#the man was in HELL without her
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ahhh i read the entirety of under the checkered flag last night and got like 4 hours of sleep 💀 so so good! i’m curious can we get jungkook’s pov of what went on in his head when oc rejected the first kiss that led him to sleeping w that model bc i wanna knowww!
ok so i have had many thoughts on this. not even kidding ive been shook by this request bc it’s so REAL. like, yeah i also want to explain what this man was thinking… bc perhaps it may not make sense why he is the way he is.
at the end of the day… he’s toxic internally and that is ALL he’s known before you. i mean, the guy has fucked so many girls in a past life.
this is how i see it.™️ if you disagree… well, good luck charlie (I don’t write for the weak.) enjoy!!
warnings ; talk of previous sexual activity!
prompt ; in which she isn’t you.
part of the under the checkered flag universe
He knows.
God, he’s known for as long as he’s been in your presence. It’s not your fault, nothing you can contain. He’s just known that you were never his to claim.
When he invited you to the afterparty, a tiny part of him, some subconscious section of his mind, hoped you would deny the invitation, so that he wouldn’t have to keep dreaming of you, dreaming of what your lips would feel like against his, dreaming of your touch against his warm skin.
He knows many things, but what he knows for certain is that he should not have brought you onto the balcony.
“You were really something out there today,” You speak softly, and his brain goes to mush, palms sweaty and hesitant with some sort of desire he can’t contain. Any form of a compliment from you causes his breath to hitch.
All he can respond with, after a gulp of saliva, “Yeah?”
You don’t dare look at him. He just stands there, inhaling your scent from a mere few inches away, trying to collect a part of you he can’t touch. “I’ve never seen anything like that.”
And the thing about Jungkook is he’s received compliments in his lifetime. Too many to count. From fans, from reporters, from faceless voices who say his name like it belongs to them. They’ve called him beautiful, breathtaking, a living work of art. They’ve told him his voice drips with a smooth tone, like honey and sin, that his body was carved by gods who took their time. He’s learned to accept it, to let the words wash over him, to detach from them entirely.
But when it’s you? When it’s your voice, soft and careless, dropping a compliment like it means nothing?
It kills him. He feels devastatingly and utterly ill.
Because you’re his friend. That’s what you’ve always been. And that word friend feels dirty in his mouth now, like a lie, like a word someone else assigned to the two of you before he ever had a say in it. He barely even knows if it means anything anymore. Not when you look at him like that. Not when your voice wraps around a simple, thoughtless phrase like it’s just syllables in a nonsensical sentence.
There’s more words exchanged, things he doesn’t fully process because he’s so stuck on how beautiful your curves look in the dress Jisoo picked out for you, the dress he sent her money for and told her not to tell you.
He doesn’t really process anything until you say, “ Sometimes I think I like being alone so much because it’s the only time I don’t have to be anything for anyone else.”
It’s so inherently him, the things that you say sometimes. You’re a mirror image of him, some version of himself looking back, only better. Sharper where he is dull, softer where he is rough, a perfect contradiction that somehow fits him more than he fits himself. You say things he’s thought a thousand times but never dared to speak aloud. You see the world like he does, or maybe you see it clearer, untainted by the noise, the expectation, the weight of what people want him to be.
That’s how he knows he’s royally fucked.
He can’t be just friends with you, not when your voice slips into his thoughts so effortlessly, lodging itself in the quiet spaces between his ribs. Or, not when your words make his skin feel too tight, his body too aware, his heart too loud in his own chest.
Not when it feels like you’re crawling inside his head and making a home there.
His body moves before his brain does. He can barely breathe, every hum of oxygen being ripped from his lungs when he shifts to look at you, stare into your eyes that longingly look into his own, like you’re analyzing every part of his soul.
There’s a glimmer of hope behind his eyes, he knows it.
He feels it like a heartbeat in his throat, pulsing, thrumming, betraying him. He’s staring at your lips, watching, waiting, praying for a sign that you’ll kiss him back if he lets himself cross that final, irreversible line. Every fiber of his being is screaming at him to do it.
He needs to close the space, to drown in you, to let his hands map the curve of your jaw and finally give in to the thing that’s been eating him alive from the inside out.
He reaches out, brushing the lightest touch against your wrist. It’s barely anything. Yet, there’s a slight hesitation from your body language.
You take a step back. Small, barely noticeable. It’s enough.
It’s enough to tell him he’s made a mistake, that he can’t cross this barrier, can’t shatter the fragile thing you both pretended was friendship, can’t be so foolish as to believe that this could survive the weight of his want.
You swallow, exhaling shakily. “We’re just friends.”
Three words, that when put together, shatter him completely.
God, he’s known this whole time.
Then, slowly, because it’s all he can muster, he smiles knowingly. “I know.”
He offers to go back inside, and you smile sweetly. There’s an awkward silence that takes its place between you two, and he immediately distances himself from you. From a few feet away, he watches you shuffle over to Jisoo, whisper something in her ear, and she walks with you towards what he assumes is the restroom.
The grave mistake he has made is so irreversible he wants to kick himself in the face.
He marches right up to the bar, asking for a whiskey on the rocks, something he hasn’t dared drink since he met you.
Realistically, you ruined it for him. Ruined everything. Whiskey used to be his escape, his sharp-edged comfort, the thing that burned just enough to remind him he was still alive. But then you happened, and suddenly, nothing tasted quite the same.
Tonight, however, he drinks. He drinks like he used to. He lets the dark liquor scrape down his throat, letting it seep into the cracks of his mind, letting it pull him back into old habits.
It’s easier to fall back into the emptiness, to slip into the hollow space where his ego and his loneliness curl up together like old friends. To let himself believe, just for a night, that the answer to whatever this ache inside him is doesn’t have your name on it.
He doesn’t want to be the man who can’t sleep without the ghost of your touch. Doesn’t want to be the man who looks for you in every crowded room, even when he knows you’re not there.
So, he downs another glass. Then… another.
At some point in the night, he stops caring about where you are. Stops caring if you got home safe, if you’re tucked into bed, if you’re even thinking about him at all.
He starts wanting something simple.
A mindless thing. He craves something that doesn’t look like you, doesn’t talk like you, doesn’t make him feel like his skin is too tight over his bones, like his heart is clawing its way out of his chest every time he breathes.
So when a model—one he’s had before, months ago, a lifetime ago—slides up next to him, trailing a perfectly manicured hand down his arm, he doesn’t even blink. He does not react when she leans in, lips brushing the shell of his ear, asking in that sultry, practiced voice, “Your place or mine?”
He should feel something. Excitement, relief, even just the slightest flicker of interest.
But he feels nothing, just a dull, gnawing ache in his chest, the kind that no amount of whiskey or soft skin or easy pleasure can fix.
Still, he nods… takes her hand. Prays to every god he doesn’t believe in that it works this time (Except nothing works. Nothing ever fucking works. Because no matter who he touches, no matter whose lips ghost over his skin; they are never you. And that is something he will never be able to drink away.)
So, the next time you see him, when you inevitably find out, when you stomp to his house, all rage and jealousy, everything he knows fades to dust.
Now, surely, undoubtedly, you are his to claim.
。・:*:・゚★,。・:*:・゚☆
masterlist + request
#I am the problem™️#wrote this shit wine drunk and I am scarred from it#the man was in HELL without her#hope this helps anon!!!!!#jungkook#jeon jungkook#jungkook x reader#jungkook x you#jungkook fanfic#jungkook angst#jungkook smut#bts fanfic#bts x reader#bts army#bts jungkook
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Jason is never brought back, and instead of being lost in the time stream, Bruce dies. And realizes there’s an afterlife.
(Given that Bruce knows magic is real it’s not that much of a leap to realize there’s an afterlife. Of course, the bigger realization for him was that he ended up in heaven of all places.)
Bruce gets to see his parents. He spends all of his time with them, getting to know them, explaining his life to them. They have all the time in the world and Bruce feels a sense of peace he hadn’t felt when he was alive. By the time he gets to explaining his children, actually getting to tell his parents that they have grandchildren, he realizes they’ve stopped talking.
The novelty still hasn’t worn off for them, for Bruce getting to have real conversations with them and for his parents actually getting to see their son again. It’s no surprise that it knocks the wind out of Bruce when he remembers. Remembers that he’s dead. That his son is dead. That it doesn’t seem like a bad thing anymore because it means he can finally see him again.
But his parents have a weird look on their faces. They had all pushed through the awkwardness, how Bruce wasn’t their little boy anymore but a stoic adult who has techniques for withstanding torture and lacks emotional vulnerability. How Bruce hadn’t gotten a chance to actually know Thomas and Martha beyond scattered society stories that painted a caricature of who he’s talking to now.
But when he realizes that Jason is here, Bruce lights up. He can finally see his son.
So he asks his parents how to visit Jason. His parents had mentioned spending time with their own parents, meeting family members from different generations, how eventually Bruce would get to meet them too, he knows they know how to navigate the afterlife. And he’s finally ready to learn.
When Bruce asks, Thomas excuses himself from the conversation. Says that there’s someone Bruce has to talk to and he needs to go get them.
Martha waits with him, placing a hand on his shoulder. Thomas comes back with a blonde woman that Bruce almost doesn’t recognize. She looks nothing like her picture in his files, or the one Jason kept on his desk.
Thomas and Martha give Bruce and Catherine space while they talk about Jason.
She explains how when Jason had first come to the afterlife, Thomas and Martha had reached out. How the four of them had talked, bonded, grown close. How it had taken Jason time to emotionally recover from his death, from the betrayal of his Mother. From what he felt was the betrayal of his Father.
Jason didn’t want to see him.
Catherine had tried to explain, but Bruce hadn’t been able to follow much of the conversation after that revelation.
His son, who Bruce had turned into a cautionary tale for his other children, who he had missed every single day, who he had grieved and torn himself apart over, didn’t want to see him. And Bruce deserved it. Had chosen to get into a helicopter and left him standing in the sand. Had buried him.
Catherine is far gentler about it than he deserves. Says that Jason loved him, was grateful for everything, but just wasn’t ready.
He would still agree to seeing Thomas and Martha, still saw them as his grandparents, but couldn’t handle seeing Bruce, even if he missed him. Dying didn’t fix everything, the afterlife wasn’t some solution to all of the problems people had when they were alive. The afterlife was just the ability to have more time. And people didn’t come back from what Jason went through easily. Catherine tells him in no uncertain terms that Bruce will have to regain Jason’s trust. If he actually is interested in getting to see him.
Bruce tells her he will do anything to see Jason again. She nods and tells him she’ll keep in touch.
So he waits.
And waits.
And sees his parents, his grandparents, his great grandparents.
And waits.
He waits so long that he sees Harvey.
He sees Talia.
He sees Alfred.
After that, the waiting doesn’t feel quite the same. After all, he eventually sees Dick, again.
Bruce spends his time in the afterlife waiting for his children, and he is both saddened and relieved when he finally gets to see them again.
Dick, thankfully, is first. Bruce is also thankful he had to wait so long to see him again.
Eventually, after long, long lives, they’re all back together. With some new additions. Bruce gets Tim and Damian and Cass and grandchildren and so many people he has missed. Selina visits on “Tuesdays” and eventually he has a new level of normal for his afterlife. Of getting to see his family, his friends.
Dick is the one that eventually tells him.
He doesn’t say much, exactly. Can’t tell him how he is or anything concrete, but he says that he’s seen Jason. That some of the others have also been to see him.
Bruce tries to respond, to have something to say to that, but he can’t. The afterlife isn’t painless, and there’s nothing he can say that won’t hurt whoever he says it to. So he nods at Dick, places his hand on his son’s shoulder, and lets it be.
If linear time existed in the afterlife, then Bruce could say he’d been here longer than he’d ever been alive. Long enough that even Clark stops by occasionally.
It’s rare for him to be alone now. If he wanted it, sought it out, there is always someone for him to be able to talk to, spend time with. But sometimes, if he wandered out a little too far, he could find a small brook he used to play in as a kid, before the West end of the property had dried up.
Here, his Father had “built” a small bridge over the brook. It was part of a footpath that traveled through this part of the afterlife. If he squinted, Bruce could pretend he saw the West wing of the manor, and in the other direction, the edge of Gotham proper.
Clark would have called him Huckleberry if he’d seen him, one leg dangling over the edge of the bridge, the other bent, lying on his back. He could pretend he felt the wood grain, or maybe even a splinter as he listened to the flow of the water. Bruce had closed his eyes, wondering if now that he was dead and the brook wasn’t dried up, if it had fish in it. If it was someplace he could take Dick fishing. He’d gotten it into his head recently that he wanted to try a bunch of father-son bonding activities with both of his dads, so Bruce and John had been making a list.
Between one second and the next, Bruce felt a presence next to him. You didn’t have to travel on foot in the afterlife, or stick to any sort of conventions from being alive really, it was more of a courtesy thing than anything else.
When Bruce opened his eyes, he expected to see Tim, who broke those sorts of conventions more frequently than his siblings. Bruce had a feeling it had something to do with the boy’s obsession with science fiction, but he also presumed it was because he knew Bruce really didn’t mind.
When he glanced up at his son, Bruce lost all pretense of maintaining the “body” that was lying on the bridge. He would have said his heart stopped if he’d still had one. As it was, blinking, breathing, any of the processes that emulated life that people unconsciously maintained here, stopped.
Jason wasn’t even looking at him and Bruce couldn’t take his eyes off his son’s face, unwilling to jeopardize whatever this was.
He looked older, his jawline more defined and he sat taller, legs dangling off the bridge. Age was a funny thing in the afterlife, you could control how you appeared to others, but your mental state usually drew you towards a particular age. For his children, they mostly appeared in their 20s. Bruce kept himself in his 30s or 40s, unless his parents asked. Jason, if Bruce had to guess, was about 20, maybe 22 at the oldest.
When Jason finally looked over at him, he remembered how to breathe. He tried to clear his throat, to think of something to say, to tell Jason how much he missed him, how much he loved him, but all that came out was a strangled gasp. And then he was talking.
“Alfred said that what happened to me was a tragedy. Dick called it a nightmare. At first, Mom didn’t know how to talk about it since being a vigilante was hard for her to picture. She still doesn’t really get it, but I can’t exactly blame her. We led pretty odd lives for a while there.”
“I’ve met Tim and Damian and Cass, you know? Met their partners, their children. They’ve told me a few stories. How some cases went, missions with the League. Their own hero teams. I think Tim was the most excited to talk to me, not so sure about the others.”
“You’ve still got Alfred in your corner, although it’s odd seeing Dick argue for you. One thing about this place is that your memories don’t stay fuzzy or nothing, so all those fights you guys had? Crystal clear. Actually thought he’d take a swing at me once, not that it’d do anything. Still, glad you guys ended up figuring it out and all.”
“Mom said she came to see you when you got here. I’m assuming that’s why I haven’t seen you, although that’s a surprise too, you actually listening when someone asks you not to do something. The way the others talk about you I’d think you became Big Brother after I left. Worse than Babs even.”
“I’ve tried thinking about it. I mean, it’s been years since it happened and all but. I still don’t know what there is to say. Everyone’s been trying to convince me that you’d actually want. Well, that you’d want to see me. Talk or something.”
“But I know what I did. What happened. It’s why I left, I knew that you didn’t. That you wouldn’t ask me to leave, but that. You didn’t want me to stay.”
As he’d talked, Jason’s gaze had drifted back towards the water below them. His tone, retrospective and light, changed. Accusatory.
“It’s fucked up that you kept the suit, Bruce. No one wanted to admit it, but I know about the case. At least it meant I knew what you wanted was Robin, you enshrined the damn thing. So, yeah. I took off. Not like it worked out much better but it’s too late now. I don’t know what you want me to say. I figured dying would at least get me out of the lecture but I can’t even have that now.”
“So. Tell Dick this is me paying back that favor I owed him. Or whatever, I don’t really care. But everyone can stop coming around and all. I’ve said what I wanted to. I’ll hear you out and then I say we’re square.”
Jason had been looking away from him still, but when he got to the end of what was likely a prepared speech, he finally looked at Bruce. His face went slack in surprise. Bruce could have laughed at the expression if he wasn’t already crying.
“Jason. You are my son, even if,” Bruce took a breath. “Even if you don’t see me as your father. I never would have asked you to leave because I never wanted you to go. I can’t imagine- I love you. I have missed you every day since I lost you. I did not handle loosing you well. I understand that you’re upset and I think there’s a lot we should talk about. Even- especially if it’s going to be difficult. I am so sorry, Jason. None of it was your fault - it was mine. Please. Please let me try to- I don’t want to lose you again.”
#batman#bruce wayne#jason todd#dick grayson#batfam#batfamily#alright so it’s definitely not ‘finished’ per se but the idea that jason stays dead and doesn’t want to see bruce when he does wouldn’t#leave my mind. and yeah their dialogue is very monologue-y or too emotionally intelligent for bruce. big whoop the guy has the whole#afterlife to get better at talking to his kids.#(also the idea that jason died and was later revived in the coffin just to be unable to dig himself out? definitely occurred to me)#(i think it would kill bruce if that happened tho & was not the point of this post lol)#i think bruce and jason have a long road ahead of them. that jason was angry even without the pit#i love the idea of bruce and his children’s parents eventually basically coparenting together in heaven#he hangs out with john and mary maybe meets damian’s sister (idk what happens to infants that pass away maybe martha & thomas ‘raised’ her)#damian! does! not! go! to! hell! he! is! a! child!#also look man idfk if willis is there. i dont know much about his character to decide to put him there or not.#although i did put harvey there. look im not solid on any of this - if someone writes a better afterlife reunion fic please tag me!#(lowkey i also think bruce and tim would be the most adept at navigating the afterlife after they got over the shock of it all. like they#would figure out the lore and how to teleport or treat it like a dreamscape or something idk)
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help i'm just looking through the artbook to get a feel for when/why their nevarran design concept might've shifted and WHITEWASHED ISABELA JUMPSCARE.

#what the hell man.#kept morrigan in frame so you have a point of comparison here but even without her this is crazy.#like. cool outfit. WHY IS SHE WHITE?
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happy halloween!!
#im going insane i couldve posted this in time but my laptop is slow as hell rn#oh well it's still halloween somewhere#liana vampyr#creepypasta oc#crp oc#jeff the killer#jeff the killer fanart#jeff the killer art#creepypasta#creepypasta fanart#creepypasta art#jeff the killer x oc#oc x jeff the killer#fangblade#artist on tumblr#halloween#halloween art#OH liana is dressing up as the iconic zombie girl from resident evil :D#ik she doesnt have bandages but her arms looked rly empty without them#and jeff is ghostface#ofc#man thats a lot of words#miartster#miausocs#murder of crows crp
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i know you said logan is in love with storm, but i think he and wade really can work and love each other, too. and i feel between the two, he'd pick wade due to compatibility.
Look, far be it from me to tell anyone who to ship, especially on this site. Tumblr is gonna Tumblr, and I honestly have no opinion on Wade and Logan as a couple. I go by the comics, not the movies, and there's not really much there romance-wise for me in either medium to give it any thought (Wade has a crush on Logan, but he has a crush on like... everyone). But if you found something you love about them... by all means ship it.
But the one thing I will say... anyone thinking Logan would choose Wade Wilson over Ororo fucking Munroe - for any reason outside of death, torture, help for a murder spree, or a desire for self-punishment - is nuts. I am begging you to pick up a book because you'll understand how utterly ridiculous that statement is.
#binky answers anons#wolverine#deadpool#ororo munroe#wade wilson#i like wade truly#and i enjoy him with logan#but if you think that man would ever pick wade over ororo...#you are fucking high#he would yeet wade into hell for her without a second thought#storm
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back to my roots (drawing them)
#id in alt text#tentative oriel redesign (without any detailed embroidery on this one bc im lazyyyyy)#and a new outfit for crowdelia bc i love her and i love her hair but. fucking hell man.#desaturated bc again i got lazy with the colors hng#my art#original character#oc art#drawing#digital art#fantasy art#artists on tumblr#oc: oriel#oc: crowdelia
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once you start making up fan kids for a ship it’s over i fear
#i say a ship but honestly it’s more for dabi than hawks#her name is yaeko with the kanji for arrow blessing and child (矢恵子)#the first kanji (arrow) in her name is also the second kanji in touya’s (燈矢)#then the blessing kanji is because i think a kid would maybe be a blessing for dabi. maybe not canon dabi but like#dabi if he were 5% less rigid in his ideas and goals#i’ve said this before but i think dabihawks could never work in canon without changing their characters a little bit bc theyre both so stuck#in their ways. like dabi is so hell bent on his revenge against endeavor it takes his entire family and especially shouto doing their best#to reach out to him + him being stuck in a life support tube for him to realise damn maybe i was wrong maybe it couldve been different#and hawks doesn’t even have a moment like that. he kills twice and he feels bad about it sure but he never really thinks of it as wrong. its#just a necessary evil to him. and its proven by his reaction during toga’s sad man parade. he literally shouts ‘kill her’ like he has not#learned shit!!!! he makes the exact same mistake he made with twice without even thinking about it#so i don’t think that their canon selves could be together or that canon dabi would view a kid as a ‘blessing’ which is why when i#think/write about dabihawks they’re just a little more flexible. a little more open to other options. than they are in canon#so to come back to my original point i used the kanji for blessing in yaeko’s name bc i think a baby could be a blessing for my 5% less#rigid version of dabi. or maybe a baby would be the thing that makes him a little less rigid. his shouto and fam talking moment or whatever#ykwim?#i have more to say but im gonna shut up now#bnha#mecore
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Do you regret that?
#Dragon Age#Dragon Age: Inquisition#DAI#Blackwall#Thom Rainier#DA gifs#gif#I'm sorry but that little smooch is cute as hell 😭#honestly imagined my Adaar rougher#but she can be a secret softie as a treat whatever#rolling with it#also (points at the man) wet cat#(imitates his voice poorly) 'oh my lady I appear before you in your private bed chambers in the middle of the night'#'because I cannot resist your charms BUT THIS IS WRONG... AND IT CANNOT BE... unless... no we should not... UNLESS... no we must not'#Adaar (slowly undoing her weird complicated qunari bikini without breaking eye contact): 'uh-huh.'
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I really like the headcanon that if tubbo joins more purgatorys we would surely see the person that was locked away in the federation ice prison.
All I'm saying is it explains why cucurucho just let him get away with things if man's was so fucking unhinged.
Its like a twist on tubbo being a ex federation worker and I think its a little cooler cuz it could explain why cucurucho just let him run around.
Cuz he remembers what tubbo was like before the ice prison and also with his enemy.
I just thought its cool!!!!
#qsmp tubbo#qsmp purgatory#cuz mans is still living in purgatory#and we see him get more crazed without a care#and therrs really no one thats stopping him in all honestly#maybe exept aunny but shes a baby sooooo im not expecting her to pull her dad from the gates of hell#shes a child
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the absolute character assasination of mack and brady in teen beach movie 2 was so fucking crazy
#the retcon that mack n brady met because of wet side story? bullshit !!!!#they met bc mack lives in a Surfboad shop and brady Surfs. thats it. why did they change it for the film being the CRUX of wht they date#THE MOVIE LELA QUEEN OF THE BEACH ALSO LITERALLY DOEANT RLLY MAKE SENSE WITHOUT IT SIDE STORY EXISTING.#cause like. on one hand slay queen go off make ur movie your own but also like. the entire point of the biker/surfer aes only came together#bc of the CONFLICT of the bikers and surfers and if anything lela queen of the beach works better as a hit sequel to wet side story that#blew the fuck up and became a cult classic#ALSO???? brady building surfboards....... but hes no working with macks gpa to buid surfboards?????????? CRAZY WORK.#i KNOWW its bc disney couldnt afford the gpa actor for the sequel but like. what the fuck man. thetes literally 2 characters that make the#boards just fucking.. PUT THEM TOGETHER. ONLY HAVE HIM SAY “yeah mack ive working with your grandpa lately” THATS IT !!!!!!!!!#ypu can keep him cagey abt the surfboard hes making or whatever#AND ANOTHER THING WHY DID THEY DEFACE MACKS FAMILY HEIRLOOMMMMMMMMMM#OH MY GODDDDDDD U HATED THATTTTTTT#brady what did they do to you......massacred him...........#has his fucking.... singing gear (why does he sing now. yes ik aeare its bc disney wanted to market off of ross lynch singing.) in an open#patio with no walls windchimes swanging and tv on bros mic quality must be fucking SHIT#thay also made tanner austistic as hell which i found pretty funny but irritatingwhen he didnt want to go in the water after lela in the#beginning of the film. hes a fucking surfer. why would. why would he be hesitant of going in the WATER.#mack was not as affected in the character assasinating but she felt different than the first movie i think#its bc they really pushed her into the nerd role when like. yeah she could be a nerd but did you have to make the fucking bookworm joke.#cmon man not cool shes just busy :[#the fallin for you reprise with cheechee was fun i wish we had more scenes with the side characters#chiangy.txt
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Analysis- Kamiki's wish & Tsukuyomi's idea on "Fate"
I'm going to freaking kick kamiki's butt but let's note that there were a lot of things that he's done(within that brief moments of screentime that he's been getting) that are worth discussing about. I can say a lot about him while being unable to form a full conclusion about him, he is THE mystery element in this series for me, it's getting ridiculous, I just want solid answers and get it over with(but nope! I also don't want the conclusion that AI shouldn't have loved this guy because that's not just about this guy being insane, it totally undermines the point of the story)
this guy talked a whole lot about wishes when he came to meet the twins, and asked them what they wanted. I feel like "WISH" could be of the keys of understanding of this character's core elements, I think.. he has a wish he wants to fulfill and THAT HAS TO BE REGARDING AI. The song Mephisto was all about wanting for wishes to come true, and that wish was first bringing back their dead loved one back with their life -> warped into "becoming that person". I feel like that's EXACTLY the mindset of what this character went through with this, whole "feeling Ai" "wishing her presence" "carrying the weight of life" "sin" deal going about him. He even congratulated Aqua's wishes on coming true in 153!!! I feel he had himself a wish that he WANTS to fulfill, so that's how he's so keen about one.
Those black-crow looking clothes he wore when he made his appearance in the mountains when Yura dies (it's gonna happen in the anime huh? Yeah best way to leave the season on a cliffhanger btw, YOU KNOW, THE ONE REASON I THINK WHY THE MANGA IS SO CONFUSING RIGHT NOW THAT THEY DON'T WAN'T US TO KNOW WHAT HE'S EXACTLY BEEN DOING BEFORE THIS SHOWS UP THERE. It'd burst all the bubbles if we already know what he's up to, but we STILL don't know anything about him. We don't even know if he's the one who's pushed Yura and we still ACTUALLY don't know what happened on the day Ai was killed in a clear way!!!!) that resembles Tsukuyomis. I was pointed this a while ago from @aihoshiino.. I wonder if that means something, personally, I think this can be related to some things he's said about gods in 147,
if Ai's fate was dying there by a crazy fan in the young age on 20, I'm sure Kamiki would want to change it. What I'm thinking is that he cares about her life more than his own and I believe this could be backed up by what he thinks of Ai in 162 despite the mess of that chapter is, he only felt alive when he had Ai with him. So after her death, it was practically like he had no life at all. That's why he's so eager to give up everything for her. Tsukuyomi is the god that deals with fate and souls. She doesn't seem to look at Kamiki that fondly, so I think what he's getting at here by "god doesn't give us answers(...)if you come up with an answer after worrying about it so much, then you have to accept it, everyone does" is that,
He wants to change Ai's fate of death and even Tsukuyomi would have to accept it, even if she's THE god that deals with it. If there's something that could have warped this originally soft and timid person into the insanity that he is now, I believe it'd be this.
it also explains why he keeps going he's okay with dying and it's not bad several times (he DOESN'T have the will to live in the first place after he's lost Ai) but also goes Not yet/he has something to do BEFORE that happens.
If what he is going about is about "amplifying" Ai's presence, I feel like if it's sufficiently fulfilled, she could have actually been brought back in a sense. In that case, he HAS been doing something for Ai in a pretty.. practical manner despite it's what Ai wouldn't have wanted. This presence thing is basically actually him saying he wants her back alive and living. He wanted her to go on living. It's just phrased in a really confusing way so that we don't get to sympathize with this guy and misdirect our ways of thinking that he's totally insane(HE IS for sure, but at the same time, what he wants is what every person who's lost a love may wish for-not the method, but the way of thinking-the author doesn't want us to figure this out yet for some reason because they're hiding something about him continuously, I feel like there's going to be some sort of impactful blow that'd be coming related to this aspect)
I don't think Tsukuyomi supports this idea nor is too fond of him, I think she wanted Aqua to take him down because Kamiki would meddle with her ways, thus was keen about the "revenge" aspects of his mission. But Aqua later derives himself to a conclusion that his life wasn't about revenge the way Tsukuyomi wanted it to be, he came up with his own reasoning for doing what he's done. Keeping Ruby safe.
She had her eyes on Kamiki and watches his demise(I hope this isn't his end though because it's not a direction I'd be so fond with), maybe feeling a bit melanchoilc and a feeling of half-satisfaction that she got what she's wanted, although it wouldn't have been so happy for her either seeing a soul break that bad
BUT WHAT MADE HIM BREAK THIS BAD? Was this always in him in the first place? Is he a guy that could have always killed people? So did Ai choose the wrong man who'd become a serial killer for "her sake" out of desperation when it'd be nothing what she truly wants? Kamiki's feelings towards Ai is strong. It was always strong from their younger years and it's been the core of his character, no matter what I make of this guy, that would not change.
The important part for me now is just what pushed him to have this sort of belief and pushed him, shattering his personality even, (HE WENT THROUGH WITH THIS FOR AT LEAST 15 YEARS. If he was tended to and "saved" earlier, there is no way he would have broke this bad;;;) if there is one. THE SONGS IMPLY THERE IS SOMETHING. and he says these weird stuff about making offerings in 147(it's not in the English translations but I swear I see it in the versions I see, it happens when he talks with nino after having met akane) so there could be some other god that's convinced him that if he does what he asks of him, Ai could be brought back. That probably destroyed his soul, and seeing him like that, Tsukuyomi didn't want the same thing happening to Aqua so she told Aqua in advance that AI CANNOT be reincarnated back to life.(118)
What Tsukuyomi says in 118 is the COMPLETE OPPOSITE OF WHAT KAMIKI DESIRED. He wanted to believe Ai could still exist and feel her presence. I feel like what Kamiki wanted, and thought in that case, was :
"Ai is still somewhere." "I may be able to find her if I try hard enough." "She can be born again and she may be able to live happily somewhere." "Her story didn't end." "Death isn't death. There's still a chance." "Ai can still think, she can think about me and everything else."
"Ai can smile again."
Just flip everything Tsukuyomi says in 118 and I feel that's what Kamiki would have wanted to believe in and felt about Ai. That's what he intended to fulfill and could never give up on, that's why he couldn't die yet. He wanted to save her the way she did for him, he wanted her life back to her. It just didn't work. He thought about doing that till the very end (could have been twisted into him being able to feel her in the middle though)
why do I feel like Tsukuyomi either told Kamiki the same thing or she couldn't but wanted to, but he was already way past the line?
If there is something that's used him, and this sort of desperation he has, it led him to take these extreme measures he's been taking and it reaped him of his nobility.
That's extremely tragic and in that case, I can see how this character, out of all, is getting two songs with one being him becoming gradually warped into what he is now(Mephisto) and his current state of insanity(Fatal)
and why Ai wants to save him. He's terribly broken. I guess that whole part of Ruby just shows us how far he's gone, but like I say over and over, I don't think he would have been this person!!! He could have been a tender father who smiled and raised Ai and his children together, so I want to know WHAT HAPPENED.
#hikaru kamiki#oshi no ko#oshi no theories#oshi no ko spoilers#hikaai#if he had Ai alive in the world(it didn't even have to be her being WITH HIM!!!!) he wouldn't have become like this#so the writers need to come back on him and deliver us the explanation we need about this character!!! it's driving me nuts#because I see this so obviously!!!!#it's cruel and.. a writing full of holes just screaming to be filled#spoilers#ai hoshino#save your man Ai if he could be or you know.. like my comic...deliver him to hell with your hands#he really misses you. he just..could not bear living without you and you aren't obligated to reciprocate that feeling he has#but I feel you loved him dearly as well. you didn't choose the wrong guy. I hope so.. anyhow he does think you're the most precious thing
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why are you, as an adult in 2024, still hung up on reylo. why are you still mocking the shippers. why do you believe yourself to be superior only because you dislike a stupid ship from a fucking space fairytale. girl (gnc) get a grip
#it's ridiculous. this ship is... stupidly cliché. like if you know fandoms at all#you could easily guess why people would be into it. hello?? have you tried to watch tfa without your hate-on-kyle-ron goggles?#did you watch their scenes together? you don't have to like something to recognize the hints#hell. at the time i didn't really like jonerys but i realized they were going to be a thing when i read agot in 2011#like folks. it's been nearly TEN LONG YEARS. let it go. LET IT FUCKING GOOOO#and for the lucy/cooper shippers out there who think reylos are (again) delusional when they compare the two ships:#no. *you* are being delusional only because you think reylo is unsexy and uncool (which is your right to think btw. obv)#if you can't see why someone would like both of these pairings for similar reasons... idk what to say honestly#people compared it to hannigram... honestly. again i see why they would appeal to anyone who's into both ships#i really do. but... unpopular opinion (since i'm more of a clannibal fan than i could ever be of reylo):#they are more similar to reylo than will/hannibal. there i said it#i'm not talking about the writing (admittedly the quality of it was questionable). i'm talking about tropes#never mind that imo the ghoul is more akin to vader than kylo but whatever#hannibal is an unapologetic kind of villain. he's not gonna have a redemption arc and that's okay#cooper is an antivillain who used to be a good man and became a disfigured cruel bastard. a parody of himself#lucy is him. him before the bombs dropped before he discovered the person he trusted the most wanted to commit genocide#nice. moral. polite. infused with the Good Old American Values™. he's basically her dark side#all of this is very hannigram/clannibal. i'm not denying it at all#but what'll likely happen is that lucy's actions will have a positive influence on the ghoul and remind him of what it means to be a man#and that's way more reylo-like. sorry.#beauty&thebeast/villain with some hidden good in him+morally righteous heroine/enemies to lovers etc.#i mean. hello??..... having said that. i'm not so much of a reylo shipper anymore and tbh never was. i really liked it at the time#but i was never fond of the st era. my fav characters are vader and leia and revan from the old eu. just saying#*and* it's also not impossible lucy gets darker with the ghoul as her traveling companion. in fact i wouldn't dislike it at all#if done well i mean#but i would still like for people to be intellectually honest and less puerile. god knows i have my notps#but i really don't give a fuck about the shippers. good for them i guess? i have better taste lmao but that's heavily subjective#val rambles in the tags#val speaks#txt
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I'm a defender of weird and shitty superhero movies that can make me laugh and a hater of boring superhero movies that don't.
#this is originally about venom#because sony is getting widely criticized for their live action spider man rogue gallery films#as they should be#but the venom movies actually slap and shouldn't be associated with whatever else is going on#however my wildest take is i like suicide squad#yes it's bad and cringe#it does appear to have been made as straight up hot topic bait#but I'm unironically into it#i think it's funny and the suckass aspects work for the theme and tone of the movie#like the whole point is these people SUCK and are lame and annoying and evil#so why shouldn't the movie be fucking eyeroll worthy#and then hit you with margot robbie's unexpected sincerity#the follow up was a better film but i don't think it would have existed as it was without the first one#i do think it had too many characters/ they were grossly underused#like katana especially#y'all got karen fukuhara to play a fucking badass ninja#and WASTED HER TIME#that itself is in fact a crime#but like idk man#the schlock was schlocking#quick fire round: all pre mcu spider man films are at bare minimum very fun#most of them go hard#batman v superman was fun and exciting the first time#it aged poorly and became a harbinger for a painfully medicore cinematic universe#wonder woman 1 was great and 1984 is genuinely THE worst film i think I've ever seen#which will puzzle me forever#i haven't watched most pre mcu marvel movies but I'm interested in a couple#oh and i fell asleep trying to watch 2015#so I'm gonna assume it's boring as hell#watch moon knight
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So, my family is rewatching Rings of Power, and since I’m the one in the family that read The Silmarillion (like a masochist), I’m the one who keeps getting asked all the questions.
#‘did this happen?’ well broadly speaking yes but Tolkien never fleshed this part of middle-earth’s history out in much detail#but I know exactly where they got the idea for whatever it is most of the time#‘is Galadriel’s husband really dead’ of course not#‘did Sauron ever go by the name Halbrand?’ well not really but also how much time do you have because this is going to take some explaining#‘is that Gandalf?’ almost definitely but they’re doing the blue wizard thing with him by taking him to Rhun#also I think they’re making him the basis for the hobbit’s ’man in the moon’ song so I’m honestly okay with it#‘is the Queen lady’s nightmare significant’ Yes three times over but how am I supposed to say anything about it#without giving away what’s probably a season finale#‘what’s with the mithril?’ Hell if I know I’m as confused as you are about that#actually the Galadriel’s husband one was funny#because of course Celeborn shows up in the movies#but my mom wasn’t sure that was actually her husband#or some random blorbo#or a second husband#which then opened up the whole conversation#to how the elves are painfully monogamous even when their spouse dies#because they way they die is weird and also#they all still have generational and firsthand trauma from the fallout of that one elf guy who did get remarried#rings of power spoilers
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the downside to being a sitcom neighbour sort of person is that when rough things happen and emotionally fuck u up a lil bit, it also sounds completely made up
#bert's dead dad tag#found out today the way my dad told mom he wanted a divorce?#he wrote her a letter and left it on the dining room table for her to find on the morning of her fortieth birthday#who the fuck does that dead father#like that is the sort of thing i would entirely make up if i needed everyone at the table to fuckin hate an npc#and at least one person would go 'you're laying it on a little bit heavy'#i know he did work to become a better person as he got older#which is good because BOY howdy was that man a piece of shit in the early 90s#and we are having Complicated feelings about it tonight and also for the last nine months#something something when i was writing his eulogy i came across an old article discussing something he did in the 90s#YDIP (your dad is problematic)#like yeah this is the sort of thing that would have been vaguely acceptable in the cultural context#but like. still objectively bad. potentially ruining several lives sort of bad.#learned this and then wrote the rest of his eulogy about how he was a great guy and how i'm lucky to have been his son#(which was rough enough on its own because i've never said 'i'm [dad's name]'s son' as many times as i did that trip home)#but like what else do you do? i sent off a message looking for more information#and that information if it comes is just gonna sit with me i guess#sure as hell not telling my sister and this whole thing i've been getting through without really having anyone here for me to talk to#(hence the big fuckoff tag rant. your problem now losers who like clicking the read more button)#so even if i get all the answers i want about this one thing it's not gonna do any good except putting an end to one question#but part of having a dead dad who's been out of the business of forming new memories since you came out is having more questions#answering this one's just gonna add even more questions to the pile#but. got fuckall else to do
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really hope it becomes much more clear in the future of fool's gold that the foreclaimers aren't bad because they don't have empathy, but rather because they based their society on people having a set "value" and killing people who aren't "Valuable enough". Plus they also tortured a god for 300+ years
#Seeing way too many YT comments act like the forclaimers are bad because they don't have empathy#Empathy is an inherently neutral thing and the show only furthers that#Gothi a person who's biggest flaw is having too much empathy is a morally neutral person#Like she tries to do good things but she's still complicit in all the shit her friends do#Hell her closest and oldest friend tried to commit a genocide TWICE#he didn't even beat around the bush with it he fully knew it was a genocide he wanted#I may be Xanu's defense attorney but he was a terrible person#he fully manipulated Sips#He was kind of an ass to Gothi his closest (and arguably only) friend#He kinda controls Jack into only wanting to open the portal#he was awful#and Xanu has always had empathy and he still did this#I love him for the character development and the cool backstory not the actions#Sips has empathy Erina has empathy#the list goes on#media literacy may truly be dead if people don't get that#Masika doesn't have empathy but that's not what makes her complicated#She's still learning to recover from a society that taught her she was worthless#like... it's such a good series man#fools gold dnd#fools gold#foreclaimers#gothi fools gold#xanu fools gold#sips fools gold#erina fools gold#wouldn't be a post written at midnight without a wall of tags
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