#the ratio is even worse now btw

[autism69]

lmaoo

[matan4il]

Thank you for spreading information and sources! I have seen so much misinformation or straight up propaganda that it seems hard sometimes to determine what is and isn’t true.

Just yesterday, in my high school library, a few people were quite loudly talking about the white phosphorous claim, and were calling Israel a “genocidal settler state”.

I tried to refute them, and the argument got pretty loud, and was attracting others. I wasn’t worried about it getting violent, and I thought that they were obviously just fed misinformation. After all, we’re high schoolers, surely they wouldn’t just choose to hate an ethnic group… right?

And then I clearly heard one of the kids watching say “Fucking kike”.

I honestly didn’t really know what to do, I didn’t know what it meant, but it was clear that it was some kind of derogatory slur.

All this to mean, I am not Jewish, I do not even “look” Jewish, and I was called a slur for simply speaking up against antisemitism. I can’t imagine how hard it must be for you and all other Jews and Israelis right now.

Please stay safe, and know that at least some of us support you!

Am Yisrael Chai!

Hi lovely! *hugs* Thank you so much for standing up for Jewish people. Especially when it is difficult and scary. I hope you're okay! And thank you again, SO MUCH, for doing what's right. I am REALLY proud of you, and I hope you're also proud of yourself, because you deserve to be! *sends even more hugs and love*

Since you mentioned the white phosphorus lie, I'm gonna add a vid regarding that for you at the end.

You're right, they have been fed misinformation, and repetitive, false slogans, that invoke righteous rage, and sound righteous when people repeat them, but which have little to do with reality. These young people are literally being indoctrinated to see Israel as the greatest of evils, even while the Iranian and Syrian regimes are butchering their own people, as just random examples of much greater evils that are currently happening in the world, and have been for a long while. Just to get a perspective, here's a graph of the bloodiest conflicts ever:

Notice that it starts at 3 million fatalities. The Israeli-Arab conflict, with all of the buzz around it, isn't even on here. Why? Because the number of fatalities altogether, counting Israelis, pre-state Jews, Palestinians and non-Palestinian Arabs, is just a little under 120,000 people. Another example of the disproportion between how many people died in this conflict, and how much attention it gets (making it seem as being far worse than it is) can be seen in this map:

So as I hope you can see, you're looking at the ratio between the number of fatalities and the internet pages dedicated to them.

I find the most interesting bit on the map being the victims at Mariupol. I've seen this website rage that white people get more attention than POC. Well, you can see that the attention to Gazans is way more than what the people of Mariupol got.

So what makes the Israeli-Arab conflict get so much more attention that it deserves, based on its severity (as measured by the number of people killed)? There's actually NOTHING unique about it, except... that it involves the one Jewish state. Attack Israel, and you get to attack Jews. Attack Israel, and you get to attack the biggest Jewish community in the world. Attack Israel, and you get to attack and de-legitimize the country meant to serve as the Jewish safe haven. And if the high schoolers you were confronting got a diet of antisemitism at home, or from their friends, or they were simply sold this "social justice" narrative, that really stems from antisemitism, then yeah, they're going to be spreading antisemitism themselves.

And as I promised, the vid about the white phosphorus lie (it's a lie that I've heard every time Israel has been fighting Hamas, BTW. It's a lie every single time):

Hope you're taking care of yourself! And thank you again! xoxox

(for all of my updates and ask replies regarding Israel, click here)

[class-1b-bull]

Hi, could you do class headcanons of them with a s/o who Loves to info-dump on history horros?

Basically going “Did you know about lobotomies..? It was a pre-quirk procedure that involved sticking a giant needle trough the eye of an awake patient to “Fix their brain”, it only made it worse though.

(Btw if you feel this like to dark feel free to deny it, also glad to have you back 👋🏼❤️)

Not proofread we die like men

Awase - every time you tell him something like that he gets a little more worried about how life was before quirks lmao. Like people willingly poked at eachothers brains? Hes more surprised every time and its hilarious

Sen - he uses any information you gave him to win internet arguments. Instead of L + Ratio he hits them with the horrors of history to shut them up (anyways unrelated but he bullies kids in video games)

Kamakiri - 'im gonna give you a fucking lobotomy if you dont stfu.' He will act like he dosent care but hes secretly kinda interested in it all. If he has questions about it he will look them up himself later instead of asking.

Kuroiro - the dark history ranting is his favorite thing ever. He spends a little bit of his free time looking up some dark history himself so he can maybe tell you about something you haven't learned yet yk.

Kendo - idcidc shes a major history nerd. She loves all things history related so even if its a bit dark shes interested. Shes only interested in history because shes a strong believer of learning from your mistakes and whatnot and she thinks its important to know.

Kodai - shes indifferent about it. She thinks its a little weird but shes not one to judge since everyone has their stranger side ykyk? She just silently listens along to whatever her s/o is ranting about this time lmao

Komori - she finds it a little creepy but at the same time she cant stop listening to her s/o talk about it lmao. (Just dont give her these 'fun facts' late at night or else she might not be able to sleep)

Shiozaki - shes happy to hear you talking about something your interested it but she does worry a bit about those who were affected in the past by something thats just a fun fact now (if that makes sense) like shes interested in the topic but at the same time it makes her a little sad that people actually had to get lobotomys at one point ya know?

Shishida - he seems like the type to be excited to learn something new so every time his s/o tells him about something that happened a long time ago like that hes real happy. (Despite how dark it is)

Shoda - ngl he finds it a bit scary lmao. He finds it interesting and hes happy to hear you talk about it but at the same time hes a bit intimidated

Pony - she thinks its cool and creepy at the same time. Like shes happy and excited to see her s/o talk about something their interested in but at the same time why did it have to be that of all things.

Tsubaraba - he will listen to his s/o for hours at a time it doesn't matter to him what theyre talking about. He is a little intimidated but its fine lmaoo

Tetsutetsu - he thinks your super smart for knowing so much about things like that and he tries his best to give imput but most of it comes out as him saying 'torture dosent seem manly' or smthn like that lmao

Tokage - she loves when her s/o starts to ramble about one of the creepy facts they like. She always gives the most over the top reactions too lmao

Manga - he likes listening to you talk about the creepy stuff his s/o likes while drawing. Its kinda funny since his s/o will tell him about smthn creepy asf and then manga will just show them the cat he just drew.

Honenuki - he thinks its cool and actually becomes really interested in the topic while hes listening to his s/o talk about it. He starts to ask questions and starts going on his own little rambles when hes with them

Bondo - hes a little scared ngl but at the same time he thinks its really cute to watch his s/o ramble lol. So overall hes kinda 50/50 about his s/o's lobotomy rants lmaoo

Monoma - he will talk so much trash lmao. He'll tell his s/o that its creepy or whatnot but at the same time he'll get mad if they stop talking to him about it.

Reiko - she does the exact same thing. So whenever you two are near eachother you just tell eachother all about darker parts of history lmao. 'Did you know about lobotomys?' Vs 'did you know about Japanese(?) water torture?'

Rin - at first he thinks its a bit strange or maybe even creepy but he warms up to the fun facts every now and then. He even gains a bit of an interest himself. Not enough of an interest research it but still.

Gif anime - dungeon meshi

[writing-for-life]

Thank you for an amazing 2023!

About metas, fics and sparkly things…

This won’t be short, but you wouldn’t expect that from me, would you? 🤣

I’ve been on Tumblr for just a bit over a year because I needed to get off my family’s back after my three decades long Sandman brain-rot got worse again due to the Netflix series. I hovered around a handful of followers for months until things exploded (I still don’t know why tbh, I think it was one particular meta that kicked things off a bit), and I somehow ended up with hundreds of followers, which might not be much to some, but it’s a lot for me.

So to all of you I’d like to say: Thank you for being here. I don’t always manage to stay on top of things because my notifs are a mess and I lose track, plus I have a rather busy life and can often only write in batches and then queue, but each of you is appreciated, even if I accidentally forget to get back to you or if we aren’t mutuals.

I’ve made such lovely connections over the last year—my interest in The Sandman definitely does not align with the main focus that shan’t be named, and I’m glad that you folks are out there. You probably know who you are.

Now to the obligatory “your posts wrapped” thing—and I’m only doing it because I need to make a point (of course I do 🤣).

News and art

My by far most successful posts have been casting/shooting news and pretty pictures (two examples are linked). And I’m grateful for all the reblogs and likes of those, but apart from curating them, they’re not really me. They’re someone else’s work.

Meta analysis

Then you have my metas, which make up the bulk of the other posts that are doing quite well (you can find all of them in my pinned post).

Even if it wasn’t my most “successful” one (what does that even mean?), this one meant the most to me:

I love writing metas, whether they cover literary concepts, psychology, music or art because I’m a permanently brain-frazzled multi-hyphenate who has to talk about everything that won’t leave her alone.

I also love when you’re sending me asks btw. For the latter, I hope they pick up again in 2024 because they really nosedived since I switched off anonymous asks (which I won’t change, soz) after some people just thought it’s good sport to be an arse about my not being here to pray at the altar of the ship. I guess we have briefly covered the ugly side of Tumblr, too, then.

Writing

But what I'm most proud of when I think of all the things I've done in 2023 is my fiction and poetry. And that's both a happy and slightly sad thing to address.

My 31 Haikus for Sandtober started as a bit of fun, but they’ve developed a life of their own, and people seemingly liked them. The post also contains a bit of my fan-art:

I still intend to turn them into a hardcover at some point, but I won’t be able to create all the artwork myself, so if you’re a fan-artist and want to know what I’m thinking of, please get in touch (I’ll still talk about this in more detail at some point though).

The other thing I’m incredibly proud of is “The Light of Stars”.

I started it as a NaNoWriMo project in 2022 (I always use NaNo to do something that is less stressful than my professional writing projects), wrote it in a bit more than a month—and then did nothing with near 80,000 words until June 2023.

And then I thought “Fuck it,” and published it on Ao3. It’s a canon x OC fic, and this is where it gets a bit sad. Because for most of us writers, these are never the posts that get most engagement (the ratio is really something like 100 : 1 — 500 for a shitpost, 5 for an average writing post).

On Ao3, it gradually picked up because I published chapter after chapter, and I think I can say that it’s done fairly well over there in terms of engagement for an OC fic, and above all how people engage with it. Because it’s a bit deeper despite being romance, it deals with heavy topics like grief, and I’m so glad to have touched a few people’s hearts with it, and that it was meaningful to them. So much so that you all convinced me to write a sequel.

But here’s the thing: The general engagement with writing, especially non-explicit, non-ship, non-readerY/N on Tumblr is very, very low.

Writers who write canon x OC are still struggling to be heard through the noise (it’s not just me, I’ve had many conversations about this, so I’ll just say: I’ll speak for many of us). There are basically hardly any events for us to participate in (most of us only ever do so if we shift to canon one-shots, poetry or metas. If we don’t: Again, no one cares), and fandom often actively chooses to ignore us because “all OCs are self-inserts, ew.” Which is patently not true, and I could go on a long rant now why many canon x canon fics are very obvious self-inserts, which I won’t.

But even if all OCs were self-inserts, even if all characters were—so what? All writing is to a degree based on self-insertion because it comes from our brains—it’s not a bad thing. But apparently, it becomes a bad thing if the character is an OC, heaven knows why.

So if I had one wish (I’m allowed one, right?) for 2024, it would be that people engage more with OC fics and include them more in community events. That fandom, which prides itself in community, includes writers who don’t write for (the main) ship/s a bit more, especially if they don’t write smut (which I personally even do professionally, but I don’t want to have to do it in fanfic just to get engagement). I’m not holding my breath because I know that’s not where fandom’s oft single-minded focus lies, but a girl can dream, right?

And with that, I want to get to my proudest accomplishments of them all:

Being the curator queen of the sparkle realms:

Being one (arguably the main) instigator of the maddest crack ship that has ever graced (?) the face of the earth, spawned the most unhinged discussion (much truth in it though 🤣) and even NSFW fanart. I promise I’ll write that fic about Murphy and his Cool Hat:

Have a lovely 2024!

[dream-critical]

The funniest thing rn is that most hate towards Dream on twt is not even coming from the Quackity fans 💀 He's literally been ratioed by a meme with " I ain't reading all that" written on it. It's so wild that he wrote this novel over being left on read.

Moving on, if he didn't intend to manipulate and send hate to Quackity, then why did he mention actual serious harassment in a thread about minecraft servers!

There's no proof that a q fan specifically harassed him and Quackity responding to him would've changed nothing.

The hate was calming down the past few days, but that essay long tweet now has generated like 10x the amount of drama.

At this point, this is just attention seeking.

I've literally seen gimmick and automated accounts breaking character to ratio him it's wild gndncndncjdj

Trying to justify the thread by saying he's speaking out for his own safety is insane btw bc all of this is so going to make everything worse and also everyone knows he did this for attention like

[tmema]

L + ratio + you are not the hero of this story → the narrative ends and the hero’s role is fulfilled but you are not the hero therefore you are able to be “asked” to fill another role in a different narrative and because peace was not meant for you you have little choice but to accept → this narrative starts off much like the one you just lived through but things are different this time because what was once a sworn enemy is now an ally + there are horrors beyond even your comprehension + it’s worse than last time → events occur which make you wish you were back in your former role when things seemed simpler and much less severe when your role was loathed but at the very least understood → the new narrative you are trapped in is not a Hero’s Journey + it is not a straight line from start to finish + “go directly to jail do not pass go do not collect $200″ except when your piece is placed on the jail square it is not a square at all is a trapdoor and there’s nowhere to go but down → there are things that happen to the hero of the story that happens to no one else and then there are the things that happen to everyone else → have fun being the bearer of the curse btw

[biggiedraws]

i said i would talk about pi vs tau, and what better day than pi day lmao (shout out to vi hart for this idea, and also for teaching me about tau in the first place. check out their youtube its so fun)

first of all. im assuming yall are familiar with pi. the constant defined by the ratio between the circumference and diameter of a circle, 3.14159.... blah blah blah. you know it. so whats tau? well, its 2*pi, 6.283185...... but more importantly, its the ratio between the circumference and the RADIUS of a circle. it serves functionally the same purpose as pi, except its way more intuitive and makes more sense in almost every context

and the main reason its so much better is, beyond elementary school, the diameter is almost never used. every formula has the radius in it, INCLUDING the one for finding the circumference! i swear, the only time i saw C=pi*d is when i first learned basic circle geometry. ever since then its been C=2*pi*r. radius is used to find the area of a circle and the volume of a sphere. the radius of The Unit Circle is 1. the equation of a circle is x^2 + y^2 = r^2. the radius is even in the DEFINITION of a circle! "all points are equal distance from the center" thats the radius! this is all very basic circle geometry and it all uses the radius. so WHY are we still using the constant thats defined by the diameter???

and it gets even worse when you learn about RADIANS. quick rundown on what radians are: you have a circle. start at one point on the circumference, travel along the circumference for a distance of 1 radius. the angle formed by that pizza slice is 1 radian (its a little under 60 degrees). since we know that the ratio between circumference and radius is tau (or 2pi), there are tau radians in a circle. i.e you can travel that distance of 1 radius 6 times (plus a little extra, bc tau is 6.28....) before you get back to the start.

look me in the eyes and tell me it makes ANY sense that the number of radians in a circle is 2pi. if youre going to use the relationship between the circumference and the radius to define angles, why wouldnt you use the constant that relates the circumference and the RADIUS??? if you use pi, then the whole circle is 2pi radians. why is the whole 2?? its not the unit semicircle! using pi means pi/2 radians isnt halfway around the circle, its a quarter of the way around. but tau/2 radians IS halfway around, because 1 tau is the whole circle. using tau is way more intuitive.

now, using pi for radians COULD make sense, if radians used the diameter instead of the radius (although they would probably have a different name haha). then they would be twice as big and there would be half as many in a circle, making it pi instead of 2pi. but we would never do that, because no one ever uses the diameter for anything. everything i listed above that uses the radius becomes either clunky or downright useless if you use the diameter instead. i mean, can you imagine if the unit circle had a DIAMETER of 1??? it loses all of the properties that make it worth using! its just so inconsistent. if youre going to use the radius for everything, then use it for EVERYTHING. including the constant.

anyway. join me in celebrating tau day on june 28th. down with pi!!

[btw this is meant to be all in good fun. i know it sounds like im very passionate about this, but im well aware that its an insignificant issue and im not genuinely rallying for change. its just fun finding very small hills to die on! like, dont even get me STARTED on the problems with base 10.....]

[quillsanddaydreams]

4, 5, 10, 19 and 21 for the weird writers ask game please ! Love ya wifey~ hope you're having a nice day btw

4. What’s a word that makes you go absolutely feral?

Not technically a word, but there's this phrase I hate and it's "chewed on the bottom lip". It's just the mental image and the way it's usually put forward in stories that makes me go c r i n g e. Maybe in the right context one day, I'd like it. But until yet— 🥲😩

5. Do you have any writing superstitions? What are they and why are they 100% true?

Not really no. One thing I do find true for me though is, that I can get more emotional/raw emotions out while using pen and paper than typing it out. And docs always work better for correcting/adding on.

10. Has a piece of writing ever “haunted” you? Has your own writing haunted you? What does that mean to you?

I don't know if you'd call this "haunted" but the very first piece I wrote, it was the most ansty, emotional story. And no matter how I hate the timeline and the feelings I brought into it now, the simple fact is that if I read it again, I'd feel the writing in my bones still. Because at that point of time I loved that character and the story overwhelmingly much and it came out exactly what it was supposed to be, a teenage fanfiction.

19. Tell me a story about your writing journey. When did you start? Why did you start? Were there bumps along the way? Where are you now and where are you going?

Okay so that's one long question 😅 I started writing after class 12th, when I'd read thousands of fanfiction on Tumblr and AO3 and at one point, Wattpad as well. I wanted to read this exact story I had in my mind and in order to that, I realised I should be the one to write it. That's how I began writing. Cliched, isn't it?

I think there were several bumps along the way if I'm honest— there were serious writer's blocks and then there were times that the interaction was so low that I wasn't so sure if I wanted to put in that effort anymore. It took me a long time to set in a rhythm with post formats and times and how to not care about the amount of notes on my story after posting it. Don't get me wrong, it still hurts to see the likes/reblogs ratio on the story/blurb I decided to share but, eh!

Well, now I'm at this point where I have graduated from writing fanfiction and have been working on all sorts of works— poetry, prose, 3AM thoughts... I don't think I know where I'm going, because I know one form of writing is not better or worse than the other. And honestly— sometimes I feel fanfiction requires far more effort to come out as beautiful as it does. So a shoutout to ALL fanfiction writers out there, you're doing a fantastic job💐

21. Could you ever quit writing? Do you ever wish you could? Why or why not?

I don't think so, no. Now that I have started I donot see an end here and honestly, I don't even want it. If even one person out there, relates to my stories, poems and other things I think I have accomplished all I can as a writer. And it's totally selfish, I assure you. It's something that tells me I'm not alone.

Woah. I got carried away, didn't I? Anyways hi hi hi ily and hope you have a great day<3

Weird Writer's Asks

[insanityclause]

I came to the fandom a year later, growing up Thor Rognarok and did not find what was happening then. What is happening now, similar to what it was then? Then, too, the fandom was split in half. Or is it even worse now?

Definitely split - couldn't tell you the exact ratio - but a good chunk absolutely hated Taika and the Loki in Ragnarok... they call it "Gagnarok". That's a tag to block if you like the movie, btw.

Weirdly, many of them also hate the Loki series now, after assuming it would be great because it wasn't Taika.

They really only accept anything up to TDW, and even then, they legitimately pick and choose what happened in those movies and ignore other things that don't fit their fanfic.

[writing-for-me-at-this-point]

About that last post you rebloged about like, pronouns n inclusivity in fics: I find it really differes. I cant say a whole lot about things like eyecolour/skincolour/haircolour n type etc but I have experience with the pronouns stuff.

I have just about every x f!reader tag that you can think of blocked. From general, to specific fandoms to specific characters.

I will go into a character x reader tag and not only be bombarded with f!reader that isnt tagged via hashtags but also shows NO indication that its f!reader.

Even worse, Ive had times where something was tagged gn!reader, and was just straight up using language clearly indicating an afab body. When I said this, they responded with "I tagged it."

I understand that writers cant make re-writes of every piece with every pronoun changed etc. All I ask is clarity about things. Make it clear what it is.

I will go in x reader tags and find more f!reader content then gn!reader, whether its not tagged or wrongfully tagged as gn!reader doesnt really matter, they are both still there.

Reader is gender neutral word.

But thats my view on this whole thing. Im not a writer but I understand that you guys do this for fun and 9/10 dont get a lot out of it. Its just hard to curate your experience when theres no way to actually weed out what you dont want to see.

This isnt directed at anyone inparticular btw, and espessially not you bee, judt my general, rambly thoughts

Okay but that is completely understandable. That's blatant mistagging or just shows the need for better tagging. Shit, I know sometimes I forget to tag things, or that I mistag on accident. But if anyone spots it I have no problem fixing it. I'm sorry about the writer interaction you had, and I hope that more fics get tagged properly as well.

I do agree writers need to fix how they tag. And people who have this issue either don't tag at all, or are beginning writers, who don't know how to do it properly. It's a learning experience, but I empathize with you completely. If I ever mistag or something, I'm always open to fixing them :)

Also I RANTED here:

I remember when insert fics used to be the typical blonde or brunette that's skinny with light eyes and pale skin. Or when things are tagged as x reader and they're blatant OCs. It's gotten better though, and eventually you get an eye for it too.

And I have the tagging issue especially with smut. Nobody tags kinks or puts them in warnings. Nobody puts long ass 100,000+ character posts under a readmore. Like I'm tired of reading a fic and suddenly mister fuckmaster II is making me call him daddy and treating me like a child :/ or when I'm reading a fic and some hard-core BDSM pops up like:

Like please, tag your fics. Mister Fuckmaster II will be able to piss and shit on those who are into the fic if you tag it properly, and significantly lower any hate/negativity that comes your way.

And I understand how the fic community has a lot of afabs and fem in general. From my understanding, girls and females are the biggest market/take up most of the writing space too (in fanfic/fandom). And there's an unconscious bias there too, but mistakes are normal and should be handled respectfully.

My issue was that I see A LOT of people, who aren't writers or content creators, ask for a lot of things when it comes to fics... but they're also the same people who don't interact with posts.

I know I have a lot of ghost readers, or people who just throw a like at max effort, and while I usually don't care, I will admit it doesn't help me with writing or keeping things consistent. What's the point in posting if no one acknowledged the fact I wrote it, ya know? The whole point of social media is to interact. Most of my posts, with the exception of a few, have a 90 to 1 like to reblog ratio. No one comments, either out of like or constructive criticism, and anons now are scarce. But I can understand that because I was gone for a while, but this was happening even before I went on hiatus.

It gets annoying when all I see is "writers need to do this" and "writers should do that" and said advice is just... so dumb. And people demanding shit most of the time aren't even writers, or people who interact with writers.

And it's a simple fix too. Just make a side blog. Put all your shit in there. Your reblogs, your comments, your interactions- if you really want to keep your aesthetic or hide the fact you read fics.

And just because I haven't posted these anons, it doesn't mean I don't get them. I've had people demanding I write more smut, more fluff, less dark content, darker content, extereme kink/abuse... all while being just super rude. Some anons I've got telling me I need therapy or I'm disgusting for writing dark content is the tip of the iceberg.

I guess this is just a rant on how people just demand, demand, demand, and then ask why writers leave/are leaving. Why quality has gone down. Why writers abandon blogs.

I leave anon on because that's how most people interact with me, and because it makes people comfortable, but I assure you if I shut it off, I'd probably get 3 or 4 people in my inbox on average.

I wanna write stuff and see people comment, reblog, or even just leave an anon. I wanna talk with people about my work. I put effort because yall deserve it. Majority of my readers are amazing. And you guys keep the blog alive. Trust me when I say that, because I was planning to abandon/delete after I lowkey left the Obey Me Fandom a year ago. Twst got me back into writing and that community was great. Genshin is great. And all the smaller fandoms I've written for are welcome too. I've accepted being a... honeypot of fandoms lol.

[kawaii-chronicles]

Current state of Genshin Impact and some personal thoughts

First things first major spoilers, leaks etc of the new story of Inazuma and possible upcoming stuff that was leaked. It could be false so don't take it to seriously. All right so....besides the disaster that is the anniversary. Currently on Twitter the genshin fandom has been heavily divided and only seams to get worse at every update. And i wanna share some of my own thoughts and hopefully not get canceled because of it XD 1. Inazuma was like game of thrones...it had a amazing start only to get worse till the end (insert drawing horse meme). Usually i can excuse when stuff is rushed. But when is PLAIN in your face, how rushed and how things went form A to B...then there is a problem...And i believe those who have seen reviews, analysis videos and such know what I'm talking about. I don't wanna write an entire novel so ill keep going to the next thing. 2. Baal only got popular and got more money than any character, BECAUSE OF A MEME !! People did not liked Baal IN TILL BOOBA SWORD CAME TO BE ! I still remember when her design was leaked ! People called her bland and boring, that they will skip her banner and shits but lord and behold the trailer dropped and ,,YO BOOBA SWORD HELL YEAH !! BAAL WHEN ?! WE NEED BAAL !!''. *face palm*.....I like Baal don't get me wrong...her fight animation is awesome and i did enjoyed her backstory. But using her and how her banner managed to top everyone as a excuse on why Mihoyo prefers to to make more female characters and such.....was nothing more than a desire to get a meme, it was not for the gameplay it was not for the story or personality at least in my opinion....and same might be for Scaramouche...If he did not do the fandango in that event I'm very much certain that most people might have not been desperate to have him playable. And btw. 3. How the hell can Mihoyo make a evil , psycho character like Scara playable....Childe is a special exception. But Scara not only has the motives to be like this but also many times now in both the event and the story that he is evil, and it might get worse if the leaks are true. Unless Mihoyo dose a FGO move and just makes a evil character playable no need to details or even a redeeming quality. Once again Scara only became popular because of the meme. Yeah his design is cool but we already saw a few example of amazing character designs and they are dead ! My only theory that might work for Scara is that we get to somehow reprogram him ? Since he is a puppet like the shogun. Personally it will be a bad move in terms of story telling to have Scara redeem himself in any way but if the devs managed to properly make him playable then i have nothing against it. 4. Racisms , misogyny , misandry, shipping etc. People are at each others necks when these subjects and genshin come together and hell that i will explain this here because i already lost to many braincells reading trough comments and threads but this time the most recent drama this is on the translations team's fault. Pretty much...we now have to travel to Sumeru to find the dendro archon. It all started whit Yae mentioning about a god of flowers named lesser lord Kusanali a female deity that right now is in charged of Sumeru. People already jumped the bandwagon and speculated that the dendro archon is in fact a female. I might do a separated post theory about that but in shorts...the translation team messed up big time because in previous dialogues when the dendro archon was mentioned, it was gendered as he but now and only now they change it to she....while in the Chinese version the dendro archon's gender was left ambiguous but that did not stopped the players to complain once again of the ratio between female and male characters and is far worse now that the Archon ratio is 2:5 now aka only Venti and Zhonlgi are the only male archons while the Cryo, pyro and Hydro are confirmed to be females. And people really hoped for the dendro archon to be male so that we can have the balance of 3:4. Seams reasonable and logical right ? But again i will not go any longer intro this. Case

in point...devs did a opsi and now people are at war. 5. The aniversary.....my dude FGO has the worse gacha rate up and a non existent pity system and yet they make better anniversary gifts than you. Phew this rant could have been much worse people i was yelling whit a friend about my frustration whit the genshin fandom and the stupid decision the devs are making so this was the most watered down version i was able to do. Again don't take my rant to serious. Things can still change either for the better or for the worse. If you still enjoy the game good on you. Everyone has the right to enjoy whatever they want as long as it not bothering those around them :3

[strangcrdoctor]

∞So here’s a headcanon that I’ve been meaning to put into words for a long while but have never taken the time to. But I’m going to put it under a cut because it has to do with the details of Stephen’s accident and the medical trauma he survived therein.

This is specifically based off of the 2016 film (which I also think did a spectacular job of justifying the crash, btw - road conditions, model of car, impact points and all), but I’ll toss in a few cents about how comic iterations in previous generations might be different just for shits ad giggles and because I love shit like this. 

First and foremost, especially working from the earliest DS comic canon, the cars were of the age and variety of “screaming metal death-trap.” Seatbelts weren’t required by law in the 1960s, and in fact many cars didn’t even come with them from the manufacturers because they weren’t considered a safety requirement. Granted they were made of hard body steel and could take impacts well by virtue of being fucking tanks, but the tire quality and torque ratios were... not made for the speeds they could suddenly get to, which did top out at 80-110 mph (in luxury models) with suspensions that were not clement for sustaining speed and road grip at the same time. It was statistically common that even non-reckless driving could result in horrible injuries under the wrong circumstances, therefore. Add in a 1960s inflated male ego, and frankly it’s amazing Stephen didn’t just die. Which is the entire plot point, I’ll grant. I also headcanon that in that era (and even regarding modern Stephen’s collector’s dream cars) Stephen would likely have been in a Rolls Royce Phantom or a Cadillac Coupe de Ville. He would definitely have his eye on a Jaguar E-Type (still does), but back in the 1960s maintaining one would have been more trouble than it was worth even by his standards and budget.

All that aside, let’s talk about the crash in the 2016 Doctor Strange movie. First and foremost, the overall accident itself is totally feasible for the model of car Stephen was driving. Lamborghini and other luxury super-car manufacturers have exceedingly specific impact testing, which is focused - unfortunately - more for track condition impacts than civilian driving conditions. In essence, super cars are built to handle rolling and lateral shear impacts to frankly insane degrees. They are not, however, well built for head-on collisions by nature of the priority of aerodynamics in the design. This feeds into why the Lamborghini in particular was undoubtedly an active choice on behalf of the producers. What’s notable about the crash is that in spite of the glance off of the side of the other car, the Lamborghini stays relatively solidly on the road surface which is design accurate. (There’s actually an entire other tangent I could get off on about this, but I will refrain.) Where things go haywire, however, is where that glancing blow hit on the vehicle. Now with many super-car companies, they mount the engine in the “trunk” of the vehicle, which improves traction and opens up space for the frankly insanely large engine blocks that, oh, I don’t know, V12s require. This pushes the cabin toward the front of the vehicle, and leaves the “trunk” space on the front end where most standard cars keep the engine. This makes the front light, but because of air intake and drag it maintains traction via the aerodynamics of the front grille. The back also has improved traction from the weight of the engine sitting over the rear axel, which is a big additive benefit because most sports cars are rear-wheel drive, and in front-engine vehicles this makes the back axel lighter and prone to fish-tailing on tight corners. Not so with Stephen’s Lamborghini. In essence, the weight of the vehicle sits on the axel that bears the drivetrain.

That rear traction is precisely what makes everything go wrong for this particular crash. Because the weight of the vehicle and the wheel drive are all centered in the back, having that portion of the vehicle get bumped is like flicking a coin to get it spinning. The front end of the vehicle, which is substantially lighter and only has the steering column and brakes to counter the inertia of that rear engine, is abjectly disadvantaged for regaining control of the vehicle. Even the most experienced racer doesn’t have the reaction time to regain control on a two-lane mountain highway, in the rain, at night, from an accident that realistically takes less than 10 seconds from impact to exit through the guard rail. In essence, there was zero chance of Stephen being able to recover as soon as the front end of the vehicle impacted the rock wall and put the car’s trajectory onto “death frisbee” instead of “manageable swerve.” 

This is also the second instance where the super-car design seals Stephen’s fate. So because Lamborghinis have an empty front end - again the “trunk” is where the engine is on most other cars, so essentially empty, un-structured, un-reinforced space - head on collisions absolutely crush the front ends. This also explains and in fact makes viable why Stephen’s hands go through the dash in the compound impacts: the front end is getting folded in like a tin can.

Now we get to the dark and scary medical part of the accident. Obviously the accident was catastrophically bad considering the car careened off of a steep mountain slope and impacted all the way down until it reached the river at the bottom of the ravine. But as we saw from the post-accident scenes, Stephen’s injuries weren’t isolated to his hands only. As was made clear from the state of his face, he definitely had cranial trauma - to the point that it seems very lucky he didn’t lose his left eye - which involved contusions at least to the orbit of his left eye and very probably a concussion, and it seems all but impossible that he didn’t also have thoracic and potentially leg trauma as well. Thoracic either from directly impacting the steering column (which I find very likely), or impacting the door (feasible, and does feed into why I think his left hand is worse off than his right, given from the production stills his left hand has eight - five pins and three plates - of the eleven in his hands). He definitely would have had broken ribs and internal bruising or bleeding from those impacts. The leg injuries are also probable for drivers especially because of impact against the dash and steering column.

Now we start getting to the painful part. Yes, just now. So as Christine mentions after Stephen regains consciousness (probably not for the first time but probably the first time cogently), the “Golden Hours” passed while he was in the car waiting for the mercy flight crew to find him. Now, the Golden Hours is actually the Golden Hour - it’s the span of 60 minutes immediately following intense trauma and injury. So not only was Stephen upside down, in and out of consciousness, alone, half-submerged in a river, in a car that could blow at any moment, for more than an hour, it surpassed the hour that was most vital to his potential for nerve recovery. It’s also frankly astounding that Stephen didn’t die from shock, hypovolemia, or hypothermia during the hours it took for them to find him. I will also just mention in passing that jaws of life situations are touchy enough as is with cars, but with someone as injured as Stephen was, in the exceedingly precarious position his car was in, the emergency responders would have had a hard fucking time getting him out alive at all.

But wait, there’s more! So after all of this, he has to get flown back to New York where the actual work of saving his ass begins. And again, I will emphasize that it’s unavoidable that Stephen - who was canonically on the table for ELEVEN HOURS - was not only in surgery for his hands. As a matter of fact, medically his hands would have been the lesser of many priorities. They would have spent some preliminary time trying to make sure his circulation was intact, but to be frank, amputation is a safer, viable option for hands, and they would have openly made that choice on his behalf and prioritized any cranial or thoracic injury. Hell, even prioritize saving his eye, because the trauma of eye removal/optic nerve disruption has a greater chance for fatality than amputation. So Stephen’s hands didn’t just lose the Golden Hour, but would not have gotten operated on for up to three to five additional hours, and that’s under-estimating the complexity his other, higher priority traumas.

Put it all together and what do you get? A man that, by rights, shouldn’t be alive at all. And who, rather than valuing the life that he got to still have, held it against himself that he could no longer inhabit the life he’d had. 

Secondarily, in light of all of the above and the seven consecutive surgeries that Stephen put himself through, you can absolutely bet your lunch money that this man developed an addiction to pain medication. It takes the body up to six months to filter out anesthetic, and given Stephen surely pushed his surgery scheduling to be more quick than advisable for recovery, his endocrine system would have been in free fall. To say nothing of the fact that the only way to deal with that much invasive surgery isn’t just eating healthy and hydrating...

Also please never forget that Stephen’s intern, Billy, was on the phone with him when the crash happened. So Billy was absolutely the one that made the call, and was undoubtedly sitting there, watching the clock as the Golden Hour slipped by and Stephen’s chances of survival dwindled by the second.

Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk.∞

[botwstoriesandsuch]

P-please talk about your Rito OC, please... ramble without any context, please... I have one too... please make me feel less alone...

Ok ok let me just *unloads all of Illeka’s super angsty self-indulgent backstory*

I technically have two backstories, one for botw that I’m gonna use for my fic Where Time Takes Us, and another I use for my dnd campaign. My dnd one is more fleshed out (thanks to my amazing GM) so I’ll probably just share that one. 

Warning for super duper long post that is barely coherent and I haven’t checked for typos and also rip to ADHD folks because I have no pictures to ease your brain with. Anyhow prepare for like thousands of words worth of rambles this is not edited at all

This is just a copy paste of the random incoherent shit I sent to my poor DM. Anyhow, I technically have 3 ocs here, but Illeka is the one I play

A weird Rito, that one is. I hear they’ve only cried at birth...

- Illeka was born on the Day of Living Fire, its a celebration of the dead essentially, where you mourn and remember your loved ones and ancestors and all that. It’s superstition to be *born* on this day, because your life/creation takes away from the day that’s supposed to honor the dead, and some people on birb island believe these things, that if you let the kid live it’s a curse. But most people are like no wtf you boomers it’s fine there’s no such thing you crazy old people are weird, which to be fair is kinda true.

- When Talako is around 6, his single mom dies. He’s adopted by a new family, Kala (also around 6 years old) and her parents.

- Illeka meets Talako after he kinda follows her around, because he’s an innocent cinnamon bun that admires Illeka’s calm and stoic demeanor after they help him with some bullies. Through this, Talako, Illeka, and Kala all become best friends.

- The events in Illeka’s life aren’t really helping their whole curse case. Every bad event, from their dad getting injured and having the slightest limp, to their brother, Zekk nearly setting himself on fire— it’s all a supposed punishment for not killing them when they were bored. But at this point most people brush it off as coincidence, besides, nothing THAT bad has happened yet.

- the trio of friends grow strong, becoming some of the best in their arts on the island. And their relationship is seemingly adorable. The serious ~~cursed~~ one, the optimistic sunshine one, and the sarcastic firey one. Prides of their village, set to protect their people from harm.

- Illeka is the best in the village when it comes to physical fights. Trusty halberd, and a keen shot with a bow, they’ve never lost a sparring match on that front. Their personality is offputting to some, there’s a rumour that they’ve never cried. The easiest of jokes, and the vilest of insults don’t spark much reaction from them— except in the presence and topic of their family, Kala, and Talako. But otherwise, the story goes that the cursed kid doesn’t have a soul, and hence, no morality or emotions.

- When they train with Talako and Kala, they never back down, if only out of respect, Illeka wouldn’t want to embarrass them with pity. Talako always laughs at his inevitable defeat, though he tries nonetheless. He promises that one day he’ll be strong enough to beat them.

- Talako is a pleasant soul, but has an nack for adventure and a hint of chaos. He prefers to dual wield daggers, and on occasion a short sword or two. He’s great with the blade, loves the thrill of the fight, but is more skilled with cooking and physical healing and remedies. He’s always the one encouraging fun celebratory hang outs at the tavern, with his two closest friends after a day of guarding the village. Kala always sides with him, and Illeka typical gives in after at least putting on a show of reluctance. He humble and happy and loved by most of the village, if only things would last

- Kala is of wit and cunning, she’s typically the first to speak. She’s headstrong and not afraid to insult whoever she displeases, and a bit too arrogant in her abilities. She laughs at all of Talako’s jokes, if perhaps only to spite Illeka’s groans. She’s also the most strategic of her friends, being the “one with a plan” in battle. While she’s a decent wield of two khopesh, Kala’s mostly gifted with magic. She’s got a knack for conjuring, though is well researched in other types as well. Illeka and her are an even match, with decent win ratios on either end. Illeka doesn’t take it that personally, they suck/hate magic after all. Kala’s a bit more competitive tho.. While her power in magic is certainly the best on all of the island, she can’t help but feel salty/jealous for always being overshadowed by Illeka’s feats, since the people prefer/understand the physical over the magic.

- Oh, and she was born on day after the Day of Living Fire, according to her parents. How lucky.

- In a sense, they’re all a bit of an outcast. Kala the fiery independent one, a bit sidecasted for prefering magic over steel. Talako the weird orphan, for being a chirpy, happy boi, which is a bit annoying for some. And Illeka…well lets just say their situation isn’t going to be improving

- One year, Illeka’s family is expecting more kids, twin sisters at that! It’s the most excited anyone’s ever seen Illeka, thought perhaps that’s not the right word… They’ve still got their usual demeanor, but they did spend nearly a week crocheting little baby hats and tunics and scarves. They threatened to kill their brother if they told anyone, although Zekk was allowed to let it slip to Tal and Kala

- [They are absurdly good at crochet btw. They never do it anymore to try and maintain their “reputation,” but their family will never forget the time they crafted matching blankets and hats to win a little competition in their home town.]

- Then the Day of Living Fire arrives for that year. Theres a little celebration for Illeka’s birthday, before moving on to other activities.

- The twins die that night.

- The village was in a bit of shock…and rumours grow considering the timing of it. The mysterious circumstance of it…well it does turn the heads of even some of the less-superstitious. The rumours, the death, the silent thought that perhaps that cursed bird caused some babies’ death, Illeka endured it.

- Years later would it get worse.

- Illeka is still publically respected at this point, weird rumours sure, but try telling that to the edge of her halberd. Their mother had made the twin’s shrine, but they say Illeka didn’t visit that often. Talako was always by their side, trying to help them, which was always appreciated, even when they tried to hide it.

- Kala was busy in the library these days.

- Zekk had started a family by now, a little baby birb named Mili hatched into the world.  Illeka would often steal her away for little cuddles when they (thought) no one was looking. Zekk would jest that they had to fight for the right to hold his own kid. Kala would also occasionally tease them about it, though Tal was mostly happy to see them in better spirits

- Then, another Day of Living Fire.

- Talako and Illeka were usually on guard duty together, the northern patrol by the village edge. But tal was still a bit worried about his friend’s state of mind, he’s not sure he’d even seen them mourn. He pushes for Illeka to take the day off, it’s technically their birthday after all, plus they can pay their respected at the shrines and attend the festivities and do the ceremonies and all that. Illeka denies it, brushing it off like they always do.

- Soon, their nightly patrol begins, and Illeka is about to set off to met up with Talako, but Kala intercepts. She has a talk with them, similar to that of Talako’s, but with…more well crafted and laced words. It’s nearly the same message that Talako tried to tell them, “It’ll be healthy for you, visit the shrines, be with your family, maybe brush off some rumours in the process.” Illeka nearly denies again, joking that Talako would get afraid of the dark if they didn’t show up. But Kala interjects, stating that she’s already made plans to take the patrol that nigth with Tal. Trusting their friends to be safe in each others care, Illeka relents and takes the day off.

- …yeah. so

- perhaps you can see where this is going.

- Kala’s jealousy had been growing over the years. Not only was she being shadowed by Illeka and their non magic ways, but it was irritating even more that all the talk about magic in the town was not of her exceptional abilties, but of stupid rumours and non-existent evil curses. If the people wanted show, she’d give them a show

- This mindset made her spars with Illeka a bit more personal as of late, getting it in her head that she needed to get stronger, strong enough to best Illeka with ease. Strong enough so that there would be no question who was the best warrior on the island, magic, bows, halberds, or no.

- The library had many forgotten books that she had been studying. Conjuring, rituals, illusions, necromancy. It was all…beautiful. Kala soaked in every word, sometimes berating the bookkeeper offhandedly for not keeping them in the best condition

- In her research she eventually found a beast. A..thing, a demon? A monster, the specifics weren’t there, but the gist of it was, if you had the courage to summon it, it would grant you the knowledge for attaining anything you desired. All it asked in return was…to eat some people.

- But not just any people mind you! Supposedly the ritual only worked for the people with the greatest of ambitions, willing to sacrifice the lives of people they might care about. The sacrifices had to be of someone with great trust and bond with the person.

- Kala’s parents disappeared that day, a few feathers laid about, but there was no blood.

- Near the northern border, by a open field, a weird circle dripped the grass red

- Talako waited by the village edge, ready to fly off with their patrol partner when they arrived. When Kala greeted him, he was a bit surprised, but happy when she explained that Illeka had gone off back to town.

- Indeed Illeka was with their family now, as the sun started to set. Occasionally, a passerby would give them a weird glance before walking swiftly away.

- Somewhere in the northern border, a warrior is knocked unconcious, and dragged upon a blood red pattern

- Illeka is by her sisters’ shrine. For the sliver of a moment, they contemplate crying.

- Then an explosion is heard off in the distance

- Talako was wide awake at this point, although his wings being pinned to his sides wasn’t that helpful considering there was a giant, *giant* dark monster in front of him.

- Kala lets off a final remark, saying it was for his own good. The death would be swifter if he didn’t squirm.

- He whipped back at her, glaring with a fire she hasn’t seen before. He calls her a coward for tricking Illeka, a coward for kill their parents, a coward for not even giving him the decency to fight for his life.

- She nearly smiles at the last remark. “Fine.” She tosses him his blades. “You were never much of a warrior anyway.”

- Illeka was flying towards the booming sound at full speed, nearly knocking over their family and other mourning, people in the process. A few others had tried to slow them down, claiming they should suit of better first, before confronting whatever had been the source of the explosion. Illeka didn’t listen.

- They barely had time to grab a weapon, before approaching the northern border. After gracing the crests of the hill tops, they finally saw it. A giant demonic beast, snapping it’s jaws against a flying dash of black feathers, Talako.

- Illeka called out to him, nearly dashing off into the air again, but they stopped when they spotted Kala, standing idlely by next to her.

- Before they could even speak, before they could even question why she was acting so nonchalantly while their best friend was fighting for their life against an evil monstrosity, Kala shook her head and spoke. “You always have to ruin my fun, don’t you?” She struck a magic blow and Illeka, square in the chest.

- It knocked them to the ground, but they got up, setting their halberd and pointing it at them.

- Then insert some dramatic scene where Kala is like “you’re so selfish, hogging all the attention, thinking you’re better than me, but today I’m gonna finally best you mwahaha” and Illeka is like “wtf why did you do this? I thought we were friends? I trusted you?? the fuck? also talako is our friend!!?” and then its “yeah thats right I manipulated your stupid feelings to gain the upperhand. you’re super pathetic honestly for falling for it. anyhow yeah talako will probably die, i tried to give him the luxary of a swift death but he wouldn’t listen, so now he’s probably gonna get brutally slayed lol” and illeka is all “I’ll kill you” and kala is “no u. This whole thing is gonna give me so much power no ones gonna question me again” and then they fight each other

- The duel is nearly a draw, Kala’s magical ability is certainly is certainly stronger, but she’s not as all powerful without that knowledge from the demon monster guy that needs to eat his meal. Illeka is fighting with all theyve got, but all they brought was a halberd, but they are very fueled by rage and spite so it’s still an even match. Illeka eventually lands a blow that’s got Kala bleeding severely, but Kala pretty much almost kills them with a direct attack. Kala’s too weak to finish the job, plus those other guards have finally started to fly and approach in the distance, so she flys off. Illeka finally slips into unconsciousness.

- When they wake up, it’s almost sunrise. Their mom is shaking them awake, part of the party that was investigating the explosion that summoned the beast. Illeka bolts up, they’re still in the field were they had fought Kala, but she and the beast are no where to be seen.

- They run off, trying to find Talako, and ho boy do they find him alright. His body is crumpled by some rocks, his wing nearly ripped clean off, theres so much blood, even a warrior like Illeka can hardly bare it. Some small bit of hope in their head thinks that he might still be alive, and they listen to his chest to see if he’s still breathing.

- His eyes flicker once at Illeka, his chest rises, then falls for the last time.

- Illeka cries.

- Then, still pretty wounded and tired, they collapse again

- The days following are living hell. Kala hasn’t been found, and their her parent’s [bodies]. The rumours are creeping as ever, at the coincidence of Illeka and this disaster. They spend nearly a weak in bed at home, recovering physically, thought probably not mentally.

- As soon as they’ve fully recovered, Illeka’s mind is set. They are going to leave, no more warrior/village protection for them. They’re going to travel far off, train and hone their skills in combat, and find and kill Kala.

- Their family is opposed to this at first, but in the end nothing they say changes Illeka’s mind.

- In a sense, there was another, unspoken reason Illeka was leaving the islands. They didn’t want to hurt anyone else.

- Hell, the rhetoric is even stronger down the line, concerning the fate of poor Mili. Illeka has given in and accepted it, they are cursed to cause pain to the people they care about. [It’s basically that trope of the character isn’t actually cursed but they believe they’re cursed] Illeka will stay away, and go it alone for as long as they can. Then once the deed is done, once they draw Kala’s corpse across the mud, they’ll probably fly off somewhere far to die, before anyone else gets hurt. It’s probably best for their family never to see them again.

- - - - - - 

Wow you did it, you made it through the super angsty self-indulgent backstory congrats. Illeka is my lil baby and I love them and I’ve gonna send them on a revenge quest and then they were gonna have a cool character arc probably about learning to grieve and have self worth and all that and to actually allow themselves to show emotions for once in their lives. That’s the general plan I had in my head anyhow

But you know what my dm thought?

They were like how about mORE ANGSt

Fucking shit you not, session three of the campaign, I’m heading back to birb island because of circumstances, and I’m getting supplies from my blacksmith dad and showing off this sword that says “fuck” a lot that I got from a dungeon that took a selkie’s soul which they gave up willingly in exchange for fire hair...long story

but THEN I meet up with my bro Zekk and it’s like “wassup bro just passing through” but then I find out that Talako’s shrine thing was DESTORYED by some unknown entity and that’s very not good because spirituality and all that

and also I find Mili and they’re a cute lil toddler birb now aww it’s so great hope nothing happens to them because I sure do have enough emotional traume to burden right now. anyhow due to CIRCUMSTANCES our only lead to the thing that destroyed Talako’s shrine is 1) a delinquent named Chesio [that our party nicknamed cherrio because the GM misspelled it the first time i think] who apparently was Talako’s shitty cousin and his only living relative who could build his shrine and 2) the destruction of the shrine lines up with a period of time where Mili went missing but its ok she came back so her parents were like “chill we gucci”

Our party decides we should go down the Mili lead [because I accidentally knocked Cherrio i mean Chesio to near death with a crit roll with my halberd so they’re in the infirmary now but it’s really not my fault that they triggered my emotional trauma by mentioning how I keep running away from grief and never staying around to confront it it’s fiiiiiiiiiiiiine] so we stop by Zekk’s house and we’re like “hey so remember when you disappeared for like a week where did you go, and then mili was like “oh it’s in this cavern that no one knows about and I can’t really give you the directions but I can lead you there if you take me with you” in which I then glare at the GM for this obvious attempt to force us to take Mili with us to put her in danger and apparently I was the ONLY one who cared about this because everyone else in the party was ready to adopt this birb child, and Zekk was like “sure take the kiddy harness” so here I am, watching my niece run around in a kiddy harness that’s also attached to me, while my Chaotic neutral party someone gets grilled cheese sandwiches in the background

Badabing, badaboom, we come to some crystal caverns. while I, being one of the only members of the party with morals other than one chaotic good dragonborn, am watching the selkie, halfoot, and elf girl steal a bunch of crystals, Mili fucking DISAPPEARS the fucking KIDDY HARNESS fucking NOT GOOD she FCUKING SLIPPED OUT AND SHES GONE AND IM FREAKING OUT 

after about an hour or two of searching through the deeper parts of the cavern and tunnel and also fighting a minotaur and discovering an abandoned arena and a cleric, long story. We find Mili fucking laying on A NECROMANCER’S RITUAL CIRCLE WHAT THE FU- 

I pull a “I don’t hesitate bitch” on the hooded dude that’s hovering and chanting shit. He’s dead, it’s all swell. Saved the day, the evil’s dead. Mili’s fine she can go back to being a cute lil baby who loves shiny rocks and-

oh wAIT actually Mili is still transformed into a demonic monster and the necromancer dude was actually in the middle of completing a ritual to bring her back to life after he killed her a few times

So turns out, necromancer dead dude was hired by a mysterious someone, to steal something from Talako’s shrine, and to destroy any evidence. Turns out, his methodology for doing so was to kidnap some birb kid who had the misfortune of wander too close, killing them, turning them into some demonic monster that does their bidding, using that monster to steal and ruin some shit, and then when the day’s done he turns them back like nothing happened. Sure do wish he was alive to redo that last part

I’m freaking out, the party’s freaking out, that sword from earlier is cursing to high heaven for no apparent reason. Cleric unhelpfully remarks how it was a bad idea that we impulsively killed the evil dude bro, yes wow thank you for the help

Eventually everything’s fine. After a few round of shouting “NO ONE TOUCH MY FUCKING NIECE OR YOU DIE” after said demonic niece is kinda mindlessly attacking everyone, we eventually do some good ol blunt force trauma and a bit of magic and BOOM. Mili’s back. Although they do have permanent black ritual markings on them but its fiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiinee (its not)

We find a note on necromancer dude bro that his employer was from another island, so that’s a lead yay Find Out Next SessionTM but at this point I really don’t care as I’ve already started tying Mili to my chest and walking back to the village

I go back to Zekk’s house, hand off Mili, explain everything that happened, give a super heart feel apology about how I pretty much killed Mili (even though I really didn’t but also as we all know Illeka is an angsty birb who’s steadfast in the idea that their existence hurts everyone they love so yay <3) and then I leave as fast as I can before anyone can protest sure was nice visiting my family after i’ve been away for a few months sure am glad that my inner thoughts about staying away weren’t justified whatsoever hmmmmmm

A session or two passes. We try to assassinate and elf’s evil parents and fail, we get into a Fake Dating Being Someone’s Children Au with a dragon. The selkie keeps trying to date everyone, even thought they’re already married to a necromancer princess and a boat (long story) and inbetween we head to that island that note i got was talking about and turns out it was to a place where all your inner demons and anxieties manifest into reality and taunt you, until youre slowly broken down to the point where the evil dictator on the island can “magic” away your problems with puppet strings. fun for the whole family!

Anyways, after our party fights out evil neon-blue clones, I get a lead from dictator dude that the employer I’m looking for is a Rito that’s good with magic, and was last seen headed east, in the same direction we just came from. fun.a

So I’m kinda low on leads, other than the fact that theres a magic school in the east, but in between we have to deal with the fact that husboat (again, the boat that is married to the selkie who is also our entire party’s form of transportation across the ocean. wait a sec did I mention that we weren’t in Hyrule? We’re not in Hyrule, this is a flooded land with a bunch of islands. Think wind waker) was being chased by pirates. also these pirates were the ones that raised the selkie, and also they kinda also slaughtered an entire island of halffoots in their time with the pirates, and also that island was the one that the halffoot in our party grew up in. So basically that’s some cool tension and drama. Anyhow, back to moi

One talk about how “no we cannot kidnap aNOTHER priest” to the selkie and elf later... magic school! Magic school is pretentious and I hate it. Everythings glowy, they don’t allow you to fly over the gates. There’s puffy noble middle aged men and children in bedazzled cloaks. There’s magic in the air and I swear I would choke and die on the glitter and rainbows of it all. 

Half the party is off getting into cloak fashion, I head off with my dragonborn friend Ness because highfive! We’re the only one’s with morals in this party! Morality pals! (This is saying something considering I am true neutral and she’s chaotic good but we might as well be clerics in this party...)

My morality pal and I and hanging around, then we catch word that there’s this transfer student that no one has seen in a while and “oh I wonder where she could be” and all that jazz from other students. Mortality pals are like “ok let’s go look for her” so we drag the rest of the party off of their larceny spree and look around.

Eventually, after I spot a tattered cloak roaming the halls that matches the description of the gossip, we find the transfer student.

TURNS OUT (unsurprisingly honestly given the way the dm framed stuff) this transfer student is someone I know. She’s standing there, in the middle of the room, preparing to do some ritual or something. She’s standing there, my life purpose, my one and only goal, literally the only reason I’m still going in life, my arch nemesis, my target, my mortal fucking enemy. It’s Kala.

Ness sees a demon dog in the background and says hi, ruining our element of surprise, but to be fair, she doesn’t know it’s Kala. 

Kala whips around from her table thing. We make eye contact. Her face suddenly shift from confusion to surprise to bewilderment to shock to happiness. 

Happiness.

“Illeka I thought you were dead!” Kala runs towards me, but I’m too shocked to move.

She’s smiling. It’s not sadistic, it’s not...harmful, it’s just genuine joy. For a moment I thought I saw a tear in her eye. 

Kala hugs me for a long moment, before letting go. “So how did you survive?”

...

In my head I’m thinking, “oh you fuck face”

THE. AUDACITY. OF. THIS. BITCH. 

“HOWD I SURVIVE” UH NO THANKS TO YOU FOR ALMOST KILLING ME FOR YOUR STUPID RITUAL WHATEVER THAT KILLED TALAKO WTFFF

ARE YOU REALLY TRYING TO PULL THE SAME TRICK AGAIN??? GONNA PRETEND TO BE ALL SENTIMENTAL AND NICE JUST TO TRY AND KILL ME LATER ON? HA OK OK

how about instead, I do the one good thing, the one worthwhile thing I can do in my entire life...just one simple course of action that might hope to make up for the mountain of regret that is my entire existence. 

I am finally going to kill you.

Kala’s staring at me, eyes curious, head tilted as if all she ever did was ask what I had for brunch. 

I blink once, and my neutral expression, faintly coated with shock morphs into determination.

I roll for initiative. 

- - - - - - 

It’s 1am. 

So have a cliffhanger, kinda. 

If anyone bothers to read this far, congrats! Your reward is me being lazy. I’ll tell you what happened sometime tomorrow if anyone really wants to know :P Long story short, it doesn’t end how I, and therefore probably you, would except. 

[wmhalliwell]

ashlee’s gif making tutorial

@amysperalta​ has requested a gif making tutorial from me and i’m happy to oblige! everyone has a different way to gif and some ways don’t work for some people, so this is just how i personally make them. i’ve also never made a tutorial before, so let’s hope this doesn’t end badly.

this is the gif i’ll be making for the purposes of this tutorial:

things you’ll need:

a version of photoshop

some way to get frames from a video file (i’ll give some options)

patience

step 1: getting your frames

there are many, many ways to do this. there are multiple different programs to do this with (kmplayer, uplayer, gom player) but i personally use mpv (via @kylos​ lovely tutorial here; which i also highly recommend as a gif tutorial since it gives a different way to create a gif file) because my mac doesn’t accept any other type of program. 

note: BE SURE THAT WITH ANY PROGRAM YOU USE, IT IS SET TO SAVE EVERY FRAME. some people may lie to you and say a program grabbing every other or every third frame is fine, but it’s 2019 and we don’t do that any more. the tumblr gif limit is 3mb, which means we can have smooth, non-choppy gifs by gathering every frame from a scene.

okay, so i gather my frames, and typically keep them in a folder, separating scenes cut-by-cut so it’s easier to handle. for example: 

from there, i import them into photoshop using: File --> Scripts --> Load Files into Stack; this screen pops up, in which you browse for your frames hit OK. this will automatically upload all the frames into the same file for you. be patient! depending on how many frames you choose, it can take a few minutes to upload all of the frames.

i always save my work after every step. so once frames are uploaded i save the file. be sure to have “timeline” (or “animation” on some versions of photoshop) opened in your view. my photoshop looks like this when i open the file:

now, i’m going to click “Create Frame Animation” at the bottom. This will give me a timeline to work with at the bottom. Next step, go to the three little lines on the right side of the thingy that says “Timeline” and go through these steps: 

and then

now, you have a working gif! you can hit the little play button at the bottom left of the screen and it should play for you.

step two: cropping and sharpening

there is plenty you can do for sizes on tumblr. the general widths are 540px (big), 268px (normal) and 177/178px (small). it’s all a matter of the type of set you’re making. also be aware that the gif limit is 3mb. the bigger the gif, the fewer frames you can have. most of my 540px gifs have between 20-35 frames, while some of my 268px frames can have 75-90 depending on the coloring of the scene.

but for the purpose of this tutorial, i’m making one 268x160. i go to the crop key at the left side, and set my ration up top to 268 and 160.

then i crop the gif! (note: sometimes, files will have a black line on one side of a video file; typically the bottom or on one side. the black line will be no more than 2px big and sometimes hard to see until you’ve cropped it. be sure to drag the cropped area away from the edge of the files that have this dark line, as it when appears on the final gif and looks bad. one of my more recent sanditon gifsets fell to this and i didn’t realize until i had posted it. 😖)

now we have to size it. you do do this by going to Image --> Image Size or using the keyboard shortcut. it should automatically keep the aspect ratio, thus when you change width to 268, the height should change to 160 automatically. 

hit OK and now you have your base gif!

next, we’ll be sharpening and setting the frame rate, two very important things. to sharpen a gif, there is no way you want to go do it frame by frame, so you can use an action! these are really helpful. i have one i use for most gifs, and one i use for lesser quality. the one i use for this gif is this one here. to use this, you’ll have your photoshop open, you can go to your actions in your barthingy on the right by color swatches which should look like this:

click that and find the three grey lines at the top right. click them and this will pop up. you’ll go to “load actions” and then browse for the action you downloaded. 

once loaded, it will show up like this and have a nifty play button! 

make sure you click on/highlight the “play me!” line and then hit the play button on the bottom of the box. it will go through the motions for you and sharpen your gif. once that’s done, you can hit the big action button to close this box to get it out of the way. now, to set a frame rate, you’ll go down to the timeline and highlight all of the frames and then click while holding shift and this will pop up.

you’ll select “other” and type in “.05″. this is the most commonly used frame rate. most movies and tv shows will look fine using this for scenes, especially ones with subtitles, etc. for more artistic scenes, sometimes i’ll use “.06″ to slow it down just a hair. also make sure that your gifs are set the loop “forever”.

and there you go! a gif fully sharpened and moving at the proper speed:

this is also the time you can choose your frames. meaning if you uploaded like 200 frames and only wanted to use 50 of them, you can go through and delete them in the timeline. there’s a little trashcan button there.

note: once you’ve sharpened and set your frame ratio, be sure to go into your levels box and click the top frame. it is also useful to have the first frame in the timeline always highlighted as you’re editing the rest of the gif. 

step three: coloring

there are endless ways to color. there’s loads of people offering psd colorings. (psd means an editable photoshop file btw) you can also make your own. i have a whole slew of psds i’ve made for certain scenes that i’ve kept and reuse, tweaking each time. this isn’t a coloring tutorial, but i’ll show you a quick way to make a simple coloring. (i purposely chose a well lit scene for this gif tutorial for this reason. making dark scenes look good, or scenes with bad color balance is a whole other tutorial lol)

first off, make a folder above your frames. you can name it whatever you want; it will automatically call itself “group 1″. this is where you’ll be putting all of your coloring layers so they stay together and you can also save it to use again.

from here on out, we’ll be adding layers, using the half black/half white circle down at the bottom; just click on it and it’ll pull up a list of things you can use. note that when you add coloring layers, you start at the bottom and add other layers on top of it.

always start with “levels”. i lighten up almost every scene i gif, since it gives me the chance to play with contrast on my own terms.

then we’ll do a “selective color”; this one is just to set some blacks while giving contrast. be sure to select “blacks” at the top and change just what’s below:

most gifs also need some “color correction” at this point. (this is a layer you’ll keep coming back to to tweak as you add more above it fyi.) for this one, i’ll make it a bit more green and red.

the gif right now looks like this....which isn’t perfect, but i can see where it will get to from here:

now we’ll add a layer of 100% “vibrance”

not every gif needs 100% vibrance, but i tend to like how colors look when i use it and we can fix any weird colored skin in later steps. and now some curves for contrast:

the gif now looks like this:

which is much too yellow certainly, but gifs always look worse before they look better when it comes to coloring! next, we’ll make another layer of “selective colors”. this is when you’ll play with each color within the same selective color layer. i’m guessing i’ll utilize more blues and less yellows under “yellow” and “red” but let’s see what happens:

now it looks like this!

which is a lot better. i’ll probably up the blacks +10 (using the same selective color layer) just a bit so crowley can be his angsty self entirely. i also want to up the greens because i love bright gifs.

the great thing about selective colors is that they’re easy to manipulate. and you can even have multiple of them over one another to really zero in on one color. and if you find that you can’t get the gif to look right at all, you can also return to your color balance layer and tweak it until it looks better and is easier to manage.

so now, my finished gif looks like this: 

(this is not the most exciting gif ever, but it works to show how to play with colors in a well lit scene).

there is a number of other things i do/can be done in making gifs, but these are the basics. 

be sure to go to File --> Export --> Save for Web and follow my settings to save your gif. (there are many ways to save a gif, and each gif tutorial will give you different settings. i recommend trying them out and see which works best for you.) pay attention to the “bicubic” quality at the bottom. and when your gif is small enough (under 3mb), be sure to click on the “original” tab at the top and save it while on that screen.

and, because i’m feeling nice, let’s have a quick subtitles moment:

bonus step 4: subtitles

i know there are easier ways to make subtitles but this is how i do mine. using the ruler around your photoshop space, drag one vertical line over your gif. the program should automatically “snap” them to the middle of the gif to create your perfect center.

then take the text tool and write something in it, no matter where or what size, just so you have something to manipulate. you’ll find that it too will snap to the center to match the ruler line, giving you a centered text box! you can have it whatever distance you want from the bottom (don’t go too close or tumblr will cut it off) and then you can edit the text color/font/etc. these are my settings.

and i also have an added stroke and drop shadow to it which you can get to from Layer --> Layer Style:

and so it looks like this: 

it is important to add your text layer ABOVE your coloring folder, otherwise the coloring will affect the text. and it’s good to have different colors for different people talking.

i hope that all made sense! feel free to send me any questions (i’m sure i must have made you confused or missed a step or something), or if you have any other tutorials you’d like to request.

[zdbztumble]

“Chain of Memories” revisited

(NOTE: My only experience playing this game is with the remake for the PS2, and so all my comments, and all my memories, derive from that, not the GBA original.)

It’s been interesting, going through the Kingdom Hearts series again this year, to see lines of praise and criticism I wasn’t aware of before. In the case of Chain of Memories, I wasn’t aware of some of the objections made to this game’s story and gameplay. Apparently, it’s been faulted for abandoning the set-up at the end of KH I in favor of a completely new story, it established the series’ penchant for nonsensical mystery and needlessly convoluted plotting, and the gameplay is too divorced from the rest of the series.

I can’t say that I find the first and the third to be justified critiques. To begin with the third point, I really enjoy the card-based mechanic. It took me longer to get the hang of it this time than I remembered from my teenage years, but once I did, it was a lot of fun to play around with. If I have any complaints about the mechanic, it’s that the game becomes a little too easy once you unlock enough sleights and grow your deck to a certain size. By the time I reached the end of the second set of world cards, it was only boss battles that offered any real challenge. But I still enjoyed building decks and watching the sleight animation. 

As for the idea that the game abandoned the set-up from KH I - I just can’t see that at all. It’s stated more than once that Sora and friends came to Castle Oblivion on the trail of Riku and King Mickey, and until Repliku is revealed as such, he feeds into their feelings about that search. This game was also produced when KH II was already announced, and was conceived of as an intermediary title; even if it had deviated wildly from the set-up at the end of KH I, this would have been the place to do it.

And that is something worth remembering when assessing CoM - the state of things at the time it was made. It’s easy to look over the entire series, with all its strange naming conventions, egregious retcons, and neglected and abandoned character lines, but when CoM was made, there was only the one game, and an upcoming sequel. To think of CoM as a side game, was appropriate at the time, even with the impact it would have on KH II’s story.

However - with that said, hindsight has not always been kind to CoM, because the game did set trends that would end up metastasizing and bringing the whole series down. It did indeed establish the precedent of teasing future titles and stories with vague allusions, set-up without a pay-off. In this case, with KH II on the way - and the fact that KH II did pay off the teasing in CoM - the mystery made for an effective element in the larger series. But efforts to replicate the success of that mystery in later titles were often abysmal. A very similar story goes for this game’s attempt to have its cake and eat it too with the question on whether Sora would ever remember Namine - KH II found a way to pull that off in a satisfying manner that preserved a bittersweet and sacrificial element, but other games could never duplicate that feat.

This game also started to demonstrate the pacing issues that later games would make far worse. One aspect of the pacing was out of the developers’ hands - the loss of the rights to Tarzan cost them a world, and by moving Halloweentown up to fill the empty slot in the first set of world cards and sticking the 100 Acre Wood into the second, that set of world cards feels light and rushed compared to the first. But there are other pacing problems within this game. The ratio of cutscenes to gameplay is often awkward, especially with the need to pass through two sets of scenes every time you move up one floor. The repetitive nature of these cutscenes, with stilted dialogue covering things the player already knows, also emerged here, in a more pronounced way than in KH I that would only grow and fester.

I also found some of the leaps of logic more of a strain on credulity here than in the first game. To complain about logic in Kingdom Hearts is always going to be a little ridiculous, I know, but the first game did manage a better internal logic, at least up until the very end. It was a fantasy world’s logic, well freed from many normal constraints, but it held up. Some of the moves here, from Goofy’s deductions about memories early in the game, to when Donald and Goofy do or don’t appear in cutscenes, to Sora’s assumptions when he offers to let Namine wipe his memories, just didn’t hold water even internally, and that’s another trend that would worsen with time.

And then...there’s the villains.

Organization XIII has always been better as a concept and a collective than broken down into its individual components IMO. In this game - where it was still just “the Organization” - that collective is never truly dealt with. Its plans and its threat are the tease, the shadowy image on the horizon that will ultimately be addressed in KH II, its only representation within the game being Axel and Vexen. The villains here are a renegade faction within the Organization, and that faction is essentially only two members, Marluxia and Larxene. And I have to be honest - they just don’t work for me.

Playing through KH I again this year led me to finally love and appreciate Riku as a character, but no such change of heart happened with these characters. Axel and Larxene remain utterly repellent to me. I get that Axel is meant to be smug, and Larxene’s meant to be a sadistic bitch, but such characters tread a very thin line between being effective and compelling antagonists that enhance a story, or being insufferable black holes that derail a story. Both fall firmly in the latter category IMO, and the only reason they don’t do more damage is because of their limited screen time. As for Marluxia - I was shocked, playing through this game again, how little screen time he has, and how limited the build-up to him is. Couple that with his non-existent personality, and I really can’t believe that this guy was brought back in KH III, let alone the greater lore. This, of course, marks another trend began in this title - underwhelming and/or detrimental antagonists in black cloaks given one too many monologues.

There are also issues unique to this game, and in some cases to the remake of it that I’ve played. Summons are much more hit and miss than in the first game (Donald and Genie are essentially worthless in my experience), and not having some of them available for most of the story in a given world can get frustrating when you want to play with them but the game moves so quickly due to the ease of combat. Line readings in cutscenes are often awkward, and Sora’s teenage voice, while unavoidable, is incredibly distracting.

And there is one criticism I’ve seen of this game’s story that I have to agree with: the lack of a role for the Disney worlds in the story. I don’t always agree with the way this criticism is put. The fact that none of those worlds and characters are really there, and are constructed from fragments of memory, put some limits on what agency they could have in the larger plot. And I don’t object out of hand to the fact that this turns a good chunk of the game into covering old territory; the level design, world-plot tweaks, and battle mechanic all make it a unique enough experience from KH I. But while some of the Disney worlds tie in thematically to the larger story (Halloweentown and Neverland in particular stood out on that point), there was a huge missed opportunity to tie them into the actual narrative.

Consider this possibility: in each Disney world, there is a fragment of Sora’s memory - his memories of his past, before the first game - that is unlocked by completing the world. These could give us some backstory on his life on Destiny Islands, show more of his friendships, and give more detail on Riku and Kairi’s character - for example, Alice tricking the Red Queen (an excellent scene and character beat, BTW) could trigger a memory of a time when Kairi displayed similar quick thinking, early in her friendship with Sora. As the game goes on, these unlocked memories would become more distorted, with Namine gradually worming into them - first as a figure on the periphery, then co-existing with Riku and Kairi in their childhood, then ultimately replacing Kairi. This idea already exists in the game through dialogue - some of it quite well-written - but this would have been far more impactful IMO, and expanded the lore of the series in the areas that actually deserve it.

Now - that’s a lot of negatives, and you may be thinking right now that I became disenchanted with CoM after this play-through. But in fact, I didn’t. As I said, the flaws it has that became trends aren’t nearly as ugly here as they would become, and the flaws it has unique to itself aren’t deal breakers. And this game has elements that are executed so well, that they make up for nearly all of these flaws, and turn this game into what I feel - at least at this point, with more games to revisit - is the best character piece in the series. And the character in question is none other than our hero, Sora.

To begin with - even more than replaying KH I, replaying CoM demonstrates how far Sora’s IQ has fallen in recent titles. The Sora of DDD and KH III would have been slack-jawed and buggy-eyed, constantly baffled by the nature of Castle Oblivion, throughout the game. This Sora catches on quickly to how these projections of memory and people work, which is quite welcome. As in KH I, he is still clearly a childlike teen with a lot of zest and optimism, but he isn’t incapable of getting down to business, and he’s realistically triggered by setbacks and trauma.

And boy, does he come in for trauma on this game. If other aspects of this game suffer in their pacing, the slow build to Sora’s disoriented, lost, and broken state of mind when the truth about Namine comes out is fantastic in this game. The way Namine is revealed over time plays a big role in that, even if the player can see it coming, but the timing on when Sora shifts gears is wonderfully placed, the dual memory moment being a highlight. When he breaks with Donald and Goofy, it feels truly earned, and that dovetails nicely into the Destiny Islands story material. Prior to this playthrough, I actually remembered Sora going even darker - for some reason, I thought he was the one to kill Vexen. But the grim, even ruthless, look on his face when he defeats Axel and finishes Marluxia are enough to sell that having his mind scrambled leaves Sora in a dark place. I daresay that the angry and fragmented person he becomes over the course of the game should have been the model for Roxas’s personality...but my unpopular thoughts on Roxas are best saved for after I replay KH II.

It’s the breaking of Sora’s mind, more than any scheme of Marluxia’s, that really drive the conflict in this story, and Namine’s role in that as the reluctant breaker turned savior is quite effective. I can’t say she’s at the top of my list of favorite characters from this series, but she is a unique and engaging presence, who I’ll have more to say about after replaying KH II. The role Repliku plays in the story is even better IMO, even if clustering all his material in the back half of the game seems a poor pacing decision. I don’t know whether this was intentional or not, but the sheer level of vindictiveness and hatred that Repliku expresses towards Sora, and the reactions that draws out of him, were a great way to indirectly express any lingering fears or doubts Sora might have developed about his friend after the events of KH I. (Though one must ask why the real Riku didn’t appear in Sora’s memories of Monstro or Neverland.)

Lastly, we come to Kairi, who plays a significant role in this game without ever actually appearing in it before a clip during the credits. That Kairi, and Namine, serve almost entirely as objects for the hero to save is unfortunate, as is the fact that Kairi is more intrinsically tied to the heart of this game’s story than she is KH III’s.  But that said - at least she is relevant. I’ll also credit this game for, intentionally or not, showing how unhealthy a single-minded obsession on protecting and saving the “princess” can become.

Where Kairi’s role really comes home to roost is in this game introducing the phrase that Kairi is the most important person to Sora. That they were more than friends, and that they were bound together, was well-established in KH I, but the point is really driven home here, largely through Namine’s machinations but also in smaller details, such as the dialogue given over to the three friends on Destiny Islands. This side to their relationship is so stressed, and so central to this game, that I really can’t understand all the comments about KH III “finally” making it canon - Sora’s side of it, at least, has been so from Day 1 of this series.

The one missed note in this aspect of the plot is in the dialogue right before the final floor begins, discussing the fake memories. Just a word from Namine about how her fake memories held the power they did because they were built on truth, with herself grafted over Kairi, would have been nice. But even without that beat, it’s a wonderfully handled story element. I really can’t put into words how satisfying I find Sora’s arc in this game, or the fact that it actually is central to the game, the primary thread in its narrative, something that shouldn’t have to be remarked upon in a series with one central protagonist. For the strength of that arc, and the joy of the gameplay, I still give Chain of Memories high marks. It can’t compare to its predecessor for overall quality, but what strengths it has overpower so much else about it.

I suppose now I should revisit Reverse/Rebirth...the tax one has to pay in a proper re-visit before getting to KH II...bleh. 

[kazamastar]

Welcome to 2019

Version 3.0 : Final Version - Wow. February and finally, the 9th is here. All of you my 488 followers can finally enjoy it (372 by the end of 2017). I’ve never been that late to write a sum up but it’s pretty obvious that if it took me so much time to do it, then deep down I didn’t want to do it. Indeed I was about to let that sink in and leave this post with the version 2.0. But I remembered I had one person to honor. And this is what this year 2018 is about : focusion on the good actions and the good people. Because spoiler alert : this year 2018 have been on some other level of shit. More than 2013, 2014 and 2017 combined.

Pic : Plot twist. No more smile. No more bowtie.

Well let’s do some quickmaths : as i said we upgraded from 372 to 488 followers (and roughly 2,241 posts). For the 9th time I have to say that I have mad love for y’all (except fake pr0n blogs, y’all aint shit). For the humans that still follow me : thank you. And I’ll have even more love for the poeple who read this until the end haha. I have to apologize because these last months my tumblr looks pretty much like a mess, between the heartbreaking lyrics, quotes, passive agressive posts than only a few people can understand ... And that’s all because of that one follower I lost (y’all understood it was an euphemism). But to be accurate, I don’t want this post to become another heartbreak post : there are already too much of them on my tumblr. Indeed, it’s one of the main contraints I forced myself to write under. Because “l’art naît de contraintes” (Art rises from contraints) like Van Gogh said. So : not another heartbreak post where I pour my heart out for a girl who won’t even read it (guess I’ve done enough with the Helsinki post).  But it’s kinda difficult because this break up is the main reason my 4 last months of 2018 (and on...) have been so so awful and so much things happened because of this. But nevermind I’ll do my best. I’ll do my best because like I said, this post is more about love. This break up surely made me less human, mistrustful, but still, I’m writting because I’ve seen beautiful actions that had to be honored. But we’ll see that later. What other contraints for this 9th sum up ? A young lady I’ve met this year challenged me to write 2 good things for 1 bad that happened to me this year. I’m sorry, I failed ahah. I found more good than bad, but that 2 for 1 ratio was a bit too much ahah. Désolé ma grande ;) And because of this, I had to have a kind of draft for writting, even though I always told myself these sum up needed to be written without drafts, to keep them kinda “natural”. Looks like I’m taking this more and more seriously haha. Well, when I say that this year have been worse than my 3 worst years combined this is not a joke. Have you ever told yourself for example “Wow I left all my stuff in the car, I would be deadly unlucky if someone would break into it and stole everything !” ...Yes, that’s that level of mischance. Because this happened to me btw. And that’s the spirit of this whole year. In “Welcome to 2016″ I remember talking about “mala suerte” ... that was bullshit, 2018 is the real mala suerte. The heartbreak of this year is the worst of my whole life by far, then I’ve been close to what I dreamt of in karate, what I fight for since 2011, had 2 chances to get it this year and I still not got it by a hair’s breadth. Dad got into a crash car, hopefully only the car got wrecked. (so sad it won’t take me again to Andorra haha) People kept on deceiving me. Close friends but also unknowns.

People close to me know how much I cherish friendship. If you’re my friend and you’re not doing well, then I’m already on my way to yours to fix you. No exceptions. Even faster if it’s because of a heartbreak, because heartbroken people should never feel lonely. It’s that simple. SO when I see fuckers I have been there for through ups, downs and heartbreaks and these people are not even able to give it back to me I can’t help being mad. And I don’t act like that in order to make people give that kindness back to me, that’s not the purpose. But I do hate ungratefulness. So, I had to go through a heartbreak again and I saw people disappear again. So that’s enough lines wasted talking about these people. I also have to talk about those who were there. In 2018 I also found an awesome training partner and got closer to her clan. That’s a positive energy I really needed on that 2nd half of 2018. Par ailleurs, tu liras surement jamais ça mais je me permets une parenthèse pour te dire encore une fois Merci Julie pour avoir sauvé ma vie. This kind of old friendship is priceless to me. We can also talk about some young friendship : in march I met someone (almost my best 2018, except I didn’t manage to define an encounter good enough to define it as the best of 2018) who made me go deeper into Tekken, making me getting closer to the Tekken community in Tls. Funny how I always dreamt of this when I was a kid and this is happening. Indeed I’m living the shonen life : I’m in a group (where I met some really lovely people), I’m not the strongest but hell I do what I can to improve and that’s begining to pay even if i won’t forget the 68-0 against sensei, and like in karate I still aim to the top. It’s funny to be inside another competitive world where people don’t have all the values we have in karate. Some of these Tekken people (in the whole country, not only in Toulouse) show off, are mean to each other etc ... And also like in karate, we admire asians for being the best to do it in the whole world. What else ? I became a karate teacher. Took me a bit of time, it wasn’t hard but just took me time and dedication. I still met some great people all along this experience. I made peace with the old pals, vacays together were really incredible. Some of the sweetest days of this year. One of the sweetest day this year was the day I worked hard as hell and went back “home” to the one I love. What a lovely feeling. But I guess we didn’t lived it the same way ... Then, I also had the chance to make a karate lesson in the 1st place I’ve been taught karate !!! This was outstanding because I love to give back to those who gave me, and I love to inspire people. So, it was such a pleasure to tell these kids “I was standing where you are now. I started like you and I’ve been getting stronger and stronger. If I did it you can do it too !!!”. I truly believe some of those kids are about to be deadly strong, hopefully I’ll be done with competition haha. Talking about competition, i sadly lost my title in Andorra by mid June.  At the end of the competition, I promised to come back stronger and to revenge but there will be no revenge as this competition will not be repeated in 2019. Indeed, this Andorra 2018 was a great competition and a great trip. A cool trip, great team, great mates, a lot of alcohol, a good hotel room, and love ... so much love. A deadly hangover, but a lot of love. Sadly, there would not have been love again, as 1414 who was my coach for the weekend, my partner on the tatami and in life decided to take a different path from mine. Indeed, I promised to not talk too much about that but this is all the 2nd half of 2018 is about : me trying not to drown because of this heartbreak and it feels like everything is related to that. I got cocky and forgot the 1st and only love lesson my father taught me “nothing lasts forever, mostly in love”. Damn he was right. Even my mother was right for not trusting her at the begining, and God knows she’s never right usually. I won’t even mention what that break up costed me. But as the big bro says : there were no house, no kids, no joined bank account ... Only wasted times and dead dreams now. “La mort d’un rêve” ... it’s still something painful. S. is now a dead dream. I cannot imagine my own flesh meeting some destructive people like the ones I met and going through hard times like I’m going through. I wouldn’t be able to handle it. So no more S. and no more L., and it’s a hell of a problem as I’ve always built my life around the fact that I wanted them. And it’s painful because I wanted them with her. Nevermind, no one will ever know “what a great father I could be” as 1414 said. So much dreams. Gone. My 5 brothers took care of me as much as they could and they did amazingly great. I’ll never thank God enough for putting these guys into my life. Hope they know how much I love them. That was sad to see another one of them going back to his motherland but ... what an amazing last evening in Toulouse we spent. I’ll never forget this one.

Still talking about the break up and all the bad that happened this year : tbh I couldn’t draw good lessons from all of these bad things. Really. But like I said, I’ve seen good things coming from good people. So now I need to talk about 27. First of all, 27 was right on so many levels. (yes, I use numbers to not drop real names). Those who know me know that I love to experience, live everything. I would have been better without this heartbreak but still, it taught me new things. I could understand 27 better. When she talked about hell, she wasn’t joking at all. The doubts, the negativity, the hate, self-hate ... I think that’s too much to handle. But still, she still tried to help me when she saw me going through that hell. I couldn‘t thank her enough for this and that must be remembered. This is the whole reason I still wanted to write this sum up, in spite of all the bad things that happened. It was like : a soul lending a hand to another soul. Merci. Je ne l’oublierai jamais, je t’en dois une belle. Et toujours d’une âme à une autre. Tu dis le contraire mais tu as une belle âme et je suis sûr qu’il te reste beaucoup d’amour à donner. Tu as trop à donner à ce monde (en espérant que tu me lises un jour)

Also, I could understand 26 better. [...] And 26 still have the most beautiful smile in the whole world. No transition : Najwa Zebian said that « it’s unfair that new people in my life will have to destroy walls around me they didn’t even built » (btw I love this woman, she also had a big impact on my life through her reflexions) and I can tell she’s right but … trusting people is so hard these days. I really don’t know what to think about this statement. I think I’ve always been picky about who I let close to me and I still got fucked up by my ex-lover, my entourage … It’s all about who to trust, who to let in and who to cut … And it feels like I’ve been making the wrong decisions for years.

It’s starting getting late so let me end up with facts nobody cares. Neutral facts : I discovered lofi this year, my hero academia (FUCKING AWESOME !!!!), Tokyo Ghoul, 7DS, sword art online (great !!), la casa de papel, stranger things, sherlock, IP MAN 3, the good place, misfits, Juice Wrld blew up this year, NAV, Dosseh ... Funny how I discovered some of the saddest love song this year haha. Bad facts : I got injuried a lot. Females still played me a lot. Indeed I realized females are cruel but I still love them. This might be the proof we don’t chose our sexual orientation haha. Then, I couldn’t train properly from Sept to Dec. Oh, I can’t listen anymore to : Nicki, Kehlani, Rihanna or Cardi B. “More life” or “Views from the 6″ are albums I can’t listen to anymore. Well, GOOD FACTS now ! : Got a karate gi from J. (outstanding move), I put the young bloods in high school at Tekken and mangas haha. I met 80′s family and it was like a dream and I’m sure I got luckied in another dimension haha. 80 and 90 are still close to perfection in my eyes. 30 is still 30, with good and bad moods. I’m in peace with the sensei. I also received one of the best gift of my life. I learned that I was able to train by myself thanks to my power of mind !  To finish, I saw that I was able to forgive and still give love, even if it was pointless and too late.

Well, 2019 has already started and this will sure be a hell of a ride (January was ... special) as now I’m like on some quicksand shit. Let’s go ! And let’s not forget those 2018 that marked this year and I’ll surely be listening to in a decade (you need to know that I still listen to all the songs in the previous sum ups !). Enjoy :)

2018 Playlist

Dvsn - The morning after

Youv Dee - Opening

Tory Lanez - 48 floors

Roy Woods - Instinct feat MadeInTYO

XXXTENTACION - SAD!

Damso - Smog X Kyle - Ikuyo

Dosseh - Cœur de pirate X Guordan Banks - Keep you in mind

Marwa Loud - Je voulais (feat Laguardia)

Bazzi - Honest X Omar Kadir - The last thing I do

Oboy - Nuit X NAV - What I need

The Magician - Love break feat Hamza

Dinos - Les pleurs du mal

⚡ Dinos - Helsinki X Logic - The Glorious Five X Laylow - Digitalova ⚡

(Albums :6lack - East Atlanta love letter X Juice WRLD & Future - Wrld on drugs X Tory Lanez - Love me now & memories don’t die)