#the full excitement has faded since I first thought up this scene but It's still one hell of an accomplishment

[lilybug-02]

Wow. That could not have turned out worse.

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--Full Series--

This comic will be on Holiday Hiatus this December and January! While on a cliffhanger? What a scam! >:/

[free-imaginations-for-you]

DIMMED LIGHT

ONE SHOT

Kim Taehyung x female Reader 

In this absence of any noise, i felt a very great comfort. It was so quiet you could hear my heartbeat taking on the melody of the rainbeat with every drop that splattered down the car on this rainy night. I still could not believe it, how could he do such a tumult in the restaurant, because his delusional self thought that the waiter was flirting with me. Honestly I must admit that his protective side was always a trait that drew me to him but that strong emotion mixed with the uneasiness he had felt within himself for several weeks, like him and I were moving away from each other, like he could be replaced within a blink of eye, was a deadly poison.

„Who the fuck do you think you are?“ was the last thing he spit with an evil smirk in his face, his eyes burning with pure anger. Everything happened so fast, the next thing I saw was Taehyung's fist slamming merciless into the waiter's face with full force. The awful noise is still in my ears, making me flinch whenever I imagine the scene in front of me. To be honest it‘s not the first time that such thing happened, but he vowed me to control hisself, he promised me that even when he has his outburst I never had to fear him. His outburst tonight was different from the ones I witnessed before. I can’t get it of my mind, how empty and lifeless his eyes were when they met mine while i tried with all my might to calm him down, to prevent the situation from escalating. Actually he was aware I was scared to death, he knew that I get anxious whenever someone get’s in a physical fight. It’s not like he didn’t know how upsetting this situation was for me, but he simply choose not to care about my feelings neither my wellbeing. In this moment he just wanted to prove a point, to me, to the waiter, to the restaurant, to the whole world.

It’s not a surprise that we‘ve had a tense situation for weeks, neither of us trying to state the obvious, that the spark between us is slowly but surely fading away. Words can not express how happy and exciting I was when he suggested the date in the first place. First of all he wasn’t really the romantic lovely dovley type to organize a candlelight dinner for the two of us. So in my irrational mind I thought that this would be the perfect opportunity for me to remind myself of all his good qualities which is why i fell in love with him, really hoping that the guy i fell in love with four years ago is still there waiting for me to put him out of the the dark. It feels like the Taehyung i fell in love with is gone since the day he put this personal success above all else. I‘ve always admired his ambition, but often it feels like he‘s a bird flying higher and higher, without looking back what he‘s leaving behind and I have no choice but to watch him fly from my golden cage that i had unconsciously built for myself since the day i vowed to be there for him no matter what.

Maybe it was the way he knew exactly what to say to me with those sugar sweet little lies or maybe it was me who was willing to believe every lie he told me, like an idiot closing my eyes to the most obvious thing. The way he had the power to destroy every fibre of self confidence and self love i had in me. Making me doubt myself, making me feel like the lowest version of myself. He made me feel so high above the sky, giving me the feeling of protection, love and respect. Actually slowly but surely he made me forget the beauty of the rise, because the feeling of the freefall was an hundred times worse. One positive thing came out of this situation, the fact that he put me through this made me, made me realize that I won‘t let this happen ever again. Not now, not tomorrow, not in an hundred years. Believe it or not, I made up my mind, no force in the world, no-black magic, not even his sprakling brown eves that promised me whole universes and galaxies, could revent me from putting my wishes and wellbeing first. The raindrops hit the ground loudly and relentlessly on this stormy and rainy night, instead of the tears that i vowed not to let fall. Even the cloudy and dark weather was on my side, it felt like the whole word was sharing the feeling of sadness and loneliness with me with every raindrop that fell on the cold ground.

It felt like forever but we‘ve arrived at the apartment. Not a word left our lips since the moment we left the restaurant. In all honesty I wasn‘t even ready to face him, to look him in the eyes after everything he put me through tonight. The second we entered the apartment, I made my way to the couch, I didn't even have the strength to take off my shoes nether my coat nor turn on the light. This darkness gave me a familiarity and comfort, it’s sad to say that’s the way i spend the last couple of weeks waiting for Taehyung to return home. No to be more precise I waited every night in darkness with the hope that he will enlighten the apartment with the light that his old self carried within him. It’s time to wake up from my dream and face reality, the light within him dimmed down, there is not much left of his old self.

„It not my fault, he should‘ve known what he got into the moment he started undressing you with his filthy eyes.“ he stated monotonous in a low voice while standing at the doorframe crossing his arms. „He was not flirting nor undressing me with his eyes, he was simply being polite. If you would pay attention to something other than your self for once in your life, you would have notice that he was like that with all the costumers there.“ I countered as i leaned back at the couch with a firm but calm voice, feeling tired and drained out from this messy situation. „I couldn‘t fucking care less how he acted with other women. What i don‘t tolerate is the fact he could not take his eyes off what‘s mine.“ he said angrily not understanding why you would try to defend him.

„Are you even listening to yourself? First of all i‘m not your possession and secondly just admit that you just wanted to make a point and show everyone that no one can mess with you and you enjoyed the feeling of megalomania, that you‘ve gotten used to over the last few months at my fucking expense, without wasting a fucking thought on how I felt the whole time.“ i voiced out my voice nearly breaking, feeling like every word i uttered turned to smoke slowly fading away, not even reaching him. „That‘s not true and you fucking know it.“ he said feeling hurt, trying his best not to give weight to the words you just spit. To say that he was unaffected by your statement would be a lie. The only way Taehyung could prevent himself from shutting out completely and distancing himself, was by making you feel the crushing grief he is feeling deep inside his heart. „Don’t you think that if you would know your fucking boundaries from the beginning we wouldn‘t be here in the first place. Do I have to remind you whenever we leave the door that you are in a relationship? Stop being „nice“ to every fucking male you meet, that‘s making you look so fucking pathetic.“ he screamed his voice getting louder and louder with every word coming out of his mouth, the pure sarcasm in his voice while saying the word nice didn’t go unnoticed by me. His eyes were filled with pure rage and pain. I shook my head closing my eyes not wanting to believe that he could say such hurtful things to me.

„We are over.“ i simply said those 3 words that have been lingering in my mind for so long, while standing up from the couch, feeling like a weight was lifted off my soulders. „What do you mean?“ he asked feeling panic and anxiety starting to grow inside his thorax. „I‘m so done with the way you‘ve been treating me the last couple of months I deserve so much better than this.“ i stated while pointing at us. „I gave you everything I had inside of me and you gave me nothing but pain in return. You are not the Taehyung i fell in love with, you are not the person I vowed to love, to look after, to never leave and let go anymore. Actually you don’t respect me nether do you love me after all those words you said to me and I can‘t continue this relationship for another moment.“ i confessed what I had in my mind for so long, finally making up my mind for good. He felt his heart shatter, making it impossible for him to utter a word while watching you leave the door. The best thing that ever happened to him left and he couldn‘t do nothing but watch you leave.

[butterflydm]

wheel of time s2 trailer

First: Aaah!

Okay, spoilers below -- casting spoilers and what we know about S2 and spoilers through The Dragon Reborn in the books.

First impression is that everything looks amazing and I am so excited! But before I watch anyone else's reactions, I want to break my thoughts down for myself on what all the moments that we saw might mean:

okay, first: I love this song (Control) and this edit of it is very haunting and good. Nice choice, really works.

We open with Moiraine in Foregate (looking for Rand, I assume). In her severe and fancy Cairhiein duds. "Everyone has a choice."

So it looks like Moiraine and Rand are going to make a stop at Tar Valon/the White Tower? Because there's this shot here of a blue dress in the White Tower. We see later in the trailer that Rand is in his fancy clothes when he's here, so it would be later in the season -- would it be after the girls have already left/been tricked to leave or are we going to get a Rand-Egwene-Nynaeve reunion (Randlayne meeting? Cauthor reunion?).

Moiraine being Sad in the bath -- heartbreaking but we already saw part of this in the teaser, so I'll move on. "And every choice has a consequence."

Rand in a desert-y area in his Fancy Clothes, so this is maybe their approach to Falme?

"We didn't defeat the Dark One; we set him free." Heartbreaking! I mean, I already knew that, but poor Moiraine. We have her hiding from a Fade. I think this might have been in the trailer too.

Ishy looks good. And he disappears real fast. In TAR or was he using something spoilery there that only he at this point has access to?

We have Egwene in an underground chamber doing some weaves. Is she being watched by Liandrin or is that a deceptive cut to Liandrin there?

Brief look at the Darkfriend social. "No one should have that much power."

Nynaeve looking at Alanna, I think. This was in the teaser photos that were released yesterday. Working in the kitchens. Since Alanna maybe doesn't know anything about Rand at this point (maybe...) then she might be being nosy about Nynaeve specifically.

Ishy doing some channeling (air?). And we get a more full introduction to probably-Lanfear coming out of her blood pool vibes.

Seanchan attacking a poor village via the damane. Might be when Perrin & co encounter them?

13. A door being opened up. A vault/secured door of some kind? Ah, it looks like it's the entrance to the Testing chamber and this is probably when Nynaeve is doing her Accepted testing.

14. Perrin riding down a mountain -- this was in the teaser trailer. But he looks good!

15. "Together we face the impossible. But now we're in our separate corners of the world." Rand protectively cuddles Lanfear, likely going by the name Selene. Looks like he's still in more rough traveling clothes at this point and not in his fancy clothes yet. VERY INTRIGUED by Selene wearing blue and not white. Deliberately linking her to Moiraine?

16. Rand walks down a hallway.

17. Lightning lights up a city and Lan rides on a horse in the dark. "Protecting Rand, guiding him, that is the only thing that matters!" Moiraine says to Lan, and we cut to Siuan in her fancy clothes saying, "You can't control him." Talking to Moiraine?

18. Rand wakes up maybe? Already using the Power (fire?). Is this the same scene where he pushes Moiraine up against a wall? Guessing it's after he's separated from 'Selene'.

19. Perrin looking a wolf. "You know you have something inside you." Sounds like they might do some paralleling with Perrin-wolfbrother and Rand-channeler.

20. Rand (air helping him?) pushes Moiraine up against a wall, looking kinda angry.

21. Egwene captured. You can see what a fight she put up. Her cheek is very bloody and her eyes are bloodshot too.

22. Nynaeve is in her shift, covered in blood. Part of the Accepted test?

23. Mat is staring at the dagger. Dagger is on a fancy table, Mat is still in his Two Rivers clothes. He feels the temptation. Is this part of what happens in his plotline with Liandrin? "Something that calls for blood." Yeah, they're connecting all the Emond's Field mains with this idea in the trailer.

24. "I want to know how to control it," Rand says, and we see the Power swirling around him (I don't see the taint -- is Lanfear channeling here?) as Lanfear stands behind him. He's just in a simple shirt, so I think it's earlier in the season.

25. Rand is talking to Logain here, which another sign that Rand is going to be in the White Tower, since that's where Logain is being kept prisoner. Both of them are wearing blue.

26. "The Last Battle's coming," Moiraine says, as we look at the Seanchan dominating a village and forcing them down. We can see Suroth up on a huge platform (mobile throne) and then we get a close-up to see that she's hanging with Ishy and her Voice. The Seanchan design that the show came up with is AMAZING. I've said it before and I'm sure that I'll say it again.

27. Turak opens the box holding the Horn of Valere (though we don't see the Horn yet) and says, "The whole world will be ours". Interestingly, he's not wearing the face mask but he definitely has the nails.

28. The Seanchan attack Egwene & Elayne via damane. I can't tell here if Egwene has been captured and that's what her look of defiance is about or if she's still fighting back at this point. It looks like a burst of power comes from here, so this could be her fighting back.

29. There's an explosion but it looks like this is a Nynaeve scene -- she's back to wearing Two Rivers clothes so I'm guessing this is part of her Testing. Yeah, the style of the building looks like it matches the Two Rivers.

30. Whitecloaks riding horses fades to Liandrin (in the White Tower) looks at... is that the place they melt old & reforge new Aes Sedai rings?

31. Perrin plays with a little girl. Maybe a cute moment before the Seanchan arrive?

32. Siuaraine kiss! Both of them wearing blue. Reunion in the White Tower (when she brings Rand?) or a flashback? Siuan looks very casual here.

33. Egwene hugs Nynaeve. It looks like Egwene is already dressed in her novice whites while Nynaeve is still wearing Two Rivers clothes.

34. More of Nynaeve's Accepted Testing.

35. "If our friends are in trouble why would I ever stay here." Egwene is talking to Elayne, who looks a bit dusty and thoughtful.

36. Moiraine strides out of a doorway. We get the "no conception of the power they wield", which was in the teaser. Brief shot of Lan on his horse, then we hear him say, "You can't do this by yourself."

27. Aviendha veiling up and fighting some Whitecloaks! Perrin is there. Guessing this is when he/we first meet her.

28. "There are many paths to walk through the night," Moiraine says. I think that's a shot of Liandrin (maybe going to meet Fain?).

29. "It's not always the most powerful who write history," we hear over a shot of shirtless Rand.

30. Nynaeve comes back through the Testing Doorway, covered in blood.

31. Perrin killing a Whitecloak with white hair.

32. Egwene screaming in the damane collar.

33. Rand bound to the wheel in the desert (almost certainly TAR).

34. "It's the ones who survive". And we see here that this is Liandrin speaking.

35. Rand in a plaza in Falme! Fancy clothes partially hidden under a cloak, sword on his back. Looks like this is his confrontation with Turak. We hear him say, "I'm tried of being a spoke in the wheel."

36. We get a pull-out shot of him in the desert on the wheel and it looks like he has an audience, someone in front of him. Maybe Ishy? It pulls away much too fast for me to see.

37. Rand runs someone through with a sword of fire, it looks like? Mat stabs someone (still in his Two Rivers clothes). Is that a regular spear that he's using? There's an explosion -- in Falme? Or in Cairhien?

38. "You're not a spoke, boy," Siuan says to Rand (!). Are they in Tar Valon or did Siuan come to Cairhien? I am not certain from the trailer. There are certain things that indicate they go to Tar Valon but nothing definitive, I think? So it could be that Siuan comes to Cairhien. Because that earlier Siuaraine scene could be when she's dropping off Egwene & Nynaeve or it could be a flashback. "You are the water that turns the Wheel itself."

Wow that was a lot! Okay, I'm going to see what other people think now.

[kijosakka]

and the thoughts taunt me yet again. its just becoming commonplace at this point to ramble on tumblr before i go to sleep uhhh

theres gotta be like, a liiitle bit of established characterization summed up beyond a mess of multi paragraph behemoth rambling posts in a rb chain to rehash canon properly um,,

^ general idea is of noah knowing chris and chef before TD is even conceptualized and growing up in the industry bc of it, if only ever behind the scenes and watching in < all of the posts are actually more character studies about being Wary of the Cameras than anything else but id like to look at canon if only just to try and puzzle out/outline developments and whatnot.

starting out pre-island and segueing into his little time on island (and still being majorly character study-y):

chris, with TD being a new show and all, has trouble filling out the cast, and being fussy about the specifics of his show, is willing to scrape the bottom of the barrel to find those three castmates to pad it out. hence; duncan, ezekiel, and noah

^ duncan and ezekiel both did send in audition tapes, while noah did not, (i'd imagine here something about the TD website having everyones audition tapes release once theyre eliminated as 'bonus content'. everyone, of course, except noah.) cause, you know. up until this point hes only ever been known in The Business as 'that snappy but has surprisingly good insight into the Business kid noah who accompanies mclean', but now hes being asked to join this show he wants no part in. hes perfectly willing to help out behind the scenes, wheres hes comfortable, but chris insists -- and eventually, noah gives in.

the caveat is that he goes into the show both knowing about the resort after elimination and hyperaware of the reality tv aspect. and since, in his mind, hes elimination fodder there to make sure they have a full cast roster, he delegates himself a background character and acts as such.

hes not meant to last long, so he singles out some traits and ideas and detaches his person from them. for the length of the entire show, noah knows he wont be a person. he'll be a character made up of one-liners and quips with no character motivations or involvement in any real plotlines, someone who you see how early they get eliminated and you go 'yeah, that makes sense' and then never think about again.

^ and this is very apparent from his first onscreen appearance -- it takes a good minute for the boat to go back and forth picking up contestants even if most of the spare footage is cut, and as people arrive, even if the camp is a disappointment there's a shared sense of wonder about being the people who made it onto the show they all collectively want to be on. they chat and share excited pleasantries and theres a sense of personality that is immediately apparent to their peers because of it -- except for noah. noah has his one back-and-forth with duncan and then lets himself fade into the background from there on out.

and at first, its a kind of deal where its just like 'alright. hes shy, thats alright!!", but then it continues into when theyre all sent off and distinctly off camera. you try to chat with noah, and he gives you a non-answer or a one-liner than would be great for an audience!...if anyone were watching.

the walk up the mountain for the first challenge is much of the same: no input on the speculation about the challenge, just unnerving blankness. his facial expression is unchanging, not like he was unphased by the challenge, but more like he just isnt there for it. like the plot doesnt demand his presence.

again and again the first impression they get of this guy is a weird, offputting uncanny valley sensation. he doesnt come off as a real person, he comes off as robotic and lifeless. and its weird. i'd imagine in terms of character relationships, a lot of characters would be weirded out by him and completely write him off, while some of the nicer would insist on giving him a chance to get used to everything.

the second challenge comes -- he has his whole fake-faceplant thing that hints at something more, but again. hes a collection of ideas, and one of those ideas could just be potential, overridden by his apathy and laziness; two other key ideas.

noah doesnt touch any of the food provided during that second-first-half bit, just stands blankly off to the side like hes being used for background filler. of course he doesnt, the cameras are right there. (does no one else understand that?)

^ [*]awakeathon comes and goes; noah falls asleep, and that's.... it. no scheme, no strategy, he just separates himself physically from the cast by a few feet, and gets cozy to sleep. and then he wakes up. no insight into the character like with, say, courtney or justin. no plotting like heather. just banal averageness. a play to be overlooked.

and what was he to do? there were no real opportunities for any of his 'collection of ideas' to slot in, so he fades into the background and lets everyone else take up the screentime.

[*there is, i imagine, a kind of alternate version of events where the kiss with cody does happen and can be used as further/a more clear incentive for the events of dodgebrawl to happen.

the reason ive cut it here is because just in the context of noah sticking so hard to his hyperawareness, i would imagine he would know of and preemptively try and take measures against any Sleep Shenanigans that may happen, or may even avoid sleeping for longer because of the possibility.]

and then its dodgebrawl; he sees his chance to really flaunt his non-substance. [*]noah hates physical activity, thats one of his main Ideas in his compartmentalized collection. which better challenge to utilize it in than this one? again, hes elimination fodder. as far as he's concerned, this works out perfectly.

[*this would kind of give you a reason to change his lack of athleticism if you so wished. theres an alternate-alternate version of canon keeping this same noahs background that i might post about on here at some point, but in said AU hes more physically adept bc of his past in behind-the-scenes work. whos to say he hasnt helped carry heavy set pieces or ran around during busy hours?

it could serve to be a) self indulgent to some degree, and who doesnt love that, but also b) further alienate him from his cast, where even one of the barest traits he exhibits is just flat out wrong.

or you could just keep it as-is, and alter his attitude towards anything physical while keeping his unathleticism. or it could just be one of his chosen (truthful) traits that he decides fits with his on-screen character. its pretty ambiguous]

he gloats and inserts his quips where he can, the book hes carrying really just there to really sell it -- in terms of the cast and their thoughts, its again strange.

hes saying Words, but theyre Detached from the character and demeanor. hes putting on a performance and hes selling it pretty well, but its still hard to shake how off something seems about it. but noah does sell it and he gets voted off, off to his long vacation stay which he is absolutely looking forward to.

he arrives at the island, he gives his character interview full of non-answers, and then -- well, thats it. or it would've been it had he not noticed the obscene explosion of popularity the show had from its debut. the general public loved it, and you know what happens to shows that people absolutely adore? they get approved for second seasons.

this is the fact that tips noah straight into barring himself from all interpersonal relationships, as he was already wary simply by virtue of them being his castmates --theyre on screen, on set with him. that changes a lot about your dynamic with someone. -- and that he never really knows if theyre being watched on the playa; it is network-owned at the end of the day. so both the uncertainty and 'confirmation' of a second season lead him to avoid the cast entirely. literally.

nobody sees anything of noah beyond flashes in peripherals, disappearing books from the living area, and dirty dishes -- until theyre called for filming of haute camp-ture. and while its obvious to everyone else that theyre treading lightly around him since they, you know, havent seen him at all, noah acts completely unchanged. no acknowledgement of his absence, just the same dynamic with his castmates hes always had on-screen.

afterwards, someone tries to get his attention, to be like 'hey?????', and noah dismisses them extremely flatly. like npc dialogue. and then he disappears again, until i triple dog dare you, which im going to say they just gather everyone outside and let them do their own things until someone spins them and they have to give a dare. noah sits himself on a pool chair in his swim shirt and trunks with a book and Does Not interact with the cast at all.

^ you could spin it where they get a bunch of dares from the contestants individually and just read off from where theyre listed or whatever but this would be a chance to have alternate povs noting exactly what the characters think of noahs separation from everyone

anyway theyre called on the island for the [*]finale between owen and gwen, and he lets himself fade into the background. his work is done, it has been done, and now he just has to wait for what the segue into the inevitable second season is so he can wipe his hands clean of it (or so he thinks)

[*i think it could be written both ways, one where when the cast cheers he cheers and when they scream he screams, or another where despite the frenzied emotions around him, noah remains unaffected.

perhaps it could be used as a kind of 'well even people like zeke and eva are rowdy about this' contrast where either way it comes off as incredibly uncanny; one way, hes showing distinct emotion where he never has before, while never having shown any emotional investment in the winner. and the other way, hes completely detached from the emotions around him, to the point where he acts like its not even happening; his lack of investment in the winner is offputting, esp when compared to very early eliminated contestants who still do care.]

[fallinallincurls]

Die A Happy Man

september 1st is nate’s day so a fic was due!! happy birthday to one of my favorite hockeys ever. this whole idea actually sparked from the tags in a post that @sorryjustafangirl​ put up! and now, here it is all finished in a little adorable blurb. die a happy man by thomas rhett screams nate to me so that was also used as inspo for this concept.

hope you enjoy!! feedback is always appreciated! xx

word count: 940

~~~~~

“Gabe, look.” EJ elbows his best friend who is standing next to him on the back deck. It doesn’t matter that Gabe is currently in another conversation, EJ needs his attention before the moment passes. 

“What?” He asks, turning around to face Erik but confused as to what the interruption is for. Without another word, EJ tilts his head towards the dock just across the large yard. Most of the team and their families are occupying the green grass for the team barbecue that Nate graciously hosted at his lake house to celebrate the team’s Stanley Cup win.

But there’s only two people on the dock. You and Nate. No one seems to notice the two of you besides Erik and Gabe, of course, and the scene that’s unfolding is a shock to say the least. 

“Holy shit.” Gabe mumbles, the biggest grin blossoming across his face. “Is that Nate? Like our Nate? Dancing in a public space? I don’t believe it.”

“Somehow, it is our Nathan. You know that must mean he’s totally in love with her. He never does that, ever.” EJ chuckles, a teasing tone evident in his words, but Gabe knows it’s the truth. Over the many years the three men have been teammates, it’s been obvious that it takes a very special person to get Nate out of his shell.

And up until now, they’ve never seen him dance with a girl before let alone in front of everyone.

“He must be.” Gabe agrees without hesitation.

The conversation doesn’t go any further because the longtime friends get roped into a game of cornhole against the rookies and neither you or Nate are aware of what his teammates just discussed. 

Instead, your giggles are mixing with Nate’s sweet chuckles as you dance around the dock together. When you posed the simple question of “will you dance with me?” when the Thomas Rhett song came on, you didn’t think Nate would say yes. In almost the full year that you’ve been dating, you haven’t seen him do anything remotely close to dancing so you figured him agreeing to do so in a backyard that’s full of everyone he knows would be a long shot.

You were wrong.

After an eager nod from him as a response and kicking your shoes off, Nate pulled you onto the dock and wasted no time wrapping his arms around your waist. You’re still pressed close against his body, both of you swaying together to the music without a care in the world. Occasionally, Nate will spin you outwards only for you to twirl back into his arms or he surprises you with perfect dips that make you shriek in happy surprise.

The moment couldn’t have been more perfect. 

Nothing but happiness and love flowed between the two of you. In your boyfriend’s arms, everything else fades away. But you swear there has never been anything better than right now, dancing under the warm summer sun with the man who makes you the happiest. Nate’s soft smile warms your heart and he doesn’t hesitate to kiss you almost every other second while you keep dancing. Seeing the joy on his face and how relaxed he is because of the Cup win and being here with you is something you are incredibly grateful for.

And because you’re both entirely lost in each other, the knowing looks and excited whispers coming from Nate’s teammates and families in the yard go unnoticed. EJ’s smirking, trying to plan out how to ambush his friend with the big question that includes the L word. But everyone else watches on in either awe or disbelief.

“You know,” Nate speaks up for the first time since the song started, his beautiful blue eyes full of adoration as he looks at you. His voice interrupts your thoughts, but neither of your movements falter. He kisses you one, two, three times before continuing. “If I never win another cup or get to travel the world or play for as long as I possibly can in the NHL, I’d still would be the happiest man alive.”

“Why’s that, bubs?” You ask, heart melting at his sweet confession. Your fingers tangle in the short hair at back of his neck and he hums in contentment.

“Because I have you and your love. That’s all I ever need.”

“You can’t mean that. Never winning another cup? Not playing as long as you can? Those are your lifelong dreams.” You argue, brows furrowed at your boyfriend’s confession even as your heart soars with each passing second.

“Yeah, maybe. They were my lifelong dreams. Until I met you. If I never get any of those things and still have you, I’m the happiest man alive. I would die a happy man.” 

You can’t stop the swell of adoration in your chest at his words. Nothing you can say will properly show how much he means to you so instead, you pull him in for a tender kiss. Nate responds within a split second, hands keeping you close and kissing you back like nothing else in the world matters. 

Because right now, it doesn’t.

The Cup surrounded by his teammates on his deck isn’t a thought. How warm his skin is underneath the summer sun doesn’t even register. And certainly, the hoots and hollers from EJ aren’t heard as Nate depends the kiss. 

This is what he’s always wanted. And now that you’re here, he won’t ever let you go. Because if everything else fails and life doesn’t turn out the way it should, he has your love and that alone means his life is complete.

taglist: @tonyspep @miracleonice87 @princessphilly @starshine-hockey-girl @rosesvioletshardy @sorryjustafangirl @laurenairay @hockeyunits @stroopwaffle8 @musiclove-12 @ilyasorokinn @jostystyles @broadstflyers @breezymichelle99 @comphyjost @ya-pucking-nerd @beauvibaby @chokedwithaseaview @sourjoonie​ @idontgiveaflyinggrayson69​ @itrocksmysocks​ @typical-simplelove​ @boqvistsbabe​ @happer08​ @antoineroussel​ @twpkstiles @suitandtys​ @equallyshaw​ @eightmakar​ @kailyn-writes​ 

[wafflesinthe504]

If Love Had Come To Me I Wouldn't Recognize It (Now Every Time You Smile Its a Little Priceless)

@flufftober

Rating: High T/ Low M: Fade to Black scene

Fandom: The Rookie

Prompt Fill: 🌹 and "You are my person."

Title from One Life by Dermot Kennedy

____________________________________________________________

For the first time in years Tim was excited for Valentine’s Day. He had been planning and preparing for his first Valentine’s Day with Lucy since the last week in January. He hoped that tonight all of his preparations for tonight would finally pay off.

Tim was finishing the final touches of the main course when Kojo got up from his bed and started barking at the door wagging his tail and turning around in circles. A moment later his suspicion was confirmed when the door opened to reveal Lucy in the green dress from Angela’s wedding. He’s glad that he went with a dark green shirt and black suit jacket for the evening.

Tim is too stunned by Lucy to form any words let alone focus on anything other than her. He takes her in as she sets her things down on the couch before focusing her attention Kojo who had been prancing around her feet from the moment she stepped into the house.

“Hey, sorry I’m late. Traffic was crazy. I left my house twenty minutes early and LA traffic still managed to be worse than I could have imagined.” Lucy says as she continues to pet Kojo.

Tim means to respond. Really, he does but his brain can’t seem to get over how easily Lucy makes herself at home in his space. He can’t wait until the day they move in together officially.

Tim is snapped out of his thoughts when he hears Lucy ask him something.

“I’m sorry. What did you say?”

“I asked if you were okay. You looked pretty lost in thought there for a moment.” Lucy says, her brows pinched together, as she walks over to Tim placing a hand on his arm.

Tim smiles. He loves how she always checks up on him. He’s so used to taking care of people it’s nice to be taken care of. “I’m good. I just forgot how breathtaking you are.” Tim kisses away the worry lines on Lucy’s forehead and places his hands on her hips.

He watches as Lucy blushes at his words, a smile breaking out over her face.

“Thanks, you’re not too bad yourself.” Lucy teases.

“Not too bad?”

“Alright, you are very handsome. Better?”

“Much.”

Tim leans down and kisses Lucy gently before placing a kiss on her nose and head. He and Lucy rest their foreheads against each other closing their eyes and simply enjoying each other’s presence. Well, that is until Lucy’s stomach growls.

They both laugh as they pull away from each other.

“Lucy?

She hums in response.

“Did you forget to eat lunch today?”

“No, it was just cut short when me and Aaron got a urgent call that needed an immediate response. So, I’m sort of running on a taco and a half right now. By the way everything smells amazing. What did you cook for tonight?”

“That is a surprise. Do you mind taking Kojo out to the backyard? I haven’t been able to give him a proper walk this evening and I’m sure he needs to run off some energy. Everything should be set up once you get back.”

“Ok, is there anything I need to grab for him before I take him out?”

“No, his outdoor water bowl should be full and I fed him a few minutes before you got here so he shouldn’t be hungry.”

“Alright. I’ll be right back.” Lucy says right before she Kojo over to follow her outside.

Tim watches as she grabs one of Kojo favorite chew toys and brings out with her. He has to stop himself from staring again so that he can get the table ready. Tim sets out a fancy tableware set that Angela had brought him a while ago. Next, he gets the nice bottle of red wine out of the fridge and sets it in the middle of the table along with two wine glasses. Finally, he plates up the main dish of the night and sets the side dishes on either side of the wine bottle.

Tim dims the lights and lights a few candles that he had seen at Lucy’s apartment and bought a few days ago.

Tim stands next to the table as he waits for Lucy to come back in. Lucy’s laughter fills the house as she comes back in. He hears her say goodbye to Kojo as she closes the door behind her.

“You were right Kojo definitely needed to run off some energy. I feel a little ba-.” Lucy pauses as she reaches the dining room.  “Oh, wow! This is amazing. How did you manage to set all of this up? I was only gone a few minutes.”

“A lot of preparation beforehand.” Tim pulls out her chair and gestures for her to take a seat. He relishes in the short but sweet kiss that Lucy places on his cheek. Tim returns the gesture before taking a seat in the chair across from her. 

Lucy stares at all the food laid out on the table.

“Tim everything looks and smells delicious. You know you didn’t have to do all of this.”

“I know, but I wanted to. This is our first Valentine’s Day together and I wanted to make sure it was special.”

“Thank you. Seriously, this has already blown all of my previous Valentine’s Day out of the water.” Lucy takes another look at the food in front of her smiles. “Wait is this the vegetable lasagna-.”

“That you told me about a few days ago. Yes, it is. You seemed so excited about it so I thought that I would surprise you with it for tonight. Hopefully, I did it justice.”

“If it tastes as good as it smells I’m sure that it is going to be amazing.”

“And as the sides I made some garlic bread and I tried my hand at making those seafood dumplings that you made a few weeks ago.”

Lucy adoringly stares at Tim. She starts and stops to say something multiple times before shaking her head and leaning over the table to kiss Tim.

“Wow, I didn’t think I’d ever manage to render Lucy Chen speechless.” Tim teases against her lips.

Lucy chuckles and rolls her eyes as she leans back in her chair.

“Well, consider the impossible done. I am without words for everything that I’m feeling right now.”

“All good I hope.”

Lucy smiles and nods. “All good.”

As Tim and Lucy eat they converse lightly about their day, family, and friends. Their conversation is lively and full of laughter. Over the course of the dinner Tim feels the stress of the past few days melt away. He knows that him and Lucy are still in the early stages of their relationships but he already knows that he wants this for the rest of his life. Coming home to Lucy or Lucy coming home to him and relaxing in each other’s presence. He knows that everyday won’t be perfect and they’ll still have their arguments but he’s ready for that too because Lucy, their relationship and their future family will always be worth fighting for.

Its almost funny that today’s the day that he has the gut punch realization of what he’s feeling. There’s 365 days in the year and of course he figures out that he loves Lucy Chen on Valentine’s Day. Its probably the most cliché thing that has ever happened to him in his life and he really can’t find it in himself to care. Tim quietly chuckles to himself and shakes his head at himself.

He's not surprised that Lucy notices and it just makes him smile harder.

“What?” Lucy asks, a light smile crosses her face as her brows draw together.

Tim swears that his heart grows bigger and he thinks it might explode from all the love he has for Lucy.

“I’ll, uh, I’ll tell you after we clean up. I want to tell you right and I think I need a few minutes to figure out to do that okay.” He says meeting Lucy’s gaze.

“Okay. I’ll get the dishes and you get Kojo. I’m sure he wants some one on one time with his dad.”

“Luce I was going to get the dishes.”

“I know, but you did all of this for me today. Let me at least help with cleaning up.”

Tim reaches across the space between him and Lucy and lays his hand, palm side up, on the table. His hand is quickly enveloped in hers.

“I did this for us, Luce.”

“I know Tim. I know.”

Tim watches as Lucy stands and walks around the table. She sits in Tim’s lap, looping her arms around his neck. Tim wraps his arms around her waist holding her close him. He can’t help but to rest his head in the crook of her neck. He loves how Lucy’s hands feel as she gently runs her fingers through the hair at the nape of his neck. Tim places a gentle kiss to her shoulder before lifting his head to look at her.  

“Let me get the dishes Tim. I appreciate everything you did for us today, so just let me do this. Trust me putting some dishes in the dish washer isn’t going to ruin Valentine’s Day for me.”

“Okay, I’ll get our dog ready for bed while you get the dishes.”

Tim kisses Lucy one last time reluctantly breaking their embrace to go get Kojo. He changes out of his dress clothes and into a pair of sweats and t-shirt before going to Kojo. When he steps outside he sees Kojo laying in his dog house lazily biting one of his chew toys. For a moment he considers just bringing Kojo inside but he knows from previous experience that if Kojo doesn’t have a proper night time run the dog will be up all hours of the night wanting play.

Tim calls Kojo over to him who runs over happily barking and wagging his tail.

“Hey, who’s a good boy.” Tim says as he kneels down to Kojo to give him some rubs and cuddles. “You ready for your walk buddy? Yeah? Alright, come on lets go.” He says as he hooks Kojo’s leash into his collar.

Tim takes Kojo for a run around the block two times. By the time he and Kojo arrive back at his house nearly half an hour has passed. When they enter the house Kojo goes to his bed. Tim locks up the house and sets the alarm. He calls out Lucy’s name when he doesn’t see her in the kitchen.     

“In here.” Lucy calls out from Tim’s room.

The sight that greets Tim when steps into his room stops him in his tracks. Lucy’s night clothes are laid out on his bed. She’s already started to change. Her shoes from earlier are off and her dress is partially undone.

“See something you like?” Lucy teases as she turns to face Tim.

“Yeah, I do.” Tim says taking a step toward Lucy. “May I?” He asks gesturing towards Lucy’s dress.

Lucy nods, turning back around to let Tim access the zipper. “You sort of have great timing because the zipper got stuck and I’m not really in the position to unstick it.”

Tim chuckles as he gently tugs the zipper to unstick it. Eventually the zipper comes free and he’s able to unzip the dress. One side of the dress slips down Lucy’s shoulder. Tim presses a kiss into the shoulder that’s now exposed. He feels her shudder against him.

“Is this, okay?”

Lucy nods imperceptibly. “Yeah, better than okay.” She leans into Tim’s embrace.

Tim carefully helps Lucy out of the rest of the dress, kissing every inch of skin that he can along the way. It isn’t until he pulls back from Lucy that he notices the matching set of underwear that she’s wearing. Once again, he’s rendered speechless. When Lucy turns in his arms to face him, he gladly accepts her kiss his hands landing on her hips, his thumbs rubbing small circles into her side. He feels her hands land on his shoulder before they run down chest and continue their way down to the hem of his shirt only to push the shirt up as far as she can.

Tim breaks the kiss to take his shirt off the rest of the way and throws it off to the wayside.

“Lucy, you are the most amazing and beautiful person I know and I am so lucky to have you in my life.” Tim says in-between peppering kisses along her neck and shoulder.

He leans into Lucy’s touch when she caresses his face and lets her guide his head so that he meets her gaze and when he look into her eyes he sees a multitude of intense emotions swirling around.

“Tim, everyday that I’m with you is one of the best days of my life. You are so strong and kind. I am so happy to be the one you chose to be vulnerable with. Thank you for letting me in.”     

He wants to tell her right now exactly how he feels about. How much he loves her and can’t wait spend the rest of his life with her. How she was the one to help him re-learn how to be open and vulnerable to those he cares about. He wants to explain to her that over the last few years and especially these last few months home stopped being a place and started being anywhere she is and that he’s most at home when he’s in her arms.

Its all bubbling right at the surface, but he doesn’t think now is the right time. He doesn’t want her to think that he’s saying it because they’re about to have sex and its his lust filled brain taking over. Tim wants her to know just how much he means every word he wants to say. So, he waits.

Instead, he kisses her trying to convey every emotion he’s filling into the action. On some level she must understand because she kisses him back with the same intensity and Tim is sure he’s never been happier about the fact that they don’t need words to communicate.

Tim picks Lucy up and brings her over to the bed laying her down. He hears her confused whine when he pulls away from her. Tim notes the way the whine turns into a giggle once she realizes what he’s doing.

“Alright, good call. I would have hated for my clothes to get ruined.” She says as she watches him put away her dress and the clothes that she had laid out earlier into her bag that was now sitting next to the bed.   

After he’s done Tim makes his way back over to Lucy and covers her body with his own. Over the next few hours Tim makes it clear with his actions how much he loves and adores Lucy. Tim is more surprised than he should be when Lucy returns his affection and so much more.

__________________________

Its not until late the next morning that the conversation that he wanted to have last night is brought up again. They’re sitting on the couch eating breakfast that they decided to DoorDash since neither one had the energy to cook with both of them still being tired from last night’s activities. A rom-com that Lucy had chosen plays out in front of them with Tim only half paying attention As the credit begin to roll Lucy mutes the tv and turns to him.

“I know that there was something that you wanted to talk about last night after dinner, but then we got… distracted. Do you still want to talk about it?”

This is his chance to finally tell Lucy that he loves her. After months maybe even years he finally gets to tell her, but when it comes to saying those three words out loud he freezes. He knows that rationally there’s nothing to fear because he’s pretty sure that Lucy feels the same way. And for a moment he considers changing the subject or making something up, but then he remembers how Lucy had told with such reverence that he is strong and brave last night and he musters up the courage to tell her.

Tim pulls Lucy into his lap, guiding her so that she straddles his waist and looks into her eyes.

“Lucy, you are my person. The one I want to be with on my best days and worst nights. The one I trust more than anyone in the world to have my back or call me on my BS. I know that we’ve only been dating a few months, but I am in love with you and I hope I get to share the rest of my life with you.”

A moment passes as Tim waits for Lucy’s response. His heart is beating so hard he swears its going to beat out of his chest and he knows that Lucy can feel his heart beat from where her hand is resting on his chest. He’s nearly taken off guard by the way Lucy surges forward and kisses him.

“Tim, you are my person too. You are my home and my safe place. I love you so much and I can’t wait to build a family with you one day.” Lucy says against his lips. She kisses him one more time before settling her head in-between the crook of his shoulder and neck. Her hand rests over his heart.

Tim kisses her head and wraps an arm around her waist while his other hand reaches up to hold her hand. He doesn’t know how long they stay like this and can’t really find it in him to care because as long as he’s with Lucy he’s home. He can’t wait for their next Valentine’s Day together and all the other moments in-between.

[astolary]

𝐕𝐀𝐋𝐎𝐑𝐀𝐍𝐓 𝐌𝐎𝐃𝐄𝐑𝐍 𝐀𝐂𝐓𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐀𝐔! 𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐓 𝟐 .

( Synopsis ) Glimpse behind the scenes.

( Content Warnings ) Cursing, and spoilers for shattered if you haven't watched it.

( Word Count ) 0.7k words // EDITED! 

PART ONE || PART TWO

( 1 ) 你能说, 我爱你?! — means “can you say, I love you?!

( 2 ) 我爱你 — means, “I love you”

— VALORANT MODERN ACTING AU! THE SIMPLE THINGS, WHEREAS;

A whole year of festivities. Holidays, birthdays, traditions, award ceremonies. The list goes on. For example:

Everyone's a Mr. Worldwide: Food edition.

Every day they learn something new. Cultural shocks happened within their small family, and they had a big laugh about it every time. Brimstone has every moment saved in his photobook.

Each agent had a taste of the different cuisines. Neon's sinigang and adobo ranked first, Fade's pide ranked second, and Jett's kimchi third.

Rice and ulam, no one can survive without it. Neon claimed once.

Imagine how delicious their meals are since there's something new each time. The whole world to offer in one big dining table.

Sova's babushka delivered the cast lunch one time and they'd never seen the Russian so happy while he spoke about what the dishes were.

Chamber can't use chopsticks, everyone made fun of him. (In a friendly way, of course.)

There's a moment of silence if there are people who do their prayers before their meals.

Nobody disturbs Viper and Raze while they eat, absolute madwomen.

Sage fusses over them like the mother she is and insists they eat more. Kay/o gladly takes more servings of the free food.

Omen got invited to an eating show and dominated the whole thing.

Everyone's a Mr. Worldwide: Travel edition.

Some perks about being in Valorant; they get to travel the world. The most notable moments were:

Icebox? Bennett Island, Sakha, Russia. A few of them were never used to the cold of winter, so they were excited to try something new.

There’s a tally of how many times Yoru slipped on the ice. It's updated on the internet every time, courtesy of Skye.

Bind? Rabat, Morocco. Cypher never thought he would be comforted by the harsh heat of the place.

Phoenix withered in his seat while he watched Cypher take big lungfuls of air. Why?

DUALITY! While filming in Rabat, the air blew sand to Phoenix's eyes and the shoot was delayed for a full hour. Nobody had water, so everyone ran the whole area looking for water while Killjoy and Viper dragged poor Phoenix around.

Phoenix tripped on his shoelaces, dragging Killjoy and Viper down with him. He screamed while falling, so now there was sand in his eyes and inside his mouth. He hasn't recovered from this incident to this day.

Fracture? Santa Fe, New Mexico, USA.

The younger agents had the time of their lives playing on the zipline. The older ones suffered because Raze kept pleading to join in on the fun.

'You go first' war between Fade and Chamber. Fade gave up and pushed the French first, and he was not prepared at all. Lost a shoe in the process.

Behind the scenes.

There's a compilation of Breach screaming about being late for a couple of shoots; his arms are still charging.

Somebody conveniently stole Yoru's motorcycle that's now sitting in the lost and found.

Jett accidentally threw a knife at one of the cameras. At least they don't need to put effects on the scene anymore...?

Cypher's hat and Omen's cape are official merchandise sold out every time.

SHATTERED! Reyna ties Neon's hair with her favorite rubber band after their shoot together since Neon was sweaty.

Also, Reyna's nails have their own name at the spa since everyone 'ooooooo' and 'aaaaaaaaa'd at it.

All of the pictures of them during the last seconds of the fifth cinematic were all the official art Valorant made to surprise their cast. Viper had a selfie with her stand.

Now, why didn't Cypher die? Nora didn't give him a morning kiss. So he was sulky.

Before 'SHATTERED' got released, Killjoy accidentally lost her glasses since she took a nap so everyone panicked. But they were on schedule so it was all good.

Neon threw her frenzy a bit too far and flew out the window, so they had to get it.

Killjoy genuinely wasn't expecting a robot to be in front of her once she opened the door. That was why she just slapped it and mumbled a 'sorry' while Neon tried not to laugh.

Overall one of the best experiences Valorant has ever done.

—

EXTRA:

If the director had a chance to describe the cast: A chaotic collision of cultures and languages. In a good way.

But sometimes, this leads to fans saying...

"Chamber! Can you say I’m a putangina!"

“Neon told me exactly what that means, no.”

"Sage! 你能说 (random fan name), 我爱你?!"

"Astra, 我爱你 <3"

"Aw, thanks fam! I love you too :D"

"CYPHER CAN I MARRY YOUR WIFE?"

"Absolutely not."

Yeah, Valorant has never done a meet and greet after this ever again.

astolary 2022 — do not edit, repost, or translate.

[kroashent]

Return to the Tavern - The Hat or the Peg

Kathalia leapt up with a start, the chair clattering to the floor as it fell.  She had no doubt in her mind of what she had seen, the distinct presence of the troublesome poulpiquet trickster.  If Beldam was here, then trouble was already well underway.  She turned, ready to give chase when a hand moved in front of her, maneuvering her into the wall.  Gwae stood before her, looking up at Kathalia with her ice blue eyes, sparkling with sudden intoxicated mischief, her teeth flashing into a wolfish grin.  Kathalia squirmed with the sudden distraction, unable to comprehend why now, of all times, Gwae was suddenly upon her like this, pressing her body so close.  Her legs brushed against Kathalia's with an intentional and unmistakable push.

"Gwae!  We need to hurry!" Kathalia began, trying to push past her confusion and a growing, distracting intrigue as she looked into Gwae's eyes, feeling the girl's cold breath making her own hairs stand on end, a shiver passing over her body as she tried to focus.  Gwae was so close, so forward.  Her ears were pressed back as she leaned in close, nuzzling Kathalia with a soft snout, her tail wagging as she moved ever closer, softly whispering in the tongue of the Islands.  Kathalia shuddered, her resolution fading in her confusion as her own excitement began to betray her.  She felt nervous and excited, not the jaded veteran of a dozen battles and countless brawls, but like a young girl watching Markizez Melusine triumph at the tournament.  Her confidence wavered as she struggled to regain verbal momentum.

"Acrasia.... Wait... Tonnere de Brest..." She faltered.  Gwae didn't have a tail...  Kathalia blinked, the glamour fading away like a sheer silk curtain being drawn back.  Gwae's lupine muzzle still nuzzling Kathalia's neck, was covered in a soft grey fur that seemed to extend all the way down to her paw-like feet and the tip of the swishing tail.  Kathalia jolted back as the reality suddenly hit hit like a bucket of icy water.

"You're becoming..." She began, unable to finish the sentence

"I fancy yer hat, Kathalia." Gwae said, her wolfish grin now appearing quite literally before Kathalia's stunned face as she pulled back from her nuzzle to look into the sellsword's eyes.

"What..." Kathalia muttered, her train of thought broken.  Her claws scraped on the wooden floor as she squirmed and shifted, the brushing of fur against fur sending her senses scrambling as if carried by the 12 winds.  Gwae's scent, a pine forest after the first snowfall of the year, entered the nostrils on the soft black cap of her own lengthening muzzle.  

"But I fancy the peg its sitting on more..." Gwae continued as she moved in, kissing Kathalia on her neck and punctuating it with a little nip.  That was all that was needed as Kathalia, her own lupine form taking over, moved to return the favor, her inhibitions thrown to the winds....

-----------------

Val's Notes: Bloody hell, I've been sitting on this one for far too long!  This one was drawn about 2 years ago, part of a very large folder that, for one reason or another, never saw proper publication.  I'm slowly but surely cleaning that up and sharing these works.

AGES ago I did a little werewolf picture reimaging a scenario I drew even further back, featuring Gwae wolfing out in a fantasy tavern:

I really enjoyed that piece, both working on it and the end result, and decided it was time to rework the Moonlight Tavern sequence to better fit the characters and setting that has developed since then.  To that end, I drew a whole set of lycanthropic tavern goers, but held off on posting them as I began in earnest in outlining and drafting my first full length story with these characters: Kroashent, Bal Des Loups.  I was debating on using them for in-story illustrations.  I won't say whether or not this scene happens in the story.  You'll need to read to find out!  If you like this kind of content, please be sure to read and comment on my story here, on Furaffinity or on Archive of Our Own.  Your support and engagement is crucial to keeping the steam on these projects going! 

-----------------

If you would like to support my art help the world of Kroashent come to life, as well as receive other rewards like sneak-peaks, exclusive versions and sketches, please visit my Patreon page, with a wide array of tiers for all budgets: www.patreon.com/Kroashent Check out the full story of Kroashent: Bal des Loups, on Archive of Our Own or in this gallery: https://archiveofourown.org/series/3141606 Want to chat Kroashent or Val's art in general? Drop in on Kroashent on Discord: discord.gg/MZjc3Gg Learn more about the world of Kroashent on our official Wiki: https://www.worldanvil.com/w/alvez-kroashent

[lowtide-atserotoninbay]

Canton's Relient K reflects on fame: 'The story got crazier and crazier'

4/13/22 by Ed Balint

Matt Thiessen's voice filled with energy as he recalled the rise of Relient K from a band playing small gigs in his hometown to slots with major music festivals and appearances on late night television shows.

"Growing up in Ohio, it's such a special place," said the 41-year-old frontman of the pop punk band. "When we were starting out, there wasn't a ton of bands, but there was about five or six really cool bands full of buddies, and we could all play shows together, and those are some of the best times you could remember."

More than a decade has passed since timing and circumstances converged to launch Relient K from obscurity to mainstream chart success, a spot on the Vans Warped Tour and impressive record sales, all while transcending the Christian music scene where the band started. 

"And it just created a momentum that we just got to ride, and then, yeah, the story got crazier and crazier," Thiessen added.

"The Alive Festival ... playing things like that, and for the first time, someone wants your autograph, and (I thought), 'What is my autograph?' and that sort of thing. And yeah, we think about that stuff all the time, and it's pretty crazy how it changed our lives."

Thiessen took time to chat by phone a few days prior to Relient K's concert at the House of Blues in Cleveland late last month. Stark County native and co-founding band member Matthew Hoopes chimed in via email on Monday.

Thiessen spoke with the insight and maturity of a musician who knows thousands of bands don't make it, and even many who do fade out without the ability to consistently tour or make music.

Hoopes, 41, said the band and its fans have aged together.

"We had so much fun playing together," he said of the recently concluded tour. "It’s been about five years since our last show, and honestly, I wasn’t sure if we would ever get back to this. I think there is a certain sense of gratitude and joy that is present now in our live shows. I think a lot of our fans weren’t sure if we would ever tour again, either, so I think it’s part of the reason for the excitement and overall good vibes."

Asked how long he thinks Relient K will last, Thiessen didn't flinch: "Matt and I always said the band will always exist as long as we're having fun."

Reflecting on the tour, he sounded at ease: "It's not too hard to have fun."

Rounding out the band during the tour were Jonathan Schneck, guitar and vocals; Ethan Luck, bass and vocals; and Dave Douglas, drums and vocals.

Relient K released its last studio album in 2016, "Air for Free." A live album came out in 2020.

Thiessen lives in Nashville and Hoopes calls Florida home.

"We do have ... a goal of making another album someday," said Thiessen, who co-produced Owl City's No. 1 song "Fireflies" in 2009 and still writes new music regularly. "Logistics in this band have become a little difficult. ... It's just about getting together, and it's about figuring out where and what and when and how, but it will happen — I have faith that it will."

Touring re-energized the band, Hoopes observed.

"I’m excited about what we can make ... and how we can make music that feels important to us after all these years," the guitarist wrote. "I don’t really think about hanging it up at a certain point. I think that Relient K will always kind of change into whatever form it needs to be for us, and that’s a pretty cool place to be.

"I don’t think we are too concerned with retiring or doing a farewell tour, but hey, you never know. The future is undetermined, but that’s what makes it exciting." 

Edited for brevity and clarity, the rest of the conversation and email exchange follow.

Making it in the music business

"I'm sure a lot of bands think their story is special and miraculous, but that's the way we look at ours, too," said Thiessen, a 1998 Tusky Valley High School graduate. "There's just so many little factors of, 'If this hadn't happened, nothing would have happened,' this sort of thing.

"We were so fortunate to have Mark Lee Townsend produce our albums, and he lived in Canton, and he had connections. He played in this band DC Talk, and if we wouldn't have met him at 16 years old, we would have never made a demo, and TobyMac would have never heard this demo and signed us, and if we never got signed, then we wouldn't have ever been able to go on a tour.

"I was like putting gas to the floor trying to write a new record, and that's when 'Sadie Hawkins Dance' got created. ... And it's kind of like just that butterfly effect."

Playing the popular songs, "Be My Escape" and "Sadie Hawkins Dance" so many years later

"That song ('Be My Escape') has existed for a long time for us, so I can play it with my eyes closed sort of thing," said Thiessen. "That's half the fun ... that I can just play it and ... kind of look at everyone singing along and just kind of vibe off of that.

"The goose bump moments actually come in less expected places, and it changes from night to night – certain crowds react differently to different songs, and that makes it really fun. After the show, we can all sit around and talk about it, (and how) I can't believe they were singing along so loud to a song called 'Empty House' or something, and the (opening act Semler) back stage saying it gave her chills, and that's cool.

"... It's actually come full circle," he said of performing "Sadie Hawkins Dance." "There was probably a time in our career when it felt a little foolish to be playing that song. We're out on tour with Good Charlotte and Simple Plan, and I just wanted to play what I thought were our cool songs, and every night we still have to play 'Sadie Hawkins,' and it still goes over well.

"And now I think back and I say that song was alright, and it's just fun and silly, and that person who wrote that song is still inside of me somewhere, and it's great to harness that inner child or inner 20-year-old and enjoy it every night."

Would you like to play the Alive Festival again?

"We'd love to, absolutely," Thiessen said. "I remember attending it before the band even existed. A funny story was always that there was three of us. Our old bass player Brian Pittman still lives in Canton. And it was Matt Hoopes, Brian Pittman and I, and we all went to an Alive Festival ... and we all got to see this ska band called (The O.C. Supertones), and after seeing it, Matt and Brian were convinced Relient K should be a ska band.

"We were very early in writing stuff, but I was set on being a pop punk band, and I think for a moment I got kicked out of Relient K, but I was also the songwriter, so they, without even telling me, I was brought back into Relient K.

"And then we got to start playing the Alive Festival, and yes, of course, we would love to come back and do it if they would want us to come."

Still Ohio proud

"It's definitely the people," Thiessen said. "You know, Ohioans are unlike anybody else. I miss the vibe. I still get back to Ohio all the time. My sister ... lives down in Columbus, Sunbury, Ohio, and my mom ended up moving down to Apple Valley, which is kind of in between Canton and Columbus. I'm always there, and it's a very similar vibe to where we grew up, and I don't know, I feel more relaxed, I feel kind of more at home when I visit Ohio more than anywhere else.

"But ... it was always a thing in pop punk culture to kind of diss your hometown and be like, 'I got to get out of here, I need to go on the road and see the world.' We were joking about that the other day, and you go on the road and you end up seeing the back alley behind the same venue in every city ... and that's where you hang out – it's funny."

Hoopes said Ohio helped shape the band.

"I think we’ve always held on to a little bit of a blue-collar/DIY approach that feels uniquely (Northeast) Ohio. I notice that kind of, I don’t know, gritty approach in myself in other things, too, like running my guitar pedal business — 1981 Inventions. I think so many pop punk bands that came out in the early 2000s were from the coasts (California, New Jersey, etc.) We weren’t quite cool enough to be lumped in as Midwest emo. Part of it is wearing our roots proudly on our sleeves, and part is explaining where we are coming from and why we are the way we are."

Watching the Cleveland Cavaliers win the NBA championship in 2016

"So one really cool thing about living in Nashville is there's a lot of people from Ohio, and a lot of close friends that have moved down there, not just for music, but it's because Nashville's a cool place to be, too," Thiessen said. "So I ended up buying a real long cable for my TV and putting it out, and we all watched the Cavs win in the swimming pool.

"So that was good, and yeah, we had a couple of guys who broke down in tears and stuff. It was pretty cool; it was a special moment. I was happy. I didn't quite get there and cry."

Visiting Stark County

"It always feels smaller when I come home, closer together than I remember," said Hoopes, a 1999 McKinley High School graduate. It "feels safe and simple, but in a nice way. It does feel slow paced in comparison to other places, but not in a bad way. I do love coming home to my parents' house and going back to our favorite places like Milk and Honey or even Swensons."

The joys of touring

"One of my favorite things about this tour is Semler, the opener," Thiessen said. "She's just really great, and she's just got this cool stage presence, and I don't know, (but) she makes me feel good every day when I get to see her perform. Honestly, I think she makes me cry a little bit when I watch her set because it's so emotional and what not. I don't know why she agreed to do this tour, but we're just really glad she did."

The Relient K experience

"I think that the more time passes, I feel grateful for the opportunity to experience the things we have experienced," said Hoopes, who got married about five years ago and now has young children. "It’s crazy to get to see other countries like Japan or New Zealand, or get to play (the) Warped Tour or The Tonight Show. It’s surreal, honestly. I think in hindsight I’m able to have a more balanced view of it.

"I don’t think we necessarily deserved those opportunities, but we did work hard and continued to show up, and Matt continued to write great songs. I think what I’m trying to say at this point in my life is that, I feel more gratitude for everything, but I can also more clearly see some of the costs along the way.

"Ultimately, I feel that there is always room for gratitude no matter how things happened, and there are so many things about my life now that I wouldn’t change for the world. Relient K has given each of us a unique experience to say the least, and it’s a fun story to be a part of."

What if you didn't make it in rock and roll?

"I went to Kent Stark, and I was just going to get some gen eds," Thiessen recalled. " ... But (entertainment writing) is really fun. I would have loved to get into journalism. I love the radio. I love like marketing, but creative marketing. ... Whoever gets to make those Geico commercials ... I always thought I would gravitate towards that type of thing. (But) I haven't had to do it yet."

Hoopes, meanwhile, runs a successful guitar pedal business, calling 1981 Inventions his "main job," while noting he used his DRV pedal on tour.

"So I guess Relient K is an odd side hustle if you will," he wrote. "I always guessed it would be the other way around. I started my company in 2018, in a season when I was legitimately trying to figure out what to do with my life. I hoped that building guitar pedals would be a bit of a weekend project sort of thing, where I could make pedals for myself and my friends. But since my first release, it became clear that I would need to work really hard to try to keep up with demand.https://0674e81c281a55fea9b19534f73e1e5c.safeframe.googlesyndication.com/safeframe/1-0-38/html/container.html

"I think the band really helped me start out doing pedals, as most people who follow us are at least mildly aware that I am obsessed with guitar gear and pedals, especially. I honestly just love it. But it’s been an incredible experience to see the pedal stand on its own. I’d guess that most people who follow 1981 Inventions are not aware (of) Relient K, and that’s kind of cool in a way."

Source

[jungkxook]

—make it right. (m)

⟶ pairing: jungkook x reader 

⟶ genre: punk!jungkook / band au / exes-to-lovers au / angst / smut

⟶ words: 11,528

⟶ rating: 18+ 

⟶ summary: you’re wholeheartedly, madly in love with jungkook and yet you shouldn’t be because it’s been almost a year since you broke up with him. worst part of it all is that you know he’s still in love with you too

⟶ warnings: jungkook has a tongue piercing, oral sex because of said tongue piercing (fem!recieving), more tattooed and long haired jungkook to feed my fantasies, angsty pining clingy sex, also just general soft sex, crying sex lol, riding, creampie, slight praise kink themes, unprotected sex

⟶ disclaimer: here’s my one year blog anniversary present inspired by the first ever fic i posted on here! yes this is technically a sequel to melomaniac but not really. sort of like an alternate universe to the alternate universe but you don’t really have to read one or the other to understand the other. so, i hope you enjoy!

⟶ this is part of the melodrama tour series!

You swear you’re over Jungkook.

In fact, you would even go so far as to say you hate him ━ but you know that’s not true. It’s just that it’s much easier to believe that if you tell yourself you hate him enough times, then maybe you’ll find a way to fix your broken heart, and the pain in his absence won’t hurt so bad. 

As it turns out, it hardly works.

Seven months since he had left you to travel the world with his band, basking in promised eternal glory and fame and money, and yet even miles and oceans away from where you stand, he’s all you can think about. There’s a myriad of reasons as to why trying to forget him was an useless endeavour. The hardships of trying to forget a cherished life-long friendship you had grown accustomed to was one of them, and those lingering happy moments you had shared with him as lovers however fleeting they may be was another. But then there was the ever present fact that Jungkook and his band were so quick to rise to fame, their names far exceeding the seemingly cramped and small city you had both reigned from, and suddenly the boy you had known forever, and everything special that makes him, was now being shared to hundreds of millions of adoring fans.

You were certain it was all Jungkook ever wanted, the added attention and the pretty girls fawning over him, because he had always been a casanova in many ways despite always promising you that you were the only one for him even before you had started dating. You had told him it wouldn’t work ━ I trust you as my best friend, you had said in a moment of despair, grasping at straws. I don’t have to worry about you breaking my heart. But I don’t know if I can trust you as my boyfriend ━ far before he and his band had been signed to their record label and paraded around the world, when they were still practicing in rented storage units and friends’ garages and rundown local studios, playing gigs anywhere and everywhere from dingy bars to college campus parties, supporting him every step of the way if only because he was your best friend, and he had been so persistent that it would work, chasing after you even when you tried to push him away. I would treat you right, he had urged so ardently late one drunken night after stumbling back to his apartment. I already practically worship the ground you walk on.

And how could you ━ who had already been so madly in love with him but scared of him breaking your heart, scared of losing him, scared of this happening ━ ever resist him? He made love seem so easy, and maybe that’s because it was when you were with him. But now, he was no longer yours; now, he was the world’s, and you were nothing but a mere hazy fragmented memory in his mind, long forgotten, watching from the side of the stage much like you always had from the very start of it all.

“Hey, isn’t this that band?” Jihyo’s voice bursts through your wandering trail of thoughts.

It takes you a moment to recollect yourself, finding yourself not in the arms of an ex-lover or stuck in a bygone time of months past, but in the cosy and amiable café nearest your campus and frequented by a plethora of your fellow peers. You’re fortunate to find that your other group mates have also become sidetracked, trailing far from the assignment you were all supposed to be working on. Dahyun is perched beside you, chin nestled in the palm of her hand and elbow propped on the table as she scrolls aimlessly through her phone; Jihyo and Taeyong were sat across from you, gossiping fervently about some mutual friend of theirs. You hadn’t known the pair long enough to know much about them or the tragic affair of whoever Mina is for accepting her cheating boyfriend back for the second time, and, likewise, they seem oblivious to your own self-wallowing once you realize what’s caught Jihyo’s sudden attention.

You hear his voice first.

It’s easy to discern, even after all this time and even amongst the muffled chatter and clanking of porcelain and cutlery of those seated around you. The sweet, velvety lull of Jungkook singing throughout the café from the overhead speakers, pretty upbeat melodies and synths mixed with wistful words making up the song he had written for you before he left, before the fame and fans, as a way of telling you how he truly felt about you. It feels like a dream, and maybe that’s because it is, bringing you instantly to another time, and another world. You still remember him showing you the unfinished song for the very first time, curled up next to him in his living room, listening to him serenade you to sleep, humming in places where he hadn’t formed the words yet, strumming along with his acoustic. It was yours and his until he showed the world almost a year ago on their very first show at the Seoul Olympic Stadium in front of thousands of people, as a final desperate act of proclaiming his love for you after a disastrous attempt at a first date that he had begged from you. Just one, he pleaded. To prove it to you that I can be a good boyfriend. And if things don’t work out, we can pretend it never happened and just go back to being us. That’s a promise.

At the time, you had treasured the song. It was beautiful in every way, his love transcending his words and enveloping your heart in pure warmth.

Now, you hate it.

It’s the third time you’ve heard the song that day. Despite avoiding it as best as you could, it seems to find a way to make itself known in your daily life like the nagging nuisance it is. Because fate seemed to enjoy its sadistic behaviour of having the song be one of the main reasons Jungkook and his band had skyrocketed to fame in such a short span of time and, suddenly, Jungkook disappearing from your life meant little when his voice remained as a constant reminder of what could have been, what couldn’t have been, and what fell apart at the already fragile seams. And what was a proclamation of love to you turned into nothing but a fabled tale of lovers. You wonder if people who hear it ever think about where they’ve gone, or who they’ve turned into, or if their love was made to last. You wonder, above all else, if people ever think about it at all.

“Beyond the Scene, right?” Taeyong asks. He seems just as animated to be discussing the song as Jungkook’s voice fades into Jimin’s.

“God, I love this song. It’s so dreamy,” Jihyo lets out a longing sigh as she slumps against her seat. “Y’know, I’m seeing them this Friday. It’s their first time being back in, like, five months.”

“Dude, I’ve been trying to get tickets to see them for months now!” Taeyong gaps incredulously. “How’d you score them?”

“A friend of a friend knows the guy who plays keys,” Jihyo says. “The cute mysterious one.”

“Yoongi, right?”

“Yeah━”

As the pair dive into a passionate discussion about the boys and their first full-length album released under their recently-signed-to label from Columbia Records, you shift uncomfortably in your seat. Dahyun almost immediately straightens up, eyes flickering from the pair to you and back again. You’re both fortunate she’s there, having known your past with Jungkook, and despise it a little more, wondering what her pitying gaze must mean.

“Hey, Dahyun. Y/N.” Taeyong’s voice grabs your attention now. “What do you think of these guys? Didn’t some of them used to go to this school?”

“Yeah, I had a few classes with their drummer.” Dahyun waves her hand airly, swiftly brushing over the fact that she did far more than have a “few classes” with any of the boys but was also one of their closest friends. “I think they’re great━” She glances sideways at you one more time. “Hey, maybe we should get back to the assignment now━”

“I had a class with their lead guitarist, Jungkook, last year,” Jihyo continues, her excitement getting the best of her as Dahyun’s voice drowns out in the foreground.

“No way!” This dubious exclamation comes from Taeyong.

“I tried talking to him once but he totally blew me off,” Jihyo says. “Which is fine, because he’s still hot. If I had known he was gonna be a famous rockstar, I’d have tried asking him out a second time━”

Suddenly, you feel sick.

It’s odd to hear two strangers discuss Jungkook’s life while you’re seated across from them, as if you’re nothing more than an outsider to whoever Jungkook has become now. But you can’t stand it anymore. You’re certain you look insane to them when you push your seat back abruptly, the metal legs screeching against the floor as you stand.

“Whoa, what’s wrong━?” Taeyong starts to ask but you’re gone before he can finish the question, murmuring a half-hearted excuse about how you forgot you needed to be somewhere.

You’ve rounded on your heel and have fled from the café before anyone can try to stop you, with nothing but Jungkook’s mellifluous voice fading in the distance as he croons aloud for you in a time long since passed.

You don’t care. Besides, you’re sure Dahyun will cover for you.

The worst part of it all? The dreadful realization that sinks into your mind, and into your heart, beckons the question: who’s to say you aren’t a stranger now to Jungkook’s life altogether?

“So, what are you trying to say?”

You remember the moment so clearly despite wanting nothing more than to forget it all, and the pain associated with it. Because even from then you knew you would always be in love with Jungkook, but you couldn’t have him. It’s hard to remember whose fault it is this time that caused the sudden fight, though random little arguments had been a frequent occurrence nearing the end of your one year relationship more often than not. You hate blaming it all on him, because you were certain you were at fault too. Maybe a little bit wary at times, a little selfish, wanting him all to yourself. Even though you knew he has an obligation to the world, it still hurt when he started making promises he couldn’t keep, blowing you off for soundchecks, or spontaneous interviews, or record label meetings. More and more you could feel the both of you drifting apart, maybe without even meaning for it to happen.

It was just that Jungkook was destined for a lifetime of greatness, and you were starting to think that meant without you.

You had stopped him late one night after he had stumbled home from his and the band’s nightly studio sessions as they worked through recording their debut album as a signed band. Lately, it seemed as if that was all that Jungkook cared about, and while you knew the band meant the world to him and you would always support him in his endeavour, you couldn’t help but feel lesser in comparison. That, and you hated seeing the boy overwork himself to the point of near exhaustion every night if only because their label was so adamant about having the album finished before the month ended.

“You want to, what? Break up?” Jungkook asked, this time more incredulously and less dumbfounded as he had initially been. He didn’t believe you just yet, but you couldn’t exactly tell what he was thinking anymore at that point.

“I just figured we could use some time apart,” You had suggested awkwardly. “Just a break.”

He had let out a breathless, disbelieving laugh. “Y/N, this is insane.”

You flinched. You remember having to look away, refusing to meet his suddenly sorrowful look. “Is it, Jungkook? I mean… Look at us. We’re falling apart. It was bound to happen eventually. We tried to make it work but maybe we’re on different paths now.”

“But I love you,” Jungkook gasped, exasperated. “Where is this coming from?”

“And I don’t want to have to tie you down for the rest of your life,” You continued on stubbornly, “or make you think you owe me your whole life just because you said you fell in love with me when you were thirteen━”

This seemed to catch Jungkook’s attention. He grew rigid in front of you, a look of wary agony contorting his face. “Is that what this is then? You don’t love me anymore?”

You didn’t respond immediately, instead the dread of the night seemed to finally catch up with you and you had grimaced. You had loved him even then, but the thought of voicing it aloud when you were supposed to be breaking up with him didn’t feel right. The tears began to swell in your throat and blur your vision. Jungkook must have noticed, because he always seems to spot the small things about you that even you miss. Almost instantly, the sour look on his face softened and his gaze turned helpless, with those big puppy-dog eyes that you’ve always been too fond of. He closed the distance between you at once, warm hands grabbing at your own.

“You do.” It wasn’t a question, but a statement. He knew you were still in love with him ━ or maybe he’d just been hopeful. “I know you do. So then why are you breaking up with me?” 

He let go of one of your hands to reach up to your face, calloused fingers gentle and soft against your cheek as they brushed away a rogue tear you hadn’t realized had fallen from your lashes. For a moment, you had let yourself get carried away. You leaned into the comforting heat and touch of his palm as he cradled your face.

“Don’t━” You choked out after a moment of silence, hating when your voice splintered into a sob. “Don’t touch me. Please, Jungkook. You’re only going to make this harder.”

His hands sprang away from your face almost at once, as if he had just been burnt by scalding fire. He wanted nothing more than to reach out and pull you into his arms but he had refrained the urge somehow, miraculously. So, instead, he grit his teeth and clenched his hands into fists as his arms fell limp at his sides.

“Then don’t do this. Don’t walk away,” Jungkook pleaded desperately. “I don’t understand. If you love me still, why are you making this harder for yourself?”

“Because what if that’s all we have in common anymore?” You asked wretchedly. “We care about each other. We always will. But you’re focused on the band, and this is my last year of school. Maybe we just need time to focus on ourselves.”

Jungkook blinked once. Twice. His stare was suddenly devoid of any emotion as he gawked at you, but you could tell that he was hurting. It was there in the fluttering of nerves in his jaw; there, in the way his lips pulled taut into a thin line; there, in the way even you could see his eyes begin to shimmer with wet tears that he unabashedly displays without trying to wipe away.

“So that’s it?” he asked. “After everything we’ve been through. You’re just gonna end it, like that? Y/N, come on━”

His hands had found purchase on your waist, and you had lingered for a moment too long; then, fumbling, he tried to grab delicately at your face, probing you to look at him. But you couldn’t. The moment you met his wounded gaze, you shook your head furiously. You had slithered out of his grasp, slipping through the seams of his fingers just like that.

“I━” You paused. “This isn’t some spur of the moment decision, Jungkook. How can you not see it? I’ve felt so alone these past few months. It’s like you’re here but not entirely. Your mind is always somewhere else, always thinking about the band and never about us.”

“What am I supposed to do?” he had asked hotly. “The band is my everything.”

“And what am I?” You asked. The question only mildly offended you, a shot right to your heart. Because if the band was his everything, what were you in comparison? “A distraction until you get everything you want? I can’t keep being that.”

“No!” he protested. “You’re not a distraction. You’re━” He stopped himself short, brows furrowing. “You can’t keep pinning this all on me. You just don’t trust me, do you? You never did. Always thinking I’m with some other girl when I’m not with you━”

“That’s not true,” You admonished.

“Isn’t it?” Jungkook retaliated.

“I don’t want to hear it,” You had said at once. Your tone was final, a decisive ending to your argument with him. “My mind’s already been made up, Jungkook. I don’t think we should see each other again until we sort all this out ━ or, until you sort out whatever your priorities are.”

Jungkook’s stare had hardened, a frown deeply etching into his face. He had straightened up then, perplexed and upset with your standoffish demeanour, as if thinking this surely meant nothing to you. But little did he know this would become one of the hardest decisions you would have to make.

“Fine,” he said rigidly. “If that’s how it is, then I’m gone. You’ll never have to see me again.”

You hadn’t known at the time just how terribly you had messed up ━ neither had Jungkook. He had left before you could stop him, or before either of you could change your minds. Because nothing’s worse than a broken heart, blinded by stubborn and defensive rage. Accusatory fingers and blaming him or you wouldn’t heal the wounds that had already formed, and ending things seemed to only make it worse, months of lonely heartache without Jungkook to further prove just that…

The last time you spoke to Jungkook, you told him you never wanted to see him again ━ or, at least, that seems to be how he interpreted it.

Now, you were standing in the midst of his domain, surrounded by everyone in his public sphere of friends and colleagues and acquaintances, and there was certainly no way of escaping him.

You were starting to think you’re losing mind, because you’d truly have to be insane to have worked up the nerve to agree to go with Dahyun to a party being held celebrating the band’s recent tremendous success and headlining their first world tour. Their manager, Jin, had personally reached out to you and Dahyun, calling you as a means of asking you to attend, though you had given him a timid and dismissive response at first. If it hadn’t been for Dahyun purposely and almost quite literally dragging you out under the premise that “even if you don’t want to see Jungkook, you at least owe it to the boys to go,” you don’t think you’d even be here. But while you didn’t know where you stood with Jungkook anymore, that didn’t mean you weren’t still proud of him or the rest of the boys. It just became harder to bask in their success with them when you had gone from knowing every detail of their lives, of Jungkook’s life, to knowing only what you could hear from gossiping fans around you, or plastered in tabloids, or all over any form of social media.

The party is held at some sort of fancy lavish restaurant, the entire back room rented out by the band’s record label and management, and is filled with dozens of people you don’t know. Fortunately, you and Dahyun aren’t left alone for very long, as an elated Jin and Jimin, the appointed lead singer, bustle their way through the crowd to you almost as soon as you arrive, leaving very little time for you to feel so awkward that you consider running away again. Jimin, in all his spritely and extravagant blue haired disposition, wastes no time in engulfing you both in a comforting hug as if months hadn’t passed since you’ve last seen them.

“Glad you guys could make it!” Jin smiles from over Jimin’s shoulder.

“It’s been forever,” Jimin affirms.

“Wouldn’t miss it for the world,” Dahyun says. “I’m surprised you guys didn’t forget about us, considering you’re big rockstars now.”

“Rockstar is a bit of an overstatement.” An effortlessly charming smirk unfurls on Jimin’s face, which seems to immediately dazzle Dahyun. “Besides, we could never forget you. Hey, come with me to find the guys. I think we could all use some time to catch up━”

He places his hand on the small of Dahyun’s back as he guides her away, leaving you with Jin. A moment of silence passes, in which time you can feel the boy’s eyes lingering on you.

“He knows you’re coming tonight, if that’s what you’re worried about,” Jin says carefully, treading over his words lightly. It’s too painfully obvious who he’s talking about, though you’re fortunate he doesn’t bother mentioning Jungkook’s name anyway. “There’s no point in hiding. I think you should talk to him.”

“I━” You trail off uselessly, your voice croaking. Fearing an imminent breakdown, you shake your head. Then, holding your chin a little higher, Jin’s startled to hear you pretend as if he hadn’t said anything. “It really is good to see you guys again. If you’ll excuse me, I think I need a drink.”

And you’re gone once more before he can say anything else. On your lonesome, you find refuge at the bar, though you only order water because you’re certain you won’t be able to stomach anything stronger. You don’t know how long you spend there, blankly staring at a spot on the wall as your mind wanders everywhere and yet nowhere at all until━

“Y/N?”

There it is again. The familiar sound of his voice, only this time it’s much more attainable, closer to your world and not elsewhere so high in the clouds like a hopeful dream. You brace yourself before turning to face him.

This close, Jungkook looks breathtakingly and painfully beautiful.

As always, he’s adorned in all black, the first few buttons of the silky blouse he’s wearing left undone so that it teases the exposed flesh of his collarbones and the rose tattoo that inks his chest, the thorny stems crawling up the side of his neck just below his ear, accompanied by a pair of leather pants. He’s the same as ever. The same imperfect tattoos that decorate his fingers and arms that you’ve always loved, the same ring-clad fingers painted a chipped black, the same hoop accentuating his button nose. His hair is still his natural dark ebony color (something he’s seemed to stick with much more as of late despite dyeing it wild colours throughout his past), only it’s a little longer than you last remembered, and the sides of his head are shaved in the form of an undercut. You’re foolishly surprised to find he still looks the same, but almost a year away from someone can both change nothing and yet everything all at once.

“Jungkook…” You want to say something more, but your words fall short.

It’s hard to tell if he’s angry or upset at seeing you there, but you don’t think he’s either, and you have an inkling of a thought that he purposely sought you out amongst the many faces. Instead, he looks hesitant, apprehensive, as if dreading how you’ll respond to see him. As if you’ll yell at him, push him away. You do neither, fortunately.

Just when the dense silence starts to become almost unbearable, Jungkook clears his throat. “I━ Wow… You look great.”

You blink once, a flustered blush warming your face that you hope he doesn’t notice. “Oh. Thank you. You do, too.”

His eyes flicker over your presence as he nods absentmindedly. Then, he’s offering you a pretty smile, soft and sweet in nature. No malice, or ill-intent. “Um━ How have you been?”

You hate this. You hate the awkward pauses, the prolonged periods of silence. A year ago, even despite knowingly pining for one another, your moments alone with Jungkook were never so terrible. He always found a way to say something cheekily flirtatious even when you were just friends, if only because he knew it would make you blush and giggle because, no matter how many times you would roll your eyes or nudge his sides, he also knew you secretly loved it. All the inside jokes, the milestones shared together, the ardent fleeting touches ━ where did it all go? And while you were both noticeably trying to maintain the peace and pleasantry between one another, it didn’t feel the same. It felt forced, fake. Distracted.

“I’ve been good,” You lie. “How about you? Actually, don’t answer that━” You let out a breathless chuckle. “You’ve clearly been doing amazing. I mean, your album, and your world tour. And tomorrow you’ve got a big day with the hometown show. I heard it sold out in the first ten minutes.”

“Something like that,” Jungkook says modestly. “It’s been kind of crazy. Namjoon says it’s good, but I miss━ I just miss a lot of how it used to be. The slow pace. I dunno. The quick burn up is quick to burn out, right?”

“Maybe,” You admit. “But I think you’ve all got it in you. You’ve worked so hard for this moment. Enjoy it while you’re in it. You deserve it, Jungkook.”

His stare softens as it meets yours. “Thanks.”

Another beat of silence passes. He looks as if he’s warring with himself, as if he’s fighting the urge to say something more, gnawing at his lower lip, brows knitting together.

“Yo, Jeon!” A foreign voice from amongst the crowd beckons aloud abruptly for the boy.

Jungkook glances over his shoulder swiftly in search of the source, then waves his hand as if to motion he’ll be there later. Then, he turns back to you. “Sorry about that.”

“It’s okay. I won’t keep you,” You say. “I know you’re busy.”

“But━” He stops himself, his jaw clamping shut. Changing his mind, he decides to ask hopefully, “Will you be at the show tomorrow?”

“Of course.” The affirmation seems to relieve him, even though it’s a spontaneous decision made by you on the spot. Before this moment, you hadn’t been so sure you could go.

“Promise?”

You can’t help but shake your head, a chuckle slipping past your lips at the innocent boyish question he asks. “Yes, Jungkook.”

His smile widens a little more, however sheepish it may be. “Then can you promise me one more thing?”

“What?” You quirk a brow, intrigued to say the least.

“Will you drop by the hotel we’re staying at tomorrow morning, so I can take you out for a coffee? Just to catch up. It’s been a while,” he says timidly. Then, feeling a little stupid for being so bold, scrambles to explain himself. “And no pressure if you don’t want to. I just thought━”

You can’t possibly say no. Not when it comes to Jungkook, all your past struggles seemingly vanishing without a trace. “I’d like that a lot, Jungkook.”

“Really?”

“Yeah.”

Then he’s positively beaming, his self-indulgent grin making your own heart flutter in your chest. When he leaves your side that night, you find yourself looking forward to the future perhaps a little too optimistically. But how terrible could grabbing coffee with your ex be, if you had survived the first wretched encounter?

So, in the morning when you wake, there’s not a stutter in your step or a wavering flicker of your confidence as you make your way to the Four Seasons hotel Jungkook had told you to from the night before. In fact, a selfish part of you almost thinks that maybe things will start to look up. That maybe you and Jungkook can finally make amends. That maybe you never had a reason to fear Jungkook breaking your heart if he made such an effort to heal it.

The hotel itself is one of the most luxurious ones in Seoul, a considerable contrast from when the boys were slumming it on friends’ couches and in their run-down van touring the country. The room Jungkook tells you to meet him at is one of the hotel’s grand suites, located on the higher levels of the building. But as soon as you reach the landing and have begun making your way towards the designated door, it flings open and a pretty girl comes stumbling out. She’s giggling at something that has just happened inside, her hair a dishevelled mess which she ruffles up in an attempt to fix it. She’s adorned in a pretty little dress, the skirt of which is hiked a little higher up and one strap falling down her shoulder, as she clings her shoes and bag to her chest. She smiles at you on the way past, though she’s too far gone in her own little daze that you wonder if she even notices you at all.

But you certainly notice her, and, all at once, your reverie of him and what could be comes crashing to the ground once more.

Maybe you should have stayed, should have waited for Jungkook to let him explain, but you were too afraid to hear an answer you weren’t looking for. You try desperately not to imagine Jungkook loving someone else. You try not to think about him holding her the same way he held you, his lips finding purchase on some other girl. But by trying to avoid the thought, it beckons the unwarranted memories of how it felt to be loved all over by him once upon a time. You wonder how many girls he’s hooked up with in your time apart, and the overwhelming sense of regret washes over you.

You don’t bother to wait. You know fleeing is the easiest option rather than facing your fear, but you’re far too timid of rejection again. Instead, even before you can approach Jungkook’s hotel room and knock on the door, you turn on your heels and run.

You’re long gone by the time Jungkook comes to the door, prying it open in search of you on a whim. When he doesn’t see you, he glances up and down the hallway but to no avail. Namjoon comes slinking past inside then in his own disoriented haze, having just woken up from moments ago when the girl he had taken back to their room the night before left. Even then, Jungkook had warned the rhythm guitarist against bringing the girl back, pointing out the fact that they had much to do today ahead of their concert. Namjoon had promised it wouldn’t be long, that she would be gone in the morning, and Jungkook was fortunate enough that the suite had two separate bedrooms on the opposite ends of one another so that Jungkook didn’t have to hear whatever it was the pair were doing in the other.

“Did Mina leave?” Namjoon asks through a yawn, digging the heels of his palms into his tired eyes. When Jungkook nods, a sliver of a reminiscent smug grin tugs at Namjoon’s lips. “You missed out, Jungkook.”

The cheeky quip is met with a roll of Jungkook’s eyes. “I’m sure I’ll survive. You know I’m not like that.”

Like that━ As in midnight hook-ups and cheap thrills alike. He tried it once, far ago when you had first broken up with him, on a drunken spur of a moment as a way of healing the anguish in his heart. It hadn’t worked then; he assumed it would never work.

Namjoon seems to understand this immediately. He gives Jungkook a look that the boy doesn’t notice. “Well… is Y/N here yet?”

“No. But I’m sure she’ll be here,” Jungkook grimaces. He hopes. “Something probably came up.”

Namjoon clasps a reassuring hand on Jungkook’s shoulder, humming aloud, “Good luck, dude.”

But you never arrive, even though Jungkook waits for most of the morning, nervous eyes flickering to the door at every commotion outside, running to check only to see room service delivering breakfast or concierge showing guests to their rooms. He has no choice but to give up on the thought of you coming when Jin knocks on their door, prompting the boys to get a start on their day. Interviews and soundcheck await, but how could he possibly go on with his life without knowing what happened to you?

Which is why you stay on his mind for the rest of the day, distracting him in every aspect, mixing up his words when he’s in the midst of his interview, tripping up on stage as the boys set up and begin to rehearse. As the hours wane down to just an hour before the show, the thought of performing in front of thousands of fans starts to make him nervous and he doesn’t know why. He’s done this countless times before, almost nightly during the tour, so what stops him now? Of course he knows the answer, had grown all too accustomed to the feeling the first few months in which the break up had been so recent. It would always be about you.

But just before the show starts, Jungkook is making his way backstage from the greenroom, where the band had been waiting, to the stage. Fiddling with his in-ear piece, he almost doesn’t notice you and Dahyun weaving your way through the roadies and sound tech, being guided by Jin to the pit on the side of the stage where only family and friends are allowed. You don’t see him, and there’s a split moment where he thinks he should just let you go, until he doesn’t.

As he makes his way to you, the tour manager for the band intervenes part way, shouting out to the boy. “Where are you going? We’re on in five, Jungkook!”

“Yeah, I’ll be right back━” He waves the manager off as politely as he can, wasting no time to chase after you. He calls out your name, though it drowns out in the sound of the music being blasted through the speakers of the arena and the screaming fans. “Y/N, wait up!”

He’s relieved when he sees you stop in your tracks, turning to face him as Dahyun and Jin become lost in the chaos of the backstage. He comes to stand just before you, smiling breathlessly at you, unaware of the way your shoulders tense at the sight of him.

“You didn’t show up this morning,” he says as a way of greeting, his voice a curious prob. “What happened?”

You try desperately not to get lost in his big beautiful eyes, laced with such hope. Instead, you fold your arms over your chest, looking away. “Something came up.”

It’s then that Jungkook senses something is wrong. You’re upset with him, though he can’t tell why. Aside from the obvious rift in your relationship that had initially split you two up, you had been so pleasant to see him the night before. But he doesn’t give up just yet. “Well… you’re here now.”

You meet his gaze with your own hardened one. “For the boys.”

A shot right to his heart almost makes Jungkook gasp for air. He flinches, and then his stare softens, and you wish he wouldn’t look at you like that, out of fear that you might just relapse into his arms.

“What’s wrong?” He closes the distance between the two of you. He wants nothing more than to reach out and touch you, but refrains with much difficulty. There’s dozens of things that could be wrong, and he braces himself for your retaliation. “You didn’t want to come, did you?”

When you don’t respond, but also don’t stray from his side, Jungkook hurries to speak again if only to fill the tense silence.

“Look, last night… Maybe it was just me, but last night seemed like things were okay,” he says. “Was I wrong to feel that way?”

“Jungkook…”

“Please, just let me know,” he begs. “Because you’re all I can think about these days, it’s driving me crazy. And I don’t know what’s going on, but the reason I wanted to see you this morning was because I hate how things ended between us, and I wanted to tell you…” He swallows nervously as he trails off uncertainly. “I wanted to tell you that I’m still in love with you. And I can’t get you out of my head. These months away from you made me realize that I━”

Suddenly, you’re shaking your head and he knows you don’t believe him. As soon as the words leave his mouth, he regrets saying it, if only because they seem to enliven you. Now, you push yourself away from the boy. “I’m not doing this right now. You’re not doing this right now.”

As if to further your point, the band’s tour manager can be heard calling out frantically for the boy. “Two minutes, Jungkook!”

But Jungkook is hardly paying attention now, instead solely focused on you. “Please, Y/N━”

“No, you don’t get to say that to me,” You admonish hotly. You can’t bite the words back, no matter how hard you try. “You don’t love me. You think you love me, but you don’t.”

His jaw clenches, and his brows furrow into a frustrated stare. “I do.”

“You don’t.”

“Yes, I do.”

“Stop.” The harsh word makes Jungkook clamp his mouth shut. You shake your head furiously, but you know it’s only to distract yourself so that you don’t let the tears fall. “You’re being selfish, Jungkook. You don’t get to take all of me, love all of me, and leave, only to come back months later and pretend you’re still in love with me. And whatever this━” You gesture vaguely between the two of you, “is, or was, doesn’t exist anymore. We both need to stop pretending otherwise.”

Jungkook winces, eyes tinged with pain. “You don’t mean that.”

You don’t respond. Elsewhere, his tour manager starts to grow impatient, scolding the boy aloud, “Jungkook, we’re gonna be late. Hurry up!”

“Yeah, I’ll be there!” Jungkook calls back, irritated. Maybe he is being selfish. He’s wasting precious time by not leaving, all the hard work that the crew put into tonight’s show, and the fans awaiting his and the band’s arrival. He can still hear the crowd, this time their buzzing voices amalgamating into unanimous chanting muffled by the walls that sounds akin to the band’s name.

“You should go,” You say now. “Don’t wanna disappoint them.”

But he’d throw it all away for you if you told him to. He promised you that even before he had left for tour, before the band had been signed. Had you forgotten? Because he surely hadn’t.

“Y/N…”

“Good luck out there.”

Then, you’re gone before Jungkook can even make a move to stop you ━ but even if he did, what could he do to make you stay? The feat seemed impossible, and you always seem to find a way to slip from his grasp no matter what he does. Only this time he has no choice but to let you go, out of fear of being berated further by his tour manager or angering the boys so much to the point where he gets kicked out of the band.

He makes it on stage in time, the band filing out to take their places one at a time, deafening screams blowing out their in-ear pieces that stand no chance as each member joins the stage. The lights fizzle out until complete darkness cloaks the venue, but Jungkook still looks for you. He finds you in the pit on the side of the stage, Jin and Dahyun standing beside you, and finds it hard to keep his eyes off of you even though you attempt to pretend as if he’s not even there.

After their first adrenaline-filled opening song of the night, Jimin takes to the microphone to greet the crowd who scream back an indiscernible shout as, elsewhere, you notice Jungkook pry himself away from the microphone stand on his side of the stage to wave the rest of the boys over to Hoseok’s drum kit. They murmur amongst themselves briefly, though they go unnoticed by Jimin or the crowd as the lead singer entertains them.

“Seoul! It’s good to be back. We’ve missed you all so much━”

Jimin’s words get cut short when Jungkook, having just parted ways with the rest of his members for their impromptu meeting, beckons the lead singer over, out of range of the microphone. They seem to discuss something just as shortly as Jungkook had talked with the rest of the boys, in which time Jimin nods understandingly, then steps away from the microphone. Then, Jungkook takes to the microphone, the rings on his fingers glistening under the spotlight as he grips the stand.

“I know the night’s only getting started,” Jungkook’s voice wavers as he speaks, “but we’re gonna slow things down for a moment. We hope you don’t mind.”

Intrigued murmurs echo around the crowd, suddenly buzzing with excitement as they watch Jungkook with eager eyes. A few encouraging bellows has Jungkook smiling smally. Jin, on the other hand, looks perplexed.

“What is he doing?” Jin asks no one in particular, a quizzical look on his face. “This isn’t part of their set.”

“I think a lot of you might know this next song,” Jungkook continues, “but I don’t think I’ve ever expressed how much it means to me. This next one, I wrote for a special someone, and it sort of helped us achieve all of this. So, I think it’s time that person knows how much they mean to me.”

Jungkook glances nervously over at the boys standing behind him, each in their own respective spots. Then, sweeping his gaze across the crowd, he finally finds you already staring up at him. His own eyes soften into a look of longing, however hardened by past tribulations and sorrow it may be. As if he’s determined not to lose you again; determined to make it up to you.

“This next one is for Y/N,” he says timidly. He has to turn away from you in the next second, afraid he might just break down before the fans and the boys and you. “I’m sorry I messed up.”

As the boys take their place, with Jimin taking an acoustic and fading back from the limelight, you wonder why. But then you hear it, the familiar beginning chords making up the song you had so wholeheartedly claimed you hated. Only this time they’re gentler, made up of acoustic strums of a guitar, Hoseok’s drums, and Yoongi’s keys, all amalgamating into a pretty song almost unrecognizable.

Then, Jungkook starts singing, and what was once a wistful dreamy song of prospective lovers suddenly turns into a melancholic requiem for you. Some lyrics are changed, present tense turning to the past, and Jungkook sings his way throughout the entirety of the song in contrast to the one that plays all over the radio featuring the other member’s voices. The fans sing along, their voices melding with Jungkook’s into some sort of celestial mellifluous choir, and you’re left no longer wondering if the fans would ever know the meaning behind the song that Jungkook had brought to life. Because now, it wasn’t just Jungkook singing to you; it was the whole world. And yet, paradoxically at the same time, it felt all that much more intimate. As if it were just you and him once again, seated on the couch in his small apartment, listening to the beginnings of what would be their number one selling song.

Above all else, you realize that you don’t seem to hate the song as much you claimed to.

That night, you can’t sleep.

You find yourself leaving the venue earlier than everyone else, even when the boys invite you and Dahyun to join them for celebratory drinks, returning to your home in the hopes of forgetting the night altogether. Instead, you stay up tossing and turning, your mind filled with memories consisting of only Jungkook and his haunting voice singing to you, and for you. But at some point during the night nearing one or two in the morning, just when you give up on the idea of sleep, the sound of incessant knocking at your front door rouses you from your trance.

When you finally answer the door, you’re more than surprised to see that Jungkook stands on the other side of the threshold as if coming to you from a dream. But then you register the fact that he’s a complete mess. Dark circles line his weary eyes, now smudged with that faint hint of charcoal liner he had worn for the concert, hair so messily mused beyond repair, and you notice quickly that he’s crying, fresh tears glazing over his pupils and streaking down his face. It’s startling to see him in such shambles, a complete contrast to how effortlessly charming and confident he usually portrays himself. But though you’ve seen him cry before on various occasions, now is all the more unsettling.

“I━I’m sorry.” It’s the first thing he says, screwing his eyes shut tightly as he shakes his head. He fumbles over his words, slurring them together in his rush to get them out. “I know I’m probably the last person you want to see right now, but I needed to see you.”

“Are you drunk?”

“No, no, I swear━” He pries his eyes open to meet your desolate stare, tears unabashedly falling from his lashes. His voice thins with desperation. “You said we need to stop pretending, but I’m not pretending. I never have been. And if you think ━ if you truly believe ━ that there’s nothing here between us anymore… Tell me. Right here, right now. And I’ll leave you alone forever, you’ll never have to see me again. I just━ I’ve missed you every moment and it kills me.”

You’re silent for a long period, pitying gaze sweeping over him, but he doesn’t care if he looks insane. He just needs you to know how he feels.

“Well, how do you think I felt?” You ask the question carefully, but then the memories come flooding back and the semblance of a scowl forms on your face. “You leave and suddenly everywhere I look I see you. Your song is playing everywhere, you and the guys are everywhere, and I’m reminded every day about how we ended. About how you left me.”

Jungkook blinks. He shakes his head stubbornly, the nerves in the corner of his jaw fluttering as he grits his teeth. “You were the one who said we should take a break.”

“A break!” You snap sternly. “Fuck, Jungkook. I didn’t want you out of my life forever. I wanted you to fight for me.”

“No, don’t put this all on me,” Jungkook pleads helplessly. “I have always fought for you. But the minute things got rough, you bailed. You told me you never wanted to see me again. What the hell was I supposed to do?”

“I was scared!” You try to swallow the tears away that start to form as a lump in your throat but to no avail. “I was, and I still am, so fucking scared of losing you. And you━ It felt like you gave me no choice. Like you were over it. I would have wanted to make things work but you left. You just… You left, and suddenly it was like you were never in my life at all. Seven months, and I get no word from you.”

“I fucked up, okay!” He cries out so suddenly, it silences you at once. He bites at his lip, and straightens up half-heartedly, running a hand through his hair. When he meets your stare this time, he’s zealous yet sincere. “I know that I messed up. I know. And it fucking kills me every single day. I don’t know where it went wrong, but it did, and I know it’s all my fault. When you said we should take a break and I agreed, I was only thinking about you. Because I knew I was disappointing you every day, and I was afraid that was all I would ever do, and you don’t deserve that. I thought it would be better this way, if I was just gone from your life for good. But I can’t forget you.”

“How can I trust you?” You ask. When his pained stare gawks at you, you tilt your chin a little higher. “I came by your hotel room yesterday morning, just like you asked, only to see that girl leaving.”

Jungkook’s gawk turns into a dumbfounded expression. He looks weary as he shakes his head, as if struggling to keep up with the way you accuse him now. He tries not to focus on the fact that you actually came to the hotel, then feels inconsolably terrible when he realizes why he never got to see you. “That girl was Namjoon’s fling. We were sharing the suite, and they were in a whole other room. I didn’t even think about her━”

Your stare droops from him, and he knows he’s struggling to keep you on his side.

“Okay, fine. You want trust? I’ll give it to you,” he says. A newfound sense of confidence seems to possess him, though he approaches the topic with extra caution anyway. “After we broke up, I was crushed. I couldn’t move on from you, and the guys thought I should get drunk, find a random girl to bring back to our hotel one night on tour. And I listened, because I wanted to forget you, but it didn’t work. All I could think about was you. Every time she touched me, every time she kissed me, I could only imagine it was you. And when she left that night, I broke down because I felt like such a fucking idiot. I instantly regretted it. Like, even though you and I weren’t together, I still did something to hurt you by sleeping with that girl. And all it did was hurt me too in the process.”

He pushes himself forward, taking a step over the threshold. Even despite him admitting his wrongs to you, you can’t find it in yourself to hate him. Because, at the end of it all, he’s here at your doorstep, pleading for you to forgive him, but he had already won the moment your eyes had landed on him.

“You’re the reason I am who I am today.” His voice is hoarse when he speaks, almost in a whisper. “That I get to do what I love for a living. But all of it means nothing without you. You saw me at my worst, and my best. And you were the best I ever had, and I ruined it, and the worst part of it all is that there’s nothing I can do to make up for it. But I promise I can make it better ━ I can make it right again ━ if you just give me a chance.”

There’s a short pause filled with poignant silence in which Jungkook thinks you’ll push him away or scream at him. He’s fortunate when you do neither; instead, he hears you whisper faintly.

“Kiss me, Jungkook.”

And it’s more than enough for him. His heart thrums in delight as he wastes no time in reaching out for you. His hands are warm as they come to grasp at your face, holding you delicately; then he’s leaning in to you, drawing you closer and closer until his lips are pressed against yours. It’s unadulterated, but not without feverish passion, noses smushing together in both your eager hastiness to close the distance between the two of you. It doesn’t last long either, though that’s partly because Jungkook can taste your tears mingling on your lips, and can feel your faint smile form against his mouth. Kissing him feels both foreign yet familiar at the same time. You know the feel, the taste, and the sense of comfort that comes with it, but months apart from one another has left it feeling different.

Jungkook’s thumb wipes away at the tears on your face. “Why are you crying?”

It’s a useless question, he knows, but he needs something to fill the silence. He’s relieved when he hears you snicker. “Because I miss you, you idiot. And I’m sorry I’ve been acting like such an idiot. I’ve messed everything up.”

His own shoulders quiver with contented mirth. “It’ll be okay.” As he leans in once more for another kiss, you can feel him murmur against your mouth, “I promise I’ll make it up to you.”

“Then make it right,” You say, “right here and now.”

“I’ll do anything for you,” he promises earnestly.

Jungkook understands the underlying yearning in your voice even without having you explain yourself. He knows, if only because he can feel it too. As his hands fall to your waist, fingers digging into your skin, your own arms wrap around his neck and pull him into your apartment. He has you pressed up against the nearest wall within seconds, kissing at your throat, then up to your jawline.

“It’s been so long,” he sighs.

You hum in agreement, though your mind is already spinning, and all you can muster is a weak yet urgent croak of his name. “Jungkook.”

Your fingers thread through his hair, tugging at the roots and he croons with delight. His lips finally meet yours again, only this time he lets his tongue lav at your lower lip. Almost as soon as he does so, you notice something strange. It takes a moment for you to register the small metallic object that grazes your lower lip but when you do, you pull away from the boy.

“What’s wrong?” Jungkook asks in a confused dazed.

“Is that…” You rasp. “Did you get your tongue pierced?”

Suddenly, Jungkook is smirking, one brow shooting up to his hairline in a smug demeanour. He sticks out his tongue for you to see the silver ball poking through and you almost moan at the sight of it as the thought entices you.

“Oh.” Your face warms with a flustered blush. “That’s new.”

“Yeah,” he says. “Always wanted to get it done. Guess I was saving it for the right moment.”

“Right moment, huh?” You scoff as if the implications don’t already have your thighs rubbing together. “Care to explain?”

“I think you’ll find out soon enough.”

You dissolve into a fit of giggles, marvelling at the way Jungkook’s familiar flirtatious bantering can soothe your troubled heart at once. It’s almost as if time hasn’t lapsed between the two of you.

“I’ve missed this,” You sigh. “I’ve missed you, Jungkook.”

You spot him smiling before he’s kissing you again, this time his tongue slipping past your parted lips to meet yours midway. The piercing is strange to adjust to, but you get used to it quickly, humming at the feeling of it against the soft flesh of your tongue. It’s easy to get lost in one another’s lips as you pull and tug at Jungkook, guiding him to your bedroom, nearly tripping and stumbling over one another in the process. He knows the path like the back of his hand, the same way he knows every curve and dimple of your body as his greedy hands explore you. He has you sprawled out beneath him on the bed in a matter of seconds, carelessly shedding each other of your clothes until you’re left naked and he’s without a shirt.

As he’s tugging off the hoodie you’re wearing, he realizes two things abruptly. One: you’re not wearing anything beneath it, your bare body dazzling him at once. And, two: a sudden thought jogs his memory that makes him ponder aloud, “Is this my sweater?”

“Yes,” You admit sheepishly.

He smirks. “Was wondering where it went.”

“You forgot to take it back when…” You don’t finish your sentence. Instead, you tug your fingers at the hair at the nape of his neck, as if scared he’ll leave again. He doesn’t. Instead, he nestles his body between your legs, tonguing patterns on your neck. “I wear it sometimes, especially when I’m missing you. I don’t know… It just━ It still smells like you, even after all this time.”

Jungkook’s heart nearly implodes. He wonders briefly if he’d prefer fucking you without or with the hoodie; but then he’s letting himself time to study your naked body and he deduces he needs to gaze at you in your entirety a little longer.

“Keep talking,” he murmurs. He starts kissing down your body now, starting from your throat to your collarbones, between the valley of your breasts, then your navel. “Tell me more. How badly did you miss me?”

“So badly,” You whimper. Your legs instinctively part to make way for him as he shifts downward, kissing just above your core. A shudder runs down your spine when he kisses the inside of your thigh. “Sometimes I’d put your sweater on and touch myself to the thought of you.”

He grunts against you, teeth softly biting at your flesh. His tongue pokes against your thigh, the metallic piercing a dully cold sensation as he licks upward to your core. He laps at your folds, as if to taste the glistening cum that starts to form.

Your breath audibly hitches in your throat, hips jutting forward to meet his mouth. “I missed your hands, and the way they made me feel. Missed your mouth between my legs. Missed cumming on your tongue, or your fingers.”

Now, you’re starting to understand what he meant by waiting for the right moment to use the piercing to its fullest potential. As he lifts his head higher to tongue at your clit, the piercing makes your head spin. The contrast between his soft tongue and the harsh metal works wonders against you, rubbing you just the right way that has you a moaning mess beneath him within a matter of seconds.

“Fuck━” You cry out, hands twisting in his hair. “My hands never feel the same. You always made me feel so good, Jungkook.”

He hums something in response, the sound reverberating up your spine. He busies himself by replacing his tongue with his finger, rubbing small, controlled circles against your clit as he lowers his mouth to your folds. He teases the piercing against the sensitive flesh before lapping at your insides, burrowing further into you.

“Ooh, Jungkook━”

The noise that eclipses your throat is a piqued sob of delight. The piercing that scratches against your walls has your insides throbbing, body twisting and turning beneath him. You grab at your breasts, fingers pinching at the perked buds as you imagine Jungkook’s hands in replace of yours.

His mouth wraps just right around you and he sucks hard, earning a beautiful moan from you. It doesn’t take long for you to draw closer to your high, sputtering and whimpering at every action he does. Soon he’s burrowing his face even closer against your core, nose nudging against your clit in a way that makes you writhe and squirm. Before he can get carried away (and he certainly could), Jungkook decides to come to a stop which seems to thoroughly surprise and upset you. When you feel his missing warmth between your legs and the sticky wet mess accentuated further by the cool air that hits you, you pout like a child.

“That’s not fair,” you whine.

“Sorry, baby. Need to feel you.” He pulls away from you and crawls over your body once more. He kisses your lips, sloppy and heated, and lets you taste your own succulence on your tongue. “God, I need to feel you so bad.”

You’re just as much startled as you were seconds ago to hear the slight whine in his voice, a sound hot enough to almost push you over the edge.

“I’ve missed you too, just so you know,” he moans, burrowing his face in the crook of your neck. Your fingers continue to scratch delicately at his scalp and he simpers delightfully against you. He ruts his hips eagerly against yours, the bulge in his pants rough against your core. “So fucking much.”

“How much?” Now it’s your turn to ask, your curiosity getting the best of you once you find your voice.

“Every day,” he sighs as he continues to grind his hips into yours. “Get so hard at the thought of you. Your pretty mouth moaning my name. Your hands in my hair, just like this━” You pull a little tighter at the roots of his locks, and he has to stifle his contented moan. “And your body━ Fuck, your body. You take my dick so well, baby.”

“Jungkook,” You mewl impatiently. “Wanna feel you in me.”

“Fuck, okay. Okay━”

He hastens to rid himself of his pants and you help, arms momentarily tangling with one another in your rush. Then he’s kneeling before you, one hand planted firmly on your hip, rings digging roughly against your skin, as his other hand wraps a fist around his hard length, slowly pumping himself. He guides the tip of his leaking cock to your core and pushes himself forward carefully. He easily slips past your folds, coaxed by your slick walls, that he has to pause to give you both time to adjust to the feeling. It’s just as he remembered, though somehow better, and he isn’t so sure how long he’ll last. You don’t know either, marvelling in the way he stretches you open.

“Oh, shit,” he grunts.

He watches as your jaw drops open in a silent gap, your eyes fixed only on his. You grab at his hips, fingers scratching delicately over the laurel tattoos inked there, prompting him to move. He does so in one languid movement, burying deeper and deeper into you until you feel so full and he feels so warm. He fucks into you a little sluggish at first, taking his time and enjoying the way your clenching walls feel around his throbbing cock. It’s a pace so maddening that it soon has the both of you panting, heavy moans filling the space around you. Your own fingers dig into his shoulders, his back, his hips ━ anything to keep a hold on reality as you slowly lose yourself to the pleasure. He reaches for one of your hands, eager to feel you in more ways than one, and laces his digits with yours, pressing your clasped palms above your head. You squeeze tightly, his name falling from your lips in a cry.

“Doing so good,” he mumbles through gritted teeth. “Feel so nice, baby.”

Jungkook grasps at your hips and flips the two of you over. He lands on his back on the soft mattress and you fumble to not break the pace. Firmly planting your hands on his chest, you grind against him, sweat coating your forehead. He watches you with a dark fascination, brows screwed together and jaw clenched as your own cum starts leaking down his length. Not wanting to waste another moment without being beside you, he sits up and shifts you in his lap. Then he pulls you close to him, chest pulled flush against chest to the point where he can feel the rapid beat of your heart against his. You whimper aloud, wrapping your arms tightly around his neck as he guides your hips back and forth on him. There’s little to no space between your gyrating bodies, sweaty skin sticking to one another.

At some point, Jungkook notices you’re crying again, steady tears tangling in your lashes and wetting your face. Despite the way you’re driving him to near euphoria, he brushes your hair out of your face and manages to ask, “What’s wrong? Are you okay? Are you hurt?”

“I’m sorry━ fuck,” You gasp. He can tell you’re genuinely sympathetic for whatever’s making you cry but it’s hard for you to convey it properly when you’re still so consumed by him. “I’m so sorry━ I’m okay. I just━ You feel so good, Jungkook.”

“It’s okay,” he whispers, rubbing tender circles against your waist that contrasts with the fierce burn between your legs. “You’re okay, baby. Doing so well for me, aren’t you? Cum for me, yeah?”

You won’t tell him why you’re crying ━ not yet, at least. But Jungkook thinks he knows why; he can feel it too. The bitter sense of longing and mingling regret for all the time lost. The overwhelming feeling of love of finally being reunited. You continue to roll your hips against his, and he, breathless, rubs his nose faintly against yours, resting his forehead against yours.

It doesn’t take much longer after that for you to come tumbling to you high. He strokes your hair so lovingly as you ride him recklessly, leisure rolls of your hips driving you to your high. When you cum, the feeling completely washes over you and electricity crackles in your veins, warming your entire body. He holds you close to his chest the entire time as you writhe with pleasure, your walls clenching around his cock.

“Fuck, I’m gonna━” His voice splinters off as you busy yourself by sucking a bruise onto the underside of his jaw.

He reaches his high moments later just as you’re beginning to wince at the feeling of oversensitivity. He grunts and groans, spilling his hot seed into you, and then, with his hips slammed against yours, grinds leisurely to ride out your highs.

Then, the room falls silent.

Neither of you move from your warm embrace, with you still perched on his lap, his cock softening inside you as his cum runs down his length and onto your thighs. Your face is hidden in the crook of his neck, and he waits until you’ve both calmed down from your orgasms. You’re running your fingers through his sweaty hair, but he knows you’re still sad. He kisses you all over in the meantime, a few ticklish kisses that make you smile sleepily and a few loving ones that have your heart swelling. Then, he gingerly shifts your head to look at him.

“Why were you crying?” he asks silently.

It takes you a moment to respond. You cling to him tightly when you do and all he can do is cradle you closer to him. “I don’t want this to be some kind of drunken one night stand thing. Like we both needed one last fuck to get over each other, or something."

“You mean more to me than a one night stand,” Jungkook says and it makes you smile smally, a little timidly. 

“That’s good,” You say, “because I’m not over you or us. I want us to work out. I love you too much to lose you again, and I’m scared this might be the last time I’ll ever see you.”

“I’m not letting that happen,” Jungkook shakes his head furiously. “I’d be an absolute idiot to let that happen. You won’t lose me. I’m not going anywhere this time. You’re my priority, Y/N. You always have been. Not the band and definitely not the record label.”

“I’m sure the boys will love to hear that,” You snort to yourself.

“Yeah, well, I’m sure they’ll understand,” Jungkook grins. But you’re only joking, and you know he sort of is too. That’s not to say the band isn’t still important to him, but you take precedent over it. “Without you, I wouldn’t even have the chance to be where I am now.”

You nuzzle your nose against his own, and he steals one sweet kiss from you. 

“Do you really mean all that?”

“With my whole heart.”

And, when he says it, you know he means it. There’s no reason not to trust him.

You’ll both move eventually from one another’s arms, soft touches from Jungkook peeling you off of him and wrapping you in your covers before falling asleep beside you, and waking up in the morning with you in his arms. But, for now, it’s just you and him, a little broken still yet all the more in love.

While you both know healing a broken heart will take time, you’re both prepared for it because you’re both worth it to one another ━ and that’s all either of you really need in the end to make it right.

⟶ All rights reserved to © jungkxook. I do not allow reposting, translating, or any sort of modifying and reuploading of my work. 

⟶ Feedback is always appreciated!

[natsfirecat]

Cold

summary: r has always liked having pyrokinesis, but after getting into trouble, she leans onto natasha for support (i’m sorry that is an awful summary fhjkdsf)

Part Two

pairing: Natasha Romanoff x fem reader

word count: 5k

warnings: swearing, needles, kidnapping, mentions of arson, lmk if i need to add any more!

A/N: this is gonna have multiple parts btw! i’m planning on 3 parts, but it could be more than that haha. also, since i’ve written a lot of pyrokinetic reader x natasha, feel free to imagine this taking place in any of those universes. preferably not the operation fire widow/bring you back universe. nat and r have been through enough there- but i imagine it in the you saved me universe!

You huffed out a sigh as you took in your surroundings. It was completely dark except for the small, irritating light in the corner. There was a pain in your arm, you felt a poke, and assumed it was an IV. 

You tried to use your powers to get out of here, you tried to create a light, you tried to burn the ropes holding you to the chair, but nothing worked. Probably a result of the IV.

You were here because of a stupid decision you thought was right at the time. 

You were fighting in the middle of the city, HYDRA decided that they wanted to make a scene. Mid-battle, you noticed a HYDRA agent carrying a child who was screaming and thrashing. No one else seemed to notice, they were all busy fighting. 

You couldn’t ignore it, you couldn’t let them take a child. So, you made a large blast of fire, hoping that would prevent anyone else from following and attacking you as you went after the kid. 

Looking back now, you should’ve at least gone on coms and told the team what you were doing. But you weren’t thinking straight at the moment. You just kept running until you reached them.

It wasn’t like you could send fire at them like you had before; you couldn’t risk hitting the kid.

So there you stood, coming up from behind to knock him down. 

As soon as you lay a hand on him however, you let out a gasp of pain as something sharp poked your neck. 

As your vision began to fade, you looked down to see the child staring at you with a guilty expression as he held the syringe. 

You fell to your knees, hearing nothing but laughter from the man.

That was two days ago. And that was what got you into this situation. You weren’t sure if anyone even saw you go after him, so for all they knew you just disappeared out of the blue. 

Guilt began to consume you as you thought about your girlfriend, Natasha. 

She knew you were strong and could look out for yourself, but that didn’t stop her from completely freaking out every time you were injured. You could only imagine what was going through her mind now.

-

At the compound, Natasha began pacing back and forth around the living room. Everyone was seated there, wanting to talk about the mission and your disappearance.

“How could none of us have seen her?” She asked, making eye contact with each and every one of her teammates.

“Where could she have gone?”

“Who took her?”

Before she could talk any more, Clint stood up and put his arms around her to stop her from pacing.

“We’re gonna find her, Nat,”

She let out a defeated sigh, collapsing onto her friend.

“I’ve got satellites looking, FRIDAY is hacking into every street camera, we will find her,” Tony assured her, standing up. 

She managed to give him a nod before leaving and making her way back up to her bedroom she shared with you.

Once the door closed, she collapsed onto the bed, clinging onto your pillow as tight as she could.

She had spent two nights without you by your side, she had barely gotten any sleep. 

She missed the feeling of wrapping her arms around you while you clung onto her like a koala. She missed waking up next to you, placing a few kisses on your forehead. 

She just missed you.

Of course, you had spent nights away from each other on missions and stuff. But this time, she had no idea where you were and when she would be waking up with you again. That just made everything worse.

One of the perks of having a pyrokinetic girlfriend was that she was never cold anymore. Sometimes you would hold your hands over hers, using your powers to warm them up. Or sometimes she would cup your cheeks to gather up the heat you were radiating. If she was really cold, you would wrap your arms around you as she would completely bury herself in you. Even after she was warmed up, it would usually just turn into a cuddle session of holding one another close. 

She hugged the pillow even tighter, so desperately wishing it was you. She didn’t even realize she was crying until she noticed how wet the pillow was. 

Letting out a long sigh, Natasha pulled all the blankets she had gathered over her, flipping the pillow over.

No matter how many blankets she had, none of them were able to give her the warmth you had.

Without you, she was just cold.

-

Another day passed before something finally changed. The lights were turned on, and you were given more water than before, and you were actually given some food. 

You noticed the person walking in was the boy you were trying to save, but ended up stabbing you with the needle.

“Hello,” he said, placing the food tray down next to you.

“Hi,” you replied flatly.

As he headed for the door again, he made eye contact. Your heart dropped at how apologetic he looked.

“What’s your name?” You asked.

“Henry,”

“What’s a boy like you doing here, Henry?”

He shrugged before turning back and taking a few steps closer to you.

“It’s just the life of someone who’s dad is big in HYDRA and decided to get full custody after killing your mom,”

Your heart dropped, this boy couldn’t have been more than 10 and he had already lost so much. 

“I’m sorry,” you told him.

“Why? It’s not like you killed her,”

You sighed before noticing the sadness in his eyes and the tears threatening to fall. 

“Do you want to talk about her?” You offered. He thought for a moment,

“Maybe, but I can’t right now, I have to leave. But I’ll come back tomorrow,”

“Okay, bye Henry.”

“Bye!”

-

As promised, he did arrive the next day. He came in with a smile on his face before setting your food down.

“Hello!”

“Hi,”

You reached out to grab food, but winced as you moved your arm, remembering the needle in your arm. So you reached over with your other hand instead.

“Do you know what the heck they’re putting in me?”

He shakes his head no,

“It takes away your powers, but that’s all I know. I did hear someone say that they plan on changing the needle tomorrow,”

“So what other stuff do you hear?”

“It’s just bits and pieces,”

You let out a sigh as he reached up to grab some of your food. You held your good hand up to stop him.

“Kid, I’m the hostage here. I know you’re getting fed better than me. So unless you plan on giving me some of your food in exchange, hands off,”

Henry sighed, then pulled his hand back and sat down again. 

“What’s it like?” He asked after a few moments of silence.

“What’s what like?”

“Everything. Being an Avenger, having powers, fighting people,”

You laughed at his excitement,

“Being an Avenger has its perks, it’s always nice saving the world every once in a while. The powers are nice too. I remember the first time I made fire appear in thin air, it was one of the best feelings in the world. I can make myself really warm, which works out perfect for Nat-” you stopped yourself as you thought about her.

Your face fell, thinking about your girlfriend and how much you missed her. 

He turned his head to the side at your expression. 

“Why are you sad?” He asked. “Do you miss your powers?”

“Yeah,” you answered quickly. “I just miss my pyrokinesis. Whatever you’ve got in here is really effective,”

“They’re still gonna make you go to sleep tomorrow, in case your powers come back when they change the needle. Why do they change needles anyway?”

“To prevent infections,”

“Oh,”

He sat there criss-crossed, holding his hands in his lap while moving his thumbs around. You noticed that he looked slightly happier today compared to yesterday. 

“Who’s your favorite Avenger?” He asked. 

“Black Widow,”

“Why? She doesn’t have any powers! She just fights,”

“Exactly. She’s just as important to the team as the rest of us without powers, that just makes her even more impressive. She holds us together, we would be lost without her,”

He gave you a mischievous smile as he observed the way you talked about her.

“Do you have a crush on Black Widow?”

You scoffed at the young boy. There was no way in hell you would be discussing your relationship status with him.

“What about you, Kid? Who’s your favorite Avenger?”

“Spider-Man. He’s so cool how he swings across buildings! And he has super strength!”

You smiled at him. You would most definitely be telling Peter about his young fan. 

“He’s pretty cool,”

He smiled for a few moments, before turning back around and facing the door.

“I should probably go,” he said, his voice dropping. “I don’t want him to find out. I’ll come by again after they change the needle!”

“Alright,” you said. You were sad he was leaving, you had been enjoying his company, but you completely understood his worries. 

He waved goodbye, then left the room feeling better than he had when he walked in. He would be back soon to talk with his new friend.

-

“I’ve got her!” Tony said as he stood up from his desk. “I know where she is!”

“I’ll get everyone ready,” Steve replied, leaving to make the announcement.

Natasha changed into her suit faster than she ever had before. Now that they knew where you were, she wanted to get to you as fast as they possibly could.

So she was the first to meet Steve and Tony outside the Quinjet. 

Her expression was emotionless, but they both knew she had so many thoughts and feelings running through her mind right now.

Wanda was the next one out, taking her spot in between Steve and Natasha. She was almost as nervous as Natasha.

Soon enough, the rest of the Avengers all made their way down and were ready to go.

Clint had to physically restrain Natasha to stop her from pacing mid-flight. He knew she was scared, but what she was doing wasn’t helping. 

She made eye contact with Wanda, then felt a few tears threatening to form. She took a deep breath in, then restrained her tears.

She finally let out the breath as she felt her best friend hug her. 

It would be okay eventually, but for now all that mattered was getting you back. 

-

“What’s that noise?” You asked, jerking up. 

“I’m not sure,” Henry said, looking up too.

As soon as the others left your room, he ran in and stayed by your side until you woke up. He was hoping for another day of fun conversations, but he had a feeling that wouldn’t be happening now. 

“You should get out of here, don’t let them catch you like this,”

He thought for a moment, then looked back out the door. An alarm went off, and he recognized the signal it was sending.

“Your friends are here for you,”

You let out a sigh of relief. 

“Do me a favor and pull the needle out? It’ll be better to have it out sooner now that they’re here,”

He hesitantly held his hand over the needle, his breath hitched as soon as he touched your arm.

“You can do it, Henry. Just pull it out as fast as you can,”

His breaths became shaky as he grabbed the tip of the needle.

“I’ll count down for you,” you said as he nodded. “One… two… three!”

Just as he pulled it out, he let out a scream at the sound of a gunshot from right outside the room.

The door opened, and there stood Natasha.

She no longer had the glow in her eyes, or the softness on her face she normally had around you. In fact, you would be terrified of her if she wasn’t here to save you.

Your face fell as you saw she still had her gun raised.

“Don’t hurt him!” You yelled, holding your hand out protectively over him.

She said nothing, but walked over to you, wrapping her arms around you while holding you up.

She brought a hand to your cheek, stroking it gently for a moment while keeping her other arm around your back.

You leaned forward, then rested your forehead against hers as she held you.

“Uh, guys,” Henry interrupted your moment. “You should probably get out of here,”

You nodded, then looked out the door Natasha came from.

“I’ll buy you some time!” He offered.

You thought for a minute, your gaze shifting between him and Natasha.

“I’ll come back for you,” you told him. “Be careful!”

“Don’t worry about me! Just go!”

You nodded, then completely leaned onto Natasha. Your arm was still sore, and your legs could barely hold you considering you had hardly moved them for a few days.

Luckily for you, your assassin girlfriend was really strong and had no problem picking you up and carrying you as you wrapped yourself around her.

She was easily able to run through the halls, holding you with one hand and holding her gun with the other. 

You buried your face in her neck, wanting to hide from everything going on around you. She heard you whimper, then tightened her grip on you. 

It felt like it had taken forever, but eventually you were outside again. You finally opened your eyes when you heard the familiar sound of the Quinjet engine. 

Natasha never left your side, keeping an arm wrapped around you as she set you down.

It had only taken a few minutes for everyone else to get back after Natasha told them she had you, taking out a few HYDRA agents along the way. 

Steve’s gaze softened when he saw the state you were in. He was about to say something before Natasha met him with a harsh glare. You needed to rest after what just happened. 

“It’s okay, baby,” she whispered to you, finally letting her softness return. “You can rest now. You’re okay.”

-

When you opened your eyes again, you were in a hospital bed back at the compound. Natasha sat in the chair next to you, one hand over yours while the other was holding her head up as she slept. 

On the other side, Bruce and Dr. Cho were talking to each other about your condition.

“Y/N,” Dr. Cho said as she met your eyes.

Her voice woke Natasha up, who immediately gave your hand a gentle squeeze.

You turned to face your girlfriend, extending both arms out to her.

“Lay with me,”

Natasha looked at the two doctors, as if asking for permission. Once they told her it was fine, she pulled the sheets down and crawled next to you. She began to completely drown their voices out as she ran her fingers up and down your arm, drawing small patterns on your shoulder. Ever so often, she would lean forward and plant a kiss on the back of your neck.

“How long was I out?” You asked.

“Almost 24 hours. The stress of the situation, plus what they were putting in you definitely called for rest.”

“So, am I gonna be okay?”

“Yes,” Bruce said. “However, we’re looking into what they were injecting you with. It definitely had to do with your powers, so it’s best if you don’t use them for a few days.”

You nodded, then turned back around to face Natasha.

“You’re cold,” she said as you wrapped your arms around her. “That’s a first,”

“Don’t worry,” Bruce assured both of you. “You’ll be warm and pyrokinetic again in no time.”

Later that evening, you were on Natasha’s lap with a blanket covering both of you. She hadn’t left your side the entire day, apart from when you needed to use the bathroom. Even then, she stood right outside the door waiting for you to come back out.

“Natty,” you said to her. She removed her lips from your neck, then planted a kiss on your cheek instead. She hummed, waiting for your response as she continued littering kisses all over your face.

“I don’t want to go back there,”

“You don’t have to. You never do,”

“Yes I do. I promised Henry I would come back for him.”

“The same boy who shoved a syringe in your neck?” She said, eyebrows raised. “Tony was able to get footage,”

You sighed as she kissed your neck once again.

“It’s a lot more complicated than that,” you began. “He told me all about how his dad is a big part of HYDRA, and he killed his mom.”

“Y/N, I love you, but you have to know that there’s a high chance he was lying about all that.”

“Then why would he tell us that he’d buy us time when he left?”

“Probably just saying whatever it took for me not to kill him. It’s awful, but he was probably recruited at such a young age so they use that to their advantage.”

“Oh come on, Natty,” you said. You turned around and straddled her waist so you could face her. “Shouldn’t you have more sympathy for him? Especially considering where you were at his age,”

She thought for a moment, then pulled the blanket up closer. 

“Maybe I’m a little biased because he’s part of the reason you were taken,”

You sighed, then leaned forward and rested your head on her chest. You’d get through to her eventually, but for now all you wanted to do was lay in her arms.

-

You huffed out a sigh as you pushed all the blankets off of you. That was something you definitely hadn’t gotten used to, and you couldn’t wait to take them all off the bed.

Natasha chuckled at your frustration, then sat up and smiled at you.

“Good morning, detka,” 

You grumbled again, but couldn’t help but smile at the way your girlfriend was looking at you. 

“It’s been three days of this shit,” you said as you sat up. “As soon as we go to Bruce today and get cleared, I will burn some of these. God, you have no idea how much I’ve missed setting things on fire,”

She laughed, then tucked a strand of hair behind your ear.

“So my sweet little girlfriend just wants to go commit arson? Tell me again why you’re an Avenger?”

“You know what I meant!”

She laughed again, which prompted you to throw a pillow at her. 

“You’re gonna regret that, detka,”

“Will I?”

She stared at you for a few moments, a mischievous smile on her face as you smirked at her.

You let out a squeal as she suddenly pounced at you, knocking you back down. She placed several kisses on your face, but her hands also found their way under your shirt and onto your stomach. 

You let out another squeal as she began ticking you, moving her hands up and down as you began to let out uncontrollable laughter.

“Natty, stop!” You begged between giggles. 

She stopped for a moment, still smiling at you.

“Are you gonna throw a pillow at me again?”

You hesitated for a moment, and that was enough for her to move her hands again. 

You nearly screamed as she continued tickling you. This only made her smile more.

“How about now?” She asked. “Will you throw a pillow at me again?”

“No! I promise!”

She seemed satisfied, then removed her hands from your body as she gave your forehead a quick kiss.

“Let’s go get ready for your checkup,” she said, then smiled again. “And then my baby can get back her ability to commit arson with her mind,”

You rolled your eyes, but followed her out of bed. 

After getting changed, you held her hand as you made your way back to medical. You couldn’t help but feel nervous and anxious the entire walk there.

Bruce was waiting for you as you sat on the exam table. Natasha stayed standing, but kept her hand attached to yours.

“We’re gonna need to take a blood sample,” he told you. 

You nodded, but squeezed Natasha’s hand tighter. You had always hated needles, and your previous experience definitely didn’t help. 

As he inserted the needle in your arm, you closed your eyes and kept your tight hold on your girlfriend’s hand.

She hated seeing you like this. She hated that you even had to go through this in the first place. 

Her hand was beginning to hurt from the amount of force you were squeezing her, but she didn’t flinch at all. She just kept her eyes on you, making sure you were okay as Bruce got the blood sample he needed.

When he took the needle out and put a bandage on your arm, you finally opened your eyes again.

You didn’t even realize you had tears in your eyes until you saw how blurry your vision was. You tried to blink the tears away before anyone would notice, but you were too late. 

Natasha gave you a solemn look before bringing her other hand up to your face. She used her thumb to wipe the tears away, keeping her other hand attached to your own. 

She then sat next to you on the table, and wrapped an arm around you as you leaned into her. She reached her hand behind you, then gently stroked your hair as she held you close. 

“So will I get to use my powers again?” You asked Bruce. 

“We’ll find out in about five minutes,”

You nodded, then leaned further into your girlfriend. 

“How’s your arm feeling?” She asked as she continued stroking your hair. 

“Hurts,” you admitted with a light laugh. “Not too bad though, not as bad as the HYDRA needle. God that one burned.”

You looked up at her, then nuzzled your head in the space between her neck and shoulder.

“I can’t wait to be your personal human heater again,” you told her. 

She smiled, kissing the top of your head. 

“I’ve just been glad to have you back, detka, but I’m also looking forward to being warmed up by you,”

Bruce smiled at the two of you, but his face fell as the results appeared on the computer. 

“There’s still traces of what they put in your bloodstream,” he said. “Until it’s gone, you won’t be able to use your powers. I’m sorry, Y/N. We can check it again next week,”

Your heart dropped. You held your hands in your lap, looking down at them. You thought about all the times you made flames appear just from your palms. Now, you weren’t sure when you’d be able to do it again.

Natasha met your eyes, a neutral expression on her face. She was also sad about your powers, but she didn’t want to bring your spirits down even more. So, she interlaced her fingers with yours.

“Okay, so maybe a few more nights with blankets,” she said softly. “Then I get my favorite blanket back,”

You sighed, then stood up, keeping your fingers interlaced with hers.

You thanked Bruce, then walked out and went to the kitchen. 

One of the perks of having pyrokinesis was that it made cooking easier. Sometimes you would just heat up the food in your hand, or hold the pan until everything cooked. It took awhile to figure out how to get it right, resulting in accidentally setting the fire alarm off multiple times as you burned food to a crisp. But eventually you were able to get your powers to work as your own oven and microwave.

Now that you couldn’t do that, you chose cereal instead. As you swallowed your first bite, you shivered as the cold milk went down your throat. 

“I hate being cold,” you grumbled as you wrapped your arms around yourself. 

Natasha smiled sadly, then brought your non-dominant hand to her mouth as you kept eating. She placed lengthy, but soft kisses on the back of it.

“I can keep you warm now,”

You smiled at the gesture, then let out a small chuckle.

“Natty, I love you, but we both know you’re way too cold on your own to warm someone up,”

She rolled her eyes.

“I could totally warm you up,”

“Please, you’re literally an iceberg. Why do you think we go so well together?”

She laughed, then kissed your hand again.

“Well right now we’re both icebergs. I think we can keep each other warm if we stay close, y’know, sharing body heat,”

You sighed, then leaned forward before kissing her.

You intended for it to be a quick, short kiss. But she had other plans. 

She ran her tongue along your bottom lip, grinning as you allowed her entrance. Once you did, she grabbed your hips and pulled you onto her lap. 

“See?” She said with a grin. “You’re warmer already,”

“You’re right,” you said, cupping her cheeks. “We should keep each other warm more often,”

She smiled, then kissed you again. You deepened the kiss this time, keeping one hand on her cheek and wrapped the other around her neck. 

“That cereal is pretty good,” she said between kisses.

You laughed, then reconnected your lips. You stayed in her embrace, kissing her, for what was far too short in your opinion. You only stopped when you heard someone clear their throat from behind you.

You turned around to see Clint getting his own food.

“So what’s the news on your powers?” He asked. “Do we need to have fire extinguishers at the ready?”

Natasha glared at her friend, tightening her grip on you. He got his answer as soon as he saw her glare and noticed the way your face dropped. 

“I’m sorry,” he said. He was going to say something else, but decided not to as Natasha kept her glare. So he waved a short goodbye, then left.

“Can we just go back to our room?” You asked.

“Of course,”

After putting your bowl away, you followed your girlfriend back upstairs, fully intending on staying in bed all day.

You glared at the blankets, but reluctantly pulled them over you. 

You felt a little better once Natasha pulled you into her arms once again. You leaned back into her, holding onto her hands that lay around you.

“I love you,”

“I love you too,”

“I’m going to get my powers back,”

“Just focus on resting up for now, okay, detka?”

“Okay.”

-

A week later, you woke up ready to see Bruce again. You had been counting down the days, desperate to get your powers back.

Natasha gave a hesitant smile as you greeted her with a good morning kiss. She wanted you to get your powers back too, but she didn’t want you to be let down after your hopes had been so high. 

Of course, she did miss using you as a personal heater. But even more than that, she missed seeing the smile on your face as you would control the flames emitting from you. She missed the satisfied smirk you would give whenever you knocked down someone you were fighting with fire. She missed how you would squeal excitedly after your powers helped you successfully cook something.

You were practically bouncing in your steps as you walked down to Bruce. While you dreaded the needle from the blood sample, you tried not to focus on that. Instead, you focused on how amazing it would feel to make fire again.

You still held on tight to your girlfriend’s hand as the needle pricked your skin. She ran her thumb over the back of your hand as you let out a small whimper. 

Everyone in the room seemed to be holding their breath as the computer analyzed your blood. 

Natasha was almost as nervous as you. Her breath hitched when Bruce said the results were coming in. 

His eyes lit up as he read them.

“Your bloodstream is clean, Y/N,”

You smiled, then hugged Natasha out of happiness. 

He smiled at you, then you thanked him, still bouncing in your step.

“Alright, let’s go outside. I want this flame to be good,”

Natasha nodded, keeping her hand connected to yours as you led her out. Bruce decided to follow, just in case there was something he missed. 

Your smile grew even wider as you stood in front of the compound. 

Taking a deep breath, you gave both yourself and your girlfriend a reassuring nod.

You took a step away, then flicked your wrist. 

Nothing.

“What the fuck?”

You flicked it again. Still nothing.

Again. Nothing.

You flicked your other wrist, desperate to see the smoke rising from your palm. Once again, nothing.

“No,” you said, dropping to your knees. “Why don’t I have my powers?”

Natasha was by your side in a split second, putting an arm on your shoulder.

“I thought you said my bloodstream was clean!” You said to Bruce, feeling tears swell in your eyes. 

“It is,” he said softly. “I’m so sorry, Y/N, but if you still don’t have your powers even after it’s out of your system, then that means whatever they did to you took your powers. Unless there’s an antidote, they’re not coming back,”

You let out a sob, completely wrapping yourself around Natasha. Bruce took that as his cue to leave, walking back inside as you continued crying in your girlfriend’s arms.

“What do I do, Natty?” You said, your voice breaking. 

Her heart broke for you. She said nothing, but kept her hold.

“These powers, these abilities, controlling fire has been a part of me for such a long time,” you said as a few more tears fell. “And now… I’m just cold.”

[narutogwriting]

Ruin the Friendship

⋇✦ Pairing: Naruto Uzumaki x Reader

⋇✦ Genre: angst; fluff; oneshot

⋇✦ CW: none

⋇✦ Length: 2.5k+

⋇✦ @gaarasandpit just a angst/fluff naruto x reader request if you’re up for it 🥰 maybe where the reader and him are somewhat close friends and he notices she’s drifting from him because her feelings get in the way? he’s oblivious and hurt about it then confrontation happens ending up in a good old love confession

“Cmon! Open up!” Naruto called from outside your house, pounding on the door like he had been incessantly for the past five minutes. “I know you’re in there!”

He did not, in fact, know whether or not you were in there, but he couldn’t imagine where else you would be.

All week you’d been missing; Naruto couldn’t find you anywhere. Sometimes he would see the flick of your hair from the corner of his eye or his ears would pick up the sound of your laugh, but by the time he turned to find you, you’d be gone.

Your absence in Naruto’s life wasn’t something of a minor inconvenience; it was a constant pain, as if he was missing a part of his own body. Iruka had joked that Naruto missing you was akin to that of a phantom limb, like there was something of him that should be there and it wasn’t and he ached because of it.

“No, Naruto. We haven’t seen her,” Shikamaru shrugged. Ino nodded her agreement.

“Sorry. Maybe she’s on a mission or something.

Naruto frowned, sighing in frustration. “Alright, well, thanks.” He muttered before he sulked off. Shikamaru and Ino watched him go, waiting until he disappeared before Ino gave you a kick under the table.

“Ow!” you whined as you crawled out from underneath, rubbing your shoulder.

Ino rolled her eyes at you. “You’re lucky Naruto’s an idiot, or he definitely would have seen you.” She told you as you slid yourself down into the seat next to her. “Remind me: why are you avoiding him again?”

Propping your elbows on the table, you rested your head in your hands as you gave a forlorn sigh. That was a loaded question. You were avoiding Naruto because the absolute worse thing that could ever occur had happened.

You’d fallen in love with the idiot blond.

And how could you not? You’d been best friends with Naruto for the longest time. He was a constant in your life, always at your side. It was rare that one of you was seen without the other.

There was no one in the entire world that could make you smile or laugh the way that he could. Whenever you were sad or hurt, he always had the words to make it all better. Naruto had the type of smile that could save people, and you were no exception. There wasn’t a person in the world that could meet someone with a heart like Naruto’s and not walk away changed.

It had been a slow thing, a soft, unsure growing. It wasn’t a feeling you’d recognized at all once, because you always loved Naruto.

It wasn’t totally strange for you to get excited when you saw him or miss him when he was gone. It wasn’t unusual to think about him before you went to sleep.

But when you began to wake up and your first thought was, “my god he’s beautiful” when you looked at the picture of the two of you on your night stand, that was a little strange. You never used to spend extra time in the morning doing your makeup when you knew you were going to see him soon.

And you never used to blush when he smiled at you. Even you could tell you laughed a little too hard when he said something even remotely funny.

It was one day when the two of you were taking a walk that it happened. He was telling you a story, his motions large and exaggerated. Of course, he wasn’t paying attention to where he was going. As he turned to you, arms raised high over his head, his foot hit a rock. Naruto went sprawling to the floor, rolling across the ground and landing flat on his back.

You burst out laughing at the scene, hurrying to kneel at his side. “Are you okay!?” You asked him between giggles.

Naruto’s face was bright red with embarrassment as he laid on the floor. He looked up at you, smiling sheepishly. “Oops…”

It was such a simple thing, but you’d looked at Naruto and thought, “I love him so much.”

Nothing had ever startled you more.

Of course you loved Naruto; that was a given. It was never anything that needed to be thought or said. It was just a fact. But as soon as you had thought the words, you knew that it was different this time. You didn’t just love Naruto.

You were in love with him.

You’d hoped that the feelings would fade. Maybe it was just a fluke or a passing crush. Day in and day out, you waited for your feelings to go back to normal, but now that you’d acknowledged them, they only seemed to grow stronger. It got to the point where you couldn’t even look at naruto without turning into a blushing mess. It was pathetic.

So you’d decided there was only one reasonable solution: you would have to avoid him for as long as it took for the feelings to go away.

And of course you didn’t want to stay away from him. Being with him was as natural as breathing. But the way you saw it, if he found out about your feelings, your friendship could be ruined forever. This way, you could take some space, move on, and resume your friendship like nothing happened.

But Naruto wasn’t making that easy.

You hadn’t realized just how much time you and Naruto spent together until you were trying to distance yourself from him. He was everywhere. Every meal, every free moment, he was by your side or trying to be at least.

“Wanna go eat?” “Wanna go train with me?” “Let’s watch a movie!” “I heard there’s gonna be a festival in the next town over!”

You couldn’t get away from him. So this past week, you’d taken to hiding from him every time you saw him, deciding it was easiest to just avoid him completely. In all honesty, you couldn’t believe just how much time and effort Naruto was putting in to trying to find you.

But of course he was putting in effort. Because you were his best friend and he couldn’t understand it; where you’d gone or why you weren’t talking to him. Had he done something wrong? Were you mad at him or something? Your absence in Naruto’s life was drawing out every insecurity he hadn’t even realized he still had. He was worried, drowning in anxiety.

What if you’d decided you didn’t want to be his friend anymore? Maybe you were annoyed with him, found him to be too much. When you and Naruto had first become friends, he thought it was too good to be true. There was no way that someone as nice and pretty and cool as you would want to be friends with him. No one had ever wanted to be his friend before.

But there you were with your sweet smile and calming presence. You had accepted Naruto, every piece of him, without question or reservation. You meant everything to him, so the thought of losing you had sent Naruto into a panic.

You’d managed to avoid Naruto for a full week and a half. The past three days, as far as you knew, he hadn’t even made an effort to find you. It was a relief and heartbreaking all at once. You needed your space, but it hurt to think that maybe Naruto didn’t miss you at all anymore.

These were the thoughts racing through your head when you crawled into bed that night. You doubted you’d be getting much sleep; you’d barely gotten any since you had started avoiding Naruto.

Pulling the covers over yourself, you closed your eyes and tried to get comfortable. It seemed like hours you laid there awake before tiredness finally started to drift over you. You could feel yourself slowly dozing off to sleep when a sudden loud noise startled you awake. Sitting up quickly, your eyes darted to the window where the noise had come from.

Naruto had forcefully pried open the window, shoving himself not-so-gracefully through the opening and crashing onto the floor.

He quickly jumped to his feet, rubbing his head with a small wince before his eyes landed on you, widening slightly.

“Ah ha! I got you!” He shouted victoriously, pointing his finger in your direction. “You can’t hide from me anymore, believe it!”

God, he was too cute for words and that was exactly the problem. Your heart practically burst just looking at him as he appeared so accomplished and excited.

But the triumphant look on his face slowly vanished as he stared at you. When he spoke, his voice came out quietly, dripping with dejection. “Where have you been?”

Quietness settled over the room as the two of you stared at each other. Naruto made no move to get closer to you, and you likewise stayed strapped in your seat. “I’m sorry…” You offered weakly, unsure of what else to say.

“Don’t be sorry!” Naruto snapped, anger quickly replacing his despaired features. “Tell me why! What the hell? You think you can just avoid a guy? Cut me off like I’m nothing to you!?” He was trembling, his usual happy grin twisted into a broken grimace so despondent it took you off guard. You had caused that hurt that Naruto was feeling. The thought made you sick.

“If you don’t want to be my friend anymore, at least say something!” Naruto spat. “Don’t just run from me like a coward! If you have something to say, say it to my face!”

There was a harsh edge to Naruto’s voice that he never used with you before. Not in all of your years of friendship. You realized suddenly just how badly you’d hurt Naruto by avoiding him. It wasn’t something you’d considered; you’d only wanted some space so you could get back to normal with him.

But you saw it clearly now, the damage that you had done. Suddenly, in this moment, he was the lonely, isolated child that he had been before you met, feeling alone and abandoned in the world. And this time, it was because of you.

The regret was like bile on your tongue, and you wished fiercely that you could take back the past week and do it differently. You couldn’t stand the thought that it was you who had caused this damage to your best friend, the guy you loved so much.

You didn’t have any words to fix it. All you had was the truth.

“I love you.”

The words slipped from your mouth before you could pull them back in. And once they were out, they couldn’t be taken back.

Confusion quickly settled on Naruto’s face. It was as if you could see the anger dissipate from his body. He stared at you, mouth slightly agape, while he tried to process what you’d just said. “You… What?”

Turning bright red, you pulled the blanket back over your head in embarrassment. You couldn’t believe you’d just said that! Now there would never be any going back to the way that things were, but you had to tell him. You couldn’t just let him think that you were cutting him off without reason.

“I said I love you…” You muttered from under the blanket. “I’m in love with you, Naruto. I have been for a while now, and I didn’t want to ruin our friendship. So I thought if I just took some space and didn’t see you for a while, then maybe I would get over it, and then we could just keep things the way they were…”

It was much easier to get the words out when you were under the blanket and couldn’t see him, but you were still nauseous with anxiety as you told him how you felt. Your heart was steeling itself for rejection as you waited for his response.

The only noise was shuffling as Naruto came to your bed. You could feel the indent as he sat down next to you. He grabbed your blanket, slowly peeling it off of you and despite your reluctance, you let him.

You didn’t look at him as you pushed yourself back up into a sitting position. You’d never been so embarrassed before.

“Did it work?” He asked you quietly.

Fidgeting with the hem of your night shirt, you mumbled, “Did what work?”

“Are you over me?”

The question took you off guard, lingering between the two of you, and you couldn’t help but flicker your eyes to his. He was staring earnestly at you with those wide blue eyes you loved so much. You wanted to lie to him but you just couldn’t.

“No.”

Naruto’s focused expression stretched into a wide grin as he wrapped his arms around you, hugging you to him. You were too startled to respond, so you just stared at him, confused, instead.

“You scared me!” Naruto laughed happily as he rested his cheek against your head. “I thought you didn’t want to be my friend anymore! You didn’t have to completely avoid me, ya know.”

There was a mix of relief and disappointment at his reaction. So, he wasn’t weirded out about your confession? Things didn’t have to change. The two of you could stay ‘just friends.’

“So, we’re okay?” You asked him nervously. “We’re still friends?”

Naruto gave a puzzled hum as he pulled away from the hug to stare at you. He raised his eyebrow as he studied you for a moment. You could almost see the light bulb go off above his head as he realized.

“Oh!” He laughed, grinning sheepishly and rubbing his neck. “I guess I forgot to tell you it back, huh? I thought it was obvious! I love you too, believe it!”

You blinked as he giggled embarrassedly, that signature smile of his on his lips. “Naruto!” You snapped at him, lunging and knocking you both off the bed. He landed on his back with you on top of him as you rubbed your fist into his head. “You dummy!”

“Hey! Cut it out!” Naruto whined, squirming under your touch. “Is that any way to treat your boyfriend!?”

The question was enough to make you stop, your mouth frozen in a surprised “o” shape, just like he hoped. He laughed, sitting up and holding you to him before he placed a happy kiss to your cheek, making your face flush over red.

You placed your hands on his shoulders, looking at him as it finally sunk in what he said. He loved you too. He called himself your boyfriend. “Is that your way of asking me?” You questioned.

Naruto nodded earnestly. “And my way to get you to stop giving me a noogie! It’s a win win! Well, if you say yes, that is…”

Shaking your head, you laughed as your whole body softened in relief. Your arms slipped around his neck as you hugged him tightly. “Yes, obviously!” You told him. “Yes! I love you.” Naruto hugged you back just as fiercely. When he finally pulled away, he didn’t hesitate. His hand reached up to cup your cheek as he leaned forward, pressing a sweet, soft kiss to your lips.

Well, you guessed your friendship was officially ruined. But suddenly, you didn’t mind so much.

[becomingbts]

Time heals (sometimes) - 1

Summary: 6 years ago, (Y/N) thought that she was finally taking her life into her hands, leaving behind a toxic and abusive relationship with a man who taught her she’d never be worthy of love. However, it became hard to ignore his words when she met her seven soulmates who rejected her without even giving her a chance to prove herself. It took (Y/N) 3 years to realize that it wouldn’t be her end. She would live on to prove them all wrong; she would become what they all thought she wasn’t: someone worthy of love. And as she stands proudly on the stage, under the  burning spotlights and the applause and  the cries of the delirious crowd, she feels alive. Alive, just like the bond she believed to be broken.

Pairings: Y/N x OT7

GENRE: Soulmate AU!, Idol Y/NAU!, semi social-media AU!, ANGST (mainly), fluff, romance, maybe smut in the series.

Ask or comment to be tagged!

1.5k

Warnings:  The series is going to be heavy with a lot of personal experiences  mixed into the fiction, so this is going to be kind of therapeutic for me. Please, consider not reading the series if you are not comfortable with: abandonment issues, anxiety, panic attacks, depression, self-harm (not descriptive and only part of MC’s past), suicide thoughts (in the past), toxic behavior, toxic and abusive relationship (in the past), depreciating self-talk and low self-esteem, a lot of curse, physical and mental pain, near death experience situation (in the past), and maybe smut scenes (happy ending though, but it will probably be quite the ride).

NOTE: So hello everyone, welcome to Time Heals (sometimes). Thank you so, so much for the warm welcoming, it has been my first time getting so many asks, I was honestly overjoyed. I still don’t really know what to call this part; is it a teaser? A note? A full chapter? I believe we’ll get some snapshot of memories like this one throughout the series because there is going to be a lot to unpack on both sides. I think it will be a chapter nevertheless because I have to establish some kind of order as to which parts should be read first, and I think this one is extremely important.

Thank you for reading,

-Dolly

Profiles #2 - here - part 2

Her scream pierced through the air while cries broke in the frenzied arena while a single blond-haired man froze, emptily staring at the stage. It felt like his senses heightened; his skin was shuddering, his eyes were frantically searching for one specific figure while his voice was lost in his throat. The screams resonating in the stadium would have been too loud for his voice to be heard anyway. 

Jimin knew he shouldn’t be there. 

Namjoon had told them more than once that none of them should try to go to one of (Y/N)’s events. It could be dangerous and they could be overwhelmed; anything could happen to them and they would still remain a nobody who fainted in the howling crowd. Would they want to take this risk? No.

So, Jimin would have had to admit that going to her very first concert in Seoul since the pandemic sounded like a very, very, very bad idea. And to be honest, it still didn’t seem to be a bright idea now that he was actually there. 

But he still went because he needed to see her for himself; to see how she was. He had so many things he dreamed about asking her. Are you okay? Are you sleeping well? Did you eat before coming to the arena? Are you nervous? Do you... remember me? 

Maybe he was torturing himself. He kept on watching her lives, following her on all social media, always made sure to leave a sweet comment, and never miss any of her new updates... Maybe he even had a folder of pictures of her on his phone but he’d never admit it to any of his mates. Taehyung would probably take his phone away from him and delete everything and Jimin couldn’t let that happen.

He felt like it was cheating. Don’t take him wrong though. When he thought that, he was not really thinking about the boys. They did collectively agree not to follow her activities as an artist but it was getting harder and harder with how popular she got anyway. Moon was everywhere. In commercials, on the radio, her songs were on the TV… Even if she was known for refusing most of the promotional contracts that were offered to her, her image was still constantly in the media despite her avoidance of it. Ironic, but the media were trying their best to find anything about her, be it positive or negative. One day she was seen on her bike, the next, she was in a coffee shop, and it kept on going on, overstepping on her privacy as if it was just a meaningless word. 

The lockdown had admittedly played a major part in Jimin’s obsession. Being in their apartment meant quickly running out of activities, and his job as a dance teacher was not really filling his free time (a lot of his classes were also canceled). It was also during that time that (Y/N) truly blew up as an independent artist. Advertisement on YouTube started being around her channel and her music, the recommendations he kept on seeing were about also her… Jimin’s resolve honestly broke easily. It was hard not to be curious about his lost soulmate even though he didn’t feel like he had the right to be hurting. 

Anyway, to come back to his main point, if Jimin felt like he was cheating; it was mostly for her. After all, (Y/N) had no means of letting the curiosity get the best of her, to know what they were doing; to simply see or contact them. He had, at first, not really thought about that. Watching her content seemed a very innocent thing to do in his opinion; billions of people were watching her content, why should he prevent himself from doing so? Yet, Jimin could still remember one of her live she did soon after that interview she had given on this damned radio show where she had revealed who her title track ‘TIME’ was about… She had gone live the next day-Jimin had jumped on his phone because of the notification-and one fan had asked her what would she do if she knew that her ‘ex-soulmates’ (and those words left a very sour taste in Jimin’s mind) were watching her. The question had silenced a previously restless Jimin, replacing his initial excitation with dread while a lump formed itself in his throat. He had not even noticed it; he was so focused on her live and her upcoming answer that Jimin had completely missed the sound of a glass breaking in the apartment. Jimin had been home alone, so even if had indeed heard it, he probably wouldn’t have bothered to check what had happened, thinking that the wind knocked it over or something. Jimin had been so absorbed by what he had been watching that he even got surprised a few hours later when Seokjin came home and yelled at him for breaking something when he had been clearly innocent, engrossed in (Y/N)’s live (not that he could tell his soulmates about that part, but yeah). (Y/N)’s live would always be more important than some random glass breaking again in their apartment. Every object was doomed with Namjoon living here anyway.

On her side of the screen though, (Y/N) had seemed taken aback as she had read the question and had gritted her teeth gently. She had seemed to be pondering about her answer even though a lot of people in her chat were telling her to forget about the question if it made her uncomfortable (a lot were even scolding the person who asked). Yet, sighing softly, she had looked up at the screen: 

“I’d appreciate it if you could refrain from asking questions on this topic. It’s not taboo but I’d rather not remember everything that comes with it. However, to answer this-hopefully-last question about it, I’d ask them to turn off my stream and to stop watching any of my content. It would only be fair after all. I’ve been denied access to their lives six years ago, why would they get a free pass into mine now?” She had not smiled nor had she seemed hurt by her own comment, yet Jimin’s heart had shattered in pieces, unable to press the cancel button. 

Her voice had slowly faded into background noise while her words had been stuck in his head. 

I’d ask them to turn off my stream and to stop watching any of my content. 

How could Jimin ever do that? He realized that he truly should. Namjoon would even agree with you, as ironic as it sounded for Jimin. Namjoon had been one of the most adamant ones about rejecting your bond, after all. Jimin was shaking with bitterness while ‘Moon’ continued her stream peacefully with music. Jimin could only try to gulp his anger down as he remembered her crumbling features on that fateful day. 

“You’re not our soulmates. This name on our arms means nothing to us. You are nothing to us if not a hindrance. Leave us alone.” 

If Jimin could go back in time, he’d prevent Taehyung from spatting those words at her. Yet, he couldn’t do anything. Playing the scene over and over in his mind wouldn’t change anything. It wouldn’t change that she probably hated them. It wouldn’t change the song she made about them. 

And worst of all, it wouldn’t change the fact that Jimin had let himself believe that their choice had been for the best, trying to console and reassure himself, even if he had already known that it was wrong. Tears were pooling up in his eyes even if none escaped as he finally caught a glimpse of her on the stage. Suddenly brought back to reality after his subconscious memory trip, Jimin finally connected back to the world, looking around while he was still frozen on his spot. People were still screaming around him and he wondered if he looked like an intruder. Because, after all, wasn’t that what he exactly was? She said it herself that she didn’t wish for them to watch her; so what was he doing here? 

Jimin couldn’t help but stare; she looked ethereal, dressed like a queen in the middle of a sold-out arena. People were screaming her name as she yelled her infamous ‘hi people’. It was an opening sentence that Jimin heard way too many times in her vlogs and suddenly hearing it in real life seemed surreal. 

Jimin could only watch in awe, entranced with her everything. 

Screw the boys and what they would think once he’d be back from her concert. 

He had been the one to find her six years ago anyway. He had been the one to bring her to their home six years ago, hoping for the boys to change their mind once they’d meet her.

Comments or Ask to be tagged!

Uploaded : 09/04/2021

Taglist: @sweetmoonlight9, @mickmoon, @dreamer95, @loveyoongles, @spicetouched , @jikooksgirl19, @summerevelyn , @springjade , @clevercoley, @prooteus, @sehun096rainbow, @ainsle-e, @ifyouareme, @sunshinee0-0, @fangirl125reader, @sea-nevermind-enthusiast, @atlantis-atlas, @thequeen-kat, @naajix, @skyys-universe , @sichajeon , @yukiehyukie, @amxranthinesworld , @bunzom, @potate-oh, @mawwnsterr​, @ celaenaelentiyavox, @dvoz-writes​ , @honeybaby-94​ ,

[sorryimanon]

Pairings: Bakugou x fem!Reader

Tags: 18+, dirty talk, explicit scenes, mutual masturbation, penetration, bakugou being a switch, reader is a dom, lots of back and forth between characters, slow burn

A/N: this was supposed to be divided into two parts but surprise, surprise! i got lazy :) i had so much writing this. this might be my favorite fic ive written so far! this is a loooong one. enjoy! 

P.S this is the unedited ver. I will posting the final on my AO3 account (sorryimanon)

-

Katsuki disliked her. No, he absolutely loathed her. Ever since she stepped foot into the classroom, it was destined for there to be a hostile barrier between the two of them. Granted, all she did was sweetly greet him like the rest of her fellow classmates, but Katsuki completely saw through her fading facade and ignored the kind gesture with a threatening showcase of his quirk.

"Being nice won't get you anywhere, baka," he snarled, glaring intensely at her all the while everyone watched the whole scene unfold.

He treated her like a foolish peasant after that initial encounter, disregarding her in any way shape or form as disgust shone through his eyes.

Y/N persevered the oncoming school years despite the blonde breathing down her neck consistently everyday. Katsuki's aggressive nature towards her subsided once graduation commenced, alluding to the blossoming maturity each student should have endured before branching off into hero work.

Not long after the celebratory succession, y/n bounced to several agencies that offered the same beneficial agreements for her. None caught her attention. Until one day she received a recommendation from Endeavor himself to work full time at his agency. Of course she accepted it and immediately wrote her sloppy signature down on the contract. Unbeknownst to her excitement, a separate copy of the contract was sent to another uprising hero around her age group.

So when she strutted in that morning of orientation, she never expected to see the very infamous Katsuki Bakugou slouched on one of the many chairs in the meeting room. Her throat tightened as she took a seat next to him, his height still freakishly tall even when they were just sitting. Staring straight forward to prevent from any means of eye contact with him, he lowered his head at her eye level and crooked a half smile.

"I'm gonna make you regret for even considering joining here, extra." A fleck of his spit hit the side of her face. Learning from her past encounters with Katsuki, y/n held her tongue in hopes for him to feel satisfied enough to leave her alone.

Thankfully their office hours were inconsistent to where they didn't intervene with each other, neither of them awkwardly meeting in the lobby or an elevator. However, sometimes y/n and Bakugou would desire the same craving for a caffeinated beverage and find themselves standing shoulder to shoulder by the coffee machine.

Bakugou likes his coffee black, she mentally jotted down as she intently watched his usual routine of preparing the beverage.

Like the asshole he is, Bakugou would purposely tip the mug and let a few trickles of the hot liquid burn her hand. He's done this every single time before he leaves y/n alone in the break room. Deep down, he relishes in the strained expression on her face when he inflicts the pain upon her. Thoughts danced across his head. Some involving him blasting y/n into the stratosphere to her kissing the tips of his boots for mercy. Either way, her being so submissive and, dare he say, a pussy to stand her ground sufficed him enough for the time being. But sometimes it pissed him off.

The constant harassment by the angry blonde went unnoticed by their other colleagues, including Endeavor, leaving y/n to prepare every morning to face the wrath of Katsuki Bakugou. His verbal abuse never wavered, occasionally whispering under his breath "weakling" or "stupid girl" whenever the pair were in the same room together. One time he sent her on a wild goose chase to find a missing case file that miraculously disappeared from her desk while she was copying something in the other room. Hours later, she soon discovers the said file tucked behind Katsuki's arm, snatching it from his grip and not once reprimanding him for wasting her time. Y/N eventually got used to it. Adapting to the annual insults of her work ethics and anything he could muster up from his sleeve. Both finally accepted their twisted dynamic, and became accustomed to the work lifestyle.

Months later, the dynamic soon changed when Endeavor announced an emergency meeting with everyone in the building. Apparently a new wave of villains have been reigning terror over the city, causing major damages and fatalities in a matter of weeks. Rumors started to circulate that the new generation of heroes don't have the capabilities to apprehend this group of evil doers. In the meeting, Endeavor made it clear for everyone to be partnered up before he dismisses them to patrol for the night, suggesting that pairing up with someone who is complimentary to your quirk is efficient for when dealing with these kinds of villains.

That's why y/n didn't voice her complaint when she inevitably got matched with Bakugou. His quirk alone was powerful already. With both of their quirks combined, there's no telling how the mission will go, but she surprisingly feels safe knowing he'll be sticking by her side throughout the rest of the night. It'll be a quick mission, then they'll return back to their previous mundane duties in the office. Back to Katsuki's mental and verbal torment.

"Could you move any slower?" Katsuki barked as both he and y/n were taking a quick stroll through the public park, scoping out for any signs of danger.

She was a step behind him, careful not to bump his shoulder or invade his space. She mumbled out a quick apology and fastened her pace, catching up to the man in gear. Tonight he wore his alternative hero costume, the design made specifically for when the temperature reaches an undesirable degree. The collar touched below the tip of his chin, his chiseled chest covered with the thick black material, and his arms protected from the cold with the addition of sleeves.  

"Fucking weakling..." she heard him mumble once they circled the perimeter again.

Bakugou insisted for them to scout out as many places as possible in hopes for an encounter. He desperately needs any excuse for some action, to use his quirk out of anger. Previously, they patrolled the empty plaza of Tatoone shopping center. Other heroes were there as well, but still no signs of any villains lurking in the dark. For the third time, they met up at the center of the park after making another round, both already tired of the tedious task.

"Just our fucking luck. Still no signs of those stupid villains. I guess we should patrol the outskirts of-."

A bright luminescent beam struck the middle of Bakugou's chest cavity, ricocheting him backwards to slam against the trunk of a large tree, knocking him unconscious instantly. Startled, y/n's eyes frantically searched for the perpetrator, only to meet a pair of glowing green orbs staring right back. She shifted her stance in preparation for their next attack, blocking Bakugou's lifeless body from the villains view. Another beam shot from the darkness, only this time y/n counter balanced the blow by rolling to side, the blast missing her by a couple of feet. Y/N quickly raised to her feet and ran head first towards the dark figure. Without preamble, the figure shot multiple beams at the hero, each one emitting from the void of their chest.

Y/N dodged the bright suffocating strips of light, her feet shuffling and heart racing due to the adrenaline rush. However, she miscalculated her next move which allowed the figure to strike her left shoulder when she was distracted for a split second. Pain shot throughout her shoulder blade. Eyes drawn to a close, her hand shot up to cradle the injury. The intense sensation started to spread from the upper half of her body to below. Everything suddenly became numb, including her sensors. She couldn't feel the tips of her digits nor move any part of her face. The muscles in her legs soon stopped contracting, resulting in her knees giving out. She felt the hard, coarse ground beneath her as the darkness began to swallow up her line of vision. The last thing she saw was a scuffed up Bakugou laying face flat on the drenched grass.

- Y/N stirred awake, lifting one of her half lidded eyes expecting to see the villain looming over her tired body. But all she saw was the popcorn ceiling sheltering her, an overhead fan turned on and the curtains tightly shut. She slowly inclined her body upright and peeled the covers from her clammy figure. Still in the process of waking up, she made her way to the attached bathroom by the bed and located the sink. She splashed the cold water on her face, letting the droplets drench the clothes she was currently wearing. Turning off the facet, she craned her head to view the damage on her shoulder in the mirror. But how come she couldn't recognize herself?

Tuffs of blonde spiked out from her head. Her eyes weren't the same color either. Red crimson irises replaced the ones she had before. The injury from last night on her shoulder wasn't there no more, but she took sight at how broad they became. And she wasn't wearing her typical pajama top and bottoms. This morning she was clad in a black tank top and a pair of soft sweat pants.

No, this can't be true. This has to be some sick nightmare. Jolting backwards on her heel, she let out a terrible shriek. After screaming for a good minute, she calmed down and rested her hands on the bathroom counter, transfixed on the reflection in front of her.

"I-I somehow transformed into Bakugou!" The deep timbre voice of bakugou replaced her own. She tugged on the unkept hair and knitted her eyes shut. "This is only a dream. I'm dreaming right? I can't possibly be in Bakugou's body."

A loud ringing noise alerted y/n to open her eyes again. It was coming from her bedroom. Correction, his bedroom. She glanced at herself in the mirror one more time before retrieving the phone that was stuffed in a green duffel bag. Her eyes widened. She recognized her phone number on the screen. Knowing the circumstances, she pressed answered and awaited for the receiver on the other end to speak.

"WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON?!"

-

"So, we somehow switched bodies because of being struck by that villains quirk the other night. How long did they say this will last then?" Y/N questioned Bakugou the following morning once they agreed to meet up somewhere in private. Right now they were sitting across from each other on a stone bench by the lake, the morning sun peaking through the tall skyscrapers behind them.

Bakugou shrugged his shoulders, technically hers, and said, "Endeavor informed me it'll probably linger for a good week. He also wanted us to not be on duty till we recuperate from this, saying that the side effects will drain our bodies." He couldn't muster up the courage to stare at her, because all he would see is the reflection of himself. "Unfortunately the villain fled the scene before the others arrived to retrieve us. They're still out there causing havoc."

"This is freaking weird."

"Fucking."

Y/N tilted her head in confusion. Across from her, Bakugou pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed in frustration.

"If you're gonna be me for a whole week then you might as well not sugar coat my vocabulary-dumbass."

Right, she now has to devote her time and effort into mirroring Bakugou's explosive personality. But that also means he too has to put on a show in order to persuade everyone he was her.

"Oh, okay..." she started but tensed up when realizing Bakugou was gazing expectantly at her. "D-Dumbass?"

Katsuki groaned as he rolled his eyes at her failed attempt of portraying him.

"This is going to be a long ass week."

- Bakugou grunted in disgust as he scavenged through y/n's closet for something to wear. Every piece of clothing so far hasn't met his criteria of approval to put on his body. There was an unnecessary amount of yoga pants and the most ugliest oversized graphic tees he's ever laid his eyes upon stored in her drawer. Growing up in a household of highly praised designers, the influence shifted his taste in fashion over the years. So, he made the rational decision to make a quick trip to the mall and purchase a few outfits for himself. Considering he's going to be in this body for a whole week, maybe even more, he might as well present himself looking ten times better than she ever has.

He tittered around the mall window shopping, entering store after store leaving with a handful of clothes in plastic and paper bags. So far he bought some outfits that edged a little on the fancy side, but paid no mind to his bank account. Bakugou guesstimated y/n's size during the venture, not wanting to pry or see what's underneath these restricting fabrics. He was about to leave when a frilly-pink themed store caught his attention.

It's a lingerie store, Bakugou thought as he neared closer to the entrance.

Posters inside the displays showcased attractive half naked women clad in nothing but the delicate material. Not to mention they were all posing seductively. An involuntary image of y/n flashed across his eyes, her imitating the same lustrous pose as well as wearing the sheer lingerie like the women behind the glass. Steams of heat practically blowed out from his ears, along with the embarrassing shade of pink panting his cheeks. He clamped a hand on his mouth, eyes widen in disbelief.

The fuck did I just imagine? There's no way in hell that just happened!

He must've been loitering there for awhile because a young girl, possibly his age, was standing in the threshold of the store wearing a pastel pink apron, giving him a welcoming smile.

She spoke, "Looking to shop for something, ma'am?"

Remembering back to y/n's distasteful clothing, he noted that she also lacked having any 'pretty' undergarments. It wasn't that he intentionally raided through her underwear, he just so happen to have stumbled upon the almost empty drawer by accident. In retrospect, he's doing her a favor. He cleared his throat before speaking.

"Yes actually. Can you show me your most expensive set?" - "To your left! That dudes been camping by that spot since the match. He'll snipe you in the open!" Kirishima informed y/n as they both sat criss cross on the cushioned couch.

They've been playing the same game for hours. Y/N prayed for at least one water break or grab something quick to eat since they haven't moved an inch from their spots. Kirishima promised after this match he'll order some takeout for the both of them, but he said the same thing 8 matches ago. All she could do for now was pretend to be immersed in the game, getting a couple of impressive kills here and there, subsequently ranking her to a bronze level. Her digits were beginning to cramp up due to the repetitive moments of smashing down on the labeled buttons on the wireless controller. The screen across from them suddenly went dark and flashed the scoreboard from the recent match. Another successful victory.

"BOOYAAA!!!!" Kirishima clapped his hands and did a celebratory dance. "Ah, good game Bakugou."

Y/N flinched from hearing the blondes name.

"Kirishima, it's Y/N," she reluctantly reminded him.

Kirishima's whole demeanor went south. He chucked out a dry laugh and nervously started rubbing the back of his neck.

"R-Right sorry. Couldn't help myself. I mean, I am looking at Bakugou. Same face, voice, hair, and scary eyes."

After being battered by the villains quirk, Kirishima and Sun Eater were the ones to retrieve them before law enforcement shortly arrived once the perpetrator fled the scene. They were all under one strict oath to not mention this to the public, or else everyone’s image will tarnished and skew the potential of our future rankings.

"I know. I'm still trying to process this whole thing. I've been avoiding all the mirrors in the apartment since I came back." Y/N stood up from the couch and sauntered over to her designated bedroom for the week. She reached for the door handle but stiffened when a pair of hardened hands rested on her broad shoulders.

"Aye, don't worry so much. I bet you Bakugou is thinking the same thing. This week will be over before you know it," he absentmindedly began massaging the area between your shoulder blades and neck.

Does he always treat Bakugou like this despite that nasty little Pomeranian being a complete asshole to everyone?

"Kirishima?"

"Yeah?"

"What is Bakugou like around you?"

The red head hummed to himself at the random question, thinking of a perfect answer to her curiosity.

"The same how he was in high school except more tamer I guess. But I enjoy his presence none the less."

Then why does he seem to unleash his untamed feelings towards me specifically?

Y/N sighed, obviously not satisfied with that answer.

"Out of everybody, he seems to despise me more and more like it's a game," she said without realizing.

"You know how he is Y/N. He's very abrasive and blunt when it comes to other people's emotions, but deep down I know he only acts like that because he wants to present a strong image in front of everyone," he started. "He's scared of others looking down on him, I know that for sure. But I always looked up to Bakugou from the day I personally got to know him. So, I guess he just stayed by my side because of my admiration for him."

Bakugou is always putting up a front then.

"Interesting...well I'm gonna go to bed now. Thanks for keeping me company," y/n said once again reaching for the knob and opening the door, ignoring the red heads pleas for her not go to sleep on an empty stomach. -

The next day Bakugou found himself inside y/n's bathroom, feet firmly planted on the tiled floor not daring to move an inch. Even though he wasn't in his own body that didn't stop him from paying a visit to the gym this morning. He went extra hard on every machine, not caring about the wandering eyes men gave him while he dead lifted weights. Drenched in nothing but his own glistening sweat, Bakugou entered y/n's small apartment as he dragged his tired feet to the bedroom he was now familiarized with.

Something foul wafted into his nostrils, almost making him teary eyed to the stench. He tried to recall the last time he took a shower. Vaguely he remembers washing his body the morning before he got attack by the powerful quirk. It's been several days since then. This was one thing he didn't want to endure during his experience of switching bodies. He's been neglecting his own hygiene to avoid seeing y/n's exposed body parts. Changing out from her clothes with closed eyes was difficult enough, but taking a fucking shower?! Such a shitty predicament. But he can't smell like this for the remainder of being stuck in this body. He'll die of suffocation.

Ah fuck, that must mean she has to take a shower as well. Or worse, she already has and saw everything.

His eye twitched, lips trembling in fear at what he's about to witness.

Fuck it, I can't go out smelling like shit!

With shaky fingers he began stripping, eyes trained on anything but y/n's figure, the faint sound of the water streaming white noise to him. Her gym clothes piled on the floor, Katsuki slipped into the shower, head titled slightly to view only the shower head. He messed around with the chrome handle, indecisive on what temperature he wanted. Settled onto cold to awaken his sluggish state, he positioned himself under the shower head, goosebumps prickling his skin due to the sudden drop of temperature. Water droplets streamed down and canaled to his lower regions, the sensation relaxing his anxiousness just a smidge. He surveyed the options y/n had laid out for hair care products and grabbed the nearest one. Rubbing the body wash into the palms of his hands, he caught himself, arm mid raised getting ready to wash each crevice of his body.

Shit shit shit shit

The hand in front of him began shaking.

She won't know. It's not like I'm touching her sexually, I'm just keeping her clean for fucks sake!

As gentle as he could, Bakugou washed away the soapy residue, fingers cautiously ghosting over anything perking out. A moment too soon, he accidentally skimmed over her chest a little too fast, the tips of his fingers touching something that was hard and protruding. His breathing hitched.

I just felt her fucking nipple!

But fuck, it strangely felt quite pleasant. Pleasurable even if he had to admit.

He continued on with his previous ministrations, cupping her boobs like a madman and swiping one thumb over the taunt surface to test the waters. A fierce, tingling sensation surged shivers down his spine. An unsolicited low moan spurred out from the blonde.

"Hah!"

What the hell?! Why am I still touching her tits? And why am I enjoying it?

Finishing up his routine quickly, Bakugou snatched a towel from the cabinet and rubbed away all the sinful thoughts desperately from his head, a constant fight between his morals and neediness. Nobody will never know what he committed in the confines of her own apartment. And it'll fucking stay like that till on his death bed.

I practically assaulted her. I'm so fucking disgusting

For the rest of the remaining day, Bakugou planned on meeting up with Kirishima to hangout. He wanted to coerce the red head into talking about anything other than y/n. His mind needs the relief. He needs this spell to be over with.

He can't stand trying to fit into women's jeans any longer - Kirishima woke up that morning to a chorus of shrieks. Girlish shrieks, might he add. He thought maybe the neighbors were selfishly doing not-so-holy-things at the peak of dawn. But him and Katsuki were resided on the highest level of the penthouse, them being the only residents on the empty floor. It clicked once he heard his name through the thin walls.

"Ah! Y/N I'm coming!" He leaped from his bed and reached y/n's, technically Bakugou's, room in a matter of seconds.

Y/N's body twitched to the sound of the door being slammed open, the impact rattling the very few wall decorations in the blondes space. Standing in the threshold was the friendly red head, huffing and puffing air out of his chest like he just got done running a marathon.

"K-Kiri! I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to wake you up!" Her words afterwards became a jumbled mess, realizing the predicament she pushed herself into.

"Hey, hey, calm down! Tell me what's wrong. It sounded like you were in pain. Did you hurt yourself anywhere?" The red had to remind himself this was indeed another person inside Bakugou's body, because Bakugou would never apologize repeatedly for the sake of apologizing in his entire life.

Y/N was looking quite pallid now, sheepishly tugging on the black covers of the bed, trying to find the easiest way on how to lay this out to her new roommate.

"Well...I just...I woke up to - ah crap."

Instead of explaining her situation, she pulled back the blanket to show kiri the thing protruding between her uncommonly, muscular legs. Kirishima's eyes widen instantaneously, eating up the pitched tent inside her basketball shorts. Oddly enough, this wasn't his first rodeo upon seeing the blonde with a boner. They were dudes. And dudes living together were bound to witness each other's 'flesh swords', he'd like to put it.

"Oh, morning wood? That's pretty normal. Nothing to fret y/n!" He dismissed her with the wave of his hand. "Bakugou gets them all the time! In fact, I remember he'd get them after sparring sessions back in our U.A days-."

"Okayyyyy, Never mind that! I know I have a boner. Just exactly how do I get rid of it?!"

"You mean, you don't know? Haven't you been taught this in Sex Ed class?" Kiri was actually curious as to why she doesn't know nor remember. He surly does. Learning about the human body by the infamous sultry teacher, Midnight, engraved so much information into his tiny-teenage brain.

"That was considered an extra curricular class. I took a CPR class instead."

"Right well, from what she taught us and from my own personal experience, you gotta rub one out."

Y/N's whole face contorted into a confused mess of disgust.

"Rub a what now?" She asked, although she had a feeling what the euphemism meant.

Kiri's face blotched red, the tint flushing to his chest as well. The man was evidently embarrassed about having this conversation with someone who wasn't Bakugou.

"I essentially mean you gotta masturbate. Ya know, in order to calm down your boner," he paused seeing how distraught y/n became. "It won't hurt I promise you! Don't worry, it feels really good! Like, eating ice cream good! Ah no that's not a good analogy!"

"This is so fucking horrifying..." Y/N poked at the thing, rightfully known as his dick, and kept starring as if it might miraculously subside to its original size.

Kiri coughed, grabbing her attention away from Bakugou's dick.

"He has lotion stashed in his drawer," he started, but malfunctioned seconds later. He revealed something private to someone that bakugou condemned as a 'weakling'. "That is if you need it for lubricant. It's kind of tough to jerk off dry..." his sentence fell off midway.

Y/N mumbled out an "Ok", and retrieved said lotion from the lower bunk of his drawers. She felt a pair of eyes on her. Kiri was still standing awkwardly by the doorway, unsure wether or not if that's his cue to leave.

"Um, thanks Kiri. You can leave now," she plopped back onto Bakugou's king sized bed.

This man sleeps alone. He doesn't need a ginormous bed all to himself.

"R-Right! Well, enjoy jerking off- ah no I meant - I didn't word that correctly! Ah geez, see ya later!" He sprinted out the door like his life depended on it.

Locking the door behind her, y/n forced herself into the attached bathroom, the lotion burning the palms of her hand each second. Once she settled down on the lid of the toilet, she shimmied out from his loose basketball shorts, letting them pool at her ankles.

If there's one thing she learned that morning, it was that being a man had its weird benefits. - "Slow down Bakugou! Let me at least catch up before you black out!" Kirishima was on his third shot while Bakugou just downed his sixth one for the night.

The blonde growled under his breath and tugged the red head by his collar to his mouth.

"Fucking idiot, don't call me that. It's y/n when we're out in public," he loosens his grip and snatches kiri's shot and tips his head back to drain it all down his throat, the burning sensation long gone.

"Ugh, my brain can't keep up with this whole switching body shit. It's been so hard back at the apartment." He internally cringes from the recollection of y/n popping her first boner this morning.

"What do you mean? Has that dumbass been giving you a hard time? If she has, I'll give her a piece of my mind."

"Not at all! She's been a saint while living with me. Which by the way, how come you can't just live at the penthouse while y/n stays at her place?

While Kirishima was talking, Bakugou ordered another round of shots. The bartender shoved a whole bottle of Fireball towards the man, saving him in the future to not ask anymore. The young server gave Bakugou a sly wink and returned back to serving other customers down the line. Cheeks flushed red, Bakugou thinks the man behind the bar was being too nice for his liking. He poured two more shots while keeping an eye on the average looking employee. If kirishima kept babbling, he might as well funnel the entire bottle in one sitting.

"I'm just following endeavors orders. We're not supposed to gain attention from those stupid reporters that camp outside our penthouse," he takes another swing of the warm liquid. "I'd rather fucking be quirkless than mistaken for having any rumored relations with her."

"Can I ask a genuine question? How come you hate y/n so much?"

"I don't hate her, I dislike her. There's a difference."

"I don't know man. Sometimes I mistaken your dislike with love."

"EXCUSE ME? IM NOT IN LOVE OF THAT BITCH?!"

"C'mon dude, I'm sensing a lot of denial from you. Also, shouldn't you be acting like her right now? She's very soft spoken if I'm not mistaken,"

"I'm not in denial idiot. I hate how soft she speaks. I hate how sickeningly kind she is even though nobody deserves it. I hate how she wastes her talented quirk and doesn't see the potential. She's a lost cause Kiri. She won't last for much longer in this field if she keeps this up."

"Wow, for someone who dislikes her as such, you surly sound like you care about heeeerrrrrr," kirshima drawled out in a sing-song voice.

"Shut up and finish your shot, shitty hair."

When the blonde was driving back to her apartment later that night, he slammed his fists against the steering wheel when an afterthought came to him.

His whole reasoning as to why he went out in the first place, and he can't seem to restrict himself from talking about the girl he's trapped in.

Even in this goddamn body I can't seem to steer clear from y/n talk! - Izuku had to do a double take when he entered the small coffee shop. Something about seeing the pensive blonde sitting patiently in a booth by the corner really made him feel like he was sucked into another dimension. Today y/n was wearing a white v-neck with a wool green cardigan and tight black jeans.

Kacchan owns cardigans? He thought, clearly amused.

Upon hearing the ding coming from the door, Y/N raised her head from her phone and waved Izuku over to her table. The poor man seemed like he was going combust right there. It's been awhile since he's spoken to his old classmate.

The green haired hero slid into the booth across from her and immediately started speaking Deku language.

"H-Hey Kacchan! Boy it's been awhile hasn't it? I was a little stunned seeing your message this morning asking to hangout. I'm sorry that I couldn't meet up sooner. I had an early patrol shift from 9 to 5. You might know how that feels, right?! Oh gosh I'm sounding like an adult. Can you believe we're adults-."

"Midor- I mean Deku, I called you up to ask about if you have any leads on the villain with the body switching quirk?" She cut him off.

"Oh yeah, that villain has been spotted a few times since the last attack. Of course most of my team hasn't been able to reprimand them. A few close calls though. But I heard two people from your sector got hit by the quirk! Are they doing okay?"

I hate lying to those big freaking green eyes.

"That's not true. They got hurt, but no one was attacked by their quirk. I just need to know if you have any information on the quirk in particular and what to do in order to reverse it."

Underneath the table, Izuku fumbled inside his pockets in search for his mini notebook. He still obtained the habit of jotting down everything, literally everything, in hopes the information will provide any source of aide. Izuku became all jittery and excited at the thought of sharing anything with Kacchan!

The small, crinkled notebook was slid across the table, hitting the tips of y/n's knuckles.

"Page 124, the first indent I wrote. It's mainly about my own conspiracy on what the villains quirk is. That was before their first debut of course. But now since we know it's a type of body switching quirk, I tried to pin point on what exactly lifts the quirks effect on the victim," Izuku explained casually while y/n skimmed through the notes and passages. "I did a little detective work on my own and contacted the people who were attacked by the villain. From what I gathered, let's just say- it's a bit taboo ."

This piqued her interest.

"What do you mean by, taboo?"

The man began to wave his hands around fervently in attempt to steer the blonde away from prying more. But y/n swatted Izuku's hand and continued reading the sloppy inscriptions.

Her eyes popped out from her sockets.

"I have to what?!" A few civilians stared in their direction, obviously gravitated to the familiar gruff voice.

"Calm down Kacchan! Why are you so angry for?"

Y/N rubbed her temple all the while wanting to slowly die than endure anymore of this.

"Nothing. Just- Ugh...Is it alright if I borrow this?"

"Y-Yeah! Kacchan can borrow anything from me as long as he returns it!" There was that gleam again in his eyes.

"Thanks Izuku, I owe you one!" She squeezed the greenettes freckled hand before leaving the booth and the shop all together.

Still in the cafe, Izuku sat frozen as if someone walked in with gun. Internally though, he was screaming. -

Y/N: Please call me. It's urgent

It was a Friday night when Bakugou received the cryptic message from her. He was in the middle of  watching his true crime show when the annoying ding from his phone went off. For once, he just wanted to relax his mind and go on auto pilot without stressing his already strained body. It's the whole principle of Friday's. To fuck off and ignore everyone. What's so fucking important for her to text him out of the blue then?

Another acute ding.

Bakugou peeked over his shoulder to see who disrupted him this time.

Y/N: Bakugou, we need to talk. This isn't something to ignore.

He rolled his eyes and retrained his focus on the tv screen.

Ding Ding Ding

"FOR FUCK SAKE!" He released an animalistic growl from the depths of his throat, scratching his voice box even more. His fingers typed away aggressively, not bothering to read her previous messages.

BK: Leave me the fuck alone. You're to only text me if it involves with the reverse of this stupid quirk 🖕🏼

Three dots appeared immediately after he sent that. Bakugou started losing his patience while waiting for her response. He hated wasting precious time, especially if there was a second party involved. Her message finally delivered. Bakugou's eyes grew larger in size as he read the text.

Y/N: that's why I'm texting you idiot 🙄 I met up with Midoriya today and he may have given me the solution to our problem.

He bit down hard on his bottom lip as he typed out his last text message to her.

BK: fine. come over then. we can talk about it when you get here.

This time he didn't wait for her to respond back and began cleaning her apartment. - Feeling nervous was an understatement. Y/N felt like she was driving herself to her own execution. Bakugou being the one to carry out the death sentence. She didn't doubt the blonde would be elated at the idea of her being put under a torture device.

Okay, maybe he wasn't too malice to actually do it, but he probably entertained the thought.

Thankfully Bakugou's penthouse wasn't far from her own apartment, saving her much needed gas in case he goes ballistic on her.

The door flew open when she arrived shortly after one knock, revealing a very sluggish looking Y/N shooting daggers at her. Well, at least her body wasn't dressed in bruises or burn marks. That's a win. Bakugou paired herself with a cute crop top and silky pajama shorts. He's got taste she'll give him that.

Her apartment remained exactly the same as she left it when they both were ordered to switch residency's.  Only a few traces of Bakugou were found. Mainly in the kitchen, where all his fancy cooking equipment and utensils were laid out. Unlike him, she ate out almost every night due to the red head being incompetent in the kitchen. He almost burnt down the complex last night. He relied upon his friend to do most of the cooking in their household.

The blonde briskly brushed passed her to sit on the couch, slinging his feet on the coffee table to make himself comfortable. Too comfortable, she noted.

"Well, spill it. What did the damn nerd tell you that could help us with this shit?" He inquired without preamble.

Like a hero, she was here on a mission. A mission that needs to be completed as soon as possible, even if the mission itself was ludicrous. She reached into her jacket pocket to retrieve the mini book, and flipped soundlessly to the page Izuku marked for her.

"On here it says that the quirk can last up to a week, maybe even more, depending on the victim(s). The effected will experience dry eyes, nausea, insomnia, painful migraines, and uncontrollable shaking due to being inside another persons body. They must let the quirk take its course then," she read out loud, ignoring Bakugou's groans of annoyance. "But, for rare cases, there have been reports of one's libido being greatly impacted. The victim will be in constant, insurmountable pain unless they relief themselves, then the two bodies will return back to normal."

To her surprise, Bakugou didn't show an ounce of indignation after hearing this piece of information. He seemed almost indifferent.

And there's no denying the truth. Both of their hormones have been off the rails. Ever since the incident in the shower, Bakugou has caught himself numerous times touching Y/N's boobs. Coping a sly feel as he cooked, cleaned, and even while he scrolled through his social media.  Sometimes her ass as well to see if it felt good in his hands. Y/N was no saint either. Sporting boners every hour for no particular reason. All the blood rushing to her lower region became unbearable when she didn't take care of it. Kirishima kept reassuring her that it's natural for a man to get them a lot. But how much was too much?

He threw his hands up in the air and scoffs. "That's it? I just gotta jack off and then we're free from this curse?"

This is the part she dreaded the most. An uncomfortable heat flash roused up her face, a deep shade of red inching across her cheeks and nose.

"No. That's not what it means. We basically have to...ya know...," she paused mid sentence, too bashful to finish, desperately wanting Bakugou to put two and two together.

She shrunk in her position as the blonde narrowed his eyes at her.

"We have to fuck each other?" He profoundly acclaimed.

"Don't put it like that! But yeah, technically, we have to...help relief each other in order to switch back."

"If you wanted to jump my bones so bad you could've just asked." He leans back against the couch, arm draped lazily over the shoulder of the furniture, along with a playful smirk tugging up on the corners of his mouth. Y/N's blood ran cold when she felt the tiniest twitch down below. Her borrowed reproductive organ is betraying her!

"Do you want to be in constant pain till this all wears off? Or do you want to get this over with and never talk to each other again?" Y/N shuffled more towards the abrasive man, a strong tidal wave of anger rising within her.

"It won't matter because you always wound up in my presence anyway. Like a fucking pest that won't leave me alone." Without realizing it, Bakugou got up from his spot on the couch and marched over to Y/N, who at the moment looked like she was about to pop a blood vessel.

Another thing he hated about switching bodies was the fact that everyone towered over him, despite him being on his tippy toes. The woman in front of him acclimated his height, giving her the upperhand if they were to battle it out right now. If anything he could kick her shins at best.

"Whatever...I'm leaving," was all she said before storming off to the front door, grabbing her things along with her as she grew farther from him.

Katsuki's legs were moving on their own. His hand reached out and grabbed Y/N's forearm, halting her movements altogether. She's clearly enraged, thrashing her body back and forth to loosen his grip on her. He eventually grew tired of her stubborness and secured his grip on both of her arms, trapping her between the door and his body, producing a loud 'thump!'. Although he was in her body, he still carried his strength. In a matter of seconds, both Y/N and Bakugou were chest to chest now, their centers tapping aganist each other.  She averted her gaze to the floor, as if their shoes were more interesting than this whole shitshow of a dilema. Bakugou squeezed her shoudlers, a little too much for her liking, to gain her attention again.

"I didn't say no, did I?" he asked hotly, his warm breath hitting her collarbones. An ice cold shiver ran down her spine, causing her breathing to hitch. Bakugou noticed her sudden stiffness and began rubbing gentle circles into the tender flesh of her skin. "Hoho, someone's excited aren't they?"

Confused, Y/N furrowed her brows and backed up further into the wooden door. But her question was soon to be answered as she followed Bakugou's hungry gaze to the prominent bludge taunting from her pants. Betrayed once again by her unstable horniness!

"Guess I'm not the only one," she accuses once spotting the definite wet stain around Bakugou's crotch. He smirked at that.

"Take care of it then," his voice oozed of seduction and want, rewarding him another twitch in your tight pants. The libido was taking full effect now, any animosity they had before was thrown out the window. Past arguments also long forgotten. Their main priority at the moment was to experience the sweet relief of coming undone.

Y/N darted her hand down to the spot Bakugou needed attention from, and cupped his crotch with her abnormally large hand. Bakugou lets out a shaky exhale as her fingers danced around the sensitive area. One of her fingers moved instinctively, feeling how drenched he was in his panties, and rubbed the underside to get a better feel of the sex.

"You're so wet Bakugou," Y/N mused softly. She leaned forward, searching into Bakugou's eyes for any signs of him wanting this to end. But the pool of his irises were blown out, no tint of your original color in them anymore. "Do you want more?"

He nodded quickly, his hair bobbing up and down. Y/N chuckled and removed her hand from its previous position to the hem of Bakugou's shorts, teasingly toying the waistband. She slipped smoothly into his shorts, tickling him in the process, and toyed with the corners of his panties before moving them aside so she could have access to the thing she's been craving to touch. Wetness lathered up her fingers with just one swipe, causing Bakugou to purse his lips and shut his eyes tightly.

"Is Bakugou embarrassed? Are you mad that I have the upper hand now? After all those years of verbally tormenting me, you can't handle my simple touch?" She whispered dangerously close into his ear. During this, she couldn't tell if he was pissed or turned on. Maybe a mixture of both, but she took pride in his strained expression.

"W-Watch your goddamn mouth. Or do I need to shut you up myself, eh?" By shutting her up, he meant mirroring her exact ministrations. The petite hand of Bakugou's latched onto the zipper of her jeans, and impressively dragged it down in one swipe without getting anything caught. He reached into the tight restraints of her boxer briefs and pulled out the hardened dick. He clicked his tongue. "Not to sound like a narcissist, but you gotta admit, my dick looks pretty."

"Just shut up and jerk me off you asshole. I'm starting to see stars," She wasn't lying to speed up the process. Her body felt like it was on fire, including her dick. If Bakugou keeps stalling for the sake of punishing her, then he's going to be seeing white for days on end.

Bakugou tentatively began pumping her, his grip not too tight nor loose on the flesh. Y/N sighed in relief as he swiped his thumb over the slit, covering his fingers in her precum. Seeing that he's giving into her needs, she returned the favor by inserting her index finger inside, not allowing him to adjust once she massaged the velvety walls.

Bakugou arched into Y/N's body, panting harshly against her chest. "H-Hah fuck, slow down. Shit!"

"Take it like a champ, Mr.Dynamight."

"F-Fuck you."

Oh no. Probably shouldn't have patronized him, because Bakugou sped up his languid motions to pure vigorous jerking of the hand. A wave of pleasure shot up through her body, jolting backwards due to the intense sensation. Of course he's a pro at this. What isn't he good at?

Bakugou rested his head onto the crevice of your shoulder since he could only reach so far, and ghosted his lips on the skin, carefully restricting himself to not engage in kissing the area. While doing so, he cupped the underside of your balls, rolling them around in his small hands. They looked so big when being manhandled in her grasp. Y/N stifled her moans as he kept messing with them, all the while stroking her simultaneously. She felt him smile. The cheeky fucker! Two could play it at this game.

Y/N used one of her thumbs that weren't preoccupied inside Bakugou to massage the only place she knew that could make him cum in seconds.  Two fingers inside, one thumb attentively on the clitorous. It was enough to make Bakugou bite down on her shoulder, trying to prevent any moans from escaping his mouth.

"Moan for me Bakugou. I know you want to," she tried to persuade him with more strokes to the clit, occasionally pinching it with her unoccupied fingers. She can feel he was close. So was she. But she needed to coerce him into helping her to finish too. They need to be a team. "Say something Bakugou. Don't you want to cum? If you don't speak your mind I'm going to stop." She couldn't believe the words that were spewing from her mouth. Y/N has never dirty talked before. Nor has she gotten this far with anyone without freezing up. Definitely the libido effect.

Bakugou detached his teeth from her shoulder and stared deeply into her eyes. Pleading.

"Go faster. Please." The want and neediness in his voice said it all.

He indeed felt vulnerable and exposed right then and there when confessing his desire, but he couldn't care less. Her fingers inside him were heavenly. A mantra of ,"yesyesyesyesyesyes", left his throat as her ministrations didn't falter.

"Fuck! Keep going. Just like that- shit - just like that... yesssss." His moans were beautiful. Not because they sounded like hers, but the way how he vocalizes his pleasure made sense in the world. Every whimper or moan puts her closer to the edge.

"Are you- are you about to?" He asked quietly, as though he was afraid you might stop at any rate.

"Yes! So close, just keep stroking," it was difficult to form sentences after that, the build up tension in your stomach tightening like a ticking time bomb, making your pleads indecipherable.

But Bakugou didn't want to hear that. He wanted to her to say those three words of encouragement.

Make. Me. Cum

And then, as if his thoughts were broadcasted live, she snaked her hands into the locks of his hair and pulled him close to where the tips of their noses touched briskly.

In a small voice she whimpers out, "Make me cum, Katsuki."

Listening to her instructions, his grip tightened around the base of her shaft and began teasing the slit, never once averting his glare from her own. Y/N's legs turned into jello. It became harder and harder to stand any longer. She needed to release. She quickened her pace and brutally scissored his pussy, the erotic sounds of their wetness reverberating in the tiny apartment.

"Cum then baby. Cum for me only."

Baby

Next thing she knew a strip of white shot out from below, dirtying the hands of Bakugou's. Her body began to spasm. Katsuki didn't loosen his grip, the stimulation becoming unbearable at this point.

The coil within him loosened, the evidence of his climax coating her fingers, allowing his orgasum to reach its full potential.

The pair blacked out for a split second, but recuperated once the light hit their corneas again.

"Shit." "Fuck." "..." "..."

Silence. Then the realization hit.

"I'm staring at you and not me! It worked! Hallelujah!" Y/N exclaimed, feeling herself to make sure it wasn't a hallucination.

"Gross. You got cum all over my expensive shirt," he said, wiping away the white substance with his sleeve.

Both of them went into the kitchen to clean the after math. Bakugou would grunt occasionally in disgust, sponging away the grime. Y/N throughly washed her hands and towel dried them, thoughts stiffly empty and vexed. She broke the awkward tension.

"Well, I guess we should call Endeavor and inform him that we switched back."

He hummed in agreement.

"And we should probably exchange our things tomorrow or tonight, but preferably soon since we're going to be on duty again."

Another grunt.

"Don't worry about me mentioning this to anyone. We can just keep whatever happened minutes ago between us-

Bakugou cut her off entirely by smashing his lips against hers. Shell shocked by his action, Y/N kept her eyes wide open whilst Bakugou's were knitted shut. She laid her hands on his chest and shoved him away harshly, putting their distance at arms reach.

"Bakugou, what the hell? All of sudden you want to kiss me?" Y/N's face fell, contorting into a mixture of sadness and confusion. "You only kiss people you like. Not hate."

Bakugou moved towards Y/N slowly, a hint of a smile forming as he neared closer.

"And that's exactly why I did it, idiot," he proclaimed confidently, cupping the side of her face. The touch was so tender and gentle she forgot that it was Bakugou at first.

"You're toying with me, aren't you? The libido is probably still lingering. If you really liked me, then tell me the exact moment you did."

Without hesitation he said, "The first day of school. When you walked in."

Y/N slapped the hand from her face, her skin flushing red by his blunt confession.

"Stop lying. You were mean to me the first day of school. And every day after that. I don't think calling people a "weakling" or "stupid" constitutes as liking someone."

All he did was chuckle and continued scooting closer, eventually towering above her. She squirmed underneath him. She secretly missed having his height.

"You're absolutely stupid if you think I really meant any of that crap. I may have gone overboard on the whole berating thing, but that was just my way of pushing my feelings away, in hopes you'd improve better and not take shit from people like me."  

"Ya know, it's kind of hard to detect that when you were practically spitting on my face."

He leaned down and pecked a chaste kiss on the crown of her forehead.

"You can call me all the names you want later. Kick my ass if ya want, but for now let me make it up to you," he whispers before planting his mouth to hers again, only this time she didn't protest.

Heat swirled within her as she watched Katsuki's eyes flutter close, enriched in the moment to open them, and gripped the base of her neck to apply more pressure into the kiss. The man guided her as he moved his plushed lips ontop of hers, consuming the pretty noises she made. And my, were they absoultey rich coming from her.

I want to hear more, the selfish thought banged repeatedly inside his lust filled mind.

Y/N nervosuly closed her eyes shut when Katsuki's wet tongue prodded the entrance of her tight, lipped mouth. Letting him take full control, Katsuki managed to enter the strong muscle into her wet mouth and explored the canvernous place with such eagerness, such tenacity. Like he's been dying to do this for as long as his skillful mind can remember. Y/N found herself moaning as Katsuki grabbed her waist and forcefully collieded their bodies together, her soft breasts pressed up against his hard chest. Her perky tits put him in a trance, remincseing back to the day when first touched them, the guiltiness eating him up from the inside-out. Katsuki slithered one of his hands to the taunt boob and gave it a firm squeeze, causing Y/N to squeak out in embarrasement. They still feel fucking amazing in his hands.

"You're so fucking cute," he drew back from her, already out of breath. Everything was hitting him like a tsunami. He can finally admit to himself that he's been wanting this since they became co-workers. Hell, since the fucking beginning. Younger Katsuki would deem him as a horny loser who lost at his own game, but he wasn't a damn kid anymore.

"K-Katsuki...bedroom?" her hands found their way back into his crisp locks, futher egging him to comply. The small action made him moan.

"Fuck yes," Katsuki growled out and in a haste hooked his arms underneath the back of Y/N's thighs, hoisting her in the air to lead them into the bedroom they're both familair with.

Journeying to her bedroom became a difficult task. If only she'd stop giving his neck, the most sensitve spot out of his entire body, kitten kisses then he'd be plowing her back by now. He grew weaker by the second as the shy, acute kisses trandsitioned into full on sucking and biting. Not that he was complaining.

Katsuki threw her down onto the bed, unable to contain his smile when she hiccuped a chorus of giggles. God, even her giggles are fucking contagious. Strong arms scooped her up momentarily, bringing her to the center of the bed. Grazing her aching spot was Katsuki's growing buldge. Y/N circled her arms around his tiny waist squeezing him closely as Katsuki rolled his hips downwards to meet hers. She seized Katsuki's bicep, whimpering, and rythmically pushed her groin towards his, the tin material of her shorts scraping the surface of his jeans deliciously. His head dragged down to her collarbones, panting softly, wetting the skin from the condesation of his breath.

"I want you so fucking bad, please," he managed to choke out in between the continous grinding.

Gaining a newfound confidence, Y/N mimiced the way how Bakugou unzipped her when they were still in opposite bodies and peeled back his briefs till his inflamed member popped out, smacking his lower belly. He cursed under his breath noticing the immense amount of pre-cum leaking from the head. As much as she wanted to lick it all up, there were other things to tend to. She shimmied out from her skimpy shorts and crop top, not wasting any time for lingering touches. But Y/N caught a menacing glare in his eyes. His attention was focused on something else. Looking down, she saw that she was sporting a sheer laced bra with matching panties. She definitely doesn't remember having these in her personal closet.

"You bought me lingerie?" Y/N tried to sound unfazed at the thought of Katsuki willingly purchasing these pretty undergarments for her. That must mean he's seen her boobs!

"Yeah? So what if I did. Your sense of fashion is nonexistent. I pitied you that much to where I bought you shit with my own money."

His face was stern, scarily resembling the times he'd be bashing someone's head on the concrete during a bloody battle. But his eyes told a different story. She couldn't quite pin point the time or place when she witnessed the same gleaming spark in those vermilion orbs, but she felt safe and wanted all in one.

So she began teasing the straps of her bra, head still in disbelief that the blonde underneath her bought it, and let the material slip off her shoulder seductively. Bakugou's breathing quickened as he watched y/n toy with the next strap. He stopped her midway.

"No," his fingers were ironically cold.

"No?" She questioned him, awkwardly frozen still on his lap. His evident boner pushing up against her sex, making her wet even more.

Numbly, Bakugou pulled up both of the straps to her bra and chuckled lightly to himself.

"I wanna fuck you with this on. It's been on my mind since I bought it," he admitted out loud.

Y/N held back a moan, his words carrying so much weight to them all the while directing it straight to her drenched pussy.

Without saying a word, y/n left acute kisses on Bakugou's neck, trailing it down further and further till she reached the leaking head of his member. He became antsy as she wrapped her petite hand around the base, fingers tracing the topography of his veins. Y/N saw the desperate look on his face and took all of him in her mouth, holding in the breath of oxygen she took before doing so. Bakugou hissed, teeth clamping down on his bottom lip nearly ripping the skin apart. This feels way better and more appropriate. He prefers her wet mouth over her fingers any day of the week.

Y/N sucked in her cheeks, allowing herself to take more of his member. The tip of his head eventually hit the back of her throat, causing her to gag and choke due to the sudden pressure.

"F-Fuck. Holy shit, keep going," Katsuki begged, tears swelling in his ducts already.

The saliva from her open mouth created a natural lubricant, making it easy for her to bob her head up and down. Bakugou's ears picked up the erotic wet squelching sounds coming from her as she kept up the brutal pace, the noise alone making him want to come undone. The sight of y/n slobbering on his dick is now engraved in his head. He let out a wanton moan when she played with his balls, recalling the memory of him performing the same ministration on himself with her beautiful hands.

He can feel the familiar sensation spreading down below, his throat constricting as the stimulation of her sucking and licking becoming too much. Before she could continue, Bakugou reached over and lifted her head by her hair.

"I can't hold it in any longer. I need to be inside you now," his voice was strained to point where it came out as a whisper.

Pushing her back gently, Bakugou latched his mouth onto hers as he spread her legs wide apart. Revealing a canal of her wetness dripping from her panties to the inner thighs. Bakugou licked his lips hungrily. Mentally slapping himself for not tasting her before she gave him head. He'll make sure to explore that endeavor later.

Lips still locked, Bakugou tugged the bottom half of her laced panties aside, strings of her glistening wetness shimmering, and positioned himself at her aching entrance. The tip of his cock teased her folds, coating it even more. He agonizingly went in slow circles, occasionally slapping her clit with it. Y/N's arms were above her head, clutching the linen sheets in anticipation. Katsuki smirked against her lips at her wrecked expression.

"Bakugou please...," y/n pleaded with her full chest. She wants to know how it feels to be wrapped around him. To be one with him. "Don't hold back. Just fuck me."

Bakugou's eyes grew darker after the demand, pure lust taking control over his body now. He sheathed into her quickly without taking his eyes off of her face. A quiet whimper left her throat when he fully bottomed out. He checked for any signs of y/n looking displeased or uncomfortable, but he got his answer when he felt her legs wrap around his torso, pulling him in as close as possible. Bakugou basks in at the sight of y/n sucking him completely, her legs fully bent back in an awkward position. He decides to pull his cock halfway out. y/n whimpers due to loss of friction but gets rewarded seconds later when Katsuki rams his cock inside again, pushing all his weight onto her.

"Oh, fuck, Katsuki!," she whines, instinctively clutching her walls around him.

"You're so tight for me huh baby? Can't help but to clamp around this dick," Katsuki sneered while pumping tentative thrusts into her.

His hands clasped both of her thighs now, pulling her towards him, urging her to move in a harmonious dance with him. Finding somewhat of a rhythm, y/n fucked Katsuki back by rolling her hips, a synapse of heat exchanging between them. Sweat starts dripping down from the crown of his forehead onto the peaks of her breasts. Lost in thought, he tipped his head forward and lapped up the remains of his salty musk, tongue expertly twirling around the taunt nipple. Y/N mewled, hands searching - reaching - for anything to ground herself, settling on interlocking her fingers with Katsuki's nitroglycerin drenched hands. She titled her head and took a whiff.

Caramel and soap

A popping sound went off in her ears. Katsuki released her swollen tit only to look up with hooded eyes, his infamous smirk on full display.

"Open your mouth," was all he said before raising one of his fingers that she was so embarrassingly fixated on moments ago. When she didn't obey Katsuki grabbed her by the jaw and shoved not one, not two, but three fingers in her mouth. Like with his cock, she couldn't handle the intensified pressure in the back of her throat, gagging instantaneously.

"Atta girl. Just take my fingers like a good bitch. Oh? You like it when I degrade you huh? Don't lie, you tightened instantly when I said that." Katsukis pace sped up rapidly, pumping into her cunt like a madman, fingers still lodge down her throat. Each thrust left her shuddering for more, his hips meeting hers to create a loud song, the noise drowning out her muffled screams.

It became hard to see now, a tunnel vision of just a crimson glow. Soon she feels herself becoming light. Katsuki grew impatient and flipped y/n on her stomach, a tiny oof rocked out from her, and inserted his member back into her stretched out cunt.

Y/N yelps as Katsuki's cock hits the sweet spot - fresh tears flooding down her flushed face, babbling nonsense into her pillow.

She caves, sobbing, "yes, yes, ohgod. you feel so good. you're so fucking good -ah katsuki!"

Looming over her trembling body, the blonde slows his harsh thrusts to a savagely slow grind. He lowly chuckles watching her writhe and wiggle her body in desperation.

"You think you can just come that easy? Beg for me to let you come!"

Smack!

A harsh sting rattled her lower back, causing her to bite down harshly on her lip to avoid showing any pain.

"Such an asshole..." y/n huffed out, oblivious to the way how Katsuki was preparing for her next punishment.

Smack! Smack!

"Not good. Ask nicely for me to fuck this pretty pussy into the mattress."

More whimpers into the tear stained pillow.

"P-Please Katsuki..." she begins, frustration growing exponentially with every word. "Fuck me. I need your cock. I always needed your cock Katsuki. Make me scream out your name when I come!"

She didn't even have time to process what she said before Katsuki enclosed his hand around her throat, forcefully dragging her writhing body to his chest, cranking her head in a 90 degree angle. Cock still warming up her insides.

"That's my girl," he said before kissing her lips again, devouring the sweet noises she made.

Her neighbors were in for a long night. - Both of their bodies the next morning faced more damage than any crusade of a patrol. Bruises painted the outskirts of y/n's body, trailing from her thighs to the divots of her breasts. Katsuki paid no mind to it, seeing how he can make a bloody lip a trailblazer look.

Even though no one wanted speak much about the issue at hand - last night was a pivotal moment for their relationship.

Because y/n wouldn't be making a fresh batch of coffee for the Katsuki Bakugou in her kitchen right now.

Because Bakugou wouldn't be lounging by her washing machine, waiting for the timer to go off so he can put her bed sheets in the dryer.

They found themselves sitting comfortably in silence - the soft whipping of car horns outside her cracked window - Katsuki blowing on his coffee before taking a sip. It all seemed unreal to her. In any other circumstance they'd be at each other's necks by now, screaming nuisances in the air. She considers this whole ordeal a ruse. But it isn't. Thank god it isn't. Because Katsuki never looked calmer or relaxed in his entire life till now. And she wasn't going to bat an eye away from this ground breaking phenomenon.

Intently watching him drink from across the table, she ponders if Katsuki liked her from the get go, and maybe just disguised his feelings with disgust towards her later on. The question will go unanswered, possibly until he confides and tells the story himself, but for now she was content not knowing the what if.

"How did you know I like black coffee?" Katsuki asks, quirking up an eyebrow at her.

Y/N takes a long drag from her mug, indulging in the sweet taste of the caramel creamer.

She smiles and says, "I don't know. Just took a wild guess."

-

[gubler-me-up]

The Cure

Request: Not sure if you are taking requests but I’d love to see a one shot of that scene where Reid is getting washed down bc of anthrax and he asks the reader “I’m about to get naked, do you really wanna see that?” And the reader is like yeah and leads to some sexy times later lmaooo

A/N: Thank you for the request, anon! While I was writing this I was like how do I turn this moment into something sexy??? but I think I figured it out so I hope it makes for a good smutty read!! Enjoy!

Couple: Spencer Reid/Fem!reader

Category: Smut

Content warning: Unprotected sex, penetrative sex, fingering, creampie, swearing, mentions of anthrax

Word count: 2.7k

————-

“Go help Hotch,” Spencer insisted.

“Hotch has plenty of people helping him,” you assured.

The biohazard team was hosing him down with water to eliminate any traces of anthrax possibly lingering on his body. You felt bad you had let him wander off by himself even though he continuously insisted it was his fault. You wanted to stay by his side until he was taken to the hospital. You wanted to make sure he was okay throughout the whole process.

“He needs you more than I do,” he said.

You shook your head in protest. “Spence, I’m going to see you off to the hospital.”

“I’m about to get naked so they can scrub me down. Is that something you really wanna see?” He asked.

Without thinking you answered. “Yes.”

You quickly pressed your lips together as you realized what you had said. He looked at you in shock and you could feel the embarrassment tingling in your gut. The biohazard team looked on as if nothing had occurred but you could tell they heard you just by the brief looks they gave you. They seemed intrigued by what would be the next words to leave either of your mouths.

“Uh, maybe I will go see if Hotch needs help,” you said as you turned around.

“Y/N,” you heard him call.

You immediately turned around. You thought you turned around too eagerly because he looked thrown off by how quickly you switched your attention back to him. Or maybe he was still thrown off by your response to him. Either way you stood there waiting for him to say another word.

“I wa-”

“Dr. Reid, did you cut your hand?” Dr. Kimura asked.

Spencer looked at his left hand and you could see the instant look of panic wash over his face. You felt your heart drop as you saw how scared he looked and you were deeply scared for him. You both had thought he was in the clear for about an hour at that point which scared you even more. While they were hosing him down the anthrax had been going into his bloodstream.

He then let out a raspy cough. The panic started to come over you and you went right up to the glass that separated the both of you. He looked up at you and tried to tell you something but he was interrupted by a series of raspy coughs.

“He needs to get to the hospital now,” Dr. Kimura said.

“Spence, you’re going to be okay. Please tell him he’s going to be okay,” you begged.

“He’ll be okay once we get him to a hospital,” she reassured you.

She grabbed him by the arm and escorted him out of the room. The other biohazard team members rushed to the ambulance in the driveway. You ran out the door to meet them in the driveway. They took out the gurney and helped Spencer onto it.

You looked on in horror as he had trouble catching his breath. You didn’t even think your steps through as you walked towards the ambulance. As they put him in you were ready to climb in along with him. Dr. Kimura had to stop you immediately.

“Agent, you can’t be in the ambulance,” she said.

“But I have to make sure he’s okay,” you said.

“I know you do but I don’t want you to be put at risk. Meet us at the hospital to find out any further details about his health,” she said.

Before you could protest any further she hopped into the ambulance and closed the doors. You heard the sirens blare as they rushed out of the driveway towards the hospital. You ran towards the SUV and hopped into the driver’s side to get ready to follow them.

You took out your phone and called Hotch before you followed them. You impatiently waited for him to answer. You wanted to be by Spencer’s side as soon as possible so he had someone by his side to make sure he was okay. As soon as Hotch answered you frantically babbled everything you had to say to him.

“Hotch, Reid’s going to the hospital because the anthrax is probably in his bloodstream, so I’m going there right now to make sure he’s going to be okay,” you said.

“Y/L/N, how did that even happen? I thought they were going to hose him off,” he said.

“Hotch, I’ll fill you in later but I have to go. Bye,” you said and hung up on him.

You knew Hotch would call you out for your irrational need to panic but you didn’t care. You had to make sure Spencer had some sort of support. He had been through so much by himself and you couldn’t let him go through another downfall in his life alone. You put on your sirens and pulled out of the driveway before rushing to the hospital.

It had been an agonizing three hours of waiting for Spencer to wake up. Lucky for him he found the cure before he was rushed to the hospital. When he did wake up you made sure he was the first person he saw. It would have been you and Morgan but he went to go get an extra jello for Spencer for when he woke up. You and Morgan had eaten both of the jello’s in his room because you both got hungry as you waited for him to open his eyes.

You were over the moon when he had woken up. You couldn’t contain your excitement and went in for a hug immediately. You made sure it wasn’t too tight but close enough so he could feel the warmth you had to give to him. He wrapped his arms around you to hold you tight to him.

He couldn’t thank you enough for being by his side the whole three hours he was asleep. You assured him you would have waited longer if need be. The need did arise when Dr. Kimura informed him she wanted to keep him overnight to make sure he was fully stabilized. You told him you would stay with him as long as possible before the hospital had to send guests home for the night.

You were walking back to his hospital room with a paper bag full of fresh fries from the mom and pop diner from across the street. Spencer said he wished he had some fries to balance out his plain Jane hospital ham and cheese sandwich. You took it upon yourself to get it for him. It was the least you could do for him after everything he had been through in the day.

You knocked on his hospital room door before entering. He was reading a sports magazine Morgan had left behind in his room. From the look of confusion and dissatisfaction on his face you didn’t think he liked it very much. He looked up at you and instantly smiled as he tossed the magazine onto the side table.

“Hey, I got those fries you wanted,” you said.

“Aw, Y/N, you really didn’t have to,” he said.

“Spence, this isn’t the time for you to be overly considerate about my time or money. You almost died today,” you said as you closed the door behind you.

“That’s no excuse to splurge on me,” he said.

You chuckled as you rolled your eyes. “You’re impossible sometimes. If you don’t want them I’ll gladly eat them for you.”

“I didn’t say I didn’t want them, I just said you didn’t have to but since they’re here I’ll eat them,” he said.

You laughed as you walked up to his hospital bed. You sat on the edge and handed over the bag. He smiled as he gladly took the bag from you.

“Thank you for everything, Y/N. I really appreciate you,” he said.

“No problem. Anytime,” you said.

“Can I ask you for one last favour?” He asked.

“Of course,” you said.

“Can you pull the curtains? I don’t feel comfortable with people watching me eat through the windows,” he said.

You got up and walked over to the big curtain to pull it across to block out anyone from looking in. The only light pouring in now was from the little gap of space at the top. You looked over at him with a smile but soon noticed he had put the bag of fries on the side table.

“Aren’t you hungry?” You asked.

“I’m actually curious about what you had said earlier,” he said.

You raised an eyebrow in question to what he meant but you already knew what he was asking about. You walked back over to him and sat on the edge of his hospital bed. You knew he could see through your disguise of playing dumb. You sighed and decided to come clean instead of trying to lie to a profiler.

“I wouldn’t mind seeing you naked. I know it was totally inappropriate and unprofessional and I’m sorry,” you rambled.

“Don’t be sorry,” he said.

“What do you mean?” You asked.

“Because I wanted you to stay,” he admitted.

It took a second for you to comprehend what he said. Your eyes widened as you took in his desire for you to be there as he got naked. You didn’t have any words to say to that. On the inside you were screaming at a high pitch that only dogs could hear but nothing left your mouth. You could see Spencer’s open expression soon fade into a worried one.

“Uh, sorry. Maybe you didn’t mean-”

You leaned in and kissed him briefly on the lips to prevent him from continuing his sentence. When you leaned up from him you could see a thrill spark in his eyes. You softly giggled as you felt adrenaline come over you.

“I think you’re really special, Spence and for months now I’ve had you on my mind,” you confessed.

“So have I. Eight months, twelve days and eight hours to be exact,” he said.

You chuckled. “I’m glad we’re on the same basis. If my profiler skills are on point you didn’t want me to close the blinds so you could eat.”

He smirked. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

You chuckled as you crawled onto the bed and swung your leg over him so you could straddle him. You leaned closer to him so you were right in front of his face. He couldn’t hide his true intentions from you now. He couldn’t help but laugh as you caught him red-handed.

“How about we stop talking and start doing?” You asked before planting a heavy kiss on him.

He latched his hands onto your hips. He lowered your body down so your pelvis could touch his. You could feel how hard he was through his hospital gown. You slowly grinded on his hard bulge to get him even harder. He moaned through the kiss and you loved hearing him being unable to even form a proper word to express how you made him feel.

He slid his hands down to the bottom of your skirt and moved his hands up to pull it up. He managed to slip his fingers underneath you and slowly stroked the cloth of your underwear. You started to moan yourself and you wanted more of what he was doing to you. You moved your underwear out of his way so he could get to stroke you properly.

He didn’t hesitate to run his fingers up and down your folds. He made sure not to forget to pay your clit a visit here and there. You moaned in pleasure as you let him feel you for the first time. You unbuttoned the first four buttons of your blouse because you were getting hot. Spencer had no problem with you revealing more of yourself to him. In fact he looked ecstatic to see you loosen up even more.

He then inserted two fingers into you. You nearly lost your mind as he pumped his fingers in and out of you. He looked you in your eyes as he did. He had a small smirk on his face in response to how you could barely contain yourself anymore. He leaned forward to trap you in another lengthy kiss. From your lips he kissed along the side of your face until he reached your ear.

“I’ve been waiting for a long time to know how you feel,” he whispered.

“I hope it’s everything you’ve ever desired,” you moaned.

“It’s more than I could ever desire,” he whispered.

His words alone could send you over the edge. You pulled back the sheets from under you and proceeded to lift his hospital gown. You gently took his fingers out of you as it was time for you to show him how good you could feel.

You grabbed his dick from underneath you to hold it in place. You gently slid down onto it and you both let out a moan in unison. You grabbed onto his shoulders for support as you gently rode him. You would go faster but you thought he had already been through a wild ride during the day.

The way he grabbed your hips to motion you to go faster indicated to you his heart could take it. You obliged and quickened your pace as you continued to let out countless moans. You looked in his eyes as you rode him and you could see how lost in lust he looked.

“How do I feel now?” You asked.

“Amazing,” he said.

You smiled and leaned down to kiss him again. You couldn’t get over how amazing his kisses were. You didn’t know if you liked his kisses more or his dick. He was definitely the whole package all around and you couldn’t get off the high he made you feel.

You continued to ride him for a few minutes and it was becoming harder and harder for both of you to contain your moans. You then felt him grab your hips to hold them still. You were confused until he started to buck his hips up into you. You accidentally moaned louder than expected so he hushed you as he continued to buck his hips.

“I’m about-”

“Just fucking cum in me.”

“You su-”

“Yes, just do it.”

He grunted as he came in you. You moaned out a sigh and eased up off of his dick. You two were heavily breathing but catching your breaths didn’t stop you from kissing each other. You could have kissed him for hours on end but a knock on the door scared you so deeply you jumped off of him. You fixed your skirt and buttoned your blouse as quickly as possible as Spencer pulled down his nightgown before covering himself with his sheet.

“Come in,” he said.

A security guard came in. He looked at the both of you and for a second you were nervous he knew what you two did. You didn’t exactly care if you two were caught by him but it didn’t make a good first-time story to remember. You immediately grabbed your bag because you came back down to reality and realized what he was going to say.

“Visitation hours are up, miss,” he said.

“I know, I’m leaving now,” you said.

He nodded and left, closing the door behind him. You looked over at Spencer and the both of you laughed. You leaned in and gave him one last kiss.

“I’ll be back tomorrow morning to pick you up,” you said.

“Thank you. I can’t wait to see you tomorrow,” he said.

You smiled. “Me either. See you tomorrow.”

You turned around to walk towards the door. You couldn’t stop smiling to yourself as you thought about the possibilities of tomorrow and the future with Spencer held. Before you turned the doorknob to leave, you heard him call you.

“Y/N,” he said.

You turned your head. “Yes?”

“I can’t let you leave without asking you on a date. Would you like to go on a date next week?” He asked.

You giggled. Even though the two of you just had sex in his hospital bed, he still had to be a gentleman about the whole thing. He was definitely the best guy you had ever known. You nodded in excitement.

“I would love to, Spence,” you replied.

He smiled. “Awesome. I can’t wait. Goodnight, Y/N.”

“Goodnight, Spence."

—–

MASTERLIST

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[spenciegoob]

The 4 Types of Manipulation

A/N: hey hey hey cuties... just thought I’d drop in to tell you I love you and Harry Styles at the Grammy’s, oh and Miley Cyrus in general. Okay that’s it.

Summary: Spencer has to interrogate an unsub, but she has a few tricks up her sleeve.

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Fem Unsub!Reader

Category: Not fluff, but not angst... angsty fluff? fluffy angst?

Content Warning: mentions of murder, manipulation, mentions of sex in the form of flirting, mentions of drug use, mentions of emotional abuse

Masterlist

Word Count: 2.8K

____

Nobody dared to take a breath out of place, every profiler was packed into the room watching with careful eyes at the sobbing girl in the interrogation room through the glass. No one knew what their first step should be, but I guess there’s a first time for everything, right? Winging it was not something anyone in the BAU enjoyed doing, each case needed a thought out plan.

But they’ve seen this unsub before, they know the profile, the history, they know her. So why was she crying so hard that the weight of her head became unbearable, leaving her only option to sob into the crooks of her elbows as best as she could with wrists cuffed to the table?

Nobody knew, except for Spencer Reid.

Emily was hesitant, as expected, to blindly send in one of the best agents she’s ever seen into the room that with each tear shed slowly morphed into a lion’s den. Reid deserved better, she knew that, especially since the last time they dealt with an unsub like this one, Spencer had to be so far out of the loop that the case almost broke him.

He put up a good fight though, and if the determination set in his eyes wasn’t enough to inform the unit chief that she was not winning this argument, his deviance to storm through the door, startling the young woman chained down definitely did.

Why was it always Spencer?

Tears:

“P-please, I didn’t do anything.” Those were the first words anyone’s heard her say since the arrest, even if they were separated by sniffles and choked out sobs. 

Spencer just stared down at her, not taking the risk to further entertain the stuttering girl with wet cheeks and tired eyes.

“I promise I’m not a murderer. You have to believe me, please.” That promise whispered so quietly made with unbreakable eye contact urged him to take a second to reevaluate the situation.

She was apprehended in place of Jacob Hughes, the man they had originally been looking for. There was a chance she wasn’t complicit, a chance she was innocent. Maybe Jacob placed a hair of hers at the latest crime scene because he knew they were closing in.

Or maybe she is just as sick as he is. 

“Prove it,” Spencer said, his tone loud and assertive, leaving no room for argument. She didn’t plan on fighting his demand anyway.

“I- I haven’t seen Jacob for days. He drugged those men, and did h-horrible things. Those poor men.” This struck a nerve, everybody could tell, even the one person in this interaction that wasn’t a profiler. 

Spencer’s shoulders tensed for a millisecond, but she saw it. She saw what her words were doing to him, after all, he used to be one of those poor men she felt so sorry for.

Another loud sob echoed off the concrete walls before she bit her bottom lip and took a deep breath.

“I can’t believe he mur... did that to them. H-how could he?” Spencer watched as the young girl looked up to him like he held the answer to the million dollar question. He studied the way her eyes bounced around his face, looking for something, anything to relieve some confusion when it came to her fiancé.

“Jacob Hughes is what we call a vindictive narcissist and a sadist. He receives pleasure from hurting others, and in this case, drugging and torturing men because he feels he’s been wronged his whole life. The question, however, is why. I know you know, just like how I know you’re aware of his crimes.”

It was a blow so low it could’ve come from hell itself. Spencer regretted it immediately when he watched the way her whole body stiffened at the mention of her knowledge, but he had to be certain no matter the fallout.

“I-I still don’t understand. I’ve never seen him hurt anyone.” Denial, guilt and fear all jam packed into 3 little words that had his heart dangerously close to breaking. The sorrow in her eyes believable enough that Spencer left his standing position between the suspect and the door to sit directly across from her.

She watched his movements with careful eyes, only stealing glances from her peripherals before returning to her cuffed wrists.

“Maybe you’ve never seen him physically hurt anyone, but we know what he does to you.” It was the first and only time Spencer let any emotion, as fake as it was, show in his responses. How could he not try when the girl resumed her sobbing at the implication of her past deception from the man she loves? 

“You know nothing,” she whispered back, her tone laced with defensive anger.

“I know everything.” Was he challenging her?

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Was she challenging him?

“You know what it means.” Yes, he was.

“Do I?” Yes, she was.

The two stared at each other for the entire tone shift in the stuffy interrogation room. The other profilers on the other side of the mirror had no knowledge of how thick the tension had just become because unlike Spencer, they weren’t standing in the middle of it.

Small sniffles were the only noise breaking through the quiet until suddenly, they just stopped.

“Ugh, fine! You win this round. My eyes are starting to hurt from all this goddamn crying. Do people actually cry this much when you arrest them?”

Spencer leaned back in his seat, crossing his arms to clearly convey just how unamused he was with the girl’s antics. She watched him intently, picking apart every move down to the muscle trying to search for any indicators that her little performance worked even a fraction of what she was hoping for.

And she got her wish in the form of the agent’s fingers tapping lightly at his sides under perfectly muscular, if she may add, arms, because any other movement would have been too obvious.

Spencer Reid was getting nervous, because the second her facade faded, he lost the upper hand. She just had to get him trapped in here.

“Oh come on. Not even a ‘good job’? I wasn’t expecting full blown applause, but some appreciation for that show would be nice.” Still, Spencer gave her nothing. He needed her to keep talking, and filling silence was a sure way to make certain she did just that.

“I’ll tell you what you need to know, but first you have to admit that I had you fooled for a second there.”

Lies:

“No.” Unexpectedly, instead of getting frustrated with Spencer’s refusal to play along, she just smiled brighter. This was exciting to her, and it was getting on his nerves.

“What gave it away? Did I look to the left before I spoke or something?” Spencer kept his mouth shut. “Come on, what’s my tell? Enlighten me.”

She copied his movements as Spencer leaned over the cool, metal table slightly, eyes racking over her face, lingering on certain parts for longer than others.

“No.” At this, she huffed back in her seat, leaving the close proximity that would later be used as a secret tool against the doctor before he had the chance to catch on. 

“If you’re just going to shut down every single one of my proposals, then why am I here?”

“You’re here because you’re a suspect in a series of 7 murders in the past 5 weeks.” She perked up at his words, amusement dripping from her features.

“Finally, Doc has something more to say than just ‘no.’ Tell me, was that so hard?”

“No.”

“Ugh!” Rolling her eyes would be giving ammo to the enemy, but the urge to do so was quite strong. In fact, she almost did until she caught a glimpse of her reflection in the one way mirror.

“I’m serious when I say this,” she said, looking directly into Spencer’s eyes so he couldn’t accuse her of lying. “If you take the cuffs off, I’ll answer everything.”

“No.”

“Please! They’re seriously starting to hurt. I put 100% into that performance, and now it’s coming back to bite me in the-”

“Fine!” Spencer stood up carefully, not walking around the table until he was certain the girl wasn’t a flight risk, or worse. When he did finally make his way over, she sat completely still, not taking her eyes off where his fingers grazed hers as the handcuffs unlocked.

A breath of relief escaped her as she rubbed her wrists with the opposite hands, eventually feeling the blood fully return to all 10 fingers.

“Thank you.” It was so vulnerable and raw that it knocked Spencer back for a second. They locked eyes, and something deeper than he was ready for passed between them.

He didn’t know what it was, all he knew was that he hated it so much that he tore his eyes away immediately to return back to his original spot seated across from her.

“Answer me this-”

“I’m gonna stop you right there.” Neither of them spoke for far too much time, and Spencer was growing more annoyed by the second.

“What?” It came out harsh, and mean, and downright cruel, but he couldn’t care less.

“Oh nothing, I just wasn’t going to answer anything. I really just wanted to fix my hair.” And, in being true to her words this time, she secured her hair into a messy bun using the elastic Spencer didn’t even realize was missing from his wrist.

“I’m putting the cuffs back on.”

“No wait,” she pleaded, halting Spencer’s move to get up. “They really did hurt, I wasn’t lying about that.”

“I don’t care.” He made his way over, forcefully grabbing both of her wrists before securing the handcuffs back on. Spencer only regretted his actions slightly when she winced at the metal now back to pressing into her skin.

“Yes you do. It’s your biggest flaw.” Instead of answering, Spencer just returned to his seat, leaning back with crossed arms. He didn’t need to listen to a psychopath tell him his flaws.

“You care too much,” she continued, not minding if he was listening or not. “It gets you hurt, other people hurt. I wish that wasn’t the case. You deserve better, Doc.”

Spencer didn’t engage, opting to gawk tiredly at the suspect, and watch the way her eyes flicker across his features, gauging for a reaction. She wasn’t done.

“Hey, okay, fine. I’m just messing with you,” she laughed, finally breaking her serious facade. “What? A girl can’t joke around while she’s being accused of murder?”

“Accused? Or caught?”

“Accused.” It was final, her tone immediately dropping to a fiery rage. Her defenses were up, and Spencer was never really good at playing on the offensive team.

This time, it was Spencer’s turn to analyze, watching the way the blood rushed to her cheeks with her rising anger level. How all of a sudden her eyes lost their playful glint, giving him the chance to fully see the soul buried deep in them. For a split second, she was completely unveiled right before his eyes.

Spencer, clearly not anticipating just how long the girl in front of him could hold her own, used his last bullet.

He placed the crime scene photos in front of her.

“You know who did this.” It wasn’t a question, he saw it in her eyes. Spencer watched the way they remained stoic even after looking at the bloody walls, and vacant eyes of the deceased.

“No.” Oh, how the tables have turned.

“Who are you protecting?” Her head shot up at his question, eyes flashing red before she blinked it away again. Subconsciously, she started to pick at her fingernails.

“No one.” It was a lie if he’s ever heard one. 

Fear:

“You’re lying. Who is it?” 

“I’m not lying.” She wouldn’t even make eye contact with him. Instead, she gave her undivided attention to her shaky hands confined to the table.

“Yes, you are.”

“No, I’m not!”

“Enough! Who are you protecting?!” At this, Spencer stood up and slammed his hands against the table with a strong amount of force that she flinched hard enough to further irritate her wrists.

He felt awful, the bouncing back and forth between them should have given him enough indicators that she wasn’t lying out of spite. But he couldn’t back down, he had her cornered and her only way out was to tell the truth.

“No one.” She wouldn’t look at him, even as she whispered. “Please stop.”

Spencer truly believed that he had her in a bind, an inescapable one at that, but it wasn’t the truth. Oh no, what the profiler failed to realize was she had him where she needed him.

“I have no information to give you,” she whispered before tagging along. “I’m sorry.” It was the first time she apologized for something Spencer could have seen as an inconvenience.

He believed her, too.

“I shouldn’t have yelled.” That was his form of an apology. Spencer wasn’t going to go any further with it, even if she was coerced into lying by whoever the true unsub is, she was still getting on his nerves.

Her hands were still shaking at this point, and she wouldn’t meet his eyes. Spencer just slumped back into his seat, settling into the silence between them until ultimately he was either called out of the room, or she gave him another indication that her game hasn’t ended.

A loud sigh bounced off the walls. “I don’t care that you yelled in my face. You think it’s the first time a man’s done that? You’re not special, Doctor.”

“I never said I was.” So the game carries on, but this time, she didn’t smile at his sarcastic response. Leaning back in her chair, she huffed a breath before continuing.

“You really want to be though, don't you?”

Lust:

She was pushing his buttons, trying so hard to dig under his skin till she was unremovable. She wanted Spencer to leave this room with her on his mind for the rest of his days.

She was close too.

“No, I don’t,” Spencer deadpanned, trying to keep a cool tone. If he continued to hand her the ammunition she needed, he would be left defenseless.

“Oh come on, loosen up. I was just joking.”  A smirk grew across her features, a thought crossing her eyes. One Spencer knew would not be in favor of his win tonight. “I could help you with that, you know.”

“No, I don’t know.” He did. Spencer wasn’t going to lie to himself and say that the woman sitting across the table wasn’t extremely attractive; she was. He just would never admit it aloud.

“I have a feeling you like to get rough, don’t you, Doctor?” She asked, sitting up and crossing her legs. The stare shared between the two of them was a mix between passion and anger, meeting in the middle to create a new kind of emotion.

“Is this fun for you?” She left out bait, and Spencer was stupid enough to fall for it. Emily once said that a pretty face slashed his IQ in half.

He couldn’t help but agree.

“Undo these cuffs, and I’ll show you what fun is.” She was toying with him now, and they weren’t going to get anywhere, but Spencer couldn’t find it within himself to get up and leave. She had him by the...

“I’m going to get that confession.” It was like he was five years old again, arguing on the playground with the older kids about how their insults didn’t make sense.

“What’re you going to do, punish me?” She asked, the last words in a hushed whisper. When Spencer’s cheeks grew hotter, and his eyes darker, she knew she had him.

“You do like to get rough! My, my, Doctor, you're keeping me at the edge of my seat here.” She let out a boisterous laugh before really digging the knife deeper. “Is that why you kept the cuffs on?”

Before he could snap back, the door flew open and Emily stood there with a tablet in her hand. “You need to see this.”

Spencer got up to leave, thankful for the reprieve even if he did have to return to the interrogation after speaking with Emily. He almost made it to the door before a voice called out behind him.

“Wait!” She called after him, the cuffs rattled when she instinctively went to reach for Spencer. “Aren’t you going to answer my question, Doctor.”

Playing chess his whole life, Spencer had never once played a game where Checkmate presented itself unexpectedly. He was always at least three moves ahead in his mind, seeing the inevitable end before he even began his gameplay. There was a first for everything, because his last move suddenly arose.

“No.”

_____

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