#//Really this ask is meant to shoutout my friends fuck

[unboundtravels]

"It seems like I've made matters worse." - lennox&one

𝐒𝐥𝐞𝐞𝐩𝐲 𝐇𝐨𝐥𝐥𝐨𝐰 𝐚𝐬𝐤𝐬 | 𝘈𝘤𝘤𝘦𝘱𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨 @xcedia

Lennox is sitting against a bench, her back turned toward the older woman. Together, the two stand outside a POLICE BOX sitting on the edge of somewhere distant and far away. Her hands grip her coat lapels, and she quietly looks off towards a distant peak, somewhere far away. She stands there awkwardly, silver hair spiked from a bedhead look she can never tame. Her face is caught in a more numb, yet still ever-perpetual scowl. Although she isn't scowling at anything in particular, her face just looks like that. Absent and always observant, eyes narrow and rigid, brows squeezed low in an almost intimidating manner. Like her guard is always raised.

However, her guard starts to chip a little bit at the sounds of sniffling that Lennox makes whilst her back is turned toward The Doctor. Again, very awkwardly, The Doctor fidgets in place very softly, almost timidly. She swallows a lump in her throat, rendered speechless by the very blatant sign of trust Lennox is placing in the elder by showing such vulnerability. It suddenly renders The Doctor ashamed of any prior outbursts made at her throughout the day. The breakdown paints a specific picture for The Elder

What started as a mild curiosity in an ordinary junkyard has spun into some great and wild cosmic adventure. Suddenly, The Doctor isn't quite sure she's truly realized just how much emotional strain Lennox and Niko go through on a daily basis. Or Stella for that matter. The Doctor exhales quietly and makes a reply in the form of a very awkward clearing of her throat. "A-herhm... Yes, Quite... Well..." She suddenly winces, "I mean! Well, no not quite." She sighs, frustrated by her own nerves, but she eventually sucks in a deep breath to prepare herself... and circles over to sit next to Lennox on the bench.

"No, my dear... It seems once again... perhaps I have... rather gone and made a muck-up of things, too." She scowls at the sky and shakes a fist lightly before her frown melts into a rather forlorn and sympathetic one. "All of this is my fault, my dear." She looked down at the ground for a moment, gripping softly at her thigh. "I should... never have forced you and Niko to... have to uproot your lives like that." She curled her fingers slightly as if she was gripping lightly at the air... before she made full fists and rested them against her knees. "I don't... quite know what came over me... except that... maybe I was afraid." She finally looked toward Lennox, slightly pouting.

"Stella and I... have... lost the right to return to our home. A choice I made for the both of us and I'm sure Stella resents me for..." She assumes feelings she can not back up, but clearly shows regret at such a statement before showing some somber determination, "But... There... was no choice in the matter. Perhaps one day we will return, perhaps." The Doctor cries out softly before resting a fist against her chest, "Whatever our many variety of reasons for leaving were, though..." She explains, before looking down and sighing heavily. "It was no excuse."

"No excuse to uproot either of you from your very lives." The Doctor looks towards Lennox finally, resting a hand on her shoulder softly. "I'm... sorry for that." She used her free hand to make a fist between them. "But... Now, I must no longer be scared of the mistakes I have made, because now I am confident in my new choice... my new goal;" Her gaze softens, "To return you two home.... and in order to do that... I must be brave, confident of myself and my choices..." 

She holds her free hand open, smiling softly.

"Be brave with me, my dear."

[maybege]

How It All Started

Summary: Things between you and your roommate, Paz, escalate.

Pairing: roommate!Paz Vizsla x fem!Reader

Wordcount: 2.1k | Rating: E (18+ only!)

Warnings: Modern AU, Free Use Arrangement AU, Roommate AU, explicit sexual content, unprotected sex, (un)requited pining, dom!Paz, sub!Reader, Paz is an idiot in love (they both are), little bit of jealous Paz

Hello hello, my loves, and welcome to the start of a brand new series! This will be a drabble series with no strung-together plot but just the opportunity to dabble in this universe whenever I feel like it. We get to explore some different kinks and all the goodness and fluff of a Paz romance. If you are liking the idea of roommate!Paz paired with a Free Use AU, I can guarantee that you will absolutely fall in love with The Roommate Agreement by @bitchin-beskar. As always also a shoutout to @mostly-megan who lets me brainstorm literally months before I put anything on the page.

Without further ado, I present to you the introductory part of The Adventures of Apartment 23C. Please let me know what you think in a reblog or a comment!

masterlist | crossposted on AO3

gif by @casian

Paz never saw himself as a dom.

Yeah, sure, he liked to be in charge in the bedroom and in previous relationships he’d never been shy to venture into a kinkier direction but overall, he wouldn’t call himself a dom. Hell, he didn’t even know what half of the stuff meant that some of his more adventurous friends threw around. No, for all intents and purposes, Paz would put himself in the category “normal” – whatever that was supposed to mean.

But one Thursday night, he found himself googling “free use meaning” and realized that if he were to tell Boba about what he might’ve gotten himself into, even his most experienced friend would be impressed. So, how had it come this?

It was all your fault, really. Well, kind of.

Maybe not at all.

*

You had been his roommate for a little over two years now.

Stars, he liked the way your body moved, liked the dips and the curves and your smile and how your eyes shone when you smiled and how you were such a tease because you trusted him. When he first met you, his first impression had been that you were a little … stuck-up, maybe, reserved certainly. And to be honest, you still weren’t super open and outgoing even around your friends.

But you were with him.

You flashed him your panties, called out his big dick energy (not without a nervous stutter, though, which made him grin every time), asked him for advice on dates and complained. Really, it was like any normal friendship. Only that he wanted to fuck you. And when you flashed him your panties one time too many, he was sure you wanted him to fuck you too.

Which he did.

It was more of an accident, really.

It was 3 pm on a Sunday evening, everything was nice and quiet and he was watching a football game when you came out of your room. You were wearing a little silk robe. One, that Paz feverishly tried not to gawk at and instead pretended to have his eyes on the game.

“I need your opinion on something,” you announced shyly, leaning against the doorframe, “As a man.”

Man opinion, he scoffed internally, already feeling his cock twitch because he knew you were about to show him something that would haunt him in his dreams. But he nodded anyway because he was a lovesick idiot who would do anything to just get a glimpse of your bare skin.

And so, you revealed the most delicate baby pink lingerie set made out of lace. His throat got uncomfortably dry and he couldn’t even focus on the point his team made because you were turning around, popping out your ass, posing for him and stars he wanted to feel the weight of your tits in his palms.

“What about it?” He asked gruffly, trying so hard not to sound as jealous as he was.

“Do you think Dreks will like it?” you asked and he hated how genuinely insecure you sounded.

Dreks was the ultimate asshole, of that he was sure. He’d only met the guy once when he had come to pick you up for a date (35 minutes late, which meant that Paz had seen you pacing and worrying for 35 minutes and it broke his heart) and if he’d never had to see him again it’d still be too many encounters.

Dreks was someone you had worked with briefly, a kind of department hopper in your company, someone who thought himself to be more important than he was and who, in turn, was quick to treat people who did not deserve it like absolute trash. Paz had no idea what you found so interesting about your colleague that it deserved a third date.

But before he could rein himself in, the words were already out of his mouth. “You’re not wearing that,” he said, matter-of-factly. He wanted to chide himself immediately because who was he to decide what you wore? Who was he to decide who you dated?

But there was something in your eyes and the way your shoulders relaxed that kind of gave him the impression that maybe … maybe you liked that.

“Oh?” you went quiet, your fingers toying with the thin strap of your bra and Paz allowed himself to really look at you. The lace of the bra was so delicate you might as well have worn nothing and his cock twitched when he realised he could see your nipples through the fabric. He could see so much and yet so little and his mind immediately imagined what it would feel like to run his thick fingers under the cups of the brad, teasing your nipples until you would beg him to take it off and –

“Don’t you want me to wear pretty things?”

He groaned, your sweet voice like heaven in his ears and stars did you even know what you were saying? Did you know what that did to him?

And then you took a few steps closer and his legs opened and you stepped in between and stars, you were so fucking close and he was so hard. When your knee brushed against the inside of his thigh, he could feel his cock twitch.

“Yeah,” he said, reaching out his hand and putting it on your hip, “But only for me.”

He couldn’t really remember what happened then. Only that, minutes later, you were folded underneath him, writhing as he pushed his cock inside you.

“Paz,” you sighed dreamily and he swore he fell in love with the sight of your pussy stretching around his girth, “Paz, you’re so big.”

“It’s okay, sweetheart,” he soothed you, “just relax for me, yeah?”

You nodded eagerly, head tilted back as the sun fell over your face and he, for all intents and purposes, fucked you into the couch. He was still half dressed, his shirt thrown over the couch and his jeans barely pulled down to his hips. Your panties were still hanging on your ankles and he had not managed to get you out of that bra. Though he did not mind because you still looked like a dream come true.

You felt like a dream too, your walls hot and wet and clenching so tight around him. And then there was the way, you melted into him, you listened to him. Everything he said, you did. You were pliant and eager and so lovely and when he teased you about coming inside “that pretty little pussy”, you actually came right on his cock, overwhelmed tears streaming down your face as you begged him to “please do it, Paz, please please please”.

He came harder than ever before, his cock pumping you full and it satisfied something deep inside him to see the way his come leaked down your thighs and how you opened your mouth for him when he scooped your combined release up, dropping it onto your tongue.

The “good girl” that slipped from his tongue just felt like natural progress, then.

*

After a few (excruciating) days of not talking to you, Paz realized that as much as he had avoided you, you had avoided him. But hearing your muffled cries, there was no more time to be a coward.

“Are you okay?” he asked, feeling a little awkward standing in your doorway. But he also could not not talk to you. You were one of the most important people in his life, literally, a person he shared his life with.  

“It’s over between me and Dreks,” you sobbed while hugging a pillow to your chest, “Th-That asshole better never show his face again.”

His heart felt a little lighter, knowing that Dreks was officially out of the picture. Though a much bigger part of him was furious at the man for leaving you in such a state.

“Oh,” he shifted on his feet, “Do, uh, do you want to talk about it?”

You shook your head, “I just feel so humiliated and – and stupid and he – I – “

Paz sat down on your bed, knowing you well enough to know that you wanted to talk about it. He sat down, his hands fishing the pillow from your grasp and pulling you into his arms. He could immediately feel you relax, your face nuzzling into his chest.

“I found something was missing in … in our relationship,” you revealed and he hummed, “And when he mentioned becoming exclusive, I asked him if he’d be willing to, uh, indulge me, he laughed at me.”

Paz could not shake the feeling that that missing piece was something rather intimate which already had him panicked thinking of how to steer the conversation in a more appropriate direction. Stars knew if he thought too long about you in any intimate setting he’d get hard as a rock.

Especially now that he knew what you felt like, that he knew what you sounded like, that he knew how pliant you were for him. But then he heard the pain in your voice, how beaten down you felt and he knew there was only one solution.

“I’m gonna beat that son of a bitch to a pulp,” he muttered and stood up. Dreks had always been on thin ice anyway but upsetting you was the last straw. That meagre man would live his last moments in fear, regretting every time he had treated you with disrespect.

“No, please,” your hands wrapped around his bicep and pulled him back down. And he let himself be pulled because it was you. And there was nothing he would not do for you. You were much closer now, still sniffling a little and he became highly aware of how you were only wearing a large t-shirt, your bare legs tangled around his.

“How dare he treat you like that?” he demanded gruffly, “Not liking something is one thing but, uh, shaming you for something you’d like? That’s just an asshole move.”

You nodded eagerly. “It is,” you agreed quietly, splaying your fingers until your fingertips brushed over his jaw, “It just went to show what I was too scared to admit to myself.”

Paz hummed, relishing in your touch. He angled himself towards you, heart skipping a beat in what suspiciously felt like …. hope. “And that is?”

“That we weren’t all that compatible all along,” you whispered, “I have, uh, I have needs and I deserve someone who, uh, who fulfils them.”

“Needs, hm?” he teased you, running his nose along your exposed throat and hearing your breath shudder did things go him, “that wouldn’t have anything to do with what happened in the living room the other night?”

“Maybe a little,” you breathed, your hand wandering up to the back of his neck and you tilted your head, offering yourself to him and stars how did he get so lucky?

“Have you, um, have you ever heard of free use?” you asked him shyly, gasping when he planted a slow kiss on your neck.

He shook his head, still nipping at your skin.

When you did not say anything more, he pulled away.

“Well, it’s, uh,” you took a deep breath, avoiding his gaze and instead looking at the far-right corner of the ceiling, “it’s something that really interests me. And … if you’re amenable, I’d like to try that. With you.”

He still didn’t say anything.

“You know, like a friends-with-benefits kind of thing?”

“Hm.”

He knew he should probably say more and he did want to assure you that he wanted to do that. With you. Hell, yes.

But for some reason, all he could do was stare and awe at your courage, at your confidence, at how you were sitting there in your lounge outfit and still looked like the most beautiful person he’d ever seen. Stars, he really wanted to make you come again.

“Let me,” he cleared his throat, sitting up and spreading his legs which was not something he was aware of until he saw your eyes drift to his crotch and there it was again – that cocky continence that popped up whenever he saw you a little flustered. “Let me do some research, sweetheart, and we will talk about it some more, okay?”

“Okay,” you smiled shyly, untangling yourself from him though he still followed you like a puppy when you pulled him to the kitchen, “Dinner?”

*

And that was how he found himself in front of his laptop, reading some explanatory article on free use and getting hard as a rock at the idea that you wanted that with him. But if there was one thing he knew it was that he would make you come several times a day if he only got the chance.

[seokjins-luigi]

i hate everything about you | pt. 1 | pjm

・pairing: ex!jimin x ex!f!reader

・genre: exes to lovers | a lot of angst | a slightly little bit of a love triangle

18+

・word count: 6.7k

・summary: accidentally, you bump into your ex who, mind you, previously cheated on you. so you're 99% sure the only feeling you have left for him is sheer hate. but the 1% leaves you questioning.

・banner: by the amazing @kookdiaries

・A/N: firstly, i want to wish our baby mochi the happiest of birthdays! i really wanted to have something to post on his birthday, since i couldn't do it for any of our other boys this year ):

i also want to say that i'm really happy/surprised with the huge amount of attention the teaser for this fic got! i felt so inspired, thank you all for taking your time to share it and to talk to me about it too !! <3

i hope you enjoy this first part and i promise i won't take too long to put out part 2! here's a playlist for y'all to play as you read it, if you want to hehe also shoutout to the anon who asked for the black haired jimin header back lol this one's for you

as always, thank you to my fave person @primadonnasdream. without her, i would never be able to write any of my stories.

feedback is always appreciated, sweeties 💜

・permanent taglist: @goldenhoney-cas @yuugehn

・taglist: @imluckybitches @bbtsficrecs @minijagiya @jackinthethroat @arckyive @chimchimmarie @bex-92br @rkvi @hoseok666 @joonsytip @callmejimmeo @koreanaestheticc

There are about eighteen thousand bars in Seoul. You know this because you’ve just googled it. Out of curiosity? Not really. Just because you couldn’t wrap your head around the fact that out of all the bars in Seoul, all the eighteen thousand bars in Seoul, Jungkook had to pick the one where your ex is currently working. 

Not to blame it on Jungkook, poor guy. There was no way in hell he could know this and you’re sure that if you told him, he’d be crushed, since, according to him, he’s been trying to muster up the courage to ask you out for months. To be fair, you didn’t even know Jimin had left his partner, Seokjin, and his own bar to start working behind the counter again. Not that it's any of your business, anyway. He can go to hell for all you care, especially after dumping your ass three days before your four year anniversary for some random girl he met on that stupid fucking bar of his.

That fucking stupid bar he clearly didn’t even own anymore. Joke’s on him.

It broke your heart in a way you’re not sure it’s ever going to heal. He meant the world to you, all that butterfly bullshit and everything. When he left you, it felt like your world was falling to pieces. You shared a life, even shared a home. A small apartment near his stupid fucking bar, you were so happy when you two finally moved in together. 

Building intimacy takes time, compromising to someone else’s well being and happiness costs more than only your time. Learning how to share your space, your insecurities, your feelings, your everyday life. That shit takes time. Giving yourself to a person takes more than that. It takes courage. 

You gave all of that and much more to Park Jimin. But you regret doing so with every fiber of your being. Learning to live your life again without having him in it was one of the hardest things you’ve had to do so far.

You had your share of revenge after fucking his best friend, Taehyung, and making sure to tell him about it when you went to your apartment to get his stuff back. If you felt like shit, you had to try to make him feel at least one percent of the heartbreak you had been feeling. After that, you heard that he and Taehyung got into a physical fight and had cut ties. 

It was definitely not a very peaceful break up experience, both of you were extremely proud people and could not stand losing. It took you a great amount of therapy sessions in order to stop dreaming and thinking about him 24/7. 

Do you still believe in love after that? You’re not sure, probably not, but it doesn’t mean you can’t have some fun. Jungkook was a very sweet and flirty distraction in the middle of your heartbreak. Not to mention the guy is hot as fuck, but right now, you swear you could just punch him in the face. 

Because out of all the bars in Seoul, here you are. At the one your fucking nasty ex boyfriend works in. 

As soon as you walked in, you felt something was off with this one. It felt like the universe itself was trying to spare you from this experience. Of course, you didn’t listen to your intuition, especially because Jungkook told you a friend of his has been talking wonders about the drinks from this specific bar. 

Once you looked over at the bar, you saw him. For a split second, you froze. He looked as gorgeous as ever, dark locks obscuring his eyes from where you could see. You didn't allow yourself to feel any type of way with the sight of him, you were over him, you definitely didn't want to go back to the pit where you recently came out of, thank you very much. He was too busy with whatever he was doing at the moment to notice you, fortunately. You just rushed over to Jungkook, locking your arms out of nervousness, leaving him quite giddy about it. 

Did you ask him to leave and look for another place to spend the night? No. 

Should you have done so? Maybe.

But you wouldn't deny yourself the satisfaction of showing Jungkook off to him in the place Jimin works. It didn't matter that only looking at him made you miss him more than words can ever say, you know that he’d feel pissed out of his mind. You’d deal with your feelings some other time.

“Looks nice, huh?” Jungkook asks you with a sweet smile hanging on his pierced lips, bringing you back to planet Earth.

You nod faintly, showing him a warm smile. 

“There's a balcony back there, do you see it?” He asks again, holding your hand now. You weren’t even able to react to Jungkook’s gestures properly, you were too lost in your thoughts about Jimin. “It’s got a very nice view of the city, if anything, we can take some nice photos here. You look hot, by the way”.

“Oh- I- Thanks, Jungkook. You too, by the way”, you tried smirking. “A-Are we getting a table or what?”

You usually don’t get thrown off by his compliments. You love when it happens, of course, but you’re usually good at flirting, you see he gets slightly puzzled as to why would you react like that all of a sudden.  

“Are you okay, Y/n?” He asks you, caressing the back of your hand with his thumb, a little concern can be sensed in his voice tone. 

“Of course! Why do you ask?” You reply, tilting your head a bit, trying to sound convincingly confused. 

You would not simply ruin your date by mentioning your ex boyfriend is the bartender he’s been listening compliments about.  

“Nevermind… Why don’t you go ahead and grab us a spot on the balcony? I’ll do the honors and order our drinks. Any preferences?”

“Surprise me”, you challenge him, squeezing his hand before letting go of it, still trying to hold the confident demeanor he’s used to. 

You head over to the balcony, not really looking over at the bar, trying your best to forget about the fact that Jimin was here and could notice you’re here too at any moment. The most annoying thing about this situation is that you’re feeling too nervous about seeing him. Much more than you should be.

So what Jimin is here? You’re over him, remember? Get your shit together. You’re here with Jungkook, enjoy your date.

You try distracting yourself by scrolling on your social media, not really paying attention to anything in particular, just trying to keep your mind away from Jimin. You can’t really understand why you feel almost shaky, maybe that’s how your body reacts to someone you hate. 

You only had the courage to look into his direction again when you felt Jungkook was coming back to your table, with a warm expression adorning his beautiful features, holding two drinks in his hands. It would have been the beginning of a nice date, if you couldn’t see Jimin’s eyes shooting daggers in your direction from above Jungkook’s shoulder. 

Yes, he’s seen you already. Of course he’s seen you. 

Naturally, since you noticed Jimin’s eyes on you, you were simply not able to relax. Jungkook was acting like his normal charming self, completely unaware of what was going on inside your head. You simply nodded whenever it felt like he was waiting for a reply from you.

“Why are you nodding? Did you hear what I said?” He asks you, with an embarrassed half smile, making you feel slightly guilty for not giving him the attention he deserves.

Damn you, Park Jimin.

“Sorry, Kook, I zoned out for a second. What was the question again?”

“I said the restrooms here are amazing and that you should see it”, he repeats himself, pointing to the drink in front of you, he continues. “I need to use the toilet again, by the way, do you want another mimosa?”

“Oh, sure. Thanks”, you reply with a gentle smile, the nicest one you could flash at him.

You honestly liked him. He was a very good person, from what you could tell. Unfortunately, you completely lost the focus on this date, maybe it was your fight or flight instincts taking over your thoughts, but the only thing you could think about was Jimin’s burning gaze on you and how badly you wanted to escape.

You were pretty sure you got over him, he’s your past. That’s a fact. He is past, there’s no other way. The idea that he can look at you like you’re doing something wrong by moving on with your life makes you feel livid, that’s all there is to it. 

He’s always had the talent to make everything be about him, but this time around it genuinely pisses you off. This whole situation was actually just a coincidence, he’s the one needing to get over himself.

“So, who’s the idol wannabe?” A voice startles you.

A voice you know all too well.

Following the sound of this voice with your eyes, you contemplate the one and only Park Jimin, the man who cheated on you. The once love of your life. You refuse to allow his presence to affect you in any type of way, though.

“Idol wannabe?” You snort, crossing your arms in front of your chest. “Oh, you mean my date? Wow, Mini, you sound so frustrated when you put it like that… Cause, you know, you’re an ex idol wannabe too”.

“Very funny, babe. Who’s the guy?” He jerks his head in the direction Jungkook went, with an authoritative expression on his face.

Like he had any right to be asking you questions about your life. 

“What’s that, Mini? A public jealousy display?” You figured the best way to deal with him was by not giving him what he wants.

“Isn't that what you wanted bringing him to the place I work?”

“I can’t believe- Why do you think I care about how you feel or don’t feel, Park Jimin-ssi?” You blurt out, trying to keep your composure as much as possible. The last thing you want is to make a scene. “It’s funny that you think I’d give myself the trouble to make you feel jealous. I didn't even know you left The Wave”.

“And you expect me to believe that?” He cocks his brows, eyes not leaving your face. “You're a character, Y/l/n Y/n-ssi”.

“As I’ve stated before, Park Jimin-ssi, I do not care about anything that’s related to you anymore. I’m sorry if my presence here feels like an insult or whatever, but, you know… You should have moved on with your life by now too”, as you spit these words at him, you see his eyes flickering with an indignation he would not be allowed to lash out the way you know he wants to, because, after all, this is where he works. “So, if you excuse me, my date can come back at any second and I have no interest in letting him know you’re my ex”.

He grimaced, not uttering another word. That is so unlike him, it’s funny... and kind of weird. He has quite the explosive demeanor and you know you were kind of harsh to him right now. You almost feel guilty, but then you remember how humiliating it was finding out about his infidelity.

What he made you go through was way worse. 

Placing a Daiquiri glass in front of you on the table, he smirks, but you see his smile does not really meet his eyes, covered by a darker cloak you couldn’t actually explain where it came from. 

“Alright, Y/n-ssi. Here’s your drink”, bowing to you, as he takes his leave. “You’re looking as gorgeous as ever. Good luck with your idol boy”. 

“Jimin-ssi, that’s not really what we ordered”, you raise your voice tone slightly, just so you made sure he could hear you.

“Oh, I know, babe. But we both know you’re not really much of a mimosa woman”, he answers, the irony lying underneath every single one of the words that came out of his mouth, turning to you again. “I know you very well, unlike your date, apparently. Don’t worry, this one’s a little more expensive, so, it’s on me”.

He blinks at you, turning on his heels again, this time around not taking another glance in your direction again, leaving you with an almost bittersweet taste in your mouth, that only goes away when you see Jungkook’s smile getting near you again. 

He sits in front of you again and you honestly don’t understand how you allowed Jimin to get under your skin for even a split second. Jungkook was everything you could ask for a guy to be: stunning, into you and not your complicated ex.

“A daiquiri?” He asks you in a gentle tone, knitting his brows together. “Sorry, I guess the bartender didn't understand what I said”.

“No. It’s fine, I’ve started drinking this one already”, you state.

It’s kind of cute that he paid attention to you to a degree in which he noticed the drink you were having. He’s a sweetheart, but Jimin was right, at the end of the day. You’re not much of a mimosa girl. 

“Don't worry, he’s the one who made the mistake… I’m sure he’ll bring you a new one”, Jungkook turns in what you know is Jimin's direction, with his right arm raised, gesturing for him to come over to your table. Then, he turns back to you, with a sweet smile hanging from his pierced lips. “He’s coming”.

Jungkook calling him over was something you simply didn't expect to happen, you didn't have time to react, to think about something to say or for a reason to stop him. You figured you couldn’t have a very strong reaction here, since for all that matters to your date, this guy is just the bartender, not your ex-boyfriend from a relationship that ended really badly. 

Naturally, it doesn’t take Jimin more than ten seconds to get to you, and knowing Jimin, he would stop anything he was doing so he could come over and be petty, if possible. 

“Can I help you?” You hear his voice, but refuse to turn your head in his direction.

You know he’s looking at you, though.

“We have actually ordered a mimosa, but, maybe there was some confusion, and we ended up getting a daiquiri instead. I was wondering if there’s something we can do about it”, Jungkook had both sides of his mouth turned up in a likeable smile, as he gazed in Jimin’s direction. 

You know Jungkook’s niceness would only piss Jimin off even more. 

“Oh, yes, the daiquiri. There’s no mistake, actually”, Jimin mimics the smile Jungkook flashed at him, but you know his isn't a heartfelt one. “I think it suits her better than a mimosa. Anything else?”

“I’m sorry?” Your date’s brows snapped together and the niceness in his smile dissolved into disbelief. “How did you come to a conclusion about the type of drink she prefers?”

“Oh, believe me, I know it”, Jimin snapped back, in a controlled tone. 

Jungkook’s eyes darted in your direction, kind of looking for some sort of endorsement to what he was saying to Jimin, obviously baffled by the boldness of this guy. He, obviously, didn’t find the same kind of expression on your features. It didn’t take him too long to understand that something was off, in a split second, you saw the realization dawning in his face.

You felt cold to your bones, concentrating on using every single bit of what was left from your self control in order not to run away from this bar and leave both of them bickering over the goddamned daiquiri.

“Well, she seems pleased with your choice of drink”, Jungkook tried, clearing his throat. “Thank you for your service, I guess. Keep up with the good work”.

Jimin bows to Jungkook and then to you. 

The atmosphere Jimin leaves behind is so heavy you can almost touch it, you feel the air weighing all around you and Jungkook, who was focused on playing with the napkins on the right side of your table. You open your mouth, but the words just refuse to leave your lips.

You don't even know how to start. What could you possibly say in a situation like that? Most importantly, would you be able to actually explain anything without bursting into tears in front of Jungkook? Not only did you run into your ex for the first time in almost a year, but also he had to come over and make a scene in front of the guy you were seeing.

It was only your second date with Jungkook, after going out for a very nice dinner, in which the two of you couldn’t stop smiling and laughing at each other’s jokes. If only you two had gone two any other of the eighteen thousand bars in this city, you would have never seen Jimin and you’d also not be feeling this terrible uneasiness in your chest.

“So”, Jungkook breaks the silence, but you see he’s still looking at his hands as if those damn napkins were the most amusing thing in the world. “You apparently know each other”. 

“We do. But honestly, I don’t really want to get onto this, Jungkook. Sorry”, you confess, not really knowing if you’re angry or simply dejected by this encounter.

Jungkook could have also just not mentioned the fact that it was clear you and Jimin have some kind of history. Why do men have to be so clueless all the time? Honestly, it feels like a curse liking men sometimes. The whole situation was so off putting, you truly just wanted to go home, it didn’t matter Jungkook was hot and the nicest guy ever, Jimin was able to kill the mood for you completely.

You see Jungkook is fighting some sort of  internal battle and you feel extremely bad for being the reason behind it.. He had been the sweetest person you had a date with in a very long time. You obviously were not ready to try dating again, Jimin was still all over you, and unfortunately, not only figuratively speaking.

"I'm so sorry for dragging you into this mess", you finally break the silence, making Jungkook look at you again. "I honestly don't feel so good right now…"

"Yeah, I imagined. All I can do is wholeheartedly tell you that it's alright if you wanna go home or something. I don't really know what happened between the two of you, but I can tell something definitely happened", he sympatized and you could tell he was being genuine, not really knowing why, you just saw it in his eyes.

You feel like going home, for sure. Just laying in bed for a couple of hours and crying your eyes out would be the only medicine for this. Maybe, tomorrow after work, you’d need the “best friend plus romantic sad movies combo”, but you’d be alright. Unfortunately, seeing Jimin after this time apart was not as easy as you thought. You just knew that the lump in your throat wouldn't just disappear after installing itself there once again.

Looking deep into Jungkook's eyes, searching for some sort of judgment or resentment, which you do not find, you muster up the strength to be fully honest. If nothing, he deserved it.

"I do want to go, Jungkook", you confess, taking his hand, that rested upon the table, into yours and squeezing it lightly. "I'm really sorry for being a louzy date tonight. I promise I'll try to make it up to you".

"Hey, don't worry…" He says softly. Jungkook squeezes your hand back, but lets go of it and pulls it back, leaving yours hanging on the table by itself. "I have kind of waited a long time to ask you out, but I can wait some more. Date number one was amazing, but we can’t always win. I just want us to have a good time together. I'll let you make it up to me, it's fine".

“I’m really sorry…”

“It’s fine”, he shakes his head, a soft smile hanging loosely on his pierced lips, sounding convincing enough to you. He is genuinely a good person. “But for out next date, you’re the one who should be asking me out. Deal?”

He extends his tattooed hand to you, still beaming at you. 

“Fair enough”, you shake his hand back, feeling a little better for his reassurance. “Deal”.

You must be the most stupid person to ever walk this earth and you know it. Losing your chance with a guy like Jungkook is one of the most ridiculous things you've ever put yourself through. But what can you objectively do? You just ran into your ex and it was awful. You just wanted to cry curled up onto your pillows until you forgot, once again, what the sound of Jimin's voice felt like against your ears. You were in no mood for small talk and flirtation anymore. It was better ending the night like this, than being a statue around him, right? And if he said you could make it up to him later, you could really try to. 

You know that if you weren't feeling this blue, you'd be embarassed as fuck. Maybe, tomorrow, you will. 

Jungkook insists on paying for your drinks, saying that you could pay on the next time. Good to know that he's really counting on a next time and he didn't say it just to be polite before. Fortunately, he doesn't really offer to take you home and you call yourself a car. All you wanted was to be alone with your thoughts for a while.

This whole situation wouldn't be this awful if you didn't feel Jimin's eyes on you the whole fucking time. You knew he was watching the whole scene unravel in front of his eyes with an indescribable delight. 

Indeed, he won this time. But you could only hope that this was the only battle he'd win from now on. You needed to find your way back to yourself. 

And you will, it’ll just take you a little bit of time again.

The light breeze gently touches your skin, as you feel the warmness of the rising sun delicately kissing your hair. The star emerges from behind the hills, as you stand in front of them, tall and strong, deeply rooted to the depths of the earth.

Suddenly, you hear a very loud noise, sounding like a distant bell. Looking around you, you’re not able to find the source of it. It’s not possible that it’s coming from one of the trees, is it?

You hear it again, this time, longer and more annoyingly depriving you from enjoying this beautiful day out in the meadows.

But then, you realize this is a dream. And as soon as the realization hits you, you wake up. You hate being an occasional lucid dreamer, who wakes up as soon as you notice you’re in a dream. It has prevented you from fulfilling many of your fantasies with your celebrity crushes because you always feel like the scenarios are too good to be true.

Then you hear the unblessed noise that woke you up one more time, noticing it’s been the sound of your doorbell this whole time. Finally finding your phone, after your hands grop on your bedside table looking for it, you see it’s 3:27 in the morning. Why the hell would anyone ring your doorbell in such an ungodly hour? 

Well, a burglar wouldn’t ring the doorbell, right? You reason, trying not to freak the fuck out. 

The doorbell rings one more time, then you hear what seems to be a muffled attempt at verbal communication. Should you go to the door? Should you call the cops? You have no idea. 

It could be one of your neighbors looking for help. What if it was an emergency?

“Mrs. Hong? Is that you?” You blurted, voice a bit shaky from the anticipation. 

You hear another muffled response, not really understanding anything this person is saying, but you know it definitely isn’t Mrs. Hong. 

Fuck, Y/n, are you stupid? Whoever this is, now they know you’re inside!

You feel your whole body starting to tremble, heartbeat racing as the worst images possible flash through your mind. You want to go back to your bedroom, call the cops and hide under your bed until someone comes to save you from whoever is this weirdo at your doorstep. The sound of your parents’ voice saying you were crazy for moving out of their house to live by yourself echo through your brain and you can feel the tears start brewing in the corners of your eyes when you’re able to distinguish a word from the muffled bumbling from outside your door.

You are positive you heard the person finishing their sentence with a “babe”. Instantly, you feel a warm wave of relaxation invading your body, in contrast with the uneasy feeling you had a minute ago. You know exactly who it is on the other side of your door. Looking at the peephole, you find the exact person you expected to see leaning against your door frame. Park Jimin. A very, very drunk Park Jimin, from what you can see.

Your hand goes straight to the door handle, opening the door with a blunt movement. When he realizes what’s happening, his eyes land on yours and you see them turning into the shapes of small crescent moons, as a smile rests on his plumpy lips. 

“You almost gave me a fucking heart attack, Jimin-ssi! What the fuck are you doing here?” you bark, watching the smile disappear from his face. 

“Sorry, I swear I didn’t mean to scare you! I just want to talk to you and if I’m here, it’s your fault! I could have just called, but you fucking blocked me everywhere”, he pants in a high pitched voice, one he uses when he’s allowing his irritating to take control over him. 

“It’s almost four in the morning… You’re clearly drunk… I really don’t want to do this, Jimin”, you state, pinching the bridge of your nose. “Please, get the fuck out of here before you disturb my neighbors too”.  

Slamming the door on his face, you turn on your heels towards your bedroom, but before you’re able to walk four steps in its direction, Jimin’s voice can be heard from the inside again. Only this time, he didn’t have his face buried on your door and he was shouting in front of your house.

“Y/n-ssi! I just want to talk to you, pleaseee”, and the there was a knock on your door. “Y/n-ssi! Let me in, Y/n-ssi!”

You feel your blood boiling like magma in your veins, knowing you gave him the perfect weapon to use against you when you mentioned your neighbors. He knows you wouldn’t want these people to talk about you, to talk about the guy who was making a fuss by yelling your name for the whole street to hear in front of your house. You know him and you know that he knows how he plays his games, even when he’s drunk. In a blunt movement, you open the door and grab Jimin by his coat, this time, dragging him inside. 

For a second, the two of you just stare at each other. Due to the closeness, you’re able to sense the scent of his cologne, the musky one you gave him on the last Valentine’s day the two of you have spent as a couple. You hate him even more for not getting rid of what’s left of you in him. 

“You wanted to talk, didn’t you? So, talk!” You hiss, crossing your arms in front of your chest, feeling the need to break the silence before you did something you’d end up regretting.

He blinks, clearly still mesmerized by the fact that his lousy strategy to get you to do what he wanted worked. 

“I saw you left not even five minutes later from that… Well, awkward moment”, he wiggles his eyebrows exaggeratedly as he speaks. “You got yourself a nice suitor, huh?”

“The moment was awkward all thanks to you!” You fumed, unconsciously raising your pointer finger in his direction. “You asshole!”

“Why am I the asshole here? I just told him the truth!” He stated emphatically, with a flicker in his eyes you were just not able to identify precisely.

You were able to smell the alcohol in his breath, due to the closeness, and you felt even more disgusted to be in his presence.

“After cheating on me, you think you have the right to come back and interfere in my love life?” You whisper, angrily. It feels like the temperature in your house is rising, but you know it’s just your anger making you feel hot on the inside. “What did I do to you, Jimin-ssi? Why do you feel like destroying my life every chance you get? Just leave me alone!” 

You see your words have an effect on him and whatever he was about to say, you feel like your words have just stopped him from going on. He sighs loudly and when you were about to kick him out of your house, he starts again.

“Who… Who is he, babe?” He looked down as the question finally left his lips. 

You almost missed him, his arms around you, his voice whispering soft words in your ears. You almost allow his vulnerable demeanor to get to you.

Almost, but you know better.

Sighing, just like he did seconds ago, you voiced.

“Why do you even care, Jimin? You have nothing to do with my life anymore, you know?” You run your hands through your hair, nervously, looking away from him for a second. “As I’ve told you earlier today, you should’ve moved on by now, after all, you were the one who chatead. Own up to your mistakes, dear, you’re a grown ass man. And stop calling me babe!”

He looks at you, wide eyed after you snap at him. The fact that after all these months without seeing him, you were finally able to say everything you wanted to say to his face brought you some sort of relief. 

“When I saw you today, after all the time we’ve been apart, I realized that's the problem… I have nothing to do with your life anymore. I miss you, Y/n”.

It's so hard to hear him saying those things. Mostly, because, deep down you know you miss him too. It hurts so bad to know that you can never have him back, despite loving him. You'd never be able to truly let go of what he did to you. Acknowledging it was the hardest part, it felt like the lump in your throat just got bigger. 

“You can't change that unless you have a time machine”, you said under your breath, more to yourself than to him.

“I can't believe he took this away from me too… Fuck…", he snorts, rubbing his face harshly with both of his hands.”

“What are you trying to say? Who is he?", you ask him impatiently. You would not have him just throwing crazy and riddled information at you at this point. "Are you talking about Taehyung?

“No. It's not about Taehyung. Nevermind", his eyelids drop as he mumbles.

“Really? Is that how shit’s gonna go down? You come to my house to pester me in the middle of the night like you had the right to still be in my life after what you did? And you talk in riddles, like, if there's something I still need to know, now's the only time!” You stop, trying to find the right words to try to get to him as much as he did to you. He didn't move, his eyes were still closed as you spoke. As he made no move, you felt like you could continue. “You know what’s funny, though? I guess if things had worked out with miss thing, you wouldn’t be here right now. So, thank you for showing me you’re just a lonely piece of shit. It's good to know you're in pain too”. 

“You still have no idea, do you?” He snorts, mouth agape as he eyed you.

“Oh well, I don't know if I do. Please, enlighten me, Jimin-ssi. Did the illuminati make you cheat on me or something?"” Scorn spewing out of your words.

He looks at you once more, his eyes burning with longing. It just made your blood boil even more inside of your veins.

“I’m sorry, Y/n. I can’t even say how all of that broke my heart in, like, one million pieces”, he whimpered lowly, his head down as the words left his lips, not really entertaining your mockery.

You snort. 

“How all of that broke your heart? Have you considered that if you had not cheated, we’d still be together? Have you thought about how all of that broke my heart?” You poke him angrily on his chest, feeling the unwelcome misery settling once more in your chest once you heard Jimin’s words. “It was all your fault, Jimin! If we’re not together right now, it's your fault! You broke my heart!”

You vomit all those words at him, holding back the years with every single bit of strength left in you. His eyes travel up to meet yours as you spoke, Jimin’s features are clouded by something you can’t quite name. Is it regret? It must be, it’s the only thing that makes sense. Maybe he’s genuinely sad about it too, but it honestly doesn’t matter. Or maybe there was really something he was trying to tell. 

Whatever it is, hee deserves to deal with it on his own. You don’t have to allow him to drag you back to the hole of pain you were able to come out of, very recently, by the way.

“You’re right, Y/n-ssi. It was all my fault. I shouldn’t have come here, I don’t know what I was thinking.” He sighs, running his hands through his dark locks that fell to the sides, looking partially messed, in a very attractive way. “Again, I’m sorry. For everything. Maybe, someday-”.

“Yeah, sure. It doesn’t matter anymore”, you cut him short. You just can’t do this anymore, you can’t listen to him whining. Not without bursting into tears and you definitely didn't want to cry in front of him. 

On the other hand, the attraction you feel for him, right now, standing before your front door, his features barely lit by the only source of light coming from your bedroom behind you. You hate him for still looking great, for still messing with you, for still being the most handsome man you’ve ever seen. You hate yourself too for feeling like that about him, after all this time.

“Is… This guy. Is he nice to you?” He breaks the silence, his voice as soft as feather touch against your ears.

“He’s just a guy, Jimin. But just stop… Stop asking”, you mutter. “Please, just go”.

He nods, still gazing at you with his magnetic dark eyes.

“I hope you know this”, he points to himself and to you, as he jerks his head in your direction. “Us. Me being here. It means I still have very strong feelings for you. Very strong feelings I can’t control, I guess”.

“I don’t wanna know, Jimin-ssi. Really”.

“I’m sorry, but by the way you still look at me… I’m sure there's still something there. Maybe you’ve done a nice job locking it away, but I know it’s still there”.

“I don’t-”, you stop yourself, and turn to him with a louder tone. “Just fucking go!”

The control you had over yourself so far was gone, you just want him out of your sight. Hopefully, out of your mind too.

When it finally seemed like he was ready to leave, he turned to you once more, gazing intensely into your eyes. Before you had the chance to tell him the get the fuck out for the last time, he had his arms around your waist and his lips found yours; hungrily. 

His kiss was exactly the way you remembered. Intense. Passionate. Breathtaking. Right. It just felt like home. His tongue pursues yours in a fervent twirl and your tongue corresponds in the same intensity. His hand travels upwards, resting on the nape of your neck, spreading a pleasurable warm sensation where it touched. 

He pins you up against the wall, his lips not leaving yours for a split second. He pressed his body against yours and you wrapped your arms around his neck, enclosing any space that could be left between your body and his. He felt so warm against you and the way his touch felt against your skin made it impossible for your brain to think about anything other than the right now and how much you longed for him.

“I’ve missed this”, he said softly, his plumpy lips against yours. “So much”.

He presses his lips against yours once more, but now you realize you can taste the soju on his tongue. Then, you come to your senses.

You’re missing your drunk ex-boyfriend in the middle of the night. This is the man who cheated on you. The man who made a fool out of you and didn’t give a fuck about your feelings. You swore you wouldn't allow him to touch ever again. Here you are, breaking your own promise. Worse part is, maybe he won’t even remember anything that was said or done when we wakes up tomorrow.

In an instinctive impulse, you push him as hard as you can, trying to create as much distance as possible from Jimin. You don't face him long enough to know what happens to him, besides the confused look on his face after forcing him away from you.

“Jimin-ssi… Just get the fuck out of my house”, you start babbling, but trying to control the wobbliness in your voice. 

You hate yourself for being so weak, all it took him was a kiss and you almost dropped all the defenses you’d worked so hard to build up.

“Y/n, just hear me out, please… I wanna tell you everything”, he cried out, his somewhat wobbly voice coming from behind you.

“Jimin, please!” You murmur, imploring. “Just leave me alone.

And there was silence. It felt like time had stopped, you just focused on not allowing the weight on your chest to take over you. You don’t know how long it takes, but you hear your front door being slammed, then all you could do was allow yourself the tears you were holding back to roll down your cheeks in an attempt to release this pain from your chest.

part 2

[nirvanawrites111]

May I Have Your Attention Please Part 2

(Sub!Seonghwa x Reader, Sub!Hongjoong x Reader)

Pairing: Seonghwa x Reader, Hongjoong x Reader

Fem Reader, She/her pronouns

Word Count: 2749

Tw: Spanking Hwa receiving, mention of drug dealing/Gangteez life, mentions of killing, thinking about killing hwa, but trust me you won’t.

oral (fem receiving)

Part 1 Here

Smut below the cut!

A/n: Also I start writing this after I published Part 1 last night. So, shoutout to Anon for your suggestion. I think this is becoming a series. Lets see how my ADHD works lol

“It’s been a few weeks since we last saw each other. How’s everything going?” Seonghwa asks you, taking a sip of his martini.

You scan his body language and he has some nerve to try to be all concerned and formal like he’s not a damn snitch.

You know the street code anyone who crosses you got to go. You reach into your purse and grip the cool metal inside of your bag. You could kill so quick and clean up the body without hesitation.

“I want to know how you know Hongjoong?” You skip the pleasantries and small talk about your life. You need to know why he decided to have such loose lips around him.

“Oh.” Seonghwa talks another sip of his drink, but this time he finishes the entire glass and places it in front of him. He toys with his ring on his finger and avoids eye contact with me.

“Eyes on me, Hwa.” Your tone is solid and firm. This isn’t the time to go soft on him.

Thankfully, you are in a private dining room in a fancy restaurant. The many perks of domming a billionaire. Money and access aren’t an issue.

Seonghwa’s eyes flicker up to you and he visibly swallows hard. “A childhood friend. Why do you bring him up?”

“Cut the bullshit. Hongjoong seemed to be aware of our arrangement.”

Seonghwa’s fingers stroke the flute of his martini glass. “We were drinking and it slipped out.”

“How did it come up?”

“I don’t know. He asked me if I was seeing anyone, and I told him about you. Which led to me sharing how you dominate me. I shouldn’t have spilled that information. Y/n, I’m really sorry.”

You let go of the trigger and release your gun from my hand.

Seonghwa is the least bit wiser of your consideration of killing him.

As you recline comfortably in your plush chair, you observe the person before you, their body language speaking volumes. It becomes evident that a tinge of remorse tugs at their demeanor, seemingly regretful for the words that flowed unchecked from their lips moments ago.

Seonghwa’s eyes, once brimming with confidence, now betray a subtle hint of contrition, as if they wish they could retract the spoken utterances.

A flicker of vulnerability dances across their face, accentuated by a slight downturn at the corners of their mouth.

Plus, you enjoy being with Seonghwa and if it wasn’t for him you wouldn’t had Hongjoong curious about you. Which you still can’t get that thought out of your head.

Your night with Hongjoong was intense. You can still see him naked on that hotel bed. The way he looked all innocent and shy while you were pounding his ass.

Your business is afloat again and you have product moving on the streets as you speak. You don’t have to worry about losing anymore money.

Sure, you could have asked Seonghwa for the money. But, you don’t like him funding your business. You want to keep him away from this lifestyle as much as possible.

He’s your safe haven outside of the dangerous street life. This isn’t meant for everyone to experience. You want to keep him as pure as possible.

But, you are still not sure why he’s associating with Hongjoong.

“Yes, you’re sorry. But, that was fucked up, Hwa. You know you owe me for that.”

“Yes, goddess. I do. I’ll do anything to make up for it.”

“Or, you’re going to do anything. But, I will let you know how you can repay me.”

“Gladly. It won’t happen again.”

“So, why are you hanging around a drug dealer anyways? You’re not funding his business, right?”

“Of course. You told me to stay away from your lifestyle. We just catch up sometimes. He was the only Korean at my pre-school so we’ve always bonded over that.”

“Hwa stand up and drop your pants.”

You reach into your bag and grab your paddle. There is no way you are going to let him off the hook that easy.

Seonghwa does what you say and assumes the position. He places his hands on the table.

You come behind him. “Hwa, you know we can’t have loose lips like that. If I adhere to street code I would have had to drop you, baby. I don’t want to do that, right?”

You wack his ass with your wooden paddle engraved with “Daddy’s Bitch”.

Seonghwa jolts a bit, but it’s not enough for your liking. You need him to feel it. “Right, I’m sorry.”

You wack him again because you need him to understand the nature of your relationship with you. “You’re sorry, who?”

“I’m sorry, daddy.”

“Good, you always learn quick. Listen, I’m going light on you because I have something to do. But, don’t make that mistake again.”

“Yes, daddy.”

You rub his ass and kiss where it’s visibly red. “Now, I know you miss having my tongue in your ass. But, I can’t give that type of affection to a snitch. Right?”

“Yes, daddy. It will not happen again.”

You stand up and toss your paddle into your bag. You toss your purse onto your shoulder. “Listen, I gotta run. But, we will see each other soon.”

“I look forward to it,” Seonghwa speaks and pulls up his pants.

You play it cool and put on your sunglasses. You exit out of the dining room and head for the door. Your driver is waiting for you and he opens the back door for you.

You look at your phone and Hongjoong’s number flash across the screen. You groan at the site of his name coming into your current vision.

“Hello?” You answer.

“Hi, Y/n. I just want to confirm that the product was enough to hold you over. Have you found a distributor yet?”

“My business operations are not any of your concern, Hongjoong.”

“You know I can’t get you out of my head from the other night.”

You always try to act like you are such a tough cookie. But, the truth is you can’t either. There was something so sexy about being with Hongjoong. Sure, you two have always been in competition with each other. But, now things seem different.

You are starting to dip into the personal side of things and it scared the shit out of you.

“Is that so?” You humor him for a bit. You need to see where his head is.

“Yes. Have dinner with me tonight, Y/n.”

No. You cannot get yourself caught up with Kim Hongjoong. Next thing you know you’ll be his weekly eye candy on his arm until he gets tired of you. You know how he gets down.

A different chick on his arm everytime you see him. You like to live discreet. You don’t want anyone knowing who are choose to sleep with. He’s trying to distract you.

“I’m busy, tonight.”

“C’mon, Y/n. I make a mean spaghetti. I know it’s your favorite.”

“Who told you that?”

“Don’t worry about that. Let me make you dinner to thank you for that amazing night.”

“Joong, it was business. That’s it and that’s all.”

“I know. But, this isn’t a date. It’s a business dinner. That’s all.”

“Fine. Where do you live?”

“I’ll come pick you up. I have manners y’know?”

“Okay.”

***

The doorbell rings and you open the door to see Hongjoong standing there with your favorite flowers in hand. His blonde hair is slicked back and he’s wearing an open white dress shirt with lacy see-through sleeves. A Cuban link adorns his neck and his usual jeans are replaced by slacks.

“Hi,” Hongjoong says sweetly and blushes.

“Hi,” you reply. The two of you are staring at each other for a few moments. You can’t believe how good he looks and how much effort he’s put into this.

“Uh, sorry,” Hongjoong snaps out of whatever trace you have him and he shakes head. “These are for you. I got you a vase, too. I didn’t know if you had one.”

“Uh, thank you.” You grab the flowers and say, “You can come in.”

Hongjoong follows you into your home and you place the flowers on the living room table. The two of you sit down on your couch.

“I forgot to ask did you have any food allergies?”

“Nope. I can eat anything.”

“Good.”

“Well, let’s go back to my place and enjoy that meal I promised you.”

You stand up and you have an urge to straddle him. Slip your tongue into his mouth and make him scream your name. But, you remember this is just a thank you dinner. Nothing more and nothing less.

***

Hongjoong opens the passenger door of his corvette for you. “Your chariot awaits.”

Hongjoong curses himself inside of his head. He glares at you to see if you’ll respond to his comment, but you just laugh at it.

He watches you get in and closes the door behind you. He hops into the driver’s seat and drives off to his place.

The car ride is silent but Hongjoong decides to break the ice.

“So, do you need me to help you find a distributor?”

“I got one, but thanks for the offer.”

“Do you want those corner boys back?”

“Hell no. If they will leave me so easily then they were never loyal to me. Plus, I replaced them anyways.”

“Yeah, I mean that’s the easy part. The hard part is ensure they are loyal.”

“Oh, I know they are loyal. So, I’m not worried.”

Once the two of you arrive at his place he gets out of the car and opens the door for you. Hongjoong helps you out of the car.

“Nice home.”

“I know it’s a lot for a single person.”

“Yeah, I get it. That’s why I enjoy my apartment. But, one day I will get a house once I leave this life.”

“Oh, you want to leave the game?”

“Yeah, I can’t do this forever. I want kids and a partner. What about you?”

Hongjoong had no idea you wanted those things. It doesn’t make it any better than he’s been dreaming about how all those things with you since you took hooked up.

“Uh, the streets is all I know. But, I think for the right person I could give it all up.”

“Exactly. I know you didn’t get this house for just yourself. You’re not scared in here by yourself?” You walk around his place exploring.

For a split second Hongjoong can picture you in this house as if it’s also yours. With little children following behind you.

But, before that he would love to be collared and walked all over his marble floors trailing behind you. The fact that you tower over him doesn’t make it any better.

Hongjoong snaps out of his thoughts and heads to the kitchen. He’s already prepped and washed everything for tonight. He grabs everything out of his fridge and place it on the counter.

“Would you like something to drink?”

“Wine, please.”

Hongjoong grabs it out of the wine chiller and opens it with the automatic open. He grabs two glasses and places it in front of you. You are sitting in a high top chair at the kitchen island.

“Coming right up,” Hongjoong replies.

Hongjoong pours wine into your glass and his. He hands you your glass and you both cling your glasses together. “Cheers to new beginnings,” Hongjoong says.

“Cheers.”

Hongjoong can’t help but admire how beautiful you look tonight. Your hair is in full curls just like the other night with a red lip. Your makeup is light, but still makes a statement to enhance your natural beauty.

You are the perfect one for him. You are beautiful, smart, and one of the biggest drugpins in the game.

So, he doesn’t have to pretend he’s someone he’s not to appeal to you. You can understand him in ways that no one else can understand.

***

Hongjoong begins cooking and you sip more on your wine. You walk around his massive kitchen. You look all how neat and organized everything is.

The two of you have engaged in conversations about the street life, relationships, friendships, food, and so much more. You never realized how deep this man is.

“I like a man that cooks,” You stand next to him at the stove. You are amazed at how he knows his way around the kitchen. Everything is fresh and smells so good. You don’t remember if you’ve ever had a man cook for you.

“I like a woman who is dominant.”

That for whatever reason sends a signal to your center and you want nothing more than to have him again. This attraction to him is foreign, but you can’t deny you are having fun with him.

You hear Hongjoong cut off the burner and you sit on the counter behind him. You lift your dress to your hips and spread your legs.

Hongjoong turns around and immediately freezes in place.

“You want to thank you.. eat my pussy, slut,” You command. You are tired of playing games with him and dancing over the fact that are attracted to him.

Hongjoong doesn’t even blink he charges in between your legs and laps away at your already wet pussy. His desire to please you is so obvious. He lovingly serves you with so much ease and precision.

“Fuck, I’ve waited so long for this,” Hongjoong moans against your cunt and you gush a little. You’ve been trying to hold back all night. But, you knew from the moment he walked into your apartment with the flowers you wanted his head between your legs.

Your hand caresses the back of his head. “Your tongue is so good, Joongie. How would your crew Gangteez feel if they knew that your tongue was deep inside of their enemy? Where is your loyalty, Joongie?”

“With you.. all I want to do is serve and please you,” Hongjoong whimpers and give your clit slow licks.

“Oh, really?” You grab Hongjoong’s hair and pulls him away from your center. The lust has darkened his eyes and your juice all dripping off his lips. He’s so fucking hot like this.

“Yes, I can’t stay away from you. Gangteez doesn’t know what happened and I want to keep it that way.”

“Not even your right hand in command, Mingi?” You question.

“No.” He shakes his head. “My personal life is off limits to them.”

You bury his face back against your pussy and this time he drills his tongue inside of you while he massaging circles against your clit. The combination is enough to make everything around you blurry as fuck. You love how skillful his tongue is.

But, you love that he’s not going around telling anyone about what happened the other night. But, you will fact check with Seonghwa soon enough to ensure he’s really telling the truth.

You work your hips to match his tongue fucking you. You still can’t get over that you have one of the biggest drug dealers in your city between your legs professing their loyalty to you.

It’s a power that makes you feel so empowered. But, truthfully you want nothing more to slide down on his dick and fuck in your favorite position, amazon.

But, you are strategic. You can’t give him all of you so easily and fast. He has to earn in. To be inside of you completely is a privilege. So, you will table that opportunity for another time.

You stroke Hongjoong’s hair while your body shakes on his marble countertops. You wrap your legs around his head.

“Fuck, Joongie. I’m going to come,” you growl.

“Please come for me..mistress.”

You lose it when he whines for the arrival of your release. You give him what he’s asking for and let yourself experience that euphoria that you love chasing.

Hongjoong laps all it up. He cleans you out and you release your legs from around his head. You sit up catching your breath.

“Damn, Joongie. You did such a good job.” He looks even more beautiful with your juices glistening on his face.

You grab his with both hands by his shirt and pull him into a kiss. Your tongue swirl together and you savor the taste of your release on his tongue.

“Will you stay the night?” Hongjoong ask.

“Yes, if you agree to stay away from Seonghwa.”

Part 3

[nijigasakilove]

“So how about we talk things over together, because you’re very important to me” 😢 man this was such a beautiful episode. The best possible outcome for everyone, except Saki who didn’t know about Waka’s visitation lmaoo.

Gakuto was so worried about not inconveniencing his older brother, what a nice little fella. You can’t ask for a better little brother to raise. He was rewarded for it too. Not only did he have Hayato there, but his other two brothers plus Waka’s grandpa. Can’t have asked for a better class visitation.

Shoutout to Uta for lying to cover Minato as well. Everyone need a friend like that 😂 . Huge shoutout to waka as well for not even worrying to bother his own mom, but making sure his best friend had support. He knew how much it meant to him. That’s real

I can definitely relate to wanting your parents to come to these too. I had forgot because it’s been so long but we had class visitation when I was in school too, I remember being so happy when my dad showed up and brought food. Might seem like a minor thing, but for a little kid that is a really influential moment that I still carry with me, especially now that my dad’s no longer here(fuck cancer) 😢

[duckymcdoorknob]

If you don't mind me requesting a second one... 👉👈 may I please have a ribbon-decorated box containing marbled white and milk chocolate (dabi x hawks), square shape filled with almonds and lemon creme? No pressure! Thank you!!

HI FLAME THANKS FOR THE REQUEST

Yes I did them out of order. Oopsies!!

I HOPE YOU LIKE THIS THO!!! I AM ABOUT TO BULLY TF OUT OF THIS BIRDIE MAN.

This is the dumbest thing I’ve ever written and I’m SO here for it.

Big shoutout to dada @volleeball-bo for the cake idea bc my brain is but a barren field. 😭

CW UNDER THE CUT: This do have some tickles in it NGL. There is a lot of cursing, but it fits. D3ath mention. illy timed your mom jokes.

Number two, Pro Hero, Hawks. Quirk: Fierce Wings. A Rank member of the League of Villains, Dabi. Quirk: Blueflame. Two of the most dangerous and vengeful men alive, working under the same roof.

So why the hell were they dead-set on baking a birthday cake?

When Twice and Toga had happily shared their newly discovered information, the two males knew they’d somehow be sucked into the abyss. They had learned that Shigaraki’s birthday was the next day, and appointed the two to make him a cake.

Who could say no to Twice and Toga? After all, if they weren’t killing anyone, Hawks was happy.

What’s the worse that could happen?

Now in the kitchen of Hawk’s tiny apartment, the two males were arguing incessantly about the process.

“I assure you, Dabi, you HAVE to add salt into it. Everything has salt. This is a literal teaspoon, you won’t even taste it!” Hawks argued for the nth time.

“It’s salt, dumbass. Salt is going to make the cake taste, oh, you know, fucking salty?” The villain growled in reply.

If Hawks could bang his head on a wall, he would. “Dabi I swear t- FINE! Here!”

The blonde stomped over to his pantry, retrieving a sleeve of pre-packaged cookies. He opened the package, took out two cookies, and offered one to his partner. “Eat it.”

“What’d you do to it?” Dabi teased with a scoff.

“I spit on it and put poison in it, obviously.”

“Sounds delicious.”

The two ate the cookies in silence, with Hawks glaring daggers at his black-haired friend. “So?”

“So?”

“Does it taste sweet?” The winged-hero inquired.

“Yeah? Why are you asking me, Feathers?”

“Aha!” The hero chimed in triumph, snatching the sleeve off of the counter, “Look at the ingredients! Read it and weep, bitch!”

Dabi pinched the bridge of his nose in exasperation as Hawks breathed down his neck. “It seems you’re actually correct for once.”

“Oh what’s this?” The blonde asked coyly, “Dabi was wrong? Wow, what a world.”

“Shut up, let’s get back to the task at hand, please.” The flame villain grumbled, returning to his position near the mixing bowl.

With a proud smile, Hawks strode to the cabinet to grab his salt container, and a set of measuring spoons. God, he was too cocky for his own good.

As Hawks was lining up to pour the salt into the teaspoon, the villain pinched his sides. The man jumped with a yelp as about a tablespoon worth of the ingredient fell into the batter.

“Oh, you dick!” Keigo was immediately on the defense, eyes ablaze with rage, “Now we have to start all over!”

“Oh no! You dropped some! What happened?” Dabi faked innocence.

“You are a quarter second away from being punted out of my goddamn window.”

“Is that a threat?”

“It fuckin’ should be.”

“Well, I don’t understand why this is such a big deal? I thought the cake needed salt? What did you do wrong?”

“Your fucking mom.” The male grumbled absentmindedly.

“That’s it!”

With a look of horror, Hawks took off from the kitchen. His socked feet bounded around his apartment, clearing corners with the help of his slippery momentum. “I didn’t mean it! I didn’t mean it! It was a natural reaction!”

“I know for shit sure that you meant it, Feathers!” Dabi called in reply, hot on Hawks’ heels.

“I really didn’t! It slipped oUT-“ tripping on his own ottoman, Keigo smacked his face onto his loveseat, subsequently falling onto it.

“You fucking idiot.” Dabi said through a fit of laughter. “How do you not see the furniture that you set up yourself?”

Holding his forehead, the winged-hero stuck his tongue out. “How do you take offense to a your mom joke?”

Neither knew how it happened, but the villain’s body moved faster than his brain did. Before he knew it, the black-haired male had sat on his partner’s waist, and held his wrists over his head with one hand.

Dabi wore a menacing smile, as Hawks wore a look of terror. Was this how he died? Was he going to be killed in cold blood over a your mom joke?

Instead, he felt a single finger trace around his stomach. Not expecting the long-forgotten feeling, giggles bubbled from his throat.

“Ohoho this is rich, Birdie!” The villain teased, “As if you couldn’t get even more interesting!”

“Dabi, don’t you dare.” Hawks hissed, eyeing the wiggling fingers that dared to come in close contact with his torso. “Do not fucking t-touch me- nohohoho!”

“Aww, you’re so precious!” The villain cooed as he gently pinched at his partner’s sides.

“Dahahabihihi! Dohohohont!”

“Don’t? But this is so much more fun than baking a cake for the boss.”

“C’monohohon! Thihihis ihihisnt lihihihike yohohou!”

The black-haired male beamed at the laughing hero beneath him. Oh what a power play this was. “To put my enemy into submission? This is totally like me.” He moved his hand up to spider under Hawks’ arms.

“NGH- DAHAHABI!” Keigo’s eyes were squeezed shut, face flushed from embarrassment. He couldn’t exactly hide his face in his hands, since he was a little… trapped. “PLEHEHEHEHEASE!”

“Please what? Keep going? Move spots? Stop? You have to be very specific with what you want, Birdie.”

“IHIHI DOHOHONT KNOHOHOW!”

“You don’t know what you want? Maybe I just need to help wake your brain up!” With that, the villain brought his hand down to ever-so-gently prod at his partner’s ribcage.

“DABIDABIDABI-DAHAHAHABIHIHI! NOHOHOHO! NOHOHOT THEHEHERE! MOHOHOHOVE SPOHOHOHOTS!”

“Oh dear, Feathers, you’re so ticklish here!”

“PLEHEHEHEHEASE!”

“Am I embarrassing you? I don’t think I’ve ever seen you this worked up!” Dabi chirped, adding the slightest amount more pressure.

“OKAHAHAY! OKAY OKAY! THAHAHATS ENOHOHOHOUGH!”

“Are you sure?”

“YEHEHES! PLEHEHEHEHEASE! STAHAHAHAP!”

When the magic word was uttered, Dabi released his victim instantly. “You okay, kid?”

“I… I am… I’m only a y-year… younger-“ the hero sputtered through panting breaths. “You, dick.”

“Ah, you’re back.” The villain chimed, “I didn’t kill ya’, did I?”

“Nah. Just… glad you stopped when you did.”

“Running out of stamina? Some hero you are.” Dabi scoffed.

“And your revenge tactic was to tickle the shit out of me. Some villain you are.”

With a cocky smile, the black-haired male looked fondly upon his partner. “Any last words?”

Keigo inhaled sharply, closing his eyes. He reflected on how vulnerable of a position he was in, ultimately giving up on survival. Oh well, he’s lived long enough.

With a hushed whisper, he uttered “Your mom.”

And as the winged-hero predicted, Dabi’s hand lowered back onto his ribs and showed no mercy; cake long forgotten as Hawks’ frantic laughter echoed off of the walls.

After all, no good joke shall go unpunished…

❣︎𝑉𝑎𝑙𝑒𝑛𝑡𝑖𝑛𝑒’𝑠 𝐶ℎ𝑜𝑐𝑜𝑙𝑎𝑡𝑒𝑠 𝐸𝑣𝑒𝑛𝑡❣︎

—————♡︎✞♡︎✞♡︎✞♡︎✞♡︎✞♡︎✞♡︎✞♡︎✞♡︎✞♡︎—————

[gretavangroupie]

Crave (Chapter 3)

Word count: 9.3k+

Pairing: Josh x Female Reader

Summary: After pushing the girl you love into the arms of your best friend, you're left regretting your choices.

Warnings: 18+ as always, language, drinking, sexual situations, smut, fluff.

Crave Playlist

A/N: Special shoutout to my beta, my co-writer, and my dear friend @gvfjess none of this would be what it is without her touch.

JOSH POV

“Josh…I'm so sorry, I know I fucked up. I should never have said the things I did. You were right, about everything. You've been right! I do need you. I’ll always need you.” She cries looking up at you, rain dripping from her coat.

What is going on?

You let out an exasperated sigh, realizing that she is upset after yet another fight with Danny. What else could you have been right about?

God damn it. I knew this was going to happen again. How many times is he going to fuck this up? 

Her state this time is the worst you’ve seen yet. You can tell she has been crying for a while, her eyes are puffy and her face red and splotchy. You quickly grab her arm, pulling her in from the pouring rain, helping her take off the soaking wet coat. 

Her last words replay in your mind, “I’ll always need you.” and you hope she means that. 

“Oh god, what’s wrong?” You ask desperately as she continues to cry, the sobs racking through her small frame even harder now.

You pull her in to you by her hands, wrapping your arms all the way around her. You feel her rigid posture soften a bit and can’t help but feel good about that. You can tell she feels comfortable with you, and that’s all you could hope for.

“I’m so sorry, Josh. About everything. I have messed this up since the beginning. It wasn’t meant to happen this way. Everything is so fucked up.” She says through her sobs.

“Oh, no…its okay….shhh shhh” you say, cradling her head against your shoulder. 

I have to help her calm down, what the hell brought this on? This feels big.

“What happened? What's going on?” You ask. 

“I’m sorry I said I didn’t need you, I do need you. I always need you.” She cries into your chest.

Fuck, she is really torn up about our argument today. Sure, I was mad in the moment, but I would never hold it against her. 

“I’m here, I promise I’m here, just tell me why you’re upset.” You ask again.

She pulls away from you, trying to wipe her tears on her sleeve but it’s no use. Her clothes are soaking wet and she is shivering. You hate seeing her like this. You just want to wrap her up in your arms and take all of the pain away.

“Actually, let’s get you some dry clothes. I’ll make you some tea, and then we can talk. Okay?” You ask, swiping your thumb across her cheek and collecting a tear that is rolling down.

She nods her head and follows you into your bedroom. You praise yourself inwardly for remembering to clean up earlier. You dig though your drawers pulling out a t-shirt and a pair of pajama pants. 

“Here, the bathroom is right there. You go change and then meet me in the kitchen.” You say, running your hand down her arm. 

She disappears into the bathroom and you hear her turn on the faucet. A few minutes later she steps out of the hallway and into the kitchen. Your heart swells at the sight of your t-shirt hanging on her just right.

She looks amazing in my clothes. Like they were made to be worn by her. 

“Almost done, just needs a few more minutes.” You say gently, motioning to the kettle on your stovetop.

“Why are you being so nice to me? I was awful to you. I would hate me if I were you.” She asks, her gaze held downward. You reach out and tip her chin up with your index finger.

“There is nothing you could say to change the way I feel about you. It can’t just turn on and off. I may keep most of it to myself, but the feelings that I have for you have not dulled since the moment I met you. I hope you know that.” You stare intently into her eyes, hoping she sees that you truly mean it. You notice her cheeks turning a shade of pink.

“Now, do you want to talk about it? Or we could just sit for a while? We can just exist here in the same place together and I would be happy with that too.” You say.

“No, I want to talk about it. I need to. I have so much to say to you, and I need you to hear it. I need you to understand.” She replies.

“Well I am here and I am listening.” You say with a smile, your heartbeat increasing in anticipation of what she is about to say.

You hand her the mug and lead her to the couch. She sits down facing you and you follow suit. You scoot close to her, grabbing her hands and squeezing them for encouragement. 

“Everything you said today… it was completely right. I am so sorry I didn’t listen to you Josh." she starts.

"Tonight at the bar, when you didn't walk in, I was so sad. I wanted so badly for you to be there. It just felt wrong… I thought you had come late, when I heard the bell ring. I hoped it was you. But it wasn’t. It was Olivia. She came to the bar to return the shirt that she borrowed from Danny last night. When she spent the night in his bed. I wanted to curl up and die right there. The only thing I could think about was you. I wished you were there, you would have known exactly what to do. You always know exactly what to say to make me feel better. But you weren’t there, and it was my fault.” She says, a tear rolling down her cheek.

Oh, I made it worse. I was trying to give her space…

“No, don’t blame yourself. I just…I couldn’t bare the thought of seeing you with him tonight. It was me, I was being selfish. I am so sorry I wasn’t there for you. I wish I could go back, I would have taken care of you.” You say, swiping the tear away from her face.

I hate seeing her cry.

“Jake talked to me afterwards. He helped me realize that everything that I have been pretending wasn’t there, really was deep down. Everything that has been there all along.” She says. 

Jacob… I should have known. 

“After work I went straight to Danny’s. I made him explain everything and he told me everything that I kept telling myself wasn’t happening. I told him that sometimes the things we love can be bad for us, and we have to give them up. I ended it, I cant let him treat me like that and he agreed. I will always be the consolation prize…to her. We were like oil and water, we were never going to work. He has too much to work out on his own, and I need more than that.” She says.

“This is what I’ve been trying to tell you… You deserve more than that. I’m glad he finally sees that too. I am so sorry all of this happened tonight while I wasn’t there. I am so so sorry.” You say pulling her into your chest, wrapping your arms around her, just holding her there breathing her in. You are shattered that she is having to deal with this. 

I should have been there tonight. I thought it would be best to give us both some time, we were both so upset after lunch. Maybe it is for the best that I wasn’t there, I don’t know if I could have kept my mouth shut between Olivia and Daniel. 

“Josh, I am so sorry I put you through all of this. This entire situation has been a mess since day one, I regret almost every choice I’ve made. I don’t know if I will ever be able to truly express to you how badly I wish I could go back and do things differently. Make different choices.” she whispers into your chest.

“You’re here with me now and that’s all I need. When you’re with me nothing else matters.” You reply, kissing the top of her head.

“Will you stay with me tonight? Here?” You ask nervously.

“Josh are you sure? I can sleep on the couch, I don’t want to intrude.” She says.

“Do you really think for one second that I am ever letting you out of my arms again?” You say.

She looks up at you, her eyes soft and hurting, almost begging for you to make the pain stop.

“Don’t look at me like that, I can’t take it.” You say.

“Like what?” She whispers.

“Like you feel the same way I do.” You say softly.

You can tell she wants to say it, but she doesn’t.

She runs her fingertips over your cheekbone, “Can we go to bed?” She asks.

You nod your head and smile, standing up and offering your hand to her. 

You intertwine your fingers with hers as you walk down the hallway. You step into the bedroom and you grab the duvet cover, pulling it back, “You can take either side, it doesn’t matter to me.” You say smiling.

You pull your shirt over your head and take off your shorts, leaving you in just your boxers, before you slide into the cold sheets next to her. You turn the lamp off and turn onto your side facing her.

Your hand searches for hers and as you find it, she begins to run her fingertips up and down the underside of your arm, eliciting a groan from your mouth.

It feels so, good. I’ve been waiting to feel this again, I wasn’t sure if it was ever going to. How is this reality?

“Josh?” She whispers.

“Yes?” You reply.

“Can you forgive me? I understand if it will take some time.” She asks.

Oh, sweetheart… If only you knew.

You place your hand on her soft face. “I forgave you the minute I left today. I could never stay mad at you.” You say, kissing her forehead.

Another minute or two passes lying in the dark.

“Josh?” She asks again

“Yeah, beautiful?”

“Can you do that again?” She asks nervously.

“Do what?” You reply.

“Kiss me.” She says.

You slowly lean your face into hers and press a featherlight kiss onto her perfect full lips. That same warmth washing over your body like it did the first time you kissed her. You pull away slowly.

“It’s always been you, you know.” You whisper, running your fingers through her hair. 

“I know.” She replies, inching closer to your body and stealing your warmth.

You wrap your arms around her body and pull her closer into your chest, your bodies fitting together just right. You nestle your head into her neck, and whisper, “Let me show you what love is supposed to look like.”

You entangle your fingers with hers, pressing them against her chest and you drift off to sleep in sweet company of the one that truly feels like home. 

When your eyes pop open at 7:00 on the dot you inwardly curse at your stupid internal clock, still exhausted from being up so late. 

The sheets near your feet move and you look over, seeing her figure wrapped in your sheets. 

It wasn’t a dream.

Her hair is cascading over the edge of the pillow case, landing in shimmery pools against the white sheets. Your fingertips trace circles into the ends of her hair as her feet move to intertwine with yours.

Is she awake?

You place your hand on softly on her waist and pull yourself closer to her resting your head behind hers. You breathe in the smell of her, which also smells a little like you since she is in your clothes. You slowly slide your hand through her arms and wrap her up pulling her into your chest. Her hand lifts up and finds its way to the back your head, running lightly across your hair before resting on your face.

She is awake.

“How long have you been awake?” You whisper.

Her voice is groggy and quiet. “Mmm, only a few minutes.” She says, rolling in your arms to face you.

“Did you sleep okay?” You ask.

“I did, better than I have in a while.” She says with a smirk.

You smile and pull her into you, hugging her, wrapping your arms around her shoulders.

“Oh… this is the best way to wake up.” You say into her hair. “What do you want to do today?”

She pulls back and looks at you. “Don’t you have to work?” She asks.

“Nope, we are all off today… we needed a little break. So this is actually good timing.” You say.

“Oh, well I don’t want to intrude on your day. I’m sure there are tons of things you need to do.” She says.

She just doesn’t get it. 

“There is nothing that I want to do more than spend the day with you.” You say.

She smiles her beautiful smile and kisses your cheek.

“Coffee? Tea? What do you drink in the morning?” You ask her, standing up out of the bed.

“Usually coffee.” She replies.

“Okay, be right back.” You say, walking down the hallway, to the kitchen.

A few minutes later you hear her footsteps as she pads down the hall and into the kitchen, snaking her hands around your waist and resting her chin on your shoulder.

“Thanks for letting me stay last night, and for talking to me, and holding me. Everything feels… right.” She says.

Everything is exactly how it’s meant to be.

“Of course, I couldn’t let you leave. The rain was horrible!” You joke.

“Oh that’s why you wanted me to stay?” She replies laughing.

“Well, that and this.” You say, spinning in her arms and pressing your lips to hers. 

She feels so perfect. I hope this never ends.

She places her hand to rest on your neck as she presses her lips harder into yours. 

It’s as if time stops, like the room is spinning in slow motion around you… as if you have been reaching your hand out to hers and she finally grabs it for the first time. 

She feels the same way. You can feel it.

You pull your face back from hers and stare into her beautiful eyes. 

“Tell me you felt that too.” You say.

“I felt it.” She says, kissing your lips again quickly.

She doesn’t need to say anything else. You just… know. It doesn’t even have to be spoken.

“Ready for your coffee?” You ask her.

“Yes!” She replies.

“Go sit on the couch, I will bring it to you.” You reply, pouring the hot coffee into the special mug, just for her.

You got the mug in London a few years ago. You saw a street vendor selling these handmade, hand painted earthenware mugs and knew you had to have one. When you bought it you always imagined that you would do this with it. Fill it full of hot goodness and give it to the one you loved one day.  A silent nod to how a piece of you, even back then, always would belong to them, whoever they were. Here you are now, finally ready to use it. 

You walk over with the mug and hand it to her, your heart fluttering at the sight of her. She is wrapped in your favorite blanket, legs curled to her chest, and you think to yourself that this is how you want every single morning to be. 

You sit next to her and just talk. Talk about anything and everything. One hour turns into two and it seems like no time has passed at all. It’s always been this way for you. The minutes flying by too quickly, never having enough time with her. Always wishing for just another minute.

As she takes a shower, you put an album on to fill the empty quiet space. You settle on a classic. Van Morrison’s Moondance album. You sit on the couch and read your book until you see her emerge from the hallway, dressed in your clothes and you cant help the smile that makes its way to your face, at the sight. Every moment seems like one that you want to keep. That you want to store away forever in your brain.

She’s stunning, even with wet hair and a pink face.

You close your book and open your arms to her and she practically runs into them, sitting next to you.

“Whatcha reading?” She asks.

“Ahh this is just something Jake gave me and told me to read, some ancient spiritual awakening manuscript of sorts.” You reply.

“What do you want to do? Do you want to watch a movie?” You ask.

“Do you want to?” She asks looking up at you.

“I just want to be with you, so if that means I get to sit here with you all to myself for the next hour and a half then I definitely do.” You say placing your hand on her thigh.

“Alright, you pick.” She says.

You stand up and walk to the turntable and stop the album, closing the curtains and turning off the lights. Sitting back down next to her, she surprises you by laying her head in your lap and stretching across the length of the couch. It takes every single ounce of your effort to keep the blood from rushing straight between your legs. 

You start the movie and she snuggles her face into your lap more, placing her hand under her face, effectively resting it right on top of your dick.

Take a deep breath. You’ve got this.

As the movie plays you begin to run your fingers through her damp hair, taking gentle care to work through the knots without hurting her, taking in the feel of her silky soft strands.

How many times have I dreamed of this exact scenario, only for it to be playing out so perfectly right in front of my eyes. 

You spend the whole second half of the movie daydreaming and rubbing her back as she naps in your lap. When the movie ends you turn it off and slowly slide yourself out from under her. 

Gosh it’s nearly 5:00…. I am starving.

You walk to the kitchen and open the fridge, browsing to see what ingredients you have and what you could possibly do with them, but you are coming up short. Resting your elbows on the kitchen island you grab your phone and scroll through delivery options. 

What does she like?

Oh she liked the food at Gather… I’ll just get that again.

You quickly order delivery for the both of you and realize that you have about 10 unread messages in the group text.

Sam: I know we are off but are we going to the bar tonight?

Jake: Up to you fellas...

Daniel: No, I’m not going. Have fun.

Jake: Josh?

Jake: What’s up your ass Daniel?

Sam: Olivia. LOL

Daniel: Can you grow up for 5 minutes?

Jake: Yikes, hit a nerve Sammy…

You shake your head smirking, deciding to reply, and tell them you will be dipping out this evening. They don’t need to know why just yet.

You: No, I am going to stay in tonight. See you tomorrow.

Jake: I should probably do the same then.

Sam: Ugh fine.

Smiling at your phone you see her rustling on the couch and you can tell she is a little disoriented.

“Hey beautiful, have a good nap?” You ask.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to fall asleep, I was just so comfortable.” She says embarrassed.

“Don’t apologize it’s totally fine, I just ordered us some food and it should be here soon.” You say.

She walks into the kitchen to meet you and you flip the light switch, providing a small bit of light for her to be able to see where she is going. 

“Back to the real world tomorrow.” She says, wrapping her arms around you. 

“This is the real world…at least it could be.” You reply, gazing down to meet her eyes.

“I think I’d like that.” She says, leaning into your chest.

“Me too.” You breathe out.

A while later the food arrives and you are both starving. You eat together and talk and laugh and just enjoy each others company. It’s so easy to just be with her, everything just happens so naturally and you love that about her. 

“Josh, I feel like I have overstayed my welcome.” She says bashfully.

No. Not yet.

“What? What do you mean?” You ask confused.

“I have taken up your entire day!” She says, picking at her fingernails.

“I wanted you to! I asked you to.” You reply.

“I know, but you have to work tomorrow and so do I! I just feel bad!” She says.

“You still don’t get it do you?” You ask.

She blushes and looks to the floor.

You pull her chin up, “I want you to be here. I always want you here. Stop doubting it.”

She just stares at you, her eyes begging for you to ask her to stay.

“Do you want to go home?” You ask.

“Honestly, no. But I have nothing here with me. I need clean clothes.” She says groaning.

“So go home tonight and then you can stay here tomorrow night if you want to. Or I can come to you. Either way. What do you think?” You ask.

She sneaks closer to you on the barstool, wrapping her arms around your neck. You instinctively place your hands on her hips.

“I think that I will miss your arms wrapped around me all night.” She replies.

Me too. You have no idea.

“Tomorrow.” You promise, pressing a soft kiss to her lips. “Then it will be the weekend and we don’t even have to leave the house if you don’t want to.” You kiss her again. “Although, I would like to take you on a date. A real date.”

She blushes and smiles. “Okay, I’d like that.” She says bashfully.

“You are so beautiful, you know that?” You say, swiping the hair off of her neck.

“Josh….” She whines, being shy.

“I have waited so long to be with you like this, I am going to do it right. More than right. I promise.” You say.

She leans close to you and presses her lips to yours but it’s different this time. More desperate and needy, but you happily return the sentiment. 

“Josh…I want you…” She whispers between kisses. Her tongue swiping your lip asking for entrance and you part your lips to allow it. Her fingers travel up the back of your neck and into the bottom of your hair, lightly tugging on your curls.  The feeling alone making you groan. You press your tongue to meet hers, both of you desperate for more of each other.

Before you get too far you stop and pull away from her mouth. “I want you too. I want you so badly. It's all I have thought about since that night. But not like this. We need to talk about this, whatever this is, what it is going to be.” You say, gesturing between the two of you. “But first, you need to go home, get a good nights sleep, and think about it. Really hard. Because I promise you, if you decide this is what you want it will be 100 percent from me. Always, and I will expect the same from you. I want you. All of you. I am playing for keeps.” You say. 

She nods her head, understanding, but you can tell she feels a little rejected. 

“Look at me. I want you, I want you so so bad. It is killing me to let you go home tonight. But I promise it will be worth it when we both know for sure that this is exactly what we want.” You say, a smile crossing her face as you kiss her once more.

“Okay.” She replies with a soft smile.

She steps back and turns down the hallway to grab her clothes, and her bag. You meet her in the hallway, pressing one more kiss to her perfect lips. “Just one for the road.” You laugh as you release her. She digs her keys out of her purse and begins to head to your door. 

“Bye, Josh.” She smiles.

“Goodbye beautiful girl.” You reply, leaning on the open door. She makes her way to her car, and you stand and watch her as she pulls away.

You shut the door behind you and lean against it for a second, replaying the events of the past 24 hours over in your head, your heart fluttering. 

‘I want you….’ 

The look in her eyes…how you showed any restraint is a mystery. 

You clean up from dinner, and lock up your house. Taking a quick shower, you just keep seeing her face in your mind. You miss her already. The thought of sleeping without her tonight looming in your mind. 

I have been doing it this long…

You finish up and dry off, slipping on a pair of boxers and getting into bed. As you lay on your normal side of the bed, you can smell her on your pillow. You hear your phone buzz on your nightstand and grab it seeing its her.

Her: Made it home, thinking about you.

You: Good, just got in bed, thinking about you too. Wish you were here.

Her: It’s cold tonight, sure wish I was there too.

You: Tomorrow.

Her: :)

You place your phone back on the nightstand and turn off the lamp, closing your eyes breathing in the intoxicating smell of your girl.

Your morning didn’t start as planned. You slept past your alarm, you were out of tea, and you couldn’t find the shirt your were looking for. You hoped this wasn’t a sign on how your day was going to go. 

You were supposed to be meeting the guys at the office today to do some video interviews for the new album but of course you were running late. Tires screeching as you pull into the parking lot, you sprint through the front doors and upstairs to see Danny and Jake standing there waiting for you. They point to the room where Sam is already starting on the video call.

“Fuck, today is just not going my way.” You grumble.

You step into the room and shut the door behind you apologizing profusely for being late, and luckily the interviewer is totally cool and doesn’t mind at all.

An hour later you are wrapping up and finally stepping out of the small room. You go and sit down on the couch pulling your phone out and sending her a quick text.

You: Good morning beautiful.

Her: Good morning, having a good day?

You: Yes, lots of meetings today, but we will see you later?

Her: Yep, I’ll be there!

You relax into the couch and let out a deep sigh.

“Was it that bad?” Danny asks.

“No, I just have had a long day and it’s only 10AM.” You laugh.

“I know what you mean.” Danny replies.

You swallow nervously, knowing why he is saying that. You are wondering if he is going to mention anything to you. You know you need to talk to him about everything but, you aren’t sure what to say. ‘Hey, I know you two broke up because she came straight to me afterwards, and I think we are going to be together now, sorry bud?’ Doesn’t really sound too good. Maybe he will come to you.

The day passes by pretty quickly, each of you pairing off and doing a few more interviews, and probably drinking a little too much in between. As the day winds down you can see Danny acting a little nervous as Jake and Sam talk about going to the bar. He looks over at you and catches you looking at him. He nods his head to the back room and you silently understand that he wants to talk.

You both step into the meeting room and you act like you have no idea what he is going say. 

“I have been trying to talk to you all day, but someone kept interjecting….” He starts.

“Whats up?” You ask.

“So, you know that we were seeing each other…god I went about everything the wrong way from the get go… “ he says running his hands through his hair. “From the start things were…rocky at best. We had a really good connection, sexually. But we couldn't seem to get the emotional thing down, or at least I couldn’t. When we finally found our footing, Olivia showed up. You know dude, I thought she was it for me. I was shattered when she left me, I wasn’t sure I would ever be with anyone else, until I met her at the bar that night. I totally fell in love with her, how could you not, ya know? But now I'm not sure it was love. Olivia stepped back into the picture and all these feelings I didn’t know were there, just shot up. So I shut her out. I betrayed her, and she found out. I felt so guilty… god I wish I could just redo it all. But I cant, and I realize that she deserves so much better than someone who cant even commit to how he feels about her from day to day. I wanted things between us to work so bad, I really did, but now I just cant get Olivia out of my head and that is not fair to her.” He says, leaning on the table.

You shift your weight on your other leg, listening to him still.

“Night before last Olivia came into the bar of course, and felt the need to return a t-shirt I let her borrow. I fucked up letting her spend the night at my house, even more so in my bed. I don’t know what I was thinking. Part of me wanted it to happen though, thats the worst part. So when she put the pieces together I think that is when she realized that this relationship wasn’t going to get any better. She knew right then the it was over and I think I did too. We both felt the shift. It was only getting more confusing and hard. She came to my house that night and we both decided that we needed to call it quits. We had been trying for so long to make it work, and it just wasn’t. The sex was great, that was never the issue. It was me. We both knew it. I had to let her go, she deserved it. We just want each other to be happy but I am worried for her. I know she leans on you a lot, you’re kind of her person, I think. Anyways, all of this just to say, since I know she confides in you, just…. Take care of her for me? I really do care about her so much and I know that you do too, I just need to know that she is okay….” He trails off.

“I do care about her, and I think that you both are doing the right thing for not only yourselves but each other. You both deserve to be happy, whatever that may mean for the both of you. I will look out for her, thats a promise. Thanks for telling me, I know this is a rough...” You reply.

He reaches out for your hand and you shake it before you hear Sam yelling out your names.

“Are you guys ready?” He asks.

“I think so, what about you Daniel, you up for it?” You ask him.

“Yeah, let’s go.” He replies.

You all head downstairs and to your cars, making your way to your favorite watering hole. 

I can’t wait to see her, but I have to play it cool.

You give yourself a pep talk on the way there and also try to calm yourself down at the same time. As you pull into the parking lot you jump out of the car, locking it behind you and catching up with the guys so that you can all walk in together. 

You’re in last and take the opportunity to shoot her quick smile when you see her behind the bar. 

Beautiful girl.

Her hair is down and slightly curled at the ends falling onto her shoulders, her lips slightly pink and glossy. You tear your focus away from her and head to your normal table. 

“Alright, Josh its your turn to buy.” Jake says laughing.

“Okay, what do you all want?” You ask, standing up leaning on the table.

“Beer…” they all say in unison, you smile shake your head and walk off.

As you approach the bar your heart begins to beat a little faster than usual, and you see a smile cross her face. 

“Hello, gorgeous.” You say.

“Hi…” she says bashfully.

“I have been informed that it is my turn to buy and they all want beers. No preference apparently.” You laugh.

“Okay, let me see…..” She says looking into the cooler.

“Alright, PBR for Sam and Daniel, Bell’s Two Hearted for Jake and for you….” She hesitates, peering into the cooler. 

“How about a Corona?” She asks.

“You know us too well...” You smile. 

She removes the lids and pops the tops on the PBR sliding them to you before crossing her arms and leaning into the bar. 

You lean closer to her, and almost whisper, “Tonight?”

“Do you still want me to?” She replies quietly.

“Of course.” You reply and she nods her head.

Making your way back to the table with everyones drinks you sit down and try to not be obvious about the smile threatening to spread across your face.

Throughout the night you share glances across the bar, silently flirting but trying to keep it on the low down. So far no one has noticed. When it’s finally time to go, you head up to the bar to close out the tab.

“Leaving so soon?” She smirks.

“Yep, I have company coming tonight.” You reply playfully, signing the check.

“Oh, sounds like fun…” she says.

“It should be…” you reply devilishly.

She nods as you turnt to meet the guys at the door. You all walk out to your cars as Jake pulls you aside.

“So you two are an item now I see.” He smirks.

“Well......We haven’t discussed anything, and Daniel only just told me today that they officially decided to call it quits. She came to me that night…I’m not sure what’s going on but she knows how I feel and she has insinuated that she feels the same. I think I’m gonna talk to her about it tonight.” You say. ���But how did you know?”

“I’m your twin…” He says raising his eyebrows walking to his car.

How does he do that?

Driving home all you can think about is her. You cant wait to spend the weekend with her, and take her out tomorrow. You have it all planned. 

Pulling into your driveway you get out of the car and quickly get inside. You want to pick up the house and make the bed before she gets here. You know she should probably be leaving the bar in the next 20 minutes. 

A knock at your front door 30 minutes later makes your heart jump out of your chest. You stand up from the couch, and turn the music down a bit before unlocking the door. As you open it she’s standing there nervously playing with the cuff of her coat but when she sees you she smiles.

“Finally.” You say, pulling her in by her arm.

You shut the door behind her and pull her lips to yours, cupping her face in your hands. 

God, I never want to stop.

Forcing yourself to pull away, you step back and let her walk into the living room, dropping her bag at the door. 

“Josh can I talk to you for a minute?” She asks.

Oh no, she changed her mind.

“Sure, let’s go sit.” You say motioning to the couch. The room is dimly lit by a few lamps and the candle burning on the coffee table. You tried to make it feel more comfortable for her. As you both sit on the couch you take her hands in yours, and nod that you’re ready to listen. 

“So you know how you told me to think about what I really wanted? You wanted me to be really sure that this is what I wanted before we got in too deep? I tossed and turned all night last night, just racking my brain, thinking about everything. Everything that has happened in the last few months, with Danny, with you. I really dug deep and I think that Jake was right. I think I have known all along and I just tried to suffocate it with something that wasn’t right. That’s why it never worked with Danny and I. It wasn’t supposed to. It was always just off.” She says, tripping over her words. 

Her mind must be going 100 miles an hour. 

“This is how it was supposed to be. Me and you. I tried to pretend that it wasn’t there, but it always was. Every conversation in the bar, every look, every smile…it was there, I just refused to accept that it was real. I am so so sorry that I hurt you. I’m so sorry that you had to stand on the sidelines and watch everything play out. That you were who I turned to about it all, you didn’t deserve to have to hear about it. I can’t even imagine how painful that had to be. But most of all, you have always told me that I deserve to be someones first choice. I know that I am your first choice Josh, I think you were always mine too, I was just…scared. I turned to Danny because there was nothing that could be damaged. We weren’t friends like you and I were, Josh…. There was nothing that I could lose if it didn’t work out. So instead of giving myself what I really wanted, I chose the option that would hurt less and it turns out it’s what actually hurt me most. I completely understand if you want to think about us and everything I said, you just have to know. You aren’t my second choice. You were always my first choice. I was just afraid to lose you.” She says, twisting her fingers with yours. 

Her eyes are searching yours for any type of reaction, but you are just staring at her, completely stunned.

She does want me too. She is just afraid of losing me.

You reach your hand out to her face, resting your thumb on her cheek, “I’m not going anywhere…”

“I really am sorry Josh, I know you deserve so much more than what I gave you, but I promise you that I am all in. I just want you, I always have.” She says.

Oh, baby I want you too…

“You are all I want beautiful. If you’re in, then so am I. Be mine, and I will be yours, completely.” You whisper.

“I think I always have been.” She whispers back.

Your mouths crash to each other and your lips furiously find hers, kissing her more aggressively than normal. You’ve been patiently waiting for the right moment to try and making sure the timing was right, but after hearing her confirm that she feels the way you do there is no way you can hold back any longer. You are both desperate for each other. Her body is telling you that she needs more, which you are more than happy to provide. Her hands are all over you, running up and down your chest and arms. Her lips wet and full against yours. Your tongue slides across her bottom lip begging for entrance into her mouth. As her lips part a soft moan escapes her lips when your hand grips into her waist. Hearing her response to your touch is something you could revel in forever.

She wants this.

“Josh please….” She breaths into your mouth.

“I know baby, I’m getting there.” You reply pulling away from her mouth causing her to let out a small whine in protest. “Lets go to the bedroom.” 

You stand and blow out the candle, grabbing her hand to pull behind you as you make your way down the hall. Closing the door, you release her hand and watch as she saunters over to the bed. 

Her eyes travel your body up and down as you take your shirt off and throw it on the floor, leaving you just in your pants. You walk over to her and she snakes her arms around your waist and before you can even blink she is pressing wet kisses to your torso. You place your hands on the back of her head, gently holding on as she moves up and down your body. 

Fuck… She is perfect.

You feel her left hand slide down your waist and to the front of your pants, her hand running over the erection hiding under the seam of your pants. A groan leaving your throat. 

“I’ve been thinking about this since I left the other night. I want to make you feel as good as you make me feel.” she says.

Her fingers undo the button and she slowly slides the zipper down until it’s completely open. 

Her hands move to the top of your boxers and her fingers hook into the elastic, gently tugging downward as her eyes look up at you from under her lashes. 

She is trying to kill me…

She tugs down a little harder, the tip of your dick now peeking out of the boxers, her lips placing a light kiss on the newly exposed area as she continues to pull your boxers off. You kick the rest of your pants off and your boxers go with it. You’re impossibly hard already and it’s obvious with the way it springs up toward your stomach the moment it’s no longer restricted by your clothes.

She’s obviously proud of the way your body is reacting to her, smirking as she takes your length into her hand gently stroking you. The feel of her hand wrapped around you like this, is like nothing you were ever able to conjure up in your imagination. 

“I’ve been thinking of this too baby. Trust me.” you bite your lip as you gaze down at the sight below you. 

Her eyes part from yours as she looks at her hand working its way up and down before opening her mouth and sliding her silky smooth tongue across the underside of your dick as her lips wrap around you taking your entire length into her mouth. She gently slaps her tongue with the head of your cock as she looks into your eyes once again. You let out a guttural moan as she then takes you fully in her mouth once more, working her way tantalizingly slow and releasing you with an audible pop of her lips.

She is trying to kill me. I will be thinking about this for far too long…

She begins to work her way up and down you a bit faster now, swirling her tongue as she reaches your tip each time. It feels so good you cant help but tell her.

“Fuck you make me feel so good, babe. I love your perfect lips, you look so beautiful.” You say.

She hums in appreciation, not willing to release you from her mouth. Her hand is still wrapped at your base, starting a twisting motion as she continues bobbing her head at a steady pace. You aren’t going to last if she keeps going. A groan leaves your chest as you collect her hair at the back of her head. 

You cant help but stare at her as she continues. She is so gorgeous.

You step back and pull out of her mouth. “Baby, I have to have you, and if you keep going, I will never get to spend the time I want worshiping every inch of your body.” You say.

You run your thumb over her lips, collecting the spit on your finger. “It’s my turn.”

She leans back on her elbows and you crouch down to squat in front of her, unbuttoning her jeans and slowly sliding them down her legs, revealing her green lace panties, running your thumb over her center. She wiggles her hips wanting more.

Oh she is ready….

“I see you’ve been thinking about something else too… You’re so wet for me already.” you drag your index and middle finger down her clothed slit, returning some of the playful teasing that she was torturing you with just moments earlier.

You throw her jeans on the floor and crawl over her body, hovering over her. Bending your head down to kiss her neck, trailing down her sternum, your hand reaches down and you pull her shirt up to expose her stomach. You kiss the exposed skin, stopping right as you reach the top of her panties. She writhes underneath you, squirming with anticipation. 

“Please Josh…” she begs.

You smile at her and grab the hem of her shirt helping her lift it over her head. 

Holy fuck, she's a dream. What did you do to deserve this angel?

Her matching green lace bra is sheer and you can see her hard nipples through the floral pattern. She is stunning. 

You connect your mouth to the exposed flesh at the top of the cup of her bra, placing wet kisses on the plump skin. Making sure each side gets the same amount of attention. Your hands come up to the straps and you hook your fingers under each one, pulling them slowly down her shoulders. As they hang freely on her shoulders, you scoop her tits out from each cup, releasing them from the green fabric. You reach underneath her and unclip the hook easily, throwing the bra across the room.

Her skin is covered in goosebumps at the coldness of the air against her. Your hand reaches up to her right tit gently massaging and rolling her nipple between your fingers. A moan leaves her mouth and your cock twitches at the sound. 

You take her left nipple into your mouth and begin swirling around the bud with your tongue, a gentle bite every now and then. Her hips are arching upward into you. You release her and snake your way back down her body, placing a lingering kiss on her center, over her panties. You sneak your fingers into the hem, pulling them down her legs as you kneel on the floor in front of her. 

You part her legs and begin kissing your way up her thigh starting at her knee. 

“I am going to take my time and enjoy every single second of this. I have wanted you like this for so long, I can hardly stand it. Gonna make you feel so good, gonna worship this beautiful body.” You say between kisses. 

As you reach her center you swipe a finger through her folds collecting her wetness on your fingers. A gasp leaving her lips at the contact. You make the connection again, this time your fingertips teasing her clit. A moan escapes her lips and you smile against her.

“I love hearing how good I make you feel, baby. Could listen to that sweet sound forever.” You groan, your cock inexplicably hard at the sound.

You cant wait any longer and you connect your mouth with her core. Your tongue runs through her slit, allowing you to fully taste her sweet cunt. You swirl your tongue around her clit, as she grabs fistfuls of your hair, pulling you in closer to her. 

“Josh, it feels so good, please…” she begs.

You slide a finger inside of her and feel her tense around you as she cries out at the new sensation. 

“Oh, my girl you’re so tight for me.” You whisper against her. 

Working your finger in and out you slowly add another, curling them upward to reach her the spot you know will make her come undone for you. You know you found it when she screams out in pleasure. Taking the cue you continue pumping your fingers and begin sucking on her clit, knowing she is getting closer and closer.

Her body begins to shake with her impending orgasm, her legs trembling and her eyes screwed shut in concentration. 

“Josh, please keep going, I’m so close…” she cries

“Cum for me baby, let me taste you, you taste so good.” You say. 

With one more curl of your fingers she is coming undone, a cry leaving her lips as she reaches her peak. 

HER POV

Coming down from your orgasm you are breathing heavily and a light sheen of sweat has glossed over your body. You look down and your eyes meet his, sparkling with desire. 

He stands up and crawls back over your body, bending down to press a soft kiss to your lips, biting your lip and dragging it back with him as he pulls away. You wrap your hands around his body, pulling him back in. 

“Josh, please. Fuck me now. I want to feel you.” You beg.

He reaches between you and grabs his dick positioning himself with your opening. He runs the tip through your center collecting the wetness before he pushes inside. You both groan at the relief of the tension as he holds himself inside of you, catching the breath he didn’t even know he was holding. 

He presses his pillow soft lips to yours and begins to pull out before sliding back in. You arch your back into him as he hits your g spot. 

“Oh my god baby, you feel so so good…” he cries out, as his hips thrust into your core. 

“Josh, keep going, harder…” you beg.

He begins to snap his hips slightly harder, nailing you right where you need him. You’re still reeling from your first orgasm and the overstimulation of his pubic bone brushing against your clit with each thrust already has you teetering the edge of another. 

“Just like that Josh… Right fucking there. Don’t stop.” you whine, wrapping your leg around his. 

His hand comes up to your face, slipping into your hair. “God, I want you like this forever…. So beautiful and needy calling my name….” He says in a lower register than usual and you can feel a rush of wetness creeping over your center. 

“Josh, I like it when you talk to me like that, do it again.” You beg.

“You like it when I talk to you baby? Want me to tell you all about how good you feel wrapped around my cock? So fucking tight and warm, just for me…. You’re mine now baby...” He grunts between thrusts, hitting you just right. The pressure in your stomach maxing out.

“Josh, I’m gonna cum…” You cry, wrapping your hands around his wrists that are pinned next to your head.

He snaps his hips into you one last time and you throw your head back as his name escapes your lips in a drawn out whine. Your orgasm rips through you and all you can see is his beautiful face staring back at you. 

As you tighten around him you feel him begin to twitch inside of you, “I’m close baby, do you want me to pull out?” He asks desperately.

“No, please Josh…” you reply, coming down from your orgasm as he is reaching his peak. 

A few loud grunts from him and he is spilling into you with a groan, throwing his head back at the sensation. 

As he comes down his lips furiously find yours, peppering your face with kisses. 

He pulls out of you and immediately walks to the bathroom, returning with a washcloth. He drags the warm cloth over your center, cleaning up the remnants of the evening taking special care and being overly gentle. Adoring you.

He stops and looks up at you with a soft smile. 

“I will never, ever, get tired of seeing your face. You are an angel.” He says, standing up and walking back to the bathroom. You hear the faucet running and a minute later he walks out. He opens the bedroom door and returns with your bag and a glass of water. 

“Thank you.” you say, taking the glass with a smile. “And thanks for grabbing my bag but…can I sleep in your shirt again?”

“You don’t even have to ask…” he says smiling, walking over to the drawer and looking for the perfect one for you. He tosses you a battered and well loved t-shirt you can tell is one of his favorites. He grabs a pair of navy blue boxers, and slides them over his legs. As he stands you can really see the definition of his torso, you take your time admiring his defined stomach. He catches you staring and gives you a smirk, raising his eyebrows.

“All yours….” He quips. 

You blush and quickly get up, pulling on the t-shirt. You make your way to your bag and pull out a pair of cheeky panties and put them on. Walking back to the bed, you crawl under the duvet this time. Josh fluffs up your pillow and lays on his side to face you wrapping his arm around you. 

“I love the sex, don’t get me wrong. But this is the best part to me. Just getting to hold you.” He says.

Your heart constricts at the sentiment. 

He is the sweetest man on earth. 

“So…Tomorrow I would like to take you out, on a date, if you want to.” He says nervously.

A real date? 

“Of course I want to Josh, I want to do everything with you. I just want to be with you.” You reply. 

He kisses your cheek, rolls over and turns the lamp off. You feel him scoot his body closer to you. Your back is to his chest now and he snakes his hand under your shirt and rests his cold hand on your waist, sending a chill up your body as you giggle.

“I think we will go to the next town over? I want to keep you to myself for a while. Just us. I don’t want anyone to know yet. Is that okay?” He asks kissing your neck.

“I think thats probably for the best.” You reply, relief rushing over your body. You aren’t ready to have this conversation with anyone yet. You want to be with him, want to scream it from the rooftops, but you aren’t ready to face the guys just yet. You cringe thinking about what the fans would say if they found out.

“I’m nervous for how all of this will play out with the guys. I know this is such a mess…. I’m just scared of what they will think… or say.” You say nervously.

“Oh, baby don’t be. I will talk to all of them. I just want to wait until the time is right.” He says reassuringly.

“Okay, I trust you.” You say.

“Thats all I have ever wanted. Always gonna put you first, my girl. Promise.” He says, his voice growing sleepy.

You snuggle into him, and wrap your feet with his. You close your eyes and fall asleep easily, wrapped in his warmth. 

Little did you know that time would force your hand.

.

.

.

.

[silverwings22]

Song of the Sea: Chapter 15: The Door Was Slammed Like Thunder

Chapter Warnings: profanity, sexual language, autistic meltdown (shoutout to my bestie for helping me figure out how to describe this. No lie, he's basically Tech with fiber instead of technology), body image issues, accidental self injury Series warning: explicit smut, alien anatomy (it's a monsterfucker fic, guys), major character injury, grief, canon typical violence, autistic meltdowns, and my terrible attempts at Mando'a.

Previous chapter:

Next chapter:

It had gone quiet in the ship as they made their way back to Ord Mantell, the autopilot set and everyone trying to rest the best they could. Hunter was sitting up in a deck chair on the bridge, Omega curled up in his lap and snuggled into the uninjured side of his chest. Wrecker had put a blanket over them so they could rest easy, before he and Echo had gone to the bunkroom and gone to sleep. They both needed it, stress leeching out of their skin until it was all Shiani could taste in the air. She wondered if Hunter’s heightened senses could smell it too, but she wasn’t going to ask any time soon. There was only one ship on the Havoc Marauder she was willing to deal with right now. Currently, he was sitting propped up on her pillow, back to the tailgun seat, with her under his arm and cuddling into his chest while he read something on his datapad. 

This was probably more snuggling than he really wanted from a friend, but the lines kept blurring between them. Sometimes she thought he was about to lean in and close the gap between them entirely. Other times, he looked so uncomfortable at the casual way she offered affection… And there was the matter of what Crosshair had said on Bracca.

“What, you haven’t fucked her yet?” 

Why had the sniper said that? She knew what those words meant, sharp ears picking up on the profanity Echo and Hunter said when they thought Omega wasn’t listening. Echo had be delighted to teach her to swear when she’d asked him what it meant, too, under the condition she find the funniest possible moment to swear in front of Tech. She didn’t think of a reason to swear at that face she adored so much, anyway… but she needed to ask the questions. Otherwise it would eat her alive. 

“Tech?”

“Yes?” His eyes darted immediately from the datapad to her face on his chest. “Everything alright?”

“I have a question. When we saw Crosshair… I know he wasn’t himself, but what he said about me. What was he talking about?” 

Tech’s face immediately went blood red. “He was trying to get a rise out of me. That’s all.” 

Shiani sat up on her knees in front of him. “But why did he ask that? Why would he think you wanted to…” She hesitated, looking at his suddenly panicked face. She considered dropping it right then and there, putting her head back down and apologizing. But the feeling wouldn’t pass. “Why would he think you’d want to… have sex with me? And what did he mean about my tentacles?” 

Tech shook his head. “It is not important. He was being needlessly cruel.”

“I know that. He said I was a freak and made fun of my mouth.” She muttered, squishing her hands over her cheeks. “But he also said you wanted to stick your-”

“Shiani, stop!” Tech snapped, and the siren’s eyes widened. He’d never raised his voice at her before. His face was so red she could feel the heat from a foot away, and his fists had balled into fists by his sides. “We are not discussing this. It is a pointless conversation about something we have already decided.”

“You decided.” She sat back, weight on her feet under her, and crossed her legs and tentacles while searching his face. He wouldn’t look her in the eyes, his own darting behind her to the exit of the tailgun. “... you do want it, don’t you?”

Tech’s eye twitched, and he decided if he ever got a chance he was going to punch Crosshair in the face for this humiliating situation. Shiani was just staring at him, and the spotlight of her blue gaze made him want to claw his skin off. There were too many variables, too much data to sort through. Her expression was frustrated, and he didn’t like her being upset with him. “I am not discussing this.”

“But you toldl your brother you want to fuck me?!” She demanded, the seams of her jaw trembling as she fought to not show exactly how frustrated she was. She wasn’t going to bare her teeth at Tech. Never at Tech. “All this time I thought you didn’t feel like that about me, and I was okay with that. But you do, and you’d tell everyone but me?” 

“I did not tell everyone but you. I was drunk, and accidentally told Crosshair years ago.” Tech’s throat was burning. He never shouted, and definitely not at Shiani, but he couldn’t stop himself. Everything was out of control, including himself, and he needed to get out of the situation before he imploded. “The minute you found out, it started an argument.” He stood up so fast she tried to track him and fell over on her ass. 

The meltdown was burning under his skin like a storm of buzzing Ithorian honeybees, and he had to get away from all the stimulus. Shiani was usually the source of serotonin he could seek out when he was overstimulated, but right now she was the cause of the problem and he had to go. Immediately. When he stepped over her and headed for the cockpit, she scrambled to her feet after him. “Tech, wait!”

“I am aware your interest in me was proximity based, and adding a sexual element without a romantic one is unfair. I cannot give you the latter in a way you deserve. That is why I did not mention it, or intend to ever do so!” He was still yelling, speeding ahead of her. Echo and Wrecker’s heads popped out of the bunkroom and Hunter sat up with an arm around Omega from the bridge as Shiani less-than-gracefully ran after. 

“Why are you so convinced you can’t?!” She demanded, trying to get to the door before he could lock her out of the cockpit. “Tech, just wait-”

She almost made it. Her fingers were an inch from the durasteel when it slammed shut and she ran face first into the door, bouncing off it and back onto her ass. She squeaked, rubbing her flat nose before getting up and tapping the keypad. 

Her access code displayed an error code. He’d locked her out.

She smacked her fist against the door. “Tech! Tech, open the door, please. Can we just talk about this?!” 

There was no answer, and when she tried the code again and it errored out, she hissed angrily at it and showed her teeth. She felt helpless and couldn’t understand what was going on anymore. She loved Tech. Tech clearly cared about her, and wanted her… so why the hell was he so sure they’d fail?! What had she done wrong?!

“Shiani?” Omega whispered, woken up by the yelling and banging. 

The siren turned around, leaning against the wall and sinking to the floor again, hands over her mouth desperately. “I don’t understand.” Her voice was ragged and sad sounding, muffled behind her palms. 

Hunter carefully set Omega down and put his ear against the cockpit door, then attempted his own access code. When it errored out too, he sighed. “Tech, you’ve got until we get to Ord Mantell to reinstate my access.” 

Echo and Wrecker looked concerned as Omega crouched next to Shiani. The poor siren kept trying to cover her face, sobs wracking her entire frame and her tentacles flailing helplessly across the floor. “What happened?” Echo frowned. 

Shiani’s explanation was a muffled attempt that none of them could understand between her hands and crying. Omega gently took her wrists, trying to pull her hands away. “Shiani…”

The siren didn’t have the strength to fight her on it, and revealed a tear-soaked face that had turned blue with embarrassment. The seam of her mouth on either side trembled like a child’s quivering bottom lip, gapping open in places as she struggled to get enough air between sobs. “I don’t understand.” She repeated brokenly, sounding defeated.

Hunter sighed and crouched to give her a hand up, startled when she threw her arm over her face again. “Easy, Shiani. Tech just needs some time and quiet. He’ll be okay.”

Wrecker frowned. “Uh oh. He having a meltdown?”

Hunter nodded. “Sounds like a bad one. I haven’t seen one like this in years…” He tried to gently pry Shiani’s arms down again, but she was stubbornly covering her head. Now that he thought about it, he hadn’t seen a severe meltdown out of his brother since right before that training exercise that Tech had almost drowned during… after that, he just went to another room and came out a little later feeling better. Had Tech been calling Shiani to soothe himself all those times? “C’mon, Shiani. Look at me for a second.”

“No. You said I have a freaky mouth!” She mumbled. “Crosshair did too, and a whole bunch of other stuff, and now Tech’s mad at me and I don’t understand why.” 

Hunter and Echo exchanged looks. “Is that what this is about?” Echo sighed.

Wrecker sighed and looked at Echo. “You just let us know when Tech comes out. Hunter, you got Omega?”

The sergeant nodded, walking Omega back to her room so he could try to get her back to bed. Wrecker just picked Shiani up and tossed the deflated, crying siren on his shoulder to take her back to her own room.

Wrecker tucked her into her blankets and sat beside her, giving her a tissue. “It’s gonna be okay.”

“He’s mad at me. He yelled at me.” Shiani whimpered. “Tech never yells at me…”

“You wanna tell me what happened?” Wrecker asked kindly. “He hasn’t freaked out like that in a long time, so it must have been bad.”

Shiani sniffled, putting her hands on either cheek to cover her trembling jaw. “I asked him about what Crosshair said… and he got mad. But he did wanna… do what Crosshair was talking about with me. I don’t understand why it’s a bad thing… he cares about me, right? And I love him. If he wanted to, all he had to do was ask.” She looked pitiful and tired. “But then he said he couldn’t give me what I deserve? I don’t know what that means or why he couldn’t…”

Wrecker sighed. “Tech’s a workaholic.”

“I know.” She brought her knees up and hugged them, tentacles twining around herself until she was a pile of coils. “What’s that got to do with it?”

“I dunno what siren relationships look like, but the only thing we know is what you see on the holo.” Wrecker explained. “The war made it complicated to see anyone a second time, you know?”

“Bar girls and dancers.” Shiani grumbled, remembering some of Tech’s old stories. It had always made her jealous, deep down, even if she bit her tongue about it. 

“Yeah. But for something real, you’ve gotta pay attention to the person. Tech… well, you know how he gets. I dunno if he could pay attention to you like you’d probably want him to. Plus he hates when stuff changes, and a lot of changes already happened lately.” Wrecker proved once again he was the most emotionally intelligent brother on board, and got right to the point.

Shiani grumbled into her suckers. “Nothing’s gotta get different that he doesn’t wanna do. We already snuggle and spend all our time together. He doesn't have to stop working, or act differently around me… I just wish that when he picked his arm up for me to get under it, I didn’t feel like I didn't belong there. Like that’s someone else's place… even if it’s my favorite spot in the galaxy.” 

Wrecker put an arm around her. “It’ll be okay, Shiani.”

“No it won’t.” She leaned into the comfort, and Wrecker was a good hugger but she still wished it was Tech. “It doesn’t make any sense to me, Wrecker. My hearts tell me one thing, his agree, and then his mouth says something else. Why does it have to be so hard?! Why can’t I just love him?” 

Wrecker patted her back as she cried again, until her entire body went limp from all the heavy weight of her emotions and she was sprawled across him like a sad little doll. “Everything’s gonna work out. Just you wait and see.” He assured her, wrapping her in a blanket like a sushi roll and putting her in her bed. “Tech’s gonna take a little white to get his head back on straight, and then he’ll be normal again. I dunno all the details, but this used to happen a lot when we were cadets. Just give him some time, okay?” 

She nodded unhappily. “... Wrecker?”

“Hm?”

“Does everybody think my mouth is scary? Hunter and Crosshair both said something about it… and I wondered if maybe that’s why Tech didn’t… if I was too weird…” She swallowed hard, eyes watering up all over again. Wrecker was pretty sure she was going to end up dehydrated from all the crying. 

“We’re all weird, Shiani. That just means you fit in with us.” He said gently. “I’m too big. Tech’s too smart. Hunter’s a walking radar. Echo’s half metal. Omega’s a girl. You have a mouth like a flip-top trash can with teeth. It’s okay, we belong together.” He gave his sad sashimi roll friend one last hug and got her a glass of water that he held for her to drink from without escaping the blanket burrito. “Now go to sleep. Everything will be better when we get to Ord Mantell.” 

She wiggled with a squeaky sound. “...I don’t like when he’s mad at me.”

“If I know Tech, he’s madder at himself than you, Shiani.” Wrecker patted the general area of her leg and left her to try to sleep. 

Hunter had fallen back asleep with Omega in her room, the girl tucked up against her side, and Echo was sitting vigil outside the cockpit with his arms folded and his chin on his chest. Wrecker sighed sadly. 

This was gonna be a mess to fix. 

In the cockpit, Tech had disabled every entry code but his own the second the door shut. He’d heard Shiani’s face smack into it and her typing at the keypad, though her voice was muffled by the door. He backed up, dropping into the pilot’s seat and pushing his hands over his ears so he didn’t have to hear her calling his name. 

He felt like he was in a crashing starfighter with dead controls. Everything was spinning around him, and usually when he felt this way he could comm her and everything got better at the sight of those happy blue eyes.

She wasn’t happy with him now. She was demanding answers he didn’t have. He was supposed to have the answers. He was failing, and just like he would if he made the attempt she was asking for. He couldn’t give her the attention she deserved, no matter how much he might want to.

And Manda above, he wanted to. He’d have given just about anything to open that door and pull her inside the cockpit, kiss her, call her his… damn his distaste for change when this was the one thing he’d wanted for years. But if he fucked it up, and all logic said he would, she’d come to resent him. When that happened, she’d leave. He’d lose her, the one thing he couldn’t stand to lose. The only thing in the galaxy he’d ever wanted to keep all for himself was Shiani, and how cruel it was that his very nature was incompatible with his desires. 

He’d been trying to get his ragged breathing under control when he heard Hunter tap the door. “Tech, you’ve got until we get to Ord Mantell to reinstate my access.” 

He didn’t reply, knowing Hunter had surely heard him panting. He and Wrecker had seen this before, when the galaxy got to be too much and Tech’s ability to bear it crumbled. He just needed to get away from all the stimulus and reset himself like a droid in need of service-

His left thigh hurt. Why did- shit. His fist had been slamming down on it for at least a couple minutes, hard enough to bruise and he hadn’t even realized he was doing it. The dull ache was the last straw in his overloaded brain. Too much was touching him. It needed to be gone.

He was slinging his kit off like it was on fire before he knew it, armor scattered around the room with his belt and many external pockets. It wasn’t enough, and the boots and blacks went next. Had he always hated the compression suit this much? Usually it was just a background annoyance, but right now it was the worst thing that had ever happened to him. And he’d been shot more than once. 

The backlight on the console was too bright. Hyperspace was too bright, but he could only turn off the former before he was crawling under the console and tossing his goggles off on the floor behind him. Once he got the humming bulkhead against his bare back and his face pressed into his upraised knees, everything seemed slightly less overwhelming. Only slightly, though. 

He was dimly aware of how he must look, stripped to his grays and curled up in the fetal position under a console like a child throwing a tantrum. He wanted to handle it better, but he just couldn’t. His face was hot with embarrassment, and he kept mulling over Crosshair’s voice and Shiani’s wide-eyed hurt expression. She must have thought he hated her right now… she was soft hearted enough to believe this was all her fault. He’d certainly snapped at her like it was…

He might have shot himself in the foot, slamming the door in her face. What if she left anyway? He couldn’t blame her, finding out her best friend had been refusing her affection but fantasizing about her. He didn’t want to see when her hurt look morphed into judgment… and now that his brothers had heard their fight and brought back Crosshair’s stupid fucking comment, theirs as well. 

He hugged his knees a little tighter and closed his eyes. There were a couple more hours till Ord Mantell, and if his brain was a biological computer… he needed to turn it off and back on again. He needed a nap, and he wasn’t coming out from under the console to do it, dammit.

[bonesandthebees]

500 words on the Lovejoy concert: go

500 oh god oh fuck

Glasgow was a really fun concert!! Though it’d probably rank as one of my lower ones just bc I didn’t do the whole queue all day experience so it felt a lot shorter to me (and also it was such a huge venue)

I originally debated doing the all day queue bc I was selling my ticket to a Twitter mutual of mine I’ve met up with at concerts before, and they were planning on queueing all day. But when my alarm woke me up around 6 am I texted them asking what the queue was like and they said their friends held a spot for them at 4 am and they were 24th in the queue. Like, what.

So yeah I decided that wasn’t how I wanted to spend my last full day in Glasgow lol. Instead I took a tour of a whisky distillery (I do not like whisky but it’s Scotland so I figured why not) and got tipsy off the whisky samples they gave us. Then I went to a science museum across the way from the distillery (technically it’s meant for kids but it’s meant for adults to enjoy too) so I was just slightly drunk playing around with interactive science exhibits and befriended one of the staff members lmao

ANYWAY then around 4 I got to the venue and got in line (doors opened at 7). Got some takeaway from a nearby restaurant and ate it in line, it was very spicy but it kept me warm bc it was raining so I wasn’t complaining. Then I just kinda hung out there and chatted a bit with the girl behind me! We ended up being next to each other at the actual gig and became buddies which was nice and I was actually closer to the stage than I expected to be. Also I got tired of the ‘someone holds pictures up to the crowd on their phone and lets them cheer and boo respectively’ bit that happened at a few lovejoy gigs this past year, but it was pretty funny when someone held up the Scottish flag for everyone to cheer, and then the English flag for everyone to boo (and ofc I joined in)

It was SO HOT. At first I was glad bc as I said it was raining outside so I was shivering by the time we got in, but it didn’t take long for it to get sweaty. Loupe as an opening act was SO good. I’d never heard of them before but their music was so good!! (also the lead singer and the bassist were both so pretty I was having such a gay moment). Then Goodkid performed and tbh I know a ton of Lovejoy fans love their music but I’d never heard their stuff before, but I get it now they have such a fun sound and great energy!! Definitely gonna save some songs from them when I get around to it

Then lovejoy was fantastic as always. Although we were only about 3 songs in when someone fainted and everything had to stop. I couldn’t see what was going on from where I was but I hope the person’s okay! This was my 5th lovejoy gig but it was the first time someone’s fainted at one I’ve been to.

Then we resumed and in between songs the boys would start playing this instrumental track I didn’t recognize, but I filmed each time it happened bc it didn’t just sound like random jamming. I sent the clips to firesnap after the gig and she and I both agree it sounds like snippets from a possible new song so… :)))

Also Lovejoy covered The Killers at my gig which was so good. At first I was confused bc it was a mashup with cause for concern so I got hyped thinking it was cfc and then Wilbur started singing different lyrics but it slapped so I’m so glad I got to see that in person.

Anyway overall really good gig!! Also I wasn’t getting shoved nearly as much as I have at American gigs so shoutout to the Scottish for that

Is this 500 words? Is this more? I don’t feel like plugging it into a word counter so this is what you get lol

[kafus]

what's your personal story with lumineon? i'm really happy to see empoleon, cradily, and fidough here since they're some of my own favorites! - 🦢

ogh ty for asking, i forget if i've shared this before but even if i have i'm doing it again LOL

even though FRLG was my first pokemon game, for a variety of reasons, i consider sinnoh/gen 4 to be my true childhood pokemon games. despite this, my childhood memory is extremely spotty (i am almost 24 years old + i have a severe dissociative disorder, i don't remember shit ever LOL) and so my memories of actually playing gen 4 are very few and far between. but lumineon is involved in two of the ones i still manage to hold onto

in pokemon diamond, i actually completed the natdex as a child, which was an arduous process that took me a Really long time, i don't know how long. i unfortunately no longer have this save file. gen 4 was obviously the dawn of wifi features and i always wanted to complete my dex in FRLG but i couldn't because i didn't have the hardware/games to trade with myself and i didn't have friends (in fact i was bullied pretty severely for liking pokemon, i had to change schools) so when i could use the GTS and trade with people online i got VERY excited about dex completion, and just like, interacting with people. i managed the task with a mix of breeding eevees and evolving them into eeveelutions as trading chips on the GTS and using my mom's yahoo account without her permission to ask for trades from people on fucking Yahoo Answers lol (sorry mom SDJKSD)

i don't actually remember doing most of this, i was just able to put it back together with context clues from my pearl file that survived and things i am just vaguely aware happened but don't actually have Sensory Memory of. BUT what i do remember is that one night i realized i was finally almost done and somehow the finneon line is the one line of pokemon i never got. they were the Final Dex Entries i needed. i did everything in a really weird order and wasn't prioritizing the sinnoh regional dex lol

so i went and caught a finneon and grinded it to evolve it into lumineon. i think the reason i remember this is because i was so close to being done, i was way more impatient with grinding than usual, and then just like. the sheer pride and relief i felt when that finneon evolved and then scrolling through the complete dex list is like nothing i had ever felt before gonna be honest. high point of my childhood

even back then i formed an attachment to lumineon in this moment and i used that lumineon for other stuff in sinnoh. i don't remember how i found this out, but one of the first competitive doubles strategies i ever learned was that thunder always hits in rain, and i knew that my lumineon had rain dance through level-up and i had a luxray with thunder, and i was Obsessed with pokemon battle revolution, so i have a brief memory of spamming thunder with my luxray after setting up the rain with lumineon and being really proud of myself for that (even though there's way more optimal ways to do this that i'm aware of now LOL, cut me some slack i was 8 years old)

this is a really long explanation cause i wanted to really emphasize WHY this meant so much to me as a kid but tldr lumineon was the last remaining pokemon left for me to get the dex entry for in sinnoh as a kid and it was a culmination of a lot of months of work and then i went on to use that lumineon in battles and yeah shoutout to lumineon

[captainsophiestark]

Loveable Asshole

Jack Thompson x Reader

Masterlist - Join My Taglist!

Written for Agent Carter Bingo 2022! @agentcarterbingo​

Fandom: Marvel

Square Filled: Jack Thompson

Summary: Y/N and Jack have always had a flirty relationship, but every time Jack tries to take it further by asking Y/N on a date, she shuts it down. He usually doesn't let it bother him, but when the pair gets stuck working the night shift together, he's determined to finally understand

Word Count: 2,060

Category: Angst, Fluff

A/N: Shoutout to @fandomsandxfiles​ for her Agent Carter filing system headcanon. I love it and have adopted it, for this fic and in general

Putting work into an AI program without permission is illegal. You do not have my permission. Do not do it.

"Hey, Y/L/N."

I looked up to find none other than Agent Jack Thompson swaggering towards me from across the bullpen. I put my pen down and rested my chin on my hand, giving him my full attention.

"It looks like it's you and me working the night shift tonight."

I sat up a little straighter at that, my fake interest turning very real. I'd been trying to talk Dooley into letting me take a night shift for some added responsibility for a long time, but now it was apparently really happening. And with Jack Thompson, no less.

"Alright, great!" I said, giving Jack a smile before looking back to the papers I was working on. "Ugh, I'm gonna need a lot more coffee though."

"You and me both," said Jack. He walked around to my side of the desk and perched on the edge, so I turned to look at him. He gave me a charming smile. "I'll brew us a fresh post as soon as Krzeminski's gone for the night so he can't steal it all or otherwise fuck it up."

I smiled back. Since a few months ago when I'd joined the SSR, Jack and I had maintained a friendly flirty relationship. It never went further than talking, though, despite Jack asking me out a few times now. I liked him a lot of the time, but he acted like a sexist ass enough of the rest of the time that I knew a date would be a mistake.

"Having tried your version of the office coffee before, I feel like I might have to pass..."

Jack just scoffed, but he couldn't keep a slight smile off his face anyway.

"Well, it's gonna be my coffee or nothing," he said, pushing off my desk to go back to his own work. "Choice is yours, sweetheart. You've got a couple hours to think about it."

I just smiled and shook my head at him as he left. I stared after him across the office, until I noticed someone else's eyes on me. I turned to see Daniel Sousa, my good friend and desk neighbor, staring at me with a raised eyebrow. My smile immediately dropped into a glare.

"Need something, Daniel?"

He shrugged. "Nope. Except maybe an explanation for what the hell is going on with you and Thompson."

"Catch me up on you and Peggy first."

Daniel and I held each others' stares for a few beats, then Daniel held out his hand.

"Agree to both drop it?"

"Agreed."

I shook his hand and we nodded to each other, then turned back to our own work. Tonight would be interesting, to say the least, but on the bright side, none of my lovely judgy friends would have a front row seat to Thompson and I dancing around each other this time.

****************

"Fresh cup of coffee, hot off the pot."

I made a show of squinting suspiciously at the coffee mug as Jack walked over and set it down in front of me. The last of the day-shift agents had left about ten minutes ago, which meant Jack and I were officially on our own.

"You can't look at it like that until you've tried it."

I turned my expression on Jack. "I can and will look at it however I want to."

Jack sighed. He walked to his own desk, then pulled his chair across the room to sit next to me. He sat and scooted a little closer, then reached across my desk and slid the coffee mug in front of me. He took a sip of his own mug pointedly.

"Come on. Try it."

I made a big show of sighing dramatically (which made Jack smile), then reached forward to grab the mug. Slowly, I lifted it to my mouth, pausing to sniff it first. The smell alone helped to wake me up, which was a serious blessing.

Jack watched me the entire time until, finally, I tried a sip of the coffee. To my surprise, it tasted amazing. Hands-down some of the best coffee I'd ever had. My eyebrows shot up, and I turned to look at Jack in surprise. He had a smug smile on his face.

"Not bad, huh?"

I took another sip of the coffee, and my eyes immediately narrowed.

"There is no way you made this," I said. Jack pretended to look offended, leaning back in his chair and placing a hand over his heart.

"Excuse me? Sweetheart, I'm insulted that-"

"Jack, that coffee pot is old as shit and has been used by literally every person in the office since before the war. There is no way anyone could make coffee this good in it."

Jack cleared his throat and looked away, but it wasn't enough to hide the slight blush rising on his neck.

"Jack, come on," I said, leaning forward and putting a hand on his shoulder. "You can admit it. Where did you get the coffee from?"

He mumbled something that I couldn't quite hear. I grinned as I leaned in a little closer, until we were basically cheek to cheek, and I reached my arm all the way around his shoulders.

"Say that one more time?"

"I went out to your favorite coffee shot and got it," he said, finally straightening up. The space between us grew again, but as my hand fell away from his shoulders, he caught it in his own hand and held it. "I left twenty minutes ago to pick up two cups for us, alright?"

I just stared at him in shock. He stared back, and for one of only a handful of times that I'd seen, he stared back without any hint of posturing.

"Jack, that's actually... that's really sweet," I finally managed to say. He sighed through his nose and looked down at our hands. Slowly, almost absently, he entwined our fingers, then at last looked up at me again.

"I don't think I've exactly been hiding the fact that I have a thing for you, Y/L/N. And at the risk of making this whole night incredibly awkward for the both of us..." he paused and cleared his throat, and I braced myself for what I knew was coming. "I wanted to ask if you'd like to get dinner with me this weekend, when we're both off."

I sighed. Now it was my turn to stare at our hands, but unlike Jack, I didn't look up as I started speaking.

"Jack, I just... I don't think it's a good idea."

"Why not?" he asked, leaning in and gripping my hand a little tighter. "Every time I flirt with you, you flirt back. But every time I ask you to go do something, you say no. I just... I don't get it, Y/N. Are you not really interested?"

I took a deep breath as I forced myself to meet his eyes. Our faces were only inches apart, and I hated the way it made my heart race.

"You're very handsome, Jack, and charming. But I like our relationship as it is right now."

"Well I don't!" Jack paused, taking a few beats to collect himself, and when he looked up at me again he seemed more genuinely upset than he'd ever been in front of me. "Y/N, I have never felt about someone the way I feel about you. You think I normally walk ten blocks to get a girl her favorite kind of coffee?"

"Jack-"

"Listen, if you don't feel the same way about me, that's fine. I'll find a way to deal with that. But I need to hear you say it. I can't deal with this constant flirting and only flirting anymore."

I pulled my hand out of Jack's and instead ran it through my hair as I stared at anything in the room but him. I did not ever want to have this conversation, especially not in the middle of my first time working the night shift, but Jack was right. I owed him the truth.

"I'm sorry for stringing you along," I started. From my peripheral, I could see Jack tense. "I'd be lying if I said I didn't have feelings for you."

"But?"

"But... I don't know, Jack. I just don't think I can do it. It drives me crazy, because sometimes, you're the sweetest person I've ever met. You're getting me coffee and we're in the field working like a well-trained unit, back to back, and you have these moments where everything else fades away and it feels like I can see your heart shining through your words and your eyes and then..."

I took a deep breath and deflated as I let it out.

"And then other times you're telling Peggy to take the lunch orders and do your filing. And you're acting like this arrogant douchebag swaggering around the office and listening to absolutely no one, and I hate it. That part of you, Jack... I can't do it. I can't date somebody who spends so much of their time acting like that. No matter how much I like everything else about them."

Jack took a long, deep breath as he sat back in his chair. He stared off at some distant point in the office, slowly nodding his head as he worked through everything I'd told him. I didn't push him for an answer. I just waited to hear what he might have to say.

"How about this," he finally said, leaning forward in his chair and resting his arms on his knees as he looked at me, nothing but sincerity in his face. "You give me... a week. To get my act together a little bit. If you like what you see, we go to dinner next weekend. If you don't... then I'll drop it."

"Jack... you can't completely change your personality just because you want to go on a date with me."

"It's not completely changing my personality. It's called growth, Sousa talks about it all the time. Besides, you said yourself there were parts of who I am, maybe even the majority, that you actually liked... right?"

I noticed a hint of self-doubt creeping into Jack's expression, and I couldn't help my heart melting.

"Right... Okay, why not. We'll give it a try. But I don't want you pretending to be somebody you're not or stifling the comments for next week and next week only-"

Jack fixed me with a look that said Really? and it stopped me mid-sentence.

"Y/N. You're an SSR agent with one of the best bullshit meters I've ever seen. I think we both know it'll take you about two seconds to call me out if I'm not being genuine."

I grinned. "Damn right."

We shared a laugh, and some of the tension in the room seemed to melt away. After a beat, Jack cleared his throat and sat up straight, moving his chair just slightly further away from mine.

"Well, now that we've dealt with that..." he started. I smiled. "We should probably start taking care of some of this shit Krzeminski let pile up while he was spending the day eating his lunch and making bad coffee."

"Looks like it's a lot of filing. Why don't you take care of it and I'll hold down the fort in here?"

Jack shot me a look that clearly said he knew exactly what I was doing. Still, to his credit, he grabbed the files and stood.

"If you don't see me in an hour, it means I drowned under the piles of paperwork Carter and Sousa let pile up in there every time I told one of them to file something for me."

"I'll tell the reporters the karma got you," I said, shooting Jack a wink. He just chuckled and headed back into the filing room. Obviously it was way too early to actually call anything, but I couldn't help being a little hopeful at the attitude shift he'd already made.

After tonight, maybe we were finally on the path to the more loveable side of loveable asshole. And if so, I absolutely couldn't wait for our date next weekend.

[pearlaqua-eevee]

ok and the rest of ep 22 liveblog

Urahara always showing up like that. Shady neutral until the end I see

AAAA RUKIA FELT URYU THERE. FUCK. MY RAREPAIR FRIENDSHIP CRUMBSAAAAAAA

Renji too obviously lol

"You guys are pissed at Uryu Ishida too?" lmfao Bazz-B

"I can give you a hand to go a kill him!" honey thats their FRIEND lmao sit down

hi protective-over-Uryu Rukia and Renji yeesss

ok but I do like that everyone actually gets a reaction to Uryu's betrayal, kinda shuts up the "he wasnt significant" naysayers in the fandom--BITCH HES SIGNIFICANT TO HIS FRIENDS AND EXTENDED FAMILY

"What dont you like chickens" LMFAO Renji woke up ready to sass because between this and the fight against Mask....

"Good for you" RUKIA AND RENJI PLS NEVER CHANGE I LOVE YOU BOTH

AAAND ZOMBIE BAMBI. FML

YORUICHI IS BAAAAAACK

aaa they did such a good job with the nostalgic parallels on this, ugh it makes me wanna go watch SS arc again back when the stakes were technically way lower but just because the core cast was ignorant lol

lol the dual Ichigo Orihime head tilt was cute

loved that shot of Ichigo, Orihime and Chad lookin badass and ready. Protect them!!!

"whats with that brat" people dont like to be misgendered, is whats up (no seriously they couldnt fine a single extra alt line for the reason that Gigi got pissed? We had to keep the phobia in? ok -_- )

sorry but as a writer, Yumichika suddenly being this observant and picking up on what the audience already knows just on observation, without any indication of how or why he's make the leap from "theyre bombs" to "they make whatever they touch explode"....its such a ooc-for-ic-knowledge moment to be able to have these two have a prayer of fighting back. So while the rest of the fandom is made about like 1 frame or not getting Bambi with her top unzipped, I'll be over here rolling my eyes at how this wasnt changed

I know people are probably mad about the pervert line too but because they actually did edit that line, it becomes directly about what Gigi said about being "excited" and yeah thats sick and twisted, hi, psychopath serial killer energy

"Um I wasnt asking why youre shining" LMFAO ROAST HIM GIGI

the fact that I know the fandoms been saying that scene was "hot"....and it actually is so much worse in the anime because of the voice acting....theres a reason that dialogue reads R rated, its meant to, and its meant to disgust you and theres a reason I stay away from like 95% of the fandom thats all im gonna fucking say on that

"you think im ordinary when you just said I was outstanding?" "dont take it personally, compared to me everyone is ordinary"

not me thinking about how Uryu might outwit the use of those reishi locking things

yeaaah like I know Gigi's powers are fucked up but really imagine fighting these people and realizing that not only can one of them create zombies they can control, but theyve done it to people you know and recognize. Again, no wonder the Quincy are viewed as abominations?!

Arrancars!?

DID THEY JUST USE THE WORD FUGLY OMFG!?

"I came to see that four-eyed Quincy to make him pay for what he did to me" what, so he can absolutely destroy you again? (lol sorry, I LOVE Cirucci, shes one of my fav Arrancar but GIRL. He's gotten stronger since then, I don't think you wanna actually go for him again. Love the shoutout to that tho!?)

characters being able to be revived like this really takes tension out tho lol

so like....we're all in agreement that Mayuri is a "just like what you're fighting" type character, right? Like I get loving him for being twisted and honestly open and obvious about it (unlike other villain characters and in particular some of the Quincy)... like on the one hand as a PERSON, I'm like "love to hate this character, kinda badass in a sick way". but yeah like. He's just as bad as the Quincy and I think it puts a lot of his actions in this arc into perspective in a really interesting way

Gigi singsonging while healing Bambi is really disturbing and I love this character archetype a lot so its nice to see it done well. Shes MEANT to disturb you

FUCK. AND THERES TOSHIRO. I ALMOST FORGOT

HYYYPPPPPEEEE

[shkspr]

Hellooooo I started following you because of that really really popular post you did about people not caring about stuff and how that makes them bad friends actually and that was a big big relief because I get really down on myself for being a Burden for my Whatever(s) and you were like “That’s dumb?” and I was like :0 :,) so thank you!

And I wanted to send you a random ask blah blah etc. because I saw that post and so I will because it’s allowed. What are your favorite:

- colors?

- animals?

- books?

- songs?

- superheroes?

- [anything else you want to add!]

Thank you!! <3

ahh im glad that post resonated with you<33 and thank you for sending this!!

my favorite colors besides green are yellow and orange and purple and red. but like muted colors mostly not like firetruck red or magenta or anything like that. seinfeld voice not that theres anything wrong with that!

i talked about my favorite animal species on the last ask so now im going to tell you my favorite specific animals:

my cat

my mom’s cat who is basically my cat

my girlfriend’s cat

my aunt’s tiny chihuahua/lab mix who clings like a koala and snorts like a pig and is named after rey from star wars but her name is rae bc my uncle didnt know how to spell rey from star wars

all of my friends’ cats

all of my friends’ non-cat pets (sorry)

nibbler from futurama

my favorite books!!!!! are:

jane eyre

hamlet (is a play obviously but i own four or five copies and ive read it upwards of twenty times and it is a book)

the phantom tollbooth

the princess bride

good omens

wuthering heights

anything leonard cohen except for beautiful losers

my favorite songs is more complicated bc i dont have like a set List of Favorites like i do with other things bc there are just too many songs yk. but heres a selection of songs off the top of my (not entirely sober) head that are perennial favorites of mine:

a better son/daughter rilo kiley

bridge over troubled water

gucci gucci by kreayshawn

wasabi by little mix

literally every single mountain goats song but shoutout to autoclave my forever fave

also literally every single mika song but special shoutout to elle me dit and good guys and no place in heaven

and literally every single daisy the great song but special shoutout to glitter and persephone and time machine

piano man

fuck it. all too well

it’s alright and so down mother mother

my favorite superhero. is buffy the vampire slayer :^) thats not meant to be a Statement of any kind it is just the answer to that question

my favorite vegetable recipe is roasted or grilled onion mushroom and zucchini with a good helping of salt and pepper and the chewy brown edges, served over rice with your protein of choice (i prefer tofu or chicken) and you can use teriyaki sauce or lemon butter or anything you want !

AND my favorite flavor of ice cream is strawberry cheesecake :^)

[thefreakandthehair]

2,4,6,8 for the ST asks!

hi friend! thank youuuu!

2. Favorite season of Stranger Things and your favorite scene in it?

answered here!

4. Saddest/most heartbreaking death for you?

eddie's. I know that seems really obvious, but it's not necessarily his death as a whole that was so tragic to me, but it's what it meant (or didn't). he didn't have to die. he didn't need to sacrifice anything, he didn't need redemption, he didn't need to go back. the whole narrative around "oh, he ran away so now he has to do the opposite and go back!!!" was so fucking unnecessary and a terrible message. the team still needed him, he fit in perfectly with the rest of the ensemble, there was so much wasted potential. it was lazy writing and I'll stand on that hill. I would also say max's (shoutout, once again, to caleb screaming for erica because that will haunt me for the rest of my life) but she's not actually dead.

6. Death predictions for season 5?

steve and/or dustin. that "you die, I die" line from s3 hits different when you think about how much traumatic grief and loss dustin's experienced, especially with eddie dying in fucking front of him. steve would absolutely go to sacrifice himself and I don't think dustin can handle that again. to be clear, I'm not saying I want that, but I could see it happening.

8. Favorite weapon/power?

el's a badass, obviously, and her powers are wild but I'm going nancy and her guns. something-something "the subversion of gender roles in the 80s and the power of human triumph over even supernatural forces". also, look at her. 🥰

stranger things asks

[risu5waffles]

Ope. Another (ten) Shrimps on Barbie

Did you know the flamebreathing bartender Cenobite from Hellraiser III: Hell on Earth was also named Barbie? Probably not, 'cause that guy suuuucked. Not as bad as that goof-ass camerahead guy, but still.

Anyhoot.

Oh my gods. The tile card says LBP3, and this is totally an LBP2 level. Now i need to crawl in my hole of shame. This one was pretty fine, and i had a good enough time wiv it. i kind of feel like the environment looks a bit better the less of the background is shown. It's a touch too empty to be used as more than an accent point, at least the area of it that this level uses. Those winchy grab pads were pretty cool though. They get a little wonky at times, but, if i'm being honest, i never got them to work quite right myself either, so i feel bad docking points. All in all, not exactly a standout level, but a nice one to go through all the same.

This one was a lot of fun, and it picked up a team pick pretty shortly after publish, which it deserved, but, like, Sumo could have waited a day or so so my video would have come out first, you know? i really like the Seaside Surprise pack, it's got a whole chunk of good materials and decorations, even if i'm not the biggest fan of the music. Also it's a totally original (as in unlicensed) thing, so no worries about it getting delisted as long as the game itself is still up. Would i be happier if we didn't have to buy building materials? Sure would; but i recognize even wiv an unrushed game, there's no way a dev could get everything in there, and at least the kits have been robust, largely sparing (as opposed to the costumes. Too damned many of those), and fairly cheap. i want to give a special shoutout to AlphabetGoo for trying to implement the old Super Mario World flip to the backside of the fencing. That was actually kind of nostalgic. They didn't pull it off perfect, since it'd be really difficult to get the fence itself to rotate (you could do it wiv a decoration rotator, having the actual climbable material invisible, but i'm not sure if there's any decoration that approximates the look here. Certainly not one that would blend seamlessly wiv the rest of the set up). This whole level was a good time, and the race was actually fun and pretty well paced.

This one's just super charming. rainrainrain did a great job getting the feel of the tavern sections, and there are a lot of little, neat interactable elements. The circus show at the end comes a bit out of left field, but i'm more than willing to forgive it, because it was (a) fun, and (b) a good continuation of the charming atmosphere of the earlier sections. The tightrope bit was really keen, too! i wish i had cottoned earlier to what the meter meant, tho'; i probably could have gotten an ace on this level otherwise.

We talked about Winterland a few days back. If you missed it, i kindly ask you to get thee to the archives. Typing up ten of these spot reviews takes a little brainpower, and i'll skimp where i can.

A bit of a bittersweet gallery here, the creator saying goodbye to their Japanese friends when the Jside servers got shut down. i saw a fair number of goodbye levels and messages from the Japanese side of the LBP community, but it feels a bit rare to see one to the Jside players, so this was touching. i will never not be salty over how we just got tossed under the bus like that. i had the means (and for a brief window the money) to rebuild on a US account but i don't think that was particularly common among players here, and most of them are just gone from community. i know LBP was never a big seller here (might have helped if you fucking promoted it a little, Sony, you fucking jags), but the community was as dedicated as you'd find outside Japan, and some of the talent was just top notch. i've seldom run into such consistently good music and paint work. Saaa... it's always a good time to say fuck capitalism, but fuck capitalism.

This is a really cool, intricate level wiv lots of mechanical movement, which (doubly so since it's LBP2 played in LBP3) makes for a bit of a wonky experience. i think this play was actually my third or fourth, because mechanisms kept not engaging and it was softlocking the level. i really should have put together an outtakes video to show some of the breaks, but i was running around headless-chicken that weekend, so no dice. Sorry about that.

i wanted to like this one more than i did. It's quite ambitious for an LBP1 level, and a lot of work has gone into environmental shaping and gameplay, but... it just feels so draggy. Part of that, i think is the lighting. The level was just a touch too dark in general, and then you have lights just not working, which is not uncommon in LBP1 levels played in LBP3. But it adds up to taking a more plodding, searching pace when originally it was probably a bit zippier. Also there's that break at the end, and i feel like from the level progress that it was right at the end, where the doors just wouldn't open up. i tell you i was a little steamed after all the effort it took to get there.

i really liked this one. It's a pretty straight-forward race, but aside from one bit, it's fair and it manages to keep its pace throughout. Also it's nice, and bright, and visually easy to parse, even wiv all the bits of decoration in it. Also also, it uses the Blackboard material, and that is honestly one of the best in the game; it just has such a nice look and texture to it.

i was so disappointed by this one. It's not the level or creator's fault; Intangir85 tells us right off the chump that the level needs to be played natively in LBP2, but i figured i'd roll the dice and came up snake eyes. What we got to see, tho', is really really cool. The extra abilities are quite well-implemented considering how much of a pain in the butt it was to get that to work wiv LBP2 tech, and i am always going to be a sucker for clockwork. Do i not have the Clockwork Child tattooed on my shoulder? Yes, yes i do. i probably could have gotten the puzzle at the end if i were a little quicker thinking, but i got there in the end, which is my favourite kind of puzzle. Shame that that's where it chose to break on us. Ah well, that's how it shakes out sometimes.

i really liked this one, even if i was expecting a very different visual style based on the level badge. The look is pretty kludgy, but it's more than made up for by the whole Rube Goldbergian style gameplay. There are a couple of parts that are actually a little tricky, and i felt pretty good getting to the end, even if it does go on for maybe a section longer than it really needed to. Still, this one might be my favourite of the set.

And that's that. Ten more down and another i think eighteen in the pipe i think before my archives backlog runs out? Something like that. i've got my notes, but the lights are off, and the sun's gone down, and it's too dark in my room to check.

Y'all take care of yourselves wherever you are. i know things are rough for a lot of us, and they don't look to be easing up anytime soon, but we just go on, 'cause, i mean, what's the alternative? Don't know about you, but even as depressed as i get (and that's pretty damned depressed), i'm still heavily invested in being alive, and i hope you are too. Love ya. Stay safe.

[themonsterunderthebed]

Ooookay let's go!

Love never dies

The Last Five Years (if you remember any of it)

Moulin Rouge

ALRIGHTY HERE WE GO. i'm not going in order because my thoughts on Love Never Dies will take up a ridiculous amount of this ask so we'll get the others out of the way first

the last five years: if i remember right, that's the one where the guy tells the story of their relationship backwards, and the woman tells it forwards? or the other way around, something like that. very clever premise, i don't remember being particularly wowed by any of the songs. it's a cool musical just not quite my style, though maybe i'll give it another try sometime

moulin rouge: what fun!!! love love love the movie. this ridiculous opulence is what musicals are about, baby. pull out all the fucking stops. i haven't watched a bootleg of the broadway revival but i like most of the soundtrack. i don't think they really needed to update the songs to more modern ones, i would've preferred they stick with the ones from the movie, but i get what they were trying to do and it's not inherently a bad idea. that clip from roxanne started off my strange period of obsession with aaron tveit, so shoutout to that. also has an incredible dance sequence somewhere in there, i forget which song it was (maybe also tango de roxanne?)

Love Never Dies: hooooooo boy time for some fucking Hot Takes. Okay. my feelings on LND are Bad. very very bad. this should not exist. Are we doing my whole rant on this? We might be doing my whole rant on this. Including actual capitalization and punctuation. I should disclaim here that I am doing 0 fact checking for this. We are going based entirely on my spotty memory and vibes.

There are several axioms we have to acknowledge to plumb the depths of my feelings on LND. 1. Frederick Forsyth is not a good author. 2. Phantom of Manhattan was batshit insane from start to finish. It would've killed as a crack fic on FFN that really committed to the bit. Unfortunately, it is not a crack fic on FFN. It is an actual published piece of fiction sold for actual money. Admittedly I haven't read it since I was fourteen or so, and my critical reading skills were not fully developed, but I have no reason to believe that it was written as a parody or satire. To the best of my knowledge, this horrifying dumpster fire mishmash of questionable phandom tropes (e.g., Raoul as an abusive alcoholic to make the Phantom better than him*, lovechild between Christine and the Phantom**), bizarre Phantom whump (fishmonger???? hello???????) and a plotline contrived enough to put 2009 FFN phics to shame was written seriously, and meant to be read as a serious piece of fiction. This is... somewhat distressing, honestly. 3. Tragically, ALW does know how to write really catchy music.

What I remember hearing back when LND was announced was that ALW and Frederick Forsyth are friends, and that's how this came about. I am doing no fact checking for this post so I cannot really confirm or deny this, but it is the best explanation of why on earth PoM was chosen as the base material for a completely unnecessary sequel. Of course the other major published phan work is Phantom by Susan Kay -- this would not be suitable sequel material, but could have given rise to a heartwrenching prequel. Phantom, frankly, doesn't need a sequel. It shouldn't have one. It's a tragedy, it's meant as a tragedy, and alleviating that is firmly the domain of fanworks. I have read countless fix-its and sequels and happy endings - I very much understand the urge! But trying to reverse the tragedy in the canon itself cheapens the story in its entirety. Phantom is a social commentary: what happens to an ugly genius (to what extent can we accept that which is different from us) , and what happens to someone forced to exist outside of society? What is a monster, and how does a person become one? What is the distinction between what we are and what we are made into? And where is the line between what is and isn't forgiveable? We're meant to be left to sit with those questions. Continuing the story instead weakens their impact. 

Of course, it can best be explained as a blatant money grab; we know ALW is not above that. And in that respect, I think it worked. Hooray, more money for ALW. And look - it has been a long time since I listened to any of the LND songs, but I know there are some good ones in there. Devil Take the Hindmost comes to mind as a catchy one. I'm taking a look at the tracklist now, and if I remember right, Till I Hear You Sing and Beneath a Moonless Sky might also have been good. But do any of these songs justify their rotting scaffolding? No! They do not!

The best part of LND is probably the casting. Ramin Karimloo and Sierra Boggess have chemistry out the fucking wazoo. They are fantastic Phantom-Christine pair. And if LND is what it took to get them to play opposite one another - well, I can't say whether or not it makes the whole thing worth it. But it is definitely one of the few bright spots.

TL;DR: LND is a completely unnecessary musical that should never have been brought into existence, based on a dumpster fire of a trash novel. It also had incredible casting and has some really good songs.

*thinking more about that, it probably says a lot that in order to make the Phantom the clear better choice, his rival has to undergo absolute character assassination to make him a caricature of a terrible husband. but I digress

**I think this might be from Kay but I don't fully remember. I don't think it's reasonable to assume from Leroux seeing as getting kissed on the forehead by Christine basically nearly kills Erik dead, though it's certainly a conversation one could have. I especially don't think it's reasonable based on the ALW musical, because -- literally when would this have happened. In the Final Lair scene, we have the lyrics "...am I now to be prey/to your lust for flesh?" "This face which condemns me to wallow in blood/has also denied me the joys of the flesh." It's up to interpretation whether this means the Phantom is a virgin or whether he's physically unable to have sex, but either way we can safely assume he and Christine have not had sex at that point. We see literally every second of the rest of their interactions right there on stage. There is no sex. Now this doesn't exclude the possibility that Christine goes back shortly after, and maybe this is specified in Phantom of Manhattan -- I don't remember. It strikes me as very very silly, though.