#the memories of what it was like together feel so close but can��t be touched

[ervotica]

Inspired by the moment in ACOSF when it’s mentioned Cassian likes physical contact. A fic where reader and cassian are besties and hanging all touchy, maybe reader is braiding his hair and the mating bond snaps.

Kindly requested to be tagged if written/published.

𝐬𝐩𝐢𝐭𝐞𝐟𝐮𝐥, 𝐰𝐢𝐜𝐤𝐞𝐝 𝐦𝐚𝐭𝐞

pairing; cassian x fem!reader

warnings; porn with plot, basically just smut tbh but smut with FEELS (the best kind), p in v, oral (f!receiving), cassian is a sexy bitch

word count; 2.4k

a/n; dooo we want a p2 (and to find out what reader has planned...) i'm planning one in my head so if you guys are interested please let me know! @bxm-1012 enjoy!

Cassian shows love through touch- whether that be an affectionate squeeze, a kiss on the forehead or a playful shove; it's how he expresses love for the people around him.

You often take the brunt of this, being his best friend. You walk the streets of Velaris arm in arm, squeeze into one armchair that really isn't built to hold even Cassian alone, but somehow manages to fit the both of you, fall asleep on top of each other in a heap of skewed limbs after hours of partying and drinking and dancing at Rita's. You fit together like two pieces of a puzzle.

You're really not sure how you didn't see it earlier.

You're lounging in the aforementioned armchair when the bond snaps. Your legs are thrown over the arm and Cassian is settled in the centre, head to your chest as you scratch and tug at his shoulder-length hair, pulling it up into a braid. He tilts his head up, grinning at you through the dark lashes framing his eyes, and the whole world shifts on its axis.

Something stirs to life inside of you, a warmth blooming and spreading and seeping into your every pore; you can feel the way you're tethered to him, the gravitational pull between you.

You go stock still and your lips part in a silent gasp. Cassian's grin grows tenfold.

"You knew?"

"I suspected," he murmurs. He twists his body to face you. "I hoped."

"Oh," you breathe. You can't help it when your hand comes up to trace his cheekbones, the tip of your thumb skimming the bridge of his nose. His eyes fall closed and the bastard tugs on the bond so hard it emits a squeal from you, and you're pressing a palm to the centre of your chest to soothe the entirely unfamiliar feeling.

His mouth opens to break the silence but you're already moving, careening into his chest and burrowing yourself in tight. Your body sags with pure, uninhibited relief.

"You feel the same, then?" he teases.

Your eyes are glassy when you peel your face far enough to meet his stare.

"I always thought I'd have to make peace with it when you found your mate. I'd have to settle for loving you from a distance and that would be enough. As long as you're happy, I'm happy." He softens at the admission- your voice rasping and raw as you lay your feelings bare for him- hooking an arm beneath your own to drag you up his chest until you're nose to nose. "But I guess I can be selfish now, and keep you to myself," you whisper.

"Mm," he purrs, and the sound turns your core molten. "I like the sound of that."

He doesn't waste any more time before his mouth is on yours, lips slanting hungrily over your own; you part your lips in submission, granting him access to lick into your mouth, his tongue tangling with your own. He rises to tower over you until you're flattened against the curve of the chair, and plants his hands either side of your head to cage you in. His wings flare where they'd been previously tucked against his back. Your body goes involuntarily soft and pliable, heat prickling under your skin at his every touch. Instinct takes over- it's as if it's muscle memory. Giving yourself to him is as easy as breathing.

Your head swims at the feel of his body under your roaming hands, his scent that seems to shift from affection to something deeply primal and dominating. You urge him closer with a whine and a pathetic tug at his t-shirt. How has this man reduced you to a mess with no more than a kiss?

"Cass-" you gasp when his head turns and his mouth latches onto the sensitive spot beneath your ear; teeth sink into flesh and you have to bite your lip to conceal a wanton moan. "We-we should go somewhere... more private."

"Oh, don't stop on our account," comes Rhysand's amused drawl through the closed door. "We're vacating the premises as we speak."

A growl rips through Cassian and searing, unyielding need barrels to your core and pools there; it takes every ounce of willpower to not rut your hips against him and demand his clothes off that very instant.

"Sorry!" you squeak; as quickly as the word leaves your mouth, Cassian's smothering it with another eager kiss. You lose any semblance of control you were clinging to, a moan dragging its way from your chest and into his waiting mouth. A string of saliva stretches and bows between you when he lifts his head to look at your face.

"My mate," he purrs. "My beautiful mate."

Your eyes cloud when you gaze at him through half-lids, reaching down to grab the thick length of him and squeeze. His hips grind into your palm, something deep and almost terrifying loosing from the depths of his chest. It only serves to make your cunt drool.

"Wicked thing," he gasps. "Spiteful female."

You grin, wide and unabashed, before your hands grapple for purchase to tear at his clothes until his toned abdomen is revealed to you; you want to lick every inch of him.

"Desperate little creature, aren’t you?" he teases.

"Shut up!"

His eyes roll when you at last wrench his pants and underwear down his thick thighs, freeing his cock, hard and weeping and begging for your touch.

"Who’s desperate now?" Your brow quirks.

He echoes your sentiments, cadence deep and gravelly with lust. "Shut up."

Your snarking comments seem to loosen the tether he’s kept on his desire to hold you down and have his way with you, and you gasp when thick, calloused fingers curl their way around your windpipe; his fingertips are bruising against your jaw, tipping your head back to bare your soft throat for him. You go boneless in his grasp, eager to take whatever he gives you at whatever pace.

"So you do know how to behave," he muses, free hand coming between your bodies to paw at your clothes until they come away in ribbons, torn from your form and leaving you bare before him.

The first inch of him inside of you is a delicious stretch; your cunt parts and flares to make room for him. He pauses, and when he finds nothing but pure, unadulterated lust in your blown out pupils, he gives you the rest.

Slowly, agonisingly, he drags it out; moaning praises fill your ears as he grants you inch after inch of him until he's seated firmly to the hilt. His fingers are bound to leave bruises where they're curled around your waist.

You whine, fingernails digging cruelly into his sides. He’s so deep you’re sure you can feel him in your throat.

"Cassian."

"Fuck, sweet girl," he hisses. "Usually I’d take my time with you, work you up first until you’re crying. But I need you right now."

The breath is punched from your lungs as he sets a punishing pace; your spine curves and moulds to the arm of the chair when Cassian’s hands venture lower to cup the swells of your breasts. You feel his cock kick up inside of you when he catches sight of your pert nipples, hardening into buds at the exposure of the cool air and the feel of his hands brushing the sensitive beads.

"I’ll get my mouth on you later, baby."

You’d melt at the words if you weren’t already reduced to nothing more than mush from his dick alone. The thick girth of him splits you wide, nestling deep against spots you have yet to discover, pushing you further towards a precipice you’re almost terrified of— you’ve never experienced pleasure like this, to this degree. The insurmountable, unfathomable pressure builds until you’re coming with a scream, your body trembling around his own, cunt clamping down around him to suck him in further.

"There’s my girl," he coos, slowing inside of you to brush away the hair sticking to your slick face. "You’re perfect.”

You whine and cant your hips downward to rock yourself onto his cock, and the bellow that rips through him would have you flushing white-hot under any other circumstances; you’re too far gone to care, a shaking hand splaying against the ridges of his wing until he shudders under your touch. You moan at the sight.

"Now that’s just mean, baby."

You suck your bottom lip into your mouth, gaze flitting up to meet his own with a coy smile. He brushes a slow line with his knuckles against your cheekbone— a loving gesture that has your heart clenching as well as your pussy.

"I love you," he says. "I love you so much."

"I love you," you repeat his words as he smears a kiss between your pinched brows. His forehead presses to yours as his hips rut up into your own. Dewiness clings to every inch of your skin and your knuckles bleed of colour where you cling to Cassian.

He brings you to completion four more times before he reaches his own peak, and only when you're reduced to tears beneath him does he crawl the length of your body, lips grazing over the slick skin beneath him until he reaches your cunt once more.

"Cass-" you gasp; your voice comes out a broken, strangled jumble of noise and he grins wolfishly up at you before licking a broad, long stripe from your spasming hole to your clit. Your back arches and you're not sure whether it's towards or away from his touch, but he stops you short when his fingers curl around your ribcage to press you to the plush fabric of the armchair.

"Told you I'd get my mouth on you, didn't I?"

Everything is simultaneously too much and not enough, and you're torn between grinding down into his mouth and shying away. Pleasure licks white-hot up your spine and you writhe against his bruising hold on your hips when the stubble on his chin scratches against your sensitive bundle of nerves. It's red and angry, swollen from Cassian's undivided attention, and it has tears gathering at your waterline once more. Your eyes are glassy and half lidded and he reaches up to brush the tip of his thumb against your cheek, his head never coming up from between your thighs.

Your skin sheens under the soft lights of the living room, sweat beading across the crown of your skull and your temples; you whine and thrash beneath him until your muscles seize and go taut like a bowstring, and pleasure drags you under once again. You're screaming - comes the dazed realisation - and your chest heaves as Cassian works you through it, offering up sweet praises for your orgasm. He smiles as if he hasn't just given you the best sex of your life.

You're utterly limp, boneless in his firm hold when he lifts your body to cradle you to his naked chest. The bridge of his nose presses into the softness of your cheek, skin rubbing against skin where he nuzzles into you.

"That was fucking amazing," you breathe with a laugh. "We should do that again."

"Mm," he hums. "Don't tempt me."

You giggle, pressing your face closer to his; everything about him intoxicates you: his smell, the feel of him under your hands, the dominating rasp of his cadence.

"We have something else to do first."

"What?" he asks, visibly deflating when you push yourself up on wobbling legs; your knees almost give out instantly. You can feel his smirk forming, burning into your naked form.

"Don't. Say. Anything," you grit. Your fingers brush the carpet when you bend to grasp a slip of fabric, and you quirk a brow at your sheepish mate. "My clothes, Cass!"

"I'll get you some more. Anything you want," he immediately says, watching you through half-lidded eyes. The love swirling in his irises almost has you staggering.

"While I appreciate that..." You lean down to press your lips against his, only pulling back to rest your brow against his own. "That doesn't solve my problem right now."

He snorts. "I like you naked. Maybe you should never wear clothes again."

"I'm not sure anyone would approve of that but you." Your smile is devilish. "Maybe I could distract a few High Lords at the next meeting..."

His teeth bare, a low warning growl reverberating through your very bones. You laugh, light and airy, and Cassian's sure you're heaven sent even as you send red-hot fury roiling through his veins.

"I'm sorry," you trill. "That was mean." You snag his own t-shirt, still predominantly in one piece, and slip it over your head; it lays against your mid-thighs and the scent of him cloys in your nostrils. "C'mon." You beckon him up with an outstretched hand, wiggling your fingers until he stands and slips his fingers between your own. A smirk pulls at the corners of your mouth. "Um, darling?" A pointed gaze has him grinning in return, clasping his chest in faux disappointment.

"I thought you liked me naked!"

"Oh, I do," you muse. "I'd just like to not scar everybody else in this house for life."

"It'd hardly be an unpleasant sight-"

"Yes, but I'm sure everyone would prefer it if I didn't try to kill them for looking." Your smile oozes saccharine, and then you're nudging him towards where his underwear lays discarded on the carpet. He pulls the material up and over his thick thighs and then he's back by your side in an instant; you preen under his adoring touch, pushing into the hands that slip underneath your shirt to grope at your bare skin.

"C'mon," you repeat, begrudgingly denying yourself the pleasure of sinking into his arms for another round of slow sex. "We need to do this first." You press your lips to the corner of his mouth. "Mate."

[jihyoruri]

❚ ❚ ❚ ❚ ❚ ❚ ❚ ❚ 𓍢 CAUGHT IN BETWEEN kim chaewon & huh yunjin

prev. masterlist . next

🧋★ ͘ ⴰ JEALOUSY & LEADER DUTIES

“you’ve got to be kidding me.” is the first thing that yunjin said when the leader of lesserafim walked into the car sitting right between her and yn with a smile on her face.

“what was that?” chaewon asked while she leaned against yn’s shoulder who was rubbing her eyes with a pink blanket wrapped around her from being woken up about 15 minutes ago.

“oh nothing.” yunjin says before taking a peek at yn who proceeds to put headphones on and turn up the volume of the music on her phone to the point that you can hear it through the headphones before closing her eyes and resting her head on chaewon’s shoulder.

yunjin clears her throat before looking at chaewon, “what are you doing here?” she asks as the car starts.

chaewon smiles, “what do you mean?” she asks innocently, “I’m supposed to be here, I’m the leader it’s my duty to accompany you guys to these things for support.”

yunjin narrows her eyes at chaewon’s obvious bullshit before turning her head and looking at the window, watching the rain fall, this is going to be a long morning.

chaewon eyes widened when she saw yn in the white dress, a smile made its way to her face only to be wiped off immediately when she sees the taller girl walking behind yn in a white dress as well.

she walks over to the two girls with a faux smile on her face, “you look so pretty!” she exclaimed gesturing towards the dresses. “you look like a princess.”

“I look like a ready to be wife.” chaewon's smile faltered, feeling a pang of jealousy that yunjin was the person that got to do something like this with yn.

it should be my wife.

“well, we should get to set.” yunjin says budding in on their moment, she smiles when chaewon gives her a sharp glare.

“oh yeah, let’s go.” yn says, she links her arm with chaewon’s as the girls walk together their manager’s following not too far behind, “I wish you were doing this with us, I love doing photoshoots with you, it reminds be of iz*one.”

chaewon smiles at yn’s words before looking behind to through yunjin a smile who just rolls her eyes and turns to their manager to start a conversation.

“remember when they paired us for everything? I miss that.” yn says smiling sadly at the memories, “now all they do is pair me with yunjin who’s my ready to be wife.” she jokes referring to their outfits.

it’s now chaewon’s turn to roll her eyes she looks behind to see yunjin smiling, ugh.

“honestly I wish the dress was pink, imagine a pink wedding dress?” yn rambles who chaewon who just looks at her with heart eyes as she rants.

“you should wear that to your wedding in the future.” she replies hopefully ours she thinks to herself.

“I’ve honestly never thought about a wedding.” yn says softly, “but the again when do I ever? the farthest I’ve thought is when I get my oscar.”

as they arrived at the set, yn and yunjin were greeted by the bustling activity of the photoshoot. makeup artists and stylists hurried around, putting the finishing touches on the set and the girls' outfits.

chaewon stood off to the side, her gaze shifting between yn and yunjin as they prepared for the photoshoot. she listened absently to the manager discussing their schedules for the next week, her mind preoccupied with thoughts of yn and yunjin.

both yunjin and yn are instructed to lay in the set of the flowers that compliment the dresses, yunjin makes a joke as they lay down which makes everyone laugh well everyone except for chaewon.

“it wasn’t that funny.” she says loud and clear causing everyone to laugh even more, the funny part is that she’s being dead serious.

as fast as the shoot started it ended even faster.

chaewon walked over to yn and yunjin patting both of their shoulders, she patted yunjin’s with more force causing the girl to flinch and rub her now sore shoulder.

“let’s go.” the leader says linking her arms with yn and walking towards the van

chaewon drags yn with her as they make their way into the van, chaewon grabs a blanket that was on the seat and places it over yn’s and her’s legs.

yunjin entered the van not to long after them, “fans are going to go crazy over this shoot.” she starts, pausing to look at yn and chaewon covered in the blanket, before flashing chaewon a smug smile.

“fans go crazy over anything.” chaewon says brushing off yunjin’s comment while looking at yn phone who scrolls through youtube before putting on her headphones probably intentionally tuning out everything around her.

yunjin called yn’s name and didn’t get a response, all she could hear was the blasting video coming from the girls phone, she internally smiled and immediately shot chaewon an accusing look, “okay you can throw away the innocent stuff, why did you come?”

chaewon side eyed yunjin and looked out the window, “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“are you serious?” yunjin says, “when have you ever attended a photoshoot for leader duties, this was just another one of your ways to get between yn and I.”

yunjin’s last sentence almost had chaewon jumping over yn to tussle with the girl, “there’s nothing between you and yn to get in between.”

yunjin opens her mouth to respond but is cut short by chaewon’s rage, “are really stupid enough to think that you and yn have something? I’m embarrassed for you.”

yunjin tenses at the girls tone but doesn’t back down, “well we have to have something for a creative director to request for a shoot for wedding style dresses.” she responds back quickly only to flinch at chaewon’s laugh.

“do you really wanna play this game right now?” chaewon asks seriously, yunjin furrows her eyebrows because this is the most serious she’s seen the leader, “you may like yn, but your like for her will never amount to mine, you’ve had your fun but it’s time to back off.”

there’s silence for a second the only thing filling the van is the music from the radio and the sounds from the headphones, yunjin swallows thickly, “I will not back off, I’m not like all the other people you’ve scared away.”

this another few seconds of silence.

“okay.”

there was a chilling vibe to the leader’s words. yunjin should feel relieved at chaewon’s calm response to her own , so why does she feel nervous?

[gaypirate420]

Haircut //Jasper W. Hale.

Jasper Whitlock-Hale x gn! reader.

Summary: Jasper did a thing while he was in a mood.

Angst/Fluff. Jasper icon by @jasperhaleobsessed

The vampire steps out of the shower, wrapping a towel around his waist. The water dripping down his yellow hair, his pale hand wipes the steam off the mirror above the sink.

Golden eyes stare at his reflection.

Paper white skin decorated with deep scars. His muscles tensed up. He leans over, his hands holding hard on the sink, cracking it slightly.

It hasn't been a great week.

No, it hasn't been a great month. Year. Decade(s).

Since Victoria and her wannabe army of newborn vampires showed up he's been spiraling each day.

Slowly, the glass have been a drops away from spilling.

The memories just flooded his mind everytime he closed his eyes.

They're always there, but they're more vivid this time, he doesn't like this, Jasper knows this cycle too well, he doesn't want to be part of it again.

He thought he was getting better.

Jasper's been pushing you away and he's an idiot for that because he needs you, he needs you so so so bad but Jasper just can't tell you he's struggling. And he doesn't know why that is. Maybe he feels ashamed for being so weak, so broken.

There's a reason why you and him have been together for almost fifty years. You just bring the best of him and make the pain go away. Always.

A smile creeps on his face but it goes away quickly, he sighs and looks at the mirror one more time.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Jasper? Sunshine, you in here?" You asked while stepping inside the Cullen's house. The ironey flavor of blood still in your mouth after a successful hunt.

"...yeah." He mumbled from upstairs there was a slight shake on his voice. No waiting for you at the door? No bouquet of flowers? No forehead kiss? No 'Darlin' I missed ya.'?

Something happened. Something bad.

You approached your shared bedroom opening the door slowly.

Your eyes try to process what their seeing.

Jasper was sitting at the edge of the bed, eyes unfocused starring at the locks of hair on the floor. His pale fingers holding a pair of scissors, shaking.

And of course his hair. Short. Cut at random lengths after a fit of raw emotion. Anger. Sadness. Desperation. That's what his aura is filled with.

"Sweetheart..." You called softly and closed the door behind you. The vampire doesn't react to your presence at all, he just looks straight ahead, deep in thought.

Jasper catches on the steps getting closer to him and a gentle hand tilt his chin up gently to make his eyes meet yours. His almost numb expression makes you want to cry. The golden color of his eyes holds no shine, they're dull and empty.

"Hey, sunshine." You whisper softly and cup his face, leaning on your touch and a small gasp leaving his lips, if he was human he'll be all tears right now.

"Oh—it's okay, sweetheart." You whisper reassuringly. The blonde wraps his arms around your waist and holds you close, burying his face on your chest, taking a deep breath and drowning on your comforting scent.

You stroke his now short hair.

"...sorry" He whimpers against your chest trying to find some peace with your touch.

"Why are you apologizing, cowboy?" You whisper softly and caress his face, he can't look at you right now, he feel so ashamed because you're seeing him like this.

"... because— I'm a mess." His voice breaks and he holds closer to you. You just stroke his hair and kiss his forehead.

"...and my hair is ugly now." He added, a bitter chuckle follows. You take the scissors from his shaking hands and brush his hair down.

"May I fix it?" You asked before cutting anything.

"Can you?" He asks hopeless as he closes his eyes, he feels defeated, tired, he just wants to sleep but he can't sleep because of his nature.

"Well... either way I think you'll look handsome bald." You try to lighten the mood and it surprisingly works because his frown turns into a smirk. He nods and allows you to fix his hair.

You lean down to kiss his lips, a tender, slow and gentle kiss. He holds the kiss for longer, the feeling of your lips against his are a great distraction from the memories that are haunting him.

Jasper closes his eyes as you work on his hair. He doesn't know if the silence is dreadful or comfortable.

"Do you want to talk about what happened? I'm very worried about you, don't think I don't notice how distant you've been." You whisper with a serious expression.

He shakes his head slowly, the idea of discussing his feelings and pain being something he is not ready to do just yet. Your touches help in distract him.

"...maybe later, darlin', I'm sorry." Jasper whispers as he keep my eyes closed, focusing on the sensation of your fingers through his hair to avoid a relapse of his previous train of thought. He takes a couple of deep breaths as the gentle movement of your fingers helps him calm down and have a clearer mindset.

"Done." You said softly and clean his sweater from the fallen hair. You take on his image, his new look.

"You look real pretty, Jazz." You smiled, Jasper returned the smile in a much weaker way. He doesn't check himself in the mirror, he trusts you and knows you did a much better work than he did.

"....thank you, sugar." He whispers, feeling a little tired from all this. He holds your hand and kisses your palm.

"Cuddles?" You whisper back, he nods and picks you up to throw you in the bed with him.

He nuzzles his face on your neck, holding you so close to him. He takes a deep deep breath and closes his eyes.

".... you're- stuck with me forever...I'm sorry. You deserve someone better. I'm so sorry, sweetheart." He whispers against your skin.

"I'm happy to have you forever. I don't want anybody else." You whisper back and kiss the top of his head. He smiles weakly and hols you close, nuzzling to you like a needy kitten.

"...and I'm happy I got you too. I don't know who I'll be without you." Jasper closes his eyes and leaves gentle kisses on your neck.

"I love you so much." You whisper.

"I love you more." He answer with a gentle whisper.

"hmmm, I don't think so. I love you more than that." You speak teasingly, he chuckles softly and hugs you tightly.

"I love ya a hundred times that." He answers with a weak voice, like he's very sleepy.

"Well, I love you a thousand times that." You speak with a following giggle, Jasper chuckles and kisses your lips once more.

He's going to be okay. Here in your arms.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A/N: heyyyy, here's an angsty fic because an idea came to my mind thinking about why did Jasper has such a radical haircut in between movies. And I was like "that's how you cut your hair after a breakdown." Y'know? So here's this, hope you like it, requests are open!

[solarmorrigan]

So this started out as some scribbly thoughts on FTM Steve and devolved a little bit into smutty Steddie rambling. As happens. So anyway, explicit text below the cut, click through at your own discretion, et cetera

Warnings(?) for some clumsy language and hints of period-typical transphobia; some discussion of Steve and Nancy together, but only for Steddie purposes. This is mostly just silly

-

“So, wait, you slept with how many girls in high school, and still managed to keep this a secret?” Eddie asks, brows climbing his forehead.

“Not as many as rumor would’ve had you think.” Steve shrugs. “Like maybe four? The rest, I just… didn’t discourage when they exaggerated. Helped my image.”

Eddie can’t help but snort. He’s glad Steve outgrew that image. “Still, four is a lot to keep a lid on. All of them agreed not to tell and then just – didn’t?”

“Actually, most of them never found out. It was only–” Steve pauses, eyeing Eddie cautiously, as if talking about his past female sexual conquests with his current boyfriend is fine, but what he’s going to say next will be a bridge too far. “It was only Nancy who ever knew.”

Ah.

Ah, yes. Nancy. Nancy Wheeler. Steve’s one true love.

Until now, Eddie fiercely reminds himself. He eyes the t-shirt that is very much his that Steve is very much wearing and slides over the jealousy to address his more pressing question.

“Okay, how did you have sex with at least three other people without them finding out you don’t have a–” Eddie stops short, fumbles for a moment, “a, uh, conventional dick?”

Steve snickers. “Nice save. And, uh – I never actually took off my pants. My talents are in other areas, and I always provided enough of a distraction that they didn’t seem to notice when I just… took care of myself.” He wiggles his eyebrows at Eddie, who can’t help but give him the laugh he’s looking for. “It didn’t say flattering things about my stamina, but multiple orgasms are a pretty good bribe. I got good reviews.”

“Huh.” Somehow, Eddie can’t help but feel impressed; he doesn’t quite understand why Steve had felt the need to do it at all—still doesn’t really understand Steve’s drive for popularity when he’d been in high school—but he can admit the skill in the subterfuge. “But you told Wheeler?”

He’s not sure why he’s asking. A part of him, he thinks, wants to make sure Steve had been able to tell her on his own terms, rather than having his hand forced.

Steve shifts, shrugs. He doesn’t look sad, but he’s maybe a little melancholy.

“Nance wasn’t… temporary, for me. She wasn’t a fling, and I didn’t want to hide from her. And it’s the same with you.” Steve’s gaze falls heavy on Eddie. “You are the… third? person I’ve ever told. I want you to know just– all of me.”

Eddie reaches out, grabbing for Steve’s hand; he’s pretty sure he’d be physically incapable of stopping himself from somehow touching Steve after an admission like that.

A thought is beginning to form, however, leading back to what had started this conversation in the first place. Eddie would bet anything that if Wheeler was the first person Steve told, then Buckley was the second.

And that meant only one person Steve had slept with had ever known all of him – but just how much of all of him had Wheeler been interested in?

“How’d she take it? Wheeler, I mean,” Eddie asks, as casually as possible while his thumb is still stroking Steve’s knuckles.

“Uh… pretty good, actually. She was kinda surprised, and she wanted a little bit of time to come around to the idea, but I think she was mostly just bothered that she didn’t figure it out before I told her.” Steve smiles, distantly fond. “But after that, she was cool. We didn’t talk about it much, but I knew that I could talk to her if I wanted to. I’d never had that before. It was… nice.”

It does sound nice. It had probably been the first time anyone had ever been close to accepting every part of who Steve is, and Eddie feels almost bad about turning the memory to sex.

Almost, but not quite.

“So… she was cool with…” Eddie’s eyes flash down below the belt, obvious and significant, “getting involved?”

A sly grin spreads over Steve’s face as he catches Eddie’s eyes. “Are you trying to ask what Nancy and I did in bed?”

Eddie throws his hands up in defense, forgetting for a moment that he’s holding one of Steve’s hands and pulling it up with him. “I’m just trying to figure out what I’m working with here,” he insists, smiling a little too hard to be innocent. “Now, you insinuated you have talents in the oral and digital departments—which I am very interested in, by the way—but what I want to know is what’s been done for you.”

Steve eyes Eddie like he’s considering whether or not to answer, but the way he’s licking his lips says he’s already decided, even if he doesn’t quite realize that himself.

“She… definitely didn’t mind being involved,” he says finally; there’s a slight stain of pink gathering at the tops of his cheeks that Eddie sort of wants to bite. “She would finger me. Sometimes she’d go down on me, but I think we both enjoyed it more the other way around. I think she liked seeing me get myself off while I did it, and I– definitely liked that, too.”

Eddie makes the mistake of imagining it: Steve on his knees, fingers buried in his cunt, wet and dripping, his hips jerking down onto his own hand, maybe kneeling between Eddie’s legs while he does it, maybe looking up through his lashes while he sucks Eddie’s cock.

A little noise escapes Eddie.

“How about… toys?” he manages after a moment. He’s leaning closer now, raptly watching the way the flush on Steve’s face darkens. “You ever try those?”

“I have a… a couple,” Steve says, voice gone low and rough, his eyes fastened now to Eddie’s mouth. “We didn’t use them together, though, they’re just mine.”

Oh, they’re going to revisit that. They are absolutely going to revisit that, but right now Eddie is on a mission. He won’t let himself be distracted.

He slides closer, practically on top of Steve now, one hand on his hip and the other spread warmly over his ribs.

“Never thought about a strap?” he asks.

Steve shrugs, not nearly as nonchalant as he’s pretending. “Thought about it, never quite got there.”

“Which way were you thinking? Would you have worn it? Or…” Eddie is going out on a limb here; just because Steve has a pussy doesn’t mean he likes the idea of penetration, but Eddie has a hunch. “Or would it have been the other way around?”

A sharp breath escapes Steve’s chest. “Do you want that?” he asks, soft, almost hopeful.

Eddie strokes a thumb across his ribs. “Want what?”

“To fuck me.”

This time it’s Eddie who goes breathless. “Is that even a fucking question?” he demands, and then, in case he wasn’t clear, adds, “I would want very much to do that, yeah. If you want me to.”

“I wasn’t sure if you would,” Steve says. “I mean, I know you’re strictly into guys, and I don’t exactly have… a conventional dick.”

“You’re not gonna let that one go, are you?” Eddie asks, eyeing Steve’s smirk.

“We’ll see,” Steve says, which likely means no.

“Fine. But Steve,” Eddie reaches up, cupping Steve’s face in his hands, “I am one hundred fucking percent into you. You are a guy. You are an incredibly hot guy whose pants I have been wanting to get into forever, no matter what you’ve got in there.”

Steve smiles, and Eddie caresses the corners of it with his thumbs.

“Well, you do seem to prefer the weirder shit, anyway,” Steve murmurs.

“Not weird. Different,” Eddie says, and Steve makes a face at him but readily allows him the kiss he presses in for after that.

“So have you…” Steve starts, once they’ve broken apart, “ever been with a guy with my, uh– sort of equipment?”

Eddie would make fun of how awkwardly the words had tumbled out if he hadn’t suddenly been feeling a bit awkward himself.

“Not, uh, exactly.” Steve raises an eyebrow at him and Eddie amends snappishly, “okay, fine, not at all, no.”

“But you’re open to it?” Steve checks, as if the way Eddie has pressed against him like a needy cat has left any room for doubt.

“More than open,” Eddie says. “I might just, y’know– need some direction? To start with?”

“Directions, huh?” Steve smirks. “I can work with that.”

Eddie has no doubt that he can – and that Eddie will enjoy every second of it.

[earlysunshines]

are we still friends? (can we be friends?)

minatozaki sana x fem!reader ; fluff, angst 

synopsis: seeing sana again during christmas causes feelings to resurface

warnings: food ; alcohol ; datzu crumbs ; cursing ; proofread halfway bc i got lazy + grammar and spelling errors probably

a/n: how to write angst?? am i cooked?? (I'm cooked) ALSO I wrote this in December so a lonnnngg time ago like when I touched the doc for the first time two days ago it said last edited 12/30/23 T-T

“y/n! come help with the decorations, it a bit tough to reach.” your mom calls out from the entrance.  

pausing in your place, you turn to respond to her, “i’ll be there in a bit, let me finish mixing everything.” 

“okay honey. make sure to wear a coat when you get out here, it’s chilly!” she yells back before closing the door. 

a giggle leaves your lips as you continue to sift the dry ingredients, trying not to spill the flour and sugar. when you’re done with a part of your cookie process, you wash your hands and throw on your puffer jacket before heading out to help your mom. 

christmas is in four days and your mom has this annual thing where she throws a big party at your place every christmas eve. she invites all her friends who are back in town—some even fly out to come to this big event—and it goes on until the concerningly late hours of the night.  

your mom didn’t get to throw this big party last year because she was terribly sick, so you missed it that time, but now she’s so back.  

this means you’re in charge of the baking (yet again) and also helping her out everywhere. it’s not that you don’t enjoy this, if anything you look forward to this event—just not this year, it won’t be the same as the previous christmas parties. 

your mom has this friend who moved in five minutes away from your house when you were twelve, and they had a daughter your age. of course, both your mothers found a way to get you guys to meet, and eventually, you’d be spending the majority of your middle and high school years together stuck by the hip. 

her name was minatozaki sana; she was the first person you had fallen in love with inside and out.  

she had this type of vibrance to her that spread through her surroundings like a bullet train. if the room was dim, it’d seem like she had brought a piece of the sun inside just by being there, instantly illuminating it. it was palpable that she had her flaws, everyone did, but with the way she held herself up and gave her all, you’d see right past her imperfections and into that warm heart of hers. 

sana expected nothing and appreciated everything, that’s what made her lips curl up into a contagious grin. the streaks of creased skin in the corner of her eyes as she flashed that toothy grin gave everyone the intimation that she was simply overjoyed to be able to have the ability to love and to care. she was so beautiful in the way she found adoration so enticing, and that’s why you had fallen in love with her. 

your years with her passed by quickly, each year was filled with vibrant memories that led you to fall even deeper into her charm. however, you never mustered up the courage to tell her how you really felt toward her, and by the time you had gotten close to spilling out your pent up feelings; sana had found herself a little boyfriend. 

chris was some guy on the basketball team—who was also a bit short and lacking skill to even make the team—he was an arrogant, pretentious, and egotistical snob who managed to win sana’s heart. how did he do this? who knows, everyone who’s interacted with him either hates his guts or is in love with his pathetic self.  

he was only nice around sana, but you had seen him when he wasn’t pretending like there wasn't a stick up his ass. he was below the bare minimum and that’s how you’d describe him, he was nowhere near sana’s league. if anything, maybe you were just jealous (and that you were), but you knew what kind of person deserved sana—chris was not someone who deserved a wonderful woman like her. 

that asshole managed to win sana’s heart and keep it for half of junior year and all of senior year of high school, then he managed to convince her to go to a college that was a five-hour flight away from home—and by the way, your town was a two-hour drive from a well-known, top notch university, one that you and sana agreed to go to when you were both in middle school. 

there was no way you’d let sana go to that college, not when chris was the reason she was going. it was a school that wasn’t even comparable to the one not so far from home, the one that had significant alumni and programs fit for the both of you. sana could easily win a decent scholarship to the university you’ve been dreaming of going to, but she was going to let him change her mind in a matter of seconds. 

there was no way you’d let that happen, so you simply walked over to her house and stormed up to her room after seeing her text regarding this whole plan, a fool’s plan.  

- 

you remember the argument that shattered your friendships in seconds, almost like it was yesterday. 

“sana, you can’t just go to that school because of chris. look, i’m saying this as your friend and because i love you: he’s not all that, and the uni nearby has great health programs, they’re ten times better than the school over there and you know it.” you argue.  

you’re pacing around the room that you and sana have had countless late-night conversations and sleepovers in, the place where you had done more for sana than chris did. your eyes land on the two strips of laminated paper that hold the memory of the time you two had gone to the photobooth on your sixteenth birthday, your brows crease at the sight of your cheeks squished with sana’s as the two of you posed. a heavy breath makes your lungs shrink as you exhale. 

“i can’t let you do this, not for him sana.” 

“but i love him so much y/n, you know this. he promised we could stay in an apartment together and that everything would be perfect, we have a whole future planned and i—” 

“what about us sana?” you cut her off, voice breaking slightly. “what about our future? we promised that we’d go to that uni together, what happened to that? you’re going to throw it away for him?” 

“you’re being ridiculous y/n, we were thirteen! things change and you need to grow up, look—”  

“we’ve known each other since elementary school and you’re throwing away this opportunity for a guy whose grades are falling apart. not only that, he’s a fucking ass! you’ve come crying and complaining to me more times than i can count on my left hand.” you respond angrily, and much louder than you meant to. 

sana looks at you in disbelief, her expression almost carrying some sort of disappointment or disgust. she scoffs and you feel your heart shatter just from hearing it, this isn’t like her at all. 

“if you were so fucking annoyed by my misery then you could’ve told me,” she responds harshly, water lining her eyes.  

“sana that’s not what i—" 

“you’re supposed to be my best friend, always there for me and to support me. now look at you, what happened to that? can’t you be happy for me and chris? i seriously love him and all you’ve been is mopey and bitchy whenever he’s around.” 

“i know more people that have treated you better than him. he’s an asshole sana, it’s clear as day and even dahyun agrees.” 

her eyes meet the floor and she says in a smaller voice, “i love him y/n, and he loves me.” 

not like i love you, never will he love you like that. 

your features soften as you look at her. “sana you can’t—” 

“get out of my room.” sana spits in a stinging tone that’s worse than a dagger to your heart. she shakes her head then turns to avoid your gaze and your heart completely shatters as you watch a tear slide down her cheek in the process. “get out of my house, i don’t want to hear it.” 

“sana,” you begin, but when you hear her sniffle, you hold back everything that’s burning in your chest. your shoulders give up and sink in defeat before you croak out an “okay.” 

turning around, you step out of her bedroom with a heavy heart and trembling lips. tears stream down your cheeks as you make your way out of the house where sana and you had spent countless hours together—hours that you’d never forget no matter how hard you tried. 

- 

each breath you take is visible in the cold air and snow compresses with each step you take whilst hanging up the christmas lights. your mother smiles once you pin the last string up and  then you take a step back to admire the illuminating pattern of diverse hues beaming when your mom presses the “on” button. 

“thank you again honey, i appreciate it.” your mom says, holding your hand and squeezing it gently.  

you turn and smile at her, shaking your head before responding, “anytime mom.” 

the two of you enter the house again and immediately you’re on your way back to the kitchen to finish up your famous cookies. you three different types of cookies: chocolate chip cookies (the fastest batch to be eaten), matcha cookies with white chocolate chips, and ube cookies—sana’s favorites. 

-- 

“ube? what’s that?” sana says, giggling softly as you hand her a purple cookie with white chocolate chunks.  

“just try it sana, you’ll love it.” you assure, urging her to try. “it’s purple too, how could you not?” 

she rolls her eyes at you then picks up the sweet treat, taking a bite of the cookie. it’s crunchy on the outside and perfectly soft on the inside, making her shoulders sink down and eyes close when the new, thrilling flavor meets her tastebuds. 

“so, how is it?” you ask, raising your brows. sana simply smiles and nods, shooting a dorky thumbs up before taking another bite. 

“it’s wonderful, it’s like coconut and nutty and has vanilla and oh my gosh it’s so… it’s really good.” she sighs, melting as she consumes your baked good. she looks adorable. 

you laugh at her response and take a bite of your own experiment, eyes widening at how good they were. sana was right, they’re wonderful. 

-- 

“ah the purple cookies, those were a hit ever since you started making them.” your mom says, rubbing your back. she looks at you with some pity, knowing about your little falling out with sana. 

you simply smile and nod. “i like them, i was going to save some for myself too.” you joke, easing some tension in the air. 

“well, i’m going to call your dad up, go visit the kim’s later and tell them i said hi.” your mom insists, placing a twenty dollar bill on the marble counter. “heard they have a holiday latte out, you should try it. dahyun’s also been experimenting with her baking and beverages, she gets better each time i visit.” 

“of course she is,” you chuckle lightheartedly, “let me just finish these last cookies and i’ll put them in the fridge for a bit. did you want anything from their place?” 

“no, it’s fine. oh wait! i have a present for dahyun’s mom, can you give her this if she’s there?” she asks. 

“mhm,” you hum,  “just put it near my bag on the couch.” 

“thanks sweetie, i’ll do that.” your mother beams, then rushes towards her room to grab whatever it was that she needed. 

-- 

ring  

the sound of the bell chimes throughout the café—which is not too busy other than the elderly group in the corner and a student typing away at their computer to the side. you catch sight of the familiar face, instantly grinning when you walk towards the register. 

dahyun is turned away from you and cleaning the espresso machine, wiping it down and yelling a “welcome! feel free to check out the holiday pastries and beverages!” without turning towards you. 

you laugh and speak up, “it’s nice to see you miss know-it-all.” and upon hearing your voice dahyun instantly turns around, beaming a bright grin and setting her rag down. 

“y/n? you didn’t tell me you were in town? what the hell where were you last year?” she questions, walking out from behind the counter and then towards you to greet you with a warm hug. she smells like coffee grinds and cinnamon, you hug her back and smile. 

“i was deathly sick last year, like seriously fighting for my life. i didn’t tell you?” 

“no stupid, you didn’t.” she sighs, then pulls away to look at you. “i’ve only seen your instagram posts, haven’t seen you in a bit and wow… you look better than in the pictures.” 

“thank you?” you giggle before she walks over to return back behind the register. “i’ve also seen your instagram… who’s that girl you’ve been posting? got a girl and didn’t fill me in with the details?” you pry, smirking cheekily. 

“oh, tzu… gosh y/n we have so much to talk about, i’m glad you’re back in town.” dahyun says appreciatively, and you don’t miss the slight pink that dusts on her cheeks before she starts again, “let’s talk over some coffee. what can i get you? on the house by the way. we have like, thirty minutes before a bunch of people start piling in.” 

a giggle leaves your lips again before you decide on a peppermint mocha. dahyun gets to work and weighs out the coffee grins as you situate yourself to the side, watching her work her magic. 

the two of you catch up on what’s been going on with college, dahyun’s love life that you’ve missed out on, and what you’ve been up to yourself. twenty minutes pass and you’ve both ended up on some old memory that has the two of you laughing like idiots again, making both your stomachs hurt. 

“so… we’ve talked about what’s been going on with me… what about you and your love life? bet you’ve met a girl too.” dahyun interrogates with a teasing tone.  

“oh, well—” you begin, awkwardly staring at the cup in your hand. “i dated this girl for a while, but we ended up falling out and staying friends, nothing much… we just weren’t right for each other.” 

“i see…” dahyun responds, holding herself back from bringing up the sensitive topic—or, well, person.  

dahyun was aware of the falling out as well, but still stayed friends with sana. however, she was your friend before she met sana, so she had made sure if it was alright to keep contact and whatnot. of course you didn’t want your own personal problems to get in between other friendships, and you still loved sana despite everything that had happened so you gave dahyun the green light.  

after running to dahyun the same night of the argument with sana, you cried for an hour or two in her room. this was the first time you turned to someone other than sana, and dahyun had been on your side of the whole situation, making it easier to comfort and reassure you. she also disliked chris, but not as much as she liked you. 

she pretty much agreed with everything you had ranted about and thought it was stupid that sana would rather choose that asshole over someone like you, and later on you’d confess that you were in love with sana to dahyun. when everything had been rocky with sana, dahyun had been by your side, and you were grateful for that. 

“well, maybe you’ll land yourself a kiss under the mistletoe, who knows who’ll be showing up to your christmas party.” dahyun nudges you, smiling as she hands you some peppermint chocolate bark treat. “i could always set you up~” 

“it’s fine, really.” you guarantee. a smile spreads across your face and you dismiss her offer with a wave of your hand. “um, by the way… has um, has she stopped by or anything like that recently? does sana still visit—" 

there’s another ring from the door opening that cuts you off, making dahyun’s attention redirect towards the customer walking in. her eyes widen and she pauses in place before smiling awkwardly, then she mumbles an uneasy “um, be back…” before walking over to the register. 

you don’t think much of her weird mood shift and instead swirl around the small remainder of coffee in the latte cup. 

“hi dahyun! it’s nice to see you again.” a voice beams.  

you freeze in place, all of your body tensing up as soon as the familiar voice processes through your ears. it’s smooth, it’s sweet, and it has that same high-pitched ring and giggle that follows. immediately, your heartbeat spikes and you’re doing anything you can to avoid interacting or even looking in the woman’s direction. 

“it’s nice to see you too sana,” dahyun greets with a bubbly tone. the name being uttered from dahyun’s mouth is enough to make your hands grip the cup in your hand a little tighter. “can i get you anything?”  

“hm… i’ll have that peppermint mocha please. i’m also going to take a look around the bakery, i need to grab some treats for others. you know how it is, holidays and whatnot.” sana says in that adorable tone, it has you falling for her all over again just when you thought you’d gotten over everything that’s happened. 

quickly, you finish the last sip of your coffee before setting the empty cup down abruptly. it makes a small yet noticeable sound with the glass plate it had been sitting on, making sana advert her gaze.  

the small gift you had set down beside you is now placed on the glass that covers the display of christmas themed cakes. dahyun looks at you in confusion and tilts her head before you turn to smile at her, avoiding sana’s widening eyes. 

“thanks for the coffee dahyun, take the present on the glass to your mom—it’s from my mom to yours.” you start, trying to keep your voice level 

every ounce of restraint and discipline is fighting back the urge to simply glance at sana, who’s standing right in front of dahyun. you almost manage to avoid her, but it’s inevitable, your eyes land on your first love for the first time in almost two years. 

she’s looking at you with parted lips and surprise, but she still looks as beautiful as you remember. sana looks a little more mature than when you last saw her; the curve of her jaw is sharper, lips somehow brighter and her features are more defined overall. sana is wearing a scarf that fits around her neck comfortably, a brown, fluffy sweater, and dark sweatpants with uggs to compliment the outfit. there’s simplicity in her look—she’s jaw dropping, the sight of her makes your jaw tighten and heartbeat spike.  

her eyes meet yours for exactly three seconds, enough time to have every memory flowing in. 

clearing your throat, you finish your farewell to dahyun with a smile, “i’ll see you around, my mom says hi to your mom, tell her i also said hi too. i’ll get going now, have a good one.” 

your body doesn’t fight back the urge to glance at sana again—big mistake—before turning around and walking out the door. 

sana keeps her look on you the whole time, baffled to see you here and her own heart yearns for you. she’s missed you more than you’d ever know, and more than she’d like to admit. it doesn’t help her case that you’re ten times more attractive than when she’d last seen you at graduation. 

“you should talk to her.” dahyun says softly. sana keeps her eye on the door, you’re already out and probably in your car, but she keeps her eye on the door still. 

“were you talking to her earlier?” sana asks, now turning to face the younger woman. 

“we were catching up.” dahyun answers. the woman behind the register turns around to start making sana’s drink, unknowingly the same drink you had ordered. it all makes dahyun’s own heart sink in her chest a bit. “how long has it been since you’ve talked to her?” 

“since graduation.” sana explains, looking down at the counter. “i messed up.” 

dahyun turns around again to see sana, sorrow and regret etching into her features. the barista frows and reaches over to place her hand on sana’s shoulder, then rubs it gently.  

“talk to her, there’s always time to fix things. especially with y/n.” 

-- 

a few days past since that meeting, you’re still shaken up from it to say the least.  

sana is too, but you aren’t aware of that. 

to stray away from this event that is dreadfully close to leading to some form of existential crisis or spiral, you’re helping your mom out with setting up the last few decorations and tables while your cookies that you chilled a couple days ago bake.  

dahyun is also coming over with her girlfriend in the evening to exchange a couple of greetings and to properly introduce her girlfriend tzuyu to you. your mother had met tzuyu before and talked highly about her, so you were excited to meet her yourself.  

when the time comes, you hear a knock at the door and shoot up to answer it. you open the door and dahyun stands there with a nervous grin on her face. next to her stands tzuyu—and sana.  

your eyes widen and your jaw tenses when you see her perfect face, standing next to tzuyu with this awkward smile. she’s wearing a gray pullover and black sweatpants; an orange scarf also wraps around her neck comfortably. she looks snug and cute as ever, no matter what she’s adorable in your eyes. your heart flutters and you get all nervous like a teenager again. 

pushing away the edginess flowing throughout your whole being, you greet dahyun with a warm hug, then give tzuyu and friendly one as well. you’re not sure how to greet sana, being all shaken up by just her presence, so you resort to a smile and a small “hi sana,” then invite them all in. 

sana walks in and her hand brushes against your arm on accident, the two of you definitely notice it—though you both decide to ignore it and the warmth in your chests.  

your mom greets all the girls with a hug and the five of you sit down in your homey living room. sana sits across from you on the couch next to your mom, and you sit there avoiding eye contact as you all catch up. 

an hour passes by and dahyun is over in the living room talking to your mom about what’s been going on with her parents and the bakery. in the meantime, you decide to give yourself a break from feeling all nervous just by being near sana. 

standing up, you announce, “i’m going to the kitchen for a bit.” your mom simply raises her brows at your sudden departure, you’ve been silent for most of the conversation and it seems like you’re the only one affected by the tension in the room. “won’t be long.” you add, smiling weakly. 

the fridge is still full of some essentials, and to the side, there’s some cold brew and your favorite coconut milk; everything you need is right where you need it. you head over to the counter and grab your favorite glass cup, heart stinging at the memory of when you had received it. it was one of the many gifts from sana. 

you grab some ice and put it in the cup, then add your cold brew inside. then you grab a small cup with some honey and search for a spoon so you can mix it in with the coconut milk. 

“drinking coffee at this time?” a voice says, making you freeze. you break out of your short trance and hum in response before continuing to make your drink. 

“you know i can’t resist a good coffee, sana.” and the way her name slips off your tongue feels right. you haven’t said it often since the falling out and it still rolls off perfectly, it feels right coming from you. you’re hesitant to talk again, feeling her eyes drill into your back. something in your heart shifts and you manage to ask, “did you want something to drink?” 

“yeah,” she answers, walking over to you and sitting at the kitchen island. “same thing you’re drinking, but sweeter.” 

of course she wants it sweet, just like always.  

“okay.”  

your back is still turned towards sana and she watches you grab another glass. as you do so, she gets a glimpse of your own glass and smiles. “is that the cup i got you?”  

still fixing up her drink, you nod and answer, “yeah. it’s my favorite.” 

“a lot of your gifts are my favorites too.” she admits, her voice so soft and fragile that you’re scared the thick tension in the air might break it. 

sana watches you turn around, but you still avoid her gaze. you place both cups on the surface of the kitchen island and begin to pour the coconut milk mixtures into the coffee. the liquids swirl as they combine, creating a satisfying view. sana’s quick to redirect her attention back to you, staring at your face again. 

last time she had saw you at dahyun’s cafe, she only had the chance to get a simple glance at your features, not enough time to fully take in everything that’s changed about your apperance. there’s two new piercings on both ears and a new, small tattoo below your ear; the length of your hair is also noticeably longer. your lips part as you swirl both cups in your hands around, and then you take a quick glance to the side, allowing sana to admire your side profile and the unique curve of your nose and lips. 

you hold the mug out for her and finally meet her eyes again. sana’s favorite thing about you were your eyes, they’re still as pretty as she remembers.  

- 

it’s some thursday night during your sophomore year of high school, you were supposed to be studying with sana for your math quiz tomorrow, but she had other ideas.  

“stay still,” sana mumbles softly. 

she situates you in the chair near her desk and tilts your head up with the fingers holding your chin. she’s inches away from you as she puts some sort of sponge on your face, brows creasing as she does so. your heart is racing. 

after a couple of minutes, sana finishes up your makeup. she’s done some type of natural look on you, nothing too heavy or bold. you look at yourself through the mirror and take a moment to examine sana’s doings. as you do so, sana can’t keep her eyes off you. 

something in her heart shifts as she admires you. her eyes land on your lips, they’re oddly alluring, and sana’s cheeks burn. 

“sana you’re staring… do i look weird?” 

“no,” she practically breathes out, mouth slightly agape. “you’re beautiful.” she says breathlessly, her expression turning all serious it makes you giggle awkwardly. 

there have been many moments where sana has found you pretty, not just physically. your small gifts and reassurance have made her heart flutter, but she’s always figured that was just because she loved you deeply as a friend. but when you stare at her with those eyes in this moment, she’s so surprised by everything she feels. she's giddy and happy and warm inside and gosh her heart wants to jump out her chest and cling onto you. she's not opposed to the feeling; she always has this feeling aorunf you and she loves it. that's why she’s always around you in the first place. 

her face burns and you’re gazing at her all confused, you look so cute. 

growing nervous from how non-verbal sana has been, you try to shake her out of her trance. “hey, you’re scaring me. earth to sana? hellooooo…?” 

“how are you so pretty all the time.” sana’s eyes soften and her whole body relaxes as she rests her head on her palm. “like, your face is so perfect and your eyes… god y/n, whoever gets to be with you would be so lucky, seriously. like, you’re honestly the prettiest girl in our school, how do you not have a boyfriend?” 

your cheeks flush from the abrupt compliment, so you push her gently and giggle. sana giggles along with you, still star-struck. you’re both young and unknowingly in love with each other—giggles and teasing seem to be the only way to hide that. 

- 

sana has always found you attractive, after all these years she still hasn’t figured out why she made the mistake of pursuing chris instead of the person who was always there for her—and ten times prettier. you’ve always been right there, she’s a fool for looking right past you. 

sana grabs the mug, still making eye contact with you and both your eyes soften at the same time. 

“y/n i’m sorry.” she says immediately, “i messed up really bad and—” 

“sana,” you cut her off, “just enjoy the drink.” she watches you smile at her, it’s genuine and small, still enough to calm her nerves. you grab your glass and walk towards the door to the porch, tilting your head and urging her to come follow. sana figures she could pour her heart out later, if it were on the porch it wouldn’t be the first time she’s poured out her emotions there.  

the two of you find a seat across from each other, the fairy lights above create some type of ambiance to ease the tension that’s hanging in the air like an invisible cloak of some sort, suffocating the two of you with its unease. 

“how have you been?” sana asks. it’s cliché, but what else was she supposed to say?  

you don’t look up from the drink in your hand when you respond, “good, you?”  

“likewise.” sana lies, her jaw clenching.  

“you know,” you begin, and with intent, your eyes meet her face and she’s doing the same as you had been doing before; she simply sits there with the drink in her hand, looking quite on edge. “i figured if i were to see you again like this, chris would be with you.”  

“we broke up three months after we moved in together.” sana says quietly, “i broke up with him.” 

“sana…” you mumble quietly, surprised to say the least. “why— what?” 

“i ruined everything between you and i because i was so blinded by his affection, i couldn’t stay with him anymore with guilt clawing at me.” she explains, her voice breaking slightly. “and i couldn’t bring myself to talk to you after hurting you. losing you was the biggest mistake of my life. god, it took everything in me to come back to you.” 

“you never lost me sana,”  

“i’m just… sorry for everything, i really am.” she says sincerely, “and i don’t think enough words could really explain how sorry i am.” 

you look at her with pity, and despite her coldness towards you during the last semester of your senior year, you decide to let everything go. she’s your best friend after all, you promised yourself to be there. 

“it’s okay.” you say, it’s not the truth, but it’s not a lie either. “it was my fault too for letting the distance between us get larger.” 

“don’t say that, it’s not your fault.” sana sighs. she takes a sip of the coffee, it’s good, of course— everything you’ve ever made for her has been great. “i only stayed with chris because i was scared. that’s why it was so easy for me to leave everyone i loved behind, i think.” 

“scared? …of what?” 

she looks dead into your eyes and exhales, “i realized that, that maybe i was with chris because i was trying to push down how i felt about you.” 

you tilt your head in confusion, then begin to pry, “sana what do you mean—" 

“y/n, i was falling for you and it terrified me. i mean, i loved you, and honestly, i think i still do. i'm so fucking dumb, god i'm just oblivious.” sana says, then immediately, your heart rate spikes and your brows raise. she continues while fidgeting with her fingers, “i guess it’s easier to admit now because we’ve grown distant, and physically we’re distant enough. chris treated me alright and loved me, but i came crying to you all the time because he never treated me like how i wanted you to treat me, i don’t know why i did that. i don’t know why i let myself go through that when i had you. every time i’d kiss him i wished it were you, every time we did anything honestly.” 

sana's eyes shimmered with unshed tears, their glossy shine failing to hide the immense emotions she was desperately trying to suppress. the weight of her confession hung in the air, causing the entire world to momentarily freeze. it felt as though time itself had paused, giving you a moment to absorb the magnitude of her words. 

sana loved you, and she still does. you loved her, and you still do.  

but really, you can’t. you can’t go through with this. it’s too sudden, so unorganized and uncertain. 

all of this is a recipe for disaster. 

the echo of her vulnerability reverberated through the atmosphere, your mind spun in a cyclone of emotions. thoughts collided and collided again like football players during some game, leaving your head in a dizzying state of confusion, the sheer intensity of it all was jarring, leaving you all disoriented. the feelings you suppressed were finding their way back out, and you found yourself teetering on the precipice of vulnerability once again, just as you did years ago. 

finding out that sana loved you still gave you hope, but the revelation also made you uneasy. it had been too long without sana, and so much had happened, so there was the chance that things would be all rocky. besides, it’s just too sudden. 

“i’m— sorry for dumping all of this, i just wanted to give you closure because… well, i should’ve given you it years ago.” a tear streams down her eye as she says this, and then she begins to stand. “i should leave, i’m sorry for not letting you know i was coming— god i’m so sorry.” 

“sana wait—” you start, grabbing her wrist. she looks into your eyes, her’s are still glossy. you decide it’s better to let her go for now, unsure if this is the last time you’ll see her after this—hopefully not. “it’s okay, just… be careful. you know i’m always here, always sha.” 

the nickname that you made up for her makes her heart crack a little, she can only smile back at you for now. 

— 

the conversation between dahyun, tzuyu, and your mom is interrupted when dahyun catches the sight of sana pulling her scarf off the hook and wrapping it around her neck again. she takes account of the slight flush of her nose and cheeks, as well as her water-lined eyes. 

“you’re leaving?” dahyun asks, concern clear in her tone. sana simply smiles and nods, “yeah, i’ll see you at the holiday party. it was nice seeing you too miss l/n, i missed all of this.” 

“you’re always welcome honey,” your mother assures, “where’s y/n?” 

“out on the porch, she said she’ll be back in a bit. i’ll see you all, thank you.” sana says before departing, leaving the three women in the living room perplexed. 

a few minutes later whilst the three in the living room conjure up theories of what had happened while you and sana had been gone—you appear with a blank expression. you sit down next to your mom and lean against her, not saying a word. 

tzuyu (who is only briefly caught up with whatever had happened between you and sana, and she deinfitely needs a thorough presentation on your history) looks at dahyun and tilts her head, dahyun simply shakes her own head. 

“sana and i talked a bit, resolved and made things clear.” you say, answering the elephant in the room. “i’m heading up, i’m getting sleepy and i want to have some energy for the party tomorrow.” you add. “it was nice getting to know you tzuyu, you’re perfect for the idiot beside you. night everyone.” chuckling quietly in between responses. 

and with that you’re walking up the stairs to your room, leaving your mom, tzuyu, and dahyun perplexed yet again. 

- 

december 25th, five o’clock pm. 

you're greeting guests, various familiar faces and their parents, family friends, and whoever else you mom managed to fit on the list. 

the party is lively, with people scattered in the backyard and on the little porch while your dad grills his signature bbq meats. your mom laughs with her friends as she sips on her wine, moving her hands around as she talks to emphasize her little life updates. 

in the basement with you are your old high school friends: momo, her cousin mina, jaehyun, mark, johnny, seulgi, sooyoung, jeongyeon, and dahyun, who’s accompanied by tzuyu. the rest of your frineds couldn’t make it, they were probably out of town. all of them sit on the floor or couch with a can of smirnoff or soda, all chatting and laughing over old memories. 

you lean against jaehyun as you laugh, letting yourself hide behind his shoulder while mark ruthlessly brings up each embarrassing phase you’ve had. what a guy, a guy you’ll be figthing soon if he keeps this up. 

the feeling of your phone ringing against your palm as you hold it catches your attention, directing you from the conversation at hand. the screen shows a call from “mom♡” which earns a confused look. you answer the call, cupping the phone so you can hear her better as you answer. 

“hello? did you need something?” 

“hey honey, would you mind coming out for a bit? someone wants to see you.” 

“someone?” you ask, “one of your friends or...?” 

“just come on out sweetie.” she insistts. 

“okay okay, whatever you say.” you respond before ending the call and starting to get up. jaehyun looks up at you with a quirked brow as he sips on his drink. you look back and shrug, “my mom wants me to meet ‘someone,’ probably one of her friends or something. i won’t be long.” you respond to him and let the others know. 

"alright, take your time," jaehyun says with a nod, setting his drink down. "hopefully, it won't be too boring," he adds with a small smirk, teasing you gently. you roll your eyes playfully in response before grabbing your jacket and heading towards the sliding door.  

you were right about the guess on seeing your mom's friend, or—friends. however, the sudden chill you get when seeing the minatozaki’s on the porch makes you tense up.  

they're standing there, glasses of wine in their hands as they look at you. sana's mom has a smile on her face, so does her dad. you walk up to them and try to shake off your nerves, fully hugging sana’s mom and giving sana’s dad a side hug. 

“it’s been a while hasn’t it?” sana’s mom says, putting her hand on your shoulder and grinning. “it’s wonderful to see you again.” 

“likewise.” you respond, melting into relaxation the more you get used to this atmosphere. “how have you all been?” 

after a tense reunion with sana’s parents, they find out about your ambitions and what you’ve been up to. not much is mentioned about the falling out between you and their daughter, but the thought most definitely lingers in the cold, winter air.  

sana's parents tell you about an internship she earned at a hospital her first year, saying they’re proud of her for helping others and the bonus of the nice paycheck that came with the experience. they tell you she’s found herself a guaranteed transfer to your school and that she’s excited to help even more people in the nursing program. it sounds like sana’s a great person, she’s always wanted to help others, it makes you smile and nod as her parents update you on what she’s been up to. 

but there’s this feeling of uncertainty and sorrow brewing. the fact that you have to hear about sana from anyone but her breaks you a bit, knowing that the two of you wouldn’t hesitate to update each other back then. now, it seems like you’re missing a chunk of memories that you could’ve shared with sana. 

“we asked her to come to the party.” mr. minatozaki says, looking at you with a sympathetic smile. “she said she’d consider it.” 

“oh, i see.” you respond, nodding whilst looking at the ground.  

part of you is glad that she’s not here, but who are you kidding, there would never be a time where you’d be dissapointed to catch her near you, despite the paranoia taking over. 

“well, it’s nice to catch up y/n. we've missed you, it’s great to see how well you’re doing. your parents must be proud.” mr. minatozaki concludes, looking at you with admiration. 

“yeah, thanks.” you say, “well, i'll leave you to talk to my parents, but i'll stop by again to talk to you two. it's really nice to catch up, i've missed you guys too, and your wonderful dinners.” you add jokingly, earning a laugh from the couple. 

sana's mom kisses your temple and hugs you, then lets you walk back into the house. 

it seems like this whole night has been full of surprises—scratch that, at this point, everything is a surprise ever since you've been back in town. especially now, because once you step into the kitchen, there’s a familiar woman who’s making your knees weak all over again. 

“y/n, hey.” sana greets softly, smiling at you. 

she's just hung up her scarf on the little hook near the fridge, the same place she’d always hang it back then. there was this unspoken rule that when sana was here, there were certain spaces that belonged to her; the hook near the fridge, the chair at the dining table closest to the living room, the right side of your bed, and the left side of the couch in the basement.  

still, you’re pissed at the fact she had practically cut you off completely over a boy just to come back years later to win you back. it irritated you how easy it was for sana to convince you, but you were much angrier at the thought of her coming back to see you because her and chris didn’t work out. was she serious about the breakup? was that all it took to forget that she had caused so much mental turmoil? 

despite this, her being in your house again and seeing her at this christmas party like years before; everything reminds you of the fact that sana had always lingered in your home. 

“hey, didn’t think you’d make it.” you respond, watching her shrug. 

“my parents said your signature cookies are here, i had to.” 

can't be the only reason, you want to mumble, but your lips stay sealed. 

sana speaks again, “i stole a couple, ate some earlier actually. still as great as i remembered.” 

“thanks.” you mutter, walking over to the fridge to grab a bottle of water. “did you want to talk about something?” 

“what do you mean?” 

“there’s a reason you came, and i know it’s for me since you’re not in the basement with everyone else. we both know that’s the signature spot.” 

sana cringes at your tone, but gives in. 

“i just wanted to see you, and hopefully talk to you normally.” 

it's taking everything in you to hold your ground, to protect yourself from this sudden appearance that’s making you all uneasy again. you can’t let sana screw you up again with a simple visit, you can’t. 

“i know you’re sorry but sana, you treated me so terribly. do you know how much i cried? how fucking terrible i felt after losing my friend of years to chris?” you seethe, sighing. “part of me wants to start over, maybe try again—but how can i do that when there’s the chance of you throwing away everything, we rebuild over another stupid fucking guy.” 

she looks at you with guilt in her eyes, her shoulders sinking and words jumbling in her throat.  

“y/n, nothing—no one, despite what i've done to you, will ever make me forget how much i love you. there's always a space in my heart for you.” 

you scoff, anger flowing throughout you now, then walk over to her. she stands against the frame of the entrance, you stand in front of her now, looking down slightly. sana's looking at you directly in the eye, you can see the hurt and regret in her eyes; her look brings you back to your senses. 

“how do i know you’re not bluffing? sana, every ounce of me wants to redo this.” your voice cracks slightly, the hurt evident in your tone.  

“you just have to trust me, i'm sorry, i'm really sorry.” 

you feel like curling up into a ball and hiding, the way your chest tightens makes you want to cry a bit. 

- 

the party ends around one in the morning, considering the fact that some of the attendants are adults that don’t have the energy to party until the sunrises.  

jaehyun’s just crossed the line, now slurring his words and laughing stupidly while he gets touchy with the guys, so mark ends up driving him home. johnny catches a ride with seulgi and sooyoung. with them gone, you’re in the basement with momo, mina, dahyun, and tzuyu. all five of you end the night with some recollections of memories, momo’s recent date, mina’s annoying professor, and before you know it you all are hugging goodbye. 

you've already gone through three cans of the smirnoff cans, it hadn’t done much except make you a little more giggly and talkative. you were a little tipsy, that was all. 

throughout the night, tzuyu and dahyun exchange glances, their eyes meeting repeatedly, dahyuns hand rubbing tzuyu’s thigh, and the little smiles they give each other. all of it doesn’t go unnoticed – at least by you – and hints at the potential for something you don’t want to think of in detail once they return home.  

as you observe their subtle interactions, a pang of envy stirs within you, longing for that same allure and anticipation. amidst the swirling emotions, a sense of emptiness creeps in, amplified by the beers you’ve had. you're left to ponder on what’s making you feel hollow, still feeling bad after raising your voice at sana earlier. 

you can’t feel bad, you shouldn’t. whatever you did wasn’t comparable to her practically pretending you didn’t exist for almost two years. 

after rolling your eyes and saying some stupid joke to dahyun and tzuyu – the last to leave the house – you head back to the basement.  

of course, sana had to be sitting on the couch, head turned towards the tv as she sipped on a beer.  

“hey.” you mutter, earning her attention as she turns away from the christmas movie you paused earlier. 

“hi.” sana greets. 

every ounce of anger, irritation, and dread had been squeezed out your body at the sight of her. you genuinely think it’s the alcohol that’s making you rethink everything, making it hard to fight back that voice in your head that’s trying to stay reserved and petty. 

sana sits there, her gaze fixed on you with intensity. her glasses are perched on her nose, a familiar sight whenever she's engrossed in watching tv or anything like that. the sight only adds to her charm, making her look even more adorable. you can't help but notice her favorite cardigan draped over her shoulders – the fluffy, white knit cardigan she adores so much –it's a cherished gift from your mother, and she's held onto it all these years. her eyes bore into yours, drilling into your skull and compelling you to plop down beside her as if nothing had ever transpired between you. you surrender, maybe it’s the late hours of the night, maybe the beer, o rmaybe just sana. 

(it’s probably just sana.) 

she turns back to the movie playing, some stupid romcom jaehyun had put on as background noise. 

your eyes trace the curve of her nose, lingering on her lips and the impeccable contour of her jawline as she remains fixated on the tv screen. her side profile captivates you for a moment, holding you in some sort of spell until she breaks the silence with her soft voice. 

“i think our parents are playing card games in the kitchen.”  

“probably betting money too.” 

“remember when your dad took your christmas money for their game?” sana asks, giggling at the memory. her eyes are still fixed on the screen, you decide to tune into the movie too. “didn’t he lose too?” 

“yeah.” you sigh, sinking into the couch. “he paid me back double the next day though.” 

“so it was worth it?” 

“yeah, i think we went out to eat with that money.” 

sana turns to gaze at you, her eyes tracing the soft contours of your profile in the dimly lit room. the glow from the tv accentuates her favorite features of yours, and she finds herself lost in the sight before her. for a while, she simply stares, allowing the comfortable silence to envelop the moment.  

you turn to look at her now, you two just stare at each other for a while more. 

“maybe we can try again.” you mumble, giving into the beauty in front of you. “every part of me is against the idea.” 

“that’s understandable.” sana agrees. she sighs before adding, “you don’t have to try again.” 

“i know.” you assure, “but i think we should.” 

“i’m sorry.” 

“i know, sana.”  

as the music from the tv fills the room, silence once again settles between you and sana. you know that you can't let this opportunity slip away – it's everything you've wanted, and deep down, you realize it's everything you've needed too.  

there's a mistletoe that’s hung above the two of you, it’s been there the whole time, both of you were aware of it. it dangles from the light tantalizingly, but neither of you do anything about it. neither you or sana even mention it. your mind races to the memory of dahyun and tzuyu kissing each other under it and part of you wants to kiss sana like that, but you won’t let her kiss and make up. 

you reach out, your fingers gently intertwining with hers. you lift her hand to your lips, feeling the warmth of her skin against your own. softly, you press a kiss upon the back of her hand, you linger in the intimacy of the gesture. 

the two of you sit there for a moment, letting the world around you two fade away. 

everything about the moment renders you weak. you think to yourself that maybe, just maybe, a second chance is enough to patch things up. if it’s with sana, then maybe it’s worth it. 

[beomesque]

𝑳𝒊𝒌𝒆 𝑰 𝒏𝒆𝒆𝒅 𝒚𝒐𝒖-𝑪.𝒃𝒆𝒐𝒎𝒈𝒚𝒖

genre: drabble, fluff, angst, exes back to lovers, kissing

wc: 600 approx

note: my fav work, repost. also fuck i cried in the end

You are wondering why he has to appear at your house, just to open the wounds which haven't healed yet.

"How have you been?" You ask the boy sitting across the couch. "Hm.. tough question y/n. It has been painful" He says averting his shaky eyes.

The air in the room suddenly feels heavy. Enough to even shrink your sighs. "I thought you'd be having a blast without me"

"I was wrong" He admits pretty quickly.

Another moment of silence later, you went to your bedroom to find the things he came here to get. You pull out 3 hoodies from your front drawer one by one. You didn't notice him coming to stand behind you. "Oh.." You get startled at the close proximity and take a step to the left hastily. "Sorry" He says for making you uncomfortable.

"I didn't know you have three of them. I was only looking for two" He points to the clothes you're holding. "They were quite comfortable" Both of your lips form into a smile

"You are still wearing them" He eyes the earrings you're wearing, his gift to you from ages ago.

"What?" You get confused. You are so used to wearing them, it became a habit.

"The earrings.. " His fingers faintly touch your ears to make you spot them.

"Ah this" You place your hands on them after he takes his away. "I forgot ..to take them off"

This sentence alone left his heart crippled.

"I have the chime we bought together at home. I'll send it over" He says.

"You can keep them. I don't have any use of it now" You say with a hidden guilt dawning on your face. No, it means a lot to you. It was on a snowy day, you were holding his hands. Having the best time of your life buying things for your shared apartment with him when you bought that chime. The memories are still fresh inside your heart. But you don't want to reminisce them. It'll only make it hard for you to forget him.

Yours words make him swallow a gulp that is formed in his throat by trying not to cry. "I'll take my leave. Thank you for everything" He takes the hoodies from your hands and walks over to the exit.

You realize he's not going to come again. Your time with him has offcially ended. Why are you still hesitating to let him go? You stare at him while he puts on his shoes. Before he could reach the doorknob, your hand tugs on his white t-shirt. He exchanges surprised gazes with you. The way you're tucking a wild strand of your hair back, your feet tapped on the floor, your palm is later clenched into a fist. He could read you like a book. You needed him, now.

He pats your head slowly, it feels like a parting gift. You could see him pouting, eyes on the verge of tears. Why did you two have to end it, only to chase it again?

You closed your eyes. Perhaps you couldn't endure this sight. He couldn't resist it anymore. It might be a nonsense move, but he kissed you on the lips. You were a little bit shocked, but it felt so right. He.. felt so right. The craving came rushing in. Your hand found its way on his neck. His, putting the hoodies on the shoe rack. Found your warm cheeks.

He pulled you closer, it's not close enough to the yearning you two experienced being apart all these time. His plush lips melted into yours. Still a bit dry, which only makes you make it more wet. Breathless kisses turned into a vague dream. Between the lining of touch starvation & crave. You lingered in his presence. Questioning, why must he leave you again. If he does, how much of a mess you'll become. Hesitating, as your cold fingertips digs under his shirt. Pursuading, it's one last time.

Much to your dismay, he says something he shouldn't have. "I want us back" He hums into the kiss. People shouldn't make promises they can't fulfil.

taglist: no one cuz its a repost!

Send an ask if you want to be in the taglist :)

©️beomesque [Do not copy, repost or translate any of my works]

[lila-lou]

✨ His only exception - Pt. 21/? ✨

Summary: 12 months ago, Butcher went above and beyond to have you join his team. You had a simple office job at Supe Affairs. The same thing every day, working from 9 to 5 and watching Butcher and his team defeat one renegade after another. One evening, however, something changed.

Pairing: Soldier Boy x Reader

Warnings: Language, angst, hurt

Word Count: 3377

A/N: This is part 21 of “His only exeption”.

English isn’t my first language, so please be lenient. 💙✨

As you stood there in the bathroom, staring at your reflection, the tumult of emotions swirling within you threatened to overwhelm you. Jay's presence in your life had brought moments of joy and comfort, but now faced with the prospect of intimacy, you found yourself grappling with feelings you hadn't fully acknowledged.

Your mind wandered back to Ben, his absence palpable yet his memory hauntingly present. Could you truly move forward with someone else, knowing the lingering shadow of Ben hung over you?

The sound of Jay's voice outside the bathroom door broke through your reverie, a reminder of the present moment and the person waiting on the other side. Part of you longed to confide in him, to share the inner turmoil consuming you, but another part hesitated, fearing his reaction and the potential fallout of your honesty.

"Hey, are you sure you're okay?". His tone was gentle, laced with concern. "You seem… off. Is there something you want to talk about?".

You hesitated, the weight of his words sinking in. Jay's genuine concern only served to amplify the turmoil within you. How could you explain the maelstrom of emotions churning inside your chest without delving into the depths of your past?

"I'm… I'm fine", you replied, your voice betraying a hint of uncertainty. "Just… dealing with some things".

There was a moment of silence before Jay spoke again, his tone softer now, filled with understanding. "You know you can talk to me, right? Whatever it is, I'm here for you".

His words tugged at something deep within you, a flicker of hope amidst the chaos.

"I know", you murmured. "I just… need some time to sort things out".

You stepped out of the bathroom, your eyes red.

"C´mere", he whispered.

Feeling Jay’s arms envelop you in a comforting embrace, you let out a shaky breath, momentarily finding solace in his warmth. But his next words shattered the fragile calm that had settled over you.

“I just… I can’t shake this feeling”, Jay murmured, his voice barely above a whisper as he held you close. “It’s like… I’m all in, you know? But sometimes it feels like you’re… not as committed to this as I am. I know we haven't been together that long, but it feels like you don't really want the whole thing”.

His words hung heavy in the air, a weighty reminder of the unspoken tensions simmering beneath the surface of your relationship. You swallowed hard, the guilt of withholding your true feelings threatening to suffocate you.

“I’m sorry”, you whispered, your voice tinged with regret. “I don’t mean to make you feel that way. It’s just… complicated”.

Jay pulled back slightly, his gaze searching yours for answers. “Complicated how?”, he asked, his tone a mixture of curiosity and apprehension.

You hesitated, unsure of how much to reveal. But as you met his gaze, the sincerity in his eyes urged you to be honest.

“There’s… someone else”, you confessed, the words tumbling out in a rush. “Was someone else, I… I don´t know. It´s someone from my… past, I guess. And I… I’m still trying to figure out what that means for me… for us”.

Jay’s expression faltered, a flicker of hurt crossing his features before he masked it with a forced smile. “I see”, he said quietly, though his eyes betrayed the turmoil within. “I guess I always knew there was something more”.

You reached out to touch his arm, a silent plea for understanding. “It’s not that I don’t care about you”, you insisted, your voice trembling with emotion. “It’s just… complicated”.

For a moment, neither of you spoke, the weight of your confession hanging heavily between you.

Feeling Jay’s gaze fixed on you, you took a deep breath, steeling yourself to share a glimpse of the tangled web that had ensnared your heart.

“We had… a connection, a deep one. But things didn’t end well”.

Jay listened intently, his expression a mix of concern and curiosity as he leaned back against the wall, his eyes never leaving yours.

“And now”, you whispered, the words barely “now I’m here, with you. But… but part of me still feels tied to him, to what we had”.

Jay looked down at you, his gaze searching yours with a mixture of compassion and uncertainty.

"Are you sure you're ready for a new relationship?", he asked. "I mean, if part of you still feels tied to him… it's okay to take more time to figure things out".

Your heart ached at his words, the truth of his question hitting you with a force you hadn't anticipated. Were you truly ready to move on, to fully commit to a new relationship?

You shrugged, unable to meet Jay's gaze as a pang of guilt washed over you. "I don't know", you admitted. "I want to be, but… it's hard".

A flicker of hurt crossed Jay's features at your words, his shoulders slumping slightly as he struggled to mask his disappointment. "I understand", he said quietly, though the pain in his eyes betrayed the depth of his feelings. "I just… I want you to be happy, whatever that means for you… for us".

Tears welled in your eyes as you reached out to him, desperate to ease the ache you had caused. "I'm sorry", you whispered, your voice choked with emotion. "I don't want to hurt you".

Jay enveloped you again in a gentle embrace, holding you close as if trying to shield you from the pain of your own indecision. "It's okay", he murmured against your hair, his voice filled with a quiet resignation. "We'll figure it out together, okay?".

And as you clung to him, the weight of your uncertainty pressing down on you.

With everything swirling in your mind, you felt as though you were losing yourself in the chaos. The person you once knew, the one who had made promises and believed in love, seemed like a distant memory now.

After letting yourself in with Ben, you were pretending to be someone you weren't. And now, with Jay, you had thrown yourself into a new relationship, hoping to find solace in his kindness and affection. But in the process, you were hurting him, and the realization cut you to the core.

As Jay held you close, offering comfort and understanding despite the turmoil within you, you couldn't shake the feeling of guilt gnawing at your insides. How could you continue to deceive him, to pretend that everything was fine when you were barely holding yourself together?

More tears welled in your eyes as you buried your face in Jay's chest, seeking refuge from the storm raging within you. "I don't know who I am anymore", you confessed, your voice trembling with emotion.

Jay held you tighter, his own heart heavy with the weight of your pain. "It's okay", he whispered, his voice filled with compassion. "We'll figure it out together. Just… be honest with me, okay? That's all I ask".

You nodded against his chest.

Jay held you close, his arms a comforting embrace as he gently brushed his hand over your back, soothing the ache that had settled deep within you.

"Hey", he murmured softly, his voice a gentle caress against your ear. "When was the last time you visited your mom, or your family? Or at least met with some friends?".

His question hung in the air, a stark reminder of the isolation that had gradually encroached upon your life in recent weeks. You thought back, trying to recall the last time you had reached out to anyone outside of your interactions with Jay, but the memory eluded you.

"I… I don't know", you admitted. "It's been a while. I've been so caught up in everything… I guess I lost track of time".

Jay's embrace tightened slightly, a silent acknowledgment of the loneliness that had crept into your life unnoticed. "Maybe… maybe it's time to reach out to them. They care about you, you know?".

Again you nodded against his chest, the weight of his words sinking in.

Jay pressed a tender kiss to the top of your head. "Come on", he said softly, his voice tender as he gently pulled away from your embrace. "Let's go back to the living room".

As you settled back onto the couch, Jay wrapped his arms around you once more, pulling you close as if to reassure himself of your presence. His touch was gentle, yet persistent, as he continued to brush his hand over your arm in a comforting gesture.

With each stroke, a sense of calm washed over you, the weight of your worries momentarily lifted by Jay's unwavering affection. Just like it has been for the last few weeks.

As you nestled into his embrace, Jay let out a soft sigh, his voice barely above a whisper as he spoke.

"I think… I think you need to figure out your feelings", he murmured, his words tinged with a hint of uncertainty. "I don't want to push you into anything, but… I really like you. And… and I do not want to lose you. Whether as a girlfriend or just a friend".

His admission hung in the air, a vulnerable confession of his own desires and fears. You turned to look at him, finding solace in the warmth of his gaze as he continued.

"So maybe… maybe we can take it slow", Jay suggested, his voice tentative yet hopeful. "We don't have to rush into anything. We can just… see where things go".

His words resonated within you, a gentle reminder that healing and growth often came with time and patience. You nodded in agreement, a sense of relief washing over you as you leaned into his embrace.

"Thank you", you whispered, your voice filled with gratitude. "For understanding".

Jay smiled softly, his fingers kept tracing soothing circles on your arm. "Always", he replied. "I'm here for you, no matter what".

In the days that followed, Jay and you spent countless hours talking, sharing stories, and getting to know each other on a deeper level. His presence became a source of comfort and stability, grounding you in the midst of uncertainty.

With each conversation, you felt pieces of yourself falling back into place, like a puzzle slowly being reassembled. Jay's patience and understanding gave you the space to explore your feelings and rediscover the person you once were.

One day, feeling a newfound sense of confidence and belonging, you suggested visiting the team again. Jay readily agreed, eager to meet the people who had played such a significant role in your life.

After introducing Jay to the others, everyone told you about the latest events, gave you an update on Homelander, and told you what it was like in the executive suite at Vought. Despite the distance and time apart, the bond you shared with them remained as strong as ever.

As the evening stretched on, you found yourselves gathered at a cozy bar with Hughie, Annie and Jay. Annie told you about her temporary leading position at vought.

You listened with admiration as she described the challenges and triumphs of her new role, marveling at her resilience and determination. Despite the pressures she faced, Annie seemed to thrive in the leadership position.

Meanwhile, Jay struck up a conversation with Hughie, the two of them quickly hitting it off. They exchanged stories and shared laughs, bonding over their mutual interests and experiences. You watched with a smile as Jay's easygoing charm drew Hughie out of his shell, the two of them becoming fast friends.

After a while, Annie led you to the bar to get some new drinks, the lively chatter of Hughie and Jay faded into the background, leaving you alone with your thoughts. As you waited for the bartender to take your order, Annie leaned in, her voice low and conspiratorial.

"So, what's the deal with you and Jay?", she asked, a mischievous glint in her eye. "I have to say, I really like him. You've definitely hit a good one".

You smiled weakly, grateful for Annie's support but unable to shake the weight of your own uncertainty. "He's great", you admitted, your voice tinged with hesitation. "But… I'm still trying to figure things out".

Annie nodded in understanding, her expression sympathetic. "I get it", she said softly. "But just know that Jay really cares about you. And if anyone can help you through whatever you're going through, it's him".

You sighed, the weight of her words settling heavily on your shoulders. "I know", you murmured, a pang of guilt tugging at your heart. "I just wish things weren't so… complicated".

Annie let out a sigh, her frustration evident as she leaned in closer, her voice tinged with exasperation.

“You need to forget about Ben”, she insisted, her tone firm. “He’s not worth your time or your heartache. You have someone amazing right in front of you, someone who genuinely cares about you”.

You nodded, knowing deep down that Annie was right. But as much as you wanted to let go, the pull of your feelings for Ben remained stubbornly strong.

“I know”, you replied softly, your voice filled with resignation. “But it’s not that easy. Ben… he made me feel things no one else ever could, or ever will”.

Annie rolled her eyes, her disdain for Ben evident in the way her lips curled into a frown. “Yeah, well, he was also a huge dick most of the time”, she muttered under her breath.

You couldn’t help but chuckle weakly at her bluntness. “That’s true”, you admitted with a rueful smile. “But despite everything, there was still something about him…”.

Annie shook her head, her frustration evident as she reached out to squeeze your hand in a gesture of support. “But you deserve someone who treats you right”.

You took a deep breath, steeling yourself for the difficult conversation ahead. "I know Ben wasn't always ideal", you began, your voice tinged with emotion. "But he… he literally risked his life for me so many times… We, he, was special. We had something special".

"If there was really something special, he wouldn't have just left", she said bluntly, her words hitting you like a punch to the gut.

The truth in Annie's words cut deep, stirring up a whirlwind of conflicting emotions within you. You knew she was right, that Ben's departure had left a gaping hole in your heart that seemed impossible to fill. But despite the pain, a part of you couldn't let go of the memories, the moments of connection and intimacy that had once brought you so much joy.

Tears welled in your eyes as you struggled to find the words to respond."But… it's not that simple…".

Annie reached out to you, her touch gentle as she wiped away your tears. "I'm sorry", she said softly, her voice filled with empathy. "I didn't mean to hurt you. I just want you to be happy, that's all".

As you walked back to the table with Annie by your side, you couldn't shake the weight of her words echoing in your mind. With a heavy heart, you stole a glance at her, a silent plea for comfort and understanding.

"He didn't even say goodbye", you mumbled, the bitterness of the truth lingering on your tongue.

"He's just an asshole", she said, her tone leaving no room for argument.

"But he… had his reasons", you replied quietly, thinking about russia, though even you weren't entirely convinced by your own words.

Annie shook her head, her frustration evident as she linked her arm with yours. "Maybe", she conceded, her voice softening. "But that doesn't excuse the way he treated you. You deserve better than that".

In the apartment, Butcher, MM and Frenchie sat in tense silence, each lost in their own thoughts.

Frenchie shifted uncomfortably in his seat, his brow furrowed with worry. “I don’t like lying to (y/n)”, he muttered under his breath, his voice tinged with guilt.

Butcher let out a frustrated groan, his frustration palpable in the air. “If (y/n) knew we had captured Soldier Boy, she’d be on the next flight to free him”, he grumbled, his tone laced with bitterness.

MM glanced between his companions, his expression grave. “We can’t risk it”, he said firmly, his voice a quiet reminder of the stakes at hand.

Frenchie let out a frustrated grunt, his unease bubbling to the surface. "If that ever comes out, (y/n) will hate us all", he muttered.

Butcher's jaw tightened at the thought, his frustration boiling over into anger. "She won't find out", he snapped, his tone harsh and uncompromising. "No one is spilling the beans, understand?".

MM nodded in agreement, his expression solemn as he met Butcher's steely gaze. "We'll keep our mouths shut", he affirmed. "He wasn't good for her, Frenchie. He just used her".

But Frenchie shook his head adamantly, his brow furrowed with disagreement. "I don't think so", he interjected, his voice firm with conviction. "I think he really did love her".

Butcher scoffed at Frenchie's assertion, his skepticism evident in the way he narrowed his eyes. "Love? That's a load of rubbish", he retorted, his tone dismissive. "He's a bloody supe, Frenchie. They don't know the first thing about love".

Frenchie bristled at Butcher's words. "Clearly you didn't see the way he looked at her", he countered. "There was something real there, I'm telling you".

MM glanced between Butcher and Frenchie, a troubled expression crossing his features. "Maybe", he conceded reluctantly. "But even if he did love her, it doesn't change the fact that he's a liability now. We can't afford to have him jeopardize us".

Turning back towards Annie, you couldn't shake the nagging question that had been gnawing at the back of your mind. "But don't you think it's strange he didn't even say goodbye?", you asked, your voice tinged with uncertainty. "I mean, we were kinda friends, right?".

Annie raised a skeptical eyebrow, her expression incredulous. "Friends?", she echoed, her tone laced with disbelief. "You're for real, (y/n)?".

You flushed slightly, taken aback by Annie's reaction. "Well, maybe not friends exactly," you admitted sheepishly. "But we… we had something".

Until now, you hadn't told anyone how much had actually happened between you and Ben, even if everyone could already guess.

Annie let out a sigh, her frustration evident as she shook her head. "I don't know what you had with Ben", she replied, her tone softer now. "But whatever it was, it's over now. You deserve better than someone who would just up and leave without a word".

Despite your best efforts to move forward, being back with the team brought a flood of emotions rushing back, intensifying the ache of missing Ben. Every corner of the room seemed to whisper his name, every familiar face a bittersweet reminder of the bond you had shared.

You found yourself lost in memories, replaying moments spent with Ben in your mind like a broken record. His absence felt like a gaping hole in the fabric of your reality, a void that no amount of distraction could fill.

And as you navigated through the days, the longing for Ben weighed heavily on your heart, casting a shadow over even the most joyous moments. Despite the passage of time, the pain of his absence remained raw and unyielding.

And as you struggled to reconcile the past with the present, you couldn't shake the feeling that despite your best efforts, you were still trapped in a cycle of longing and loss.

———————————

A/N: I hope this chapter makes you feel a little better :D There's still so much planned guys, just wait. Please let me know what you think.🥰

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Part 22

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Taglist: @deangirl96, @thatgirljayy, @suckitands33, @deans-spinster-witch@mimaria420@kaz11283@uncle-eggy @jackles010378 @vxnilla-hxrddrugs @meowmeowyoongles @sarahgracej @zemosdarling228 @leila22rogers @mostlymarvelgirl @emily-winchester @blacknoirr @onlyangel-444 @seasonofthenerd @staple-your-mouth @artemys-ackles @selfdestructionandrhum @mystic-mara

[bonkwosher]

Our Little Secret

A/N: The movie isn't out anywhere I can watch it over & over yet so I'm going off of memory from the one time I saw it in theatres. Maybe I'll come back & edit this, who knows?

Pairing(s): "Frank" (Former Detective Adam Barnett) x Reader (Nickname: Parker)

Mini Synopsis: The reader & Frank unknowingly get the same job after years of not seeing each other.

Contains: Mentions of character death, things get a little hot

Lambert had just finished explaining the situation to the seven of you, giving each of you a name, yours being Parker. No one knew each other, at least as far as you knew. You were in different cars initially & after the group got together in the getaway car, it was impossible to recognize the man with all your masks on. But once Joey took the girl off to another room & everyone had taken their masks off, you recognized him. As Frank looked around at the beautiful, old mansion, his eyes wandered. His eyes glanced over you for a moment then kept moving, but quickly snapped back to your form. His eyes had only slightly widened, he was doing well to mask his shock. He started walking towards you, briskly, reaching out to touch you as if to test if you were real.

Before he could make it to you, you felt an arm wrap around you shoulders. It was Sammy, "Hey, Parker. Let's get to the bar. Didn't you hear? Fully stocked!"

Sammy was someone you became acquainted with, getting Dean off her back while the three of you were in the getaway van. She dragged you off to the bar, getting between you & Frank. The rest of the group followed along with you. Frank felt he couldn't get close to you without risking his identity being revealed. He just stood in the corner keeping up conversation. After Joey finished reading everyone like a book, she ended up in front of you.

"Oh, no, no, no. I don't need you to tell me what I am," you spoke, waving your hands in front of you.

Frank's eyes narrowed as he stared at you.

"Oh, come on, Parker! Join the fun!" Peter teased, giving you a light shove.

"No, Joey has to go check on the girl anyway. Right?" You were quick to reply.

"Yeah, Joey. You should get up there," Frank chimed in, only letting his eyes leave you for a second to make eye contact with the person he was talking to.

Joey puts her hands up, backing away from you, "Alright, off I go."

Joey made her way out of the room & everyone went off to do their own thing. Sammy & Dean left the room separately. Peter found himself some more alcohol & a comfortable spot on the couch. Rickles headed up to his lookout spot. That left you, Dan, & an already very drunk Peter in the bar area. You decided to head to the kitchen, knowing it wasn't a good idea to drink on an empty stomach. You walked out into the main entrance, unaware of the quiet footsteps following you. You made your way down a long narrow hallway, your assailant only gaining on you. As you reached a t-junction, you paused to look to your left. At that moment, you felt a hand cover your mouth & an arm wrap around your waist. You were pulled forcefully down the hallway to your right & quickly shoved you into a hall closet. You were quickly spun around to face your captor but their hand was just as quick to find it's way back onto your mouth. You saw him.

"What're you doing here, Y/N?" He sounded almost mad, but mostly in shock.

You just looked up at him, scared. His hand still held a tight grip on your mouth despite him waiting for you to answer his question. It seems that he realized that, loosening the grip before releasing your face. Your hands moved to your jaw, feeling the pain of his hold finally going away.

Almost impatiently, Frank pushed, "I saw you die!"

You lifted your finger to your mouth, urging him to be quiet. As you straightened your posture & looked up at the man, a small smirk formed.

"You think I couldn't fake my own death? That's all I helped others do. I'm the intel person, it's my job, Adam."

At the thought of his true identity being revealed, his hands found themselves close to covering your mouth again. But his need for answers overpowered any fear he had.

"You were my partner! Why did you do all that without... telling me?"

You sighed, "Some cops were catching on to my side gig. Plus, helping people disappear was so much more lucrative. The only safe way out of the precinct was to disappear myself."

Frank gave you a look, you knew it well.

"Don't even attempt to judge me. We're both here now, which means you ended up a criminal too."

Frank's eyes softened, you were right after all. You were both detectives once yet you both stood in this house waiting to get paid for kidnapping a 12-year-old girl. Now that he had gotten the information he wanted he began to feel a little awkward. Past feelings flooded his mind. He remembered the night you died, or so he thought. You were chasing a suspect & the suspect managed to shoot you before continuing to run away. Frank had stopped to try to help you but you told him to go after the suspect. He wanted to hold you in that moment, be with you, but you made him go. He never got to share his feelings.

"Y/N," He spoke softly, "I have something to say... that I never thought I'd have the chance to."

"Go ahead, then get me out of this closet."

"I-" He tried to speak, but a long pause filled the air.

Without hesitation, he grabbed hold of the sides of your face & pulled you to him. His lips crashed into yours. It was unexpected, but you'd be lying if you said you hadn't been dreaming of this moment. You threw your arms around the tall man's shoulders & pulled him even closer to you. Frank backed you into the wall, towering over you as he moved to kiss down your neck. You stifle a moan as he tugs at your jacket, trying to get the buttons undone. You two are torn apart when the closet door opens, followed by laughter.

"Woah, didn't mean to interrupt, lovebirds," Dean continues to laugh.

Of course, it was Dean. You fix the buttons on your shirt as Frank steps out of the closet, shoving Dean.

"What are you doing you idiot? Jealous you couldn't get with Sammy so you're snooping around trying to ruin the rest of our nights?"

Once you fixed your jacket, you joined the two outside, "Just get out of here, Dean."

"Fine, fine, get an actual room this time," Dean ran off towards the kitchen, continuing to laugh his ass off.

You turned to Frank, tempted to continue the makeout session. But soon you heard Joey storm down the stairs, calling out for Frank. Frank sighed & headed off towards the main entrance once more. Before he could get far, you grabbed his jacket lapel, pulling him to look at you.

"No one can know that we know each other, Frank," you emphasized the name that Lambert gave him.

Frank gave you a sly smirk, "That'll be our little secret."

[aviiarie]

♡ — GENSHIN GIRLS AS CHAPPELL ROAN SONGS !

cws & notes. no warnings. various genshin girls x fem!reader. 750+ words. they're all sapphic in my heart. if you like this you might enjoy my good luck babe! inspired furina fic :D

— FURINA ◞ good luck babe!

she can't call it love. the word is on the edge of her lips, lingering on her tongue, but she never speaks it out loud. she just wants to keep things the way they are, keep you close to her without that word hanging over her head. it's nothing serious, so why bother to call it anything at all? she'll ignore the way her heart flutters and her head spins as long as it takes to keep you by her side.

but it isn't enough, is it? because you leave anyway, and she is left with the shadow of your figure chasing the corners of her memory for the rest of her life. in the years to come, she will forget your favourite colour and the way your lips tasted, but she'll always be haunted by the echo of your voice sounding in her head: 'i told you so.'

— CHIORI ◞ red wine supernova

falling in love with you is like falling into a supernova. she was never too interested in pursuing love on her own, but with you, she just seemed to fall into it so easily. it was like you were a star, burning brighter and hotter than the sun, filling her days and nights with light. when she kisses you, she can almost feel fire spark against her lips, like your touch is enough to ignite. it's almost overwhelming, the amount of emotions that brew so quickly, but that doesn't chase away the thrill.

there's something that's so bright about you it's almost blinding. your smile sends her heart beating a mile a minute, your words make her brain fry. no one else has ever made her feel so much that it almost scares her. but if this was love then she would gladly let herself fall for you.

— NAVIA ◞ casual

hearing you call it 'casual' kills her. she smiles and laughs it off, like it's all light-hearted, pretending you're just teasing. it's easy to pretend, to close her eyes and picture the two of you moving into the same apartment, dancing in the kitchen like a couple in a cheesy romcom. it hurts, every time you remind her not to get attached. can't you see she already has, already is? can't you see the adoration in her eyes? can't you see how much she is in love with you? nothing about you is casual, but she bit her tongue until it bled and held back her tears.

she's sick of it. after all the nights of tears she shed, after everything you've been through together, if you won't call it what it was, then she would. she doesn't care what your friends say, anything is better than calling it casual. she's done with letting herself be stifled, letting her love be wasted. she's sick of hating herself. call it casual all you want, she knows the truth and she'll make sure everyone else does too.

— YELAN ◞ super graphic ultra modern girl

she can't deal with another cheap date with a man who doesn't care about her. what she needs someone refreshing, someone fun. she needs a girl who is as dazzling and exciting as she is, someone who can keep her on her feet and send her heart racing. no more wasting perfectly good friday nights on guys who didn't have a single interesting bone in their body, she's after something new.

and that's you. you, who arrived in her life like a firework and continued to crackle and spark ever since. she's transfixed by you, the way you move, the way you speak, the way you laugh. every part of you is mesmerizing, and she can't seem to tear her eyes away.

— KOKOMI ◞ kaleidoscope

it's impossible to describe what you meant to her. there weren't enough words in the dictionary to explain how she felt, not enough colours in the rainbow to paint every shade of love that filtered through her vision when she looked at you. and yet now she was left with a painful monochrome, missing the one person she loved more than anything else in the world.

she's not going to make you stay. she cares about you too much for that. and she'll never fault you is you end up falling in love with someone who isn't her, but part of her does break every time she thinks of it. she doesn't know how love works, it's a mystery to the both of you. but she knows she loves you, and that has to count for something.

© aviiarie 2024. do not copy, repost, translate or use my work to train ai

[alessiasfreckles]

amnesia - part 8 (ona batlle x alexia putellas x reader)

part 1 / part 2 / part 3 / part 4 / part 5 / part 6 / part 7

a/n: sorry guys, had to repost this one due to an issue with the title! anyway, when are these girls going to learn how to communicate??

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“Do you want to do something with Ale tonight, the three of us? I don’t think you’re ready to go out yet, but we can celebrate your leg finally being free,” Ona suggested as the two of you walked out of the hospital. You still had crutches, but the cast had been taken off, and it felt like your leg could breathe again. 

“That sounds great!” you smiled. Ona had barely mentioned the captain since you’d brought her up in conversation just a couple days ago, and you weren’t sure if she had been upset about Alexia’s feelings towards you, but clearly it couldn’t be too bad if she was suggesting doing something together. Plus, you missed the blonde - it had been a while since you’d seen her, if you didn’t count all the times you’d looked her up online.

“What do you want to do? We could stay in, or go out, I guess,” Ona trailed off, looking at your leg uncertainly.

“Go out! Please, for the love of god, I cannot take being cooped up in my apartment any more. It’s bad enough not being able to play football, but not being able to go out much has been killing me,” you implored, eyes wide, and Ona laughed. 

“Okay, okay, we’ll go out. Nothing too crazy, though. There’s a nice restaurant in your neighbourhood we used to go to, we can go there,” she said.

That’s how you found yourself sat between the two women in a booth tucked away at the back of a local restaurant and bar. It was busy, but you supposed it was a Friday night, and it really did feel good to be amongst people instead of in your apartment. 

Something was… off, however. You weren’t sure what it was exactly, but the vibes were slightly strange, like the air was vibrating. You figured that maybe you were just so not used to being around so many people anymore and tried to brush it off. 

“How was training today?” you asked during a lull in the conversation. Glancing down at your drink, you didn’t notice the way Alexia’s and Ona’s eyes met across the table.

“Good,” Alexia said smoothly. “We all miss you, though. Are you looking forward to coming back next week?”

“I won’t be back, not properly,” you grumbled. “I’ll just be there for physio and occupational therapy.”

“You’ll be there, though! It’ll be nice to have you around again,” Alexia smiled warmly at you, resting a hand on your shoulder for just a brief second. 

“I guess,” you said, feeling your cheeks warm up a little. 

“Si, the three of us again, it’ll be just like old times,” Ona added. 

“Old times? Were the three of us together a lot?” you asked, frowning. You knew that you were close with both of them, but you’d assumed that when you and Ona started dating, Alexia would have felt awkward being around the both of you and would have hung back a little. 

“Oh yeah, we were inseparable,” she said, resting an arm on your shoulders. You stiffened slightly under the touch, but Ona didn’t seem to notice. “We were always together. The girls on the team used to joke about all three of us dating, not just you and me.”

“Huh.” Leaning away from Ona’s arm, you moved to get up. “I’m just going to go to the bathroom, I’ll be right back.”

Once you were in the bathroom with the door locked behind you, you let out a sigh. Splashing water onto your face, you frowned at your reflection in the mirror. You felt weird. Things felt different. Ona was behaving strangely, much more jovial than she had been the past few days, and you felt a flash of irritation. She was behaving like nothing had happened, like you hadn’t been in a coma, like you hadn’t lost your memories, like she hadn’t lied to you. And then there were your feelings about Alexia, which you were still confused about. Frustration about the whole situation bubbled up inside you, and you splashed cold water onto your face again, trying to calm down. 

“What are you doing?” Alexia hissed as soon as the bathroom door swung closed behind you. 

“What do you mean?” Ona asked. 

“You’re acting weird - you’re being way too casual about this, you’re pushing it too hard and too fast!” the blonde said, keeping her voice quiet, as if she was worried you’d hear. “Look, we said we would slowly introduce her to the idea, maybe let her think of it herself. We’re just meant to be making small suggestions, comments, that kind of thing - not telling her that people thought all three of us were dating!”

Ona scowled, not wanting to admit that maybe Alexia was right, that maybe she had been laying it on a little too thick. “We have to make it obvious enough, though, otherwise she won’t even notice it!”

“Of course she will! She’s not stupid, Oni,” Alexia frowned.

“Who’s not stupid?” you asked, appearing from behind the booth. It looked as though the two had been deep in conversation when you left the bathroom, and as you approached the table you heard Alexia’s statement.

“Oh, no one!” Ona said quickly, before Alexia even had a chance to open her mouth. You narrowed your eyes slightly, the speed at which she spoke not doing her any favours. 

“Right…,” you trailed off. So, Ona thought you were stupid. Great. You sat back down between the two, but this time you stayed just out of Ona’s reach. 

“Y/N, how have you been feeling, now that you’ve been home and out of the hospital for a week?” Alexia asked.

“Um, okay, I guess. It’s been a lot,” you admitted, grateful for the change in topic. “I’ve felt a bit overwhelmed sometimes. And I’m frustrated that I don’t remember more, I feel like I should.”

“It’ll come, with time,” Alexia said, placing a hand on your knee. It was warm, comforting. “And if not, we’ll do our best to fill your mind with new memories, isn’t that right, Oni?”

“Yes!” the brunette nodded emphatically. “We can make all kinds of new memories!”

“Thanks, guys,” you gave them both a small smile. 

“How about I get us some drinks?” Alexia suggested, standing up. “I’ll be right back.”

As you watched Alexia head towards the bar, Ona hummed thoughtfully.

“Ale looks really good tonight, don’t you think?” she asked.

“Hm?” your eyes flew to Ona, hoping she wouldn’t be able to notice the way your cheeks were flushing rapidly in the dim lighting. “Oh, um yeah, I- I guess?”

“You guess?” Ona let out a gentle laugh, looking over at you. “Please, she’s gorgeous, we all know it. And I thought you said you wrote something similar in your journal?”

“Oh, I, yeah, she,” you stumbled over your words, Ona’s teasing tone catching you off guard. It hadn’t even seemed like she was listening when you’d told her about that. 

The brunette leant in close to you, her hand on your thigh. “Are you blushing, bebé?”

“What- no!” you abruptly moved away from her, letting her hand fall to the seat. What the hell was she doing? Why was she even talking about this?

“It’s okay if you are, you know,” she mused, as if you hadn’t even said anything. “I’d understand if you still had a little crush on her. Who wouldn’t?”

That was enough. Your heart pounding, blood roaring in your ears, you stood up. “I need some air.”

You left the restaurant as fast as you could with one bad leg. You didn’t even notice Alexia leaving the drinks at the bar to follow you outside, and jumped when she put a hand on your shoulder. 

“Chiqui, are you alright? What’s going on?” she asked, her calm voice grounding you.

“Yes, I- no, I don’t know!” you groaned, putting your head in your hands. You didn’t understand what the fuck was going on, why Ona was talking like that, why she was saying those things. Even if she did happen to know how you were feeling, why would she be teasing you about it like that? And what you’d overheard earlier, how she clearly thought you were stupid? 

“I want to go home,” you said quietly. “Actually, no, I- can I stay at your place tonight? I don’t want to be alone.”

“Of course, but what about Ona, don’t you want to stay with her?” Alexia frowned.

“No, I don’t want to talk to Ona right now,” you said, a familiar feeling of hurt washing over you as you thought about her words to Alexia. “Can we just go?”

“Okay, chiqui. But I’m going to go and tell Oni, okay? It wouldn’t be right to just leave her.”

Ona watched Alexia approach the booth, a bad feeling in her stomach. She should have run after you, she should have done something, said something. 

“Is she okay?” the younger player asked, worry gnawing at her insides. 

“Si, but…,” Alexia sighed. “She wants to go home, to my place. She wants to stay with me tonight.”

“Okay, should I come too?” 

“No, Oni, I’m sorry. I think you upset her,” Alexia said gently, not wanting to hurt Ona’s feelings. “But I’ll keep you updated and I will see you tomorrow at training, okay?”

“Oh. Okay.” Ona’s voice was small, and she looked down at the table, refusing to meet the captain’s eye. As she watched Alexia leave, she could feel a pit in her stomach, growing and growing, and she hoped it would swallow her whole.

[earthtooz]

x : SAY YES TO ME :*+ﾟ

in which: itoshi rin tastes like grape soju, temptation, and adoration, all in one.

warnings: -16 DNI, 2k words, gn!reader, jealous!rin, ANGST but with happy ending, making out, alcohol, reader and rin are in their 20s, party setting, slightly toxic dynamic but it's bc rin's emotionally constipated, swearing.

a/n: thank u @scarahearts for sitting with me through this abomination from 0 to 2000, i started at midnight <33 it is now... we don't speak abt it. don't be like me. anyways, rblgs appreciated and enjoy!!

itoshi rin is seething.

standing in the corner of the dingy, overrated house party, rin overlooks the partygoers with an expression of distaste whilst nursing a bottle of grape soju. it’s hot, he’s sweaty, and all rin wants to do is leave- but he can’t, because you’re here. 

but you’re talking to some random who should be him, and what’s worse is that said random is far too close to you for his liking.

rin can sense their underlying motivations. knows that because of how they’re looking at you, they want you all to themselves. knows that the way they run their hand through their hair is an attempt of trying to lure you in. knows that the many unnecessary, fleeting touches was to hint towards turning this into something more- rin doesn’t even want to think about it.

“hey, rin!” a voice yells from beside him, bypassing the thumping music. isagi materialises beside him, red solo cup in hand. “are you enjoying the party?”

“fuck off, isagi,” the dark-haired murmurs harshly, not even sparing his fellow soccer player a glance. isagi, who was about to refute rin with a confused exclamation, shuts his mouth and notices the intensity of rin’s glare. 

following his gaze leads to where you stand and through the wild strobe and disco lights, isagi spots your figure and someone else beside you- someone he doesn’t know. putting two and two together (his specialty), isagi works out whatever is wrong with rin rather quickly.

“when will you say something about your feelings for y/n?” he asks. 

rin pretends not to hear him because he wishes he didn’t.

“you’re a fucking idiot, rin, you know that?” 

“what.”

isagi hides his smile of amusement, biting the inside of his cheek. “i said it. are you seriously going to stand here and be miserable over someone talking to y/n when you’ve had so many chances?”

“what are you talking about, dumbass.”

“sure. call me the dumbass, at least i don’t pretend like i don’t care about someone i like.”

rin finally breaks his gaze from you, whipping his head to look at isagi with an offended glare. “huh?”

“you heard me. what are you scared of?” 

the younger out of the two pauses, staring emotionlessly at isagi before scoffing, taking a quick sip from the bottle in his hand and wiping the corner of his lips. “you wouldn’t get it.”

“get what? y/n is into you too, you have made out before on several occasions, so what are you so scared of?” 

rin is silent once again as his thoughts diverge to you- to everything about you that rin has committed to memory and his heart stutters at the mere intervention. even now, in the most pathetic party he’s ever attended, he can’t help but want you.

in fact, here he wants you even more, but isagi doesn’t need to know that.

“leave me alone, fuckhead.”

isagi frowns, knowing that this conversation was not going to go anywhere. if rin is immovable when sober, then it’ll be impossible to change his mind drunk.

“fine,” he huffs. “don’t cry to me about it when y/n finds someone else when that could have been you.”

his words hit a nerve and rin almost drops the bottle in his hands. the dark-haired awakens with a sudden urgency that was previously dormant, suddenly overcome with fear and dread at the idea that isagi has planted within his head.

stupid isagi. fuck that piece of shit. rin hopes he trips and twists his ankle so-

“rin?”

you’re looking at him, and fuck, suddenly he’s away from the corner and standing right in front of you and he doesn’t know what to do. the random looks at him with a repulsive look, clearly unhappy with the sudden intervention, however, there’s no time to think about them when you’re right in front of him, looking at him so concerned and curious.

you’re so gorgeous, it’s unfair. 

“what’s the matter?” you ask. rin hears you over the reverberating bass, it’s easy to when all he’s thinking about is you.

“got a problem?” the stranger parrots, puffing out their chest like some peacock. rin thinks they look stupid.

glancing back at you, he simply mutters a ‘need you’ that you don’t even hear, before grabbing your wrist and pulling you out of your seat. apart from a few sputters of surprise, there’s no complaint or resistance as he expertly navigates through the halls as if it were his property.

weaving past dozens of partygoers, your mind races in synchronisation with the wild beating of your heart; the only thing grounding you to reality was the firmness of rin’s grip.

when he, somehow, finds an empty hallway that’s secluded from where the majority of people are, he turns around to give you a frazzled look that is swimming with determination. 

then, his hands grab your face to pull you in. 

all of a sudden, his lips are on yours and all you know is him, him, him. rin is moving like he’s done this before- because he has. he has traced the expanse of your body and lips several times before in scenarios just like this, kissing you breathless with dizzying passion and unparalleled desire. he tastes like grape soju and your greatest mistake. 

it’s easy to melt into him, especially when he’s slotting himself against you so perfectly with one hand holding the back of your head and the other on your hip as he carefully leads you backwards. your back hits the cold wall, shielded by his hands, and the hiss of surprise you let out is inhaled by him.

recovering quickly, your arms snake up to wrap around his neck, eliminating any space between the two of you to mould yourselves into one- even if it was just for the night. 

rin parts, heavy pants fanning on your skin as he proceeds to trail kisses along your jawline. he presses his lips so tenderly against your vulnerable skin, a stark contrast to the burning fervour of his previous kiss. 

you wonder when you will stop falling victim to his siren call. 

this was the first time he’s ‘spoken’ to you since you walked in to the party, having ignored your smile and wave of greeting from across the room despite very clearly meeting your eyes. the soccer player in your arms even had the gall to turn around and walk away as if you were some nobody, retreating into the kitchen. his indifference stings and yet, whenever he pulls a stunt like this, you welcome it every time.

when will you finally be able to push him away?

noticing the way you’ve stilled in his grasp, rin pauses and takes his head out of your neck, looking up at you.

“what’s the matter?” he breathes, voice quiet and raspy. 

you push at his shoulder lightly and he loosens his hold, just a little. “we shouldn’t do this,” you murmur, avoiding his teal eyes. 

he flinches like your words burned him. no- you shouldn’t give yourself too much credit, you could never have that much impact on itoshi rin, not like the one he’s had on you.

readjusting yourself, you try to gently coax yourself out of his hold.

“what do you mean?” he questions.

you can’t breathe under the pressure that rin naturally exudes, coupled with the uncontrollable and uncomfortable racing of your heart, it’s almost impossible to breathe. “i mean,” you continue, “that i can’t do this. not with you, not tonight.” 

the dark-haired blinks once, twice, thrice, suddenly filled with a bout of sadness looking at your dejected stance. “y/n?”

“i can’t do this,” you echo, slowly, but surely, distancing yourself away from rin; from the man who has claimed your heart almost a year ago, from the man who has made you feel magical and unreal and disheartened and defeated, all at the same time.

“i like you too much for this to just continue on every time,” you ramble, running a hand down your face. “i can’t be used like this anymore. you know how i feel about you, rin, i know you do, and yet you do this every time.” your voice cracks. “so i’d appreciate it if you just left me alone.”

somehow, rin finds his arms empty and you’re now walking away, back turned to him and hunched, as if protecting your heart from further destruction at his hands. seeing you so uncharacteristically fragile and unlike the you he knows is a punch to the stomach, and the idea of breaking you makes him feel even worse. 

“wait- y/n, please,” he calls, catching up with a few, effortless strides. the soccer player reaches for your shoulder only to have you brush him off. “where are you going?”

you don’t answer.

“what do you mean ‘this’, what do i do every time?”

you turn around to face him. “you go from caring about me to ignoring me to then pulling stunts like this- i’m sick of it, itoshi!” your tone is accusatory and angry. rin gulps. “then you make me question whether or not you like me too, sometimes it feels like you do, then other times it feels like i’m the least important person to you in the world- what is up with that? i’ve had enough!”

the soccer player opens his mouth, hesitating, before shutting it again, unclenching his jaw and fists.

“i do like you,” the dark-haired murmurs after a moment of collecting his thoughts. he feels awkward; so out of place with confronting his emotions and problems like this. “i don’t want anyone but you.” 

rin’s voice wavers towards the end of his sentence. with the harsh house lights illuminating all of him, he feels even more exposed under your gaze. 

you cross your arms. “sure doesn’t feel like it.” 

he’s silent and it’s devastating how impassive he is, especially in the aftermath of your little outburst.

“whatever,” you huff. “i’m going home.”

“wait- don’t go,” rin pleads, voice echoing around the halls and he cringes at the deafening silence that follows. “i’m sorry. i’ve been… selfish.”

your eyes widen slightly. rin? apologising? acknowledging his faults? 

he recalls seeing you with the stranger and all the fury he felt during that moment. what right did he have to simply grab you and pull you with him? what right did he have to drag you away like you were his? “i shouldn’t- i shouldn’t have- i’m sorry, i had no right to do what i did, you’re not mine, but i want you- i really do and-”

“-then why aren’t you acting on it? you know how i feel yet nothing happens- why won’t you say yes to me?”

tentatively and hesitantly, rin takes a few steps towards you, opening his arms. you fall right into him, seeking solace in the warmth of his embrace and the scent of his cologne. 

you sigh. “i’m tired, rin.”

“i know, i’m sorry,” he rubs circles on your back. tests his luck by pressing a chaste kiss to your head. “another chance. don’t give up on me yet. please.” he whispers the last word as if it were a delicate promise- as if one wrong move could break you.

“i won’t.” you take your head out of his chest, looking at him with glossy eyes. “but this is definitely the last chance.”

“okay.”

“can you kiss me. please?” 

a small smile dances along rin’s expression and he nods before slowly leaning down, giving you enough time to push him away if you so pleased, but you don’t. instead, you let him press his lips against yours once more.

this time, it’s more gentle and slow. he tastes like love and hope with a dash of grape soju.

© EARTHTOOZ 2023, do not steal, translate, repost my fics and do not recommend my fics onto any other site.

[wntrs0ldier]

An Offer · part 11

pairing: mob!bucky x reader words: 4k warnings: typical mafia (dark themes, language, violence, etc.), smut?

series masterlist

series summary: When your father dies, the only thing you can do for your family and the empire he built, is to marry a powerful man.

“Hey, Y/N.” A soft whisper brushed your ear and wrapped itself around your waking mind. “Hey, hey…” A gentle touch slid across your cheek, pulling out of sleep the remnants of consciousness fighting for further rest. Your lungs involuntarily filled with a bigger load of air; you opened your eyes, and they immediately found Bucky sitting beside you. He gave you a tender smile, his thumb relentlessly stroking your cheek.

“What?” you asked without much thought. Bucky seemed calm, so you saw no reason to panic either. His touch, this time instead of helping you stay awake, was pushing you towards falling asleep again. Your eyelids drooped, and you had little control over it – it was entirely his fault.

“Hey, stay with me,” Bucky ordered right away, his voice still soft, as if, contrary to the words spoken, he didn't want to disturb you at all. 

“But it's so warm and comfortable here…” 

His hand, which until then had been resting on your face, slipped under the covers. It touched your thigh, and though your eyes remained closed, the rest of your body was awakened by an explosion; a memory of the previous night. Bucky's hand moved higher and turned unexpectedly, his fingers unceremoniously pinching your cheek. You moaned, more in surprise than pain, then looked at Bucky with innocent reproach – he'd used something against you that you definitely liked, and you knew he wouldn't do anything about it. He had aroused not only your mind, but especially your body, and would leave you aching and craving again. But there was also something on his face that might indicate a different turn of events; the same rawness that you had observed the first time he appeared in your house that day had returned. It was as if your innocence and exposure were driving him into some kind of wild, nevertheless controlled madness.

Bucky pressed his lips together and took a deep breath. He swallowed hard at the lust you had also raised in him, and took his hands away. He got up from the bed and it was only then that you noticed he had already his clothes on. “Get dressed,” he grunted. “We have to get back to New York.”

You sat up on the mattress and glanced at the window – it was still dark outside. You grabbed your phone; it was almost three in the morning. You returned your gaze to Bucky, giving him a questioning, confused look, but he paid no more attention to you, too busy gathering up his stuff. “...Is something wrong?” 

“Timothy called,” he replied, and when he did, you already knew you had lost him. You'd lost smiley, relaxed Bucky; when you got to Vegas, he'd come back to life amongst the warmth, sunshine and all the softness you had for each other. And then all it took was one, probably cold and spiteful phone call from his uncle to destroy it; to kill that side of him. 

“Alright…” You nodded slowly. “And he wanted you to come back?”

“He said he needs me. Got a job for me.” He threw his sweats and t-shirt on the bed. “Put this on. Please,” he urged, thereby letting you know that he didn't have time for the rest of your questions. And you weren't quite sure what you should actually feel, but you weren't hurt. You were probably prepared for this; for life alongside a gangster. Bucky was now your husband, and although you had married on your own terms, your society had established a pattern that was imprinted in the two of you as well - however good you intended to be to each other; however much Bucky wanted to make you his equal, he was your husband – a specific, meaningful figure in your world – so you had to follow him, do everything he demanded and expected of you. And you weren't going to fight back, because you trusted him. Maybe not entirely – you still needed time – but you kept believing in his whole “Maybe my heart is in the right place. Maybe I want to do some good.”

It wasn't hard to guess that time played a key role, but you were only confirmed in this belief by the fact that you were returning to New York by plane, sent by Timothy. You still didn't know what he wanted from Bucky, but the matter seemed serious if he was taking such measures. And probably for the first time you realized what your mother really meant when she repeated to you like a mantra: Never marry a gangster. 

Because you were worried. You were worried about your husband, and you weren't sure how to deal with that feeling. It was so... unexpected. Or rather, the fact that it involved Bucky; tied to you in this untrue, loveless marriage. It turned out that you had a softer heart than you thought.

When you landed, a car was waiting for you. The driver, on Bucky's instructions, took you to an address you didn't know – one of New York's apartment complexes. You felt more and more lost, because you had the impression that instead of receiving information that would help your mind to function undisturbed by stress, you knew far too little. You could have asked – you could have asked anything, but you didn't want to throw Bucky off balance. You could see he was irritated enough and was doing his best not to unload on you. You weren't going to make it difficult for him.

Still, there were questions you couldn't keep quiet about. “Where exactly are we..?” You furrowed, watching Bucky turn the keys in the lock. 

He opened the door and let you through. “At my place,” he answered, closing the wooden lid behind him. He put your luggage on the floor, because although this time you managed to declare to him that you could handle your bag, he turned a deaf ear to it.

“Right…” You looked around hesitantly. For some reason, you didn't think he had his own place; mostly you'd find him at his family house, moreover, he had never mentioned having his own place before. Admittedly, he didn't mention owning a casino either. He didn't actually talk about anything until it came to the surface by itself. 

“Look…” Bucky murmured, checking something on his phone. Shortly afterwards, he turned it off and lifted his gaze to you. “I gotta see my uncle. Can you wait here for me?”

“Sure.” You smiled slightly. Apart from the fact that you didn't really have anywhere else to go, you wanted to stay here; to get to know better the space that belonged to Bucky. 

And he managed the same pained rise of the corners of his mouth. He only nodded, and after a moment he left the apartment. You didn't resent him for this at all – you knew there were priorities in your world, besides, in reality you and Bucky didn't function as a typical married couple, but more like co-workers. So, in theory, you didn't need to know; it should have been enough for you that your deal has been working; that it has been protecting you and your father's business. However, you couldn't help but feel that in all this you were also looking out for Bucky's wellbeing. Or maybe you cared mostly about that. And some part of you wanted to know everything; including how he felt.

Despite your suspicion that caffeine would fuel your anxiety, you decided to make yourself a coffee. You hadn't slept a wink on the plane, and now you didn't feel like sleeping either; the tension accompanying you, while draining you additionally, didn't allow you to rest. 

When the boiling coffee machine announced it was finished, you wrapped your hands around the cup, slurped a sip of the hot drink, the smell of which had already spread throughout the kitchen, and went for your rounds. You didn't particularly care if your behavior entered the territory of being nosy; the place belonged to your husband; the same one who had left you alone in it. So you gave yourself every right to search any corner if you wished.

Just as with the car, the apartment reflected the owner in some way; once you crossed its door, every choice seemed perfectly understandable. First of all, dark colors that were pleasantly soothing to the senses – deep shades of gray on the walls; anthracite or graphite, sometimes black, like the tiles in the kitchen; solid wooden panels in a cool shade of chocolate on the floors; mainly black furniture, silver, gray or dark blue accessories. The spaces were brightened only by large windows looking out largely onto other, equally tall buildings.

You finished your coffee, glancing around the interior of the living room, and thoughts were racing through your head – unanswered questions to yourself about whether this was where you would be living from now on, mixed with concerns about Bucky; was he safe? He was supposed to be with his uncle, but you didn't trust Timothy. What did he want from Bucky? Is he going to contact you or will he do what Timothy asks him to do without a word of warning? How long is it going to take? Is it really something serious? Dangerous?

Never marry a gangster.

You shake your head, as if that's going to help you clear up the chaos; as if that shake was going to sort out the whole mess. Back in the kitchen, you put the cup in the dishwasher, then headed to the bathroom. 

You felt a little better, washing off the hours spent on the plane; as streams of warm water ran down your sore, tired body. You reached up to a stone shelf, and came across more bottles than you thought you would; in addition to shower gel and shampoo, you found a hair conditioner.

You wrapped yourself in a fresh towel found in one of the cabinets, then left the bathroom with the intention of finding something to put on. However, you didn't manage to get to your bag; the door to the apartment opened and Bucky burst in. You didn't know if he had noticed you; he didn't even look in your direction, just grabbed his baggage from the floor, and without stopping, went to the bedroom. At first you stood there speechless – Bucky's abruptness caught you off guard; you also weren't sure if he had ignored you on purpose. But maybe it was better that way; you preferred not to get in his way. Nevertheless, after a moment, you followed him. 

Bucky walked from the bed to the wardrobe and back again, repacking his bag.

“What are you doing?” you spoke, but your voice sounded so weak and quiet that you weren't even sure if those words had actually left your mouth. Especially as he still wasn't paying attention to you. “Bucky?” you asked a little more firmly, and he glanced at you over his shoulder. “What’s going on? What are you-”

“I have to leave.”

Your lungs suddenly ran out of air, your eyes widened.

“Timothy wants me to monitor business in Italy,” he answered, nervously shoving some folded clothes into his bag. “Somehow, strangely enough, he suddenly stopped trusting our men there.” He almost snorted. 

Your lips parted involuntarily as you stared at his back. You barely consciously moved from your spot and approached Bucky. “For how long?”

“Few weeks, few months. I don't know. When he'll be satisfied enough with my work.”

You sat on the edge of the bed and stuck your eyes into the floor. “And you can’t say no.”

Bucky pressed his lips together. “I still owe him a debt. Besides, debt or not, my uncle is the head of the Family. And I crossed the line by marrying you behind his back.”

Your gaze tentatively returned to him. “He's punishing you for it..?”

He said nothing at first. He zipped up the bag, and for a brief moment you had the feeling that he was about to slam it against one of the walls.

“He'll make me break every promise I made to you,” Bucky claimed. He looked at you with what you could call fear if you knew the reason for it. One thing you were sure of – the tearing pain in his eyes. He regretted something; probably the fact that he had dragged you into this. “But I need you, Y/N.” Having stood between your legs, he dropped to his knees, his hands on your hips. “I fucking need you on my side.”

“Jamie-” You instinctively tucked a strand of his hair behind his ear in a soothing gesture. “I am on your side.”

“I don't know when I'll be back,” he repeated. “What if you'll have enough time to hate me?” His mouth twitched in a sad smile.

“I won't hate you,” you protested. “It's not your fault that you have to go. Our world is just built that way. And I get it.”

“I’m sorry.” He shook his head with clear disappointment; towards himself and the whole situation. He shifted slightly, then rested his head against your stomach, snuggling into your body. “I’m so fucking sorry.”

You slid your fingers into his hair and brushed it tenderly. “It’s okay, Bucky. Really,” you whispered. He pulled back just enough to look at you. As your fingers rubbed his scalp with affection, his thumbs stroked your hips. “What if you’ll have enough time to find someone else?” you asked after a moment of silence.

“Y/N-” Bucky sighed with resignation.

“You know we are not with each other because of love,” you reminded, trying to talk some sense into him. “You want to be a good husband, and that's really great, but-” You gasped. “I don't want to get in your way. I don't want to stop you from finding what would really make you happy.”

Bucky's forehead furrowed, giving his face an offended expression. “So what? You're giving me permission to go there and cheat on you left and right?” His hands left your body and slipped on the mattress. 

“That's not what I said,” you objected right away. “And you told me practically the same thing. In your uncle’s garden.”

Bucky stared at you without even blinking. He chewed nervously on his bottom lip and shook his head, looking away for a moment. Shortly afterwards he gazed at you again. “Okay. Have it your way,” he replied. “You will be the first to know. But now I'm only yours. And you are mine as long as I am here.” He raised his hand to your cheek. Soon, however, he moved it to the back of your head to draw you closer; he pressed his lips to yours with a longing you already recognised; he kissed you for the first time since last night. And you weren't even taken aback; the gesture seemed so natural, so familiar and right.

Bucky rose from his knees, and as if by instinct you climbed onto the bed to make space for him. The mattress bent under his weight as he took the spot right in front of you. He laid another, this time a more tender kiss on your lips, then took off his sweatshirt; he didn't need to do that – the sudden desire was strong enough that you might as well satisfy it instantly, without unnecessary delay. But you were wearing only a towel, which was about to fall; Bucky craved to feel your naked skin against his own; to keep you company in total exposure.

You kissed him – slowly and sloppily – meanwhile reaching for his belt and managing to unbuckle it, wanting to assure him that you needed it too; that you were completely comfortable with the closeness he was initiating. 

Bucky pulled down his trousers and kicked them on the floor, and as his body pushed against yours, his lips traced a chaotic wet path on your neck. At one point, you even felt him grab a piece of your skin between his teeth; he sucked on it hard enough that you let out an involuntary whimper, and then irritated the sore spot with the tip of his tongue.

He sized you up with his eyes; your body stripped of its covering. You didn't feel as insecure as before – you weren't used to Bucky like that yet, but you were too absorbed in putting out your burning needs. “Fuck what I said earlier,” he rasped. “I'm not sharing you with anyone. And if that anyone happens, I'll fuck them out of your pretty little head.” He stretched his lips in a smirk, then leaned down and nuzzled your nose with his. “I can't get enough of you, baby,” he added, sinking into you without any warning. You both parted your lips; Bucky's breath stilled in his throat, and your back arched as you felt his whole cock inside you. 

His heated, heavy body brushed against yours; slowly at first, lazily even, so that he could watch your face, drinking in every little expression. And you looked at him – a little helplessly against the control he had over you, and with a hope, perhaps even a silent request, that he would be the one to fulfill this hunger he himself had aroused in you. And you knew; you could see it on his face, feel it in his every movement, that he had set himself just such a mission.

Soon his hips began pounding fast enough that your clashing, naked, sweaty bodies made that characteristic, heavenly sound – it filled the whole room, mixing with your moans and Bucky's panting. If at all possible, the combination was turning you on even more, intensifying the sensations his dick was giving you, sliding in and out in that rapid rhythm, his wet, hot lips wandering on your skin. You felt his hand suddenly clench on your hair, his teeth hooking lightly on the edge of your jaw; if he could, Bucky would absorb every bit of your body.

You didn't even know at what exact moment you wrapped your hand around Bucky's biceps; you realized this when you painfully dug your nails into it – painful for both of you, but also somehow releasing the sensations that had been building up inside you. They were piling up, and you weren't going to fight them this time either. As that seemingly familiar but actually new feeling exploded in the pit of your stomach, you tightly hugged Bucky and pulled him closer. You uncontrollably sank your teeth into his shoulder, and pure pleasure spread across his face.

With his head on your chest, Bucky was slowly climbing down from his high. You stroked his arm carefully with your knuckles, then brushed your fingertips over the mark of your teeth. 

“You’re a biter,” he murmured, feeling your touch in that spot. From the tone of his voice, you figured he was smiling while saying it. 

“Apparently,” you admitted with a little amusement. “How much time have you got?”

“Why? You want to get rid of me already?”

“I don't want to give Timothy any reason to punish us more than he already did.”

Bucky sighed heavily. He supported himself on his elbows, pulling his head away from your chest, and looked at you. You'd started the topic of Timothy again, and expected worry; that unsettling nervousness. Instead, Bucky stared at you with a gentle smile. “I wouldn't be myself if I didn't fuck with him at least a little,” he stated. “Besides…” He shrugged. “I'm saying goodbye to my wife, aren't I? And judging by his desire to have an heir, my uncle strongly respects family values.” He squinted, smiling insincerely.

You laughed, biting your bottom lip, then lifted your hands to his face. “And that's what you're going to tell him? That you were late because you were working on an heir?”

“Maybe,” Bucky said casually. Watching him with a tender grin, you stroked his cheeks with your thumbs, then carefully moved your finger down his nose; from bridge to tip. The expression on Bucky's face firmly softened – to some extent he even seemed surprised that someone had treated him with such gentleness. “Say it,” he whispered. 

“What?” This time, your thumb caressed his chin.

“That I'm yours. I need to hear it. I need to know that when I come back, I'll come back to you. To my girl.”

There was something painfully shattering about seeing him embraced by such helplessness, uncertainty about his own worth; about how you perceived him.

“I don't want to lose you,” he continued. “The thought of you, of you being there for me, is the only thing that will keep me sane, I-”

“It's okay. It's okay.” You smiled reassuringly, your hands returned to his cheeks. “You are mine, and I'm not going to look for anyone else, I promise. I'll wait for you as long as it takes, okay? I am not leaving you, Jamie.”

Bucky nodded. He leaned in and placed a soft kiss on your lips, immediately followed by another, much more filled with fear, insecurity, vulnerability. 

“I'll miss you,” you muttered into his mouth.

“And I will miss you. Very much.” He trailed his pecks down to your chin, your neck. One of his hands found its way between your thighs, parting them; without protest you spread your legs wider and he settled between them again. You felt his hardened cock rubbing against the inside of your thigh. You never imagined that you would affect someone so much, and knowing that you actually did put Bucky in a slightly different light; it created a new connection between you, based on intimacy and desire for each other. 

His length thrust into you again, and you whimpered as your eyes rolled back in your skull.

You got out of the car – a little sore and tired. Bucky grabbed his bag from the back seats, then reached for your hand, locking your fingers together. He didn't let it show, but you could sense that he was nervous.

A plane was already waiting on the large, empty lot; the property of the Barnes Family. Timothy was standing not far from the heavy machine, talking to the pilot; Steve was also there, but as soon as he spotted the two of you, he walked towards you.

“Y/N.” He nodded to you; you waved at him in response, plastering a slight smile on your face. 

To greet Steve, Bucky chose to drop his bag rather than let go of your hand. He put his free arm around Steve and patted him on the back. “Keep an eye on her, okay?”

“I will.”

Bucky released your hand, but only to move his arm down your back and pull you closer. You bumped against his body, resting your hands on his chest. “It'll be fine. Hmm?”

You wanted to believe it, but couldn't. That's why all you were able to do was smile sadly and press a tender kiss on his lips. Bucky rested his forehead against yours.

“I'll be waiting for you,” you said quietly, making him smile as well.

“I know.” He kissed your forehead, leaving his mouth there for a little longer than necessary. When he pulled away, he reached into the pocket of his leather jacket, then handed you the keys to the Mustang. “Here. Take care of it, alright?” 

“Alright,” you replied almost silently, lowering your gaze to the keys in your hand. As you lifted your eyes back to Bucky, you caught his stare. He looked at you with a soft smirk. You didn't say anything. Soon, however, he once again joined your lips.

“I gotta go.” He placed a kiss on the back of your hand, having brought it to his mouth, then pulled away and headed toward the plane. You pressed your trembling lips together, watching him. And again you felt that unpleasant coldness of being left alone.

a/n: feel free to share your thoughts, they are more than welcomed 🥰

taglist: @goldensunflowe-r @nefri-black @vickie5446 @learisa @sjsmith56 @aya-fay @hhiggs @wishingwell-2 @buckysgirl01 @emily-roberts @prettylittlepluviophile @leaaa008 @itvy5601 @melsunshine @pattiemac1 @marvel-fandom23 @rabbitrabbit12321 @xsecretsirenx @heyyitsreign @xhollycowx @samfreakingwinchester @thrnlvr @samjuarezzz @loustan90 @kandis-mom @abaker74 @gabshouse @casa-boiardi @globetrotter28 @fand0mskullfa1ry @iateall-yourcookies @swordofawriter

[notyashiro128]

FIRST TIME - you're having sex with your bf for the first time + after care

note: ask me anything ill do a n q for 30 followers so yeahgh it took fr 2 days i wrote this while im in my period so yeahh i feel the pain help

Type : 💮🍋

content warnings: nsfw (17+), fem!reader, mainly soft sex , soft dom megumi x virgin reader First time you and Megumi have sex๋࣭⭑ , after care

It all started at the beginning of the holiday when Nobara and Yuji decided to go and see their family

Finally, you will spend some time with your boyfriend Because they both don't know that both of you are dating

After they left that day You and Megumi decided to sleep together in his dorm

You both went to buy some snacks for the night and went back After you both entered

Megumi went to the kitchen to get popcorn while you searched in his closet for a hoodie to wear

When you found it, you went to the bathroom to change.

Now everything is ready for the night, the popcorn, the chocolate, and the bed are ready everything is ready

"why are you wearing my hoodie?" He asked smiling, finally, Megumi is smiling

"why not It's too soft and I love it" you giggled

You were both now sitting on the bed with Megumi's laptop on your lap, you chose the movie, but when you both started watching, the laptop turned off

"wait I'll get the charger" Megumi plugged the charger

"ok done" Then you turned on the laptop and it opened

"Okay, I'll go to the history story because I'm lazy", you said while opening the history

"w-wait you don't have to, I'll do it" His face turned pale and he didn't want you to enter

"why let me do it it's just a movie What? Is there something you don't want me to see?" You teased him

"no, it's just well....."

You opened the history of Megumi and you were shocked that Megumi used to watch porn

"I-" you were shocked and quickly closed the laptop and Megumi's face turned red

"I can only explain that" he said that quickly

You were very angry your boyfriend used to porn you never thought that Megumi would do something like this

"Tell me", you said angrily,

"It's just that sometimes when I'm horny, I get ashamed to ask you to have sex because I know you're a virgin, And I don't want to force you to have sex with me so in order not to bother you, I watch some of this, believe me, please " he said that looking at the floor

You were silent, not knowing what to say

You were about to get into a discussion with him because you thought it was a kind of cheating, while you thought to yourself that it was your fault because, well...

"Y/n say something I'm sorry" he moved the laptop away and hugged you tightly

At that moment, you sat on his lap and started kissing him forcefully

As his lips met yours, he softly whispered "Y/-y/n," causing your heart to skip a beat. You could feel the warmth of his body as he wrapped his arms around your waist, pulling you closer to him. , you placed your hands on his t-shirt,You felt a fluttering sensation in your stomach, like a thousand butterflies were stirring within you

You were feeling something that pricked you from underneath

After a minute of kissing, you pulled away Because you needed air, you were both sighing

"Y/n you don't have to force yourself I am sorry I am very sorry " He sighed as he moved your hair away from your face so he could see your whole face (aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa) You were both blushing and still feeling something that pricked you. You knew that Megumi was horny just by your kiss.

"I wanna do it," you said blushing "I want to have sex, I want you to be the first and only person to touch me "

You shyly agreed when he asked "Are you sure?" and with a blush on your face, you confidently took off the hoodie you were wearing, revealing your black bra.

Megumi experienced a moment that would be etched in his memory forever. His heart was thumping in his chest as he looked at you with awe. You were sitting comfortably in his lap, with your bra and panties on and the feeling of your weight on him sent shivers down his spine. His eyes couldn't help but take in every inch of you, and he was overcome with a rush of desire that he couldn't ignore. Every detail of you, from your soft hair to your gentle touch to your perfect body, was imprinted in his mind, and he knew he would never forget this moment with you.

Megumi was more focused on your chest

"like what you see?" You teased him, and you sat on the edge of the bed taking off your pants You were left with only your black pantie while waiting for him to take off his clothes, and he did Megumi is now only in his boxer

His muscles were prominent. His body was perfect. It was in the shape of the letter V. Megumi was beautiful, very beautiful, and pretty. Nothing could describe his beauty. From his unique haircut to His dark blue eyes.

He noticed that you were looking at his body. He cupped your cheek with his large hand and pulled you close to him and began to kiss you gently, with light kisses

The kisses went further it's gave you a butterfly in your stomach Without breaking the kiss he's now making you lean back While you made out, he reached for your back, removing your bra, and letting your breast move freely.

"Hm~ you're so.. beautiful.." he begged

He pushed you back down, nibbling and licking your skin down to your cleavage. His mouth found its way to your nipple, sucking and gently biting it. His hand roamed your body, leaving no spot untouched while his other free hand gave light squeezes and played with your other nipple. In repeat, he did the same to the other side. At the same time. Both of you were just getting started, yet he made you feel so good that you arched your back from all the pleasure he willingly gave you.

He loved how your body was so perfect. So perfect for him

With your sweet little moans and whimpers, you squirm under him, blushing intensely, he loved the way you looked. The way you looked at him with such lust matched his, and yet you watched his every move.

"Y/n you are so pretty~, I can't get enough of you please " he was whining

He enjoyed this so much. Your expressions, your smell, your body, all of it, he loves them all so much

Then he went to your neck to put the last hickey

"Gum-mii" you moaned, You placed your hand over your mouth

"No, why are you covering your mouth? I want to hear you moaning. I want to hear your voice" Then he removed your hands and kissed your lips, “Don’t do that again k?" You nod then he started kissing your boobs again while going down no his kissing your stomach

Your boobs your neck your stomach are full with hickeys......

"You're making me crazy I'm gonna lose my mind "

He then moved down to your tick thighs he grabbed them "Aww they are so soft and it feels like marshmallows" he then separate your legs and start making more hickeys in your thighs

It feels like a dream for him, The room is filled with your moaning and heat

"ah, Megumi- mmm" You start moaning so badly that you grip the bed sheet tightly

It was painful but you loved it

Megumi stops and starts looking at you You were so beautiful he still couldn't believe he was having sex with you

"I'll be right back wait" he went to his closet to get some condoms (how he had them idk fr)

He took off his boxer revealing his tall dick ( about 20-23 cm idk)

You looked away to avoid looking at his dick before he puts the condom on he grabbed your hand and placed on his dick saying

"This is part of me too dear.....don't be shy i know it's your first time and I am so happy that I am your first" he then gets in top of you and kissed your forehead" I love you"

"but it's too big" you said

"oh you saying that I am too big for you" he teased you

You stated at him for 5 seconds straight

... "I'm not having sex with you bye" you said Coldly

"huh wait I was joking" He tried to apologise

He then lowered his face to meet your clit

Then he noticed that your pantie are wet, he took them off "W-wait"

"shhh trust me" he took it all off "So pretty ~" he then start licking your clit while rubbing your pussy with his finger not deeper just to teas you You start moaning "Gumi......ah....mmmm " You You liked it

you start begging for more and then

"Megumilfell Ngh! something w-weirddd" you can't even spell the words rights from moaning,he ignored you

And then you came for the first time, After you came you started feeling embarrassed "G-gumi am Sosorry" you cried "No baby that's okay it means you liked it", "I think you're ready now" he added while wearing his condom

He puts your legs up his shoulders "it will hurt you at first but then you'll like trust me" you nod as megumi starting to put his dick inside you slowly

You felt pain "Nono i-duno want it stoop" you cried "Ahhh gumi no more", he noticed your blood coming out. He was happy because he was the one who got your virgin "We will finish, just wait." Finally, his dick was inside you now, then he began to adjust its size and removed your hair that in your face with his hand

"I wanna see your face" he then holds your hands and pins them onto the bed now his on top of you

"I'm gonna start" he started to thrust in and out slowly, your moans was like music to his ears

You grabbed a hold of your hips and began slamming you against him. "i-i can't take it," you moaned. "yes, you can sweetheart," he grunted.

He didn't want to be rough with you just a slow thrust, he loved seeing your face

You liked it

you loved it

You wanted more

Megumi felt your insides pressing against his cock he started getting faster

"Haa you're so good do u like that" he asked

"mmmm ah" Megumi found your sweet spot

Megumi was thrust hard into your sweet spot "Gumi- ahh there there" He approached you and started giving you wet kisses on your lips

"i think im haa gonna c-cum" he said softly

He started to thrust faster, and all heard was the sound of skin slapping, the sound of your moans, and Megumi's moans as well

"cum cum cum cum haaaa" He moaned

"I'm cumming cumming nghh" Then he let go of your hands and grabbed your thighs tightly You felt a hot liquid Inside you. It was his cum

"you did well you did soo fucking good" Megumi sights Megumi took his dick out of you, removed the condom, and lay down on the bed next to you

Now you both sighed heavily, "You did well." He hugged you.

Your body feels hot and tried and full of hickeys

You waited in that position for approximately five minutes until he stood up and proceeded towards the bathroom to prepare the bathtub.

"The bathroom is ready." You were really tired "Mmm just more than 5 mi-" You didn't even finish your words and Megumi picked you up and went into the bathroom and put you in the bathtub.

The water was nicely warm, and then Megumi sat behind you so you leaned your head on his chest, then he put his hand on your waist, "How do you feel better?"

"Good," you said Coldly

"What's wrong, you're not feeling well?" He asked

"I'm still mad at you for watching these movies." You sigh

"OK, I am sorry ma-" you interrupted him

"sorry for what The act you have done is type of cheating" you were very angry

He was silent for a while

" I won't do that again iam sorry..." He muttered at your ear

You nod, "Come on smile" he said playfully he eats your cheek "What are u doing!"

"ok ok but for real I am sorry please forgive me my beautiful lady" (this bitch)

"Megumi how did u fall in love with me "And without any reason, you asked him this question

"Will You are truly special from others. When I am standing with you or talking to you, I forget everything around me. You are truly beautiful and intelligent, and I love your personality" he kissed your neck from behind

"I love you more, oh yes, I remembered Megumi, I heard that there are birth control pills, what do you think should take it?" You asked

"No, it is not good. It may affect your health. Why the pills? I do not want you to suffer just so that you do not get pregnant. Let us use condoms until we get married so we can do it with nothing." He said softly

You blushed

"After we finish high school I will marry you we can go to college while married" he added

(this mffffff)

After that, Megumi washed your hair and body of course with kisses and yeah, let you rest in the bathtub,

Megumi gets up," where are you going?" You asked "I'll change the sheet of the bed"

Megumi carefully examined the bed sheet and noticed the telltale signs of blood. he decided to remove the sheet and store it in his closet to preserve it as evidence of what had happened. After taking care of the sheet, he prepared the bed for you and went to the bathroom. he put on a soft bathrobe for you and gently lifted you to place you on the bed. To keep you warm, he provided you with some of his clothes and retrieved the hair dryer you had gifted him earlier. He carefully dried both your hair and his own, all the while making sure you were feeling safe and comfortable.

After that, you were feeling some discomfort in your legs and your back. You and Megumi decided to retire to bed early, seeking comfort and warmth in each other's embrace. As you both lie down, you wrap your arms around each other, feeling a sense of relief wash over you. The softness of the bed and the gentle warmth of Megumi's body against yours make you feel safe and secure, and you can't help but close your eyes and drift off into a peaceful slumber.

Megumi was keeping an eye on you. It was a peaceful moment, and Megumi felt like capturing it by taking a picture of the two of you. He reached for his phone and opened Snapchat, planning to take a quick snap he write on it the first time However, in his sleepy state, he accidentally hit the "Post to my story" button

To his horror, he realized that he had just posted the picture. He quickly tried to delete the post, but not before your mutual friend Yuji had seen it. Megumi knew that Yuji was a notorious gossip and that he would immediately start texting everyone he knew about the photo

Megumi quickly deleted the story turned off his phone and went back to sleep, hoping that yuji will keep his mouth shut However, he knew that when he turned his phone back on, it would be exploding with messages from Yuji, and possibly from your other friends Nobara and Gojo, too.

The end ✨

Ask me anything plz ill do q n a

[sturniolo04]

Hair Surprise M.S.

Bf!Matt x Gf!Fem!Reader

Summary: in which you forget you dyed your hair and your boyfriend is shocked

A/N: If you don't like the preadded name in my stories, you can either add your own name or not read it; it's up to you :)

you and matt had been dating at least a year and a half and within that year and a half, you and him have shared so many moments, memories, and changes with each other. The changes you and matt had has was not major just aside from having two completely different lifestyle and schedules which often didn't allow you and matt to spend time together as often.

Ultimately you guys were able to find loop holes in the schedules you had to be able to hang out on certain days. Today being one of those day, matt was finally coming over to your apartment to spend the night since it was the weekend and to say you were excited to see him was an understatement. Once you got a text from him saying he was at your door you sprinted down the stairs to open it and greet him

"eekkk hii"

you exclaim giggling jumping up in his arms as he catches you, his hands landing on your ass.

"oh my goodness hiii"

he chuckles out leaning down slightly still holding you close to him.

"I missed you"

you squeal out as he places you back on your feet finally being able to look at you.

"i missed yo-"

he cuts himself off admiring you hair catching you off guard.

"what"

you question giggling. See matt is normally use to seeing you with light blonde hair it being your natural hair color but for the sake of the fall season being here you decided to go dark to a black brown. You completely forgetting that you have done so earlier this week and didn't tell matt because you both have been so busy with work and filming.

"baby your hair"

he states reaching out to touch the ends of your hair between his fingers

"oh shit yeah i forgot i dyed it um tada"

you giggle out running a hand through your hair to fluff it out more, as matt comes up to you lunging you over his broad shoulder.

"MATT"

you exclaim out through giggles as place one of your hands on the back of his head and the other on the middle of his back bracing yourself as he makes his way upstairs to your room.

"this will only take a few mintues"

he smirks out pushing your door open with his foot as he carefully sets you down on the bed. You continuing to giggle as he pulls his shirt over his head crawling on top of you with his sliver chain dangling in between your bodies.

Your chest rises and falls as you feel his breath fan over your face as he leans in to allow your guys lips to touch but god forbid he connects them. You lean up in attempt to close the gap between you two as matt shifts backward not giving you the satisfaction just yet, causing you to groan and whine out at the subtle denial. what a tease

oh my god mattt"

you softly gasp out giggling dragging out the 't' in his name tipping your head back to dig into your pillows on your bed seeing he has continued his actions for a couple more minutes longer. He smirks knowing he is riling you up already and he hasn't done anything yet. Growing frustrated, you grab matt's face pushes his lips to yours created a deep, sensual make out. Matt lays a free hand on your waist underneath him and one right next to your head on your pillow to keep him stable.

Matt slowly trails your guys make out into soft kisses that dance down your collarbone as he laces his fingers underneath the hem of your t shirt you were wearing pulling it over your head and body proceeding to continue trailing his kisses down your body to your black underwear that hugged your hips perfectly.

"can i take these off princess"

att questions you after he leaves a couple kisses on the waist band of your underwear. You simply nod your head, lifting you hips to allow matt to slip them down and off your body and legs.

"fuck"

matt breathes out as he strips himself of his sweatpants and his boxer being removed, shortly after.

" you ready princess"

matt asks you once again leaving a sweet kiss on your nose as he crawls back in between you thighs.

"yeah"

you breath out as matt runs his tip along your folds, using your wetness as a lubricant. Matt then shortly after begins to push himself into you as you reach your hands up digging you fingertips into the tops of your boyfriends shoulder, feeling the rush of immense pleasure as he bottoms out.

"holy shit"

you gasp out tipping your head backward as matt process to rock his hips to meet your while placing kisses on you neck and then proceeding to nuzzle his face in your neck.

"fuck youre so tight"

he groans out continue his slow pace as he lifts his head bring your head to lean forward into his bare chest resting his on top of your freshly dyed hair, threading his fingers through it.

"fuckkk matt"

you groan out dragging out the 'k' completely lost in the pleasure and pressure throughout your whole entire body that your boyfriend is giving to you.

"im g'nna cum fuck"

you exclaim out to him digging your fingernails into the back of matt's biceps.

"cum f'me princess make a mess on me"

he moans out as his thrusts started to get sloppy. You both were a moaning mess chasing your orgasms. Matt stills his hips letting out a groan as your orgasm crashed into his as he painted your walls white.

"holy shit"

matt gasps out collasping next to you on your bed.

"maybe i should dye my hair more often if it leads to us fucking"

you giggle out turning your head to meet you boyfriends gaze.

"oh you definitely should"

matt chuckles out.

Taglist

@mintsturniolo @adirtylittleheart @wh0resstuff @spicymuffins03 @aaliyahsturn

[thewritetofreespeech]

Gale x Tav

words: 885 rating: T pairing: Gale x Tav summary: As in all things, it seems, you and Gale dance to the sound of your own music. tags: Fluff, Domestic Fluff, so much fluff, I hope you brushed your teeth today, You/Gale scenario, more gender neutral than the others

Ao3 - 1000 Night Series

---------------------------🟣----------------------------------

There were many things that you loved about Gale’s home. First, and most importantly, Gale was in it. Second to that was you liked all the ‘Gale-ish’ touches around the home. His books, of course. His propensity to collect shiny stones like a magpie under the guise of ‘research’ or some arcane activity, but in reality you think he just liked them. The wear spots in the kitchen counter where he stood to make meals, faded from constant use. But your favorite thing about the home, apart from Gale, was the view.

When he showed you visions of Waterdeep from his terrace on that first night they shared, you had been mesmerized by the view. Many a night your mind would drift back to that moment and think not just about being with Gale, but the memory of that view and how much you wished for it to be reality.

Now it was your. The view. The terrace. Gale. And just as you had told him that night, the reality was much better than the illusion.

Looking over the ocean. Listening to the waves brush against the sand. And, if you listened very closely, you could hear music & revelry from some of the bards and patrons at one the taverns down the road. Also enjoying the night air and peaceful moments left freely to them.

“What a brilliant scene.” you turned to look over your shoulder at Gale. Standing in the entry way. A soft, pleased smile on his face as he watched you watching the horizon. “The sunset isn’t bad either. What I would have given some time ago to make this vision a reality. I feel compelled to pinch myself.” You chuckled as you watched Gale move to take his place on his favorite spot. His eyes back on you once he was settled. “Enjoying the view, my love?”

“More the music.”

You tilted your head towards the faint sounds and Gale followed suit. Seeming to be straining to hear it, but eventually picking up on the notes drifting on the air. “Ah yes. Sounds like they’re having fun.” You agreed but said nothing as you continued to just listen. “Do you want wish to join them? I’m sure we could easily find which tavern all the commotion is at quickly with your tracking skills.”

The adventurer chuckled. “No. I don’t think so.” Though it did sound fun, you weren’t interested in joining. Just admiring. “It would be nice to dance though.”

“Oh, well that is a problem easily remedied.”

Gale stood up. A confident, cheeky smile on his lips as he offered you his hand. “Are you serious?” You asked in jovial disbelief.

“I’m no Wyll Ravengard,” he had clearly seen their Blade practicing his dance moves in an attempt to woe you, but for the sake of their friendship Gale elected not to acknowledge it, “but I can handle a simple box step.”

You grinned, then took his hand and let yourself be pulled into Gale’s arms. One hand linking your offered one together while the other rested at the small of your back. His eyes were completely fixed on you as they started to sway to the music.

The space on the terrace was small. Not a lot of room for anything dramatic in terms of footwork, but plenty of space for Gale’s simple box step. Your head rested on his chest. Lost in the movement and Gale’s scent, coupled with salt & jasmine that miraculously showed up on the windowsill potting plants after you mentioned once that you liked their fragrance. With your ear to his chest you could hear his heartbeat, along with a gentle hum of the music for a song that they can barely hear but Gale seemed to recognize.

You weren’t sure how long they were dancing for before you lifted her head from its spot and leaned up to kiss him. Their dancing stops, along with the music. Although, the music may have still been playing in the background, it simply didn’t matter anymore. Nothing mattered right now except you and Gale.

“It’s dark now.” You were confused for a moment after Gale’s announcement, but then realized that the sun had indeed finally sunk down past the waves. The sky not completely dark but a faded shade of lavender, bleeding into indigo as the lights from the other homes began to freckle the shoreline like stars. “Shall we go inside?”

“Not yet.” This moment felt precious. Like that moment in the Weave they shared and you first realized you had feelings for him. When he realized that you had feelings for him after you let your mind’s eye say what you couldn’t. When they realized they may both have feelings for each other. “Can we stay here a bit longer? Keep dancing?”

Gale smiled and was already starting to sway again when he told her, “Whatever you want my love.”

They dance until the sky & sea became a matching shade to darkness. Melding together like they soon would be. Neither one had to ask. It was clear they both knew where this was going. Still, the couple danced to the music and their own tune for a while longer. Holding to the moment for as long as they could while they held onto each other.

[egeos]

egeos' hulknussen fic recommendations

so, you've heard of haasbands somewhere on tumblr, or maybe instagram, twitter; and want to know what it's all about. here's a list of fics I'd recommend!

I will be referencing the "eras" I divided their meta & fandom history into in my post "a brief look at the history of hulknussen on ao3". you can disregard the eras headlines if you don't care about when the fics are from, but if you have a preference towards one or more of the eras you can use the headlines to navigate.

if you don't feel like scrolling on tumblr, I have organized my bookmarks on ao3 to reflect this post (with some non hulknussen fics rec'd that you can filter out). the bookmarker's tags will include what era a fic falls into so you can filter according to that, as well. fics with a * to them are favourites of favourites. if you could only read a few, these are the ones I would absolutely tell you to read.

disclaimer: I tried my best to only link to fics of authors that were fine with having them referenced elsewhere. if the A/N of a work stated that they did not want the fic to be shared outside of ao3 I did not include it here. if I could find the author's tumblr I took that as a general "fine to link to". if your fic is on this list and I did not link to your tumblr it's because I couldn't find it at first glance; lmk and I'll happily add it! if your fic is on this list and you want it removed you can also let me know anytime, anywhere (even ao3 comments of an unrelated fic) and I'll remove it no questions asked.

hulknussen era: 2014-2017

SERIES: Effortless by F1_Rabbit / @f1rabbit rated g, nawa, total wc of 3.6k nico and kevin comforting each other and getting together —Sleepless, Powerless, Restless

—Up close and personal* by zeraparker / @zeraparker rated m, nawa, oneshot, 1.5k words nico and kevin celebrate nico's le mans win together

"suck my balls" era: 2017-2022

—suck my balls, honey by Pericardiaca / @iishmael rated e, nawa, oneshot, 2.7k words make up sex after hungary

—Relax into my touch, honey by wafflesandpancakes rated e, ccntw, oneshot, 2.5k words nico has a bad race in in germany and kevin comforts him (smut included)

—Not only my language is bi by wafflesandpancakes rated e, ccntw, oneshot, 2.1k words character study ish, mild angst with semi graphic smut. nico has just lost out on the renault and the haas seat (2019) and doesnt know what the future holds for him.

—suck my balls, honey by lewisshamilton / @lewisshamilton rated e, ccntw, 3/3, 11.1k words part of a youtuber au series, but you do not need to read it to get this. the summary calls it "[...] three times Hulk swore himself to not sleep with Kevin again and three times he failed miserably" which pretty much sums it up.

—Polonium* by Anonymous rated t, nawa, oneshot, 1.4k words nico losing his seat leads to kevin and nico's break up. kevin spends the winter break grieving the relationship. angst galore (very good)

—det vil ikke blive nemt men det vil blive det hele værd by wafflesandpancakes rated e, ccntw, oneshot, 3.3k words au; nico is at a business party in denmark, kevin celebrating his graduation. they get to know each other ft smut at the end

—we drift and we call it dreaming* by bottasvaltteri / @bottasvaltteri rated t, nawa, oneshot, 3.3k words kevin runs a tattoo shop with nico as his employee and boyfriend. everything is great, except there is a fantasy world in his head where he drives fast cars and pretends to dislike nico. magical realism and memory loss

—I'm Gonna Turn This Car Around by FunkyinFishnet / @dinomighty rated t, nawa, oneshot, 3.6k words nico somehow ends up giving out relationship advice to the younger guys on the grid, except they always ask for advice when him and kevin are busy. funny and light hearted with background maxiel

enemies-to-lovers era: 2022-2023

—i wanna feel your sugar in my veins by dilftoevsky rated e, ccntw, oneshot, 2.6k words written in '22 but set in '23, au where they didn't make up but still fuck (pwp)

—Sidelined* by degenercurve130R / @silverslipstream rated t, ccntw, oneshot, 3.4k words character study ish, written in '23 but takes place in '21 & '17. both kevin and nico are out of a seat and meet up to drown their feelings about it in beer.

—Full Disclosure, Don't Get Closer* by Anonymous rated m, nawa, oneshot, 1.1k words they're friends/teammates with benefits and kevin feels some things about it

haasbands era: 2024-onwards

—The First Of The Season* by Anonymous rated e, nawa, 1/2, 4.8k words first time/hooking up, lots of chemistry between them, smut later in the first chapter. ongoing, so can't speak on ch2, but would 100% still rec this if it was left unfinished forever or got uploaded as a oneshot

—i love winning, baby, i want it all by flowersarepoisonous / @flowersarepoisonous rated t, nawa, oneshot, 1.2k words written in '24, set in '26. they're both with audi and nico wins his first race. celebrations follow

—baby, why don't you come over? (red wine supernova) by flowersarepoisonous / @flowersarepoisonous rated m, nawa, 1/4, 4k words ongoing, so I can't sum it completely. tags are "fuckbuddies to lovers" and "getting together" which should give you a good feel. spans multiple seasons

—bleuler by cfd rated m, ccntw, oneshot, 3.5k words different scenes of pillow talk centering mental health issues nico has (in this fic not irl) and how they impact the relationship between kevin and nico. warning for implied psychosis, angst

—kevin magnussen? more like kevin wagnussen by flowersarepoisonous / @flowersarepoisonous rated g, nawa, oneshot, 2.5k words kevin gets a race ban for baku and shows up as nico's wag. social media au/outsider pov, fluff, humour