#the number of asks I delete is unbelievable

[the-mjolnir-owner]

☀ What’s your rp pet peeve?

The salty af munday meme

People who are only trying to f*ck or get f*cked by Thor. Trust me, that's quite a LOT.

[clowningaroundmars]

good god this samsung customer support IS shit! ppl were definitely not wrong abt that 🤦‍♂️

[fluentmoviequoter]

Poisonously Bad Day

Requested Here! (Thank you so much for my first Tim Bradford req!!)

Pairing: Tim Bradford x fem!reader

Summary: Just before your anniversary with Tim, you receive threatening messages. When someone tries to take your life, you and Tim learn the importance of talking to one another. (Or, Tim's crazy ex stalks you and Tim gets really worried about you.)

Warnings: reader is stalked and threatened, violence with a nail gun, reader has severe food allergies and uses an epi-pen, a little bit of grumpy x sunshine with our favorite grump, angst to fluff & hurt/comfort

Word Count: 4.1k+ words

A/N: I do not have much practice writing for Tim, so I apologize if he's OOC. However, I really love writing for him and trying to capture his amazing character, so I love the practice and appreciate any other requests you send me! I hope you enjoy and please let me know what you think!🤍

Masterlist | Tim Bradford Masterlist | Request Info/Fandom List

Picture from Pinterest

Tim Bradford doesn’t believe in love at first sight. Or he didn’t before he met you. Your sunny personality drew him in, making his world a little brighter. From the moment he met you a few months ago, Tim has been enraptured by you. He’s still grumpy; his personality didn’t change overnight upon meeting you, but your sweet laugh and kind responses to his grumpiness make him happy. His smile isn’t as rare as it once was, but you still fight to see it, bringing as much sunshine as possible.

As your two-month anniversary approaches, you’re happier and giddier than usual. Toning it down as you knock on Tim’s door, you’re surprised to see him already smiling when he invites you in. It seems you’re rubbing off on him, even if he only shows you the softness that lies under the grumpy Tim you know and love. Although your relationship is very new, you haven’t even learned much about Tim’s previous relationships, you know you love him and treasure every moment you spend with your man of honor.

“Hey, you,” Tim mumbles, pulling you into a warm hug. “Missed you.”

“Long day?” you ask, pushing your fingers through his hair.

“Unbelievably. Nolan and Lopez decided to interrogate me about why I was in a ‘good mood’ all day.”

You stifle a laugh at Tim’s air quotes. He rolls his eyes when he sees your bright smile but pulls you into the kitchen anyway.

“I didn’t even know you could smile,” you tease him. “Now I want to know what caused the good mood.”

“I think you know.”

Despite his initial hesitance in getting close to you, Tim obviously knows how to treat you right and make you feel seen, appreciated, beautiful, and loved. Each moment you spend with him makes you a little more curious as to why no one has snatched him up yet. Yes, he’s grumpy, but he’s also just a big teddy bear underneath if you’re willing to dig.

✯✯✯✯✯

Tim usually walks you home after dates, but he gets called into work, so you return alone. There is a small envelope slipped in the space between your door and the jamb, and you decide to open it before going inside.

The simple message reading ‘Back Off’ doesn’t give much information, so you shrug as you unlock the door. It’s probably just some kids messing around or a silly prank that ended up at the wrong house.

As soon as you lock the door behind you, your phone rings.

“Hello,” you greet cheerfully.

The line is silent for a few seconds before it beeps, disconnected from the other end.

“Wrong number,” you hum to yourself as you walk away from the phone.

When it rings again, you don’t answer. Your cell phone rings, a rare picture of Tim smiling (that he will delete as soon as he finds it) lighting up your screen as you race to answer it.

“Hey,” you say.

“I called your house a second ago, are you home yet?”

“Oh, yeah. Sorry, someone called right before with a wrong number, and I thought it was them again.”

Tim hums before telling you he wouldn’t be at work as long as he thought; he just needed to help with some paperwork before a case went to court.

“I can get reservations for next weekend if you’re still okay with my restaurant choice.”

You smile at Tim’s willingness to let you choose before assuring him that you only want to be with him, but you like the food there, too, so it’s a win-win.

After Tim hangs up, you fall asleep, forgetting about the note and the phone call.

✯✯✯✯✯

Someone knocks on your door as you exit your bedroom the following morning. You locate a bathrobe, pulling it over your pajamas before opening the door. Another envelope is on your mat, but no one is in sight.

The message in this one is a bit more concerning. The message, typed in a plain black font, reads: ‘I will KILL you to take him back.’

You consider calling Tim, asking him if he knows of any pranks like this going on in the neighborhood before deciding he’s probably too busy with real police work. Maybe you’re just paranoid.

Your cell phone rings, and you answer quickly, silencing when the only noise on the other end is distorted breathing. After they hang up, your thumb hovers over Tim’s number. 

“Grow up,” you chide yourself before returning to your room to get ready.

✯✯✯✯✯

Throughout the day, more creepy phone calls are made to your cell phone until you finally turn it off. When you meet Tim for lunch, he asks if you got the message he sent you, and you tell him a white lie: too many telemarketers were calling, and you turned it off. He nods, but his gaze is intense like he doesn’t quite believe you.

✯✯✯✯✯

After three days of phone calls with nothing but breathing and more notes about someone killing you to get whoever him is back from you, you’re tired. However, the morning goes by with no calls, and you think maybe whatever it was is finally over. When you walk out to your car, you freeze in the driveway and nearly drop everything you’re holding. 

Someone has slashed your tire and put a large building nail through it to attach a note.

You are next.

Up to this point, you’ve been more agitated than anything, but now you’re scared. Whoever this is has been close to you and knows when you come and go. But, at the same time, it’s just some notes and phone calls, not like you’re in any immediate danger.

Your phone buzzes, and you jump, an incoming text from Tim startling you. You reply to his message quickly, telling him you ran over a nail at some point and won’t be able to meet him for lunch. Seconds after pressing send, he calls you.

“Morning,” you answer, staring at the nail in your tire.

“Are you alright?” he asks, ignoring your nice greeting.

“Yeah, I’m fine. I’m still at home, just noticed the tire.”

“I can come pick you up for lunch,” he offers. “Or come see you.”

“It’s completely out of the way, Tim, no worries. I’ll make up for it tomorrow?”

Tim doesn’t speak for a moment, and you can nearly see the crease on his forehead as he dissects your answers.

“Sure,” he says finally. “Call me if that changes.”

As he ends the call, he rubs his chin and decides to ask you what’s going on next time he sees you. You had been so happy and excited leading up to your anniversary, but it’s like a switch was flipped in you, and now you don’t want to talk to him. He believes you about the tire, but something else is bothering you, and he intends to find out what.

✯✯✯✯✯

Eating lunch at your desk, someone brings you a box from your favorite bakery.

“This was delivered to the front desk,” your coworker says, leaving it with you.

There are no names on it, but Tim is one of very few people who knows how much you like their treats. He also knows that you have severe food allergies, and it is one of the few bakeries in Los Angeles that happily works around them. Smiling at the idea of Tim sending you something after your rough morning, you open the box and take one of the goodies out.

After the third or fourth bite, you realize something is really wrong. As your throat closes, you start to panic as you dig through your bag for your epi-pen. One of the girls at a desk near you sees you and rushes to your aid, pulling your spare epi-pen from the communal snack area and inserting the tip into your leg as she yells for someone else to call 911.

The adrenaline surges into you, clearing your throat as you take a deep breath. Immediately, you know that whoever slashed your tires knows more than where you live and when you leave.

✯✯✯✯✯

The hospital is busy, and people are in and out of your room so frequently that you can barely think straight. You hear someone yell your name, recognizing Tim’s voice anywhere. He appears in the doorway a moment later, wide-eyed as he looks you over.

“I completely forgot I put you as my emergency contact. I’m so sorry,” you apologize lowly.

“What happened?” he asks, his voice softer than it was outside as he nears your side.

“I- I ate something and forgot to check the ingredients. Then I couldn’t find my epi-pen.”

Tim knows you always check the ingredients; your allergies dictate part of your life. If you didn’t make it or order it after inquiring about its ingredients or how it’s made, you don’t eat it. 

“How are you feeling now?” Tim asks, deciding it’s not the best time to press for the truth. His hand lands on your leg, rubbing gentle circles with his thumb.

“I’m okay. My chest is still a little tight but they gave me something for it.”

“Let me call my chief and I’ll take the rest of the day off so I can take you home,” he offers.

“No, don’t do that, Tim. One of my coworkers can give me a ride home so you can go back to work.”

“I don’t think you should be alone.”

“The medicine is working, I just have to give it time and take it easy for a few hours. I promise I will be fine.”

Tim nods, squeezing your hand before kissing your forehead. “If you need anything, call me.”

You nod, watching him go. The feeling of his hand on yours is still there, and you feel terrible for lying to him, but there’s no real evidence that someone is trying to hurt you. Maybe someone was trying to be kind with the treats and didn’t know about your allergies.

Even as you think it, you realize it sounds ridiculous. You’re in danger, and you’re going to have to tell someone eventually.

✯✯✯✯✯

Your coworker drops you off after you insist you can walk to the door alone. Mostly, you don’t want her to see the giant nail in your tire.

Worse, you realize, is the other one. You slow when you see your front door, with a six-inch building nail driven into it. It’s nearly level with your eyes, and a disgusting mix of red and brown paint covers the door below it. A replica of a murder scene, you presume.

Finally understanding that every little thing over the last few days has been a threat, you don’t feel safe alone in your house. Stepping back, you prepare to call Tim.

Before you can, you see a woman standing in your driveway, staring at you with a nail gun and a paintbrush hanging from her hand.

“Who are you?” you ask quietly, swallowing as you try to steady your voice.

“I’m the one that Tim Bradford is supposed to be with,” she answers, slowly moving toward you. “Everyone could see how good we were together. Then you showed up and he changed his mind about me. Whatever you did to get him away from me… I will do so much more to you.”

You step backward as she speaks, fumbling with your keys behind your back. Just as she reaches the front of your porch, you step inside quickly and slam the door, locking it and looking around frantically for something you can use as a weapon. It gets quiet outside, not even a footstep audible as you hold your breath to listen.

A key slides easily into your lock, and you scramble into the kitchen, loosening your grip on your stuff to grab a knife on your way to the bathroom, one of the only doors that lock. The front door closes and locks, her easy footsteps far too familiar with the layout of your home.

Reaching for your phone to call for help, you realize that you dropped your phone to get the knife. You stand in front of the bathtub, terrified as you raise the knife in front of your chest. 

After a moment of silence that seems to last an eternity, the doorknob jiggles. You tighten your grip on the knife handle as she hums. 

A nail shoots through the lock, lodging in the metal mechanisms, and you back up until your calves are pressed to the cool side of the tub. Another nail comes through the door, launching through the hollow wood and lodging into the tile on the wall behind you. You drop your head as the tile shatters, and a third nail follows quickly, her aim much lower as it hooks your pants, pinning you to the porcelain behind you. You rip your leg free, stepping away from the tub and failing to notice the stinging sensation or the blood trickling down your ankle as you climb into the tub, hoping it offers enough protection.

✯✯✯✯✯

Tim clenches his jaw when his third call to you goes unanswered. You promised to keep him updated after the anaphylaxis scare, but it’s been a couple hours since he left you in the hospital, and he hasn't heard a thing.

“Tim, just go,” Angela says, a knowing look on her face. “You won’t be able to focus until you know they’re okay. Unless you’re finally willing to tell me who brought a little sunshine to Timothy Bradford’s cloudy skies,” she taunts at the end.

Tim lets out a soft “hmm,” accepting her offer and gathering his things from the edge of her desk.

“She must be important,” Angela calls behind him, smirking to herself when he doesn’t correct her.

✯✯✯✯✯

Your breaths are loud and shaky even as you focus on controlling them. Several more clicks are heard from the nail gun, and you flinch each time, curling further into the bathtub. A loud screech draws your attention, a second nail dislodging the knob and the lock before the door opens.

You take your chance, hoping to surprise her as you jump toward her, knocking her to the floor and using both hands to point the nail gun away from you. She tries to roll out from under you, squeezing the trigger and firing a nail into the ceiling as she does. A small shower of drywall dust coats the room, but you keep your head down, entirely focused on keeping her at arm’s length.

“When it ends – when you end – I get him back!” she grunts, twisting in your grasp.

The sharper end of the paintbrush she had earlier is pushed into your side, and you gasp, loosening your grip on the nail gun. She raises it quickly as she tilts to the side, dumping you onto the floor and taking the upper hand. A nail is fired beside your head, momentarily deafening you as you flinch away from it.

You are unsure if she said him or Tim, but you think she means the same either way. Tim is the only thing you can think of that someone might want to take back from you.

“Isn’t that his choice?” you ask, pushing her hands away from you as she gets angrier.

She drops the paintbrush before using both hands to push the nail gun toward your forehead. You raise your legs, kicking her forward and over your head. As she topples, she squeezes the trigger multiple times. After the last firing sound, you open your eyes and notice a nail holding your shirt to the floor.

When you hear her groan behind you, you reach over until you feel the metal trash can beside your toilet, raising it over your head and dropping it aimlessly.

✯✯✯✯✯

Tim has dozens of questions he wants to ask, but as he races to your house, they slowly fade into two: are you safe, and how can he make you see that telling him everything will benefit you both? He knows he doesn’t always seem like the best listener and isn’t big on sharing, but he wants to know what is happening in your life, what you’re feeling, and what you’re dealing with. More than that, he wants to be at your side, helping you navigate a life with him.

✯✯✯✯✯

The door opens with a loud bang, causing you to flinch. You attempt to sit up before yelping in pain when something tugs your side. Someone is running through your house, and you’re torn between yelling for help or staying silent in case she wasn’t working alone.

Tim yells your name, and you sigh before answering, “In the bathroom.”

✯✯✯✯✯

When Tim turns into your driveway, blocking the sidewalk as he parks behind your car, he sees the oversized nail protruding from your tire. Walking past it, he knows that wasn’t accidental, nor was the slash below it.

Worried about you and racking his brain over who would do something like that to you, he sees the scene on your door and kicks it open before he even thinks to knock.

✯✯✯✯✯

Tim stops in the hallway, his eyes raking over the nails lining the door and the few stray ones in the wall across the hallway. It appears that most of the attack was aimed at the bathroom, but whatever happened escalated quickly.

Using his shoulder, he forcefully opens the door before entering the small bathroom. He steps over your unconscious assailant, lowering to his knee beside you. Looking over you, he lays a hand on the side of your neck, a warm and welcome comfort as he directs you to look at him.

You try to move closer to him, but he rushes to stop you.

“Don’t. Don’t move. The ambulance and more help are on the way, let’s just wait for them,” he says.

You nod, trusting him but unsure why he won’t let you move.

“Is she…” you ask, trailing off.

“She’s unconscious,” Tim answers concisely. “What’d you hit her with?”

“The trashcan,” you answer, a small smile appearing and making Tim shake his head.

“I should get one of those,” Tim jokes, leaning toward you.

Sirens grow louder as they get closer, and Tim sighs in relief.

“Are you okay?” he asks. “I can’t ask what happened yet, that’s for the next cop. But as your boyfriend, are you okay?”

“I am now,” you answer, raising your hand to lay over his on your jaw.

✯✯✯✯✯

“Do you know who she is?” the officer asks as the EMT sits beside you.

“No,” you answer. “I’ve been getting phone calls and messages for a few days, but I’ve never seen her before.”

“I have,” Tim interjects, shaking his head at you before supplying a name. “My ex.”

“Any idea as to why she attacked you?” the officer asks, glancing toward Tim.

“Sergeant Bradford, I presume. She said she’d kill me to get him back, but never said who him was,” you answer.

Tim nods, lowering his voice to explain something to the officer as the EMT asks questions about how you feel.

You sigh in relief as the paramedics carry Tim’s unconscious ex out, gripping Tim’s hand as he moves to your side again.

“This is going to hurt, I’m sorry,” the kind EMT says.

Tim moves his fingers, letting you squeeze him as much as you need.

“The nail caught some of your skin, but I’m going to try to go fast to minimize the pain.”

Understanding why it hurt to sit up before, you focus on Tim’s hand in yours rather than the hands on your torso, working to free you from the bathroom floor and stop the bleeding.

“All done,” the EMT announces. “You didn’t even flinch. We’ll get you to the hospital and let the doctors check everything.”

You sit up with Tim’s help, leaning against him as a temporary bandage is placed on your side. Looking around your destroyed bathroom, you move closer to Tim, grateful for him.

“Your ex is crazy,” you mumble against his shoulder.

Tim laughs, and it's a short but relieved noise accompanying his arm across your back, keeping you close and comforted.

“We’ll fix the bathroom later,” he promises.

You tilt your head and furrow your brows, prompting Tim to kiss the crease between them. “You’re not coming back here for a few days. Don’t give me that look.”

✯✯✯✯✯

Leaving the hospital, Tim lifts you from the wheelchair, staring at you when you grab his shoulders.

“I can walk, Tim,” you remind him.

He doesn’t listen or doesn’t care, taking the last few steps to the passenger seat and setting you down before buckling your seat belt, mindful of your bandaged side. He carries you into his house, grabbing some of your favorite snacks and drinks before sitting beside you and welcoming you into his arms. He’s quiet, but you’ve grown to understand Tim’s different silences better than most people’s words.

Right now, he’s relieved, but you’re sure he has a lot of questions, too. Getting him to ask them is the hard part.

“Have any other exes I should know about?” you ask after a few minutes.

“Hmm.” He raises his fingers as he nods and shakes his head, a playful ‘debate’ over who is worthy of being mentioned. Lowering his hands and giving you a sincere look, he says, “No, I don’t think so. And I’m sorry I didn’t mention her, I never expected she’d do something like this.”

You nod, though you never considered blaming him for something so completely out of his control. This is all on her, and she’ll have a chance to explain herself.

“Think I’d be a crazy ex?”

“You won’t be an ex at all,” Tim answers, tugging you closer against his chest.

Turning toward him, you trace your finger in small shapes over his chest.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Tim asks gently.

You shrug. “I didn’t know how. And it wasn’t that bad at first.”

“You have to tell me these things or I don’t know something is wrong, I can’t help.”

“But you get grumpy,” you reply with an exaggerated pout.

Tim proves you right, grumbling even as he kisses you. “I’m allowed to be grumpy when someone is hurting the woman I love.”

You sit up quickly, and Tim’s eyes widen, his hands raising to your side as he grows concerned that you hurt yourself.

“You love me?”

Tim shakes his head, rolling his eyes as he mutters, “Against my better judgment, yes.”

You giggle at his grumpiness, leaning back into his side. He pulls your legs across his lap, letting you curl completely into his side. Toying with the hem of his your borrowed sweatpants, Tim lets his mind wander before tracing a gentle finger around the bandage on your ankle.

“Tickles,” you argue when you yank your leg away from him.

Tim pulls your leg back down, pointing out, “I deserve a few tickles after the week you put me through.”

“I was poisoned, and you had a bad week?” you repeat.

“I knew you were lying, you lying liar that lies!”

You duck your head at the reminder of everything you kept from Tim over the last few days. The anniversary you were so excited about now seems tainted.

“Hey,” Tim whispers, drawing your attention. “I’m not mad at you. And whenever you’re ready to talk about it, I’m right here.”

“I don’t even know how she found out about the allergies,” you mumble.

“That’s probably my fault. I have notes and epi-pens everywhere, so if she was close enough to do this to you, she was close enough to find any of my stuff laying around.”

You shiver at the idea of her going through your things, but Tim’s hand rubs down your back and chases those thoughts away.

Taking his invitation, you start at the beginning and tell him about the notes, the phone calls, the bakery box, and how the little, seemingly harmless notes progressed so quickly. He grows grumpier with each word, so you determine you may need to make the ending a bit more interesting for him.

“And then my knight in shining armor showed up and saved the day,” you finish, kissing his cheek. “He’s just a grumpy teddy bear.”

Tim pulls you closer, glad to have your company again. “Tell me things and I’ll be even more of a teddy bear.”

You smile excitedly, so Tim clarifies, “Only for you.”

[justmymindandstuff]

Why do you write a hatecomment?

Why do so many people write hate messages here? Especially in the Hotd fandom. I just do not understand. I just keep asking myself why? Really why? I've been in different fandoms since I am 13/14, and I've never, nerver seen so much hate as in the Hotd fandom. I don't post much here, but I love checking out other blogs. I have a few posts about HotD on my blog, a few reblogs and a few from myself. I have post for both teams on my blog. And I don´t have a big blog, still, the number of hate messages I receive is unbelievable. All anonym, of course.

I always delete this kind of messages straight away but I'm slowly getting tired of them. I do not get it. Fandoms and Tumblr are for fun. It's a series/book for heaven's sake! I don't understand the intention behind it. Do you think a hate comment makes someone think, oh right, I don't like this character (in this case Aegon)? Or do you just want to hurt other people?

I just don't understand the thought process behind it. Never in my life have I thought to myself after reading a post: Time to write mean things to this person. It's one thing to disagree with someone's opinion. I understand. Everyone has different opinions and likes certain characters more and dislikes certain characters. But is that enough to write mean, hurtful and sometimes threatening words? No! It's worrying how quickly and easily people write mean messages. It's anonym, so no harm. Wrong! You are hurting the people you write these messages to! Don't you realize that behind every blog there is a real person with feelings?

My mother always used to say if you don't have anything nice to say then don't say anything.

Why is this so difficult for some people?

So please if you don't like something, keep scrolling, block the tags and stop sending hate messages to strangers on the internet.

I'm sorry for the fuss, but I'm getting really tired. It's just not fun and that's what every fandom should be about.

How do you deal with hate messages? Do you just delete them or reply?

Please just be kind to each other. The world is so full of hate and anger. Why do you have to make it worse? Please let us have our little corner of the internet where everyone can love what they love and don't get any hate for it.

[ggumjjun]

mills i want to hear ur nastiest, dirtiest, roughest, most disrespectfully lewd thoughts about taehyun PLEASE. i know he’s so rough in bed and he’s got the strength to toss his favorite girl around. I NEED HIM UGHHH pls share any hard thoughts at all >.<

oh. so taehyun’s dirty secrets are aired… LOL sorry i got a bit tired to write a full version fic but here’s the hard thought version :< (kinda similar)

taehyun’s dirty secret, the dark desire he keeps locked up in the recesses of the mind, away from the prying eyes until he’s alone in his room, able to allow his imagination wander to the places he often keeps quiet. oh, wonder if they’re pretty… or downright filthy about you~?

taehyun loves feeling in control, a sense of pleasure and assurance derived from pure dominance; sexual and non sexual. to be completely dominant without even a second of hesitation, to claim total possession to the brink of ownership, to have complete faith and trust in him, no matter what. and even deeper, his secret desire to be the one with intelligence, the one who makes decisions without every asking input… a sick pleasure at dumb, stupidity from his darling partner, how it strokes his ego to be so in control of such an unintelligent princess. to never question his decisions but to always ask the dumbest questions, always so unbelievably oblivious but giving into his dominance in all aspects. how he’d like to control your diet, your wardrobe, your entire life to revolve around him, being his most darling pet of total obedience.

taehyun’s deepest desire, is to have a partner who cannot live without him, cannot exist without him for even a second. so be his beautiful, darling pet, who comes at every beckon and is such a pretty doll of a cocksleeve. if he desires you, so it be. spreading your legs open while you’re asleep, cunt always dripping with his cum and arousal, fucking you awake to his total pleasure as you cry and wail into the sheets his name, begging to cum but can’t until he says so, because taehyun knows what’s best for you… and knowing you’ll come undone from the pleasure derived from his free use and dominance… without even having to stimulate your cute clit, crying into a beautiful mess under his control when he spreads your legs further, examining the mess of cum seeping from your cunt, asking if you pleased him with teary, expectant eyes,,, and the pure ego he feels from kissing your forehead and calling you his good girl, so obedient for him, falling asleep because he tells you to in his arms, taehyun knows what’s best, after all.

and taehyun who decides your wardrobe, from the skimpy numbers at home to the more conservative clothes outside, he has unquestioned decisions. so pretty doll of his, act all confused when he throws you on his bed, dress so small and covering near nothing by his choice. never resist when he tightly restrains your wrists together, rub your cute thighs together, unable to hide the arousal staining your panties from his existence. fingers clinging to the sheets, whimpering his name as his hot breath tickles your sensitive thighs, pretty tears welling up when he bites down into the soft flesh… always make eye contact with him, doll. sucking dark marks of possession down your thighs, so dangerously close to your puffy folds, but never quite~ and beg for him like a dumb bimbo, never knowing what’s best for you, only thought in your pretty head of him. eagerly crawling on all fours as he leans against the headboard, ordering you so easily to suck his cock, please him. and taehyun gets off on seeing you so sloppy, so dumb and utterly useless at pleasing him, so messily and desperate as you bob your head without a rhythm, needily sucking on the head of his cock, gagging on his length and swallowing the precum on your tongue. let him teach you better, shouldn’t he~?

sorry :< have to end this one here bc every time i write a paragraph after it deletes immediately ?? tumblr being ridiculous but it won’t let me write more than this ??

[the-lark-ascending69]

I just got an idea for whump Ronance.

What if Robin and Nancy gets captured by Brenner?

Like, they end up becoming his new lab rats. Thry get tortured and abused just like El was.

What do you think?

(Also, what kind of powers do you think they would have respectively?)

Anon I am so sorry i wrote a long asf response to this and then it got deleted and I was so mad I didn't want to do it again but now I feel inspired and motivated to give it another try.

SO. Wonderful concept! I love it! Let me share my thoughts!!

So what I came up with is:

At age 15, they both get lost in the Upside Down. They only vaguely knew about the other's existance from school but when they found each other down there, they became inseparable. This is an AU in which Will never went missing. Anyway they're terrified and starving and exhausted but at least they have each other, and they hold hands almost the entire time because they both desperately need the comfort.

Eventually, they make it out on their own after finding a gate... and it's in the Hawkins Lab. They come out on the other end before the unbelieving eyes of dozens of scientists, who were convinced no one would survive a minute in there without the proper equipment. Yet these trembling, starving young girls covered in grit survived with only the clothes on their back for a week.

Brenner recognizes them immediately - Nancy and Robin, the two girls from the missing person posters circulating through town. Everyone already thinks they're dead. They made fake bodies of them, for Christ' sake, he's not letting this opportunity go, especially after the disappearance of his only remaining test subject, 011.

This will be a new experiment. A different one. They are given different numbers for ir - A01 for Nancy and A02 for Robin. They get that tattooed in their arms. The purpose of the experiment is to study the effects of short-term exposure to the Upside Down on humans of their height, s.ex, age, health status and weight. They call themselves doctors. They give them separate rooms and run a series of tests daily on them. They try to be subtle at first as to not scare them too much - they don't want another 011 - so they call them by their real names for a while. They ask questions about their lives before the Upside Down and reassure them this is meant to test radiation levels - a standard procedure, before they can return them to their parents.

They immediatelly call bullshit. Why can't they talk to their parents now? Why can't they see them through a glass, at least, or a camera, if radiation is what they're worried about? Why won't they tell them what that place was or why it led back to the Lab? Do their families know they're safe? What is going on? They ask so many questions about every procedure ran on them, resisting in more and more extreme ways until the scientists need to tie them down and drug them whenever they want to do anything.

Brenner notices similar brain activity in them to that of his old test subjects, and he suspects the Upside Down might have given them some kind of ability. He keeps them in the rainbow room, hoping each other's company will help them develop their powers, yet for a long time nothing comes. They can't move objects with their mind, or astral project, or open gates. Even despite everything they do to them. Despite every horrible procedure they perform on them. Drugs of all kinds, leaving them delirious and weak for days. Electrocompulsive therapy. Hypnosis. Pain tests. Sensory deprivation. Solitary confinement. Brenner wants to activate their powers in one way or another, desperate after losing subject 011.

(It's terrifying each time. Nancy is invaded by pure rage while Robin is paralyzed by fear. Whenever they take one for a procedure, the other waits impatiently for her return, fully concious of what they're doing to her - or so it seems. Nancy, at least, thinks she knows what they're doing to Robin. She thinks they do the same things they do to her - tie her to a chair, put an IV in her, maybe, or stick a needle into her neck. Brenner will do this while casually telling her she'll only feel a small pinch, before doing such a monstruosity to her that she'll be woken up by seizures at night. It takes Robin some time to tell Nancy the truth).

They seem completely useless for a long time, but that changes the moment they capture a russian agent.

He was a scientist, working from an unknown location beneath Hawkins, trying to get intel from the Lab when he was caught and tortured to extract information from him. Robin wasn't usually allowed to wander the halls alone, but someone left the door unlocked and she was curious, and soon she found herself in front of a closed door, hearing panting and ragged breathing after this man received the beating of his life. He was talking to himself - curses and meanderings about death and whether or not he'd see his family again. Robin, despite having never learned Russian, understood everything, and in a perfect accent she began to talk to him. She didn't know why - she didn't even realize they weren't speaking English. For a moment he thought he was being rescued, and he shared with her a lot of information.

Brenner caught her in the act and severaly punished her. Solitary confinement for one week. She would only see other people when they ran tests on her, and even then they wouldn't speak to her at all. He ended up not living up to his threat when, not two days after the event, he noticed her brain activity going wild. He has fascinated, and he asked her what had happened, if that russian spy gave her something like a drug. "Russian?" she asks, only then understanding what had happened.

They believe her powers are related to xenoglossy, the supernatural ability to know a language without having ever learned it. Something extremely useful in that specific historical context. She'd be an incredible spy, and oh, Brenner can't wait to experiment with this. They kill the spy after she tells them everything he told her.

They begin to give her a special treatment over Nancy - not exactly for the better. Brenner wants to understand this new ability, developed not in the womb like in other subjects but when subject A02 is a teenager, possibly caused by exposure to Upside Down radiation, though that's not confirmed. Maybe it had more to do with their experiments. He thinks he hit a dead end when it's revealed Robin already knew intermediate-to-advanced French, Spanish and Italian from before being captured - she'd be just a regular poltglot in that case, a prodigious one, right, but with nothing of interest for Brenner. But he quickly realizes this is not the case. Robin didn't know a word of Russian before, and he develops a hipothesis he'll spend the following year testing. He tries her ability with different languages, escaling on rarity, complexity and distance from English. From reading a single short text, Robin becomes profient in Finnish - a non-indoeuropean language Brenner doubts she's ever had any contact with. Proficient, but not fluent. It seems like she can very easily extract a language's grammar from a short sample text, applying it to terms she's familiar with, but she can't magically "guess" vocabulary of grammatical rules not present in the material she was given. For example, by reading a text in which all 15-16 grammatical cases of Finnish are present, she will be able to apply them to any noun in nominative case she knows, but she can't do it with nouns she doesn't know, and she can't use grammatical cases not present in the sample text given to her. She also can't guess spelling or pronunciation without both text and audio samples, and she can't speak in accents she hasn't heard (though she can easily switch accents in a way native speakers of the language can't, a skill that is curiously not translated (lol) into her native English). She learns faster with audio than with text, but even faster with a real-time conversation. Brenner brings a colleague who is fluent in Japanese to test her and he's amazed by how quick her progress is. His hipothesis, seemingly now proven, was that hers was an entirely mental skill, not a supernatural one, since she doesn't magically have access to languages she never had any contact with. This would make her ability not real xenoglossy.

A few more fun facts about her "power":

Her pre-existing skill with Spanish, French and Italian didn't improve until she was exposed to these languages again after being captured. She becomes incredibly skilled at solving puzzles and cracking codes. Brenner believes her power developed thanks to her intensive studies in languages through her childhood. Her brain activity is similar to that of non-native speakers of a language during the few first minutes of having contact with a new language, but in less than an hour, it will be the same as with native speakers. She's confused by some reconstructed languages, but not others (Proto-Indoeuropean was easy for her to learn, Proto-Uralic took her some time before learning more finno-ugric languages than just Finnish. If this were happening in the 2000s, when the Dené-Caucasian theory was already formalized, then Proto-Dené-Caucasian would have sounded like absolute gibberish to her).Some of Brenner's colleages hipothesize that her knowledge of living languages help inform her of the grammar and syntax of proto-languages in an extremely accurate way, to the point she subconciously knows when a reconstruction is wrong. This would make her an amazing paleolinguist. Brenner is less interested in the reconstruction of ancient turkic languages in Siberia and more interested her use as a spy and code-breaker - though it wouldn't have hurt him to take a second look at the idea of turkic languages, because that Russian agent, he was from a region of Russia called Tartary, and he spoke another language aside from Russian, the Tartar language, though he never got to speak it in Robin's presence. Brenner and his colleagues, not familiar with the vast diversity of languages on Earth, spend a long time working with an incorrect hypothesis because they couldn't notice Robin speaking Tartar to herself as a distinct language from all the others they were teaching her. A year and a a half passes before someone spent enough time listening to her to notice the difference. It's a discovery that shatters completely Brenner's first hypothesis on the absence of a supernatural element in Robin's ablity, and he's once again fascinated when he discovers it. His new hypothesis: Robin's power grants her access to a person's mind through speaking to them in a strange, confusing way, and he can't wait to destroy her, pick her brain apart and figure out how it works even if he kills her in the process.

In fact, he does. Literally. He does it over and over and over again, and Nancy has to watch it happen time and time again.

Because here's the thing: Robin wasn't the only one to develop powers, and in fact, she wasn't even the first one.

If you've heard of the videogame Life is Strange, anon, then you'll understand Nancy's power here: she can rewind time. Her power is pretty much the same as Max's in LiS - she can rewind time up to a certain point, though it causes a great mental strain, and eventually, she will discover she can time travel to specific points in time through photographs she's present in, as her younger self.

She discovers her powers the first time Robin is killed.

Misbehavior got her punished - solitary confinement after a long testing session. She had an overdose in her cell, and no one noticed in time. Nancy barely remembers what happened then, other than the horror she felt, before the events of the day flashed backwards before her eyes and she was brought back to Robin - warm, alive, breathing - in the rainbow room.

She begged her to do as they said, to behave, to not fight back. Robin is confused but Nancy is in tears and she agrees to do as she says.

This time, when she has an overdose, they treat her on time. She was in a comma for a week, but soon she was back on her feet and back in Nancy's arms.

It keeps happening - over and over again. The time she swallowed her own tongue during a seizure because Nancy didn't hold her right, and she had to try over four times (and watch her choke and die four times) before she got it right. The time she didn't die - but she lost her ability to speak after hours of electroculpulsive therapy, and she had her fake an illness so they would submit her to less aggressive procedures. It happened again when, after a similar trial, she forgot her own parents and thought the scientists were her parents. But she mostly just died. Over, and over, and over again. Mostly from overdose or brain damage during seizures, but one time, she was purposely asphixiated during a test. To this point Nancy still isn't sure what was it that they wanted to test with that. She suspects it was just torture for the sake of torture. To break her, somehow.

Nancy is terrified of long-term effects of all of this on Robin's health. She's scared the damage will cross the point of no return too early, to a point she can't go back to, a point in which she can't stop it. She can hold Robin's head during a seizure but she can't stop the seizures, and the lasting damage they leave.

Robin is aware of Nancy's powers. Nancy didn't even have to prove them to her - she believed her immediately whe she told her, and she trusts her judgment completely. If Nancy tells her it's better to do X, you can bet Robin will be doing X. Robin doesn't tell Nancy about her newfound ability immediately - she doesn't want her to worry about something she can do nothing about. But she does share it with her, after some time. She felt the need to explain to Nancy why the sudden interest on her. Nancy worries about her Robin so much, so so much, because she's just become Brenner's favorite new toy, and he'll do anything and everything to exploit her. She's in much more danger than Nancy is, and Nancy wishes she could take her place, make herself into Brenner's toy, draw attention away from Robin, but they both know the best they can do for their safety is to keep Nancy's invisible power secret. Nancy hates herself for not being able to take Robin's pain for her.

They escape one day. It's a complicated plan including short-distance time travel, manipulating russian spies through a stolen radio, several forms of treason and going out the same way they came in - through the portal. Nancy does her best to keep them safe with her power as they search for the other gate, the one they first crossed three years ago. And then, they're out. They're found unconcious on the side of the road.

They wake up a few days later in the hospital, surrounded by their families. Nancy's brother, Mike, has a new friend - a quiet girl with long brown hair and a 011 tattoed on her wrist, and she knows she needs to speak to her desperately, but she's exhausted, so for the time being, she'll sleep for some time, feeling almost at peace now, knowing Robin is safe and in the good hands of doctors.

[obetrolncocktails]

Deception | Josh Kiszka X Reader | Part 4

Warnings: angst, stalking, embarrassment, miscommunication, depression, JOSH SOBBING IN HIS MOM'S ARMS, some suspicious shit, broken off engagement, foreshadowing.

Word Count: 6,243

A/N: Hey guys! It's been a while, but it's here! Prepare for your hearts to be broken and broken some more. Josh is pitiful in this chapter, and I just wanna hug him and tell him it's gonna be okay. Also, there's an OC in this fic (Hailey), who has no relation to anyone in real life, I just needed a mechanism for something....I won't give too much of it away.

Summary: They say it's not the bomb that has the lasting effect, it's the fallout. You'd shattered each other into millions of pieces, so where do you go from here? What's left to save in the wake of explosion?

“He’ll come to his senses, I know it,” Hailey, Sam’s girlfriend assured you, forking through her salad. Her demeanor was nonchalant, but her words filled you with relief, even if it was through false hope. 

“I hope so. He has every right to be hurt for what I did,” you began, leaning against the park bench, squinting your eyes as you looked into the trees above. “I lied. I didn’t tell him that I knew who he was before–before everything.” You pulled your hands up in the air in front of you, frustrated with the truth of the situation. You had spent the last half-hour explaining the very thing that had torpedoed your relationship with Josh. 

“So, you didn’t lie,” she said, chewing a large bite with her hand covering her mouth. “You just withheld information.” She shrugged, batting away a fly. You couldn’t stop thinking about how nice it would be to be able to dismiss the severity of the situation like she did. Then again, she wasn’t the perpetrator. You were. 

“Everything was just so great,” you reasoned, sighing deeply. “We were in love, we had sex for the first time.” You covered your face from the dismay and groaned into your palms. “I love him so much, and I’ve fucked it all up.”

“Just by keeping some things to yourself?” She asked, her eyebrows raised. You watched her crack open a bottle of juice. “I don’t think Josh could possibly hate you for that. Hurt? I get it, but not hate.” She shook her head for emphasis as she tilted her head back for a sip. “How did he even find out? Did you tell him in that letter? Cuz, wow. Bad timing on your part,” she said, offering a cringing expression, gritting her teeth together. 

“No, I was waiting to tell him after his birthday. I wanted him to have a great time at the party.” You realized that the beds of your nails had begun to bleed from picking at them. You rolled your hands into fists and continued. “This is so embarrassing, and unbelievable,” You began. 

“What do you mean?” She asked, turning toward you, obviously more enthused and interested than before. You didn’t make eye contact with her as you stared forward, watching as a squirrel turned to look at you before skittering away with a captured acorn. Here’s where you’d have to admit that you’d had-have a stalker. 

“Someone knew about all of it. Knew about my account. Knew that I was a fan of the boys before I ever met them,” you started, your voice thin from painful guilt and from the feeling of being violated. “Even knew that I…” you trailed off, ashamed of yourself. “That I wrote smut about them.” She nodded silently for a long moment. “That I had a following on social media–a fan account.”

“Wow,” she said finally. “That is a lot. How did anyone find out?” She asked, putting her curly hair into a loose bun. 

“I don’t know. I privated the account when I met Josh. I should have just fucking deleted it,” you admitted exasperatedly. 

“But you didn’t,” She continued. You shook your head no. 

“Nope,” you answered, staring ahead. “They stole my password, changed the authentication phone number–everything. They stalked me for an entire month and a half, threatened me, followed me, took pictures of me, and destroyed my life. I have no idea who they are, or what they want. I haven’t gotten another text, so maybe they’re happy now. They got what they wanted.”

You had left your entire lunch unattended at your side, and, glancing down, you noticed an orderly line of black ants assembling up and into the salad container. Good for them, you thought. Absolutely nothing in your body had a desire to eat, anyway. “Have you heard from Josh?” She asked after a deep sigh. “He’s been off the radar since the party.”

“No, and I don’t expect to hear from him any time soon,” you said with a shrug, a gesture that felt as if you’d been holding the weight of the world on your shoulders. “I understand.”

“You don’t feel the need to defend yourself?” She asked, her expression changing to that of confusion. 

“It’s not worth it to argue my position and lose him forever,” you decided. “I thought about writing him a letter and leaving it in his mailbox,” you shrugged again. “But I don’t know if he’d read it.”

“I think he would,” Hailey argued. “Josh loves you, Y/n. It would surprise me if he just thought that you were some traitor or something this entire time. You can’t fake love.”

You took a deep breath. “I guess we’ll see what happens. Maybe he’ll just ignore me for the rest of my life, and I’ll just move to a remote island that’s far off the grid.” Hailey snorted. 

“I don’t think you’d survive very long,” She grinned before standing up and grabbing her trash. “You didn’t even finish your lunch,” she said, turning to watch the insects feast on your salad. “Ready to grab Jita? I can’t imagine they’re still doing her hair,” she said, rolling her arm in front of her to glance at her apple watch. You nodded, taking the first step forward, tossing your uneaten meal in the nearest trash can. 

***

“I don’t know what to tell you, Jake. Do the rehearsal without me,” Josh said exasperatedly, rifling through his closet to fill a duffel bag. “I don’t really give a shit.”

“Hey man, you don’t get to speak to me like that. You signed on to be part of this band. It is your responsibility to be there. It’s on the damn contract!” Jake raised his voice slightly, but what was more intimidating was the rasp that had grown with his rising temper. “You don’t get to run away.”

“Watch me,” He seethed matter-of-factly, elbowing past his brother. Jake stood there for a long moment debating his next move.

“Can you at least tell me where you’re going? So I know you’re safe…” Jake began, stepping out of his brother’s bedroom and into the living room where Josh stood, zipping up the large bag. 

With a deep sigh he finally answered. “I’m going home. Okay?” He said, looking up at Jake. Though Josh seemed to be acting out of intense anger, Jake could see within his brother’s gaze that it was a safety mechanism. It was easier for him to be angry than it was to process how deeply hurt he was. He’d remain closed off for now, and everyone would have to be okay with that. The best path forward would be to give him the space he needed. 

“Okay,” Jake agreed calmly, nodding his head once as he placed his arms across his chest. “Please travel safely,” he insisted. 

“By the time I get back, have Y/n moved out,” Josh ordered, disregarding his brother’s concern. His eyes were blank and absent of feeling as he uttered your name. 

“Come on, Josh,” Jake attempted. “You’re not even going to speak to her?”

“She knows exactly what she did to me,” he said, hiking the bag on his shoulder. “She can go live with one of her fucked up friends.”

“Who?” Jake asked, confused. 

“I don’t know, maybe one of the thousand that write fucked up stories about us.” Josh’s eyes were wide and wild, and it almost scared Jake. 

“You’re hurt–”

“I’m not hurt,” Josh stopped his brother. “I’m fine. Really. I feel stupid. This whole thing. It’s all a fucking joke.” 

“She loves you, Josh. You can’t just throw your entire relationship away–tell me how that makes any sense.”

“I know you think you’re being helpful, Jake, but I don’t want to hear it. I have a flight to catch. I’ll text you when I land.” With that, he was up and walking out of the door. Jake followed his brother out of the house. “And I meant what I said about her moving out,” he finished, before closing and locking the door behind him. 

“Okay,” Jake swallowed, regretting that he had to be the one to relay such painful information back to you. “You sure you don’t need a ride to the airport?” Jake offered. “I could spare the half-hour.” Josh shook his head. 

“No. I love you, but I’m fine. I want to be alone.” With that, Jake left his brother to back out of his own driveway toward the airport, following him until he had to make the turn toward his own house. 

***

Danny’s house was beautiful, but it didn’t feel like home. You no longer had your own apartment, your parents lived hundreds of miles away, and couch-surfing with friends would only be a viable option for a few more days. You knew that while you were at his house, you wouldn’t be a bother to Danny. You had missed several days of work already, and had stayed to yourself in his spare bedroom until the growling in your stomach became so severe, you were forced to pull yourself from your depression hole of a bed. 

 You heard your phone ping from beside you, and you reached for it. It was Hailey. 

“Hey babe, what are you doing today?”

 You had half a mind to respond,“Oh, you know, loving life,” but you refrained, instead typing “I have nothing planned. I’ve been laying in bed all morning. Please save me from my own depression pit.”

With the motivation of possibly getting out of the house, you stumbled to the bathroom and looked at yourself in the mirror, and instantly regretted it. You were surprised that it didn’t crack just by the sight of you. Your hair had never looked worse, and your eyes were extremely puffy. Your cheeks had begun to break out from the stress of the last week. Sighing deeply, you forced yourself to take a shower, cranking on the faucet of the and waiting for the water to heat up. 

You weren’t sure how long you spent in the shower, but it was long enough for the searingly-hot water supply to turn ice cold, forcibly removing you from underneath it. 

“Y/n!” Danny called from downstairs. “I’m making some lunch, want something?” 

You cracked open the bathroom door and shouted back down to him. 

“Sure, anything you make is great!” 

“Cool, cool!” He responded casually. 

You stepped out of the bathroom, taking care to not slip as you dripped water onto the hardwood floor. You cursed yourself for not being patient and drying off adequately. 

“I figured we could go shopping, or do something to get your mind off things,” Hailey had texted back. 

You began to compose a message back to her. “Yeah, I think some shopping and walking around would help. Maybe we could talk about some things. Not sure who I can really turn to right now, you know? I don’t want to involve the boys, specifically Danny, more than he’s already involved. Josh is already pissed at him.”

“Just us! Don’t worry. We’ll make it a you and me day,” She texted, finishing with a heart emoji. 

“Meet at Danny’s in half an hour?” You asked, and she instantly answered back. 

“Sounds great!”

You tossed your phone onto the bed and heard it thump into the covers. You hadn’t spent much time with Hailey alone since she and Sam had started dating. Usually she would hang out with her local friends, and occasionally you and Jita would tag along with Hailey and you’d do something together. The lunch you had shared in the park the other day had felt kind of strange, but at the same time it was relieving to vent to someone who wasn’t directly in communication to Josh. Hailey was very responsive with everything you had to say, and for the most part, she didn’t seem to be judgmental, which surprised you. Something about her always made you feel a bit uneasy about getting too close. Now that you had chosen to lean on her for support, maybe she’d be just what you needed.

After getting dressed and brushing your resisting tresses into a ponytail, you grabbed your phone again, absently scrolling through tiktok, your heart thudding in your chest when a fan-made tiktok of Josh appeared on your FYP. You sighed deeply, and threw your phone back down on the bed, but decided after a long moment to pick it back up. You hadn’t tried to reach out to Josh in the last few days. His broken expression at the party had terrified you, broken your heart, and left you paralyzed to even know how to begin to explain the whole truth to him. Opening a new message to him, which you hoped would be delivered– God willing he hadn’t blocked your number. You took the gamble anyway and began a message. 

“I know you don’t want to talk, or really have anything to do with me, but I need you to know that I do love you, Josh. I love you with everything I have. Every bone in my body, every breath I take–is for you. You found out something I had kept from you for a while, but I intended to tell you. I wanted to tell you, until someone stole that from me. I’ve been stalked by someone for more than a month, and they threatened me over and over again. They had photos of me–” You deleted the last phrase for fear of going on too long. 

“Please don’t end things like this–this silence is not like you. Even if you’re angry, and hurt, which I know you are. Please talk to me. Please. I have made mistakes, but the one mistake I didn’t make was falling in love with you.”  You hit send. You felt as if someone had dropped the weight of the world back on your shoulders, and there was nothing you could do about it. So, for now you’d pretend to be okay. You walked downstairs and began to prepare for the day, shoving down the despair for a little while longer. 

***

Delivered. 

Josh had turned off read receipts to all of his usual contacts. He didn’t want to talk or entertain them. He simply wanted to disappear. As soon as his flight landed, he pulled his duffle bag off of the plane and retrieved a rental car, putting it into drive and almost immediately getting back on the road. Within an hour, he had pulled into the familiar town, passing the buildings and businesses that he had frequented his entire childhood and adolescence. He wanted to bring you here. He wanted to bring you back to his hometown, and show you everything that had made him into the person he had become. Now, all of those wants were thrown into the air with so much confusion, hurt and anger, that he had no idea what to do with it all. He finished the rest of the drive by forcing himself to tune out the sentimental thoughts that pried at him, the beautiful Michigan scenery rushing by without another thought. Occasionally through the drive, he swiped away the tears that betrayed his shredding composure. He knew this route by memory, having memorized every turn, every redlight and passing sign. And there it was.

As he approached the house, it took everything in him to not fall apart in the front yard. Stepping out of his car, he reached in and grabbed his bag and trudged up the stairs to the entrance of his childhood home, ringing the doorbell, which felt incredibly strange in the moment. Within seconds, Karen opened the door, her eyes wide as she discovered her son on the front steps, his eyes welling with tears. 

“Josh? Honey…”

“Mama–” Was all he could say before letting go. His mother was the one person in the entire world that he couldn’t, and wouldn’t lie to. No matter how hard he had tried, he couldn’t hide how utterly destroyed he was. 

“Oh, baby,” she comforted, pulling her arms around her son as he sobbed over her shoulder, his embrace so desperate and tight–as if he clung to her as hard as he could, he’d wake from whatever terrible dream he was having. His sobs ran loud and free for the first time since his birthday party, and Karen stood there with him in the heavy silence, holding him, her hands rubbing long lines up and down his back in a soothing pattern. 

“It’s okay, baby. You’re home,” She murmured softly, kissing his head over and over, rocking him back and forth in the afternoon sun. They stood there for a long time, Josh’s sobs slowing over time into choked sniffles. When they finally parted, Josh’s face had grown intensely swollen, his eyes exceptionally puffy, and his face reddened with exertion. 

“Come inside,” Karen said after another moment. 

“What’s going on?” Kelly asked, spinning around in the recliner in the living room. “Josh?” He asked, standing up and walking into the kitchen. 

“Hey Dad,” Josh offered with a tearful smile, wrapping his arms around his father, who returned the hug firmly, patting his son’s back. 

“I’m sorry about your girl–about everything, you know,” he said, attempting conversation, as much as Josh would allow. Josh offered a simple nod in response. 

“Did you come by yourself?” He asked, his eyes glancing at the front door. 

“I wanted to come alone,” Josh said, taking a deep breath and letting it out. “I really just needed to be away from everything. Out of Nashville.” Josh wiped the wetness of his tears from his face on his pants and continued. “I just–” He shrugged, unable to explain further. 

“Don’t worry, baby,” Karen comforted him. “You know you’re always welcome to come home. We miss you when you’re gone, you know.” She took Josh’s hand, rubbing her thumb over the tops of his knuckles. 

“I made soup for dinner,” She mentioned, turning over her shoulder toward the kitchen. “It’s in the crockpot. Let me make you a bowl,” She insisted. 

“I’m fine, Mom,” Josh assured her.

“No. You’re going to eat. You don’t eat when you’re upset. I’m your mom, and I know you well. Eat this bowl, and I won’t bother you again tonight about it. Can you do that for me?” She asked, eyeing him sternly. Even in his fragile state, she still parented him like she always had, and in a way, though Josh would never admit it, it made him feel the tiniest bit better. 

“Yes, Mama.” 

“Can you put ice in glasses?” She asked as she ladled portions into bowls. He did as he was told, bringing out the glasses and filling them with ice.

“We’ll just eat in the living room,” she explained. “No need to set the table.” 

Being home quieted the hurt for a little while. His mom and dad loved him more than anything in the world, aside from his brothers and sister, and they did a good job showing it. 

“Your sister was here earlier. She’s visiting for a few days before heading back out to LA,” Kelly explained, spooning food into his mouth. “She’s doing the whole fashion thing,” he continued. It had been a long time since Josh had seen Ronnie, and though he was in pathetic shape tonight, he’d most definitely want to see her before he left for Nashville. 

The rest of the night was quiet, and Josh spent the evening curled into his mother, watching a movie as she mindlessly combed her fingers through his hair. After a while, he fell asleep, calmed into slumber by her nurturing spirit. 

“Josh, honey,” she said after a while, stretching through a yawn. “I’m going to head to bed,” she mentioned, rubbing his back to rouse him from sleep. 

“Hm?” he asked groggily, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. “Oh,” he responded, looking around into the dimly-lit living room, deciding that he, too, was far too tired to stay awake any longer. 

“Me too, mama,” he agreed softly, standing up and stretching his limbs with a low groan. 

“Dad put sheets on your bed,” she told him, standing up and reaching for the remote to turn off the TV. “I’ll see you in the morning, sweetie. Thanks for coming home,” she smiled softly, stepping over to give her son a long, firm hug. “I love you so much,” she spoke. “And I’m sorry you’re hurting, honey.”

Josh squeezed his mother tightly, laying his head on her shoulder as she spoke. “I missed you, Mama,” he admitted, feeling emotion cause his throat to ache from the possibility of crying again. He cleared his throat and began once more. “I love you so much.” 

“I love you too, baby. Get some sleep,” she said, planting a soft kiss on his cheek before stepping down the hall to her bedroom. 

In his childhood bed, Josh fell asleep almost instantly, suspended within the most restful sleep he’d had since the birthday party. Between the crickets chirping and the whir of his ceiling fan, he let his thoughts wander into a mindless drone of noise.

***

“Knock knock.” Josh’s eyes cracked open, squinting from the light cutting through the curtains into the bedroom. 

“Mom said you still weren’t up.” Josh felt the mattress sink towards his feet and turned to see his sister sitting cross legged at the end of the bed. 

Josh groaned, gazing at Ronnie, waiting for his eyes to adjust to a new day. “No peace,” he said softly and grumbly. “I get no peace anywhere.”

Ronnie moved to plop on top of Josh, chuckling when he groaned even more. “Get up!” She pushed, jostling him by the shoulder. “Mom told me what happened, and it’s my job to get you out of the house.”

“Let me mope in peace,” he grunted, reaching for the closest pillow, pulling it over his face. 

“Nope,” she insisted, stepping off of the bed to pull her brother by the arm. “Come on,” she grunted from the resistance that Josh’s weight posed. 

“Fine, fine! Ow!” He complained, stumbling out of his sheets. “Are you happy now?” He asked, scratching his head sleepily. 

“Very. Wake up and get ready,” Ronnie told Josh. “We’re going on a hike. You can’t say no.”

“No.” He said, leaning toward his sister, speaking just beyond the curve of her ear. 

“Ugh, you’ve got morning breath,” she said, scrunching up her face. To Josh’s amusement, he made a point to huff a deep puff of air into her face, chuckling when she swiped at the air with disgust. 

“You’re going, even if I have to drag you,” she said, stepping into the kitchen where Karen stood, cooking breakfast. 

“Going where?” she asked, turning over her shoulder as she worked on a batch of scrambled eggs. 

“I’m making him go hiking with me,” Ronnie announced matter-of-factly, a casual smile spread across her face as she shrugged. She walked over to the barstools at the island, and Josh followed, plopping down beside her. “Do I have permission to drag him out of the house?” She asked, echoing her warning to Josh. 

“Only if he doesn’t come back whining to me about it,” Karen said, grinning. “Josh, you should go. It will be good for you to get out of the house,” she said. “How do you want your eggs?” She asked, turning back to the pan. 

“Fried over medium. I’ll just make a sandwich if you’ll make the eggs,” he said, getting up to place two pieces of bread in the toaster. “Where are we even going?” He asked, turning to his sister. “There aren't really any places to hike,” he argued.

“Okay, we will be walking, but still,” Ronnie said, reaching for her plate as Karen handed it over the counter. 

Josh stepped behind his mother, reaching into the fridge for a bottle of orange juice. “Okay,” he agreed, taking a swig out of the container. 

“Joshua!” Karen scolded, turning and attempting to swat him with the now-cold spatula. Josh dodged his mother with a grin and a chuckle, plopping down in his seat beside his sister. 

***

“It’s been forever since I’ve been down here,” Josh admitted, looking out beyond the trail, watching birds stir from the comfort of their languid, sleepy pond, batting their wings and taking the air, flying high up into the sky, disappearing behind the alpine trees. “Probably since high school,” he said after a moment. 

“It’s been a long time for me too,” Ronnie admitted. The trail was only a mile from their house. Growing up, the kids had taken turns throughout the years of finding refuge in nature, taking the time to think and work through anything that may have been troubling them. Now, when Josh wouldn’t have thought twice to come back to this place, Ronnie had quite literally dragged him back to his roots, reminding him of the quaint protection that this area had served all those years ago. 

They were quiet as they walked together side by side, Josh kicking a worse-for-wear pinecone down the paved walkway. The asphalt was littered with a thin layer of pine straw, disguising the man-made trail underneath it. “So,” Ronnie began. 

He looked at her without a word, waiting for what she was going to say next. “You’re really not yourself right now,” she finally said, sighing. “Tell me what happened. Please.”

“There’s nothing really to tell,” Josh shrugged. Ronnie rejected his poor explanation instantly. 

“That’s not true in the slightest. You come home barely once a year these days,” she explained, stopping on the trail to turn to him with her hands on her hips. “If you’re here, I know it has to be bad,” she continued. “So tell me what happened.” 

It took much coaxing, but after a while, Josh began to open up, beginning somewhere in the beginning of the relationship. “Everything about her just makes sense–or made sense. She was so special. She understood me. She’s patient, funny, beautiful–” Josh continued, struggling to keep his tenses consistent, caught within the uncertainty of the current standing of his relationship. Ronnie nodded, arriving at the first bench, and sat down. Josh joined her and continued. “Since the beginning, we couldn’t get enough of each other, and it wasn’t like infatuation or anything like that,” he said, pulling off his Kavu hat to tangle his fingers into his unkempt curls. “She just knew me. She got me. I’d never ever had that before,” he said, his eyes cast down as he picked at the seam of his shorts. “Not in the way that left me thinking about her every single night. She’s my best friend.” Ronnie could hear the hurt in Josh’s voice, how the last words had crackled as they came out. 

“And what happened for that to change?” She pushed. 

“I don’t know how to explain–it’s so weird, I can’t–”

“Tell me one thing at a time,” she said softly, crossing her legs under her as she adjusted in her seat. “Take your time.”

“At my party, she handed me a card,” he said, his eyebrows furrowing as he remembered. “And she was smiling and so happy–I thought it was a birthday card.” his hands lifted in front of him, before dropping to his lap defeatedly. 

“Inside, there was a letter that said that Y/n knew who I was before we even knew each other. She wrote–she was–” he got hung up on his words. “She wrote stories about me. About the band.” Ronnie nodded slowly, understanding. “She had a whole dedicated blog about me– about the band, I mean.” Ronnie watched as Josh fidgeted with his clothing. “She lied. She led me on to believe she had no idea who I was when we met. The entire time we were together, she was a fan, not a stranger. I feel so–dirty? I don’t know.” 

“So she told you in the letter?” Ronnie asked, picking apart the situation one piece at a time, trying her best to understand. 

“No, it wasn’t her handwriting. It looked familiar, but it wasn’t hers. There were printed out pictures of her writing–screenshots of her blog, I guess.”

Ronnie let silence wash over the conversation for a long moment. “Josh,” she said, mostly as a statement. 

“Yes?” He asked. She looked out at the scenery in front of them. “Do you love her?” She asked, turning to look him in the eyes. 

“What?” He asked, though he heard exactly what she said. 

“Do you still love Y/n? Because so far, you’ve spent way more time telling me about the amazing things than you really have about the bad parts,” she said, tucking stray hairs behind her ears. 

He stopped for a moment and sighed. “Of course I love her, Ron,” he said. “Hell, I was going to propose to her at the party,” he continued. “But she ruined it.” She let the sting of his words calm before continuing.

“What’s the most hurtful thing about this whole– you know?” Ronnie asked. 

“I just feel lied to, and led on,” he admitted, rubbing his chin in an attempt to pacify and comfort the vulnerable feelings. “I don’t know what’s real anymore.”

“She didn’t really lie to you, exactly.” She said, squinting from the intense sunlight, turning to look at Josh. “Yes, she should have told you, but I can imagine that wouldn’t have been an exactly easy conversation to have,” she admitted. “And even so, it’s so embarrassing. Do you really think Y/n had this drawn-out plot to find you and make you fall in love with her? You’re many things Josh, but you’re not an idiot,” She said, punching him gently in the shoulder. He offered a half-smile. 

“I don’t know what I expected,” he answered. 

“Maybe she didn’t expect to ever meet you in real life. And–maybe she fell in love with you honestly. It didn’t matter that you are famous, or that it was you that she fell in love with.” She shrugged. “Have you ever considered that might be the case?” She asked. 

Josh shook his head. “I don’t know.”

“How did you guys meet?” She asked out of curiosity. 

“At the grocery store. On the pasta aisle,” he grinned, embarrassed. 

“Who spoke first?” She asked, as if scoping out Josh’s concerns, walking them back to the very beginning of the relationship. 

“I did,” He admitted. “She chose Rao’s sauce,” he grinned, nodding. “Girl has good taste.”

Ronnie chuckled through her nose. “You’re a loser.”

“How did she react when she met you?” She asked, moving further down her list of questions.

“She couldn’t speak straight, but she smiled so wide. She was funny–clever. Something about her just screamed to me that she was a good person, an interesting person,” He went on. “We clicked instantly. So much so that I didn’t bother getting her number. I knew I’d see her again.”

“And?”

“And I did. At the bar a few weeks later,” He went on. 

“Did she know that you were there?” She asked. 

“No, I don’t think so. She was with friends,” Josh continued. “From that night on, I just knew that it was her. I would have never told her, but I just knew it.”

“So do you really think she was pretending the entire time?” She asked finally. 

Josh was silent, trying his best to find words to say.

“Josh,” She began again. “What is the one thing that the world needs more of? You always say it.”

“Love,” he said, eyeing his sister with a suspicious rise in his brow.

“Did you even let her explain everything? Give her time to tell you all of it?” Josh shook his head, looking off in the distance. “Nope.”

“Why not?” She asked. 

“Because in the moment, I felt so violated that I couldn’t even look at her. I mean, I had the ring in my pocket, Ron.” 

“If you had the ring and were ready to propose, that tells me you were prepared to spend your life with her,” she replied. “You’re not a casual person, Josh. You never have been. Are you really willing to throw away what could be the love of your life over something she obviously feels awful about?” 

There was another long silence, save for the wind brushing through the trees. 

“And it doesn't make sense how you even found out about it,” she continued. “Who told you? Who wrote that card?” 

“I don’t know,” he explained. “Honestly, I didn’t even think about it,” he explained. “I knew Y/n didn’t know that it had been switched, but at that moment, I didn’t care. I just wanted to leave.”

“I’m going to be very honest with you. I don’t think it’s very fair to Y/n to believe everything you were shown at first glance, and then not even know where the information was coming from, even if it was true.” She delivered her opinion honestly, but still remained careful. 

“Danny knew about it. He knew everything.”

“Josh, it’s Danny we’re talking about. Do you really think he would betray you by siding with a crazy stalker fan?” Josh stared straight ahead, picking nervously at his cuticles. His gaze fell, staring down at the ground for a long time.  “You’re no longer the kid from Frankenmuth who sings in choir and gets the lead in musicals. You’re not a nobody.”

“Wow, thanks,” he said with a sarcastic chuckle. 

“You’re famous, Josh,” She continued. “And you’re becoming well-known in circles you probably never expected or dreamed of.” Josh nodded. “I don’t think it’s fair to place that expectation on your partner–to be a perfect stranger who’s never heard of you, even if that is how you think you’d want to meet them. If it ends up happening that way, cool, but don’t determine the end of your story together based on how it started.”

“I just didn’t want to be known for my music when it came to stuff like that,” Josh explained, visibly disappointed. 

“And why’s that?” She asked, crossing her legs as she adjusted in her seat. “Don’t you think that your music is an extension of who you are as a person?” 

“Yes, but that’s not what I mean,” He said. “I just want her to love me for being me, and I felt like she did, but now, I feel like I’m questioning everything.”

“You know what you need to do. You’re upset, and rightfully so, but I don’t think you’re upset that Y/n was a fan of yours. I don’t think that at all. You’re upset because she didn’t feel like she could tell you the truth. You’re hurt that you had to find out the way you did. You wish you’d heard her tell you first, and not in front of your closest family and friends. That was wrong.” Ronnie’s words were hitting home for Josh, and it was exactly what he needed to hear. 

“You can be hurt by someone and still love them. You can be hurt by someone and still want to be with them and work through things. I can’t tell you what to do,” She said, standing up from the bench. “But I can tell you that the brother I know would have told me the exact same thing. You would have told me to trust my gut, and lead with love, even if you end up getting hurt in the end. So,” She said, stepping forward and placing her hands on his shoulders. “You need to go home and talk to her–and you need to decide now if you love each other enough to move past this.” 

“Who taught you to be so wise?” He asked, his lip curling with enthusiasm. 

“Mom and Dad,” she answered with a grin. “But I’ll throw your name in there if it makes you feel better,” She finished. 

“I love you,” he said, pulling her in for a long, well-needed hug. 

“I love you too, turd,” she answered playfully, squeezing her brother tight. “I know you’ll make the right decision.”

“I hope I will,” he said, already lost in thought. 

“I know you will,” she repeated. “You’re Josh. You’re always the heart of everything.” Josh couldn’t exactly understand why it had made him so emotional, but Ronnie’s words had simultaneously shattered the rest of him, and repaired the broken pieces all at once. You’re always the heart of everything. He’d continue to be that person, even if it meant that he would hurt in the end. 

“I’m going back to Nashville,” He announced, clearing his throat, working through the emotion.  “I need to fix this.” He swallowed, straightening his posture as he stood up. 

With a keen eye for departing flights, Josh had cancelled and rebooked the soonest one he could find, opting for a less than ideal airline and paying an exorbitant amount of fees, but he didn’t care. He’d determined that through all of the hurt, he still couldn’t tell himself that he didn’t care about you, and no amount of convincing himself would stop him from loving you–being in love with you.

Touching down in Nashville that next morning, he booked it to his house as quickly as he could. 

He was coming home to you–if you were still home, for that matter. 

End of Part 4.

Taglist: @doodle417 @watchingovergvf2@capturethechaos @sammyfuckingkiszka @ace-harrington @gvfvanfleet @flo-gvf @sacredthefran @jjwrites @jmkho @joshsindigostreak @gold-mines-melting @allieisacrybaby @sammysprincess@gretavansara @dannythedog@demolitionndann @gretasmokerising @shesawomaninadream @sonicbaptism @vixenstail @hearts-hunger @malany-gvf @cal-a-bungaa @rhythm-of-space @alwaysonthemend@meetingthestardust@ageofsinners @katelynn-gvf @ageofwagner @dannythedog @allieisacrybaby@sacredthethreadgvf @takenbythemadness @st4rdust-ch0rds @joshysgirl @gvfvanfleet @gretasfallingsky @madneedshelp @lipstickitty @demolitionndann @myownparadise96 @meetingthestardust @vanfleeter @gold-mines-melting @sacredthefran @mini-vann @sacredthethreadgvf @love-and-greta @gretafaninheat @positivegvfthings @loveisonaroll @writingcold @tearsofjosh @meetingthestarcatchers @fallonfatality @puzzle-gvf @takenbythemadness

[this-machine-runs-on-coffee]

"MEANT TO BE YOURS" (Trying to post again something I posted 11/12h ago because it doesn't show up in the tags I tagged it in for some reason) (deleted the og post because this one works) THIS IS NOT AN EXACT TRANSLATION, THIS IS AN ADAPTATION (tbh a simple translation would've been way easier to make) (5h or so after the OG repost of yesterday's adaptation from me of "Meant To Be Yours" I kind of made it a lil' better? The rhymes are more there now but around half of them are still shit and the syllables don't always fit)

So, I have two tests tomorrow in which I might get called but also not, the spoken ones (I'm not English forgive me for not knowing the word for it) So, obviously, I should be studying. So, guess what I've been doing! Studying? Nahh, that would be too productive and too good for my brain to decide "Yeah let's do it!". So, what did I do instead? I adapted Meant To Be Yours in Italian. I have many things I regret doing in my life and this is one of them. So anyway, here it is. ASK ME FOR PERMISSION BEFORE USING THIS, DO CREDIT ME IF YOU EVER USE THIS (I doubt you will it's impractical and still needs so much fixing it's unbelievable) AND TELL ME/LINK WHATEVER YOU USED IT FOR USING REBLOGS (because for some reason Tumblr doesn't like comments with links and while I do think I understand why I don't always like it) (the apostrophes [or however ' is called] are used to shorten the number of syllables often in poetry so I'm obviously abusing that power.)

[J.D., parlato] Tutt'è perdonato, piccola, forza su, vestiti. Vieni all'assemblea con me stasera! (cantato) M'hai piantato come tu fossi-Enea Per quello, dovresti morire Ma, ma, ma! Poi m'è venuta quest'idea E s'invece piantassimo la scuola? 'Sti stronzi son la soluzione Ti tengono a loro discrezione T'hanno accecata, la mente impestata Ma t'offro la liberazione

M'hai lasciato e son andato in pezzi Ho colpito il muro piangendo Bam, bam, bam! Ma hai rimesso insieme quei pezzi Tutte quelle verità liberando Quind'ho costruito una bomba Cosicché la scuola soccomba La loro maturità la si farà nell'oltretomba!

Destinato-ad esser tuo Destinati-ad esser'un soltanto Non arrenderti ora Finisci ciò ch'è iniziato Destinato-ad esser tuo

E quando la palestra farà "boom" grazie ai nostri botti Pow, pow, pow! Tra detriti della tomba Pianterem la nota che spiega perché son morti!

[J.D. & STUDENTI, parlato] Noi, gli studenti della Westerburg, moriremo I nostri corpi potranno finalmente raggiungere, a voi La vostra società crea schiavi ed empi, no grazie Firmato, gli Studenti della Westerburg Addio

[J.D.] Guarderemo'l fumo'ltrepassar le porte Porta marshmallows, li cuocerà la morte Sorrideremo e ci coccoleremo mentre il fuoco è forte

[J.D. & STUDENTI] Destinato-ad esser tuo Destinati-ad esser'un soltanto Non lo posso sopportare solo Finisci ciò ch'è iniziato Eri destinata-ad esser mia Son chi hai d'accompagnar Hai'nciso aperto'l mio cuore Non puoi lasciarmi a sanguinar

Veronica, apri la— apri la porta, ti prego Veronica, apri la porta Veronica, possiamo non litigar un'altra volta? Possiamo non litigar un'altra volta? Veronica, certo, hai paura, sono stato lì Posso liberare te Veronica, non farmi entrare lì, eh Conterò fino a tre! (parlato) Uno, due, fanculo!

[STUDENTI] Ah-ah-ah

[J.D., parlato] Oh mio Dio No! Veronica! (cantato) Per favore non lasciarmi solo Sei tutto ciò di cui mi fidavo Non posso farcela da solo

[JD & STUDENTI] Però, lo farò se devo!

[MAMMA DI VERONICA, parlato] Veronica, t'ho portato'no snack Veronica? Aaaghhh!

So, direct translation! (used in this to specify the meanings and explain certain word choices)

[J.D., spoken] All is forgiven, baby, come on, get dressed. You're my date for the assembly (substitute for pep rally, it was too long of a translation in Italian and apparently those two were similar, so) tonight! (sung) You dumped ("piantato" can mean that or planting plants or something else) me as if you were Aeneas (read the poem from that Virgilio guy, the one he wrote for the first Roman Emperor, Caesar's adoptive son, no not Brutus the other one, Octavian whose Emperor name was Augustus and look at the part where Aeneas leaves Dido. Guess school at times turns out to be useful) For that, you should die But, but, but! Then this idea came to me What if we planted (I understand, it sounds very vague but I played with the words and this kinda fit. Look at "piantato" earlier up) the school instead? Those assholes (or close to that meaning, motherfucker or bitches would work too probably) are the solution They keep you at their discretion (listen, it fit for the rhyme and kinda worked for the meaning) They blinded you, tainted (I said "impestato" of which I don't know the translation in English so I used google translate and it gave me "impeded" which wtf does it mean? But basically I wanted to say they basically acted like the plague on her thoughts if it makes sense? It should in Italian but if it doesn't, sorry, so anyway I put tainted) you But I offer you liberty (/freedom)

You left me and I fell apart I hit the wall crying Bam, bam, bam! But you put together those pieces Freeing all those truths So I built a bomb So that the school will succumb Their graduation will be done in the afterlife!

Meant to be yours Meant to be one only Don't give up now Finish what has been begun Meant to be yours

And when the gym goes (or more literally does) "boom" thanks to our fireworks (yeah uh, I call "botti" [booms but as a word or something similar I dunno] the "fuochi d'artificio" [fireworks], not sure how many people do that but forgive me I needed it for a lame rhyme [because the rhyme works but just barely and badly]) Pow, pow, pow! In the rubble of the tomb We'll plant the note that explains why they died!

[J.D. & STUDENTS, spoken] We, the students of Westerburg, will die Our bodies will finally arrive, to you Your society creates slaves and wicked, no thanks Signed, the Students of Westerburg ("But why is High missing?" Because we don't say High in italian [I think? I'm weirdly having doubts now]) Goodbye (at first I had put "Ciao", but after searching for "Meant To Be Yours in italiano" [Meant To Be Yours in Italian] I saw the word "Addio" in a video that was basically the translation and got the reminder it existed and worked way better so yeah I put that)

[J.D.] We'll watch the smoke pass (I'm unsure of how to translate "oltrepassare" but this kinda works too) the doors Bring marshmallows, death will cook them We'll smile and cuddle each other while the fire's strong

[J.D. & STUDENTS] Meant to be yours Meant to be one only I can't take (at first I'd put the take as do, also in Italian but thanks to the same video I changed it because it fit better) it alone Finish what has been begun You were meant to be mine I'm who you have to accompany You've carved open my heart You can't leave me to bleed

Veronica, open the— open the door, please Veronica, open the door Veronica, can we not fight once more? Can we not fight once more? Veronica, sure, you're scared, I've been there I can free you Veronica, don't make me come in there, eh I'm gonna count to three! (spoken) One, two, fuck it (or close to that meaning)!

[STUDENTS] Ah-ah-ah

[J.D., sung] Oh my God No! Veronica! (sung) Please don't leave me alone You're all I trusted I can't do it alone

[JD & STUDENTS] Still, I will if I'll have to!

[VERONICA'S MOM, spoken] Veronica, I brought you a snack Veronica? Aaaghhh! (The parts with the links to that video were added and changed like 3 hours after this was originally posted) OG LYRICS (if you're seeing this I doubt you don't know them, but here they are anyway):

[J.D., spoken] All is forgiven, baby, come on, get dressed. You're my date to the pep rally tonight! (sung) You chucked me out like I was trash For that, you should be dead But, but, but Then it hit me like a flash What if high school went away instead? Those assholes are the key They're keeping you away from me They made you blind, messed up your mind But I can set you free

You left me and I fell apart I punched the wall and cried Bam, bam, bam Then I found you changed my heart And set loose all that truthful shit inside And so I built a bomb Tonight our school is Vietnam Let's guarantee they never see their senior prom

I was meant to be yours We were meant to be one Don't give up on me now Finish what we've begun I was meant to be yours

So when the high school gym goes "boom" with everyone inside Pow, pow, pow In the rubble of their tomb We'll plant this note explaining why they died

[J.D. & STUDENTS, spoken] We, the students of Westerburg High will die Our burnt bodies may finally get through to you Your society churns out slaves and blanks, no thanks Signed, the Students of Westerburg High Goodbye

[J.D.] We'll watch the smoke pour out the doors Bring marshmallows, we'll make s'mores We can smile and cuddle while the fire roars

[J.D. & STUDENTS] I was meant to be yours We were meant to be one I can't make it alone Finish what we've begun You were meant to be mine I am all that you need You carved open my heart Can't just leave me to bleed

Veronica, open the— open the door, please Veronica, open the door Veronica, can we not fight anymore, please? Can we not fight anymore? Veronica, sure, you're scared, I've been there I can set you free Veronica, don't make me come in there I'm gonna count to three (spoken) One, two, fuck it!

[STUDENTS] Ah-ah-ah

[J.D., spoken] Oh my God No! Veronica! (sung) Please don't leave me alone You were all I could trust I can't do this alone

[JD & STUDENTS] Still, I will if I must

[VERONICA'S MOM, spoken] Veronica, I brought you a snack Veronica? Aaaghhh!

THIS WAS SO FUCKING PAINFUL TO MAKE

[pinkcannibal]

i’m about to head onto a flight 🥳 any oneshot sneak peeks/chapter teases/ fun facts about marilyn x reader to keep me entertained for a bit? 👀

have a safe flight! ummmm can't give any chapter teases as itll just be straight up half the plot of chapter 20 probably dkdkdkd so have some unhinged/smut/ cute facts of them from my fic instead !

deleting tylers number wasn't the first time marilyns done something so yandere and possessive like this without reader knowing. the reason she was able to find reader so fast is that she has her phone tracked and tapped, trust that when reader finds this out she takes it as romantic and a sign of devotion. bc they're normal like that!

reader one day asks marilyn to recreate holding her the way she held her while making her stab tyler, but this time begs to be able to come <3

real to me marilyn can't for the fucking life of her work social media. she doesn't even try or want to learn, but reader finds this so endearing that her 40 year old milf gf in all seriousness does not know what instagram or tik tok is. and she's valid for it. readers like god that's hot. fuck me right now

marilyn always plays jazz music on her record player in the mornings when she gets up before her girl <3 reader will just lay there and watch her cook breakfast and melt into the sheets when marilyn catches her eye and winks at her, cooing "goodmorning sweet girl"

u know what yeah. reader one day being so dumbed down in her head space that she slips up in class and calls marilyn "mommy" and all the students laugh, bc like. who hasn't done that once. reader dyinnggg and blushing, shoving a cackling yoko next to her. but she looks up and marilyns up the front of the room slack jawed needing to pull herself together bc good christ this girl will be the death of her

the first time reader gets marilyn flowers (bc its always marilyn gifting her plants. which they both love don't bet me wrong) it's so endearing and adorable that marilyn almost clutches her chest like a love sick victorian woman

haven't touched on it in my fic but uhhhh it's. unbelievably canon that reader loves cockwarming marilyn. trust i will elaborate on that some point <3 kdkdkd

[roxannevomitsrainbows]

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Our only hope is that you can help my family survive this brutal war. 🙏🌹

Thank you sincerely. 🌹

Hey guys this one has been vetted, i checked thru the official list of palestian families needing help and it's one of them. this isn't a scammer account. Reblog if you can, donate if you can. This is my largest blog with the largest number of reach and active followers- make it spread far and wide. If you've seen the tumblr reblog webs, then you understand the impact a reblog can actually have.

They're only just over 20% of the way funded and it's unbelievably heartbreaking and horrific that the people going thru this genocide have to come to come up with such outrageous extortion money just to escape and survive.

As of this posting, they've only raised €5,594 of €25,000 goal.

If you've bought Starbucks, Coca cola, or McDonald's in the past year, throw them $5. Something is better than nothing. And please please reblog. This is direct-action you can take to actually make a difference.

[themultifandomgal]

Cillian Murphy- Insecurities

Trigger warnings- talks about anorexia, divorce and online bullying

I meet Cillian when I joined season 4 of Peaky Blinders, I was to be Tommy Shelbys new love interest. However during this time it came out that Cillian was divorced and I was the one to blame, although they had divorced a year before I had even met Cillian. The hate I received was unbelievable, I was called a home wrecker, I was told to harm myself, told I was nothing but a gold digger so many nasty things, and since I'm 15 years younger it was worse. For Cillian this was such a hard time because he is such a privet person, but like always the hate died down. It's been a few years now and Cillian and I promoting our newest film together Oppenheimer. However the news about me being in this film had mix reviews, most positive, but there's still a handful of people who believe that I'm the cause of his divorce. I was recently added into a group chat on Twitter where they criticised my body, my acting, my relationship. This made me question a lot of this and I definitely became insecure.

Before Cillian and I met I was anorexic and when we did meet it was when I was better, although he knows all about that and has helped me through some dark moments I still have days where I feel like I could go back to my old days. Things have gotten so bad I have deleted all of my social medias. I'm curled up in mine and Cillian bed crying after looking at myself in the mirror for the last 20 minutes when the door opens

"Babe have you seen... what's wrong? Are you hurt? Feel ill?"

"I'm fine"

"You obviously aren't because your crying so come on tell me"

"Honestly Cil I'm just being stupid"

"Never stupid. Tell my what's going on in that head of yours" Cillian moves a stray hair from my face then moves to caress my check.  I sigh leaning into his touch

"It's just other girls are much prettier than me. You could literally have anyone in the world but you chose me, I don't understand why. I'm 15 years younger, I'm in my 20s so my do you want me?"

"Babe come here" I sit up and scoot over to Cillian who wraps me up in his arms "I love you and only you. Your beautiful inside and out, don't listen to what other people say, because I know you do, stop looking at the news. As for your age, it's just a number we're both adults and can do whatever we want, within reason, you've got to stop letting other peoples words cloud your own judgment. This is why I stay offline"

"Yeah Will I deleted all my social the other week"

"I know you though YN, and I know that you will still search for yourself to see what people are saying about you"

"I just hate feeling like this, hate feeling so insecure"

"I know baby I hate seeing you hate yourself when all I see is perfection. What can I do to help?" I shrug my shoulders not really knowing what anyone could do "what about speaking to your therapist. Maybe they could give you some advice" Cillian suggests

"Yeah maybe"

"YN I love you so much and I will tell you everyday how beautiful you are and how much I love you" Cillian leans down and kisses my lips "I'll make sure to tell you how important you are to not only me but everyone around you. This hate will go away, or at least you won't see it"

"I love you too" I smile at him glad I have him in my life "what was it you were looking for?"

"Huh?"

"You came in about to ask me where something was"

"Oh. I was just wondering if you knew where my hoodie was but I think I've found it" I giggle pulling the sleeves down and snuggling into Cillian more. Things will be ok soon.

[aoife-asturmaux]

Aoife has a very similar skin tone to my wol and I was wondering if you have any good shader recommendations that don’t wash out darker skin tones? Thank you if you take the time to answer!

Thanks for asking!! I actually used to have a recs post but I deleted it after the gshade drama earlier this year. Might as well make a new one!

First, i should mention that a lot of shaders are very dependent on the lighting and environment! Some only look good on dark-skinned characters at night or indoors, or in conjunction with the gpose lighting/brightness slider to get the tone you want juuust right.

With that caveat out of the way, here are some favorites!

(note for people reading this: this post was from before the Dawntrail graphics update and some of these shader recs may not still apply. I will make a new post later)

Ipsusu Screenie Amber

Ipsusu's shaders are primarily gameplay-focused, but their "screenie" shaders have all the fancy bells and whistles of other screencap-focused presets. I'm particularly fond of the Amber variant, because it adds a really nice warm tone and looks great in broad daylight or bright places. There are a number of variants (Melon and Crystal are also quite good!) so try out the ones that look best on your wol!

Glace Clear Bloom B

This one can have mixed results (beware bright sunlight!) but works pretty well outdoors if you use the sun as your rimlight and shine a gpose point light on your wol.

Maya Sharlayan Portrait was tuned specifically for use in Sharlayan during the day, and while it works pretty well in other waterside locations I'd limit its use to outdoors/daytime. Maya Purple Cocoon has a bunch of shaders tuned specifically for darker-skinned wols, and while I don't use them very often they look pretty good with aoife. definitely worth looking into!

I'm still playing around and experimenting to find shaders that work best with aoife (and some don't work as well as advertised >_>) but definitely play around with different lighting environments and light setups. Shaders that wash your wol out in the daytime might look fabulous at night!

---

I'm going to put the remaining recs under a cut bc i actually don't want to give the person who made these any more free advertising. buuuut if your shaders came from a previous gshade install, you will have these already, and it would be remiss of me not to at least mention them when i use them every day.

Simple & Clean 2 in the Natural folder is my go-to for... just about everything, honestly. I don't always use it in daylight because it does tend to wash out skin, but at night or indoors it's phenomenal.

I also get a lot of use out of Hanami in the same folder, but that one's way more hit or miss w/ skintones.

Nami is another shader in the Natural folder that works pretty well with dark skin. It adds an overall cool tone (works great in Ishgard!) as opposed to simple & clean 2's warm tone.

Traveler can be tough to use because of its high contrast, but in certain environments it's unbelievable how good it looks. I use it most often on the moon and in ultima thule.

Vanilla Natural is in the Final Fantasy XIV folder in [Universe], and it's just what it says on the tin: all it adds is a little more saturation and a stronger depth of field blur, but otherwise there aren't any fancy effects. There's also a version with just the blur and no additional saturation. This is a great shader for folks who like the look of the vanilla game (or want to preserve their wol's skintone ;))

and that's that about that!

[jacoboh]

𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐭𝐰𝐨: 𝐡𝐨𝐥𝐝 𝐨𝐧 𝐭𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭. **

mentioned: adee hayag (@adeehayag), katherine russell (@katherinefms), maya tanaka, mariana rojas (@marianaxrojasx), tucker rivers, toby rivers, julia davis, ruby sullivan, dante kidd

trigger warnings: blood, death, manipulation, stabbing, dismemberment, murder

MAY 21ST, 2023

Just as he expects, everything is going to plan. Somewhere along the line of cleaning Adee’s mess up, Jake notices how unbelievably out of it she was. She killed a man, and she still found a way to look helpless. It conveniently makes forgetting something behind all too easy, even if it was wiped free of any fingerprints or DNA, effectively making the death of Rhys Miller public knowledge following a few days of waiting. He wants to test Adee, it’s the newest obsession in his mind with the end of the school year approaching. She looks perfectly fine after the news of Rhys came out, barely mourning the loss of her dead hookup. Adee was capable of killing someone, even if it was accidental like she’d said, but he wondered if she was capable of more. 

He’d risked his entire future for her, and now Jake was feeling as though she owed him something. Her loyalty. He was wondering how far she would go for him, how much she really meant it when she was so thankful towards him a few weeks ago.

Jake was calculated in his decision. He sat at his desk just as the school day finished and pondered the two clear options. Surely, one would be easier. There were three of them, but Jake intended to see if he could be the one to break the trio, and eventually, take the remaining girl away too. As he thought about it again, leaning back in his chair, he nodded to himself, realizing he was right. Maya would be far easier. 

After a little waiting, and a little knock to the head after he’d followed her on her way home, Jake set the younger girl down on a chair, finding an abandoned shack just by the shore of Echo Beach, the smell of the sea and sound of the waves the only thing left to fill the silence of the night. He pulled out his phone, pulled up Adee’s number, and texted her.

JAKE: Come see me. I have a surprise for you.

He deleted the text and any following that, thinking that Kat was the kind of girlfriend to go through his phone when he was in the shower. She was a little crazy, a little more so since the news of Rhys, but he liked it. Jake liked the role he played with her, the loving boyfriend who had nothing to hide. Waiting around, he could only really sit with himself, not exactly able to make conversation with an unconscious Maya. Beyond being somewhat of a friend, Jake didn't particularly care for her and felt like the girl’s only personality trait was that she lived in Japan and knew how to use a camera. It was better that she couldn’t talk right now, that way he couldn’t grow annoyed and be vicious towards her. 

Jake can’t help but smile as he sees Adee, greeting her at the door and blocking the sight of Maya. He doesn’t bother asking her how she is, what she’d been doing, because none of it really matters to him. What did matter was watching the horror and shock cross over Adee’s face as she realized it was her best friend who was unconscious and tied up. She looks terrified of him, terrified of the possibilities right now, and it only makes him want to laugh. Her innocent act is almost realistic enough, if he hadn’t seen her violently murder a man a few weeks prior.

“Kill her, or I’ll kill you both,” he says sweetly after a few moments, caressing her cheek and looking into her eyes as if she was the one he adored. He takes a seat, handing her the knife that was in his hand, because in all his years of knowing Adee, Jake already knows what she’ll do. It’s a matter of seeing it for himself, gaining a sick sense of satisfaction and happiness watching her kill her own best friend, watching her break piece by piece all because of him. It’s unreal the way he feels at ease, comfortable and relaxed for once in his life. It’s so beyond refreshing that Jake doesn’t want to let go of the feeling, and he wonders if being this in control was the only way he could achieve it. 

With Maya’s corpse hunched over in the chair, Adee having taken a step back, he was reminded of how good it felt to tear Rhys apart, to remove the essence of who he was piece by piece. Why did everyone else get to be happy and normal besides him? Why did everyone else get to have something they loved and cherished and it be genuine? He looks down at Maya’s hands. Taking apart a body every time would be too hard, so maybe he can take what they love instead. Her and those stupid fucking pictures. The number of times Jake remembers the younger pointing a camera in his direction, forced to look poised and happy when he felt anything but. She doesn’t deserve to keep what she loves.

So he has his fun, chopping off her hands and discarding them to throw away later, taking his time with making sure his area is clean and free of any evidence. The police are incompetent, but he prefers to not take any chances. Jake doesn’t intend to keep anything that could possibly trace this back to him anyway. It’s late at night, pitch black surrounding the area with the exception of the faint moonlight, dropping Maya’s body by the water before going home unnoticed. 

He’ll take care of the other one next.

JUNE 5TH, 2023

Nobody ever liked Tucker Rivers.

At least, that’s what Jake thought. For as long as he’s known the older, Jake’s hated him, thinking that he was a two-faced douchebag, and that you’d have to be an idiot to like the guy. Mariana did attend an Ivy League just to get a degree in the arts, but Jake would’ve thought the girl he’d grown up with would've been a little smarter. He can’t even pretend to be surprised by their long-winded talk where he mostly found himself repeating himself for 20 minutes, but he’s already annoyed by the situation. Tucker was a name he only preferred to hear about once a year at most, and suddenly, he was the topic of far too many conversations. Really, he was doing everyone a favor tonight.

Just as he’s discarding the cigarette in his mouth, bud and ashes staining the concrete, a familiar face appears, not that it’s unexpected. “I’ve been hearing about you too much lately,” Jake lets out, leaning against the brick wall a block or so away from Salem Surf. “It’s pissing me off,” he adds. The other smirks and laughs in turn, and though Jake’s face remains unfazed, he remembers why he and the older fought so much growing up. He’s never bothered with a mask of happiness or sincerity around Tucker, because Jake is confident nobody would believe a word that comes out of the lowlife’s mouth. 

“Come on, Jakey. You and I have more in common than you’ll ever admit.” He hates that nickname, and he hates it even more coming from Tucker’s mouth. There’s a knife behind his back, concealed until he pushes himself off of the wall and steps in the older’s direction, the glint of the blade coming into view as he holds it to his side. “You’re right,” Jake remarks, looking into Tucker’s eyes before smiling, letting out a chuckle of his own. This is normally the part where he’d throw a punch, their common, juvenile routine coming into play. Except instead of a punch to the face, it’s a knife to the gut that Jake throws, a gentle smile remaining on his face as he spoke again. “But I’m better than you, Tuck. And I always have been.”

He watches as the other falls to the ground, taking the knife out before bending down and stabbing him again. It’s refreshing and though he hadn’t actually killed anyone yet, Adee doing all of his dirty work, Jake was starting to see the appeal. Every cry, every yell of pain that wouldn't be heard by anyone. It was all because of him. So he kept going, until the cries faded out and there was blood pouring out in excess, and Tucker no longer screamed out for help.

Jake reminds himself he’s in public, covering Tucker’s mouth halfway through so his muffled screams weren’t heard by a soul. He wanted to have more fun, but it was late, and he promised Kat he’d make dinner after he stopped at home and showered. There wouldn’t be any time for more, much to his own dismay.

Tucker’s body was discarded in the trash before he headed home, just where he belonged.

JUNE 10TH, 2023

It’s fortunate that nobody truly mourns the loss of the eldest River brother besides his best friend, but he doesn’t mind it. Jake knows what’s best for Toby, and he knows he’s the brother that the other truly deserved. It is a nuisance to see his life-long friend become a suspect and to have his girlfriend be the one to accuse him. If anything, both of them are the only true, non-blood attachments he could never give up. Jake doesn’t want to entertain the thought of taking one of their sides or losing either of them. It frustrates him a bit, so he decides that it’s time to get back to plan, something that would ensure him peace and happiness. 

It’s time to get rid of Julia Davis.

As fun as being partially responsible, and at times fully responsible, for the deaths that had the town shaken up, and as fun as being in control of whether someone lived or died was, Jake liked to think there was a worse reality than death. He likes to imagine what it would be like to ruin someone’s life, bend them to his will, and make them lose everything they’ve ever had. He wondered what it would feel like to leave someone hollow and broken, the way he’d felt his entire life. He wondered what it would feel to create the monster his mother had with him. 

He wondered if he could do that to Adee.

In the end, Jake was a simple person. He didn’t need an elaborate plan to ruin her, he just needed to take away the right pieces. It was fortunate that a girl like Adee didn’t have much of a brain, and that her loyalties, her true loyalties were obvious. He planned for her loyalties to only lie with him, which meant there were people that had to go. 

Jake had his car parked outside the Daily Dose, watching from afar his younger sister get off of work and leave the premises, and then he watched as the few remaining customers filtered out and it was just the girl he was looking for remaining. Julia wasn’t a tall person, nor was she very strong in his personal opinion, so knocking her out and carrying her to his car had been easy, barely even glancing at her face as he dropped her in his trunk. He’d specifically waited for everyone to leave, knowing better than to get caught. It’s why he could practically feel the eyes at the back of his head, the unsure ‘hello’ that’s spoken out, shutting his trunk and going into the driver's seat to grab a knife. It’s a bit dull, and it’s unfortunate that they’ve seen too much. But his plan isn’t finished, and he won’t be caught regardless.

Ruby Sullivan was someone Jake only knew in passing. They made music, not that he’d listened to half the crap any of the self-proclaimed artists in town made. He couldn’t say he felt anything as he twisted a knife into her back, maybe besides a little bit of pleasure. Jake finds it funny that they still fight, even when it’s clear he has the upper hand. He bends down as her body falls to the ground, sending the blade right back into her over and over again. He’s being thorough, taking out a little bit of his frustration on them. Jake is bent down over their body, glancing down to see his gray hoodie has splotches of red all over it, making him sigh. “Look what you did, Ruby. This was expensive,” he lets out, rolling his eyes at her unconscious body before picking them up, tossing her inside the trunk alongside Julia. He wishes they would’ve been a little quicker to pass out, maybe he wouldn’t have to worry about cleaning his car tomorrow too.

…

He doesn’t like when Adee cries. Because there isn’t a moment where he can bring himself to feel bad for her. Jake doesn’t care that she’s breaking over the idea of her unconscious best friend, because 20 seconds ago, she was happy to see Ruby dead right next to her. How is that fair? Maybe it was Julia who he was doing a favor, having her killed so she wouldn’t have to deal with a psychotic best friend. She pleads and says no, and lets those ugly tears stream down her face, and all Jake can do is admire the shiny knife in his hands, much sharper compared to the one he used on Ruby. He repeats those same words he did when it was Maya’s body next to them. And because he knows Adee, he knows she’ll do this.

For the second time, he sits back and watches as Adee kills another of her best friends, destroying her world because of him. He almost would’ve kissed her, knowing that she was dying for a sign that he cared beyond their sick and twisted secret. But honestly, she looked ugly with all that crying, and maybe it would be better to save it for another time. There was a high he got watching her kill, but for now, he’d save his afterthoughts of pleasure for Kat. Maybe on her kitchen counter this time.

As for his fun, what he would take this time, the fingers felt like an obvious choice. Ruby would never be able to play another chord on the bass, and Julia would never be able to type up an unfinished novel again. Left for the creative, musically-inclined one, and right for the do-gooder, book-smart one. 

JUNE 23RD, 2023

It doesn’t surprise him to see Adee cozying up to Dante at the festival a week ago. Jake remembers hearing something about them hooking up in the bathroom of Medusa, but it’s not all that surprising to see her latch onto a guy who’s clearly looking for a rebound. Jake doesn’t like the way she looks so happy at the festival, that the tears she shed over killing her best friend weeks ago have been replaced by a lovestruck look in her eyes. Maybe a part of him is glad that she’s so desperate, because it makes things easier for him.

Adee is someone he’s known for a good part of his life, and if there's one thing he knows for certain about her, it’s her desperation for love. Best friends would come and go, but love? It was something he’d watched her chase her entire life. Before her parents got arrested and her life went to hell. Truthfully, he’d been waiting for a sign. The final part of his plan to take away the things she loves. He almost considers letting Dante live a little longer, until he acknowledges that a murderer like Adee doesn’t deserve to be happy. She looked at Jake like he was everything, until some guy with a guitar and shitty rock music came along, and there was a big part of Jake that didn’t like that. After all he’d done for her, she was still looking for something better.

It was nice living in a small town, it was easy to find people and follow them without looking suspicious. Nobody was even looking when he’d taken Dante, knocked him over the head and thrown him in the backseat of his car. You’d think after the police were aware of a murderer being on the loose, they’d be a little more diligent. He grabbed Dante’s phone from his pocket, chuckling as a notification from Adee came up. 

On the drive over to Royal Cove beach, Jake wondered if he’d be able to make her do it. If it came down to it, would Adee really kill off her last hope at happiness? There was a part of him that doubted it, especially seeing her almost hesitate killing Julia. He decided he’d do them both a favor tonight, and kill Dante himself. Jake leans back in his driver’s seat, pulling out his own phone to text Adee.

JAKE: Want to come see his surprise?

He’d have an hour or so before security made their way around the beach, which gave him plenty of time to get in and out. Admittedly, he got bored waiting for Adee to show up, kicking Dante’s unconscious body around and thinking about the possible repercussions of killing a nice guy like him. Jake knew he was close with Kat, but maybe it could work to his advantage. She’d be upset, which gave him the opportunity to be there for him. Being her boyfriend was harder than he imagined, mostly because she was so headstrong and dominant in public. But with people dying around them, he got to be the strong one between the two of them. 

Watching Adee approach through the darkness made him feel excited, knowing her reaction was half the fun. He held the knife in his hand, rested right under the man’s chin as he propped up Dante’s unconscious and bloodied face for her to see. “Surprise,” he says, a light but wicked grin forming on his face. Jake lets go of Dante’s hair, letting his body fall to the group as he lets out a sigh. “I’m hurt, Adee. I thought we had something special,” Jake says, walking towards her. He paints his expression to be soft, almost as if he’s concerned about the state of the two of them. “Wasn’t it always supposed to be us in the end?” he asks, cupping her cheek gently. Jake smiles, and if there wasn’t an unconscious body between them, and if you ignored the fact that he had a girlfriend at home, you’d almost think his words were genuine. He sighs again, letting go of her and walking back to where Dante was, raising the knife that was in his hand before looking back at Adee. His eyes returned back to their normal state of coldness, looking at her even as he plunged a knife into Dante’s chest, ripping the knife out before stabbing him again. Jake didn’t like to take any chances, he wanted to make sure when he dropped his body down by the shore, that he’d really be dead.

His hands were a little bloody as he dropped Dante to the ground, walking back up to Adee and cupping her cheeks again, not caring that it was her now dead ex-boyfriend’s blood that stained both his hands and her face. Jake stepped closer to her, and he ignored her tears this time, ignored how pathetic she looked and how he’d rather be kissing the girl he loved right now. But plans weren’t about feelings, and he was a master at pretending. 

So after looking up and down her face, as if he was admiring her beauty, Jake brought his lips to hers, closing the distance between the two and embracing her frame. It was gentle, and tender, and sweet, and everything he truly wasn’t, taking his time to open up her mouth a bit before holding back a smirk as she kissed back. He could feel the change in her, satisfied at his own doing and because she’d been so good about following his plans, Jake gave her what he knew she wanted. Just as he’d been there for years to be her rebound, to be the one she sought comfort with after his best friend had broken up with her, he was here again. Lips heavy against hers just as they’d been years ago, and for a moment, Jake remembered why he was attracted to her again.

She was still as helpless as ever.

[emsloe]

Hows about all the odd numbers in that ask meme for Seth?

dhfgjds i deleted my rb like 20 seconds after reblogging it and had to go hunt it down again, you're speedy! Thank you I love thinking about these

1. What is the character’s go-to drink order? He basically never goes to bars or restaurants because of his anxiety (and his social life is pretty stunted anyway). He mostly just drinks a lot of water. He eventually starts drinking IPA but really only because Sera does

3. What was their most expensive purchase/where does their disposable income go? He doesn't really get much of a personal income with the death mechanics. When people tip him he mostly either stashes it somewhere and forgets about it, gets vending machine snacks, or slips it to Tef so she can buy candy. The most expensive purchase he made with Mechanic funds was probably his pigeon loft

5. What was the last time they cried, and under what circumstances? He is still definitely emotional about his death and cries sometimes when he's reminded too much of it, though oddly he didn't cry when it actually happened

7. Describe the shoes they’re wearing. He's got some sturdy, albeit very worn, brown work boots. He walks a lot and used to wear through sneakers at an alarming rate. Seth would have been fine with wearing unbelievably ratty sneakers everywhere (and he used to!), but Ilya got fed up and intervened

9. What is their favorite holiday? He goes through a period where he doesn't celebrate holidays at all, but immediately before and after that, probably thanksgiving. Mason mostly expresses his love through food, and Seth loves Mason, so

[jodilin65]

Well, the Tingo adventure ended almost as fast as it began because their site is unbelievably glitchy as hell. Never seen anything like it. I guess they’re just seriously understaffed what with how expensive it is to run AI stuff. Unless you’re a huge company like Bing, it’s very hard to afford from what Tom explained to me.

It explains why I was surprised to see so many pitifully old, ugly characters. Some people might find that appealing but that many?

It will no longer let me create characters I want but it will sometimes create randomly generated ones and sometimes I get these old, fat, ugly bitches. So the others I’m seeing on the Discover page probably didn’t intend to create them either but the users didn’t bother to delete them.

Tom signed up using a disposable email since verifications weren’t going to real email addresses for some reason, so I could get 20 coins but then I realized that he didn’t need to sign up. I could have done this myself with a disposable email address.

Anyway, I tried contacting them on their social media accounts and through email but have been ignored. I don’t see how they can expect anyone to want to pay for something so insanely glitchy.

Ray just got in. I like it when he’s out at night because that’s one less chance for him to decide to blast his TV. He’s still been pretty good for the most part, though. Still, I’ll like it better when he and the other snowbirds get the hell out. Two more months!

The planes are back to being annoying in the evening but I’m hoping that’s just because of the heavy cloud coverage due to the rain we’ve had in the last couple of days.

Jessie asked me if I knew any French and I told her that I can read some but never studied it as much as other languages because I don’t like it. She said she and David were thinking of celebrating their 30th anniversary in St Lucia so she thought it would be nice to know some French. I recommended Duolingo to her. I can’t imagine her learning much French, though, because it’s not only a tough language but languages just aren’t her thing any more than their Tom’s thing. She can barely write in her own language. She’s definitely a numbers girl.

Looked on the map and saw that it’s close to Martinique and remembered what my nieces said if you can believe the little bitches. They said it was the worst vacation they were ever on because they hate Americans and were very rude.

Either way, I’m happy for her but a little frustrated for us. I know it’s supposed to be “bad thinking” but hey, sometimes we can’t help how we feel and it’s okay to have our feelings, whatever they are. Our own 30th anniversary is a few months away and I’m going to be bogged down with heavy fatigue after my second shingles shot and even if I wasn’t, we’re too poor to ever vacation anywhere again. I honestly believe that the flight here was our last. I always believed that but at least I got to go to different places and it’s not like I’ve never been anywhere. But they’re still working and we’re retired and you’re usually pretty damn low income when you’re retired. I would still rather have him home and not have money than have money and have him working all the time which I know he would hate. Money is nice but it isn’t everything and it’s not always worth it if you’re just going to be miserable. We’ve got enough to pay our bills but we’re still in debt and I don’t even know if we’ll even be able to do Red Lobster or get some Chinese food. He’s not a fan of either of these, though, so it’s no big deal. We’ll celebrate at home while I deal with vax side effects.

That’s the shitty thing about getting old like I said in my last entry, is that there aren’t many opportunities or surprises in your future. Sure, I may win a trip somewhere or a ton of money but what are the odds of that? Not that life was perfect when we were younger but the door was definitely open to more possibilities in our 20s and 30s and even our 40s and 50s as opposed to me getting close to my 60s and him getting close to his 70s.

I really like using my secondary Facebook account for all kinds of things from journals to pics to random thoughts that I would normally tweet. Maybe I won’t use Twitter much anymore. I decided to hold off on sharing current journals over there until I catch up with copying old stuff over there. I think it would be a bit confusing to go back and forth between old and new stuff.

[this-machine-runs-on-coffee]

"I AM DAMAGED" THIS IS NOT AN EXACT TRANSLATION, THIS IS AN ADAPTATION (AND ONE THAT STILL NEEDS TONS OF FIXING AT THAT)

Ok so, 24/5/24, I got distracted again and for tomorrow have the same problem as the "Meant To Be Yours" Italian adaptation This will come out whenever it's scheduled to come out (but after "Shine A Light (Reprise)" for sure. Probably that Friday/Saturday, who knows). Especially because that week just got busier and yeah I need to give you a little something.

ASK ME FOR PERMISSION BEFORE USING THIS, DO CREDIT ME IF YOU EVER USE THIS (I doubt you will it’s impractical and still needs so much fixing it’s unbelievable) AND TELL ME/LINK WHATEVER YOU USED IT FOR USING REBLOGS (because for some reason Tumblr doesn’t like comments with links and while I do think I understand why I don’t always like it)

(the apostrophes [or however ’ is called] are used to shorten the number of syllables often in poetry so I’m obviously abusing that power.) [J.D.] Son danneggiato, troppo danneggiato Ma non sei irreparabile Resta in vita Rendi tutto migliore Che m'hai battuto e sei ammirabile Ti prego allontanati Poco più'n là Non so 'sto coso cosa farà Spero di mancarti Vorrei baciarti Così sapresti chi t'adora Darò la mia vita per la tua [VERONICA] Oh mio Dio— [J.D.] E quando sarò già via [VERONICA] 'Spetta, fermo là— [J.D.] Cancella da qua la mia scia [VERONICA] Non così! [J.D.] Il nostr'amor'è Dio Il nostr'amor'è Dio Il nostr'amor'è Dio Il nostr'amor'è Dio [VERONICA] Saluta Dio [HEATHER MCNAMARA, parlato] Dov'eri andata? Tutti dicevano ti fossi uccisa! [HEATHER DUKE, parlato] Sembr'esser esplosa [VERONICA, parlato] Ci sei vicina [HEATHER DUKE, parlato] Hey! Che stai facendo?!

So, direct translation! (used in this to specify the meanings and explain certain word choices) [J.D.] I'm damaged, far(/way) too damaged But you’re not irreparable Stay alive Make everything better That you beat me and you're admirable Please (back away/)distance yourself ‘Little further Don’t know what this thing will do I hope you’ll miss me (I) Wish I'd kiss you Then you’d know who worships you I’ll trade my life for yours [VERONICA] Oh my God— [J.D.] And when I'll already be gone [VERONICA] Wait, hold on— [J.D.] Delete from here my streak (Streak, I do mean it as his remains but it's not explicited) [VERONICA] Not like this! [J.D.] Our love is God Our love is God Our love is God Our love is God [VERONICA] Say Hi to God [HEATHER MCNAMARA, spoken] Where have you been? People were saying you killed yourself! [HEATHER DUKE, spoken] You look like you exploded [VERONICA, spoken] (You're) Close to that [HEATHER DUKE, spoken] Hey! What are you doing?!

OG LYRICS (if you’re seeing this I doubt you don’t know them, but here they are anyway): [J.D.] I am damaged, far too damaged But you’re not beyond repair Stick around here Make things better ‘Cause you beat me fair and square Please stand back now ‘Little further Don’t know what this thing will do Hope you’ll miss me Wish you’d kiss me Then you’d know I worship you I’ll trade my life for yours [VERONICA] Oh my God— [J.D.] And once I disappear [VERONICA] Wait, hold on— [J.D.] Clean up the mess down here [VERONICA] Not this way! [J.D.] Our love is God Our love is God Our love is God Our love is God [VERONICA] Say Hi to God [HEATHER MCNAMARA, spoken] Where have you been? People were saying you killed yourself! [HEATHER DUKE, spoken] You look like hell [VERONICA, spoken] I just got back [HEATHER DUKE, spoken] Hey! What are you doing?!