#the stuff from god fucking dammit that has been posted on this blog(for now) has been incomplete and not exactly my thoughts

[chuuyanaurkahara]

LISTEN, I HAVE A HARD TIME WRITING DOWN MY THOUGHTS

[legacyshenanigans]

Hello!!! I love your blog so much! But can I ask.... How are you? How is your sleeping schedule like now 🫶🏻??? (Also can I request a MC and Rerek interaction, but they agreed IN ONE thing, you can think of what it is... I just want more interaction and sass) But also I hope you are Ok and fine... Love you💕🫶🏻

Hiiiii 😊💚

Thank you so much! That means alot...And thank you for asking me how I am, I dont get that alot in the asks lmao.. I'm OK, but my sleeping schedule is absolutely awful 🤣 I've spent probably the last 2 weeks with a brain like mashed potato, I've been wanting to talk about it actually, like I dont want anyone worrying over me, I'm fine, honestly, but because of how mashed my brain is currently, I feel like I have days where I post loads, and then days where I don't post alot because my brain just be like:

And I know people want feeding, and I know people enjoy my stuff, and I guess I'm sorry if I'm not giving y'all what you want 24/7. I'm a very "I'll write what I want, when I wanna write it" kinda person even when my head is good, nevermind when my head is bad lol! 🤣 so yeah, that's how I am, and that's how I'm feeling currently lol 💚 and love ya too, thank you for the support! 😊

(Regarding your request, click the undercut 🙂)

Interactions with Rerek

🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍

MC: *walks into Marvolos room to wait for him*

Rerek: Urgh..*turns away from her*

MC: *Goes over to his vivarium* Hi Rerek *small smile*

Rerek: *harshly moves away in his huge vivarium away from MC, staring at her and hisses* URGH...God...Will you just leave me alone!

MC: Listen Rerek, I know you're talking, but I can't understand you, so how about, yes or no questions? You can nod or shake your head to answer me..Ok?

Rerek: Listen here Masters Cumdump, I will not play this stupid little...*sighs*...Fine...*nods head*

MC: Great *smiles* Ok so..Do you like me?

Rerek: BAAAHAHA... *shakes head*

MC: *frowns* will you ever let me pet you?

Rerek: No hoe. *shakes his head*

MC: *offended scoff* Ok LISTEN..If I bring you a poacher every week, Alive..For you to kill and eat..Will you let me pet you?

Rerek: .......

MC:...... (??)

Rerek: Hmmmm. *nods head*

MC: Really?! *smiles*

Rerek: Yes bitch, really. *nods his heads*

MC: So we are agreed? I bring the goods, you let me pet?

Rerek: *sigh* Yes..We're agreed *nods head*

MC: So does this mean you'll like me? *smiles*

Rerek: No? it means we will have a working relationship..Nothing more, you give me what I want, I give you ONE THING that you want, which is to pet me..Thats it *hissy laugh* I don't have to fucking like you, Whore..P-ha..

MC: ......?

Rerek: Urgh..Shit..Forgot..*shakes head*

MC: Dammit! *frowns*

~

[thewertsearch]

Asks compilation: 09/05

God ok that actually sounds like it would work really well. John would be a huge McElroy fan, wouldn’t he?

I just looked up the Washington accent to compare it to Griffin’s, and wow, my mental voice for John is completely different. I probably have all the wrong accents for these characters in my head, since I don’t have a clue which accent maps to which state. 

At least we’re all in the same boat about not knowing Jade’s accent - unless we learn where Grandpa grew up later on, since she’d probably have picked up his.

Brilliant! Yeah, no, I’ve been trying to nail down that font for ages.

Dammit, I just realized I could have inspected homestuck.com’s source >:(

It narrowly edges out Gen 4, for me. D/P/Pt were great, but Black and White were the games which really perfected the formula. I honestly don’t think they should have gone 3D, but whatcha gonna do?

Oh my god, of course there are. I’m going to rewatch that show some day and lose my mind, aren’t I?

Hey, thanks for the ask! 

I thought about this back when I was first starting the blog. I dunno, though. You’re really not missing much - my live reactions aren’t nearly as coherent as the writeups - mostly just a lot of ‘oh my god, what?’ moments. I write more articulately than I speak. Trust me on this. 

I’m honestly impressed you came up with something more headache inducing than the bogo algorithm, which for the uninitiated literally means ‘randomly shuffle a list until it’s sorted’. 

aw fuck we’re getting a bogo modus aren’t we

I like Bogleech’s writing, especially his creature design reviews, but I could never get more than a handful of pages into Awful Hospital. I respect his commitment to the stereotypically ‘gross’ organic aesthetic, but it kind of just squicks me out. Plus, I dunno. The premise is really dark, but the comic seems to be a full-on comedy. The dissonance just doesn’t really work for me. 

Still, though. Pokéween is some of my favorite writing on the web. Check out his stuff. 

I’ve never been super into horror. Mind you, I like having something to listen to when I’m out on a walk, and I’ve heard good things about the Magnus Archives, so maybe this is my opportunity to give it another chance?

No, yeah, we have a winner. Step aside, Broderick.

I have come to accept that Hussie is just really prone to making unintentional references. When Dave Strider is one of your primary characters, you probably can’t avoid constantly referencing pop culture - even, it seems, accidentality!

The Queen is dead! everything has gone to shit! Long live Jack the Ascended!  

Haha, I never considered that tumblr’s format does kind of resemble John and CG’s inverted conversations, in a way. When you reblog a connected pair of joke posts, you even have to make sure to reblog them backwards, or you’ll invert them! 

Ah, indie devs. Heads, they’re legends, tails, they’re assholes. 

I’ve never played it, but it’s been sitting in my steam library for months! If it’s anything like Celeste, I should have started playing it yesterday. Lore is pretty much the only thing Celeste is missing - not that it needs it. 

Those giant Underlings are nothing compared to what you see in Pipecorp. This is just another day in the office for Harold P. Egbert. 

Awesome! Yeah, I already see why the comic’s music is so popular. And considering we’ve got Toby ‘Leitmotifs’ Fox on the music team, these are all sure to return. 

So what, it’s like, Act 6: Act 1? We’re going to start recursing?

Don’t lie to me, guys. This comic is a fractal, isn’t it? It goes on forever, the sub-acts shrinking into the infinitesimal. 

I know not what awaits me. 

Six, right? Based on the above ask, there can’t be room for any more, unless they shrink dramatically after Act 6. 

I have no idea how many sub-acts there could be, though. Once you pop open that can of worms, you can’t easily close it. 

Done! From now on, all theoryposts will be tagged #theories!

Yeah, noted! I didn’t expect Homestuck to require the equivalent of waiting for the post-credits scene, but here we are?

In what sense? The Trollslum showed up pretty soon after Jade’s intro, and CG chimed in up not long after. The sense I always got was that Hussie improvised a lot of the comic, but maybe the trolls were a particularly spontaneous addition?

Liveblogging a liveblog! I can get behind that. Yeah, like I’ve alluded to before, I’d be having a very different experience with this comic if I wasn’t reading it in bite-sized chunks. 

Thank you!! I’m really trying to convey the same feelings that I’m getting while I’m reading this comic. I’m glad it’s working!

Honestly, my guessing technique is essentially just throwing theories at the wall to see what sticks. 

I usually have like, two or three explanations for a a given event in the comic, which means I can be eerily correct and ironically wrong about the same thing -  or ironically wrong twice over, as is probably more likely.

[tinyboxxtink]

"Black Magic" *Part 11*

Ooops I MAY have lied before....

More angst comin 'atcha babes.

I'm sorry. We're getting there, I promise. I just love watching you cryyyyy!!!

I'm just kidding I love you all please don't stop reading my stuff.

(fun fact these are Raul's actual hands! It's from a LOF promo. THE FINGIES THO)

Tag List

@bookishfanfic

@stars-in-the-skies-world

@omgsuperstarg

@chasingeverybreakingwave

@gibbs274

@milkshqke

@wanniiieeee

@word-scribbless

@objection-argumentative

@aprildecker-blog

@lolliepopsicle

@madamsnape921

@stars-trash-18

@sassyada

So weird note here it won't let me edit this post on my computer for some reason to add the link to the new chapter and it looks stupid in the app but whatever....I hate this place sometimes. 🤨

You went the next day straight to Rafael’s office, but when you walked into the DA’s building, it was empty. What the hell was happening? Has the whole world gone nuts?

Before you turned to leave, one of the other assistant’s came out of the public bathroom.

“Hey YN, didn’t you get fired?”

“No-- Yes-- It’s a long story,”

“Well either way, I thought for sure you'd be the first one over to the church,” She chuckled.

“I'm sorry, what?” You felt your heart stop.

“The church? Where your subject of obsession is getting married?”

“I'm sorry, WHAT?”

“People talk, Y/N. Word is you’re obsessed with Barba, screaming at him and his fiancée like an unhinged psycho,” She tried not to laugh at you.

“I…” You began to have another panic attack.

“He can't ..how did she...he CAN'T….” You started hyperventilating.

“Ooookay I'm gonna leave you here for your mental breakdown. She scoffed and walked out. You immediately bolted out behind her, dialing Maria’s number, thanking God she gave it to you the other day.

“Hola?”

"Maria he's….he's getting married,” You gasped for air.

“Y/N? What are you talking about?”

“Rafael….he’s getting…” You tried to breathe. “He’s getting married, RIGHT NOW.”

“That doesn’t make sense, Raffi would never rush into something so--”

“You said it yourself Maria, that’s NOT Rafael,”

“You’re right. Well if there’s any trace of my Raffi, there’s only one church he’d get married at. I’ll text you the address and meet you there.”

“Okay…” You started to cry as you caught your breath.

“Hey, mija don’t give up yet, it’s not over!” Maria assured you.

“Okay…” You breathed, and hung up the phone.

-----

At the church you and Maria dashed around to find the groomsman room. You found it and Maria guarded the door.

You busted in without knocking to see Rafael straightening his tie, his tuxedo jacket hung on the mirror. He turned and stared at you in confusion.

“I...I’m sorry sweetie, are you lost?” He had concerns in his eyes. Concern for a ‘stranger’. You hoped it was because he knew you deep down, but you also knew Rafael was just a wonderful man who cared for all.

“You can't marry her Rafael” You said breathlessly, tired from running around the church.

“I’m sorry, what?” He half laughed, grabbing his jacket to put it on. You put a hand up to stop him.

“Because you don't love her,”

“I don't? Really?” He gave you an amused smile.

“No! She's using some kind of spell on you.” You cried.

“...Okay, is this some kind of prank? Is this Carisi’s idea of a joke?” Rafael continued to laugh, looking down the hall to see if Carisi was waiting to yell “GOTCHA COUNSELOR!”

“No, look you have to believe me. She’s been giving you an elixir that makes you think you’re in love with her.”

“...Um, okay seriously, this isn’t funny anymore sweetie,” He stopped laughing.

“I’m not kidding!” You stomped your foot,

“Look honey I’m-- I’m sorry, you must be confused. Did you come here with someone or--?” He put on a patronizing voice.

“I’m not some mental patient Rafael, l'm Y/N! Don’t you remember me? Look at me!” You stepped in front of the mirror.

“....No, I can’t say that I do. Really sweetie you need to--”

“STOP calling me sweetie. STOP patronizing me, and fucking LISTEN to me!!!!”

“...Okay, fine. Then I’m sorry you crazy person, but get the hell out of my dressing room,” He turned serious.

“No! Look listen to me Rafael, you don’t love Liv. She has you under some kind of bat crap crazy concoction of spells to keep you under her control!”

“Okay you’re ACTUALLY insane, how the hell did you get in here?”

“I came with Maria,”

“Maria? How do you know Maria? Oh did MARIA put you up to this?! God I know she was pissed I told her not to come, but to send a mental patient--”

“I’m not a fucking mental patient!” You yelled.

“And I’M not under some kind of bizarre spell,” He yelled back.

“Ok then….why do you think you feel stronger and stronger about Olivia every day?” You asked.

“Are you kidding me? Um sweetheart that's what you call being in love. You fall more and more everyday.” he scoffed.

“Not like that and you know it.” You challenged. “It doesn’t feel like that, I know it doesn’t. I KNOW you find it weird,”

“You don’t know anything about me. I love Liv and--”

“Then why are you doing this SO fast?” You cut him off.

“Excuse me?”

“You barely proposed to her a few days ago-- which by the way, NOT your idea,” You rolled your eyes.

“Wow...you are really...are you stalking me or something?” He narrowed his eyes.

“No, but I know you. You wouldn’t just rush into something like this,” You told him.

“It’s not rushing, honey. We’ve known each other for YEARS,” He scoffed with a laugh.

“Then why? Why now? Why is it SO urgent that you get married RIGHT now?!” You stomped your foot.

“BECUASE I LOVE HER YOU FUCKING PSYCHO!!” He screamed in your face angrily.

“No, you don’t! You didn’t take her to Maria, you didn’t take her to your special place. But you took me,” You didn't back down, you matched his volume as tears lined your eyes.

“And why would I do that? Because I was in love with you? Did I just forget an entire relationship with someone I’ve never met?” He was still yelling.

“No I--” You looked down in shame.

“You what?” He crossed his arms.

“.....I used it first,” You said softly.

“Excuse me?“

“I used it first, okay?” You said tears in your eyes. “I used an enhancement spell on you that made you fall in love with me for a day,”

“Ohhhh I SEE,” he chuckled mockingly. “So what you’re really saying is Olivia is playing your game, just better?”

“NO!” You screamed. “No, the stuff I used only enhanced stuff you already felt. Hers FABRICATED them. And I only used them for ONE DAY, because I love you enough to not want to keep you for myself if it’s not real,”

“But you just claimed it was real,” he pointed out.

“I didn’t know that at the time-- LOOK,” You grabbed his hands. “The only thing that matters is that Olivia is trapping you,”

“With magic.” He looked at you again with amusement.

“Yeah…” You didn’t like this.

“That I assume she got from you?” He nodded at you.

“No she used black magic, I used good magic,”

“Oh right right, the good magic that manipulates feelings. Of course,” He nodded sarcastically.

“Dammit Rafael I’m telling you the truth! I know the real you is there, deep down somewhere. I know he is and I know how he feels about me.

“Right...look you need to let this insane crush of yours go, lady. I don’t know how you know who I am, but I have zero clue who you are,”

“That's not true. I know that's not true,”

“Oh really?” He laughed sarcastically.

“You look like a penguin,” You simply said.

“I'm sorry, what?” He continued to laugh mockingly.

“You look like a penguin,” You looked into his eyes, trying to distract him so you could pour the vial you had in your bra into his coffee next to the mirror.

So now you're just resulting to insulting me? Look you--- Oh my god what the FUCK are you doing?!” He grabbed your hand before you reached the cup. He held it and stared wide eyed at the pink vial.

“What the FUCK is wrong with you? Did...Did some criminals send you? The Diablos have pretty girls doing their dirty work for them?”

“What? No--”

“Ohhh wait,” He became sarcastic again. “So you try and counteract ‘Evil’ Olivia’s ‘magic’ with your own ‘good’ magic, is that it?”

“...I mean--”

“Alright I was tolerating you before, but if you don’t leave RIGHT now, I’m going to call security.” He swiped the vial from you and smashed it on the ground.

“NO!!!!” You dropped to your knees in devastation. That was the one thing-- the ONE thing, besides--- Well, there was no fucking way you were getting anywhere near his lips at this point. You racked your brain, trying to think of something, anything.

“....Your middle name is Eduardo,” You said softly, still on your knees.

“...What did you just say?” Rafael’s face went from amused to shock.

“Your middle name is Eduardo. You tell everybody that it's Antonio but really it's Eduardo. You don't want anybody to know your real middle name because it’s your father’s name,”

“How did you--” He tried to ask but you weren’t done.

“Eduardo used to beat you and because of that you hate him and you don't want anything to be associated with him.” You stood up, not breaking eye contact.

“....How the hell… “ He looked at you. “...You DID use magic didn’t you?” Rafael gasped.

“Yes but I--”

“You used magic to read my mind didn’t you? You used it to manipulate me and try and use my deepest secret into trying to make me think I loved you." He looked at you in disgust.

"No, it's not--" You tried to explain, but Rafael wouldn't stop.

"...That we had this perfect day together, that-- that what I bared my soul to you because I was so safe with you? So IN LOVE with you?" He spat.

"You ARE!!!!" You were crying now.

“Alright that’s it I’m calling security….” He muttered angrily.

“No! Wait, Rafael please...just….just look into my eyes,” you begged. Maybe if he stared at you, he’d remember that day when you held him and planted that memory. You went to grab his hands but he pushed you away from him.

“Get the hell away from me you psycho! SECURITY!” He moved past you and opened the door. “SECURITY!”

“No! Rafael! Please, oh god please, please PLEASE you have to remember. Remember I told you about my Broadway dream, just like yours” He was looking down the hall for a security guard, you were still yelling at him.

“Stop it.” He tried ignoring your words while looking both ways down the halls.

“...And and I told you about how my parents died and you said that you used to play and dance and sing at your abuela’s house because it was the only place you felt safe--”

“STOP IT!” He threw his hands over his ears.

“And then you told me that it wasn't until you met me that you felt that safe again. With ME!!!!” You were sobbing now, trying to get him to remember.

“SHUT UP!!!!!” He screamed, his eyes flashed a bright neon purple. Suddenly two men grabbed either of your arms and started dragging you away.

“Look, Rafael--” You fought the security guards.

"What?" Rafael held up his hand for the guards to stop and let you talk.

"Just answer me this: Even if, EVEN IF you think that I-- I used some mind control and 'took' that memory from you-- have you told Liv?"

"Told Liv what?"

"That story, that memory. Your real middle name!" You felt fresh tears falling, and you swear you saw the purple fade for a moment in Rafael's eyes.

"...Of course I have--" He shook his head with a sarcastic laugh.

"No you haven't. I know you haven't, because I straight up ASKED her what your middle name was, and she said it was Antonio," You smirked at him.

"Well, that's because I haven't had a chance to tell her--"

"You can lie to me all you want Rafael, but you need to really ask yourself why haven't you told her? In the YEARS that you've been 'in love'? Why have you never felt safe enough with her to tell her your deepest darkest shame? Does that sound like 'true love' to you? Does that even compute with what you THINK you feel about her?"

Rafael eyes darted back and forth, purple and blue swirled around violently as he took in your words. But he fought them, and shook it out of his head.

"Whatever, stop trying to play mind games with me you witch," He waved his hands for the guards to take you away, but you added one last thing:

“I’m going to go to your favorite spot in the city, the one place you go to when you’ve had a really long day or a bad day in court. If you go there, and I’m there-- you’ll know I’m telling the truth.”

“Yeah, OKAY. He rolled his eyes. “I’ll be busy getting married, psychopath,” He nodded for the men to drag you out but you broke free and walked out yourself, at least you’d have dignity.

You walked out of the church and broke down in tears. Both Maria and Chloe were waiting for you, they ran to hug you as you fell down sobbing.

“Aw honey, oh baby--” Maria held you while you cried.

“We--We have to go,” You tried to get yourself under control.

“Go? Go Where?” Chloe looked at you confused.

“Central Park,” You simply said.

You had to believe in your love now. That’s all you had left.

[ma-lark-ey]

DnDads fandom, here’s some food for thought for you. 

You keep telling Anthony you want representation, that you want more diversity, you want characters confirmed as fandom wide headcanons, whatever. You tell him you want more. 

But, these same blogs that say these things reblog posts on the “men writing women” memes and rant on cis people writing trans characters and white people writing POC and whatever else, so let me off you this. 

If you were a content creator, and your fans were asking you for representation, while on the same note saying how people who aren’t [people group] can never get [people group] right, what would possess you to take that step to provide that? I want you to genuinely think about that, because as a content creator who prides themself on putting in the kinds of characters I’ve heard people cry for in my stories, seeing those kinds of things is very discouraging. Because, I, as a white person know my portrayal of a POC is never going to be as good as POC want it to be, but all I can do is try  my very best and listen to them on their critiques and turn around what I did wrong. 

I’m not saying Anthony is justified in the lack of diversity in NPCs, but you guys need to understand that when you tell him to provide diversity then also complain that [majority group] never portray [minority group] right is not helping your case. All you’re gonna do is discourage him from providing that. 

If you need evidence, here’s an actual Talking Dads quote form Anthony on Trans Nick and other fandom wide headcanons  ( I did not transcribe this scene, i thank my Discord friend for sending me this. I don’t know your Tumblr but if you see this just drop a say so in the notes) 

“Anthony: Oh wow. There are a lot of ones I like that are almost exclusively about gender and orientations and stuff like that. Of like, oh yeah maybe Nick is trans or or or any of those kinds of things. Cause those, it’s always like, not not that I would ever take those because uh, uh, and, make them part of the main canon just because I feel like that might- I don’t trust myself to not make that appropriative and weird. But I love that people from marginalized communities are taking those characters and being like “he’s ours now!”

Beth: Yeah. 

Anthony: ‘Nick, he’s- he’s black and he’s a trans man and Glenn loves him and it’s not a big deal.’ And like, all that kind of stuff.”

I’m sympathetic to sentiments like this, because this was my writing until this very year. My thought process was “I won’t write POC because I, as a white person, might fuck it up” and that thought process is only made so much stronger when if you do fuck up, no matter how minor or how severe, you’re met with nothing but inbox spam and threats and hostility. If you want response; use your words politely. When you attack them, nothing will change. Attacking does nothing but make them fear their own fans, and that’s genuinely not what we want. I know that’s not what we want. This callout/cancel culture people have created in this little fandom is so toxic, to both us and the dads. 

If you’re gonna ask something of the dads, do it nicely. Don’t come for their throats. If you, YOU personally, have sent them the same message multiple times and have no response after a couple weeks; then you get rights to get more aggressive. Not when you’re posting one call out on their Twitter.com and do nothing but yell and accuse. That’s not accomplishing anything. 

If I, a fifteen year old, find myself using more tact in these posts than grown ass adults, there’s definitely a problem here. And it’s not the dads. 

You wanna know that dads aren’t giving representation? Because they’re scared of fucking it up, they’re scared you ADULTS are going to come for their throats at the smallest mistake and continue to turn their fanbase into a warzone. Don’t make it a warzone. 

You know how you fix that? Approach them. Message them on some platform. Just say; Hey, I know your fans want [character] to be [minority group] and if you wanted help in learning how to confirm that, I am [minority group] and I’d be willing to help you.

It’s that easy! Wow! 

Because, honestly, even a sensitivity director can’t be perfectly knowledgeable on every single minority group. 

If you want your kind of minority group represented in DnDads, god dammit reach out to the cast and offer your input. Not you may not be an authority on your minority group, or some kind of genius on it, but one of those people reaching out and offering advice based on their own experiences is often much better than nothing. 

Like, the other day on twitter someone said, “Hey, Jenna and Anthony! I noticed you called Ratticus Finch ‘agendered’ and that’s not a perfect term for all nonbinary people, so I would suggest putting in some more research on terms before the next episode.” And THAT’S how you approach topics at first, not screaming and yelling. That’s how you put in advice. That’s how you provide criticism. 

I said when I first started talking about discourse that the adults are the problem, and i still stand by that. Because I am yet to see anyone under the age of 25 acting like this. Anyone younger I’ve seen on this has been tactful, and polite. Which really shows the difference in generations. It’s sad. 

I hold hope in the hosts, because they’ve made steps to change in the past. And they’re only gonna take the issues one hurdle at a time, you can’t expect everything to be managed all at once, they have to pace themselves or else they’re going to get burned out and that’s worse. 

And if this podcast at the moment is not up to your standards? That’s fine. Walk. Away Come check back in in a few months if you still hold interest and see if it’s what you want to associate yourself with. Just stop attacking the hosts, criticize and construct them instead. 

You get nothing out of tearing others down, only more destruction. 

[hot-tea-gardenparty]

After this past week’s incredible episode (15.18) and the Destiel canon reveal, my imagination was having a damn field day with how many ways the story could go in the finale. I have so many ideas and have been speculating so much (and literally have no one to physically talk to about it in my real life) that I just had to get them down and share them with you all.

Just a quick note before you read on:

I am definitely not saying any of the following ideas will actually come to fruition during the last two episodes of Supernatural Season 15. This is being posted just for fun and not to be taken as serious spec or meta. If you’d like to read serious meta there are so many other wonderfully detailed and thoroughly researched metas, specs or deep-dives out there by incredibly talented and intelligent fans like @verobatto-angelxhunter​, @amwritingmeta​ and @wigglebox. So please go check those blogs out if you are in need of something a little more cohesive and less....flail-y and fangirl-y.

With that said....let’s get on to the fun stuff....what I’d like to see or what I think we might see happen during the finale of Supernatural!

I would love Castiel coming to save the day somehow. He doesn’t need to be the final source that brings down Chuck, as I think that would be best saved for the Winchester brothers (since they have been the main target for the pain and control under Chuck.) What I mean is that I want Castiel to serve SOME important purpose, whether that be him bringing the angels back with him from the Empty (either to fight Chuck or just near the very end as a saving heaven move) or him helping turn the Empty against Chuck so that the Empty aids in lowering Chuck’s ability to fight back. OR….and this is my favorite idea, that Castiel’s positive influence over Dean, the love Cas has shown the Winchester brothers, the intense faith he had in the power of love….makes Dean and Sam fight Chuck not with intense anger and confusion, but with a realized faith in themselves, their abilities and their trust in each other.

My personal feelings on Cas’ return will be that his rescue will take place in the finale episode or (less possibly) during the final half of 15.19. It should at least be set up by the end minutes of 15.19 and hopefully set in motion by Dean, knowing he can get Castiel out of the Empty because he is DEAN FUCKING WINCHESTER AND HE LOVES HIS ANGEL SO HE IS GONNA RESCUE HIM GOD-DAMMIT.  It is also my belief that Jack will be the one with the ability to “open” or “get access to” the Empty for Dean to go in and get the love of his life back.

I see all the people who “poofed” away in 15.18 coming back once Chuck is gone….it may not be that easy but I can’t expect it to be too difficult (because we only have two eps left). Sam will get Eileen back by the end of 15.19 or the beginning of 15.20 before Dean gets Cas back because Chuck will be defeated before Cas can return.

Castiel’s rescue will take place in the finale. Like I said above, I think the set up for the rescue will take place at the end of 15.19 and the actual rescue will be the finale episode. Or at least that would be my ideal pacing of the events. I want an entire episode (or at least the most of one) focused on Dean’s intent to get Castiel back. I also want Sam and Jack specifically focused on getting Cas back as well. Castiel means just as much to them as a father and friend for them to leave the rescuing up to Dean. Jack will do the ‘waking-up’ of Castiel just like before. Jack will open the, proverbial, door to the Empty for Dean to walk through. I keep flip flopping on if I think Sam would be there in the Empty too or not….there are pros and cons either way. I am more leaning on the side of no Sam, in this particular situation since I am a Destiel clown and just want Castiel to hear from Dean how much he is loved and wanted.  Castiel can always hear about how much he is loved by Sam and Jack a little later.

My imagination sees Dean end up in the black void of the Empty and he sees nothing for a minute, until the Empty entity shows up (maybe wearing Dean’s face?) and they have a tense discussion about Castiel and letting him go. I do not think the Empty will ‘die’ or disappear. The Empty will remain. So with that in mind….is it just intimidation Dean would use to get past the entity (possibly using Jack as the powerful being on their side) or would it be more of a ‘hey you can go back to sleep and everything will go back to normal’ kind of persuasion? I am leaning towards the second option….but again that’s just my own ideal path the story could go down.

Once the Empty entity is dealt with…Dean finds Castiel. How this happens, I literally can’t fathom. I am still a little at a loss of how the Empty truly works, so I am not sure if Dean could ‘walk around to find him’ as it were…or if Castiel could just be manifested in front of him….*shrugs* BUT if I had my way, I would love for Dean to have to call out to Cas somehow to find him. What I mean is that I would love to have Dean need to pray for Cas to return to him or for their profound bound to bring them naturally together (like it did in Purgatory earlier in the season). Like Dean could just think of how much he loves Cas and needs Cas and then suddenly…out of the ether…. manifesting and slowly walking towards him, is Castiel.

Castiel will not believe Dean is there, he will believe the Empty is taunting him again. Dean has to convince Cas that it is truly him…that he is here to rescue him. What I would love to hear from Dean would be something like this (I apologize for the following horribly corny dialogue, this is a quick run-through, not meant to be taken super seriously):

   Dean: It’s me, Cas. It’s really me. I’m here to take you back. You need to be with us, with Sam, with Jack…..with me. You’re family, Cas. You’re my family.

    Cas: Dean, I can’t leave. The Empty….

    Dean: I’ve dealt with the Empty.

    Cas: Dealt with the Empty…? Dean how….?

    Dean: Cas, please. Please, I…I don’t know if I can do this without you.

    Cas: Do what…?

 Dean: I don’t think I can do….life…without you….because I love you too, Cas. I’m sorry it’s taken me so long to say it but I do. I love you. I’ve known I loved you for years, I just never had the balls to admit it. You’ve seen me at my worst, over and over again and yet you never left me. You’ve put your ass on the line for me and Sam more times than we can even count. You were always the one with free will. The most out of all of us. You saved us, Cas. You saved the world. You saved me.

DEAN PUTS OUT HIS HAND, PALM UP.

CAS TAKES HIS HAND, DEAN PULLING CAS IN CLOSE, A HAND AROUND THE BACK OF CAS’ NECK.

DEAN KISSES CAS.

  Dean: So, I am here to grip you tight and bring you home.

Now this piece is just 100% my own selfish desire: It would be great if somewhere in the whole, Cas-leaving-the-Empty rescue that Cas must chose to become human. The Empty will tell Dean that sure, Cas can leave, but he cannot leave if he is still an angel….he needs to lose his grace. (Honestly, I just really want a human Cas by the end of the show…it just seems like that would be a wonderful full-circle way of wrapping up his story…choosing to live within the humanity he so loves.)

Okay on to the final scenes…..like I am talking the very final scenes, right before we cut to the black THE END title card.

I would love a final scene that involves Dean and Sam sitting on the hood of the Impala, discussing what they will do for the rest of their lives now that they are fully free of Chuck’s grasp. They are at a rocky beach (something like Oregon’s coastline) and the sky is clear and sun glints off of Baby’s shiny black paint. It’s about a week after defeating Chuck and getting Cas back. Dean asks Sam if he’s talked with Eileen at all. Sam will reply that they’ve been talking about getting together at her house for a few days, to get to know each other better. Dean will chuckle, make a joke about Sam’s sex life, but Sam will immediately get serious and ask if Dean will be okay with that plan. Will Dean be okay in the absence of his brother? Dean will think for a second…his eyes wandering off to where, off in the near distance, Castiel and Jack are out on the sandy part of the beach, smiles on both their faces as they have a conversation. Castiel is more relaxed than Dean’s seen in a long while, his trench coat, suit jacket and blue tie all abandoned in the trunk of the car….his shirt sleeves rolled up to his elbows, his hair a mess from the wind. Dean will smile and reply, eyes not leaving Castiel down on the beach, “Yeah, I think I’ll be just fine.”

Or ya-know....something like that.

Anyways….those are the ideas floating around in my head. Again, DO NOT take any of these as serious spec on the finale, I am honestly just having some fun imagining all the different scenarios that could happen.

Let me know your ideas for the finale if you’d like as well! I’d love to hear them and what you think would be the perfect ending to Supernatural.

[dredshirtroberts]

Hooooo boy we are feelin some EMOTIONS today, folks.

this is not a happy post, if you’d like to skip I entirely understand, and in fact encourage doing so.

I’ve been needing to do a one of these for a lil bit because I’ve got Thoughts and Feelings and they are complicated and I can’t accurately parse them in my head so we’re gonna air it out on Tumblr like a sheet on the line during laundry day.

here’s the thing.

I got some complicated family feelings in my chest places and it fucking *sucks*.

I was kept from spending time with my family by various means over the past several years to the point where I wasn’t attending holidays - which, in my family, is just not done. You can skip a holiday but you have to make it up on another occasion and I...wasn’t doing that anymore. Two separate people had me convinced I was not loved by my family, that they did not care for or appreciate me like *they* could and that I was better off not being around my family.

And maybe they had some valid points. Which I hate admitting because they used a lot of “valid points” to get me to be completely isolated in life without anyone but them and any time I branched out I was, for lack of a better term, “punished” for having denied them my attention or time or whatever. (this is of course not as nuanced a take on it as I would prefer but this is already going to be long without me going through the whole...everything, again. You can search the captain rambles and life post tags on my blog for more on this topic).

Anyway...so I’m no longer with people who are actively trying to keep me from talking to other people/being around people who are supportive of my own efforts and goals, etc. And I was welcomed back into my family with open arms and that was...honestly unexpected. After everything I’d had told to me about how they were and how they should be and what I should feel about them...I wasn’t expecting them to love me.

I rode that rose-colored wave for a *while*. But as the world descends into chaos and I learn more things about myself that make me feel more like *me* than I have...possibly ever now that I try and think about it, I am seeing things that I had hoped had been exaggerated or made up by those in my life who had hurt me.

My parents raised me in a very right-wing conservative household. The evangelical style of christianity didn’t come until I was already an adult but the building blocks must have been there or it wouldn’t have happened so...extremely when it finally did. There were a lot of...really shitty attitudes towards other people that I didn’t recognize growing up in it - I didn’t recognize it until a lot later, in fact.

They’re...They don’t see anything wrong with the way they are. Which, you know, *sucks*. 

There’s going to be a lot of dismissive phrases littered throughout this because I’m trying to be...i don’t know. I do it as a thing to lighten the mental load on myself - dismissiveness and joking around, exaggerating for effect, etc. - which i know might come off weird but like...this is really fucking bothering me guys and I...I’m doing my best.

Cause here’s the thing. I was raised believing the world was one way and that we were *right* about things. We had the answers and anyone (liberals) who didn’t agree with us were wrong and would either see the light and come to our side or were too stupid to know how wrong they were so we wouldn’t have associated with them anyway. (reasons why i’m currently frustrated with the political opposition to Republicans/Conservatives/The Right #1 actually)

And then I grew up and I saw the world was not that way. And I expected that my family would be able to see the world with the insight I had gained, and..they just...don’t.

I’ve excused a lot of their shit beliefs recently. not like, trying to defend them to anyone or anything but I don’t confront them. Mostly because I know while they won’t say it to my face, I know how they think about people who think like me (because I was there for those conversations, I was there and I thought like them and now i don’t and that makes me one of those idiots they talked about, a stupid person who can’t see the truth they believe so fully that they think is backed up by facts and figures but their facts and figures are *flawed* - mine aren’t better but I can acknowledge that and extrapolating data from all the things and coming to a conclusion is what I was taught to do but now that I do it for the wrong side what must they think of me? What must they say behind my back?)

I have...a lot of kinda fucked up shit about my family. Nothing overt, nothing that immediately screams to me “Hey fuck-o, this shit isn’t a universal experience and something is wrong here!” but it’ll be small things that I’m like “Ah, okay. Not everyone had this experience and those that did are currently working through the *trauma* of it by going to *therapy*. Hm.”

I’ve done some work in that respect and that’s good. Doesn’t make my issues go away but makes it so I can handle them a little better. Most of the time anyway.

I’m trying to make several things that are true but contradictory work together in my brain and it’s not going well.

1) my family cares about me and wants me to do well.

2) my family has hurt me in the past and is currently hurting me (though not intentionally and not maliciously - please dear god let it be unintentional and non-malicious). 

3) My family does not “agree” with LGBTetc people.

4) My family do not believe that there are systemic issues inherent in the government we live in/under and the society we must participate in (Because it benefits them, and they have not had to challenge their thoughts on this before).

5) My family are kind of racist.

6) My family was my only support system when I was leaving an abusive situation.

7) ...My family might have abused me a little.

I go back and forth on point seven a *lot*. See point 2 about the intentionality/maliciousness factors. If they didn’t mean to do it, does it still count? 

Does it matter if it still hurts?

My sister outright told me that she doesn’t agree with trans people (meaning she doesn’t believe you can be trans, really). But I’m okay because it’s me, and now I can be her gay best friend when we’re drinking at family stuff.

She didn’t understand why I was hurt by that. I attempted to explain it and she got defensive and angry so I just...didn’t fight about it. Just played the part. I’m her brother when it benefits her but otherwise I’m still her sister. I’m still mom and dad’s daughter. Even though I told them I’m not a girl. I told them I’m a guy.

Dad’s response was the most favorable initially and I think...he might eventually come around to it (he’s always wanted a son. he has a boy dog and has also imprinted really hard on his lawn roomba about it). He also might...not.

I’d like to transition further. Eventually. If it’s feasible. But also, right now it’s not. Right now it’s me cutting my hair short and not wearing dresses or skirts (even though they’re super comfy) because I want to avoid being misgendered as often as possible. It’s binding for uncomfortable and unsafe lengths of time because I am a MAN dammit, and I will be a man at this family function in whatever way I can. And when I go to the length that I do to be seen the way I want to be seen and I am *ignored*....

fuckin’ hurts you guys. I just fuckin’ hurts. 

And I want to correct them. I want to stand up and say STOP YOU’RE HURTING ME. PLEASE. I AM NOT A GIRL. I HAVEN’T BEEN THIS WHOLE TIME I JUST DIDN’T KNOW WHY I DIDN’T FEEL RIGHT AS A GIRL. PLEASE JUST CALL ME A BOY, USE MY PRONOUNS, USE A NEW NAME OR AT LEAST THE NICKNAME THAT ISN’T MY FULL NAME. 

but i don’t.

because I’m scared of losing them again.

And it’s fucked up because they’re *already* lost. They’re Fox-watchers and Trump-supporters and they don’t want to listen to science or facts or *anything* outside of what’s presented to them by pundits and talk show hosts, and the fucking EIB network with their political propaganda for anything that isn’t what the liberals want.

And I don’t know that I can get them back because they’re *real* far down that particular rabbit hole. And I’m...I’m just trying to figure out what I want in life. What makes me happy. And part of what I want is what I always wanted and never had.

I want my mom and dad to look at me, see me, see what I do see how I try and what I love and care about and tell me that I’m enough. That they love me because this is who I am and I am enough for them. Even if I wasn’t accomplished and didn’t try they would still love me because I’m *me*. and I’m their *child* and they *love me*.

And GOD it is so FUCKING painful to know that’s not a realistic thing to hope for. Because I’ve been trying for 28 GODDAMN years doing ANYTHING and EVERYTHING I can to be enough for them. I played good, christian, conservative little girl for SO goddamn long, even when I wasn’t Christian or conservative anymore, even when I saw the cracks, I wanted to be what they wanted.

And even now that I *am* what my dad wanted (a son) I’m not enough because to him i’m still a girl, to my mom I’m the failed daughter the one she didn’t do enough for so now it’s about how she fucked up and not about NO. This is ME. Stop. Stop LOOKING at me like that WHEN YOU DON’T SEE ME. YOU SEE SOME IDEALIZED VERSION OF ME WHO WAS NEVER GOING TO EXIST BECAUSE SHE WASN’T ENOUGH EITHER.

...

This is a lot more than I thought it would be, pain wise tonight, guys. My bad. 

I’m still struggling with my eating habits, I’m still struggling with my self-worth, and finding what makes me feel fulfilled. I’m getting better at some of it though.

I’ve smiled and laughed more in the past week or so than I have since I came out to my family. I wouldn’t have done that without my very very good friends who are very very kind to me and god I wish I could do more than draw stupid pictures and write stupid stories for them but it makes them happy too? so i’ll just do what I can and maybe it’ll be alright. 

Gonna try not to fall too deep down the abandonment issues pit tonight folks. I’m already upset enough. 

Good talk.

[kinktae]

I’m so proud of you for not only finishing the masterpiece that is Bitchin *chef kiss* but also getting the final chapter out when you were hoping. Every little win should be celebrated so make sure to give yourself some credit x

bitchin 10 asks (finally!)

thefouranemoi said: just finished bitchin! it was soooooos soooooooooo good! im a sucker for a really good slow burn but this wasn't dragged out or overly dramatic. it was perfect and im so glad y/n and jk have each other. thank you for such a series!

sadlemonboy said: i read bitch’n 10 on the bus and was trying so hard to just not cry. i was so good i love it so much. just like thank you

Anonymous said: WHAT'S WITH YARA AND TAE??? ARE THEY TOGETHER??? WILL WE EVER KNOW???

Anonymous said: Buttt just out of curiosity what happened with Yara and Taee, did they became fvckbuddies or smth

forvever-ddaeng said: STOP IM FUCKING SAD ITS OVER :( WHEN I READ “I SLEPT WITH ERIK” I WANTED TO STAB MY EYES OUT LIKE WTF BUT THE PAPER WAS HONESTLY SO FUCKING CUTE IM SO HAPPY WITH HOW THIS TURNED OUT I LOVE YOU AND YOUR BRAIN 🥺 p.s. do you think you’d ever do a drabble or epilogue where we get more of yara and tae? Totally cool if you don’t want to I was just wondering

O.O

Anonymous said: BITCHIN PART 10 WAS SO GOOD!!!! I WAS CRYING LAST MIGHT, THINKING THAT Y/N AND JK WERE JUST GOING TO PART WAYS,,,,HEKDHBFKD FUCKIN HAD ME SCARED. OMG SUCH A GOOD SERIES!!!!! I CAN'T WAIT FOR THE NEXT ONE.

Anonymous said: AHHH I LOVED BITCHIN SO MUCH!!! This has always been one of my favorite fics right from the beginning and probably will always be one of my favorites. You did such an amazing job. I’m sad Bitchin era is over but I’m excited for whatever era that will be next:) Thank you for writing this, ILY

Anonymous said: THANK U FOR BITCHIN IT WAS AMAZING

Anonymous said: Bitchin was one wild ride 😭😭 I loved it and can’t wait for more of your rewind series 🥺💕💕

Anonymous said: 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺💜💜💜😩😩😩😩- my reaction to bitchin final (for now)

Anonymous said: REST IN PEACE BITCHIN AAAAKAAKK.,?!@ FOREVER IN MY HEART GOD DAMMIT I CANT STOPCRYING ARE U HAPPY ROSE DID U LIKE CRUSHING MY FEELINGS LIKE THIS OIOOHNMY GOD 😭😭😭😭

jessiejellybean said: The only thing I can say about bitchin finale is GAJSOSLALHSISSAOWLLANSHSJAKA SERIOUSLY ITS SO GOOD THIS SERIES AS A WHOLE IS UNBELIEVABLY GOOD 10/10 WOULD RECOMMEND

Anonymous said: bitchin was so good😭 i am BEYOND devastated knowing that ill no longer be getting notifs on another update🥺it was so fun to be a part of this journey consisting of having to anticipate for another part to be posted for as long a month! but never have i regretted any second of waiting bcs the result came out so well written and interesting u might as well make it into a hard copy or a movie and get paid loads🤩 keep up the good work❤️

Anonymous said: Funnily enough, you were the first EVER bts blog that I followed because I thought you were funny as hell. Then, you posted part 1 of bitchin and on god I swear I signed my life away for bitchin!jk 🤡. I've officially lived through an era 🥺🥺. I'll miss them but I'll always be the biggest yaraxtae whore 🥵💦 -♒

sydney--chan said: This might sounds totally stupid or whatever, but bitchin' means a lot to me and I'm so happy that you decided to share it with us. Not to get all sad n shit but I started reading this during a really rough period in my life. This story allowed me to forget about all the stuff that was going on, even for just a little bit. This story means so much to me and seeing it end is like making me 😭😭😭 this is the perfect story and I love you and thank you for creating such a beautiful story 

Anonymous said: THAT WAS SO GOOOOOOOD the way u wrote about jungkook’s feelings tugged at my heartstrings like my heart physcially legitimately hurt ur writing was so spot on!! all the details!! Totally worth staying up even though i have class tm

Anonymous said: miss rose i just wanted to stop by and say thank you for always giving us such masterpieces. as a jk whore (ot7 whore in general but ya know) bitchin was just *chefs kiss* i literally looked forward to Sundays bc I knew there was a chance a new chapter would be posted lol. I am sad to see bitchin end but am also suuuuper excited to support your new fics and anything else you come out with. you’re the best. love ya 💕

Anonymous said: Bitchin' 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 I'm going to say this for the umpteenth time... IT WAS SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO GOOD. It's one of the best fanfictions out there and I'm gonna re-read it at least five more times. Thank you so much for blessing us with this bounty! Take care! 💜💜

koru-rhi said: I should really be asleep but I had to finish Bitchin & I went back and reread it from the beginning to the end and I just want you to know how much I loved it! It was a beautiful smuttyfluffyangsty ride and I can’t wait to read more of your writing! I totally lost it at Everything I Didn’t Say 😫 btw.

Anonymous said: Wow bitchin is over... what is there to look forward to now on this app :(

Anonymous said: I AM NOT CRYING, YOU ARE ALL CRYING I CNA IT THE END DNDMSM MY POOR HEART. AGHHHH SNAMAMA PLEASE,WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME. YOU ARE KILLING ME. I DON'T KNOW IF I AM SAD OR HAPPY OR BOTH.

Anonymous said: UGH! bitchin 10 was amazing *chef’s kiss* I sobbed, I felt their earnest love for each other. A real roller coaster just like my emotions rn. Ngl I sound like a middle aged white mom giving a book review 💀 anygays I just wanted to say that I love ur stories and they’re always so well written

betysotelo18 said: Bitchin'...has me in tears! For some reason I thought this was going to have smut...Who needs smut! This was PERFECT! The damn piece of paper made tears roll down my cheeks! I loved every single chapter. Thanks for sharing

deewhalien21 said: Waiting bitchin part 10 was hell, couldn’t imagine living without them now😔 I’m going to miss them, like a lot. And thank u for good memories with these people mam, thank u for making me experiencing heart break that I could never have. I’m waiting another great stories❤️😔

lalumaia said: That was just perfect, Rose. Thank you, I love you

Anonymous said: hi, bitchin was soooo good and every time you uploaded i felt so happy and excited for the next one, thank you for all your work!

Anonymous said: when i saw the warning said “angst” i was so worried they wouldn’t end up together :( thank you for this rose this was such a beautiful story and experience!!! love u lots angel

Anonymous said: ROSE HOLY SHIT THAT WAS SO GOOD !!!!!!!!

unknowntalesx said: ROSE IM CRYING WHAT THE FUCK I LOVED THAT SO MUCH MY HEART WAS BEING SQUEEZED AND TORN AND I HAD/HAVE LITERAL TEARS RUNNING DOWN MY FACE

Anonymous said: OMG CANT BELIEVE BITCHIN IS OVER 😭😭 i loved everything from the beginning till the end 💜 THANK U FOR WRITING SUCH AMAZING STORY

Anonymous said: On god bitchin is the best series I’ve ever read on this app. The ending was great too! Just sad that it’s over :( thanks for writing it

Anonymous said: FAM YOU GOT ME CRYING IN THE CLUB WITH BITCHIN PT. 10! I absolutely adore your work so much and Bitchin was absolutely beautiful and so fantastic to read. I love it and you so much! Thank you for giving us something so beautiful ❤️ P.S. now take a long break girl because you deserve it

Hi friends! I can’t even begin to explain how much every single comment/like/reblog/ask in regards to bitchin has meant to me

[sherlollydramoine]

Welcome to the Tumblr-Dome Bitch! Pt 2

Warnings: Language, anonymous fake Tumblr death threats, some hilarity, and idk.. Just enjoy!

So here is part two. I hope you all enjoy because this was way too fun to write.

Word Count: 1823 (I really should have just written this as a fic, but I was feeling lazy and I’m tired) this part two. I’m going to have to write a third part to this and it’s going to be funny and hopefully we’ll get on to some sexy times in part three

(PART ONE)

You wake up several hours later and the first thing you did was check your phone. Unsure if you dreamt or hallucinated last night. Did Rami Malek really come to your apartment, find your smutty fanfiction and then get addicted to Tumblr while sitting on your couch?

Checking your Tumblr notifications you see you had several messages from Rami’s blog ItsMeRami.

ItsMeRami sent a post.“Wow people are so creative. I’ve never said or done shit like that in my life.” 

“I just got six messages from people asking if my blog was the real Rami. I said ‘as if’. I’m cackling.” 

ItsMeRami sent a post “Holy hell that was kinda hot, I think we should try something like that. Or maybe you aren’t into the possibility of calling me Daddy?” 

“ItsMeRami sent a post. “What in the actual fuck is this weird shit?!” 

It’sMeRami sent a post. “This is.. I have no words.” 

“This Peen blog is fucking hilarious. I might have to specifically start wearing no underwear all the time, and whenever cameras are about start thrusting my hips.” 

“Wow. I never realized just how visible my dick is when I don’t wear underwear.” 

“Omg Free-Rami’s blog is hilarious. Some of these people on here are crazy but I love her sarcastic responses.” 

“I hope you don’t mind. Since we follow each other now I started looking at some of your other blogs you follow… wow. Just wow.”

 ItsMeRami sent a post. “This is pretty interesting, maybe I should role play as Snafu for you, that could be fun. You seem to like a lot of posts about Snafu. This piece was interesting. Maybe we should find a train and… “ 

ItsMeRami sent a post. “I’m.. what the fuck.. You warned me about this place being a hellsite, maybe I should quit while I’m ahead. This is too much.” 

“I hope to God we’re still on for later because I want to try some of this stuff with you. By the way, I really loved the pieces you wrote. The question is do you want it quick and dirty or slow and sensual? Maybe both? We could do both right? Shit, I need to get off of here for a while and actually go to sleep. This is why I don’t do social media dammit, and damn you woman, what did you do?” 

“Hope you are getting some good sleep. Good night..er morning.. I’ll message you in a few hours. XOXO”

Finally having read through a majority of the messages you type a response. “Your responses to this place of Tumblr hell are the best things the internet could ever offer. I just woke up and I can’t stop laughing. I will look at all the individual posts later. You can always deactivate your blog later if you don’t want to keep it. Noone will fault you for that. As for tonight.. Bring it however you want, Daddy..or Sir.. or Rami.. whatever you want to be called. It’s alright. We can figure it out when you get here. What time were you thinking? I can make or order us some food and we can chill for a while.”

Your phone alert lets you know that there is another notification, thinking it was from Rami you picked it up. It wasn’t though it was from your friend @free-rami 

“Hey girl, have you seen this new blog ItsMeRami?” 

You almost choke. 

“No. Why?” 

“There is a rumor going around that given the title that maybe Rami is really on Tumblr.” 

“I highly doubt that, it’s probably just someone trying to stir some shit or something.I thought Rami doesn’t do social media? Though Tumblr is fairly anonymous so if he were to pick any platform to actively use this is the best one do so undercover.” 

“Yeah that’s what I thought but some of the stuff that’s been posted on there is interesting. It’s almost written as if it really is him or someone who knows him.”

 “I’m about to shower, but I will def check it out when I get out”.

“Cool, let me know what you think. I’m curious….”

“Will do, though it most likely is just some crazy fan or something.”

“Probably. People on here are crazy as hell sometimes.”

You finished your shower and ended up checking out the ItsMeRami blog. What you found had you laughing your ass off. For someone not very savvy on social media, Rami sure took to Tumblr quickly. 

A favorite thing of his, is apparently to go search for fan photos and reblog with random commentary about ‘I don’t remember this’ or ‘You look so happy’ or ‘What the hell is that guy wearing?’ or ‘Who the hell does this guy think he is?”

You are apparently going to have to have another conversation with him about the meaning of anonymous. Damn his inbox and message box must be full.

It wasn’t until you started to find his fanfiction reblogs that his comments really became hilarious.

``I don’t think I’ve ever ripped someone's shirt off with my teeth, but maybe I’ll have to try it. Any volunteers?@yourTUMBLRurl’ 

‘Why is she calling me Daddy? I’m not her father. That would be really inappropriate.’

‘Yeah sex on a beach is a no-go for me. Have you ever done that? Sand gets everywhere, including places you don’t want it to.’

‘My eyes are beautiful, aren't they? But I’ll never tell exactly what color they are, I like reading about other’s hilarious descriptions of them.’

‘Holy shit, you wrote about a character you guys haven’t even met yet?! That’s so cool, and maybe, just maybe, your characterization of this… Detective Cutie Pants is almost spot on.’

‘Wow. Benjamin fanfiction. This is.. That’s some old stuff right there!’

‘You all really love Snafu don’t you? He was a fun guy to play. I’m glad you all think he’s sexy.’

‘I’m not gay, but this is beautifully pornographic’

‘Wow that was quite a read. Personally, I’ve never actually had a threesome but it sounds quite exciting, and exhausting.’

‘This is just perfection. The setting, the writing, except those leather pants did not come off that quickly or easily.’

``I'm pretty sure my homie Elliot probably wasn’t as bold as he is here, but very creative fresh take on things. I’m going to pass this along to Sam to see what his thoughts on this are.’

Deciding to message your friend @free-rami back, all you had to say was “Whoever this is I highly suspect is just trying to do an impersonation. I mean isn’t his username for this the same as that email from the Rami Undercover Online piece from the end of the summer? Honestly, I just think it’s someone trying to rile people up.”

“I think you’re right, it’s just weird. Why would someone do this?”

Likes, attention, followers? Who knows? I’m pretty sure that it’s fake. There is no real information in the profile so it’s hard to tell, I think. No telling with the loons that are out there.”

“Did you notice that they reblogged nearly your entire masterlist?”

“Yeah I woke up to a ton of notifications. I’m going to send them a message and see if I can get to the bottom of this.”

“Let me know how it goes.”

“Will do! :)”

You message Rami again and hope that he will see it under the millions of messages that he may likely be receiving now.

“WTF!!! I thought you wanted to remain anon? Seriously? Those comments were fucking gold though but you’ve got the whole internet in a tizzy now! I’m sure this shit has already been tweeted, facebooked, snapchatted, or instagrammed. CALL ME WHEN YOU CAN AT 555-730-0054”

He messages back with “I’m not really sure what’s going on here but I have a ton of notifications and messages, I barely saw yours. Thankfully you are the only person I follow so I figured out how to message you that way. I see your other message now. I’m going to call in a second but yeah… I might have actually gone too far on some of those comments.”

He obviously hit send and then immediately called you because your phone started vibrating in your hand.

“Hey you!” 

“Hey you too! Sooooo.. What the hell did I do last night?”

“Started a fan frenzy, a shit storm, a kerfuffle, chaos. I’m on my laptop right now and I’m watching my notifications go off like crazy all of a sudden. I’m thinking that people may have figured out that I’m the only one that you follow, and they may suspect that it’s me doing this. Hold on, let me pull some asks.”

Your ask box suddenly had 596 asks. 

“Are you pretending to be Rami?” “How do you know Rami?” “Are you Rami?” “Wtf is going on?” “Are you Rami’s girlfriend?” “Eat shit and die bitch.” “You know Rami and you didn’t tell us?” “I think you are a slut. You should probably go slit your wrists.” “THIS IS INSANITY! RAMI JOINED TUMBLR AND RANDOMLY FOLLOWED YOU? WHY YOU? MY BLOG HAS BETTER CONTENT!” 

You just let out a deep sigh as you talked to Rami for a little bit longer. He agreed to come over later and you’d make him dinner. You read some of the anon messages that you started to receive and he just kept apologizing.

You told him your plan and he agreed that hopefully it would work, but you were unsure if people were willing to take the bait.

The post you made said this:

I, yourTUMBLRurl, swear that I am not the individual going around and impersonating Rami Malek on Tumblr (ItsMeRami). I do not condone that behavior, but I think that it’s also best that at this time to withhold any speculation about who this individual may be. If it really is Rami Malek then let him make that known when and if he chooses to do so. 

You then hit your inbox and deleted the hundreds of asks that you’d received mostly anonymously some full of hate and others just curious.

Okay, I had to break this up again (PART THREE)

@the-real-ramimalekpeen @mrhoemazzello @xmxisxforxmaybe @txmel @spacedustmazzello @ramimedley @hissom1933

[makeste]

some asks about BnHA 241 and 240 and then some random other asks

I agree with this completely, anon (especially given his attitude throughout the rest of the chapter), but I didn’t edit my initial response since I think there��s a good likelihood that he still deadpanned the line despite being 100% sincere. one could say he was Accidentally Sarcastic. anyways yeah, Todoroki Shouto is a disaster more at 11. 

(but also, he’s totally right and Bakugou is in full-blown denial over their blossoming friendship. because he already decided that they’re Not Friends, and thus he has to actively work to maintain that status now. which Todoroki is making very difficult these days! can you fucking do your part to keep the fucking rivalry going, Icy-Hot?? can you at least try?? why does he have to do all the work. sometimes he forgets for a moment and Todo catches him off guard and he responds normally without thinking and doesn’t realize it until later, and god. why is everything and everyone so stupid.)

I have not forgotten (though I did mix up Pixie-Bob with Mandalay though woop)! and that annoyed me too. we only have like six female pros out there as it is. why do half of them (looking at you too, Midnight) have to be mildly sex-crazed. I know it’s not serious and they’re not actually being serious, but still, is it really asking so much to get some female pros whose eccentricities are less specifically tailored to common male fantasies. you’re a fucking hero Pixie-Bob! you’re a fucking earthbender and you’re hot as heck. why are you so worried about not being able to Get A Man. with Mt. Lady it at least fits more with her general personality from what we’ve seen, I guess. anyways, y’all know I love like 98% of this series, but this is part of the 2%, so. it is what it is.

Tomura is Endgame Thanos, a.k.a. the most sinister and most genuinely frightening of the Thanoses. this really isn’t on track to end well sob.

ah, my bad. (regardless, it was still dramatic af.)

I think she’s a six-year-old (?? she seems six-ish, idk) girl who was terrified of her father and trying to stay under his radar (which was frankly the smart thing to do based on what we’ve seen), and was trying to teach her younger brother how to do the same, and I don’t blame her at all for throwing Tenko under the bus (if that’s indeed what happened); I’m sure she just panicked and didn’t mean it. she’s just a kid. -- was just a kid. anyways she was super cute and would have made a fucking awesome hero, and her death is easily the one I’m still the most raw about out of that whole fucking nightmare. I’m not getting over that. I want her to still be alive; at one point I was convinced of a conspiracy theory that AFO had secretly spared her too (because two Shimura heirs to manipulate are better than one), and Tomura only believed that she was dead due to his fragmented memories. but that seems less likely post-chapter 236.

so yeah, I’m still very upset about this. she was good and kind and loved her brother and had a lot of spirit and she did not even remotely deserve what happened to her.

thank you so much!! one of the best parts of fandom is interacting with other people and reading everyone’s different takes and theories. lord knows I miss a lot of stuff when I read, even when I’m trying very hard to pay attention. so I love when other people point stuff out and bring up ideas I hadn’t thought about.

also! without exception, every single person I’ve ever interacted with in this fandom on tumblr has been polite and courteous and civil as fuck, even on the occasions when we disagree, and I absolutely can’t take credit for that. people are just cool. so thank you everyone. (and particular shoutout to @thequietmanno1, who for some reason I can’t tag, but whom this ask is almost certainly referring to specifically.)

lmao anon this made my fucking day. thank you!!

all right, here goes!

a) this is possible for sure in that as a rule, I never put anything past AFO, and I don’t doubt for a second he’d be capable of this. but, it would kind of suck though. specifically it would suck for Tomura, who’s only just starting to come into his own at long last, and who has gone through quite a lot to get to this point. like, that would be devastating to see him reduced to a literal puppet after all of that. and if it did happen, I don’t know what the odds would be of him actually being “saved” after that (All Might at least would try, but I can’t see anyone else being concerned enough to bother. well except for the rest of the League, come to think of it. that could be interesting), and I’d be really sad if that ended up being how he went out. these things usually don’t end up working out too well for the body snatchee.

plus, this also hinges on whether or not AFO is capable of transferring his quirk to Tomura’s body. if not, there’s no way he’d take the tradeoff, regardless of how powerful Tomura’s own quirk has become at this point. that would just be a really bad deal. like trading the cow for beans, except these ones aren’t even magic beans, just like. normal beans. but if he does have a way of transferring the AFO quirk, then yeah. although he could take anyone’s body then if that was the case, and I can think of a few targets who just might be even more tempting than his protege. All Might’s protege, for one. ...you know what, this line of thinking is starting to get a little too horrifying so let’s move on to the other theory lol.

(b) a few people have mentioned the Shimura Momo theory to me, but to be totally honest, I can’t see much of a logical basis for it other than them bearing a slight resemblance and having similar hairstyles. Inko has also been brought up as potentially being related to Nana for the same reasons. it’d be cool, no doubt, but for me, I need more evidence than just that. I just don’t see how this would advance the plot or the characters’ storylines in any meaningful way. I guess it could potentially tie Momo in more to the central plot, but it’d be kind of a weird way to do it, idk.

then again I’m one to talk, because until fairly recently I was on board with Hagakure of all people turning out to be a Shimura (Hana, to be specific). she’s the traitor, she’s invisible, we never did find out what Hana’s quirk was, and this would mean that Hana was still alive this whole time which would be GREAT, because seriously fuck you Horikoshi!! but yeah that doesn’t seem likely now either. dammit.

anyway, so I’ll just say that both of these theories are possible, but for me personally, in order to be sold on a specific theory I need to be able to see how it logically fits within the storyline and how it moves the story forward. like, Dabi being Todoroki Touya is something I’m 100% on board with, because that’s an established mystery in the series (who is Touya, what happened to him, who is Dabi, etc.), and Dabi fits into place with the evidence we have, and it gives us a lot of Todoroki drama and gives Endeavor and Shouto a personal connection to the Leagu... Pliff. but for something like the Momo theory, I would need there to be some indication that there’s a third sibling we don’t know about, and some hinting about there being more to Momo’s past than we know, and right now I don’t see either of those things, so it’s hard to get on board. hopefully that makes sense.

anon I really like that you phrased this as an inevitability lol. (and I am 100% on board.)

assuming this happens at the very end of the series, I like to think Tomura and the rest of his gang will manage to “escape” the heroes (“oh no... Tomura... he’s getting away... this is awful... somebody stop him” meanwhile no one is making even the slightest effort to move lol), at which point they will live the rest of their lives happily ever after as Lovable Outlaws and All-Around Scamps. like, maybe they’ll still commit some crimes, but they won’t be like serious crimes or anything. they’ll have more of a Guardians of the Galaxy vibe, maybe. I want them to be happy and I don’t want them to go to jail even though they’re teeeeeeeechnically murderers, I GUESS (look, nobody’s perfect!!). but maybe they steal the occasional priceless artifact and inadvertently wind up saving the world. seems like the best compromise.

lol I don’t know what this means either. like in the way a Youtuber has their own brand?? or like Frito-Lays. idk all I really do is talk a lot about an extremely popular manga, so I don’t think that’d really count?? I’m fine with this just being a little tumblr discussion blog haha.

so I’ve gotten like a half dozen asks and messages about this lol. (someone actually told me a very specific detail about said past! so just to remind everyone, I’m spoiler-free on Vigilantes right now guys, I’m sorry. I know it’s no fun.) I regret to admit that I still have not yet gotten around to it. I don’t know what it is, but I’m having a lot of trouble reading new stuff right now. I tried to start the other new BnHA spin-off which @temperatezone told me about (and btw no I did not know about it, so thank you!!) (and also! BnHA has THREE SEPARATE FUCKING SPIN-OFFS right now, how fucking crazy is that. like, I don’t want to accuse a manga series of literally trying to take over the world, but!! seriously that’s just insane), which has an amazing premise, but I haven’t had time/been in the right mindset to start that yet either. it sucks. I’m sorry. I’m working on it. ;;

press f to pay respects to what could have been, guys. they literally had it all. class, an ironic acronym, you name it. and now it’s just PLF. the Iron Patriot of villain organization names.

[jessie-lou]

This is my blog, I can do what I want, so I’m gonna selfishly whine about things getting canceled for a bit. BUT I’m gonna put it below the cut so that no one has to see negativity. I know there’s already plenty of that out there right now. 

GOD FUCKING DAMMIT

Ok so now the CDC is telling people to stay away from crowds as big as 50+ instead of 250+ for EIGHT WEEKS. The museum has TWO events planned within the next 8 weeks and wouldn’t ya know, I was actually LOOKING FORWARD TO THEM. I normally dread museum events but these were gonna be fun!!! A car show in our parking lot and a music documentary screening!!! 

First the conference I was so excited about gets fucked up and now this. (My boss hasn’t actually called me back about whether or not we’re canceling/rescheduling, but I’d be surprised if we keep the current dates). 

Also, not a single board member has reached out to us. Every other museum and library in this country has had meetings or at least email exchanges to discuss their plan- cutting hours, closing, whatever. But not us. Because it’s a shitshow and this board doesn’t actually care about what the museum does or the people who work there. 

Anyway. I know this whining sounds super dumb. And it is selfish. But like. As you might know from my numerous emotional breakdown posts, I’ve been Going Through Some Shit for the last several months. And I’ve really been clinging to having stuff to look forward to. And it’s all getting taken away from me. I know I’m not alone in this, things are getting taken away from everyone right now. But I’m just talking about me because I need to take care of myself. 

My go-to plan for stuff like this is to find alternatives. To find something new to look forward to. But that’s hard right now because everything is closed/canceled and we don’t really know how long this is gonna last beyond the 8 weeks. I’ll keep trying of course. But who knows how this is gonna go. 

2020 off to a great start. 

[loxxxlay]

In your BOH series, is there any quirky habit the brothers have that they forget is not a normal thing to do? Something that even made their friends scratch their heads and squint their eyes. Not the abuse that’s too easy, lol. Something a bit more subtle.

Hey, same anon. I just meant that the sex is an obvious weird habit.😂 I was just wondering about maybe some non-sexual habits. But I guess you can add on to that question and talk about the intimacy because I do think that’s interesting to talk about.

I did mostly non-sexual habits, but I also threw in some sexual ones because I am a depraved demon. XD Also, I focused mostly on post-BoH because a lot of these behaviors don’t really start showing til they’re back on talking terms.

In general, I think a lot of Loki’s habits remain the same? He’s been through the wringer in terms of abuse (this is a pro-thanos-tortured-loki blog after all XD), but he’s definitely gained some new ones! As for thor, whose only real trauma until now has been the loss of his family, he’s had a lot more to lose and therefore a lot more quirky habits to gain. XD

but anyway here’s some stuff they do together or in relation to each other

they stick to each other like glue. Esp directly post-BoH, you will rarely see one without the other because they’ve been so emotionally co-dependent on each other. It’s definitely annoying at first for thor’s friends because they can never see him one-on-one anymore? but they accept it because thor seems to be a lot more relaxed when Loki is present. (which I’m sure .. is not a situation Loki enjoys finding himself in again. but thor is a lot more aggressively defensive of Loki now… like his friends are the third wheel… so it’s okay.)

Loki is hyperaware of thor’s presence at all times XD When somebody asks where thor is randomly, Loki will immediately have a location and the activity thor is doing, no matter what. if they’re in the same room, he’ll constantly be looking&checking for thor’s location too. Both of which are kinda creepy to people who don’t understand why. On the flip side, thor doesn’t always know where Loki is because during trauma sometimes it was easier for him not to know… But when somebody asks him directly , he’ll feel an irrational amount of guilt for not being able to answer. :(

If they’re together, thor’ll often seek Loki’s approval/permission to do things–like talking to people or going off alone with people or pretty much anything. It’s subtle (like, thor will glance at Loki before agreeing to anything, and Loki will give a quick nod without thinking to reassure him), but it’s noticeable and def gets the other avengers worried about what’s going on. When thor is without Loki, he’ll deeply struggle with decision-making. this goes for food/drink too. And like, Loki is unlikely to touch anything that wasn’t prepared by him, but thor will, as long as Loki gives his approval (which Loki does, because he can recognize his fears are irrational when applying them to thor… also he wants thor to eat dammit). thor, much to his own chagrin, does not have the same sway in getting Loki to eat though >.> 

if the two have been apart for a while, when they see each other, they’ll immediately check each other for any injuries. Loki will sidle up to thor, saying “how are you?” casually, whilst he checks the undersides of thor’s wrists. thor himself will give loki a quick bodily scan as he responds. and u can imagine everyone is always like wtf lol, but the bros don’t even think about it.

for movie nights, romance scenes are a Hard No. if there’s a kiss scene that lasts longer than 1 second, they’ll either get an instant boner or be exaggeratedly repulsed (loki usually the former, thor usually the latter). once the avengers know about Certain Things, they quickly accommodate this by having a designated “Movie Screener” every week who can keep track of the time stamps for triggering scenes :D

they both absolutely *hate* loud party-like music. if they’re in a situation where it’s unavoidable - loki will be a rising crescendo of anxiety (talking faster and faster, trembling more and more, just overall panicking, which expresses itself in a heightened irritability). He probably gets to the point of almost fainting until he can slip away. thor, on the other hand, just shuts off. Immediately. His face goes slack and he stops speaking  or doing anything really, and it takes a while for him to be coaxed out of it, even once he’s removed from the situation

and a sexual one: sometimes they both straight up accidentally kiss instead of hug. in front of everyone. they never mean to. which doesn’t seem like a big deal post-BoH, but first of all - the avengers don’t know they’re fucking so this is Super Weird lol. and second of all, the bros are both super triggered by PDA. So after kissing in front of ppl, they’ll freak out, probably put a shit ton of distance (if not walls) between them… which…. is frankly even weirder to the Avengers lol. like, okay incestuous kissing, weird, but maybe it can be rationalized as a silly Asgardian custom… at least until Loki is all but sprinting out the door and thor is puking into a stray vase lol

And then here we have some more individual habitsss (and maybe ones that are a little less subtle and a little more sexual):

thor becomes way less physically affectionate. less hugs, less pats on the back, less of all touching. :( he often will go stiff or shy away when other ppl touch him now too

loki was already like ^^^, but now, often when he’s comfortable, off-guard, or maybe intoxicated, he’ll become almost inappropriately sexual (and not only with thor, with anyone). mostly he’ll be verbally flirtatious, but his hugs and shoulder pats will sometimes come with sexual caresses lol #yikes

thor stops drinking. he’ll binge-drink some nights if something triggering has happened, but social drink is a no. when it’s bad, he doesn’t even like to be around other people who are drinking (unless it’s Loki)

Loki will take constant, constant baths. Like bathing 2+ times a day. He feels he needs to scrub the ick off himself. Which is very cliche, but it’s what he does okay so there.

and i already have talked about this, but thor requires constant social interaction. he always wants to be around people (mainly his friends; he might be a little shyer of strangers than usual) at all times. whereas Loki 100% isolates himself when thor is busy. He’ll allow a couple of close friends (i.e. Val) to spend time with him but only every 3-5 business days and they have to initiate. XD

Anyway that’s probably not all I got but that’s all I feel is acceptable to say in one post lmao. thank you so so so much for the ask, this was SO MUCH FUN oh my god. Weird Quirky Habits Spawned From trauma are MY FAVORItE tHING EVER like i’m not even joking. Every time i write a fic about noncon, my brain instantly goes to “yeah but what does it make them do” so this was a great opportunity to be self-indulgent. thank you XD

[kriscynical]

Retropalooza 2018

So as already stated, Bree and I went to Retropalooza this weekend and had an absolute blast as always. This was our third year to go, and we love this con to bits. It’s practically in my backyard, only 20 minutes away from my house. It’s big enough to have good guests and a sizable dealer’s room, but still small enough to be fun. I dread the day when that happy medium finally gets tipped because of growth. You always want a con to be successful but... you know. 

As a side note, if the con you are running is for retro gaming and started out as a swap meet, if you’re suddenly going to ban screwdrivers at the door, perhaps you should mention that on your website beforehand? Seeing as how screwdrivers are... you know... the only way to definitely check the authenticity of retro game carts? That way your attendees won’t have to sprint back out to their cars in 10000% humidity in end-of-September-in-Texas heat. Just a suggestion, guys. 

But anyway.

I don’t talk about it much on this blog, but I follow a lot of gaming YouTubers. I’m not as religious about it as some people are, but I enjoy listening to gaming content while I’m working, especially letsplays. Retropalooza always has several YouTubers I follow as guests, which adds to the fun factor. This year’s guests that Bree and I were into were Jirard and Alex of Super Beard Bros and The Completionist, Norman Caruso of The Gaming Historian, James Rolfe of The Angry Video Game Nerd, and Arlo. Every single one of them are super nice, although AVGN being there this year caused a bit of bullshit to happen which I’ll detail in a little bit.

I have a little third party NES/SNES console, the RetroDuo, which I’ve had my favorite YouTubers sign for the last three years, all at this con. It’s usually displayed on one of the bookshelves in my studio. This year’s additions were Arlo and James Rolfe. It’s pretty full now:

This is long because of several photos from meet and greets as well as my Zelda haul from the dealer’s room, so...

Arlo! I just discovered his channel over the spring and this was conveniently the first year for him to be at Retropalooza. His content is really fun, and I always look forward to his reactions and discussions to Nintendo Directs and E3. His reaction to the E3 Metroid Prime 4 teaser reveal in particular was priceless.

I’ve met Norman in years past, so we just went to his panel this year. His panels are usually a live version of a Gaming Historian episode along with some Q&A and a little game show based on information from his videos. His live episode was on Punch-Out. He usually does Jeopardy! as the game format, but this time he changed it up to Who Wants to be a Millionaire?... and the lady he picked out of the audience to participate didn’t know the answer to a single damn question. I don’t know why she even raised her hand, because it wasn’t like he even asked anything difficult in the first few questions! If you watched his videos even once you’d know the answers. Bree and I were frustrated because we probably could have gotten to the million dollar question. >:\

Later in the day was AVGN’s panel, and that’s where the bullshit comes in. From the time we first got to the con on Saturday Bree and I noticed that it was way more crowded than usual, enough to get her anxiety going. AVGN doesn’t make a whole lot of convention appearances, so obviously the uptick in attendance was due to him. The people who run this con know gaming, particularly on YouTube since all of their guests are YouTubers. They should have known AVGN was going to attract hoards of people. Did they prepare for that? Of course not. 

Bree and I go to the panel room he’s scheduled to be in 15 minutes before the previous panel ends, and we get our seats. Jirard’s Completionist panel is scheduled right after AVGN in the same room, so we plan to camp out for a little while. 

Right as the previous panel is ending con staff announces that AVGN has been moved to main events, and everybody exits in one mass trying to get over to main events as quickly as possible. We ended up stuck in a massive line that snaked down the hallway and back, and before we know it it’s 1:15... 15 minutes past when the panel was supposed to start. So now we know that if we get IN to this panel, we’re going to have to miss a good chunk of it because for both of us it’s more important to see Jirard’s panel than AVGN. We’re also afraid that AVGN’s panel running over is just going to decimate Jirard’s numbers. 

Con staff comes back and says there won’t be enough chairs for everyone but there’s basically unlimited standing room, which isn’t great for me or my back. They then ask if anybody has a condition that won’t allow them to stand for an entire panel, and I raise my hand. I tell them I had back surgery a few months ago and they say okay, we’ll get you a chair. Which they did. Once they started letting people in they pulled Bree and I out of line and escorted us to two chairs behind the back row, one for me and one for her since she was with me. 

She proceeds to post this to her Snapchat:

This was what the room looked like when the panel started, at 1:25:

We still can’t believe the con didn’t anticipate this. This was the dealer’s room. Meaning the acoustics sucked ass. We couldn’t understand a single thing that was being asked or answered, nor could most of the people in the back of the room. As a result, several people left within the first 10 minutes (and the overall crowds at the con dropped like a ROCK after that panel was over, thank god!). At about 1:45 we gave up and left, too, to go grab seats for Jirard’s Completionist panel, which worked out well because we got front row. Thankfully the room was mostly full by the time the panel started, too.

The Completionist panel was the best of the weekend that we attended, imo. Bree and I were smiling and laughing through the whole thing because it was just that much fun. He had nothing planned because he’d been in Japan until a couple days before that, so it was just a laid back Q&A. He called on both of us to ask questions, and my question (“Given what you just said about Sleepy Jirard, would you say it’s a cure for Jirard Syndrome?”) got quite a bit of an audience reaction as well as a reaction from him, followed by “That was a good question.” with a laugh after he answered. Bree and I hope we can find video of this panel on YouTube soon.

After his panel we went back to the dealer’s room and found him and Alex at their guest table, they recognized us from years past (“Oh hey, guys!”), we chatted for a bit, took pictures, and I gave both of them some little goodies I’d made based on the Kaizo episodes of Super Beard Bros:

These are buttons Bree wanted of the designs I made. I gave both Alex and Jirard keychains of “Ladies and Gentlemen: The Bullet”, then gave Alex “The Goochy” and Jirard “This is not how I end”. They both liked them a LOT and Alex said he was going to put the bullet on his keys, which made me ridiculously happy. These will be available at next year’s A-Kon. 

Before we left for the day on Saturday we saw that the line for AVGN wasn’t too bad, so we decided to give it a shot for autographs and pictures. Thankfully it only took about ten minutes to get through the line, and even though the con had fucked up his panel royally, James was super nice when we got to meet him.

I didn’t realize he had made that face until I saw the picture afterwords. If I had known, I would have made a face, too, dammit! >:\

On Sunday we brought along my mom so she could 1) see what a retro gaming con was like since she’d only been to anime cons, and 2) see the Beard Bros panel/meet them because I had gotten her into their channel over the summer via the Kaizo videos. I introduced her to them separately since they were each talking to different people, and when I said “I recently got her into Super Beard Bros” both of them independently said “I’m sorry” as a response without having heard the other do so. lol 

I’m posting this picture again because I love it. Y’all can deal with it. You’ve read this far.

I had printed out a shot of the Beard Bros title card so my mom could get it signed, and she did. She said she thoroughly enjoyed herself at the con, and I’m hoping she can come out on Sunday next year, too. She bought an NES cart of Classic Concentration, a game that she and I played together on my NES all the time when I was a kid. I wish they’d bring it back on TV because it was a good game show, dammit. 

My Zelda Haul:

The three game box covers are mounted on 1/2″ foam core and I plan to hang them over the TV in my studio since that’s where all of my retro gaming stuff is set up. The BotW box art is layered 3D cutout in a shadow box frame. The Hylian Shield is a new pillow to add to my gaming chair. Not pictured: a Sheik Amiibo that the seller gave me a good price on after some haggling, and a replacement gold Wii remote to replace the one the batteries destroyed a couple months ago. I got that for a really good price, too, from a different seller. He was selling it as a bundle with Skyward Sword, and I of course didn’t need the game. 

“Will you sell this by itself?”

“I was selling it as a bundle, but sure.”

“How much?”

“What will you offer me?”

“Uh... I dunno? I don’t know what it’s going for online right now.”

Bree said, “I’ll check.” and pulled out her phone. I had only seen it in one game shop here in Arlington for $80 and hadn’t tried looking online yet. She turned her phone to the guy and said “On eBay it’s going for anywhere from $45 to $82.”

So then the guy says to me again, “Okay. So what will you offer me?”

“$50?”

“Cash?”

“Yep.”

“Done.”

Yaaaaaaas.

THIS THING is the crown jewel of my haul and I love it to pieces. Guh. I picked it up on Saturday.

Just LOOK AT IT. I bought it from the same seller as the Sheik Amiibo, and I referred to it as “my baby” for the rest of the day and carried it in front of me in its box quite proudly. I had several people tell me it was badass and that was satisfying. Every time I had to get into my backpack for something I told Bree, “Hold my baby.” before handing it over. 

I think I got him for a great price, too. After reaching a deal on Sheik I asked the guy how much the figure was, and he said $100 but asked what I would offer for it. He’d had it up on eBay but pulled it after a week because it wasn’t selling. I’ve only seen it for $110-120+ online, but I went ahead and tried to haggle some more because why the hell not. I asked if he’d do $80, then he asked if I’d do $90 because he gave me a good deal on Sheik (he really did... $10 off of his asking price which was almost a third total!), and I agreed. He said that made him happy because he’d rather the figure go to me “because it looks like you’ll take care of the box” to which I told him yes, of course, I keep all of my boxes in a safe place, and his buddy said “That’s the way to do it!!”. 

And that’s that. I spent the most money this year of any year before now, but I don’t regret a cent of it. Especially on my baby. Bree and I already can’t wait for next year!

[seenashwrite]

Failing Grace

Status: Complete Word Count: No idea, it doesn’t matter in these situations Category: Continuation, Humor, Satire, Reader Insert Spoof, Pseudo-script format, Snark Rating: (Older) Teen & up Character(s): Dean, Faux!Nash, a Y/N, the usual Pairings: Sweet babby jeebus, no Warning(s): Mild-to-moderate coarse language; Mild sexual references; Spit-take potential; Hurt fee-fees potential Author’s Note(s): You need to take a few minutes to catch up on The Nope Saga, or you’re going to have no clue what’s going on; this is what “There But For The Grace” began as; cleaning out drafts so here we are; satire is not to be taken as an attack on Y/N or any other writer personally; any similarity to any *specific* fic is purely coincidental; more post-story Overall Summary: We are mid-summer, things are heating up, sounds like there’s a need for some Freeze. Mother-frakkin’. Frame. Overall Summary Disclaimer: That is a complete lie.

In a nondescript town in a nondescript state in a coffee shop crafted lovingly by fanfic authors, in a small booth in the farthest corner from the door sits A WOMAN, legs crossed, head down, scrolling through phone, occasionally sipping on a mocha-something-something which the BARISTA, who bears a striking resemblance to some character from something-or-other, has prepared. Er, crafted. Lovingly.

We begin our story as the bell above the door jingles...

[A MAN in Peaky Blinders cosplay enters a coffee shop, glances around, makes a beeline for a booth, sits, utters a somewhat timid greeting to its occupant, a woman, NASH, who does not acknowledge him, though he gives a thanks for agreeing to meet him; there's some fidgeting, definite dread, now the hat is making his scalp sweat, and his tie is too tight, and is it warm in here, why is the heat on in July, are they insane, they serve hot coffee, this isn't difficult]

[Nash scrolls on. The foot of the leg which is crossed bobs in anger. Cheeks flush. Jaw clamps.]

[WAITRESS approaches. She is visibly taken to loins-town on account of MAN]

Waitress: Um. [giggles softly] Can I ----

Nash: [doesn't look up] No.

Waitress: But he ----

Nash: [still scrolling] Isn't thirsty.

Waitress: Like, um, so, are you two ----

Nash: [not a glance] Go find some whipped cream to squirt, W'Hye-Enne.

W'Hye-Enne: [blinks in surprise, glances down at nametag pinned to hefty bosom, then back to Nash] How did you know the way my name ----

Nash: [aggressively scrolling now] You are legion. Leave my presence immediately, my skills in character development bottom out when any of you stand this close.

W'Hye-Enne: [pouts because she is twelve, looks to MAN for assist; he is fussing with his hair, following the strategic placing of his hat upon the table away from anything that might slosh upon it; she stomps away]

Nash: [continues to be very focused on scrolling] Well. Dean. You've been a busy bee. Bat. Sugar glider. Pigeon.

Dean: [exhales loudly] Whew. Oh, good. Okay. I didn't know if you'd recognize me when you saw me. 'Cause, you know... trying out this new look and all.

Nash: [slowly raises a flat gaze to meet his eyes, which are absolutely not glowing] No worries there, I recognized your voice, even through the whatever-that-is you're doing with it when you called ----

Dean: [mild groan] Seriously? I'll work on it.

Nash: ---- and you still look like you, even with the new duds, Discount Tom Hardy.

Dean: No, don't call me Tom - when we're out in public, call me Michael. [pause] Hey, wait a sec. Why'd you call me by my name in the first place? Aren't you staying on top of the documentaries? [glances around, whispers] The last few parts have been kind've a big deal.

Nash: [sets phone to side, slams tightly clasped hands onto table top, leans over on forearms so her hissed response may be clearly heard by the target of her considerable ire] Why'd you call me here? Risk pulling me into another active fic after that last fiasco with Sam? 

Dean: This isn’t a fic, one dumb waitress ----

Nash: She responded to the name! Dammit, Dean! We had a deal.

Dean: [chuckles] That's funny, I just said that the other night to -----

Nash: Uh-huh. I know. Boy howdy, do I know. Motherfucking.... I can't even.... I don't know where to.... I just....

Dean: Hey, you're not the only one that's caught up. 'Cause speaking of calling me what you should be calling me, since you know I'm undercover ----

Nash: [scathingly sarcastic] Oh, bang-up job, Boardwalk Empire, you totes blend in.

Dean: ---- I read all that stuff you wrote, and I knew you were mean, but damn, Nash! I'll be honest, my feelings almost got hurt, with all the insults!

Nash: [clutches at non-existent pearls] Well my stars, Dean, not your fee-fees! Which one did it? Redneck Neo?

Dean: [gives Nash a look]

Nash: Mickey Dean: Ba da ba ba bah, he's suckin' it! - that one?

Dean: [sits back, crosses arms, glares, not even a hint of blue orbing]

Nash: Demon!Dean, Part Two: Oh, THIS Shtick Again?

Dean: Are you trying to be a bitch?

Nash: Does this seem like an attempt, Wank Beneath My Wings?

Dean: [rolls eyes, sighs] Look, I need some advice, and I thought you'd wanna get in on that action, 'cause you like seeing me get myself in trouble, then telling me how I'm wrong, don't you?

Nash: [considers; sits back and crosses arms as well] I'm listening.

Dean: So this is.... this is weird. It's not like the usual stuff. The bang fests. I mean, I'm sure that'll come up, I'm working this look, you gotta admit. [wiggles eyebrows, winks]

Nash: .....

Dean: .....

Nash: .....

Dean: [clears throat] And, uh, I can deal with that, you taught us how to get out of those stories, and thanks by the way, I haven't thanked you enough, really, for how awesome you are, in general, not for that or how you totally came through for me - for Sam - this last time, that was.... was.... um....

Nash: [stares]

Dean: Yeah, so, see, Michael, he's not exactly what everybody.... he comes across as a real hard-ass. You know, everything's black and white, humanity's wrecked the gifts we were given, the earth needs purifying. He's a jumbo-size salt-and-burner, if you wanna get right down to it.

Nash: Except we're alive.

Dean: Heh. Yeah. Not a "big picture" guy. And he did lie, nobody's surprised - the whole thing about giving me my body back, 'course he wouldn't. [sly grin] 'Cause, hey, why would he, amirite?

Nash: [stare, part deux]

Dean: Not even one compliment. Not a-one.

Nash: Nope.

Dean: I'm not at all attractive to you? I've seen what other stuff you've written about me ----

Nash: [groans at Dean, and not in the good way] Enough with the blog stalking, all right?

Dean: ---- AAAAND if what you say is true, which it ain't, about this being Demon!Me again, then you're lying to yourself. You liked me when I was doing... doing demon... being demony.

Nash: Oh, Demon!Dean can Get It.

Dean: [all the looks, all the incredulous, makes big sweeping gestures at himself]

W'Hye-Enne: [scurries over] Were you waving at me to come and ----

Dean and Nash: No.

W'Hye-Enne: [huffs, turns, spots BARISTA, who is apparently off work and is presently sitting at a table, gazing out the window, mightily brooding; she hesitates; looks to Dean; looks back; looks to Dean again; completely ignores Nash] Still, if you want me to ---- 

Nash: [with a look that bores deep through W'Hye-Enne’s soul] I have a gun.

Dean: [frowns at Nash] You do?

Nash: [tilts head at purse sitting on table, not breaking eye contact with W'Hye-Enne even a little]

[W'Hye-Enne’s eyes widen; she reverse-scurries to the other table without another word]

Dean: [slides purse closer] You've upgraded. It's bigger than the last one.

Nash: Bigger gun.

Dean: [unzips, looks inside; grins approvingly at flask; inspects gun; brings head up to gaze upon Nash, forlorn] 'S my gun.

Nash: Not anymore. It was all alone in the bunker, stuck in a random drawer, next to your mom's long-abandoned, yet fully-charged cell phone. It needed a good home.

Dean: You put it in a pink holster? Where does somebody even get a pink holster?

Nash: I'm not giving the gun back.

Dean: [zips purse, pushes away, mutters] But.... I kinda.... I might need a gun.

Nash: What does an archangel sword need with a gun? [a pause] Shit, that's not half-bad, I need to write that down.

Dean: Sounds too much like "What does God need with a starship". Unless it's an homage.

Nash: Nah, pass. It's too close. You're right.

Dean: [shit eating grin©℗™] Now we're gettin' somewhere.

Nash: We're getting nowhere. Speaking of nowhere - Where. Is. Michael?

Dean: He's... I guess you could say, caught in a fantasy. For him it's a fantasy, with all the raining hellfire down.

Nash: How'd you manage that? Nice little witchy trick? Making deals with djinn?

Dean: Trick, yeah, witch, bleeerrrgh. And no deals. Like I say, Michael’s not exactly what people think, he’s not playing with a full deck.

Nash: He’s dumb?

Dean: More gullible. Anyway, Gabriel was happy to help - I mean, Loki, Gabriel, either way you slice it, he loves doing that crap. Oh yeah, he's not really dead ---

[Dean and Nash in unison]: --- because of course he's not ---

Dean: --- and he's the only one we've got that can distract Michael, stick him on a hamster wheel, let him run til he gets worn out. Last I heard, dude thinks he's taken out Florida with some meteor-sinkhole action.

Nash: ....

Dean: ....

Nash: I meeeaaaan.....

Dean: [nods] Agreed. But Daytona's treated me right in the past, can't lie.

Nash: [eyes Dean carefully, thoughts brewing like coffee, which is a stupid analogy, adding to the signs of danger that may surround them]

Dean: [sighs] What'd I say?

Nash: You needed a vacation, didn't you?

Dean: [slight batting of lashes, widens non-glowing eyes innocently] What? Why would you think that?

Nash: Holy shitsnacks, I'm right.

Dean: Now, wait - don't get all judgy, Michael did have me by the berries for a minute there.

Nash: I still can't believe you just cut out! Not that your whole beach scenario didn't sound great, y'all deserve a break, but jeez, Dean!

Dean: Think about it: I knew Sam wasn't gonna die -----

[Dean and Nash in unison] ---- because of course he wasn't -----

Dean: ----- even though Lucifer's not really dead ----

[Dean and Nash in unison] ---- because of course he isn't ----

Nash: [in brief, but mandatory follow-up interruption] Hashtag-Fuck-Dabb, unoriginal basic boy-bitch.

Dean: I don't know what the hell you're talking about, but if he's got anything to do with our lives being kinda weird yet somehow predictable this last year or so, I agree with you, and Fuck Dabb.

[Dean and Nash look to THE READER in kinship, breaking fourth wall, though they do not freeze frame]

Dean: Anyway, even though Luci'll turn up, I'm betting it won't be right away, you know? And Sam's probably so torqued up, well, I'll kinda feel sorry for our resident Satan.

Nash: [nods] If this is Demon!Dean v2.0, then I've got my fingers crossed Sam will be in BAMF mode, 'cause goddamn, there was this brief window of time where the both of you were just [chef's kiss] It was a sight to behold.

Dean: [wicked smile]

Nash: I'm not apologizing or making excuses for being swoony during that part. THAT PART. But what about Jack? He looooooves you guys, he's jonesing to have a go at Mikey, so...?

Dean: The kid's wearing me out, every day we're starting from scratch, it's like he's got fucking Memento disease.

Nash: You ripped that from Mulaney.

Dean: [barks out his stellar riposte loudly] I'M HOMAGING

[PATRONS stop their conversations, shocked, turning heads toward Dean and Nash]

Nash: [smiles sweetly at them] But no worries! Doctor says it's almost run its course. [PATRONS go back to their chatter; Nash goes back to Dean] That's not homage, that's a dead-to-rights lift from a great writer, and add it to the list of reasons I think we're in a fic!

Dean: [slight pause] So, we might be in a fic.

Nash: [puts hand on purse, begins to slide out of booth] I am gone-baby-gone.

Dean: [grabs her wrist] Wait, how? How are you gonna ----

Nash: You think I don’t have a contingency plan after that last ass-disaster of an adventure you drug me on?

Dean: [leans in close, whispers] It wasn’t all bad. You can’t tell me you haven’t thought about that kiss! You know you do. Say it.

Nash: [also leans in; real close; real-REAL close; nearly touches her lips to his; gives the entirety of his face the ol’ once-over; does not look up at him through lashes because this is physically impossible; waits a few beats]

Dean: [trembles slightly; holds breath] 

Nash: [through barely parted lips] Nooooope.

Dean: [possibly a slight pout; definitely with The Face as he leans back; he does remember to exhale the breath he did not forget he was holding]

Nash: Get to it. What's the issue?

Dean: It's this thing I've never done before, and I've done a lot.

Nash: [slight frown] I thought you said the bumping nasties hadn't kicked in yet.

Dean: [shakes head] No, this doesn't have anything to do with that. At least, it shouldn't.

Nash: [eye roll, possibly exasperated; scratch that - absolutely exasperated] Why you won't hear me on this is unreal: anything can happen in fic.

Dean: Well.... anybody ever have me freeze?

Nash: Define "freeze".

Dean: Freeze! I just stop. And I'm not doing it. It's random, the stopping - and I mean full stop, people running into me, cars swerving - and I smirk and look off to the side, and I can't move, can't even blink, and did I mention the glowy shit that still pops up sometimes?

Nash: [puzzled; touch of worry; this comes up later] Ah, no, you did not.

Dean: Dries my eyes out like you wouldn't believe, the black demon stuff was so moisturizing, I didn’t have under-eye bags, I swear my eyelashes got thicker ----

Nash: [snaps fingers] The freezing!

Dean: Right, right. Happened at a urinal the other day, so that was real fun, zipper down, junk out for fifteen minutes. And last week? In Ikea? 

Nash: In. Ikea.

Dean: Hours, Nash. Hours. And on the street,  women keep stopping and taking selfies with me, some of 'em complained about the woo eyes blowing out their phones. Ingrates. And some... some of them.... [trails off, legit blushes]

Nash: Yes?

Dean: They copped a feel.

Nash: [grins]

Dean: Really?

Nash: Sorry, I just... you think fic writers are making you do that, with the stopping and staring?

Dean: Um, it's me doing something not-me, so that was my guess.

Nash: N-no. That's... even the writers who turn you into... that's... uh-uh.  You're no good to them standing still. At least your pelvis has to move.

Dean: [with a look] No way you've read everything out there, somebody coulda made me a mannequin or something, so ----

Nash: You ain't tracking with me, here. I saw you walking that first time, in the, ah, documentaries. Didn't exactly start hearing the Bee Gees in the background, but there's swagger happening. [frowns briefly, pondering, mutters to self] Why am I complimenting him? [shakes self out of it]  I'm trying to tell you: by and large, that whole thing with the camera stare, it was not of the sexy, the full-body Botox routine, and ----

Dean: [holds up hand] Hang on. What camera?

Nash: [legit perplexed, though not speechless] Listen, there's some real shit-the-bed stories out there with you and Sam acting in ways that are just beyond recognition -----

Dean: Gee, you don't say!

Nash: ----- but I assure you, even the ones that can't manage to have you cruise down a sidewalk without describing every crack aren't making you do that! And 'what camera?' WHAT CAMERA?!  It's the show--- I MEAN! ---the, uh, documentary people! You didn't see them?

Dean: No. I never see them. They're sneaky.

[Nash's jaw drops, stays that way; Dean reaches out, pushes chin up to close mouth; does not stay that way long]

Nash: You. Looked. Right. At. The. Lens.

Dean: Wait a sec - you think the documentary people are somehow making me.... Ohhh! [eyes widen, zero neon present] Are they spirits or something? And that's why I never see them?  They're invisible? 'Cause if it's not the fic writers, then... you think it's the documentary crew dicking around, possessing me?

Nash: [frustrated, fists clenching, blurts out response] Grrrrr.... NO they aren't spirits! It's not THEM! it's the WRITERS!

Dean: [nods excitedly, eyes sparkling with said excitement, but Are. Not. Glowing. And if they did, it'd be something more interesting than plain ol' angel blue, since this is neither an ordinary angel, nor a typical situation] Duh, that's what I've been saying! The fanfic writers!

Nash: Not the fanfic --- nevermind. [sighs; regroups; tries to think of something as is not ready to go down the PS: You Don’t Exist road] It could be seizures.

Dean: It's not seizures.

Nash: Why am I here if you're not going to ---

Dean: Sorry, sorry, okay - what else can make me freeze up? And don't say ice cream, or catching Sam shaking hands with the milkman, or the prospect of banging you, or ----

Nash: [raises eyebrow, puts hand on purse, begins to scoot out of booth]

Dean: [clamps a strong, slightly calloused, warm, thick-fingered hand atop hers, squeezing gently] No! Don't go!

Nash: [stares down at hand; Dean is now holding it; rubs thumb over her knuckles; it does not seem off-putting in the slightest; this visibly concerns her]

Dean: Please?

Nash: [looks up, finds her tummy flutters at the desperate-yet-dashing expression on that mug]

Dean: [eyes inexplicably greener, possibly glassy] I need you.

Nash: [scoots back in, but glances up, over, around the coffee shop] Something's not right.

Dean: Maybe you're... maybe you’re not wrong, maybe we are in some sort of fic, but I'm not the lead, I'm positive, it's been two months of nothing.

Nash: You can never be sure of that, Gatsby.  The second you let your guard down ----

Dean: Who are you talking to, here? I KNOW I screwed up last time, but I'm sure - how do you explain the waitress, huh? No way we'd be able to keep her at bay if she's supposed to be whining to me or riding me or fluffing me... hey, do you think those writers are aware of what fluffing means, because -----

Nash: [eyeing the heavy flirting going down between the not-Velma and not-Hawkeye across the room] It's starting to look an awful lot like a cross-over, Dean, I'm not kidding. And if I'm some throw-away chick that's gonna be the fourth wheel to a threesome, that's not good. At all. Case fics are one thing, pairings are another. I could get really hurt.

Dean: Not a chance, not while I got your back. Your front. Whole thing, I got you.

Nash: And I’ve got the urge extend my leg and run your jewels.

Dean: [ignoring Nash, natch] If it is what’s happening, and that's a big if, it'd mean you and I are.... and we're not... we'd never.... we'd probably just.... No. No, we'd never.

Nash: [with a look] We. Are. Holding. HANDS.

[Dean and Nash jerk hands away, stare at one another]

Dean: .....

Nash: .....

Dean: We'd be good at it, no doubt.

Nash: Oh, of course! We're awesome on our own ---

Dean: Heh.

Nash: [with bonus look] I mean with other people. Besides us hating each other, it's for the safety of the world that we shouldn't, above all.

Dean: We'd rock the foundation of the very universe.

Nash: Talk about apocalypses.

Dean: Damn right.

Nash: So, speaking of that... you got bigger problems than going ice princess. Even if you're headed off to the Bahamas, or Mexico, or the Redneck Riviera, there's something you should know about. Because it won't matter how far you go, it'll find you, and it's... it's pretty concerning.

Dean: It freaks me out when you get sincere.

Nash: It's not anything you'd go looking for in the blogs, and it's not something you've faced before. At least, I don't think. [frowns briefly, thinking] I mean, we are talking fic, here. But this usually falls to Luci and Gabe and Gaddy and Cas. Oh my biscuits, poor ol' Cas.

Dean: [wary] You're actually scaring me. This is me, scared.

Nash: Angels leave residuals inside you, right?

Dean: Is that some sort of euphemism?

Nash: Grace, dipshit. I'm talking grace. Glowy-woozy stuff. You said your eyes have still gone woo every now and then, yeah?

Dean: Yeah....

Nash: So even though Mikey's off in inception land, he must've left some in you. And that's bad. Especially since the fic writers don't know about your whole switch-hit. Nobody knows much about Mikey, he's a  badass blank slate, he could be anything, and they're gonna use that. By way of you.

Dean: Use?

Nash: [deep breath, exhales, no forgets]  It's called the Grace Kink.

Dean: [chuckles] Jeez, you had me worried. Listen, the kinky ones can actually be fun, so don't ----

Nash: [shakes head slowly] You don't understand. If you think you've been exhausted by the sex before? This is raw-doggin' on a whooooole 'nother level.

[Nash proceeds to explain Grace Kink to the best of her ability; pulls up a few examples on her phone; Dean takes Nash’s flask from her purse without asking, excuses himself to go outside for some air; Nash gets another latte; Dean freeze-frames for approximately ten minutes; a squirrel climbs him and perches atop his head for three of them; Nash tries on his hat, admires herself as is totes cute; the squirrel leaps off as Dean unfreezes, batting it away; it does not fly; Nash appreciates this irony; Dean returns, draining flask as he walks; still flustered, he pours remaining liquor into the latte, gulps down most of it, also without asking; he snatches his hat from Nash’s head]

Dean: [putting on hat] So what did you mean earlier? About having a contingency plan?

Nash: Tiff.

Dean: [brightens] Oh, yeah, Tiff! She gives good... fic. How's she doing?

Nash: [picks up phone, opens messages] Ah, yes - well, she's curious as to why, when the Michael possession kicked in, you didn't crank off a line dance while Vincent Price cackled in the background.

Dean: [sneery] I know what you're doing. You're trying to make me fight so you'll disappear before you can help me.

Nash: [undeterred] Oh, right. Not that Michael. Our mistake. The Otter Pop weaksauce eyefuck action should've given it away.

Dean: [steamy as that latte once was] I. Don't. Give. Weak. Eyefuck.

At this, a surprisingly low-volume yet vitriolic verbal match of wits and sometimes not-so-much with the wits occurs, of such proportion and length, our story now arrives at the point of closing time - the coffee shop has cleared, tables are bussed, the floor is being swept, lights are being turned off, and our foes remain in flagrante--- er, in fight mode.

Nash: ....and Shakespeare said "eat me"? Eat me?! Shakespeare has so many zingers. And you whiffed.

Dean: I was under pressure, specifically in the throat area, and what, you've got all of Shakespeare memorized!?

Nash: No! No, I don't! But EAT ME?! What about, "As Shakespeare once said, sit and spin"? Got some alliteration, rolls off the tongue, might be a touch spitty, but you were sputtering anyway, and.... why are you looking at me like that?

Dean: You haven't disappeared. We've been going at it for an hour, and you're still here.

Nash: [stunned] Shit.

Dean: Just stay, for the rest of the summer, please? So you can write me out of whatever crap I get pulled into? I'm good at plenty, I guess I'm just not good at this. I'm asking for help, and I'm not good at that either, so... will you think about it?

Nash: [glances around; W'Hye-Enne and her victim are nowhere to be seen, likely in the back room banging; looks to Dean] This part's not fic.

Dean: No, it's not. Because otherwise I'd suddenly need your help for shit I'm perfect at, right? I'm being serious, here.

Nash: What if... what if the documentaries pick up again, before the fall, and Tiff can't figure how to... what if it somehow traps me for good?

Dean: I won't let it.

Nash: [flatly] Don't do that. Don't with the charming. It's wasted on me.

Dean: Sure it is.

Nash: We are not friends. This is strictly business. Really. I want money. I want as much money as possible. Or stuff, I'll take stuff.

Dean: Absolutely. Hey, I'll take you to Michael's... I mean, my... costumer - I MEAN - tailor. You like vintage ----

Nash: Dean, on god, if you don't get the hell away from my personal blog ----

Dean: ----and you'd look awesome in... hmmmm... I think a '50s get-up. Something Marilyn or Liz. You've got the rack for it. [stops speaking at this potentially ill-advised comment, banking on Nash's love for compliments overtaking her love of punching him; gives her a pointed look, touch of an eyebrow raise as prompt]

Nash: I suppose that's a do-able thing, and you are a tit connoisseur so I am taking that as a compliment.... [trails off, eyes narrowing, as cooperation with nemesis is never easy]

Dean: Aaaaand people usually do what in response to those? [raises eyebrows all the way this time, eyes sparkly and crinkly and distracting on many subtle and not-so-subtle levels]

Nash: ....

Dean: ....

Nash: [mutters] It's a great hat.

Dean: I LOOK SO GOOD IN HATS

~ Fin ~

See Nash Write : Master  /  See Nash Write : Mobile

🏷️🏷️Wanna be tagged? Hit me up! 🏷️🏷️

1st Author’s Note Disclaimer (said with much lurve): There are myriad ways this is similar to many fics, possibly by Y/N; *if* these satirical pieces hit too close to home, consider this free writing therapy & an invitation to check your ego whilst finding a sense of humor. 😁 I’m pretty sure I’ve lost three-to-four followers over these things in the past, hence my semi-bitchy tone here. So, hey - go have a run at my stuff if it’ll make you feel better. I can handle it.

Author’s Note #2: Back to non-comedy fare shortly, like I say, just cleaning out ye olde drafts, hope you got a giggle.

Author’s Note #3: Many thanks to my guest star & would-be rescuer @butiaintgonnaloveem  

@impandagrl    @waywardjoy  @jalove-wecallhimdean  @jame-sbarnes  @just-another-busy-fangirl  @amanda-teaches  @fanforfanatic  @salt-n-burn-em-all  @thisgingerlikescoffee @cyrilconnelly  @rozadolphin  @theblackharrystyles   @carryonmycobaltangel @ilsawasanacrobat  @klaineaholic  @helvonasche   @zepppie  @amionthetumbler @tankcupcakes  @littlegreenplasticsoldier  @emlostinwonderland  @michellethetvaddict  @theoriginalvicki  @ellen-reincarnated1967  @copperseraphim  @mrswhozeewhatsis  @crowleylovesyou  @bumbleball13  @anticipate1003  @raspberrymama  @lastactiontricia  

[pandoraspocksao3]

What Are You Reading This Week - 4/23/18

Some of my favorites updated this week, and I thought I’d mention as well as  posting new fics. I’m behind on so many, but I’ll get there! Add yours if you reblog and let me know what YOU are reading!

So without delay...

Your Mood: You just watched Emma Watson twirl across the dance floor on Netflix with the guy that played Matthew on Downton Abbey (still not over season 3, but bygones) and you want a little of that kind of romance: 

Pandora’s Picks has you covered with:

Across the Stars by @nite0wl29 updated. with Ch 12. - A Star Wars Universe, Angst with a Happy Ending with a sort of “Beauty and the Beast” theme woven in. 

Your Mood: You’re high maintenance, dammit, and by God you want a good Reylo story AND a strong Luke Skywalker who didn’t hold a saber near his adolescent nephew in a “lapse of  judgment” (WTF, Rian, really). 

Well...not many fics are gonna cater to you, but since I happen to feel this pissy at times MYSELF...Pandora has you covered. You are in search of:

Strategic Alliances by Wissixwe and Skywalkers (sequel that can be read as a standalone with a little catch-up via the author, @thereisnocureforthis. This deals with concepts that might blow your mind a bit or make you geek out if are a former Trekkie and love stuff like “folding space” and world building. Irno the Kourin was my favorite OC in Skywalkers and Dar Noah got Leia’s groove back in Strategic Alliance AND Skywalkers (more power to him - although he is a Sith, but a nice one). AND Luke FINALLY has a love interest in Skywalkers AND he’s playing his part as a hero, not as a grump old man. This was the Luke I wanted to see. Author is a ....physicist? Nasa engineer? Something like that, because she takes her plot and details seriously, and I’ve had to ask questions at times as she writes at a level far above my head sometimes. Intellectuals, this one is for you!

I also started A Certain Point of View by Wissixwe @thereisnocureforthis recently which is her first post The Last Jedi fic. It’s still early to know where this is headed, but I love the Leia/Ben/Rey interaction! Definitely worth bookmarking. The author has a beautiful and lyrical writing style and I’ve been following her since early 2016 when I joined!

Your mood: Possible tipsy, because you’re seeing DOUBLE! PP knows why: you are probably reading:

Across Alternate Universes updated by @intp-slytherin97 which is the one with two different Ben Solos/Kylo Rens in alternative universes that switch places. Damn do I wish I was on a desert island right now and could binge this. SOON.

Alone in Space by @mrsvioletwrites is a new one I just started. It’s five chapters completed, obviously a WIP, but it’s set in the Prohibition era and I just LOVE it so far! Snoke is a female character! Fiona O’Snoke was the leader of the bootleggers but got herself killed. Kylo the Killer is the bootlegger who now runs things with Hux and Phaedra (Phasma) as his helpers. Rey and Poe are the two detectives trying to solve the case of why young women are dying from methanol poisoning, and Kylo is investigating why his product is doing that as well. Meanwhile, Rey dresses in a slinky flapper outfit trying to draw out Kylo the Killer. And it’s working...

Your mood: You are pressed for time and can’t take on even a 10 page fic, but you need a good post TLJ one-shot. Pandora’s Picks recommends:

 Connected in the Deep by @juuls

A moody, sensual one-shot exploring the Force Bond! One of my favorite writers due to her writing style. This little gem hasn’t had many readers finding for some reason. I loved it!

You’re in the mood for a bit of romance, a bit of soul, maybe a touch of poetry. Pandora’s Picks definitely recommends:

Songs of Innocence, Songs of Wisdom by @cosmo-gonika. 

I’ve got to beta a few chapters, so I’m really steeped in this story which has a great plot, great descriptions, and some steamy sex scenes! There’s also a female rival for Ren’s affections, or it would APPEAR to be going that way - meet Vrieska, Knight of Ren and original character by the author. Watch that little minx!

Your Mood: PISSED because there’s nothing M/M on here!

Relax, boys. I’m a gay ally and Pandora has you covered! Check out:

Poe/Hux Afterstory Tales by  @gamebird

 BONUS - it’s COMPLETE! You have 22 chapters to binge!

This picks up after Pacification, where Hux and Poe sparked an unlikely relationship, earned one another's trust, and became engaged. In this, they get to know one another better as Hux continues to soften and learn how to be more of a human being. This is not a stand-alone and I would suggest reading Grey and Complicated, Orderly Lives, and Pacification first. 

Your Mood: Fuck. This. Day!  I need to punch something or...

Hey. Slow down, buddy. Pandora’s Picks suggests you quit punching your pillow and let’s get some of that passion redirected to...well, PASSION! I have the erotic interrogation story to end your night ona “happy” note!

“He’d Let Her” by @lucidlucy (I’m like the LAST person to discover this author, but what a treat to finally read these works!) Where’s Rey? She’s his guest! But then of course she escapes and Snoke wants him to find her yada yada and they explore the Force Bond and then Kylo is with her and...well, just read it! It’s the first part of a series, though. Not a one-shot, but I’m enjoying the ride! 

That’s all for now. If you’re reading more than hat, you’re not sleeping enough, studying enough, or working enough! Anyway, it’s Monday and way past my bedtime. Hope that gives you enough new/old stuff to chew on until I get caught up and can add some more! Please reblog and give these authors some kudos and comments....or reblog so others can do so! Some of these stories have a following, but a lot do not, which is a pity as they are SO good! *If you feel I left off a good story or you know of some yourself, feel free to make your own list and use this format if it helps! My blog is for talking about and discovering new stories, in addition to things that make me laugh or are Star Wars related. I’m using the hashtag “pandora’s picks” or “Pandora Pick” so I can find these posts now....so many I’ve blogged are buried now! 

Happy reading!

~Pandora

[bring-me-bellarke]

The 100 Ask

Tagged by @griffinnblake ! Thanks, Lindsay! Honestly, what a blast this was.

rules: answer as many as you want if tagged and then tag three more people OR just reblog it and treat it as a regular ask meme!! have fun xoxo

1. What would you get arrested for on the Ark?  Probably for punching a guard or something, tbh. Maybe starting underground resistance (yikes)

2. Would you take off your wristband when you landed on the ground?  Maybe. 

3. What would the necklace Finn would make for you look like? (Clarke: deer/Raven: a raven duh..)  Probably a fist or some sort of cool resist sign. 

4. If you could resurrect any MINOR character who would it be?  WELLS JAHA DESERVED BETTER. (close second would be Anya) (close third would be Ilian)

5. Create a squad of 5 characters to go on missions with. Who are they? Bellamy, Clarke, Raven, Monty, Miller.

6. Minty or Briller?  Mintyyyyyy all da way. Briller just never did anything for me. 

7. What would your name be in Trigedasleng? (example: Octavia=Okteivia…just make it up!)  Jessei, Jessai, i have no idea. 

8. Thoughts on Finn? I’ll be honest, I was blind when I first started watching and thought Finn was a good guy...until Raven showed up and was like WTF ....and then he massacred a bunch of people. Then I looked back and realized how manipulative he was with Clarke, and what a shitty person he was in general.

9. Be honest. How willing would you have been to take the chip without knowing all the horrible things it does? I don’t think I would have. It wouldn’t really appeal to me. I could see myself giving in if someone I loved was threatened (like Clarke with Abby, I would’ve folded like a lawn chair)  

10. What character do you relate to most & What character do you like the least not including the obvious ones like Pike, etc… I relate to Clarke and Raven the most. I’m bossy and serious like Clarke, but also sassy and passionate like Raven. The character I like the least was (don’t bring out the pitchforks) L/xa. To me, from day 1, she was too bland of a character. It’s like she was always putting on this brave facade that I just never bought into. But I truly love ADC and she’s awesome. I just didn’t believe all of L/xa’s dumb philosophies and thought she wasn’t a good leader. Also, Octavia was on my most hated from the moment she laid her hands on her brother (i will never be over that. bitter 2kforever)

11. Describe your delinquent outfit. (Would you wear something like Murphy’s jacket with the spikey red shoulder patch or have a trademark like Jasper’s goggles? Be creative, yet practical)  I probably would have had a patchy black leather jacket, gray t shirt that read Space Sucks, combat boots, black ripped up jeans, and the jacket would’ve had RESIST stitched onto the back in big letters (or maybe a patch). I like to think I would’ve been a total badass but who knows. 

12. Favorite type of mutant animal?  I don’t think we saw many besides two-headed deer, pauna, and maybe some panthers? Oh, wait! Glowing butterflies, those were cool.   

13. What would your job be on the Ark? Oooooh, I don’t know. Sounds weird, but I would’ve liked to work in the archives/library, making sure all the history was preserved (sounds like a Bellamy thing, I know). But tbh, I probably would be jailed for starting a resistance as a side gig. 

14. Would you have willingly pumped Ontari’s heart if Abby asked?  I’m squeamish, but I would’ve done it to save Clarke (and everyone else in turn). 

15. If Lexa wasn’t Heda, then who would make the best commander?  Hmm, good question. Well I loved Anya and think she could’ve. I think Luna might’ve if she’d given up her weird ways and NOT BEEN TOTALLY RUINED in s4. ALSO LINCOLN (RIP IM NOT OVER IT). If all 3 could’ve led as like a council, that’d be fire. 

16. If you were a grounder, then where would you live and who would be your mentor? Oh god, I don’t know the tribes. Maybe Trishanakru (sp?) just cause Ilian’s such a hottie and it would’ve been cool to be friends. 

17. How would you act if you ate the hallucinogenic nuts like Jasper and Monty?  I’d probably dare everyone to go jump off a waterfall with me (but like a small one)

18. How would you have dealt with Charlotte’s crime? A more John Murphy approach or Bellamy Blake?  Uggggghhhh, this is hard. Listen, neither method worked. Charlotte wouldn’t have survived on her own and Murphy’s dumb. Maybe like a jail or something they could’ve kept her in? Idk, there’s too many things that went wrong with all that. 

19. Who should be the Chancellor, if anyone?  Anyone at all? Crap, I don’t think there should just be one, it’s too much power. I like the idea of council/committee with the mains like Bellamy, Clarke, Kane, Abby, uhh idk who else. 

20. Mount Weather had a lot of modern commodities. (example: Maya’s Ipod) What is the one thing you would snatch while there?  Headphones to escape all the drama, probably. Maybe some good hiking gear because goddammit how do they all travel through all these jungles/woods? 

21. Do you think you’d have caught the virus spread through camp or would you have been immune like Octavia?  I would’ve caught it probs. 

22. What would your grounder tattoos look like? Hairstyle? War paint? I’d have just cool geo shape tattoos probably. I’d wear a high pony because how do the girls deal with humidity/sweat wearing it down???? My hair is hella thick, so no thanks. War paint would probably just be a few lines on my cheeks, maybe diagonals. 

23. Favorite quote?  I CAN’T JUST CHOOSE ONE. OH GOD MY HEART LITERALLY HURTS AT ALL THE ONES I LOVE. (this deserves its own post tbh)

24. Can you forgive Murphy for his actions? How about Bellamy?  Murphy’s a real pain in my side. Full offense, I hate that we move on so easily from a white boy’s VERY SIGNIFICANT MISTAKES, yet poor POC Bellamy has to keep suffering from the repercussions. Like Murphy LITERALLY permanently damaged Raven’s body yet they’re cool now? Idk, I hold grudges, and I don’t think I’d be able to let it go. Kudos to Raven, ig. Though I won’t hesitate to admit that Bellamy has royally fucked up too, from the radio to the army (which happened in a season I hate altogether). It just seems like we forgive Murphy much easier than Bellamy and it kills me. Whooo, sorry for that. 

25. If one of the characters was in the Hunger Games, who would have the best shot at winning? Hmm, I was gonna say Bellamy but he’s a real softie. Clarke is sneaky and sometimes heartless, so maybe her. BUT ACTUALLY Octavia would because she’s absolutely bat-shit crazy.

26. Least favorite ship? Favorite ship? NOT INCLUDING CLEXA OR BELLARKE  Aww crap. I didn’t like Flarke. Fave ship (that never happened) was Ice Mechanic, like imagine the chemistry/hotness. Ugh, still upset about this. Fave canon would be Kabby, I guess? They’re great, but it’s weird to think Kane had Abby tortured. Idk (Y’all know I’m ride or die Bellarke). I was conflicted for a long time about Linctavia because I loved them but when you boil it down, he was way older than her and it seemed kinda Stockholm Syndrome-y? Plus, she turns psycho and he would’ve hated it. IDK ALL SHIPS ARE PROBLEMATIC DAMMIT.

27. A song that should be included in the next season, like when Radioactive was? If there had to be another guest star like Shawn Mendes on the show, who would you want to make a cameo?  Lindsay said Home II by Dotan and I 100% agree because that song is amazing and would work so well for S5. Oooh, cameos! Um CAN YOU IMAGINE IF STEPHEN KING JUST SHOWED UP OUT OF THE BLUE? Like I would die. Or Kass Morgan, the original creator! 

28. What would you do if you were stuck in the bunker with Murphy for all that time?  Honestly, I’d probably be very annoyed and want to be far away from him. BUT if we did warm up to each other, I think we’d bond over cooking (if there was any food). 

29.Opinion on Emori? Roan?  Both badasses. Kinda indifferent on them actually. Like I don’t love or hate them. 

30. Would you want to be an extra that is killed off in a brutal way?  Yeah, sure. It’d be cool if it was memorable, poignant, and really related to/impacted the storyline. High hopes, amirite? 

31. A character you’d like to learn more about and get flashbacks of? Raven, I think. All her flashbacks were related to Finn and I hated it. WHO WAS SHE BESIDES FINN’S GIRLFRIEND? Show us her mess of a mom, how her love for science started, how she became a mechanic! God, there’s so much we don’t know. 

32. A character you’d bang?  BELLAMY FUCKING BLAKE, ladies and gents.

If you made it through all this, bless your soul! BUT THIS WAS SO MUCH FUN!! I loved having to really think about the hypotheticals and what I’d do if I was in this world/show. Side note, I’ve been totally gone from this blog and not even tagging my stuff (which is where I freak out the most). I’m slowly coming back and hope April comes soon! All right, this has been long enough. I tag @littlebellarkemix & @southsideserpentine & honestly anyone who wants to (it’s a lot of fun).