#the last one is literally just filler but i kinda love it

[emo-batboy]

i'd like the chart thanks!

Also, there's another person who wants to rp Leo, can they?

Okay a few people are asking for the chart so here’s the current chart!! (I took out some characters that are still not as fleshed out. That includes Nathan, Ria, Nina, Ashley, Zoe, Ray, Maggie, and the hater and Metropolis characters, but they’re all filler characters rn)

A Wild Battinson Character Lore Continuity

- Felicity

- Oldest of the bunch, right between Millennial and Gen Z

- Works at an office, besties with everyone there. Corporate girlie (does use the term girlboss)

- Like if a Gothamite/Bruce Wayne fan was swiftie-coded?

- She has a pet pitbull, you know that kind of white girl

- Tatum

- Goth U, Comp Sci major

- Keeps everyone he knows online at arms length so we don’t know much, has a small close knit friend group irl but he’s also mutuals with everybody on twitter because he’s that kinda guy yk?

- But they’re slowly convincing him. He’s getting there

- Marzia

- Oh god poor Marzia

- Italian, born in Northern Italy, English is her second language but you wouldn’t be able to tell if it weren’t for her slight accent

- Biggest Bruce Wayne stan, will go feral, but only gets replies from him at the worst moments possible

- *snorts like cocaine* “Please don’t do cocaine” is my personal favorite

- Goth U, she gives art major vibes but tacked on a double major in psychology last minute so now she’s staying a fifth year

- Reads smut, writes smut, part of the poetry club, def on booktok, you know the type

- Alejandro

- Runs an ice cream stand in the park on the weekends when it’s warm enough

- Bi, Dating Leo (pfp is them holding hands because he’s a whipped son of a bitch)

- He’s like if that normal-looking kind of athletic guy who always wore sweatshirts and basketball shorts to class just suddenly mentioned he had a boyfriend one day.

- He’s straight-coded but more specifically “the straight guy that gay guys have crushes on against their better judgement”-coded

- Knew the whole time he was bi but never REALLY liked a guy until Leo 🥺. whenever he looks at Leo, he’s got those madly in love eyes

- Thinks Batman is hot and suffers constant torment from Leo (who has a crush on Bruce) because of it

- Ale just wants to be bench pressed is that too much to ask? But It’s his fault he’s a twunk dating a twink so—

- Goth U, Really interested in tech stuff but he’s actually a sports medicine major. He wants to be a physical therapist for athletes

- Cannot hold his liquor

- Smile Watch

- Who knows

- It’s a mystery

- Lela

- Goth Girl

- BFF’s with Nico (goth girl, e-boy solidarity)

- Also good friends with Natalie, they lined up all their gen Ed’s together

- Chill in a Morticia Addams kinda way. She is Morticia Addams actually

- Mom owns a convenience store, she helps out after classes a lot

- Studied for the MCAT, did pretty well, she wants to be a doctor (probably neurosurgeon but it depends on what internship she gets)

- Currently completing the undergrad to grad program at Goth University with a masters in public health

- Natalie

- Former intern, now ASSISTANT at Wayne Press

- Got the job because she impressed Bruce with her good reporting skills, now works mostly on organizing press releases and maintaining Bruce’s public image

- Great at her job because she knows social media and Bruce Wayne Stans the best (she is one obv)

- (Babysits Bruce when Alfred is busy, how did this happen, why is this her job now? She’s tired of his shit lol)

- Still technically working part-time because she hasn’t gotten her degree yet, but she’s set to work full time after she graduates Goth U in May

- Sometimes while sitting at her desk she just gets that perspective shift where she’s like “how did I get here” Bruce Wayne Stans’ dreams do come true

- Caleb 🤡

- Literally 18/19 but aging faster than humanly possible with the stress he’s under

- Used to work at Bat Burger, left because the babysitting gig required more time

- Lives with his aunt who’s already retired (used to live alone, she never had kids or a husband so she’s loaded) He’s staying cuz his parents are super busy and travel for work :) and guess what crime-filled alley their window overlooks? I’ll give you one guess

- Babysits Tim, used to be a less serious gig but his parents have been out of town a lot lately (just vacationing without their child 🙄) and thankfully Caleb lives right across from their swanky apartment so he’s practically a nanny now (read: older sibling/third parent)

- Took a ton of childcare courses for this job and now he’s kind of interested in working at a daycare maybe? If Tim doesn’t kill him in his sleep first

- Recently graduated Goth High, now takes online classes at Goth Community College while deciding what to do with his life

- Jarod

- Recently graduated Goth High, now taking a gap year before starting GothU in the fall. Him and Caleb were always in the same classes so they’re super close (they’re the youngest)

- Future Comp Sci/English major (he wants to be a video game writer)

- Has a younger sister, and technically the oldest child but spiritually he’s the middle child.

- His parents and Priyanka’s parents are close friends so he kind of grew up seeing Priyanka as an older sister. That’s why they’re Like That.

- Literally so fed up with Priyanka, it’s not even funny (yes it is) but the second you’re rude to Priyanka, he will deck you, watch yourself

- Katie (Sweater Thief)

- ER Nurse at Gotham General Hospital, mostly does night shifts

- Gives chronically online energy when she’s online, but everyone in real life wouldn’t suspect a thing because she’s so good at having her life together (the code switch will give you whiplash)

- Surprisingly older than most of the others despite being Like That.

- Literally graduated with a 4.2 GPA how tf?

- BFF’s with Leo then became BFF’s with Ale too after they started dating (she is slowly corrupting Ale and I think that’s beautiful)

- Creator of the Babygirl Bruce Wayne Agenda and PROUD

- Priyanka

- Works at coffee shop owned by her mom called Caffe Mood. She plans to run it one day. Currently a barista

- Goth U, business major (accounting)

- Bilingual, knows Hindi

- LESBIAN QUEEN

- Despite being gay, She is allowed to think Bruce Wayne is hot, that is her Right

- Mad fucking crush on Georgia, calls her Georgie. Intends to never tell a soul. Will fail miserably

- Dead fucking set on the idea that Batman’s a vampire

- But she thinks everyone’s a vampire so—

- Her parents and Jarod’s parents are close friends so she kind of grew up seeing Jarod as a younger brother. That’s why they’re Like That

- Jarod is constantly on her nerves, wtf Jarod (but be mean to him and she’ll kill you)

- Leo

- Works at bookstore called Gotham City Bookstore

- Gay, Dating Alejandro

- Twink (derogatory)

- Swears his gaydar is the most accurate there is (always wrong)

- Made being gay his entire personality because he had an identity crisis in middle school and proceeded to have a massive crush on some straight guy all of high school (that guy was Ale, Leo’s gaydar is so off)

- BFF’s with Katie despite being a few years younger. They were in a high school production of Sweeney Todd together and the rest was history

- Calls every single celebrity gay as a joke, Ale reigns him in if he’s getting too out of hand

- Used to have a mad celebrity crush on Bruce, still kinda (definitely) does

- Attends GothU, undecided for a while but ultimately settled on mathematics because it’s ironically his best subject

- One of those mf’s that needs to be held back at all costs, god help Ale

- Rose 🌹

- Works a tailoring job full time

- Good friends with Felicity, she’s like the black cat to Felicity’s golden retriever

- 70% super nice and chill, 30% wild card party girl

- Gets drinks with friends a lot, tweets when drunk but no one can tell the difference. It’s amazing

- Does not seem horny, is horny. But like normal about it? If that’s a thing

- Nico

- Kinda plays the straight man of the group if the straight man was emo

- BFF’s with Lela (e-boy, goth girl solidarity)

- KING of twitter roasts. He makes memes to end lives.

- Pansexual, single, and probably writing bad poetry in his diary about it but don’t tell anyone

- Goth U, actually dunno the major. Probs public health with Lela but doesn’t want to be a doctor. More like research parallel to social sciences

- Has a 8/9yo sister named Madelaine whom he would die for despite not expecting to be an older brother so late in the game (what were his parents thinking)

- Has tea parties with her and all that jazz. She steals his eyeliner and chain accessories all the time, also she’s friends with Dick and Barbie (yes, Barbara Gordon) so sometimes he watches over their play dates

- He’s a “tough emo boy” so he totally doesn’t laugh at Madelaine’s puns. He’s a bitch ass liar

- Kellyanne

- GothU, marine biology. Transferred from GCCC with an associates degree to save money but now she’s got a full ride cuz of the WE higher education fund

- More recent Bruce Stan

- Pretty poor upbringing, that’s how she met Bruce Wayne. He bought her whole family groceries one night after her card declined at the convenience store trying to buy dinner

- Now she’s in it for the long haul :)

- Lia

- GothU, fashion merchandising

- A GIRL’S GIRL

- Older sister also attends Goth U, but she’s in med school

- More recent Bruce Wayne stan, still not particularly in with the culture and jokes but getting there

- Friends with Georgia and Elizabeth irl. Elizabeth was in the same sorority before graduating first. Got to know Georgia after Lia found her dog with Bruce at the park outside GothU. They party together now

- Elizabeth

- Graduated GothU last May and worked an internship at LexCorp, immediately regretted it but snagged a job at WE (thank god)

- Now works as a research assistant at Wayne Tech in the R&D department for commercial products

- Didn’t really get the whole Bruce Wayne Stan thing until Bruce Wayne personally wished her a happy birthday?? The man is so sweet?

- Absolutely loves her job but still screams at rubber ducks over faulty code in her little cubicle, but that’s the industry she chose so it’s a give and take

- Met Natalie through Stan twitter and now they DM each other about working at Wayne Enterprises

- Doesn’t post much on twitter but follows the main Bruce Stan accounts, irl friends with Lia and Georgia

- Georgia

- Has a dog named Bean

- GothU, majoring in like three languages, polyglot (including Hindi 😏)

- Works at a retail home decor kinda store (home goods?)

- So lesbian-coded, but does not know it yet. Priyanka is her gay awakening. She is now a regular at Caffe Mood (She thinks she just likes the coffee (yeah right))

- Works at Goth U’s admissions department over the summer too

- Once got drunk and locked herself onto a roof by accident, ended up hanging out with Batman (he offered to break into her apartment for her but she said “nah”)

- Jane

- Works at Wayne Enterprises

- Runs bring your kid to work day (idk what her actual job is but she’s an Essential Worker, okay?)

- Very sweet, 10/10, looks on the bright side but never in a toxic positivity way

- Super social too, became work friends with Bruce because she’s nice but not draining to his social battery? They have lunch on occasion

- Watched the Graysons die with Bruce, call that trauma bonding

- Watched her toxic ex’s car burn to a crisp after a joker spree and took a selfie with it (she can have a little revenge, as a treat)

[lunamayn]

The Quarry Collectibles Breakdown

Hi hello, my autism moment is still momenting. In honor of my fifth playthrough (Blood Pact Run babey), here's all the evidence/clues/tarot by location and counselor.

I'm a dataset kinda bitch and love to look at charts sooooo. This is mainly for me, if you get a kick out of it? Great!

Clues and Tarot by Chapter

Honestly not a whole lot to say on these except holy shit Chapter 2 is Clue Heavy. (makes sense, it's the chapter before shit hits the fan officially)

I would have included Evidence here, but it's a boring chart folks. Every Chapter (except The Prologue) has one bit of evidence.

Clues by Counselors

This project started because of how many collectibles Jacob finds in the first half of the game. I had to observe that data over time lmao

Laura was imprisoned for two months, gets out of jail, and fucking BOOKS it for the top clue finder spot.

I was actually surprised to see Dylan end up in second place for clues? Sir, you can't tease Kaitlyn for finding the Harum Scarum ticket stub when it's the only chapter she gets to find the collectibles! You've been at it since Chapter 2.

Ryan you found one. You found one clue. In all fairness, he's too tired from carrying the team on his back to bother with finding anymore.

Nick honey we didn't have you for long, but by god you put in the effort when we did have ya.

Kaitlyn didn't get a chance to snoop all game, and the moment she's got the opportunity? She makes third place a four way tie.

Max is here because I love him. Also, when my partner got a sneak peak of this and saw Max had a big ol goose egg? He went, "This is malewife erasure."

Tarot by Counselors

Laura is really out here doing the MOST

Again! Dylan is casually slinking into second place here for the second category of collectibles.

Jacob and Abi put in a lot of work at the start of the game, but what's that in Chapters 8 & 9? HERE COMES RYAN WITH THE STEEL CHAIR

Nick might not get to do a whole lot, but he certainly gives it his best.

Kaitlyn literally doesn't get to find anything until Chapter 10.

Max is once again just here because I love him.

Evidence by Counselors

Last but not least, evidence breakdown!

Laura I am begging you to take a nap after the game concludes, please take a break girl.

Emma and Jacob got, objectively, the most important evidence. Picture of werewolf Max? Finding the dead dude at the bottom of the lake? Thanks for your service guys, you didn't need to go the extra mile and get more evidence!

In the credits listening to Bizarre Yet Bonafide, I crack up every time Murph (Okay Anton, but c'mon I'm a Dimension 20 bitch) calls Dylan's claw mark photo unconvincing and that he could do that if he were given a fork and a wall. Emily calling it filler evidence? Mwah!

Nick and Max, at least you're pretty.

[nyasiaaaaa]

In the Bleak Mid-Winter

Pairing: Thomas Shelby x Fem reader (Nurse)  Fem reader x Arthur ( platonic) Fem reader x Micheal ( platonic )

Summary: This is a story about two people who become constants in each others lives, and eventually fall for each. While one learns to love again, the other learns the cost of loving a man like him. 

Word count: 6.6k

Warnings: Cursing, blood, death, child birth, drinking, alcohol, talks of war, guns, Tommy Shelby ( If I missed anything or you think something should be added please tell me.) ( Also Y/N is on dick, IDKY she acts like this)

A/N: part 1 takes place during season two, part 2/3 season 3 and 4/5/6 season 4. This is a Slow burn there will be smut eventually. 

There is month and week time just in here, this is the only part where I would do that cause I had a lot to fit in. Because I had a lot of fit in, I have to add another part so too much won’t be going on all in one part. Also this is bit of a filler for that time jump from the end of season two to the beginning of season three

Part 1  Part 3    Part 4   Part 5  part 6

*******************************************

Although you didn't see Thomas again for nearly a year, you knew he was there watching you, keeping tabs on you. You had seen Arthur more than you had seen Thomas; he'd often come in, all cut up and in need of stitching.

 You still remember the first time you met Arthur; you were busy with a patient in one of the ER exam rooms when one of your fellow nurses slid back the curtain.

"Hi, excuse us. I need to borrow her for a second," She said, smiling towards the patient as she grabbed your arms, pulling you out and sliding the curtain back.

"What" 

"You've been asked for by name, exam room three. I'll take over here."

"Why, what's going on”You asked confused.

She shrugged her shoulders, 

 "All I know is that it's a peaky fellow, a Shelby, to be exact." 

She went back into the exam room, but you stood still. Thomas, he's here to see you? You were confused, if he wanted to meet, he could've just come to your apartment; he did know where you lived. 

Then it clicked ,he's hurt again; he has to be. 

You turned and started to walk down the hall towards the third exam room. Walked…. ran the same thing.

Soon, you were standing in front of the curtain to exam room three. You took a deep breath as you smoothed your outfit out. 

You don't know why you were so nervous to see him; you felt kinda silly; you had literally performed surgery on this man and dressed him.

 You shook your head, then quickly pulled back the curtain before you could change your mind. 

You’re puzzled because the man sitting in front of you is not Thomas Shelby. 

"Hi," you drew out, unsure who this man was and what he wanted with you.

"Oi, you the girl that took care of Tommy when he was here?" he asked, all chipper despite his ear being split, cuts on his face, and blood being littered all over his body.

You shook your head slowly, still unsure where this was going

"Tommy sent me here to get patched up; he said you were, uh, sympathetic to the cause." That made you laugh a bit 

"I guess I am; let's see what's going on here, Mr.Shelby." You stepped into the room, closed the curtain behind you, and went to the table to find some gloves.

"It's Arthur"

"Oh, Arthur, and who is Thomas to you again?" 

You pulled the stool underneath you as you began to clean the cuts on his face with some wipes. 

"He's my brother; I'm the oldest, then Tommy, and then John, and last Finn."

You made a face; you didn't know Thomas had a brother, let alone three; in all the stories you heard about Peaky Blinders, only Thomas had been brought up. 

You continued to clean Arthur up, and as you did so, you asked a million questions like where they grew up, how old they were, and how betting even worked. 

You have learned so much from Arthur in the past 30 minutes about the business and Thomas than you would have ever thought. 

Arthur was so talkative, he answered all your questions, he honestly was a bit too happy, you had assumed he was on something but wasn't sure. 

He had just gotten done telling you a story about when he and Tommy were younger when you finished his last stitch.

"It sounds like loads of fun," you said, cutting the string to the last stitch. 

"Yeah, it was different back then; Tommy was different back then. " 

You had wanted to ask what he meant, but he had gotten up before you could. He walked over to the mirror to look at his face; as he did so, you pulled some cream out of the draw for him. 

"Here, make sure you put this cream on so you won't scar." 

"Ahhh, thanks, Doc; Tommy told us whenever we need fixin' to come to you, and you didn't disappoint." 

"And how is Tommy? Is he all healed up?" Part of you just wanted to say his nickname out loud, and another hoped that Arthur would continue his over-sharing streak. 

"Yeah, all good; you know our Tommy strong as a horse," He said before walking away. 

You smiled and waved to him, watching him walk away. Our Tommy that made you giggle and smile like an idiot. You started to clean up your mess and wipe stuff down when you suddenly stopped, and your smile dropped. 

It had just dawned on you, but It was too late; he was far too gone when you realized. What did he mean by Tommy told us whenever they needed fixin' to come to you. You were hoping it didn't mean what you had thought, but it did. 

To say you were overworked was an understatement; you couldn't have imagined first how many men were peaky blinders and second how often they got hurt. 

Every time you turned around, your patient was a peaky boy, saying Tommy had sent them to get fixed up. Some of these men came into the hospital standing even though they had cuts the size of your arm on their bodies. They were bleeding out, but they remained calm like it was just another Tuesday, and soon, so did you because eventually, it was just another Tuesday. 

You and Arthur became close; you would even say you became friends. You saw him often; either he was in for himself, getting more stitches, or he was dropping off a person to get help. And on those sad, rare days, he was picking up a body, someone you couldn't save. 

You and Arthur talked a lot about everything and anything; you felt like his priest with the kind of things he confessed to you. How he felt the business was going, how he was still messed up from the war, how lonely he was. 

On those days, you would just listen to him talk and give him a hug after; you knew he needed it. Your relationship truly felt like brother and sister, and you couldn't have been more happy about it, seeing as you are an only child. 

Arthur and Thomas were the only Shelby brothers you had the pleasure of meeting. Polly and Ada, you have not, but Arthur said you shouldn't because they don't get involved in dirty business. Finn was far too young; he often just hung back, and Micheal Polly's son only handled legitimate business. 

So you were pretty shocked when you had been requested, and Michael Gray was behind the curtain. 

"You the peaky doc."  

"I am." You had tried to tell the boys that you were only a nurse, but none of them listed, so you just accepted the nickname.

He nodded and started to take his shirt off; he had bruises and cuts all over his body. One big cut on his stomach and one on his forehead; that's the ones you will be focusing on. You put your gloves on and got to work; you cleaned the cut on his stomach a bit before starting your stitches.

Your head was down the whole time you stitched him, but you still knew he was staring at you; you felt it, and the way he looked down at you made you slightly uncomfortable. 

Once you finished the stitches, you stood up from the stool, making you come face to face with him.

His eyes were quite different from Tommy's; you didn't know yet if it was in a good way or bad.

He cocked his head to the side as he looked at you, then looked down at your name tag before looking back up at you.

"Can I smoke in here?"

"Sure, and do you mind if I stand right here? It's the only way I can reach," you said, pointing to in between his legs. 

He took a long drag of his cig before responding, "Whatever you want, doc."

Even from this position, you had to stand on your toes; he was pretty tall. You were pulling a stitch through when you almost fell, but Micheal had placed his hand on your back, keeping you upright. 

You cleared your throat. "Thanks" 

He just nodded at you with his hand still on your back

"Tommy pays your rent, right? I've seen your name in the books."

"Yeah" 

"I always had thought he did that cause you to stitch the boys up with no questions asked and no coppers involved." 

You just smiled back, unsure what to say 

"But now I'm not so sure."

"What do you mean"

At this point, you were on your last couple of stitches 

"You have your own protection detail; he sends his most important men to you, and he pays your rent."

You knew about the rent and never paid much mind to why Tommy started sending his men; you'd just assumed that it was your payment for free rent. A protection detail, though, you were confused; Micheal had to be mistaken. You'd never seen anyone following you, or maybe that was the point. 

You tied the thread before cutting it,  all while Micheal's hand remained behind your back; you looked down at him and asked. 

"Why"

He shrugged his shoulders, taking one last drag before putting the cig out on the tray behind you.

He blew his smoke to the side before saying, "Tommy takes care of his own; he protects what's his." 

You were stunned, but Micheal didn't allow you to process. He stood up, putting on his shirt before walking towards the door.

"Thanks, doc," he yelled as he left

You smiled and nodded back before turning around and cleaning up.

Had you really made that much of an impression on Tommy, you were confused and stuck, your mind racing to solve this riddle. If you had left such an impression, why hadn't you seen him in weeks? Not even so much as flowers or Arthur playing playing messenger, nothing. Micheal had to be wrong. 

But what if he wasn't? What angle was Tommy playing? What was his end goal? 

Your head was starting to hurt, maybe cause you were tired or cause your brain had been overworked trying to figure out what this man wanted from you. You decide to go back to work cause, whatever was happening, you wouldn't figure it out.  

*******************************************

It had been a little over nine months after your visit from Micheal that you saw Tommy again. 

You had been requested at his house, Arthur came and got you. This house wasn't in Birmingham it was nice and big, a mansion. You knew why you were here. Arthur had been keeping you up to date with all the Tommy and Grace drama. After Arthur told you about Grace and her and Tommy's Past and present, you knew that Micheal was wrong. 

He couldn't have been more wrong cause here you are, arriving at Tommy's house about to see him for the first time in a year to help deliver his baby.  

"There already a doctor there, you say," you asked Arthur as he helped you out of the car. 

"Yes, Tommy said he still wants you there, though."

You didn't understand why you had to be there if a doctor was already there, someone who has had more schooling than you and should hold more knowledge. 

Arthur had led you through the house, at first he got lost, it was a big house, but soon he found his way and plus it wasn't hard you just followed the screams and cursing. 

You should have braced yourself before entering the room, but you had thought you would be fine; you weren't.

As soon as you opened the door, all eyes were on you, including Tommy's, his eyes which you hadn't seen in so long; they were so intense. 

He was standing next to Grace, who was lying on the bed; he was holding her hand, blood smeared on his shirt. Two women were on the opposite side of him next to Grace, two women you assumed to be Polly and Esme. 

You kind of just stood there, unsure of what to do and a bit scared. Grace's head popped from behind the doctor who stood in between her propped-up legs. 

"Arthur, would you shut the door" Grace yelled

He laughed awkwardly. "Sorry, I didn't see anything, Tommy; go on, Doc." He gave you a push as he shut the door. 

"Umm, where can I help?" you asked, and it was clear that you were nervous, but you hoped they thought it was because of the situation and not because of what it actually was, Tommy.

"The doctor is saying the baby is trying to come out feet first and that he must cut her open. Polly and Esme say that the baby can be turned, and if she is cut, she will bleed out." Thomas said as he rubbed his face; he was trying to hide it, but you could tell he was nervous.

"OK, OK, OK, Excuse me, I need to assess Grace to see which option is better." You placed your bag down and pulled out some gloves before approaching Grace.

"OK, Grace, I'm just going to see where the baby is at," You said as you reached up in her cervix, checking for the baby, and it was trying to come out feet first. You pulled out of her before speaking again.

"OK, Grace, the baby is coming feet first, but it's still far up, so I think we have a good chance at turning it around. It will be painful, but it's better than cutting you open and risking you bleeding out."

"Well, I can't do that, and I still believe that a c-section is the way to go; I've done many and have had many successes." The doctor tried to argue, but you knew that the risk of her bleeding out was higher than her not. 

"I can do it. Trust me, Grace, I can do it."

"Are you even a doctor?" the doctor asked. 

"No, but that doesn't matter. Grace, what do you want."

Graces looked between you and the doctor before looking up at Thomas, who was looking at you. And for the first time since you stepped into this room, you looked at him in the eyes. You nodded slightly, telling him you had this; he stared at you a little longer before telling you to go ahead. 

You got right to work pushing on Grace's stomach, pushing the baby's head, and slowly turning the baby. She screamed in pain, and Thomas held her hand, encoring her along; after 30 minutes, you finally got the baby in the correct position. You would’ve let Grace take a much-needed break, but she said she felt the need to push and couldn't hold back. 

"OK, Grace, that's fine. Push." You got back between her legs and sat on the stool at her feet.

It only took two pushes, and the baby was out, but It wasn't breathing; you panicked, and everyone looked at you scared. Except for Thomas, he looked at you in a way you can't describe as anything other than murderous. 

You held the baby in your hands, quickly walking over to the dresser and placing the baby down before grabbing the suction ball from your bag below you. You sucked the goo from the baby's mouth and throat and ran your knuckles across his chest. 

The baby still didn't cry out, and you were nervous. Had you pushed on its head too hard? You had never done it yourself, only seen it done, but-

The baby coughed and let out a cry; relief flooded your body, and tears slipped from your eyes. You cleaned the baby before turning around and walking over to Thomas.

"Here you go, Mr.Shelby, a beautiful, healthy baby boy." 

For the first time ever, you saw Tommy smile, like a full ear-to-ear smile, as you handed him his son. You smiled to yourself before stepping away and collecting your things. You looked at the doctor who stood in the corner, flipping him off before saying.

"You can handle the rest, right, or do you need help with that too?" 

He rolled his eyes at you before walking to Grace to clean her up.

You opened the door and saw Michael, Arthur, who you assumed to be John and Finn, and many more waiting outside the door.

"Grace is fine." 

"And," Arthur asked. 

"And it's a- " 

"It's a boy," Thomas said, interrupting you, you turned around, and he was standing right behind you. 

"Congratulations," You said to Tommy. 

"Thank you," he said back before he got rushed with a bunch of hugs.

You went down the steps, deciding to wait for Arthur outside, and truth be told, you needed some air not only because of Tommy but also because that was the most ballsy thing you had ever done in your career. You just delivered a baby, all on your own. 

You weren't waiting on the steps outside long when you heard the door open, and you stood up, brushing the dirt off yourself, slowly turning around.

"I thought you had gotten lost again. Arthur thought I had to come to find yo-"You stopped your sentence abruptly, seeing as Arthur wasn't the one standing in front of you.

"Micheal, where's Arthur?"

"I had asked him if it was alright if I took you home." 

"Oh, OK, let's go," You said before hopping in the car, with Micheal right behind you, sliding next to you in the driver's seat.

The drive back was quiet, and soon you were back at your house; you hopped out of the car and walked towards your apartment building, Micheal right behind you.

"You don't have to walk me to my door, Micheal; I'll be fine."

"Who am I to defy orders?" 

That made you stop and turn towards him. 

"You’re wrong, Tommy's with Grace. We're friends; he has no feeling like that towards me."

"You sure about that" 

"I just delivered his baby, Micheal."

"Exactly," he said, then turned around and left. 

You walked into your building and up the steps to your apartment; you stood at the door searching for your keys and became frustrated when you couldn't find them. You threw your bag at the door, making everything fall and spill across the floor. 

You took a deep breath before squatting down, picking everything up, and putting them back; your keys had also been on the ground. You grabbed them and unlocked the door, walking in and shutting it behind you.

You walk over to your bed and jump in it; you don't even have the energy to change. You were so tired, and your head hurt trying to figure out what Micheal got from playing with your head like this. 

You wouldn't even let yourself go down the guessing road; he was with Grace, and that was final. They were apart and came back stronger than ever; their love was fairy-tale-like. 

You couldn't help yourself, though; a small part of you still thought, 

What if.

********************************

Months have passed since you last seen Tommy since you delivered his baby. You haven’t seen him, but you know he was keeping tabs on you. You also started to see Arthur less; he was a changed man so he says. He met a new dime, Linda. You’re not going to lie, you don’t like the bitch, but Arthur does, and seeing as he has stopped the fighting, drinking, and even snow, you’ve decided to let it go. 

You still see peaky boys, though; they have become a part of your day-to-day life. You can’t remember the last time you had a regular patient or even a day off. And you needed a day off, you barely sleep cause of all the doubles you’ve been pulling at the hospital, and you never go out anymore. You honestly don’t remember the last time you got laid.

It’s been a while. 

So that’s why you decided to take the day off and to take up one of the doctors at the hospital's offer to go out.

You honestly didn’t care where the doctor took you or what y’all talked about; you had one goal tonight: getting laid.

You were ready to go out, sitting at your kitchen table bucking your shoes, when you heard a knock on your door. He was early, but you were ready, so it was fine. You walked over to the door, a smile taking over your face. You opened the door and were immediately pushed out of the way as someone invited themselves into your home.

“ Um, excuse me,” you said, turning around to meet the stranger.

Only it wasn’t a stranger. It was Tommy

And he wasn’t alone; he had his son in his arms.

“What's wrong?” You asked, rushing over to them. 

“ he fell. I was changing him, and he fell, and he cried and cried, but then he just stopped.” He was pacing your living room with the baby still in his arms.

You slowly approached him. 

“ It’s ok, Tommy, babies aren’t glass, ok. Every kid has been dropped on their head, I’d reckon Arthur, more than once.”

You got him to stop pacing with your words, but he still held the baby in a death grip.

“ Let me see him, Tommy; everything going to be fine, just let me see him.” You spoke as softly as you could as you stood before him, placing your hand on his shoulder. 

He looked up from the baby to look at you; you nodded as you placed your hands under his to take the baby from his hands. He slowly let go of the baby, releasing him to you. Once you fully secured the baby, you held him close as you walked over to your med bag at home. You fetched out your stethoscope and put it on before listening to the baby’s heart rate and breathing; you then checked his pupil reaction with your small flashlight. 

The baby seemed fine; Tommy probably put the baby to sleep by rocking it for so long, that’s why it probably stopped crying. 

“ Your baby’s fine, no signs of brain damage; he is just sleeping. That’s why he stopped crying,” you said, walking back over to him, and handing him back his baby.

You could see his body ease up slowly as he rocked the baby back and forth. 

“ Did you drive here, or” you trailed off

“ Yeah, but my car ran out of petrol; I’ve sent Curly to get me some more.” 

You nodded slowly; you weren’t sure what you were supposed to do next.

“ Do you have a quiet place where I can put him down?” 

“ Yes, my bedroom, it's over there,” You say, pointing towards the back of the room.

Tommy walks back towards your room, and you just stand there, uncertain what to do in your own home. He came back soon and started to head towards a seat in your living room and to make things less awkward, you took a seat across from him in the other chair. 

“ Can I smoke in here?” 

You nodded to his question; he pulled out his cigarette holder and took one before offering you one.

“ Oh no, I don’t smoke,” you said, making him make a face.

“ I only smoked that one time cause I was a bit stressed.”

He just nodded at you, lighting up his cig and taking a drag, and y’all just sat there; honestly, how long does it take to get some petrol. You couldn’t be this still any longer. You had to get up.

“ Would you like something to drink?” You asked, walking over to your drink table.” Whiskey fine?” you asked, even though you knew that’s all he drank 

You turned back to see him nodding his head, so you continued to ask, “ Brown or white?”

“ Brown” 

You poured the both of you a cup, filling yours up a bit more than his; you would need the whole bottle if he stayed any longer. You walked over to him, handing him his cup before sitting back in your seat. The silence followed again shortly after, and it was killing you; he had finished his cig, and you had finished your glass; you were seriously thinking about getting that petrol yourself. 

“ You were a nurse in the war? “ Tommy asked, pointing towards your medals on the shelf above your fireplace.

“ Yes, I was stationed in France, you? “ 

 You already knew the answer, though, cause of Arthur

“ Yep, I was in France, tunneler.” he finished his drink before continuing, “You kept your medals?” 

Even though he didn’t phrase it like a question, you still knew he was asking why you had kept them.

This question caught you slightly off guard, but you knew most people around here threw theirs into the cut as a fuck you to the king for the way they were treated when they got back.

“ You mean, why didn’t I throw them in the cut like everyone else?” You asked as you got up, getting his cup and you for a much-needed refill. “ I don’t see them like how you might; I see them as my team telling me good job and not the king. My team nominated me for the medal, not the king.” 

He nodded, slowly taking his drink back and sipping before asking you another question. 

“ And the war,” he cleared his throat, “is it still with you.”

You didn’t know why he was asking you all these questions, but you didn’t mind answering them. The more you talked about your experience, the easier it was to continue your life and leave the war in the past.

“ Honestly, there must be something wrong with my brain because no matter how hard I try to think back, I can’t remember half of the things that happened.” You let out a slight chuckle as you spoke. 

“Nothing, eh?” 

“ Well, not nothing; I remember why I was nominated for that medal.” You paused, unsure if you should tell this story. Men like Tommy don’t often reminisce about their time in France. But Tommy tipped his glass towards you, encouraging you along.

“ Ok, umm, my group and I had been relocated closer to the battlefield; we were located where fighting had taken place and tunnels dug. So there were a lot of caved-in holes and shells everywhere, but they said they had swept the area, and there were no bombs or anything. Nightfall came, and we were all set up; everyone but the guards were asleep. I couldn’t, though; I could hear the fighting going on in the distance. And even though it was really dumb, I went for a walk. I just couldn’t keep still and didn’t want to wake up the others.” 

You looked down and realized that you had finished your drink, so you got up to get some more; you went over to the drink table but didn’t pour anything. Instead, you just leaned against it before turning back to face Thomas. 

“ I was walking, and um, I tripped, fell right on my face. I had dropped my flashlight, hitting the ground must have turned it off. So I reached around looking for it, and that was when I touched something, but it wasn’t my flashlight; it was my hand. I panicked and backed up as quickly as possible and ended up finding my flashlight. I quickly turned it on and saw a hand sticking up from the mud, almost like it had broken through. I was trying to calm myself down when I saw the hand twitch; I had assumed the guy was dead. Next thing I know, I’m on my hands and knees digging through the dirt, and it seemed like no matter how fast and hard I dug, dirt kept refilling up the hole.” Tears started falling from your cheek, but you wiped them quickly, not wanting to cry in front of Tommy.

“ I uhh eventually was able to dig his head out, then shoulders and then I was able to pull him out, he wasn’t breathing, so I began CPR and mouth to mouth, the mud got all in my mouth cause his face was caked with it, but I didn’t care. Finally, after five minutes, he began coughing and gasping for air; I pulled him up into my lap, propping him up a bit, hoping that would help. Then he opened his eyes. He had tried to speak, but he just kept saying the same thing over and over again; he wasn’t making any sense. I told him he should save his strength, which made him quiet down. And so we just laid there for a bit, with him in my lap holding onto my arms; he just looked at me, and I looked at him. He eventually remembered that other men were still down in the tunnels, and thankfully, the tunnel hadn’t fully clasped. Together, we dug them out and helped them back to camp. They were all too badly injured for us to help, so they were driven to the nearest hospital.” 

You had walked over to Thomas, picking up his cigarette holder, taking one, and lighting it up. Tommy took notice but didn’t say anything. 

“ Soon after I was nominated for the award, the soldiers I had saved and the nurse in my unit nominated me. And the rest is history.” You took a couple more puffs of the cig before putting it out on the table since you didn’t have an ashtray. 

Tommy opened his mouth to speak, but there was a knock at the door; you walked over to it, opened it, and was greeted by Curly.

“ Tommy, I’ve got the petrol for you and filled your car; it's all ready to go.”

You turned to face him, smiling, before heading to your room to pick up the baby. You brought the baby out to Thomas, placing him in his hands.

“ Welp, this has been fun, but I’m tired, and this little one needs to get home. See you, Tommy.” 

He said your name, tilting his head down before leaving your apartment.

 You have never told that story to anyone before; it brought up a lot of emotions, more than you expected. It had felt good telling that story, though, especially with a person who also served, who might have understood where you were coming from. 

You had washed up and changed your clothes; the Whiskey made your eyes feel heavy, and you practically had to drag yourself to bed. You did make it, though. You got under the covers all warm and cozy, and you were about to fall asleep when you suddenly realized, 

You never went on your date.

********************

You wish you could say the next time you saw, Tommy was as pleasant as the last.

You had a late shift at the hospital tonight.

You walked into the hospital late, around 8:00 p.m. The air felt good, and you had been inside all day at home, so you decided to walk to work; it wasn’t far. You had run into a friend at the door and were walking in together. She was talking to you about her lazy husband, but as soon as you entered the hospital, you had tuned her out. You heard a voice screaming in the distance; you knew that voice. You started running in the direction the voice was coming from, leaving your friend without a goodbye.

It felt like you were running in slow motion; the hallway was getting longer and longer, and you thought you would never get to the end. 

When you finally reached the end, you stopped and scanned the room. Tommy was being held back by multiple guards and doctors, Polly and Linda were screaming at the nurses, Arthur had been pressed to the floor, and John was against the wall. 

“ Mr.Shelby, if you don’t calm down, we will have to put you out,” one of the nurses said, trying to get him to calm down, but that only made him more mad.

The nurse screamed as Tommy held a gun to her face. “ I’m sorry, what was that? hmm” 

You had rushed over, placing yourself in between the gun and the nurse, 

“ Tommy, Tommy, look at me. What's wrong? Tell me how I can help.”  

His breath was coming out shaking. He waved the gun to the side, trying to tell you to move, but you didn’t; he did it again, and you still didn’t move.

“ Move!” he yelled. 

“ No, Tommy, what’s wrong?” 

He yelled out in frustration, then put the gun back in his holder. He turned around walking away from you, putting his hands on top of his head. 

“ Talk to me, please, Tommy.” You begged 

You blinked and suddenly he was in your face, he was so close you could feel his breath on your face. He squatted down to your eye level before pointing his arm out in no particular direction, his mouth opened and closed, as he struggled to find the words.

“ Them fuckers shot Grace, and now these doctors won’t let me see her.”

“ Ok, I will go check on her, okay, but you can’t threaten them; they’re just doing their job.”

“ Ok, Tommy,” he nodded slowly back at you. 

“ Ok,” he whispered.

You turned to the nurse you had protected earlier. 

“ Take them to a private waiting room, please.” She nodded, whispering a small thank you as you walked towards the surgical wing. You were about to walk through the door when you had been tugged back; it was Tommy.

“ I got her, Tommy, I promise.” He squeezed your hand before letting go. 

You pushed through the door to the surgical wing and started to run; you weren’t sure which room she was in, so you checked every single one, busting through the door and looking at the person on the table. You have reached the last surgery room with no luck so far. Grace had to be in this room; it was the last one. You opened the door, saying a slight prayer.

“ Time of death 10:55” 

You tried to talk, but the words got trapped in your throat; you felt it sitting there, causing your throat to burn as you struggled to breathe. Tears began falling down your face as you fell against the wall, feeling too weak to stand alone. This wasn’t supposed to happen; this isn’t how things were supposed to go. 

“ No,” you sobbed out.

“ No, no, no, no, no, what did you do?” you screamed at the Doctor.

You pushed yourself off the wall, walking over to Grace; you touched her arm, and she was still warm. You looked up at the Doctor; it was Dr.Brown.

“ What did you do? The shot was to the fucking shoulder; what - did - you - do” 

He just stared at you, not answering you. You looked around the room, and everyone was staring at you. You went around the table and pushed Dr.Brown against the wall; you didn’t know what you were doing; you didn’t know what you wanted from him.

“ Do you think you could tell Thomas for me?” his voice was shaky. 

You let go of him, walking backward. You stared at him in disgust, and then you started to laugh. 

It was an eerie laugh; you were practically choking on it. You wiped the tears and snot from your face with the back of your hands.

“You want me to tell him that you killed his wife because you don’t want him to smell the alcohol on your breath 'cause you want to live right.” 

The Doctor stared at you with his mouth gaping open like a fish; you even saw his eyes start to fill up with tears.

“ Oh, don’t worry, I’ll tell him, and when he’s in the right mind, I’ll tell him that you’re a drunk and you killed his wife.” 

You walked out before he could spill some bullshit to you. 

You wanted to walk slowly and drag your feet, but you knew better.

You’ve lost patients before and family, but it didn’t feel like this. You’ve never felt like this; you never felt so responsible for someone's death. 

You know that there was no way you could have stopped it, and there was no way you could have known. But what if, what if you called a taxi instead of walking? What if you told the police about the Doctor's drinking. So many moments played through your head, so many moments you wished you changed because somehow this feels like your fault. You knew that. Dr. Brown was a drunk; you should have fought harder with the hospital board. You should’ve- 

You stopped cause; deep down, you knew there was nothing you could have done. There is no way you could have saved Grace. 

You approached the private waiting room and stood there for a second to gather yourself. This death isn’t yours to cry for; it’s theirs. You wiped your tears and snot on your shirt; you cleared your throat and took a deep breath.

You pushed open the door and entered the room; they all stood when you entered, except for Tommy, who already standing cause he had been pacing. You looked around the room. Every single person's eyes were on you, waiting for you to speak; it was so quiet, no one made a sound.

“ So,” Tommy’s voice cracked as he spoke.

You took a deep breath before you tried to speak, and you tried, you really did, but you couldn’t keep it together. A sob left your mouth before you could stop it.

This caused Polly to bring her hand to her mouth as she fought back her tears.

You closed your eyes and took a deep breath before trying again.

“ I’m s-so sorry, Tommy; when I got there, she was already gone. There was nothing I could do.” Your voice grew horse as you spoke, and your throat burned as your fought back tears.

“No,” he whispered. 

“ Tommy”

“NO!” he shouted before throwing the chair across the room.

Polly started telling everyone to get out and give him some space, but you stayed. You knew the last thing he needed was to be alone with his thoughts.

Everyone had left, and it was just you two alone. 

He had stopped throwing things and rested his head against the wall.

“ Get out” 

“ No,” you said, walking over to him, 

You had placed your hand on his shoulder, but it was only for a second cause soon he had flipped you, and now you were against the wall. He held a tight grip on your shoulders, keeping you bound to the wall. His eyes started directly into yours, and even though he appeared mad, his eyes showed he was hurt. 

He pushed you deeper into the wall. “Why didn’t you save her?” You heard the pain in his voice as he spoke. “You saved me; you brought me back to life; why couldn’t you save her? Why couldn’t you bring her back.” He whispered out

You just stared at him; you were speechless. 

Then it finally happened: he broke down; you put your arms around him as he slowly fell to the ground, with you falling with him.

You held him in your arms as he cried; his grip on your arms kept tightening as if you would let him go. You hadn’t planned on it; you would hold him till he asked you to let go. You’d lay here as he slept if he needed you to. 

He needed you, and you were going to be there for him. 

[be-the-glenn-to-my-maggie]

Avatar: The Last Airbender Live Action Thoughts!

-First of all, ya'll need to leave those child actors alone, they are babies and they didn't write the show, nor was it their idea to do it. I have seen way too many people body shaming children; leave them alone they all did well!

-I think Gordon makes Aang just as cute and small and powerful as I always saw him as!! He manages to joke around and be fun even when the storyline is a lot darker and more serious.

-I really wish Sokka was able to be more of his goofy and silly self. I understand why he isn't, and his humor is more sarcasm and dark jokes, but I saw glimpses of him in there! His excitement when he was with the Mechanist, engineering and getting to do something other than be in charge. Also when he has any older brother convo with Katara or Aang. I'm hopeful with time he'll be able to loosen up!

-(Speaking of the Mechanist, my boy Danny Pudi was SO GOOD, I love him, him and his little son).

-I wish Aang would practice waterbending with Katara :( those scenes of them practicing together were always some of my favorites in the series. Just beautiful kataang moments. I'm glad they addressed it but I missed those moments.

-I don't understand how you guys can't be having fun watching this, I get so excited waiting for little moments of lore, or when Jet and Katara were fighting in the forest I was sitting in front of the TV like "WHERE'S SMELLERBEE AND LONGSHOT. OH MY GOD NO IT'S PIPSQUEAK!" It's just so much fun! The colors are beautiful, the effects are gorgeous, and the plot and characters are entertaining. Think about the piece as it's own thing and enjoy it!

-Adaptations are just that; adaptations, and things will be changed! I think so far I haven't minded their changes, I understand why they've been made. There are things to criticize, but I think this is pretty well done.

-Zuko is fantastic; I think all the child actors are fairly good but Dallas' pissy attitude and the faces he makes are so so fun! I feel for Zuko and I'm scared of him when he shows up, and he's just as annoying and bratty as ponytail Zuko should be. His physical motions are fantastic!

-TEO WAS SO LITTLE?? Oh my god, like as a kid I thought the cartoon version of him was kinda hot so when they wheeled that tiny baby in I was HORRIFIED.

-Idk why YOU ALL weren't scared of Lizzy Yu's Azula, but her little smile in her intro scene gave me a lil chill. Maybe it's because I was away when the show first came out so I saw post after post about how bad she was, but I just.... Thought she'd be worse?? She did really well! Ya'll better be careful though or Gaten Matarazzo will come for you, that's his girl.

-So far the mushing of plots has made sense to me. Yes, I miss the silly filler episodes and the traveling the Gaang did, but it allows us to sit in a scene longer, and to colorize the world better, when we're in one place and one plot for longer. I think that's important for this type of medium and this amount of episodes. They might be able to justify more next season if this show does well enough.

-I am OBSESSED with Zuko and the 41st division oh my god, what a fantastic and well thought out addition. The reveal, and they're bowing for him when he comes back was DEVASTATING.

-They we're GIVING us Sokka and Katara best sibling moments, I loved all of them. They are so cute, they just mean so much to me.

-I don't feel Appa or Momo as characters like I did in the cartoon. I'm hoping this can change, because rn they surprise me every time they get on screen. I'm like "WHAT- oh it's Momo, he's here." How are we going to feel Appa's loss as much as we did in the cartoon if they continue to like barely be in it.

-Ken Leung SLAYED as Admiral Zhao, I watched him go literally insane as the episodes went on.

-Aang's imposter syndrome and feeling of failure being focused on I will always enjoy, even if I hope he can be silly next season too. His entire character arc this season just made me want to cry.

-Bro the coloring during the the Siege of the North was A M A Z I N G. The way the color faded in and out with fireballs and the monster koi passing nearby, just so pretty. It looked awesome.

-Making Yue a waterbender? The best. Her freezing Sokka in place so he can't stop her? Heartbreaking.

-Iroh and Zuko paddling off looking for bestie Lt. Jee?? Okay.

-They really grew this show up for us adults that watched it in 2005 and focused in on the really painful moments, themes, and details.

[solarwonux]

Business Proposal || knj (3/?)

pairing: namjoon x f!reader || ex friends to lovers!au friends to lovers!au

Genre: fluff, angst, smut, slow burn, fwb!au, non idol!au, unrequited love

Warnings: slow burn, angst, namjoon is pretty much not the nicest dude lol (will add more as it progresses), kinda sugar daddy au but not really. It will make sense I promise.

Rating: mature, 18+

w.c: 6.5k

Synopsis: Namjoon is living on borrowed time, and it’s time to cash in. His father is months from taking his last breathe and his life long dream is to watch his oldest son say “I do.”

prev || next || m.list

a/n: Kind off a filler chapter, but also let the drama commence we are literally just getting started haha. Again, I’m going to be pretty busy for the next month so I don’t know when I’ll upload another part. But I hope you like this one and as always lmk your thoughts. Thank you.xx

The knot in your throat is hard to ignore as you put away your belongings in cardboard boxes. The tiny apartment that served as your home is looking more barren with the more things you take down and pack. Jungkook always made fun of you for giving meaning to silly things and getting attached to them. He calls you a hoarder and maybe he is correct about you hoarding shit you don’t ever need, but you call yourself a collector.

Why else would you have twenty different pots and pans in different colors. Plates and bowls in different shapes, sizes and designs. And you don’t even want to think about all the mugs you’ve accumulated over the years. Or the little trinkets that are carefully scattered all over your apartment with purpose. Or the tiny shelves with miscellaneous pictures of different moments in your life. Your clothes are a different story you haven’t even made a dent in the pile sitting on top of your bed, and you’ve already packed two full suitcases.

You’re grateful for Jungkook, and that he’s here just looking at you with judgment instead of voicing his negative opinions about you not being able to let go of shit. Though, he keeps reminding you that most of your things might be put in storage anyway. Namjoon is very particular and according to Jungkook nothing cute or with colors other than indigo, black, white and beige exist in his apartment.

“What about this?” Jungkook holds out a tiny black rabbit figurine in between his thumb and forefinger. You got it at a street market a few years ago because you believed it would bring you good luck. Though, you aren’t sure where that luck has gone because you certainly have none of it right now.

“I’m keeping it.” You hold out your hand and he places it, in the middle of your palm rolling his eyes.  

“You’re going to have to get rid of something Bunny.” He says as his hands fall down by his sides in defeat. “My brother’s not going to let you keep any of this.” He signals to the many boxes you have already packed.

You shrug, folding up the last of your winter sweaters and placing them neatly in the box in front of you. “But I can still decorate my room how I want so I don’t care, plus I already got rid of some kitchenware.”

Jungkook sighs, “Yeah after I literally fought with you for an hour. And you still have so much of it, I don’t know how you expect Namjoon to agree to keeping an air fryer, a coffee machine, purple pans, that weird pot that kinda looks like a toy, and a hot pink blender. Don’t even get me started on the weird heart shaped bowls or that one plate that looks like cheese or the twenty five mugs you kept.” He lists with his fingers before running a hand through his hair. “I’m telling you he’s as minimalist as the word suggests.”

“Kookie, they're so cute I can’t get rid of them.” You argue, “plus they mean a lot to me.” You close the box in front of you and tape it shut. Last night you decided that all your winter stuff will be going into the storage unit in Namjoon’s apartment building. If what Jungkook says it’s true and that his brother literally has nothing. Then you can only assume so does his storage unit. Plus he’s already offered it to you.  

“They’re ceramic.”

“So, I got them all for a different purpose in different moments of my life therefore they mean a lot to me.” You say sternly and stand up.

“Whatever you say.” He puts his hands up in defeat and turns around to the shelf he had been working on taking down. “Honestly now I’m kinda glad you are going to be living with Joon, seeing him irritated is amusing.”

You roll your eyes moving to the pile on your bed. Putting away your summer clothes is next on your to-do list.

“Why do you have so many clothes anyway?” Jungkook whispers from behind you, making you groan, throwing the pale yellow shirt you have picked up in his direction.

“Why are you being so annoying today?”

Jungkook slyly smiles. It only irritates you more. He may be a full year older than you but sometimes he could be more annoying than your actual younger brother. “You can’t answer a question with a question.” He bites back, picking up a skimpy baby blue lace cheekster. “You’re going to wear this in front of my brother?” He cringes holding it out as if it were the plague.

The embarrassment is evident on your face as you snatch it away and throw it somewhere behind you. “If you’re not going to be of help, get out.” You spit out, avoiding his eyes as he bends over in laughter.

You let out an annoyed sigh, picking up an oversized blue button down and folding it. “

“I’m just fucking with you Bunny. You can wear whatever you want in front of my brother. Just give me a heads up before I walk in on the two of you–you know.” He gestures inappropriately with his hand, earning a glare from you, which only makes him laugh again.

“No I do not know because whatever you’re insinuating will never happen.”

“That’s what you say now.” He accuses, squinting his eyes in suspicion.

You pick up a lavender blouse with white flowers on it and throw it in his direction. “Make yourself useful and start folding.”

Jungkook smiles widely, throwing your blouse over your shoulder. He reaches out and pinches your cheek. You swat his hand away forcefully. He winks at you before saying, “You make it so easy to fuck with you, Bunny.” He starts folding your shirt and adds, “I thought I taught you better, where’s your back bone?”

“Keep talking and I’ll show you how well I remember all those self defense moves you taught me years ago.”

The pizza arrived at exactly ten. The movers had arrived an hour earlier, taking your bed, lounge chair, desk, kitchen table, kitchenware and old decorations. Everything else you had like your clothes and small miscellaneous things were in boxes waiting to be loaded into Jungkook’s car. Your old couch was on the curb waiting to be picked up by the donation trucks.

Now, you and Jungkook were sitting in your living room–old living room–with a Hawaiian pizza and two large beers in between the two of you. Your brother and his wife left as soon as the movers did. So, it was just a lonely last dinner in your apartment with Jungkook.

“You can always just move in with me.” Jungkook speaks up taking a big swing from his beer can. “I have like three spare mattresses and Bam recently learned to not get up on the couch without permission.” He mapped out, picking up another slice of pizza.

You throw the pineapple slice you have picked off into the box. As much as you had fought the shaggy haired man against his decision even bringing up your pineapple allergy. You had lost the very intense game of rock, paper scissors twenty minutes earlier.

“No thank you. I’d rather not be subjected to your 4am drunk karaoke sessions. Or wake up to you moaning in the kitchen because of food you’ve made.” You shrug, biting into your pizza slice. “Plus you bring too many people home with you and I enjoy my sleep.”

“I don’t do that anymore.” He shrugs, throwing the crust of the pizza into the box and grabbing another slice. It’s blasphemous how he loves pineapple on pizza–no hate to pineapple on pizza lovers, if you didn’t have a deadly pineapple allergy you’re sure you would love it–but he hates the best part of a pizza. Which is by far the crust.

“Which part?” You tilt your head to the side.

“Bringing people home. I stopped doing that years ago, Bunny, keep up.” He rolls his eyes, biting into his pizza and groaning as if it’s the most delicious thing ever.

You cringe. “This is what I mean. Why do you make everything sound so sexual?”

He swallows, “Why do you take everything so sexual?” He fights back, raising a knowing eyebrow at you.

“You can’t answer a question with a question.”

“You can’t answer my question by repeating my statement from earlier.”

You shake your head, grabbing his abandoned crust. “I take back everything I just said. This is the real reason as to why I can’t live with you.” You bite into it, smiling in delight.

“Cause’ I’m irresistible.” He winks.

“No, because you’re so annoying. I will never see a moment of peace.”

Jungkook laughs, throwing another perfectly edible crust into the box and grabbing another slice. “But you love me, right Bunny?”

You shake your head, swallowing and taking a swing from your beer. “Sadly, I do.”

Jungkook smiles, throwing you a thumbs up and a cheeky wink. You laugh, shaking your head in disbelief.

After a moment you look around your empty apartment, remembering how everything was perfectly laid out. The tiny frames of pictures of you, your family and your friends that used to decorate your walls. The abstract art piece that was hung on the wall behind your couch. Taehyung had gifted it to you after he disappeared for a few weeks in a crazy burst of inspiration. He said the bright colors reminded him of you, because somehow you always made him feel a little brighter no matter what.

You recall the little figurines that were placed on your useless tv unit because in the seven years that you lived in this apartment you never once bought a tv. They were miscellaneous things that were as useless as the unit but they meant a lot to you. Each one was handpicked by you for a purpose. The rabbit you had bought at a Lunar New Year market years ago. The ceramic watercolor-esque jewelry dish, you had found at a flea market. It was home to your crystals and not your actual jewelry, with the exception of your dad’s class ring that you had borrowed and never gave back.

Everything felt empty, even your fridge. It used to be decorated with magnets from places you had visited over the years. It had to-do lists and many sticky notes with affirmations written in ink splattered handwriting.

The night you first moved into the apartment it was hell. It was your first time living alone and every little sound sent a wave of panic through you. You had to call Taehyung, Jimin and Jungkook to sleep over because you wholeheartedly believed someone would break in. Eventually things got simpler and you made your spaces yours. You never thought you’d grow attached to such a place, but you spent many nights dancing with just your string lights on. Singing at the top of your lungs. And crying because you missed your parents and brother. It was your home and even though your lease was up soon. It felt strange to not renew it again.

It almost felt like you were leaving a piece of yourself behind. A piece you never knew you had discovered until now.

“Bunny, don’t cry.” Jungkook coos beside you. The pizza is long forgotten, the box thrown haphazardly to the side as he brings you into his arms. “I know it’s hard but if we are being honest here you were outgrowing this place.”

You sniff, placing your head on top of his shoulder. “I would’ve made more room.”

Jungkook chuckles, carding his hand down your back, sending shivers up your spine. “You would’ve become a crazy hoarder. There was barely any space with all the shit you had.”

“That’s mean.” You shove him lightly. After a while of silence you speak up again. “This was my home Jungkook. I knew that I was eventually going to move out but I thought it would be because I was getting married.”

“You are getting married.” He deadpans, making you shove him even harder. He laughs.

“This doesn’t count, you know it’s not real.”

Jungkook waves you off, cradling his stomach as he bends over laughing, making you roll your eyes. “I was just trying to lighten up the mood. You know you’re always welcome at my place.” He wraps his arms around your shoulders and brings you close again. “And I know things are rocky between you tweedle dee and tweedle dum. But Jimin and Taehyung will always have your back too.”

You sigh at the mention of Jimin’s name. It’s been two weeks since you last spoke to him and Taehyung. They have been ignoring your calls and texts. You’ve even thought about emailing them, but you’re well aware that neither of them have opened up their emails since college. You just hope that one day–soon–they’ll let you explain everything to them.

“I really hope so, Kookie.

Namjoon has been pacing in his living room since he woke up at four in the morning. He’s only had about four hours of sleep since he spent his entire afternoon and night clearing out his guest bedroom. It used to be his study, but he never once used it to do his work. The creaky old desk he got at a vintage shop a couple years ago was more of a showpiece. He had no issue parting ways with it. That was the easy part then came the bookshelf he once thought of using as a way to display his favorite artist books. But his research kept him occupied and he never once got around to it.

Parting ways with his books was something he never once thought he would have difficulty with. He made three piles; keep, maybe keep, give away. Everytime he put a book in the give away pile he would move it to the maybe pile and eventually the keep pile. It went on like this until midnight when he decided to abandon the task and go  to sleep. He didn’t expect his thoughts to wake him up at four in the morning. They were racing like they had some sort of urgency. And now he was wide awake in his living room with the same three piles, one overflowing more than the others.

If he had more space in his book shelves in the living room he would have no problem, but those shelves were also ones he needed to sort out. Not to mention the huge stack of to be read books occupying the space between his couch and favorite chair.

He doesn’t know how he let things get so out of hand. Though, everything seemed like a mess in his brain. Especially at this time at night. He knows if anything changed about where things were placed he would have a mental breakdown trying to look for something.

It's how things worked in his brain. It’s also probably the reason why he was unable to sleep. Now, because of his wild idea to have you move in with him. He knows things will change around his house. Apart from his vast collection of art, books and his plants, everything else in his apartment lacked any soul and emotion. He used to love coming home when he first moved in years ago, but slowly the light started to get sucked out of his place.

Subconsciously he knows that’s why he asked you to move in with him in the first place. It wasn’t his mom visiting unexpectedly or that carpooling to work would save him gas and his carbon footprint. It was because he missed coming home to something that had life.

That’s something he will never get himself to admit. Not outloud and especially not to himself. And now you’re set to arrive in fifteen minutes. He still hasn’t finished sorting out his books or done a very good job at pushing away that agonizing thought or the excitement and nerves. He’s been keeping himself occupied for hours but all he has done is wonder.

What do you look like when you go to sleep?

What do you look like when you wake up?

Do you still sleep with numerous stuffed animals?

Will you secretly place your little trinkets around his home without him noticing?

Do you eat breakfast or just have coffee?

Will you like having him around?

They’ve been moving so fast that he can’t grasp onto one. The second he brushes one off another one comes to the surface and it’s driving him insane. Sure, he doesn’t feel anything for you. Not then and certainly not now, but he is looking forward to getting to know you better. What makes you laugh and what makes you tick? Are you a stay at home person on the weekend? Or do you go out with your friends to catch up? Do you bring work home like he does? Or do you leave it all in the office and relax for the rest of the evening?

Again, these are thoughts he will never let himself admit out loud, but he has them and he just hopes they go away the second you ring his doorbell.

As if on cue, the chime brings him out of his daze. He puts down the current book he was holding–The Secret History by Donna Tartt. It’s the book you gave him for his birthday back then. You had read it about five times before giving it to him saying he would “absolutely love it.” Since then he’s read it numerous times. The paperback is fading a little bit; he's tried to get rid of it for years but for some reason he can never seem to get himself to do so.

He puts it in the keep pile and stands up. Rubbing his sweaty palms on his black cotton shorts, as he makes his way to the front door. He’s already had five cups of coffee but suddenly he feels the fatigue wash over him as soon as he puts his hand on his doorknob.

Namjoon takes a deep breath, pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose and opens the door, revealing a very casual looking you. You’re wearing gray sweatpants, a black tank top with a white knitted cover up. Jungkook and his signature black on black outfit stands by your side.

This is the moment he realizes that a new chapter of his book is about to commence.

Whoever told Namjoon that living on the top floor of the highest building in the world–note exaggeration–should be held responsible for the back ache you’re surely going to be dealing with at night.

It’s taken about ten trips for you, Jungkook, Namjoon and the movers to get all of your stuff inside of Namjoon’s home. It also doesn’t help that the owner of the very bland looking home keeps barking orders to not scratch the floors and watch for the art hanging on his walls. Understandable, but he could at least be a bit nicer. After all it’s his fault you’re in this mess in the first place.

“How can someone have so much shit?” Namjoon seethes as he places your last box in his living room. It’s not even an organized mess anymore. It’s downright a mess and he is close to losing it.

Jungkook laughs, taking a well deserved break on his couch, feet on top of his black coffee table. “You should’ve seen all the shit she didn’t keep.” He says, stretching his arms up and overhead. “This isn’t even half of it. You should be thanking me for convincing her to give away all the shit she didn’t need or use and she still kept some of it.”

“Hey,” you give Jungkook a pointed stare. “Everything has its purpose, sooner or later I was going to use them.”

“You didn’t need fifty different mugs. You literally only ever used the same five. And you didn’t need all those little ceramic figurines that absolutely served no purpose.” Jungkook argues, crossing his arms in front of him. He hasn’t slept and he has you to thank because all you did during the night while you stayed at his house was pace back and forth and clean his already clean apartment.

He understands that you were nervous but you could’ve been a little quieter or you could’ve let him sleep. Instead, you woke him up to keep you company while you rambled on and on and on about how this was a horrible idea. But what was he supposed to say? Everything he wanted to tell you, he had already said. In order to avoid sounding like a broken record he just listened to you rant while moving in and out of consciousness.

“Please tell me you didn’t bring fifty mugs to my house.” Namjoon says, scrunching his eyebrows and putting his hands on his hips. You sit on the floor in front of a box labeled kitchen and open it up.

“No, just twenty five of them.”

Namjoon sighs, running a hand through his hair. This was already starting out on a bad note. He only has one mug for his coffee and it’s been very useful since he’s moved in. He forgets that even though he’s a minimalist in some ways. You’re a maximist. Your bedroom back home was proof enough.

Your desk was always filled with crap and numerous journals. Your walls had different kinds of posters and tiny strips of pictures you had taken with your friends on a night out in whatever photobooth you could find. He doesn’t want to even get into the stuffed animals or the twenty different pillows you kept on your bed when you only slept with one.

He supposes some things just never change.

“We don’t need twenty five different mugs, or–” He looks into the box he had set on the kitchen counter and sighs, “--six different pans.” He brings out a white and purple one and another one the same color just slightly bigger. Your colorful aura is already clashing with his monochrome one. He has no idea if they will mix well.

“Believe me, you say that now, but I can guarantee you that one day you’re going to be searching for a specific pan while cooking and you’re going to thank me for keeping these.” The words spill out of your mouth with confidence and he can’t help but roll his eyes. Out of spite he will do everything in his power to make sure that day never comes.

Jungkook stands up and claps his hands in front of him. “Alright idiots, I have a date in like two hours, so we either get your bed built Bunny or you sleep on this lovely couch.” He interrupts in pointing to Namjoon’s not so comfy looking couch.

You stand up, trying to keep your mouth from going agape, this was certainly a huge surprise. Jungkook simply didn’t date. “With who?” You walk to him with your hands on your hips. Namjoon and your mugs have been completely forgotten.

“With my bed.” He winks and you groan. You knew it was too good to be true. “Now, come on, I don't understand why you picked the most complicated bed frame to build. There are more screws than anything I’ve ever gotten from IKEA and as simple as they try to make the instructions it still takes me five hours to build one shelf.” He walks past you and into the hallway leading up to rooms.

“They are easy to understand, you're just an idiot.” Namjoon speaks up, and you bite your lip to keep yourself from laughing. This is how things were back then, clowning on Jungkook together. They were simple before feelings were involved, and you only wonder that if you kept your mouth shut would things still be that way.

Except you know that deep down they wouldn’t because neither of you would be in this situation. You can’t decide if that’s a good thing or a bad thing. Whatever the answer to that is, you don’t want to find out, even more so now.

You ignore Namjoon’s comment and follow in Jungkook’s footsteps. The last thing you want is for him to break your beloved bedframe and you end up on Namjoon’s couch until you can afford to buy a new one. It’s this moment in particular that you miss Taehyung and Jimin the most. (Though, since falling out everything made you miss them.)  It took them a full hour to assemble it together with minimal complaints. You know it would’ve taken them nothing to take it apart, but now you will never know.

Jungkook stayed true to his word and left one hour later than when he said he would. It took him and Namjoon fighting a couple of times for your bed frame to finally be complete. And during his final hour before he left on his date. He helped you move the rest of your furniture into the room, including your precious desk, armchair and the numerous boxes of clothes books and decorations you had packed.  

During this time, Namjoon had barely spoken to you, except for the occasional “pass me the (insert name of tool,)” he directed towards you. Then he disappeared into the kitchen while you instructed Jungkook on where to place your belongings. Now, the filter was gone and you were left alone in a hollowed out house with its equally hollowed out owner.

You were keeping yourself occupied with hanging up your clothes when you heard a crash followed by a curse of pain coming from the kitchen. On instinct you ran out to find Namjoon holding his foot, mumbling profanities.

You swallow, placing your hands inside the pocket of your sweatpants. “Are you okay?”

Namjoon looks up, eyes full of water as he quickly releases his foot and clears his throat. “Umm, yeah, I just dropped one of your pots on my foot.” He brushes off, proceeding to pick up the pot Jungkook claims looks like a toy and places it on the counter. “I hope you don’t mind that I started to unpack the kitchen stuff. All the boxes were kind of driving me a little crazy.” He scratches the back of his neck, then points to the empty stack of boxes by the couch.

You shake your head. “Just show me where everything is so I don’t go crazy looking for shit tomorrow morning.” You say, walking towards the kitchen and stopping once you get to the other side of the counter.

He nods, and proceeds to move around. “Mugs and cups go here.” He opens the cabinet above the stove, showing you how neatly he arranged your colorful array of mugs by color and size. “The plates are here.” He moves over one cabinet and opens it, revealing three wooden racks full of your plates and his plates. “And I put the bowls up there. I know it's hard to reach but we can get a step stool or something.” He shrugs and then moves around the counter standing beside you. “You didn’t have a lot of utensils but the ones I found I put in here.” He opens up a drawer, and as expected everything was organized as neatly as possible in one of those kitchen drawer organizers. Forks, spoons, knives and chopsticks had their own compartment. You took note as you didn’t want to mess anything up.

If you were going to be living with him until further notice. Stepping on his toes and messing with his organization was something you didn’t intend on doing.

“I was just getting started on putting the pots and pans away, also I don’t know where to put your knife set since I already have one.” He says pointing to the box containing your pastel colored set of knives. Maybe you should’ve listened to Jungkook when he said you actually didn’t need them. They were just too cute to let go.

“That’s fine.” You wave your hand, discreetly taking two steps away from him. “Do you want any help?”

Namjoon pauses for a moment after he closes the drawer. He looks at the marble countertop in front of him in thought and then you. His gaze is hardened and unreadable. A look you’ve come to familiarize yourself with in the past few days that you’ve had to spend with him. It’s one he uses when the two of you are alone. You won’t lie, it annoys you a little.

“No, that’s okay. I was just going to put them in the cabinet next to the sink.” He speaks up before rounding the corner and standing in his original spot. You nod and take a step back.

“I guess I’ll be in my room unpacking. Don’t continue dropping things on your foot.” Your attempt at a joke goes ignored as he gives you a deadpan look before focusing his attention on the pot in front of him.

It’s strange how he hasn’t continued to complain about you having so much stuff. Or how he hasn’t declined anything you brought with you. He’s simply accepted it and is finding space for it. The complete opposite of what you imagined he would do. Once again he’s rendered you speechless and  you have no idea if that’s a good thing or a bad thing.

“I’ll try not to.”

It’s around two in the morning when you finally leave your new room. Namjoon’s living room–well you suppose it is now your living room too–is vacant. You let out a sigh of relief. The only reason why you left your room in the first place was because your stomach was growling and you couldn’t sleep.

You aren’t sure if Namjoon is asleep or if he’s in his room avoiding you all together. Could he really be just as childish as you? You want to believe the answer to that question is a big fat yes. But then again that’s only because you want to make yourself feel like you're not the only coward now living in this house.  

Still, he didn’t come seeking you after he briefly showed you around the kitchen. So, maybe you aren’t the only one who just doesn’t know what to say to the other person. How do you simply start a conversation without bringing up your past together?

There are so many things left unsaid. So many things that happened that night that have haunted you for years. So many things that broke down your character as everything unfolded right before your eyes. A part of you blames him for what ended up happening. Though, that’s only because it was easier to blame him than to blame yourself.

Even if your therapist and Jimin and Jungkook told you that nothing was your fault. It still felt like it was, especially because you only wanted to piss off Namjoon more than you already had. Maybe then he would finally have a reason to hate you, but again, he’s never really known what happened apart from your fight.

Nor, do you think you can tell him. In fear that he would look at you differently and put the blame on you. Just like you have done for years.

“You couldn’t sleep either?” Namjoon’s voice sounds from behind you, making you jump. You turn around meeting his piercing eyes as he makes his way into his kitchen.

“Nope, it’s a new space so everything feels weird.” You shrug, taking a seat on one of the island stools. “And I’m hungry.” You add, thinking it will somehow help your already valid reason.

Namjoon nods before opening his fridge. “I ordered chicken earlier, but I wasn’t sure if you wanted some or wanted me to bother you, but I saved you some.” He takes out the box and places it on the counter, moving around expertly before taking out one of your pans. See you knew they would come in handy. “I’ll heat it up for you.” He places it on the stove and turns the dial to a medium heat.

Your eyes grow wide as you start to get up. “You don’t have to, I can do it myself.”

Namjoon doesn’t have to face you, for you to know he’s rolled his eyes at your comment. “I don’t, but it gives me something to do. I’m not tired.” He shrugs, hovering his hand over the middle of the pan, to check if it was hot. Once he deems it hot enough he reaches over and grabs the leftover box of the chicken, dumping the sweet and sour delights into the pan.

You choose not to reply to him and instead look around. There were only a few boxes left for you to unpack, most of them being miscellaneous decoration pieces you had collected over the years. You know that as much as Namjoon didn’t mind having your kitchen ware mingle with his. You knew he wasn’t going to let you mess around with his minimalist aesthetic. Maybe you would just have to slowly find space for them. But maybe it was best that you didn’t. A couple of days ago he made it pretty clear that you weren’t something permanent in his life. So, why pretend like you were?

“Mom wanted us to go to brunch tomorrow, but I told her no. I figured you wanted to finish settling down before work on Monday.” Namjoon speaks up over the sizzling sound of the chicken.

Your head snaps to face him. “You didn’t have to do that, I could’ve finished unpacking over the week.”

Namjoon looks over at you and shakes his head. Before you can snap at him for whatever reason he speaks up. “You told me to keep in mind that you are your own person and that I can’t keep making decisions for you, and when I consider how you may feel about living things unfinished you tell me that I could’ve done the opposite of what you asked.” He reaches over and turns off the knob and turns to face you. “I don’t understand you.”

The audacity he has to spring up a decision he made like it was for your betterment is impalpable. Somehow him being somewhat considerate and listening to you, but at the same time not listening to you makes you want to scream. Instead, you close your eyes, feeling your appetite run away from you. “Yet, you just did exactly that.”

Namjoon tilts his head in confusion, taking the pan off the stove and bringing it over to where you’re sitting. “How? I did exactly what you wanted me to do. I told her no because I knew you would be tired after a whole day of moving.” He places down a heat mat and puts the pan over it.

You shake your head in disbelief. “No, you decided for me. You didn’t tell me your mother invited us over for brunch and instead told her we couldn’t go because I was going to be too tired when you don’t even know that.” You eye him as he takes out a pair of chopsticks. He stops once the words you’ve said sink in and glares at you.

“I don’t know what you want me to do? I agreed to meet you in the middle, I even agreed to your ridiculous list of demands and when I do, you say that that’s not what you wanted.” He places the chopsticks in front of you and scoffs.

You cross your arms in front of you. “But you didn’t meet me in the middle. Meeting me in the middle would be telling me that your mom invited us over and then hearing what I had to say about it. But instead you decided for me, you’re still not understanding.”

Namjoon groans, running a frustrated hand through his already messy bedhead. “Then please spell it out for me because I’m trying but you always have to fucking complicate things.”

“I’m not the one complicating things here. It’s simple, you only have to tell me things and then I’ll decide what I want or don’t want.”

Namjoon signs leaning his forearms on his marble counter, his arm veins popping out as he grips edge trying to regulate his anger. “This is exactly why?”

“Why what?” You push yourself off the chair, leaving your untouched chicken as you push in the stool.

“Why I would never marry you. You look too much into things and when someone calls you out on it you blame them. You’re just too difficult to deal with.” He says through clenched teeth.

You dig your nails into the palms of your hand. He has the nerve to throw one of your biggest insecurities back at you. It’s the reason why all of your past serious relationships have ended. Apart from the fact that they’ve always gotten bored and found someone new. It’s also the reason why your childhood best friends aren’t talking to you. You’re too much to deal with. So, why are you here in the first place?

“Then why did you come up with this whole elaborate plan?” Your voice is just above a whisper as you angrily keep yourself as composed as possible.

Namjoon pushes himself off the counter and stalks over to you. “I already told you because it’s not permanent. Trust me if my father had more time you wouldn’t be standing here.” He spits out and stops in front of you. “You’re not someone worthy of spending a life with.”

Your breath gets caught in the back of your throat as you blink back tears. This shouldn’t be affecting you as much as it is.  Especially because it’s something he’s hinted at since he first proposed the plan to you. But for some reason it does, especially his last comment. He knows that one of your biggest dreams is to get married and start a family. He also knows that all your previous partners have left you for the same reason. And he also knows that it will hurt you if he keeps repeating it. Almost as if he believes that you don’t understand how serious he is about keeping you as a temporary placement in his life.

Back then you would’ve yelled and cried. Yet, that girl was broken down and replaced as quickly as it took him to leave you and all the memories you shared together behind. So, you stand your ground, burning holes into his dragon like eyes and say, “Trust me when I say that you’re the person I hate the most in this world. That I might be difficult but you’re impossible. Your head is so big that you can’t see that the reason why you can’t seem to keep anyone around is because you push them away thinking you’re better than everyone else. It’s the reason why you might keep the money from your dad’s will but also the reason why you will end up alone.”

When you finish you can tell he’s taken your words to heart, that much you know from the fire burning behind his perfect brown eyes. Instead of responding he does the one thing you never expected him to do.

He kisses you.

a/n: lol I’m sorry. 

[shinneth]

My souring sentiments on Sailor Moon's manga

It'll be a surprise to no one who knows me even remotely that Sailor Moon was my everything back in my childhood. From the age of 9, I was utterly obsessed with it.

That was just a couple of years shy of 30 years ago.

Since then, I've often revisited the series. I watched the entirety of the Viz dub of the classic anime; all 200 episodes.

And I loved it all the same, if not more so than before. Because now I have context for why exactly the anime was the way it was, including its gradual diversion from the manga source material. And I respect the hell out of the staff who poured their life into this work, while concurrently running with the manga and doing whatever it could to not completely outpace it in the narrative.

Are there a lot of fillers in the OG anime? Yes. Too many? Well, not so from a functional standpoint (this show had to run weekly for 5 years), but there are definitely some fillers you could skip and miss nothing in doing so.

But a story like Sailor Moon honestly needed some breathing room in order to properly flesh out the cast.

Pretty Guardian Sailor Moon, the live-action reimagining of the show, was phenomenal back then (despite looking low-budget even by 2003 standards), and having re-watched the whole series recently, I can safely say PGSM more than holds up and deserves way more love and respect than it gets. It's THE perfect example of reimagining the story of Sailor Moon while still respecting its roots and maintaining the soul of the franchise.

Which is exactly why I couldn't stand Sailor Moon Crystal. We knew from the off that it was supposed to be completely faithful to the manga, but one look through @crystalvsmanga will show you Crystal took shitloads of "creative liberties", and the amount of changes I could dare to call "good"? I could count them on one hand.

The animation is low-hanging fruit, because everyone and their dog knows how godawful it was for the first two story arcs. But more than that, I actually loathed the general art design. Yukie Sakou's style DID NOT closely resemble Naoko Takeuchi's. People kept saying it, but I couldn't really see it. The eyes especially are a far cry from Takeuchi's style. And Sakou's style did NOT facilitate the OTT cartoony expressions that were definitely present in Takeuchi's manga; everyone looked so goddamn soulless, like overly-expensive porcelain dolls.

My biggest gripe with Crystal was the story, of course. While a great deal came from just being from the manga (which I'll get to in a bit), the changes they made went a long way to actively make the manga's story worse. My main takeaway from Crystal S1-2 is that it took itself waaaaay too seriously.

That being said, I did like Crystal's third season a lot better BECAUSE Chiaki Kon had way more competence and held a lot more respect for Sailor Moon. Like, my god, for once it felt like there was a soul in this show! It can actually take the piss every now and then!

Some silly things kinda broke my immersion (such as the Senshi just being able to fuckin' fly and Chibi-Moon in particular was literally sky-stepping), but most of that can be blamed on the source material it was adapting. While I was fine with Crystal3, I definitely didn't feel it was anywhere near as good as Sailor Moon S. Outside of Hotaru/Sailor Saturn having more of a presence, there wasn't really much in Crystal's take on Infinity that I liked better than S.

But most of that comes down to the fact that I liked S more than manga's Infinity arc to begin with.

Which is a good segue to talk about the manga proper.

I have not yet watched Eternal or Cosmos. the movies that adapted the last two manga arcs, but it'd be redundant since I know ahead of time what they're going to be about, and so far I haven't heard about any of them deviating from the source material, so it'd be moot to talk about them even if I had watched.

When I first got my hands on the manga, which was when I was around 12-13 and thus got the crappy MiXxZine translations, I was fine enough with it. Thought it was too fast-paced and didn't care for 99% of the villains being one-and-done jobbers, but I was also reading it with my impressions of the 90's anime characters still intact. I was reading the manga like an extension of the anime, rather than the other way around.

It wasn't until many years later when I grew older, when the manga was properly translated, when I acquired the wisdom my teenaged-ass self lacked, and learned to look at the manga as a completely separate entity that I started to see the cracks in the manga's narrative.

Further rereads have left me in something of a mindfuck, as I experienced the manga the proper way. And I realized:

The more I read the manga, the more I disliked it.

The manga is lauded for having an infinitely better depiction of Mamoru, as well as his ~Miracle Romance~ with Usagi.

Objectively, the manga definitely spends lots more time giving UsaMamo attention as a couple than any other aspect of the story...

I'd say they're also more developed as individuals in the manga too, but usually the beats, uh...

... let's say they usually ring hollow, when these two (and sometimes their daughter) are the only ones who consistently get shit done across the series. Hell, on the rare occasion that the Inner Senshi weren't rendered into street pizza, Neo Queen Serenity basically told them to fuck off and let her daughter, past self, and past hubby take on motherfucking DEATH PHANTOM/NEMESIS BY THEMSELVES.

It's likely because my first exposure to Sailor Moon was via the 90s anime, which had more of a focus on friendship and comradery between Usagi and her friends than it did her romance with Mamoru. I mean, romance was DEFINITELY a prominent thing even in that iteration of the story, but that wasn't where my interest lied. I was, am currently, and always will be more interested in Usagi's galpals than I'll ever be interested in her love life.

And, well, I'm sure this qualifies as a hot take, but...

This one moment with Usagi and Mamoru in the elevator (hell, their interaction across this entire episode was great) resonated with me far more than any ultra-romantic declarations of eternal devotion that Usagi and Mamoru kept regurgitating at each other in the manga.

Granted, the manga had a FEW moments early on where their dynamic was more playful, but they were pretty much confined to the early chapters and this element of their chemistry pretty much died not long after this.

Some say 90s anime Mamoru was far too mean-spirited in his teasing of Usagi. And I mean, sure, he was kind of a douche at times, but he usually got some karmic blowback from it (I remember one time he made Usagi cry without even really meaning to, and she cried so loud in public that randos nearby were giving Mamoru the evil-eye or a scolding). But honestly, after R, Mamoru kinda became a bland, generic love interest, just as he almost always was in the manga. The only difference was that anime Mamoru was never granted powers that were literally equal to Usagi's. The manga gave him a GOLDEN FUCKING CRYSTAL.

There was that infamous break-up arc in R that, yes, was shitty in concept and execution. But if I had anything positive to say about it, it at least shook up the status quo. It didn't make him immediately fall into the bland, generic love interest he would soon become. And it gave us some of the most emotionally-charged Usagi moments in the entire anime.

Conversely, in the manga, we had THIS shit for our UsaMamo "drama":

(the former incident with Usagi literally accusing her boyfriend of falling in love with a kid, by the way, happened while MOST OF HER FRIENDS WERE KIDNAPPED BY THE ENEMY AND COULD'VE BEEN DEAD FOR ALL SHE KNEW AND YET SHE FUCKING HAD TIME FOR THIS STUPID SHIT)

Everything seemed to revolve around Usagi and Mamoru (sometimes Chibiusa too). It lowkey came off that way at times even in the 90s anime, but in the manga or Crystal? You'd be hard-pressed to find the girls engaging in their stated hobbies at most points in time, because they're usually all together and talking about their prince and princess.

Hell, even Haruka - Sailor Uranus herself - seemed much more interested in Usagi than she ever did in Michiru, her actual girlfriend.

So... am I just missing something? I've seen people say that as they grow older, they prefer the manga/Crystal to the 90s anime. But I've never seen anyone other than myself express the opposite sentiment.

But it's true - unless I completely leave my brain at the door, I have a hard time enjoying the manga for what it is. The characters I'm most interested in or attached to quickly get swept aside for the characters I have the least interest in. No more does that ring true than the Stars arc of the manga, where Naoko Takeuchi basically speedruns killing off literally the entire cast until Sailor Moon's the only one left standing. Most characters don't even get to go out in a blaze of glory or anything - it's got nothing on the finale of the 90s anime's first season in that regard. If you're lucky, you'll get a single panel where your entire existence is ripped to shreds - but sometimes you'll be killed literally off-screen!!

There's a number of questionable manga-exclusive aspects that rubbed me the wrong way as well, such as poor Sailor Pluto being assigned as a child to guard the Door of Time in complete and total solitude. While I appreciate more Silver Millennium lore that the manga provided (the anime hardly mentioned it past the first arc), it was more than a little uncomfortable knowing the OG Queen Serenity conscripted the Inner Senshi as small children to become Princess Serenity's guardians. Really casts Queen Serenity and her Moon Kingdom in a much darker light - like maybe Queen Beryl and Queen Nehelenia had a point in trying to take them down (though the manga I believe retcons all past villains as incarnations of Chaos, so that arguably removes all prior villains' agency?). Lots of little things that I didn't think twice about, but now that I look at them again, I'm wondering WTF Naoko Takeuchi was thinking.

Though I don't want to be too hard on her. Poor girl was working under stress far longer than she'd planned to (she'd intended on ending the story either by the Dark Kingdom or Black Moon arc), so it's no surprise there's a lot of clunk and clutter in the narrative.

I often wondered if Naoko Takeuchi really wanted to make Sailor Moon with a Super Sentai-esque setup in the first place. After all, her first big hit was Sailor V, which was exclusively Minako and Artemis fighting evil with Minako having her own masked love interest she ended up being at odds with and he eventually died. With a scant few secondary characters here and there.

It led to me thinking about what Sailor Moon would be like if Naoko kept the cast to a more Sailor V-like size. That, perhaps, the Sailor Moon she really wanted to make would be quite a different beast from how we know it to be today.

So this lengthy diatribe about my personal conflicts with my waning fondness for the manga versus my strengthened love for the OG anime and live-action show was actually a preamble to a bizarre AU I wrote an outline for over a year ago but never posted in public. I had considered posting it to Sailor Moon's Reddit back then, but I (probably wisely) held off, as my musing went way off the rails.

But I figured now's a good time as any to share it here, at least. Though it'll need to be its own post since I wrote so goddamn much in this post alone, wow.

On that note, I'll end with this: The only iteration of UsaMamo that I unironically enjoyed and rooted for is...

[estcaligo]

I've just created the most perfect Haters to Lovers (Sebek x Prefect) playlist💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚

Can't believe I can spend an entire hour of my life giggling and kicking my feet while listening to this immaculate playlist

There are alternative endings in this playlist, read below :)

Listening guide (yes I can't just enjoy music, it must be a story, a journey) or rather some notes

I love how the vibes are so different in this playlist, but each song is necessary for the narration haha

- The first track is just the general vibe

- THE SECOND ONE IS LITERALLY PERFECT HELLO

- To be honest, I associate Sick Thoughts more with SebeSil, but I put it here because Sebek is definitely having some sick thoughts anyway lol

- THE FOURTH IS PERFECT 2.0

- Then comes some kind of transition, I just needed a filler track

- Think about the first part as their first year (the haters stage), but after this track, they kinda start to admit their feelings, aka season 2

- And One More Night is literally them

- Then everything lightens up, I guess, yay

Now about the last two tracks! In my head, there are two endings in this playlist:

Bad Ending - Crowley found a way to send the Prefect home, and now they are only a memory. She can't go back.

Good Ending - She stays, and Sebek makes it clear what he has been wanting most💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚

[by-ethan-fox]

So I saw Gundam Seed FREEDOM...

... and honestly it defies analysis.

I will avoid spoilers for major plot elements in this write-up.

I'm a huge Gundam fan. This shouldn't come as a surprise to anyone who has followed my work for a long time, as I frequently bring it up, even in entirely inapplicable situations.

But even though I've been a fan since the late 90s, I'd never had a chance to see any of it in the cinema - so when AllTheAnime organised a special short run of the movie for UK theatres, I jumped at the chance.

What I saw surprised me.

To clarify, I'm not one of those Gundam fans who hates SEED. Sure, I love the UC, but I'm not gonna lie, Wing was my genesis within the fandom so I'm as likely to watch G-Gundam as 08th MS Team, though I do lean towards the grittier side of the franchise, with War in the Pocket being my favourite entry.

But most relevant to this is that while I enjoyed SEED, I've always been critical of Destiny for some really bizarre plotting that, frankly, kinda left the CE timeline in a mess. Like many fans, with the show having been off the air for nearly two decades, I gave up on the idea the movie might exist literally years ago.

With all that out of the way...

The movie does exist. Finally. And is it good? Bad?

The weird thing is I don't know what to say, and that's weird for a writer.

It's awesome. It's terrible. It's goofy. It's clever. It's idiotic. It's bizarre.

But it's over 2 hours long and, honestly, I was never bored, which I guess is a success?

Perhaps most surprisingly, the movie expends ZERO ENERGY on helping you if you haven't seen the near-100-episodes of CE anime which came before this. Like, if you haven't seen SEED and or Destiny, you are just utterly fucked. The show wheels characters and plot-beats from the prior material in-and-out in a manner I could best call aggressive. I last watched Destiny about ~7 years ago, and I'm a self-admitted Gundam nerd; but even I had to look up a few things on my phone afterwards.

Then, fan-service. Of both kinds. All sorts of things get pulled out of cold storage for the movie... But it works. Though that also stands as a testament to how this is, in the truest sense, a 2004 anime throwback. I actually heard some people in the cinema groaning at some of the Gainax Bouncing going on; but then given the jiggly silhouette in EVERY OPENING TO SEED, frankly it would've been stranger if it had been absent.

I think the movie has loads of problems. Even by CE standards, some of the storytelling was really goofy and dare-I-say-it, "cringe". It recycles probably too much and certainly doesn't stand on its own as a piece of media (though that's not so much a failing as a clear, conscious choice).

Also... It has that "anime movie" thing where the plot feels a bit filler. The first time you have this new guy on the scene with shock-white hair, being all edgelord as he talks about war and destiny and fencing or some other weird metaphor you kinda see the entire movie unfurl before you. If you're a longtime anime fan this isn't so much your first rodeo as your daily commute.

From there, the story takes numerous predictable turns, dips liberally into melodrama, sets up some great Mobile Suit fights, with relatively few surprises (note, however, I'm not saying "no surprises", as there are some, and also, I'm not suggesting it's tedious).

And yet...

It's fun.

It's really, really fun.

That's the crux of all this. That's what really matters. And honestly, when that new theme comes out of the speakers, sounding in perfect key with the types of music that ran through SEED's run, and Kira's onscreen, and he's locking onto a dozen targets and beams are spamming everywhere and everything's exploding in that weird pink way that things in SEED explode...

Have you ever tried to play a videogame from the 90s that you haven't played in years? And do you know how touch-and-go that is?

Gundam Seed FREEDOM is, if I'm to compare it to anything, like that.

But thankfully, it's one of the times when your memories might have been optimistic, but they're not wrong. That game may be a bit crude, a bit rough around the edges, and have more boob and ass jiggle than you recall... But it's good. So good that you find yourself sitting cross-legged on the floor in front of your console, grinning like an absolute loon, until it's 2am and you can no longer feel your feet.

If you have fond memories of the SEED era of the Gundam franchise, don't miss it.

[madeby-meru]

thoughts on ep4

im gonna try to be as positive & optimistic as possible here cause i already have a rant in this post lol

spoilers for episode 4 ahead + thomas' illustration !!

i need to start off by saying that i actually enjoyed this episode waaaay more than i was expecting so honestly kudos to the team for that. was it cringey? absolutely. did it give me horrible second hand embarassment? absolutely x2. did it also give me ideas to theorize and make headcanons? absolutely x3. the whole roy and brune thing was... something, i guess. it was weird and honestly kinda childish and more like a teenager attempt at a relationship than two functioning adults but hey it was kinda funny and it make me feel a lot more interested in brune ngl, i really hope we get to actually befriend her and see more of her (and same with elanda, she was very funny in this episode and although the nosyness bothered me at times i still love her sm). i went for thomas' route in this episode so ill focus on him, although i saw a bit of devon's too. thomas' scenes were honestly so cute and sweet??? i looooooved the bike ride and every interaction with him feels, meaningful? idk his dialogue is interesting and it just makes me more and more curious about him. i get the feeling that it's gonna be a very adorable and sentimental route and honestly im soooo down for it (got my second acount readyyy for him) the snippets i saw of devon's scene were honestly not my vibe but i think it's mostly cause the "dating your boss" thing creeps me out a lil so i don't enjoy the flirting lmao

HOWEVER i do have to complain about something and that is the spanish translation, i need someone to go check up on the translation team cause this episode had one too many bad translations. i have already accepted that the dialogues are gonna be cringey and sound completely unnatural, but some of these dialogues are embarassing man: "no es ducho" (*ik that this is a real expression but who tf under the age of 70 uses this outside of academia) "Esta podria ser una foto robada" "en la persona de (player name)" "soy mas bien tocón" can we stop translating things literally? can we have someone that actually speaks the language to revise these things? beemoov please pay your transaltors better (or hire natives for the love of fuck)

(and last thing i want to complain about, the amount of filler dialogue to waste APs is actually insane, most of the last lines of dialogue of the episode were completely unnecesary. i promise there are better ways to get money from the players)

leaving thomas' illustration here cause its my favorite in the episode and my man looks so hot in his biker fit

[higuchisora]

As mentioned before, I'll be sharing my top 10 anime characters that could solo my beloved sweet baby boy Binghe. This is both serious and not at all serious. Disclaimer: I love him, he's my good son, but he also needs some competition to keep his head nice and deflated. I'm sticking with 1 character per show to keep things fresh. Also "anime" is a... loosely used term here lmao. Also also, manga/LN spoilers ahead for some shows.

Without further ado (and in no particular order):

10. Uzumaki Naruto (and friends)

Definitely the most obvious so I'm putting it first. Honestly the Naruto cast could've had its own top 10, but rules are rules. That Talk No Jutsu is fucking lethal. If he couldn't TedTalk Binghe into a reluctant friendship, he'd rock his shit first and THEN befriend him. Without so much as a filler episode.

I'm of the mind that any Kage-level character could wipe the floor with my son, Mano y Mano. But even a solid jonin team would have some serious hands for him.

9. Saitama from One Punch Man

I haven't watched the full thing, but ending careers with 1 punch is literally his job, so I'm taking this one on good faith that he'd also be fast enough to catch Binghe at all.

8. Yoriichi from Demon Slayer

The only thing that could defeat this man was his own sadness. He'd clap TLJ and then come for Binghe without so much as a snack break.

7. Hua Cheng from TGCF (yes I know it's a donghua shut up)

Call me biased, I don't care. Hua Cheng would obliterate this man without even thinking about it. He'd laugh, too, because he's an asshole. And then go home to bang Xie Lian.

6. Rimuru from That Time I Got Reincarnated as a Slime

I don't like this man or this show. But no one can tell me he wouldn't just. Eat Binghe. Like full vore, as is canon of his abilities. He's done it with physically larger targets and succeeded, he could do it for some pretty boy. Binghe wouldn't even be the first demon king he's fought.

5. Aang from The Last Airbender

I SAID WHAT I SAID. Specifically in his Avatar State, I firmly believe he'd clap Binghe if led to believe it was absolutely necessary. Like the literal world ending. He exorcised a man when he was 12, I think Aang at his peak could handle an emo boy in need of an exorcism.

4. Saiki Kusuo from the Disastrous Life of Saiki K.

He'd dust Binghe out of existence before homie even knew what hit him. Argue with the wall.

3. Yumiella Dolkness from Villainess Level 99

I don't even really like her, but considering she's taken on a demon king of her own before, and is capable of making black holes big enough to swallow cities without breaking a sweat, she'll at least be a worthy opponent.

2. Kumoko/D from So I'm a Spider, So What?

Literally a god. The world-ending kind, and that's when she's being chill about it. Hell, I wouldn't be surprised if she ended up being in control of the System tormenting poor SQQ and SQH. She's not as advanced in the anime, but in the light novel ending a world is literally light work. She's done it before and she'll do it again.

1. Mash Burnedead from Mashle

I haven't even caught up 100% with this show but I don't care. It doesn't even matter that Mash can't do magic. Actually, it's precisely BECAUSE he can't do magic that I firmly believe he deserves a place on this list because that just means this human dude is just Built Different. Binghe would throw a bunch of spiritual/demonic energy attacks at him and Mash would just bitch slap it out of the way. And then bitch slap Binghe. Worst part is that he wouldn't even realize they're fighting for real, which would permanently ruin Binghe's self esteem, IMO.

Honorable mentions:

Gabimaru from Hell's Paradise

I don't think he COULDN'T take Binghe on, just that it's unlikely he'd survive, honestly. Cultivation is real in their world kinda, and from what I've watched he's not yet capable of taking one on by himself 100%. But he's tenacious and skilled, so he'd at least get a few good ones in before Binghe smokes him. With a good crew and a battle plan, he'd be able to lock an average Binghe under a mountain.

Sailor Moon

The only reason she isn't on top 10 is because I'm not confident in her ability to take hits. She's great at dishing them out, but in the event Binghe manages to get a good whack in, I feel like it'll be over for her. I don't think she's fast enough to reliably dodge the whole time either. Plus, I barely remember the OG show, so it's kind of odd to be comparing her to stuff like Naruto, which I know well.

Hina from Hinamatsuri

Just offer a lifetime supply of red caviar and Binghe's a dead man. That being said, I don't think she'd walk away unscathed. This battle would mostly be dictated by how it starts. If she has the element of surprise, he's dead. If Binghe is suitably enraged (say, Xin Mo possession style), Hina's a goner. Hence she isn't strong enough to be able to beat him soundly in all scenarios.

Kaneki from Tokyo Ghoul

He's pretty cool. Also likes to eat flesh. I don't think he's as fast at it as Rimuru is, but then again I also gave up watching after the first season. Gets an honorable mention because he might actually be stronger than I think.

Goku

He's fucking Goku. I just have never watched this show so I didn't feel comfortable ranking him.

Kibutsuji Muzan + Upper moons from Demon Slayer

Any of them would be a solid threat. However, considering they get their asses handed to them by a bunch of human high schoolers and fold at the tiniest ray of sunlight, I figure the moons would be somewhat of a miniboss vs final boss in terms of power scaling.

Muzan probably would've gotten a place on the list if not for Yoriichi. Also, as said, anyone that gets clapped by a bunch of high schoolers in their own home gets a permanent L. Shine a lamp on him and it's over for bro.

Hashiras from Demon Slayer

Not a single one of them can 1v1 any upper moons. That being said, they still managed to body all of them. They go down with them though, so I'd say it would take all of the hashiras (maybe including pre-canon ones) to take down the average Binghe. And they'd all die doing it.

Hero of Time/Hero of the Wilds Link from Legend of Zelda

Is this an anime? No. Do I care? Not really. Fighting opponents wildly out of his league but ultimately winning anyway is literally his canon lore. All Link needs is a slingshot and an ocarina and he'll fight the fucking moon. He's no slouch in recent games either; a beef bowl and a stick is all it takes for him to take on the immortal demon king possessing the castle in nothing but his goddamn boxers.

This was my list!!! Very long, but a lot of fun. Let me know what your own lists are, I'm curious lol.

If I've not mentioned a show, it's probably because I've never watched it lol.

[ewanmitchellcrumbs]

Ange dearest, here for my post-show thoughts; this really is the literal first thing I do after every episode. Kinda like last week I'll try to start with some positives:

Aemond looked cunty asf

Sowing the seeds of Alys and Aemond, I really am just dying to see this

Jeyne Arryn sighting

The performances were amazing as usual, but particularly the grief from Lord Corlys, I really felt for him, honestly

Baela, that's it.

Now for my not necessarily negative but other thoughts-

Daemon. Daemon. Daemon. Fucking his mother? Eating her out? Um....what??????? Sir.....SIR- also side not she kinda hot but NOT THE POINT UM WHAT. Also, what are they doing to Daddy Uncle, talking about Rhaenyra can't succeed- where is the loyalty that I've been yearning for, URGH

The Helaena and Aemond scene was literally a fragment pls- that wasn't even a full conversation. I suppose it was profound in a way, yes, but still. Also am I the only one hearing a child laughing before he turned to see Helaena? Is that some of his guilt over Jaehaerys? Idk, just thoughts

The lack of balance between showing the greens and blacks was blatant in this episode, it felt like for every thirty minutes on Dragonstone we got 2 minutes in King's Landing.

Lastly, what the FUCK is Aemond doing to Aegon in the trailer. Please, Please, Please, tell me that's him feeling a sliver of remorse, and that he's not going to try and KILL HIM FUCKING JEEZ MAN

That last part of Aegon wheezing, 'Mummy' just broke my heart.

Let's hope that that scene of Alicent and Cole means an official Alicole breakup, yes I'm still annoyed by how much we were waterboarded with them in the first two episodes.

Overall, despite the general grievances that we've reiterated from the beginning, I enjoyed the episode, I giggled every time Aemond came on screen and I screamed when Daemon fucked his mom- because frankly, if we don't just focus on the things we enjoy, we'll end up storming HBO and demanding Ryan Condal's head.

Look forward to your thoughts too <3

-🦋 anon

I live for your weekly thought dumps! What am I going to do without them once season two ends?! :( Here are mine:

This, to me, felt like a filler episode. We have a shorter season this season, THERE ISN'T ROOM FOR THAT. I just felt like nothing noteworthy really happened? I thought Aemond becoming Prince Regent would be made a bigger deal of, but once again it's overshadowed by Alicent's negative reaction to it. Uuuggghhhh.

I adore Alys, I cannot get enough of her, and I squealed and kicked my feet at the hint of Alysmond. Give them to meeee. I am chomping at the bit for season three.

We have had two episodes of Daemon tripping off his nut though, so I am over it at this point, we didn't need a third. ADVANCE THE PLOT. I feel like it's character assassination from the writers that they are pitting Daemon against Rhaenyra - another effort to villainise him and make his character two dimensional. This could not be further from Daemon in the book, it's sad to see.

The hallucination of him fucking his mother was wild. I get that it's meant to symbolise his desire to be loved by a woman who holds power over him (i.e. he feels spurned by his queen, Rhaenyra), but it was weird! That being said, I enjoyed the visuals because Daemon is insanely hot.

I would, however, have gladly swapped that hallucination for a more meaningful interaction between Helaena and Aemond, because what the hell was that? The first time they have spoken the entire series and it's five fucking words from Helaena that Aemond doesn't even respond to?!?!

I loved Corlys, Baela and Jace in this episode. Jace and Baela's on screen interactions are always great to watch, they have such natural chemistry, and Corlys being angry with Rhaenyra felt very realistic.

Once more, I am left feeling as though Team Green is being given the shitty end of the stick, while Team Black are stealing the spotlight. I don't like having to flesh out the characters through guess work, SHOW ME SOME DEVELOPMENT.

Wondering if we will get Aemond in the Conqueror's crown at any point this season?

I don't think Aemond is doing anything sinister to Aegon in the trailer for episode six, but I do think it's been deliberately cut to appear that way. When he initially arrives at the foot of the bed, and looks at Aegon, you can see in his face that he feels awful about the state he's in. There is guilt lurking beneath the surface, I know there is!!

[screemnch]

The Pathologic Russian and English analysis: Bachelor Daniil Dankovsky Part 2.

I've decided that whenever I go to have my psychiatric evaluation, I'm gonna show them these series of mini-essays. The things we do... Anyway, here's the second half of my prickly prick analysis, this time from our precious miracle worker!

As the Changeling: the Bachelor in this campaign is actually a lot more consistent in between the English and Russian versions - he’s a lot meaner, condescending and all we know and love him for, so to speak. In terms of formality, he almost always refers to Clara using the informal “you,” which is understandable - she is a child, and someone who he doesn’t hold in high regard. His mannerisms, unlike in the Haruspex run, don’t change halfway through the narrative, which can be attributed to many different things - the fact that in the Haruspex run Eva survives and so Dankovsky never has to deal with the guilt of her death, for example. Or maybe the idea that he constantly treats Clara’s abilities with scepticism and doesn’t see her as crucial to the fulfilment of his plans, almost viewing her as disposable. Whatever it is, the manner of speech is very similar to how it is in the first half of the Haruspex run - you’ve got your little filler words, diminutives, rough words and an informal but deliberate sentence structure. There is a lot more frustration in his dialogues with Clara, which can be explained by the idea that he is literally out for blood for half of the game.

Overall, I was a little sad to see how many dialogue options just lead to the exact same thing via different routes, so there won’t be as many notes here as I’d like there to be. That being said, I’ve already started gathering material for the Changeling section of the analysis. Additionally, with the repetitive nature of Clara’s campaign, I’d like to preemptively say that I’ve done my best to put these in chronological order, but I make no promises on accuracy. That being said - here are some things that I wanted to specifically point out.

This line is just… Riddled with curious differences. For one, instead of psychics, Dankovsky says that it’s bad enough that half the town is, specifically, “telepaths” which is… Interesting. And incorrect, which is probably why they changed it when translating. He then goes on to say “And those that aren’t, are extrasensory!” which is much closer to “psychic” than “faith healers.” In Russia, the term “экстрасенс” (read quite literally as “extra-sense”) refers to a person with any kind of psychic ability. Though you’ll mostly find it on shitty TV shows nowadays, and it feels a bit anachronistic to use it here, the term was first used in 1979, so hey, it could potentially make sense? Finally, the line itself is riddled with exasperated little words, which makes me really happy that I pointed it out when looking through the Haruspex dialogues. The last sentence especially conveys a certain urgency that kinda seems gone in the English version. There’s no presumption. Adding the whole “I presume” was probably a way to try and emulate this urgency in English, but it ended up being more of a “wow, the Bachelor is expecting people to do as he says” which is true, but the focus of the sentence is on the “can.” Something more like “Does that mean you can do this?” And also they cut out the exclamation mark in the first sentence, which I guess just doesn’t work in English orthography.

I… Don’t know what to think of this translation. Let’s be transparent here - the closest way to properly translate the last sentence in this line is to face the facts that Dankovsky would sound like the crazy beggar woman from Sweeney Todd - “Diabolic, diabolic…” he says. And while imps and devils can very well be used as curse words in Russian, this, surprisingly, is not one of those instances. In this case, I imagine the translators chose to go for the most straightforward translation. Like having someone say “Damn…” and the translation being “This displeases me greatly!” Which I think is hilarious, but also hopefully helps bridge the gap between the two versions.

Ok. What the fuck. This is the line in the Changeling route where Clara has to stay overnight at the Stillwater and the Bachelor is all like “Eva’s probably going to hand herself in to the inquisitor and we’re gonna go and save her tomorrow” except take a look at the Russian version. See anything different? See the exclamation marks? I feel like the translation team was so hellbent on making Dankovsky the prickliest prick on the block, that they forgot that he actually gives a damn about Eva. Like, there’s an urgent tone, and air of accusation in the way these sentences are formulated to portray someone who actually cares about the fate of the person he’s been living with for the past week. The Bachelor in Russian isn’t taking no for an answer in this case, because he actually cares. English Bachelor? Honestly, sounds like he’s pissed at Eva for trying to help him. Do not appreciate.

I feel it’s important to emphasise the difference in sentiment here. The way this line is said in English sounds very distant, indignant. It’s something I’ve found with a lot of Bachelor’s lines and I’m beginning to suspect that it may just be because Russian is my native language, so I just see it as more personal, but idk. In the English version it feels like the Bachelor is just considering the possibility of saving a person (which, by the way, with how much of an ass Daniil has been to Clara is a very interesting 180) but in Russian he sounds a lot more determined, a lot more focused on the “saving” part. In a clunkier, but more literal translation, the line would be “If not Simon, then I’ll take at least you away from this miracle-rich hole.” He’s still caught up in Simon’s death, and he feels like it's his duty to help at least someone out of the place that has done nothing but get in his way (when he arrived here expecting it to help him) so uh… Once again coming for the head of whoever said Dankovsky has no heart.

So uh… See, it’s funny because… Well, in English this string of dialogue doesn’t exactly make sense to me. What’s not to get, Clara? The Haruspex has a bone to pick with the butchers, which might interfere with the Bachelor’s plans. The wording is pretty clear too, so where does the confusion come from? At this point Clara has most certainly seen a butcher, she knows what he’s talking about. But then if you think about it, the Russian phrasing of that last sentence is wildly different. See, the original phrase is “He’s not impartial to butchers too,” and let me tell you something fun about that choice of words. See, while being “not impartial” to someone may mean that you have your own agenda you’re trying to push, it does not imply having any sort of issues with the person. In fact, most Russians would use the words “not impartial” when talking about a romantic inclination. And while I’m not saying it’s the intention of the writers, by any means, but uh… When interpreting this interaction as Dankovsky saying something easily misinterpretable out of pocket and Clara just raising her hands and saying “I refuse to comprehend whatever you’ve just told me,” it makes a bit more sense to me personally, than Clara simply not being able to follow along.

In terms of being “as close to the original as possible” this line is probably one of the most far out lines. There are some lines that are translated word for word, and then there’s… This. Don’t get me wrong - that doesn’t mean it’s bad. I can actually understand exactly why these changes were made - it’s so that I would get to talk about them! The biggest difference would be in the way the Bachelor refers to Burakh in this line. In the Russian version he uses the word “леший” (Leshy) which is a word some of y’all may know from games like Inscryption and Cult of the Lamb. Leshy (quite literally means “of the woods”) is a mythical creature in Slavic folklore - an entity of the woods, the master of the forest, an overall neutrally aligned one. In some stories he confuses travellers and leads them in circles or abducts children, while in others he is a benevolent but protective figure that will help those who treat him with respect. I won’t go into too much detail, because this is Pathologic, not mythology hour, but I still think it’s a fun little tidbit of knowledge, considering who the Bachelor is talking about. That being said, in the English version he calls him a “sod” which is at least tangentially related to greenery and the like, which I think is funny. The other differences in this line are mostly in regards to sentence structure and don’t change the meaning much, so I won’t wax poetic about them.

I’m having a goddamn aneurysm. I’m shaking, crying, losing my mind. Why did this have to be translated like this? It’s just literally “My god!” in Russian. You can say that in English. You’re allowed. Or maybe like “Dear god!” If you wanna keep the faux shock element of the word. Why blimey? Why? I don’t get it. Someone please explain. Additionally, the whole “look who’s here” has a more condescending vibe of “Look who’s  decided to grace us with her presence.” So yeah. The prickly prick factor is back, babey.

The Bachelor is a lot sassier in this route. I didn’t see it as potently in the English version, I guess, because in Russian the overall vibe of this line is “A little bit… After all, you’re the only sinless person we’ve got.” Which I feel communicates both the jab, the Bachelor’s resentment towards Clara and how fed up he is with her literal “Holier than thou” rhetoric.

The Bachelor rejects the notion of love winning if the polyhedron is preserved. However, in the Russian version there is no “you lose” in this line, which I feel gives a different vibe to the interaction. In the English version it feels a little weird - why is the Bachelor trying to convince Clara to go with his plan by telling her that she loses? Is that meant to be effective? Who knows, but in the Russian version the actual phrasing is closer to “we win from you” which can mean two things: the first one being the whole “we win and you lose” interpretation. The other is - we win at your discretion. We win in your game. And I don’t know, I’m writing this at 2 am, but I feel like the other interpretation makes more sense for someone trying to be convincing.

I don’t understand why this was translated the way it is. I also have no recollection of when in the game this takes place and the dialogue itself offers very little context. The line itself however is… I don’t get it. I’ve always seen the word “darling” as a term used to either someone very close to you, or in an ironic sense. The term Dankovsky uses here, however is “cute creature” (cute being the literal meaning of the word, but in combination with the “creature” thing, it’s more akin to “dear” or “sweet”) which is a term of endearment used, at least from what I understand in literature, in reference to an innocent, gentle, feminine person. Some writers use that epithet to refer to their muse. It does not have the same vibe as “darling”; it's a lot more delicate, as if you were referring to a flower. And I don’t see where they got “darling” from that. Additionally, this is the only instance in which the Bachelor refers to Clara using a formal version of “you.”

And that’s about it for the Bachelor in the Changeling route. The main differences between this and the English version come from two factors: the specific words used, and the lack of exclamation marks. No kidding. The way Dankovsky refers to some things was just translated in a way where it conveys the purpose of what he’s trying to say, but the vibe becomes completely lost. It was interesting to see just how superstitious Daniil’s manner of speaking gets when he’s talking to Clara, given his scepticism - he refers to mythical creatures, silver bullets, and even his defence of the Polyhedron is a very… Spirited one. In other instances, the difference in terminology lessens whatever emotion the line is trying to convey. That, and the overall “tamer” use of exclamation marks removes a little bit of character from the Bachelor. He comes off as a lot more composed in English, with occasional outbursts of frustration. Just like in the first half of the Haruspex campaign, the Bachelor in the original version is a lot more impassioned, whether the emotions he is communicating are disgust or sympathy, conceit or regret. I mentioned it earlier, but it does really feel like in trying to make Dankovsky seem like a cold, pragmatic asshole, the translators accidentally took the bite out of a lot of his lines.

That being said, I want to make it clear that I’m not bashing the translation in any way. Most of these differences come from heavily made decisions, opting for either translating things literally, or trying to convey the essence but losing a few things on the way. Translators always have to deal with that choice. Even with the little experience I have with translating myself, I can understand that a lot of these things potentially could not have been translated any other way. You wouldn’t want to have to play a game where every dialogue option is followed by a footnote explaining what this specific choice of words means, and how to properly interpret them - the player’s experience is a part of the game’s design. How you understand the dialogue is also a part of the narrative, especially with how much deception is woven into the story. With all that in mind, I still feel it’s important to eventually illustrate exactly what the differences are, because not only do the way certain phrases are translated shine a new light on the author’s intentions, but additionally - some people might never find out otherwise. So uh… Yeah. Coming up in maybe yet another month, if not more - The Haruspex as seen by the other two Healers.

[sexilene]

hihi!! i love your blog sm, it’s so pretty and you seem like one of the coolest ppl ever 🤭💕💕 i was wondering if you have any lipgloss recs??!

(sorry if you’ve already answered a question like this 😭)

hiii!! 💞💞🎀 this makes my heart so happy lol!! here are some of my lipgloss recs!! 🧘🏼‍♀️💋

🤍 victoria's secret flavored lip gloss in strawberry fizz (not sticky and has this beautiful color and shine ughh!!)

🤍 dior addict lip maximizer plumping gloss in 065 icy blue (this one is kinda sticky but the pale baby blue gives your lips a natural pink and makes your lips look eddible omigod!)

🤍 r.e.m. beauty essential drip lip oil in raspberry drip (amazing shine and not sticky! doesn't get my hair caught in it when wind blows or something which is like !!! ty ariiii 💖)

🤍 charlotte tilbury collagen lip bath in refresh rose (perfect for the clean girl, erewhon, pilates princess girl...slightly plumping and just the perfect grab and go shade! it goes with everything!)

🤍 vs color shine lip gloss in electric (perfect if you love the 2000s mc bling hyper fem look! literally candy girl! 🍭)

🤍 fenty beauty gloss bomb universal lip luminizer in FU$$Y (flattering on every skin tone, so baby-doll like bunny girl i love it!!)

🤍 lawless forget the filler lip plumper line smoothing gloss in cherry vanilla (like having filler, plumps sooo good lol! sexy cherry girl literally looks like candy omg! 🍒)

🤍 r.e.m. essential drip glossy balm in strawberry soda (another r.e.m. beauty fave, its so hollywood 2005 walking around in juicy couture 💞)

🤍 charlotte tilbury lip lustre in shades blondie, ibiza nights, portobello girl, pillow talk and hall of fame (all of these are heavenly, i own them all and they are long lasting, sexy and sooo yummy ugh like a 2000s malibu hottie! the glittery ones are so summer omigod)

🤍 GXVE by gwen stefani bubble pop electric high-performance clean lip gloss (actually surpised by these, all shades are so pretty and smells sooooo good, and even after drinking and eating the color seems to last!)

🤍 essence extreme shine volume lip gloss in flower blossom (classy, simple and affordable!)

🤍 clarins lip comfort hydrating oil in shade cherry (cherry cola lips!)

🤍 revlon the gloss in shade lean in (perfect playboy bunny girl, p0rnstar sexy kitten i love it so much and its shiny and affordable!)

(i luvvvv your blog too! 💘)

[tealenko]

Tons of tag games

I gonna catch with tags from 3 months (sorry for the spam XDDD)

Here's the 1st:

WIP Anytime!/WIP Whenever

Literally lol XDDDDDDDDD Tagged by: @sillyliterature @vela-ad-astra

Thanks a lot for the tag, and sorry it's taken me so long to reply 😅

Just spent 5 months writing the last chapter of my fic (just posted it) so I haven't written a lot of my next chapter, but here are all my notes I guess XDDDDDDDDDD

Didn't Have the Heart ch.10 - Notes

⬇Keep reading to see it⬇

Ch10: The Next Time

Recorded notes

Potential flashback moments

In the Kodiac, back to the Normandy, with Legion / Kaidan / Garrus

Garrus (could be Tali, but I don’t think she’s been present for all of it in ME2 [project overlord] and ME3 [Grissom Academy], consult the timeline) freaks out a little

Recalls project overlord

Kaidan is like: yeah, I kinda agree, but Shepard is gonna do Shepard things.

He’s also processing all the new info like: wow…

He loves/hates her courage 

Perhaps Legion’s comments that they wouldn’t endanger Shepard.

G to K: “Aren’t you gonna say a fucking thing about this!?”

K to G: “What do you want me to say? I have no power to stop her from being that way. I’m a mere spectator here. Just doing my best to process everything while helping.”

G to K: Thanks for the help man.

G: I’m more affected: after all these years of suicide plans and all the Cerberus shit.

S to G: I appreciate the sentiment, Garrus, but I’m fine, as you can see.

Kaidan leaves them arguing and talks to Legion for a while -> last oportunity

Shepard picks Garrus on the mission because she wants to prove him wrong, but then she cannot help herself and adds Kaidan to the squad -> She sends him as leader of the 3rd mission because she’s kinda mad that he’s right -> back to back missions (just as they did with Cerberus) -> so the order is Korris/Geth dream/Filler mission

Admiral Korris mission related stuff

They talk as they get on/off their armor (alone)

Talking to the quarians / mission report

And now I have to go talk with the quarians, which I’m honestly dreading way more

 “That would explain the outfit”

She huffs and tries to stretch out the fabric arround her neck: “As if talking to politicians wasn’t torture enough…”

“Try not to punch anyone this time around…”

 “I won’t make any promises…

Things I really want to feature in this fic

There’s a cot in Starboard observation (Kaidan’s room) -> It’s Kasumi’s old cot

Have her mention the amount of reports she has to do

I’d like to add the ring thing -> nightmares (maybe I can show a little on the ME2 beginning when she gives it to Kaidan)

Actual Timeline

2 missions

They send another squad to the third one

She’s like: I should go get some sleep -> fluff moment

We do here the “smut path” 

She goes to her cabin

Tries to sleep

Sees her formal uniform in a puddle

Flashes of her table fantasy in her mind -> fuck it!

She goes to his room

Have her mention the amount of reports she has to do

And smut happens -> against the window?

She falls asleep on the sofa

And we do the “nightmare path” here

She has a nightmare

Mention the ring here perhaps

Flash to the bar chapter in LBIG?

She wakes up less shaken than usually -> Bittersweet moment of mourning the dead but being comforted by spending some time in their company, even if it’s on her dreams

Wakes up

Finds him sleeping, he’s done all her work

She hesitates, almost leaves, but doesn’t in the end

And we end with fluff

She joins him in the cot

He hugs her and smiles

She reprimands him for not following her orders (waking her up to do the reports and doing her job instead)

We end the chapter as he replies: I didn’t have the heart 

Fic timeline / Narrative order

Start at the entrance of the starboard port? -> Flashback

Decides not to enter -> Flashback -> Make it a tough one

Goes to the port observation 

Is about to serve herself a drink -> flash/expl. that she doesn’t drink alcohol when she feels like she need it 

Goes to the kitchen instead -> Flashback

Drinks water/coffee -> Flashback

Goes back to the room -> Flashback

Enters. -> The rest happens

Fluff to spicy banter

Smut

They spend a while talking on the sofa

She falls sleep

Nightmare

When she’s woken up she sees him passed out on the cot, surrounded by datapads -> she pulls all that stuff on one of the tables and checks that he’s done indeed all her job (informs and all that stuff)

Grabs a blanket and covers him

She’s about to leave but remembers his words

[luneshallshine]

✂ ateez as songs

a cute filler as i wrap my head around writing that san fic...

:)

pure fluff! some profanity..

ღ seonghwa

♫ playing now : pretty u by seventeen

does she love me? does she love me, not?

omg he fits this song so much !!

this song is so sweet and full cute lyrics

i can definitely see seonghwa as the last verse

i am counting flower petals all day long does she love me? does she love me, not? what will the petals answer to me?

just

imagine him picking petals to see if he should confess :(

he's such a sweetie

according to twt one of his fav svt songs is pretty u :(

he's so sweet

he WOULD be that boy next door trope

omgg

ღ hongjoong

♫ playing now : celebrate by ateez

you're the one, only one (only one) from 7 billion, the only one (only one)

the lyrics to this song

are

so

fucking

sweet!!

like hongjoong would say these words to you if you're having a bad day

you're the one, only one (only one) so i celebrate you, all about you

hongjoong is such a mature person at heart

he would write so many songs to uplift you

this song is one of my favorites bc of its lyrics

and i rlly feel like hongjoong said sm truth with this song

he would also help you overcome your insecurities :((

ღ yunho

♫ playing now : the feels by twice

'cause you got me good and i wanna be ya boo if it's dumb, well, i wanna be a fool (fool, fool, fool)

this song is so

happy??

idk i just felt a connection

yunho's our vitamin and i feel like he just has to have an upbeat song

this song is also kinda goofy and i think it fits yunho's vibe

underneath the neon lights, baby electricity tonight, baby

i can see him slaying this part^

he's just so positive that he makes me smile when i watch him

also he became one of my favs after the ateez concert in oakland bc he noticed me &lt;;/3

our golden retriever :((

ღ yeosang

♫ playing now : antifragile by le sserafim

i'll climb higher top of the world i itched for (ah-ah)

LMAO PLEASE HEAR ME OUT

the lyrics are so good like yeosang is such a hardworker

all of ateez are

and like he killed the dance so...

no biggie if i were to fall i'm antifragile, antifragile

also like??? yeosang gets so little attention for his performance skills i'm :((

i feel like he's such an emotionally strong person so

he's quite literally antifragile

ღ san

♫ playing now : moth to a flame by the weeknd

like a moth to a flame i'll pull you in, i'll pull you back to what you need initially

tiktok has ruined me

he's either your bias or your biaswrecker, there's only two options

i thought i would only bias hwa and then san rocked my world

i feel like you can't help but be pulled to him (like a moth to a flame ahaha..)

it's just one call away and you'll leave him, you're loyal to me

he would be that one ex you'd fold for

don't disagree bc i'm right

everyone's guilty pleasure

ღ mingi

♫ playing now : all i wanna do by jay park

girl, tell me how you feel right now baby, let’s go up to the sky all i wanna do is kick it with you

off topic but the korean lyrics are so much more sweet than the english version LMAO

i was battling with putting this song for san or mingi

but mingi is such a big jay park fan i had to

the lyrics are so idk like vibe-y?

like they just want to have fun

i think it fits mingi very well

he'd want a relationship where they can be comfortable with each other and just chill n have fun

just like your outfit today, your heart is see-through all i wanna do is kick it with you

mingi can fucking rizz me up if he sang that to me

i mean he can regardless but

yk

he just gives off that vibe on stage

if he ever went solo, he'd be wilding like jay park does

ღ wooyoung

♫ playing now : embarassed by bts

why am I getting weirder in front of you?i’m not a pre-schooler but why is everything so childish? ;ook at my eyes, my jokes aren’t serious

idk this song makes me so giddy

woo gives off no decorum but also self-cringe vibes

also imagine woo singing this song

it could be so good

he's also such a loyal yet childish person

he'd be that puppy love typa guy, the love that lasts ofc

i was too shy to become your sun so i became a cold moon but afterwards, i keep making a wave of blankets on top of my ocean bed

woo to this song fits so well im crying

just imagine him getting so shy around you, but still trying

aaahhh ideal boyfriend i swear

ღ jongho

♫ playing now : leave the door open by bruno mars

i ain't playing no games every word that i say is coming straight from the heart

they killed this fucking cover

bruno mars-lover jongho gets this song ofc

i literally can't listen to the song normally without hearing his voice LMAOO

this song is such honeymoon phase vibes omg

i'm here just waiting for you come on over, i'll adore you

liiiike jongho gives me husband vibes

like he doesn't fuck around

all genuine love

probably gives the BEST bear hugs in the fucking world

aight fuck tumblr they keep fucking up my format :((

writer's block sucks, but this was quick n easy :D

ღ lune

[kiynania]

Ranking every ninjago season and why :3

(Yall are gonna 100% hate me for this)

(Spoilers for Dragons rising kinda)

I hate it sm, it literally could've been one of the best seasons in ninjago history, but there was WAY too much filler and was so underwhelming and predictable. Didn't even feel like a Zane season during the second half it felt more like a Lloyd season. ALL of the ninja should've fought Zane + Pixal, and she should've come as well. AND THE FACT THAT ZANE'S TRAUMA WAS NEVER BROUGHT UP. LIKE HUH????? I will forever hate this season with a passion no matter what anyone says.

18. Forbidden Secrets of Spinjitzu

17. Prime Empire

I really can't care for it at all it just feels like the ninjago writers ran out of ideas(which I completely understand, but still) you could literally skip the entire thing and the whole plot line would STILL make sense. The only time I genuinely rewatch this is if I'm THAT bored. Really should've stuck the to idea with Jay's mother running away from something(which they 100% should've done in the first place)

16. Skybound

Before yall come to my house and beat the shit out of me, HEAR. ME. OUT. Kinda the same situation with Prime Empire. You could skip it, and the show would still make sense. It's never addressed after the season, and all of it is just...wack. Nadakkan is a fucking creep towards Nya, like mf BACK OFF. And Jay isn't any better. He's constantly disrespecting Nya's boundaries throughout a majority of the season, and I do NOT understand how Jay fans justify that. And the amount of sexism in it??? I just don't like this season in general and would very much like to stay away from it.

15. The Island

It felt like it was just there for the purpose of being there. It's important to the plot the next season but I felt like that could've been resolved with a little b plot. Ik it's technically not a season but idc. That's it. Nothing else I can say abt it.

14. Crystalized

It had sm potential, but the second half felt so rushed. The first 12 eps were really well paced, but the last 18 felt like a whole other season. The entire ending was rushed, and it was so hyped as well. I was at the edge of my chair waiting and waiting but....nothing. I never really believed that Pixal was gonna die, but I 100% expected Wu to die or SOMEONE to make a huge sacrifice. The original ending wouldn't have been much better bc at that point, there would've been only 2 eps left. AND NO ONE BROUGHT UP THE FACT THAT ZANE DEFEATED THE OVERLOAD. NOT EVEN LLOYD???? "Third time's the charm," MF ZANE DEFEATED HIM THE THIRD TIME FOR WAY LONGER THAN YOU DID AND NOT EVEN THE OVERLOAD MENTIONED IT LIKE WHAT??? AT LEAST REFRENCE IT OR SUM.

13. Hands of Time

To get something out of the way, the animation reminded me of Miraculous Ladybug.(IM SORRY) The season felt odd but in a good way. And knowing that Pixal was in that Samurai X suit makes her personality in s7 10× more funnier. I don't hate it but I don't love it at the same time. It's a 50/50

12. The Pilots

Since it's the start or it all, it's going to get a decent ranking. I really like it and it did just fine for a pilot ep(s) But other seasons are just better :3

11. Master of The Mountain

It's a really nice season to get back at I fricking LOVE the little flashback of Cole's mother. But at the same time it's a bit forgettable.(don't come for me) That's it. :3

10. Legacy of The Green Ninja

One of the classic seasons. It's good enough to make it to the top 10. This was where ninjago was originally supposed to end. Its really nice and seeing Lloyd battle his dad was sad :,) All the episodes are really fun and entertaining but other seasons are just better :3

9. Rise of The Snakes

The first season of ninjago where it all truly started. Much like s2 all the episodes are really entertaining. It's really heartwarming to watch all the ninja grow up and change throughout the rest of the seasons. It's always a classic you can come back to. But other seasons are still just better

8. Possession

It's a really nice season and the pros outweigh the cons but I really don't like Morro(atp yall finna hate me) He's like Kai if his "I'm supposed to be the green ninja" phase never left. His redemption arc was so fricking boring and forgettable that I don't even REMEMBER what happened and i'm too lazy to go back. But the episodes are also really entertaining and a bit funny.

7. Rebooted

TOO MANY PPL DONT LIKE THIS SEASON AND IDK WHY. Okay the love triangle was extremely unnecessary and didn't help progress the plot at all. But all the good really outweighs it. It's the birth of the best Canon ship(which is pretty much all I post abt here) Really entertaining. AND HAS ONE OF THE BEST SCENES IN HISTORY. Ik yall were in TEARS after the last ep.

6. Dragons Rising

It's a really well paced season and MASSIVELY improved from crystalized. THEY ACTUALLY GIVE ZANE A PERSONALITY AND I AM HERE FOR IT. It gives off a really well based story, and it's really entertaining. Ik a majority of Jay fans were upset bc he only got like 14 seconds of screen time if that, but with everything going on and at that point there were 3 eps left. The story pacing would've been extremely rushed, so I'm kinda glad that happened. Nothing else to say.

5. March of The Oni

Really great season. Just really hits you in the feels. Nice season you can always rewatch. I love the Pixal/Cole/Zane interaction in the first ep really funny. The rest of the season is pretty self explanatory

4. Tournament of Elements

This season is one of the best in the show. Like S10 it's pretty self explanatory. Introduces us to a bunch of new concepts. GARMADON SACRIFICING HIMSELF WAHHHHHHH. The only thing I genuinely have a problem with is the Zane amnesia part. I really wanted it to last the whole season like make Zane have little flashbacks bit by bit. That could've been really interesting. The rest is amazing.

3.Sons of Garmadon

SO MANY PPL WHO STOPPED WATCHING AFTER THE REDESIGNS MISSED OUT OMG. It's so good. Good characters. Good villains. Good story concept. GREAT execution. Just mwah. Crystalized kinda ruined Harumi's arc. Like I would've been fine if she stayed dead. HER ARC WAS PERFECT. I love her sm. Also has one of the best outfits/weapons. THE REDESIGNS DID THEM JUSTICE THEYRE SM BETTER THAN THE OLD ONES(don't find me pls.) It's great would recommend :3

2. Seabound

ONE OF THE BEST SEASONS JUST MWAH. Nya's arc was really nice, and her merging with the ocean pulled on my heartstrings istg. HER INTERACTIONS WITH HER MOTHER JUST...*cries forever*

1. Hunted

MY FAVORITE SEASON OMG EVERYTHING ABT IT IS FUCKING PERFECT. The music. The characters. EVERYTHING. Has one of the best intros in ninjago. I love how Lloyd was trying to cope with his friends being "dead" and being so relieved that they're actually alive. The designs are so good. The story progresses really smoothly and just...*chefs kiss*

Okay bye now.