#the resilience question is always: but did you develop resilience because that was the only way to deal with horrible things?

[countingnothings]

my boss hates his job, which, you know what, fair, but he’s decided that hating his job means he’s experiencing medical burnout and took three weeks of sick leave. he’s back now, and feeling better, and good for him! taking breaks when your body tells you to is important! but he asked me how long my burnout lasted and i had to tell him...neil...i quit my job in december 2021 to begin my recovery and this very week i am back to not being able to get off the couch just because i had some time-sensitive deliverables last week that elevated my stress levels and fucked with my routine. like yes everyone’s experiences are different, but also, i think i deserve to be just a little bit petty and tell you that hey actually, some of us have had serious work-induced crises and you having to listen to the needs of human seniors instead of writing your book about how great you are at communing with trees is not even remotely the same.

[photogirl894]

Crosshair + Names

I've had these thoughts floating around in my mind since last week because of one big moment that happened in the very first episode and I finally just wanted to share them.

**Spoilers below the cut if you haven't seen the first 3 episodes of TBB season 3**

When it comes to using someone's name, that usually means you have some level of respect for the person or, depending on your relationship with them or the kind of person you are, it can portray how close you are with said person.

Now, let's look at this in the case of Crosshair and the Bad Batch.

There are only 2 names he uses frequently:

Hunter and Wrecker.

Not to say that he doesn't respect Tech or Echo, but I just get the feeling he's not as close to them as he is to the other two. We never hear him refer to either of them by name throughout both Clone Wars and Bad Batch.

He clearly does have a closer bond with Wrecker, given how much Wrecker liked to tease him in Clone Wars and the friendly competition they had. Crosshair was even seen teasing him back in that same CW episode, hinting Wrecker will never top him! A lot of us know friendly teasing is a form of love or showing someone that you care. You feel comfortable enough to have fun and be funny and involve them. We see this with both of these two, especially with Wrecker hitting Crosshair in the face with Lula 🤣

Then we get to Hunter. Crosshair addresses Hunter by name frequently throughout the show and I honestly feel he's always had an immense respect for him. At one point, it seemed to go both ways with Hunter hyping up Crosshair more than the others in their first CW episode. Even after Order 66 and Crosshair questioning everything Hunter did, he still would call him by name. Even when he believed his brother had abandoned him, that level of respect never went away. He knew what his leader was capable of and what he could do. I honestly think that's also why he's the most hostile to Hunter through everything in season 1. I think Crosshair was closest to Hunter and his "betrayal" hurt Crosshair more than anything else. That's why there's so much animosity and tension between them because they once the closest of brothers and when bonds like that are broken, then their whole worlds come shattering down.

We even got almost a bonus with Mayday, who, as we all know, helped bring about a major shift in Crosshair’s character development. Mayday was the first stranger to ask for Crosshair's name whereas everyone else addressed him by his number. Then Crosshair didn't even hesitate to call him by name. He never called him "reg" or "Commander" or anything else, which proved to me the amount of respect Crosshair had for him and man, did that pay off in the end as it was what helped him turn against the Empire.

That then leads me to this...

Omega.

Throughout all of the Bad Batch, he referred to Omega as just "a child", "the kid" and "the girl", never once referring to her by name. This always indicated to me that he didn't care much about her; he saw her as a nuisance and possibly, his replacement. And he certainly made known his disdain for her with remarks like, "She's calling the shots, now?" and "This is what happens you let a kid call the shots". Even though this didn't stop him from saving her life on Kamino at the end of season 1, it was still clear he didn't think much of her or respect her enough to call her anything but a kid.

Jump to the beginning of season 3 where they're both on Tantiss, time has passed and we see Omega is visiting him most likely on a frequent basis. He tries talking her out of breaking him out along with herself and to just forget him.

"Complete the mission".

She refuses because she will not give up on him and we've seen that strong resilience from her countless times, which Crosshair is not used to. Not after multiple people in the Empire have been talking down to him like he's nothing and calling him "expendable" for who knows how long.

Then...the moment I've been waiting years for that made me cry and the reason behind this post...

CROSSHAIR FINALLY CALLS OMEGA BY NAME FOR THE FIRST TIME!!

This is such a huge step for Crosshair as he's seemingly coming to accept Omega for who she is and has finally developed a newfound respect for her. Which he also shows profoundly in the third episode of season 3 when he lets her take charge and follows her lead ultimately to their escape from Tantiss.

This is why I'm a firm believer that Crosshair shows his respect and admiration for those around him by how he addresses them. Like I said earlier, not to say that he doesn't respect Tech or Echo; I certainly think he does, but he just isn't as close to them and his relationships with them are different than his relationships with Wrecker and Hunter. He's playful and defensive with Wrecker and he admires Hunter...and now he's forged a new bond with Omega that I can't wait to see develop more in season 3 🥰

I hope all of this made sense and sorry if it was kind of all over the place and maybe a bit repetitive 😅 Just something I wanted to share!

[budgetbuildsystem]

This may be a bit long of a read, as a notice:

Introjection and "source memories" (a common term used in the community, though other common terms are pseudomemories [a more ) are a complex thing and whether or not any introjects (fictives, factives, other kinds that cannot be organized in such a way) even develop them varies greatly between systems.

Some introjects' memories "update" with whatever their source is, while others do not.

Coming from a more psychological view of why introjects' can form pseudomemories:

Psueodomemories are often there to "explain" or sort of to be a "backstory" for the alter in question. Maybe to be a better way to explain why their personality is the way it is, or why they have the fears they have. Pseudomemories though often can be there as "coverups", or ways to show what you all collectively or the body may have gone through, while still providing a kind of "safe distance" from the body trauma. A good example would be A (a system) goes through trauma as a child. C splits off at some point with pseudomemories related to things that while aren't a 1:1 to the body's trauma, still hold feelings and maybe similar experiences to what the body went through. This time though, since in the mind these memories aren't exactly the same as the body's, it may be processed a bit seperately so you may have time to process those invidually and may come to realise that processing that opened up for being able to better process and understand the body's trauma later on when you have tools. In a way, C having these memories may also serve as a way to not trigger other alters who DO have memories of the bodily trauma, but since they're a bit more "distanced" from it in a way, the chances of triggering others out or causing a chain reaction may be a bit lower thus processing this overall may be a bit easier. Though easier doesn't necessarily mean it won't be difficult, at the very least it may mean that there are less chances of triggering multiple alters or a chain reaction if you have "coverup" memories.

Though this isn't the case for every single memory, and still trying to dig could end up in triggering something so regardless if they are source memories or body memories, I suggest you treat all of this with care and take it slow.

Pseudomemories aren't always a cover up as I said before, and sometimes they can just be there to provide a backstory or even just some sort of comfort.

I think tying this into why introjects form could be beneficial, but I'll leave it at that. And again, not every introject has their memories "updated" either. "Non-canon" introjects or introjects who don't follow their source 1:1 is also very common, and I'd argue simply is what happens to anyone given the fact that people can grow. Characters can not (in a way, they only grow as far as narrated). Introjects are not their source, and naturally introjects are the system's mix of interpretation, what the system needs at the time (say A splits off C who is based off of someone, but only splits off more resilient or positive traits of them because that's what's needed at the time), and probably a few other things I'm missing.

Keep in mind that it really also depends on your all's outlook of source memories too. I'm speaking from a very medical side of things, and also more strictly about DID/OSDD, so this may not apply if it's something you all experience moreso from spirituality, etc.

So essentially, yes it could be that Astarion doesn't feel comfortable enough or wants to keep things private. It could also be that Astarion doesn't have many memories or even memories of what happened as you all continued playing. It really just depends, but at the very least I will reiterate to just take this slow. Pseudomemories can be just as personal and often very intimate part of alters' lives.

I really appreciate this break down and honestly it makes a lot of sense. Sometimes the things astarion went through in source do slightly mirror my own feelings and thoughts. But yes I do try to give him his privacy as I know he is more than just a character in my head, he's a part of me and his own person at the same time.

[caw4brandon]

The Magic of Potterverse Games

As a child who grew up watching the Harry Potter films. There's always this interest in wanting to be a part of the Potterverse. Something about the whimsical world that entrances us all to one day, join the hallowed halls and leave a mark on the universe and on Hogwarts itself.

So, with that said. Let's explore a more immersive side to the franchise that allows one to coexist in the universe with familiar faces to guide us as we navigate the world of Muggles and Wizardkind.

- There Once Was a Boy -

Destined to be a Star ~

Back when the movies came out, game developers tackled the interesting concept of doing magic like Harry Potter through the Harry Potter film-based games.

To make it short, see [Flatlife's - Evolution of Harry Potter Games] The games were made in a variety of ways. You play as Harry Potter, traversing around the grounds of Hogwarts. Solving puzzles, going to classes, and combat various foes.

Despite the fact that the graphics are simple and often seen as horrendous. The games as a whole, were considered a success. It laid the foundation for the desire to learn the skills of a wizard/witch and explore the school grounds. Applying the lessons in combat and winning the day as Harry Potter. But that left the question;

What if, instead of playing as Harry Potter. We play as our own self-insert character?

The good news is, becoming a Hogwarts student seems a lot more accessible with the mobile game <Harry Potter: Magic Awakened>

Of course, this isn't the first attempt in the Potterverse's history of self-insert games. In 2018, another mobile game <Harry Potter: Hogwarts Mystery> was released to the public as well as the highly anticipated console game <Hogwarts Legacy> released in 2023.

I think it's worth mentioning, regardless of your opinion towards JKR's views. The lasting effect of this franchise has raised a generation of fans and their love for magic.

- Welcome to the Dueling Room! -

As a film-only based fan of the franchise, I find that; NetEase, Avalanche, and Jam City managed to capture the wonders of using magic and being in Hogwarts. Due to the nature of the universe's magic system, the games used several ways to tackle the issue of using magic.

In Magic Awakened, the game uses a mana-point system that limits spell casting. The game also uses a Card Game base in which players can mix and match card types and upgrade for significant effects.

The cards come in a variety of references. From summons of popular magical creatures, famous props, and the spells themselves.

In Hogwarts Legacy, your spells are limited to what I like to call, a Hotkey Shortcut. By limiting the slots to four different abilities. Players can combine a limited set of spells in combat to deal with the more fast-paced nature of the game.

The game emphasizes the importance of using potions for that quick boost and custom clothes as additional cover. Because the game has a special condition/ finishers called "Ancient Magic" the player is encouraged to travel around and find unique upgrades to improve and build resilience. It's simple, quick, and also the most fun game to use magic.

In Hogwarts Mystery, the combat style is a lot slower and has a two-punch effect. The first part of the duel is decided by Aggressive, Defensive, and Sneaky moves. Similar to the Rock, Paper, and Scissors game. Which when won, allows the first strike.

After that, the player is given a list of spells with various effects. The spells can sometimes cause massive damage and sometimes even stun/skip opponents for one turn. Because Hogwarts Mystery is a decision-making game, it's often regarded as the weakest attempt at magic.

- Do you Like My Scarf? -

Magic spells aside, The game's respective story is awfully predictable and bland. From the little that I personally played and hear from the folks of the community. The three games did the safe thing by doing the <Fantastic Beasts> route.

They distance themselves to different eras of the Wizarding world's history. By the game's own description, Hogwarts Legacy is set decades before Harry Potter and Fantastic Beasts. Following a special witch/wizard who enrolled at Hogwarts as a fifth year.

Hogwarts Mystery is set roughly a generation before Harry Potter. Making them seniors who just graduated when Harry just entered. Meanwhile, Magic Awakened is set after Harry Potter. Close to around the time when Harry, Ron, and Hermione's kids started their year at Hogwarts.

Each year deals with its own type danger. From a dark magic rebellion to a cursed student of a deranged sibling to whatever Magic Awakened was trying to do. (I'm a bit slow to that game)

My issue with these games is, there seems to be this tendency to make the MC a center piece to the story. While it is, after all surrounding the MC's life. I couldn't help but feel that as far as developments go. Nothing is interesting about the MC's canonical story.

The games are also wasted with issues of telling via dialogue but not showing via action. The drama of the story didn't feel as impactful. While the player's decisions can sometimes change the outcome. It is far from being as big of an influence as I thought it would.

As far as playing the game itself goes, I only played Hogwarts Mystery till year 4 and stopped out of boredom.

I am enjoying Magic Awakened so far since it doesn't make the MC take center stage but rather uses the side characters to put weight to the story and to the playable cards. Granted, I'm not as active.

That said, I am still looking at a lot of its interesting parts from an outside perspective. So I would very much like to hear a rebuttal.

- Return to Hogwarts, Join My Dorm! -

Back when I was still playing the game, I came across a few users who interact on social media as their own MCs. They would use screenshots of their characters and write a treasure trove's worth of lore and developments. Discuss their favorite crushes and build more lore upon their OCs.

Seeing the encouragement and love between users and their OCs, got me to start uprooting my HPHM character; Sadie mac Lir and interact with quite a few names in this community outside of the games.

But after realizing that the story is just not as rich as I'd imagine, Sadie transferred into the world of <Murder The Crow> following Hector Dagger, the story's original character, and was later added with Jamie Robyn who is now a placeholder in Magic Awakened.

In spite of the situation with JKR and some of the whispers of this fandom's dark side. The fandom is still going strong as ever. While I have distanced myself, I still linger with the friends I made along the way. Most come from an artistic perspective with their OCs and art in general. Some of them are just good conversationalists.

It felt like being in school again. To learn from one another, socialize among fellow housemates and discuss plans for the future and have fun little interactions. Being in cliques and enjoying the other bit of magic that is not in the games, friendship.

In conclusion, I think it's been a wonderful journey for Harry Potter's gaming side of the fandom. The games went from being Harry to becoming your own Harry. To forge your own path in a world that is rich with possibilities and build friendships in-game and out of the game that might last lifetimes.

For a fandom as big and equally as problematic as Harry Potter. The Potterverse games have proven that it truly is not our abilities that show who we truly are. But rather, it's our choices that make the significant change.

Thanks for Reading

- Caw4B -

[sebadztian]

Hi....If you don't mind, can I ask something from Black Butler? What do you think are Ciel and Sebastian's greatest personality strengths and weaknesses? Why? What do you love about their dynamic? Sorry if you've answered these questions before.....

Hello and thank you for the ask!

I’m so sorry it has taken me so long to answer!

Hm, I think Ciel’s greatest strength is his resilience and strong resolve, even beyond what he himself has believed he was capable of.

We all know what kind of things that Ciel has gone through, and that kind of experience leaves a mark on one’s soul and personality. He didn’t have the best self-esteem to begin with, always seeing himself as the weaker one compared to his brother. He’s lost so many people, his parents, his twin, and Madam Red, but he kept marching on towards his goal with no hesitation. And he even holds his own against a demon. He’s actually stronger than he thought he is.

Unfortunately, he himself has thought that his strength was a façade, a part of the role that he’s playing. Just like how Sebastian is sticking to his “butler aesthetic”, o!Ciel is also sticking to his “r!Ciel aesthetic”, putting on this mask of bravery, aloofness, and cruelty, one that befits his title.

Which is, imo, not quite him at all, no matter how much he’d like to pretend otherwise.

At the end of the day though, o!Ciel is not his brother, which leads me to his greatest weakness – or at least, until recently, his low self-esteem. As we’ve learned, being a second son is not easy during that period and Ciel is no different, most especially after what he’s overheard. I’m not saying that his parents had loved him any less than they did his brother, but it doesn’t change the fact that o!Ciel sees himself as the weaker one, the sickly brother, the ‘spare’, so to speak. In fact, the whole manga is based on o!Ciel low self-esteem, which had caused him to assume the role of his brother. But of course, his self-esteem and his sense of self have improved significantly in the recent chapters, which I’m glad to see!

Now, let’s talk about Sebastian… What’s the demon’s greatest personality strength?

Well, it’s not so much of a personality, but I think his character growth throughout the manga is impressive! He started off as a trash, uncaring demon who only wanted a meal. But throughout the course of the manga, he’s developed into a person. “Sebastian” started off as a façade, a fake butler to a fake earl. But now, “Sebastian” has become a butler worthy of his master’s soul and a full-fledged person who actually cares (as to how you’d want to interpret this ‘care’ is up to you). Sebastian is learning to better himself and his growth is his strength because it shows that even a base creature like him is able to grow, to be better, to change. This, I think, is his greatest personality.

As for his weakness, well, I’d think that would be his arrogance. He’s used to be at the top. He’s used to win all the time, and that has led him to be an arrogant demon – rightfully so. But just as he grows, he’s becoming humbler, most especially after the Book of Atlantic when UT beat his ass. Hopefully, he’s learned not to underestimate this enemies in the future, or else, it would cost him his own life, and his young master’s too.

Thanks again!

[shock]

hey! ik you work at a school and based on how you post about it, you really care a lot about your job and it seems like the kids really like and trust you. i'm about to start a job as a para working 1:1 w/ a middle schooler, and my prior experience is all tutoring college students- do you have any tips on getting kids that age to engage w/ you? im worried ill be awkward around him and he'll think im cringe 😭 would really appreciate any advice u have to give

middle schoolers are developmentally in a place where they are experimenting with independence for the first time. they will test rules, boundaries, expectations. be clear and consistent but not rigid. if you make it integral to your relationship and their success that they tell you what motivates them, they have agency, and that you want to work WITH them, they may not believe that immediately but the more you prove it the easier it will be to know how to support them.

if you know anyone who has worked with this student before, ask about and be ready to filter the information you learn. I ask questions like "do you remember a day that was successful, and how did you get there?". ask "was there a time you felt that you connected?". "What strategies did you find helpful?".

I don't always agree with all of my colleagues in their approach or their view of the kid in front of them, but that doesn't mean I can't learn from them and apply it in my own way. about the same student, I was warned that successful only happened when they were elevated by using a neutral tone and that they will try to trick me so be aware of that. another said that they are very funny and sometimes needs pressure to be grounded- when I suggested a weighted shoulder blanket, she lit up and said "that would be an awesome idea!!". another colleague said that they do very well with expectations given in the form of "If X happens, my expectation is to [action]". I can keep all of these things in mind and also not let them be more deciding than the kid that I will have in front of me.

You have your own style and that can be translated to a lot of ages if you take steps to learn to communicate with them and dont make them feel stupid or inexperienced. I invite suggestions and try to apply their voice as appropriate and safe. I don't make promises I can't keep, and if I can't keep them I am upfront about it. Model integrity and honesty.

Also, because of the rapid development both hormonally, socially, physically, 6th, 7th, and 8th are all WILDLY different. The ways I can talk to my 8th graders about deeply personal social-emotional reflections doesn't look the same my 6th or 7th graders. You'll naturally find out where your student lies in terms of maturity and understanding, and there will be a LOT of growth in a single year.

Kids will accept and grow fond of your cringe if they know you express it in solidarity and from a willingness to learn. Anything will be cringe if they want to haze you for it, including things YOU SEE THEM DOING ALL THE TIME 🤣 I tell my kids all the time that there are things that come naturally to them that amaze me and impress me that I don't know about. I put my kids in positions to be teachers. Being cringe is a natural part of working with kids and its ok to be silly and weird IF you are there for them when it counts. IF you don't patronize, condescend, or talk down to them. They are intelligent, thoughtful, and often know much much more than they ever say. They are extremely resilient. they will genuinely think you are just as likely 17 or 40 years old no matter what age you are. Don't worry about being awkward or cringe, take steps to understand the passions and joys of your students. Be willing to suck at things they excel at. Be willing to play basketball with them even though you suck ass, and ask them how to improve. Be willing to make bracelets that are so fucking ugly they're worth laughing about while they're making 400-braid works of art. Acknowledge when they have skills you aren't familiar with. They will learn to appreciate yours if they know you see theirs.

They don't accuse me of being lame when I act goofy, to them it's just part of who "Mr. Jack" is. I'm not above getting pranked. I'm not above getting razzed on. Im not above getting something wrong. I'm a professional who knows how to navigate systems and wants to share that with them. I explain why things happen. I answer "why" with a genuine, thoughtful response. Middle schoolers always want to know why, and if they don't know why by the time they get to high school because it's been held hostage by people in power, they believe there is no "why". I never say "just because" or "It's the right thing to do". I say what will come out of it. If I ever have to report something happening or have to have another colleague help with a mandated reporting/need help from social work to wrap around, I never just do it. I say things like "you know, X is someone I really trust and respect here. They have more information than I do and I think if we worked together we would be able to really find a solution, can we try to do that". I explain that I will never abandon them or shove them on others or destroy our trust, but I have Profesional obligations and that I will walk through the whole process with them. I have sat in ambulances with kids. I have stayed into the night at hospitals with kids. I have exercised my right to refuse to send a kid home out of an immediate safety concern and updated them the entire time what every call I made was about, what I did and did NOT share, checked in with them... and my worst fear of ruining my relationship with a kid and destroying their trust has not happened because I make sure that the pieces are not moving around them while they are helpless. So much is already out of their control.

I have coached multiple students who admitted to me that they vaped or smoked, and i think this is a good example of applying that mindset: My job isn't tell them to stop because it's bad. My job is to say "look, I'm not going to say what everyone else has told you or pretend that I've never done something that could harm my body. Anything you do, I want you to do research and use that to decide what is worth it." And I share knowledge, we get to the root of it, we talk about the reasons, we talk about the risks. One of my students who smoked nicotine without parents knowing didn't know that it would seriously impact a surgery they had coming up that they had been waiting for their whole life and were excited for. Me sharing that information not with the threat of consequences but with a need for them to understand how to move forward was how we got to develop a plan to quit that was seen through.

Sorry that was a lot of rambling!! Basically work as a team and find ways to come up with strategies together. You can be professional, "in charge", and provide direction without insulting the newly budding agency your middle schoolers are unfortunately learning that they don't have in a lot of environments. Start EVERY SINGLE DAY new. I have bad days and have cried because of how hurtful something was from a student, but I don't let that stop me from greeting them in the morning, or feeling like they have a right to education, or that they can't try to do things differently. They're incredibly impulsive, and you will have an hour long conversation that seems to really sink, and the second you get out of the room they will still immediately do the thing they shouldn't. Over time with consistency they really do change, and it's normal for that to not be always immediate. Days, weeks, years... sometimes you won't even see that growth, and that's really hard, but you have to trust that it will happen.

[exhausted-archivist]

As I plan the garden for the year I not only stare at the fact that grocery stores carry such little variety (for many reasons) and that we only, on average have access to 200-400 times fewer varieties of vegetables than 50 years ago. We don’t grow them any more.

Thinking about that and the dozens of varieties I’m growing this year I can’t help but wonder about the floral varieties in Thedas. How many types of lettuce do they have? Does Markham, the city state dedicated to agriculture research also develop new varieties? Are they trying to create hybrids that are resilient to the Blight like Deep Mushrooms but also don’t pass it on?

Do they experiment with corn as much as we have in the past? Since a majority of the crops domesticated in Thedas come from the Americas, where did the originate? Tevinter, Rivain, northern Antiva, the Anderfels prior to the Blights?

The food that the Anderfels grows, we know are hardy and often bitter and full of tannins and the like, but are they resistant to the intense heat of the short summers or do they favor frost resistant crops and rely on things like cold frames and the like during the icy, snowy winters?

What about Nevarra? We know their portion of the Minanter river freezes in the winter and they eat roasted chestnuts. But they are also home to Mediterranean crops like the blood orange. Was that an imported hybrid? Was it cultivated with a more cold hearty variety in Thedas compared to irl?

The official cookbook has Devon comment that children hate vegetables. But that is rather strange to me considering the food pathways, food preservation technology, and the restrictions on hunting/poaching in noble lands. Based on the rough estimate of era, logically all of the children would be used to a primarily vegetable and fruit diet with some aspects of meat, dairy, and eggs. Which means they also likely had the same massive variety of vegetables that we had in history and there for had plenty of options to avoid the largely bitter ones. So is this just a Devon thing? Or do Thedosians have less access to fruits and veggies than we do in the modern era?

Like from a meta standpoint I know that BioWare cannot possibly explore all the massive varieties possible. Nor do I expect them to. It is also easy to see when they fall back on common misconceptions of the various periods they’re referencing or just operating on less actual facts and more on personal experience or misconceptions and biases.

That said I’m even more curious to how they’re going to explore the subterranean flora (and fauna) given they’ve made it so the deep roads don’t have any geothermal properties. In the sense if there is no lava flow or if you don’t have a torch you’ll freeze to death.

So how do deep mushrooms thrive? And all the native fauna. What about the flora and fauna in the titans? I always love looking at fictional flora because you can really see the Frankenstein cobbling of plants. Sometimes the designs are really well informed and other times it’s just informed by aesthetics. Which is fine, BioWare isn’t really focusing on the biology of Thedas in that way.

I’m just really glad they are exploring the natural world building in the game because it’s often overlooked or left out. Which just begs to question, how are Thedosians genetically modifying their crops? What are their goals? Form over flavour? Flavour over form?

Are they doing it the tried and true way of just selective breeding and choosing desirable traits from the crops each year? Are they using magic? If they do how wide spread I the use of magic acceleration for such things? Is it accessible to the common people or just nobles and upper class? I have questions about Thedosian horticulture.

[haleigh-sloth]

Hello again shigaraki expert! Hope all is well. Forgive me if you’ve answered this before, but what do you think people get wrong about him the most often and why? Both by viewers as well as the characters in the series. Thank you for always being so open to questions!

🤯 What a question. Also I have no idea how to react to being called that askdfasg. I think I kind of went on a little tangent about that here, but there are actually a lot of answers to this question.

There are a LOT of things about Tomura that I personally feel get mischaracterized by fans--but a lot of these takes come from multiple different subsects of the fandom. So I have to like...break it down I guess so it doesn't come across as a disjointed point I'm trying to make. And then in canon, god, there is also a lot of misunderstanding of him but that's because Tomura doesn't say anything out loud.

I'll break it into sections asghasf

Some takes are just not worth engaging with imo, like the ones talking about how he "actually wanted to kill his dad", or was actually born evil. I mean.....if that's the conclusion you've come to when reading the manga, there is nothing I can do to help you lol.

Takes I feel are skewed but not without justification to some extent though:

Man-child who throws tantrums: I mean yes, in the beginning when you didn't know the character well, you saw this behavior. And you hear the protagonist side characterize him this way. I get where this idea comes from, it isn't based off of nothing in canon. But supposedly people latched onto this characterization and never let it go. Now I personally don't see this a lot because anybody who thinks this is not someone I'd engage with in fandom anyway, but apparently in fics? I guess it's an issue. But yeah, needs to be let go. His reactions in early chapters have been explained to us as serious stress responses as a result of his life circumstances, not him being spoiled and unhappy that he didn’t get what he wanted, similarly to a toddler. The scratching at his skin and severe emotional irritation? It’s a panic attack.

Making his entire personality out to be nothing but a gamer nerd. Again, this isn’t without some justification. But it’s a little weird that so often he gets reduced down to…just that. It’s not even prevalent enough in his personality to have been put in his manga profile as something he likes, like it was for Spinner. It’s just weird that…that’s all he gets out of people sometimes.

The more complicated mischaracterizations (imo) are as follows:

“He has his own goals that he came to on his own.” Well, there is some evidence to back this up, if you ignore another key aspect of his character. He hates society, yes. He was abandoned by the common population and by heroes, yes. But his resiliency from this fact is completely tanked, because the real reason behind his goal to just get rid of everything is because he hates himself and sees no possibility for a future where the current world will ever accept him. But notice how in recent events we’ve been shown that despite the fact that he sees no future for himself in the current society, he still keeps hoping and holding out for someone to help him and accept him anyway. His self-hatred is not something he came up with on his own—that’s AFO. Society sucks, he hates it, and he has a hatred for it based off of personal experiences. But that’s not what he needs saving from. He needs saving from the hate he holds for himself and his own existence.

“He was liberated from his past.” He wasn’t. The proof is current chapters, but also if people would take like ten minutes to go back and really look at MVA, they’d see it for what it was. It was insanely negative development for Tomura and the shackles his past have around him only tightened their grip, as did AFO. Arguments over whether the possession plot line being planned from the start aside, MVA was never an arc about him being set free, or letting go, or moving on. It’s really really obvious if you look at it without being held up on the nice idea of Tomura being an independent thinker.

“He wants to make a change for the better.” I don’t know that this even really needs much explanation. I know it’s a common idea that he’s “fighting for a change”, but there’s a reason the manga doesn’t uphold his actions as something positive. Decaying cities with random bystander people in them is not positive nor is it fighting for any kind of change. And the manga doesn’t even try to frame it that way. So I find this take to be a result of people not letting go of past characterizations when we had less info, and not letting go of fanon Tomura. I talked about this here and here.

“He’s this selfless and compassionate person who prioritizes others (namely the League) above himself.” Honestly, I don’t see any indication of this, but it’s a popular idea people have of him. His desire for the LOV to live how they wish and HIS desire to destroy everything are 100% mutually exclusive. In a way both ideas might point in the same direction, but in that sense both of those things point in the same direction as AFO’s plans too. But they don’t enmesh well do they? On another note, he’s definitely self destructive, but he’s not sacrificial. He’s not out there thinking of the League’s well-being as a result of any sacrifice he makes. He operates rather independently (separating and going into a coma for four months). And the proof of this is, well, currently. When two of the remaining members of the league who have some sort of independence in their actions willfully turned a blind eye to his situation and pretty much abandoned him in the AFO situation, and have shown no internal conflicts to AFO taking over their operation. It just tells me that Tomura never set the bar for the League members to sacrifice themselves for each other, including himself. He doesn’t. What Spinner, Compress, and Twice do in their arcs is a different discussion altogether. But if we’re talking about Tomura specifically, he is not sacrificial for others. There is not really any evidence for that imo. I do think he is a compassionate person deep down, at his core. But that’s Tenko, who he really is, who he’s always been. That’s an aspect he’s always had outside of AFO that gets clouded over by his current personality that is nothing but trauma responses.

I think those are my biggest things that I feel get misconstrued, misread, mischaracterized about him by fandom. In the manga itself, there isn’t really a single soul who knows his true self (yet). So to answer that I’d say….everyone misunderstands him to great extents. But that’s intentionally done. Nobody is supposed to see how much he really hates himself and blames himself for his family and for how he turned out as a person. (Yet)

[calithal]

In what situation was your character the most afraid they’ve ever been?

character development questions: hard mode, accepting!  ༄

can i give you a list KCHBK cj's childhood was a constant state of fear, which combats how fearless she acts and is, genuinely, in some regards. harry's physical bearing and harriet's emotional bearing left cj with so much to feel worried, scared, and out of control with. kids are by nature resilient, obviously, which is why she's so. Cj. but every time something good happened, something horrible was quick to follow.

the hook still scares her. it always has. she learned to fear it through the part it played in primarily harry's physical abuse. while she and harriet received their own, harry often purposefully took the physical punishment for his sisters, and both harry and harriet worked together to keep hook away from cj at nearly all costs. they did not succeed completely, partly because of cj's own efforts to find a way into her father's life, but they protected her from so much more than she could ever understand. when cj was young, she was incredibly dependent on the two of them, even while she fought them when they tried to take care of her basic needs (eating, sleeping, keeping safe). her rejection had nothing to do with the love she had for them, and the love was so much easier for her when she was younger. so anytime they were hurt, it was the end of the world. there was no complexity to it, it was just fear.

a core moment involving the hook is when cj first experiences their father 'hooking' someone brutally and to the end of their life from a hiding spot when she was about 2. she did not understand it fully, but she saw and heard the pain, and her father, and the hook. then, every injury became the same picture in her head, regardless if it was because of their father or not. cj became inconsolable anytime she saw the hook, as she automatically associated it with the end of a life or what she interpreted the quiet of the victim to be. she would have to be physically removed from her siblings when they were hurt from how she would sob, scream, and cling to them. even if they wanted to be with her, it would be impossible with the closeness and comfort that she needed to feel secure. every moment after involving the hook only instills the fear further with more intensity. it makes harry having a hook of his own an entire fucked up can of worms. it still scares her. her brother is not a monster, he's her brother. but the hook is a monster, their father is a monster, and the hook is a part of him.

but her memories of her childhood are so fuzzy, and are a lot less separate than long moments and memories. she remembers more the hook and what it means, but not why it means that.

the clearest memory and what she would probably name as the most afraid she's ever been is when harry came for her after the barrier's fall. she truly thought he was going to kill her. even as he held her, and showed genuine relief, she did not believe for a moment that death would not be what was next. for at least a week after seeing him and harriet, she refused to sleep or leave freddie because she believed they both would come for her if she did or let her guard down for even a moment.

potentially also before she left, but i think she was so impulsive with her plan to leave she made it past the fear. she planned to fake her death whether or not she could get off of the isle, she believed she had no other choice.

[stargazer-sims]

Journal Entry 55 (part two)

Journal Entry #55 (part one) // STORY INDEX

Victor

To say I'm devastated by this latest development in Yuri's health situation would be a major understatement.

Logically, I know Dr. Kasongo is right. Given Yuri's history, it's not likely his challenges with food and eating will resolve without some sort of intervention. And I know the treatment plan she proposed is in his best interests, but the idea of him requiring a feeding tube is a reality I'm struggling to accept. It feels so much like defeat to me that just thinking about it makes me want to cry.

As awful as this may sound, it's kind of a blow to my own self-perception too. I like to think of myself as a protector, someone who finds solutions and keeps people away from harm, but this is a reminder that regardless of my desire to shield Yuri from everything painful or scary or sad, there are some things I'll never be able to protect him from.

As for Yuri, he seems oddly calm about the whole thing, which leaves me a little taken aback. I'd overheard him tell his mother he'd be okay with a tube, but I really hadn't imagined he was serious. I thought, when it came right down to it, this would be something he absolutely would not want.

I'll confess, being wrong in my prediction about Yuri's reaction is bothering me. On one hand, I'm glad he didn't seem overly upset or frightened by the prospect of having a feeding tube, but on the other hand, I feel ashamed for presupposing he would be. Like, I thought I understood him pretty well, and it's eye-opening to find out that might not be the case. There's a lot about his disability and how he copes with it psychologically and emotionally that I really have no clue about, and it's becoming obvious I don't comprehend the daily challenges he faces with his illness as well as I thought I did. Let me tell you, that realization is hitting me hard.

Maybe the most sobering thought of all is how much I've taken my own health for granted. I've always admired Yuri's courage and resilience, but seeing it now makes me question how I'd handle everything if I were in his place. I could barely cope with the pain of my broken arms or the inconvenience of my temporary vision loss. There's no way in hell I could keep going if I had a chronic illness like his, and I know I'd be a total wreck if some doctor said she wanted to cut into my belly and put a tube in there, and that all my meals would be liquid formula going directly into my stomach for the next three to six months.

Yeah, that's what Dr. Kasongo ultimately concluded would be the best option; a gastrostomy tube, or G-tube. I thought she might suggest going the least invasive route, which would've been a NG tube, which is the kind they insert through a patient's nose, but she explained that sort of tube is for short-term use only, like four weeks or less. She said there'd be a lower risk of infection with the G-tube, and because she thinks Yuri could be using it for up to six months, she wanted something that'd be safer for him and wouldn't interfere too much with his quality of life.

The drawback of that kind of tube is that it has to be placed surgically. I didn't like the idea of Yuri needing an operation, but Dr. Kasongo explained to me that it's not major surgery and that there shouldn't be anything to worry about. It's a routine procedure with a very small incision, she said, and it only takes half an hour to forty-five minutes, not counting time spent in the recovery area.

I wasn't all that reassured, and I think she could tell I was anxious, but I did my best to put on a brave face and thanked her for trying to lay my fears to rest.

She went on to tell me about what would happen after the procedure, too. Later in the day, once Yuri was fully awake and alert, a nurse would teach us how to prepare and administer the formula, and how to clean the tube, and pretty much everything to do with taking care of it. And then the doctor told me that if all went according to the plan, Yuri could go home the following day. That seemed hasty to me, but I didn't comment. After all, she's the doctor and she's done this loads of times. It's not up to me to question her professional judgment.

In the estimation of the doctor, it should only take a couple of weeks for Yuri to heal from his surgery. She said once the incision is healed, he'll be able to do most of the activities he was doing before, including — to my amazement — swimming. He won't be able to do any exercises that use the abdominal muscles extensively, but that's okay. We can modify his fitness routine.

It might not be obvious to everyone who first meets him, but Yuri is an active person. He's not hardcore like me, but when he's feeling well, he likes to go hiking, do yoga, skate, swim, dance and go snowboarding. I'm not sure if dancing and yoga are going to be particularly G-tube friendly, but as long as he can stay active, that's the main thing.

Also, I learned that he'll still be able to eat and drink normally with this type of tube, which I guess makes sense considering the goal is to slowly reintroduce him to eating. For the first couple of weeks, it's supposed to be formula only, and then we're supposed to add real food and decrease the amount of formula over time until he's eating like a typical person. I think it's probably going to be a battle, at least in the beginning, but Yuri seems uncharacteristically committed to the plan, so we'll see.

One thing that concerns me, which I haven't talked about with the doctor yet, is how all of this is going to impact our move. We'd been focused on other things that might've interfered with our plans, such as my recovery, and the ongoing legal drama with Ren, and possibly now more legal issues with Hana. I'm sure we both realized Yuri's health could be a factor as well, but for some reason, we've never brought it up.

But, here's the thing. The closing date for our new house is the eighteenth of May, and our flight is scheduled a few days before that. If Yuri's going to be doing his nutrition rehabilitation therapy for the next several months, the date of our flight is going to fall right in the middle of it. He can't interrupt his therapy, and even with Dr. Kasongo calling in a favour to get him on Dr. Kim's patient list, I don’t know how long he might have to wait for an actual first appointment. Plus, even if Dr. Kim could see him in May, I doubt we'd get referrals to a nutritionist and a psychologist back home quickly enough for him to just resume it seamlessly when we get there. Depending on what's involved, he might be able to do it remotely over video chat or something, but with a literal twelve-hour time difference between Japan and eastern Canada, I'm not sure if any healthcare professional here would be willing to go for it.

All of that is assuming he can even travel at all. If he can't, I'm really scared that we're going to have to be apart for a while because one of us has to be there to sign the papers for the closing on our house, and there's no way I'm missing my mom's wedding. What might end up happening is that I'll go home alone in May, stay there until after the wedding, and then come back to be with him until we can finally move to our new home together. Obviously that wouldn't be ideal, but it might be the only viable solution.

I decided I'd talk it over with Mom and Julian to get their thoughts. I'd need to tell them in any case, and break the news that they might not have a violinist for their wedding after all. They wouldn't be as concerned about their wedding music as they would be about Yuri himself, but they'd still need time to adjust their plans.

I made a mental list of who else I'd need to inform of this change in circumstances. Fortunately it was a short one, consisting of Yuri's boss, or maybe the HR person at his firm, and his parents.

Yuri's parents...

As if I didn't have enough on my plate, it fell to me to explain everything Mr. and Mrs. Okamoto. I didn't picture them taking it well, and unfortunately, I wasn't too far off with my guess.

Mrs. Okamoto seemed outwardly calm, but that was nothing less than I expected from her. She's not the sort of person who shows her emotions publicly. Somebody who knows her really well might know what to look for, but I'm not acquainted intimately enough with her for that. Judging by the way she was squeezing her husband's hand while I was describing everything to them, though, I'd say she was a lot less tranquil on the inside than she appeared on the outside.

As for Mr. Okamoto, he was clearly very upset, but he was trying his best to hide his feelings from me. I think he could've learned a thing or two from his wife about how to put on a stoic expression, because he wasn't doing a particularly good job of it. The way he hunched in on himself, and how his face got slightly red and the muscles at the edges of his mouth visibly tightened were almost an exact mirror of how Yuri looks when he's trying not to cry.

It came as a bit of a shock when it occurred to me that I could read my father-in-law's face and body language just as well as I can read Yuri's. I was even more stunned when my first reaction to his distress was compassion.

I mean, not that I'm an unsympathetic person, but up till recently I hadn't had that many positive feelings about my father-in-law. He'd never been particularly kind to me and showed every sign of not liking me, and I'll admit the dislike was mutual.

Up until my accident, I figured that's how it was always going to be. Or maybe it's got more to do with this recent serious flare-up of Yuri's illness than with my injuries, but whatever prompted the change, I'm not complaining or questioning it. It's been a relief, not being in a constant state of walking on eggshells around him. He's been much nicer to me lately, and we've been getting to know each other better, which is a comfort given our current circumstances.

Dr. Kasongo did Yuri's surgery this morning, and Mr. Okamoto came to the hospital to wait with me.

They put us in a nice waiting room with vibrant art on the walls and comfortable blue sofas to sit on. There were non-perishable snacks and a variety of teas, but neither of us had anything. I can't speak for Mr. Okamoto, but I was too stressed to think about matcha or spicy rice crackers. We sat next to each other on a sofa, engulfed in the most weighty silence of all time.

I thought we were going to pass the entire morning like that, but then Mr. Okamoto cleared his throat two or three times like he was trying to work up the nerve to say something. I turned slightly to look at him.

"Uh... are you okay?" I asked. It came out sounding shaky and weird, and I briefly wondered if somebody should be asking me that exact same question.

He raised his gaze to meet mine. Several heartbeats later, he said, "i owe you an apology."

I'm not even gonna pretend I wasn't shocked by that. Caught completely off-guard by the abrupt declaration, I stammered, "What? I mean... like, what for?"

He sighed and looked away from me again. "For a lot of things, if we're being perfectly honest. You're a good man, Victor. I'm sorry that I was too proud and too set in my ways to see that before now," he said. "I misjudged you without even truly knowing you, and I'm sorry for that."

"It's okay," I said, even though it kinda wasn't.

The truth is, his blatant prejudice, dislike and disapproval had hurt both Yuri and me, but Yuri especially, and I was not okay with that. Yuri and I have both been making an effort to rehabilitate our relationship with him, but trust and forgiveness are processes, and neither is achieved instantaneously just because somebody says sorry. He has a lifetime of broken trust to mend with Yuri, and although I've only known him for a few years, it feels like a lifetime for me as well. Maybe it's my proximity to Yuri and my love and empathy for him that makes it feel so personal, or maybe I'm just too sensitive. Either way, Mr. Okamoto's apology wasn't like some magic spell that'd repair everything in the blink of an eye.

Still, he seemed sincere, and I wanted to trust him. The trouble was, I had no idea how I was supposed to respond to this sudden outpouring of contrition from him. I said, "Live and learn, right?"

"Indeed," he said. "I think that was something I'd forgotten for a while. To live and learn. It was you and Yuri who helped me remember. The two of you, and your parents."

"How'd we do that?"

"No way in particular," he said. "Perhaps that's the most ironic part."

I was thoroughly confused at that point and had to admit, "I... kinda feel like I'm missing something here, Okamoto-san."

"Kenji," he said.

Again I blurted, "What?"

"My name is Kenji," he said, as if I didn't already know. "I think you've earned the right to call me that, and besides, we're family."

Dumbfounded, all I could do was stare at him.

"You're supposed to thank me," he prompted gently.

"Right. Uh... thank you." I dipped a little bow as best I could while sitting. "I'm honoured."

"It's fine if you're not comfortable with it," he said.

"It might take some getting used to," I told him. "But, I really am honoured. Back home, when we're adults, we pretty much just call most other adults by their given name, you know? I had to learn a whole new set of rules when I got here, so I get how big of a deal this is."

"I understand," he said. "I do a lot of business with people in North America, so I've had to get used to new social customs too. But, you've done very well, integrating into our way of life. I used to think foreigners could never do that."

"Because you thought we weren't willing to adapt?"

"That, and because some of you seem to think your way is superior," he said.

"Some people probably do think that," I agreed. "I don't. Just because somebody else's culture isn't the same as mine, that doesn't make it bad or inferior. Plus, it's interesting to learn new stuff. You know, to see things from other people's point of view."

He nodded. "That's something I learned from you and Yuri. To see things from somebody else's perspective. How else could the two of you come together the way you have if you didn't know how to be open to other ways of life and points of view?"

"I'm not sure I ever thought of it that way," I said. "I didn't fall in love with him because he's Japanese, and I didn't fall in love with him despite that either. I love him because... well, because he's Yuri. All I saw was him. And yeah, I do know we're different, but literally everybody's different from everybody else, so..."

"You see, that's something else I've learned from you."

I raised an eyebrow. "Something else?"

"Open-mindedness. Selflessness. How to love without prerequisites or conditions," he said. "I'll confess, I was surprised how much of that I saw in my son when I finally opened my eyes and started paying attention." He offered me a tiny smile. "Maybe he learned it from you as well."

"He already knew all that," I said.

"Perhaps," Mr. Okamoto said. "In my experience, Yuri has never been very good at putting other people ahead of himself. Neither am I, honestly. But he does it for you, even to his own detriment sometimes."

"Yeah," I said. "Sometimes I wonder if he understands his limits."

"I think he does," he said. "It's simply that there are people who become so important to you, people you love so deeply, that you're willing to ignore your limits for them. The downside, of course, is that you become more vulnerable to being hurt."

"I'd never hurt Yuri. Not on purpose."

"I know," he said. "That's not what I meant. My point was, Yuri trusts you so completely, he's willing to give himself just as completely to you without being afraid of getting hurt."

"Because he knows if I do hurt him it's not intentional, and I'll always try to make it right. I'll always protect him and take care of him," I said. "As much as anyone can protect another person, anyway. There's some stuff..." I let the sentence fade, because if I started talking about the reason why the two of us were sitting there in a hospital waiting room, I knew I'd end up bawling my eyes out. No way did I want to do that in front of my father-in-law.

"There are things no one can keep anyone safe from." Mr. Okamoto finished the thought for me. "No matter how much we want to."

"It's hard," I said. "Not being able to. And realizing I can't is just... I don't know. It doesn't matter that my brain understands I can't, 'cause it still feels like a stab to the heart. It still feels like I'm failing somehow."

He didn't respond to that right away, and a lull of several seconds stretched between us. The silence was less tense than when we were first shown into the waiting room, but it was little uncomfortable for me nevertheless.

Just when I was about to say some random banal thing to break the quietness, Mr. Okamoto did something unbelievable. Well, okay... by objective standards, it wasn't all that incredible, but it was nothing short of remarkable for him.

He put his hand on my shoulder.

"You're not a failure, Victor." He said it so softly that I might not have caught it if we hadn't been sitting next to each other. "You're extraordinary, in fact."

I looked up at him. "I—" I began, but language totally failed me.

"A man is only a failure if he stops trying," my father-in-law said. "Maybe he can't protect the people he loves from everything, but he hasn't failed unless he stops letting them know he'd move the Earth itself to keep them safe if he could." His voice dropped to a near-whisper again, "He fails if he forgets to tell them he loves them. But you... I think you'll never forget that."

"I hope I never will," I said.

"So do I," he said. "My son needs you."

"He needs you too." The reply slipped out before I even fully recognized the thought was in my head. I panicked for a second, fearful Mr. Okamoto would take it as a rebuke.

To my absolute astonishment, I saw tears in his eyes. "I know," he said. "I lost sight of that, but I'll do better."

I studied him for a moment, and he didn't shift his gaze from mine. Everything about his demeanour was earnest. I said simply, "I believe you."

He nodded, maybe more to reassure himself than to acknowledge my expression of faith in him. Then, he uttered three words that never in a million years would I have imagined him directing towards me.

"Thank you, Victor."

[hopeswriting]

Hi. I really like how sweet and respectful you are whenever you receive asks. I hope you had a good day wherever you are.

My question largely has to do with the Tsuna. I genuinely believe that anyone placed in his shoes and subjected to the same trials and tribulations would eventually change. So, it's fairly amazing to watch how Tsuna developed, but his fundamental core remained the same.

I know the ending is open-ended but... what if he rebelled and not like weakly statements about how wrong the mafia is but actually like make his threat greatly known. Like he'd actually went after reborn his own tutor and the mafia in general. Holy SHIT.... that's kind of scary. How would that change with his dynamic with his own guardians.

You know if I was Tsuna I'd always be wary on where I stand with the mafia as a whole because I'd always wonder on the back of my head if I don't do what they command would they kill me? Who's to say they don't have another spare heir around.

🥺🥺🥰 hi nonny! i’m glad you think so because i’m always super happy whenever you guys interact with me, so i’d hate to ever make you feel like you aren’t welcome to or you’re bothering me when you do.

i did have a good day, thank you! i hope you’re having/had a good day too, and thank you for the ask and your kind words! 💕

yeah exactly!! i really love that resilience of his and that it was essentially his character arc, staying firm in his beliefs and principles and morality despite everything he was made to go through.

haha, what if indeed? this is typically the type of things we were left wondering about because that wasn’t ever where the manga was heading towards, but i love thinking about it too! i just want to address the last thing you said first, because i think tsuna knowing he is, in fact, the last legitimate and eligible heir, is the only thing that’d stop things to turn too ugly once he really starts fighting back against being forced to become vongola decimo.

and i feel like he’d know he’s the last heir because otherwise, what is stopping them from just getting rid of him and try their luck with the next heir on the list? because yes, as much as tsuna never really acts on his desire to not become vongola decimo, he’s still constantly very loud about it, and always tries his damn best to not let them change him into “the perfect mafia boss” and drag him further into the mafia, and would they really put up with all of it when they could just kill him and move on with the next heir? they are mafiosi after all. and yes they can say all they want they chose him partly because he doesn’t want to have anything to do with any of it, but you know.

so as much as tsuna would, of course, ask himself what would happen to him and his friends once he starts rebelling, for me he’d still have an advantage and some silver lining of protection to some extent in knowing he’s the last heir.

would he go after reborn tho? i mean if we’re realistic about this he’d have to, yeah, but it’d tear him apart and it’d be super interesting to see actually zerfdtdfd!! like, he likes reborn. loves him even, and was all but too ready and willing to put his life on the line for him. and actually that insidiousness from vongola is the most fucked up thing about all of this imo, because they don’t only bring bad things in tsuna’s life, and that was entirely on purpose.

they give him friends, people to care about and protect, and people who love him back just as much as he loves them. they make him care about life again and make him look forwards to it again, and give him things worth getting his hands bloody for, and though ultimately tsuna would see he shouldn’t be forced to get his hands that much bloody for them, does already see that in canon, he’d still be torn and feel guilty about rejecting all the bad things while still fiercely holding onto the good things because that’s just how he is.

and talking about his guardians, i know they’re sometimes made to be happy and willing enough to become mafia, and to ignore tsuna not wanting to become mafia because they want to, but for me that’s just not the truth and how it actually is. so as much as i think not all of them would necessarily understand why tsuna would be so resolute in earning his freedom from vongola (gokudera and lambo come to mind), i think their dynamics wouldn’t change at all and they’d stand right by tsuna helping him fight for the things he wants. and if nothing else, they would undoubtedly profit from not becoming mafia either (kyoko and takeshi’s father and haru’s parents staying safe come to mind).

would tsuna thoroughly try to cut all of his ties to the mafia tho? because he’d want to keep his guardians by his side, that much is a given, but he made himself mafia friends too, didn’t he? what about dino, dino who’s vongola and wouldn’t have any other choice but to go after him if he was ordered to? what about enma and his family? what about his dad? and what about reborn once again, where would he stand in all of this? on whose side would he stand once shit hits the fan?

all that to say, no matter what things would really go ugly, and as much as i believe tsuna would have a chance to win the fight for his freedom, he wouldn’t win it unscathed by no means. it would come with heavy sacrifices, would have to when we’re talking about vongola here, and all its power and resources and influence.

so i agree too that to make it happen tsuna would have no choice but to go after the whole mafia in general indeed, and wouldn’t have the luxury to do anything less but burn vongola down to the ground tbh. and talking about him having mafia friends, maybe he’d even do that from the inside, by staging a rebellion/leading a coup against vongola. and i mean, he’s been chosen as the heir to begin with because vongola became too corrupt and whatnot anyway, right? so maybe they’d even thank him while he’s setting everything up on fire lol!

[honeymouthedtales]

This chapter has answered all of my questions and theories that i have silently kept to myself to analyze them all by my lonesome. Ever since the Islands Arc started, my heart had been rooting for DS; seeing her disrespected and underestimated by her people, her family, makes me really sad. I feel like DH, and now their mother, were the only ones who truly believed in her. It makes me agitated no one thinks DS going to marry a foreigner, leaving her home to live in an enemy country, (cont.)

(cont.) bearing said enemy’s child is just as important, tiring and draining as DH being king. And now that she’s heir, people only care about missing DH and how he’s being treated… WTF!!! I’m so glad you brought to light about MK’s situation with being passed the crown from his brother, just like DS right now. I’ve always wondered how that played out; how MK and his brother felt and reacted to the new development, how their relationship was like. With MK and DS being in the same boat, (cont.)

(cont.) I feel like MK could really help her out and share how he’s handled it. MK-DS besties is so heartwarming! its like MK can finally see who DS is NOW than he did during their 15 years of engagement, they were too busy trying to play the perfect husband/wife to really build a true friendship, I could imagine. But DS has perseverance and resilience, to be able to withstand her role as a wife, no one would do what she could (MK said so). I can also imagine that DS training to be a (cont.)

(cont.) prince's wife had been different to training to be the wife of a future king. How did everyone back then feel that DS was going to be queen of the Vale? Her education could have changed to prep her for being a queen, but im guessing a wife in the Islands is different than a wife in the Vale. I could see how everyone looked down on her for trying to be a lady of the Vale and not a lady of the Shar. I’m secretly yearning for a DS side story, she deserves all the love and support!! (cont.)

(cont.) I’m so sorry about my rant, this was a lot I know! i hav a word limit to my ask. But I really needed to get this out of my chest now that ch 58 has satisfied all my theories! You have stated multiple times that you don’t plan ahead, you write as you go in the moment and I didn’t want to say anything for fear of changing your work process. But everything is good now!!! Keep up the good work! Stay healthy and happy!

Joining all your asks into one for clarity.

Yeah, one of the reasons I'm really happy to have written this arc is that for so long people have worked on assumptions greatly shaped by our main characters, Mark who knows very little about the Islands and has only been with Dongsoon a few weeks every year, and Donghyuck who is fiercely loyal to his country and misses it terribly and so is bound to have very good feelings about it.

Many people were surprised to see Dongsoon being neglected because they had come to imagine the Islands being a beautiful place, more fair and equal compared to the Vale. It's only partly true. While the Islands are more willing to challenge some outdated views, they're not a perfectly place and they're affected by period-typical prejudices.

I didn't always have in mind to make Dongsoon's experience being so hard in the Islands, but as soon as the arc started and Yangyang appeared I realized that it only made sense for him to disrespect her because he's used to her just being Donghyuck's sister and not the crown princess. And if he does it, then maybe other people are doing it. Dongsoon was raised to be someone who blended into the situation, doing her thing without being seen because that was seen as a virtue. She was also not trained with weapons (even though some girls are trained) nor in trade, because as the queen of the Vale she wouldn't be able to keep up with that kind of education. She was, however, trained to be a skilled diplomat, and she did study together with Donghyuck and they're both equally smart and not competitive with each other so her education as a princess is not lacking. But she never had to prove that she was fit to rule the way Donghyuck did, nor she gained anyone's respect by bonding with important people or participating in campaigns, or training with the troops.

That's why I really wanted her and Mark to have this moment, because Mark is seeing her as a fellow heir right now, and he's seeing her struggling with the same problems he had in the past, and as someone whose abilities have been doubted by his father again and again, and had to prove himself to everyone, he is in a place of understanding from where he can help her by sharing his experience.

Also, when I started writing this fic some characters were barely fleshed out. Dongsoon appeared so little in this fic in the beginning, and always in moments filled with tension, as a background to Mark and Donghyuck's troubled relationship (i.e. Mark's kiss with her is seen as a negative thing that threatens their relationship, and generally when we think of her spending time with Mark we imagine how must Donghyuck suffered because of it). The few times she appeared as a positive character were in Donghyuck's interludes, but I was really aching to show that Mark and Dongsoon had a good relationship and could even have a better one now.

I also really really wanted to avoid the 'Donghyuck is jealous of his sister route' because it never existed in my p.lans. He loves her dearly, he trusts her dearly, and it could've been easy to hate her for taking Mark when Donghyuck wanted him, but he simply didn't because he loves her. They have a lot of respect for each other, they trust each other, they love each other, and being apart was hard for both of them, especially after having this special bond.

And also it might not be immediate to understand, but the fact that they complete each other so well is one of the reasons no one realized they were Alpha and Omega, because they covered for each other's character flaws and always balanced each other out. Dongsoon always covered for Donghyuck when he got in trouble and went to save him like a good Alpha, but people thought she was an Omega wanting to comfort her Alpha brother. At the same time, Donghyuck was constantly acting out because he needed the attention, and people thought it was a sign of him being an Alpha dragging his sister along in his adventures, but it was actually Dongsoon who stopped him when he was going too far and he always listened to her and trusted her judgment. They are two sides of the same coin in the end.

So this - having Mark getting along with her - is going to make all of them happy, because Donghyuck has the most important Alphas in his life on his side, and both Mark and Dongsoon gain an Alpha friend (especially for Dongsoon, who has no experience being an Alpha, Mark's help will be invaluable) and an ally in stopping Donghyuck from doing something crazy. I'm so glad I had the chance to write about their relationship because I really like it.

[dojae-huh]

Did you watch ONE-TWO PUNCH?

I'm so interesting about Jungwoo revealed his priority that Doyoung do with him. Sometimes lots of fans think they're really close to eachother but ... just look at what jungwoo said?

PS. waiting for you to analyze this. I think there are many point that Jungwoo trying to tell us that he's not the real no.1

I have. I actually even saved my commentary, that I initially wrote but decided not to post.

------

At the very beginning Jungwoo tried to mimic Haechan with "Doyoung-ah, come out!". Except he used "Kim Doyoung". But his bravado didn't last long, in the next sentence he shifted to "Doyoung-ie-hyung". Habits. Reminds me how Jaehyun had troubles calling Doyoung "Doyoung-ah' during ShowChamp times.

8:36 - The funniest part was when Doyoung stood on tip-toes to become higher than Jungwoo, such an "animalistic" way of dominance, heh. Don't you use your height on me, brat!

DoWoo work in unexpected way. Do remembers small grudges and reminds Woo about them, but Woo has a tough skin and just brushes small things off.

21:00 - That was so real in comparison to measured DoWoo's bickering, lol.

--------

To answer your question. Yes, "I'm on the second, no, even on the third place" was about Jae and Tae respectively. It was half-joke, half-statement.

DoWoo didn't have greeviences, they invented it for the show. Although I'd say Do's sentiment "you only find me when you need an advice/help, but not to have fun with" was real (but sad with no real grudge, just a fact).

The sentence "you (Doyoung) call me only to eat together" was more revealing. Remember how during the quarantine Do commented that he didn't see Woo for a couple of days (they lived in the same building back then, 5th and 10th floors).

DoWoo's exchange supported what was guessed before by me. Although Woo is Do's bias, he isn't in his inner circle. A new nuance is that Woo spends enough time with Yuta for Doyoung to list his name alongside Mark. Notice, that Jaehyun wasn't mentioned. There is no best bros JaeWoo in reality. Jaehyun should be even more boring than Doyoung to spend time with, heh.

Doyoung and Jungwoo have a good hyung-dongsaeng relationship. Close to a mentor-pupil. Doyoung forgives Haechan a lot, but he reminds Woo about the smallest things. In a passive-agressive manner (joking), but the desire to not let Woo get away with things is there. Basically, they always battle for dominance, Do wins because he is a hyung and he has an upper hand mentally (his experience and resilience with the idol work).

I'll tell one thing, but readers should read it without feelings. Many fans get on the fence about close friendships.

Firstly. In the second epidose it was revealed that Doyoung congratulates Kun with BD despite it being January 1st. Doyoung and Kun are not close, they are classic collegues. Kun can help Doyoung arrange a cover, but Doyoung doesn't visit him in dorms. Still, they used to work closely together, they are of the same age, they are friendly and belong to the same family. Therefore Doyoung remembers to congratulate him, while Jungwoo, who was taken care of by Kun in the past, and who goes to WayV dorms to play, doesn't. Doyoung is attentive like that.

Doyoung takes on "projects". For a period of time he pays newcomers or those members that need it special focused attention. When he thinks he is not needed anymore, he refocuses on other things or members. WinWin, Jungwoo, Johnny and Yuta are prime examples. Doyoung wrote homework in Korean for WW, explained how to order food, etc. WW found good friends in others soon, so Do never developed as strong an attachment to him as he did with Jeno or Mark. When WW is nearby, Do dotes on him, but it's Jae who is WW's friend, who keeps in touch.

Same with Jungwoo. Do paid him a lot of attention, he even roommed with him in US, because it was Woo's first trip abroad. However, once Woo became integrated into 127, he "was left" to Mark and Taeil. Doyoung renewed his focused attention after Woo's comeback since his hiatus, but only for some time.

People don't become best friends only because they spend a lot of time together. They become friends or comrades, but best friends need to click. Doyoung is boring for Jungwoo, Woo wants things his way and be entertained/played with. Do wants rest outside of working hours. So how can they become very close if Woo isn't interested in just spending time in each others space. And when there are so many other contestants, who usurp Do's "active hours" time (like Taeyong during practices).

[jdgo51]

Translating Your Suffering into a Durable Hope

Today's inspiration comes from:

The Deepest Place

by Curt Thompson, MD

"Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we boast in the hope of the glory of God. Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us." — Romans 5:1–5

"'Max’s interminable ruminations, always worrying about never getting it right, never being good enough in his career, had the effect of both sweeping him into the fast track of advancement — because of how hard he worked in response to his worry — and leading him to accumulate a life of misery along the way.

Carmina was married to a man who, committed as he was to the tenets of their faith, had no commitment whatsoever to being curious about his inner life or his outer harshness that he frequently directed at her in public, leaving her to a life of longing and languishing, trapped in a dry well of sadness and despair.

Edwin’s autoimmune arthritic condition had, over twenty years, slowly done everything but kill him. He didn’t want to die. But he had a hard time wanting to live.

Karen lost her husband in Afghanistan and her son to a drug overdose. Now she most feared losing her very soul to the subsequent continual pain of loss that she perceived as nearly too much to bear.

Westin’s serial infidelities had corrupted everyone and everything around him. The very thought of an intimate relationship, despite his desperate longing for one, only compounded his shame and his fear of that very thing he most longed for. Shame and fear that consumed most of his waking hours.

Paulina had done hard, effective spiritual and emotional work for several years, developing resilience and joy on so many fronts. Why, then, did the old, familiar family story continue to haunt her, blindsiding her at the most inopportune times, leaving her emotionally distraught for days on end?

Time in prison was one thing. Living with the shame of it after being released was worse. What was Garrett to do with the incessant battering his mind had to withstand simply to get from the morning to the night as he tried to forget his past?

To be human is to suffer.

Indeed, suffering was at the center of the experiences of each of the people whose stories you just read. It was ultimately, in fact, what prompted and escorted them into my office. Moreover, hope felt desperately out of reach, often perceived as a mirage that evaporated anytime any of them was engulfed with the images and sensations of their affliction.

But although it was perceived to be beyond them, hope was not completely out of their visual field, or they would not have been speaking with me in the first place. However, it only flitted through their peripheral vision; suffering — and the attendant story that they were telling about it — most often occupied their direct sight line.

Certainly, each person’s suffering is unique to the individual; with a nod to Tolstoy, each of us is unhappy — we suffer — in our own particular way. At the same time, the suffering of those who have joined me in my office shared common characteristics. However, beyond our awareness that all suffering shares common attributes, most important is the reality that we all suffer, even if we are often quite extraordinarily unaware of it.

Suffering — while not God’s ideal intention — is a necessary element in our becoming our truest, most beautiful, most Heaven-ready selves.

The question is not if we each suffer. It is, rather, To what degree are we aware of it? and How are we in relationship with and responding to it? These questions reveal not only the story we believe we are living in, but the role that suffering plays in that narrative.

You have chosen to read this article for any number of reasons. You may be one who suffers, and you know it. Or perhaps you know someone else who suffers, and you want to help them. Or you may be curious about suffering but don’t think you encounter it that often or that deeply and have questions about why that is. Perhaps you wonder if the pain you hold qualifies as suffering and want to know if you are permitted to name it as such. In the face of your suffering or that of others, you long to discover and maintain hope, all the while attempting to make sense of the suffering in the process.

But I will tell you why I would likely want to read a book, any book, about suffering. At some level,

I am hoping that I will discover how I will be able to suffer less. Less painfully. Less often. I want to know more about suffering so that I can have less of it in my life. Of course, it’s okay if I learn some things about it along the way — but again, only if what I learn helps me mitigate it.

If I am going to read a book about suffering and hope, I would anticipate that the first step would be either to understand suffering or, even better, to discover solutions for it, so that at the end of the day in some way I actually won’t have to suffer as much as I might otherwise. And therein would lie the hope. Why would I want to read something that would merely validate and reinforce the message, “Yes, you’re right. Suffering is hard. End of story.” Where is there any hope in that message?

I want to be hopeful. Hopeful that I have agency to diminish my suffering. Because, I admit, I don’t easily comprehend how hope and suffering coexist in my mind and life. But one of the things you will learn over the course of my book The Deepest Place is that, from the standpoint of the biblical narrative and in light of what we are discovering about neuroscience,

suffering — while not God’s ideal intention — is a necessary element in our becoming our truest, most beautiful, most Heaven-ready selves.

It is an unavoidable reality of life. One that God plainly does not fully deliver us from in the time frame we would like, if ever.

Moreover, it is a reality that he seems just as plainly committed to using suffering — for reasons that are a great mystery to me — to transform us into who He wants us to become. However, it remains something that I most often choose to avoid if possible instead of accepting it as having anything to do with becoming who I actually long to be.

All of this is both very hard and very good news. It’s easy to imagine why it is hard. But to approach understanding how in any universe it could be good will require what may be a severe overhaul of our imaginations. The Deepest Place intends to address what is required for us to form deeply embedded, durable hope, not only in the presence of our pain but as a direct result of it.

I make no promise that we will suffer less. But I am confident that we will suffer differently and will become even more durably hopeful as a result. Primarily, I expect us to come to see that hope is actually a word that, in the world of interpersonal neurobiology, serves as a proxy for an ever-deepening attachment love with Jesus and the commensurate awareness of God’s relational presence of lovingkindness."'

Adapted from The Deepest Place: Suffering and the Formation of Hope by Curt Thompson, MD.

[innovativestruggles]

ObiRin Misconception - Obito’s Trauma

Okay why is it that I am seeing so many obirin hate lately? Let me clear up some misunderstandings. This is by no means a post for people to change their minds about shipping obirin (ship whoever you want, it’s not my business), rather, people are disliking this ship for reasons I find ... well... baffling. 

So here is my perspective (and no, it does not invalidate another’s perspective in any way just in case you’re wondering).

I have always been an avid obirin shipper, and as a feminist, people may question the contradictory nature of this.

Obito is in an incredibly complex character and alas, there is a reason why I absolutely love him. He is my favourite, has always been and will always be (also, he’s a villain and he’s hot). Though there are parallels between Obito and Naruto, it’s important to distinguish the nuances. Both characters had no family growing up (I am not going to count Obito’s grandma as she is an anime only character and not technically canon), had it tough at the Academy, disliked by a lot of people and technically an outlier. However, Obito never had an older mentor growing up, whereas Naruto did (that would be Iruka). When children are growing and developing, having someone to provide that nurturing environment and guidance is crucial for their mental and physical development. Because neither of them had their families, Naruto was lucky that he had Iruka. Iruka provided that big brother figure, the mentor and in some ways a caring environment for Naruto, despite the hardships. Obito, however, did not receive any of this. 

What Obito did have, was Rin. The two have been childhood friends for a very long time. Rin gave Obito that sense of security and attachment, despite them being the same age. She always cared for him and saw him more than just some dumbass nuisance Uchiha outlier. Obito’s love for Rin transcended romance. Of course the romance was the overt part, but his love for her was his sense of security. She was his safe space. When a child grows up without love or care from a parenting figure or a mentor, they will find ways to cope and latch onto the closest thing they can find safety and comfort in. Rin took on this role. So when Rin was killed before him, naturally there would be a sense of deep despair and anger. The trauma for Obito was remarkably intense, and his ability to bounce back from adversities was nullified. Why? Because;

1) The intensity of the trauma, grief and loss 

and 

2) The safety net, safe space and sense of security that shielded him from the world’s adversities were gone. Obito had nowhere to go.

A lot of people would say: “but he had Minato,” “he had Kakashi,” “he had Kushina.” Yes he did, and they were kind to him (minus Kakashi, and I will get to him in a sec) but they only came into his life for a short period of time. Their interactions were not on an intense level as it was with he and Rin. People need to remember that Obito learnt his idea of safe attachment on his own and he latched onto Rin. He was never taught to do that with adults as he grew older. Naruto however, had Iruka, who most likely taught him a lot of things about the importance of the village, the importance of camaraderie, friendship etc Obito did not have this, so naturally, his ability to trust adults (even loving kind ones like Minato and Kushina) would take a lot longer or sit very tentatively. If there were conflict or adversity, he would run to Rin, or think of her because that was all he knew.

If you unpack Obito’s character, there were immense attachment issues and trauma that most likely transcended what Naruto had. Naruto had his fair share of trauma but he had support that allowed for some resiliency. Obito was NOT obsessed with Rin. He was not infatuated with her. He was psychologically intermeshed with her. This is very different from so called obsession and infatuation. Psychological intermeshment stems from traumatic upbringing in childhood (lack of nurturance from an adult caregiver, abandonment etc), and then again from losing their sense of security/safety (Rin in this case). Because Obito was so intermeshed with Rin, losing her was essentially losing himself - and he blatantly said this. He lost all hope when she died. So he did what he could to get that sense of security back, even if what he did was questionable.

Then you have the complexity of the curse of hatred that intertwines the storyline, which make things even more complicated. But this curse was what pushed the storyline and placed Obito as an antagonist. He did not start a war because of a girl. He started a war because he was angry with the way the world functioned. How the countless wars kept ending lives and taking loved ones away from people. He did not want people to go through what he went through. In essence, this mindset has villain written all over it, but it also compels a strong backstory for Obito because of his complex childhood upbringing and the trauma he experienced.

We move to Kakashi, who had his fair share of childhood trauma. But people need to remember that he had a father who provided that nurturing environment for him. Even if his father died in tragic circumstances, Kakashi, though traumatised, was able to bounce back and push forward with the support of his friends and village. He had an adult attachment figure (gosh I sound so social workey but this is how it is) where he learnt how to tackle adversities. Again, with the death of Rin, there was trauma there for him too. So why was it so different between Obito, Kakashi and Naruto? The latter two being able to bounce back and push forward but Obito lost control? It all comes back to childhood upbringing and the presence of an adult caregiver/mentor. That, and then again, the presence of the curse of hatred (which was why Sasuke was pretty fucked up despite coming from a loving family). 

Something else I’d like to add re; Kakashi. He started being nice to Obito in that one episode where they were trying to locate Rin. He was a plain asshole before that. So technically the two of them were never on friendly terms before this event. Kakashi did not give two shits about anything aside from completing the mission. This is the reason why I do not ship Obito x Kakashi. To me there was no love, care and nurturing between those two. Obito “died” not long after being friendly with Kakashi, so that wouldn’t warrant a ship between those two. Whereas with Rin, it is a different story. Also, for those of you who thinks it is creepy that Obito has photos of Rin on his board, I’d be surprised if your 12-13yo self didn’t put love hearts of your crush over their school photos, or tested your marriage names together. Seriously.

So to summarise; Lack of childhood nurturance + lack of adult caregiver + trauma + curse of hatred = Obito

And like I said, just because of all this crap Obito’s been through, it does not excuse what he did or make what he did right (he was a villain after all).

Yeah okay rant over.

I’m open to discussion, but please keep it civil.

[roswellnmsource]

Lily Cowles Talks Stunt Work on Roswell, New Mexico & the Action-Packed Final Episodes This Season

So, finding out that there's been another alien Roswell really threw the audience for a loop. What were you thinking when you heard that there would be another alien in town?

I mean, I was like, finally. I'm ready for a little new alien blood in the mix, like let's stir it up. We've had our little pod squad, and we have this super tight little dynamic, and it's been pretty insular. They've had to keep everything to themselves, and so I think finding out that there's another person that's like them, another alien. How exciting.

What are the implications? This might change everything. I was really excited about it. I'm like, let's go, plus he's super cute, so.

That's very true. Can you preview what's next for Isobel and everyone as they process this new development?

Yeah, well, I think Isobel is...I think her initial reaction she's excited to bring someone new into the fold. And it's a little more complicated than that. We have a conversation you see with Isobel and Kyle, where he sort of is like, you might want to take this a little slow because this is a man of God.

This is a man whose vocation is faith-based. And to tell him that he's an alien might kind of complicate his life.

So, how much do you really want to ruin someone's life by telling them that they're an alien or change it for the better but I think Isobel is looking forward to kind of bringing someone newer to the fold and wants to share everything and learn from him.

And she's pretty enthusiastic about it. And it's going to have to learn how to handle that with grace and tack, which I think can sometimes be difficult for her. I know she can sometimes be quite straightforward with things.

Beyond that, Isobel is going on a date in this episode, which is so exciting for her. And I think she's going to be faced with having to break down some of the walls that she's built up that she's been working on. So, I'm kind of like personal internal conflict, but also a lot of opportunity.

And I think our writers handle it all so well, and it's going to unfold in a very fun way.

Sure. So, family is very important to not only the fabric of Roswell but to Isobel in particular. Can you tell us a bit about what family means to Isobel?

Yeah. I mean, I think Isobel has always had to lean so much on her brothers. There may have been the small amount of codependency. You might say with the trio because they have this enormous secret, they can't share with anybody else.

I mean, me personally, I have so many friends. I like to go around and talk about all my problems and everything with all my friends, but Isobel doesn't have as many people, or she didn't up until recently that she could talk about these things with, so her family was sort of everything for her.

These two people who understood who she was and saw her for who she truly was.

For the rest of the world, she had to, for many years of her life, kind of wear this mask and do a kind of performance of something that was sort of half-truth. Now, her circle has expanded a bit over the seasons of Roswell, which has been great—adding friends like Maria and Rosa and Kyle, Alex, and of course, Liz.

We've gotten all this new group of people that can support her. But I think the first 25 years of her life were basically just her and her brothers. And so, that loyalty goes really deep, and I think it will always be the trump card for her. I think it will always take precedent over everything else, which can be good, and it can be bad.

Yeah. And that kind of leads me into my next question, which is that Isobel has some of the best dynamics on the show. From Isobel and Michael and their brother, sister bond. And obviously Isobel and Max and this new bond now with Maria. What's your favorite Isobel dynamic?

It's hard to pick one because I love them all so much. I love working with Amber. I love the Isobel and Rosa dynamic so much because it's...there's so many layers in there. There's definitely the 'Oops. I'm sorry that I murdered you with your friends'.

But then also, Isobel kind of guiding her in Rosa's journey learning about her powers, and I think Isobel really took her under her wing. And I think that means a lot to Isobel to be able to be a guide for someone and somebody's mentor. But as time has gone on, the tables have also been turning.

There are lots of times when Rosa has been a mentor to Isobel.

And I love the female dynamics, that is... it's so rich. There's so much in there. Two women who are learning from each other and growing and supportive of each other, and challenging each other to be better. And it comes from this really complicated history that they were able to overcome.

So, to me, that sort of female dynamic is just like, oh, I love to see that.

I love Isobel and Kyle together too. It's really fun. Isobel knows how to shoot. She comes in just with so much energy. And I think there's something that happens. There's some kind of chemistry there, right? There's something, and it all maybe started at Planet Seven.

But, I think Kyle is someone that Isobel really trusts and leans on, and he's like this solid foundation for her, like a real confidant. But then there's more to it than that.

And there's something that's just, it's hard to put your finger on with them, but whenever I'm working with Michael Trevino, the scenes just...we find these little places that things just kind of pop and these unexpected moments come up and it feels like a really complex dynamic.

And I'm excited to see where that goes.

For sure. I got to talk to Michael, and he said very similarly that you guys had a really great dynamic, and he'd like to see more Kyle and Isobel scenes.

You know, give the world what they want! How bout it, Roswell!

Yes! So, Isobel has gone on quite the journey throughout the course of Roswell, and throughout season three as well, we've seen as she's dealt with Jones. So, can you speak to Isobel's resilience and how we will continue to see her growth?

Yeah, absolutely. Playing Isobel has been such an honor because it's a story that I think is so powerful for so many women. She began as this kind of Barbie doll. She was very performative, had this perfect little mask on. She was kind of closed off to the world but had this way of acting that seemed right.

And I think that's the dynamic that a lot of women can relate to.

It's like wanting to come off as being sort of perfect and having this veneer that seems like everything is good, but you're really disconnected from this deep, authentic truth that might be a lot more complicated and maybe messier, but you know what Isobel had to go through in Season One with Noah, it just rips that all off.

I mean, it wasn't by choice.

It happened to her. She was definitely victimized by the thing, and she had basically no other choice but to grow and adapt. And it gave her an enormous amount of freedom. And so often, suffering is terrible, you wouldn't wish it on anyone, and yet it can also lead to enormous amounts of growth.

And that's what I got to see with Isobel that she had to pick herself back up and connect with those deep parts of herself that she'd kind of been denying her whole life. And become strong. You have to find that strength within herself and not just leaning on the men around her.

She didn't have any female friends, and she was pretty co-dependent with all the men in her life. And Season Two, we saw Isobel discovering herself on her own terms.

And I think it's such an incredible gift that the writers gave to this show to see a female doing that, to find her way on her own terms and sort of have to relearn everything and say, "Well, who am I? What do I want? And how do I get that?"

And now we're just seeing her continuing down that path, she's becoming this warrior, she's becoming this total badass, and I think there's never like an end to it.

It's not like she started out like this, and now it's like the end of the story, 'Hooray! She found herself, and now she's like a badass warrior.' It's in Season Three, I think we're seeing her struggling with what does it mean to be a warrior? What does it mean to try to be a strong female?

How much are we suddenly becoming too self-protective when we begin to build this armor where we're making sure that no one's going to hurt us again? Well, is that armor preventing us from also being vulnerable with other people?

And I think the writers have been so gracious to give this arc to a female character that's been so multifaceted.

So, I'm just so grateful. I can't wait to see where Isobel goes, and she just keeps evolving and changing and shedding her skin and becoming something new, and like I said, it's never like a destination; it's all about the journey. So that's been really fun as an actor to be able to play with.

I have to ask about the stunts in episode eight because the scenes between you and Nathan were fantastic. How was it to shoot those scenes?

Oh my God, it was so much fun. Season Two, I had told Carina, our showrunner at the time, girl put me in some action stuff because I had some martial arts background. And after everything that had happened to Isobel, I was like it'd be great for her to become more empowered in her own physical body too.

So that, we started to kind of build the foundation there, and we're seeing it now paying off, all of this training that Isobel is always talking about. We're finally seeing her in action.

In that episode, in 3x08, directed by Benjamin Bray Hernandez, it was so incredible to actually be able to do this stunt work and with Nathan, who's a great, great stunt guy too.

I mean, I swear in another life, he would like to be a stuntman, Nathan. But the two of us actually got to do most of our own stuff.

I mean all of the pool cue, all of the hand to hand. There were a couple of things that a stunt person came in when we did the backflip over the table. We're like, yeah, that's not to break your neck during that. But besides that, everything was us, and it was so much fun to work with a director who was himself a stuntman.

So, he knew how to really direct.

Every strike needs to be telling a story and the way that he filmed it on the actual film, the lens that he was using. All of this stuff was just, it was like a masterclass in stunt work. So much fun, I was so sore, and while I thought that we were using pool cues, I was like, "I'm sorry, I have never used a pool cue in a fight."

And of course we got on the set, and Nathan from Texas, is there whipping it all around in his hand, spinning the pool cue, homie has been in like 15 pool bar fights, and I'm like, "How do you hold it?"

But I think we're a pretty good match-up, and there's more to come between Nathan and I. I'm so grateful. He's an incredible partner to work with. I feel so safe with him. I did one time jab him with the butt of my pool cue pretty hard in the groin.

So, sorry for that, Nathan. But besides that, it was such a fun experience, and I'd love to do more of that.

That's amazing. Outside of Isobel's storyline this season, has there been another story that you've really enjoyed that's played out in Season Three?

I mean, all of it is so compelling.

I've loved seeing, in this last episode, we saw Alex taking on so many of the demons that I think this beautiful parallel storyline of Alex and Michael, both working through the traumas of their parents, what they've inherited from their parents. Michael learning that he is the son of this evil dictator, but his mother is maybe this amazing hero.

And Alex working through the trauma of what his father was.

And I think that a compelling, compelling story is what we inherit from our parents and what we choose to move forward with or what we want to rebel against.

Do we become our parents, or are we given the opportunity to change them, fix their mistakes? And Kyle is dealing with this too with his father and the Valenti code and all of that.

So, I love that the lineage, the kind of questioning of how lineage proceeds through us and what our obligation is to the family line, I think that's beautiful.

And last question for me, with the finale on the horizon, what can the audience expect from these last batches of episodes?

Oh my gosh. Stuff gets so crazy, Whitney! It pops off. I mean, filming it was some of the most intense work I've ever done. We were like Marines. We were like Navy seals. We bonded so hard over just the sheer physical, emotional, and psychological difficulty that we all have to go through over these next few episodes.

It's full of action. It is full of suspense. It's going to be such a roller coaster for the audience, and I cannot wait for them to see it. It's going to be a huge payoff. Our writers did an incredible job, and yeah, I think it's just going to knock people's socks off.