sometimes people will say “going dark” and then what they’re actually talking about is just people no longer presenting a carefully constructed version of their emotions and experiences.
like. emotional turmoil is not the same as darkness. laudna in this Fictional Universe that has tangibly different stakes wrt to death and killing than our own, is at best like . morally neutral for what she just did like. man has been secretly trying to kill you, and then just tried to do so again, killing him back is a fair choice. and even if i was someone who is excited by delilah’s inability to escape from the narrative, this shit isn’t about delilah. laudna made a choice. if delilah is back or whatever it’s a choice that laudna made because something in that grants her more control than her existing conditions did. this isn’t some Delilah Takes Over, it’s Laudna Expressly Makes The Choice To Call Forth Something within Herself to remedy the lack of control that’s been thrust upon her. if y’all want to Continue to limit Laudna’s agency (as the cr fandom is so, so want to do when a female character makes a choice that isn’t Good according to some weird system of virtue ethics) go ahead.
likewise with orym. little guy is not “going dark” because he has finally made direct action about his emotional turmoil in dealing with a situation which has similarly left him without control and has also placed him in a position where his stalwart conviction towards protecting and honouring those he loves and has lost alike is constantly met with other people he cares for going well.. what if they had a point/we are killing other peoples loved ones/etc. which like . yeah that might be frustrating and in fact might lead him to go, actually, i can’t afford to try and maintain some abject morality where I carry a locket that will literally only provide guilt. orym is completely committed to his beliefs, the locket and what it represents has never been a limit to what he will do, only a reminder of the consequences of what he might cause in those actions. but they Are at war and orym has a billion things on his plate. he can put down the locket. especially when bor’dor is the explicit manifestation of that locket’s symbolism. the subtext rapidly became the text and orym doesn’t need a reminder. it’s there in the fact that team issylra is walking away with two friends, not three.
these are character who have at every turn denied their own emotions in various forms while still being acutely aware of what they deny, whether that awareness was/is fully realized or not. many of laudna’s early convos with ashton show us that there is some awareness to the lighthearted spooky goth girl and how that persona fades when she thinks too much about what has led her and maintained that reality. likewise the entirety of orym’s story thus far is defined by his grief in a very literal sense, it Has extended from that grief to also the commitment he had to the purpose of figuring out the assassination attempt on keyleth but as we have seen, that purpose has fallen apart. paired with the quasi-reopening of his grief that was getting to see will again only to have to turn away, i don’t think there’s a lack of awareness in orym of how much he hurts. but between his actions and 4SD, that hurt tends to get buried under guilt or Responsibility.
and now, finally, both of them have admitted to that Not in the safety of small introspection or one-on-one conversations but with actions that they cannot shy away from or deny. laudna killed bor’dor and orym encouraged her to. and it Is a complex situation but truly I don’t really think it’s a “going dark” one. because they’re not giving into some overhanging Darkness of Morality™, they’re admitting that they are hurt and have long been hurting.
or, y’know, tldr for those who continue to deny laudna and orym agency or fully villainise them for whatever weird reasons . you could listen to laudna and ashton’s conversation that pretty much lays it out explicitly. laudna claims she’s weak for having chosen to kill bor’dor. ashton denies that and affirms instead that, no, she’s hurt.
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"It seems like I've made matters worse." - lennox&one
𝐒𝐥𝐞𝐞𝐩𝐲 𝐇𝐨𝐥𝐥𝐨𝐰 𝐚𝐬𝐤𝐬 | 𝘈𝘤𝘤𝘦𝘱𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨 @xcedia
Lennox is sitting against a bench, her back turned toward the older woman. Together, the two stand outside a POLICE BOX sitting on the edge of somewhere distant and far away. Her hands grip her coat lapels, and she quietly looks off towards a distant peak, somewhere far away. She stands there awkwardly, silver hair spiked from a bedhead look she can never tame. Her face is caught in a more numb, yet still ever-perpetual scowl. Although she isn't scowling at anything in particular, her face just looks like that. Absent and always observant, eyes narrow and rigid, brows squeezed low in an almost intimidating manner. Like her guard is always raised.
However, her guard starts to chip a little bit at the sounds of sniffling that Lennox makes whilst her back is turned toward The Doctor. Again, very awkwardly, The Doctor fidgets in place very softly, almost timidly. She swallows a lump in her throat, rendered speechless by the very blatant sign of trust Lennox is placing in the elder by showing such vulnerability. It suddenly renders The Doctor ashamed of any prior outbursts made at her throughout the day. The breakdown paints a specific picture for The Elder
What started as a mild curiosity in an ordinary junkyard has spun into some great and wild cosmic adventure. Suddenly, The Doctor isn't quite sure she's truly realized just how much emotional strain Lennox and Niko go through on a daily basis. Or Stella for that matter. The Doctor exhales quietly and makes a reply in the form of a very awkward clearing of her throat. "A-herhm... Yes, Quite... Well..." She suddenly winces, "I mean! Well, no not quite." She sighs, frustrated by her own nerves, but she eventually sucks in a deep breath to prepare herself... and circles over to sit next to Lennox on the bench.
"No, my dear... It seems once again... perhaps I have... rather gone and made a muck-up of things, too." She scowls at the sky and shakes a fist lightly before her frown melts into a rather forlorn and sympathetic one. "All of this is my fault, my dear." She looked down at the ground for a moment, gripping softly at her thigh. "I should... never have forced you and Niko to... have to uproot your lives like that." She curled her fingers slightly as if she was gripping lightly at the air... before she made full fists and rested them against her knees. "I don't... quite know what came over me... except that... maybe I was afraid." She finally looked toward Lennox, slightly pouting.
"Stella and I... have... lost the right to return to our home. A choice I made for the both of us and I'm sure Stella resents me for..." She assumes feelings she can not back up, but clearly shows regret at such a statement before showing some somber determination, "But... There... was no choice in the matter. Perhaps one day we will return, perhaps." The Doctor cries out softly before resting a fist against her chest, "Whatever our many variety of reasons for leaving were, though..." She explains, before looking down and sighing heavily. "It was no excuse."
"No excuse to uproot either of you from your very lives." The Doctor looks towards Lennox finally, resting a hand on her shoulder softly. "I'm... sorry for that." She used her free hand to make a fist between them. "But... Now, I must no longer be scared of the mistakes I have made, because now I am confident in my new choice... my new goal;" Her gaze softens, "To return you two home.... and in order to do that... I must be brave, confident of myself and my choices..."
She holds her free hand open, smiling softly.
"Be brave with me, my dear."
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List of organizations and fundraisers you can donate to to help Sudan:
The numbers are simply to help me keep track of how many links I've added since tumblr has a 100 link limit on posts.
Most of these links will take you the posts I've made about these fundraisers that provide brief summaries so you can check for verification and see where your money is going.
‼️ indicates that a fundraiser has experienced a decrease in donations or has been without donations for some time
Last progress update done on Aug. 9th 2024
Sudanese American physicians association
Sudanese American Medical Association
Doctors Without Borders (MSF)
Save the Children
Sudan Solidarity Collective
Sudan diaspora networks Sudan benefit fundraiser
Darfur Women Action Group
Fight Hunger in Sudan: The Khartoum Kitchen appeal
Nas Al Sudan
Twitter thread with actions that can be taken to support Sudan
Sadeia
Help Sudan- Sudan Relief Fund
Relief and Rehabilitation for Disabilities Support (HRRDS)
Sara's (Bsonblast) link tree for Sudan
One Million Sustainable Pads Campaign (€42,744/€200,000 - VERY low on funds) ‼️
Sunduq Al Sudan - support grassroots organizations in Sudan
School Supplies for Sudan - $10,000$10,016/$10,000 raised
Save El Geneina initiative
Food Baskets in Sudan
Takaful
Action Against Hunger
Mutual Aim team fundraiser for Congo, Sudan, and Tigray ($39,223/$35,000)
Help house a homeless disabled Sudani in London (£4,158/£4,500) ‼️
Emergency Fund for Sudanese Family ($24,271 CAD/$25,000 CAD) ‼️
Help us escape the war in Sudan $55,210 raised
Help Sajida and her family evacuate from Sudan ($37,953 CAD/$50,000 CAD) ‼️
Help Eman and her family evacuate (£38,573/CHF38,475) ‼️
Help Eman's extended family evacuate ($1,126/$30,000 - VERY low on funds) ‼️
Help Randa's family evacuate Sudan (€20,375/€27,000) ‼️
Support Sakina's Family's Journey to Safety ($10,030/$10,000)
Help Sudanese refugees stranded in Ethiopia (£38,573/£30,000)
Help Aalaa evacuate and get treatment for her mother ($13,525/$20,000 - VERY low on funds)
Support a Community Stuck In Sudan ($22,872/$40,000 - VERY low on funds)
Save Omiama's eyesight (€5,225/€14,725) ‼️
Help Abudjana rebuild after war (£3,195/£5,000) ‼️
Help a Sudanese student finish med school ($2,170/$2,500) ‼️
Help a family of 13 evacuate Sudan ($1,780/$20,000 - VERY low on funds) ‼️
Help Refugee’s escape Sudan Conflict ($14,109 CAD/$31,000 CAD - VERY low on funds) ‼️
Safe Passage ممر آمن- Help a mom and her kids escape war ($6,299 CAD/$7,000 CAD) ‼️
Help Medical Students in Sudan (€1,586/€350,000 - VERY lowonfunds) ‼️
Help Mujtaba's Family Escape the war in Sudan ($5,775/$18,527 - VERY low on funds) ‼️
Help Raise Money for Displaced Sudanese Families in Egypt this Eid
Amal for Women
Help dialysis patients in Sudan
Help Yumna's Family Escape War in Sudan - $5,066/$5,000 raised
Sudan Emergency Appeal
Help Mehad's Family Fly to Hope ($2,493/$5,000 - VERY low on funds) ‼️
Medical and sanitary supplies to support women & children in Congo, Nigeria, and Sudan ($420 CAD/$3,000 CAD - VERY low on funds) ‼️
Help Sudanese Families escape from war (€10,351/€50,000 - VERY low on funds)
Help ThomaSerena recover from war (€1,814/€5,000 - VERY low on funds) ‼️
Help Asjad and her Family Escape War in Sudan ($16,915/$20,000)
Help support families impacted by war (supporting the Basmat Wasal, Sameh Makki kitchen appeal, and medical supplies for Northern State hospital initiatives) (£59,133/£80,000)
Emergency aid for Ahmeds family to escape warzone in Sudan (£3,727/£10,000 - VERY low on funds) ‼️
Help A Family Flee Sudan’s War (£732/£10,000 - VERY low on funds) ‼️
Support families in Kalma IDP camp - £16,170/£16,000 raised
Help a Sudanese Doctor Continue her Education in Egypt ($3,232 AUD/$9,100 AUD - VERY low on funds) ‼️
Support financial aid for Gezira medical students in sudan (£1,347/£2,000) ‼️
Asala's family - evacuation and medical treatment ($4,777/$30,000 - VERY low on funds) ‼️
Help a Sudanese family flee war and afford medical funds (€3,242/€13,000 - VERY low on funds) ‼️
Sudan Children's Cancer Organization ($16,739/$55,000 - VERY low on funds) ‼️
Support for Sudanese Refugees in Cairo ($6,050/$25,000 - VERY low on funds) ‼️
Support for family affected by recent events in Sennar paypal campaign ended - $2,514/$20,000 raised
Help Salma's family get to safety (£3,465/£6,000) ‼️
Bring Mohammad Esa's family back together (£1,345/£3,700 - VERY low on funds) ‼️
Help two medical students evacuate Sudan with their family ($754/$45,000 - VERY low on funds) ‼️
Help Nour Rebuild Her Life and Career (£551/£5,000 - VERY low on funds) ‼️
Help a displaced family escape Sudan Genocide (£10,683/£30,000 - VERY low on funds)
Support Muhammad's Artistic Journey Amid Sudan's Turmoil ($2,679/$25,000 - VERY low on funds) ‼️
10K for Sudan famine relief, organized by AUC_SICC ($8,317/10,000)
Al Geneina Trauma Center Gfm shut down Al Geneina's campaign, please see other ways to donate here
Support Alaa, her husband, and their children (£4,516/£5,000) ‼️
Help Yousif and his family evacuate ($35/$15,000 - VERY low on funds) ‼️
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