emo-batboy

[emo-batboy]

A Wild Battinson OUTTAKES Pt 3

(For the real AU, here’s the Masterlist)

(Outtakes Pt 1 & Pt 2)

Hi everyone! So here’s a bunch of the stuff I was considering posting near the holiday season last year. (Holy shit, that was 8 months ago.) As always, these outtakes are NOT canon. These posts were topical at the time, but I then decided that handling these subject matters in my tumbler social media alternate universe was probably not the place to do it, it would throw off the general vibe, and I was not equipped to write it in a thorough and respectful manner so I dropped it. The Christmas stuff was fun tho! Nonetheless, these are some highlights I really enjoyed :)

[emo-batboy]

Hey guys! Fancy seeing y’all here. (Sorry for disappearing. I was technically homeless for like ten months which took a lot of my time and mental energy. Don’t worry about it, though. I have a home now. It’s fine.)

ANYWAYS

So originally I was going to just keep Superman as a tiny character in the background just to acknowledge his existence, maybe utilize the Daily Planet a few time, keep Cavill as the in-universe Superman for continuity purposes, etc. …… but then I watched Superman (2025) and he just like me fr so thoughts on me swapping in Corenswet and adding him to the plot?? Maybe making more Superman-centric parts like A Wild Superguy? Please leave your ideas as well if you have any. I have a bunch already, but I need to think them over.

[emo-batboy]

You may be a toxic situationship but you're OUR toxic situationship! *gestures to crowd of people*

-🍉

Awwwww thank you :)

Btw I found every single Battinson photo on my phone according to that people feature on Photos and uhhhhhhhhhh holy shit guys

[emo-batboy]

Heeeeey i dont wanna be pushy but youre battison twitter au is the coolest thing everz except it hasnt updated in almost a whole year :( is it ever coming back?

Can you believe it took me so long that SNL changed their fucking logo?

But thank you I will now begin plotting the next few updates 🫶🏻

[emo-batboy]

prolonging your hiatus cause Williams dropped Logan is so valid of you actually

Thank you for understanding. It was truly a difficult time for all of us

[emo-batboy]

When will beloved blog emo-batboy come back from the war......

at exactly 7:34pm EST bone apple teeth 🫶🏻

[emo-batboy]

A Wild Battinson (Social Media AU)

Part 57 (Masterlist)

Part 58 Coming At Some Point

@bruciemilf

Hey so uhh it's been a while. (If you look closely, squint a little, I literally made some of these photos over a year ago. I feel SICK. This AU is ancient.)

Here’s the SNL episode once again for the uninitiated.

Okay so hear me out. I know a lot of people were excited to see Caleb discover the batcave yada yada but the #1 rule is No One Figures It Out. Otherwise, the entire point of the series is obsolete and it ends. (Tim does find out ofc but not Caleb. None of the main cast. No OCs.) So he gets let go from babysitting Dick and Jason, mostly because Bruce and Alfred realize their mistake, and he never sees the batcave. RIP. ANYWAYS hope y’all forgive me. Didn’t realize I was implying that until everyone started screaming about it in the comments. Caleb is still blissfully unaware :)

No idea when the next part is coming out. I am currently in an airport banging this out before I convince myself not to post it AGAIN but you guys deserve better. It’s the holidays. So Merry December 19th-ish. Peace :)

[emo-batboy]

A Wild Battinson (Social Media AU)

Part 56 (Masterlist)

(Part 57)

@bruciemilf LOL

Here’s the link to the SNL episode post! Yes, there will be more about it tomorrow. And here’s the link to the actual hot dog skit Robert Pattinson filmed with GQ!

That’s all :) Bye now

[emo-batboy]

me waiting for updates:

but really I binge read the entire social media au right after finishing the movie and it has quickly become a comfort read. about to reread it again 🤪 💕💖💞💓💘💝

Thank you!!! I would die for you

But also people keep telling me they’ve binge read it, and apparently it takes two hours now??? To read it from beginning to end??!!?? It adds up…but I still don’t believe it.

[emo-batboy]

daily affirmations: i am enough. i love, and i am loved. i am kind to myself and to others. the batman (2022) dir. matt reeves starring robert pattinson, zoe kravitz, paul dano, and jeffrey wright, also with andy serkis and colin farrell, is a real movie that exists; it is not a figment of my imagination.

The Batman (2022) is real; it is not a figment of my imagination. The Batman (2022) is real; it is not a figment of my imagination. The Batman (2022) is real; it is not a figment of my imagination. Th̭e̠̩̝ ̦̪̥B̺̱͕at̳̙͕m̲an̬̬ (̮̙2̼̲0̯22)̗ ̦̞is re̗̘̣al; ̥̭it i͖s no͔t a̙̜̥ fi̫ͅgme̞n͖̯͔t̬ͅ o̖͎f m̭̙y ̩im͕̱ag͎̺in̪̱͖a͉̫̪t̫̺̦io̤̗n̻̪͙.̠̻͓ ͍ Th̭e̠̩̝ ̦̪̥B̺̱͕at̳̙͕m̲an̬̬ (̮̙2̼̲0̯22)̗ ̦̞is re̗̘̣al; ̥̭it i͖s no͔t a̙̜̥ fi̫ͅgme̞n͖̯͔t̬ͅ o̖͎f m̭̙y ̩im͕̱ag͎̺in̪̱͖a͉̫̪t̫̺̦io̤̗n̻̪͙.̠̻͓ ͍ T̝he ̬̥̯B̯͎̟̥͇̞aṭ͉̣m͇͓̫͕͖a͖n̞̮̭̫ (̞̲̙̥̱̥2̗̜͙̳̹0̬̱͈͔̳͕̥2͈2͔͎̥)̖̱̬͙͍̠̮ ị̟̺̩s̮̗̝ r̻̰̜̪̦̳e̖̬̣̝al;̺̗ͅ iṭ̝̮͍̞̪ i͙̮̖̦͕̺̘s ̫̙͚̯͔no̼̮t̥̼̫̙̼ͅ a ̘f̩̘̝i̭̤̥̱g̳̘̜̗̖̬̪meṇ͓͇̼͇t͖͚͈̥̮ͅ ̮͚̹͎͕o̟͈f̦͕ m̭͚͈̹̲̯̙y̹̭̭ ̭i͙̮̬͚͚͚͖ma̝͉̖ͅg͉̩͚̯ina͔t̤̗͖͖͈i͍̲̻̘̬o̝͓̦̯̰n͕̬͎̪̬̙͙.̹̰̯ T̝he ̬̥̯B̯͎̟̥͇̞aṭ͉̣m͇͓̫͕͖a͖n̞̮̭̫ (̞̲̙̥̱̥2̗̜͙̳̹0̬̱͈͔̳͕̥2͈2͔͎̥)̖̱̬͙͍̠̮ ị̟̺̩s̮̗̝ r̻̰̜̪̦̳e̖̬̣̝al;̺̗ͅ iṭ̝̮͍̞̪ i͙̮̖̦͕̺̘s ̫̙͚̯͔no̼̮t̥̼̫̙̼ͅ a ̘f̩̘̝i̭̤̥̱g̳̘̜̗̖̬̪meṇ͓͇̼͇t͖͚͈̥̮ͅ ̮͚̹͎͕o̟͈f̦͕ m̭͚͈̹̲̯̙y̹̭̭ ̭i͙̮̬͚͚͚͖ma̝͉̖ͅg͉̩͚̯ina͔t̤̗͖͖͈i͍̲̻̘̬o̝͓̦̯̰n͕̬͎̪̬̙͙.̹̰̯ T̞̖̻͖̦̪͈h͇̣̦̖̰͎̙̼̝̟̪͉͕ͅe̙͚͈̲̝̮̱̯̠͓̘̫ ̞͎̲̰͉̳B͉̲̭̙̮̰̮̩̫͖͙͕a͕̯̺̞͓t͕m̖̘̝̞̻̬̙̱̲̤͚͇̤͇̤an̜ (2͎̣̣͈͇̺̱̖̙0̟̰̮̯̺̫͎̰͖̺̞̠̼2̬͎̰̣̺̙͎̗͈̱̻̲͇̼̱2͈̻͈̠̜̻̤̖̫) ̟i͉̩̤͙͎̣̪̫ͅͅs̗̘̞̖̥̺̬̩̜͎̟ ̥̜̬̠̼̫̗̠̻r̲̩͉͔͇̪͈̰͚̻͙͉ͅea͚͔̪̠ḷ͉͙̼̜̤̰; i̻̻̫̭͕̙͖̰͔͕̥͕t ͖̩̭̩̳̰͓͙̬is̰̥̦͓̺̝ n͕̺̫͇̻̫̜͎̖̙̩̟̯̼̻ot͙͕̥̗̳̣̤͍̯̙͙̮͉͇͚ a͍̤͔̹̳̘̼̬̤̭͉̝͖ fi̺̤̱̻̞͍͈̲g̦̗͎̼̬͓̝͔͓̞̫͉̲ͅm̦͚e͔̫̠̗̼̗̼̯͈nt̝̠̖̺̪̖̻̠͕̟͕̦̜͖ of͍ m̱̲̫̳̗̫̩͇͖̹̖̖̱̹͉y ̻̰ima̖̼̰̘̥̦͕̮g̲̹͉̪͉̪̮̞̳̘̯̦̳̤̬i̳͔̥̪̺̪̩̟̪̜̻̱̻̮nat̞̻̮̜̦̪̻̜̜͔̰̰̬̼i͎̺̠̳̥̞̫̥̠on͙̙̤̘̱̠̪.̜͚͓͇̲̤̺̱̹͖͈̣͎̦͔ ͈̯̣ T̞̖̻͖̦̪͈h͇̣̦̖̰͎̙̼̝̟̪͉͕ͅe̙͚͈̲̝̮̱̯̠͓̘̫ ̞͎̲̰͉̳B͉̲̭̙̮̰̮̩̫͖͙͕a͕̯̺̞͓t͕m̖̘̝̞̻̬̙̱̲̤͚͇̤͇̤an̜ (2͎̣̣͈͇̺̱̖̙0̟̰̮̯̺̫͎̰͖̺̞̠̼2̬͎̰̣̺̙͎̗͈̱̻̲͇̼̱2͈̻͈̠̜̻̤̖̫) ̟i͉̩̤͙͎̣̪̫ͅͅs̗̘̞̖̥̺̬̩̜͎̟ ̥̜̬̠̼̫̗̠̻r̲̩͉͔͇̪͈̰͚̻͙͉ͅea͚͔̪̠ḷ͉͙̼̜̤̰; i̻̻̫̭͕̙͖̰͔͕̥͕t ͖̩̭̩̳̰͓͙̬is̰̥̦͓̺̝ n͕̺̫͇̻̫̜͎̖̙̩̟̯̼̻ot͙͕̥̗̳̣̤͍̯̙͙̮͉͇͚ a͍̤͔̹̳̘̼̬̤̭͉̝͖ fi̺̤̱̻̞͍͈̲g̦̗͎̼̬͓̝͔͓̞̫͉̲ͅm̦͚e͔̫̠̗̼̗̼̯͈nt̝̠̖̺̪̖̻̠͕̟͕̦̜͖ of͍ m̱̲̫̳̗̫̩͇͖̹̖̖̱̹͉y ̻̰ima̖̼̰̘̥̦͕̮g̲̹͉̪͉̪̮̞̳̘̯̦̳̤̬i̳͔̥̪̺̪̩̟̪̜̻̱̻̮nat̞̻̮̜̦̪̻̜̜͔̰̰̬̼i͎̺̠̳̥̞̫̥̠on͙̙̤̘̱̠̪.̜͚͓͇̲̤̺̱̹͖͈̣͎̦͔ ͈̯̣ T̫͓̻̩̳͛ͣͯ̋ͦh͌͐̒͂ͦ̈́ͫ̓͌̈́̎̂̍̚e̺̭̼̪͎̣̮͑͗̎͌̑̂͑ ̹̬̞̠̘̯̤̖̯̯̼͙͖̗̞͊̑̐̿̅͂̊͋̽̒̓̿͒̂̚B̓̈́͊͊̽̓ͧ̿ͭͮ͂à̏͊͊̍͆͆ṯ͉͍̫̳͍̮͇̬͉͕͕̻ͅm̃̆͐̎̿͌̽̄ͩͨͯ̆͐ͫa̞̘̐ͣn̓͌̀̏ͪͨ̊̐͐ ͓͙̘͓̙͈̜̪̘̦͆̍́ͥ̂͊̈́̾ͮ̓(̱͉͓̮̱̣͓̖̤̩̿͐ͥͣ̎͋ͥͤ̽̂̐ͅ2͚̤̪ͪ̅̊0̞̼̙̝̹ͨͬ͊̌̀2͕̜̬̋ͩ̓2̟̥̈̒)̯̗͔̙̲̦̦̝̝̭̩̹ͥ̂̃ͤ̉͑͛̏ͪ̇̈́̚ ̥̝̦͇̼͙̩͙̣̺̹̜̾̈̀͐ͬ̋̍̏ͣ̈̋͒ḯ̓ͩ̎s͈̯̦͂ͧ̏ ͊̄ͪ̾͒̌̌͒ͦͥ̽̌̓̔̈r̭̝̘̠̝̈́̿̄ͮ͊eͧ̿̇ͣͥͭa̱̥̙̗̙͕̩͉͇l͉͇̰̜̜̫̪͔̪̭̝̓̋̉͛͛̒͆̌̋̆ͦ;̪̞̦̦͔̖̥͉̹̯̫̘̔̊̌̍͊̉̉ͮ̽͆́̉͑ͅ ̤͍̹̫̟̜͈̹̠̩͇̤͎̞̍́ͧͮͬ́ͥ̒̏͛̉͂̑̈i̯͔t͐ͨ̽̅͊̇̊̿͐̈̀̊ ́̇̋i͖̮̦̩͔͙̼̝̘̰̲̋ͦͥͬ̓̐ͭ͌̾̒̂s͍̬̞̭͔̏̇̈͆̑ ͑́̿͌͂͗͌̑no͇̺͍̮͇̲̮͕̫̯͚̓͂͊͒ͣ̉͒̇͂̇̒ṯ̯̜ a̹̣̘̲̼ ̝̻͔͈͑ͪ̅̑ͯͅf̥͙͈͕͎͉ͤ̃͗͆̓̄i͌̿̿̋̈̿̽ͣͯ��̬̼͍͉̙̫̠̪͙̲g̦̭̙͕̦͓̮̖͖͓̖̹̮ͯ͋ͥ̅ͦ͂ͧ̓͗̈́ͤ̿̄m̲͒ͥͅen̺̣̹̱͙̔̃ͥ̐̈t̪̪̱͎̣̮̙̺̫ ͈́o͗̉ͥͥͤ̄ͦͤ̂ͧf̯͈͉ͅ ̱̙̬̗̹̤̣̦̖̈́̋̓̓̈͗̉ͧ͊̚ͅm͒͆ͤͣ̊̔͊ͭ͂̑ͩ̀̍͌̚y͙̦̩͇̠̠̙̠̫͙͊̇̓ͨ̓ͪͭͦ̓ͩ ̖̝͓̦̬͈͕͇̩̻ͅi̜̹̭̜ṃ̬̗̫̮̟͉̪̞̝͍̭̄̆͆̆̽ͧ͋͌̏ͫͥͨȁ͔͕̲̲̠͉̠̥̱͓͇ͪ̾ͮ̎̏̒̔̏͊͒ͨͅg̥̯̱̠͉͍̖̬͍in̲̪̦̬͙̝͌ͤ͐͐̑͒ẫ͚̫̞̭̙̼̟̟͈̊̌̔ͧͪ̀͋t͐̐͆ͩ̈̊͒̔i̠̦̳̝̜͈͉̺͇ͅon̻̮̣̳̖̜͒͛̎̎̂ͤ.̣͈̖̱̝̝̳̗̹͍͎̓̀̅͐͗͆͋ͥ͂̇ͤ ̱͖̥̫̼̘͈̖̥̀́̍͑ͥ̈́͗͐̊ T̫͓̻̩̳͛ͣͯ̋ͦh͌͐̒͂ͦ̈́ͫ̓͌̈́̎̂̍̚e̺̭̼̪͎̣̮͑͗̎͌̑̂͑ ̹̬̞̠̘̯̤̖̯̯̼͙͖̗̞͊̑̐̿̅͂̊͋̽̒̓̿͒̂̚B̓̈́͊͊̽̓ͧ̿ͭͮ͂à̏͊͊̍͆͆ṯ͉͍̫̳͍̮͇̬͉͕͕̻ͅm̃̆͐̎̿͌̽̄ͩͨͯ̆͐ͫa̞̘̐ͣn̓͌̀̏ͪͨ̊̐͐ ͓͙̘͓̙͈̜̪̘̦͆̍́ͥ̂͊̈́̾ͮ̓(̱͉͓̮̱̣͓̖̤̩̿͐ͥͣ̎͋ͥͤ̽̂̐ͅ2͚̤̪ͪ̅̊0̞̼̙̝̹ͨͬ͊̌̀2͕̜̬̋ͩ̓2̟̥̈̒)̯̗͔̙̲̦̦̝̝̭̩̹ͥ̂̃ͤ̉͑͛̏ͪ̇̈́̚ ̥̝̦͇̼͙̩͙̣̺̹̜̾̈̀͐ͬ̋̍̏ͣ̈̋͒ḯ̓ͩ̎s͈̯̦͂ͧ̏ ͊̄ͪ̾͒̌̌͒ͦͥ̽̌̓̔̈r̭̝̘̠̝̈́̿̄ͮ͊eͧ̿̇ͣͥͭa̱̥̙̗̙͕̩͉͇l͉͇̰̜̜̫̪͔̪̭̝̓̋̉͛͛̒͆̌̋̆ͦ;̪̞̦̦͔̖̥͉̹̯̫̘̔̊̌̍͊̉̉ͮ̽͆́̉͑ͅ ̤͍̹̫̟̜͈̹̠̩͇̤͎̞̍́ͧͮͬ́ͥ̒̏͛̉͂̑̈i̯͔t͐ͨ̽̅͊̇̊̿͐̈̀̊ ́̇̋i͖̮̦̩͔͙̼̝̘̰̲̋ͦͥͬ̓̐ͭ͌̾̒̂s͍̬̞̭͔̏̇̈͆̑ ͑́̿͌͂͗͌̑no͇̺͍̮͇̲̮͕̫̯͚̓͂͊͒ͣ̉͒̇͂̇̒ṯ̯̜ a̹̣̘̲̼ ̝̻͔͈͑ͪ̅̑ͯͅf̥͙͈͕͎͉ͤ̃͗͆̓̄i̬̼͍͉̙̫̠̪͙̲͌̿̿̋̈̿̽ͣͯ̄g̦̭̙͕̦͓̮̖͖͓̖̹̮ͯ͋ͥ̅ͦ͂ͧ̓͗̈́ͤ̿̄m̲͒ͥͅen̺̣̹̱͙̔̃ͥ̐̈t̪̪̱͎̣̮̙̺̫ ͈́o͗̉ͥͥͤ̄ͦͤ̂ͧf̯͈͉ͅ ̱̙̬̗̹̤̣̦̖̈́̋̓̓̈͗̉ͧ͊̚ͅm͒͆ͤͣ̊̔͊ͭ͂̑ͩ̀̍͌̚y͙̦̩͇̠̠̙̠̫͙͊̇̓ͨ̓ͪͭͦ̓ͩ i̜̹̭̜ṃ̬̗̫̮̟͉̪̞̝͍̭̄̆͆̆̽ͧ͋͌̏ͫͥͨȁ͔͕̲̲̠͉̠̥̱͓͇ͪ̾ͮ̎̏̒̔̏͊͒ͨͅg̥̯̱̠͉͍̖̬͍in̲̪̦̬͙̝͌ͤ͐͐̑͒ẫ͚̫̞̭̙̼̟̟͈̊̌̔ͧͪ̀͋t͐̐͆ͩ̈̊͒̔i̠̦̳̝̜͈͉̺͇ͅon̻̮̣̳̖̜͒͛̎̎̂ͤ.̣͈̖̱̝̝̳̗̹͍͎̓̀̅͐͗͆͋ͥ͂̇ͤ ̱͖̥̫̼̘͈̖̥̀́̍͑ͥ̈́͗͐̊ T͉̗̮̟̥̟̩̦̊̒͛ͮͫ̌̀ͩẖ͓͎̰͚̤̦͍̻̘̉͂̒͛̄̈͋ͩ͛̎ė̸͕̲̼̗̦̗͕̼͔̼̽ͭ̓ͤ̌ͤ͗ͤ̄ ̘͓͚͙͓̘͕̫̘̝̯ͅͅB͚̟͖̰̝̰̲̋͑͂̃ͭͮͭa̶͍̙̯͕͔̺̩͖͇͈͉͚͚͉͡tm͐̎͒a͙ͥn ̻̼͚͉̤̰̰́͆̅ͬ͌ͫ̈(2̷̶̧̰͓̪̺͕̘̋̏̋ͧ̌̏02͎͚̪̩͈̆̽ͪ̀͆2̸̫̣̩͓̘̖͈̻ͨ̔̄̄̔̂̾̃)̨̨͇̞̭̺͇͓͋ͧ̾̅̏̈́̀ ͦ̌ͭ͂ͦ̄̆͛͊̇̄̇͊̚͢͏͔͚̙̯͇̺̭̳̥̺͙͖͚͔î̖̥̦̱̰̯͈̻̬̜̖̌ͦ͆ͭͫ̐ͦ̊͗̀̚͡͠sͨͣ̓̎ͦ̍͑ ̵̢̲̝͚̞̹̱͕̠̻͂̊̉̊̓ͨ̌ͬ͑̚͝ͅr̶͙̘̬̘̗̘̱̖͇̘̪͝e̫͙̦͖̬̗͙̼̬̘͈̠̩̘̯a̲̝̙̘͖͔̪̝͆ͥ̊̍ͩ̈́ͫ̚ļ͘;̝̈́ ̧̥͙͓̟̖̭̹̰̹͉̮̼͙͎̫̅ͩ͊̆ͪ̌ͬ̂ͩ̊̈́̉ͥ̇̆̕̕į̮̬͉̼̲͈̫͓̖̯͍̣͓ͪ̎̽ͬͯ̊͂͋ͯͣͥ̏̒͐̚͝ͅͅt̷͞ ̧̣̟̜̣̞͚̹͈͚̔̋ͩ̔̿̉̈́̎̉̊͘ͅị̖̰̹̞̫͚̗̹ͭͤ͗̓̅̿́ͨ͑̌͢ͅs̩̗̋ͪ ͠҉̖̣̩ń̶ọ̭̹̏͂̒t͊͏̭ ̡̖̼̟̦̝͡a͡͠ ̉

I hope I'm doing this right.

[emo-batboy]

Can we get the queerbait reaction meme from the latest update? Because that is 100% me and I need that in my life 🤣😭🤣😭🤣😭

Here you are <3 for your queerbaiting endeavors

[emo-batboy]

A Wild Battinson (Social Media AU)

Part 55 (Masterlist)

(Part 56)

@bruciemilf SUPERBAT

There were some extra SuperBat posts I had to cut out. They might be saved for a later part? Who knows? Also I got so caught up in the Caleb and SuperBat storylines, I forgot about the T-shirt shenanigans lol so those are the last ones. Let me know if you want all the before and afters. (There will be much more Caleb and Kiddies tomorrow. I promise.)

AND WHO IS EXCITED FOR SNL??! I KNOW I AM

Nonetheless, have a lovely day :) MWAH 😘

[emo-batboy]

Every time someone asks me who Bruce’s celebrity face claim is for my Battinson AU, I have to triple check I didn’t just make up The Batman (2022) in some sort of fever dream. It’s happened at least three times now. The movie still exists.

[emo-batboy]

Somewhere out there in the DC multiverse, there’s a world where Battinson’s parents didn’t die, and he became the Lance Stroll of Formula One racing. Wayne Enterprises has an F1 team, Thomas brought Bruce to races when he was young, they indulged his love of cars until he was winning kart races at 8. He BEGGED to help design the race cars, ended up making a great car, and now Wayne has turned from a midfield team to nearly top three.

You’d think everyone hates Bruce because he’s a nepo baby, but he’s just so nice and smiley (like Lance lol) that everyone loves him anyway. His dad is the team’s chairman and pretty hands-on just like Lawrence Stroll. Fans call Bruce the F1 Princess as a joke since he’s already the Prince of Gotham, but then it sticks, and now everyone makes edits of him with tiaras on every time he makes it to the podium. He doesn’t get it, but he’s not going to complain either. His fans are just silly. (He blushes so much when anyone calls him princess to his face, though. Fight me.)

Bruce still insists on everything being black because it’s his favorite color. It was already mostly black before he joined, but now it’s even blacker. His suit is all black. The car is all black. The helmet is all black. He loves it. He looks just like the dark, regal old money rich boy you’d imagine until he’s smiling and talking about racing. (Imagine a meme with two cars next to each other, one being WE’s. It says: “Bruce’s Car v. Bruce’s Personality.” The other one is covered in glitter obv.) One time, a little girl gives him a tiara that she painted black herself and asks him to wear it if he wins. (He does win. He puts it on at the podium. He’s embarrassed the entire time. The champagne rubs some of the black away. It’s a treasured memory and sits right on top in his trophy case.)

His fellow drivers call him Brucie to tease him. He’s a bit awkward during interviews, but that just makes him endearing. He’s also tall for an F1 driver (nepo baby core) so there’s always jokes about him towering over everyone. One time, he came second to Lewis Hamilton, but you could still see he was visibly standing taller on the podium, and people would not stop making jokes about it. (It was mostly his hair, but you know how Twitter is.) Speaking of hair, it will NOT stay flat. He looks insane every time he takes his helmet off. He could be sweating for hours in there but when he takes the thing off, he looks like he’s through in a tornado. (Again, memes.) He knows so much about car mechanics, even for a driver, and will regularly start talking to other drivers or the press about the tiniest of parts in the engine or break system, unaware that everyone is completely lost. (Also memes about that.)

When he’s 23, he suffers a pretty bad crash. It knocks him out for about twenty seconds, and his mom and dad are ready to pull him completely from the sport, but he refuses to stop, and despite missing a few races to recover—his dad’s still a doctor—he ends up winning the next race and gets to stay.

During his F1 career, it’s pretty much guaranteed that he’ll get fastest laps, but he only gets podium like 40–50% of the time. There’s always drama that apparently Wayne Enterprises is trying to become top three, but they insist that they’re not as competitive. They will always have respect for every team, and it shows. They never join in on protests. They always wish the other teams luck, and they genuinely congratulate the winners. Bruce is always the first to hug the winner :)

Before Bruce joined, the Wayne team was always a midfield team, and they were perfectly comfortable with it. WE had good-looking cars, they designed good-looking cars, and they sold good-looking cars, and F1 was just a way of promoting that. Thomas loved watching the races, and he was happy to see them get podium a few times per season, and that was it.

Until Bruce became their lead driver, and he wanted to really earn his seat, and he wanted to get podium, and he wanted to design a faster car, and he wanted to win, and Thomas Wayne couldn’t say no to his son, and suddenly Wayne Enterprises was inching closer and closer to the front of the grid. Now, they’re still not The Best, but they’re a team that future drivers look up to.

During a season of DTS, Bruce is 27. Netflix films the Wayne episode when there’s a fatal crash in F2, and Bruce was nearby when it happened. He ends up crying on camera for ten minutes. They had to cut almost all of it, but we get the most gut-wrenching confessional about how after he heard the news, in that moment, he didn’t want to be an F1 driver. He admits that if he hadn’t become a driver, he was going to become a doctor like his father, and he wonders if he could have saved the driver’s life if he did that instead. “What am I really doing if I can’t help others? I could have been anything…Maybe being a driver was selfish. Maybe I don’t belong on the track anymore.”

He’s visibly distraught during the moment of silence on the day of the race, but Bruce decided to continue because he wants to make the fans and spectators happy. (That’s his job, anyway. That’s what he does.) Despite getting pole position the previous day, he doesn’t get fastest lap or make it to the podium, but he still gets fourth. He has a long talk with his father away from cameras and calls his mom. The future’s uncertain for a few days until Bruce comes back to training. To finish the episode, he says he’s going to continue driving, even if he might need a bit of time to get his confidence back, and he pledges to one day make the safest F1 car ever seen. Even if it’s part of the risk of being a driver, he doesn’t want to see any more drivers losing their lives to the sport they love.

When he’s around 35 or 40, he retires from Formula One so he can inherit Wayne Enterprises, and he takes his father’s place as chairman of the team. Since he has the time now, he holds up on his promise to make an even safer car—the designs inspiring safer car designs for other teams as well—and they pick out two incredible drivers who end up finally (FINALLY) moving Wayne Enterprises into one of the top three teams. They win the world championship twice in a row before falling back a bit and only winning it every couple of years, but they’re nonetheless fierce competitors. Bruce still has a ton of kids, some of which like F1 just like he does, but he is the only Wayne to become a Formula One driver.

I just think Battinson would love driving for F1 :)

[emo-batboy]

A Wild Battinson (Social Media AU)

Part 54 (Masterlist)

(Part 55)

@bruciemilf a lot of reading in this one, forgive me

If you wanna know more about the Battinson WIRED interview, read more HERE!

Is SuperBat endgame? Who knows? (Okay, I don’t actually intend to make them endgame, but I’m still on the fence. You could persuade me. But idk.) Anyway, it looks like Caleb’s bunking in Wayne tower for a few days with Tim. I WONDER what’ll happen.

That’s it! Have a great day, and I’ll see you tomorrow :)

[emo-batboy]

A Wild Battinson (Social Media AU)

Part 53 (Masterlist)

(Part 54)

@bruciemilf

Every time I try to save this as a draft, it disappears because of the video so have this update early!! (Also, yes, I did add the “HI HATER” design to that shirt. Be nice to me. It was hard.)

Fun fact: I originally thought these pics were from some random red carpet and was ready to make up a fake charity gala for it until I saw amFAR on backdrop and realized it’s actually a charity gala so YAY! It’s even a NY-based charity. How lucky am I?

So in the spirit of amFAR, be gay do crime. SEE YA!

[emo-batboy]

i'd like the chart thanks!

Also, there's another person who wants to rp Leo, can they?

Okay a few people are asking for the chart so here’s the current chart!! (I took out some characters that are still not as fleshed out. That includes Nathan, Ria, Nina, Ashley, Zoe, Ray, Maggie, and the hater and Metropolis characters, but they’re all filler characters rn)

A Wild Battinson Character Lore Continuity

- Felicity

- Oldest of the bunch, right between Millennial and Gen Z

- Works at an office, besties with everyone there. Corporate girlie (does use the term girlboss)

- Like if a Gothamite/Bruce Wayne fan was swiftie-coded?

- She has a pet pitbull, you know that kind of white girl

- Tatum

- Goth U, Comp Sci major

- Keeps everyone he knows online at arms length so we don’t know much, has a small close knit friend group irl but he’s also mutuals with everybody on twitter because he’s that kinda guy yk?

- But they’re slowly convincing him. He’s getting there

- Marzia

- Oh god poor Marzia

- Italian, born in Northern Italy, English is her second language but you wouldn’t be able to tell if it weren’t for her slight accent

- Biggest Bruce Wayne stan, will go feral, but only gets replies from him at the worst moments possible

- *snorts like cocaine* “Please don’t do cocaine” is my personal favorite

- Goth U, she gives art major vibes but tacked on a double major in psychology last minute so now she’s staying a fifth year

- Reads smut, writes smut, part of the poetry club, def on booktok, you know the type

- Alejandro

- Runs an ice cream stand in the park on the weekends when it’s warm enough

- Bi, Dating Leo (pfp is them holding hands because he’s a whipped son of a bitch)

- He’s like if that normal-looking kind of athletic guy who always wore sweatshirts and basketball shorts to class just suddenly mentioned he had a boyfriend one day.

- He’s straight-coded but more specifically “the straight guy that gay guys have crushes on against their better judgement”-coded

- Knew the whole time he was bi but never REALLY liked a guy until Leo 🥺. whenever he looks at Leo, he’s got those madly in love eyes

- Thinks Batman is hot and suffers constant torment from Leo (who has a crush on Bruce) because of it

- Ale just wants to be bench pressed is that too much to ask? But It’s his fault he’s a twunk dating a twink so—

- Goth U, Really interested in tech stuff but he’s actually a sports medicine major. He wants to be a physical therapist for athletes

- Cannot hold his liquor

- Smile Watch

- Who knows

- It’s a mystery

- Lela

- Goth Girl

- BFF’s with Nico (goth girl, e-boy solidarity)

- Also good friends with Natalie, they lined up all their gen Ed’s together

- Chill in a Morticia Addams kinda way. She is Morticia Addams actually

- Mom owns a convenience store, she helps out after classes a lot

- Studied for the MCAT, did pretty well, she wants to be a doctor (probably neurosurgeon but it depends on what internship she gets)

- Currently completing the undergrad to grad program at Goth University with a masters in public health

- Natalie

- Former intern, now ASSISTANT at Wayne Press

- Got the job because she impressed Bruce with her good reporting skills, now works mostly on organizing press releases and maintaining Bruce’s public image

- Great at her job because she knows social media and Bruce Wayne Stans the best (she is one obv)

- (Babysits Bruce when Alfred is busy, how did this happen, why is this her job now? She’s tired of his shit lol)

- Still technically working part-time because she hasn’t gotten her degree yet, but she’s set to work full time after she graduates Goth U in May

- Sometimes while sitting at her desk she just gets that perspective shift where she’s like “how did I get here” Bruce Wayne Stans’ dreams do come true

- Caleb 🤡

- Literally 18/19 but aging faster than humanly possible with the stress he’s under

- Used to work at Bat Burger, left because the babysitting gig required more time

- Lives with his aunt who’s already retired (used to live alone, she never had kids or a husband so she’s loaded) He’s staying cuz his parents are super busy and travel for work :) and guess what crime-filled alley their window overlooks? I’ll give you one guess

- Babysits Tim, used to be a less serious gig but his parents have been out of town a lot lately (just vacationing without their child 🙄) and thankfully Caleb lives right across from their swanky apartment so he’s practically a nanny now (read: older sibling/third parent)

- Took a ton of childcare courses for this job and now he’s kind of interested in working at a daycare maybe? If Tim doesn’t kill him in his sleep first

- Recently graduated Goth High, now takes online classes at Goth Community College while deciding what to do with his life

- Jarod

- Recently graduated Goth High, now taking a gap year before starting GothU in the fall. Him and Caleb were always in the same classes so they’re super close (they’re the youngest)

- Future Comp Sci/English major (he wants to be a video game writer)

- Has a younger sister, and technically the oldest child but spiritually he’s the middle child.

- His parents and Priyanka’s parents are close friends so he kind of grew up seeing Priyanka as an older sister. That’s why they’re Like That.

- Literally so fed up with Priyanka, it’s not even funny (yes it is) but the second you’re rude to Priyanka, he will deck you, watch yourself

- Katie (Sweater Thief)

- ER Nurse at Gotham General Hospital, mostly does night shifts

- Gives chronically online energy when she’s online, but everyone in real life wouldn’t suspect a thing because she’s so good at having her life together (the code switch will give you whiplash)

- Surprisingly older than most of the others despite being Like That.

- Literally graduated with a 4.2 GPA how tf?

- BFF’s with Leo then became BFF’s with Ale too after they started dating (she is slowly corrupting Ale and I think that’s beautiful)

- Creator of the Babygirl Bruce Wayne Agenda and PROUD

- Priyanka

- Works at coffee shop owned by her mom called Caffe Mood. She plans to run it one day. Currently a barista

- Goth U, business major (accounting)

- Bilingual, knows Hindi

- LESBIAN QUEEN

- Despite being gay, She is allowed to think Bruce Wayne is hot, that is her Right

- Mad fucking crush on Georgia, calls her Georgie. Intends to never tell a soul. Will fail miserably

- Dead fucking set on the idea that Batman’s a vampire

- But she thinks everyone’s a vampire so—

- Her parents and Jarod’s parents are close friends so she kind of grew up seeing Jarod as a younger brother. That’s why they’re Like That

- Jarod is constantly on her nerves, wtf Jarod (but be mean to him and she’ll kill you)

- Leo

- Works at bookstore called Gotham City Bookstore

- Gay, Dating Alejandro

- Twink (derogatory)

- Swears his gaydar is the most accurate there is (always wrong)

- Made being gay his entire personality because he had an identity crisis in middle school and proceeded to have a massive crush on some straight guy all of high school (that guy was Ale, Leo’s gaydar is so off)

- BFF’s with Katie despite being a few years younger. They were in a high school production of Sweeney Todd together and the rest was history

- Calls every single celebrity gay as a joke, Ale reigns him in if he’s getting too out of hand

- Used to have a mad celebrity crush on Bruce, still kinda (definitely) does

- Attends GothU, undecided for a while but ultimately settled on mathematics because it’s ironically his best subject

- One of those mf’s that needs to be held back at all costs, god help Ale

- Rose 🌹

- Works a tailoring job full time

- Good friends with Felicity, she’s like the black cat to Felicity’s golden retriever

- 70% super nice and chill, 30% wild card party girl

- Gets drinks with friends a lot, tweets when drunk but no one can tell the difference. It’s amazing

- Does not seem horny, is horny. But like normal about it? If that’s a thing

- Nico

- Kinda plays the straight man of the group if the straight man was emo

- BFF’s with Lela (e-boy, goth girl solidarity)

- KING of twitter roasts. He makes memes to end lives.

- Pansexual, single, and probably writing bad poetry in his diary about it but don’t tell anyone

- Goth U, actually dunno the major. Probs public health with Lela but doesn’t want to be a doctor. More like research parallel to social sciences

- Has a 8/9yo sister named Madelaine whom he would die for despite not expecting to be an older brother so late in the game (what were his parents thinking)

- Has tea parties with her and all that jazz. She steals his eyeliner and chain accessories all the time, also she’s friends with Dick and Barbie (yes, Barbara Gordon) so sometimes he watches over their play dates

- He’s a “tough emo boy” so he totally doesn’t laugh at Madelaine’s puns. He’s a bitch ass liar

- Kellyanne

- GothU, marine biology. Transferred from GCCC with an associates degree to save money but now she’s got a full ride cuz of the WE higher education fund

- More recent Bruce Stan

- Pretty poor upbringing, that’s how she met Bruce Wayne. He bought her whole family groceries one night after her card declined at the convenience store trying to buy dinner

- Now she’s in it for the long haul :)

- Lia

- GothU, fashion merchandising

- A GIRL’S GIRL

- Older sister also attends Goth U, but she’s in med school

- More recent Bruce Wayne stan, still not particularly in with the culture and jokes but getting there

- Friends with Georgia and Elizabeth irl. Elizabeth was in the same sorority before graduating first. Got to know Georgia after Lia found her dog with Bruce at the park outside GothU. They party together now

- Elizabeth

- Graduated GothU last May and worked an internship at LexCorp, immediately regretted it but snagged a job at WE (thank god)

- Now works as a research assistant at Wayne Tech in the R&D department for commercial products

- Didn’t really get the whole Bruce Wayne Stan thing until Bruce Wayne personally wished her a happy birthday?? The man is so sweet?

- Absolutely loves her job but still screams at rubber ducks over faulty code in her little cubicle, but that’s the industry she chose so it’s a give and take

- Met Natalie through Stan twitter and now they DM each other about working at Wayne Enterprises

- Doesn’t post much on twitter but follows the main Bruce Stan accounts, irl friends with Lia and Georgia

- Georgia

- Has a dog named Bean

- GothU, majoring in like three languages, polyglot (including Hindi 😏)

- Works at a retail home decor kinda store (home goods?)

- So lesbian-coded, but does not know it yet. Priyanka is her gay awakening. She is now a regular at Caffe Mood (She thinks she just likes the coffee (yeah right))

- Works at Goth U’s admissions department over the summer too

- Once got drunk and locked herself onto a roof by accident, ended up hanging out with Batman (he offered to break into her apartment for her but she said “nah”)

- Jane

- Works at Wayne Enterprises

- Runs bring your kid to work day (idk what her actual job is but she’s an Essential Worker, okay?)

- Very sweet, 10/10, looks on the bright side but never in a toxic positivity way

- Super social too, became work friends with Bruce because she’s nice but not draining to his social battery? They have lunch on occasion

- Watched the Graysons die with Bruce, call that trauma bonding

- Watched her toxic ex’s car burn to a crisp after a joker spree and took a selfie with it (she can have a little revenge, as a treat)