#the key word here is 'mediocre.' if it is good i don't care and if it is bad i don't care

[gertritude-art]

a weird recent struggle when watching movies and TV shows

[another-lost-mc]

Omg hear me out

OlderStepBrother!Levi x YoungerStepSister reader

He's so protective over you, after all, nobody's good enough for his little sister except for him<3

a/n: oh, he'd be so creepy.

➤ older step-brother!levi | headcanons

1.4k words | nsfw | gn!reader | dark content

cw: step!cest. reader is late teens/early 20s and levi is mid-late 20s. modern au; implied cyber-stalking/surveillance; cursing; ambiguous ending.

Older Step-Brother!Levi, who's completely uninterested in getting to know you. So what if your parents got hitched? It's not any of his business. He hasn't even met you yet, but the more he hears about you, the more annoyed he is for reasons he doesn’t understand. He doesn't care about what university you're going to, or what your grades are, or that you like "the same cartoons and games" he does. He's not going out of his way just to meet you. It's not even worth his time to look you up online. He couldn't care less.

Older Step-Brother!Levi, who you only know vague details about before you meet him for the first time. You don't understand what he does exactly, only that he's good with computers and works freelance and somehow affords his own house in an expensive neighbourhood a few hours away. He might be older than you, but not that much older. Your stomach does somersaults when you think about meeting him because he's new and unfamiliar. Still, you’re cautiously optimistic that maybe if you get along, you can be friends.

Older Step-Brother!Levi, who finally meets you when you go home for the first reading week of the semester. He ran out of excuses to avoid attending a pointless family gathering, and he's just desperate to get his old man off his back about being a recluse. He has his game plan ready: after playing nice for a couple of days, he'll go back home and pretend you don't exist.

Older Step-Brother!Levi, who slowly realizes that maybe you have more in common than he realized. You're not some airhead or annoying social butterfly soaking in the riches of his father's fortune. You mumble your name and glance at him shyly from under your lashes and shuffle on the balls of your feet like you're too nervous to stand still. Levi feels self-conscious too because you point out the anime figure keychain dangling from his car keys and the cute vinyl stickers he decorated his car with. He assumes you're going to tease him, but you chatter on excitedly about how they're some of your favourite characters too. He hesitantly takes the second controller when you invite him to play games in your room, and you're mediocre at best. (It's still endearing when you cheer not because you won the race, but because you avoided driving off the rainbow track.) You might not be hardcore like him, but there's something almost cute about your enthusiasm. Why is your awkward laughter so contagious?

"Why did you choose this room?" he asked between races. Your bedroom isn't tiny by any means, but he knows his old room has nearly twice the amount of space. "I figured you would've cleared out my room, it's a lot bigger." You scratched the back of your neck and shrugged, eyes focused on the TV to avoid his scrutiny. "It didn't feel right going into your room and clearing out the rest of your belongings like that. It's still yours, even if you don't live here anymore." You tapped the gamepad and waited for him to select his character for the next match. "Want to keep playing?" He snapped his head away from your face and looked at the screen, choosing a character at random while he resisted the urge to cover his face in embarrassment. His cheeks burned hot. "Y-yeah, sure we can," he muttered nervously, cringing when his voice cracked.

Older Step-Brother!Levi, who finds himself wanting to spend more and more time with you. His plan to leave after a day or two at most is officially scrapped. How can he leave so soon when you still have ten episodes of the latest season to watch together? There's a bowl of popcorn on the couch between you and when it's empty, he jingles his keys and drives you both to a late-night boba tea shop. The old folks are in bed for the night—they won't even notice you're gone.

"C'mon, you haven't finished watching it yet? But the last season is the best one!" You rub your arm awkwardly in the passenger seat beside him. "I started watching it with my ex but we—well, we broke up on bad terms and I guess it reminds me of them when I try to watch it now." You miss the curious glance when you stare out the window and you don’t elaborate further. He can only imagine the worst even though it doesn’t make sense—you're cute and sweet and who the hell would be stupid enough to ruin something so good? Your shoulders shake and you breathe out a stuttered sigh, and something venomous hardens his expression into something cold, like steel. He’s tempted to ask for your ex's name but decides not to—he suspects it’ll be easy enough to find once he gets back on his computer. He clears his throat to break the awkward silence. "Well, if you wanna try watching it again, maybe we can re-watch the whole series together?" It only takes a second for the hand resting on the gear shift to squeeze your knee gently and return to where it was. He stares at the dark road ahead even though he knows you're looking at him now. "Don't let ungrateful assholes ruin good things for you. You’ve got me now, okay?”

Older Step-Brother!Levi, who is determined to keep in touch when that short week together comes to an end. He already has blank social media accounts he uses to follow his favourite game developers and anime blogs, but now he has a new reason to use them. Once you realize it's him, you accept all his friend requests without hesitation. He even creates accounts for apps he doesn't even use so that he can see all the photos and videos you upload to your private account. He scrutinizes all your old posts and takes screenshots of the photos of you that turn him on he likes most. You don't post a lot of selfies, but he sees glimpses of your daily life: the café near campus you like, your room in the house you rent with some other classmates. Sometimes you post things that remind you of him now too, and even though you don't mention him by name or tag him, he knows who you're thinking about.

Older Step-Brother!Levi, who is surprisingly thoughtful. Sometimes he comments on your social media posts directly, but most of the time he texts you instead. You have disjointed conversations throughout the day and it becomes habit for both of you. He asks how school is going and how your roommates are treating you. You ask him about his job because you're still not sure what a freelance cybersecurity expert does. He gets flustered when you ask him if he's dating anyone and you don't bring up the subject again. Maybe he's just shy?

Player Two: ugh.

LEV14TH4N: what's wrong?

Player Two: are you sure i'm not bothering you? you must be so busy with work...

LEV14TH4N: pfft. you're not bothering me at all. i'd rather talk to you than these idiots i have to work with.

Older Step-Brother!Levi, who claims he has more money than he knows what to do with when he starts sending you little gifts. He asks for a link to your online wish list and has everything delivered express: the latest manga volume he knows you're excited to read; a pre-order for a game that's coming out soon; your favourite snacks. He also sends you an expensive housecoat when you mention off-handedly that yours is getting a little threadbare and you need to buy a new one soon. It's from a high-end boutique you've never heard of but sounds expensive. The robe is made from the softest plush material and it's so warm; it's a bluey-purple colour that reminds you a bit of his eyes. All he asks for in return is a picture once you've tried it on—to make sure that it's the right size, of course.

LEV14TH4N: you look

LEV14TH4N: sorry. it looks nice on you. i'm glad you like it.

Older Step-Brother!Levi, who never seems to sleep. He offers to skim your assignments just before the midnight submission deadline. Later, he reminds you that it's no trouble at all—he was still awake so no need to feel bad! Sometimes when you can't sleep, you scroll through your social media feed and hope the boredom will cure your insomnia, until a familiar name pops up on your screen.

LEV14TH4N: you have class in a few hours, can't sleep?

(He jokes that he just had a feeling you were still up, and you're too sleepy and flattered by his concern to question him further.)

Older Step-Brother!Levi, who makes plans on weekends to come see you at school when he thinks you could use a break. He makes the drive to town—a couple hours away from where he lives—and you spend the day at the mall, or visiting your favourite lunch or dinner spots. You invite him inside to meet your roommates and he looks around your room curiously. You seem happy here, and he's glad.

(You seem happiest with him, and that makes him feel even better.)

Older Step-Brother!Levi, who can't wait to see you on your next school break.

LEV14TH4N: the old folks are going on vacation this winter.

LEV14TH4N: but you can stay here if you want. there's lots of room and it beats spending the holidays stuck on campus by yourself.

Player Two: really? you don't mind?

LEV14TH4N: of course not.

LEV14TH4N: i'm looking forward to it.

[harocat]

(prev anon here. First of all, thank you very much for their sources! It definitely made a bit more at peace. Second, I am very sorry if this goes very long, or if it makes you uncomfortable (feel free to ignore this if it does, I am just kind of venting))

Okay so basically. I finished yoi like a couple of weeks ago and I was so giddy with happiness! (Though there were a few things I could have wished went differently, overall it was such a pleasant, feel good show) HOWEVER I made the mistake of searching for meta on tumblr because I wanted to see what other interpretations were. Because I came across a lot (and I mean A Lot) of posts form when the show aired (2016-18) about people either being disappointed by it being a queerbait/ multiple posts saying it was y//a/o/i fetishizing everything/about how it was just a generally shitty/mediocre show and that it's fandom was delusional or whatever and like. On one hand I do understand that the rep isn't perfect, and that there were various fandom drama that resulted in the wank (namely the crunchyroll award thingy, kubo's confusing interviews(?)) But also it's just. I was obviously not there so I still do not know the full context and it was all OVER years ago and presently, the show is mostly remembered by people with love and nostalgia. But now, I guess I just read too many negative comments about it and I just. Am very upset since I feel like I've lost the happiness the show gave me when I first watched it? I just don't know how to or what to do to like. Not take them seriously?? Obviously people have different opinions, they HAD different opinions but it also feels very draining to read something very, very negative about something you are emotionally connected to. On my first watch, I was almost 100% sure victuuri were canon? (Especially with Yuuri saying he's going to show his love to the world multiple times, and just. The whole show with every episode) and on one hand I get that people wished they could get explicit confirmation, an on screen kiss without it being hidden and everything but I just. I feel so confused and low-key stressed about this, especially since I KNOW all of this discourse is in the past and the fandom doesn't really have any of it now?? And it's been seven years since everything happened and it's over!! But. I just. I saw you've been here right form the start and I really wanted to know if you really had any advice (in lack of a better word) on how to just get over all of this? (Again: please ignore this ask if this is kind of out of nowhere because I am *this* close to chickening out and not sending it fjdgd. But I think I really need to talk about this and put it down because it's bothering me too much:( )

OKAY this is super long. tl;dr corporations and some fans are evil and homophobic, Kubo and Sayo are queens, and YOI is and always will be 100% canon gay.

First and foremost the main reason that the show is remembered largely fondly now and that all those meta about it being queerbait and all are ignored now is because 90% of them were bad faith criticism. There were a fair amount of people who REALLY hated this show, and most of their reasons were pretty petty (seriously I remember them calling themselves the YOI salt squad? lmao)! And they wrote really disingenuous meta that has not stood the test of time because of that. So I know it may be hard and some of their posts might get to you, but do your best to ignore them. They're not done in good faith. They're not done because these people legitimately care about representation. Most of them were done because a show they didn't like was popular and was being heralded as very special. There was actually even a big anti-Kubo movement on 2chan Japan that aimed to basically destroy the popularity of her work and of YOI by doctoring fake tweets, making accusations of plagiarism, etc. Mind, this was not just because of YOI. Before YOI, Kubo did a popular radio show with her best friend, who is one of the most famous trans women in Japan, Mineko Nomachi. She also occasionally discussed lgbtq+ rights in the workplace. You can imagine this annoyed the very conservative users of 2chan.

Secondly, one thing that caused issues in the fandom was mistranslations. There were two translators famous for taking interviews with the creators and basically 'no homo-ing' them. If you ever see translations floating around from Tora on Ice or K@rice, please just ignore them. Even the translations they did that weren't inaccurate, it's not worth digging through the mistranslations to find them. The problem with this ended up being that their mistranslations upset A LOT of people. People ended up really heartbroken over them because YOI and Victuuri meant a lot to them, and though it's mostly ebbed by now, there's still some damage caused by their homophobia.

Just to give perspective, K@rice said that if Victuuri were ever 'confirmed canon' (because according to her, despite making out and getting engaged they weren't canon), she would sell her blu-rays and leave the fandom. Well, I don't know if she sold her blu-rays, but when Otsuka said that quote I linked in the previous ask, where he used the indisputably romantic word 'renai', she did make a post about how 'disappointed' she was and never talked about YOI again. Both of them had a history of doing this in canonically lgbtq+ fandoms before, and have continued to do it in other fandoms since. But yeah, they caused a lot of damage.

Next up, CENSORSHIP.

When Sayo Yamamoto pitched YOI, she couldn't find a studio to take the project on. Although she was considered somewhat of an auteur, neither of the anime she'd made before were hits, and she was trying to sell a show that no one thought that would be popular. Studios that were interested in the project suggested she make it about teenagers in a high school club, which she refused to do. She brought Kubo on to help, and eventually they were able to get Mappa to take the project. At the time Mappa was considered an experimental studio that took on really creative, inventive projects that other studios might consider too risky. Otsuka (Mappa's second in command) at the time thought the show could be a hit, but probably not many other people felt the same. Indeed, there was almost zero buzz for the show before it aired in Japan. They always do big polls for most anticipated anime of the season, and YOI didn't even rank in fall 2016.

So Sayo and Kubo wanted it to be a romance, but Avex (the parent company above Mappa) didn't want this. She had to push for it, and she said that 'all parties' tried to stop her from putting the kiss in, but she insisted. To note, as a woman in the anime industry without any popular shows under her belt, this is hugely badass of her. She and Kubo both could have lost their jobs and lost control of the show they wanted to make so easily. She would NOT compromise. It was amazing of her.

YOI comes out and ends up being like... the biggest hit ever in both Japan and internationally, but while Mappa is pretty happy to embrace the gay (which you see with all the merchandise they directly produce; it's very overtly romantic), Avex gets cold feet (I'm assuming BECAUSE it's so popular). They want this to be a super marketable franchise, but because they are stupid they don't grasp that the romance is part of what makes it that. They stop doing a bunch of magazine spreads of just Victor and Yuuri looking romantic, and start shoving Yurio in there as an awkward third wheel. They try to market the series as a cast of bishounen where you 'pick your fave boy' instead of focusing on what fans are wanting. It's all very messy.

And then, this might not be Avex's fault, but magazine publishers get in on the censorship. In order for YOI art to be accepted in these magazines, they force Mappa artists to remove the rings from Victor and Yuuri's fingers. Although this at first is excused by fans because 'well the rings are spoilers', by a few months post series, fans begin to outcry, and even Japanese fans are growing very angry. One Mappa artist comes forward after the spread she drew is criticized for lack of rings, and says 'she never would have left them off, and that they were there when she submitted the art.' And this is how fans find out what's happening. This happens again when YOI animation director Noriko Ito expresses surprise that the design page for the rings is not included in the YOI setting book released by a publisher, because she knows it was supposed to be in there. The publisher removed it. Later art, as in post 2018, has more often featured the rings, but there's so little of that art that it's hard to know if it would be a permanent thing if YOI ever continued. Plus, that art has been specifically for YOI collabs and merch as opposed to magazine spreads.

After that we find out that Kubo and Sayo are being censored in interviews. Please don't criticize Kubo for being 'vague.' She did the best she could in a situation where she wasn't allowed to talk super explicitly about the romance. We know for a fact that when Kubo and Sayo were interviewed, Avex SPECIFICALLY told interviewers that they were 'not allowed to be asked questions about lgbtq+ aspects of the series.' I know! It's so upsetting. We also found out that Kubo and Sayo brought character designer Tadashi Hiramatsu on the project because they did not think they were being taken seriously as a team of two women (no hate on Hiramatsu though, he's amazing and he totally loves YOI). Avex didn't believe in YOI as a romance, even after it proved so successful. It's the saddest thing on earth.

So the end conclusion is that Kubo, Sayo, and yes Mappa (though I have plenty of criticisms of them now) were pretty cool about YOI. Kubo and Sayo pushed for and wrote a gay romance into a sports anime, something that had never been done before, at constant risk of losing their job and status in the industry. They were badasses and they're both writing heroes of mine because of that, and it actually makes me love YOI more knowing how much they cared and how much they were willing to risk to tell the story they wanted to tell, that of a romance between Victor and Yuuri. And it is a romance, indisputably so, and anyone who disagrees is frankly giving them a slap in the face.

[lakesbian]

Okay umm listen, I have a silly… a very silly question...

Lake crushing on transfem Jesse-

i do love a good opportunity to soapbox my jesslake analysis

i presume the underlying assumption here is that when i say i think jesslake sucks it's because of [points at my url] the lake sexuality take, and hence if you simply Trans Jesse's Gender the circumstances are suddenly amenable to me. they're not--i don't base my analysis of character dynamic on random sexuality headcanons, i base it on the reality of how that dynamic is portrayed in the source media. like, this is a train Analysis blog, if you want my opinion on a ship you're getting my opinion on how compelling that relationship would be within the source media, not on how compelling it would be in some five-layers-of-caricature-and-abstraction fanon version of the media. making jesse a girl--and it is, imo, weird to use the idea of a transfem character as a prop for mediocre shipping instead of as a genuine interpretation--would not change any of the reasons why jesslake is a profoundly uncompelling and backwards interpretation of the season. i don't give a shit what genders or sexualities you make jesse and lake, they're still a bad pairing.

as for the why, i'm gonna let one of the writers of the show summarize:

jesse is...lake's first friend. Ever. she's new to friendship. she's a traumatized 13yo with a subsequently deeply unhealthy and fumbling approach to social interaction. jesse is her first friend, her only friend, and furthermore the only support system she has. jesse has a house, a family, experience with social relationships, and a support system outside of lake. jesse has a social security number and a last name. lake is a homeless kid from another dimension with approximately three months of train-world life experience and, as of the end of canon, some three minutes of real-world life experience.

which is to say that if lake were to date jesse, she would be taking her first-ever friendship--something so emotionally overwhelming to her that she's flustered by even the most basic demonstrations of care from him--and turning it into a teenage romance. you know what teenage romances are famous for? being based on short-lived infatuation with inevitable and awkward break-ups. it's how teenagers Work, having those shitty-dinky teen relationships is an important part of growing up.

do you know how unbalanced and unhealthy it would be if lake, a homeless, traumatized child with no legal existence, started dating the one (1) member of her support system? how uncomfortable and horrible it would be for the continuation of her connection to the one (1) person who can offer her a place to stay be contingent on a romantic connection to him? imagine how ruinous the inevitable teen break-up would be for her. to quote owen:

the key word here is friend. a friendship with jesse is sustainable, low-pressure. they're the special kind of best friends who meet when they're young, share the experience of figuring out how to grow into themselves together, and stay friends for life. that's something so much more compelling and emotionally significant than the idea that their connection on the train was solely the result of short-lived superficial teenage infatuation.

season two is not about crushes. season two is about two lonely kids finding each other and realizing that they're lovable despite what they might think or what the world might be telling them. season two is about the best-friendships that save and change lives. in the season two DVD bonus commentary tape for the wasteland scene, show writer katai points out, and i quote exactly: "it's so cruel and dismissive that he keeps calling jesse just 'lake's boyfriend.'" (dennis and queripel chime in with "yeahs" after this comment is made.) and it's cruel and dismissive for a reason: because season two is about a platonic love far, far deeper and more significant than any romantic interpretation of the season could ever be.

making it some dumb teen romance isn't just implausible/unhealthy if you engage with it in the full context of the show's narrative, it cheapens The Absolute Shit out of the relationship dynamic they do actually have. and sure, you can say "but not everything has to be realistic/accurate to the show all the time!!!" but infinity train is a show about very realistically written people experiencing very realistic problems in their very realistic lives, where the one added element of absurdity is the train. i like to engage with the show on its own terms, i like to interpret character dynamics with the understanding that the world they inhabit is just ours but with the addition of the train. i don't want to make uninteresting, generified shipbait versions of jesse and lake kiss. i want to engage with the way they're actually written in the show.

and the way they're actually written in the show makes it exceptionally clear that jesslake is a boring-ass ship and Travel Besties is where the narratively meaningful shit is at.

if you want jesslake to be a thing, then you better start making alternate universes, because they're never gonna be dating in this one.

[arkhamsorderly]

I'm so glad to see an Arkham worker who has compassion! It's so easy to see the inmates as villains and less than human, I'm glad they have someone who still shows them decency.

What do you think of the doctors/therapists who work there? Do the treat their patients well? I hope they're actually getting help for their mental health. Our system is so corrupt that it's hard to know when someone is actually working to help and rehabilitate criminals rather than just throw them in a cell and throw away the key

Hey there, anon! Thank you for your kind words, I appreciate them.

Some of the doctors and therapists who work here are pretty great. However, they can be few and far between. In my experience, they tend to either leave for greener pastures, or are slowly worn down until they just become mediocre. Some are just a solid "meh". You know the ones- they're scared of the patients, expect them to act like normal people... they might be the most frustrating, because they could be great, but they just aren't. Most of the staff is like that.

And then there are the bad ones, and they're probably second rarest simply because if they hate their work here, they usually skip town pretty quick. Of course there are people like Bolton, who have the "beat 'em up, lock 'em up" mentality and don't really concern themselves with mental health. But that's rarely doctors and more of just general workers.

I hope the patients are getting some actual help too, anon. I don't actually know if they are, because I'm not allowed in their therapy sessions, but sometimes I see a few come out way worse for wear. Makes me think some people aren't as good at their jobs as they think they are.

This is quite the long response! Sorry about that. I have a lot of opinions about the way the staff handles the patients in our care. Have a good day, anon.

[lubdubsworld]

As the days grow shorter, and the nights colder , I find a lot of comfort in music. There's a small restaurant about half a mile from where we live , right on the edge of the cliff overlooking the sea. I love this place because on most nights you get a beautiful view of the lighthouse, the ocean and if it's a clear night without turbulent waves then you can even watch the moonlight play over the waves.

Now this bar/ restaurant opens at around eight in the night. So what me and my husband do is , we ask the nanny to stay back on some days at our place , and after putting the kids to bed( or telling them to sleep knowing they'll be up the minute we're gone) ... My husband and I walk down to the restaurant. It doesn't have a permanent employee who sings but invariably there's someone or the other at the mic.

My husband orders his scotch or whiskey or vodka ... I get my vodka and we just sit there listening to unaccompanied singing by someone. I don't know why but I always start crying no matter what the song or the words.

At times there feels like there's a locked chest full of grief and sorrow and sadness inside me and it is music that holds the key. I cry and my husband let's me. He doesn't sy anything , just looks out into the ocean and takes small measured sips of his drink , occasionally rubbing his thumb against his jwline and sighing deeply.

For me battling depression has been an almost fifteen year journey now. My mother was diagnosed with clinical depression and schizophrenia when I was around twelve and I watched her turn into a complete stranger for a year : a hysterical, angry miserable stranger who was terrified of herself and everyone around her. And people would come to stare at her and I knew not a lot of them actually cared about her. They just wanted to satisfy their curiosity. And I would sit there watching them offer sympathy and condolences like she was already dead.

That fucked me up so bad.

When I got my own diagnosis just five years later I denied it so badly because I couldn't bear the thought of becoming like her. Even today I can sense when I'm going to fall into a depressive episode , the lack of sleep and appetite and just this overwhelming heavyness and sadness like you're grieving something that you never had .... I don't know.

Lastly,

I don't know what to say to people who come here attacking BTS and telling me that I'm insane for wanting them to win Grammy for something that is mediocre and not good enough. I don't know what to say except that some of us measure music by the emotions they invoke. And over the years BTS has given me beautiful music to cry over.

You may hate bts. But you cannot deny that they've built something beautiful. A magic shop that actually works.

A place where I can go exchange certain feelings for others and where I can find solace when I wish for it.

For today, I just want to say that I love BTS dearly and that love is linked not to their music only but to the many ways they've helped me cope.

No award would suffice.

[zalrb]

tv rewatch: gg edition episode 12

so i actually did this review last night but then tumblr was tumblr so the page refreshed for no reason and deleted everything i wrote and i just closed the tab and went to bed because i was so irritated, so let’s see what happens now.

if they were being realistic they'd be doing some lines at this pool party.

also no school key is looking like that, i don't care how fancy the school is.

chuck looks like such a douche, lmao.

blair, you are yelling about chuck blackmailing you and avoiding nate in public space where nate is at, what is this teen wolf?

hmm, so chuck and blair only had sex the one time then? because he keeps mentioning the limo, he doesn't say that they've been having sex, but 'you lost your virginity to me' unless the show is just harping on blair's virginity and her being 'soiled' for nate, which is terrible but would not be surprising.

omg vanessa, GO. AWAY. how are you going to tell rufus to stop telling him to play guitar in his OWN house? did she annoy me this much in real time? lmao.

i like how they know the address to their school, i didn't know the address to any of my schools, i didn't know the address of any of my workplaces either until recently. one time at an old job a customer called and asked what the address to the store was and i was like uh let me check and i asked the other cashiers and no one knew. we just knew when to get off the bus.

the hit on the head is SO DRAMATIC.

also nate swimming over to show he's the good guy, that was a long swim, there was no one else closer?

what i do like about this episode is that it shows the kind of antics that serena would do pre-boarding school so we get another glimpse of what she'd do pre-dan, even though she isn't acting like the old serena there.

LMAO a TEN THOUSAND word essay? that's basically 35 pages on how they got to the party.

"look, blair, i know you have your sights set on yale." lol the details they remember about each other.

"she kissed you?? well, like, was she like ... into it?" lol, chuck.

lol chuck is the one doing something shady here but nate's delivery about how it's worth it to suffer for blair is so cringe, you sound like a douche, nate.

rufus be like SNITCH.

"but not enough to turn the g5 around" this whole class divide thing between rufus and lily, lily has her OWN money though, it's not like she's relying on bart to maintain a certain lifestyle, she can do that on her own.

blair should've just kicked vanessa out of her house, like vanessa doesn't actually have the right to be there?

"no, she needs that grant money..." LMAO, blair's face at that line is HILARIOUS.

idk why this came to me but blair and serena remind me of another version of leslie and ann.

"you wait here, i'll find us a quiet place to work." or he can just go with you? why would he need to wait? OH I KNOW, SO HE CAN HAVE THAT CONFRONTATION WITH CHUCK!

"poor little humphrey dumpty." lmao, chuck and dan do have fun scenes together though.

"i brought you this. it's a love letter." why hand it to her? it'd be more romantic if you mailed it or at least left it with the concierge. oh nate.

alsooooooooo dan is right. and dan being like i'm from a different world, on a partial scholarship and you have privileges i don't doesn't make him abusive to serena.

"actually, this is my footage" but she told you you couldn't film her, vanessa.

"from what i can see, you always seem to be towing the line of mediocrity, nathaniel" LMAO IT'S TRUE THO. i also love her implication that nate is too simple to do something as simple as break into the school.

even if vanessa was looking for a local arts grant to pay her rent, she'd still need to have blair sign a release especially since blair is a minor.

i rate vanessa for taking chuck's money and giving him a blank tape tho.

also the one genuine clue that dan could be gossip girl is when he calls vanessa 'v' in the episode before, if they did subtle shit like that throughout and also didn't make it impossible for dan to be gossip girl it would've worked.

showing lily's boredom with her current life was well-done.

"why didn't you tell me right away?" "because i didn't want you to judge me." "aren't we already beyond that?" no, dan, you're judging her right now, LOL.

"wait, thats why you were suspended? you told the headmistress that [the key] was yours because you thought it was mine? that's the most romantic thing anyone has ever done for me." really? more romantic than a boy who blackmails you and taunts you because he likes you so much and doesn't know how to articulate his feelings so he makes your life miserable?? -- trolls that was a joke

"i love you." "please, you and i just can't happen right now." "why not?" "i don't want to be with you." "good catching up." i know this was supposed to be heartbreaking but that exchange is HILARIOUS.

you know, i've said this before with lily, that the show doesn't frame her as the type of bad mom they want her to be and this is an example of that, there's dialogue about how she essentially puts her love life before her family and they do a good job of dialogue and action in the episode before when she says i want us to go somewhere just the three of us and serena says whenever you do that, you just want us to meet your next husband and she's right but the fact that lily won't follow her heart and be with rufus because of Serena’s high school relationship with dan doesn't show growth for lily at choosing her family first because we didn't see when she didn't, it just shows that she does take serena's needs seriously, she's just sarcastic when she does it.

"your file reads more like a rap sheet, you cut more sophomore classes than you attended, cheated on tests, talked back to teachers" i mean that's it? there isn't even any getting high on campus or showing up to class drunk?

"now this transaction is finished and i'm free to return to disliking you!"

vanessa came out on top this episode, she got free rent for a year and ten thousand dollars.

every time i see chuck i think of when eps said they thought ed westwick looked like a serial killer and they didn't know what to do with him at first.

lily is funny though, she could also just not marry bart.

ugh chaucer.

their study date is cute tho.

xoxo zalrb.

[symbianosgames]

The following blog post, unless otherwise noted, was written by a member of Gamasutra’s community. The thoughts and opinions expressed are those of the writer and not Gamasutra or its parent company.

Midnight Hub is a Swedish indie studio run by former Mojang and Paradox developers. Right now we're hard at work with our story-driven mystery game Lake Ridden. Feel free to reach out on Twitter if you got any questions!

This post was originally posted on our developer blog, by our talented art director Erik Nilsson. By posting it here we hope to spread his advice on how to make a kickass art portfolio when applying for a games industry job! So, without further ado, here are Eriks' advice in his own words:

A few weeks back I found all of my usual artist work for Lake Ridden replaced by one thing: sorting through applications we had received for the available 3D artist intern position. We only had one spot but dozens of applications, so for me that meant portfolio reviews, meetings, emails and interviews all day long.

I really don’t mind it, I love looking at other people’s artwork, but as I began to dig into the pile of emails from students, one thing became clear to me: no one had taught them about presentation or what a good portfolio should look like. Almost all of the applications needed the same kind of pointers. 

An example of concept art for a "hero prop". This was actually the art test we sent some of the artist applying for the internship at Midnight Hub. Each enlarged item tells a story and shows that there is a thought out idea behind the prop.

Knowing how to create and present your portfolio when you apply to a game company, is just as important as having awesome 2D or 3D skills. If you have a badly presented portfolio you will struggle to find work.

This all left me very frustrated, portfolio creation should be a mandatory part of any game art education by now. You can't just teach people a software and then expect them to get jobs, they are competing with every other artist in the industry, or at least the country. And some of those other people certainly know how to present a portfolio.

So! In this blog post I have assembled a few tips on what I think every artist should take to heart, student or not, hopefully it will help some artists that are just now searching for their first game art job or internships. Get ready for some tough love!

Portfolios Are Really Important!

Your portfolio is king. As an artist it is the single most important information about yourself you can send to a company. Of course a short (like half a page max) personal letter is also important too: personality and teamwork is a vital part of game development after all. But as an Art Director, the first thing I will look at is your portfolio.

I don’t really care about your resume, it's always a nice bonus if you have some experience from another company, if you have shipped a title before, or are able show that you can work with other people. All that is great, but none of it matters if your portfolio is no good. As an AD I might have 50 other portfolios to review after yours, and unfortunately I don’t have the time to read a really long personal letter. If your portfolio is not interesting, an AD usually won’t bother with the other stuff.

Our producer Sara wrote a short blog post about on how to apply to a game company in general, check it out here.

Keep It Clean and Simple!

So, since ADs' and recruiters' time usually is very limited, you need to make their work as quick and easy as possible. I want to open an email, press a portfolio link and immediately see your three best pieces of artwork. One click, bam! Your best art right in front of my eyes! Don’t make me search through your email for the portfolio link, don’t make me wait for a long loading time, don’t make me download a plug-in that I might not have on my pad and never send me your portfolio as a zip. 

A robot concept from my own portfolio. As you can tell all the info you need is collected at one place, without any distractions. The contact info is included.

When I say a “good” portfolio I don’t necessarily mean a pretty looking one, don’t spend time decorating your website or blog with flashy fade effects or “cool” layouts. I am there to look at your impressive 3D models, not your pretty website, after all, I am not looking for a web-designer, right? A simple, neutral background color with a bunch of images and some contact info is all I need.

Always put your contact info somewhere at the top of every page in your portfolio, just make sure it’s not distracting me from your pretty pictures. Don’t send me just a demo-reel (unless you apply as animator), or a Sketchfab page. They are cool, but they take time to open and are usually a bit clunky. I want a portfolio page (with your reel on, if your an animator, Youtube embedding works fine). I really don’t want to open a Sketchfab window unless the model looks really cool. And they might not always give me the best first impressions of your artwork. Give me a portfolio with simple images so that I can quickly look at all of your art, even on a phone. Then give me the option to look closer through Sketchfab.

Website or Blog?

It will always look really cool if you have your own website, but today you usually don’t need one. A simple blog with your art on is often enough, or why not use Art Station? A lot of people do, it’s easy to use, clean and most ADs already know how it works. With that said, it does look a bit more professional with your own site.

What Should I Put In My Portfolio? 

When making art for your portfolio there are a few rules you should consider: 

1. Quality before quantity - You only want to show me the best images you got. If you are uncertain on a piece: drop it! Bad images might actually cast doubt on your best ones. I would much rather see five strong images than one good and fifteen mediocre or bad ones. Remember, my time is limited, if I only see three images make sure it’s your best work.

2. Generalist or specialist - Figure out what kind of company you want to work for. Or figure out what kind of work you want to do - large companies usually want people that can specialize.

If you love making every detail on a high poly rifle look kickass, but not much else, chances are you are more suited for a job at a big company. They have tons of people hired to work there and they are competing against the most advanced tech in the industry. Because of this, they would rather pay you for doing one thing amazingly awesome, than doing a lot of different things really well.

Small companies on the other hand (like we at Midnight Hub), usually don’t have the money or space to hire a lot of people, so for them it’s usually more important that you have a broad skillset. They can’t really hire you to only sit and do rifle parts all the time.

3. Adapting to what a company is looking for - If a company is looking to hire an environment artist it’s probably a really good idea for you to have some environment art in your portfolio.

You can’t always adapt your portfolio to everyone’s needs, but if you are really interested in applying for a specific position, and you don’t have anything close to that in your portfolio already, it might be a good idea to make a new piece just for that! For example, if you want to work as a character artist on The Division, try making a next gen post-apocalyptic survivor character for your portfolio before applying.

4. Presentation - Presentation of your art is key for your portfolio. A good model can easily look horrible with the wrong composition and/or lighting. If that’s the case it will also show the AD that you don’t understand these basic artistic concepts. But having good composition and lighting will not only show that you understand this, they can also help your art stand out from the crowd.

A nice 3D environment piece by my friend David Österlind. It tells a story and works great as a beauty shot. It also contains a fairly large amount of props and textures that can be shown in separate images along with their wireframes and maps. 

The same can be said for texture work and design, you want to find some way for your art to stick out from among the huge pile of other artist portfolios. Another really important thing to show in your presentation is workflow. For a 2D artist this can mean including thumbnails, sketches and variations under the final rendered design. For 3D artist you usually want to show one or two beauty shots, with a wireframe, maps, triangle count and maybe a few close-ups or in-game shots.

5. Storytelling in your presentation - Telling a story with your art is another great way to stand out. If you have a concept image of a character, try doing a few more concepts from the same world, maybe a monster, maybe a location, maybe the hero and the villain etc.

With 3D you can do the same thing, or maybe do an animation. If you made a cool tree, try putting it into a game engine, build a scene, light it, maybe add a few plants etc and try to tell a story about the location. Use that as a beauty shot and include another more technical image containing all of the props, maps, wireframes etc. Present your art in a context, rather than just as a bunch of separate images. This will show that you understand storytelling, workflow and pipelines, after all, this is probably how you would work at a real company! 

A few quick environment sketches i did a while back, they are all based on the small black thumbs and they are all set in the same world. This gives a context and a meaning when they are put together. This shows I have an understanding for the 2D workflow.

Time To Summarize!  

1. Portfolio is king. This is your single most important piece about yourself as an artist. Make it awesome!

2. Clean and simple. Art Station works fine. One click, bam! Your best art right in front of the art director's eyes.

3. Quality before quantity. When in doubt, don’t include the piece.

4. Adapt - what kind of games do you like making?

5. Presentation is 50% of the work. Include your items in a scene or put them together in exciting ways!

Thanks for the read and hope this helps! Feel free to ask me in the comments if you think I forgot something you consider important! Also, we managed to find a great 3D artist who will soon join the team, but more about that later. Now, go make some awesome art!   

- Erik