#the gay pirates are having a field day with this one

[davenporttf]

MLB Secrets: Alex

I'm going to let you in on two secrets I've been holding close my entire life: I'm gay, and I have a superpower. One of those is not that big of a deal except in a sports environment, and the other makes me sounds like I'm crazy. I don't know how to describe it, but I noticed growing up I was able to manipulate others to be a different version of themselves. All it took was wishing for it to happen in my mind and it would become their reality.

Now, I'm the first baseman for the local AAA team, the Blue Pirates. I've never used my superpower to get ahead in sports. That would be crossing a line. But I have been feeling pretty sexually repressed these days, and I think I'm overdue for some fun.

Today was a long day for the team. We lost the game in a landslide, and everyone was feeling like crap. The whole team left the locker room except for my buddy, Dylan, and I. Dylan is our center outfielder and we hang occasionally. I haven't told anyone on my team that I'm gay, and consequently I don't date really for fear of being seen. Today I could use a mood booster though.

Dylan was talking to me about his recent fishing trip when I started to wish for him to be a horny power bottom. He stopped talking suddenly as if his brain was recalculating. When he snapped out of it, he looked at me with a hunger in his eyes.

"You thinking what I'm thinking big boy?" I said with a smirk.

"I'm thinking you need to pitch me your best game, sexy" he said as he turned around and brushed his ass against my throbbing 8 inch cock. I wrapped my bat against his chest and pushed him into me as I brought my lips to his.

Fuck, he tasted so good. His stubble brushed against mine and I could feel him move his ass up and down around my cock. I could spend all day teasing him but the thought of being caught was becoming too much.

"Let's take this back to my place." I suggested. His face was telling me he wanted me to fuck him here and now, but he quickly threw on his shirt and grabbed his bag. "I'll drive sexy" he said smiling.

We made our way to his truck and I jumped in to the passenger side. It was a 10 minute drive to my place from the fields but I couldn't wait to get the party started. I looked at him and wished for him to be flooded with overactive balls and a large cock. He squirmed in pleasure as his balls dropped and his legs spread out to allow them room. I then ducked down to unbutton his baseball pants and let his now 9 inch cock out. It was go time! I took his giant cock into my mouth as he tried to maintain control of the road.

I sucked and twirled my head around his head and tasted the salty precum from his dick. His balls were working overtime and he had a constant flow of pre coming out. I bobbed up and down and sucked with the energy of a DL gay in need of a dick. Dylan moaned as he felt himself getting close. I went for the finisher and took his whole cock into my throat. "OH FUCKKKK" he screamed as his jizz erupted into my throat. I felt his cock pulsate as shot after shot of what had to be the biggest load I've ever taken shot into my mouth. I brought my head up as Dylan regained control of the truck smiling at me. "Fuck, bro. We need to get to your house quick."

We pulled into my driveway and rushed inside. Dylan walked into my room and plopped onto my bed. "Let's see what you got"

He smelled rank from the game and I took no time to dive into worshiping his body. I pressed his socks against my face and licked his feet from heel to toes. I could taste all the hours of sweat from the game we just played. I gripped the bottom of his stirrup socks with my teeth, and snapped them back against his sole. The snap made him wiggle in pleasure and anticipation. "Stop teasing me, big boy!"

I crawled forward to start kissing his inner thighs. I looked at him and met his eyes. "You have an extremely sensitive hole and cheeks." I thought, and watched as he squirmed side to side.

"Fuck, dude. I need you inside me!" Dylan said breathlessly. I unbuckled and brought his pants down to his ankles. Flipping him over, I pulled him up on all fours.

"Anything for the team" I said as I pushed my throbbing cock into his hungry hole. Dylan bursted out in a loud moan, "Oooooh Fuckk!" He was precumming in his jock as I thrusted into him. My thighs clapping against his sensitive ass was heaven for me but ecstasy for Dylan. His hole gripped on my cock bringing me to the edge. I grabbed his hips and did one last deep thrust into him. I exploded into his ass, breeding him like the bottom bitch his life had become. He could resume his normal life tomorrow, but tonight he was my boytoy.

[starry-teacup]

Because of some cool art you made I want to dip my toe into the Mechanisms.

where do I find the story?

So I don't know how much you know about them, but the basics are:

The Mechanisms is a band in which each member has a persona. They are a crew of immortal space pirates, roaming the galaxy in search of violence, fun, and stories to tell. Each persona character can be referred to as a mechanism, as in a member of the crew, but they each also have a mechanism, a clockwork prosthetic of some sort that was installed after they each had their own tragic story and made them immortal.

When they find a good, long, juicy tragedy, they turn it into an album. They also have two anthology albums, with some songs connecting to the wider stories and some completely independent of them, and a couple containing mechanisms lore. Their last album is from the live show of their final performance.

All of these albums stand on their own, and there is no particular order you need to listen to them in. They each contain characters and places from classic stories, putting unique sci-fi spins on them all and following queer narratives. I'd say bury your gays, but honestly, it's more like bury your gays and the entire planet they lived on, along with everything they ever held dear.

here's a summary of each, stolen from the mechs blurbs themselves:

Once Upon a Time (In Space)-

This tale tells of those embroiled in the rebellion against the tyrant of New Constantinople, Old King Cole. It tells of the love of Cinders for her captured Rose, of the treatment of Rose at the hands of Cole's genetic scientists, and of the bold but savage leadership of the rebel General Snow. And it tells of the final fates of all of these.

fairy tale but make it a rebellion. their first album, contains many of their most popular songs. solid. not personally one of my favorites, but the one I'm most likely to be listening to a song from on any given day. our boy jack and pump shanty are excellent.

High Noon Over Camelot-

A tale of hope and despair aboard the Fort Galfridian, long lost to the outside world, where the chaos of centuries of solitude has been brought in check at last by the guns of the Pendragon Gang. But the visions of the mad prophet Galahad, and the schemes of the Pendragons' lieutenants Mordred and Gawain, threaten to cast the station back into anarchy. And all the while, the Sun grows hotter...

arthurian legend has just become a space westerner in which everyone rides motorcycles and a fiery death threatens them all. haven't listened to it yet, but I've heard great things. Blood and Whiskey is a banger, and Arthur, Lancelot, and Guinevere are in a polycule, something I didn't know I needed until I heard it suggested.

Ulysses Dies At Dawn-

Ulysses Dies at Dawn. That's the word on the street, at any rate, if you talk to anyone who saw what went down at Calypso's Bar the other night. Who is behind the thuggish band known as the Suits - Heracles, Ariadne and the others? What is Ulysses's secret? And what is hidden within the security of the Vault?

I'm going to be completely honest with you. I think this is no-contest their best album. It's greek mythology in noir film style, with heavy usage of blues and rock. I don't even like blues, but I love each and every song. This one is also a little easier to follow than the others. I'd recommend starting here.

The Bifrost Incident-

The Bifrost Incident. Any schoolchild could tell you about it. The fall of the old order; two hundred years of Asgardian hubris come together in a single epoch-defining event. The maiden voyage of a train through the stars, vanished without a trace...

Remember how I think the last one was the best one? Well, this is still my favorite. Norse mythology framed as a mystery on a train, with a twist completely out of left field that leaves you reeling. Thus, it is probably the most difficult to follow, or at least, it was for me. The art you liked-which wasn't mine, unfortunately, credit to the artists is on the post if you want to check those blogs out-featured variations of the narrator from this album. let's just say I'm. not so normal about them.

well. ANYWAYS. this was...probably longer than what you wanted. Or than what I should have given. I don't get asks a lot and an excuse to talk about the mechanisms is always something I am willing to abuse.

If you do end up listening to any of their music, please tell me what you think! I'd love to hear it, and it's always nice to talk about them with someone else :)

[tobiasdrake]

We have a terrible plan but it's the best we can do under these circumstances. Let's go get us a ship.

If we're still on the ship when it un-dusks, is that bad for us? Do we know?

Also, Teaks said it was imprisoned in a perpetual storm, but apparently it flickers in and out of reality? That was bugging me when we saw it do that the first time. Is the perpetual storm on the other side of the flicker?

This seems way more complicated than "Angry ghost captain summoned a furious storm." Do we know... anything? I mean, I assume not because it's one of those "If no one lived to tell the tale then who told the tale?" kind of things. If no one's ever been to the Vespertine and come back then no, we don't know anything. How would we?

Imagine signing on to a pirate journey for a specific mission and then being told you can't participate in the one thing you were here to do. They should mutiny. And by mutiny, I mean sneak around behind our backs to come along anyway.

It's what we'd do. With Garl. Specifically.

...Garl over here proudly displaying the scars of my mistakes and meanwhile Patches is over there with perfectly fine eyes covered by two eyepatches and he is not sharing.

There is logic in what the Captain's saying. But I nonetheless can't endorse it because y'all know what we'd be doing in the crew's shoes. Our history speaks for itself.

I dunno. Maybe these pirates are better disciplined than Solstice Warriors are. I thought we were the upstart renegades against proper protocol but Bugraves and Erlina blew us right out of the water in the field of doing what you aren't supposed to. Our disobediences look quaint by comparison.

I guess Moraine isn't a very good indoctrinator. He's been a dismal failure at passing along dogma and shaping belief systems in his students. The Solstice Warriors simply aren't up to the same standards of conformity, blind faith, and rigid structuralism that you so famously find in piracy.

Okay, enough sad reflection. We're on a mission to steal a legendary vessel from a captain with no ownership of it using a magical artifact we no longer possess. Gonna need my game face on because unwarranted confidence is the only asset we have right now.

Ghost ship? More like toast ship amirite?

Look, I was thinking about other stuff, not working on zingers. Point is, we're awesome. What they got? Crusty old bones? Ask Roro how well that went for her!

So what if we lost the coin. We're still going to get the ship. We just have to use Plan B. Don't worry, everybody has a price when the currency is violence.

Oh, I'm ready. I am focused and--

Hold up, if we can control the cycle of night and day, can't we just rewind the clock to the night of the eclipse for another eclipse boost? We have technology in place to do this; Why aren't we using this ability to spam eclipses whenever we--

Oh hey Serai. When did you get here? And where did the pirates go?

...

Oh shit. I mean. WHOA! You were Captain Cliche this WHOLE TIME!? I am both shocked and honored that.... No, sorry, I can't do it.

Same reason you don't call someone out as gay no matter how transparent their glass closet is. I'm a firm believer in identity authoritarianism. You want to present as Mysterious Masked Figure, I'm not gonna stop you.

But now that we're actually having this conversation, yes, everyone already knew.

Don't think of it as losing the macguffin. Think of it as buying a supremely talented chef who will support the ungodly amounts of violence we are about to inflict.

That's okay, your plan was always bad anyway. You should have spent some time at camp talking to Teaks.

Honestly, after our trip to the Dweller's mansion, I'm looking forward to a return to the pleasant simplicity of bashing zombie skulls until they stop moving. Been warming my beatstick in anticipation.

Yeah, we're stupid like that.

Anyway, HANDS IN THE AIR. This is a robb-- Wait, no, that was yesterday. Sorry. Wrong script. Ahem. This is a shipjacking. Still larceny, different genre.

Ha! Success! Now to find out if we die!

Oh, pleasantries! Yeah, nice to meet you. I'm guessing you must be the navigator who wanted a better life? Did they make you captain after the mutiny?

Really should have demanded more than one curse-breaker soulstone from Roro. At the very least, instructions on how to make them would be nice to have, if we're going to keep involving ourselves with every curse on the planet.

Anyways, back to business.

This is a shipjacking. How do you say "Hand 'er over" in pirate curse? In any case, I know it doesn't look like it but Serai is definitely pointing a gun at you right now.

^_^ I'm the gun.

Technically, that only proves that one of us is real. The rest could still be imaginary.

Zale and I are too associated with each other and Serai showed up late in the game. So if one of us is meandering around having hallucinations of companionship, it's probably Garl. This whole thing could be a story he's making up in his head, thinking about the dear friends that were taken from him and who left him alone in childhood.

Probably not, though. I'm sure you're fine, Garl.

We also have a whole fifth person stuffed in his backpack!

Well, it's a pleasure to meet you, Hortence. I would shake your hand but you're dead, ethereal, and possibly on fire.

In any case, I was already on your side of this argument from before we even met so I'd be happy to beat Stormcaller with a stick until he relents. Then you can retire to the unlife you wanted from the start and/or pass on, and we can take your ship.

Everybody wins. Except Stormcaller. But, y'know, fuck him.

The rest of the crew are brainless undead now. Unfortunate, but convenient. It means we don't need to worry about their opinions of the deal we're making.

Sucks for them. They all died for the Captain's hissy fit, which they were specifically trying to end by getting rid of the little shit. The crew did nothing wrong. They're as much victims of Stormcaller's unreasonable tantrum as Hortence is.

But it's super convenient for us that only one person has any ownership claim to this vessel now, and it's the person who wanted to leave from the start. That will help our shipjacking go super smoothly.

Oh, there's a third option. We buy him out. Everyone has a price when the currency--

Goddammit, I already used that line. I wasted it on you, Serai. Why did I do that? I didn't need to impress you! You already think I'm cool!

Okay. But. Counterpoint. I hit things really, really hard. It's hard to do magic when you're being hit really, really hard. There's a game mechanic for that and everything.

Considering everything that we came from on Wraith Island? Yes. I do feel good about our chances here.

[liichkiing]

What are your projects? And yes I am human 👽 (satire lol)

sorry anon this has been sitting in my askbox for a few days i've been meaning to answer it but simply have not. there's a lot going on i really have problems with my brain it's very difficult to formulate coherent thoughtsz. BUT.

L Project [cocreated by a friend who doesn't use tumblr]

Set in an alternate Earth where magic is real and known about publicly. Specifically on a fictional island in the Caribbean (tentatively named Opiake) (specifically mostly in its capitol, New JB City/Ciudad de Nuevo JB) which is referred to as the "magic capitol of the world" due to having much higher than average natural magic. The story takes place primarily in 1982 and onward, but it features many flashbacks to various points in the previous decade as well as some other stuff. The protagonists (and most of the characters at least early on) were test subjects in the titular L Project (Lampara Research Project on Natural Magical Manifestations in Adolescents), a now formally discontinued program, mostly. Out of 22 original subjects, 6 are still affiliated with the project following a 1981 incident in which a team of 8 subjects were on a field assignment which resulted in [DATA EXPUNGED]. Those 8 subjects in particular are the main protagonists! They experience the horrors frequently. There's a lot of death and violence and transsexuality and general queerness. It's all very fun. You can see the main kids here! I could talk about this for one billion years this is the most basic information imaginable. The plot itself is uh. Well there's a lot in here. For context there's like seven or eight books of plot my friend and I have. It's a lot

Of Sea Glass and Stars (often referred to as just Sea Glass) [cocreated with my dear friends @/abstractfrog and @/dooodlebee

Sci-fi podcast concept set on a space station in the distant year of 3045. You don't get more than that. For the vaguest of information about this, peruse this tag on my blog. ::^)

A1-ANON (or just Alanon)

Another sci-fi future story, but this one is much more fantasy oriented. The worldbuilding for this one in particular is very difficult to get into without having to explain a lot more. Basically we follow a genetically engineered demigod who roughly sixty years ago blew up the lab at which they were created and they've since become a terrorist trying to destroy the government. Also there was a huge global war a few centuries back. So. Post apocalyptic sort of but not in the wasteland sorta way. This one's hard to explain. Anyway it's about learning to be a human and also about environmentalism and also about destroying the evil government and also about Catholics being freaks. I can update my lore document and post it if anybody's interested.

STARSHIP: MERLIN

Honestly this one is probably exactly what you think of when you read the name. It's Arthurian Legend but they're space pirates. Some differences, though. Most of them are gay and trans. Also there's some pretty considerable other changes. It's relatively lighthearted and fun and doesn't so much have a plot. I just like Arthurian Legend and want the guys I really like to have fun in space. Also it's really fun for worldbuilding!! I haven't really done much with it in a while.

[starksvinyls]

WIP Post

The rules: Post the names of all the files in your WIP folder, regardless of how non-descriptive or ridiculous. Let people send you an ask with the title that most intrigues them, and then post a little snippet or tell them something about it! Then tag as many people as you have WIPs.

Tagged by: @starkerkitty <3333

Tagging: anyone who wants to do it bc i get anxious tagging people in these things

so i have quite a few wips so i'll stick them under the cut for ease of scrolling the dash lol but also they are all named like one word or are very simple so this game might not work the way intended lmao

a man of science a/b/o mafia tony/peter adopted peter gets tased by dumb guard all i wanted (was you) bio dad borrowers au bucky making amends camboy peter catboy peter cinderella au come back be here au cursed dad tony doesn't know peter is spiderman endgame au father's day FEAST field trip first date gay peter giggly drunk honeymoon sex hooker peter hot ones hybrids au iron man au iron mom au irondad irondad + harley irondad suicidal peter jeopardy junior year kidnapping med transphobia meet the robinsons au meteorologist peter mob boss tony mpreg peter nightmares!peter omega pup single dad au omega run omegaverse peter gets sa'd pa peter peter and ned's super awesome summer vacation peter falls in love with karen peter falls into the void peter tries to pick up morgan from school peter's onlyfans pirates! pooh corner poor peter/sugar daddy tony post endgame iron mom resurrected tony irondad rey pulls an elle woods rimming senior year single mom peter/prof tony omegaverse stow away peter pirate au teen dad peter teen mpreg omegaverse telepathic soulmates tony fixes ca:tws tony is dusted starker au trans peter trans peter 2 trans peter irondad twins au valentine's exchange wip what if...irondad wwe au yoga peter

[cynical-cemeteries]

@mahiru-no and @soony-survived did their own versions of this so i wanna do my own too!!

there's so many on here omg......

my distinct moments are when:

i first met laphlaes back in normal mode and saw him on the screen. and just Immediately knew. i would be obsessed with him

i got prompted to pick my first contract hero and my gay ass picked lairei Without Hesitation

adding onto the last one. when i finished my contract with lairei on the last day of school all the way back in sophomore year

my monarch and mei ling first met and fram thought mei ling had a crush on her and i looked at my screen like "GAY PEOPLE IN THIS GAME????"

meeting rosanna and being like "omg a little pirate"

i found those concept board screenshots of rashad and came here to basically ask "who is this fine ass man." and then became obsessed with him

someone on here posted that concept art of bianca and phrased it like she was a guy with a pretty name and a lot of us were like "ROSANNA HAS A GRANDSON???" but she was actually a fine ass woman

i saved up enough renown to get e. laph and was excited for a whole week

i finally found a way to find fanart through korean fans on twitter and had a FIELD DAY

the official blog dropped a whole bunch of themed collections of artwork and i proceeded to have Another field day. i downloaded every single one of those pictures btw.

rashad got announced for recruitment on july 1st, 2021

i got to hard mode and saw the variations of laphlaes, lucilicca, and lairei. proceeded to go insane.

bianca got announced for recruitment on august 1st, 2021

the whole nerfing situation happened with d. joshua

i met the far east trio and fell for all 3 of them

laphlaes got his first outfit and all of tumblr just EXPLODED

solphi and alev got their first outfits and all of tumblr exploded AGAIN because of the gay ass implications

i got to meet syphfride in extreme mode and got super happy. but then it was only two stages. and i got super confused

the december 2021 holiday illustration dropped and i finally had official art crumbs of rashad and bianca

the war of the tyrants story mode got announced in march of 2022 and i proceeded to go insane

that visual for the first 4 WoT hero appearances dropped on the anniversary stream,, and i looked at raligon and felt myself becoming obsessed with another blorbo

the lairei midnight edition concept art was shown on that same stream and i could not stop thinking about it

i opened the tag and saw two screenshots of raligon's story poses from chapter 2 and i was like "OMG HES SOOOO CUTEEJSKJHDKJSAHFKJDF"

i finally got more lore on brandon and he helped me realize how much i connect with him

the official blog dropped an english translation on brandon's letter to raligon and branrali nation finally had some fucking food to munch on

w. rosanna FINALLY got announced for recruitment back in like august of 2022 but she was $45 and i proceeded to have the worst day of my entire life ever

the commander class happened. (derogatory)

[udaberriwrites]

Heyo Annie! I have returned with the second of the five character asks! This time for Temeraire - tell me about William and Tenzing!

Oh, no, it's Oblivious Noble Idiots this time! My one weakness!

William Laurence

1: sexuality headcanon

I headcanon him as a sex-favorable to sex-neutral ace, very much biromantic, and this is the hill I will die on, please and thank you.

2: otp

I honestly am fine with pretty much every paring and triad here? Of course Tharkay, Granby, Roland and Bonaparte would be at the top of the list, but like... literally any human. Even crossover humans. A Elizabeth/Darcy/Laurence story would make my day xD

...I kind of like the idea of Laurence/Hammond too, because Hammond always looks kind of awestruck and I think it's cute. Plus he was Laurence's second that one time :3

... though Temeraire and Churki would definitely come to blows over who gets to consider the humans as theirs in that ship... so maybe not 😂

3: brotp

Temeraire, of course, who else? I mean, human&dragon friendship is pretty much always awesome, but I adore the open love they show each other, the way they feel like an inevitability. These are Temeraire's formative years, and it's plain to see how he'll cherish them in the future, even with the hardships.

4: notp

Any dragon. Just... purely on the logistics alone, I can't wrap my head around it. Though I do believe that some human somewhere, sometime has indeed tried 😳

5: first headcanon that pops into my head

He was an ensign on the Surprise with this universe's equivalent of Jack Aubrey. They both pretend to hate each other but deep down they are friends.

Laurence pretends to lose bets to give Aubrey money without it seeming like charity, and Aubrey was the first to welcome him back to England after League of Dragons by shaking him and making him promise he's never doing another fool thing again, I swear to God, Will, since when am I the responsible one??

6: favorite line from this character

"I would rather have you by my side than any ship in the fleet" 😭😭

7: one way in which I relate to this character

His reaction to other characters' romantic overtures is to go ????? Wait, were you flirting???? I love it xD

8: thing that gives me second hand embarrassment about this character

That whole bit when Granby tells him he's gay in Crucible of Gold and Laurence is like 🤯. I mean, he does work to get better, but that wasn't his best moment, no

9: cinnamon roll or problematic fave?

He would definitely see himself as a problematic fave, on account on all the disobeying orders and being an aviator and all. But since pretty much the rest of the characters see him as a (very uptight) cinnamon roll, he's outvoted.

Tenzing Tharkay

1: sexuality headcanon

Probably bi, likes stubborn people who won't let him get away with closing himself off to the world. Also, blondes.

2: otp

The man crossed the world (several times over) to be with his Englishman, and brought him a few dozen dragons, if that isn't a declaration of love I don't know what is. Also, random question, would a soulmate bond heal amnesia, no reason, asking for a friend.

3: brotp

Jane Roland. They bond over having been/being attracted to the same moron and the general stupidity of the British populance. Also being scary good and very competent in their fields and keeping the aforementioned moron from getting himself killed.

4: notp

Same as before, any dragon, mainly.

5: first headcanon that pops into my head

He and Granby had gotten drunk together on the tune of "why are all the good ones taken, straight or utterly oblivious, and is chronical stupidity contagious."

6: favorite line from this character

I forget the exact wording, but when he asked Laurence "what if we become pirates together 😙"

7: one way in which I relate to this character

Certainly not his sense of direction, I'd get lost on an empty field xD

8: thing that gives me second hand embarrassment about this character

Him leaving without confessing explaining what he meant when he offered Laurence to run away together. Twice.

9: cinnamon roll or problematic fave?

Neither, he's too prickly to be a cinnamon roll and while others in universe are bigoted towards him, his epic relationship with the gang is actually quite wholesome.

[fan-cam]

2022 Wrap up (4 Top 5)

Hello and happy holidays! Over the last few weeks I have been pouring over lists of the top albums, songs and movies of 2022, thrilled to see what the world (or at least high budget magazines) are saying about these past twelve months. This year has felt a little more ‘normal’ (not really sure what that word means anymore, or if it even should exist) than the past two and as a result we have received a lot of exciting art.

If I love anything, its making lists. I love keeping track of what media I have consumed, things I need to buy, people I have been romantic with (zodiac signs included), and ranking my various ‘best of’s’.  Below you will find 4 lists of my Top 5 of 2022; TV shows, movies, albums and songs. Each selection is deserving of its own several page deep-dive, but I limited myself to a one-sentence review of each as I know attention spans are quite fleeting these days (my own included). Please enjoy and share your own thoughts!

TV Shows:

HOT D, Season 1

Game of Thrones with a bigger budget, advanced technology and more feminism.

2. Rings of Power, Season 1

Like HOT D, Lord of the Rings but with more than just white men, and a $1M/minute budget (yes, you read that right).

3. Our Flag Means Death, Season 1

Taika Waititi’s new project about gay pirates—do I need to say anything more?

4. Derry Girls, Season 3

Martin Scorsese likes this show, so if my endorsement isn’t enough for you his should be.

5. The Summer I Turned Pretty, Season 1

I feel like most of my life is trying to get back to being a teenage girl and this show really did that for me.

Movies:

Bones and All, Luca Guadagnino

A coming of age cannibal love story that makes you scream, jump, plug your ears, cover your eyes, laugh and cry—what more could you want?

2. Aftersun, Charlotte Wells

Beautiful imagery, incapacitatingly sad plot (my favorite juxtaposition).   

3. X, Ti West

A love letter to horror film, chock full of references that made me feel like all my years spent on horror amounted to something.

4. Bodies, Bodies, Bodies, Halina Rejin

I love blood, I love girls, I love a whodunit, I love jokes—this is my dream film, also Pete Davidson is in it.

5. Tar, Todd Field

This movie is making fun of high-brow art which is funny because this movie is loved by people who love high-brow art.

Albums:

Preacher’s Daughter, Ethel Cain

A 75-minute concept album tackling love, abuse, lots of God, sex and being cannibalized with memorizing vocals, quite the feat for a debut LP.

2. Being Funny in a Foreign Language, The 1975

From dick jokes and a pop song about incel mass shootings to devastating breakup anthems, this album makes you experience most emotions.

3. Renaissance, Beyoncé

This album proves that Beyoncé can literally do anything well; a disco-club-banger-no-skips album invocative of the 70s but that absolutely hits in 2022? No problem. (sorry, this is technically two sentences)

4. Motomami, ROSALIA

Being A Bad Bitch in a Foreign Language: I have no idea what she’s saying but the emotion she conveys through her voice and the flawlessly produced beats transcend language.

5. Caprisongs, FKA Twigs

Another club-banger of an album which deals with being both hot and sad at the same time, relatable.

Songs:

Part of the Band, The 1975

There is so much to say about this song but the ‘Vaccinista, tote bag chic baristas’ line changed my life and I haven’t been the same since.

2. Killer, FKA Twigs

She called this ‘a song for baddies with a tear in their eyes’ and I cannot say anything better.

3. Anti-Hero, Taylor Swift

Famous for being vulnerable, Taylor reaches a new level of honesty with this song, expressing the very unrelatable difficulties that come along with being Taylor Swift in an extremely relatable way.

4. Hard Times, Ethel Cain

A song about a horrific topic, sung in the most ethereal way with stunning guitar accompaniment— once again, we love juxtaposition on this blog.   

5. Weird Goodbyes, The National Ft. Bon Iver

The saddest lyrics you will ever hear, overlayed with a sick 808 beat.

[nightly-ruse]

barley for the ask game please

sexuality headcanon

Pretty usual but I like gay barley

gender/pronouns headcanon

Okay unusual one but trans masc Barley using he/him pronouns. Idk he’s a queer cowboy to me

rate them out of ten

Solid 6/10. Not like a favorite or disliked at all. A little more positive then neutral

favorite thing about them

He’s a gay cowboy cat what’s not to like about that? He also has massive like gay uncle vibes to me and helps a lot of cats find themselves.

least favorite thing about them

Not a fan of how he worrisome he’s portrayed because of my vision of him being this laid back, figured out life kinda guy. I mean it’s not horrible it’s just not how I view him.

why i first started liking/disliking them

This past year I’ve started liking him more. Honestly never thought about him before but I do enjoy him as a character. Love his sister a lot she’s amazing Violet for the win

do i relate/project onto/kin them?

Nope not really

favorite quote/moment

“Every day, every heartbeat. But it’s easier now, I know my times is near and whatever path Ravenpaw’s spirit is also soon will I be beside him”

-Barley to Graystripe in Graystripe’s Vow

my fav ship

I mean RavenBarley lol that’s the only one I think of for him. Tho he does seem to type to have a few platonic partners as well

my fav platonic friendship

None that I can think of

a ship i hate

I don’t think there are any ships outside of RavenBarley for him so no

do i prefer canon or fanon?

Hmm it’s hard bc I like some fanon and some canon. He’s a laid back gay cowboy cat to me who helped Raven see who he was himself and cares for any cat who needs it. He’s just a cool dude

random headcanon

Has ate a cigar. He found it and ate it, did not taste that good but not necessarily horrible

what color do i picture them as

Such a yellow orange color. Sorta like the inside of a orange

cat breed headcanon

Main coon Barley always sits in my mind. That or British shorthair Barley

unpopular opinion

I don’t care for angsty barley very much at all. Just can’t picture him like that though he does have a bit of trauma in his past from Bloodclan.

things i associate with them

Ravenpaw lol. And wheat he’s just a wheat field

song i associate with them

That’s Okay by the Hush Sound or Who are you, Really? By Mikky Ekko

favorite MAP/PMV/AMV with them

I don’t think there are any? Oh I guess Ocean Breathes Salty does feature him and I liked him in that. I’ll take pirate Barley as well

[meanwhileinstasiville]

Trying to get google to tell me about this

And someone at library reference is pitching something of a proselytizing attempt with name drops and such, seeming to be *against* browsing Chinese lunar new year (which it is), and a sorting system based on astrology for real people's lives (which there is). And they don't know what the nature of what I'm reading has to do with, and it's really none of their business.

But I live in a company town.

AND google seemed specifically unhelpful *unless* it could be framed in terms of work.

When *we elect a black president*, Americans signal that black people (specifically men but we'll get a woman someday ;) should go in executive functions and positions of authority. For a whole term or even two; leaders "like the president". America's version of what China does (and that may change a little too).

And this is broader but similar to what I noticed about white supremacist types when I was in highschool; small life defining reference pool. Can't afford meat and potatoes? Better buy tiny portions because anything else is un American. Anime is dbz and *not* Dragonball because that's steeped in plot and journey to the west. A Chinese Buddhist monk story. And math is from Germany. And things don't become ideas until white people have them. And everyone is hyper masculine but no one is gay even though *there are no women in Dragonball z*; fanfiction authors had a field day with "groups of men going into the bathroom together and coming out smelling like cheese". Sex was *not* a plot point and why that was going on was left as an exercise to the reader.

They're not working with a lot of tools but very hard, and even more determined. And you *can* run a society this way too, and the dot-com era was a lot like a retread of that 1950s thing that wouldn't die. Seems better to be in China if superficially similar to what I'm describing.

"No true scotsman" as if the whole goal is to become in charge of what a scotsman is. We had that one muslim pirate who happened to wear an eye patch. Became a symbol of leadership though people wanted to argue not having depth perception was an advantage. They're not good at reconciling real life.

[yeasty-boy]

I posted 248 times in 2022

That's 212 more posts than 2021!

19 posts created (8%)

229 posts reblogged (92%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@gay-panic-in-a-bottle

@dingdongyouarewrong

@nandodelacruz

@bestmannequin2018

@starfleetrambo

I tagged 84 of my posts in 2022

#pathologic - 18 posts

#unreality - 7 posts

#artemy burakh - 6 posts

#goncharov - 5 posts

#daniil dankovsky - 5 posts

#i would die for each of these doggos - 2 posts

#artemy my beloved - 2 posts

#clara the changeling - 2 posts

#someone please knock me out - 2 posts

#been using it to make my insomniac episode more bearable - 2 posts

Longest Tag: 112 characters

#like the game is one bog performance so having the characters being literal actors is just ✨ muah ✨ chiefs kiss

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

....

Why is this trending

2 notes - Posted December 7, 2022

#4

I just rewatched the goncharov and holy shit I have so much to talk about

First of all I absolutely love the way that color is used in these movies. It reminds me of some of the earlier films to use it, in that it was used sparingly. Everything is bland and bleak save for a singular accent color. It naturally draws the eye to the focus and makes everything else fade into the background and also taking away general noise

The color red is given a specific connotation in conjugation with the apple motif, symbolizing a loss of innocence through ones one choices, specifically the sort brought about through betrayal. When Katya kills her husband she is covered in blood, specifically staining her white coat, which has been used to present shelteredness and safety (though can also be interpreted as being trapped, which ever resonates more with you). Until this point she has never directly killed anyone and here she is, look how far she has fallen, covered in her own betrayal. She has destroyed the thing which protected her, melted her wax wings, but her fall is the most free she has ever been

Not only that but the use of green being interpreted as freedom (or alternatively wishes and desires). In Katya's final moments, she pictures Sofia, surrounded by lush green fields, forest, and freedom. Sofia up until this point has been wearing blue (which I can go into it's symbolism later) but in this moment she is wearing stark green, making nature itself look dull by comparison. She is the true freedom and only in death does Katya realize the gravity of that

(also I just love these two so much, like yes they are terribly people who cannot communicate basic emotions and if they just talked then at least two people could have had a happy ended but at the same time that's their tragedy because there was never a world where they could have ran away because katya would always be katya and sofia would always be sofia)

3 notes - Posted November 20, 2022

#3

One thing I wanted to talk about was how fucking hard it is to find this movie. Like I heard about it through a friend of a friend who went on and on about how great this thing was so I decided to pirate it but it was impossible. Like every single one was either filmed on someones wet pasta noodle and then deep fried, or just covered in ads making it impossible to watch

After that I decided to look through my dad's massive movie collection (the man has well over 2000 movies saved to discs so if anyone had this film it would be him)

At this point I didn't even care about the movie, it was now a matter of pride. This movie existed and was thwarting my attempts to find it for well over a week now and I would be damned if it won

I sifted through boxes of movies, covered in dust, looking for the picture which was now burned into my brain. On the 3 box I found it, innocuous and real. The disc case was still intact, though the paper picture inside was warped from water damage. At this point I was fully expecting the movie not to exist and here it was, in my grubby little hands. I practically sprinted to my computer and started to play the movie. I was shaking from the discovery, after days of searching I found it, all on my dad's Blu-ray dvd

I'm sure now it has become much easier to pirate it (with growing awareness and such) but I'm almost glad that I had to work so hard to find it. That somewhere in my house it had been waiting for someone to open it up again and take a look

3 notes - Posted November 20, 2022

#2

One of the reasons I love the barter system in pathologic is because it makes me feel like the middling part of a failed pyramid scheme. I run around, the vast majority of my inventory taken up by objects that are useless to me, in hopes of finding someone who will be willing to exchange it for something less useless. On the third day I distinctly remember running around with 10 various nuts, looking for the exact bullets I needed. Because of the various things you can trade, I end up hoarding complete trash and I love it

20 notes - Posted August 3, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

I don't know why but I absolutely adore the idea of pathologic time loop au. Like the character go through their twelve days and then BAM "IM BACK IN THE FUCKING BUILDING????"

They all navigate the second run in complete terror and confusion, jumping around through what little they remember of their quests and kinda doing better? But it mainly being hindered by their own existential dread, confusion, and general trying to figure what the fuck is going on.

Then it just repeats on infantum until (I'm choosing Clara for this since she's the resident strange girl) figures out a solution and everyone gets a semi happy ending or they have to make big sacrifice, what ever floats your boat

21 notes - Posted July 27, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[coolmaycroft]

So why is Martin scorsese so insistent Goncharov doesn't exist?

So, if you try and search it you'll find it's not listed in his filmography nor are there records of it existing.

The reason is because Scorsese has gone above and beyond to bury the existence of this film. We don't know if it's about shame, or hatred but he really does not like acknowledging this movie's existence.

One of the things that helped is that the movie was never officially released. The story of the troubled production is no secret; the writer kept going back and forth adding to Katya's chacarcter, The crew almost got arrested when they set fire to the farm for the arson scene, and tall the gay subtext got the producers nervous. The making of this movie was a disaster. Socrsese, in one of the few times he's spoken of it called it "An exercise in trying to function with less than 4 hours of sleep". Probably because it was all resting on his shoulders and at the time he was still a young director and they way the production was going he was gonna go down in history like the guy that released the worst movie in history.

So the studio (we don't know which because this movies is SUCH an embarrassment that no one will come out and say they greenlit it) decided to write it off as a loss, and shelved it some godforsaken studio warehouse probably next to the ark of the convenant.

Then, years pass, Scorsese becomes one of the biggest names in hollywood and at some point they're cleaning the warehouse where the movie is and they see it's Martin scorsese's lost movie or some shit, so they plan to give it a VHS collector's edition release. Word gets out to him and legend has it he stormed the place and threatened to rain legal hell on the studio if they so much as make one single cassette of that cursed film.

So the studio backs off and cancells the VHS release but by the time this happened there were a few tapes produced. And you bet film bros aren't gonna let this movie die in obscurity, so they start to pass the VHS around illegaly, making sure Scorsese doesn't know about it because so-help-you god if he finds out there's people that have watched this movie.

And so, years go by, the movie becoming a sort unicorn of the movie industry: everyone knew about it but few had actually seen it. At some point the VHS gets converted to celluloid (and note that this is still prolly the 80's we're talking about) and people start to make secret showings in college theaters and little film festivals of Martin Scorsese's secret movie. so a few people DO get to see it in a theater. But again, the rumor says that people that were showing the movie would get a letter in the mail fron Scorsese himself saying he'd sue them to bankrupcy if they dared to continue showing Goncharov.

So no one has the balls to show it in an ACTUAL movie theater because by this time Scorsese knew the movie was out and that people had seen it but it's not like the studio was gonna go ahead and release it in mainstream theaters and risk the fury of visionary director Martin Scrosese. So it becomes this urban legend up until the internet era.

By now you can find the movie in torrent sites but if you pay close attention you'll see that most of what gets pirated is the mainstream: the latest shows and movies. You can find all the obscure movies you want but again, those don't really make a lot of noise. And for all the symbolism and atmosphere the movie has it's just really not that good, we might even say it's kinda mediocre. Reason why it never really stood out in the last 15 years or so.

And now Tumblr, being tumblr is having a field day because they just discovered this lost queer film by one of the biggest directors of all time.

[orderxchaos]

The saying "all is fair in love and war" is derived from the line "the rules of fair play do not apply in love and war" which was published in 1579 and is often used to justify cheating

[genderascendant]

✨ofmd fic rec list✨

Here it is, the list absolutely no one one of my friends all of you have been waiting for: my our flag means death fic recs!! Now, I mostly like AUs and long-ish fics and am ambivalent about smut, so that's what most of this list is; but I put a couple of very special post-canon fics at the beginning, and shorter or one-shot fics at the end. My absolute favorites are marked with 🌸. Enjoy! 💖

post-canon-ish

🌸 Chiaroscuro by @menaceanon - WIP, 22k, T - gratuitous Mary and Ed get to be buds content. Their friendship and bonding is so so sweet, and especially since Jenkins said Mary probably won't make a return...... enjoy it here!!

Uncle Ed by StormySeaWitch - WIP, 21k, T - twin narratives about Ed adopting the kiddos, and one I actually like even more: Stede and co. slowly plotting and executing a takeover of the English naval ship that rescued them:') It's great Stede competence and killing-with-kindness content

Wayfaring by @justkeeptrekkin - 35k, E - Unbelievable masterpiece where Stede and Ed have to make up on the deserted island they're stranded on. The exploration of EMOTIONS. The ROMANTICISM, the SCENES. I have no words, you just have to read it

🌸 the only proof the field existed by @nonagethimus - 22k, M - Also a masterpiece. Part 1 is a searing character study of Ed and Lucius, and part 2 is a perfect reunion. Screaming and crying and throwing up.

AUs

🌸 it's what isn't in the name by tciddaemina - 41k, M - the entire Season 1 rewritten as a daemon AU. Absolutely love the characterization here and it feels so real, i came out feeling like i had an entire extra version of the season in my brain.

it's a beautiful night, we're looking for something dumb to do by lacecat - WIP, 33k, M - Stede opens a gastropub. Ed owns the dive bar down the street. An accidental murder leads to... them getting married the day they meet so they can't be made to testify against each other. It's SO well plotted and sweet and funny that so far, it's my only reread.

🌸 Ship in a Bottle by @neverwaswise - WIP, 14k, NR - HRRRNGH i am so obsessed with this one. Lighthouse keeper Stede, literal kraken Ed. The characterization is INCREDIBLE and i absolutely LIVE and am FERAL for this Little Mermaidy version of Ed. THE SWEETNESS!!!!! Shutting up now!

Bark and Bite by @amuseoffyre - WIP, 32k, M - the vampire/werewolf AU of my DREAMS. Season 1 rewritten with vampire!ed and werewolf!stede, of course. It's incredibly silly and sweet, and I love how they work the au into the canon. An update always brightens my day!!

🌸 this tired world could change by @sassygwaine - 95k, E - FERAL I SAY. Stede is a depressed office worker at his dad's company, Ed is a mechanic and ex-enforcer for the mob. The way their relationship is written and grows is.......... so, so beautiful, I can't even. There's a sequel coming!!

We were the winds -writing our names in the sky- by sapphos_gh0st - WIP, 37k, T - What if Ed and Stede met as teenagers? Impossibly sweet and fluffy, literally soothes my soul. Boys finding the love and sweetness and care they DESERVE *clenches fist*

🌸 Once Upon a Summer in San Francisco by samwise - WIP, 95k, M - This fic has me in a fucking chokehold. I am rabid about it, obsessed. 1970s AU, Ed is a drug dealer with a record store front, and meets Stede at a music festival. Their lives and their world feel so real and lived-in, which makes their love story that much more compelling. Excellent and often HYSTERICAL prose, especially from Lucius, and I want to live in Stede's gay commune-house with the crew SO badly.

Our Flag Means Rock by @captain-athos - 22k, M - This one has really taken up residence in my brain! 1960s pirate radio AU, and the author really knows and cares about music history. Made me go listen to the Beach Boys!

This Could Be Love by @zombee - 16k, E - Ed is an ex-professional skier who meets Stede at a hotel conference... and fake dating AND only-one-bed ensue! I particularly love their take on DESPERATELY horny Ed

shorter AUs and whatnot

you'll marry a music man by @soft-october-night - 7k, T - "Poor man's Elton John" Stede covers one of Ed's songs! Soooo sweet and funny

in the margins by @weatheredlaw - 3k, T - Ed and Stede find each other over and over, in every life. This one is so healing, kind of ties the whole idea of reading AUs together, and is especially nice after watching Everything Everywhere All At Once

a small adventure by @sassygwaine - 4k, T - Dungeons and Dragons podcasting AU! Their exchange about tabaxis is probably going to stick in my head forever!!

Dealt a Soft Hand by @mintly - 12k, M - ACCIDENTAL DRUNKEN VEGAS WEDDING, and also Ed is a professional gambler. Funny and sweet

🌸 Washington Square Park Dog Run for Larger Dogs by @fortinbrasftw - 6k, T - Ed and Stede meet at the dog park, and later, Izzy and James Flint meet at the dog park. Hilarious, perfect characterization. I've never seen Black Sails and it did not impact my IMMENSE enjoyment of these fics at all.

that's all for now! got recommendations? reblog or reply! 💖

[orangechickenpillow]

I need to say something about Ed wearing Stede’s clothes or I’ll simply die.

 Okay, so when the two first meet, obviously there’s that scene where Ed picks up one of Stede's silk dressing gowns (I think that’s what it is anyway) and rubs it on his cheek. And Stede asks him something along the lines of if he likes nice fabrics, or whatever, and Ed distractedly replies that he does. 

Then later, we find out that Ed kept a piece of red fabric that his mother gave him when she told him that they’ll “never be those kind of people” or whatever -- pretty much telling him that he’ll never be wealthy (or happy, really, since happiness/contentment is often linked to wealth). 

Ed purposefully held onto this fabric, possibly as a reminder of where he came from and maybe a reminder of who he’ll never be. 

But then he meets Stede, a fairly wealthy man with nice things and a big heart. And the first thing that Stede does is show him his closet (gay gay homosexual, etc) where all his fancy clothes are. Ed is completely enamored by this, and so what do they do? They literally swap wardrobes. 

So now, not only does Stede get to play the badass pirate roll that he so desperately desires, but Ed gets to dress up in the clothes of the people his mother told him he’d never get to be like. 

But this progresses further when he and Stede become friends and start to learn from each other. We see Ed get to dress up to go to a fancy party, and the infamous “you wear nice things well” line happens (kill me) where it is obvious that Ed’s feelings for Stede have progressed past “oh we’re just pirate bros" into something more. Then Ed even starts to wear things other than black leather (the purple shirt in episode 7, which I’m convinced he must have gotten from Stede). 

Ed is starting to let himself believe that maybe he can have the things that his mother told him he never would. Sure, he might not be rich, but maybe he can have happiness, love, a life that is soft, a relationship filled with mutual adoration and care. 

But these emotions are hard for Ed to hang onto, as we saw in episode 6 with the Kraken. Ed still feels like he isn’t worthy of nice things, even beyond the claim that God would have given it to him if is was meant to be, as his mother had said. Ed feels that he personally doesn’t deserve softness, love, care -- in a sense: nice fabrics.

So it is interesting to me that his first instinct when he is in so much pain is to find Stede’s dressing gown. We see him using it as a blanket when he’s hiding in the bathtub. 

So you’re telling me that this man found Stede’s dressing gown (a piece of clothing that Stede wore nearly every day, and is made of the “nice fabric” that Ed thinks he doesn’t deserve/will never have) when he was in emotional distress. Fuck. 

But it happens again at the end of the show. When Ed thinks Stede has left him, and is going through the inevitable heartbreak of dealing with that, what does Ed wear? You fucking guessed it -- another one of Stede’s dressing gown (namely, the one Stede used to replace the yellow one that Ed probably stole after the bathtub scene). 

Not only is this probably an attempt to feel closer to Stede (it smells like him, folks. It smells like him), but I feel like it’s also Ed’s way of desperately trying to hold onto the life he thought he could have with Stede. The life that was filled with all those things he didn’t have as a child. Love, compassion, gentleness, and nice fabric. 

I may be reading into this too much. I may be lost in left field. I may be losing my mind about these fucking gay pirates. I really don’t know, but there is something so intimate about wearing someone else’s clothes, and I really feel that Ed did it because he so truly loves and desires Stede and the life that they could have lead together. 

[boylikeanangel]

Oh man abt getting into the show from they start that anon was so right. I started watching it the day after the first eps came out and not having any real expectations for it was amazing. All of a sudden it was not some exhausting queerbait it was real. Seeing ppl watch it when they know it’s gonna be gay already just doesn’t have the same spice. I think I unlocked new emotions watching the Ed’s bar n grill scene

RIGHT......again it's about the "oh my god this is happening" of it all. I literally went into it totally blind based off ONE friend's recommendation (I had no idea blackbeard was even a major character, I thought it was just another fun Taika Cameo. the idea that he was one of the ROMANTIC LEADS came completely out of left field for me) and I knew nothing other than it was about pirates. so when episode 4 came around and the love story came crashing through the walls I literally did not know what to do with myself. I couldn't believe what I was seeing. i'm so glad I got that specific experience because watching the most epic romance of my life unfold in front of my eyes after not expecting for a single moment that this show was gonna be anything more than the silly pirate comedy was honestly one of the best feelings in the world