#the second one makes me think of kirby almost... awesome as always

[clawdiia]

spotify listens from the past week

click ⬆

[tyrantisterror]

The ATOM Create a Kaiju Contest 3-D: Entry Roundup

You’ve been patiently waiting for the results of the ATOM Create a Kaiju Contest 3-D, and now... you have to wait a bit longer, but at least you’ve got an entry roundup with lots of sketches and a good bit of feedback for all the entrants!  My goal is to get the finalists illustrated in a week or two, and after that, the grand prize winner will be announced.  But, for now, the official entry roundup!  After the cut:

I should note that while I sketched these in the order they were submitted, my scanner saved the documents with random names, so they’re a bit jumbled.  You know, just in case you’re like me and would get confused noticing that it’s almost in chronological order but with some entries jumbled around.

@bugcthulhu’s Obsideban was designed as a counterpart to Rohobaron - the Black King to Rohobaron’s Red King, if you will.  Or, well, Black Queen in this case, as Obsideban also takes her personality from the “delinquent girl” archetype in Japanese media.  Bug’s designs always ooze personality, and I had a lot of fun translating this big, gnarly retrosaur into my own style.

@toothlessloveshiccup‘s Argonox is the first - but far from the last - monster in this breakdown that brings in a bit of fantasy influence to ATOM’s roster.  A golden-fleeced ram with a vicious streak, this sheep is both treasure and dragon at once.  And while it wasn’t written in the monster’s profile, given the Yamaneon-rich nature of its wool, Argonox might be able to replicate the healing power of the golden fleece too!  A very fun mammalian kaiju and excellent entry.

@highly-radioactive-nerd submitted Gunmetal Jeeves, a robot butler who can gigantomax temporarily create a holographic/hard light version of himself to fight kaiju.  That detail was a late revision added to the entry before the contest’s deadline, made after the creator realized that ATOM allows for some truly ludicrous bullshit, which is something everyone should exploit when making entries for this in my opinion.  Also, this is a robot butler who can size shift.  Revel in its awesome absurdity!

Ultranerd submitted Rajasaurus, a dimetrodon-like synapsid kaiju with electric powers.  His origin specifies that the electric powers are a result of the volatile nature of the Yamaneon deposits he mutated under, which is an interesting idea.  That’s another theme that cropped up a lot in this contest’s entries, actually - people really wanted to play with what Yamaneon can do.

Case in point, @polygonfighter’s Yamaneolith takes the Monolith Monsters homage at the heart of Yamaneon even more apparent.  I like the implication that there is a second mineral-based lifeform at the root of this Yamaneon cluster’s anomalous behavior - a parasite, perhaps?  It brings up some interesting possibilities.

@ariccio50 submitted Kukulkuzana, and damn is this a cool spin on the body plan of my martians.  I made a few changes here and there (splitting its tail into two is probably the biggest one), but tried to keep true to the original design, because holy hell is it gorgeous.  The idea that this is a mountain-dwelling creature is really intriguing to me, as it looks like a sea creature, but at the same time, that flexible and low-slung build WOULD work pretty well in mountains, and it’s just the right mix of plausible weirdness that makes for a fun alien design.

@akitymh submitted Aramzados, a Venusian monster that’s basically an organic hot rod car.  I like the idea of organic machinery being the gimmick for Venusian kaiju, and Aramzado’s does it subtly enough to not feel like that gimmick is the sole thing going for it.  I especially love this monster’s stange, apparently mouth-less blade-beaked face.

@virovac submitted Rurzar and Zar Rider, a Beyonder kaiju and mecha (respecitvely) that were both modified and repurposed by humans reverse engineering Beyonder technology to make, like, a motorcycle-saurus essentially.  It is a delightfully absurd concept, and a very, very detailed one (13 pages of description).  There’s a dark undercurrent beneath the sillyness, though, as this pair show that humanity might still be following the same path as the Beyonders before them.

@dinosaurana brings us Krangor, a humanoid monstrosity of living kelp!  The goal here was to create a Jack Kirby-esque monster dude, complete with the gibberish name and all.  He’s also made out of kelp, which feels very classic 1950′s monster-y despite me not being able to think of any monsters that were explicitly made of kelp.  I love him.

@kiryuthechimera submitted Genkakurah, a psychic retrosaur with some draconic features.  Though his substantial powerset is probably the biggest distinguishing feature of this kaiju (given that most ATOM kaiju pretty much have the same standard powers), what really draws me to him is that reptilian pseudo-beard.  It’s just a fun detail!

@glarnboudin submits Tiratola, and see, there’s that fantasy influence again!  Even more explicitly dragon-y than Kraydi, Tiratola still manages to toe the line between sci-fi and fantasy enough to fit ATOM as is while still cementing its ties to my own slice of fantasy fiction.  Man it’s good I’m doing a Midgaheim book next, huh?

@dragonzzilla submitted Scuttlebutt/Argonautilus, a hermit crab kaiju who lives in/with a hollowed out mecha.  That’s a twist I can’t recall ever hearing before, and the idea of a kaiju and a mecha having an equal partnership that doesn’t involve one being grafted to the other is really intriguing to me.  A very unique concept!

@evolutionsvoid submitted Fleagor, an enormous flea who has no idea what to do with itself now that there’s no creature large enough for it to parasitize.  I love that concept - it takes the core idea of the giant bug kaiju archetype (i.e. unsettling the audience by showing how terrifying small, “insignificant” creatures would be if our sizes were reversed) and really turns it on its head.  The name also plays on the Universal Monsters, who were a huge part of 1950′s pop culture thanks to their movies being re-released in that era, so all and all this one is very on brand for ATOM!

@skarmorysilver submitted Lilacorn, another entry that plays up that Midgaheim/ATOM connection.  Reinterpreting the mythological unicorn as an Cenozoic wooly rhinoceros-inspired monster gives it a very unique look, both in ATOM and in the general world of unicorns, and she has a bad-girl with a heart of gold personality to boot!

dracosaurus-rex submitted Florasaura, a two-headed plant/retrosaur hybrid monster.  I love me some plant monsters, I love me some retrosaurs, and I love me some rhyming the word “flora” with other words that contain similar vowell sounds, so this one has me written all over it!

@downtofragglerock submitted Sauroguana, a delightfully odd flying retrosaur.  There’s a great deal of charm to the original illustration that this sketch doesn’t quite capture - it’s a deceptively simple design with a lot of personality in it, and with those unique leg-wings it really doesn’t need a whole lot of frills to stand out.

Draxi submitted Brakan, an unimpressive burrowing retrosaur kaiju whose mastery of illusions allows it to convince other kaiju it’s actually a big, super-powerful badass that’s the ultimate fighter in the universe.  It’s a delightful parody of the concept of a fan self-insert god-mode character, with a really fun story built into it to boot!

@quinnred submitted O.N.I.A.C., a mysterious cocooned kaiju whose chrysalis has been turned into an organic computer of sorts by the people studying it, and seems to possess a fairly advanced intelligence for a kaiju.  It’s a really bizarre and ominous idea, with built in intrigue given how vague its nature is.  Is it just a kaijufied butterfly/moth who got stuck mid transformation?  A relative of the Mothmanuds?  Something else, perhaps equally alien?  Good story potential here.

shadyserpent submitted Vespilitor, a bat/retrosaur hybrid made by the nefarious Spooks Organization.  A mercurial prankster whose tendency to stir up trouble never crosses the line into maliciousness, he’s the kind of monster who would make a great foil to a lot of ATOM’s cast.  I’d especially like to see him in a prank off with Ahuul - it’d be like Bugs Bunny fighting Daffy Duck, but on a kaiju scale.

@multiversefan submitted the Yamaneon King, a nomadic kaiju whose refusal to settle down causes problems as he stirs up trouble at kaiju sanctuaries all over the globe by showing up unannounced and stirring up the locals.  He was basically designed to be a monster that the kaiju sanctuary initiative would struggle to deal with, which is a good idea for a post-ATOM Volume 2 story conflict.

Sir K submitted Jadeera, a kirin kaiju that can actually forcibly convert most of its body to Yamaneon to enter a dormant, statue-like state in a loose homage to King Shisa.  Though the fantasy elements are far more present than I usually prefer for ATOM kaiju, I think it should be noted they’re pushed that far for a purpose - a theme in Jadeera’s entry, which continues where its creator left off with their submission to the previous ATOM create a kaiju contest (Yokaigon), is that the world of kaiju is more complicated and challenging than many are willing to accept, which is a theme in ATOM itself.  Yokaigon’s more supernatural/occult powers are based on the ghost parascience of my setting, which ATOM has delved into a bit (Pathogen being the big example), so it’s not as out of left field as some might think.

@cerothenull​ brings us our final entry (unless some got lost thanks to tumblr’s shitty tagging system), the flying spider Naeranti.  She’s a kaiju spider who uses silk to make complicate hot-air balloons, more or less, and that’s just delightful.  ATOM could always use more spider-monsters, and with a really unique gimmick backing up a wonderfully distinct look, Naeranti is sure to stand out among her fellow giant arachnids.

Well, that’s the roundup!  In a week (or two, depending on how much my hand cramps) we’ll have the five finalists, and sometime after that, the grand prize winner!

[soyouareandrewdobson]

Andy on Asian Animation or SYAC: The Master Review 2

Let’s talk a bit about anime and Dobson’s work relation with it.

I think we can all agree, that starting from the late 90s and early 2000s on, anime and manga became extremely popular in the western world. Sure, Japanese animation was nothing completely new to us (Speed Racer, Nadia-Secret of Blue Water, Samurai Pizza Cats, Sailor Moon, Kimba and Akira e.g. come to my mind as properties already known in the west before 1995) but it really was around this time that thanks to “mainstream” stuff like Dragon Ball and Pokemon people became aware of how different Japanese animation was from western. Eventually resulting in the really good shit (like Cowboy Bebop, Black Lagoon, Kenshin and Heat Guy J) coming over and enriching nerd culture for more than just a few people who knew of it as an obscurity at that point. Now, if you know anything about Dobson, you likely know that his relationship with anime is rather… complicated to say the least. Or, to let him explain it with his own words…

Dobson essentially likes silly and wacky 90s anime. But later on he hated anime in general, because it got too popular and a bad experience with an anime club in college soured his enjoyment of it. Furthermore, he put the blame on his lackluster art style and storytelling capabilities as seen in the likes of Formera, Patty and Alex ze Pirate, on anime in general, while also claiming that Disney pulling the plug on 2D animation is the result of the “anime inspired” Treasure Planet, meaning anime in a sense deprived him of his chance at working at his dream job and “ruining” western animation.

Which to me has always been ignorant as fuck. For starters, I can understand not liking certain stories or genres, either for objective or subjective reasons. But to hate on an entire nation’s form of entertainment (not just individual shows or genres), depriving yourself of the chance of potentially watching a lot of good stuff while also being rather insulting to these other works and people enjoying them? Especially when the stuff you can supposedly “stomach” has been rather simplistic compared to other things?

 Second, blaming Japan for “poisoning” your art style? What, did the ghost of Osamu Tezuka possess you and FORCE you to put sweatdrops on your characters forehead while also going for the rather simplistic character style of Rumiko Takahashi, as well as emulating the slapstick of the likes as Slayers and Ranma ½?

 Next, if he had emulated them successfully, I say he would have actually managed to tell decent enough stories worth to read online. Not create Uncle Peggy aka “Discount Happosai” or the bland proto-Isekai known as Formera.

I mean, let’s give some context here: There have been people who successfully managed to emulate certain anime and manga aesthetics into western animation and make it work. Otherwise we wouldn’t have gotten the likes of Avatar-The last Airbender, Samurai Jack, the Animatrix, Thundercats 2011, Super Robot Monkey Hyperforce Go, Kim Possible, W.I.T.C.H, Megas XLR and Wakfu. You know, shows that are actually awesome as hell.

Heck, Dobson’s favorite animated show of the last decade, Steven Universe, is heavily inspired by anime aesthetics to the point of being embarrassing.

 But Dobson… well, he emulated anime aesthetics in his work the same way as these crimes against animation did.

Combined with his general shortcomings as a storyteller it is no wonder his initial comics did not do well.

 Lastly, and sorry for digressing here a bit, but if the Wikipedia entry on Treasure Planet is something to go by, there was no real inspiration by anime involved in making this movie.

Supposedly the idea of making an animated Treasure Planet in outer space movie was already pitched by Ron Clements WAY BACK in 1985 but only came to be after Michael Eisner greenlighted stuff in the late 90s. Design wise the movie was supposed to look 70% traditional and 30% sci-fi inspired and people took inspiration for the art style by illustrators associated with the Brandywine School of Illustration. A western style of illustration established in the 19th century, that had a big impact on the illustration styles for many 19th and early 20th century adventure novels and short stories.

What, is anime supposed to be the only form of animation allowed to have sci fi elements or steampunk in it? Fucks sake, The Lion King and Atlantis, which came out one year earlier to Treasure Planet, were likely more inspired by anime. Don’t believe me? Watch Atlantis and then a certain anime by Studio Gainax called “Nadia-Secret of Blue Water”. Or read up on the controversy surrounding the two.

The truth is, it is not entirely clear what caused Disney to shut down 2D feature film animation in the early 2000s. In fact, if anything, most people put the blame on Michael Eisner and a certain change in the publics taste in movies in general, combined with Disney trying to turn almost every movie they had into a franchise via cheap follow up movies on video and DVD.

And even if Disney did not shut down, are we really supposed to believe that a certain guy with fedora would have made it big at Disney to the point Alex ze Pirate would have been made into a feature film?

But Dobson could never quite understand this and instead of “reinventing” himself properly, he would rant about anime and its fans in one form or another…

 And on the peak of his hissy fit create this little art piece he baptized Anime Sux. Alternatively “West vs East”. Or as I like to call it, slap a jap.

Now, the pic was done in 2008 and Dobson claimed sometimes in the last decade, that he no longer holds his old opinions. Unfortunately, by that point he would also more or less use the chance to vent in his webcomic about anime (or rather its fans), which brings us finally back to SYAC.

 While Dobson never outright thematized in more detail WHY he hates anime and manga in SYAC (likely cause if his comic reasoning was even slightly like his reasoning in his blogs, people would have torn him apart like a bag of paper) he did use the format to punch down on anime fans and their preferences.

 For example, for someone who has a 4chan story going around of having been rather arrogant towards others in college for not liking Ranma ½, Dobson has THIS little college related comic to show off, where he portrays an aspiring manga artist as a delusional jackass.

Then in this strip titled manga, his manga fan is essentially portrayed as a young woman dressing up like a very stereotypical high school anime girl, who is in the wrong for even just DARING to draw her comics in the direction manga are read.

On one hand, I get Dobson’s point. She could be at risk of alienating a market of readers as she is obviously drawing for a western audience. Then again, if she doesn’t draw a traditional western comic but a manga, why shouldn’t she? I mean, as long as she enjoys it, which I assume she does as she seems genuinely just happy when stating that she likes manga, why not let her? Plus, this comic was drawn in the late 2000s. I think by then most people kinda knew how to read from right to left, so Dobson’s claim she would alienate or confuse people is kinda redundant. If anything I find a) Dobson getting angry at her just very petty (just let her have fun) and b) portraying a western manga fan as someone who would be confused by the sheer idea of reading stuff from right to left is also in itself just really dumb and insulting. What is Dobson trying to imply? That anime fans are so stuck in the way they consume certain media, they can’t act according to “western standards” again?

Then there is this strip where yet another female anime fan is essentially portrayed as the embodiment of how “ignorant” manga fans are of the idea of different art styles...

Which becomes rather laughable once Dobson describes his style as a mixture of European, American and  Japanese. Why? Because he is the one oversimplifying things, rather than the anime fan.

You see while anime and manga of all sorts do share certain aesthetics (like the black and white art style, emphasize on the eyes of characters, the way hair is drawn, recurring tropes within certain genres and so on) style wise (both in art and storytelling) there can be severe differences, depending on the artist alone. Akira Toriyama’s style differentiates significantly from the likes of Eichiro Oda, Rumiko Takahashi, Kentaro Miura, Tezuka, Kaori Yuki and so forth.

The same also goes for many western artists. Herge had a significantly different style from Uderzo and Goscinny. Don Rosa has a different style in which he drew Scrooge McDuck than Carl Barks did. Rob Liefeld and Jim Lee draw mainstream superheroes differently compared to how Jack Kirby, George Perez and others did. Heck, Ethan Van Sciver and Jim Lee were closely associated with Green Lantern in the 2000s and look how they differentiate.

 Which btw is the kind of skill level Dobson would have needed to have, to make it in the mainstream industry

So when Dobson says “I draw in a combination of American, Western and Japanese” all I can think is the following: THAT DOESN’T NARROW IT DOWN! WHAT THE HECK HAVE YOU LEARNT IN COLLEGE ABOUT COMICS? WHICH ARTISTS, WORKS AND STORYTELLERS DO YOU TRY TO EITHER EMULATE OR HAVE BEEN INSPIRED BY?

Then there is this little thing…

Where do I even begin? How about the fact that Dobson’s hand in the last panel looks like he has lost a thumb? The fact that the little boy, anime fan or not, is aware of Sae Sawanoguchi, a character from a short lived OVA and anime series from the 90s, which considering his age, I kinda doubt he would be aware off. Unlike Dobson, who got into anime in the 90s and admits in fact within the posts I loaded up earlier, that he had watched the anime in particular, known in the west as Magic User Club.

Then there is the implication by Dobson, that anime is so “corruptive” as a medium, little kids don’t even know the most basic characters in western animation because of it. I expect in a next panel, that all of sudden some 50s PSA guy comes along and lectures me that if I want this kind of thing not to happen at MY convention, I need to teach little kids more about the GOOD western animation, instead of the BAD eastern one. Then there is this rather unflattering portrayal of a shonen ai/shojou ai fangirl…

 Which makes me laugh cause honestly, even some of the worst shonen ai and shojou ai can do better in portraying a “realistic” gay relationship than Patty if you ask me.

Also, as much as I think fangirls can be extremely thirsty (I have read my fair share of extremely stupid yaoi and yuri fanfics) I think that in hindsight Dobson is really not anyone to complain about shipping obsession and sex when he himself has KorraSami, the Ladybug fandom and a certain rat pirate under his floppy belt.

As you can imagine, Dobson would get heat for those comics, considering how he himself has been greatly inspired by anime and manga for his major comics. And while I don’t have any explicit deviantart posts of him reacting to criticism in that regard, I do have this comic which addresses it directly.

 And yeah, if I were schoolgirl number 4, I would just sigh and walk away after telling Dobson that his mistakes and shortcomings are not related to having consumed anime, but rather by what sort of anime (and other stories) he had consumed and the amount of effort he had put in creating his stories instead of emulating just something more popular. Plus, if you really want people to draw more from life, how about drawing more from life yourself down the line? And no, tracing Star Wars movie frames does not count.

Finally, Dobson, considering how very little most people think of your work, I say mission accomplished: People have learnt from your mistakes and know not to be a Dobson.

And at last, there is this comic, which kinda wraps up Dobson’s “vendetta” with anime and manga fans within the pages of SYAC.

By trying to mock anime fans and make them look just as shallow as he is. I at least suppose. Honestly, the message of this comic is rather muddled. On one hand, I would say the strawman accusing Dobson hates anime just because it is popular is very simplified. After all, Dobson has made his reasons for not liking anime clear in a few more details. It’s just that the details in and on themselves in real life are still rather shallow and boil down to a lot of personal bias rather than an objective criticism of actual flaws. Which I think is worth pointing out.

But frankly, what is Dobson trying to say or point out here? That the strawman is not so different or even dumber than him, because he hates Justin Bieber for “shallow” and superficial reasons too?

Okay, this doesn’t quite work as well as Dobson wants. First, the argument Dobson’s strawman makes is in huge parts based on some verified statements Dobson made for not liking anime. Second, he just says a name and that triggers the guy to express his hatred for Bieber. We don’t know why the guy hates Bieber and you could make in fact the case, that he hates him not because he is popular, but because he has a genuine issue with the artist, his work or his behavior as a human being. Third, if you want to make yourself look like the better person Dobson, try to argue with the guy and make solid arguments why you don’t like anime. Instead you just deflect the criticism by changing the subject and then try to make yourself look like the “smarter” person in the room by mocking your critic in the most condescending manner.

Which as I think about it, sounds like your modus operandi on twitter and tumblr.

Weirdly enough, that more or less marks the “end” of Dobson tackling anime fans and the beef he has with them within the pages of SYAC. Despite how much Dobson’s negative reputation especially in early years was build around him hating on anime and belittling its fans, he didn’t really do more afterwards in the Dobson focused pages of SYAC. And mind you, those strips were also separated by other strips in-between, focused on Dobson just being at conventions.

Unfortunately for him, the strips didn’t really help in any way to diminish that negative reputation and instead just confirmed for many, that Dobson can’t handle criticism about his flawed opinion on anime. If anything, it just made people think even less of Dobson, as the strips just painted him as someone who would rather portray his critics as strawman he can be “rightfully” annoyed at, instead of fellow humans with slightly different tastes in entertainment, who are still worth listening to.

So, now that we have the anime fan related “annoyances” out of the way, what other sort of silly problems in making webcomics would Dobson cover in his strips and are “relatable” to everyone?

Lets see some of these examples in the next part.

[patagucci34]

Unbelievable

Warnings: some swearing and mentions of sex

Word count: 3000

Alex and I have a complicated relationship…we've known each other a long time. Our parents were friends when the Nylander's lived in DC, and because of that, we spent a lot of time together. After the Nylander's moved on from DC, we would see them a few times a year. Once Alex and I got older our relationship matured as well. We never dated because of the distance but whenever we got to see each other we had lots of fun together…

  When I graduated high school, I moved to Chicago and attended Northwestern University. Alex and I kept in touch, when he played in Chicago we usually met up, and of course, over the summer we usually saw each other a few times. After graduation, I got a job and stayed in the city.  I remember being at work and getting a call from Alex, which was kind of unusual. It was over the summer, and because I stayed in Chicago, we hadn't seen each other yet. I let the call go to voicemail and not a minute later I received a text from him,

hey, call me when you can.

That kind of text made me nervous coming from him, so I decided to text him back,

I'm at work, and I’ll call you when I get a break. Is everything okay?

I put my phone back down and went back to work while I waited for a response. A few minutes later, my phone buzzed and I picked it up to look at it.

Yes, just have some really exciting news XXX.

I rolled my eyes at his use of "kisses," most likely intentionally using three x's for its sexual meaning. Now he has me curious, but I tried my best to push him out of my mind so I could get work done undistracted.

Unfortunately, I didn't end up getting a chance to call Alex during the day, but when I got out, it was the first thing I did. It rang a few times before he picked up.

"Hey, babe." He said picking up the phone.

"Hi, Alex. So what's your exciting news?" I asked impatiently.

"Ah, always so impatient…" He teased.

"Alex, seriously, it's been killing me all day."

He chuckled before finally telling me the news, "I got traded to the Blackhawks."

"Oh, shit! That's awesome!!" I said excitedly. Although, I'm not exactly sure why he's so excited to tell me. Alex's reputation with women is no secret, and I'm sure he'll continue when he moves to a new city.

"I'm moving there at the beginning of August, but I'm coming in a few days to see the city. I'd love to see you."

"Yeah, of course, work has been busy this week, but just let me know when you have some free time."

"I will. See you soon, babe."

"Bye, Alex." I said and hung up. I sighed as I put my phone in my pocket and continued my walk home.

 ~~~~~

  August approached very quickly. Seeing Alex when he came to visit was nice, but I started wondering what it would mean for our relationship. Would we hang more? Would we hang out less? Would it be hard to see him with other girls? Don't get me wrong, I knew what our arrangement consisted of, I definitely hung out with other guys too, we just have never been in close proximity since we were kids. To make matters worse, or better I guess, he was living with a teammate whose apartment was a five minute walk from mine.

Alex reached out the day he got here. I went over and helped him unpack some stuff and then we went and got dinner. He came over a little bit after, but figured he should probably stay with his teammate his first night here.

  We didn't see each other much during training camp because he was so busy, but once or twice a week he would make time to come over. As the season officially started, he was coming over a few times a week, but not usually the weekends because I only assumed he was taking girls home he met out the clubs. That was the thing about us, I was never invited out, never invited to team stuff, which was fine, we aren't dating, but we are friends. We go to dinner sometimes but usually we just order in and have sex.

  This arrangement went on for a few months before some things started to change. When Alex had first gotten here we had talked about what our relationship was. He had decided we were just "having fun." I was fine with that, I liked having my options open and would be lying if I said I was ready for a relationship.

However, one night, in mid-November, Alex had texted me asking if he could come over. His phrasing was different from his usual 'hang tonight?', so I was a little worried about what he wanted. When he got to my place, he was acting a little awkward. It took a while for him to finally spit out what he wanted. We were eating at the time and I almost did a spit take in response to his question.

"So, um, I need a favor." He asked softly.

"What kind of favor?"

"I need a date to a team event."

This was where I did my spit take. "I'm sorry, what?"

He looked taken aback at my response. He was at a loss for words so I kept going. "For months, you keep me away from all of that stuff, and now you want me to go because you can't find another date?"

"Oh come on, Y/N. It's not like that…I just, please. I need a date. You have to come."

"No way, you're the one who labeled this as 'just fun'. I don't have to do anything."

"But we're friends too. Please, Y/N. I'd really appreciate it."

"Why do you need a date anyway? I'm sure people go solo."

"Yeah, but it looks better."

I rolled my eyes. "Fine, but you owe me."

He smiled big and gave me a big hug and kiss. We finished eating and moved to the living room to watch some TV.

I was lost in my thoughts, this is the kind of stuff that I really wanted to avoid. Even though I'm okay with how our relationship is now, I'm worried about treading into those waters because I feel like I already have underlying feelings that I have been able to push deep down and I'm worried they will start to come up. I was interrupted from my thoughts by Alex waving a hand in front of my face.

"Hey, spacey, you there?"

"Yeah, sorry," I said coming back to reality.

"I think I'm gonna head out, thanks for dinner."

"Alright, I'll see you later."

I'm glad he left, I really wasn't in the mood to do anything, especially with him.

   ~~~~~

A few weeks went by, I went to the event with Alex and it wasn't as bad as I thought. He introduced me to everyone as an old family friend. I decided I was okay with that because hopefully it would help suppress feelings. I mostly just stayed by Alex's side that night, making conversation with some of the WAGs when the opportunity arose. A few of them pressed about the status of our "friendship." But luckily I was able to convince them we truly were just friends, which is what we are.

One Saturday night, I went out with a few friends from work. Unfortunately, they picked a club that the Blackhawks frequent. I was hoping since they lost their game that night, they wouldn't go out, but I knew that was wishful thinking. I was 4 vodka sodas deep, trying forget the stressful week at work. I had met a guy at the bar that had been occupying my time on the dance floor. We had been making out on and off and when he let go of my lips for a brief second I looked over and saw Alex staring us down. He looked angry, and that made me mad. I knew the look in his eyes, he was going to come over and interrupt us. Just a few minutes later, we were making out again, and I felt a hand grab my arm and pull me away. Sure enough, it was Alex.

"What the hell, man?" The guy said to Alex.

Alex ignored him and continued pulling me away. He walked us to a quieter corner by the bathrooms.

"What the hell, Alex. What are you doing?"

"You don't need to be dancing with him like that." He said with a dark look in his eyes.

"Oh really, and why not?"

"You don't know him, and he was looking at you funny."

"So what if I don't know him? You go home with random girls all the time." I said before walking away, however, I was stopped once again, by Alex grabbing my arm and pulling me back to him.

"That's different, I just don't want you dancing with him."

"I can do whatever I want, Alex. We're not dating." I said trying to shrug my arm out of his grip, but it only tightened. "Let me go."

"No."

"Alex."

"Y/N."

"What do you want from me?"

"I want you to not dance with that guy."

"Not gonna happen."

"Then I'm not gonna let go of your arm."

"You're being ridiculous."

Before he had time to retort, his teammate Kirby had come over.

"What's going on over here?"

We both looked over at him and I was able to get the first word in. "Nothing, I'm going home." I said finally being able to release myself from his grip. I stalked off to find my friends and tell them I was going home. I walked out front to wait outside for my Uber and I could feel the presence of the annoying blonde I had just escaped near me. I looked over to see him escorting a girl out the door and get into an Uber.

"Unbelievable," I muttered under my breath as I got into my Uber and went back to my apartment.

  It had been a few days since our encounter in the club and I hadn't heard from him. I wasn't really surprised but I guess part of me was hoping he would reach out and apologize. That part of me never got the satisfaction because it took four weeks to finally hear from him.

A guy from work, Wyatt, asked me on a date, it went well. Although we were trying to take things slow, we were texting quite a bit and hanging out a lot, and I was starting too really like him. I was realizing that Alex had been holding me back in that department. When he was around, I wasn't allowing myself to explore relationships.

  I'm not sure how Alex caught wind of my new friend, but I was sure to find out when he came banging on my door. It startled me, but when I looked through the peephole to see an upset Alex standing outside my door, I got angry.

I opened the door and he pushed right through me and started pacing around the apartment.

"What is your issue?" I asked.

"My issue? How come I have to find out you have a boyfriend through your friends?"

"Excuse me, what? 1. Why were you talking to my friends? 2. I don’t have a boyfriend, and 3. Why does it matter to you if I did? You haven't spoken to me in 4 weeks."

He didn't respond to me, instead got redder in the face when my phone dinged and he saw it was from Wyatt. My eyes widened when Alex grabbed my phone and started to unlock it. I went to grab it out of his hands but he stepped back and put it up higher in the air.

"Alex, give me phone back!"

He started down the hallway and I quickly followed, trying to grab for my phone. He picked up the pace and darted into my room. I tried to push on the door but he was too strong for me. The door latched and I heard the lock.

I started banging on the door, "Alex, stop! Open the door." I heard nothing so I kept banging. "Please, Alex. I really like him, don't mess this up for me."

A few seconds later, the door swung open and he handed my phone back with a triumphant look on his face.

My face fell when I saw the text that Alex has just sent to Wyatt. Hey, I'm so sorry but I can't keep talking to you, it’s just not the right time for me to start a relationship.

I looked up at Alex and couldn't stop a tear from falling.

"Why would you do that? You had no right to do that." I said with the tears starting to roll.

He looked guilty and at a loss for words.

"I'm sorry, I didn't know it would make you this upset."

"Get out," I said pointing at the door.

"Y/N, come on. I didn't think tha--"

"Stop. You don't get to barge in here, not after ignoring me for four weeks because of what you did at the club. You don't get to decide who I talk to, or hang out with. You made that very clear when you said we were just having fun, and you only reach out when you want to have sex."

He looked at me with sad eyes, wheels turning in his head as he's trying to figure out what to say. He opened and closed him mouth a few times before speaking up, "I'm sorry, y/n/n, I, I just, I guess, I don't know what to say."

"And yet you're still here." I looked between him and the door and after what seemed like hours, he nodded and walked towards the door. He turned the handle and paused looking back at me. I looked away and he walked out the door. The tears streamed down my face as I watched the door close. I went to my bedroom and cried myself to sleep.

Alex tried reaching out a few times in the week after that but I didn't respond to him. I had smoothed things over with Wyatt at work but figured maybe it wasn't a good time to explore a new relationship with all of this Alex garbage going on.

About two weeks after our fight, I heard a knock on the door. I looked through the peephole and saw Alex with take out in hand. I contemplated whether or not I was going to open the door.

"I see your shadow…" he called out. I sighed and opened the door.

"What?"

"Will you please talk to me, I brought Chinese," he said holding up the bags of food.

I stepped aside and let him walk by me. He walked to the kitchen and put the bags down and grabbed plates from the cabinet. He fixed us both a plate and brought them to the counter where we sat down and ate in silence. Once we were both finished he took our plates and put them in the sink. He came back over and sat down. We sat in silence for a little bit longer before he spoke up.

"I'm sorry, Y/N. I really am. I shouldn't have come over here and done that. Not after how I have been treating you. You're right, I had no right to do that." He paused to look at me, I looked down to my lap because I didn't know what to say, so he kept going. "I don't want you to be with other guys, it's selfish, I know. But I can't stand the thought of someone else getting to spend time with you. I never have been able to, that's why I kept you so separate. I didn't want to have to see or hear about you with other guys. I'm realizing now that that was unfair to you."

At this point, tears were rolling and I couldn't stop them. He has stopped what he was saying and wiped away some of tears. I didn't protest but I also wasn't sure what to think of all this. I think he sensed my hesitation and wrapped his arms around me in a tight hug. We stayed like that for a few minutes. "I'm not letting you go and we both know you don't want me to either."

I relaxed in his arms after he said that. He was rubbing circles in my back.

We had stayed like that for a while before I pulled away and wiped my face

"So, what does this all mean?" I asked.

"I guess we need to figure that out. I want you in my life, y/n/n. I can't imagine my life without. I truly am sorry that I have treated you so poorly. I want to make things right and I want this to work."

"What do you mean, you want this to work? You want what to work?"

"Us, I want you to be mine and I will be yours. I'm realizing it's what I have wanted for a long time, I'm just sorry it's taken me being a dick to realize…"

I looked into his eyes and could tell he meant everything that he was saying.

"So, what do you say? Can we do this?" he asked with a hopeful look in his eyes.

I smiled, "yeah, let's do this."

He smiled and wrapped me in a hug. We went to bed and just cuddled up with each other. I could hear his soft snores as drifted off to sleep, I smiled knowing I'd wake up and he'd be there, and we were finally happy together.

[bluepenguinstories]

Happiness Overload Chapter Forty-Six

I approached the door with hesitation. After all, it was the first time I've delivered a pizza before. But I thought it would be neat to try something new so when I spotted the pizza delivery guy park the car by the curb, I approached and asked if I could try delivering a pizza. So, that's that. Up some stairs above a convenience store (neat complex), right outside the apartment door.

Gee, I sure hope whoever ordered this pizza turns out to be nice. I've heard stories about how tough customer service could be.

Sure, those were my thoughts, but I already had a good idea who I would see.

Once the door opened, I stood face to face with someone I didn't expect to ever see again, even as I hoped I would.

“Blanc? Is that you? Didn't you die?”

“I thought you died!” Then I stopped and thought about it. “Oh! Right! Alternate universe!”

“Wait. What?”

“Yeah, I forgot. The Blanc of this world did die. But I'm not the Blanc you know! In fact,” I shuffled my feet. “I'm like a whole other person, and even then, I haven't been myself in a while!”

“No,” she shook her head and smiled. “No matter what form you take, you're still you.”

“Yeah! You're right!” I grinned.

Velvet rubbed her temples and looked frustrated. Poor thing. Time-travel and universe travel and all that jazz, it'd be enough to confuse anyone.

“Can you hold on just a sec?” She swiped the pizza box and went inside, closing the door behind her. While I waited, I decided to whistle a tune. Something about not worrying about a thing.

As I closed my eyes, I recalled all the things I saw on my travels.

Euphy, you've sure been hard at work.

Was I hallucinating? Did the steam from the shower get to my head?

Maybe it was a grief thing, and when I would come back outside, I would see some random stranger. It wasn't like I wanted them to be a stranger, I just didn't see how the alternative was possible.

“Here's your smelly pizza,” I set the box on the arm of the couch.

“What took so long?” Her voice sounded so zombie-like. “Trying to cheat them out of a tip or something?”

I shook my head. “No. I'll tell you in just a sec. I'm going to confirm something real quick.”

Butch looked up from her game. I could tell she was confused, too.

My eyes lit up when she emerged back out and closed the door behind her.

“So, you work pizza delivery?”

“Nah! I was just going on a walk and asked the delivery guy if I could give it a go!”

“I see.”

“Anyway, there's still so much I want to see while I still can, so, see ya!” I took a step toward the stairs, but then I looked back. “But it was really nice to see an old friend! It really made me happy!”

“Hey! Wait just a second!”

“Hm?” Didn't even make it one step down. Oh well. What was I planning on seeing, anyway? Wasn't like I made any sorta list.

“Is it really you? I mean, I know it can't be because I saw you die back in Area 51, but I'd like to believe it's you. I'm not used to someone I don't see for a while still being alive.”

“WHOA!” I couldn't contain my excitement. “This world's me went to Area 51? That's so cool! Aw, but I guess they're dead now, so I can't meet them.”

Velvet tilted her head. Oh golly-gee gosh! There's just no helping it, is there? Those kinds of things would always be just way too confusing for their own good.

I shook my head in response. “I'm sorry, Velvet. We were friends in my universe, too, but then you died. I ended up going through a bunch of crazy stuff, meeting some new people, and nearly dying a couple times in the process just to come back here in hopes that it would fix things.” My voice started to crack up. Guess even someone like me couldn't stay happy about everything. “Suffice to say, I'm not the one that you're familiar with. I've gone through so many changes, that I'm not even the same person I was a year ago.”

“H-How?”

I shrugged. “Time travel. I don't recommend it, by the way. It jumbles everything up.”

“So I'm just supposed to believe all this?”

Again, shrug time. “I mean, you could if you want. I wouldn't blame you if you didn't.”

One step down the stair. However, I didn't break eye contact, and it looked like she was shaking. Even her face.

Oh my. This is what people call blubbering, isn't it?

“I told you, didn't I?” No. That wasn't the correct response, either? “I'm sorry, but I haven't been myself for a while now.”

Before I had a chance to figure something else to say to cheer her up, I was pushed back in an instant and had to act fast and hold on to the railing. Her arms were wrapped around me, squeezing tight, herself pressed against me in a hug.

“Even still...you're you,” her voice broke. It sounded like a whimper.

“Careful, sheesh. You almost knocked  me over. Then I would have fallen off these stairs and been dead for sure.”

“I missed you!”

“Oh, bother,” I tried to look away, or at least turn my head as best I could. “Do you have to squeeze so tight? Seriously, I forgot how strong you were.”

“Shut up.”

“Fine.” I leaned my head in and sighed. “This also makes me happy.”

We stayed like this for about a minute (was it a minute? I don't know. I didn't count. I could have, but I didn't think to. Now I regret not counting the seconds) before she broke away and wiped her face.

“What's with the pink streaks in your hair, by the way?”

“Oh!” I lit up again. What a fun subject that was! “Well, I was thinking of getting streaks in my hair and I couldn't decide between blonde or silver, so I went with pink.”

“I don't really see the connection.”

“You know Kirby?”

“Yeah, that funky lil dude.”

“Yeah! He's a real fat fuck! I got the idea from Kirby!”

“So...” she tilted her head in the direction of the door. “Y'wanna come in or should I say goodbye?”

“Sure! I didn't have anything planned, anyway!”

That Velvet, such an awesome lass! I'd be able to check out her new place! She could bring me back up to speed on everything in the world of Velvet.

She opened the door and announced. “Hey Butch! You'll never believe this! An old friend stopped by! And  they're alive!”

I poked my head in and saw someone on the couch look up, a displeased expression on their face. Short blue hair, small face...small all around, actually. Oh! I knew what those were called! They were pixies. Wait. No. That's not right. That was a human, and a girl. Oh! One of those raver chicks, probably! Or...

“Life sure is strange, hehe,” I commented.

“Yeah, you could say that again, Blanc.”

She, I think Velvet called her 'Birch', pointed in my direction. “Isn't that the person who you said you saw die in --”

“Yeah, it is. But they say they're from another dimension.”

Binch (look, the name would come to me sooner or later) gave a look like Velvet was crazy. Again, not like I could blame her.

“Well, Blanc? Aren't you gonna come in?” Velvet turned to ask me.

“Oh, right! That's a thing I do!” I spread one leg into the apartment and inched my way in. Then I scurried over next to the couch and sat on the floor. You could say I was curious about everything and wanted a good view.

“Ooh! Velvet! You have a girlfriend now! Congrats!”

She remained by the door. Her index finger on her cheek, making scratching motions. “Ehehe...about that...” Her gaze shifted from side to side. “I'm going to go get some snacks and something for dinner! Feel free to get to know each other.”

With that, she waved, then left.

That was when the fun would begin.

Why couldn't I just have a normal day?

Yeah, I already knew I didn't live in a normal world, but come on! Why did Velvet have to pick up some random person and bring them in here? Was this all a part of her “plan” or was she just trying to get to me?

I knew I wouldn't figure it out just by complaining, so I studied the creature that was looking up at me, all googly eyed.

“So I heard your name was Bunch!” They said.

“It's Butch.”

“Bush?”

“Fuck you. I said Butch!”

“Ah, I see, I see.”

They got up and I scanned their movements. Eventually, it seemed like I lost them, but then they came back into view, carrying a stool.

“Since when do we have a stool?”

“Beats me! I just found it here!”

“Grr...this place is a mess, anyway.”

They...Blanc. I could get a name right. It wasn't that hard. Blanc set down the stool in front of the couch, then swayed to and fro, smiling and tapping their legs.

“What is your deal?” I continued to study the creature.

“I just think it's fun to meet new people!”

I squinted my eyes. I could tell something was off. I just couldn't tell what.

“VELVET! GET BACK HERE! DON'T LEAVE ME WITH THIS THING!”

“I don't think she can hear you,” they pointed out.

“This must be one of her practical jokes, I'm sure of it.”

“You would not believe your eyes, if ten million butterflies,” they sang.

“What is your deal? And it's 'Fireflies'.”

“Yeah, but where I come from, it's 'Butterflies'.”

“Look here!” I pointed. “You may fool Velvet, but you don't fool me.”

“I'm not actually trying to fool anyone. I'm sure you're plenty smart.”

I growled. This...I couldn't say kid. They were clearly in their 20s, at least. They were really getting to be a nuisance fast.

“You can't just waltz in and claim to be Velvet's dead friend from another universe and expect a warm welcome. I'm betting you're not who you say you are. Something's fishy.”

The pointed to the pizza box. “I think it's your pizza. Anchovy?”

I opened the box and took a bite of one of the slices. Then, food in my mouth, I continued my interrogation.

“Let's say I believe you. How did you get here, then?”

“Ah! Coincidence! But also, a bit of time travel.”

“Time travel, eh? I'm not saying that's absurd, because I know the technology is out there, but the only ones with access to such technology is The Flashbulb.”

“Ah! So you know about them, too! Yeah, I took one of their thingies. Long story, really.”

My game's battery was going to drain the longer I ignored it, but I just had to get to the bottom of this. Before I could raise my next question, Blanc opened their mouth once more.

“I know how it must seem, but it's also crazy to me, since the Velvet in my universe died. Still, we were friends there, too!”

“Yeah, well My Velvet said you died. She was pretty upset about it, too.”

“Your Velvet?” They leaned forward and gasped, one hand on their chest and eyes all wide. “I knew it! You two are a couple!”

“Wrong.”

“Aw, well I think you'd two made a great couple.”

“Wasn't asking.”

“Hey!” They pointed at my Switch. “Is that the new Animal Crossing game?”

“Yeah,” I grunted. “Animal Crossing: Home Sweet Home. 'New Horizons' got old after a couple years.”

“I used to be into those game videos!” They beamed. “At least until I got here and decided to go traveling!”

“Okay. Also, nobody calls them 'game videos'. What are you, some kinda boomer? Some hippie?”

“No, but I hung out with some stoner aliens for a while!”

“Ah, the Beige.”

“You're aware of them?”

I shrugged. “Aware.”

“Anyway, I think it's fun sightseeing! It makes me happy!”

I grit my teeth. “Don't...don't use that word.”

“Aw, why not?”

“Don't you know what's been going on?!” I spat. “You can't just throw that around so casually!”

“Oh, right! End of the world! It's rather fun!”

“Fun? People are dying.”

“Oh. Was that not the right word? It's fun...ny? Yeah! It's rather funny what's all going on!”

“No! No it's not!”

Did Velvet just invite someone who's infected or something? Infected...was that the right word? Oh, fuck it. Why did I care what the right word was? What mattered was that there was someone staring at me who had no business doing so.

“How is it that Velvet just sees you and trusts you right away?”

“Beats me. Why, are you jealous?”

I crossed my arms. “Not at all. Couldn't care less.”

They smiled wide, such an uncanny smile.

“Not to worry, there's nothing romantic! I don't even like her that way! We're just good friends!”

“Like I care.”

I grabbed another slice of pizza.

“As far as I see it, any friend of Velvet is a friend of mine!”

“Just because you say you're Velvet's friend doesn't mean I consider you my friend.”

“That's okay, I'm used to that being the case at this point! I'm okay with that!”

“You shouldn't be. It's not healthy.” As if I was the paragon of healthy relationships. I decided I wasn't getting anywhere, but if this was some practical joke, I wanted no part of it.

“Let's make this easy for both of us,” I got up and went to my computer. After doing a fair bit of typing, I printed out a sheet of paper and returned to the couch. I handed Blanc a pen and the sheet of paper. “I made you a Questionnaire. If you pass, I will allow you to talk to me.”

“Okay! But I must warn you, I've never been a very good test-taker!”

“No talking.”

They started scribbling in answers and responses. At least it seemed I could have a few minutes of silence. I went back to my game, but as soon as I exited out of the menu screen, they started up again.

“Um, Butch, can you help me with this question?”

“No, and don't you know there's no talking during a test?”

After a few more minutes, they handed the test back to me. What I saw was just a drawing of a sunflower across the paper.

“What the...argh! Never mind! Who cares about a stupid test, anyway?” I crumpled the paper up and threw it behind me. Wherever it landed was of no concern to me.

I got up. There was no helping it. Enough was enough.

“I need a beer. Root beer. Beer of the root variety,” I walked into the kitchen, opened the fridge, and yelled. “DID YOU HEAR ME? I'M GETTING A ROOT BEER!”

I turned to this 'Blanc' thing. “She hates it when I take her root beer.”

“I doubt she's listening in,” they replied.

“Well, I wouldn't put it past her!”

I grabbed a root beer and popped open the can. Whoever was in the room with me was probably studying me. Probably to see how I would act or react. Maybe this was a test.

“Hey,” I faced Blanc. “You want one, too?”

“Sure!”

“Okay, but you'll have to catch,” I thought saying such a thing would throw them off, but they just said “Okay!” and I threw it. They raised an arm in the air and grabbed it, as if it was nothing.

Fine. But even then, they'll open it, and it'll explode all over the place.

They didn't, though. They just tilted the can from end to end, and smiled.

I walked back to the couch, root beer in hand, and sat down. “There, now don't say I never did anything nice for you.”

“I won't! I think you're a wonderful person!”

“Heh,” whatever that meant, I felt compelled to just nod along. “You're not so bad, yourself, I guess.”

“Aww, do you mean that?”

My face contorted to one of disgust. Ugh. Was not expecting that kind of response AT ALL. What was the deal with this unwarranted niceness?

“That,” I cautioned. “Is yet to be determined.”

Blanc opened the cap, though did so super slowly. Must've been cautious, after all. Whatever. I raised the can and took a sip, one eye open, so I could keep watch of the stranger who claimed to be Velvet's lost friend.

Nothing happened. Well, something did happen. The can opened. That was it. No fizz explosion, just an open can, and then a drink.

Where's the ka-boom? There's supposed to be an Earth shattering ka-boom?

“Hey.”

“Hm?”

“Wanna have a toast?”

“To what?”

I shrugged. “Beats me. How about a toast to being confused?”

They grinned. “Sure!”

We clanged our cans together.

Yes, I knew Butch would get suspicious. That much was certain. What wasn't was the situation. My head felt foggy, my brain empty. Or rather, the opposite: my brain was so full of thoughts that I couldn't sort a single one.

Is any of this real? Is it just wishful thinking on my part? Is this really something I would wish for? Will this make things easier or complicate things further? Is this some kind of sign that things will start to move forward? Is there any way to explain this? Could I be losing it? Have I already lost it and that's proof that I'm mentally incapable of dealing with this crisis and should just give up on everything and live out my last few days while I can?

Okay. That got dark fast. Not to mention, it wasn't like any of those questions could be answered so easily. So, the easier thing to do would just be to shrug and not worry about it so much.

What was I doing? Like, really doing?

“What am I doing? I'm sitting here, alone at a park in a city that's getting more and more empty by the day, while my friends are back at home. I should be with them.”

I decided to take a walk. Yeah, how exciting. As if I hadn't been taking a walk already, and I just stopped to sit down. That park wasn't very interesting; just some grass, some benches, a play structure or two for children.

Further down from the park, however, was a lake. Yes, a lake. Not a pond, not a creek. Rather interesting, that.

Once again, I sat, this time on the ground by the lake. There was a cool breeze, which would have been more fitting for springtime, not mid-winter. Then again, the weather seemed to be whatever it liked to be these days.

“Hm...what kind of thing makes a lake happy?”

Heh. What's gotten into me? Asking silly questions like that. Asking so many questions in general.

It's all your fault, Mephistopheles. This whole mess is.

I threw a rock into the water, but it did not skip. Never could get them to skip, and it looked like that wasn't about to change. I picked another one up, but the thought of the thing I called Mephistopheles back in the summer cropped back up. Blanc had said that was their friend. But then there was all those strange phenomenon when 'she' was around, not to mention what I later learned from Area 51's data files, and my eyes went wide.

“I wonder if Blanc ever knew just what their friend really was.”

How could they not? Unless they were just really oblivious. But then how does one 'befriend' some kind of shapeless horror? Maybe because it doesn't present itself as a horror. The only 'horror' are the things affected by it, not the thing itself.

But then, if Blanc could put two and two together, then why did I still see them die?

Unless they didn't.

No, pretty sure I knew what I saw. But I didn't think I could deny what I saw just an hour ago, either. Hmm...didn't Blanc say something when we left the pyramids about how they read about an alternate universe version of them, but then just figured they probably died.

Ugh! My head!

I threw another rock. That time it actually skipped. Amazed, I looked around and saw a chubby looking man and a lady with pigtails walking by. For whatever reason, seeing anyone at all made me smile. I didn't know how much time there was left, but it was good to know there were still some people around.

Pizza box by the couch, the pizza gone. Bye-bye in my stomach, right where it ought to be.

“I'm bored,” Blanc whined.

My arm slumped on the arm of the couch. “Hate to admit it, but same.”

What was there to do in such a messy apartment? Board games? Hell no! Off the table!

Usually, I'd just work on things at my desk, but it was a little hard to get work done or want to work when there was someone near me.

“I wanna draw! Or color! Or dance!” They exclaimed, continuing to sway on the stool.

“How old are you?”

“Ooh! That's fun, too! We can ask each other questions!” They started counting on their fingers. Their head shook a few times, then nodded, and kept counting. “I'm twenty-four! Or four!”

“Huh?” I sat up. Any sane human would ask 'how does that work?' but I knew better. “Are you like me?”

“Hmm?” They beamed. “I could be!”

“So you were twenty when you first went through, and it's been four years. You must have been one of the first.”

“Math is hard and makes me frowny! I don't do it!”

I ignored that. “I've only been alive for a few months. I think seven, so over half a year. Bad luck on my part, huh? Seeing as about half a year ago was when this thing started spreading.”

“It was going to be like this sooner or later,” they shrugged. “Honestly, it started over four years ago.”

“What? What do you mean?”

They shrugged. “That's when the elevator was unveiled in my hometown.”

“Ah! You were one of the first. Yes, back then, they were still testing and it was still new, so the methods were rather primitive. It was believed that the previous body should be disposed of when the copy was created, so they were cut up and thrown down a garbage chute.”

They nodded, already aware. “Yes, I remember that quite well.”

“Wait. How are you aware of all this? Most people don't know that they're copies of themselves.”

“I learned some things!”

“Mm-hmm,” I scowled. “Guess in vague terms, same with me.”

“That's funny! How was it for you?”

“Well, I worked at Area 51, and they had these weekly 'check-ups' where they did...something. I'm not sure what. I must have been a new person with the same identity countless times, all without realizing it.”

“But now you do!”

“Yeeaaah...” My voice trailed. “Wonder if it would have been better not knowing.”

“I think if you didn't want to know, you wouldn't know!”

That wasn't how things worked, but I didn't think I could argue. “Does Velvet know you're a...you?”

Blanc nodded with vigor.

“Bleh. She probably thinks we're some kinda freaks, huh? Not being our original selves, being this...creation. Great, just great. If there's one thing I hate, it's being pitied.”

“I'm sure she thinks of you as human!”

“Oh?” I sneered. “How can you be so sure? You don't even know me.”

They shrugged. “Does she treat you like you're not a person?”

Oh. So that's it. That was also something I hated. That I couldn't disagree.

“No, she does. I guess in her own weird way.”

“If you're a person, you're a person!”

“What about you?”

“I'm not all human!”

“WHAT?!”

They pointed to their arm and poked at it.

“What are you doing?”

“This isn't a human arm!”

In shock, I watched them pull at their skin and a chunk of flesh tore off. No, not flesh. It looked flappy, like flesh, but I started to understand when I saw what was underneath: metal.

“Are you an android? I knew it! You aren't the real Blanc!”

“Bwahaha! No, silly! It's a prosthetic! I lost my arm a while ago, but I lived and got a new one!”

“Don't scare me like that. So what? You're saying you're less human because you have a prosthetic limb?”

As if it were no big deal, they shrugged once again. “I think I'm human, but I also wouldn't mind if I wasn't, too!”

“You're weird.”

“Now I see! We're pretty similar!”

“Huh? Just because of the clone thing? Then you must be similar to the majority of the world, then, buddy.”

“Heh. I probably am! But also we're similar in other ways, too!”

“Like what? What could you possibly know about me?”

Finger on their chin, they tilted their head up and made a “hmm,” and then went “aha!”

“Do you miss working there?”

Ah, I remember I once asked Velvet that question. Well, I asked her if she missed sitting at a computer, working from afar. Funny, me using 'I' to refer to a past self. Must've been a Freudian slip or something.

“Not really,” I grunted. “I wasn't really even supposed to find out. They wanted me dead, since in their eyes, I shouldn't have existed as I am. Fair enough. That place is dead to me, anyway.”

“I see. Did you feel like you belonged when you were there?”

“I guess?” I shrugged. “That's not really something I think about.”

“I used to think I didn't belong anywhere, but then I met the Beige, and I think I fit right in with them!”

Really? What about friends? That didn't seem to make sense. None at all.

“Say, have you ever been to TJ Maxx?”

What a random question. Blanc sure loved to throw curveballs, no wonder they got along so well with Velvet.

“No?”

“Oh! What about Goodwill?”

“I know of it.”

“One time I went to Goodwill and I saw a disc for a thing called 'Mavis Beacon Teaches Typing'! I thought that was funny! I mean, how did a person fit inside a disc and why would anyone need to learn to type?”

No. No way.

“H-How do you know my old name?!” I leaned forward and demanded. “I knew it! Something is wrong here!”

“Oh? Did you make that software?”

“No! But! You know about me, don't you?”

Blanc laughed. “You're overthinking this!”

“No! No way! There is no way I'm overthinking this! When Velvet comes home, I'll expose you!”

“Expose me? Oh my...”

“No time for jokes. There's something you're not telling me.”

“That's true. But doesn't that go for everyone?”

“Fine,” I huffed. “Maybe it's a coincidence.”

They giggled. “So your folks wanted you dead, huh?”

Back on the previous topic, I see.

“Yeah. What about it?”

“It was the same for me. Etna told me I was a mistake and shouldn't exist.”

Ah, so that's what they meant by being similar. Well, shit. Now I felt like the asshole.

“Does it bother you? Do you think of yourself as a mistake?”

“I don't mind being a mistake! If I am, that just means I've been blessed to see all that I have!”

“Say, do you still have any root beer left in your can?”

“Nope!”

“Wanna have a toast, anyway?”

“Sure!”

We clashed cans once again. “Here's to being mistakes.”

Silence set, and we both sighed. Now it was back to boredom, it seemed.

“Sheesh, when's Velvet coming back? How long does it take to get food, anyway?”

“I think it's cool that there's a convenience store downstairs!”

“Yeah, but most of the food's emptied or expired.”

“Is that so? Can I go down and check?”

“Go for it. I could probably use the few minutes of alone time, anyway.”

So down they went. Even as they made their way out of the apartment, they looked so giddy. It was rather unsettling to see, but it shouldn't have been. That was just the world I lived in; all the 'infected' I had seen were so manic, that I felt the need to be on guard.

No sooner did I get back in the apartment and sit at the couch next to Butch (See? Told ya I'd get the name right) that the door opened back up and Velvet entered.

“Hey guys, did ya two get along?”

“What do you think?” Butch grumbled.

Velvet didn't seem to like that answer. “Please tell me you weren't too harsh.”

“We got along just fine, sheesh.”

“Oh!” She seemed surprised by this. “Good! That's...quite good, actually.”

She walked over to the kitchen and opened the fridge. Her head tilted, then she closed the fridge door.

“That's weird. I could've sworn I had more root beer than that.”

“Blanc took it!” Butch accused me. I just smiled.

“I was thirsty!”

Velvet opened the fridge again and counted. “It looks like there's two missing.”

“I was really thirsty and Butch said to help myself, so I took two!”

She shook her head and sighed. “That's fine, though I wish you had waited 'til I got home. Oh well.”

Instead of another root beer, Velvet grabbed a can of grape soda and noticed the stool. She walked over and sat down, her eyes on Butch and I.

“What? Grape soda? Since when is that your thing?”

“Never mind that,” Velvet's gaze shifted between Butch and I. “There's something I'd like to discuss.”

“For real? We've been talking this whole time while you were gone!” Butch argued with her gruff voice.

“It's important to me.”

“Fine,” she folded her arms, still scowling. “But I'm finding a chair and sitting next to you.”

“Uh, sure? Suit yourself. Say, Blanc, are you hungry?”

“I have fruit snacks!” I replied, pulling out a large bag behind me.

“What?”

“Don't worry, I have enough to share with everyone!”

Butch walked around and found a fold out chair, which she did just what a fold chair does. To the left of Velvet was where the chair was positioned, and they both looked at me in a way which made me feel like I was on trial. Mind you, a fun trial, the one I wouldn't mind what the verdict was, but a trial, nonetheless.

“Now, you know me, I'm not one to keep secrets,” Velvet began in earnest. “So I'll just come out with it.”

“HA! Keeping secrets is ALL you're known for!” Butch cackled and slapped her knee for good measure.

“Shush, I'm trying to have a serious moment here.”

“Fine, then! Out with it!”

“Blanc,” she faced me again. “I'm calling you that because I want to believe it's really you. But I'll be honest, and no matter how many times you tell me, it's hard to believe that you're from another universe or something. So, please don't blame me if I'm a little unsure what to think of all this.”

“Unsure? Try suspicious! You could have just doomed us both, you know? This person could be infected!”

Oh boy. Well, Velvet still knew it was me, I could already tell. I wasn't really sure what all this was for, but that didn't mean I wasn't unhappy about it.

“Now, now. Do you really think I would do that? Not only bring potential harm to us, but also someone innocent? If this Blanc is anything like the one that I knew, they were only in that elevator once. So there was no build up, and probably the smallest amount of that thing in them.”

“I can understand the concern,” I raised my hand. “After all, I may be the most affected.”

Velvet's concern grew. Her face told me all I needed to know.

“What do you mean?”

“Well, I'm sure you know already, right? While it's true the more times you've been...what's the word...recycled? No, that doesn't sound right...hm...”

“How about 'reborn'?”

“Sure!” Okay, back to train of thought. “The more times you've been reborn, the more of the thing you'll have in your system in a shorter amount of time, and probably the highest chance you have of losing yourself and affecting others around you.” It sucked having to refer to Euphy as 'the thing' but I'm sure she didn't mind. What sucked even more was explaining something they already knew. Like a lecture I didn't need to give. Regardless, I continued.

“So while that's true, and I, having only done so once, you'd think 'cool! They're safe!' But really, I was one of the first, and the kind of thing us clones have in our system isn't just any old antidepressant, as you also already know, and it will still build up over time.”

“So what you're saying is...what?”

“Four years can be a long time to gestate!”

Her eyes widened and she was taken aback, her arms also tucked at her chest as if she was trying to protect herself.

“I'm sure most of the first folks who took those rides must've gone through so many times that they're already dead for good! But I on the other hand, am here, not dead! Though I must say, I've had quite a few close calls!”

“Should we be worried, then?”

“Why worry? It's not the end of the world just because the world is ending,” I shrugged.

“I think that's exactly what it is...”

“Oh yeah, huh? So it's really happening. Funny when you think about it. The world ending because people are feeling too good. Rather ironic, don't you think?”

“I guess when you put it that way, it is kinda funny,” Butch snorted. “And here I was talking about how this is no laughing matter earlier.”

“You gotta laugh a little to stay sane!” I added.

“P'fft. Like any of us three are sane.”

“Good point! Say, Velvet, your girlfriend's really smart!”

“We're not girlfriends,” Butch growled.

“Yeah, about that. Glad you brought that up, actually. See, we thought about it, but in the end, we agreed it was for the best that we weren't a couple,” Velvet explained. Butch nodded along.

“So in the end,” Velvet added. “We're just roommates. Roommates who do romantic things together and have lots and lots of sex.”

Right after Velvet said that, Butch looked down like she was trying to hide her face and clutched her jeans.

“Um, I think she's malfunctioning?” I pointed to her.

“Oh, that? She just gets flustered easily. I wouldn't worry about it!”

Butch's face seemed to grow red (from what I could see of it, and I imagined steam rising to the top of her head.

“Hehe, I see you're just as weird as ever, Velvet!”

“I'm not weird, I'm just open.”

“THAT IS WEIRD!” Butch just exploded. Well, okay, not really, but she spat out her words all at once and her face looked redder than a tomato. Like blood! “THOSE ARE PRIVATE MATTERS! YOU DON'T JUST GO BLABBING THESE KINDS OF THINGS TO PEOPLE!”

“Ow, my ears,” Velvet scratched the side of her head. “I think you got some spit on me, too!”

Butch crossed her arms. “You deserve it.”

“I'll respect your wishes, though. I'll try not to embarrass you so much.”

“It's not just me you should worry about embarrassing, but thanks.”

“...Even though it is fun to watch you get flustered.”

“Hey!”

Heh, maybe if those two kept things up, I could be off the hook and we could just have dinner or watch a movie or play some games instead. But before I could get my hopes up, Velvet turned back to me.

“Is there anything you could say that would assuage our worries?”

“Hm....” Think, Blanc. Think and be honest! “Well, I don't usually yell much.”

“That's it?”

“Think about it: all those people you see who are affected, they tend to yell, and it's like they're out of control. Y'know, be real loud, just like how Butch was just now.”

“Hey!” You-know-who didn't like that I called her out.

“Which isn't to say that won't happen, but it's more likely to happen with those who experience something so distressing that the thing inside of them reacts and tries to make them go manic in a way to counteract whatever's overwhelming the person. That's how this planet is in the state it's in, anyway. Someone must have had a really bad day, and that's a no-no when you're supposed to feel really good.”

Butch once again looked down, but it didn't strike me as the same reason as before. Rather than her face being red, she shook, and it looked like she was about to cry. I wanted to ask Velvet if there was something wrong, but I got sidetracked by what Velvet asked me, instead.

“You mean to say that one person could have been the start of all this?” Velvet gasped.

“Eh,” I shrugged. “I mean, I don't wanna say for sure, because then it would sound like 'one person can make all the difference' and that's too inspirational for my taste.”

“Oh yeah. You're Blanc alright. That's something I know Blanc would say.”

“Is it now?” That was quite interesting. “Now that you mention it, I don't mind being a little inspiring.”

“Now that's what I like to hear!” Velvet held a certain fire in her eyes, an excitement that I had been waiting to see. “Butch, can I tell them?”

“What?” She was still a little misty-eyed but I didn't notice anything unusual. “Why do you need my permission? You're an adult.”

“I want you to have a say in this conversation.”

“Fine. If you want my advice, I'd say no. For all we know, they could be a Flashbulb member. Think about it: the only way to travel to another universe is through The Flashbulb.”

“Wait, really? Is that true?” Velvet faced me once more. “Is that true?”

I shrugged. “Probably. I mean, I did steal one of their time travel devices and I probably wouldn't have been able to do half the things I did had I not.”

“Wait. Really? You did that?”

“Yeah! How do you think I lost my arm?”

I could tell Velvet was even more confused, even though Butch knew what was up.

“I'll tell you later,” Butch whispered to her. Lucky for me, my hearing was pretty decent, so eavesdropping was a cinch.

“So if you did that, does that mean you were at their headquarters?” Velvet pressed on.

“What? Like it's hard?” Oh shit. That could have given them the wrong impression. Time to dial it back. “Well, maybe it's a little hard, seeing as I lost it when I came here.”

“Damn! Right when I thought we might be onto something!”

“May I ask why you're interested?” I asked while shoveling a handful of fruit gushers in my mouth.

“We want to save the world,” Velvet declared. “It was The Flashbulb's meddling with things that brought us here, and if I can make it to their headquarters, I'm sure there's a way to fix this!”

“Ooh!” I leaned in. “I'll be cheering you on, then!”

“Thank you.”

“That's quite a bold goal, though. Are you sure you're up for it?”

Velvet gulped.

“Yes. Yes I am. I think if you asked the old me, she would have said no. That she'd find a way to escape Earth, instead, and leave everyone behind. Later, she would regret it, being alone, and not doing anything, and she would have gone mad until she too died.”

“Interesting...and you're different now?”

“I would like to think so. I think it was the bond you and Conrad had that made me realize that.”

“What? Really? But I don't really have much of an opinion of him.”

“Well, the one that I knew. Even though he would have denied it, seeing as he saw you differently than the one that he knew before, he still thought of the Blanc I got to know as important, and I don't regret saving them and taking them with us when we escaped to Egypt on my ship.”

“You know, that was me, too. The timelines only diverged three years after being with the Beige.”

“Oh. Right.”

Still, I never thought Conrad was the type to think of me as 'important'. What did that even mean?

“Then, as I got to know you, or, the you that I knew, I grew to find them important to me as well. I didn't think I would have, though, and I think that's where I went wrong.”

“What do you mean?”

“When I left them behind so I could go to Area 51, I thought they would be safe on their own, but for some reason or another, I later saw them in the facility, lying down and lifeless. It devastated me and I never thought I would come across them there, especially like that, but I did.”

“They were probably worried about you,” I suggested.

“I wish I had told them that I would be fine!” She sounded choked up. Oh no, that wasn't good. “Even if it wasn't true, I wish I had done something so they wouldn't have felt the need to risk their life! I don't even know if there was something I could have done, but I never wanted them to die for me!”

That hit me worse than I wanted it to. While I knew I wouldn't burst like so many people, I still worried what kind of emotions she might stir in me.

“It couldn't have been that bad. I mean, they probably figured your life was more important than theirs. So it all worked out, right?”

“N-No! Because their life wasn't any less important than mine was! I lost a friend and I can't help thinking that I didn't have to.”

Friend?

I burst into laughter. “But that Blanc was boring! What could've been so special about 'em? They were so ordinary!”

She shook her head, for some reason, smiling, as well. When she opened her eyes, however, she looked no less serious.

“Doesn't matter. They were important to me. Just as you are.”

“Me?” I pointed to myself.

“Yes, you too. You consider me your friend, don't you?”

“Yeah...” I sighed. “I mean, that's why I was so excited to see you earlier. But that doesn't mean you consider me your friend, does it?”

“Of course I think of you as a friend,” she tilted her head all concerned. “Did you ever doubt that?”

“Maybe!” I put on a good grin. “Hard to say! But it feels good to hear it now!”

“Sorry if that wasn't clear before.”

“That's okay! You told me now!”

“Yes, but do you believe it?”

I gulped. “I think I will! I believe you mean it!”

She sighed. I thought of sighing as well. It was a lot, a lot more than I was expecting to deal with.

“Well, regardless, I think I realized that it's probably that way with a lot of people. I mean, someone's got someone that's important to them, and in that respect, it really grinds my gears what's going on. All these lives lost, and I get it, people die, but all of this could have been avoided. We've already lost so many people, but I want to believe that the world can be saved, no, restored even! Even if not, I want to at least try!”

“What is this, The Help?” Butch scoffed. “'You is important'? Really?”

“Okay, first off, that's rude,” Velvet shot back. “Second, you're important to me, too. You and Blanc both are.”

Butch crossed her arms. “Like I care whether or not you care.”

“Hey, just for that, no sex tonight!”

“What?!” She spat. “You can't do that!”

“Threatening to withhold affection...isn't that considered abuse?” I wondered.

“Yeah! What Blanc said! Besides, I'm always the one taking the initiative!”

Velvet brushed it off. “P'ssh. It's fine. I was only joking.”

I really didn't understand what the deal was about that, but if it mattered to them, I suppose it was worth a quarrel. Gosh, relationships sure are weird. Did people really make a fuss about such things?

Three more days. After that night, there would be three days left to figure things out. Oh, sure, the world may have still been around after, but that was the self-imposed deadline. Really, I would have said four more days, but Butch did say “make it four” when I said I'd figure something out in five days. So that's how it would be.

Since the day before at the restaurant didn't go as planned, I decided I would make it up to Butch by making spaghetti and meatballs. Blanc wanted french toast and gummy worms, instead, which I was not about to argue about that. This was a night to celebrate, and celebrate we would.

“Say, Blanc, do you wanna stick around?” I brought up during dinner.

“Sure! I'll follow you guys 'til the world ends.”

“That's not that impressive considering that the world's literally ending,” Butch scoffed.

“So that means you'll stay the night?” I asked.

“Yeah! That sounds like fun!”

“Great! Though hope you don't mind the couch,” I turned to my roommate/not-girlfriend. “That means you and I will be in bed tonight.”

“Uh, duh? That's where people sleep.”

It was only a couple hours later, after doing some dishes, that Butch passed out. On the couch, no less. God damn, I should've seen it coming, but I still let it happen anyway.

“Looks like I'll have to pick her up again,” I sighed. Wasn't looking forward to that one bit. Just because I could carry her, didn't mean I always wanted to. She wasn't a baby. She knew where the bed was. Then again, when she fell asleep, it was kind of baby-like...

“Don't worry, Velvet,” Blanc placed a hand on their chest. “I will make the sacrifice and sleep in your guys' bed, that way you can share the couch with her.”

Somehow that didn't sound like much of a sacrifice to me, but I was too tired to really employ any sort of logic.

“Sure, I mean, she is cute...” My eyes drifted toward her. Why, I didn't know. Just a part of my body betraying me, I suppose. “Even though I said we would be taking the bed, I don't want to have to move her...”

“See?” Blanc grinned. “It all works out!”

“Fine!” I scowled. “But you gotta do something for me in return. Deal?”

“Deal!”

We stood by each other for just a sec before I finally got on with it.

“I want to confide something. It's...about her. Here, let's talk about this in the bedroom. I'm afraid of waking her.”

“Shouldn't she be included?” Blanc tilted their head.

“Usually, yes. It's just that I don't want to make her uncomfortable. Like, actually uncomfortable.”

“Ah, how noble of you. The great and chivalrous Velvet! I love it!”

“Hey! Cut that out! I'm like none of those things!”

“Not even 'Velvet'?”

“Okay, I'm one of those things!”

I cupped my hands over my mouth. Next to me was the couch, and on that couch was you-know-who, who moved a little in her sleep.

“Crap...” I whispered. I waited to see if she would wake up, but she didn't. After I was convinced she was still asleep, I turned back to Blanc. “Okay, come on. You made a deal.”

We walked over to the bedroom, Blanc closing the door behind them. I sat at the edge of the bed.

“Are you ready?” I asked.

“Sure, I'll listen. But I can't promise I'll be paying attention.”

“Then what's the...oh, never mind!” I gave a slight laugh, though it wasn't my usual rolling on the floor laughter. Seemed false, hollow.

“Here's the deal,” I began. “About the whole girlfriend thing between Butch and I. I'm pretty sure we both want to, or would like to, or at least I would. Trust me, I'd love nothing more to have a girlfriend, and she does mean a lot to me.”

“So what is it, then? Is it just 'cause her denial over liking you? If that's the case, seems silly to me. The writing on the wall is so obvious I don't know how you could miss it!”

I shook my head. “No, that's not it. I wasn't lying when we agreed it was for the best that we didn't.”

“Don't worry! I didn't think you were!”

“It's just...there's something about her that makes it a little hard.”

“Aw, but nobody's perfect. Everyone's got their flaws.”

“Except me!” I declared in a bout of unseriousness. “My fatal flaw is that I'm flawless. If I was a character in a story, I'd be boring because of how perfect I am!”

“Honest as ever, I see.”

I huffed. “Can't get nothin' past you, can I?”

“You are plenty great, though, so I don't blame you for trying.”

“Thanks, but flattery won't get you more candy.”

“Was worth a try.”

“Anyway, no. Her thing isn't a matter of flaws. I can deal with flaws. I can even deal with her, most of the time.”

“Then what is it?”

“You already know, don't you?”

“I could take a guess, but that wouldn't be very fun!”

“She's one of those folks you mentioned. You know, has that syndrome, or virus, or whatever you want to call it that makes people act out in such manic ways that become so destructive that it kills them and turns them into a threat to everything around them.”

“But she's still around, so that's a good thing, right?”

“It should be. She's had moments, where just like you said, she gets distressed, or worked up, and then she does whatever she thinks would make her happiest, which usually involve something violent. Each time, I've managed to bring her down and back to normal, but I'm just afraid.”

“Afraid of her?”

“No. Even when she's like that, I've dealt with much scarier things. I'm just afraid that one day she'll get like that again and I won't be able to save her.”

“That's interesting!”

“What is?”

“If you're able to do that now, that must mean you make her happier than whatever other compulsion she might have at the time!”

“Heh. Maybe. I'm just worried I'm going to lose her sooner or later.”

“You said you've managed to bring her down from it before, right?”

“Yes. After the first time, she told me she was cured and over it, and I believed her, but it happened other times after. I was just glad she managed to come back to her usual self.”

“There's nothing to worry about, then!”

“Uh...Yes there is?” Unless I was missing something.

“Sounds like a guardian angel listened to you a while back ago.”

That struck me. Memories of back when I escaped the facility rushed back to me.

“What do you mean by that?”

They shrugged. “Whatever you'd like it to mean, I suppose.”

Rather than hold any suspicion, I just shrugged my shoulders and got up. “Well, thank you for listening to me tonight.” I headed toward the door and made my way out, turning out the light on my way.

“Goodnight, Blanc.”

They just sat, having taken my place at the edge of the bed, and smiled.

Every room in the apartment turned dark as all lights went out. While true that I wanted to sleep on the couch with her, I opted instead to sleep on the floor. She was already asleep. I didn't want to wake her trying to squeeze in to find some room on the couch for me.

It was hard to tell whether or not I'd get any sleep, but that didn't seem to matter much to me. My only hope was that everything would come together soon.

[eggoreviews]

My Top 15 Bosses in Games

Bosses are fun and great, most of the time. And often, they can make or break a game for me, which means my favourite games often have the most entertaining, impactful boss battles with high emotional stakes or just pure spectacle. Because I couldn’t pick just 10, here’s my top 15 bosses that really left a mark on me. Enjoy!

This list is probably gonna be a little weird, because it’s purely my opinion. Also, spoilers below for all the games I mention.

15. Donkey Kong (Super Mario Odyssey)

Admittedly, this is stretching the definition of the term ‘boss’, but if DK from back in the 80s can be counted as a boss, then so can this. For me, this was the best moment in all of Odyssey, which in itself seemed to be a love letter to the legacy of both 2D and 3D Mario. This retro throwback, complete with the classic 2D run-and-jump platforming from the original Donkey Kong, is amazing with the huge Metro Kingdom festival in the background and the soaring Jump Up, Superstar accompanying it. This seamless marrying of old and new proved to be my favourite part of this game, and made Odyssey one of my favourite platformers in general.

14. Void Termina (Kirby Star Allies)

I know this is a really unpopular opinion, but I personally loved Kirby Star Allies for a lot of reasons. I loved the graphics, the characters, the smooth, simple and fun gameplay, how polished and unique each section of the game was, not least the huge space section at the game’s conclusion and of course the free updates adding a wealth of new content and characters. And at the very end, you take on this thing, Void Termina, in a massive space arena. Above everything else, this is just dizzy, colourful fun and is a great culmination of everything the game’s been building up to since the first level. You spend the fight switching between firing wildly at Void Termina from your rainbow ship thing and fighting parts of the monster from the inside. As I’ve said, this made for a satisfying conclusion to an amazing platformer for me and more than earns its spot on my list.

13. Mirelurk Queen (Fallout 4)

I remember the pure shock I felt for a hot second the moment the Mirelurk Queen decided to rear its head for the first time. For the record, I’m talking specifically about the Queen that shows up when taking the Castle for the Minutemen. Seeing this hulking thing looming even above the castle walls is something that genuinely intimidated me, especially as early into my playthrough as I was, and it took a lot of my supplies (and a lot of attempts) to finally pump enough bullets into it to kill it. The frantic panic of sprinting around the ruins of the Castle trying to avoid the giant Mirelurk’s blasts of acid and keeping enough distance to stay safe balanced a good amount of difficulty with spectacle and stayed with me long after I put the game down.

12. Griffin (The Witcher III: Wild Hunt)

I’ve made it clear on my blog before that I didn’t have a standout experience with The Witcher III as a whole, but to say it didn’t have some spectacular moments is pretty much an insult. In particular, Geralt’s first throwdown with the massive griffin terrorising White Orchard was a brilliantly intense and strategic fight that greatly utilised the game’s smooth combat system and made full use of Geralt’s many abilities. I find that the game really shone most of all while in combat, maintaining a great level of intensity with balanced difficulty and a soaring soundtrack that always makes the battle experience even more memorable. Plus, look how awesome this thing looks.

11. El Luchador (Rayman Legends)

The end boss of a world in my favourite platformer of all time based entirely on the Mexican tradition of the Day of the Dead, this particular boss fight encapsulates everything I adore about this game. Fun, tight platforming, colourful and memorable design, a great soundtrack and controls that function perfectly. You spend this boss fight finding new and creative ways to bounce on this giant wrestler’s head in front of an audience of cheering skeletons as the manic soundtrack intensifies with each round of the fight. This fight, and this entire game, combines fun and creativity masterfully and I’d urge basically anyone to play it.

10. The Archdemon (Dragon Age: Origins)

Part of what makes the climactic battle with the Archdemon so memorable is how perfectly the game pulls off the intense build-up that lasts the entire plot and then still delivers an epic payoff. The Archdemon is almost straight away set up as a genuine threat that looms over everything you do in Origins and the success of your eventual showdown with the Archdemon is based entirely on your strategies and choices throughout the game. Who you manage to recruit, what races you have fighting on your side and, most importantly, which companions you take with you into the finale will all have a huge impact on your fight. And oh boy, the Archdemon is just as hulking and terrifying when you finally get to take him on. This fight is probably the most universally recognised great on my list and still stands out as one of the best RPG finales to date.

9. Marguerite (Resident Evil VII: Biohazard)

Resident Evil 7 is a truly terrifying, if fairly brief, foray into horror that Capcom haven’t quite managed since the series’ fourth entry. And I felt that the main fight with the Baker family’s deranged mother Marguerite deserves a place on this list for the raw terror it creates alone. Just when you think you’re getting used to the horrors of the Baker estate, the game ushers you into a claustrophobic greenhouse and locks the door behind you. After a jumpscare that will make you lose your shit, you’ve got to somehow dispatch this horrifying, unhinged bug woman who’s screaming obscenities and crawling on the walls and ceilings to pounce on you and spawning endless poisonous insects from the weird egg sac between her legs. As if that wasn’t awful enough, most of the time, you don’t even know where the hell she is, as she has a rather unsavory habit of crawling off into little alcoves and into walls, out of your sight, so you’re forced to frantically search around in the darkness in an attempt to spot her before she jumps on you. No other boss fight has elicited this kind of fear from me, so on that merit alone, it’s earned its spot.

8. Daud (Dishonored)

The climactic clash with the man that killed your character’s love interest, the empress, and was directly involved in framing you for her murder is just as brilliantly satisfying as you’d expect. For the first time in the game, the protector turned assassin Corvo is finally forced to take on someone who can wield the same supernatural powers he can, which makes a battle with high emotional stakes that really allows you to see the glaring similarities between Corvo and Daud. On top of this, with Daud being voiced by Michael Madsen, his provocative, yet thoughtful dialogue throughout the battle makes you think while you fight and gives you a much deeper insight into Daud’s character and helps you decide whether you’ll choose to show him mercy or not, especially during his eloquent plea for mercy at the fight’s end. As for the fight itself, it’s fast-paced and intense, while encouraging you to make full use of Corvo’s arsenal of weapons and powers to beat him back. But most impressive is the sheer difference in experience depending on whether you’ve chosen the path of merciful low chaos or murderous high chaos throughout the game, with Daud in low chaos being much more willing to offer a fair fight rather than sending his goons out after you. In a game full of changes to the world and story depending on your choices, some huge and some extremely subtle, this fight with the empress’ assassin is a truly standout moment in a brilliant game. Oh, and if you end up playing the DLCs where you take control of Daud, another emotional layer is added when you realise just how much Daud has done to save the empress’ daughter, even when on the surface he seems to be just another of Dishonored’s many despicable villains.

7. Stained Glass Demon (MediEvil: Resurrection)

Anyone who knows me knows I’m a huge MediEvil fan, specifically the oddly maligned PSP version that I personally think is amazing. For me, this charmingly gothic action platformer has a hell of a lot of high points, but the fight early on the game with the Stained Glass Demon in particular is as cool as it sounds. The game totally embraces its gothic atmosphere in this section, with the protagonist Sir Daniel Fortesque being trapped within a textbook creepy mausoleum full of undead things, and something in the giant stained glass window that seems to be very alive. Eventually fighting this thing really tests you on what you’ve learned up to this point, meaning that full use of the weapons you’ve gathered is basically essential if you want to beat this weird demon that uses glass as its main attack. By merit of how uniquely amazing this boss fight is, as well as the game it hails from, this particular demon is one of my absolute favourite boss fights.

6. David (The Last of Us)

While this isn’t a boss fight in the traditional sense, it is a gritty, tense face off with the game’s only real central villain. You play as the hardened but still terrified Ellie as you carefully navigate a restaurant while David searches for you with very murderous intent, his monologues only serving to make the experience even more chilling. With each strategic hit you manage to land, David becomes more and more enraged, searching the restaurant with more fervor with each hit you deal, eventually setting the building on fire. The tension that’s been building through the whole encounter reaches boiling point as you watch the fire slowly begin to envelop the whole room and Ellie finally catches him offguard long enough to brutally kill the deranged man with his own machete. Everybody knows how amazing this game is, and this unorthodox fight in particular stood out as a great character display and a masterclass in building tension, to only then be immediately followed by Joel and Ellie’s emotional reunion that definitely tugs at your emotions. The Last of Us has always been a must-play and this moment serves as one of many reminders that it definitely still is.

5. Xaldin (Kingdom Hearts II)

Probably the hardest boss fight on this list and also that I’ve ever had to do in general (yes that means I’ve never played Dark Souls), I initially wrote this whole fight off as total bullshit, as I figured there was no way outside of blind luck to finish this with any sort of skill. And admittedly, luck is a factor here, with Xaldin’s constant and dizzying attacks taking a hell of a long time to work out the patterns for than most other fights in the game. He’s pretty much constantly in your face, knocking off huge chunks of your health bar in one go, so it quickly becomes a mad dash for survival as you run around the castle courtyard trying desperately to find an opening. One thing I’ve always loved about Kingdom Hearts, despite how needlessly complicated most of its entire concept is, is the consistently smooth, fun combat system, that allows for many different styles of play and rewards experimentation with different abilities and magic. Nowhere does this come out more in one of the game’s many creative boss fights, most notably for me the clash with this particular member of Organization 13.

4. Morag (Dragon Quest IX: Sentinels of the Starry Skies)

This is probably my weirdest pick on the list, as in reality Morag is a fairly inconsequential boss fight in a game that most people regard as one of the worst in the Dragon Quest series. But DQ9 is one of my absolute favourite games of all time, and this boss fight in particular is tied to one of the most emotionally charged storylines I’ve experienced in an RPG. Towards the start of the game, you’re tasked with killing the Wight Knight, a supposedly evil knight that’s been terrorising a local town, specifically the town’s princess. Upon beating him, you discover that he was cursed by the witch Morag to remain with her in the ruined town of Brigadoom after falling in love with him. The princess that the knight had fallen for died in the intervening 500 years, leading his grief to cloud his judgment and he began to pursue the princess of a different town that looked almost exactly like her. In order to put his spirit to rest, the princess of the town realises who and what the knight is, and comes to Brigadoom to give him the dance he never got to have with the woman he knew 500 years ago. Okay, might be a little cliche, but this really oofed me and I thought this whole plotline was brilliantly executed, much like every other emotional moment that this game is packed with. As a whole, this boss fight, while inconsequential, is intrinsically linked to a heavily emotional subplot and is a hidden gem in an often overlooked, but amazing RPG.

3. Goro Akechi (Persona 5)

I almost gave this spot to the ever satisfying takedown of Kamoshida, but this fight just beats him out for pure emotional stakes alone. Goro Akechi is a tragic character who was horribly mistreated throughout much of his life, but at some point in his life, he made a conscious choice to become what he was. While the phantom thieves sympathise with his plight and the people that aided in him becoming the murderer that he was, they know they can’t get through to him and their only choice is to fight him off. The boss fight itself is suitably epic, with the now clearly unhinged Akechi throwing his full might at your party, but there’s still a part of you that doesn’t want to keep fighting. And that’s what makes this whole section so interesting, as your main character begins to understand that Akechi in reality is a twisted reflection of the thieves and what they could very easily become should they lose their way. And Akechi’s eventual realisation that this is the case then prompts him to make the ultimate sacrifice in the end, as his loyalties waver when he realises his father never planned to keep him around anyway. There’s a lot to unpack in this particular fight and has a lot more emotional layering to it than most other fights in the game, and it’s very rare to say that about any boss fight. Persona 5 is a spectacular experience from start to end and the effect Akechi’s final stand had was one of its most memorable moments.

2. Asriel Dreemurr (Undertale)

A once underrated indie gem that has since basically become a gaming icon in the years since, how much I absolutely love Undertale still hasn’t wavered. And in a game with a wonderfully creative combat system and therefore full of great bosses, the pacifist route’s final fight takes the crown for me. It’s the perfect culmination of everything you’ve experienced throughout Undertale, giving you a brilliant soundtrack and the opportunity to save each and everyone of the friends you’ve made along the way, followed by Asriel himself. The story of Asriel and the first human who fell into the underground is a deeply tragic one, and Asriel himself is a character stricken with grief that has distorted into anger and an obsessive desire to wield godlike power and all of this combines to make you really feel for who you’re fighting, which makes it all the more satisfying to help him come to his senses at the very end. This incredibly intense, but endlessly satisfying battle ends off with an emotional sequence of the real Asriel realising the hate in his actions and redeeming his actions by opening the barrier while he’s still himself to let monsters go free. This ending gets me everytime and there’s some wonderful themes buried in here somewhere, so the significance of this particular character and his final showdown can’t be understated.

Before I cry talking about my top pick, here’s (a lot) more I really love:

Master Hand (Super Smash Bros. series)

Lord Fredrik (Donkey Kong Country: Tropical Freeze)

Yuga (The Legend of Zelda: A Link Between Worlds)

Yellow Devil (Mega Man)

Gohma (The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time)

Delilah Copperspoon (Dishonored 2)

Xion (Kingdom Hearts 358/2 Days)

Bebuzzu (Final Fantasy Fables: Chocobo Tales)

Zinyak (Saints Row IV)

Alduin (The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim)

Bowser (Super Mario Bros. 3)

1. Calamity Ganon/Dark Beast Ganon (The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild)

It probably stands to reason that my favourite boss fight came out of my favourite game. Much like the rest of Breath of the Wild, this finale left a huge impact on me and I absolutely adored all of it. After fighting your way through the ruined Hyrule Castle (which, as a sidenote, is also awesome), you finally see the horrible monstrosity you’ve been building up to fighting for the entire game and it looks as freaky as it should. Before the fight kicks off, each champion you’ve rescued makes a cameo to help you out and then, you’ve got to fend for yourself. This spectacular boss fight does everything a boss should do; it tests you on everything you’ve learned and gathered throughout the entire game, maintains a great level of emotional stakes and, most importantly, gives you a fitting finale to arguably the best adventure game ever made. Everything is topped off with a horseback battle with a giant creature form of Ganon that covers the whole of Hyrule Field (which at that point, honestly does intimidate you) in one final push to seal Ganon away. You truly feel that this is what your grand adventure has been leading up to and the sense of genuine accomplishment you feel when Ganon falls and Link finally reunites with Zelda in real life after spending all this time regaining his treasured memories of her combines that sense of accomplishment with vast emotional depth. Everything about Breath of the Wild absolutely blew me away and this wonderful ending really could not have been better. The long awaited final battle against Ganon, after experiencing everything that happened to Link and the champions after losing so tragically to Ganon a century ago, as well as the brilliantly handled subtle romance between Link and Zelda, makes this my absolute favourite boss fight, and game ending in general, of all time.

So that’s my list! Hope you agreed with at least some of my picks, or at the very least could sort of see where I was coming from. Got any great boss fights of your own that top your list? Let me know! And big thank you for reading. Have a gr8 day.

[cleverbroadwayurl]

Skinny Love (Jeremy Heere x Reader Pt 11)

Song: Skinny Love by Birdy (Bon Iver originally wrote it, but I prefer the Birdy cover)

Need to Catch Up? PART 1 PART 2 PART 3 PART 4 PART 5 PART 6 PART 7 PART 8 PART 9 PART 10

Want More? PART 12 PART 13 PART 14 PART 15 PART 16  PART 17 PART 18  PART 19

Word Count: 8425 (I’m so sorry this got away from me)

A/N: OH MY GOD I DID IT! Part 11 here she is! Please feel free to give me feedback, good or bad (pls I needed to research and if the actions (you’ll know which ones) aren’t healthy please help me I have not had healthy actions)! My requests are still open for those of you wondering! I’m all open to do teasers/sneak peeks but it might take me a little bit because there’s literally only 1 line of part 12 written (unless you want that one line that I’m debating on changing, go ahead). This is a pretty self indulgent part, just a fair warning! I was even going to call it something else bc that would be even more self indulgent but I decided against it. It’s in the moodboard though so not completely omitted you guys Anyways! Please enjoy this fic, I think I’ll stick with bi-weekly updates for the time being! 

Trigger Warnings: hooo boy lots: mentions of an abusive relationship, mentions of an abusive boyfriend, mentions of sexual assault, implications of sexual assault, some close to nsfw stuff (at least for my little pure ass), mentions of the Halloween Party IF I MISSED ANYTHING AT ALL PLEASE LET ME KNOW

Taglist: @retrogarden @be-more-heidi-hansen @catatonic-kuragin @bluhimaweirdo @scarsonthecuffsofyourjeans 

Michael: No worries dude. Michael: Get some sleep. You deserve it.

Jeremy had hoped that you wouldn’t call again. Not that he didn’t want to see you, it’s just that with the information he had now, he just…yeah he really hoped you wouldn’t call or text unless something miraculous had happened. Like maybe you broke up with your boyfriend and you just happened to want to see Jeremy to see what he was doing for dinner that night. Maybe you two would eat dinner before going back to his empty house, only to have Rich or something bring over some wine (did you like wine? You seemed classy enough to enjoy it), and the two of you would celebrate your freedom and happiness. Maybe there’d be tipsy kisses, quickly turning into—

He shook his head of those thoughts as Luigi hit Kirby with a combination move yet again. Fuck, since when did Michael get so good at Super Smash Brothers? Usually the two were evenly matched, Jeremy’s Kirby wreaking havoc on Michael’s usual Luigi. But tonight, he couldn’t seem to focus. The computers were long gone, leaving Jeremy and Michael at a one on one battle once again. They’d only set them at level 5, as it had been a while since they’d done Throwback Night on the N64.

The match continued, Jeremy making a steady comeback as Michael’s lives depleted to only 2. Jeremy was at 1, but it wouldn’t be too hard to knock Michael off another time. He had led Michael to the edge of the map, getting ready to leap out of the way of Luigi’s charge move, which would hopefully send him over the edge. Or, he could swallow Luigi and just jump off the edge as a kamikaze. As soon as Jeremy was going to hit the button to jump up and avoid the fatal strike, his phone vibrated. He glanced over, seeing your caller ID before throwing the controller on the ground, and reaching to pick up his phone, Kirby’s last noises fading into the distance as Luigi stood victorious.

“Hello?” He gasped into the phone, hoping, praying that this time he’d managed to catch you before something horrible happened.

“Jeremy?”

“It’s me,” he nodded, before realizing that you couldn’t see him. “Do you need help?”

“Uhh, yeah, I do—fuck—I’m going out to my car right now. Are you free to meet somewhere? I’m sorry to completely ruin your night, but like I just, I really need some help right now.”

“Let’s meet at my house, do you remember where it is?” Jeremy asked, palms immediately accumulating moisture.

“Yeah, I’ve got it.” He could hear your car door slam through his phone, the doors locking mere milliseconds after closing. The engine turned over, a small string of ‘shit’s coming out of your mouth.

“Hey, you good?” Jeremy spoke urgently into the phone.

“I-I’m good Jeremy. I’m on my way now,” you exhaled, he could imagine you running your hand through your hair. “I’m so sorry to do this again, but—shit, I thought I had more time.”

“It’s totally fine, I promise. Just focus on getting here safely.”

“Do you need me to go?” Michael whispered, taking advantage of the sudden silence. Jeremy didn’t respond, eyes not even glancing at his best friend, mind running wild with your state.

“Hey, I just turned onto your street. I’ll be there in like 30 seconds.”

“I’ll go upstairs and unlock the door for you. Come in whenever you need to,” Jeremy noted, immediately getting up, Michael following suit.

He could hear you turn the car off and he unlocked the door. Stepping back, Jeremy immediately made eye contact with Michael, nodding to his best friend, as if to say ‘your lips are sealed. Nothing leaves this room’. The other boy nodded, not breaking eye contact. There was a moment of stillness before the front door handle turned, sending Jeremy’s heart from 10mph to 60 in half a second flat.

You bolted in, closing the door behind you. Your eyes locked onto Jeremy’s before you sped up and ran directly into him. He wasn’t ready for the amount of force that you rushed at him with, but as soon as your arms wrapped around him, Jeremy recovered. The phone you had in your hand was still lit up, showing the boy you hugged that you hadn’t even bothered to hang up. It didn’t take long for him to return the gesture, feeling your breath against his skin. It was hard and hot, but he could feel it slowing down at a steady rate.

“Thank you,” you mumbling into him, clinging to him as if he was your life preserver in an ocean filled with death.

It wasn’t long before you broke the hug. You looked around you, eyes fixating on Michael in nearly no time at all. Red crept into your cheeks while all color drained from your face. “I’m sorry, I didn’t see you,” you looked at the ground for a second, “I’ll just go.”

“I was actually just leaving,” Michael smiled at you, quickly picking up on your habits. “My moms want me home tonight. Something about them wanting to try ‘Family Game Night?’ Anyways, I’ll see you later.”

“Are you sure?” you asked hands beginning to tremble.

“Yeah. I’m positive. Text me later, okay Jeremy?” Michael asked breaking eye contact with you and looking over at his best friend.

Jeremy only nodded in response as Michael made his way to the front door, opening it and leaving. Heaviness remained, the lightheartedness of his best friend gone. It was as if the situation was suddenly becoming real to the two of them and Jeremy could see you begin to crumble. “I’m sorry,” you whispered, “If I knew, I wouldn’t have called you.”

“Hey,” the boy took a step closer to you, softness completely taking over his whole demeanor. “It’s alright. The most important thing right now is that you’re safe, okay?”

You nodded stiffly, eyes not even glancing in Jeremy’s direction. He took a chance and step forward, careful not to intimidate you. The lanky boy stood next to you as your eyes fixated on a singular spot on the ground. This worried him. Actually, it more than worried Jeremy, but he couldn’t think of a better word. At the very least, he knew what to do, which was comforting thought. He knew to ask for consent and to double check with you at all times. He knew that being your support system wasn’t only though soft touches and kind words, but it was also just simply through his presence. You didn’t always need someone to hold you and tell you everything was going to be okay, yeah sometimes you just needed a friend.

But those thoughts disappeared as he noticed your arms fold. Your shoulders collapsed, almost as if you were trying to build a way between you and the rest of the world. It wasn’t extremely noticeable, but Jeremy recognized the gesture almost immediately. He held his hand out, just above your shoulder as an attempt to comfort you. Just as he was about to lower that hand, something told him not to. There was something…familiar about the way you stood and the way you presented yourself in this particular moment. Maybe it was because you’d done a very similar thing not too long ago. That couldn’t be it, though. No, this was much different, and it upset Jeremy that he just couldn’t place it.

“Do you need anything?” Jeremy asked, resisting every urge to wrap you up in his arms.

You froze. There was a silence that fell over the room, and unfortunately, there was absolutely nothing calm about it. A new tension sat you two, the boy hoping he didn’t cross a boundary. You didn’t move as your voice spoke. “This is gonna sound really weird, but can I possibly take a shower?”

Jeremy was taken aback by your request. Out of all of the things he was prepped for, asking for a shower was something he wasn’t. He mentally went over in his head which bathroom he should guide you to. His dad’s might be more than embarrassing, but if his wasn’t cleaned, it would be the only option. Although his memory might be playing tricks on him, Jeremy could remember his dad saying something about doing laundry and going through the bathroom to pick up a little bit. Then again, Jeremy had been playing The Awesome Adventures of Captain Spirit when his dad started cleaning around the house, so maybe it was the game? He wasn’t sure. Which meant that somehow, Jeremy had to see if his bathroom was clean without drawing suspicion from you.

Apparently it had been a bit since Jeremy had said anything, because you began speaking again, this time your eyes darting from his to anywhere else in the room. “I don’t mean to intrude, you can totally say no, I just wanted to clean my self up I guess? Not that you didn’t do a good job the last time I was here, because believe me, you did much better than I ever could, but like I just want to rinse off, is that okay? You know what, just forget I said anything, I’m fine, thank you,” your voice was a whisper by the end of you little speech, eyes fixating on the floor once again.

The teenage boy inhaled, trying his hardest to remain calm. This was a moment to rue them all; you’d just confirmed that your boyfriend didn’t care about your basic needs. His fists clenched and then quickly relaxed. He could feel his face growing red; breathing becoming a labored task. And not only had you just confirmed something that Jeremy hoped hadn’t been happening, but you seemed to get worse since the last time he saw you. A week or so ago, you were at least making eye contact and a little bit more stable. You were more capable, sure of your choices. This was different, and Jeremy knew it.

“You can totally take a shower here, okay?” He smiled as softly as he could before almost leaving you alone to take a shower. It was now that Jeremy realized you had you had never been in his bathroom, or even remotely near it. He took a breath, unclenched his jaw, and reached his hand out. “I’ll take you there.”

His voice surprised him. Jeremy didn’t expect any kind of softness to exit him while he was choosing new ways to completely fuck up your boyfriend’s life, but he’d managed it. Now that was fantastic acting. Jeremy silently thanked Christine for all of her acting tips and tricks, noting to buy her lunch before going off to college. Because if anything, she had just saved his ass.

You took his hand hesitantly before he led you up the stairs and down the hall. Jeremy knew that he could’ve just told you where the bathroom was, but he didn’t want to leave you alone. Something told him that there would be consequences to his actions tonight, more so than the other time you’d appeared at his doorstep. For some reason, there was a tension in the air that wasn’t there before. The pressure set in as his hand clenched the door handle, knuckles immediately turning white upon contact. The anger had left, leaving only a bundle of nerves in its place.

His hand twisted the door knob, only opening it a fraction of the way he normally would’ve, and turned on the light just to be sure that it wasn’t a complete disaster. Jeremy let the nerves go as he scanned the room; his dad had definitely come in earlier that day and cleaned. He opened the door wider so that you could step in with him, your hand still securely wrapped in his.

“So you can use whatever you’d like,” Jeremy said, pulling his hand away from yours as gently as he could. He didn’t make eye contact; he couldn’t make eye contact. His stomach formed knots, the tips of his ears getting hot as he continued “Towels are under the sink when you’re done.”

He finally looked at you, noticing that you were watching him carefully. Not exactly making eye contact, but rather just staring, almost contemplating what was going to happen next. A small smile formed on your face, hand coming up and covering part of your mouth. “Thank you so much, Jeremy. It means…it means a lot.”

“It’s no problem,” he smiled back, rubbing his palms on the sides of his jeans. You two switched places somewhat awkwardly, concern pooling into Jeremy’s eyes. “I’ll be in my room across the hall if you need anything else.”

“Thank you.”

Jeremy nodded before exiting the bathroom, hearing the door lock quickly behind him. There was a small celebration: first of all, his dad was away for the night, making your timing nearly perfect, and second of all, he was glad, so fucking glad, that his dad had picked up in his bathroom. The celebration didn’t last very long. While the bathroom was clean, his room definitely wasn’t. He nearly sprinted across the hall, almost tripping over his own feet as he did so.

As soon as he got into his room, Jeremy shut his laptop and kicked things under his bed. He wasn’t sure how long this shower would take, you could be out in just a few minutes. You could catch him doing something—literally anything from doing something dumb or, even worse, frantically cleaning. He didn’t want that, anything but that. He wanted to be cool in a way that would possibly impress you, but still allow you to feel safe. Jeremy stood back for a second, admiring his fast work, before situating himself on his bed, thumb opening his phone and scrolling through whatever social media he could find.

After what felt like a while, he glanced at the time. He blinked a few times to make sure his phone was correct. Had you really been in the shower for 30 minutes? Jeremy paled. Was this normal? Did you pass out? Would Jeremy have to call someone in order to help? He physically shook his head. Long showers are normal. They had to be, right? Yeah, he was sure that you were okay. Then again, if something did happen, Jeremy wasn’t sure if he would be able to forgive himself for leaving you alone when you needed him most.

Now he was searching for something, anything, to get his mind off of you. He didn’t want to think about all of the horrible possibilities right now. The idea that you were currently standing in the shower bleeding out was not exactly a comforting thought. No, he needed to focus on something different, something that wasn’t you.

15 minutes of absolutely agonizing waiting, you knocked on his door, dressed in the same stuff you were before. He sat up almost immediately as you asked Jeremy if you could join him on his bed. He only nodded, shifting slightly to give you enough room.

Both of your legs hung over the side as you looked around at the posters that hung on Jeremy’s wall.

“Cool room,” you said, still looking around.

“Thanks,” Jeremy replied, his hand going to scratch the back of his neck. You flinched, only slightly, but the lanky teenager caught it. He gulped before speaking without any forethought “Are you okay?”

“Yeah,” you reassured, a slight waver to your voice, “I’m fine. How are you?”

You finally made eye contact with Jeremy, except his heart didn’t swell like it normally did. No, this time it broke. Your normally vibrant eyes were dull, red surrounding them as if you’d been crying in the shower. He could see the veins glowing brightly, his eyes moving downward to see the puffiness underneath. Your smile was watery, glassy tears still forming in your eyes at an alarming rate.

The way you sat was almost frightening. It was now clear that you had intentionally sat in such a way where your body would take up the least amount of surface area at one time. You were hunched over, arms crossed and almost touching your thighs. As much as Jeremy wanted to admit that the worst he’d ever seen you at was the last time you went to his house, it wasn’t. This definitely was. Maybe it was the lack of emotions; the numbness you seemed to have. He needed to find out what happened, and preferably soon. But for now, he would stick with small talk. He needed to keep conversation light.

“I’m fine,” he noted, not daring to break eye contact. “Do you need a hug?”

You hesitated, fingers picking at one another. Jeremy hoped he hadn’t crossed any boundaries with you. Out of all of the terrible things that could happen, that was at the top of his list. Your eyes tore away from him and Jeremy could feel his heart ache more than it did before. “Sure,” you spoke softly, as if you’d offend Jeremy if you talked to him too loudly.

He wrapped his arms around you, being as careful as he could with each passing second. The moment he got close enough, you rested your body onto his. He could feel the tension release and your head hit the crook of his neck. Your breathing evened, going from labored to the simplest task.

“Sorry,” you muttered, pulling away from the hug.

“It’s okay,” Jeremy replied sheepishly.

There was silence in a room for a second, almost debating your next move. Jeremy noticed you shiver, arms crossing again before your hands began moving up and down your bicep. He moved without thinking over to his closet, trying to find something to make you comfortable. His fingers touched the edge of his blue sweater, and in an instant, he knew that it was the perfect thing to give you.

He took it from the hanger, hands carrying the sweater with a certain kind of delicacy. Jeremy sat next to you once more as your eyes shifted to look at him. Unfolding the sweater, he looked at it for a moment before draping it over your shoulders. Jeremy knew he had succeeded in making you feel even just a little bit better when you gave a soft smile. You took a breath in, as if you were inhaling the moment. If there was something Jeremy knew, it was that neither of you wanted to forget this.

“You looked cold,” Jeremy broke the silence.

The dullness returned to your eyes as you nodded. His mind starting racing, he needed to make this better, and fast. “It’s kinda funny you know,” he started, hoping that this one little thing he thought was ironic wouldn’t upset you, “you said that you had borrowed my sweater before, now it’s actually true.”

You gave a chuckle, and Jeremy lit up. Yes! You put your arms through the sleeves of his blue sweater, pulling the ends to cover your hands just enough. There was a pause. Your eyes met his, faces almost inches apart from one another’s. Jeremy could practically feel his eyes closing, his face getting redder by the second. “Can we lay down?” you asked innocently, shooting big doe eyes at the awkward boy who sat beside you.

It was his turn to be speechless, his face only getting redder. You swung your legs around and began leaning back. Jeremy waited until you were comfortable before leaning back himself. Both of you laid down on your side, faces merely inches apart. The two of you remained like that for a little bit, before you broke contact with Jeremy, laying on your back instead of facing him like before. He watched as you did so, eyes scanning you body. You were stiff, not completely comfortable still. He watched your eyes shift, staring at his ceiling with a blank stare. It was in this moment that Jeremy realized just how much you meant to him. You were everything, even in these moments of absolutely nothing.

“Do you want to talk about something?” he asked cautiously. His eyes eventually trained on your emotionless face as you stared up at the glow-in-the-dark stars Michael had put on his ceiling when they were just 14. It started as a joke, Michael teasing Jeremy about how ‘afraid of the dark he was’, but now he’d grown to love them. They halfheartedly glowed as twilight fell upon the room, but Jeremy didn’t dare move a muscle to turn on a lamp.

He could barely make out your features, but Jeremy saw you nod. “I just don’t know where to start.”

“You don’t have to tell me anything you don’t want to,” Jeremy reminded.

“But, like, I don’t know, I feel like I need to tell someone.” You went silent for a second, eyes scanning his ceiling. You gulped. Even in dusk, he could see that clearly. Nerves were getting to you, no doubt about it. “I don’t know how though.”

Jeremy didn’t know what to say. He had been through this, sure, but he wasn’t quite sure what you were alluding to. At this point in time, it could be anything. But he knew one thing for sure. If you wanted to tell him, he would give his full attention to you, no matter how long it took. “It’s okay. It doesn’t need to be perfect. You can wait on telling me, too.”

You shook your head, eyes still focused on the stars above. “I won’t do it later. Or, at least, I don’t think I will.”

The caring boy nodded, eyes almost encouraging you to speak.

There was a beat before your face contorted into a grimace, eyes just squinting open as you spoke. It was a while before you actually said anything, but Jeremy was happy to wait. It took a minute before you spoke again, your body and face completely stoic. “Have you ever been…” You trailed off, but soon tried again. “Have you ever been like…in a situation where…I don’t know…you—uhh you didn’t want something, but maybe the other person didn’t stop?”

Jeremy paled before his cheeks turned bright red. His fists balled up, next tensing. He could feel his veins begin to make an appearance, his jaw clenching in the process. He remained still, but his breathing hardened, like he’d been running for miles. He was going to kill your boyfriend. It didn’t matter if he’d be in prison, it didn’t matter if he got in trouble with his dad. The only thing that mattered was your safety, which right now, was being completely ignored. Fuck, he’d seen it before, he’d seen the fucking texts and now it was too late. Jeremy could feel his hands move, almost getting up to get his keys and personally drive to the police station and get you to the hospital because there was no way, no way, your stupid punk ass dipshit boyfriend was getting away with—

“I’m sorry, that sounded really awful. Maybe we shouldn’t talk about it,” you noted, almost sensing Jeremy’s anger.

For just a moment, everything was still. This wasn’t about him, or revenge on your boyfriend right now. This was about you. Sweet, good, amazing, you, who didn’t deserve half of this. What made it worse was Jeremy knew that feeling. He knew it way too well and wouldn’t have wished it on his own worst enemy, much less the one person who meant the world to him. “I get it,” Jeremy mumbled.

“What do you mean?” you asked, eyes immediately darting towards Jeremy.

“The Halloween party junior year at Jake Dillinger’s house. Someone pulled me into a room and started…making advances that I didn’t want. I couldn’t even stand up and leave, you know? I’m not even sure how I did it, but I managed to get out of there and into the bathroom as fast as I could. I mean, if things didn’t work out the way they did…”

You nodded, not needing Jeremy to even utter the words. “I guess this is sort of similar.”

“What do you mean?” Jeremy asked.

“I mean like,” you stopped, almost as if you’d been frozen instantly. “Sometimes he kisses me and I don’t want him to. But if I say no, then it’s game over, you know? And it’s not like I can just pull away, either. He like…holds my face against his, finger tips digging into the back of my neck. Even if I’ve stopped kissing, he won’t let go no matter how hard I push against him.” Jeremy didn’t say anything as you kept going. “But like tonight it escalated.”

You didn’t meet eyes with the boy beside you; you hadn’t for a while. “I guess tonight was basically a repeat of the Halloween party for you, but like it was me in that situation instead. Things went to far, I ran for the bathroom and got the fuck out of there. I just grabbed my stuff and left, even though he kept apologizing to me. And you know, maybe I would’ve actually believed them if they weren’t so false all the time.” You paused for a second, regaining some composure. “Fuck, what did I get myself into?”

“Something you don’t deserve,” Jeremy interjected. He could feel his fists clench again, heat rising in his veins. Oh your boyfriend was gonna pay. He was gonna fucking pay.

You sighed, a waver coming from your throat. “Thanks, but I mean like, maybe it’s my fault? Like I do say yes and he isn’t really good at picking up on hints. I know that. Just like I know I can say no. But it’s like, would he even stop if I did? Would he hurt me if I said no? Would he be offended and just start screaming at me over text like he’s done a thousand times now?”

“I’m sorry to interrupt,” Jeremy started, “but I can’t hear you say this anymore.” His hands waved, as if they could stop you all on their own. “What you’re telling me is that you don’t have the option to say no. That’s not consent.”

“But sometimes I don’t say anything. That means he doesn’t know I don’t want it, right? So, it’s my fault.”

“Not even a little bit,” the boy beside you said, losing all of the building anger. There was no way that this was your fault, no matter how anybody twisted it. He had to tell you that, at the very least. Jeremy decided to use the example from before to show you exactly how wild you sounded. “I didn’t say no at the Halloween party. I was forced into a situation where I didn’t say anything. People made advances and I didn’t mutter a single yes or no. Does that mean I consented?”

“No, of course not,” you said, eyes shifting towards Jeremy’s figure.

“Then doesn’t it work the same way for you?”

You were quiet for a second, and Jeremy hoped that he’d won you over. He knew he hadn’t when your face remained the same, not showing any emotion at all. “This is different.”

“How?” he asked, jumping at the opportunity to tell you that you didn’t deserve this.

“You weren’t dating that person. You didn’t have a future with them, a history with them, you had nothing.”

“That doesn’t have anything to do with it,” Jeremy said, still watching your face for any sign of him being helpful. “And I think you know that.”

You nodded, tears beginning to well in your eyes. “I’m not being crazy, right?” you whispered.

“Not even a little bit.”

As soon as those words left his mouth, all of the parts of the evening clicked together in Jeremy’s mind. You had stood without taking too much space, worried about touching other people and what that would mean. It made sense how you crumbled into yourself, the feeling of violation taking over its host. The shower, and more specifically, the time you took in the shower. It was to try and get that dirty feeling off of you, an attempt to feel better, maybe a quick fix. The lack of emotion put into every singular moment was fitting now that he knew the truth. The tension in the room, the lack of comfort, everything fell right into place.

“Thank you,” you spoke up suddenly, a tear running down your cheek.

“You’re welcome,” Jeremy assured. It took all the strength he had to not wipe the tear away and wrap you up in his arms just to hold you for a while.

“I guess I’ve just forgotten what it’s like to kiss someone that I want to, you know? I don’t really remember what consent feels like.”

For the second time that night, Jeremy’s heart broke. To him, what you just said meant that it had been so long since you’d been treated like a human being that you forgot what it was like. You forgot what it was like to be shown decency or love. It was only natural for Jeremy’s next words to be “I hope you do someday.”

“Thank you, Jeremy. For everything. Really. I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

There was a second of silence, both of you not sure what to say next. It was getting dark exponentially quick, so Jeremy quickly leaned over and turned on his lamp that sat on his night stand. It wasn’t much, but it was better than the darkness that surrounded them before. It was calm again. Jeremy basked in the relaxation for just a few seconds before you spoke up again.

“Why do I feel like I’ll never get that?” You asked to no one in particular. Your voice was still a little shaky, and your eyes didn’t leave the stars.

“What do you mean?”

“Like I don’t know,” but Jeremy knew that you did know exactly what was running through your mind. It was almost like sugarcoating; something to cushion the blow. “It seems like my boyfriend now is the only person who’d even remotely like me. It took years fir him to even get the courage to talk to me again after I turned him down in middle school.”

Jeremy gulped, his palms starting to sweat. He didn’t want to confess, at least not in these circumstances and not until you’d broken up with your boyfriend, but at the same time, his chest screamed for his heart to do something, anything. He didn’t even get to finish his thought before you kept going.

“And, god Jeremy, you hear about those people who get stuck in this cycle of abuse, person after person just worse than the last, because the victim is looking for someone to save them. I feel like I’m gonna be one of those people.”

“You’re not,” Jeremy whispered loud enough for you to hear. “You’re not like those other people.”

“Maybe I am,” another tear slipped down your cheek. “I mean, I didn’t think this would happen. I thought I was smart, but now look at me. I’m dumb, I’m clueless, I’m hopeless. I saw it coming, I knew what was going on, but I pushed it away. I thought I was just being dumb, anxiety acting up again or some bullshit. Jeremy, I did this to myself. I knew I should’ve left the minute he made me uncomfortable with his dependency, but fuck, I didn’t.”

“You’re not dumb,” the sweet boy said, gently running his fingers against your arm. “You’re wonderful. You’re incredibly smart, and you’re nowhere near hopeless. You didn’t let this happen to you, not even a little bit. And if anything, he’s the stupid clueless fuckface who made you feel this way. I know it sounds crazy, but god, he isn’t the only one who is going to like you. You have tons of people that’ll like, hell, love you. They’ll be speechless when you walk into a room and root for you and your happiness. Not the other way around.”

You stopped for a second, taking in every single word. “How do you know that?” you asked, softer than before.

Jeremy went beet red. “Well, I uhh, I just know.”

There was another pause between you two, and god Jeremy hoped he helped. It was all he could give right now, and it was his best. He just hoped that his best was enough.

“I’m sorry, I’ve been talking about myself way too much. What’s going on with you?”

“Oh, uhh, it’s okay. You said you needed to say something, so you did.” He got quiet for a second before muttering out an “I’m glad you did.”

You looked at him finally, your whole face tinged pink. Your eyes remained puffy and glassy, but Jeremy didn’t mind. He thought they were magical anyways. He could see all of you eye’s undertones, from the lights to the shadows and everything in between. He noted the dark swirling black pupil staring back at him, a hint of happiness inside. “How did I get so lucky?” you asked after a little bit.

“Wha--?”

“Jeremy, you are the sweetest person I’ve encountered in my entire high school career. I’m not sure how you do it, but you manage to calm me down and keep me safe for hours on end. I haven’t felt this safe in months,” you smiled your genuine smile, the one that Jeremy missed dearly, at him. “Thank you.”

“It’s no problem,” he stuttered out awkwardly. “I just wanted to keep a…a friend safe.”

You softly chuckled, your hand softly brushing his for just the slightest millisecond. Jeremy could feel his cheeks heat up at the soft contact between you two, causing you to giggle. “You’re cute when you blush.”

That made Jeremy go even redder than he was before. You gave a small laugh in response, gently putting your hand out to meet his. “Do you mind if I scoot closer?” you asked, a smile still painting your features.

The only thing Jeremy could do without sounding like a dork was nod. You did just as you had asked, rolling completely onto your side to face the nervous boy. There was a moment where everything was still, your eyes him with a grace he had only known from daydreams. He shivered a little bit, but it wasn’t from the air conditioning that was being pumped into the room at a regular rate. Jeremy kept the stillness going, contemplating on his next move. He wanted to show that he cared; that you meant the world to him. He wanted to show how important you were, that you mattered, even when you didn’t believe his words. He wanted to show that, fuck it, he loved you. He loved you with his whole heart, mind, and soul. As you laid beside him on his bed, Jeremy could practically feel his impulse control depleting. Maybe that’s why he didn’t stop himself from saying, with the most delicate tone, “Can I kiss you?”

You continued to stare, confusion forming on your face. Damn it, you were going to say no. He should’ve known, you were a good person, and you probably would never cheat on your boyfriend, even if you might be desperate to. But all of those thoughts were lost as a smile formed on your lips, almost crooked it was so big. It reminded Jeremy of when he first started admiring you from afar. “You know what?” you began, finger grazing over his knuckles, “Yeah. Thank you for asking first.”

The two of you leaned in, goofy happiness evident in your features. Your hand moved from Jeremy’s and grazed his cheek. He shivered at your touch, immediately craving more of it. He anticipated it to be something similar to a peck, just a short snippet of what he got before. Instead, he could’ve sworn you’d hired Disney to give him a fireworks show he’d never forget. It was in that moment that Jeremy was so happy his dad was out for the night.

If you were honest with yourself, you didn’t intend to have so much passion. But sometimes, you just had to indulge in the way Jeremy felt against your skin. It’d been forever since you felt some kind of warmth, but with the sweet boy, it felt like the entire world was set aflame. Your hand remained on his cheek, as you just focused on every aspect, taking in every feeling, every emotion, everything you’d been missing out on for almost a year.

Jeremy’s hand snaked its way around your hip, a powerful shot of comfort and purity pulsating through your body. It was like a drug; and you definitely just became addicted. You began to get closer to him, adding a rhythm as soon as you got there. It wasn’t long before Jeremy caught on, his hands promoting the gentle sway you’d set. His fingers ran their way through your hair as your arm wrapped around his torso, almost enveloping you in a sense of security; a sense of home. As cliché as it was, it was a hand that reached out, a lifeline to happiness, hope, success, and so much more. It was like everything you could’ve dreamed of even wanting was just there, keeping you safe inside of his arms.

Your heart started beating faster as your breathing got heavier, the beat to your rhythm now speeding up. Jeremy’s hands held your hips dangerously close to his. He stopped the sway and broke contact, and you almost whined at him stopping, even for just a second to readjust. Luckily, Jeremy could almost read you like a book, and lifted up the hem of your shirt, his calloused fingers now rubbing circles onto your bare hips. “Is this okay?” He asked, concern pooling into his eyes.

“Yeah, yeah, of course,” you half stuttered out, still a little disoriented. “Thank you for checking in.”

He nodded, lips coming into contact with your jawline. Jeremy kissed downwards, going from your jawline to your neck. You cursed yourself for being somewhat ticklish as a giggle practically erupted from you. You could feel Jeremy chuckle against your neck, small laughs coming from him as well. He kept going, small vibrations from his laughs making the night almost better that it had been before. Because for the first time, these kisses weren’t about perfection like some bullshit you see in the movies. No, this was about comfort, making sure that everything was exactly how you wanted it to be, making mistakes like giggling perfectly wonderful.

Jeremy continued down your neck, small blushes and smiley gasps leaving you. He went slowly, almost teasingly, but you knew that it was for your own comfort. At some points, you could see the tips of his ears turn red, the soothing circles on your hips becoming a little bit rougher. Your hips were nearly touching at this point, every rough circle bringing them closer and closer. It wasn’t long before his kisses got lower, a little past your neck and just onto your collarbone. He had to manipulate your shirt a little bit to get there, but somehow he’d managed it.

Everything froze. You froze. Jeremy pulled back immediately, allowing your body to turn so your back was against the bed. He just wanted to make sure that you were okay, but he was only met with numb, unblinking eyes now staring up at the ceiling. His hands began to sweat and shake, unsure of what exactly was going on and what exactly he should do next. Fuck, did I do? It was like you had died right there in Jeremy’s arms. It didn’t help that your face had paled and your body had the illusion that you’d stopped breathing. He checked your pulse, making sure it was still there (it was, but at a slower rate than it had been before).

He sprinted out of his room to get you water from the kitchen, hoping that would help in even the slightest way. As soon as he got down the stairs and into the kitchen, Jeremy nearly slipped, his socks slippery against the hardwood. He recovered quickly before grabbing a bright orange plastic cup and filling it with water. His mind raced at the possible things he did wrong, Rich’s rules burning in his mind. The cup was finally filled and Jeremy ran back up the stairs. He entered his room slowly, just in case your state had changed and you needed quiet or something.

You hadn’t moved.

It had been well over 30 seconds to a minute, and yet you were still completely frozen. Your hands were relaxed, but he could still see them tensed into that position. He set his cup down on the dresser, walking towards you to double check your vitals once more before probably calling an ambulance. He sat down beside you, hand gently placing your wrist into his grip.

You shot up with an audible breath, hand immediately resting on your sternum. Your breaths were deep and fast, eyes darting around the room. Jeremy had jumped back, a small yelp escaping him. You squeezed your eyes shut, breathing finally going back to normal.

Jeremy inched closer, concern flashing over his features as he scanned you up and down. “Are you okay?” he asked, craning his neck forward slightly.

“Oh, yeah,” you attempted to play it off as if nothing happened. You inhaled, hands still shaking. “I’m fine, how are you?”

The lanky boy shook his head, running his hands through his hair, “Are you sure? Do you need something?”

“I uhh I’m good.” You looked down at your lap and Jeremy’s blue sweater. “Thank you.” There was a moment of nothing, each of you anticipating what the other would say.

“Is everything okay? You look upset.” you asked, now staring at him curiously. When he looked back, the first thing Jeremy saw was the now prominent bags under your eyes and the slight color that had flushed onto your face. Your hands weren’t keeping still, fidgeting with one another while you waited for his response.

“You uhh,” he started, unsure of exactly how to explain the events that just happened. “You like…I don’t know,” he took a breath, “went numb on me.”

Your eyes immediately broke any contact with him and looked back down at your lap, almost in shame. “Sorry.”

Jeremy’s heart broke again. You knew what had just happened, even if he didn’t. And what was worse is that this has happened before, without someone to help you or anything. He decided to try and keep things light, maybe not bring it up for a while. “I brought you some water,” he spoke softly.

“Thank you.” A pause. “I should go. Thank you so much for tonight, Jeremy, really.” You began to get up to grab your things to go.

“Hold on a second, okay?” Jeremy asked, holding out his hand as a form to stop you without physically touching you. “I don’t want you getting into an accident or something. I think we can agree that that would be the last thing we want right now.” There was a new feeling to the room, not necessarily disgust, but it wasn’t something good. He spoke up again, trying to convince you that staying safe was better than being sorry. “You can stay here for a while and calm down if you want.”

You thought for a minute; Jeremy could practically see the gears turning in your head. The waiting for you to decide was nearly agonizing for him. Out of all of the things that happened tonight, and the new information he’d gotten, Jeremy had now become hyperaware of your boundaries and sense of safety. He was worried that he had done something wrong just merely minutes ago. There was a moment to ask, that was apparent, but this one was not it.

Just as Jeremy was about to open his mouth to apologize for anything that he did to make you uncomfortable, you wiped your eye with his sweater’s sleeve. You looked at him again, almost scanning him up and down before turning your torso towards him. Somehow, Jeremy read your signals and opened his arms, only to have you bolt into them. Hot tears wet Jeremy’s shirt and he wished that he had some more tissues to give you, but the closest ones were across the hall, sitting in the bathroom innocently. He wrapped his arms around you, his hand gliding up and down your back as your sobs subsided. Jeremy leaned his head down to your ear, speaking as softly as he could. “Do you want to lay down again?”

You nodded and Jeremy pressed a kiss to your forehead before breaking the hug so you could lay down. He waited for you to get comfortable again before grabbing the bright orange cup that held your water and handed it over. You took a tentative sip, watching Jeremy carefully. He awkwardly looking around, not used to someone searching him up and down with the look you gave him. His eyes landed on his laptop and an idea popped into his head. “Do you maybe want to watch something on Netflix for a little bit?”

“Yeah, that’d be great. Thank you,” you mumbled. It was Jeremy’s turn to nod as he grabbed his laptop. He stood facing you, but his screen facing away from you as he opened the mac book pro. Logging in wasn’t the problem, it was the browser window that just happened to still be up. He exited it quickly and then searching for the Netflix app. The app opened with one quick keystroke, and the caring boy handed you his laptop.

“You can pick what we watch,” Jeremy smiled sheepishly.

“Oh no, I couldn’t. I don’t want to pick something that like, you don’t want to watch.”

Somewhere, in the back of his mind, Jeremy was slowly plotting exactly how he was going to get revenge on your boyfriend, a court order possibly included. You weren’t even secure enough to pick something to watch, even if he literally just said he didn’t care whatever it was. He inferenced that your boyfriend said what he just did often (fuck, how did he manage to mimic him?! That was the exact opposite of what he wanted to do), and then would hurt you because you made the wrong choice. It was probably over text, similar to all of the other verbal and emotional abuse you’d received.

But he pushed those thoughts aside, deciding that focusing on you would be the most productive at this moment in time. Especially since you were side eyeing his Netflix account, preciously sipping your water. Damn it, how did you always manage to be so attractive; so aesthetically pleasing? He stepped forward, getting settled into his bed himself as he spoke. “We can watch anything, okay? My number one priority right now is keeping you safe, calm, and happy. And if you want to watch Disney, a TV show you like, hell even some romantic comedy or 90s teen movie like Clueless, I’d be perfectly okay with it.”

“No, Jeremy, I really…I’m intruding already and I just…”

He looked at you, concern filling in his eyes. It didn’t matter what your choice was to him. All that mattered was you, your happiness, your safety, and your overall well-being. If your choice was some ridiculous thing he’d never heard of, he’d watch it. Because tonight wasn’t about him. He knew it wasn’t about him from the minute you walked into his front door and Michael ha left for the night. This was totally, completely, 100% about you.

And if this was about you, he didn’t want to push you into something you weren’t comfortable with, even if the task was as simple as picking something that you wanted to watch. As much as it made his blood boil, Jeremy knew he wasn’t going to win this fight. He had to use a tactic of some kind, something to make you more comfortable with making a choice. Then the idea hit him like fall damage in any Zelda game. “You’re not intruding, okay? It’s totally fine that you’re here, and you actually made my night a lot better. I mean, I like Michael, but we always do the same things. It’s nice to get some variety, you know?”

You didn’t respond to him, eyes still fixated on the laptop screen.

“How about this?” he touched your arm gently, causing you to look over at him, “I pick three things I’d be okay with watching. You can veto all of them or pick one of them. If you veto, I’ll pick another three.” Jeremy didn’t just pull this out of his ass of course. It was a tactic Michael had used with him after the SQUIP-incident. He could remember not wanting to make his best friend even more upset by choosing the wrong thing, or worse, feeling a phantom shock.

You nodded at his idea, a small smile forming on your lips. He could see on your face that you knew that he understood your circumstances. Jeremy mirrored your smile before listing three possible things to watch. Suddenly, your choice was easy to make. The title rattled off of your tongue as Jeremy searched it up.

The laptop was situated between yours and Jeremy’s legs, acting almost like a barrier. That barrier broke about half an hour into the program. Your empty water cup rested against your thigh as Jeremy felt a weight on his chest, almost too engrossed in the laptop to notice.

He looked down and saw you asleep against his chest, blue sweater sleeve pulled down just enough to give you sweater paws. Your head and right arm rested against his chest, the light from the lamp causing a warm glow to enclose the room. He kissed the top of your head before pausing the media and putting his laptop next to the bed on the floor, careful not to wake you. The bedside lamp would be trickier, but he somehow managed it before resting his head against his pillow, his right arm wrapping around the small of your back.

Jeremy smiled to himself before closing his eyes for the night, so happy, so delirious that he’d managed to keep you safe and sound for a second night.  

[wildknightblaze]

I'm stealing this from Twitter to do on this so I don't run into tweet or thread limits. What's that? I don't have enough followers to fill up enough likes? TOO BAD I’M DOING THEM ALL ANYWAY.

1. I don't like to admit it, but at this point, Waluigi honestly makes the most sense. If he counts as Wario, though, then fuck it - Geno would rule. Show the Mario RPGs some love.

2. Dixie. I was honestly hoping for her over K. Rool. Don't get me wrong, K. Rool is infuckingcredible and I'm thrilled he's in, but some people seem to think it's a binary choice between more female characters or more villains, and that's stupid and weird, but if it's true (which it’s not) then I will always pull for more female characters. Plus she'd basically be Diddy with a bunch of hair-based moves. That would rule.

3. Tetra. Preferably with ideas from her Hyrule Warriors moveset. Flipping around, shooting shit with water magic, and endlessly spinning around with a cutlass is something that should translate to smash pretty well.

4. Adam as an Echo of Zero Suit, jet heels included.

nah, just kidding. Honestly, the Metroid representation in Ultimate is already really good, so it's a tough choice. However, since they did shrink Ridley down to his NES size, maybe they could do the same with Kraid. He's basically the only major Metroid character left who would work. Of course, if Sylux does end up being a part of Prime 4...

5. I don't really know who from Yoshi would be good who wouldn't be better as a part of Mario. I guess Kamek? Or for maximum yuks, a normal-ass Shy Guy. Or...no, wait, I've got it. BABY MARIO.

6. Bandana Waddle Dee. Without question. He basically already has a smash moveset. I'm honestly shocked he isn't already in.

(obviously it's because sakurai HATES any kirby game he didn't personally touch wugjgugjgsuhgjfjfjdjkd)

(for the record I don't subscribe to that theory, it's dumb)

7. Krystal, definitely. Her assist trophy is a good start. What would be cooler would be combining her staff with typical Star Fox gadgets and putting her in a Star Fox uniform (blue jumpsuit, the white jacket) so people would have to work a little harder to be horny about her.

8. Honestly I stopped playing Pokémon so I'm not sure who's good anymore. Decidueye looked pretty rad though. But since we already have a Gen 7 rep, I think Sceptile would be pretty cool too. Either way, grass types need more love in smash.

Though, with the Fire/Fighting overload, it's funny that none of them ever made it into Smash. If it had to be one of them for whatever reason, Blaziken is the best of them.

9. Everyone says Ninten, but ehhh. Would he really bring anything Ness and Lucas don't already do better? Let's do Paula or Kumatora, let's get some kickass black magician girl action in here.

10. Everyone always says Black Shadow. Black Shadow looks dumb and boring. I want Jody Summer. Again, I will always pull for more female characters, and I want to see a kickass lady with an extra-ass Captain Falcon moveset.

11. Uhhhhh I dunno. They did a lot of good ones already. But since I have to think of somebody... Blaster Master was the other NES game I had, so maybe Jason and/or the SOPHIA tank. I remember the tank being pretty agile too. They could do the original or the Blaster Master Zero redesigns, either works, but I almost feel like the original NES design is more likely considering how they handled Simon in this game - making him hearken back to his original well-loved design instead of trying to do one of the weirder modern interpretations. Either way, a vehicular-based character would be really interesting!

12. ALLLLLLL OF THEEEMMMM

Ok no seriously. I fell in love with Edelgard the second she was revealed (can't beat a sensibly-dressed noblewoman voiced by Cristina Vee with a giant axe), and I want to see people's heads explode when they try to comprehend a Fire Emblem anime in Smash who doesn't have a sword. Celica would also be awesome. Maybe she could be like Robin, but her spells don't break - they damage her instead. Or promote Lyn. Heroes proves she's still a fan favorite.

Whatever the case, I welcome them all and laugh in the face of those who are still angry at so many Fire Emblem characters. Die mad about it.

13. Viridi would be pretty sweet. She did a lot in Uprising, but she still felt held back somehow. Getting to play as her in smash would be a good halfway point. I get that she's a Mii Swordfighter outfit because that was the only way they could do her staff, but I imagine her being an Echo or semi-clone of Palutena ala Isabelle/Villager.

14. If not Waluigi, then probably Ashley. Everyone always says Ashley though! So for some variety, maybe Kat & Ana, as a katana-wielding duo like the Ice Climbers. I'm surprised they're no longer in Ultimate.

15. Raiden, as he appears in Metal Gear Rising Revengeance, without question. It's one of my favorite games ever, we'd be spoiled for music choice, and his moveset would rule. I can just imagine a final smash consisting of chopping them into a billion pieces (they wouldn't ACTUALLY be cut apart, of course, this game isn't rated M) and pulling off a Zandatsu while RUUULES OF NAAATURE screams in the background.

16. I was really surprised they didn't promote Shadow to an Echo. He seems tailor-made for the concept. But even then...I'd prefer Tails. Let him claw back some of the coolness he's lost. Give him some gadgets like in Sonic Battle (I feel like I’m the only one who remembers that game), a bunch of tail whip attacks, and a final smash involving strafing the stage with the Cyclone.

17. A Beady Long Legs so I can freak out and stomp on them forever for giving birth to my arachnophobia.

No, really, I have no idea. There isn't really any good idea that wouldn't just echo who's already there. Maybe Louie with a different Pikmin loadout.

18. K.K. Slider. He's just as much of a mascot as Tom or Isabelle are, and I feel like he's underappreciated or forgotten in that regard. I want to smash fools with an acoustic guitar. Maybe he could copy Jigglypuff's up B and play music to lull people to sleep too.

19. Proto Man! Or, if he'd be too similar to his brother, X. X would be pretty awesome, actually. Like a taller Mega Man with a command dash and some of the crazy powerful MMX weapons, with the Nova Strike as a final smash.

20. ...Er. Good question. I never played Wii Sports Resort or Nintendo Land or Miitopia or anything like that, and I feel like those would probably be the best places to draw someone from. Maybe some Miitopia classes. I don't know what that would entail though.

21. Mike Tyson.

No, probably Mr. Sandman or Mr. Dream or someone similar. A big final boss, anyway. Or maybe Glass Joe for maximum yuks. He'd be the joke character.

...No, wait, definitely Mr. Sandman. He'd be the first explicitly black character in Smash! That's definitely worth something!

22. Ms. Pac-Man. Like. Hello???

23. It's probably gotta be Rex & Pyra/probably Mythra too, but the only bit I've actually played of Xenoblade 2 is a bit of Torna. I did like Lora's design though, so maybe her and Jin and...uh, her other Blade whose name I can't remember.

24. Again, people saying stuff like M. Bison or Akuma. Eff that. Let's get Chun-Li in here! Show Fox how the rapid kicks are done! Get another Laura Bailey-voiced character in there! Recreate EVO moment 37! Do it you cowards!

25. Out of all of Final Fantasy, I'd probably be happiest with someone classic, like Cecil or Terra. That said, I generally do like all the games, so I'd be fine with someone like Squall or Noctis or even frickin' Lightning. But the thing that'd make me REALLY happy would be if they double-dipped into 7 and pulled Tifa. Get a kickass soft-spoken lady brawler in there! She's the only one who's willing to put up with emo Cloud anyway!

26. Jeanne, it's really the most obvious choice. Though Rodin would be cool because, again, just to have an actual black person in Smash. THERE IS NOT A LOT OF POC REPRESENTATION IN SMASH. That's an important thing!

27. I haven't even played Splatoon 2 or Octo Expansion, but I love the Octolings, it's gotta be them.

28. Alucard is the obvious choice and would be perfect. But in the interest of not always picking the obvious choice...Soma would be an amazing backup choice. Just as powerful (arguably moreso, he has greater weapon variety) and cool (make one of his victory lines be "I'm a lot cooler now!" like the massive fucking dork he is). And his games were the best ones in the series. don't @ me.

(Ecclesia is a very close second though. Shanoa would also be amazing, but she's not nearly as well-known.)

29. PUT MASTER HAND ON THE CHARACTER SELECT SCREEN FOR REAL, YOU COWARDS.

I uh, don't really know aside from that. Maybe a Fighting Polygon? Gotta respect your roots and all.

30. I will always pull for Isaac for something like this. If Bandai Namco decided to let Tales have further representation than a Mii costume, I would also really fuckin’ love Lloyd or Yuri.

But...to be totally honest, it’s another JRPG that has stolen my heart as of late. I would fuckin love it if any of the Octopath Travelers joined the fight. Olberic would probably fit the best, but I'd love it if they managed to make Primrose or Ophilia work. Ideally, I could have all eight and wouldn't have to choose!

[aenariasbookshelf]

Stream of consciousness babble re: Thor Ragnarok

So.  Thor: Ragnarok.  I have feels.  Let me tell you them.

First off...and I feel bad saying this considering my great love for Darcy Lewis and Jane Foster...but out of the three Thor films, this one is kind of the best of them.  It also provides a cap on a satisfying and full character arc for Thor over all three movies (more so than what we saw in CA:CW, but don’t get me started on that because I am still bitter over Avengers 2.5 or Iron Man 4, take your pick of description - imho, of course.  If you feel differently that’s cool too).  Needless to say, I enjoyed the movie immensely and do recommend it.

Okay, more spoilery thoughts after the cut…

If we want to go Shakespearean with it, I almost feel like I have to compare Thor’s character arc to Prince Hal, from the do-nothing Prince to King Henry V, who comes into his own and leads his people.  And by the end of the movie, Thor is the leader of Asgard, though the definition of Asgard is...interesting at that point.  Thor also loses his safety blanket of Mjolnir, but the twist of Mjolnir being just a tool and not the ultimate source of the God of Thunder’s power is a nice one.  There’s also kind of the idea that you can’t go home again, that sometimes you have to sacrifice the land of that home to create a new home somewhere else.  In any case, I actually like that they pretty much blew Asgard to dust at the end of the movie.  

Hela.  Marvel has finally given us our female villain and holy hell, she is impressive.  She also seems like one of the most powerful that they’ve given us thus far, which makes her worth it to me.  It’s interesting that they make a point of constantly referring to her as the Goddess of Death, if only because of what that means for Thanos.  In the comics, Thanos is very in love with the personification of Death and is trying to court her by bringing the universe to her feet, if I recall correctly.  Of course, if I also recall correctly his main rival for her affections is Deadpool, so do with that what you will.  That said, I do feel like they kind of rushed things with Hela a bit - I have so many questions about her background and her history with Odin and Asgard (i.e. is Frigga her mother?  What sort of magic did Odin do to bind her away?  If Asgardians are as old as they say they are, why does no one else remember Hela and has ever mentioned to Thor and Loki that oops, yeah, Odin had another child and she’s bugfuck crazy, which is why we don’t talk about her any more).  I want the answers to these questions and I didn’t quite get them, which kind of lends to the rushed feeling of the movie.

Bruce.  THE DURAN DURAN T-SHIRT IS TONY’S BRB LAUGHING FOREVER AT THAT.  And I mean that with all the affection possible - I love Duran Duran.  Poor Bruce needs therapy after this incident, I think, considering that he spent over two years as the Hulk and didn’t remember a bit of it.  That’s...not a good sign.  That said I now need all the fics of Bruce and Thor being intergalactic best buds, because reasons.  Mark Ruffalo is always awesome as Bruce, so really, his presence here was well needed, especially considering how they treated many of the other recurring characters in this movie.

Which definitely falls under the category of a giant, stinking CON for this movie - they did their recurring characters dirty.  The Warriors Three were sent out in rather undignified fashions mostly (Hogun tried, but Hela’s beating everyone’s ass in at that point) after being on screen for maybe 30 seconds a piece, Sif didn’t even get a mention that I heard (If they mentioned something please tell me, I probably missed it), and Jane dumped Thor’s ass in between movies.  At least Jane threw him over, which is probably the right move if your boyfriend’s been on an interplanetary business trip for the past two years with barely any contact in between.  At least they left her alive.  I can do good things to her in fic instead.  No mention of Darcy either, which is probably a blessing because again, fic.  

Okay, back to some positives - Valkyrie.  She is awesome and I will not hear anyone say otherwise.  Her first scene is impressive, and from one fellow lush to another I raise my glass to her.  There’s the question of her age though, which is looped in with Hela’s sparse background story - how old exactly is she if she was the only survivor of Hela’s first attempt at taking over the universe that neither Loki nor Thor ever heard of??  Are all Asgardians that long lived?  Or was there a collective memory wipe, or something like that.  I will say that the Asgardians, even the civilians, are damn badass, which I love.  Especially Heimdall, who is really the heart and soul of Asgard.

Loki - who the hell did your makeup for this movie?  Because damn, I could see the pancake makeup clear through the screen.  Okay, more seriously, Loki definitely comes off as more of the Trickster God here rather than the evil bastard of his first two appearances, even though it was his actions of banishing Odin to earth that pretty much kicked off the twilight of the gods.  And I find it interesting that they do almost seem to be heading to a Loki redemption tale, as he really was ultimately on the side of the heroes here instead of the villains, and mostly acted for the betterment of the Asgardians at the end.  Mostly.  Look, we all know that fucker swiped the Tesseract after that glance he gave it in the last scene when he went to wake Surtur up, and dollars to donuts that’s going to be one of the things that draws Thanos’ attention straight to earth.  But I do have to say, I like Trickster!Loki a hell of a lot more than Villain!Loki.

Also, Loki and Valkyrie.  I kinda ship them.  If feels a bit wrong, but it could be oh-so-good.

Finally, I have to mention the music.

*turns up the Zeppelin and howls along*  Ahhhhhh-Ah-ahhhhhhhh-AH!

*clears throat*  Anyway.  Look, Thor and his crew kicking ass to Immigrant Song is one of the highlights of the entire MCU up until this point.  And while it almost seems like an obvious choice, I have to give Taika Waititi credit for actually bringing it to life.  I think he’s got a talent for matching up music to scenes and making it relevant to what’s on the screen (for further proof, see his movie Boy, which uses the music of Michael Jackson to great effect in there also) and you can’t get better than ‘I come from the land of the ice and snow...’.  Between the music choices (they got one of the guys from Devo to compose the other music, which impressed me) and the candy-colored 80s backgrounds, this movie actually visually felt like a comic book also, which was thrilling.  Well, it felt like that for me at least, especially as I’m a fan of Jack Kirby’s kind of insane multicolored panels from back in the day.  Look, while I love the Cap movies more than anything else, I’ll admit that they’re kind of visually grim.  And then here comes Thor with neon and rainbow bifrosts and sparkles and just...YES.

TL:DR, in conclusion, while Thor: Ragnarok isn’t a perfect movie, it is an entertaining one and a good one, and a worthy conclusion to Thor’s trilogy of movies.

[renaramblesaboutcomics]

Wednesday Roundup 4.10.2017

This week ended up being a relatively light reading week for yours truly, but that doesn’t lessen the quality of my enjoyment whatsoever. In fact, I had enough love to share that I wanted to go over all of the available Marvel Legacy Primers for this week as well, even if they’re just short blurbs!

So without further ado let’s jump into it.

Marvel’s America, Marvel’s Black Panther, Marvel’s Incredible Hulk, Marvel’s Invincible Iron Man, Marvel’s Jean Grey, Marvel’s Monsters Unleashed, Dark Horse’s Usagi Yojimbo, Lion Forge’s Voltron Legendary Defender, Viz’s Yona of the Dawn

Marvel’s America - Marvel Legacy Primer Pages (2017-present) Robbie Thompson, David Lopez

As interested as I am in America, I haven’t had the opportunity to really follow her outside of the Young Avengers run she is in. So I think, oddly enough, for me this is one of the most necessary “Primers” of any of the ones I’ve read so far, and the information was very good to have. It really helped to frame her history, her relationship with her mothers, and her confidence in herself in a new light that is really appreciated. And the art from David Lopez is as beautiful as any of his issues on All-New Wolverine.

Marvel’s Black Panther - Marvel Legacy Primer Pages (2016-present)  Robbie Thompson, Wilfredo Torres

There’s honestly not going to be that much more to say on most of these Primer pages. They’re fun, quick run throughs of relevant histories of the characters and teams that they showcase and depending on your interest and engagement may influence whether or not you want to hop in on the next storyline that they’re promoting. 

I do like the sense of unity and legacy that is built into the Black Panther title already, having it be a responsibility tied to kingship that T’Challa knows and the all-important bond it has between him and the memory of his father. 

It really puts a spin on the importance of Legacy that this event seems intent on hammering home.

Marvel’s Captain Marvel - Marvel Legacy Primer Pages (2016-present)  Robbie Thompson, Brent Schoonover

Carol Danvers is one of those characters I desperately want to lie on every feasible surface level, but whose books have never quite got me on board and whose guest appearances always leave me a bit more confused about her than I had been before her said appearance. And yet there was still not a whole lot added here. I appreciate it, and young Carol is adorable, but there was nothing here that didn’t make me feel like... well, like she’s Hal Jordan. And ‘m not a fan of Hal Jordan.

Marvel’s Incredible Hulk - Marvel Legacy Primer Pages (2017-present) Robbie Thompson, Joe Bennett

Everything I have read so far with Amadeus Cho, both in Totally Awesome Hulk and in his guest appearances or team-ups in Moon Girl and Devil Dinosaur to Champions has  really connected to me on a level that Bruce Banner hadn’t exactly managed over the years. So it was nice to see a little blurb that went over their mutual histories and explored what was there.

It almost makes people forget that Marvel unnecessarily killed Bruce Banner for... no reason. Almost. Not quite. Though he might be alive by now. I am obviously not current.

Marvel’s Invincible Iron Man - Marvel Legacy Primer Pages (2016-present) Robbie Thompson, Valerio Schiti

Gah, reading this overview of Tony and Riri’s history really reminded me how much I really loved reading Invincible Iron Man when it first came out and just how much I positively adored Riri’s character and her banter with Tony. You know. Before they completely undid the relationship within the first storyline and then Bendis went all Bendis on us and it became obvious that Tony was coming back sooner than later and then Secret Empire destroyed the world... somewhat literally. 

I’d love to read a Riri-centric book in better circumstances. Or at least once the next trade is out. We’ll see.

Marvel’s Jean Grey - Marvel Legacy Primer Pages (2017-present) Robbie Thompson, Mark Bagley

I was actually just recently talking to my good friend @shobogan about how much more interested I would be in Young Jean Grey if only Marvel had the guts to either give us a romantic relationship with her and Laura (or her, Laura, and Scott OT3 hullo) or have Older Jean Grey return to mentor her younger self and others at the school since she’s the only X-Man kept dead for this long who was considered a Top Tier X-Man. And since we’re finally getting the latter, it seems, now I have to look at what we know of Young Jean and consider my feelings all over again. And this primer gave me the opportunity to do just that!

While I’m not following Jean’s book at the moment, I’m obviously a pretty big X-fan so I have a general sense of where all the moving pieces are at the moment. And I have to say, with Older Jean returning it’s going to be a pretty awesome time for comparing and contrasting their characters and relationships. After all, this younger Jean is far, far less experienced than her counterpart, but has a peripheral knowledge of her own fate, and as much as she tries to not be defined by it, it’s been defining her in the opposite direction in a sense. And more than that, she’s a Jean who sees the Phoenix Force not as an asset or a tool, but sees it as an honest to god enemy, which I’m not sure how that will work. And I’m even more interested in Jean’s return now because of the possibilities of their interactions with the Force together. 

Guess we’ll wait and see!

Marvel’s Monsters Unleashed - Marvel Legacy Primer Pages (2017-present)  Robbie Thompson, David Baldeón

I have actually been planning for a little while now to pick up the trade of Monsters Unleashed because I had fun with the miniseries earlier this year and I have been craving more Elsa Bloodstone (as well as the entirety of the Nextwave crew) and this seems like one of the more interesting powers to come from the Inhuman collision.

.... Actually it’s completely stolen from the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles comic and later adapted TV episode dedicated to Jack Kirby who had the power of creativity to draw and create anything he drew and also had a a penchant for creating monsters and different worlds and so on. So I mean. There’s that unavoidable fact. But Kei’s cute so I’d be willing to overlook it for the sake of seeing what Marvel plans on doing with this very wild and unruly power. 

Dark Horse’s Usagi Yojimbo (1984-present) #162 Stan Sakai, Tom Luth

The conclusion of Usagi and Inspector Ishida’s investigation about the doctors’ murders has come and the hilarity of Kitsune and Kiyoko bumbling along with them and incidentally becoming crucial to the entire investigation does not lose its edge either.

Story: The conclusion of this particular caper is interesting mostly in how the framing by coincidence is not ultimately a linchpin to the story, having been solved almost immediately in the story’s first issue. The inventiveness of Sakai’s work, overall, is simple subterfuge which continues to make each new adventure feel unique and uncertain. In this instance, it would be in the assistance that Kitsune and Kiyoko end up providing by revealing the true murderer almost by accident. 

That being said, as simple as individual stories are for Usagi Yojimbo, the complexity really rests in the margins for long time fans, and that shows most clearly in the way a quiet buildup of several arcs seem to flow together for coming to a head. Perhaps the most famous and arguably best all around example of this would be in “Grasscutter” and how years of storytelling and slow vignettes linking together culminated in one of the greatest comic storylines of all time. We seem to be getting something similar in the backgrounds of more recent adventures with this guild of assassins which Usagi has unknowingly crossed the path of and caused ire to several times at this point. 

I’m excited to see where that story is taking us, and likewise interested in how little details, like Kiyoko successfully pickpocketing Inspector Ishida, will pay off down the road. 

Lion Forge’s Voltron Legendary Defender Vol. 2 (2017) #1 Tim Hendrick, Mitch Iverson, Jung Gwan Yoo, Ji-in Choi

Egghhhhh. Are you ever really rooting for something against your own common sense and get bit in the butt regardless? I feel like that happens to me on an inconceivably high average and almost all of it can be blamed on the fact that for some reason I am still expecting comics to play fairly with me. If anything my standards should be lower by now. But, well, let’s see if I’m being a bit too harsh on Lion Forge’s second effort in making a Voltron comic. 

Story: I would argue that one of the reasons that I had unreasonably high expectations for this comic is in part because the first comic produced by Lion Forge had actuallymanaged to not only be a fairly solid effort as a comic but managed to capture the spirit of the current Dreamworks Netflix series in a wa that was welcoming to fans new and old, and importantly of all ages. So I was hoping for more of the same with this comic project.

In more or less words... I did not exactly receive that. Where there was a solid read of the characterizations in the last comic, this issue showed a severely flattened to the point of parody version of the paladins, especially poor Hunk here who had the already obnoxious and unnecessary fat jokes and food jokes from the series amped up to the point of being his only characteristic in this comic. To the point that at one point he doesn’t even form a full sentence, just grabs a pie successfully from a training maze and says “Hunk win”. Which... I guess is somewhat better faring than the other paladins who didn’t even have dialogue that really fit them. Save for Pidge who was likewise flattened to “the smart one.” 

The storyline itself of a new planet where Voltron is needed but the species they end up helping... they actually fail initially, I won’t lie, is a pretty solid premise for Voltron overall, and would be something I’d love to see the show tackle similarly, but the fairly generic wolf-furry aliens didn’t receive a whole lot of depth in this first issue. 

Depth trended on being the biggest problem for this issue overall. There wasn’t an examination of the characters and their interactions, how they treated each other and how they tackled problems differently. The sort of things you’d want from an ensemble cast like Voltron. Which is surprising since again the first series by Lion Forge managed all that and was written on a much younger reading level at the same time. Each issue tackled exactly those very things -- individual characters, how they functioned in the group, and how they tackled obstacles differently to find a solution together. I would expect the same here but it didn’t seem to be on the menu. 

Hopefully all of this will be addressed and fixed as the comic progresses, but as for now I’m apprehensively putting this series on my three issue trial run. 

Art: The art was not a great improvement on the previous comic but it also wasn’t bad in the least. In fact I think the art popped very well, adjusting colors and textures about as well as you’d expect from a television show adaptation for kids. I do wish that the face models for the paladins would keep more consistent and overall there was a rushed feeling to the comic that seemed fairly unnecessary considering it’s the first issue. 

Viz’s Yona of the Dawn (2009-present) Vol. 8 Mizuho Kusanagi

You know, I keep hearing over and over again from friends and trusted sources that Yona of the Dawn is a series that will continuously subvert my every expectation and make me continue guessing and yet every volume I really do manage to be caught off guard by something which the story chooses to do which is shockingly poignant and new even to its fairy tale epic adventure structure. 

Story: So the Yellow Dragon joining the group was hilariously and purposefully anti-climactic but what we got as a result of that choice is the new direction for the series that ties directly into Yona’s own self-realization. She doesn’t simply want to rule and she doesn’t simply want to conquer. What she wants is to know her people and to save them from the crises that were overlooked by her father before her and by Su-Won now. She wants to take up arms to protect the entire country not just with the power of the loyal followers she has gained but with her own hands. She is something that neither of the kings -- her father or her cousin -- could have ever dreamed of being.

And then my expectations were really taken for a loop by us then in turn following Su-Won as he travels to the Earth Tribe and earns the respect and allegiance of the chieftan general there through a series of manipulations, tactical conceits, and ultimately quiet and subtle intimidation mostly by the fleeting moments in which he dropped his ditzy and well-meaning act to show his true intentions. But as fascinating as it was and as surprising as it was, for me at least, that this complete shift of POV for a few chapters actually managed to keep me on board when I’m not one to often fully appreciate the “villain’s side of things”, probably the most interesting part of any and all of this is actually how much tension is underlying Su-Won’s leadership. HIs appeal to the Fire and Earth Tribes is less in the leadership that he promotes and more in this current of possible warmongering that appeases the more warlike fractions of Kohka. 

It’s all fascinating and offers a sense of danger in Yona’s new quest to help the people of fher country feel a new sense of danger, knowing that our group is ultimately pretty unprepared for helping parts of the country which would not be as receptive to their quest or the offer of Yona’s leadership.

That being said... the final chapter driving home Yona’s relationship with Hak and everyone’s strange obsession with protecting Yona but rejecting her attempts to grow her own strength and independence. Lik eI guess we’re just all going to overlook the way she killed the slave trader mob boss in teh previous volume. But beyond all of that, my real concern is just... I cannot stand the way Hak’s character is portrayed in his “over protectiveness” of Yona. It’s far from romantic to me to continuously have a character obsess over someone to the point of “jokingly” considering locking them away for the world to see. 

It’s not the best issue of the series by far, but it has some great moments, especially for Yona.

Art: I actually do think that the further we’ve come in this comic, the more consistent and confident the at has gotten. There are still lots of soft tones and all the markings of a usual shoujo, but the real stand out this time around is that we’re beginning to see more and more the variation in ethnicities in the people of the country, which is honestly relieving even if for now the Earth Tribe, which drives that point home, consists mostly of Su-Won’s supporters and may carry with them some more unfortunate stereotypes being fed that I might not be aware of as a non-native to Japan.

So far as single issues this week are concerned there’s really no competition for Usagi Yojimbo in a regular week but especially not in a fairly light week. Yona is still a fantastic book and if there were other trades to compare it to I’d probably lavish on it more, but since we’re on singles I have to give this one to the unending quality that is Stan Sakai’s anthromorphic feudal epic.

And, once more, I am in a bit of a financial crunch for a multitude of reasons, not the least of which being the medical bills I’m paying for my dog, Eve, who experienced a catastrophic dog fight and underwent surgery recently. On top of that, I have exactly a month and a half to pack up everything I own and move halfway across the country again which is not helping those financial crunches I mentioned before either.

As such, I really would appreciate if you enjoy my content or are interested in helping me out, please check out either my Patreon or PayPal. Every bit helps and I couldn’t thank you enough for enjoying and supporting my content.

You could also support me by going to my main blog, @renaroo, where I’ll soon be listing prices and more for art and writing commissions.

RenaRoo Ko-Fi

RenaRoo Patreon

RenaRoo PayPal

[kariachi]

Well damnit somebody had to write one of those “soulmark” stories for this fandom. Note that this has my own spin on things, so know that this is less a love story so much as it is a finding family story.

Not really complete because I couldn’t think of an ending.

Kevin is born with his first soulmark.

It’s not that strange, a lot of people have soulmates who are older than them by enough to have a signature when they’re born, but the fact that nobody can read it is. The writing is legible, though small, but the letters are strange. His grandparents spend their free time in the first three months of his life trying to figure out what language it is, where this first soulmate is from.

Then he and Eric’s powers come in.

Then they get sick.

Eric dies.

Nobody bothers anymore.

~~

Kevin isn’t bothered by not knowing, he’s young and innocent and all he cares about is that the letters are there, printed neatly under his collarbone. That someone out there has a part of his soul.

He can’t wait to meet them.

~~

The next mark appears when he’s two and he too young to even think of reading it. His cousins assure him that the letters hardly even count as such and refuse to read it for him.

~~

By the next year he’s figuring out reading himself and this soulmate’s writing has improved. Kevin is more than happy to walk around daycare telling everyone he has a soulmate named Peter.

~~

That same year another one appears across his right palm. It’s another one where he doesn’t know the letters, and like the first he can’t find them no matter what languages he looks up.

He starts trying to learn new languages anyway, just in case.

~~

At four years old, Kevin spends more time than the daycare workers would like perfecting his signature. Everybody can write their first name, but he does the entire thing, repeating it over and over so it can be neater and cleaner.

Sometimes he wonders if some of his relatives know his name and he’s going to make certain his soulmates do.

~~

That same year four more marks appear, two on his right arm and two joining Peter’s on his legs.

One changes constantly, refining and growing over the next week until he can understand it as ‘Gwendolyn’.

~~

Jennifer.

~~

Helen.

~~

Emanuel.

~~

He has Peter’s full name now.

‘Peter Rosario Wheels’.

It’s awesome.

~~

Kevin starts keeping a list, writing each name over and over until he can do it with his eyes closed. He’s five now, almost six, with no friends and a family that avoids him if they can.

The names mean he’s not alone.

~~

A bunch of looping circles on his other palm slowly turns into ‘Cooper’.

~~

Mark eight is on his legs again, underneath Helen’s. After a few weeks of practice it’s clearly ‘Alan’.

~~

When he’s six his final childhood mark appears. It’s more strange letters- though it’s hard to tell at first- set on his waist, in the back where he needs a mirror to see it.

That means he has nine soulmates, which is more than anyone else he knows.

Kevin feels blessed.

~~

Gwendolyn Marie Tennyson and Jennifer Rose Tennyson.

He wonders if maybe they’re sisters.

~~

Helen Rebecca Wheels.

~~

Emanuel Nathan Armstrong.

~~

He’s sitting in class one day during third grade, bored out of his mind- he’s missed three weeks of school already, how is he still this far ahead of his class?- when he notices Jenny’s name shifting again. It’s a welcome distraction, they’re all always welcome distractions, and he immediately gives her his full attention.

The gentle smile on his face turns to a confused frown as the letters change completely. Slowly, tentatively, and with a proud flourish at the end.

‘Benjamin Kirby Tennyson.’

Kevin tilts his head, blinking at the soulmark, then smiles again.

That’s a cute name.

~~

Cooper Alexander Daniels.

~~

Alan Joseph Albright.

~~

When he’s ten Kevin and his parents are in an accident. He walks away from the wreck covered in blood and bruises, wandering away in a shocked daze.

His parents don���t walk away at all.

He never sees his family again.

~~

Ben and Gwen come into his life when he’s eleven and has found himself living in New York City. She’s a bit of a dweeb, but Ben is amazing and he loves them both instantly.

Things don’t go well.

~~

It’s not until after that summer, when he’s sitting in a prison in a different dimension, that he starts figuring out about his more mysterious soulmarks. He’s been moping, a ‘depressive episode’ Kwarrel calls them, when the older prisoner sits down beside him with a fond smile.

“So, did you ever figure out what this says?” He gently pokes the spot where Kevin’s oldest soulmark is. Kevin shies away from the contact, his mood is foul and really he’d rather just wallow in his own pain and self-hatred.

“No.” Wordlessly, Kwarrel lifts part of his shirt. For a moment Kevin hesitates, out of the corner of his eyes he can tell one of Kwarrel’s soulmarks is shown and while he’s never hidden his it’s still not polite to try to look at someone else’s. But then, he is deliberately showing it…

‘Kevin Ethan Levin’.

It takes a minute for the words to sink in, for the pieces of the puzzle to click in his head, but once they do he grins, mood lifting, and collapses against Kwarrel’s side.

“You improved very quickly,” he says, patting Kevin on the head affectionately.

“I spent so much time practicing, you wouldn’t believe.” Kwarrel chuckles and Kevin grins wider.

If there’s anyone he wants tied to his soul, it’s his first real parent.

~~

Once he’s safe long enough to process what’s happened, Kevin breaks down. Screaming, yelling, pacing in the dirt. He absorbs a stone and tears at his soulmarks, Ben’s name, Gwen’s, Kwarrel’s-

He can’t even guess how long he spends crying.

~~

Joining the Rooters isn’t the best thing he’s done, the experiments hurt and he can’t stand the pitying looks Servantis gives the names on his arm, but it gives him a place to stay, food, a purpose, and some control. Their base is also where he meets Peter (“Pierce, please”), Helen, and Manny (“Call me ‘Em’ again and I will hit you”).

He doesn’t think he can feel enough to love them anymore, but he likes them well enough and they seem to like him too.

~~

Alan comes later and Kevin wants to scream when he realizes who he is. They’ve already been through so much and he just can’t take the idea of putting another of his soulmates through it.

Kevin hides his feelings behind another empty smile.

~~

Meeting Cooper is, nice actually. He’s found himself kept for materials for not the first or last time and Ben, Gwen, and a new little entourage find him. Kevin isn’t quite feeling, and he still remembers the last time he saw the Tennysons- when he tried to kill everybody and he’s such a fuck-up- but he smiles and chats and presents the palm with Cooper’s name when the boy comes close to help him break free and he can read his own name along his jaw.

He’s fun to tease and really smart and Kevin can tell they’re going to be good friends.

~~

Kevin has known Argit for a little over a year when they figure it out. The smaller teen’s left ear has been shredded by a young vulpimancer and Kevin is trying to piece it back together when he sees the lettering, normally hidden under the fur of his inner ear.

‘Ke  n  t  n L vi ‘

For a second his heart stops, but he shakes the feeling off and continues working. He knows what’s supposed to be spelled out there, can recognize his handwriting, but making sure his bestfriend keeps his ear is more important right now.

When he’s done he shows Argit the soulmark on his waist, explaining what he found while he watches him grin.

“Of course you’re my soulmate,” Argit says, tugging affectionately at his hair, “who else would be?”

~~

He’s sixteen and everything from between last May and November is blurry, but he’s standing in a crater with Ben and Gwen Tennyson and putting his hand in with theirs just feels right.

~~

They’ve just saved the day on Galvan Prime and Rook has pulled him aside to make sure he’s okay after the whole ‘shoved out a jet by his girlfriend’ thing. He has a loose grip on Kevin’s wrist, looking him over with a critical eye even as Kevin assures him that he only has some bruises, when his gaze stops at his hand.

“I am glad to see I am not alone here,” he says with a smile and Kevin has a moment of confusion while he undoes his armor, peeling it away and brushing up the fur to show Kevin’s name on his upper arm. Kevin laughs and pulls him into a brief hug.

“Well, I guess that explains you worrying about me.”

[comixology]

In this podcast episode, Slim and Lou chat with Scott Snyder himself!

Primary topic this episode: Scott Snyder! Other topics include Scott following Image right from the beginning, copying Rob Liefeld up and down, getting a signed piece of art from Todd McFarlane on his 13th birthday, responding to and feeling less alone with comics, writing books that mean the most to you, creating from scratch at Image, catharsis while writing, Image’s unique release schedule, coming back to the horror genre, Jock is kind of a big deal okay, The Green Room, The VVitch, Jeff Lemire is pretty awesome, and what Scott’s reading!

Matt: Tia, we're back.

Tia: We are back.

Matt: Biggest show probably in podcast history.

Tia: For once, you're right.

Matt: It's the second time we've interviewed him, but we're here to celebrate the 25th anniversary of Image Comics, with unarguably, an icon in the field. A.D. After Death is currently out, Severed from a previous run in Image. Wytches, which has been added to CU up until its most recent issues, welcome to the show Scott Snyder.

Scott: Thanks so much for having me. I really appreciate it. It's an honor to be back.

Matt: 25 years of Image, Scott, can you believe it?

Scott: I cannot believe it. I'm so proud to be a part of it in a tiny way. It really is like an incredible legacy.

Matt: What was your history with Image Comics? Did you make the jump over as a reader when it all began?

Scott: Oh completely. Completely. I was deep into the comics scene right at that time. I had a portfolio. I wanted to be a comic book artist. I copied Erik Larsen, Todd McFarlane, Jim Lee, like all those guys. I mean Liefeld. I copied Liefeld up and down. I love that whole sort of stylistic flare that was there that felt like kind of the way I'd loved kind of Kirby stuff, where it felt exaggerated in different ways in Larsen and even in Jim's stuff, with that kind of realism. There was still this kind of almost over the top stone carved quality to the characters that was part of his style. It was just such a celebratory moment, artistically, where creators were taking their careers into their hands, but they also had such unique voices that it was a really thrilling thing to be involved in as a fan.

My dad and I would go to New York Comic Con at that time. We'd go over to the Penn Plaza Hotel, where it was just a bunch of guys with longboxes and I waited for Todd McFarlane on my 13th birthday, I remember, for 2 hours? 3 hours? And got a page from him. I told him it was my birthday. He signed it to me and drew me a Spidey on the back. I still have it right here in my office. It's Spidey 319. It's a great page and has him sneaking into Aunt May's house and taking off his costume. He's all bruised up, you know?

I was a huge fan of what they did both sort of ... As I've become part of the industry now, I think I have a much deeper appreciation of the bravery it took to make that move and the sort of doors that it had opened for all of us. My generation of writers and artists are benefiting from kind of the daring of that generation. Yeah, I was a big fan of what they were doing then, and an even bigger fan now.

Matt: Did you ever go up to Todd now, since then and be like "Hey, check out this thing that you drew me when I was 13?"

Scott: Oh yeah! Yeah, we were on a radio show together a couple of years ago. I knew I was going to be on it with him. It was in New York. I took a picture of the page and showed it to him. He was super kind. I've hung out with him a bunch of times since, because Capullo's was really good friends with him. Whenever we're all in town, we usually go out for lunch. I've been out with him a number of times. The first time I had seen him since I was 13 was that, on a show, and I showed him on my phone. Like I still have this page. It's framed in my office. “Thank you, because it meant a lot to me.”  He was so kind. He gave it to me for like barely anything at the time. It was when my dad was like, "It's his birthday." He gave it to me for super cheap and drew on it and wrote, and drew me a full Spidey head and happy birthday." He's super kind.

Tia: I feel like the fact that you have had this experience and you know how important comics can be for people really comes through in all of your work. Wytches was actually my first book of yours that I ever read. There's so many things I have feelings about, because it's a horror book, but it's also just such a powerful emotional book about depression and about being brave. I remember a particular flashback scene where Sailor's yelling at her dad in the hospital about how he can't help her with her depression, because he's “not in the room. “

Scott: Yeah.

Tia: I was crying in public. I was actually on a plane, crying over this page. I really related to it. You feel like you're so alone in that. Then all of a sudden, this person, this person you have so much admiration for, like explains it perfectly. Other people read it and they respond to it in a positive way. It just makes you feel less alone. I don't know. Comics can be really powerful. I see that in not just in your creator owned work, but also in your Batman books and things like that. Are you able to just like separate feelings when you're writing? Is this just something that is in everything that you write?

Scott: Well thanks for saying that. I really appreciate it, by the way, Tia. The beauty of Image is they're almost like inverted sort of tasks writing for a place like DC and writing for Image, because the goal is always the same, which is to make stories that speak to things that you're concerned about, that keep you up at night or inspire you in those ways. When I teach, that's always sort of the golden rule, is that if it's not the books that would mean the most to you when you pick it up today, then don't write it. The kind of rules or the sort of format beg very different things of you.

At Image, essentially you're going in there with nobody invested in anything that you are bringing to the table. They don't know the mythology of your series. They don't know your characters. It's inherently really important to you and they know that, or you wouldn't be writing it. You have to get everybody else to sort of see that the world that you're creating and the characters that you're creating are something that they should take the time to believe in.

With The Big Two, they already care deeply about the characters and the whole world. You're trying to sort of show them that you care about these characters in a way that allows you to write to things that, again, sort of you find to be anxiety through yourself or anxieties in the air at that minute. They're really different muscles that you flex on either one, but I kind of find that the only times that I've taken time off from create your own, I got really depressed even though I loved the books that I was working on at DC. I didn't have any place to go where it was completely mine, where I knew all the rules and I could go anywhere I wanted. It was almost like a tree house. Without that, I realized pretty quickly that it's just not healthy for me creatively.

They're very different, but they almost have this kind of strange symbiotic relationship to each other for me where I enjoy going into the kind of box of Batman and that stuff, where there are rules that you have to sort of abide by, and also expectations on the character, and a kind of investment in the character that you're almost working against sometimes to get things in there that you care about or trying to sort of make a story that's personal. I love the way you're able to do it. I feel really grateful to DC for letting me sort of go so far afield sometimes to get points across.

But then with creator owned, you're trying to bring everybody in, because you, obviously, from go, already care about the stuff that you're writing about, because you're creating it from scratch. Somehow they work in a really interesting way for me, where at this particular moment, I'm working on After Death. Well I just finished it, but I was working on After Death for almost two years with Jeff Lemire. It's largely about a sort of a guy with a crippling fear of mortality, which he winds up being able to sidestep, because they create a cure for death, for aging, that he's a part of.

Having that and having All-Star Batman and then this kind of Batman story I've been working on with Greg Capullo on the side, which is sort of the other end of the comic spectrum entirely, where it's like “you'll never get away with this.” You know? Joker and world ending machines from grand stuff. Just the zaniest, craziest stuff over there. Then on this end, it's like prose and trying to sort of do the needlework of that.

That's what I really love is that's my happy place is sort of the elasticity of that, trying to have one thing. Always doing stuff that kind of challenges you in one way or another, where you're doing something in the superhero world that is ambitious or sort of outside your wheelhouse, and working with different people that you have or if you're working with somebody the same that you've worked with before, trying something really new, and then at Image, or create your own. Trying to do things, again, that sort of push you outside of your comfort zone.

I have a bunch of ideas for other series that are like, which is I have horror series in my head. I've sketched a couple to Image and they've been really nice about them. I'm sure I'll do them some day, but I want to do A.D. or do something like that, because I didn't know if I could. You know? Trying that, those are the writers that I admire the most and I look up to the most, I think, are the guys that, and the women that try things constantly that surprise you. I know I fall on my face sometimes, but I'd rather kind of zig-zag and try the things at the farther end of the spectrum and fail. I think there's a certain kind of story at this point both on Batman, like in super heroes and in create your own that I can do pretty easily, I think, just because I've done it so many times. You know? It's better to, for me at least, get out of your comfort zone, I guess.

Sorry that's sort of a corn maze answer to probably what was a simple question.

Tia: Perfectly all right. It sounds like this is the sort of thing that could be really exhausting or leave you feeling really raw. It sounds like you found a way to make it almost cathartic in a way.

Scott: Yeah. There are definitely times this year, where I've fallen down. I'm pretty open about, I think, at least I try to be. I don't usually talk when I'm having hard time and say I'm having a hard time, because of probably the most basic way. My family reads Twitter. My family reads, my parents, my extended family actually looks at that stuff. I never really air my, "Oh I'm having difficulty right now." I always worry that it's going to freak everybody out. I think people should, 100%, reach out when they're having trouble publicly.

Yes, the stretch in between those kinds of projects is really invigorating. I love it. My plans for next year is the same kind of thing, where I want to do the kind of series you wouldn't expect from me, and do another project, do a different kind of project that's smaller and more sort of more almost like comic-strippy.

At times, I have an idea for some, but trying to do these things that surprise you but at the same time understanding that at least twice in the process of writing After Death, I had a really difficult period, where I got really insecure and felt like I'm not good enough at this. “I'm not going to be able to pull this off. Nobody's going to care about this. This isn't any good. What are you doing? Why are you doing this? You should've played safe.” All of that.

The great thing about working with somebody like Jeff Lemire, who's literally my best friend, or one of my best friends, if not my best friend for the last seven years, is that he was always there to say, "Take a breath. I've seen you go through this before. Pick it up. Relax. Take some time and get back to it."

The fact that I'm so proud of the book. It's certainly an imperfect book. I'm sure I screwed lots of things up I don't see in it yet. The fact that I was able to complete something with my partner, my friend, that really gave me a tough time, because it looked right at stuff that I don't like looking at sometimes about myself and my own fears and how selfish and self involved they can be, and all that stuff, and how you disengage from the world sometimes over them, and all of that stuff. I'm really proud that I was able to make it with somebody who was like family to me. In that way, it means something special beyond just being a book I put on the shelf with art by Jeff Lemire.

Anyway, I guess what I'm saying is, in relation to what you're asking, the short answer is yeah, it's kind of like the best thing and the worst thing. You push yourself, and then I know myself long enough to know that sometimes regardless, a wheel falls off. I get into a sort of very self destructive mode. I can get depressed about it and worry and go through those things. Ultimately, I have good people, good friends around me. I'm still going to keep wanting to try those things.

Image certainly provides an incredible support system too. I got to give a lot credit there to Stephenson and everybody there, because A.D. changed forms a couple of times from being 100 pages to being almost 200 pages, and needing a little bit more time. They've always been incredibly supportive just about being really receptive to whatever form the book was going to take. They've been great about it. They're a wonderful place for creators in that regard too.

Matt: Yeah, After Death is a format that I'd never really thought about before. In fact, when new books come out from creators, I try to not read any previews. I just want to read it like the day it comes out, maybe outside of a like a two sentence pitch. I was totally shocked when there's a mixture of prose and art and kind of maybe what people are used to with monthly comic book storytelling.

It's obviously a great book too, but what I always appreciate from Image, and I'm interested to know from your standpoint, that Image has a very interesting release schedule. It's not twice a month or once a month. With certain creators and titles, you can kind of put out a few issues for a few months and then take a break, and then the trade comes out. It allows for a certain amount of flexibility for the creators, and most especially, the artist to kind of get their bearings in between. Is that something that you also see as a comfortable flexibility? Is it something you'd want to see other publishers adopt as well?

Scott: I wish it was the standard format, honestly. I love serialized comics. I love the idea of every month, you go in the store and getting my fix, but as a creator, it's much more ... It's a sort of format I wished DC and Marvel would adopt, just because it gives you time to refresh. It gives you time to sort of regroup. It gives you time to get people interested in what you're doing, because you have that break where the trade comes out. I love it. I understand the pitfalls of it too, which is like a perfect example, where taking a break, we both fell into projects, me and Jock. I think I can say it freely now: He got a job as the second costume designer on Star Wars Episode 8. He showed me a picture of Mark Hamill wearing the clothes he designed and all that stuff.

Matt: Oh my gosh!

Scott: It was like take as long as you need, dude. Just take as long as you need. Then I really got caught up in A.D. and went through a period where I was super focused on just trying to see if I can get past the middle point and really get the hardest stuff out of the way. There's a danger in it too in that way. I understand that, where we've taken much longer off on Wytches than I would've liked and he would've liked, but it's certainly more my fault than his, I would say. Now that we're back or we're coming back, I think the benefits of that format present themselves too, because the story picks up two years later. There's a lot of fun to that as well.

Tia: I have to say I'm really pumped for what I have come to call “sandwytches.”

Scott: Yeah, right!

Tia: I feel like it just makes it even more terrifying, because you just avoid the trees and you'll be fine. Apparently, not. I don't know. What about the horror genre keeps you kind of going back to that? I feel like you're obviously such a nice person. You're a very congenial sort of guy. Yet, you are able to create these books that are terrifying or heart wrenching. I don't know. Tell me what the draw is.

Scott: You know, it's funny. I don't know. When I was a kid, I just always loved horror. I don't know if it was like because I was anxious or because you just like seeing popular kids get slaughtered or whatever in the Friday the 13th series. I think as I've gotten older, I think the thing that I respond to, and I hope is what I was responding to when I was younger is the idea that to me, when horror is done well, it's really almost you facing down conflict in its purest form. When it's done well, the monster, the terrifying thing is an extension of the fears that you have about yourself, or the fears that you have about the world, kind of personified in this horrifying thing or in person or the killer or whatever it is.

That was why my favorite movie even as a little kid, I mean I remember vividly having rented a bunch of slaughter movies. I think I might have said this to you in the last podcast, but there was a video store where I grew up in 26th street and 3rd avenue, called the Video Stop. It only closed maybe five years ago too, which is incredible. They would deliver R-rated movies to your house, but you couldn't get them there. As a kid, if you have them delivered, you were fine, but you couldn't pick them up there.

All the kids in the neighborhood knew the secret and would have R-rated movies delivered, so we'd have these horror movie parties, whatever. I've seen all these slasher movies everyone wanted to see, like Sleepaway Camp 2, and all that kind of crazy stuff. One day, I rented Night of the Living Dead, like the original black and white. I was so disappointed that it was black and white. I was like, "This is going to suck." Then watching it, I watched it and it disturbed me. I had nightmares. It was really the first time I had ever seen a move that really got under my skin in a way that was above my head. Like I shouldn't have seen it.

The thing that I realized later is the reason that it was so powerful and it’s my favorite move, is that it's this small march of terror that says that the zombies are not the thing to be afraid of, that we're the thing to be afraid. That sense of hopelessness and the cruelty in the movie, where everybody dies, spoiler, but it came out in 1960 whatever, so if you haven't seen it, you've had plenty of time! That sense of no one making it out and all because of human error was so bleak that it really shook me.

I think afterwards, thinking back, the reason that I'm so attracted to horror as a genre is that when it's done well that way, you're up against a monster, so there's fun and there's bombast, but you're really up against the things that you're afraid to look at about the world or yourself.

Even in drama, if I'm writing Superman, for example, I try and write it like I would write a horror book, where this thing that he's up against, the villain, is a deconstruction of all the things that he takes safety in somehow. You take those things that are dear to him that he finds this is what makes me me. This is what makes me happy. You flip them and say, "This is what makes you weak. This is what makes you vulnerable. I'm coming for you." And that sense that whether it has monsters or blood or gore or whatever, you write for that thing that you think is at the heart of good horror, if that makes sense. You know?

Tia: Savage.

Matt: Have you seen The Green Room? I watched that a few weeks ago and I felt like that was a very strange one.

Scott: I really liked that a lot. You're talking about the punk rock -

Matt: Yeah. Yeah. With neo nazis.

Scott: Yeah, dude, I loved that. It's that kind of stuff where it's like just those fears that you are almost primal. Where you take something ... It is. It's taking the thing that you find safety in and flipping it. Stephen King is just a genius at that. It's like your family dog or your car. You know? Your father in The Shining. Anything that's like hey, this is what makes me feel really at home. It's like, no, that thing is a murderous, terrible, frightening thing that's coming after you.

That movie, I thought, spoke to that in that way of like, that fun of like punk rock. We're rebellious. We're going here. We're doing this and that's the youth. The immortality of youth and that feeling of like you're invulnerable. Then it's like, no, you're not. You're going to get your hand chopped off in a door.

Matt: God, that scene was so horrifying.

Scott: I know. I know.

Matt: Also I think the other scene that kind of made me sit up and be like, okay, they're really doing it was when, and I don't think it's really a spoiler, but it's when the one guy, the girl, the guy's in like headlock, the one bad guy. The girl takes the knife and just runs it up his chest. Do you remember that scene?

Scott: Oh yeah, I remember. Yeah.

Matt: Oh my god. Man alive.

Scott: Yeah!

Tia: You're both such nice guys, and you're just the most blood thirsty nice guys.

Scott: Well the most brutal movie I've seen in years was this movie called Martyrs. That was the other night. I watched just month or so. I don't know if you've seen this.

Matt: No. Tell me.

Scott: Oh god. It's a French movie. It's way over the lines. Just prepare yourself for ... It's almost unwatchably brutal. It has this really terrifying sort of purpose. That's what I mean. You can go as horror, like gory and whatever you want, if it serves some kind of purpose in that way. Those films like that and those books. I was a huge Stephen King fan all through my youth. I still am, obviously. When you find somebody who earns the violence and the scares because they all speak to something. It's always invigorating, because it feels purposeful, like Night of the Living Dead and so on.

Tia: In other creatively spelled Wytch media, did you see the movie, The VVitch?

Scott: I did. I thought that was really well done. I liked The VVitch quite a bit. It has that constantly eerie, creepy dread sort of feel.

Tia: Maybe not so much with the slashing people with knives. I feel like that was, yeah, that was a creepy, uncomfortable feeling for the entire movie.

Scott: Yeah, just the loneliness, you know? That's the other thing I love about the ... I love when people are able to take things that are deeply ingrained in sort of the focal of the things that you grew up with. The myth of a witch or a werewolf or a vampire, those kinds of things, and make them new again for you now and speak to things that are scary right now. You know? I always love that, like what you're saying with Green Room or things like that, where you're finding movies or books that suddenly make something that you thought was sort of an enduring but recently gotten tired concept or trope into something really sort of immediate and urgent. I think with the news the way it is now I'm sure there will be a lot of that, a lot of like resurgence of classic monsters and brand new ways.

Matt: Yeah, seriously.

Tia: On the subject of that, I was just wondering when I was rereading Wytches before we talked to you, can you pledge people you've never met?

Scott: Yeah, you can. All you have to do is sort of ... You have to mark them though. You'd have to go to them and mark them.

Tia: Got you.

Scott: It's sort of like you use this tincture. You have to go to their place and do it, but you can pledge pretty much anyone. That was the thing. I mean it's definitely been a theme in a lot of stuff I'd done in a bunch of Batman, but also which is in other things, is the sides of yourself that you keep hidden from the world, the things you don't want people to see about yourself, the ugliness and those things.

In some ways, now it feels more potent than ever, not being explicitly ... My politics are pretty obvious. I'm on Twitter all the time about them, but not in a way that picks sides, but in a way that the acrimony and the discourse is so ugly. The things that people feel about each other behind closed doors that they don't say, those things seem to be driving a lot of conversation and a lot of action right now. I think there's a lot of energy, for me at least, writing the second arc of Wytches and all that stuff too, where you don't feel like you know your neighbor pretty well.

Matt: Last question and we'll let you go.

Scott: Sure.

Matt: The last question we usually ask folks what have you been reading? What would you recommend to people that are listening today?

Scott: Oh yeah. With Image, there's so many good things. I'm a big fan of Josh Williamson's Nailbiter, which I know is closing down, but I just caught up and just adore that series. That's great horror. Going back to what we were saying. If you're out there and want a good horror book.

I just picked up this new book. I've read the first two issues, because I got them early, but God Country by Danny Cates and Geoff Shaw, from Image. It's great. It's really good. It's this blend of heartfelt sort of family drama and larger than life mythology. It's really good. It takes place in the Texas plains. It's really, really good.

Paper Girls, I love. Brian is awesome. Cliff is awesome. They're old friends, so it's always great to see them do something invigorating. I caught up with that recently. I love the Batgirl team. I have to give a plug to Motor Crush as well.

Honestly, above all, Jeff Lemire has some amazing stuff coming out. He's got Royal City, which I read in its infancy a bunch of times. It's just a terrific, terrific series in the spirit of Essex County. It's got a slightly sort of magical realist feel in one way, but on the other hand, it's a really deep family drama. It's great. He's having a banner year.

The last thing I have to recommend too, from Image at least, is Curse Words by my buddy, Charles Soule and Ryan. Their stuff is so good. The series is funny and smart and really, really planned out. It's got huge plans, the way Letter 44 did. That's a great one too.

That's kind of like my Image roundup right now. I'm sure I'm missing or forgetting some stuff that I should say but -

Matt: It's a great list.

Scott: Then also, I'd have to plug from DC a little bit. I'm so proud of my buddy James Tynion with Detective right now. He's just murdering it. He's so good. He's my student a long time ago. Now I'm learning from him when I read his stuff. He's doing Detective is this team book with all the characters he's always wanted to write. It's just a great read for anybody that loves the bad family and kind of big soap operatic kind of narrative. There's a lot of good stuff going on, you know? I'm sure ... Apologies to anyone I left out. Ben Percy. He's a good friend too.

Overall, I don't know. I think it's a good time to be a comic fan. I know there's a lot of worry in the industry and all that about the direct market and the business. I hear about it a lot. DC and all that stuff too at Image. You can just hear conversations always around when you're doing stuff that has to do with planning of the line or teaching or that stuff that involves any of the publishing stuff. On a readership level, I don't know. I think it's still a pretty golden time to be a fan. I feel lucky.

Matt: Absolutely. We're all super lucky to be in it right now. The two issues that I have to quickly mention that were office favorites for the last two months were the two parter in Batman, with Batman and Catwoman on the rooftop.

Scott: Yeah. Yeah.

Matt: By Tom King. Was that Mitch? Mitch Gerards.

Tia: Yeah.

Scott: That's who I left out! Thank you, dude. When Tom who won 2016's Best Writer, in my head, like who is easily with vision, the Sheriff of Babylon in Omega Man and Batman, like the best writer of last year, I think Lemire's the best writer this year. Even though it's like a month in. I know what he has coming is why. I think he's going to take the crown this year. Yeah, man, that Tom, kudos. He's become like family as well. We're very, very close. I give him a ton of credit.

Tia: Well I'm just going to add to this list of spectacular books. A.D. After Death? I don't know if you guys have heard of it? It's by Scott Snyder and Jeff Lemire. Also, you could check out all of Wytches on CU, which we have in celebration of the 25th anniversary of Image. I'm so glad I got to talk to you, Scott. Thank you so much.

Scott: No, it's a pleasure. I can't wait to do it again. Thanks for having me. Again, congratulations on everything to you guys too. ComiXology has just been awesome. Right before you called, I was catching up on all kinds of things through Suicide Squad. That's after all the stuff I have to read for work and enjoy all of comiXology on my kid's iPad. Thank you guys for doing everything, making it easy to enjoy the thing that we all like to enjoy.

Matt: Thank you very much, Scott! We'll talk soon.

Scott: You got it. Take care guys.

[notallthosewho-wanderarelost]

Finally watched the first episode of Loki and it was AMAZING. It’s just the first episode but about a third into it it was already getting into the meta questions of “does Loki’s story belong to Loki” and “Loki is supposed to be the villain of other heroes’ stories,” and Loki not having any of that because he refuses to fit into a box is quintessential Loki right there!!! This show GETS IT. Amazing, wonderful, fantastic; I want to go reread Agent of Asgard right this minute. Tom Hiddleston has an executive producer credit on this show and I can tell. (He gave the crew a multi-hour-long lecture on Loki continuity with a whiteboard and everything and I think that’s awesome.)

Literally my only gripe is the DB Cooper scene because aside from the whole scene just being absurd (to quote Loki), Loki says he did it “because he was young,” but it was in 1971! That’s 50 years ago.

Thor is canonically 1500 years old (might be an estimate imo, but those are his own words from Infinity War) and we know for a fact Loki is a smidge over 1000 from the Thor prologue and then Odin’s story of adopting him from the same movie. Fifty years ago for Loki is probably something like 3 weeks ago for a human being. Maybe even less!

However, he does follow it up by saying he only did it because he lost a bet to Thor, which makes a lot more sense, and it’s clearly a sequence that’s meant to be ridiculous anyway, so I’m going to just ignore the timeline issue. And given that that scene is in so many of the trailers I wonder if someone insisted on putting it in the show for trailer footage.

Random thoughts on the episode:

I’m pretty sure I called the villain of the piece in abstract speculation way before the show started, but I just want it on record that as I was watching the show, literally the first whiff we got of a villain, the scene of Mobius investigating and asking the kid who did it and the kid pointing to a picture of the devil that had very prominent horns, I immediately went, “the bad guy is an evil Loki isn’t it.” It only makes sense, because Loki’s greatest enemy has always been himself (from both a narrative perspective and from a “who has Loki gone up against in comics” perspective), but still. I’m kinda proud of myself for that immediate reaction.

In fairness, it should also go on record that the Mephisto theory memeing from WandaVision clearly got to me, because my second thought was “or it’s Mephisto.” 😂 Admittedly, based on that picture of the devil the kid pointed to, the thought wasn’t completely out of nowhere!

Speaking of villains, the Time Keepers seem MASSIVELY shady to me. Three beings deciding the fates of everyone across possibly infinite universes isn’t right. I hope this show does what Legends of Tomorrow did with the Time Masters and has them go away somehow. Would love to see Loki taking them down as the finale. Actually, now that I said it I wonder if that’s where the show is heading...

The Miss Minutes commercial that gave the background of the TVA reminded me very much of Secret Wars only a step to the left. Plot twist, the Time Keepers are actually Doctor Doom! Jk. (Now I’m thinking about that time Doom froze Loki in time and turned him into a sculpture...)

The TVA looks like a giant subway station filled with the most red tape-y police ever and I hate it. I’m pretty sure Loki does too. I’m pretty sure both of those things are on purpose, major props to whoever came up with that aesthetic. It’s basically the exact opposite of Asgard and an excellent counterpoint to anywhere Loki’s likely to have ever been.

The giant heads behind the judge (the Time Keepers I assume?) look VERY Kirby-esque and also very familiar, but I can’t figure out if they look familiar because of the Kirby style or because I’ve actually seen them in a comic. Will have to poke around and see if I can dig anything up. (My first thought is Celestials? My second is those gods the Asgardians worship whom Loki encounters in the final AoA issue. Though a quick google tells me the latter is majorly wrong. It’s been a hot minute since I read AoA.)

Mobius saying there’s no magic where the TVA is made me sad. The idea of there absolutely being magic in the universe and a place being completely without it makes me sad.

The Soul Stone being in that drawer hurt me. Sure Marvel, just rub in how pointless Gamora and Natasha’s deaths were some more, why don’t you.

I just had an epiphany- MOBIUS IS LIKE THE TVA’S VERSION OF PHIL COULSON. No I will not elaborate currently; it just feels true!

I miss Coulson. :( And his team. I know there’s all that corporate infighting between Marvel Studios and TV but the show I am by far the most salty about them refusing to acknowledge is Agents of SHIELD. Feige can say whatever he wants but I refuse to stop referring to any of the shows as MCU. He can pry them from my cold dead hands.

Getting off-topic so final thought is that all the multiverse theories about a single correct timeline (and especially all the stuff about Steve and his going back to the past 🙄) seem premature. We’re one episode into the show and the whole idea of one “correct” timeline/universe with benevolent Time Keepers watching over it seems extremely counterproductive to both actual good things- free will is important!- and to everything Loki’s story was ever likely to be about. Because Loki’s story is very much one of him asserting his free will and choice over the boxes everyone and everything else try to put him in.

...I lied, last one now: Speaking of the multiverse- I caught that Multiverse of Madness almost-namedrop in the Miss Minutes short, and I would love it if we got a surprise Loki team up in Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness. Give me a Stephen/Wanda/Loki team up, Marvel! And a real one this time, not one where Loki and Wanda are actually demonic hallucinations. So close but yet so far, Damnation event. So close.

[xpwewarchive]

XPWEW Friday Night Pyro (8-24-2018)

Friday Night Pyro August 24th, 2018 Irvine, California @ The UCI Colosseum

Match Card: M1: Eddie Edwards def. Robbie Williams (No Limit First Round) M2: Golden Bryce def. Vinny Testaverde (Golden Bryce debut) M3: Slayer def. Awesome (Guest Ref: Marc Snow & Mick Foley) M4: The McGraws def. Mondo Milk ENT M5: Tanahashi def. Kota Ibushi M6: Jaques Dudley def. Chris Johnson & Champagne Clausen M7: Romeo Roselli def. GG (camerman) after time expires M8: The Truth Infantry (Edwards, Croyle & Blackman) w/ Will Olaffub def. TakaNaka, Pac, Rey Mysterio & Ruckus

Detailed Events:

No Limits Championship Tournament Quarter-Final Match M1: Eddie Edwards w/ Will Olaffub, Steve Blackman & Croyle def. Robbie Williams via submission

*Robbie Williams slow to get up gets medical treatment and has his arm in a sling and as he is getting carted to the back. Steve Blackman grabs Robbie and destroys him in quick fashion, soon Croyle and Edwards even get some cheap shots in and Edwards re-applies his finishing submission hold Crossface as paramedics pull him off

*Troy Clausen with Joel Gertner comes out during the mugging of Robbie and he screams at The Truth Infantry “What are you doing?, Olaffub orders Edwards to stop as The Truth Infantry slowly walk past Clausen with their arms up as if to say they aren’t guilty of attacking a defenseless hurt wrestler. Robbie doesn’t look good.

Troy: (up to Ollafub and Infantry on top of ramp) If you guys all wanna get physical tonight, Well then you got it! 6 man tag match, Truth Infantry versus Ruckus, Pac & Rey Mysterio later tonight.

Olaffub: (answering confidently as the infantry smiles deviantly) Not a problem, as a matter of fact Troy why a 6 man tag, How about 2 on say…..5

Troy: Alright, if you jagaloons got a death wish then fine. 5 is what you want, 5 is what you are gonna get, Ruckus, Pac & Mysterio. Now you got all of them plus, 2. The 2 being men who happen to be the greatest tag team in this industry, Taka Naka on top of that! Good luck

Blackman grabs mic from Olaffub: Troy, you are gonna look stupid at the end of the night. I guarantee it.

M2: Golden Bryce def. Vinny Testaverde

Bryce wins in dominant fashion

Human Resources Help!!!!! *Mick Foley comes out to the ring then brings out Jake Awesome and says he has to be motivated and that one loss and one occurence of him tapping out doesn't mean the world is over

*Jake Awesome responds almost confused as to why Mick has brought him here and gurantees yes indeed, he tapped out at heatwave but if given the chance to take on Slayer again. He wouldn't do it again. Jake thanks Mick for his help and Mick Foley responds claiming "I AM THE #1 JAKE AWESOME FAN!"

*Slayer with Marc Snow comes out at the end. Fine Speech Mick, Jake Awesome to these people will always be the hero. Jake Awesome will always be the champion. Regardless, of who is holding it. and here we are show #2 of the “spark is back” but where exactly is the title. He was the last champion, I made him tap even with a biased officiator. I deserve gold. Mick: Slayer, Mr. Clausen has informed me not to spill this news but I thank the fans RIGHT HERE in Irvine, California (cheap pop) need to know this information. The new XPWEW world heavyweight champion will be crowned at Anarchy Rulz. Next week, more details will be revealed Marc Snow: interrupts, Mick! more details revealed my son should have the belt! Where is it! Where is the belt! My son should have it. Mick: Marc I don’t think we’ve formally met, I do know about the urban legend. The urban legend that this crowd is chanting. Your independent persona of Nick Foley, in the 90’s where you sold counterfeit 8 x 10’s claiming you were me. I don’t hold any grudges against you I get it. You gotta put ice cream in the freezer. I know the stories. but Marc, one thing I won’t tolerate from you is the sass leaking from your quivering lip. Marc: Mick Mick: No, No for 20 years I tolerated you profiting from MY NAME, MY LEGACY, watching you maintain a living pretending to be me! A cheap version of mick foley, So how dare you call me biased. Maybe I’m taking this a little too far na maybe I’m letting my 20 years of aggression against you leak out in this trivial argument: No, don’t bow up at me it’s trivial. You still won the match. You still beat the mammoth. but how dare Marc Snow call me biased. A man who held a bias against his youngest son, a bias for your entire life (pointing at Slayer). I do’t know how you can just apologize with this snake. Marc I don’t even wanna see your face. You can call me bias, but you can’t call me an abusive father. You can’t call me a bias parent and you damn sure can’t teach me a damn thing about being without morals. I broke my body in half on every continent to provide for my family, not take all the loot and leave them for dead and then come back to my sons life twenty years later asking for a handout. I’ve lost respect for you Slayer, so yeah I had a bias against a guy that can make amends with this liar. Marc: Mick, I’m in a decent mood tonight and I’m trying so desperately not to punch you in your fat bearded face but what the hell *Jake Awesome slaps Marc Snow down to the ground and then attacks Slayer repetitively. (Slayer and Marc Snow powder out of the ring.) *Mick: Marc, I know you’ve spilt blood. but I know you haven’t spilled as much as me but tonight. I’m gonna put the Zebra stripes back on (pulls off Red flannel to unveil Zebra flannel)

Heatwave rematch tonight! Slayer vs Jake Awesome

Mick: And Marc Snow, to assure you and your baby boy aren’t a victim of bad officiating. You can wear the stripes too. Jake Awesome will NOT lose again.

Slayer: I don’t wanna wait let’s do this right now

*Guest Referees: Mick Foley & Marc Snow M3: Slayer def. Jake Awesome

so much interaction between Snow and Foley, Slayer mouths a lot to Foley throughout

Slayer def. Jake via submission yet again. Awesome taps and Foley doesn’t know how to react as he hesitates yet still raises Slayer’s hand in victory

Mick: Jake, even Michael Jordan missed a few shots, even Tom Brady lost a super bowl, Jake Awesome, I still think you are the best professional wrestler this industry has ever seen. Jake barely acknowledges Mick and just walks to the curtain looking at the ground.

M4: The McGraws def. Mondo Milk ENT *The McGraws run down the crowd praising Alex Jones to be their manager. The McGraws now dub themselves. 1776. Massive heat basically white heat from their post match promo about Obama being born in Kenya

M5: Tanahashi def. Kota Ibushi with a knee to Kota mid-air going for his shooting star press. Tanahshi sneaks the win.

*Interview: Kandi Khaos speaks with Jaques Dudley tonight on his match with Chris Johnson and Champagne Clausen and where does he stand with Troy Clausen. *Jaques says Clausen claims he’s changed, I’ll guess we’ll see

M6: Jaques def. Chris Johnson & Champagne Clausen in a three way dance Jaques pins Johnson

Troy Clausen and Joel Gertner come out clapping his hands. Jaques that was an impressive victory. What everyone here didn’t realize is what you guys just watched was a number #1 contenders match for the heavyweight title. Congrats Jaques *Clausen winks* Jaques nods unaware if he should believe Troy or not

*Backstage: Clausen walking back behind the curtain to a sweaty Slayer and Marc Snow in his hippie tye die referee shirt. What the fuck was that Clausen? Troy: What? Slayer: So Jaques beat your rookie son and that human scum Chris Johnson and he’s in the damn title chase Troy: Yeah, do you watch the show, thats what I just said. and I’m the boss and well your not. *Marc Snow grabs Gertner’s neck brace tightly choking him *Slayer gets up in Troy Clausen’s face Slayer: I don’t care if your the damn second coming. I want my title. I wanna know why I made the previous world champion. Tap out, TWICE. and I’M not the #1 contender Clausen: Fine, Slayer you are now the #2 contender. Happy? Now if you don’t mind. I’d suggest Colgate, Crest maybe. Clausen walks away Joel Gertner holding his throat coughing

*The Truth Infantry backstage are talking to referee Danny Coleman. Ollafub is up front showing him some papers backstage. Blackman and Croyle shew away our cameraman recording their locker room

In ring: Romeo Roselli: this is the heavens crown championship. Last Sunday at Heatwave I announced that I will be holding the 7 minutes in Heaven Challenge so who wants to be the lucky first challenger

*A camera man gives his camera to another staff member and takes off all his wires and hops in the ring, telling Romeo to bring it *Crowd is really into it* Romeo looking around confused. Are you a camera man? You want to be the first challenger? What is your name: My name is GG and I’ve been a camera man for XPW since this company started

M7: Romeo Roselli def. GG after the seven minute time limit expires but GG was actually in control of the match at the end of the time limit. Crowd chants GG! GG! GG!

Romeo attacks him with a fluorescent light tube in the crowd and scars his head in the audience stands Romeo: you will not embarrass me (Romeo throws GG into a trash can and pushes it down the stadium stairs Romeo: you will not make a mockery of me

(Romeo grabs his title and walks to the back)

Video Package: Joe Gacy & Kirby Lee Covington (small boy on a playground swinging on swing set) We are a disease Plagueground is coming

M8: The Truth Infantry w/ Olaffub def. TakaNaka, Rey Mysterio, Pac, and Ruckus

high spot of the match takes place when Rey Mysterio pins Croyle for a 3 count, Ruckus pins Blackman for a 3 and Taka pins Edwards for a 3 and Danny just gives them a weird look (commentary is confused, the crowd is confused chanting you fucked up, bullshit)

eventually Troy Clausen and Joel Gertner run on down, Troy calls for Danny. Olaffub eavesdrops over smiling. Danny audibly says “I’m just doing my job, doing what I’m told”. The match still awkwrdly going on at this point. Blackman rolls up Tanaka and Danny counts the 1-2-3 Clausen is like what now that 3 count applies *bell rings and your winner: The Truth Infantry (crowd is confused) Truth Infantry powders up the ramp with Olaffub jumping up and down for joy, so much in fact his pony tail comes undone. Troy: Referee Danny Coleman should not be judged for his officiating. Unlike Mick Foley he’s not a biased ref. You see this is the reaction we all wanted. I thought maybe Heatwave would be when the world would find out The Truth!!! Clausen and the opponents in the ring stare intently Olaffub: When XPWEW reformed. I went through these re-sign contracts of all my clients in deep deep detail. I noticed so many loose loop holes here and I made a few minor changes. I thought you were a legal Troy Clausen, I guess not haha I read the trades :) I adjusted the contracts of Blackman, Croyle and Eddie Edwards. That’s right I skewed just one little thing. These contracts were so loose honestly it may have took….5 minutes hahahaha (Infantry laughs in unison) My clients don’t apply to the referees count of 3. In the contracts of my clients. It says clearly and Troy you signed off on all of these. Hell, I don’t even think you read them. I probably could have gotten away with putting a little more zeros on the salaries. Honestly. Troy you are a joke. A negotiating failure. A jagaloon of jargon. Troy my clients must be pinned to the count of 5. to be beaten in that ring. and now these contracts are water tight. And if you were so clevar to just I don’t know fire us on the spot. Good luck, I’ll see you in court if you try because these contracts not only oblige my clients to be beaten with the count of 5. These are guaranteed iron clad contracts. Sealed. You and everyone have made fun of my client Steve Blackman, calling him a thing of the past, a shell of himself. Steve Blackman is more intense with age. More focused and the same applies for Edwards and Croyle as well. My men are focused and now they have the ultimate edge and you or anyone in the back can’t do a damn thing about it. We are here to capture all the gold, and were out for destruction. What Edwards did to Robbie Williams was only the prologue to the story that is THE TRUTH!!! Thnank you Thank you!

[beholdthepowerofyuri]

Characters I’d Like To See In Smash Bros

With hints of Smash Bros eventually coming to Switch, there will, of course, likely be some new characters if/when that does eventually happen. That’s what this is about. Now, keep in mind that I’m not exactly holding breath on any of this actually becoming a thing, and I won’t be going over most commonly talked-about ones like Shantae, King K Rool or Shovel Knight, though I would love to see at least one (if not all three) of them make it into the game.

Anyways, let’s get this started...

Dark Matter - Kirby Series

Okay so...I know a lot of people want Bandanna Dee, and I have absolutely nothing against that. However, Smash needs more outright villains, and Dark Matter is one of the few recurring villains in the Kirby series aside from King Dedede...and even then, Dedede is more of an antihero than an actual villain.

But I digress.

In any case, I’m admittedly a little biased here, because the so-called Dark Matter Trilogy (Kirky’s Dream Land 2, Kirby’s Dream Land 3 and Kirby 64 for those who don’t know) are easily my favorite games in the series; Kirby 64 especially, what with the ability to mix powers.

Anyway, gameplay-wise, Dark Matter will be in his “Swordsman Form” by default. And to those you I can already hear bitching and moaning about “WAH ANOTHER SWORD FIGHTER”, all I have to say is “screw you swords are cool”. That said, he’d be similar to Robin, in that he’s not purely a melee fighter.

He’d act like a combination of Meta Knight and Jigglypuff; quick, precise sword attacks for his A attacks that can quickly add up to a lot of damage, but he’d also be a bit floaty and easy to knock around. For his special, here’s what I’m picturing;

B - A chargeable attack similar to Robin’s neutral Special. He forms an orb of energy at the tip of his sword, which gets progressively larger as its formed; when the button is pressed again, he launches it. If fully charged, it changes to a black lightning bolt that travels across the screen. Like Thoron, it comes out fast and hits hard, but the charging makes it easy to predict.

Up+B - a simple rising slash attack similar to Cloud’s Braver or Marth’s Dolphin Slash. It would be a bit slower-moving however. It wouldn’t do much damage if it hits, but goes up fairly high, making it a simple-yet-reliable recovery move so long as you don’t get knocked too far away from the stage. Depending on the input once the move is activated, it can either go straight upwards or diagonally in either direction.

Side+B - Another projectile from his sword, this time a series of three light sword beams. They don’t do a lot of damage and there’s no knockback if they hit (similar to Fox’s Blaster). But they’re extremely fast, and the damage can add up very quickly if one isn’t careful.

Down+B - Dark Matter summons four orange orbs which circle around him similar to Mega Man’s Leaf Shield. They damage anyone they touch, and will block most projectiles. Additionally, inputting the command while they’re already out will allow you to launch the orbs one by one. They explode on contact with someone/something, making it possible to catch other opponents in the blast even if they aren’t directly hit by it. 

Final Smash: At first, I was picturing him summoning 0 and having it rain blood projectiles onto the field PK Starstorm-style. But after thinking about it, I decided on a Super Sonic/Mega Evolution-type transformation instead feeling as thought it would do him more justice.

Basically, he reverts to his “True Form”, trading all of his sword-based A attacks for a simple but powerful ramming attack. He can also fly around freely. In addition, while in this form, all of his specials get a buff of some kind.

His neutral B will always be the black lightning bolt without needing to charge it.

His Side+B packs more of a punch (actually having knockback if it hits) and he now fires them in all directions, shooting them one by one in a circular pattern.

His Down+B now summons six orbs, however they’re automatically launched in whatever direction Dark Matter is facing, as opposed to acting as a shield.

Meanwhile, his Up+B comes out a little faster and inflicts more damage if they hit. Also, no sword; just an upwards ramming attack. --- Muddy - Mole Mania

Okay so...admittedly, this one is a bit far fetched, though it was still technically a Nintendo game so it’s not completely out of the question. For those unfamiliar with it (since it was a rather obscure game), Mole Mania was a puzzle game made by Shigeru Miyamoto for the Game Boy, where you play as a mole named Muddy who’s set out to rescue his wife and children from an evil farmer.

The gameplay revolves around digging underground and pushing/throwing objects like iron balls and barrels around to destroy doors. It was a favorite of mine when I was little, and I’ve always thought it’d be neat if Muddy could show up in Smash Bros; though at this point, I’d be content with just an Assist Trophy.

He’d have a similar dynamic as Little Mac, in that he’d be powerful on the ground, but (as befitting a mole) absolute crap in the air. 

However, he wouldn’t be as insanely hard-hitting as Little Mac; rather he’d be incredibly tanky and harder than most other characters to send flying. That said, like with Little Mac, his recovery is crap, so if/when he does go flying, he’s more than likely screwed.

His special moves would be as followed;

B - Summons one of three items (an iron ball, a large cabbage or a barrel), which he will immediately grab; from there, he can either kick it forwards or toss it behind him. The difference between the three items is purely cosmetic, merely to serve as a nod to the various items one can throw around in the game.

Side+B - Similar to his neutral B, he summons an item, only it’s immediately placed into a pipe. As long as the B button is held down, he will be able to freely aim the attack in whatever direction he wants. Doesn’t deal as much damage as the Neutral B, but is a lot faster.

Up+B - This...is the only one I’m not entirely sure about. All I know it would be very similar to Little Mac’s; effective if it lands, but terrible for recovering.

Down+B - Muddy digs underground, then comes back up for a surprise attack. Basically the same as Greninja’s Shadow Sneak in function and execution. If used in the air, he instead performs a diving attack of some sort.

Final Smash - A giant cabbage appears, dropping from the and landing several feet in front of him. If it hits anyone as it falls, it triggers a small cutscene where his wife and seven kids burst out of said cabbage and run to glomp the hell out of Muddy, trampling the opponent(s) in the process.  --- Crono - Chrono Trigger

Yeah yeah. “BOOO ANOTHER SWORD FIGHTER” blah blah blah. Don’t care. Swords are cool. Though, this is the only other one I promise. So yeah. Chrono Trigger. Awesome game for the SNES that pretty any RPG fan is almost guaranteed to at least heard of. And for good reason, too; even now it’s widely (and rightfully so) considered one of the best RPGs period; let alone on the SNES, which gave us a lot of amazing RPGs.

So yeah. Crono. He’d be another “magic swordsman” character like Robin, with fast attacks and overall around balanced power/defense. He’d be a simple and easy to use character without any major gimmicks.

Special attacks; 

B - Lightning: a short-to-mid-range attack where he brings down a bolt of electricity in front of him. It can be charged; the longer it’s charged, the farther away it is. That’s about it, really.

Side+B - Wind Slash: a simple projectile attack similar to Cloud’s Blade Beam

Up+B - Cyclone: A spinning attack along the lines of DK’s Spinning Kong; stronger on the ground than it is in the air, and great for recovering even if you’ve been knocked far away from the stage.

Down+B - Cleave: Crono leaps into the air and slashes downward as he comes down; think ZS Samus’, but with a sword.

Final Smash - Delta Force: The attack is triggered by Chrono casting Luminare, which causes a large blast of light to appear around him. If anyone is caught in said blast, it triggers a short cutscene where Marle and Lucca appear out of nowhere, and the three of them combine their Lightning II / Fire II / Ice II spells to blast the crap out of the opponent(s). Initially, I was originally just going to put Luminaire as the FS, but when I thought about it, it felt kinda wrong not to incorporate at least one Double/Triple Tech. --- Captain Syrup - Wario Land series

First off, the game needs more sexy female characters. Second, the Wario Land series needs more love, especially with how much it’s being overshadowed by the Wario Ware series (which I have nothing against, but I still love me some Wario Land). And third, as I’ve already mentioned, the game needs more villains. So why not kill three birds with one stone?

Serving as the main antagonist in the first two Wario Land games (and a reluctant ally in the most recent one), Captain Syrup is a treasure-obsessed pirate who constantly clashes with equally-greedy Wario, and at once point even tried to steal his fortune. As for gameplay, her normal A attack wouldn’t be anything special; some general punches, kicks and whatnot.

It’s through her specials that she’d stand out; no no pirate captain is complete without her crew, thus each of them would involve summoning members of said crew. Kinda like how King Dedede could throw Waddle Dees in Brawl. But taken to the fullest extreme.

B - She throws a Pirate Goom at the opponent, which proceed to stab anyone in front of them with their spears. If they don’t hit anyone, they’ll wander around until they either do hit someone or someone hits them; otherwise they just get bored and leave after a few seconds.

Up+B - She summons her ship’s faithful guardian, Bobo, and hitches a quick ride on his back. Basically, it’d be like Pit’s Power of Flight; insane range, but no damage to the opponents and it leaves you open a bit. 

Side+B - She summons a Giant Spear Man and jumps onto it’s back. Then, said Giant Spear Man charges forward, mowing down anyone who happens to be in the way. Has a rare chance of summoning a Mecha Kuri, which is faster and hits harder.

Down+B - She summons a Dangerous Duck, which throws a large boomerang in whatever direction Syrup is facing. Has the longest range of all her attacks, and keeps going even if it hits someone. To balance it out, the damage isn’t that great, though the knockback it causes can still be great for keeping opponents away.

Final Smash - She summons the Genie (final boss from the first Wario Land game), and rides on its shoulder as it flies around and bombs the battlefield with fireballs.

------

So...yeah. That’s it for now. This post has gotten long enough as it is. Like I said, these are just something I’d like to see; not holding my breath on any of them actually becoming a thing. Feel free to comment and/or throw in your two cents, so long as you keep it civil.

Wouldn’t mind hearing what others have to say about this.

[davewakeman]

The Business Of Radio Hasn't Hit Rock Bottom...Yet!

I was reading through my Facebook page, much too early, on Saturday morning when I saw a Facebook post from a radio personality that I have had several conversations with over the years about the Cumulus CEO asking for employees to reach out to family members for help selling ads on their radio stations.

Which isn’t a bad idea.

Its just more that it is funny in the context of all of the things that have befallen the radio industry.

And, one of the commenters made a point of saying, it is easy to shoot arrows but tougher to come up with solutions.

Which got me to thinking, what would I do if my stock was cratering and my business was failing.

Here are some of my ideas for fixing the business of radio.

First, the challenges. Then, the opportunities.

Challenges:

First, radio on the whole has become saddled with too much debt.

As investors have bought radio stations, combining them into conglomerates, they have taken on unsustainable amounts of debt.

This has had the impact of meaning that radio has had to become more of a factory medium.

Which isn’t good.

This factory making of radio has caused a product where the same songs, same shows, and same POVs are played on almost every station in every market.

Why?

Because they feel safe?

One look at listenership and stock prices would tell you that that isn’t correct.

Second, consumer tastes have changed. 

With the rise of mobile technologies, consumers aren’t attached to only what is playing in their car or in their CD player (remember those?).

This change has been slow to be embraced radio because as we have stated above, radio has become a factory initiative.

Which really means that the structure of these large companies has become so big that they can’t adapt to the changes and demands of the consumers.

Couple that with the fact that many of the young adults and younger weren’t raised on radio, so they have no love or connection to the media.

Third, when you combine all of this together, it creates a very toxic environment…which has begun to look a little like this:

Due to changing consumer habits and the high amounts of debt, this has created a toxic environment in the radio industry that makes some of these things an everyday fact of life for anyone that wants to work or listen to radio.

Ad prices are too high for too little value.

There is no new talent pipeline. It is a bunch of conservative talkers and paid programming, for the most part.

The variety of music doesn’t exist. Gone are the days of DJs having personalities and breaking new songs.

The culture in many of the organizations is toxic with a Dilbert comic not being too far from the truth. Or, if you are familiar with the cartoon below, that’s the truth of radio business. Meaning that if you have other options, you don’t go there.

On the whole, I wouldn’t call radio a healthy medium. And, I wouldn’t call this a comprehensive list, but just a high level overview of the challenges that radio is dealing with.

Let’s look at where the opportunities would live, if you were so inclined to take a chance on them.

Opportunities:

Embrace the weird:

Above I wrote about the new talent challenge. And, while Rush Limbaugh is still considered a king of talk radio, podcast and streaming audio has provided listeners with a world of opportunity to experience new voices and new talent.

If you were to thumb through my podcasts and listening habits, you’d be amazed at the diversity of people and ideas that I might touch in a single week.

Here’s a short list of the regular stuff:

Tom Leykis

Fitness Confidential with Vinnie Tortorich

WTF with Marc Maron

The Tao of Sports with Troy Kirby

HBR podcast from Harvard Business Review

The Big Podcast With Shaq

What do you see there?

A wide variety and something that likely is unique in a great many ways.

In other words, its a weird list.

I’m not stuck on the Limbaugh/Hannity train.

I’m not on the train of only listening to political talk.

No morning zoo.

No all day sports talk.

Just a bunch of different, interesting voices that have unique voices and tell great stories.

What radio needs to do is embrace talent again. Howard Stern famously went to satellite radio so that he wouldn’t be restrained by his bosses on terrestrial radio. And, since he left, the flood of talent looking for other places to ply their trade has only quickened.

Tom Leykis has gone to open up ocean front property by taking his show to the web, where you can stream it 24/7 and hear him live daily.

Podcasts are the same deal. Adam Carolla has built a podcast empire with what seems like 50 different shows.

What all of these examples have in common is that they have specific POVs, they have audiences that don’t fit into one simple silo, and now that they have used the web they have audiences that are global.

But most important, they are talent and talent development would need to be at the forefront of any resurgence of radio.

Rethink the distribution model: 

For so long, radio has been built on one model.

The host has a spot on the dial for a set time, each day or each week. The host goes live and tells stories that will drive callers to call.

Callers talk to the host and that’s it.

But let’s think about this, the number of call-in show hosts that are really, really phenomenal at that is small. Very, very small.

I’d put Tom Leykis in the category of experts at using callers to drive shows.

Adam Carolla uses calls on his podcast to set him up from time to time.

Sure, some of the right wing talkers are good at using their callers to initiate their rants, but the bulk of talkers aren’t necessarily the greatest at engaging callers.

They may be great storytellers.

They may be great interviewers.

Embrace those attributes.

Because if you free your talent up from doing call-in shows just because that’s how it has always been done, you can get better content.

Imagine how many hoops you have to jump through to get people into your studio or onto your shows at the right time.

What if you just taped more things? Distributed them in a different manner?

Maybe part of the interview goes on the radio?

Maybe part of the interview is behind a paywall?

Maybe part of the interview is available to email subscribers?

Maybe you can stream stuff live through your website, unedited?

The thing is that today’s consumers aren’t fixated on where the content comes from, they are just consumed by the content.

And, the thing is, you have to really give it to them in the places that they are willing to hear it or where it is best for them.

Not where it is best for you.

Because if you only do what is best for you, the consumer is going to go somewhere else.

Maximize the use of live & immediate:

Let’s be clear, there are still moments and times where radio and audio surpasses everything.

Think about how vivid a picture Vin Scully would paint of a Dodgers’ game.

Maybe you are a bigger runner or cycler and a big baseball or news fan, these things are prime points of contact.

There are just some things that need to be live to be best.

Major news events are prime points.

Major sporting events, again…prime points.

Maybe build up a once in a lifetime live interview like Howard Stern did with Madonna. (And, I get it, that’s really once in a lifetime, but you get the point.)

The thing about it is, use live and immediate to your advantage.

As consumers have shown, they don’t care about everything being live if it is awesome!

They do care about things that are awesome!

So don’t be wed to always needing to be live, unless live and immediate is the unique selling advantage that will get you in front of your audience…then do it.

To recap, here are 3 big areas that radio should look at if they want to have a chance:

Embrace the weird: Mass is over and you need to give consumers a variety of talent. Podcasts prove that people love talk content, they just don’t love radios. 

Rethink your distribution: You can’t get by just pumping sounds out over the air. You have to use all of the distribution channels at your disposal to hook listeners. In truth, this could be a selling point to gain you listeners and dollars. 

Use live and immediate to your advantage, not just as a fall back. Listeners don’t care about live and immediate any more. They just want great! Sometimes great comes due to being live and immediate. 

If you do this, you are going to have a better opportunity to make money.

See, the era of mass market marketing and consuming is over. Which means that just pumping out lowest common denominator content, ads, and personalities isn’t a sustainable model.

Until radio gets back into the business of producing must listen content on many distribution channels, they money is going to continue to dry up and it is going to happen faster and faster.

So the only hope for radio is actually just to start focusing on doing things that are great again…that means authentic and personal content with real personalities that can’t and won’t appeal to everyone.

Other than that, good luck because you are going to be fighting the winds of change sweeping many industries.

    Please follow and like us:

var addthis_config = { url: "http://davewakeman.com/2017/03/business-radio-hasnt-hit-rock-bottom-yet/", title: "The Business Of Radio Hasn’t Hit Rock Bottom…Yet!" }

The Business Of Radio Hasn’t Hit Rock Bottom…Yet! was originally published on Wakeman Consulting Group