#i just want advice

[charlithium]

i dropped out of uni after 1 year due to health problems, but i've been thinking about it lately and i kinda wanna go back?

[coffee-stars]

why am i, the youngest person in my family, the only one besides my mom who actually acts like an adult? my brother throws fits like fucking toddler every other goddamn day and i'm the one left dealing with the consequences. he is four years older than me. screaming and breaking shit because the phone call he had to do was annoying and time consuming, almost like every phone call ever is.

Everyone wants to talk about the parentification of older siblings and yes that sucks but NO ONE talks about when the same treatment is given to the youngest. why do i have to deal with the aftermath of a 21 year old's tantrums? i'm trying to fucking graduate highschool still, i dont have fucking time for this. I'm sick of it.

I can't even try to get him to stop because he's OLDER THAN ME and STRONGER THAN ME. he acts like i'm stupid and entitled for asking him to stop screaming and breaking shit and if I continue to ask him to just be fucking quiet he'll try to hit me.

I just have to deal with the aftermath, deal with all the frantic and panicking animals, deal with ALL the consequences of HIS actions.

i'm fucking tired.

[i-am-a-fish]

I'm very sorry to ask something like this, I've really been struggling with this question, and I wanted to ask the combined wisdom of the people on this site

I would like to know why you keep going, and what drives you to keep living. I know there are a lot of reasons to stay alive and enjoy life, I can think of a few that personally resonate with me, but I really want to know what your reasons are

You do not have to comment on this if that's too big of an ask, and I'm very sorry for asking something like this, I really need someone's help, I feel like I don't have much purpose

Also if I may ask, please don't post any suicidal ideation in the comments of this post, I really can't handle something like that right now

[mokeonn]

"But if college was free, then people would abuse that and get useless degrees" hell yeah I would! If I could go to college without debt I would make it my job to get a degree in every little thing that interested me. I'd get a doctorate in film studies. I'd have a bachelor's degree for every science I like. I'd try to learn at least 5 languages with varying results. I would learn something "useful" like coding and then follow it up with a ""useless"" degree like art history. I'd be the world record speed run holder for getting every degree possible.

But I can't afford college without going into massive debt, so instead I spent the last 5 years trying to figure out what I am passionate enough about to consider going into debt over, because unfortunately being passionate about everything is extremely expensive to pursue.

[kaplisdb]

"just do what you think is best" I WOULDNT BE ASKING FOR ADVICE IF I KNEW WHAT WAS BEST, SILLY GOOSE

[kaspermoon]

nothing feels better than seeing your weight go down

[damian-lil-babybat]

They're judging their sibling's life decisions, and they are not impressed.

(And to think Jason and Dami have pit-madness in their system)

[xusbov]

"Starving yourself can make you feel euphoric Like a drug addict or an alcoholic" this line is living in my head forever

[inkskinned]

there are a lot of posts out there that are positive and healthy coping mechanisms for handling the holidays. this is not one of them :)

i think there's like. going to be times in your life you will be stuck in a social situation that you cannot escape from gracefully. i do not know why the internet doesn't believe these times exist. it's not always just that your physical safety is at risk - sometimes it's legit like "i just don't currently have the energy or time to put in the effort of responding to this." sometimes it's a coworker you hate so much. sometimes it's just like, fine, you know? like you know you can handle your aunt when she's cheerily horrible, but if you actually set a boundary around her, it's going to be weeks of fallout with your father.

i don't know why people think the answer is always just "cut them out!" or "don't let them get away with that!" because ... the real world is tricky and complicated. i think kind of a lot of us have an internal "radiation poisoning" meter for certain people. like - i'm talking about the ones who are absolutely giving you gradual ick damage. like, you can handle them, but you'll be exhausted.

and yes. you absolutely should listen to your therapist and the good posts about handling others and set good boundaries and take care of yourself. prioritize peace.

HOWEVER :) ...... since im often in a situation with a Gradual Sense of Ick person i cannot just "cut out" of my life (without losing someone else precious to me) - i have sort of developed the most. maladaptive form of mischief possible. because like, if i'm going to have to listen to this shit again, i like to have a little bit of private fun with it.

now! again, i am physically safe, just mentally drained by this man. you should only do this with people you are not in danger with. which leads me to my suggestions for when your Unfortunate Acquaintance shows up and says oh everyone pay attention to me.

my favorite word is "maybe!" said as brightly and happily as possible. whenever the Horrible Person starts in on a topic you do not want to go further with, particularly if they make a claim that you know to be inaccurate, do not respond to it. you and i have both tried to actually argue with this person, and it hasn't gone well, because this person just wants the drama of an argument. however, "maybe!" gives them literally nothing to go on. it is incredibly disarming. they are used to people having some response. they know they can't prove what they're saying, and maybe! treats them like the child they are. it dismisses them in the politest way possible.

i like to say maybe! and then, in their stunned silence, immediately change the subject. this is because i have adhd and i will have something unrelated to talk about, but if you can't think of topics fast enough, i recommend just pointing to something and saying, "isn't that lovely?" because fuck you let's bring in some positivity.

by the way. that second trick - of pointing to something and stating an opinion about it? - that just works on its own, like, 70% of the time. i picked it up from teaching preschoolers. it's an intentional "redirect". it stops children crying and it also stops grown adults from finishing their explanation on why women belong in kitchens. dual wielding!

keep it silly for yourself. i absolutely do not care if people think i'm fucking stupid (it's more fun if they do) and as a result i will purposefully misunderstand things just to see how long it takes them to realize i've completely removed them from the subject at hand. when they say "women aren't funny" i get to be like. "which women." "all women." "all women in america?" "no in the world." "like the mole people? the people in the world?" "what? no. like, alive." "oh are we not counting the mole people?" "what the fuck are you talking about." "you don't believe in the mole people?"

similarly, i play a personal game called "one up me." my Evil Acquaintance literally knows this game exists (my family & friends caught onto it and now also play it) and it always fucking gets him. i don't know why. you have to be willing to be a little free-spirited on this one, though. the trick is that when they make one of those horrible little bigoted or annoying comments they are always making, you need to go one unit weirder. not more intense, mind you - just more weird. "you don't look good in that dress." "yeah, actually, my other dress was covered in squid ink due to a mishap at the soup store." "you shouldn't wear such revealing clothes." "wait, what? oh shit. sorry, your son tears off strips when no one is looking and eats them. i swear it was longer before we left the building."

the point of "one up me" is to completely upend this person's narrative. we both know this person likes setting up situations where you cannot "win" and then they really like telling other people how badly you handled it. in a usual situation, if you respond "please don't say something that rude", you're a bitch. but if you let it happen, you're letting yourself be debased. they are not usually expecting door number three: unflappably odd. because what are they going to say when they're telling everyone how badly you behaved? "she said my son eats her dresses" ".... okay?"

if you can, form an allyship with someone whomst you can tagteam with. where they can pick up on your weird "soup store" story and run with it.

the following phrase is amazing and can be deployed for any situation: "oh, be nice :) it's the holidays!" i do not know why this works as often as it does. i'll say it for the most random shit. i think this is bc most of the time these people know they're being impolite, they just like to fight.

godbless. when in doubt, remember that you could always start stealing their pens.

the whole point of this is - if you can't escape. maybe see how long you can just be. like. a horrible little menace.

[chic-diet-inspired]

How to stay in control/How to not obsess over food

A huge issue with EDs is that it at time takes over your life. You are constantly thinking about food, how much calories it contains, how you can reduce your intake or crave certain foods. A lot of the time it takes over other aspects of your life. You might be functional but not productive.

Here are some things that I notice about myself that worked for me, and I hope they do for you too:

In case you go a little over your daily cal limit, DO NOT fret. This doesn't need to turn into a binge. Its okay. Your body needed that little extra fuel. Continuous calorie deficit can also cause the body to store excess fat. This IS working in your favor. NO need to scarf down that whole box of Pringles.

When eating out with people, try to get people to share dishes. You can say that you want to try a variety of different foods and so on but this helps. Make sure to take small spoonful of food. That way people would think that you are eating a lot. Chew longer. But try not to avoid going out. This will lift your mood. Change your chain of thoughts. Give yourself something else to think about.

Don't curb your craving. Have it but in small portions. I love me some burgers but The ones I like are 400-500 kcal. So I eat only half of it. I give the other half to my sister. Similarly you don't have to eat all the nuggets. This prevents binging. Eat that ramen you want but DO NOT eat the whole packet. Just half. Or you can do yourself a favor a go 1/3rd.

Focus on macros. Yes I know this is difficult and unnecessary but this helps you sustain. Part of ana is the dysfunctionality but eating healthy lets sustains you longer. Also promoting healthier weight loss.

This may not work for everyone but try not to MEAL PLAN. This makes you think excessively about food. Try to enjoy what is in front of you. Thinking of eating as a ritual. You are letting your body enjoy it. Pointing back to point number 1, its okay to eat a little over your calorie limit.

Rather meal planning, try task planning. Read self-help books. Try to get yourself, as productive as you can get. Study stock market or personal finance. You are as it is saving money by not eating, why not learn more ways to benefit financially.

FOOD IS NOT YOUR ENEMY. It isn't do all end all of your life. Understand that their are a lot of things in your life that are just as or not more important than this. List down things that you would do over eating. Start doing this. How about we start doing this?Post a list of things you had do rather than thinking of food or eating.

[sunshikilo]

wanderer's adventures in sumeru

THANK YOU FOR 70 FOLLOWERS BY THE WAY!! some news, i made an offical art twitter account! 🥳 its @/marsunshi and i linked it, right now im focused on genshin there and will be a lot more active, but im still going to try and post mcsm content here because i have Many wips ^^ i also have my ao3 linked there and i have a few drafts of mcsm works that i might post at some point..who knows

[chalkrub]

saw some mangy dog on the outskirts of town

[tubbytarchia]

AND THE UNDERDOG YURI TAKES THE WIN WOOOOO ok but that was fun lol, all the ships are super neat and I really didn't expect GemPearl to win but good job guys!?

[ravenssworld66]

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

[bunnieswithknives]

I feel bad for neglecting Hazel so much, I do have many thoughts about her.. and also a mermaid au that im probably not going to do anything with

[bon3yfa1ry]

Am I starving myself bc I am sick or am I starving myself so I can fit into my cunty little outfits again 🎀