#the life of... puns...

[spyglassrealms]

had a fucking hilarious dream that tumblr replaced the "block" function with the far funnier "glock" function, which did the exact same thing except whenever anyone blocked you a random bullet hole, like a png of a bullet hole, would appear on your blog. discourse blogs were unreadable bc you'd go to the page and the sheer amount of bullet hole pngs stacked over the blogs obscured everything. I woke myself up laughing

[devpalmer]

military recruiter: so what got you guys interested in the marine corps

enormous horde of hagfish, ispods and bottom-feeding crustaceans: oh. uh. is that how you pronounce it

[pomorama]

I find it incredibly funny from a meta/author perspective, that Ancient Greece decided to name their protagonist that angers many people “Anger Bringer” but, even funnier, is the in universe understating that anyone who meets Odysseus must have had the thought “oh dear, how unfortunate to be named hateful/hated” and then they have exactly One conversation with him and go “Ah I see now”

For reference, Odysseus’ name sounds very much like the Greek word odussomai, which can roughly mean “I am angry at” or “I am the cause of anger” (or simply “to hate” or “to dismiss”), a fact that is used for ironic effect frequently in the Odyssey.

It’s also specifically stated in Book 19 that Odysseus’ grandfather, a master thief and one who has also pissed off a lot of people, specifically named him this because “I am disliked by many, all across the world, and I dislike them back. So name the child Odysseus.” 19.428

Bro looked at his grandson and thought “Ahaha, this one’s going to be a troublemaker like me. Better get him started early.”

It’s like a terrible allegory for cause and effect or something.

[dekariosclan]

Some of Gale’s ✨Best Puns✨ collected by the amazing @senualothbrok from this massive audio clip, and featuring ADORABLE GALE CHIBIS drawn by her!!

As usual, all layout & design nonsense provided by yours truly. Magic provided by Gale. Book copies arriving at your local Sorcerous Sundries soon, email Gale’s publicist tara@waterdeep.com for more info.

[chanrizard]

thanks to duck* stay...? 🦆🤨

* "우리 STAY = our STAY" / "오리 STAY = duck STAY"

[anoant-haikyuu-dump]

never trust the guy with a bright blonde mohawk to style your hair

[carouselunique]

Meet Twinkleshine, the Smug and Dramatic The Illustrious Illusionist of Swap Six/Side Stars!

Fun Fact: Twinkleshine is an absolute glitter fanatic. She loves glitter so much. Shiny things are her kryptonite give her a glitter snow globe and you can distract her for hours. That's how she picked her name, because she just loves twinkling shiny objects.

[funkyybonez]

THE GOOBERS ‼️‼️

dan and herbie as lps bc my hyperfixations need to blend together to keep me sane 👍

I'm going to make these bad boys into keychains soon, so watch for that if you want one !!

[angeibody]

God has forsnaken them

[aroaceleovaldez]

because in TKC most Eyes match the gender of the god they host (and just in general in-universe it seems most immortals and hosts in possession/possession-like scenarios are the same gender) this implies that the two outliers we know of - Zia (rejected hosting a goddess but was able to host a god instead) and Percy (Eye of Nekhbet) - may be trans. so uh happy pride to Zia and Percy specifically

[swiggity-swexual-i-am-asexual]

Danny Phantom doesn’t want to be king.

And the Observants also don’t want him to be king.

Frankly, very VERY few people want him to be king, dead or alive.

But opening the sarcophagus, even if it’s closed NOW, disrupted some magic protections. Until those can be fixed, summoning spells need to be answered by SOMEONE. Not all of summons, just like—once a month or so. Because if they don’t let that power outlet happen, all of those summon magics build up and suddenly Pariah Dark reigns again. Answering the summon basically dispels the built up magic, like opening a dam.

Again, Danny doesn’t WANT to do this either, but everyone else involved is a bad choice. He won’t even be named prince, because THEN that implies he COULD be king. He needs a title, of some kind, a position in the court, no matter how tenuous, so he can do the thing. Something where no one in their right or even WRONG mind would think to try to kill him for the position or try to marry him or something equally annoying to deal with.

So.

He becomes the Ghost Court Jester.

He even gets a fancy little outfit upgrade when he’s summoned, all black and white bell hats and shoes, a stupid little ruffle collar and black parachute pants, even face paint with a tiny dot of glowing neon green at the tip of his nose. The works. Better yet, if he hasn’t been ‘unsummoned’, his human form is just the exact same costume with swapped colors. He can change into his normal outfits, but until that circle has been disrupted, the next summon, or the next full or new moon, he’s stuck into the outfit when he first transforms from either form.

The Phantom Jester, which is a title more intimidating than Danny appears to be if we are to be honest, cracks jokes and never, EVER takes the summons seriously.

“Listen, I just had to get my hours in and it’s the last day of the lunar month, you got lucky I came at all.”

“I got the position by virtue of not wanting to go to Time Jail for a crime I technically didn’t commit and technically probably won’t but, well, eyes are the beholder of the grudge or something else equally cryptic to make you mad.”

“Is this a slumber party? … do you have cake? Bummer. Well, enjoy the bleeding walls then.”

“Whether I help you or not is entirely dependent on how well of a run down you can give me on this book I have to read that I have not at all touched.”

“Explain the reason in three sentences or less. I suggest less. And if it’s stupid I’m hitting you—oh you think this circle can contain me? Haha. It won’t.”

“Is that chicken blood? Why?? What did the chickens do to you?”

There are props in his costume but he literally never knows what he’s gonna pull out of his sleeves. Danny can’t even do a balloon animal and knows exactly zero card tricks, which would be more of an issue if the cards weren’t the size of a dinner plate. He barely even juggles and he’s honestly probably just utilizing his rarely-used telekinetic powers, but he does give people flowers if they haven’t been a total jerk. And if those flowers are like, rare and have seeds for propagation, well… he literally wouldn’t know. No, really, he doesn’t. He gets summoned by at least two ecology departments and he has no idea why, I mean, if he had a nickel—

He also had pies and is NOT afraid to use them.

[cat-cosplay]

We decided to russet up an adventuring party for Dungeons & Dragons.

[gottagobackintime]

Ellie is 14 years old. And while she's, in some ways, mature for her age, she should not be asked to sacrifice herself for the whole world. "She should have been given a choice and we all know she would have been fine with dying if that meant there is a cure." Absolutely not. You do not ask a 14 year old to make a choice like that. Hell, I'd argue that it's not even a choice. The fact that it's adults that would tell her that makes it even more messed up. These cool adults who are out there trying to save people tells you that you are special, that you're the key to save humanity. Of course you're going to listen to them. Especially if you've gone through the things Ellie's been through. If she as an adult wants to make that decision, sure. But not when she's a scared, vulnerable child.

Should Joel have told her that he killed all of them to save her? Probably. Then he could have explained that she's valuable, not because she's possibly the key to a cure. But because she's a human being that has feelings, that deserves to live. And you could argue as much as you want that she's old enough or mature enough to make that choice. But I don't agree. Yes, she seems to be like that, we see her being snarky and tough but the more Joel shows that he cares about her, the more she lets that mask slip. And she acts like a child would act with their parents.

If her only goal was to reach the fireflies so that she could give herself to them to do whatever with her so that they could find a cure. She wouldn't have been so angry/upset that Joel didn't want to take her, why would it matter who took her there? Because Joel cares about her, and having him let her go hurt her. She could have left Joel to die and gone to find Tommy so that he could take her, like Joel asked her to do. But she didn't because she cares about him. The way she clings to Joel when he finds her and he calls her baby girl should tell you that she isn't ready to make a decision on whether she should sacrifice herself or not. SHE IS A CHILD. And Joel allows her to be a child.

I honestly have no problem with him killing them all to save her. "He took the choice from her!" What choice? They didn't give her a choice, they didn't tell her what would happen to her. And do you really think that they would ever give her a choice. If she'd said no, do you actually believe that they would go "Ah, well. Nothing we can do then, off you go with your new dad. Bye!" Don't make me laugh. They would have just done what they did now. Sedate her and begun to harvest her for what they needed. That's not a choice. She NEVER had a choice, Joel didn't take the choice from her because it was never there. It would have been an illusion of choice. She's also traumatised, most recently from her run in with David. And you want her to make a literal life or death choice?? I completely understand why Joel decided to go on a killing spree, he's protecting a vulnerable traumatised CHILD from people who doesn't care about her, who just wants to use her body for spare parts.

It's not about choice or not having a choice, it's about being valued as a person and not having your life taken away from you by vultures.

[scootkiddo]

Joel “you’re cargo” Miller will stay up all night sacrificing hours of sleep just to ensure Ellie’s protection. Joel “it’s best we keep our histories to ourselves” Miller will indulge to Ellie’s curiosity surrounding his brother and answer her questions. Joel “stop acting like this kid has a future in front of her” Miller will try to pour oil on troubled waters and tell Ellie she won’t get shot because he won’t let her. Joel “nothing bad in there except you” Miller will fight a mental hurricane to offer some form of solace and verbally empathize with the the fact that Ellie’s innocence and childhood is jeopardized by a cruel and unforgiving world she doesn’t deserve to suffer from. Joel “that’s not funny” Miller will giggle like a school child as he basks in the absurd humor and joy and safety and solidarity of the one silver lining left in his life. Joel Miller-

[prokopetz]

The eternal struggle of "on the one hand, I find this stereotype super alienating and don't want to engage with it, but on the other hand, I've just been handed a setup for a horrible pun".

[chiikinwing]

have some mean gills designs ! :D i like these guys a normal amount. I've gained an attachement and i wanna put these lil guys in a jar and just keep them in a box for safety