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the-almighty-gob-john-langley · 6 months

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I think I'm starting to like some of this stuff about Allah's followers!

Now, I have to add upfront that I am not a religious person by any means, and converting to any religion just isn't my thing. However, I believe certain aspects of every faith bring value to our lives in one way or another.

I closed the previous blog post pondering where my mental processing journey would take me next as this previous post left much room for further and deeper thought on immigration and multiculturalism.

It would have been easy, almost too easy to jump to all manner of hypotheses and conclusions regarding the seemingly endless stream of illegals landing on our coastline pretty much on a daily basis and continue that narrative in the here and now: and who knows, I may well do at a later date.

As I recall, it was the word 'integration' that prompted the chain of thought which led me to address what Muslim migrants may bring to the British table, so to speak, and what we could take from their culture that would best benefit Britain as we head into the future and enable both sides to reach a satisfactory, and workable compromise, while upholding our Britishness and not becoming another Muslim country with Sharia laws dictating how our government must be led via religious doctrine.

Call me visionary, perhaps, but I don't believe I'm the only person seeing the opportunities in terms of law and order, and the benefits to our economy. Take for example shoplifting. The simple act of cutting off a perpetrator’s hand would save the retail sector as a whole over £7bn per annum in stock loss alone while sending a robust deterrent message to others. Just think about it for a minute. People complain about the rising cost of living and food poverty. So, let it sink in that a £7bn saving at the retail end would be a considerable saving to consumers if food prices were lower as a result. It's a no-brainer.

In addition, adopting such a measure would also go some way to appeasing the thousands of Muslim-owned 'corner shops' who struggle to provide a quality retail experience for their customers, and when robbed must momentarily give thought to what would happen to a perpetrator in the country of their ancestral heritage where theft of any description is punished by amputation. I can see this also serving as just punishment for graffiti idiots who randomly tag their names, spoil our environment and cost councils thousands of pounds of local taxpayers’ money to clean it off, only for it to be replaced by further wanton idiocy within days.

Another heinous crime, that now removes this conversation away from Muslim law, is nonetheless something I believe a great many people would be wholly in support of, and this is the castration of paedophiles. Although I quite like the idea of hanging people in public places, the cost benefits of castration against hanging are imminently more beneficial as there's no need for the expense of a stage and gallows (including labour costs to build). On top of this, it would also remove the cost of prison time for those who are convicted of child sex crimes. There again, rethinking the gallows concept, I suppose if it were a public stage, when hanging isn't taking place the area could be hired out for other public performances, such as death metal gigs, and similar. So, it could realistically turn a profit, whereas there's no money to be made from castration that I can think of at this moment.

Never mind, moving on to other matters I'm trying hard to veer away from the idea of stoning people to death as I think the public is way too volatile by nature and we'd end up in a situation where it wouldn't just be stones, it would be anything around the house that's redundant and fit for the tip. Like old, broken window frames. Perhaps an old ironing board, and nan's old tea set. So, in reality, there would be a head popping out of the ground surrounded by flytipping that's really bad for the environment. Unless, of course, local authorities were made to provide areas for public stoning.

In which case, the public could kill two birds with one stone, so to speak.

I guess that just leaves the criminally insane, serial rapists, and people who just like to repeat murder because there's nothing worth watching on the telly, or Ant and Dec occupying Saturday nights and trips to the jungle simply drove them to it. Oh, and terrorists as well, let's not forget! Surely there has to be some cost-saving benefits to the public here, right? Have I covered throwing people off of buildings (Sharia stylie) yet? One moment please, while I read back.

No, apparently I haven't. Now, to my best knowledge, it costs somewhere around £1.000 per week to keep a prisoner incarcerated. So, if someone is found to be criminally insane, a serial rapist, or a multiple murderer and serving only a twenty-year sentence, for example, by my childlike mathematic ability that works out to over a million quid. Or, put another way, what I aspire to win on the lottery each week to keep me in fags, hot chocolate, and serve three cats that cost me a fortune the longer they live as I seem to spend more on them than I do on myself.

Anyway, where was I? Ah yes, throwing people off of tall buildings. Now, forgetting gay people, I completely understand people's revulsion to any suggestion of the sort. However, on the plus side, the mere mention of child killers, and serial rapists ending their days in such a way would get the attention of just about everyone. In fact, I'd go as far as to say there'd likely be quite a big audience for such an event, and perhaps tickets could be sold at maybe £10 each, it would more than cover any outlay and show a healthy profit that could be put towards filling potholes in our roads, for example. Other suggestions are welcome, by the way.

It goes without saying, I hope, that any suggestion of exclaiming "Allahu Akbar" immediately before launching anyone toward their death would be highly inappropriate, as not only would it give false hope to our Muslim friends that we are fully adopting their ways, I can see issues around plagiarism too. Or worse still accusations of 'cultural misappropriation'.

Let's not forget the flak white women get for daring to have their hair in dreadlocks. So, I've come up with a suggestion which, I accept, may need a little more work, but I'm sure you'll get the gist of it, even in its rough draft stage, to the rhythm of that well-known classic, Humpty Dumpty.

"Noncie-noncie sat on a wall.

Noncie-noncie had a great fall.

Ambulance services and supporting policemen,

Couldn't put noncie together again".

Okay, I admit it has its flaws, and before all you equality and diversity jobsworths start foaming at the mouth about it being sexist and non-inclusive of women, it had to bloody rhyme, alright! Now, get over yourselves and move on. Although having said that, further thought needs to be given to equality while being somewhat sensitive around the small issue of the predilection, some, but far from all Muslims have for under-age females in this country. In this respect, and in the spirit of equal opportunity and cooperation, I feel it only fair that Muslim kiddy-fiddlers should be treated with the same proportionality as their white counterparts, with no exceptions, and off the building ye go.

Afghanistan, Pakistan, and other such places this is not. Here, we would adopt a more responsible attitude towards terminating people, and we have to give thought to health and safety rules, crowd control, first-aiders on-site for those who may faint as the body journeys downwards, and loos for those who may experience uncontrollable bowel movements or bladder irregularities, etc. In the UK we wouldn't just throw people off building tops willy-nilly. Things have to be properly planned, such as screens around where the body may land so as not to cause distress to the squeamish in such a way that they may seek a refund on their ticket cost, and more.

All in all, I think with a little work in consultation with our Muslim friends, and some very robust terms of reference in any proposed agreement between the parties, I reckon we could be on to a winner: or at the very least a starter for ten. I think that's pretty much it really. Oh, except for one more rather simple, but again somewhat sensitive issue that would go some way toward better relations.

First of all, a disproportionate amount of your brothers are under the impression that taking a boat ride from France to England will solve all their problems, only to end up in a camp somewhere while their status is verified. It would appear that a great many of your Islamic faith are being highly disrespectful to Allah, in as much as they are denying their faith by converting to Christianity under false pretences. Obviously, their commitment to Christianity would need to be tested in the same way as would a Christian to Islam if it were the other way around. So, the proposal is that rather like to television programmes 'Big Brother' and 'I'm a Celebrity' they are challenged by eating roast pork dinners, pork scratchings, ham salads and sandwiches, and a few pints of beer to wash it all down.

If they can survive one week of this, and recite the Lord’s Prayer and a few Hail Marys, sing 'Abide with Me' and 'Jerusalem' then baptism and full conversion to Christianity will look very promising for them. If, on the other hand, they fail all of this, then with regret, they'll be put on the flight list to Rwanda and given a thousand-pound consolation prize. Seems fair to me, wouldn’t you agree?

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#john langley #john langley blog #bristol #john langley bristol writer #john langley author #john langley tumblr #allah #allahuakbar #islamic #muslim #capital punishment #death penalty #prisons #incarceration #sharia #satire #religion #humour

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seppubro · 8 months

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draw bro with long hair plplease god im begging you please just draw him native coded more i need it,.?,

#every time i find an artist who draws bro right i scroll for two seconds on their blog and get flashbanged by striderc*est #death penalty

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coolfoxykitkat · 2 years

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Me, eating lucky charms, minding my own business: :)

Guy I know: Hey.

Me: :) Hey-

Guy: Do you think mansplaining is real?

Me: :/

#personal rambles #i was like ‘wtf im eatkng lucky charms’ and he was like ok but what do you think and why #anyway afterward he was like ‘thank you for enlightening me’#my man i am EATING LUCKY CHARMS LEAVE ME ALONE #literally that meme about anon asking an rp blog opinions on the death penalty

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frigidwife · 2 months

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i would like to ask ur opinion on this bc u are one of maybe 5-6 iwtv blogs that i trust and i don't know if i am simply biased but i think u are very thoughtful and fair in ur analysis of iwtv. because even among self-proclaimed louis lovers/understanders, i have seen the idea that louis "could not and would not" save claudia from the fire, or choose her over armand, or that louis was also abusive to claudia if not the Most abusive, or that he "let" lestat/armand destroy her. and i agree that louis failed claudia in some ways (though saying that feels much too vague at this point) and that liking characters doesn't mean apologizing for their flaws and i understand the reflex to spotlight claudia's mistreatment as many fans are so quick to dismiss her importance. but i think people get so caught up in emphasizing claudia's tragedy that they end up falling into victim-blaming rhetoric and ironically de-legitimizing really important aspects of her character and impact. so i wanted to ask though, how do you think louis actually did fail claudia? and should we call claudia's death louis' failure?

ty for valuing my opinion 🥹 i agree w you completely people emphasize claudia's tragedy at total expense of her personality...which sucks bc i love her personality...i think louis actually primarily failed claudia in the exact way that every single parent fails their child. if you've read frankenstein it's about the inherent monstrosity of creation--inherent hubris of creating something whether it's a creature, a work of art (the novel itself!), or a child (shelley's miscarriages and her relationship with her parents haunt the novel). you create something that is a part of you and a mirror of you, you confer your expectations as naturally as breathing, even with the best of intentions, but now the creature/novel/child exists outside of you, outside of your body and your imagination, autonomous, with desires and effects you couldn't have dreamt of, and there is something terrifying and painful in that chasm even in the best of conditions. and this is more broadly true of loving anyone. and in that sense i don't think louis's turning of claudia is really more selfish than having a child ever is. it's not an aberrant or evil desire. so that's one layer.

and then the next layer is the conditions. louis cannot stop seeing claudia as his daughter, even if he calls her sister. she'll always be his daughter. and again this is an almost fundamental condition of being a parent. even if ur parents make an effort--and louis is making an effort--to see you as equals, that foundation is underlying it and can't come undone. the problem is that normally, even if maybe you're always a baby to your mom deep down, you're also functionally an adult in the real world. but claudia is an adult who is constantly belittled and condescended to and treated as a child from all corners. so she goes from louis who can't see her as her own person because he cant stop being her parent to an outside world that can't see her as her own person bc it's structured to deny children's autonomy, and girls' in particular, and especially black girls'. AND THEN the abuse. “you chose lestat over her again and again” i think people take daniel as word of god a lot even when the show has demonstrated that daniel is less than careful talking and thinking about abuse, when it comes to both louis and claudia. Louis chooses to take lestat back, can’t kill him for good, chooses to commit to armand, tells her to put up with the coven’s abuse. those are choices that hurt claudia terribly. but they also exist in the context of abuse. over two decades of debilitating destroying violence and then a new man who tracks him down and dangles his and claudia’s life over him as penalty from the jump. louis is constantly calculating risk based on what they’ve experienced and the same way claudia’s trauma drives her into the waiting arms of a cult, louis’s means he sees enduring as his strongest means of survival . and even from before that from keeping his family afloat under jim crow —performance, self sacrifice at the expense of closeness with grace and paul; using “weakness to rise”. so when louis tells claudia to endure its bc he cannot imagine a way out. which is a failure sure and something claudia can and does resent him deeply for but is entirely and categorically different from what lestat and armand inflict on her . his “choosing armand” is never really about him liking armand particularly it’s him deciding he knows what’s best for both of them—again seeing claudia as his child—to the extent that he won’t even tell her about armand knowing their secret.

this isn’t selfless it’s foolish it’s prideful but the story very clearly is not Louis picking a man over his daughter. (claudia calls out what he wants in a companion in 2.01—“if he can’t call you pretty and take you ballroom dancing” Armand won’t even light his cigarette). i think people have constructed this narrative which funnily enough is the exact same one armand uses to gaslight louis with in 2.05 ("you threw around her name for cover, but you always went back to talking about him" or something like that). Which is really obviously a victim blaming narrative lol like the amount of joke posts that r essentially saying Maybe if louis wasn’t so cock hungry his daughter wouldn’t be dead. Okay?? i think its absolutely fucking insane to call her death louis's particular failure when she was lynched. by armand

and you can tell by episode 6 claudia has realized louis isn’t picking armand over her. her frustration with him is with this martyrdom that she never asked for or wanted, that clearly isn’t “you and me” either. Like you cannot tell me she believes “imagine me without the burden of her” means louis is happy and relieved to see her go Bc she’s not stupid and she’s seen him happy before. If she really thought he meant something like that she wouldn’t behave towards him as she does in the rest of ep 6 and doing the trial. completely ignoring her personality

there is also a hopefully really small subset of people who think pointing out how patriarchy works Is gender essentialism who posit louis as the primary perpetrator of misogynoir in order to justify their fundamental queer human right to call lestat femme . and then expect pats on the back for acknowledging #intersectionality . which is. absurd.

#sorry for talking so much about frankenstein

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keepwaitingforyou · 2 months

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do you have any facts about dylann that are your favourites? could you share them with us? :3

I already answered this question this morning on my other blog but I'll give some more bc why not

there are supposedly hundreds more photos that he took that still haven't been released to the public

he wrote a letter to tucker carlson

apparently he'd leave in the middle of conversations and go listen to music in his car

in his interrogation, he very incorrectly guessed how long he stayed in the church and forgot what month and day of the week it was

when someone would try to quote dylann, they'd have to get every word exactly how he said it, or else he would say that they're wrong

in 2016 he said he'd rather have bernie sanders as the president than donald trump or hillary clinton

he thought his message would get across better if there were only black people on the jury because he thought white people would want to give him the death penalty so they wouldn't seem racist

he got passport photos taken at cvs. i have no clue why.

when he was a kid, whenever he'd go out to eat with his family he'd almost always order spaghetti

there was a map of the world on the wall of his bathroom and a chair right next to the toilet

and here are the facts from my other post since that blog got termed anyway:

- I've never seen anyone bring this up, but in his bank statements it shows that he went to an aquarium in charleston

- Dylann had a friend who died in November 2013, and he left a tribute on his obituary in May 2015

- his favorite photo is the one he took with the slave mannequins at boone hall plantation

- Dylann bought the rhodesia and apartheid south africa patches on his jacket on the same day that he registered the lastrhodesian.com domain in February 2015, but didn't put his manifesto on his website until the day of the shooting

- he seemed to mostly listen to music on cassette tapes, and asked someone on stormfront if they'd be willing to sell cassettes to him

- he's been described by people who have talked with him and saw him after the shooting as "gentle", "childlike", "polite", "mostly passive and submissive in dealing with others", "wary and sensitive"

- at one point he said he wanted to get a job as a retail worker but thought no one would hire him because of the way he looks

- when dylann was in middle school, he saw a band live and then asked his mom if they could stay in their house. his mom's boyfriend at the time allowed it and the band slept in the basement

- when he was a kid he went on vacation with his family to the florida keys, which was the only time his dad was able to remember dylann befriending someone else

- dylann wanted to change his middle name

- some of his other interests before white nationalism were Star Wars, Maple Story, Bionicles, dogs, and dinosaurs

- Dylann is too shy, socially inept, and easily embarrassed to engage in conversation a lot of the time. He speaks softly and usually only gives one or two word answers. When he'd ask the manager at Clark's for a day off of work, he'd "wring his hands in nervousness"

#dylannstormroof

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