#the great vizzini

[krakenshipwreck]

belly got a shorty! pyotr in goal! it’s opposite day and the kraken are outforechecking the canes! what a fantastic first game of the season! the kraken waited for me before they could finally decide to play hockey i guess.

[griffinsmith]

who up remembering barkingham palace rn

[fanaticsnail]

Same person as the last anon but omg the Sapsorrow brainrot is real! Like I can't stop thinking about your amazing! In honor of said brainrot, allow me to present to you, if you will, Sapsorrow Princess Bride AU.

-We already know that Mihawk can disguse himself well (Mihawk's Farm-Hand and Wesley's Farm-Boy I-)

-We know Governess is beautiful with a lot of people thinking the same thing, so it wouldn't be a stretch that she could end up in the same situation as Buttercup

-Mihawk has a long history of piracy and an penchant for wearing black (Dread Pirate Robberts/the man in black)

-He's a great swordsman, and a skilled fighter, not to mention fiercely protective (imagine Zoro as Innigo? Skilled swordsman with a thirst for revenge.)

-Finally, imagine Westley's sarcasm/dry humor coming from Mihawk, do you see the vision?

To summarize I'm in love with this series and with you for writing it. Have an awesome day/night. (Feel free to ignore btw)

Oh, sweetheart. The way I immediately was like: "to the mood-board I go 💃" when seeing your ask!

The princess bride is one of my all-time favourites: book and movie.

Mihawk as Westley while he looks so Inigo though 🫦.

HAH OH MY GOSH BUT WHAT IF: Fezzik as Sir Crocodile, Inigo as Mihawk, Vizzini as Buggy for Cross-Guild though... @feral-artistry, I know you want to......

I am so glad you have been enjoying my Sapsorrow Au. It was a spur of the moment thought while talking to my sister, @since-im-already-here - who likely loves Mihawk more than I do.

Ooooooh but Mihawk as Westley, handing the reigns over to Zoro as Inigo when he marries Governess' Buttercup. AAAAAAAA sobbing. Sobbing, weeping, mourning.

"There is something I must tell you."

"And, what might that be?"

"I'm not left-handed, either."

I could not, would not, ignore this. And you have a wonderful day, sweet anon!

[musicalcastingideas]

The Princess Bride Musical Dreamcast

The fact that with all the new broadway musicals are adaptations and NO ONE has done the Princess Bride yet is absolutely criminal, so if that were to hypothetically happen, here's my dream cast list.

Framing Device:

Grandchild: I can't really put anyone for grandchild, since I don't know many child actors, but I do think there should be a rotating cast, like they had with Mathilda on Broadway.

Grandfather: Mandy Patinkin, aka the original Inigo Montoya.

Mother: Robin Wright, aka the original Princess Buttercup.

I think it would be really sweet and fun to have two of the original movie's cast play parts in the framing device, almost like they're passing the baton of telling the story to the next cast.

Main Story:

Westly: Joshua Henry

I don't know if this is a controversial statement, but Westly is a baritone, and I think Joshua Henry would be absolutely perfect. He's charming as fuck, he's a phenomenal actor and vocalist, and he's absolutely gorgeous. Perfect leading man for a story that is about telling the best story ever.

Buttercup: Maria Bilbao

I think Buttercup would be a legit soprano, and as a big fan of Sweeney Todd and the recent revival, Maria Bilbao, who played Johanna, would be absolutely perfect for it. Just go listen to her Green Finch and Linnet Bird and you'll get it.

Inigo Montoya: Colman Domingo

Does Colman Domingo sing? I don't know. Could he act the absolute SHIT out of the confrontation between Inigo and the Six-Fingered Man? ABSOLUTELY. I have this vision of how to adapt the scene, which would also kinda translate Inigo's arc to a musical version. So in the original, the Six-Fingered Man trying anything to manipulate him, mocking him, that great "you have an overdeveloped sense of vengeance line, and Inigo is just not having it. He just keeps repeating the iconic line over and over again. In the musical, I would have the six-fingered man sing, like he's trying to get Inigo to sing with him, to give in to the performance, but Inigo won't sing, he just keeps repeating his line over and over. He refuses to conform to the typical "rising above" narrative and leave the Six-Fingered Man alive, he will be true to himself and his mission and won't let himself be distracted. Anyway, I don't know if this is a good idea, but Colman Domingo would be amazing either way.

Prince Humperdink: Aaron Tveit

I think Prince Humperdink should be the archetypal tenor boy and who is a better representation of current archetypal tenor boys on broadway than Aaron Tveit? Also he's really talented and I think he would act the shit out of this smarmy bastard role.

Count Rugen aka The Six Fingered Man: Josh Groban

I need Josh Groban on Broadway more, and I think he would do great at a quieter villain role, especially coming off a more angry and bloodthirsty role like Sweeney Todd. Also he looks a bit like the original Count Rugen, so that's a bonus.

Vizzini: Alex Brightman

I don't really have much behind this one, other than Vizzini is a weird little guy and Alex Brightman plays weird little guys really well.

Fezzik: Jason Segal

So ideally, I'd actually be able to cast an actor with gigantism to play the part, but I don't know of any, and couldn't find any while googling, so this is my backup essentially. During the lockdowns, a bunch of celebrities did The Princess Bride over zoom, and the scene with Rainn Wilson as Vizzini, Pedro Pascal as Inigo and Jason Segal as Fezzik is genuinely really great, but Jason Segal's Fezzik impression is spot-on and actually amazing. Also, we know from the Muppet Movie, How I Met Your Mother and Forgetting Sarah Marshall that he can sing so, I think he would do great.

Miracle Max and Valerie: Joey Richter and Lauren Lopez

I assume posting this to Tumblr, more people would know who Joey Richter and Lauren Lopez are than the average social media platform, but they are part of Team Starkid and Tin Can Bros and do some fantastic original musicals (please look up the Hatchetfield Trilogy and Spies Are Forever if you haven't seen them yet). They're both extremely talented performers, and also married in real life, so they would absolutely kill this.

Clergyman(Mawage guy): Brian d'Arcy James

I don't really have much of a reasoning behind this, I just think he'd do a good job.

Backups/Close Calls:

Denee Benton as Princess Buttercup

She's one of the best parts of Natasha, Pierre and the Great Comet of 1812, and that's saying something because that musical is (in my opinion) one of the best of all time

Pedro Pascal as Inigo Montoya

I don't know if he sings, and he would be amazing for this, but I wanted to challenge myself to think outside the most obvious choice. However, sometimes the obvious choice is a good one.

Bernadette Peters as Valerie

If the Witch from Into the Woods found love and inner peace

[imagitory]

Just for the record, guys? I've seen the new Haunted Mansion movie multiple times now, and it's really good. Like -- really good. It's like the filmmakers took into account all of the problems I had with the Eddie Murphy film after my mum and I first saw it in theaters back in 2003 while working on their project.

In the Eddie Murphy film, I felt like just about everyone -- excluding the actors playing Edward Gracey and the butler -- were miscast. The child actors weren't that great, the two servant ghosts weren't that memorable (aside from Wallace Shawn reminding me of Vizzini the entire time), Jennifer Tilly as Madame Leota was as terrible of a casting choice as Kristen Chenowith playing Maleficent (sorry, Descendants fans, but -- what??), and Eddie Murphy himself...yeesh. Worst of all though, the woman playing Eddie Murphy's wife was a wooden plank of an actor, which made it so hard to engage with her when she's arguably one of the most important characters in the narrative.

In this film, just about every single person is perfectly cast. Every last one. Danny DeVito, Rosario Dawson...even Owen Wilson surprised me! Chase Dillon as Travis...that kid is going places, I'm saying it now! LaKeith Stanfield in particular was absolutely stellar: I even cried at one point, watching his performance, when I almost never cry at movies. Even Jared Leto -- who I admittedly don't know if I would've hired, given his history -- wasn't a bad choice, just as an actor. He certainly gave off "unlikable creep" vibes as the Hatbox Ghost -- so hey, I guess we have type casting, at least! I admittedly wouldn't have picked Jamie Lee Curtis to play Madame Leota, but she was still an infinitely better choice than Jennifer Tilly.

In the Eddie Murphy film, it leaned a lot on slapstick and pop culture humor, as opposed to any of the macabre dark comedy that the Haunted Mansion ride is known for. Eddie Murphy's style of humor really just didn't fit in with the tone of the original ride and the objectively beautiful Gothic sets the filmmakers had designed.

Yes, admittedly, the new Haunted Mansion movie uses pop culture references too (often in the form of rather forced product placements), but I won't lie, they still got a chuckle out of me, particularly since they weren't the only source of humor in the film. There were snappy retorts, cynical asides, subverted expectations, and -- of course -- dark humor, on tone with the ride. One rather funny bit ends up involving Ben and Father Kent trying and failing to convince elderly Bruce not to come to the Mansion after the old man says he's having heart surgery the following week, and later on, Bruce gets the particularly macabre one-liner "I'm too old to die!" right as he's being thrown in front of a speeding truck. We have Bruce cracking a joke to offer comfort during a really heartbreaking scene, rather than just to divert attention away from Ben's grief. We even have the rhyming headstones at one point!

The Eddie Murphy film focused way too much on Eddie Murphy's character being a "bad" father for working so much, rather than the way more interesting ghost story about Master Gracey and Elizabeth. We also get almost no references to the Haunted Mansion-canon characters aside from "Master Gracey" and Madame Leota.

In this new film, the backstories and personalities of the human characters tie INTO the story line with the ghosts, rather than distracting from it. Ben's dealing (very badly) with the grief of losing his wife Alyssa, which makes him particularly vulnerable to the Hatbox Ghost's machinations. Gabbie and Travis are similarly coming to grips with the loss of their husband/father. Travis is also having to contend with being the new kid in town and not having any friends while living in this haunted house that makes both things even harder. "Father Kent" gets hired to do an exorcism for Gabbie and Travis, only to get trapped by the ghosts himself, when he's not even a real priest, but he ends up using his own skill for persuasion and his strong emotional intelligence to bring in the other people they need to stop the Hatbox Ghost. Bruce has been obsessed with the lore surrounding the Mansion and similarly haunted houses for years, which makes him a valuable resource for exposition about the Mansion and later about the Hatbox Ghost's backstory. Harriet, as the resident medium, not only serves as the main combatant force against the Hatbox Ghost at the end since she has the power to banish him, but she gives great exposition about how our world fits in with the spirit world and this universe's "rules" about how they relate to each other. I kind of miss any real use of the Ghost Host, and I admittedly don't love this film's interpretation of Constance Hatchaway, since in the ride she's much more greedy and conniving, rather than just a flat-out maniac (plus, I'm sorry, but the story has both a ghost who chops people's heads off and another ghost who lost their head via decapitation and didn't connect their backstories together??) -- but we still have WAY more love for both the Disneyland and Walt Disney World's incarnations of the ride in this film than in its predecessor. There are even references to the creepy wallpaper and the bat-gargoyle stanchions in the queues!

And then there was my biggest gripe with the Eddie Murphy film -- that at the end, the curse is broken and all the little ghosts are "set free," leaving the "Haunted Mansion" largely abandoned. You know -- when the whole POINT of the Haunted Mansion is that it's filled with 999 happy haunts who want to be there? It'd be like ending a Pirates of the Caribbean film with Captain Jack Sparrow joining the Navy! Yeah, screw that -- this new film has their ghosts stay and make themselves comfy alongside their new living residents. Talk about an awesome fantasy for kids -- I would've loved living in a house like this Mansion, full of fun happy haunts who host rocking parties every Halloween!

But yeah -- I wouldn't say this film is perfect, of course...but if you're a fan of the Haunted Mansion ride, and want a film that captures its sense of creepy, Gothic beauty and dark humor without being needlessly gory or graphic, there's a damn good chance you'll love this. I know this movie should've been released in October and it's not really the "spooky time of year" right now, but please consider giving it some support in theaters, where the actors and writers who deserve your love will get a larger piece of the profit pie for their hard work than when films go to streaming.

[gwendolynlerman]

Books I want to read in 2024

I was inspired by @fluencylevelfrench to write this post, so here are the 50 books I want to read in 2024, which is my provisional Goodreads goal. (I always set a lowish number and adjust it throughout the year depending on how my goal progresses.) Last year, I read 121 books, so I'm hoping to be able to read at least 100, but I have no idea what my year is going to look like.

1Q84 Book 1 by Haruki Murakami (currently reading)

1Q84 Book 2 by Haruki Murakami

1Q84 Book 3 by Haruki Murakami

Hamburg – hin und zurück by Felix & Theo

Stargirl by Jerry Spinelli

Die Verwandlung by Franz Kafka

Words and Rules: The Ingredients of Language by Steven Pinker

Love, Stargirl by Jerry Spinelli

International Relations Theory by Stephen McGlinchey

You Are What You Speak: Grammar Grouches, Language Laws and the Power of Words by Robert Lane Greene

Freakonomics: A Rogue Economist Explores the Hidden Side of Everything by Steven D. Levitt

Meditations on Diplomacy: Comparative Cases in Diplomatic Practice and Foreign Policy by Stephen Chan

Nickel and Dimed by Barbara Ehrenreich

Reflections on the Posthuman in International Relations: The Anthropocene, Security and Ecology by Clara Eroukhmanoff

In Cold Blood: A True Account of Multiple Murder and Its Consequences by Truman Capote

Haus ohne Hoffnung by Felix & Theo

Effi Briest by Theodor Fontane

Into Thin Air: A Personal Account of the Mount Everest Disaster by Jon Krakauer

Migration and the Ukraine Crisis: A Two-Country Perspective by Agnieszka Pikulicka-Wilczewska and Greta Uehling (eds.)

Writing Systems: An Introduction to Their Linguistic Analysis by Florian Coulmas

Nations under God: The Geopolitics of Faith in the Twenty-First Century by Luke M. Herrington

The Tipping Point: How Little Things Can Make a Big Difference by Malcolm Gladwell

Herr der Diebe by Cornelia Funke

Fast Food Nation: The Dark Side of the All-American Meal by Eric Schlosser

Park Statue Politics: World War II Comfort Women Memorials in the United States by Thomas J. Ward

The Sun Is Also a Star by Nicola Yoon

Restoring Indigenous Self-Determination: Theoretical and Practical Approaches by Marc Woons

Veronikas Geheimnis by Friedhelm Strack

The Sacred and the Sovereign by Özgür Taşkaya

1984 by George Orwell

Sounds of War: Aesthetics, Emotions and Chechnya by Susanna Hast

The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy by Douglas Adams

Feminists Don't Wear Pink (And Other Lies): Amazing Women on What the F-Word Means to Them by Scarlett Curtis

Into the Eleventh Hour: R2P, Syria and Humanitarianism in Crisis by Robert W. Murray

The Restaurant at the End of the Universe by Douglas Adams

Men Explain Things to Me by Rebecca Solnit

Life, the Universe and Everything by Douglas Adams

Women & Power: A Manifesto by Mary Beard

So Long, and Thanks for All the Fish by Douglas Adams

The Sources of Russia's Great Power Politics: Ukraine and the Challenge to the European Order by Taras Kuzio

Mostly Harmless by Douglas Adams

Women, Race & Class by Angela Y. Davis

Feminism without Borders: Decolonizing Theory, Practicing Solidarity by Chandra Talpade Mohanty

I'll Give You the Sun by Jandy Nelson

The “Clash of Civilizations” 25 Years On: A Multidisciplinary Appraisal by Davide Orsi

Making Space for Indigenous Feminism by Joyce Green

It's Kind of a Funny Story by Ned Vizzini

We Were Liars by E. Lockhart

Hood Feminism: Notes from the Women That a Movement Forgot by Mikki Kendall

Simon vs. the Homo Sapiens Agenda by Becky Albertalli

[neuroprincess]

Law & Order: SVU - How you met each other (Preferences)

Classification: Fluff

Pairing: Alex Cabot, Casey Novak, Liz Donnelly, Olivia Benson and Rita Calhoun

Warnings: None

Word count: +800

Alex Cabot

- Anyone who looks at the ice queen so comfortable in New York urbanism can't imagine the ADA's origins. Anyone would picture her as a library rat as a child, wearing a pearl necklace and sitting at the table with tough-talking adults, which is partially right, but no one could imagine Alexandra Marie Cabot wearing denim overalls shooting cans with a slingshot, swimming naked in the lake, and creating a fort in the tree house. Enjoying what Texas provided for a child. You grew up with this version of her, spending summer vacation afternoons together on the Cabot farm, until she returned for good to New York at age fifteen and never came back.

Casey Novak

- You knew her before she knew you, Casey's fame in softball extended to several departments, especially yours, narcotics, where you worked for months. The narcotics team hated her, she single-handedly took down their best players and you admire her for it, was beautiful to watch the redhead play, mesmerizing. At the end of the year SVU and Narcotics qualified for the finals, you used to just watch the games until Vizzini retired and left a gap in the team, filled by you, your co-workers pushed you until they convinced you to try even though had never played before. When the day came, you couldn't stand on the field for 10 minutes, Casey's determined eyes made you more nervous than you already were. The last thing you saw before passing out was the ADA bouncing a ball in your direction. And the first thing you see when wake up is Novak sitting in the armchair next to the hospital bed, a guilty expression on her face.

Liz Donnelly

- Being an ADA is a great responsibility and burden, made even greater by being the half-sister of the brilliant and perfect Alex Cabot, your mother was married three times, she was born from the first marriage and nine years later you were born from a second union. Despite this, the two of you were raised close and she became your inspiration, which led you to study law and follow in your sister's footsteps by becoming an ADA, one of the youngest in SVU. And so you ended up in Liz Donnelly's office, formally introducing yourself after getting the competitive position, with your high grades, extracurricular activities and a recommendation from Alex. "I'm curious to work with Cabot's ward. Welcome, Y/L/N!"

Olivia Benson

- Being a single mother is hard but Evelyn is a sweet and behaved child, making the process easier. You didn't expect that one drunken night would give you a little brown-eyed angel, the beginning was painful and in time you have adjusted well to a quiet life. And it is because you know how hard and difficult it is to be a single mother that you understand the life of Noah, Eve's best friend at school, and often gave the Bensons a little help, even though you didn't know the boy's mother personally. You were surprised the day Noah got into your car with Evelyn after class claiming that his mother had let him come to your house to study for the test, which you found out was a lie when you found an angry brunette at your door accusing you of kidnapping her son. Needless to say, Evelyn and Noah were grounded for weeks.

Rita Calhoun

- Paying for college is hard when you are young and new to a metropolis like New York, but you are determined to fulfill your dreams and get a degree at NYU, so you have gotten a night job as a waitress in a fancy restaurant and at events on the weekend. Sometimes the weekday work can be exhausting because of the hours, but it pays a decent wage and the customers tip well, especially the brunette in the suit who shows up almost every Tuesday, usually alone, and on other occasions accompanied by men in suits, as if they were in a meeting. She always orders the same wine and the chef's dish. Another Tuesday came and you were having a terrible day, it all started with a test that was annulled by a small detail, then you got rained on way from the dorm to restaurant and the icing on the cake is a new manager harassing you from the moment you arrived. Rita realized what was happening as soon as you attended to her and seemed extremely nervous about his lewd glances across the room, minutes after you left the table the man was there, having an apparently serious conversation with the woman. When you returned to pour the usual wine she seemed satisfied, which made you apprehensive thinking you did something wrong. "Is there a problem, Miss Calhoun?" you asked, standing rigidly beside her. "No, Y/N. But the manager will be soon if he keep acting like this." she smiled and winked at you before dismissing the service with a nod. "And you can call me Rita."

[z00r0p4]

The first 15 minutes of The Incredibles is so interesting now that I’m watching it as an adult? Bc as a kid I wasn’t taking in like anything— the actual screenplay went right over my head, as tends to happen when you’re like 7 years old. But it was so fascinating to compare my childhood perception of Bob’s confrontation with his boss w/ my adult perception.

As a kid I’m like “wow his boss is so mean! Yelling at him and then not letting him go and help that person getting beat up!!” and so I have the sense that it’s injustice, and that while Bob’s chosen methods of dealing with it were (and still are) decidedly Not Great, you got the vague sense that bite-size Corporate America Vizzini kinda deserved it.

So then as an adult you’re like “wow Bob was partially also reacting to like several year’s worth of working within an exploitative system which he knows is unjust, and when he is barred from helping someone who clearly needs a Good Samaritan to intervene, that is like. Basically the straw that breaks the camel’s back for him. Like no he obviously shouldn’t have thrown the dude through 5 walls, but if you’re actually listening to the screenplay as the mugging unfolds, u actually despise the guy more than you may have when u were a kid.

Like shit dude, if I were Bob I probably would’ve yeeted Poster-Boy For-Everything-Wrong-With-The-Insurance-System In-America through 5 cubicles too.

[let-me-sleep-or-die]

The ravening war has taught me that Brennan would be a great Vizzini from princess bride.

[awkwardplant]

2023 Reads

This year I've read 24 books - I had only planned to read one book per month, given that I've barely read since leaving highschool. But my old bookworm self is re-emerging! As I write this, I'm on my 25th lol.

I decided at the start of the year that I wanted to try an read a wide variety of genres, which I did. Didn't love everything I read, but such is life. Below are all the titles and my terrible attempts to summarise the plots. The ones with a heart were my favourites and ones I highly reccommend.

My full list in order:

No Destination by Satish Kumar

Autobiography of the life of a pilgrim who left his family at 9 years old to become a Jain monk, then left that to become an activist and walk across continents.

Not the kind of life story you hear everyday, that's for sure.

How to Invent Everything by Ryan North

(Nonfiction) An in depth guide for the stranded time traveller that needs to recreate modern technology from scratch.

Funny, easy to understand, and bitesized sections that can be read when you've got a spare 5 mins.

Moral Compass by Danielle Steel

A girl who experiences sexual assault while at a private school that newly became co-ed, and the resulting court case/investigation into what happened.

Personally I felt this read like a case-study more than a story, and the message was very heavyhanded.

Meddling Kids by Edgar Cantero ❤

A horror comedy about a group of adults that used to be sleuths in their teens reunite to solve a case that everyone thinks has been wrapped up.

This was recommended to me by a librarian that said it was like "if the scooby doo gang all had trauma and fought eldritch beings" which perfectly summed it up. Also, if you shipped Velma and Daphne... you'll enjoy this book 👀 The writer randomly switches to a script-like format at times, some people hate that but I personally like when an author does whatever the fuck, just because he can. Delicious dark humour.

The Rain Heron by Robbie Arnott ❤

About a woman who lives alone in the mountains in a country devastated by a coup, and is sought out by a soldier in order to find the mythical Rain Heron.

Nice prose and descriptions, and the other character's pov chapters have some great suspense.

The Mark and The Void by Paul Murray

An office worker meets a novellist who wants to write about his life.

I was really into the first half of the story, but the second half became boring as the plot stagnated

Resistance by Samit Basu

People have superpowers corresponding to their innermost desires, and we follow the life of a billionaire who is the leader of a mecha group and the lives of their enemies.

I accidentally picked this up at the library, not realizing it was a sequal to Turbulence, but it read okay on it's own. You'd like this if you're into My Hero Academia or other shounen anime.

Notes from the Burning Age by Claire North ❤

Set in the distant future after an apocalypse, an archivist is forced to translate documents from the "burning age" for the Brotherhood

I still think about this story daily. The writing has an interesting style and rhythm and the plot is packed with intriguing developments

The Library at Mount Char by Scott Hawkins ❤

There's a library with the secrets to the universe, and several people, called Pelapi, grew up learning a unique catalogue of skills using its books, taught by Father, who might be God? But he's gone missing lately.

If you like The Umbrella Academy you'd like this. Like Meddling Kids, it's also dark and funny.

The People we Meet on Vacation by Emily Henry

A journalist and her old friend go on holiday in a last attempt to rekindle their friendship.

I found this book on a train, then left it on another. Hopefully it got a new home! The story was sweet, especially the ending where the journalist spent some time on herself.

It's Kind of a Funny story by Ned Vizzini

A teenage boy suffers a mental breakdown and spends a week in a psychiatric ward.

Given to me by a family member, I am now a bit concerned for her. It has a happy ending, at least. There was a transphobic depiction of a character that was mentioned in the blurb, but she doesn't even stay for the whole story.

The Darkness Knows by Arnaldur Indridason

A body is found on a mountain in Iceland, reopening a cold case from 30 years ago, bringing the detective in charge of it out of retirement.

The prose isn't great in this due to a poor translation. The plot/characters are a bit cliche but not too bad overall. The ending was unexpected yet also expected in the best way?

Legends and Lattes by Travis Baldree ❤

Cosy fantasy about an orc who retires from adventuring to open a coffee shop/cafe.

Bought this after seeing it recommended for people that like Stardew Valley. I liked the amount of detail that went into just building the shop. The prose is simple, but I find that fits the main character, Viv, well, and there were some really good lines/messages in the story. I have adopted Thimble.

Leonard and Hungry Paul by Ronan Hession

Two unremarkable irish men consider their lives and place in the universe.

This would've been one of my favourites had it not focused so much on Paul's sister's wedding. The book should've been called Leonard, Hungry Paul, and Grace. I did enjoy the conversations in this book, and the attention to the mundane.

Summer Sons by Lee Mandelo

Southern Gothic queer supernatural story about a college student trying to solve the case of his best friend's death, while being haunted by Revenants.

This took me ages to read because it was so emotionally heavy and the plot moved slowly. Like it had some incredibly good prose and relationship dynamics, but I couldn't force myself to read it again.

Psalm for the Wild Built by Becky Chambers

Solar punk story about a (nonbinary!) person who suddenly switches jobs to become a tea monk, then leaves that to visit a hermitage and meets a robot along the way.

This is a short book because the sequel is the second half of the story. £13-17.99 seems too expensive for half a book. It was recommended as a cosy fantasy but the MC is existentially unhappy with their life for most of it, so the story doesn't quite fit in that category.

A Cosmology of Monsters by Shaun Hamill ❤

Noah, the youngest child of his family, narrates the life of his parents: a bookish mother and a Lovecraft-horror lover father, and the monsters they all encounter

Phenomenal prose, characters, themes, and plot. Lots of psychological trauma and inner demons.

Those People Next Door by Kia Abdullah ❤

A family moves into a suburb and a war begins between them and the neighbours after he knocks down their "black lives matter" banner.

Oh boy, it sure escalates to become way out of hand. It has a mystery element to it which I enjoyed trying to figure out. Lots of tension between plot points. The last line! Agh!!

The Fall by Louise Jensen

A girl falls off a bridge and the family/police try to uncover who pushed her, but instead uncover secrets about the family.

There were some parts that didn't make sense to me, and there was a lot of characters to keep track of. Not a bad book but it just didn't have that extra spark.

Bookshops and Bonedust by Travis Baldree

Prequel to Legends and Lattes (but can be read on its own) where Viv has recently started adventuring but has to recover from an injury before she can return to her group. She helps out at a bookshop and gets caught up with a necromancer.

Preferred the first book as it felt cosier, but the action in this book is fun too.

Days at the Morisaki Bookshop by Satoshi Yagisawa

A woman leaves her office job after a breakup to live above her uncle's bookshop and helps out, but she hates books.

Too short for my liking, and the main character was difficult to connect to and the relationships/conversations seemed shallow. the second half of the story centres on the uncle's wife and while it had a valuable lesson it just wasn't as good to read.

Tomorrow and Tomorrow and Tomorrow by Gabrielle Zevin

Childhood friends meet again in college and design a game together, which changes their lives/careers.

This was not a terrible book, but it did have some strange descriptions, and the author doesn't understand how the game industry works.

The Hike by Lucy Clarke

4 women who have been friends since highschool go to Norway to climb Mount Blajfell, but they are not prepared for the trek

I felt this had some cliches, but a pretty decent suspense novel

And Then There Were None by Agatha Christie

10 people are invited to Soldier Island for various reasons, only to find they all have one thing in common... murder.

I was theorizing like crazy during this, trying to guess whodunnit. I felt like the reveal was a bit disappointing because how on earth was anyone meant to guess that??

Library books: 9

Given to me: 5

Favourites: 7

If you have any recs for me I'd love to know, just message me!

[archanonhiru]

As Dracula season drifts closer I am haunted by the concept of a Princess Bride AU.

Which is to say:

:readmore:

Mina Murray, now two years in mourning after her fiance disappeared on a work trip, is encouraged by her best friend Lucy, now Lady Goldarming to start considering suitors again. Not that she should forget Jonathan, of course, but by all accounts he is lost to her and Lucy's former suitor Dr. Seward is a lovely man and would certainly be very impressed by Mina's capabilities.

They do meet, and Mina thinks she could certainly be friends with Seward, but is not yet sure she's ready to move on.

This is interrupted when Lord Goldarming has a meeting with a foreign nobleman, Count Dracula, that Mina accidentally interrupts. The Count is a strange, savage looking man, who carries a terrible long knife and wears a mask, claiming it is a custom of his land; it is very striking against the bone white of his hair.

...of course, what she doesn't know is that this is, of course, Jonathan; in this scenario, Dracula found Jonathan fascinating enough that he chose to delay his actual moving plans until he was done toying with the man, though he of course still purchased an estate. After several years of surviving by the skin of his teeth, mostly because Dracula thought turning him would ruin the fun, Jonathan managed to scrape together enough information and grit to up and murder Drac with a great khukri knife the night after he managed to take down the vampire ladies. He finds out that at some point Dracula, having spent two years playing the "good night, friend Jonathan. Perhaps I'll kill you in the morning" game, for some reason had amended his will to leave Jonathan his heir.

Now officially Count Dracula, he returns to England, but thinks he's too scarred by the experience to simply speak to Mina. But when he sees her again, he has to find out if she'd waited for him...

Unfortunately I don't have any concrete ideas for, like, the actual conflict. Unless Jonathan is so messed up he decides it's a good idea to hire kidnappers and then go play Man in Black to save her so he can ask from a position of power? Idk. It could work but it's a bit convoluted and I don't have an easy set of characters to play Vizzini's crew. But the idea compels me nonetheless.

[griffinsmith]

jackall and margherita's time in newgate jogs some memories

[bonesandthebees]

ello bones hope youre doing good

just found even more cool songs thanks to you, how do you always have more???

also WE COULDVE HAD YOU DOING ASL??? aw man :( (/lh)

anyway, I just turned in my paper that ive been working on for the last few months (yay, finally, it ate like all of my free time and energy) and suddenly I have too much free time and not much too read or watch (I had saved so many fics I cant manage to read anymore)

any coming of age books (or fics) or movies recommendations? (I need me some honey and tangerines vibes yk? ive been listening to the playlist too much again. one day I think ill read that fic again, but today is not the day)

much love to go you all in the ask box, eli <3

I'm doing pretty good! went to a yoga class tonight and I'm seeing the tommyinnit live show tomorrow so it's shaping up to be a pretty great weekend!

I actually filmed a video to post here on language day and everything but I wanted to redo it so my face wasn't fully in frame but then I just didn't get around to it :( oh well next time

OOO congrats on turning in that paper!! that's a huge accomplishment, I hope you get a great grade on it. and yay for free time!

oh boy ok coming of age recs I can do this. I haven't read any coming of age books since I was a teenager though so keep in my my memory of these are all hazy

books:

the perks of being a wallflower by stephen chbosky - hallmarker of the coming of age genre, read this when I was 16 and cried, even if you've seen the movie I highly recommend the book

aristotle and dante discover the secrets of the universe by benjamin alire saenz - literally was one of my favorite books for so many years. I read it when I was 15 and became obsessed with it. I still look back on it so warmly it's just such a great book

it's kind of a funny story by ned vizzini - also read this one when I was like 16ish. I remembered enjoying it but not as much as the other two I've listed here. still very good though!

movies:

cha cha real smooth (2022) - actually one of my favorite coming of age films I've ever seen. it's a coming of age film about a guy in his early 20s instead of in his teens which is refreshing in its own. it hit particularly hard for me because I saw it when I was 22 and freshly graduated from college unsure what to do, the main character is 22 and freshly graduated from college unsure what to do. it's also a very unique setup and I really loved how they pulled it off

the edge of seventeen (2016) - this might be a controversial pick because the main character is actually pretty insufferable in this, but that's part of why I enjoyed it. the character is meant to be insufferable. she's a teenage girl dealing with the hell of being a teenage girl and she sucks! it's an intentional thing and it does it very well! I would say it still falls flat in some areas, but I'm mainly recommending it because it's so refreshing to have an mc genuinely be a shitty person

sing street (2016) - I count this as a coming of age movie but it's also kind of a music movie? it's incredibly fun no matter what. the songs are so catchy, the characters are all great, and the relationships are just all very well done

the kings of summer (2013) - genuinely why do I never hear anyone talk about this movie. I haven't seen it in so long but I remember it being incredibly funny with a great dose of summertime whimsy

hunt for the wilderpeople (2016) - tbh I never thought of this as a coming of age movie and it might be a bit different than most of the films on here but I was looking up lists of coming of age movies to try and remember which ones I've seen and I saw this one mentioned a few times. if you're a fan of taika waititi films, in my opinion this is his best one hands down. it's hilarious but also incredibly sweet and heartwarming at the same time

moonrise kingdom (2012) - very charming and storybook esque in the way all wes anderson films are, but with a really sweet story between two kids at its core. again, different from most of the ones on this list, but definitely an enjoyable one all the same

hope this list helps!

[justreputationnoexplanation]

Ask game 2023 swiftie edition 🩵 As a longtime football girlie I have to ask 18, but if you’re not into it then 23 💙

I am also a football girlie, but I'll go ahead and answer both anyways lol

18. Favorite football/KC Tay moment

Not directly related to them, but my fave football + Taylor related things were: a. my mom and another friend of mine (neither of which are Taylor fans) both made sure to inform me that Kelce was both a great player and, by all accounts, a genuinely great guy and they were happy for him and Taylor. My mom even let me update her weekly on Taylor's presence at the games and what she wore and all that stuff, including watching the Karma "guy on the chiefs" video with me. so like for both its just that we got to bond over major interests overlapping and I could finally talk about Taylor in connection with something they cared about, instead of just screaming about the surprise songs constantly. a. I'm in a fantasy football league made up entirely of Swifties, and the chaos of figuring out if anyone had him drafted was lots of fun (I was not the one who had him which is extra unfortunate because i really could have used a good tight end) c. at the end of every appt after we've got the next one scheduled, my therapist asks whats going on with them and what I think about it s just like closing conversation. it just amuses me greatly.

23. If you could pick your top two songs for surprise songs what would they be? I would have to go with Dear John (Guitar) & Soon You'll Get Better (Piano). That being said, I feel like SYGB is one of the few that she probably won't perform at any point. My next choice, Would've, Could've, Should've, I don't think she'd play with Dear John, just for her own emotions about it. Plus, it's also a guitar song, not piano. This brings us, finally, to a realistic choice of Innocent on Piano. That was probably a lot more of an answer than you wanted, and I almost feel like Vizzini in The Princess Bride, logicing my way around pairings like poisoned wine lol.

Thanks for the ask!!

[fernisclosed]

“i didn't want to wake up. I was having a much better time asleep. And that's really sad. It was almost like a reverse nightmare, like when you wake up from a nightmare you're so relieved. I woke up into a nightmare.”

-Ned Vizzini

I did it again.

i fucked up plans again.

because that’s what i do.

i fuck things up.

i can’t do things right. i can’t make people happy without making them sad too.

being around me zaps people happiness. i could meet the most wonderful person who is happy constantly, and after about an hour of knowing me, they’ll become sad.

maybe i deserve the things that have happened to me.

maybe i deserve the things that will happen to me.

i get bored of people too fast. i could be obsessed with you one day and then a week later i could want nothing to do with you.

i make myself sick.

if you feel like i’m pulling away from you, i probably am. i say don’t let me pull away, but i’ll resent you if you keep me trapped.

there’s no right or wrong, there’s no gray area. i’ll be sad if you stay but i’ll be sad if you go.

i’m fucked in the head.

i get so excited planning things with friends. i haven’t been able to see them or even write because of my job for almost a month. and yet when i finally get a chance to see one, SURPRISE! i fuck it up.

we had a great plan.

work caused me to miss their birthday, so tomorrow was going to be the makeup day. we were going to finish packing and then go out to eat and go to the mall. and then i didn’t fucking feed my dog.

like the fuckup i am.

and it will happen. again and again and again, to the point where no one will ever want to make plans with me. because i will always fuck it all up.

because that’s who i am.

that’s what i do.

i’m the fuckup.

and i’ll fuck you up too.