#the last one if a gift from me to you

[choccy-milky]

sometimes you gotta lure your overly-studious ravenclaw gf into spending time with you 🥰 📚 ( from 'Every Teardrop is a Waterfall' by Kat_12739 on ao3, GO READ IT!!! the first story is about seb falling sick and still pushing himself/not admitting he's sick until he ends up in the hospital, the second story is about the birth of seb and clora's daughter and seb's reaction to clora almost dying in childbirth, and the third is about dealing with a fussy newborn lewis😭🥹THEY'RE SO GOOD AND SWEET AND SOMEWHAT SAD (not to mention beautifully written) so go check it out!!💖💖 )

[darqx]

I have a particularly lazy fashion sense ie none and so these are the only outfit combos I know of where it looks like I actually tried.

[notbecauseofvictories]

my parents got me a "flower of the month" subscription, and I have to say, I'm really digging the opportunity to take dramatic photos without leaving my apartment.

[skitskatdacat63]

Okay now where's the Seb teddy bear so I can make them kiss each other!?

+

[front-facing-pokemon]

[mitamicah]

There's a little story to go with this comic:

Before attending the Malmö gig I had been at both Helsinki gigs - on the second day I went as Häärijä (in suit and everything) flying a danish flag in the crowd the entire evening.

Now at some point I had my stomach drop hard and I realised it was because Bojan had caught and held my eye contact for 5 seconds without blinking OVO.

Fast forward 12 days and I went to Joker Out's Malmö concert where I was lucky enough to meet Bojan afterwards. After hugging, 'are you'ing and chatting for a few minutes Bojan offhandly mentioned: Oh, I remember you from Helsinki - you went as Häärijä, right?

I swear, had I been able to melt like in this comic I would :'D

Gah I love this boy too much :'3

[covenofthearticulate]

Got a very special Vampire Wall Update for y'all!! I'm so excited to have @killer-laurent's brilliant art, based on my fic Out, Damned Spot

My heart is so full of love for all my fandom friends that made this happen— my fellow Louis stan @wicked-felina, who commissioned Laurent, and my love @monstersinthecosmos who gifted me this super shiny metal print that literally pops off the wall.

I feel so honored to have 3 different fan arts from 3 incredible artists on my wall, but this one especially makes me happy dance every time I look at it because I've never had anything made based on my writing so it just feels like such an act of love from all of my favorite people.

ahjsdgbksdahcf okay that's enough sap for now but anyway happy new year and thank you so so so so much to Kacy for this glorious addition to my Vampire Wall :)

[novantinuum]

gnawing at the bars of my cage

can we please Stop telling SU blind reactors all the fandom drama and SU crit that came out of every episode so we can allow them to just enjoy the show like a normal person at their own leisure and make their Own opinions thank u

[hidey-writes]

Day After Day | 日复一日

25k | T | Weilan | Case Fic, Undercover Married, Grief

Shen Wei swallows. “And this is why you asked me to—” he makes a vague gesture that means go undercover as your husband “—pretend with you.” Zhao Yunlan comes to a stop, eyes on Shen Wei. “That’s why the cover is a married couple. The reason I’m asking you is because there are no other options for people to go undercover with.” Shen Wei scoffs to give himself an excuse to look away. “You certainly know how to flatter someone, Zhao Yunlan.” Or: Four Haixingren disappear for two months after a stay at a romantic mountain retreat. Shen Wei and Zhao Yunlan book a weekend there to find out what happened.

it's finally here!!! my beloved fic for the 520 day guardian reverse exchange! this was written for trobadora, who gave me the most delicious set of ideas to fit into a story. it was so fun.

i have no idea how to describe this fic, frankly - this is, hands down, the most complex and most heartwrenching and most incredible thing i've ever written in my entire life.

here is a list of some things in it: a kiss, a mystery, a change of heart. old chinese people, dark energy world-building, lesbians, big-time character parallels, forgery of documents, rainstorms, rowboats, lollipop symbolism, [redacted], bedsharing, grading, the stupidest undercover name ever. zhao yunlan described with so many light metaphors. shen wei being the most shen wei i could make him.

read Day After Day | 日复一日 on ao3 here!

[spotaus]

Thinking about Orchid and her connection to my take on Gender (because this was meant to be about her and the Crew but it just devolved into a character analysis kinda??? More trauma-dumping maybe???) This is very much an oc/personal rant so feel free to ignore it 🫡

So, Orchid started off as a character I didn't really think much of (hear me out this is going to be relevant) because I wanted to add a 'girl' character but didn't know what to *do* with her, y'know? She was always going to be the strongest one there, she had the odds stacked in her favor with her parents. She was always going to be the gloomy side-character to match Reset's energy. But I think she's gone through every stage of Generic Woman I could possibly find.

At first she was angry and abrasive (think Fell!Sans) where every other word was a curse and she was likely to throw the first punch then laugh as she kicks her enemy while they're down. This was when Reset was a cartoonishly self-centered villain whose goal was simply to prove others wrong. Then Orchid became a sort of sisterly figure. This was short-lived, but she was the one comforting people who Reset would torment, but would ultimately follow his orders, because at this point he was actually a danger and sadistic. And then there was the phase where the story mellowed out and she became the token Goth Girl who, yes she was strong, but was heavy on the 'whatever' energy. Then there was her Era of deep self-loathing and anxiety about her worth that held her back and made her a much more timid and meek character who would only lash out on occasion.

Now, Orchid is the best of those iterations I've written yet. She's calm, level-headed, and a natural leader. Her father raised those traits into her. But she's very reactive, and can be silly, and when she's comfortable it's likely that air of importance transforms into something more comfortable and familiar. She laughs loudly and grins wide, she likes loud video-games but loves to read in the quiet. She's extremely disciplined, and normally no one can get through her tough exterior besides her best friend, Reset. She does what she does for her own enjoyment, sure, but she's thought of every angle and makes her choice to help Reset and control the others with her whole chest. She still worries she won't live up to her invisible expectations, and that and her loyalty are her two driving forces.

I know that Orchid is important to me because she's the longest-running female oc I've had. I have a rough relationship with womanhood/girlhood and I know looking back that Orchid recieved every ounce of my distaste for being a woman that I could shovel into her. That never made her less of a character, she was actually always one of my favorites, and rarely was she a 'punching bag oc'. I just... projected onto her a lot. And she's a good sign of how I've learned who I am. I've decided that my own femininity is something I could live without. I'd rather not associate myself with it, and I'd like to leave it in my past, focusing on a future where I'm not tied down with any gender roles or expectations. That won't happen, but I've come to terms with it myself. Orchid though? I figured out through her that I don't have to hate women characters. My own distaste for my circumstances doesn't mean I have to push it onto my characters (on God I've never expressed anything rude to actual people, that'd be rude as hell and uncalled for, but I have a bad habit of disliking fictional women in media). So, Orchid is a well-roubded character finally. She has motivations abd goals and a *lot* more depth than I ever expected her to. She's happy with being a woman, she's content. She's not treated differently for it in unfair ways by those she cares about, so she doesn't mind it. She likes to wear pretty outfits and lets Reset add bows to her ribbons. She doesn't let being a woman hold her back in the slightest.

So, yeah. Orchid is one of my babies. If I ever leave this Fandom behind for good, she's one that's coming with (Ichor, Orchid, and Pretender all have human designs I can use elsewhere lol-) but in the meantime I'll just rotate her around in my brain for a while longer.

If I'm right, she's been with me for nearly 5-6 years and I went through a *lot* with her as an outlet. So, she's kinda just like an old stuffed animal. A lil ripped, matted fur, maybe a stain or two, but there's a story there and that makes it important beyond belief.

[anaalnathrakhs]

i feel it's so fucking stupid and ungrateful but it still hurts a little when someone gifts me something i just don't like. i don't know. i know it's dumb and inaccurate to astrain that much meaning to a simple gift, but it feels kinda like they don't know me. i guess it feels like people don't see me, like a reminder that the person i reflect and the person i feel like are incredibly different.

[thatone-churro]

chat. chat i have a question. i know ive always had guilt when it comes to getting things for myself, but like. would it be stupid to drop like $116 on the special editions of two games ive been wanting for a while (now because one of which is on sale)? i mean, ive been saving my money literally all summer to use for myself like i haven’t bought anything i didn’t need and i KNOW im not gonna blow through all of it in school because i don’t go anywhere & dont do shit and i know it’s my money and i can do what i want with it but. idk. it feels stupid. is it stupid or is my brain stupid??

(extra context in tags ig idk)

[c-cw-f-saeko]

happy birthday @ariesfaeries !!!!!!!! have a zhao render !!!!!! 💃💃💃💃

[mrcowboydeanwinchester]

mold is the god of the kitchen wall

destiel fic - 1198 words - rating: G - divorce arc - read on ao3

It’s then that Cas realizes Dean didn’t pass him a beer like he usually does. It’s more than a courtesy between the two of them, and they both know it; beer is all atoms and alcohol in such meager qualities for Cas that it’s laughable. But it’s a ritual. It’s a sign of something shared, and something mutual. Dean takes a deep sip from his bottle and Cas feels the cold desert of his hands laid flat against the table.

A Cas POV deep dive into his and Dean’s kitchen conversation from 15x08.

thanks to @faithdeans for the lovely beta!!

Adam and Michael are fighting with themselves in the other room. Cas can hear them through the wall, back and forth, in the same monotone voice. He can’t work out what they’re saying to each other, though. He’s not sure he cares enough to anyway.

Dean walks in to the kitchen, and Cas’ back stiffens: automatically, like it’s innate, like the languid animal Dean usually draws out of him has turned to protective instincts with hackles raised. Dean saunters forward towards the fridge and twists open a beer with a sharp jerk of his thumb. He’s wearing the face he makes when he doesn’t want anyone to think he has feelings about what’s happening. For all Dean calls Cas oblivious, for all Cas fails to see in other places, that’s one thing that Dean gets wrong. Cas can read Dean like a book. 

Dean speaks. “Maybe you went too far,” he says, as he settles against the counter. 

He sounds, Cas thinks, rather ironically, like a school teacher chastising a child. The ‘maybe’ is simply there to be polite. Those are the only kind of words they exchange these days: Cas lives life between a rock and a hard place, between silence and bites of criticism. 

He rolls his shoulders, burying the desire to kick back against Dean. It’s easier, all in all, to agree. 

He repeats Dean’s empty word. “Maybe.”

It’s then that Cas realizes Dean didn’t pass him a beer like he usually does. It’s more than a courtesy between the two of them, and they both know it; beer is all atoms and alcohol in such meager qualities for Cas that it’s laughable. But it’s a ritual. It’s a sign of something shared, and something mutual. Dean takes a deep sip from his bottle and Cas feels the cold desert of his hands laid flat against the table.

“I mean, he’s been in lockdown for quite a while now, you know. Maybe you just went too fast.” Dean pauses, taking a deep breath.

Cas wonders if that’s the end of this conversation. There’s something in the air, in the way that Dean’s fingernail digs restlessly under the label of the bottle, which tells him there’s something else he wants to say. What’s a confession between two friends?

Dean ducks his head, the way he does when he feels like a conversation is over. Then he rears it again, and speaks like it’s a different topic. “What’s he doing now?”

But it’s the same topic. Dean is still talking about Michael. Yet all the foot-scuffing eyes-flickering fidgeting falls back as if it was never there, like Dean is trying to unspeak entirely innocent sentences. 

The thing about reading Dean like a book is that sometimes, the pages are blank and he drops words randomly in a context which only makes sense to him in ink almost too pale to read. Maybe, then, Dean is more like the demon tablet. And Cas is the one drifting slowly closer to insanity, deciphering each coded phrase as they fall into his hands. 

So he has the vague idea that perhaps, Dean was speaking in metaphor. That he wasn’t really talking about Michael. 

Maybe you just went too fast.

Cas replies to the question Dean asked to end the pause stretching out between them like no man’s land. “No idea. He was very distraught.”

“Yeah, but what exactly did he say?” Dean doesn’t ask it nicely, but he doesn’t ask much nicely these days. He’s simply here on business. Here to fix the problem that needs fixing.

And Cas is here because… Well, because Dean needs him. 

If Cas went slower, would Dean want him again then?

“‘Leave. Get out. I want you dead’,” Cas recites. There’s an apathy in him, he realizes, as the words leave his mouth entirely hollow but not at all brittle. When you haven’t got the heart to care, there’s nothing to break. He’s heard those words many times before anyway, from brothers. From friends. 

“We didn’t bond,” Cas finishes, and he wants Dean to laugh at his words so badly. He aches for it. Apathy for all else but this; he abandoned his nest to put all his eggs in Dean’s basket. 

He keeps his eyes fixed straight ahead on the wall. It’s brown, peeling, there’s mold making its way lazily and inevitably along it. He waits for the huff of laughter from Dean, for proof of his victory. It doesn’t come. Not even reluctantly, when one time, it would have come, and gladly. What is all this space between them? Cas keeps staring, and thinks, mold is the god of the kitchen wall. 

Then he wonders, what does that make him.

Dean tilts his head back and swallows, not even beer, just probably more words. His hair glints hazel in the stainless steel green light of the kitchen. Cas gets the sudden and staggering desire to put his chin on his palm, rest himself against the table as he gazes lawlessly up at Dean, and say, I miss you.

You’re standing next to me in the same room but I’m stranded. And I miss you.

What a display of letting go of all self control that would be! What ecstasy to live in truth! What a moment when Dean would turn towards him and say thank god, you don’t know how much I missed you too, I’m sorry, I want you, please stay! 

It’s four words away but it’s impossible; instead, Cas furls his arms further around himself like his body is his desire and if he just gets a hold on himself, tighter, he can keep it all at bay. But still the animal heart of him wobbles over, showing its stomach in the desperate need to feel the warmth of something, anything, underground. 

Maybe Cas didn’t put his eggs in Dean’s basket. Maybe he buried them.

“Where’s Sam?” he asks, changing the topic with a bow of his head, just like Dean did. Look, Dean, he wants to say, if he can’t say anything else. I can speak in codes too. How much do you understand me?

Dean doesn’t miss a beat with the answer, like in all the minutes this sparse conversion has spanned, he’s never thought of anything other than the case at hand. “Eileen hit a snag with a case, so. He won’t be gone long.”

But Cas knows: Dean lies. Every thought he had and didn’t say was a thought he took out back and shot. Cas wishes he could see how many thoughts laying in the cemetery of Dean’s throat tasted like him. What was it Dean had once said - about when humans want something, and badly?

Maybe you just went too fast.

When the rumbling earthquake of Michael’s fury starts, it’s mainly a relief, as it means unity. No more of two old strangers standing, stranded, in a molding kitchen. Michael is something shared, something mutual. When they’ve lost all else, at least they haven't lost this ritual: the eye contact, the thumping of feet on concrete, his hand on the door and Dean pressing in close, behind him. 

Even underground, his body is warm. 

[lovsome]

hii

[snucius]

After Nagini's bite, Lucius found Severus instead of Harry.

(TW: Major character death, past mpreg)

***

"No!" he cried, kneeling in front of the man he loves so dearly. "No, no, no!" he repeated deliriously. He put his hands on his younger lover's neck, where he was bleeding to death, and applied pressure to stop the bleeding, but it was in vain.

"Lucius," a weak voice said. With his last ounce of strength, he grabbed the blond man's collar.

"Sev, you must have something on you, a-an antivenom or something... a-anything to save you" he was clearly crying. Anyone would do in his position. "Please" he begged. "Give me something to save you, please"

"No, love" Severus gasped. With blood filling his lungs, it was becoming more difficult to speak. "Daysha" he finally managed to say. "You must look after her"

"You're a Potions Master! How can you not have some antidote on you?!"

"Lucius focus. You should be the one to raise Daysha after I'm gone"

"No- no don't say that. You're not going a-anywhere Severus. My Sev cannot die today, you cannot die before me. I can't bear it"

"Luc... listen-" his sentence was cut short when he coughed up blood. He yanked on Malfoy's clothes once more, this time more desperately. "She's yours," he spat out at last. And then he began to cry. The thought of his daughter growing up like him burned his veins even worse than the venom.

Time stopped around Lucius as his heart started to beat faster, he didn't think it was possible a minute ago. "What?" he exhaled. "But you said-"

"I know what I said" sobbed Severus. "I didn't want your name, your marriage, to be tainted" he released Lucius's clothes and placed his hand on his chin. "But she's yours, I swear. She even has-" his sentence cut abruptly as a searing pain went through his whole body. "She even has your hair" he managed to gasp out before his body arched with another wave of pain. "Her hair was black when you saw her but it was a glamour, she's yours. I've never been with anyone but you in my whole life"

Lucius slowly caressed his temple with feather-like kisses "We could've raise her together" he whined, shaking his head as if he wants to wake up from a horrible nightmare. "Please don't leave me alone"

"It's okay" Severus whispered, that was all he could do.

"It's all my fault" Lucius admitted.

"Stop"

"I introduced you to Dark, it's because of me, you took the Mark because of me" he muttered against his darling's ear. "I should be the one who's dying"

"Look into my eyes" Severus said with a stern voice. When Lucius faced him, he said again "It's okay"

"What am I going to say to her when she asks about you? Salazar, she's only two"

"Just say her mama loves her" He had to put his hand over his mouth to keep his sobs from becoming too loud. "I need you to stay strong and be a good father to our daughter, okay? She's in Spinner's End with my mother. Promise me you won't leave Daysha with her." Severus was barely audible anymore; he didn't know how much time he had left, but it wasn't difficult to guess that it wasn't much.

"I won't" Lucius said. He'd never leave his own blood with a woman who had scarred Severus. But he didn't know how to be strong, he was weak; the love of his life was dying in his arms, and all he could do was nothing; he was weak.

"Promise me!"

The begging tone in Severus' voice woke him up from his train of thoughts. He nodded quickly. "Of course I won't leave her, dearest. She is my own flesh and blood, a part of us. I promise"

Severus' breathing began to slow as he reached for Lucius one last time. Malfoy intertwined their fingers and pressed his forehead against his dearest's. "I love you" he said as he breath out. He waited for a response but when none came he closed his eyes tightly as tears streamed down his cheeks. He couldn't tear his face away from Severus' for a while. He was too afraid to look at his lover's lifeless figure.

"I know you love me too"

He eventually drew back a little, pressed his lips against his beloved's forehead, and said "It's okay"