#the other 30% is rage btw

[autism-swagger]

Tara headcanons :3

(it's literally just angst. Blame @lionydoorin for making me have Tara thoughts)

She can't stand the smell of cooking meat anymore. It reminds her of Amber.

After Sam left, there wasn't anyone buying groceries on a regular basis. She never starved, but there were many occasions where she went to bed hungry.

She doesn’t remember most of the night her dad left (or even the man himself for that matter). She tried to grab him as he was leaving, but he shoved her off. She slammed her head on the corner of the wall really hard, and ended up with a scar on her forehead, chronic psychosomatic migraines, and tinnitus.

She'll avoid going to the hospital unless she absolutely has to. Not only does it reminds her of being attacked, she was also a really sick kid, and she spent a lot of her childhood hospitalized. Even just going to the doctor stresses her out.

She's like. 70% stress and anxiety at any given moment. Seriously somebody get this girl some SSRIs before she has a heart attack.

Her leg and hand have permanent nerve damage, and her entire left arm is kind of fucked up after 6. She has a semi-permanent arm brace, a cane for her leg, and a whole lot of chronic pain.

Christina had a revolving door of boyfriends, and would bring them home sometimes. They were almost always awful to Tara.

She really misses Amber sometimes. She never tells anyone.

[snailfen]

whoever designed utopia shelter is my personal life nemesis now

[gatheryepens]

…

[noellefan101]

Offline to Online

Summary: your boyfriend is a streamer, a popular one at that. this is a fic about: how their chat find out that you are dating, how they treat you off-stream and on-stream/do they treat you differently

Warnings: swearing, mentioning of death threats and killing(Scaramouche), streamer reader(Scaramouche), slight ooc, if there is anything else then pls tell me

Characters: Xiao, Childe, Venti, Scaramouche, Aether

Note: I am trying my best ok, and I'm kinda new to Tumblr, so if it isn't to your liking then leave, please./I´m sorry if you can´t understand what I´m writing, bc neither can I/. btw this is later than I originally intended bc it got deleted when I was almost DONE, like seriously. so I have like no motivation left now, yay :(

Xiao

How Chat Found Out: You two were roommates, or that´s what his chat thought anyways. Because you two lived together that was what you told them and most believed that so you thought it was fine/Xiao is shy and lied about you two dating when they asked, and then you just lied too cus you are the best(I mean that with my whole heart).

but one day when you were out with some of your friends, and Xiao was streaming at home with Zhongli(in this story Xiao´s adoptive father) some girl suddenly came up to you and started yelling at you because apparently you took her "boyfriend" away, you and your friends got confused and just let her be after, she had yelled at you for about 2 min. a little later you called Xiao and explained what happened. and after Xiao told you that Zhongli got asked about your relationship while he was gone to get some food, and he forgot that you were keeping it a secret and even showed some photos of you kissing. when you got home/to a guilty Zhongli and Xiao trying his best to comfort him/you both forgave him and then properly announced it the next day, so you don´t have to worry about anyone finding you out. . . because they already know.

On-Stream: he is very shy so its mostly something like your beside him, in the background or sometimes sitting in his lap. he doesn´t pay that much attention to you but only because he thinks it's embarrassing and that stuff. he will also become a tomato if you kiss him on-stream, even though he will despise you for an hour or so its worth it.

Off-Stream: he becomes less shy and pays more attention to you, he also blushes more at your closeness because he doesn´t feel like he has to hold back his emotions. why? well, he´s with you the most wonderful y/n in the whole world. so yeah he behaves differently when you two are alone, and not with hundreds of people watching you.

he loves you, but he´s not always good at showing it.

Childe

How Chat Found Out: honestly I think would just tell them I they asked, but weirdly no one did. maybe it was because they didn´t want to interfere, and thought it was inappropriate. or they didn´t want any of the lovesick fans ruining your relationship. but either way, there was definitely someone else in the house, because they could sometimes hear someone talking in another room, and sometimes post and pans, I guess they just didn´t say anything about it.

but then one of his friends brought up how you were doing because you were sick the last time they talked to him. and he said you were doing better and then the chat flipped out with messages like "Who the f**k is y/n", "are you dating that y/n person", bratty fan girls raging because how dare him and so on. he then talked about you for the next 30 min, and the other person in the call almost fell asleep by how much he talked, so the chat now knows a lot about you. . . maybe a little too much.

On-Stream: he talks a lot, he always does, but now there are more topics about you when he talks all day. example: what you ate today, a pretty outfit you wore this week, some new accessories he got you today, and yadda yadda. he also has you sit on his lap or beside him in your own chair. and ofc he kisses you at least once every stream.

Off-Stream: I would say that he´s not much different, but maybe a little, for example: lets you talk more and now listens more than he talks, kisses you more and is always touching you(not in a sexual way).

he loves you more than anything and is not afraid to show it.

Venti

How Chat Found Out: honestly I think they already knew since he does "drunk" streams-streams with alcohol-and there was always someone beside him: you. you decided you would be bedside him for his safety and to make sure he doesn´t do anything too dumb. you were out of frame, so they couldn´t really see you, but Venti sometimes talked to you so they knew what you sounded like, and saw your hands once or twice. and they adored you, and by the way he talked about you and looked at you he did too. So naturally they thought that you were dating/or related by blood but he was too lovestruck when he looked at you.

but yeah one stream he maybe drank a little too much, and he maybe began talking to you while forgetting that he was live and called you some rather. . . sweet names and then passed out, so you carried him out of his room to make him sleep a bit. when you suddenly remembered that you forgot to turn off the stream and you didn´t even turn off the camera. meanwhile, the chat was freaking out because you were so freaking pretty. so you went in and turned the stream off.

On-Stream: you now sat a little closer and people could see at least half your body, you also there in more streams and not just those containing alcohol. you two didn't give that much affection but you sometimes kissed him here and there.

Off-Stream: besides being closer and kissing more often then I don´t think there are any other differences in behavior other than ofc you spend more time together and not just beside each other.

he loves you a lot and also loves to show it.

Scaramouche

How Chat Found Out: well basically he got into an argument with Childe typical of him. you were in a collab with them and playing a multi-player game when they started arguing over something/you didn´t know what bc you tried to ignore them, so you didn´t get a headache/and it got so heated you had to mute them so you and your viewers didn´t hear all their screaming and send a message to Scara to tell you when they were done. Therefore you didn´t hear Scara yell "Well at least I'm not single" (I forgot to say that here Childe is single in this part, oh well) and everybody was shocked, they thought that Childe would be the one to get a partner first. so while Scara and Childe were still arguing, the viewers started discussing who would want to date were dating him, they didn´t find anybody though.

a few days later they finally asked him instead of speculating about it, and he/with a straight face/"Oh. . . me and y/n are dating, you didn´t know?" and let's just say that chat flipped out even more because wtf you dating HIM of all people

On-Stream: he doesn´t show any affection like at all, the only thing is you forcing him to let you sit in his lap. but no kissing, sweet talk or anything like that, nope just the same grumpy Scaramouche. he got a little annoyed when you kissed him once while he played with some friends but forgave you. Oh, and you also collab more with each other.

Off-Stream: he is definitely a lot nicer, and is kinda soft for you/but only for you/. And he doesn’t look like he wants to k!ll someone all the time or sending death threats to anybody, so at least that's one thing going for ya.

he loves you, no matter if you annoy him from time to time.

Aether

How Chat Found Out: he was in a collab with a few people (Lumine, Venti, Xiao...), and Lumine wanted to annoy Aether, it´s a sibling thing. and therefore she brought up a lot of... not the best topics to talk about on stream, and she also brought up the fact that someone is living with him/you/and how that person is just sooo sweet and pretty/handsome. (because of course she´s been over and already knows that you two are dating) so she teased him by telling him about how he should totally date you, to try and get him to reveal it to the viewers. yes she could have just told them, but this was more fun for her.

he knew what she was doing but didn´t give in until Venti (actual best annoying b!tch) started to do it too, which Lumine loved Aether... not so much. so he eventually gave in and told them that, yes he was dating someone, Xiao then asked who and Lumine made him admit that it was you/the person he`s currently living with/and chat wanted ANSWERS so they asked him stuff like, who were you, where did you meet, when did you meet, how do you look, can we see this y/n, and so on. he answered the best he could while venti and Xiao were also asking questions. he eventually called you in and asked if it was ok for people to see you, and you said yes. (you cannot say no, understand) so you showed your face and you trended on teyvats twitter.

On-Stream: he definitely has you around him almost all the time, like sitting on his lap, beside him, or having you do something of your own in the background, you're properly also there if he does any cooking streams, vlogs or hangouts.

Off-Stream: he´s still has you around him, but now you´re a lot closer. that´s his way to show more love freely instead of keeping it down. because there's tons of people looking at you all the time, and sometimes he doesn´t want to share you.

he loves you very much, and wants you to be there with him at all time.

Masterlist

You are welcome to reblog and like any of my posts, but you CAN NOT translate, copy or hate on anybody for liking my posts

[crumblinggothicarchitecture]

I was so impressed with your toe-to-toe comment on the French philosophy anon. So happy to have found you, omg! I heard Taylor called her ttpd set as the "female rage musical." I take it she knows the impact of the song Labour by Paris Paloma which has been dubbed as the female rage anthem. So naturally, here is the 34 year old culture vulture, can't-have-any-ideas-of-her-own that is Taylor Swift hopping there wanting to get the attention away from it when that song is quite phenomenal. One song compared to her 31 diss tracks that's nothing to me, at least, but the excessive sentimentality of an infantile woman in her 30s. It's gross the confessions she's put on that album. And even her own fans are comparing her to Olivia Rodrigo. That's she's copying everything about her - song, outfits, the "female rage" theme just to mock her. Somehow, Swift thinks it would do her a world of good. People are catching on to her antics which are absolutely disgusting, btw. I'm hoping one day you write about all these completely ridiculous gross things she's done using her own lyrics. You know what I mean? I hope someone write about her nasty lyrics and that it completely destroys her.

Thank you ha, I'm glad you found something meaningful in that post. I will not lie, that Anon actually hurt my feelings for a second (I got over it by writing my response), but I was upset at being so misunderstood. I'm not out here levying unreasonable criticism at Taylor Swift. All will be based on reality, or interpretation of her own lyrics.  I’m defs out to get her though- in the most legitimate way possible- and maybe someday I will publish for real on her. I have a couple of criticisms that I will not be putting on my blog- because I want to say it on a bigger platform. : )  

I do see a lot of harmful things in her music that I have been resisting the urge to write about for YEARS! Even back in 2009, listening to "Love Story" I remember thinking to myself, oh this is nothing like what Shakespeare meant and it's also a weird appeal to the patriarchy through the "I talked to your Dad/ Go Pick out a white dress." It's so clear that she's just reduplicating mainstream attitudes on romantic relationships by using Christian Conservative social standards of needing the father's permission to ask the girl's hand in marriage. She obviously wanted to attract the Christian- Conservative fan- base with that song, and that's exactly what happened. Her marketing is tied to the phrases she places inside her songs in a way that is extremely calculating. She, Afterall, learned from the best at attracting mainstream, Christian, conservative fans, Toby Keith (hate that fascist, white nationalist freak). (WHoops, that was mean- oh well, he’s dead anyway). (and if he wanted me to be nice- he shouldn't have been a fascist).  

It's so obvious, and I really figured everyone else was also aware of the ways in which Swift interpolates patriarchal standards in her music. I have many more examples- I could write a whole essay on it.  

Apparently, everyone thought she was a feminist? Bro, she became a "feminist" if only to evade criticism and capitalize on mainstream pop-feminist trends. She's not a real feminist. Her use of “feminism” to evade critique ties directly into her other marketing strategy of telling the world “I’m so innocent and young” all the time. 

Also, her co-opting of the phrase Female Rage has made me angry, exceptionally angry. I saw that she's trying to trademark the phrase. I am incensed. I will post about it soon. 

I wish Swift would stop co-opting legitimate terms and pulling only the most shallow- self-centered conception of the term out to use in her mediocre music. She’s like if Pinterest was a person- and I’m tired of it.  

Paris Paloma’s “Labour” is amazing, because guess what- it actually speaks about the experience of women under patriarchal standards in a way that respects the seriousness of the topic. I absolutely believe that Swift saw how viral that song went and decided she needed to cash in on that too.  

And she is totally copying Olivia Rodrigo. Can you imagine being 34 and trying to act 20? I would die of embarrassment. But it's so obvious that it's getting weird.

I have much more to say on this topic- sincerely I could write a book on the conceptual point of “Female Rage” in media. I have thousands of examples, and I’ve been studying this stuff for years. I will, however, ramble on no longer. Thank you for your kind words- and I hope you enjoy my upcoming writings.

[fire-emblem-drabbles]

Pairing: Karlach x durge reader, Gortash x durge reader

Prompt: Some thoughts I had when I brought my dark urge and romanced Karlach to face Gortash.

Description: Having just survived a divine revelation from daddy dearest Bhaal and making your way to Wyrm's Rock, you're a little shaken but ready to face whatever Gortash may throw at you. You wanted to see Karlach have her revenge as sure as it was your own. Yet... something familiar and strange stirs within your blackened heart when you look at Gortash. And most frighteningly, he looks to you the same.

Rating: sfw

Word Count: 2678 3037

Notes: Happy 4:30 am I got off work and like a man possessed wrote this. It's not edited (yet) but if I don't post this and get validation I may just fucking die so. Have this terrible little brain baby! I just think it would be so tastey. No one wins here btw!

oh this is huge spoilers for dark urge/act 3 btw! I took some liberties but it's my fanfiction and I can if I want to

Edited: 10/1/23 (read it and there was a lot of mistakes lol)

Curiosity has guided you far, in this adventure. It’s helped you find the pieces of your past life, both those that proved to be a boon and that which you would have rather left buried. You’ve repressed your dark urges, fought them, proved to yourself and your allies, and especially your lover, that you’re better than that. Better than the person you once were. Better than what your father would have you be.

And it’s never been more clear than when you stand before Gortash now. You can feel Karlach before you, bristling at seeing his face. The way Wyll panics at seeing his father, obviously not himself. Gale, too, is is all wound up-- the emotions held in this room are fit to burst, and you and Gortash are the center of it.

You felt a flicker of it before, when seeing his face in the Ilithid colony beneath Moonrise. There was familiarity there; not the burning hatred that seized your heart when you looked at Orin, nor the cool indifference you felt upon taking Kethric’s life but something far different. The closet thing to normal you felt from your previous life. It scared you more than the murder, than the blood on your hands and the bile burning the back of your tongue.

He felt like home. A feeling you thought only Karlach could bring about you, of calm and happiness acceptance and all things nice and lovely that father would surely disapprove of. And when he speaks, when his disgusting honeyed voice and hardened gazes softens upon landing to you, when “My favorite assassin,” leaves his silvered tongue, you can see whispers of the past before you.

A part of it, mind, you might have preferred to keep lost. It comes in flashes and fuzzy moments, in warm feelings and beating heart. Your hand, held in his; your lips lost together. Bodies tangled and thoughts lost... You linger in those memories a moment, remembering how right it all felt. And thinking, how funny, even back then you were pulling away from father's puppet strings.

As you come back to the present, you're left stunned silent a moment, as his words flow in one ear and out of the other. This is Gortash-- the man who sold Karlach to the Arch Devil Zariel, who abducted Wyll’s father and whose manipulating the cult of the absolute and all the people of Baldur’s gate all at once-- and he’s the man who helped you learn what love is.

It's also so sickeningly familiar, the way your heartbeat picks up upon meeting his gaze. How he reserves an easy smile just for you, even if you’ve seen it hundreds of times. You have to close your eyes, to reach out and take Karlach’s hand despite how hot she’s grown. It's almost too much for you, to remember how happy you were with Gortash when you've been fighting for so long to find a way to keep being happy with Karlach.

“Solider?” Even through her own anger, her own disgust and sorrow and rage and madness, Karlach pauses, (your whole party does, in fact) in seeing the familiarity between the two of you. Seeing the effect Gortash has on you, their dauntless leader, their dear friend. If only they knew who they were calling their ally now...

“Holy shit,” Is all you can manage out in the moment. So many thoughts, little forgotten memories blink past your eyes. Karlach squeezes your hand, and you squeeze back just to let her know you’re still there.

“I didn’t think I’d have quite that strong of an effect on you,” he chuckles and you hate how you can tell it’s from genuine affection, and not twisted glee. He truly is glad to see you-- and why shouldn’t he be? It can't have been that long ago that the two of you were lovers.

“Don’t flatter yourself,” You have to steel yourself in front of him, in front of your friends. But how can you deny it? Things have always been this way between the two of you. Delicate and strange and so wrong as to feel right.

“It’s nice to see you haven’t changed.” That charming smile, turned business as he turns to face your party whole. “I was worried, after Orin did you in. But I should have known you would return, find your way back to me.” He’s all confidence as he speaks, and you notice its mostly to you. It’s almost as if the room isn’t filled with courtesans, as if your party isn’t there to back you up. Like you aren’t clutching to Karlach like a lifeline.

“You’ll… have to fill in the finer details.” You admit softly, frown fitting your face. “I’ve reclaimed bits and pieces of my former memory but I’m afraid much of my former…” You hesitate as you consider who you were before all this “...life is beyond me.” You decide to remain as passe as possible. But perhaps he already knows you remember. Actually, your certain he does-- there’s a look of mischief twinkling in his eyes that surely only you can see. But cruelty is in his nature, as begets the chosen of Bane. You’re lucky, then, that for you, and only you, his urge can be diminished into something a little more charming.

“Why, without you this cult would be nothing! Well, without us.” He laughs again and you can feel your companions eyes upon you. “You and I came up with this whole plan-- to steal the crown of Karsus, overpower the elder brain, and use its powers to create a loyal army of cultists… if Orin hadn’t overthrown you, things wouldn’t be near a mess as they are now.” He rolls his eyes dramatically, a sigh fitting past his lips. “That sister of yours is quite the handful, and far less careful about controlling her urges. Why, with you back, and with Kethric’s nether stone no less, I dare say we have a chance to get things back in line again.”

“_____, what is he talking about? Why is he talking like he knows you?” Karlach’s voice tears through your thoughts, just as you feel her warm hand leave yours, and your party's gaze all land on you.

“Oh Karlach, dear sweet Karlach…” Gortash speaks again. “Are you certain you want to hear that?” Your breath hitches as he speaks. You were hoping Gortash would have more decorum than to admit what the two of you once hand. Perhaps its obvious to him how you feel about Karlach now. Maybe you looked at him the same way, once; maybe you are now.

Perhaps then, it's jealously that causes him to speak. You can't imagine how he must feel, seeing someone he got rid of so long ago stroll up with the person he thought was taken from him. Yes, now that you think about it, that would make him quite mad...

“You shut the fuck up, Gortash!” Karlach raises her voice before you even think to speak; Gortash merely smirks, speaks again with mockery lacing his tone.

“Indeed, _____, why don’t you enlighten your friends, your lover, about your past self?” Your name spoken from his lips was so, so nice. It made you ache in a sickeningly familiar way. And so too, was the venom in his when he spoke of your lover. Of Karlach…

“They know,” You manage to croak out. “With the tadpole they saw… saw the vision my father sent to me.” One that you had gotten hardly an hour before coming here, even. That you were a Bhaalspawn, of your dearest fathers own flesh. That you were his chosen before Orin struck you down. You knew that wasn't what he met. You were desperate to hide this-- like when your urge first overcame you, when that poor girl Alfira's blood stained your hands and camp...

“Then surely, you remember, about us?” Daring as ever, Gortash moves forward, to cup your chin tenderly with his gauntlet that held his nether stone.

How easy it would be, to twist the arm that dared hold you, to rip that precious nether stone from the sorry hand that dared touch your hallowed flesh.

“Us? What is he talking about?” You could hear the desperation in Karlach’s tone, even if you couldn’t see her. Your eyes were locked with Gortash’s, lost in them really. “_____, why are you letting him touch you?” Even from here, you could feel her heat. She was angry, so angry that he dare touch you. But scared, too. Scared that you weren't even trying to stop him.

You tear away from Gortash’s intense gaze, gently remove his hand from your person and ignore your urge. And so to, ignore the urge to reach out for Gortash in return. So many parts of yourself you have to deny, it was getting hard to know what’s really you…

“Fine. Fine!” You raise your own voice, uncaring of the puppets in the room. You turn to Karlach, to the only reason you’ve gotten this far. “You deserve to know anyways.” Still, you heave a sigh, for what is a heavier burden than the truth? “Yes, before Orin betrayed me, I was the chosen of Bhaal. But beyond that…” Even still, as the truth lingers on your lips, tingles on the tip of your tongue, you hesitate as you meet Karlach’s gaze-- as you filter to Gale and Wyll as well.

Your breath dies a moment as you see how worried they are for you. You’re scarcely worth such kindness, moreso from such good people as them. “Gortash and I were… close. Far closer than any plan may have merited. One might have even called it love, if you believe such evil capable of it.” You admit, looking to the floor. You wouldn’t be able to take the look of betrayal in their faces, nor the grin Gortash surely wore.

“I…” You can feel the way the anger leaves Karlach. Even if she didn’t want to show it you can feel through that dammed tadpole how numb she suddenly feels. “Right. You guys finish” She gestures vaguely to you, to Gortash “whatever the hell this is. I gotta go.” You don’t even have the heart to stop her. Don’t have the courage to watch her retreating form.

“Karlach, hold on!” Gale is quick to follow. You’d have to thank him for that. For doing what you should be doing. You can feel Wyll’s hesitation. But he stays. You’d have to thank him too. You don’t want to be alone (as much as the word means in a room fool of likely tadpoled individuals like yourself) with Gortash right now. Even if Wyll is just staying for his own father.

“There she goes.” Gortash is brazen now, wrapping an arm around your shoulder and pulling you in to his chest. You don’t know if it’s right to be this close to him, to hug him like you so desperately want to. “I do miss our time together. We could be still be together, work together. It would be my honor to restore you to your former glory-- to help you regain your title as Bhaal’s chosen once more.” The idea fills you with twisted glee. You recall, with errie smile, how Gortash was once wrapped around your little finger. How easy it could be to twist him to your designs, and kill him when it suited you most. How it would please father, how it would only make you stronger, to get such a distraction out of your life.

“That’s not who I am anymore.” You say with much force, creating some distance between you and Gortash. You're not sure if its about the two of you being together, or you being Bhaal's chosen. Still, he does not falter. He gets down on one knee before you, looking up at you with adoration. You hate it. You love it. It’s disgusting and beautiful and you know this isn’t the first time he’s been on his knees for you. Play your cards right, it may not even be his last.

“Even so, I can see how much your heart cries out for revenge. You mean to kill Orin, and as it happens I want her dead as well.” Again, beautiful hands, coveted nether stone, circle around your own. “We could rule together. Even your little… friends.” This was your plan, after all. Your genius that got this terrible cult going.

“Just what are you proposing?” You can’t help but squeeze his hands. Can’t deny the beat of your heart-- for the evil within must hear this promise of power. Coming from a man you may even still hold dear a part so strong it can't look away.

“We reforge our alliance. Bring our empire to fruition. My steel watch won’t harm you, so long as you kill Orin and bring her nether stone back.”

“_____…” Wyll’s voice surprises you. For a moment, it really was you and Gortash, and the empire you stood to create. “I know this must be a hard decision for you. Gortash seems to know you better than you do yourself this moment. But we need to consider all our options.” He reminds you. Pushing you towards neither extremes at this moment. A level head when yours was, as always, a shambling mess. "Remember how far we've come. How far you've come."

“That’s not a decision I can make right now.” You admit, hastily pulling away from Gortash. His face falters a little as he rises to his feet. “There’s a lot I need to consider.” When he stands tall again, looking to you, that familiar cocky grin is again in place.

“I understand. You always make the right choice in the end. But, just to prove my loyalty,” That word stings just a little. You hadn’t proved loyal to most anyone who trusted you, at least in this particular moment. “I’ll share this with you; an impostor is at your camp, right now.” You frown again as you look to him.

“Orin…” You grit your teeth as you consider your sister, how any one of the people you had come to trust with your life could be the backstabber herself.

“So if I were you, I’d act quick.” He smiles at you but you see how it doesn’t meet his eyes. “So, my dear, why don’t you stay for my coronation?” He laughs softly as he turns towards Duke Ravengard, who seems more statue than man at this moment.

You do just that, watch with wary gaze and heavy heart as Enver Gortash is ordained ‘Archduke Gortash’. Many tough decisions lie ahead of you and you couldn’t will yourself to think on a single one of them as you watched Gortash rise with a new fervor. He seeks your gaze, your approval, as the room erupts with applause. But it’s high time you left, to figure out what to do next.

You climb down the barren halls of Wyrm’s Rock with Wyll, unsure what to say or do next. You feel like you’ve had enough adventure and learning of your old life for once day, but of course Gortash gave you fear to return to your own camp as well…

“Are you alright?” Wyll stops you as you slowly walk towards the south span of Wyrm’s rock, placing a gentle hand on your shoulder. You jump at his touch, only to sigh and relax when you realize it's just him.

“No not really, that was a lot for me.” You admit with a shaky laugh.

“I… were you truly involved with Gortash before… well, before?” He frowns, the look on his face hard to read.

“I… yes. I was.” It would be no use to lie.

“And now?” He asks, unexpectedly. “What now?”

“What now indeed.” You sigh and lean into him. Wyll supports your weight with a good natured hug. “I love Karlach, Wyll. I love her so much. But… old feelings linger in my twisted mind. Gortash was…” You shake your head. How can you explain that who you were, who you use to be… Gortash was the only person that you respected? That seemed to understand you, to meet you at your level? Even now as you thought of it, more cursed thoughts of your time together came back to you. It hurt, mentally and physically.

“I can’t say I understand, friend, but I know yours is a troubled past.” He pulls back from you, smile fitting his handsome face. “I think it would be best for us to head back to camp for the day.” He guides you that way, and you decide to follow his judgment.

“I just… hope that Karlach is okay. Had I known, I…” You shake your head. How could you have known? In a past life, you were lovers with the very man that ruined her life. The man that made it difficult for you two to even start a relationship to begin with.

“Rest, friend. You can’t of helped that.” You nod. He was right. But that still left you in the middle of some ridiculous love triangle…

You just have to decide, dearest, darkest urge, who is most important to you; Enver Gortash, Bane’s Chosen, tyrant of Baldur’s Gate and the matching mind to your own criminal plot to rule it all… or Karlach Cliffgate, the woman he ruined in the pursuit of his own power, and the one you promised to help end him.

Either way, there would be betrayal. Heartbreak. And fighting, for sure.

You could, of course, kill them both. That would solve so many problems for you! Feed your urge, please your father, and remove any obstacle that would distract from your goal. Wouldn’t it be delicious, to drink in their desire, thinking they’ve won your favor-- only for you to break that precious trust as their bodies twist under your blade…

This all of course assuming you could fight off your dark urge still... Rest would not come easy tonight, if at all. But it wouldn't be the first time. Come what may, you would forge your path forward.

[naraven]

Marlboro and a Can of Arizona Ice Tea

hi so. this came to me in a vision

this is all platonic/familial btw! reader can be read as around 22-23 ish and haitham is in his late 20s, early 30s and sometimes people don't really like that kind of age gap plus i think alhaitham as a tired dad figure is way funnier somehow

this is pretty ooc!! not in the way he talks but like i lwk don't think he would act like this LOL to me these two are the family ever

tw / alcohol but its brief in the beginning, addiction to nicotine and specifically smoking, talk about reader gaining weight as a symptom of withdrawal, and general symptoms of addiction that might be triggering so please be wary!

wc / 2.1k

also this sounds really obvious but i don't condone smoking!!! i believe anyone and everyone is capable of quitting and living the best life they can without nicotine.

You need help.

Serious help? Maybe not at this point, but you can certainly see yourself in some deep shit pretty soon.

And it all started when you graduated.

Your brand new degree was fresh and crisp. You celebrate with all your friends, glad that you all somehow survived the four years up to that point. You screamed your head off when you partied later that night, alcohol basically coating your entire insides. Your liver would probably murder you before dying.

That was when you took your first cigarette.

Nowadays, it seemed that vapes and e-cigs were all the rage. You could honestly give less than half a shit. And really, you don't even remember who offered it to you. The white stick somehow ended up between your fingers and an outstretched hand with a lighter lit it up for you.

You took a drag, and coughed up violently. It tasted like filthy waste, smoke clouding your throat and building up in your lungs. Clouds of gray puffed out of your mouth with each heavy heave.

Somehow, you ended up burning through the entire stick. After the first initial puff, you went in for another because that was just embarrassing. Soon enough, the yellow end was all that remained in your hand. It felt almost electrifying, fueled by adrenaline and nicotine running through your body. Basically, you felt high on life.

Not wanting to ruin the fun with a fire, you escaped to a less crowded area and found an ashtray filled with other finished cigarettes. Your own joined in the dozens of yellow ends sticking up into the air. 

And then after graduation, of course, came moving out. Luckily you had planned ahead during your finals week while procrastinating and found the perfect place to live: a semi-decent two room apartment with affordable rent. Basically, the best place for a soon to be master's student. Undergraduate dorming would no longer be viable for you.

Waitering part time has left you with a pretty good amount of money, too. It would, for now, be able to support your new apartment.

So begins the current day you. Tired, stressed, and chronic smoker.

Ever since that party, you went out and bought a pack of Marlboro from the liquor shop that was about a block away from your apartment. It was tiny and smelled too strongly of gasoline, but they had Marlboro and Arizona Ice Tea. That alone was a good enough excuse to visit every free weekend you had. Which just so happened to be every weekend.

You paid in cash, with the tips that you would get at the end of every week. You would just leave your wallet at home, fish out $15 in cash, and leave with your phone and keys. The bare necessities, because you were semi-scared of being robbed for some reason. 

You swear the cashier at the liquor store has something against you. Every time you hand him the bills in your pocket you swear he's glaring at you.

It's whatever. You get your tea and cigs, he gets your money. Simple as that. 

You tip him every once in a while. You bring an extra dollar to the usual $13.86 you pay and slip the single dollar into the small glass case labeled "tips: thank you for the generosity!"

You never speak to the cashier, either. You only started talking to him because the cigarettes were behind him. The first time he spoke was when he scanned your items silently as the scanner beeped, said "13.86," and didn't even say have a good day. But you know what, good for him. Working with tough customers, you can understand some of the stuff he goes through. 

After that he never speaks to you again. He gets used to seeing you walk in and grab a can of Arizona tea from the fridge. He already has a pack of Marlboro on the counter by the time you're there.

And so life went on. Life went on until 6 months later, when on a particular Saturday evening you speak up.

"Can I have another pack?"

The cashier's face remains the same. He turns to his left and reaches for another pack of Marlboro cigarettes.

"26.73."

You brought your wallet for today. You were too lazy to calculate how much you needed to bring. Future master's degree student, everyone. 

You dig out a 10 and 20 dollar bill. You take the two packs into your hand while he still counts your change.

"You know smoking kills, right?"

You almost jump at the sound of his voice. He never, ever spoke to you. His words also, oddly enough, offended you.

"You work here, I'm giving you more money. Do you say that to everyone who buys a pack from here?"

You raise a brow as he hands you your change. He starts talking again when you open the small pack.

"Today's the only day I work here. You're also the only regular I see."

"Damn, part time only on a single day? Your day job must be nice."

You curse under your breath when you realize your lighter ran out of fuel. You sheepishly look up at the cashier who simply sighs, already hitting the numbers on the cash register.

"3.63.”

~~~

About a month after that, you started a small conversation.

"I've decided that I'm going to reform. I'm buying a vape!"

You refrain from laughing at the grimace on the cashier's face. His teal-amber eyes scrutinize you and he remains speechless.

"Oh, c'mon. I heard these are like a healthier alternative."

You inspect the pod as the cashier pulls out a pamphlet from underneath the counter. As you read through it, he explains what it is.

"A whole 20 pack of cigarettes has the same amount of nicotine in a single vape pen. Where did you even get your information from?"

You look at the infographic carefully, not hearing his words very clearly.

"No shit? I had no clue. Well then, I'll see how this peach flavored pen tastes, otherwise it's back to the classic for me!"

“Not so fast. Here.”

Before you can leave, he stops you in your tracks. The cashier grabs something opposite of his side of the counter.

“On the house. Slow to melt candy is another way smokers quit.”

A wrapped piece of candy is placed in your palm. You unwrap it and suddenly you feel like a child again. Sweet sugar coats your mouth instead of smoke, and you can kind of get behind this.

“No shit? I’ll keep that in mind.”

~~~

A month later, he's the one that talks first.

"On the house."

He hands you a blue package. Upon reading the big white letters, you see it's a box of nicotine patches.

"Are you… serious?"

You mutter incredulously. There's no way he was being for real right now. Yeah, sure, the nicotine was getting pretty rough by now, but there’s no way you look that bad. Right?

"I'm not taking this. Have it back."

He blinks, staring at the box in your hands. You glare when he does nothing to try and grab it.

"If you're worried about paying for it, I already paid for it. Take it."

The fucking audacity of this guy… You instead slam the box on the counter, since he wasn't willing to take it back from you himself. You could quit anytime, you didn’t need his help in this.

"I said I don't fucking want it."

You leave the store. In your rage, you don't even realize that you left with only your tea in hand, Marlboro left on the counter along with the nicotine patches you very violently placed down.

And so you suffer throughout the week. The itch for a hit of nicotine is strong, but you don't have the time to go out and buy one. Final exams had you studying for hours at a time without much time for anything else. And when you go out to eat dinner with a couple friends to chill before final exams really start going, you struggle to think straight and accidentally snap at a friend. You immediately regret it and apologize but you are clearly not doing ok.

You avoid going to the liquor store too. Partially because of the one time someone offered you help you pushed them away and it felt awkward just walking back like nothing happened and partially because, of course, of exams.

You can't sleep, and that barely helps with your appetite. Never in your life had you ever felt so hungry all the time. When you stare at yourself in the mirror, you very much look heavier and unhealthier than ever.

Exams pass. You can't say you're very confident that you passed any of them.

So you trudge your way back to the usual place for a smoke. You cough the entire way there, almost gagging a couple times before finally arriving.

Despite the distance being the same, the walk there felt so much longer. You struggle to breath at a normal rate and the only thought in your mind is getting a lit cigarette in your mouth.

You can feel the familiar green-red eyes on your back. When you open the fridge to the Arizona tea do you finally turn to stare back at him. 

Neither of you say anything. When you get there, the usual pack waiting for you is gone.

"Please just take this."

Instead, the blue box of nicotine patches is there. Replacing the usual gold and white box is instead something that you know you should have used long ago.

"...Why do you care so much anyway?"

Your voice is hoarse, and you let out a particularly nasty cough. You wince when your throat burns at the surplus amount of coughing you've been doing.

"Because you look about the same age as my students, if not younger. Someone as young as you shouldn't be suffering from this."

He crosses his arms. You open the blue box and pull out a patch that looks like a sticker. You like stickers.

"For now, peel one off and put it on your bicep. It'll last for about 24 hours. I'll send a couple links about what you can do afterwards. There will be side effects. Hand me your phone."

In a daze, you slide your phone out of your back pocket and place it on his outstretched palm.

"This is a timer. You reset it everytime you relapse." The cashier shows you the app he laid out on your phone. Oddly enough, you feel rather comforted knowing he's doing all this.

"You are the only person who can reset it. If you relapse and decide not to restart the timer, no one will know. The only person holding you accountable is yourself. I will not scold you for relapsing. It is very difficult to overcome any kind of addiction." He places the phone back into your hand and slides the blue box of patches towards you.

Wow, you weren't even sure what to say back to that. So instead you stare at the dual colored eyes of the familiar cashier.

"... Y'know, for a liquor store cashier you care a lot about your customers. I'll rate you 5 stars on Yelp. 'The kind cashier sabotaged his own business for a pitiful customer like me.'"

He looks concerned, brows furrowing. You wonder if you said anything to offend him.

"I don't care about this place. In fact, if it shuts down then it's all the better for me."

You blink.

"Huh?"

"I'm only working here because I owed the manager of the store a favor. If this place closes down I can focus more on my job and get a promotion sooner."

A moment passes before you let huff out a laugh.

"No shit? Whatever you say."

You realize you don't know this man's name. You've known each other for almost a year and you never bothered to learn his name.

Wow, it's crazy to think that you moved into your apartment a year ago. The complex felt more homely, and you could relax at home without it feeling weird. You felt a sense of belonging in this tiny cramped liquor store. You walked to and from this place so often it was basically a second home.

"Just stay safe and healthy. That's all that you can do for me at the moment." 

His voice was so… warm. You try not to cry as you feel the weight of his tone.

"Right, whatever you say. Also, I never got your name, cashier guy. Care to tell me who my nic addiction savior is?"

Maybe you joked about your situation a bit too early. But the cashier only places the blue box into your hands, wrapping his hands around yours to curl over it.

"Call me Alhaitham. Just trying to help."

[kingmagnificoofrosas]

Hi. So I’ve been enjoying your blog for a few days now and I just want to say ‘thank you’ for giving King Magnifico fans the safe space they deserve. Thank you for giving King Magnifico the safe space he deserves.

I tried to find other blogs that defend him the way you do but I couldn’t. I agree with you 100% on Magnifico and honestly think he was the only good part of the movie.

You’ve inspired me to create an OC of my own to ship with him. I’m remaining anonymous and don’t want to tell you about them because I don’t want to offend you, due to your faith. But I will dedicate the OC side blog to you once it’s open.

Without you, I would’ve felt like a silly 37 yr old caring so much about a Disney character. Especially while I’m going through a hard time. Now I will preserve my endangered mental health by spending time on developing my character and my Magnifico fan blog.

Please keep it up. You’ve given me a Magnifico safe space and have inspired others to celebrate their love of this character.

Oh my goodness!!! *emotional noises*

I'm so immensly moved I'm struggling to find the right words. Thank you doesn't even feel enough! I feel beyond happy and honored that I've managed to help, inspire, motivate and comfort people. That's what I want to do and if I manage to, it fills my heart with so much gratitude and joy!

But really, without you guys, I wouldn't be standing where I'm standing with my blog at this point.

I loved Magnifico from the moment I first saw him on screen and as soon as I understood enough of his story, it was more than clear to me, that I had to not only create a safe space for fans who - just like me - realized that he isn't a villain but also a place where I can fight against the very toxic stance against traumatized people and mental disorders.

And no! Never feel bad or silly for loving something because of your age! Age doesn't matter. I'm in my late 20s and one of my friends is already 30 so 🤷🏻‍♀️ Who's to tell us we cannot love certain things anymore just because we aren't kids/teenagers anymore? People who spread such information aren't better than all those other bullies and they're obviously wrong. You can be a 100 years old and still love plushies and dolls, or Legos, or disney - it's not just for kids!

Also, while I'm more than pleased to see that more and more people start siding with Magnifico and becoming vocal that he's not a villain but a traumatized protagonist, I'm also greatly concerned by people still shaming, ridiculing, belittling and villainizing trauma.

The fact that Disney itself has pushed those toxic stigmas is beyond me! Just like one of my greatest fellow defenders stated : When did bullying a traumatized person into uncontrollable rage become acceptable? When did it become acceptable to villainize traumatized people? Since when does the message "true love breaks every curse" matter no more?

When did people lose so much compassion and became ok with pushing hate and unforgiveness?

Standing up for trauma and defending those people is not justifying wrong actions! It's calling awareness! Compassion and love! It's explaining and drawing a big difference!

There are so many toxic statements I hear people make toward traumatized people and people with mental disorders. And I think it's one of the cruelest, most disgusting and heartless things!

Magnifico has become a symbol for so many and a beacon to rise awareness to trauma and the toxic stance of disney and some people out there.

Btw, Japan has even created a hashtag that celebrates Magnifico. The japanese have been stressing from the start that Magnifico isn't a villain. The japanese amazing! ✨️

So, I thank you for being a part of this incredible supportive, growing defender squad! I'll keep doing my best to fight for what's right and keep this blog growing ✨️

I wish you all the best from the bottom of my heart! ❤️ And again, thank you so very much!

[breastforce]

hey, so like if you want an honest explanation of someone who once went so deep in the paint he wrote a trans!femme craig headcanon entitled 'butch' over the course of an absolutely feral christmas vacation: I liked south park as a dumbass baby because my empathy wasnt finished developing yet and it made me laugh harder than family guy did. You see the same thing in the invader zim fandom, people who liked it as closeted queers with a lot of unexplained rage and cynasism they dont have a word for yet, projecting all their weird feelings onto this incredibly hostile cartoon. as you age you learn to be kind, and end up sorta. retroactively looking at that angry little gay kid you used to be with less cringe and more sympathy. Then you go back and watch some episodes and yeah they're problematic, seem to hate YOU in particular as a jewish gay kid, but because you're a jewish gay kid you feel like you're allowed to laugh at it. and then you wonder what other people online are saying, and get sucked into the weird vortex of other people who are trying to be kind to their shitty confused middle school selves by... refusing to remember what the actual show was.

This is the perspective of someone pushing 30 btw, i have no idea what current 14 y olds get out of it.

Well, asked and answered!

[naamahdarling]

It is very hot in the UK right now! And other places! But especially my UK babes, this is for you.

Please take care in the heat!

Here are some tips that I haven't seen, especially for pets, elders, ED patients, and those on meds. No particular order.

FIRST, PLEASE LEARN THE SIGNS OF HEATSTROKE/HEAT EXHAUSTION. Info for humans. Info for cats. Info for dogs. Focus on memorizing early signs and act THEN, not when it's settled in. As it progresses, the symptoms change, some reverse, please please read up on them.

PANTING IS NOT NORMAL FOR CATS, IF YOUR CAT IS PANTING FROM HEAT IT IS IN IMMEDIATE AND SERIOUS DANGER! CONTACT A VET FOR ADVICE! DON'T FUCK AROUND. They are NOT dogs, they do NOT purge heat through panting! They may pant for a short time after heavy play or exercise but otherwise it is a BAD SIGN. (Don't assume cats are medically similar to dogs in general, please. They are super different.)

BLACK AND DARK COLORED PETS OVERHEAT IN THE SUN. Debate rages on whether the conventional advice against shaving is valid but one thing is true: your dark-furred pets are much more vulnerable to heat. Keep them OUT of the sun as best you can.

SHORT-FACED PET BREEDS ARE VULNERABLE. The impaired breathing is brutal, especially in dogs, is brutal. Watch them!

PREVIOUS HEAT STROKE MAY MAKE YOU MORE VULNERABLE TO IT IN FUTURE. If you have had it, even if it wasn't bad enough to send you to a medic, you may be at elevated risk.

PLEASE CHECK IN ON ELDERLY FAMILY, FRIENDS, AND NEIGHBORS. Elderly people don't thermoregulate well and often have a poor sense of how warm/cold they are as well. See how they are doing daily. Visit inside their homes if you can to check if it's very hot.

CHILDREN ARE VULNERABLE TOO. The little ones don't sweat! The energetic and generally oblivious behavior of older children is a hazard as well; vigorous play even indoors may overheat them.

EATING DISORDERS MAKE YOU VULNERABLE. IF YOU HAVE A RESTRICTIVE EATING DISORDER AT ANY WEIGHT, YOU ARE MORE VULNERABLE TO HEAT. IF YOU USE EXERCISE TO PURGE, IT WILL OVERHEAT YOU. Nobody mentions this! But you lose your ability to sweat and eventually your ability to thermoregulate from either extreme. Thin or heavy, it is the starvation and bodily deterioration that causes this, not a lack/abundance of adipose tissue. When I was active, this was a real concern that nobody told me about. PLEASE let your fellow ED patients know this. You deserve to be informed and taken into account in discussions of this type.

DON'T FUCKING MAKE FUN OF FAT/THIN/ELDERLY FOLKS WEARING EXPOSING CLOTHES. THE END. Like don't do it ever, but especially now.

PREVIOUS HEAT STROKE MAKES YOU MORE VULNERABLE TO IT IN FUTURE. If you have had it, even if it wasn't bad enough to send you to a medic, you will feel it sooner, especially if it was recent-ish.

MANY ORAL MEDICATIONS, INCLUDING MANY PSYCH MEDS, INCREASE RISK OF HEAT EXHAUSTION. Share this fact with friends, family, neighbors too. Ask your doctor or pharmacist, or a quick Google of (medication) + heat intolerance/heat stroke/photosensitivity will help.

MANY ORAL MEDICATIONS AND TOPICAL MEDS AND ANTI-AGING CREAMS, ESPECIALLY MEDS FOR ACNE/SKIN REPAIR, CAN MAKE YOU BURN BADLY. Again, please look these up or talk to a doctor or pharmacist.

LOOK INTO DIY FAN AND STYRO COOLER AC UNITS. Cheap, easy. Please look into these, make them for vulnerable people too. Haven't vetted all these but it's a start.

8 DIY AC UNITS.

11 DIY AC UNITS.

HIGH SPF SUNSCREEN (50+) DOES NOT LAST LONGER OR BLOCK SIGNIFICANTLY MORE UV! SPF 30 actually blocks 97% of UV! SPF 50 only bumps that to 98%! People also may think it lasts longer. It doesn't! You must reapply just as often. (Spray sunscreen is great if you have painful acne on your face btw.)

Please spread this info and other helpful posts you see.

[purgemarchlockdown]

for character ask game! 👀

please, tell us more, I love hearing about Amane-chan

13, 24, 26, 30

I'd love too! Plus you choose some Incredibly Fun Questions.

13. Your favorite friendship they have

Am I allowed to say the Cat? It's her bestest friend in a sense and the layers of symbolism and metaphor make me love it even more.

If not it's 0308 it's always going to be 0308. I Love those two. It's kinda hard to explain why since their limited interaction in the Timelines have been hinting at Fuuta being indoctrinated by her (or atleast learning about her beliefs) but like- this is the Supernatural Hell Prison I'll take what I can get when it comes to friendships and those two Need Friends.

They seem to genuinely like each other's company too as Amane is the one who approaches him, unlike most of her other interactions and Fuuta asks her for advice not once but twice. It's very sweet I think.

(Sidenote: something I think about, if Fuuta gets indoctrinated will he like...try to find her outside of Milgram? Like...if both of them get out will Fuuta try to find her? And if so how will that go down? It's something that I think about- honestly someone give them as 2D Beat-Em-Up co-op game i think they deserve it)

24. What do you think is a secret they have that they never told anyone?

Which one?

That's partially a joke but also- which one? There's so many, she hides so many things for her own safety.

I'll go with her wanting to eat cake though, there's something so painfully normal about it I guess? Like, she just wants to eat cake, that's not a crime or anything, it's a normal dessert. She just...Can't Have It. It really hammers home how arbitrary the Doctrines of the cult Are, or atleast in the way it's enforced on Amane.

26. When do you think they were being "themselves" the most?

This is a very funny question to ask anon and you know it.

Anyway Purge March ending. It's the Purge March Ending, specifically when the line "You’re sorry? I don’t care!" starts up.

I mention sometimes that Amane is using the vow breaking as an "righteous" reason of sorts to murder her mother. If her mother didn't kill the cat Amane wouldn't have a "good" reason to kill her.

But by that line all "righteous" reasons are thrown away to give way to Amane's genuine want for her Mother to Fucking Die, because she never forgave her and Amane Won't Either.

There's a real subtle shift between "I won't forgive you for breaking your vow" To "I won't forgive you for Hurting Me." It's really great I like it a lot.

I think that genuine anger and rage and sadness coupled with how she stops hiding what she wants for a moment really sells it for me as the scene where Amane Momose is the most Her.

(If in T3 she turns into an Actual Creature in her MV I will rescind this btw. T3 Monster Amane manifesting-)

30. The funniest scene they had?

Hm...that one minigram where she gets soy milk and makes Jackalope her accomplice. It's not Exactly the funniest but all the other Minigrams, except for the hair one (which is a personal favorite of mine but not as funny as soy milk) are also nods to Horrible Things That Happened To Her which makes me sad.

[shmowder]

That's good info to know about your requests! I'm happy that general rqs won't be a problem because that's all my brain wants to come up with 😅

Thank you for the Stardew compliment :] I'm just about done with Spring year 1 and I blew all my money on the backpack upgrades (got lucky and grew a giant cauliflower!), and I'm constantly low on energy and running out of time to do things. Somehow this is reminding me of Pathologic 2 now, lol. I know that's typical of the early game. Still, it's comforting to know that other than a cutscene or two, there's nothing really missable as long as you have the patience to wait for the seasons to roll around again. Btw. The secret to getting to the lower floors in the mines quickly and without combat is to craft a bunch of staircases ;)

Anyway! I took a scroll through your whole blog and I must say the Daniil & Artemy treating the reader's "hysteria" concept? Inspired. Chefs kiss ✨

Who are your favorite adult characters in P2? Mine are Aglaya, Yulia, and Victor. Not that I can explain why but Yulia and Victor were the ones I was running around town like crazy trying to make sure they didn't die (along with most of the kids). Tmi time, I'm not often interested in men but I LOVE that sad old man.

I like Artemy and his little circle of old friends, too. Feel free to infodump, or not, if you want to ^^

🐿️ anon

Between all the Pathologic characters, I feel like only a handful would thrive as Stardew Valley farmers.

Daniil would want to replace Harvey's position since day one and never grow a single crop in his life.

Clara would depend on lucky drops, trash can dives and blackmailing Mayor Lewis about the gold statue money embezzlement fiasco to earn a living wage only for her twin to put his purple shorts in the soup pot during luau

Artemy would thrive there, I feel it in my bones. He would build a pretty good self-watering potato farm with a cow penhouse or two. Sticky and Murky would enjoy the Valley too, especially with all the supernatural things hidden around they can find.

And oh stairs in the mines! That explains why I progressed at the pace of a slug each day. I just raw dogged it each time and got my ass beaten only to grumbly go fish instead to unwind.

The thing with Stardew Valley is that there is no race against time so much but the limited Stamina and all the possible ways to upgrade and improve little by little each day makes it a game where the antagonist is your own ego. Or at least in my case, because I refused to use sprinklers that weren't iridum since what was the point!! But also, I finished an entire year without getting much iridium, so I was pretty desperate and burnt out from can watering every day by the time I did unlock them. Or how the npcs friendship depelates each day and it felt like such a personal insult to me to not have everyone like me so much at all times that I chased them every single day to talk and avoid friendship depletion.

I made Stardew Valley my own living hell by my own hands thanks to the stubborn human ego. Water by can everyday, chase down and talk to 30+ people everyday, only have enough time to progress 4 levels down in the mine before dying on the said 4th then rage quitting the game and reinstalling league like a normal person. If I'm going to get fucked by a game I rather it be my own teammates bending me over.

ANYWAY.

No I'm not finished.

Do you think Victor would do good in Stardew Valley? Not as a farmer but like as an npc. Oh god, can you even imagine what the kains would do to that town, I almost feel bad... almost. They'd perform all kinds of experiments to test the limit of that reality. They'd bother the wizard to work for them and lock the immortal farmer in some basement to find out just how they achieved the immortality.

He'd probably easily get people to follow him and rope the young adults into some utopian cult like he does in pathologic.

Yulia might chill there, becomes Gunther's roommate, visit the beach occasionally, and befriend Elliott and Leah. Yeah, I see Yulia getting happier in that town. Except for the occasional fits of saying ominous fate predictions she made about the villagers' future, to their face.

Aglaya would guillotine Mayor Lewis the second she steps a foot off of that train and into the town. And don't we love her for that!! My wife <33333

Okay now I am finished!

Hmm... My favourite adults. They're practically the same as yours, Aglaya, Victor, and Yulia. Oh, I really like Isidor too despite all the uh... non-fun things he has done.

I loved Aglaya even before the whole romance thing with Artemy which took me by complete surprise because I never expected to find romance in Pathologic of all things! Sure I knew about Daniil and Eva but thought they were a one off special case where it's mostly implied than obviously stated?

Then comes Aglaya, swinging and throwing you off your rhythm. You meet her and think, "Oh god, not another crazy person who talks sophisticated p throw-up nonsense and pretends its high-brow philosophy."

*Cough* The kains!!! *cough*

Like I absolutely did not care for her before meeting her. I didn't know her, and the cutscenes in the theatre about her the night prior felt like they were tying too hard to make me afraid of her. And I think they could've worked if approached differently. Only after meeting her and being faced with her brash brutal dialogue that I fell in love.

The biggest threat she resembled was death, and as a player, you know you have death immunity because who else would play the game, huh? So you never feel the need to tiptoe around despite her holding the power to immediately order your hanging outside.

I knew I was never going to die, so I never was careful with Aglaya. Although seeing that one cutscene of people lining up against the wall the day she arrives did make me feel a bit uneasy, especially with both Daniil and Clara there too looking almost intimidated.

The build-up to her reveal is so amazing. They show you the unmoveable power pillars of this town absolutely losing their marbles at her arrival. The same people who tried to manipulate you blatantly or never bothered to give you the time of the day were terrified to their core.

I don't think any other character gets as much reveal build up and theatrics about her like Aglaya. No other character in pathologic could cause the same stirr, could make the Kains, Saburovs and Olgimsky running around like headless chickens.

In P2, how worried everyone was when lining up outside the church to take turns and await their judgement. How it's the only time you ever see the stamatin twins out of their usual spots, the so proclaimed absolute freedom enthusiasts actually walking by their own feet to the inquisitor and follow direct orders! IT'S A CIRCUS SHOW!

Or the fact she literally puts up a hanging station right in front of the crucible, the kains' resident! The one family so obsessed with immortality and preservation are faced with the grim reality of not only death but being hanged to death by her, being killed, and put to display for everyone to see. Knowing she has the power to order their execution at any time.

What a power move of her.

AND IN FRONT OF THE POLYHEDRON TOO! Nine total nooses awaiting them. It's a direct threat she places in front of them with a clear message, behave or else.

You witness usually collected and rational Kains, the powerful leaders of this town, terrified to their core that day.

Georgiy isn't in his workshop like usual, he is standing outside to look at the symbol of death in the face.

Much like dads stand in the streets with their hands crossed to watch the aftermath of a car crash, except he is looking at the future with the implications it could be his very own car that ends up there.

He doesn't even talk to you, he's just staring. Dread sinking into his stomach as he watches the people walking in nervously before exiting the cathedral with their mind broken or tears streaming down their face.

The inquisition is absolutely terrifying. Especially when you consider how Nina on her own made the whole town walk on eggshells, how Aglaya's her sister.

Talking about Nina, guess who's portrait Victor sits on the floor in front of after seeing the hearing ropes outside.

Well...not her. I thought this painting was of Nina Kaina but apparently it's Maria's concept art which is kinda sweet.

BABY BOY IS HUGGING HIS KNEES

You talk to him and the first thing he talks about is the church and why they built it. How it distributes times to the clocks throughout the town.

How Aglaya's presence there is clearly affecting time and making it go faster, and yet Victor doesn't dare say a thing.

God, I love Aglaya. No one else could compare the aura of absolute power she is dripping with, the heavy presence she instils into the church. The walk up to her standing in front of a throne in P1.

There is also another scene where the executioners literally bow down to her as she arrives into town

While in P2, that imagery is replaced by her standing behind the gaint swinging pendulum of the church clock. It almost looks like a saw threatening to cut your neck off as you cautiously walk under it to reach her.

She arrives at the prime of conflict and plague, immediately gets down to business and stays awake for three whole days just to absorb as much information as she possibly can. She forcefully moves the plot along, opens the factories and pulls all the short strings of lies to expose them.

Not to mention how utterly massive the church is, it has three floors you can climb up to and even save your game in. Yet not a single soul is in there except Aglaya who easily fills up this empty structure with her own presence.

You make it past the hanging saw and reach her, only for her back to be kept turned towards you. You get the feeling that you're intruding on someone busy, the same churning of stomach you feel when you're just a kid nervously knocking on the school principle office and sitffly standing to the side, waiting for her to finish the paperwork before giving you permission to talk.

It's nerve-wracking how calm she is. If you cross her as the player, she immediately calls you out and reminds you who she is. Just who do you think you're talking to with that tone?

She is truly a mother's doll. The discipline, the respect she demands, the way you find yourself answering to her without question or second thought. She gives and orders, and it's carried immediately, no buts, no arguing and no talking back.

In a way, she does bring justice to Farkhad without being aware of it. He's been killed long ago by the Stamatin twins, or at least that's major theory, and he's the one who made the church. How fitting it is for the person who wants to destroy the polyhedron as revenge for her sister to seek shelter in the same church of his making.

As a final note, the inquisition symbol "the steel heart" greatly looks like her.

This is Aglaya Lilich. This symbol is absolutely how the entire world views her. A heart of steel and a frost dagger of a stare. You look at this and immediately understand you are in trouble. You made a mistake, and you must get punished for your sins. For your betrayal.

The top part reminds me of steppe symbols and sigils, it almost looks like Samn the circle of life.

She is always depicted as above people, as your greatest nightmare and investable demise.

-

I planned on talking about Victor and Yulia too but Aglaya stole the show and honestly I can't blame her.

Since they are your favourite characters however, and mine lmao, I'm very confident that you already get the basics and understand their core concepts.

So instead, I'll talk about the small easy-to-miss details I've noticed about them!

Starting with Victor, he is actually a very loving parent. He admits to missing Caspar, he has many pictures of Maria hanged around his wing of the crucible both in P1 and P2.

Which is so endearing with how he wants to appear rational and nothing else 90% of the time. How his way of speech is almost mechanical, unlike other characters, it doesn't matter what you say to Victor Kain because he rarely reacts to your words. He is straightforward and is only interested in saying what's on his mind, not in what you have to say about it.

And yet, he openly admits how much he wants his son back, Caspar.

He is one of the people who ordered the tower to be built, this is his life purpose and what's his entire family has been working towards since the beginning.

Yet he can't help but resent it for stealing his son.

Victor still does everything in his power to protect the power, that monster keeping his kid estranged to him, to be a good brother and keep true to his words, to fullfill his promises to his family, to truly build a utopia and change the world.

And it's chipping away at his sanity.

Imagine how he feels seeing Maria grow and lose her sense of being as she transforms into a mistress. As she desperately tries to fill the empty vacuum of space Nina left behind.

How did the father feel watching his little daughter stand in front of a mirror, same one he hanged in her room, trying on her late mother's crown and watching it slip off no matter how desperately she attempts to keep her head held high... But it's just too heavy.

He wanted to tell Caspar to come home, he wants to tell Maria to live her age and not let this town consume her like it did to her mother. But his two brothers keep his hands tied, they told him not to interfer with the kids in the polyhedron, Maria barely listens to him or acknowledges him has a dad, a father yes but not a dad.

In another twist of fate, both him and Aglaya share that habit of telling people to stay quiet for 40 something seconds while they think. They probably both learned it from Nina in the past.

In P1, the crucible design had more space and rooms. It looked like actual people lived there. You can even find Khan's room next to Maria's, you see his untouched furniture and the toys on his shelf, you see the two pairs of wooden practice swords on his desk and wonder if his dad made them for him. A picture is painted before your eyes of a younger Victor teaching a 7 year old Caspar how to hold a sword, how to swing, and how to block.

Did he let his son win? Did he surrendered after they sparred just to see a smile on Khan's face?

In P2, the door to his son's room is blocked.

You don't get to see many traces of Maria's childhood in her room, both in P2 and P1. Like she grew up too fast, or as if she threw out all the evidences of her past to make way for her future, slithering like a snake and wrapping itself around her to suffocate her and call it love, to restraint her and paint it as absolute freedom, to isolate her until all she could hear is the whispering of her mother's corpse from the grave.

It's like he knows he doomed his two kids by bringing them into this world. That they could never be kids once they were born Kains.

That they might not even survive.

-

For Yulia, i didn't talk to her much at the start of the game because I was performing an exploit. The game only acknowledge the existence of an npc once you actively talk to them. If you don't, then they aren't considered a possibility yet and can't get infected.

You have two chances to talk to Yulia at the start for flavour text, once at the Olgimskys' balcony and another at the makeshift theatre hospital. Afterwards she forces you to talk to her by sending you a letter to come to the trammel.

Listen- It was one less person to cure/protect from infection and I did what I needed to do. You can do this with Khan too actually, but it does mean failing a side quest and subsequently getting an entire area infected.

It is funny it a way how if you just don't talk to people and do only your main quests, they never get infected.

Wait is the game saying that the player is the actual plague in this situation wait hold on w-

Anyway Yulia! Lesbian Icon. She has a heavy implied relationship with Eva in P1 when Clara is trying to take advantage of Eva to manipulate Yulia into... yk a little trip the underworld. Tho it's only evident in Clara's route? Take my words with a grain of salt, I'm not sure how accurate their relationship was implied in p1.

You don't get any of that in P2, sadly. Or maybe it's just the Haruspex's route? In P1, as Artemy, you literally never have a single reason to talk to her once, not a single quest require her.

The only time I talked to her was like on day 10 or 11 because I was around the area and curious since we haven't even met yet. It was a nice talk, she's very polite and interesting with her words. Ik people like to compare her to Daniil Dankovsky and his obnoxious speeches.

But I think Yulia is a better conversationist than him. She explains herself more than him and doesn't necessarily come of as condcending but only passionate, Daniil talks over you while Yulia talks to you. It feels like she is coming to the conclusion just as she is explaining it to you while Daniil is revising a rehearsed speech he undoubtedly practiced before.

The interesting detial I noticed about her is how she is humble despite meeting all the required qouta to be a utopian. She is a genius through and through, and her ideas about fate and time overlap with the kains. At times, she is willing to put herself in danger just to see an experiment done. even just out of curiosity.

And yet, she is not one of them.

Instead, she is placed within the redemption-seeking sinners and helpless saints. She is in the same shoes as Lara who wants to do good but feels utterly powerless, in the same situation as Rubin who was the best student there ever was and yet none of his effort was ever enough.

Yulia is clearly keeping a secret, some side we aren't shown ingame. An effort to put some worth on a life she deems wasted.

She is gentle with the Haruspex in P2.

Yulia clocks you, Artemy, as someone who thinks with their heart since the start. She admits you will be able to see and understand things most people can't because of that, things she herself can never comprehend.

It's not even a backhanded compliment. Both Yulia and Daniil think with their brain, yet when met by someone driven by heart and emotions like Artemy, Daniil refuses to acknowledge your methods and clings to rationality while Yulia understands how both methods are of importance and to not underestimate you.

By the end, she offers you to be her assistant. You. Someone who doesn't like big words and doesn't know a lick of Latin. She sees great potential in you and is impressed by how you saved the town.

-

lmao what was very long. It took a couple of days to write but I enjoy it and it was fun! I wanted to include more pictures but alas the pictures limit in a single post is cruel.

I hope you enjoyed reading it! I'm unsure of how much to explore when it comes to each character in these posts because what if I'm just retelling something you already know?

On the other side, what if I go too niche and the reader can't relate or understand what I'm saying? Honestly it's headache inducing. I haven't been feeling well lately, life and all.

But there is beauty in creation and in talking about details in other's creations! So many games and stories have such thoughtfull details and subtle notes put into them, I adore digging for symbolism wherever I can find it. I feel like a detective hehe.

I hope your day is going well <3 I was thinking lately about how much I like the emoji you chose for your anon. Mostly because I saw a truly mind-boggling anon emoji choice in another blog- So bad I almost thought they were trolling- but they weren't.

Meanwhile a squirrel is literally amazing! What a great choice! Now I just imagine a tiny squirrel coming in my inbox leaving letters and eating the peanuts I leave Aaaa my heart <3333

[eruden-writes]

The Unexpected Human Problem - Part 9 (Yautja x Human)

Part 1 | Part 2| Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5| Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9 | Part 10 | Part 11 | Part 12 | Part 13 | Part 14 | Part 15 | Part 16 | Part 17 | Part 18 | Part 19 | Part 20 | Part 21 | Part 22 | Part 23 | Part 24 | Part 25 | Part 26 | Part 27 | Part 28 | Part 29 | Part 30 (coming soon)

If you like what I create, please consider:  ✨ patreon | ✨ ko-fi

You can get early chapter access on Patreon, btw!

Comments, tags and reblogs are real motivators for me, too!

---

Summary: The night her abductors die, Rayelle finds herself running for her life. She doesn’t know where she is, what is following her, where to go. All she knows is she’s not on Earth any longer and the thing chasing her has the capacity to kill.

Tai'dqei never anticipated finding a human when he took the job of tracking and subduing a small contingent of smugglers. It was only when the human attacked and fled fled, Tai'dqei - hopped up on the euphoria of a successful hunt - gave chase, instinct burning at his center.

Will sense return to Tai'dqei before he catches Rayelle? Or will Rayelle be subjected to the yautja’s natural inclinations?

And what happens afterwards?

---

CHAPTER CW: Mating ritual discussions.

Tag list: @ajarofpickledtears

---

With the human staring him down and no other feasible excuse to put it off, Tai'dqei grudgingly decided taking this confrontation head on was the best tactic. The longer he avoided it, the worst it'd be.

"I misinterpreted the situation," Tai'dqei admitted, his mandibles flexing awkwardly. He attempted to stifle the nervous tic as Rayelle glanced at the movement. Whatever she thought of his mandibles, he could only imagine. Non-yautja had told him before they were unsettling.

"How do you misinterpret that situation?" Rayelle felt the hysterical edge slice through her voice, making the edges of her words rough. Her attention was still transfixed to those pincers on Tai'dqei's face. They couldn't just be for show. A prickle crept up Rayelle's back, wondering if it was agitation that made his mandibles fidget or something else.

A muscle flexed in Tai'dqei's jaw as he considered how to answer her. A human with no experience or knowledge of aliens. How did one even begin? He wasn't even sure what a normal human mating ritual was like, so he couldn't even draw comparisons.

Which meant he should start with the basics, he decided.

"I am a yautja," Tai'dqei began after a breath to gather his thoughts. Judging from the annoyed expression that crimped Rayelle's face as she turned her eyes to his, Ah'ke had already introduced their species. He trudged on, before she could interrupt him and derail his minute progress. Doing his best to keep his tone level and non-condescending, he continued, "The instinct to hunt is strong in our blood. When a hunt goes well, like my bounty job that led me to you, the adrenaline and euphoria are high."

At that, she scoffed. This was beginning to sound like the plethora of other excuses she had heard in her lifetime. "It's not my fault, emotions were high!" "Can you really blame me for having fun?" "That wasn't me, that was the alcohol." And so on and so forth.

"So your sense of accomplishment makes it okay t-" Rayelle words abruptly halted as Tai'dqei grabbed her by the arm, pulling her closer to him and pressing his warm palm to her mouth. The movement had been so fast, Rayelle's heart barely had a chance to stutter. Her eyes flew wide with rage, instantly trying to pull away from his firm hold.

"Let me finish," he said quietly, hunched over her. The heat of her skin and her breath against his palm did little to still the sudden fire at his core. If she was going to interrupt him every other sentence with biting remarks, he'd never get through this. It didn't help that every confrontational word out of her mouth or action razed at his core. He didn't want his romp at the sex house to be completely undone as soon as he returned to his ship.

Rayelle's eyes flickered over his face, searching for something that was even a mystery to herself, but she stilled. Something, an unspoken sincerity maybe, gave her pause. Or maybe she was a fool, she didn't know.

Though she did squint in displeasure at him, hating how strong and warm his hold felt. It scraped at something raw inside her. It was only that sensation that kept her from planting her hands on his chest and shoving. Additional points of contact, she feared, would just further frustrate and confuse her.

As Tai'dqei spoke, he slowly lowered his hand from Rayelle's mouth. "In that state of mind, I had no intention to touch you like I did. Until you threw something and ran."

He paused experimentally, to see if she would cut in again. She remained quiet, her demanding gaze on him as she waited for further explanation. "One yautja mating ritual is meant to assess the capabilities of a mate by gaining their attention and then running. Challenging them to a different sort of hunt."

He remembered that moment so clearly. Approaching the small cage she was in, her eyes locked to the sight of him. The tang of blood in the air, the smears on his armor, the adrenaline still clawing delightfully through him.

Tai'dqei could only imagine what terror she felt when she saw him - with his blood-covered armor and intimidating stature - but his brain was pumped up on success from a job well done. Though he knew she was staring warily, part of him wondered if there was a bit of admiration in the look. She had to acknowledge his strength, his fearsomeness, if she was wary, right?

Then she threw that damn water bowl at him and he completely lost his sense.

When Rayelle next spoke, her tone only solidified Tai'dqei's own annoyance with himself. "Excuse me?"

Now, she writhed out of his hold, jerking herself out of the hand that had gone lax on her shoulder. It took all of Tai'dqei's discipline to not grab at her, clutch her tight, touch her. Heat bled into her face and down her body, embarrassed and angry. "You're saying because I stared and threw something at you and ran, you thought I wanted you to fuck me?"

Between the memories and the slowly kindling heat, it was easy for Tai'dqei to recall how he felt and thought during their first meeting. Even now, he could feel the burn of temptation gnawing at his hands. "Yes. I thought you were inviting me to pursue you, to catch you. As gratitude for helping you."

So taken aback by the straightforward answer, Rayelle took a step away from Tai'dqei. She stared, wide-eyed, up at him while her brain scrambled to understand. What was his play? He didn't sound remorseful, but he didn't sound agitated either.

"When I realized you were not enjoying yourself, I stopped." Tai'dqei's voice softened as he bowed his head. Rayelle watched as the tendrils that sprouted from his head shifted, catching the light in the ship. "I cannot apologize enough."

Words escaped her. She just could not find anything to respond to him with. The only thing Rayelle could do was stare at the alien - a yautja, she reminded herself - and attempt to process his words. She wasn't sure if she believed him. It would be so easy for him to lie to the naive little human, wouldn't it?

But part of her didn't think he was lying. If so, he could have come up with a million better excuses, couldn't he? She couldn't think of any at the moment, but, well, she was still trying to parse his straightforward attitude in answering her.

At the very least, he seemed sincere. There was no balking and no excuses, just an explanation why things had happened they way they had. Even if he could have hidden behind instincts, he didn't.

Tai'dqei knew he did wrong. Part of her internally wailed about how he was still doing wrong by keeping her captive and collaring her. If he truly wanted to do right by her, wouldn't he give her freedom? Another part of Rayelle reminded her this wasn't her home, her time, her planet. She managed to get into this trouble without playing an active role, beyond pursuing a divorce. What other trouble could she get into, out of ignorance? Tai'dqei already said the collar was for her safety. But was it really?

Though she knew he was waiting for a retort, her brain spat out static amid the chaos.

Instead of reacting, or replying, or doing anything to acknowledge his apology and explanation, Rayelle turned and walked away, a blank stare on her face. A million different thoughts tumbled around her head, but she couldn't make sense of a single one.

An alien took her vicious bid for freedom as a flirtatious invite. An alien that had, with daunting strength and precision, bloodily dispatched a whole squad of other aliens. And that same alien had bought her fidget toys and chocolate.

It was too much for Rayelle. Once more, she had to lay down as her sense of reality wobbled.

Tai'dqei let her go, watching as she ducked back into the guest quarters. It was for the best, he told himself, as he went to put his supplies in their appropriate places.

—

Over the course of the next couple days - or cycles, as Rayelle was learning, since there was no sun or 24-hour segmentation - she and Tai'dqei avoided one another. She did the bulk of the avoiding, though. He'd offer a greeting and small talk, letting her know they'd be staying docked until his employer came around, but on the whole she'd ignore him. She'd only take the food he offered or look at him when he spoke, but beyond that, their interaction was minimal.

Well, other than when she needed his help operating the shower. Whenever she thought about that moment, as short as it was, her face warmed with embarrassment. Which annoyed her. It was no different than asking how to operate the shower anywhere else! Except it was a little different.

She had asked someone who had taken her assault on him as a flirtation. Who pursued her and almost assaulted her due to misunderstanding, if that were to be believed. Who had, thus far, given her a way to communicate and provided her with food and new clothes and entertainment. Even if the damnable collar remained on her throat.

Thinking about Tai'dqei made her suspicions, hope, and logic fight, like dogs chasing cats. It was easier not to think about him.

For Tai'dqei's part, he felt like her efforts to ignore him were for the best. Especially after she asked how to work the shower. Just being in an enclosed space, knowing she'd soon be naked in said space, taunted his thoughts. He'd given her a straightforward rundown on how to use the shower and retreated as fast as he could to his training room.

He would have liked to say he was trying to redirect the energy elsewhere. In reality, he just chose to work up a sweat to excuse his need for the shower later on. And once in the shower, he'd get a little dirtier before getting clean.

On this day, however, something new transpired.

"I'll be heading out today. My employer finally came in to finish up our contract." Tai'dqei informed Rayelle on the third cycle. Rayelle was sitting up on her bed, alerted to Tai'dqei's entry seconds earlier by his knock. The antique paperback she had been reading rested on her lap, her finger marking her spot.

Her annoyance at his sudden entry was somewhat mollified by his announcement. Curiosity instantly lit up in her eyes when she registered his words and noticed his full black armor. Faint memories of that first night flickered in her head, although most of the first half had certainly been a blur.

"Is Ah'ke going to babysit me again?" Rayelle posited the question with a heaping dollop of sarcasm. Hopefully enough to get through any language or cultural barriers.

"No, she's too busy." Tai'dqei pointedly ignored her sharp tone. Ah'ke had reminded him enough, through their communiques, that Rayelle was still adjusting. Rising at her mere tone would accomplish nothing. He hefted a container, which held the bounties' heads, onto his hip and shot Rayelle a look, which she likely couldn't see beyond the mask he wore. "Just stay here until I come back."

"I don't have much choice," Rayelle retorted, tugging at her collar pointedly. She critically eyed Tai'dqei in his whole set-up, realizing portions of his arms and legs weren't entirely covered by the dark armor. Between plates of armor and under the mesh material, his rusty red-orange-to-pale-yellow colorations peeked through.

Tai'dqei stood still for a breath, watching Rayelle through his visor. She returned his steadfast leer with a raised eyebrow and a slightly mocking shake of her head. "Well?"

He pointed to the floor, emphasizing each word with a downward motion to the floor. "Stay. Put."

While Tai'dqei certainly worried about Rayelle's safety, another concern - were she to run away - sat with the hormones that had almost consistently remained simmering inside him. Tracking her down through the station would only whet that unwanted appetite.

Her frown deepened, her glare heating unhappily as she crossed her arms over her chest. She wasn't about to agree with his demand. Heaviness settled in the air between the two, growing heavier when she didn't respond.

After another moment to consider, Tai'dqei set the container down and input a command into his wrist gauntlet. Rayelle tilted her head curiously at him. When he retrieved the container, once more settling it on his hip, he turned to leave. Just before he moved beyond the limited visibility of her door, he said, "When I go, the ship is going on lockdown. Stay. Here."

With as much scorn as she could muster, Rayelle snorted. But Tai'dqei ignored her and continued down the hall, her door closing behind him. Rayelle sat back on her bed, returning to book. Or attempting to, at least.

No matter how she tried to force her eyes to the words, her mind was focused on listening. She heard Tai'dqei's heavily armored boots clomp down the hall, the sound gradually becoming softer. When it sounded as if he had exited the ship, additional things shuttered behind him. Rayelle could hear the extra security measures, whatever they were, clunking into place.

Setting her book down in her lap, she eyed her own door. Likely, her collar was tied to some sort of system or program that would alert Tai'dqei to movement outside of a certain range. Perhaps the ship. Perhaps the docking port. Rayelle's eyes narrowed, wondering how long she had until Tai'dqei returned.

Tai'dqei would presumably be too busy collecting his bounty to pay attention to all notifications. Which meant, if she timed her escape right, she could get out of the ship without him immediately realizing it. Gradually, swarming questions began to spin across her mind.

How far could she even get? Should she even bother trying to find someone to remove the collar? Or maybe just slumming it onto a ship, getting out of range, was a better option? If the Time Council, or whatever they were called, were such a big deal, Rayelle could probably find them on her own. She was capable.

Rayelle's gaze flicked back to the book in her possession. Her mind lolled over the other things Tai'dqei had gotten her, his concerns of her well-being, the lengths he'd gone to to get them capable of communicating.

Should she even try to leave? Her alien abductors had intended to do something with her. Maybe it had been extremely good luck to be found by Tai'dqei. Who knew how others would treat her? What if the temporal authorities weren't so easy to find?

And what if it all had been a lie? How'd she even know the difference? What if Tai'dqei had made it all up, just to keep her subservient? At least, as subservient as he could manage. Rayelle swallowed at that thought, considering how Ah'ke would be an accessory to the lies, if that was the case.

Her hands tightened on her book, until the spine creaked in her grasp.

She gave Tai'dqei thirty minutes of peace, while she haphazardly collected a bag's worth of supplies, before working on finding a way out.

[ss-shitstorm]

Okay okay the ratchet first fp au was equally heartrending but also perfect and thank you so much for going into so much detail to expound on my silly little fantasy, I love it! But if you don’t mind, I’m gonna poke you with one more question that’s bugged me ever since MC woke up and ratch op and bee had to catch her up on the last 30 years: they mentioned unicron and Optimus’ amnesia (which is another au you’re portraying marvelously well btw! I love shiny and new to pieces!), as well as a couple of the other tfp eps, but I don’t recall them mentioning synth-en? Like, at all? (Unless I totally missed it?) Between ratchet’s problems and op’s withdrawal, I figured that the tension between them like the scene where they fight and ratchet accuses op of being too soft to take out megatron and that’s why they lost cliff jumper, combined with MC’s unconsciousness, op’s guilt about it, and ratchet’s (partial?) blame for op putting her in that condition to start with and envy knowing he would’ve had more restraint and cared for her more in his mind (and them both missing her terribly and being lost without her), would kind of cause a boiling point between them? (Fun fact if you didn’t know it but the tfp writers had tossed around the idea of ratchet blaming op for elita one’s death instead of cliffjumper, but they had the Orion pax arc coming up and they didn’t want to add anymore characters or smth so they nixed it) So if ratchet spews about mc (and elita??) to op, does op snap too in this case? Do they actually come to blows? Does op even get mad and rise to the bait or does it just break his heart bc now ratchet is turning on him too and pointing out every mistake he’s made and ratchets never been that mean to him before and wouldn’t dream of saying any of it under normal circumstances but is so hyped up he no longer has a filter? I am reeling here at the possibilities! I am so fricken curious bc your unique individual characterizations of them as well as their mutual adoration for mc would give so many delicious untapped layers to that episode - and again you don’t have to answer this at all but I would love to hear your thoughts! :) thank you so much for your time!

(dude I'm so sorry it took me so long to respond to this AND that it's nowhere near as long as that other ask)

A : anon thank you for the praise about everything esp. shiny n new like goddamn I love that little thing so much, B : I had no idea about Elita in TFP until you mentioned that and I'm very glad they left that out bc I would absolutely have not fucking survived that my heart's in pieces just from reading that, and C :

I think they would have started fighting. As in, Ratchet, with 0 filter, would start laying it out how mad he is about what happened to you. He would blame it on Optimus, and at the time, he would feel totally justified in saying it.

-Optimus would be barely able to hold back his rage, but manages to restrain himself. Tells Ratchet he needs to go home, let that crap work through his system, and recharge before talking to him again.

-Ratchet would then suggest Optimus frag him because that tends to knock people unconscious for indefinite periods of time.

-Optimus looses it. Lunges for him, grabs him and fucking throttles him.

-And the second his servos wrap around his throat, freezes. Because he touched someone. He touched someone he cared about, and he did it with the intent to hurt them.

-He goes catatonic.

-Ratchet, slightly sobered, has to pry his servos off of him, digit by digit.

-Once he does, he leaves in a huff, runs off to punch Megatron in the face like he originally intended.

-But not before ducking out of sight and having the quickest, filthiest guilty-wank of his life. Doesn’t matter how mad you are. Angrier-than-god-Optimus touching you will make you cream your jeans, and marching through deception territory with a spontaneous overload looming on the horizon probably isn’t a great strategy.

-Once he gets the shit kicked out of him and finally sobers up, and realizes that entire exchange not only happened, but happened in front of Bumblebee, he decides this was, in fact, the second worst thing he’s ever fucking done. He calculates the damage done to his filters, finds that the synth-en was mostly processed by other organs, chugs the rough hi-grade equivalent of 2 handles of bourbon, and blacks out for 72 hours straight.

-Neither of them ever speak about it again.

-To each other.

-They both tell you at different times after you’ve woken up

-shock, sadness, understanding, and reason no# 234382643 for feeling guilty about coma time.jpg.

-you bring it up to Bee eventually after a loooooong-ass time.

-He’s just like “wow that sucked but I figured it was par for the course having two(2) reincarnated gods and the universe’s most overpowered 3rd wheel as a family.”

-Thank you for putting things into perspective Baybee boy.

-Reader eventually relays this to both of them.

-Everyone feels marginally less shitty.

[butchniqabi]

slavery tw, rape tw, and pedophilia tw just thinking on something that i once wrote about and to this day am appalled and angered by

so probably like 5-ish years ago i got so furious with my history textbook's "good slave owner" angle that i willingly wrote an entire paper (which i turned into my teacher to look over) about the dynamics between slave owners and the enslaved. title was "Romanticization of Slave Narratives: Why Slaves Couldn't Consent to Their Masters." looking back it wasnt the most comprehensive but doing the research for it was so fucking miserable because of how ubiquitous the belief that there were good slave owners is. the most fucking anger and rage inducing is the recorded life and depictions of Sally Hemings, a woman owned by thomas jefferson (yes the "i oppose slavery" thomas jefferson who btw at one point owned over 500 people). like the reality of her position and status as an enslaved girl to an increasingly more politically powerful man is so often fucking ignored? theres an instance where jefferson sent for Sally (who i should mention is also his wife's half-sister) to accomopany his daughter to see him in france. at the time slavery was illegal in france, which left a great many idiotic white people to ask "well why didnt she leave? 🤨 if she really didnt want to be with him she would have left and not gone back to america with him". conveniently forgetting that at the time she was 14 years old and returned to the states pregnant.

a child who has spent her entire life enslaved, who now finds herself pregnant is supposed to run away in a foreign country to "prove" that she wasnt okay with being regarded as fucking property? like the narratives around this are so fucking disgusting because so many sites and books and biographies say "was this rape? who knows..." in regards to her "relationship" continuing until his death. but how is it not fucking obvious that it was rape?? we have like. laws and stuff (maybe youve heard of them) where we say that a child cannot legally consent to intimate relations with an adult even if they say they were willing because of the power dynamics at play. a 14 year old supposedly can consent to having a relationship with a man 30 years her senior (who legally OWNS her) that would result in multiple pregnancies and being essentially confined to one room in a house for the rest of her life?

like even IF he didnt legally own her (which shouldnt be ignored considering even if she was an adult at the time he first assaulted her my argument is the same that she could not consent) their dynamics would obviously be considered grooming. she had no fucking agency at any point and the question of "did they love each other" DOES NOT MATTER! it doesnt matter if he loved her or she loved him, because at the end of the day she was his slave! she couldnt actually consent because her safety was no guaranteed if she refused. she also couldnt consent because once again she was a child. white americans want sooooooo desperately for the image of the founding fathers to be squeaky clean and their faults minimized that they just ignore obvious evidence that suggests the contrary. and theyll rewrite history to have people believe that they were good, moral men. did you know that there was a miniseries called "sally hemings: an american scandal" that used to be called "...an american love story"? real great stuff, thanks for that sam neil

like for gods sake the fact that is still to this day even a debate as to whether or not it was consensual is getting tiring because it views consent in this context as just whether or not Sally said "yes" to him. viewing consent as just a "yes or no" situation is 1. an enduring part of rape culture and 2. so incredibly, astoundingly ignorant of the true nature of slavery. many historians and creators of media are so willing to let their adultification bias shape their view of the situation. a white girl in her position would undoubtibly be viewed today as a victim, but a black girl? she was mature enough, surely. and then to add insult to injury she gets victim blamed for not leaving or ending the relationship! god! the misogynoir is astounding really!

the lies white people tell themselves about chattel slavery have just become tiring at this point. how did i, as a black child, have a better understanding of the dynamics of slavery better than a white historian?

(the question is rhetorical, we all know why)

[todayisyourturntolose]

I don’t know your OCs but !

for one oc - 1 , 10 , 11 & 12

2nd oc - 20 , 21 , 24 , & 25

3rd OC - 29 , 33 , 36 , & 39 !

Pick and choose or do them all for 1 or each for a dif oc ! I hope that makes sense aaaa

RAAAAAH TYSM. I'll have it below the cut bcuz it is a lot hehe

ok so FIIIRST i'll do my boy richard! i love him lots but he's also an asshole. he doesn't really fit into any of my stories, he's just a one off character

1. What's Their Goal? - Richard's a spy for the British army, pretending to be a German officer, soooo I suppose his goal is to just not get caught??

10. How Old Are They?- He's 29 :)

11- What Are They?- He's a human. Just some guy. Most of my OCS (minus one) are all humans.

12-What Are They, Part 2- Uhhh. I'd classify him as a hero, somewhat. He's spying for a good reason sooo?

next is my pirate oc, Hansel! he's very silly but also kinda unhinged

20-Are They Alive?-Yep, but he's sorta kinda on the run bcuz he's sorta kinda hiding a murderer on his ship but that's neither here nor there

21-Do They Live on Earth?-Yep! A normal human man, Hansel.

24-Biggest Enemy?-OOOOH so. He's dead but Hansel's biggest enemy is Arthur Hambsburg. Won't got into detail abt him but all you need to know is that he's an asshole and got killed by Hansel's bf. They only knew each other for like. 30 minutes. He also kinda hates wealthy people despite the fact that he comes from a wealthy family but that's neither here nor there.

25-Identity?-Hansel is a RAGING bisexual. Bro (temporarily) caught feelings for his bf's sister bcuz they looked alike.

last, but not least, is ibrahim :) this is hansel's bf, and he serves a HUGE part of the plot

29-Have They Been Drawn?-I've only drawn Ibrahim twice, but I don't have the pictures on me atm. I do plan on drawing him more, tho!

33-Backstory?-oh em gee. I would be here for hours if I explained his backstory in full, but all you need to know is that he has a mom, one brother, and three sisters. (He's from Turkey/The Ottoman Empire btw, and his story takes place in the 1720s) His dad was a major creep and weirdo sooo Ibrahim killed him. (he had a reason too tho so he's excused). He meets Hansel after Hansel ends up near his town in search of a first mate. Yadda yadda stuff happens they fall in love

(I would answer 36, but I know almost nothing abt Pokemon, sorry :/)

39-Do They Read?-Ibrahim can read and write in both his mother language and English, having been taught by previous English speaking people he has come across.

and that's all i got! obviously this isn't a clear explanation of these characters, and i have more sooo if you wanna ask me...