#the last 3 days have brought me to my limit with this bullshit | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

withered-rose-unbreakable-lotus · 4 years

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Let’s talk about quarantine streams and smartass fans

This might piss off some people, but I’ve had it so here we go...these past 2 months have been hard for pretty much all of us and the fact some visual kei artists chose to not leave us alone during this time means a lot. Several of them did their part in their own way and we should all be thankful BUT still, some fans of some bands seem to find it soooo fuckin hard to not throw poison, even during a time like this, and instead of just being happy about their bands being there for them, compare bands to theirs and belittle the effort of everyone else. So I felt like sharing what I noticed from other bands to enlighten some narrowminded fans and also to clear some things up. I am not going to cut this, this will be a long-ass post so you’ve been warned.

So let’s start with the two of the biggest names in the industry shall we?

The Gazette: Many of the Gazette’s fans are disappointed because the band hasn’t been around during this whole time, and many Dir en Grey fans feel like it’s the perfect time to post things like “Where’s your band now?“ or “Gazette who?“. For your information, Reita, Kai and Aoi have been around too, just not as much as other band members. They check on us. And anyway the other day that Reita tried to share an opinion on people sending hate to artists and generally other people, many fans attacked him. He didn’t tell you not to tell your opinion, people, he just said it’s good to filter your fuckin tongue before talking. Did anyone of you think, even for just one second, that he said that because of what’s going around about them right now? And at the end of the day none of the artists who even did spend sometime with us owed us this. Yes we support them, we buy their stuff etc etc, but the only thing artists owe us back for that support is more music and art, not spending their free time with us, nor being our personal psychologists. So yes, please and I mean that, by all means show your gratitude to those who did that these days, but don’t attack bands who didn’t. And I don’t mean JUST the Gazette. Many more bands didn’t do the whole free lives & broadcast thingy, but since they are a big name, they are getting named the most. About Ruki now. I see people saying things like, oh Ruki is hibernating etc, when many fans were yearning for a new album. Personally I wouldn’t be surprised if when the whole quarantine is over, the Gazette will announce a new album. How do you know he is just staying inside doing nth? How do you know he is not caring for his own people or even working on new stuff around the very subject of the virus? I won’t speak about Uruha cause Uruha isn’t a fan of social media in general.

Dir en Grey: Dir en Grey is one of the bands that actually did a lot to stay by the side of their fans from early on during the quarantine, sth which filled their fans with joy. So I don’t understand why their fans then felt the need to start spreading hate to other bands, I really don’t. Dir en Grey were also one of the first bands that did a free live and in a huge arena like it was a full-scale show. I found that really remarkable and I was like whoa this is so amazing of them. But seeing their fans say things like “oh no other band does that, bitches“ etc, made me not care so much and overshadowed their kindness with hate and fans who really don’t deserve all that, in my opinion. I am not saying all fans are like that, in any way, I follow so many amazing Dir en Grey fans who are genuinely exhilarated about what they did and who just post about their happiness without hating on others, but yeah it’s really such a big shame to see the dark side of their fandom. Every fandom has a dark side but during this quarantine I got to see Dir en Grey’s one, as I am only familiar with the fandoms I myself am in. So for those bitter Dir en Grey fans I got one thing to say: not every band has their money to make such a show in such a big arena and hundreds more vkei artist actually stayed by their fans side during the whole quarantine. Shocking I know.

And now that’s out of the way, let’s talk about bands that were there too from home:

Kaya: Since the beginning of quarantine, Kaya has been online all the time, interacting with fans, doing various broadcasts, dolled up or casual, and telling everyone we are fighting this together and that he will be on our side no matter what. He’s been showering fans with love, he uploaded videoclips that hadn’t been uploaded so far on his youtube and some songs live. He is going through all kinds of things from fanarts to comments about anything and does so many broadcasts that I have lost count.

REIGN: Even though the band is disbanding at the end of May, during the whole quarantine, all four members have been twitcasting from time to time, with Ikuma being the overdoer as he streamed from 3-4 hours every few days, discussing about various subjects with fans. Even when they weren’t twitcasting, all REIGN members were on twitter, posting and being there for their fans. They also joined a 3-man live with Grimoire and Sick2′s side project at the beginning of the quarantine which they broadcasted for free. The live house wasn’t very big but it was good enough for the three bands performing and they also answered comments until the people working at the live house told them it was time to close for the night

D: D were more active for their paying fandom, but they sure didn’t leave those not belonging in their vip list hanging. They were on twitter the whole time, sharing videos of themselves playing music and even joining tag games that spread among vkei artists during the quarantine to pass their time, urging everyone to stay inside and stay safe. Also, Asagi took an active part in providing for charity during such times. Before the pandemic was announced it had already been decided D were working on a charity single that would send some of the earnings to Australia for the damage of the forest fires last year and, after this was done, he focused on providing money for live houses who were threatened to close due to lack of activity through a single that was written for everyone to know they are not alone. In case you haven’t heard, many live houses hosting vkei shows have been closing the last few years, making it harder for bands to find sometime during each week to perform somewhere. Once live houses are done, so will visual kei artists be, unless they of course turn to online performances. So Asagi focused on providing for the future of the live scene, which was very smart move at the moment and if I remember well some money went to providing people with more masks too. There is a new charity streaming happening at the moment for children, btw.

GLAY: GLAY donated 10 million yen and 5000 masks to medical institutions for COVID-19 relief. Need I say more? GLAY have also been active on their social media for their fans’ sake. I don’t know any more details, cause I don’t follow them that much, but they did things not only for their fans but also for their country.

Kamijo: Kamijo has also being active on social media but moreso lately, starting his own broadcasts to interact with fans. Until that point it seemed that he was working on various things and organizing them to have the form they have now. Kamijo also changed the lyrics of the lead song of his latest single Persona Grata so that the enemy mentioned in it is more of an invisible one instead of a story-focused one like he usually does. According to him, he did that so that the song can work as a hope provider against our current invisible enemy, the virus. He said he wanted to lift people’s spirits and use this song to spread hope, so he made that little change and let me tell you, it is an amazing and powerful ballad. Also, since some if not all shippings have been ceased at the moment, Kamijo uploaded the whole single on his youtube channel for free so that everyone can listen to it and hopefully find some strength to keep believing and maybe get lost in it and forget about the general chaos a little.

Gackt: No, I don’t want to hear it. If you are his haters and haven’t even tried to read or experience what he does for his fans, don’t bother coming for me. Gackt has already been trying to share funny moments with his fans and he hopes he does make it with that, through his instagram and youtube so I wasn’t surprised he kept doing that during quarantine. Last week, he uploaded all his live shows on youtube so that his fans can watch them during quarantine if they wish. He couldn’t provide us with a show during such days so he did give us every show he has done so far for free and so that we could enjoy a show from home. He also kept doing workouts to show us, encouraging us to stay inside and be hopeful and mindful of the people around us. He also started some accent lessons in English for Japanese fans, but I guess even that would be cringy to some of you so you will pass it like that. He’s been trying to spread laughter to his fans and I really appreciate that. And for the hate he got even for that, well, if you don’t like his humor, focus on your favorites and leave him and his fans be. :)

Sui/David: Sui had a performance arranged for Paris around this time but due to the pandemic, he couldn’t make it. He had even fundraised about it so he was really saddened he couldn’t make it. To make up for it, though, he went to a studio with just another person and performed for both his Paris and other fans live with a single phone recording. The studio was really small and, some of you might think oh well big deal, it was just one person, but the place was stuffed with furniture and equipment and on top of that, Sui isn’t very tiny, he is like 1,82 cm so, it was hard for him to move around. But yeah he still tried, he came all dressed up in his costume and even though there were no special effects, good lighting nor a band with him, he did his best to entertain his fans and I respect that. And I also had a good time. ^^ He had prepared enough songs only for 30 minutes that are given for free from twitcast as, obviously he didn’t expect many people to show up nor send him coins (points on twitcast to prolong broadcast) so after that, he cheerfully accepted to keep this going for 30 more minutes, singing a song one more time, then talking with us and closing his show with a Malice Mizer cover of Ma Chérie.

BPR bands: Well all BPR bands have taken over youtube the last one year, but even more so now, the bands kept posting videos to entertain the fans. They also did broadcasts in which they talked with other members online and also interacted with fans. I only follow Kiryu on twitter so I can’t speak for everyone but they sure continued being active on twitter on days like these and joke around to spread some laughs.

Alice Nine: Another band that has been online the whole time these days and broadcasting often. Tora has been taking his gaming channel very seriously these days and yes he has an option to tip him if you want, in fact several vkei artists do that because, like I said, not everyone has the money to survive without working these days, especially artists who can’t really sell their art at the moment, but his youtube lives are free, entertaining and a good company if you are feeling alone. He posts a new video every day or every two days, if sth comes up. Hiroto already had a radio show so I think he keeps going there, I haven’t checked, I’ve only seen his twitcasts but yes all the members have been twitcasting, for vip fans and not and recently they had a broadcast all together from home.

Other artists who also broadcasted a lot and/or did live shows are: RAZOR, Diaura, DOG inThePWO, Mana (Kozi and Yu~ki were more active in tweets not broadcasts), Zamb, Ryutaro (also mostly in tweets), Byo, Jin & Rui Takeru/Sleepyhead, Agato/Izumi (full father mode on his tweets ^^’), Versailles members and Vistlip, SHiSHi, Neth Priere Cain, i.D.A, Satoshi, etc etc.

Now be civil and nice and think before you speak. Enjoy your shows and broadcasts, be grateful and stop throwing poison.

#i am so done #the last 3 days have brought me to my limit with this bullshit #why are so many people so immature dammit #can't you just enjoy things without being a bitch about what others do #especially if you don't fuckin know what others do

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raguna-blade · 3 years

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So I kinda need to talk about this because I saw a post and my brain exploded for a moment.

This is probably extremely dumb but I have to write this down.

So ok, for real for real, if we take a step back from fun and games for a moment from this fun game (hyuk) I think we can all admit that when it comes to shipping in game, and especially with regards to shipping with the Doctor, there’s basically precious little canon text for a good number of them. Tomimi and Gaviel? Oh yeah for sure, textually supported! Doctor and Kal’tsit? It’s very easy to read if only because they’re both being parents to Amiya to the best of their ability, but their precise relationship to each other actually a bit more questionable on the ship front. Platinum and Blemishine? They literally have not met and neither has, to my knowledge, expressed a type to even indicate they’d even be remotely attracted to each other on the romance front, or even get along with each other on the friend front.

But with the Doctor especially it’s all a huge amount of suggestion and impression because the doctor is (technically, technically because we get to make choices of their dialogue but they’re pretty consistently sassy and a bit of a dork, but they don’t get their own lines) a silent protagonist. Only a few characters have anything resembling actual explicit interest in the doctor, of them being Deepcolor(Switch is Flipped), Warfarin (Restraining order) and that’s about it as far as I recall.

OK, but you lead with a TnA Whislash pic where you going with this?

RIGHT, So most characters in their E2 artworks are generally more cool than hot/sexy*. The game is really really really restrained with the horny, even in the swimsuit outfits characters may have.

So we come to Miss Whislash’s picture here which is like...Ok damn, you’re just going all out I get it cool. But otherwise, aside from this singular pic dealie, there’s like no Doctor Attraction vibes being thrown out.

But...

But then like...there’s a couple of pieces of evidence which make you go...Huh.

Talk 1: Doctor. Just to put any scary little misunderstandings to rest, let me say this now. Maria might call me her aunt, but that’s only because I’m higher in the family. I’m not much older than her. I’m still young. I’m still not married. Clear?

Like Alright you’re going to just put that out there but nobody was asking whislash. Nobody was even saying anything about your age, and from what we know of Canon!Doc’s personality there’s no way in hell they brought up the marriage or age angle unless they were personally trying to get a rise out of you and there’s no way that the Doc would even consider that until this very conversation occurred.

Promotion 1: Doctor, can I borrow you? I just want you to help me carry some things. If you’re asking, well... er, just... all sorts of random things I buy when the mood strikes me.

Which is pretty innocuous, just hey man I wanna hang out with you haha don’t worry about it.

Trust 3: Doctor, we don’t get along half bad, but you don’t just lie there and leave it all up to me, not in your wildest dreams. I hate danger plenty, but layabouts leave another bad taste in my mouth. Though, when your back’s against the wall... *cough* Well, we can talk about it then!

Also completely innocuous* right up until that last line which makes me suddenly look at it and realize uh...Wait, why did you kinda drift off there Miss. What went through your head just now. WHOMSTS Back is against the wall here.

All of which when taken with her basically going, Hey lemme just give you a no limit credit card, which has been memed to death with her trying to sugar momma the doctor is yeah pretty damn sus.

But then I again come back to this picture and rememeber that like...These are kinda in universe you know. While i’m going to severely cast doubt on her going on all fours in 50% cheesecake mode** you also have folks like Earthspirit who kinda reference the weird ghost shit that elite operators are apparently capable of summoning stand like (which maybe it’s just image sure, but also maybe not? They kinda stand out and ONLY the elite get them so it’s like...HMMMMM) so this half makes me think that they’re absolutely a thing in universe for...I dunno, morale reasons? Memories? Someone thought it’d be funny and it’s a joke gone too far***

And if that is the case!

Taking into account that Whislash also very much knows image bullshit, and all that especially what with having to fund her run in the KNIGHT SPORTS LEAGUE.

I’m coming down on is miss Whislash trying to seduce the Doctor. Like...Legitimately.

Like is she legit trying to seduce. Am I overthinking this?

And If so, what the hell is the doctors vibe exactly in the day to day I have to know what these people see in this guy who may have GENUINELY tried to eat originum slugs at one point, and has DEFINITELY just straight poured boiling water into their mouth to make tea.****

#Arknights #Whislash #*Your Mileage may Vary #**Because it's still clothed and otherwise very tasteful #***I swear if we find out that they are actually tangible things in universe like collect an operator trading card #***And that probably the doctor started back pre amnesia pre monster days #***I will laugh harder than I have in a long time #****This may be self explanatory actually I feel dumb for even bringing it up that's deffo take home material i'm blind #I now wish to see the continued adventures of the Doctor Completely missing these increasingly obvious signs because they just don't read #As like oolala stuff #And Also Whislash getting absolutely roasted by Nearl and Blemishine #Perhaps Especially Nearl who at this point probably knows the doctor best of the Nearls and has seen enough to know that oh no my Aunts #Taste in [Gender] is T R A S H

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sevlgi · 4 years

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the florist pt. 2

requested: yes

group: dreamcatcher

pairing: jiu x fem!reader

genre: angst, questionable fluff

contents: hanahaki!au, florist!jiu. read part 1 here.

warnings: death

synopsis: Minji’s drawing away. You know that; you can see it, and you can feel it deep in your bones. But when you finally realize the pain afflicting her, will it be too late for you to save her?

a/n: I’M SORRY THIS IS BASICALLY FULL ANGST ASLKDFFDSKJN... i’ll do a part 3 if y’all want it 😬

word count: 3.6k

Sometimes, the arrival of a new person changes the way you see things.

That fact had been true for Minji for years; meeting people always taught her something new, whether it was about the world or about herself. And yet, no one had ever been able to change her thoughts about her 6 closest friends, until she found a beautiful girl in her flower shop, begging for help with the blooms in her lungs.

She didn’t mean to resent Siyeon. She shouldn’t have-- you were a stranger, just another person that used your personal connection to her friends to guilt her into helping you. But when Minji saw how dismissive you were to even the possibility of asking Siyeon to save your life, she realized something about her friend, and she realized something about you.

On one hand, Siyeon knew what she could or couldn’t do to help others. Minji had seen her go out of her way to pick up a fallen grocery basket for someone or help an old lady across the street, but she would never try to lift a car to save someone underneath. She knew her limits, and Minji had to accept that it wasn’t selfish of her to protect herself.

But on the other hand, you were selfless. Too much so, really. You hated the thought of inconveniencing the girl you loved, even if it meant that you would die. It took too long for you to convince yourself to even ask Gahyeon for help, just because you knew how touchy of a subject it was for her.

Maybe Minji loved that about you, at the same time that she hated it. And maybe it was something that she hated about herself as she stared at the speckled purple blossoms swimming about in the toilet bowl.

“Shit,” she whispered, wiping droplets of blood off her lips. “It’s getting worse.”

“Obviously.”

Gahyeon looked more grim than sympathetic as she offered a box of tissues to the older girl. She experienced the disease herself for long enough that she knew how painful it was, and she was smart enough to know that Minji didn’t have much time. “How long has it been?”

“8 months.” Minji gingerly plucked petals out from under her tongue, flicking them away. “I met Y/N 8 months ago.”

She could’ve smiled just by saying your name, but she kept her face solemn as Gahyeon did the math in her head. “8 months. It takes 3 months to fall in love, but knowing you, it was probably shorter.”

Minji rolled her eyes, taking a sip of water. “Watch it.”

“I’m just saying,” Gahyeon protested. “But at most, you’ve had Hanahaki for 7 or 8 months. So why are you basically on your deathbed? Y/N told me she loved Siyeon unnie nearly 2 years before she even bothered to ask me for help.”

“Maybe my heart is just weak,” the florist sighed, leaning her head against the wall. “It’s my fault, I fell for a client. A client, Gahyeon, how stupid am I?”

The younger girl scooted closer, wrapping her arms softly around Minji. “You aren’t. Okay? Y/N is amazing, and if I wasn’t so hung up on... if I had the time for it, I could see myself loving her too. You should--”

“Don’t,” Minji warned, eyes narrowing. “Don’t tell me to tell her. I can’t put that on her, and I can’t let her know that I’m in... that I’m in pain because of her.”

“You’re one and the same, you know that?” Gahyeon shook her head. “The exact same.”

But no matter how much she griped, Minji knew that her friend wouldn’t reveal the secret, not until she was lying on her deathbed. She was trustworthy, and she would leave Minji to her own solutions if she asked for it.

Finding a real solution was what would become the problem.

“Hey, Minji!”

Even though you felt awkward with your shoulder pressed up to your face and bags in your hand, you smiled as you squeezed the phone closer to your face. The florist hadn’t picked up on your call, but you didn’t fault her for being busy. “Uh, I’m coming to you to make Gahyeon’s cake like we promised.”

You cursed as you dropped one of the grocery bags, taking your phone in your hand to finish the message so you could check out. “I’m almost there, so wait up for me! I got some special supplies for you too.”

Rounding the corner onto the Love Blossom, you fished your keys out from your pocket. There was a pink jewel-studded one on the chain, new as of just 8 months ago, but it felt like it had always belonged there as you twisted the lock and pushed the glass door open.

To your surprise, Gahyeon was waiting inside, almost looking like she was shielding the door to Minji’s apartment. “Hey, Gahyeonie,” you greeted, attempting to wave. “Good to see you.”

“Hi, Y/N. What’re those for?” she asked, nodding her head at the bags. “Baking again?”

“Yeah, you know me.” You craned your neck, trying to see if Minji was fixing a bouquet somewhere, but you didn’t find the brunette anywhere. Gahyeon, standing smack in the middle of the shop and blocking the door, didn’t help. “Is Minji here?”

“Oh, yeah. She’s just... finishing something.” The younger girl’s smile was disarming, obviously hiding something and yet innocent enough that you could’ve just been paranoid. “You don’t mind waiting, do you?”

Your eyes narrowed, but you shook your head. “So, uh, how’s Siyeon?”

Gahyeon softened at that, sighing, “Still not ready to see you. I’m sorry, she... she feels guilty now, that Minji and I had to help you not die.”

“It’s okay.” To be honest, it was true; despite all the feelings you’d invested into her, Siyeon couldn’t break you just yet, not even after you barely recovered from the Hanahaki disease. “I’ll give her time.”

“I’m grateful for that,” the other girl smiled, squeezing your arm. “On her behalf.”

Before either of you could say something more, the hidden door creaked open to reveal a Minji that was decidedly more gaunt than when you had last seen her. Her cheeks were hollow, lips pale and dark circles unable to be hidden by the layers of makeup she wore. “Oh. Hey, Y/N, what’re you doing here?”

You raised the bags in your hand in answer. “Baking? We agreed a couple weeks ago.”

“Oh!” Minji attempted an apologetic smile, though you still got the feeling that she didn’t really remember. “Right. Gahyeon, I’m fine, you can go home.”

“Are you sure?” the younger girl eyed the florist critically. “Because--”

“Gahyeon. I’m good.” Minji’s tone left no room for argument, and Gahyeon merely waved at you before making her way out. Finally only the two of you left in the shop, the brunette opened her door for you. “Sorry about that. Come in?”

Despite not really wanting to overstep, you blurted out, “So. What was that about? If you’re sick, I can easily go home and bake there...”

“No, I’m good!” Minji tried her best to grin, but something was just lacking. You also noted that she did her best not to touch you, skirting around the kitchen table to be on the other side. “Did you get chocolate like I asked?”

“I did,” you nodded, accepting the fact that she wouldn’t talk about it until she was ready. After all those months, you learned that when Minji was stubborn, there really was nothing that could change her mind. “Chocolate because Gahyeon likes it, but I also got vanilla to make cupcakes for anyone who doesn’t like it?”

She clapped and you played along by bowing, though she stopped so she could start to taking ingredients out of the bag for you. “Oh-- what’s this?” she frowned at the can of coconut cream she held in her hand.

“That--” you snatched it out of her hand-- “is for you. I learned how to make coconut mousse recently, and I thought that while I’m here, I might as well treat you.”

Minji opened her mouth to speak with a smile, but she was interrupted with a sudden fit of coughing. You reached to grab water for her, concern parting your lips, but she waved you away. “I- I’m fine. A bit of a cold, that’s all, I’ll be right back.”

With that, she ascended to her loft again, leaving you with coconut cream in your hands and confusion written all over your face. In all the 8 months that you had known her, Minji hadn’t gotten sick once; she brought you chicken soup when you got the flu and miraculously avoided it, claiming herself to have “immunity superpowers” with that amazingly infectious smile. So it was weird for her to be so affected by a simple cough.

But as you turned back to your cake recipe, you tried to write it off. After all, she’d saved you already... she didn’t owe you any explanations.

Yubin was sweet. A lot quieter than Minji, but she was that calm kind of funny that didn’t really require being boisterous to invoke laughter from you, and you definitely didn’t mind it. “Thank you for coming to shop with me,” you mentioned as you bent down to stare at the label on a folded jacket. “Minji said she’d come, but she’s really busy lately.”

“Yeah, she can be like that sometimes,” Yubin shrugged, pointing a decorative cup out to you. “She insists that she doesn’t like to burden us or whatever.”

“That’s bullshit, but it sounds like her,” you sighed. You folded the jacket over your arm and picked up the cup on your way to the register, Yubin following with her gift for Gahyeon already hanging on her arm. “But I can’t help but think that she’s hiding something from me... just me.”

The younger girl raised an eyebrow. “Really? I mean, Minji’s been quiet recently, but I don’t think she’s treating you any different. If anything, she’s nicer to you than she is to the rest of us.”

You chuckled at that and passed your credit card over the counter. “Right. She is being really nice to me, almost weirdly nice. You know, I brought my baking supplies over to her the other day, and she didn’t even try to throw flour in my face. It’s weird.”

“You’re right that that doesn’t sound like Minji,” Yubin frowned, opening the shop’s door for you as you walked out. “I don’t know, she’s like a different person after meeting you. Doesn’t talk to Siyeon much--”

At the guilty expression on your face, she stopped talking. “Y/N, it isn’t your fault. Minji... she’s just too kind. She never understood how our friend, who saw the effects of Hanahaki herself, could just let you die.”

“Isn’t it my fault though?” You tilted your head to the sky, observing the fluffy white clouds that floated over the skyscrapers of Seoul. “I gave her that responsibility of healing me, she wouldn’t have given a shit if she didn’t have to heal me.”

“Well, if you think that, then you still don’t know Minji well enough.” The other girl laughed softly, shaking her head. “See, it’s less about letting you die and more about letting someone else die. We all know that Siyeon-unnie couldn’t love you on command, but Minji thinks she was callous with how she rejected you.”

“Yubin...”

She held up a hand so that you’d let her continue to talk. “See, she’s selfless. She could’ve turned you away, no matter how much Gahyeon tried to convince her, but she didn’t. Minji can’t handle the thought of not doing something when she could, but she would also never impose on others.”

“Do you think that’s what’s happening?” you asked suddenly. “Is she sick or something, and won’t tell us?”

Yubin hesitated to answer, her expression conflicted. “I want to say no. But it’s... more likely than not.”

You almost reached for your phone, but you remembered how curt Minji’s text messages had been in the past month, and how often she had blown you off. “Huh. Well, I guess we’ll just have to ask her tomorrow.”

“Yeah. Coffee?” your new friend offered, stopping in front of a small coffee store. You followed her in, more and more worried about the florist as you thought about her. Your heart was beating uncomfortably in your chest again, as quick as it had been when you had Hanahaki, just without the unrequited love clogging your lungs like so many months ago.

You leaped onto Bora’s back as soon as you saw her, laughing as she shrieked. Gahyeon, who had been talking to Bora, grinned at the sight of you in your sparkly outfit. “Gahyeonie, happy birthday!”

“Thanks, Y/N.” She took the gift from your hands to set it down on a table, Bora hitching you up higher on her back. “Now that you’re here, will you convince Handong-unnie to let me see the cake?”

“Not a chance,” you sing-songed, sticking your tongue out at the pouting birthday girl. “I spent hours on that cake, I’m not letting you see it before the grand reveal with Minji. Where is she, by the way?”

“Minji?” Bora frowned, finally giving up and letting you down onto the floor. The petite woman scanned the apartment with her lips pursed, swishing her specialty punch in the cup she held. “Mm. I don’t think I’ve seen her today.”

Your eyebrows furrowed at that, and you stepped further into the living room to try and catch the florist among the throng of celebrators. “Really? That’s unlike her, I would’ve thought she’d be here first.”

“I think Siyeon stepped up for organization this time,” Gahyeon offered. “I can... ask her for you?”

You were tempted to agree; after all, it had been nearly a year and a half since you had confessed and gotten painfully pushed away. But then, you had to know where Minji was for yourself-- any information, even if it was given to you by Gahyeon, wasn’t trustworthy unless you heard it for yourself. “It’s fine,” you sighed. “I’ll go.”

“Y/N, are you sure?” Bora asked quietly, catching you in your stride with her hands on your arm. “She’s not exactly friendly towards you.”

“I’m good,” you smiled in an attempt to reassure her. “Really.”

Once you left the two behind, it wasn’t tough to find Siyeon. She stood in the kitchen with Handong, laughing at some joke or the other that you couldn’t hear over the music. To your alarm, your heart hurt a little bit at how beautiful she looked, blonde hair lengthened by extensions and lips colored; but it wasn’t the disease, just a normal twinge of remaining heartbreak as you approached her. “Hey.”

She didn’t turn until the hostess pushed her to. “Y/N. Hello.”

You pursed your lips at her attitude. “Look, I don’t want to talk to you either. All I need to know is where Minji is.”

“Minji...” Siyeon frowned at that, turning to look at Handong, who shrugged. “She still hasn’t shown up? The party started hours ago...”

Handong offered, “She texted me a little while ago, she said she had a cough? It’s not like Minji to be sick, but I’m sure a cough is no problem.”

“A cough?”

The three of you turned to find Gahyeon behind you, her expression a mixture of grim and absolutely horrified. “Gahyeonie..?” Siyeon asked, panic seeping into her voice just like it did yours.

“Y/N, you need to come with me” was the youngest’s only answer as she grabbed onto your wrist. “We don’t have enough time, Bora can drive you to the LB. And--”

“Hey, Gahyeon, what the hell is going on?” you asked, quieting yourself when she hushed you. “Is Minji sick? And if she is, why wouldn’t you tell us? We can buy her medicine--”

“She has Hanahaki.” Your eyes widened immediately and you stopped in your tracks, ignoring Gahyeon tugging at you. She gave up, and tried to soften her words. “Y/N... Minji loves you. And you don’t love her back.”

You stammered, attempting to find the right words to respond. But there didn’t seem to be any-- none of the sentences on the tip of your tongue could even come close to describing what you wanted to say, so you could only settle or saying, “What?”

Gahyeon pinched her lips together, typing something furiously on her phone. “Yeah. It’s progressing too fast, I think, she was on the brink of death when you saw her last. Coughing out full blossoms already, and I’ve already found her choking on her own blood twice.”

“But...” Your mind raced, trying your best to find an explanation. “I’ve only known her for 10 months.”

“That’s how much she loves you, I guess,” Gahyeon shrugged, turning as Bora bounded down the stairs. “Please save her. It might be too late, but- but I don’t want Minji to die without seeing you one last time.”

Bora grabbed you then, not giving you a minute to even ask if it was okay to leave. It was a short bound to her car in the driveway, and the both of you seemed just as desperate to reach the florist when Bora pressed down on the pedals with close to her full force.

You came dangerously close to crashing into at least 10 cars, and you were sure that you had run a red light, but there was nothing else on your mind as you slammed the car door closed and kicked the door to the flower shop right open. “Minji!” you shouted, craning your neck to try and see up to the loft. “Minji, where are you?!”

At the sound of some weak coughing, you were leaping up the stairs, gripping onto the banisters to move even faster. And there she was, looking all too frail and weak in her bed.

There was a spray of blood on the pale pink comforter, wrapped around her body with minimal effort, and Minji’s eyes were barely fluttering open. “Y/N,” she croaked, hand creeping up to touch your face as you fell to your knees right next to her. Her voice was hoarse, almost gone from the months of coughing up mallow blossoms and blood. “You came.”

“I... of course I came.” Your voice was shaky, and there were hot tears already spilling down your face. “Minji, why wouldn’t you tell me?”

“Not- not your responsibility,” she coughed out. “I couldn’t let you feel guilty for what’s happening to me. It’s not your fault, Y/N, that you don’t love me.”

You sobbed out at that, wiping your eyes roughly with the palms of your hands. “Minji, please...”

The girl lying before you could barely be called a shell of Minji, and no matter what you said, it could only be your fault that her eyes were as sunken as a skull’s. It could only be your face that her wrist was as delicate as that of a bird, that her hand wasn’t even able to support the weight of your head as you slumped down to sob next to her.

There was nothing bright shining in those brown eyes anymore, none of the light that exploded into a thousand golden sparkles whenever you baked her favorite pastries or arranged a bouquet just right. There was no smile on her parched lips, no laughter shaking her entire body or a stupid joke that no one really understood.

All the memories of the Minji that you remembered flooded into your mind, like videos flickering over the nearly-dead girl that you could see in front of you. Minji when she spent hundreds of dollars for your birthday bouquet, Minji when she took you as a plus-one to her favorite concert. Minji when she smiled at coconut tarts, Minji when she presented you with your very own apron for the shop.

Was there something I could’ve said to make your heart beat better?

Said. As what could’ve been Minji’s last breaths began to escape her lungs, your head shot up and your heads reached out to cradle her to your chest, your lips moving faster than you could’ve ever imagined to say those three words out loud. “I love you. Kim Minji, I love you I love you I love you so much, please don’t leave me--”

You couldn’t feel her breathing against you with the force of the sobs racking your entire body, rocking back and forth on the edge of her bed with your hands wrapped around what was left of her familiar frame. “Please,” you cried, her hair damp against your cheek with your own tears. “Please...”

And with the last plea that escaped your lips, she drew in a rattling breath, only to cough it back out with a good 2 blossoms or so. You gasped, holding her away from you and patting her back to help as Minji vomited purple speckled blossoms onto her bed.

“You said it,” she rasped, collapsing. All you could do was continue to cry, the salt of your tears finally tasting sweet on your lips instead of bitter like they did when you thought that the girl you loved was dead.

“Thank you.”

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thediamondgirl17 · 4 years

Text

Feitan Porter x Reader: A Long Time Ago

Hey everyone! I'm not dead I promise! I have been BINGING HxH and JJK for anyone who is interested in knowing. And let's just say Feitan caught my eye and sparked a bit of my creative interest! I still don't know a lot about the PT so your gonna have to give me a bit of artistic liberty here. As always if you want a second part to this, or want me to write something for you feel free to go to my ask box! I'm always open to new ideas! Anyway, I hope you enjoy!

Warnings: PG-13, light HxH Season 3 spoilers, mentions of sensitive subjects.

You didn’t grow up in Meteor City. You lived just outside of it growing up. That meant that you weren’t exactly the most wealthy person in the world, then again not the poorest. However, you had known of the City. Murmurs, whispers, and tales of the cursed city were always among the gossip in your home town. It was never anything abnormal when the adults would whisper things to each other out of your earshot when you were little. However the one thing that had stuck with you the most was the warning that every adult gave you when you went to play by yourself as a child.

“Stay away from the edge of town.”

That was it. Nothing more and nothing less. However, children’s minds tend to block out the logical reasonings of adults so that it is able to explore the unknown for itself. And that is exactly what happened to you.

You had packed a bag with some food in it for a picnic. Your parents were home, and not exactly caring where you ran off to as long as you came back before sunset. So your little legs carried you through town as quickly as they could to get to the edge of town. It wasn’t that long of a walk but it had made you a bit tired. As you got closer to the far edge of town, the grass began to die and the trees begun to wilt. It was as if you crossed over to a whole new deserted world.

You had told yourself that you were going to stop at the edge of town. Told yourself that you were just going to admire the scenery and then head back. Of course though, children never listened, even to themselves. So you continued on, eventually finding yourself walking along broken down buildings that looked like they would collapse. The air was dry and polluted, which made it hard to breathe.

“Look what we have here.” An older man had said. He looked to be in his 40s. He had this disgusting smell of cheap cologne and a dirty five o’clock shadow that covered his chin. “A cute little girl. C’mere...Let’s talk.” He smiled, revealing crocked yellow teeth.

Now, you had not been scared up to this point, but this worried you. You gripped your bag tightly in your hands and took a weary step backwards, away from the man in front of you. Your heart rate had quickened and you closed your eyes, moving your head away from him fearing the worst.

It was only until you felt a hand in your own quickly drag you away from the creepy old man that you opened your eyes. A young boy, much scrawnier than yourself, but obviously your age dragged you along. Your legs had a hard time keeping up with his experienced ones. From the looks of him, he was a native. He stopped after being sure that the two of you weren’t followed. You heaved after the two of you had stopped running and put your hands on your knees to catch your breath.

“Th-Thank Y-you...,” You gasped, trying to catch your breath. But there was only silence. So you tilted your head up to look at him, only to see a small pocket knife aimed between your eyes.

“Give me your money.” He stated. His black hair was greasy and dirty from not having been washed in a while. And his clothes were tattered and much to small for him at this point. You blinked and looked down at your bag. His cold tone had shaken you to your core.

“I-I don’t h-have any m-money o-on me...,” You said softly. “B-but...D-do you wanna split my sandwich?” You asked looking back up at the boy, from the way that you spoke to him, the two of you knew you would have asked that question whether or not that knife was aimed between your eyes.

“...80:20.” He demanded. And you had offered him the softest smile that he had ever seen in his life. Though on the outside he didn’t falter, the inside of him felt...different. You reached into your bag and pulled out your sandwich. You ripped it much over half way and handed him the larger piece.

He was hesitant at first when he took the food. He slowly lowered the knife and began eating, quickly shoving it into his mouth before anyone or anything else could get to it. You sat down on the ground beside him and began eating your own piece.

“Why are you staying? I could kill you.” He demanded to know.

“Then you already would have and taken the rest of my sandwich...I have a water bottle in here too.” You added. “Do you want it?” He nodded. You reached into your bag and pulled out the water bottle, handing it to him. “Here.” He quickly took it out of your hands and drank half of it in one go. His shoulders relaxing ever so slightly from it.

“In one week.” He said, keeping his demanding tone. “You will come back and bring me food and water.”

“Any requests?” You asked tilting your head. He looked down at you.

“Just make sure it’s edible.” And with that, the black haired boy was off.

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From that day forward, every week, you brought him food. You learned his name and where he took shelter. You had learned how many people he had killed, and what happened to his parents. You learned his favorite food. And learned that he was a total sadist. However, you kept coming back to provide him food and water. The last time you say him was many years after your first encounter. The two of you were 15 years old. He had begun to look more handsome in your eyes. And vice versa, though he would never admit it. The two of you sat on a run down bridge that looked old and crumbly.

“Don’t come anymore.” He said sipping from the water bottle.

“Huh? Why?” You asked looking over at him.

“I am able to get myself food and water more often now.”

“Well duh...That’s obvious...I had noticed you started gaining weight like three months ago.” You paused. “I meant that as a good thing.” \

“I know you did.” He said, talking slow like he always did, being sure to pronounce each syllable of the word. “But still.” He stood up and stretched out a bit. “I don’t want to see you anymore.”

“Bullshit!” You called. “Fei...What’s up with you?” You asked softly.

“Get out of this region. Leave and don’t come back. Make a life for yourself.” He said in that same demanding tone of his. “I have. it’s time you do too.” He turned and faced away from you. “Goodbye.”

“Will I see you again?” You asked standing up and staring at his back.

“If you do...It will end up with you dying.” And those were his final words as he walked away.

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Each week after that you brought food to your usual meet up spot. Enough for two. But he never came. It took about five weeks for you to finally get it through your head that he...was gone.

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You had made a life for yourself outside of Meteor City. You had moved away to a nice countryside where everything was peaceful and relaxed. Life was almost perfect. Your job had provided you with enough money to live comfortably and go on vacations every couple of years. However, something in your life was missing. And you knew exactly what it was. However, the only thing you had taking up your mind at the moment was your vacation to York New City. Everything with the Phantom Troupe had just ended. The city assured visitors that the troupe was dead, and not a single one remained to roam free any longer. That news gave you comfort.

Stepping off the train, the bright lights of the city were burning brightly in your face, even though it was nighttime. You had wanted to enjoy it more, so you went to your hotel, put down your things and quickly headed out for a fun night on the town. You had your purse in one hand, and your other was free and by your side.

About 20 minutes of walking had passed before you had reached an old abandoned part of town. That little child that still lived inside you urged you to go and explore it. ‘A look around couldn’t hurt.’ You thought to yourself. Your shoes gently clacked along the sidewalk as you continued to walk. Through the allies and dust ridden streets. All of it reminded you of a place a long time ago, and an old friend whom you hadn’t seen in ages.

However, your nostalgia had faded the moment you heard a small gust of wind come from behind you. It had made you pause where you stood, and your whole happy demeanor shifted. In the last few years you had spent with Feitan, he had taught you some self defense.

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“Your small...like me...and easy prey for anyone.” The black haired boy said, standing up from his spot beside you. You were sitting on the edge of Meteor City where there was some dead grass.

“And why is this important?” Your thirteen year old self said to the thirteen year old boy beside you.

“I can’t always save your ass.” He replied in a slow and snarky way.

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That little training session had taught you a lot. Like how to unconsciously use zetsu. Of course back then you had no idea what it meant, after doing some research on it when you were older you learned it was helpful. So, you masked your presence from the person who was currently following you. You gently slipped off your shoes to limit the sound of your feet on the ground and silently began to walk forward again.

A woman had pinned you against the wall behind you with strength outnumbering your own. She had a large nose, a blonde bobcat, and her chest was exposed from how many buttons were unbuttoned.

“Who are you?” She demanded. “Why are you here? Who sent you?” She asked, holding a knife to your throat. You gulped and steadied your breathing, another thing that Feitan had taught you. Her eyes were directly on yours. ‘Good’ You thought to yourself. You lifted your leg to kick the knife out of her hand, but her other hand caught your leg with ease. You used that momentum to flip yourself over and kick the knife out of her hand. However, her hand remained grabbed tightly onto your ankle.

You moved and started kicking your free foot into her arm, it wouldn’t do much damage to someone like her, but would at least leave some bruising. She grumbled something along the lines of, ‘I’m gonna kill you,’ and grabbed your other leg, sending you to the ground on your back. You coughed up a little blood and used the shoes in your hand to throw harshly at her face. It caused her hands on your ankles to falter just enough in order for you to get up and start running. “If you can’t win. Run.” You heard from the memory of your old friend. You were panting and looked behind you to see if she had been following. However she stopped. And just watched from a distance. You had no idea what hit you until you were on your stomach with your face pushed to the ground and a foot harshly stepping onto your back.

“I’m gonna enjoy this kill...,” A familiar slow voice said from above you. Your eyes widened and you stopped moving. “Scared?” He asked teasingly.

“F-fei...?” You questioned and let out a cough right after. The black haired man currently standing above you felt his eyes widen ever so slightly. His grip softened and he released you. You coughed on the ground and sat up, looking as dirty as you did as a child.

“Leave.” He stated. “...or you will die.”

“Fei wait! Talk to me it’s been year-,” You were cut off when a strong hand wrapped around your neck from behind and held it harshly.

“You know her Feitan? How great!” A happy blonde said lifting up your body off the ground by your neck. “Let’s take her to the boss! I’m sure he’ll be happy to meet her!”

“No...,” The black haired man said looking at the blonde.

“Flip a coin. Call it in the air.” The woman from before said and flipped a coin.

“Tails.” Feitan called. Unfortunately the coin landed on heads.

You had quickly felt the air escaping your lungs. You scratched and struggled and squirmed in his grip for all but no avail.

“She’s got fire! I think the boss will have fun!” He said happily and dropped you onto your knees. You gasped and wrapped your hands gently around your sensitive throat. After regaining a bit of oxygen in your body, the three had started to lead you with them. You were silent with your head facing downward. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Once you had gotten to the hideout, you saw how everyone laid around relaxed and only really looked up when they saw your figure. It was quiet, dark, and damp. It was cold and held hostility.

“Hey Boss! Look what we found! She is very entertaining!” The blonde said happily into the dimly lit room. A man whom sat at the center of the room looked up from his book and made direct eye contact with you. You felt a shiver run down your spine and glanced away to avoid eye contact.

“Why is she here Shalnark?” He asked leaning back a bit.

“She was coming here. She knew how to use Zetsu...and she gave Pakunoda a few good bruises. I thought she would be entertaining!” He admitted almost like you weren’t a person at all.

“Tell me.” The leader said, looking at you once again. Even with looking away from him you still felt the intense eyes on you. “Why are you here?”

“Fuck off.” You spat and kept looking away from him.

“Feisty...Maybe we can force it out of you.” He said and leaned back more.

“She seems annoying.” A black haired girl with glasses said, looking up from whatever she was doing.

“Her attacks were...,” The blonde girl said. “Not experienced...but definitely survival.”

“I’ll ask one more time.” The man up front said. “Why did you come here? To the den of spiders?”

“Spiders?” You whispered. Then you eyes widened and you shot a look over at Feitan. However he didn’t move, just kept is eyes forward in a bored way.

“Ah...So it seems you know him. Feitan, care to explain.”

“She is an old friend. From Meteor City.” He said slowly.

“A native?” The blonde asked.

“...no.” You said and looked up at the boss. “I lived right outside the city.”

“So still in poverty. I’m sure being that close to the city, you had met Feitan before correct?”

“Yes...,” You said softly.

“Were you trying to find him?”

“No...I-I’m on vacation...I came to the city to enjoy it...But this area reminded me of home...so...I took a walk...,” You admitted and looked down. “Are you going to kill me?”

“Probably. You know where out hideout is now.” He said and sighed. “Though I don’t care. You will either stay, or die.”

“Die!” Most of them shouted.

“Stay.” Feitan said loud enough beside you to allow him to hear.

“Then we flip a coin.” He stated and pulled out the same coin that the girl had. He flipped it. “I call tails.” And it landed on it’s head. “Then she shall stay. Feitan, she is your responsibility now.” He stated and that was it. Everyone went back to what they were doing.

“Come.” He stated and started walking down the hallway. You quickly followed behind, now noticing the slight height difference. You were only taller by a few centimeters, but it was taller. Once out of sight from the Troupe he paused. “I told you to leave.”

“And I wanted to see you again! It has been years after you left! Now letters. No pictures. No post cards! Nothing! I still waited for a whole month for you to come back and you didnt!” You shot at him.

“Still a loudmouth?”

“Still a heartless sadist?”

“It’s more of a hobby.” He said coldly, but you knew it was a joke. You smiled softly and stepped closer to him.

“Your so pale...Were you always this pale?”

“Yes. Where you always this annoying?”

“You know it.” You replied.

There was a long moment of silence between the two of you. You stepped closer to him and hesitantly reached up, and gripped on to his collar. You slowly pulled it down and moved your face closer to his, of course it was all slow and hesitant. The only time it wasn’t was when he craned his neck forward to finally meet your lips.

The kiss wasn’t long, or deep, but definitely was not one a friend would give. You gently pulled away from him and he did the same. Your cheeks were warm and his had the slightest tinge of pink on them, that is if you looked hard enough.

“Come with me.” He said lifting up the collar around his neck. “I’ll show you where you will be staying.”

And even though you were in a damp, dark, musky, run down building that was probably going to collapse. Everything finally felt perfect once again.

#hunter x hunter #feitan #feitan x reader #anime #xreader

47 notes · View notes

quietmyfearswith · 4 years

Text

to build a home {dark!bucky barnes x fem!reader}

status — ongoing (?) idk i had a second part in mind but we’ll see

warnings — somnophilia (so non-con), male mastubration, unprotected penetrative sex (in my head the reader has birth control), rough sex, hints at breeding kink, slight praise kink, degradation, attempt at fluff, i think thats all but let me know if i miss something

word count — 9,351 words

a/n — i had this idea for an airbnb thing where the host was into the guest and perfect timing that @imanuglywombat was having a challenge, congratulations by the way on your achievement! and one of the moodboards was a mountain-themed one (the one at the left) and the prompt that i chose was By the cracks of the skin I climbed to the top/I climbed the tree to see the world/When the gusts came around to blow me down/I held on as tightly as you held onto me which is an excerpt from the song to build a home by the cinematic orchestra. i tried not to directly quote the lyrics but instead imply it as best as i can. had fun writing this and was the longest fic i’ve ever written. feedback would be very much appreciated,, have a great day and stay safe guys!

masterlist

Bucky Barnes needed a vacation.

Needed, not wanted or desired, for it was what he required in order to function like a proper human being. Considering every bullshit he’s been through — the world war, the brainwashing, fighting for his life, dying and then being brought back to life — he was definitely entitled to a break.

After bringing everyone back, the team now strives to bring back order and peace. Bucky agreed to be part of the Avengers and SHIELD, but with a unique position. He’d train and prepare their recruits by whipping them into shape and go on missions only if he was deemed as an essential asset. The only reason he took that position because that was what Steve did as he passed down the title of Captain America to Sam. Stark too just became one of the representatives of the organization in order to focus on his family.

It was tricky at first — looking for food and water, source of electricity, gathering supplies, and having the money to do so. That’s when Tony suggested he put his a-framed house on an application called Airbnb. He was confused at first but his simple understanding was that someone would pay him if he agreed to share his house for a given number of days.

The suggestion worked well. Most of those who booked stayed one day and one night, the longest someone stayed was two days and a night. And it wasn’t because he used to be the Winter Soldier and they feared him, but simply because they needed a place to stay before heading up further into the mountains.

Despite the house having three bedrooms, Bucky only posted one being available. The other two bedrooms he prohibited the guests to stay on, even to enter, since those were reserved for him and Steve. Vacationers who stayed in here were very much respectful of his wishes and didn’t pry further more.

As he was watering the selection of plants, vegetables, and fruits that he has, he felt his phone vibrate in his back pocket. Setting the watering can down, he pulled out his phone and noticed how there was notification saying that someone booked the available bedroom he had.

“Booked for 2 weeks?” He read out loud the details of how long the stay of his upcoming visitor would last. It was odd to say the least, but who was he to judge someone for their stay? Tucking the phone back to his pants, he noticed how Alpine was drinking from the watering can he put down, he stroked her fur and smiled when he purred and nuzzled her face further into his palm, “Looks like we’ll have someone staying with us for quite a while, Al,” the 3 month old kitten simply looked up at him and purred once more, “Be a good girl for me alright?”

Following the notice that someone was gonna stay in his house for two weeks, Bucky busied himself in preparing the house — which took only two days for him to do so. He made sure that the rented bedroom was cleaned and that the bed sheets were changed and cleaned. Cleaning up Alpine’s hairballs and fallen furs was something he also did in preparation.

It was a sunny Tuesday morning and he was sitting down on one of the patio chairs, reading a book with Alpine on his lap, when he heard a car pulling up. Setting the book down on the small patio table, he took in the Jeep Wrangler that was parking, but what really caught his attention was who stepped out of the car.

“Hi, I’m Y/N! Are you Bucky? The one who owns the place I’ll be renting for the next two weeks?” Her tone was gentle and friendly, but it was her smile that really captured Bucky’s attention even more. Shakily, he replied, “Yeah, it’s me. Nice to meet you,” he held out his right hand — his other hand had a glove to conceal the metal — for her to shake, to which she shook his hand.

“Oh there’s the cat you mentioned,” she unclasped her hand with his and took note of the fur ball that was standing beside Bucky — it was just really her way of getting his attention and wanting more rubs. “Oh yeah, this is Alpine, hope you’re not allergic or anything?” he wondered as he picked Alpine up and massaged her face a bit, to which she purred loudly.

Y/N chuckled at the scene in front of her, “Not allergic, just wasn’t around cats a lot so I’m not used to them.” Bucky admired her honesty and assured her, “Well don’t worry about her, she’s extremely well-behaved.”

Usually, the guests had no problem bringing in their things from their respective cars and into their room. But there was something about her aura and personality that made him want to stay close to her as much as he could. So he suggested that he help her in bringing in her items. “Did you run away or something? Because I’m telling you now, near the mountains might not be the ideal place to do so,” he joked as he carried two of her duffel bags. As he opened the door to where she’d be sleeping for almost half a month, he put down her bags on top of the dresser.

Y/N set down the backpack and messenger bag she had near the night side table, “Well if the mountains aren’t ideal, then why are you here then?” she retorted back as she sat down on the edge of the bed. Bucky leaned on the dresser and crossed his arms and looked at her with wonder, “So you’re gonna turn this back on me huh?” he teased her.

To which she giggled at, “I’ll tell you my reason for staying here for two weeks if you tell me how you ended up here,” she persuaded him. He sighed dramatically and smiled right after hearing her laugh again at his antics, “The simple answer? I’m here for a vacation. A much needed and a long overdue one at that. How about you?”

She pursed her lips and nodded, she felt that maybe there was more to that but didn’t want to seem nosy so she explained her stay, “Well I’m here to test out some mountain and hiking equipment. It’s my work actually we’re this company that advertises and reaches out to endorsers and tells them about certain products like that one,” she pointed to the duffel bags behind him, “I get to test them, give them an honest review of the products and then let them know.”

“Huh, that’s a unique job,” he said as he ran his hand on his stubbled chin, “Well, I’m gonna let you settle down for now. Feel free to roam around the house, the other two bedrooms are the only ones off-limits,” he informed her and started to make his way out of the bedroom when he heard her call out, “Thanks, Bucky! You’re a great host, so far. Just let me know when I annoy you too much!”

Though it was meant to be a joke, the super soldier thought to himself, Don’t think you will ever annoy me, baby girl.

Before it was even noon, Bucky found himself preparing pasta. What was unusual, is that he was making food enough for the both of them. Usually, he wouldn’t go out of his way to prepare meals for his guests; but he would allow them to use the kitchen as they please as long given that they clean it up after and place things back as they were. But there was something about Y/N that inspired him to make an effort.

Just as he turned the stove off and closed the lid with his left hand that had an oven mitt, he heard footsteps coming from the stairs, and he looked up to see her descending form and smiled warmly at her, “I cooked some pasta, just if you wanna eat or something,” he nervously mumbled as she finally stopped on the opposite side of where he was and sat down on one of the bar stools. “Smells good, I’d love to have a bite if you will too.”

Bucky then brought out two bowls and as he filled them with pasta, Alpine was clawing at his feet and her paws felt a bit warm to his legs that were exposed since he was wearing basketball shorts. As he handed her one of the bowls, he bent down and tucked his beloved kitten onto the sweater he wore, so her head was the only thing seen as it dangled from the neckline of his sweater. “That’s adorable! She just really loves you doesn’t she?” Y/N cooed watching how the kitten peacefully closed her eyes and snuggled closer to Bucky even though he walked around before sitting down beside her, she noticed as well how he didn’t care to remove the mitt on his left hand.

“I was surprised as well with how she loved human touch, which made me think that she isn't a cat but instead a dog, actually,” he shared as she looked at Y/N and smiled as she laughed as she ate. “Though I am curious as to why you’re wearing a sweater when it’s one of the hottest days of July?” As soon as the question left her mouth, she felt how there had been a shift in the atmosphere. How the fun and breezy energy they both were radiating earlier had been converted into something that was stiff and somber.

“I mean, you don’t really need to tell me,” she assured him right away, her right hand reaching for his left forearm and she gently caressed it even though she found it odd how his arm seemed to be more rigid than it looked like, “I was just worried that you might get too hot to the point of dehydration or heat stroke or something like that.” Bucky nodded and went back to ingesting the meal he cooked.

“You’re already hot, but I don’t want you to be too hot to the point you combust,” that comment of hers was something she muttered lowly. But it wasn’t soft enough to get past his super soldier hearing, “Did you say something?” Bucky asked and he tried his best for his facial features to not give away the fact that he heard her clearly. With wide eyes, she just shook her head and quickly filled her mouth with pasta to avoid explaining what it was she said.

Deciding to spare her from shame and embarrassment, he decided to change the topic by asking, “Do you have an itinerary for today?” He looked at her and saw how she had already finished her pasta and was making a move to wash her bowl and utensils, “I’m planning to go for a bit of hike — to test out some items like trekking poles, water jug, backpack, and this windbreaker they made me try out.”

“That sounds fun,” Bucky commented as he placed the fork on his bowl, waiting for her to finish cleaning up, “Would you wanna tag along with me?” as she looked up to ask him, she looked nervous. Perhaps she was filled with doubts and hesitation that she might seem invasive of his privacy, and indeed, that was what she was thinking about.

Smiling warmly at her, Bucky expressed his desire to join her in the hike, “I’d love to join you, doll.”

45 minutes had already passed since they started their hike and there was probably a few more minutes before they would finally reach the higher portion of the mountain. “I think it’s great you agreed to come along with me, Bucky,” the super soldier heard her mention behind him. He was taking the lead and guiding her as she followed him and held on to her trekking poles to stabilize her. “Why’d you think that, doll?” He looked back to her and held his right hand for her to take, to which she did and helped her go higher than to where she was currently.

She let out a breath, which made him chuckle at her antics, “Well for one, I wouldn’t have an amazing tour guide,” she teased him as she jokingly nudged his abdomen with her finger. Normally, Bucky would flinch or turn away when someone he doesn’t really know or is not completely familiar with touches him, especially when it was the metal arm. But this was already the third time she’d touch her and in those three times he did once did not find it uncomfortable.

“And second, I’d get lonely during this trip,” she concluded as she smiled brightly at him. “I’m glad to have joined you as well, doll.” The nickname he gave her made her blush to which he thought that the rose color looked good on her. “And I don’t know if you noticed, but there’s an amazing view behind me. So enjoy the view, doll.” When Bucky moved to the side, that was when Y/N had a chance to fully see the view, and it was unlike anything she has ever seen. The clear lake was breathtaking & the clouds were scattered in the sky though it did not shelter the sunlight. “Wow,” she breathed out and turned to her host and tilted her head when he saw his gloved hands reaching for his backpack and getting a blanket and laid it on the ground. As he sat on it, he patted the spot beside him, a cue for her to take the spot.

Putting her backpack down, she placed the trekking poles beside it before settling on the spot the man beside her patted. “You come here often?” she inquired, she was pretty sure he did since he knew how to get there quickly and safely. “Not everyday, just when I’m bored with housework,” he said as he took off the glove in his right hand.

She nodded and went to get the thermos from her backpack, as well as some chips and chocolates that she offered him, to which the super soldier opted for the chocolate. “So it means you are always here then huh?” she joked to which he laughed loudly, and she thought how adorable it was to see him crinkle the side of his eyes as he carelessly threw his head back in laughter. “I’m serious! You can only do so much housework before you get bored in your house!” she argued.

“Honestly, I’d rather be bored,” Bucky started as he munched on the chocolate she’d given, “For the longest time I was always busy, to put it nicely. And it’s a relief to be ridden of exhausting responsibilities.” Her heart ached at what he said, she might have not fully known what his work was but she could feel the exasperation in his voice. “Sorry for what I said, I was just teasing you,” she offered him a small smile.

Tickling her sides, he relished in the giggles she released, “I know, we don’t need to bring the mood down,” he assured her, “So, what is your review so far of the items you have?” His mention of it did remind her how she needed to take note of how she was satisfied or dissatisfied with the products, shuffling through the things in her backpack, she reached for the notebook which housed the feedback she had for different products.

Writing down her remarks, she also voiced it out for Bucky to hear, “The water jug did keep my water cold. Backpack’s material was not too heavy but it was able to fit all of my items. And this windbreaker,” she struck a pose which once again made Bucky laugh and it made her feel good to know that she can get him to laugh, “Did make me sweat but it’s too thin it’s making me chilly.”

Just as she mentioned how the windbreaker failed to prevent her from feeling cold, there was a gust of cool wind that when she felt it graze her skin, made her visibly shiver. Bucky didn’t like how she frowned on the sensation of being hit with the frosty breeze and wrapped her arms around herself; despite only wearing his sweater and a jacket, he didn’t have to react the same way thanks to the serum. He moved behind her and pressed his chest against her back, wrapping both his arms around her; his right hand wrapped around her stomach while the left hand rested on her thigh.

A sharp intake of breath signified how she was taken aback, but she didn’t find it awkward and instead she found herself instinctively leaning against his chest until the top of her head was just right under his chin. “Is this alright?” she wondered to him, and when she sounded so small, so vulnerable. As he smiled, he comforted her, “Wouldn’t have come close to you if it wasn’t alright, now would I?”

To hide the blush starting to form, she turned away from him and began to write on her notebook about her observations. They sat comfortably in silence; Bucky’s eyes wandered around the scenery, while Y/N was heavily focused on writing the feedback for the different products she got to try so far. The hand on her thigh that was gently caressing her and the steady yet strong heartbeat of the man behind her provided her with a sense of tranquility unlike anything she ever felt.

Leaving the pen on the inside of the notebook, she closed it and placed it beside her backpack. While still looking at the lake she shared with him, “I’ve always wanted to live by the lake.” Not having enough of her warmth and wanting to be close to her, he pushed himself even closer to her, to the point their thighs were now touching each other. “Yeah? Why’s that?”

She shrugged her shoulders and leaned back so the back of her head touched his right shoulder, “Always loved being in the water — whether I’m swimming or rowing a boat. Doesn’t matter what as long as I’m near the water I’m the happiest there.” As she said that he couldn’t help as his mind was filled with the images of the two of them living together and going for daily trips to the lake. And how they’d probably end up fucking or making love by the lake.

Managing to bring himself back to the present, Bucky suggested, “Why not live with me then? That way you’ll always be a few minutes away from the lake.” Her laugh was so loud that he felt the vibrations of it through his chest with how close they were. “Don’t wanna burden you forever, you know? But maybe when I’ve saved enough and I don’t know, have the ability to work from home, I might just move near a lake.”

He frowned at her thought that she considered himself a burden. They’ve spent almost a day and yet he knew in himself how he wanted to spend every day of his life with her. It might seem too soon for that, but he argued that he felt safe with her. That she made him happy. But there was this thought that lingered on his mind; that he was just deprived of affection for the longest time and now that someone’s been showering him with it, he doesn’t want to go a day without experiencing it ever again.

“Well, you’re always welcome in my house, it’s not really much of a home to me anyway,” the optimism in the first part was overshadowed by the sadness in the latter part of his statement. She looked over at Bucky and was saddened to see how his shoulders dropped and there was a sad smile on his lips, “What?” Because what else could she really say?

His eyes refused to meet her concerned orbs, and instead looked at anything but her. “With everything I’ve been through and done, it would be difficult for me to find someone to settle down with.” Upon hearing this, Y/N felt glum with Bucky's response and with how he looked as he said it. She held his right hand and squeezed it reassuringly, “Whatever it is you’ve done and been through is in the past. I’m sure that you’ve changed and grown from who you once were. You deserve to be happy, Bucky.”

What if I wanna be happy with you, baby? He thought to himself for a few seconds, and in a split second decision, he unclasped their hands and reached to where his left hand was still wrapped with a glove. “I’m going to be showing you something, and before you can ask me anything, I’d rather get everything off my chest first, alright?” Y/N looked uneasy yet at the same time curious with what he was going to open up to her.

Untangling his arms from her warmth, he first took care of removing the jacket he wore. She turned to face him and was eager to ask questions but chose to remain silent. As he placed the jacket on top of his bag, he removed the glove that shielded her from fully seeing the lack of flesh on his left hand and instead was greeted with metal.

Y/N lets out a loud gasp as she looks down on the prosthetic arm Bucky had. As her gaze shifted from his hand to his eyes, the super soldier could see how her face wrinkled not in pity, but in worry and concern. What happened? Who did this to you? Did it hurt? Are you still in pain? Those were the four questions that were loitering her mind and Bucky somehow had the idea that those were the things that she had in mind.

“I don’t know if you know, but I was the Winter Soldier. HYDRA, an evil organization, brainwashed me and made me do their dirty work. When they found me, I had fallen off a ravine which made me lose my arm. They gave me a metal one, to make me stronger and more invincible I guess.” Even though he only provided her a summary of what he’s been through, he failed to realize how a few stray tears escaped his eyes. Dainty and delicate fingers wiped his tears away and he smiled at the action.

They both were silent for a few moments, the hundred year old man was bracing himself for the moment Y/N was going to bid him adieu, and he wouldn’t blame her for who would want someone with so much baggage? “You said it yourself, Bucky, you were brainwashed,” she soothed him as her hands settled on his stubbled cheeks and her touch was feather-like and was giving him comfort unlike any other, “That wasn’t what you wanted to do. They forced you to do it. I’m sorry that that happened to you, but you don’t need to let your past define how your future will turn out to be. You’re free now, you take control of your fate.”

She ended her statement by placing a warm kiss on his forehead; the action had Bucky smiling and looking at her sheepishly with crimson in his cheeks. “You’re too kind, doll,” he shyly responded to her assurance. “I meant every word, Bucky. You deserve to be happy,” she then hugged him tight, her smaller frame snuggling into his larger one. With the side of her face resting on his chest and his chin resting on the top of her head, she failed to see how Bucky was smiling widely as a thought and plan came into his mind. I will be happy, baby. Soon, with you.

Following their small heart-to-heart talk, they both went home just as the sun set — not before taking a few pictures of course, mostly of Y/N because Bucky loved how the combination of pink and yellow complimented her skin — so he wanted to take photographs to remind him of this lovely memory. And as they both went home, they bonded even more as they ate dinner.

The following day, however, they both didn’t get to spend as much time as Bucky would have wanted. She told him during breakfast how today she’ll try the pocket WiFi that was given to her. And in the process of doing so she would be having meetings with some of her co-workers. Instead of sulking around, the war veteran tended to his garden, harvesting the vegetables and plants that he deemed were already ready to be eaten, he also washed and dried his laundry, and cleaned Alpine’s litter box.

By the time he had done all his chores, it was already quarter to 5 pm when he settled on continuing to read the book on the porch with Alpine once again laying on his lap. Today’s heat had been more cruel than it was yesterday and with his lovely guest not knowing about the truth of his left arm, he traded the long sleeves for a tank top paired with basketball shorts. Just as he was reading about the climax of the novel, he heard the front door opening and footsteps approaching him, “Hey Bucky, how you doing?”

The mentioned man placed his book down on the table and turned to her with a smile, “Busied myself with housework. Are you done with your test and meetings?” He hoped that she was done with her work, he already missed spending time with her and he wondered that maybe this was what Alpine felt like whenever she wanted to be snuggling next to Bucky. “Yeah I’m done for today! And I was thinking that maybe I can cook something? Was there something you’d like to have for dinner?”

The cheeky part of him thought of telling her how he’d love to have her for dinner but decided he did not want to creep her out. “Surprise me with you culinary skills, doll,” he challenged her and he chuckled with how she responded, “You bet! I’ll make a meal that will make you forget your name with how good it is!”

Throughout the entire time that she made the meal, he kept her company and the conversation between the two flowed effortlessly. Every possible topic that they could talk about, you can bet that they talked about it. And even as they were both eating supper, they both shared more about their personal life. Bucky shared about how things were back in the 40’s and how he missed dancing.; while she shared more about her family and the different jobs she had.

One thing that Bucky was more than pleased to find out was that she was single and had not been dating anyone for a while. After dinner, Y/N found herself wanting to sleep right away due to exhaustion of her work-filled day. But before she did, she asked Bucky if it was alright for them to go back to the lake since she wanted to go for a swim, to which he replied with, “If it’ll make you happy, doll, then I’ll do it.” She masked the giddiness she felt by telling him goodnight and how she couldn’t wait to go.

As the super soldier laid down on his bed, he couldn’t prevent the goofy grin forming on his lips as he recalled how close he got with one of his guests. He never imagined how she could have made this impact on him in a short amount of time. Though he failed to bond with her for the majority of the day, he reassured himself that tomorrow — and possibly the next few days — they’d both get to make up for it. But there was something inside him that seemed too impatient to wait, and instead was extremely eager to start compensating for the time they failed to spend with each other.

Which led him to where he was right now; walking out of his bedroom as he strides with purpose and like a possessed man making his way to where the girl who plagued his mind currently was peacefully sleeping. Quietly, he opened the door just enough for him to take a peek to see if she was startled by the action even though Bucky did so with caution. Not noticing any movement or reaction, he opened the door wide enough to allow himself to enter and closed it as he welcomed himself in her room. Standing at the foot of the bed, he couldn’t help but admire her sleeping form; she was laying on her right side with her right hand pressed to her cheek and her left arm propped down on her waist. He noticed how the end of the blanket that was draped over was along the middle region of her thighs, exposing her lower legs.

He stood there, marveling at how peaceful and how pure she looked. He imagined himself snuggling her frame and providing her with warmth whenever the night got too chilly. Or how he wouldn’t mind her using his metal arm as her pillow as long as he got to run his fingers through her skin in an attempt to lull her to sleep. Or how he would whisper sweet nothings and words of assurance to her should she awake due to a nightmare.

The wholesome and loving thoughts he had took a different turn when her left hand unconsciously bunched up the sheets and moved it away from her body, which exposed her unclothed body to the hungry eyes of Bucky. She laid there with no clothing of any kind and the blanket — which was now pooling between her under boob and just below her navel — now barely concealed her body. His gaze was now roaming around her body and hungirly took in the view; her breasts looking as if it was the most delectable thing he’d ever seen with her gum drop nipples all stiff due to the wind, her luscious legs were just begging to be touched and worshiped, and her cunt, that though he couldn’t properly get an entire view of due to how she was facing the wall but from from where he stood he can see how pretty and enticing it was with how she chose to groom it.

One thing that he was more than grateful for is that her ass was fully exposed and should he choose to sit on the chair that was right across where she laid, he would have gotten a great view of it; and so he did. Sitting down on the chair, he found himself lowering the boxer shorts he wore that suddenly became too tight for his cock that hardened. “Fuck,” he hissed as he began to slowly stroke himself, teasing himself and wanting to savor the view that he had.

From slowly running his hand up and down his shaft, those strokes became fast as his mind was filled with images and scenarios of him taking Y/N in various ways.

“Fuck Bucky, harder,” she moaned as she felt Bucky’s grips on her hips tighten before he controlled her body to match his thrusts, moving her along as he slid in and out of her as a response to her plea. Wanting to feel more of her, one of his hands left her hips to grip her shoulder and pull her to him so her back was pressed against his sweaty chest; to keep her steady and against his chest, the hand on her shoulder detached from her shoulder and moved to hold on to her breast, pulling and tugging on the swollen nipple.

“That what you want, baby girl? Need me to fuck you hard?” He teased her as her whines increased at the assault he was doing to her. She just nodded her head rapidly, but that wasn’t enough for Bucky, he let go of her breast and slapped both of them hard enough to elicit a reaction out of her, “I wanna hear you say it! Say you like getting fucked hard like a slut!”

“I love it! I love how you’re fucking me like a slut, Bucky!” she moaned out loud and found herself hooking her hand to his hand that wasn’t on her hip. The man simply smirked at how much of a wreck she was and he loved it. She guided his hand to her neck and his smirk became even more sinister and he let her know his appreciation, “Yeah you’re just a filthy girl aren’t you,” his grip on her neck tightened and he felt her tighten and got the hint that she was close, “And since I love my filthy girl, why don’t you come for me?”

Bucky knew he was nearing his climax, but he decided that the visual wasn’t enough for him; he needed the actual thing. Completely undressing himself, he walked towards where she was laying and turned her gently so she now laid on her back. “Goddamn you’re beautiful, baby,” he whispered as he kneeled on the bed and his knees were on the sides of her body. He stretched her left leg to the outside of his right knee, her inner thigh grazing his knee. While he lifted her right leg and let it rest on his shoulder.

Rubbing his right hand on her clit, he felt how wet she already was and slid a finger in, moving his finger around, he took note of how she was completely drenched. “I guess you pleasured yourself before sleeping huh?” Pulling his finger out and bringing it to his lips, his suspicion was confirmed as he tasted her sweet juices.

“This’ll be easier then,” he sighed as he pushed his cock in and slid in one swift motion thanks to her juices. He stared off with slow and long thrusts, checking to see if she’ll wake up — thankfully she didn’t. He then took this as his queue to give her harder thrusts, pulling out until his tip lightly brushes the opening of her tight canal and pushing all the way in with force until his balls were pressed tightly against her ass.

“Can’t wait for you to enjoy this when you’re awake doll,” Bucky rasped out in between his thrusts, which were now slowly becoming faster. The speed of his hips were causing the bed to shake and he feared that if it weren’t for his actions, then maybe the sound of the bed hitting the wall would cause her to regain consciousness. But she was so deep in her slumber that she didn’t.

“Gonna cum, gonna cum inside of you. Will mix my juices with yours,” Bucky moaned lowly. And he felt his climax nearing that his judgement was clouded and his sole focus was to let himself go. So he moved around in the bed until his feet hit the floor and spread her both legs wide open to the sides, all without pulling himself out.

Placing his hands on both her inner thighs, he pressed them down and didn’t hold back as he slammed his cock in and out of her pussy. His pelvis met her thighs with each thrust, his hands tightly holding on to her thighs which somehow made her clench down on him even more, his eyes hungrily taking in the sight of her breasts bouncing along with the power of his hips, and the tip of the iceberg was when she began letting out small and quiet whimpers.

“Shit, you’re squeezing me so well baby,” he breathed out as he slammed himself inside her and stayed planted in here as he felt himself release his load. Head thrown back and panting loudly, she whimpered a little and was clenching her pussy which milked even more of Bucky’s seed. She must be dreaming of someone fucking her, God I hope it’s me she’s thinking about, Bucky thought as he pulled his cock out until only the tip was inside her; he stroked the part of his cock that wasn’t inside her, making sure that every last drop of his seed didn’t drip into the bed and was instead all inside her.

After taking a few minutes to recover, he pulled out completely and positioned her in the bed prior to how she was before he came in. He grabbed his discarded boxers and put them on him. Before walking out of the room he went back to the bed, leaned down and pressed a kiss to her forehead, “Can’t wait to swim with you baby girl.”

Arising from her sleep, Y/N stretched her body and rubbed the sleepiness off her eyes. She couldn’t help but grin at the memories of how she pleasured herself before she drifted off to dreamland and when she did, her subconscious was somehow able to project a scenario wherein she was getting railed by Bucky. The mention of his name in her mind had her blushing; she brought her fingers down to her pussy to inspect the aftermath of her masturbation and was surprised to see how wet she was and how much she orgasmed.

Before making her way down to greet her host, she first dressed up in her bikini, however she didn’t want to walk down right away only with the flimsy pair, so she wore a tank top and a pair of shorts on top of the swimwear. Making her way down the stairs, she saw Bucky relaxing on the couch and was on his phone, “Good morning, Bucky. Did you sleep well?”

She plopped herself down at the armchair opposite where Bucky was sitting, and the metal-armed man fumbled to pocket his phone and turn his attention to the girl who warmly greeted him. “I slept peacefully, doll. Where are you headed all dressed up like that?”

“I was hoping we could have brunch by the lake? And then swim afterwards?” She shyly suggested and it was adorable for the veteran to see her all shy and flustered, he didn’t have it in him to reject her idea. “That’s a great idea, doll! I’ve already prepared some food that I can just pack up in tupperwares,” just as he was about to head to the kitchen to do so she stood quickly and told him, “I can do it! My bag’s all ready and I’m dressed up so I can do all those while you get ready.”

He smiled and thanked her for volunteering, he let her know where the tupperwares and picnic baskets were before heading up to change. As he was changing in his room into a navy tank top along with a pair of shorts, he decided that today was the day. He was gonna make his move and let him know that he wants her here with him.

The drive to the lake had been peaceful; Bucky offered to drive and she accepted so she was left to admire the scenery as they both traveled to their destination. Once Y/N caught a glimpse of the lake, she had already been fumbling to unbuckle her seatbelt and before Bucky had fully parked the car, the front passenger door was already being opened and the woman beside him carried her bag as she excitedly ran towards the dock.

“You’re gonna hurt yourself, doll! Be careful!” He called out to her as he switched off the engine and moved to grab the picnic basket at the backseat. Catching up to where she was standing near the edge of the dock, she turned to him and smiled, “I’m sorry, I just get really excited when I see the water. Plus, it’s been forever since I got to swim,” her exaggeration in the apology had him chuckling and he simply put the basket down and took out the blanket he had and laid it out.

Kneeling down, Bucky then rummaged through the items on the basket, “What do you wanna eat, doll? Want to have some muffins? I also have some bacon if you want,” he looked up to see that his lovely doll was stripping off her top and bottoms, with her back facing him. She folded her clothes and placed it on top of her bag, she turned to him and smiled, “I don’t wanna eat, I want to swim first.”

The super soldier barely got to process the words that left her mouth as he was admiring the swimsuit she was wearing, “That’s a pretty bikini you have there, doll,” he mindlessly blurted out. She blushed at the praise and he noticed as well how she rubbed her luscious thighs and it got him thinking that maybe she had a praise kink. “It’s one of the eight swimsuits they sent me,” was all she said before she waived and ran towards the end of the dock and jumped as she splashed down on the lake.

Fuck, one of eight swimsuits? She’s trying to kill me. He thought to himself as he felt his cock start to harden at the thought of seeing her in her swimwear and possibly railing her as she wears it. But first, he thought he had to eat up before making those plans and desires come true.

Y/N was having fun just swimming around. The lake had clear and clean water. She was able to see her feet and the sandy floor through the water. The lack of seaweeds and other aquatic plants on the lake was something she was thankful for since she loathed swimming around and feeling something grazing her leg.

Quite some time had already passed since Y/N began swimming and Bucky was just sitting there as he ate and was staring at her every movement. “Come join me, Bucky! The water’s not too cold, it’s perfect!” he smiled and put the muffin he was munching on down and moved to take his shirt off.

Her mouth hung agape and a little bit of drool came out of her mouth as she gazed on the man’s body. He was toned and defined; her fingers ached to run it through his wide chest and shoulders and she would have also loved to feel his bulging arms wrapped around her. She was snapped out of her thoughts as she heard a big splash and felt the water moving against her.

“Hi there, beautiful,” having this Adonis of a man face her and greet her sweetly had her giggling. “Good for you to join me; was starting to think you didn’t know how to swim that’s why you didn’t wanna join me,” her accusation had him gasping and feigning hurt. “You really think that lowly of me, doll?”

Y/N swam away from Bucky, creating some distance between them; this had the man tilting his head to the side in curiosity. “Don’t tell me you’re easily hurt by that! I wonder what happens if I challenge you to a splash fight?” Just as she said that she began to flick her wrists to splash some water in Bucky’s direction.

They both were giggling as they both began to soak each other with water. After a while they both stopped and Y/N let her arms float on the water as she stared at the man adoringly; while he thought that it was finally time to speed things up. Swimming towards her, he erased the distance between them and held both her hands against his chest. He felt her breath quicken and she was staring at him with wide and inquisitive eyes.

Lifting both her wrists, he placed a long and sensual kiss on the insides of her wrists. A sharp intake of breath was heard from her lips and he rested her forearms on his shoulders as his flesh hand pulled her closer to him by the hips while his metal hand gently caressed her cheek, “Had your fun already, baby girl?”

With a flushed face she nodded and pursed her lips together, “Don’t do that princess, that’s my job,” Bucky reprimanded her as he brushed his metal thumb in her lips but quickly moved the hand towards the nape of her neck and pulled her close for their lips to collide. He swallowed her whimper of shock and took the opportunity to let his tongue inside her mouth.

Slanting his head, he deepened the kiss as his flesh hand moved to wrap her thigh around his hips in order to get their bodies as close as possible and to feel every inch of her. Bucky smirked as he felt her tongue dancing along with the direction of his tongue and when he felt her hands cup his cheeks he couldn’t hold himself back from placing both his hands to grab her bikini-covered bum and grind her core to his.

“Oh God,” she whimpered against his lips, as if she was starting to pull away; but Bucky didn’t want her to do so, so he chased her lips with his and planted it firmly against her, leaving her no room but to comply with what he wanted.

Her hands traveled down from his cheeks to his neck and down to his shoulders, where she anchored herself to separate her tongue from roaming around his mouth. Her chest was heaving up and down as she stared down at Bucky who was loving this out of breath and dazed state she was in, “What was that?”

Her question made him chuckle darkly before teasing her, “That was just a preview of what’s to come, baby,” this just confused her even more and she tilted her head but he simply removed his hands from her body and she whined at the loss of contact — which Bucky thought as completely adorable — but he kissed her forehead, “Enjoy your swim doll, a few more minutes then we go home, got it?” She nodded and watched as he swam his way to the docks and busied himself with drying himself up and packing up their picnic.

She shrugged off the million thoughts racing through her head and decided that swimming would probably help her clear her head.

Something in the air shifted as they both were driving home after spending nearly two hours by the lake. While keeping his eyes on the road, Bucky’s metal hand was on the steering wheel while his flesh hand was gripping and caressing Y/N’s thighs. He loved how she didn’t flinch when he did so and instead she enveloped his hand with both her thighs.

Upon arriving back at the home, Bucky opened the car door for her and she smiled and thanked him. As he went to retrieve the picnic basket, his doll went ahead to get inside the house and it was finally time for him to make his move.

Placing the basket down on the floor without a care, he grabbed her hand as she was headed for the stairs; her bag falling off her shoulders as a result. “Bucky,” she was cut off as Bucky planted his lips against her and pulled her by the hips to feel her skin against his. She moaned out loud and he smirked as he once again let his tongue inside her and began to roam her insides and massaged her tongue with his.

“I fucking need you, baby,” he rasped out without fully disconnecting his lips from hers, “You gonna let me have you?” she whimpered and simply nodded. This made Bucky happy, and to show his appreciation, he kissed her neck and her collarbones as his hands quickly ripped the material of her shirt against her. A loud gasp was let out, and it informed the man who was vigorously kissing her that she was turned on with what he did.

Placing his hands behind her hips, he guided her walk with him to the couch with his lips still attached to her hot skin. They both worked to remove her of her shorts before Bucky was pushing her to sit down on the couch. “Don’t take your bra off, remove those panties, I wanna see your ass,” he commanded as his eyes roamed around her body as he took his shirt and shorts off, revealing that he didn’t have any underwear on.

“Press your cheek against the sofa and put your ass up in the air for me, princess,” he groaned upon seeing her full ass on display. He smacked both her cheeks at the same time and chuckled as she shook her ass in response. One hand had a firm grip on her hip while the other stroked his cock and teased the tip on her clit. “You ready, baby? Want to feel my cock inside you?”

She nodded, “Yes please, Bucky, I need to feel you push your cock inside me,” by the end of her whining he had already slid inside her and pushed it all the way until she felt his balls slap against her ass. She let out a dragged moan as he let out profanities and praises about how she enveloped him well.

Pulling his hips back, he thrust right back in which made her moan once again. His other hand was now teasing her clit by rubbing it and he felt her coat his cock with more of her juices. “God, you feel like heaven, princess. Wrapping your tight pussy around me so good,” he threw his head back but his hips were doing the opposite. His pelvis was slamming deep and fast against her that her ass was feeling the friction of his trimmed pubic hair.

“It’s so good, Bucky. Love how you’re pounding me,” the praise and small amount of dirty talk was enough for Bucky to groan and drive his hips even deeper and stronger, if that was even possible. “Fuck you’re so dirty, doll. My dirty doll, right?” he asked as he wrapped a handful of her hair against him and pulled her against him; her back against his chest and he could her chest heaving as she struggled to catch her breath.

Untying her bra, he tossed it on the floor and both his hands began to twist, pinch, pull, and flick on her nipples. Palming her breasts, he continued to spur him on with his words, “Who knew how much of a filthy princess you were huh? That you were really a slut wanting to get fucked?” she whined out loud and this prompted Bucky to sit down on the couch and drag her with him; ending up in a position that would allow her to ride him. “Ride me, bitch. Ride me ‘til we both cum,” he was surprised with how she eagerly responded to his command.

She leaned back and planted her hands on his abs and began to lift her body up and down, moving her pussy in and out of his cock. With one hand resting at the back of his head, the other was slapping her ass that was bouncing up and down on him. “Only a slut like yourself knows how to ride a cock this good, baby,” his statement ended with a groan as she stopped her bouncing and was instead sitting with his cock fully inside her, and she began to move in slow and hard circles. As if she was grinding on his dick.

“God, I’m so close, you got me near my edge, slut,” Bucky groaned and slapped both her ass cheeks at the same time, “Face me, baby. Turn around and face me, without leaving my cock.” He grinned as she halted her movements and twisted her body so she was greeted with the sight of Bucky’s chest sweaty and a smirk planted on his lips.

He sat up from his lying position and sat up so their chest were pressed firmly against each other, “Are you close, baby?” She threw her head back and nodded as Bucky began to move his hips so he could match the way she was sliding up and down his cock. Slapping her cheek, not too hard but enough to get her to look at him, he growled, “Tell me, princess. Tell me you’re close and that you wanna cum.”

Her mouth opened but a moan came out of her, he gave her a particularly harsh thrust and she finally gave in, “I wanna cum, Bucky, I need to. Please let me cum on your cock.” He smirked, satisfied with her answer and took control of the tempo of the way she was riding him. Holding on hard enough on her hips, enough to leave marks, he began to lift her up and down on him; he was lifting her up so fast that she barely had time to breathe and the way he slammed her was so hard he could hear their skin slapping against each other.

“You’re squeezing my cock so good, baby” Bucky groaned and he felt how close she was but needed added stimulation to let herself go. He lowered his mouth to cover her nipple with his lips; the sensation of licking and sucking hard on her nipple coupled with the cruel hip thrusts he was giving into her was enough for Y/N to grip on his shoulders and plant her lips on the top of his head, “Bucky, fuck,” was all she was able to let out as a warning for the orgasm that washed over her.

After feeling her juices drip down, there was something primal in him that made him more determined than ever to blow his load; so he removed his mouth from her nipple and laid her down on her back and moved to lift her legs, phishing them to her chest. “You gonna take my cum, baby? Gonna let me put it all in you?” He was thrusting violently, there was no rhythm but just him ruthlessly sliding his cock in and out of her tight canal, his mind was filled with images of her staying here with him, building a life together.

“Bucky, I’m so sensitive,” she squealed, and the man just smirked and to her surprise she just slammed his hips faster. He looks beautiful like this, she thought, but there was a part of her that thought she might explode if he continued his brutal assault on her body; and she was starting to get sleepy. Bucky slammed his cock all the way in until his balls were against her ass and stayed there, “Fuck, you’re such a good girl,” he moaned as he emptied his balls and shoved all his cream inside her.

He looked down on his precious angel and smiled at the sight of her with her eyes closed, running a finger to her face, just admiring her post-sex glow and the way she was all sweaty. He leaned down to kiss her on the forehead, “You did so well for me, baby.”

Without removing his cock from her, he moved to carry her, with ease he then brought both of them upstairs and into his room. Upon entering, he saw that Alpine was still lazily sleeping on the bed he got her and smiled, “I got you a mommy already, Al,” he whispered and felt himself harden again at the nickname he’d given the lovely girl in his arms.

Laying the both down, he wrapped both his arms around the sleeping beauty beside him and kissed her lips once more, “Welcome home, doll.”

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pinky-the-polar-bear · 3 years

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What's that? It's officially 2022 where I live? Fuck yeah! I know just how to kick off the new year: A list of resolutions! They are as follows:

Support my dear friends and acquaintances financially because I make a decent chunk of change now.

Obsess over fictional men.

Make horny content in more ways than one.

In general, just keep up the good vibes I've started when creating this blog.

2021 was a life-changing year for me. So much happened to me in those 12 months, many of which were fantastic.

January was the month my hyperfixation for HTF went to the next level. After years of not having a presence on social media, I contributed to a fandom once again by writing Bear Necessities and Just Guys Being Dudes.

In February, I completed my first draft of BN. Even with the hiatus I took from writing fanfiction, I still managed to pump out over 40,000 words with these fics. That's honestly amazing to think about. I was so dedicated to BN, and completing it was a remarkable feeling. Various additions and revisions were done throughout 2021, but I'm still proud of how my short DiscoPop novel came out. I remembered how much I loved writing, and seeing all the love my fics got filled me with such joy.

In March, after a year of having to do odd jobs for a living, I got my first traditional job at Pizza Hut. As glad as I am to be away from that job, those 3 and a half months I spent there gave me the experience I needed to find something better.

In July, I started working at the Domino's in my old town. It paid better, the conditions were better, and it gave me more experience on my resume. I was only there for 2 and a half months, but that's because something incredible happened.

In September, my mom and I moved out of our old town and into the city we live in now. We went from a shitty mobile home in a small town to a nice apartment in a city that's still growing. My mom found a job that paid well enough for her to live in our apartment alone. Regardless, we've planned for years about moving away from the mobile home my grandparents let us live in. Living the dream brought a sense of happiness we hadn't felt in years. And because the first Domino's I worked at was cool, they let me transfer to a Domino's in the city, so finding new work was a breeze. Unfortunately, I grew to hate this Domino's more than Pizza Hut. It was so bad, I didn't work the last day I said I'd work. I was so done with their bullshit at that point, and I was getting somewhere with my current job, so I just didn't go.

But while those issues were going on, I created this blog. Out of all the social media I've ever used, Tumblr has become my favorite. Sure, it's heavily flawed, and I gravely miss having a wider variety of adult content. However, I love how I can write this essay and have actual discussions here. The good thing about this site being less popular is that a lot of the extremists moved on to other sites. From what I've experienced, people on here are cool and thoughtful. Any vitriolic comments that wouldn't be out of place on Twitter are usually shut down pretty fast. And honestly, not having a character limit does this site wonders.

I met several people on here, several of them friendly acquaintances. Two in particular, however, became my friends. One is a trans man with the username @ghostypeppers, and the other is a nonbinary babby whose username is @northerngrail.

Ghosty approached me via DMs after I said DMing me was cool. Even with his uncertainty towards my personality, he grew to like me. And boy, did I like him too! In fact, I quickly set up a Discord after DMing on here for a while.

Not too long after, he encouraged me to approach Nyssa via DMs. He was positive they'd like me too, but they were too shy to approach me themselves. I took it upon myself to approach them since Ghosty gave me enough confidence to do what he did. Nyssa and I got along wonderfully too. I grew so confident that I set up our own Discord group. And we've been talking in there ever since.

I've known these guys for only more than 3 months, but I cherish them like they were my own siblings. I forgot what it was like having friends. Not gonna lie, that effected how much I was willing to share with them. They can confirm how much I spilled onto them early on. It was a lot for them to take at first, but ultimately, they forgave me. I'm thankful my trauma dumping didn't scare them away. I'm also thankful for how much they supported me when I felt like garbage. They made it easier to deal with my shitty job. And they're such a blast to be around. I could talk about whatever with them for hours. I anticipate all the fun things we'll do with each other in the future.

And finally, last month, I got hired at Walmart. It's my highest-paying job yet, and it's pretty decent working there. And the best part? It's within walking distance. Other than wanting a consistent schedule, I couldn't ask for better circumstances. I hope this becomes the first traditional job I work at for over a year. Or at least until I'm getting paid to do something I actually love. Whichever comes first.

So yeah, that's been my 2021 in a nutshell. Cheers to wonderful friends, friendly acquaintances, and hunky furries! *chugs Dr. Pepper*.

#pinky gets real

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tangledlove27 · 4 years

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Old Friends and New Beginnings

Part 3 to the Chosen Curves series

Part 1 Part 2

Summary: Things are changing for the better.

Pairing: Din x Female reader

Warnings: small injury, mild violence, and plenty of fluff with a little dirty talk

A/n: Thank @keeper0fthestars and @absurdthirst for your help with this fic

You stood at the bottom of the ladder blankly staring at the cockpit. The kid was down for a nap after the excitement at the bazaar earlier. It truly was not your fault the man had mistaken your kindness for something else, you had simply been trying to help another child find their family. After mispronounced words the man had pulled his blaster and fired. The shot had thankfully missed the baby entirely and grazed you, it was however enough to get your riduur’s attention. Din was by your side in a heartbeat calming everyone involved, he translated what your intentions had been and tensions quickly diffused. The mandalorian quickly pushed you back home when he had seen the blaster shot on your shoulder.

So here you stood longing for your husband, Din treated your burn and left without another word. Slowly you climbed up to him praying to the maker he was not still mad at you. He was your riduur through thick and thin and nothing could change that right? Making your way in, you stand with your back against the wall. “Din?” you try making your voice as tiny as possible hoping it's enough to keep him from yelling.

It never came, Din sat silently gathering his strength. “Please Din, I’m so sorry. Maker just don’t leave…” You never got to finish. The mandalorian was up and in front of you before you could mumble another word. He hesitated for a moment before grabbing the back of your neck and molding you to his chest. Armour long been removed he was soft and inviting. You clung to your best friend as if your life depended on his warmth. Tears flowed easy in these few moments, when an apology made its way to the tip of your tongue.

“Ner kar’ta I’m not mad at you, Maker I’m not mad at all. I was scared to death I had lost you and the kid today. And I do not know how I would have ever lived without you.” The child fast asleep below the two of you held fast to one another eventually moving to sit in the chair. Your riduur eased his hands over your back and buried his face in your neck. Both of you stayed like that till your sobs had slowed to mere hiccups.

“Din,” you sniffled, gathering your thoughts together for what you needed to say.

“Yes mesh’la?”

“I think I’m ready to have a baby with you.” Din’s head shot up from where he was pressing kisses to your favorite spot. His eyes became as big as the galaxy itself.

“Really cyare?” There was no hiding the surprised joy in his voice no matter how he tried.

“Really,” you swallow to try and wet your throat. “But we can barely take care of the green terror, I have no idea how we could for another.” Fresh tears are threatening to fall at the spiraling thoughts in your head.

“I think I have an idea, if you’re willing to listen.” Din began rubbing your back once again to keep your tears at bay.

“I’m all ears Din.”

“Well, come on mesh’la let’s go lay in our bunk and we can talk about this.” He says as he pats your behind to get you out of his lap. Ushering you into the bunk, Din takes his place and pulls you close to his chest. “This is something Paz Vizsla and I discussed the last time we were in the covert and I’ve been trying to figure out how to tell you about it.”

Worry evident on your face as you sat straight up in bed sending him a pleading look. “Din, what’s wrong? Please my love, you’re scaring me.”

The mandalorian quickly touched your cheek reassuring you nothing was wrong. “Oh no ner cyare. So sorry sweet one, wrong choice of words. No Paz’s son has come of age and much to his father’s dismay has wanted to follow in my path. Which means I could pull back as the tribe only beroya.” Once again you shot straight up but this look was far from the tears of the last one.

“Wait, why would you be scared to tell me something like that.”

“Riduur,” he chuckled at the glare from you. “Cort Vizsla only turned of age a couple months ago. And I wasn’t sure if you were ready to settle down in the covert just yet?”

“Are you kidding me,” you interrupted his never ending thoughts. “Of course I’m ready to stop this bullshit. Let someone else deal with this for a while.” The full body laugh that came from the body beneath you had you glaring once again.

“I love you cyar’ika.” He kissed your forehead then pulled the rest of you against his body. “We can talk more in the morning about all this, but tonight I need to feel you against me. I want to take care of you after what happened today.”

“Din,” you moaned at his words, hearing the promise underneath.

“Yes mesh’la?” His lust filled eyes met yours and both of you gasped when Din’s hand found your breast.

“Make love to me.” He held your breast for a moment longer before pushing back down on the bunk. Slowly he erased every memory of earlier events with each touch of your body. Lips fused together in passion and hands explored every inch of flesh they could reach. Din reached your stomach and stopped, taking his time relearning every single curve.

“Want me to make love to you cyare? Hmm?” His hands lingered on your midsection as he imagined what you would hopefully look like in the coming months

“Yes, yes Din please.” The lustful need in your voice went straight to his cock.

“Want me to take you apart like I did the first time ner kar’ta? Want me to put a baby in you mesh’la?” You frantically nod wanting to feel Din’s deep inside. He pushed himself up, removing his shirt and starting on his pants when he felt your hand graze his side. His hands stilling as he looked to the stars and moaned. “Riduur, please don’t stop.”

“Din…” Your answering moan was cut short by a panicked noise at the door. Din reached for the button on the panel and the sight before you broke your heart. “Oh sweetheart, did something scare you?” The child started running for you on the bunk when Din plucked him off the ground to your waiting arms, burying his face in your shoulder. “I take that as a yes?”

“Well it looks like someone is sleeping in here with us tonight.” Your riduur checked the floor for his missing shirt before you tossed it off your foot at him.

“There is no way I could put him back in his pram, something has completely spooked him. Just for tonight Din I promise.” You cuddled the baby as close to you as possible bringing him back from his nightmare.

“Alright cyar’ika, just for tonight.” The child nestled himself in between the pair of you and Din pulled you both close to him. He failed to protect you earlier in the day but he was going to make sure your dreams were a safe place right now.

“Love you Din.”

“Love you too Mesh’la.”

Next day…

After another long day you finally get the child off to bed and find yourself in the same spot as last night. This time however, you needed something entirely different.

Din had explained to you this morning about what was going to happen in the next couple months. Paz and Shial Vizsla had invited you to stay with them while Cort was working with Din. You were excited to learn more about their culture and where you would fit into the covert. Questions took over your thoughts as you climbed the ladder to find your riduur. Still lost in your mind when Din turns to look at you, he pulls you gently to his lap and wraps you in his arms.

“Cyare? Where’s that pretty head of yours at?” Din gently rubs your arms pulling you back to reality.

“Right here my love.” Kissing his cheek you give him that half smile that tells him you're worried about something.

“You’re going to do just fine at the covert mesh’la.” Din was always good at calming your nerves and you could never understand how he did it.

“How long will you be gone?”

“A few months mesh’la. I want to make sure Cort understands how this job works.”

You sat up a little straighter when you heard him say that. “Din, I understand that completely. I just wanted to know how long to distract myself for.”

“Paz and Shial will keep you plenty busy along with their other 4 kids running all over the place.” Panic sets in very quickly when you hear how many children the Vizslas have. “Cyare we do not have to have that many children.” He brought your head back down to his shoulder and resumed rubbing “Mhi ba’juri verde means we will raise warriors, whether it’s one or many I will be a very happy man.”

“Oh Din, I love you.” A single tear fell from your watery eyes but Din was quick to react as well.

“Ni kar’tayl gar darasuum, cyare.” Soon you both fell into a peaceful rest in the pilot's chair. You understood the next few months were gonna be rough, testing every limit you have. But in the end would be so worth it to have him by your side raising warriors.

Also tagging @stubbychaos @seawhisperer

Hope you guys enjoy

#the mandalorian x reader #Din Djarin/Reader #the mandalorian #the mandalorian x you #Pedro Pascal #pedro pascal character #din x female reader

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adorpheus · 4 years

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on fujoshi and fetishization

Lately, more and more, both here on tumblr and on other sites, I keep seeing people spew unfiltered hatred at fujoshi - that is, women who like mlm content such as gay fanfic and fanart featuring men with other men. And I don’t mean like a specific type of fujoshi, like the ones who are genuinely being weird about it, but just like a general hatred for girls (but especially straight identifying girls) who express love for gay romance.

I hate to break this to you all, but women (including straight women!) actually are allowed to like mlm fanfiction and fanart, even enthusiastically so. A woman simply expressing her love of gay fanfic, even if it is in kind of a cringey way or a way that you personally don’t like, is NOT automatically fetishization.

I’ve been on the receiving end of fetishization for my entire life, from a very young age, as many black and brown folx have, so I consider myself pretty well acquainted with how it works. Fetishization isn’t just like, being really into drawings of boys kissing, or whatever the fuck y’all are trying to imply on this god forsaken site.

Fetishization is complicated imo, and can encompass a lot of things, such as (but not limited to):

1 - dehumanization, e.g. viewing a group of people as sexual objects who exist purely for entertainment purposes, rather than acknowledging them as actual people who deserve respect and rights

and

2 - projecting certain assumptions onto said people based on their race/sexuality/whatever is being fetishized. These assumptions are often, but not always, sexual in nature (like the idea that black people in general are more sexual than other races, etc etc etc).

I’m going to use myself as an example to illustrate my point. Please note this isn’t the best or most nuanced example, but it is the most simplistic. A white person finding me attractive and respectfully appreciating my black features as part of what makes me beautiful is not, on its own, fetishization. A white person finding me attractive solely or mostly because I’m a PoC is now in fetishization territory. Similarly, assuming I’m dominant because of my blackness (like saying “step on me mommy” and shit like that) is hella fetishistic.

That being said, theres definitely a difference between how fetishization works in real life with real people, and how it shows up in fandom.

Fetishization manifests in many different ways in fandom, but most commonly on the mlm side of things, I personally see it appear as conservative (or centrist) women who love the idea of two men together, but don’t actually like gay people, and don’t necessarily think LGBT+ people deserve rights (or “special treatment” as its sometimes dog whistled). These women view queer men as sexual objects for entertainment rather than an actual group of people who deserve to be protected from systemic oppression. I’ve noticed that they often don’t even think of the men they “ship” together as actually being gay, and may even express disgust at the idea of a character in an mlm ship being headcanon’d gay. In case its not obvious, this is pretty much exactly the same way a lot of cishet men fetishize lesbians (they see “lesbian” as a porn category, rather than like, what actual LGBT people think of when we read the word lesbian). There’s a pretty popular viral tweet thread going around where someone explains seeing this trend of conservative women who like mlm stuff, and I have also personally witnessed this phenomenon myself in more than one fandom.

The funny thing is, maybe its just me buuuut.... The place I see this particular kind of fetishization happen most is not in the anime/BL fandom, from which the term fujoshi originates - I actually see these type of women way way more in western fandom spaces like Supernatural, Harry Potter, and Hannibal. I can’t stress this enough, there’s a shocking amount of people who are like, straight up trump supporters in these fandoms. If you want to experience it, try joining a Hannigram or Destiel group on facebook and you will probably encounter one eventually especially if you happen to be living through a major historical event. Like these women probably wouldn’t even be considered “fujoshi”, because that term doesn’t really apply to them given they aren’t in the BL/anime fandom, yet they’re the ones I personally see actually doing the most harm.

Of course this isn’t the ONLY kind of fetishizing woman in the mlm/BL world, there are other ways fetishization shows up, but this is the most toxic kind that I see.

A girl just being really into BL or whatever may be “cringe” to you, or she may be expressing her love for BL in a “cringey” way, but a straight woman really enjoying BL is not, on its own, somehow inherently fetishization. Yes, sometimes teenage girls act kind of cringe about how much they like BL and that might be annoying to you, but its not necessarily ~problematic~.

That being said, IT NEEDS BE REMARKED that a lot of the “fujoshi” that you all hate so deeply, are actually closeted trans men or nonbinary people who haven’t yet come to terms with their gender identity, or are otherwise just NOT cishet. I know because I was one of these closeted people for years, and I honestly think tumblr and the cultural obsession around purity is one of the many reasons I was closeted so deeply for so long. STORYTIME LOL!!! In my early adolescence, I was a sort of proto “fujoshi”. I identified as a bi girl who was mostly attracted to men, or as most (biphobic) people called it, “practically straight”. I wrote and read “slash” fanfic and looked at as well as drew my own fanart. We didn’t use the term fujoshi back then, but that’s definitely how I could have been described. I was obsessed with yaoi, BL, whatever you want to call it, to a cringe-inducing degree. I really struggled to relate to most het romances, so when I first discovered yaoi fanfics (as we called them at the time), I fell in love and felt like I finally found the type of romance content that was made for me. I didn’t know exactly why, I just knew it hit different. LGBT+ fanart and fanfiction brought me an immense amount of joy, and I didn’t really think too hard about why.

At some point, in my early 20s, after reading lots of discourse™ here on tumblr and other places like twitter, I started to get the sinking feeling that my passion for gay fanfiction was ~problematic~. I had always felt a sense of guilt for being into mlm content, because literally anyone who found out I liked BL (especially the men I dated) shamed me for liking it all the fucking time (which btw is literally just homophobic, like can we talk about that?). In addition to THAT bullshit, now I’m seeing posts telling me that girls who like BL are cringey gross fetishists who inspire rage and should go die?

Let me tell you, I internalized the fuck out of messages like this. I desperately wanted to avoid being ~problematic~. At the time, I thought being problematic was like the worst thing you could be. I was terrified of being “cancelled”, before canceling was even really a thing. I thought to myself, “oh my god, I’m gross for liking this stuff? I should stop.” I beat myself up over this. I wanted so badly to be accepted, and to be deemed a Good Person by the internet and society at large.

I tried to shape up and become a good ally (lmfao). I stopped writing fanfic and deleted all the ones I was working on at the time. I made a concerted effort to assimilate into cishet culture, including trying to indulge myself more deeply in the few fandoms I could find that had het content I did enjoy (Buffy, True Blood, Pretty Little Liars, etc). I would occasionally look at BL/fanfic/etc in private, but then I would repress my interest in it and not look for a while. Instead I would look at women in straight relationships, and create extremely heterosexual Couple Goals pinterest boards, and try to figure out how I could become more like these women, so I, too, could be loved someday.

This cycle of repression lasted like eight years. Throughout it all, I was performing womanhood to the best of my ability and trying to become a woman that was worthy of being in a relationship. I went in and out of several “straight” relationships, wondering why they didn’t make me feel the way reading fanfic did. Most of all, I couldn’t figure out why straight intimacy didn’t work for me. I just didn’t enjoy it. I always preferred looking at or making gay fanfiction/fanart over actual intimacy with men in real life.

Eventually, I stumbled upon a trans coming out video that someone I was following posted online, my egg started to crack, and to make an extremely long story short, after like 3 years of introspection and many gender panic attacks that I still experience to this day, I realized that I’m uh... MAYBE... NOT CIS..!? :|

I truly believe if I had just been ALLOWED TO LIKE GAY STUFF WITHOUT BEING SHAMED FOR IT, I probably would have realized I was trans way way sooner. Because for me, indulging in my love of gay romance and writing gay fanfic wasn’t me being a weirdo fetishist, it was actually me exploring my own gender identity. It is what helped me come to terms with being a nonbinary trans boy.

Not everyone realizes they are trans at age 2 or whatever the fuck. Sometimes you have to go through a cringey fujoshi phase and multiple existential crises to realize how fucking gay you are AND THATS FINE.

And one more thing - can we just be real here?

A lot of anti-fujoshi sentiment is literally just misogyny. omg please realize this. Its “women aren’t allowed to enjoy things” but, like... with gay fanfics. Some of the anti-fujoshi posts I see come across my dash are clearly ppl projecting a caricature they invented in their head of a demonic fujoshi fetishist onto any woman who expresses what they consider to be a little too much enthusiasm for gay content and then using their perception of that individual as an excuse to justify their disdain for any women, especially straight women, ‘invading’ their ~oh so exclusive~ queer fandom spaces.

god get over yrselfs this is gatekeeping by another name

idk why i spent so long writing this no one is even going to read it, does anyone even still use this site

*EDIT: HOLY SHIT WHEN DOING RESEARCH FOR THIS POST I FOUND OUT THAT Y-GALLERY IS BACK OMG!!!

#rant #fujoshi #I SAID WHAT I SAID #personal #gender stuff

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imaginingmarvelandeverything · 4 years

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The Cabin

Pairing: Billy Hargrove x Reader

Warnings: Spoilers for season 3

Word Count: 4299

A/N: So, here is part 20 of Nightmares and Bruises. I’ve only got one exam left and then I’ve officially finished my first year of uni!! That means that after the 26th, I’m going to try and attempt to get back into posting at least one, if not more, chapter a week. This one is really long and most of it is probably waffle, so I apologise. The taglist is open so drop me an ask or a comment! I won’t reply to comments because this is a side blog but know that I see and read them all.

Series Masterlist

Masterlist

After everything that happened at the hospital, they all realised they were up against a lot more than they could ever have imagined. They came to the decision that Jonathan would drive Y/N’s car, because she was in no shape to drive, and would take Y/N, Will and El to Y/N’s house so she could change, as Nancy took the others to her so she could change too. Then they would all meet up at Hopper’s cabin to figure out where they were going to go from here.

The Jonathan, Y/N, EL and Will arrived first and El had just finished getting changed when Nancy pulled up outside. As they walked in, Nancy handed El a bingo pamphlet with Mrs Driscoll’s picture on it and a picture of Bruce from the newspaper. Y/N handed over a family picture she had picked up in the Holloway’s house and the strip of photobooth pictures that had fallen out of Billy’s locker. Then they set everything up as usual in El’s room and left her to it.

“It can’t be good for her to be in there for this long.” Mike exclaimed after about fifteen minutes, gesturing towards El’s closed door as he paced back and forth in the living room.

“Mike, you need to relax.” Max rested her arms on her knees as she rocked her heels back and forth while sat in one of the arm chairs.

“What if she gets brain damage or something?” Mike countered.

“Oh shit! Is that, like, a real thing?” Lucas asked, taking a break from eating Honey Smacks straight from the box as he leaned back on the sofa.

Max rolled her eyes. “No, it’s not. He made it up. Mike doesn’t know what the hell he’s talking about.”

“Oh! And you do?” Mike stopped his pacing to face her.

“No, I-…” Max tried to come up with an answer.

Y/N stopped paying attention to their bickering as Nancy started another conversation on the phone.

“Yes, from The Hawkins Post. I-I called a couple of days ago about the… Yes, yes. Um, I was just following up to see if anything else had gone missing, or if…Okay. Um, sorry to bother you.” She slammed the phone back on the stand as Max and Mike continued to argue.

“You okay?”

It took Y/N a minute to realise that Jonathan was talking to her.

“I’m going to take that as a no.” Jonathan smiled and leant on the opposite side of the kitchen island from where her and Will were sitting.

Y/N tried to return it. “It’s just… Everything’s all over the place. The last two times we’ve had some direction but this time… I’m worried about Billy.” She bit her lip and looked at the ceiling to try and stop another set of tears falling.

“We’ll figure it out. Alright? We always do.” He smiled again before Nancy walked over.

“Who’s next?”

“There is no next. Unless you want to start calling random people’s homes.” Jonathan told her as he crossed out the place she’d just called in the phone book.

“It doesn’t make sense!” Nancy said, throwing her notebook down on the kitchen island.

“What part of any of this makes any sense?” Y/N asked, suddenly very aware of the pain in her shoulders. She reached into her bag and took another couple of painkillers with the glass of water Jonathan had given her a while ago.

“There’s a pattern, okay? A consistency to their behaviour.” Nancy looked between the three of them sat in the kitchen. “They’ve been feeding on these chemicals since this started, and-and what? They just stop, out of the blue?”

“Maybe they have all the chemicals they need.” Will spoke up. “Maybe they’ve all turned into those… things.”

“But what about the source? I mean, did the mind flayer just suddenly stop infecting people? And even if the flayed are monsters now, why can’t El find of them?” Nancy rattled off.

“Okay, can you guys settle an argument for us?” Max walked into the kitchen with Mike behind her. “Who do you think should decide El’s limits? Mike, or Eleven?”

“The way that you frame that is such bullshit!” Mike said.

Y/N stood up and walked over to the window. She couldn’t deal with any more arguing. She just wanted answers. She just wanted Billy back.

“What’s going on?” EL’s voice brought everyone out of their various states as they all turned to look at her.

“Nothing! Nothing.” Mike said a little too quickly.

“Just a family discussion.” Lucas added.

“Oh. I found him.” El said.

“Found who?” Y/N walked back over to everyone.

El looked directly at her. “Billy.”

Y/N felt her heart stop. “Where is he?”

“At his house.” EL told her.

She grabbed her car keys and had almost made it to the door when Nancy grabbed her unbroken arm.

“Where are you going?”

“To go see him. He’s still in there Nancy, I can bring him back, I know I can.”

“He nearly killed you, Y/N. Twice from what I can tell. We need more information before we go charging into anything.” Nancy’s grip was firm as she raised her eyebrows, daring Y/N to challenge her.

“Fine, but he only tried to kill me once, the crash was an accident.” Y/N put her keys back in her pocket and let Nancy drag her back into the living room area. Everyone was sat around El, who was sat cross legged in front of the static TV again. When Nancy and Y/N were settled, she tied the bandana around her head again.

It was around five minutes later that she ripped the blindfold back off.

“What’s he doing now?” Max asked as El stood up and walked into the kitchen.

“He’s just sitting, in his room.” El grabbed a glass, filled it with water and then gulped down the whole thing.

“And that’s not normal right?” Nancy asked, her eyes drifting from Max to Y/N.

“Billy staying in his room on the fourth of July? No, that’s not normal.” Max said.

“We were supposed to be going to the fair.” Y/N remembered, even though she knew that was never going to happen right now. She ignored the pain piercing her heart and tried to analyse the situation. “He wants us to find him.”

“Yeah, that’s what I was afraid of.” Nancy said, looking directly at Y/N. “If we go to Billy, then the rest of the flayed know where we are.”

“It’s a trap, I agree. We’ll be ambushed.” Mike chimed in.

“We won’t be surprised. We’ll know that they’re coming and we’ll kick their flayed butts.” Lucas said with sheer confidence.

“You mean El will kick their butts.” Max reminded him.

“It’s too risky.” Mike said

“Yeah, and unnecessary.” Nancy backed up her brother. “Killing the flayed won’t kill the mind flayer. We have to find out where it’s spreading from and top it. We have to find the source.”

“Which only one of us has visited, and I can’t even remember it.” Y/N reminded them.

“Billy knows it.” El said. “Billy’s been there. To the source. He was awake, after the crash?”

Y/N nodded. “Yeah, he was. He was covered in dirt and grime and really panicked when I came too in the car. Looked like he’d been dragged across the floor.”

“Yeah, but-” Mike started.

“It’s a trap.” El finished. “I know. We can’t go to Billy, but I think there’s another way. A way for me to see where he’s been.”

They got everything set up again in the living room. Mike tried to talk her out of it one more time before she went in, but she assured him she would be fine.

Billy sat on his bed with his hands resting on his knees. His eyes were trained straight ahead at his bedroom wall. As El walked closer she could see the cuts from the sauna test seemed to be an even darker shade of black than before. He was still in the white vest and jeans from the hospital. She took shuddering breaths as she got close enough to truly see him. Y/N had been right. His eyes were pained, but the rest of his face and body language was neutral.

El reached forward and took his hand. He didn’t even seem to notice as she lifted his arm up. The scratches Y/N had left at the hospital were littered down his forearm. They had all turned black too.

“Billy?” El spoke softly. “Can you hear me? I want to see. I want to see what happened.”

That seemed to get through to him. He raised his gaze to meet hers. His eyes were glassy with unushered tears. But then his face went hard and he grabbed El’s forearm in a vice like grip. She started to panic as she tried to pull her arm from his grip.

El’s breathing was increasing sharply and none of them knew why.

“Something’s wrong!” Mike said, but no one made any attempt to move; none of them knew what to do.

El fought harder and harder to try and pull her arm out of Billy’s grip. But he held fast.

“Stop! No! No! No! No! NO!” El screamed as she managed to yank her arm back. But in doing so, she sent herself falling backwards.

It felt like she was falling in slow motion. As she fell there were flashes. Flashes of memory. The sauna test. The mind flayer. Y/N pushing her out of the way before Billy’s hand could close around her throat. The mind flayer. Heather’s parents being taken and flayed. The mind flayer. Billy standing over Heather in the basement. The mind flayer. Billy watching them leave the Holloway’s after they had interrupted dinner. The mind flayer. Heather in the ice bath at his house. The mind flayer. Heather being dragged down. The mind flayer. Billy being flayed. Billy flaying Heather. Billy being dragged down into the basement. The mind flayer. The crash.

She hit the floor and was immediately engulfed by a wave. She pushed herself onto her front as she looked around. She was no longer in the upside down, well, not the one she was used to. She was on a beach. She looked to the side as a flock of seagulls took off into the air, cawing to each other as they did so. She struggled to her feet and looked around in confusion.

“El? Are you okay?” Mike was getting worried.

She let out a shaky breath. “I’m okay.”

Everyone released the breathes they had been holding.

“What’s going on?” Mike pressed.

“I’m… On a beach.” She sounded as confused as everyone felt.

“Okay, I may be dense, but the last time I checked, there weren’t any beaches in Hawkins.” Lucas said.

“What else do you see?” Max asked.

As El looked around again, a woman came into focus. She was tall, blonde and beautiful. She was wearing a long white swimsuit cover and had a pair of yellow sandals and a straw sunhat in her hand.

“A woman. She’s… Pretty.” El smiled. “I… I think she’s looking at me.”

The woman smiled in El’s direction and started to wave. “Whooo! Yeah!”

It was then that El noticed the woman was looking behind her. A boy, somewhere between ten and twelve, came running out of the sea with a surf board under his arm. He dropped the board in the sand and ran up to the woman.

“You did it!” She exclaimed as he reached her.

“There’s… A boy.” El told them.

“Did you see that?” The boy asked.

“Yeah, I saw that!” The woman replied before resting her hand on the back of his head and kissing his forehead.

“That was at least seven feet!” It was easy to see the excitement in the boy’s eyes and face.

“I don’t know what it was, but it almost gave me a heart attack.” The woman smiled again.

“Ten more minutes?” The boy asked.

The woman tried to keep her face happy, but there was worry in her eyes. “Yeah, okay, ten more minutes.”

“Okay!” The boy raced back to his surf board with a smile on his face.

“But any longer than that, dad’s going to be mad, okay?” There was an edge of panic to her voice.

“Okay!” The boy was too busy in his element to notice it.

“Billy?” The woman called out as El’s eyes went wide. “Watch out for rip currents!”

“I know!” Billy called as he ran into the sea.

“It’s Billy.” El said.

“It’s California.” Max realised. “It’s a memory.”

Y/N reached over and took her hand. The red head looked up at her and squeezed her hand back as she noticed the older girl’s eyes getting glassy.

El watched from the beach as Billy paddled his surf board back out away from the shore. But her eyes were drawn away by the distant rumbling of thunder and flashes of red lightning.

“I think I see it.” El said. “The source.”

Everyone looked at each other and sat up straighter.

The sky above the beach was clear, but in the distance, dark clouds, tinged with red were forming. El cast one more look out to sea before setting off towards where the clouds had formed. The closer she got, the more the wind seemed to pick up, until it was whipping around her.

“Hey! Billy, stop!” A man’s voice screamed over the wind.

El turned to look as the young Billy walked towards her. He was in full baseball gear and the man was storming after him, baseball bat held under his arm.

“What the hell is wrong with you!” Neil caught up to him and grabbed his arm, hard. “What did we talk about, huh? You gotta slide!”

“I-I-I Know.” Billy stammered.

“Wait, afraid you’re gonna get hurt, is that it?” Neil scoffed.

“No!” The panic in Billy’s voice was building.

“Well, what then? What?” Neil’s voice was getting louder. “What did I raise, a pussy for a son?”

“Leave me alone!” Billy ripped his arm from Neil’s grip and started running.

“Hey! That’s right, run! Like you always do!” Neil screamed after him.

El started after Billy, turning to glare at Neil as she passed. The wind was getting even stronger and the clouds were swirling around her.

“Where were you last night? Where were you?” El couldn’t pinpoint where Neil’s voice was coming from due to the clouds.

“I told you, I was with Wendy!” Billy’s mom shouted back.

“Stop lying to me!”

“I’m not lying to you!”

“You saw him again, didn’t you?” Neil finally came into view. He was gripping Billy’s mom’s arm as Billy sat at the kitchen table, watching everything unfold. “Didn’t you!”

Billy’s mom ripped her arm back and pushed Neil back. “Get away from me! I said get away!” She threw a plate as Neil tried to get close again.

“You- you whore!” There was venom dripping from Neil’s voice.

“Stop it!” Billy screamed as he got in between his parents.

“Bitch!” Neil moved towards Billy’s mom.

“Don’t hurt her!” Billy grabbed Neil’s waist and tried to push him back.

“No!” Billy’s mom screamed.

“Don’t hurt her!” Billy said again.

“You bastard!” Billy’s mom shouted as Neil threw Billy to the floor and punched Billy’s mom in the face.

“Mom!” Billy screamed as he got back to his feet.

“I don’t understand. Why not?” It was Billy’s voice again but it wasn’t coming from the scene in front of El. She spun around and tried to find the source in the clouds. “Please, mom, don’t do this. Please come home.” Billy pleaded. El caught sight of him sat on the floor, leaning against a bed with the phone to his ear. “No, how long? How long! I miss you.” Billy was getting more desperate as sobs racked through his chest.

“Get back here!”

El turned to try and find the source of the new voice. Her eyes landed on a young teenage Billy on top of another teenage boy. Billy was repeatedly punching the other kid in the face.

“Get up! What, are you scared to fight me?” Billy yelled at the boy. “You scared? Get up and fight me, pussy. Pussy!”

El watched with glassy eyes as the sweet boy from the beach began to change into an unrecognisable person.

“Billy, come over here. I want you to meet someone.” Neil came back into focus. He was walking towards Billy, with his hand on a young Max’s shoulder. “This is your new sister. Her name’s Maxine.”

“Max.” Max corrected him.

“Shake her hand.”

The clouds suddenly broke. El found herself face to face with Y/N.

“Y/N?” El muttered.

“What is it?” Y/N shifted forward.

“I can see you. You-You’re walking down a road. It’s night. You’re… Alone.”

Y/N’s voice caught in her throat. “That… That’s the night we met.”

El watched as Y/N pushed her hands further in her hoodie’s pocket. She was clearly cold. She jumped as a car engine cut through the calm night air. El watched as she moved to the side to let the car go past. To El’s surprise the car pulled up.

“Y/N, right?” Billy was smiling, but there was a bruise forming under his left cheekbone.

Y/N nodded.

“What you doing out this late in the cold, princess?”

“Couldn’t sleep.” Y/N shrugged as Billy’s eyes surveyed her shivering figure.

“Want to come for a drive? I’d rather not leave you out here in the cold.” He reached over and opened the passenger side door without waiting for an answer. “You shouldn’t be out here alone, it’s dangerous.”

As Y/N got into the car the clouds descended again. El spun and found Y/N kneeling in front of Billy with tears streaming down her cheeks and her hands gripping his shirt. Billy was bloody and beaten and there were tears in his eyes too. Steve was on the floor behind Y/N, not moving.

“Stop, don’t become your dad. Billy please.” Y/N pleaded with him. “I meant what I said; I love you.”

“You can’t just say that and then disappear with someone else!” Billy’s voice was broken.

The clouds vanished again and El found herself stood in Billy’s room. Y/N was leaning over the side of his bed, looking through the paperbacks that she had pulled out from under his bed. Billy was laid behind her on the bed, holding a book above him as he read it. El had never seen either of them so calm.

“Hey, what’s this?” Y/N’s fingers gripped the spine of a very beat up copy of The Catcher in the Rye. She sat up on the bed and opened the book; photographs falling out as she did.

“I didn’t know where else to put them.” Billy put his book down and sat up next to her. He rested his weight on his left arm, next to her hip as he rested his head on her shoulder and reached for the top picture.

El moved closer to get a look. Most of the pictures were of Y/N and Billy, a few of just Y/N, but there was one of Billy and his mom. Y/N picked that one up. Billy noticed her looking at it.

“That was just before she left.” His voice dropped almost to a whisper.

“I’m not going anywhere, you know that, right?” Y/N turned to look at him.

He moved his hand to her face and brushed his thumb over her cheekbone. “I know. I promise we’ll never be like that; I won’t be like him. I will never hurt you; I promise.” He leaned forward and kissed her. Her hands moved to his hair before he pulled back and rested his forehead on hers. “I promise.”

“Who’s there?” The clouds engulfed everything again as Billy shouted.

“I’m not going anywhere.” Y/N’s voice rang out.

El spun around in circles but couldn’t see either of them.

“I said who’s there!” Billy screamed as he was pulled to the ground.

But El still couldn’t see him. She pushed through the clouds as the wind picked back up. She had to raise her arm to protect her eyes. Billy continued screaming as El could finally make out the Camaro’s headlights. She started moving faster as the screaming got louder. But it suddenly stopped as she broke through into the eye of the storm. She looked around at the old steelworks and saw the Camaro against one of the walls. The lightning and thunder picked up again as she walked towards the main building.

“I think I found it. The source.” El said as all the others leaned forward.

“Where El? Where are you?” Max asked.

“Brimborn… Steelworks.”

Jonathan shot to his feet and ran over to the kitchen island. When he came back, he was clutching the phone book in his hand. “Here. Okay, uh, steelworks, steelworks.” He started flicking through the pages as Nancy got up to join him. “Here steel. Uh, found it! 6522 Cherry Oak Drive.”

“That’s close.” Nancy said.

“El, El, we found it. Get out of there. Get out!” Mike said.

El heard him but as she closed her eyes, she felt herself falling back up. As she did, she saw the crash, she saw Billy trying to wake Y/N up, saw him getting dragged into the basement. She saw Heather again, and everything that had happened to her, and everything else she had seen while she was falling, just in reverse.

El ripped the blindfold off and looked around the cabin, only to find that she was alone. “Mike? Mike?” She didn’t understand where everyone could have gone when Mike was just speaking. She pushed herself to her feet as she started to panic. “Mike! Mike! Mike!”

“He can’t hear you.”

El spun around to try and find the source of the voice. Her eyes landed on her open bedroom door as a shadow appeared on the wood, before Billy stepped into view. El took a step back on reflex as he paused in the door way.

“You shouldn’t have looked for me.” It was the same as before, his voice seemed to have an edge, like multiple people were talking at once. “Because now I see you.” He crushed his cigarette in the ashtray on the hall table as he started towards El. “Now we all see you.”

El started backing up, panic clawing up her throat as she looked at the boy who was so broken and alone. Who had finally managed to catch a break but the world seemed determined to not let him have it.

“You, let us in and now, you are going to have to let us stay.” Billy kept advancing as El took steps back. It was then she noticed his eyes and recalled what Y/N had said. Tears were forming along his lash lines. Billy, the real Billy, was still in there, watching all of this and fighting so hard to break free.

“Don’t you see? All this time, we’ve been building it.”

El could no longer hold in the sobs that racked through her chest. She didn’t know how to get out.

“We’ve been building it, for you.” The tears finally began to fall. He was in pain.

“What are you doing?” Mike shouted as Y/N moved towards El. “You can’t touch her when she’s in there!”

“We have to do something! Look at her! I have to try!”

El felt something grasp her hand and when she looked up, Y/N was standing next to her. Y/N’s eyes grew wide as she looked around the cabin and then met Billy’s eyes.

“Billy?” Her voice was soft and pained.

The mind flayer didn’t seem phased, but there was a slight change in Billy’s eyes as he looked at her. El tugged Y/N back as Billy carried on towards him.

“All that work, all that pain, all of it, for you.”

El and Y/N hit the kitchen island and Y/N pulled her to the side. But they were running out of room to move.

“El, you have to do something.” Y/N’s eyes never left Billy as she felt tears starting to fall down her own cheeks. El didn’t appear to have heard her over her own sobbing and focus on Billy.

“And now, it’s time. Time to end it. And we’re going to end you. And when you are gone, we’re going to end her,” Billy’s gaze moved back to Y/N, who gripped El’s hand tighter. “and all of your friends.”

“No!” El screamed.

“And then we are going to end everyone.”

El finally snapped out of it and threw up the hand that wasn’t holding Y/N’s. “GET AWAY!”

Billy was thrown backwards.

“NOOOOOO!” El screamed as she ripped the actual bandana off.

Y/N fell back, breathing hard, as Mike grabbed El and pulled her into him. Nancy and Jonathan grabbed hold of Y/N’s arms and pulled her up.

“What happened?” Nancy asked.

Part 21

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#Billy Hargrove #billy hargrove x reader #billy hargrove imagine #nightmares and bruises #dacre montgomery #dacre montgomery imagine #Nancy Wheeler #jonathan byers #mike wheeler #eleven #Max Mayfield #Lucas Sinclair #will byers #stranger things #stranger things 2 #stranger things 3 #imagine #x reader

268 notes · View notes

isthatbloodonhisshirt · 4 years

Note

If you could change ten things about Teen Wolf what would you change??

OMG BUCKLE DOWN BECAUSE IT’S GONNA BE A LONG ONE! Do asks have a word limit? Guess we gonna find out! (Sometimes I wish I could speak these replies, they sound much funnier when I am speaking out loud to myself and then they are just weird and flat typed up but I DIGRESS! I do that a lot, have you noticed? Doesn’t matter.)

(Also, I did put a “Keep Reading” but for some reason it’s not working. Or it’s not showing as working on my end. But it’s right under this paragraph I swear so if it’s not working, that isn’t on me....)

1) SO! Trauma. People be dealing with their traumas. That’d be a thing I’d like, thank you. Like, I’m sorry, but there is a fuckton of trauma in this show and everyone like, goes to bed at night and wakes up cured. Like MAGIC! I mean, yes, I get that magic is a thing in the show (is it? I mean kind of? Idk, I never saw past season 4, they alluded to magic and then SNATCHED THAT AWAY so, side-note, that’s coming up later!) But yes, I would’ve very much liked for people to, you know, deal with their traumas in a realistic fashion. Let’s get some therapy going, or like, idk, some actual negative reactions to thing! They kind of had that with Stiles every now and then, but he seemed to be up and down episode to episode so like, it’d be like they wrote an episode where he reacts to what happened to him and then four episodes have gone by where he’s fine and the writers were like “OH YEAH SHIT HE JUST MURDERED LIKE A WHOLE HOSPITAL, make him have a panic attack randomly over dropping milk, that balances out, excellent, we’re so smart.” So yes. DEAL. WITH. THE. TRAUMA! Thanks.

2) LESS CHARACTERS, MORE DEVELOPMENT! I mentioned this in another recent ask about relationships but like, they just kept shoving characters in there. Like one of those clown cars. So we got like, 30% character development on the core group and then the rest was like “wait, who are you again?” Like, legit, I have a bad memory, you put too many people in front of me, I ain’t gonna remember them unless they have a good personality or a reason to be there. And like, develop their relationships! Not even romantically, but like, Scott’s mom loves Scott, that is sweet and lovely, but like, we never really… see… that… developed? Idk man, like again, I have a bad memory, but when you really develop relationships WELL (ex: Brooklyn-nine-nine), that shit sticks with you and you CARE about people. The friendships are important, and the familial relationships are important and just developing all the dynamics is important! They spent more time showcasing how much everyone hated each other and lied to each other and stuff and that just got really tiring. Yes, you’re allowed to get mad at your friends, but if you’re a Werewolf, and your human friend is calling you when there is a fucking monster running around killing people, can you maybe stop making out with your girlfriend and answer your phone so your friend isn’t treading water with a 200+ pound Werewolf for 2 hours? Like, JUST SAYING! (Spoiler alert: Me and Scott would not be close friends. Like, I think we’d be friends, but not so much that I’d trust him with my life. If I wanted to grab pizza and a movie, maybe play some video games, he sounds like a treat, but if my life was in danger, thanks I be callin’ someone who answers their phone).

3) Actual consequences for their actions! Okay like, I am also guilty of this in fanfic, but at the same time, my writing is free, I don’t get paid for it, and I write what I want because that’s how it works, so I can do whatever I please (If I wanna make the Hales royalty for the millionth time, ain’t nobody gonna stop me!). But like, when you are a legit paid screenwriter who is writing a show? Consequences! Just because it’s a show about Werewolves doesn’t mean there can’t be any consequences! Like, the best scene, and I feel like we can agree, because fuck it like, hurt my soul and my heart and I was just so like ;~; was when the sheriff got fired (fired? suspended? TEMPORARILY UNEMPLOYED!) because Stiles stole a police van when they locked Jackson up in it. Like, that shit was REAL LIFE CONSEQUENCES for actions, and that shit was intense and it HURT and omg I loved it! Give me more of that! Like, I’m sorry, but you gonna tell me Nogistune!Stiles walked through the hospital murdering a bazillion people and not one camera was working the whole time? Not one? Nobody saw that? Nobody went “hey, isn’t that the sheriff’s kid?” Like, CAN. YOU. IMAGINE?! That would’ve been so amazing, a bunch of episodes of the pack scrambling to keep the Supernatural a secret while also trying to stop Stiles from GETTING ARRESTED because saying “Sorry ma’am, I was possessed by a demon fox who likes chaos and thought murdering a bunch of people would be fun” ain’t gonna fly in court and the FBI sure isn’t gonna believe that but like, UGH! Again, bad memory, but was the fact that Dark!Stiles wandered through the hospital killing people EVER brought up again???? CONSEQUENCES. Woulda really liked that.

4) STOP with unnecessary romances. Like, yeah, I get it, the allos like their romances, but shockingly, you can still have a good show without focussing on the romance. Like, it can be there, I’m not saying don’t put it in, I’m saying DON’T MAKE IT THE MOST IMPORTANT THING! Like, the entirety of season one was Scott chasing Allison and Stiles chasing Lydia. This… this does not make an interesting show? Like, is that just me? And then as the season progressed, EVERYONE had to be in a relationship? WHY? Again, haven’t seen past season four, but I mean, I know Scott and Kira were a thing, and then Stiles and Malia, and Liam and some… person? Idk. And Ethan and Danny (congrats Jeff, you get to tick your “I had representation in my show!” box, well done, gold star, or whatever). And Isaac and Allison, and Melissa and Chris (apparently?). And then Stydia was alluded as being canon, and Scott ended up with Malia somehow?? And Derek slept with half the town and all of Mexico, idek. Like, stop it. Stop. Shows work without everything being about everyone banging each other. (See again: Brooklyn-nine-nine, or Avatar the Last Airbender, or The Good Place, or even fucking Supernatural!) You can have a good, interesting story without everyone banging each other. It ain’t necessary.

5) More actual storytelling (again, this woulda worked better without the unnecessary romances taking up 49 of the 50 minutes of air-time). Like, yes, I get it, pilot’s gotta have some pizzaz! Gotta be spicy and sparkly to make people interested (and like, fucking hell, all I can remember of the pilot is sobbing Allison soaking wet–LIKE, WAS THAT NECESSARY???–about the dog she hit and oh noes is it dead well thank God the lead character works for a vet! And somehow has keys and access to the whole clinic like nbd at all hours? Whatever. I wasn’t even allowed inside my blockbuster as a shift lead if it was off-hours but apparently a high school student doing paperwork at a vet clinic is different, I’m not a vet so what do I know? I HAD A BAD DAY OKAY, I GOT FEELINGS ABOUT THIS RN!) I went off-topic, what was I saying? Oh yes, storytelling. You know what woulda been nice? Werewolves! It happens, we find out about Laura, we find out about Werewolves, Scott gets bitten, all that jazz. And then like… ease in the Hunters? Like, why was there Laura/Derek, Peter, AND the Hunters all crammed into the pilot? Yes, I get it, you need the SUSPENSE and the DRAMA, but you can do that without the Hunters right off the bat. Just, how CONVENIENT~ that the same day Derek and Laura come back, Hunters move to town? That’s just lazy, and again, I can be guilty of laziness, I admit to it, but I literally get paid in—like, do hearts count? I get paid in hearts and pats on the back for my fics, I can write whatever I want. If you’re getting paid to write something, try a bit harder, yes? Yes???

What number am I on? Oh good Lord, I got things to say, okay.

6) MAGIC! Can you like—I feel like this one is self-explanatory. Stiles did the whole mountain ash thing in season one, and it was SO PROMISING, and then that just died. It died like Maes Hughes getting shot in a phonebooth (spoiler, but really, you haven’t seen that yet, that’s a you problem). Why even bother introducing magic if you weren’t gonna use it? Like, was it because people like Stiles more than Scott and the showrunner was like “nonono. If we make him magic, he’s TOO cool, and then Scott is unimportant.” I mean, you coulda worked that in your favour, but no. You just murdered the fuck out of it, like straight up took it out back and shot it. Like, yeah, Derek went kiddo again and Jennifer was apparently all magic beauty spell or whatever, but like?? That’s it??? You had a show about Werewolves and you didn’t even try to make it more interesting by making some of the characters magic? Lydia’s basically the closest and they didn’t even explain her powers that well. Magic would’ve been dope and they totally shoved that to the side. That was dumb. Shoulda done something with that.

7) Explain things more? Don’t mention them once and then do nothing? Like, we got some brief stuff about anchors, and emissaries (which are super duper secret according to Deaton but then like, EVERYONE KNOWS HE IS EMISSARY SO WHICH IS IT DEATON? YOU TELL ME!) Like, they had so much opportunity to talk about so many things and again, maybe that comes out more in the later seasons, idk, but they likely coulda done with more explanations and they didn’t and this angers me GREATLY. They mention something once and then it never comes up again. That’s some Lost bullshit right there. Don’t start something if you’re not gonna commit. You tell me the beginning of the story, I wanna fucking know the end, don’t forget halfway through and wander away, that ain’t right, I NEED ANSWERS JEFF! And like, as above, never really got Lydia’s powers. I know what a Banshee is, but her powers did NOT make sense to me. Idk, could just be that I’m dumb, but similarly, don’t write something so convoluted that it confuses people, that is also dumb. As dumb as I am so like, well done there. And also do we get more on Parrish? I know he’s a Hellhound, but how does one get born a Hellhound and not know until you are conveniently lit on fire by someone trying to kill you for money? (Also, you bean, you absolute treasure, “I’m worth five dollars?” You’re so cute. Silly child.) I feel like being a Hellhound is something that woulda come up before getting barbecued in his cruiser. Like, he works a stressful job, you gonna tell me not ONCE while getting shot at he didn’t have a massive heart attack over a close call and like, burst into flames? No? Is that just a me thing? I feel like the slightest annoyance and I’d be fully on fire, not gonna lie. (I’d be on fire a LOT… CLEARLY I AM AN ANGRY PERSON! No, that’s not true. No yes it is, I am angry, but more angry lately because I’m sleep-deprived and work is dumb ANYWAY back to this)

8) EMBRACE THE SIDE CHARACTERS! Okay, so MAYBE Scott is meant to be the golden child. The Dick Grayson of the show, if you will. The original Robin, the creme de la creme. That’s all fine and dandy if he is, no judgement (little judgement), but you know what you don’t do when your side characters are getting a lot of attention and love? What you DO NOT do is give them less screen time. Because then you’re being petty and, shockingly, you get more positive results when you give the fans what they want. I’m not talking about pairings, because everyone is different, and you can’t cater to everyone, but like, the more people moved away from liking Scott, the harder the showrunners pushed him into our faces. And like, that isn’t how this works. If I like side character 87 a lot, and the lead’s getting annoying, you know what’s gonna make me NOT watch the show? Cutting out side character 87 (hey, for shits and gigs, let’s call him DANNY, just, not coincidentally at all) and then just shoving the lead into my face. That is what makes someone go “Well, four seasons is enough, I can happily live knowing I didn’t waste my life watching two more of them.” Like??? I’m not saying cut out Scott, because the show is ABOUT Scott, but the more everyone tried to showcase how amazing and wonderful and pure and perfect he was, the more annoying it got? Like, Scott has flaws. THEY ALL HAVE FLAWS! If you don’t admit that they all have flaws, it gets boring, and you hate the characters. I know that Scott turned into a douche later (apparently, again, haven’t seen it), but even in the early seasons by trying to make him this pure True Alpha golden angel child who spreads love and hope and trusts everyone, it just got boring. He was vanilla, and also a bad friend, because he was too “perfect” to be around someone “imperfect” like Stiles, and even like, the rest of the pack overall. He was always put on a pedestal and it made the show really… irksome? Idk, I just feel like yes, SCOTT is the Teen Wolf, but you added all these damn side characters, maybe use them a bit more? At least Stiles was interesting, and Lydia was fucking badass, and fucking hell, if you’d done right by Boyd and Erica, the actors wouldn’t have left for better shows so like, come on man, you coulda done better. We coulda had such a dope show, why you gotta crush my dreams like that Jeff? What did I ever do to you?

I know this is only eight, but this is long enough, if I go two more, this is gonna be IN.SANE. And also it’s late and I haven’t finished my fic for the day (I mean, I’m almost done, but I’m not done yet!) So like, I’ma stop here. But yes, hopefully this answered your question. Sorry I got REALLY PASSIONATE about it but it’s been a day.

Also, I feel this needs to be said, but obviously these are my own personal opinions, and as opinions, you are not obligated to agree with them. But you are also not allowed to tell me my opinion is wrong. You can disagree with it, but this is an opinion, not a law, so there is no right and wrong. Don’t @ me, my day’s been bad enough kthx!

HAVE A GOOD NIGHT, BE BACK IN LIKE TWENTY(?) MINUTES!

#not tw #but also kind of #Blood's yakkity yaks #I had a lot to say #it's been a day okay!#Anonymous

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whyralltheusernamestaken · 4 years

Text

The start; two little piggies and a pack of wolves

Bnha x danganronpa x reader

No quirks au

A/N : BAhaha I didn’t even get 10 notes but f/ck it I’ll write it anyways. This might be hella long so lemme know if you want to be added to a taglist. There’s gonna be a traitor so stay to find out!!!

I really hope I get at least like 3 readers on this T^T

Also it’s not going to be strictly Danganronpa like class trials, more just a play or die

Warnings : Swearing, mentions of shooting & bombing

Words : 1,295

Masterlist

@saralight-42 suggested including the entire class so your wish shall be my command! I really do be bringing in the background characters asdfghjkl

Chapter 1

The start; two little piggies and a pack of wolves

The day had just started like any other.

It was at least another 10 minutes before class started and most of your classmates were already there by the time you walked through the doors.

“Y/N!” Mina called, waving you over as you dumped your bag down next to your seat.

“Morning.” you replied with a smile, pulling a chair to sit next to Kaminari as you listened to them talk about their weekend. Kirishima began talking about a new shop that had opened up near the shopping centre.

The conversations started fading to background noise as you felt a sense of dread wash over you. Nothing had seemed ever so slightly out of place as you entered the classroom, yet the feeling of utter despair still weighed heavy on you as you turned around to try and spot anything peculiar.

There was of course something wrong with the door. A wire, you supposed, chalking it up to another one of Kaminari’s pranks.

Your eyes fell on a small bear perched on top of the teacher’s table, it’s features pulled up in in a large grin as it’s eyes remained still and empty.

“Hey guy, do you know who’s that is-”

Your question was cut short when the door suddenly slammed shut, a click sounding throughout the classroom as it was locked in place. A small shriek left your mouth at the jump scare and you put your hand over your racing heart.

“Um, is this a joke?” Uraraka asked nervously. You could hear your classmates mumble in agreement as your eyes remained on the bear.

“Where is Aizawa senpai?” Midoriya asked.

“I’m not sure.” Todoroki responded.

“Uh guys, should we be worried about that creepy bear?” Hagakure asked, bring everyone’s attention to it as well. At the mention of itself, the bear’s eyes light up, a red glow in one as it jumped up and stood on the table.

“Upupupup...” it started to laugh, bringing it’s hands to it’s mouth as it giggled at the perplexed expressions on everyone’s faces. “Welcome everyone! My name is Monokuma” it cheered. “And we’re going to play a game.”

“No we’re fucking not.” you heard Bakugou curse, his hands clenched in fists as he obviously raged at the stuffed bear. Your friends tried to calm him down and Kirishima put a hand on his shoulder, gently pulling him back.

“The rules are simple.” it continues. “Out of the 20 students in this class, 2 carry a bomb with them.”

“A bomb?” several people gasped, quietly talking among themselves as they questioned if it was telling the truth.

“Yes! However they do not know that they have the bombs, so this way no one can spoil the game. You have three hours to correctly identify them.”

“So we just have to find the right people?” Todoroki asked, a blank look on his face.

“Yes!” it nodded. “And then you just shoot them.”

“I’m so sorry what?” you asked loudly, everyone’s eyes on you at your outburst as they agreed. “We need to kill our friends?”

It nodded excitedly. “Correct! You will have a gun with three bullets and if you can shoot the two people before the time limit is up, everyone else will survive!”

“And if we don’t...?”

“The bombs will activate!” it laughs. “Alrighty, the time starts now!” Monokuma brought out a massive timer, setting it down next to it on the table before also getting out a gun and tossing it towards the middle of the classroom, it hitting a desk before falling to the floor with a loud clatter.

“This is utter bullshit.” Bakugou stated, stepping forward aggressively.

“Bakugou, I think it would be best if we stayed calm.” Iida called out. “We are not yet aware of the repercussions of harming this bear.”

“Calm my ass.” he shouted back. “You losers can kill yourselves all you want but don’t drag me down with you.” He stormed towards the door, a hand reaching for the door handle as you quickly rushed out of your seat and tackled him into the wall beside the door, a massive bear snapping at the air at which his hand would’ve been.

“Holy shit.” you cursed, getting up off him and pulling him to his feet. “Stop being such a pissy kid and listen to Iida.”

“Are you alright Kacchan, Y/N?” Midoriya asked, rushing to where you two stood as an unreadable expression cast across Bakugou’s face. It was rage perhaps, more so disbelief, helplessness, possibly even pity for their current predicament.

He stormed off back to his seat, his friends crowding around him worriedly as Midoriya sent you a slightly pitiful look. You smiled as reassuringly as you could, but the worried gaze in his eyes showed everything.

“Well, that was unfortunate.” the bear called out, shaking it’s head slightly. “We could’ve witnessed some nice hand biting but you missy, just had to get in the way.”

“Well I’m sorry for caring about my friends.” you snapped, leaning back against the wall as you now faced the rest of your classmates.

“But how did you know Y/N?” Yaoyorozu questioned.

“The wire.” you said. “I noticed it when I walked in this morning. Though I thought it was Denki messing around though.”

“W-what?” Kaminari responded, putting both his hands up. “I didn’t do anything I promise. I’m as clueless as the rest of you.”

“That’s something someone guilty would say don’t you think?” Tokoyami asked.

“N-no! I would never-” he began before you cut him off.

“No, I don’t think he has the brain capacity to pull off something like that.” you said. “Also the door closed so harshly could the perpetrator have been someone from the outside?”

“Perhaps.” Todoroki nodded, “however we shouldn’t rule out anything. If they managed to easily install and hide such a dangerous trap in the door then I think it’s possible they altered the door to slam shut and lock.”

“I didn’t even realise the door could be locked.” Sero said.

“I don’t think it originally could.” Yaoyorozu said, biting her finger as she thought about their situation.

“Well what the fuck are we going to do about this?” Bakugou demanded, his arms folded as he leaned back in his chair.

“Is there any way to tell the two people apart?” Shoji asked.

“Well Monokuma, is there?” you inquired.

“Upupup, would you like that to be the first of your three free questions?” it responded.

“Well do we?” you asked, turning back to the rest of the class.

“Well we’ll need to start somewhere so sure?” Tokoyami said.

“W-wait wait wait. You guys aren’t being serious right?” Uraraka cut in, waving her hands in the air frantically as she tried to get everyone’s attention. “I mean, there must be another way to get out of this without killing our friends right?”

“I agree.” Jirou spoke up. “You guys are diving too quickly into this without realising that you’re basically asking for people to be killed.”

“Like I said, this is all so fucking dumb to begin with.” Bakugou grumbled.

“So there must be a way to get out of this without anyone dying.” Asui said, but when no one else responded, she continued. “Guys...?”

A brief silence engulfed the room as everyone remained awkward and pitiful towards themselves.

It lasted for a good minute or two before Uraraka responded. “Y-yes, of course! We just need to work together and everyone can survive.”

The class remained silent as her eyes darted, pleading that this nightmare of a situation was solvable. But most looked away, shuffling or biting on their nails as no one wanted to address the obvious.

The stillness was cut through when Monokuma began laughing again.

“Alrighty, 5 minutes have already passed, chop chop!”

[next]

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blvejeanbaby · 5 years

Text

Pairing: Yeosang x reader (as Wooyoung’s sister) Word Count: 2150 Part: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4

The dorms were always busy with your boys, as you liked to call them. Even though they were not in fact your boys, it seemed that way by the way they looked to you often to fix things for them. Yunho can’t get a can of tuna open? You get it for him. Mingi can’t find his glasses? Bet you know where he last left them. San never cleaned up his plates like he said he would and you know Seonghwa and Hongjoong will be lecturing him about mice? You step in and wash the plates so they won’t have to get into an argument. Even Wooyoung manages to need you once a while, even though he pretends he can do anything and everything. The only one you seem not to have to do anything for, is Yeosang. Yeosang is the only one who manages to never ask you for help. In fact, he barely talked to you. At first you thought it was because he was just naturally shy. After a while, as the entire group had warmed up to you and you had become a frequent visitor to the dorms, you figured he’d do the same as his members. At least he was talking to you now, and quite often too, but he was always avoiding eye contact as he did. This evening, you were coming over with snacks, seeing as comeback season was over and the boys had a handful of days off to relax before having to jump back into the studio to record their next full length album. You had bought everyone their favourite snack, except for Yeosang. He had never told you which one was his favourite, but you knew he liked to try a lot of things so instead you had brought him a snack you figured he’d never tried before, with a flavour you thought he’d like. When you came in, just about everyone ran to you to see what you had brought them, as you had mentioned that you would take something for all of them when you texted Wooyoung. You stood in the hallway, barely having taken your shoes off to properly enter the dorms, while they all flocked to you. You handed out the snacks and gave Wooyoung a hug. “Hey, I almost forgot,” you said as he was about to walk away, “mum told me that she has sent off a box with gifts from grandma so that should arrive either tonight or tomorrow. So look out for that, alright? She forgot to tell you herself when she was on the phone.” “So she asked you to tell me?” Wooyoung said, leaning against the door frame. “Yeah, she called me to check up on me. As moms do and brothers don’t,” you said, sticking your tongue out at him. “Anyway, where’s Yeosang? I still have his snack.” You waved the package in the air. “Check our room,” your brother said. “I think he’s taking a nap.” “Alright.” You finally took off your shoes and walked toward your brothers’ room, which he shared with Yeosang. They had been friends the longest out of the whole of Ateez and you loved their friendship. The stories Wooyoung told you, had made you like Yeosang before you had even met him, so understandably you were a little upset when you met Yeosang for the first time and he barely took interest in you. Luckily, that had changed, but you couldn’t shake the memory. You knocked on the door of his room now, waiting for an answer, but when you got none, you entered the room anyway. If he was really asleep, you’d leave a little note for him with the snack. Just as a thoughtful gift. As you entered however, Yeosang sat on his bed with his laptop open on his laptop and headphones on. It appeared he just hadn’t heard your knock. He frowned slightly when he saw you and you felt nerves taking over you. Did he really just not like you? You knew not everyone was going to like you, it was only natural, but for your brothers’ best friend not to like you? That hurt. “Hey, Y/N,” he said. “I’m sorry, did you knock? I didn’t hear.” Yeosang took the headphones off, signalling for you to come in and close the door. “Yeah. I brought everyone snacks. I didn’t know your favourite so I brought you a new flavour of those crispies you always try.” Cautiously you walked closer to the bed, well aware that you were alone with Yeosang in his bedroom. This was new territory to you; not the bedroom, but being alone with Yeosang. In a dorm of eight boys it had only ever occurred once, when you were having a movie night with Wooyoung, San, Yunho and Yeosang. Wooyoung had gone up to the kitchen to pop some corn while San and Yunho had fallen asleep. So even then you hadn’t really been alone. “Have you tried them yet?” Yeosang asked. “Not yet. I have tried those salmon sushi flavoured ones that you told me about,” you said. “It was not my favourite.” He laughed. “I hated those. You want to try these with me?” What was the harm in that? You nodded and Yeosang patted the spot next to him as he moved his laptop from his lap. From a quick glance you could see what he had been doing; looking at his drone footage from their last concert stop. You had seen the pictures from Wooyoung before, one featuring Yeosang playing around with the drone. “Are you planning on doing anything with what you shoot? Like mini vlogs or something?” Yeosang blushed. “No. I don’t think anyone would like to see it.” “Oh, but I do! I’ve only ever heard from Wooyoung that you’re actually really good at it.” You handed him the package of crispies. He looked at the packaging suspiciously. “Marshmellow flavour?” “It’s their limited winter special,” you said, shrugging. “I guess we could eat them with chocolate milk, see if it makes them taste better.” As he opened the package and handed you the first cluster of crispies, you looked at him. “You know, you dodged the topic. Isn’t there a future in K-pop idols starting Youtube channels or just sharing their hobbies more with the fans?” “Y/N, you know I don’t know how any of that works.” “That’s bullshit,” you said. “I know it’s scary to put your art out into the world-” Yeosang shut you up with a: “Stop! Just stop, okay?” You instantly quieted, filling your mouth up with a handful of crispies to stop your face from showing too much shock. He had never ever told you to stop before, or to shut up, or whatever. He was definitely one of the more polite boys out of the eight members and where Wooyoung always told you to shut up and fuck off, Yeosang had never even looked you in the eyes. But he was doing so now and the look in them was enough to make you feel shy. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have put it like that. But you have to stop thinking that I need your help. Because I don’t. I don’t want to share that footage with other people and it will stay that way until I decide differently. And you know what?” But he never told you what. “Do you not like me?” you asked him instead. “What?” “Do you not like me? I mean, I understand if you don’t like me. We’re not really friends or anything. So maybe I should just go to the living room and leave you alone and-” You got up off the bed, your hands sticky from the crispies. You crossed the room and was almost at the door, when a hand slammed down next to you, blocking you from opening the door. “Yeosang-” “No. I’m sorry. I’m sorry, I- I do like you. Why would you ever think I don’t?” “Because you never really talk to me. And the others seem like they like me enough. Wooyoung told me Jongho always asks me to come around, and Hongjoong regularly asks him how I’m doing and all of the others are always checking up on me and chatting to me and some ask me advice on all sorts of things and they ask me for help. But… you never do. You always kind of… ignore me. Or only answer to questions.” Yeosang looked at you as if you were dumb. Under that type of gaze, quite frankly you were feeling like you were dumb too. Of course he liked you. Just a few seconds ago you were still eating marshmellow flavoured crispies, sharing them with Yeosang, seated on his bed. Why would you do that with someone you don’t like? But now you couldn’t retract your words anymore, whether that was by choice or by force, as Yeosang abandoned all shyness and pressed his lips against yours. You were stunned for a second, expecting a lot but never this, but soon you melted into the kiss. Your arms wrapped around his neck, your body subconsciously moving closer toward him, your entire being becoming focused on Yeosang - his marshmellow taste, how he smelled faintly like fig and fabric cleaner. On how one of his hands left a burning touch on your cheek and the other was still wrapped in a sweater paw on your back. How his hair felt so soft under your fingers and how - Wooyoung was right outside. You pulled back but there was a sudden eagerness and boldness about Yeosang - he pulled you back in, barely giving you space to breathe. It was almost like desperation, as if he knew this was going to be the only time he would ever get to kiss you. “Yeo- Yeosang!” you finally pulled away from him, quite aware of how your pink, shimmery lipgloss was smeared all around his mouth now. Your heart beat too fast for your body, which felt feverishly hot. “Wooyoung’s right out there.” “Right.” He seemed to come to his senses, at least a little bit. “Why did you do that?” Your voice was more of a whisper now as the shock of his actions - and yours in return - wore off. “I just had to do that. Once. Once in my life.” You wanted so badly to touch him again; it was as if you were drawn to him by a magnetic force. But Wooyoung could come in at any given second and you weren’t going to have to explain to him what you two were up to besides eating crispies and watching drone footage. And you were completely wrong about Yeosang and his cute, shy sweater paws. He could be the opposite of cute and shy if he wanted to. You took a deep, almost shaky breath, and took a step closer to Yeosang, despite your own inner voice screaming at you not to do it. You reached up, covering your hand with your sweater and softly rubbing your sweater covered thumb around his lips, cleaning up the lipgloss from around it. Somehow it felt more intimate than the kiss you shared and perhaps that was partially because of the way his eyes were trained on your lips, and then your eyes and then your lips again. When you had sufficiently cleaned up Yeosang you said: “I’m sorry. I have to go.” “Y/N,” he started, but you weren’t going to let him stop you again. Instead you all but ran out of the room, stopping by the bathroom first. You were glad to find it unoccupied. You locked yourself in, checking your reflection in the mirror. You weren’t much better off than Yeosang had been. Your lipgloss was everywhere but on your lips and there was a rosiness to your cheeks that you had always thought it was impossible for you to get. You grabbed a piece of toilet paper to clean your mouth, washed your hands in the sink and put them to your cheeks to cool down. You had to pull yourself together and quick. And soon. And now. With a deep breath you flushed the toilet, keeping up pretense, for going into the living room. Wooyoung and San were on opposite ends of the couch, their feet touching as they were on their phones. Mingi and Seonghwa were playing a card game on the floor as Jongho kept score, his eyes more so trained on the TV than on the card game though. To your complete and utter shock, Yeosang sat next to Jongho, his eyes twinkling and sparkling as they locked on yours. He held up a familiar package with a large smile you wanted to wipe off his face so bad. “Want to try those crispies you got me? They’re delicious.”

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daddysfangirls-marvel · 5 years

Text

Goth Boss (4)

Warning: language, angst, tiny fluff

summary: Tony stark x daughter goth reader. The avengers find out that Tony has a secret teenage daughter and make tony ask her to visit. But when they meet her the avengers find out why she was kept secret.( could Bucky and Steve he terrified of how y/n looks since they are from a different time and seeing a goth girl for the first time scares them) (tony has a strained relationship with y/n as she grew up without him and he kept her secret)

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 |

“Hello, I’m- “

“Pepper Potts, I’m well aware of who you are. What can I do for you?” pleasantries were immediately thrown out the window.

“What did you do to Tony?” Pepper was on defense. Lilly just rolled her eyes somehow she knew someone would come to her door after she sent Tony home crying. Honestly, the amount of people kissing his ass was too much.

“He asked for the truth so I told him the truth. Not my fault your man couldn’t handle it.” Lilly goes to close the door but Pepper sticks her foot in-between stopping it from closing and pushing her way in.

“He is a good man.”

“He’s a shitty father. Get out of my house.”

“Can’t you see he’s trying to do better. He’s trying to mend his relationship with her. Why won’t you let him?”

“excuse me, You must got some nerve coming here and damning answers form me and I know for a fact you don’t know the entire fucking story. Hell, you probably don’t know a quarter of the story because if you did you wouldn’t be banging on my door defending that prick.” Lilly was really using all her energy not to punch this bitch.

“I’m not keeping him away from her for my sake. (Y/n) said she wanted nothing do due with him, she told him to fuck off a few nights ago she say she done with him. He came crawling here thinking I could give him insight on how he could win her back or where he went wrong. I told him he couldn’t win her and exactly where he went wrong . The very beginning.”

“I know in the beginning Tony was a bit of a mess trust me I was his personal assistance. But he truly has changed he is doing much better that what he was before. I think he’s ready to be a father now.” Pepper said trying to pleaded his case kindly.

“Well it’s unfortunate that the old him fucked up so bad that not even the new him is welcomed.”

“You can’t say he can’t see her.”

“What will you do? Take it to court? And the world will find out not only did he have a daughter but that he neglected her and emotional and mentally scared her from the very beginning. I guarantee you not only will the courts grant me full custody but they’ll charge him for some of the bullshit he pulled while she was younger statue of limitation isn’t up yet... MY daughter is 16 if she says she doesn’t want to see him she doesn’t have to.” Lilly gently pushes Pepper until she is standing outside of the door. She was too speechless to actually do or say anything.

“Oh and Ms. Potts, next time before you come banging on my door ask Tony for the full story. Better yet ask Jarvis because I can guarantee you he was either to drunk or drugged to remember.” And with that she gently closed the door on Pepper’s face. Maybe she didn’t think that through. She really needed to have a talk to Tony.

(Y/n) sighed as she looked at the window. She and Peter missed another day of school of course but Ned and MJ took notes for them and got their assignments so that was all good they had a few assignment that they said they would work on together. (Y/n) was sitting lazily on Peter bed waiting for him to finish his afternoon patrol and come join her It was 6 o’ clock and she was starting to think he forgot about her and continued for his night patrol. She didn’t mind she’d finish her homework and just spend the night so she could scolded him early in the morning.

She was starting to doze off when her phone started going off she checked the Caller ID once she saw it was Tony she threw it across the bed. Her phone went off for Five minutes straight before he sent her a text ‘ It’s Peter’ she immediately picked up on the next ring.

“Peter!?”

“um... hey, sweetheart-”

“What happened to Peter? where’s Peter?” she didn’t even care that it was Tony who called or who she was talking to her mind was on Peter.

“There was an accident on his patrol he … he’s in surgery right now. And-”

“I’m on my way right now” she hung up as she ran for the front door she saw Aunt May coming in front her late shift. She immediately told her what she knew and then the both of them were off rushing to the tower.

Steve was in the lobby waiting from them and brought them up to the infirmary. Where Tony was waiting for them.

“What happened?” May demanded Tony tried to make her have a seat but she wasn’t having it “ Tell me now, what happened to my nephew.”

“Honestly we’re not entirely sure. He swung in on the landing pad all beaten up barely conscious.”

“His injuries”

“He’s going to be okay-”

“His injuries” (Y/n) demanded along side her.

“Left leg broken, three fingers on his right hand broken, two broken ribs, a concussion, a gun shot to his left side... it may have pierced his lung. we’re not sure yet.” That all they needed to hear the both of them finally sat down and broken down into tears. “listen we’ve got the best doctors in the world hear. Peter is going to be fine. He’s going to be okay.”

A couple of hours later May and (Y/n)’s tears had finally run dry and they were stuck in silence simply hugging each other.

“Ms. Parker?”

“Yes, yes, How is he?” May asked standing up and pulling (Y/n) along with her still not letting go. Tony stayed seated but listened.

“Your Nephew is going to be fine his healing abilities are kicking in.” everyone let out a sigh of relief “ We’ve given him some pain medication to help him relax and get comfortable. I’d ask you to help him to take it easy for the next few days. He’s not awake yet but you can check on him.”

(Y/n) let May go first letting her have her moment with her nephew. She took a seat on the bench outside and hugged herself. Tony, he moved a bit closer and she slid further away.

“Stop. Nothing has changed. Don’t try to change it. Focus on Peter, he’s who we both care about and the reason we’re here.”

“I care about you too” Tony says moving closer she jumps up off the bench.

“Don’t. Not now.” She walks away to Peter’s room. She finds May sitting at his bedside holding his hand she comes in and takes a seat on the other side of him taking hold of his hand.

“So reckless, You could have really got died Peter or worse-”

“Expelled” he mumbled as he rolled his head and opened his eyes. She gasped immediately pouncing on and kissing him. They both laughed and hugged each other still kissing. May giggled as she left them alone.

“I.. I was waiting for you and you didn’t come home then He called and said you were hurt and going into surgery.”

“and now I’m out and on the way to getting better” Peter said as he pulled back his covers and motioned for her to get in bed with him which she gladly did.

“I... I was so sc-scared I thought..”

“Hey, Hey, I’m right here” he said as she began to sob in his chest he held her tight.

“You are so good.” she said as she laced her fingers with his and held his hand tight “ I’ve never had anything good in my life until you. Please, please don’t leave me”

“I’d never” he kissed her forehead and stroked her hair. They both slowly fell asleep to the sound of each others heart.

Tony leaned against the wall next to the door he was of course ease dropping like usual and had heard their conversation. For some reason the comment about never having any good in her life stung but the comment of Peter being something good in her life made him feel proud. It was weird.

“I called (Y/n)’s mother and let her know what happened she says she can stay the night with Peter and skip school again...What’s wrong? Are they alright?” May became worried and was about to rushed back into the room but Tony stopped her and pulled her away.

“No, no, no, they’re fine. I’m just … stuck in bad thoughts.” Tony said slouching down on the bench.

“Alright, what’s wrong?” she asked joining him on the bench.

“I’m a terrible father. I’m just horrible, I know I’m horrible, everyone tells me I’m horrible, they tell me the stories they remind me of the horrible things I’ve done. I’m in the top five worse fathers of the year... I’m trying now, I’m better now but it’s to late my daughter wants nothing to do with me. I was so bad back then I've ruined the now. She doesn’t want me as her father.”

“But you want to be in her life now?”

“Yes, very much so.” he said wiping a few stray tears.

“Then how about you talk to her.”

“She doesn’t want to talk to me”

“She’s come around. Whether it’s to yell at you one last time or to get answers from you, she’ll come around eventually. Until then be kind to her and don’t force you’re on her. Be patience and Have kindness.” She pat him on the back.

May didn’t know the full extant of (Y/n) and Tony’s relationship but she knew that they were both struggling with it. (Y/n) struggling to stay away from Tony and Tony struggling to get to (Y/n). May wasn’t choosing sides and she really didn’t want to get involved but she truly wished for the best on both side and hoped for a compromised that would pleased everyone.

She had grown to like (Y/n).

“How’s Peter?” Pepper asked as Tony came into the room looking completely exhausted he flopped face first on to their shared bed then rolled over.

“He’s okay.”

“Oh thank goodness.” she said sighing out in relief and laying down next to Tony.

Doing well he should be back on his feet tomorrow but he needs to take it easy for the next few days. No patrolling. No training. Just school and rest.” Tony just laid there for a moment hand covering his eyes in thought. Pepper debated whether or not to tell him about her visit to Lilly today he already had a rough day and she didn’t want to make it worse with this news.

“Therapy.”

“What?”

“I’m going back into therapy. With everything with (Y/n) and her mom recently. I’ve been a mess and I honestly don’t know what I’m doing but I know I’m making it all worse. I’m going to go back into therapy and fix my head. Maybe if she’s up to it at some point we can do a therapy session together... I don’t know I thinking to far ahead. Therapy first.” Tony sat up and nodded his head as if he made up his mind then looked down at Pepper. She looked to be deep in thought. “ What’s up?”

“um.. nothing. I’m proud of you trying to fix your relationship with your daughter” Pepper said as she sat up and gave him a kiss he didn’t need to know about todays visit at least not now. She’d tell him...eventually.

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artificialqueens · 4 years

Text

No Strings Attached, Part 3 (Willaska, Bitney) - Albatross, Veronica

AN: New life, new university, new friends…what more could Alaska ask for? Following the end of her relationship with Jinkx, Alaska has decided to pack up and move to a new college…on the other side of the country. Nothing like a bit of space to get over a break up, right? As she settles in for her new life, Alaska must navigate her new surroundings and of course, her new roommates with some very strong personalities of their own. A collab with the amazing @veronicasanders.

All things considered, Alaska was having a pretty decent start to her school year. Sure, the first couple of days had been difficult. And sure, she still had times when she just wanted to crawl under her covers and block out the entire world. But she thought she was adjusting quite well, otherwise.

When she first met Bianca, she was completely thrown by her particular brand of in-your-face, abrasive humor. But over the next few weeks, she began to see Bianca for who she really was – consistent, reliable, organized to the point of compulsiveness, and (though Bianca would never admit it), genuinely caring. She was the one who brought home orange juice and medicine when Alaska got a cold. She was the one who kept the liquor cabinet stocked and the kitchen clean and made a schedule for the bathroom on busy mornings to keep them all from losing their minds.

Alaska had to admit, also, that they had a bit more in common than she first assumed. Even more than the fact that they were both gay transfer students who sometimes felt out of place. They could both appear a little judgey and uptight. But once they trusted you, both of them were ride-or-die loyal. And both, with just a little arm-twisting, could be persuaded to really cut loose, having no problem keeping up with their life-of-the-party roommates.

Alaska had written Courtney off that first day as a vapid, overly familiar busybody. The type of person who sailed through life with a pretty face and shallow charm. But quickly, she realized that Courtney’s sometimes endless questions were just a sign of genuine interest in other people, a desire to get deep – maybe a little too quickly for Alaska’s comfort, but certainly with the best of intentions. Her bubbly personality, rather than annoying Alaska, soon became endearing, and Alaska found herself looking forward to their chats, to getting recaps of her favorite lectures and even to opening up.

And then there was Willam. Alaska still hadn’t quite figured Willam out. She liked her; she knew that much, but she remained a bit of an enigma. For starters, Willam never seemed to crack a book. While the rest of them would be stressing over papers and exams, Willam would be out shopping, partying late into the night and then up at the crack of dawn to go to the gym. Of the four of them, Willam seemed to be the only one who regularly brought home any overnight guests. (As far as Alaska could tell, Bianca’s liaisons were discreet and off-campus. And Courtney, despite being the most flirtatious person Alaska had ever met, seemed to keep her romantic adventures limited to above-the-waist making out at parties.) More than once, Alaska had stumbled out of bed in the morning to find a “friend” of Willam’s being entertained in the kitchen. Usually by Courtney, with Bianca offering them coffee and a complimentary STD test. As for Ms. Belli herself? She’d be at the gym or the mall, content to let her forgotten tryst fend for themselves.

And that was the other thing. So far, every one of her one-night-stands was with a boy. Which was fine, and Alaska was usually the last person to judge someone’s romantic choices. However, Willam had been pretty clear about being bi, so it made Alaska wonder. Why only guys? Was she actually attracted to girls, more than just in theory? And if so…what kind of girl would she like? Alaska tried not to dwell on all the questions, especially the last one, but it was hard. Willam was just such a mystery. One she found more intriguing than any others.

But in spite of that, and the elusive weirdness of how Willam earned her money (thankfully, Alaska still didn’t have more details on that), there was something truly compelling about her. Her wicked sense of humor, her surprisingly soft heart, her ability to make any and every situation fun.

Although occasionally, her need for fun got a bit out of control. Like tonight. Alaska and Courtney were sitting in the living room studying when Willam waltzed in with a healthy buzz and a man on each arm. Tall, dark, identical men, like a pair of Ken dolls.

“Jeremy, that’s Courtney. She’s the one I told you about,” Willam said, then added in a stage whisper, “No gag reflex.”

“Hey Bill,” Courtney said with a wary smile. “What’s going on?”

“Not much. I just thought you’d like my friend Jeremy here. He’s got a nice dick.”

“You haven’t seen my dick,” Jeremy laughed.

“No, but you guys are twins, right?” Willam smirked, then turned back to Courtney, saying, “It’s real nice, trust me.”

“Good to know,” Courtney said, voice just slightly clipped. She might have had a tense, polite smile on her face but Alaska could easily spot the growing irritation in her eyes.

“I think that’s my cue to leave,” Alaska muttered, gathering up her things. Time to go hide in her bedroom, she figured. Hell, she’d almost rather study in the dorm’s parking lot than stay in the living room for whatever this was.

“You sure?” asked the Not-Jeremy Twin with a wink. “You don’t wanna stay and party?”

“She’s a lesbian,” Willam informed him. “But Lask, if you’re curious-”

“Uh, no thanks. Have fun, kids.” Alaska saluted and hightailed it into her bedroom, shutting and locking the door firmly behind her.

As soon as she had dumped her belongings on her bed, she dug out her headphones and blasted some music in preparation for what she’d likely be hearing later on. The only thing she had wished she’d remembered was to grab a snack from the kitchen. Likely Willam and Courtney would be busy entertaining for the next few hours and the last thing she wanted to do was walk in on something. Especially given how loud she’s already heard Willam being from time to time, even when knowing one of her roommates was still around.

Oh, well. It was only a few hours. Could be worse, she figured. Now to figure out what playlist to use this time.

*******

Hours later, Willam emerged from the bedroom, yawning, hair a mess, expecting to find Courtney and Jeremy on the sofa. Instead, her roommate was curled up beside Bianca with a huge bowl of popcorn, watching some bullshit on Netflix.

A bit miffed, Willam marched around the side of the couch in front of the pair of giggling women and put her hands on her hips. “Uh…hello?” she asked, annoyance tinting her voice.

“Hey,” Courtney replied, neck craning to keep her eyes on the TV.

“Where’s Jeremy?” Willam demanded impatiently.

“Gone,” Courtney replied simply and with a pleasant smile to boot.

“Yeah, I see that. What the fuck, Courtney? You were supposed to keep him entertained!” Willam was getting even more irritated at the way Courtney practically ignored her.

“Yeah, well, for some reason, he was under the impression that I was gonna blow him, so things got real awkward real fast.”

Bianca snickered in the background, then noticed Willam’s angry glare and looked away quickly, shoving some popcorn into her mouth. Still a grin was still present on her lips as she undoubtedly listened with bated breath for what would happen next.

Willam stepped closer towards, arms crossed and asked, “So why didn’t you just blow him?”

Courtney rolled her eyes and said irritably, “I’m not gonna suck a dick just because you tell me to.”

“You should be thanking me!” Willam exclaimed. “You haven’t gotten laid all semester and he was hot. I was doing you a favor.”

“Thanks, Bill. You’re so generous,” Courtney said, voice dripping with sarcasm.

“Whatever, you’re such a baby!” Willam flounced from the room, beyond annoyed and not wanting to look at Courtney’s stupid face anymore. She just didn’t understand how Courtney could turn down such a hot piece of ass (who was clearly up for anything) in order to just laze around on the couch with Bianca! She thought Courtney would be grateful to her for bringing home such an easy score. God, the nerve of her sending him off! She could have at least given him back to Willam.

******

“Hey…” Alaska nodded to Willam as she approached the coffee maker. She’d obviously just come home from the gym, and per usual, hadn’t gone straight for a shower. Instead, she was sitting at the table, sipping some hideous-smelling vanilla protein shake.

“Morning,” Willam replied.

Alaska poured a generous mug of coffee, blowing on it softly while she leaned against the counter. She looked at Willam again, questions from last night still swirling around in her head.

“You and Courtney still fighting?”

“Huh?” Willam blinked in confusion.

“Bianca said you guys were fighting last night,” Alaska replied slowly and carefully, “Over the whole Jeremy thing?”

Willam’s brow furrowed. “Who’s Jeremy?” she asked, as if she really had no idea who Alaska was talking about.

Alaska’s jaw dropped in amazement. How could Willam not remember this? “The twins!” she exclaimed, “The one you brought home for Courtney?”

“Ohhh.” Willam waved her hand dismissively. “That wasn’t a fight. I just didn’t understand why she’d turn down perfectly good dick. She’s basically been celibate all semester, it’s weird.” Alaska raised an eyebrow, and Willam quickly added, “She doesn’t have a reason, like you.”

“Maybe she just…isn’t interested in dick right now. Even if it’s good,” Alaska offered. Her nails drummed against her coffee mug.

“Pfft. She is, you should have seen her last year. She’s just…I don’t know, punishing herself for something.”

Of course, Alaska had noticed how Courtney hung on Bianca’s every word, laughed gleefully at every joke, eyes sparkling with adoration. She noticed the way Courtney’s touches would linger on Bianca’s skin, the way she leaned into Bianca with every chance, had to force herself to leave Bianca’s side. She thought you’d have to be blind not to notice. And Willam, it appeared, was blind.

“Right. Well…I’m glad you guys are cool.”

“Yeah, we’re always cool,” Willam laughed. “Even when she’s a spoilsport.”

“While we’re on the topic of dick…” Alaska began tentatively, and Willam’s eyes lit up.

“Reconsidering that threesome idea?” she asked. Willam’s stomach flipped in anticipation of the answer.

“Definitely not. No, I was just wondering…” She hesitated, unsure if she really wanted to go down this line of questioning. It was potentially invasive, and she knew that Willam might very well get defensive. Or worse.

“What?”

“Nothing,” Alaska said, wrinkling her nose and taking another sip of her coffee. “It’s probably offensive.”

“I dare you to offend me,” Willam challenged, eyes narrowing slightly, but still shining with joy.

“Well…you’re bi, right?”

“Yeah?”

“I’ve only ever seen you with guys though,” Alaska said carefully.

“So?”

“Well…so…are you sure you’re into girls, too?”

“Wow. You’re right. That is offensive,” Willam deadpanned.

“I just mean…you know, you talk about dick a lot,” Alaska said. “But I’ve never heard you express any…you know what, it’s none of my business.”

“You’re right, it’s not.” Willam stirred her drink violently, lips pursed.

“Okay then.” Alaska began to back out of the room. “Sorry.”

Willam heaved an aggravated sigh. “Alaska.”

Stopping in her tracks, Alaska replied softly, “Yeah?”

It took a few beats before she answered. Her eyes had dropped to her smoothie, suddenly having lost any desire to finish it. Her stomach felt like it was in knots as she debated letting Alaska see this more vulnerable side of herself. There was a reason she didn’t really like to go on about girls. A very good reason. One she doubted Alaska would truly understand. “I guess I just have a harder time with girls. I don’t really know how to read them. Even flirting sometimes just feels…risky.”

“I can’t imagine you ever having a hard time flirting,” Alaska said, a cautious smile curling at the edges of her lips. She took a few steps closer to Willam and cocked her head to the side as an invitation to continue.

“Well. It’s relative,” Willam began to babble, “I mean, guys are so easy. They’re like…simple, basic, dumb creatures. You know? It doesn’t take much. Usually nothing more than a smile.” She looked up for a second, then back at Alaska, eyes clear and bright. “So I don’t have to work hard, or be intuitive, or sensitive. Women are more complicated than that. And…it’s a lot harder to brush it off if they don’t want me. So…” she trailed off.

Alaska sat down next to her, saying quietly, “That may be true. But…what if it’s worth it? The extra suffering?”

“Good question. I dunno.” Willam chuckled wryly, shrugging.

“Just some food for thought,” Alaska said, giving her a big smile and quick wink.

******

“Come on, please?” Willam pleaded as she shadowed Courtney around the tiny kitchen space. “For $500? It’s such easy money!”

Briskly preparing her tea, Courtney replied firmly, “I said no, Bill!” Irritation was beginning to creep in at the edges of her voice. But Willam was relentless.

“But you’re not even getting naked.” Willam argued with a heavy sigh, causing Bianca and Alaska, sitting at the kitchen’s island to exchange a look of confusion and curiosity with one another. “Just sitting on your bed, reading. You said you had a lot of reading to do.”

Courtney swirled in a dash of almond milk with her tea, clanging the spoon quite deliberately against the sides. “Yeah, I do! And I need to concentrate,” she stressed, raising the cup to her lips. After taking a shallow sip and deciding she needed one last glug of milk, she huffed out, “I don’t need some gross dude heavy breathing at me while I do it.”

Now things are starting to make more sense, Alaska thought to herself. Bianca shared another expressive look with her and returned back to flipping through the study packet in front of her. Taking that as her cue, Alaska pretended to find something much more interesting on her phone. In truth, however, she was listening in quite acutely and she had a guess Bianca was probably doing the same as well.

Groaning in frustration, Willam pointed out, “He’s not that gross.”

“High praise,” Courtney muttered as she rolled her eyes and returned the milk back to the fridge.

Willam watched in bewilderment as Courtney settled in at the island with their roommates. How could Courtney refuse such easy money? It was literally getting paid to just sit somewhere and go about her business.

But she needed Courtney for this appointment! She had her eye on a pair of new Louboutin heels that were supposed to be released in the next month or so and she had to get her preorder in now! They always ran out of her size by the time they actually hit the shelf and who knew how long it would be before they were restocked?

This one appointment, if all went well, would be the last chunk of change she needed in order to confirm her preorder. This client had been a long standing one, scheduling regular sessions every few weeks, especially if Willam could entice another cute co-ed to join her, even if it was just in the background. And when she saw him reaching out at the most absolutely perfect moment, Willam immediately offered pull in a second person.

Normally, Willam would have simply reached out to Tatianna, a flirty sophomore she met last year at some frat party. Tatianna never had an issue joining Willam’s appointments for a cut of the action and was always up for a quick make out session, on or off camera. She was absolutely perfect for this client but as Willam soon discovered, she was working off-campus today with absolutely no chance to get back in time for the appointment. Even Willam’s second, third, and fourth choice all had plans or simply weren’t interested.

Fuck!

But maybe…she might be able to entice a certain roommate of hers…she hoped.

However, Willam could see that Courtney was absolutely not going for it. Wincing to herself as she made this decision, she offered, “Fine, a thousand.” Good bye, matching sunglasses.

“No!” Courtney squealed out. God, Willam was persistent today. But even Alaska had choked a little as she heard the amount.

Perking back up, (and confirming Alaska’s suspicions she’d been listening with bated breath), Bianca was baffled, “You’re turning down a thousand dollars?”

“Would you do it?” Courtney countered, staring at her with a pointed look in her eyes.

Not even having to think twice, Bianca answered, “Hell yeah.” Turning back to Willam as she gathered up her text book, study packet, phone and pen, she asked, “Right now?”

Seeing some light at the end of the tunnel, Willam’s beaming smile returned and offered up a high five, “Alright, B!” She stuck her tongue out at Courtney for good measure.

Nose wrinkling, Courtney asked with disbelief, “You’re really gonna let some disgusting mouth breather watch you study just to make a few bucks?”

“It’s a thousand dollars,” Bianca pointed out as though it were the most obvious thing in the world. And really, wasn’t it?

Even Alaska had to admit she had not seen this coming. She’d given up all pretext of staring at her phone in order to watch this exchange instead.

But before Bianca could scamper off with her things, Willam piped up with, “Whoa, whoa, whoa…I said I could get her a thousand dollars. I don’t have an offer for you yet.”

Bianca opened her mouth in indignation to begin arguing but Courtney cut her off with a very confused, “She should get more than me. Her tits are bigger.”

“That’s not exactly how the pricing works,” Willam laughed out. If only Courtney knew the half of it, she thought to herself.

Drumming the fingers of her free hand against the counter, a smooth, rhythmic clicking sound filling the kitchen, Bianca remained thoughtful for a moment before asking, “So how much would I get?”

Even Alaska was curious about the answer. “Probably at least five hundred,” Willam shrugged before unlocking her phone. “Gimme a minute.”

How does that conversation even go? Alaska wondered. But then her thoughts drifted back to Willam’s entire business venture. How did Willam find her appointments, book them…talk to her, um,… clientele.

Maybe some day she’d ask about that. Maybe even what, ahem, “services” she offered. Willam would probably be more than happy to tell her but somewhere deep in the pit of Alaska’s stomach, a twisting winding knot was starting to form. It often happened when her thoughts trailed towards questioning Willam’s side job and she learned pretty quickly just to let it drop after that. The twisting wasn’t exactly unpleasant but it was more than weird and Alaska just didn’t have the energy most of the time to figure out why.

As she thought about this, Bianca scurried over to Willam, looking over her shoulder and down at her phone. “I’ll do it for a thousand,” she said, trying to read Willam’s tiny ass messages running across her screen, “Why can’t I get a thousand?”

“Well, she’s blonde and she looks 16,” Willam replied simply as she messaged her client and answered his questions.

Courtney let out an emphatic groan of disgust, “Gross!”

Bianca’s eyes narrowed at the implication Willam was trying to make. Pursing her lips, she asked testily, “Are you saying I’m too old to be a cam girl?”

“No!” Willam said all too quickly, head popping back up. “It’s just…you know, you look…like…early 20s?” There was a slightly apologetic tone to her voice that Bianca didn’t care for.

Annoyance creeped into her answer as she stated, “I am early 20s.”

“Right.”

“Rude,” she huffed out. “I could totally be a cam girl if I wanted to.”

“Of course you could, dearheart.”

“Fuck you,” Bianca grumbled. “Bet I’d make a better one than you .”

“Look, just chill out, okay?” Willam muttered. Not her best attempt at smoothing things over but that was alright. “I can get you…750? But only if we kiss,” she quickly added in.

Bianca went thoughtful and silent for a few moments, mulling over her options. Courtney and Alaska watched her carefully while Willam returned to typing away on her phone. What’s she gonna do? Alaska mused. Seems like she’s really thinking about it.

Courtney looked to be holding her breath as well but her expression was a bit difficult to decipher. Cloudy, certainly, but not angry. No…maybe even-

Finally, Bianca broke her silence to ask consideringly, “Would I get the money today?”

“Bianca!” Courtney gasped out.

Ignoring her, Willam answered in her most professional-sounding voice, “Yeah, they send it by Paypal.”

“Okay,” Bianca decided, “but I want the money first.”

“Fine,” Willam muttered, tapping away at her phone again, “Jesus.”

Bianca waltzed off with her belongings towards Willam and Courtney’s bedroom, smirk on her face and lazy thoughts of what she’ll do with the money, but Willam’s voice quickly interrupted her as she called out a strong suggestion of ‘prettying herself up a little’. “They love to think we just lounge around looking perfect all the time, waiting for them to call.”

“Ugh,” Bianca groaned, “This is turning into work.”

“Welcome to my life, bitch!”

******

Two hours later the women emerged from the Willam’s bedroom, laughing their asses off. Bianca was even wiping away the traces of a tear from her eye as they wandered into the living room. Both Courtney and Alaska looked up at them; Courtney from her text book and Alaska from her laptop where she may or may not have been streaming a podcast instead of reviewing her class notes.

“Appointment went well, I’m guessing?” Courtney spoke with a hint of suspicion in her tone. Or was that bitterness, Alaska wondered.

“Definitely,” Bianca assured her with a laugh.

Willam grinned as well and added in smugly, “Told you it was easy money.”

“Now I know why you do it,” Bianca quipped, resting against the arm of the couch nearest Courtney, addressing both of her roommates. “And I already checked; money’s in my account. $850, ” she boasted proudly. “He even tipped, the sleazy little sweetheart.” Then elbowing Courtney lightly in the side, she said with a smirk, “Betcha regret skipping out now, huh?”

“And having to kiss Willam for it?” she replied, her ears beginning to heat up. “Hard pass. I regret nothing.”

Bianca and Willam shared a brief look with one another and broke out laughing once again. Now feeling her cheeks beginning to grow warm, Courtney huffed out, “What? Didn’t you do it? Or was it just a stage kiss, like where you kiss your thumbs?”

At this, the women laughed even harder. Bianca even clutched onto the fabric of the couch as she tried to remain upright. Courtney’s eyes shot over to Alaska but even she had no clue what was so funny. All she could offer up was a very confused shrug after pulling out her ear buds.

“Care to let us in on the joke?” Alaska asked, her voice managing to sound both curious yet uninterested at the same time.

A teasing glint rose to Bianca’s eyes as they narrowed in on Courtney. Her voice was sweet and mocking as she leaned down and cooed, “Why don’t I just show you what we did?”

Courtney’s mind began to short circuit as a myriad of questions ran rampant through her thoughts. Was Bianca going to kiss her? Did she and Willam actually kiss? What did she mean by ‘show her’? Wait, was Bianca leaning in closer?

Every little detail felt like it was magnified by 100 as Bianca’s face slowly crept closer to hers. Then in an instant Bianca was on her feet again, one hand buried deep in Willam’s wavy hair while the other gently tilted her chin up and guided her lips towards Bianca’s. Willam’s own hands were gripping onto Bianca’s hips and pulling her in tight as they closed what little gap remained between them. Almost as soon as their lips touched, a low, drawn out moan echoed deep in Willam’s throat. The hand in Willam’s hair retreated, pulling a few strands along with it, as Bianca moved to carefully cup Willam’s cheek, stroking the skin softly with the pad of her thumb. Her other hand dropped to the curve of Willam’s back and kept her neatly in place; pressed tight against Bianca. Courtney had enough time to witness the subtle flexing of Willam’s fingers before a flurry of emotion swept through her.

All at once it was like a tidal wave had crashed over her as she sat dumbstruck on the couch watching their little show. Each emotion felt like it was clawing its way up through her stomach, trying to make itself known, only to be pulled back down again by another before Courtney could truly figure out what she was feeling. She was just beginning to recognize the growing sense of jealousy when her roommates broke apart, giggling like mad. Even Alaska didn’t seem much better off, her lips slightly parted in shock as she watched Willam and Bianca. She felt a strange burning in her chest. No, not exactly a burn but something heating up, overheating, twisting and knotting, feeling heavy and unmoveable.

“Definitely not stage kiss,” Bianca commented with a little wink for good measure as her hands finally withdrew from Willam’s body.

An awkward laugh escaped from Alaska as she noted, “Good job. Looked pretty real.”

“Thanks,” Bianca chuckled, smoothing out the hem of her shirt before settling in on the couch between Alaska and Courtney. “I’m a great actor, what can I say?” she added in dramatically before her giggling got the best of her. “But really, I did do a little theater work in high school.”

“Don’t recall any high school plays calling for that, ” Courtney remarked stonily.

Bianca rounded on her with a curious expression, as if trying to will Courtney to explain a little more. Even Willam raised a brow at her while she made herself comfortable in the recliner. But as Coutney’s gaze travelled from one pair of eyes to the next, she found herself withdrawing under the scrutiny. A strange sense of irritation was beginning to build in the back of her mind and was certainly not helped when Bianca mocked her with, “Something you wanna say, sweetheart?”

“No,” she grumbled all too quickly, then thinking better of it added in, “I just don’t remember any of my high school plays calling for something that…provocative.”

“‘Provocative’?” Willam repeated in that seal-laugh voice of hers. “The fuck do you mean, ‘provocative’?”

“I just-I don’t see any kissing like that in you know, Grease or Wicked or Our Town-”

“All straight couples,” Willam pointed out in a perfectly demeaning and mocking manner. “I see how it is. I’m sorry our rampant lesbianism offended your sheltered, innocent eyes.”

“Wow, Court,” Bianca added in, dramatically feigning a tone of surprise. “Didn’t take you to be such a prude.”

“I’m not!” Courtney interrupted, high voice climbing in pitch.

Willam pretended not to hear her and directed another “innocent” suggestion to Bianca, “Maybe she really is just homophobic?”

“I am not homophobic!” Courtney protested in a loud squeal. Alaska could see her becoming more and more frazzled but she was still trying her best to sound calm and level-headed.

She might have succeeded had Bianca not piled on with an incredibly disappointed, “Damn, Courtney. Homophobia in this day and age? I gotta say, I expected more from you.”

“Mh-mm,” Willam agreed with a nod of her head. “Cancelled!” she noted in a singsongy voice.

Alaska picked up on the little smirks on each of the women’s lips but all of it went over Courtney’s head. She simply let out an angry huff and crossed her arms over her chest. “Whatever,” she grumbled moodily, “If you guys wanna be porno actors, go-”

“Oh!” Bianca interrupted with a scandalized gasp. Turning back to Willam with wide, appalled eyes, she said, “Did you hear that? She’s attacking sex workers now!”

“Double cancelled,” Willam stated all too seriously. “Very disappointing.”

Shaking her head sadly, Bianca continued to mock Courtney with a sugary sweet, “You wanna go for a triple? Say something about women of color, too?”

It was here Courtney completely lost it. She sputtered out protest after protest, or rather that was what Alaska imagined those stuttered, half choked off words to be. Courtney didn’t seem to know where to begin, what to say, anything really to defend herself. It was as if her brain had short circuited and every time a thought appeared that she tried to vocalize, in just another second, it would disappear without a trace and she’d have to start again.

Willam and Bianca found the whole thing to be hilarious; they were now outright laughing at her frustration as she tried to speak. Alaska however felt a sense of pity…and just a hint of irritation. Her stomach had grown uneasy as the teasing had built up and now it was just downright annoying. They just didn’t know when to stop and poor Courtney looked like she was nearing tears as she tried to explain herself.

“That’s enough,” Alaska interrupted through the loud laughter. Her voice was steady and clear. Polite yet firm. Leaning past Bianca, she placed a comforting hand on Courtney’s knee and assured her, “We know you’re not homophobic, Court. They just don’t know where to draw the line.”

She cast a pointed look towards both Willam and Bianca. The latter actually received quite a withering glare. Willam might be used to teasing Courtney like this but Bianca really ought to know better, Alaska reasoned.

Before withdrawing back to her seat, she offered a reassuring smile to Courtney. To her relief, Courtney didn’t seem as overwhelmed any more. She was able to return the gesture with a shaky smile of her own but she didn’t seem to trust herself to speak just yet.

Alaska’s glare seemed to have some kind of effect on Bianca, thankfully. She shifted uncomfortably in her seat then offered up a small apology to her roommate.

“It’s fine,” Courtney replied blankly, picking up her textbook again and trying to find where she last left off.

Alaska tried sending another glare down Willam’s way but she only rolled her eyes and pulled out her phone. Alaska gave a heavy sigh and shook her head. Lost cause, she figured. But to her surprise, only a second or two after she turned her attention back to her laptop, she heard Willam saying in a shocking bout of sincerity, “Sorry, Court.”

It was reluctant, that much was clear in her voice, but she meant it. Courtney seemed equally as surprised by the apology as Alaska was. Her acceptance sounded rather stunned and amazed, if a bit cautious still.

When Alaska glanced back towards Willam, she found her roommate staring at her with an odd expression. It was difficult to decipher but it almost looked…embarrassed? No, not quite that. Not ashamed, either.

Contrite.

That’s what it was.

Alaska had actually managed to make her feel guilty for teasing Courtney. A feat that seemed almost impossible to the both of them. And yet here it was.

Willam’s eyes darted away for a moment but once they returned to watch Alaska, the latter gave her roommate an approving nod of her head before returning to her business. If Courtney would accept her apology, then so would Alaska. Though she couldn’t deny there was still some queasiness in her stomach…especially when her thoughts trailed back to Willam and Bianca’s kiss.

But those thoughts didn’t belong in Alaska’s head. Instead she forced herself to think about other things. It didn’t sound as if Courtney had completely forgiven Bianca yet. They actually remained quiet towards one another for another hour, even after Willam turned on the TV and traded loud, sarcastic commentary with everyone else.

But by late afternoon, when Courtney had gotten up to retrieve another drink from the kitchen and Bianca followed, Alaska had the chance to witness their true reconciliation. She was a bit suspicious that Bianca had followed so closely behind but she noticed that again, Willam seemed blind to it. She was so focused on the trashy reality show on the TV, Alaska doubted that even realized anyone had left the couch.

Craning her neck, Alaska was able to subtly watch her roommates talking in the kitchen. She couldn’t hear them but she had a guess as to what they were saying. Bianca looked truly apologetic, even a little upset herself, while Courtney’s gaze was focused solely on her drink. Her eyes seemed a bit sad and dull to Alaska.

She watched anxiously as Courtney lifted her gaze to look Bianca dead in the eyes. Then those magic words played out on Bianca’s lips; “I’m sorry.”

Alaska didn’t need to hear them to know that was what she said nor that she truly meant it. There was a tense pause…then a slow, bittersweet smile rose to Courtney’s lips. She nodded her head just so and said something back that set Bianca’s nerves at ease. Bianca visibly relaxed at what she had heard and pulled Courtney in for a hug. As it was returned, Alaska would swear she saw Bianca’s lips moving once again but what she could be saying, Alaska could only speculate.

Shifting back to the TV, Alaska tuned in again just in time to hear another one of Willam’s hilarious, if slightly ridiculous, commentaries. She laughed along with Willam, returned a jab of her own at the played up drama, and let herself relax with the newly restored peace.

******

The fear of midterms were now looming on the horizon…well, it was still like a month away but as Alaska found out all too dramatically freshman year, these kinds of things have a way of sneaking up on you. If you weren’t careful that is.

Bianca was careful. Alaska was careful. Hell, even Courtney was somewhat careful. Willam though…

Alaska had yet to see her crack open a textbook for more than 10 minutes. Often she’d just pull one aside, sometimes open, sometimes not, and leaned over it with her phone in hand. She probably spent more time posting about studying than actually participating in it.

That frustrated Alaska. By now she knew all too well that Willam still had not chosen a major yet. She seemed to feel no pressure to pick out any particular field of study, or even just to study. Her grades seemed decent enough…so what was the problem?

She knew it wasn’t any of her business but she felt some concern for her friend. She wanted Willam to do well. She knew she could, if she had the right motivation. That was why Alaska kept reminding her about midterms, hoping she’d take the hint and finally look at her textbooks. But Willam’s only response was a carefree shrug, maybe a small noise of acknowledgement, and then she’d go right back to staring at her screen.

All of this would cause Alaska to groan in frustration but she wasn’t ready to give up just yet. She kept reminding Willam of the upcoming exams and finally Willam agreed to accompany Alaska to the library. Unsurprisingly, however, she failed to bring a single book or a laptop with her.

While Alaska diligently took notes from her psychology textbook, Willam scrolled through Instagram, chuckling to herself and trying to find the best light for selfies.

Well, at least she got Willam through the door. That was some kind of progress, right?

After about two hours or so of being bent over her textbook, Alaska stood up to stretch, and Willam immediately perked up. “You done?” she asked gleefully, “Wanna go out? It’s two for one margarita night at Twist.”

Alaska shook her head, chuckling.

“I don’t think midweek margaritas are the best choice for me,” she said. As Willam’s expression fell into a pout, she added, “But I could go for some coffee. Wanna walk over to the café?”

“Yeah, I guess that’ll do,” Willam said, standing up and helping her gather her things.

By the time they finally sat down at the cafe with their lattes, Willam was practically dancing in her seat.

“Have you checked Instagram?” she asked giddily, blue eyes sparkling.

“Oh god, what have you posted?” Alaska asked, picking up her phone. She opened Willam’s story, and soon found herself scrolling through multiple selfies, followed by an elaborate, goofy stop motion story of two of her own highlighters going camping under a dictionary. The second to last frame was a shot of Alaska herself looking up from her notes.

‘You’re not taking a picture of me, are you?’ she asked, head tilted. An animated crown gif sat atop her head, the foreground filled with fat adorable bunnies rolling around.

‘Of course not!’ Willam said.

The last shot was Willam, flipping the camera back to herself and giving a mischievous, lopsided grin.

“You’re so dumb,” Alaska laughed, shaking her head.

“So, you liked it?” Willam asked, smile spreading across her face.

“Yeah, very creative,” Alaska said.

Willam was beaming by now. A perfectly happy smile that even reached her eyes. It was cute, Alaska realized, Willam was cute. Impulsively, she then leaned forward and planted a kiss on Willam’s mouth. Her finger tucked itself under Willam’s chin for just a moment before pulling back.

The first thing she saw was Willam’s comically widened eyes; she was in a state of complete shock. “What…what do you…I-” she stammered, and Alaska giggled.

“Calm down,” she assured her roommate, “I’m not asking you to marry me.”

Willam let out a braying laugh at that. “Touché, bitch.”

With that goofy grin back on her lips, she leant in for a kiss of her own. Each could feel the other smiling into the kiss. Willam could’ve sworn she must have been drunk or fallen asleep back in the library in order for this to make sense. But every brush of Alaska’s fingertips across her bare arm or the feel of the material of Alaska’s skirt in her hand as it traveled up her thigh told her it was no dream.

Pulling away, just enough to speak, she suggested in a low voice, “Car?”

Alaska’s nod was immediate and in seconds they had grabbed all that they brought and were rushing back to the parking lot. They had the small presence of mind to relocate to the back of the lot, far away from where most cars would usually park, but following that, there was hardly a rational thought left between them. The hook up was messy and quick, neither of them getting any more undressed than necessary. Part of it was fear of being spotted, most of it was simply impatience.

It took very little for either of them to get worked up. Between the frantic, sloppy kisses, the desperate pawing to remove just some of their clothes, and the drunken high of just being able to touch one another…it was all over much too quickly. Their hair and clothes were in an absolute state by the time they managed to separate themselves enough to realize what they had done.

“That…” Alaska began, “That was something.”

“Yeah,” Willam agreed vacantly. Her mind felt elsewhere. She knew there were things to ask, things to be discussed but it was so hard to think right now. Not just because of the after-sex buzz but also because she truly and genuinely happy right now. She didn’t want to shatter that illusion, not yet.

“I had no idea how much I needed that.”

Willam let out a huff of a laugh. “Really?” Alaska nodded. Her lips curled into an almost self-conscious grin. It was kind of adorable, Willam had to admit. Scratching the back of her head, she commented airily, “Well, anytime.”

Alaska’s eyes lit up with cautious consideration. “Yeah?” she inquired.

There was a loaded pause. Willam could hear the blood pounding in her ears. As much as she tried to ignore it, something in her felt giddy and overexcited. She wouldn’t have thought Alaska would consider this to be more than a one time thing and yet…just maybe…“Yeah,” she finally confirmed, keeping her voice level and steady.

That seemed to be all there was to say for the longest time. Each was slowly coming down from their high and trying to sort out the mess that was their hair and makeup. Or at least Alaska was. Willam still felt in too much of a daze to care at this point.

She remained lost in her thoughts until Alaska ventured, “We…Should we tell the others about this?”

“No-Yes! I mean…eventually, yeah, we have to but for right now, maybe just-”

“Our little secret?” Alaska proposed with a sly grin.

“Definitely,” Willam agreed with relief in her voice, glad to be on the same page. She really wasn’t sure how she could even explain this to their roommates. But that was a problem for another day.

She figured that’d be the end of this, at least for now, but Alaska managed to completely shock her by saying, “I really don’t want this to be the only time though. Is that okay?”

Willam’s heart was racing. She looked at Alaska long and hard trying to find any trace of this being a joke. She couldn’t get her hopes up like only to have them dashed away. But Alaska looked sincere, honest…She really wanted this…As casually as she could, Willam forced out, “Um, sure. Whenever.”

The smile she received shot straight through her soul. She was absolutely fucked and she knew it.

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