Tumgik
#the heart is not meant to rule
harkonnin · 2 months
Text
Tumblr media
* The heart is not meant to rule *
Feyd-Rautha Harkonnen x Atreides!Reader
Slow burn, knife kink, blood kink, strangers to lovers, softer!Feyd-Rautha, CONSENT, 18+, arranged marriage, assassination, poison, murder, etc
Chapter 1 - Introduction Chapter 2 - Beginnings are such delicate times Chapter 3 - Eclipse Chapter 4 - A Time of Quiet Between the Storms Chapter 5 - Harkonnen Arena *****
You feel a bit better after a good night of sleep. Your throat is still somewhat itching, probably a side effect from the poison. You drink some water to alleviate the discomfort and get up to get dressed. You take out a soft blue tight-fitting dress that goes down to your feet. It’s embellished with a sort of net made from rope around your chest, hands and face. You drape a see-through veil over your head and make your way out.
Tumblr media
Your father told you today was going to be a more relaxed day, just experiencing the culture of the Harkonnens. You’re unsure of what that might entail, and you must admit to yourself that your fear of assassination is high. Someone didn’t want you here, it possibly having something to do with Feyd-Rautha. You knew that Giedi Prime was extremely dangerous, but you at least assumed they would let you live for a mere 24 hours before trying anything.
Knowing what you know now, you make your way to your parents’ quarters to meet up with them first, instead of roaming the halls, unsafely. Your father is the first to greet you, happy to see you, but more so happy that you’re willing to go through with whatever happens today. The conversation you had last night weighing heavy on his soul. All of you finally make your way towards the dining hall, a group of servants already waiting for you. There was no food to be seen however, the servants escorted all of you towards another set of hallways.
“You will make your way to the arena first. The Lord Na-Baron has a surprise for you all.”
You looked at Paul, you mouthed the word ‘Arena’, and he shook his head, unknowing what they meant. You had heard vaguely about the gladiator pits before but had no idea what that entailed. After a short while walking you come across a huge door. As the servants open it, the warmth of the outside catches your breath, it’s hot but also slightly dry, chemicals and pollution abundant as you breathe in. You hear a crowd shouting as you make your way outside. The sheer scale of the arena makes you gulp, this wasn’t some small event, this felt like everyone from Giedi Prime was attending.
You get ushered by the servants to sit up front, the black sun harsh and turning everything into black and white. The Baron is sitting comfortably on the other side of the arena, together with a bunch of servants and… not Feyd-Rautha. You wonder where he is, seeing as this was all his idea apparently.
A servant girl sits next to you and whispers into your ear.
“The Lord na-Baron wanted me to give you this, Lady Atreides”.
She hands you a set of binoculars, you nod and say thank you to her, her face perpetually shocked. You wonder if they’ve ever been treated like human beings, it doesn’t seem like it. You shoot up in your seat at the sound of a loud horn, possibly announcing the start of the event. The crowd goes wild. You’ve never experienced something so loud, Caladan was nowhere near as populated as Giedi Prime, and you feel terribly small at the sight of all those people. Insecurity creeps in, the weight of what your father said about duty almost suffocating you. How were these people ever going to accept you?
Paul felt you shift uncomfortably and reached out for your hand. You took his in yours and smiled softly.
“You’ll do great”.
You return the soft smile and let go of his hand, turning back around to watch whatever will happen in front of you. Your stomach turns due to hunger, but also excitement. A dark, strange voice announces the entrance of the gladiator and his opposing enemies.
The huge black doors open to reveal a leather clad Feyd. His dark clothing contrasting his pale white skin. He walks into the arena, determined and confident. His garments swaying in the wind around his waist. He carries two knives, one small and a larger one. He walks towards the Baron and bows. Then he turns towards where your family is seated and makes a spectacle of himself, opening his arms wide and bowing down to one knee. He looks up and makes eye contact with you. No smirk, nothing. It’s the most serious you’ve seen him. Your breath catches in your throat, and you swallow hard, unbeknownst to what is about to happen.
Three other men make their way into the arena, his opponents. They stagger their way over to Feyd, obviously drugged, except for one. A leaner type, much like Feyd, shields the sun from his face as he makes his way over to him, slowly, calculated. The young na-baron manages to attack the two drugged men first, killing them swiftly, your stomach turning at the sight of blood gushing out if their bodies.
You take your binoculars and look at Feyd, barely breaking a sweat. He looked like a rabid dog, his mouth stained black, drool coming out of it. The rumors were true, he was psychotic, an animal, who enjoyed killing more so than anything else. You look at your father, questioning why he would ever force you to marry someone like this. Leto shifts uncomfortably in his seat at your stare, full well knowing what you’re thinking.
You tilt your gaze back to the scene in front of you, as you creep to the edge of your seat. The last opponent tries to strike Feyd, but he manages to dodge him swiftly. This is all very reminiscent of your first meeting with him, although it is obvious he was holding back when he met you. His moves are fast, deadly and calculated with this opponent. He turns off his shield, just for the thrill of it. He turns to face your side of the arena and as he throws his shield pack away, he smiles up at you. The other man tries to strike in this moment of weakness, your eyes widen, and you jump out of your seat to see Feyd turn fast like a snake to block the other man’s attack. You hear him… laugh? Both men are on their backs now, the other man having the upper hand, shoving a knife down mere inches away from Feyd’s face. He laughs at the man’s attempt to kill him and slowly turns his body whilst taking control of the knife. All of a sudden he stops laughing and takes the other man’s head in his hand, he looks at him, seriously, one might say full of respect for the other fighter. He takes the blade off him and stabs him in the chest, holding his body for a second before letting him fall in the white sand.
The sight stirs something in you, you’re reminded of the servant girl, and how she was stabbed in an exact spot. You now realise that you had seen a vision of what Feyd had done in the aftermath of your poisoning. He looks up at you and your family and puts his blade in the air, the crowd goes wild and all you can do is stand up and stare at him. He had barely met you that day, and yet he already showed you what kind of a man he was. Radical, dangerous, but also fiercely loyal and honourable. You slowly sat back down and tried to stop your heart from pounding so hard. You were elated that he won, even if it was at a barbaric display.
*
The show is over, and you get escorted back by the servants into another hall, one where the history of the Harkonnen is displayed. Grand statues of previous Barons grace the wall, and you can’t help but be amazed. You’re in the presence if a major House and it shows, their history reaching far, farther than your own house. Soon you will become a part of this hall, should you accept.
The same servant girl as before catches your eye, she seems to be staring at you. You walk over to her and ask her to explain some more about what you’re seeing. She looks around but you reassure her that it’s ok for her to speak. Considering she’s probably fearing for her life at this point. She looks at you, frowning, as she clears her throat she starts to talk about the previous Barons. You listen intently, the rich history of House Harkonnen being explained in a nutshell.
“The Lord Na-Baron has no statue yet, but we plan on making one soon, after the wedding”.
You look back at her, pondering if you should ask her more about that. About Feyd. You decide that this might be the only time you have power over someone on Giedi Prime who must answer you, so you try to sound calm and collected.
“Can you tell me more about Feyd-Rautha?”
She shifts awkwardly in her spot; you obviously struck a nerve.
“What was he like as a child?”
She looks over at the rest of your family, they seem to be preoccupied with other statues and stories.
You touch her shoulder to assure her that she can speak. You whisper to her. “I won’t tell anyone you told me”.
She looks up at you with big black eyes, afraid. Was Feyd’s childhood that secret? What could’ve been so scary to tell?
“The-the Lord Na-Baron was a difficult child my lady. He… got into a lot of trouble- “
You’re not surprised, seeing as he loved killing for sport. Any child like that would’ve been hard to deal with.
“When his mother… passed away he changed, he had no leash anymore… he kills for pleasure now my lady.”
Something about the way she said it stirred an uneasy feeling inside of you. It’s one thing to think about something but to hear someone say it feels different.
“He was taken from his father by his mother and left for dead, malnourished. The Baron took him in and raised him to be his weapon and successor. It’s only normal how he reacted when his mother showed back up.”
You were trying to put two and two together, Feyd wasn’t a Harkonnen by blood? He was left for dead by his own mother. He took revenge on her. You look at the servant girl’s face as if she could hear all the questions in your head but right as you were about to ask, a door opened, and the man of the hour entered the room.
He looked at you almost immediately, you were holding the servant girl’s shoulder. She ran off and positioned herself against a wall, awaiting orders. You gave her a soft smile before turning back to Feyd.
Having just received a lot of new information, you have no idea what to think of him. A weird form of empathy hit you like a brick wall, never having to imagine what growing up on a hateful planet with a hateful mother must feel like. You start to understand why he is so sadistic, psychotic and unpredictable. He acts more so like a trapped fox than a snake lashing out. You start to see him as a wounded animal with a full set of unresolved past trauma. Not that any of it excuses his behaviour, but it explains it at least.
He walks up to you and stops a few feet away.
“I hope the Lady Atreides enjoyed the display I had prepared for her this morning.”
Its more so a command than a question, and you do your best to show the right amount if respect. You hold his eye contact and smile gracefully.
“It was most exciting, my Lord Na-Baron”.
He eyes you up for a second and offers you his hand, “Come, I wish to discuss something first”.
You look at him questionably but take his offer almost immediately, more so out if fear of what he might do if you don’t act fast enough. He turns to walk away, outside again, and you look at your family in return. Paul assures you in sign language that he has no ill intentions. Feyd picks up on the small interaction between you two.
*
He never lets go of your hand even if you’ve been walking for 10 minutes now. He turns to look at you whilst opening a black door to a balcony overlooking what little of a garden they have at the palace. It was nice, neat but also very private, closed off.
“You look very beautiful today my lady”.
He lets go of your hand and goes to lean with his back against the railing on the balcony. Smooth, you think to yourself. He really knew how to be charming. A blush creeps up on your face but the black sun makes it invisible for anyone to see. Your veil still covering your face.
“You- I was very impressed by you my Lord Na-Baron. –“ you stumble on your words as you continue.
Feyd moves towards you and takes the veil in his hands, flips it over your head and uncovers your face whilst you’re still talking. “Better”, he mutters.
“- I feel like you didn’t hold back today. I almost feel special.”
He’s only a few inches away, his hands making their way back to the railing. He leans back again and tilts his head at you. You move to stand next to him at the railing, inches away from him.
“Special? What makes you say that?” He chuckles, deep and dark. It makes your breath hitch once more. “Our first meeting, you held back”. You face him and give a slight smile.
You straight out accuse him, playfully and he accepts the jab. He moves his left hand towards your shoulder and plays with the rope and round it. The soft touches very different from the story you were told earlier.
“It wouldn’t be very gentlemanly of me to kill someone like you without knowing what kept you up at night now would it-“
He moves his hand to your cheek, the scar still prominent. A mark of his, he brushes it like a medal of honour. You try to control your breathing. He knows what he’s doing and you’re willing to oblige him at this point. You close your eyes for a bit and open them back up to see him staring at your lips.
“Besides, you’ll be my little bird from now on.”
You flinch a little, he notices and stops his movement. He looks back at your eyes, fierce and burning with a defiance at this moment. The Atreides in you seeking meaning to his words. He likes what he sees however, eliciting a smile on his face.
“I will not be caged like some animal.”
He lets go of your face, his mouth slightly open, eyebrows raised. He’s never experienced someone telling him ‘no’ this directly. He respects you for it. If he had to admit it, he’d say that he got all hot and bothered as well.
“And I won’t cage you. Nor will you cage me.”
He speaks up, his face showing no lies. You tilt your head questioning what he means by that.
“I don’t plan on going through with this arrangement, I do not feel like it is necessary yet.”
He says it matter of factly, very dry and it makes you feel a tinge of sadness. You have no good idea why, but it seems like you were already accepting the fact that your future was set. You had already gained a lot of respect and empathy for the man in front of you, so to hear him say that this had been all for nothing, hurt. You slightly lose your cool and collected façade for a second and your eyebrows frown as you look down at your hands. You feel a tear well in your left eye but quickly remove it before he sees.
“I don’t want you to get hurt like before. For both our sakes, it would be safer if we do not. I have no intention of harming you or your family, if you don’t stand in my way.”
He’s logical, calculated. It makes sense. You had been almost assassinated because of the sheer announcement, what would happen if you actually got married. The amount of jealous people on Giedi Prime that could kill you, the other houses, …
“You managed to track down who poisoned me, right? I had a vision whilst I was fighting off the toxins… thank you.”
Feyd looked at you puzzled, ignoring the kind words.
“I thought you were not a Bene Gesserit?”
You look at him, he looks perplexed.
“Don’t get me wrong, I’m not, but my mother taught me a few things here and there. I can’t read or control minds, but I can talk with Paul and my mother. As you can see, I can also fend off poison pretty well.”
He looked at you in awe, he shifted his body to be turned towards you more. He took your right hand in his left and started to play with it. He looked down at your hand covered in the rope and started tugging on it. His movements mimicking a nervous teenager on his first date.
“You amaze me, Lady Atreides. Show me your world before we end our paths together.”
The way he said it seemed so final; it almost made you sad. He picked up on your body language and breathing. Feyd had no sense of personal space however and bridged the gap between you two.
“Make me change my mind” he whispered, his voice deep and gravely.
Mere inches away from your face. You admit he wasn’t that scary up close, not while he was being soft like this with you. A killer in the arena, but seductive outside of it. You were staring into his eyes for a bit too long, and you broke the intense eye contact.
“I will talk to my father about going back to Caladan. I would love for you to join us.”
His eyes linger on your lips, and you feel him releasing your hand. His eyes dart over your face once more, before speaking again.
“Come, Lady Atreides, we shouldn’t keep your family waiting. And maybe while we’re in Caladan you can teach me some of the sign language you speak”.
He really did pick up on the smallest details, like a true predator. The way he said it however made you feel as if he truly wanted to learn, as if he was in awe of the communication you had with your brother and family. If he truly wanted to, you’d be willing to teach him. In exchange for some fighting lessons. Things were looking up, the idea of returning to Caladan made you feel all giddy and nervous. Seeing your friends again and showing Feyd how beautiful your home planet was, you couldn’t wait to get started.
211 notes · View notes
ryllen · 6 months
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media
"I decided it's my break day today, Oh coincidentally, I'm gonna sit here, and watch you work." also it's too cute how Nemo just came run at me whenever i sat on a bench
#my time at sandrock#mtas#mtas unsuur#mtas builder#mtas nemo#fanart#FHSDHdhsds tbh HIS PINNING WAS EXCITING#but after that HE REALLY DOESN'T HAVE ANY OTHER STORIES at ALL to tell during DATE HELP fhasdhdhsd#he is JUST like Sebek I'M CRYINg @sebek stop talking about ur malleus sama guard duty @unsuur stop talking only about the civil corps fshds#i'm dying my heart is faltering from the monotony; but just like the rule of thumb on every fandom; it depends to us to enrich the characte#so now i'm trying to enhance my delusional level & it's working right now when i sat there & watched him work#Maybe I was HASTY because HE WAS the first fish that BIT; andeverygamehasthatcharacterthatissoveryeasytogetbutwithlessdepthinthem#BUT thinking back#HE is REALLY A NICE GUY#WITH A NICE HEART that's just IN THE RIGHT PLACE; and HE IS FUNNY TO BOOT fshdshdj#i actually cried when he talked about what his proudest stack of stones meant to him#because the value in it hits too close to home#and when he said pls tell me if i no longer have a good personality bcs i would like to be the first one to know#AND DON'T GET ME STARTED ON THE FACE ON THE LEMON SOUP FSHDHSSFHSDH#I FELL RIGHT THEN RIGHT THERE#I FELL FOR HIM FOR ALL THE RIGHT REASONS#HE IS TOO CUTE AND SINCERE AND QUIRKY#DID YOU GUYS SEE WHEN HE JUST STRAIGHT WENT TO BED AFTER PAINTING FHSDHSDHSD I CAN'T; I LOST IT RIGHT THERE#everytime he said SET THE MOOD I'M DONE FHSDHSDH i am not sure if i should be glad or not that the music he plays when painting never retur#even when he said he's gonna SET THE MOOD again FHADHS it's way TOO FUNNY I JUST CAN'T
231 notes · View notes
Text
hm ok so for a while i was thinking that Wally, for the most part, only perceives reality as "Home", the neighborhood. that's his entire world, it's all he knows
but then i slapped myself and went wait. the Live Interview. Wally has been outside of Home, and has interacted with humans (presuming that the interview did actually happen, of course). and through Wally's interactions - or rather, attempt at interactions with Us, the QA, and the WHRP, it can be strongly assumed that he knows that there's an Elsewhere. there are places outside of Home. maybe he doesn't quite understand that there's another reality of sorts, but there's no way he's unaware that there's more than just the neighborhood out there
(and then of course there's the fact that Clown has said that humans are deeply involved (not a direct quote, im paraphrasing) in Welcome Home. maybe Wally interacted with them / regularly interacted with them. there could have been an adjustment period after he gained consciousness where humans helped him learn how to walk/talk/fine motor skills - this could be why he has such a seemingly inherent / desperate trust in Us & the WHRP & the QA... humans made him and cared for him. it's possible he could view them as a sort of higher power to trust & have faith in
& maybe he's been off-set or could go off-set. i mean, the houses' rooms were all different sets - the buildings themselves were empty husks, right? who's to say Wally wouldn't physically walk to the individual set pieces whenever he went over to someone's house (but then that leads me into speculation on how the puppets' consciousness works and how multiple copies of them could co-exist and wondering which is the - im getting off track. but there's all of that and then the two part "you're okay!" art pieces of Wally & Eddie, which are technically canon - dont quote me on that - and that's Another ramble/theory post i could go on about & have strong feelings on. Anyway!)
"but wait," i hear someone protest, "what about Barnaby? he was in the Live Interview too"
but was he? was he really? was that Barnaby, or was that a person in a suit playing the character Barnaby B. Beagle? i mean, if it was Barnaby, there had to be some memory fuckery going on that prevented him from either fully comprehending/realizing the situation, or just made him forget as soon as it was over.
and actually wait, Wally has to be aware of the reality discrepancy. because it was certainly him in the Interview as himself. He had to have understood on some level that either that wasn't really Barnaby, or that Barnaby wouldn't remember the interview.
(there's a connection in my head between all of this & how he would view an apple pie. "it isn't the same anymore. something's different". but i can't pin it down for the life of me.)
and with the Talking Telephone calls, Wally explicitly tells Us that he's not going to tell anyone who was behind the calls. i remember listening to the "original" prank call audio tests, which while were very similar to the canon in-website ones, have a few changes. one of which was Wally - in the tests - saying that the others weren't ready to meet Us yet. now in canon that tidbit has been swapped out for "You have to go too. You have work to do" but i think it's still implied through Wally's purposeful withholding-of-information that he doesn't think the others are ready to know. or he straight up doesn't want them to know
i mean, one little theory i previously had is that Wally wants them all to catch on to the nature of their reality and situation, but he doesn't want to - or Can't - tell them outright. they have to figure it out. and that can't was either something keeping him quiet, or because if they learned too soon / inorganically, their little puppet heads would pop into confetti like Red Guy's in dhmis 4
However my views have Changed and i'm pretty sure Wally is purposefully not telling anyone to maintain the illusion that everything is fine and can continue on as it always has. maybe it comes from a place of protectiveness, of love? whatever the motive i think he wants them all to keep being unaware and dare i say, Complacent while he "fixes" their situation.
which is delusional, but we all know Wally is digging his metaphorical claws into a desperate bid to keep everything the same / return it to its original state, leaving bloody scratches in something already rotted. or something like that!
all this to say i think it's interesting how it seems that he's the only one aware of humans / an outside/other world, yet he's so determined to stay in his lane. he wants connection & communication yet he doesn't want to leave or change. he wants help in keeping things the same (some could say in keeping Our reality & his separated) but in the process he's dooming everyone/everything and tearing down those walls himself
(Wally: i'm going to stay where i am, and you're gonna stay where you are, and we're gonna help each other keep me and my friends where we're meant to be. anyway i wonder what this sledgehammer does)
#this is a very disjointed ramble but when are they ever put together!#i have to start at point a to get to point 36 yk yk#trying to write down my thoughts is like trying to keep a firm grip on a lubed up ferret#SOAPED!!! SOAPED UP!!! I MEANT SOAP yk that doesnt make it any better. anyway moving on dont look at me#its. its. the more i think about wally the more i go insane#like he's got neurosis stacked on neurosis stacked on-#there is something soooo wrong with him <3#homebogging#welcome home speculation#wh speculation#i do think his heart is in the right place. i do think he's trying to achieve something he thinks is good & best for everyone#but... despite being aware of more than his friends... technically knowing more Truth than them#he's more trapped by that knowledge. he's ruled by it. and he doesn't really have the -#i dont want to say capacity bc i have to believe that he Can change. he just doesnt know how / currently doesnt want to / is too scared to#but he doesn't have the freedom the others have. bc in their ignorance they can ignore their confines#in a way they're more real than wally despite living in a fabricated world as fabricated people with fabricated lives#they're authentic in their ignorance#and ive said it before and ill say it again - wally was created as a blank slate while everyone else already had a Foundation#no matter how false their memories are they Have them. they have the tools to change and want change#they already perceive themselves as more than what they were made for. they think they're People (not humans - people) dont they?#so if they learn theyre trapped... they'll want out. meanwhile wally is already stuck bc while they have - in a way - More#the neighborhood & the show are all wally has. he knows there's outside but he doesnt have any reason to Want that outside#bc why would he want to leave home? why would he want anything to change? it's his sole purpose isnt it?#idk i just think wally would benefit from being told 'you dont need a purpose / you dont need to adhere to a purpose / you are enough as Yo#doing what You want. you can just Be'#but yk. what was i talking about again#oh yeah - wally is so so aware and yet so in the dark#he's got one half of the puzzle but they're all corner/edge pieces and he's trying to fill the inside space with Nothing#hm. i wonder if he'll end up needing the other neighbors to help finish the puzzle... who's to say who's to say!!#FUCK YOU TUMBLR I HAD MORE TO SAY. CUT OFF AGAIN AGH
112 notes · View notes
eiochevart · 6 months
Text
Yo marvel wtf do you mean Sam and Bucky weren’t about to kiss in that very last scene of tfatws
44 notes · View notes
aleksanderscult · 6 months
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media
This parallel between them 🫠
38 notes · View notes
crabussy · 9 months
Text
everyone in my school loves to scream as louyd as they can on purpose to hurt me just because they can
42 notes · View notes
mettywiththenotes · 11 months
Text
TSUYU DEVELOPMENT CAN WE TALK ABOUT THIS
Tumblr media Tumblr media
41 notes · View notes
designernishiki · 1 year
Text
it really means the world to me that little 12 year old daigo mentions that kiryu used to hang out with him a lot, meaning a teenage kiryu (and likely a teenage nishiki as well) basically babysat an even younger daigo on the reg for some amount of time. i wonder what shenanigans they got up to
23 notes · View notes
goggles-mcgee · 1 year
Text
Look I know a lot of you never followed me for my Winx stuff since I posted very sporadically about it and occasionally but the Winx brainrot is real since my nephew found my old DVDs and then ColourPop came out with its collection and I started re-reading the comics.
But just know that I created ocs back in my day. I planned a huge Rewrite. I took fucking notes while watching the seasons I wanted to include in the goddamn rewrite.
This is a roundabout way of saying I am going to be doing the rewrite and post it on ao3 and I will be posting more about Winx along with everything else XD
So yeah just be prepared!
26 notes · View notes
happi-tree · 1 year
Text
Tumblr media
soooooo i don't have much new to post for wipweds this week so i thought i'd grab a little something from my archives! a ton more people were curious about The Raven and The Dove than i expected, so here's a little excerpt from my amphibia school for good and evil au! in which marcy learns a tiny bit of archery and sasha has some Feelings about it 💗💚
#i was so taken by this scene in the movie that it was literally the first thing i wrote for this au. head in my hands gay people real <3#the sasharcy in this. very self-indulgent very off the charts. the sashanne and marcanne too but that is not the focus here lmao#anyway. hiiiiiii amphibia fandom i am not like. super dead dndads has just had a very sudden and firm grasp on my heart as of late hsbfkahv#also there's a brief glimpse at sasha's backstory here. it really sucks when you're meant to be the paragon of all that is good and pure#and you have the eyes of an entire realm on you at all times. and you keep pushing the envelope of what's proper#i.e. not wearing the frilly dresses all of the time taking up fighting etc. this would already be hard enough if you were a regular student#but you aren't that. everyone is watching you and has Expectations for you and you know what you want but you can't let yourself have it#so you just repress things so hard. cling to whatever you can get away with and try your very best to excel at everything they let you have#and then in come marcy and anne and you've never seen two people less concerned with The Rules. their existence itself flips the script#and you have NO idea what to do about that! other than panic internally ofc <3#anywho. sorry the sasha bias really came through with this one i just think her pov in this would be so inch resting#okok i'm done now i promise#cartoons#amphibia#sasharcy#happi scribbles#happi rambles#also. if ppl like this please do lmk bc while i doubt i'll finish this i do have a few more disjointed bits i could post up for y'all <3#tartd au
14 notes · View notes
sleepless-crows · 1 year
Text
does anyone have any book recommendations? please share
25 notes · View notes
harkonnin · 29 days
Text
Tumblr media
* The heart is not meant to rule *
Feyd-Rautha Harkonnen x Atreides!Reader
Slow burn, knife kink, blood kink, strangers to lovers, softer!Feyd-Rautha, CONSENT, 18+, arranged marriage, assassination, poison, murder, etc
Chapter 1 - Introduction Chapter 2 - Beginnings are such delicate times Chapter 3 - Eclipse Chapter 4 - A Time of Quiet Between the Storms Chapter 5 - Harkonnen Arena Chapter 6 - Water of life Chapter 7 - Each man is a little war Chapter 8 - Spice
***
The lush and deep forests near the castle brings many memories to you. Soon your life might look completely different, should Feyd reconsider marriage. You hope he pulls through, in more ways than one. Walking in the crisp fresh air of the trees makes you realise your feelings might be developing in more than just infatuation. Your heart sank when you saw Feyd collapse last night. It felt heavy to breathe just thinking about what would have happened if he died. But not only that, you felt as if Feyd would be an interesting partner. His personality very different from the men who you had known all your life. He showed a different kind of devotion, almost obsession over you. You admit it made you quiver a little bit every time he stared you down, a biological reaction, you assured yourself.
You think it’s sinful to admit that when he had you cornered in the halls, hand pulling your hair, you also felt your body react to that. It was the first time a man didn’t tiptoe around you, someone who saw you on an equal line, someone who didn’t feel the need to behave otherwise because of your stature. You understand why your mother didn’t think a Bene Gesserit training would be something for you. You lacked the self-control and discipline, just now acknowledging how your body responded to violence like that. You continue walking in the forest, blushing heavily thinking about him. You can’t seem to snap out of the feeling of his breathe on your lips, his face so close, and then feeling the solid form of his body as you dragged him back. He truly is remarkable.
*
Feyd keeps inquiring the staff when you will be back, obsessively so. He doesn’t look desperate, but some of the people in the castle would describe him as a loyal dog waiting for their master to return. He had no patience whatsoever. He felt a lot fitter already, a burning sensation lingering in his muscles, but the medical staff reassured him he would be fine in a few days. He had heard everything that happened last night, how you grunted as you pulled his body all the way back to the castle, how you demanded them to save him, using any way possible, even if it meant breaking the law. You showed a devotion to him he wasn’t used to. Even his servants didn’t seem to care that much and were just acting out of fear. Whilst there was some fear in your voice last night, it wasn’t caused by him, it was a fear of losing him.
He went back to his quarters to get a much-needed bath and to sit in his own thoughts for now. He wasn’t allowed to let himself get so entrapped by her, it showed a certain weakness that Harkonnen didn’t take kindly to. He felt his worries wash off him as he entered the bathroom however, the same enchanting scent he smelled coming from the garden last night, now enveloping him. ‘Caladian rose’ it was called. And he noticed how it smelled like her. He recalled the way he trapped her between the wall and himself the day before, when he got a whiff of her perfume, how his hand smelled like her.
It drove him crazy; his hands went down into the water. He kept seeing your face as he softly stroked his full length. The scent of the bath adding to the feeling, it was like you were taking over his mind, all he could think of was you. He imagined how good you would look if you were in the bath here with him, your soft body writhing next to him, your hands on his chest, his face, his cock. His strokes were getting harder and faster at this point. He wanted nothing more but to taste you, lick your skin and claim your lips, to make you cry out his name, over and over. He came hard at the thought of you sitting on top of him, asking for more. He saw stars and realised you didn’t need to be trained like a Bene Gesserit, for you were already controlling his mind and body without it.
*
You eventually find the herb you were looking for and cut it with the blade Feyd gave you. It’s funny how a weapon made for killing was now being used for essentially gardening. You weren’t going to tell him that the first thing you used it on was a plant however, that’s just disrespectful.
As you make your way back to the castle, it’s already the late afternoon. It seemed like the search took longer than you wanted to, and you were needing a bath of your own. You felt sweaty, musky and assumed mentally drained after the events of last night. It would also help to calm down your muscles a little bit more. Feyd was a heavy man, and you were not used to dragging heavy men around. That was something Duncan hadn’t taught you yet.
You go to your quarters and let a bath run, you add some salts and Caladian rose essential oils. You hadn’t seen any staff members or servants in your walk back, but you also feared for any news coming from Feyd. You sort of assume he was strong enough to fight through the toxins, certainly with your blood going through him. But a small fear lingered. It would be better if you could see him tonight.
*
You eventually got out of the bath, to your own disappointment. A staff member had knocked on your door, telling you dinner would be starting soon. As you got out, you decide on wearing a pale purple dress, with cut-outs on your shoulders. It shaped around your body nicely and was extremely soft. As you moved towards the dining hall, it flowed behind you in the light of the setting sun.
Tumblr media Tumblr media
As you entered the dining hall you stopped in your tracks. Feyd was standing near one of the bigger windows, looking outside towards the ocean. As he heard the door close behind you, he turned around. He was wearing something more casual as well, see through vest with a deep V-neck, showing off his perfectly shaped torso. It was tightened softly on his hip and a soft black pant underneath. His skin glistening in the direct sunlight it received. You made your way towards him, still in disbelief that he’s already up and running. His gaze softened once he saw you, whatever his thoughts were, they fell away.
“My Lady Atreides,” he purred as you got closer to him.
You smiled at him, for the first time it felt genuine as well. His nostrils flared and he clenched his jaw, reminding himself to not listen to his instinct to kiss you right there and then. You reached over to touch him however, grazing his arm softly.
“How- When did you awaken?”, you stumble, softly rubbing your thumb against his arm.
He looked down at your hand and then back at you. You misinterpreted his meaning and let go of him. He countered by grabbing your hand back, softly playing with it. You could feel your heart pounding in your ears, as you got hotter with every soft movement he did.
“I think I have my Lady to thank for that,” he said as he pulled your hand up to his lips and kissed it softly, never taking his eyes off yours.
He seemed like a proper gentleman just now, but you knew something was off. The glint in his eye and the way he smirked after reminding you that he was still Feyd. You didn’t seem to mind however, whatever he might be thinking about. You felt flattered and had to admit you loved it when he swooned over you like this. He was direct with his intentions; you knew where you stood with him.
As you two were standing there, the door opened once more. Your father and mother entered with an indescribable emotion set on their faces. By now, you assume word had spread already. You left out a soft ‘ugh’, and Feyd picked up on it. He let go of your hand and cupped your cheek softly. He brushed over your almost faded scar, as he licked him lips. How seductive, you thought. “Calm down darling, they won’t punish you if we get married,” he spoke.
There it was again, that word that caused all of this in the first place. He knew what he said, as he smiled a bit more venomous than he should have. You were stumbling to realise what he said about marriage, however. He saw your conflicting thoughts on your face and realised the words he spoke. A bit stifled at his lack of self-control, he let go of your cheek and made his way towards the table. He let his emotions slip a little too soon for his liking.
You’re staring out of the window, trying to process what had just transpired. As you turned around and sat down in front of him, you smiled a little bit, the inevitable dreaded conversation with your father could wait for now. You didn’t have the heart to look at Feyd’s face throughout dinner but shot a few glances to his body. He was remarkable, the epitome of a Greek god. You recall standing next to him and smelling Caladian rose on him. He could have taken a bath without any oils, but the fact that he didn’t, sent you into overdrive. This man was slowly taking over your every thought.
*
After dinner, your father proposes a toast in celebration of Feyd’s recovery, since not a lot of men have lived through meeting a white king cobra and living to tell the tale. You assumed Feyd would still be in a lot of pain on the inside, feeling a burning sensation every time he took a breath. You give the herbs to a staff member and ask her to prepare some tea. It’s the least you could do to help him feel more soothed.
As alcohol flows, you indulge in some of it as well. It soothes your inner thoughts and calms you down after the events that transpired. As the staff member returns, you muster up the courage to ask Feyd to follow you. You go out of the dining hall towards one of the balconies nearby. Feyd follows you promptly, wondering what you were going to say. You hand him over the tea, already cooled down a bit, and he takes the cup.
“What is this?” he questions you, smelling the cup and frowning at it. You chuckle at his reaction, “it’s just some tea, I went out to get fresh herbs, it helps with the feeling of dying,” you assume to know how he is feeling with that. He looks up at you, puzzled “I feel great,” he smirks.
You take a few seconds before you realise, he’s joking with you.
“Just drink it, even for you this can’t be enjoyable anymore,” you say as you slightly roll your eyes and turn to lean on the balcony railing.
The setup reminding you of the moment you shared with him back on Giedi Prime.
He listens and drinks it all in one go, it tastes a bit foul to his liking, like drinking grass or something. You laugh at his slight repulsion and let him have your glass of wine.
“Here, wash it away with this,” you say as he takes the glass and brushes your fingers with his softly.
He sips, and you see him return to his normal self. You smile softly at him as he gives you back your glass. You take a big sip out of the glass to wash down your creeping emotions. It makes you a bit numb and tingles within your body, but it’s a welcome treat. Feyd is staring at your face, trying to read your emotions at this point, you had been quiet all night. He decides to speak up.
“Lady Atreides, I have to thank you,” he starts, “not only did you save my life last night, you also went against the laws of your people to do so,” he continues as he takes your free hand, “you show a devotion to a cause much like we Harkonnen do, and for that I think you would be a worthy wife for me”.
You’re flattered, but his words seem to be a bit flat, very formal in a way. You had hoped his emotions to be a little bit stronger by now, but at least he wasn’t against marriage anymore. Even if it was for ulterior motives. He saw the struggle on your face, and wanted to shoot himself in the foot, he realised the words he spoke were extremely impersonal.
Ever the diplomat, you responded properly.
“I did what I had to do, I don’t think it would be labelled as an accident should you have died from poisoning, after my assassination attempt on Giedi Prime.”
You spoke with a little bit more sass when you mentioned that the people of his planet wanted to murder you, the alcohol probably giving you a bit more confidence tonight. He narrowed his eyes at you for a few seconds as you stared him down. Your face obviously not amused at his dryness. You turn away under his scorching look and revert your eyes towards the ocean. The moon casting a soft pale light on top of it. You felt his stare linger on you and wondered why both of you were so bad at communicating with each other.
You didn’t expect him to give you a heartfelt poem or anything, but to see him so devoid of emotions made you a little bit annoyed. You had just committed a crime for him, and all he could utter was “thanks, politically speaking we’d be great together”. What an asshole. That’s when you felt him lean towards you on the balcony, a hand trailing your shoulder softly. He had that dangerous quality about him, where you forgave him almost instantly whenever he touched you. You almost felt deprived every time he didn’t.
He trailed your shoulder and took his fingers further down the length of your arm, as if trying to soothe you. In a weird way it was working, you turn towards him as you see him staring back at you, his expression soft. His hand goes back up and onto your cheek, softly swiping at the scar.
“You look beautiful in the moonlight,” he confesses.
Your heart skips several beats at his intimacy. He looks you up and down and takes a deep breath before returning to your face. He notices your cheeks have a colour to them now, maybe it came from the alcohol, but he wants to believe that his words were the culprit. He comes closer to you, and you let him. You turn your body towards him, feeling completely engulfed in his actions.
“If you’ll have me, will you marry me?” he softly speaks, as his other hand snakes around your waist.
He could probably hear your heartbeat at this point, you felt like you were melting into his touch. He felt so warm against your body, so perfectly moulded. You put your glass of wine down and place your hands on his chest. You can feel his heartbeat, calm and controlled. For every time people warned you of this man, you have seen him in a different light more than often. He didn’t strike fear inside of you anymore, more so desire and a heavy need of wanting to be his.
As you open your mouth to speak, you get interrupted by a staff member telling you your father wants to speak with you. The moment is completely ruined, anxiety striking your face and Feyd notices. He lets you go but takes your hand in his and pulls it towards his face. He kisses it softly, never letting his eyes leave yours.
“I will await your answer, darling.” He lets you go, and you blush even more than before.
As the staff member guides you towards your father, she speaks some words of encouragement, but to be honest, at this point all you can think of is Feyd. He had just confessed his feelings in a strange way, it felt like he wanted to clear up that he also chose you, and not because of some political agreement. Having to listen to your father now felt like torture, for your night would only become worse.
*
As you entered his quarters he was standing at the window, in deep thought. You sighed and wanted to just get this over with.
“Father, you called?”, you snapped him out of his thoughts. He turned around and looked at you fondly.
You were perplexed, you fully expected him to give you a lecture, but his face was saying otherwise.
“My dear daughter, you truly are some mastermind, aren’t you,” he went to hug you. “What makes you say that father?”, you truly did not understand. “You, saving the Na-Baron, forcing him to marry you in the process, brilliant.” He looked at you filled with pride, but you also realised he completely misunderstood your intentions. “Dad, I’m not forcing anyone, I did what felt right at that moment, had I not, then House Harkonnen would be launching an attack on us as we speak. It was never my intention to force Feyd,” you sounded desperate to make him understand that you were not scheming, but you actually thought Feyd was going to be a good partner.
He looked at you puzzled, like he couldn’t understand what you were implying.
“You meant to save him?” he questioned you. “Yes!” you exclaimed. “Why? This man attacked you on your first day of meeting,” he tried to reason with you. “Because I like him!” you almost shouted.
Your confession falling silent in his room, his face contorting into some form of disbelief. He was trying to understand how someone like you would potentially fall in love with someone like Feyd-Rautha. You sighed and looked away from him.
“I didn’t just break the law because I saw a political advantage. A man I like was dying in front of me, I only did what my heart forced me to do.”
You sounded a bit desperate, to be understood and not judged at this point. Your father noticed your shift in body language, he had made you feel uncomfortable. To his regret, he never married your mother, so he understands what it meant to feel the desperate need to get married to someone you loved.
He hugged you and reassured you it’d all be fine. He released you after a while and spoke.
“The law states that only spouses or family members can aid in the giving of blood. Your mother was against it because it’s not a true Bene Gesserit way, but I don’t care. Your happiness is more important than that,” he took your hands in his, “we will keep the secret for as long as we can, once you get married it doesn’t matter anymore,” he kisses you on your forehead.
Your father only wanted to protect you from the world you lived in, but Feyd also had to agree to keep this secret. Which in turn could be a more difficult task than you wanted it to be.
235 notes · View notes
Text
“What are you doing?” he begged again. She looked over at him, between messy strands of golden hair. A hard smile played at her mouth, the kind he’d only ever seen her give to him a very long time ago. When she had trusted him. “Sometimes to find the light,” she said, her words filled with the echo of bitter laughter, “we must first touch the darkness.” He threw his head back. “You reckless, senseless elf. There is no light where I am going. The only thing you’ll find in the Void is pain, and emptiness like you’ve never known.”
==/==/==
"The Lord of the Rings, who had been so many things and had so many names he barely knew what he was anymore, gripped her hand tighter. Whatever he was, he was hers to command, if she would finally accept it.
==/==/==
“I told you. Ours was no chance meeting. Not fate, nor destiny. Ours was the work of something greater. I just did not know what, or why, at the time.” He huffed a laugh. “Leave it to you, Galadriel, to convince yourself that you were always right in the end.” “That’s only because it turned out to be true.” He chuckled and nodded. “I suppose we shall see.” He shut his eyes. The darkness had almost consumed them now. “Do you think it will hurt? To be ensnared in darkness.” She took a deep breath. “No. It is only loneliness. You and I have been lonely many times. And this will not be one of them. It will be like… sinking in the sea.” “I never meant to let you sink. You are light, Galadriel,” he said softly, honestly. “You don’t belong relegated to the Void, forgotten in the depths.” “Then make sure I am not,” was the last thing she said, before the darkness took her mouth, and she was rendered silent for the next eternity. “I will,” he whispered. And the Void took him, as well.
This fanfiction is everything❤️❤️❤️😭😭😭
6 notes · View notes
yatiso · 3 months
Text
oh yeah i have the heart of a poet and always have i keep butchering it in the name of surviving but its what i always return to when im ready to live again
0 notes
suzannahnatters · 1 year
Text
Tumblr media
all RIGHT:
Why You're Writing Medieval (and Medieval-Coded) Women Wrong: A RANT
(Or, For the Love of God, People, Stop Pretending Victorian Style Gender Roles Applied to All of History)
This is a problem I see alllll over the place - I'll be reading a medieval-coded book and the women will be told they aren't allowed to fight or learn or work, that they are only supposed to get married, keep house and have babies, &c &c.
If I point this out ppl will be like "yes but there was misogyny back then! women were treated terribly!" and OK. Stop right there.
By & large, what we as a culture think of as misogyny & patriarchy is the expression prevalent in Victorian times - not medieval. (And NO, this is not me blaming Victorians for their theme park version of "medieval history". This is me blaming 21st century people for being ignorant & refusing to do their homework).
Yes, there was misogyny in medieval times, but 1) in many ways it was actually markedly less severe than Victorian misogyny, tyvm - and 2) it was of a quite different type. (Disclaimer: I am speaking specifically of Frankish, Western European medieval women rather than those in other parts of the world. This applies to a lesser extent in Byzantium and I am still learning about women in the medieval Islamic world.)
So, here are the 2 vital things to remember about women when writing medieval or medieval-coded societies
FIRST. Where in Victorian times the primary axes of prejudice were gender and race - so that a male labourer had more rights than a female of the higher classes, and a middle class white man would be treated with more respect than an African or Indian dignitary - In medieval times, the primary axis of prejudice was, overwhelmingly, class. Thus, Frankish crusader knights arguably felt more solidarity with their Muslim opponents of knightly status, than they did their own peasants. Faith and age were also medieval axes of prejudice - children and young people were exploited ruthlessly, sent into war or marriage at 15 (boys) or 12 (girls). Gender was less important.
What this meant was that a medieval woman could expect - indeed demand - to be treated more or less the same way the men of her class were. Where no ancient legal obstacle existed, such as Salic law, a king's daughter could and did expect to rule, even after marriage.
Women of the knightly class could & did arm & fight - something that required a MASSIVE outlay of money, which was obviously at their discretion & disposal. See: Sichelgaita, Isabel de Conches, the unnamed women fighting in armour as knights during the Third Crusade, as recorded by Muslim chroniclers.
Tolkien's Eowyn is a great example of this medieval attitude to class trumping race: complaining that she's being told not to fight, she stresses her class: "I am of the house of Eorl & not a serving woman". She claims her rights, not as a woman, but as a member of the warrior class and the ruling family. Similarly in Renaissance Venice a doge protested the practice which saw 80% of noble women locked into convents for life: if these had been men they would have been "born to command & govern the world". Their class ought to have exempted them from discrimination on the basis of sex.
So, tip #1 for writing medieval women: remember that their class always outweighed their gender. They might be subordinate to the men within their own class, but not to those below.
SECOND. Whereas Victorians saw women's highest calling as marriage & children - the "angel in the house" ennobling & improving their men on a spiritual but rarely practical level - Medievals by contrast prized virginity/celibacy above marriage, seeing it as a way for women to transcend their sex. Often as nuns, saints, mystics; sometimes as warriors, queens, & ladies; always as businesswomen & merchants, women could & did forge their own paths in life
When Elizabeth I claimed to have "the heart & stomach of a king" & adopted the persona of the virgin queen, this was the norm she appealed to. Women could do things; they just had to prove they were Not Like Other Girls. By Elizabeth's time things were already changing: it was the Reformation that switched the ideal to marriage, & the Enlightenment that divorced femininity from reason, aggression & public life.
For more on this topic, read Katherine Hager's article "Endowed With Manly Courage: Medieval Perceptions of Women in Combat" on women who transcended gender to occupy a liminal space as warrior/virgin/saint.
So, tip #2: remember that for medieval women, wife and mother wasn't the ideal, virgin saint was the ideal. By proving yourself "not like other girls" you could gain significant autonomy & freedom.
Finally a bonus tip: if writing about medieval women, be sure to read writing on women's issues from the time so as to understand the terms in which these women spoke about & defended their ambitions. Start with Christine de Pisan.
I learned all this doing the reading for WATCHERS OF OUTREMER, my series of historical fantasy novels set in the medieval crusader states, which were dominated by strong medieval women! Book 5, THE HOUSE OF MOURNING (forthcoming 2023) will focus, to a greater extent than any other novel I've ever yet read or written, on the experience of women during the crusades - as warriors, captives, and political leaders. I can't wait to share it with you all!
29K notes · View notes
gay-dorito-dust · 19 days
Note
I have been binging your work!
I don't know if this breaks your trauma rule or not, but (with the guys of your choosing as long as Ratio is there) how would the guys react to losing reader (they haven't confessed feelings yet) during a mission and thinking they died. Then, the reader reappears a week later bandaged up, but alive. Maybe spouts their confession first? ˘͈ᵕ˘͈
I adore your writing. Thank you!
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
This is way too fucking long, so be warned. It’s like I rammed 4 mini stories in one but got lost at some point cuz I left this ask to collect dust. Also thanks for enjoying my writing it’s much appreciated. :) 🦦🐿️
Sunday:
The moment he got news that you’ve been assumed dead in the aftermath of a dangerous mission, he looses composure really quickly.
Loosing Robin was one thing but loosing you on top of that was the straw that broke the camels back.
He originally doesn’t believe that you were gone, he refuses to as he practically tears his office to shreds in a fit of anger and grief before forcing himself to regain composure and clean up after his outburst. He needed to in order to keep up the illusion that he was the levelheaded leader The Family needed in these moments of chaos and mistrust.
Even if he himself was breaking down internally alongside everyone else, hellbent on finding the culprit for your death and punishing them so severely that they’d beg for death. He’d avenge you in anyway he could, even if it meant sending out the bloodhound family on a wild goose chase that only ends in dead ends, he would get you justice no matter how it may come.
His heart had died alongside you that day.
So when a week passes and he finally has you back in his arms, all the while being carful with your wounds as his eyes searched you over in a way you weren’t use to.
‘You’re alive.’ He breathes out in relief as he then begins to laugh and rest his head against yours, breathing you in deeply as he relishes in this long awaited moment. ‘Of course you’re alive.’ He mutters.
‘Sunday,’ you began but Sunday was quite to cut you off.
‘Do you know how I felt thinking you were dead? Driving myself insane to prove that you were still alive anyway I could as not to bear the idea of walking through this life without the one person I love so dearly.’ Sunday takes a brief pauses in his monologue, feeling out of breath after having put everything out into the open before continuing. ‘I thought my heart had stopped beating that day and now I have you bad in my arms.’ Sunday then chuckles darkly as he gripped you tighter. ‘I’ll ensure that I’d never have to revisit that part of my life ever again.’
‘Sunday-‘
‘Shhh.’ Sunday cuts you off once more, pressing a kiss to your forehead as he holds you close to his chest, rubbing your back soothingly. ‘Just know that what I do after this, I do out of my love for you.’ He says against your forehead before pressing another kiss there for good measure.
Jing yuan:
Loss wasn’t new to Jing Yuan.
He has experienced it in multiple forms throughout his life, but that didn’t made the news of your death any less painful for the General.
While his mind might’ve made peace with the fact that you were gone, his heart however did not as he would find himself in the places that you often vacated to in moments of stress, or to just be left alone for a while with your thoughts. So to no longer see you in any of those hidden spots -waiting for him to find you like you usually did- only worsened the grief he felt in his heart as he sat himself down and allowed the memories to pass over him in waves.
You were both so happy together and felt a sense of fulfilment that could only be achieved when you were within the other’s presence; A feeling that was uniquely yours and yours alone that could never be replicated, ever. For no one could ever come close to replacing you, nor the companionship you and he had for each other that many assumed would blossom into something more; Jing Yuan also shared the same sentiments as they did, but just as he built the courage to push that boundary between the two of you, you were taken from him before he could utter a single word.
So when a week passes and Jing Yuan found your battered and beaten form in one of your secret spots, back resting against a tree with your eyes closed.
‘Y/n?’ He called out and your eyes opened upon hearing his voice and looking at him with a weak smile. ‘Hey General, miss me?’ You said as you struggled to get up to your feet, only to stumble forward and into Jing Yuan’s chest as his strong yet gentle hands hold you in place.
‘More than you could ever hope to know.’ Jing yuan said as he focused on how you felt beneath his hands, warm and alive.
‘I’m sorry I kept you waiting.’ You muttered against his chest as his warmth made you realised just how tired you were from everything you’ve experienced this last week alone. ‘I never meant to keep you waiting in fear that you’d forget about me if I don’t stay in your life long enough.’ You admit and Jing Yuan instinctively presses a soft kiss to the top of your head, holding you protectively.
‘I could never forget about you my beloved.’ Jing Yuan reassured you as he looked you deep into your eyes. ‘You’ve managed to carve your place within my heart and soul, so much that there isn’t a day where you aren’t all I think about, regardless of whether or not your by my side or far away.’ He finished by pressing a gentle kiss to the gauze on your cheek, chuckling upon seeing your cute attempts of burrowing your face into his chest.
‘How long have you’ve been waiting to say this.’ You asked, thankful that he was the one to admit his feelings first, as you would’ve had a hard time articulating your words as fluidly as he could.
‘For a very long time.’ Jing Yuan replied with a small smile as he then proceeded to lift you into his arms, cuasing you to squeal in surprise, as he made sure to be carful of your wounds and began walking to the nearest medics to make sure your wounds weren’t going to be trouble later on.
Aventurine:
He didn’t know what to think when you were pronounced dead, all Aventurine could feel in that moment was an overwhelming numbness that encased him entirely.
The only light left in his life had been snuffed out, plummeting him into utter and total darkness he had once been well acquainted with until you came along, giving him a reason to keep looking forward despite everything.
You were no longer here to hold onto his left hand before he could even think of hiding it behind his back out of habit, you were no longer here to be his reason, his comfort, his safe place. You were taken away from him unfairly and once again Aventurine found himself asking the same question he has been asking himself for a long time; why everyone was born into this life just to die.
So when a week passes and Aventurine finds himself sat on a bench somewhere, still not dealing well then than he was the week of your assumed passing, lost in his own thoughts when someone took a seat next to him. Aventurine was just about ready to tell them to go away, when he saw just who was sitting next to him; you.
‘I know, I look like shit but you don’t have to look at me like that.’ You spoke upon feeling his eyes gaze upon the gauze on your cheek, then towards the array of bandages that littered the rest of your body.
‘I thought you died.’ He hissed, emotion was heavy in his voice as his eyes became bleary with unshed tears as he felt his breathing become heavy with the reality that you were alive. He didn’t know what was real and what wasn’t in that moment as his mind raced. And it wasn’t until you reached out to grasp his left hand and intertwine your fingers together, squeezing, did everything finally became clear to him.
‘I thought I was too at one point but there was something that kept me from journeying over to the afterlife.’ You admit, looking over at him and smiling sweetly, wanting nothing then to calm his thoughts and reassure him that this wasn’t a dream.
‘And what was that?’ He laughs humourlessly as he stares back at you, wanting to hear what excuses you could come up with for faking being dead for a week. ‘Willpower? Determination?’
‘You Kakavasha.’ You replied straightforwardly and his breath hitched in his throat. You rarely used his actual name unless it was absolutely serious. ‘You were all I thought about as I pushed through my injuries.’ You told him as you continued. ‘Kakavasha is waiting for me was just about all I could think about for a week straight.’ You finished as though you didn’t just confess that he was your soul motivator in staying alive.
‘Really?’ Aventurine said softly, finding it impossible that he could possibly be your reason for anything. ‘Why?’
‘Yes really.’ You chuckled, pressing a kiss to his cheek as you rested your head against his shoulder. ‘As for why, it’s because I like you more then did let myself admit, but i just wanted you to know incase anything truly bad were to ever happen to me-‘
‘No.’ Aventurine cut you off suddenly, squeezing your hand as though he were afraid. ‘Nothing is going to happen to you, not now. not ever. I just got you back.’ He adds resting his head against your own in a desperate attempt of feeling more of your against him. ‘Just stay with me…please.’ He begs you in a whisper as he nuzzled further into you. ‘and don’t go anywhere I can’t follow. I don’t think I can bear the thought of loosing you again.’
You smiled softly as you just whispered back against the skin of his neck. ‘As long as you don’t go anywhere I can’t follow. I like my crush to be alive and close by even if he can be a pain in my ass sometimes.’
Aventurine chuckles, his heart becoming whole again as he made you cuddle into his side, kissing your head once more as you took this moment to familiarise yourselves with each other. ‘At least I’m a pleasurable pain in the ass.’ He teased and you pinch his side, causing him to flinch, but his smile remained and this time his smile was genuine.
His light has came home.
Ratio:
Fully believed that he’d see you when the mission ended, knowing just how talented and dedicated to the craft you were, and having faith that this would be a measly walk in a park for you.
Only to receive word that you were one of the many who were assumed dead when you weren’t found amongst the living nor the dead.
Veritas tries to remain as levelheaded and logical as possible during this time and continue life as normal. However found himself retracting from everyone else and going none contact, more so specifically with the people you were once associated with, and instead focused heavily on his studies and academics to an unhealthy extent.
A week passes and Veritas feels as though he’s seen a ghost the moment he saw you in his peripheral vision, bandaged and dressed in ripped clothing but still somehow finding it in you to smile.
‘You idiotic Buffon!’ He exclaims as he walks towards you.
‘Well that’s a nice way to greet someone you care about.’ You replied as you readied yourself for a massive rant about how stupid you were and so on, but instead you were held against his chest as he burrows his head into your neck.
‘I thought you died.’ He says in a whisper as he breathed you in. This went against all logic but in that rare moment Veritas didn’t care, you were alive but he still couldn’t let go of the fact that you didn’t tell anyone you were still alive. ‘Why didn’t you tell anyone that you were alive, send a signal, anything.’
You shrugged as you made yourself comfortable in his strong arms. ‘All communications were badly damaged or completely cut off.’ You told him. ‘I was on my own for a long while before finding my way back to you.’
‘Me?’ Veritas asked, pulling away from you. ‘Why not a medial facility for a proper treatment of your wounds? Have you hit your head so hard that common sense had been left on the back burner when making that decision?’
‘I wanted to see you first you dickhead!’ You exclaimed, shutting Veritas up rather quickly with your confession but you didn’t care. ‘is it so wrong of me to let the man I love know that I’m okay? So go ahead and call me an idiot all you like but that won’t change the fact that I felt more fear about not telling you how I truly feel then dying on some stupid mission.’ You finished your rant.
‘You’re insufferable.’ Veritas said after a moment of silence and you couldn’t help but feel a little annoyed at this that you didn’t notice that Veritas has began to close in the distance between the two of you.
You scoffed. ‘Oh sure call me insufferable as if you-‘ Veritas cuts you off by cupping your cheeks and planting a sweet short lived kiss against your lips before pulling away with a smirk.
‘Glad to know that the feelings are reciprocated.’ He says, taking enjoyment of rendering you speechless as he gently guided you to medical, and remaining by your side for the remainder of the day.
2K notes · View notes