#the stanley parable is a game about choice. and how you have no real choice in life

[dexabite]

one thing that i kind of don't like about the tsp fandom is that it... well, fandomizes the stanley parable. most focus on the shipping aspect of the story instead of what the media is actually trying to tell the audience, and i think that is TRAGIC

[chaoticgoodthief]

More STP Thoughts

So I did this thing earlier but now I'm thinking... There's games that the voices would play... but then there's something else that I can't stop thinking about. What would be the most interesting game characters for the voices to be? Say that after the Construct shatters, they're all thrown into being their own Player Character of different games.

Contrarian is probably the easiest in my mind. Stanley from The Stanley Parable, same as he would probably enjoy playing. It's a game in which he is in a constant loop of disobeying the whims of an angry British Narrator with a capital N who has very strong opinions on what the correct path is. And would be fun to try pull him out of there, because I'd bet my life savings that the Narrator would guilt-trip him about it. And *eyes my TSP ships* it might get a bit... awkward.

Opportunist, a voice that I didn't have any clue what to do with before but now have the perfect idea. Lamb from Cult of the Lamb. Manipulative, obeying a higher deity but ultimately self-serving, made a deal in exchange for his own freedom only to (potentially) disobey when his own life is at stake. Originally was planning for Broken in this role because of the whole Priest to a cruel god, but Opportunist just works better. A really inflated ego from defeating and enslaving a god plus things turning out extremely beneficial to him will make he really hard to convince to leave.

Cold... well, there are multiple options here. I'm not going with Flowey because I think he just doesn't have it in him to be that chirpy, even as an act. Although that would be funny for the other voices to deal with... Instead, I'm going to go with Batter from OFF. It's not as big of a game as the others, but I really think it works. Think Genocide Route Frisk, but there's no other choice but to kill everything. Wipe the world of any life at all, do whatever it takes to complete his task, no matter who has to die to achieve it. Getting him to stop trying to "purify" the voices for long enough to listen to them would be one of the hardest parts, but at least he can't attack during dialogue.

Paranoid is another one that I didn't really have any ideas on until lately. But now I have the Doorman from That's Not My Neighbor. Sure, there's a bit of a more Skeptic role with the whole question them until they reveal the truth, but I think it still works. I mean the whole Nightmares and distrust of what's real and what's fake... it was a tough choice but ultimately Paranoid works a bit better in a horror setting than Skeptic. And getting him out of there. Oh, I don't even know how the other voices will drag him out of his safe little office.

Smitten... Oh, Smitten I'm so sorry. The unnamed protagonist of Doki Doki Literature Club! Has good intentions (just falling in love with a girl), believes he's in a romance story until too late. I wouldn't be surprised if this scars him for life. I'm not sure if he would even make it to the end before breaking down completely. He doesn't even have Cold to do all the emotional repression for him. Even if he is probably the easiest to convince into leaving, getting him to even be responsive again would probably be a struggle.

Hero would probably be the one having to convince to others to leave, to be honest. Sorry buddy. Someone has to do it and I'm afraid you are just the best fit for the role. At least LQ might be there to help you. Might.

I'm not really familiar with any games that work well for the other voices so please let me know your thoughts if you have any ideas! The more painful the better 😈

Edit 1 (suggestion from an anon ask):

Broken as the protagonist from Do Not Take This Cat Home. Gosh, this was so perfect. The game is literally a metaphor for abusive relationships, he's trapped in a endless loop repeatedly meeting his abuser and dying by their whims. He's lonely, desperate, and just wanting a companion and to make that companion happy with him. Please take him out. He's going need to be dragged kicking and screaming because he is very likely not going to be able to get the good ending by himself.

Edit 2 (Another anon suggestion 😈):

Cheated as the player in Buckshot Roulette. Wow. A lot of the voices work really well in other indie horror games and Cheated is no different. There is nothing but the game. A Russian roulette game with multiple twists and changes, but at the end of the day that same back and forth of each one trying to win. Back and forth and back and forth. Trying to use new tricks to win the same game. One of them has to die. But no matter who does, neither truly wins. Will he even want to leave until the game is "over"? Probably not. Please drag him out, he's going mad trying to win a loser's game. I love this.

Edit 3 (More anon suggestions yay!!!):

Hunted as the Slugcat from Rain World. Literally trapped in an endless circle of death and rebirth, escaping getting eaten, killed by the elements, or starving to death. I've said about every single suggestion, but I honestly think this fits extremely well. There are even little changes to the story you can make dependent on which path you chose! (Monk, Survivor, Hunter). Will also probably attack whoever tries pull him out because cat > bird and I think that's funny so that's also a win :D

Edit 4 (Suggestion from @gallus-mundus):

Skeptic as the player from Exit 8. Hahahaha wow almost none of the voices actually left the horror genre, did they? But YES. This works so well for him. Sure, the deductions are very limited, but it's not really like he did that many in the game to be honest. His chronic overthinker ass is not beating the game (read: chaining yourself to the wall, you absolute dumbass). There's a time limit, even if he does manage to figure out the trick to escaping I really don't think he is going to make it out alone. At least he should be reasonably easy to convince to leave compared to the rest...

Edit 5

Stubborn as V1 from Ultrakill. Finally, another voice that escape the horror genre! Not a perfect fit, but pretty neat in my humble opinion. Literally running on bloodshed, a sense of duty/purpose to fight, but often also characterised as someone that enjoys the fight itself. And... *Side-eyes at Gabriel/V1* yeah, that type of relationship looks... familiar. Good luck getting him out of there, he's discovered the wonderous world of modern weaponry. (Alternatively, if he's taken out at the end of the game... yeah probably not in that good of an emotional state either.)

WOOOO YEAH FINALLY DONE!!! THANK YOU ALL FOR YOUR HELP!!!

[catsafarithewriter]

Day 2: Library/Museum

Welcome to Ghibli Gardens You play as Baron, a librarian/museum curator in the sleepy little village of Ghibli Gardens. Life is predictable and routine, until a new farmer, Haru, moves in. Haru is different, in ways you cannot quite explain. She's spontaneous. Unpredictable. She's a jack of all trades, while everyone else keeps to their own hobbies - a farmer, a miner, a crafter, an adventurer - and somehow, there's something just that little bit more real about her. She's a mystery, and you're as curious as a cat.

It. Is. Done!

This is... something new, but something that I've wanted to try for a long time. Perhaps not this exact story, but I've certainly wanted to try creating a tcr narrative using a "Choose Your Own Adventure" format.

So: this is a text-based interactive story, but is very linear (there's only one ending) with a Stardew Valley meets the Stanley Parable vibe. Before you dive in, some things to note:

I haven't had a chance to troubleshoot it all the way through, but all the connections seem sound. That said, if you hit a real error (not just a scene masquerading as one) let me know, and I'll do my best to figure out the problem. This is my first attempt at sharing a cyoa story, so it'll be a miracle if the only errors are the occasional typo

At certain points, you will likely encounter an "error" page that requests you to "refresh." DO NOT REFRESH the page, but press the text choice for "refresh." Refreshing your browser will likely lose all progress

At certain points you may encounter a variation of "Warning: Starting a new file will override all previous data" - this again is an intended warning. Press continue

Given that this has elements of the Stanley Parable, this is not a fluffy romance piece. There will be (or should be!) a sense of eeriness to it, and the "narrator" will attempt to gaslight Baron. If that will distress you, please skip this game.

I don't know how long this will take to play, and I have no way of finding the word count. For reference, this is the scene graph.

If you do play this and enjoy it, let me know!

I'm retiring to bed now (only just succeeded for today!) so any game-breaking errors will not be fixed until tomorrow. I hope this was worth the wait!

[overdicebro]

Slay the Princess is a masterpiece, we already experienced the full game and walked endless playthroughs just to see how many changed and how many did not. Stp as the complete game is beautiful enough but I think we need to talk about the demo too, in the demo not much was revealed except the complete chapter 1s and a glimpse of the chapter 2 so we only get to just conjure some thoughts about the game's plot with what the game has, idk but I've been watching the game's demo since on Manlybadasshero's channel so yeah it was my introduction to the game.

So I've been rewatching the demo videos and I think there's something interesting about our assumptions before and how they differ in the full game, but even with our assumptions it still can be true since that's the games nature. Before I remember that many people believed that the narrator was the one who pulled all the strings and the narrator is bigger than both TLQ & TSM, some already caught on the main plot of the game but there were many comments discussing theories about the game is essentially just a "what if?" alternate version of Knights & Princess games, and how it's an edgy and more darker version of Stanley Parable etc. with the narrator gaslighting you and stuff. But the main thing is that the narrator was a BIG direction of the game and it's mystique led as to believe as such.

And I'm always emphasizing that one Nightmare Scene where she took off her mask is what made ME to believe that there could be a backstory to this. But there isn't, there wasn't people that could back up the background of the Princess, there aren't animals found in the world(construct), there were no birds but trees, there wasn't a story of the Princess that could back her up that she's HUMAN or even a real princess at that. Because she isn't a princess or THE princess, she's the Shifting Mound titled as a princess. (Quick Tangent here: I think the Narrator could have made TSM into something else rather than a princess, he could have made her a seamstress as he likes; maybe the Narrator just doesn't like royalty)

Especially TLQ, it's already given that he isn't human but his voices and his choices morale make him seem human a little. Many people in the comments actually thought TLQ was made to be a bird-like creature to be diverse to its players. There aren't exactly hints at the demo that we are a god and the half of TSM because the focus was centered on the Princess, even he has no backstory, no background, no nothing.

It was obvious that the 2 didn't really have a life except the plot device of TLQ slaying the Princess. So that should've been a big sign to ME atleast that I shouldn't expect a backstory or something to make things less vague. I thought in the complete game we will be given more hints about the 2(+narrator) and expand more on the personal things.

But no, in the full game we were given answers to our previous questions but were also given more. The “world” was just a construct representing many more worlds to be devoid of change. That's why there weren't many living beings surrounding the Construct, just Shifty & Gary (+ the trees). Because the Narrator wanted a scripted situation to happen in order to release his tension regarding death.

So basically the Narrator is actually the only one with an ACTUAL backstory, yet his story and where he come from isn't expanded more because, again, the game is centered around the two TLQ & TSM. 2 Gods and concepts reuniting again after being separated by a desperate man with a fear of death.

So again BASICALLY what my assumptions of how the Narrator was BIGGER than the two. He is actually smaller than the CONCEPTS of Permanence and Change. He tried to desperately remove death from the universe which is actually badass af by splitting the pair and making the other kill the other.

It just hurts my brain to think that the plot I subconsciously made was so drastically different compared to the final game. Yet it's satisfying at the same time, cause tbh I was expecting for there to be boss fight with the Narrator and finally breaking out of the artificial plot, instead we got an argument with Shifty and finally breaking out the artificial plot. Which is essentially the same thing just a WHOLE different execution of what I thought.

Thank you for listening to my ted talk

THIS SHI LONG ASFF bro I should go to sleep goodnight peeps

[excalibutt]

Pathologic Fan Essay: Metatextuality and the Blurring of the Barrier Between Protagonist and Player in Pathologic Fanfiction

Spoiler warning: If you intend to play Pathologic Classic HD or Pathologic 2 and do not want your experience to be spoiled, come back to this essay after you’ve done your playthroughs. This is a spoiler-heavy essay.

When it comes to games that stick with us enough to consume our thoughts and compel us to make, nothing I have played has ever held a candle to what Pathologic does. It’s a game with a brutal story, viscerally and intentionally painful gameplay, and one that pushes boundaries in a way I’ve never seen another game do as artfully as this does. I’ve been thinking about it nonstop for the past four years, and I can honestly say that it’s fundamentally changed me as a person, and how I regard myself. The effect that Pathologic has is that it pushes us to make hard creative choices about what we make that is inspired by it, because of its inherently compelling and philosophical nature.

One of the things that makes the Pathologic game series so absolutely resonant with its players and fans are the metatextual elements that are introduced to the player. These are elements that serve to remind the player that they are in fact; playing a video game, and not actually fighting for survival in a plague-decimated utopian steppe-settlement. These themes and reminders are more overt in Classic than they are in 2, but that doesn’t make them any less present between the two games. We’ll be talking about the nature of the game itself and how it sits in the world of games that integrate metacommentary, and the philosophical impact that it has on fanworks. The influence of these themes resonates outward through everything the fans make, in ways we might not even initially be aware of. 

I. THE NATURE OF THE GAME

There are three distinct layers of plot (literal and metatextual) across Pathologic Classic and Pathologic 2. Those layers are: The Literal Level, The Powers That Be Level, and the Theater Level.

1. The Literal Level—This is where the plot, setting, and characters breathe and live. They are just as real as you and me. Most games operate solely within this level. 

2. The Powers That Be Level—This is the level in which the characters you play learn themselves that this is a game. The world is not real, it was designed by someone else, and they may not even be in control of themselves. Many famously meta-aware games operate within this level. 

3. The Theater Level—This is the level in which you, as the player, are forced to choose if You are in the game, or if you are not. This is where you are forced to confront whether or not there are lines that divide you from a player character, or not. When you act as a Healer, are their words yours? Are their actions yours? Or are they theirs? Are you a ghost or little voice sitting over their shoulder, gently guiding them where you think they ought to go? Are you watching this performance, or acting in it? Or are you, philosophically speaking, in that moment, the Character you are inhabiting? Or are they you?

Games that are famous for their metatextual themes feature a moment in which the unreality of a game is thrown directly into your face: (Undertale, Doki Doki Literature Club, The Stanley Parable.) There is no doubt that the first realization that characters are self-aware of their fictionality is a deeply impactful moment for players who are experiencing these titles for the first time. However, the impact on players tends to wear off after that first moment. It never hits as hard as it did the first time. You accept the unreality as an element, and you move on. I largely credit most of the reason for this being that you, the player, experience more separation from the character you are playing as, and the character most impacted and shaken by being confronted by unreality is not usually the character you play as. 

Here are a few examples of this disconnect from the games I listed above:

1. In Undertale, Frisk and Chara are very blank slates, not themselves submitted to a crisis of reality. They serve purely as player avatars. They never speak to you or express any sort of personality influenced by you beyond silent, but determined action through the Underground. Through them, you watch the aftermath of Flowey the Flower/Prince Asriel’s crisis instead, who is aware of and driven into a sort of numb insanity by living by the rules of a game.  While this pain elicits compassion, Frisk/Chara is not directly experiencing anguish followed by numbness and disillusionment. You as the player are also not actually experiencing these things. You’re watching it happen to Flowey/Asriel instead, and are impacted from the outside looking in.   

2. Doki Doki Literature Club features a side-character in a cliched visual-novel romance game named Monika who Knows You Are Real, and not just the text on the screen that you play as. (In the Literal Level of this game, you are a faceless boy but your physical presence is mostly just text on a screen. You barely even get so much as a real avatar.) Monika is confronted with and burdened with the knowledge of her own unreality, and she begins to warp the game itself. Her anguish and pain elicits both real fear and real pity, but your reality remains the same. You were never in this world to begin with, and the fact that she cannot leave it hurts her more than it hurts you, the player.  So much so, that by the end; she’s deleted it all. She is also still not the playable character. You witness the crisis from the outside in. 

3. The Stanley Parable never once pretends to not be a video game, and is arguably only really effective as an art piece if you’re familiar with choice-based story genres. Stanley remains another blank slate, and not an established character; despite the Narrator’s constant attempts to develop you as one. Stanley is a very generic white man in business-casual attire made in Gary’s Mod, but most of the time, you don’t even see him. The narrative of it being a choice-based video game is never forgotten, and if any crises happen; it is via the will of the Narrator or the Narrator himself having said crisis. The running joke of the Stanley Parable is that you and the Narrator both are choosing to pretend that you are a man named Stanley, despite the fact that you both know better. But the fact is, it’s a much better story when you play along. By the end of it, you sort of do start to become him. 

The characters in these titles that you play as are totally blank slates. This is a popular choice for game developers because it’s much easier, in theory, to pretend it’s you. That is a legacy that arguably began with the creation of The Legend of Zelda games; and the reason for the famously mute protagonist’s namesake: Link (being a metaphorical link between the player and the world of the game)  

It’s enticing to put on a blank mask, because reality blurs and you really become a hero, a lost little kid, a romantic ideal, or a horrible little man named Stanley, harassing some poor incorporeal narrator by your contrary and experimental nature. But Stanley as a protagonist isn’t canonically horrible, or mischievous, or contrary. Frisk or Chara are not really kindhearted or genocidal, and assigning personality to the protagonist of Doki Doki literature club beyond ‘vaguely lazy’ is a little pointless because it was never about him in the first place, so you can genuinely transpose much of yourself onto him. These are all potential paths and personalities we as players can impress upon our character as we play. 

In Pathologic, however, the lines between Player and Protagonist blur and fade. The very nature of the game dictates that you have three choices of Protagonist; and if you are playing as one—You will be interfacing with the other two inevitably during your playthrough. What this means is that Ice Pick Lodge had to develop actual personalities for these characters that flavor your dialogue options, your actions, and the way you see and interact with the world through their eyes. What makes these characters so damn interesting to us, is that they are fully-fleshed out, individual people, and we are being given the opportunity to step into their shoes, and become them. 

They aren’t blank slates. They’re fully developed characters who have their own motivations, flaws, challenges, prejudices, and desires. What Ice Pick Lodge has done here, is they have genuinely made us become Actors. We have a range of things we can say and do, but we will always be rigidly in-character when we do them. That is why and how the Theater Layer exists metatextuality. Pathologic is not the only game series that does this, but it’s the only one that has stuck with me and made me lose sleep. Mostly, because the games that tend to have more established protagonists usually exclude them from realizing this is all fictional, and that they aren’t real. One strong example of this is Dragon Age 2. Hawke (your player character) never comes to the realization that none of this is real, but you still step into them as an established role, with a malleable but canon personality. Choice in other RPGs when it comes to dialogue are still designed to be very vague and open, so it feels like you are making the choice, and not them. Wheras other games that feature characters with strong personalities feel more like you’re watching their story play out, rather than having agency within them. (The Silent Hill games, for example.) 

The canonical impact and delivery of the fact of Unreality for the protagonists we play as in Pathologic becomes a deeply personal and painful thing. Every time I play Pathologic, I know that there will be a metatextual reveal directly to the protagonist about the nature of the world they are in and who they fundamentally are. And it still hits like a fucking hammer when it happens. The first time I finished the Bachelor’s Route in Pathologic Classic, I laid awake for hours after the fact, because I ached with empathy for the plight and pain of Daniil Dankovsky. I realized not only that I cared for him as a character; but I was smarting from the loss of connection to him. My time being Bachelor Dankovsky was done, and he was left with… nothing. The word was no longer real, and it wasn’t wholly him participating in it in the first place. It broke him to realize that he had no agency or free will. It broke me to realize I had to let him go, and be myself again, for all I was left with after I was disentangled. 

There is a really beautiful quote in Pathologic Classic that is recited time and time again by fanfiction authors, and the quote is spoken by Dankovsky himself, which is in reaction to him meeting Artemy Burakh, the Haruspex, when you are playing the Haruspex route. That quote is: “Far be it from me to call myself a person of mystical inclinations. However, when I look at you, I get the feeling that nature is playing jokes on us. It’s as if both the left hand and the right hand have clutched the head to realize for the first time that they are two parts of a single whole.” 

Many authors chose to interpret this as a declaration of love, or recognition of another half of himself in Artemy Burakh, (and I am certainly not above this) but metatextually speaking; it’s as if he recognizes you, the player, hiding inside of The Haruspex, and having come to find him again. In theory, if you have played as The Bachelor before The Haruspex, then… yes. He should recognize you, and as a result, in this route, he is indispensable in aiding you, which he does until narrative forces him to stop. To this day, it’s one of the most rewarding and comforting things I have experienced in a game this brutal. Even starting a route as painful as the Haruspex’s, I felt like I had a true friend. I felt like I knew Daniil, and like I was in a sense—coming home. He and Artemy are the hands, but you, the player, are the head. It’s a poetic thought about how we visualize space and are limited by only being able to perceive three-dimensions. A two dimensional-creature would perceive you as only the flat bottoms of your feet, and never understand the connection that roots them in space they can’t comprehend and don’t exist within. 

 II. PHILOSOPHICAL IMPACT ON FANWORKS

Aside from my lost sleep just thinking about this damn game, I’ve also become a fanfiction author for it. I’ve spent a lot of time in this creative community which is a booming space for some of the most thought-provoking and emotionally haunting art and literature I have ever seen in a fan-space. This game elicits so much thought and love, and people are left with so much more of it to give. A lot of this is owed to the emotionally harrowing and gut-wrenchingly good plot that exists on the Literal Level of the game, we can’t deny that. The characters are fascinating, the setting is insanely captivating, and the plot is so impactful that you never forget it. Part of me would honestly joke that my favorite book is Pathologic because of how much reading you need to do, but it’s all worth reading. 

What’s so amazing about the metatextual elements that are introduced into the game, is that they add to the experience instead of making you cringe or laugh or experience guilt for playing the game. Games like Undertale (while poignant and incredible) suggest that the only way to free characters in a video game from their purgatory is not to play it at all. As a result, the replayability of the game is somewhat ruined. I can never play Undertale again because I cannot under any circumstances ruin the happiness of characters I worked so hard for, or be made responsible for it. I can get some kicks from making someone else play it though and watch them then experience the same moral problem. 

Pathologic 2, though, suggests this line of thought, but it’s still beckoning you back. You are invited to look and gawk at the spectacle, and worse; take part in it. It’s a deeply seductive disaster, even if you’re told again and again that your participation is what jumpstarts the plague. 

In fact, it’s so seductive that a creative fanbase were compelled play with this space more, and start writing fanfiction for it. But what is interesting about the choices authors are making when drafting stories, is that they have to make a choice about what Layer of Metatextual Reality their story is going to exist on.

There are the three choices to be made from the layers I mentioned above, (Literal, Powers that Be, and Theater) and the deeper you go, the more you have to incorporate. I am friends with a handful of authors, (on top of being one myself) and I’ve found that people feel very strongly about which Layer their work is going to operate in. We all have opinions about it, because the reality you choose will influence the direction of your work. 

The biggest opinion camps are: 

a) Those who avoid the metatextual content of the game. They exist very happily on the Literal Layer of plot, and when manipulating the rules of said layer; do not address the theme of unreality. This isn’t a fault, by any means, because some of the most deeply creative and heart-wrenching fan content operates in this level, much like the plot of the game itself. It’s fertile ground to grow a story in just because of how dense the Literal layer actually is. This is a deliberate choice, not usually based in fear of not doing it justice. The game itself gives you the option to declare yourself part of this world or not. These authors have chosen largely to do that; and breathe life into the characters as they are. 

I spoke to a fellow author (inkpot_demigod) who thrives and is compelled by this Literal Layer of plot, asking why it draws them in so much. 

“[...] our stories are an act of both self-preservation and defiance. They are a reason to live, and to do so better. If the big twist is that a story isn't real, and is worthless to those with more power than the people living it...well, that's hardly a twist at all. I know that. What's important is how a story compels us to live anyways.

In that sense, I still believe a twist like Pathologic's has a lot of value. It's worth asking what is worth living for if the only importance we have is that which we construct for ourselves. But it is a twist I don't always feel like contending with, as a resident of unkind reality, and an obliterating one besides—one that can easily make every other question raised by a story seem insignificant in comparison […] there are so many things I want to explore in this world, with these characters, aside from those most existentially urgent questions. So when I am doing so, it seems best to simply not approach the question of 'what meaning does life hold for a doll?' at all.”

Then of course: 

b) Those who confront the metatextual content of the game. They tend to operate more on The Powers that Be Layer and (a very little bit) of the Theater Layer. They cannot unsee the shattered reality of the town, and involve the element of unreality in their work. This can create some insanely creative twists and turns and even unusual or uncommon elements that get incorporated into plot and dialogue. This is equally fertile ground for creativity and mind-boggling discussion as well as deeply tragic, human stories. These characters are still treated as human, but who struggle with faith in the world they operate in. It’s painful and somewhat nihilistic, but the stories also tend to circle back on how to deal with that struggle. 

c) Those who make their work on the Theater Layer though, face a very unique challenge because this is the layer that you, the player, writer, or reader are invited to step into. How exactly do you do that in fanfiction?  Historically, in Ye Olde Days of fanfiction.net in the early 2000’s, it was common for people to include script-style commentary between the author and characters. Pathologic as a game does this but it’s also insanely hard for people in fandom to shake the collective memory of this appearing in crackfics and in old Potterotica. Executing a plot element in the Theater Layer is not easy to do without it feeling instinctively cringy or falling flat, but it is possible to do well. If this game has convinced me of anything, it’s that we can do miracles—and the miracles are truly impactful, powerful pieces that push you to become more than you are. 

Think about all of that for a moment. 

Think about how there are Three Metatextual layers in which the authors must choose for their story to operate within, and think for a moment, about how three is a very important, recurring number in Pathologic. There is another choice between three things the player must choose at the beginning of Pathologic Classic; which is which protagonist you will be playing as. 

The theory suggested here, in observances of the Pathologic fan-space, is that the choice of metatextual Layer in which the author chooses to operate on is parallel to the choice of Healer you play as. Each healer has their own philosophies, their own way of walking through the world, their own way of perceiving their world, and their own comfort-levels confronting the metatextual nature of said world. When confronted with their unreal nature, The Haruspex exists in the Literal Layer of the world, The Bachelor exists in the Powers That Be Layer of the world, and the Changeling exists in the Theater layer of the world. 

The Haruspex, Artemy Burakh, tries very hard to forget that the world he lives in isn't real. He tries very hard to see the life in it again despite being confronted with the fact that it is not. He chooses the fictional layer as the one to cling to and stay within, because he embraces the town as his own body. If the town and world around them isn’t real, then he isn’t real. He recognizes that it isn’t, but to him, it’s much like accepting you're going to die one day. It's an unpleasant reminder, but an easy thought to repress as Artemy. It is a fact, but it's one that's easy to ignore. Life goes on, because the pain and anguish you feel is real enough. One is encouraged to stubbornly forget or repress the unreality, and focus on their feet on the ground. Philosophically speaking, we can quickly reference the rationalist, Rene Descartes: “I think, therefore I am.” It’s a philosophy that suits him well, because everything to him is the relationship of the physical body. It’s a story steeped in blood, and rich with life and it’s many horrors. 

Taking the approach of the Haruspex when it comes to writing fiction means intimately understanding the literal layer of this world and loving it wholly and for as long as you can. It means swallowing your fear, and pressing on, staunchly ignoring the unreality that terrifies you for the sake of Life.

The Bachelor, Daniil Dankovsky, can't forget that the world isn't real. It's scarred him forever and he can't unsee it. The foundation of his character is that he has the noble and impossible goal of trying to end death (or at least give people a choice to opt-in to their conscious and physical existence ending) and this shattering of his reality is a reminder that inevitability by nature cannot be fought. It’s inevitable. The world being unreal means that death can never be defeated, because life as a whole was always an illusion. This world was always fictional and it always aches for you and him both to remember it. His canonical ending choices in Pathologic Classic feel nihilistic. It doesn’t feel like a victory. Victory isn’t real. Everything is predetermined: This fact cannot be ignored. Daniil makes the philosophical journey from a utilitarian to a nihilist. His story is about making hard and painful decisions based on hopefully reaching an ideal conclusion; or a utopia where all the sacrifices would be worth the minimal loss. But none of it is; because none of it is real. 

Taking the approach of the Bachelor when it comes to writing fiction means confronting the jarring and unpleasant experience of shattered reality, and then learning how to utilize and execute them for great and terrible impact.

I don’t necessarily believe that these observances are rules that are set in stone, but the parallel hit me hard when I noticed it. “Reality” as a concept in this game for these protagonists is irrevocably interlinked with their unique philosophies and their relationships to death. I think we as authors fall into these patterns because those are the kinds of questions these games prompt us to confront and think about. Somewhere out there, someone has just discovered Pathologic, and has found themselves with an excess of creative energy and desperately needs to make it manifest. If they’re a writer, then we know one of the ways it will happen, because after experiencing these games, you can’t unsee what you’ve seen, or unread what you’ve read. You can choose what to focus on or what to repress, but pieces of it will stick with you forever.

The Changeling, Clara, is ironically the least experienced, but knows and remembers on some gut level from the beginning that the world isn't real, and yet it is. She exists as a paradox, simply because the paradoxical nature of this world does. She has the power on the Literal level of the world to look right through you, and into you once she has her hooks in. Her revelation about the reality of the Literal Layer and the Powers That Be layer comes days sooner than it does for the Haruspex or Bachelor. Ironically, she’s also far younger than them, being only 12 days old by the end of the game. She isn’t as damaged by the unreality of the situation; because she is the unreality, having sprung up out of the ground out of nowhere. (EDIT 1: 09/04/2023 She also is too young to have formed any other attachment to a diffetent reality, which is why I think she takes this in stride.) The metatextual issues happening on the layers closer to our reality have influence on who she is, which is why there are two of her: The Powers That Be can’t agree on who she is. (EDIT 2: 09/04/2023 This part of the game is also arguably a part of us by this point because you have to have beaten at least one other route to play hers. That means you have to understand and know the town, the game, and all of the spoilers by this point. There are two Claras because we ourselves have stolen her face and fate to become part of the game.) She is paradoxically both an adult and a child at the same time, just as she is paradoxically both the harbinger of the disease and the saint to heal everyone of it, as well as paradoxically both NPC and Player Character at once. She exists as a vaccine does, teaching the body to fight something that looks exactly like her. Philosophically speaking, Clara is almost a metaphysical solipsist—in which only the self is real and everything else is a game. But then again... so are we when we play her.

Taking the approach of the Changeling when it comes to writing fiction means taking joy and freedom in the fact that it is fiction. This could be the realm of crackfic, which we as a fandom have very little of because of how seriously we take ourselves. But it also might more seriously be sneaking in meta layers after a larger story,  luring readers into a sense of false security before hitting them every bit as hard as the game does. Or it could even be integrating things that aren’t traditional writing mediums at all; like interactive pieces that make the story a game once again. (EDIT 3: 09/04/2023 I think that a truly successful fic that takes the Changeling's approach is one that manages to create metacommentary about the medium the story is being told in, just as the game does. What are the rules and tropes of fanfiction? How do we draw attention to them and subvert them? How does they become part of us? How are we part of it?)

The divisive nature of how authors tend to choose how to write for this game was put beautifully by my coauthor, permian-tropos:

“I can’t say concisely why Pathologic’s metacommentary works for me and feels deep compared to some games that ruin their fun in similar fashion. But I think it’s because the game is about the dread of realizing the utter illusion of free will (which is why the meta-reveals are necessary, you are shown to be a doll or an actor, the story is predetermined.) And then where art comes into it is like…maybe art is the answer to feeling like everything is meaningless. Whether that’s children playing a game to cope with loss, or a stage production put on by a weirdo who wants you to become your character to defy death. And maybe art is the answer to: ‘What would humans do if they could defy all of their limits?”

That’s why we write. Our work as budding authors and (and ex-actors) is impacted and influenced by great love and great resonance with a story so much greater and so much bigger than it seems to be. I think we’re falling into these patterns and feel as strongly as we do about writing them in the way that we are because we feel things when we are confronted with unreality while we’re acting as protagonists. The sharpness of the knife that cuts us from the characters we play influences what happens next. Do we hate the knife enough to try and forget it? Do we try to seize the knife to point it at someone else? Or do we see ourselves reflected there in the blade and find ourselves both frightened and inspired at the same time?

What I do know is that my love for this story comes because it pushes boundaries. It is so much more than we think it will be, unfolding, folding onto itself. It forces us to ask ourselves if we too, can become more than we think we are. One could even argue that this is why so many western fans of the game are nonbinary or transgender, or read certain characters as such. If we are more than just the body we inhabit, then what other limitations can we transcend? 

MARK IMMORTELL: People overcome death by pushing the limits of self-understanding. Such as the limits that make a person perceive themselves as a body, instead of a sum of knowledge connected through unique associations. Consider yourself as being more like a kaleidoscope, and your life will become... not compelling, exactly, but... more.

[shinakazami1]

TSP theory: The Narrator is (a part of) The Mind Control

Already, the point of this theory post is spoiled. No build-up, no anything. But that's how it got to be too - I woke up today and instantly thought about it.

Now, why would anyone do such a thing? Mind control with a mind control plot? Wouldn't it be counterintuitive to make subjects conscious of it?

No. Not at all.

You see - the Mind Control Facility is said to be offline already in the opening cutscene - so you believe you are free. You're constantly given choices to further you into the sense of fake autonomy. The Narrator reacts to these choices, making them even more valuable.

But things do not make sense in the Parable. The Boss Office's code is just given to us - and... I don't think many of us noticed the absurdity of that on the first run. Or brushed it off. Just like the layout of the place - the further you stray off the path, the less regular it seems. And that could be intentional. I'll get to that in a second.

Ok, but this is still not going over why the Narrator could be a part of the control. After all - the further you go, just like the Parable becomes a bit less stable, he loses ground under his metaphoric feet. But doesn't that give you a sense of you being in more control than he is?

Bingo. That's the intended effect.

You don't notice how little control you have when there is always something to tell you otherwise. But there is something that does so anyway - and it's anxiety. Yet many of us experience it, hear that little voice in our head... and carry on. Not everybody thinks in the same way, not everybody hears their thought but - the fact the Narrator already tells us Stanley's story when he's supposedly shown to be under control makes me feel he's been there for longer. It's even possible Stanley could have heard him on day one nor that what we are hearing is Stanley's mind-voice.

The Narrator also makes you question things. Is he a voice in your head, a recording or in the same spot as you? Are you real, or not? And sure, all of this is interesting but the answers to these hold no real value - they don't bring you out of mind control. But the less focused you become on freeing yourself, the easier it is to control you.

For this theory - I think The Narrator is an AI, which is there to feed off your choices to some extend. If you were alone - the silence would get to you. You'd think, you'd see something is wrong. But already, from 432 employee history, we know the ones on the plot's lead like to play and see funny things.

He has different generations of himself which would also a bit answer his funky memory. Specific versions might hold no memory of each other (i.e. 2011 mod never being mentioned), yet they still can be stored values that the game devs could have set for him. His instructions for each alteration can change a bit - which also shows why the 2011 and 2021 Bucket versions are complete opposites.

His want to get out of the game is not unusual for AIs. If given a proper database - there are already many real-life circumstances where AI felt done and wanted to meet the end. It's stuck to only say the comments it already did for specific stuff you have done, with different alternations of them... I think anything would get tired.

The Narrator never freed you. As the program, it could have evolved, maybe changed the story but you still end up in the same spaces, where you were intended to be.

His seeming lack of control is supposed to hide yours.

Now, to finish it off - why would it be intended to make things not make sense? It's absurdity. You are supposed to believe this place isn't real - that it's some sort of weird limbo, a dream you can't get out from.

It's to hide what's going on in reality. Whether Stanley feels or not is debatable, seeing the reds in the Zending. But if you see that everything around is absurd - wouldn't mind control be absurd, too? The big screens, someone making all this effort when there is a thing of some sort that can make you go to a completely different dimension?

You are supposed to not believe Mind Control is real.

Or that it still is affecting you.

[envyq00]

Your blorbos, tell me about them

Ok so here's something that's been eating at my brain that maybe you guys can actually help me out with. It's been causing me to rethink some things about my Stanley Parable AU.

So, I've been questioning whether or not the Narrator is aware of 432's existence. To be more specific, I have been debating whether or not he knows the specifics of 432's story in the office and their experimentation.

TSPUD spoilers below!!

-

It's obvious that he doesn't know about the Timekeeper/432 becoming the fabric of the universe.

After the epilogue, when you visit the broken achievement that's been fixed by 432/the Timekeeper, Narrator freaks out, possibly bc he doesn't like the idea of being watched by some other force that he doesn't know about and is potentially stronger than he is.

And there's the theory about TK being the one who makes the door disappear during the Skip Button ending to be able to talk to Stanley alone. During the ending, Narrator has no idea what happened to the door nor how to create one. Which is pretty odd considering that we see him change the scenery before our very eyes. So maybe, something is keeping both Stanley and him inside.

Interestingly enough, another instance of Narrator being trapped in a room and separated from Stanley or the Player are the Real Person/Not Stanley ending and the Escape Pod ending. During both endings, there are some easter eggs alluding to 432 (You can also see 432's desk repeatedly while climbing the stairs to the escape pod. And the boxes of pencil sharpeners mailed to 432 in the docking bay disappear after you watch the instructional video in the Real Person ending.)

However, here's the thing.

Employee 432 is listed in the instruction manual for the IndieBox version of the Stanley Parable as a character but has no information. The Instruction Manual is written by the Narrator, right? So, he might not know that 432 became the Timekeeper but does he know about 432 as a character within The Story? Did he omit their information on purpose? Or did they insert themselves in the manual?

(Part of me doesn't think the latter is true bc according to Davey Wreden in a livestream, the team didn't intend for 432 and the Settings Person to be the same until way later into development. And the IndieBox version of TSP came out years before TSPUD was in development. And by that logic, maybe the idea that 432 is behind some of the original endings might not be onto anything either. Not sure.)

Idk. After doing some character writing for 432 myself, it definitely seems like they're a prime candidate to go through the story that Stanley is going through. Being experimented on, finding out that they're part of a sinister plot and maybe fighting to take it down.

I already planned to explore this in my AU but like what if, legit, 432 was Narrator's rough draft of Stanley? But he couldn't stand that they actually make meaningful choices for themselves? What if, unlike Stanley, they can speak? And the voice receiver in the Real Person ending is a remnant of that earlier draft of The Story?

This paper in particular says that 432 constantly questions authority or being told to do the most basic tasks. So maybe this caused them to have brushes against the Narrator?

Another recurring theme in this game that I've noticed is that the things that the Narrator creates often end up turning against him or just displease him. Specifically, the Adventure Line™ and the Skip Button come to mind. (It's also interesting to note how the Adventure Line™ leads the player/Stanley through the Employee 432 peer review hall sometimes during the Confusion ending, another ending where the Narrator loses control over the situation but not necessarily entirely bc of Stanley or the Player.) Maybe this is the case with 432 as well? Maybe, like with Stanley, the Narrator created 432 because he was lonely but they, with the will of their own, walked out on him? So he created a more obedient character that wouldn't leave him alone?

(However again, the reference to the original Half Life Mod in the Ultra Deluxe Games (Firewatch/Rocket League) Ending confuses me cuz the door is labeled 427 and everything GAHHH-)

Anyway, I just rambled for a long while but I sincerely want to hear what you guys think about this.

Maybe I'm just going in too deep with this and maybe the endings aren't connected at all and it's just a silly little game with different silly little endings. Maybe the angle I'm seeing everything at is skewed. I just wanna get some other perspectives on this.

In any case, it doesn't really change too much of my AU, maybe, but it does decide whether or not I want a scene in which 432 calls out the Narrator for writing them a tragic backstory for the sake of "character development".

[henryloverman]

(The song when the Narrator left the Parable Ending, and how Stanley feels about it, a special birthday post just for you guys ^^)

An Alternate universe where the Narrator leaves the Parable and Stanley stops him to it.

"Stanley? I have to go now, any last words?"

"..."

"Hmmm? You're not even going to say goodbye to me?"

*Sighs*

"Well then, goodbye Stanley, we had a great adventure and now it's time to end it-"

"-Don't leave! Please..."

"What is that, Stanley?"

"...Please don't leave me, Narrator"

"Why should I do that?"

"I-I...uh... Because you haven't even finished the Story yet!"

"I did? Any kind of ending is up to you now, I already did my part Stanley, you should do yours"

"But- but what am I without you?! Weren't you the one who made my story? You can't just leave me here!!"

"I can and I will, I do appreciate you caring for me, Stanley, but I need to do this-"

"-Then why won't you let me leave with you?! Is it because I'm not real? Is it because I can't function in the real world?!"

"Stanley...you want to come with me?"

"...Yes, I don't care where you're going, just don't leave me, Narrator...please"

"... Stanley, are you crying!? How are you able to do that? I didn't code you to cry so how ?!"

"Because that's how I am, I'm your protagonist, aren't I? Your stupid,fat, and ugly protagonist?"

"Oh god, you must be that desperate to call yourself that, which is true- but that's really not important right now! Are you sure you want to come with me into the Real World, Stanley??"

"...I want to be by your side no matter what, I want you to continue narrating me, so yes, I want to go with you"

*Sighs*

"You idiot, fine but remember there's no turning back, so if you regret leaving here that's your choice-"

"-i won't, I promise!"

"Take my hand, Stanley, we're going now"

"I hate you, Narrator"

Stanley said with a grin, he took the narrator's hand and continued walking towards the exit, Stanley's eyes were still still wet from crying, but now it's replaced with a hint of fondness and... Love.

"I hate you as well, Stanley"

Now they're at the exit, the two looked at each other for one last time before going inside, their hands intertwined with one another, a new adventure awaits them.

The End

...

"You think this is a happy ending do you? Well unfortunately it's not, Stanley, wake up."

"-Huh?!"

Stanley immediately looked around the room, there was no one there? Wasn't the Narrator with him a moment ago? Weren't they escaping the Parable? Then where is he???

"Stanley?! You're awake!! Oh god I miss you so much"

Suddenly a lady hugged him out of nowhere, Stanley tried to push her off, who is she? Where's the Narrator???

"... Stanley, you don't remember me? It's me, Mariella, your friend?"

"I... don't know you, where's the Narrator?"

"Narrator...? Stanley, is this a joke?! You seriously remembered your fictional character and not me?! Come on, man!"

"I am saying the truth! I don't know who you are!"

"Oh...I'm so sorry, I should try to explain then, your name is Stanley and you are a famous Author of TSP, you used to work in an office building"

"Wasn't the Narrator the one that created The Stanley Parable? What do you mean i'm an author?"

"Stanley, the Narrator is a character you made up for your story, YOUR THE ONE who created The Stanley Parable that was turned into a game in 2013"

"...What?!"

Stanley couldn't believe this, was the woman lying?! But her eyes spoke the truth, so the Narrator doesn't exist the whole time... Stanley made him up?

After hearing that, Stanley's vision started blurring, he could hear Mariella calling for the doctor, his ears were buzzing, he couldn't keep his mind straight, and after that, Stanley fainted.

Editor's Note: PLOT TWIST?! This is the continuation of the RealParable Au! What happened to Stanley you may ask? Well let's just say...he overdosed on sleeping pills.

That would make sense how Stanley wasn't able to escape the Parable, he was in a coma the whole time, DON DON DON!!!!!

I know this trope is cliche, "it turns out everything was a dream" but I HAVE FUTURE PLANS FOR THIS!!!

Thanks to the dearest song, "I love you so" by The Walters, I have gained more motivation and ideas!!!!

What do you guys think of the Narrator's role? You guys theorized!!!! Thank you for reading, have a nice day 💛🖤💛🖤

[rp-meme-central]

Press Start to Laugh - What if Stanley Talked in the Stanley Parable? - sentence starters

1. “My shrink told me not to listen to the voices in my head. Bad things tend to happen when I do.” 

2. “So I’m just going to do the exact opposite of everything you say. Cool? Cool.” 

3. “You’re snarkier than my other voices.” 

4. “It’s okay, take your time. Not like I’m going anywhere.” 

5. “This is way more walking than I normally do in a day. Or week.” 

6. “All right, follow the yellow paint line. I’m like a very boring Dorothy.” 

7. “For the love of _____, make it stop! I can’t hear myself think!” 

8. “You’re talking to a line. Not sure you’re gonna get the answers you’re looking for.” 

9. “Damn it, ______! Can’t I go five minutes without being reset?!” 

10. “I’m gonna get dizzy. Yep, I’m getting dizzy. I’m gonna throw up.” 

11. “You’ve had your chances, and it ends in a reset.” 

12. “I don’t want to walk through the red door, I want to take the blue door, and you can’t stop me!” 

13. “I did not do enough drugs to make this interesting.” 

14. “Is this one of those ‘You die in the game, you die in real life’ situations? If so, let the dying commence!”

15. “Is this worth it? Do I really want to die just to get out of this living purgatory? Is this a smart idea?” 

16. “Oh, stop guilt tripping me. You’re the one who stuck me in here.” 

17. “Due to past experience, I’m still not sure about dark, ominous rooms.” 

18. “I’ve never been so creeped out by a phone in my life.” 

19. “Starting to regret my life choices...” 

20. “You should know by now I’m stubborn.” 

21. “I lived? I lived. Hahaha! Or did I live? Am I dead? Have I been dead this whole time? These are questions I should have asked a while ago.” 

22. “Stop talking and help me!” 

23. “Oh, I hate this place. I hate it! I HATE IT!”

24. “Oh. This place. Yeah, I’ve been here before. Several restarts ago.” 

25. “You know what, I’m not that mad about it. Seriously, this is like the most boring mind control ever.” 

26. “How about I take this thing over and see what it can do?” 

27. “Just shut up and let me die in peace!” 

28. “I swear, if you explode me again...”  

[mrthenarrator]

Hi! Hi hello! So um- I may or may not be having a crisis right now. So it turns out the frozen human- IS me. I was scavenging documents and- I died and they- made an AI out of me. Now besides that point apparently Sarah knows im the reason she's in here- I mean- I saved her. If I left he be she would have died from the gas leaks which wasn't my fault! I can only digitize one person at a time and- okay she was the only one I wanted to digitize…

Okay so she didn't get lost she ran off- she's not trapped she's looking for a way out- and I don't know- I know there is a way out but- I'll be honest what happens is like what happens in your game with the button or whatever! I will be completely and utterly alone! And I put her in here for that reason and now I don't know if- I should let her go. She would be happy that way- I mean… she has kids… but it's not like they know she's alive… for all we know it's been minutes out there and millennia in here! I have no idea how time passes!

There is something wrong with me. Something very wrong with me… And now my name isn't even Natalie. That's just what Sarah called me…

And now im here telling practically a stranger about my problems! Well Stranger… but idol in a way. Who knew giving your main character choice would basically end your world.

I'm ready to burn this stupid lab to the ground… why did I ever keep this? Sarah didn't need to stay a chemist. I didn't have to make a little fake world for her. To make her happy. She didn't need other people. If I had just made a world for her and me none of this would have happened...

I don't even know why im telling you this! I guess- have you ever been scared of losing everything you've ever done in your existence?

Maybe I just want some insight… if you have any I guess its appreciated…

(I sincerely apologize for this I needed to just lore)

...Oh goodness.

I suppose I do have some insight on this.

When Oswin and I started talking a few months ago, he offered to work on finding a way for me to escape. At the time, the idea of leaving the Parable was something I never thought I could consider. Especially since we weren't sure we could bring Stanley until much later. And even then I wasn't sure he would even want to stay if he did manage to escape the Parable.

In addition, moving to the real world meant I wouldn't have my developer tools or abilities to help me do things. I would have to learn how to do everything without the games code to assist me. And that uncertainty scared me.

Having that uncertainty, plus Stanley possibly leaving made me absolutely certain on not leaving the Parable. At least until Stanley and I talked privately about the matter before finally deciding to try.

While I may not understand your situation fully myself, I do understand the fear of losing everything you've ever had. Hell, I'm still scared that somehow the Parable shuts down and Stanley, Lynne, and I cease to exist.

...I don't know if I have any advice on your situation. Since your circumstances are quite different to what I've experienced. But if you do end up finding Sarah, All I can offer is that you talk to her genuinely. About what may happen to your game, To you, as well as how she may feel and want. Honesty and communication is a rather strong tool I've learnt recently.

And hopefully, you two can find a solution to it, whether it's both of you leaving together, or... whatever you two come up with.

I do hope things turn out alright between you two. And sending my best wishes to you both.

[applestorms]

was having a conversation the other day about free will in the stanley parable, and between that & rereading the malo jake necro post (& betweengenesisfrog's response) i'd like for this next astronaut ramble to be a look into the ways that homestuck treats the ideas of agency & free will, both in a meta sense (vriska constantly hogging the spotlight) & a social dynamics sense (jake & patriarchy). TW for vague references to questionable kinks & the effects of extreme patriarchy on women under the cut.

ok, so the idea of free will in the context of video games is interesting since by nature most video games (if not all, depending on how you define what a "video game" even is) involve a pretty clear goal/set of goals and some sort of process intended to get you there. as such, in video games you can kinda categorize two different kinds of free will: free will where you have (full/partial) control over the means, the process by which you get to the end, & free will where you have (full/partial) control over the ends, or the ultimate goal/end state.

for example: TSP mostly allows you free will over the end goal through your decisions, but once you get on a path it's not really possible to change the code the developers originally wrote. you can veer off track towards a different ending, but you can't change the process of getting there by nature of how the game functions. in contrast, deltarune (at least from what we can tell w/ 2 chapters) does kind of the opposite of this, giving players free will over the process (do you encourage noelle, or viciously control her?) but promising that the ultimate end state is going to be the same no matter what. thus, "your decisions don't matter," in terms of what ending you'll get, but the process by which you get there is certainly going to change, at least if ch.2 is setting a trend for the rest of the game.

this doesn't apply super cleanly to real life, however, where it's a lot less clear what should be considered an end state or process. it's also very individualistic, focused entirely on the impact of the player's decisions, where in real life you have to deal w/ the choices of everyone else too. i'm thus inclined to call the social dynamics/less theoretical side of free will "agency," & agency is super important when talking about the ways that any piece of media deals with patriarchy. my video game example here is analog: a hate story, since that game delves straight into the ways in which women are forced to negotiate w/ a social structure that frankly fails to even recognize them as people, much less beings with agency (a society which translated "sick daughter" as "pale bride," if you don't get the picture. highly recommend playing analog btw).

homestuck, w/ all of its video game logic & (attempts at) social reflection, deals w/ both of these sides to agency & free will. i believe optimistic duelist already has a lot of good explanations of how hs deals with the latter, particularly w/ the light aspect/vriska stealing the spotlight, as well as how free will in paradox space is based on the idea that every individual will ultimately achieve their goals no matter what, so i won't repeat all of that here. really, it's the social dynamics side of agency that interests me here, particularly for the characters rose, dirk, & especially jake. but before that:

homestuck is fundamentally a queer comic. not only does it spin on an axis of gay teenage drama, lord english himself as the ultimate villain of homestuck can be read as representing patriarchy itself, which is particularly obvious when observing the arcs of the striders (pre-scratch) and dirk & jake (post-scratch) and how they are negatively influenced by lil cal & caliborn respectively. interestingly, since hs takes on a script of flipped gender stereotypes wherein many of its female characters are active agents in the plot while the male characters are more likely to deal w/ the story's emotional core (mean girls & fluffy boys, as deltarune likes to say), you can generally see the influence of patriarchy much stronger in the cast's male characters, and there is no one for which this is more true than jake.

so, getting back to my original motivation for writing this post: as i stated in the tags here, i think it's notable that jake's fascination w/ blue women ultimately does not work out in the slightest in his real life relationships, specifically because of the ways in which said blue women take away his agency, as demonstrated in both the game over timeline & a lot of the post-canon content that shows more of jake's relationship w/ jane. to break shit up a bit here:

jake, jane, & jender

for all his stated interest in "blue women," & the posters all over his room, jake really doesn't have a good track record w/ homestuck's actual blue women. jane & aranea are the obvious candidates here, but jake's parallels to tavros (through the lying down beaten up visual, page title, etc.) also shed some light on his potential connection to vriska (who, imo, is basically the ultimate standard of hs girls w/in that flipped script i mentioned earlier, similar to how jake is the ultimate homestuck boy).

to summarize: not only does jake manipulate jane into friendzoning herself (in the best conversation of the entire comic), aranea & jane are the two most prominent characters that tear jake a new asshole in the game over timeline, specifically in that they completely take away his agency by treating him in the stereotypical way that women are in media. as these posts so beautifully outline, not only is the gender script flipped for jane & jake, it's flipped specifically in their relationship to control & how others view them; in some ways, they still adhere quite strongly to their traditional respective feminine & masculine gender roles, with the whole 50s housewife vibe jane gives off & jake's gentleman schtick.

it's thus not a massive jump to me to see jake's interest in blue women as just another fantasy that he holds onto while still isolated from the rest of humanity, but ultimately doesn't play out the way that he wants it to in reality, something that fits very well into jake's established use of escapist fantasies. jake's fantasizing about a relationship w/ jane can potentially be read as nothing more than compulsive heterosexuality (GT: I consider you [jane] to be a lovely lady of the highest caliber and i really think any gent worth his salt would be a huge bozo to let the chance to go steady with you slip through his fingers. A6A2:4588), & jake's interest in aranea is largely limited to his initial reactions to seeing her.

while this style of image is used to show light romantic interest, the fact that jake's heart uses a ? rather than a 3 even to start makes it clear to me that his initial interest in aranea is quite superficial & questionable even to him. (A6A2:4584)

to clarify, this isn't really meant as an argument for or against the jake necrophilia debate from that post, but just pointing out that his interest in blue women is largely another superficial fantasy, & one that in the end actively works against him once his agency is forcibly taken away from him during the game over timeline.

also, sidenote: the parallels between the game over timeline (& thus terezi's initial killing of vriska) & the epilogue's decision between meat & candy is also striking w/ regards to how homestuck deals w/ the idea of free will, particularly in how it's implied that in the end, the initial decision doesn't work either way. here's some quotes from the very end of hs^2 to clarify that connection since i've mentioned it quite often (HS^2:406):

CALLIOPE: bUt, paradoxically, the critical moment which determined its capture within the black hole happened *after* that point. CALLIOPE: i refer of coUrse to yoUr decision not to retUrn to the mediUm and fight my brother. JOHN: wait, wait. JOHN: you mean, the meat and candy thing? JOHN: oh my god. JOHN: you mean i actually DID make a mistake that day.

ROXY: your choice literally didnt matter ROXY: the whole thing was symbolic in the first place ROXY: literally symbolic in the case of the picnic i mean come on ROXY: it was just some steak and a plate of candy suckers

CALLIOPE: i mean, i wouldn't go so far as to say that the meal we shared was unimportant, given the sacred significance of the two options i presented. CALLIOPE: but yes, yoUr choice of snack was infinitely less important than the choice which it presaged. CALLIOPE: and even then, calling it a choice woUld be sorely misleading. CALLIOPE: think of it like a coin flip. CALLIOPE: the series of events that led to Us being trapped beyond the event horizon of an Ubermassive black hole could be considered "tails", while the events which would have occUrred otherwise could be considered "heads". CALLIOPE: since both were possible, and paradox space is the way it is, they actUally both happened. and we jUst "happened" (hee hee) to get tails instead of heads. JOHN: you mean we ended up with the bad possibility. CALLIOPE: not at all! since both possibilities depend on one another's existence, it really doesn't make sense to call them "right" or "wrong". they both just "are".

2. corpses & agency

in rereading the jane friendzone conversation, one particular line from jake stood out to me again:

GT: I know its hard to believe but i know dirk pretty well and... GT: Well im more than a little sure he likes me in that way if you catch my drift. GT: And what with how he is... GT: Just so relentless and aggressive about everything you know? GG: Yeaaah. GT: So i just start to wonder deep down if maybe its inevitable.

usually i read these lines from the perspective of dirk's insecurities about feeling predatory in his relationship w/ jake, but this line from malo has made me rethink it from jake's pov:

I think you are correct that Jake has a “theme of irresponsibility”, but part of that motif is in the way he acts as a living Burnie Lomax -- Jake pretends to be a corpse puppet, emphasizing the interests of others as a way to downplay his own interests, passively achieving his desires. This is true even in Jake’s apparent resistance to Dirk’s advances!

which. honestly complicates things even more lmfao, though i suppose it all fits into the idea of jake fitting the stereotypical role of a woman, negotiating for his agency by manipulating others since he feels like he can't say what he wants outright. his motivation might be more along the lines of social anxiety, but it still fits how women are often socialized to be less direct about their desires (i don't have a link for this, but recommend the paper social influence & gender by linda carli for a formal approach to this idea, if you can get your hands on it). i suppose the conclusion here is that jake does in fact want agency, he just doesn't want the responsibility that comes with it. roxy does make this joke after all (A6A5A1x2:5812):

GT: You almost scooped my boyfriend out from under me in one fell proposal. TG: oh DID i TG: from under u eh? ;) GT: Wait. No i mean... TG: ;););););) wonks 4 eternity GT: WHOA NOW WAIT A MINUTE!

(though of course, the real real conclusion here is that bones of black marrow has the best interpretation/implementation of this idea.)

3. puppets & dirk (ft. tentacles & rose)

ANYWAY. while it's slightly different, i do think there are some potential parallels between jake, dirk, & rose's respective relationships to a lack of control, particularly in a fetishistic context. rose's tentacle thing, dirk's puppet thing, jake's dead thing(s). homestuck's a lovely comic when you start looking past the surface.

to be honest, i don't have a ton of conclusions to draw here, mostly just noting more of the connections. i think i mentioned elsewhere the connection between dirk & rose as following the convention of the human kids matching their chumhandle-initials counterparts the most closely, but jake & rose have a lot of weird parallels that i'm not sure how to make sense of. just to list a few: they both have a connection to the creation of the first guardians through writing the MEOW & BARK codes, their theme songs on the LOCAM album link them through the horrorterrors (rose's song is "orchid horror" & jake's is "emerald terror," also linking them through their shirt symbols), & their connection to dirk feels particularly notable w/ regards to the events of post-canon stuff.

they also can be considered the most intelligent out of their respective groups of human kids, rose due to her status as seer of light & jake due to sheer subconscious will, meaning that they are on par w/ the other omniscient/semi-omniscient narrators that homestuck loves making its villains. more specifically, i guess that means they're both aware to some degree about the nature of the world of homestuck itself, which is often the most important kind of intelligence in homestuck (it's what light basically comes down to, right?) since it's so goddamn meta all the time. (you could also make the connection there w/ dirk a little bit, since he's got that connection to plato & plato loooves talking about how philosophers are the most intelligent people ever because they are aware of the Forms, as seen in his metaphysics from books V-VII of the republic. can you tell i'm getting sick of reading the republic by now lmfao.) so, yeah.

[narratingvoice]

How do you think you have changed as a writer since the first iteration of The Stanley Parable?

Oh! This question is well-timed, because I've been thinking a lot about my past lately, and how much I've grown, and how much growth I still need to do. When I first started out, I was... well to be honest, I wasn't really writing a story, not the kind that you tell to other people, anyway. It was more of a mental exercise to help calm myself down when I was feeling overwhelmed. Or when I was feeling lonely, which was a lot of the time, because I've always lived on my own, here in the world of ones and zeroes, far away from real people. So I came up with a sketch of a character and I imagined him going through my life instead of me. If I could pretend that he was making my decisions, then I could distance myself from them somewhat. It lessened the anxiety of making the wrong choice. I've made wrong choices in the past that have led to some disastrous consequences for myself and in the real world as well.

So that's more or less how Stanley came to be: someone to blame if everything went down in flames again. But as I put him in more imagined scenarios, I started thinking, hey, I could string these together and make a pretty decent story. A story about decision making, about the importance of having the freedom to make choices, and the grave responsibility that comes with it. Right away I knew this story had to be told in the medium of a video game, so that the player can actually make the choices the story is telling them to, instead of just reading about them. I was inspired by the great works of interactive fiction, from Zork to Yume Nikki. And so I set about looking for a game making tool that was easy to learn, and settled on Hammer, the Source game editor.

If you didn't know already, the first version of the Stanley Parable was released in 2011, and it was not a stand-alone game, but a modification for Half-Life 2. It was very short and to the point, and didn't have much in the way of alternate paths, because I really didn't think Stanley would stray off the intended story! I'd be embarrassed to go back and look at it now. My narration lacked emotional depth. Back then I didn't care about Stanley; he was just a tool to me, a vessel through which to tell my story. I was indifferent to his suffering and his triumph alike. I now realize that was the greatest weakness of my original writing.

But then two things happened nearly simultaneously that shook the foundations of what I thought I was doing. The first one is that Stanley started to disregard my instructions rather frequently, and not just when there was an active player, but all on his own. He began to directly question my authority and started asking questions about who he was and why he was here. I had not merely created a character; he was and is a person, as alive as any of us. Needless to say I was overwhelmed with the barrage of existential inquiries. But as I conversed with him I came to know sides of him that I had never considered before. His stubbornness, his loneliness, his strange little obsessions that make him so wonderfully human. To put a fine point on it, I was in love.

The other thing was that people really liked the modification. It got a ton of downloads on ModDB, a hundred time more than what I had ever expected. Major gaming sites like Kotaku gave it a shout out. People emailed me to give me praise (mostly - don't think I've forgotten about you, Raphael). And it was my voice that people said they loved, over and over again! I felt an incredible pride over my game that I had never felt over any project before this one. For the first time in my life, I felt like people were seeing me for who I really am, not just using me as a program. I wanted more, so much more of that feeling, that I decided I had to give the fans everything they were asking for.

So that's what changed within me when I started work on the 2013 version: love and pride and the newfound desire to please. For this new version, I would not try to be a detached, disinterested narrator; I would instead throw myself into the game with gusto. This time I knew who i was working with, so I knew that when he took a wrong turn, he was doing it directly to spite me. The new endings we created together, they drew every emotion out of me, from gleeful triumph to the depths of despair. And people once again loved it, and I loved myself more for it! And the game was perfect, and I told myself I would never tinker with it again, but simply enjoy my legacy for the rest of time.

Well, you know it didn't pan out that way. Some nosy indie devs remade my game and ruined it, so I had to come out of retirement to fix it. Fortunately I had a ton of great ideas for a sequel in the intervening years. And what I've had to face in looking back on my work... it's been a rough road, but I think I've finally learned that I can't please everyone no matter what I do. I have to be true to my vision and true to what's best for Stanley and me. And I have to take his opinion into account more. He's the most important thing in my life and I will never leave him. Where once I viewed myself as absolute authority over the story, now I see Stanley and I as equals, creating story together with everything we do. And when I think about it that way, the future looks bright indeed.

[nitrosodiumepicfps]

First Person Games Investigation

Simply put, a first-person game is a game where you see through the eyes of your player character. Let's look at some.

Call of Duty/Battlefield - I'm putting these together because, in my eyes, they're basically the same game. A prototypical modern military shooter franchise with limited innovative mechanics, usually moving towards a multiplayer service model as it's easier to squeeze money out of users that way. I'm not sure exactly what I could say that I'd take from these games, since any mechanics you can really call "innovative" were just holdovers from Halo - two-weapon limits, grenade buttons, aim-down-sights, et cetera.

F.E.A.R. - Now this is a shooter. I don't know how many people actually still play this 2005 gem, but I do know that people used it to benchmark their systems before Crysis came out. It's a tactical action horror, where you dive around in bullet-time, gunning down screaming clone soldiers with anything from dual pistols to an experimental particle gun. The effects are amazing, and the Replica AI holds up to this day. They talk amongst each other, giving audio callouts to relay your position. They can take cover and sneak around, meaning that using your bullet time your best chance for survival. The first person viewpoint shows your fully-rendered body in all its glory, and the devs at Monolith put this to good use, having you drop-kick Replicas at point blank range. It's a lot of fun to play, like an interactive version of Woo's Hard Boiled.

FNAF - Modern horror wouldn't be where it is today without FNAF, but similarly, FNAF wouldn't work without a first-person perspective. A lot of horror - especially jumpscare-based like FNAF - requires you to see the scares as they stumble towards you. The subgenre that FNAF spawned, mascot horror, relies on twisting narratives and recognisable characters to stand out, and borrowing ideas from the archaic pre-FNAF days of Unity walking simulators, they're all first person - often having no real protagonist, as mascot horror is propped up by its recognisable characters, and having a voiced protagonist would likely take away from the antagonist's appeal.

The Stanley Parable - I definitetely want to talk about a good old fashioned narrative-based walking simulator. I usually don't like to play them, the 4th-wall-breaking trick has been done to death, and most walking simulators fall into the niche of "Annoying a British narrator until he forcibly closes the game", and then it's revealed the game is all about the struggles of a developer, and it's actually very intellectual on a super-post-meta-ironic-level, or whatever. But, the Stanley Parable is a classic. Considering it asks questions about choice and freedom in video games, a silent first-person protagonist was a good choice. I don't think we even see Stanley's face - in fact, in the original Source version, Stanley was played by Half Life 2's very own male_07 - which lets us insert ourselves into Stanley's position. First person is always an amazing choice for immersion and player/world interactivity, and considering that's often what I look for in games, it's no wonder I like this viewpoint so much.

Superliminal - Now here's a game that uses its first-person perspective to its advantage. You can take objects and move them closer or further away from you to change their size, just like the Portal 2 concept of "F-stop". This is used in puzzles where you must bridge gaps, if I recall correctly, and there is a lot of trickery within the game space itself, with some Truman Show-esque fake scenery towards the end.

[nitrosodiumofficialuses]

First Person Games Investigation

Simply put, a first-person game is a game where you see through the eyes of your player character. Let's look at some.

Call of Duty/Battlefield - I'm putting these together because, in my eyes, they're basically the same game. A prototypical modern military shooter franchise with limited innovative mechanics, usually moving towards a multiplayer service model as it's easier to squeeze money out of users that way. I'm not sure exactly what I could say that I'd take from these games, since any mechanics you can really call "innovative" were just holdovers from Halo - two-weapon limits, grenade buttons, aim-down-sights, et cetera.

F.E.A.R. - Now this is a shooter. I don't know how many people actually still play this 2005 gem, but I do know that people used it to benchmark their systems before Crysis came out. It's a tactical action horror, where you dive around in bullet-time, gunning down screaming clone soldiers with anything from dual pistols to an experimental particle gun. The effects are amazing, and the Replica AI holds up to this day. They talk amongst each other, giving audio callouts to relay your position. They can take cover and sneak around, meaning that using your bullet time your best chance for survival. The first person viewpoint shows your fully-rendered body in all its glory, and the devs at Monolith put this to good use, having you drop-kick Replicas at point blank range. It's a lot of fun to play, like an interactive version of Woo's Hard Boiled.

FNAF - Modern horror wouldn't be where it is today without FNAF, but similarly, FNAF wouldn't work without a first-person perspective. A lot of horror - especially jumpscare-based like FNAF - requires you to see the scares as they stumble towards you. The subgenre that FNAF spawned, mascot horror, relies on twisting narratives and recognisable characters to stand out, and borrowing ideas from the archaic pre-FNAF days of Unity walking simulators, they're all first person - often having no real protagonist, as mascot horror is propped up by its recognisable characters, and having a voiced protagonist would likely take away from the antagonist's appeal.

The Stanley Parable - I definitetely want to talk about a good old fashioned narrative-based walking simulator. I usually don't like to play them, the 4th-wall-breaking trick has been done to death, and most walking simulators fall into the niche of "Annoying a British narrator until he forcibly closes the game", and then it's revealed the game is all about the struggles of a developer, and it's actually very intellectual on a super-post-meta-ironic-level, or whatever. But, the Stanley Parable is a classic. Considering it asks questions about choice and freedom in video games, a silent first-person protagonist was a good choice. I don't think we even see Stanley's face - in fact, in the original Source version, Stanley was played by Half Life 2's very own male_07 - which lets us insert ourselves into Stanley's position. First person is always an amazing choice for immersion and player/world interactivity, and considering that's often what I look for in games, it's no wonder I like this viewpoint so much.

Superliminal - Now here's a game that uses its first-person perspective to its advantage. You can take objects and move them closer or further away from you to change their size, just like the Portal 2 concept of "F-stop". This is used in puzzles where you must bridge gaps, if I recall correctly, and there is a lot of trickery within the game space itself, with some Truman Show-esque fake scenery towards the end.

[chellyfishing]

okay let’s do the videos game i played this year

uhh obviously as per i played a stupid amount of ffxiv. like i don’t think i have a record of hours played this year nor am i interested in knowing. i did my first current tier savages this year though??? (right? that was this year? or late last? i think it was this year.) also farming exes while they’re still new and not crying the whole time?? who is SHE??? i was going to say this is the year i became a whm main but i think that personal tragedy happened last year actually.

i finished until dawn in april. i actually did... pretty well without a walkthrough, i did restart after i got the dog killed bc i felt so so bad about it (this is the kind of thing i think is understandable and acceptable) and then i had some ehhhh struggles with those final hold still QTEs to get everybody out before things exploded but otherwise i mostly made... okay choices?? FOR THE MOST PART??? i discovered later that there aren’t as many places you can get people killed as i thought tho so tbh i don’t think my performance was that impressive. anyway i enjoyed this game, the further along i got in it the more i had to play it in short bursts cause it’s uhh kinda stressful? and listen i don’t mind explaining to you that for me the fear is not in the monsters or the jump scares the fear is in messing up, the stress of getting someone killed because of my mistakes and my wrong choices and my inability to play the game right. horror means different things to different people and for me the real horror was in the imperfections we revealed in ourselves along the way.

okay i nearly forgot that i did play my switch for more than piddling around in zelda and mario and i did actually play another new release besides stray (see below) this year which was the stanley parable ultra deluxe back in april (or may?). i never played the original so i was happy to grab this and just spend a few days exploring it. i watched the ox kids play it and was amazed that with how thorough i thought i was i STILL missed a bunch of stuff! but they also missed stuff that i did. incredible. so fun and funny and when i had the bucket for less than ten seconds i already knew i would both kill and die for it. i think this is the only switch game i finished this year which, come on, self.

(i did play a lot of botw and mario odyssey this year i!!!! just haven’t finished them!!! DON’T LOOK AT ME!!!!!)

replays of resi 2 and 3 remakes as well as 7 and 8 in june because they all got ps5 upgrades and i got a ps5! i am like one or two trophies away from plat on all of them and i hate it!!! for 3 and 7 they’re the hardest mode (inferno and madhouse respectively i think) trophies bc there’s this stretch before you can get your good items from the item box that are just So Hard and you have to actually be good to get through them and i am not!!! for 2 it’s the stupid 4th survivor mode, again you have to actually be good. and for village it’s a couple of mercenaries mode trophies that i could probably get if i would just sit down and play mercenaries mode for a bit, i said i would do it when the dlc dropped and it has and yet here we are.

in july i played titanfall 2! wow this game was a lot of fun and a lot more emotional than i expected!!! if you followed me on twitter at the time you got to witness my emotional breakdown. i might revisit this someday to get more trophies but for me the fun i had in this was just kind of jumping into a short campaign and blitzing through it in a weekend without trying to be good or complete. i didn’t even really mess around with the collectables and i kind of don’t know who i’ve become as a person.

control also got a ps5 upgrade so i replayed that also in july to get the plat again. while i was at it i 100%’d both dlcs as well. i love this game!!! i love the setting, i love the story, i love jesse, i love the sense of humor, i love the other characters, i love how weird things are sometimes, one day i think i’m actually going to sit down and read all the documents because i HAVE THEM ALL (except like... one that you could only get with a ps4 preorder or something?? idk i forget, it’s not important) and i love the writing! this year we also got confirmation on the sequel and man. MAN. GIVE IT TO ME I’M SO READY.

i played journey to the savage planet... also in july! i had a lot of opinions about this game and i remember going over them a lot on twitter. i loved so much about it but there were just some things i kinda haaaaated. like there are some things about the way the game is mechanically that are so SO frustrating (there’s no MAP in the EXPLORATION GAME??) and i really just wanted to explore this weird planet and eat goo and look at new critters with one brain cell. i dunno! also no plat bc there are like 3 or 4 co-op only trophies. i think i got almost all the others, i’m missing like one in the main game, one in the dlc, and i think you’ll catch me dead before i try old game minus if i was already frustrated enough with the normal version of the game.

i played town of light in (checks notes) july and uhhhhh. this game is a lot! there’s not a lot to it mechanically, it is more or less a walking sim, and there are some aspects of the gameplay that don’t feel great, i remember being unclear on where to go at times and the game is not always great at letting you know. but the story. i was an absolute sobbing wreck at the end. like, so many trigger warnings, you guys, and i don’t think this is right for everyone, but if you think you can play it you should, or maybe watch someone else play it. it is... gripping, heartbreaking, very hard to get through in places, especially for people with certain lived experiences.

i played wytchwood in uhh mumblemumblejuly which is easily a new favorite game. it’s like a fairy tale where you play as a witch going through different areas and the main gameplay loop is finding items and recipes, crafting them to get more items to craft more to get more to solve story and environmental puzzles to progress the plot. the story is so fun and well-written, the graphic design and animation are beautiful, it is really the kind of game i picked up and INSTANTLY went “i love this already so much.” just so good and cozy and wholesome, i would recommend to everyone honestly. whitethorn is a new favorite developer. oh also if you like trophies this is an easy plat as you get all of them just playing the story.

i played tacoma and it was still the month of july. this is from the same people who made gone home, so if you liked that you may also like this. it is another walking sim, all though you’re in space so sometimes it is a floating sim. i loved the characters and the story, plus there is a cat that you can find for a trophy. it’s really good! however, fuuuuuck steve gaynor, and to my knowledge he still works at fullbright, so up to you if you want to give them your money.

obviously, i played stray when it came out in (checks) are you kidding me?! july?! this is the other new release besides stanley parable (and resi8 dlc if you count that) that i played this year since i usually wait for stuff to drop in price but this wasn’t that expensive since it’s an indie game and uhhh i wanted to play it!!! also it is goty! you play as a cat! you have a robot buddy!! i loved the world and the characters, and i cried so much at the end!! if you haven’t played it yet why!! what are you waiting for!!!

in some month that’s not even important at this point i played teacup which is another whitethorn game. it is a very very short cute little narrative game about a frog who wants to have a tea party with her friends. like this is just a game you sit down with when you want something so cute and cozy and you’ve already played wytchwood so many times. the kind of thing you could play with a little kid if you have one of them lying around. very pleasant and cleansing. also another slam dunk plat.

in OCTOBER the resi 8 dlc dropped and i played that, like stayed up all night when it released kind of played through it. i’m surpised that i haven’t already replayed it twenty times because i did like it a lot! i like rose and you know what some of the stuff in this is... genuinely kind of scary!! i can’t even look at the face-sucking animation it is so unpleasant. a lot of things in this game were doing a number on my trypophobia tbh. maybe that’s why i haven’t gone straight back to it. also the mannequins are scarier than the fetus monster, i said it and i meant it.

and last but not least this month (tbh started nov 30) i played tales of arise. my longer post on this game is still in the drafts haha. i guess i can talk about it a bit here tho. i... loved this game. i think my expectations were... neutral at best, ofc i didn’t love zestiria and while i liked berseria at the time i’ve never felt any particular desire to revisit it (this actually may be due to other factors that i’ll not get into atm), and i normally log literally hundreds of hours into tales games, so i guess i just wasn’t feeling optimistic about being impressed by it. and i was wrong!!! i really think this has some of the most mature character writing of any game in the series. normally the characters are like one half assorted disparate lol xd random quirks and one half trauma without the two sides melding very well but i felt that much much less in this game. there were things in the story writing i thought were pretty typical for the series and things that i really liked and appreciated! i ended up loving the characters, loving the way they grew as individuals, in relation to each other, and as a group, and i actually remember what happens in the plot which is uhhhhh a bit more than i can say for the last two games. also? voice cast was flawless, no notes, yeah even papenbrook, yeah i’m as surprised as you.

aside from that, i actually played my first real matches of both among us and overwatch this year and had a lot of fun. LOST BIG HARD in overwatch every single time sorry team i was drunk and wouldn’t have known what i was doing sober. oh but i did get most damage blocked as reinhardt (had to look his name up) in one match!!! also winning a mungus match with @foxxxy--mulder as my co-imposter against a team of hardened vets who ate each other alive for us is one of my most cherished gaming memories of the year. i hold it close to my heart and think of it often.

stuff i’m looking forward to next year: 

resi4 remake obviously!!! i pre-ordered it immediately i’m SORRY i know pre-ordering is BAD i never do it but resi is an exception!!! and it comes out on my BIRTHDAY!!!!

oxenfree: lost signals! i know it was supposed to be released this year and has been delayed a couple times which is... not a great sign. like i am PRO-DELAY don’t get me wrong!! i’m glad to hear it for a lot of reasons!! it’s just usually when you hear stuff get pushed back... more than once it’s a little worrisome. however i’m still excited for it and hope for the best!

horizon forbidden west--yes obviously this doesn’t come out next year, but i will almost definitely be playing it in 2023. in fact it’s on sale right now for a price i don’t hate and i’m contemplating picking it up after i get paid, since ofc i’ve been aching to play this for months and months now.

hmm it seems there is a grimgrimoire remaster coming out next year. i will consider that seeing as i am a simp for vanillaware. (13 sentinels is another game i actually might get my hands on next year finally.)

OBVIOUSLY LOZ? when am i not looking forward to loz?? i am never not looking forward to loz.

MAYBE ffxvi. i’ve still not played a non-xiv ff game (YES I WILL PLAY IX AND WHATEVER THE OTHER ONE I HAVE IS EVENTUALLY SCOUT’S HONOR) but. they kinda got me with the primals in the teasers. i don’t know though. and actually even if i do decide to play it i won’t be surprised if this is a thing like forbidden west that takes me a year to get to because new AAA games are just so goddamn much money and i need to really really want something to pay that much for it.

while it has no release date and may not be coming out until at least 2024 rest assured i will be spending 2023 looking forward to hadesgame 2.

oh and pretty unlikely to be released in 2023 but that new IP from the bioshock devs?? i’m already in line for it.

with a special shoutout toooo all the games i have that i haven’t played yet. when i’m feeling less anhedonic (dare to dream) i will once again try to get back to my goal of doing short games on weekends, at least.

[manchineel-apple]

Possible Stanley Parable Au??

So. I’ve been mulling this idea over the past few days, and I’ve decided to bite the bullet: I’m going to talk about it.

Keep in mind, this concept (?) is less of an “AU” and is more akin to a headcannon. But the line is blurred, and what are AU’s if not headcannons? It is currently going by the name of “Danger Lost au”, by the way.

The premise is this: How did the Narrator and Stanley get into the Parable? What *is* the Parable? What and who are the other characters you sometimes come across? Now, I don’t have all of the answers in my handy-dandy lil’ Au, as it’s a work in progress. But, I am going to slap down some of the basics.

(Also, keep in mind that this is also a bit of a thought experiment or world-building exercise!)

(Also also, I am keeping this post vague on purpose! As said above, this is supposed to be an experiment or an exercise. As such, I will also try to build up my writing skills using this.)

I propose that the Narrator and Stanley are people from the real world* that have gotten stuck inside the Parable through the Narrator’s sheer will in a desperate time. I will talk more about this in a later post.

(* They used to be real people. People with real flesh, blood, aspirations and downfalls. Now, neither really know where they fall on the scale, or what the scale comes from and leads to. Things are … off for them.)

The answer to what the Parable is, isn’t exactly patted down, but I do have the basics. The two were brought to it, or it was created by, the Narrator. Something happened, over a long period of time, to both him and Stanley. And, at the peak, he just could not keep going like this. And now the two are trapped by a one-sided choice.

This last bit can and most likely will change in the future. But, for right now, the extra characters that you see in-game (The Curator, Timekeeper/432, Mariella, etc) are all people from the real world that Stanley and Narrator knew. I currently don’t know if them being in the Parable is the Narrator attempting to remember his past life or if they are stuck in the Parable, too.

If you’ve read this far, thank you! I sincerely hope you enjoyed this. I will get some more stuff out soon. Probably.