#the real rude thing to do would for him to cling on to life all of the next episode as if he's crucified

[setmeatopthepyre]

I'm convinced Bobby Nash has to die. Now hear me out!! Cause I don't think he has to stay dead. In fact, it fits better if he doesn't. Here's the thing: Bobby believes he should have died in the fire that killed his family and all those people. It really seems there is absolutely no way for him to feel any closure on that, except, maybe, dying in/as a result of/in the vicinity of a fire after saving his family, aka Athena. A fire that burned down his now-family's home.

In Bobby Begins Again, Bobby is told You want to be punished? Your punishment is that you lived. Now make it worth a damn. And all this 'putting his affairs in order' stuff is kind of him double-checking that he really did make it worth a damn. For other people. Not for himself. He still doesn't believe he deserves any sort of happy ending. So, him dying and then living, just like Buck, would be another perfect little joke from his God, a sort of, You want to die for your sins? Fine. Now you have. Now live and be free of them.

Dying for your sins sound familiar? A little Jesus-y? Yeah, it fits right into all the religious symbolism we got in Step 9, aka the very Bobby-centric episode we just had! @exhuastedpigeon made a really good post about it.

In the previous episode, we saw that Bobby had his addiction practically passed down to him by his father, like an original sin. He wandered the desert, he carried his cross. In this episode, he had his last meal and though he didn't quite literally pray with his family, he did give Eddie a book of catholic prayers...

So if we're following that theme, if Bobby is to get the closure he has been wishing for ever since that fire happened, he might just have to die. But we all know Jesus didn't exactly stay dead either.

[brayneworms]

gouge away (if you want to) | johnny joestar

kinktober day ten: kissing

word count. 2.4k

content. disabled johnny, but like his prostate works, anal fingering, prostate orgasm, kissing, johnny cries after sex it's canon, gender-neutral reader, fluff, mentions of ableism, established relationship, this is sappy

♪ gouge away - pixies

kinktober mlist | regular mlist

For a while—a long while—after his accident, Johnny thought he'd never be with someone again.

A part of it was the paralysis. Okay, a big part of it was. He learns after using the chair for a bit that he sorta stops becoming a real person to most people, that their eyes just sorta slide past him. Oh no, how sad, that guy in the chair must have it so bad. Don't be rude and stare, now. Sometimes he wishes they would stare at him, like he knows they wanna. He almost finds their determination to ignore him totally more jarring.

And that's only half the problem. The other part is that even if he could find someone, his goddamn dick doesn't work anymore. Which would for sure pose a problem. So Johnny resigns himself miserably to a sexless and potentially loveless life, and pretends it doesn't make him want to die.

Still. Anyways. It all seems kinda redundant now, 'cause he's lying under the sky in the dirt with his pants halfway off, and you're—you're doing something, or you're tryin' something that Johnny is extremely skeptical about. A bit of time travelling with Gyro had taught him many times that there was a lot of things about the human body he was ignorant of, but he still can't help but be dubious of the claim you made to him a few minutes ago.

I'm gonna make you cum.

At once, a protest had risen to his lips. You can't. Almost a reflex. You'd cocked your head in inquiry, and Johnny had gone redder, down to the tips of his ears hidden by his hat. It's my—it doesn't work. Down there doesn't...

You seem to consider this for a few moments. Then you say, there's something else we can try.

You disappear inside the tent and come out with the bottle of aloe vera they'd been using to treat the burns that had blistered as a result of the unforgiving desert sun. He had red peeling skin all up his shoulders and the bridge of his nose.

He watches dubiously as you squeeze a clear, cold glob onto your fingers. "Wh—where are those goin'?"

He's pretty sure he has an idea.

"You know what a prostate is, Johnny dear?" You always call him that. Johnny dear, like it's all one word. Johnnydear. He always gripes and groans about it and then has to turn away extremely quickly to hide his flush. He's going to examine the reaction he gets when you baby him sometime, he promises himself, just not right now. He's got a lotta shit on his plate, okay? Corpses to find and such.

"N-no," he answers, stammering when you kneel between his legs and spread his thighs gently apart. He sucks in a breath; one of your fingers leaves a cool trail of aloe along the skin there.

"A prostate," you tell him patiently, like you're not situated between his naked thighs, "is a gland that people with your particular reproductory set are born with."

"You sound like Gyro," he mutters. "Kinda killing the mood a little."

"I just want to make sure you're fully informed." You roll your eyes. "It's just that you're leaking precum, see?" To his mortification, you swipe your fingers over the tip of the dick he can't feel and hold them up; under the starlight, they gleam, and he burns with embarrassment. "Means you might be able to feel it. Means I might be able to make you cum."

Johnny swallows hard. He wants—it sounds good. Sounds great. But with the hope comes that fear, an ever-present shadow. What if it doesn't work?

"Hey." You lean over him, and before Johnny can protest you've captured his lips, a slow, deliberate cling. Johnny loves kissing you. He thinks it might be his favourite thing to do, other than jockeying and he can't do that anymore, so this takes an automatic first place. He sighs and melts against you like softened butter, his hands winding themselves over your shoulder and jaw. He loves everything about it. The closeness, the slow gentle intimacy, the way you smell. That last part is probably weird, 'cause you mostly smell like sweat and leather, but Johnny likes it all the same.

You kiss for a while; one of your hand strokes soothing shapes into his ribcage. When you pull back, the panic that had been rearing up inside him has faded to a dull murmur.

"Don't get in your head about it," you whisper. "If you can't feel it, then that's that. You know I won't think less of you."

A lump rises in Johnny's throat, and he shields his eyes from the burning sun of you seein' right through him. "I know," he says, almost petulantly.

"So? Wanna give it a try?"

A part of him doesn't. A part of him is so, so scared. But a bigger part of him, the one that likes kissing you and likes the way you smell and the way you touch him and look at him and everything, really, is nodding before that first part can protest. You kiss him again with a smile, a little faster, a little dirtier this time. This is another thing Johnny likes about kissing—it can take so many different forms. Even if he did find the corpse pieces and get the use of his legs back, Johnny reckons he'd still like kissing more than real sex.

Your mouth starts moving down, sweeping the sensitive skin of his neck and collarbones, the valleys of his pectorals, a nipple. The last one makes Johnny gasp and you giggle, and he splays a palm over his face in embarrassment. You coax such stupid noises outta him. But you seem to enjoy it, so whatever.

Down, down, down. Somewhere between his navel and his pubic bone he stops feeling it. But it still somehow feels sorta nice, which doesn't make a whole lotta sense but it does to him, so. He watches you between his fingers as you reach between his legs, he thinks prodding.

You look up at him. "I'm going to put a finger in, okay?"

Johnny nods eagerly. "Don't gotta tell me. I won't feel it."

You roll your eyes. "I'm still gonna tell you. We can stop whenever, okay?"

"Okay," Johnny says impatiently, and wiggles his hips. You smack his hipbone playfully, which does nothing to temper his brattiness on account of him not feelin' a fuckin' thing. Then you get a quiet, serious, concentrated look on your face that Johnny usually only sees when you're fighting. Or when he's making you cum. That expression, more than any of your words or hesitation, it what makes him quiet down and take it serious.

There's a silence that stretches on. Johnny supposes you must be doin' something, considering the slight furrow he can see between your brows and the achingly careful, gradual movement of your wrist. Finally, after about a minute, you look up at him.

"My finger's in," you tell him, and Johnny bites his lip.

"Can't feel it," he says. He's starting to think this was a really bad idea.

"Just lemme—hold on," you say, and your wrist moves a little, and then—

Johnny keens. He feels, he fuckin' feels so much that it lights him up from the inside and sets his nerves alight, some part deep inside him that he didn't even know existed 'till five minutes ago and it's so good it immediately brings tears to his eyes.

"Oh," he says like he's surprised, and he is, apparently so much so that it's all he can say. "O-oh, oh, oh—"

Your finger retracts back into nothingness, and Johnny bites back a sob. "Johnny?" you ask worriedly. "Did you—is it too much?"

"No, no," he babbles, feeling incoherent already. You brush his hair back from his face with your free hand, the one that ain't inside him, your thumb stroking over his cheek. "It was—fuck, felt so weird. But good. Really, really good. Can you—are you gonna do it again?"

"Will if you want me to," you answer lovingly, and Johnny is biting back another sob for a whole different reason. "Might be a bit intense, Johnny dear. You sure you wanna?"

"Yes, yeah." He stares up at you beseechingly, feeling a bit pathetic but also too far gone to give a shit. "Please, I wanna—I wanna feel it again."

You nod, leaning over to kiss him again. Johnny relaxes into the embrace, losing himself in the familiar touch of your lips, the smell of you, taking the bite out of his surge of panic—and then with no warning you're brushing against that spot inside him again and he's moaning into your mouth, loud and unrestrained. It's pitchy and startled, and your free hand cups the back of his head as he pulls away in shock.

"Fuck, Jesus Christ," he swears, slamming his head back against the dirt. "O-oh, oh god, ohgodohgod—"

"Still good?" you ask, and your fingers made a weird sort of curling motion and it occurs to Johnny that you're movin' them in and out, sort of like you would if you were actually fucking him, and the thought makes him flush so hard he feels feverish. You're fucking him. You're fucking him.

He nods deliriously. "Mhm, yeah," he gasps out, feeling breathless, feeling giddy. "Don't stop, feels so fuckin' good, oh my god."

Your fingers press into him over and over like you're ringin' a bell, and all the while you kiss him and for the first time in ages Johnny feels that both parts of his body are equal. The bottom half has come alive under your jackhammering fingers, the top half consumed by you and your kiss. The kissing makes it so much better, 'cause Johnny reckons if anyone else had their fingers in his ass he'd probably hate it even if they were touching his whatdidyoucallit like that and making him feel amazing. He'd hate it 'cause they wouldn't be you.

The kissing reminds him it's you. The chaps on your lips, the smell of you, the feel of your face and skin, your body pressing into his. It's so all consuming it makes him wanna cry, in a good way, in a weird way. Your fingers move faster and weirder, and Johnny starts making those stupid oh! oh! noises again, stifling them against your mouth, and your tongue presses in and you swallow them whole.

All too soon, Johnny feels a weird tightening, one he hasn't felt since before the incident. He feels a constriction of panic, his fingers clutching at your clothing. "I—hah!—I f-feel weird."

"Bad weird?" Your fingers slow down, nearly stop, and Johnny whines.

"No, no, good weird, good," he pants. "Move again, fuck."

You pick up the pace; Johnny shudders, tensing in your hold all over again. He feels like he's burning, like he's sweating out everything bad he's ever felt.

"Do you mean you're gonna cum?" you ask, your voice lower this time, so close to Johnny's ear it makes him shiver. The harsh brush of your chapped lips against the soft skin there makes his body feel electric.

"I think," he whispers, eyes screwing shut. "Sorry—oh—I think, yeah."

"Don't feel sorry," you tell him almost sternly. "I want to see you cum, Johnny. Wanna see you cum so hard your pretty little head goes blank. You deserve it, yeah?"

"Yeah," he gasps out. "I deserve it."

What you do next with your fingers is almost brutal in the wracks of shivering pleasure it sends simmering through Johnny's body; every curl of them has him writhing and gasping and moaning, he must sound so stupid but you seem to be liking it and fuck, he's liking it, he likes feeling a little stupid and helpless while you take care of him and he's definitely gonna have to unpack that, but later, 'cause—

"I'm gonna cum," he gasps, hands flying out to curl in your clothing. "Baby, baby, I'm gonna cum, I—kiss me? Kiss me, okay, I wanna, oh, oh oh oh—"

You crash your lips together, and your fingers curl up one last lingering time and Johnny shatters. White stars explode over his vision, shatter inside his head, and for a split second it feels like every cell in his body freezes up and screams and dies. He's vaguely aware of some long, drawn-out, breathless noise he's making and the way you swallow it with your mouth.

It takes several seconds for him to come back down to earth. When he does it's to the sensation of you running your fingers through his hair and pressing soft, feathery kisses to his cheeks.

He pants like a dog. When you see his blue eyes on you, you sit up, seem to retract your fingers from between his legs. Your image starts to blur, and Johnny sees your expression crease in concern. He realises he's crying. Not like, actually, not like he's got something to be upset about. He's just... tearing up. Like someone's turned a faucet on behind his eyes and just left it there. He pushes the heels of his hands into the sockets and presses down, willing it to stop, willing the overwhelming feeling blooming in his chest to deflate.

"Hey, hey." Your voice, low and soothing, pressed into his hair, your arms holding him tightly. "You okay?"

"Yes," he says almost angrily. "I'm fine. Dunno why I'm—fuck. Sorry. I'm good, I promise I'm good. That was... so, so good."

Your expression of concern gives way slightly. "You sure?"

"Yeah." Johnny sucks in a shaky, wet breath. "Thanks. Thank you. I didn't even... I didn't even know I could feel like that anymore. Not just 'cause of—you know." He gestures vaguely to the lower half of his body. "All of it. Like, I didn't think anyone would wanna—while I'm still like this. And I—I figured I didn't deserve it, or something. But... it was really good."

Your smile is a little sad. "I'm glad, Johnny dear. I'm glad you enjoyed it. Now that we know it works, we can do it again. And again, and again." He flushes, and you laugh sweetly, and Johnny could just die to the sound of it. "Still, we should get some rest for tonight. Gyro will skin us alive if we oversleep again."

You're right, of course. Johnny lets you maneuvre him onto his sleeping skin, and you unroll yours right next to him. When you do, Johnny reaches for you, clinging like a damn insect. But you don't seem to mind, 'cause you wrap your arms around his waist and bring him in even closer. He tucks his head into your shoulder.

He thinks that he'll get to kiss you tomorrow, too.

His sleep is dreamless and deep.

[amethystina]

So my brain is at it again...

And this time it wanted to inform me that it would be very interesting with an amnesia fic where Ga On loses his memories but can still detect emotions related to those memories. Just imagine the possibilities.

Quick disclaimer: I'm sure there are several amnesia fics in the fandom already — maybe even one exactly like this — but I haven't read them so I'm just going to tell you all about it anyway because, to me, it's a new idea xD

Anyhow.

Imagine him waking up at the hospital, sometime during the later half of the drama (maybe he got shot instead of Soo Hyun and complications led to him getting memory loss — idk, let's handwave it for the sake of the scenario), and he's met by Soo Hyun and Professor Min. And while Ga On can't say what their names are, he can tell that he knows them. He can't access the memories but he feels the affection and the trust and accepts that they must have been a part of his life previously. And, understandably, they become the rocks he clings to because everything is new and confusing. He can still remember how to do basic things — he could probably even drive if they put him inside a car — but not who he is.

And Soo Hyun and Professor Min are going to have a rough time explaining some of it, no doubt.

Like, imagine the pain when Ga On asks where his parents are and even before Soo Hyun or Professor Min say anything, Ga On feels a rush of grief and anger. Because he doesn't remember them dying, but his body remembers the anguish of that tragedy all the same.

Some things are more humourous, though. Like: "... why is my face plastered all over the city? Am I famous?" Ga On would be so confused because the emotions he feels as he sees billboards with his own face aren't necessarily good ones. He mostly feels embarrassed and self-conscious. But he is kind of proud when he hears that he's a judge. It must mean he's smart.

Anyhow. The real fun part begins when Soo Hyun brings Ga On back to his apartment and Ga On is like: "Yeah, this is familiar." But he can also tell that, no, it's not right. It's not home. It feels cold and stale, as if he's not really living there anymore. And he doesn't understand why. Because, according to Soo Hyun, he's been doing so since he was a kid. But Ga On just shrugs his confusion off because, all things considered, he trusts Soo Hyun more than his own memory.

Also, imagine when he asks Soo Hyun if he has a girlfriend and she looks stunned, then awkward, then shy, and starts giving some mumbled response that no, he doesn't — at least not that she knows of. And Ga On has an "oh" moment because her behaviour makes it very clear that she'd want to be that girlfriend. But then he'd get confused because what he feels when he looks at her is a lot of warmth and love, sure, but not that kind of love.

Because this Ga On doesn't have years of memories to confuse him and muddle their relationship — he just feels the emotions. And, from his currently pretty objective point of view, it doesn't seem like romantic love.

He may love Yoon Soo Hyun very much, but he's not in love with her.

He doesn't tell her that, of course, because that would be rude, but he definitely makes a mental note to be careful with how he acts around her because he doesn't want to accidentally lead her on.

And it continues like that, with Ga On trying to navigate the world with nothing but emotions to go on. Which, obviously, will sometimes become very overwhelming for him, but he's stubborn so he'd still try and, of course, do his best to recover his memories. And some start to trickle in eventually, but it mostly old ones that are very deeply ingrained in his psyche.

Eventually, Professor Min decides to bring Ga On to the Supreme Court. Not to make him go back to work or anything — that would probably be disastrous considering the state Ga On is in — but to see if any of it can jog Ga On's memory. And sure, Ga On can tell that he's been in his office before and he can tell that he's met Jin Joo before — he feels both intimidated and bewildered by her — but nothing really stands out. All of it is just like ghostly silhouettes of a former life he knows he must have had but can't see clearly.

And then he meets Yo Han.

Just sees him from afar at first — Yo Han isn't even looking in Ga On's direction — but the familiarity still hits Ga On like a freight train. That is someone he knows as instinctively as he knew Soo Hyun and Professor Min. And before Ga On can really think things through, he just walks up to Yo Han because, clearly, this man is important. Ga On can tell that this man is important because his heart starts racing, his breaths go shallow, and he's suddenly overwhelmed by such a myriad of confusing and conflicting emotions he can't even sort them out. Some are negative — even outright alarming — but there's also joy and fondness and longing.

Which just makes him even more confused when Professor Min catches up and explains that this is Ga On's boss. And said boss looks at Ga On with what he first thinks is bland indifference. But the longer he stands there — and listens to Professor Min tersely explaining what they're doing there to Yo Han with half an ear — Ga On realises that, no, that's not indifference. There's something underneath it — a spark of something else he can't name but can definitely tell means something. And he desperately wants to know what that something is. He wants to scratch at it until he can peel away the layer of indifference hiding it from sight.

He needs to know.

But then, not long after that thought has crossed his mind, Ga On is reminded of the fact that this is, apparently, his boss. His male boss. And Ga On really shouldn't be feeling any of the things he's feeling. But, at the same time, he can't just ignore it. Because this is what a connection should feel like.

He might not have a girlfriend but, clearly, he has someone he's in love with.

And that's a little daunting, not to mention disorienting. Because Yo Han doesn't look approachable at all, and there is also a lot of frustration and anger mixed in with the much happier emotions when Ga On looks at Yo Han. There's just so much. And Ga On is confused because he can't really see himself falling in love with the man in front of him. Yo Han doesn't look like a very kind man.

And then, suddenly, Ga On realises that he has no idea if Yo Han knows that Ga On is in love with him. Maybe they're even a couple? It sure seems like they could be considering the attachment Ga On feels. He gets impulses to be physical in a way he hasn't with anyone else he's met thus far. He felt comfort hugging Soo Hyun, sure, but this is something else entirely. This is a need burning inside of him, urging him to draw closer to Yo Han.

He kind of wants to kiss Yo Han, right there in the corridors of the Supreme Court.

But Ga On can't be sure because Yo Han isn't exactly easy to read and aside from that spark of something when he looks at Ga On, Yo Han is impenetrable. And, if they were a couple, wouldn't Yo Han have insisted on finding Ga On earlier? Even if they have some sort of secret relationship that Soo Hyun clearly isn't aware of? Shouldn't Yo Han look more worried?

So maybe they're not together? And Ga On is just hopelessly in love with his boss? A boss who, judging by the way he looks at Ga On, might not even like Ga On.

Whichever it might be, Ga On realises he has to find out. His old memories are already trickling in, slowly but surely, but they're all of Soo Hyun and Ga On's parents and stuff that happened ages ago. And Ga On wants to know more about his life now. He wants to know more about Yo Han.

And he desperately needs to know if his feelings are reciprocated.

Even if it will definitely break his heart if he finds out that they're not.

...

SO YEAH.

It would be quite fun, wouldn't it? If I can find a way to make the story relatively short, I might just write it. Because I'm really intrigued by the concept of Ga On still having the emotions attached to the memories, but not the memories themselves. So he'll remember being both frustrated by and attracted to Yo Han. But without all the memories and years of influence from Professor Min and Soo Hyun fresh in mind, he wouldn't understand the negative emotions as much, nor put as much weight on them.

And it would be interesting to see how that would change their dynamic.

Because some of Ga On's behaviour would still be the same — he'd still be stubborn, righteous, a bit awkward etc. — but he'd also be freer. And a lot freer to act.

So that would be interesting, I think?

And now my brain will hopefully let go of this story and let me focus on other things for a while

[fleurywiththesave]

@whatsaboomlakalaka sent me this and then things just kind of spiraled. i have no idea when this fic is supposed to take place, so it's whatever your little heart desires.

Leon knows while the wall is rushing up at him that it’s going to be bad, and there’s nothing he can do about it. At least it’s not my head, he thinks when his knee makes contact, but it’s cold comfort. There’s no way he’s going to be able to skate off the ice. He lets himself lie there in a ball and debate how difficult it would really be to just stay put forever. Davo would bring him food, probably. They could make a movie with Tom Hanks, maybe put up a little plaque. Here lies Leon Draisaitl. He’s not dead, we just can’t get him to leave.

“Can you hear me, Drai?” one of the linesmen asks. He nods. “Okay, how about we get you to the bench?”

“Can’t,” Leon tells him.

“What did you hit?”

“My knee.” The linesman hisses in sympathy.

“I’ll help you.”

“Nope,” Leon says. “No way for me to stand up without making it way worse. I live here now.” The linesman sighs and Leon hears him skate away. Probably to get reinforcements, but maybe to bring him a blanket and some hot chocolate. That would be nice.

At Worlds, of all places? It might, might, be worth it for the Cup. But Worlds? That’s like setting your kitchen on fire for a frozen pizza instead of Baked Alaska. Leon needs to write someone a strongly worded letter.

“All right, let’s try this again.” He did not bring a blanket and hot chocolate. Rude.

“Still no way for me to stand up,” Leon says.

“I can help you there.” Leon looks up at that. Matthew is kneeling on the ice next to him, smiling. His real smile, not his media smile. “Come on, Leo.”

“I really don’t think I can get up,” Leon repeats.

“You don’t need to.” Matthew and the linesman each wrap an arm around his back and get him vertical, then Matthew tucks his other arm under Leon’s legs and lifts him up, like it’s nothing.

“Jesus,” Leon manages, clinging to Matthew’s shoulders. He knew Matthew was strong, obviously – he’s personally experienced it before – but not like this. He’s skating. He can hold Leon and skate at the same time.

“Nah, just me.” There’s a lot of cheering coming from the audience, but Leon has a feeling there are also a lot of confused looks coming from their teammates. He doesn’t look around to see.

“I don’t think we’re going to be a secret anymore,” he murmurs in Matthew’s ear.

“Good, I was getting pretty bad at hiding it. Besides, Taryn is always saying I should do something really dramatic about it. I don’t think this is quite what she had in mind, but it does the trick.” And they’re at the tunnel, medics waiting to take Leon back. “I’ve gotta get back out there, but I’ll be in as soon as the game is over, okay?”

It feels like a very long wait, even though it’s probably only about an hour. Leon is lying on a bed with his knee wrapped and elevated, feeling extremely sorry for himself, when the door opens.

It’s not Matthew. It’s Connor. Who does not look pleased.

“What are you doing here?” Leon asks. “You don’t play until tomorrow.”

“Well, when I got messages from roughly fifty different people asking why Matthew Tkachuk was carrying you off the ice, it seemed like I should probably come investigate.”

Leon winces. He’s really not in the mood for a lecture about mixing business with pleasure or distractions from the game or whatever disapproval Connor is about to hand down.

“I can’t believe you didn’t tell me.”

Well. He can’t say he had that one on his bingo card.

“We didn’t tell anyone,” Leon says. “Except our siblings, and that was mostly just because Brady walked in on us once.” Connor shudders. Leon throws a ball of paper at him.

“You still should’ve told me. What, did you think I’d be mad?” Leon raises his eyebrows and Connor rolls his eyes. “Come on, Drai. Anyone with eyes knows you’ve been stupid gone on him for years. It would’ve been nice to know that I didn’t have to worry about you pining for the rest of your life.”

“I’m deeply touched,” Leon says, but he actually kind of is. He would have felt really bad about it if Connor were genuinely angry or hurt, but now he mostly just looks satisfied to have been right. Plus, if he can handle it, then most other people probably can too.

“Hey, sorry I—oh.” Matthew looks a little flustered. He’s still in his gear and his hair is wild from his helmet.

“I guess congratulations are in order,” Connor says.

“Thanks,” Matthew says cautiously.

“Don’t worry, I’m not going to bite your head off. I’ve been wondering for years if Leon was ever going to get his shit together about you.”

Matthew may have been talking a big game on the ice, but he’s clearly relieved by Connor’s reaction. “He took his sweet time, but we got there in the end.”

“Then I’ll let you take care of him,” Connor says. He pauses on his way out of the room and adds, “By the way, that was pretty impressive.”

“Stop ogling my boyfriend,” Leon snaps. Connor just laughs at him while he leaves.

“What’s the verdict?” Matthew asks.

“They want to take me to the hospital for x-rays,” Leon says glumly.

“Fuck.”

“Yup.” Matthew takes his hand and runs his thumb comfortingly along the back. “Can you talk about something else to distract me?”

“Whatever you want,” Matthew says agreeably. Leon grins.

“So once my knee is better, what else do you think we can do if you pick me up?”

[pokemenlovingmen]

Random selection of Pokeguys with this old classic:

Character: “I wasn’t that drunk last night!”

“You were flirting with S/O.”

Character: “So? He’s my boyfriend.”

“You asked him if he was single.”

“And then cried when he said he wasn’t.”

… you guys know the one I’m talking about right? A big fandom meme but I can’t find the og, if there even was a non fandom-affiliated og. This is probably really convoluted for a shitpost lmao I’m sorry, this is just silly goofiness to me while I wait for requests and the guys here were just kinda picked by who I thought would be the most fun to write.

Content warnings: alcohol consumption and drunkenness

Adaman

💎 — Emotionally devastated but trying so hard not to show it

💎 — Considering he was sloppy-ass drunk enough to ask you, HIS BOYFRIEND, if you were single that’s not really something he’s doing great at

💎 — “Oh nooo that’s so… I’m sorry… oh noooo you’re just so pretty :(“

💎 — He stares vacantly off into the distance, holding back tears while you stare at him and wonder how long it’s gonna take for him to realize.

💎 — It’s kinda pathetic so you give up the joke and tell him the truth, to which he ACTUALLY bursts into tears.

💎 — “Hweuuuhhh Mighty Dialga is truly gracious and kind to have blessed me with your love I’m so luckyyyyyyyyy”

💎 — Just leans against you and sobs for a while, while you pet his hair and try to console him and insist this is real life, and that you’re sorry about the trick. Mai and Irida, who are watching the whole thing, are NOT sorry you pulled this one because it’s fucking hysterical

Melli

💙 — WAILS

💙 — Cue incoherent sobbing into your shoulder about why Mighty Dialga hates him so much that it would torment him with the ethereal beauty that you are that he’s forbidden to have

💙 — If only they existed in Hisui, you might want to grab a velvet chaise for him to lay on and sob dramatically in a very theatrical pose

💙 — When you finally give up the joke and tell him that the person you’re dating is, in fact, him, it’s like you just clicked the off switch. I mean, the tears are definitely still flowing but he shuts up instantly and stares at you like you’ve grown a second head.

💙 — Then starts fanning his face, still clearly crying while trying to look all smug and confident.

💙 — “HMMMMMPH of course I knew that, only I would be worthy of your company anyway” (still visibly crying a river)

💙 — Clings to your side the entire night and also looks like a pathetic wet rat while he does it

Red

🔥 — :(

🔥 — visible despair

🔥 — sad shinji meme

🔥 — he just kind of. sulks. pouting very dramatically.

🔥 — I mean good for you and whoever you’re seeing but he’s very drunk and to him you’re like the hottest man on earth right now??

🔥 — Eventually you put your arm around him and hit him with the “Red honey, I was talking about you. You’re the other person I’m seeing.”

🔥 — …

🔥 — :,D

🔥 — prommy????

Ingo

⚫️ — INSTANT ugly crying but not for the reason you think actually.

⚫️ — “WAUUGH PLEASE FORGIVE MY RUDENESS I DIDN’T MEAN TO IMPOSE I AM SO IGNORANT PLEASE TELL YOUR SIGNIFICANT OTHER I’M SORRYYYYYY”

⚫️ — I mean yeah, he’s also upset you’re apparently not single but all he can think about is how much he must have offended you and AUGH you’re so handsome and sweet and he was so clueless please don’t take it personally he doesn’t really know what’s gotten into him!!!

⚫️ — Probably the one you have to drop the joke the fastest with because you were NOT expecting this reaction at all and between all the sobbing and shouting you’re starting to worry about when the last time he actually took a breath was.

⚫️ — You end up needing to rub his back and scream your own apologies to him because you were only joking, the person you were dating is HIM!

⚫️ — At this he’s now just crying for a different reason, because he’s so lucky and you’re so handsome and he doesn’t know what he did to deserve this.

⚫️ — He calms down pretty fast after that, but never mention that incident to him again

⚫️ — He already doesn’t drink much and remembering how dramatic and off kilter he was being that night just has him actually wanting to curl up in a hole and just. Live there.

Emmet

⚪️ — “Oh! Okay then!”

⚪️ — You’re a bit surprised by his unfazed reaction for being absolutely piss drunk, but after delivering that line he immediately pivots on his heel and speedwalks the hell away.

⚪️ — You call his name at first, and when he doesn’t respond and also looks DEAD SET on leaving whatever event you guys are at, you have to run after him calling his name all the while.

⚪️ — Drunk Emmet thought process: Dear lord, I’ve made a horrible mistake. I am extremely embarrassed. I’m going to immediately vacate the area and probably never come back.

⚪️ — You practically corner him because he is so, so fixated on leaving out of sheer embarrassment when you explain you were just messing with him and the person you’re already dating? That’s him.

⚪️ — By the look on his face, he practically needs one of those little buffering wheels above his head, because he is thinking HARD about this. His entire worldview has shattered. The earth has stopped turning. His wig is gone.

⚪️ — Eventually he just… climbs into your arms and lets you take him back to where you guys were. Both extremely embarrassed for a totally different reason now while simultaneously being in complete and total awe that sober him scored someone like you. Woah.

[erinelliotc]

Some people (including myself) are Eddy apologists for this exact reason too- they can understand why he acts as he acts, where do come from his anger and insatisfaction with his life, and how he often gets a pretty unfair treatmente in some episodes (To Sir with Ed, Sorry Wrong Ed, X Marks the Ed, Who let The Ed In, The Good, The Bad and The Ed). On other side other characters (the kids) act just as bad as him and (almost) always come go unpunished. There several years ago Eddy got lots of hate, he was demonished and treated like a real monster and a sociopath by the fandom, devoid of any redeeming qualities. People who feel sympathy for him for his background and some of these episodes began to come to his defende and shows how he is a great character with a lot of good moments and a heart deep down.

Edd, on other side, always had the ''elite treament'', he was a angel, a perfect princess, who can do anything wrong in certain fans's eyes. Not to mention he pretty much overshadowed every other character on fanfics and fan arts, was everything about him. Another fans (usually Eddy fans) naturally got sick of this and started to push his flaws, the moments were he acted like a jerk, and how he's not above anyone on the show. And how not all his actions are (indeed) justifyable. Summing up, people were just sick of seeing Eddy being treated like a psychotic monster and Edd as the Jesus Christ figure.

Politely, just clarifying this to you. Good afternoon.

First of all, thanks for politely telling me all this! I wasn't really aware of all this because I only joined the fandom 5 months ago. And I totally get this, that's why I made the post. I saw some posts of people talking about those people who think Double D is an innocent little angel and I started to wonder if people think that about me, if I ever sounded like that, and I started to worry that someday I would sound like that in one of my future texts and videos talking about him. I hadn't thought about it when I made the post, but I hope it didn't come off as rude or an "attack" (???), I was just afraid that people would mistake me for one of those annoying people and just wanted to clarify that I'm not, because I really like this fandom and I don't want people to think that I'm annoying or that I make superficial analyses of the characters (because I personally think that oversimplifying Double D as good and Eddy as bad is something people do when they watch the show very superficially). I tend to be that type of person who feels the need to always clarify and justify myself for fear of others hating me, and also, I'm a little traumatized by Twitter where people tend to be very aggressive and mean to you for everything and assume things about you and not explain things to you etc etc... so I was a little anxious after making my post, afraid something like this might happen, but from everything I'm seeing, people on Tumblr seem so nice and kind in general. So I want to thank you again for being so kind and actually explaining the whole thing to me :)

Eddy is a character who's very easy to be wronged and misunderstood because he has great depth, several layers, insecurities and traumas that he covers with his false confidence and "jerky" attitude that he tries to copy from his brother. Obviously not justifying people treating him like a monster, just explaining that unfortunately we live in a world full of superficial people who aren't concerned with paying attention to details and stopping to really interpret and analyze things carefully and attentively, and understand that people are complex, characters are complex, and Eddy is a highly complex character. To these people, it ends up being more comfortable and convenient to just be content and cling to the character who, if seen superficially, is the "perfect little angel" who "suffers at the hands" of the "evil Eddy". I love analyzing and reflecting on things deeply, and it really irritates and frustrates me that people don't make the effort to do the same, and that happens in real life too. People quickly judge and have difficulty understanding that people are not simple and have different reasons for acting the way they do. I know it's hard to deal with people who act like jerks, I have a hard time myself, but I just wish there was a little more empathy in the world. That's one of the things Big Picture Show teaches us, right? Don't judge people because sometimes the jerk person is actually a very broken, insecure and frustrated person who just wants and needs to feel loved and accepted and doesn't really understand that. I think it's so important to learn this because it's true, sometimes people act mean not because they're actually mean, but because of so many other reasons that they themselves don't comprehend or don't want to show, and the "mean" disguise is just the way they found to defend themselves and survive.

I think (at least I hope?) it's noticeable in some of my posts that I also love Eddy (as a Double D kinnie I think it makes sense to be in love with him xD just an EddEddy joke to lighten up, but honestly I think people like Eddy are my type), I love analyzing and reading other people's analyses of his character and story, but my sympathy for him just grew in the last 5 months in fact, when I became hyperfixated on EEnE much more intensely than before and finally started to get to know about the whole story and characters. I even made a post once talking about thinking that he was my least favorite Ed, because before he actually was, but after rewatching the entire show now as an adult (the last time I watched I was a kid who didn't even understand a lot of the things that happened) and starting to analyze and read about it, now I'm very obsessed with him, I think his character is so interesting and deep, that he has the most interesting backstory and the best character development, and I even make more edits with him than with Double D (I think I tend to be obsessed with controversial and complex characters who are full of content to analyze from a psychological point of view like Eddy. A good example is Jinx from Arcane, I just love her character so much). I also recently realized that he's a lot like my brother, no wonder our mother often misunderstands him. But I get it, they (Eddy and my brother) are just people who are very hard to deal with because they carry several issues that you need to have good maturity and emotional structure to deal with, but it's so good when you can get to know a little more about them and help them get through these things when they open up and allow themselves to be discovered and helped.

Today I came across a post (which was honestly the trigger that made me make my post) from @eddfumo saying that they think Double D wants to be like Eddy in some way, and you know what? This is so true! I'll use my own experience to relate to him and explain him again, but anyway, I'm so envious of people/characters like Eddy. Even though they tend to irritate me and I even disapprove of many of their actions and decisions, they also have this determination, confidence (even if it's false, they're still able to act like confident people), attitude, audacity, strong personality, rebelliousness, extroversion and "not giving a shit" energy that I so wish I had too. I really admire these traits and I think Double D deep down does too (I like to headcanon him doing the same as I do and secretly fantasizing imaginary and hypothetical situations and discussions in which he acts more like Eddy, and he feels so good about himself afterwards, but feels frustrated that he doesn't have the nerve to do this outside of his imagination in real-life situations). Even though they have questionable morals, this type of person is so inspiring and you can still learn so much from them. It's no wonder Double D grows so much and becomes a more confident and less people-pleasing person because of Eddy's influence.

So yeah, it sucks when people simplify characters and see them as black and white, good and bad. The EEnE fandom is unfortunately not very big, but luckily here on Tumblr, at least currently, it's full of people who do in-depth analyses and that makes me very happy!

EDIT (I'm editing to add one more thing because I forgot to mention another topic that complements what you said about the other kids acting badly too and not receiving any punishment): One of the many things I plan to do after rewatching the show a few more times to properly absorb everything (I need to rewatch things at least twice to really take it all. Plus, I rewatched it the first time with the Brazilian dub because nostalgia and now I want to rewatch it with the original lines) is count how many times the Eds do real scams. Because honestly, there are a lot of episodes where we can't really call what they're doing "scams" because they're not actually scamming anyone, they're just selling something honestly and without harming anyone, but things always go wrong even when they're not doing anything wrong (often because of the Kankers, for example) and this is frustrating as hell to Eddy.

Since I haven't rewatched everything twice yet (because I'm still in the process of subtitling the entire remastered version of the show to rewatch it properly because English isn't my first language), I don't remember all the episodes accurately and clearly. But the last one I subtitled was "In Like Ed" (season 2, episode 9), so it's the example I have freshest in mind, even if it's not the best one. I know, the Eds were inconvenient in this episode crashing Jimmy's party (even though I think it's so lame that they rarely get invited to anything because the kids exclude them), opening his presents and everything, but one thing that stuck in my mind was the fact that when Eddy opened the present in front of them and revealed the sewing machine, Jimmy just said: "I'm so misunderstood. I wanted a pony!". He didn't say anything about them ruining the surprise or anything, he just started crying and ran away because he didn't get a goddamn pony. He just complained about someone's present, despised the present right in front of the person, and all Kevin said was "There goes the birthday boy. You dorks wrecked another party!". Like?? Jimmy cried because he didn't get the present he wanted, and not because of the Eds. I could even consider the possibility of them giving him "preferential treatment" and ignoring him because he's younger, but there are times when Kevin doesn't give a shit about Jimmy being younger, like in "Know it All Ed" (season 2, episode 1) when he uses the squirt gun on him, mock him and call him "twerp". Anyway, regardless of being younger, he was so rude and no one gave a shit, and not only that but they even acted as if it was the Eds' fault that Jimmy cried and ran away.

So yeah! The kids (especially Kevin) always blame the Eds (especially Eddy) for everything that goes wrong, even when it's not really their fault. And as you said, they also act badly, but nothing happens to them.

[mybworlds]

CHAPTER 7

status: ongoing

pairing: joel miller x f!reader

summary: your life is full of 'must'. You live with your overprotective mother who controls every aspect of your life. You have a dream, to write romance novels, but love - real love - you haven't found yet. Your mother has even decided what you must do in your free time: play music. One day, however, when you go to your music teacher's house, you will have an unexpected encounter and from that day on things change…

Masterlist

rating: 18+ explicit (minors, DNI)

Before to start... thank you for your support, for your likes and reblog, thank you, thank you, thank you ❤️

If you like it pls leave a like/comment/reblog it, if you don't like it don't be rude and keep going. Please remember English is not my first language, so please be merciful!

Thanks @vase-of-lilies for the banner

Grocery shopping with Joel is an experience that turned out to be more fun perhaps than it should have been as Joel would just run from one aisle to another, leaning on the shopping cart whenever you told him to wait because you were watching what to get. If it were up to him, he would take prepared and powdered stuff only, and when that happened, you would turn your nose up at it and make him put it down or put it down yourself.

In short, you learned one thing: Joel can't do grocery shopping.

You smile as you're walking back to his house-he has a trunk full of bags and edibles, he'll be fine for weeks probably!

You help him arrange the groceries in the fridge, in the pantry, he takes things out of the bags and you put them away. From time to time you cast glances at each other, which to you means gratitude, to him perhaps more, you try not to ask.

"I've to go now. I have to talk to my mother," you tell him wearing your jacket again.

"I'll accompany you." he offers.

You shake your head "No, Joel, I'd like to take a walk."

"It's far." he reminds you.

"I know, but…I'd still like to go alone. Thank you anyway." he nods lowering his gaze for a brief moment "Joel" you go on approaching him "thank you for everything, really."

"Anytime." he says.

You throw your arms around his neck and hug him, he returns the hug strongly. Your heart is pounding in your chest, you cannot explain what is happening. You hide your face in his neck and inhale deeply his strong scent with your eyes closed, you wonder why for you there is never a situation as simple and precise as the one you experienced before when you were helping him grocery shop, everything had been so natural at that moment, your glances, your smiles, him showing you the things to buy and you shaking your head making him roll his eyes. You almost looked like--

"Bye." you say loosening your grip and turning your back immediately, or you would never leave.

Those brown eyes, his scent, his smile. They almost bewitched you.

It shouldn't be that way. Because you're dating another guy, not Joel, but then why his presence becomes more and more cumbersome, more and more present, more and more powerful, more and more all-encompassing with each passing second?

You wish it wasn't so.

The phone vibrates, there is a new message from Jack.

You read the message, "Would you like to go out to dinner tonight?"

You look around and shake your head "Not tonight. I have to resolve an urgent matter at home."

Writing this, you block the phone and continue.

You don't feel like going out tonight. You need to talk to your mother, it's true.

But not only. You want to be alone.

When you knock on the front door, your mother immediately opens it: she is made-up, wearing a hideous pajamas that she wears when she doesn't feel well or is in a bad mood. As soon as she sees you, her face lights up and she throws her arms around your neck.

"Hi, Mom." you say when you are still clinging to her.

"Come." she says letting you in.

You go inside almost in small steps, as if you feel like an intruder entering your own home.

"May I?" you ask, looking away from your mother.

"It's your house, you don't even have to ask." she replies closing the door "I'm the one who has to apologize to you, not for letting you find Leo in the house, but for not talking to you." she sighs "I should have told you everything, or at least mentioned. We'll talk later if it's okay with you." you nod "Come, I ordered sushi."

You eat in silence. You never liked sushi much, but once in a while you pretend to like it, and you do it for your mother, for your messy, chaotic mother who strives to keep everything under control all the time, but who, it seems, cannot do so without being overwhelmed herself by all the events that life puts in front of her.

Both of you talk. For the first time without filters, without 'you must,' for the first time you talk to her and she listens to you; you tell her about Joel - well, you don't tell her everything everything everything - you explain he's become your music teacher and you go to him, no longer to Tommy's; she tells you about Leo and the way they met: she met him during a break from one of her endless hospital shifts, during that break they had talked so much and shared so much it had seemed to them they had known each other all their lives.

Initially they saw each other like this in the hospital when it happened only, she tells you, then they began to date each other during their shifts to have coffee and exchange some confidences, that was where it all started. When Leo had revealed to her he was married, your mother was already in love with him, she knows she is wrong to see a married man, she tells you, however, she loves him and cannot do without him, she feels guilty toward the man's wife and his two children, but at the moment she cannot avoid these meetings.

You make an effort not to judge her, even though you think she is making a mistake in dating this man, but rather advise her to distance herself from him a bit to really understand how she feels about him.

It's the same advice you gave yourself regarding Joel, don't see him to fully understand how you feel about him, whether it's just attraction or whether there's more to it.

Your mother smiles sweetly at you, "I'm sorry I relied so little on you, I'm sorry I didn't give you the right amount of wiggle room in your life. I've been a terrible parent. Oppressive. Sorry. In fact, if you want -- why don't you have your friends over tonight? I promise to go to bed early, but especially not to eavesdrop on any of your conversations," your mother says.

Your eyes light up and you throw your arms around her neck "Thank you, Mom, thank you, thank you." you give her a kiss on the cheek "Then I'll throw a sleepover party complete with pizza!" you exclaim on a high.

Your friends are delighted to come over to your house, you slip into your big pajamas with obscene patterns and fluorescent colors, then you open the pizza boxes and put play on the first movie on Netflix that comes your way, luckily it is a comedy-romance movie, therefore, it meets the tastes of all of you. When the movie is over, you hear your mother close her bedroom door to go to sleep.

That's when your moment of confidences begins: Kristen confides in you about a meeting with a guy at a graphic design master's program, he's very cute, but he's already engaged and she doesn't know whether to try anyway or let it go. You advise her to let it go, Gina and Helen instead urge her to go ahead and see what happens, bad luck he doesn't pick up on the signals and she can move on to the next guy. Gina tells about her erotic encounter two nights before with a guy in a bar, very nice, great speaker and especially one who is very good with oral sex.

"And what about you about John and Joel?" asks Helen.

"You too with 'John,' his name is Jack. J - A - C - K. Jack!" you exclaim.

"Yes, yes, he -- because who else calls him John?" asks Helen again.

"Joel. Last night…"

"You went to him?!" exclaims Gina raising her voice.

You shush her, "Yes, I went to him last night. Now I explain."

You tell them about what happened with your mother, how it had upset you and how you had found refuge at Joel's house, how he had welcomed you and made you feel welcomed, the kiss you gave each other, the shopping you did together the next day.

"I tell you again, when are you going to dip his fingers in your honey jar?" Helen asks making you blush conspicuously.

"What you're experiencing with him, you'll admit is weird," says Gina, you nod "I mean, you got close right away, so why not try it? I'm not saying have sex with him right away, but why not try to be closer to him, more intimate, and then maybe even that?"

"Maybe you don't like it though because Jack is there, but what if Jack wasn't there? Would you be more sure about being with Joel?" asks Kristen.

"Girls, you are forgetting one important thing: I am a virgin, in every sense of the word. I don't know anything about men, how to get intimate with a man, how to do certain things, things that maybe to you, Gina, are obvious. And then he had an affair that ended, it seems, badly that shook him up a lot and he has a daughter -- somewhere. I'm only 29 years old. I don't know if I can handle all this load," you confide to them.

"It's normal to be afraid," Helen reassures you, laying a hand on yours, "But if you don't try you'll never know."

"Now are you talking about Joel or Jack?"

"Both." she answers you "It seems to me you are using Jack as an alibi with Joel and Joel as an alibi with Jack. You are afraid. And again it's normal." she continues "But try to go a little bit further, I don't say go straight to the point, but maybe go out, dress a little bit more provocatively--"

"Yes, I can lend you a couple of my clothes!" exclaims Gina enthusiastically.

"Maybe try to get a little closer and then see what happens," Helen continues.

"We're talking about Jack now."

"Yes." says Helen again.

"Even with Joel, maybe try going somewhere, I don't know--maybe to a restaurant, a theater," says Gina.

"Joel is not the theater type, in fact he likes hiking, the smell of wood," you tell them.

"Then with Joel you are facilitated." resumes Gina "But, man, you have to figure out first who you feel most comfortable with, but more importantly who you are really interested in. Don't keep your foot in two stirrups. It happened to me once and it was a total disaster. You would end up losing 'em both."

That night you have a lot of nightmares. However, even though you wake up in a state of complete agitation, you decide you need to define this interest of yours.

You call Jack and ask him for a date, perhaps at the diner. Nothing romantic or special, but a way to meet him again and try to understand.

He tells you he is at the library this morning studying for an exam, but invites you to join him anyway. He would enjoy your company, he tells you.

You inform Gina about this meeting, and so she almost drags you to her house, or rather actually drags all of you friends to her house.

She makes you try on first a red one-shoulder sheath dress with a pair of shoes with a vertiginous heel, you risk falling and breaking an ankle; so, you shake your head and they roll their eyes.

A second dress is ankle-length ochre with a plunging neckline and a pair of stilettos underneath; you don't like that either.

The third is a midnight blue dress that is mid-thigh length, there is no neckline, and underneath you put on a pair of knee-length boots. It's perfect, you like it, and then you think you can also wear it to the library, maybe put a nice coat over it, and to the diner.

"You look like a nun." comments Gina disapprovingly.

"I like it." comment Kristen and Helen in chorus.

You smile at them, thank them, and then head for the library.

In the city's huge library you went there several times and all of them in secret from your mother, there you borrowed books of various kinds, mostly literature texts as you were strongly interested in literature especially English and Spanish, and as you read your imagination was fed and grew more and more until you wanted to write books.

This desire, however, is still confined to a corner of your head.

You go in, leave your bag in the locker and take the key with you, then use the key card to gain access inside and thus gain access to the reading section. Jack tells you he is in section 55. Your footsteps echo through the huge hallway, as you gradually pass the various sections and observe the hundreds of people hunched over books or reaching out to the various shelves in search of volumes.

You breathe in deeply the smell of the many books stored inside the library and smile, you have always loved that very special smell, the smell of time and history.

You have arrived at section 55 and you immediately see Jack hunched over a thick volume, you see him jotting something down in a notebook and then paying attention to the tome again. He looks so focused that he's almost funny. You approach him, gently placing a hand on his forearm, and he, so engrossed in what he is doing, jerks back.

"H - hello." he greets you with a bewildered look.

"Hi, I'm sorry I scared you," you say with a small smile.

"No, it's okay. Forgive my reaction to your wonderful sight." he says making you smile "Come, have a seat." he adds moving his jacket to another chair.

You sit down next to him and observe him "You look tired." you comment.

He smiles with a more relaxed air "Yes, the exam is in less than three weeks. It's right just before Christmas. I'm very tense. I could really use a distraction." he says looking at you.

"Would I be the distraction?" you ask him in a whisper.

He nods "You are a wonderful distraction." he says stroking your face. His hands are soft and gentle against your skin.

He looks at you, "Did you dress like that for me?"

You blush "I wanted to change it up a bit." you say "The dress is not mine, a friend lent it to me."

"You dress simpler, in fact." he agrees "I don't know if I like a different version of you. You are beautiful as you are, even in your simplicity."

"Thank you." you say lowering your gaze for a moment "Now study though, I don't want to bother you."

He smiles at you and then returns to his concentration, you occasionally shake his hand or he shakes your hand, you exchange smiles; the afternoon passes in total simplicity and for you it is splendid like that, perhaps what you need is someone who makes you feel good about the little things.

Jack then takes a little break by going to a cafeteria not far from there, of course he invites you to eat with him and it's another nice moment: with him you get to talk about literature, about authors from contemporary literature, from the Romantic era, with him you even get to draw parallels with contemporary music and authors, in short you get to talk about topics that not everyone understands or is interested in.

"I may perhaps seem premature or perhaps cheeky," he says when he has finished studying for this afternoon and you are both lying on the lawn of the park not far from the library, "but I like you very much." your heart beats hard in your chest "I am perfectly fine with you and I hope it will be the same for you," he adds, intertwining his fingers with yours and bringing your hand close to his lips, he kisses it gently.

You blush visibly, but decide to say something so as not to leave that brief statement of his like that "I'm fine with you too." he smiles at you "Shall we have dinner together tomorrow?" you propose.

He nods, smiling at you.

When he drives you home, you are about to get out of the car, but he stops you by saying your name, you turn around, and he kisses you. He literally rushes against your face, it almost hurt that kiss, he's visibly sweaty and the kiss is salty, but other than that taste, you can't feel anything you hoped for. No heartbeat due to that falling in love that you've been extolling to your friends or telling Joel about and that held you back when you kissed him, no dizziness. Your heart beats yes, but painfully because you realize that maybe you were wrong. Big time.

"Sorry about the kiss." he tells you "I haven't kissed in a long time." he justifies himself.

You smile embarrassed "It's okay. Good night." you tell him as you get off and enter the building.

When you are in your room by now, you slip out of the dress Gina lent you and stow your boots in the shoe rack, slip into your pajamas and think back to the kiss you exchanged with Joel, how much you felt wanted and how much more importantly you wanted that kiss, then you think about the kiss Jack gave you and how you felt nothing. Maybe getting Jack to kiss you was a mistake, not the kiss given to Joel.

You get a message from Gina "So how did it go with Jack?"

"Good. I'll tell u later." you answer very coldly and then lock the phone and put it on charge, you don't feel like talking.

You stare at the ceiling for a long time, then finally fall asleep.

The next morning, you go to work. It's very early and very cold. Your boots produce a resounding shuffling along the still semi-deserted streets of the town. When you get a few yards away, you see Joel standing outside, waiting for the bar to open. That morning it's your turn to open, but he's not there for you because you never told him that you, Helen, Maxime and Sam take turns opening the bar.

When he sees you he lifts his gaze from the floor and his face almost lights up "Hello." he greets you.

That heartbeat, that familiar heartbeat you feel when you see him, begins again.

"Hi." you greet him "Have you been here long?"

"No, 'bout ten minutes. I thought it opened at six." he replies.

Actually, judging by the flushed face it would seem he has been there for at least half an hour, but you decide to ignore that white lie.

"I couldn't get up this morning." you confess to him "I'm sorry you froze." you add, as you slip the key into the deadbolt and then remove it; then, you open the shutter with a clatter "Come." you say with a wave of your hand "I'll turn on the boiler." you warn him, slipping off your jacket and walking to the small dressing room of you barmaids. So you turn on the boiler, which starts immediately with a small puff.

"Done." you say when you return to Joel who greets you with a big smile, "Sorry, but for your coffee you have to wait a while. The engines still need to warm up." you inform him jokingly and smile at him as well.

"No problem. I was anticipating on purpose." you look at him questioningly "By 7:30 I have to be at work." you nod, in the process making those almost automatic gestures "The truth is, I was anticipating on purpose to see you." you look at him "I wanted to know how you were and how it was going with your mother." he adds looking into your eyes.

You go around the counter and sit next to him on the stool, "I'm fine. I mean, we talked and it had never happened. Never. In twenty-nine years I've never felt so free, so understood." you reply, then look him in the eyes "Even though the first person who listened to me, who pushed me to open my eyes was you." you add taking his hands in an uncalculated gesture, in an affectionate gesture "Thank you."

"You're welcome, sweety, I didn't do anything special," he tells you, stroking the back of your hand with his calloused thumbs.

You look at his face for a few seconds then lower your gaze for a moment, "I need to tell you one more thing."

Joel tightens his grip on your hands just a little more and then looks at you with an almost icy gaze as if he has already guessed the subject.

"Jack kissed me," you tell him, biting your lower lip softly, "And he told me he liked me a lot."

Joel abruptly lets go of your hands as if he had caught the current and stands up, "Excuse me, but I'm not going to listen to this!" he blurts out, "I'm glad you're happy and that you're clear-headed 'bout it now." you see him nodding as if he's performing an inner struggle, he's about to say and do something, but then he reconsiders, "Now I have to go, um… I'll see you in a couple of days for class." having said that he quickly turns his back on you and leaves.

"And he ran away," you conclude, recounting what happened to your friends.

You are sitting in a small diner downtown at a small circular table with oak benches, and in front of each of you there's a different drink.

"He's obviously jealous, Daddy," says Gina.

"Daddy?! Where do you get off using that obscene nickname, Gina!" exclaims Helen "Well, he's obviously jealous, otherwise he wouldn't have run away." adds your friend.

Kristen twirls the ice cube in her Old - fashioned absently.

"I'm so confused." you add "Maybe I shouldn't have confided in him, maybe I made a mistake in trying to be his friend, in making him a sort of my confidant because he can't. Maybe I should cut it off," you say again.

"What if Jack is the wrong one? Have you thought about that?" interjects Helen "Why are you convinced that Jack is the one? You don't seem to have much transport for him, just look at the way you talk about him."

"Why how do I talk about him?" you ask.

"You talk about Jack as well as an acquaintance who's had a few cents stolen from him," Kristen finally interjects.

"And how do I talk about Joel instead?"

"When you talk about him you revive yourself, you put passion, involvement," Kristen replies again.

"But why don't you spend a night of unrestrained clarifying sex with him?" asks Gina fidgeting on the bench.

You snort, "I think you're the one who has to do it! Gina, Joel and I are nothing, I can't go over there and say, let's have sex, he'd laugh in my face and then he wouldn't want to see me again."

"Why don't you ask him if he can teach you some tricks to use with Jack?" asks Helen.

"But that's kinky!" exclaims Kristen "Poor Joel why should he teach her some sex moves to be with someone else?!"

"Let's keep it down, please," you remind them "You're talking about me and not a bag. Anyway, I agree with Kristen, I'm not going to go to him and tell me to use moves to seduce Jack, absolutely not. It would be monstrous to ask him that, I can't do that," you add, shaking your head.

You couldn't do that to him, it would be cruel! Maybe you could ask him what it would be like to be with a man, what you would have to do, but while you're thinking about that, you're also thinking you wouldn't be able to look him in the eye and make such a proposal.

You see Joel again the next day; he looks tired, but when he sees you his eyes and face obviously marked by fatigue give way to the joy of seeing you, though he tries not to let that happiness drag him down too much. You by now don't even pay attention to the heartbeat that accompanies you when you walk to his house or when you see him, then he offers you coffee, which by now you take.

You ask him about his work while sitting on one of the stools in his kitchen, he talks to you about what he has done and will have to do, he adds a lot of interludes like 'fuck' and 'shit' in his narrative that make you smile, but deep down you like that aspect of Joel too.

You talk most of the time that should instead be devoted to chords or sheet music, but you honestly don't care especially when you have Joel next to you holding your hand or stroking now your hair now your face causing you to shiver all over. The man then asks about your mother and how your relationship is progressing and you tell him she is getting close to a group of religious fervents, she meets in these reading groups, you are worried about her especially when she jumps like that on something she knows nothing about. He just nods and tells you to stay close to her and if you notice too strange attitudes, you should intervene with all your might even if it means making her hate you.

"I wonder what my life, her life, would have been like if my father had not left. I would like to understand what happened that was so bad that he left." you confide to him "Sometimes I wonder what our lives would have been like if he had been there." you add.

"Don't ask yourself these questions," he says, taking your face in his hands, "you only hurt yourself." you are so close again and your heart is beating so fast again, you are afraid he might hear it being so close to you. He has a strange light in his eyes, a light so different, you've never seen it before.

He clears his throat and then urges you, saying, "Let's go play, at least ten minutes."

He plays, you strum, trying to imitate him, but to no avail. Your mind is totally caught up in other thoughts, you feel strange, you can't explain what is happening to you, you have a feeling you've never felt before at the level of your lower abdomen, like something that wants to come out, you don't even know what it is, you just know that at some point you start fidgeting on the couch next to him and look away from him and his hands touching the guitar with delicate precision.

"Are you all right?" he asks you, probably noticing how you move beside him.

"Yes."

"You're all flushed, what's wrong?" he asks wrinkling his forehead.

"Nothing. Really." you reply, but the tone of your voice betrays you.

"What's the matter, baby?" he asks as he puts down his guitar and looks insistently into your face.

You realize it's time to leave, you're like afraid of what you're feeling.

"I have to go." you say splashing off his couch, you hurriedly grabbed your backpack and coat without wearing them and are about to reach the door, but Joel stops you by caging you against the door, your back is still to him, you don't know how to explain what is happening to you.

"Why are you doing this? Why do you want to run away from me now? What have I done to you?" he asks, laying his hands on your shoulders causing intense shivers down your spine. You feel his hands stroking up and down your arms, maybe he wants to reassure you, but it has the opposite effect.

"I would never hurt you, what's going on?" he asks again quietly, making you turn to face him.

"J - Joel… I - I - um, I don't know. It's--" you mumble with your head down.

"Talk to me." he insists calmly, laying a finger under your chin causing you to lift your head toward him.

"I don't know what's happening to me. The truth is, yes I'm dating Jack, but I can't see Jack the way I want to, I talk to him and yes we have things in common, but I can't feel what I want to." you confess to him.

He stares intensely into your eyes only heightening that almost uncomfortable feeling of yours "I'm sorry." he tells you "But why were you running away from me?"

"I don't know," you answer him, "You confuse me. The truth is what's being created between us is something big and it scares me." you confess to him again without being able to look him in the eye "I'm fine with you, but to a part of me that's not enough." you add again "And it scares me because I feel I can't control it."

When you decide to lift your eyes to his face, you find that same look again, that same light as before, you feel you miss your breath, "You don't have to be afraid, whatever it is." he tells you "Y' know, what I think?" you shake your head "I think you've been so used to being in control of every aspect of your life that now the slightest new thing upsets you. Y' know what I say? You have every right to try and fail, try again and fail again." he then says your name softly "You can't be in control of everything all the time. Let yourself go."

"Oh, Joel..." you say laying your hand on his "I'm afraid I'm getting it all wrong." you confess to him "As long as I'm involved and that's all...but I'm afraid I'm pulling too hard with..."

"With your John?" he asks taking a half step toward you and squeezing even tighter between him and the door.

"I can't risk losing everything. It's become too important in such a short time." you answer him without looking at his face, you are talking to yourself, but he doesn't know that. The correct answer would have been Joel, but a part of you still can't say it although his name is on the tip of your tongue.

"I asked you a question," he insists, "Is this about John?"

"Jack." you correct him.

He rolls his eyes in a spaced-out expression "So?"

"Joel, let me go." you make to turn your back on him again, but he places one hand on your hip and the other on the door handle and stops you.

"Who is upsetting you so much?" he whispers in your ear making your skin crawl "John or is i' me?" he asks you again tightening his grip just a little more.

"I won't have the courage to look at your face after that," you warn him, but at the same time you answer him. You swallow, closing your eyes, the truth perhaps being this: you are afraid of losing his friendship because of your total confusion.

"You can talk to me about it, I'm not like that little boy you like so much." he prods you "I'm not one to run away in the face of difficulties or in the face of even the most unpleasant words or deeds."

"Okay." you nod turning toward him, swallow and then you tell him making an effort to look him in the eye and sound firm in your words and the tone of voice you use "I can't see you as just my teacher, you have become more, you are more than a friend, I don't know however how to see you, how to define you, I just know that being with you confuses me, I'm fine, but at the same time I would like to run away because I'm afraid of doing or saying something stupid, inappropriate, of not knowing when it's time to do something and when not. I am afraid of losing this bond that has been created with you because of my total inexperience. I don't know what to do when you look at me like that, I don't know what to do..."

He pulls his hand away from the door handle and your side and wraps your face in his hands "Y' know very well I'd never do anything you don't want, I'd never force you into doing or saying what you don't feel. I don't expect anything. I don't care whether you are experienced or not. For me you are perfect just the way you are." he tells you looking into eyes you feel pinch "I don't demand that you choose me or want to be with me, but I want you to know I am there for you. As a friend, as a confidant, in whatever way you want. And I'll respect your choice. What matters is your happiness, not my wishes or hopes. There is your life in the way, you are so young and you have so many dreams to give, so many experiences to live. My life is a mess, but now the point is not my life as much as yours. So," he says wiping away two timid tears that had begun to line your face "I want you to choose what is best for you, whether it's John, whether it's me or whoever." he kisses your forehead "If you want to go, at least cover yourself first." he concludes by moving his hands away from your face, takes a step back and then returns to the living room.

If you were experienced, you'd have chased him down and kissed him with the whole ardor you possessed, but instead you find yourself putting on your coat, gloves, scarf and hat and walking away.

[wonijinjin]

trust fall

synopsis: mingyu is afraid of heights, but what happens when you try to convince him to go on the ferris wheel in the amusement park?

word count: 0.9k | genre: fluff, if you squint angst and comfort, humour/crack | pairing: mingyu x gn! reader | warnings: mention of the word ‘death’

you and mingyu have been planning your date night to the amusement park for weeks, and now you two finally had some spare time to spend together, which was rare nowadays as you both had busy schedules all the time. after a delicious dinner cooked by your chef boyfriend you got into his car and drove to the park. it was a bit further away from the city than you expected, but you had a great drive nonetheless, catching up on how things had been going in the past few weeks.

when you arrived the first thing you suggested was going on the ferris wheel as watching the sunset from there seemed like a pretty romantic idea, however unfortunately mingyu did not really appreciate your creativity as he was notoriously afraid of heights. “come on mingyu baby, it isn’t that high, it is literally the shortest ferris wheel i have ever seen for real!” you said, trying to convince your six foot tall baby of a boyfriend to agree. “i will hold your hand the entire time if you want it baby. please, i really want to see it!” you pleaded with puppy eyes, which has always been effective when trying to win him over. “no way. are you crazy? what if it breaks? we could literally die! i am way too handsome for dying here on a ferris wheel, that would be so pathetic.” he whined, clearly more scared than you thought he would be. “okay, fine. i won’t push it further ‘gyu.” you sighed, disappointed. “let’s go, i guess i will have to miss out on a romantic ride with the most beautiful scenery ever.” you commented with a pout.

“i can’t believe you actually agreed!” you jumped with excitement while waiting in line for the ferris wheel ten minutes after him saying no to the idea. “well you are not alone, because neither can i. the things i do for you, you little brat!” he groaned dramatically in disapproval, but you could see the smile hiding in the corner of his mouth. “hey, rude! that little brat loves you very much!” you smacked his arm lightly. “if you loved me you wouldn’t have suggested this in the first place! you know i hate these things!” he pouted. “it will be fun i swear! you will get all the kisses in the world up there, i think it is a pretty good deal, no better distraction needed.” you smirked.

it was your turn to enter the cabins so you grabbed his hand and got into one. everything was going smoothly…well, except for your scaredy-cat boyfriend clinging onto you for dear life and knocking the air out of your lungs, you didn’t mind it though since he already did you a favour by agreeing to go up together. when you arrived at the top of the wheel it stopped so people could admire the view. only one thing was wrong with this action, mingyu who hasn’t been on anything higher than his height in years didn’t know the reason for the wait. “oh my god we aren’t gonna survive, are we? i told you this was a bad idea! how are we gonna get down from here now?” he panicked, borderline crying. “mingyu baby, noone is gonna stay here, it stopped in order to provide time for us to look at the scenery, everything is fine.” you tried to calm him down. “but what if-“ you kissed him, pulling him closer than he already was, caressing his neck and playing with his hair in the process. he was taken aback by your sudden action, but kissed back passionately, loosening the grip he had on your hand since sitting down in the cabin. he could only focus on you, the way your lips felt on his, your touch light as a feather, yet so firm and comforting. after some time you finally broke apart. “was this a good distraction?” you asked in a curious tone. he seemed confused for a moment then took in his surroundings. “woah, i literally forgot where i was for a moment.” he mumbled, still a bit dazed. “look out, the sunset is so gorgeous!” you whispered while giving him a peck on his lips. “not more gorgeous than you, my love.” he smiled. you hugged him tightly and the two of you got to enjoy the view for a little while before the wheel started moving again, this time taking you back to the ground.

“you really are something special, baby. after you kissed me i wasn’t scared, not even for a moment. i felt so safe, because i was with you. thank you for this, it was amazing.” he said after climbing out, picking you up and smothering you in kisses. “i am glad you enjoyed it after all. it was something worth seeing.” you grinned, happy that your boyfriend got over his fear. “i got the chance to see it thanks to you baby. it would have been a shame if we ditched this because of me.” he giggled. “but i am happy to be on solid ground again though!” he added, which made you chuckle. you kissed him one more time. “my hero puppy.”

[maxdurden]

share your buddy dawn hcs pretty please..

OKAY, buddy hcs (or at least some of them, i am trying to be so normal you can’t imagine. this guy lives in my head rent free)

a lot of my hcs about buddy also involve his family, just because the family stratification that happens in southern evangelical families is SO fascinating to me.

SO: buddy is a southern grandma’s boy. if you’ve lived in the south you know this guy. his grandma helped raise him, he calls his grandma ‘mimi’ and, to his grandma, he’s essentially the second coming of christ, he can do NO wrong in her eyes. buddy and pamela dawn have the kind of enmeshed relationship that would simply blow your mind

as an addendum to this: buddy dawn calls his grandma ‘mimi’ and his grandpa ‘pawpaw.’ if you are his friend, the whole family will invite you to participate in this naming tradition. this will make you uncomfortable but there’s no way out of it without seeming rude (this is a struggle i know well as a yank living in the south)

on the topic of pamela dawn, i think she’s like such a Matriarch, at least as much as one can be in that kind of misogynistic social system. i think she clings to what power she can grab and is incredibly vindictive (but never direct) about it. i think she was probably just as enmeshed and close with buddy’s dad (think #boymom) and probably HATED buddy’s mom, regardless of how good of a mom/person she was

we don’t know a lot about buddy’s parents, but my vibe is that they’re dead. if they weren’t, it doesn’t make sense to me that they would let bobby and pamela move away with their son (there are other hcs i’ve heard on this topic that are equally interesting, such as buddy’s mom and dad having a different idea of sol/helio worship and being pushed out of the family). my vibe is that they died on a mission trip. this explains why bobby didn’t just revivify them, but it also adds to the themes of legacy and family name that buddy has to contend with. like imagine if your grandpa is The Sol Televangelist Of All Time and your parents were martyred on a mission to the mountains of chaos?? oh the crushing pressure of familial expectations (and helio didn’t even choose you as his chosen one)

buddy’s legal name is robert. this one has no real evidence (in fact i feel like it’s likely that there’s no more to his name, at least canonically, than just buddy), but it makes sense to me that a man like bobby dawn would be obsessed with passing down his name and legacy. so i think it’s likely that his dad was also named robert (maybe called robbie or rob)

OR

buddy’s name is specifically NOT robert, and that’s exactly why he got the nickname buddy. this hc is a bit more convoluted, but here’s the gist: imagine buddy’s mom didn’t name him robert despite all the familial pressure to do so. of course there’s nothing bobby or pamela can really do, but they can give this kid a nickname that’ll stick for the rest of his life. plus, buddy has always seemed like a kind of condescending nickname to me and i think that would piss off his mom even more (which tbf is what i think pamela’s goal would be). but, if buddy’s legal name isn’t robert, i don’t have any super strong contenders for what his legal name would be

(i could get into a whole thing about hcs i have about his parents good god)

i think buddy grew up listening to his grandparents' old records! this means he was raised on old gospel and old country and that’s still the majority of his music taste (it doesn’t help that he’s not allowed access to most tech, especially tech from solace, so the influences he’s pulling from are relatively limited)

this is already. so. long. so i’m going to stop myself now lmao. but thank you for asking!!!!! i ALWAYS have thoughts about this fucking guy so thank you for the ask!!!!!!

[lindszeppelin]

I know Austin's camp said he would prefer the relationship to fizzle out naturally because of her parents. He didn't want to endure their wrath or whatever else. But at this rate, Kaia isn't going to let him go. She needs him to stay relevant. I don't see this fizzling out on her end. So unfortunately, I think Austin will have to be the 'bad guy' and be the one to end it. Or else this is going to go one for another year.

Kaia is doing too much right now already with the paps. She's been papped every day this week. It's ridiculous. Something is definitely up. Like she's trying to remind everyone she's in NY with Austin.

Her mom has paid for her Dm and People articles about her and Austin "still being in love as ever"...but their body language says otherwise. Her pulling him away from people asking for pics (which he was fine doing) was rude. She came off as super clingy. I know twitter wants to call her protective, but it wasn't that.

I'm hoping we won't see them again for the rest of the summer. That at least would suggest a break up is coming. But who knows at this point. It would be best for Austin to do it before he starts filming. He doesn't need the distraction.

I think Austin has come to this conclusion. Kaia will never let him go. She will never walk away gently and easily. This situation requires a specific way to go about it. Her parents I think are probably indifferent at this point, they seem to not give a shit. It's Kaia and her PR team that are fighting this one. Kaia knows Austin is and will be the only person that will give her the clout she has always wanted. Just by being associated with his name, she can go on a pap walk and everyone breathes "Austin Butler". She got her wish of being with him and having that notoriety. But now that she sees he's serious about leaving, she's resorting to clinging...literally and figuratively. It shows her insecurity and her control over him.

I know Austin probably doesn't wanna rock the boat, and I imagine he just wanted to let it die slowly and hope she would get bored of him. Even if she doesn't like him at all, she's gonna go out of her way to torment this guy by calling the paps on him all the time, and force him to go out on these atrocious outings together as she plasters a smile on her face.

These people are not fighting fair, and they never will. But there's nothing they can say or do that could ever hurt Austin because their power in Hollywood isn't real. They are just people. And people are vulnerable. So, sometimes when dealing with bullies with god complexes like these people, you need to humble them and show them you're not to be trifled with. There's no such thing as Austin being the "bad guy" because it's not selfish to live your life in accordance to your happiness.

It will be interesting to see what unfolds over these next weeks.

[thatoddgent]

Personal Heater (Sodo x Gn!Reader)

A/N: So no one really requested this, but I wanted to get a quick little drabble done while I work on something someone DID request. This is just a quick little comfort thing, I have chronic pain and have been a little down about it lately, and figured someone else may be too!

Genre: Fluff and comfort (touch of angst?)

Warnings: Reader has chronic pain (non specified), depression/negative thinking.

The winter months were coming to a close, and you couldn’t be happier. Sure, the festivities were always a joy to be a part of, but the aching that came along with the cold weather was less than desirable.

The last few weeks had been especially rough, the bitter chill causing your joints to flare up, it was exhausting. You couldn’t seem to catch a break either, your chores had seemingly doubled since you just can’t say no to anyone who says please to you, even if it meant cover them for the night.

You could already feel your hands locking up when you started, but despite knowing better you pushed through, now it’s late at night and you’re almost tearing up at the pain. By the time you finally make it to your bedroom you look completely disheveled, your hair wrecked with flyaways and the bags under your eyes more prominent than ever.

The worst part of it all isn’t the pain, or the aches, or the cramps, it’s that you feel alone.

Everyone had gone on tour, and even though you grew used to your empty bed, you can’t help but yearn for the warm touch that would massage your worries away. Sodo always helped when you got bad, dropping any snark or sass to focus solely on you, but he couldn’t do that now.

Your body practically fell into the mattress, knees finally giving in under you. A long, drawn out breath filled your lungs, and you couldn’t help but let the tears that threatened your eyes finally fall. You hated it, not being able to feel normal, no matter how hard you tried. You couldn’t jump around, you couldn’t lift heavy things, you couldn’t even dance around with your friends without feeling the consequences later that night, you were hopeless.

Tears turned into crying, crying to sobs. You wanted nothing more but for your ghoul to be here, to make that feeling go away just like he always did. Maybe it’s your bad for relying on him, but he was the only somewhat constant thing in your life.

You mustered the last of your strength to peel your clothes off from your body, the feeling of the seams of the fabric and the way your sweat made it cling to you was sickening, and you really just needed any relief you could get.

There was a growing commotion in the halls, but you just couldn’t bring yourself to get back out there and see what was going on, as much as you wanted to. Instead, you crawled deeper into your bed, cowering under the blanket as you tried to calm your crying and save yourself a headache.

Quick steps were heard in the hall, stopping in front of your door for just a moment before it opened quickly.

“I’m home, doll! Kinda rude to keep me wait-”

Sodo’s voiced faded as soon as he walked in the room, he already knew what was wrong once he saw you huddled under the covers, though he scolded himself for not picking up on your discomfort when he arrived.

His bag dropped to the floor and he closed the door behind him and slipped his shoes off from his feet. He was quick to make his way to you, climbing into the bed and pulling you close, careful not to squeeze you too tight

“Hey, it’s okay, I’m here. It’s real bad today ain’t it?”

You nodded your head and turned your body to face his, your eyes red from crying. His face dropped at the sight of you, a guilt set in, knowing that you had to deal with this all alone.

His thumbs moved to wipe away your tears, your face was burning up from the stress along with overworking yourself all day. You leaned into his touch, the chill from the night air lingered on him and offered relief to your cheeks.

“I’m sorry, I guess I’m the one that kept you waiting. Let’s get you taken care of, yeah?”

Before you could even respond, he was already starting your routine. He warmed his hands and began rubbing small circles at your joints, starting from your shoulders and working towards your feet. He frowned when he reached your hands, which had newly forming callouses and marks from lifting working so much, but he knew not to push it until you were better.

The stress almost melted away from you, the heat that radiated off of him soothing the deep aches all throughout your body. Your eyes fluttered shut, and you left out a groan of relief, it didn’t make the pain stop completely, but you didn’t care, this was heavenly compared to how you felt before.

When he was done, he moved back up to meet your gaze, kissing your body on the way. An almost obnoxious smile was glued to his face.

“Better?”

His tone was cocky, he knew how good you felt after this and he loved that he was the only one that could do it for you.

“You know it, blondie.”

You laugh and lean into each other, finally sharing the kiss he’d been waiting all tour to feel again. The heat of his body grew, and his tail flicked around like a small puppy.

When you finally pulled away, he finished getting you ready for bed, brushing out your hair and getting himself undressed. He would put his things away in the morning, because to him, he had something more important to take care of.

And that important thing was already starting to doze off in his warm arms, with a kiss planted on their forehead.

[valerieismss]

Look man I research autism academically and I’m not really hcing autism ever but miles edgeworth. Miles edgeworth has brutal autism. BRUTAL. Here’s why:

Most obvious is his special interest in the steel samurai. Don’t tell me it’s law because it’s NOT! It’s something he’s been wrapped into, taking inspiration from his father and being manipulated into by MVK and just being this very logical critical thinker. But the steel samurai? No, like, that’s organic. That’s an organic ass interest that came from nowhere and he clings to that shit like a lifeline. Miles Edgeworth is not going to law for comfort that shit traumatized his ass. He’s had a fixed, prolonged interest in this from childhood. Extremely knowledgeable and extremely obsessed and immersed and it’s Fixed. And it’s comforting. NOTABLY! AND it isn’t a result of his upbringing which to me makes it further evidence of an autism specific interest.

This alone wouldn’t be proof btw. It’s only because this is in conjunction with other traits.

Second, he’s not exactly cognitively empathetic. He tells a suicidal woman to khs in court. He sentences hundreds to jail to win a verdict. Miles has a heart, but he lacks the ability to cognitively empathize. Notably, he’s not malicious. That’s why I say this. He genuinely believes he’s doing the right thing by winning a guilty verdict, forgoing empathy for his strong sense of justice. This sort of dissonance is common in autism. Once he has this realization that the way he operates in court is Wrong, he dedicates himself to his new moral code just as strongly. Miles edgeworth is without empathy, and this isn’t necessarily a bad thing, but due to MVK and everything this did lend itself to his black and white morality when we first meet him.

Also, edgeworth has always thought in absolutes. He’s very literal. This man does not naturally see moral greys EVER. He literally tortured himself for YEARSSS over his dad’s death, not ONCE giving himself ANY MERCY until Phoenix proves he didn’t kill his dad. I’ve already explained this attitude in court, but it extends to how he treats himself. Absolute black and white thinking is also common in autism, which is why I mention it.

Moreover, it’s not hard to see that edgeworth isn’t socially assimilated. He lacks the ability to recognize social cues, we know this because he’s a self described real stuck up jerk. People don’t like him. He’s openly very rude. This is because he just doesn’t lie, at least not unless he thinks it’s necessary. But think about it. Would a socially assimilated person say they had unnecessary feelings? No. No they would not. Also, he misses a lot socially as well. I remember him being completely oblivious to how women view him, like Rhonda from AAI. He’s not socially graceful, he’s never been. I wish I had more specific examples but I can’t think of anything. It’s just not hard to tell that he’s a dick by accident in his day to day life.

There are small things, like his self soothing gestures and his aversion to eye contact unless he’s angry. These things could be anything, though. I don’t think they’re good evidence for autism. It’s also extremely clear that he suffers from PTSD. I could make an entire post on that alone. However, everything else seems like solid enough evidence for autism to me.

Edgeworth also tends to be a dick on purpose. Don’t get me wrong. Like how Sheldon can be a dick on purpose. But there’s a good amount of times where he isn’t. Like, edgeworth is a terrible person when we meet him, and it’s not just because he’s autistic. He’s fucked up and his autism is far from the only reason he tells adrien andrews to kill herself, but I would say his lack of cognitive empathy contributes to that. He really doesn’t understand how people feel or why they feel those ways, and he never has. His altruism comes from his sense of justice (also seen in autistic people but far from exclusive to them). All of these traits at once just make me think he’s autistic.

Let me know what you think!

[deliciouskeys]

6 and 7 for Homewell

25 for Butchlander

26 for Maevlander

:)

Meme Link. These were challenging lol! “You really had me going there” - HL to SB

6 homewell, undercover in a bar

As part of media/social training for a NYC based celebrity, Vought wants to make sure HL knows how to politely demur when men come on to him. He goes to a gay bar in plainclothes (plainclothes being a crop top and itty bitty shorts). Madelyn comes along to observe. 18 year old HL gets an overwhelming number of solicitations, eventually ending up dragged to the dance floor unwillingly and has to escape and cling to his “best friend” Madelyn to get out of there.

7 homewell, pretending to be married

This one is also training but done in private as they assess whether HL is better off being married to Maeve (PR would prefer he stay vaguely single but the psychology department thinks some stability would do him good). Madelyn tells him to just roleplay it, but HL starts assuming this is a trial run for the real thing, that she’s just been too shy to tell him she wants him to propose. Culminates in him getting down on one knee and saying something like “Madelyn, you should have said something, I thought it was off the table, I had no idea you actually wanted me!” and she has to work really hard to maneuver out of that nightmare interpersonal tangle and keep his ego intact.

25 butchlander, circus au

I have no idea what this trope even is haha, but!

Billy gets dragged to attend a traveling circus show by a friend who’s really into this Vought Circus. It rarely visits the UK (based in the US and features these weird supe freaks that only ever get born in the US for some reason). But Billy is kind of taken with one of the performers, although he won’t own up to it and when his friend gushes about the show, Billy is dismissive that it’s grotesque to watch these people with congenital malfunctions prance around in skintight glittery leotards. Billy’s friend has a backstage pass, so they get to see the performers after the show and Billy’s kind of shocked that they’re confined in cages for people to gawk and stare at. He talks to the supe that caught his attention and finds HL is not the shiny smiley fake looking ken doll he is on stage. He’s brusque and rude and clearly a diva but is also clearly living a life of a show horse, and… feelings are caught, slowburn yada yada, Billy tries to get him out of that life.

26 maevlander, language barrier

When they just start dating, Maeve gets the fun task of teaching HL all the millennial slang that Vought never bothered to (he still doesn’t really go online on his own, even after being let out of lab, and certainly hasn’t hung out on urbandictionary). So when she says “I’m shook” he just stares at her blankly. And his sexual vocabulary is a complete black hole, so “eat me out” also garners a wide eyed scared expression from him before she realizes he might try to guess what it means and quickly specifies what it means before something horrific takes place.

[dialovers-translations]

Diabolik Lovers LOST EDEN ー Kino Dark [02]

Yui: ( …I wonder how long I’ll remain locked up in here…? )

Hey, Kino-kuーー

*Rustle rustle*

Kino: Could you please shut up!? I’m watching a video right now, so leave me alone.

Yui: S-Sorry…

Kino: God, having someone disrupt me is my biggest pet peeve. Please remember that you are nothing but my pet, okay?

Yui: No way…

( …But I might upset him again if I talk back…I’ll just keep quiet. )

…

Kino: …Excuse me? What? Cat got your tongue?

Yui: Eh…?

Kino: Listen. Why not show some more interest in me?

Yui: Interest, you sayーー?

Kino: Haah…You really are a fool, aren’t you? I told you I’m watching a video, remember?

Yui: Y-Yeah…

Kino: Then most people would pick up on that and ask what kind of video, no?

Yui: Eh? But you told me to leave you aloneーー

Kino: You have to get a little creative there. It’s your duty to keep me in a good mood after all.

Yui: No way! That’s outrageous…

Kino: It’s not. You will. If you won’t, I better teach you a lesson.

Yui: F-Fine. I’ll try…

Kino: Very well. So? I’m sure you’re curious about the video I’m watching, right?

Yui: Y-Yeah…

( He’ll get upset if I say no after all… )

Kino: Check this out! It’s about someone bungee jumping. …These people jump down from high places with a long rope attached to their feet.

Nothing better than watching them scream in terror as they take the plunge!

Yui: I-I see…

Kino: But you know, watching a video just isn’t the same as the real thing.

…Right. Why don’t you come with me for a sec?

Yui: Eh?

ー Kino picks her up

*Rustle*

Yui: Kyah!? K-Kino-kun…?

Kino: Fufu. Let’s go somewhere fun?

Yui: Somewhere fun?

Kino: …That’s something to look forward to when we get there.

Yui: ( He suddenly made me carry a rope…!? )

Kino-kun, what’s this rope for…?

Kino: ーー That rope is very important, so make sure to hold onto it tight, okay?

ー The scene shifts to the night sky

Yui: ( W-We’re flying…! I can’t believe he took me up here…! )

K-Kino-kun…!

*Rustle*

Kino: Oh? Why are you clinging onto me tightly like that? Are you scared, perhaps?

Yui: I-I am! Just by thinking what will happen if I were to fall down…I can’t…!

Kino: But that’s part of the fun, isn’t it? So, ready for the fall?

Yui: N-No way…!

Kino: Don’t worry, it’ll be fine! I tied a rope around your leg, remember? I’ll hold onto it to keep you from hitting the ground.

I want to hear someone scream in terror in real life after watching those bungee jumping videos.

So will you please do it for me? Fall from my arms, and entertain me.

Selection

→ I-I can’t… (M)

Yui: I-I can’t…Please…Have mercy…

Kino: You shouldn’t say that you can’t say something when you haven’t even tried it.

That’s being said, let’s put it to the test!

→ No! (S)

Yui: No! Not in a thousand years!

( He can say that he’ll hold the rope all the wants, I’m obviously not thrilled about this! )

Kino: How rude. You think I’d let you fall to your death? Don’t you trust me?

Yui: W-Wellーー...

( What now? If I tell him the truth, that will definitely upset him… )

Kino: Well, I might accidentally let you die.

Yui: !?

Kino: But that could make for an interesting turn of events too, no? That being said, have a safe trip downー!

ー Kino drops her

*Thud*

Yui: Kyah!?

( I-I’m falling…! )

Kino: …Just kidding? ーー And, catch!

*Rustle*

Yui: K-K-Kino…kun…?

Kino: You really think I would drop you? It’d be a pain if I were to make a mistake and you actually fall down…

*Rustle*

Yui: K-Kino-kunーー!

U…Uu…I was so scared…I-I thought I’d die…Uu…

Kino: What’s this? Are you crying? Haha. Was it that scary?

Yui: Of course it was!

*Thud*

Kino: …Good grief, look at you cling onto me as if your life depends on me. …If only you were always this meek.

There, there, everything will be okay. Rest assured? I’m holding you in my arms.

Yui: …Okay.

( But my heart is still going crazy…What to do? )

Kino: Dry those tears. Who’s a good girl, huh?

Yui: ( Easy for him to say…I don’t think I’ll be able to calm down for a while. )

[dearweirdme]

https://www.tumblr.com/dearweirdme/737790710290546688/hi-rain-merry-christmas-in-arears-and-happy-new

First of all, amazing response. You were way more polite than I would have been, and I think yours is the best answer that could be given because as rude as this anon is, responding with rudeness would accomplish nothing. But I find this message fascinating. I know Jkkers had a rough year. They are clinging for dear life to this fantasy they've created for themselves to live in. And it is pure fantasy. They are not fans of the real Jimin and Jungkook. They do not ship the real Jimin and Jungkook. They don't even hate the real Tae. They have twisted those three into fictional characters because that is what is necessary to maintain this illusion they are desperate not to shatter, and that should tell you everything you need to know. Anon admits to us that what Tae has shown over this last year is enough to make them believe he is in a romantic relationship with Jungkook, because they think they've found a way to twist it into something that reflects negatively on Tae. In their alternate version of reality this starts and ends with Taenn/e. But Tae's affection for Jungkook has been loud and clear a long time before that. They are just now allowing themselves to see it since they've found a way for it to fall in line with Tae being the villain of their story. They're getting so close to a revelation on this. So much of this essay comes from a place of hatred for Tae. I genuinely hope they start working through this in a healthy way. They said they have read through your blog, but that's an obvious lie when they start talking about how we hate Jimin and think he's a homewrecker. Personally, Jimin does not factor into my beliefs about Taekook. At all. I don't need to believe anything negative about him (or anyone else) to make Taekook make sense for me. I see Taekook, I listen to Taekook, and I do the math. Their relationship and interactions are enough. It's very simple actually. Jimin is obviously one of their best friends and cares about them a lot, and they care about him.

Hi anon!

It is a bit fascinating to me too. That anon came back last night and kinda doubled down on their takes. I've decided against posting that ask, since no-one really wants to read all that again, and anon was quite condescending to me, which I don't like. But there's a few things in their ask that stick out which I would like to talk about, so I'll elaborate a bit in my reply to your ask.

We all wonder why anons like that come here, and why they try to change our minds. That anon brought it as "i needed some of you to objectively think about how you view things now and how your views might change if it turns out that y’all were wrong", but I think we make them feel uncomfortable in their own beliefs. We are quite strong in our wordings and convictions about Jkk not being real around here. And seeing that conviction makes them... have a nagging sense of doubt that they wont admit to. BUt it's there in the back of their minds. This anon tries to come off as strong, but just the mere fact that they come here to convince us is the doubt speaking. They call me "the sanest Taekooker they have seen" but what they actually see (or what they think they see) is an opening. They don't actually think I am sane 😂. Anon is very stuck in their Jkk believes, and they need to think like this: I don’t hate Tae. I don’t understand him and i think he is weird and likes to troll or stir chaos (RM himself called Tae the king of trolling) but i don’t hate him. Because they are the ones who don't know how to explain Jkk while also being able to see the good in Tae. They are the ones who have to reconcile Tae using Jk for clout, with Jk also choosing to spend a lot of time with him, with Jk letting Tae hear Seven first. They even throw all members under the bus when thinking like this. They think Jk and Jm allow Tae to do this, to use the people he's close to like this. They think the other members are alright with this. They think Jennie is alright with Tae hinting at a queer relationship, but not acknowledging their own. THey have to think lowly of so many people including the ones they ship together just to maintain their believes. It's despicable really. If they were to hear Jm and JK's actual thoughts on this they would burn in shame.

It has not been a great year for Jkkrs indeed. There were times when some started doubting, narratives of temporarily splitting up, narratives of Jm pushing Jk to the side when he was working on Face, followed up by "they are still the same" when they did get a glimpse of them together. Ofcourse they are still the same, nothing changed between Jk and Jm except the lack of spending time together as much. But their freindship is the same as it ever was. It's only Jkkrs ideas that did not match up, and they had to be creative to explain why things felt different.

Jkkrs are great at finding far fetched explanations. They do it constantly by filling in the voids with fantasies. They also lack a subtlety in understanding how humans actually work. When anon came back their main point was that: I was talking about taekookers in general and i have seen you get some asks from toxic taekookers who believe that Jimin is the villain in Taekook’s love story and to be honest in a way, you all do whether you accept it or not. They then went to explain how Tae at times seems hurt by Jkk interactons, while at other times he doesn't seem to mind. In their head, that means that Tae deliberately chooses times to make us Tkkrs believe in Tkk, because why else would he: If Tae honestly had a problem with those kind of interactions, don’t u think he would have a problem with Jikook being together at all? So according to some tkkrs, tae can get hurt because Jikook are singing to eo, or because Jimin pinches Jk’s thigh or because Jimin goes too close to Jungkook, but he is fine with Jk having Jimin’s sweaty earlobes in his mouth, he is fine with Jikook drinking together late at night and Jk carrying Jimin in his arms which leads to Jimin biting his neck to get him to put him down? He is ok with Jk sitting down for hours watching Jimin centered content while having the most nostalgic look in his eyes even though this is something Jk never bothered to do for Tae?

Anon looks at this situation from a fan perspective and does not allow room for member's own feelings, experiences, knowledge, moods, etc. Anon does not even allow room for Tae's knowledge of his own culture and of his knowledge on Jk and Jm's characters. We just had the Korean-american anon explain how skinship is viewed in SK, and that is exactly what matters here... because Tae (being a very touchy person himself) knows that what Jk and Jm do (and what Jkkrs hugely misinterpret) is skinship and a bit of fanservice. Tae does not worry about them being more. He is not jealous of Jm in the way that he thinks Jm will steel Jk away.. he is jealous of Jm being able to do certain things and for how people receive that. With all their experience, Tae knows which actions of Jk and Jm will get Jkkrs all geared up... and I think that THAT is something he dislikes very much. Not Jm, but how some think Jk is Jm's and not his. Jm and Jk were never held back in their interactions and affections, while Tae and Jk are.. and that hurts. He wasn't even able to show how close they were in a platonic way. He was even made to make it seem as though Jk and him had drifted apart. So yes, Tae has bitterness about the situation, but he knows it's not Jm's fault. And he would never ask Jk and Jm to tone down their genuine friendship just because some misinterpret it. Jk and Jm mean too much to him for that.

Real life is filled with all sorts of different influences, having slept badly can already make someone react differntly to a joke than they normally would. People aren't static beings who always react the same way. People are influenced by lots of things: sleep, stress, hunger, arguments, lots and lots and lots of things.

Well this was long and I think I rambled a lot 🙈

[mark-of-chrysus]

#23

"Jay, love of my life, apple of my eye, treasure of my heart, darling of my soul can you do me a favor real quick?" Daniel purred seductively, his hair a dirty mess and dried blood on his knuckles. Jay nodded helplessly.

----------------

"Where were you on the evening of July 8, between 9 pm and 2 am?" the police officer questioned the nervous blonde with a stern expression.

'In my home' Jay wrote, trying to convey as much sincerity as possible into his gesture. Technically speaking, he wasn't lying. He had been at home, just not the one they were probably referring to. But they didn't ask, so Jay didn't tell. Home was where his dearest beloved was, even if that meant in the middle of the woods digging up some endangered flower specimen to plant over their 'package'.

He remembered the smell of copper lingering on his body, and how gently Daniel had helped him scrub every inch of the vile blood off of his skin. The thought made a blush rise to his cheeks, which thankfully went unseen by the officer. The phantom touch of delicate fingers scrubbing his scalp sent a shiver down the boy's back as the memory etched itself into the very fabric of his mind clinging to him like an intoxicating perfume.

Daniel had been quiet after 'that', but later confessed to being worried he had scared the blonde. It only took one reassurance to make him bounce back to being his usual preppy self as if he needed nothing more than Jay's word and he would believe that the sun rose for the west. It made something twist in his chest like a pleased feline and then settle into a comforting warmth that would surge forward every time he laid eyes on the brunette teen.

He may not have understood why they had done 'that' but he wasn't about to question his beloved. Danny always had a reason to do things, even if sometimes he didn't share it. Nevertheless, Jay felt that wherever the man's sin was, he deserved his fate. His love had never been unkind to people, even those who sought to take advantage of him, so whatever his motive it had to have been important, so he would do his utmost to protect him from any legal repercussions, even if that meant having to face suspicion from his own family.

After all would be said and done, he could finally enjoy melting into his lover's embrace once more. There was no body, no murder weapon, and no DNA or digital evidence, so nothing could be pinned on them anyway. He just had to be patient, then maybe Daniel would reward him~

"Can anybody confirm this?" The policeman's rough voice rudely cut through his reminiscing and brought him back to reality. This interrogation was really starting to get on his nerves he ought to have the man fired for this later.

'My butler' he wrote, briefly pausing and adding something else onto the notebook before he handed it back to the man.

"Your boyfriend, huh? And does this midnight Romeo have a name?"

'Daniel Park'