#the only time i go back to my highschool is for wakes now. im only 28. im tired

[hofftrans]

One of the ongoing autistic experiences I have in my life is the whole "this is what my life is like, so I assume this is what everyone's life is like and it's just the human condition" and then not evidence checking that for far too long. Like obvs not something I let myself do re political and human rights issues like I understand there that my privellage plays a huge role in my view of life.

But it's more like the personal stuff or childhood stuff. Like a light-hearted example was me telling my mate recently about how I wished I could lucid dream and then after I explained my dreams to her she just delivered the "oh my sweet angel that is 100% lucid dreaming" and it turns out I thought everyone just has like a large control over their dreams (I had thought lucid dreaming meant absolute control)

Less light-hearted is my experiences with death and losing loved ones. Bc I assumed everyone by like 30 must have already had almost double digits of loved ones dying but I was chatting to a group of mates recently and was so surprised to hear how many had never lost a human loved one and had only lost pets (not to diminish that huge amount of grief, I had just expected people has lost human loved ones too)

Again this isn't like grief competitiveness or anything it's more just that I keep constantly assuming that my life has been v average with a few outlier moments bc my autistic ass just goes "well idk how anything 'should' be like or feel so this must just be the human experience that everyone has" and I need to remind myself that the amount of grief I carry is unique and something I need to treat with care and empathy and support towards myself for

[starringthesturniolos]

bite me(part 6)-Matt Sturniolo

part 1, part 2, part 3, part 4, part 5, part 6

summary: matt hates your guts but all of that changes when he wakes up and finds out your his mate.

contains: vampire!matt x reader, highschool au! (18 years old), dark themes, death, smut (not in this part)

A/N- THIS CHAPTER IS KINDA SAD but y'all will be alright, trust. a lot of violence in this chapter so by all means if that is not your thing please don't read. I want everyone that reads this to ENJOY it. love yall, bye!

matts pov.

the drive back to my house was silent. even with my heightened sense of hearing, I could only hear the sound of our breathing and the quiet hum of my engine. two minutes ago, she had been crying and I saw into the darkness that was her life. key word, was. between the protection spell and me, no one is ever going to hurt her again. a dark thought pops into my head, and ,unlike any other time, I welcome it with open arms.

"do you want him dead?" I mutter, letting the thought free. I said It quietly, but it sounded like I might as well have screamed compared to the quiet of my car. it made my skin crawl and judging by the look on her face, it made her's crawl too. "what is that supposed to mean??" she whips her head to me with fear in her eyes. merciful. I added that to a list of chracteristics that y/n had that I subconsciously accumulated in my own head. even though he hurt her in the worst ways, she'd never want anyone to lay a finger on him.

"he's my dad, matt!" she panics taking my lack of response as a promise that I would go back to her house and finish him off. I put one arm up in defense. "I was just asking. you panic too much, someone should go check your blood pressure.Jesus." I scoff, playing it off as if I wouldn't have gotten rid of him the moment she told she wanted me too.

she slumped back in her seat, clearly relieved. its right then that I notice the dark circles under her eyes. she's tired, and humans need rest. "go to sleep, you look like shit." I quip. if she were in her right mind, she probably would have said something back. instead she brings her knees into her chest and puts her head on the window. her eyes close and in a few minutes her breathing and heart rate slow. she's asleep and my eyes stay on the rough, pot - hole infested road. all the way home, I dodge the holes so she sleeps fine.

unreasonable fear hits my chest at my own actions. when did you start to care so much? is the question I ask myself as I gently lift her sleeping form into my arms to bring her into the house.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

y/n is in the other room, and I wake up to my phone buzzing incessantly. I pick up my phone to see that nick is calling me. "he disappears off the face of the earth for two days and all of a sudden he wants to chit chat at the crack of dawn", I think to myself before smashing the accept call button in annoyance. "what?" my gruff voice answers in a more than grumpy tone.

"I need you to come to meet me, now! I'll send you my location. do not bring anyone with you, and do not to take your sweet ass time either matt." he says seriously. I can hear in his voice he is fighting to keep himself from sounding panicked. sensing the danger he's in, worry surges through me, and I can't help but wonder what he's gotten himself into. "don't worry nick, im coming." I say back just as seriously before hanging up the phone and rushing out the house.

I drive over as fast as I can to the unknown spot. it's just a clearing of trees and grass where two cars are parked side by side. ones nicks' and the other is someone's I don't recognize. I hop out of the car quick on high alert. nick where are you??

"you think you can just take my daughter and get away with it. I'm sorry son, but you're in for a real treat." says a terrifying voice that-unless god forbid I took another girl to my house tonight- could only be y/n's fathers’. I turn slowly to see him, a tall, burly man. he's holding nick close too him, a knife pressed lightly against the sensitive skin of his neck. regulary, I would look at this and shrug, vampires aren't supposed to be able to die. but nick's neck is bleeding from where the knife lightly grazes him. vampires can make other people bleed, but they themselves can't bleed, at least that's how it's supposed to be. even though the wound wasn't deep enough to be lethal, the wound itself was the problem to begin with. All thoughts aside, I lunge forward to grab nick away from the man but he dodges with unnatural speed. he smells human, but he's quick, too quick, which can only mean one thing.

y/n's dad is a fucking lunatic magic user, and, based on the position he's got me and nick in right now , he's a damn strong one too.

he throws nick to the side right then, and nick flops to the floor gasping for breath and clutching his bleeding throat. I freeze in fear for what's happened to nick. for what is going to happen to me. he waves the same knife he had pressed against nick at me in tauntingly cold, cut motions.

"matt, run" nick says weakly. my feet listen to nick's instructions, and I turn to bolt, only to find the powerful magic user right in front of me in an instant. before I can react, he plunges the knife into my stomach in three quick motions. unbearable pain laces through me and I feel something coming that I never thought I'd ever have to experience. that something is death.

"should of asked for a protection spell yourself." he lets out a cold, hard laugh as I drop to the floor slipping into an abyss of darkness.

@bbernard-03

@sturnthepot

@hoeformatt

@sturtriple16

@faygo-frog

@sturniol0s

@katie-tibo

@cindylcuwho

@I34n

@chrissv4amp

@sturnslimited 

[angels-fantasy]

Girl let me just say your fics are superb and thanks for the quirkless child one I requested with Bakugou! I promise I’ll leave you be for a bit in a second, but… post final war; everyone who has came out alive clearly is suffering from injuries, health issues, and trauma (both physical trauma and mental trauma) no? So how about a Bakugou x Reader with a reader who was essentially Bubbly, Firery and Energetic, to after the war who is exhausted, is often having nightmares over Bakugou cause well he nearly died, sleep deprived and basically depressed because I can guarantee nobody should be sane after a war, especially not children like our lovely highschoolers. Please make it angst to comfort, because seeing how Bakugou also has developed I’m sure as sad as he would be he would also be understanding and try to be comforting (despite his awkwardness). I’d appreciate if you could get this done to be as close as possible (and maybe just a little long than the one I requested last time- no pressure) BUT if anything you find in my request may be too triggering or something feel free to make it less triggering and change it, I just ask if you can keep the same vibe and theme with the reader who changed drastically after the wars and is getting comforted by Bakugou, Angst to comfort (duh), thank you so much, and I hope I’m not troubling you too much! — An anon who enjoys suffering, angst, and comfort ((SAC) Anon); (get it? Suffering, Angst, Comfort, SAC, wait that has a good ring to it, damn I have a new alias, I’ll shut up now)

I'm Okay, As Long as He's Here (Request)

Katsuki Bakugou x Reader

Details/Warnings: reader has a panic attack and nightmares!! pls be weary of this. angst to fluff, well, my attempt at angst lol

Word Count: 1k

thank you for your request and the support :D it means a lot to me 🩷 btw don't ever feel like you're bothering me or like you need to leave me alone! i like talking to everyone :) also this is a good little plot, but im not the best at writing angst but this is helping me improve i think, so please tell me how i did! i really hope you like it SAC anon hahah

Before the war, you were a different person. Looking at you now, no one would ever guess you were once a bubbly, out going person. But Katsuki knew you were, and sometimes, he missed the old you.

It was hard to watch you wake up crying in the middle of the night from your horrible nightmares of the war. Some being about his near death experience, and others being about him dying in other ways.

Some nights, you didn't sleep at all, and it was really showing.

"Hey, keep your head up. I don't want you to fall asleep." Katsuki said. It was already months after the war, so you were all back at school, but you were one of the few students that was struggling the most.

He definitely has his struggles too, but he knew he had to be there for you, because yours were much worse.

You opened your eyes wider, trying your best to stay awake. "Sorry. I couldn't sleep last night."

"You havin' nightmares again?"

You nodded, he sighed.

"Come sleep in my dorm tonight. You sleep better with me and you know it."

You agreed and continued trying your best to stay awake for the rest of the day. Occasionally, Katsuki would have to wake you up or remind you to stay awake. The lack of sleep made it hard to focus, especially in Hero Training. Thankfully, Mr. Aizawa and the rest of the teachers were understanding of the students who were struggling.

Once school was over it felt like a weight was lifted off of your shoulders. You knew you had homework to do, but right now you'd rather sleep. Or at least attempt to. Since you were going to be with Katsuki tonight, you were probably only going to have one nightmare. Plus, he'd be there to comfort you.

Following your boyfriend to his dorm room, you immediately changed into some of your clothes that he had there for you, and then laid down on his bed.

For a while, you just silently watched him as he sat at his desk and did his homework, something you should also be doing.

"What're you starin' at?"

You smiled, but not as brightly as before, "I'm just admiring you."

He huffed, "Good, I'm awesome."

Rolling your eyes, you said, "And there he is."

He laughed and continued doing his homework. You just continued watching him, because it was something that comforted you. It was a reminder that he was okay and alive.

Knowing he was safe right in front of you, you fell asleep.

...

You didn't know what time it was, but it must've been late since the room you were in was dark.

You clutched your chest as you sat up in bed and breathed heavily, feeling tears prick your eyes.

Of course, you had another nightmare again. This one in particular was about Katsuki, and he was in the arms of Shigaraki. You saw the villain use his Decay quirk on him, and your boyfriend began to crumble away but you were paralyzed in your dream. There was nothing you could do.

The nightmare felt so real and so scary, like they usually do. You felt so helpless and scared. The evil that emitted from Shigaraki and All For One was something you'd always remember.

You subconsciously began to rock yourself back and forth and made self soothing noises as you continued to have a panic attack. They never got easier, or less scary as time went on. It always felt like you were going to die.

Your panic must've woke Katsuki up, because you suddenly heard his voice calling out to you.

"Hey, hey! Breathe baby, you gotta breathe." He said.

You shook your head, "I-I can't! It hurts. I'm scared, I'm gonna die!"

He carefully grabbed your hands and held them in his. He took one of them and brought it to his chest near his heart so you could feel it beat.

"What is my heart doing right now?" He asked. This was a method he used to ground you during these situations, especially because he knew how you felt about him and his safety.

You looked at his chest, "Beating. Your heart is beating."

"Right. Now what do you feel here?" He asked, now placing a hand on the blanket that was on top of you guys.

"The blanket."

"What does it feel like?"

"It's soft and fluffy."

As he continued distracting you from your panic, you eventually calmed down. You were still crying a bit, but he held you in his arms as you let it out.

"He killed you Katsuki. I was so scared, and I couldn't do anything!" You cried into his chest.

He rubbed your back, "You know that shit isn't real, no matter how real it feels. I'm right here living and breathing. I'm safe, okay?"

You nodded and sniffed, "Okay." You placed a hand on his chest over his heart and felt it beat, the steady rhythm of it comforting you.

Katsuki grabbed that hand and kissed the palm of it, "Love you. I'll be here all night, 'kay?"

"I love you too. Thank you."

"It's no problem."

The next morning, you felt more rested than usual. It must've been because you only had one nightmare, which was an improvement.

You noticed you woke up before your boyfriend, so you just let him sleep a little longer while you got on with your morning routine. You had a lot of your own things in his room, including an extra toothbrush which you were thankful for.

When he eventually woke up, he walked over to you and hugged you tightly.

"You feelin' okay?" He asked.

You nodded as best as you could in his tight grip, "Mhm."

"Be honest."

"I am! I feel a lot better than last night." You insisted as you pulled away slightly, still keeping your arms around him.

He hummed and kissed the top of your head, "Mkay. Wanna sleep with me again tonight?"

"Yeah, I'll bring more clothes later."

He smiled, "'Kay. Let's go to class." He said and threw an arm over your shoulder, making you smile up at him.

Yeah, you knew things would be okay as long as he was around.

authors note

i hope you liked it! i'm sorry it was kinda short, i've been in a little writing stump but im trying to get out of it!

love ya 🩷

tags for bakugou fics: @doumadono @shonen-brainrot

[bu3ckers]

never be like you

•paige bueckers x fem!reader

•angst, explicit language, fluff

•nsfw

summary | oc is paige’s highschool best friend, except they’ve always had feelings for each other. when they got to uconn, things got complicated..

author’s note: this is loosely based off of never be like you by flume!! best friends to lovers is my favorite trope ever so enjoyy. also im too lazy to put my auto caps on, so im sorry if there’s any spelling mistakes

-

halloween 2019

hopkins, minnesota

11:30 pm

*oc and paige are both 18*

-

this was my last halloween party of my highschool years. as paige and i were dancing together in a random senior’s backyard, my mind began to wander. maybe it was the alcohol, maybe it was the weed, or maybe it was because she was staring into my soul with the most lust filled gaze ever. i broke out of my trance to find her smirking, tilting her head towards her car. “wanna get out?” she mouthed, knowing i wouldn’t be able to hear her over the music. i nodded in response and she gingerly took my hand and jogged out of the backyard. i struggled to keep up, still feeling the slight effects of the pen i took a few hits of almost an hour ago. she wasted no time driving back to her house, knowing her parents and brother were gone for the weekend. her free hand was gripping my thigh, dangerously high as i bit my lip in an attempt to simmer my excitement down. i dont know why i never told her how i really felt - i know she felt the same. but there was something telling me that she was just toying with me.

-

she finally pulled into her driveway and ran around the car to open the door for me. i stumbled out, gripping the blonde for balance. “get on” she said, holding out her arms, gesturing for me to jump into them. i obliged and she lifted me up, her hands going to my ass as i wrapped my arms around her neck. she walked to her door and opened it, slamming it closed with her foot once we were inside. she set me down to put her keys on the table before surging towards me, bringing me in for a passionate kiss. she lead me to her room, lips never leaving mine. after her door shut, the whole night became a blur. the only thing i remember was waking up with a pleasant pain between my legs, wrapped in paige’s arms.

-

august 2020

storrs, connecticut

7:30 pm

-

it was move in day for me and paige. we’d graduated from hopkins together and somehow ended up committing to uconn together. we both decided it would only make sense for us to dorm together. boy was i wrong.

-

jerking back tears while watching my parents leave along with paige’s wasn’t easy. paige noticed me standing there alone, staring at the road long after they’d left. she came up behind me, her hand going to the small of my back as hot tears were now flowing freely down my face. “no, no, no, it’s okay don’t cry, you’ll see them soon”, she said, allowing me to fold into her open arms. she held me as i soaked her shirt with tears, completely disregarding the box filled dorm that was waiting for us. i stayed wrapped in her embrace as the parking lot emptied and my tears subsided. the sun began to set as i lifted my head from her chest, looking up at her with glossy eyes. she looked down at me with a pout, trying to cheer me up. i giggled at the sight, watching her mouth turn up into a smile as she did a little fist pump. "see, all better” she joked, cupping my face and wiping my tears with her thumbs. “i bet you feel real accomplished” i said through a snotty laugh. “you know i do” she replied, her breath catching when she looked at the beautiful sunset. the sky was painted deep orange and yellow, pale pink reflecting onto the clouds making them look like cotton candy. i watched her take in the sunset, admiring the way it shone on her perfect face. i peeled my eyes away to look at the sunset myself. it was ethereal. i got lost in the sky, unaware that paige was gazing at me with a soft smile. i turned my head to find her staring, and before i could tease her about it, she connected our lips in a slow, sweet kiss. her hands gently held my waist as my arms traveled to wrap around her neck, pulling her closer. my lips moved expertly against hers as her hands moved up my back. i pulled away, smiling up at her. “you’re so beautiful”, she began, watching my face redden, “i love you”. my eyes widened a bit at the last statement. “i love you too p”, i replied, reaching up to kiss her again.

i had to keep reminding myself that we were just best friends, even though i was beginning to hate the label. best friends don’t kiss like that. best friends don’t have sex every so often. and best friends sure don’t talk to each other like that.

-

present day

9:45 pm

storrs, connecticut

-

paige was hanging out with her teammates while i was in class. i loved her team - they treated me like a sister, especially the freshmen, who always looked up to me. i had just gotten home from my last class, exhausted and burnt out from the amount of work i had to do. when i got back inside, i overheard paige, aubrey, kk and ice talking about something, someone. “so, paige, how’s your lil girlfriend?” kk joked. it clicked in my head that i was the topic of conversation. i stopped in my tracks as paige began to respond. “what girlfriend?”, she replied. “come on p, stop playing dumb, we all know you guys aint best friends” ice retorted. i peeked through the door that was cracked open and watched aubrey playfully punch her in the shoulder, laughing. see, throughout our freshman year, i had to deal with the amount of girls paige brought home. i hated that era of her. i knew she was just being a dumb college girl, i knew she didn’t care about those girls, but it hurt me to think about the fact that i was one of the many girls on her roster. when she finally changed her ways to focus on basketball after her acl injury, i felt a wave of relief wash over me. sure, it meant that i was also cleared off her roster, but we still resumed our normal not-best-friend-like activities. i held my breath as she began to answer. “i’m being serious, she’s my best friend and nothing more. i don’t even like her like that for real. i mean, she’s not even my type”, she replied. i practically winced at every word that left her mouth. she couldn’t be serious, right? i didn’t know what else to do in that moment. i turned around, grabbed my keys and stormed out. im guessing she heard me, because as i was running down the hallway she flew outside and sprinted to catch up to me. “shit, yn, you heard that?” she said when she got to me, exasperated. i turned around to face her guilty eyes. “yeah paige, i did. do me a favor and fuck off for me will you?” i replied, my words shaky as tears pricked my eyes. i ran downstairs and made my way outside before she could even reply. i started my car and began to drive mindlessly, just wanting to get away. i pulled into an empty dunkin’ lot, let my tears flow freely, and cried for what felt like hours.

-

paige’s pov

10:00 pm

storrs, connecticut

-

none of my words were true. i liked her so much, i just didn’t want to tell them right there. azzi was the only one who knew.

watching tears build at her waterline crushed me. i’ve never made her cry before. her words hit me hard. i wanted to follow her, i wanted to be the one to comfort her just like i did on move in day. i knew she wouldn’t let me in - she never did. she always had her walls up and rarely cried in front of me.

i checked her location, wanting to know if she was safe at least.

dunkin: hartford, ct

i had no idea why she was all the way in hartford. i knew she had a habit of absentmindedly driving when she was upset, but she’s never gone this far. fuck. i seriously hurt her. as much as i wanted to drive to her, i knew it was a bad idea. it took everything in me to trudge back to my dorm, our dorm. i opened the door slowly, my head hung low. aubrey, kk and ice were waiting behind the door, confusion painted on all of their faces. “p, what the fuck was that?” aubrey said. “man, i fucked up big time. i lied to y’all, i really do like her. i just didn’t wanna tell you guys”. “do you think we’re stupid? we knew girl. you suck at lying” kk retorted, snorting. “oh”, i replied, biting my lip. “go get your girl bueckers” ice said, ushering me out of my own dorm. i grabbed my keys and hopped into my car, wasting no time driving to her. luckily she was still at that random dunkin’, although i knew she didn’t exactly want to see me. i pulled up next to her car and peered through her window. the only thing i could make out through the heavy rain coating her window was the sight of her holding her head in her hands, her chest heaving up and down. it broke me to see her like that. i just sat there and watched her for a while, my face turning white when she eventually noticed me. her expression immediately shifted from miserable to livid as she switched from park to reverse, quickly pulling out of the lot. i didn’t even try to follow her. i sunk into my seat and ran my hands down my face, pinching my eyelids and hitting the steering wheel. i fucked up, bad.

-

oc’s pov

11:00 pm

storrs, connecticut

-

i booked a room at the graduate hotel, solely to get away from the blonde. i only planned on staying there for the weekend because of the ridiculously high prices. i checked in and didn’t even bother putting my stuff away. i just flopped on the bed, burying my face in a pillow. stop thinking about her. you’re not her type. my mind was in a million different places at once, but it seemed to go silent when i checked my phone. they were all notifications from paige, about 16 missed calls and 20 unread messages. they ranged from “im so sorry” to “i miss you” to “are you okay?” to “where are you??”. tired and angry, i took her off my allowed people on do not disturb. i couldn’t bear to think about her at all. i quickly got changed into my pajamas and settled into bed, feeling cold and empty without paige’s presence beside me. it was weird falling asleep without her around me. i don’t think i’ve slept without her since freshman year started. i guess it’s never too late to try new things.

-

4:30 pm

storrs, connecticut

i spent practically the whole weekend rotting in the graduate hotel. i was honestly getting tired of ignoring paige. i missed her so much, but she didn’t have to know that. checking out of the hotel felt so good, and i was finally ready to speak to her after regaining my composure. i made my way back to our dorm, preparing to let her in and explain herself. i walked in only to be met with paige and another girl. she looked exactly like me, a doppelgänger if you will. her hair, her height, her eyes, everything. it looked like a friendly interaction, as though paige was planning to get up and leave, but i didn’t even let her reach the door. spinning on my heels, i stormed out for the second time this week, slamming the door in her face. i had enough. i’d seen enough. the sound of the door opening behind me angered my soul. “don’t fucking follow me paige”, i yelled, not even looking back. i didn’t want to see her face at all. i heard the door close quietly, footsteps trailing behind me. i was ready to scream at her. instead of being met with the tall blonde, i turned to see my doppelgänger. “hey, i don’t have any idea who you are, i was just leaving anyways but i’m not really interested in paige for real. she looked like she needed a shoulder to cry on..but that’s none of my business. i’m on your side babe, if anything” the girl, who’s name i learned was jade, spoke. her tone was gentle. she sounded genuinely concerned. “thank you, at least someone here understands me” i replied, laughing slightly. we exchanged numbers and i thanked her again for being so kind. she smiled and i left, needing somewhere to stay. although i was close to the entire team, azzi was the one i was closest to. well, aside from paige. azzi, paige and i have been sort of like a trio since highschool. whenever azzi came to visit, we had the time of our lives. we were so excited when she announced her signing with uconn. i texted her the whole situation and she immediately replied, welcoming me over. i sped over to her place, which wasn’t far from paige and i’s. she was waiting for me at the door, worry painted on her face. i began sobbing as soon as i saw her, just needing to be comforted. when we got inside she brought me over to the couch and pulled me into her lap, holding me as i hiccuped and shook uncontrollably. i cried until i couldn’t anymore again this week. this wasn’t like me. i never really cried like this. how could paige be causing all of this?

my tears turned into sniffles and azzi’s shirt was soaked. after i finished crying, i sat in her arms, my head buried in the crook of her neck, a comfortable silence filling the room as i regained composure. “honey, what happened?” she finally spoke, her voice soft. i lifted my head and began, “i overheard paige talking to aubrey, ice, and kk on friday.. they were teasing her about me and she said that she never liked me at all and that i wasn’t her type and…oh God”. my head fell into my hands as more tears began flowing down my face. azzi instantly pulled me back against her, rubbing my back to soothe me. “shh, it’s okay, i’m right here. you’re okay”. “i caught her with another girl azzi”, i confessed, sobbing harder. “oh hon..” she replied, visibly upset with paige. “i swear, im gonna kill her” she muttered to herself. i mustered out a slight, snotty laugh at her anger. “i wanted to give her the light of day after she tried to explain what she said about me, but that was the last straw. i don’t know what to do now”, i spoke, my voice cracking, tears still spilling down my face. “you don’t have to do anything right now, just stay here and take a break. you need it. i’ll be right here” she answered. “thanks az, i love you” i told her, meaning every word. i don’t know what i’d do without her. “i love you too”. i continued crying in her arms as the sun set.

-

paige’s pov

azzi’s apartment ..

-

i couldn’t help but follow her to azzi’s apartment. hearing everything she said and how she said it broke me. her voice, her tears, everything about it made me sick to my stomach. it made it worse that i was the one who did this, again. how could i be so stupid? how could i try to fill the void she left? nobody could ever be like her. i wasn’t going to let anything happen between jade and i. i couldn’t bring myself to. i had to tell her that. but seeing the look on her face when she saw me that night, the way azzi was cradling her as tears streamed down her face was too much for me. i couldn’t stand to see her like that. i quietly slipped away from azzi’s apartment, not being able to see her crying anymore. when i got back to our place, i tried texting her again. it was pointless - she hadn’t even replied to the texts i sent her on friday night. i sat on the couch and pondered for a while. deciding to test my luck, i headed back to azzi’s apartment.

-

oc’s pov

-

my tears finally faded as i began drifting off to sleep. azzi noticed my eyes drooping which inclined her to lift me off the couch and carry me to her room. she laid me down and tucked me into her bed. “get some rest, okay?” she whispered, lips pressed to the crown of my head. i nodded and smiled sleepily up at her. “thank you az” i murmered. “of course” she replied, turning on her fairy lights and flicking the light off. she closed the door, leaving it cracked open slightly. i heard some commotion coming from outside the door, but i eventually fell asleep, tear tracks drying on my face.

-

paige’s pov

-

speeding right back over to azzi’s apartment almost cost me my car privileges, but i didn’t care. i needed to see her. i flew down the hallway and practically banged on azzi’s door. after about a minute or so it opened, and i was met with azzi’s stern glare. she was visibly angry with me, for good reason. “paige. are you stupid or dumb?” she said. not really what i wanted to hear. “i know, i know, i messed up bad. but i need to explain to her. i need to talk to her”. “you do realize she’s completely broken and wants nothing to do with you? she’s also asleep right now”. great. i just want to see her face again. “can i just..” my voice trails off. “can you what paige?” i clear my throat. “can i just see her, please?”

azzi thought for a few moments.

“fine, go, she’s in my room”.

i thanked azzi profusely and quietly shuffled into her room. there she was, sleeping like an angel with the fairy lights perfectly illuminating her face. she looked beautiful during any time of day. i stood over her for a while and just watched her sleep like the weirdo i was. eventually, i got tired of standing and oh so gently sat down on the edge of the bed, careful not to wake her. a heavy sigh escaped my mouth as i watched her sleep peacefully. my arms and hands apparently had a mind of their own, because before i knew it i was stroking her face gently. i couldn’t bring myself to stop. her face is so perfect, everything about her is so perfect. i slightly brushed my thumb over her lips, trying not to wake her. i failed as soon as my hand reached the top of her head, petting it and stroking the hair down her face. she began to stir under me, blinking her eyes open. i knew she was a heavy sleeper and it took a few minutes for her to wake up, so i continued to graze her face. when she began to gain consciousness, i panicked and planted my feet in the ground to stand up. a soft voice stopped my escape.

“paige?”

i froze in place and waited for her to speak again.

“what are you doing here?” she asked in that adorable, sleepy voice she has when she first wakes up.

turning around, i slowly walked back towards the bed where she laid, curled up in azzi’s fuzzy blankets, head craned slightly to see me.

“oh uh, i was just-“

i stopped.

“hm?”

“i was checking..on you.”

“why?”

she was waking up fully now.

“because i hurt you. and i’m sorry.”

her expression changed from sleepy to upset, and i noticed the tear tracks that stained her face.

“you’re sorry?” she answered, tears welling up in her eyes. “now you’re sorry? do you realize what you put me through?” she said, hot angry tears flowing freely down her soft cheeks.

“i-“ i tried to retaliate, but stopped immediately when she broke down sobbing.

“baby i-“

“don’t call me that”, she spat, glaring at me through wet eyelashes.

ouch.

“how can you casually come back here and sorry your way out of this? don’t you know how long i suffered watching you hook up with all of these girls in front of me? don’t you realize how hurtful it was to be one of those girls on your ever growing roster? do you even know how long i waited for you paige? all throughout our little friends with benefits phase in high school, all while i became a hook up and not a best friend, all while i was there for you when you tore your acl, all of it. and then you go ahead and tell aubs, ice and kk that i’m not your type? that you never liked me like that? and then proceeded to hook up with a girl that looks exactly like me? don’t you know what that does to someo-“

“i love you”.

-

oc’s pov

-

“i love you”.

i stopped my rant instantly and shot my eyes up to meet hers. she immediately looked down and took her bottom lip in between her teeth.

“you what?”

“i love you. more than anything”.

i scoff and laugh a little, shocked.

“but i thought-“

she cuts me off by leaping onto the bed and bringing me in for a long kiss, pouring out every pent up emotion she had built up in her. our lips moved against each other perfectly. i didnt want to admit how much i was craving this. she slid her tongue into my mouth and they danced together as we made out. it was sweet. it was everything i had been missing. we slowly dwindled down and pressed our foreheads together. she took my head in her hands.

“i. love. you.”

i sniffled and lightly smiled up at her.

“you do?”

“i’ll say it again and again and again. however many times it takes for you to believe me.”

“you would?”

she brought her lips to my forehead and spoke against it, still holding my face.

“of course i would”.

laughing breathily, i retaliated.

“i love you too. i love you more, actually”.

she peeled her lips away from my forehead and looked me dead in the eyes.

“not possible. all those girls? they’ll never be like you.” she said, grinning wildly, waiting for my response.

my finally dried face turned damp again and my mouth turned up in a smile as happy tears streamed down my face. i hugged her so tight and cried into her neck, kissing it simultaneously.

“i love you paige. so much”.

“i love you more baby”.

pulling away from her neck, i crashed my lips onto hers. we made out for what seemed like hours, basking in the warmth that we brought each other.

azzi smiled at the sight of us making up, proud of her idiot best friends who didn’t know how to deal with their feelings.

we finally headed back to our place together. we went straight to our room and laid down, limbs tangled together.

my head rested on her chest as she gently played with the ends of my hair, curling them with her fingers.

the world had stopped spinning. paige and i were girlfriends. not best friends. everything aligned.

[srjlvr]

,, late night walkings ‘‘

“im more of a night person”

highschool student!Jake X highschool student!gn Reader

Jake’s place-to-escape is the park only at the very late night hours, he never thought he’d now have to share his place with a stranger || genre fluff, a bit of angst & comfort! || wc 2.0k+ || lowercase intended. || ✎ ᝰ . not my fav but i worked a lot on it, pls tell me what you think!

“late night walking became my favorite thing now because it’s with you”

“you’re failing your classes and you can’t do anything right! what happened to you?” jake heard this sentence a few times lately, especially from his parents and teachers.

he took a big sigh and laid back his chair. he has been out of motivation lately and barely even wants to get out of bed, he tries his best but nothing comes out of it, he’s on the verge of giving up already.

he looked at the clock on his desk, it showed 11:48PM, he has been studying up until now and lately he had been dealing with problems of sleeping as well. “guess i’ll go out for a walk” he smiled to himself, grabbed his coat and quickly made his way to the door.

“where are you going? sim jake!” his mother called him but it’s nothing new, he has been going out on these hours lately and always comes back about half an hour later, she sighed to herself, shaking her head in disappointment.

finally arriving at the nearest park to his house, he sighed loudly. “will i be able to pass this year successfully?” he asked himself, looking at the dark view ahead of him.

the park is big, there’s a river along the entire place and there are a few benches to sit in front of the river, the view is breathtaking, especially in the night when all you see is the lights from the buildings on the other side of the river and the dark water that make those really relaxing and comforting sounds. it’s certainly a hobby of jake to come here every time when he can’t seem to fall asleep.

you were just now finishing your job in the convenient store, taking your bag and a few snacks, you waved goodbye at the worker who replaced you and headed out of the store. the weather was chilly, it wasn’t too cold but it wasn’t too hot either, you loved it.

you’re working at the convenient store to save up some money so you could spend it on the things you need. at one point you wanted to feel independent and stopped asking for money from your parents, so you had to start working.

however, you didn’t expect everything to be even more stressful. your parents wants you to be successful, but you’re falling behind everyone in the class, you’re feeling like a very much disappointment to everyone.

“will i be able to make my parents proud?” you sighed and took a bite from your snack. you actually like the outside more than your own house, especially at nights so you usually just go out after work until you feel like getting back home.

you usually wake up around 6AM and finish your job around 11:50PM, your sleeping hours are a bit messed up but you don’t regret being hardworking at all. school is important to you, but you also gotta make money for living.

“i’ll go to this park today” you’ve never been in the park before, but you heard your co-workers talking about how pretty it is at night, you’re usually hanging around at the close playground just by yourself, playing some games on your phone and eating snacks alone.

slowly making your way to the park, you took out a few snacks that were in your backpack as you were feeling a bit hungry.

when you arrived at that park, you stopped for a minute. you admired the peace and beautiful view, you took a few seconds to look around and explore the whole place.

that was when you saw a dark figure, sitting on one of the benches in front of the river. “is he a stalker of someone or something…?” you asked yourself and slowly got closer to the figure.

you tried carefully not to make any noise and when you got close enough, you heard a crying and sniffing sounds. no way….is he…crying…? you thought.

you didn’t want to interrupt his cries so you sat on one of the benches that was next to his. you looked at the river without looking at him. “i don’t know you at all but i know that something’s probably off if you’re here at this park at this hour while shedding a few tears” you tried to make a joke and maybe brighten his mood but all it did was to make him stop crying.

he wiped his tears and looked at you. “your parents didn’t teach you it’s not okay to talk with strangers?” he asked. “i don’t like following my parents’ rules, i break them” you chuckled.

he was looking at you but you were looking at the river without making any eye contact with him. “i’m sorry to interrupt your crying session, if you feel like venting then do it, we’re strangers anyway so it’s better since i know literally nothing about you” you casually said.

you were right, you both really don’t know each other and honestly? venting to a stranger is better than venting to someone you know, there is no judgement from the stranger’s side so you don’t feel like you’re being judged.

“i feel like i’m disappointing my parents, my teachers and everyone else i know, school is the main reason and the problem is, no matter how hard i try i just never manage to achieve my goal” he sadly smiled. “and if you were wondering, i like this park, it’s better than my home and the only place i find comfort in” he added.

you bit your lip, his story really sounded similar to yours, “i know it’s hard, but you can do it, you’ll manage to get out of this loop, you need to learn from your mistakes and move on with the help of them.” you sighed, “you shouldn’t be too harsh on yourself, you should learn how to firstly accept yourself, and then it’ll slowly affect your surroundings” you finally looked at him and you made an eye contact.

your eyes brightened a bit, he looked really out of motivation and tired, nevertheless he was really beautiful, even if it was really dark and you could barely see him. jake feels the same too. up until now he saw half of your face, but when you made eye contact something in him softened, you looked tired as well, almost as if you were the same person in different bodies, you were absolutely beautiful in his eyes even though he didn’t see much of your face since it’s really dark.

“thank you” he whispered, “i really needed to hear that” he nodded. “im y/n” you randomly said, “if you like this place and come here everyday at this hour, then i guess it’ll be my routine as well” you chuckled. “jake” he replied. “never thought i’d have to share my park with a stranger” he added. “you know my name so now we’re not that much of strangers” you smiled softly.

you and jake kept talking and getting to know each other better, you didn’t notice the time that passed by so fast, and suddenly you heard jake’s phone getting spammed with loads of texts. “oh god, it’s like 1:30AM right now, my mom’s worried sick” he stressfully said.

you got closer to him and put a hand on his shoulder to calm him a bit, “you’ll be fine, your mother will relax as soon as you tell her that you’re alive” you giggled. he chuckled a bit and got up next to you.

that was when you figured he was taller than you expected. “woah you’re tall” you put a hand over your mouth. “told her i’m alive and breathing, let’s do a little walk around the park!” he excitedly said as he turned off his phone.

for a few more minutes, you and jake spent your happiest moments together, even if you’re both complete strangers that just met each other, you managed to find comfort in each other really fast.

around 2AM you decided to call it a night, and each of you went the other way back to your house.

the sun rise and you were already eating your breakfast, quickly getting ready for school and heading out your home. “i’ll be back home late don’t search for me” you claimed without waiting for your parents’ reaction.

jake was doing the basically same, “i’ll be back home as usual” he sighed and closed the door.

your day routine was the same, getting into school and walking out of school, you went to your convenient store to start working and jake headed home.

it was around 11:20PM that jake stopped studying, he looked at the clocked and sighed, “should i visit their work place today….?” he asked himself. yesterday you told him that you’re working at the close convenient store and invited him to visit you whenever he feels like it.

through the whole day, jake couldn’t stop thinking about you, you met yesterday but jake already couldn’t stop feeling attracted to you.

he decided to go and visit you so he took his coat and headed out, without updating his parents again. he finally arrived at the place and looked at the store from the outside.

he saw you there behind the counter, studying a bit since there was no one in the store. you looked even prettier now that jake could see you in the light. he walked in and a ringing bell sound made you look up at the glass door.

“hell- oh? jake!” you excitedly said when you saw the person. “i decided to pay a visit” he smiled.

oh man, jake was too handsome now that you could finally see him fully in the light. “thank god, it was so boring here already” you rolled your eyes and sighed.

“my shift ends in about 20 minutes, do you wanna snack some noodles in the meantime?” you offered. there was no one in the store anyway so you could eat with him.

“do you always work that late?” he asked worriedly. “guilty” you giggled, “what can i say? i’m more of a night person”. jake nodded and went to grab his favorite noodles to make.

when your noodles were finally ready, you sat on the bar that was in front of the glass walls of the store, happily eating your noodles and joking around. “i was planning to see you at the park today anyway, i even told my parents i’ll be back home late” you smiled. “i didn’t tell my parents anything, i’m probably going to get spammed again” he rolled his eyes in annoyance.

twenty minutes later and your other co-worker came to replace you. “have fun on your shift!” you smiled and went out together with jake. “to the park?�� he asked. you nodded, “to the park”.

and every night it would be the same, jake coming to your work and you’re walking together to the park. it almost feels as if the park belongs to the both of you only. the same routine kept on going for months already.

jake slowly started to get his grades back in track and you did the same. “it’s all thanks to our late night walkings” you sarcastically said. “it’s true though! without your comfort that day i don’t think i’d be where i am right now” he smiled at you.

“late night walking became my favorite thing now because it’s with you” he blabbered out. “it was my only way of escaping the reality back then but ever since i met you it changed it’s meaning” he chuckled, “thank you, for turning my late night walkings into something more meaningful” he genuinely said from his whole heart, the way you two share eye contact made you feel butterflies in your stomach, even though making eye contact already became your usual thing.

“why are you saying that out of blue?” you smiled. “because i realized it’s finally the time to tell you how i really feel about you” he took a deep breath, “you know, about me liking you for a while now and these things”

© srjlvr , pls don’t copy/translate any of my works without permission ! | reblogs and comments are very appreciated !

[raincamp]

11 03 2023

discovering that i experience pathological demand avoidance / pervasive drive for autonomy (PDA) as a symptom of my autism has been fucking life changing.

i spent all these fucking years feeling so helpless, my parents telling me that im lazy, feeling like a failure because i couldnt even graduate highschool. i didnt understand how everyone else could just sit back and waste their entire lives at the demand of someone else. how they could work 40+ hours a week and not come home so exhausted that they can't even find time to take care of themselves.

i couldn't find a justifiable reason why i was physically unable to do what everyone else has been able to "just suck it up" and suffer through. working full time, being at school full time, it was all enough to make me lose sight of why i was even alive. enough to make me have mental crises. enough that i ended up in the hospital several times.

but idk, im fine when i have control over my schedule. i was thriving during COVID when school was no longer a thing i was forced to do, but something i got to choose to do. nobody was making me sit in a building for 6 hours bored out of my mind. i got autonomy over my schedule, over my life, and i genuinely haven't been able to recreate the feeling of freedom it gave me since.

and when i was forced to go to school again, despite how easy it was, despite the fact that i barely had to do anything, the mere idea of having to sit in a classroom against my will made me burn with such rage that i made it so that i had autonomy over it. i would only come to classes i wanted to go to, which meant going to school three hours late and walking out when the class was over.

now obviously thats not how highschool works so i had to drop out. after a lovely (/s) visit to the psych ward my parents stopped giving a fuck. but then it was my choice to get a diploma/GED which i had zero problem doing, i was happy to do it even. why didnt i just sit through the last 6 months of school instead? idk, to me it felt like fucking torture.

i still feel that way, working full time. working part time even. i hate it because i want nothing more than to enjoy having a career like everyone else can. to be able to have a life outside of work, a fulfilling one even. ive never been able to do that. and it saddens me. why is it that everyone around me can find happiness in working their entire lives away but not me? why do i come home everyday wanting to die? why am i the only one who sees it as an injustice that my entire life is going to be spent at the whims of someone else's demands?

i burn with helplessness and anger and pain at the mere thought. but still i suffer through as many months as i can handle at jobs until i have enough money to last me a couple months of freedom. even though i have to sacrifice my mental stability for it. even though it means hospital visits and alcohol dependency and suicide attempts.

a perfect life for me doesn't include not working though, not working feels unfulfilling, i want to make a living for myself. i want to be financially independent. i dont even mind working 8 hours a day if i got to choose my schedule. if i could wake up one day and say "nah ill wait till 2 pm to start work today" or could start work at 7 am when i wanted, take as many days off as i wanted, which honestly wouldn't be a whole lot because i find value in productivity.

its the fact that i have to follow the demands of someone else that sucks the life out of me.

and now that i have this knowledge i can learn how to use it to accommodate my struggles instead of feeling like a fuck up

- andrew

[ruu-https]

Fluff Prompts

P.S. Feel free to ask me to write with any of these in my ask box!

navigation || ask box || smut prompts || taglist

“You look really good in my clothes” 

“This reminded me of you” 

“Your hands are warm” 

“I just want to relax in your arms” 

“Let’s go home” “I’m already home” 

“Make a wish!” 

“I could just stare at you forever” “Creep” 

“I’m so lucky to know you” 

“You’re the most beautiful being on the earth” 

“Hold me”                 

“You smell amazing” 

“I wish you could see the way I see you” 

“What are you doing?” “I was trying to make pancakes but it didn’t exactly work” 

“This isn’t just a(n) [object], it’s a promise” 

“Sing to me again” 

“Come back to bed” 

“You’re the only person I want to spend my life with” 

“My parents love you” 

“… sorry, I talked too much” “No no no not at all. Keep talking” 

“Oh my god you never told me you could cook” 

“Our kids are gonna be *mwah*!” 

“Come on. I’ll show you how to dance” 

“I can’t believe I never heard you sing before” 

“I know you had a bad day, so I made you cookies” 

“Let’s go and look at the stars” 

“Is that … is that a dog?” 

“I’m gonna need someone to kiss at midnight” 

“I can’t stop thinking about you” 

“Get on my shoulders, you’ll see better” 

“Im going to be a great parent, I’m just saying” 

*Fogs up mirror and writes a message* 

“I never thought I could miss someone this much” 

“Not to be drastic, but I would jump off of a cliff for you” 

“You’re breathtaking” 

“You’re my new pillow” 

 “can i sleep in your room tonight? is that weird to ask?” 

 “you put a blanket over me when i was sleeping? what are we, an old married couple?” 

 “you need some real food. come sit, i made dinner.” 

 “i love you, i swear i do, but if you buy one more cushion for the sofa i’m moving out.” 

 “i’m not saying there’s anything wrong with going out for dinner, but our first date shouldn’t be something we’ve done together every night for the last two years.” 

 “please, stop brushing me off and just let me take care of you.” 

 “okay, we need to decide who’s bedroom it is that’s going to be ours from now on. i feel like i’m back in highschool, sneaking from one to the other every second night!”  

 “your ex didn’t deserve you. anyone with sense would give you the love and respect you deserve, which is so much more than they did.” 

 “i’m sorry, about earlier. i didn’t know you had… company over.” 

 “i’m sorry i didn’t tell you sooner. i was just so scared of ruining our friendship, you know it means the world to me. you do.” 

 “thank you for looking after me last night.” 

 “you’re my best friend. there’s nothing i wouldn’t do for you, nothing at all.” 

 “i can’t remember a time where i didn’t know you. i’m not sure i want to, either.” 

 “look, i- i have to tell you something.” 

"Oh- hold still, you got a little something just there on your face.... May I get it for you?" 

"Oh dear! Your hands are so cold... Here, let me warm them for you- ah, that is, if you're not opposed...?" 

"Has anyone ever told you that you have the most beautiful laugh?" 

"You know... Whenever I look at you, I immediately feel like everything is going to be okay." 

"I love making you smile! It always feels like an accomplishment." 

"My favorite place in the entire world? That's easy- it's right next to you, of course." 

"There are billions of stars in the sky but all I care to look at are the ones in your eyes." 

"Of course I believe in happy endings; we're together after all, aren't we?" 

"Why, look at that! Our hands fit just perfectly, don't you think?" 

"I thought you might be hungry! Here, I brought this for you." 

"Scoot a little closer, won't you Y/N? My shoulder is prime real estate for that pretty head of yours." 

"I saw this while I was out- it made me think of you. I... Well, I hope you like it." 

"I'll keep the nightmares at bay; just rest for now; I got you, I'll be here when you wake up." 

 "It's hard not to be chipper every morning when the first thing I see is always you." 

"What's my favorite color? Oh, simple- the color of your eyes." 

"I could sit like this with you forever, Y/N." 

"May I brush your hair for you?" 

"Sorry, I'm absolutely listening, it's just that I got a little sidetracked by how excited you obviously are about all of this; it's beautiful to see you so passionate- please continue?" 

"I'm looking forward to growing old together with you." 

"Five, ten, even twenty years may pass us by someday but I'll never, ever forget this moment with you, Y/N, I promise." 

"I want you back."  

"You need to stop calling me that."  

"You did not just boop me."  

"Give me back my bra!"  

"Don't laugh at me. How can I not laugh when you make that face?"  

"You lost me in a crowd once! It's not my fault you're so short!" 

"We should get a puppy." 

"Is that my shirt?"  

"Get out of the dog bed. But it's comfy!"  

"I'm working."  

"Okay, okay. It's my turn on the Xbox."  

"It's raining and you wanna go to the park?"  

"Baby wants a hug."  

"I'm concentrating..."  

"Grab some popcorn and cuddle me." 

"Kiss me. Not with that morning breath."  

"So, will you marry me?"  

"How'd you do that? Magic."  

"It's my happy juice."  

"You need to cover up. I'm uncovered for a reason."   

"Why can't you be more like this?"  

"Because I'm not an illiterate two-year-old."  

"Why does it look like that?"  

"Do we have to go to bed?"  

"Maybe if you didn't fool around so much we could actually get something done."  

"If you fluff that pillow one more time..."  

"Why did you do that? Because I thought it would be cool..."  

"Why is there a pig in a tutu on the couch?"  

"It's sleepy time."  

"You did not just mimic me."  

"I'm on my period and I want chocolate. Now go."  

"I'm not like other girls."  

"What did I tell you not to do? Forget the lid to the blender... And what did you do? Forget the lid to the blender..."  

"Excuse you, I am 6ft of pure testosterone."  

"And this is why I don't go shopping with you."  

"I left you for five minutes." 

"What's the magic word? The French Revolution?"  

"What has ten toes and just learned how to eat with their feet? A monkey?"  

"Can we get a dog? No. This house has room for only one bitch."  

"Tell me why I deal with you again?"  

"Kiss it better. Please." 

@ruu-https -----2023 || All rights reserved. Do not repost, reupload, translate, modify, or claim my work as your own.

[dev-nxbody-h3re]

i come for more *ominous music*

Micheal? how did you meet every one of the tormentors and what are your thoughts one them?

that is all i asked for *Ascends*

(in case you didn't know, i actually made a video on this exact scenario on my youtube channel :D i haven't uploaded in a bit but i SWEAR im still doing stuff T-T)

Michael: Well, that's actually a bit of a funny story.. it was in 6th.. no, it was 7th grade, so we were about 12 I think. I tried skipping lunch because I thought the school rules were dogshit and I was some kind of pre-bad boy even before I hit highschool. But the hall monitor told me to get the fuck back in there or she'd give me detention- which was bullshit, but whatever.

So I go back into the cafeteria and there's only one table open. I'm thinking, oh fucking great, there's Assholes 1, 2, and 3, I'm gonna be stuck here for the next half-hour. I gotta tell you though, they were the cutest kids. I had a distinctly British, swagless demeanor at the time so I looked constantly dead inside- more than I ended up actually being later. But I digress, I should continue the story. So I'm being mopey and emo about it because I'm 12 and that's the most important thing I have to deal with.

I look away for one moment and these motherfuckers have me surrounded. They've been trying to force me to be their friend for a bit now, and they're about to annoy me into accepting their friendship. Eventually I decide that I'm fighting a losing battle and accept their offer of friendship, thinking that I'll just be their friend for one lunch period and that'll be that.

Yeah.. we ended up being friends for the rest of our lives. And then after, too. Granted, there was like forty years between them dying and then coming back but like, I think it still counts.

My opinion of them? God, you'll be lucky if this response doesn't take up your entire screen. Sorry but- well, I'm not really sorry, because 1, I like talking about my friends, and 2, you actually asked for this. Congratulations, you're getting exactly what you asked for! Yay!

Let's start with James. Now look, okay, I can admit this is going to be ridiculously sappy, so why don't we just pretend that I'm actually saying something deep, and.. and enlightening, or something. Just between us. Okay. Honestly, James is literally just the best. He's always been there for me even when I haven't asked, just- God, I love him so much. There's so much I want to talk about but this would actually be enormous- I don't think either of us really thought this through. Whatever. He's amazing, and funny, and pretty, and I'm very in love with him, 10/10 friend and boyfriend, would recommend. Except I wouldn't, because he's not up for grabs.

Moving on to Matthew.. where do I even start? Let's just get one thing out of the way, he's so cool. Like, if Jeremy is cool in a cool way, Matthew is cool in a loser way. He's just.. a guy. In my house! Sometimes I'll wake up and be sad like usual and then I see Matthew and I'm like "Oh!! A guy!! A funky dude!!" and then everything's good again. Very huggable, my best loser, 10/10 friend, love him very much. I would throw myself into a volcano for him.

And finally, Taylor. God, they're gorgeous. Obviously that's not all, but. Fuck. Taylor is literally the only one of us who has any sort of fashion sense at all, it's insane. Taylor's also smart as fuck, even if they don't think so. They're so insecure about themself I just kinda wanna squeeze them and shake them around a bit until they finally get it inside their head that they're so perfect. Taylor is absolutely the most perfect human on planet Earth and they live with me! I've never been luckier in my life! So incredibly cool in the least straight way possible, I love them more than life itself, 10/10 human ever.

There's your answer. This got a bit out of my control, but in my defense this is what you asked for. I could've gone into so much detail your head would've exploded, but I didn't. And thank god you didn't ask about Jeremy, or Evan, or Elizabeth, or literally anybody else because I have so much to say about them this response would've been so fucking long.

Bye.

[midnightmisadventures]

So this time we’re on our way home, i see he doesnt have any gas, so i say “you can stop here for gas” he pulls into the station and its dystopia city lol. Theres homeless people with broken limbs begging for help. Theres.....scary shit. So he goes ya know lets just get out of here.

So we’re driving and he’s being such a bad driver, constantly almost crashing. But we’re laughing about it. Then we’re holding hands, flirting, flirting. Massaging eachothers hands, being such a couple.  

And then he pulls my hand up to his mouth and i think he’s gonna kiss it. But instead he takes my two fingers (pointer and middle) and puts them in his mouth. And now its like.....hot. 

Like when i tell you i was turned on I WAS. So im playing into it, basically fingering his mouth. This is so graphic, but i can feel myself getting wet. He’s still driving but the sexual tension is building. Then he SLAMS into the break sort of. Pulls over. Idk if we home but i didnt care. He’s like...ready to fuck. So he stops the car. Pushes the seat all the way back and lowers it, and i get on top of him soooo ready lmao. I also still know this is a dream, so i dont have any nerves im just excited. Btw im wearing my yellow dress i wore to lias party. 

Anyway, now im on top of him, and i go in and kiss him but then notice. THeres puke everywhere. Like puke and drool coming out of his mouth, puke on his shirt, puke on the dash. And im confused?? And im like “uhh maybe like wipe your mouth or spit into something first” and im trying to look around for a napkin and not make him feel too embarrassed bc ew i just kissed his wet puke lips. 

THEN, the cops....or the town orderlies idk dystopia. Knocks on his window like get out whats going on, we need to search him. SO i quickly get off his lap lol back into the passenger. And the cops are like “what the fuck is going on” they didnt have any specific reason....idk it was confusing. So we were both changed out of our “school” uniform. And i think mark starts explaining to the guy that we’re on our way back from school. And hes like “yea i need proof of your uniform. preforably a clean one” so he’s looking and then the cops start searching his car and filing a report. And for some reason i was so confused as to where the puke came from and when it got there. 

So i was like “i dont understand was that ur puke” and he was like “yea it was me, i slammed on the breaks and boom threw up” and then i realize and am like “OH NO was it my fingers, did i gag you omg im so sorry” also being kinda cute about it. Like babe was it my sexy fingers teasing you?? And hes into it he’s like NO don’t apologize. Your fingers did nothing wrong, i wouldnt take that back, like i’d throw up 10 more times if it meant we got to be hot and tease eachother. So its kind of a cute funny moment, and i did like him, and i did want to kiss him more. But i just started looking around lol. The cops were here, we werent home yet. We had dystopian highschool again tomorrow lmao. I was like, this isnt worth it. This is a dream i should just cut out. Cause this can only get scarier, and what if i get in a situation where im stuck or in a scream proof room. I should just get out while i know i can, i dont feel like dealing with the authority in this dream world. 

So i leave marks side, go behind the car, and scream my lungs out. Literally it took all my might, i was worried it wouldnt work. Then i ended up in the “fake wake up” dream. And then i actually woke up.

Wasnt that a weird dream?

[marvelousjj]

Some people have been checking on me to see what's bee going on with life. I figured I would post here about what's been going on. I'm gonna put most of it under a read more so nobody gets triggered. Might delete this later. I'm just feeling really down lately and could use some support.

First I have to take you way back to my senior year of highschool. For context I'm turning 33 in March. My parents were going camping, I was going to a performance I was in, and my brother was going out of town for a conference. My parents and step brothers went first, then I left, followed by my brother. I was called suddenly being told my mom was picking me up and I had to be outside waiting. After a silent car ride home we arrive to find a cop car waiting. After being interrogated for an hour the cop leaves. Why was the cop there? My parents claimed they came home to the door open and drugs on the coffee table. They said nothing was stolen. I took a drug test, came up negative for everything (and was even supervised while taking the test). I went to be crying that night and the following morning I was woken up at 6am saying my step dad would be home at noon for lunch and I had to be gone by then.

I had a whole second year of highschool I had to do. I didn't know how to live on my own, and suddenly I was sitting in a diner with a duffle bag, and not knowing where to go. I got up, I found a place to stay eventually, and I graduated the next year. All without my parents help.

Now...We can fast forward to present day...

I had moved back home after a very nasty breakup of a toxic relationship that lasted 3 years. This is after a long time of working on getting myself back on top, being diagnosed with debilitating anxiety and ptsd from said event that happened when I was in highschool. My mom came to me with information that my dad was gambling all their money away. Like, her whole savings. Then one morning I wake up to find I slept through my mom finding him smoking (and this is in his words) not meth but the closest thing he could make with over the counter stuff. She kicked him out and said she wanted a divorce. Little more context. I have an 8 year old child and have a history with my biological dad of drug abuse, so I have quite a bit of issues with that stuff. After FOUR DAYS he comes over in the middle of the night, and she lets him sleep over without telling my brother and I. When she comes downstairs and tells us he's moving back in, we both explained why we weren't comfortable with it, she had nothing to say.

I was heartbroken. I was basically told that after I didn't do anything all those years ago, I was kicked out, but all he had to say was sorry and he got to come right back. When I asked for an explanation (never even got an im sorry after all these years) he explained to me that there were other children in the house they needed to think about? And that if CPS got called they would lose all the kids? I had proven my innocence only to find out it didn't matter. I was a scape goat for my parents.

So my brother and I looked for a place, and I told my parents I wasn't interested in hearing anything they had to say and bid them a wonderful life. This apparently has caused my mother to harass me with messages (until finally I gave her one final warning to back off and now she has blocked me), saying my brother and I have given her ptsd over it, and claiming that I'm doing things like pulling the victim card. She even talks about me in chat like I'm not even there.

I can't go a single day without having a panic attack. I'm constantly on edge, my sleep schedule is all out of whack, and on top of that I'm getting ready to start life over in Indiana.

I don't know why I wrote this...other than it's really lonely right now. I feel like that same scared teenager and I'm realizing that my parents were never really in my corner. I guess I'm just looking for support. I'm not very good at making friends in person so a lot of people on here are my support circle.

Anyways...I'm gonna go try and find something to do. Thanks for reading if you did. And know you are loved and appreciated.

[moomoomooing]

mild rant? mostly thoughts :)

yk ive just not been a fan of how quickly my mood and possible depression is flipping from eberythings fine and im only a little stressed but its ok! to jesus fuck let me rot (projects and deadlines are suddenly piled up and its overwhelming, but i also feel like this when i have nothing i can do)

i try to keep on a shower schedule cause of my class times (i have night classes half of the days so i shower on my off days) but it means i gotta be nasty for a day on sunday till i shower that night. and i never have the willpower to go to the studio feeling nasty,,, even if it wouldve been great to get work done and satiate the restlessness i get from being in my dorm all day

but i didnt and now im plagued with guilt and more stress/ anxiety yippees

on another note my roommate is really REALLY good at finding ALL of my triggers for anxiety or fight or flight responses. so far they nailed using my mirror/being TOO close to my belongings without asking (they eventually asked and i gave permission out of being nice but i severely dislike it and it makes me hyperaware of everything she does when i hear her close to my dresser). they got my i will tense up and not breathe till its over response to alarm sounds (i hate them theyre incredibly anxiety inducing and i always wake up before my alarm usually out of fear. thankfully now my alarms a last resort/reminder of time if i dont wake up early). and!! they let the door slam (boo loud noises), are constantly on a call they often dont wear earbuds for and talk really loudly half the time, or is on call past 12 am (i feel intrusive and also please i cant sleep if youre on call)

theres also other general icks that are hopefully getting better? im noticing less of smth that i hate that they do (its a not cleaning after yourself type deal) but it could just be coincidence

oh also im trying to apply for jobs (remote part-times or internships) and frankly im scared. the reason it took me so long to get a job in highschool was also straight fear and anxiety lmao

i would love money tho (pssst i have commissions open :D)

OW SHARP RINGING NOISE WHERE DID YOU COME FROM????????? ALL OF THE WHITE NOISE DISSAPEARED AND ITS ONLY THAT

anyways i got another strike of hypersensitive skin??? no idea what causes it but it made the underneath of my forearm feel like i scraped it across concrete. 0/10 i didnt have a pleasant showering experience

oh on a better note being so far removed from my family and the fact we basically never call or text has been quite freeing

its like when i was actually at public highschool and had agency over myself in a way i didnt have when my mom was around (basically her presence was usually STRESS)

on a lesser note i havent been talking with my two other friends (ill call em the trio, them plus me) and its been kinda radio silence from everyone? i havent exactly been great either but my infrequent requests for vcs are usually ignored or not responded too which sucks. it makes me more paranoid than id like to be

our time difference definitely makes it way harder too tho, im ahead by a few hours. ik weve gone months without talking before then picked it right back up, but im always scared during the radio silence anyways

im always scared and curious abt other ppls opinions on me, usually the ppl i consider friends. ik one of my friends likes me? but their friends (the 4 of us will be rooming together next year, theyre also technically my friends but my usually point of contact with them is through my friend) i cant tell how much they like me? its probably my unfamiliarity with them but it makes me nervous for no reason

anyways if you actually read all of this, sorry for taking away your time? i reccomend soft gepard x sampo (hsr) fics to soothe the mind, theyre cute.

also hey haha if youre one of the two friends, literally the nickels, are reading this? erase it from your mind please and thanks

[resonantmuse]

I have this crush on a guy for four months now and i don't know how to feel about it. Back then during my first year in highschool, i didn't really pay much attention to him and never got the chance to interact also. He's actually a year younger than me in terms of school grade but he's the same age as me. Idk if he remembers me but i got to know him bcos of a person we both know. A close friend of his who i quite made a bad impression cos this friend of his had the same crush on a guy i liked and vice versa. But, i apologized to them after realizing my mistake. i still feel bad tho. So, back to the present! He hardly posts anything on his socmed and it's usually memes, cars, and about him feeling insecured of his looks whenever he finds someone cute and sweet. I kinda get jealous actually. I get this jittery feeling each time he updates on socmed. It's the only part i can hold on to him. Although, idk if this is bcos he's buff and toned up that i started noticing him. Probably. Im a bit dismayed about that. I want to get to know him. But there are times where my hopes arise. One time, i posted a pic of my cat and then several minutes later he shared a post saying "meow meow meow" and another time, i posted a selfie of me where a pillow of a fox with its eyes closed was shown. After that, he posted a stuff toy i think that has its eyes closed too. I told my friend about that and told me that mayb it's just a coincidence. I tried not to think much about it but i can't help it. I want to tell him how i feel but im unsure yet cos im not really certain if this "feelings" are real or just a mere attraction. Perhaps. But, I daydream on holding his hands, resting my head on his shoulder and do those things i've always wanted with a person i like. I cannot act however cos my parents are strict and i need to study first. Im afraid on being rejected. I almost started playing video games just to share his hobbies and mayb get the chance to talk to him but that would only be pretentious, right? And maybe creepy of me. He's the person i think of when i wake up and before going to bed. I check his socmed each time and have i become obsessed?! Idk. R u familiar with the anon messages? I messaged another friend of his that i have a crush on him and then they told me to message him but i know I can't. Should i text him? Or should i just bury these feelings? Do you think im being creepy?

hello!! this is a lot to unpack — but i will do my best in giving advice <3

if you think you may have a chance with him and there isn’t anything holding you back from confessing, i see no reason why you should bury your feelings. however, when it comes to strict parents having a relationship can be an issue. it all depends on how strict they are and how easily you could keep it hidden from them (but of course if something happens and you trust them you should tell them, your well-being matters most.)

the stuff about the things you and him have posted on social media could be a coincidence like your friend said, but who knows ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ it could be him trying to subtly show that he noticed you. and when it comes to hobbies, i don’t think you should make yourself get into something simply just because he’s into it as well. instead, try and see if you have anything in common with him that you can bond over. no need to change yourself while pursuing a crush!

also, i don’t think you’re being creepy. you aren’t crossing boundaries or making him uncomfortable, checking up on a person that your interested in is nothing to feel ashamed of. it seems more like you’re infatuated.

overall, i think you should go for it and message him. if you’re afraid of rejection, then start out by messaging him casually, maybe send him a post about a game he likes? if you manage to talk to him more often you’ll be able to better understand how he feels about you & if he’s interested. and who knows, maybe he’ll make a move first :) and if it turns out he’s not interested, don’t feel discouraged. at the very least, you will not be forced to stress over the question of whether he likes you or not, and it won’t be the end of the world. i’m sure you’ve heard this before (pretty sure everyone has) but there are so many people in this world, there’s bound to be someone for you.

i wish you luck!!

[listenbuckaroo]

Flowers - Courtland Gentry (Sierra Six) x Reader

Warnings: guns, blood, canonical violence, not too graphic or nothin 

Word Count: 2.2k

Summary: your high school sweetheart appears unannounced in your apartment

a/n: im back friends :) hope you like this one!

Juggling the keys and grocery bags you had just picked up you trudge through the halls of your small apartment building. Carefully you tried to soften your footsteps so as to not wake your neighbor, who had a habit of yelling at you when you came home from late shifts for making too much noise. 

Unfortunately this evening she was already waiting for you outside of her door, maybe it was the obnoxiously loud music you had to blast on your way home from work so as to not fall asleep but you were about to find out. 

“Hi Mrs. Cross, how are you tonight?” you attempted to start on a good note before she laid into you.

“Your boyfriend has been in there for the past hour beating and banging on things and it keeps waking me up!” She said in her shrill voice. 

But tonight her shrill voice wasn’t the one that was bothering you, the fact that someone was in your apartment and had been for the past hour was. You didn’t have a boyfriend, not since high school and that was a long time ago. Fearing the assumed robbers were still in there right now and not wanting Mrs. Cross to report it you just sighed and said, “Don’t worry I'll handle him. Have a good night!” 

Waiting until she was inside and door locked you placed all your bags right outside your door and pulled your small handgun from your purse and pushed on your door. Whoever was in there had left it unlocked, probably assuming no one was going to come back tonight given the hour it was. 

The smell of blood hit you before you saw anyone, looking down at the floor bloody boot prints marred your wood floors in a jagged pattern meaning someone was probably bleeding out in your apartment. For a moment you considered that this may be too much, even for you, but shook the thought out of your mind. 

And not a moment too soon, a body came barrelling at you from your bathroom in an attempt to tackle you. Sliding forward and tripping him you quickly clamored on top and pinned his arms to his sides so he couldn’t attack again. 

“Jesus I’m gonna get so much shit for being topped by a girl.” You heard him wheeze out, as you flipped the nearest light switch in the hall. 

Looking down and seeing who you had now pinned to your floor was one of the last people you thought you might ever see again, Courtland Gentry. The pure shock that went through your body caused you to freeze and nearly drop the gun you were holding a few inches away from his face. He looked like he had been in a bar fight with 20 different people in the past few hours, bruises littered his face and neck and the weeping cut on his eyebrow was threatening to gush blood into his eye.

His face contorted into one of confusion, and then blanched like he had seen a ghost, “Y/N?” He questioned in a whisper.

“Courland what the fuck are you doing in my apartment?” You said not moving the gun from his face. 

“What am I doing here? You live here?” He wheezed, glancing around your sparsely decorated apartment, which only made you squeeze his arms into his body further.

“Okay, that's a fair move.” he whined. 

“Talk, then I’ll move.” you said getting comfortable on your new seat. 

“Hmmm, that's classified” he groaned as you jabbed a knee into his side.

“Nice fucking try, you’re supposed to be in prison.” You spat at him.

The pure anger and resentment on your face must have shocked him. He stopped squirming underneath you and looked you in your eyes. You liked to believe that you had kept a front up pretty well. Ever since Courtland had left for prison in highschool, you felt like he took a part of your heart with him. 

You two were nearly inseparable, both being from lower middle class families you lived near each other and always hung out every summer which eventually led to you dating in highschool. He was the most gentle person, especially with you before everything happened, and you thought you would never see him again. The last time you saw him he was being dragged away in handcuffs and threw a wink over his shoulder at you. 

Your father wouldn’t take you to see him at the trial so you tried on multiple occasions to go yourself, always being caught by school security. It felt like true love, but you eventually came to terms later that you had been swooped up in a summer love affair with a murder and had no busisness missing him. 

So you stopped. You stopped fighting, you never tried to go visit him in prison once you got old enough because you knew it'd be too hard. He was probably a deeply changed person and one that you wouldn't recognize or have the heart to actually break up with since you hadn't when he had first left. 

"Get to it Gentry I don't have all night." You said moving around on top of him shifting the slightest bit of weight towards his ribs.

He winced and wriggled out of your grasp, done with you annoying his clearly fractured ribs anymore tonight. He grabbed your thighs and shoved you off of him, even though he was bulky you didn’t expect the speed that came out of him. He had your hands pinned and your gun tossed away from you before you could really register what had happened.

"Oh, eat shit." You huffed out finishing it difficult to complete a full sentence with his new found body weight on top of you. 

He didn't say anything but slowly put a hand over your mouth as you listened to whatever he thought he heard. You tried to move around and get out from his weight but he gave you a glare that made you immediately stop. Focusing on quieting your breathing you looked back up at Courland.

He had aged, but to be fair it had been 10 years since the last time you had seen him. His dirty blonde hair was longer than you remember, but it suited him. The goatee however, you were on the fence about, you could maybe get used to it. His shoulders were about twice as broad as the last time you had seen him, and he stunk. That was what stood out the most. 

After a few seconds you heard footsteps outside that sounded heavy and they were moving with a purpose. Hoping Mrs. Cross didn't step outside to yell at them when they ran by you and waited until Courtland told you it was clear. It was obvious he had extensive training with some organization, but you still didn't know how he was out of prison.

He dropped his hand from your mouth and sat up to his knees in front of you. Still in a haze of panic you back up to grab your gun and aim it back at him. The confusion coursing through your mind made it difficult to process everything that was happening. 

He looked down at you sadly almost, he gently lifted his hand and pointed the gun down towards the ground. You let him take it out of your hands and turn the safety on. You stared at him and the blood pulsing down his face from a cut that he had recently acquired.

“Courtland Gentry, what the fuck are you doing in my apartment?” you said once again hoping you wouldn’t have to kick his ass for answers, although you’re not sure if you would win considering how much he had beefed up.

“I swear I'd tell you if I could.” He looked at you, almost as if he was trying to memorize the new freckles and lines on your face.

“Okay, well how did you get in?” you questioned hoping to get some kind of information out of him.

“Window.” he gestured to your living room fire escape and misplaced furniture that was now there, “it looked vacant that's why I came in.”

You glanced back over at him and couldn’t help but smile, he had always given you shit for your subpar homemaker skills when you were younger. You couldn’t cook, cleaned the bare minimum and when you did you somehow did it wrong. Surprisingly, he knew more than you and taught you a lot those years you had the privilege of knowing him.

Your smile quickly faded as you took in the man in front of you. Very far off from the boy you knew and watched go to prison for life. In all honesty you weren’t mad at him for what he did, you would have done the same for your sibling, you were just mad that your best friend was stripped away from you without warning. And without a doubt now you definitely did not know this person. He looked battle hardened and exhausted, far off from the vibrant sweet boy you remember.

“I hate to ask but can I shower here?” he said, breaking the silence between the two of you. 

“Oh yeah, do you need help?”

“No, I think I know how to shower.”

“I meant with the cut you perv.” you said, pushing his shoulder as you stood to grab a towel for him.

He giggled and nodded at you as he loudly ripped the elastic of what appeared to be a bullet proof vest that he was wearing. 

“Mrs. Cross is going to file a noise complaint if you don’t shut the hell up.” you said throwing a towel at him.

“I’ll get her some fucking flowers if it gets you out of this dump.” he said kicking his shoes off in the hallway, and you missed the following eyes of your former best friend as you made your way to the bedroom. 

10 minutes later he was standing in your doorway in the sweatpants you had set outside the door and fresh blood was leaking from the cut on his eyebrow. You grabbed the first aid kit from under your bed and made your way to the bathroom.

“Sit.” you said and pointed at the edge of the bathtub.

He happily obliged and waited on you. Removing the antiseptic ointment and sticky gauze you had planned to use on the cut you turned your attention back to the man in front of you. Being as gentle as possible you pulled his chin up so you could see the cut in a better light. It wasn’t deep enough to need stitches so what you had here would be fine. 

Reaching back to grab your supplies you tenderly helped Courtland, something you hadn’t been able to do in years. He surprisingly accepted it, you’re not sure if it was the exhaustion that he was suddenly wracked with or the fact that 10 years had really changed the people you both were. Nevertheless as soon as you finished he offered you a soft, “Thanks honey.” in his tired state.

Making your way to your bedroom you offered him the bed, and you were headed to take the small futon that sat in your living room. 

“You can stay here too, I won’t go anywhere near you.” He said as you got up to  leave.

“Courtland it's been too long I don’t..”

“Just shut up and lay down.” He said seeing the exhaustion on your face as well. 

You snuggled tightly on your side, almost feeling like you were in the same bed as a stranger, but then again you weren’t. You shifted towards the middle of the bed giving the all clear that if your bodies made contact on your small bed that night you would be okay. Then before you knew it, a strong arm was slung over your midsection dragging you into a deep sleep.

—

Cortland knew leaving this bed with the love of his life would be one of the hardest things he’d ever do. When the sun began to peak through the window in Y/N’s bedroom a deep sense of dread came to life. He didn’t mean to break into her apartment, it did look vacant to him, and now he was worried he may be putting her in danger.

But if he said he was happier than this beforehand he would be a liar. He had never felt more at peace and rested after a single night than this in a long time. Slowly unwrapping his arms from around Y/N’s sleeping body he tried his best not to wake her. 

Hoping he could slip out of her small apartment without waking her, he placed a gentle kiss on her forehead, hell, he never knew when he would see anyone from his past life that would solely call him Courtland instead of Six ever again. Grabbing his boots and vest he made his way to the kitchen and looked around. 

He had no money to buy her a halfway decent couch but he could leave a note and steal some wildflowers flowers from the field outside. Scribbling a few words on a notepad she had lying on the counter:

Morning honey,

Please don’t be mad at me for leaving without saying goodbye, I’ll fall into your tiny apartment again soon.

-CG

Placing a stick of gum next to his note and tiny flowers, Six slipped out the fire escape and back into his normal life once more. 

[arroganceisherfavoritecolor]

Dirty Little Secret

A/N: hello everyoneeee, this is my first oneshot fanfic on tumblr, which is a Rodrick Heffley x gn!reader, i hope u all enjoy!

warnings: cliche, probably words spelled wrong, bad grammer, swearing and thats about it!

----------------------------<3---------------------------------------------

RRRRRRR! Your phone went off, waking you up from your nap. you oponed it to see what it was, seeing a notification from your best friend, Rodrick. The message read;

"WAZZUP Y/N IM HAVING A PARTY AT MY HOUSE 2NIGHTTT

UR GONNA BE THERE RIGHT?? "

You smiled at the text. last time Rodrick tried pulling off a party without his parents knowing, he got into a LOT of trouble, so you kind of felt like warning him about the possible outcome, but decided to let him figure that out on his own. soon enough, you replied with:

"totally my little drummer boy ;))"

You and rodrick had been friends since your freshman year of highschool. you had first met when you saved him from getting his ass kicked, and ever since that day, you had started to grow feelings for him. he just made your heart fllutter, with his stupid little smirks, and the way his hazel eyes would randomly stare you down while in class.

it was all too much, in a good way.

RING RINGGG!

Your thoughts were shattered as you looked down to see an incoming call from Rodrick, sliding right you answered the call. "Hey doll face" said Rodrick through the phone. "Hola yeah boy." you and Rodrick had a little inside thing inspired by the song Yeah Boy And Doll Face by Pierce The Veil. Even though he used that stupid nickname in a sarcastic way, it still made you feel dizzy.

"What are ya up to?" says Rodrick. "Nothing much, what about you?" you reply, "Oh you know, just practicing for the party" Rodrick responds in a cocky tone. "Really? what song are you gonna be playing?" you ask, "Dirty Little Secret of course" said Rodrick. "Sweeeet, want me to come over early to help you set up?" you ask. "Naaaah its fine, thanks tho sugar" again with the nicknames. "Too bad, i'm gonna ask if i can go over" you respond. "Fine fine, i'll see you then Y/n" "adios.''

You then hung up.

After asking your parent if you could go to Rodricks, you threw on some clothes that were suitable for this occasion and headed out. You and Rodrick didn't live that far away from eachother, so you ended up just walking. You knocked on his front door, and soon heard banging footsteps coming from the garage area. "HEy Y/n, come on in" Rodrick said while aking your hand and leading you to his garage. "Hey Y/n" all of Rodricks band members said, they knew you had a thing for Rodrick, it was obvious after all.

"alright Y/n, we need you to be the judge of how we play today" said Rodrick. you nodded.

~Timeskip to after the (horrible) practice~

"So what do ya think Y/n???" rodrick asked, hoping for a positive response. "Um..you guys did good! Everyones gonna love it" you replied, causing Rodrick to nearly jump for joy. "Wait, what time is it?" asked one of Rodricks bandmates. you took your phone out of your pocket to check the time, "6:25" you answer. "OH SHIT EVERYONES GONNA BE HERE IN LIKE 5 MINUTES-" exclaimed Rodrick, only to be cut off by Greg and Rowley walking into the garage. "Whos gonna be here? oh and hi Y/n" Greg says. "None of your beeswax" said Rodrick, which made you lightly punch him in the shoulder. "Rodricks just having a small get together, but dont tell your parents" you said, you were always there to defend Greg from Rodrick being an ass. Greg nodded and went back to his room, Rowley following behind him. After that, everyone rushed to get the lights on and snacks out. soon, you heard a knock at the door, you checked the time; it was already 6:35. You answered the door, seeing multiple people from yours and Rodricks school. by the time it was 6:40, the house was packed with teenagers hoping for an awesome party. you heard the garage door open, making everyone go outside.

There he was, in all his glory, your little emo boy on the cement pavemant of a stage. Except he wasnt in the back with his drums like usual, he was in the front with the microphone. Singing wasnt exactly his forte, judging from what happened with heather hills that one time. He saw you staring and gave you a wink, which you giggled at. excitment filled everyone, as much as Rodricks banned kinda sucked, it was still pretty cool. Soon, the guitarist started, and then the drummer, then the bassist. A wide smiled spread across your face as the started to play the intro to Dirty Little Secret.

"Let me know what I've done wrong, when I've known this all along"

"I go around to tie my two, just to waste my time with you"

rodrick (very badly) sang into the microphone, you saw everyone slightly cringe.

"tell me all that you've thrown away"

"Find out games you dont wanna play"

"You are, the only one that needs to knooOOOW"

"I'LL KEEP YOU MY DIRTY LITTLE SECRET< AND DONT TELL ANYONE OR YOU'LL BE JUST ANOTHER REGRET (just another regret hope that you can keep it) MY DIRTY LITTLE SECRET. WHO HAS TO KNOW?"

Rodrick sang at the top of his lungs, his bandmates singing the adlibs.

"When we live such fragile lives, its the best way, we survive"

"I go around to tie my two, just to waste my time with you"

"Tell me all that you've thrown away, find out games you dont wanna play"

"You areee, the only one that needs to knooOOOWW"

"I"LL KEEP YOU MY DIRTY LITTLE SECRET, DONT TELL ANYONE OR YOU'LL BE JUST ANOTHER REGRET"

"MY DIRTY LITTLE SECRET, WHO HAS TO KNOW?"

"THE WAY SHE FEELS INSIDE"

"THOSE THOUGHTS I CANT DENY" "THESE SLEEPING DOGS WONT LIE" "AND ALL I'VE TRIED ITS TEARING ME APART'

"TRACE THIS LINE BAAAACK"

Rodrick saw you in the crowd, and looked deep into your eyes.

"i'll keep you my dirty little secret..dont tell anyone or you'll be just another regret"

"I'LL KeEP YOU MY DIRTY LITTLE SECRETTTT DONT TELL ANYoNE OR YOU'LL BE JUST ANOTHER REGRET MY DIRTY LITTLE SECRET DIRTY LITTLE SECRET DIRTY LITTLE SECRETTT WHO HAS TO KNOW? WHO HAS TO KNOOOoW!" Rodricks voice cracked up, which made you giggle. The crowd clapped at the silly performance. Soon after, everyone headed back inside to hang out and party.

You went up to Rodrick and told him how amazing he did. "Thanks Y/n" he said, blushing while looking down. Rodrick turned around and whispered something to his band, which made them smile and walk away. He looked back at you and said "Lets go to my room, yeah?" You silently nod, and follow him up the stairs towards his room.

Rodrick closed the door behind you, and sat you down on his bed.

"Uhm, y/n..i've been wanting to tell you this for a really long time now.." you put your hand on his, trying to calm his nerves, little did you know that made it worse. "i..i love you. i love you so much"

"Rodrick.." Your eyes widen, your cheeks heat up. You find those beautiful hazel eyes stare into yours, until they close of course. You copy Rodricks action and close your eyes. The both of you lean in and share a kiss long awaited. His lips are softer than they look, and he tastes like cherry lip balm. You both pull away and smile, blushing at the thought of what just happened.

"I thought your mom had told you to not kiss anyone with the door closed?" you ask. Rodrick smiles and says,

"I'll just keep it my dirty little secret."

--------------------------------<3-----------------------------------------

A/N: TYSM FOR READINGGG im sorry it took so long to come out, but at least its here now! ty again for reading! have a nice day/night<3

[ground-riot-jack]

Number 1 | K. Bakugou |

idk what this is man, an origin story maybe?? idk bakugou is an asshole and reader is a badass

The ratings where in, this is it, the big moment. After years of hard work and dedication, you’re finally about to find out if you made it the number Number 1 Hero Spot. You walk out on the stage with the other Top 5 heroes, one being your long term boyfriend, Bakugou. You’d been dating since highschool and worked at the same agency that he created.

“And for our number 2 Hero, we have...Ground Zero! Number 1... Angel! Thank you heroes for protecting and sacrificing your lives for us!” The announcer practically yelled at the large crowd of people.

You couldn’t believe it. You did it. You were the number 1 hero in all of Japan and your boyfriend was right behind you. The lights of the stage felt like power surging through your body. Your large white wings fluttered in excitement. You took your place at the number one podium and felt warm tears of joy stream down your face, you feel pata on your back and can hear congratulations swirling around but you can barely stand up straight.

Soon someone hands you a microphone, the crowd quieting down.

“Thank you all so much, I will work hard every single day until my body gives up to make sure this great nation is protected. I’ve worked very hard to get here so thank you all for recognizing my hard work and determination. I wanna thank Ground Zero, for being the best partner and for helping me get where I am. It won’t be easy but I will take this number 1 spot and wear it with pride. Thank you, i love you all” You spill out happily, you turn and grab onto Katsuki, hugging him and congratulating him on Number 2. You’d both climbed so high and so quickly since you’re UA days, it’s made you happy that you’ve come so far with the person you love most.

Bakugou however, didn’t look happy. It was extremely rare to see a smile on his face, but at the very least you’d expected his bored face. But now, he looked angry. He looked like he was ready to level the city withy he scowl pressed on his face.

“babe, what’s wrong? you good?” You grab his large bicep, getting him to look at you. His bright red eyes snap to yours and you feel locked in with how much animosity they hold.

“I’m ready to go home” He spits out before turning and walking back to the car you’d both arrived in.

You took a few more pictures with fans before following your grumpy boyfriend. As soon as you sat in the car, you could feel the tension thick in the air.

“Ok seriously babe, what the hell is wrong? We got the top spots, that’s amazing!” You turn towards him as the driver head back to your place.

“It’s nothing” He managed to say through his teeth with his are locked together with how tight he’s clenching his jaw.

“It’s something, you’re getting ready to blow this car up”

“I said it’s nothing, Angel” He speaks, the name oozing in malice and anger. Suddenly it clicked.

“You’re jealous that I got the number one spot while you got number two. jesus christ katsuki, could you be any more pessimistic. Why can’t you just be happy for me that i’ve reached a goal i’ve been trying to get my whole life? Number two is in no way shape or form bad.” You huff and fall back against the seat, you watch Bakugou clench and unclench his fists while staring out the window.

“I have to be number one and be better than All Might” He growls quietly, you knew it was a somewhat sensitive subject, but you couldn’t believe your ears.

“All might? Katsuki, you’re 23 years old, you can’t truly expect to be better than All Might right now? All might wasn’t even this good at this age yet, you’re way ahead of schedule. You can’t be happy for me because you wanna be better at 22 years old than All Might was in his prime? You’re delusional katsuki.”

“I HAVE TO BE NUMBER ONE”

“THATS FINE BUT WHY CANT YOU BE HAPPY THAT TOUR GIRLFRIEND IS NUMBER ONE?”

“BECAUSE IT SHOULD BE ME”

“so you think I don’t deserve this katsuki? You think what? I haven’t worked hard enough? I’m nor strong enough? I’m not good enough? WHAT IS IT KATSUKI? Why don’t I deserve to be number one? Why do you think your were unfairly judged?”

You both stared at each other in silence for a while, anger boiling into the atmosphere. You understood the only thing that drove bakugou in highschool was his need to be number one. You were both adults now, and you were in love with each other. You’d hoped that you’d made a big enough impact on bakugou that your life and love together would be enough of a motivator to be great, the way it was with you.

You felt that car pull into your large home, and immediately jumped out, racing up to your shared bedroom. You got out of your hero costume and into leggings and a tank top. You took off all your makeup and picked the confetti out of your wings. You looked up as Bakugou walked in the room.

“Im not sorry that I’m not settling for number two, I never will and you know it, but i am sorry for yelling at you and the way I acted.” Katsuki grumbled while looking at the floor. Usually, his awkward and hesitant apologies warmed your heart and made you gush at how cute your angry boyfriend was, but now you find yourself staying angry.

“That’s not an apology katsuki. You refuse to be happy for me, even though you promised you would be. You refuse to even acknowledge how much work I put into this to be number one. I am THE youngest Hero to hit number one and you can’t even say good job babe. Instead you get angry and jealous and mean because it wasn’t you. Never mind the fact that you jumped from 10 to 2 which is THE biggest jump anyone’s seen in years bakugou. You won’t even let yourself be happy at what you’ve done, because you’re too busy being jealous” You poke his chest, finally standing in front of him.

“It’s not a bad thing to want to be the best” He crosses his arms, getting defensive.

“Of course not babe, I want you to be the best too. So why don’t you want me to be the best?”

“It’s not that, it’s-“

“It’s what Katsuki?”

“I made a promise to myself-”

“YOU MADE A PROMISE TO ME KATSUKI. You gave me this fucking promise ring and told me that you you’re gonna support me no matter what. That we were gonna work hard to get to where we need to go and we were gonna do it together. You promised me you’d be by my side. That’s the difference between us babe. You need to be number one for yourself, I need to be number one for us. You’ve forgotten that” You wipe your tears and move around the tall man in your way. It hurt that Katsuki couldn’t see this was bigger than his highschool days. This was your life together. You hadn’t spoken to All Might or even Midoriya in years, so why was it so hard for him to accept you as a permanent part of his life.

“Baby, i’m sorry I just. I get one track minded and I was so hopeful that this was finally the day. I needed so bad to be number one-“

“THIS IS NO LONGER ABOUT BEING NUMBER ONE KATSUKI, THIS IS ABOUT HOW YOU CANT SEE THAT YOURE TREATING ME LIKE A SIDE CHARACTER. I AM YOUR GIRLFRIEND!! For fucks sake katsuki, we live, work, sleep, eat do and do everything together, so the fact that I’m not even one of the reasons you go out and do what you do hurts because this” You pause and gestured to everything around you. “This is the reason I wake up every morning, you are the reason I fight crime and your reason is, a childhood rivalry. You’re am adult now, you’re supposed to be friends with midoriya and all might and you’re supposed to be over this whole thing. This isn’t supposed to be the thing that drives you. I’m not saying I have to be too of the list but it would be nice to be on the list” You sigh and look at your boyfriend. You knew this wasn’t healthy to yell at each other like this, but you needed him to understand where you’re coming from.

“Baby, Of course you’re my reason for waking up and being a hero, I would do anything to protect you, it’s just I always pictured me at Number 1 with my agency and you and a family. I have a need, a primal urge to be number one and that’s never going to change. Doesn’t mean i don’t love your dumbass”

“Well I’m number one Katsuki, and I earned the hell out of it. I worked my ass off day and night for weeks and months and years so that I could have this. And to see you pout and complain and look me in my face and tell me you don’t think I deserve this spot hurts more than some cute little apology where you call me dumbass lovingly. So i’ll ask you again, why don’t you think I deserve this spot? What makes you better?” You squinted your eyes at the tall man and clench your jaw.

“Im physically stronger-“ You interrupt your boyfriend by grabbing his arm and kicking his legs out from under him, using your wings to flip him over in his back, pinning him down.

“You’re so close minded katsuki, that you don’t even know what i’ve. been doing for the past 8 months. I an the number one hero you think i didn’t train to be stronger than everyone around me?” You ask, hurt laced in your voice.

“Fine, you deserve this spot. You’re the best.”

“You dont meant that, I’m gonna make you fucking mean it Katsuki. One day you’re gonna see me and i’m gonna be the best and you’re gonna be in awe of my power and then you’ll finally see that i deserve this.” You push off of him and stand up your wings tucking close to your body.

“Just-give me a week babe. I promise I’ll make it up to you and I’ll show you I am happy for you, it’s just difficult being let down like this. I’m a sore loser and you know it.” Bakugou grabs your shoulder and pulls you close to his chest.

“You haven’t even said you’re proud of me yet. or that you love me. or even good job katsuki. You don’t believe i’m your heart that i deserve this do you?” You look at him, heart in your throat.

“I believe I should be number one. Every time.” Katsuki mutters in your hair like it was a compliment. You push him back, rage filling your body.

“You’re fucked up katsuki. I’m fucking leaving” You spit, throwing on a jacket and shoes, heading towards your front door.

“Where the hell are you going?!” Bakugou snarls as you move past him.

“Katsuki, I love you with every fiber of my soul, but right now looking at your face makes me wanna throw you across town and beat the shit out of you. I’ll be back tomorrow maybe” You mumble the last part, not really sure how long you wanna be away from your hot headed boyfriend.

“you can’t just fucking leave y/n, how do you expect to be number one of you can’t even stay and win a fight against your boyfriend.” Katsuki let’s out a dry laugh, causing you to turn away from your front door.

You lunge at Katsuki, ready to punch him until he understands you’re the number one hero. You two roll around fighting and spewing things typically reserved for villains. Bakugou pins you down on the floor, his knee on your chest and his hands holding both your wrists beside your head. You close your eyes and focus all your energy into your chest, a faint ball of white light glows from your heart. Ktsuki looks at it with realization before the energy is expelled from you and your boyfriend is sent flying across the living room.

“You did not just use Power Surge on me.” He growls. wiping the sweat from his brow.

“I did, and i’m fucking leaving and your not gonna say shit or so help me god katsuki, i will shoot a beam of light so bright and hot that you wake up blind, burnt and fucking single.” You use your wings to send you flying straight to your front door, you look back at your confused boyfriend once more before taking to the sky.

Bakugou began the cleaning process, shocked and confused. Why didn’t you understand he wants to be happy for you, he truly does, but his pride won’t let him get away with not winning. He decided to let you fly off to calm down for the night, opting to call and talk to Kirishima. The two friends ended up talking for a bit longer than expected, bakugou trying to get kiri on his side, not his girlfriends. It didn’t work however, Kirishima understood that bakugou would let his emotions cloud his mind, even when it came to you. By the end of the conversation, bakugou was almost has heated as he was while fighting you. He concluded the best option was to head to his agency and train for the night.

He arrived and decided to do some things around the office before heading to the training and workout wing of his large building. While going thru last minute files, there’s a knock on his door.

“Ground Zero, i wasn’t expecting you to be here so late.” A stranger smiles in Bakugou face as he opens his office door, his secretary smiling sheepishly.

“Who the hell are you?” He cocks his head and tries to figure it out before he’s told, one of those weird habits he’s picked up being a hero.

“My apologies. I’m Niko Takeyama, I work for the Hero Commission. How would you like to be the number one hero by this time next month.”

[ushiwakaout]

I just read your story about kenma as a husband and im OBSESSED. Can you do the same but with Kuroo please! I love them both and i cant chose so- :)))

I cant choose either don’t worry (i’m a kenma kinny so like... you know)

HUSBAND KUROO IS A BLESSING GOD

let’s just say you’re a highschool teacher

for the sake of the headcannon, you wear glasses to read

very outgoing

very flaunty husband

very flirty, acts as if you guys aren’t married and still trying to reel you into his hook

Wakes up very very early

Maybe like 5 am, works out, rare occasion will wake you up too if he’s feeling like a jerk

if he doesn’t wake you up, he’s back from his run and he’s bought you flowers, will willingly cut his run short so he doesn’t ruin the flowers

KUROO IS AN AMAZING COOK

does not look like it tho, first time he cooked for you- wow, crazy good

breakfast in bed when you have the day of (which are weekends)

Kuroo doesn’t have a day off but his mornings are always free, for you and you only.

He’s the type of husband who you catch making breakfast and he’s dancing, wearing a kiss your sempai apron

“oh no no, you go back to bed, i’m making you breakfast, shoo.”

will tap your ass so you leave the kitchen faster

his brain malfunctions just a lil in the kitchen when realized that you’re only wearing his button up and his button up only

blushing mess while cooking

HE GETS A LITTLE SHY FOR NO REASON WHEN HES BRINGING YOU BREKFAST

You’re fully awake and already looking through homework with you’re cute little glasses that make your eyes look a little bit bigger

he’s so in awe with you, he puts the little breakfast tray over you and kisses your nose

“Goodmorning sweets.”

Doesn’t call you kitten but calls you sweety, sweets, sugar, shortcake. HONEY, SUNSHINE.

He will not bother you if you’re doing paperwork

Believe it or not Kuroo very much likes peace and quiet

because you know, his bed head is bc hed cover his ear w his hair to try and muffle out his parents arguing sorry

Will not argue with you

PHYSICALLY WILL NOT AS MUCH AS HE WANTS TO

you could be yelling at him over something (most likely because kuroo is def burnt out a little and gets no sleep) and you’re just looking up at him and he can’t look away

Will say something like “You look so beautiful.”

My heart just broke a little- Kuroo can’t argue back with you because he knows you’re right most of the time

you’ll find him asleep on his desk at 2am bc you miss cuddling and the mother fucker still wakes up at 5

will show up to your classroom with a bouquet of [favorite flowers] and all the girls in the class start squealing

kisses you behind the flowers

will plant his forehead in yours and whisper “I love you.” before apologizing and dismissing himself

this rich cocky mother fucker will also surprise you on your birthday, which would end up on a weekday.

YOURE CLASSROOM IS FULL OF FLOWERS

EVERY DESK FOR THE BOYS/GIRLS/NONB and they get to keep them

TEACHERS ARE ENVIOUS, especially the women maybe the men are too, ya never know.

he’s a certified sub teacher bc you get sick easily and will cover for you while someone covers for him at work bc he’s like- light years ahead of his work (that’s why he’s so burnt out)

SICK KUROO IS PROBABLY THE SADDEST AND MOST ADORABLE THING

It gets pretty bad when he’s late for work one day and he’s like rushing to get ready and he gets a nose bleed

he’s freaking out and you’re like “baby lay down, you have a fever, please.”

“Fever? What the fuck is a fever, never heard of them, now let me go to work.”

“Honey, don’t make me any soup, your cooking isn’t as good as mine.”

“No get away from me, i don’t want you getting sick.”

“I wanna kiss you so bad right now, give me you’re hand.”

“I love you so much, you know that right?”

Once he’s out of his fever will take you out to dinner as a thank you

Buys you a new outfit for your outing and it’s like “Kuroo come on- i don’t need this.”

“Well i need you to have it, if you complain- then you don’t love me.”

“fine....”

very jealous man, if someone eyes you

very very handsy

hand has to be on your ass, lower back, hip, holding your hand. he gotta be touching you somehow

ESPECIALLY IN WORK OUTINGS

whole new outfit again

would probably fuck you in the venue bathroom but we don’t talk about that

if he gets drunk he’s actually the opposite

he’s not horny or handsy

he gets all cute and shy and a little awkward

Will forget your his spouse and be like “No! You see this ring, that’s right! I’m married and to the most sexiest bitch you know- That’s right i called my spouse a bitch, what about it. She’s a bad bitch.”

this mother fucked have you a ruby ring, you can’t tell me otherwise.

something simple but very pretty

he’d probably think you stole your own ring

“Hey! That’s my spouses give me that”

“Kuroo I. AM. YOUR. SPOUSE. LOOK AT ME!”

squints bc this motherfucker actually needs glasses “BABY!! There was some crazy person, who looked just like you! Same exact ring and everything.”

“Baby that was me, you called me a bad bitch.”

“Yeah? Am i wrong? or?”

Big cuddler

Will kiss you everywhere

“Baby, kenma hasn’t called me today, does he hate me?”

“No kuroo.”

“Are you sure?”

“Baby i’m sure.”

You make kenma come the next day because you know Kuroo needs his bestie

they get drunk

Kenma gets cuddly too

they will sleep on the floor together

You make kuroo cary kenma to bed bc he things it’s you and he sleeps w him

wakes up to yell at you and very hung over

“Sometimes i think you wish i married kenma.”

“You’re not wrong.”

OVERALL kuroo as a husband is... *chef kiss*