#the only superhero movie ive ever liked was Logan

[icarusredwings]

Rewatched Deadpool 1. Took notes.

WARNING: Discussion of mental illness topics, ending yourself, trauma, violence, etc.

Civil debate/ conversation welcomed. Sorry its super long. I think a lot.

Notes:

You know what? We see Wade coloring a lot. What's our status on just giving him cartoons snacks and coloring books? He needs it.

I think we all forget how actually impressive this man is. I just watched this cancer having fucker do like 50 flips.

Whatta man is so Logan Howlett coded.

"Bad deadpool" "good deadpool!"

Deadpool has been helping kids for a while. He terrified a little creep while he himself was a huge creep.

Missed up his words and Vanessa smiled at him. With that "aw hes cute" kinda thing.

When talking about their childhood (whether he's lying or not, hes not about the uncle) and he outdos her so much that she giggles.

The first date he takes her ducking skiiballing instead of yk prostitute stuff

Hes so romantic oh my god.

Theyre giggling and joking like all the time. Personally thanksgiving is my favorite scene before he proposes with a fucking ring pop.

I shouldn't laugh but the way he said "wtf" when passing out

Vanessa instantly jumping to "what can we do? There has to be something" makes me instantly respect her as a chronically ill person myself. Partners who medically defend each other make me so happy because a lot of people divorce their partners when they get "too sick" let alone dont show up to specialist appointments.

Him accepting death so quickly is a sign of mental illness, and you can see him be confused on why shes so upset. Shes crying and hes sitting here like "why do you care if I die or not?" He physically feels so unloved that he just doesn't get it.

"I dont know. Might further the plot. " Oh, so you know about wades little mental tv show he puts on in his head as a coping mechanism?

Also... Weasel.. YOU KNOW WHO ELSE IS A WEASEL!? Shit sorry wrong movie.

Its not until now that hes crying because he realizes if he does then no more vanessa. We already know hes very co dependent and many people only care about themselves BECAUSE of other people. Which is also considered a sign of wanting to ☠️ self.

The whole "superheros are all lame ass teachers pets" thing is so funny if you think about how much beef he has with the xmen when in reality I have a feeling Wade would love charles in a "Ugh im in trouble with Daddy wheel chair again." COUGH "old bald heavens gate looking mother fucker" COUGH

"Thats not nice" No. But wade is genuienly not nice either.

"This is embarrassing. Please stop, " Colosus said what we all were thinking.

Bro literally cut/broke off his own hand and didn't whine a single time. If you ever. EVER hear this man express pain it is 99.9% his own choice to let you know that it hurts.

During his changing process, Francis says "the only thing that doesn't survive is a sense of humor" wade says "we'll see about that" and smirks.

What also makes sense to me is that he did NOT break easily. They did test after test after test and this man still wasn't breaking. His spirit is incredibly strong and as much as we enjoy joking about how stupid he is, Wade is extremely resourceful.

Its like he has created an alter ego of humor and kindess in order to keep up with the fact he DOES understand how fucked up this world is and whats happening/happened around him but refuses to acknowledge it until he has too. Ussually for survival.

Ive seen theories that he has DID or a type of Scizophreania and the voices in the comics are obviously in his head. I have mixed feelings about it because even his thoughts have thoughts of their own in some cases. Talking to no one is often a sign of abadonment, esspecially in children who are school age and get lonely when taken from their families to attend school. Its almost as if wade never lost his and hes subconsiously talking to himself to keep himself calm/ from panicking in high stress situations.

"But then how does he know hes in a movie" thats the thing. He doesn't. Hes pretending to cope. Main charaters cant die and until he dies he has this mental show/movie going on to keep himself from realizing all of this is true. That this is reality.

Cunningham mentions breakfast for his kids and suddenly, wade wakes up. Hes not joking anymore. This is a "oh shit... I wanna make breaktsst for my kids too... with my wife vanessa" moment.

"So whats wrong with him?"

Diiiiiddd we all forget about scout master kevin? Uncle? Dad? That fact that the oxygen was physically taken from his brain and was given Co2 poisoning over and over? For multiple days? This is the same man who blew himself up just to escape because they told him he wasnt going to see vanessa again.

And then he fought a guy naked, survived the entire building burning down, and now is so insecure about his looks that he thinks he made the baby cry in the street.

Theres people staring at him, flinching away, called names, people see him and cross the street. (So when he tells Logan that he knows his pain when it comes to public settings, hes not lying)

Blind Al is literally the reason deadpools suit is what it is. Why the idiot thought white was gonna be a good idea- See above. Unlike Al, who could smell the blood/ bleach.

I really love al. She's like the adult Toph.

"I hear everything in this duplex." OH, you poor thing.

"The guy that turned me into this freak-"

Al: *bitch im blind face*

As far as she's aware, he looks normal. Which is beautiful when you think about it, but it's funny when you think about the fact that he's so insecure about his face that he purposly found a blind room mate that couldn't judge him.

And they cuddle while he gets dating advice from grammie 🥹❤️

I really like how the entirety of Sister Margaret's School for Wayward Children (HellHouse in the comics) stood up for Weasel. They're murderers. But they're family.

What they did to vanessa was straight fucked. Her fiance up and leaves without notice, youre just trying to work and live your life, you get kidnapped.

Negasonic is so cool. I love them.

Dopinder (The cab guy) is so cool too. I love him too. Kill that guy in your trunk. "Mr. Pool" reminds me of Tom holland spiderman.

"It is not boy band >:(" Suurreee it isn't.

"Wheres your duffle bag?" You mean his dollar general store tree hello kitty book bag filled with guns?

"Cue the music" *no one even gives a fuck at this point when he talks to the imaginary cams*

Negasonic mid battle: Hold on- "Hey Yukio, yeah I just gotta fuck shit up real quick, ttyl?"

"Sure thing! <3 You go baby!"

I dont know anything about negasonic but she reminds me of Gambit with her energy powers.

Like I said. Hes smart when its a serious situation because he immediately threw his katana into the glass so vanessa could breathe, only to immediately turn sappy and childish again when he sees her stab francis with it. Heart hands, is hallucinating because theres a knife in his brain (literally), sex joke. Etc.

Colossus shut the fuck up. Let this man kill him. He's hurt Soooooo many people. A bullet costs less then a dollar. His amount of therapy alone is going to be like *checks calculations* 80 billion.

"Not the nethers" Wade can and often does show proof of hurting but hed rather cut off his hand then let vanessa punch him in the balls. "Ow- owie 5000"

Hello Hugh Jackman.

After not seeing each other for so longer they instantly go back to the fibbing. "I live in the house with 12"

"You live in a house??" Funny guys get the girls. I should know. My wife says im super funny (yes im in therapy)

Pinky promises really matter to him.

Hes such a silly billy he brought out the phone with their song on it. God what a romantic idiot.

[nora-durst]

i have a list just like arya stark that i recite to myself at night except instead of people i want to kill it's film critics i used to respect who have abandoned me in favor of the m*rvel cinematic universe

[curly-q-reviews]

ROAD TO THE OSCAR MAYER WIENER AWARDS 2K19

Black Panther, 2018 (dir. Ryan Coogler)

Nominated for: Best Original Score, Best Original Song, Best Motion Picture of the Year, Best Costume Design, Best Production Design, Best Sound Editing, Best Sound Mixing

ok y’all lets get this party started with a movie i didnt get to catch in theaters (i think i ended up renting it) but people were absolutely raving about it all of last year, and for good reason i gotta say!  it was one of the better marvel films that came out last year (though in my humble opinion Infinity War takes the gold)

speaking of marvel lets talk about it for a spell!  lets have a lil sit-down chit-chat shall we!!  cause its kind of insane how much of an american media phenomenon marvel has become, they are arguably single-handedly responsible for reviving the superhero movie subgenre and now these types of movies bring hollywood more dineros than they probably know what to do with (besides make more superhero movies).  what used to be a niche market where only your most hardcore of nerdy types dared to dwell has been embraced into the mainstream wholeheartedly, and now its hard to imagine the american film industry without them. 

from a film critique standpoint, marvel movies seem to be a hit-or-miss as far as quality, however i cant really think of a particular marvel movie that i thought was a total piece of hot garbage (the first two Thor movies come close but they were more boring than anything else).  however last year was a real success for the studio, they just kept pumping out quality movies left and right and once disney managed to get its grubby lil mouse paws on Spider-man it was a done deal baby.  DC and other companies have tried again and again to recreate the success that Marvel has managed and so far they’ve failed to various degrees.  Marvel’s just got that special something with their cinematic universe, some magical combo of great actors and creative directors and an ever-expanding budget that keeps them staying at the top every time.

so whats my stance on superhero movies???  well theyre not my usual cup of tea but i gotta say they’re real damn entertaining.  i kinda view them like a high-speed ride at an amusement park, super fun and thrilling and exhilarating and just a real good time!  but thats about as far as it goes for me, and im sure thats the same for a lot of people.  to be honest its kinda refreshing to have movies that quality-wise are up to my standards that i dont have to think too hard about.  so for me the movies i typically go for are like museums, whereas superhero movies (and action movies in general) are like a carnival.  both entertaining and fun, but the latter is just all about letting loose and not wondering about the why’s and how’s.  when i think about it, this kinda mindset is for sure a factor in how these movies got so popular, because with the shitshow that is our current government and the potential imminent death of our planet people are once again looking for movies as a form of escapism, rather than a way to get deep and philosophical and ask the tough questions and see something profound. 

with that being said, despite some exceptions that have proven me wrong to my utter joy and delight (im looking at u Logan), i expect movies that are nominated for wiener awards to be more like museums than like carnivals y’know what i mean?  u catchin my drift???  u takin what im dishin out????  the academy awards have a long history of prestige, of nominating the best of the best of any given year. quite a few movies that won oscars are now considered to be timeless classics.  which is why superhero movies, at least the typical marvel types that are chocked to the brim with CGI and epic massive fight scenes and explosions, dont really strike me as anything that could eventually become a timeless classic.  the amount of computer-generated effects alone will make these movies feel really dated as soon as like five years from now with how fast technology is progressing.  i just dont see it happening.

and that brings us to the first wiener award nominee ill be talking about, Black Panther.  this isnt director Ryan Coogler’s first time at the rodeo; his first feature film Fruitvale Station received critical acclaim in 2013, and the spiritual Rocky sequel Creed actually got nominated for some oscars a few years ago.  so we’ve got a promising and talented director at the helm which is a great start!  we’ve also got a stellar cast with the likes of michael b. jordan (who has been in all of Coogler’s films so far), lupita nyong’o, angela bassett, and forest whitaker in the bunch.  it also has the astronomical financial backing of Supreme Overlord Disney so u know this is gonna be some high-quality shit.

so i’m gonna tell y’all why i think this movie got nominated for so many oscars, because in a way i do think this movie is deserving of noms from the academy.  theres no denying that it is very groundbreaking for a movie of this scale and magnitude to have a black director and a nearly all-black cast.  in fact, i think a lot of the crew members (including set and costume design) were black as well.  thats fuckin huge my guy.  and this movie was by no means a flop either; it ended up being one of the highest-grossing films of 2018 and stayed in theaters for a loooong-ass time.  and not only were the people on this project mostly black, the movie itself is a story praising and showing off the beauty of african culture without exotifying or demeaning it in any way.  like i can say 100% without a doubt that this movie deserves its best costume design nom cause holy shit the outfits in this movie are stunning, just the perfect blend of ancient/current tribal african aesthetics and a more futuristic sleek style that any fashion enthusiast can drool over.

i cant say much about best musical score or best sound mixing or anything like that cause it all seemed like typical marvel stuff to me and wasnt all that memorable.  however i can say that the production design on this movie, while it didnt impress me as much as costuming, did still impress me.  the one thing i gotta knock it on is all the fucken CGI, like whole entire towns and landscapes were digitally rendered.  i wouldve been a lot more impressed and would agree more to the production design nom if they used more practical effects and real sets/locations. 

so.  best picture.  this is where i feel the most conflicted.  cause this is where i now have to look past all the pretty fancy visuals and music and look at the actual meat of this movie, its story and characters.  usually best picture noms also get noms for things like best actress, best script, and best director, cause those are all really important elements of a good film.  ur movie can look and sound as pretty as it wants but if the storys shit and the characters are shit and the actings shit then u dont have much going for u.

and by no means am i saying that Black Panther was shitty in these aspects, it was just well.  passable.  it was ok.  but nothing to write home about

we got some good performances from newcomers letitia wright and chadwick boseman, lupita kills it as always, but then everyone else was like.  okay.  michael b. jordan didnt really do his best in this and idk if its the script’s fault or something but it was weird.  and speaking of the script it was uuuuhhhhh well.  not great.  every time i think about that “what are those” reference i die a little inside.  and the story overall wasnt really anything new when u break it down, just another “son of king struggles to take his place” narrative.  and that aspect of the story couldve actually been more developed into something interesting, i found myself really intrigued with the political scenes.  but there just wasnt enough of that cause they needed to make more room for the PEW PEW POW EXPLOSIONS

granted, movies with lots of shimmer but little substance have been nominated for best picture before (just look at James Cameron’s Avatar which is apparently getting a sequel now????????).  and its not even that this movie is completely devoid of substance cause theres some interesting things going on plot-wise, and some stand-out characters too (shuri is the boss and no one can tell me otherwise).  its just, u know, a good superhero movie.  nothing really profound about the story itself except for the cultural, historical, and social context behind it.

so lemme get back to why i think this movie got a best picture nom.  i think the academy wants to keep up their appearance of being #woke now by continuing to nominate more than one poc-heavy project each year, but they seem to be caring less and less about the actual overall quality of these movies.  and theres even some movies on the noms list that i think actually have what it takes to be a strong oscars contender, like If Beale Street Could Talk and BlacKkKlansmen.  but i think in Black Panther’s case, they were under a lot of pressure to give it top noms (or any noms at all) because of the intensely positive response this movie got, as well as the accusations of racism to people who didnt think it was as great as fans were saying. 

also i have no doubt that Supreme Overlord Disney like threw piles and piles of money at the academy like they tend to do (cause i’d bet good money thats the only fucken way Incredibles 2 got nominated for anything)

well anyway ive gone on long enough about this, lemme know what y’all think.  really the only nom im iffy about when it comes to this movie is Best Picture, but the others i think are well enough deserved, especially costume design.  so i guess the one thing i struggle with is this: does a movie becoming a pop culture phenomenon and being groundbreaking in its cast and crew count as enough for it to be nominated for the top prize of the wiener awards, despite any fallbacks in script, direction, and acting?  idk man im just hoping it doesnt get the award by default or something but then again maybe after watching all the other nominees it may turn out that the rest of them were worse than Black Panther i guess i’ll have to find out

stay tuned for my A Star Is Born review y’all stay fresh and funky eat ur vegetables stay in school u dont need drugs when ur high on life

[writingguide003-blog]

Critics assemble: our writers pick their favorite superhero films

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Critics assemble: our writers pick their favorite superhero films

Batman v Superman v Captain America v all of the X-Men. Which cape-wearing, civilian-saving adventures are worth cheering?

Given the repetitive influx of superhero films in recent years, youd be forgiven for wanting very little to do with anything involving a cape, a mask and a post-credits teaser for a long time. But wait, the R-rated Wolverine sequel Logan hits cinemas this week and critics agree that its worth getting over yourself for.

Many are saying it will join the ranks of the all-time greats but what else should be on this list? Here are seven of the best from Guardian writers.

The Incredibles

Photograph: HO/Reuters

Was 2004 the superheroes annus mirabilis? That was when Marvel Studios initiated its ambitious plan to self-finance its movies, buy back the rights to characters such as Iron Man and the Incredible Hulk, and begin the 21st-century wave of superhero films, hugely popular with the public, but often patronised and dismissed the way westerns used to be.

But something else happened in 2004: the release of Pixars glorious animated superhero homage The Incredibles. Thats a film which doesnt fit easily into the superhero fanbase-constituency, and is part of neither the Marvel nor DC tribe (unless you count the fact that Pixar, like Marvel, is part of Disney). And Im conscious that in calling it a homage I may even now be denying it full superhero-film status. But a brilliant superhero film is what it is riffing on the X-Men and Fantastic Four with superb characters, a great supervillain, a terrific story and a sharp satiric theme on the subject of excellence, and the nature of risk, jeopardy and the state.

Mr Incredible (voiced by Craig T Nelson) is a lantern-jawed, barrel-chested superhero who plies his trade in the 1940s, the superheroes postwar first-generation comic book heyday. He is fighting alongside his fiancee, Elastigirl (Holly Hunter). When a member of the public sues him for preventing his suicide, it triggers a legal nightmare forcing the government to outlaw superheroism and to relocate supers to other cities with new identities and bland normality. Twenty years later, he and Elastigirl have suburban lives and he works in insurance a nightmarish perversion of his former calling. They have two kids whose superpowers they have to conceal at school. But then a new villain emerges with a secret connection to the Incredibles past, forcing them to reclaim their vocation and their destiny.

It is rightly celebrated for the superhero costumire, Edna Mode, voiced by the director and writer, Brad Bird, who thinks that capes are a bad idea and is passionately committed to her contemporary vision: I never look back, darling; it distracts from the now. There is a wonderful passage on the phenomenon of supervillains monologuing huge third-act set-piece speeches in which the villains talk about themselves and their awful vision.

Actually, in 2017, the non-talky streamlined all-action superhero film is pretty much against both capes and monologuing and also against Edna Modes injunction against looking back. Superhero films love origin myths, elaborate retro sequences from the past and all-around ancestor worship.

But as it happens, and incredible as it may sound, The Incredibles has a brilliant action sequence, as exciting as anything in any live-action superhero film or action film. Elastigirl and the two kids are flying in their plane to an island from which the errant Mr Incredible has sent a distress signal. Then she is attacked by rockets. The subsequent chase scene and midair explosion are absolutely nail-biting.

It is witty, smart, visually ravishing, and its generic insights are celebratory, not derisive. What a great superhero film. PB

Batman

Photograph: Allstar/Warner Bros/Sportsphoto Ltd/Allstar

I have to be honest: I am not the worlds biggest superhero movie fan. Put another way, when they took off in the late 80s, I thought they were a fad that would blow over in a few years; more fool me. In fact, the elevation to ever-prolonging ubiquity is one of the great mysteries of contemporary cinema: how this genre, that for years was considered only good for doltish teens, and treated with equivalent lack of respect, has steadily evolved into the mainstay of the global film industry. Be that as it may, I prefer the funny, candy-coloured type of superhero movie (Spider-Man, Thor, Deadpool) rather than the furrowed-brow earnestathons (Batman Begins, Captain America, Man of Steel) Ive never seen a superhero movie weighty or nuanced enough to justify the heavy-duty treatment.

But as films as opposed to moving comic-books superhero movies tend to fall down pretty hard. There are great sequences, brilliant set pieces, very nice shots but they rarely hold together, still less allowing actual narrative subtlety to intrude on the scene-shifting. The first and still, by my reckoning, only time that a superhero movie seemed way ahead of everything else was the first Tim Burton Batman, from 1989. A tour de force of design, cinematography, and cinematic texture, it was light years ahead of (the nevertheless highly enjoyable) Superman films that had blazed the superhero trail in the 1970s and 80s. Burtons brilliance was to make everything else look redundant and in many ways, nothing has changed since. AP

Captain America: The Winter Soldier

Photograph: Moviestore/Rex

Heres a conspiracy theory: someone at the Academy purposefully shuffled those envelopes to detract from the much bigger scandal earlier in the evening: the snubbing of Garry Shandling in this years Oscars In Memoriam montage. I hope my choice of the Marvel movie in which he cameos as a sinister Hydra disciple will go some way to righting this wrong.

Shandlings 15-second appearance in this sequel to the first film featuring the weed who becomes the most fantastic hunk is one of my chief reasons for picking it; the other is its literally the only superhero movie I can ever really remember enjoying.

This is obviously a personal deficit, but perhaps it is, actually, a better superhero movie than most? There are terrific action sequences, for a start: that initial heist, fuelled with sexual tension between the Cap and the Black Widow, plus the most wonderful punch-up in a lift. Plus, vegetables to accompany all that meat and beef: a properly thought-provoking investigation of the morals of surveillance and the ethics of vigilantism in a democratically accountable society.

But perhaps what really clinched it for me as an Avengers movie I could get along with was the relative dearth of Robert Downey Jr. The more you can minimise this man, the more I shall like any movie. CS

Thor: The Dark World

Photograph: Allstar/Marvel Studios/Sportsphoto Ltd/Allstar

Many are hailing Logan for stretching the boundaries of what a superhero movie can be. Its dramatic, fervid, and realistic in its violence. But lets not do away with whats core to comics culture: deep, dank nerdery that ought not be allowed to see daylight.

I love comic books rich in lore and steeped in mythos, swirling in and out of realms with names impossible to spell. Thor: The Dark World stuffs two handfuls of delicious dorkiness into its maw, one rich in fantasy, the other in science fiction. Is the Asgardian bio-bed a quantum field generator or a Soul Forge? The answer, of course, is that it is both.

Thor: The Dark World has portals and Kronan Rock Men and invisible spaceships and a ray that can curl you up into a singularity and zap you into another dimension. A liquid totem called the Aether is almost in Malekith the Dark Elfs nefarious grasp, just in time for the quinquennial cosmic event known as the Convergence. Oh, God, I need to stop typing and grab my asthma inhaler, this sort of talk gets me all worked up.

In the middle of all this, theres the bickering romance between the sharp and sweet doctor played by Natalie Portman and her hunky blonde blue-eyed spaceman, Thor. When they reunite during a battle, the first thing she does is yell at him for never calling. When they visit Thors realm, Dr Foster quickly bonds with Thors mother. They may as well be eating intergalactic coffee cake. And there are still some who say mixed marriages cant work?!?

Thor: The Dark World is a rush of Absolute Comics mainlined direct to my amygdala, with a profound purity that few other modern superhero movies allow themselves. It is Worthy. JH

The Dark Knight

Photograph: Allstar/Warner Bros

While Batman Begins was a refreshingly coherent, mature and dark-hued film about the Caped Crusader (a relief after the eye-punishing gaudy excess of Batman & Robin), it was far from a masterpiece.

There was a major villain problem (a somewhat gimmicky last act switcheroo that didnt quite have the required impact) and a major Katie Holmes problem (needs no explanation) and as a result, it was a promising franchise-restarter but not the home run we might have hoped for. Three years later, Christopher Nolan returned, lessons learned and homework done, with a sequel that rose far above its generic peers and, despite the creation of the hero-packed DC and Marvel universes since, it easily remains unsurpassed.

The Dark Knight moves like a fiendish thriller, one that confidently pushes the boundaries of the superhero genre in a way that comic book fans may be familiar with but which for cinema-goers such as myself was a revelation. Its a breathtakingly brutal film, packed with staggering PG-13 violence and a bleak worldview thats unrelenting, grounding fantastical characters and situations in a world that, for once, is depressingly easy to relate to.

That villain problem? Easily fixed. The casting of Heath Ledger in the role of the Joker might have been initially unpopular with fans, who couldnt envision his leading man looks buried under cartoonish makeup, but his performance was dynamite, an Oscar-winning fireball of anger and anarchy. That Katie Holmes problem? Replaced. Maggie Gyllenhaal added depth and a genuine emotional connection which led to the shocking finale carrying even greater weight. Its one of the rare examples of a superhero film where each devastating act of violence or aggression has a lasting impact. In Nolans Gotham City, life and death both mean something.

It might be to blame for the dreary drudgery thats bogged down many ensuing superhero adventures but it remains a ruthlessly entertaining example of just how daring and necessary the genre can be. BL

Watchmen

Photograph: Clay Enos/Photo by Clay Enos

It may be difficult to credit given Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice recently picked up a gaggle of Razzies, but Zack Snyder was once seen as the coming man of comic book movies. His 2009 adaptation of Alan Moores sprawling graphic novel about an alternative 1980s in which Nixon remains in power and superheroes are real remains a high point of the film-makers career and proof that given a decent script, he is capable of producing eye-popping cinema beyond that of most his contemporaries.

The bravura opening montage, set to the strains of Bob Dylans The Times They Are A Changin, is unequalled in comic book movies. The casting is impeccable: Jackie Earl Haley has never been better than as the hardboiled, morally immovable vigilante Rorschach, a gurning, spitting man out of time whose psychological torment is written on his face whether wearing that famous mask or not. Patrick Wilson is wonderfully understated as the taciturn Nite Owl, a superhero who looks like an accountant with middle-aged spread, while Jeffrey Dean Morgan is perfect as the leering, sneering, cigar-smoking alpha male scumbag the Comedian, a role which surely won him the part of the villain Negan in The Walking Dead.

Naysayers argue that Watchmen is too close to its source material, bar a sensibly altered denouement. But Moores story is so epic in scale and splendid in its unexpectedly detailed rendering of the inner psyches of costumed crimefighters that Snyder was really only required to add visual flare. If there is a Citizen Kane of superhero movies, this is indisputably it. BC

X-Men: Days of Future Past

Photograph: Allstar/20th Century Fox

The best thing about this time traveling entry into the vast annals of X-Men history is the absolute disregard Bryan Singer had for newcomers. If you hadnt been paying attention to his line of mutant entertainment over the last decade or so, youd feel a bit like Kyle Reese being spat out into 1984 with no clothes and no idea what was happening. That slightly manic pace, which feels like its borrowed from a daytime soap opera, plus the period costume and references to Vietnam, Nixon and the height of 70s cold war paranoia made this a strangely daring superhero film.

Instead of something that tried to set out the basic idea of what the X-Men were and what they were all about a concept most grandmothers could probably grasp by now this just got straight into the internal machinations of a group that makes the EU look harmonious. Of course, the old themes of good and evil doing battle, and overcoming personal demons (in this case addiction for Professor X) are there, but it was delivered in a knowingly strange way. You could even argue the hectic feel and funny but slightly smug lines set the stage for the least superhero-y superhero of them all, Deadpool. Singer knew fans were au fait with the concept of time travel, and would love to see Magneto and Professor X as their younger selves, so he threw it all into a blender and Days of Future Past came out like a perfectly mixed bit of superhero bechamel. LB

Read more: http://www.theguardian.com/us

[courtneysmovieblog]

Top 10 Worst Superhero Movies Ever

We’re finally in the homestretch for Avengers: Infinity War!  It’s a movie that that’s never been both anticipated and dreaded by the fans.  What will happen, who will live, who will die -- none of us have any clue.

This could either make or break the Marvelverse.  But even if it somehow fails expectations, I think (hope) it’s safe to bet that it can’t possibly be any worse than the crappiest superhero movies we’ve endured:

1. Batman and Robin: Rot in hell, Joel Schumacher.

2. Superman Returns: The only part worth watching was the opening credits that paid tribute to the old movies with John Williams’ classic theme.  Don’t even waste your time with the rest.

3. Spider-Man 3: You want to know why Spider-Man kept getting a reboot?  It’s because of this piece of shit movie.  It also teaches a valuable lessons never thrown in too many villains in one movie.

4. Batman vs. Superman: Dawn of Justice: In many ways, this movie was a perfect allegory for the DC franchise: everything sucked until Wonder Woman stepped it.

5. Superman IV: Quest for Peace: We didn’t think anything could suck worse than Superman III.  Clearly, the filmmakers were up to the challenge.

6. Daredevil: Hard to believe that a crappy movie with Ben Affleck could be salvaged into an awesome Netflix show.

7. X-Men: The Last Stand: At this point, the writers must have just went, “Screw the plot, let’s just kill off a bunch of characters.  People will pay to see anyway.”

8. Catwoman: This is exactly how NOT to make a female superhero movie.  Props to Halle Berry for having a sense of humor about it.

9. X-Men Origins: Wolverine: Unlike many superhero trilogies, the first Wolverine turned out to be the worst one.  Then The Wolverine got slightly better, and then we finally got the best one with Logan.

10. Suicide Squad: Just like the tagline says, Worst Heroes Ever.  Though it did give us a few entertaining moments. 

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Critics assemble: our writers pick their favorite superhero films

Batman v Superman v Captain America v all of the X-Men. Which cape-wearing, civilian-saving adventures are worth cheering?

Given the repetitive influx of superhero films in recent years, youd be forgiven for wanting very little to do with anything involving a cape, a mask and a post-credits teaser for a long time. But wait, the R-rated Wolverine sequel Logan hits cinemas this week and critics agree that its worth getting over yourself for.

Many are saying it will join the ranks of the all-time greats but what else should be on this list? Here are seven of the best from Guardian writers.

The Incredibles

Photograph: HO/Reuters

Was 2004 the superheroes annus mirabilis? That was when Marvel Studios initiated its ambitious plan to self-finance its movies, buy back the rights to characters such as Iron Man and the Incredible Hulk, and begin the 21st-century wave of superhero films, hugely popular with the public, but often patronised and dismissed the way westerns used to be.

But something else happened in 2004: the release of Pixars glorious animated superhero homage The Incredibles. Thats a film which doesnt fit easily into the superhero fanbase-constituency, and is part of neither the Marvel nor DC tribe (unless you count the fact that Pixar, like Marvel, is part of Disney). And Im conscious that in calling it a homage I may even now be denying it full superhero-film status. But a brilliant superhero film is what it is riffing on the X-Men and Fantastic Four with superb characters, a great supervillain, a terrific story and a sharp satiric theme on the subject of excellence, and the nature of risk, jeopardy and the state.

Mr Incredible (voiced by Craig T Nelson) is a lantern-jawed, barrel-chested superhero who plies his trade in the 1940s, the superheroes postwar first-generation comic book heyday. He is fighting alongside his fiancee, Elastigirl (Holly Hunter). When a member of the public sues him for preventing his suicide, it triggers a legal nightmare forcing the government to outlaw superheroism and to relocate supers to other cities with new identities and bland normality. Twenty years later, he and Elastigirl have suburban lives and he works in insurance a nightmarish perversion of his former calling. They have two kids whose superpowers they have to conceal at school. But then a new villain emerges with a secret connection to the Incredibles past, forcing them to reclaim their vocation and their destiny.

It is rightly celebrated for the superhero costumire, Edna Mode, voiced by the director and writer, Brad Bird, who thinks that capes are a bad idea and is passionately committed to her contemporary vision: I never look back, darling; it distracts from the now. There is a wonderful passage on the phenomenon of supervillains monologuing huge third-act set-piece speeches in which the villains talk about themselves and their awful vision.

Actually, in 2017, the non-talky streamlined all-action superhero film is pretty much against both capes and monologuing and also against Edna Modes injunction against looking back. Superhero films love origin myths, elaborate retro sequences from the past and all-around ancestor worship.

But as it happens, and incredible as it may sound, The Incredibles has a brilliant action sequence, as exciting as anything in any live-action superhero film or action film. Elastigirl and the two kids are flying in their plane to an island from which the errant Mr Incredible has sent a distress signal. Then she is attacked by rockets. The subsequent chase scene and midair explosion are absolutely nail-biting.

It is witty, smart, visually ravishing, and its generic insights are celebratory, not derisive. What a great superhero film. PB

Batman

Photograph: Allstar/Warner Bros/Sportsphoto Ltd/Allstar

I have to be honest: I am not the worlds biggest superhero movie fan. Put another way, when they took off in the late 80s, I thought they were a fad that would blow over in a few years; more fool me. In fact, the elevation to ever-prolonging ubiquity is one of the great mysteries of contemporary cinema: how this genre, that for years was considered only good for doltish teens, and treated with equivalent lack of respect, has steadily evolved into the mainstay of the global film industry. Be that as it may, I prefer the funny, candy-coloured type of superhero movie (Spider-Man, Thor, Deadpool) rather than the furrowed-brow earnestathons (Batman Begins, Captain America, Man of Steel) Ive never seen a superhero movie weighty or nuanced enough to justify the heavy-duty treatment.

But as films as opposed to moving comic-books superhero movies tend to fall down pretty hard. There are great sequences, brilliant set pieces, very nice shots but they rarely hold together, still less allowing actual narrative subtlety to intrude on the scene-shifting. The first and still, by my reckoning, only time that a superhero movie seemed way ahead of everything else was the first Tim Burton Batman, from 1989. A tour de force of design, cinematography, and cinematic texture, it was light years ahead of (the nevertheless highly enjoyable) Superman films that had blazed the superhero trail in the 1970s and 80s. Burtons brilliance was to make everything else look redundant and in many ways, nothing has changed since. AP

Captain America: The Winter Soldier

Photograph: Moviestore/Rex

Heres a conspiracy theory: someone at the Academy purposefully shuffled those envelopes to detract from the much bigger scandal earlier in the evening: the snubbing of Garry Shandling in this years Oscars In Memoriam montage. I hope my choice of the Marvel movie in which he cameos as a sinister Hydra disciple will go some way to righting this wrong.

Shandlings 15-second appearance in this sequel to the first film featuring the weed who becomes the most fantastic hunk is one of my chief reasons for picking it; the other is its literally the only superhero movie I can ever really remember enjoying.

This is obviously a personal deficit, but perhaps it is, actually, a better superhero movie than most? There are terrific action sequences, for a start: that initial heist, fuelled with sexual tension between the Cap and the Black Widow, plus the most wonderful punch-up in a lift. Plus, vegetables to accompany all that meat and beef: a properly thought-provoking investigation of the morals of surveillance and the ethics of vigilantism in a democratically accountable society.

But perhaps what really clinched it for me as an Avengers movie I could get along with was the relative dearth of Robert Downey Jr. The more you can minimise this man, the more I shall like any movie. CS

Thor: The Dark World

Photograph: Allstar/Marvel Studios/Sportsphoto Ltd/Allstar

Many are hailing Logan for stretching the boundaries of what a superhero movie can be. Its dramatic, fervid, and realistic in its violence. But lets not do away with whats core to comics culture: deep, dank nerdery that ought not be allowed to see daylight.

I love comic books rich in lore and steeped in mythos, swirling in and out of realms with names impossible to spell. Thor: The Dark World stuffs two handfuls of delicious dorkiness into its maw, one rich in fantasy, the other in science fiction. Is the Asgardian bio-bed a quantum field generator or a Soul Forge? The answer, of course, is that it is both.

Thor: The Dark World has portals and Kronan Rock Men and invisible spaceships and a ray that can curl you up into a singularity and zap you into another dimension. A liquid totem called the Aether is almost in Malekith the Dark Elfs nefarious grasp, just in time for the quinquennial cosmic event known as the Convergence. Oh, God, I need to stop typing and grab my asthma inhaler, this sort of talk gets me all worked up.

In the middle of all this, theres the bickering romance between the sharp and sweet doctor played by Natalie Portman and her hunky blonde blue-eyed spaceman, Thor. When they reunite during a battle, the first thing she does is yell at him for never calling. When they visit Thors realm, Dr Foster quickly bonds with Thors mother. They may as well be eating intergalactic coffee cake. And there are still some who say mixed marriages cant work?!?

Thor: The Dark World is a rush of Absolute Comics mainlined direct to my amygdala, with a profound purity that few other modern superhero movies allow themselves. It is Worthy. JH

The Dark Knight

Photograph: Allstar/Warner Bros

While Batman Begins was a refreshingly coherent, mature and dark-hued film about the Caped Crusader (a relief after the eye-punishing gaudy excess of Batman & Robin), it was far from a masterpiece.

There was a major villain problem (a somewhat gimmicky last act switcheroo that didnt quite have the required impact) and a major Katie Holmes problem (needs no explanation) and as a result, it was a promising franchise-restarter but not the home run we might have hoped for. Three years later, Christopher Nolan returned, lessons learned and homework done, with a sequel that rose far above its generic peers and, despite the creation of the hero-packed DC and Marvel universes since, it easily remains unsurpassed.

The Dark Knight moves like a fiendish thriller, one that confidently pushes the boundaries of the superhero genre in a way that comic book fans may be familiar with but which for cinema-goers such as myself was a revelation. Its a breathtakingly brutal film, packed with staggering PG-13 violence and a bleak worldview thats unrelenting, grounding fantastical characters and situations in a world that, for once, is depressingly easy to relate to.

That villain problem? Easily fixed. The casting of Heath Ledger in the role of the Joker might have been initially unpopular with fans, who couldnt envision his leading man looks buried under cartoonish makeup, but his performance was dynamite, an Oscar-winning fireball of anger and anarchy. That Katie Holmes problem? Replaced. Maggie Gyllenhaal added depth and a genuine emotional connection which led to the shocking finale carrying even greater weight. Its one of the rare examples of a superhero film where each devastating act of violence or aggression has a lasting impact. In Nolans Gotham City, life and death both mean something.

It might be to blame for the dreary drudgery thats bogged down many ensuing superhero adventures but it remains a ruthlessly entertaining example of just how daring and necessary the genre can be. BL

Watchmen

Photograph: Clay Enos/Photo by Clay Enos

It may be difficult to credit given Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice recently picked up a gaggle of Razzies, but Zack Snyder was once seen as the coming man of comic book movies. His 2009 adaptation of Alan Moores sprawling graphic novel about an alternative 1980s in which Nixon remains in power and superheroes are real remains a high point of the film-makers career and proof that given a decent script, he is capable of producing eye-popping cinema beyond that of most his contemporaries.

The bravura opening montage, set to the strains of Bob Dylans The Times They Are A Changin, is unequalled in comic book movies. The casting is impeccable: Jackie Earl Haley has never been better than as the hardboiled, morally immovable vigilante Rorschach, a gurning, spitting man out of time whose psychological torment is written on his face whether wearing that famous mask or not. Patrick Wilson is wonderfully understated as the taciturn Nite Owl, a superhero who looks like an accountant with middle-aged spread, while Jeffrey Dean Morgan is perfect as the leering, sneering, cigar-smoking alpha male scumbag the Comedian, a role which surely won him the part of the villain Negan in The Walking Dead.

Naysayers argue that Watchmen is too close to its source material, bar a sensibly altered denouement. But Moores story is so epic in scale and splendid in its unexpectedly detailed rendering of the inner psyches of costumed crimefighters that Snyder was really only required to add visual flare. If there is a Citizen Kane of superhero movies, this is indisputably it. BC

X-Men: Days of Future Past

Photograph: Allstar/20th Century Fox

The best thing about this time traveling entry into the vast annals of X-Men history is the absolute disregard Bryan Singer had for newcomers. If you hadnt been paying attention to his line of mutant entertainment over the last decade or so, youd feel a bit like Kyle Reese being spat out into 1984 with no clothes and no idea what was happening. That slightly manic pace, which feels like its borrowed from a daytime soap opera, plus the period costume and references to Vietnam, Nixon and the height of 70s cold war paranoia made this a strangely daring superhero film.

Instead of something that tried to set out the basic idea of what the X-Men were and what they were all about a concept most grandmothers could probably grasp by now this just got straight into the internal machinations of a group that makes the EU look harmonious. Of course, the old themes of good and evil doing battle, and overcoming personal demons (in this case addiction for Professor X) are there, but it was delivered in a knowingly strange way. You could even argue the hectic feel and funny but slightly smug lines set the stage for the least superhero-y superhero of them all, Deadpool. Singer knew fans were au fait with the concept of time travel, and would love to see Magneto and Professor X as their younger selves, so he threw it all into a blender and Days of Future Past came out like a perfectly mixed bit of superhero bechamel. LB

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from Critics assemble: our writers pick their favorite superhero films

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What are The Snooty Ushers looking forward to most in 2017?

2016 is well and truly in the rear view mirror now, and as the New Year haze is slowly clearing we are ready to stride into 2017 with renewed vigour. And what films should you pencil into your brand new calendars and diaries? Dan has already looked at a few films that might fly under the radar in 2017 here, the best upcoming horrors here, and some of this year’s riskier films here, but right here is where you can find our Most Anticipated Films of 2017!

(NB All release dates mentioned are the latest information on the planned UK releases, and are subject to change)

10. Thor: Ragnarok (Taika Waititi) Release Date: 27th October

James: This is all about the director. Taika Waititi has made two great films in What We Do In The Shadows and Hunt For The Wilderpeople, and the thought of what he could do in the Marvel Cinematic Universe is tantalising.

9. Trainspotting 2 (Danny Boyle) Release Date: 27th January

Dave: As a Scotsman and a product of the 90s, Trainspotting was huge for me.  I loved how it took a group of pretty despicable characters and made you care about them.  I was 19 when this was in the cinema and I saw 4 times and 100 more since.  I have read the book twice and seen it on stage.  I can not wait to see what has happened to these characters over the last 20 years.  I am happy that Boyle has gone his own way rather that adapt Welsh’s lukewarm follow up novel Porno.  We have waited long enough for this, I am positive it will be worth it.

8. Paddington 2 (Paul King) Release Date: 24th November

James: Paddington is a heart warming family film that leaves you feeling all warm and fuzzy. The chance to visit the bear from Peru again can’t come soon enough!

No trailer yet for Paddington 2, so here’s the trailer for the first.

7. Star Wars: Episode VIII (Rian Johnson) Release Date: 15th December

Welshy:  People will reminisce  in 30 years time and say “it was the best in the series”. Hand to god,  this will be our generation’s Empire Strikes Back.

No trailer yer, but here’s a trailer for the joyful The Force Awakens

6. Spider-Man: Homecoming (John Watts) Release Date: 7th July

Rich: Spider-Man joins the Marvel Cinematic Universe again for his first Marvel Studios solo movie, Spider-Man: Homecoming. The trailer is bursting with classic Spider-man quips and action, but it also shows you just enough of the characters and villains to keep a little bit of mystery about the plot .Directed by Jon Watts who directed hidden gem Cop Car it looks like he’s paid attention to some faults of previous Spidey instalments and is giving us a lot of things we haven’t seen before in this one. Lets hope the franchise can find new heights and stick around for years to come. Also go and watch Cop Car, it’s brilliant!

5. Alien: Covenant (Ridley Scott) Release Date: 19th May

Rich: Sir Ridley Scott is reunited with his baby, the Alien franchise which he helped create in 1979. It’s been tough going for this film franchise and its numerous directors and sequels, but I feel none came close to recreating what Sir Ridley Scott had done. Obviously the attempted reboot in Prometheus (2012) was a bit hit or miss with audiences but Scott seems determined to win back our trust with this glorious trailer which is dripping with the Alien style and aesthetic. Scott seems set on still fleshing out the universe but also returning to his roots of bloody and terrifying. Check out the trailer below and see what I mean.

4. John Wick: Chapter 2 (Chad Stahelski) Release Date: 10th February

Dan: Good lord was John Wick one of the best action films released in the past 10 years, and one that pretty much came out of nowhere. Who would have thought a film, starring Keanu Reeves, about a former hitman and his dog would be such an entertaining action packed watch. Not only did Reeves do brilliantly, the first brought us fresh directing talent, one of whom has been rewarded with Deadpool 2. John Wick only scratched the surface of this potentially massive underworld of criminals, assassins and hotels, and I for one can’t wait to see how they follow it up.

3. Logan (James Mangold) Release Date: 2nd March

Welshy: So here we are at the end of the line for the Ol’ Canucklehead. Well, for Hugh Jackman anyway. Having had a rocky start with his abysmal first solo outing, then gaining  great momentum in his second we reach the third and final chapter. Now oh sweet Mary the source material this is based on is one of the most glorious narratives ever put to seven panels and thirteen pages. It looks like they are going all out with this final instalment, James Mangold has learned from The Wolverine and now will showcase the best there is at what he does. Just Watch.

2. Blade Runner 2049 (Denis Villenuve) Release Date: 6th Ocotber

Dave: Forget Star Wars and Superheroes, this is what 2017 is about for me.  Blade Runner is one of my favourite films of all time.  Now, normally I would be sceptical about a belated sequel and when it was first mooted I dismissed it out of hand, then along came Denis Villenueve, he is one of the most exciting and promising directors working today.  Ryan Gosling most definitely has the talent to carry any film and then there is the returning Harrison Ford.  The teaser looks like they have nailed the feel of the original.  Here is hoping.

1. Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 (James Gunn) Release Date: 28th April

Dan: As a fan of James Gunn with his work on Super, and Slither, I was intrigued by the first Guardians of the Galaxy. Then the trailer hit and I just knew it would be special. Watching it in the cinema was the best experience I’ve had watching a Sci-Fi film since my mother took me to see the re-releases of Star Wars: Episodes IV-VI when I was younger, if not better. I’ve never been this excited for a film for as long as I can remember, I’m actually more excited than I was for Star Wars: The Force Awakens.

  And that is our Top 10 – let us know what you are looking forward to in 2017! For more upcoming 2017 releases, check out the upcoming horrors of 2017, the 10 films to keep you eye on in 2017, and the riskiest films of 2017.

Until next time, stay gold, Ponyboy, stay gold. See you soonish.

PS As a special treat for reading all the way to the end, here are our individual Top 10 lists:

James 1. Blade Runner 2049 – Come on. I was looking forward to this before I saw Sicario. Then Arrival was amazing. In Villeneuve we trust. 2. Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 – Can they capture lightning in a bottle again? 3. Paddington 2 – One of the most charming films in years gets a sequel. 4. War For the Planet Of The Apes – After two amazing films I’m pumped for another! 5. Logan –His scene in X Men: Apocolypse was the best thing in it, and the trailer looks epic. Time to say goodbye to one of the best characters we have seen 6. John Wick: Chapter 2 – Will this be a Raid 2 style upgrade or a Taken 2 style retread? I imagine a bigger budget, but will it work again? 7. Thor: Ragnorak – Man, I just love What We Do In The Shadows and Hunt For The Wilderpeople 8. Dark Tower – Years of expectation means I can’t get my hopes up too much. But still… 9. Kingsman: The Golden Circle – Manners. Maketh. Man. 10. The LEGO Batman Movie – Yes, I AM still a 7 year old, so what?

Split – M. Night Shymalan’s comeback? Alien: Covenant – Prometheus has dulled my expectations of being blown away by this, but on re-watches that is an interesting movie. Kong: Skull Island – Godzilla? Justice League/Wonder Woman Spider-Man: Homecoming Star Wars: Episode VIII: Pressure is on, will need to stand on it own (can’t rely on nostalgia like The Force Awakens) but Looper is a great movie (and those episodes of Breaking Bad), so I have faith in Rian Johnson

Dan

Guardians of the Galaxy, Vol 2

Logan

Alien: Covenant –

It

John Wick 2

Blade Runner 2049

The Dark Tower

Star Wars: Episode VIII

Soldado

Ghost in the Shell

Dave

Blade Runner 2049 – Best director working today, a classic in waiting

Trainspotting 2 – cant’t wait to see these characters again

Guardians of The Galaxy 2 – More of the same please…

John Wick 2 – I could watch Keanu play this character all day long

Murder on The Orient Express �� I love a murder mystery, just check the cast

Logan – Old Man Logan! Or as close as we will ever get on the big screen

Soldado – just watch Sicario and you will see why this is on the list

Alien Covenant – back to its horror roots?  Can’t be as bad as Prometheus right?

Paddington 2 – First one was a delight, Whishaw’s vocal performance was spot on

Despicable Me 3 – These movies are just fun.  Trey Parker’s villain looks a hoot.

The Mummy, Live By Night, Episode VIII, The Six Million Dollar Man, Lego Batman, Sing, King Arthur, Baywatch, Pitch Perfect 3

Welshy – Mine is very comic heavy

Star Wars episode 8

Logan

Guardians Of The Galaxy Vol. 2

Spiderman Homecoming

Power Rangers

Thor 3 Ragnarok

Wonder Woman

Justice League

Blade Runner 2049

The Coldest City

Rich

Alien: Covenant – come on… seems like its going back to its roots which is great

Spider-man: Homecoming – lets hope it skips the origin story

Eyes of the Mother – artsy, moody horror flick

Bladerunner 2049 – Trailer is dripping with style

Ghost in the Shell – big fan of the original anime

John Wick Chapter 2 – more shooty shooty

Baywatch – The Rock and Zac Efron!

Guardians of the Galaxy Vol.2

Justice League – It has to succeed, right?

Dark Tower – Will this even release in 2017?

2017 is full of blockbusters, sequels and franchises, but what films are The Snooty Ushers looking forward to most? What are The Snooty Ushers looking forward to most in 2017?