#the hippo responds

[acearohippo]

what's your tang xuan build? i cant get past the c. rate = 100% and c. dmg >= 280%

pls help 😭

Remember, at max level and ascension, Tang Xuan already has 150% cdmg and 10% crate before any relic bonuses, so you just need 130% more cdmg and 90% more crate. Maxing out a level 60 cdmg ring relic gives you +85% and a complete thunder set gives you +50% cdmg so there's your extra 130% (135% total) to get you to that 280%.

Then just choose substats that have high crate. Fiery set gives you +20% so, to get the last 70%, choose relics with at least 10-15% crate substats on ALL 6 relics. Ideally, two relics with 15% crate at least, so the last 40% can be fulfilled with four 10% crate relics.

If you don't have level 60 equipment, then you might have to focus more on getting 4 relics with 15%+ crate substats so the other two can have 10%+ cdmg substats to help you break that barrier.

Additionally, remember you can have both cdmg and crate substats so getting 10% substats of each on a single relic can give you more leeway in fulfilling the requirements, but aim for higher crate substats.

But yeah, I personally just borrowed relics from other espers that already had the high stats so I could get the achievement and then I switched back.

So my build currently doesn't match that requirement anymore.

Below the cut is my current Tang Xuan build

Because Astral + Avatara + Pursuit(res 2)!Tang Xuan is a BEAST that keeps on hitting. No lie, I've defeated entire teams because he kept triggering pursuit and astral back to back or his counter triggered pursuit.

Once you get res 2 on Tang Xuan, astral and tyranny + avatara are, like, the only acceptable relics to use on him, like dang.

[scarlett-vixen]

okay *munches and crunches you*

*gasp* how the turns have tabled!! You were the biter all along!!!

[sassykio4fun]

Just us two

tom kaulitz x reader

The dread headed boy's eyes scanned across the large room, looking for one particular person. Coming across groups of people, couples, but no you. He nodded mindlessly to whatever the few girls in front of him were spouting out.

Seeing a familiar head of hair, he quickly turned his towards the girls. “Uh, it was really great speaking to you ladies, but I should be getting to my brother, before he gets out of control with the alcohol.” He winked, rushing towards your direction before the girls could respond to him.

You leaned temple against the cool brick wall, soothing your aching head. An amused smile on your face as you listened in on some drunk guy explaining how dinosaurs still exist- rhinos and hippos was his supporting answer.

The tips of your fingers came up to your temples, hearing your own heartbeat in your ears. Suddenly, you felt a large hand land on your waist. You tore your fingers from your temples, whipping around, “Woah! Exc-” You cut yourself off as you peered up at familiar dark eyes.

“Jeez Tom! You scared me.” You breathed out, placing your clammy palm where your heart would be. “Sorry, I got caught in conversations non-stop while looking for you.” he replied, pulling you into his firm side. 

“Until I finally saw you, all cramped up in a corner, yards away from the front door, I went through many obstacles for you.” He teased, tugging the ends of your hair playfully.

Throwing your arms around his waist lazily , you leaned up, your noses brushing against each other. “Why thank you kind sir, your service is very much appreciated.” You reciprocate, beamining up at him. 

His eyes took in your clammy skin. “What were you doing over here alone anyway?” He questioned, arm moving around your shoulder, fingers pinching your chin, tilting your chin towards him.

“The party was getting a little too packed for me while waiting for you, and I guess I just gravitated this way.” You answered, leaning into his palm. “But now that you’re here, why don’t we go have some fun, our friends are still out in the crowd?” You implored, looking towards the crowd.

He only shook his head, “I think I’ve had enough of people for tonight. Let’s do something, with just us.”

You shot him a questioning look. “Like what, nearly everything is closed, it’s close to midnight.” You wondered, peering up at him, wide eyed.

His tongue ran over his piercing a few times in thought. “What about a night swim?” He suggested, grinning, looking very proud of himself for coming up with that idea.

“This late, Tom, are you insane?” You began, looking at him as if he’s joking, “Do you know how cold it is out there, how late it is!?” 

“That’s why it’s called a night swim.” He stated the obvious. You only raised an eyebrow at him, unsure. 

“Please, sweetheart! It’ll be fun, I promise.” He pleaded, grabbing your hand, peppering little kisses in the palm of your hand. 

“Alright, but not for too long, I don’t want to catch hypothermia.” You surrendered, smiling at the ticklish feeling.

He fist pumped that air, “Yayuh!  Let’s go now before you change your mind!” He yelled out, throwing an arm around your waist, dragging you with him out the door.

Hello! I hope you enjoyed this.🎀

[steddieas-shegoes]

Hello my love! Another one for you. I’m thinking this one is gonna be funnier, either high (on meds?) or sleep-talking, maybe?

“Eds. The purple elephants are back.”

“Okay, Stevie.”

“Eds. They have tutus.”

Oh my god my star ✨😂 (also thank you so much for your kind words on the reblog I am genuinely not even sure what to say I love you ❤️❤️❤️ also yes turnaround was very much the right word 😊)

Steve always fell asleep when they smoked together, usually before the weed really even hit him.

But Eddie was usually wide awake for hours, slowly working his way through an album or two and eating a bag of chips.

Steve moved in his sleep, his arm coming out to rest on Eddie’s stomach.

He smiled down at the hand, but otherwise ignored the movement. Steve was out like a light, and Eddie probably would be too when he finished snacking.

“Eds. The purple elephants are back.”

Eddie’s head snapped to Steve.

Still asleep.

Oh, he was gonna have fun with this.

“Okay, Stevie.”

“Eds. They have tutus.”

“Of course they do. For their ballet show.”

Eddie was doing his best to keep a straight face.

“They aren’t wearing slippers.”

“Oh?”

“Boots.”

“Are they dancing, sweetheart?”

Steve didn’t respond for a minute, brows furrowing in his sleep.

“They might be hippos.”

Eddie lost it.

He sat up, hysterical laughter making him nearly choke on the chip he’d been chewing on.

Steve still didn’t wake up, though his hand curled into a fist against Eddie’s stomach and he turned his whole body towards him in bed.

“We should dance.”

Eddie slowly calmed down and watched and Steve’s face settled back to completely relaxed, his hand flatting back out.

“We will, love. Every day if you want.”

[mask-of-prime]

TLG: Best of Friends

This drawing came from a scene I thought I saw in a Land Before Time movie/episode. I went to look for the scene I swear I saw, but to no avail for the longest time. Until just this December, I saw a post on Reddit about someone's headcanon that the Guard didn't stay at the Tree of Life with Kion, someone responded with a link to this clip. Lo and behold, the scene exists, let alone the commenter and I just thinking very alike. A godsend really. But anyway since Kion's Guard has always given me TLBT vibes (no doubt Ford Riley and other producers of the show brought some elements over to TLG), I got this idea of Kion and his friends going their separate ways for the 7th anniversary of TLG's first episode. I thought it would be a good aftermath of the events after Season 3 and something for their adult counterparts to do. I felt that a bittersweet departure would add more depth to this happy-go-lucky team of kids. The later seasons of TLG really almost went this deep. Had there been a Season 4, I could totally see something like this happening. As for the separate ways they're going, Bunga ventures with Binga to seek all the thrills that await them across the continent, Fuli and Azaad race wherever their paws take them, Beshte assumes his father's position as creator of the hippo lanes at Pride Rock, and continues to make many friends along the way, Ono becomes the Tree of Life's ambassador to the Pridelands, and Anga is preparing to become Kiara's majordomo once the lioness becomes queen.

I was contemplating drawing Makini, but ultimately decided against it out of not only exhaustion and not immediately having an aged-up design for her on-hand, but because she's not leaving the Tree of Life. Though... she would owe a hug to those who are leaving the Tree of Life since she made good friends with everyone, so I suppose it would've made sense 🤷‍♀️

Happy belated 7 Years to The Lion Guard!

(EDIT: Now with Kion’s regal marking!)

[tizniz]

20 Questions for Fic Writers

Tagged by @devirnis 🩵

How many works do you have on ao3?

42. (Will be 43 tomorrow!)

What's your total ao3 word count?

172,166

What fandoms do you write for?

Currently 9-1-1, previously Harry Potter, Merlin, Percy Jackson, YouTubers, others

Top five fics by kudos:

Buck's Boyfriends

Threes Not A Crowd

Flare Up

Eddie's Housewife

a place where i feel at home

Do you respond to comments?

Every single one.

What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Come ask me after tomorrow's story.

What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Uh....most recently, I'd say Buck's Surprise that I wrote for Hippo.

Do you get hate on fics?

I have received one comment that was sort of 'mean' (but lead to me meeting Sunny 🥰) and then I got one mean comment that I deleted.

Do you write smut?

Hahahahahahaha. Yes.

Craziest crossover:

I do not personally write crossovers.

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Yup. Back when I posted on WattPad when I wrote imagines for YouTubers.

Have you ever had a fic translated?

Not to my knowledge.

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Yes. Me and my ex wrote a LOT together. And then more recently I was writing with someone (unfortunately, due to reasons, that has since stopped).

All time favourite ship?

Merthur will always hold a special place in my heart. But Buddie has revived my writing inspiration in ways I haven't seen in so long. And then special shoutout to my OC and some of her pairings.

What's a wip you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Honestly? Probably my soul mark fic....

What are your writing strengths?

Fuck if I know. I'm hard on myself and barely think my stuff is good most days haha

What are your writing weaknesses?

Al, Hippo, and Ellie will yell at me if I say everything. So...uhm...sometimes I feel my writing is too simple?

Thoughts on dialogue in another language?

I am very careful to use as little as possible, because I struggle with English some days, and that's my native language.

First fandom you wrote in?

McFly. Back when I was on Fanfiction.Net....wow.

Favourite fic you've written?

Of my published ones? Fight or Flight or saving you, saves me.  Of my WIPs? Recovery. Of my secret fics? Either the entire universe that is Time Travel II or my Peter Pan modern verse stories. Neither of which are 9-1-1 fandom.

NP tagging: @hippolotamus, @actualalligator, @actuallyitsellie, @perfectlysunny02, @theotherbuckley, @spotsandsocks, @bidisasterevankinard, @elvensorceress, @daffi-990, @dangerpronebuddie, @underwaterninja13, @watchyourbuck, @cal-daisies-and-briars and literally anyone else who wants to do this because I’m tired and tagging is hard 🩵

[defectivevillain]

schoolyard shenanigans

pairing: donnie x reader

reader’s pronouns: unspecified but masc-intended

summary: April and you have tackled far worse things than a school dance. Surely, things can’t go that badly... right? Unfortunately, the universe seems intent on proving you wrong. 

“We’ve fought monsters, destroyed robots...” You trail off, after noticing the worried expression on April’s face. The two of you stop just before the doors of the school and stare up at the building. A large Homecoming banner is draped over the front. You’re slightly nervous, but you’re sure the feeling is nowhere near April’s stress. She’s been dreading this dance for weeks, from what you can remember. 

“School dances are way worse than all of those things,” April responds, crossing her arms over her chest. You put a hand on her shoulder in sympathy. She takes a deep breath and clenches her fists at her sides, before turning to look at you. “Let’s go. We’ve got this!”

“You know, this whole thing feels a bit fishy,” you remark as you walk. April seems to be too distracted to notice the statement, however, as she stares at the parade float and other decorations with wonder. You’re about to bump into her shoulder and repeat yourself when you see Dale walk over to you both.

“Hey guys,” Dale says, greeting the both of you. He’s wearing a purple dress shirt and slacks. He looks a bit flustered and discombobulated. You can’t help but compare his outward stress to April’s—she seems to know how to hide it better. “Say, have you seen Taylor anywhere around here?”

“Taylor?” April asks, her eyes lighting up. “No, we’re looking for her also. She invited us to sit with her!” April’s enthusiasm is nearly contagious, and you have to resist the urge to match her smile. Truly, you don’t give two shits about Taylor, but you know that April wants to get to know her in order to fit in better. 

“Hey, she invited me too!” Dale chips excitedly. April freezes and glances at you. You grimace. Indeed, this whole Taylor situation feels incredibly strange. Something must be going on here. April sighs deeply and motions for you to follow her into the building. Together, the three of you enter the gymnasium. To your surprise, there isn’t a single person making eye contact. They’re all looking down at their phones with hypnotized gazes. 

Dale is quick to join in on the madness, as he downloads Hippo Crush—the game Taylor is raving about—and sits down at the table. You and April exchange worried glances before turning down to look at your phone. To your surprise, when you go to look at the application, a miniature Donnie avatar appears on your screen and tells you off. You look at April and grimace. 

“There’s definitely something wrong here, April,” you say, pulling her to her feet after you. The two of you enter the hallway, only to find a weirdly organized formation of students walking in a line with their eyes glued to their phones. You take a deep breath and decide to follow after them. April is quick to join you. The two of you join the line of people and walk into the auditorium. Moments later, the entire group is seated. Thankfully, April and you sit next to each other. Trepidation coils in your chest as you look at the empty stage. Almost as if on command, a confident voice breaks through the tense silence. 

“Everyone, put your hands together for... Hypno-Potamus!” To your horror, a mutant hippopotamus stands on stage. He glances about the audience with greedy eyes, as if soaking in the attention that everyone is giving him. It takes everything you have not to gasp out loud as he continues speaking. April seems to be in a similar state of shock, as her jaw is nearly wide open. 

Hypno-Potamus summons a mascot of sorts and prattles on about a disappearing act. April and you are quick to jump up from your seats and bolt to the nearest exit. Unfortunately, the hippopotamus seems to notice your departure and spotlights focus on the two of you with bright intensity.

“Oh, what’s this?” The magician remarks, staring at the two of you. April tries to pretend to be under mind control, but she breaks character within a few seconds with a disgruntled mumble about it being whack. You huff out a laugh and grab at the door, quickly running out into the hallway. “Get them!” Hypno-Potamus’s voice can be heard echoing throughout the auditorium. 

What follows is the weirdest ten minutes of your entire life. April and you race through the halls, running from a hypnotized mob of students. You duck and hide in a classroom, some lockers, anywhere that you can hide. Unfortunately, your classmates are rather adept at following after you and, after a few minutes of chasing, the two of you are cornered. The group’s pink eyes burn into your skin, as they hold up their phones and try to enchant you into getting the game. Thankfully, Mayhem—the strange creature that seems to have taken a liking to April—appears before long and you are whisked away to safety. 

As if things aren’t weird enough, Leo and Donnie burst through the wall on the parade float from earlier. They grab the two of you and together, you escape from the crowd of enchanted teenagers. April and you leave Leo and Donnie to fight Hypno while the two of you collect all of the magician’s top hats. Mayhem comes to save the day and teleports Hypno away from the school. April drives the golf cart around the grounds in a pseudo victory lap. Leo and Donnie join the two of you moments later, wicked smiles on their faces. 

“So, April, I was wondering if you had a date for the next dance...” Dale breaks off. April doesn’t even let him finish that sentence. You let out a strangled laugh disguised as a cough. Leo looks throughly amused at the lovestruck expression on the boy’s face. Donnie has his arms crossed over his chest and his eyebrows are raised. 

“Not now, Dale,” April sighs. This time, you can’t quite hide a smile. Somehow, Dale doesn’t look too put out by her refusal. Instead, he turns to look at you of all people. There’s something in his gaze that makes your stomach turn. He takes a step forward, which you quickly match with a step backwards.

“How about you-?” Dale tries to say, only to be interrupted once more. This time, April isn’t the one to interrupt him. Instead, it’s Donnie that places a firm hand on his head. 

“Absolutely not,” Donnie says, firmly turning him around with the grip he has on his head. Dale obediently follows and swivels around to walk away. You watch him walk away, unable to shake the feeling of relief coursing through you. 

“Thanks for that,” you grin at Donnie. There’s a momentary flicker of irritation and annoyance on Donnie’s face as he stares at Dale’s retreating figure, but it quickly fades when he returns your gaze. 

“No problem,” Donnie responds quickly, suddenly averting his gaze. You hear Leo snort out a laugh at April’s side. You’re not quite sure what his amusement is all about. Donnie seems significantly stressed. “You... look nice, by the way.”

“Thanks,” you respond, looking down at your clothes. You’re wearing a dress shirt and slacks—similar to Dale—but, thankfully, it’s a comfortable outfit. You decided to take inspiration from April and wear sneakers to complete the look. April was thrilled about that, you recall with a smile.

“Say, um,” Donnie stammers, breaking you out of your thoughts. He seems uncharacteristically nervous about something. You raise an eyebrow at him and he takes a deep breath. “The next dance, if you wanted, I could go with you.” You look at him in surprise. 

“Just, you know, to protect you. Well, no, not that you need protecting. It’s just...” Donnie shakes his head in evident disbelief. For a long moment, you watch as he buries his face in his hands and mumbles about something. The tense silence drags on for a seemingly infinite amount of time. Eventually, clarity passes over Donnie’s face and he sighs. “Never mind.” 

“What?” You ask, but Donnie seems thoroughly embarrassed. He doesn’t explain anything, instead deigning to bury his head in his hands once more. You turn to look at Leo and April for help, only to find them wearing twin expressions of mischief on their faces. Thankfully, the awkward tension doesn’t last too long, as Leo proclaims that the four of you should go for pizza. Together, all of you walk away from the school. The two brothers walk a bit ahead, and you watch with confusion as Leo thumps Donnie on the shoulder in what must be a reassuring gesture. Donnie simply groans. You glance at April for some answers, but she just sends you a knowing smile. 

[forever-rogue]

Hello! ✨ I just wanted to say that I love your writing and the way you write for both Steven and Marc is truly special, it’s truly amazing! You get their tone and even their mannerisms so well💓

Not sure if you’re still taking requests but if you feel like writing for Steven maybe something about terms of endearments would be very cute 🥺 I feel like he’d use many endearments with his SO but when his SO calls him love or baby or any endearment tbh he’d turn bashful cause he’s not used to it.

AN | I just love he!! Enjoy🥰 🥺

Pairing | Steven Grant x Fem!Reader

Warnings | none

Word Count | 1k

Masterlist | Main, Moon Knight

── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ──

"Hello, my honey, baby, sugar sweetheart," you were practically singing as you bounded up to Steven. He was working but had complained that it was so slow so you'd taken advantage of going to surprise him for a visit, "my love."

You stopped directly in front of him, watching as a pink blush crept into his cheeks. Before he could say anything else, you leaned in and gave him a quick kiss. Steven made a small sound of shock, suddenly more shy than he normally was. Needless to say, he hadn't been expecting you.

"What are you doing here, love?" he asked softly, peeking around to make sure no one was paying attention before leaning in and kissing your cheek, “I thought I’d told you when I was off?”

“You did,” you nodded before taking advantage of the shop’s relative quiet and hopping onto the counter, “but you also said it was slow earlier. And I missed you…so I came.”

“You missed me?” his expression softened as though he couldn’t quite believe what you were saying. You missed him? He had always felt like such…a nobody, always blending in and managing to remain invisible. But you’d never once treated him that way - you always made him feel so seen, so visible. You cocked your head to the side before offering him a small smile, “you saw me…last night.”

“And what about it, mi amor?” you reached for the small stuffed hippo that was currently on display and gently held it. While you weren’t as well versed in Egyptian lore and mythology, you knew Steven would be able to tell you everything about the plush, “I can miss you even if I’ve just seen you. I miss you as soon as you’re gone to be honest.”

“Why?!”

“What on earth do you mean why? Because I love you, you sweet, silly fool,” there was something so wonderful about how bashful and shy he became when you complimented him. The air of innocence that seemed to follow him was a refreshing thing in a cruel, harsh world. You remembered the first time you’d spoken those three little words to him. I. Love. You. So simple, but when given so freely without consequence, without obligation or duty, they were the most saccharine words in the universe. He had been so taken aback, so surprised that he didn’t even know how to respond; but that was okay, you knew it would come at his own time and pace, “do you not miss me when I’m gone?”

“‘course I do, darling,” he gently patted the head of the plush, which you now knew was supposed to represent Taweret from the little tag on its ear, “I love you too.”

“Do you know about her?” you asked as you held up the hippo that you’d already decided was going to come home with you. Steven bit his lip, wondering if he should tell you all that he knew or if he should contain his enthusiasm as people often insisted he did. You put a finger under his chin and turned his face up towards yours, “hey. Don’t get shy on me now, mon amour. I want to hear all about her - everything you know.”

“Are you sure?” this time he didn’t even fight back the small that spread across his features, “there’s quite a bit of history behind this little hippo. Could take some time, you know.”

“I don’t see a problem with that,” you grinned at him, “I’ve got all the time in the world for you, cariño.” 

“I like it you know,” he admitted sheepishly as he hopped onto the counter next to you. You turned so your frame was angled towards his as you gently brushed some unruly curls out of his face. You raised an eyebrow at him before gently stroking his cheek, “when you…”

His face turned a darker shade of pink and you realized exactly what he meant. You leaned in and quickly pecked his lips, “and then I shall call you every sweet name I can think of because you deserve it, Steven Grant.”

“No one’s ever…called me anything like you do,” his confession was small and broke your heart in a way. He’d always been nothing but kind to people, nothing but friendly and nice. How no one had taken a chance on him earlier was a wonder to you.

“That’s because they’ve all been fools,” you insisted, “and the only way in which I am a fool is for you, Steven. Light of my love, my sweet sunshine.”

“I…” he closed his eyes for a moment before smiling and staring down at his feet. How did one person manage to make him feel so many different things all at once? It was love he supposed; while it had seemed like a sweet, far thing at one point in his life, now that it was right in front of him, he never wanted anything different, “do you want to go to dinner later?”

You laughed, a sound you insisted you hated but a sound that was like music to his ears, “are you asking me on a date?”

“I suppose I am,” his heart practically burst when you rested your head on his shoulder, “have to keep the romance alive somehow, yeah?”

“You always do,” you promised, “and yes, I’d love to go out on a date to dinner with you.”

“Great,” he breathed out nervously like he thought for some reason you’d say no. You would never, “now, where were we?”

“You were going to tell me everything you know about Taweret.”

“Right,” he said excitedly as you listened with rapt attention, “so back in Egypt during the early dynastic period…”

[nerdieforpedro]

Weddings 101 with Dieter

Chapter Four: You're worth the hassle and the dresses

Dieter Bravo x Maya (plus size OFC)

Fanfiction 18+ MDNI

Masterlist / Dieter Bravo Masterlist / Weddings 101 with Dieter Series

Word Count: approx. 4.8k

Summary: Oscar plots. Dieter continues a conversation with Maya's Mom. The bridal party comes to an agreement. Maya and Dieter finally spend some more time together and FEELINGS. Dinner is going well until it doesn't.

Warnings: brief mention of an injury, weird family dynamics, fluff, Dieter being a horrible wedding guest in the past, more fluff

Notes: This series is quite tame compared to what I normally write. I'm enjoying it! Dieter and Maya are so cute. Her family is indeed crazy and Mom is...well she's mom. I did put in the top poll answer of why Dieter isn't invited to weddings. I'm not sure how many chapters we're going to have, do I want to end their wacky adventures? I mean the wedding has to happen at some point right? I experimented with a moodboard. Let me know if ya'll like it. 😘 Special thanks to @angelofsmalldeath-codeine for being so supportive and helping me to make sure the phrases I was using in Spanish made sense.

Oscar was in the Medical tent laying on his stomach with an ice pack on his ass cheek. He needed a way to get back at Dieter Bravo for this and his stupid goat because on top of being painful, it was humiliating. He asked his assistant to see if they could find where Bravo was staying and what he was up to while he was in Hawaii. He was gonna make sure at least to show up somewhere to freak him the fuck out and maybe find some sort of animal to bite him too. He knew it wouldn’t be a hippo or maybe he could just hit him with his guitar. Oscar wasn’t quite sure at this point, he just knew he was angry as hell and his ass hurt. 

“Fucking Dieter Bravo messing up my money maker like that. This is bullshit. I’m going after that mop on his head.”

Meanwhile, Dieter and Miss Yvette, were on the way up to where the bridesmaid fittings were taking place. The elevator ride to the eighth floor was peppered with small talk, exchanges of compliments on clothing and the venue itself mainly from Dieter. Miss Yvette when they reached the target floor exited the elevator decided to ask,

“Are you the one who gave my daughter the mark on her chest that I used some concealer on?” 

To which Dieter stopped walking and just blinked. Miss Yvette never lost her smile and even started laughing, “Dear you should see the look on your face. I’m not mad, just curious. It’s unlike her, she’s usually more reserved so it’s good to see her loosen up a bit. Just aim for a less public spot next time, have her wear a different dress that covers it or make sure she uses concealer before she leaves your…villa was it?”

Her hand patted his shoulder and he relaxed a little. Bravo was not embarrassed easily, so this was quite a feat. Normally he didn’t meet the mothers of people he was seeing, except a few times years ago and they were all in a club so it wasn’t weird. I mean maybe to people who weren’t there. You had to be there.  He nodded wordlessly and took a deep breath, exhaling. “Yes, ma’am. We’ll be a bit more careful about that.” He got the impression that like her daughter, Miss Yvette was not one to be trifled with. She kept the smile on her face and kept walking down the hallway toward the dressing room.

It started with the maid of honor, throwing off her orange sherbet bridesmaid dress standing in the middle of the room in her underwear yelling at the bride to which she responded, “well, that’s why I’m changing the color cause I know no one likes it.” 

The Maid of honor countered with, “well had you taken any of our suggestions, we wouldn’t be having this issue and we wouldn’t have to keep doing these stupid ass fittings, and we wouldn’t have had to buy these ugly ass dresses!” The two longtime friends were arguing in front of the bridesmaids. 

 Maya and the other ladies hung back in their nearly neon bright, sherbet dresses, watching things unfold as the two women inched closer with increasing volume. The maid of honor and the bride continued to get louder with each other until they suddenly stopped and looked at the bridesmaids. 

“What do you all think? The orange brings out the flowers I wanted to put around the venue but if it’s really that big of a deal you don’t have to wear the dresses I guess.” The bride led with which as the maid of home crossed her arms, still in her underwear. Maya wondered if she was cold or not. A fellow bridesmaid tapped her on the shoulder and asked her to come and discuss if they should really tell her that they don’t want to wear these dresses. One of the other ladies asked if everyone had brought a back up dress in case they couldn’t stand the orange. Maya was relieved to hear that all of them had the same idea. The bride interjected that any dress worn should be a warm color that’s light or pastel to still go with her light and airy color scheme. The collective groan was loud and a few women stomped but they all agreed to the pastels.

After some of this commotion was settling down, though there were still some words exchanged from across the room between the maid of honor, and the bridesmaid or the bride a knock came to the door. 

Miss Yvette knocked because she was aware they would likely be in a state of undress. The bridesmaid nearest to the door asked who it was. She announced herself and everybody said they needed a couple minutes to get dressed. Everybody put back on whatever they wore up here initially and just tossed the sherbet dresses in the corner of the room. They’re trash at this point. The bridal party was surprised that Miss Yvette even came up here because she was not interested at all in the dresses. The extra surprise was that she brought a gentleman with her that is not her husband and it’s not one of her three sons. Everyone’s face questioned who this man was, he wasn’t anyone’s husband that had already been identified. All the single ladies had made sure to do that at the meet and greet and zone in on available men. 

Maya had put back on her dress from earlier, it had a deep V in front, the base was white and it had lines of gold, green, brown ovals and various splashes of orange. She was adjusting it to pull it frome where it bunched under her breasts as her mother and Dieter walked in. His eyes fixed on Maya, slowing his pace. Miss Yvette tapped him on his arm to take him out of his momentary daze. Most of the bridesmaids could tell that Maya was pleasantly surprised to see the mystery man because she walked over to him and wrapped her arms around him, he did the same to her. 

The bridesmaids collectively asked “Who is this man? How do you know him? How long have you known him? Why don’t we know anything about him? He looks familiar?” Maya introduced Dieter to the bridesmaids, all of them recognized the name, some couldn’t place it while the others wondered how Maya could have met an A-list star outside of one of the conventions she goes to.

“How does Maya know him?” 

“How did that happen?”

“We feel like there’s a story here.”

Maya turned to face the bridesmaids and bride beaming, “I don’t have to tell ya’ll anything. Have a good rest of your evening,” she looked up at him while she still had an arm around him standing side by side, “Dieter, let’s blow this popsicle stand!” And started toward the door, guiding him along. On their way out, Miss Yvette gave her daughter a kiss and whispered to her,

“Stay safe and use protection. Don’t be out here like your two older brothers in their heyday.” Maya stopped and turned to her mother in surprise as did Dieter. Turns out Miss Yvette didn’t whisper all that much. “He seems nice so it’s fine. It’s always better with someone nice depending on the mood and what you’re going for,” She waved them off, “Anyway, have fun and see you next time.” Dieter and Maya swiftly made their exit into the hallway and toward the elevator.

“Is that something mothers normally say to their children? Even when they’re grown or maybe especially where they’re grown?” Dieter asked, again Maya’s mother had surprised him and left him in awe. Kit Kat shook her head and placed a hand on his chest.

“Don’t think about it. Mom’s…just kick it out of your mind. I will, there’s been enough trouble today.” Maya sighed.

“I can see that. Why was there one woman in her bra and underwear? There were also dresses on the floor, what happened? I thought it was a rehearsal or something.” He questioned, Maya shook her head.

“The simple answer is that my family is crazy and I don’t have to wear the orange monstrosity. I can wear one of my other dresses I brought with me.” The elevator came to the first floor and the pair made their way to the hotel lobby.

“About that Maya, I think since you’re free to pick your dress, you should get a few of them just for fun and do some outfit changes.” Dieter suggested, opening the door for her as they walked down the stairs to their ride. He also opened the car door for her too and scooped up her dress before getting in himself.

“That sounds great, but then I have to figure out where I would even shop. Sounds like too much of a hassle.” Daisy hopped up in Maya's lap and snuggled against her. Dieter resisted the urge to side eye Daisy as that’s where he planned to lay his head. Laying his head on her shoulder, he exhaled and reached for her hand holding it gently. A smile graced both of their faces as the car pulled away from the hotel.

“You’re worth the hassle Maya, you know that right?” He rubbed his cheek on her shoulder and lifted her hand, kissing it. She giggled and squeezed, raising her shoulder to nudge his head. Dieter raised his head, kissing her cheek. “We’re going to work up an appetite before dinner and a new nickname for you, Almond Joy.”

Maya chuckled, pressing her forehead to Dieter’s temple, “you’re such a tease you fluffy boy.” The smile on her face is something that Dieter wanted to bottle and keep with him. “Why Almond Joy? I thought I was Kit Kat?”

“Says the woman who said she was going to move up the timetable and hasn’t yet. You’re the tease. We’re making a stop before dinner. Just to look and if you really don’t want to get anything, then you don’t have to.” Letting go of Maya’s hand, Dieter picked up Daisy and put her on his stomach as he laid his head in Kit Kat’s lap. “Before you tell me to move, you promised I could.” He grinned as he looked up at her.

“What do you mean we’re going to make a stop? To where? Dieter you’re dead set on buying dresses. I swear you just want to dress me up.” Her hands immediately went to his soft curls. Despite her words, she wasn’t fussing at him. “Were you really able to find a place where I can be fitted? That seems like a tall ask.” One of her hands ran down and covered Dieter’s eyes, Maya was tearing up a little bit. Stupidly sweet man. Daisy hopped off of his stomach to try and lick her tears on her face.

That was when Dieter saw something he knew he wouldn’t want to see again. 

Her tears,

“Shit, Maya what’s wrong? I mean if you don’t want the dresses I’m not going to force you I just-” Bravo shot up and pulled her onto his lap which surprised her so much she stopped crying for a moment. Her eyes fell on Dieter’s and she saw that he looked worried, concerned even. It was a bit much for a few days to be feeling things like this, overwhelming. She couldn’t lie to herself though and cupped his face.

“Just shut up Dieter.” Maya commanded as her lips softly touched his. It started gently, but when she felt his hands squeeze her hips, she released a groan, parting his lips and letting him in. He didn’t hesitate to use his tongue to explore her mouth as his hands kneaded her flesh. For a few minutes, they forgot they were in the back of a car where there was a driver present and pressed their bodies together until they stopped moving and took a breath. 

The driver announced that they had arrived at their destination and got out but Dieter shot him a look. “Don’t move yet. Are you alright?” His thumb ran across her bottom lip, stealing what was left of her lipstick, he was wearing the rest. “We don’t have to go in if you’re not comfortable.”

“No, I want to. I…Dieter, thank you. I’m not sure if I ever said that to you. I’m more than okay. The tears were happy ones Dee. I’m actually excited about buying a dress which is rare.” Maya laughed as she ruffled his hair.”Let’s go.” She went to move off his lap, but he didn’t let go of her hips yet.

“Almond Joy, you worried me there. I like you in this position though.”

“Dieter, we need to get-”

“Just give me a few minutes, you got little Dee excited.” 

Maya rolled her eyes hard and wiggled her hips on purpose, making Dieter grunt. “Is that right? I’m not sorry about that.” She placed her hands on his chest, “you sure you should be calling him ‘little Dee’? Doesn’t feel small to me.”

“Dammit Kit Kat, I’m tempted to skip the dresses and dinner.” Dieter laid his head back against the seat, loosening his grip on her hips. She was able to climb off and get out of the car. Daisy followed. 

“Nope. You promised and you already had your head in my lap earlier.” Picking up Daisy, she turned to look at a gold and white boutique that had purple flowers around the frame of their window. It looked like there were a few people inside but they had nametags, employees? Maybe it was the end of the day. “Are they closing? People are kinda just standing there. It’s odd.”

After readjusting himself a few times, Dieter finally got out of the car and tipped the driver, telling him he'd text when they were ready for pick up. He placed his arm around Maya’s waist and guided her to the double doors as the staff opened it for them. 

“Welcome Ms. Maya and Mr. Bravo! We’re excited to have you with us today.” The employees had formed a line and were all smiles. The woman speaking was tall, statuesque with a beaming face. Dieter walked Maya into the middle of the room where there was a small stage in the shape of a circle. 

“I’m not going up there. What is it even for?” She questions as she stood in front of it and Dieter chuckled, hopped up on the stage and did a twirl. 

“It’s for this when you find your perfect dresses!” He shimmied his shoulders making her laugh as she set Daisy on the couch. 

“Sure, sure. If I happen to find one I like. But Dieter how-” Before she could finish, he stepped down and kissed her softly, placing a hand on her hip. The employees scattered to start selecting dresses as one woman in a hot pink blazer stepped forward and waited until Dieter took a step back. He turned to the woman in the blazer and looked at her name tag quickly.

“Susan. This is Maya. She’s looking for some dresses to wear to her younger brother’s wedding. At least two bridesmaid dresses and one evening gown. She’ll argue and tell you she doesn’t need them. But pick ugly ones so she’ll be forced to actually pick because I know she’ll feel bad for making me buy her any ugly dresses.” Kit Kat didn’t think that his smile could get any more smug with the way he ended his request. She sighed and cut her eyes at Dieter before following Susan and a few other staff to look at dresses and then the fitting room. 

It felt like she had tried on twenty dresses. Thankfully, most of them were actually her size. Susan had said that they specialize in different body types in this boutique and that’s why she enjoyed working here. One of the assistants commented that she had broad shoulders and that she had been surprised to find shirts that didn’t feel so tight on her shoulders but were baggy everywhere else. It was nice, more than that, it was an actual positive shopping experience. Another moment Dieter had given her, well he’s given her quite a few of them in the few days they’d been together. 

“It’s like I’m in a weird, really pleasant dream. Am I sure I’m not still asleep from that orange juice I drank?” Pinching her arm, she surmised that not, she is very much in the present. Her final dress was the evening gown. Well, a dress and not a gown. It was a bright champagne dress that had different layered pleats. It had small thin straps so the staff fit her for a few strapless bras and threw in some matching panties ‘for the occasion’ as they put it. They also fit her with gold strappy kitten heels. She was a bit nervous to walk out onto the same stage that Dieter had been prancing on, but Susan walked with her and held her hand as she climbed the few stairs that lead up to the stage. 

Dieter was sitting on the couch with Daisy and a staff member came out before the pair and told them that he needed to keep his eyes closed for the surprise. So far, Maya had picked out a satin light pink dress (matching with the bride’s theme) and a red sweetheart dress that had blue flowers on it. She had looked beautiful on both of those so he was curious what the evening gown would be. The staff member told him he could look at the stage now. Dieter stood with wide eyes and an open mouth.

“Well, how is it? I’m not really into gowns so I went with a dress. I like my legs out. Yes I heard how that sounds.” Maya rattled off holding her hands in front of her. Dieter just kept staring and didn’t say anything. “Does it look weird? Maybe it was a bit much, it seemed fun though.”

“You’re not taking it off.”

“What? What are you talking about Dee?”

“If you love it, then you’re not taking it off. ¡Cariño, mirate! Mi reina está preciosa.…” (Dear look at you! My queen looks gorgeous.) Dieter hopped up on the stage, but his foot caught and he nearly fell, but Maya pulled him up. He held her hands, then ran them up her bare arms as he brought her to his chest. “You’re not taking this dress off until I take it off of you. You’re walking out of here with it on with those luscious legs of yours on display. Maya you’re a damn dream.” His hands ran along her back as hers cuddled his soft middle. 

“You’re way too much Dieter…” She closed her eyes again and held in a sniffle as he stepped back to give her a kiss on her forehead. 

“I am, but you enjoy that about me. Don’t pretend you don’t. You want to hear something funny on the way over to dinner?” He went to talk her off the stage but stopped. “Ah! You didn’t twirl.”

“Bravo…fine. I know you’re not going to let it go.” At this point, she knew better than to argue and took hold of two of the lower pleats and twirled, making herself laugh as Dieter watched. In this moment he wondered what he was going to do when this wedding was over, this is the most fun he had in a long time. It had been even longer since he’d connected with another person, actually wanted to do things for them and cared what they thought about what he did. Her smile is something he wanted to see, her touch is something he wanted to feel, her voice and its various forms is what he wanted to hear and he could stay curled up in bed with her on her soft body. 

“Well, damn…” Dieter Bravo muttered to himself, she appeared to spin in slow motion.

“Are you sure you’re ready to go? Don’t you have to change too?” Maya asked when she stopped twirling and placed a hand on Dieter’s chest to steady herself, she’d gotten a little dizzy.

“Yeah I do, but it’s just a black suit. I’ve already been the center of attention today. It’s your turn.” He took her hand once again and led her back down the stairs to the couch. The staff brought over an eggshell shawl to go over her shoulders as Dieter changed into his all black suit. He wore a plain white button down shirt with a bow tie. It was a classic look which fit Dieter perfectly, his messy curls accented it that much further. The dresses (including the one she wrote in) were packed up by the staff and put in the back of the car as they drove off to dinner. 

On the way, Dieter explained to Almond Joy why he isn’t invited to weddings anymore. It started with his cousin’s wedding where he wore a white suit, not horrible, but not welcome either. It wasn’t really that bad of a thing. His former best friend’s wedding, was delayed because they couldn’t find the groom.

“What do you mean they couldn’t find the groom Dieter?” 

“See I took him for his bachelor party, the poor sucker hadn’t been past the Mississippi River as far as travel in the States in his life so I took him to Thailand.”

“Did you tell his fiance or family? I don’t see this going well.” Her hands found their way to his head again. Dieter let out a soft purr.

“Nah, what had happened was, it was supposed to be a long weekend, but ended up being a week and a half.” He dropped his head back into her lap. 

“Dieter, you had that man miss his own wedding?!” Maya pinched his cheeks as he laughed. “And get up, you’re going to mess up your suit you goof.”

“Not moving. Best spot in the car.” 

“How did it end up taking a week and a half?”

“We explored what the country had to offer. Local cuisine, got to know some of the people, maybe dabbled in some local practices.”

“Ya’ll got high as balls didn’t you? Was he ever the same when he got back to the states?” Her eyes rolled as she shook her head.

“I mean yeah, but not as high as I’ve ever been. It was fair. My friend did get a neck tattoo that said, ‘Me love you long time baby.’ I tried to tell him you shouldn’t play dominos with an old man with one eye because what does he have to lose?”

“I….you know. I would have banned you too. Good Lord.”

“There’s one more incident with another friend.”

“What could be worse than that?”

“Not worse. In fact, they’re the ones that don’t have taste. They said they couldn’t go to Eurovision 2021. So I brought it to them.”

“…I shudder to think what that means Dee.”

“It meant, I had a tear-away suit on as well as the four other guys I was dancing with. We wore maroon thongs that went with the bride’s color scheme and tasteful white nipple pasties.” The car pulled up in front of the restaurant and Maya couldn’t get out of the car, she was holding on to the seat in front of her laughing so hard that her eyes were tearing. 

“Dieter no! Please tell me you’re joking.” She mumbled in between roars. Dieter got out and walked around to her door to open it. 

“I would never joke about that, it also may have been around the same time I was very into drug cocktails. So that’s the part I remember. I was on a table at some point and grinded on someone’s aunt. After that, things got murky and then I woke up in my hotel room naked with Daisy, my previous assistant and a guy in a corner with a blindfold. Don’t know who that guy was. He played the harmonica though.”

Maya turned to Dieter and slid out of the car, grabbing his shoulders as he forehead hit his chest. “S-Sorry, Dieter…I’m sorry you can’t go to your friend’s weddings anymore. From their perspective I get why, but they should also know you mean well. I think. That tattoo incident though was way too much.” She was still giggling as her arm wrapped around his waist and his around her shoulders. “You should do birthday parties though.” He closed the door and they walked up the stairs into the restaurant. It was crowded but they walked through the restaurant to an area upstairs to a terrace where there were white and red roses around a table. Maya gave Dieter a kiss on the cheek from the beautiful set up before they sat down and ordered water and drinks. "Everything is perfect Dee. This evening's been wonderful. I'm not going to Thailand with you though."

“So if I were to ask you, would you get a tattoo with me?” Dieter asked, waving his right arm with his black triangle on it. Maya sipped her water and smirked. "And don't rule out Thailand yet."

“Maybe not the triangle since you’ve already got one, but maybe another one. I don’t have any tattoos currently. I’ve thought about getting one, but I’m undecided on a few designs.”

“Is that right? Well, I promise it won't be a neck tattoo if that will help.” He chuckled as they chatted and ordered appetizers. “ I will say my Toblerone, we’re finally at dinner and now we’re talking about tattoos. Did you think we’d be here from the airport? You gave me such a hard time Maya.” Dieter tucked his chin and gave a fake sullen look. 

Leaving back in her chair and smiling wide at his teasing, “No. I thought I was insane for agreeing to go with you. I’m glad you offered and I agreed. It’s been nothing like I expected, but everything I didn’t know I needed. I didn’t think I was so tightly wound. Thanks Dieter and…” She paused and finished her drink, trying to find the right words. His hand reached across to hers and took it from her glass, his thumb caressed the back of her hand. Bravo’s eyes softened from their playful glare.

“I know. To be honest, my intentions weren’t exactly above board at first, but then we laughed, drank and played uno and I didn’t want you to go. Still don’t want you to go, I told you you're worth the hassle.”

“A frustratingly sweet fluffy man…” Maya’s voice trailed off as they exchanged soft glances. The appetizers were set at the table and something was amiss. There were two long island iced teas that came with them. Dieter pointed out to the waiter that they hadn’t ordered them. 

Three chords were strummed and the steadily grew closer. Dieter didn’t turn around as he took deep breaths. ‘No. That rat bastard should be crying in his room somewhere. Not here. Not at my damn dinner interrupting my Maya. I only have but so long.’

“Buenas noches a la feliz pareja (Good evening to the happy couple). I hope you enjoy the drinks and the small sample of music.” A man with splashes of gray in his dark curls and beard appeared from behind Dieter and stood at the side of the table. He patted his guitar and took Maya’s free hand, bringing it to his lips as Bravo shot up from the table after letting go of her hand. 

“Your lips touch her hand and I will end you. Shouldn’t you still be having your ass tended to?” Dieter spat, Oscar set her hand down and smirked. 

“My ass was a quick fix thanks for asking. Unlike you, I don’t hold a grudge. I was extending an olive branch.” He looked down at Maya who was perplexed about the situation. “You may want to rethink getting involved with him. He has quite the temper and reputation. A nasty little goat too.” 

“Leave. Now. I’m not going to say it again, Oscar.” Dieter came to stand toe to toe with Isaac, only the guitar between them. Maya stood up and called for the staff to come over, she asked for Oscar to be removed. He held his hands up and left with two other waiters. 

“If you manage to piss off a goat, it just shows how shitty of a person you are half-ass.” Maya yelled out and Dieter snickered, kissing her cheek, then gave her neck a swift peck.

“That’s my Almond Joy for you.” Maya stood with a hand on her hip and felt her face grow warm. This damn lovable man, now she’s involved in whatever beef he has with Poe Dameron of all people. Who knew he was a douche?

Previous: Chapter Three

Next: Chapter Five

The Trash Panda Possse 🦝: @fhatbhabie @morallyinept @pedritapascal @pascalsanctuary @nissaimmortal @grogusmum @katw474 @readingiskeepingmegoing @theywhowriteandknowthings @beefrobeefcal @goodwithcheese @iamasaddie @megamindsecretlair @pamasaur @pedrodascal @marcus-is-my-muse @clawdee @trulybetty @perotovar @joelslegalwhre @josephquinnswhore @secretelephanttattoo @for-a-longlongtime @legendary-pink-dot @sin-djarin @maggiemayhemnj @rhoorl @sp00kymulderr @linzels-blog @joelmillers-whore @guelyury @laurfilijames @missladym1981 @magpiepills @alltheglitterandtheroar @din-djarins-riduur @daddy-dins-girl @ramblers-lets-get-ramblin @yorksgirl @saturn-rings-writes @gwendibleywrites @pedroshotwifey @musings-of-a-rose @soft-persephone @javierpena-inatacvest @mysterious-moonstruck-musings @handspunyarns @i-own-loki @tinytinymenace

[formyloveoflove]

Okoye's New Nickname

some cute, unedited fluff to get the juices back flowing. Enjoy some Puppy Dog! Attuma and Tsundere! Okoye

The aunties at the market started calling her "ithunzi ezibini," and she groaned every time she heard it. "Two-shadowed," she was, and she couldn't argue with them. Not when she had a 6 foot something man of blue skin following behind so close that one could not separate her shadow from his.

"Attuma," he had announced two months ago when she cleaned up after a Wakandan-Talokanil joint training day. It took close to two years for a treaty to be official, and once it was, he wasted no time in making her acquaintance.

She gave him a puzzled look before responding back with her own name. She continued placing weapons and machinery where they belonged doing her best to ignore the heated glance beaming from across the room. Once she finished, she quickly exited the sparing room. However, every turn she turned he was there. Silent, but there.

Once she made it to her front porch, she stopped him with a hand to his chest. A warmth that he felt even after he decided back to the sea later that night. "I don't think so, fish," she said. Her face was stern as Griot translated her words back.

He palmed her wrist in his hand, fiddling with her kimoyo beads, recognizing it as the source of this mysterious voice.

"Next time," he whispered as he pressed her wrists to his lips. "do not use this. I wish for my language to fall from your tongue once more."

Okoye snatched back her arm with a look of alarm and confusion. "Get off my porch, shark man," she gritted through anger.

"Use my name, Okoye of the Midnight Angels," he laughed. "I wish to be on your tongue, too."

After that, he always found her, and they stumbled their ways through conversations in their native tongue. They have established a rhythm: she leads, he follows. Everyday, no matter what. He would help tend to her rhinos, make play with her hippos, clean her base boards on Sunday, wash her dishes after every meal. Even when she insisted she was fine, he would respond, "You do not have to be helpless for me to assist you. You just have to be near." And it made her heart stop every time.

"Ithunzi ezibini," an auntie who sold mangoes called out to her. "Where is your shadow?" The warrior shrugged, considering that even the Mighty Attuma needed a break. The day after that was fine, too, but when a week passed, and no sign of the General, she couldn't stop herself from being worried.

After training, she had caught Namora in the hallway. She seemed taken aback that (1) the former tip of Wakanda's spear would call out to her and that (2) she would have so much fear in her voice.

"Do you know why Attuma has not returned?" her back straight as if awaiting an order. Her eyes were as stern as they were warm. She was a tough woman. No one could argue that. But her feeling were so strong, and Namora couldn't help but see her comrade mirrored back.

"Is your question 'why he is away?' or 'when he will be back?'" Namora pried, holding her laughter back until Okoye quickly turned the corner away from her.

It unnerved her how used she was to his presence. She missed how he would tap on her shoulder whenever she got a treat from one of the stalls. How he promised to take a small bite as he unhinged his jaw. Or the sound of his laugh when she snatched her dessert away.

At 3am, she woke up to a heavy knock at her door. The culprit: a bruised and bloody Attuma with a dashing smile and a wobbling stance.

"What are you doing here?" Okoye whispered, pulling him in swiftly yet gently and placing him on the couch.

"I heard you missed me," he smirked.

"I said no such thing," she shouted back to him as she retrieved her first aid kit before plopping back onto the cushions

"If I should bleed out into the ocean, you would feel nothing?" he whispered against her lips. Sly as ever as he struggling to keep his eyes open.

"I did not say that either."

I'm so deep in my AUs that I had to go back to my roots!

[acearohippo]

MonkeyLotus + Lewis discover that they have become popular enough to gain a fan base. Lewis loses his shirt (heh) over the fact the he is a meme (in a good way). Ling goes on a rant about how he is an artists worst nightmare (hands? I got six of em’!) and Xuan saves countless videos and animatics. Fanfic is written. Fic is discovered. Chaos ensues. Xuan makes literal essays of thoughtful feedback. Ling subjects Lewis to a dramatic reading of poorly written smut. The internet knows no peace.

You and me, right now? We this 🤞🏼. Cause I've been on that SAME WAVELENGTH FAM. What started as a thought of "What if the review section existed in universe as a way for non-espers to safely and anonymously vent, criticise, praise, and/or make suggestions about the espers around?" And then, because it was a bunch of out-of-touch boomers who decided to make this a thing, they didn't even attempt to but any regulations on it asides from some basic censoring some curse words and body parts. So, imagine the older espers, like gen xers and older millenials, genuinely wanting to hear what people had to say about them MEANWHILE younger millenials and gen Z espers are like "FFUUUUUU- NOOOOOO!"

Cue the first ever espers union live reading of comments, and Li Ling just adamantly refusing to read a single one of his reviews. Tang Xuan is Lost™ and barely focused, Lewis is trying not to bust out laughing in front of the cameras.

"I'm actually illiterate, you ableist piece of shiii-" -Li Ling, straight faced, but flushed maroon and unable to make eye contact.

"I don't even think you'd be allowed to say half this stuff, live" -Lewis, trying to steal a sheet so he can read it out loud to test the censorship crew

"I have bore witness to a string of words I never thought to be grouped together and we, humanity, are forsakened." -Tang Xuan, Traumatised™

Them discovering fandoms and stan content related to them would be equal parts terrifying (for content featuring themselves) and hilarious (for content about their friends).

Eventually, because the trio of them are such chill and go-with-the-flow type of dudes, they'll probably jump in and add to fandom chaos! I'm talking, more fan service, random social media posts quoting lines from pretty well known fanfics, Tang Xuan sharing a crap ton of art, especially ones featuring him and Li Ling with captions like "this could be us but you're playing 🤡", and saving anything nsfw featuring him to a private account "this could be us but you'd rather impale miramon😔". Li Ling actually gets upset when artists forgo his arms, hand-drawing difficulty be damned, "Ableist, all of them! >:(" "bro, wtf is up with you and ableism?? You just learn that word or somefin?" "Besides, you can get rid of your arms at any time, that's not a disability." "Yeah?? And?? Sometimes people in wheelchairs CAN walk, we ain't taking away their wheeling privileges tho" "... I... Mm. I don't like that that is, probably, an... Acceptable comparison. " "Nah, but hard agree, why tf does that make sense?!" "It's called self-advocacy🤌🏽✋🏽👍🏽 😌✌🏽✊🏽🤙🏽"

Lewis commissions artists to draw all sorts of posters and create shirts and what not for the Fire Fists. Tang Xuan makes weekly posts covering his favourite songs and gets super stoked when they're used in AMVs featuring him. Li Ling will not touch social media because of the amount of thirst comments he gets, but he also reads every single social media post he can find on himself and will make references to them.

And the memes. Oh LORD the memes. Once the Boys get a hold of them, it's over for the Union. Or, rather, it's over for the aged Union members and an all out war amongst the younger espers.

[scarlett-vixen]

hiiii 👉👈 i’m nervous

Oh?? Hi! There’s no need to be nervous! I promise I don’t bite! unless you ask

[integra1127grimmreaper]

Baker Wonderland Part 3

Part 2

Javi Gutierrez

Series Masterlist

Warning: mention of pregnancy, swearing, smut, fluff (video call sex).

Summary: You and Javi try to make the best out of your separation.

"How are you doing, querida?" Javi's concerned look stares at you from the laptop screen.

"I'm fine... constantly tired and hungry, but fine."

A broad smile crosses Javi's face, "and mi pequeña?"

"She's fine" you respond, absent-mindedly rubbing your belly.

"Becoming more active and heavier as the days pass."

Javi's smile falls at the mention of the baby's development.

"I'm missing out on all of those precious moments."

"I know, Honey... but you'll be home soon" you try not to tear up at the heartbroken look on his face. Divulging information that you knew would lift his spirit then.

"I haven't allowed anyone to feel her kicking. Wanted her Papa to be the first to feel it."

"Really...?" Javi stares at you from the screen with those huge puppy eyes of his.

You smile, nodding at him.

"Do you want to see how big she is?"

"Please..." Javi tearfully pleads.

Standing up from your desk, you move the chair aside to give a better view as you lifted your shirt up and cover your head.

"Hermosa..." Javi utters, transfixed at the sight of your growing child.

"I look like a baby hippo, I know" you chuckle, lifting your belly a bit.

"Soon I'll be a full grown-ass whale..."

"Cariño" Javi frowns, not liking how you constantly belittle yourself.

"I know, I know..." you roll your eyes, moving the chair back to sit down again.

Javi had gone completely quiet when you sat down, his eyes cast downwards as he stared without blinking.

"Javi, are you ok?" you stare at his trance-like state in concern, waving your hands at the screen then.

"Earth-to-Javi... Are-you-ok...?"

"Oh, sorry" Javi finally snaps out of it, his eyes turning dark with lust then.

"It-it's just..." he lets out a heavy groan, looking up at you with pained eyes.

"You're torturing me here, Querida..."

"Huh?" you arch a brow in confusion.

"You're sitting in just your bra" Javi states, pointing towards your chest for emphasis.

Having yet to understand, you tilt your head at him.

"And?"

"It's been a month since I last touched you" Javi whines childlike.

"Your breasts are even bigger than before, and I can't even enjoy them because I'm stuck on the other fucking side of the world."

"Aww... baby..." you coo at him, a mischievous smirk crossing your lips as you toy with straps of your bra.

"Do you need a little pick-me-up?"

"Please..." Javi whimpers out as you slowly lower the straps to reveal your naked breasts to him.

"Fuck..." he groans out at seeing them, his hand instantly dropping to grope at his now hard cock.

"Are you hard baby?" you croon out, palming your breasts and squishing them together.

'Fuck, yes..." Javi hisses, removing his cock from his pants and tightly squeezing it as he watches you.

"Is your cock out?" you smirk at the torturous look on your husband's face.

Javi's face is flushed as his eyes drop down in embarrassment.

"Yes."

You stare at him through hooded eyes as you bite into your lower lip.

"Show me."

"God, baby that looks painful..." you coo out in sympathy as he slowly stokes it after standing up to show you.

"It misses you..." Javi whimpers as his fist moves upward to squeeze at the weeping tip.

"I miss it too..." you huskily whisper out.

"Are you touching yourself?" Javi enquires after having heard the change in your voice.

"Yes" you chuckle out at being caught.

"Show me how wet you are?" he rasps out.

Removing the hand that was inside your shorts, you show your wet fingertips to the screen.

"Fuck, Cariño..." Javi groans out.

"Want to taste you so fuckin' badly right now."

"Want that too..." you whine out.

"Get comfortable on the bed for me, Querida" Javi instructs.

"Want to see that delicious pussy."

Picking the laptop up, you move to the bed; arranging the pillows for you to be comfortably propped up against, placing the laptop between your spread legs at a distance so that you could still see Javi over your belly.

"Fuck... your pussy is soaked" Javi groans, the pace of him stroking himself picking up at the sight.

"Is it missing my cock?"

"Painfully so..." you whine, rubbing at your swollen clit.

"Wish I could take your pain away, Querida..." Javi rasps out as he jerks off at a steady pace at the sight of you pleasuring yourself.

"Me too..." you whimper, slipping a finger into yourself.

"Been so honey lately."

"That so...?" Javi grunts, tugging harder at his cock.

"Mmhmm..." you whine out, adding a second finger.

"Do-Don't worry, Querida..." Javi huskily responds.

"I'll be home soon... then I'll fuck you as many times as you want."

"Promise...?" you beg, feeling a little frustrated that your fingers weren't nearly as filling as Javi's larger ones.

"On my life" Javi grunts in response.

"What do you do when you're like this, Hermosa?"

"This..." you whine in frustration when your fingers don't give the same effect as his, removing them to continue rubbing at your clit instead (your hormones making it that you could get off on stimulation alone these days.)

"Is that all...?" Javi rasps out as feels his orgasm nearing.

"I..." you pause for a second, a bit embarrassed at what you were about to confess.

"No don't get shy, Cariño..." Javi softly chuckles.

"What else?"

"I sometimes hump your pillow..." you blurt out through a whimper.

"My pillow?" Javi throughs his head back with a heavy groan at the thought of it.

"Have you washed it yet?"

"No" your cheeks become flushed at the confession.

"Don't want it to lose your scent... plan on doing it before you get home."

"Don't..." Javi grunts loudly at the thought of smelling your arousal all over his pillow.

"Want to smell you on it when I get home."

"Javi..." you croak out, feeling your orgasm closing in at hearing what he wanted.

"You're close, aren't you Hermosa...?" Javi groans out, knowing that sound all too well.

"Yesss..." you manage to whimper out, increasing the speed of your fingers.

"Fuck" Javi grunts, tugging at his cock faster while watching as your fingers moves on your clit.

"Cum for me, Cariño" Javi orders, his own orgasm closing in on him just as fast.

"Cum, now!"

"Fuuuck... Javi...!" you through your head back with a loud cry as your release finally hits.

"Shit!" Javi grunts, watching as your hole clenches around nothing and wishing it was around his cock.

"Fuck. I'm cumming...!" he growls out, and you manage to concentrate back onto the screen just in time as his release erupts from the tip of his cock, all over his stomach and hand.

After a few seconds of catching your breaths, you finally speak up.

"Well, that was nice..." you hum out.

"It was" Javi chuckles, pausing the conversation for second.

"Just give me a second so that I can clean up."

You make yourself more comfortable; moving the laptop onto your lap while waiting or Javi to return.

"I'm back" Javi's big brown eyes stares at you from the screen while flashing you a dimpled smile.

"How are you feeling, Querida?"

"Much better..." you smile at him in response.

"Good" Javi's smile broadens while nodding. His eyes turning a little sad then.

"I miss you..."

Tears suddenly fills your eyes.

"I miss you too..."

A frown crosses Javi face at seeing the tears.

"I'll be home soon, ok."

"Ok" you softly utter out.

"Go rest a bit, Querida" Javi suggests.

Feeling exhausted after your release, you stifle a yawn behand your palm while nodding in agreement.

Javi couldn't help but smile at how adorable you looked then.

"I love you."

"I love you too" you respond, smiling as you wave at each from across the screen before logging off. 

Part 4

[strawbs-screaming]

how i think the boxers text

i was bored. also clay puppington looks like don flamenco to me somehow. goodbye

Glass joe - he would type with extra double spaces and use a lot of emojis for the wrong purposes with random capital letters

Example:

"hello. Have you seen my water bottle?"

"aran. is. in the hospital 🤯🤯🤯 call Later!! 🗣️"

Von Kaiser - okay grammar and uses a space before question marks & exclamation points, uses emojis in the intended (boring) way

Example:

"okay !! on my way !! 🚶🏻‍♂️🚶🏻‍♂️🚶🏻‍♂️"

"aran fell down a pothole !! It is NOT 🙅‍♂️ funny !!"

Disco Kid - uses slang often and gets creative with emojis, likes to use keyboard smashes to laugh and leaves typos in for flavor

Example:

"aran really said 🕳️⬅️🏃‍♂️"

"HELP IM EVAPORATEINF😭😭😭😭 LMAO AHKAJSJSJSJSNNSNS PLEASEE"

"YOURW GOING TO JAIL FOR THAT ONE 👮‍♂️👮‍♂️🚔🚔🚨🚨 WEE WOO WEE WOO"

King Hippo - Really ominous messages, texts like hes telling you hes done a mission, sometimes forgets to use a dot and uses a comma instead, sometimes responds with emojis that have 0 relevance

Example:

"oh no,"

"I took care of him. The job is done."

" 🍝🤯"

Piston Hondo - squeaky clean grammar, uses emojis rarely unless he forgets the name of something

Example:

"Alright. I'll call later."

"What was the name of this? I know how it looks like but forgot the name. Looks something like this: 🥨. I think it was called a praised eel or something?"

Bear Hugger - He texts like a Facebook mom, down to the wording and everything

Example:

"You mean pretzel? 🤣"

"How did he fall down a pothole?! 😮"

Great Tiger - too lazy to fix typos so it looks like a ancient language, likes spamming the same emoji over and over again when hes run out of responses, autocorrect fucks his messages up even more

Example:

"wesir did srsn fslk doen s potjole?? (wait did aran fall down a pothole?"

"i dont knoe sf is ıoıld laıyknsyn at araj fellimf dlen and pırjolej" (i dont know if i should laugh at aran falling down a pothole)

"👀👀👀👀👀"

Don Flamenco - proper grammar with some tiny typos that gets autocorrect to mess his message up, his autocorrect is literally cursed, it runs his messages daily

Example:

"Did aran fall town s pit joke??"

"I am do confused"

Aran Ryan - unhinged, emphasizes random parts for no reason, emojis after every sentence, wrong emojis everywhere

Example:

"I fell DOWN a pothole! 🏃‍♂️🏃‍♂️🏃‍♂️"

"shut UP 🖕🖕🖕🚔🦗🖕🥨"

"ILL drag you down there MYSELF!! 🗣️🗣️😡😡"

Soda Popinski - like a grandpa in the good way, sends those positive good morning images in every groupchat hes in

"Rise and shine! 💖"

"I just woke up. Don't know whats going on! 👀"

"Get well soon! 💐🌼✨"

Bald Bull - texts like your dad, except he switches out moves completely when hes cursing someone out

Example:

"ok"

"👍"

"You dumb bitch. Fuck you ass hole."

Super Macho Man - texts like hes making a copypasta

Example:

"Rise and GRIND! 🗣️ Surfs up today! 🤙🤙 Im catching waves like theres no tomorrow! 🏝️🌊"

"I have no idea. I am literally so confused right now. My brain is not working. My thought are not thoughting. I need a reboot. "

Mr Sandman - FINALLY someone that types like a normal person!!

Example:

"How did you fall down a pothole?"

"how great."

[spotsandsocks]

Seven Sentence Sunday (who are we kidding I just want to share words)

Tagged by @prince-buck-diaz thank you sweetheart 💕 and my lovely hippo @hippolotamus

While she gets that going he takes the opportunity to hide in the corner, take a drink of water and calm himself down. It’s fine. It’s all fine. Maybe he’ll just casually go say hello to him in a minute. The thought makes his pulse race and his cheeks heat up again. He takes a deep breath and tries to peer round a bookcase to see if he can catch sight of him again. What on earth is wrong with him. He’s usually the one making people blush, not the other way round. This is ridiculous.

And this bit from a little but later on, because I want to and I can because I’m in charge of me … they’re finally meeting properly 😊

“Hi I’m Eddie.” He holds out his hand and Buck takes it, it’s large and warm, he thinks maybe the handshake lingers a second more than it has to but maybe that’s just wishful thinking. “You were great with the kids today, Chris thinks you’re fantastic. To be honest I enjoyed the reading too, you really brought the story to life.”

He manages to respond to the compliment but only because it’s fairly automatic to say thank you.

Eddie waits for more and when nothing comes he says “So I’m confused, is it Evan or Buck?

Want the mood boards and @ronordmann ‘s wonderful edit again too?

Who would like to share a random amount of sentences on whatever day this finds you? 💕💜💕

@mysteriouslyyounggalaxy @bekkachaos @rogerzsteven @monsterrae1 @alyxmastershipper @megsvstheworld @shortsighted-owl @thewolvesof1998 @heartshapedvows @buddierights @fiona-fififi @the-likesofus @like-the-rest-of-la @thekristen999 @spaceprincessem @cowboy-buddie @heartbeatdiaz @elvensorceress @panbuckley @jobairdxx