#the reality of the situation is that they probably like most or all the sharks listed in some way! they just like whale shark a tad bit mor

[fishyfishyfishtimes]

I’ve seen people in the notes of my shark polls occasionally apologise for being so basic with their favourite sharks (or at least their fave out of the list), most commonly with the whale shark and the great white shark. I’m here to tell you, don’t feel bad in the slightest!! There is a reason you love this shark so much, isn’t there? Whale shark is quite literally the biggest fish at an awe-inspiring 12 meters, it’s one of the only filter feeding sharks, it swims with a slow, dignified grace, it is a long-living gentle giant, it has the silliest adorable face and it has a beautiful blue or dark grey back full of stars! And the great white shark! A gorgeous shark, a testament to the success of sharks, an efficient predator of great strength yet it is still capable of gentleness, a mighty animal that observes the world with calmness — not to mention their cute spyhops! Two noble animals, why on earth should you feel bad for liking them so much!?

Of course saying this, I don’t mean to say that every other shark sucks or something lol. I could think of nice things like that to say about any shark! It would just take a while, given that there are over 500 sharks, so only saying nice things about two is easier. They all deserve love! I just want to say that liking “basic” things is fine and fun. Sharks are never “basic” anyway!

[waywardstation]

We know that Akari loves to tease Ingo about being old even though she knows or can tell that he is much younger than he seems to be at first glance. (personally I'd see him in his mid to latter half of his 30s at most, but the stress of the sudden jump in time and what came with it, his more stressful tasks, a little poison from Sneasler really put a strain on his body and it aged a little bit faster (not to mention his encounter with Draugr in your version, not healthy at all. Nope)

What I'm trying to get here is the moment when it is confirmed to Akari that he really is much younger than he looks like first glance. I'm sure the old habits die hard but she sometimes still makes old man jokes with him, but not as frequent anymore. Once reunited it would mean calling Emmet old, too. And that could often lead into a two against one situation in playful bantering. I doubt she would let herself fall into this disadvantage

I'm sure the jokes soon become jabs at his health when it comes to his back and all and are meant to encourage him to exercise and get better again. (Especially in the IWLYB version where Jörmun took a chomp out of Ingo when he tried to save her)

Oh yes, Akari really loves to play up the ‘old’ jokes with Ingo, perhaps after Ingo made a comment about his back hurting (before she knew about the extensive injury and scarring, she probably wouldn’t have started joking about it otherwise) or after Melli said something about his age (probably to make light of Melli’s words though lol; but Ingo takes it much better from Akari than from Melli obviously).

But she knows that he’s really not that old. No one knows his age, but like, you can tell. You can tell he’s not old — as you said anon, just worn out and stressed.

She does make old man jokes. Probably pulls back on the bad back jokes a little once she learns about what happened and how screwed up his back is. Never makes bald jokes when calling him an old man though. I think it would be funny if Akari just assumes Ingo’s super sensitive about his receding hairline, but in reality he really does not care about it lol. And she’ll never know that cause she just thinks it would hurt to bring up, so he can never clear up that misconception.

(Or maybe just until she sees Emmet just berate Ingo about it later in a sibling way — “you could hide from me but I see you couldn’t escape dad’s genes!!”— and sees he’s fine with it haha)

But yeah especially in regards to his back — like I said earlier she’d probably lay off the bad back jokes largely after seeing how bad it is, and it probably would turn into more just trying to find ways to ease that.

And in regards to IWLYB, whoo I have… no idea how you’d properly recover from that ^^; gotta start looking for more articles on how people managed shark bites in their sides!!

[moonshynecybin]

I was wondering if you could talk about Marc and his control freak tendencies cause I find them fascinating but I don’t know much about them. Has he always had them and they just amplified after Sepang or has he always had strong control freak tendencies and is it in a lot of different ways or just some particular situations.

the control freak stuff comes to me as like. MOST professional athletes at marc’s level i think tend to have SOMEEE sort of control freakism tendencies. not all, obviously, but to excel at that level you have to be obsessive, and most sports have some sort of random chance associated with them that is out of an athlete’s control— especially when you add other riders to the mix and ESPECIALLY in a sport as dangerous as motogp. there’s so much you CANT control that you white knuckle onto the things you can. this is also where you get superstition imo (marc’s little crossed fingers mistake banishment ritual), it allows you to create the illusion of more control in order to feel better about the lack of it that is the reality of the situation ya feel me

there’s also what marc is actually AFRAID of. as a #anxietygirl myself i can tell you that a bunch of my anxiety/phobias leap out in situations where there’s a bunch of x-factors that i can’t control or manage. marc is the same methinks. on a bike screaming around a track at 220mph? fine because HES the one driving. in the ocean? where you are just one speck amongst the vast unending soup? and there probably aren’t sharks that are going to bother you but there’s always that little niggling chance that if something happens there’s nothing you can do about it?? in a lot of ways he loses that control! and i bet that freaks him out a bit.

there’s also him self producing a documentary about himself. and literally giving feedbacks on the edit straight to camera in it like. i want people to know that i am a goofball that has fun :) which yeah he does and he is. but that is a craaaaazy thing to say/do lmao

[ikemenomegas]

First of all, thank you for making this blog!! Its always a pleasure to have more omega!character blogs here hehe. Really really excited and looking forward to your all your hcs and drabbles 😊

Could I request for itachi and izuna, perhaps how they met their alpha and what made them fall in love? Ty!! 🤍

Hello,

Sorry for making you wait for a reply! I wanted to get to a point in Izuna's fic that it was obvious what was going to happen before I answered, and then I realized I hadn't thought about how Itachi might meet his alpha. Sometimes we like the fluffy stuff and my brain had jumped right over "first meetings" and the hardships of a forming relationship to "domestic/mated" hc's. Here's what I came up with after a few days of thinking it over:

Itachi

When there is a strong enough tie, there is no single way to meet someone who's fate crosses paths with yours

Itachi meets his alpha twice

The first time, you were students in the academy. He was well admired by most of the other students, including the person who would be come his alpha

Even though he graduated early, the alpha stayed friendly with him and asked him how he knew to solve certain problems so quickly - essentially their admiration and friendship became such that the alpha used Itachi as a baseline of success and strove for a level of success that emulated their perceptions of him

When Itachi kills his clan and leaves the village, the alpha doesn't believe that the rumors are telling the whole truth. Itachi never did anything without a reason.

If the Alpha is nosy enough (which they are), they probably find out enough of the truth to either get in trouble and have to flee for safety or simply decide to go find Itachi on their own just like when they were kids, knowing that there's maybe no way home. The Alpha wants to know if their assessment of the situation is correct (but also... the kind of person who would put Itachi through something like this is no one you want to serve)

Itachi's second first meeting is when they're both different people and the Alpha shows up while he and Kisame are wandering around.

"I know what happened," you say. Landing right in front of two Akatsuki members is not the best idea you've ever had, but you're not as scared as you thought you would be. The Hidden Mist shinobi, notable for how he's almost a head and a half taller than Itachi and looks like a shark, catches sight of you and grins. You tear your gaze away from him. You're probably going to die anyways, doesn't matter if it's going to be him or how he's going to do it. "Do you now?" Itachi's eyes and his voice are colder than you remember. You shrug. You made peace with the ways this could go last night. "As much as anyone ever knows anything, based upon their own assumptions." Itachi huffs, you'd almost call it a laugh with how similar it is to the sound he would make every time the two of you had done this in the past. "And what are you assumptions?" he asks, mocking. "That I couldn't be the one to do it?" "That maybe there weren't any other good options." You cocked your head to the side, the same direction Itachi's partner was standing. "Do you really want to do this on the road?" Itachi's eyes were already activated, and it was between one heartbeat and the next that you and he were standing alone, wind bending the grass along the road. You're not sure when he cast the genjustu. It could have been the moment you showed up, it could have been after you began to speak, but he's made it obvious, which at least means he's listening.

Alpha lays out what they've figured out from studying village history, listening to what is said between villagers and other shinobi, and mostly tracking the village's power plays.

Honestly it's not much, since the reality was made of so many secret pieces. The theory mostly started based on the Alpha's confidence that Itachi didn't have the necessary pride to actually kill everyone except his brother as a skill test.

In this case the lack of publicly available knowledge about the sharingan and how it can be activated and passed down worked out in your favor.

Ultimately, they just want to know if he committed the massacre because of an order or a personal issue, although the extremity of his actions makes them suspect it was an order. They also can't figure out who of the elders it could come from. And hey, did he know that there's kids disappearing from the village all the time, doesn't that seem like a huge problem?

Itachi is super exasperated even if his face doesn't do anything. He's supposed to do this alone, not get confronted with the confidence of someone he used to know.

Itachi tries to warn them off, but does admit that the dark side of the village (Danzo) probably has them on a radar by now. Better to let you tag along. At least he can keep an eye on you this way. It wouldn't do for his secrets to get out if you've figure it out. He can always kill you later.

"You aren't getting sentimental on me, are you Itachi?" his companion asks. Itachi blinks, his sharingan fading away. "You can say something when you learn how to cook, Kisame."

Kisame feels offended. There's nothing wrong with raw fish 24/7/365. Does Itachi know how expensive sashimi is when you don't do it yourself?

This new version of Itachi is depressing and depressed. He's not just quiet, he's silent, which is creepy when he sneaks up on you one too many times when you have to move camp further into the woods (you and he are probably 16-17 at this point and the Uchiha have a problem)

He's willing to suffer because he thinks he deserves it and low key makes the first few weeks of camping Worse than necessary to try and get you to leave. But eventually he does let you travel with him, as long as you stay out of sight.

He ends up helping you fake your death (if you didn't already do a good job yourself) after noticing a Root member in a town you've been to with them before and coming up with an excuse for Pain so that Deidara and Hidan the others aren't allowed to kill you on sight.

Itachi falls in love with his Alpha slowly. Honestly the two of them don't realize they've sort of been courting until Kisame points out how much stuff they have in this one sealing scroll and that none of it is his thank you very much.

Which ensures the sort of sibling-like bickering between the Alpha and Kisame that "the scroll doesn't even weigh anything for you, why are you complaining" and he catches himself hiding a smile in his collar and he sort of realizes that he's grown both familiar and comfortable around you.

Not only is he comfortable, he no longer views you as a threat, he feels safe when you're around, there's a reason all the trinkets you've brought one another that aren't edible are in that scroll and it's that he wants them, he wants you around, in a way he hasn't allowed himself to want anything for years.

He likes that you believed in him, he didn't know how much that would mean until he had it.

It makes him feel guilty but also somehow important that this is also an Alpha that, although maybe not intentionally, lost everything looking for him, and is consistently devoted to his comfort and respectful of his boundaries while also somehow drawing him little by little out of the shell he'd built around his heart when he killed almost everyone he was ever told he should love.

He loves that you invent your own little missions in every town they stop in (they're silly things sometimes, other times more complicated and have to do with you finding more ways to protect yourself so Itachi doesn't have to worry about you when you travel)

He thinks it's sweet that the crows he sends to travel with you all end up with a name (... it's the same name, you just call them karasu because "you should call something what it is and it's a crow, Itachi") and sit in the hood of your cloak

When it doesn't annoy him (because you're right) he likes that you say things the way they are, the bluntness is refreshing and different from the way Kisame likes to play with metaphors and thinly veiled hints

Izuna

Izuna meets his Alpha the day they get married

The warring states period is dangerous and messy and people die from things other than war. Izuna was engaged to his Alpha's elder sister (who was a beta) since before he presented as part of a main clan to branch-clan marriage. When she died, her younger sibling, who was an Alpha and who he had never seen before in person or in paintings, is put forth as her replacement.

The ceremony was already scheduled, the dowries (in this case the gifts the mates give each other for they and their families to use) were both prepared, even the clothing was all ready, so the temples just redid Izuna and the Alpha's birth charts and chose the next date that was close to the original

He's nervous during the ceremony because he doesn't know this alpha. Alphas fight in the war, and every amab child is also trained to fight on a battlefield (as opposed to afab kids who are also taught to fight, but more so they have some means of self defense and this has to do with how male omegas can't be identified until they present in adolescence) but there's still stereotypes around how alphas treat omegas

He's one of the Uchiha's best fighters, war is stressful, the Uchiha (of which he is one) are stressful, the daimyo is stressful and annoying. Izuna is very stressed. And he's getting mated and married before Madara does, so he's stressed about doing something before brother in the way that younger siblings get about that sort of thing (smug and also nervous)

But the ceremony is nice, normal, he sneaks glances at you throughout and is at least glad you comport yourself well

Izuna falls in love with his alpha's respect. They don't ask anything of him the first night, or any of the nights they are traveling back to the main compound. They leave that first step to him

In my naruto omegaverse, there's a potential benefit to alpha-omega pairings (beta-omega and beta-alpha pairs might also get this benefit but it's one-sided in favor of the beta and still isn't a guaranteed part of the bond), which is that upon consensually submitting to the mating mark, the alpha-omega pair have a better sense of one anothers' location and have better coordination with one another over all because of it. For battle-pairs this could provide an incredible edge.

Because no one except his brother and Tobirama have ever been able to keep up with him in a fight, Izuna is a little more interested in a second effect, which is that alpha-omega pairs who are well bonded (usually has to include emotionally aligned) have a slight but documented increase in base power level. For Uchiha for whom love (and fear of loss/hate after loss) is sort of the thing that fuels them, this is a little bit more than average. (There's a whole thing about how the organ associated with fire in eastern medicine is the heart and how fire is the Uchiha element etc etc)

So not gonna lie, he's a little in love with the power that mating gets him, but he's also a little proud that he and his mate have the kind of bond that does that.

But he also loves how they care for the clan. His Alpha was trained in chakra control and has taken on roles as a field medic in the past. They also have natural sensory abilities that were honed in the years before they joined the battlefield. They use these skills to look out for the clan in a way that Izuna can't, or cover for place he can't be, which makes him very happy.

They also try to keep up with him regarding field skills, which he finds and endearing and encourages. He loves that his Alpha wants to stand by his side. By the time he and his Alpha have been mated for about two years, they're able to take most missions together. The only thing he will not permit is for his Alpha to be on the front lines with him when they are fighting the Senju, because inevitably when Hashirama or Tobirama are there, the other is not far, and he and Madara must go together in order to meet them.

He also loves how they understand how being an Omega complicates his life as a key fighter for the clan. If there is a "moment" when he realizes how much he could come to love this Alpha, it's when they help him end his heat early using a safe herbal tincture so that he can go to battle without the handicap of needing to ignore it, rather than pushing for him to spend it with them.

Izuna and his Alpha's relationship is largely built on the two of them listening to one anothers' needs and figuring out how to meet them.

part 1 of their fic is linked here!

[blackfeatherdragon]

I'll Become Your Sword and the Shield to Protect You!: An Aztecshipping Manifesto

Happy III day! I wrote up an entire meta post explaining Aztecshipping and why it's good!

(Also available on Ao3 here)

The Basics

Yu-Gi-Oh Zexal is one of multiple spinoffs of the Yu-Gi-Oh anime series, produced by Studio Gallop from April 2011 to March 2014. The main character, one Yuma Tsukumo, is a thirteen year old boy who breaks from series tradition by starting the series with very, very little knowledge of how to play the central card game (Yugi, Yami Yugi, Judai, and Yusei all knew how at the start of their respective series), but ends up going through massive character growth to become able to more than hold his own through his interactions with the main cast and his teamwork with the amnesiac alien Astral. Basically, Yuma is a very determined guy who refuses to ever give up or admit defeat, pushes on with his special catchphrase 'kattobingu', but at the same time still misses his missing adventurer parents dearly, to the point of choosing to sleep on a hammock in the attic where the artifacts collected through their adventures are stored. His relationship with his older sister Akari is a bit rocky due to her barring Yuma from playing Duel Monsters at the start of the series, but it's clear they (and their grandmother/guardian Haru) do care about each other.

Once you get past the shock of the Zexal protagonist being a highly energetic but unskilled Duelist of a thirteen year old (especially if you choose to start Zexal right after finishing the previous spinoff Yu-Gi-Oh 5Ds), he's actually a really fun protagonist to root for. You want Yuma to succeed and help Astral collect the Number cards needed to unlock Astral's missing memories. You want Yuma to find a way to save everyone in the final stretch, even characters like Vector, who tricked Yuma multiple times.

(That's a great protag right there.)

On the topic of shipping, there are many different pairings involving Yuma in some way. The two most popular by far are Sharkbaitshipping (Yuma/Ryoga 'Shark' Kamishiro) and Keyshipping (Yuma/Astral), with Sharkbaitshipping holding 274 fics on Ao3 and Keyshipping holding 239 fics at the time of writing this. Other ships command varying degrees of popularity too, including Skyshipping (Yuma/Kotori, 45 fics), Seraphshipping (Yuma/Alit, 35 fics), Negativeshipping (Yuma/Vector, 169 fics), and Dokidokishipping (Yuma/Kaito, 144 fics). But there is one that is, in my mind, criminally rare: Aztecshipping, or Yuma/Michael 'III' Arclight. At the time this was written in March 2024, Aztecshipping had a mere 29 fics posted to Ao3. (30 fics if you include this!)

You explained who Yuma is, who is III?

I mean, if you're here you probably know who III is, buuut he's my special little blorbo and I'm posting this for III Day so I get to talk about him.

III (birth name: Michael Arclight) is the fifteen year old youngest son of the Arclight family, a group of four people who acted as one of the antagonist groups of the first half of the series. (The other three members being his older brothers IV and V, and his father Tron.) III is the nicest of the family and is seen to defuse arguments between his brothers, but at the same time has his own problems stemming from his broken family situation.

III is shown to be intensely and unwaveringly loyal to his family, displaying a willingness to both kill for the sake of those he cares about and die for their sake. In fact, during his Duel against Yuma, he deliberately goes out of his way to mentally break Yuma and kill Astral out of jealousy towards Yuma's healthier family and desperation to protect his own, only backing down from his desperate rage when a card he played (Final Prophecy) tried to punch a hole in reality to open a portal to the Barian World.

Tying into this, III puts up little resistance to his father's scheme to get revenge against Dr. Faker, often going along with all but the worst of his family's actions. He delivers a dangerous Number card to Shark at Tron's request, knowing that the card would try to control Shark, but later expresses discomfort when Tron performs a ritual to steal Haruto's power, due to the ritual causing pain to Haruto.

(Remember III's loyalty, it's a surprise tool that will help us later.)

Finally, III has a strong interest in ancient civilizations (with a dash of Ancient Aliens style conspiracies about out of place artifacts coming from other dimensions mixed in), much like how his father was once invested in researching interdimensional portals. This is also a surprise tool that will help us later.

The Ship Summary

To explain Aztecshipping, we have to go back to Yuma and III's fathers: Kazuma Tsukumo and Byron Arclight.

Byron was working with Dr. Faker and the explorer Kazuma on interdimensional portal research, and the three eventually went on a trip to uncover one of these portals. Unfortunately, Dr. Faker ended up betraying both Kazuma and Byron, sacrificing them to open the portal.

While Kazuma ended up trapped in the Astral World after this, Byron ended up stuck in the Barian World, and ultimately struck a deal with the Barians where he was granted power to get revenge against Dr. Faker in exchange for gathering Number cards for the Barians, and eventually returned to Earth as Tron.

As for their families that were left behind on Earth, the Tsukumos were able to stay relatively healthy, with Haru taking over as guardian to Yuma and Akari in the absence of Kazuma and his wife, the severely plot neglected Mirai. Yuma still missed his parents dearly, but his family remained functional.

The Arclights were not so lucky.

With no parents in the picture and oldest son Christopher too young to act as a guardian to his brothers/busy investigating what happened to his father while working for Dr. Faker as an assistant, both Michael and his second brother Thomas were left to an orphanage, only returning to their family when Tron came back and Christopher realized the truth. Tron reduced his sons to mere pawns in his revenge scheme, forcibly renaming Christopher, Thomas, and Michael as V, IV, and III respectively and granting them special crests to give them power, and subsequently allowed his family to fall to dysfunction as he obsessed over revenge.

In this way, Yuma and III are mirrors of each other, both losing their fathers in the same incident but reacting in opposite ways. Yuma is connected to the Astral World from the start with his friendship with Astral and his father's fate, while III is connected with the opposing Barian World due to Tron's deal and the fallout of it.

To that end, Yuma and III initially opposed each other, their first significant interaction being a Tag Duel where Yuma (working with Kaito) Dueled III (working with IV) in a bid to rescue Kaito's younger brother Haruto after his kidnapping at the hands of the Arclights. However, it really wasn't long before III became curious about Yuma and his determination, going out of his way to break into the Tsukumo household to investigate (and was subsequently distracted by the artifacts in the attic/started infodumping about them to Yuma. Nerd.)

(This is actually likely where the ship name Aztecshipping comes from, between Yuma's idolization of his absent father and III's love for ancient civilizations/his favourite card being Chronomaly Aztec Mask Golem.)

Desperate to protect his family from being potentially opposed by Yuma and jealous of the actually functional Tsukumos after meeting them, III challenged Yuma to a Duel, in which he tormented Yuma and killed Astral, before attempting to sacrifice himself in a forced tie just to stop Yuma. The turning point came when one of III's cards, Final Prophecy, started trying to forcibly open a portal to the Barian World at the cost of ending the world, forcing III to share his crest power with Yuma to try to revive Astral and stop Final Prophecy's effect.

The plan was a long shot; there was no guarantee that Yuma would be able to take that amount of power. Yuma withstood it though, and with Astral back, managed to work together to defeat III and stop Final Prophecy. This was the true turning point of their relationship, as III recognized Yuma as his first and only friend and trusted him to be able to save his broken family.

Remember III's intense loyalty? Good, we're coming back to that now.

After this, III vanished from the plot for a while, eventually returning to protect Yuma from being menaced by the Barians Mr. Heartland and Semimaru by way of throwing a sword at Mr. Heartland and outright declaring that he would act as Yuma's 'sword and shield' before teaming up with Yuma to Duel Semimaru. In turn, Yuma trusted III to have his Number cards back, after III willingly gave them up to Yuma after their Duel some time earlier.

It seems that by now III's undying loyalty fully extended to Yuma, as he went out of his way to redirect an attack that would have hit Yuma and his monster to strike him instead, once again showcasing his willingness to sacrifice himself for those he cares about. After the Duel, which ended with III and Yuma working together to combine Yuma's 'Number 39: Utopia' and III's 'Number 6: Chronomaly Atlandis' to beat Semimaru, Yuma let III have the new Number card won off Semimaru: 'Number 3: Cicada King'.

III continued to stay with and protect Yuma after this, temporarily living in the Tsukumo household and sticking alongside Yuma at all times to fulfil this. To that end, III calls to mind a knight, someone willing to fight and die for the one he protects without thought for himself. III is also seen to become concerned for Yuma's mental state due to Astral seemingly dying at the hands of Black Mist several episodes prior, and after Yuma returns from a trip to the Astral World to find and bring back Astral, is relieved to see him again.

III sacrificing for Yuma came to a head when he and V went out of their way to stall several Barians to protect Yuma, Astral, and Kaito during the big Barian invasion. III knew going in that he would die doing this, but he didn't care, willingly sacrificing himself to save Yuma one more time.

Initially, III claimed to Yuma that he and V were going to confront the Barians to get revenge for IV's death earlier, saying that he'd grown sick of Yuma's optimism, but this was a lie meant to stop Yuma from following him. When it became clear that the brothers were fighting a losing match against the Barian Mizael, V opened a video link to Yuma to deliver a final message. III took the opportunity to apologize for lying, saying that Yuma was a true friend and say goodbye, before declaring that he'd be with Yuma in spirit as Mizael launched his final attack, killing both III and V.

This sacrifice caused Yuma to break down sobbing at being unable to stop it from happening due to traveling to track down the Barian leader Don Thousand.

Luckily, after the defeat of the Barians, everyone who died in the final invasion came back to life, III included. The final episode reveals that III enrolled in Yuma's middle school, somehow ending up in the same year as Yuma despite being two years older than him. III's literal final scene in the series has him declaring that he'll fight alongside Yuma anywhere, which again. Knight motifs.

Ship Dynamics

Yuma and III start off as enemies, facing off against each other as their goals and family situations clashed. However, it really isn't long before III starts viewing Yuma as a friend due to Yuma's unending determination and aid in preventing the end of the world via Final Prophecy, eventually even extending the loyalty once reserved for family out to Yuma. Once this shift happens, the dynamic changes to that of a knight protecting his charge with the power of his sword and his own life on the line, willing to die to see that charge safe.

In turn, Yuma seems rather okay with III protecting him despite their notable rough start. He allows III to live in his house for a time and even gives III's Number cards back and temporarily shares his school uniform with him just so that III isn't wearing the same clothes the whole time (this is before III joins Yuma's school, by the way). He's distraught when III (and V) sacrifices himself to hold off the Barians, breaking down in tears after watching the final blow.

It's not all III protecting and sacrificing for Yuma, either. They work together very well when Dueling Semimaru, coming up with a plan to join their monsters together via Chronomaly Atlandis's effect to stop Semimaru. Yuma also promises to help save III's family where III could not, seemingly genuinely forgiving III for his actions during their Duel against each other.

They also have a connection via their interests; Yuma idolizes his missing explorer father and has a number of ancient artifacts in his house, while III has a strong interest in ancient civilizations. It's not hard to imagine them working together on explorations and archaeology digs as they get older, helping and protecting each other as needed.

Tldr: Aztecshipping is a very cute ship with protector/protectee themes and two young nerds. They should be together.

References

-Yugipedia (Crossreferencing canon events and characters) -zexual-shippings (Various ship names) -Ao3 (Fic counts for various ships)

Specific episodes:

-Episodes 41-43: III and IV vs Yuma and Kaito. III starts to become curious about Yuma and his determination at the end of episode 43. -Episodes 46-49: III vs Yuma. III spends most of the Duel proper (47 to 49) tormenting Yuma and Astral, only coming out of his desperation and rage when he realizes what Final Prophecy is doing. III and Yuma work together to stop the effect of Final Prophecy in episode 49, followed by III admitting that Yuma is his first friend and asking him to save his family/giving up his Number cards to Yuma. Episode 46 also contains III nerding out over the artifacts in Yuma's attic. -Episodes 112-113: III and Yuma vs Semimaru. 112 has III throw a sword at Mr. Heartland to defend Yuma and state that he'll be Yuma's 'sword and shield'. Yuma also trusts III to have his Number cards back in 112, followed by trusting III to have the new Number card 'Number 3: Cicada King' in 113. -Episodes 114-116: III continues to stay with Yuma to protect and help him in Astral's absence, including staying over at Yuma's house and borrowing a school uniform from Yuma. III also becomes concerned for Yuma's mental state in the wake of Astral seemingly dying again. -Episodes 126-128: III and V vs Mizael. III claims he's sick of Yuma's optimism to stop Yuma from following him to the Duel, knowing that Yuma needed to go on while he and V stalled for time. III gets the chance to apologize for lying and say goodbye/that he'll be with Yuma in spirit right before dying to Mizael. -Episode 146: III is shown to have enrolled in Yuma's school and is in the same year as him despite being two years older. III later states that he'll fight alongside Yuma anywhere towards the end of the episode.

[jiminrings]

hybrid!tae prologue :D

Taehyung doesn’t take well to change.

To put it bluntly, he’s poor at it. He’s only ever been with his coalition since birth, their living situation growing scrambled now that they’ve graduated. From living with six other packmates, it’s narrowed down to just living with Jimin. They’re on the same boat the last time he checked — wanting to take a year of rest before actually working and expanding their opportunities (like his other packmates did) since getting their degrees.

That’s not what Jimin’s saying now though.

“Cheer up, Tae! I’ll be rooming with Yoongi and Hoseok in the city. You don’t have to be worried for me,” Jimin reassures him, about to put a comforting hand on Taehyung’s back when the younger quite literally hisses at him.

“I’m not worried for you, I’m worried for me!” Taehyung whisper-yells, anxiety already bubbling at his stomach. Who will he live with then? Cheetahs can live alone but it doesn’t mean he’s necessarily good and confident at it. Hell, even his packmates who moved out live with atleast one of the others.

“How brotherly of you. So sweet, so… typical,” Jimin grimaces, nose upturned at Taehyung’s response to his plan of moving out. He knows how Taehyung has always been a little more anxious than the rest of them; a little more attached, the one with the tendency to hang around like a shadow for the rest of the day when he’s feeling particularly unsociable. 

It’s in their nature, Taehyung’s most specifically, to feel a little more desperate for consistency and familiarity. He can’t help but to feel anxious, even now at the impending and probable reality of living without any of his packmates he’s lived with almost his whole life.

He resents change. He’s more scared of it than he is bitter. The other day, Jimin took the liberty of cooking breakfast for the both of them and made the tiny mistake of putting Taehyung’s coffee in a new, green mug rather than his faded blue mug that had a print of a cartoon shark on it.

Jimin’s not kidding when he says Taehyung almost did the 4-7-8 breathing technique right then and there at the breakfast table.

A mere switch of a mug is lightyears away from him living alone and it makes Taehyung breathless, nibbling at his upper lip that Jimin’s quick to remedy by flicking him on the forehead.

“Relax. You won’t be living alone.”

“Really?” Taehyung’s eyebrows shoot up, relief flooding him instantly. “Who’s coming home?”

Jimin winces, scratching the back of his head. It’s an awkward conversation to bring up but it’s necessary, especially with the vital piece of information he’s yet to reveal. “Nobody, for the time-being. But you will be living with someone though.”

“I’ll live with someone who isn’t either of you six…?” Taehyung blinks owlishly, the lump on his throat growing in size and worry. “A-and when was this decided? Who decided on this and why wasn’t it me?”

“Aha,” Jimin exhales, wanting the ground to swallow him whole because he regrets not taking Namjoon’s advice of easing the news of a new roommate to Taehyung gradually starting a few months back. “You know how it’s proven that dogs calm down cheetahs? And how they can teach us to socialize? How cheetahs can be a dog’s best friend?”

“What the fuck does that have to do with what we’re talking about now? Also, everything you said is only applicable when cheetahs are still cubs and dogs are still puppies!” Taehyung sighs out in frustration, rambling because he’s still nervous. Jimin’s oddly good at this sort of avoidance, coming from the king of avoidance and anxiousness to change himself. “Stop avoiding my question, you’re just distracting me.”

One, two seconds pass.

Jimin squeaks.

“It’s not a distraction.”

Taehyung wants to pass out then and there, the itch on his throat and his palms to hole up in his room alone growing by the second. Fuck, not only does he not get to live with any of his packmates, he has to live with someone he doesn’t know at all.

“You’re kidding me,” Taehyung’s eyes prick, huffing a large amount when Jimin opens his mouth again. He’s not sure how he can make this even worse.

“You’re gonna love her, I promise!” he assures him to no end, standing up instantly. The action makes Taehyung panic slightly, getting up himself and following Jimin even if he’s still mad at him. “Actually, I don’t even know how you didn’t notice Y/N the whole time. She’s just been sitting outside the door for half an hour now.”

Taehyung has no time to react to your name nor the admission that you’ve been outside even before this whole conversation escalated because Jimin flings the door open in a panic, wanting to get out of his and Taehyung’s confrontation and go straight to his and yours instead.

You’re standing there with the bubbliest smile on your face, an eager wave already in motion the moment you hear Jimin’s anxious squeaks through the door.

“Hi, I’m Y/N! Jimin’s friend from uni! We met a couple times before,” you beam at Taehyung who’s just standing frozen in shock at the door. It’s understandable to say the least considering that you’ve been through almost the same thing with Jimin, recalling how he froze the whole lecture when you simply leaned down and asked him if he had a spare pen. A whole semester of squeezing yourself into Jimin’s non-existent social circle in school and a lot of side-eyes from him that turned into head bumps later, the cheetah could say he had a best friend in you.

“Sorry, Y/N. Taehyung’s usually more… kinetic than this,” Jimin apologizes, pinching him by the side that does little to wipe off the shock from him.

“Come in, come in! Let’s get the two of you acquainted first before you move in tomorrow,” Jimin hurries you in, putting himself in the middle while walking the two of you by the arms.

“Tomorrow?” Taehyung gapes and whispers, nervous irises flitting towards you. He’s practically trembling at the knees, his tall and proud nature of a cheetah now reduced into a slouching and close-to-tears of a human.

Jimin sits the both of you down on the couch, originally in the middle but Taehyung scurries to the other end. He tries to explain through his gaze that he’ll give the full explanation later — to not be rude and make you feel unwanted. He’s about to apologize to you for Taehyung’s skittishness until he gets a call from Jin, something to do with the exact situation now that it makes him take the call outside at the hallway instead.

It’s just you and him now.

Taehyung doesn’t have the security to look towards you despite being the superior being out of the both of you. He has an awful lot to take in and your sudden presence into the equation doesn’t help, the idea of you already overwhelming him.

He doesn’t look at you until you hum and tap the cushion of the couch to alert him, holding a paper bag for him to take. He only peers at it, still too hesitant to get it because it would mean having physical contact with you.

“It’s a little DIY kit for you to make your own mug,” you offer with a cheesy grin, shaking the bag a little. Taehyung blinks slowly, eyes widening at you but not with hostility. 

Perhaps he’s going to try to welcome change. (Read: you might be a perfect roommate after all.)

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want to read more of hybrid!tae in the future? catch him on patreon! he'll only be exclusively available there :D

[watching-pictures-move]

Movie Review | New Jack City (Van Peebles, 1991)

Probably the most intriguing element of New Jack City is the way it consciously invites comparisons to other movies. Blaxploitation is referenced repeatedly, with characters watching Sweet Sweetback's Baadasssss Song on TV, and one character calling another "Superfly" while monitoring an undercover operation. And in a key scene, the villain watches the ending of Scarface in his home, perhaps unaware of the irony presented by his enjoyment of the movie. But I think that last point of comparison is key to what Mario Van Peebles is trying to do with this movie. It's a fact that Scarface, despite having a "crime doesn't pay" message obvious to anyone who really paid attention, has also become iconic in certain circles and has been misread both by defenders and detractors as aspirational. This is a "mistake" that Van Peebles doesn't want to repeat.

Scarface starts off in the grim realities of the streets, and as the protagonist climbs the criminal ladder, the movie gets more and more insular, with the climax taking place in his mansion as the manufactured reality of his empire collapses around him. The movie is about cocaine, the use of which brings about the protagonist's downward spiral, but we never see its effects on ordinary users. New Jack City presents us with scene after scene of characters and communities ravaged by the crack epidemic, and situates much of its action in the projects and in the streets to make sure we know the true consequences of the villain's actions. And I use "villain", instead of "protagonist", because the movie avoids making him our point of identification, placing us instead with a small team of unconventional cops determined to take him down. And despite Wesley Snipes' immense charisma, we're never meant to find him appealing, as the closest we get to him are when he admits to gunning down an innocent woman, and later uses a child for a human shield during an attempt on his life. Van Peebles wants us to know this is a bad guy who does bad things. (Van Peebles also stacks the deck against him by associating him with New Jack Swing, a genre nobody has listened to since the early '90s, and giving him a ridiculous shark fun hairdo. If he'd just had a regular flattop, he would have looked great. The cops instead get "New Jack Hustler" by Ice-T, easily the best song on the soundtrack. I also found Snipes' red suit, turtleneck and gold chain combo a bit gaudy, but I supposed that was considered cool at the time.)

I used "mistake" in quotes above because I don't actually think those things are flaws with the movies Van Peebles compares his to. The caution he uses in presenting this material makes his message clearer, but not necessarily more potent, as we're never able to be seduced by the villain's lifestyles. This was released the year after King of New York, another movie that captures the tension between a villain who vows to help his community and the evil he really does, but that movie dared to have us identify with, and at times even root for its villain. (And it's more pointed about its racial commentary to boot.) Snipes' character offers some justification for his actions, mentioning that "You gotta rob to get rich in the Reagan era" and offering a systemic condemnation during his trial:

I'm not guilty. You're the one that's guilty. The lawmakers, the politicians, the Columbian drug lords, all you who lobby against making drugs legal. Just like you did with alcohol during the prohibition. You're the one who's guilty. I mean, c'mon, let's kick the ballistics here: Ain't no Uzi's made in Harlem. Not one of us in here owns a poppy field. This thing is bigger than Nino Brown. This is big business. This is the American way.

But these are never argued persuasively. The movie closes things off in a way that perhaps harkens back to the Hays Code Morality that Van Peebles is trying to channel, but instead comes off as a little convenient. All that being said, the movie is directed engagingly, with actions scenes defined by their claustrophobia, as well as some nice textured supporting performances by Ice-T and Judd Nelson as the two loose-cannon cops, and Chris Rock as a junkie trying to redeem himself. And of course, you can't argue with the Snipes performance.

[royalreef]

(( I’ve definitely written it out before, but:

Miranda’s actually one of those people who doesn’t get scared by horror!

Of course, she will hem and haw and refuse to engage with it, play up how scared she is of horror, but that’s not really formed out of any real experience with the subject. She’s never seen any horror movies before, but she knows they’re supposed to scare her, so she assumes they will be scary to her. It’s not that she’s intentionally trying to mislead people, there’s just a disconnect between the reality and what Miranda assumes.

Of course, the second you actually manage to sit her down for something horror-related, and past the moment of her worrying about how scary it will be, she just... never reacts in fear to it. Mostly this is in part due to having lived through equally as bad, if not sometimes worse, situations herself — but there’s a fair part of it that occurs just because she’s a merfolk. They have a very different set of cultural fears than your typical western horror movie, and quite a lot that’s scary to us is just life to them. They aren’t going to be scared of a shark, even if it has started to hunt them, because that’s just day-to-day life with them. It happens. It’s not great, but they don’t spend a lot of time worrying about it, and a lot of the hype is entirely missed. Open spaces aren’t so scary when you live in the ocean and it goes on forever in every direction, nor is the dark when you’re made to live in absolute darkness. Trying to play off the fear of spiders and arthropods is going to go nowhere, when most merfolk associate chitinous bodies and the way they move with either food or cleaning.

There are some plots that do bother Miranda, particularly topics around body-snatching, but that seldom goes all the way into fear. If anything, it’s more of a persistent discomfort, rather than genuine fear.

So if you do get Miranda to participate in horror, she’s probably not going to react to it! Either that, or constantly sit there asking when the scary parts are going to begin, right at the climax of the movie. You might even get her staring at the special effects and talking about how, when you do that to a person, it doesn’t work/look like that. Or, you could even get Miranda getting excited about the kills, usually in more tortureporn-esque genres.

[bustyasianbeautiespod]

Episode 77 Transcript: American Masculinity as Seen From the Perspective of a Guy Whose Only Vision of American Masculinity is Supernatural and Bruce Springsteen

[intro guitar music]

G: Hello! My name is Grey. C: And my name is Crystal. G: And this is Busty Asian Beauties, a Supernatural commentary podcast where I, someone who has seen the show several times... C: And I, someone who only knows the show through social media, discuss every single episode of Supernatural from start to finish. Also, we are both Asian. G: Both Asian! For this episode, we will be discussing Season 4, Episode 17: "It's a Terrible Life," written by Sera Gamble, directed by James L. Conway.

C: This was pretty good, actually. Like, I had fun during, like, all of it, basically?

G: Yeah. [laughs] After you watched this episode, you messaged me, like, "Is Supernatural actually good?" [laughs]

C: "Or have I turned stupid now?" [G: For real.] [laughs] was the end of that message.

G: Yeah. And I don't think you have turned stupid. I think this is a good episode.

C: Yeah.

G: It's good. It's fine.

C: I think, like, "On the Head of a Pin" is like, a lot more interesting conceptually [G: Yes.], but like, I feel like, just in terms of like, pure enjoyment, I think this one wins, even though Cas isn't in it, which is like, so weird.

G: Well, I don't think it's weird given that like, the whole point of Zachariah is like, "I'm Cas's boss. I'm taking over now," you know? [C: Mm-hm.] But we do see Cas next episode, I believe, which is "Monster at the End of This Book."

C: Oh, shit! We're already meeting Chuck?

G: I think so. I think so. [C: Huh!] If I'm wrong, well, I'm so sorry. If I'm right, I'm keeping this entire bit.

C: No, I think you're right. 'Cause it's "Monster at the End of the Book," "Jump the Shark," "The Rapture," "When the Levee Breaks," "Lucifer Rising," right?

G: What do you know about this episode? Do you just know everything?

C: Not all of it. So I knew that, like, Dean was gonna be like, a gay Ken doll guy named Dean Smith put in some kind of like, an alternate reality by Zachariah, and that Dean Smith likes Project Runway and eating salads and isn't a hunter, and I know that Sam was gonna be like, an IT guy named Sam Wesson who wears a yellow shirt, and at some point he smashes up a computer, and at some point, blood explodes on his face. [G: Wonderful.] But like, I didn't know the case stuff, or like, fully what the point of Zachariah putting them in that situation was.

G: Yeah. It's very like, like, they do this pretty much the exact same thing, but like, a little bit different in- with Gabriel.

C: "Changing Channels."

G: What's that called? [both] "Changing Channels." Yeah. Cas is in that one.

C: Sam becomes the Impala. Yeah! And he has duct tape over his mouth, and he looks soo cute. Sam's a lot more interesting than Dean is, even though everyone focuses on Dean in this episode.

G: I have a feeling that wherever Dean is in his journey, he would still be this. Like, if you put him in this situation, he'd probably pretty much be the same. He'd be, you know, Ken doll Dean Smith. With Sam, I feel like depending on his journey in life, he could be a completely different person [C: Yeah.] in the world of well, corporate. [laughs] And I don't know. I just find it so interesting that they do this episode here at the time where Sam is the very most likely to act like he does.

C: Yeah.

G: I feel like, you know, Season 2, Season 1- Season 1 Sam specifically would not act like this, you know?

C: Yeah, only Season 4 Sam would be like, "We have to do hunting right now."

G: Yeah. This is like, the only moment in time where this episode would be true to their character. And yeah. I find that interesting. I think we have talked sometimes in other episodes where I go, like, "This episode feels actually like a more future seasons episode." Like, "I get the vibe that they're going for, but they should have went with it like, further down the line" or something. Or like, "Oh, this episode would actually fit better in Season 2 because it fits the themes of Season 2 better," you know, stuff like that. This one is like, a perfect example of "It could only work right here, right now," and I love it for that. [C: Yeah.] For Sam specifically, yeah. And like, I remember watching it- of course I remember this. But I forgot the way like, it made me feel when I first watched it, and now I remember. And it's like, I don't even know how to describe the feeling.

C: How did it make you feel?

G: I don't know. It's like, "Huh. What are they doing to him? [C laughs] Why are they making him act this way?" Like, it's not even like, "Why is Dean doing this?" It's more like, "What are they trying to tell me by making Dean do this?"

C: That they think it's like, funny to eat salads as a man, [laughs] I think.

G: Sera Gamble, what are you trying to tell me? And like, I'm sure that to be like, a writer in a big TV show- Is Supernatural a big TV show? I think it is. [C: Yeah.] Is it a big TV show? It's a network television show, I mean, it is.

C: [laughing] The American troops love it. [both laugh] God.

G: It's very in demand in like, Afghanistan or something. Yeah, it's big.

C: Oh, god it's so- I mean, yeah. Just one of those facts about Supernatural that really makes you sit down and be like, "That makes perfect sense, and I hate it."

G: I don't know. Sera Gamble has written good episodes [C: Yeah.], where like, she said things. [C laughs] And so here, it's like, "What is she telling me? What are you telling me, Sera Gamble?" To get into what Sera Gamble is trying to tell us, let us look into what Sera Gamble does tell us [C: Told us.] in the opening sequence of this episode. [C laughs]

-

G: We start off like, with an alarm clock going from 5:59 to 6 AM. It's Dean. He's getting up from the bed. He is in this like, very nice apartment.

C: Oh, the music is important.

G: What is the music? Can you tell me?

C: "A Well-Respected Man" by The Kinks. I don't know.

G: What's that mean?

C: I don't know. Just the vibe of the music is very like-

G: Jaunty?

C: Like, old-timey, like... Yeah, I don't know how to describe what the music is like exactly, but like, the vibe of it is just very like, "Look at this pleasant man in the 80s with his white picket fence."

G: He makes like, coffee. Is this the oatmeal? Is this the oatmeal that everyone has- oat milk that everyone has talked about?

C: Huh. I didn't pay attention.

G: He makes this with oat milk or something. Yeah, oh, no, he makes it with rice milk! I just saw. [C: Aww!] The box says rice milk. [C: Hell yeah.] And everyone to hell and back has pointed this out. I mean, a lot of the details with Dean in this episode [C: People are obsessed with.] has been pointed out. Yeah, people are obsessed with Dean this episode. I think for good reasons, it's just- Okay, later. [C laughs] Later. Later. Let's talk about the "It's just" later. [C laughs] But yeah. The outfit Dean is wearing is, he's wearing like, a striped shirt. The shirt is like, blue stripes. Like, dark blue and light blue stripes, and the color and the cuffs are like, starched white. And yeah, it's a crazy look, honestly. [laughing] Like, why are you wearing this, Dean Smith? [C laughs] I understand that you're like, representing a gay Ken doll in corporate America or whatever [C laughs] but like, why are you wearing this? I thought you were a Project Runway enthusiast! [C laughs] But he's also wearing suspenders that are like, blue and red over this, and a viciously red tie. Like, this tie is a warm-tone red. The undertones are orange. So yeah. Crazy. Crazy outfit.

C: Crazy. And his hair is all slicked back.

G: Oh, yeah! You know, it's crazy, 'cause like, I never think of Dean's hair as something that can be styled, and so when he styles it, I'm like, "Oh, you can do that? [C laughs] That's crazy. I thought it's just there. Like, I thought you wake up, and then nothing happens." I mentioned the apartment earlier as like, very nice, but like, you can also see out of the window that this is like, a high rise situation. Like, he's like, up in the building. Which, like, that does mean something, right? [laughs] Like, when you're higher up the building, it means something.

C: Yeah, yeah, the penthouse suite is like, more expensive. If, like, an apartment has like, affordable housing units, they're often on lower floors, etc.

G: Yeah. Yeah. And he enters his car, which is not the Impala. It's a silver-

C: Toyota Prius, which is- I think that's a brand of car that, like, I've heard of the past that people associate it with like, being like, a Bernie voter, or like, maybe just being a Democrat, like, who's not a Bernie voter. It's very like, a- it's a liberal car, is how people often view it.

G: What's a Republican car? What's a Conservative car? Like, a F-

C: The Impala. [both laughing]

G: With its un-PC smoke belching out of it? Yeah.

C: Yes! God! [laughing] Eric Kripke's a crazy, crazy, crazy man.

G: That's an actual thing Eric Kripke said, by the way.

C: I think Priuses are hybrids. I think that's part of why.

G: Even here? Even back here in 2000 whatever?

C: Yeah, even the 2009 is a hybrid.

G: That's fun. So it really is the like- PC, non-smoke-belching car. [C laughs] That's crazy.

C: Yeah, there's not that much smoke, yeah. Yeah. And that's a deliberate choice. And it's interesting! [laughs]

G: Yeah, it's silver. He goes into it, and the radio cuts off the music that's happening in the show with like, loud rock music. He changes the station to the AM radio, and it's NPR.

C: Yeah, which I think the cultural associations of that are also like, it's like, white liberals who have money, I think, that listen to NPR.

G: I mean, I'm not American. I don't know anything about your radio. But NPR is like, prominent in the podcasting blah blah blah. They have a lot of podcasts.

C: Yeah, they do.

G: Yeah, and I've not listened to a single one. But I know they exist. [C laughs] Pat on the back to me.

C: Yeah. Gold star.

G: It's my genuine responsibility as a podcast to know about the podcasting-

C: Yeah, to understand the industry.

G: Yeah, exactly. [laughing]

C: Yeah, to understand our competitors, NPR. [G laughing]

G: Our competitors, NPR, yeah.

C: Their market share shall diminish the more we advertise.

G: [laughing] When we start making $20 a month, it's over for NPR. [both laughing]

So Dean nods and does a little smile at this wonderful morning news. [C: Yeah.] And then he drives off.

C: Wouldn't anything on NPR during this time be about the housing crash? I feel like he wouldn't be having a good time. His portfolio has gone entirely down the drain!

G: [laughing] Is this the first time they've ever mentioned the economy in Supernatural?

C: Yeah, I think so. [laughs]

G: We see him head out of the elevator in the company Sandover Bridge and Iron. Are companies really like this? It's crazy.

C: Like what?

G: I don't know. [laughs] You're a working person. What is working like? I've never worked in an office.

C: You go in and you sit at your cubicle. [G: That's crazy.] And then you have tasks that someone told you to do earlier that week, and then you work on the tasks. And then sometimes you message the person who told you to do it with like, questions or updates.

G: Yeah. Well, Dean's doing a good job of that. He is Dean Smith in this universe. We see it on his door. Director of Sales and Marketing.

C: Another fun thing is that they get to the line in "A Well-Respected Man" that goes "and he likes his fags the best" about cigarettes [G: Yeah.], but [laughs] they do play that on the show. [G: Hell yeah!] And I'm sure Sera Gamble was having a little giggle to herself about it.

G: And so are all the Tumblrians.

C: Yeah, for different reasons but also the same reason. [G: Yeah.] But I guess the important things are he's on the phone a lot. At some point he's talking to someone, and he's like, "When are they gonna make a show like Project Runway again?"

G: Well, when are they gonna do a show like Project Runway again?

C: I've never seen Project Runway. What is it? Fashion, I'm assuming?

G: I also have never seen it.

C: Is it a competition?

G: I think it's like, they like, design clothes on the spot, and they make them on the spot.

C: Nice.

G: Personally, I'm an Asia's Next Top Model person.

C: Oh, okay, yeah, so that's the detail. And then I think the other detail is that he's on the phone with someone, and he's like, excited about doing a juice cleanse, and he says that like, oh, like, he hardly ever hits the gym, he's getting a bit flabby now, blah blah blah blah blah.

G: You know what's crazy?

C: Yeah.

G: Around the time I first watched this episode, that juice cleanse was still popular. Like, it was like, already a couple of years after this episode came out. Have you ever heard of this one? The like, master cleanse?

C: No, I haven't. This is a real thing?

G: Yes. I like, I have done it. [C: Oh.] In a like, [laughs] family pressure kind of way. [C: Aw. I'm sorry.] Yeah. It's like, they put cayenne pepper, and like, lemon, and like, a sweetener. To us, it was like, molasses or something. I think other people use maple syrup. And it's like, you mix it up, and then you drink that throughout the day. I don't think it does anything. And also, like, cayenne, like, on water, basically is like, disgusting. So, horrible. Don't do it.

C: Wait, okay, juice cleanses are supposed to be like, you don't eat anything?

G: Yes.

C: You just drink that?

G: You're supposed to drink that, yeah. [C: Man. Why would- don't do that. Also, especially not when you're like, a young child. Highly unrecommended. [C: Yeah.] But yeah, when he said it, he was like- did he mention the cayenne pepper, like, in the conversation?

C: Yeah, he was like, "Okay, like, I'm gonna take notes on this. This is like, cayenne pepper and lemon juice? And you said maple syrup?" Something like that.

G: Yeah. And I was like, "I know exactly what you're talking about."

C: Yeah. Also, also, at some point, Zachariah comes in and is like, "Good job. You're like, going places." Blah blah blah.

G: That's literally not true. [laughs] That's a lie, he's lying to you.

C: That's true. The point of this episode is that he's lying to Dean. [G: Yeah.] And Sam, but we don't get to see that reveal, which makes me sad.

G: Yeah! What happens- I mean, are we going to acknowledge that next episode?

C: I doubt it. [laughs]

G: It's just- It's frustrating to me that all of the reveal is like, Dean. And I was expecting it to cut back to Sam-

C: Yeah, you also put Sam in this situation! Like, what was your reasoning for that one?

G: No, because I guess the point is that it's not Sam who needed the convincing. It's Dean.

C: Yeah, but it's also like, why did you put Sam here then?

G: I don't know.

C: So he could do some of the convincing?

G: Maybe they put in.

G: I think maybe Dean was put here first, and he was just like, really enjoying the rice milk lattes. [C: Yeah.] And they were like, "Okay, we need to like, have- we need an instigator in this place. [laughs] Let's bring Sam Winchester in." And that's why Sam is also here. [C: Perhaps.] And also, it's an actual case, which is quite fun. That's not the case for, like, "Changing Channels" or whatever. That's not an actual case. [C: Yeah.] This is an actual case, which is- I don't know. It's like, fun, because obviously, they do a lot of like, roleplaying as FBI or whatever or- Do they roleplay as theater people? No, they don't. They roleplay as like, electricians, [laughs] and Sam mentions being a theater kid. Well, close enough! But yeah, it's never like, high positions like this, you know? So it's fun to see it for Dean, that he's like, a fancy fancy little guy.

C: Yeah. He's supposedly good at his job, even though all Zachariah did was- like, what did Zachariah do to Dean's memory exactly? Like, did he give him like, an MBA inside his head and then take it away later?

G: I mean, I think that's also what they did to people who get MBAs. [both laughing] Does he have lunch in this scene?

C: It's not here yet. I think he eats salad later. So I guess we can talk about what the fuck Sera Gamble was trying to say here.

G: No, I think let's talk about the Sam bit first.

C: Yeah, I guess it's important.

G: Is it? No, I mean just to end the scene.

C: It's important because it's like, homophobic.

G: [laughs] I mean, yeah. Well. And so Dean is heading out. He's back in the elevator. We just see him for the longest time, like, the camera is just on him. And then, like, I don't know, it zooms out or pans to the other side of the elevator, and Sam is there. And he is wearing a little yellow shirt, some slacks. [C: Yeah.] He looks super cute. He's just staring at Dean, and Dean is like, looking back like, a bit apprehensively, and Sam just goes, "Do I know you?" [laughing] which is so funny. He literally is the one doing the staring, and he's like, "Do I know you?"

C: Well, he's just explaining why he's doing the staring.

G: Yeah, I suppose so. Dean's like, "I don't think so." And Sam's like, "I'm sorry, man. You just look really familiar." And Dean goes, "Oh, save it for the health club, pal."

C: [laughing] Save it for the health club.

G: What does that mean?

C: I think he's talking about like, circlejerks in gym steam rooms.

G: [laughs] I love it. Okay, now I know what you mean about that section-

C: Yeah, I mean, yeah. A lot of places are like, places that were like, common for gay men to have anonymous sex, and I think that, like, health clubs were like, one of them.

G: Oh, oh! This is like, an actual thing people say?

C: He's referencing a semi-well-known sexual practice, [G: Ahh.] but I don't think that the phrase like, "Save it for the health club" is like, said.

G: But like, Sam would understand that that's what he's saying.

C: Yes.

G: Okay, got it. Because I literally didn't. I don't know what the fuck he was saying here.

C: Oh. Well, now you know!

G: Now I know, yeah.

C: I mean, you could tell later that Dean-

G: I mean, yeah, Dean says, like, "I already told you, I'm not into-" Yeah.

C: Yeah. So, Ms. Sera Gamble, what have we here?

You know, just the first basic layer where there's like, no issues, are just like, "These are the opposite of Dean's interest, so we're just really showing how like, this guy is different from him." The second layer, right, is like, Dean encapsulates like, a form of masculinity that is desirable, and this character of Dean Smith fails to meet those standards and is laughable because of them, I think, is the next thing she's saying.

G: I mean, I need you to know that whatever complexity you're talking about here, I do not understand, [C laughs] because my only vision of like, American masculinity is literally Supernatural and Bruce Springsteen. [both laughing] Like, I'm not even fucking kidding. Like, I'm being so for real right now. Yeah, I have no idea what the typical, like, American masculine corporate whatever is.

C: I mean, the thing is, you know, like, the song choice, like, "a well-respected man about town." In some ways, Dean is like-

G: The well-respected man.

C: - the suburban dream of, like, like, a USAmerican man like, in terms of, you know, he has like, money, and he has an office job, and so on. So like, I guess- I don't know. The vibe is like- it's like, gay to be like that? But yeah, I don't know. She's saying it's gay to have an office job. I feel like some of it is that Supernatural- hunters are like, the working class, saving like, white suburban America, right? [G: Yeah.] And like, by being that, there's like, a certain kind of working class masculinity that they're meant to encapsulate. And they protect working class- or, sorry, middle class America, but like, mostly the women of middle class America. And it's because the men of middle class America are incapable of doing so because they're emasculated by having office jobs and not going to the gym? [laughs] Like, is sort of the vibe of a lot of Supernatural. And this is just like, hammering that home.

G: The only other like, input I have about this is I feel like a lot of people have the preconceived notion that, like, only rich people get to be gay. [C: Yes.] Or at least gay in a way that is like, flamboyant. Like, for men, specifically, only rich men get to be feminine. This is not even feminine. Just like, whatever this is. Whatever they're trying to say here. Only rich men get to be this kind of gay. [C: Yes.] I genuinely think if you think that that like, you need to go out and meet gay people. [laughs] Like, I don't- I don't know what else to tell you. You need to meet gay people.

C: Yeah, I agree.

G: And not in like, a fancy party either. Like, [laughing] go meet people on the street or something. I don't know.

C: Yeah, yeah. I think that that is definitely what's going on there. Right. And then, also, like, the working class masculinity is also like, tied to like, being a metaphorical, like, military guy or cop guy, etc etc, which, like, is very different from like, this office job, director of sales and marketing.

Also I think the fucking juice cleanse thing, I think, really bothered me. Specifically when Dean's like, "Oh, yeah, I like, haven't been to the gym in ages. Carrying a little bloat around myself." Like, we're supposed to like, be like, "That's bad." And I feel like we're supposed to view the juice cleanse as both like, a class indicator, which, like, Sera Gamble, conflates with like, a lack of masculinity indicator. And it's also like, a "How dare you take the easy way out to become thin."

G: I did not think of it like that at all.

C: Huh. I feel like I read it as like, "The real Dean is like, muscular 'cause he works out and like, saves people and is a hero, and like, people who try to become fit through juice cleanses are like, lazy and terrible." "It's a sedentary lifestyle, my man," as Dean says. And like, I mean, juice cleanses are bad, but like, not for that reason. It's- yeah.

G: [laughing] Yeah. They're not bad because they're gay. [both laugh] Oh, god. I guess I read that one more as like- I don't know. 'Cause there is a lot of like, talk about Dean Winchester and his relationship with food, as opposed to Sam and his relationship to food, which, like, later seasons, we can really sink our teeth into. But like, for now, what we see is Dean of the two of them is the one who is more of an avid eater. And like, when there's food in front of him, he wants to eat it. And like, you know, people, many people have done the like, "It's because when he was a kid."

C: Yeah, food insecurity.

G: I think that is a very- Yeah, food insecurity. That is a very reasonable way to read his character. Here, having him be very picky with his food-

C: Yeah, is it about how this Dean didn't grow up with food insecurity, so-

G: Yeah, this Dean is interacting to the food in this way because he has a different set of experiences with food. [C: Yeah.] I do think that could have been interesting if it wasn't presented as a "haha!"

C: "It's gay," yeah.

G: "But it's so gay of him to eat the salad." I mean, it's so odd to me- I think I've said to you before, but like, I don't think Dean even eats chicken in Supernatural. Like, [laughing] I think Supernatural thinks eating chicken is gay. [both laugh]

C: Yeah, yeah. "Well, you know, the hormones they put in those things." God. [laughs]

G: Good lord. I feel like the later stuff with Sam, with the Sam being vegan but they're not allowed to say it. [C laughs] Is that homophobic? I think it's coming from a different but similar place.

C: I think it's coming from the same place basically.

G: Yeah. No, I just think, like, "Oh, maybe like, around that time, there would be a different you know, sentiment towards-"

C: Perception of being vegan? I don't think so. When he comes to, he goes like, "Oh my god, I'm so hungry." So like, he was hungry the whole time as Dean Smith, though, right?

G: Yes.

C: So I think it's also meant to be like, suppressing your true desire [laughs] to be a hunter

thing that they're doing?

G: That's crazy. So like, Dean Smith's true desire is to throw away the gay corporate life and become a true-blooded, red-blooded American hunter? [laughing]

C: Yes. I mean, that's what Zachariah says, isn't it? Like, isn't that the point of the episode? Like, "You could never be happy as not a hunter, because you'd have to be gay." [laughing] Like-

G: [laughing] "You can either be a gay employee or a straight hunter." Like-

C: Zachariah literally says that "you get to fornicate with women" [G laughs] as part of like, his like, pitch for why Dean should be a hunter. [laughing] It literally is like, you can be a gay employee or straight hunter. [G laughing] Like, why would he bring that up if it wasn't like, "And you were so gay when you were Dean Smith."

G: [laughing] "And you were having sex with men when you were Dean Smith. [C laughs] And now you get to have sex with women." Oh, god.

C: Yeah. But like, I guess that also makes what he says to Sam in the elevator interesting. Like, is he- I don't think they're like, "This character is truly gay." They're just like, "He's not straight enough to be able to have sex with women," but like, they still have to be like, "But he's not gay!" Or like, he's repressed? Like, what are they going for?

G: I don't know. Like, when he tells Sam off later, what he says is like, "I already told you I'm not into..." or something. No, yeah. He says, like, "Look, man, I told you, I'm not into the-" and it's like, 'cause if he says, "I'm into," period, I feel like that could be like, "into men." [C: Mm.] And also now that you say the like, health club thing, it's like, maybe it's like, "not into like, casual stuff"?

C: [laughing] That's so funny. [both laughing] "I would only want to be in a loving, monogamous relationship."

G: When he said it, when he said this line specifically- like, minus the health club, because I did not understand the first time, but when he said this, I was like, "What is he saying there?" So I like, paused it and played it again.

C: I think the "the" is just "the homosexual lifestyle" [laughing] would be how he would end that. [G laughs]

G: But I was like, "What is he saying here?" And also, I don't know. [laughing] Also because, just like, Sam's conversation later is like, so odd. "I've been having dreams." Like, okay, Sam.

C: Also, I know we're using like, "gay" and "unmasculine" sort of interchangeably in this, and I feel like primarily, what Sera Gamble's saying is "unmasculine" and like, "gay" as like, a side dish to that, but like, they're all mixed up together, and I think that it's- I don't know. It is the same thing in Sera Gamble's mind in many ways.

G: Yeah, this is like, the fucking difficulty with talking about Supernatural. Because we'll talk about something, and sometimes I feel like "But I understand that there's nuance!" but like, you have to understand that the people writing this, [C laughs] I don't think they understand that there is nuance. So like, we're forced to interface with it from their perspective of having no nuance. Yeah.

C: Yeah, it is- We do usually classify like, "Oh, you're so unmasculine" as homophobia on our spreadsheet [G: Yeah.] when I think it could just as easily be misogyny.

G: I mean, every single thing we do that, I'm like, "That's misogyny, right?"

C: But like, also, homophobia is misogyny also. It's all together.

G: Everything is terrible, yeah.

C: Yeah. So that's that opening.

G: That's Dean. And now we have Sam.

-

C: We get the splash screen, and it's Sam's turn!

G: [laughing] It's so funny because, like, it's such a weird transition to this splash screen because they play like, a little like, "haha!" funny music after Dean goes out, and then it splashes screen to like, the screaming and the angel wings and whatever.

C: The scariest thing one could be is gay but not.

G: Exactly. Dude, if you're going to be gay, just be gay. [both laugh] If I met Dean Smith in real life, I would say, "Dude, if you're gonna be gay, just be gay." [both laughing]

C: Wait, what's that thing that that girl says in Skam? Like, "It's 2015. No one cares if you're gay anymore. Just come out!" [G laughing] God, what an awful show!

G: [laughing] It's a wonderful show, everybody should watch it! But like, only in 2015. If you're gonna watch it now, don't do it. Like, go back in time to 2015 and watch it then.

C: I mean, it's not bad. It's just also very bad. [G laughing] And also like, terrible, so. [laughs]

It's Sam's turn, he's in this like, crowded office space in a cubicle. Every time it's like, Sam's turn, there's like, a transition shot of like, a printer and then a pencil sharpener going. So Sam's working IT, so, you know. He also has this vampire bobblehead that he keeps tapping with his pencil. He calls himself Sam Wesson, and this is supposed to be a reference to Smith and Wesson.

G: The guns.

C: The gun manufacturing company. Yeah. Crazy.

G: I mean, Winchester is also a gun.

C: Right. Right. Basically, on all his calls that we will see in the future, he just goes like, "Did you try turning it off and then on again?" and that always works, and he's clearly very annoyed with his job. Sam Winchesters will want a normal life and then despise a normal life. [G: Yeah.] There's like, another guy around named Ian, and he's not wearing the uniform. I guess he's like, Sam's friend, and sort of like, meant to be like, a sleazeball character or whatever.

G: He's supposed to be Sam's Dean, I feel like, right now.

C: Hmm. Yeah.

G: The- I was gonna say "the something to Sam's straight man," but like, you know what I mean. [laughs] The gay man to Sam's straight man. [C laughs] But you know what I mean. Like, he's supposed to be like, "Haha!"

C: Yeah, "Haha, he steals office supplies and wants to fuck people, and Sam has to go, 'Nuh-uh!'"

G: And Sam is the annoying killjoy [C laughing] that everyone is mad at because he's so gloomy. [laughing] I love Sam; please don't persecute me!

C: [laughing] I still can't believe that like, two episodes ago, you were like, "I hate how angsty Sam was in Season 1." What? Like, his girlfriend died. [G laughs]

They have a conversation where, like, Ian's like, "What do you think of Mimi? Like, I kinda wanna hit that." And Sam says, "That's totally age-appropriate." And both of us had the same reaction where we're like, [G: "Noo..."] "Oh, fuck! Is she like, a high school intern? What's this?" But then the guy makes it clear that Mimi is, in fact, like, a senior citizen, and that that is Sam's issue.

G: He goes, "There's a MILF there. [C: "There's a MILF there, Sam." I just know it. Maybe even a GMILF." [laughing] He's just like me for real. [C laughing]

C: Were people saying GMILF like, to separate them from like, GPILFs? Like, I've only heard GILF. Good to have this insight into 2009.

G: Sam is always involved with a MILF somewhere. [C laughs]

C: Yeah, somewhere, somehow, there's a place for them.

G: Yeah. Unfortunately, he's MILFtose intolerant, so RIP.

C: [laughs] RIP. So they get up for a coffee break, and they pass by Paul. Ian invites Paul along, but Paul is very focused on his laptop, just typing, typing, says like, "There's absolutely no time for this. I'm working." Ian explains that Paul might be afraid because he got busted for looking at porn on the Internet and got sent to HR about it. So we find out later that Sam has only been here for three weeks.

G: Why are they so close?

C: Do you make friends this fast? Yeah, I mean, I know that I'm like, a weirdo, and like, literally the only one in my job position who eats lunch alone, [G laughs] but like, [laughs] like, do people make friends this fast? Does this happen?

G: Me?

C: Yeah, or just people.

G: Yeah, I do.

C: Oh, congrats! [G laughs] I do not. I just like- they've gotta be buddies for like, months.

G: The thing about me is I do not make friends slow, but I do have like, a quicker turnover. Especially when like, it's work friends. I mean, obviously, with like, friends friends, that's not the case. But like, if we're buddies at like, this kind of setting, it's like, okay, we'll spend one day getting to know each other, and then, like, after three days, I'm like, tired, and I don't want to talk to you. [laughing] So mean!

C: Damb.

G: But yeah. Your complaint is like, "How is he here only three weeks, and he already has a buddy?" And I'm like-

C: "How is he not already sick of this guy?"

G: - "How is he here three weeks, and he still has a buddy? [both laugh] Like, why is it still this guy?"

C: For realsies. I don't know. We've talked about Sam's capacity to make friends in the past, and like, it does seem important to me that, like, he's here and he's like, friends with Ian. They seem to have a rapport with Paul as well. And like, Dean's like, alone in his office. Like, he does have that one guy that he talks to in the montage about Project Runway, I guess, but like, they don't give him like, a friend character.

G: A buddy, yeah.

C: Yeah, but they give Sam a friend character here and in "After School Special." [G: Yeah.] Interesting stuff. I'm sad that Sam's ability- like, Sam, like, is good at making friends, but he's just never [G: In a situation.]- Now, he's never in a scenario where he can make friends the way he's good at making friends. Because Dean views like, his friends as his responsibility. [G: Yeah.] Like, hunting situations where it's life or death, it's probably easier for him to form a connection. But like, Sam just wants casual chitchat that becomes sharing feelings later.

G: Yeah. I keep on saying "buddy" because like, that's that's the vibe. And like, I feel for Sam, like, a lot of his friends are like, his buddies. Like, to like, hang out with in this way.

C: Yeah. His friends come from stability, like, just seeing the same people every day.

G: Yes! That's one. Yeah. I don't know. I think about the fact that, like, with Henriksen, for example, like, Dean and Henriksen were able to connect because it was like, a-

C: They were fighting for their lives.

G: Yeah, it was a fierce and like, intense moment. But every time Sam is like, in an intense moment with someone, I don't think it ever turns into like, a personal connection. It's always like a "I'm trying to do my job. I'm trying to get in here and then out of here."

C: Yeah. He and Eileen only became friends in like, quiet moments. During the actual banshee hunting like, there's not much going on there.

G: Yeah. And also, he wasn't saving Eileen. That's an equal.

C: I'd say Dean and Henriksen were fighting side by side, though.

G: Yes, I suppose that's true. I think I was also like, lumping in Dean's other stuff where he like, in Episode 3, that lady and him, whatever whatever.

C: Do you mean Andrea? Or do you mean in Episode 2 with him and Haley?

G: No, the "Dead in the Water" kid mom. [laughs] The "Dead in the Water" one.

C: Andrea.

G: Yeah, Andrea. The Andrea of Andreaverse.

C: Mm-hm. [laughs]

C: Yeah. And in those cases, like, Dean also has like, a more chummy relationship with the people that they're saving 'cause he is able to have fun in the job. Like, it sounds so stupid, but like, he's able to be like, goofy in the job, while Sam [C: Right, Sam isn't.] is a lot more like, "Let's get in here, and then let's get out of here."

C: Yeah, that makes sense. Yeah, Sam's still trying to maintain some kind of work-life separation, I guess. [laughs]

G: Isn't it so interesting that, like, I don't know, they put them in here- I mean, I'm sure later, we'll talk about the like, capitalist implications of like, "They put them in a corporate setting, and then suddenly, their entire life is in the office." But the thing is like, they keep on telling Dean like, "You're made for this. You're made for this."

C: You could just be a mechanic, bro.

G: But, like, they give him nothing else outside of this office, you know? Like, outside of his pristine apartment, his pristine car, and his pristine office, he has no life. He has no buddies. He hasn't talked to his family. He has no one, and he has like, no hobbies. You know, there's nothing. And with Sam, it's the same thing, too. And obviously, what Zachariah is doing is unfair, but like, it's extra unfair with the fact that he's saying like, "You do not like this life because you do not like this job" when, like, the life and the job is not like, the same thing.  [C: Yeah.] The job is not the life, but like, he insists that it is, "And because you don't like to sit on your ass and take phone calls, then it's over for you."

C: Yeah, like, "There's no other option for you in this world."

G: [laughs] Yeah.

C: Like, there is, in fact.

G: Yeah! Exactly.

C: It's a strange thing, but I don't know. I guess it speaks to what Sera Gamble thinks that the two ways of being alive are. [G laughing]

G: The two ways of being alive is, as we've said, gay employee or straight hunter. [C laughs]

C: You know, Ian steals some office supplies, and Sam's like, "No! Don't do that." Like, come on, Sam.

G: There's also like, you can see at the back of Sam, there's like, a microwave, and on top of it, there's a note that says, "Do not heat your fish here. It stinks. Thank you." And like, I thought this was just like, a passing like, detail, and I was like, "Oh, that's super fun that they have that on top of their microwave. Like, it brings a little life to this place." And then later, it does become kind of relevant because they use it in [C: Yeah, irony.] the gore scene.

C: So Ian asks if Sam had any of those dreams lately. Which okay, we learn later that Dean has a sister. I feel like Sam Wesson is an only child.

G: Of course, yeah.

C: Yeah, like, he really has no one else to tell this to besides his [G laughs] three-week long friend, who is mostly annoying. Ian's being mocking. He's saying that hearing about the dreams is the highlight of his day. "Don't hold out on me." And Sam's like, "Ugh, I never should have told you in the first place. You're just gonna be a dick about it." And the thing is, the dream that he says is not even weird. Like, if someone told me they had that dream- I mean, if someone in my world told me they had that dream, I'd be like, "Watching a little too much Supernatural, are we?" [G laughs] But like, if there was no Supernatural, I'd just be like, "Yeah, okay."

G: Nice one, dude. Yeah. [C: Yeah.] Are you thinking of making that into a book? [laughing] If not, I think you should just forget about it completely. But go on. [C laughs]

C: Yeah, but apparently, Ian thinks that this is like, absolutely hilarious that Sam dreamt that he saved a grim reaper named Tessa from demons. Ian's just laughing his ass off at this pretty normal dream and is going like, "How much DnD did you play when you were a kid?" Ugh. If we were people who knew things more, we could have the discussion about like, what Sam plays as in DnD, but I only play non-DnD TTRPGs, and you think that playing DnD [G laughs] is a very funny, laughable, perhaps even piteous thing to do, [G laughing] as immortalized in the title for our "Red Sky at Morning" episode.

G: Well.

C: So, I mean, just going off of my like, zero knowledge, I think that paladin seems like the most obvious choice, but I think it's just because I don't know other classes well enough. But yeah.

G: I mean, the only thing I know about DnD is I think Danica told me like, "It's a pity you don't play DnD 'cause you like to do the voices." [G laughs] [C: That's true.] So now I know that you do voices in that thing. [laughing] Except you don't, 'cause you're a loser, even within the loser circle. [both laughing]

C: Yeah, that part is true. [G laughing] I have no arguments against that.

G: You have no protestations. Yeah.

C: Okay, Sam starts having like, a bunch of flashbacks of things that happened in Supernatural of him fighting and things. And then it ends with Dean killing a vampire.

-

G: So we're back at the elevator, and this time, there's like, a couple other people with Sam and Dean. And then when the people head out, Sam and Dean are left, and I feel like Sam is like, trying to not look at Dean, and Dean is like, "Please don't look at me," [C laughs] like, that's the vibe of the scene. And then finally, Sam is just like, "Um. Hi. Can I ask you a question?" And then, Dean's like, as I've said earlier, like, "Look, man. I told you I'm not into the-" blah blah blah. And Sam's like, "Oh, dude! Come on, I'm not either." [laughing] He's so funny.

C: That's a lie. He's lying to us. [G laughs]

G: And he just goes, "I just wanna ask you one question. What do you think about ghosts?" Dean is just like, "I don't know what you're on about, but I've not given it much thought." And Sam starts asking about vampires. And then he's like, "I've been having some weird dreams lately. [C laughs] You know what I mean?" And Dean's like, "No." [laughs] And Sam's like, "So you've never had any... weird dreams?" And then Dean's like, "Fuck off!" and then he leaves. [laughs] He goes like, "You know, you're an oversharer," and then he leaves.

C: Yeah. I do think it's unfortunate that they're throwing bones to the Wincesties this episode. Ugh. They do the same thing in "The French Mistake," is the thing. If this was just a one-off, I'd be like, "Fine." But it seems like every time you put them in a new scenario, they're like, "But what if it was gay? But it wasn't. But what if it was? But it wasn't. What if it was incest? But it wasn't." You know? [laughs]

G: Yeah. It is still so wild to me that in fucking "Fan Fiction," Episode 10- Season 10. I don't know. I forgot. Oh, 10.05. Like, they do a bit where they talk about incest, and then they do a bit where they talk about Destiel, and Jensen Ackles does the camera- the breaking the fourth wall camera look at the "Destiel." [C laughs] And like, we just talked about incest! [both laughing] Like, what's going on in this thing? Like, if this is homophobia, the incest is also gay. [both laughing] Like, what's happening?

C: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Being gay is only okay if you're related, guys. [G laughing] That's what Jensen Ackles. He said this to me in my dreams.

G: [laughing] Supernatural is such an odd, odd show. But yeah.

C: I think for some reason, they're like, "The Wincest fans are like, the real fans. They've been with us since the beginning, so we don't wanna alienate them. But like, the Destiel fans are casuals, so we don't care if we alienate them." That's like, sort of how it feels a lot of the time.

G: Yeah, I suppose. When I watch Supernatural, like, I do tend to just go, "And that's just not something I'm going to think about [C: Yeah.] throughout this journey of watching Supernatural." [C: Yeah.] Which, now that you've pointed it out, I'm like, I remembered. [C laughs] Like, people will listen to this and be like, "Haha!"

C: "And they're not technically related in this one!"

G: I do think it's massively unfortunate, because- like, I'll talk about it in a scene later, but like, I did start crying in this episode [C: Oh!] because I was like, [emotional] "And they're literally brothers, and they're like, literally siblings!" and blah blah blah. [laughs] [C: Yeah.] And like, I don't know. Like, sometimes I forget that Sam and Dean are like- they're family. [C: Mm.] And like, that actually does mean something. Like, that's not just a word that- Because Supernatural does throw the word "family"-

C: #SPNFamily!

G: Yeah, like, they throw it around so much that a lot of times, it loses its meaning. And this is like, the first time in a long time that I am able to look at Sam and Dean and go, "They are siblings, and that means something to them and to me." And so now that I'm like, "Oh, yeah. And people think this is an incest thing," [C laughs] I am like, "Agh! Come on!" Because it's such a good like, episode in terms of like, their family relationship, and I just think it's unfortunate that, you know, people look at that and then turn it into that.

C: Yeah. And that Sera Gamble looks at that and is like, "I wanna give those people something."

G: "Let's cater to it, baby!"

C: Ugh. I wish this was more of a Sam episode. He's so main character-coded here! We haven't had him having like, prophetic dreams in so long [G: I know!], and now, like, it's back, baby! He's having visions. He's asking off-putting questions in the elevator. Like, he's so YA protag.

G: [laughs] Exactly. But he's not gay enough. The thing is like, with Dean, they can do this like, "Ah-ha, we're emasculating him, he's doing gay shit. It's funny, isn't it?" But I think the moment they do it with Sam, they're like, "Okay, that's not actually funny." Like, I think they realize that it's not funny when they do it to Sam. [C: Huh.] Because Sam is like, fine with that shit. [C: Right.] Imagine this episode, but it's a- They switch roles. Sam is the corporate guy, drinking rice milk coffee, and talking about Project Runway and diet cleanse.

C: Yeah, I'd just be like, "Good for him."

G: And it's like, "Damn. He's living his life. [laughs] Like, okay!"

C: "This is what he wants. Good."

G: Yeah. [laughs] Like, they realize that like, "Actually, that's a completely fine way to be a man. Okay." And so like, they need to do it to Dean.

C: Yeah. They had Dean go to Stanford. [G laughs] The lesson of this episode is that going to Stanford makes you gay. And like, it does. [G laughs]

G: They literally said, "And Dean Winchester, you will live your life as if you were Sam, and that automatically makes you gay." [both laughing] Like, okay. So what does this say about Sam Winchester? Have we thought about that?

C: Well, apparently, he's "not either." So.

-

G: So Sam is back in his cubicle. He is still doing the customer service thing. But now, he DGAF about it. He really is just on the phone saying his usual script while he's drawing vampires. [C: Yeah.] And also, I mean, first of all, the drawings? Beautiful.

C: Yeah, no, wait. So why is Sam Wesson so good at drawing when we have seen Sam's fucking sketch artist attempt in "Bedtime Stories"?

G: No, but the thing is, we've seen Sam draw a tree, and that was a nice tree. Pretty decent. [C: That's true.] So like, [C: He can only draw things from his dreams really well.] is Sam only capable of drawing nice things from his dreams? But if it's a man in front of him going, "And he has a Wile E. Coyote tattoo," [C laughs] he's like, "I'm lost. I don't know what that is. I don't know what an arm is, even."

C: Yeah. He's so Tenth Doctor during "Family of Blood"-coded.

G: While he is doing this, he goes up to his computer, goes to the website- [laughs] wait, I'm going to actually go to that scene so I can see what the fuck that website is. [C laughs]

C: Yeah, this is a Twilight reference, right?

G: Yeah. He is in Search the Web, and he is searching the web for "vampire."

C: He capitalizes vampire [G laughing] in his search, which is so important to me.

G: Sam is typing vampire, capital V, in Search the Web [C laughs], and like, a bunch of results come out. And it's literally just like, "all about vampires," "history of vampires," "what's a vampire?" [both laughing] Like, he saw them in his head, you know? Like, he knows the specific type of vampire that he needs to look for. He knows that shit doesn't look like Dracula. [C: Yeah.] So like, just look up. And also, honestly, if I was Sam Winchester, and I had no prior knowledge to supernatural creatures and what they look like in the Supernatural universe whatsoever, and I see, like, just some guy with fangs, I'll be like, "I don't know what that is. Probably not a vampire, though." [both laugh]

C: That's true. Because those guys don't look like Draculas, so like.

G: They don't go "blah-blah blah-blah" or whatever that fucking Hotel Transylvania vampire says. [C laughs] I've watched that movie so many times.

C: He said, "Jonathan, you are fucking my daughter." [G laughs]

G: Yeah. You better be. [laughing] Is that the one?

C: It has "yeas" in it, right?

G: No, I think that's the girl one, the one that's like, "Are you lesbian?" "You better be!"

C: Yeah, "You better be!" is part of the girl one. It has "yeas" in it.

G: [laughs] We will just say anything in this podcast. [C laughs]

There's literally one that's like, "Forum: are goths vampires?" which is so funny to me. [C laughs] 'Cause they literally did like, gothify the vampires in like, the first episode where they have vampires in this show.

C: True.

G: Sam just keeps on looking around, looking around. He hears like, a little distressed noise coming from Paul's cubicle. He stands up and like, looks over and like, is like, "Hey, what happened to you?" And Paul's like, "My screen is just frozen. My entire day's work is just completely gone." And Sam's like, trying to be like, "Well, did you back it up?" And like, I know that this is supposed to be like, "And Paul is being so short with Sam right now. Like, he's really pissed, and he's being like, very annoyed at Sam questioning him like this when it's a completely reasonable question." But honestly, if somebody asked me that, I was like, "Fuck you!" Like, "You think you know better than me? [C laughs] Is it your data that was lost, you fucking asshole?"

C: "You'd think if I had backed it up, I wouldn't be screaming and crying right now. Obviously."

G: Yeah. Like, "Fuck you, dude!"

C: Also, earlier, Ian got an email to be called up to HR.

G: Oh, yeah. Paul stays behind in the office, and he is just entering like, a code into the computer again and again and again. But yeah, there are no files found. And he just goes, "All that work gone. Failed." And there's like, something that possesses him. Not literally, but like, you know, cold air, blah blah blah! And then he gets up, walks out, and there you have it. He sticks his head into the microwave.

C: The kills this episode are pretty fun.

G: It's pretty good!

C: They're, I'd say, a bit grislier than like, at least the most recent Supernatural episodes so far. But like, they're all like, quite creative. I enjoy them. We get to see the electricity zapping along his forehead a bit, and there's like, little spots of blood that form before. And then we like, fully see, Ian's bleeding out.

G: Yeah, that was crazy. That was crazy.

C: Yeah. Yeah.

G: You know what's funny is like, I have that fear of like, the elevator cutting me in half.

C: Oh, the elevator scene. Yes, that was fun. Uh-huh.

G: And I don't know where I got it from. [C: Maybe here?] And now I know. No, have I told you that I also have the fear of like, being beheaded by the fucking trunk of the car?

C: Yeah, the trunk of the car, because of Supernatural. Uh-huh.

G: [laughs] I will have deep-rooted fears in life, and I'll be like, "I think I just got that from nowhere," and then I watch an episode of Supernatural, and I'm like, "Nope, I got it from Supernatural."

C: That you did. We cut to the next day, and, you know, people are taking Paul's body out, and Sam and Dean are both watching this happen, and they look at each other briefly. And Dean's like, "Something about this doesn't seem right" to like, a fellow coworker. So he goes back to his office, and he starts looking at the file for Paul. I guess Easter egg is that it says his manager is Mary Ann Liu. Hi, Mary Ann Liu!

G: Hi, Mary Ann Liu! Yeah!

C: Is Mary Ann Liu also one of Sam's phone contacts?

G: Yeah, I think, like, back in the day.

C: Uh-huh. I'd like to believe they're the same people. It says that Paul has a retirement party scheduled for two weeks out, and Dean's like, "Huh." Meanwhile, at the IT place, Sam is talking to Ian about the same thing. He goes, "Why would someone kill themselves two weeks before they were supposed to retire? Like, he was two weeks from freedom. He should have been happy, right?" Which, like, honestly, retiring is a big life thing. It's possible that-

G: You just get stressed out, yeah. You don't have enough savings.

C: Yeah, "I don't have anything to do, I don't have the savings that I need, I don't know what my purpose in life will be, because, like, it's been worn away by this IT job for so many years." Like, I get it.

G: Yeah. And like, I think this one really reiterates what I was saying earlier that like, Sam's like, when you're working, your only life is your job. And then like, [laughs] because that's like, you know, the point of the episode. And here, Sam is like, "But he should be done being miserable, 'cause he's getting out of the miserable job."

C: Yeah, "And he has freedom now."

G: Well, can we infer something about Sam's- like, Sam Sam's psychology from that one? [C: Yeah.] That he- I mean, for a long time, he did think of hunting as like, "And after this is over, I can go back to my normal life."

C: And that's sort of stopped being a possibility.

G: Yeah, but it is what he does kinda, in Supernatural.

C: In Season 8?

G: [laughing] In Season 15.

C: His son has a fucking anti-possession tattoo on. Aren't we supposed to think that they're both still hunting on the side?

G: That he's a hunter? I don't think so.

C: Oh, that's good.

G: I think he just got divorced with his wife. [both laugh] I mean, everybody has pointed to hell and back that [C: She's not there.] his wife is in none of the family pictures. To him, he's like, "Oh, I can protect my family like, this entire time. It's fine." [laughing] And then they get divorced, and the wife gets the kid in the divorce, and he's like, "Oh, shit! Now I have to give him a fucking tattoo because I won't be in the house protecting them." [C laughs] Well, unfortunate.

C: Yeah. What did Sam say the last time they had a conversation about retiring? 'Cause they have had one like, not that far away.

G: I think, Sam said, like, "That's just not an option for me anymore" or something. [C: Does he?] "That's past me."

C: Right. The important thing about Ian now is that he's actually wearing the uniform now, and in the past, he never did. And he won't engage with Sam in this conversation. He says he doesn't have time for this, he's working, it's important. Ian just ignores him and then gets called up to floor 22 to speak to a manager, and this manager is Dean Smith. You know, Dean just tells Ian, "Hey, like, yesterday you filled out this form, but there are a few errors, so I'm just going to walk you through this," and Ian starts freaking out. He's like, "Oh no, oh no, oh my god! Like, I can't believe I did this! I can't believe I did this!" And Dean's like, "Hey, it's fine. I can just like, help you refile this." And Ian's like, "No! It affected profits! [G laughs] I failed Sandover! I failed the company! How could I do this?" Incredibly funny! Sorry that he is going to kill himself about this.

G: The thing is like, I didn't remember who the ghost was this episode, and I saw this scene, and I was like, "Damn, who's fucking haunting these people? [C laughs] Like, the ghost of corporate past?" And [laughing] then like, literally. The ghost of corporate past is hunting these fucking people.

C: Ian runs out of the room and Dean follows him to the bathroom. Ian's still freaking out, and then there's like, a brief moment of cold air, and then all the faucets and all the soap dispensers come on.

G: This is a really fun visual.

C: The soap is like, a dark pink, so it like, sorta looks like blood, and it's like, pooling and spilling onto the ground. [G: Yeah.] It's very neat.

G: 'Cause the thing is like, it's pink. [C: It's Danganronpa blood.] So it's like, when it starts falling, you barely even register that that's the visual it was doing. And then it starts pooling, and it's like, "Oh, that's good. That's good! That's good." Mary Ann Liu [said as lee-yoo] slayed with this one, unless it's not Mary Ann Liu, [C laughs] and also, her name isn't Mary Ann Liu. Am I saying that right? Is it Mary Ann Liu?

C: Uh, Mary Ann Liu. [said lee-YO]

G: Liu. [C: Liu.] Slay. Slay.

C: Though, I mean, okay, all of the faucets and all the soap dispensers come on. I think it would be more fun if it was just like, one by one, as like, the ghost passes and triggers the motion sensors. But like, that's not what's happening. The ghost is just turning them all on for fun. Ian pulls a pencil out of his pocket and then stabs himself in the neck, and blood spurts out, and he falls to the ground, and he's bleeding so much, and Dean sees the ghost in the mirror, but there's no one in the room. And Dean's like, freaking out. And then, like, Ian, he makes a sound on the floor, so Dean realizes that he's still alive, and then he calls for help. [G: Yeah.] Pencil neck stab, pretty neat. I feel like an actual pencil would break if you tried that, though, but I don't know. I'm not testing it.

G: I'm not testing it either, but like, those things are shockingly sharp.

C: Well, that was probably Sam's only friend. [G laughs] Sorry, Sam. [G laughing] He'll make a new one. He's good at that in this setting.

G: Exactly.

-

G: We're outside. Dean's being investigated or whatever. He's giving his like, statement to the police officer. And like, while all this is happening, Sam, like, passes by and they catch each other's eyes, and it kind of like, sets Dean aback.

C: I wish Sam had more of a reaction to the fact that it is Ian specifically.

G: Yeah. He DGAF. He never mentions Ian again. No mention of anything.

C: That was his best friend, and he really did just let him go.

G: Yeah. [laughs] "'Cause it was easier," period. [both laughing] There's nothing else.

He's back in his cubicle. Totally unfazed. None of his actions betray that he is affected by this whatsoever.

C: He has even less energy than he usually does, but yeah, not much there.

G: He picks up the ringing phone, and yeah, it's Dean telling him, "Come to my office."

C: They make a point to show that he's rebuttoning his shirt.

G: Yeah. [laughing] I did find that pretty funny. Why?

C: Like, what was that? Okay, the point is he's changing his clothes because he got blood all over them from Ian, right, so it's the same day. But like, it's still like, "Okay, is this like, the world's tamest fanservice? Like, congrats, I guess." By rebuttoning the shirt, I mean, like, 3 buttons. Like, you're not seeing anything.

G: Yeah. Sam shows up, and Dean asks, like, "Who the hell are you?" And Sam says, "I'm not sure I know," [C: Hell yeah, baby!] which is fascinating.

C: He's so main character-coded! I love him!

G: Yeah, I know. Yeah. He says, "I'm Sam Wesson, and I started here three weeks ago." Dean also did.

C: So what was Cas doing during these three weeks when his boss was like, "I'm putting your favorite little guy into a fun little hamster wheel to watch him spin."?

G: I don't know. He was like, "He seems a bit sad. [laughing] Maybe we should put Sam in there also." [C laughs] [C: For enrichment.] He recommended he put Sam in there also, yeah.

C: Yeah, though, I mean, if Cas suggested that they put Sam in there, I think he's still on the "Make Sam stop doing demon blood shit" agenda. So like, I feel like we could have gotten more. 'Cause this episode should have been about like, giving Dean the worst corporate job ever, and giving Sam the best corporate job ever [laughing] so that Dean leaves, but Sam doesn't. [G laughs]

G: But like, you have to remember that Zachariah knows.

C: Oh, about the full plan, including the Lucifer vessel. [G: Yeah.] We're to presume. Or do we know that because he traps Dean in the green room later? I have no clue what that is, but like-

G: I'm not sure if actually, he knows what the full plan is. But like, he knows that they need to keep Dean in that room and let Sam do his thing. [C: Mm-hm.]  And like, I mean Cas knew that "Lilith is the final seal. Sam kills Lilith, the end begins," or whatever that line is.

C: When was he told this?

G: Who? Dean?

C: When was Cas told this? Isn't he like, pro-killing Lilith?

G: He was told in 4.20.

C: Right, he let Sam out of the panic room, right? In "When the Levee Breaks" or something?

G: Yeah.

C: Whatever, we'll get to it when we get to it.

G: No, but like, he was gonna tell Dean, right? Like, he shows up in Dean's dream in 4.20, [C: That's true.] and that's why he gets booted up back in Heaven, and, you know. Dean says something about that. A line.

C: I'm really curious about how long Cas has known. Because the whole like, "They don't tell me much. I just know that our fate rests with you." Like, I think that's genuine. I think he doesn't know Michael vessel stuff in 4.16.

G: I do genuinely think it was 4.20. Like, the moment he knew, he was like, "I need to tell Dean." [C: Oh. Aww.] And then they booted his ass back up into Heaven.

C: Maybe Destiel is real.

G: I told you. [C laughs] I have been telling you.

C: Sam was just put in because Dean needed a push. I think that's all it was. Yeah. As we already said, like, they knew, like, Sam would actually want to get back to the hunting life, given where he is right now, and they don't need to convince him of anything. So he's just there to be a manic pixie dream girl type.

G: They start talking about the ghost. Yeah, at some point Sam goes, "Oh, you really saw the ghost, didn't you? I mean all these suicides, what if they aren't suicides? I mean, what if they're... something not natural?" [C laughing] I love it. I love it.

C: Yeah, I did chuckle at this.

G: Did a bit of a giggle, yeah. [C: Yeah.] They start like, talking in earnest of like, "What's going on?" And Sam is like, "Yeah, I was dreaming about ghosts, and then suddenly, there's a real ghost. What does that mean?" And Dean asked like, "Oh, so like, you have special visions? You're some kind of psychic?" [C laughs] And I love that even in this universe where Dean doesn't know the implications of that, and like, doesn't think of monsters, blah blah blah, you know, like, doesn't have the weave of information he has in, like, his usual life with his usual memories, [laughing] he's still so fucking judgemental about the psychic situation. [C: Yeah.] Like, I love it. I think it's so funny

C: Yeah.

G: And Sam, apparently, has been doing research, and the research is he hacked into these two guys' emails. He saw that they both received an email from HR telling them to go to Room 1444. So that's 1444, which is, you know, in feng sh- How do you pronounce that? I still have no idea how to pronounce-

C: Feng shui? [fung shway]

G: Feng shui. In feng shui, that's bad. That's bad. It's a bad floor, and that's a bad room number. Let's kick the door down, baby! No, [laughs] Sam literally does kick the door down. They go to the room- No, they have like, a little conversation first, where they were like, "Oh, should we do it?" And then Dean was like, "Oh, you're right, like, it's a bit too late. I shouldn't bother you" or something. And Sam just looks at him and goes, "I'm dying to check this out." And Dean's like, "Okay, let's go. Hell yeah!" And then they do. Sam kicks down the door.

C: Hey, quick question. So the ghost was sending emails? [G laughing] That guy?

G: This guy was like, "I'm the ghost of corporate past, but you know what? There's like, you know, technological upgrades, we need to, you know, to strive as a company. We need to change with the times."

C: Adjust for the modern era.

G: Exactly. Before they enter, we see like, a guy who's just there.

C: Yeah, who got called in.

G: As Sam barges into the door, they fight off this guy, and eventually, Dean gets a hold of a pipe or whatever.

C: A wrench?

G: He gets a hold of a wrench, and then he swipes it over the ghost of corporate past. [laughs] I need to stop calling this "ghost of corporate past." He literally is, though. Like, he looks like it, too. He looks like Scrooge McDuck.

C: Yeah. Yeah. He's got that oil baron vibe.

G: [laughing] I need to- What is the real name of Scrooge? 'Cause I cannot keep on calling it "Scrooge McDuck" in my head.

C: No, that is his name.

G: [laughing] His name in real life is Scrooge McDuck? [laughing]

C: [laughing] Wait, do you mean the- [laughing] the Ducktales Scrooge or the Christmas Carol Scrooge?

G: [laughing] Yeah. What's his name?

C: In A Christmas Carol?

G: [laughing] Yeah.

C: Scrooge is his last name. His first name is Ebenezer.

G: [laughing] It's like- why wouldn't you just call him "Scrooge McDuck the person"? Well, he literally does look like Scrooge McDuck the person. For fucking real.

-

C: I don't know. Dean doesn't want to drink a beer and got rid of all the carbs in his house. We're doing the same thing again. Wait, did we skip the salad? When did he eat the salad? Does it even matter that he ate a salad? [laughs] Probably not.

G: Well, he ate a salad. Let's say it here. At some point, he eats a salad. I do think it's interesting that the way they shoot that scene is like, focused on his lips chewing and then focused on his eyes that are like, dead empty. And it's like, so you're telling us that like, eating veggies is like, not fulfilling? What's the point?

C: Yeah, that is what they're saying.

G: I mean, I do understand that like, that's what they're saying, and then combining it with the juice cleanse is also saying something about diet culture. But like, the bigger context of the episode is just [C laughs] "It's unsatisfying to be a homo." Like- [both laughing]

C: He doesn't even go to the health club.

G: Exactly. They couldn't let him go to the health club, 'cause if he went to the health club he would be like, "It is satisfying to be a homo." [laughing]

C: Yeah, he wouldn't go back to being a hunter.

G: Yeah, he would continue being a gay employee.

C: Though [laughing] I do think that he wouldn't be that into casual sex.

G: [laughs] I'm right? I'm right?

C: They're talking. They seem to have had a good time on that hunt. Dean says, "Good job kicking down that door. That was very Jet Li." Slay, I guess. Also-

G: They're both complimenting each other. Like, they both cannot believe that the other is good at this.

C: "Oh my god," and like, "Yeah, we're really good at this."

G: It's not even like, a "Oh my god, you're great!" It's like a "Why are you great? [laughs] Like, what's wrong?" That's so funny to me.

C: I mean, every day, they've gotten dressed, and they've looked at their giant, bulging muscles in their fucking officewear, and they didn't think about it at all, so I guess this is their thinking about it.

Sam starts basically saying what I think are probably Taylor Swift lyrics where he says, "I just can't shake this feeling, like, I don't belong here." And later he says that, like, he hates this town or whatever. I'm pretty sure she says that shit.

G: [laughing] No, that's so funny that you say this is Taylor Swift lyrics, because this line specifically: "Look, it's more than that. I don't like my job. I don't like this town. I don't like my clothes. I don't like my own last name."

C: Oh, is that Bruce Springsteen?

G: It's literally "Dancing in the Dark" Bruce Springsteen. Like, "I wanna change my clothes, my hair, my face. I ain't getting nowhere, just living in a dump like this." [both laugh] Like, he's so Bruce Springsteen "Dancing in the Dark"-core.

C: Well, good for him.

G: He says, "It feels like I should be doing something else." Well, as Bruce Springsteen said, "There's something happening somewhere. Baby, I just know that there is." [C laughs]

C: And then he says, "There's just something in my blood. [G: Ooh! Fun.] Like, I was destined for something different." Fun stuff! [G: Fun stuff.] And Dean says that he doesn't believe in destiny, just in dealing with what's right in front of us. And is that also their attitudes about the Apocalypse? I guess it's Dean's attitude about 4.07 Like, "I don't care about the seal. I care about this town. These people are real." So yeah. And then Dean says, "We do what I do best, Sammy. Research." You're not the loreboy. Don't claim that.

G: Exactly.

G: And they do a sort of tortured thing where Sam's like, "Did you just call me Sammy?" And it goes on for way too long.

Dean does research-

G: And I actually really love this scene.

C: I love it. I did not expect the Ghostfacers to be back, and they are! And it's wonderful! [G laughs]

G: They're back, and they literally are doing a step-by-step "how to kill a ghost" like, vlog, basically.

C: It's great. [G: It's great.] 'Cause, like, they know now. They learned.

G: Yeah. And their info is right.

C: Mm-hm. It's wonderful. [G: Yeah!] So like, the humor is that Dean thinks that these guys are like, great. [G: Super cool, yeah.] Like, not losers. [G: For real, yeah.] Like, "Look. These are like, for real, actual ghost hunters. Like, look at this!" And it's a video of Ed and Harry of Ghostfacers fame, you know, doing their bits, saying that they know how to solve your ghost issue. We sort of intersperse their advice with what Sam and Dean do. So like, first, it's like, figure out what you're up against. And Sam has found an article about the death of the founder of Sandover, who died in 1916, and was very devoted to his work. Sam says, "No wife, no kids." Which, is that what we're supposed to think about Dean and the "you get to fornicate with women" line from Zachariah later?

G: Maybe?

C: He can't fuck because he's too busy working?

G: I mean, he also has no wife and kids, like, in the hunter world. [laughs] Like-

C: Yeah. That's true. That's true. Well, maybe this guy was just aromantic. Diversity win! This, like, capitalist shill is aromantic. [G laughs]

G: Exactly.

C: But yeah. So that's him. And they used to say that he was the company, and his very blood pumped through the building.

G: That's so disgusting.

C: Which we don't get later. I was so ready for, like, actual bits of his blood to be in the walls of the building, because, like, it says that he oversees all the construction of, like, all his projects, right? So like, maybe he got like, injured during construction, and then some of his blood got trapped inside the walls. But no, they're just saying this as a figure of speech. Boo!

G: They need to remove the mortar.

C: Everyone read Thirteen Storeys by Jonny Sims. What did you say?

G: They need to remove like, a load-bearing- [C laughs] What do you call that? The like, fucking beam or something.

C: I know what you mean. Like, a beam or something?

G: [laughs] Yeah, they need to remove the like, foundational post and make the entire building fall to pieces to kill this ghost.

C: So so true. And apparently, the last time people started killing themselves a bunch in the building was in 1929. There was 17 suicides. [laughing] And this is when they're like, "Oh, he wakes up during times of economic downturn! [G laughing] And the worst time we've seen during the Great Depression is now during the housing crisis."

G: Lovely.

C: It's really funny. [laughs] I mean, I'm sure it felt realer during the time, just like saying that demon did 9/11 [G laughs] while they posed as Homeland Security, which was also new at the time, felt realer at the time. And I understand that like, this was like, quite bad, and like, real people, were affected by this. [G: Yeah.] But it's just a very- it's a silly thing, because Supernatural doesn't usually engage with like, current events in this way.

G: Yeah. It is fascinating, 'cause, like, you know, Sam and Dean are like, working class in Supernatural. And it's like- because Supernatural does not interact with like, politics at all.

C: Yeah, the market economy as is.

G: Like, the current economic whatever whatever of the United States, [laughing] this is like, our first division of the economy, I think. [C: Yup, it really is.] And it's like, during a situation where they are in a position- I mean, Dean is in a position to care 'cause his portfolio's in the sewers. [C laughs] [C: Yeah.] I don't know. Is that something? Are they saying something with that? That like, [laughing] if you're working class, whatever whatever?

C: Oh, like, since they're already living outside of the like, market economy, they aren't affected by these things. Meanwhile, all these cuck office workers, like, as long as something bad happens in the government, there goes all their money? I don't know. [laughs] I think the idea is just that they'd be grateful for the job stability that they have here, so it would make it harder for them to leave? Or like, that's something that's affecting Dean?

G: I mean, specifically, I think what's happening is that Supernatural just purports to be like, a for-all-Americans show. [laughs] And so they don't want to get into the politics of anything. [C: Yeah.] Which is fascinating because the show is intensely, like, intensely political in its implications. But okay.

C: Yeah, I do always get so stuck on the fact that Cas didn't kill that guy because he was a homophobe. He killed him because he was homophobic and gay.

G: What are you talking about?

C: He says "I can't stand hypocrites." [G: Oh, yeah!] Like, Godstiel. [G laughs] The point is that the guy says that being gay is a sin, and then he has secret gay sex. It's not because he's a homophobe. It's because he's lying to his congregation. That's why he gets killed. Like, they wouldn't even say that it's bad to be homophobic.

G: [laughing] I thought you were talking about the "Gimme Shelter" kid [C laughs] who got killed like, in a hate crime for being gay. [C laughing] I was like, "What do you mean? [laughing] What do you mean?" Well, yeah.

C: Yeah. Supernatural will not take a stance on anything, except it takes stances every second that it exists, unknowingly.

Right. So Sandover's trying to help the company by [G: Kicking out the employees.], you know, getting the employees that aren't very good and then making them into model employees. Bro, like, the turnover that you're creating. I feel like it's more expensive for the company to hire somebody new. Like, you could just fire them if you think they're not good. Also, like, if they're still like, they have to pay out the life insurance, which- I mean, yeah. Anyway.

G: What is the regularization like, status in the United States?

C: The regularization of what?

G: Like, if I say- of jobs. Like, when are you regularized?

C: What's regularized?

G: It's when you start getting benefits.

C: I mean, I think it differs company to company, but for me, it was as soon as I started.

G: Oh! Okay.

C: I think, okay, I think we signed up, so it took like, a month or so.

G: Yeah, here, you get your benefits after 6 months. For like, call center, what Sam's doing right now, that job that I applied to, I was gonna get regularized after 6 months. [C: Got it.] And that is if you're not a contractual worker. The joke I was gonna make is, "I don't know. Maybe those guys are regularized." [C laughs]

C: Yeah Maybe so.

G: Maybe they aren't. I mean, Paul is definitely regularized.

C: Yeah, he was two weeks from retirement.

G: Yeah. Ian, probably a new kid. Yeah. Wants to fuck the GMILF, even. [C: Yeah.] And he didn't even get to fuck that GMILF. So sad.

C: I think he could have in the time in between. Like, there was a day that passed. Two days, maybe.

G: Yeah. His swagger was so strong, he was able to do it in a day.

C: Yeah. And Sam also finds the fourteenth floor, and specifically the room 1444, was where Sandover's office was. The Ghostfacers then explain how salt is like, burny acid to ghosts, and iron also helps repel them. And also explains that "We learned this trick from those useless douchebags that we hate. The Winchesters." So like, Zachariah does say later that, like, this is their world. He just like, erased Sam and Dean's memories and then put them in a real company.

G: Yeah, so this is literally just in the ether. Yeah, this is just like, in the internet for real.

C: Yeah. And if either of them looked up "Sam Winchester" or "Dean Winchester," then they would get like, the FBI's Most Wanted thing. So that's why their last names are changed.

G: With Chuck, it's the Winchester Gospel, right? But he doesn't say Winchester in the book.

C: Oh, yeah, he uses a different name so that people don't think he's writing serial killer fanfiction.

G: [laughing] That's so funny. Imagine you're like, on the internet, and you watch like, a news TV show, and it's like, serial killers Sam and Dean Winchester. [laughing] And then you find this book, and it's like, "Sam and Dean Winchester," and there's like, an extended portion of Dean Winchester making lovey-dovey eyes with an angel, and it's like, "What is this serial killer? They made an OC who's an angel? Like, what is going on?" [C laughing] [C: Yeah.] They literally did that in Supernatural with Colette, though. [laughing] Like, for rela.

C: They did. They did. [G: Yeah.] And Sam and Dean are both like, "Well, we can't get a gun, so." Finally, Ed and Harry talk about how you have to burn the remains. I guess you don't have to salt and burn them, because Sam did not salt those gloves. The salt was just for fun?

G: Yeah, I don't know. I mean, we talked constantly in the past like, "What does the salt do? Is it like a-"

C: Apparently nothing.

G: Apparently nothing. Apparently, it does nothing. You don't even need to put gas on that thing. [C laughs] It'll just burn like it has a gas on it, even.

C: Yeah. And then they also say that sometimes, you have to dig up the body. But Sandover was cremated. And then Ed and Harry say like, "If the deceased was cremated, then you should just look for some other like, genetic material that's hanging around." And that's the end of the episode. Of the fucking Ghostfacers episode.

G: Yeah. I do love that like, Harry and Ed are like, obviously very annoying people. But like, this is like, actually useful stuff. It's actually useful.

C: Yeah, this is probably better than anything Sam or Dean have done so far.

G: Yeah! This is like, actually helping people in a way where they can do it themselves. 'Cause like, there's not always gonna be a hunter around. [C: Mm-hm.] I mean, hunters only come to a place where people have already died 'cause that's how they know that there's something there, 'cause people have already died.

C: Yeah, but like, if you're just having cold air in your house-

G: If you're the first guy, you're like, "Okay, what do I do?" And you look it up, and Harry and Ed are here to help you.

C: Yeah, 'cause Dean found them- like, it didn't take too long. So they're doing a decent job at being high in the search results.

G: Also, like, I don't know. I mean, we've talked about this. Like, who is Sam and Dean protecting by hiding this from the world?

C: Exactly.

G: And it's like, you're protecting the people who will not be affected by it so that they can sleep better at night. But the people who will be affected by it, who will be attacked by ghosts-

C: Die because of that.

G: - will die. And it's like, "Okay, but how are we weighing those things?" And apparently, to Sam and Dean, very heavily on the side of the people who will just not be affected by death.

C: I'm still so stuck on how that guy in "Sex and Violence" declared his specific intent [G: "I'm gonna kill myself," yeah.] to kill himself for killing his wife, and they find out it's a siren, and they don't go back and tell him or anything. They just skip town. And like, we know that that guy's gonna kill himself. And if they had told him, maybe- like, it'd be difficult to believe, but if they had some kind of evidence, then, like, I don't know. Like, it's worth giving it a shot, but they were like, "We don't give a fuck," and then they go.

G: And also, they got sirened, so they know what it feels like. They know what it does to your mind. I feel like they can, you know, convey to that guy well enough that like, "I know how you felt 'cause that's exactly how I felt, and I know, because I actually did feel it."

C: Yeah. But apparently having people sleep easier at night is more important. I'm sure some hunters hide it because they want to feel useful. They're like, "If the government knows about this, then I don't have a job anymore, and then I have to confront the fact that I have no life." [G laughs]

G: They will militarize the hunters, yeah.

C: Yeah, I mean, hunters do see themselves as the meme image of the soldier [G laughs] [G: Yeah.] holding his hands out over a sleeping child's bed, while like, bloody knives stab him.

Thank you, Ed and Harry. I know they're mostly just doing this because they want a movie deal or whatever. But like, you know what? Like, good. Good. You should get a movie deal. [laughs] Like, more people should know.

G: Exactly.

-

G: Well, Sam and Dean are back in Sandover Iron and Co. whatever, and they say that like, "We should make our cell phones into walkie talkies in case we get separated," which is so fun. That's so fun! [C: It is.] Can you still do that in a modern phone? I don't think so.

C: I don't think so.

G: But like, how does it work? Like, do you like, flip a button in that old thing, and it turns into a walkie talkie?

C: I guess.

G: [laughing] The term "walkie talkie" is so cute! [C: It is.] It sounds like a word that we'll make up on like, this podcast. Like, "It's a lappytoppy, it's a walkie talkie," okay, it's so cute. And it's because they're walking, and they're gonna be talking.

Their plan is to go to the 1444 floor room and look at stuff to figure out what the fuck is left behind. And as they're looking, Sam is closer to the door, like, right beside the door, and Dean is like, deeper into the room, just looking through the shelves. And then suddenly, a guard comes in and like, obviously, sees Sam immediately, and Dean just ducks out and hides.

C: And this guard wasn't possessed or anything, right?

G: This guard was just doing this for the laughs, yeah.

C: 'Cause he acts so creepy. And I was like, "There's gotta be something going on here ghost-wise," but like, I don't think there was. But okay, there was the cold air in the elevator before the guy gets killed by the elevator, but like, it also just felt like a regular death. I don't know. I'm confused about Sandover's role in this guard's life.

G: I was gonna say, the other people who are killed were possessed or whatever.

C: Yeah, they got zapped in the brain with his electricity thing, and it changed them.

G: But like, the thing that you can connect to the guard is like, so he died, therefore, blah blah blah. But like, those people like, killed themselves because they were incompetent in their job or whatever. This guy like, just dies a very unfortunate death. [C: Yeah.] This death is amazing, though. [C: Yeah.] I mean, it's horrible, as I've said.

C: No, it's great, though.

G: I still think about it. It's horrible. I mean, what happens is like, the guard like, brings Sam out, and in the elevator, like, the elevator like, gets stuck in between floors. So it's like, only half of the door is like, up, whatever. And so the guard climbs out, and he climbs out like, already. Like, he's already out. And he's telling Sam like, "Come on. Like, just climb out." And Sam's like, "I'm not doing that." And he's like, "Just come on!" and Sam's like, "Nope." The guard sticks his head in, and then, like, the elevator turns back on. [C: Yup.] And it slices him in half, and there's like, a wonderful blad- blood [C laughs] splatter on Sam's shirt and face. [C: It's great.] It's resonant. Like, you remember it, which is, obviously, because I remember it [laughs] very intensely. That's still crazy 'cause, like, that is like, a very specific- if there is like, any other media- If you're a listener and you're listening to this- God knows why. It's so long. [both laugh]- And there's like, any other media where this kind of thing happens, like, tell me.

C: I'm sure it's happened somewhere.

G: Yeah. And like, I'm asking people like, please tell me this stuff it has happened to, 'cause like, I'm still not 100% convinced that this is the source of that fear. [C: Okay, yeah.] That's too convenient. [C laughs] Like, so many of my fears in life are already rooted in Supernatural. Let's find something else. And if there is something else-

C: So much of your life is rooted in Supernatural, though.

G: [laughs] It's true. It's- why? It's crazy.

C: You watched it when you were at an impressionable age.

G: I still think about the fact that in our Good Omens ender podcast, when they asked about Cas, I literally said, "He's like a brother to me. [C laughs] In fact, I've known him longer than my sister." And it's like, [laughing] why am I talking- why did I say that? [laughing]

C: 'Cause it's true.

G: I mean, it's true. My little sister is like, 8 years old, and I've known Cas longer than her. [laughing] But what a crazy comparison to make.

Eventually, Sam and Dean meet up in like, this display room where gloves are like, in this glass case. [C: Yeah.] And so they smash in that glass case-

C: The gloves are Sandover's. [G: Oh, yeah.] The display room is a little museum to the company.

G: They smash in that thing, and as soon as it the glass gets broken, like, cold air. Sandover, I suppose, since I said I would stop calling him Christmas- ghost of corporate past. Well, he shows up. And then they start like, doing this little bit. I mean, it's actually really fun, where like, Sam throws the poker, and Dean is like, "Wow, good one." [C: Yeah.] And then Dean gets to do it, and Sam's like, "That's good." [C laughs] And then they do it together, and they do it one at a time. Like, it's so fun! They're having so much fun. [C: It is fun.] And then, you know, eventually, because they're Sam and Dean, they get their ass beat by the ghost. And there's like, this really fun blood trickle from Dean's scalp down to his like, forehead by his eyebrow. Real nice! Real nice. It's been a while since we got a good like, Sam and Dean blood on their face that's you know, their blood [C: That's true.], and it's important to me.

C: Yeah, they were like, depriving them of their blood on their face rations so that Cas could look so hot during "On the Head of a Pin."

G: Exactly. Eventually, Dean is like, cornered, and he's about to get zapped in the brain, and Sam is like, "Oh, should I go and save Dean? Or should I go and save Dean for real by burning these gloves?" [C laughs] And he does the second. Burns the gloves. It's over. And they were like, "Wow. We're so cool!" [C laughs] And they are. They are. [C: Yeah.] Honestly, I think they are, this episode. [C laughing]

C: I think they're fun.

G: I think because they approach it with an earnestness. [C: That's true.] Specifically Dean. 'Cause, like, Dean in real life is like, "Oh, I'm so cool, but you're the one who thinks that of me. You're supposed to be the one who thinks that of me." And like, obviously, Dean IRL like, thinks he's cool, too, but like, it's so like, a performance kind of way, you know? Like, "Did it look good, like in the movies?" as he said in "Mystery Spot." And here, it is genuinely just Dean being like, "And I think it's cool because I'm doing it, and I think I'm cool." [C laughs] And like, I feel like a lot of the other "How am I perceived?" blah blah blah gets, you know, [C: Yeah.] gets removed from that. And I think mostly that's just because it's, you know, it's not new to Dean Dean anymore. But it is nice to see Dean like, be enthused by what he's doing. Which is like, "Yeah, it's a pretty cool thing," with like, an earnestness that he doesn't really have in his usual time.

C: Also, he just thinks that it's cool that it works. Like, "No way. There's this guy, and he disappears when I do this."

G: Yeah. "Whoa!"

C: Yeah, 'cause I feel like it really doesn't really register to him that this is a matter of life and death, even though he saw like, two people kill themselves. So like, it's more of like, "This is like, a fun extracurricular."

G: I mean, he said "Hell of a workout." [laughs]

C: Yeah. Yeah. Which like, I guess it is sort of surprising that Dean Smith would see Ian stab himself to death with a pencil in front of him, and then also be almost killed by that ghost choking him, and like, not be particularly fazed by it. [G: Yeah.] But yeah, I guess that's the old Dean resilience coming in.

G: It's so funny when Zachariah was like, "Damn! Why the long face? [C laughs] Like, what's up with you, man? Hopefully, you're not thinking of quitting." And it's like, the dude just saw like, a guy get stabbed in the fucking throat. Like, okay.

C: Three people died at your company this week. That could be a reason to quit, I think, if this place makes like, two people that miserable, and then also that security guard made a bad choice that ended very badly.

-

C: We're back in Dean's office, having a conversation afterwards, and Sam and Dean both say that they've never had this much fun in their life. Oh, hey! Doesn't Dean say that in "Free to Be You and Me"? Or "I've never laughed so hard"?

G: Yeah. In years. He says "in years." "I haven't laughed this hard in years."

C: Okay. Not the same thing.

G: Damn. We're gonna watch this episode, and we're gonna be like, "Dean and Cas are in love and so cute. And also, Supernatural is like, soo bad." [C laughing] And it is. Both things are true. And Sam is also there. [laughing]

C: Sam's important to me!

G: I mean, it's so funny because that episode- [laughing] I think someone described it once as "Dean and Cas are having a little date, and Sam is fighting for his life behind the bar counter," and that literally is what happens that episode.

C: Okay, this conversation, I think, is a bit too soon and a bit forced, but I get that they have like, a time limit on the episode, and they have to get here eventually. So yeah, Dean's just laying back, having a casual fun time. And Sam says, like, "We should keep doing this. Like, for real. There could be other ghosts out there. We could help a lot of people." And Dean isn't taking this seriously. I do think that it's interesting that, like, this is where Sam, with his memories wiped, goes to for the first thing. Like, "Let's do this so that we can like, help a lot of people, and I know there's more ghosts killing people out there." 'Cause they've been trying to tell us that Sam doesn't really want to save the world for the saving the world's sake. [G: Yeah.] But like, this, Sam does seem to be of that mindset. Also, okay, there's still demon blood in him right now. It was just a memory wipe. So like, it's not like they're trying to say something about how that changes how he thinks. Though I guess he's been off it for three weeks. [G: Yeah.] Ugh. I wish this was a more Sam-centric episode. I wanted to see, like, Sam, like, in this role, going through like, demon blood withdrawal and like, not knowing what's going on. [G: Yeah.] Like, isn't that interesting? That, plus the dreams, plus everything else? Ugh. But yeah. I don't know. In this episode, Sam does care about saving the world for saving the world's sake. Yeah. Is it like- what? His life- like, because hunting has always been like, so negative for both of them, like, he's gotten really jaded in his regular life about saving the world. He cares more about like, the power rush of drinking demon blood and things like that. But like, if you take those negative associations away, you get to like, the good person core of him? Is that the point?

G: I don't even know. I mean, like, the whole Pamela deal was like, "Your intentions are bad." [C: Right.] Which we have railed against that notion. But I will continue to do so.

C: Yeah, yeah. Dean's like, "You're crazy. Like, you want us to quit our jobs and like, hit the road? Like, how would we get by? With stolen credit cards? Eating diner food drenched in saturated fats? Sharing a crap motel room every night?" And at this point, it's just getting to be a bit much. Like, okay, I get it.

G: Sam goes, "That's all just details." Which, oh god! Like, it does make me feel emo that like, Dean, here is like, so fickle.

C: Yeah, like, he wants health insurance, is what he's saying.

G: In real life, you don't see Dean say these things, and it's just like, later on in the show-

C: Well, in "Yellow Fever."

G: Yeah. But, you know, that's a different thing, also. Like, that's Dean, like, uninhibited by like, whatever whatever.

C: That was just Dean with high anxiety.

G: [laughs] That's true. He was uninhibited by anti-anxiety meds. [C laughs] But like, later on in the show, when he does finally have, like, a place, his own room in the bunker, like, we see these, like, fickleness come out. Suddenly, he's like, very fickle with his stuff in his room, you know, like, he decorates, and like, we don't hear him complain about the crap motel room every night or the sleeping in the car, but later on, when he is allowed to have things that are not that, we see that he does want those things. And, I don't know. Dean is like- between them, Sam and Dean both, like, there are so many things that they just won't say. [C: Yeah.] And a lot of those things are like, "Well, what do we actually really want from life?" Because, you know, when your life is like this, when you say those things, I guess it's more harm than good. 'Cause if you can't have it, then, like, why say it? [laughs] It's just horrible to think about.

C: Yeah. And I find Sam's "That's just details" quite interesting, too. Because, like-

G: Yeah, I also read it as super interesting.

C: 'Cause, okay, in the past, he's been like, the "I want a normal life" guy, but like, this seems to imply that it's not about like, the comfort or safety of a normal life. It's like, currently, "That's just details." Like, he's saying that "My ideals are that I want to help people, and like, this is the way to do it, and I'm willing to sacrifice personal comfort and things like that in order to do it." I guess it makes me wonder if like, going to Stanford was also like, an ideological, like, "I don't deserve"- like, "I deserve better than to be raised in this household and like, by leaving, I'm like, making a point about that." Like, it's not just about the "I want to live in a house that I own."

G: I mean, it is different for Sam when it's like, leaving hunting and then leaving his family, because, like, for Sam to be able to leave his family, he does need to stop being a hunter. [C: Mm-hm.] I think it's fundamental to that because the hunter community is so small, and like, eventually, they'll have to work together. They'll have to like, see each other. And if you just want to like, completely remove yourself from that, then, like, you have no choice but to leave. And also, Sam didn't want to remove himself completely from that. It was John who said, "If you want to do this, leave forever." I do think, like, Sam, if he didn't start out like, in the hunting life, would choose to be a hunter, and maybe even, if he wasn't in this particular hunting family, he would choose to be a hunter. It's just that his particular circumstances make that particular choice, like, more defeatist than it should be. [C: Hm.] If Sam lived a similar, like, life, as you know, Ellen and Jo, [C: Yeah.] like, that kind of environment where Jo grew up with hunter parents and like, whatever, but, like, Ellen, is purposely trying to stop her from doing that, like, I think Sam would act like Jo and be like, "But I actually do want to do it." [C: Hm. Yeah.] It's just his particular set of circumstances makes it more complicated than just "What do I want to do?"

C: Yeah, yeah, I think that makes sense. I will slot that into my many, many Sam interpretations as a potential one, [laughing] 'cause I know this is a controversial topic.

G: Is it?

C: Yeah, whether or not Sam wants to be a hunter is a very controversial topic, isn't it?

G: I suppose so. I mean, again, it's circumstantial. Want is a complicated word, 'cause, like, hunting is a complicated life.

C: And associations with that are tied into many things that are beyond the job.

G: And like, even here, when Sam goes, "It's all just details." And it's like, yes, but also, you're only able to say that really 'cause you don't know yet-

C: Right. What it's like.

G: - what it's like. What those details are really and what they entail really. So yeah. We can also say here that like, this Sam doesn't actually really want to hunt, just like, the idea of it or whatever. [C: Right.] It could go any direction.

C: His apartment is probably way less good than Dean's, so [laughing] Dean's taking away a bigger step down than Sam is.

G: Yeah, probably. Yeah. And Sam finally says, like, "Do you remember those dreams about the ghosts I told you about? I was fighting them with you. We were hunters, and we were friends. More like, brothers, really. I mean, what if that's who we really are. Like, what if we really are like, brothers, and we ought to work together, and like, we really are like, hunters." Yeah. And the rest of the conversation is Dean being like, "You're crazy. That's crazy. Are we the crazy brothers?"

C: "You're the crazy brother."

G: "I hate you." [laughs] "You're the crazy brother, not me!" And Sam is trying to say that like, "They like, scrambled my brain, and they scrambled your brain." Dean says, like, "Oh, but my family. I know them. I'm Dean Smith, Director of Sales and Marketing, went to Stanford. Father's name is Bob. Mother's name is Ellen. Sister's name is Jo." That's [both] crazy. That's crazy.

C: They literally said, "Why don't we just pair the spares in the background?" Also, yeah, I so assumed that both of them were only children in this universe, so it's interesting to hear that, like, Dean, is like, an older brother here, but like, that doesn't come with any of the responsibilities that being an older brother in his real life is, so like, he can just be like, "Yeah, I haven't talked to her in a  long time. It doesn't matter."

G: Yeah. Sam is like, "You haven't talked to them in a long time, though. And I'll know, 'cause like, I moved here because I broke up with my fiancee, Madison." [C: Ah!] It's crazy, right?

C: Yeah, that they chose her?

G: Yeah. But, you know, she called her number, and it was an animal hospital.

C: So true.

G: Love that. Sam says, "All I know is, I got this feeling in my gut, and I know that deep down, you gotta be feeling it, too. We're supposed to be something else. You're not just some corporate douchebag. This isn't you? I know you." And Dean says, "Know me? You don't know me, pal. You should go." And like, I started crying in this scene.

C: Damn. [laughs]

G: 'Cause I remembered a conversation I had with my sister when we were young, and you know when you're young, and like, young. Like, my sister and I, we have a two-year age gap, so like, we're pretty close in age.

C: Oh yeah. That is my sister and I's age gap. It involves a lot of kicking each other and saying you wished the other person was never born when you were young. [laughs]

G: Bro. One time my sister kicked me to the wall, and I hit my back to the wall, and it was like, when you hit your back on the floor and all of your breath is like, out of your body? [C: Uh-huh.] That happened to me, and the whole time, she was like, "You deserved it 'cause you're so horrible to me!" [both laughing] And you know what? I probably did. I was a pretty horrible child. And, okay, well, the story is actually super sweet. But like, one time, we're kids, probably like, 7 and 9. Something like that. She was telling me like, "Oh no! What if I get lost? How will you find me?" And I was like, "I'll know what you look like." And she says, "No, but like, what if they change my face, and like, I'm trying to tell you, 'Hey, this is me,' but you don't recognize me?" And I go like, "Well, you'll tell me, and I'll believe you." And she's like, "No, but what if they take away my memories and I don't remember? How will you know it's me?" And I go, "You have a mole on your back, and it's very big and prominent, so I'll just go, 'Show me your back,' and you'll show me the mole, and I'll know it's you." And she goes, "Well, what if they remove the mole too?" And I go, "I think I'll just know it's you, no matter what." And like, this scene reminds me of that. And it's like, [teary] they are siblings! I don't know. It's just- Sam and Dean, I feel like a lot of time, we focus on their like, conflict and like, they hate each other, and they're like, bad for each other most of the time, blah blah blah. [C: Yeah.] But like, this- when Sam says, like, "I know you," it really is less like, "I know you" in that, like, "I understand you." Like, we constantly talk about like, Sam and Dean not really understanding each other and understanding like, the motivations, you know, like, how they feel, really. But like, at the end of the day, like, you'll know that's your brother. And it's not about like, understanding him or whatever. [tearing up again] It's like- it's not about understanding them. Like, their motivations and everything. It's just like, "I know it's you." You know? [C: Yeah.] And yeah, that does mean something to me! [laughs] And that same sister did kick me to the wall. [C: So true.] And said I deserved it because I was so horrible. And it's probably true!

C: Yeah. It is interesting that they made them not brothers in this AU. [G: Yeah.] What was the reasoning there? Like, if Zachariah wanted Dean to realize who he's meant to be earlier, wouldn't he have them be together?

G: No, I don't think so. [C: No?] Because, like, the point is that- actually, I have a lot of things to say about like, what Zachariah says later, so let's go to the nitty-gritty of what Zachariah says later. But for why Sam and Dean are like, not brothers here, and is that essential or whatever whatever.

C: I think it's essential. But I'm just curious about why the choice was made.

G: Well, first, you cannot have them in the same like, power position, I think. [C: Hm.] Do you think they could have been like, brothers, but Sam is like, a call center guy, and Dean is like, an exec?

C: That probably would have been rough. It would have garnered a lot of jealousy or whatever.

G: Exactly. Like, there would already be like, an underlying thing there, if that's the case.

C: Well, they could be Huntercorp.

G: Yeah, the other option is like, they're both execs. Which, again, as I've said, if you put Sam in Dean's role, it just wouldn't work in the way Sera Gamble wants it to work.

C: In terms of homophobic. [G: Yeah.] But like, that's not like, all of the point of this.

G: Actually, I do think it's a major point of it.

C: It is a pretty major point of it. But I guess I was just asking from like, a Zachariah's motivations perspective. But like, yeah, I think you should keep talking about it from a stories perspective.

G: Like, again, as I've said, I do view this episode as like, they put Dean in here, and then later on, they put Sam in, 'cause, like, whatever is happening with Dean, there's no instigation, so we need Sam to instigate.

C: Yeah, so you're saying like, Dean would see Ian stab himself in the neck in the bathroom and see like, a ghost in the mirror, but probably just go like, "Okay. Whatevs." They could've given him the dreams.

G: That's true. But we have to keep to the themes and motifs. [laughing] And we do. We really do. I think if they're both like, call center guys, I also think it wouldn't work.

C: Really.

G: 'Cause Dean just would be Ian.

C: They could make him really like his job and dress up really nice and add a tie to his yellow shirt and stuff.

G: Yeah, but like, when Sam starts going, "But is this all your life is?" whatever whatever, like, Dean cannot make the argument of like, "I don't know. But I like having a nice life that's like, rich and expensive." This is actually one of the rare opportunities in a Supernatural episode where I'm like, "I think they did it exactly just right."

-

G: So we go back to Sam's cubicle, and he looks, you know, pissed. [C: Hell yeah.] Doesn't like what's happening. And his phone starts ringing. [C: Mm-hm!] And he just loses it. He takes off his headphone. And like, this is not like, "losing it" as in "he's angry." Like, [laughing] completely normal guy. Just like, he was like, "And now I will destroy this fucking phone." You know? And it's wonderful. [C: Yeah.] So he thinks of his headset and picks up like, the fucking iron whatever. [C: Yeah.] [laughs] He brought it with him. And then he just starts beating the hell out of the phone. [C: Yeah.] And then, like, I don't know. It stops ringing. And then everyone's looking at him. 'Cause this is like, very long, very long scene, just beating this fucking phone. And then it's over. He takes a breath, looks at everyone who is obviously staring at him, and he just goes, "I quit."

C: God bless. He's so fun!

G: He said, "Quiet quitting? Bro, I will loud quit." [C laughs] And he did!

C: Yeah. Do you think he was a lawyer, like- Is it just that he hates working IT? Like, would he be okay as a lawyer?

G: [laughs] You think like, in the middle of the case, it'd be like, "Fuck this!" And then what? [both laughing] Takes the judge's gavel and is just like, slams it down, and he's like, "Court is adjourned. I don't give a shit."

C: [laughing] Says, "My client's guilty" and leaves.

G: [laughs] Yeah. Wonderful! I think part of it just is the monotony of the job. Actually, like, we skipped it over earlier, but like, he tells Dean like, "I think I should be doing something else." And Dean says, "I think most people in your job [C: Who work at a call center.] feel that way." Yeah.

C: So what, Zachariah gave Sam like, the worst job ever because he knew that if Sam got another job, he'd be okay? Or-

G: No, it's just- I think having him have this job would make him more motivated to like, do the things that will instigate Dean's action, which is the goal of the Zachariah.

C: That makes sense. This is very fun. I just feel I normally don't- I feel like Sam usually has an ability to be calm. But like, for this one, it's like, I guess it's just like, so irritating. And also like, I don't- Maybe, like, choosing to quit your job and start hunting is sort of a scary thing. So maybe if he's like, "If I do this in such a way, where like, it's literally impossible for me to ever come back, like, that'll be what really forces me into that lifestyle, and I want that."

G: I mean, he's annoyed, obviously. But again, as I've said, the picking up the fucking stick and like, putting the headphones down.

C: That's true. It's calculated.

G: It's done in such like, a calm- like, "I've thought it out, and I have decided that this is the logical conclusion to this thought process." [laughs] I think a part of it is just like, "I want to make- like, I have decided that I will do this thing already," and like, maybe burning bridges, as you said, like, "Let's just make it so that I can never come back." [C: Yeah.] Which I think is very Sam Winchester.

C: Yeah. Love that guy. Love that guy!

-

C: So now we get a whole long Dean scene that Sam never gets because they hate him, they hate him and want him to die. So Zachariah comes into Dean's office and, you know, is checking up on him and saying like, "Oh, I hear that you're really good at your job, and it's important to me that you're happy. So how's this for a bonus?" and he slips him a piece of paper. And he says it's because he wants to make sure Dean's not going anywhere, and that he sees big things in Dean's future, maybe even Senior VP, Eastern Great Lakes Division. And then he starts saying, like, "You'll have to work for it 7 days a week, lunch at your desk, but in 8 to 10 short years, that could be you," and it starts like zooming in on his mouth, or whatever I think, on like, "8 to 10 short years," and Dean's like, being like, "Oh, fuck! This actually suucks." Dean says, "Oh, well, thank you. But I am giving my notice. I have recently realized that I have some other work to do that's very important to me. This- it's just not who I'm supposed to be." And then Zachariah, who before this has just been like, "Oh, no no no, don't quit," he finally grins. And he goes, "Dean, Dean, Dean. Finally." And then he presses two fingers to his forehead, restores his memories, and the coloring of the episode gets less saturated.

G: Oh, I love it. I love it. [C: Yeah.] It's such a seamless transition, too. I love it.

C: Pretty fun.

G: Specifically, I forgot to mention it this entire episode. The coloring this episode really brings out Sam's green eyes [C: Yes!] in a way that is so terrifying to me, personally. [laughs]

C: 'Cause he should have beautiful brown eyes all the time.

G: He should have beautiful, wide, doe, puppy brown eyes, or whatever. [C: Yeah.] Dean says, "What the hell? Why am I wearing a tie? My god, am I hungry." Which, [C: We've discussed.] we've mentioned it earlier.

C: Dean's like, "Did I just get touched by an angel? Like, you're an angel, right?" And Zachariah introduces himself. Dean's annoyed, and Zachariah says that he is Castiel's superior.

G: Love it!

C: Hell yeah. This guy literally went to Cas and was like, "You're getting like, kind of homo with Dean Winchester. [laughing] I'm going to make him gay for real." He says that he had no interest in popping down here into "one of these smelly things," indicating his vessel, which is fun. I like the ways that angels interface with their vessels differently. He says that he's here to get all of his ducks in a row because of what happened with Uriel, and Dean is like, "Oh, so this was like, a lesson. Wow! Very creative." And Zachariah says, "You should see my decoupage," which is a craft where you like, glue together paper and like, gold leaf and other things. [G laughs] Which like, this is probably like, a joke, but also, I think it'd be so fun if he actually is like, an arts and crafts guy. [G: Exactly!] I think all the angels should have hobbies and interests up in Heaven. Like, Uriel's the funniest angel in the garrison, Zachariah's the most creative angel in the garrison!

G: Every couple eons, he has a workshop where [laughing] he teaches the angels how to do paper mache. [C: Yeah.] And it's a wonderful experience!

C: Yeah, in later years, like, they make Cas pinatas and then whack them with bats.

Dean says, "Gross, no thank you," which I think is a joke that decoupage sounds like- I don't know how you pronounce it. Decolletage? You know, the French- the whatever. The thing that means cleavage. So Dean asks if this was a hallucination, and Zachariah explains that no, this was a real place with a real haunting. He just put Dean in the middle of this without the benefit of his memories. And Dean says a sentence of all time. [laughs] He says, "Just so you guys can have fun watching us run around like ass clowns in monkey suits?" [both laughing]

G: [laughing] Yeah. Exactly.

C: Exactly.

G: You got it right on the money, buddy.

C: Zachariah says, "To prove to you that the path you're on is truly in your blood. You're a hunter. Not because your dad made you, not because God called you back from Hell, but because it is what you are, and you love it. You'll find your way to it in the dark every time, and you're miserable without it. Dean, let's be real here. You're good at this, you'll be successful, and you will stop this." What an interesting thing. Are we doing a breakdown?

G: Yes. [C: Okay.] I mean, some of it.

C: Okay. "The path you're on is truly in your blood." I mean-

G: Is a crazy thing to say, because- like, "You're a hunter, not because your dad made you, not because God called you back from Hell." And it's like, independently, these things can be true. I mean, they are. But the blood in question is also like, a Heavenly-crafted- like, that is manipulated by Heaven to be this way.

C: Yeah, they set up Mary and John.

G: Eons! "Eons." [laughs] That's not true. It's not that long. But like, generations of people were paired together, were, you know, like, lined up perfectly so that it will result to Sam and Dean with this exact blood, as they say. It's so insidious to be like, "It's in your blood" as something that is like, "It is natural to you, and it's like, you're fated to do it because of what is in your body" when, like, their very bodies, both him and Sam, are like, perfectly engineered to be this way. [C: Yeah.] It's fucking crazy.

C: It is pretty crazy.

G: Like, it's so insidious! I don't know. I mean, Supernatural is- again, like, multiple times, I've said I love like, concepts of fate and free will, right?

C: Yeah, they love doing it through biological determinism.

G: Supernatural is such an interesting show in the fate and free will part because it's like, the faith in question is like, it's not a divine calling. They really- they make it a point that, like, it really is like, a blood thing. Like, it's in your blood, which is- [laughs] I mean, lots of things we can say about that. But Supernatural, I think, doesn't really do a very good job of like, telling us that like, this is terrifying! To be in a situation like this, where you cannot even deny the inherentness of something about you because from the beginning of humanity, the intention of you being born this way with this exact physicality, exact makeup has already been decided. And, like, generations and generations of your family has been, you know, manufactured and engineered in this way so that you could exist in this way is like, that is like, horror. That's horror. [C: Yeah.] And having Zachariah say this specifically is like- I mean, like, obviously, like, you know, I know about the Cupid episode. I know that that's the case with Mary and John. It's just, this line, specifically. Like, when he said it, like, I literally got chills. I was like, "God, that's actually like, so fucking terrifying!"

C: Yeah. It's also the fact that he's talking about hunters like they're like, a separate species from humans. [G: Yeah.] Which is like, certainly interesting. And like, they do this in the fucking Winchesters, too, where, like, they also seem to view hunters as like, a separate species from humans, which is why, like, the villain wants to kill all humans, because they're like, oppressing hunters by like, needing to be rescued or whatever the fuck. [both laugh] Crazy show. And that is interesting. And it also like, I don't know, it reminds me of, like, the whole, like, military families thing where, like, the largest predictor of someone joining the military is another family member being in the military, and how like, that's often treated as like, a higher calling, as well as like- I mean, there's the biological component as in like, if you like, take certain fitness tests, they'll be like, "You are meant to be in the military. Like, these are like, the physical assets you have, and you're like, wasting them by like, not joining us to like, murder people." [both laugh] So like, yeah, I think that's an interesting component of it.

The next thing that I find interesting is "Not because God called you back from Hell." So Zachariah fully believes the orders are from God. We've seen like, different angel attitudes on this. Zachariah has faith. So that's neat.

G: Also, I do genuinely think God called Dean back from Hell [C: Oh, yeah.], just because we know who God is, and he would do that.

C: "You're miserable without it." "You love it, and you're miserable without it."

G: The thing is like, "you love it" and "you're miserable without it" are like, [C: Different.] those are not, those are different things. You can be miserable without something and still be miserable with it. Does Dean love hunting? Like, again, like, it's complicated. Like, aspects of it you can love, and then aspects of it are so terrible, too. So like, yeah.

C: Yeah. Is he miserable without it, though? Like, we see Season 6, and I feel like what I see of like, the opening to Season 6, it's just like, "Guy's got PTSD." Are we supposed to think like, misses hunting and wants to go back?

G: I don't think that at all. [C: Okay.] Season 6, not at all.

C: That's also Sera Gamble, isn't it?

G: Yeah, Season 6 and 7, Sera Gamble. And that episode specifically is Sera Gamble. [C: Mm-hm.] I mean, the next line is, "Let's be real here. You're good at this. You'll be successful." [C: "You will stop it."] The way it's ordered is like, "You love it. You're miserable without it. You're good at it. You're gonna be successful." The implication there, it's like, the one leads to the other and then leads to the other and then leads to the other. Again, it's so insidious. Like, Zachariah is such a good like, evil character, 'cause like, he's well-spoken. 'Cause I think with- Well, Cas is not of this mindset with Dean. He'll never say these kinds of things to Dean. Uriel kinda does-

C: Uriel's mostly just like, "Well, you have to listen to us because you have to."

G: Yeah, like, Uriel doesn't understand, like, the concept of like, getting into Dean's head because he doesn't think it's worth it. Like, Uriel thinks Dean is below him, and it's like, "Whatever. I can make him follow anyway. It doesn't matter." But like, Zachariah understands Dean's psyche and like, is able to get deep in there. And I mean, like, towards the end of this episode, like, as his words continue- okay, let's let's do the words. So like, yeah, "You will stop it." Dean asks for clarification. Like, "Is it the Apocalypse? What are you talking about?"

C: Yeah, or Lucifer? And he goes, "You'll do everything you're destined to do. All of it. [G: Hell yeah.] But I know, I know. You're not strong enough. You're scared. You've got daddy issues. You can't do it. Right?" And Dean, like, gets angry. But Zachariah says, "All I'm saying is, it's how you look at it. Most folks live and die without moving anything more than the dirt it takes to bury them. You get to change things. Save people, maybe even the world. All the while, you drive a classic car and fornicate with women. This isn't a curse. It's a gift. So, for God's sake, Dean, quit whining about it." He says, "Look around. There are plenty of fates worse than yours. So are you with me? You want to go steam yourself another latte, or are you ready to stand up and be who you really are?" What a guy! What a speech.

G: What a speech! And like, the last part is, like, "This is actually good for you, 'cause like, you're living behind a legacy or whatever. You're actually doing things instead of just quote 'doing things.' [C: Yeah.] And you're gonna look so cool while doing it!"

C: Yeah, you get to be a straight hunter, as we said. [G: Yeah.] "This isn't a curse, it's a gift." What the hell?

G: The thing is like, these are words that Dean has like, expressed at some point, right? Is it "Bugs"? He's like, "Oh, look at these suburban people! I can never live like this. Actually, our lives, that's the good one. Like, these guys are like, just being whatever." Dean would say those things, either because he believes it or he wants to believe it due to like, an insecurity he has about his life right? And so Zachariah being able to recognize that and then tapping into it and like, feeding into those like, thought process that Dean has used to justify his life in the past, [C: Yeah.] to be able to continue justifying this is like- It's good! It's so good! [C: Yeah.] He really said, "I will get into your head, boy." And then he did. [C laughs]

C: Yeah, I do still think it's crazy that he said like, "Look around at these people working in an office. Their lives are way worse than your life." [G: Yeah.] Like, are we sure?

G: There's the aspect of Supernatural where it's like, is Supernatural trying to convince us that this is true?

C: Yeah. I don't know. It's so interesting that they think there's only two ways to live your life.

G: Yeah, obviously, but what is the-

C: Do they think- like, is the audience supposed to think-

G: What is the message trying to be said, yeah. What are we supposed to think here?

C: I haven't really thought about it before, but is Supernatural escapism for some people sometimes? Like, "I wish I was a hunter instead of my current life." Like, probably, I guess.

G: Yeah, probably. Yeah.

C: So I guess this is just for those people, right? Like, "Well, you're right."

G: I think about this, and like, the way the statement is worded, too, is like, it goes from like, "You'll save the world" and then it's like, "And you specifically are gonna have, like, some form of like, glory, or whatever in your life." I think about like- you've read Song of Achilles? [C: Yeah.] The Madelyn Miller, whatever. I think about the fact there, that, like, I don't know why I'm quoting this instead of- [laughs] No, but like, specifically the way they like, paint it in that book specifically, like, the prophecy is like, "You're either going to fulfill your prophecy, or if you don't fulfill your prophecy, the alternative is, you'll just die of old age. Like, you'll just have a normal life, and you'll fade into obscurity, you'll die of old age, whatever." And like, obviously, it's different for Dean, because, like, it's like, "The world will end or you do this," you know. And like, the pressure for Dean is like, a lot more intense than like, a king telling you you should do this because, like, these are like, angels who have, like, actual like, powers and everything. But I do think about the fact that, in that book, they make it a point to show that, like, Achilles does frequently think that, like, "I had no choice in the matter. It's a prophecy! I had no choice," even though, like, he was told, like, early on, that like, "No, actually, you do have a choice. It's either die in glory or live like, a normal life, and you chose the die in glory, but you're making it seem like there was no choice. 'Cause like, it feels like the normal life isn't even a choice at all." And I think about that, and I think about Dean, and Dean's attitude towards hunting does fluctuate a lot. But yeah, I don't know, the fact that a big part of the advertisement to being a hunter and living your fate for him is "You can look cool doing it." That's crazy to me.

C: [laughs] Yeah. Like in the movies.

G: Like in the movies. [laughing] Isn't it so funny that the episode that we're like, "And we care enough about Dean to talk about his character in depth" is the one where like-

C: He's not him.

G: - he's very little, does not have his memories, is not himself. [C: Yeah.] Oh, Dean.

C: I mean, he's a lot more likable in "Yellow Fever" also.

G: Yeah, we're gonna have a field day in like, "Remembering Dean."

C: Oh, yeah!

G: Well, anyway, what do we think about this episode? I think it's neat.

C: I liked it. Even though like, [laughs] almost the entire point of it is homophobia.

-

G: Best Line/Worst Line. Can I just choose like, Zachariah's entire speech?

C: Zachariah's whole speech? Sure.

G: Well, because I also am thinking about the Sam speech.

C: Yeah, that was my second choice.

G: "This isn't you. I know you." really gets to me. And then Zachariah's entire speech is wonderful. "GMILF" is pretty funny. [both laugh]

C: Best line of this episode!

G: I mean, they don't even have any women in this episode. And like, the only mention of a woman is GMILF. [both laughing] Mimi, right?

C: Yeah. Well.

G: Can we put that as a misogyny point?

C: Maybe. I mean, the guy's supposed to be sleazy. I don't know. Maybe. But yeah, I think I liked when Sam quoted Bruce Springsteen that "I don't like my job. I don't like this town. I don't like my clothes. I don't like my own last name. It feels like I should be doing something else. There's just something in my blood."

G: He said, "I don't like my clothes. I don't like my face. My hair's fine, though." [C laughs] And it literally is fine.

C: Yeah, yeah. It is whatever color pleases God. And it literally is. I mean he chose that shit, probably, Chuck did.

G: Exactly. Worst line? I think Sam's like, "Dude!" when Ian started pocketing the [C laughs] office supplies.

C: Don't be such a dick, Sam. Um, I mean, yeah-

G: You see that shit, you just go, "Hm." You do a little giggle, even, if you're in the mood. And then, yeah, you're done.

C: I think I was bothered by Dean's line about not going to the gym because of how I took it, and I also thought that Ian's whole making fun of Sam for his dream stuff was also like, overdone. So I guess those are the two major negative moments.

G: Well, spread those sheets.

C: Spread those sheets. Let's see. Misogyny, it is weird that, like, no women work in this office. [laughs] But it's not a real-

G: No, but the thing is, when there's no like, people of color in the episode, we 0 it.

C: Yeah. So it's probably the same thing.

G: I still am not super comfy with the fact that we do that. [C: Yeah.] I mean, there should be something. Like, you can't just keep getting away with it [C laughs] because you don't involve people of color in your show.

C: Well, sometimes they're racist without people of color being there, like in "Houses of the Holy." [G laughs]

G: Exactly. Okay, so let's just 0 the misogyny and racism in this one?

C: Sure, yeah. Homophobia.

G: I think we should give it a 5.

C: Are we- okay. All the way there?

G: 4, maybe.

C: Yeah, I would say 3 or 4.

G: I think this is a 4 or 5.

C: Yeah, okay, it is intrinsic to the episode. That part is true.

G: It's very intrinsic.

C: Okay. I think a 4 makes sense. Yeah. Wow! Is this our first 4?

G: I think so. Ever? With anything. I think we were never really like, going above-

C: A three in the past, yeah. Plus, we've only been doing this kind of scale for two seasons. Like, before that, we were just doing Dean individual points, yeah. Well, there we are.

G: There we are, then.

C: IMDb. This is enjoyed, I'm assuming. It's famous.

G: Oh, for sure. But do we think it's higher than "On the Head of a Pin"?

C: No, I don't think it's that.

G: I don't think it is, but I think it should be.

C: Huh. Bold words.

G: Bold words. I'll give this a 9. [C: Okay] I think this is a 9.0.

C: I think it's a little bit lower than that. I think it's an 8.9. But maybe I'm lying. Well, hit me with the truth.

G: Let's see. It's an 8.6.

C: Oh, that's low.

G: Much lower than I thought. Why is that?

C: Yeah, it's the same as "Death Takes a Holiday." Are people like, "Dean wouldn't do that." [laughs]

G: This one's called it topical.

C: This one calls it an unnecessary story.

G: This one called it-

C: "- a rebuke of late capitalism and a social satire piece." Huh.

G: "Not revolutionary or anything, but one of the more politically overt episodes." I mean, it is true.

C: It is one of the more politically overt episodes, I suppose.

G: In that they exist in a world where-

C: They mentioned the economy one time, yeah. [both laugh] This person said that they didn't like that the Ghostfacers were going to come back. That's so sad. Ghostfacers are great.

G: This one says, "You have to dial up the suspension of disbelief. Just watch it. Don't think about it."

C: What? I loved thinking about it.

G: I love to think about it. Obviously, this person has never had a podcast [C laughs] where they talk about and think about an episode in depth for multiple hours.

C: Yeah. This person says that the pre-credit sequence is too long. Well, no, it's not. [laughs] It's very important to have this AMV.

G: This one calls it "greatest filler episode so far." [C: It's not a filler.] I would not call this filler, like, at all.

C: I guess they don't know about the Michael plot is the thing. So like, the Zachariah shit, I feel like it's enhanced a lot by knowing what Dean's ultimate fate is. I think if you don't know that, you're like, "Okay, he's being dramatic."

G: Yeah, well. That’s it for this episode of Busty Asian Beauties. Next week, we will be discussing Season 4, Episode 18: "Monster at the End of this Book." Leave us a rating or a review wherever you get your podcasts. C: Follow us on social media! We are on Tumblr at bustyasianbeautiespod.tumblr.com. Our official tag is #BABPod, B-A-B-POD. Thanks to everyone who's donated to our Ko-Fi at ko-fi.com/bustyasianbeautiespod, and check out our merch at babpod.redbubble.com. G: Also like, we're probably gonna be putting up our like, post-episode like, whatever on Ko-Fi now, 'cause it's too long. [C laughs] We've been making episodes that are incredibly long. [C: Yeah.] Just so it doesn't fuck too terribly with the runtime. You can email us at bustyasianbeautiespod@gmail.com. See you guys next time! [both] Bye!

[guitar music]

[wholemountain]

33 For 33.

First of all, I probably haven’t written a list like this since MySpace was still popular….But I had some time to kill today so here we go.

I’m the eldest child. I have both a younger sister and a younger brother.

I was born in Guam. My dad was in the military so we moved around quite a bit when I was a kid.

Sharks absolutely terrify me. I’ve had nightmares about them for years and have an app on my phone that tracks them.

I went through a phase where I was pretty into WWE because I love the Bella Twins. I spent my 28th birthday at SummerSlam but my interest in it faded after the twins retired.

I have a habit of romanticizing many things in life while still being overly realistic when it comes to others.

I’m not religious by any means but I am spiritual.

Because I struggle with my own impulsivity, I try not to make permanent decisions based on temporary emotions.

I don’t particularly like watching sports on TV nor do I have any favorite teams, but I do enjoy the atmosphere of watching them in person.

I’m left-handed.

I got my dog from a friend who wasn’t quite ready for the responsibility. After living in multiple different homes for the few first months of her life, I like to think she was meant to find her way to me.

I have a Bachelor’s Degree in History but if I could go back and do it over I would have majored in something more practical.

I had braces on my top teeth for a short period of time in high school and still wear my retainer most nights. Furthermore, I enjoy going to the dentist and having my teeth cleaned.

I wanted to be like Buffy The Vampire Slayer when I was kid. I idolized strong, female protagonists.

I’m not materialistic at all but I am sentimental when it comes to certain things.

I prefer real books but download many to my phone because it’s more convenient. I love to read.

I cope with difficult situations by cracking (sometimes inappropriate) jokes in relation to whatever it is I’m going through. I try to deal with things quickly; I’m not a wallower.

I like the smell of gasoline.

Trash Reality TV is my guilty pleasure.

I do not enjoy getting my hair or nails done because I have a strong dislike for small talk and have a hard time sitting still for that long. It’s a chore for me.

To piggyback off of my last statement, I skipped both my high school and college graduations because I didn’t care to sit through the ceremonies.

It eats me up inside to think I’ve hurt someone’s feelings, whether I meant to in the moment or not.

I’ve had digestive issues since I was a teenager….but I guess a good portion of the country does now too. I love to eat regardless.

I’ll answer to Ber, Burger, Burg, Wholemountain, and a few other pet names I’ve acquired over the years. But my family just calls me Amber Babe.

I believe music is medicine.

I watch way too much true crime. I’m both fascinated and horrified by murder psychology.

In my 30s, a phrase that I’ve learned to both love and live by is that the word “no” is a complete sentence.

If I could have any superpower, it’d probably be time travel because I’d love to experience different periods in history.

Although I’m typically extroverted by nature, I really do value having time to myself. I need it in order to function properly.

As a teenager, I took off to New York in the middle of the night with my then boyfriend and younger sister in tow without telling my parents. That’s too long of a story to get into but I only made it as far as New Jersey before I had to turn back around.

On that same note, in my 20s I had lunch at a rest stop with a bunch of truckers I’d just met on my way home from a solo trip to Nashville. (Disclaimer: I am not promoting this type of reckless behavior.)

I do my best thinking in the car. If I’ve got something I need to sort out, I take a drive.

I often say that I found myself in a cheap box of Walmart hair dye. My siblings are still blonde, but I’ve been dying my hair darker for years.

In today’s world, it’s become trendy to share every little piece of your daily life on social media. I feel that my privacy is something that I’m placing value in more and more.

It was definitely more difficult than I anticipated to come up with 33 random things about myself on the spot but I managed. The End.

— Amber Lyn. 2023.

[memetaped]

most popular girls in school taken from the tv show.

i said where, not when, you idiot.

what, did you suddenly adopt the vocabulary of bob the builder?

i’m sorry, doc, but i don’t live in a goddamn mentos commercial.

do you guys ever talk about anything other than, like, revenge?

we should probably go eat an entire meal and reorganize.

i’m coping. i’m celebrating. i’m copebrating. i’m celebroting.

oh my g.

we’re kind of in the middle of something right now, so if you could, you know, not.

god, i want to fucking murder you.

oh, you are a calm breeze in my fuckstorm of a life that i’m living.

are you gonna try to nickname yourself again?

note to self: corn dogs and mountain dew do not mix.

you look like a tampon that was dipped in skittles and vomit.

psst. psst. psst.

i want to poop here. whenever i want for as long as i want.

welcome to the new reality.

stop trying to force your full house references on us.

byeeeee.

but the “me” i want to be likes to curse.

i don’t really think that this is the kind of thing that anybody should be laughing at.

you were supposed to be watching the door.

someone threw a rock at me today.

why do you say “how do you say” before words you clearly know how to say?

om, nom, nom, nom. i’m hungry for lunch.

TMI but thanks.

whoa, i think i’m going to pass out.

well, well, well, sounds like there’s discord on cheer mountain.

i’m recording it on the DVR so that i can fast forward through commercials.

i didn’t believe that for a goddamn second.

you have the worst timing ever. we’re kind of dealing with a situation here.

jesus christ, is that a fucking gremlin?

i’m not saying anything. i’m just saying.

the answer to a question i never asked.

now where the hell is my nonfat skinny caramel hazelnut jamocha cappuccino?

the ghost of christmas past wouldn’t sell me anything.

it means whatever the fuck you want it to mean.

by a nap, do you mean ambien and a box of wine?

you cursed me out in the bathroom earlier today.

i think i know how to mix ex-lax into a fucking drink, okay?

well, i don’t want to be rude, but that story was very long and much more involved than i originally thought it would be, and i’ve had to poop through most of it.

just give me one second. annnd it’s on twitter.

i’m sorry, but why the fuck is everybody yelling over here?

no, write-in, like with a pen.

don’t erase my DVR.

so much technical jargon, jesus louisus!

that’s a nightmare. a nightmare i call my life.

and it can’t be me because i’m halfway through shark week.

what the fuck is wrong with you?! throwing hacky-sacks all around willy-nilly like this was the goddamned x-games.

don’t worry. i’ve got this.

oh, jesus christ, you’re a fucking trainwreck.

my ears will never be clean.

i’m trying to keep my stress levels down. i’ll explain later, but just know that i agree with pretty much everything you said.

i guess the only part of your plan that didn’t work was the whole goddamn thing!

don’t ever fucking cut me off again, do you understand me?

but if you put too much, then it won’t mix with the liquid and it’ll just sit on top like semen on root beer.

and that’s why i always say, “trust a decepticon and you’ll get burned”.

you think you can maintain consciousness for the next five minutes?

“not the best idea”? it’s a fucking ridiculous piece of shit of an idea!

i know you got your own issues, but we’ve literally spent the last three weeks talking exclusively about that.

hit the bricks, bitch.

we’ll make you an admin on our facebook page, include you on the google docs and start cc’ing you on all emails.

oh my god, i feel like it’s staring right at me. it’s like the eye of sauron.

never mind. posted, tagged, your life is ruined.

i wanted to play angry birds, not read wuthering fucking heights.

oh my, somebody’s gonna be walking very funny tomorrow morning.

is chiffon a material or a person? or both?

i’m in the matrix.

oh, well that sounds like a perfectly rational decision.

son of a – son of a gun, son of a freaking gun.

i’m glad this is gonna be a fair fight. like rocky and apollo creed.

i think you meant to say fudging poop-show.

do you think anyone will notice i’m bald?

you’re right. because a fly is an innocent creature that never knowingly did anything to anybody. you, however, i would maim.

how about i come back there and kick your ass?

if i didn’t have splash mountain coming out of my ass, i swear i’d rip your fucking head off.

you look up “bitch” in the dictionary and you’re gonna see my fucking face!

i just threw up in my mouth. please stop talking to me, and walk away.

you want me to say no, right?

because i’ve seen every single robocop, and i know how to take you out.

the only true happiness comes in death.

but in exchange for that, you have to watch a whole episode of glee with me.

it was barely a joke. it was just an insult with no laugh line.

i’m here to tell you two things. you’re famous and you’re welcome.

wait, why did you just answer a question that you just asked?

i ate the last bag of gushers while you were taking your afternoon bath, you dirt ball.

ew, it has a bloodstain on it.

that just made me think of something to put on my vision board! i’ll be right back.

this is pizza street, not a toddler’s kitchen.

i’m sorry, but someone like you wouldn’t really understand what i’m going through right now.

what the fuck is the wi-fi password?

i had to leave. i had to reinvent myself.

you have my full and complete attention.

wait, so is hipster a technical term for people who get dressed in the dark?

less talk, talk. more make, make.

what the fuck do i have to be stressed about? 

[the-devils-girl94]

Distracting Thoughts

Prompt: Stranded On A Boat

Characters: Beelzebub x Fem!MC

Content Warnings: Masturbation, MC has thalassophobia(a fear of the ocean and other large bodies of water), MC fantasizing about Beel, lots of smutty good times with Beel

(I like how there is a word for how I feel about large bodies of water. Did not expect it to be this long ass word though.)

Another fic for @voltage-vixen ‘s Summer of Smut challenge! Enjoy!

“How on Earth did I end up in this mess?”

A heavy sigh left your lips and you buried your face into your hands.

Right now, you were stuck in the middle of the sea on a boat that Lord Diavolo had outright purchased. Not everything was going so bad, but you wouldn’t be feeling so slighted if everything was going good either.

Oh no, no. It was simply terrible.

For one thing, while you weren’t in immediate danger, being stuck in the middle of the freaking ocean was downright terrifying! All you could think of was scary scenarios of you drowning in this never-ending sea. Like the boat could sink and you could drown, you could fall over the edge and drown, or you could fall over the edge and a nearby shark could see you as a tasty snack and that could be your end. Your mind just kept coming up with the most exaggerated and impossible one-in-a-million chance scenarios that really did no good for you.

You hated being anywhere near large bodies of water, but there was one thing that kept some of the thoughts at bay. And that was you weren’t entirely alone.

You sat on the back deck of the boat Diavolo had purchased, far away from either edge that you didn’t want to be near, and before you was the ever-so lively Demon Brothers of the House of Lamentation. In short, your lively roommates who just make everything so much better...sometimes. Lord Diavolo and Barbatos was there as well but they mostly kept to themselves with Diavolo mostly sunbathing.

Your mind felt more at ease with the guys around since you knew if any of the scenarios did happen, they would not hesitate to immediately step in to save you. Though you still hope it would never have to come to that in the first place. You felt most safe around Beelzebub, the sixth born. 

Your eyes caught him in the pool that was several feet away from you. He was joined by his twin and locked in a fierce game with the second and third born. Well, you say fierce but its clear that Beelzebub is the victor. Mammon and Leviathan were no match against Beel’s pure strength. And had Belphegor been with anyone else besides his twin, he definitely would not have stood a chance against a team up of his older brothers.

You weren’t too interested in their game play, however. Your eyes were trained on Beel. Even before this boat fiasco, your eyes have never strayed far away from the gluttonous demon. For a long time, you didn’t know if it was a crush or if you’re just naturally drawn to his sweet nature.

“Or maybe that chiseled body of his.”

The tips of your ears grew hot as the thought crept in, replacing your previous anxiety-ridden thoughts. Your mind soon became riddled with images of Beelzebub’s torso. Mostly of his glorious pecs and washboard abs because this demon was built like a freaking Greek God. God knew exactly what he was doing when he made him, but him being a demon made his appeal so much greater! It was, in every sense of the word, sinful.

You were brought back to reality when you heard a large splash and some yelling. You looked up in time to see Levi and Mammon getting flung out of the pool by Beel, all while Belphie napped out on a floating donut. The whole thing brought you to tears as you laughed at the ridiculousness of it all. Mammon had caught you laughing and scolded you.

“Hey, (Y/N)! Don’t laugh, it ain’t funny!,” he yelled, but you continued to chuckle. You felt a little bad, but it was so unexpected as Beel had grabbed them by their feet and literally threw them out.

“(Y/N) witnessed our defeat...how uber lame,” muttered Leviathan as he rubbed his now aching back.

Wiping away your tears, you let out an amused sigh and went off on your own to explore the boat. You were unaware of Beel calling after you as you walked away.

________________________________________________________________

You thought it would be a good idea to explore the boat since Lord Diavolo had bought it and anything he buys is always luxurious. And it was but...

As you wandered the halls, you suddenly understood what sailors meant by sea legs. Although the boat was mostly steady, there would be an occasional gentle rocking of the boat. And had it been anyone else, it would have been fine but no! It completely unsettled you and your thoughts once again became filled with disturbing scenarios of that all ended in you meeting your end in some extreme way or another.

“Oh why did I think it was okay to go off on my own?,” you thought.

Feeling sick to your stomach, you thought it best to just retire to your room and calm your incessant thoughts. You flopped onto your bed and buried your face into your pillow. You hope this day would end so you could finally get off this nightmare. You tried to refocus your mind on something else, because even with you running through every possibility of drowning in every way possible, you were aware that you were in safe hands. None of the brothers would ever let you meet such an end in this never-ending sea full of wonders and mysteries.

You thought back to earlier and found yourself thinking of Beel once more.

The images from earlier made you kick your legs as your face became hot and flushed. You groaned into your pillow with frustration.

“Fuuuuckkkk!,” you screamed internally, feeling slightly ashamed for thinking about Beelzebub in such a manner. But thinking of him did make the other thoughts fade away to the background. Plus you may have a crush on him, so..was it totally wrong to fantasize about him showing up to your room, body dripping with water and looking at you with lust filled eyes?

....Okay, hold up, that actually is kinda hot.

It was the most prevalent image in your head. It made you wonder if you would have the chance to actually have Beel in your room and let him take you. Or maybe have the courage to be that daring?

You felt a tingling sensation between your legs and rolled on your back, blushing. You dwelled on the thought a little more to the point that it became a fantasy. And you imagined Beelzebub crawling towards you on your bed until his face was a couple inches away from yours. His rough hands were on your thighs, lifting them up so your clothed sex could feel the hardness of his bulge clothed from the thin material of his swim shorts.

The heat within your core began to grow and before you knew it, you were already trying to calm the growing heat with your hand. You were craving for the imaginary touch that only existed in your mind. Rubbing against your clit, the fantasy progressed into Beel removing your clothes and pushing his shorts down to free his hardened member. You imagined him stroking his cock against your sensitive slit that was getting wetter and wetter in reality.

Your breathing became heavy and you brought up a free hand to go under your shirt and bra to twist at your nipples. The fantasy continued as you imagined Beel dipping his fingers inside of you, stretching out your pussy to prepare you for him.

Moans started to escape from your lips as your hands worked on your body to bring you the stimulation and release you desperately searched for. You weren’t aware of it but you were also moaning Beel’s name. Apparently you were being a bit loud, because you failed to hear the knocking at your door and the sound of it opening until...

“(Y/N).”

You snapped out of your fantasy-filled haze when you heard your name. Suffice to say, you were extremely embarrassed to find a blushing Beelzebub in your room, half-eaten snacks in his hands. You quickly covered yourself up with a shout, but it was much too late. You were sure that he had saw everything. He probably even heard you too.

“Waah! I’m so fucking embarrassed! Oh my God,” you cringed, trying so hard to fold in on yourself so you could disappear. 

“Ah, (Y/N)! I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to barge in like that,” he apologized profusely. He saw your covers move a bit but no sign of you poking your head out. You whined as you stammered out, “It’s fine! I should have locked my door. I didn’t mean for you to see me...like that...so.”

Ahhh, if anything was more worse than drowning in an ocean where your body likely won’t be found, it was definitely having your crush walk in on you masturbating to him. Ok, maybe not that much worse but still! Tears began to well up in your eyes and you fully expected for Beelzebub to walk out as this situation must have been a bit awkward. But instead you felt your bed dip in a bit as another weight was added. A hand was placed on your back and started rubbing in circles. Your lip trembled as your tears fell, because WHY WAS HE SO FREAKING SWEET!? 

Yeah, you were definitely crushing on him. This is why he was the only one on the crush list.

Beelzebub could feel you trembling and his face was still red from walking in on you. Though if he had to admit it, seeing you like that really turned him on. And to hear you moan his name so wantonly was like music to his ears. But he still felt bad because it was your private time that he interrupted. All because he wanted to hang out with you since he wanted to do so earlier, but you didn’t hear him calling after you.

But now there was a massive elephant in the room and neither of you knew how to bring it up without it becoming more awkward. Or your in case more embarrassed.

“(Y/N)?”

“Yes, Beel?”

“I’m still sorry for earlier. I wanted to hangout, but do...do you want me help you a bit?”

You shot up like a rocket and turned wide-eyed to face a startled Beelzebub, who was feeling a bit pervy for asking you that question. But to you, he didn’t need to feel like that because this was the moment you were thinking of earlier! You started to laugh at the irony, causing Beel to become confused which you noticed.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry! I’m not laughing at you, Beel!,” you chuckled out. “It was just that earlier I was thinking of what would I do if I had you in my room all to myself.”

At that, the gentle giant smiled at you, understanding why you were laughing. He crawled towards you, his face a few inches from yours. You were smiling but your face grew warm.

“So is it a ‘yes’?,” he asked, though his lips were drawing in close to yours.

“Y-yes-mmph,” his lips had closed in on yours and you felt his hands come up to your shoulders. Sliding off the covers from your body, Beel gently laid you back on the bed. You wrapped your arms around him as he coaxed your mouth open with a bit of prodding from his tongue. You could taste the sweetness of the snacks he had earlier as your tongues became entangled. You gasped when he pulled away.

Beelzebub set his focus on leaving kisses on your neck, starting a trail. He got to your breasts and cupped them in his hands, firmly squeezing them. A squeal escaped from your lips when you felt his wet tongue teasing your nipple. He sucked it into his mouth, pulling before letting it go with a pop.

"Ahhaaa, Beel! Please," you pleaded as he devoured your chest. You couldn't take it with him pulling, twisting, and sucking on your sensitive nubs. Your hands had moved to his forearms and you held a firm grip on them as Beel sucked away.

With a final tug, he left your poor nipples alone, going back to his task of leaving butterfly kisses on your body. Your body trembled with ecstasy but soon jolted from a shock when you felt a wet appendage lapping at your swollen clit.

Once Beel had finished leaving you kisses, he came across your pussy, still wet and glistening from when you were masturbating to him. His eyes darkened as his mind drifted back to that scene of you pleasuring yourself, seeing your delectable juices dripping your core.

He just knew that he had to taste you. To devour such a pretty, pink platter that was meant for him to sample. As soon as his tongue made contact with your clit, he felt you jump but he continued to lap at it, enjoying the taste and fragrance you gave off. You squirmed and your pants started to fill the room. Your toes curled and your feet had a hard time not slipping off your sheets as you encouraged Beel to keep going.

His tongue parted your puffy, pussy lips and he noticed your legs trembling. So he hooked his hands underneath your knees, spreading them further to her better access. He let your legs rest on his shoulders, all the while keeping his mouth on you.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck," you chanted over and over as your back arched, wanting to rub your sex over his tongue. You could feel yourself coming undone and on the verge of cumming. Beel's member twitched against the thin fabric of his swim shorts as he could tell your release was imminent, but...

Reluctantly, he pulled away from your pussy. He really wanted you to release all your tasty juices over his cock. He wiped away the mix of his saliva and your own cream from his chin.

You groaned but it turned into a squeak when Beel crawled back on top of you. Your legs were still over his shoulders and so you felt your body being folded in half but it wasn't too uncomfortable. But it aroused you more as you could feel his bulge heavy against your sex. You wanted it inside, for it to stretch your walls as you take every inch Beel gave you. For you to cream all over it so you could lick it off him and he could do it all over again.

Beelzebub's lips pressed against yours and you wasted no time parting your lips so his tongue could share the taste of your pussy. You could feel Beel's hands fumbling to pull down his shorts to let his cock finally breath. His lips never left yours, even as he guided his cock to your hole. You had braced yourself but was pleasantly surprised when he sanked into you with ease, but it still raised a moan out of you as your wall stretched to accommodate him.

Beel broke the kiss to let out a hissing sound as your pussy took him in so smoothly. He could feel you clenching around him, wanting to greedily take in more. But he was fully seated inside you, his balls pressed firmly against the plumpness of your ass.

"Shit...(Y/N), you feel so fucking amazing," he said as he recaptured your lips with his and rocked his hips to get a little friction going. He pulled back until only half of his dick was inside and slammed back into you. He repeated the action a few more times, drawing out moans that ended up getting swallowed up by him.

You pulled away from the kiss to cry out freely as he set a hard, quick pace as his hips connected with yours repeatedly. The slapping sound of your skin colliding overcome the sounds of your moans and cries. Beel couldn't help but groan at the way your pussy tightened around him with every thrust. Your body trembled against his as the heat became overwhelming. Your hands scrambled to grip at something, changing from scratching at Beelzebub's back or balling up your sheets into your fist, as you feared that the pleasure was going to take you away.

The seams were tearing and Beel could feel you were close as your pussy convulsed around him. So he sat up, holding your legs up, and pounded away at you. Your moans turned to screams and chants of Beel's name as his cock wrecked you.

"Beeeeel! I'm cumming, cumming!," you screamed, but it didn't deter him even as your released overflowed on his cock. The consistent clenching of your pussy finally drove him over the edge and his seed coated the inside of your walls, a deep growl erupted from him as he pressed his cock deep inside you.

With the both of you spent for the moment, Beel slipped out of you and collapsed beside you. However, he wrapped his arms around you to bring you closer. You sighed contently, feeling very much satiated as well as Beelzebub.

You felt lips pressing against your forehead and giggled before giving Beel a chaste kiss on the lip.

"That was amazing," you smiled. You saw his cheeks redden and the hug tightens.

"I-I would like to do that again...maybe sometime," spoke the blushing giant as he looked into your eyes.

The tips of your ears turning red as you agreed.

You figured this boat nightmare wasn't too bad as you snuggled up to Beel's chest, wondering if you had the courage to say you like him.

You saved the thought for another day to ponder later.

[standingappablog]

I have theories I would like to share with y’all:

-We are left not knowing the fate of Marty and Nora, so I have some ideas of what could have happened to them.

Nora:

1.The most obvious theory, and probably the most likely is that she is in fact dead. With Rachel talking about her in the past tense and wearing her old runners it seems like she died saving her in the shark attack. Rachel also mentions that “their story” doesn’t end well. She also references at the beginning of her interview about how she treated Nora. Perhaps she felt guilty about how she treated her in their last few weeks together.

2.Now this one I know seems like a reach but, the shark attack was staged by gretchen to get Nora off the island so the experiment isnt exposed to the girls. Nora “dies” in the attack, therefore Leah has no way of blaming her. So to everyone else Nora is dead, which is why Rachel speaks of her in the past tense. (Again I’m leaning towards the her actually dying in the shark attack)

3. Or Nora could be completely fine and wasn’t interviewed because she was an informant.

Martha:

1.Now really we don’t know what happens to her. (So what I’m about to say is complete speculation) The only hint that we get is Agent Young going through her things in an attempt to find blackmail against her family. This makes us assume that she is either dead or in critical condition. Out of all of the girls towards the end of the season, the two who seem to be struggling the most are Leah and Martha. Shaken up by killing a living creature and facing the reality that she was abused as a child, makes me think Marty may have tried hurting herself. Probably towards the end of their stay on the island. Marty’s parents presumably signed her up for a relaxing time away with her best friend. So Gretchen, needing blackmail against the family so they wont sue her for whatever happened to Marty, makes me believe something like this happened to her.

Or

2. Marty’s death could have been an accident like Noras and Janettes, how? There is many possibilities, I mean they are surviving on an deserted island so exposure, sickness falling from a high place..getting lost. Ect.

Shelby:

We are left with a lot of questions about Shelby.

Her ankle:

1. The First shot we see of her in the facility is her ankle, so when I finished watching the first time, I assumed she must have ran after Nora to help save Rachel, this one is easy to believe but her leg doesn’t look like it was bitten by a shark, there isn’t any visible wounds, so I’m doubtful of this possibility.Also her injury seems fresh enough and the girls where supposed to be on the island for three months, so I doubt she got it in the shark attack, which took place three weeks into their time on the island.

2.We know that Shelby was suspicious throughout her interview, so maybe she might have tried escaping the facility beforehand and was tackled?Or she fell? So this happening before hand could explain why the investigators mentioned they weren’t going to go easy on her in her interview. She was also described to be in a pretty fragile mental state, and they didn’t know what version of her they where going to get.

3. Shelby hurt her ankle trying to save Martha. Like I mentioned before Marty may have died or got badly injured by hurting herself. Maybe Shelby was there and tried saving her, somewhat similar to the situation with her friend Becca.

4.Another theory I saw was that Toni may have accidentally hurt her like she did Reagan. There has been a lot of speculation if Toni and Shelby are on good terms or not. Maybe Marty’s death/ injuries become a conflict between them since she was present. Or a conflict about something entirely different could have cuased her ankle injury

5.Or simply she could have just fallen before her rescue from the island lol. Though her ankle is the first shot we get of her in the facility. That’s what makes me think it’s significant.

Her hair:

1. The two possibilities that I could think of is that, her hair was just so matted and unkept by the end of the three months that there was just no salvaging it so it was shaved, or:

2.Shelbys hair seemed to be her form of releasing her frustration. We know that her mental health declines after the shark attack, so she may in upset/frustration cut it all off or continues to take chunks out of her hair as a form of release.

Leah and Shelby (+possibly Dot and Agent Young)

Leah:

1.After the shark attack, if Nora does die I think Leah will have a difficult time convincing the others, especially Rachel that Nora is some sort of agent.

2. The groups friend just died, so hearing from Leah that Nora was in on whatever is happening to them won’t be taken well. Certainly not by Rachel, I can imagine Leah saying this about Nora would make her furious. They will probably assume that she is once again having a mental break, and won’t listen to her.

3.Even if Nora doesn’t die, she was told to do as much as she can to keep everyone in the dark, so I wouldn’t put it past her making Leah look like she is going crazy.

Shelby:

1.At first I don’t think Shelby will believe Leah, but she will probably slowly begin to suspect things like Leah did. The two have an understanding, as we where shown, Shelby knows what it feels like to breakdown, and have everyone think they are crazy. But she knows in that moment she isn’t crazy, and neither is Leah. So when she is rescued and quarantined in the facility it will probably convince her completely.

Anaphylactic shock:

1.Shelby going into anaphylactic shock. How did she even go into anaphylactic shock? Where they given food in their rooms and Gretchen would have to have known that she is allergic. Right?

2.I think Shelby left a time on the note to Leah for her to escape. She maybe was able to order shellfish to her room, and then would eat it during the time Leah was going to escape.

Or:

1. I think MAYBE Shelby and Dot figured out what was going on before being rescued. We see that Dot orders a plate of seafood, which she barely touches. What if somehow Dot got the seafood to Shelby, maybe by leaving it underneath the table and shelby taking it back to her room after her interview. So when Leah tries to escape she eats the seafood, which sets off the alarm and distracts the guards. And with Shelby leaving a time on the note for Leah to escape, she would know when to eat the Seafood. (Another reach I know)

And:

-Agent Young could also have helped them. We saw that he sympathised with the girls and that he was the one keeping tabs on all of them. Maybe he knowingly let the girls do this without telling anyone, making it easier for them to pass notes and for Leah to escape.

They all know:

-Another possibility is that Leah somehow convinces the others that something is going on. And plan out how to figure out what really is going on. All of the girls get their stories straight, and they purposely leave out parts that could be used against them. Playing the investigators. I’m less inclined to believe this one since Shelby gave the note to Leah telling her she was right all along, why would she do that if they all knew anyways?

Toni and Shelby:

I think a lot of us suspect that the twos releationship is a little rocky by the time they get to the facility. (I have another post explaining why I think they aren’t on good terms currently)

1.Like I mentioned before Toni and Shelbys conflict may involve Marty, with her dying or hurting herself, Toni who we have seen can have huge outbursts when she is upset, could blame Shelby for not doing enough ,because maybe she was present when it happened. So maybe Toni irrationally blames Shelby for whatever happened to Marty.

2.This irrational anger could also be the cause of Shelbys ankle injury. Of course I don’t think Toni would ever purposely hurt Shelby, but she could accidentally, just as she did with her previous girlfriend.

3.A theory I’ve seen suggested a few times is that, they staged their break up to protect each other. If they seem like they aren’t together anymore to the investigators, they can’t be used against one another. (I personally think this one is hella cute)

4. Another possible conflict is Tonis anger issues affecting their relationship just as it did with Reagan, Tonis outbursts may be too much for Shelby and that may become an issue.

5. Shelby not being able to come to terms with her sexuality. This one isn’t as likely, because as far as everyone is concerned they are stuck on the island for god knows how long. The idea of not going home any time soon only seems to make Shelby want to explore herself more. And everyone I feel like would be completely supportive.

Although:

-Martha may have an issue, not with the fact that they are together but more that when they found food instead of taking it back to everyone, they hooked up. Leaving Martha to kill the goat by herself, when she really didn’t need to. Maybe this could lead to Toni having to choose who’s side to take, her girlfriend or best friend. (Martha has “you and us” mentality with Shelby after her homophobic remarks. Toni also has told Martha “since when where there sides?”)

Annnnnnddd that is all, I’ve been thinking about this for a while and I felt like typing it all out, I’d love to know what everyone thinks and your theories!

[writingfeatherduster]

Hmm a sansby prompt? If you want something slightly more angst filled, maybe have Grillby be the knight in shining armor after someone won’t take no for an answer from Sans? Or maybe just some cute fluff, like cuddling while watching a movie :3

As I like to say in these situations- why not both?

Keep You Safe

Word count: 2667 Summary: When someone won’t take no for an answer, Grillby steps in. Warnings: Sexual assault SERIOUSLY, MIND THE WARNINGS

Sans always hated it when there weren’t any available seats at the bar. It was great that Grillby’s was getting good business these days, but it also meant he’d have to wait a bit to talk to his favorite fire monster, and he couldn’t even watch him while he worked very well. The skeleton caught Grillby’s eye as he came in and gave him a little wave and a wink before making his way towards one of the booths closest to the bar. Grillby gave him a nod and got back to mixing the line of drinks he was working on. Sans couldn’t help but notice that Grillby looked nervous. The skeleton frowned a bit and kept a careful eye on him, praying that a stool at the bar would open up soon so he could help. He was watching the bartender so intently that he barely noticed when another monster came and sat next to him in the booth.

“Well hi there,” the monster said with a toothy grin. Like, really toothy. Because she was a shark monster. She was probably wearing more makeup than clothes, and the look she gave Sans was positively predatory. The skeleton could already see where this was going.

“Lemme stop you right there.” Sans scooted sideways in the booth, putting a bit more distance between himself and the stranger. God, this lady reeked of perfume. “I appreciate it, but I’m not really looking for any’body’ to hand out with right now, heh.”

Sans knew he was hilarious, but he still thought she laughed too hard at that. Instead of backing off, she inched closer to him. “C’mon, cutie, don’t be that way! Besides, you didn’t need to look. I found you first~!”

“Unfortunately,” Sans grumbled. He moved over again, finding his shoulder against the wall. “Really, lady, not interested tonight.”

“You know, you’re really hot, for a guy with no skin.” The shark monster moved in closer, turning towards Sans and putting one hand on the wall next to his head. “Don’t be so cold. Why don’t you let me buy you a drink?”

With the shark monster leaning over him, it occurred to Sans just how bad this was. He’d teleport out, but he couldn’t focus on a location with this monster’s damn perfume giving him a headache. He was well and truly trapped, hidden by unsuspecting crowds of monsters and a secluded booth. “Answer’s no,” he tried, “Back off.”

She laughed at him again, suddenly slipping a hand under Sans’s shirt. He slapped it away, but she just grabbed his wrist and pinned it to the table, moving in again to rub his ribcage. “You really are just bones and magic, aren’t you? There are so many places I could get inside you, hehe~. Come on skeleton, let me show you some real fun~.”

Sans froze as her hand started to wander downward. This couldn’t be happening. Fuck, no, fuck fuck fuck fuck-

WHOOSH! BANG!

The monster over Sans went still as the bar went silent, eyes wide. There was a dark char mark on the wall above the booth’s table. A few inches to the left, and it would have hit her square in the back. She withdrew her hand and looked behind her, eyes widening further as she paled.

Grillby was standing in front of the booth, and he looked pissed. His fire was burning higher and hotter than Sans had ever seen, the heat radiating off him as his entire body crackled. The glare he fixed the shark monster was murderous, and to make things more frightening, he’d summoned an arc of fireballs over his head, ready for a fight. “Get. Your hands. Off him,” he snarled darkly. His usually warm voice had taken on a dark, steely edge that Sans had never heard from him before. In that moment, the skeleton was fully convinced that Grillby was capable of killing.

The shark monster was quick to comply, scrambling away from Sans and stumbling over themselves as they hastily stood from the booth. “Right! I’ll- um- I’ll be g-going the- ah!”

Grillby grabbed her by her neck, dragging her forward. The shark monster cried out as her moist skin steamed, drying out and threatening to blister. The fire monster paid that no mind. “Oh? And where do you think you’re going?” he asked threateningly. “We’re not done here. I think you and I need to have a little c h a t.” He raised his hand, the fireballs moving in closer. The monster whimpered at their heat, struggling as the grip on her neck tightened.

Ding! You’re blue now!

The shark monster was suddenly pulled down, out of Grillby’s grasp. As soon as she was free, she made a break for the door, terrified. The bartender moved like he was going to pursue her, but a wall of blue bones appeared in front of him, making him stop. Grillby stepped back, glancing towards the booth.

Sans had his hand up, both pupils gone and shaken. “H-hey, Grillbz? Why don’t we just calm down a sec? I’m okay, see? Nothin’ happened, s’all good.”

The fire monster paused, looking back at the door. After a moment, his gaze dropped and the fireballs he summoned disappeared in wisps of smoke. His hands were shaking. He turned back to the booth and walked towards Sans.

“Did she hurt you?” Grillby mumbled, hesitating by the table. All at once, the calm, caring Grillby that Sans knew had come back, eyes full of fearful concern. “I’m so sorry, Sans, I-i didn’t see her come in. I should’ve been keeping a better eye out, I know this booth can be secluded and-”

Sans’s pupils slowly lit up again as he relaxed. “Nah, Grillbz, I’m fine,” he reassured. He let out a shaky sigh as he finally relaxed. “Not gonna lie, that was pretty intense. Never thought I’d ever get to see you so ‘fired’ u- whoa!”

Grillby suddenly pulled Sans out of his seat, wrapping his arms around him and burying his face in Sans’s hoodie. The monster was shaking all over. He was angry, but when he’d seen Sans cornered, he’d been so scared. The skeleton had insisted he wasn’t hurt, but Grillby found himself summoning small flames of green magic anyway, letting them dance over Sans as they checked for any injury.

Sans huffed fondly, the last of the tension leaving his bones as he returned the embrace. Grillby’s natural scent of smoke was much better than sickeningly sweet perfume. “I’m okay, Grillby, I promise. Maybe we should go somewhere quiet to chill for a sec?”

“Agreed,” Grillby mumbled into his jacket. He pulled back slightly, then suddenly picked Sans up.

Sans squeaked, then laughed. “I can walk, y’know.”

“I know,” was all Grillby said as he carried Sans back into the kitchen, bringing him to the small table in the back corner. Instead of setting him down, Grillby sat in one of the chairs and kept Sans in his lap, never releasing him from that warm, protective embrace. Safe and secluded, he let his guard down a bit, one hand coming up to cup Sans’s cheekbones. “I’m sorry. That- that was unlike me. I just…”

“Hey, I get it.” Sans brought his hand up to cover Grillby’s. “You don’t need to be apologizing. I should be thanking you. If you hadn’t come over she probably would’ve… she…” The full reality of what had nearly happened started to sink in and Sans started trembling. “She probably would’ve… fuck, what the fuck…” Tears started to fill Sans’s eyes as the last of the adrenaline drained from him. “Holy shit, I almost got raped. I almost got raped. What the fuck?”

Grillby pulled Sans close again, rubbing his back soothingly as the skeleton gripped his shirt. “I’ve got you, breathe,” he mumbled gently. There was the breakdown he’d been anticipating. “It’s okay if you need to cry, I’ve got you. We’re alone. You’re safe now.”

That was exactly what Sans needed to hear. He sobbed quietly into Grillby’s shirt, trembling as he tried to process what exactly just happened. What nearly happened. What could have happened, if Grillby hadn’t swooped in and put the fear of whatever God might be out there into that scummy pervert. He slowly became aware that Grillby was humming, the low vibrations soothing in Sans’s skull. The skeleton sniffled and wiped at his eyes. Deep breaths. He was safe. Deep breaths.

“I’m going to close early,” Grillby mumbled gently. “Will you be alright if I leave you here a moment?”

Sans nodded. “Yeah, I-i think I’m good. I’m just gonna go home.”

“No.” Grillby pulled away, meeting Sans’s eyes. “You are in no condition to be using your shortcuts, and I’m not going to let you walk in case that- ...in case it isn’t safe, this time of night. Go ahead and text Papyrus. You’re going to be staying with me this evening. I-if that’s alright,” he amended quickly. The last thing he wanted to do to Sans was force him into something, especially after what had transpired that evening.

Sans didn’t feel forced at all, though. He gave Grillby a weak smile. “That… that sounds nice. Yeah. I wouldn’t mind that. You go close up, I’ll text Papyrus.”

Relief filled the bartender and he stood, careful not to drop Sans as he transferred the skeleton to the chair. “I’ll be right back,” he assured as he straightened up. With that, he walked back out to his restaurant to herd customers out.

Sans had never seen the inside of Grillby’s apartment before. He knew the bartender lived in an apartment above the restaurant, and that the stairs lead directly into the kitchen, but that was about it. It was a little smaller than Sans had anticipated. Most of the space was taken up by the living room, with a cozy-looking couch piled with pillows and a bookshelf that looked ready to collapse under the sheer number of books that had been stacked on it. A small kitchenette was tucked into the corner of the apartment, and it looked like there was only one bedroom and a bathroom down the short hallway. It took Sans no time at all to make himself comfortable on the couch, kicking off his pink slippers and nesting into the cushy throw pillows.

Grillby gave the skeleton a fond smile, taking the comforter off the back of the couch and draping it over Sans’s shoulders. “Would you like me to turn on the television? I don’t have much in the way of movies, but my niece brought me a copy of a human show that I find to be fairly interesting. I mostly watch for the music.”

“Heh, so long as there are jokes in it, I’m down,” Sans replied with a shrug. He would probably fall asleep part of the way through it, but some background noise wouldn’t hurt.

Grillby kneeled next to the television and pulled out a small booklet, flipping through it to find the first disk. “Here we are,” he mumbled to himself as he found the one he wanted, getting everything set up before taking the remote and sitting on the opposite end of the couch. The disk loaded and a colorful title lit up the screen.

Sans tilted his head, mildly interested. “‘Steven Universe’, huh? No offense, but I never pegged you as a guy that’d be into cartoons.”

“It’s an occasional indulgence,” Grillby mumbled with a shrug. Was he blushing?

Sans snickered. “It’s nothing to be embarrassed about, Grillbz. If you like it then it must be a good show. Let’s see what it’s about.”

Grillby smiled a bit, then hit play, relaxing back into the pillows. “I think you’ll like this one. Humans have such interesting concepts of magic…”

Four episodes later, Sans was hooked, watching the screen intently. He had to get himself one of those novelty backpacks. As he watched the protagonists fight evil breakfast foods, he turned to tell Grillby a joke, only to find himself meeting the bartender’s eyes. Grillby blushed and quickly looked back at the screen, but it was too late. He was caught staring.

Sans just chuckled. “Uh, can I help you with somethin’?”

“Sorry,” Grillby huffed, adjusting his glasses. At some point he’d undone his tie, letting it hang loose around his neck. He’d slipped off his shoes and pulled his knees up, hugging a pillow as he sat curled up on the couch. There was something about seeing Grillby this way that made Sans’s soul feel light. It just felt so… domestic, sitting there and watching one of the bartender’s favorite shows together. Grillby cleared his throat, breaking Sans from his thoughts as he continued. “I’m… still worried about you. Are you certain you’re alright?”

“Yeah,” Sans replied automatically, but that didn’t seem to reassure the fire monster at all.

“Sans,” Grillby sighed, reaching for the remote and pausing the show, “Please, be honest with me. Are you sure you’re okay?”

Sans took a deep breath and thought about it. After a long moment, he finally answered. “Okay, maybe not,” Sans admitted, “But I’m doing better. This,” he said as he gestured around himself, “Is helping. Like, a lot. I think this is exactly what I needed.”

Grillby nodded a bit, satisfied. “Well, is there anything more I can do for you?”

“I’m good.” Sans shrugged a bit, then took another look at Grillby. The bartender was great at reading Sans, but sometimes he forgot how good Sans had gotten at reading him in return. Grillby was tense, shoulders hitched up slightly as he hugged the pillow like it was going to run away. “Is there something I can do for you?” Sans asked, voice gentling as he did. “That scared the soul out of you, too, didn’t it?”

Grillby looked away again, feeling guilty. “I’m not the one that got harassed, Sans.”

“Nah, just the one who watched his best friend get sexually assaulted,” Sans pointed out. “We were both ‘rattled’, heh. Lemme help you out, too. Somethin’ I can do for ya?”

“Well,” Grillby mumbled, “Can I… is it alright if I hold you again?”

That hadn’t been what Sans was expecting, but he was more than up for it. “Sure. You’re gonna have to let that pillow breathe first, though.”

Grillby chuckled and let the pillow drop to the floor, lowering his knees and shifting so he was reclining at an angle before opening his arms to Sans. Sans crawled over and settled himself in the bartender’s lap, arms wrapped around his torso and head resting on his chest. Grillby pressed play on the remote, starting the show again before letting his arms fall gently over Sans’s back as he held him close. Sans felt the warmth envelope him and sighed, content. “Hey, Grillbz?”

“Hm?” Grillby looked down at him with a tilt of his head. Sans’s soul melted a bit under the gently, caring gaze. God, this monster was going to be the death of him.

“Thank you,” Sans mumbled.

Grillby gave him a small smile, bringing one hand up to briefly cup the back of Sans’s skull. “You’re welcome. So long as I’m here, I’m going to keep you safe. You mean the world to me, Sans.”

And oh, if that didn’t make Sans feel like the luckiest monster alive.

They settled into a comfortable silence, watching the cartoon play on. As the night wore on, Sans found himself starting to doze in Grillby’s arms, yawning as he fought to keep his eye sockets open. “Hey, Grillbz?” he mumbled, “Maybe we should…” He trailed off as he looked up, smiling. Grillby’s head rested against the back of the couch, the fire monster fast asleep. Sans levitated the remote to himself, determined not to wake Grillby as he turned the TV off before cuddling closer and closing his eyes. Who needed beds, anyway?

Grillby was the warmest pillow he could ask for.

I hope you enjoyed this one! If you did like it, why not reblog/leave a comment to let me know your favorite part? As always, thank you for reading!

[thecarnivorousmuffinmeta]

Who is more powerful Bella or Renesmee? They both managed to manipulate the situation in their favor from what I realized, things like Bella surviving Edward, becoming protected by the Cullens, forming a friendship with the wolves, overcoming Victoria's army with the allies and becoming a vampire, while Renesmee probably he used hers present to ensure his own survival. Both are powerful, but who is more and why?

I feel like I just got asked Bear vs. Shark: Who Would Win?

Well, I’ll do my best.

Clarification on Bella’s Gift

First, all of what you list isn’t what I think Bella’s power does. Bella is extremely powerful, but she does not seem able to actively manipulate reality or even the feelings of others.

Why do I think this? If Bella had power on that scale her life would have gone very differently.

Edward’s obsession is actively bad for Bella’s health, it’s very up in the air throughout the entire series whether or not he’s going to eat her. As it is, even without eating her, he puts her in dire peril many times over and it’s very touch and go even in “Breaking Dawn” whether he’ll turn her into a vampire (thus following a direct order from the Volturi and saving Bella’s, his own, and his coven’s life) or not.

While the Cullens do protect her, they also do things like abandon her in New Moon, unintentionally leaving her to the mercy of Laurent and Victoria. Had the wolves not existed or had it still only been Sam, Bella would be in Laurent’s belly. I’m not saying the Cullens knew this would happen or had an imperative to stick around (as it is this was Bella’s only chance of getting out of becoming a vampire) but it does not point to them protecting her above all else.

The wolves are sacred warriors and protectors of their land. They consider Forks under their protection. Not all the wolves are enamored by Bella, notably Leah, but they protect her all the same as they are honor bound to do so. It really had very little to do with Bella as a person.

Bella did nothing to overcome Victoria’s army. She stabbed herself because she heard it in a story, Victoria gave her a weird look, then Edward spewed hot gossip until Victoria killed herself. The army itself was defeated by the wolves and the rest of the Cullens, who were in part able to do so because Riley and Victoria had no idea what the fuck they were doing,  created an untrained army too large and too young, and it all went to hell as soon as they were on the battlefield.

Bella’s becoming a vampire was extremely hard won. Edward dutifully avoids that possibility at every angle.

First, Alice up front tells him that either Bella will become a vampire or she’ll die (and by die Alice means most likely Edward will eat her). Edward says, “No, Alice is wrong!” and plans out this meticulous, ridiculous, fantasy in which he’ll bask in Bella’s presence but inevitably leave her to live a normal human life. He then also fantasizes about murdering her future human husband in graphic detail, but never mind that.

Then we get James, Alice tells Edward that the surefire way she knows to get James to back off is to turn Bella. He’ll get bored and leave. Edward refuses in horror, likely condemning Bella’s entire family to death (if Bella hadn’t rushed to James, then James very likely would have taken Renee then Charlie hostage). As it is, Bella nearly dies, is nearly turned into a vampire then and there, but Edward sucks the venom out. He almost kills her, but thank god, she’s not a vampire.

Then Edward gets to leave in New Moon, as we all know, that doesn’t work out.

Bella then tries to get Alice to turn her, Alice makes a tentative offer but doesn’t have the control required. Aro nearly turns Bella, but chooses to be nice to Carlisle but notes that Bella’s time on this Earth as a human is now extremely limited. Carlisle lays down the law and says he’s turning Bella, Edward throws a fit in the other room. He still refuses to turn Bella into a vampire.

In Breaking Dawn, he begins the novel either delusionally believing that Bella remaining human is totally fine and the Volturi (who have clearly been keeping close tabs on Bella, we see this with the wedding, and Jane saw human Bella not a few months earlier and implied they’d be coming back shortly) will never notice (nineteen, forty, what’s the difference?) or else is gaslighting Bella into thinking she has a future as a human. 

Neither option is good, and Bella nearly does agree to college, she’s tempted on the honeymoon.

Then of course, Bella gets pregnant with Rosemary’s Baby and the issue is forced. Even then, Bella very nearly doesn’t survive and Edward... well, had he not been the only one in the room, he probably would have let Carlisle do it. As it is, a part of him I’m sure was very much holding out for Bella’s humanity. That he was discussing Bella surviving her pregnancy, even if he and Jake forced the abortion, with Jake is very telling.

Point being, Bella becoming a vampire was not at all a surefire thing and not influenced by a gift. If it was, she probably would have been turned in the James incident.

And wow, that got long.

What do I think Bella’s power can do? It can shield her from other, mental, vampiric abilities and there’s some aspect of precognition. It’s still very very powerful, but not quite reality warping.

A Note on Renesmee

As clarification, I think Renesmee’s gift is more than showing people pretty pictures.

Renesmee vs. Bella

Well, in a sense both of their gifts ensure they’ll never fight.

They’re all about defense, rather than offense, Renesmee especially. Renesmee’s gift is such that people want to a) protect her and b) fight for her when necessary.

Presumably, were Bella to wish to harm Renesmee, Renesmee’s gift would say “Unthink that thought” and then Bella would think Renesmee’s the greatest thing since sliced bread.

This is essentially what happens with Edward, Jacob, and perhaps Bella (who despite never wanting children and having the world’s most terrifying pregnancy does not choose to abort). 

As for Renesmee, I believe she has a deep and near unconditional love for her mother. From Renesmee’s perspective, Bella is the only one to unconditionally love and protect her. Yes, there’s Rosalie and Esme, but Renesmee doesn’t meet them until she’s born and Rosalie projects the human child she never had onto Renesmee. I imagine Renesmee, who is decidedly not human, picks up on that. More, Esme and Rosalie don’t face the same trials that Bella does. Renesmee puts Bella through hell, unwillingly, and knows that she’s hurting her mother in the womb. Bella loves and protects her anyway, risking losing everyone and everything she loves in her life, and I imagine Renesmee has never forgotten that.

Even when Bella abandons her to go have tepid sex in a cabin with Edward. 

So it’s hard for me to ever picture a Renesmee vs. Bella fight, because I just can’t come up with a scenario where Renesmee would ever want to harm Bella. I mean, Bella too, but honestly I think Renesmee loves her mother more than Bella loves Renesmee. Renesmee’s nice and all, but while the latter half of Breaking Dawn focuses on her, it’s also about Bella prancing around being an amazing vampire.

But I guess if they ever did fight...

I really want to cop out and say I don’t know because Bella’s power is so damn unpredictable. If Bella’s under direct threat from Renesmee, who knows what the hell will even happen. 

However, if you’re going to make me choose I say Renesmee is the winner. Her gift might make it such that, if they must fight, then Bella will become convinced that she must sacrifice herself for Renesmee’s survival. Given this is Bella, this is hardly out of line with her usual thinking. 

As it is though, I think both their gifts would just make the fight not happen in the first place.

[ryuichirou]

Lord God Savior of All Ryu, I ask for but one noble request. lol i just wanna see all your AUs. Like, I always here about them in replies and stuff but I've almost never seen what they actually look like. So if you could just tag pics of them or doodle (they can be super bad 30 sec doodles too, it don't matter to me) them, I would be the happiest, most joyful little shit ever.

Anon!! Thank you for being so interested in our AUs and wanting to learn more about them. It was a very good excuse for us to go through the list of the AUs, doodle them, revisit some of the older ones, etc. So yeah, your wish is granted lol

Here’s the majority of them, we decided not to include those that we’ve barely talked about and thought out... I’ve put tags for those AUs where we have at least something posted. Most of them are something we haven’t even talked about at all and they don’t have a single sketch, but I liked drawing chibis for them way too much. Sorry, I used your ask lol

We have a general tag for our aus and specific ones for some of them, but sometimes an au from here is not tagged separately, so you might have to use this general tag...I tried to fix it, I don’t think I missed anything, so it should be ok now! ;w;

1. Space AU. It’s a story about a space expedition.. which turned out to be not exactly what everyone planned thanks to Erwin. What a commander! 

2. Tribal AU. It’s a story about Eren becoming a part of the tribe where Erwin and Levi live. 

3. Babysitter AU. Levi is a babysitter to Eren and Zeke, unfortunately for Zeke, who’s 17 and not exactly thrilled about being babied. Sometimes there’s kid Erwin too. We’ve never posted anything related to this AU, I think, and I don’t think we will. There’s another AU related to this one, but 19yo Eren from the paths (he has the memory of the manga events) keeps kid Eren company as an invisible ghost, while others think that kid Eren is cursed or something.

4. SnK AU. A classical one, where Eren has dreams about the plot of SnK, but when the story stops progressing, he decides to kidnap Levi to make the plot go on. Erwin finds out later... and keeps Levi in the basement because he wants to know the ending too lmao plus it’s hot.

5. Mines AU. Erwin gathered a team for his wonderful plan to find a treasure, but it’s not like the rest of the team needs to know where they’re really going. Zeke’s particularly terrified to find that out. Despite its name, they spend the majority of time in the forest. Also, there’s a timeskip of 11 years. 

6. AU with Neetwin who’s a history teacher. We don’t tag this one though, it’s not like it’s our AU. So now it’s a Neetwin tag, although one of the drawings is with adult Levi... eh, who cares. 

7. CC AU (cleaning company). Levi works in a cleaning company and cleans up Neetwin and hobo Eren’s apts. They need a lot of work. Yes, they make their apts even dirtier to make Levi spend more time there. 

8. Prison AU. Damn this one is good... we came up with it before reading the timeskip in the manga, so Eren’s appearance doesn’t really match his age, he’s 17 lol Levi is a mafia member who goes to prison because he need to kill one of the inmates (who later became Zeke) on Erwin’s (Levi’s boss) request. Eren’s his personal guard, although Eren works as a regular guard too.

9. King Kong AU. It’s an AU where the Beast Titan is King Kong lmao Zeke is having fun killing dinosaurs... Levi, not so much. Thank Erwin for his wonderful plan of going to this island.

10. Rus AU, basically just characters living in Russia. Because ofc we will have this type of a setting... Damn, I thought we drew this one more often, huh. 

11. Sea AU. Mainly our modern AU, we use it as a base for other modern stuff for the most part. Levi’s getting two boifrond rings, he lives with Erwin, Eren visits them often, Zeke bitches a lot, fun times with and without Zeke, stuff like that. There’s also a subplot (11.5) where Eren gets “kidnapped” by a witch, so Zevi have to find him and bring him back. Titans exist in this AU, Eren and Zeke are titans, and all of them have military training, but Erwin and Levi retired some time ago. We don’t have a tag for just a modern setting, though. 

12. Cult AU. Eren lives on a farm and has a whole village of his followers. He also has cursed animals... and I think we’ve told about some of the plot points in replies. Erwin’s really into all this cult stuff because it affects reality for real, so he asks Levi to follow rituals, although Levi came to ask Eren to go back to normal life and finish the fucking school. 

13. Serial killer AU. Eren’s a serial killer, duh. Never posted anything with this one, unfortunately, but Eren got disappointed in the police when he was a child, so he decided to fix the situation himself, while Erwin and Levi, as a part of a special department, investigate his “fixing”. It also has a time skip. I really need to redraw at least one sketch...

14. Hospital AU. Levi gets into Marley trying to make Eren go back, but it’s not that simple because Eren doesn’t want to lol Basically canonverse with this small change.

15. Hobo AU. Eren and Levi are hobos, Zeke wants his brother to stop living under a fucking bridge. Later Erwin takes both of them under his roof because he really likes Levi, but he can’t leave Eren alone.

16. Doggies AU. AU where Eren’s a wolf and Erwin’s a doggo. Levi got Erwin because he was a retiring trained dog and sniffed enough drugs in his life, and Eren... his “owner” found him on the streets and lied to Levi about Eren being a dog. Later Eren turned into a magnificent beast and now he doesn’t want to leave. There’s also Zeke, but he belongs to Xavier. 

17. AU where Eren wants to become a mangaka. The first post is self-explanatory, although I’d probably make some changes now if I cared enough. There’s also a time skip where Eren ditched his manga and became hobo!Eren. His editor was pissed lol 

18. Scolopendra Eren AU. You know the drill, and I’ve talked about the plot in some of the replies. 

This post doesn’t show up on the tag for some reason.

19. Ghost Eren AU. I should’ve named it combini AU... Anyway, I’ve talked about this one a lot, although poor Erwin gets neglected a little bit lol it’s hard to compete with a ghost when you’re just a mere stalker... but a very invested one. Eren likes Erwin here, they’re vibing on the same malicious-towards-Levi wave. 

20. Shark Eren AU. It’s just for us for funs, Eren’s a shark, and Levi’s there to help him fight depression. Eren later escapes into the sea.

21. Midsommar AU. Levi and Erwin get an invite to go to the village from Yelena, Eren’s a part of a cult who is kinda attracted to one of the newcomers... Such a good movie, we need to draw them properly. Both Yeagerists and Eldians are a part of the cult, they don’t have any specific rules by which I categorised them... Although not all characters are present, and some of them (Jean, I think) are newcomers who will join the cult later. Sorry, I don’t remember much. 

22. Silent Hill AU. It started with Erwin peeking into Levi’s apartment, but now there’s Eren too... We haven’t thought out this one, I’m bad with Silent Hill AUs for some reason. 

23. House Eren AU. Eren’s a house, and we’ve explained how it works too, so just check out the tag. Levi actually lives there with Erwin, but I don’t remember if we’ve mentioned it or decided to skip this info. 

24. Eren pack AU. It’s an AU where Erens of all ages (6 of them, I believe) are a little bit feral, and they have wolf ears and tails, and they live in a specific place and Levi visits them every day and takes care of them. They love Levi. Here’s the only post that survived, and here’s a link for a twitter post which I never got back on tumblr after it got deleted. 

25. Trailer AU. The story is about Levi who has to live with Zeke for a month as his slave because Erwin lost him in a game of cards lol To be fair, Erwin lost a lot of money and their whole flat, and Zeke gave them a choice between that and Levi (he’s horny ok), and Levi agreed. Zeke even put Levi on a chain, although Levi doesn’t even try to escape...

26. Flower shop AU. Eren’s a plant, and he brings death to the whole planet. He keeps Levi alive though, as a treat for himself. We’ve explained some of the stuff in the replies. 

27. Blair Witch AU. It’s pretty much explained in this post, and if you saw the movie, there’s nothing for me to tell you. Everything that’s different from it is in the post lol 

28. Corpse AU. Eren’s a corpse, Levi’s a pathologist who works on difficult and mysterious cases alongside the police. Eren later comes to life along with a couple of other bodies...

29. Antichrist AU. Zevi adopt baby Eren, but Eren’s a fucking satan. He loves Levi, but Zeke... not so much. Zeke loves Eren to death, though. Eren would love to organise that, but first he needs to grow up a little bit. It doesn’t mean that he won’t torture his parents during his journey. And everyone else who interact with them.

30. This one doesn’t have a title, but it’s an AU where kid Eren went missing, and Levi goes into the forest to find him. Levi owns Erwin who’s a good doggo and helps him find Eren. It turns out Eren killed two adult dudes, and he has paths!Eren telling him what to do and how to do it... Paths!Eren has the memory of the canonverse.

31. Zombie apocalypse AU. There’s only one drawing with it though, but basically Levi builds himself a wonderful place to survive the apocalypse, and he keeps Zombie Erwin in the basement in hopes of Hange finding a cure. Then Eren joins just because he can and because Levi’s very awesome. Eren has a boner for the apocalypse and enjoys every second of it. 

32. No title, but Eren was casted away from the canon universe for the rumbling, and now he’s a mythological giant wolf who lives in a deep very old forest. He was very surprised to find out Levi exists in this universe... So he kidnapped him ❤️

33. Halloween AU. You’ve seen this one, it’s a story where Jean, Connie, Sasha and Eren get into the wrong house and find a ritual instead of a Halloween party... So after saving the child who, as it turns out, is not really a victim, they decide to ditch him at Eruri’s place.

34. Okusan AU. Levi’s a housewife, Erwin is a cuckold who’s really into adultery. He invites both Zeke and Eren from time to time to act as Levi’s husbands, and they (Levi and Erwin) almost get caught because the “husband” suddenly came home... Sorry, we’ve read too many doujinshis lol

35. Island AU. Erwin loves sending Levi to dangerous places to get souvenirs for himself, and now it’s time for Levi to get a crystal from a very isolated island full of strict rules in terms of interacting with outsiders. We have a cool idea for a two part drawing (like with our flower shop au), but it’ll take us ages to complete anything at this rate... I have like two sketches on Patreon for now, but damn this AU has so many cool visuals we wanna draw... It’s another cult AU with people living on Paradis (more like one village in the middle of the island), isolated from the rest of the world. They don’t welcome strangers, and Levi has three months to find and steal that crystal, although it’s not that simple.

36. Erewan. Not exactly a full AU, but Erewan’s a cursed animal plushie who kills people and loves Levi a lot. 

37. Cat AU. Everyone’s a cat (duh). Not really our AU, but it has its own tag, and it’s only asks. 

38. Tiny founder Eren AU?? Again, not really our AU, but now it has its own tag. 

I’ve also found the reply where I talk about how characters’ relationships work in some of the AUs, you can check it out too. I thought it was fitting for a master post.