#the still was too good not to use for Ceres

[jellisdraws]

Yearning for adventure

Lil screenshot redraw as ceres! Only have the shading and blocking figured out for now but I’ll keep plugging away at this

[jedidruid]

Not as clumsy or random as a blaster; an elegant weapon for a more civilized age: Lightsabers and Blasters and the Jedi

If there's one concept I love to rotate around in my head, its the Jedi's use of lightsabers and how they rarely use blasters outside of very extreme or fringe situation.

Like, we know its a purposeful choice on their part. It's far far simpler to get good at shooting a gun than it would be to become a master sword fighter. Add the Force into the mix, and the Jedi would become even more deadly warriors in a galaxy where they're already among the best, if not the best.

Obi-wan's time undercover as Rako Hardeen shows that he's able to match the skill of someone know as the "Marksman of Concord Dawn" with little issue. Kanan and later Ezra show just how much of an edge the Force can give in a shoot-out. In the first episode of Rebels, we literally see Kanan drop three or four stormtroopers in rapid succession while driving a speeder bike. All when he's still actively disguising/holding back his connection to the Force. We even see examples of mixing blasters and lightsabers in the Jedi games, with Cere Junda using both at the end of Fallen Order and Cal developing his own style of it partway through Survivor.

Every time we've seen a Jedi pick up a blaster, they can easily match trained soldiers and experienced fighters.

It's easy, and that's arguably why we don't see more Jedi using them.

To be a Jedi, a blaster is a clumsy weapon not because it somehow inaccurate or unwieldy, but because it gives them too few options.

For a Jedi with just a blaster, the only way to defend themselves against other people with blasters is to shoot back. Sure they could try and shoot the weapons out of their opponents' hands, but even then they would have no way to defend themselves or others from numerous shooters, nor would it stop a disarmed enemy from grabbing another weapon and undoing the Jedi's progress.

For a Jedi with just a blaster, the best way, the safest way, to end the fight is always going to be to shoot to kill.

When a Jedi has a lightsaber, however, it gives them so much more flexibility. They can provide cover for their allies or those they are protecting, they can turn blaster bolts back on their aggressors to discourage them from attacking, they can more easily advance to nullify the main advantage of blasters or more easily retreat and escape from any pursers. That's not even mentioning all the practical uses a lightsaber has as a tool outside of combat.

And sure, it's not that blasters in and of themselves don't suit the Jedi way. Stun blasters or emp/electrial blasters could be useful if they suited the situation.

But again, it's not about whats optimal or easiest, its about what those options take away from the table.

If you see someone running towards you with a blaster, you might risk pulling out your own and shooting your way out, depending on how desperate you are. After all, if you are thinking your life could end at any moment on another's whim, it's becomes more enticing to take the initiate and put yourself on even ground.

But if you see someone with a lightsaber? Where the danger at range comes not from being shot, but from your own attacks being turned against you? It might make you hesitant to attack, more willing another way out of the situation, whether through surrender, fleeing, or talking things out.

Does it always work out this? No, of course not. Fear makes people act impulsively, recklessly. But at the very worst, it can make it easier for a Jedi to deescalated and take control of a fight, where a blaster might only escalate the situation beyond anyone's control.

All of this is not to mention how the use of blasters can affect a Jedi's mentality. Cere Junda and Cal Kestis both rely on blasters in their darkest moments, when Cere returns to the Fortress Inquisitorius and when Cal is pursuing someone who betrayed him and killed those he cared about. Ezra's switching to use a proper blaster instead of rebuilding his stunning blaster/saber combo marks a dangerous shift in his thinking.

After all, it's all so easy to shot and kill someone, you barely have to move or think. Aren't some enemies not worth the effort of using your lightsaber? Maybe they're so inconsequential they're not even worthy to die by the weapon of a Jedi... they're less than worthless, less than a real person, they need to get out of the way or be forced out of it, how dare they oppose you!?!?

... ... ...

A lightsaber is a Jedi's weapon because it reflects what a Jedi is.

A lightsaber can be as dangerous to its user as it can be to their opponents. It requires training, self discipline, a sense of purposefulness that a blaster simply doesn't. The Jedi know what happens when they seek a quick and easy path....

A self-imposed limitation. A defensive weapon. A purposeful weapon.

An elegant weapon for a more civilized age.

[seafoamreadings]

week of august 25th, 2024

these are written predominantly for the *rising* signs but they are also intuitively "channeled" enough that they should work for any dominant energy you have! (try your sun if you don't know rising, or more advanced readers can try moon, anywhere you have a stellium, etc and see what works best for you!)

aries: mercury going direct at last in leo in just a few days here will likely be fun for you and i don't even mean that sarcastically. something that got put on hold in the last few weeks gets new traction. by the end of the week uranus stations retrograde, though, so with that most likely in your second house, avoid excessive spending or burning through resources you aren't totally sure about.

taurus: while you can expect some (likely not unpleasant) surprises this week you can also expect them to be fickle or to have unseen strings attached. it's not a bad idea to accept or pursue them if you like them, but don't get too wrapped up in it all. things are fleeting. it's not an easy energy for a steady and stalwart taurean to grasp but, frankly, you're not supposed to grasp it.

gemini: the big news of the week for you is the end of your ruling planet's retrograde. things do not return to normal or comfortable just yet, due to the shadow period that follows, but this is the end of the actual retrograde phase and especially from the end of the week, things should start to get easier and less snafus ensue.

cancerians: this week may well bring new life into any stale or stagnant relationships or friendship situations. mercury stations direct in your second house also. take stock of what resources you have and what is lacking, and use what you have (or don't use what you don't have!) accordingly.

leo: unexpected opportunities arise this week. they may be quite startling and weird but if you feel drawn to them and it's within your means at all, you should take them, especially towards the beginning of this week. by the end of the week, uranus retrograde may have them a little bit less fruitful, or perhaps simply more difficult, but you can trust your best judgment even then. too much input from others is not advised.

virgo: the importance of ceres to your sign should not be understated. this week she goes direct in capricorn just as uranus goes retrograde in taurus. while they don't perfect the grand trine it's truly well-connected earth vibes for you. even inconveniences turn out to work in your favor. nourish yourself carefully and lovingly.

libra: venus coming home to your sign should help provide some comfort if times have been trying and even if they haven't, it's auspicious for you. meanwhile, uranian activity continues so be very careful who you share your resources (money, time, energy?) with.

scorpio: take care of your personal needs first of course, but then as much as you are able to, be in your local community and neighborhood. clean up a little trash, do a little volunteer work, help a neighbor out, etc. with the current activity this is the auspicious way to keep things going as smooth as possible. at minimum, it makes you look good, but best if you do it from the heart and not for status alone. this can help you cope with any relationship drama, btw.

sagittarius: venus into libra can have you in soap opera mode, turning friends into lovers and vice versa left and right. meanwhile mercury direct again in leo fires up your thirst for the truth, philosophically and spiritually. there's no reason you can't lean into both vibes.

capricorn: ceres goes direct in your sign this week and, believe it or not, one of the first events of *next* week is the retrograding ingress of pluto back into the extremes of your sign for the last time in any of our lifetimes. let ceres vibes help you nurture yourself as you prefer for any final demolitions caused by the king of the underworld.

aquarius: the air of churning and muckraking is still afoot. but at least some of it is in a pleasant manner thanks to venus. generally the muddiness of such upheaval is not so pleasant, but sometimes it does turn up trinkets from the bottom of the sea.

pisces: friends may come and go but your inner world is forever. without getting lost in the dream state, pay attention to it and respect and honor it. your dream life is just as real as your waking life. of course, you don't need to hear it from me, you're the expert. but in a time in a world where people are inclined to be blind to the magic around them, don't lose your contact with it too and don't let them convince you it's frivolous.

[fanfoolishness]

Cal Kestis needs to be needed.

I'm replaying Fallen Order and able to pay a little bit more attention this time (the first time around, I was mostly just dazzled). Cal has just landed on Kashyyyk having taken down an AT-AT to help partisans fighting the Empire. Saw Gerrera thanks him for the help, but when he hears Cal's here on Jedi business, he's skeptical and scoffs that the Jedi are dead.

It gets interesting here. Cal holds out his lightsaber, a challenge to Saw's offhand comment. And Saw needles him. Asks him if he got the lightsaber off a corpse. Cal fixes Saw with one of those thousand yard stares the boy is too good at and tells him quietly that his master gave it to him.

Saw is a master at what he does. He's charismatic, he gets people to lay down their lives for him and his causes. He knows how to handle them. He sees this fresh-faced kid in front of him with a lightsaber, who immediately starts asking about how to help the Wookiees, and Saw realizes he's got his angle.

(I think Cere clocked that he was sizing Cal up right away, and was concerned well before Saw left the planet.)

So when Cal meets up with Saw in the forest trench to find out the plan, Saw knows just how to play him. He gives Cal the mission of entering the Imperial base and freeing the Wookiees. Is this strictly necessary for Saw's plan to work? Probably not, but it'll be a useful distraction, and more importantly, Saw knows how Jedi are drawn to helping innocents like moths to a flame. If the kid becomes loyal to him for this mission, he'll be a useful tool in the future; if he fails, the main plan isn't jeopardized and he's still a good distraction.

So he lays a hand on Cal's shoulder and tells Cal to free the prisoners. With his lightsaber. The same weapon he just called Cal a graverobber about. Someone older and wiser might have seen a red flag there! But Cal Kestis?

Cal is ecstatic to be needed. To be helpful. He's so proud already he has to brag to BD about it immediately.

Cal instantly looks up to Saw. I think he recognized Saw's leadership skills, his charisma, and his battle prowess, and was taken right back to Master Tapal; but he's not old enough or experienced enough to see the way Saw is looking at him and figuratively licking his chops. All Cal sees is someone who's fighting against the Empire, making a difference, and thinks that he could make a difference again, too.

Cal is the classic smart kid who achieved too quickly, never learned how to fail, wound up spending a lot of time with adults who praised his skills -- and he hungers for that praise still. You can see how he lights up in general when he realizes he's done something really skillful -- taking out that AT-ST walker puts an actual grin on his face, the same grin he probably got as a Padawan when he knew he'd executed something tricky. He loves to be told he's done well, especially after five years in the Bracca scrapyards where standing out could mean being found by the Empire.

(Look at this smug little dork, getting hydrated after destroying a scout walker. Also, two seconds later Cere asks how he's doing with the Force and Cal cheerfully says well, he's not dead yet! and he'd rather not talk about it! But that's a whole rant for another post.)

The Jedi Order specifically put Cal with Master Tapal because they realized he had a problem with not knowing how to handle failure, but because their training was cut short, Cal never did learn the lesson. He blames himself completely when something goes wrong (Cere reminds him that saving the Wookiees and the Partisans is out of his control, a warning he shrugs off instantly even before they get to the fight); he can get a success, but he craves more. He's always looking for that person who can tell him that he's done right, who can give that external validation to help him feel useful. He sees instantly that Saw -- clever, resourceful, respected -- could be a person like that, and Cal just glows around him despite having known him for all of five minutes.

Cal doesn't realize he was being handled, and very skillfully so.

He still doesn't realize that going into Survivor, is still working for Saw, but there's a reason Cere isn't on these missions with him; not only does she have her own goals, but she doesn't trust Saw or his methods. I'm sure she sees that need Cal has to feel needed, to feel useful, and frets about it privately; there are some things that are just too entrenched to root up entirely. Once Cal starts growing comfortable with his powers again, the urge to help, to succeed, to do right by those he looks up to is very, very strong.

After all, how do you think Bode found his angle?

[breakfastteatime]

Well, instead of fixing the political landscape of the US and the rest of the world, how about I let everyone take a sneak peek at a fic I'm working on?

This is unedited, untitled and very very very unfinished...

***

Cere stares at Cal.

Cal stares at Cere.

BD, Merrin and Greez stare at both of them.

No one speaks. A faint wind blows across the clearing, carrying the scent of sea salt.

BD twitches. Merrin grabs him before he can do or beep anything. Greez seems to be holding his breath.

A lightsaber ignites, a soft buzz in the dawn light. Cere moves first.

Cal blocks. 

Cere's jabs are short, sharp and accurate. Cal moves fast, single-blade meeting Cere's every time.

BD cheers Cal on. Merrin marvels at Cere's form. She’s so much more refined than Cal, not a single movement wasted. Greez covers his eyes with his hands, then covers those hands with his other hands. He cracks his fingers and peers through.

Cere pushes Cal hard, forcing him to tighten his forms, rely more on real Jedi techniques and less on improvised flashiness. Probably because Cere has his second blade and gave him strict orders not to attempt to pull it from her hand. That, she told him, is a cheap trick and not one he should ever rely on. She is wise. And devious. Merrin admires her greatly.

Cere is holding back; not because Cal cannot match her (although Merrin would absolutely bet against him), but because there is a lesson to be learned here. One perhaps Merrin needs to learn too. Flair is arrogance. A Jedi should not show off. They must set their sights on their target and deal with it as succinctly as possible.

A Nightsister can do the same, but only so when she does indulge, her enemies are all the more stunned by her power and prowess.

Honestly (and Merrin will never share this with anyone), she thinks the Jedi needed to cut loose once in a while.

The fight continues. Cere never falters, her relentless lunges and jabs seeking every gap in Cal's defence. He has the endurance to withstand Cere's prolonged offence, but he doesn't have her experience, and when she does eventually break his guard and land a blow, Cal seems delighted to have held out as long as he did. 

He is a very strange person.

"Can we please have breakfast now?" Greez pleads.

“Of course,” Cere says, looking bright and light on her toes. She pats Cal on the shoulder, returns her borrowed lightsaber, and tells him to put some bacta on the burn, and heads aboard the ship. “We need to finalise the supply list.”

BD’s list of demands is lengthy. Cal nods. “Yeah, that’s what we’ll do first, and I’ll get you the best oil I can find.”

“It’s not all about what you want, BD!” Greez hollers.

Merrin wishes she understood BD. She’d love to understand all that beeping and why it’s making Cal laugh like that.

After breakfast, they head into the nearby town armed with destinations to visit and lists from Cere. Merrin can’t wait. She’s never been anywhere like this, Built into the cliff, the people here have two main trades – fishing and mining, and the mining is largely done at the behest of the Empire. Merrin suspects Cal wants to shut the mines down. She also knows Cere won’t let him. The planet’s entire economy relies on those mines just as much as they need the fishing for food. Personally, Merrin can barely wrap her head around galactic economics, but she knows enough to understand they can’t make things worse for ordinary people. They see it time and time again; planets apparently thriving under the Empire, the people completely unaware of the suffering being endured elsewhere in the galaxy. Merrin cannot understand it. For all the cravenness they see, sometimes she simply has to accept that the Empire is very good at controlling their own narrative and nothing they do will convince people the Empire isn’t the best thing that ever happened.

Sometimes, she truly misses the simplicity of her life on Dathomir.

She also misses the warmth. She’s wearing several layers and it’s still not enough. And then, when they reach the town, there are signs everywhere for an ice rink. Cal forgets his list and the shops Cere told him to go to.

“Merrin, we gotta go!” Cal’s eyes light up.

“What is an ice rink?” she asks.

“You skate! On ice! You’ll love it.”

“Stores and supplies first,” Cere says before Merrin can tell Cal ‘no’. “Potentially limb breaking activities later.”

They split up and go their separate ways with a promise to meet up at the ice rink later. Merrin moves through the streets, staring openly at what she sees. Shops carved into the cliffs, others bolted on and towering into the sky, all of them thrumming with people of all species and genders. Cere specifically chose a busy time of day for them to enter the town so no one would notice them. They’re just another batch of tourists come to marvel at the cliff city of Turrey, mid-rim gateway to the stars (according to all the posters she sees pasted on streetlights and mounted on store walls). She likes this world, likes its energy. The people here are hard-working, proud, honest. She can feel it, is empowered by it. Not that she’ll be wielding her magick for all to see while they’re here. Not unless the Empire decides to do something exceedingly heinous which, given that she has yet to come across a single stormtrooper, seems unlikely.

Once she’s gathered up the supplies on her list (various foodstuffs, some ingredients that will suffice for her potion craft, a local tea she thinks Cere might like), Merrin heads to the local café where they’d all agreed to meet. It’s built into a cave, huge glowing orbs hanging from the ceiling, soft bass music playing under the current of conversation and busy barista activity. Cere is there already, sipping caf and watching the world go by. Merrin orders herself a very elaborate juice, complete with ice, froth and a little umbrella, and joins her at the table.

“What do you think?” Cere says. “How does this world rank with all the others you’ve been to so far?”

Sipping her juice, wincing at the sharp sweetness, Merrin lakeers for a moment. Cliff city, chilly weather, sunny though… “If we can finish what we need to do without encountering a single stormtrooper, it will rank highly.”

Greez, Cal and BD join them a short while later, both laden down with supplies and caf. BD is the first to launch into a lengthy explanation about… something. Merrin still does not understand him. Cal translates.

“The people here kept telling me to ‘mind my droid’ as they tend to be unreliable and prone to malfunctions on this world,” he says. BD blurts out something else. “I know, buddy, you’re fine. No malfunctions detected.”

“Malfunction how?” Cere asks.

“Unreliable memories, a tendency to lie, that kind of thing,” Cal says. “It’s probably why most of the droids we came across in the stores we went in didn’t have vocalisers.”

“Eh, wouldn’t be the first world we’ve been on that doesn’t like or trust droids,” Greez says. “Anyway, enough about that. What’s next on the agenda, and please tell me it’s chilling out and having a good day.”

Cal immediately talks about the ice rink, raving about how it’s actually a large lake on top of the cliff outside the town hall and the river its connected to runs all the way through the mountain and down to the sea. He’s so excited, Merrin feels like she’s talking to someone much younger. She wonders for a moment if this was what he was like as a child, happy and excitable. If he is, no wonder he and BD get on so well.

“…heard anything I said, Merrin?”

She blinks, stirring her drink with the straw. “We will go to this ice lake rink you speak of. I would like to see you skate.”

BD giggles and tells Cal something that makes Cal roll his eyes and jab BD’s chassis. “I’d like to see you do any better!”

They go back and forth, teasing each other, although Merrin can only pick up one side of the conversation.

“We’ll drop everything off on the ship, then come back to watch Cal go flailing across the ice,” Greez says.

“Merrin too unless she’s too scared,” Cal says, sing-song, teasing. BD provides backing vocals. “We can race, see who can get from one side of the rink to the other the fastest.”

Merrin is never one to turn down a challenge.

When they head up to the top of the cliff later, Merrin is amazed at the sights. The town hall is as immense and sturdy as the ground it looks as though it has grown out of. Beyond, Merrin can see the entrances to the mines, the hovertrain lines busy with cargo and passenger vehicles.

“Don’t get any ideas about taking a ride on one of those,” Greez tells Cal. “One train rescue is enough for an entire lifetime.”

“You didn’t exactly rescue me from the train,” Cal says.

“Almost,” Greez says. “We almost rescued you from that train.”

“Wish you had.” Cal’s hand rubs his chest. “I wouldn’t have broken so many bones.”

“Wait, you broke bones?”

The ice rink stands at the heart of the town square, a space easily as large as the swamps of Dathomir. Cal pays for tickets and skate rental. He only pays for himself and Merrin, and he leads her into a small, benched area where people are changing in and out of skates.

“Here you go!” Cal hands her the skates.

Dubious, Merrin stares at the boots in her hand, boots with thin blades bolted to the soles. She stares at Cal, who has already switched his regular boots for these skates. "You have ice-skated before?" she asks.

"Nope! Not like this. I’m not sure I can count sliding down frozen rivers on Zeffo as skating."

BD beeps. Cal scoffs. "No, you haven't! It doesn't count if you're not the one actually touching the ice."

In response, BD hops down and onto the ice. Merrin watches him slip and slide in the ice rink, barely avoiding the skaters. People dressed in warm clothes zip by, some with skill and confidence, others poised like they're terrified they might fall through into the water below.

"I'll have some hot drinks waiting for you when you're finished," Greez says.

"You do not have so far to fall," Merrin says. "Would it not be better for you to go skating?"

He laughs so hard he nearly crashed into the people walking by. "No, no way. This is a young person's sport."

An elderly couple whizz by. Merrin raises an eyebrow.

"They're Human! Totally different." Greez waves her away. "Go on, go! Have fun!"

Merrin looks to Cere.

“Not a chance,” Cere says. “I’ve got the med kit on standby.”

Accepting she has lost this argument, Merrin removes her boots and tugs on the skates, lacing them as tight as she can stand. Cal waits for her on the lake edge, BD back in his usual place. Apparently, he also decided against skating.

“Ready?” Cal asks her, hand held out to her.

She takes it. “If I go down, you are coming with me.”

He laughs and slides onto the ice, tugging her along with him. She keeps her balance, as does he, and she watches the more confident skaters, how they keep their heads held up and move with confidence. She can do that. How hard can it even be?

She releases Cal’s hand and pushes off, movement steady and confident. Her speed picks up, the cold air whistling by. She moves past slower skaters, eyes locked on the path ahead. She can do it. She’s doing it!

A small child whizzes in front of her, oblivious to the oncoming danger. Merrin’s instinct is to teleport out of the way. She resists, instead accepting the inevitable crash. The child, however, is faster than expected, and launches into a twirling leap, trailing glee and pride in her wake. Merrin is impressed, and she skates on.

“You gonna try that?”

Cal’s sudden presence behind her nearly sends Merrin failing to the ice. She saves her balance just in time. Cal cackles. She turns (it is not graceful) and gives him a hefty shove. He slides backward, with more grace than she mustered.

It’s times like she is reminded why she did not like him when she first set eyes on him on Dathomir.

“Go,” she tells him. “Show off. I will practice here and beat you at our race.”

“Didja hear that, BD? Merrin’s still up for the race!”

BD does his own twirl across Cal’s shoulders.

“Let us know when you’re ready!” Cal calls as he glides away.

He even does a little spin.

“The child’s was better.”

He sticks out his tongue as he skates away with the confidence of a pro.

By the time Merrin feels ready to race Cal, the ice rink has quietened down. She meets him on the far end. “I will race you,” she says. “No powers.”

He nods. “No powers.”

“BD? No help from you either.”

Whatever BD says in response causes Cal to laugh. She ignores them both. “On three.”

“One – ”

Merrin crouches, ready for launch. “Two…”

“Three!”

Cal takes off, BD squealing. Merrin digs deep and pushes hard, ignoring the voice in her head reminding her she doesn’t know how to stop. Cal is far ahead, weaving around people with obnoxious ease.

If only she could teleport. Then he’d lose. But she already knows Cere and Greez (especially Greez) would prefer if they kept their heads down unless they really needed to –

The lake quakes. The mood changes from joy to confusion. Merrin slows without stopping. People slow to a stop, looking at each other.

From somewhere off to the side of the ice rink, a voice shouts. “Get off the ice!”

Another quake, worse this time. Several people are thrown off their feet.

The ice cracks with strange twangs and pops Merrin has never heard before.

Cries go out, people no longer skating smoothly and instead flailing, trying to keep from falling off the chunks of ice and into the water.

Merrin falls to her knees, her balance lost. A man ahead of her skids to a stop, turns back and holds out his hand. “Let me help,” he says.

Thanking him, Merrin accepts his help. “What’s happening?”

He shakes his head. “I don’t know. We need to get off the lake.”

They move, hopping from ice floe to ice floe. Merrin catches sight of Cal and BD, Cal on his knees and reaching into the water. Merrin doesn’t have time to see what he’s doing, not when she and the man have to jump over a chunk of ice that has rolled onto its side. Turning to look again, she sees Cal dive into the water. Pulling her hand free from the man’s, she tells him to keep going.

“What are you doing?” he asks.

“I have to help my friend,” Merrin says. “He’s in the water!”

A look of unfathomable terror goes across the man’s face. “It’s too late.”

He flees without another word.

Confused now, Merrin no longer holds back. She teleports to where she last saw Cal, a terrible chill emanating from the water.

A chill and something else.

Something worse.

A presence.

Large.

Angry.

Cal resurfaces, BD on his back and a child in his arms. It’s the same child who’d leapt and twirled across the ice wish such ease earlier, only now they are limp and unconscious. Cal looks, spots Merrin, and thrusts the child at her. “Hurry,” he says, eyes narrowed with a particular focus Merrin recognises so well now. “There’s something in the water.”

Merrin grabs the child. She isn’t moving. She might not be breathing. Knowing Cal and BD can take care of themselves, Merrin teleports herself and the girl off the lake and onto dry land. People stare in shock.

“Help me!” Merrin shouts at them. “The girl needs you!”

A cry goes out and a woman rushes forward. Merrin senses the bond between woman and girl. Mother and daughter. “She’s not breathing!” the mother cries.

Merrin leans over, begins compressions. She senses Cere and Greez approach, but she doesn’t look up, not until the child coughs and stirs. Her mother wails with relief, scooping the child up.

“Thank you,” she says to Merrin. “Thank you so much.”

She dashes off, heading for local emergency workers racing their way. Merrin doesn’t see any stormtroopers. She sees Greez, puffed up, proud, and carrying Merrin’s boots. The sight almost makes her laugh. He hands them over. “You’re gonna need ‘em. Hurry.”

Grabbing them, Merrin wastes no time changing into them. Cere has already moved beyond them, blaster in her hand, headed to the edge of the lake. The water churns, waves slapping the banks.

Neither Cal nor BD are anywhere in sight. Merrin can’t see anyone else in the water too. The rink has nearly emptied out, only a few stragglers hanging around to stand and stare. Something else rings in her mind. That energy she’d felt earlier. The world’s industrious energy. It’s gone, replaced by something new. Something strange.

Whatever it is, she doesn’t have time to dwell. The water’s currents change, all the water pulled into the centre of the lake.

“It’s coming,” Cere says. She looks to Merrin, devoid of emotion. “Be ready.”

“Greez, get these people out of here,” Merrin says.

While Greez does as he’s told, pushing back a crowd of onlookers, Merrin joins Cere. Cere’s hand tightens around her blaster, finger on the trigger as water explodes into the sky. Merrin watches, her mouth dropping open, as three things emerge from the spray.

Cal.

BD.

And a creature out of a nightmare.

Grey and black, covered in thick scales, it resembles a snake, albeit one double the size of the Mantis with teeth as long as the ship is tall. Unlike a snake, it possesses four legs, each one bearing claws that could eviscerate any organic matter with a single swipe. It could probably grab the Mantis and eat it in one bite, and that thought clangs around Merrin’s mind when she watches a blue blade ignite. Cal flips around and lands on the monster’s back, scoring a lengthy wound in its scaly hide. The creature roars, its pain screaming through the Force.

Merrin can feel it, an untamed mind pushing at her own, pressing a sense of calm, of stillness, even as it shakes Cal off. He plummets again, BD’s boosters flaring as he tries to catch up. They’re going to hit the water, and the creature is already turning to go after them.

Merrin wonders if she should be more worried about that, but it all seems a bit far away now. She should just stand here. Stand here and enjoy the sights. She likes this world. It’s so pretty, and the sea is so vast, the mines so deep. What a lovely place this must be to live in.

Cere’s hands rise. She grabs Cal and BD with the Force, slowing their fall, but not enough. They both hit the water, because Cere’s pushing back against the creature, stopping it from diving into the lake.

“Get Cal and BD!” Cere shouts at Merrin, voice straining. “Hurry!”

“If you insist,” Merrin says, although she’s really not sure it’s necessary. She teleports from ice floe to ice floe, keeping her balance, reaching the spot where Cal and BD sank. BD appears first, shaking his head. Cal appears a moment later, looking dazed and frozen.

“We are going,” Merrin announces, grabbing both and teleporting back across the lake. She doesn’t hear either complain about their sudden movement. She doesn’t really hear much of anything except a song in her head that tells her peace, Merrin, be at peace. She reaches another patch of ice, right beside dry land where Cere’s shouting…

Merrin thinks she’s shouting. She can’t hear the words.

Peace, Merrin. Peace.

Something tugs on her arm. She pushes it off. Overhead, the creature resumes its fall, its mouth open wide, teeth splayed, its throat a blackhole.

It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay.

She closes her eyes.

Hands, cold and wet, ram against her. She hits the ground hard, a heavy weight falling on top of her. Water smacks into her, so cold she gasps with the shock of it.

The peace shatters.

The quiet too.

Footsteps. Fast.

Hands, grabbing.

“Merrin? Merrin!”

She blinks, looks up, sees the worry in Cere’s gaze. Why? What’s happening? Merrin looks around, finds herself on the ground beside the lake.

“What happened?” she asks.

Cere’s expression tells Merrin that was not the right thing to say. Heart sinking, worry mounting, Merrin tries to get up.

The heavy weight pins her down.

Cere leaves her line of sight. BD’s nearby – Merrin can hear him. He sounds worried. Why? What’s happening? Merrin’s head goes for a loop, pain seeping in. The weight moves, and she’s free to sit up. She does so, bracing herself as the vertigo keeps everything spinning. She breathes through the worst of it, and sees Cere leaning over Cal, fingers checking for a pulse, calling his name.

More footsteps approach, and this time it’s Greez with some locals dressed like medics.

Merrin decides she’s too tired to figure anything out. There’s an alarm sounding out in her head, but whatever’s causing it is lost behind the encroaching darkness. She falls back, only for four arms to catch her.

The last thing she sees is Greez leaning over her.

The last thing she hears is him telling her to stay with him, stay with –

[animatedjen]

Jaro Tapal's Lightsaber | Jedi Survivor

So I genuinely love this lightsaber design, aesthetically and narratively. How it represents Cal's past and his journey forward (though I wish he still used the Jaro/Cere restored saber design in Survivor because symbolism) and I want him to keep it through the entire trilogy.

BUT: Senator Sejan talks about Jaro Tapal while holding the lightsaber. The saber parts are named after Jaro in both FO and Survivor. This is now Cal's lightsaber but it is also not Cal's lightsaber-- external marketing/merch might call it Cal's, but the game still clearly acknowledges its origin.

I don't think he inherently needs a canon “Cal Kestis” saber design or has to craft his own, though we know this boy is good at building and repairing and cobbling Frankenstein-sabers together on the fly. And we've seen Jedi use another's saber before eventually crafting their own (Luke, Ahsoka, Ezra, Rey etc) so the precedence is there. I'm mainly curious if there's story-intention here or I'm reading too far into it.

[nieded]

what are Ezira and AJ like on a long road trip? Which car from their garage would they take? What snacks do they bring? Which one gets pulled over for going eighty in a thirty?

aj and ezira did go on a road trip across california when they were first starting out as a couple! though of course, it would have taken a lot of work to import a car to the states, and so they had a rental. if they could have taken one of their cars, they would have settled on the la ferrari, which could handle the switchbacks of the serria nevada.

maybe someday they will take the road trip that newt and ligur talked about from montpellier to cologne.

the actual reality is that they would take the gti, if they had a choice from their own garage. hypercars are notoriously unreliable. they are not meant for road trips. they aren't really meant to be driven, honestly. replacing brakes on a la ferrari (which is a common maintenance item!!!) costs 40k. the SO works next door to an italian repair shop that exclusively does ferraris, lambos, alfas, and fiats. they have had a lamborghini aventador sitting in the shop for months because it requires a new set of special tires, which they only release every couple of years. so it's just waiting for a random shipment that may or may not come in the next year. the lifespan on hypercars for maintenance items like oil changes and brakes are much much shorter than the average car.

also, where would their luggage go? they will definitely need boot space. crowley's a pain to fly with because he always has extra luggage for stuff: skincare, haircare, nail polish, nail polish remover, extra hats that he will not wear, extra shoes that he will also not wear, but he has them just in case they do the beach or a hike. (and still, he wears his boots.) chargers for his electronics and back up batteries just in case. and weed. road trips are excellent when transporting the goods.

but crowley has no opinion on snacks. thankfully, ezira has all the opinions on snacks. healthy choices such as snacking peppers and carrots and seaweed chips to just cake. lots of biscuits. he has a kettle in the back so they can make periodic petrol stops to boil hot water. and should they stop and pick up more ice for the cooler? just in case? and in the end, they only eat half of it because every four hours, he's on google maps researching local restaurants and cafes for nibbles.

and realistically, neither of them will get pulled over for speeding, but if one of them had to, it'd be crowley. ezira hates driving around civilians. it's much safer to be going 190 on a race track. but average joes are unpredictable. get off your phone! use the indicator (to the beemer, i'm looking at you). oops you missed your exit and are now crossing six lanes of interstate... everybody's out here being lance stroll. ezira absolutely hates it, and if you spend 15 minutes on r/idiotsincars, you will too. there's very little ezira sticks his nose up at, but civilians. *shudders*

but they wouldn't drive over the speed limit, not too much. that's for work. crowley will take it slow through the alps so ezira can take pictures of the clear blue lakes and snow-capped mountains. they'll take turns with the bluetooth, donna summer and pink floyd for crowley, abba and death cab for ezira, and they'll talk about the race season and the spots they want to revisit in america and italy and japan. they'll wonder what ceres has destroyed at marnie and lili's and what the nibling is up to. if she's crawling yet because that means she's almost walking and if she's running they can stick her in a go kart.

but the silence would be good too at night, windows down, one of crowley's feet out the window when it's ezira's turn to drive (less people, more deer, but he will take his chances). and they'll stop on the side of the road in the middle of nowhere between two cities and look up and up and up at the sky, stars twinkling above. and crowley will think about how he's crossed finish lines filled with fireworks, stood on the platform in monza once upon a time when the tifosi flooded the track, sat in the cockpits of wheeled rocketships, unbelievable feats of engineering from mankind, and think nothing could compare to the darkest night in the quiet with his beloved.

it's not about going fast. it's about drawing it out, sitting in the cabin with each other and no one else, as if they could sneak one more minute, one more hour together before they're pulled across the globe in opposite directions. they love it. they love the racing and the adrenaline and the fireworks (but not the jet lag and missed calls and wondering if the other is sleeping ok). they love that feeling of peeling their racing gloves off after hours of sweating and swearing, the long drink of water after a long drive. but. but they love each other more.

[geekywritings]

“Home stopped being a place when you entered my life.”

(Quick info: I’m also taking writing prompts and suggestions for this handsome Jedi! ;) )

_______

How long have the two of you been traveling together? It must have been months. So many weeks of planning, fighting and surviving. Every day, Cal gave you new hope that all of this wasn’t in vain, that you stood at least some chance against the mighty Empire, that any of your actions actually mattered.

But as the war continued, you began to grow tired. No matter how big your victories, the Empire just seemed to grow stronger by the day. You had lost so many comrades and friends on the way already…

Looking up from the holo table, you stared at Cal, as he explained the next mission to your little group. Merrin was listening with a passive expression on her face, while Greeze looked openly skeptical. This was dangerous, but the red-haired Jedi seemed convinced that you were on the path to uncovering something grand. Something to help the rebellion in a new way.

“I don’t know, kid…”, Greeze started after Cal had finished. “It could be chasing nothing more than a legend…”

“Or it could be a real chance.”, the Jedi argued back and once again you found yourself admiring his optimism. Or perhaps it was desperation cloaked in hope. “We just have to try…”

“I agree.”, Merrin jumped to his aid. “It could be a safe haven for all of us. For Cere and her project. And for thousands of others.”

Suddenly all eyes were on you, as they awaited your opinion on the matter.

“It might be nothing more than a legend…”, you began. “But I trust you, Cal. So let’s see what we can find.”

What he promised was nothing less than a new home for those trying to escape the ruthless reign of the Empire. A place to start anew and build something untainted by war. If this mystical place was more than a rumor, of course.

Honestly, it sounded too good to be true to you. There had been only one home you had ever known: The Jedi Temple on Coruscant. Everything that came after that was just a hiding place, a temporary shelter, a location where you constantly had to watch your back or tongue.

The Mantis felt different, but it wasn’t home either. Not really.

The crew split up, each returning to their tasks. Greeze busied himself with dinner, while Merrin went to study some artifact she had recovered from her latest trip. You wandered back into your room, hoping to meditate a little, but couldn’t get into the right state of mind. Thoughts of this possible hidden haven kept spinning in your head, making you almost restless.

The whizz of the door opening had you looking up, surprised to find Cal entering.

“Hey… thanks for your support back there.”, he spoke, hand nervously going through his hair.

“I mean what I said, Cal. I trust you. Or I wouldn’t be here.”, you began. “Besides, at least half of your crazy ideas worked well enough so far, right?” A little humor to lighten the mood, and it worked, as both of your lips drew upward a little.

“But you also looked hesitant.”, the Jedi became serious again, moving to sit on your bed, while you stayed on the floor, eyes locked on his form. Curious green eyes stared back at you, waiting for you to speak.

“It’s not about the mission itself.”, you began, trying to sort your thoughts into cohesive sentences. “I.. I just find it hard to consider any place home again, after…” You left the rest unsaid, knowing full well that Cal would understand.

He nodded solemnly, reaching out a hand to place on your shoulder. “I know what you mean.”, he began slowly, as you tried your best to concentrate. His mere touch had your heart beating so damn loud, heat rushing through you. It had started weeks ago, and you still struggled to get these feelings under control.

You couldn’t be falling in love. Especially not with Cal Kestis. A fellow Jedi survivor. And a man dead-set on whatever mission he chose for himself. He would never love you back, you were certain, and you wanted to avoid the heartache.

Yet every time he reached for you, sought your company in private, you found yourself falling for him all over again.

“But even if it’s not a home for us, it could be for others.”

You nodded quietly. He was right. This wasn’t just about you. It was about so many others that deserved a better life. You were thinking about what to say, when Cal continued, voice low, but steady.

“Besides, home stopped being a place when you entered my life.”

Eyes widening, you stared at him with lips parting in surprise. What? What did he mean by that? You were sure your heartbeat could be heard all across the galaxy at this point, as you tried to wrangle your feelings into place.

The hand on your shoulder wandered higher, pushing some of your hair behind your ear, before coming to rest on your cheek. He was smiling now, his eyes full of gentleness and… was that affection? Longing? Love?

“Cal…”

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.”

He was about to retreat his hand, but you were quick to place yours on top, holding him against your cheek.

“Do you mean this only as a friend, Cal? As a comrade on the battlefield?”

You had to know. Had to be certain before you laid your heart open to him. Seconds ticked by like small eternities before you heard him breathe one simple word: “No.”

He couldn’t prepare for what you did next. Heck, you yourself weren’t prepared for it. You just closed the distance between the two of you, pressing your lips to his.

Cal froze for a second, but before you could think he might not enjoy it, he was kissing you back, hand moving from your cheek to the back of your head, making sure to keep you close. Your own arms had sneaked around his neck, keeping him equally tight against you, as you gave in to the longing you had felt for so long.

“I love you…”, you breathed between kisses.

“And I love you, starlight.”, he said, slowly pulling away to look at you. “And for as long as we are together, it doesn’t matter where we are.”

It was true. He was your home as much as you were his. But that wouldn’t stop you from trying to find a shelter for others. You simply had to try.

[wrencatte]

mini fic 8 ! Fallen Order - Bogano First Visit - Cal & Greez & Cere Cal likes to sleep in...interesting places. Greez POV - 1.6k words

ao3 minific link - chapter 7 (beard)

Cal comes back from exploring more of Bogano limping, but in good spirits. Giddy, even!

Greez would almost be suspicious of it, not quite trusting the kid still, if it weren’t for how…young he looks with his cheeks flushed and his hair wild, holding an animated conversation with that droid that’s apparently sticking around. It takes years off him. Makes him look his age and like he wasn’t – like he wasn’t part of what was a genocide of his people.

Oh…great. Now Greez is sad just from looking at him.

He goes back to focusing on sprucing up the Mantis, determined to ignore his growing fondness for a kid who could scrap his ship for credits in a heartbeat. Scrappy describes the kid in more ways than one and Greez is not getting attached, stop. But he is. Because Cal is serious and jaded, but he also listens to Greez when he talks about the upgrades he’s done to the Mantis, asking intelligent questions and actually interested in the answer. He loves all food, never picky even when Cere’s nose wrinkles just a bit. When he laughs, it sounds like he means it despite all the terrible things he’s gone through. And – he’s just a kid. How could Greez dislike a kid who’s gone through such hardships and yet is still trying to do some good in galaxy?

He wonders vaguely if that’s a Jedi thing or a Cal Kestis thing – and decides maybe it’s a little bit of both. Cere’s a good person too. He can see the similarities in the two of them, raised on the same values and lessons, just trying their best in a galaxy that hates them.

Greez is so good at ignoring his own feelings and everything around him that an hour passes before he realizes…Cal isn’t hanging around anymore. The latero briefly considers being worried, but then dismisses the thought. He’s probably back out exploring Bogano. Sometimes the kid disappears for the entire day, gone before the sun rises and not back until it’s well below the horizon. How he can find so much to explore in this backwater swamp, he has no idea, but he’s not about to go out investigating himself.

Satisfied with that logic, it’s back to buffing out the blaster marks off the Mantis’ exterior. Hm, maybe a new paint job? Cal found something out in one of the workshops, didn’t he? Presented it with a grin and a twinkle in his eyes, laughing when Greez opened it and found an eye-watering pink inside. Pink is a little too distinctive, but Cal handed over another tin of an understated swamp green Greez actually likes. Maybe he’ll tag the kid to help.

He’s distracted by his thoughts by a flash of red-white out of the corner of his eye – BD-1, wandering around and scanning insects that he’s probably scanned a dozen times before.

….with no ginger-haired Jedi in tow.

Great.

Where BD is, Cal should also be. It’s a new rule of the galaxy. Never one without the other. The last time that happened, turns out Cal got tangled up in some rope and was hanging over a drop so high Greez couldn’t see the ground.

“Where is he?” he asks the little droid. He gets a simple beep in response which Greez totally understands. Completely. Yeah.

 – Greez stares blankly, not understanding at all. BD does a little head waggle, making a noise that sounds suspiciously like a droid’s version of laughter. That little shit.

“Hey! We can’t all be fluent in fifty billion languages. Give me a break.”

He may be over-estimating that number by a tad, but it’s definitely a high number. The translation matrix in the Mantis isn’t exactly top notch, but it has a pretty decent database and it still glitches when Cal gets worked up and switches to a new language he hadn’t used before.

The question is how does he know so many and the answer gives Greez a headache every time.

He will never understand the Force.

“Just…where is he? If he fell in a hole and broke is leg somewhere Cere’s gonna to kill me.”

Or ran into another, what did he call it? An oggdo? According to Cal, he barely escaped with his life. Still injured from their escape from Bracca and caught by surprise, the kid lost a good chunk of his poncho and had to be hosed down before being let back onto the ship, covered in toad gunk and mud. Now that he’s healed, he’s supposed to be figuring out their next move concerning the Vault, but maybe he’s decided to throw himself into a fight with an oggdo again – and lost, and that’s why BD’s here, looking for help.

BD-1 would be more frantic if that was the case, right?

“Where’s Cal?”

Ah, speak and she shall appear. The galaxy really is just out to get him.

Greez face-palms as he turns to see Cere standing on the Mantis’ ramp, looking a little sleep ruffled but getting more and more awake as her gaze bounces from Greez to BD-1 and never to Cal because Call isn’t here. The fact that she’s stopped long enough to fall asleep, let alone actually slept, is a kriffin’ miracle. She’s been non-stop ever since they picked up Imperial communications of a Jedi on Bracca and said Jedi turned out to be a teenager who decided to immediately pass out from his injuries once they entered hyperspace.

And that was nearly three weeks ago.

“Heeyy, Cere. Have a nice nap?”

She raises an unimpressed eyebrow. “I did, actually. Now, where’s Cal?”

Greez waves a hand. “Oh, you know him. He’s probably getting distracted by some new thing to explore.”

Cere crosses his arms, eyes flickering down to where BD-1 is watching them. “And I’m sure he made a conscious decision to do that without BD-1, didn’t he?”

“Maybe. You never know.” Greez feels oddly defensive, and he wonders if that’s a Jedi Master ability, making him feel like a kid who stole from the sweets jar when it reality it was his brother.

BD bwoops, it almost sounds like he’s laughing, hopping from foot to foot before he takes off, disappearing behind the ship’s ramp quick as a blink. Greez and Cere exchange bewildered looks. All they can do is follow. Where BD is, Cal will also be. And in turn, where Cal is, BD will be there. This they’ve learned – Cere when she nearly tripped over the droid sitting patiently as Cal meditated. Greez when he went to the second level of the Mantis for storage and found BD standing guard as Cal quietly had some sort of panic attack.

Kindred spirits, Cere had called them with a sad sort of smile on her face.

When they make their way under the Mantis – Cere having to duck – what greets them is, quite frankly, an adorable sight.

Cal is curled up in the shadows, poncho pulled tight around him, head cradled on his arm.

Deeply asleep. He’s not even talking like he sometimes does. His expression is relaxed, content even. A few of the brown, bouncing critters that dig burrow – boglings? – are piled up around him like a lump of dozing akk dogs. Ears twitch. Legs kick out as they dream. They’re snoring. These little sounds that Greez will never admit out loud he finds cute. If he listens closely enough, he can hear a deeper snore from beneath the pile – Cal.

BD beeps quietly, a job well done in letting them know where Cal is, then skitters over to the kid, picking carefully around various limbs until he can tuck himself under Cal’s arm and snuggle against his chest like he’s a bogling himself. Cal makes a soft sound and curls around the droid, holding him close.

“Would you look at that,” Cere says softly, expression aching.

Cal sleeping -- actually sleeping without nightmares or pain – is something neither of them are familiar with at all. And who can blame him? Greez can’t imagine that the kid’s been through. He’ll be having nightmares himself for a long while thanks to Bracca.

“Do we leave him here?” Greez asks, torn between wanting him to sleep and cringing at the amount of mud that’s gotta be soaking into his clothes.

BD whirls in quiet warning, daring them to try and wake Cal. Cere laughs, shaking her head.

“Do you want to be the one who wakes him up?” she asks, her tone amused. Greez grimaces. No thank you. “I thought so. It’s better if we let him sleep, especially if he’s sleeping so well. It’ll be easier to connect to the Force if he’s well rested.”

“So, we just…walk away? Leave him alone?” Sleeping outside isn’t exactly his idea of a good time.

“Are you planning on going any further from the ship?”

“Well, no.”

Cere gestures to the boglings that have, surprisingly, not run away yet. A couple are looking at the two of them with wide, wary eyes, but they seem too comfortable to move. “He has plenty of guards. We’re not going anywhere. You’re more than welcomed to hose him down before he boards.”

“Oh. Yeah. Good point.” Greez is absolutely hosing him down. Bogano mud stinks.

They leave him there, sleeping soundly with BD on guard, but they don’t go far. Cere disappears for only a couple minutes before she comes back out with a holonovel, a drink, and a chair, setting up right where she can juusstt see a peek of Cal under the ramp. Greez picks up the buffer again, pauses in thought, then hurries to grab the swamp green paint tin – after a nanosecond of hesitation, he scoops up the pink paint as well.

He’s sure there’s a non-obtrusive thing he can paint pink. Maybe it’ll get that one bright, looks-his-age smile from Cal again.

[stealingpotatoes]

askposting (but in the afternoon for a change)

feat stuff, the new tl4j au, anakin being anakin, and jedi survivor

putting this one above the cut Yep you absolutely can use my art as PFP/headers!!!! just PLEASE CREDIT ME IN UR BIO or smthn!!!

(ok rest below the cut)

you get why he was called wormie at school, i too would bully him. nerd.

do NOT let that child around other padawans, he WILL teach them how to make improvised explosives and every single swear word under the suns. if the jedi had a santa equivalent he would be the kid to say santa isnt real

LMAO well I have a few versions of how I want them to meet, tho I need to work out certain bits of the plot to know which one for sure!! but omg i love that, he inherited padme's and leia's often-questionable taste in men and it mutated to be even worse

-- JEDI SURVIVOR SPOILERS BELOW!! --

@starsciencees wah,, yeah!! i saw a fic (sorry can't remember what its called) where cal sets up a temporary archive in cere's old room on the mantis <3

@imperial-spy loll i've said in a couple posts i've finished the game now!! i LOVE bode he's so complicated and interesting and another primo example of how attachments bad (while cal shows how love is good!!! still!! theyre not always the same!!) and man.t he ending. ouch. oof. im a big enough person to admit when kata put her toy on bode's pyre i just suddenly lost it crying

I WAS VERY SUPPORTIVE OF HIM GOING DARKSIDE BC THATS HOW I WAS FEELING TOO!!!! when merrin was like this isnt you cal i was like okay i love you babe but. can i at least kill this one last ISB guy. you know as a treat

also thats not the only time i said shit that came back to bite like:

[ms-m-astrologer]

Transiting Sun enters Pisces

Monday, February 19 - Wednesday, March 20, 2024

Pisces the Fish*:

Water (emotional and soul - feeling, nurturing, hidden, sensitive)

Yin (security - ingoing, receptive, intuitive, right-brained)

Mutable (adapting to learning - distributing, connecting, adaptable, flexible, scattered)

Transpersonal (universal - focused on ideals and abstractions

“I imagine"

Rulers - Jupiter (traditional), Neptune (modern); exalted - Venus

Colors - blue-greens where you’re never sure if it’s more blue or more green

(* Gleaned almost completely from the book Astrology for Yourself by Bloch and George; the color is my own theory/belief.)

Dreamy season, during which we learn the difference between “going with the flow” and “drifting.” As Neptune nears the end of its travel through Pisces (it begins to transition to Aries next year), we should be more aware of how these “enhanced” Pisces transits have gone - what lessons have we learned? And where do we need to finish up or let go?

Friday, February 23 - Sun/Pisces square Pallas Athene/Sagittarius, 4°26’. Some indecision. Wanting to do the right, noble thing, without knowing how.

Saturday, February 24 - Full Moon, 5°23’ Virgo. We’re still torn about our direction - feelings of guilt only complicate the matters. If we can figure out our real responsibilites, life flows more easily.

Sunday, February 25 - Sun/Pisces sextile Ceres/Capricorn, 6°21’. A practical outlet for all that heavily guilty Full Moon energy. Kind of like the end of Candide, we look toward our own (figurative) gardens.

Wednesday, February 28:

Sun/Pisces conjunct Mercury/Pisces, 9°14’

Sun/Pisces conjunct Saturn/Pisces, 9°46’

This is the Superior Conjunction between Mercury and the Sun, marking the halfway point between the little planet’s retrograde zones. Add Saturn to the mix, and we go into much more conservative ways of thought, possibly/probably more fear-based. That happens when Saturn lets its imagination run away with it - and when the Sun is too passive to resist (or caught up in the drama of it all).

Friday, March 1 - Sun/Pisces sextile Jupiter/Taurus, 11°24’. Generous, sharing what we have. We feel materially blessed. Can get a little too comfortable and complacent.

Sunday, March 3 - Sun/Pisces opposite Juno Rx/Virgo, 13°38’. A nagging partner? Make sure it isn’t you! Make sure everyone agrees about what constructive criticism is.

Saturday, March 9 - Sun/Pisces sextile Uranus/Taurus, 19°51’. A time to bask gently in our uniqueness, at the same time we celebrate our common humanity.

Sunday, March 10 - New Moon, 20°17’ Pisces. Good for setting Pisces-type intentions, such as making time every day for meditation or prayer. We look for (or run screaming from) the spaciousness within.

Saturday, March 16 - Sun/Pisces square Vesta/Gemini, 26°09’. More indecision; if we don’t feel very confident in our identities, this could find us flailing around a bit.

Sunday, March 17 - Sun/Pisces conjunct Neptune/Pisces, 27°21’. “What a day for a daydream,” as the Lovin’ Spoonful sang. Perfect for meditation and prayer (we may not have much choice about it), visualization, and flowing.

[seafoamreadings]

week of january 14th, 2024

these are written predominantly for the *rising* signs but they are also intuitively "channeled" enough that they should work for any dominant energy you have! (try your sun if you don't know rising, or more advanced readers can try moon, anywhere you have a stellium, etc and see what works best for you!)

aries: a boost from ceres and venus conjoining in sagittarius really helps you to cope with any angst during the move of BOTH the sun and pluto into aquarius. a possible catch: you may need to do less friend-time and more study-time or spirit-time. consider the temporary monastic life.

taurus: you may be inadvertently about to become the family genealogist or wise woman/medicine man figure. you're out there breaking ancestral curses without even meaning to. it requires digging things up from long ago, a strange form of metaphorical necromancy, but the fruits and harvest resulting are bountiful and you see the results early, starting this week.

gemini: this is a dazzling week for you if you have, or want to have, a committed relationship. on the other hand, pluto into aquarius for almost the entire year with just a brief retrograde dip back into capricorn in several months can be jarring, or more than jarring. tectonic shifts occur in your academic and spiritual realms.

cancerians: you're no stranger to plutonic antics in your 7th house. they reach a dramatic peak with the sun on pluto at the very end of capricorn. hopefully if you've needed to take out any loans or similar financial moves, you've already done so. it's about to be a really, really bad time to have debt. for a long time. but on the bright side relationships get much easier! it will seem like it's easier than it's ever been. and that's also a long-haul transit.

leo: i always try to find the bright side in everything and i think most leos are like this too. but let's not sugarcoat things. this week sees both your ruler, the sun, and heavyweight underworld lord pluto moving into your opposite sign of aquarius. the sun is considered debilitated there, kind of dimming your shine, and pluto is, you know, the way that it is. so do not expect an easy season going forth, but do expect major changes to occur. and it's good and right to be optimistic about such changes.

virgo: if you don't make changes to your routine, pluto will do it for you. might as well make them as productive and sacred and comfortable!!! as you can. ease gently into a new ritual. fortunately ceres is so well-aspected this week that you'll have a lot of help doing so. try to implement changes that can last and benefit you for many years. if you don't plan to continue to use them forever, at least make them flexible.

libra: aquarius season is GOOD for librans. pluto into aquarius might seem... less good. but many librans have issues with people-pleasing, over-romanticizing, etc, and at least pluto is bound to shake up those tendencies. try to go with, not against it.

scorpio: when your ruling planet pluto changes sign it is always a big deal for everyone but especially for you. as aquarius season gets underway so too does pluto move into aquarius. maybe you are ready, after all this teasing at the end of capricorn, or maybe it's a shove in a direction you still don't feel prepared to go. either way, you have those new aquarius (4th house for most of you) vibes for almost a solid year to come. might as well embrace it, or at least accept it.

sagittarius: many good and wonderful things occur for you this week. try to appreciate them, because you may also feel uncomfortable upheaval in your local community, or drama with siblings or like your texts never go quite right for a while. it's a good time to write, but no one else needs to see it if you don't want them to.

capricorn: you are ALMOST done with pluto in your sign for good so don't despair when your solar season wraps up! there will be one more brief retrograde dip of the king of the underworld into your sign late in 2024. and while many fear pluto's influence, for you? pluto in aquarius is all about BIG wealth and value.

aquarius: the sun moves into your sign and pluto follows hot on its heels. or you know, at the slow and thunderous pace pluto always takes. you did have a taste of this briefly earlier in the year. the real deal begins now, with pluto in your sign well outlasting the sun there, until mid-september. he promptly returns in november, then to stay for decades. so there's no point resisting his company. basically you ARE pluto now, or at least a little more like persephone. welcome to the underworld.

pisces: we enter a week which is not particularly supportive to pisceans and even includes a square to neptune as pluto heads for your 12th house. you will have to do some magic/alchemy to make it work, but that can be very potent. it's just going to take a pile of impure lead before you can get the gold out.

[xxsycamore]

❝ 𝐒𝐖𝐄𝐄𝐓𝐄𝐍 𝐌𝐘 𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐓 ❞

╰┈➤ 🍫 ❝ What a mischievous maid, slipping something like this in my food.❞

Scien Brofiise/Ceres • rating: G • tags: Fluff; Valentine's Day; Chocolate; Misunderstandings; Embarrassment; Scien BLUSHING • wordcount: 1,119 • masterlist

Placing the basket down with shaky hands, Ceres wills her hammering heart to calm down before her strange demeanor can give her away.

The whirlwind of thoughts bouncing off in her head is not to be trusted. Some of them are reassuring that Scien never notices such things anyways, much less looks at her while she's delivering his daily stock of sandwiches. Others remind that very few things are ever missed by Scien Brofiise's keen eye.

By the time he reaches a deft hand blindly into the basket that he's familiar enough with, Ceres is with her back to Scien. None of the thoughts swirling around in her head care to give her an idea of what exactly should she do next while she anxiously waits for a reaction. Panickily, she hurries to get started with the first pile of disorder she spots nearby, namely to pick up some scattered balls of crumpled paper. She'd always been a quiet worker, ever so careful not to make too much noise that would distract Scien, but in this instance she suffers from her own perfection - as the room grows painfully quiet. Or maybe it has always been that way. Her hyperawareness of every tiny noise comes from the anticipation of Scien taking a bite of the food in his hand.

Crunch.

Ceres hurries to collect more of the papers as she bites on her bottom lip. Did he even notice prior to taking it in his mouth? No, he surely would've said something in that case. Would the taste surprise him when he finds out what he's eating, or-

"Oh?"

The reaction comes cutting through the silence as if with a sharp blade, yet it lacks the edge to it that would normally drive people to fall at his feet in fear. It's a tad more innocuous, like he's merely curious.

She turns around to face him once again, pretending to be clueless.

"Is something the matter, Scien-san?"

And she sees him examining the piece of food in his hand, turning it around. Despite the bite-sized hole in the hard chocolate block, the initial heart shape of it is noticeable enough.

Little flames of amusement are ignited inside his magnetic reliver eyes, becoming more evident as he directs his gaze to Ceres.

"What a mischievous maid, slipping something like this in my food."

The relaxing of Ceres' shoulders proves to be short-lived as soon as she remembers his stern warning about doing unnecessary things in her job. Opening her mouth to say something, anything, in defense, Ceres realizes there's no more running away.

"This is— "

"Did you make it yourself?"

"I—  Yes. I'm so sorry Scien-san, I just wanted to g-give this to you because…"

One second passes, then two, and three, but Scien doesn't interrupt her hearty confession this time. Yet still it never comes, so he takes the initiative to help her with it.

"I know already."

"You do?"

Scien pops the rest of the chocolate in his mouth, leaving the suspense hanging heavily in the air between them - even if for him, it seems like he's simply more interested in the sugary treat than in easing her inner turmoil. Which is a good sign, Ceres concludes in the back of her overoccupied head.

It could be because she's used to this routine of him helping himself to her sandwiches while working, but Ceres finds out she's sensitive to the smallest details of Scien's eating habits. Otherwise, why would she notice that he's eating slower now? Almost as if…

Scien makes a small sound of approval, a quiet purr almost, the barely visible bulge of his tongue moving from one side of his mouth to the other all but telling of how he savors the piece of chocolate. A gesture Ceres has never seen from him before.

He makes a show of licking his fingers clean where the sweet substance has melted and smeared on, removing his index finger from his mouth with a small audible pop. Only then does he give Ceres a proper answer.

"I know what you're doing. You're trying to sweeten my temper. I've heard Dahut talk similar nonsense - 'Scien-san, maybe if you ate sweets once in a while, you wouldn't be so sour all the time.'"

Oh.

"Sorry to disappoint but there's hardly any truth behind that silly logic, and as expected, I don't feel any different now. But that doesn't mean that I didn't enjoy your little experiment. The chocolate wasn't half bad. Hm? Why is your face so red?"

That's bad. As if refusing to believe that her feelings are that obvious, Ceres brings a hand to her cheek to feel the elevated temperature of the skin there. It makes the man in front of her chuckle.

Before his gaze can completely turn her to a stone statue, Ceres wills her feet to move and excuses herself before storming out of the room with a beet-red face.

"Hmm… I guess she was embarrassed with her failure. Oh well."

Deciding not to lose any more time, Scien goes back to work, awaking the screen in front of him. As he opens his study case document, bright blue light illuminating his features, his eyes trail to the corner of his screen to check the time, briefly wondering when Ceres would be back. Naturally, today's date is displayed right under the clock.

February 14th.

The library that is Scien's brain can surely put royalties' age-old domes of knowledge to shame, with the amount of information collected inside it. Unlike the libraries of the richest kings, however, Scien's brain is naturally messy - like the rest of him. Sometimes a book would randomly fall open and he'll involuntarily take a look before putting it away.

Such are his thoughts when a connection is found. Today's date rings a bell.

He couldn't care less for any and all of Arpéchéle's holidays, and it's no different with Valentine's day, but Scien can't help but remember the customs about this one. It's hard to ignore when Dahut has made it a point to boast every year about the amount of Valentine's day chocolate he's received thanks to being The Institute's Charming Deputy Director (his words).

So it seems like the tradition entails gifting homemade chocolate to the one you have feelings for.

Scien remembers Ceres' odd behavior just awhile ago and her so, so flushed cheeks. The sugary concoction still lingers on his taste buds.

He covers his mouth with a hand, fingers gradually traveling upwards until they rake through his hair.

Unbeknownst to him, Ceres is still just outside his door, holding her blushing face - and unbeknownst to her, Scien is no different on the other side of it.

Taglist: @arsnovacadenza @ale-teodora @kimi00twin @otomelady @privilegedpancake @g-kleran @thesirenwashere @ravenarld @kimmy-banana @devonares @galaxyprison @starshards26 @thewitchofbooks @acethephoenix256 @ikevamp-shrine-2 @nad-zeta @crystal13unny @lordsister @ikemen-banshou   @themysticalbeing @otome-scribbles @rhodolitesrose @coornn @kpop-and-otome @queen-dahlia @kisara-16 @chaosangel767 @ikemenlibrary @queengiuliettafirstlady @aurora-morning ​ @ikemenlover24 @mcofthemansion @joy-the-reader @katriniac @ikemen-writer @tele86 @lovely-bubb1es @aria-chikage @babyblue0t7 @rhodoliteschaos @shrimpy-kitsune @nightghoul381 @xbalayage @lucyw260 @kittygrimm88 @lokis-laugh @judejazza Let me know if you want to be tagged/untagged!

[breakfastteatime]

Today's Survivor request is for @noire610 - Don't go.

Cere is the first to leave. Cal can barely look at her, his anger, his disappointment, choking him into silence. He finds her in her cabin, packing up her belongings. Well, she’s missing one, and he holds it out to her; her lightsaber hilt, his crystal removed from it.

She takes it, as mute as he is. He’s not sure what the gesture truly means.

It’s yours, it belongs with you, take it back. It feels right.

I can make my own lightsaber. I’ll find my own way without you.

Thank you, Cere, for everything.

Cere shoulders her pack and heads for the exit. Her final words?

“Be safe, all of you.”

Greez sobs.

Merrin returns her well wishes.

BD accepts a final pat on the head.

Cal says nothing.

Don’t go.

He can’t say it. He’s not sure he means it.

(He does. He does mean it. Don’t go, Cere. Don’t leave – )

Merrin is the next to leave. Like Cere, she takes everything she has, packing it all into a backpack she shoulders without complaint. She gives Greez a hug, accepts one from BD, and takes one of Cal’s hands in her own.

“I will see you again,” she tells him.

Don’t go.

“Yeah,” he says, his voice so harsh he’ll be lucky if Merrin ever looks his way again, let alone speaks to him. “Be safe.”

He can sense her need to say more, a need maybe to explain herself, but even if she screamed it directly into his ears, he wouldn’t be able to understand it.

Don’t go.

They drop her off on Ord Mantell. She doesn’t look back, and Cal doesn’t watch her go.

It’s no surprise when Greez says he’s going too, it’s too much for him, he’s lost his touch, literally, and all this flying from one warzone to the next isn’t doing him any good. He tells Cal to leave him on Nar Shaddaa, he’ll figure it out from there, and yeah, kid, the Mantis is yours, take care of her until I ask for her back, because she’s still mine, don’t you forget it, and by the way –

Don’t go.

But Greez goes too. He goes, and then it’s just Cal, BD, and the Mantis. It’s too big for the two of them. It doesn’t matter than Cal can walk around barefoot or leave dirty plates, cups and spoons all over the galley without reprimand. It doesn’t matter that he can leave laundry wherever he wants. It doesn’t matter if he fails to wipe down the decks. Who cares if he takes caf into the cockpit? No one’s there to yell at him.

Don’t go.

Don’t leave me.

Don’t leave me with all your echoes.

Greez in the cockpit, checking landing coordinates.

Cere, reading in the lounge.

Merrin, making potions in the galley.

All three of them, living ghosts all over the ship.

He sits in the pilot’s seat, adjusted for his height and number of arms, staring out at space, BD beside him on the dash. He swallows, throat dry, belly empty because he’s forgotten to eat. He’s forgotten a lot of things, including how long he’s been staring out at the stars.

Alone, again.

Adrift, again.

“BD?”

BD looks over.

“If you’re waiting for the time to tell me you’re going to, this would be it.”

Outraged, BD squawks and launches himself into Cal’s arms. He’s not going anywhere. Where Cal goes, BD goes.

“You’re sure?” Cal hears a crack in his voice.

Sure? Is he sure? BD thumps his head against Cal’s chest.

“Thanks, buddy. For everything.”

BD suggests they get back to the mission, after Cal’s had some dinner.

“You up for it?”

Of course BD’s up for it! “Great, because I know where Saw Gerrera’s at, and he’ll have a mission for us.”

[inchesinbetweenus]

cal kestis x fem!reader

Tatooine, a planet of not too many things. Deserted and barren land spread across its surface. Giving a bit of a boring look it.

Tatooine wasn't the nicest planet, but it certainly was good for an overnight pit stop. The harsh winds and heat caused many people to turn away from it, and search for a more hospitable-looking place to spend the night.

Most that lived on the planet liked to keep to themselves. Probably more focused on getting past the sweltering heat, rather than the business of others.

The Mantis had gotten damaged in a chase with an accidental run-in with a TIE Fighter. So you were forced to make an emergency landing on Tatooine.

You didn't object to the idea of spending the night. As long as it meant you could sleep, you were alright with it. There was an inn that allowed the five of you to stay, splitting into duos, and you ended up taking three rooms.

Roommates were figured out pretty easily, you with Cal, Merrin with Cere, and Greez ended up having to room with BD-1. After that was all figured out, you all gladly went to bed.

You slept wonderfully that night. Back in the Mantis, there wasn't much room for you to get to sleep next to Cal, so you did appreciate the larger bed that was provided. There wasn't much cuddling that night, mostly because the two of you were pretty drained from previous missions. But that doesn't mean you couldn't do it in the morning, and that was exactly your plan.

What your plan didn't account for, was you being pretty rudely awoken by a certain someone's arm smacking across your stomach.

Your eyes snapped open from the sudden feeling. A gasp left your lips as your gaze went to the male beside you. The culprit was contently sleeping as if he did absolutely nothing.

Normally, you would've smiled at the rather adorable sight. Cal still was plagued with nightmares from time to time. Most of the Mantis crew did as well; it was just something that came with trauma, I guess. So it was a bit of a rare thing to see Cal sleeping so calmly. Too bad he had managed to wake you up and take up most of the bed space in the process.

With a sigh, you decided to let it go as it only happened once. You removed Cal's arm from your stomach and pushed yourself further from the sleeping Jedi. Just give him space and it'll be alright. That seemed to be the case. For the next five minutes. Your head turned to Cal as he had woken you up, yet again, by laying his arm across you. Was this the universe telling you not to go back to sleep, or something? Because if so, you were fully prepared to not listen.

Again, you pushed Cal's arm off of your stomach and rolled away from the male. What was his deal? Couldn't he tell you were just trying to sleep? Apparently not, because not long after you did so; Cal did it again.

You rolled over to face the culprit, grumbling mostly nonsense. He did look pretty cute, but there was no time for fawning over your boyfriend right now. This meant war.

Your hand reached over to his forehead, flicking it directly in the center. You may or may not have used a bit of the force to pull him into it, just to make it hurt a little bit more. What? He had kept you away from sleep, of course, you were going to be petty. Cal, on the other hand, did not appreciate this. His eyes lazily opened as he stared at you with an annoyed look.

"Good morning, sunshine." You spoke with a smug tone. "Did I wake you up? Oops, my finger must've slipped. My bad."

Cal blinked, rolling his eyes at your antics. He wasn't aware enough to deal with you this early. Though, with the Tatooine sun, it looked like it could've been midday. His spread-out position curled up into a more defensive one. He then pulled the blanket over his head to attempt to disappear from you and your anger.

"No, you don't, mister." You tried to pull the blanket down, scooting yourself closer to him. Resting on your elbow, you leaned over the younger male. "Don't think you can just get out of this. You did it to yourself."

Cal ripped the blanket out of your grip and pulled it away from his head. A deadpan expression on his face.

"I was asleep!"

"Yeah, and so was I, but looks like that was ruined for the both of us." You said matter-of-factly. After being violently awoken so many times, you could say you weren't experiencing any grogginess anymore. "Now, you must pay for your crimes." You announced as you pushed yourself up. Using the newly gained height, you proceeded to lie across Cal's stomach. "Now, you are trapped."

Cal groaned under the weight, his barely awake body struggled to keep up with everything that was happening.

"I'm going to push you off the bed."

"You won't."

Maybe being sassy with a freshly awoken Cal wasn't the best idea, but it's too late for that. The next thing you knew, you were flying off the side of the bed. Landing with a thud, you looked up at Cal with an offended expression. To which the redhead just giggled before burying his head in a pillow.

"Oh, it's on." You warned as you got up and jumped onto the bed. Looming over Cal, you stood thinking of your next move. Cal just looked at you with a look of slight fear. Taking this chance to attack, you fell to your knees, placing your hands on either side of Cal's head. With him trapped (and flustered), you grabbed a pillow and pressed it to his face. "Suffocate, Jedi."

Cal gasped as you held the pillow against his face, and tried to fight his way out of it. You held on pretty tightly, but what you didn't count on was Cal force pushing you off the bed. As you started to fly off the bed, yet again, you used the force to pull Cal along with you.

An even louder thud rang through your ears as the two of you lay on the floor. There was a silence, both of you more focused on catching your breaths. That was quite a bit of physical activity for having just woken up, and it turns out you two weren't the only ones that were awoken by your roughhousing.

There was a knock on the door, knowing it was one of the other crew members. (It comes in handy to have a designated knocking pattern.)

"Come in?" Cal said, confused by why someone would come to their room so randomly.

An irritated Cere opened the door, sending a glare to you as she spotted your figures on the floor.

"Some of us are trying to sleep. If I knew you two were going to wake up so early; I wouldn't have taken the room below yours." Cere groggily announced.

Growing embarrassed, you and Cal silently nodded at her. Resembling young children getting scolded by their mother. "Oh, and Merrin says if you wake us up again, then she'll bury you next to Malicos." At that, Cere shut the door and left.

There was silence for a few minutes before the two of you burst out into a fit of giggles. Despite having just been told to be quieter, both you and Cal felt the need to get out and do something. So, you two changed into your casual clothing, talking about what you wanted to do.

"We could train out in the sand. I've always wanted to see if you can use the force to push sand in someone's face." Cal admitted, quite curiously. Though there was a bit of malicious intent behind those words that made you want to avoid that situation as best you could.

"Yeah, no." You responded, pulling out two hooded ponchos. "I'd rather not get sand in my clothes, shoes, hair, and probably eyes. You can do that on your own though." Clicking your tongue as you winked at your boyfriend.

He rolled his eyes, catching the poncho you tossed to him. "Fine, but we're doing that next time we're here."

"Totally."

Cal pulled his gloves from a bag, fixing them onto his hands.

"Or we could look around the shops. Greez said he found a repair shop for the Mantis, so we just have to wait until this afternoon."

That sounded like a pretty good idea. All the times you've been to Tatooine, there were always interesting things to be found in the little shops. Whether it be beautiful jewelry or Tatooine-style clothing, there was always something new to discover.

"See, I knew you had a brain up there." You teased Cal, messing up his hair after you spoke.

The Jedi did not appreciate it. "Might I remind you that this brain has saved your life countless times?"

A chuckle escapes your lips as you listened to Cal's retort. His freckles had darkened from all the time you two had spent on more sunny planets, and wow, you loved it so much. You could make a list of all the little things about your boyfriend that you adored. 

Like his freckles or that little tuft of hair that almost always managed to lay on his forehead rather than stay brushed back. The multiple scars that were littered across his body; all showed their own story. You always thought scars were the coolest. No matter where they came from, and no matter who gave them to someone. They all had a story, some more tragic than others but all one big part of the life that person lived.

Often times you would ask Cal about a specific scar, and he would just chuckle while recounting the tale of how he fell from a ship he was scrapping. Or how he had to get rid of an animal that had made its home in the wreckage. Those were the most common, but at other times there would be a bit of pain in the stories. Like the ones, he got from the purge. Those were always the hardest stories to tell.

Your chuckle turned into a smile. Stepping towards Cal, your hand rested against his cheek. As you maintained eye contact, you couldn't help but smile a bit wider at Cal's pupils widening slightly. The visible effect you had on him was priceless sometimes.

"It has, and I love you even more for it." Pulling his face towards yours, you pressed a soft kiss to his lips. You couldn't deny the fluttering feeling in your chest as Cal placed his hands on your waist. As he leaned into you, you couldn't help but smile into the kiss. But you were still in need of giving the younger Jedi payback for waking you up. So you pulled away just a little too soon.

Cal let out a quiet whine as you stepped back, but it quickly turned into an irritated groan. You laughed, an amused expression spreading across your face as you turned on your heel.

"Meet me outside. I'll grab BD." You announced before leaving a flustered Cal to watch you walk out the door.

God, he loved you too much.

[geekywritings]

“You see me... for me.”

I got a lovely request from @christinaatyourservice92​ for a Cal Kestis x reader story. So here we go :D

You are a shy cartographer with a love for art, having travelled with Cal and the Mantis crew for quite a while now. Your feelings for the red-haired Jedi are a secret you have kept tightly, just as the little collection of sketches you have of him. Well, time for some secrets to be revealed. 

(If you also wanna send me requests and prompts, please do! I’m always happy to read them!)

____________

You all had different reasons for being part of the crew, but what brought you all together, made you a family almost, was the shared hope for a better future. You were all fighting an overly powerful enemy for a slither of a chance to live a normal life, each in your own way.

To be fair, Cal was doing most of the fighting. You weren’t a bad shot, but your talents lay elsewhere. You wanted to map out all the planets of the Outer-Rim, especially those the Empire had not completely overrun yet. Until then, you also put your talents to good use to forge maps for the rebel alliance, highlighting safe routes and the locations of enemy bases on the various planets the Mantis crew visited. A small job, some would argue, but nevertheless vital.

Four years had passed since you literally ran into Cal Kestis on Nar Shadaa, both of you trying to outrun some Stormtroopers, albeit for different offenses. Your knowledge of the intricate underground tunnels of the capital city had saved both your lives and the Jedi had offered you a place on the Mantis without hesitation in gratitude. Apparently, the ship’s doors were open to anyone willing to help.

After living and working alone for almost all your life, being part of a crew was difficult to get used to. Especially since you weren’t exactly an extrovert. Lucky for you, most of the crew wasn’t either. Cere always respected your privacy, almost as if sensing when you needed to retreat and Merrin herself seemed to prefer solitude a lot of times. Greeze was often trying to get you to loosen up with varying degrees of success, but even he never pushed too far.

And then there was Cal. Friendly, gentle and understanding Cal Kestis. He did his best to make you feel at home, testing the waters with each careful word and gesture. Especially at the beginning, he was fumbling with words as much as you were. But unlike you, he had grown more confident in the last few years. You were still a blushing mess when he spoke in that special low tone of his or placed a hand on your shoulder.

Not because you were still nervous… but because the Jedi had managed to work himself into your heart. You admired him for his optimism and drive, shared his hopes for a better future, and trusted him completely. And you were pining for him. Badly. So much so that even Merrin remarked on it one evening, asking why you didn’t say anything.

But you couldn’t. You knew little of the Jedi Order, having grown up in a very rural setting on a Mid-Rim planet, but you did know that love was forbidden for its members. Cal was still following the old lifestyle in many ways and you just assumed he would turn you down because of it.

So months went by and you soaked up every kind word and gesture, as if they were water in a desert, trying to convince yourself that it was enough. Eventually, you found another way to wrangle your emotions back into place: drawing.

Although your cartography skills were almost unmatched, you also had a talent for sketching. Landscapes, creatures and even people filled the pages of the small notebook that was constantly attached to your belt. Recently, however, your fingers automatically traced the features of only one person over and over again.

The new notebook you had started was full of Cal Kestis only. Pensive looking, determined, calm and smiling. You tried to catch every expression possible, burning it into your memory to then bring it back to life on the slightly yellow paper. It was your secret. Or at least had been… until now.

You had landed on a desert planet in the Outer-Rim to refuel and the crew had split up for provisions. Cere accompanied Greeze to find a spare part for the Mantis and replenish your food rations, while Merrin decided to explore the area. It left Cal and you alone on the ship with the task of cleaning up a bit.

“Why do we always get cleaning duty?”, the Jedi grumbled, as he collected the dishes from your last meal off the table, bringing them over to you at the sink.

“Maybe because we are good at it?”, you offered, unable to think of anything cleverer to say.

Cal raised an eyebrow at you, standing so close that your shoulders were touching. “I think you highly overestimate us.”, he replied with a tiny smile.

While you took care of the dishes, Cal busied himself with picking up the various items flying all over the living room area. At least five people shared this space and it showed. Somewhere in the back, you could hear BD-1 and Kip beeping merrily, making you wonder what the droids were up to.

“Y/N?”

The call of your name had you turn, ready to ask what was up, but when you saw Cal with your notebook – your OPEN notebook – you almost dropped the plate you had been holding. He was flicking through the pages, eyes wide in wonder.

Your entire face went hot, the color probably matching the red of his hair, as you watched in horror. Nobody was ever supposed to see these sketches. HE was never supposed to see them.

Stars, he was going to hate you. Or think you some sort of creep. Either way, things would never be the same between you.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to… I was cleaning the table and it fell down.”, he excused himself, obviously noticing your discomfort.

“N-no… I… it’s fine…”, you began to stutter. “I should be the one to say sorry…. Sorry.”

The Jedi raised an eyebrow at you again, coming closer, but still holding the notebook in his hands. “Why? These are good. Certainly better than the Wanted bulletins of me.”

His humor never failed to make you smile, even now, but still. There was a tight knot in your stomach and all you wanted was to grab the notebook and run. Silence fell, as you were unable to find anything to say.

Cal saw the clear discomfort in your eyes, the blush on your cheeks and the nervous fumbling of your hands. Usually, your shy demeanor was cute. Endearing even. But at this very moment, it made him feel guilty for having brought you into this situation.

“Here.”, he said, holding your sketchbook out to you. “Next time you draw a new one, can I see it?”

Your eyes snapped to his, taking in the intense green. How could he be so perfect? Didn’t he know how hard it was to stop falling for him more and more? Was it even possible to love him more than you already did?

“Y-yes… sure…”, you said slowly, reaching for the item, fingers brushing against Cal’s in the process.

“I am honored that you pick me as your model.”, he continued. “Though I am not sure how I deserve the privilege.”

“You’re fascinating.”, you blurt before you can stop yourself. Oh stars, what have you done? Cal’s asking you silently to elaborate, while your fumbling hands are turning your sketchbook round and round, as you try to hold the man’s gaze.

“Your face… it’s handsome… and it reflects so many emotions in different ways. Your jaw clenches when you are concentrating. And your lip twitches upwards ever so slightly when you have a good hand while playing cards. And…” As if a dam had broken, you kept going on and on, revealing more tiny details that nobody but you had probably noticed.

“I-I… I just wanted to memorize them all.”

Cal was overwhelmed, but not in a bad way. People usually saw the Jedi in him. The survivor. The traitor if you asked on the other side. But you… you saw him. Every detail of him, inside and out. He saw you too, even though you preferred to blend into the shadows. You were quiet, but your actions spoke volumes. You were shy, often fumbling with words and he saw much of his younger self in that. Most of all, you were warm. Not in the physical sense, but emotionally. Your presence settled around him like a blanket, offering comfort and calmness. No matter how hard a fight had been, with you close, Cal could always ground himself again.

“Thank you, Y/N.”

“For what?”, you asked, confused. This wasn’t the reaction you had anticipated after your awkward monologue.

“For being you. For seeing me…as me.” He had stepped even closer, barely leaving any distance between you now. Your hands suddenly stilled and you looked down to see why. He had grasped them in his, holding them gently, but firmly.

Slowly, your gaze wandered back to his face, being rewarded with an expression you had not seen before. His eyes were locked to you, as if searching for something. He looked both hesitant and determined and you noticed his lips parting and closing several times, as if he tried and failed to find the right thing to say.

“Listen, Y/N…”, he finally did begin, his grip around your hands tightening ever so slightly. “I have been thinking…” Again a pause, trying to sort himself. “The Order is gone… and while I respect Cere’s mission to rebuild it… I am not sure if I can be a part of it anymore…”

Where was he going with this? And why tell you?

“So much has happened… I don’t think I can call myself Jedi anymore.”

Your lips parted to protest, but you didn’t get a chance to even begin, as Cal continued.

“A lot of the Order’s rules don’t feel right anymore… I… I think I know what I want now.”

Slowly, one of his hands came up, brushing a stray strand of hair away from your face. “I’ve been thinking a lot… about you.”

This confession sucked the air right out your lungs and you felt your heart clench in the best way possible. Was this really happening? Had you heard correctly? Or was this a dream and you’d find yourself waking up in the cabin you shared with Merrin?

No, the feeling of your hand in his and the soft brush of his fingers against your cheek was real.

“I wasn’t sure if you’d feel the same… But after seeing the sketchbook…”

“I love you.”, you blurted right between whatever kind of confession he was trying to get out. The words had tumbled out without your permission and instantly you lowered your head to hide the blush that had certainly intensified a thousandfold.

Seconds ticked by and you wondered if the admission of your feelings had been too much. Fingers under your chin turned your face upward again. You were hesitant to look at him, but he didn’t leave you the chance anyway. Instead, Cal leaned down, pressing his lips against yours.

Slowly, and gently at first. Again, testing the waters with you and going only as far as you were comfortable. It was the sweetest sensation you had ever felt. The sketchbook fell to the ground again, as your hands came to grasp his blue vest instead, while his arms pulled you closer against his form.

How long did you stand there, lips locking over and over again, finally giving way to the longing you had both felt?

“I love you too…”, Cal finally voiced what the kiss had already made perfectly clear. You would remember that look in his eyes forever. So full of love and happiness. The next moment you got, you’d have to immortalize it in your little sketchbook again.

“That’s… That’s not what I expected.”, you admitted shyly.

“I didn’t see it coming either… but life has a funny way of taking unexpected turns… And I am glad to follow this new path with you. If you will have me.”

Of course, you would have him! And to prove it you rose to your toes again for another kiss, absolutely ready for a new kind of territory to chart together with him.