#the only ts song they usually play are the singles | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

rulerofstars · 4 years

Note

do you write in modern!au? i have an idea about an angst of him confessing/proposing to his s/o but because they were too shocked, he thought he was being rejected and he left them, (cutting their contacts off and such) then they meet again after some time coincidentally and they got to talk about it and his s/o got to finally answer him (sorry if its too long!)

Le quattro Stagioni

Pairing: Levi Ackerman x (Fem) Reader

Genre & Warnings: Modern AU, angst, fluff, swearing, mentions of alcohol

Word count: 4,950 words

Angel: I am so sorry this took so long, anon. Thank you so much for requesting, I hope you enjoy this one. Play the songs in order upon seeing the little hearts (♡) that I’ll put, but only if you guys want. All the love.

Songs:

Two is Better than One by Boys Like Girls

Back to December by Jake Coco (or TS)

You and Me by Lifehouse

The tepidity of June danced along the slightly cool breeze that blew a few strands of your hair away from your face. Numerous messages from Hanji made your phone go almost crazy and overwhelmed by the bombardment of notifications. Several questions about what would you wear, what time will you go, or should they pick you up.

A sigh escaped your lips upon opening your apartment door, the cold feeling of being alone grazed your cheek, sending shivers down your spine even though it was summer. Walking to your room, you grabbed the makeup pouch on top of the dining table along the way, replying to your friend’s messages.

Tonight is a special one. After five long years, a highschool reunion is initiated and organized by a few of your batchmates, and the venue is at a small garden event place—where everyone experienced their first prom when in third year. Your lips formed a smile upon the memories brought by the sudden reminisce, it was your first everything.

♡

Highschool is a period where people often experience every kind of shit an individual has to go through to enjoy their teenage years. We get drunk, we smoke—well not everyone, but a majority has tried taking one drag and regretting it afterwards, we lie to our parents, we cut classes. It doesn’t always happen to everyone, and not every single person can relate, but the point is, highschool brought us to situations we never knew we could get through. It introduced us to unfamiliar feelings, it gave us the chance to quench the curiosity that formed within the depths of our minds.

It doesn’t always happen to everyone in high school, but in your case, you fell in love.

Being friends with Hanji allowed you to become one with their own circle, too. The ever so responsible Erwin, Mike, Nanaba, Moblit—Hanji’s best friend, and you didn’t know if they noticed but there’s something else in the man’s eyes whenever he stares at Hanji, and of course, Levi. . . Every single one of them had their own idiosyncrasies, and it wasn’t hard to get along with them, especially with the man with the jet-black hair and slanted eyes.

As a transferee from another school, you chose to go along their group, because being with them makes you feel at ease. They weren’t intimidating at all, Levi was, at first, but their warmth and how they welcomed you in their circle will never be forgotten by your heart.

Everyone has their own “partner in crime”, except for Erwin who could ace high school on his own, but he did help anyone who needed a hand, and because of his duties as a class president, he doesn’t always have the chance to mingle with you guys. And so every time you had afterschool shenanigans, Mike and Nanaba would have their own little world, Hanji would be blabbering their rants to Moblit, sometimes Erwin too, if he’s not too busy with his responsibilities, and you are often left with Levi. It’s not that you hated it—you never hated it.

“Do you want me to walk you home?” He asked, one day. It was three months after being friends with you when he first held your hand, just because an over-speeding car almost hit you while you were walking your way towards our house. His hand felt nice on yours, and the concern that dwelled in his eyes was enough to make your frail heart dance with the crispy, orange leaves.

It was in the final term of first year when the attraction towards him grew into a little crush and little did you know how he became more fond of you than he did with the others, too.

“Do you want me to get you soup?” The busy cafeteria was filled with hungry students, lunch time only allows you to have your break within an hour. Yes, fuck school, but thank God the canteen wasn’t so far away.

“Yep,” You answered, while waiting outside of the line as you waited for Levi to finish ordering your food while you held his bag, and the utensils.

“Go find us a chair, I’ll come to you.” His bored eyes darted onto yours, nodding his head, insisting that you should go and sit. Hanji and the others found you soon after being separated for a while, they sat anywhere but the seat in front of you. Because, it’s Levi’s spot if it is across yours, and nobody can change that.

The unexpected bond of you and him had grew into a light sense of puppy love, and you really didn’t have a clue about what you were feeling, but it did feel right, he felt right.

“Do you like Levi?” Nanaba interrogated you one time when she and Hanji had a sleepover at your house, and a sleepover isn’t one if you would not talk about crushes and such. Apparently, something is really going on in between her and Mike, and she talked about how it all began in middle school. Hanji, apparently, is too caught up with fictional creatures like Titans, and they spoke about not having time for crushes.

“Yeah, do you like him? Because he liiiikes you,” They teased and you brushed it off, avoiding the question by changing the topic immediately.

“Don’t be silly.” You laughed.

Of course, of course you did.

He is the snowflakes of your winters.

It was the autumn of sophomore, when you first went into Levi’s house, along with your friends, of course. You met his lovely mom who welcomed you warmly and cooked the nicest food you’ve ever tasted outside of your house, and then you met his uncle who acts as if he’s always drunk and calls Levi a little runt.

“Tch,” Kuchel showed you his baby pictures, and you stared at his annoyed face, picturing if he had not cut his long, dark hair. Maybe he could tie it into a manbun? “Mom, stop that.” You laughed, amused how he managed to snatch the album away from the grip of his mother as he ran towards his room while everyone giggled because of his reaction.

“That brat was never the friendly type, we’re glad you were able to adopt him to your group,” Kenny snorted. Behind his harsh words were a sense of gratitude, you knew that Levi’s uncle may appear as harsh at first, but he was kind, and you were pretty sure where Levi got his attitude from.

Kuchel patted the top of your heads before sending you off that day, thanking you for how well you treated Levi, “You take care of my son, okay?” She said, and it might have appeared as usual to others, but not to you. You’d never forget how she looked into your eyes the moment she spoke, as if she was pertaining to you.

What you thought was puppy love had bloomed into something deeper, something stronger, more serious, and bigger than the both of you.

-----

It was the spring of junior year when you first made out. His room was dimly lit, the curtains were closed, his bed was soft, his tongue on yours—and how you wrapped your arms around his neck just to pull him closer to your body.

The seasons flew by quickly, you knew how well your heart and mind begs for him, and he is well aware about how a single touch of you could make him falter. You weren’t dumb, and it wasn’t that hard to figure it out, what was hard was to admit.

“What do you feel about me?” You asked, staring into his eyes and getting lost within the ardor the dwells upon his irises whenever he looks at you. “Do you love me, Levi?”

You would never forget how his ears turned red at that moment, placing soft kisses on your face while holding you in his arms, never ready to let go. “Tch, what do you think?”

“I think you do, too.” You smiled, pressing your lips against his and closing your eyes, feeling his warm breath on your face, his long eye lashes against your skin, and the scent you’ve grown fond of for years.

His eyes trailed to the necklace he gave you at prom, tracing the cold silver chain that rested upon the smoothness of your neck, “Then why’d you ask?”

And he would never forget how your eyes gleamed when he told you that, as if every star in the universe exploded and the smithereens fell onto your face. “I’m right, then?”

“Mhm.”

“I just want to hear you say it,” You pouted, kissing on his forehead and studying the cosmos in his eyes. You have always wondered how his eyes looked so pretty whenever you stare at them, never had you noticed how it only dazzles that way just because he is looking at you.

“I am in love with you.”

And it’s just a matter of time when the both of you realized that “you and me” was meant to be an “us.”

Everyone knew about your relationship when you were in high school, you were a power couple, lowkey but sweet. You never fail to capture almost everyone’s attention whenever you do the slightest things, hold each other’s bags, when you give him your food, when you share food, when you share a smile, most especially when you took every breath away at your first dance in prom. The relationship was private, but it shook everyone’s world. You kept things to the both of you, leaving people extremely curious about it.

The graduation was emotional, almost everyone was crying while they hugged their friends. And tears were flowing from your face, too, while Hanji and the others enveloped you into a group hug.

“I’m going to miss you all, oh my God.” They cried.

“There, there, it’s okay.” Erwin shushed them, earning a glare from your brunette friend.

“Shut up! You’re lucky you’d be going to the same university as Levi and Mike!”

You shook your head at them, spotting your boyfriend and walking towards where he is. A small smile formed on his lips upon seeing you approaching.

“Hey,” You smiled, kissing his cheek. Good thing, the lipstick you’ve used is waterproof.

“We made it, huh?” He kissed your forehead, and seldom are the times that he is willing to be affectionate in public. You closed your eyes for a while and caressed his cheek gently.

“We did,” You grinned, reaching out to his palm and intertwining your fingers together. “Hold my hand?”

He let out a light chuckle, and you swore, you fell in love a bit more. “Always.”

While you are the flowers of his spring.

♡

Just like how high school was, college flew by quickly. After years of being emotionally, physically, and mentally drained, you couldn’t believe how you managed to reach the last year of suffering. You wouldn’t lie, but the pressure and the amount of knowledge you’ve compressed into your brain made you doubt yourself. The path towards reality was extremely horrifying, and you felt like you couldn’t take it. You doubted your own capabilities to the point wherein you almost didn’t believe in yourself anymore.

It was the winter of senior year when Levi asked you one question that almost made your heart stop.

The snow fell from the empyrean that day, the heater felt useless because of the extreme cold that crept upon the spaces of your apartment. Your boyfriend was there while you burned your eyebrows trying to work on your final requirement.

You wouldn’t lie if you would say that the stress that had been introduced to the both of you didn’t put a space between him and you. Numerous quarrels have made you stronger, but this. . . it was as if you’re aware that you are drifting apart, and you weren’t doing anything about it, and fuck how it scared you. You wouldn’t lie if you were to say that the love wasn’t as warm as it used to, it wasn’t as fluttery as before, and you understood that it could be because of college. But the thought of letting go of the man that you love just because you are so damn scared of opening up teared your heart to pieces, and so you made your mind.

“C-can we talk?” You asked, approaching Levi who sat on your couch while scrolling through his phone. He nodded, standing up and following you to the dining table where all of your papers and laptop sat, while you shivered underneath the sweater that you stole from him.

“I have to tell you something,” Your hands gripped the hem of the sweater tight, while your boyfriend lean against the backrest of the chair.

“Yeah, me too.” The coldness of his voice added to the ice that formed because of the freezing weather. Was he this cold or were you not used to anymore?

“I-”

“Marry me.”

The ice struck your core like a billow enraged with fury and no mercy. You couldn’t speak nor react as your stared at him while time remained suspended in the frost. Your mind could not process his question, and confusion glazed your eyes while your heart pounded like crazy. The grip of your hand against the hem of the sweater weakened while you couldn’t believe what you just heard.

You thought he’s calling it off. You thought he was going to break up with you, you fucking thought you were done. But you are so taken aback that you can’t even talk. You sat frozen until seconds turned into minutes. You were sandwiched in the conundrum of stress, pressure, anxiety, and doubt.

“I see,” The words that left his mouth struck you in a different way as you watched his body walk out of your apartment. You wanted to scream, to punch yourself, to hurt yourself for not being able to function. You are trembling, but not because of the cold. A part of your soul shivered upon trying to understand what just happened.

“O-oh, my God.” You whispered, rushing outside without even bothering to put on more clothing. Winter’s kiss felt like a ghost on your skin as you sat in the middle of your snow-coated staircase, seeing how he had already gone.

Trepidation slowly crushed your heart as hot tears trickled from your eyes, down your face. Realization crept in the depths of your system as you understood that what caused you to be terrified never involved anything about the future, you’re not crying because he left, because whenever he does, he always comes back to you. What scared you the most, was how he felt before leaving. It felt like goodbye.

-----

The summer dress fitted your body perfectly, putting on a small smile while staring at yourself in the mirror. After some time, you finally finished getting ready. Pink stained your juicy lips, and you topped it off with a gloss. A spritz of perfume, earrings, mascara, everything felt like complete but deep inside, you knew that something was missing.

Your eyes darted on your neck, that is why, feeling nothing around your neck was weird, because you were so used to wearing the necklace that he gave you back when you were in high school. Sighing, you found yourself opening one of your drawers and taking out the necklace once again, you never threw it away, how could you? You just stopped wearing it. Cold and pretty, it sat on your skin. It never looked weary despite how old it was, because you took good care of it. You took good care of the presents Levi gave you.

Memories of how you broke down and how Hanji and Nanaba hugged you so tight while you sat in the middle of Levi’s empty apartment tore a piece of your heart once again. How you begged Erwin and Mike to help you with finding Levi, but they were clueless, too. It hurt so much, he left without a word, cut everything off, he was gone in the wind, and never in your life had you been so confused, so hurt, desperate for answers, desperate for chances.

Before thoughts of him could fill your mind, you forced yourself to think of something else. It has been six months since then, but you would be lying if you were to say that you don’t miss him. Because in reality, you fucking do.

A doorbell woke you out of your daze, “Coming!” You shouted, double-checking everything before heading out the door. Various thoughts filled your mind upon seeing the staircase that was once buried in deep, white, snow.

“Come in, girl!” Nanaba shouted from the backseat, and you smiled upon seeing their bright faces. In the front was Mike, and Moblit’s in the passenger seat, Hanji and Nanaba sat next to each other in the backseat, squishing you in a tight hug once you got in. You missed this so much, it has been so long. You never imagined that you could cherish a friendship like this, one that could last long. One that is worthwhile.

The garden is filled with various decorations inspired by the summer. Flowers of different kinds greeted your vision, every decoration turned the same, old, and boring venue into a decent one. You smiled at every familiar face you’ve encountered with, grinning awkwardly whenever they asked you about Levi, and your heart ache. You sought for answers, and they were never given to you.

“Where’s Erwin?” You were curious about the blonde man’s whereabouts, he’s probably busy with work. He immediately got into a company after graduating. You were in their graduation, and Levi wasn’t there. Thoughts of how you panicked that day filled your mind once again, how you cried to Erwin and Mike, telling them how you’ve ruined Levi’s life. But they were comforting, telling you how the man could have transferred when in the final semester in the last minute. Still, everything’s just a possibility, you didn’t know.

Hanji scrolled through their phone, “Probably late because he’s busy,” They answered, looking at you to check if you are okay. Their hand caressed the exposed skin of your shoulder, sending comforting warmth to fight against the cold of the night. “I’m sorry if everyone’s asking about. . .” They trailed off, and you smiled at them, assuring them that it is okay, even though it’s not. How the fuck will it be okay?

Nanaba hugged you from the side while you were sitting, you leaned your head against their shoulder, letting a few tears fall from your pretty eyes.

“I’m sorry, it’s just how they knew you. . .” She whispered, caressing your back, “You’re (Y/N) of Levi.” A bitter laugh escaped your mouth as you chewed on your bottom lip.

“Hey, don’t talk like that,” You giggled, forcing the tears to stop. Mike handed you a glass of water that he fetched from the mobile bar, and you thanked him, carefully drinking from the cup. “Thank you, for being with me.”

“Always.”

Everyone had fun with games and such, the food was great, you had to go back to the buffet table two times, not minding your diet for the night. It was in the middle of the program when Erwin came, nodding at the men and hugging you girls.

“What did I miss?”

“Everything, dude. Where the fuck did you came from? Narnia?”

The spotlight is suddenly on Erwin, shocking the man who is currently eating the food Moblit got for him while he was gone, the Microphone person, Oluo, decided to interrogate Erwin, being the class valedictorian of your batch. People laughed when he was forced to take one shot of pure tequila before making a short speech first. You weren’t sure if Erwin was one of those who organized the event, but he did told you that he was added into a groupchat by a person from another section—you think Nile was the name.

Erwin was indeed, super late when you realized that it is time to for the most fun part of every prom you had in high school—the party portion. The man ate first before he joined your group’s rowdy-ass partying, you had fun as if you were back in your teenage years, except, you had unlimited alcohol this time. You’re pretty sure that either Hanji or Mike would come home late because those two doesn’t know the word limit.

Amidst the part where everyone’s being wild, from disco music to cheesy ones that you actually danced to when you were. . .

♡

A few couples filled the dancefloor, as others went to the mobile bar, ready to get drunk. It was one of your favorite love songs which played, as if it’s mocking you for not having your long-time partner. It’s mocking you for being single, fuck, you don’t even know if you are single or not.

Your boys formed a circle, they always do this every time a sweet song plays from the blasting speakers, mimicking a cotilion, but jumping to the part where everyone switches partners by forming a circle. You get partnered with Mike first, making funny faces to him like how you used to when you were young, and as he twirled you around, you found your self in the gentleman’s arms—Moblit, he told you how pretty you looked as he let you spin, passing you onto Erwin.

His eyes darted on the necklace on your neck, smiling upon the sight of the familiar jewelry, “You look beautiful tonight,” He told you, swaying you along the rhythm of the music. Your lips formed a slight smile, knowing that the reason of his stare is because of the necklace. “Don’t even think about teasing me, Erwin I swear I’ll punch-”

“Woah, easy there, I won’t do that to you.” He laughs at your glare, this man is probably drunk, you thought. While the two never knew their limits, Erwin’s a fucking weakling when it comes to alcohol. He twirled you around with so much force that you ended up not being catched by Mike and so you closed your eyes and braced yourself for the impact, but you didn’t fall.

Warm hands caught your frail body, whoever it was wrapped their hands around you, and between the the searing touches of this stranger, you felt yourself froze, feeling the familiarity of the unfamiliar touch. The clean, musk scent that had you enticed and whipped for years is recognized by your system.

There’s something about you now. . .

His warm hands embraced you like he used to while you get lost within the music that you first danced to.

I can’t quite figure out.

“I missed you.” He whispered, and you couldn’t open your eyes. You buried your faces within his chest, and how you also fucking missed it.

While various emotions filled your core, the tears that failed to escape your eyes before the party started, found their way back into your tear ducts. You didn’t know what to feel, how to feel, what to think, you are once again clueless while you let yourself drown within his touch.

Everything she does is beautiful.

But one thing is for sure.

Everything she does is right.

You are glad that he’s back.

He is the chill that makes you shiver when autumn comes by.

“F-fuck you. . .” You cried, sobbing onto his shirt and gripping onto the fabric. Levi’s hands caressed your back, pressing you closer, harder onto his chest. Fury crept upon every crevice of your heart, but you can’t let him go, you’re scared to let him go.

The love that you have for this man is so tremendous, that you can’t stand to hate him. Slowly, you felt yourself being pulled away from the crowd of dancing couples, distance made the music sound so soft, and the only sound that blasted you to bits was the sound of your heart beats with his.

“I hate you, I fucking hate you, how dare you—how fucking dare you!” Your fists came in contact with his hard chest, the feelings you have kept to yourself for six fucking months blasted like a waterfall. The force was too much, and you let yourself get carried out. Just this once.

His soft eyes never left your tipsy state, you were perfect. Still perfect.

Levi gladly took every punch you threw, every curse you spat, every slap you gave, because nothing could ever deny the fact that he deserved it. He was so fucking dumb, as Erwin and Mike told him.

“Leaving after proposing? Are you a sick fuck? Who does that?”

He received words from his friends after knowing what happened between the both of you. Curses, advices from Erwin, words from Hanji, the disapproval of Moblit, Mike’s punches, Nanaba’s disbelief.

“How d-dare you leave me! Y-you told me you won’t leave me. Fuck you, I-I love you. . .why did you leave me. . . Y-you know that I hate it when you leave me.” You sobbed, not knowing if you should continue hurting him or if you should go and hug him.

Levi’s lips pressed softly against your forehead, holding you tight, under the unforgiving solstice of the night.

“I almost failed my major. . .” He whispers, hugging the vulnerable you, while he buried half of his face onto the crook of your neck. And fuck, how he had missed this, how he fucking missed everything about you. “I never told you, because I know how anxious you were. . . I don’t want to become a burden.”

Your breathing was unsteady as you choked on words you could never say because of what he just said, your grip on his shirt tightened as you felt more tears streaming down your pretty face.

“I felt us drifting apart. . .and fuck, it scared me, (Y/N),” He paused, breathing deeply and running his fingers through your hair. “And when you asked if we could talk, I thought you wanted us done. So I asked you to marry me.”

His warm hands found their way to caress your tear-soaked face as he brought his face closer to yours, staring deeply into your eyes. “And I really wanted to marry you, baby. Fuck, I even had the shitty ring with me that time. . .” He gulped, biting his lip upon seeing the pain in your eyes. He could feel how fast your heart beats, he could feel the ache you’ve gone through for six months. “But I freaked out, And I really thought I. . . I already lost you.” He closed his eyes, he couldn’t bare seeing you cry because of him again.

“Erwin told me that I don’t deserve you, and I realized that really fucking don’t.” The cold wind kissed your skin, contrasting the heat that his body radiates. Steel grey eyes you have fell in love with years ago and until now darted on the silver necklace that sat pretty on your skin, and how it made his heart pound faster that it does. “But I am in love with you. . . The six fucking months, I’ve spent all of it trying to make myself a better man for you.”

His eyes, the gloss that reflected the beauty of the moon stared into yours once again. It’s been a while since you’ve seen the way his eyes look more pretty whenever you stare at him, because it has been a while since he last saw you.

“And whatever decision you are going to make, I will accept.” He whispered, pressing a soft kiss on your tear-stained face once again. “I am in love with you.” A small smile formed on his lips, as if he was already assuming that you’d leave him, and you hated that smile, you hated everything.

As if you fucking could.

“Marry me.” You muttered.

Gone was the fragility that dwelled upon your starry eyes, every doubt, every question, every ounce of fear that once settled deep inside your heart vanished along every meteor that crashed into the abyss of nothingness. Gone was the hate, gone was everything else except for the both of you.

‘Cause it’s you and me, and all of the people, and I don’t know why, I can’t keep my eyes off of you.

He nodded at you, speechless upon your sudden question. And he knew that this is right, he is sure. He is sure of you.

“I’m sorry.” His kisses sent butterflies and made you grew flowers on every inch of your body as he carefully slipped a ring on your ring finger. “I will make it up to you.” His words are coated with finality, and your heavy-lidded eyes felt warm once again, his slender fingers wiped the corner of your eyes before the tears could stain your face once more.

“D-don’t you leave me again.” You choked, admiring the ring that he got you. It fitted perfectly on your finger, just like how your hand fits perfectly with his.

“I’ll stay with you, always.”

“I never stopped loving you, Levi.” Your soft voice was melody to his ears, as the summer night reminded you both of how everything started. How you first met, how you first held hands, how you slowly fell in love, how you first made love, how you both thanked the cosmos for leading you to each other’s arms.

“I’ll never not love you.”

And you will always be the warmth that completes his every summer.

#attack on titan #attack on titan x reader #levi ackerman #levi ackerman x reader #levi x reader #levi ackerman x you #levi x you #aot #snk #levi imagine #levi aot #levi angst #levi fluff #rulerofstars

333 notes · View notes

itsbap · 3 years

Text

EXCLUSIVE: Moon Jong Up Talks About ‘US’, His Journey, B.A.P Reunion & More!

Moon Jong Up mononymously known as Jongup, gained popularity as the main dancer and lead vocalist of the now-disbanded KPOP group B.A.P under TS Entertainment. At present, Jongup is signed with Big Ocean ENM as a soloist. He released his solo debut single album, ‘Headache’ featuring Yunhway on May 7, 2020, and garnered much support from his fans worldwide. He also recently featured in Mr Queen’s OST, ‘Venus.’

Besides his amazing vocal skills and dance, Jongup can also rap and is also an actor. He performed in the play ‘The Lost Village’ and has also been cast for the upcoming movie, ‘Idol Recipe’. Jongup is truly a power packed artist. Ahead of his comeback, he pre-released an MV on 1st July 2021, for the song ‘Find‘, which features Moon Sujin. The song has a slow R&B beat with a soothing melody that reveals a deeper, more emotional side to his music.

Jongup is now back with his first mini-album titled ‘US‘ which released earlier today. The album has five tracks starting with the title song ‘US’, ‘Photo’ featuring Bang Yonguk, pre-release single – ‘Find’ featuring Moon Su-jin, ‘GOUP’ featuring EK from ‘Show Me the Money 8’, and his debut single, ‘HEADACHE’ featuring Yunhway.

Along with the featuring of such talented list of artists, Moon Jong-up also continues to explore his musical capabilities in this album, by participating in writing and composing lyrics for ‘Photo’, ‘Find’, and ‘GOUP’. He further shows why he was the lead vocalist in his former group with ‘US’.

With strong vocals and dance as well as the vintage theme aesthetic music video, ‘US’ has quickly jumped into our playlist and we cannot stop singing to it.

Ahead of his comeback, Jongup spoke with us about his latest album, his growth, B.A.P, Indian fans & more. As 2nd Generation fans, this was a wonderful opportunity to be able to speak with an artist who gained so much fame and made waves, even before internet took over the way it has right now.

From his debut in 2012 as part of B.A.P to now, Jongup believes that among all things, his thoughts have changed the most. He shares that the more he learn and know, the more he need to know and thus, he has a mindset, to live by learning for the rest of his life. He believes that the biggest difference of promoting as a group and as a soloist is that, “Now I have to bear the burden which I shared with the members when I was in a group but at times, it’s also good to have that much love alone.”

The shift from group to solo, along with years of working as an idol has brought about a process of change and growth and opened new perspectives and views for the talented soloist, “Through many experiences, I have learned and felt that a person cannot live alone in the world. So, I want to say ‘thank you’ to the people who work for me and work with me.”

His former group B.A.P brought about a bad-boy image which was loved by fans across the world and their debut ep ‘Warrior’ landed at Billboard’s World Albums Chart at #10. The group then continuously made waves with their music and topped charts across the world hence showing their global status. Although the members parted ways with their previous company, the boys remain good friends as they continue on their own individual paths while cheering for each other for their solo activities. The boys are also often seen hanging out together hence making their fandom, ‘Baby’ very happy.

While talking about how former B.A.P leader Bang Yong-Guk has participated in his song “PHOTO” as a featuring, Jongup gives hope to the fandom as he assures,

“If the timing is right, I think a reunion of B.A.P is possible at any time.”

– Jongup

The day may not be far off, as along with Yongguk’s featuring, other B.A.P members Zelo and Youngjae also participated in his Listeners; Listen “US” and in the video, one could see how they truly enjoyed being with each other. The members shared their honest thought on his comeback as they gave their opinions about how they loved the comeback, Jongup’s growth as an artist and that, the fans had lot to expect hence making the fandom anticipate more. This was also the first video in a very long time where the members had appeared together so for B.A.P fans, this was a blessing. The members were definitely right though as with ‘US’ we see a mature side of Jongup in terms of music, vocals or even style.

Jong-up was also recently cast in “Idol Recipe” and he gave a sneak peak of his character, “My cast is ‘Jang Jun’, a member of a mixed group. He gets caught while dating at work and gets scolded”, thus building more anticipation for his upcoming appearance.

He shares that in terms of his style of music, over the years, the thing that has changed the most is that, he now listens to all genres and he particularly likes R&B dance hip-hop the most. When it comes to incorporating it to his music, he admits that there are so many genres he want to challenge himself with, but the one that comes to his mind right now is EDM.

For Jongup, the process of creating music/songwriting is mostly done with his friend, Min – “We usually start with the track. Sometimes when a track comes out first, we write melodies and lyrics together.” He further says that he has a lot of influence when it comes to his music but ever since his younger days, he admires Chris Brown and he still loves his music. This however doesn’t come as a surprise to his fans, after all, Jongup’s dancing and vocal skills have always been on point.

With ‘US’, the title track of this album, Jongup shares that, he liked it as soon as he heard the guide.

“I wanted each track to be different from genre to mood. I had a lot of meetings to go in the direction that I wanted. There were some disappointing parts in the process, but all the processes can’t always go perfectly in the direction I want, so those parts were difficult but overall, this was a great experience. ” – Jongup on the process of making ‘US’

Jongup agrees that he has gotten used to the life of an idol, after all, its been nearly 10 years since he debuted as an idol and if he had a chance to do any special activities with his fans, he would want to go camping with them. He further adds that if he could go back and give an advice to his former self, he would tell himself, “Be nice to Baby”.

‘Baby’ is the fandom name for B.A.P but now, Jongup also has another fandom name created by the fans themselves, ‘MOONW4LK.’ He shared his thoughts on his fandom name and also sent a messages for his fans across the world especially in India.

“‘MOONW4LK’ is such a cute name. I love you always. You know that, all this is done thinking only of ‘MOONW4LK’, right? As soon as Covid-19 calms down, I will fly to you.”

namastehallyu

#b.a.p #jongup #t:interview #210708

42 notes · View notes

geordiewrites · 4 years

Note

Hey i just read exile inspired fic and it is soo good. I think you should write one based on the song tolerate it by ts? With harry plz. The drama, fight, tears.. I think you will reflect the emotion so well omg.

Tolerate It | Harry Potter

A/N: Hi lovely! First off, I adored this request so much and I really hope I’ve done it justice. Tolerate It is such a beautiful song and defo one of my favourites off of Evermore to cry to, there’s just so much detail hidden within the lyrics and I adore that. Harry too!! There’s not enough stuff for Harry, so I hope I’ve done well for you! ( Also this is super short, but I’ve been swamped with coursework xox )

Summary: Y/N is in love with The Boy Who Lived, and due to marry him in the Spring with a beautiful April wedding. Friends to lovers to that engaged couple who are just too in love to function, they share the most perfect story. But when Y/N begins to see their relationship for what it is, her entire world is thrown off key...

Warnings: angst and lots of it, loneliness, sadness, swearing.

“You’re coming home tonight, right?” Y/N asks, excitement and anticipation heavy in her tone, cherry red nails clicking against the cold metal of the answerphone.

“Of course, I’ll be back soon, love.” Harry Potter, her beloved fiancé, answered back on the other side from his workplace all the way in central London. His office is almost empty, devoid of any homely photos or colleagues: they had all gone home to their families long ago, and yet he stayed behind. He had no work to finish, no cases glaring to be solved. There was nothing to do but leave, but Harry didn’t.

“You’ve said that before.” Y/N pointed out blandly, her forced smile fading slightly. Many times had Harry said he was on his way home, only to send a letter the next morning apologising for suddenly getting swamped with unavoidable paperwork. “Please come home Harry, I’ve even made your favourite for dinner.”

“That sounds good, I promise I’ll be there soon. I’m just leaving the Ministry now.” Harry replied monotonously, not sounding nearly as happy as Y/N wished he would. Perhaps he had just had a bad day at the office, he must have done. But he had just one too many bad days now, and the reality that he might not want to see her was beginning to sink in.

Shaking off that horrible thought, Y/N inhaled a sharp breath and chewed the edge of her top lip. “Alright, if you say so. I’ll see you then.”

“Bye.” Harry said shortly before putting the phone down and staring at his office, desperately trying to find a reason to stay at work. He did love Y/N, he did. Heck, he had even asked her to marry him and kissed the edge of her lips as they set the date. And then postponed it. And then postponed it another year after that, all because of some urgent work that Harry had suddenly come across. He was just so young, forced to grow up so quickly he didn’t even have time for a scrap of a childhood. Maybe that was why he didn’t want to see Y/N, why going home to their apartment often felt like a chore.

Back at their cosy flat in the nicer part of Greenwich, Y/N put the phone down after hearing an abrupt beep on the other end that let her know he had hung up. She sighed before walking over to a tall cabinet that stood to the side of their kitchen, taking out a set of nice china plates her Grandmother had left her and crystal wine glasses. It was the lovely cutlery only used for things like Christmas and obligatory dinner parties her family forced her to hold.

After setting it out on the table, Y/N checked the time and supposed that if Harry really had left as he said, he would be back in just a minute through the wonders of apparation. Carefully so she wouldn’t somehow spill the food in her clumsiness, a quality Harry once said he loved about her, Y/N moved the food from the oven, to plates and then through to their front room where the fancy cutlery was set up. A smile made its way onto her face, a beaming, gorgeous smile of confidence that her and Harry would finally have the night she deserved. One where work or his reluctance to put effort into their relationship, even if she did pretend she knew nothing about this, didn’t get in the way.

Alas however, minutes passed and there was no sign of Harry anywhere. The food grew colder and that wonderful, rare smile of hers faded into an all too comfortable frown, the crease between her eyebrows deepening with not only disappointment, but anger. A growing resentment for Harry’s lack of care or even acknowledgement of their engagement. He didn’t seem to give two hoots that she had made a lovely meal; after all, he had only called it ‘good’. Not fabulous or decadent or even something praiseful. Just good.

They hadn’t said ‘I love you’ before they hung up the phones. Harry had only said one word. Y/N’s mind began to spiral, her breathing growing quicker and sharper as the thought that it might be time to confront Harry about the buildup of letdowns over the course of the last few months. A year even, since he had properly spent time at home. At their home, the one in which he had knelt down on one knee and told her he wanted to grow old with her by his side, failing at muggle card games on the front porch as they watched their grandchildren play.

Not knowing exactly what to do, Y/N retreated to grasping at the doorframe to keep her body from tumbling to the ground. Her mind whirred with the usual possibilities to try and chase away his lateness. Got caught at work, perhaps Ron called. But none of it compared to the looming threat that Harry was scraping any old excuse together in order to stay away. That he was lying, something she never thought she would have to think about him doing. Harry had always been such an honest person, even as a child.

Y/N remembered how nervous he was when he first asked her out during their fifth year at Hogwarts. He had been on this disastrous date with some Ravenclaw she couldn’t quite remember the name of, and come back utterly defeated. Feeling sorry for a friend she had always harboured a crush on, Y/N had stayed up all night convincing him something better was around the corner. It occurred to Harry quite quickly after that that Y/N was that somebody. She liked him, and at the time that was enough to make him think he was in love. To some degree he was, but not nearly as much as Y/N had fallen for him.

It was almost midnight when the front door to their apartment clicked with the turn of a key, and Y/N, still standing in the same sad place by the door to their living room, finally saw Harry step into their home. It had been hours since they were supposed to eat the food that Y/N had worked to hard to create. There it still sat however, with the plates and crystal glasses and unopened bottle of wine in the same place, completely untouched.

Y/N had a thousand things to say to him. Usually it would begin with her asking him where he had been galavanting off to, but not tonight. Tonight was the final tear in her elastic heart, just enough to finally make it tear into two broken, hollowed out pieces. She stood, silent and just watched as he took off his shoes and put his coat back in it’s place without saying anything. Harry wasn’t even trying anymore, and that hurt more than him being late to begin with.

“Sorry for the delay, something came up.” Harry said, standing a few metres away from her. There was no affectionate kiss to the forehead like when they were fresh out of Hogwarts with teenage dreams and ambitions. No arm comfortably slung around her waist in a protective manner. Y/N missed that especially out of all the things that had faded away. That simple gesture that showed he wanted to hold her above all else, above everyone else who had ever wanted to touch the Chosen One like she did.

“Something.” Y/N repeated, no emotion in her voice. It sounded almost like a recording being played back to him, just with any tone sucked away. “It’s always something, isn’t it?” She continued, not finding quite the right words to encompass the flummox of emotions seeping into her veins. “Work. Ron called. Hermione called. Work. Work again.”

“There really was something.” Harry pathetically added. It was a lie of course, he had spent the hours at his desk alone and staring aimlessly at a fountain pen as it leaked ink onto the black carpet of his office.

“Do you really think I don’t know you at all? Stop lying to me, Harry, just stop it. I’m done with being lied to.” Y/N says, her voice remaining as monotonous as ever as if she’s already grieving something. “I want to know what was so important that you’ve missed the dinner I made. The last thirty dinners, in fact.”

Harry just runs a hand through his messy hair as he tries desperately to think of something to say. But he can’t. There’s nothing to say that would make him any less guilty.

“I’m so sorry, Y/N.” He manages to whisper.

“You’ve said that already.” Y/N points out without missing a single beat. She’s exhausted of pretending that she doesn’t know what Harry’s been doing, drained of all energy to put in effort anymore.

“Just tell me what the problem is and we can fix it.” He begs, but his voice is shaky and the words sound as though he’s reading them from a script.

“Fine. When did you stop being in love with me?” Y/N asks, sadness seeping into her voice. Tears began to form in her eyes but were quickly blinked away; the last thing she wanted was for Harry to see her as weak. She might be pathetic, pitiful, stupid for not realising earlier... but Y/N was not going to be weak. Not now, not ever.

“Why would you think that? Y/N, I could never stop loving you.” Harry said, trying to wrap her into a hug only for Y/N to quickly wriggle out of his cold grasp. His fingers left icy burns where they had briefly touched her arm, and Harry’s face dropped as he realised she didn’t want him anywhere near her.

“But you have, Harry. Otherwise you wouldn’t be coming home at ridiculous times, or avoiding even looking at me like you are now. You don’t love me, you tolerate me because you don’t want to be alone. I feel like I’m begging to be in the footnotes in the story of your life, not a main character anymore.” Y/N explained quietly, neither expecting her to be so frank but once the blunt words were spilling from her lips, not even she could stop them. She watched as Harry’s face crumpled, sadness twisting her gut as she fervently tried not to cry herself.

“Y/N... I don’t know what to say.” Harry trailed off. Y/N used to be so infatuated with him, so desperately in love that she was blind to his flaws, much like his ridiculous fan base. But she had grown up from the teenager with a crush to a young woman with heart and with ambitions, and Harry was no longer apart of what she wanted out of life. She had stopped being a part of his long ago, she just hadn’t realised it then.

“Is this in my head? Tell me I’ve got it wrong somehow, Harry. Because please believe me, I could do it. I could leave.”

“I can’t.” Harry finally said. “I did love you once, Y/N. I’m not even sure what happened to us if I’m being completely honest.”

“That’s the problem: you don’t really even want me to stay. But that’s the thing... you built an entire new wizarding world after you defeated You-Know-Who, and where was I? I’m sorry for being dramatic and shit but I’m taking this dagger out and finally going where I need to be.” Y/N continued, not pausing as not to give him any time to ask her to stay, not that he would. Her mind was made up, and even Harry could see that.

“I’m sorry, Y/N.” Harry whispered, his voice trailing off as Y/N went to get her coat from a peg just beside their front door.

“It’s alright, really. I know you don’t hate me, but both of us know this isn’t working anymore. I deserve someone who celebrates me and my love, and that isn’t you. I’m not really sure that it ever was.” Y/N said, a sad smile gracing her delicate features. She looked almost relieved. Utterly broken-hearted, but relieved all the same. “I’ll come back for my stuff tomorrow.”

“You’re leaving me?” Harry said. Even though she had told him why, it still came as a shock. Y/N nodded. “I’m so sorry I didn’t treat you how you deserve.”

“I’m sorry about that too.” Y/N replied, both warmly and coldly at the same time. “Goodbye, Harry Potter. All the best.”

“Goodbye.” It was all Harry could fathom to say as she pressed her engagement ring back into his hand, the final recognition of their relationship officially being over. It was a beautiful piece of jewellery, one she at one point she thought she would never take off her finger. There were no more words exchanged about the gesture for none were needed, all had been said already.

One simple word that locked the door on their relationship, the one that Y/N had finally gained the courage to close in the first place. It had taken her so long, so pathetically long, to realise that something wasn’t right. That Harry was meant to love her, that love shouldn’t and can’t survive while being one sided. It shouldn’t have to be tolerated, and Y/N had finally learned that through all those lonely nights of wondering where Harry was, what he was getting up to at work, if he even was there.

But as Y/N’s grandma used to tell her every Christmas, as one door closes, another always opens.

A/N: hoped you liked it anon!!!

Nancy xx

#harry potter angst #harry potter fic #harry potter x reader #harry potter #harry potter fanfiction #harry potter imagines #harry potter imagine #harry potter fanfic #harry potter fluff #Gryffindor #golden trio era #harry potter x yn #harry potter x you #nancy writes

123 notes · View notes

notafraidofredyellowandblue · 4 years

Text

Richard Kruspe interview 'Welt' 2009

By Laura Ewert.

Some of the usual stuff (Richard's difficulty with dealing with the Rammstein democracy, this-record-is-the-last, being happy vs being meaningful, the 'old marriage' comparison) but i liked the part about the orginal lyrics of Pussy being too 'platt' which translates to 'flat' or 'uninspired' and they changed it to insert a bit of humor into it, because even though it must exhausting for the band themselves, i think the qualitycontrol within Rammstein is a good thing really.

(also, i think Richard got a bit annoyed with the interviewer, which i can understand.. 😇)

English translation:

"Rammstein are too smart to be right-wing"

They are Germany's most successful rock group. On the new album "Liebe ist für alle da", Rammstein, as usual, played the bugbear. WELT ONLINE spoke to their guitarist Richard Kruspe about porn, national symbols and the imminent end of the band.

Black hair, heavy rings, black-rimmed eyes - Richard Kruspe looks exactly as one had always imagined a Rammstein member to look. The 42-year-old sits at a large table in a room of the Universal record company in Berlin, smokes and smiles friendly. The discussion again can start: Are Rammstein dangerous provocateurs or ingenious creators of their total work of art?

WELT ONLINE: Mr. Kruspe, the current Rammstein single "Pussy" entered the German charts at number one. Despite a video that cannot be shown uncensored on television.

Richard Kruspe: Any other band would have said: We can't make a porn, it'll never be shown on music television. I heard that over two million people saw it in two weeks like this. So there are other ways too, you don't always have to bend. "Pussy" is very independent compared to the other songs on the album. Our singer Till initially only wrote the text in English and I thought it was borderline at first.

WELT ONLINE: In terms of content?

Kruspe: Yes, in terms of content. It was just too much. There is a certain kind of humor that I find good, but there are limits. Then at the request of the band Till wrote the German verses. In that way the text got a humorous touch that I can live with. It's not exactly what I define as Rammstein, but Rammstein simply is a mix of six different people.

WELT ONLINE: Who actually had the idea for the porn video?

Kruspe: We asked the director Jonas Åkerlund. He listened to the song and after three hours wrote an email back: "Let's start a revolution, let's do a porn". All you could see on the faces of the band members was a big grin.

WELT ONLINE: But you have had yourself doubled?

Kruspe: Well, that's the big question. It doesn't matter. It was a nice challenge. I always thought the porn business was dirty and cold, but it's not at all. All the people there were extremely friendly and very accommodating.

WELT ONLINE: The text is not particularly friendly and accommodating.

Kruspe: I cannot and will not say anything about the text. I am not the text writer.

WELT ONLINE: But you said earlier that the first text version of "Pussy" was a bit too much for you.

Kruspe: No, it wasn't too much for me. It was just too uninspired for me. The German verses gave it a certain sense of humor that I can support.

WELT ONLINE: It is said that this text should be understood as a criticism of German sex tourists.

Kruspe: If you see it that way.

WELT ONLINE: I don't see it that way. But can you tell me what your understanding of the text is?

Kruspe: For me it's a party song, nothing more and nothing less.

WELT ONLINE: The line "Put bratwurst in your sauerkraut" is excellent to roar along to when drunk.

Kruspe: I think that's extremely funny.

WELT ONLINE: What about those who don't understand this humor? Drunken hordes of men on the way to the "Blitzkrieg with the meat gun"?

Kruspe: There is aggression in every society. They are acted out differently. My children, who are 17 and 18, don't do that. The only thing I can do is make sure things are different in my small circle. But when you start thinking about these things as an artist, you start limiting yourself. But I have a problem with censoring myself. I grew up in a system where I was constantly censored.

WELT ONLINE: Doesn't the question of responsibility arise?

Kruspe: I'm not someone who goes out with a raised finger and says: That's how you have to do it. We never did that.

WELT ONLINE: But don't you also say that you want to criticize something by exaggerating social situations?

Kruspe: Yes, you could say that. But that still doesn't mean that we tell people how to live. Everyone is responsible for their own life. Everyone has to have their own experiences in order to learn from them. We are not the Messiah.

WELT ONLINE: So is your music just acting out your own personalities?

Kruspe: When making music, of course, a dynamic of its own develops that you have to live with. These are things that cannot be influenced.

WELT ONLINE: The cover of your album is reminiscent of paintings by Rembrandt.

Kruspe: Hieronymus Bosch is a better comparison. The cover was created in collaboration with a Spanish artist who just tried things. Journalists are always entitled to question the meaning. But good things happen out of a certain naivety.

WELT ONLINE: What is that metal toothed monster up there on the cover on the right?

Kruspe: It should be some kind of alien. I already forgot. It was pretty good what the artist had thought out. Some kind of alien that eats up all consumption. Very philosophical what he has built there.

WELT ONLINE: And the naked woman lying on the table has her hands chopped off, right?

Kruspe: Yes, but that shouldn't be taken literally, in the sense that a woman is being massacred.

WELT ONLINE: It looks like an offering.

Kruspe: I see more the abysses of this world in the picture.

WELT ONLINE: Next to the woman on the table are two men closing their pants. Are you one of them?

Kruspe: No, I am not.

WELT ONLINE: It's a rape scene really, isn't it?

Kruspe: If you want to see it that way. I always find art interesting when it leaves things open.

WELT ONLINE: Let's come back to ...

Kruspe: ... to the difficult questions? Don't you have something else to talk about? Something nice? About life?

WELT ONLINE: I still have one question about the record.

Kruspe: Okay, one more.

WELT ONLINE: You are clearly using national symbols. Be it the German flag, the desk reminiscent of pictures of Hitler's speeches ...

Kruspe: Yes, but in a very humorous way. "I can't get laid in Germany" is very funny.

WELT ONLINE: Well I don't think you're right-wing.

Kruspe: No, we're too smart for that (laughs).

WELT ONLINE: Why does sex always have to do with fighting and war in your songs?

Kruspe: For me, sex always has to do with passion. I am a romantic. On the other hand, I like it dramatic. We'd have to go back a long way to my childhood to see what might have gone wrong. I believe that musicians more or less unconsciously always bring things across in a dramatic and painful way. At least that is how it has to be for Rammstein.

WELT ONLINE: Are you a believer?

Kruspe: Religious? No. I believe in justice.

WELT ONLINE: A justice that arises out of the human being, or one that is imposed from outside?

Kruspe: I think there is an idea. Some say this is God. Before things are done or before they arise, there was always an idea from which there is also a sense of justice. Do you understand? I believe that it is important in life to be punished for certain things. I believe in the fate principle and the karma principle.

WELT ONLINE: But if there is this punishment, won't Rammstein face a hefty punishment?

Kruspe: We only speak out what is reality or what is part of society. The Church used to say what is good and what is bad. That's bullshit. Just because someone has a sexual orientation that the Church classifies as evil doesn't mean it is wrong. On the contrary.

WELT ONLINE: Does "love is there for everyone" also mean that any form of sexual love, including that which is socially ostracized, is a part of humanity?

Kruspe: "Love is there for everyone" is a very Christian thought. Of course you have to ask yourself, is love really there for everyone? I would wish it to be that way. Can we forgive those who misunderstood love? I often think about it and fail and get a little further and go back again. Especially when you turn 40. A lot happens there. Especially with men.

WELT ONLINE: Yes? What?

Kruspe: For me there are two options in life. Be happy or be meaningful. And as a musician you naturally try to lead a meaningful life. The big problem with me is that my longing for happiness is great, but the strength I need to be creative comes from suffering. Even if you do not suffer, you try to bring it into your life somehow in order to be able to create again. A cycle. If I were happy I'd know I would never write again. I tried to find happiness outside of myself. And now at 40 there comes the point where you try to find something inside me that makes you happy.

WELT ONLINE: Can't you catch the creative moments by now?

Kruspe: I used to try drugs. I used cocaine a lot. You reach dimensions that you would otherwise never be able to reach. You can edit a kick drum for eight hours. This creative power comes to me in different moments. It's buzzing in the air and the only thing you can do is be open. And then the moment is gone again. As if a cloud is passing by and you reach for it and then wait for the next cloud.

WELT ONLINE: One hears that the current record could be the last of the band. Is Rammstein going to dissolve?

Kruspe: At the moment I couldn't imagine going back to the studio with the experiences of the last record. But I could imagine touring further. In a band you're trapped in an image. It's like a soap opera that never ends. You have your character and you play it. And then this Rammstein democracy. We have discussions every day. Everything is talked about and talked about. And voted. In a band you don't have that kind of sexual discharge that you would have in a relationship. It's like a long marriage with us. You just don't like to sleep together that much anymore.

#rammstein interview #richard interview #richard kruspe #rammstein

141 notes · View notes

louiseleblancdiggory · 4 years

Note

hello! I saw that someone was asking you rowaelin as ts songs and I wonder if you could do cruel summer?

So. Many. References!! I hope you like this, because I can certainly picture this scene perfectly. I have a few TS rowaelin prompts, so I might do a whole masterlist just for it separated by albums..... Anyways, enjoy!!

Cruel Summer

Aelin was already used to the smell of beer and loud music by now.

When she and Lysandra had just finished freshman year of college, both decided to ditch the dorms and look for an apartment off campus. Everything was either extremely expensive, too far away from campus or both. They were about to give up and just spend another year in the university’s dorms when they found an apartment.

Well, it was more like a shoe box, but it worked just fine. There were two small bedrooms, one bathroom and a living room with a kitchen. Aelin and Lys had almost no money for furniture, so a lot of the space in the apartment was filled with bean bag chairs and thick rugs instead of actual chairs and tables. The painting was fading, the constant need to call a handyman was exhausting but Aelin found it somewhat… comfy.

The rent wasn’t expensive at all and Aelin discovered why the day she moved. The apartment was right above a dive bar, and the thing was kept open 24/7 from Friday to Sunday, opening every day of the week and closing around three in the morning. The music was so loud all the time that sometimes the floor shook. Whenever they opened their windows, the suffocating smell of alcohol would impregnate the apartment.

That was fucking torture during the first days.

Two years later, Aelin found the loud sound and constant smell of beer reassuring, steadying. She and Lys had lived so much shit in that apartment that it stopped being an ugly shoe box and became a home. An ugly home, but a home nonetheless.

Around two months after moving upstairs, Rolfe, the bar owner, offered them jobs at the Sea Dragon. They lived right above it, he said, and so he could alleviate them from a part of their rent and pay a normal salary at the same time. Always in the need of money, both Lys and Aelin accepted.

The dive bar wasn’t shabby, at least not for the neighborhood it was in. It was a hole-in-the-wall, red stools near the bar and a few dark wooden tables around the room. With some pool tables, an old jukebox and an almost never working vending machine, the place looked like it had been left in the 50s. The uniforms were all black, but the shirts were tight button downs and the skirts were pleated.

Aelin fucking loved that place.

She worked there the double amount of hours than Lys did, and she enjoyed herself immensely. She loved choosing the next song and flirting with some customers. She adored teasing old patrons when they were losing at a pool game, and she discovered that she was great making drinks.

The Sea Dragon was Aelin’s little heaven. She worked there the whole weekend, never missing a day. Sometimes during the summer she would work there every day.

And that’s when she met him.

The first time Aelin had seen Rowan Whitethorn during the summer before junior year, she almost dropped the drinks she was holding.

He was standing by the vending machine, the faint blue glow making his silver hair shine. He had a frown on his face, but not even that managed to make him look any less attractive. Dark green eyes, a straight nose and hard features, Aelin wanted him from the second her eyes fell upon his figure.

She gave the drinks to Lysandra, murmuring what table they were supposed to go before walking up to him.

“Any problems?” She said as a way of greeting. The man was staring at the vending machine as if it had personally offended him.

“Aye. It ate two dollars of mine and I didn’t get those disgusting candies you Americans like.” He said, not turning away from the vending machine. Aelin bit her lip, both at his very hot and strong Scottish accent and to hold her laughter in because of the expression on his face.

“You’ll have to be more specific, sir. I can name twenty disgusting American candies from the top of my mind in ten seconds.” She was smiling, her voice tone soft. At that, he turned his head to her, eyes widening slightly. Aelin’s smile grew at that. “Unfortunately this vending machine has a mind of its own. Maybe if you ask gently or smack it violently, it will spew your candy.”

He laughed, scratching the back of his head. “You work here? Sorry, I didn’t mean to be rude. I’m Rowan.”

“Nah, don’t worry.” She gestured with her hand. “This vending machine is a bitch. You can try punching if you’d like.”

“Your asking me to vandalize your work place?”

She shrugged, turning her head to the bar and shouting. “Rolfe! Can he punch your useless vending machine?”

Rolfe turned to her, staring at both of them and the vending machine before shrugging too. “It’s not like that thing can break. It’s probably older than you by now, blondie.”

Aelin turned back to Rowan. He was looking at her with awe and slight fear. “Go ahead and punch it.”

“I won’t punch your vending machine.”

“Rolfe’s vending machine.”

“Semantics.”

Aelin merely shrugged, walking back to the bar. “Your loss, Rowan.”

“I didn’t catch your name!” He shouted at her, but didn’t move in her direction. She smiled, his accent sounding like music to her ears.

“Because I didn’t tell you!” She shouted back.

After that, for the rest of the summer, Rowan had been to the bar every weekend. Sometimes he would bring in some friends, sometimes he would just sit there and talk to Aelin whenever she had some free time. He was there to do his last two years of college in Boston, his small group of friends joining him. Rowan liked to talk about Scotland and hear about the States whenever Aelin had free time to talk to him, and after a few weeks she would bribe Lysandra into taking more shifts so she could spend more time with Rowan.

When Friday arrived, Aelin would wait excitedly for his and his friend’s arrival. They were a lively group, all five of them, joking and drinking all the time. Aelin would constantly pass by their tables just to hear their lovely accent laced with alcohol and laughter.

It was obvious that Rowan was interested in her, just as it was obvious that Aelin was interested in him, too. Rowan was an extremely nice and hot guy, and Aelin found herself always at ease and laughing around him. There was no pressure, no expectations. Aelin had left clear since the beginning that she wasn’t interested in a relationship. Ever.

She didn’t mention that it was because of her last one, and Rowan had said that it was the same for him. He had broken up with his five years girlfriend the year before moving, and Aelin got goosebumps just from thinking about dating someone again.

The whole relationship was about… fun.

They slept together during the whole summer, becoming friends while doing it. When classes started again, they remained friends who eventually fucked, both agreeing that the other one could end it the moment they felt like it. Both agreeing that there were no romantic ties, no deep and hidden feelings. It was cool, a new sort of heaven with no rules.

Until there was. Until there were ties and feelings and that perfect heaven seemed very breakable.

Until Aelin became a part of Rowan’s routine, and until Aelin found herself too at ease around him. It had been a natural shift, one that Lysandra had said it was bound to happen. Both were on pre-med together, both spent most of their free time together too. They were great friends, slept together and were single. According to her best friend, it was only a matter of time until their friendship became something more.

It had taken a whole year. Things were normal-ish until spring came. With spring break around, Rowan and Aelin spent every hour of the week together, usually at her apartment of at the bar. Rowan had gone so many times to the Sea Dragon, that Rolfe said he was considering buying him as a piece of decoration or as some sort of bar scarecrow to avoid fights. With his black clothes and serious face, Rowan looked like one bad boy from one of the cheap romance books Aelin always read, Rolfe told him while Aelin’s cheeks heated. Rowan had laughed at that, turning to Aelin with humorous smile, and she simply flipped him off.

It had been Aelin’s best week in a very, very long time. But the aftermath just made her freak out.

After Chaol, Aelin had absolutely no interest in getting into another relationship. Her six months with him had been enough to make her hate the prospect of sharing her life romantically with someone again. She didn’t need to find a new guy to open up just to have him throw all her insecurities and fears on her face again. No, Aelin was perfectly fine single.

She kept telling herself that, but every time Rowan was around the hesitation and fear would disappear from her mind. Every time he laughed with her, Aelin would feel her heart beating faster. She could barely contain her own smile when Rowan looked at her. She wanted to touch him all the time, wanted to be around him all the time.

Rowan didn’t seem nearly as hesitant of his romantic feelings towards Aelin, but that probably was due to the fact that he didn’t have a shitty ex haunting his thoughts all the time. Actually, Lyria was a lovely woman who had come to visit during winter and said more than once that Aelin should make a definitive move on Rowan. The girl had given Aelin her number and every now and then the two would talk.

If Rowan had spent five years with someone nice and lovely as Lyria, an actual relationship with Aelin wouldn’t last two weeks. And Aelin would get hurt again. He had obviously hinted many times that he wanted a relationship, but Aelin had just played dumb every time.

She analyzed all her fears, all her emotions and how Rowan made her feel.

She was fucking terrified of all of it.

So she ditched.

By the end of spring, Aelin simply stopped talking to him after saying that she didn’t want a serious relationship at all. Classes were over, and whenever Rowan and his friends came to the bar the next weeks, Aelin would go upstairs and Lys would cover for her. Sometimes, Aelin would look out of her window during the night, hoping to see Rowan under it. It was a way of her seeing his face again but avoiding him seeing her.

It was absolutely miserable.

This time last year was when she had met Rowan, and if she stopped to think, she had been a completely different person. Lately, Aelin didn’t flirt with the customers anymore, instead she would be constantly thinking about flirting with Rowan. She couldn’t look at that stupid vending machine’s blue glow without remembering when she first met Ro. Everything in the Sea Dragon reminded her of him, and she hated it. She hated how he had invaded her space, her little heaven, her life, and messed everything up. She hated the hours he spent in her apartment because now he was also a concept of her home.

She hated how much she wanted him.

“Summer is a cruel bitch.” Aelin complained.

“You love summer.”

“I loved summer. Now it just feels like a knife going down straight to the bone.”

“Just go fucking talk to him, you stubborn prick.” Lysandra said and Aelin simply groaned.

“I could be bleeding out right now and he would be the last one to know.”

“You’re so dramatic, gods. You should be trying but you’re just screwing it up.” Lys frowned.

It was the first Friday in two years that Aelin wasn’t working on the Sea Dragon. Instead, she and Lys decided to have a game night and play some old game board they found in the Sea Dragon’s storage.

“I don’t want to get hurt.” Aelin mumbled, rolling the dice. Lysandra rolled her eyes at her best friend.

“You look hurt right now.”

“I’m happy right now.” Aelin lied, taking the dice and giving to Lysandra.

When Lys put them down, Aelin simply scowled. She didn’t want to have this conversation again. It was summertime again and she was supposed to be having fun, not moping around for a guy that wasn’t even her boyfriend.

“Baby.” Lys said, taking Aelin’s hands. “Chaol was a fucking asshole, we know, but Rowan is different. The two of you were friends for a year, acted like a couple for the most part of it, and he never acted like Chaol. What would change if you gave him a chance?”

“What if he hurts me, Lys? I dated Chaol for six months and didn’t even like him the way I like Rowan. And yet he broke my fucking heart.” Aelin sighed, rubbing her eyes with her palms. “Can you imagine how much worse it will be if Rowan does it?”

“But—“

“No.” Aelin said, getting up. She grabbed her phone, going to the apartment’s door. “I’m not interested. I’ll get over it. It’s just some stupid crush because I spent way too much time with him. I’ll be better off recovering from not having a relationship than I will from recovering from a broken heart. Again.”

“Ace…” Lys said, her face sad.

“I’m gonna go drink something. You coming?” Aelin asked, ignoring her friend’s pity. Lys simply shook her head, and Aelin left, slamming the door behind her.

She went down, entering the bar and pouring herself a drink. None of the baristas stopped her, all knowing her face all too well.

“Tough night, blondie?” Rolfe asked from where he was sitting at the other side of the balcony.

“Tough summer.” Aelin grumbled, taking the whole bottle of whatever she had just poured to herself. She took a swig and Rolfe didn’t even blink at that. After two years, Aelin knew what boundaries she could and couldn’t overstep.

“Your boyfriend was here earlier. Looked like shit, if you’re wondering.”

“I wasn’t. And he’s not my boyfriend.” Aelin drank again, her head already feeling lighter. “Never was.”

“Well he looked like it. For a whole year.” Rolfe looked at her, a small smile playing on his lips. “Is this because of Chaol?”

“Since when do you keep tabs on my love life, Rolfe?” She was too sober to have this conversation again. She took down three gulps, almost coughing at the alcohol burning down her throat.

“You’re my best waitress and you’re always here.” Rolfe laughed. “I probably know more about you than anyone else, blondie.”

Aelin rolled her eyes, but a smile played on her lips. Although Rolfe was an asshole most of the times, Aelin had grown to like him a lot. He was like an uncle sometimes— nosy but always there.

“Should I call him?” Aelin asked, drinking once more before she stared at Rolfe. She had been entertaining the idea for a while now, even though she wouldn’t ever admit that to Lysandra.

“I would.” He shrugged, pointing at the half empty bottle on her hand. She looked down. Whiskey apparently. “But I’d drink about two more of those before.”

For the first time in a while, Aelin actually chuckled. “Yeah, I think I’ll let drunk Aelin decide this.”

Rolfe grinned at her. “I’ll call you a cab when you come crying to me later about your silver headed fling.”

“A cab?” She raised an eyebrow.

“If you’re gonna declare your feelings while drunk, do it in style, sweetheart.” Rolfe winked at her. “Make a whole goddamn scene.”

Aelin stared at the vending machine when Rolfe left. She could feel the alcohol loosening her whole body, allowing her to think in a broader way than she would have allowed herself while sober.

She had fallen in love with Rowan, that much was obvious. It had been slow and almost imperceptible, but it had happened. Maybe a part of her had loved him since the first time she heard his heavy accent and saw his handsome face. Maybe she had started falling when he passionately talked about Scotland, or when he gave her his whole attention when she was the one talking about her childhood. Maybe it had been during their classes when Aelin saw how smart he was, and how much he also appreciated her own intelligence.

Maybe it had been a little bit in every single situation, every moment filling her heart a bit more.

She wanted him so bad, but she was also so scared of having her heart broken again.

She kept thinking for the next few hours, listing the pros and cons of trying something with Rowan.

“Better live regretting something you did than live your whole life regretting what you didn’t, right? Better to take years to recover than to spend the rest of your life wondering what it could have been.” Aelin said to herself, her words slurred. She was on her second bottle and the alcohol was certainly impacting her.

“Are you ok?” Ansel, the other barista, was looking at her strange.

“I’m drunk and talking to myself. Go to work, Briarcliff.” Aelin chided.

“You’re insane, Galathynius.” Ansel grinned, turning to another customer.

At that moment, Aelin made her decision. Her sober self would probably think it was insanity, so she needed to do that now. She needed to take action before she chickened out again.

“Rolfe! The cab!” Aelin shouted, hearing Rolfe’s rich laughter across the bar.

Five minutes later, Aelin was in the back of a cab, drunk out of her mind and with tears streaking down her cheeks. She didn’t really know why she was crying like a baby. Maybe a still lucid part of her was terrified to do what she was planning. Maybe some part of her was crying out of fear of rejection. Maybe the tears were due to her burning throat after so much whiskey.

Who the fuck cared?

“You can stop here please.” She pointed to a pretty house.

She had been there before during the last summer, almost every night when she wasn’t at the Sea Dragon. She would recognize that garden gate even if she was stripped away from her senses.

“Your boss already paid.” The driver said, smiling at her. “Good luck.”

Aelin nodded, a pit opening inside her stomach. “Thanks.”

Gods, what the fuck was she doing?

Without further thought, she snuck in through the garden gate, walking to the backyard. She stopped in front of a window on the second floor. The whole house was dark, and Aelin was feeling the hesitation in her despite the adrenaline and the alcohol.

She cupped her hands around her mouth, closing her eyes. “Rowan.”

She stared at the window for a few seconds, waiting for a light before cupping her mouth and screaming again. “Rowan Whitethorn!”

At that, a single light flickered in his bedroom. Aelin’s heart was beating so fast she though she was going to puke it out. Suddenly, this whole thing seemed like a very bad idea. But it was too late, so she just raised her chin and gathered whatever courage had been created by the whiskey.

Rowan pushed back his curtains, opening the window and scanning the backyard until his eyes fell on her. Immediately, his brows furrowed and eyes widened. “Ace? Is everything fine?”

“Yeah, I’m fine.” She said, but then shook her head. “Actually that’s not true.”

Rowan seemed so confused that Aelin almost gave up. “What the fuck happened? You disappear for more than a month and then show up at my backyard at three in the morning?”

“I lied before, ok?” She shouted. “And I don’t want to come up with a stupid excuse for it because I don’t want to keep secrets just to keep you. I have nothing against relationships. My ex broke my fucking heart and now I am terrified of them. And then you come around and fuck everything up.”

“That’s your secret? That’s what you lied about? Your ex? You came all the way here to tell me about your ex while drunk?” He crossed his arms, looking both pissed and hurt.

“You dumb fuck.” She replied, running her hands through her hair. This could have gone so much more smoothly. “I lied about what I said the last time we talked, about wanting a relationship. The secret is that I didn’t ditch you because I don’t want a relationship or because of my ex. The secret is that I am so fucking in love with you for months now that I am terrified of dating you because you can break my heart in a million pieces.”

“What did you say?” He said quietly, and if her attention wasn’t solely on him, she would have missed.

“Oh well, shit. We’re already here, aren’t we? For whatever it’s worth, Rowan Whitethorn,” Aelin screamed, opening her arms. “I love you! Ain’t that the worst thing you ever heard?”

Rowan stared her in silence for a few seconds before retreating into the bedroom. He didn’t say a word, and Aelin’s heart sank. She felt her throat constricting, her stomach turning and turning.

She was about to go back home and hide under the covers with a pot of ice cream when one of the lights from the first floor turned on. Aelin stared expectantly at the glass doors that separated the house’s interior and the backyard. The door opened, and Aelin sighed when she saw Rowan coming to her, his steps purposeful.

“I—“ She started, wanting to explain everything better.

Rowan cupped her face with his hands, his fingers tangling in her hair. “I love you too.” He said before bringing his face down and kissing Aelin.

Her arms circled his waist, and she pressed her body against his. It had been too long since she kissed him, and Aelin sighed as Rowan’s warm mouth moved on hers. She tilted her face up, standing on her tiptoes. She opened her mouth, hands tightening around him as he deepened the kiss.

They stayed like that for minutes until both drew back, breathing deeply. Aelin opened her eyes to see Rowan grinning like the devil at her, and she smiled back at him.

Tags:

@in-love-with-caramel-macchiato @jlinez @courtofjurdan @aelinfeyreeleven945tbln @ladywitchling @lexflame @sleeping-and-books @annejulianneh111 @perseusannabeth @linshryver @mu-si-ca-l @camilamartinezdunne @dank-queen7 @minaidss @starborn-faerie-queen @booksofthemoon @loveofbooksandwine @jesstargaryenqueen @abookishfreak @faerie-queen-fireheart @maastrash @morganofthewildfire @queen-of-glass

144 notes · View notes

everythingshoto · 4 years

Text

Already gone | Fives

Pairing: ARC Trooper Fives x reader

Summary: The loss of Fives is unbearable and it’s time to say goodbye to him. You need to let him go, but your heart can’t.

Wordcount: 1828

Warnings: reader goes to extreme sadness, depression. Mentions of death and seeing the dead. Violence language.

a/n: Hello there :) This is my first work to be ever published, so I am a little nervous! I know it’s not the best I’ve ever written -and I’m not completely satisfied with how this turned out-, but I just really wanted to make this story. (My native language isn’t English, so that’ll explain grammar mistakes :)) This is for all the very sad sl*ts out there, i feel you 😔

༓☾ M A S T E R L I S T ☽༓

Sometimes it felt like he was speaking to you through music, like he was your guardian angel and looked out for you.

The depressed tones blasted through the speakers of your apartment as your hand -holding an empty whiskey glass- sank to the ground. The bass thundered in rhythm with your heart, the lyrics as sad as a blue moon. But, all the songs about heartbreak and pain that you had on endless replay, had one difference with you. You weren’t just heartbroken, the love of your life hadn’t just left, he died. He couldn’t even come back home to you, even if he wanted to, he’d be stuck somewhere in the afterlife, not even able to find peace he deserved. The hurt Fives went through was the worst part, the guilt you felt.

Your eyes closed as all the moments with Fives flashed by, his smile, his words, his handsome face. Nothing seemed to make up for the fact he wasn’t sitting next to you anymore. The past couple of days you had waited for him to come home, to you. And you still did. The news Rex brought hadn’t sunken in yet and somewhere, your heart still jumped as someone opened your front door. But maybe, that feeling wasn’t going to leave, ever again. Your grip around the glass tightened as all the memories you made together played in your head over and over again.

“Fives! Fives!” You cried out as you saw his damaged, white and blue armour next to Jesse’s. He just returned from Umbara, one of the saddest pages in the clone wars history. Because a betrayal of general Krel, several clones had to give up their life. Words couldn’t describe what you felt, as you saw Five alive, amongst his brothers.

“Cyar’ika!” He yelped back as he saw you in the crowd. His pace quickened and he let you fall into his arms.

“Fives.” Your voice now whispered, your face buried in his neck. His skin melted with yours and it felt like nothing could break this moment. His arms would never let you go, ever again.

You twitched and shivered as your eyes opened, your hand grabbed your shoulder, looking for his. His fingers felt imprinted on your skin, like a mark, and you hoped the stain wasn’t going to fade anytime soon. Your gaze was caught on the evening lights of Coruscant, but this time, you really felt a hand on your shoulder. You wanted to smile, but deep down you knew it wasn’t him.

“Rex,” your voice was burned from alcohol and rasped painful against your throat. “I didn’t hear you come in.”

“Oh, I am sorry.” His voice seemed uncomfortable and he laid a hand behind his head, “you didn’t respond on my knocking, I wanted to make sure you were okay.”

You nodded stiffly, “I’m fine, thanks for asking.” You said as you swung the empty whiskey glass elegant through the air.

“Uhm, are you sure?” Rex’ eye caught the bottle next to you, half empty. He sat down on the ground, besides you, his eyes burned on your skin.

A sarcastic smile hovered around your mouth, “like I said, yes, I’m fine.” The lies were as sweet as sugar, but Rex knew better. The empty bottle of alcohol laying on the floor was just as lost as you. Unfortunately, you wished to be all screwed from the poisonous liquid, but even half a bottle of whiskey didn’t seem to fill the hole Fives left behind.

“It’s time.”

The words Rex said made your world stop for a second. Time seemed to stand still and your head started spinning. Your sweaty palms tried to warm your shivering arms, as your anxiety rose to the ceiling, your heart pounding louder and louder.

From sitting anxious on the floor, under way to Fives’ lifeless body. Rex dragged you all the way with him, knowing you weren’t okay. But he also knew, you weren’t going to forgive yourself if you never said goodbye. Rex lead the way through the medical center as you followed him in safe distance, knewing what you would face seconds from here. Your steps became smaller and the shivers crawling up your spine became colder. Instead of the anxious pounding of your heart in your ears, you barely seemed alive now.

The clone guarding the room nodded to the two of you as you walked in. The room was big and glanced several tints of blue, but all you really noticed was the table in front of you.

“I can’t do this.” You panted as you grabbed Rex’ arm. He turned around, standing in front of you, tall enough to cover the table in the end of the room.

The pain radiating of your face made Rex even more sad, “you have to say goodbye.” He spoke quietly as he offered you a hand.

His voice made you noucious already, you couldn’t hear anything but Fives. You accepted his offer by gently taking his fingers, nervous about what you were going to witness. Even though you knew what you were going to see, you could never prepare yourself. The table Fives laid down on seemed miles away and slowly, step by step, you saw your soulmate coming closer. You felt weird, stressed. It felt weird looking at him without him glancing back, it almost felt.. like he was really gone.

You tried to take big breaths as you reached him and your eyes couldn’t help but stare at his. Your heart wanted them to open, somewhere you expected him to get up and hug you, just like old times. Part of your heart wasn’t ready to let go of the love of your life.

“Fives.” You whispered as your shaky hand grabbed his. He felt ice cold and you shivered by his touch. His face was a sick shade of pale and the bags underneath his eyes were as black as the sky. Few blood drops spotted on his face and his, usually pretty hair, was a mess. Nothing hurted you more than seeing him, like this, so vunarable, so drained of life. Your breathing turned into hyperventilating and your heart shattered as it realised. He was not coming back.

You took his hand and squeezed it softly as you started stuttering, trying to say your goodbyes. “I love you Fives, I- I- I don’t want to let go of you- I...”

Rex laid his hands on your back, trying to give you comfort, but you weren’t able to finish your sentence. Grief hit you like a truck and Fives’ lifeless, emotionalless face drew all your attention away from your words.

“It’s going to be okay.” Rex said, as his hand rubbed down your spine.

“What?” The words felt like poison, the way you spitted them out of your mouth. “It’s going to be okay?” The slightest bit of sarcasm pushed through and your gaze left Fives’ to meet Rex. He seemed surprised by the storm that laid, so suddenly, on your face.

“Well ye- eventually..” now, Rex was the one who had lost his tongue.

“Yes? Eventually it’s going to be okay?” Tears raced down your face. “What’s going to be okay? The fact that we KNEW about the inhibitor chips and did nothing?!” Anger took over and your fingers formed fists. “We should’ve helped him, we should’ve done something!” You yelled at his brother.

Rex seemed just as broken as you, though he tried to stay professional. “Well I have, we tried to..”

You shook your head, the ignorance in Rex’ voice made the rage in your blood rise.

“Just admit it, we failed him! You, and me! He reached out for help and we literally ignored him!” Your shallow scream echoed through the room, “we failed him..”

The little bit of hurt in your heart got replaced by more anger. “Why didn’t you do something?! He came to talk to you, he wanted your help! You should’ve done something! You did, nothing!” You cried, screamed, as your body couldn’t hold the weight of your heart anymore. You sank to the floor, crying over the man you loved. Another cry left your body, your hands caught it as your head buried into them. Endless, non controllable sobbing took over and there was nothing you and Rex could do.

“You killed him Rex! We killed him! Just as much as the one who placed the bullet into his heart!” You managed to look up to Rex, your vision was blurred and you weren’t in control of anything. You lost it, you had lost your world, the person who made you happy. “We abandoned him, when he needed us most.” You managed to whisper. Your heart ached, he died for nothing and you were never going to forgive yourself. Fives his trust in the two of you must’ve died along with him.

“Come here,” Rex said as he lifted you up from the stone cold floor. His voice was shaky, like you had never heard before. Before Rex pulled you into a hug, you caught a glimpse of his watery eyes, a single tear dripping of his face.

You laid your head on his shoulder and couldn’t stop crying. You panted heavily in between, trying to breath as you drowned in your own, bitter tears.

“I know, I miss him too.” Rex said as he continued rubbing your back, trying to calm you down. More tears slowly rolled down his face as he held you close. His heart felt crushed and the worst thing was that everything you said was true. Rex agreed, he failed his brother, there was no need for a bullet through Fives his heart and it happened anyway. It seemed like there was always someone who ended up dead, everyone around him slowly ended up dying.

Fives’ last words had repeated constantly in Rex his head. The anxiousness in his eyes, afraid his own brothers would hurt him, and yet they did. The panic Fives yelled with, getting the gun was the dumbest thing he could’ve done. But for Fives, it felt the best thing to do, like he had only one choice, the only defense he had left.

“Get away from me!” Fives yelled as he held up the gun, pointing it at Fox his head.

Gunshot

An earsplitting silence followed. The only sound echoeing against the walls was Fives’ panting, and how his body shattered against the floor. Rex remembered yelling his brothers name, beating the ray shield that separated them. He was completely defenceless as he watched his brother die.

More tears flowed down Rex’ cheeks as he relived the moment.

“The, the nightmares, they are.. finally.. over.” Fives gaze connected with Rex one last time, but left too soon. Rex felt his brothers body weaken, he was gone, he died, in his arms. Rex held him close, not realising what just happened, what he had done.

Meanwhile, the tension in your core made you cramp together against Rex. It felt like every single nerve in your body was damaged, the kind of damage that couldn’t be fixed. You felt tired, exhausted, like the last bit of happiness had been drained of your soul.

“I can’t miss him Rex.. I don’t want to.”

38 notes · View notes

holycow99 · 3 years

Text

石田お寿司 18/9/21 stream summary Part 1

This is not the full translation of the stream. I only translated the parts I could understand & interpret or parts I found interesting/important. I’m still a beginner in Japanese, so the translations may not be accurate. If you want to repost, please repost at your own risk.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

(t/n: ** = translation may not be accurate, SY= Y****, TS= S******)

1. According to his memo, he woke up at 1.30 am that day. He started recording his daily activities, e.g. what time he woke up and what he did.

2. He got too excited and did 100 pages of draft.

3. He’d forget his goals if he didn’t say it out loud. His goal was to draw 72 pages. Since chp 8 was already 20-something pages, so he only had around 50 pages left. Then, he could release another 2 chapters. He planned to probably release both chapters on 26th sep, but it’s impossible since he had only 6 days to finish them.

4. There are 2 fans he saw had the name Take Hirako (TG’s character) as their usernames and he’s amazed of the character’s popularity. He’d never seen fans using other characters’ names.

5. Someone asked if KotaRAW was named after Take Hirako’s dog and he replied maybe since they both had the same name.

6. He actually didn’t want to play Hitman on the last stream. He just wanted to leisurely chat with the fans. He kept on looking at the comments while playing.

7. Someone asked about the 30,000 subscribers commemoration and he suggested karaoke streaming.

8. He jokingly asked people to fill his wallet with money by buying JJ OST’s album that was released on that day.

9. He’s gonna start eating fan letters bit by bit.

10. There were karaoke versions of JJ songs included in JJ ost album and Ishida didn’t know about it. He said he was probably informed by the staff about that but he didn’t pay attention to it. He was surprised when he got to know about it.

11. He continued that Broccoli might’ve not told him since they turned his illustrations into goods without his permission.

12. Someone asked if he’d get any money from the karaoke. He heard that the fee was around 1 yen per play, but the money probably would go to Mr. Kosemura as well. (t/n: Kosemura Akira is JJ’s composer.)

13. Someone asked him if he’s watched midnight summer. He said he’s watched it. Later in the stream, he googled to see if there’s a movie called Midnight Summer. It turned out OP miswrote the tittle. It’s supposed to be Midsommar.

14. He wondered why people like to ask him or other streamers if they’ve watched this or that. If he said he didn’t watch them, people would keep asking him every single stream, just like with the Tower of God. (t/n: There’s a fan who used to ask him if he’s watched Tower of God every stream.)

15. Someone commented that they probably interested to know if Ishida watch the same thing as them. Ishida replied by saying it didn’t really matter whether he’s watched it or not. Rather than asking him that kind of question, he’d like people to write their reviews about the movies/series. Tell him the greatness of Tower of God.

16. Ishida checked on one of his former staffs’ manga that’s currently on Tonari Young Jump. It’s something with library in the title. There was a lewd scene between the MC and one of the female characters, but the MC was expressionless throughout the scene. He thought that the MC should be wilder while he’s at it. (t/n: I tried to search for the manga title, but couldn’t find it. If anyone knows, feel free to share it in the comment.)

17. Apart from drawing 100 pages of draft, he did the colouring for magazine as well.

18. SY asked him about the typhoon & he didn’t notice it, so someone asked him if he purposely ignored SY’s question. He later told SY that he was bashing the boy for leaving the stream while he’s giving advice on the last stream.

*Ishida started playing Made in Wario.

19. He felt scared when people wishing him to be healthy or to live a long life since he felt like it was foreshadowing him falling ill.

20. Ishida passed the stages in the game easily, so he felt the game was too easy for him. He wanted to play games where he could die and retry multiple times.

21. Someone commented that Hanae Natsuki also did a playthrough of this game. He said he should’ve watched Hanae’s playthrough first before playing the game to know what kind of game it was. He also mentioned that he watched Hanae’s PUBG’s playthrough and Hanae died a lot times in the game.

22. Someone said that Hanae died in this game as well and Ishida said that Hanae wasn’t much of a gamer then.

23. He was drinking the same sake as the last stream, a honey-flavoured sake.

24. He said he might not be cut out for game streaming. This game would be fun if he were to play it before sleeping, but not at the moment. He played this game because he wanted to experience playing it for the first time with the viewers, but he’s had enough of it already. He wanted to play games where he could go crazy & be noisy.

*Ishida getting confused about what’s going on in the game and what he’s supposed to do.

25. He wanted to play games leisurely, but the game made him panic. If it was Hitman, he could play it in a relaxed manner since it was light. He mentioned that Resident Evil Village was a great game.

26. He’s gonna watch Hanae’s playthrough of the game later.

27. Someone commented that Hanae is noisy. He replied saying that Hanae did that to entertain the viewers. Besides, with Hanae’s voice, it’s nice listening to him talking. The way seiyuus scream was on another level.

28. There were two loli characters in the game. People asked him if he hated kids, and he said he really liked them.

*One of the villains used hypnotism on animals to attack people.

29. He said he couldn’t forgive people who do bad things to animals. The villain was coward for using those sinless animals to do his dirty works. Hearing this, people in the comment was like “sensei is angry.” He kept on saying how he didn’t like it and how pitiful the animals were. He’s gonna write a complaint to Nintendo.

30. He’s not keeping any pets at the moment. He couldn’t even take care of himself.

31. Ishida really liked the one of the loli characters and he confirmed himself to be a lolicon.

32. He goes to the gym now and then.

33. He used to go to a rock climbing place with his staffs in Shinjuku. Goubaru was really sick at that time, so he slept on a chair there. Then, Goubaru got moody when he teased him. He got sick from eating tempura in a nearby restaurant.

34. Ishida fanboying over a character name Ashley.

35. TS liked also liked Ashley & Ishida was disappointed in him, thinking he was different.

36. Someone asked how old is TS. Ishida told that person that TS wasn’t gonna answer it. Instead, he’d return the question back at them. He’d use the phrase “On the contrary”.

37. He said he has a bias view against men who like female characters like Ashley because she’s too moe, though he understood why people like her since she’s cute. It turned out Hanae also liked this character. He ended up fanboying over Ashley as well.

38. He went to the toilet for a while and people were guessing what kind of flowers did he pick this time. Last time it was dandelion, so they guessed flowers such as daisy, lavender, etc. When Ishida came back, he told them it was pansy. He mentioned that there was a grand prize, which was just an acrylic keychain, for the person who could guess it right. Unfortunately, no one did.

(t/n: The term Ishida uses whenever he goes to the toilet is “Ohanatsumi” which literally means ‘flower picking’. This term is used usually by female whenever they’re going to the toilet. That’s why people were guessing what flower did he pick this time.)

39. He’s drinking makgeolli after he just had a sake.

40. He wanted to have a drinking meeting with 500 ppl.

41. Someone thought that his idea of eating letters was just him being drunk, but he’s just hyper because he’s taking a proper break from work. He truly intended to eat the fan letters. He wasn’t drunk. He was like that even before he drank.

Part 2

#ishida sui #tokyo ghoul #jack jeanne #chojin x #choujin x #ishida sushi stream summary

6 notes · View notes

colehasapen · 4 years

Text

(ONE SHOT) atiniir STAR WARS

Alpha-17 had never wanted a Jedi, the mere idea of it made him angry and filled him with disgust. He had been told since decanting that he and his brothers had been made for the Jedi, and for all of a minute A-17 had been excited to meet the legendary warriors - then training had begun. Alpha’s brothers died and Spar left, and that excitement had faded, to be replaced by fury when the CCs and CTs started being decanted as tiny cadets with breakable limbs and too-thin shoulders.

Alpha and his batch had been brought into the world fully grown, able to - mostly - cope with the harsh training the Kaminiise and Cuy’val Dar put them through with minimal losses, but the Littles? They expired in droves, entire batches wasted away and their too-small bodies recycled, and Alpha hated the Jetiise. Hated that they’d have him and his vod’e made, only to let them die. The Jedi were supposed to preserve life. They were supposed to be the Jedi’s soldiers, and yet they weren’t good enough to be preserved - they’d always be less-then.

Alpha had done what he could for his vod’ike. He had been hard and unyielding, because he’d rather the cadets learn from him than risk them being given to someone like Priest. He had bitten his tongue, kept his thoughts to himself whenever the subject of the Jetiise came up, and kept working. He continued to train the cadets, to put them through the ringer so that the Kaminiise would get the results they wanted, and kept his anger under control whenever he’d come to the morning meal to see more and more of his vod’ike missing. He had made sure that his vod’ike could handle anything thrown at them, and he proudly watched them grow and flourish. They’d be enough, Alpha would be sure of it, because if they weren’t they’d be dead.

Meeting the Jetiise, he had been unimpressed. These were the beings they were made to serve? These unprepared, arrogant aruetiise were who they were expected to die for? Alpha-17’s anger had only grown as more and more of his vod’ike fell, as the Jetiise led themselves and their troops to their deaths. His advice is ignored, so Alpha had stopped offering it and simply worked to keep what troopers he could out of danger as more and more of the Jedi he was assigned to died because of their incompetence.

Then he’s introduced to Obi-Wan Kenobi and his shiny - his padawan - Anakin Skywalker.

Before that moment, Alpha hadn’t met a single shiny Jedi, and while Skywalker may be an arrogant little shit with a superiority complex a mile wide that hid a crippling inferiority complex, the ARC couldn’t help but see the Littles in his place. So when he sees a mistake in Kenobi’s other-wise - and very surprisingly - iron-clad tactics that could possibly put someone in needless danger, Alpha speaks up.

And Kenobi actually listens.

Alpha keeps speaking up after that, keeps pushing the boundaries to see what he can get away with before the Jetii snaps and shows his true colours. Kenobi never does though - he stays patient and witty, and always takes Alpha’s opinions into account, and even adds to them in ways that Alpha had never expected of a Jedi. The times when he doesn’t agree with him, Kenobi always explains the reasons behind it, and Alpha doesn’t know why he’d been stuck with such useless shabuire when he could have had Kenobi the entire time. Kenobi is intelligent, and competent, and while he never lets Alpha have as much fun as he would have liked - and this usually includes just removing the beings annoying him through deadly force - he can be so vicious when he wants to be. He enjoys a fight, Alpha can see it by the grin on his face and the glint in his eyes whenever he throws himself into battle - he flourishes when he can pull out his jetii’kad and is stunning when there’s blood on his teeth. He speaks fluent Mando’a, has raised an adiik, and Alpha is Mando enough to admit that the copper haired Jetii had been the star of many of Alpha’s most pleasurable dreams. He’s Mandokar , and Alpha isn’t shy about the way he admires how his Jetii looks in armour.

Alpha-17 may hate the Jetiise, but Kenobi is different. He’s Alpha’s, and he’d follow the man to haran itself - not that he’d say as much out loud.

So of course that ends up being the case.

He follows Kenobi to Jabiim, to death and destruction and never-ending rain. When they start the campaign, they achieve victory after victory to report back to the Senate, but the Republic assault vehicles falter in the storms and get stuck in the mud, and those victories grow fewer and farther between until they’re nothing more than a pipe dream. None of them have had a proper sleep in days and rations are running short. Alpha himself is running on spite and stims alone as he helps Kenobi lead the assault to protect the Senate’s fucking mining intrests as the alliance with the Jabiimise rebels fracture. It’s not the Seps that take advantage of this, but Alpha actually wishes it was. It’s Dooku’s pet assassin that takes them, using the confusion and panic caused by an explosion to snatch both of them off the field and spirit them away to her own person dungeon.

Alpha finds himself strung up in a torture machine, muscles extended far past what they shoulder be and bulging under his torn, bruised skin. He doesn’t know how long he’s been here for or if the troopers survived the bombings, and he doesn’t know where his Jetii is. He knows that Ventress has him, because she mocks him with the fact while she tries to pry information out of him on the GAR and their garrisons - and while Alpha would be perfectly willing to hand over intel on the Senate and the bastards on it, that’s not what she’s after. She wants information that could lead to the deaths of his vod’ike, so Alpha holds his tongue and weathers the torture.

They continue this little song and dance for what seems like days, maybe even weeks - Alpha’s lost count - before something changes. Ventress decides to play their game differently. She has Alpha released from his restraints, and his over-abused muscles cramp immediately upon changing their position for the first time in how many days, sending him toppling to the blood-caked floor of his cell.

“Carry him if you must.” Ventress says in disgust, and Alpha snarls at her, limbs spasming. As much as he’d love to throw himself at her and beat that smug look off of her face, he can’t make his arms listen to him.

A droid catches each arm before he can even try to make his protesting limbs respond, twisting them behind his back and cuffing him before they haul him forward, carrying him out of the cell he had been occupying since he had first woken up after the explosion. He tries to get his feet under him, to walk on his own, but after being strung up like he had been and with his arms cuffed behind his back and shocking him at random intervals, he can’t get enough balance. He doesn’t make it easy for them, of course, spitting and snarling threats and digging his heels in, but it only makes Ventress laugh.

He finds himself being thrown into a completely different cell - literally - and without his arms available to catch himself with, he’s left to fall flat on his face in an ungraceful sprawl that, had he seen any of the brats land in during training, would have led to someone getting kicked across the sparring mats until they learned how to roll. The explosion of pain across the bridge of his nose warns of another break, and Alpha bites out another furious curse as he forces himself to his knees to look around his new environment.

Alpha stills, “General?”

For a moment, he thinks his Jetii is dead and that’s why Ventress had finally let him see the man, planning on leaving him with the body until he either talks or dies, but then Kenobi’s head lifts, and he mumbles something that sounds like Alpha’s name.

He’d been thrown into a cell with his Jedi, and - Ka’ra, Kenobi looks worse than Alpha feels. He’s not in a torture machine like Alpha had been, and is instead actually strung up, shackled to the broken pipe above his head. The pipe is far enough above him that the General is forced to balance on his toes or risk dislocating his shoulders. The rags that had once been distinctive Jedi robes hang off his ravaged body in bloodied strips, soaked by the water steadily dripping onto the skin of his back, turning it ashen and nearly blue from the chill. Worse of all is the skin-tight leather hood that had been pulled over the Jedi’s head, leaving only the blood-shot blue of his eyes visible.

Something about the thing makes Alpha’s skin crawl with unease and disgust, and makes his fury pound like a drumbeat in his ears. Kenobi looks small and breakable and defeated, and it ignites a blaze of choking hatred in his chest. He shouldn’t look like that, and Alpha will tear Ventress apart for daring to hurt one of his people.

But there’s still fire in his Jetii, Alpha can tell the moment their eyes meet. He can see thousands of plans of escape running through Kenobi’s head, and it makes him grin, sharp-toothed and bloodied.

#cole writes #fanfiction #star wars #alpha 17 #alpha 17/obi wan kenobi #obi wan kenobi #asajj ventress #whumptober 2020 #no.7 i've got you #carrying #torture #alpha-17 #alpha-17/obi-wan kenobi #obi17

35 notes · View notes

robron1609 · 4 years

Text

Remembering Robron 2020

Day 2 - Friendship

Prompt: "You took all the pillows, so I'm using you as one."

AO3 Link:

Pillows

Robert guarded the mountain of creased, misshapen pillows at the foot of his bed, a smirk spreading across his face. Aaron sat across from him, leaning on the headrest with his knees drawn up to his chest as he held his chin up high. His feet relentlessly prodded Robert in the back of the kneecap, much to no gain.

“Seriously?” Aaron sulked, regaining his lost breath.

Robert leant backwards, letting the pile of pillows consume him to rub it in his best friend’s face. His lanky, overly smug frame was stretched to its limit, sprawled out across the feather-soft barrier of pillows and blocking Aaron’s access to each and every single one of them.

Robert sniggered, “Just because you’re weak, mate.”

“You have five hundred pillows and won’t even give me one?”

Robert craned his neck, peering around the mess on his bedroom floor. He shifted his weight to reach for a rather large plush toy cat with a pink bowtie that Victoria had left discarded in his room the night before. He lobbed it at Aaron who caught it with a scowl.

“There you go.”

“Cheers.” Aaron replied, shooting Robert a melodramatic smile that spewed sarcasm.

Aaron flung the fuzzy cat up in the air before booting it across the bedroom, watching as it slammed into the bedroom door with such momentum that the power of it brushed the sticker-littered door shut.

“Nice one.” Robert remarked, his eyes closed as he rested his hands on his stomach. Aaron’s gaze had naturally landed on the rise and fall that came from Robert’s steady breathing before drifting up to his light pink lips that twitched a little when he was really relaxed; but it went a miss by both lads.

Aaron sighed before getting up to route through Robert’s desk for the television remote. The only noise in the meantime was the rhythmic ticking of the slanted clock on the wall. It was framed by a few pieces of homework and revision that Robert’s dorky brain had deemed important enough to pin up on the wall for the duration of Year 11.

The noise of the second hand then faded away, replaced with the distant nattering of Jack and Andy’s voices coming from somewhere downstairs, bouncing off the stone walls at an irritating volume. They sounded joyous, laughter trickling into their conversation and all it did was wind Aaron up, reminding him of Robert’s countless rants on the way home from school each afternoon. He would go on and on about how his dad and brother grew closer each day, pushing Robert further and further into that blind spot. Each bluster would always finish in tears that flowed freely by the time they ended up at Robert’s front porch.

Letting it go, Aaron finally ended up with the TV remote in his hand. He pointed it at the TV but got nothing in return. Scoffing, he peeled the back off, only to be greeted by a blank, empty space where the batteries should be. He chucked the control on the bed with a frustrated puff of his cheeks.

“Andy stole ‘em.” Robert simply said. Aaron just rolled his eyes because what else would he do?

As the sun set, Aaron successfully hunted down a pack of double A’s and the two friends shared a greasy, takeaway pizza under the glow of Robert’s lava lamp with reruns of Top Gear playing on the 24 inch television screen. The window rattled and howled and there was a chill in the bedroom as powerful gusts of winds squeezed through the cracks in the windowpane, jumping at each boom and clash of thunder. If Robert listened really carefully, he could hear the familiar sound of the loose TV aerial flapping against the chimney. It was a miracle that they were seeing any pixels at all as the sound kept dipping and cutting off. But neither Robert or Aaron cared, they were just grateful to be in each other’s company.

They were both stuck in the exact same positions as earlier, Robert submerged in his pretentious amount of pillows and Aaron at the other end of the bed, wrapped tightly in Robert’s duvet. As he wiped his lips with the sleeve of his school jumper, Aaron tossed the now empty pizza box aside. High pitch but almost inaudible whistle sounds came from Robert’s nostrils with each slow breath he emitted and Aaron stopped blinking, fighting away a smile. He shuffled around, dragging his duvet cape with him as he rested his head on Robert’s belly. He let out a content sigh.

“What are you doing?” Came Robert’s anxious voice.

“You took all the pillows, so I’m using you as one.”

Aaron’s victory was small. It meant nothing, it was just Aaron being his cheeky self. But the trail of sweat clinging to Robert’s back disagreed. He had gone from warm to hot and didn’t know what to do with himself. He wanted to jump up and shake away that feeling of the back of Aaron’s head pressing on his tingling stomach, the hair at the nape of Aaron’s neck tickling his belly button. Robert’s weary eyes flickered to the clock. It was nearly nine thirty.

“You should probably get home.” Robert said, sitting up so that Aaron had no choice but to shift with a groan.

Aaron frowned, “I thought I was sleeping round tonight?”

“I just remembered I’m needed on the farm in the morning.” Robert muttered. “You’ll probably deck me if I wake ya up at the crack of dawn.”

Robert couldn’t tell if his lies were absorbent enough for Aaron to soak up but either way there was a glint of dread in Aaron’s eyes that shattered his heart into lots of little pieces. He cleared his throat before handing Aaron his tattered school bag, eyes going blurry as he focused on the large coca-cola stain at the bottom of it.

“Sorry.”

Aaron just grabbed his blazer, swinging it over his shoulder as he scuffed his shoes across the hardwood floors. Once Robert had glimpsed out the window to see Aaron trudging down the driveway past the puddles that were reflecting the orange glow of the outside light bulbs, Robert slumped miserably against the back of his bedroom door and let the floodgates open, tears rolling down his pink cheeks one by one.

The following Monday came around quicker than the flick of a cat’s tail and Robert stood in their usual afterschool spot, shivering from the cold as he waited for Aaron to turn up. He leant against the rotting fence, grimacing at the streaks of moss and grime whilst watching the caretaker tirelessly shovel piles of grit onto the icy road.

Him and Aaron had a routine. The same routine they’d been doing together since that fateful day they became friends nearly two years ago. They would meet by salt bins at the top of the school field, start the treacherous path to the bus stop, hop on the bus to Emmerdale and listen to the same songs on Robert’s MP3 player that he’d bought with months worth of pocket money, chatter on their way up to Butler’s Farm and spend the evening playing monopoly or scrabble in front of the log burner as they toasted marshmallows. Most nights they would pair up to scramble something together in the kitchen whilst Jack and Andy grafted on the farm all night. But on Friday’s, they would both chip in to order a takeaway, whether that be pizza or curry. Never fish and chips though, Aaron was oddly persistent about that. They’d eat, they’d laugh and then if he wasn’t staying over Aaron would begrudgingly get the last bus home.

Robert couldn’t imagine his life without Aaron. Now now, not ever. Whatever he dreamed of, whatever he envisioned for his future; Aaron was always there. It all started on Aaron’s 14th birthday a couple of years ago, also known as the first day that a broken Robert had to go back to school without his mum there to fasten his tie and make his packed lunch in the morning. That whole day had been a blur and every inch of his body felt numb. He’d walked around with the kind of pain he would never wish on his worst enemy. That was until the last lesson of the day - Physics. This mouthy chav with weird spikey hair slouched on the chair next to him, wearing a giant ‘14’ badge and chewing way too much gum. He had somehow stayed in Robert’s life, and heart, from that day on.

Today, however, it was getting dark and Aaron was still nowhere to be seen. So for the first time in two years, Robert stepped on the empty bus back to Emmerdale by himself.

When he arrived home, he creaked the door open and flicked his bedroom light on, shuddering at the silence. He dumped his bag and let out a wivering sigh as he sat on the edge of his bed to pull his shoes off, letting them tumble carelessly to the floor. He sniffed, swallowing the scared, cowardly lump at the back of his throat. His watery eyes landed on the small collection of framed pictures on his dusty windowsill; one of his mum sporting an infectious smile a few months before she’d died, and one of himself, Aaron and Liv. He’d only met Aaron’s little sister and step mum once - the day they’d posed for that photo together. He hadn’t stayed for long, Aaron had been on edge the whole time, sending Robert away before his dad had even returned home from work. Aaron never speaks of the day he let Robert come round.

The display on Robert’s nokia came to life and Aaron’s name flickered on the screen. Robert answered it as quickly as humanly possible.

“Aaron? Where were you after school?”

”Can I come over?”

“Of course.”

The only response was a bleep at the other end of the line so Robert stayed put. And waited. And waited some more. Until an hour or so later when Aaron snuck into Robert’s bedroom, snowflakes melting away on his coat. Robert gasped slightly, eyebrows pressed together in a frown as he told Aaron to put his sopping wet jacket on the radiator and chucked him a chunky woolen blanket.

Aaron cosied up in Robert’s desk chair, picking away at the peeling leather on the side. He chewed nervously at the inside of his cheeks, gazing up at Robert through his eyelashes.

“Why did you suddenly get rid of me on Friday? And don’t lie to me again.”

“I- I told you.” Robert stammered, after a moment of uncomfortable silence that ran Aaron’s patience thin. “I was busy.”

“And I told you I don’t believe you.” Aaron retorted.

It wasn’t a complete fib. Robert had been busy, just not on the farm like he’d claimed. He’d spent that entire morning feeling sorry for himself, laying in bed as he stared vacantly at the cracks and tears on his bedroom ceiling with a stinging heart. Aaron’s name had illuminated Robert’s phone screen for hours, staring him in the face. It nudged him until the battery fell flat and Robert sulked over not having the bottle to press the green button. Instead of nicking the charger from Andy’s room, Robert threw his phone in the wicker shoe basket next to his wardrobe and buried his hand in the sand. Well, his pillow.

Robert wasn’t stupid. He knew that as much as he wanted it to, this... crush he had on his best friend wasn’t going away. It began as a flutter in the bottom of his stomach when Aaron did as much as give him the time of day. And as their friendship grew stronger, that little butterfly that Robert had gotten used to reproduced. It multiplied until a flock of them took over Robert’s body in a matter of months and it was powerful.

Aaron wasn’t stupid either. He’d noticed the not-so-subtle shift in their dynamic. At some point in the past couple of months, when they came back to the farm after school, the scratchy living room carpet they sat cross legged on had changed to the lumps and bumps of Robert’s spring mattress that had seen better days, the awkward silence had changed to a lack of boundaries, the playful slaps and punches had changed to hugs that lasted for just a little too long and the one versus one football matches in the park had changed to stingy little dinner dates that they both turned up to looking their best.

The squeaking of the wheels from his desk chair brought Robert back into the room and he looked up to find Aaron spinning in circles on the chair, like what Vic does when she’s waiting for her big brother to get off his arse and play Vets with her.

Robert perched at the edge of his bed, drumming on his knees.

Aaron spoke tentatively, “What is it, really? I can take it.”

Robert stuck his leg out, hooking the bottom of Aaron’s chair with his foot. It stopped spinning abruptly and Aaron then realised just how serious Robert’s tensed features were.

“Do you remember last summer when you caught me kissing that boy in one of the barns?” Robert asked, a little clumsily as he raced through his words.

“Yeah, the farmhand. We never spoke about that.”

“We didn’t need to.” Robert exhaled shakily. “Anyway, things went a little further. We ended up in here.”

Aaron felt a wave of jealousy splash over his feet which he tried his utmost hardest to ignore. “Okay. And then what happened?”

“My dad caught us before anything could happen. He sacked him on the spot and then he- he beat me black and blue, basically. He started proper shouting, kept saying how no son of his would ever-” The strain in Robert’s throat caught up with him and he couldn’t breath, scraping for air as his tears burned and hushed him. He felt Aaron’s hands on his trembling back, pulling him close enough to feel Aaron’s chest heaving in sync against his. It calmed him like a lullaby.

Robert could still feel the bruises from Jack's disgust that marked him for days. They’d followed him the next morning when he hobbled over to the church, sobbing and desperate to talk to his mum again. Just to feel her arms around him one last time, listen to her calming voice tell him that he was loved for who he was.

“Listen to me.” Aaron put his palms either side of Robert’s face, tilting the blond’s heavy head up to meet his eyes. “Whoever you like, whatever you like, it doesn’t matter. Okay? You’re still so amazing and Jack is mad for not seeing that.”

“Do you really mean that?” Robert asked through a sniffle.

“Of course.” Aaron smiled, rubbing Robert’s back to sooth him.

Robert dabbed at his tears with a balled up fist under his sleeve, counting softly and silently to try and calm his uneven breathing. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5. Aaron lunged forward to give Robert a tight hug. He nestled his head in the crook of Robert’s neck and Robert let one last tear fall, melting in Aaron’s uplifting embrace. With Robert’s nose snug against Aaron’s shoulder, he inhaled the warming scent of his best friend and the corner of his lips curled up. It was like he got high off Aaron’s smell and often used, no, needed it as relief when his head was mashed. Except this time, he couldn’t seem to get enough and when Aaron let him go he delved in, eyes squeezed shut, and planted his lips on Aaron’s. But before he even knew what he was doing, he felt Aaron’s palms press firmly on his chest, pushing him away.

“What are you doing?” Aaron gulped, a flash of panic flying across his face. He backed away from Robert like a threatened animal at the zoo.

Robert’s stare flicked repeatedly between Aaron’s slightly parted lips and his hand that hovered over the door handle ready to flee if need be. Except Aaron wasn’t leaving. He’d froze on the spot, chin trembling as his eyes glued themselves to Robert’s. It was like he wanted to tear them away with every fibre of his being but something was stopping him.

Robert shrugged, “I- I’m sorry.”

And he honestly didn’t know what was running through Aaron’s mind. Perhaps it was a reflection of his own memories. Vivid images of Aaron clicking his pen on the desk at school, head resting on the palm of his hand as waited for the bell to ring. When he thought Robert was solely focused on jotting down notes, Aaron would often let his eyes avert to the odd boy who had been taking up his daydreams that week. Wistfully gazing into the back of some boy’s head until he snapped his attention away and frantically scribbled in his text book, acting like all those thoughts and labels whirling around his mind from day to day weren’t important.

Robert had picked up on it and it kept him awake at night.

It had landed them both to this moment right now.

“Robert?” Aaron’s voice was timid.

“Mm?”

Aaron reached to put his arms around Robert’s neck, gently pulling him closer until their lips met again. Robert relaxed and kissed him back in a heartbeat.

8 Years Later

Aaron dangled the key to his and Robert’s new home off the tip of his finger. Their first home. He was standing in the centre of the unfurnished flat, Robert’s arm draped over his shoulder as he beamed at his fiancé.

“It’s going to take a lot of work but-”

Aaron cut Robert off, “It doesn’t matter, it’s already perfect.”

“Soft lad.” Robert noted.

“Oi!" Aaron jabbed Robert in the stomach. "There’s only one soft lad around here and it’s not me.”

Robert gave a light laugh before worming his hand around the back of Aaron’s neck and smiling into a kiss.

Years ago, as the last year of school had drawn to a close, the two of them had gone their separate ways. When their little bubble of secrecy burst and the honeymoon period came to an abrupt end, Robert fell to the black sheep of his family. With a long summer ahead, the feuding became tiresome and eventually drove him out of the village as autumn loomed. Aaron woke up one morning and Robert just wasn’t there. No note, no goodbye, nothing. Just a cold pillow and a long continuous beep when his number was dialled.

Aaron had never needed him more when things at home spiraled into dark, nasty and uncharted places and he felt constantly bruised and suffocated under the monstrous hands of the one person who was supposed to love him and keep him safe. With the help of Sandra and his mum, he’d successfully fought tooth and nail to put his so called father behind bars and leave him to rot all the way to hell.

Him and his mum's relationship had had a bumpy start but that can be expected when coming face to face for the first time in over a decade in a courtroom of all places. Hardly ideal. However, Chas battled seamlessly to prove herself and now they had got back the bond Aaron had dreamed of having since the day she upped and left. Aaron had got his life back. Even if it was incomplete until Robert had returned.

And as for Robert… well, that's a story for another day. For now, it remains one of those questions that lives on unanswered.

"So, pub or takeaway? Unless you want to cook." Robert asked, snagging Aaron's train of thought.

Aaron snorted, "And wake up on moving day with food poisoning? Nah, you're alright."

"Fair enough. Pizza it is." Robert patted himself down in search of his phone and pulled it out, his back scraping down the wall until he landed on the floor with a thud.

Aaron slid his hands in his pockets and parroted Robert, legs stuck out in front of him as he sat.

"We should've brought a cushion or something." Robert pointed out.

Aaron looked at Robert like he had hung the moon. "Don't need a pillow, I've got you for that."

As Aaron curled up and snuggled his head between Robert's stomach and lap, Robert wondered how his heart hadn't swelled up so much that it burst through the defences of his ribcage and flustered skin. Robert truly counted his luck stars because if he ever lost Aaron, he would lose his heart as well. But they were a long way from that. In this moment, his hand covered Aaron's and their engagement rings clinked together in sweet harmony.

#rememberingrobron2020 #robron3daybonanza2020 #robron #aaron dingle #robert sugden #myfanfic

2 notes · View notes

zekroudon · 4 years

Text

The Song of our Hearts (Lukadrien June 2020)

@lukadrien-june

Day 19: Flower Language

Luka has planned a lovely evening with Adrien on Valentine's day, he hopes everything will go well. You can read it on Ao3 here.

Today is one of the few rare days Adrien gets to spend as he wants. Today also happens to be Valentine’s Day. I planned our whole evening: I pick him up at school, then we go to this park I found where we see the sun setting behind the Eiffel Tower and we eat picnic while I play guitar for him. I will even play him his heart song. It’s not perfect yet, but I hope he’ll like it. Then we end the evening by walking along the Seine back to his home and we share our first kiss. I have even got his bodyguard on board so he’ll give us some space, which surprised me since I expected him to be stricter. Well, I won’t complain.

It will be a perfect evening. I’m not usually the one to plan romantic stuff, it’s usually more his forte, but I wanted to do something to show how much he means to me.

I wait for him down the steps to his school, a single red rose in my hand behind me. My guitar on my back. I notice Adrien’s bodyguard standing a few meters away with my backpack and another bag I don’t recognize. Students start to walk out the doors and I spot Nino’s red hat followed by golden hair. My boyfriend’s friend is snatched by his girlfriend and he waves goodbye before disappearing at the corner of the street. Adrien stands in the steps confused as to where the car might be. His brows scrunch up as his confusion grows.

I raise my free hand and wave at him. His expression softens the moment he sees me and his eyes glow like the prettiest of gems. He runs to me excitedly and I meet him halfway. He goes to hug me, but I step back. I see a short flash of hurt and confusion on his face before it morphs to joy as I give him the rose.

"So, what did you plan for our evening?

- Ts, ts, it’s a surprise, sunshine."

He beamed at me like a child on Christmas Eve, and my heart explodes. He’s so cute! I take his hand in mine and we start walking to our first stop.

We come across multiple couples and everyone seems happy. The restaurants are filled with people. Others walk with bouquets in their hands. My rose is a little pale in comparison to those enormous bouquets, but I hope our date makes up for it. Adrien’s smile tells me that I’m in the right direction. My hand is a little sweaty in his, though he doesn’t seem to notice, too preoccupied admiring the streets. I cross my fingers hoping Hawkmoth won’t akumatize anyone today, a heartbroken lover on Valentine’s day must not be that hard to find. My boyfriend turns to me, face still glowing.

"Will you play something, he asks? I know you always carry your guitar with you, but I really like it when you play for me…

- I told you to not ask any questions, don’t you like surprises?

- Well, yours yes, not my father’s, he replies dryly."

Gabriel had wanted to send Adrien on a fake date with some girl on Valentine’s day. The girl was a high businessman’s daughter and he wanted to strengthen the bond between their companies. The aftermath wasn’t pretty and the girl in question ended up akumatized when she learned that Adrien was already in a relationship with a guy and Gabriel, the company, was too old school to allow the face of its brand to date a guy.

We arrive at the park and I borrow my bag from the Gorilla who gives the bag to Adrien. I lay a blanket on the ground next to a tree so we’ll be able to lean on it to watch the sunset behind the Eiffel Tower. We sit next to each other facing the sun. The light makes Adrien’s hair shine like gold and his eyes sparkle. No matter how many times I see it, it always inspires me when composing my music. He’s my sun warming and shining in my heart. I blink and I realize that I’ve lost myself in his eyes once again. I place the box with the sandwiches between us with the water bottles and juice boxes.

A couple laughs nearby. There are candles lit between them surrounded by what looks like an elaborate lunch with salads, croissants, and other stuff I can’t make out from afar. Compared to them, my torn blanket with holes, the basic sandwiches I made and the water bottles look incredibly cheap. Even more for someone like Adrien who lives in luxury…

A soft hand caresses my cheeks and turns my head. My aqua eyes meet his emerald one again. Heat creeps up my cheeks but I don’t really care. His other hand is behind his back holding something.

"I love it, Luka, it’s perfect. As long as I get to spend time with you, I know it will be great.

- Thank you, Adrien, but you deserve so much more…

- The time you spent to prepare this is worth more than any amount of money I have. I’ll always cherish anything you make yourself. Here, it’s for you! You may be able to speak through music, but I can use flowers to tell you how much you mean to me."

He reveals a bouquet of roses, each a different color. From reds to blues, it may not be the best mix of colors, but I don’t care, it’s the prettiest I’ve seen.

He looks at me sheepishly, though his face morphs to delight as I smile warmly at him.

"Thank you, Adrien, they’re beautiful…

- I’m glad you like them, they weren’t easy to find. Most florists only had red ones. Do you… you know… want to know what the colors mean?

- Of course, I was hoping you’d tell me."

He looks so ecstatic that I’m scared the remnants of my heart will shatter again.

" So, the red ones are for love. It’s the more common one we see on Valentine’s Day.

- I love you too, I reply as I pick up my guitar while he holds the bouquet. What about the blue ones?

- I love you more! Blue is mystery and intrigue. It sounds ominous, but it reminded me of how free I am with you and the unknown future our relationship will bring. Deep in my heart, I know that as long as we’re together, I’ll be happy and loved.

- You make me happy too, Adrien. Those are orange, right?

- Yes! They represent passion and enthusiasm. They’re also the complementary color to blue. Thinking of you always brightens my day, even in the darkest times, and I may like fencing and other things, but I’m passionate about you.

- You’re the enthusiastic one though, I add with a wink, and the last ones are?

- Oh, they’re coral! It’s close to white, but they mean desire, my burning desire for you.

- That’s amazing Adrien, I could never have asked for a better bouquet of roses on Valentine’s Day."

Without realizing it, our faces have moved close, really close. My heart beats to the rhythm of his heart, to the rhythm of his music. A voice echoes through it, a hopeful message.

Kiss me .

I close my eyes leaning forward. I barely feel the edge of my guitar press against my chest. My nose grazes his as I gently tip my head to the side. Our lips meet in an explosion of warmth and love. I caress his cheek with my hand and I slowly break the kiss.

Eyes still closed; I feel his breath on my skin as our foreheads touch. The world slowly comes back to me, the cars roaming the streets, birds chirping in the tree, people talking and laughing. Adrien’s hand covering mine on his cheek. I softly look at him, amazed once again by the love emanating from him. I’m honored to be able to bask in it so regularly. He deserves the world, and if he says I’m his, I’ll make sure to be worthy of it.

Adrien takes one of the coral roses and tucks it gently in my hair.

"There’s only one thing I wanted for Valentine’s Day, Luka, and it’s you."

#Lukadrien June 2020 #Lukadrien #adrien agreste #Luka Couffaine #day 19: flower language #zekroudon's fics

5 notes · View notes

itsbap · 6 years

Text

[INTERVIEW] KCrush Interview with Rapper and Songwriter Bang Yong-guk

As a Korean rapper, songwriter, and record producer, and former leader and main rapper of K-Pop group B.A.P, Bang Yong-guk has had a storied career, and he’s not even 30-years-old (born March 31, 1990)! In 2008, Yong-guk made his debut in the underground Hip-Hop group Soul Connection using the pseudonym “Jepp Blackman,” and since then, he’s become a popular figure in the Korean music scene, especially for international fans who enjoy his artistic flair and meaningful songs.

On August 19, 2018, Yong-guk’s contract with TS Entertainment ended, so he is now free to pursue his own music and projects. 2019 marks Yong-guk’s new beginnings as a soloist without the K-Pop chains.

On January 20, 2019, he made his solo comeback with the single, “Hikikomori,” his first comeback since “Drunkeness” back in May 25, 2018. We were lucky to be able to attain an interview from Bang Yong-guk, while awaiting his HIKIKOMORI single to be dropped on the 20th of January 2019.

*Thank you so much for taking time out for a KCrush Interview. Could you briefly introduce yourself to our readers please?

– Hello, this is Bang Yong-guk. It’s nice to meet you all.

*You have a new single is out on the 20th of January, tell us why did you choose “Hikikomori” as the title and the meaning behind the cover.

– Hikikomori is based on my own story which expresses the inner loneliness and confusion from my experience.

I tried to express the feelings I get when I look in the mirror and see my real self when I am off-stage, the fear I have towards the people in the outside world, and the disturbing feeling that I get from being confined in a room that seems like it is protecting me but, at times, it just feels like imprisonment. I put in the effort to put music, artwork, photography and video together. As to the artwork on the cover, I initially did the drawing and the design was developed on it.

*Your Instagram and MVs focus a lot on aesthetics and art, especially black and white images. Does art hold a lot of significance for you?

– I began using the black and white filter when uploading my photos and I continued using it.

At first, I selected the filter because I felt somewhat uncomfortable with the colorful photos seen on the social media. It really doesn’t hold any special meaning or significance, but I like the fact the black and white filter seemed to convey more colors for me personally. However, I think using black and white for other data other than my own photos may seem a bit too stubborn of me, so I am trying to use less these days. But I still like black and white.

*What kind of music are you into these days?

– Since I was working on my studio album, I didn’t get to listen much of other artists’ music other than my own. I usually enjoy listening to James Blake when I’m working. I tend to listen to the song, “Don’t Miss It” the most. James Blake is an artist who really inspires me and for that, I am very appreciative.

*It seems you’ve taken up tennis. Could we ask how good you are at playing the sport?

– I’m still a beginner. Tennis was a sport that I wanted to learn since I was young but I couldn’t make the time for it while I was active in the group.

When I left the company, tennis was the first thing I began learning. At the time, I thought to myself that I should do what I want to do when I first bought a tennis racket.

*You have a few noticeable tattoos; do they hold any particular meanings to you?

– I don’t necessarily enjoy getting myself tattooed but I have the tendency or just a weird habit of wanting to leave a trace on my body whenever I experience certain incidents.

I never got a tattoo thinking that they’d look cool on me or anything like that. When I made up my mind to get one done, I think that it was usually because I was out of control and they weren’t always done due to good memories.

*If you were a character of an anime or a video game, what would you be and why?

– That seems like a difficult one to answer. I’m just too ordinary to be like a character of any kind, and not a likely candidate to appear in an anime or a video game. If I ever thought of wanting to be one… Because I enjoy playing soccer video games, I’ve wanted to be one of the referees in a soccer video game, rather than the cool-looking soccer players.

*Which characteristics do you and your twin share and what are your differences?

– Well, I find it amusing that we have the same voice, height, and face but our personalities are completely the opposite. I like staying at home while my twin brother likes to go out and hang out with his friends.

*Will you be collaborating with any of your former group members in the future? And if you could collaborate with an American artist, who would it be?

– I always have in mind that I would be doing some great projects with the members in the future. The American artist I would like to collaborate with is Joji. Everything he has done is art.

*Do you have any movies, books or musicals that you’ve enjoyed recently?

– The Shape of Water.

*Do you have a preference to a color and what colors don’t you like?

– My wardrobe is just filled with black and white. I don’t think I like any colors that stand out in the crowd.

*What do you do to maintain your health and to release stress?

– My way of managing my health is not to pay much attention or care into it, but I would not recommend that.

I don’t know how to releasing stress, so I always keep it inside, and that’s how I am able to produce songs in the studio.

*What did you like the most about touring? How are the Babyz overseas different from the Korean Babyz?

– The tours that we’ve done have always been a joy for me. Whether it was on or off stage, they were the only times when I felt I could really breathe. And those times are filled with great memories for me. I do not think the fans outside of Korea are particularly different from Korean fans. I’m just so grateful that they love me and support what I do. I can feel they truly care about me.

*Who do you respect and feel the most grateful towards?

– My grandfather is whom I respect the most and the one I am the most thankful for. Although he is in heaven now, I still think he’s guiding me. My grandfather is practically a religion to me, and I love him.

*Please tell us about your future plans, goals and hopes for this year and beyond.

– I wish to begin this year by showcasing everything that I have to offer. My studio album is almost complete, so please show support.

I will also be doing new projects with friends who are artists to produce music, pictures, photographs, videos, fashion, designs, writing…

If any of you would like to participate, please contact me.

Now that I’m free, I think I will be able to do anything. Thank you.

Kcrush would like to thank Bang Yong-guk for his time and wish him much success with his single “Hikikomori” plus his upcoming album.

#b.a.p #yongguk #t:interview #190119 #kcrush

597 notes · View notes

fayewonglibrary · 5 years

Text

Melting of the Ice Queen (2000)

Once the music world’s Ice Queen, Faye Wong warms up to motherhood and new love as Rebecca Li uncovers.

AS Faye Wong walks into the photo studio at Chai Wan, Hong Kong, casually dressed in baby-blue pants and pink No Name sneakers that look like a cross between sports shoes and ballet slippers, she looks relaxed and girlish.

The colours of her outfit suggest that her life is absolutely bright and sunny. Even without makeup, her eyes obscured by aviator shades, she still looks completely stunning.

Well-known for her nonchalance to the media and her chameleon-like image changes, Asia’s most charismatically enigmatic chanteuse seems to have mellowed. Does it have anything to do with the birth of her daughter Jingtong in February 1997?

“The greatest change in me came not after the birth of my child, but after I converted to Buddhism in 1992,” says the 31-year-old. “I used to ask myself questions like ‘Why is it so?’ But not everything in the world can be explained. If it is so, it is so; there is no why. If it is fated, then it is so! You can only learn to accept your fate. A simple principle, but easier said than done.”

LIFE GOES ON

With her divorce from Taiwanese rocker Dou Wei out of the way, Faye seems to have moved on. The big news now is that she is dating a younger man, and not just any younger man too, but Hong Kong heartthrob Nicholas Tse, who’s all of 19.

The source of the rumor? The pair was snapped by paparazzi earlier this year, kissing at a party in Hong Kong club Greenspot…during a drinking game. And to add fuel to the fire, they have also been spotted having intimate dinners together on several occasions.

Gossip aside, it’s amazing how the public just cannot get enough of this long-limbed, 1.72 metre-tall Beijing-born beauty, who first set foot in Hong Kong in 1987 at the age of 18.

Back then, the artiste formerly known as Shirley Wong Ching Man didn’t even speak a word of Cantonese, and out of boredom, she enrolled herself in singing classes that helped her develop that ethereal voice that she is now so famous for.

After spending a couple of years in New York studying music, she returned to Hong Kong in 1992, changed her name to Faye, and released an album entitled COMING HOME. The rest, as they say, is history. In 1993, she was voted “Most Popular Asian Singer” and over the years, her star has just kept rising higher.

Within a short span of time, Faye has attained the kind of pop icon status that took her favorite singer Teresa Teng an entire lifetime to achieve.

Fans from as far as France devote entire websites to her. Film critics in Sweden gave her the “Best Actress” award for her role in CHUNGKING EXPRESS. Sony Playstation felt she was appealing enough to the youth market to pay her US$1 million to sing the ending theme song for their popular video game Final Fantasy 8.

If you’d holidayed in China last year and felt a thirst for Pepsi, you would have seen her gorgeous face emblazoned all over the can (that is, before the limited edition ran out).

A Japanese cellphone company used her for their commercial, but that perhaps is not even half as flattering as the fact that a Taiwanese artiste, Kung Mei Mei, released a debut album entitled I LOVE FAYE WONG.

QUEEN OF MODESTY

Faye has proven herself as one of the very few singers who have made a successful crossover into acting, with CHUNGKING EXPRESS, LOVE AFFAIR IN OKINAWA (which hit Singapore screens on 9 August) and the yet-to-be-completed 2046. But she still remains unimpressed by her own thespian talents.

“Actually I don’t have much acting to do in LOVE AFFAIR IN OKINAWA… and it is nothing as crazy as the character in CHUNGKING EXPRESS. It is much more normal and easy-going.”

And contrary to what others say, the movie has not been tailormade for her, she clarifies. “Maybe they just know this is how I am, I simply can’t act. Maybe it is because it is a different director (Peter Chan). I have only worked with Wong Kar Wai before. I’m more familiar with what he wants… I’m afraid of the demands from other directors, that I may not be able to meet their requirements…”

Faye says that she does not like acting because it involves teamwork and requires a lot of patience.

“For me, when you are making a movie, you have to wait. It takes a lot of time, and it can be boring. When you sing, you just need to go to the studio. I would know if I have not sung a line well, so I can ask to do it again. When it comes to acting, I wouldn’t know which way is better. When the director says it is okay, then it’s okay for me, I wouldn’t have any opinion of my own.

"I have also sought advice from many actors, like Carina Lau, for example, who never went through formal training either. She said, it will be fine, just keep doing it, it will come with experience! Maybe that’s true, I’ve only made three movies, which is not much of an experience.”

While most actors eagerly dissect every film they can get their hands on, Faye says she is not even a movie buff to begin with. “I don’t like to watch martial arts movies, war movies, period movies,” she says, without pausing for breath. “I do watch comedies, but if it is blatantly slapstick, I will definitely not watch it.”

And contrary to how so-called “serious” actors try to get into their roles by trying to get under the skin of the character they’re taking on, Faye prefers not to get in too deep.

“When you are doing a Wong Kar Wai movie, you can never be quite in it, because you won’t even know what the story is all about. When I was filming CHUNGKING EXPRESS, I really didn’t know what I was doing. You have to read the script a few times to understand what he’s trying to say. As I was playing the role, I was feeling that this girl is so irritating and inexplicable. Haha…" Self-mockery has always been a virtue of survivors.

LOVE ACCORDING TO FAYE

Now that she has reclaimed her "single” status, perhaps Faye will reveal the kind of man that attracts her?

But this line of questioning doesn’t get much information out of her – Faye would rather speak in generalities, and not about any specific person. Nicholas Tse’s name is not mentioned throughout the interview.

Sexiness, Faye says, is a matter of personality, a kind of feel. For her, there are no criteria to speak of.

“I have always been one to follow my intuition. When it feels right, then it’s right. The most important thing for a man is to be upright, frank, not to make me do any second-guessing, not to say one thing and do another thing. Whether he is sexy or not is secondary. There is not particular look that I go for. Except that I don’t like guys that talk to much.”

Still, despite her ice queen persona, there’s still a hint that the man who manages to make her thaw will find a hopeless romantic underneath.

“I feel that everything is fated. When a person is in love, it is like having a magic spell cast on you, you just can’t wriggle out of it, and you can’t be so level-headed as to examine yourself objectively. Some would calculate various factors while choosing a marriage partner and decide according to one’s requirements. But I’m definitely not someone like that.”

Translated by Ts’ Ming.

FAYE ON HER LEADING MEN

Tony Leung Chiu Wai - “I have worked with him the most number of times but never really talked to him. I don’t understand him too well. He doesn’t talk much, but sometimes he would behave like … he would be very affectionate, it’s rather odd. I guess he is harder to fathom.”

Leslie Cheung - “He is a buddy. He is someone who makes clear distinctions between what he loves and what he hates. He would explain why he likes something and why he doesn’t like something … a headstrong type of person.”

Tony Leung Kar Fai - “He is a very agreeable character, he would share his private matters with others, things like where his family has gone traveling, what they have encountered, how his daughter is doing … I think he would make a perfect husband, very nice, caring, and attentive.”

Takuya Kimura - “Kimura is a very smart person. But sometimes he’s very playful too. He’s actually a very professional actor.”

UP CLOSE AND PERSONAL

On hobbies - “Shopping for clothes is no longer my hobby, I only shop for 'working clothes’, so that doesn’t count. Recently, I haven’t’ had any hobbies. Apart from work, I just lie around at home, or meet up with some friends. I have not played mahjong for a long time." (Right, who has time for mahjong when one is too busy dating?)

On music - "Thinking back on my first record, it was released without much thought, and it was not very me. I tend to be more carefree while recording in the studio, other than that I behave very awkwardly. I’m not one who needs to listen to music everyday.”

On pursuits - “I’m not very worried about what to eat, or what to wear, just as long as I have a place to live comfortably. Actually I’m usually not so concerned about my appearance. I think the only thing I care for is my records, choosing my songs, recording a good album. Although there are some works that I’m satisfied with, I still hope to do more.”

On happiness - “A lot of times, that’s just a state of mind. As long as you know how to let go, you will be much happier.”

On her daughter - “I never planned to have children. I’m not a patient person but I tend to be nicer to children. Fortunately, Jing Tong is not naughty at all. I will not interfere with her future, my responsibility is just to raise her. Whichever path she takes from then on would be her own, that’s beyond my control.”

MAKING OF A COVER GIRL

Faye Wong has a habit of browsing through magazines while making up. She would rather stay a while longer than to rush an interview while making up and doing her hair. Such insistence is rare among entertainers, but how else to share your thoughts with so many people around to interrupt?

So this reporter had to watch her making up, doing her hair, trying her dress and taking the polaroids for a full five hours. But that helped her to warm up and made it easier to strike up a conversation.

As expected, her daughter Jing Tong turned up at 5:30 pm sharp, insisted on a hug and kiss, and on being Faye’s personal dresser – she followed Mum into the changing room. Faye looked completely transformed as she emerged, and her daughter started to mimic her, much to everyone’s amusement.

During the interview, the cute little girl interrupted three or four times, but she also knew when to back off after every act, without being told off.

As the interview drew to a close, Jing Tong grew more and more impatient. She shouted with all her might: “Mum, Mum, let’s go home!" It sounded like a little wish that was too long suppressed.

------------------------------------------------------------------

SOURCE: ELLE

#2000

3 notes · View notes

miraculousmidnightreviews · 5 years

Text

There will definitely be an explanation for my review of reputation

Album: reputation

Artist: Taylor Swift Rating: 5/5 stars

I would first like to preface this review with one fact: reputation is my favorite album by Taylor Swift. It should be noted that I did not rate this album based on the average of each individual song rating. (If I did, the actual album rating would be 4.5 stars.) But I felt that this album deserved more. So much more.

What I admire most about reputation is its honest introspectiveness. I think it’s safe to say that no one predicted this album to be The Next Taylor Swift Album. The lead single is distinctly not like previous Swift singles, providing an unexpectedly darker side to Swift. And the album cover is devoid of Swift’s usual bright or pastel colors. Yet what people brushed off as a risky and failed move designed to turn around Swift’s career, her reputation, became the most truthful album of her discography.

At this point, whether you’re a fan of Swift or not, you can’t doubt her abilities. She knows how to create chart-topping hits; she knows how to pen heart-wrenching ballads; she’s done it before. And she’ll continue to do so for the rest of her career. But reputation was never meant to be the next 1989, the next record-breaking financial success (although it was to some extent). This album was meant to be something else entirely: an admittedly risky exploration that only Swift could pull off.

And I respect that immensely. This album is honest, and it’s brave. It might not be her most sonically cohesive or lyrically complex album, but it wins anyways. I love that the songs are in chronological order as they pertain to Swift’s life, and while that means it can be hard to listen to the songs without skipping around, the album itself is a journey through Swift’s year of solitude, through her mind space and blossoming relationship, through her life away from the eyes of the public and the media. To me, it’s clear Swift wrote reputation not because she needed to stick to her schedule of releasing an album every other year, but because she just needed to cope with events in her life. I appreciate that maybe even more than the honesty: that Swift wrote this album because she needed it; she wrote it for herself and no one else.

In anticipation of Lover coming out on Aug. 23, I will be reviewing each of Swift’s albums up until the forthcoming album’s release. I can’t wait to listen to new TS music, and I hope these reviews will provide a wistful and refreshing glance at past eras as we look forward to a brand new one.

Continue reading below for my review of each individual song.

1) ...Ready For it?

Rating: 4/5 stars

*clears throat*

At first listen, I was unsure of the mix of rap and singing. But it’s now one of the songs from this album that I play when I’m in That Mood™.

Did I mention Taylor raps?!?

The pre-chorus is so “Wildest Dreams”-esque that I can’t. I just can’t. (Also, sexy!)

That Elizabeth Taylor reference!!! I love it when artists make pop culture references in their works. It gives me a dopamine rush.

As always, it’s nice to hear Swift play with the perception of herself. She’s just so great at turning her reputation as portrayed by the media into a clever and witty line or song.

i’M So vERy TAme nOW (Sarcasm on point. She did that.)

2) End Game (feat. Future & Ed Sheeran)

4/5 stars

Taylor raps! Pt. 2

BIG REPUTATION

I love the features on this one, and I’m very surprised by Future. But that’s Taylor Swift, keeping us on our toes.

This song includes the first of many references to alcohol from this album. A first for Swift, but all those who are surprised need to grow the fuck up. Because Swift certainly did.

Also, notice “End Game” has the first mention of gold, a motif that will continue throughout the album.

3) I Did Something Bad

Rating: 5/5 stars

Probably my favorite song from this album. The live performance was also my favorite of hers.

badass vibes all the way

IF A MAN TALKS SHIT THEN I OWE HIM NOTHING

I am absolutely in love with the feminist-y witch metaphor in the bridge. Iconic.

Also cool that Swift was inspired by Game of Thrones for this and other songs from this album.

4) Don’t Blame Me

Rating: 5/5 stars

All the gospel feels

TAKE ME TO CHURCH, TAYLOR!!!

THAT high note

Once again, the honesty

5) Delicate

Rating: 5/5 stars

When the album first came out, this was the song that I immediately played the most and connected to. I just adore how she was able to take these universal feelings and put them into a song that anyone just starting a relationship can relate to.

The music video is so underrated. It’s so cute and happy and I just love it and her so much.

1 2 3, LET’S GO BITCH!!!!!!

The repetition of “isn’t it?” to reflect anxiety is, once again, an example of Swift’s lyrical genius.

6) Look What You Made Me Do

Rating: 4/5 stars

YOU’LL ALL GET YOURS

A lot of people did not like this song when it first came out and some still don’t. I happen to like it a lot. While the chorus is not my favorite, the verses bite with amazing zingers and that’s what hooks me.

I think when everyone first heard this song, we assumed the rest of the album would sound similarly: dark and filled with vengeance. But with the exception of a few songs, I would consider reputation to be one of Swift’s happiest albums. There are certainly dark overtones, but at its heart, reputation is an album about love and acceptance in the aftermath of Swift’s metaphorical death. If you consider 1989 for comparison, the composition of its songs (and even the album cover) present a romantic and hopeful facade, when actually, many songs have depressing lyrics about the fate of romantic relationships.

The bridge is so reminiscent of the bridge from Blank Space in a way. They give me similar vibes, except LWYMMD’s is the follow-up to that of Blank Space.

This song has one of my favorite music videos ever. I love when artists tell stories through their music videos, and Swift never fails at storytelling. (Also, a fantastic lyric video!)

7) So It Goes…

Rating: 2.5/5 stars

I feel like this song embodies what everyone expected from this album at first glance: dark, techno pop.

This one doesn’t really do much for me, but I enjoy the extended metaphor of the magician.

Too much techno, in my opinion.

But sexyyy—“scratches down your back”

8) Gorgeous

Rating: 3.5/5 stars

This song gives me old Taylor vibes, just with a new production.

“Gorgeous” does such an excellent job at conveying the thoughts and feelings surrounding first attraction between two people.

“I guess I’ll just stumble on home to my cats.” Relatable.

Give the original lyrics a listen from Swift’s the making of a song video. They’re heartbreaking.

9) Getaway Car

Rating: 5/5 stars

Now this bitch is DEFINITELY old Taylor storytelling at its finest.

That Tale of Two Cities reference!

THat BRidGE!!!

“And a circus ain’t a love story. And now we’re both sorry.”

Just the complexity of feelings portrayed in this song is utter perfection.

Bonnie & Clyde!!!

This is one of those classic Taylor songs that you turn all the way up while driving down the highway at 70 miles per hour, screaming at the top of your lungs. GO GO GO!!

(not that I’ve ever done that. I follow all speed limits :))

10) King of My Heart

Rating: 4.5/5 stars

The only reason this song doesn’t get 5 stars is because I could have done without the added production (less techno plz).

The beginning always gets me. This and “Call it What You Want” have the saddest beginning lines on the album.

Overall, this is just cute af. Pure fluff.

“jAguARs”

The drums on tour were a wonderful bonus.

Also, the bridge. Swift writes some damn good bridges on this album and just in general.

11) Dancing With Our Hands Tied

Rating: 2.5/5 stars

This song, like “So it Goes…,” doesn’t really do much for me, even though it seems to be a fan favorite. I really preferred the acoustic version of this that she played on tour.

But I appreciate the versatility of her song topics as well as her voice.

12) Dress

Rating: 5/5 stars

First reaction while listening to this song: OMG TAYLOR!!! sexyyyyyy

Her voice *heart eyes*

The pre-chorus is so much fun to sing!!!

“I’m spilling wine in the bathtub” gives me high school party vibes for some reason lol

13) This is Why We Can’t Have Nice Things

Rating: 4/5 stars

I really love everything about this song, except for the chorus. It just wasn’t as fun to sing along to as the rest of the song. (Although purposefully making it sound childish was an effective way to get her point across).

That Gatsby reference!

love Love LOVE the tongue-in-cheek attitude

She missed the parties :(

14) Call It What You Want

Rating: 5/5 stars

so soft & pure

A recovery song is what we really deserve. I love that Taylot took this time for herself.

My heart just bursts when I hear this song.

That feminist bridge tho—a mature and fulfilling continuation of “Love Story” in a way

15) New Year’s Day

5/5 stars

Bittersweet—the perfect closing song to this album

This song perfectly showcases Swift’s heartachingly beautiful songwriting talent.

“please don’t ever become stranger whose laugh I recognize anywhere” really gets me.

With this conclusive song, I can say that Taylor Swift is truly happy and okay. And I’m so proud.

Thanks for reading! I hope you enjoyed this review! Check out other reviews here!

19 notes · View notes

staticscreenwriting · 6 years

Text

Where my heart wants to go - Ben!Roger

Synopsis: There’s dancing and confetti and love.

A/N: Well this was inspired by my eternal love for Ben Hardy and my favorite movie Almost Famous, particularly the scene where Penny Lane dances around the venue after the concert. I wrote this for Ben!Roger but imagine what you will. Feedback is always appreciated. It’s terrifying to write for a fandom you haven’t written for before. ♥

[additional note: I am German. Sometimes I get the tense wrong or make mistakes. I am useless when it comes to punctuation. Go easy on me, please.]

I let my music take me where My heart wants to go

The gentle tunes of a Cat Stevens record softly hull through the almost deserted building of the concert venue.

About an hour ago, the place was filled with people. People dancing and drinking and singing their hearts out to the songs that make them feel alive. The songs that make them feel part of something bigger. Something grand. Something everlasting.

Now they’re gone though and the halls are empty and all that is left is a floor covered entirely in gold and silver confetti and some stray teddy bears and roses that were supposed to land on stage but never quite made it.

And then there’s also (Y/N).

Broom in her hand she’s twirling around the room, sweeping away leftover tinsel in the process. There’s something about that time right after the show, when the people are gone but that all consuming post concert bliss is still there and taking over her every sense.

And it’s silly, really. It’s not her on stage and it’s not her those kids come to see. But she gets to be a part of it anyway. Because those are her friends up there. Her boys. The dorks she always knew would do great things. Epic things. And to just get a glimpse of it, was enough for (Y/N). Enough to feel the magic.

“ Cat Stevens, really ? “

Roger’s voice is low and raspy as he calls out towards her. He’s standing on stage looking down at her. Like a splash of color against the now dark backdrop. His hair is wet from the after show shower and it’s clinging to his face but (Y/N) thinks he looks magnificent.

If there’s ever a person that looks like the pure personification of Rock n Roll and all it entails, (Y/N) is sure that person is Roger.

There’s a certain aura surrounding him. One that she can’t really describe but it’s electric and enticing and it pulls people in. It’s warm and exciting.

It’s what pulled her in all those years ago when she saw him playing drums for the first time. When she accidentally spilled her drink all over his ugly blue shirt after the show. It’s what kept her around through all the difficulties. Through the ups and especially through the down.

It’s what makes it worth it. The exhaustion of going to every single gig. Even the heartbreak of seeing him with yet another girl who is equally as enchanted by him as (Y/N) has been from day one.

Everything about him is worth the heartbreak of knowing he will never be fully hers. Not in the way that she is his. He’s her best friend and that’s good enough. It has to be.

“ You got a problem with my taste in music ? “ she calls out to him, letting the broom fall onto the floor and moving towards the stage.

“ I keep telling you you don’t have to clean up after us. It’s not your job, you’re here because I invited you to come. I just think if you do it anyway you might as well listen to some good music. Not … not that this isn’t it’s just, a bit depressing isn’t it ? “ Roger jokes and sits down at the edge, legs dangling above the ground.

“ It’s whimsical. You’re just grumpy and incompetent “ (Y/N) jokes and despite his best efforts in looking offended, Roger can’t stop the grin from pulling at the corner of his lips.

“ Ah whatever “ he scoffs before really taking in the sight before him.

Just hours ago he was right there looking down into a crowd of adoring eyes. And it made his heart race and his breath quicken and no matter how many times he does it, it’ll always seem surreal. It’s not like he can make out their faces really, but he knows they are there and the form an ocean of lights. He can feel them. Their energy.

But this sight, is so very different and yet it feels so similar. It’s just (Y/N), surrounded by a sea of sparkling confetti. And it’s quiet and serene and he can’t decide in that moment, which view he prefers.

“ You’re looking quite gorgeous down there. With all that glitter. Like a little fairy or some shit like that. “

(Y/N) hopes he doesn’t pick up on the way her cheeks warm up at his words.

“ Aw Rog, you’re flattering me. Gotta watch out there. You’ve got a ego big enough for the both of us. Can’t afford mine getting any bigger. “

As she reaches him, Roger pats the spot next to him, effectively signaling for her to sit down.

(Y/N) lowers herself next to him and rests her head on his shoulder.

“ So did you like it ? “

He asks the same question after every gig she goes to. And she goes to a lot. Pretty much all of them.

And she knows it’s not out of habit or anything like that. He genuinely cares about her opinion. Because he knows she’ll be honest. She always is. Always has been.

“ Was alright, I guess “

Roger shakes his head in mock frustration as he lets out a low chuckle.

For a moment as they sit beside each other, the world seems to slow down. Like time stops for a second and it’s just them and Cat Stevens and confetti and the memories and adrenalin still coursing through their veins from another night of pure magic.

“ What’s it like ? “ (Y/N) asks, her voice so small, hardly more than a whisper.

“ What’s what like ? “

“ Knowing they’re all here to see you. Knowing that you’re making their day. Like — they could be having the worst day and you get to take that burden from them for a few hours. You get to make it okay for a while. You make people happy just by doing what you love. Just by being you. What does that feel like ? “

Fantastic. He wants to say. There’s nothing quite like it. It’s addicting. It’s surreal.

Only it doesn’t feel like that when the lights go off. Because that’s when it really hits him. That no matter how many people he can make happy that night, none of them stay. None of them stick around. And yeah, maybe he likes it that way. Maybe he liked it that way. But sometimes, when times slows down and the world is silent around him. Sometimes that freedom feels pretty lonely.

“ You’re going awfully cheesy on me tonight, huh ?

“ Shut up “ (Y/N) chuckles and jokingly nudges her shoulder against Roger’s “ I mean it. I wanna know what that feels like. I’m not particularly good at anything and I don’t think some stupid office job I’ll eventually end up doing will ever let me experience that feeling. So just tell me. “

He considers his thoughts for a moment. How would one possibly put that feeling into words ? His eyes wander around the room trying to come up with something that comes even close to describing it.

“ Wait here for a moment “ Roger says before walking back behind the stage. Not a minute later, big spotlights illuminate the entire room. So much so, that (Y/N) has to shade her eyes from the bright lights.

“ What in the world are you doing ? Was that necessary ? I think you might’ve blinded me. “

“ Ah don’t be dramatic “ Roger speaks up again before pulling her off the floor and moving her right towards the middle of the stage.

“ Look “ he says, hands gently holding onto her hips.

“ I can’t see a bloody thing, Roger. It’s too bright. “ (Y/N) replies, trying her hardest not to focus too much on the way his skin feels warm against hers, where her shirt has ridden up a little.

“ I know. When I’m up here with all the lights on us and especially back there behind the drums, I can’t really see the people too well. I can sometimes make out shapes and every once in a while I catch a face. But in general, all I do is feel the energy and the passion and the love. “

“ You gotta wear your fucking glasses, mate “

“ Shut up “ he chuckles, mouth so close to (Y/N) ear, she can feel his breath on her skin and it’s sending goosebumps all over her body.

“ You know what I do see, though ? “

“ What’s that ? “

“ You. Sidestage. That big old smile on your face. And that means everything because I know that when all these people leave to go home, you’ll still be there twirling around in the confetti, listening to depressive music my mom would probably enjoy. “

“ Hey it’s good music “

“ You keep telling yourself that, love. “

“ It is. “ (Y/N) whispers, not really keen on engaging in a debate about musical tastes. Roger could go on about that for hours and that was a conversation she could only really endure under the influence of a lot more alcohol.

“ ‘ts good to know you’re there when the lights go off “ Roger murmures as his nose softly stokes along the edge of (Y/N)’s jaw.

This is new. Hugs and kisses on the cheek were a usual for them but this ? This feels different. This feels like it holds a lot more weight. Like something has shifted. Like something’s about to change.

But the thing is, change is fucking terrifying.

“ Rog, what are you doing ? “

(Y/N) feels him shrug his shoulders as his hands lock in front of her body. There’s the flutter of his eyelashes against her cheek. He’s so close.

And this feels like heaven. This feels like something she so desperately dreamed of for so long. (Y/N) desperately wants to give in. Just let herself fall and be engulfed by this strange sensation that seems way too good to be true.

But that’s not how it works. No matter how loud her heart is yelling at her to just let go, her head is louder. It’s always louder.

“ Roger, what are you doing ? “ She asks again, gently pulling his hands off of her and turning around to properly face him.

“ Life is moving at a pretty rapid speed right now and I don’t want to deny myself the simple pleasures of life. “

“ I’m not a simple pleasure, Roger. I’m not. “

It hurts to hear him say that. Maybe it’s not his intention but it sounds so casual so meaningless. Like that’s all she is. Something he takes because he can. Like his other fleeting companions.

And she admires those girls, she really does. Because how can they go on after this ? After having a taste of what it feels like the be loved by him. To be good enough even if it’s just for a night.

“ No I know you’re not. “

“ Do you ? “

“ Yes. Look, I just — just thought. I don’t know okay ? I just know that something clicked. Like a fucking switch went off when I saw you dancing there. And it feels like doing all this and not seeing you after the lights go off and the crowd disappears seems — pretty damn awful. Lonely. “

“ Oh so you’re lonely, is that it ? “

“ No, no I — fuck (Y/N) you know I’m not good at this stuff. “

“ Well start trying ! “ that moment, when times stoped, that one is over now. And it all seems to move twice as fast. (Y/N) has never before raised her voice at him. It feels strange. Not very good. But there’s a point that you don’t cross and this is it.

“ I know I’m not good enough for you Roger. I know that all I’ll ever be is your best friend and I’m good with that. I’ve made peace with it. But you can’t just all of a sudden decide to come onto me because what ? You’re lonely ? I’m always gonna be here, Roger but not like this. This is just gonna push me away. I really, really wish things could be like this but I want you to chose me. I want to be a conscious decision you make. Not a shag because you feel alone. That’s not how we work and I deserve more than — “

She doesn’t get to finish the sentence as Roger cuts her off placing his lips on hers. There’s an urgency in his kiss. It feels heavy with words unspoken. Heavy with history. Heavy with a decade of memories and hopes and dreams that have all been leading up to this. To now.

Roger’s hands gently move towards her face, holding it between them. There’s a warmth consuming all of (Y/N)’s body. This feels right. Nothing has ever felt more right, she thinks. But that doesn’t change that fact that she’s terrified. Terrified that this might end up crashing and burning. That is doesn’t hold the same gravity for Roger as it does for her.

“ You are not a distraction. You never were and you never will be. You are a choice I’m making now and tomorrow and the day after that. I’m a guy, okay ? I am a bit daft when it comes to this kind of stuff. I always knew you were special to me but it really took me this long to realize why.

I’m in love with you, (Y/N). I think you’re bloody brilliant and I’m sorry I ever made you doubt that. What’s this nonsense about not being good enough ? You are far better a person than me. Far better than anything I could’ve ever asked for. You make me smile and laugh all the fucking time. You get me back down on the ground when I feel like I’m about to blow off. You make incredible pancakes. You are gorgeous. Fucking hell you twirl around in pieces of paper and other people’s trash and plastic cups and I think it’s the most magnificent thing I’ve ever seen. And I’m in love with you. I’m so in love with you. All of you. Even your shitty taste in music. “

Roger thinks his heart stops for a second as he’s faced with her bright radiant smile. It’s like the sun caught in a person. Like all good things culminated and brought together and hidden in her smile.

“ You’re in love with me ? “

“ You know, it would really help out my ego if you were to say it back. But yeah. Yeah I am. “

“ So, do you love me enough to dance with me to a Cat Stevens song ? “ she asks, biting her lip as a smirk pulls at the corners.

Roger lifts her up from the floor and spins them both around for a moment, making them both erupt into chuckles. “ Say it back you crazy woman “

“ I am in love with you, Roger Taylor “

The opening chords to wild world start playing from the speakers as Roger and (Y/N) begin to sway along to the music.

“ Ah I hate this song “

“ I love that song ! “

“ It’s miserable “

“ Yeah but it’s great to sing along to. “

She’s not wrong. Not really. They sway for a little longer, surrounded by lights and music and confetti and love. He whirls her around under his arm every once in a while, and it’s clumsy and silly but it’s fun. It’s a little magical even.

And as the chorus hits, (Y/N) throws her arms around Roger’s neck and sings along to the song at the top of her lungs. Like nothing matters just them and the music and her smile.

And maybe he even finds himself mouthing along to the words. But he’s not gonna admit that. He’s never gonna admit that.

“ Ooooh baby baby it’s a wiiiiild wooooorld. It’s hard to get by just upon a smile. “

As he looks at her, he thinks it might not even be that hard. If her smile is all he ever gets to see, he’s good with that.

“ I love you, Roger. “

The words come easy. Like something she’s said a hundred times. And she has, only they mean something different now.

“ I love you, (Y/N). “

He doesn’t say I love you too. Because he feels that would lessen the impact. Like something he says back just to say it back. He loves her, that’s the bottom line of it all. The unshakable truth it was all based on.

He loves her.

No need for unnecessary adverbs.

The gentle tunes of a Cat Stevens record softly hull through the almost deserted building of the concert venue. Almost deserted because in the middle of it, is them two and confetti and love.

And love fills the room just like a crowd would.

But it’s different. It’s better. Because even when the crowds leave and the lights go out. When the confetti gets thrown away and the music dies.

They both know, the love will stay.

And it’s enough.

It’s everything.

#ben hardy imagine #roger taylor imagine #borhap imagine #ben!roger x reader #ben!roger imagine #roger taylor x reader #ben hardy x reader #borhap!roger x reader #i dont know what to tag this as #if I'm tagging wrong please excuse my ignorance #and feel free to correct me

81 notes · View notes