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8-rae-rae-8 · 9 months

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To Save A Life - Chapter 2

Graves x Roach

Not looking for criticism

Tags under the cut!

Hurt/Comfort, Canon Typical Violence, Roach has trouble talking, Graves knows how to save a life (shocking), Roach x Graves, takes place in 09, Task Force 141 as Family (Call of Duty), Author Has Never Played Call Of Duty, Quite a few people are dead already, I'm not killing them, preshadow company, Graves doesn't have his shadows yet, Young Philip Graves, Young Gary Roach Sanderson, Past Simon "Ghost" Riley/Gary "Roach" Sanderson, (that is only potentially I haven't decided yet), Graves is considerate and kind??, Coma, it's inaccurate though, Pre-Graves being evil, inaccurate coma, slow burn, disabled character, suicidal thoughts, references to depression, guns, shooting, dead characters, [Some may be added or changed]

[Start]

Over the days, The american would come to talk to Roach. Unconscious or not. Sometimes, just sometimes, there would even be gentle contact. The american seemed touch starved. Alone, like Roach. He often spoke of how he lost his team in the army as well, easily assuming that's what happened to Roach. It was obvious anyways. Nothing to really be assumed at that point.

Healing wasn't easy. Nurses would come to clean and redress him and his wounds. But they seemed to know he was waking. Slowly more so every day. Slowly.

It wasn't an easy process. Not at all.

The pain would only cease, or dull, whenever he was given meds. And that often went ignored. He was considered a lost cause by a lot of the staff. Part of him always wished to scream for help when the pain would fill his body. The agony of the flame. The nonexistent flame.

It plagued him. But he was unable to gain aid in this state. This had to have been american grounds, the flawless american English, with little to no accent as far as Roach could tell. But then again, he wasn't in a good enough state to tell much.

What he could tell, though, was that he wasn't alone. Not entirely.

That american, the one that saved him, he seemed to linger. Always somewhere near. His voice around. Roach’s ears picked up his tone, and mannerisms. It was almost nice to be familiar with something here.

“I lost my team once too.” The voice spoke, from next to Roach's bed. Never far. The only tell he was able to hear was the slight spike in heart rate when the american had spoken so suddenly.

“You're up.” The man seemed surprised too. But not in a bad way, maybe not even good. A peaceful neutral.

“What am I sayin’..” He mumbled to himself. “Seems like a man like you doesn't sleep much anyway.. Hard to with all the shit you're hooked up to.” The sound of a small tap to a machine briefly filled Roach's ears.

“Ain't much I can do but wait for you.. not letting another man down by not waiting for ‘im to heal.” There was a small sigh. Though determination was clear in his nervous words. He'd be there to protect Roach.

Of course the words came with some surprise. A very slight exhale came from Roach, only ever so slightly. He'd get better. Because, like his mysterious savior, he would remain determined. There was hardly another option anyways.

Death was too far out of his reach.

Things didn't seem to bad when the american was there to speak. To fill the painfully quiet hospital room with his ramblings. It stopped feeling like it was himself against the world. Hell, sometimes it was himself against himself.

He'd get better, mentally.

The pain and the internal damage were other problems. Even as he slowly regained his ability think straight, he still couldn't make a single sound. Not one.

He shouldn't have, but he tried. It only came out as a breath. Which always had the american stepping closer, or sitting up. Believing halfheartedly that maybe he was waking up completely. It was almost impossible for now.

Impossible and painful.

There didn't feel as though there was a reason for it. Maybe it was from so little use of his vocal cords. That was probably it… or maybe the damage of inhaling so so much smoke.

Regardless, it was hard. Every hour he just wanted to open his eyes, he wanted to see. His eyes darting underneath his closed eyelids. It always seemed that the stranger knew what was needed. It was odd. Very odd to him.

“You'll be a’ight..” The voice spoke, as a hand rested so close to his forearm. His skin tingled at the closeness. It hurt.

“Soon, k?” The words were a poor attempt at comfort. Yet Roach took it all well. Peacefully. He even seemed ease as the other had assured him.

Over time, Roach felt closer to this man. Though his name was never shared (Or Roach didn't remember), he didn't mind. He was very used to secrets in his line of work. That was okay.

Some days, the man didn't show up. Others, he'd be there the whole day. It was hard to tell what kind of day it was. But it seemed to be on some sort of a schedule. Roach never knew where he went off to. There was just a familiar warmth when he came back.

Warmth that was comforting, rather than scary.

Maybe because he'd been told to much about this man, yet knew little to nothing about him. He knew the man enough, but he wasn't sure he knew the person inside. Too shielded off to share more personal details, almost.

Some things slipped occasionally. Little details about his family life, siblings or even past lovers. But it was never from his own perspective, rather a dumbed down narration.

It wasn't too bad, but Roach longed to hear more. He wanted to know more about him. This mysterious man. A protector also. He was never truly alone anymore.

He'd realized after a few days that there was a lot that hadn't been shared. Not that he could judge. He couldn't share much either. That wasn't his fault. He needed more time to get better.

All he had was time. Not necessarily a good time, but enough time.

It soothed him for the time being. His mysterious friend would come share and protect him while he got better. Every day there were small improvements. Having someone there helped jog his brain function.

That was exactly what he needed. More than, even. He was going to be okay. This time he was sure of it. And this time, he knew his team would've been proud to see him heal. No matter how long it took.

And, although it took more time. A few days worth, his eyelids began to flutter. Gaining strength. Working on it.

By the end of the day, his eyes had opened. But the room was cold, no one to congratulate him. He shouldn't have been disappointed, but he could wait for his friend to return. He would.

[End]

#call of duty #cod mw2 #cod #cod mwii #cod 09 #09 roach #09 cod #graves #roachgraves #gravesroach #graves x roach

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feral-and-or-horny · 2 years

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So I have a not sexy question

Basically I sprained my ankle a few years ago, and I've had pain in it pretty much ever since. There's a constant tension and it's prone to giving out on me on bad days. On said bad days, I'll also get intense sharp pain that shoots halfway up my leg and makes it uncomfortable (but certainly not impossible) to walk.

Given the number of times I've almost fallen on stairs and while just walking on the street or at home, I've been wandering if it might help me to get a cane, just for the bad days.

The thing is, I know fuck all about mobility aids or even if that's the best option for me, and it feels weirdly selfish to think I need one for what is just a badly recovered sprained ankle, so if any of you use or know a lot about mobility aids, I'd love to hear your thoughts.

#ive actually sprained both ankles #but the right one is the bitch #it took most of my senior year to be able to walk without a brace of some kind #the pain has been bad the past few days and im having trouble on the stairs more often #I've tried doing exercises and stretches to strengthen the muscle since thats what my dad suggested #they feel nice but dont do much for relief #but yeah #i just want advice #my post

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bakugostiddies · 3 years

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Please god do a villain!au with Todoroki 🧎‍♂️ I usually don't like those but omfg with him it would totally work

Absolutely. This turned into a 4k word fic, but I am too attracted to this man to be ashamed.

Icarus | Todoroki Shouto x Reader

Warnings: eventual smut, temperature play, impact play, kind of dub-con but not really, degradation, praise, villain!au, corruption kink, no gendered terms but reader has a vagina and breasts.

NSFW | 18+

You had fucked up.

The room was dark and dank, eerily quiet save for the sound of your breathing. You looked around frantically, struggling to break loose from the bonds that held you. Shit. Shit. Shit.

As your eyes adjusted, you noted that there was a door ahead of you, a steel one with two deadbolt locks. You could feel a metal chair beneath you, rattling each time you moved even slightly. Your arms and legs were restrained by some sort of extremely strong fabric, but your mouth was unrestricted. Shit. Shit. What was Endeavor going to say? You were still just his sidekick, but this was your first big operation and you blew it completely. He would kill you when you got back, you just knew it. Endeavor took his temper out on you even when you did well, which meant you had no clue what he would do to you after a fuckup this bad. Shit.

Calm down, Y/N, you told yourself mentally. You were safe and unharmed, so maybe they just wanted information. You attempted to activate your teleportation quirk, but it didn’t work. What happened? You could feel yourself beginning to hyperventilate. You didn’t want to die here, after being kidnapped by some asshole who wouldn’t even fight you face to face.

“If you’re wondering why you can’t use your quirk, we just took it away for a while.”

A voice emerged from the shadows of the room, soft and almost velvety. You flinched. You hadn’t even realized someone was here. How could you have missed something so obvious? You felt like a shitty fucking hero.

“Who are you?” You said after a moment.

“Im surprised you didn’t recognize me. Well, I suppose it is a bit dark in here.”

And suddenly with the flick of a match, the voice became a man and the shadows around the room came to life. You swallowed harshly, all of the moisture in your mouth gone. The man stalked towards you with a sureness of a predator and stopped a few feet away from where you were sat in the metal chair. You looked up at his two toned hair, his strong, rugged figure in the flickering light. He wore a suit not too different from that of a hero’s, but he was tinged with scorch marks and small icy spikes. He looked like he was made of fire.

“Well?” He said it softly, but there was a hint of malice in his tone. “Who am I?”

You couldn’t speak, couldn’t breathe, your body almost paralyzed with fear. You knew who he was, of course you did. He was the one who helped blew up that building on the case you were on a month ago. He was the one who ambushed those (kind of sleazy) businessmen on their way to a cartel. He was the one who’s name was whispered in fear and awe on the nations’ streets. He was standing right in front of you, looking… bored?

The man sighed and fiddled with his match. “Hurry it up, hero, I don’t have all day.”

You spoke almost inaudibly. “You’re Icarus.”

He smiled slightly and a chill ran down your spine.

“See? That wasn’t too hard.”

He moved a bit closer to you and leaned down, his heterochromatic eyes almost level with your own. A single gloved hand moved to touch your chin with his thumb and index finger, moving your head from side to side with a feather-light touch. You hoped he couldn’t feel how scared you were, how your body seethed and rejected his very presence.

He finally released your face and you let out a sigh of relief. Icarus removed a single glove and touched his fingers gently to the match. It went out without smoke or a flicker, just a gentle hiss of frozen silence. The room was dark again, and he was moving, knocking on one of the walls.

“Turn on the lights, Red Riot.”

Your eyes widened. Red Riot? Wasn’t he the pro-hero who became a villain after Dynamight? Holy shit, was Dynamight here? Icarus interrupted your train of thought as the lights flickered on almost menacingly. You noted your surroundings carefully, seeing a bed in the corner, a small table, and another chair. The room looked less like a prison and more like a shitty motel suite.

“Do you know why you’re here?” He sat down in a chair across from you, leaning forward with his arms on his thighs and his legs spread slightly.

“I don’t know, Icarus.”

“Heres a hint; it has something to do with your boss.”

“Endeavor?”

You could feel bile rushing up your throat but you swallowed it down. The man before you clenched his jaw rigidly, as if it pained him to hear the name, but returned to normal so quickly you might have imagined it.

“You’re a bright one. Yes, hero, the very same. And do you have any idea on what he’s planning to do, say, sometime in the next six months?”

“I’m not telling you.”

“I wouldn’t be so sure about that.”

His tone was harsher now and he got out of his chair, moving closer to you again. You felt so small under his scrutiny, yet drawn to him like a moth to a flame, like Icarus himself to the sun.

“You see, I’m the only reason you’re alive. And if you want to keep your pretty little head-“ he circled around behind you- “you will listen to what I say.” His voice was barely a whisper in your ear, and your voice hitched in your throat.

“Do you understand?” He asked, straightening up.

“Yes.”

“Yes, sir.”

This was so goddamn humiliating, like your first day working with Endeavor all over again. With him, it was always a yes, sir, no, sir, please don’t make me work weekends, sir. But you swallowed your pride again and spat it out.

“Yes… sir.”

“A hero that obeys commands, what a find,” he said tauntingly. “But you could stand to lose that attitude.”

You wanted to slap him, to beat him up to the point of him being bruised and bloody and broken and then have him call you sir instead. God, if only you could teleport out of these fucking restraints-

“You’re thinking about using your quirk, correct?” It was like the asshole could read your mind.

“You can’t. Aizawa Sensei took yours away. You know him as Eraser-head.”

Fuck, Eraser-head was here too? All of the biggest villains were gathered here together and you- you could do nothing.

“So I’ll ask you again. What are Endeavor’s plans?”

At that moment, you made yourself a promise; that you would not let Icarus win. Little did you know that you would break that promise a thousand times over.

———-

Two days later:

———-

“Did Endeavor tell you about the attacks?”

“No, sir.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes, sir.”

“Come on now, you can tell me. I won’t hurt you.”

“...”

“Still no response? No matter, I have time to get it out of you.”

———-

Seven days later:

———-

“Still not talking, hero?

Look at that, the silent treatment.

I never thought an adult could be so petty. Just tell me where I can get more information.

Nothing?

Okay. Eat your soup, I can’t have you dying on me before you start talking.

And hero? You will have to open your mouth sooner or later.”

————

16 days later:

————

“Cut the bullshit, hero. We know he has plans for a big attack sometime during the next six months, so either Deku is wrong, or you are lying to my face. And Deku’s never wrong.”

“Well, I guess he’s wrong this time.”

“Then I guess we’ll return you since this has all just been one big mishap.”

“Really?”

“No. You aren’t the smartest, are you?”

“Maybe my brain will somehow recall something about this totally real attack you think is happening if you give me better food?”

“Don't be a brat, hero. I wouldn’t have gone through all this trouble if I had known you would be so inconvenient.”

“Whatever you say, sir.”

————

20 days later:

————

“Thanks for the bread, sir. It's quite an upgrade for a kidnapped person’s shitty meal.”

“You have low standards, hero.”

“Hey, why do you call me that?”

“What, hero?”

“Yeah. I have a name, you know. It's-“

“I know what your name is.”

“Okay, Jeez. If you knew it, then why not use it? Plus, I’m not even a hero yet. I’m still technically just a shitty sidekick who’s totally blown it on my first solo mission. I’m never going to be a pro at this rate, I might as well just give up.”

“I think you’re good.”

“What?”

“I said, you’re powerful and good at using your quirk. You have a lot of assets and it’s a shame your talent is wasted on Endeavor and the fools at the pro-hero agencies. It was difficult to actually catch you off guard, to get past your guards, to make sure your quirk was out of commission. And we are very strong.”

“Oh. Um, thanks, I guess?”

“Don’t thank me, hero. I’m just stating the obvious.”

————

25 days later:

————

“Why is your name Icarus?”

“It's not my real name.”

“Well no shit, dude. I'm asking why you chose it.”

“Icarus was a boy who followed his father’s instructions perfectly, but the moment he strayed from the path set out for him, he was punished, scalded by the flames of the sun, and cast away. But I think it was worth it for him in the end.”

“Why?”

“Because he was free. Because Icarus flew, and he was able to be his own person, even if it was just for a moment.”

“Do you feel like Icarus?”

“Most of the time I do, yes.”

“Sir?”

“Hmm?”

“Do you think that right now, you’re flying or cast away?”

“At this very moment, I think I am flying.”

“You know what? I think so too.”

————

29 days later:

————

“So what’s your real name, sir?”

“I can’t tell you that.”

“Why?”

“Classified. Also, I don’t need you to know my name.”

“But you know mine!”

“That's because you’re a prisoner, in case you’ve forgotten. You are almost unnervingly at ease here.”

“I’ve met three people so far and you have all given me no reason to fear.”

“Really? Not even Dynamight?”

“His hair makes me laugh. Plus, I can’t take airheads with overinflated egos seriously.”

“I agree with that assessment wholeheartedly.”

“You agree with my assessment- Sir, you sound like an old man.”

“I’m only three years older than you, you know.”

“Really? But you have all of these wrinkles?”

“I do not have wrinkles.”

“Fine, frown lines then.”

“That makes it sound like I don’t smile.”

“Well, you don’t!”

“It’s hard to find things to smile about.”

“God, you’re such an Edgelord.”

“What do you mean by that? hero, stop laughing.”

“You are definitely an old man.”

————

30 days later:

————

There had been a new development a couple of days ago in the kidnapping situation. You could feel your quirk again, which meant a lot of things. It meant you weren’t here against your will anymore, that you were free to go. Yet you remained. You still stayed in the same room with Icarus checking in on you in the afternoons. However, it had been given furniture- a desk and more comfortable chairs, a small rug on the floor, and thicker blankets. It was almost like you weren’t even a prisoner anymore. You could always leave, you reasoned. You could teleport out of here. Your quirk was back, and yet you stayed.

The other villains had taken a liking to you for reasons beyond your comprehension, but all it meant was that you were never short on company. Dynamight would burst in to complain about how Deku always got the best missions, Red Riot would bring in a deck of cards and the two of you would play go fish or bluff, even Deku would occasionally check up on you and make sure you were comfortable. But your afternoons? They were always set aside for your favorite visitor- Icarus.

...

“You haven’t answered my question about your name yet.”

You were sitting on the cot in your almost room, feet dangling off the edge and swinging back and forth. Icarus was sitting on his chair again, but lazily, with his arms locked behind his head and his legs precariously balanced against the edge of the bed.

“You haven’t answered any of my questions since you got here, so I don’t believe you have a right to complain.”

He was right, of course. He always was. But technically, he was equally at fault in this case. He was the one who sucked at interrogation, so much so that you took pity on his colleagues. They would have to deal with his lack of results.

You weren’t complaining, however. You enjoyed talking to him, looking at him, being in his presence. It was a stupid crush to have, but you didn’t care. He was beautiful to look at, the way his biceps curled behind his head, the lean toughness of his body, the sheer strength he possessed. Your eyes trailed down his sprawling figure, tracing each indent and dip and curve of his skin in your mind.

“Are you finished staring at me?” His words jerked you out of your stupor and you felt heat rushing to your cheeks.

“I-I wasn’t- I didn’t-“ you babbled until he stopped you.

“Don’t worry, it’s only natural to find me… appealing. You haven’t spent time with anyone else for a very long time.”

You almost screamed on the spot, burying your face in your hands. You peeked out between your splayed fingers to look at him, seemingly unbothered save for the slight pink tinge hidden beneath his bangs.

“How can you say things like that, sir?”

“Like what?”

“Uhm, never mind.”

You wanted the ground to swallow you up whole. He was so, so dense, it was a wonder he even noticed you basically eye-fucking him. You felt the cot creak beside you and a slight dip in the weight. Icarus had seated himself beside you on the small bed and was looking at you with eyes full of concern.

“I did not mean to shame you for your gaze, hero.”

He said it gently and kindly. It would be almost romantic if not for the situation you were in. You remained silent, so he continued.

“I believe it is normal for you to feel this way towards someone who has been in such close quarters with you for so long a time. You should be glad that you still have these urges.”

You suppressed a groan. This felt like having the sex talk with your parents all over again. “Sir-“

“-in fact, everyone feels them!”

He was rambling, oh god you needed him to shut up-

“I feel them for you all the time, and I’m completely normal.”

And suddenly, the air changed between you into something charged and heated.

“You… have urges around me?” You wanted to hear him say it again, just once, but he turned away from you, tensing up and rising from his seat awkwardly. His face was stony and his hair covered his eyes like bicolored curtains. There suddenly was space between the two of you, some insurmountable gap that could not be bridged.

“I apologize deeply. I have misspoken.”

“Sir, wait, you don’t have to leave!” You cried out as he made his way to the door.

“But I do. You don’t deserve this treatment, and it is cruel of me to hurt you in this manner.”

And that was when something broke within you, something that had been holding you together this whole time.

“No.”

He turned around, almost scared by the anger in your voice.

“This is when you decide to stop? You have literally kidnapped me, interrogated me, left me in all but isolation, for a fucking month. You took me from everything that I wanted and everyone that I love and yet, and YET, I wanted you. Goddamn it, I still want you. I don’t understand why. So don’t apologize to me for misleading me or whatever bullshit excuse you’ve decided to use as a sheild. Apologize for everything you have done to me, you fucking cunt.”

And then your voice broke and you could feel the tears rushing to your eyes, your vision turning glassy as your chest heaved with sobs. You could feel yourself slipping away, your breaths growing shallow and your body shaking. Why did you stay here? Why didn’t you leave when you could? What was the point, if Icarus didn’t even want you?

And then, suddenly, you felt warm.

Icarus, sir, whoever the fuck he was, was holding you tightly in his arms, head dipped down into the crook of your neck, his arms enveloping you in his warmth. He was your sun. And he could scorch you again and again but you would still be drawn to him.

Your panic died down and you wept for the first time since you arrived. The two of you sank down to the floor, his apologies muttered swiftly and quietly against your skin. You were in his lap now, your body curled up into a ball in his embrace, one of his palms cupping your face. He turned you slightly towards him.

His eyes were wet too, but only slightly, and his fingers were thumbing at the tears on your cheeks. One of them got close to the corner of your mouth and slowly but surely, with almost childlike fascination, he pushed the tip of it in. Your tongue ran along the edges of it, the salty taste leaving you wanting more.

And slowly, Icarus leaned forward, his lovely face the closest you had ever been to him. He removed his finger from your mouth and kissed you instead, gently, and then all at once.

It was a furious kiss, on that burned and heated a cold room. You could feel teeth and tongue and hot tears, a clashing finale of a kiss. It was against your lips that he murmured his name.

“My name is Todoroki Shouto.”

He said it softly, leaving your lips to place open-mouthed kisses on your neck that left you moaning and had wetness pooling between your legs. But suddenly, your eyes snapped open.

“Todoroki? As in-“

He kissed you again to silence as you felt the questions racing through your head. Endeavor was Todoroki Enji, right? But he had never mentioned having kids to you? Was Shouto lying to you? Why did he want to destroy his father? And how were you-

“Shh.” Shouto tapped his forehead to yours. “Let me take care of you.”

Fuck it. The questions could wait.

Shouto reached down to pull off your shirt and groaned at the sight of you. He looked at you in wonder.

“You- hero, you make me feel like I’m on fire.” He said it with such sincerity that you nearly cried again were it not for his palming of your breasts, his burning fingertips tweaking your nipples and making you whimper slightly.

“I am so sorry. I’m sorry for everything I put you through-“ you were placed on the bed- “I’m sorry for taking you away-“ He was kneeling, fucking kneeling, between your legs- “but most of all-“ fuck, he placed hot kisses on your stomach as he pulled your pants down-

“I’m sorry I didn’t have the courage to do this sooner.”

And with that, his tongue was lapping at you through your panties, new ones that the villains had provided for you, with reckless abandon. Your hands tugged at his hair and you heard his hum of a chuckle as a vibration on your pussy. There was pressure, so much pressure from him against you, like nothing you had felt before, and when he finally pushed your panties aside, they were soaking wet.

Shouto looked up at you for a moment, meeting your gaze with his own, eyes sparkling with desire. And then, without a word, He pressed a small kiss to your clit that had you jolt slightly before he dove in. He had you moaning within seconds, his tongue lapping at your folds before swirling around your clit. You felt yourself reaching a climax- it was too good and too fast and too much and- Shouto pushed a finger inside you and crooked it slightly and you began humping your hips upwards as he nursed at your clit. Your climax was swift and powerful, but he didn’t move throughout it. Even as you came down from your high, his mouth planted on you and his finger gently pumped in and out. Shouto added one more easily, and you swore you saw stars when he began thrusting. He fucked you with his fingers, marveling at your reactions, the sounds you made, your pussy pulling him in.

“Fuck, hero, you’re so wet. Is this all for me? Have you gotten off to me fucking you like this in this bed?”

You moaned loudly and Shouto removed his fingers, leaving you feeling empty. There was a dark look in his eyes that you remembered from the first day you arrived.

“Answer me, hero.”

You nodded your head slightly, but that wasn’t enough for him. He rose to his feet and without warning, he smacked your clit. You squealed loudly from the stimulation, the pain turning into pleasure quickly. His palm was cold as ice, and you squirmed dumbly against his touch.

“Answer the question.”

“Yes, yes, sir, I’ve thought about you fucking me everywhere in this room-“

Shouto’s palm reverted back to his normal temperature and you sighed with relief as he cupped your pussy and rubbed it gently.

“What a good, slutty, hero. Have you touched yourself when you think about me?”

You blushed slightly and hid your face behind your hands. God, this was embarrassing. Of course you had gotten off to the thought of him, but to say it out loud was a different feeling altogether.

You took too long and Shouto spanked your clit again. You let out a shriek and tried to wriggle away from him, but he just pulled you closer.

“I want to see your face, doll.” You whimpered at the new pet name. “Now, have you touched yourself when you think about me?”

“Y-yes sir-”

“Y-yes s-sir-‘ so shy for someone who wants a villain to fuck your hero pussy into behaving.” he palmed himself over his trousers, letting out a little huff of pleasure. “I want to, shit, want to fucking ruin you.”

Shouto pulled you to him as your hips thrust desperately against the air.

“Yes sir! Want you to fuck me, want you inside me-“

He groaned and humped into you, the metal of his belt buckle catching against your clit and making you flinch with overstimulation. Shouto noticed and pulled you closer as he stood at the side of the bed, your back flat against the mattress and your hips arched upwards to meet his bulge. He rutted into you again, forcing your pussy to kiss the metal of the buckle once more. You felt your body seizing up, your orgasm building inside you, and Shouto, with a sadistic gleam in his eyes, pressed his buckle harder against you.

The longer it stayed there, the more it heated up, almost more pain than pleasure, until Shouto wrapped your legs around his waist and thrust against you. There was a wet patch on his pants and you kept shrinking away from the burning hot metal that teased at your clit.

“You have no idea what you do to me, fucking hell-” He managed to spit out, “I’m not even inside you and you’re dripping all over me like a bitch in heat-”

He continued to hump you roughly, each time more forceful than the last until you came loudly as Shouto pushed your body into the belt buckle. “No more, Shouto, please, no more- its too much-”

“Too much for you already, hero? I haven’t even come yet. And you- how many times have you reached your climax today?”

You almost screamed with frustration- how were you supposed to know, you didn't fucking keep track-

“I can tell you, brat.” He grabbed your waist and flipped you easily onto your stomach. You were completely exposed to him now, unable to see his face, out of control entirely.

“You have come three fucking times. That doesn’t feel very fair to me, does it? Do you want my cum inside you?”

You buried your face into your pillow, and he pushed down slightly on your lower back, creating an arch. You startled when he teased his cockhead against the surface of your pussy, wetness coating his dick.

“Shouto, I want your cum-”

His palm came down hard on your asscheek, forcing a gasp out of you as he rubbed it softly with his palms. He leaned closer towards you, his voice whispering in your ear.

“Then beg.”

And, with your voice muffled by the pillow, you followed his orders.

“Sir, fuck me, please, please- I need you inside me, I need you to cum for me, please- Shouto, Daddy-“

Your begging got cut off by him thrusting into you. You screamed and he shushed you gently, holding your hand with his own. “Do you think you can take the rest of it?”

The rest of it? There was more? You looked over your shoulder and nearly passed out. You had barely taken half of his length and you were already completely filled up. But… you wanted to feel him, all of him, so you muttered a soft “yes.”

“Okay, baby, take it easy…” he eased a couple more inches into you before you tightened up, your pussy clenching and back arching as he slid in. “Oh fuck,” Shouto groaned. “Do that one more time and I won’t be able to hold back.”

And of course, you grinned. And proceeded to clench yourself around his length again.

Shouto nearly growled. “I warned you, hero.”

And then, he thrust into you. Hard. And he kept going, pumping in and out of your body like a machine, his thumb rubbing against your clit and his other hand on your leg. You are screaming and crying and babbling on about how good his cock is, how good you felt, how this is what you wanted. And Shouto? The cocky bastard was gloating.

“Look at you, such a good slut on my cock. Are you crying? God, thats so fucking hot. I’ve got a cute little hero crying on my dick. I know you can use your quirk now, Hero, I know Aizawa sensei returned it to you. Did you stay because you wanted me to fuck you like this? Did you want to be corrupted?”

“Yes,” you’re almost incoherent, “yes, ruin me, make me a villain, I wanna be a villain!”

Shouto slows his pace for a moment. “You would leave Endeavor? Leave the agency?”

“Yes, I would, Shouto, fuck, anything for you-”

He slapped the inside of your thigh before resuming his pace again. You had never felt so full before, his dick reaching places within you that you didn’t even know existed. His palms gripped the sides of your hips so tightly you thought you might bruise, tiny burn marks already forming in the place of his fingertips. You were close, so close, your tears and drool spilling over your pillow and your body limp and helpless before him. Shouto felt you clenching around him, completely spent.

“Do you want to cum again? What a greedy pussy you have, hero, a needy little cumdump.”

You couldnt get words out, croaking out your mumbled yeses and nodding your head vigorously. He pounded even harder into you and reached around your thighs to your clit, rubbing it in tiny circles as he fucked you. You could feel your climax building for the fourth time and you twitched pathetically beneath him. Finally, Shouto pinched your clit slightly and you came with a wail of his name.

He fucked you through your orgasm, but he was slower now, his strokes hitting you deeper than before.

“Do, fuck- do you want me to cum in your pretty pussy?”

Shouto was hunched over you, his head resting on your back and his arms caging you in so that he was all that surrounded you. His breath came out in cold pants and his thrusts got more and more erratic as he neared his own climax.

“Please, I need you to want this, I need you- shit, I...” You could hear the desperation in his voice, how he yearned for you, and you the words fell out of your mouth before you could stop them.

“Yes, Daddy! Want you to come inside, fucking breed me-”

“Oh fuck, Y/n-”

And then Shouto came with a groan, his cum splattering your insides with warmth. He pressed kisses to your spine, trailing his fingers down your arms as he turned you to the side. He didn’t pull out of you as he did so, causing you to groan slightly. Finally, he released you and gently removed his dick from where you were connected. Some of his cum oozed out and he pushed it back in with his fingers, trapping his seed within you forever.

The pair of you laid together side by side for a moment, Shouto’s fingers tracing your body with slow, lingering touches as if he was afraid you would shatter the moment he pressed too hard.

You were the one who broke the silence. “ You said my real name.”

“I did. I love your name, Y/n. It just felt... wrong to say it when you were my prisoner. It was easier to distance myself from you if I just thought of you as a random hero. But you’re more than that now.”

You stared straight into his eyes, your hands reaching up to run gently through his silky hair. “I’m not leaving, Shouto. I’m never leaving this place. And I’m not just staying for you- I like it here. The villains like me, and they respect me. You aren’t bad people- if anything, the rest of the world has been far worse than anything or anyone I’ve faced here. It feels like I’m finally home.”

Shouto gathered you into his arms and pressed you tightly to his side. “You will be mine now,” he said almost matter-of-factly.

“And you will be mine as well.” You planted a small kiss to his nose that made his eyelids flutter and a slight blush crawl onto his cheeks.

“You deserve the world, Y/n,” he said hesitantly. “And I am not even close to being good enough for you.”

Shouto’s eyes were downcast and you could see the doubt creeping in. You gently pressed your fingers to his furrowed brows and soothed the wrinkles away. “Don’t do that.”

“Do what?” He asked.

“Put yourself down. You are more than enough for me. And Shouto? I don’t need the world. I already reached my sun.”

He smiled at you then, with no underlying malice, no undertone of darkness. It was blinding. Goddamn it, you would do anything to see that smile for the rest of your life.

“That was terribly cheesy, Y/n.”

“Shut up, Shouto.”

He kissed you, and you could feel the butterflies in your stomach fluttering up a storm. Todoroki Shouto was your sun, and you were his. And even if you both melted away under your flames, it would have been worth the loss.

-Bonus-

2 weeks later:

“So, uhm, Y/n, Todoroki, we were reviewing the footage from Y/n’s old room the other day. While we’re all happy you two are *ahem* together now, maybe you can display your... appreciation for one another in a more private place?” Kirishima was blushing profusely and refused to meet your eyes. Suddenly, it clicked for you.

“WE WERE BEING RECORDED?”

“And?”

“SHOUTO!”

“Ah yes, how horrible and violating, I feel as though I have been exposed indecently without my permission for the perverted public to see. They will be unable to contain themselves when faced with my immeasurably sexy figure.”

“You are NOT being helpful.”

“I beg to differ, Y/n. Kirishima, is there any way you can send me a copy of the tape-”

-----------

A/N: I hope you like this and please let me know if I should do a villain!UA series because I only write under the influence of peer pressure.

#todoroki x you #shouto smut #mha smut #shouto x y/n #shouto x reader #villain!shouto #todoroki shouto #shouto todoroki #bnha smut #bnha fluff #mha imagines #bnha imagines #shouto fluff #shouto angst #nee talks

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warmau · 3 years

Text

☆ko-fi au: nostoligic summer romance!au hanbin find other ikon aus here

the sun burns your shoulders and the skin of your heel. you stand on it and bear the pain as you look down at hanbin, whose face is covered by one of those three-dollar nude magazines

"get up"

"can't you see i am asleep?"

the wind blows some small wisps of hair around your face - somewhere in the distance, you hear junhoe chase a beachball down the shore as jiwon yells for him to race back to the rest of your friends

"hanbin, you are not wasting your summer spread out like this, not doing anything. you are not a piece of seaweed."

"you sound like my mother"

you nudge his elbow with your toe

"did you finish your graduate school application?"

"yeah, im working on it right now looking at -"

he lifts the magazine off his face and flips to a random page, turning it around to face you

averting your gaze you make a sound of disappointment

"the deadline already passed, the school is giving you an extension because they know you'll be a great addition to the program. does that not mean anything to you?"

hanbin lets the next gust of wind pull the magazine from his weak grip and float it pathetically to his left

the silence is his answer in a way and search his face, now that you can see it properly, for anything else

his dark eyes are void and highlighted by a shadow of darkness.

his lips are chapped.

the scratch he got from face planting in the public pool's changing room last weak is still sitting on his cheek only half-hidden under a kids bandage

"hanbin, this is your future"

you whisper it - like it's your future too

maybe because somewhere subconsciously buried in both your chests. you both know it is.

"i know"

you turn around and take his apathy as the final stake in the ground

after years of caring about him, of one-sided adoration hidden behind affectionate and worried friendship

you have learned the hanbin is more stubborn than an ox - especially when he gives up

when you find yourself walking home back alone - the sun still blasting an uncomfortable heat onto your skin - you try to pretend the overwhelming feeling of crying isn't itching its way out

i can't help him forever, especially if he doesn't want to help himself

hanbin calls three days later

"do you want to go fishing with me and jinhwan?"

"fishing?"

"jinhwan said he's trying new hobbies."

you are silent for a second, a part of you wants to explode.

what are you talking about fishing! the application asks you to finish an entire song. to show your effort! who gives a fuck about fishing!

the other part of you is dormant. uninterested.

jinhwan is already a successful editor, maybe he can help hanbin find the right path better than i can.

"no thanks."

you hang up first, something you've never done with hanbin

you're both balanced in that sense - you are usually soft and forgiving and never want to hurt anyone's feelings. you just want to keep helping and helping until there's nothing left of you.

hanbin is more strict - people have to prove themselves to him otherwise he cuts them off without a qualm.

you get a text a few minutes later from jinhwan:

are you and your husband fighting?

my husband? i didn't know i finally married that millionaire from my dreams.

haha im talking about hanbin

you purse your lips. everyone in the world wants 'us' to happen.

no. we're not fighting. he doesn't want to go to grad school.

so?

your fingers hover over the keyboard. right, so what? not like it's your business to run your friend's life.

but that's not it. something is so wrong. hanbin will work on music till his eyes and ears bleed. why is it that composing one little thing for this application that is just going to better his life so hard? why is he so against it?

leaving jinhwan without an answer, you throw yourself on your bed and tell yourself that you have to break this habit

you've been putting hanbin over yourself since you were both young

getting in trouble with him when in reality you'd done nothing but try to stop him from doing something stupid

staying up with him when he'd go through bouts of bad insomnia

shoving your own secrets and pain down to comfort him about his own

you have your own life, goal, and dreams

it's your fault for somehow always imagining that hanbin would want to be part of them

"can you please talk to hanbin again."

jiwon, junhoe, and donghyuk take up the space in your car as you pull into the parking lot of the local mall

you turn the key in the ignition, jiwon and junhoe are sitting far apart in the back seat, still managing to look cramped and donghyuk looks at you sympathetically from the passenger side

"im not avoiding him."

"you're totally avoiding him."

again. you want to explode and also say nothing at all. why are there expectations on you as his friend and not the other way around?

"have you guys asked him about his grad school application? you all have your futures planned - and he's lost."

jiwon pops his bubble gum at the worst possible moment and junhoe looks awkward without an answer to come out of his big mouth.

donhyuk puts a hand on your shoulder

"he didn't just give up, you know."

you snort, "it looked that way to me."

opening the door, you step out and tell the little voice in your head that wonders out loud if hanbin needs your help to please shut up

it's two days before the extension deadline. you know this because it pops up as a reminder on your google calendar and you grumble as you delete it.

having his deadlines on my schedule like he's my goddamn boyfriend or something.

you want to enjoy your summer before you go back to school too, so you dig out a big t-shirt and bathing suit to take to the pool

only when you sling the shirt over yourself do you pick at the worn fabric and groan

this is hanbin's isn't it? the coffee stain at the bottom is totally his signature.

someone knocks on the door of your room, half expecting a family member you open it without caution and nearly throw it shut when you see hanbin in the frame

the only thing that stops you from doing so is the look of utter desperation on his face

"hanbin? when is the last time you slept?"

he breaths through his nose and mumbles maybe three or four days ago

you pull him into your room and shut the door, you try to examine him for any other signs of fatigue but he looks otherwise the same

skinny, slightly hunched over and more beautiful than you could ever say out loud in fear of dying on the spot of embarrassment

"is it your insomnia? do you need to go to the doc-"

"i can't compose the song."

you wave your hand to dismiss the sentence, "that doesn't matter right now. you have to take care of your health first and-"

"i can't stop thinking about you."

suddenly irritated with his tone - you snap under the weight of it all

"you cannot blame your inability to finish this application or giving up or not sleeping on me. just because we haven't spoken in a bit-"

"that's not what i meant."

you cross your hands over your chest, you can feel a fire unlike any other of anger lick up your spine

if he is going to pin this on me somehow im going -

"i love you."

"are you crazy?"

you blurt out your words before you really even hear his own. you were expecting him to start spinning some elaborate tale about how not seeing you or you avoiding him had somehow damaged him further

but this is hanbin, and you admit that never has he put the blame on you without you taking it on willingly

so you blink past the initial shock and ask him to repeat himself

he straightens his bad posture, looks at you and sees past the surface level

"i love you. it's making everything else a blur, so i need to tell you."

"you- you should have told me before."

"i thought you'd slap me." he laughs weakly, but it is forced "or that you'd think i was lying to get you off my back about the application."

you soften, your hands uncross and you drop the defensive look on your face

hanbin runs a line from your eyes to your knees

"are you wearing my shirt?"

"i love you too."

the spell of dread that seems to have clung itself into every nook and cranny of hanbin's existence seems to be exorcised when you say those words to him

like a light has entered the part of him that has been pitch black for weeks now

he doesn't kiss you right after you say it, he kisses you two days later when he submits his application with a song he spent thirteen hours on creating

the song is about that light, the kind of easy feeling of being put into the right puzzle with the right person

that's when he kisses you - when he meets the deadline - and you throw your arms around him and the world starts rotating in the right direction again

summer is still left over for you two to enjoy, you rush around the beach with your friends, you go fishing with jinhwan who decides he hates it at some point, and you spend whatever minute you can with hanbin

even if you're with others, your hands are always glued together. you look at him when you think he's distracted. he looks at you regardless, unashamed of the teasing that comes your way

'it finally happened! they realized they're perfect for each other!'

and when you're alone with your legs tangled with his and hanbin's nervous, soft mouth on the slope of your back. that same uncapped love bursts from both of you.

when summer dwindles and hanbin gets an email about his application

he celebrates by pressing you up against the desk and nearly toppling his laptop over

"can i ask you something?" he plays with a strand of your hair after as the sweat sticks you two together "were you so adamant about me getting into grad school because you love me or-"

you rest your chin on his chest and sigh

"yes, but because it'll help you achieve your dreams. and it'll give you a future that's stable. a future that i want for you and-"

you get shy, tucking your face into his skin

"and?"

he asks, but you just kiss him instead.

when it's ten years after - and hanbin has become successful in ways he had never dreamed

you are successful in your own right too

you're equals and your lives are full of each other and your work and everything else

and hanbin realizes when he's looking at rings by himself after work one day what you wanted to say all that time ago

you wanted him to have a good future so that it could tie in with yours

he reminds himself to ask you when he gets home, by what age had you already planned the wedding?

he expects you will stick your tongue out at him when he does, and you do, but he doesn't expect you to cry for half an hour when he pulls the little box out of his pocket.

#nostalgia au #hanbin au #hanbin scenarios #b.i au #b.i scenarios #hanbin #b.i #ikon au #ikon imagines #ikon scenarios #ko fi commissions #slightly suggestive

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junisfics · 3 years

Text

addressing this post — 06/08/21

tw: mentions of: eating disorders, "skinnyphobia", fatphobia, sexual assault, rape, racism.

note: it is very probable that i may add things onto this post as things progress, so please be patient with me. i'm going to open up my ask box to be open to criticism, but i will not be responding to any that aren't questions.

to provide context.

the origins of this post has come from an earlier thread found here. in this thread, said user created some sort of “blocklist” with a list of tagged users and what they’ve done wrong. in said post, it’s stated that i defend individuals who write noncon/dubcon, which is true. as a victim of sexual assault and rape i find rape fiction as a form of a way i gain my control back, but thats besides the point.

in response to this post, i created a list of things that ive also done that could be seen as problematic which you’ll be able to see if you scroll a little lower. in this list, i disclose a few things; some of which are sarcastic, and others which are not. it is my mistake that i did not include tone indicators to differentiate the sort.

i thought that it was okay to make a joke out of this situation, which i truly shouldnt have thought. my intention was to make the “victims” of that post feel better about their inclusion in it by joking about the subject. i didn’t intitally take this post as something serious, which is why i was so open about joking about it. i always saw block lists as something petty or something to joke about, which is why i joke about it.

racism.

(technically ethnicity, but mentions of me being white were also brought up)

in this list, i start with the fact that ive called my friend callie (who is mexican) a b*aner. which is a slur used against mexican people. i am mexican. im 75% mexican, as an estimate, for i do not know my full history due to the fact that im adopted. but also, even though i am mexican, i am decently white passing depending on context. on days where i straighten my hair, im white. but on days where i wear my hair naturally, its very hard to tell what race/ethnicity i am.

as a mexican person, i have faced discrimination both societally and systematically for being mexican. obviously, since im white majority of the time, societal prejudice towards me isnt as great as systematic prejudice is. but there have been moments where i have been called slurs for my appearence (whether or not those slurs applied to me)

given the fact that i have been derogatorily called a b*aner, i believed that i had every right to say this word given the fact that it has been used against me, and because i have been mexican.

im so incredibly sorry if my use of the slur has brought hurt to anyone. although that was not my intention to hurt anyone, i realize that i have hurt people in the process and im incredibly sorry for doing so.

also, the fact that ive brought race/ethnicity up has been heavily brought into question. the only reason i included the fact that ive said “racist” things towards my friend callie was to show that i was being sarcastic with my following statement that im “skinnyphobic”

“skinnyphobia”

this was one of the situations where i am at fault for not using a tone indicator. i am completely aware that skinnyphobia does not exist, i am also completely aware that hurt that skinny people may feel in society is no where near the oppression fat people feel.

the reason i included this as a bullet point was because me and my friend group have a running joke about being “skinnyphobic” due to the amount of hate my fat friends have recieved from skinny girls both online and in their pasts. we all know that skinnyphobia isnt real. this is similar to how we also joke that we are “racist to white people”. we also know that racism towards white people does not exist, the same way that “skinnyphobia” does not exist. our joking about this was purely satirical and ironic.

i realize that ive hurt many of my fat AND skinny followers by the inclusion of this poor joke and im incredibly sorry for doing so. it is completely my fault for not including a tone indicator, but it is also my fault for thinking that this would be an okay joke to make.

fatphobia.

next in the list of things was my inclusion that i used to run a thinspo blog. a while ago, before i wrote fanfiction, this blog used to be a thinspo blog. i have been very open about the fact that i used to be very mentally ill, had a very bad eating disorder, and that this blog used to be a thinspo blog. since then, this blog has been completely wiped of all content including any sort of thinspo or pro eating disorder content.

i believed that it was okay to joke about the fact that i formerly used to run a thinspo blog because of the fact that ive changed so much since then. im absolutely embarassed of the person i used to be and how pro-ed i used to be as well. although i am still healing, and i still have trouble with my eating habits, i am in no way near as unhealthy or mentally ill as i was then.

it came to my attention through this post that someone who was fat was deeply offended by my joking about how i used to run a thinspo blog. i addressed it in that post, which you can read if you want to.

that post and my response was taken as a joke, i never intended my response to come off as a joke, it was completely genuine. i believed that i had every right to joke about my traumatic past given the fact that it was mine, but given that, i had failed to take into consideration on how my jokes about my past may effect other people.

i am terribly sorry if me joking about a thinspo blog offended you. eating disorders arent funny, thinspo blogs arent funny, and using my own experience with an eating disorder shouldnt be used as an excuse to joke about one.

also, on the topic of eating disorders, the eating disorder i specifically had (anorexia) is heavily centered around fatphobia. societal desires to be skinny, as well as my own desire to be found pretty in the eyes of other people, drew me to developing an eating disorder that caused me to be severly underweight.

in my past, i see how my desire to be skinny was fatphobic. i absolutely understand that and im so incredibly sorry if my experience has brought anyone pain or harm.

since that time when i had anorexia, ive healed immensely. ive learned to love and accept all bodies and all people. even though my actions in the past have had fatphobic intentions, i can gurantee that i am not fatphobic now. ive tried my best to be an active advocate against fatphobia, to speak out against the biases towards skinny people in fanfiction.

i can claim everything i want, but claims can do nothing for you, and your opinion on me heavily relies on my actions. but my actions have shown otherwise, and in the process i have hurt many of my fat followers by the revelation of me previously owning a thinspo blog.

in the end, ive hurt many people today both intentionally and unintentionally and im truly sorry for my actions. i should have realized that my experiences with such topics should not be taken the same as others experiences, and my comfortability with jokes is not the same as others comfortability.

#tw: fatphobia #tw: discourse #tw: eating disorder #tw: rape #pinned post

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iliveformanyfictionalcharacters · 2 years

Text

The Sting in his Heart

Fandom: Grease

Word Count: 1,400

Summary: Putzie’s been bullied his entire life, it’s been getting worse and worse with every school year. But now that he has four overprotective friends on his side, whats going to happen to those bullies?

Warnings: Cussing, Violence

(2/2) I thought I posted this and just saw that I posted this to my drafts, Im crying right now.

“What the fuck!”

Putzie whipped his head to look behind him upon hearing his best friend yell out in surprise. Danny stood in front of the rest of the t-birds all of them starring in shock, anger radiating between all of them.

Putzie held his hand against his cheek, pain and heat spreading through his face as well as embarrassment. He never wanted his friends to know this was happening; he didn't know how they would react. He would never say it out loud but his biggest fear was that none of his friends would care, that maybe when they found out that they wouldn't do anything. No matter how much he told himself that was ridiculous he couldn’t help his anxieties.

“Putz…”

He didn't say anything, he didn't look at the group of boys behind him. He stood in the same spot. Holding his face looking down in shame.

“Doody, get him away from here.” He heard Danny speak before he felt a hand wrap around his upper arm, he flinched.

“Come on Putz,” he said, pulling him slightly. Putzie followed while not looking up from his feet they walked past the group of boys, Doody led him into the school’s nursing office.

Danny turned back to the boy, ‘Robert’, and stalked towards him. He stupidly hadn't thought it would be a good idea to run by now, still standing alone in the middle of an evergrowing semi circle behind him. Sonny and Kenickie followed next to Danny as they all walked to him.

The faces of the crowd were not of surprise, they all knew this day would come eventually, but rather horror. Knowing how close the group was and how much they all cared for each other, they knew this fight could only end bloody but still no one made an effort to stop it.

Danny spoke first.

“W-Why the fuck- “ His voice shook with anger, “-did you think you could lay a hand on him, on any of us, and get away with it? What made you THAT was OK!”

By now it was clear that Robert understood just how much trouble he put himself into, but still he stood there with a scared braindead look on his face.

Kenickie made the first move. He stepped forward swiftly and swung his fist the contact making this awful cracking sound. Robert stumbled back and was quickly pushed to the ground by Kenickie and punched again in the same place.

The other boys stayed back for now seeing as there was only one Robert.

Robert got his bearings for a moment and pushed Kenickie off of him swinging, he managed to get a hit right in his jaw.

Now the boys were both on the ground hitting each other over and over, almost seeming to unintentionally take turns doing so. The crowd that was previously behind Robert started cheering not paeticly for either one of them but more so for their sick sense of satisfaction in seeing the two boys fight.

The two T-Birds left waiting to intervene if things started to get too bad, particularly for their friend.

As things started to get worse and worse with more blood and even torn clothes Robert's friends seem to have realized that they would have to help him. One of them stalked towards Sonny and another towards Danny ready to fight but before they could start anything they both got a right hook to their jaw. This started a whole fiasco of punching and blood with yelling that got louder and louder. So loud a few people were surprised no teachers had come out to see what was happening yet, or why there were so many students skipping class.

Almost as if that thought had manifested, not long after Danny and Sonny had started to fight the other boys a group of teachers, including the principal of the school, walked out to see what was happening.

A few of them broke up the fight taking a few minutes to do so as the boys didn't want to stop. Robert and his friends were worse off, blood flowing from many places on them and their clothes torn up in many places. The nurse told them she wouldn't be surprised if at least one of them had a broken bone.

Danny, Sonny and Kenickie also had blood trickling from a few places and their clothes were ruffled up. Still they were significantly less beat up than the other group.

With the arrival of the teachers most of the crowd had snuck off, back to class leaving the group of boys and teachers alone with a few stragglers who would be getting detention for skipping class.

“What is going on? What has gotten into you boys?” the principal, Mr. Higgins,asks.

Roberts' group of friends started firing off excuses while the other stayed silent the time being.

“Wait-W- STOP TALKING!” Higgins shouted, clearly fed up with the three boys yelling over one another. The rest of the teachers had gone back to their respective classrooms to resume class, leaving him alone with all the boys.

“Now I don’t know all of what happened here, but clearly you all had a pretty serious fight. What we are going to do is send you all to the nurses office and wait for your parents to get here. I don't want either of you groups to speak too one another until you get into my office. Now go. And no more fighting!”

Putzie had been in the nurse's office with Doody for the past fifteen minutes, he felt awful. Not just because of the swelling bruise on his cheek but because of the fact that he knew the others were out there fighting right now and getting hurt because of him. He didn't want that he never wanted them to get hurt because of him.

After 15 minutes of silence, Doody finally spoke up.

“Hey umm, Putz, how long has this been going on?” He sat next to him in one of the chairs leaning down on his thighs and looking at Putzie.

He was reluctant to answer at first knowing that none of them were going to be very happy, but after a while he realized that nine of them were very happy now. But none were angry at him but angry at the people who were doing this to him.

“Well since the beginning of school really but it never got physical until around third grade maybe.” He was still looking down.

Doody grabbed his arm “Listen to me, you didn't deserve that. None of it. Why didn't you tell anyone, any of us?”

The door opened roughly and 6 boys came tumbling through it. Putzie almost stood up when he saw Robert but Robert and his friend just glared at him before walking into the separate room. The rest of his friends coming to sit in the chairs next to him.

He saw the confusion in their eyes so he continued, telling them about his insecurities and why he never told them what was going on. How he thought they would make fun of him or even how he just didn't want them getting hurt because of him.

They all sat in silence while they listened to him vent and finally open up about how he felt.

“Putz,” Danny started, “We need you to know that we could never be angry at you for being harassed, especially for no reason other than their sick entertainment.”

Kenickie added, “And we’d never make fun of you for it either we’d beat the fuck out of who ever did it. We would never tease you for this.”

Sonny, 'Don't worry about us getting hurt, it's completely worth it anyways they got it worse in the end.” They chuckled a bit at that, knowing it was true.

Doody ended with “Never be afraid to tell if something like this happens again, we are all like family we never want you in pain.”

After their little speech the nurse came out to inspect them before sending them to the main office, where most of the parents were waiting with scowls.

But none of them regretted what they did because now they knew that Putzie would never hold something like that again. And Putzie knew that he had a family behind him to help him whenever he needed.

#Grease #grease imagine

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princessamericachavez · 4 years

Text

Fjorester Talk in episode 117

also known as Sofía goes buckwild and overanalyzes 10 minutes of conversation and body language.

ready?

Ok, first of all, Fjord looks so worried from the get go as he asks Jester if Lucien/Cree was speaking to her directly.

And when she confirms it he does this little grumpy sigh

He no like it. No like it at all.

Fjord: Does it seem like he’s keying in on you in particular?

LISTEN GUYS

I’VE BEEN WAITING FOR LIKE TWO WEEKS

HOPING FJORD WOULD GET PROTECTIVE OVER JESTER CONSTANTLY GETTING SCRIED ON/MESSAGED BY LUCIEN BUT I DIDN’T THINK TRAVIS WAS ACTUALLY GOING TO DELIVER

AND HE DIIIIIID

Ok anyway he goes on about how when they see someone else scrying it’s usually just a representation of the spell and wonders if Lucien is more powerful and therefor can see the person

and then he makes a pause mid-argument

because Jester makes this face and he realizes this is upsetting her, so he quickly backtracks trying to reassure her.

Fjord: I’m sure it’s just coincidence but...

and here’s where the idea comes and god how long has he been thinking about this???

Fjord: since we��re not in the sea... would you... want to wear this?

YES HELLO DO YOU SEE THE PARALLELS TO THAT ONE TIME HE WANTED TO GIVE HER AN EXTRA POWERFUL HEALING POTION TO MAKE SURE SHE WOULD BE SAFE??? PROTECTIVE FJORD PARALLELS!!!

and then he just brushes off the fact that he’s a huge Uk’otoa beacon everytime they are on water —baby, you died once already, don’t act like it’s whatever???

Fjord: maybe it would provide some protection if we were to keep checking in on him?

Jester: I mean... it’s worth a try.

Of course, as she points out, Lucien has already met all of them and he could just as easily scry on any of the M9 if he wanted to, but that’s not really what Fjord is worried about, what is bothering him. Fjord knew Lucien was watching and it’s not the first time they are scried on, but he makes it clear that he’s concerned about how centered on Jester that’s been lately.

Jester: Maybe it’ll keep me from getting seen next time I scry on him?

Fjord: I guess we’ll find out next time we try it.

The way he chuckles softly, trying to defuse the tension, and she smiles back even though this subject clearly has her nervous??? 11/10

Jester: Thank you.

SHE SAYS IT SO SOFTLY. SHE’S CLEARY SO TOUCHED THAT HE’S WATCHING OUT FOR HER AND HAVING HER BACK JUST LIKE HE ALWAYS DOES.

LOOK AT THOSE HEART EYES THEY BOTH HAVE WTF

THEY ARE BOTH SO SOFT

Fjord: Yeah. Just in case it’s not... coincidence.

Listen there’s such a heaviness in how he says the word.

Like the possibility of anyone —especially this very dangerous stranger with the face of a friend— purposefully targeting Jester is his worst nightmare. It probably is.

Jester: It’s also creepy. He did say that he kind of knew me, right?

NOTICE HOW JESTER IS STILL PLAYING WITH THE AMULET IN HER HANDS???

Idk why but that’s getting to me. She’s so nervous with this whole thing.

Fjord: He did?

Jester: When we got there he said he hadn’t met anyone except for me.

OH FJORD DOESN’T LIKE THIS AT ALL

So of course Jester tries to defuse the tension talking about how she must look like through the scry

AND HE’S JUST SO IN LOVE

And so he plays along

LOOK AT THE WAY HE MAKE HER SMILE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(same, Ashley, same)

And so, more reassured by the goofiness, Jester finally puts the necklace on.

Fjord: And of course, it’s Caleb’s...

Jester: oh

LISTEN SHE DID NOT LIKE THAT. She was clearly so excited to get a present like this from Fjord and you can see her face fall a little when it’s deviated towards someone else.

Jester: should I ask him if it’s okay?

Fjord: Well, he gave it to me to use it..

Fjord: and you seem to need it more.

AKA THE AMULET WAS FOR FJORD’S WELLBEING BUT THE WAY HE IS OK IS IF HE KNOWS JESTER IS PROTECTED

Jester, now that she knows this is something that he is personally choosing to transfer to her: Okay...

LOOK AT THE WAY SHE CLUTCHES IT TO HER HEART I’M DYING

Fjord: And just be careful.

Fjord: I don’t like the possibility of him keying in on you or using that connection between the two of you to manipulate something. His magic seems strange.

LISTEN GUYS LISTEN

THIS PART HERE IS HUGE OK?

This is the part where Fjord took 18 steps forward instead of one since Rumblecusp

Whereas before he could’ve hide his concern as something tactical, something useful that made sense and could help their mission... or could’ve hidden behind group speech to disguise his concern...

here he says “I don’t like the possibility of him keying in on you.”

here he is straight up saying “I am worried about you”

(quietly hopes Lucien does exactly that to trigger more protective fjord instincts in the future and lots of angst based shippy shenaingans)

Fjord: Alright. More adventures tomorrow.

BECAUSE THAT’S ALL OK

THAT’S IT

HE SAID HIS PIECE, HE KEPT HER SAFE, MADE SURE SHE LAUGHED A LITTLE AND THAT’S ALL HE NEEDS... THAT AND MORE ADVENTURES BY HER SIDE

But then Jester hesitates

AND LOOK AT THAT, THE WAY SHE PULLS BACK LIKE SHE’S AFRAID IF SHE SAYS THE WRONG THING HE’LL CLOSE OFF

THE WAY HIS FACE SCRUNCHES WITH WORRY OVER WHAT COULD POSSIBLY BE TROUBLING HER THAT SHE’S HESITATING TO SAY

Fjord: What?

Jester: H- How are you?

FJORD MELTING IMMEDIATELY:

The way he goes from super concerned to extremely soft in 0.2 seconds.

(i am ashley and ashley is me)

Jester: *explaining all the very valid reasons she has to be worried about Fjord too and all the crazy shit that happened to him only a few days ago*

Fjord: *bursting with feelings of love*

seriously travis pls have some mercy of my poor yearning soul

Also I wanna talk about the way Jester brings up Avantika.

Jester: She tried to pull you into the water... you guys had a thing... it must have been weird to see her all kinda dead and stuff... was it weird? And then you killed her... again...

The way she calls them “a thing” and the way she checks if it was “weird” for him to see her as undead really says a lot to me. I think Jester never quite got over the heartbreak during the pirate arc and part of her probably still thought that Fjord harbored some sort of feelings or attraction towards Avantika.

I think she believes whatever they two had was far more intimate than it actually was. Or, at the very least, Jester thinks it must have meant something to Fjord.

How could she not? The whole thing had her bursting with jealousy and pain and unresolved feelings... you can tell how anxious she is around this subject but also she needs to know if he’s alright because she cares too much

Fjord: It was weird. Yeah, it was weird, for sure. I wasn’t expecting that...

HE DOESN’T EVEN REGISTER IT AS AN “EX” THING I SWEAR

Fjord: I’m alright.

And so she finally relaxes.

Fjord: It feels like I keep trying to start newer chapters in my life and leave the old stuff behind and then it just... keeps popping up.

Fjord: It feels like it’s hard to... pursue something new, when the past is not dealt with.

YOU CAN’T SEE IT IN THE SCREENSHOTS BUT JESTER STARTS NODDING VERY GENTLY WHEN HE STARTS TALKING ABOUT NEW CHAPTERS AND MOVING ON

ALSO THIS

(ashley knows what I’m talking about)

Jester: Do we need to deal with the past?

SHE SAYS WE

BECAUSE AS USUAL THEY ARE A TEAM ALWAYS FIRST AND FOREMOST

AND IF THIS IS SOMETHING HE NEEDS TO DO SHE’S GOING TO HELP HIM AND BE BY HIS SIDE WITHOUT A DOUBT NO MATTER WHAT

Fjord: I think so.

Fjord: Yeah... I want to.

THE WAY HE LOOKS AT HER WHEN HE SAYS ‘I WANT TO’. HE WANTS TO HAVE A FUTURE WITH HER. HE WANTS TO LET GO OF THE PAST SO HE CAN HAVE A FUTURE WITH HER. HE’S LETTING HIMSELF ‘WANT’ THIS AND ADMITTING IT.

Fjord: I feel like I need to close all of that before...

AND THEN HE JUST GOES THROUGH THIS BLESSED FACE JOURNEY FOR 6 ENTIRE SECONDS

LOOK AT IT

AND THE WAY SHE SLOWLY SMILES LIKE SHE MIGHT KNOW WHAT HE MEANS

LOOK AT HER OWN FACIAL JOURNEY

ASHLEYYYYYYYYYY

And so Jester jumps into action mode offering her help.

and Fjord —once again— proves that he’s able and willing to open up to Jester about things that he’s keeping close to his chest... like Sabian.

Fjord: I um... I actually... I put a bounty out for S-Sabian.

IDK WHY THIS FACIAL EXPRESSION AMUSES ME THIS MUCH

THIS IS FJORD’S ‘IM ABOUT TO CONFESS SOMETHING PERSONAL TO JESTER FACE’ AND WE’VE SEEN IT BEFORE AT THE KILN AND IN RUMBLECUSP

Jester: A bo- When? How?

SHE’S SO BEWILDERED LMFAO

and a little offended that she didn’t know

and I think Fjord can tell by the way he quickly tries to excuse it as a way to keep Kotho occupied after the whole Vokodo ordeal

But Jester quickly gets back on track and starts looking for a way to help him with this. If finding Sabian is what Fjord wants —what he needs— right now, she’ll do anything to help him.

Jester: *describing how she would be able to help Fjord*

Fjord, who never had anyone be this ride or die for him ever and who is bursting at the seems with love for this kind and wonderful woman:

Fjord: Sure.

Jester: You want me to do it?

Fjord: Yeah.

THOSE HEART EYES SHOULD BE ILEGAL

Jester: *uses a sixth level spell to send a message for Fjord because this is totally her number one priority now and it’s not like they are dealing with stuff that literally drained her today or like they are stuck up north for god knows how long... nope... she needs to find a way to help Fjord right now*

Fjord:

okay okay okay

so after the message

you can see how Jester is worried that the news she finally found for him are bad news and not going to cheer him up

Jester: Oops

Fjord: No, no, no, no! No oops! That’s great! That’s great!

I love the way he rushes to reassure her, to make sure she knows that what she just did for him is amazing and means so much and please jester do not be sad about this because this already means so much to me you have no ideaaaaaa

Fjord: That’s... totally distracting but that’s great.

Fjord: Thank you.

Jester: You’re welcome! Now you know!

Fjord, with more feeling and emotion behind it like he wants to tell her that she and everything she does for him out of love mean the entire universe to him: Thank you.

Jester, blissfully unaware that he’s in love with him but delighted that she was able to help and that he is letting her in enough to help deal with his past: You’re welcome! I’m glad I could help!

Fjord, still not over how good she is and how diametrically different her kindness is compared to everything else he’s known in life so far and still after these many months shook and surprised by how wonderful she is: That’s very nice of you, I-

Jester: It’s just a (6th level) spell. Easy to do.

SHE HAS NO IDEA THAT WHAT HE MEANS ISN’T THE MAGIC NOR THE SPELL NOR THE INFORMATION... IT’S HER HELP AND SUPPORT THAT HE IS SO SHAKEN WITH.

Fjord: I.... will think about that all night.

Sure you will Fjord. We know you will. But we know it’s not about Sabien but about Jester’s kindness that you’re gonna be thinking all night. We know that’s what’s keeping you up. Not the past, the future.

AND OF COURSE

THE OBLIGATORY AWKWARD ENDING

Fjord: I’ll race you to the top!

Both: UP!

THEY ARE SO ADORABLE AND GOOFY AND PERFECT FOR EACH OTHER WTF HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LIVE MY LIFE INSTEAD OF THINKING ABOUT THEM 24/7??

ANYWAY WHO IS READY FOR PIRATE ARC PART 2 AND MORE SHENANIGANS WITH THESE TWO WHILE FJORD GETS FINALLY READY TO MOVE FORWARD TOWARDS THE FUTURE HE WANTS WITH JESTER? I AM

#fjorester #fjord stone #jester lavorre #critical role #cr spoilers #sofia's nonsense

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reidswritings · 4 years

Text

lay me gently

word count; 4.9k

warnings; 6x18 spoilers (but just the end of it), drug usage, overdoses, medical talk, curse words ,,,, and i think thats ittttt

author’s note; welp this took foreverrrr for me to write because i was worried i didn't do it justice. but i guess im pretty okay with how it turned out!! so i hope you enjoy!! also italics are flashbacks!!

Y/N reaches for him. She reaches for him to try and make it better, to try and make sure he isn’t going to break into a million pieces right in front of her. She reaches for him because it makes her feel better. She reaches for him but his hands stop her, larger ones wrapping around the smaller ones. He has a rough grip on her— tough, but not hard enough to leave a mark or hurt the pretty girl. No, he’d never hurt his Pretty Girl. His grip was solid as if he was holding her to him; like if he let her loose she would drift away.

His voice comes then, wrecked, “Y/N, please.” It’s a cry for help and it breaks her heart, she decides as he continues, “Please, don’t make this into something it’s not. Stop, Y/N, stop making this a thing; I’m not sad. I’m fine.”

He was not fine, but she conceded. That was the last time she saw him; that was three weeks ago. Well, not the last time she saw him, but definitely the last time she spoke to him. The last time she heard his silky smooth voice, the last time she saw the lovely brown eyes that always had a silly undertone to them. The last time she watched his kissable lips as they moved forming the words she didn’t want to hear. She missed him, she missed him more than she knew possible.

She knew something had happened, but she didn’t know all the details; he never gave her the full story. She often thinks back to the night before that last one— the one where her boy ran away from her. To the one that changed everything. To the one that was the beginning of the end.

A knock at her door had her dropping the books she was carrying, letting them fall to the floor in a unforgiving heap, loose papers falling from in-between pages— she knew if Spencer had seen, he would be rather disgruntled and scoop them up and place them back in their rightful place before doing anything.

Faster than she could fathom, her feet were rushing her to the wood, pulling it open. She knew he was coming, JJ had called— said it was a bad case, said that they had lost a good friend, said that Spencer had lost it. She had said that he was wrecked.

JJ was no where near correct—yes, he was in fact wrecked, but the boy Y/N was staring at was not Spencer Reid. This was someone else. Someone she couldn’t recognize; someone she had no business knowing. Someone she didn’t want to know, frankly.

The boy in front of her was barely holding himself together. It looked like he was having trouble standing, like he was going to fall into a pile any second; his hand was holding onto the wood frame, knuckles white. His face—the once beautiful, laugher filled face—was tuning a sickly shade of green. The girl before him was worried he was going to vomit, though that would be the least of her worries. Spencer let out an ugly sob, arguably the worst thing she had ever heard. Her heart broke for him, she moved to touch him and he jerked out of his daze, now looking the worried girl in her eyes.

“Em— Emily, she— she’s gone. Y/N, I can’t— I can’t, I didn’t— I never said goodbye.” His hand dropped from the door and he swayed, she reached for him again. He pulled away, moving past her into the dimly lit foyer. If they were in a different scene, she would admire the yellow cast that was turning her Pretty Boy into an even more beautiful version of himself. She was so in love with him, it hurt somedays. His hands were as wild as his words, as wild as his eyes; Y/N didn’t recognize the man in front of her. He was manic and she was panicking.

“Spence,” she began, not knowing where to go from there. She let the words flow, letting her instincts take over. “Spencer, hey, it’s okay. It’s gonna be okay, just take a breath. It’s gonna be alright. Calm down—”

“Calm down?” The manic boy whirled on her, eyes wide and wild. His voice sounded just like it always did, fast and smooth. However, this time, it held undertones of anger, sadness and denial. It was like he wanted to turn back time, wanted to forget that she was really gone, that he would never speak another word to his good friend. “You want me to calm down? Y/N, I-I don’t even know how to do that right now. Everything feels so. . .”

He had paused, not knowing how to explain his feelings. He couldn’t put it to words, she could though. She supplied him with the words, “Fuzzy?”

He paused then, letting his breathing slow, “Y-Yeah.” The boy’s breath hitched again and Y/N hoped he wouldn’t launch himself into a panic attack. He nodded, rubbing his eyes with his long fingers, hard. “I don’t know what’s real. Everything is happening so fast; it feels like I’m in slow motion and everything is just— everything is just rushing by. Y/N, what do I do?”

Y/N’s mind was blank. Y/N’s mind was blank and she hated it. She hated it more than she’s ever hated anything in her whole life. She hated that she didn’t know what to say, how to help him. Her mouth opened and closed a few times, no words escaping her lips. So, instead, she moved forward and wrapped him in her arms and said, “It’s gonna be okay. I’m right here for you.”

He took comfort in her arms, and for a moment, just a moment, he forgot where he was and what was happening. He forgot that one of his best friends had just died. Upon remembering, he jerked away from the girl he had begun to fall in love with. He pushed away, closing his arms around his body; closing himself off from the world— from her.

In his disheveled mind and blurry eyes he saw his neighbor, his girl, his pretty love, open her mouth presumably to comfort him again. But he didn’t want it. He didn’t want anything from her, from anyone. He held a hand up effectively shutting her up; he took the opportunity to take his exit.

The boy practically ran as he left in his hurry; the door slamming in to the wall, leaving a mark— not that Y/N cared at the moment. Her breath was in her throat, watching him leave her apartment and rush into his own across the hall. She felt her lips move, saying his name in a plea. A plea to let her help, to let her in. A plea for him to not shut her out.

But all she was met with was the door slamming and the lock sounding.

That was almost three weeks ago. Three weeks of forbidden glances and almost words. Every time he had seen her turn the corner to their adjacent doors, he would turn the other way, walk back into his one bedroom, he’d take the stairs or the elevator— just to avoid talking to her. He avoided talking to her because he knew. He knew she would see right through him; he knew that she could read him better than the seven profilers that he called his family. She was better than the best; she was better than the BAU, and that was saying a fucking lot.

She saw it on his face; she saw the pain and frustration. She saw the internal fight; she saw it all and she just wished he’d let her in. She saw it for weeks. For three fucking weeks she saw the way he hid within himself and withered away. She wondered what it was; she wondered what he was doing to himself.

She wished he’d talk to her. Open up to her. Share his pain with her. She wished that she could have her boy back. There was one day that really bothered her; it was just another day of the week, a boring Wednesday. It was just another day of coming home and hoping not to run into Spencer Reid; she was beginning to break with each passing look. She wasn’t sure how much longer she could handle the stranger facade, the cold shoulder, the longing for each other. It was too much.

Against her hopes, she did in fact run into the handsome man. He was standing in front of his door, a duffle at his feet and his messenger bag slung across his body. He looked tired— more tired than she had seen him in the passing weeks (it made sense that he stood there. he must’ve been on a case, she hadn’t seen him in a few days). His hands were fumbling, shaking, with his keys before sticking them in. He just barely turned the key, hadn’t even heard it unlock yet.

His hair was unruly and Y/N wished she could just. . . run her fingers though it and fix it, like she used to. His eyes were bloodshot and lidded, fighting to stay open. Y/N took note that he looked like he was swaying, like he was about to fall asleep. Like he was dead on his feet. He looked pale, sick; almost like he was getting over a cold, but Y/N knew better. She knew better. This wasn’t a cold. Y/N had stopped at the end of the hallway; a deer caught in headlights. Spencer had heard her shoes come to a stop and he turned; another deer, another car.

He coughed, wiped his nose and said, “Y-Y/N?”

The boy swayed some more, hand flying out in front to steady himself. He heard her gasp and his once clouded mind became sharp. she knows. she knows. she knows. she knows. she knows. she—

“Spencer?” It was simple. That was it, one word, his name, and he was running into his apartment after struggling to unlock it for a few seconds (ones that really felt more like hours). She didn’t sleep that night. Her mind was too plagued with thoughts of Spencer Reid. She knew if she did try and sleep she would fall asleep only to be woken by her anxiety surrounding the Pretty Boy.

Y/N wasn’t dumb. No, in fact, Spencer often said she was one of the smartest people he knew and that meant a lot considering that he worked with seven brilliant minds, as well as being a certified genius. She knew what was happening to the boy across the hall. That Wednesday confrontation had confirmed it for her. She knew.

She knew and she was planning on having a one on one intervention. She would’ve asked his friends to be there too but she had heard (from Spencer) that they weren’t very present the first time he had this problem— so here she was, on her own. That was what brought her to his door, she had knocked only to be met with silence. She knew he was home, she knew he was in there. Being neighbors with a guy who you’re simultaneously in love with and worried about gives you a lot of perks— one of them knowing where he is at all times, in the most non-stalkerish way ever.

She knocked again. Silence again. She hoped he was just ignoring her. She hoped that he was just in the shower and hadn’t heard either knocks. She hoped that he was doing anything other than the intrusive thoughts her mind was throwing at her. She hoped, she hoped, she hoped. Y/N knew what she had to do. Spencer had given her a key to his place—for emergencies. She knew that it was an invasion of his privacy, but she had to know. She had to see him; had to see that he was alright. She had to. So, with her heart in her throat, threatening to jump from her body any second, she put the key in the lock and twisted, pushing the heavy door open.

And god damn it, she wished she would’ve poked her nose in sooner, because slumped on the couch was a very drugged up version Spencer Reid. She would’ve given anything, everything, to not have to have him in this pain, to not have him dealing with this. Her heart stopped, upon seeing the unmoving form, and she wanted to die.

There sat (sat being a loose word) Spencer, his usually buttoned shirt was laying open, showing his uncharacteristically toned stomach. The sleeve that was on his left arm was rolled up, his rubber tourniquet tightly on his upper arm and there were a few track marks in the crook of his elbow. His left hand was loosely balled into a fist and his right held a needle that was more than likely in his arms minutes before.

Y/N was in shock. She couldn’t move, couldn’t take her eyes off the sight in front of her. The boy who she had come to love was no longer present. The usually Pretty Boy’s head was leaning on the back of the ratty couch, eyes barely opened and unfocused. His long hair was matted to his forehead in sweat. His breathing was shallow and coming out in rough puffs; she could see how much he was struggling with the task. The neighbor girl was worried that he would stop completely if she didn’t do something.

She moved forward quickly, her hands pulling at the rubber, throwing it on the ground. Her hands moved to his face, cupping his head. Her fingers expertly wiped at the sweat, moving it off his skin. “Spence? Hey, Spencer, can you hear me?”

His unfocused eyes landed on her, blinking slowly a few times—too slowly— and his mouth opened and his brows furrowed slightly. “Wha— what’s hap’nin’? Y-Y/N?”

He moved weakly against her, pulling his face away and then his arms. He tried to push her away, fight her, but she was significantly stronger than him. In another life, Spencer would’ve been embarrassed— would’ve thought it was off putting that the girl he liked could easily over power him. But alas, its not and she is. He grunted out against her, whining; he felt limp against the sofa again, eyes unfocused and confused— too tired to move, to fight her. His body was defying him, giving up.

“S-Spencer?” With no response, she pulled out her phone— a moment of clarity. She could do this. She could do this. She could do this. Calling the emergency team was a hard thing to do, explaining what happened, who he was, where they were— it was hard, but what was harder was seeing him be placed on a stretcher and loaded into the back of an ambulance. The hardest thing, though, was not being able to go with the brown eyed Pretty Boy.

If you asked her, years from now, what she remembered from that night she’d always say watching the love of your life be pulled away from you with no guarantee that you’ll see them again is the worst pain imaginable and I’d never wish it on my worst enemy.

The lovely people that came to Spencer’s rescue had told her that she unfortunately wasn’t allowed in the back of the rig— something having to do with regulations and legal things. She didn’t argue, she didn’t have the energy to. The girl, who was suffering the effects of shock, pulled out her phone again. She knew Spencer wouldn’t have wanted her to, but she didn’t know what else to do and he wasn’t there to stop her. She let her fingers dial the number that just happened to call her three weeks earlier.

The voice on the other side answered quickly, a cheery tone to it. Y/N distantly wished that she could also share that feeling— she wished she didn’t have to rip the happiness away from the beautiful blonde she had come to know. She wished that JJ didn’t have to listen to the words about to spill from her lips. Y/N wished that Spencer never stuck the needle in his arm. She wished that things were different. She wished and wished and wished until her head hurt.

JJ met her at the hospital sans Will and her boys— probably a good idea on her part. Especially considering the state that Y/N was in. The usually posed girl was now disheveled, her hair was sticking up unnaturally (from pulling at it in anger, confusion, sadness— all of the emotions, really), her eyes were puffy from crying and JJ could tell that the girl in front of her was in another world. Y/N was sitting in one of the uncomfortable chairs provided by the hospital and her leg was bouncing at an alarming speed. JJ knew she needed to get Y/N’s mind off the boy; she needed to do something.

The hospital was noisy yet also controlled. It was like everyone who was talking was miles away, that they were trying to keep their voices down in fear that she would burst and lose it.

“Y/N?” It was soft, Y/N realized. She recognized the tone and connected it to how Spencer usually addressed her. Logically, her mind knew it was not Spencer and that it was a girl’s voice that had began but her heart and lips knew otherwise.

“Spencer?” Full of tears and hope, Y/N’s voice called out first, just as soft. Then her eyes moved up, hoping to see the curly haired boy, and were (unfortunately) met with her pretty blonde friend who was squatting in front of her. She was hovering— Y/N didn’t like that. She felt closed in but she didn’t have the heart (or the energy) to tell her to give her some space.

JJ could see the hope drain from the girl’s body. “Just me, sorry.” The blonde patted Y/N’s knee before taking the seat next to her. “How you doing?”

Anger. That was what flowed through Y/N’s veins at the question. “How am I doing? I don’t know, JJ. How do you think? I just found the guy I love passed out, on the brink of an overdose! All because you guys couldn’t—”

She cut herself off with a gasp; she took it too far, she knew that. She also knew that it wasn’t anyone’s fault— no one except Spencer’s. She knew that. She was just so scared for her boy.

The girl next to her was taken aback; JJ’s mouth hung open, eyes wide. She opened and closed her mouth a few times, trying to say something— anything. JJ knew it wasn’t her fault, she knew that. She wasn’t the one that gave him the drugs, she didn’t encourage him to take them. Maybe Y/N was right though, she wasn’t there for him like she should’ve been. She left him to grieve on his own. She may not have encouraged him but she sure as hell was at fault. She may not have stuck the needle in the boy’s vein, but she might as well have told him to do so.

JJ’s mouth opened again, words soft and regretful, “Y/N, I am so sorry. You’re right, I should’ve been there for him. I don’t—”

Y/N took a breath, calming herself, “No, JJ, I-I’m sorry. I don’t know where that came from. I know it’s not your fault. Spencer did this to himself.”

The girls waited together in silence after that. The only sound being the many people rushing around the building and the small conversations of the people around the two girls and the heavy breathing from the aforementioned women. They comforted each other— not with words but rather with their body language. Y/N and Jennifer held hands, willing the other to stay calm, until a doctor approached them, solemn look on her face. Both girls stood up, hand in hand. Y/N’s nerves skyrocketed, she felt like she was going to pass out. If the doctor didn’t give her any good news, she was sure she would. Her thoughts were moving a mile a minute and she was willing the doctor to speak, tell them what happened, tell them something good.

Why wasn’t she talking? Why is she looking at her like that? Why won’t she stop smiling like that? Why won’t she tell her what’s happening?

“Y/N,” The doctor, who had once given her name but was now forgotten, began before her eyes looked between the blonde agent next to her and then to Y/N. “Can we talk in private?”

Private? Oh god. Oh god. Oh god, that’s not good. Private is never good. “Uh— You can say in in front of her. It’s okay.”

A sigh came from the doctor’s lips, hands folding in front of her. “Y/N, are you sure?”

“Yes—!” A sigh from Y/N. A beat passed and then she tried again, softer this time, “Yes, please, just tell me what’s happening.”

“Okay. . . Well, when you brought Mr Reid—”

“Doctor Reid—” Both horrified girls corrected simultaneously. It wasn’t important, they knew that. Of course they knew that. It was important to the bedridden boy though, and they knew he’d correct the doctor if he was here. So, they did what Spencer would do and corrected her.

Another sigh from the woman in the scrubs, “When we brought Doctor Reid in, he was experiencing an overdose, as I’m sure you know. He was also having trouble breathing and had a seizure while on the way in.”

The doctor paused, waiting to see if either girl had any questions. Neither did, but both felt their hearts stopped. Y/N felt the tears return to her eyes, she felt like she needed a minute. The broken girl let her hand slip away from the blonde’s and sat back down in the dirty chair. She placed her head in her hands and did some breathing exercises. She distantly heard the woman continue talking, “We were able to stable him and he’s resting now. He might be a little groggy but you can probably take him home in a bit. I can take one of you to see him, if you’d like.”

Y/N’s body and mind sharpened at that. She could see him? He was fine? She felt JJ’s presence next to her again, a hand was placed on her back, rubbing. “You should go first.”

“What about you?”

She smiled a soft smile (one that she was sure was taught to her by Spencer), eyes wet, “I’ll check in with him later. Go ahead.” The young girl didn’t need another word before she was up out of her seat, following the doctor. Her heartbeat was in her ears; she wondered if the woman next to her could hear it. It didn’t matter, she ultimately decided. They stopped in front of a half closed door; the doctor opening it to let the girl in. She must’ve expected her to rush in, because she started to swing the door shut. But Y/N was frozen, eyes locked with the Pretty Boy, that is until the door almost hit her. The girl mumbled a small, sorry before making her way fully into the room.

The boy she missed so much was leaning back into the bed, his arms at his sides— he looked uncomfortable. He was awake and that surprised Y/N; she had half expected him to be asleep. She wasn’t ready to confront the boy yet. His eyes watched her move around the room; she was pacing, hands shaking the nerves out. He could see that she was wrecked and he knew he was the cause. He wanted to turn back time, he wanted to make sure she never had to deal with him like this. The boy opened his mouth then closed it. He didn’t know how to make it better. He wished he did, but he really didn’t.

Maybe Emily was right, he thought and his heart broke for his lost friend all over again, my genius IQ really does get slashed to 60 when I’m looking at a pretty girl.

Y/N, after a few minutes, came to a rough stop and turned to him, a fire in her eyes. An emotion that he had never seen directed at him before— it scared him. Her voice came then, angry and wrecked, “Spencer Reid—! What— Why?!”

He had no answer for her, so he just slowly lifted his hands in a shrug and said, “I’m sorry.”

She let out a sigh and then laughed bitterly, “You’re sorry? Spencer, I-I don’t even know where to begin. . . you could’ve talked to me, you know?”

A cough and a sniff, then another sigh. He knew. “I know.”

“I was so worried. Spence, I— I thought you were gonna die. Do you want to die, Spencer— is that it? You were trying to kill yourself?”

“No!” It was rushed and harsh. It hurt his throat causing him to clear it before speaking again, “No, I don’t want to die, Y/N. It was an accident, ‘m not suicidal.” The boy threw his head back against his pillow in anger. He wished that she could just know why he needed the release. It made sense to him; he wanted her to understand.

“God!” She threw her hands out, angry, “Spencer, fuck. An accident?! You accidentally shot up? You accidentally got yourself addicted to Dilaudid again? God, Spence, seriously?”

She was angry, Spencer knew that. She had every right to be, but he was also feeling attacked. He was just so, so tired and irritated. He needed a minute, he needed a breath and Y/N asking him all these questions was not helping him whatsoever. “What do you want from me?!”

The angry girl was taken aback and it showed. Her whole body language changed, she took a few discombobulated steps backward as if she had been pushed and her mouth fell open at the question. Spencer immediately felt horrible— he wanted to take it back but it was too late. The words had already been said.

“What do I want?” The words were soft, a tone of hurt to them and despite himself, Spencer nodded. “Spence, I wanted you to talk to me. I wanted you to not shut me out! I didn’t want this; I didn’t want you to fucking overdose because you’re too stubborn to talk to me. Spencer I—”

Tears filled his eyes as he asked, “What? You what?”

“Spencer. . . I-I love you, you know that. Spence, you know that. I know you do.” The boy’s tears fell as he nodded. His words were caught in his throat. He sniffed, he did know. His heart fluttered at the confession. They weren’t official; they hadn’t had the talk. They were just two kids dumb in love. She continued, heart heavy. “But I swear to god, Spence, if you keep down this path you will loose me. I will not be apart of this; I will not watch you kill yourself.”

A beat of silence passed. Then he spoke. It was soft and small, a tone of anxiety accompanied it. “You’ll leave?”

“Don’t make me the bad guy, Spence,” She grunted out, a nervous hand running through her hair.

“Y/N— I-I don’t even— I don’t know what you want me to say.” The broken boy admitted, trying to sit up. Y/N moved forward, sitting next to his legs. She grabbed ahold of one of his hands, lacing their fingers together.

“I want you to tell me you’ll stop. Spencer, I want you to tell me I won’t find you like— like that again.” The girl was looking down, away from Spencer, but he knew she was crying. He knew her too well. He knew that this was breaking her. But he had to say it, even if it would break her heart.

“I don’t know if I can.” He cried, hand squeezing hers. She met his eyes then.

“Spencer, please.” She knew it was selfish of her to ask, but she couldn’t. She couldn’t imagine a world with out him.

“I don’t think I’m strong enough, Y/N/N.”

“You are. You are, I promise.” She nodded at him, hope flooding her veins. “And I’ll be there when it gets too hard.”

She felt him squeeze her hand again before he spoke, fears lacing his wrecked voice, “You will?”

“I will, Spencer. I promise. I just need you to try. Just try and I’ll help with the rest.”

The boy nodded, tears falling from his beautiful brown eyes— the ones that Y/N was more than in love with.

She didn’t lie that night; no, she stuck with him throughout it all. She was there when the cravings got so bad that he was in physical pain and tears stung his eyes. She was there for him when he woke up from nightmares. She was there to rub his back when he vomited all his food into the toilet and when he was so frustrated because he couldn’t be trusted to hold a glass, let alone his gun, before it slipped through his weak fingers. She was there when he wanted to die and when he was so uncomfortable that all he did was cry in her arms. She was there for it all. She had kept her promise and stayed there for it all— just like he would’ve if the roles were reversed.

#spencer reid #spencer reid fluff #spencer reid angst #spencer reid x reader #spencer x reader #matthew gray gubler #mgg

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kayzume · 4 years

Text

Pairing: Bokuto x Reader

Genre: a tiny, tiny bit of angst, but mostly fluff:>

wc: 4.1k, who knew i can pull of something this long😃

Note: This fic is my gift to @jayeray for our server secret santa, Happy Holidays to you I hope you had a great Christmas and I hope we get to talk more (timezone is sht, I must be asleep when yer online🥲)I hope this piece makes you smile:>. Also sorry for shamelessly asking three people to beta this bec im not sure about how it turned out, also bec my grammar is sht(T ^ T)—also lemme thank the internet by helping me with them vows, only edited some parts of it to fit the story better..

Beta: @thirstyforthem2dmen , @india-katsuki , @prismaintales kithes to all of u

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Life is filled with fluttering moments, these events mark something within us that would either make us...or break us. You guessed that most of your story has made you what you are today. You were walking in the park hand in hand with Koutaro and your daughter, playing with his hair while she sat on his shoulders.

“Momma can I ask something?” your daughter spoke breaking silence.

“What is it baby?” you responded

“How’d you meet dad?” she asked cocking her head to the side, much like her father when he’s curious. You smiled at her,

“Well…”

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‘The Meeting’

“Hey, Hey” you ignored whatever that was and whoever was making those annoying calls. Your face remained buried on the textbook required for your literature elective. Lost in your own thoughts and the flow of music through your earbuds, you missed the exasperated sigh that left the lips of the one and only Bokuto Kutaro, star player of the volleyball team.

“Hey miss!” tap tap the loud tapping burst your train of thoughts pulling one of your buds out, you glared at the man in front of you.

“What? You got nothing better to do buddy?!” you spat in utter annoyance.

“You’re in my seat” he replied grimly, lowkey telling you to scoot over. You, in return, refused to leave your spot; checking every nook and cranny to try and look for names or scribblings.

“Doesn’t have your name on it, you can’t stake a claim and this is school property” you argue pettily. He looked at you in disbelief.

“B-but Akaashi sits right here” he whispered, albeit to himself. You stifled a scoff, he looked so upset at the fact that he can’t sit beside this ‘Akaashi’ person. You cleared your throat and offered him the other side of your spot, which is free.

“Why don’t you sit here instead, you’d still be near your friend. I wouldn’t hinder any chatter that you decide to make” is what you told him. There’s no particular reason as to why you wouldn’t move instead, just that your pride isn’t letting you, besides his reactions are very much worth the trouble. The classroom doors creaked open, students pouring in and occupying the seats. A man with dark hair approached you, or rather the seat beside you. He eyed the person you were conversing with just now. He didn’t utter a word and took his seat beside you. A few minutes later the bells started ringing signaling the start of lectures, your professor walked in clutching big old dusty books of classic literature, your not so favorite. The only reason you were even taking this class is for the extra credits, that you most definitely do not need. You were bored and needed a new source of entertainment. For normal students this must seem ridiculous, because studying isn’t counted as a source of fun. Take note ‘normal’ you were far from normal. You’re friendless, you were having a hard time mingling with others your age. It's not that you were getting bullied, it's just you and your foreboding trust issues. You hated the feeling of betrayal and refused to remember what it was like, so as a coping mechanism you refused to make friends, or even open up to anyone.

Bokuto was upset that he didn’t get to sit beside Akaashi, he was a year ahead but the volleyball coaches as much as they hate to prevent him from playing official games, he was failing english literature and needed to keep up his grades in order to enter the court again. Easier said than done, his literature class held him back from moving further. His professor sponsored his letter so that he will only be held back by one subject and not the whole year, all he had to do now is pass the semester with flying colors, and so far he was having a hard time. That’s the reason he needed to sit near Akaashi so the later can help him with his studies, then this woman came out of nowhere and taking his seat is not helping the least bit and he hates it.

“L/N-san we would like to request your assistance” your professor spoke in a low voice. Assistance in what matter, it seems important that it looks almost impossible to refuse.

“I’d be glad to lend a hand, but with what, sensei you rarely ask for favors it feels new” you replied

“Please tutor Bokuto Kotarou, he’s an oncoming senior but has been held back by this subject. If he fails one more time he’d have to repeat the whole year, and this might also put a bad name for his sports scholarship” She explained, you looked at the profile of the student you need to tutor, it was him, the guy with condiments hair.

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“Condiments hair?” your daughter asked in confusion

“Mom was so mean right?? She called dad condiments, do I look like a bottle of ketchup baby?” Koutaro countered on your daughter with faux pity.

“Oh please, your hair is literally salt and pepper, and yeah you looked like a bottle of ketchup when you blush” you chuckled responding to them.

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‘The Courtship’

It’s been five months since you started teaching Kotarou, and the two of you were past the last name formalities. He was still the same as when you first met, loud and annoying. But you’d never tell him that, because as you’ve observed he has times where he just suddenly drops his attitude and becomes sort of gloomy head in the clouds type of persona. It was confusing and downright weird.

You were at the library looking for articles that can support your paper. It was 6pm, you were hungry and sleepy from studying the whole day, and you were starting to get bored. But since your paperwork is nowhere near done you just couldn't leave.

You heaved a deep sigh and rubbed your now strained eyes, feeling the drowsiness trying to pull you into passing out.

BAM.

You suddenly jolted in your seat, you looked at your side where the loud thump came from. Koutaro was pulling the seat beside you.

“What are you doing here? Don’t you have practice” you asked him, he rarely— almost never skips his volleyball practices.

He sat down properly and jingled a bag in your face.“I had a feeling you’d be hungry by now, I heard from Akaashi that you’re pulling all nighters for your class paper, besides we didn't have session today too, and yes, I have practice today” He replied so calmly it weirded you out a bit.

“Then what—” you started asking again when he rudely pressed his pointing finger at your lips. You were so tempted to bite him.

“I ditched, because of our session” he told you, “and also because I want to bring you some food” he continued.

“Kou, we don’t have sessions during Fridays. You specifically asked me to skip tutoring you on Fridays because you said you want to spend this day hanging out with your friends” you replied to his nonsense. You’re grateful that he thought of you and brought you food, but also you didn’t want to take away his personal time with his friends.

“Uhh y/n, you are my friend too so technically I’m still hanging out and spending my time wisely” he told you while opening a bag of pretzels for the two of you to share. You were thankful you picked the most isolated wing of the library to study or else you two would’ve been kicked out from munching loudly.

You blushed a shade of pink not because he said he sees you as a friend, your cherry blossom cheeks represent the embarrassment and lowkey disappointment that you felt knowing that a friend is all that you will be to him.

“I meant special. You’re a very special friend y/n, and that I hope you’ll allow me to offer you more than a special friendship…” he trailed off looking deeply in the depths of your pooling eyes. You can’t help but feel overwhelmed at the butterflies that started storming from within you. If you were a cherry blossom before, you’d definitely be a red rose now.

“Whatever do you mean by that?” you asked him sheepishly, lowering your head to shield him from seeing you in such an unsightly state. You fiddled with your hands whilst waiting for him to give you an answer.

“Y/n, C-can I court you?” He replied with a sweet smile.

‘The Answer’

It’s been a couple of months since Bokuto’s confession and up to this day you still feel giddy about it. Who would’ve thought that you’ll attract someone the complete opposite of you.

Whenever he visits your dorm or whenever you accompany each other somewhere he doesn’t fail to do something sweet to show his affection towards you. You were having mixed feelings whether to give him a chance or not. ‘Relationships are scary’ you thought, but the idea of him doing those sweet things for others gives a painful churn within you. He invited you to attend a game of his and cheer for him.

“Cheers for goodluck” is what he said the last time you met, which was the day before. You entered the gym, the bright lights blinding your sight. Lightly covering up you headed for the bleachers.

The place was already packed from students and other volleyball patrons. You see some free seats, only to be disappointed when they were actually reserved, you turn to leave for a new place when,

“Y/n!! where are you going? Your seat is right here!!” you craned your neck to where the voice came from only to see Koutaro waving at you. He walked to where you were.

“Sit here and cheer for me as loud as you can” he told cracking a beautiful smile. He wasn’t even doing anything special but you could feel the hotness creeping it’s way from your neck to your cheeks.

“O-okay, do your best out there” without even thinking your body moved on its own to give him a peck on his cheeks. His face contorted in surprise, you thought you did something wrong that it made you a little bit conscious, as you we’re pulling away he held your hand and you stared at his blushing face.

“Do it again” he almost sounds commanding if not for his hands slightly shaking in yours

“W-what...I’m sorry my body moved on it’s own” you started,

“Do it again...to double the luck” is what his reply was, you looked down feeling the loud thumping of your heart in your chest you quickly gave his other cheek a peck.

“G-go now, I think the game is about to start” you shoo him away as you try to calm yourself down. You can’t believe you kissed someone. And in public too. For other people it may not be a big thing but for you, that kiss felt special.

(Game goes, 4th Set)

They were at match point and as the game goes, Koutaro suddenly went on his ‘emo mode’, he was dumbfounded just standing there. You looked worried, there was no way they’re going to lose.

“Just one more point” you whispered to yourself, the ball was set and it looks like Koutaro will go for a shot, he still looked out of it. He needs to get out of his slump. An idea came to mind, it was so unlike you to do something like that but you closed your eyes and just goes for it.

“Take that shot and win!!” you screamed the loudest that you can. You saw him stiffen and slowly he ran and jumped, he spiked the ball so hard it bounced with a hard thud, you almost thought it left a mark on the floor. You heard the loud cheers and a loud buzz, signaling that the game comes to a close.

You sighed in relief to see that your little stunt helped him. You were about to go to and congratulate him when he meets you somewhere in the middle.

“Did I do great y/n-chan?” he asked, his eyes sparkling in anticipation almost as if waiting for a praise.

“You did absolutely great, I had fun watching you,I’m sorry I barely cheered loud, I’m not used to public gatherings like this” you shook your head in embarrassment

“Thank you for cheering me on, uhh y/n since we won, don’t you think it’s fitting that i get a gift from you” he told you. You were a bit puzzled, you didn’t get him anything.

“I- I didn’t get you anythi—” you started only to be cut off by him asking,

“Can I please date you now?”

You smiled at him, “Yea sure”

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“I don’t get it, what was the gift that you gave him, if you didn’t buy him one” she asked again tilting her head

“I gave him my answer” you only smiled on her more evident confusion

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‘The Veil and The Bow’

“Calm down Bokuto-san, everything is perfect” Akaashi told Bokuto as they waited for the large wooden doors to open. It has been 5 years since the two of you started going out and 6 months since he proposed. When you said ‘yes’ to his impromptu proposal he couldn’t believe his ears, at first he was worried and ready to pass it off as a joke but then…

“LET'S GO FOR A DRIVE!!” Koutaro screamed out of nowhere, you gave him a look. Raising an eyebrow in confusion you asked,

“Right now?” he must be joking you thought

“Why not?” he asked dumbly, cocking his head to the side

“Uhh..Kou, it’s 11pm.” you told him nonchalantly, you continued filing on your laptop when you felt him tug at your shirt.

“What?” you asked him without looking, he tugged again. This time as you take on his face, he bit his pouty lips and looked at you straight in the eyes as if begging.

“Really? Where are we even going?” you asked him again whilst standing up and slipping on your warmer.

He looked so excited he rushed to get his keys when he came back to you. He engulfed you in a big hug, snuggling his face in the crook of your neck.

He let out a small “Thank you”

Feeling his hot breath tickling your neck, you gently pushed him off.

“Are we just gonna stand and hug here?” you jabbed him jokingly as if to hide your reddening cheeks. He held your hand and guided you to his awaiting car. You’ve been driving for quite a while, just seeing where the night takes the two of you.

It took you the beach

You walked on the cold sand hand in hand. It was dark and chilly, you shuddered and Koutaro held you close to him, you heard him squeak,

“What was that? Did you say something?” you asked him just to make sure.

“We’re here” he announced, you looked at your surroundings only to see a gazebo all set up with candles, a picnic blanket and plush pillows. You looked at Koutaro stunned

“T-this is all planned?” you asked him stunned at the effort he pulled. No wonder he badly wants to go. You felt warm through the cold on how sweet he was

“You looked so stressed with work I thought that a date will cheer you up even a little” he told you as he fiddled with his hands, even though he was slightly looking down you can clearly see his reddish ears. You couldn’t contain yourself so you tiptoed and kissed him.

“Thank you Kou, having you around is already calming to me, but you did all this too, you’re so sweet, i love you you’re the best thing I could ever ask for” you told him while caressing his cheeks.

He moved his hands to engulf yours, he slowly pushed your hands of to his mouth, giving your palms a peck.

“No, thank you y/n for giving me a chance to be with someone like you,” he told you as he stared at you lovingly.

The night goes by and the two of you ate, laughed, and told each other stories. You two were lying quietly staring at the stars glittering in the night sky.

Sigh.

You looked at Koutaro after he heaved that deep sigh.

“Hey, something wrong” you nudged him a little.

“Nothing...it’s just that I want us to stay like this forever, happy and contented, say y/n, can I ask you something?” he replied, you were curious as to what he was going to ask it seems like a big deal to him.

“Hmm?” you hummed in response

“Y/n...will you stay with me for as long as you can..i mean forever..i mean as long as we can, Can we stay with each other” he asked you in almost a whisper

“Are you—” you were about to ask when he looked at you in all seriousness.

“Y/n L/n, will you marry me?” you can’t keep the surprise in your face, you blushed deeply, it was weird for him to be this serious, but you’re not gonna lie you like this side of him too, you stared at him for a hot minute and cracked your sweetest smile.

“I thought you’d never ask”

The big doors cracked open, the music flowing, Bokuto stared as you walk to where he was, at the altar, waiting.

As the wedding goes on, it was finally time to say your vows, you looked at Koutaro who is now holding a microphone on his left hand and his right gripping into yours,

“Since the day I met you, I knew you were a special woman. And even though I suck at Literature,it will forever be my favorite subject that I ever enrolled in. From that day forward that I met you in that god forsaken class, I became a true believer that you do not find true love, but true love finds you.

You, more than anyone else, know my insecurities and weaknesses and still never make me feel inadequate. You have always loved me without reservations. You praise me in a way I never thought was possible and because of you, I am the best man I can be.

I cannot promise I will always be the perfect husband, but I promise to love you through the good times and bad. To choose our love every single day. I promise to always fight with you and for you, never against you. I promise to always be your biggest fan, confidant and best friend. I promise to remember we are not perfect—only perfect for each other. I promise to love you without hesitation or boundaries from this day forward, for the rest of my life.

Thank you for being the woman of my dreams and the best partner I could ever ask for. Thank you for being the pillar that my wacky soul has always needed and I will forever be your wings. Everything in me recognizes your heart as my home and your arms, my shelter.

You are my better half and very best friend. I will love you, honor you, respect and cherish you in sickness and health, through sorrows and success, for all the days of my life. I am forever yours."

You bit your lip to calm yourself from sobbing into his heartfelt words. You felt his love from every single thing that he spewed out. You were thankful to where you are now, you were thankful to god that gave you a man like Bokuto Koutaro to love you. As you dab away the heavy tears on your face and as clear your throat you tell him your vows in return.

“I want so badly to be able to explain all the love I have for you. Not the love of butterflies and stomach knots—but more the blurring of self and the entanglement with another soul. Love is a word that is much too soft and used far too often to ever describe the fierce, infinite and blazing passion that I have in my heart for you. You are a million dreams and a million prayers of a little girl come true. You are kind. You are silly. You are intelligent—in your own way. Your laugh is contagious and you can put away an entire ice cream cake in one sitting like nobody else can. You acknowledge my strengths and accept my faults. You make me want to be a better person every day. I take you as you are now, tomorrow and for eternity to come, to be my husband.

Even when the day comes that we're old and gray, I promise to always see you with the same eyes and the same heart that I see you with at this exact moment. So today, I vow to honor you and respect you, support you and encourage you. I promise to dream with you, celebrate with you, and walk beside you through whatever life brings. I vow to laugh with you and comfort you during times of joy and times of sorrow. I promise to always pursue you, to fight for you, and love you unconditionally and wholeheartedly for the rest of my life. You are my best friend and I'm the luckiest person on Earth to call you mine."

As you finished your vows you couldn’t help the cracking of your voice, you felt hot tears flow from your eyes, you looked at him as he wipes all of them away.

“Shhh..don’t cry, everyone might get the wrong idea” Koutaro told you as he dabbed on your face. You only chuckled at him, he’s far too precious and you’re lucky to be able to witness it.

“You’re the one getting the wrong idea Kou, these are happy tears. Finally we’re binded forever and always.” you smiled at him as the priest continues on the ceremony

“Forever and always” he whispered back at you as the two of you we’re slipping on your wedding rings.

The priest announced “I pronounce you man and wife, may you live long and build a happy life together.”

He kissed you as the cheers filled the room.

‘The Life’

“Kou!! Go and chase Kaori!!” you instructed your husband to follow your daughter as she ran around away from you. She’s so much like her father, in personality and in looks. You had her 3years ago, and now you would’ve chased her yourself if not for your heavy bulging stomach. You were 7 months in your second pregnancy and everything was hard to do. Thank god for Koutaro, even though he was busy because of his job as a professional athlete he always make sure to make time for you, he always comes home early and makes sure throughout the day that you’re feeling fine. At times he will bring your daughter along to work to lessen the things that you have to think about for the day.

Today was special, he took a day off to take the threeof you to the park. You were tired from playing with the two of them the whole day. So you decided that the three of you should rest a bit, but your child has other plans of her own as soon as you situated yourself on a bench she hopped off and ran. That was why you asked your husband to chase her off to bring her back. The two of them was now in your line of sight, you didn’t want to scold your daughter but, she was extremely hyper and you didn’t want her to trip and fall then hurt herself.

“Bokuto Kaori, you do not just go and run away, against mom’s request, what if you hurt yourself?” you asked her as gentle as you can, even so she still whimpered at you scolding her. She looked at you with big teary eyes.

“I’m so sowwy momma, I only went to go pick these flowers for you” she answered you as she took out three wildflowers from her back, you cooed at how sweet she was. You waved at her to come close and she did, you engulfed her in a loving embrace kissing her temples lightly,

“Aww thank you baby,” you looked up to see Koutaro surprisingly quiet. He was staring at the two of you, he was filled with love and he was grateful for the family you two built together.

“Can I join that hug?” he asked, you opened your arms as he rushed into them almost crushing your daughter in between. The three of you laughed while coddled like that. You looked up at the sky, thankfully smiling.

Gen Taglist open: @kitayawa @aruhappy

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taviewritesstuff · 3 years

Text

You’re Not Like Him, a Blazin’ Trails short

I should be working on the final chapter, but I have a couple of shorts that I’ve written that I’m kinda proud of! And I’ve decided to post them here, though I may post them to FF.net while I’m working on the last chapter.

This one is a bit on the dramatic side, but features some wholesome friendship moments throughout, of course.

@blazing-shadows is the creator of both Drag-a-Long and Serena, so if you’d like to know more about them, you can either ask her or check out the Blazin’ Trails wiki for more!

It was well past sunset when Ricochet knocked on his deputy’s door. “Droop?” he called, knocking again. He hadn’t heard from the coyote in over three hours. Knocking a third time, he said, “Droop-a-Long, I know you’re in thar! Ya can’t ignore me forever!”

Dead silence was his only answer. Frowning, he opened the door. “Deputy Droop-a-Long?” he asked.

Droop-a-Long sat with his back to the door, slouched forward with his head in his hands. His bloody hat lay on the floor next to him, along with his necktie. His body shuddered with quiet sobs.

Quietly, Ricochet stepped inside and shut the door, enclosing them in darkness. Droop-a-Long didn’t move, nor acknowledge his presence.

I’ve never seen ‘im act like this before. He frowned. Then again, he’s never gotten treated like this before.

It’d been a few hours since it’d been revealed that Drag-a-Long Coyote had been the one who’d killed Serena’s husband and injured her son James, making her believe that he was dead for years and setting her on a path of destruction. And then she’d learned that Droop-a-Long was not only related to her former lover and husband’s killer but was dating her sister. To say that Serena didn’t take it well was an understatement; the scene that she’d caused at the jail would probably land her a few more years to her lengthy sentence. Ricochet had asked Droop-a-Long to subdue her, but she’d taken out her anger on him, kicking him full on in the face. Ricochet had gotten involved before the townspeople got any angrier, but the damage was already done. His deputy hadn’t said much of anything to him after the attack, and after court, he’d disappeared.

Now he knew what he’d been doing in his absence.

“You can’t stand there forever, Mr. Ricochet,” Droop-a-Long said at last.

“Well, you can’t sit thar forever,” Ricochet answered. “I came to take you to Doc’s.”

“I’m fine, Sheriff.”

“Sure wish I could be fine after takin’ a heel to the face like that,” Ricochet remarked.

Droop-a-Long groaned. “Leave me alone, Ricochet.”

“Sorry, can’t do that,” Ricochet said, walking over to his side. He didn’t sit on the bed right away, instead leaning on it. “I’m takin’ a page from your book an’ stayin’ right here.”

A pause. Then Droop-a-Long asked, “Do...do you think I’m bad to the bone like my brother, Mr. Ricochet?”

“What kinda fool question is that?” Ricochet replied, looking over at him. “I never have. The differences between you two are like night ‘n day.”

“Drag-a-Long ruined her life. Took her husband an’ son away from ‘er. Gave her another son an’ abused him. And he ruined your chance of happiness with Denise,” Droop-a-Long answered.

“I know what he’s done to her, an’ believe me, he’s getting put away for life for it,” he said. “But I don’t see what he has to do with you. You didn’t ruin her life, Droop-a-Long. And you haven’t caused trouble like him.”

“Yeah I have.” “How?”

“For one thing, folks harass ya because of me. I slow ya down too often, an’ you’ve gotten hurt ‘cause of my mistakes. Heck, even Denise has been hurt because of me, ‘cause Drag-a-Long wanted to use her to get to me,” he explained. “I...I do nothin’ but cause pain for the people I love. An’ if all I’m gonna do is cause chaos in your life, then maybe...”

“Maybe what?”

“Maybe I should leave,” he said. “All I’m doin’ is screwin’ everythin’ up for you, for Denise, for everyone...”

“If she hadn’t clocked ya in the head, I’d do it myself.” Droop-a-Long looked at him, surprised. “Mr. Ricochet-”

“Where did you get that idea, thinkin’ that nobody wants you around?” Ricochet interrupted, giving him a sharp glare. “You’ve got people who love you, for crying out loud!”

“But-”

“Say ‘but’ one more time, an’ I’ll give ya a swift kick in yours,” Ricochet said, “again.”

“...I’d really rather forget that,” Droop-a-Long replied. “Still...”

“Droop-a-Long, what you’ve done an’ what your brother’s done are two different things. You’ve made mistakes, but you aren’t a murderer,” he said. “That won’t change, no matter what she says.”

“You still threw yourself into danger to save me,” Droop-a-Long said.

“I wouldn’t sit there and let you die, and neither would anyone else in this town. We care about you, Droop,” he said, “and I don’t want ya thinkin’ that we don’t. We’re not judgin’ ya based on what your brother’s done. Other people might, but we won’t.”

“Ricochet...”

“An’ as for you thinkin’ that you’re nothin’ but a trouble magnet,” Ricochet started, “well, thar’s no denyin’ that.”

Even in the dark, he could feel him frown. “Right nice of you to mention it.”

“But I’m a trouble magnet, too. So, the way I see it, it’s inevitable that we attract trouble,” he said.

“Comes with bein’ a lawman...an’ a coyote,” Droop-a-Long said.

“Even so, you’re not like him. You’re nothin’ like Drag-a-Long. And the town of Hoop ‘n Holler is grateful for that.”

“You really mean that, Mr. Ricochet?”

“Of course I do,” he said. “You sure wouldn’t be my deputy if it weren’t true.”

“Mr. Ricochet...I-I’m sorry. I know you’re sick of hearin’ me beat myself up over this,” he said.

“Droop-a-Long, you’ve been there for me when I do it,” Ricochet answered. “I’ll be there for you when you need it, jus’ like you’ve been there for me.”

“Thanks, Sheriff.”

He felt the coyote start to shudder, and sat down on the bed at last. “You really didn’t think that we’d hurt ya ‘cause you’re related to Drag-a-Long, did ya?”

“Y-You know how folks are in this town. One minute they like ya, an’ the next...”

“Droop-a-Long, I had to stop a few of the men from shootin’ Serena on the spot,” Ricochet pointed out. “If that don’t prove anythin’, nothin’ will.”

“...I-I never even noticed.”

“You almost got a spur in your face. That’s the last thin’ you’re gonna notice,” Ricochet said. “Now come over here.”

Droop-a-Long did, and was most surprised when Ricochet wrapped an arm around his back. “Mr. Sheriff?”

“I can understand why you feel upset, Droop-a-Long. But what happened to her wasn’t your fault,” he said softly. “And I don’t want ya thinkin’ it was.”

“...Thanks, Ricochet,” Droop-a-Long said, returning the hug at last. “You’re welcome, Droopy.”

#hanna-barbera #ricochet rabbit #fan fic #short story

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quarantineddreamer · 3 years

Text

i’ve been absent, and i can’t be sorry (it’s been necessary), but i do miss this community and having the energy/time to participate.

in truth, it’s been a challenging past few months for me...

don’t want to bore anyone, so details below (tw: depression, anxiety, parental troubles, covid)

i was really fortunate to be really close to my family growing up. i had a great relationship with my parents. which is why it has been that much more painful for me this past year to have them slowly driven from me by the absurdity of current politics. i didn’t see it coming, i didn’t think my parents could become science deniers. and yet here i am...

i tried with everything i had to teach/reach them, but ultimately the stress of it all was causing my anxiety to reach extremely unhealthy levels. for my own health and sanity, i wrote them a long, heartfelt letter explaining why i would not be talking to them for the time being (as they refused to get vaccinated and began to behave dangerously, no masks, frequent outings, seeing lots of people). that was july.

august my parents visited my hometown. i did not see them or speak to them. my birthday passed, i did not see them or speak to them...

i spoke with my mother once, in september...and it’s all still just as bad. there was shouting, cursing, crying (mostly me tbh). she’s stubbornly clinging to her beliefs drilled into her by right-wing media. i wont get into them, but it’s conspiracy level bad... she got covid, she kept it from me and my brother until afterwards. miraculously she was okay despite taking “medicine” that has been proven to be ineffective against covid and potentially dangerous while sick to boot... it’s made her even more determined to cling to her insane theories about the vaccine, covid treatments, the government all of it...

i told her my life would continue without her and dad: i might get engaged (probably would have on my anniversary except my partner felt bad i wasnt talking to them at the time), married, who knows... covid isn’t going away anytime soon, and i cant agree to disagree with her on this. it matters too much to me that they be safe. if i let it go and something were to happen to her and my dad...i’d never forgive myself for it.

i’m not saying mine is the correct approach. i have been plagued with doubt and guilt off and on. my mom has used language that makes me feel like this is all my fault, for being anxious, for being depressed, for not just letting her have her dangerous opinions... but at the end of the day despite the pain and grief i feel for not having my parents right now, i am still better off than i was before. fewer panic attacks, able to focus at work, able to at least sleep some now.

i started anti-depressants when my mental health hit an all-time low during all of this, and they’ve been helping too. i really didn’t want to get back on them, but i believe they’ve saved my life.

sadly, between all this (and busy times at work) i’ve had very little time, focus, or motivation to write. i’ve barely been on here. to be completely honest, naps after work are common. the extra rest has become important. i’ve developed a sudden interest in true crime documentaries and sad movies?? i was very confused by this at first, since i’ve never ever had an interest before, but my therapist says its how im processing my trauma and grief lol

but why write all this out on tumblr, B? well... i like to scream into the abyss here, and i also want to be completely open about my struggles and mental health, because i was at my worst when i felt utterly alone, and if this post helps even one person who might be experiencing similar feel less alone than it’s worth it.

and i also wanted to let this community know why i’ve suddenly dropped off because it is a place that has brought my joy even during the chaos of the past year or so. i am going to be participating in the upcoming zkmbb and still have my other projects ready and waiting for me to return, but for now, the queue is going to be up and running and i’ll be a bit quieter as i fight my way through this and have to dedicate extra time to self-care.

i hope no one relates to this post, i really do, because it all hurts a lot and i dont want anyone to feel this pain, but if you do? you are a warrior, i admire your strength and courage --and i am sending you so much love.

best wishes all,

#long post #an explanation #some stream of consciousness #who knows #i just felt the urge to throw this all out there #personal

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a-little-slice-of-fandom · 4 years

Note

In derry girls, what did you think of the episode where clare came out? Im irish (republic) and gay so i love that it was included, but some of the language used makes me uncomfortable i guess? I get that NI in the 90s wasnt very accepting but the directors have said that they already portrayed it through rose coloured glasses so having michelle say d*ke feels unnecessary. I love the show though and can certainly look past it! I was just interested in what you thought :)))

Hey anon!

Personally I love this episode of Derry Girls! In fact it’s probably my favourite episodes. I already liked Clare as a character throughout the series, probably because I relate to her a bit too much, so to have her be revealed as gay was just like the icing on the cake. Good representation for northern Irish characters are few and far between, and gay northern Irish characters are basically non existent. Derry Girls was this hit TV show that provided many with the first chance to see themselves represented meaningfully on TV, and that includes myself.

However, I think there’s a lot of really important stuff in this episode that people either don’t notice or just don’t really talk about, which I do understand because Derry Girls is, at the end of the day, a comedy and it’s much more fun to quote characters like Aunt Sarah saying “you cannot move for lesbians these days” than to think about the darker side of Northern Ireland.

(T/W for homophobia discussion!!!)

(Also this sort of turned into a ramble about acceptance by the end of the post but I just have a lot of feelings on what Derry girls represents and I feel like non northern Irish viewers maybe don’t catch onto that because they don’t have the necessary context)

Derry Girls, as a show, is so interesting and personal to me because it manages to perfectly strike the balance between presenting Northern Ireland as a deeply flawed and divided country, but also presenting it as a place where people can be happy and live their lives to the fullest despite the ever present danger of the troubles. And that’s a genuinely refreshing portrayal of N.I that we usually don’t get. However I’d argue that if Derry Girls doesn’t at least try and illustrate, to some extent, the causal and very rampant homophobia of northern Ireland then it runs the risk of romanticising Northern Ireland at the time, which I think is incredibly dangerous. I do think that the show is intentionally more digestible and does filter things through rose tinted glasses, however I’d argue that simply glossing over the homophobia would have actually been a bit disrespectful to the queer history of Northern Ireland and could erase the experiences and struggles of the LGBTQ community in N.I, both then and now. If the show doesn’t acknowledge that things were shitty then we paint an inaccurate picture of what it was like, and arguably still is like, to be gay in Northern Ireland. And considering that Derry Girls is one of the very few good depictions of Northern Ireland, it’s incredibly important that it’s an honest depiction.

You specifically asked about Michelle, but I think it’s important to talk about Michelle and Erin in relation to one another, and how they are both products of their time and of a deeply homophobic society.

(Now I’m going to briefly discuss Michelle’s use of the d-slur here however I just want to acknowledge that I’m probably not the best person to talk about this since it’s a lesbian specific slur and I’m not a lesbian. I welcome any additions to this post!)

I think Michelle sort of represents the overt and “loud” homophobia that’s present in our society. Michelle saying the d-slur is far from the first homophobic thing she says. I mean It’s literally a running gag in series one that she calls James “gay” constantly. And the sad thing is that Michelle’s off handed comments throughout the series are incredibly realistic to what you’d hear in Northern Ireland even today. I remember the f-slur being chanted during break time at my primary school, without anyone fully understanding what that word meant. Michelle is a representation of the homophobia that’s deeply ingrained into N.I to the point where it’s not even thought about or even seen as an issue. I mean...no one ever really talks about Michelle’s comments. Now whether or not they had to include her saying a slur specifically to illustrate the homophobia of N.I is not for me to say. You could change that sentence in the script and I think the point of Michelle representing “loud” and homophobia would still stand.

On the other hand...I think Erin represents the much more insidious and “quiet” homophobia.

Firstly, she has no issue with capitalising off a very personal essay for her own gain, shrugs off any protests that this might be wrong and doesn’t consider how her actions may hurt the writer of this piece (who is later revealed to be Clare).

Even the language she uses is a bit uncomfortable, saying that “a real life lesbian walks among us”. Are lesbians wild animals or mythical creatures? That seems to be what Erin is implying here. Plus Erin tries to make it out to others such as Sister Michael that she’s doing this because she genuinely believes in equal rights and wishes to stick up for the LGBT community, but when Clare actually tries to come out Erin is clearly confused and she reacts very badly. I mean, Erin literally says she doesn’t want Clare to come out and demands she get back in the closet, and you can see how hurt Clare is by this reaction. And this scene is kind of played for laughs and I think that straight viewers probably found Erin’s reaction quite funny...but this scene hit way too close to home for me. It’s the classic “I have nothing against gay people, but I’d just rather I didn’t have a gay friend/child/co-worker because they make me uncomfortable” that’s way too common in Northern Ireland. It’s the idea that people can present themselves as liberal and open minded, but when finally confronted with something that doesn’t fit their narrative, their societal conditioning kicks in.

As a queer woman, it was never Michelle’s causal homophobia that made me uncomfortable, it was Erin’s reaction...because it hit way too close to home. It’s a perfect representation of the “quiet” homophobia that’s still a massive issue in Northern Ireland today.

(Also the context of when Derry Girls was released is super important! Series one of Derry Girls was released in 2018...but Gay marriage wasn’t actually legalised in Northern Ireland until January of 2020 and even then it was quite contested by conservatives. Now I’m not saying there’s social commentary here but that’s absolutely what I’m saying.)

Now I’m not saying that Michelle or Erin themselves are homophobic, nor am I saying that they’re bad people. I think that they are teenagers that have absorbed a lot of homophobic rhetoric due to the time and the society that they live in. Although Erin’s reaction to Clare trying to come out was painful to watch because it felt so real, I don’t think her reaction was malicious. Erin is a teenager who has grown up in a homophobic society and now doesn’t really know how to react to this new reality and probably didn’t realise how hurtful she was being to Clare. (This isn’t me trying to excuse her reaction, again I am part of the LGBT community and I’ve experienced that exact same reaction from people, it’s me trying to understand Erin’s reaction). Erin and Michelle have both absorbed rhetoric from their deeply homophobic society, and unfortunately this rhetoric continues.

Plus I just want to comment on this idea of acceptance and change in Derry Girls. Derry Girls is set in the time of great change in Northern Ireland, where people were sort of starting to accept that people are allowed to be British or Irish or both. But this process was messy and it wasn’t instantaneous. And the acceptance of the LGBTQ community in Northern Ireland was the exact same. It didn’t just happen overnight. It was a slow and messy process of change, of people re-evaluating their previous beliefs and being given the chance to grow as people and to learn how to accept others. That’s not to say people haven’t made mistakes in the past, because they have, but they’re willing to take the steps to change. I‘ve always thought the LGBTQ subplot of Derry Girls is sort of a parallel to the overall process of change in Northern Ireland in a political sense. And I think that flies over so many people’s heads because they don’t have that context of the political situation in N.I.

(And this theme of acceptance is seen again in the series finale of series 2 with James! ✨ Thematic consistency ✨ )

Because at the end of the day, Clare is accepted by the group. In fact, we see both the teenagers and the adults actively take steps to make her feel loved, welcome and accepted. My favourite moment will always be Granda Joe saying “you’re a very talented people” to Clare in the most earnest voice. Clare is still loved by her friends and although they don’t exactly know what they’re doing, they do try and show their support for her. They absolutely make mistakes, and they did hurt Clare, but they’re trying and I think that stands for a lot, especially at the time.

And I think all of what I discussed was absolutely necessary to Derry Girls. Derry Girls might be a somewhat rose tinted portrayal of Derry in the troubles, but it never tries to romanticise the situation that the teenagers were in (because no one should be romanticising the troubles). I think that this stance of portraying the harsh reality of homophobia in N.I is equally important to the narrative of Derry Girls. I see my own experiences in Clare, despite the fact it’s 30 years later, so if they didn’t at least attempt to show the homophobia in Ireland it would have felt disingenuous and too “perfect”. Again, I’m not saying that Michelle using the d slur was the right way to go about showing the “loud” homophobia of Northern Ireland. That’s not my decision to make. However, just because Derry Girls is making efforts to present Northern Ireland in a more digestible way to audiences (especially non northern Irish audiences) doesn’t mean they shouldn’t also acknowledge the reality of Northern Ireland at the time.

(This all kind of makes it sound like I want Clare to get hate crimed which I obviously do not want. I think the way that Derry Girls showed the issues in Northern Ireland were perfect and very much necessary, minus the use of the d-slur specifically which wasn’t necessary to the plot.)

Anyway thank you so much for the ask anon! This was much more rambly than my usual posts but I just really have a lot of opinions on Derry girls because it does mean a lot to me and it often does hit close to home.

#derry girls #michelle mallon #erin quinn #clare devlin #enya discusses: derry girls #long post

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theonekid123 · 4 years

Text

Why Don’t You Wanna Fuck Me?

Summar: Y/N sleeps around with a lot of people but seems to steer clear of Levi, He's unsure why so he tries to figure the mystery out.

Chapter 4

I haven't seen Levi for a few days, or at least I haven't interacted with him. "I could be analyzing it wrong but I think he's avoiding me," I told Hange poking my breakfast with my fork "Maybe he's nervous, he probably doesn't know how to approach you after all that" she replied taking a drink of her water "I don't think he's had his morning tea yet, maybe you should go make it for him" Moblit offered some advice, which was good advice. I got up giving them a quiet goodbye as I went to search the kitchen for tea. . . . *knock, knock* Why was I so nervous, I was just bringing him tea. I've never been nervous around him. "Come in," Levi said after a moment, it was slightly muffled. I opened the door and saw his back turned to me, where he sat at his desk. I walked up and gently placed the tea next to his hand, where he was filling out paperwork, and leaned on the wall next to the desk. He looked up with a slightly surprised look on his face, after a moment of awkward silence I spoke "It's tea, lemon ginger, I'm not sure if you like that type but that's what was in the kitchen so…" I didn't know what else to say he puck the cup up and took a sip before placing it back down "Um thank you, it..yeah it tastes fine." Was Captain Levi...flustered!? Stuttering?! "Well I'm glad it's ok, we should probably buy some more because I think we're running low" this seemed like such a one-sided awkward conversation "Oh y-yeah, I haven't gotten some in a while" he rushed the last part "Ok well I have the day off today if you want I can go pick some up, just tell me what you want" was this him trying…. "I uh I can come with you if you want but if not I c-can just-" "Yeah that's sounds great I leave in 20 minutes if that ok," I said walking out of the room before he could answer. That was a painful conversation. I've never heard Levi have so much trouble with a simple talk. "That was terrible," I said taking a seat in front of Hange and now Petra, who had replaced where Moblit was seated "Was it the Levi thing?" Petra asked "Yeah….he was so awkward, stuttering it was so one-sided," I said dropping my head onto the table dramatically "Well he's probably not used to that kind of attention" Hange replied "Well he agreed to go buy more tea with me today" "Maybe you can try to bond over that, and you HAVE to tell us how it went," Petra said excitedly. I and Petra were pretty good friends she had a thing for Levi for while, not that it would ever be a problem between us, but when I told her about what happened between us she was so excited. "Are you ready to leave" I heard a deep voice behind me, I picked my head up and looked to see Levi looking down at me, the only time he could look down on me, "Yeah let's go," I said and looked and saw Hange and Petra looking very suspicious. We walked out of the canteen and got some looks from other soldiers. Not shocking but damn, they don't mind their business. I can practically make a sandwich with this tension, I looked at the short man for a moment, I saw his cheeks turn light pink. “Stop it brat” he snapped turning his head to look directly in my eyes, I just know he got whiplash… “What im not allowed to look at you anymore”? I asked walking ahead of him to the small tea shop. I waited for him to catch up before accidentally looking at him again, he had an unnecessary glare “I wasn't looking at you captain I was looking for….” I never was the best at lying “Tch, I thought I sai-t-told you not call me that,” he said as he walked into the shop. I walk in short after finding him looking through the herbal teas “What’s your favorite kind?” why was it so difficult to have a conversation with this sleep-deprived gnome “Why are you speaking to me,” he asked still avoiding eye contact “Um maybe because that's what people do...talk to each other” I didn't think he was so dense, but I guess since I've never had a good relationship with him it would make sense. 5 minutes passed and we haven't spoken since “I enjoy black teas” I barely heard him say as he walked past me with a few small bags of tea leaves. He bought and left and I was just stuck. He spoke to me with me initiating it, well I guess I kinda did but still. I walked to the exit fully expecting to see him but he was waiting by the outside of the door when he same he started walking “I also like black teas, my favorite is probably earl gray, but my favorite teas, in general, is Lemon ginger,” said jogging to catch up, for someone who is the size of a child he sure is fast. We made some more small talk about tea on the way back, the original awkwardness and tension was cut in half, we walked to his office “Ah well, you have more tea now so mission accomplished right?” I said it was cut in half meaning there was still 50% of it… “I...I enjoyed y-our company” he said before quickly going in his office and slamming the door before I could even say anything . . . “STOP LAUGHING!! IT WASN'T FUNNY!...it was embarrassing” I mumbled the last part as Hange, Petra and Moblit laughed at my suffering “Ok ok, but at least he’s trying...I think” Petra said, it seemed like she was trying to convince herself of it “Yeah because slamming the door on my face trying” yeah I was kinda pouting but come on he didn't have to do all that I haven't seen Levi all day, I wasn't sure if he's avoiding me or "Y/N!" I turned to where I heard my name being called. It was Nanaba. I've spent so much time trying to figure Levi out that I haven't interacted with anyone outside of Hange and Petra. "Hey Nan, how are you," I asked the girl with a fond smile. Nanaba was a great friend, optimistic, sometimes cocky, but overall such a nice understanding woman, and she wasn't bad in bed either. "We have seen each other since a few weeks ago, I hope nothing changed or.." she trailed off chuckling awkwardly. I hadn't even realized it's been so long. That means I have slept with anyone in weeks, am I seriously changing myself for a simple man? "Oh no I'm sorry, I just been busy with the upcoming expedition, I was appointed temporary squad leader, it been a lot of stress" I tried to explain "Oh no I get it I was just worried, anyway, Erwin was asking for you, he's in his office," she said flashing me a smile before I walked away. Things have been slightly awkward since that ruined night. . . . "Commander Erwin" I greeted as I entered the room to see Levi also in the room. Odd "Y/N please have a seat" Erwin offered. I took the only open seat, next to Levi "Captain Levi has requested you be moved from your current position and join his squad, as you may well know Captain Levi handpick his squad based on skill and competence. However, the decision is your choice" he explained sliding over a piece of paper. I had to sign it for it to be official. "May I speak with Captain Levi for a moment?" I asked putting the paper down on the table. Levi looked shocked, Erwin got up and left, shutting the door. I looked at Levi and sighed, he looked confused "Why?" I asked rubbing my temples "you know why you're doing this Levi, why?" he wasn't answering my question "I said I would try, this is me trying" he scoffed crossing his legs "you never requested me before, it's not fair to other competent soldiers" "Y/N do you seriously think others WANT to join my squad. We take on the most dangerous missions" he was trying to explain the best he could, I can tell "and you want me o be apart of that, so you trying is asking me to join a suicide squad" I didn't understand what he was trying to prove. "I-*sigh* look Y/N you'll be safe in my team, I want you on it because..." he trailed off "You what Levi, give me a good reason I should join, and ill design the dumb paper" if he wanted me on the team she would tell me, right? Silence. that's what I got silence. "ok fine," I said getting up and walking towards the door, I heard a chair scrape the floor "I care about you ok!" he snapped, I was still confused "If you're with me I can pro-protect you," he said softer this time. it made sense now "Levi" I turned and looked at the man, he had a devastating look in his eyes . . .

#levi aot #levi x y/n #levi squad #hange zöe #snk moblit #nanaba aot #Erwin Smith #attack on titan #AoT #snk #petra aot #reiner braun #eren jäger #armin aot #annie leonhardt #bertolt hoover #mikasa ackerman #ymir #historia reiss

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