#the games I get the most out of tend to be relatively short and self contained indie experiences

[canisalbus]

very random question and don’t feel obligated to reply but your style reminds me of dark souls/pathologic/those types of games in general. that might just be due to the historical context but i’m curious, are you a fan of games like that?

If I had to guess it could be just the vaguely historical setting, religious overtones and occasional darker themes? My knowledge on Dark Souls et al. is sparse at best, people have been telling me to give them a try but I haven't gotten around to it.

[lovelybrooke]

yay for the hades fandom getting hyped up! your self-aware concept for this game is genuinely fantastic, i can't get enough of it. i really can't think of sufficient praise, you characterize everybody so well, it meshes wonderfully with canon.

how about a scenario for zagreus (+ other characters of your choice) reacting to the player/reader coming back after a long period of inactivity? or how they felt during said absence?

(totally not inspired by me not touching the game for almost a year until this recent technical test came out, hahah)

This is just a quick overview of the House of Hades members and the Olympians, not the side characters. If you want me to cover them I will in another post.

masterlist

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The members of the House of Hades are the most worried when it comes to your inactivity, mainly because it affects Zagreus. Escape attempts don't stop just because you're not there, but it's obvious that he's a mess. He is short with people, more aggressive, and is getting himself killed more and more. Most of the occupants don't say anything, mainly out of fear for what the prince might do. But others, like Achilles, are more willing to point out his poor behavior. It's like he's a child who's lost his favorite toy. Achilles of course, also senses your absence, but he chooses to remain hopeful. This isn't the first time this has happened, you tend to come and go as you please, but you eventually come back. He can't help but worry though, maybe something has happened to you, maybe your absence is more permanent this time. He chooses not to think about that too often. Others like Nyx and Hades are more neutral about your absence, they are like Achilles in the sense that they try not to think about it too much, but in reality it's more complicated then they'd like to admit. They are both ancient beings, and it's worrying to see someone worm their way into their consciousness so easily. Love isn't the correct word, they can't exactly explain how they feel, but your absence has made them think more and more about what you mean to them, and it grows deeper and deeper every single day. Thanatos and Hypnos are more observant than others would think. They both sense the change in Zagreus pretty early on and are able to trace it back to the lingering presence of you. They learned early on that you were mysterious, your presence almost distant in a way. It was hard for them to feel you in the way Zagreus did, so when you left they didn't notice at first. It wasn't until the prince started acting up that they realized something must've changed. Hypnos attempts to distract Zag from everything through jokes and teasing, while Thanatos tends to be more blunt, demanding that Zag fix his attitude, however, while doing this, they're both struggling with lingering thought of you, wondering where you went and how you're faring . Others like Meg and Dusa are even affected by it, Meg especially. She's often more subjected to Zagreus's bad moods than others, since he becomes more brutal in his escape methods. Dusa already does everything in her power to avoid the prince, so lucky she isn't really facing Zagreus often. 

Once you return, things go relatively back to normal. Things are definitely still different, namely people are now more aware what the consequences are for you leaving. Zagreus makes an attempt to apologize for his--less than normal behavior, but for most it's already forgiven. None of them are exactly normal when you're gone, the House is hollow and clearly missing something. For a while, many of them assume it's Zagreus, his sudden shift affecting the mood of the House. Eventually they realize that it's deeper than that, and that you are at the center of it all. Many of them wonder if you're even aware of what is going on when you leave, if you're aware of the mess you leave them in. Regardless, it doesn't matter much once you're back. They all put in an effort to make everything seem normal in the hope that you won't leave again, or at least for not nearly as long. 

The Olympians

The Olympians have a much more different opinion on your absence. I don't know if I explained this anywhere, but in my head, the Olympians have a closer connection to you because of their ability to give Zagreus boons. These affinities become temporarily a part of Zagreus, and so it's a strange way of bringing you closer to them, since technically your presence is strongest in Zagreus. I don't know if I explained this well, but all you need to know is that they sense your absence much sooner, possibly right after Zagreus. Some of them, namely the older ones such as Zeus and Poseidon are less worried about your absence. Honestly, they find it funny how worried Zagreus is for you, this isn't the first time you've gone away, you should be back soon. The Olympians have a small scene of your otherworldly presence, and so are kinda able to assume that this is more than just randomly disappearing. Hermes and Dionysus take a more playful outlook, believing that it's a trick you're playing on all of them. Again, the Gods have more of a laidback outlook, if they thought you were in any danger they would act. The rest are more or less neutral about your disappearance, more worried about how it affects Zagreus. He's reckless, and while that means more fun for them, it means that he's more likely to die over and over and over, and no one wants to see that happen to family, even it they're used to it. 

Even though the Olympians are neutral about you being gone, they are overjoyed to see you back. I imagine that they are the few in game characters where it's obvious they are addressing you, the others are more subtle. So once you return they are actively addressing you. They know you aren't going to respond, so they don't do this often, but it's good to know you're back. At least now Zagreus will be getting back to normal.

[electricbluebutterflies]

Chris/Melissa + "give me your hands, i'll warm them up."

Post-6B, PG-ish, also on ao3.

They’re lost. Melissa is convinced.

She’s trying to be a good girlfriend – a goal that has never ended well for her, let her just point that out now, she’s very self-aware when making questionable life choices – and in her current dynamic that means tagging along to check the sensors in an unusually cold rainstorm because there is a Schedule and nothing short of a gateway to hell could throw Chris off-course… and even then, she thinks, he’d probably still keep routines as much as possible. The man has some definite trauma-related personality issues, and-

She’s not going to say anything. She is really, really trying to be a good girlfriend this time. Whatever her face does is not her problem.

She does enjoy these outings, when the weather is a little less questionable. She’s always been attracted to men who know what they’re doing, and this one… she doesn’t necessarily understand what he’s doing, or why he can’t manage to squirrel-proof the trackers, but she likes the intention of it, the repurposing of his past to help protect the people they love and-

“You could go back to the truck.”

She knows he means well. Ever since he came back from whatever dumbass adventure he went on south of the border – conveniently after Melissa started applying a don’t-ask-don’t-tell approach to anything supernatural that did not descend upon her house or her workplace – if not even earlier than that, she’s trusted his attentions. At worst, his idea of appropriate courtship is a little awkward, protective not minimizing, and-

“You’re not going to,” she counters.

“I’m much more used to the elements. I’m fine.”

Yeah no. While those two little words tend to be a little more dangerous in a significantly higher vocal range, they’re not exactly believable in this one either, and there’s probably a fun conversation they’re going to have later about what exactly happened to you to make you Like This and she’s pretty sure there’s enough wine in the house to get them through that one and-

“Bravado gets nowhere with me. Hasn’t since before my divorce. If you’re out here, I’m out here.”

This is, admittedly, a particular flavor of overkill. She’s reminded more and more often lately that she’s relatively petite and a little too human for most of the life choices that have been inflicted upon her in the past few years, and she’d never liked hiking before, she ran track in high school but that was a different skill set and also over twenty-five years ago and-

She’s a good girlfriend. That shouldn’t be such a part of her identity. Too bad.

Besides, this is at least more stimulating than her usual experience of hanging out in someone’s questionably clean apartment, pretending to watch some sports game on TV, and having disappointing sex. None of those issues apply this time, and it’s been such a delightful change of pace that she can forgive her frustrations, and-

“Give me your hands. I’ll warm them up.”

She does as she’s told, and there are moments she feels infinitely and beautifully small, her gloved hands entwined with her partner’s and-

“I did not know heated gloves were a thing,” she murmurs.

“They’re not… shit, did I forget to give you hand warmers?”

She takes no responsibility for what her face does, she reminds herself, and whatever displeased look she’s giving him is deserved. “Give me what?”

“Sounds like a no. Give me a moment.”

Chris reaches into one of his jacket pockets – it is truly unfair that he has pockets, let alone big enough ones to hold multiple purses worth of stuff – and pulls out two little orange gel things. “Ever use one of these?”

“No idea what you’re even holding.”

He does something with his hands to the packets and then hands them to her. “Slip these inside your gloves. Hold them. You’ll stay warm.”

She does, and the little things work, and-

“Onward?”

“Onward. Just a few more sensors to check…”

[noroi1000]

Hiya! Could i get a romantic matchup? I’m a gay demiboy. I’m 5’1” with a petite hourglass-pear body type (average chest, hourglass waist, thicc from the hips down). I have short dark brownish-auburn curly hair that tends to be more messy and fluffy, with big brown eyes with amber undertones, and long dark double layer eyelashes. I’ve got pale skin with tons of freckles and naturally pink lips that are a little on the fuller side. I’m also not very athletic and generally tend to be lazy, although i love to dance and explore places. My MBTI type is INFJ-T. I tend to be very prickly and defensive with strangers, and get snarky if someone bothers me. I am actually very shy and have a fear of strangers. I’m also easily startled. When you get to know me i am very chaotic and affectionate, and i tease people i’m close with. I also have a fiery temper and anger issues. Generally i’m chaotic good. In a relationship i am very cuddly, soft, and submissive, and can sometimes be clingy. My love language is physical touch and memes. I do struggle with several mental health issues, which are depression, anxiety, adhd, highly sensitive personality, low self esteem, and autism. My hobbies are video games, art, reading, and writing, and i want to be a botanist. I melt when given compliments, and struggle to accept them. I pretend to be tough but am actually a bit on the fragile side. I have a very eclectic music taste, and my favorite band is MÅNESKIN. My favorite colors are pink, green, grey, and yellow. I have a horrible sleep schedule, and often only manage to actually sleep every other night. 

I think your Jujutsu kaisen matchup is

Yuta Okkotsu

He is a quiet and sensitive person. You can put it that way, actually. He doesn't like too many strangers. It is even difficult for him to make friends. He often makes a bad first impression. He doesn't come close to them. You could say that he was previously paranoid about meeting people. He was just depressed and afraid of contacts. Once he made friends, he became very nice (and it really was just the real him).

On first acquaintance, he may appear silent and reluctant to get acquainted more closely. This changes over time. It is often surprising that he changes his character and world view. Namely, he is always quite cheerful, but his first impression will almost never come out.

He is very nice to friends. He tries to help and spend time. He certainly doesn't want to upset them or make someone hate him. However, if someone upsets him, he will persistently try to ensure that that person never harms others again. He can get very loud and scream without wrapping.

He likes to laugh. But making fun of someone else is not for him.

He had problems with mental illness for quite a long time. Actually, he didn't want to go anywhere, and even tried to kill himself. Friends help out of it. He has spoken to someone and everything works out. Even though he got rid of his worst thoughts, he is still afraid for his own life and that of his relatives. That's why he knows he has to protect them.

At first glance, he looks like a completely different person. He doesn't smile, he is gloomy and even sometimes emotionless.

He is one of the most affectionate and understanding people. He is sensitive and compassionate. And there's no denying that human life is something he doesn't care about. He tries to protect every human being. Whether he knows that person or not.

He also has sleepless nights. Or at least he hadn't slept before. He was scared and just couldn't sleep. He was tired. Later he started to look different. Though I think his sleep schedule is also incomplete. At certain times, he may still feel insecure and also lonely. This is why bad emotions may come back and not let him function normally.

However, he struggles with that smile. With a smile he tries to be as friendly as he can be. The smiles of others help him get rid of or mask bad experiences.

Headcanon:

• He certainly doesn't want you to feel worse. Mental health is just as important. Therefore, he doesn't want you to have to experience what he did before. You must be happy. After all, he loves it.

• Often times, he may act a little differently when he sees how you are acting. From a nice sweet person, you can turn into a more explosive one.

• He is very happy that he is no longer a stranger to you and you do not close yourself away from him. Especially since you don't shy away from contacting him.

• He loves your interests. It is not bad or dangerous (he may be oversensitive on this point at times). And it's also interesting. He fully supports and admires your passions and admires your passions. There are things you can do together and also separately. You don't need another person at every moment of your activity. Sometimes you have to focus on something. Additionally, your talents surprise him. But instead of feeling a little overwhelmed by the fact that someone can do a lot more than they do, and he also has more knowledge, he feels proud to have you for a very close person.

• He needs delicacy. Just love. The gentler person who will give him the greatest amount of comfort when he gives it to you.

• He is able to tell you very often how wonderful you are. Say he admires you a lot. Complete everything you do. It's just beautiful to him. He often blushes with a smile to show that he is happy. He may feel ashamed at times after what he says, but he had to say it. He couldn't keep such tender words within himself.

• Whenever he has time, he could come running to you to spend his free time cuddling. He really likes it. He loves the touch. Especially when you can calm him down. Not to mention the comfort that you feel then. He likes it when you hold his hands or cuddle him by hugging his waist and back tightly. Even though he loves being a big spoon in bed, he can be small.

You can laze together in bed without paying attention to anything.

• The important thing is that you give in to his pleas and just hug him. Even if you don't want to let him go later. But even if he goes somewhere for a moment, later he will come back ready for another dose of love.

"Come hug me. You deserve a reward and a rest after doing a lot. It's that nice and good. Come to me. You're so sweet."

[scorpiolight-madd]

I know you have multiple Sonic Paracosms and they seem to connect (like an expanded universe for Sonic Lore), did you struggle at all with creating your paracosm/lore/character interactions or was it relatively easy?

Are there any paras that you feel are underdeveloped in your paracosm?

Also do you have any paras that could be considered the 'star' (like most of the action happens to them or because of them) or does the role bounce around a lot?

Sorry for all the questions, but I am curious!!

YES YES YES YES YES

Ok I’m gonna answer these one at a time so strap in

Also don't apologize for asking questions, answering them is like my favorite thing in the world

Ok so for the first question there actually isn’t a lot of crossover save for one story arc in Rebellion (the sonic boom/underground crossover one, also sometimes referred to as SB:U or Trouble Keeps you Running Faster (or TKYRF for short) bc I struggled to name it for a while). In that arc, the Phantom Ruby ends up traveling through dimensions after Infinite’s defeat in the Reloaded dimension (which is the paracosm that’s just a rewritten version of the games with some OCs added).

Sage and the Infinite from Rebellion end up tracking it down, and Rebellion!Infinite feels a strange pull towards the Ruby, while Sage has analyzed it and believes that it will help her to more efficiently protect her family and allies. The two end up fighting over it, but Sage gets it, only for Reloaded!Infinite’s influence to corrupt her almost immediately, as he’s trapped inside the Phantom Ruby. (He was also the one drawing his alternate dimension self to take the Ruby)

Also it may be subject to change but here's what she looks like when she's under the Phantom Ruby's control

ANYWAYS a lot of stuff happens in that arc that im not gonna get into bc what's important to this question is that when she goes into the Phantom Ruby to confront Reloaded!Infinite, she ends up going into his memories and encountering facsimiles of the people he encountered in his dimension. They're not identical to how they actually appear in that paracosm, as their characterizations and even appearances are filtered through Infinite's perception of them.

So, while there is a crossover, the only actual crossover character interaction is between Sage and Infinite, and replicas of the cast from Reloaded.

As for underdeveloped characters, I'm not exactly sure. I feel that I have their characters all fleshed out pretty well, even down to the side characters. However, I do run into the problem of under-utilizing them pretty frequently, and that characters tend to not do much for the plot unless its an arc solely dedicated to them, like Amy's arc about losing her hammer, and how Knuckles seems kinda locked into his storyline about finding the Master Emerald shards, and neither of them do much outside of that.

Only a few characters straight up don't have their own arcs, like Silver.

The focus 100% bounces around depending on the story arc, sometimes even straight up focusing on complete side characters. Like I said before, Knuckles and Amy get their own story arcs, Knuckles recovering pieces of the Master Emerald and with it, his memories, and Amy losing her hammer and learning to not base her entire worth and identity on one singular skill. There's also Sonic re-bonding with his siblings, Sonia learning to let herself relax and not forcing herself to take on the burden of the entire rebellion, and Manic's character arc about trying to hide his PTSD from being held captive bc he doesn't want his siblings to split apart again, and how he eventually discovers healthy coping mechanisms to help him recover.

There's ALSO the birth of Team Chaotix, with Espio being introduced as an antagonist with a bunch of other mercenary side characters, until Vector finds out that he's just a struggling teenager trying to take care of his little brother.

WOAG THATS A LOT OF TEXT anyways thank youuuuuuuu for the questions

[angstmonsterwrites]

I was today years old when I learned Prozac/Fluoxetine prescriptions of >50mg in young adults and teens are now known to cause dopamine deficiencies that can persist and worsen with age or additional severe stressors. In layman's terms, it can block dopamine receptors and production in favor of serotonin. Unfortunately, like so much else, when it was new, most clinical studies had only been done on white, relatively fit men in their early to mid 20's.

I was prescribed a dosage of 80mg when I was 16, and remained on it until I was 20, when I weened myself off because it felt like it was suppressing all of my emotions. I'd have the notion of being happy or angry, but it felt like a muffled thing in back of my head--an idea, as opposed to a feeling I was allowed to experience. I do not believe this prescription was made in good faith, but I won't get into that story here. Suffice it to say it was a form of medical abuse with a clear underlying motive. Even back then, dosages that high were usually reserved for more severe, self-destructive cases--not well behaved teens with high anxiety because their alcoholic parents were failing to be adults.

This frames the last 18 or so years of my life a bit differently. Dopamine isn't *just* related to reward. It regulates motivation, concentration, sleep, and works in tandem with oxytocin in social bonding. Individuals with a dopamine deficiency often also struggle with a consequent oxytocin imbalance as well.

Meanwhile, one of my deepest grievances with myself has long been that I tend give up very easily on any number of projects or goals, constantly discouraged by a stubborn internal resistance that tells me that anything I want to achieve is simply too much of a stretch. I've had to watch a lot of my own ambition die or get shelved. Additionally, even with healthier relationships, I've struggled with feeling secure in those attachments, sometimes to the point of being bogged down in a sense of unreality about them. I also deal with some fairly harsh rejection sensitivity. The kind of emotional trauma I grew up with and experienced into my early 20's certainly laid the groundwork for these types challenges as an adult, but it didn't have to be this bad. There's a lot of fear and anxiety that I probably could have pushed past and healing that could have been done earlier with enough motivation, focus, and external support. But I was chemically robbed of a great deal of the first two, and my ability to seek out the third was further hamstrung. My choices were still my own--I still own the responsibility for them--but my ability to make the best ones was sabotaged.

In short, adding a dopamine deficiency to a traumatized brain is like dumping out a gasoline can labeled "Depression+ADD spectrum disorders" onto a raging fire, resulting in a thick, choking neurological smoke that makes processing the trauma itself very difficult, and lowers quality of life in the meantime.

(Because I'm a nerd among other nerds, here's a close fictional parallel I think fits: Mages forced to be tranquil in the Dragon Age games.)

The good news is that dopamine receptors and production can be repaired to proper functioning again through both OTC treatments and temporary prescriptions in more severe cases.

But no one can give me back those 18 years of my life to redo with the bare minimum internal resources I should have had, and I'm pretty fucking bitter about that.

Sources, provided to me by a medical/psychiatric professional:

[paintedscales]

day: What does your OC wear on a normal day? Why do they default to those clothes? Do they wear similar things, or do they change it up? wardrobe: How big is your character's wardrobe? Do they wear things threadbare, or can they afford new clothes often? Are they any good at mending and repairing their own clothing?

Hiii! Thanks for the ask! :D These are a lot of questions! • w •!! I'll put them under a read more since I know I tend to have a lot to write! ^^

OC Asks: Character Design Edition

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What does your OC wear on a normal day?

On a normal day, especially in recent time, Nomin can be found wearing a loose-fitting jacket and shirt combo that kind of is treated like a short dress almost! She also chooses to wear sheer tights and some ankle-high boots. She'll also wrap her hands, and often wear a flower in her hair (this yellow dahlia can be seen in a lot of her outfit choices, too!)

Why do they default to those clothes?

They're all relatively easy to throw on for the most part. The shirt and jacket especially. She doesn't like complicating her mornings. Things that take a long time to get dressed into feels like a waste of time, and is generally saved for more important events where she is expected to get dressed up. Out of her routine, ideally, the thing that should take the longest time to do is braid her hair or wrap her hands.

Do they wear similar things, or do they change it up?

That outfit is actually the only one like that that she prefers as opposed to her robes or deel from the Steppe. It's a more city-focused fit that she's adopted. Otherwise, her travel clothes are a lot more involved. Especially pending on where she's traveling.

How big is your character's wardrobe?

The only reason Nomin's wardrobe would be big is because of me and how I just like making outfits (shoves all my Style Savvy, Shining Nikki, and other dress-up games under my bed). Ideally, Nomin's wardrobe is actually pretty small to fit in with her largely nomadic nature. She would have casual clothes, small clothes (maybe a good few pair of them as the only thing she has multiples of), light travel clothes (for temperate and desert travel), and heavy winter clothes (when winter would hit, or if she was in the Tail Mountains).

I suppose I could say that with her more stationary life on the island sanctuary, that affords her wardrobe space to have a myriad of clothes and styles that she's fond of from traveling. Though it's also possible that she'd just leave them in there till the time was 'right' to wear them (so for events).

Do they wear things threadbare, or can they afford new clothes often?

Nomin doesn't really like her clothes getting aged and tattered, and will repair what she has when she can. Though if things are torn or ripped beyond repair, she'll generally go out of her way to buy something new. If the hems are coming loose, or if there are small scuffs and tears, she doesn't really mind too much. But if it's becoming a problem, then yeah, she has to do something about it before it gets worse.

With her understanding of trade and bartering on the Steppe, I'd also go out on a limb and say that Nomin is very conscientious of her money, saving it, and being able to afford new clothing items. Only if she wanted, though. Probably the only major disagreements she gets into now with Estinien are about his lack of understanding money and commerce.

Are they any good at mending and repairing their own clothing?

Moderately. It's all self-taught stuff, so things can get stitched, but it's not going to be invisible because of a 'pro-seamstress' touch' or whatever. You'd be able to tell when Nomin has repaired her stuff, because the stitching will be tight and maybe even a little crumpled.

When it comes to her stuff, she's very meh about it. Though I can guarantee you that if she is repairing anything for Estinien or her children, she'll make a larger effort to make sure her repairs aren't easily seen (she's not the best at it, but she's getting better).

[boredpathologist]

📀💤💗for the ask game!

//Thank you for the ask!! I did 💤in a previous post :D also lol i think this got lost momentarily, and then made its way back into my inbox? tumblr is a Webbed Site.

📀 How easy is it to shock your OC? To confuse them? To lie to them, to manipulate them? How are they with feelings of trust? Can your OC be trusted?

Had to think about this one for a while - it's a really good set of questions. I think Mattia wouldn't be too shocked by most things that would shock other people - he's seen a good deal of Weird Shit from being a Giovanni and also just Med School. He'd still get grossed out from things - he ruined a potential friendship once by being unable to conceal his aversion to her dietary habits (flesh, rather than blood). But I think he's relatively even keeled in that regard.

Confusing him would be a lot easier. He's so wired that acting in a way that he doesn't think makes sense could short-circuit him. There was one notable instance in which one of his allies suddenly became obsessed with the jacket he was wearing and he short-circuited so hard that he threw the jacket away.

Mattia's pretty trusting of his family (especially those who are older/lower generation), whereas others are often subject to higher scrutiny before he would consider letting them into his circle of trust. He tends to trust people who are interested in similar things to him far faster than people he shares fewer interests with.

He can mostly be trusted - which is about as good as you can say for pretty much anyone in WoD I think. He would never divulge something told to him in confidence, unless he was asked to very specifically by someone he respects as an authority figure.

💗 What would your OC say is their best feature? Why? What do their friends / family / lover(s) / people they know think is their best feature and why?

Mattia is both a bit vain and also deeply self-conscious of his appearance. He thinks he looks fine, but he knows he looks like he just stepped out of his own grave and that might bother other people. He would say his best feature is his nose - even though it was broken when he died and never healed. It just looks nice and balanced on his face, he thinks.

Other people would probably not choose his nose as his best feature - rather his hands, perhaps. He's got nice, long fingers which were useful in practicing at med school.

[grayfilmsandstuff]

Hey there friendo! Could I get a funky madcom matchup? I'm fine with whoever (๑¯∇¯๑) This is also gonna be hella disjointed, so I apologize in advance (╥w╥)

I'm 4'11 with super dark brown eyes and hair and a baby face; most people always think  I'm much younger than I actually am (I'm 20, but just look like a forever teen I guess) I've got dreadlocks that go a little past mid back, freckles, beauty marks and light patches all over my body (not sure if its vitiligo or not), and I wear prescription sports goggles instead of normal glasses since the straps make me less likely to lose them, and Im accidentally rough on stuff sometimes

Agender, aroace with leaning for gender neutral and neopronouns, but i dont really care much in the end ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

I've got a metric shit-ton of mental illness, so my mental state is Wack™, tho I'll point out my ADHD and Autism since those are my most prominent. Paradoxical is the best word to describe me cuz I can range from feral gremlin memelord to so-quiet-you-forget-Im-there (I accidentally scare people alot cuz of this). Relatively apathetic emotionally, and I can sometimes struggle with social cues, I'm also very childish, hyperactive and immature, and can be blunt and straight forward with my words. I have a trash sense of humor (I'll basically laugh at anything), tho I do enjoy dark, self-deprecating, and/or inappropriate jokes the most. Since most people see me as "ignorant baby", I like fucking with them by just saying the weirdest shit or casually cursing because I can. Honestly, the amount of memes, shitposts, and copypastas that I've memorized just for the sake of a joke, is amazing.

I'm academically smart to a degree, with a leaning towards the sciences, maths, and engineering. Mostly a big psychology and astronomy nerd and really big into art. I've gotta bunch of sketchbooks and folders full of drawings, (mostly character designs), from over the years and too many damn color pencils (that I will continue to add on too, because fuck yeah colors). I'm really into transformers, comics, anime, video games, and true crime. I like to lift weights and have questionable eating habits (forgetting to eat is a problem of mine so I always have snacks on me, and I tend to eat things I really shouldnt; Ex. Chalk) and basically eat like a famine survivor when it comes to food. I practically inhale my food and I tend to get aggressive if someone tries to interact with me while I'm eating or cooking. All and all tho, I'm mostly here to vibe and just live in the moment.

I have a lot of cat-like habits and tend to headbutt, rub up against, and bite and/or lick people who I like; walk on my toes alot; and prefer small spaces over wide open ones. I'm also really flexible, so it's not odd to causally find me weird ass positions. Gets the nyoomies randomly and struggles with volume control (not helped by me being slightly hard at hearing), so I'll usually pace around while talking and making random noises (echolocalia basically, and I'll mostly beep, meow, trill, make Kirby noises "poyo!", etc.,), and also hand flappy! I also like to sing to myself and have a really great range (mostly on the higher end of the spectrum), as well as decent voice acting capabilities! I mirror things alot, so if I interact with someone long enough, I'll subconsciously start mimicking them and their habits (mostly verbal quirks and accents, but physical quirks too sometimes). Very much prefer hot and humid weather and get real tried/hibernate when it gets colder. For that reason, I've got a huge nest of soft blankets, pillows, and stuffed animals.

i.. . .this was so long.. . .. i love you thank you for sending in a request but note for people in the future please don't make your requests this long it makes it rough on me

this is a good example of the longest request i'll take and this is a good example of the shortest use this to your advantage

i match you wiiiiiith...

Hank!

- Hank isn't sure where you came from but he returned to the bunker with you one day and after the shock factor was over, everyone accepted it and welcomed you in

- they really like your goggles, sometimes they'll point to their own and then point to you, saying that you were matching :}

- he's got a wack mental state too, so he understands a lot of what you're going through and helps you with social cues from the other three, and just is there in general to help out

- you also help them if they feel like they need to lean onto you for comfort or help

- he actually thinks your bluntness is helpful because he's the kind of person is mostly oblivious and doesn't understand what you're saying unless you say it directly and say exactly what you mean

- they love making you laugh at the silliest things. if makes them really happy knowing that they can make you smile or laugh no matter what the circumstances are

- a lot of the time when you say a meme or a copypasta in front of him he won't understand and will ask you what it means

- "one bad gloop and she do what i yoinky two big splurgs and a big gloopy three more yoinks, then i buy me a smoothie poured up a gloop, that's a gloop and a splurgy"

- "...i'm sorry what"

- they really look up to how smart you are and it fascinates them when you'll just ramble about a topic because they know that means you're really interested in it

- you love drawing and a lot of the time you give your assorted doodles to Hank. he loves and cherishes them because what the heck how are you so talented??

- they get onto you for eating things you shouldn't. they want you be happy and healthy, not just the former

- he also enjoys watching you cook whenever you do! he tries his best to help but the big guy has no idea how you do it

- they LOVE your cat-like habits. they love cats. period. any time you'll meow or rub up against them they just melt entirely

- the first time you picked up on something he said and started mimicking it, his initial reaction was :O but it grew more into a :D

thanks for the request! i tried to keep it short with all that you provided me, have a good day my friend

[thebountyfucker]

Embo Relationship Alphabet

My take one the Embo Relationship NSFW Alphabet. (First done by@justanotherstarwarswhore) The format is from Din Djarin (SFW + NSFW 18+ Alphabet Combo) by ChicanaStardust

A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex) Embo values his partners, and unlike some other bounty hunters, he prides himself in caring for them. He is aware in the importance of aftercare, especially after intense scenes, and is the first to initiate aftercare. He enjoys giving massages (though they can be unintentionally rough due to his incredible strength) and will even go as far as helping his partner to bathe if they request it.

B= Body part (What’s their favourite body part on themselves, and their partner?) Just as @justanotherstarwarswhore said, Embo is not vain. He sees himself as a functional whole, for a lack of a better description. He is a hunter, he is a warrior... as long as he can fulfill these duties, he doesn't much care about how he looks. He is neither vain nor insecure in his appearance, though he is aware that his more alien biology is not a turn-on for everyone. As for his partner, Embo, again, sees them as a whole person. He doesn't like breaking his partners down into 'favorite parts' because there is more to a partner than looks. He does have a certain fascination with breasts, only because Kyuzos don't have them. Doesn't mean he likes them better or more, he just finds them amusing.

C = Cum (Anything to do with cum, basically) Embo cums - a lot. He can orgasm over and over again, unlike humans. It's hot, and a bit sticky, and he produces more than many species. He doesn't have a favorite place to cum, but there is a certain pleasure in watching it leak out of a partner. (It tastes sweeter than human cum, but it has a bit of a metallic after-taste)

D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?) & Dirty secret (self-explanatory) Eventually, yeah, probably. He grew up around kids and finds them delightful, so he'd probably want to have them at some point. He does intend to retire from hunting, but not soon. He considers himself at the top of his game and doesn't want to waste that opportunity. He is a neat-freak and a wonderful cook, though he tends to cook spicy, ethnically-Phatrongi food.

As for a dirty secret, I think he got around quite a bit when he was younger. Generally during his training days on Phatrong. Kyuzos, other than their weaker lungs, are incredibly hearty and rarely get sick. He didn't feel like he had to worry about STDs. When he left Phatrong, though, he slowed down a bit. He still sometimes sleeps with other bounty hunters. (What else are you going to do when you spend weeks on a ship alone?)

E = Experience (how experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?) Going back to the previous point, I think he's quite experienced with pleasuring partners of any gender. Of course, he's most experienced with those that share his same biology. He's still learning about how to please other species, but that doesn't mean he's bad at it.

F = Fiancé (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?) Embo would be the type to settle down with a long-term lover or two, but I don't think he's the marrying type. He feels that marriage is kind of a scam and complicates otherwise fine relationships.

G = Goofy (are they the serious type or more humorous?) Embo is very serious - it comes with the job. He might try to quip or crack jokes, but they usually fall short because Kyuzan jokes don't make much sense to outsiders.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? Does the carpet match the drapes? Etc.) & Head (Giving and receiving) No hair, upstairs or downstairs. He doesn't mind hair on his partner. He also doesn't mind partners without hair. To him, hair is inconsequential. He likes giving and receiving head.

When he's in a situation where he can eat a partner out, he will gladly do so. (He's got quite the tongue, though his sharper teeth do pose a slight threat to the nethers. He's careful, though) He likes receiving enough that he won't ever turn it down, but it's not a required sexual act for him.

I = I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?) & Intimacy (How intimate are they during sex?) It would be rare to hear that from Embo. He's a bounty hunter, and despite how much he may care for a partner, he does need to keep a certain distance. Without doing so, it could put his partner in danger.

He's intimate, surprisingly! He's very worshipful and reverent, but good luck getting any emotional intimacy out of him (for the prior reason).

J = (Jealousy and Jack off/Handjob combo) Embo, jealous? No! Or at least that's what he'd say if a

partner asked. And, to an extent, it's true. However, if a partner were to flirt with, or be flirted with, one of his immediate rivals, he would likely be a bit upset. He masturbates sometimes, but not often.

K = Kisses that lead into kinks (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed? What are one or more of their kinks?) Kissing Embo is... difficult. Circumstances have to be exactly correct (there has to be oxygen enough for him and his partner to both breathe relatively comfortably, which is difficult to achieve). He likes it... it just doesn't happen often.

I agree with@justanotherstarwarswhore that Embo likely has a size kink. It's hard not to, given his height. Otherwise, Embo is what I like to call 'a sexual chameleon', meaning that he will engage in mostly any kinks that his partner requests. (Within limits, of course).

L = Location (Favorite place to do the do.) I'd say bedroom, bathroom, kitchen... anywhere in a private home, really.

M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?) & Motivation (What gets them going?) Embo is an early riser. Like... early. He'd get up, meditate, drink some tea, and probably do some tidying around his place before his partner ever wakes. When they do wake, he'd already have breakfast ready.

Clear communication is the thing the gets him going the most. But, he's also into a partner sitting on his lap and grinding against him.

N = No (something that is a turn off? ) He's up for almost anything, but I do think age play and scat/vomit play are off the table.

O = Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?) Good luck getting him to reveal anything about his personal life unprompted. He's rather closed off, though if one was to ask about his past, he might answer.

P = Pace (are they soft and sensual? Or are they rough and feral?) & PDA (are they open to displaying the relationship?) Both. He does as his partner desires, but his 'rough and feral' can be too much for many people. (Man's strong as hell! Without full cognizance of his strength, he can do serious damage.)

PDA is... very rare. Again, he is a hunter. He doesn't care as much about his public image as he does about his partner's safety.

Q = Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?) Embo remembers a lot. He's more of a listener than a speaker, after all. Sometimes, he can bring things up that even his partners don't remember telling him.

R = Risks (are they game to experiment? Do they take risks?) It depends, really. Does he experiment? Most definitely. Will he partake in things that he's tried and doesn't care for? Depends on the partner. He partook in much riskier behaviors when he was younger.

S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?) Embo is very protective. His business is dangerous. His enemies, even more so. He would protect his partner with his life.

T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?) The Kyuzo don't celebrate anniversaries, so he wouldn't think anything of them. He would spoil his partners on dates, though, taking them to fancy restaurants and on expensive vacations.

U = Unfair (How much they like to tease.) He would like a bit of teasing, but he wouldn't say that it's the primary turn-on for him. He would also tease his partner a little, but nothing too extreme.

V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?) & Volume (Are they loud during sex?) Again, Embo is not vain. He doesn't care about how his body looks, but he does take pride in keeping his uniform/armor as clean as possible. (Obviously, he can't always keep it clean... but he tries). He's rather quiet, but he does hiss and growl sometimes.

W = Whole/wildcard (What's a random headcanon for the character?) Embo doesn't wear much clothes around his home.

X = Xtra & X-Ray (Random Headcanon/ What’s Underneath those clothes) Embo and his partners sometimes have ritual sex to appease his goddess. Embo's cock is quite large - it's longer than most humans', and thicker. There are nodes at the top of his cock which are adept at rubbing internal pleasure points (g-spot, a-spot, etc.) He also has internal balls.

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?) In terms of how long he can go when sex has started? It's incredibly high. He can and has fucked for hours and hours without tiring. In terms of how often, I would say the higher-end of average.

Z = Zzzzz (What is a sleep habit of theirs?) Embo sleeps very little and very lightly. It's biology and training at this point. He'll sleep for five hours at night, and then sometimes take a quick cat nap during the day.

[pebblysand]

[writing rant - on filler words]

[yes, i should be writing castles but here i am giving you unwarranted writing advice instead. sue me.]

this morning, you might have seen me reblog this post on filler words. it's a classic, very typical piece of writing advice where the author lists a number of filler words/sentences that you should scrape from your writing to appeal to publishers or make your prose seem more professional or whatever. i reblogged it saying: 'i disagree with most of these, don't listen to people who tell you how to write.' which a couple of you liked (cheers!) but upon reflection, i feel like this needs a bit more of a nuanced response, which is what i'm doing now. i'm not reblogging the post again because it's long and this is going to be long, and tumblr isn't necessarily text-friendly but do go read it first if you fancy.

now, as far as i'm concerned, the truth isn't that i think filler words are amazing and that you should keep them all, love them all equally like your precious children. of course, you should watch out for them. just like we do when we speak, we fill our written sentences with a lot of pointless fluff that brings nothing to our message. when used "wrongly," filler words slow down sentence pacing, hurt the rhythm of your prose, your ability to choose the correct lexicon for certain actions, etc. they're not always good, and you should definitely be aware of them in your prose.

however, what i dislike about these types of posts is the way people dispensing this "writing advice" make whatever they're saying sound like some sort of golden rule. like: if you don't do this, your story will be shit and never get published. i don't know much about the publishing world but i have written 300,000+ words of mildly successful fanfiction over the years, so i do know a thing or two about writing as a craft, if not a business. and, here's the raw, honest truth: believing that anything about this crazy art we're making is set in stone? that is the kind of thing that will make you a shit writer.

now, if you're following this blog, i'm guessing you like my writing, are probably quite familiar with it. then, this will not be a surprise to you: while i don't pretend to hold any sort of truth on the matter, god knows, i use a shit ton of filler words. by which i mean: a SHIT TON. take any paragraph of any fic i've ever written and i'm sure i could point you to some random word "botox" in pretty much every sentence. this post itself, if you're paying close attention, is also filled with them. and, another surprise: i know that. it's by design.

and, that, my friends, is what matters most. you should watch out for filler words, be aware of them, but if they end up in your final draft, it has to be for a reason. in fairness, i think that's where most of those writing advice posts get it "wrong" and why they annoy me so much: they tell part of the story, but not all of it. they talk about words in a vacuum like our words only exist to be pretty on a page, rather than to share something with other human beings.

now, as a disclaimer, i should preface this by saying that: it depends what kind of writing you're into. this is all very related to personal taste. as a reader, i tend to prefer stories that are told from a very distinct pov, where the story is told by a character rather than by the author. this preference also informs my writing. to me, a story can be first person or third person, it doesn't really matter, but i like a good old restrictive, terribly biased and unreliable pov in a story. i'm someone who 100% favours character over plot (although plot is terribly important too, don't get me wrong) and i like a person to tell me a story, not a robot.

in that context, "filler words" aren't just sentence "botox," they tell a story, too. they tell you who your narrator is. in a post like this, they inform you that i probably speak quickly, that i'm somewhat bubbly but assertive, that my sentences are long and rhythmic, and when i write "in fairness" rather than "to be fair," or "to be honest," it even hints to the fact that my main dialect is hiberno-English. in a work of fiction, filler words can tell you mountains about where your character is from, what they think, feel, etc... are their sentences short and devoid of any filler words? perhaps, they are extremely poised and self-confident, or perhaps they are so detached from what is happening that they are actually on the verge of an emotional breakdown. are their sentences filled with "just"s and "you know"s and "slightly"s and "really"s? perhaps they are insecure, unsure of what their next move will be.

filler words are also where style and pet peeves happen. you'll notice that i use "and:" and "like:" as sentence openers relatively often. it depends on the work and how i feel about the character, but it is something i enjoy playing with. i use 'rather' and 'perhaps' frequently, too, frankly for no other reason than the fact that i like the sound of them. not everyone does, obviously, but since i'm the queen of my own fictional kingdom, i get to authoritatively decide to abuse them. that og post said to not use "that" as a conjunction (prefer: "he said he wouldn't," to: "he said that he wouldn't). man, aside from dialogue, i hate "he said he wouldn't" with a passion. i always use "that" as a conjunction and detest the way my sentences sound without it. i find the absence of "that" clunky and unclear. i don't know whether it is right or wrong, but that's how i roll. the people of the internet seem to like it but if they don't, they're more than welcome to read the work of another author who doesn't use "that" as a conjunction. i'm not holding a gun to their head.

however, as you've probably guessed from the above, this doesn't mean that you shouldn't be aware of your filler words. both yours and your characters'. know what you like, what you don't like, how your narrator narrates and how your characters speak. know how you speak and write, what your strengths and weaknesses as a writer are. edit your work critically. this being said, scraping all the words that make the work special is ludicrous. you would be scraping your work of so much personality that could actually be what makes it unique. writing is an art, not a game of exactitude. if the goal was to write everything perfectly, you could ask siri or alexa to write your short story for you. where you need to be careful with filler words is for them to serve your story, rather than hurt it. the filler words? they need to be carefully considered, questioned, and you need to make sure that they are intentional, not accidental.

and, of course, that's the hard part. that's the part of the writing advice these posts never get into because making blanket statements in the world is always easier than saying: it depends. creating a work of art out of thin air isn't as easy as cmd+f-ing all the "just"s and hitting "delete all." it's noticing which of those filler words you overuse, and keeping them in the back of your mind while you edit, taking a lot of them out. it's listening to your beta/editor when they tell you to take more out. it's also sitting for hours in front of your word document, contemplating every sentence and asking: should i use "just" here? does it show anything? does it have a purpose? does it sound right? let me read this out loud. and, what about the "eventually" there? does that sound natural? is that more of dialogue thing?

that's the line of critical thinking that will make you write better. and, don't get me wrong, posts like the above are useful as a guide in the way that they tend to list the most frequently used filler words, which you can then use as an inspiration to spot these idiosyncrasies in your writing, decide whether to scratch them or use them creatively. but: i'm sorry to say, there's no golden rule to it all. just hard work and practice. trust yourself.

i hope this helps.

[fromtheplanethexagon]

the robot problem: a critical look at tobecky, 5 years late

hello wordgirl fandom i am back :) and i have a lot of thoughts that i never got around to expressing before i moved on from the show. so be aware that everything i'm saying is based on my experiences during the 2012-2016 era of the fandom & state of tumblr in general, and i am not familiar with more recent fan content.

it's been over five years since the show ended, and @ifbrd​ reminded me (along with some great analysis) that while tobecky was super popular since before the show technically started (thanks to the play date shorts), it's pretty unhealthy in a lot of ways that tend to be excused or flat out ignored in fanworks. i'd like to reflect on that a bit (a lot); specifically, how both the show and the fandom approached this enemies-to-lovers ship, and how easily this ship can slip into uncomfortable territory if we're careless about how we interpret the ship and create fan content of it.

i will admit, i'm mostly writing this as a response to past me and my old creations - though i moved on from the show as a whole years ago, i do like taking the time to reflect on old interests once in a while, and reevaluating my thoughts on them. and this ship is probably the biggest one that still lurks in the corners of my mind once in a while, so let's go.

cherish is the word: a short positive note before a much longer negative one

i wanted to start this essay off with some positivity, because i am going to be very negative after this. tobecky was, in some ways, cute. it's obvious from the very beginning that these two characters are on pretty equal ground, even if one of them isn't aware of it. and that's part of the fun - the irony of how unaware tobey is that his nemesis/crush/person that pretty much always wins against him is someone that he completely dismisses as incompetent. i want to point this out because honestly, in general i don't like enemies-to-lovers because a lot of them use a power imbalance within the dynamic, and i hate power imbalances, especially when it comes to actual life-or-death scenarios (at least, as much as cartoons can do that). in most episodes, becky is never actually forced to go along with his wishes. she's not held in a 'date' against her will, nor is she ever really outwitted by him. i bring this up because there is one huge, uncomfortable exception, which i will get to later.

another big plus to the ship is the fact that they just... get along? even when fighting? of course we get brief moments where they just hang out and talk about paintings or whatever, but i'm talking about how much they get each other, even if they don't realize it. like the word banter, for example. been there since day one. becky loves words, and while most other people in her life don't really care (ranging from 'eh, that's cool i guess' to her brother calling it annoying), tobey gives her a chance to show off and thus treats her as a worthy adversary as herself, not because of her more generic superpowers - something that we've seen in canon that she feels self-conscious about (see: her motivation in patch game). one of the less noticed examples, to me, is "it's your party and i'll cry if I want to", because it's just - okay. they both are excluded from a social event, and while it's obvious that tobey deals with it by destroying the city, it's also pretty obvious that becky also deals with her frustration by fighting in that battle. like, yes, realistically it's just objectively bad that he's destroying buildings. but they're also providing each other with a way to work through their frustrations, first by fighting and then by talking things out, and finally by hanging out together instead of dwelling on being excluded from the party.

so it makes a lot of sense to me that many tobecky fans gravitated towards writing far-in-the-future fic, usually by implying that some growth had taken place before starting to write the ship. (there are, as far as i'm aware, 2... maybe 3 exceptions, that take the time to attempt a real redemption for him, at least when i left the fandom.) because if you take away his worst moments, either by reasoning out that he was 10 years old and a mess, or that he was a cartoon character in a cartoon world where everyone's actions are over-the-top, or by just flat-out pretending that certain episodes never happened, there's some pretty solid ground to start a ship on.

go gadget go: we all do not see it, we simply close our eyes (review of canon)

when the show began, i was the same age as the characters. a lot of other people were, too - at least in my cohort of the fandom. i think it's pretty safe to say that many of us have fond memories of the show's earlier seasons, and held on to that interest as we got older, for whatever reasons. so like, not to be all 'as an OG fan...', but i remember seeing the shorts air for the first time in 2006. i have a diary entry in july of 2009 about how i, a 12yo with no concept of the idea of 'shipping', was disappointed in the new tobey episode because i wanted more tobecky interactions. (that was robo-camping, btw, lol.) and so i remember how exciting their rivalry felt, watching them as someone literally their exact same age, and then watching that again as a nostalgic 17yo, and then uh... growing up, to put it frankly, and realizing just how unhealthy most of their interactions were.

okay what i meant to say was, this section is an overview of the relationship's canon portrayal throughout the years.

first, we have early tobecky: this includes the shorts and the first few seasons. this is their classic relationship: he likes her and takes robots on rampages to get her attention, she majorly disapproves and has fun taking him down. we've all seen the show, you know what i'm talking about. his backhanded ways of trying to find out her identity often feature prominently in the episodes, which - sigh, i've mentioned this whole issue before, but it's kind of a grey area in the whole uncomfortable-factor thing, because while trying to find out her identity is VERY invasive, it's something that like... everyone in the show tries to do, even her canon crush (scoops). on the one hand, it's really not a great look, but on the other hand, this is a cartoon meant to parody a genre in which this trope is extremely common. so i just wanna say that i have Issues and Thoughts on this aspect of their relationship, but there are other things i find more important to discuss here.

second, we have late tobecky: this is seasons 7-8. this is... a very strange and huge shift from the previous dynamic, though it's not necessarily obvious. what i mean by that is that for some reason, the show writers made it so that half of tobey’s rampages have nothing to do with his crush on wordgirl, even though that used to be the sole reason for his villainy. seriously. we have the birthday episode, where he's upset because he feels left out; wg vs tobey vs the dentist, where he's mad that he has a cavity; and trustworthy tobey, where his robot goes on a rampage... after becky accidentally makes it malfunction. the two outliers are ‘guess who’s coming to thanksgiving dinner’ and ‘patch game’, but they still differ from previous seasons because 1) his destruction is isolated to a forest far away from the city, and 2) his motive is still to impress wordgirl, but his methods are relatively tame. also he completely gives up on the secret identity thing??? i may have missed some things but i think he straight up tells her 'yeah there's no way you're wordgirl, lol' and the subject is just dropped for the rest of the show.

i also want to include 'the robot problem' here, because it's one of two season 6 tobey episodes, and follows the 'doesn't destroy buildings to get her attention' pattern: in fact, he teams up with her to try and stop someone else from going on a rampage (even if his reasons are selfish, lol).

and finally. the other season 6 episode. we have go gadget go, the bane of my time spent in the fandom. because GGG is the single episode where tobey truly manages to take away her autonomy, and proceeds to abuse that power for an extended period of time, for his own amusement. it's bad. it's Very Bad. put in the context that it's a white boy doing this to an (ambiguously) brown girl, it's REALLY REALLY BAD. and the more i look back on it, tbh, the more weirded out i am that the show not only made it seem like she wasn't affected at all within the episode, it just... forgot about it (which is not unusual for shows and especially children’s shows, but WG does make some efforts to either retain continuity or create canon reasons for why things are forgotten about). it's the kind of thing that you can't excuse and honestly you can't redeem (like at this point, you gotta ask yourself why you're spending so much effort trying to redeem this guy when becky has several other possible ships that are nowhere near this unhealthy - violet, scoops, honestly even victoria if you want another hero/villain ship, my absolute fave rarepair rose, etc).

so if you want to still ship it you have to just pretend that it never happened. (i remember trying for weeks to write something exploring the aftermath of this episode, to try and make myself feel better about it, but the more i wrote the more i realized just how traumatic this event should've been, so i eventually just dropped it.) and i brought up my own timeline of experiences earlier to point out that this episode aired eight whole years after the show started. which means that when i saw it, even though i was a huge stickler for canon at the time, i'd built up my own idea of the show and characters strongly enough to go 'yeah, no, this episode sucks and i am going to pretend that it doesn't exist'. and i think a lot of other people did too, because i really saw like... no one mention it, ever, except for some rogue fanfics over on ff dot net that already liked dynamics like that.

because here's the thing, and i don't know if people nowadays are aware of it? but i'm 80% sure (cannot find a source, so the other 20% is that it was just a rumor) that the show was originally supposed to end after season 6. and even if it's a rumor, it makes a ton of sense, because we get 1) an 'ending' to tobecky, which is a bad one, 2) a permanent wordgirl identity reveal that significantly changes one of the major dynamics in the show, 3) an episode where TJ gets to work with wordgirl and get a nice potential ending for their sibling dynamic, 4) an episode where we see Two-Brains explore life without his henchmen... the list goes on, and idk how many of these are just major stretches. but the point is. if the show had ended there, that would've been a pretty solid ending for many things, including their relationship: aka, it would prove that it was only ever heading somewhere bad, and when tobey finally has his moment of triumph, he is truly evil about it. and this provides us fans who HATE go gadget go with an easy reason to dismiss it - we can say that it was an attempt to conclude things in a way that wouldn't have happened if the writers had known they'd get more time. but despite that... it is still a canon episode.

it is odd to me how dramatically the dynamic shifts after that, though, because we seriously go from 'worst case ever, tobecky is toxic, your ship is dead' to 'no actually they get along and hang out and get ice cream together and tobey isn't even pressuring her into it, she's happy to go along with it :)' like, immediately. i never knew much about the show writers, so i don't know if the writers changed in between these seasons, but i would absolutely not be surprised if they did.

the earlier episodes are definitely problematic as well (though they pale in comparison to GGG) but i think everyone who ships it is aware considering that tobey is, yknow, a villain. from memory, he destroys buildings to get her attention, lies to her about the level of danger that people are in to trick her into spending more time with him, blackmails her into reading his poetry, and he creates a robot based on her that’s supposed to be devoted to him (but of course, all of these things backfire). not great stuff of course, but like... he’s a villain, that’s the point of his character. and considering that he’s a child these are things that can be redeemed, if done thoughtfully.

anyway, to sum up this section, the show starts off with a pretty standard 'enemies with an unrequited crush' setup, takes a really dark turn for a single episode, and then for the rest of the show takes their dynamic in a direction that makes it much, much easier to ship. as long as you ignore a lot of previous content.

wordbot: where's becky's autonomy in all of this? (misogyny)

we've finally gotten to the fandom. i recognize that a lot of this is going to come across as hypocritical considering how active i used to be re: this ship, but like... i'm a very different person now. anyway. disclaimer i guess - i don't write this to accuse all tobecky shippers of being like this - i know a lot of us aren't/weren't! but boy do i have things to point out, so without further ado:

it is very hard to ship this without allowing some bit of misogyny to slip into it. very, very hard. the entire premise of the ship involves a girl falling in love with a boy that repeatedly pressures her to date him via threats to the safety of herself and people she cares about, which... it's 2020, i shouldn't have to explain why that's terrible & a terrible example to set for children (which is why i am glad they never made it canon, tbh). best-case fan content has tobey stop pressuring her and start working to redeem himself out of an actual change of heart, which leads to becky seeing him in a new light. worst-case fan content treats his incessant pressuring and sometimes outright threats as something romantic - and even worse, romantic to the point where he deserves her attention and love as a reward for not giving up or whatever. i did see this pretty frequently for a while, especially in the earlier 2010s (didn't read much, Not My Thing At All), but i don't feel like going into detail here because of how obviously problematic it is. one medium (but still bad) case is where the fan content makes him start his redemption, but treats her liking him back as a reward for not knocking buildings over anymore. another not great case is where she tries to fix him with her love, which is a very common and very dangerous romantic trope. both are just... so incredibly unfair to her.

in content where she tries to 'fix him'... yeah i feel like it's really obvious how misogynistic that is. girls and women should not feel responsible for the evil actions of men, plain and simple. idk what else to say here i just really hate that trope and hated it back then and it just sucks! so can we not do that anymore, thanks.

in content that treats her like a reward for good behavior, there really isn't much of an explanation for what she sees in him. if she just goes 'oh wow, you're good now, i am going to fall in love with you for it' the whole thing falls flat because it makes NO sense whatsoever. we get to hear so much about tobey and his feelings and why he likes her and how he feels about it, but where is that energy for becky? why does she choose to trust him, to spend time around him, what does she enjoy about his presence? where is her getting over scoops in the process of falling for tobey? where is her telling her friends about this, confiding in them, asking them for advice? where is her choice in the matter?

win a day with wordgirl: do you guys even like becky or do you just like the idea of her (misogyny... 2!)

it was pretty standard for all fandoms the early-mid 2010s, but that's still not a good excuse for why so many tobecky fanfictions centered specifically around tobey's feelings while refusing to give becky the same level of empathy and nuance. it is true that to ship them comfortably you have to redeem him to some degree, which means spending time figuring him out and trying to find ways to pull him to the light without feeling super OOC. but ships take two people??? and there was so much potential for fanfics to explore becky's complex feelings on the matter - because she is! complex! she's heroic and kind but she's petty and has a competitive streak, she easily befriends villains but also doesn't trust them and doesn't believe they can ever really change, she's the savior of an entire planet but has feelings of inadequacy as her civilian identity and struggles with feeling like she can be successful without superpowers, she's great at the straightforward meanings and uses of words and loves reading but struggles to write passages that aren't dry as hell, it can be easily headcannoned that she's neurodivergent (special interests, issues with fitting in with her peers, taking things very literally, etc)... seriously there is SO MUCH to explore about her character, and a lot of it comes into play when you add tobey into the mix (literally ALL of the things i mentioned are explored at some point using tobey as a parallel or foil), but i rarely saw fanfiction that explored her thoughts on things further than 'he's evil but... maybe good?' or 'he's evil but... i kind of like him anyway?'.

if you want her to fall for him while being a villain, explore it!! why does she go against her morals? does she lie to herself about it to feel better? does she feel like she has to 'fix him' as part of her superhero duties to the city, and if so, how does that affect her as she tries and fails to help him? does she fall for him when she believes that he's turning good, only to feel betrayed when he starts acting worse because he feels like he can get away with it? it's such a shame that fanworks spend so little time even considering these questions, and it is absolutely a product of how deeply misogyny is/was baked into how we approach media (especially back then).

tobey goes good: but wait, i thought this show was progressive (a conclusion, i guess)

ifbrd wrote a great meta recently about how the show is a bit misogynist, despite being progressive in several ways. honestly i don't have much to add, but i'd really recommend reading through this; it makes a lot of great observations about the ways that male and female characters are presented differently through the show

i have little to add, so i'd just like to conclude with a reflection on the ship from my current viewpoint. i do think part of the reason so many of us latched onto the ship, despite how obviously problematic it was, is that the show treats a lot of things that would be serious in real life as normal or even comedic - which is fine lol, i'm not going to pretend that it's not a show for little kids, so they have to keep the tone light.

but if we, as teens/adults, decide to engage with this content in a more realistic manner, we have to be prepared to confront how messed up so many of the things going on really are. and if you still want to ship it, there's nothing inherently wrong with that! there's a lot of interesting things to explore in this ship, no matter what stage of enemies-to-friends-to-lovers you write them at, and it can be really helpful to have a space where you can explore a dynamic such as this in fiction. (speaking from experience here tbh, writing some fic for them helped me deal with complicated feelings about some ex-longtime friends.)

so to write this ship at all means that there are canon issues that you need to deal with if you want to have them end up in a healthy relationship in any manner that makes sense (unless you create an AU where none of that is applicable, which, power to you then). and i’m not saying ‘write them with a healthy endgame or you’re Bad’, not at all lol. but at least please, please take a step back once in a while to examine the dynamic that you’re writing, and please be careful about whether you mean to be romanticizing whatever behaviors you end up portraying as good.

[classpect-crew]

sorry if someone asked that already, but how was the journey to your own classpect?

No worries! I'm happy to answer. Long story short, it's been a very, very, very complicated journey that's actually still going! I'm of the opinion that Classpects aren't always static. Especially since so many of us are relatively young (I'm 25 myself, and a lot of my Classpect journey happened from around 19-23) we're still changing a lot and trying to figure ourselves out. Let's get the raw numbers out of the way, because this is kind of insane: I've actually identified with 35 different Classpects over the years. The Classes I identified with most were the Rogue (8 total) and the Maid (6 total), and the Aspects that appeared the most were, interestingly, Heart and Mind (5 each). But the real question is, where did it all begin?

My Classpect journey started in early 2015. I was sitting with friends in what we affectionately called "The Hidey Hole," part of an underground tunnel between our dorm rooms, and I stumbled the blog of @dahniwitchoflight which began my obsession with figuring out my own Classpect. I decided to comb through the Aspect pages one by one to figure out which one I connected with, and I found my answer in the section for the Rogue of Time, found here. The section that stood out in particular is this one:

"A Rogue of Time may become preoccupied with making things that they like last as long as they can, like wearing a favorite shirt to rags, or using a favorite pencil until it breaks, or trying to keep a pet alive as long as possible, things like that. They might even give up all their precious Time to other people, trying to make relationships or friendships last as long as possible."

I admit, I felt a bit called out, and I began to identify strongly with this Classpect—and I still do, to this day. I've always had an extremely strong connection to music, but my time management has been horrendous since I was young, giving me a complicated relationship with my Aspect. One key theme in the Rogue's journey that I also identify with is balance, which is further expanded upon on @godtiertalk's blog, which has been my main inspiration for the balance narrative. This is definitely a big reason why I later identified with seven other Rogues over the next few years, with my strongest connections being the Rogue of Life and the Rogue of Heart. Most of that time was spent combing any Classpect blog I could find for different interpretations, especially as I began to run my own blog here and exploring what these Classes and Aspects meant to me.

Life stood out to me, as someone whose energy levels are always in great flux, and also due to my nasty little habit of popping up through the cracks in the sidewalk of life despite years of devastating trauma. Life, uh, finds a way. Heart perfectly described my knack for understanding the feelings and deepest desires of people around me. I have a tendency to draw a sense of emotional honesty from people, and what they don't tell me themselves, I tend to intuit without much trouble. Yet, I struggle greatly with my own identity, which has changed so much throughout the years, and my growing collection of Classpect identities seemed to back that up.

Throughout the years, I flowed between Classpects, from the seemingly obvious Maid of Mind or Mage of Time to the out-of-left-field Prince of Rage. (I'm still not sure why that was a thing for me.) A lot of it actually came from running this blog, to be honest. Any time I'd dive into research for an ask I'd received, more often than not I'd begin relating very strongly with the Class or Aspect in question, if not both. This made for a lot of fascinating introspection and a deeper understanding of precisely what this blog is all about, but it was also frustrating to continue tripping into rabbit holes of self-exploration. Every new epiphany or connection I made seemed to point to some new, unexplored part of myself, and that manifested as a different Classpect identity. This was tempered only by my desire to go back to my roots as a Rogue of Time, for two reasons in particular. Firstly, I already had a Land and Quest planned out in excruciating detail—and I'm still very attached to the Land of Cadence and Fugue—and secondly, I trusted that my past self couldn't have been entirely wrong.

I finally compromised with both my nostalgic ties and my evolving self-identity and created the concepts of Archetypal and Organic Classpects, which you can read about further here. Put simply, my Archetypal Classpect would most likely remain the Rogue of Time, being the one I'd most likely receive in an actual game of Sburb. My Organic Classpect, meanwhile, would describe a more holistic approach to self-identity. It would be based around common themes I explore in my own life, being free to change as I do. Such Organic Classpects have included the Maid of Mind, Rogue of Life, and Sylph of Time.

In short, my journey has been a complicated one, but my approach certainly isn't for everyone. If you do like to dive headfirst into loads of research, though, I'd highly recommend the blogs I've mentioned, as well as optimisticDuelist's blog and YouTube channel, which have given me an excellent level of clarity on the origins and various interpretations of the Classes and Aspects. Of course, you're welcome to navigate the strange, often choppy waters of my blog as well, and feel free to ask further questions!

[scripttorture]

Hello! I've browsed this blog a bit and came across the idea that torturers often develop mental illness because of their repeated exposure to the violence/trauma of seeing another person in pain, which I'd never considered before. A) Do you believe torturers can therefore be a type of victim as well, depending on the circumstances, and therefore deserving of compassion/therapy? B) Can you point me to more information about this/what kinds of mental illnesses develop in torturers? (1/2)

C) Do you think it's possible for a mass murderer/torturer character to have a realistic, satisfying redemption arc? Do you know any media that's pulled it off believably? Thank you so much for taking the time to read/answer this if you do! And for this excellent resource!

-

The most accessible sources that cover this are O’Mara’s Why Torture Doesn’t Work (good grounding, start with him), Rejali’s Torture and Democracy and the appendices to Fanon’s The Wretched of the Earth where he describes treating two torturers.

 The most current research is about 600 pages of print on demand untranslated French. If you’re fluent in French (I am not and lock down etc has got in the way of me getting this translated) Sironi Comment devient-on tortionnaire?

 Broadly speaking the symptoms appear to be the same as those survivors and witnesses develop.

 And I will go into this in more depth later but keep in mind there is not anywhere near enough research on torturers for us to be entirely sure about most of this. I’m working with the best information we have right now.

 The other two questions are subjective and sort of complicated. By definition a lot of this is going to be my opinion because well that’s what you’re asking for.

 I think we need to be really careful about describing torturers as ‘victims’.

 Yes they’re put in this situation by social structures beyond their control. It is not their fault that they weren’t given training or support in their job. It’s also not their fault that we have this global message that violence is effective or that so many workplaces are unnecessarily pressured/stressful. Most of the time they are drawn in to abusing others because of the social groups and structures within the organisation they join.

 Oversight (with a drive to eradicate torture), funding, training and clear consistent messages about the right way to handle difficult situations would probably prevent most cases of torture.

 This does not change the fact that on an individual level each of them chose to hurt other people.

 Some of them will have made that choice understanding there was a threat to their own safety if they did not. Some of them will have made that choice just because it was what everyone else was doing. Some of them genuinely believe what they did was the ‘right’ decision at the time.

 They still made that choice. And given that we have records of people in similar positions refusing, even when it put them at risk of attack or death, I don’t have a lot of sympathy with the choice torturers made.

 The fact I’m a pacifist factors into this. Consider my biases.

 Torturers typically show a very low understanding of the impact their actions have had on other people.

 They might regret their actions but this is typically framed in a very self-centred way. They usually don’t express more then cursory regard for the victims. They regret it because they’re suffering now, because they have nightmares, because they can’t keep a job. And oh it’s all so unfair.

 I don’t know why this is the case. But it’s a feature Sironi described in interviews about her work. And I’ve seen it over and over again in interviews with torturers.

 Yes torturers suffer. The symptoms they develop are terrible and have a lasting impact on their lives. They typically can’t hold down jobs and struggle to re-integrate into society in any meaningful fashion.

 And yes I believe they should be treated. I believe that anyone with a disease or condition which requires treatment should have access to care and treatment. Whoever they are. Whatever they did.

 I believe that as fellow human beings torturers are entitled to a degree of compassion. When I say that torture and mistreatment are wrong I mean it. My position doesn’t change just because the theoretical victim is a former torturer.

 I do not think that treatment and compassion should be dependant on a person being suitably victimised. For me the only thing it depends on is their need and their humanity. In the literal physical sense of them being a human.

 But we tend to think of ‘victim’ as a simple category that doesn’t overlap with mass murderers.

 And I don’t believe the position of torturers is that simple.

 Especially when so few of them are charged. Torture trials are rare. Convictions are rare. And sentences are short.

 And their victims deserve justice too.

 I feel conflicted about calling torturers ‘victims’ because of this complex reality. And because in fiction we have a tendency to focus on the torturers prioritising their voices over the survivors. I feel like presenting torturers as simple victims of society could risk adding to that.

 For me the focus has always got to be the survivors.

 And I think all of this feeds into how we handle redemption arcs.

 I don’t think that writing redemption arcs for villains, even torturers or mass murderers is ‘wrong’. In fact I think that it can be a really good idea. Showing how toxic the environments these people are in is a good thing. Puncturing the way it’s romanticised is a good thing. And showing a way out of it, even if it’s imagined, is not a bad thing.

 But if we’re going to do that in our stories then I think we need to think about what redemption means and in whose eyes the character is redeemed.

 There’s also a small problem: we don’t really know what recovery for torturers looks like.

 There isn’t enough research on them. Partly because of lack of interest but partly because the low conviction rates means sample sizes are small. We’re talking about a limited number of individuals who are jailed and we can’t really ‘prove’ that individuals who weren’t convicted were torturers. We don’t really know what the long term outcomes are, what treatments might be effective or- Much of anything.

 Studies on torturers are typically based on very small numbers of individuals. (For a long time Fanon’s work was the only example of a mental health professional talking about torturers specifically. He saw two of them.) They are not statistically sound. And a lot of resources were simply journalists or mental health professionals compiling notes on the handful of individuals they talked to.

 Everything I say about torturers is based on things like interviews, a handful of studies that have flaws and anecdotal evidence. Unfortunately as of right now it’s the best we’ve got.

 Personally I don’t think there’s enough research on torture generally. Or enough attempts to collate relevant research from other fields. But that’s a rant for another day.

 Let’s get back to that central question: what does redemption mean?

 I think that it’s pretty easy to write a character changing for the better. You can build up the character’s level of insight into what they’re doing/did over the course of the story. You can show them choosing to stop. You can show them shifting to oppose their former allies.

 But bundled up in the idea of a redemption arc is this: is it enough? And who is it enough for?

 I don’t think survivors should be obliged to forgive former torturers. I also don’t think they’re likely to interact positively.

 I’ve talked about this now and again when asked about the difference between legally defined torture and abuse. Because of the organised and widespread nature of legally defined torture there are usually communities of survivors. And communities that are collectively moving through a recovery process because even those people who weren’t directly attacked are likely to be witnesses, carers and relatives or friends of survivors.

 These things echo down generations.

 Cyprus gained independence from the British in 1960, my father is too young to have any real memory of the violence during the colonial period. But he referenced it in arguments with my English mother during my childhood. There are people throughout China today who won’t buy anything Japanese because of Japanese war crimes there during World War 2. There are people who won’t eat fish from the Black Sea, because the bodies of their ancestors were thrown into that sea during a genocide over a hundred years ago.

 I know that as a both a Greek Cypriot and an English person there are people all over the world who will not want anything to do with me based on what my people have done to theirs. And the fact I wasn’t alive at the time does not really factor into it.

 What I’m trying to illustrate here is that this is much bigger, broader and more complex then individual acts of forgiveness.

 Survivors are a highly varied group of individuals. And each torturer can have thousands or tens of thousands of victims. Expecting each impacted individual, and any witnesses and all their family members and friends, to forgive these people is… let’s say ‘unlikely’.

 So does redemption require forgiveness from the wounded party? Is there any possible action that can atone for the sheer scale of these atrocities?

 If we play a simple number game causing this level of harm can be achieved in months or years, but saving the equivalent number of lives takes decades of skilled, dedicated work. If we look at concepts like wergild or jail as ‘paying your debt to society’ then how do we measure something like torture where the numbers are so big?

 I haven’t seen a piece of fiction seriously tackle these questions. But then again I also haven’t actively looked for that fiction.

 I feel like a lot of fictional redemption arcs judge a character to be sufficiently redeemed based on audience sympathy and the main cast forgiving the character. They don’t typically go on to broaden the scope of the narrative and question whether any one else impacted by the former villain’s actions also sees the character as redeemed.

 One of my stories has a former torturer as a major character and I think they are a sympathetic character in many ways. I think that my readers would empathise with them through a lot of the story (which takes place decades after they stopped torturing).

 They’re a mentor figure to some of the younger cast members. They’ve acted as a protector to them and taught the younger generation a lot about the minority culture they themselves are from. And they do genuinely care about these people that they helped to raise, consistently sacrificing to protect these ‘kids’. (The ‘kids’ are 30s-20s at the time of the story.)

 But they’re also incredibly self centred. They don’t really interact with or have a lot of sympathy for the people they hurt. And while this particular family loves and forgives them society at large views them as a monster. Albeit one that is now leashed.

 Is this a redemption story? Is this character redeemed? I genuinely don’t know. In fact that’s part of my interest in writing the story: trying to work out if there is a point, as this character grows, develops and helps others, when I believe they’ve done ‘enough’.

 I think that redemption means different things for different people. A satisfying redemption story is different for different people. And if we can disagree so strongly about it with much simpler, smaller scale crimes then where does that leave us with torture?

 There isn’t a simple answer or a one-size-fits-all writing solution. There can’t be.

 My approach is to try and use the story to see if I can find an answer. Even if it’s only a limited one. For me the story itself is a forum for exploring human complexity and difficult ethical questions.

 I don’t think we have a good solution for how to deal with these people in reality yet. But I do hold out hope that a good solution is possible. Fiction is an arena where we can safely explore possible solutions.

 I guess in the end I’m not sure if there’s any story or arc that will work for everyone. I don’t think there are any hard rules for writing anything and I don’t think there’s ever a way to please everyone.

 Redemption and forgiveness are complicated topics. I think we do a much better job when we engage with that complexity then when we assume a character just has to do a, b and c in order to achieve it.

 When you consider someone to be truly redeemed is an ethical question that I can’t answer for you. I don’t think I should. The chances are you’ll know when you think your character has done enough.

 Just be open to the fact that it won’t be enough for everyone. Consider reflecting that with the characters, because that can make for truly powerful moments.

 In Midnight’s Children Shiva never forgives Saleem, even though Saleem isn’t responsible for Shiva ‘losing’ his life and family because they were both infants at the time. And damn there are a lot of flaws in the movie adaptation but that scene between them in the jail, when Saleem throws that in Shiva’s face hits hard. It shows us so much about both characters.

 And I think that’s a better way to approach it then trying to figure out if a character is redeemed yet: figuring out how they’ve progressed, how others respond to that progression and why.

 I hope that helps :)

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[xb-squaredx]

Rise of the V-Tuber

As a platform, YouTube has gone through a variety of “eras,” wherein a particular trend catches on and defines the website for some time. In the early days, you had funny cat videos, then Let’s Plays of video games became rather popular, and now we seem to be deeply entrenched into a new era that has exploded in popularity as of late. If you’ve frequented the website at all in the past few months, it is almost inescapable. Cutesy, anime-styled avatars that play games, sing, chat with viewers, or even cook! What does it all mean? Where did they come from? Are they here to stay? Most importantly, how does one crawl out of the rabbit hole once they fall into it? All that and more will be revealed as we delve deep into the wacky, wholesome and sometimes worrying world of V-Tubers. (photo credit YuuGiJoou. Check her out on YouTube, Twitter or Twitch!) 

THE ORIGIN

To begin properly, let’s define the subject. A “V-Tuber” is a “Virtual YouTuber,” someone who streams on YouTube (or any other streaming platform) using a digital avatar as a proxy. The streamer in question typically uses face-tracking software so that the avatar can emote (or at least attempt to emote) to match their own reactions as they provide entertainment for their audience. While it may seem as if V-Tubers are rather new, in doing research on the topic, you’d be surprised how far back things go.

For starters, the concept of a virtual celebrity has been around for a while, with one of the most notable efforts being Hatsune Miku, a Vocaloid voicebank program. Hatsune Miku is every bit as famous and beloved as a flesh-and-blood singer or entertainer despite being nothing but voice synthesizer software. Vocaloid got its start back in 2000, eventually being reworked into a commercial product in 2004, though it wasn’t until the programs started receiving anthropomorphic character designs that it took off, with Hatsune Miku’s own debut in 2007, and the rest is history.

Many will consider “Virtual Idol” Kizuna Ai as the true pioneer of what we call a V-Tuber today, making her debut in 2016, however one could make an argument that Ami Yamato, a 3D-animated vlogging channel debuting in 2013, beat her to the punch. Honorable mention of course goes to Any Malu, a Brazilian animated YouTube vlogger who debuted in 2015 and eventually gained her own show on Cartoon Network Brazil. While Ai may not be the first, she is undoubtedly considered to be the codifier that many later V-Tubers would follow. Ai’s entire shtick was being an AI program that wanted to connect with humans, playing games, singing or interacting with fans. Following her explosive popularity, it was clear that other companies would follow the model established by Ai, with their own spins on it of course.

Nijisanji, established in 2018, proved that this trend could be incredibly profitable, becoming trailblazers in their own right as they established various “branches” of their company in several countries with their own unique performers that could cater to a wider range of viewers. As of this writing, Nijisanji employs over 164 “Virtual Livers,” most of which come from their Japan branch, alongside their Korean, Chinese, Indian and Indonesian branches. Similarly, there is the Hololive corporation, which saw substantial growth throughout 2020 in particular. Established in 2016 originally as Cover Corporation, at first Hololive was the name of an app meant for use in 3D motion capture, though following Nijisanji’s success, Hololive was rebranded as a V-Tuber competitor and also features a variety of colorful characters spread across many different main branches. There is of course the Japanese branch, as well as Hololive Indonesia, the relatively new (and highly successful) Hololive English, a defunct Chinese branch and an all-male Holostar branch in Japan.

Other, smaller V-Tuber groups have sprung up alongside the corporate powerhouses, such as VOMS Project, established in March of 2020, as an independent trio of streamers, and more recently at the tail-end of 2020 with V-Shojo, featuring a group of Western streamers (who ironically mostly stick to Twitch). Outside of this of course are the countless independent streamers who utilize avatars for one reason or another across many different platforms. Even prominent Twitch streamers seem to be getting in on the act, such as Pokimane, though that one has not come without some backlash. So consider that a rough history of how V-Tubers got started in Japan but how did they gain a more global fanbase? Well, in a word…”memes.”

GOING INTERNATIONAL

I won’t deny there had to be at least SOME overseas fans who enjoyed watching V-Tubers before they became more well-known, but for many Western fans their introductions to V-Tubers in general typically came from viral videos taken from various streams that spread like wildfire, eventually getting people curious enough to check them out. For Kizuna Ai, her playthrough of Resident Evil 7 gained notoriety for her mimicking the cursing of the English-speaking player character, and for Hololive, arguably the first real Western breakthrough for the company came from a now infamous moment from Sakura Miko’s stream of Grand Theft Auto 5. 

Also from Hololive, Inugami Korone in particular had a variety of memes spread about her due to playthroughs from various games that even got acknowledged by the developers themselves. Her playthrough of DOOM 2016 resulted in a short-lived Easter egg implanted into DOOM Eternal, and her video on Banjo-Kazooie (and the animated Eekum Bokum fan video that spawned from that) got the attention of Rare, Xbox and even Grant Kirkhope, the composer for the original game.

Honestly, the real unsung heroes of sorts for V-Tuber popularity might just come from foreign fans that would clip and translate various moments from streams that helped to build an international audience. There are dozens of Twitter handles and YouTube channels that specialize in spreading these clips around and if you factor in the YouTube algorithm, once you see one video your feed will be flooded with similar videos. It is no surprise fans call getting into the fandom “falling into the rabbit hole.” When you look at the more popular members of Hololive, often the ones with various viral clips have the higher subscription counts. In the case of Aki Rosenthal, one of the older members, her sub count exploded after a fan translated a section from a then-recent stream in which she talked candidly about her less-than-stellar growth as well as the difficulties of standing out in general. While at one point having the lowest amount of subscribers (well below 200,000), in the months since that video her sub count has more than doubled going past 400,000. Sometimes the talent needs a little push.

Now, within Hololive itself, I think Kiryu Coco is also partially responsible for expanding the fanbase, being one of the few employed talents with the ability to speak English (likely a native speaker), she gained a large international fanbase as she would work to translate what she or other members were talking about on the fly, and later on established an ongoing series where she would directly engage with fans over websites like Reddit and “rate” the various memes they would send in. Coco also pushed for establishing what would become Hololive English, which has proven to be a gigantic success, each member of that branch blowing past more established talent’s subscriber counts, with Gawr Gura becoming the first Hololive V-Tuber to pass one million subscribers and just recently passed the two million mark. So yeah, V-Tubers are a big deal now but…what is about them that makes people want to watch them in the first place?

THE APPEAL

So, right off the bat, if we’re going to ask why someone would want to watch a V-Tuber I think it’s fair to ask that of virtually ANY internet personality. The reason why someone would watch Game Grumps or Pokimane or Jojo Siwa or whoever else is the same reason they’d watch Kizuna Ai or Inugami Korone or Ironmouse: they’re entertaining. I guess that seems like a bit of a cop-out answer, right? There MUST be a reason why V-Tubers have blown up in popularity over the last few years, so are there things that make these particular Internet entertainers stand out from the crowd?

Undoubtedly, the fact that these streamers are playing a character is a deviation from the norm, though the dedication to staying “in character” seems to vary from person to person, and over time many V-Tubers tend to open up and are far more genuine. At any rate, even the best actor out there can’t possibly make up various daily happenings or childhood stories for their characters on the fly, day after day, stream after stream. Still, I’d imagine the decision to use a proxy as opposed to their real self can be liberating, a mask they can wear to speak more freely or a role they can play up for entertainment. For the most part, I think the persona aspect is mostly harmless fun that makes the streamer seem more distinct; ask yourself which is more eye-catching: some normal human playing a game and occasionally cracking a joke, or a one-eyed pirate girl discussing her raunchy past? Or maybe you’d rather watch the grim reaper practice her raps? Even talent that don’t really play up their character much still often have interesting character designs; we have princesses, dragons, devils, robots and more. A little something for everyone!

Speaking a bit more personally, I find it interesting to watch streamers from an entirely different culture and how they interact with fans or engage with games. I find it funny when Inugami Korone or Sakura Miko plays more Western-oriented games like the DOOM series or Grand Theft Auto V respectively. Often times they’re blown away by the culture clash, or they view these games through a different lens since it’s so different from what they’re used to. In particular, those two are just genuine goofballs that are funny all on their own. More chat-focused streams are an interesting view into daily life in Japan, such as the stories Houshou Marine tells, though obviously a given V-Tuber’s viewpoint isn’t a metric you can apply to the whole country, but she’s still interesting to listen to. Takanashi Kiara is also notable for her multilingual skills, which has helped her bridge the gap a bit more between the various Hololive members through her Holotalk segments where she interviews other V-Tubers. Outside of Hololive, Amano Pikamee from VOMS Project is just a bundle of energy that’s fun to watch as she rages in Super Mario 64 or Super Mario Sunshine. Her tea-kettle laugh is also just kinda charming. The V-Shojo group stands out for being super vulgar compared to the more corporate V-Tubers and while I don’t watch them all that much, there’s still some fun chaos to be had. Still though, I think there’s one big elephant in the room that would also help explain V-Tubers catching on at this specific point in time: the pandemic. Streaming is one of the few jobs not really affected by the pandemic, and with people stuck inside, they’re more likely to scroll through YouTube or Twitter and find a funny clip and then…well, you know… It’s one bright spot in an otherwise dark time…but I’d be lying if I said it was all sunshine and rainbows.

THE DARK UNDERBELLY

The overall idea behind V-Tubers, at least in Japan, seems to be an extension of Idol Culture…and uh…if you know anything about Idol Culture in Japan, it is all kinds of scummy. Exploitative, filled to the brim with harmful rules and regulations and largely catering to some vary unsavory “fans,” I’ll make it no mystery that I find it incredibly distasteful. Look no further than what happened to Minegishi Minami from the idol group AKB48. To keep a long story short, the obsession with “purity” and being this idealized Japanese beauty means idols are effectively locked into their work, unable to discuss or in many cases partake in romantic relationships, as that would make them less “desirable” to their audience. This unfortunately does at times extend to V-Tubers.

Take Tokoyami Towa, who was suspended for some time and forced to make an apology video for…having some male voices briefly heard over Discord during an Apex Legend stream. She even lost a lot of subscribers and support from Japanese fans following this, though once learning of this, Western fans flocked to her as a show of support. Hololive has also dealt with a variety of issues coming from Chinese fans; though that’s a particular hornet’s nest I don’t want to delve into here too much. To sum it up, fans can get obsessive and toxic, which can lead to the talent being harassed. It is for this reason, it is generally agreed upon by fans to not delve too deep into the personal lives of the V-Tubers, for fear of being doxxed and the illusion being broken. These kinds of issues certainly bring up some interesting questions regarding how talent should be treated moving forward.

Are these V-Tubers characters or just alternate sides of real people? Where does the fantasy end and reality begin? Ultimately, the lines are somewhat blurred. Talent certainly brings some of their own personality into the performance, but they are forced to remain anonymous and as can be seen in the case of Kizuna Ai, they are not always in control of the character they’ve been given. Kizuna Ai’s initial actress was for a time replaced, and “clones” of the character with different voices and personalities started to spring up, likely as an attempt to compete with the likes of Nijisanji and Hololive. In cases where V-Tubers retire from the industry, or “graduate” as some call it, all of their hard work cultivating a fanbase might end up being for nothing as they were forced behind a proxy that isn’t truly themselves and I imagine it can be hard to start over again from square one. Never mind the attempts to step out of the shadow of your older work. Man, Perfect Blue was downright prophetic at times, huh?

I don’t want to dwell on the negatives too much though. It’s worth noting for one thing that Nijisanji seems relatively lax regarding how their talent operates, whereas it seems Hololive is the standout for adhering to the idol ideal, though considering how some of the talent acts (in particular Kiryu Coco), one has to wonder if they’re softening their stances a bit. Many V-Tubers generally talk about the positive aspects of the industry and being given the opportunity to reach people from all over the world. Shortly after Ina’s debut in Hololive English, she was actually brought to tears when told her art streams convinced people to get into (or back into) the hobby, which had been one of her goals for becoming a V-Tuber in the first place. Ironmouse, now a member of V-Shojo, has an immune system disorder that keeps her bedridden and forced to stay inside, so the opportunities afforded by this particular type of streaming has allowed her to reach out to others and as per her own words, has changed her life for the better. While there are definitely “fans” that go too far, corporate practices that are outdated, or harmful and a slew of potential unfortunate implications, ultimately I think most people out there are just looking for quality entertainment, and these digital proxies give these entertainers an outlet to connect with fans in a way that they might not have otherwise.

CONCLUSION

V-Tubers are in a bit of a boom at the moment, though I can’t imagine it’ll last forever. We’re quickly approaching market saturation and after a point, people can only follow so many streamers at once. Hell, as I was editing this up, it seems as if prominent YouTuber Pewdiepie is about to step into the ring, so who knows what kind of shake-up that could bring. The bubble will undoubtedly burst and what becomes of V-Tubers then is still up in the air. Or who knows, maybe V-Tubers will endure and replace all entertainment and we’re just watching the beginning of a cyberpunk dystopia. Stranger things have happened! Considering the world is still reeling from the effects of the pandemic, that should largely have an impact on the popularity of V-Tubers for some time to come, though as we emerge into a “new normal” in the world, it’ll be interesting to see how these entertainers continue to evolve. Now, I suppose there is one question I never quite went over before now, isn’t there? How does one escape the V-Tuber rabbit hole? Well, I’m sorry to say but there is no escape.

Enjoy your new home!

-B

[bobby-hockey]

first line meme!

rules: list the first lines of the last ten (10) stories you published. look to see any patterns you notice yourself, and see if anyone else notices any. then tag some friends!

hi hen @fourteenfifteen thank you for the tag :)

the first seven are original fiction and the rest is blaseball fanfic, some of it's published some of it's not and im bending the rules bc im including chapter openers as well. pls forgive me hen

Roll Four Lines (the 2017-18 nashville predators): Jarle generally isn’t the kind of person to let bad games get to him.

tell me again (The Next One alternate perspective outtake): How does Taylor Jaycox feel about the QMJHL draft?

untitled creepy gross meat wip: He’s an outsider in this locker room.

(Dump and Chase, Chapter ?): Way out here on the edge of Bendbrook Falls, it’s as quiet as it ever gets: the frogs sing a lullaby to the sun, slowly joined by the crickets as the last light sinks over the mountains.

(Dump and Chase, Chapter ?): “You owe me three hundred bucks,” Toby says, sashaying into the apartment with all the grace of a grizzly bear on a tightrope.

(Dump and Chase, Chapter ?): Gozy puts on the Habs game before Jack can tell him that he’d really rather just sleep.

Battery (the san diego padres): Laying on his back on a hotel bed in San Diego, Lars Lyon doesn’t look much like the future of baseball.

as second sun came past the glass (ffs end of expansion era blaseball fanfic): When Wesley blinks he can see the supernova superimposed supervisory, peering over his shoulder, nothing but menace, and a desert so wide and so dark the only water is his own tears at the loneliness of it: a sea upside-down, like Wesley could swim into the starless sky and plunge into the depths of the lake he loves.

i got game face but it's all for show (ffs end of expansion era blaseball fanfic): When Gerund drags herself from the river, stiff fingers scraping concrete, she recognizes the city she’s in, a half-afterthought.

and coming back all damaged (ffs andrew/leon short circuit blaseball fanfic): It’s September in Seattle but the drizzling rain and unhappy breeze don’t stop the Garage from packing itself full of fans dressed in navy and red.

tagging: @avi-why @keen2meecha n anyone else who wants to take a crack at it! no pressure ofc but if you do it pls tag me i want to read other ppls' self analysis

observations under the cut since they got really long lol

observations: wow i sure don't like opening with dialogue, do i. i think i tend toward trying to set the scene every time i open something new; even in chaptered works my chapters tend to self-conclude and i don't write chapter cliffhangers that much, and when i do i usually transition away to a different scene to Let That Boy Marinate so to speak. so i'm always trying to Establish A Context but that doesn't always make for a fun hook

my fanfiction openers are a little bit more descriptive and punchy, i think partly because i'm working on a limited word budget w/ the 12x100 format, and also because i'm not adopting the more casual tone that i like my original work to be in.

that could Also be because i'm not really writing outside of my comfort zone (for the most part) w/ my original fic and i can take bigger risks w/ fanfiction because it's low-impact. and (ironically given i work w/in a certain structure in blaseball fic) it's relatively unstructured re: universal continuity; i can just handwave any inconsistencies since blaseball has, to use a kind of bad analogy, resonance structures; i can portray things in different ways and still have it represent the same molecule and that's fine. but w/ my original work i have such a need for it to be internally consistent that it needs to be correct and i think constraining myself like that isn't necessarily a bad thing but like, upon reflecting it's restricting my creative innovation.

in general i also try to Name My Characters in the opening lines but i just think that's good practice because i personally prefer to see a character (or group of characters, i.e. a team) be named so i have some sort of anchor point. obviously the exception in that collection is the creepygrossmeat wip but i think i might pull an annihilation with that and just not give anyone names outside of their function. we'll see lol it's a wip for a reason.

anyway that's it (sorry it's so long i'm in a literature class that is all about close reading)