#the thing is I actually usually don’t get into musicals by soundtracks

[kquil]

JAMES POTTER | JOINT SCHEDULE

request. : Hey can you do some more ice hockey player James imagines? I love them sm! —@prongsbandit

sum. : you booked the university's ice rink to practice your routine for an upcoming competition but so did the university's ice hockey team, whose captain screwed up the timings

g. : fluff ; modern au ; ice hockey player james ; figure skater reader ; shy reader ; university au ; jock james potter ; supportive figure skating coach ; supportive hockey team

length : 1.6k

In preparation for an upcoming figure skating competition, you were dedicated to getting in as much practice as possible. Thankfully, you were able to book the university ice rink for two months in the lead up to the competition. Your regular practice sessions were every Monday, Wednesday and Thursday for five in the late afternoon until seven. It was a bit excessive but you wanted to win. Many of your friends view you as someone sweet and docile but also hard working and quite the perfectionist. What they don’t realise is how competitive you can be behind the scenes. Everytime you cancel plans, you usually excuse yourself with the ‘I’m busy’ reasoning that your close friends readily accept, believing that you were working through papers and research articles for uni classes when, in actuality, you were spending time in the rink. 

Today, you had brought with you your portable stereo to go through the routine with the music over and over again, gradually perfecting the appearance of your more grandiose moves as well as the sequence of your steps on the ice. It felt good being at this stage of your development, the entirety of your routine has been choreographed already and had been revised by your coach, who suggested some minor changes but approved it overall — you knew what you were doing, it was just the case of perfecting things now, something you were talented at and even enjoyed. 

The main focus for today’s session was the polishing of the big jumps and ambitious spins of your routine. It was a little tiresome and you don’t believe you’d be able to cover all of them for this session but you never really expected to in the first place. Your only saving grace was that you had some time to apply light makeup earlier in celebration for the new figure skating set you were gifted by your parents. It was an all black set that paired a sleek skort with a long sleeved turtle neck top that had lacing to decorate the open back and thumb holes in the sleeves as the hem reached half way up your palms. You liked feeling pretty in practices, it always helped to encourage your self-confidence so there was always a little spike in your performance. The praises of your supervising coach was all you needed to confirm this fact. 

“Brilliant, my girl! Again!” Vera sang her high praises from the stands and helped you control the music whenever you wanted to repeat a particular part of the choreo. For this routine, you had settled for something more elegant and based the choreography around the ‘Waltz of the Flowers’ by Tchaikovsky. The soundtrack made you miss the time you did ballet until you were fifteen before eventually falling in love with figure skating. A lot of your routines tend to be based around the elegance of ballet in addition to the complicated turns, spins and jumps that encompassed figure skating; your coach, Vera, loved how you were able to combine both sports in such a seamless way. 

The music kept playing even after you had repeated the skid spiral so you naturally flowed into rehearsing more of your choreo, allowing muscle memory and the music to guide you over the ice as you subconsciously waited for Vera to pause the music and ask you to repeat something that didn’t look quite right. Polishing up the routine was filled with more critiques than any stage of creating your final performance so your anticipation for Vera to pause the music, repeat a move and provide additional tips lingered in the back of your mind as you flawlessly spiralled into one of your most difficult spins — a one-handed beillman. 

“Beautiful Beautiful!” Vera praised, clapping as you gradually spun out of the position before abandoning the routine and grinning widely to yourself, proud and giddy for finally nailing the transition and spin. 

“Vera!” you shout across the ice and over the music, cheering with your fists raised to the air in victory, “I did it!” It was then when you realised that Vera’s clapping was accompanied with an entire audience of applause and your panicked eyes fell upon a grinning hockey player standing beside your coach, behind them was a team of hockey players, some whistling and whooping in between their applause. 

As you tried to catch your breath and suppress your bashfulness, you gathered that Vera had neglected to reply to the soundtrack to discuss something with the hockey player, and so, it seems that the entire hockey team just saw a glimpse of your routine. Eventually, Vera paused the music and motioned you over, looking to discuss something. 

“Wh-what’s wrong?” you ask upon reaching the sidelines, fiddling with the hem of your sleeves as you avoided the hockey player’s eyes. He was dressed in most of his equipment, only missing his headgear, and was sporting the dopiest grin on his face. “It appears as though the university hockey team had booked the rink to practise for a match happening early next week, however, there was some miscommunication over the timings and schedules,” you furrow your brows as Vera explains the situation before shyly glancing up at the hockey player beside her, who had unruly dark curls and glimmering hazel eyes behind a pair of cute glasses. It seems your simple acknowledgement of him was enough to prompt his self introduction. 

“I’m James,” he reaches out his gloved hand for you to shake, quickly taking it back to rip of his glove off before reaching to shake your hand once again, “James Potter, Captain of the Hockey team,” behind him the rest of the hockey players wave at you, some with friendly grins and others sporting a mischievous smirk as they regard their captain’s behaviour around you, “Vera explained that you were practising for a competition and also booked the rink in advance but since you got here early, we’ll put the decision to you,”

You raised a brow and tilted your head slightly, prompting him to continue, “make a decision on what?”

“On whether to kick us out and continue your practice or finish your practice early and allow us to have the rink for drills exercises and plays,” James finished, grinning at you with no malice and insinuating that he wouldn’t hold any ill-will over either outcome. 

“Oh!” your cheeks heat up under his warm voice, amiable manner, pretty eyes and charming dimples and you couldn’t help but stare for a moment before eventually shaking your head and giving him your resolve, “I’d be happy to give you the rink, I’ve covered a lot of ground already so I don’t mind,” James’s smile reaches his eyes once more and he nods. 

“You heard the lady boys, what do we say?” he shouts back to his team, his voice commanding attention and is as firm as his build, encouraging an ensemble of ‘thank you’s to sound from behind him, “Thank you very much,” James finishes and nods to his boys, signalling them to set up the rink and get ready for practice while you also take the time to shake off your nerves and walk off the ice, where James greets you once more.

“I hope you have a good and productive practice,” you wish him and offer a warm smile, your heart finally settled down to a semi-heightened beat. He’s really quite handsome…you think to yourself but quickly look away to, again, keep from staring too long. 

“Thank you and thanks again for letting us have the rink,” James takes your hand and lifts your knuckles to his lips — an act of gratitude that has a dangerous heat creeping up your neck to occupy your cheeks once more, “you’re very beautiful on the ice, by the way. I’m sure you’ll smash it at the competition, your competitors don’t stand a chance,” the two of you share pleasantries and more smiles before you finally make your way to the locker rooms to change with a straighter back and a lighter heart. 

What an encounter. 

“She practises every Monday, Wednesday and Thursday from 5 to 7pm,” Vera says out of nowhere as she approaches James, who stares off to where you had disappeared. 

“I’m sorry?” 

A stone cold look crosses over Vera’s face, “avoid those times at all costs,” she warns, her russian accent suddenly thick and intimidating, “my student doesn’t need any distractions,” the statement makes James raise a brow in question, “her competition is on the 14th November, held in the city community rink, and it starts at noon, don’t be late,”

Suffice to say, James wasn’t late to your competition, in fact,  he was early and he brought the entire hockey team with him to support you. You won second place but felt like a gold medalist when the hockey team hollered the loudest for you at the awarding ceremony and lifted you onto their shoulders with the congratulatory flowers James brought you in your arms and your silver medal around your neck.  To return the favour, you attended their next hockey game and made sure to shout the loudest whenever their team scored and eventually when their team won the match.

“When do you think our captain’s finally gonna grow some balls and ask out his ice skating ballerina?” Sirius whispers to his taller brunette friend.

“Let them take their time,” Remus replies, the two staring as James throws his arm over your shoulders and you wrap your own around the back of his waist, “everyone already thinks their dating anyway so they’ll get it eventually,”

“Wait! So they’re not actually dating yet?” Peter asks with a surprised face as the other two laugh, “But I swear I saw them kissing by the locker rooms before the game earlier!”

a/n : i know nothing about ice skating or ice hockey but i tried my best! i'm sorry if this is not very realistic. i also hope that the request was fulfilled to a satisfactory standard despite the long wait, i'm really sorry for that by the way (┳Д┳) nevertheless, i tried my best and i hope this made you happy, darling, thank you for the cute request (ɔˆ ³(ˆ⌣ˆc)

navi.

taglist : @ghostgardn @fredweasleysjumper @rosalyn-s @melinajenkins @astonishment @until-i-found-you @corp0real @sageskisses444 @celestcies @lovelydoveval @inlovewithremusjohnlupin @calums-betch @futurecorps3 @hihihi1112 @simpingforthe80s @yrluvjane @neeezza101 @chaosofmanyfandoms

[justmeinadaze]

I Have Nothing (If I Don't Have You) (Steddie X You)

A/N: Like I said last week, I was watching the music video for "Queen of the Night" by Whitney Houston from the soundtrack of this movie and it gave me this Steddie idea.

I have a few ideas I can take this! I seriously love protective Steddie. Probably something to do with my PTSD and need to feel safe lol Anyway... I hope you enjoy it! I dedicate this to @unfocused81 <3

Warnings: No smut (yet😈) but angst for sure. Security Steddie and Singer female reader. It is mentioned that Y/N does drink excessively and do drugs. Her boyfriend is a douchebag and assaults her (mentions of smacking and grabbing her, yelling at her, and calling her names) that results in Steddie intervening. There is also a bit of a riot at one of shows that they protect her from (kind of like that scene in the movie where people jump on stage and chaos ensues).

I wouldn't really call this dark themes but reader definitely has some things going on and is struggling a lot right now.

Work count: 5906

“What kind of security work have you guys done before?” 

Your manager leans against the outside of his desk as he continues to scan through the messages on his phone.

“Oh, um, we’ve done a lot before for the bar in our town and most recently a rock band in—”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah.”, the manager cuts Steve off as he speaks. “That’s all well and good. Look, I’m going to level with you. This is essentially expensive babysitting. Y/N is a handful. Our last security detail quit when her last party at her house caused a riot in the streets of LA.”

“A riot?”, Eddie turned to his friend and raised an eyebrow inquisitively. 

The guy sets his phone down, sighing with impatience. “Yes. Obviously, you two don’t read or watch the news…which is good. Saves me the headache. Now, do you want the job or not?”

Both boys glance at each other before looking towards the man again. “Um, yeah sure. I mean it pays, right?”

“That’s the spirit. Ok, she’s at the studio downstairs right now recording…or at least that’s what she’s supposed to be doing. Go introduce yourselves. Glad to have you aboard.”, he rolls his eyes as he shoos them out of his office.

“Steve are you sure about this?”, Eddie asks as they head for the elevator. 

“Yeah. Come on, Munson. This is our ticket to high-rate clients and more money! We can handle one little girl.”

As soon as they get off on the right floor, they are met with extremely loud music and giggles from the studio room. A tall, lanky kid leans back in his chair extending his hand to greet both boys. 

“Hey, are ya’ll the security? I’m Devon. She’s in there ‘getting inspired’.” Their eyes follow his finger as he points behind the glass where you and some of your friends were strewn around the floor. “Good luck, gentlemen.”, he sings. 

Both men carefully tip toe around arms and legs to find you with your eyes closed, a half smirk painted across your lips. 

“Uh, Miss Y/L/N? I’m Steve Harrington and this is Eddie Munson. We’re your new personal security guards.”

“Hmm…sounds sexy.”, you slur. Your glassy, drug fueled eyes look up to meet theirs. “At least Jack hired some good-looking ones this time. Who is who?”

“Maybe, if you stood up and actually greeted us, you would have heard who is who the first time.”, Eddie chided. 

Your eyes fully open as your head tilts in his direction. No one ever had the balls to scold you like that since you became famous. It was usually “Yes ma’am” this or “Anything you want, ma’am. We’ll make it happen.”. Rising to your feet, you fully take them in through your haze. 

They both were attractive especially with that air of confidence you hadn’t seen in a long time. Your current boyfriend was cocky but definitely not confident. Everyone else around you seemed so fucking timid and you hated it. 

“Eddie. Steve.”, Steve repeated, pointed to his friend then himself. 

He was dressed head to toe in what you would call “conventional” clothes; nothing designer or anything to make him stand out. You could tell under the button up white, short sleeve shirt that he did have muscles that could protect you physically if need be. The jeans and sneakers he donned didn’t give you any new information that could tell you something about him except he probably didn’t make a whole lot of money. 

Eddie was more or less the same with a much more grunge fashion sense that, to you, he pulled off well. You pointed to his Metallica t-shirt with your finger. 

“My music isn’t like theirs. It might make your ears bleed.”

“As long as I can still see you and see you’re safe, I think I’ll survive.”

He’s quick witted. I like that…

“Ok. We’ll give it a try. Tomorrow, you’ll meet me at my house and I can tell you more about what you’ll be doing.”

***

“Steven Harrington, have you read half this stuff?”, Eddie sighs as he leans forward and places his elbows on his knees as he points at things on his laptop.

“She’s been arrested twice; once for possession and another for disorderly conduct where she was found having sex with someone while she was drunk in public. The cops have been called to her house multiple times due to, honestly, take your fucking pick. Her boyfriend was arrested just last week for sucker punching one of her fans for ‘getting too close’. How are we supposed to protect someone who invites all this chaos into her life.”

“I don’t know, Ed. The same way you protect anyone I guess.”, Steve leans back on the couch as he takes a sip from his bottle of beer. “Again, this is just a steppingstone. I’m sure after a few months of handling her, any number of high value agencies will want to hire us. WHICH MEANS…”, he glances towards Eddie. “…you need to control your Dom voice.”

The metalhead chuckles as he leans back as well. “It’s going to be hard with a fucking brat like her. Dude, she didn’t even have the common courtesy to say hello.”

“I know… I know… but just, try. For me?”

#########

It takes you awhile to open the door when they knock but when you finally do, you look completely hung over. 

“Yeah, come…come in. Do you want something to drink? Jack? Vodka? I have them all.”

“It’s 10am.”, Steve responds as he looks at his watch. 

You raise an eyebrow at him before heading for the kitchen and grabbing the whole bottle of Jack Daniels. “If you’re boring, Eddie. Just say that.”

“Steve. I’m Steve.”

“Right now, I don’t care—”

“We can tell.”, Eddie growls.

You blink as you look up at him. You’ve never wanted to toy with a man so bad in your life. He wasn’t even trying to hide that your disrespect was bothering him and honestly you couldn’t get enough. 

“I’m sorry, gentlemen. I don’t do mornings. Unfortunately, my manager insists on scheduling interviews for me that require me to up at this ungodly hour.” They watch you as you slump onto the couch and throw your arm over your eyes. “So, how much did Jack tell you?”

“Uh, just the basics. We watch out for you.”

“Good. It’s just following me around and making sure I don’t get swarmed or murdered. I’ll give you guys a key to my house before you leave today and when I stay at hotels I’ll do the same. You’ll most likely be staying in the same room as me anyway so…”

The sound of banging on your front door makes you cringe. “I guess I’ll get it.”, Eddie sighs as Steve’s eyes follow him. “Your makeup people are here, your highness.”

A big grin spreads across your face as you turn your head to look over at them. “I like him. Steven, you need to start stepping it up or he’ll become my favorite.”

The metalhead lazily glances towards his friend with playful wide eyes. “Well, lucky me.”

***

As snotty as your attitude was, they couldn’t deny how beautiful you were especially after your prep team was done putting you together. The makeup hid all damage you had done to yourself the night before and the outfit they had you in sexily showed off all your curves. Your eyes shifted to them, watching them as they looked around.

“No one is going to shoot me in here, boys.”

“Hm. You never know.”, Eddie exhales as he points to things. “Someone could come in through that back door behind you or because no one checks any of these people’s IDs, someone could sneak in pretending to be a hair stylist and take you out like that.”, he snaps his fingers. 

“Bags that hold all the beauty and camera equipment are big enough to hold even a rifle let alone a handgun. That’s implying someone would want to shoot you instead of stabbing or blowing you up.”, Steve followed. 

“Wow. Just charming.”

“It’s our job, Miss Y/L/N.”

“I think due to the circumstances you can call me Y/N.”, you grin. 

The producer gets your attention, walking you through the questions that would be asked and how the interview would go. The boys watched you in amazement as your personality practically changed when the camera went live. No one would ever be able to tell what you did behind the scenes or any other narrative then the one you provided. 

An hour later and after many questions, the interview ended and your face fell. 

“God, I need a drink.”

“Can we at least go over the tour first?”, your manager whined. 

“Baby!”

You excitedly got up and ran to your boyfriend’s arms. “Simon!”

Everyone in the room cringed at the heavy smacking sounds that left you two as he continued to sloppily kiss your lips. 

“Who are the new guys?”

“Babe, these are the new security guys. This is Eddie and Steve.”

They stand up to shake his hand but as Steve extends his palm the man looks down at it like the gesture was beneath him. “Yeah, listen boys, hands off, okay? She’s mine.”, you giggle as he slaps your ass.

“Come on, baby. I got a surprise for you.” You squeal as he lifts you over his shoulder and carries you towards your bedroom. 

“Y/N! We still have things to go over!”, Jack shouts as the door closes loudly. 

#########

“I want to go home, Steven. It’s 2am and they’ve been fucking in there all god damn day. At this point we shouldn’t have a client anymore because he killed her by not giving her any food or fucking water. It definitely won’t be due to her climaxing because I haven’t heard that happen yet.”

“We can’t leave until he does.”, Steve sighs. “Or she dismisses us for the evening.”

As if on cue, Simon saunters past them into the kitchen, casually opening your fridge, and begins chugging from a jug of orange juice. “Um, I’m pretty sure you two can leave. She’s not even here.”

“What?!”

“Yeah, I’m assuming she climbed out the window after I crashed. She does that to escape the security teams. It’s kind of a rite of passage honestly.”

“Where would she go?”, Eddie growls. 

“Um, there’s a bar about a mile up the road. She likes to walk there for some reason.”

***

“So, pretty lady. Do you want to come back to my place tonight?”

“Ugh, no. Get off me. I just want to drink in peace.”

“Oh, come on, honey.”, the man slurred. 

“Hey! The lady said no.”, Steve’s voice echoed through the bar as he starred the man down. “Leave. Now.”

The patron held up his hands defensively, staggering back towards his table. 

“Come on, Y/N. Time for you to go home.”, Eddie motioned for the bartender to stop serving you as the other boy reached into your purse to pay him. 

“You’re my security. Not my fucking dad. I can stay here and drink if I want.”

“You’re at a bar in a nightie, shorts, and flip flops at 2 in the morning. It’s a safety concern.”

“Oh shit.”, you giggle. “I am in my nightie.” Steve roughly grips your arm and tugs you out the door towards his car. “Let me go, you fucking dick.”

A switch flips in the man’s brain; he can’t help it. For the past couple of days, he’s tolerated your disrespect but like Eddie, he hated it. They both could handle a lot but you were pushing them too far. Still holding onto your wrist, he twirls you towards the vehicle till your back hits the door. 

“Now, listen here because I’m only going to say this once. We’ve handled the tone and the blatant disregard for what we do but it ends now. Our job is to keep you safe not fucking babysit some spoiled, rich washed-up singer. This is the last time you pull a stunt like this; do you understand me?” 

Steve’s body was so close to yours you could feel his angry breath fanning your face. It had been ages since someone put you in your place like this and you’d be lying if you didn’t say you were a bit turned on. A new feeling washed over you though as your eyes scanned his face. For the first time since you entered this industry, you actually felt safe. 

They weren’t afraid to be blunt with you which compared to everyone else in your life was a nice reprieve. You knew 90% of the people in your life, given the chance, would sell you out in a heartbeat but would still stand there and tell you how perfect you were. 

“Yes.”

“Yes, what?” Eddie’s voice startled you, completely unaware he was standing beside you with his hands in his pockets, glaring down at you with those same angry eyes. 

“Yes, I understand.”

“Good. Now get in the car.” 

#############

That following morning, they half expected to be fired but were surprised when you opened the front door as soon as they knocked. 

“We have to go to the studio first and then I have to get ready for the gig tonight.”, you mumbled as you swished around them, trying to get in the backseat of his car to no avail. “Can you open the door…please?”

Eddie caught it in your tone first…something wasn’t right and it had nothing to do with them. 

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine. Can we just…”, you gesture towards the car.

“HEY! When you get back tonight make sure it’s with a better fucking attitude!”, Simon yells from your front door. 

“Well maybe I won’t come back, you free loading mama’s boy!”

“Stupid bitch should learn how to talk to a man.”, he muttered under his breath as he slammed the door shut.

Steve and Eddie exchange a look before the metalhead speaks to you. “Is that something we need to handle?”

“No. He’s just being a fucking prick.”

He opens your door and you slowly slide in before both men do the same. As the car begins to move, Steve keeps checking on you in his rearview mirror. Your sunglass covered eyes remain focused on the window as you stare out into the California streets. 

“I’m sorry about yesterday. About leaving and keeping you guys out late when you didn’t have to. Simon just pissed me off and…”

“Does he talk to you like that often?”

“No. Sometimes he’s an asshole.” You flash them a sassy smirk that grows when you see Eddie try and hide his own at your sarcasm. “He’s just…hot headed, you know? He’s been through a lot.”

“And you haven’t?”

Your eyes swivel to Steve before glancing down at your hands. “Nothing I can’t handle.”

“He shouldn’t be talking to you like that, Y/N.”

“Yeah, well, neither should I so…”

“Just because you have an attitude doesn’t mean you deserve to be treated like trash. Maybe you just need someone stronger who can handle it and not take it personally.”

“Oh? And who would that be, Steve? You?”

“Aw, Munson, that’s cute. She thinks we can’t handle her.”

“Y/N, sweetheart, we’ve dealt with worse than you.”, he smiles as he turns around in his seat. “It’s you that can’t handle us. Thankfully though we aren’t in a relationship so we’ll never get to find out.”

“I never say never, gentlemen.”

****

After going over the tour dates, everything you would be doing, and everything you need, your next stop was the venue you would be performing at tonight. 

Eddie cringed as the feedback of the mic echoed around the building.

“Hey! Try plugging it into the correct port!” The young man shrugged his shoulders causing the metalhead to go over and show the boy what he was doing wrong.

“Let me guess? Rock and Roll drummer in a Metallica cover band?”, you grin at him as the mic starts picking up your voice perfectly. 

“Guitarist and our own band, not a cover band.”

“What about you, Steve? Are you musically inclined?”

“Unfortunately, no.”

“What are you good at?”

“Babysitting.”, he raised his eyebrow in your direction making your smile grow. 

As the additional security from the venue finally arrived, you watched with fascination as the guys took on a more authoritative tone, telling each person where they would need to be. Time slowly dwindled till it was about twenty minutes before the show. You began pacing as you shook out your preshow jitters.

“Hey, they say they are ready for you to head towards the stage.”

You jumped at the sound of Steve’s voice. “Goddamn it! Okay, fucking thank you!” His eyes narrowed in your direction as he came in and closed the door behind him. “Can I help you with anything else?!”

“Are you alright?”

“Jesus fucking Christ, you’re not my father, Steven, or my friend. Get the fuck out! I’ll be right out!”

The boy bites his bottom lip as he nods his head. “Yes ma’am.” As he starts to open the door, he pauses turning to face you again. “You look really beautiful, by the way. Your voice is amazing. Eddie and I have actually never heard any of your songs before today. This will be our first concert. I’m excited to see it.” 

Your wide, glassy eyes turn to look at him as he slowly begins to close the door again. 

“Steve! Thank you…”

##########

That night you gave it your all and then some. Occasionally, you would glance down at the bottom of the stage watching as Steve and Eddie’s demeanor remained focused on the task at hand. Sometimes, however, you would notice a foot tap to the beat or a head would bob to your lyrics. If this was the first time they were attending a Y/N concert, you wanted them to enjoy it and show them what you bring to the entertainment table. 

So many people when you were starting out told you that you would never make it. That your dream of becoming a singer was a pipe dream for people with “actual talent”. Since day one you always felt like you had to prove yourself, hell, even before you started singing. In your house growing up you felt like you had to fight to be seen. 

Once you crossed that threshold, everything came easier but you never stopped fighting. Fighting the fear of being nothing again, the knowledge that everyone in your circle just wanted a piece of you and what you earned. Fighting to keep everyone happy including yourself. The alcohol and drugs helped immensely or at least that’s what you believed. You thought it helped numb your brain and the pain so you could just get through every day. 

When Eddie sassed you in the studio, you knew he was different. For a while you couldn’t get a read on Steve until that night outside of the bar. The fact that neither of them had asked you to hear their demo tape or hit on you was already a point in their favor but they genuinely seemed to want to protect you so you wanted to return the favor in some way, your voice.

When the concert ended, they snuck a peak at you. Eddie was never a fan of the type of music you sang but he couldn’t deny that what you did sing went straight to his heart. Steve noticed that while you sang, it was like you transported to a different place. You seemed calmer and more in tune with yourself, making you seem more confident than when you weren’t. 

This was the first time since they met you that you genuinely seemed happy. 

Something in the atmosphere changed. Maybe it was too many booze served at the bar or just the energy of the evening but people in the crowd started chanting for an encore. You were exhausted having gone longer on your set then you were supposed to already. You gave the crowd your best smile, thanking them for coming out, and telling them how much you loved their support. 

A fan jumped on to the stage and Eddie was quick to pull him back down. Panic set in as you watched the crowd start to fight with each other and the security team jump into action. The metalhead was in front of you and you hastily gripped his arm as he scanned the area trying to find Steve. 

“Harrington?!”

After tapping his shoulder, you pointed to the corner near a wall where you saw the boy in a fist fight of his own. Eddie pushed you towards the side of the stage behind a curtain.

“Don’t move! I’ll be right back, ok?!”, he shouted over the chaos as you gave him a firm nod. 

You watched as he jumped off the platform, running to pull the man off his friend and shoving him to where you were hiding. Steve didn’t even hesitate as he lifted you into his arms and they both ran down the hallway. They didn’t stop until they reached their car and placed you in the back seat, him climbing in with you as Eddie sped away. 

“Wait…what about Jack…and everyone else?”

“No. We have to get you out and away from the building especially during a scene like that.” Steve searched through his jacket pocket for a tissue, placing it against his nose when he finally finds one. 

“Are-are you okay?”

“Yeah. Fucking asshole got me good.”

About a mile down the road, Eddie parked the car into a gas station and got out to check you both over. “What happened, Harrington? Let someone get the best of you?”, Eddie chuckled. 

“Dude, they cornered me so fast especially after I pulled him off of the venue’s security guy.”

“Did I do that? Did I do something wrong?” Their head swivel around to look at your frightened frame. “Th-that’s never happened before…I-I-I…”

“Hey, hey, hey Y/N. It’s ok. You didn’t do anything wrong. I seriously think it was just…”, Eddie shrugs. “Beer and a packed in place. People just being…too rowdy. It happens but that’s what we’re here for.”

The man throws his arms up in surprise when you suddenly tackle him, wrapping your arms around his waist as you press your head into his chest. 

“Thank you…so much.” You let him go as you turn to give Steve a hug as well. “I’m so sorry you got hurt.”

When you started to pull back, his arms came down to hold you to him. “Hey, better me than you.”, he gently sighs, “Come on. Let’s get you home.”

#######

“Oh my god! What the fuck happened?! Baby, are you okay?” Simon ran to you from his place on your couch as you and the guys entered your house. 

“The concert ended a bit roughly but I’m ok. Really…”

“Isn’t it your job to fucking protect her!?”

“Yes and we did that.”

“Are you fucking kidding me?! Look at her! She’s a mess and she’s shaking!” Your boyfriend charged up to Steve who glared down at him as he continued to yell in his face.”

“Simon, leave them alone. Please, I just want to get this crap off and go to bed.”

Eddie gripped his friend’s arm as he spoke to you. “Is there anything else you need, Y/N? Do you feel safe enough for us to leave and let you rest?”

“Of course, she fucking does. I can take care of her.”

Your eyes met theirs as you nodded. “Thank you.”

“We’ll talk to Jack and everyone in the morning.” The metalhead tugs at Steve forcing him to back down from your boyfriend. He flashes you one more cursory glance before turning around and leaving you for the night. 

###########

“You boys did good last night. I don’t know what happened but you knew what to do.” Jack gave them a smile as he nodded his head in approval. “Please keep up that vigilance next week when we go on tour. I think—”

“Wait. You’re still doing the tour next week?”

Your manager looked at Eddie in confusion. “Yes? Why wouldn’t we?”

“I mean…she just went through a pretty traumatic event. I couldn’t imagine getting back up on a stage immediately after something like that.”

“Yeah, well, your security not a musician so—”

“I actually am but whatever.”

Jack sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose as speaks to you. “Do you feel like you need more time?”

You didn’t even hear the man’s question. Since they picked you up and brought you to your managers office, you had been uncharacteristically quiet. You were thinking about everything including what transpired last night. It WAS incredibly scary but they did pull through and keep you safe. Not only did they look after you but each other; you appreciated that loyalty. 

Now as Eddie defended you, thinking of your well-being, you felt yourself spiraling at the action. No one cared about you this much and they barely even knew you. What was their end game? What made them tick? What made them this way? Was it genuine or was it just their jobs?

“Y/N!”

“Huh? Oh, um, I mean…a week would be fine…especially if I can just rest…”

“Yeah, sure, whatever.”, Jack responded in a nonchalant tone. “Go ahead and take the week but be back here on Thursday so we can go over everything.”

You nod as you head out of the office with your protectors in tow. “Hey, um, did you guys want to go get some lunch or something?”

***

“So, why security?”, you ask as you bite into your burger.

“Like Steve said, I mean, we’re good at it.”

“Well, good at protecting people. Security work just allows us to get paid for it.”, the man smiles as he takes a sip from his drink. 

“And you two have been friends for a while?”

“Since high school.”

“And where was that exactly?”

“You’re asking a lot of questions, sweetheart. Can I ask why?”, Eddie playfully narrows his eyes in your direction making you smile. 

“I just…you two are very different then people we usually hire. I just want to know more about you.”

“Different how?”, Steve asks.

“I don’t know. You just seem to genuinely care.”

“If the people around you don’t genuinely care then you need to hire some new people.”

“Yeah, well, that’s hard to find in this industry.” You reach in your purse and raise a flask in their direction as you pour a bit into your coffee.

“Is that why you do things like that?”, Eddie gestures towards you drink. 

“No, baby. I do things like this to keep me from going insane.”

“How about you do the healthy thing and stand up for yourself?”

You angerly turn your attention to Steve. “I can stand up for myself.”

“Oh? Is that why you let your manager, boyfriend, and entourage talk down to you the way they do?”

“Go fuck yourself, alright?! Look, I can stick up for myself and say what’s on my mind. For example, you two are complete fucking assholes.”, you growl. “I’m done eating. I want to go home.”

Eddie smirks as the other boy sighs. “Such a whiney, spoiled brat. I swear.” The metalhead pulls out his wallet, throwing money on the table as they both get to their feet. “Your highness.”, he gestures towards the front door. 

“I’m not whiney or spoiled. I worked hard to get here and I’m not going to let you or anyone talk to me like that.”

“Yet you do.”, Steve retorts as he opens the back door to his car. You roughly reach across, slamming it shut. “I thought you wanted to go home.”

“Apologize to me.”

“For what? Pointing out the obvious? Frankly, I don’t get why you have such a low opinion of yourself. You’re beautiful, talented, and you have such a gorgeous voice yet you pump yourself with poison and let these people take advantage of you. Why?”

You exhale as you look towards the ground. “I can handle it.”

“You say that a lot.” Eddie folds his arms on top of the car as he leans onto his hands. 

“Because I can.”

“By getting wasted?”

“My personal life is none of your fucking concern.”, you growl. 

“You’re right.” Steve opens the back door again and this time you climb in. “You just seem like you deserve better.”

##########

“I swear, man, that girl is going to get us killed. Or put in prison after WE kill her.”, Eddie chuckles from his place on the sofa. 

“I kind of like her.” The metalhead coyly raises his eyebrow at his friend. “Oh, come on, like you don’t?”, Steve sighs as he leans back against the couch. “There’s something hidden under all that sass and alcohol…I saw it when she was singing. I’d love to get to know that part of her better.”

Eddie grinned as he reached for his phone, smile fading when he saw the ID. 

“Hello. This is Eddie Munson.”

“E-Eddie? I, um, I think—FUCK YOU! —I need help.”

“You stupid bitch! Open this fucking door right fucking now!”

Eddie ross to his feet, tugging at Steve’s arm as he searched for his keys. “Where are you?”

“I-I’m in my bedroom. Simon and I got into a fight and-and he’s wasted. Pl-please…I’m scared. He’s never been this angry.”

Steve had already started the car, speeding towards your house. “Hey, it’s ok, sweetheart. We’re on the way, alright? Just stay on the phone with me, ok?”

“I’m sorry I was so mean to you guys today. Fuck… you two seem s-so different. I-I just…”

“Y/N don’t even worry about that right now. Everything’s going to be alright. We’re almost there.”

“You think you’re so high and mighty! Think you can talk to me anyway you want to! Fuck you, you fucking slut! Open the door, Y/N!”

“Oh, sure! You fuck all the groupies and fans that show up to my concerts but I’m the fucking slut!”

“Y/N, stop engaging. Talk to me.” There’s a loud crash and a squeak from your side as the line cuts off. “Steve…hurry.”

Five minutes later, they are bursting through your front door, running towards your bedroom where they hear your boyfriend shouting. Steve tackles him to the floor subduing him with his knee in his back. 

“Get the fuck off me!”

“Stop moving. You’re lucky I don’t fucking shoot you, asshole.”

“Y/N?”, Eddie softly called your name as you continued to cower in the corner with your head tucked into your arms. “Princess, everything is ok. I’m going to touch your arm.” You jump when his fingers graze your skin but you allow him to guide you to your feet. “There we go. Good girl. You’re doing so good. Can you look at me so I can check you out here?”

Your lips trembled as you faced him, his eyes slowly growing dark with fury as he scanned you over. Your face was red from your tears but he could also see where Simon had smacked your cheek. You had bruises that were starting to form on your arms where he must have grabbed you. 

“I’ll call the police and EMS.”, he grumbled trying to contain his anger. 

“No! No EMS. Please…I don’t need those pictures or attention.”

“But I do of me being pushed into a fucking cop car.”, Simon spat. 

Steve grabbed his hair and hit his head into the carpet. “Shut. Up.” His eyes meet yours as he speaks in a much gentler tone. “Are you sure?”

“Yeah, um, I have a first aid kit here and all that so I’m fine.”

*** 

The police came by and took Simon away after taking everyone’s statements. Eddie and Steve took care of almost everything which you immensely appreciated. After everyone left, you expected them to as well but as your front door closed, you found you weren’t the only one on the other side. 

“I’m going to see if I can get your bedroom door back on its hinges.”, Eddie turned the corner to head down your hallway as Steve followed. 

You tiptoe after them, watching them with bewilderment as the metalhead got to work and Steve began straightening up the things Simon had damaged.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” They both froze, straightening up to look at you. “Why…why are you so nice to me? I’m such a fucking bitch to you. According to you, I’m a bratty, spoiled, washed up singer. WHY are you doing this?!”, you gesture around the room. 

They glanced at each other and after a few minutes it was Steve who finally spoke. “How should we be? Hm? Should we be like him? Do you think you deserve to be treated like this, Y/N?”

Their voices and demeanor completely changed in the moment; talking to you like a little girl who had just run into your parent’s room crying about a monster under her bed. 

“Sweetheart, NO ONE deserve to be treated like this. You didn’t trigger this. What he just did…isn’t your fault. You did the right thing calling us here. Now what kind of protectors would we be if we left you here alone with your house like this?”

You broke, sobbing almost uncontrollably as your hands covered your face. Strong hands tenderly grabbed your biceps, pulling you into a chest as you wrapped your arms around his back. Another palm delicately petted your head and for the first time in your life, you had never felt safer.

Stepping back, you wipe your eyes, glancing up to see Eddie’s kind, worry filled orbs running over your face as Steve stood beside him doing the same.

“Can, um, can we worry about this tomorrow and you stay here with me tonight?” 

“Yeah, we can stay here, honey. Do you have another room you can sleep in? I don’t think tomorrow morning you should open your eyes and this is the first thing you see.”

“I have a guest bedroom down the hall here.”

“Good because I agree with Steve. We can sleep on the couches out here and—”

“Can you sleep with me?”, you interrupt, your question startling both men. “I-I-I mean, you don’t have to. I just… I’m still a bit scared. I’m…forget about it.”

Eddie grabbed your hand as you started to walk away. 

“We can do that for you. If that’s what you want.” You nod your head to his statement, watching him closely as his eyes shift from security Eddie to something you had never seen before in any man. Whatever it was it made you feel weak in the knees. His fingers reached out to brush a loose strand of hair behind your ear. “Can you say it?”

“I-I want you two to sleep…in my bed…with me. Please.” That last word comes out almost in a whisper, pleading with them to stay. 

Steve’s fingers softly caress your cheek before gliding under your chin, turning you to face him. He had that same look Eddie had, that air of confidence you remembered seeing when you first met them but more dominate. 

“Good girl.”

[koichi-nomura]

You mentioned absolutely adoring "Ask Her A Question" from My Fair Hatey for a lot of reasons. Was that partially exaggeration, or do you actually have an analysis to dish out?

Much love!

Yeah definitely some exaggeration lol and it’s basically just the sound of it, I adore all the songs on there but judging purely by how they sound, (not the narrative purpose) of all of them that one’ my favorite.

Voice acting is incredibly important to me, across all my favorite shows that’s the first thing I think about, I’m obsessed with line delivery and with identifying voices (I pride myself in being the best out of my siblings at identifying who’s voice it is first lol), so the main thing for me really is that Wander has my favorite voice in the series, his singing is so nice and it’s interesting how (for this song at least) he doesn’t do it with a lot of volume or anything, it’s relatively calm for him. He’s half-singing half-talking too and his line delivery is amazing. You can hear the giddiness in his voice at some parts, he does it so well lol. And his accent and the inflections he puts on certain words I love it. Namely his “ab-out:”

I can’t explain why I’m so interested in voices (probably just autism again) but along with comedy, art, and animation it’s one of my favorite things.

I’ don’t know a ton about music other than “this sounds good to me, this doesn’t” but I’m still very opinionated on it, my enjoyment of music tends to be more based on unique singing voices and variability in the music. Some cartoons have very lazy, uninteresting soundtracks and Wander is definitely not one of them, even if you’re talking about just the normal soundtracks, not the songs. it’s great how each if the main characters have their own background themes and even some sung theme songs lol. I can’t tell you what I like about specifically the music of “Ask Her a Question” I just know that I really like it.

In a narrative sense it’s obviously fun seeing Wander’s philosophy on romance and watching Hater go along with it lol. For the story overall I think it’s meant to be pretty significant that Hater would be interested in someone else enough to ask about their opinions, we saw how terrible he was on “The Date”.

The animation is visually interesting as usually with a lot of great stretching from Wander.

This is also my favorite kind of musical; “everyone knows they’re signing” instead of “nobody’s actually singing, they’re just conveying the emotions and storytelling through song for the audience’s eyes only.”

Woy in general is just exemplifies all the ways I would love to do things if I could create a cartoon;

The music is spectacular, so is the voice acting, the voice actors can sing instead of needing stand-in singers, the character designs are so recognizable, I love everyone’s names (‘Major Threat’ is such stupid and funny wordplay lol), the characterization is so good and interesting for everyone (infinitely kind characters are my favorite tho) the comedy is great and I like a lot of the gags but what’s especially great is the character-driven comedy; jokes that are funny just because the characters have funny personalities and interactions. The animation is spectacular too, I’m usually not at all a fan of flash animation but they utilize it in such a way that I didn’t used to know it was flash, the squash and stretch they do with the characters is so fun and interesting without looking grotesque or unappealing, they just look silly (there’s so many moments where it’s too fast to really get a grasp on what’s happening and if you look at it frame by frame it’s super impressive).

Sorry for rambling, this is what happens when I get questions and no character limit, much love back!! :]

[strawbrrydior]

TBP HEADCANONS

• Vance likes to be nurtured and prefers quiet, gentle things. If you approach him nicely and you talk to him nicely then he won’t be mean to you he just has a trigger for aggression.

• Bruce is multitalented. One of those guys who can do anything he really tries to and has done a lot. He’s done theatre, baseball, he’s really good at braiding hair and is excellent at writing informative essays but his main things are studying unsolved cases and filling notebooks with information on thinks he’s into.

• robin boxes every other day after school, he goes to this gym that’s sort of old and kind of empty so it’s usually just him in there. He brings a little radio and hustles a punching bag for hours. Sometimes Vance comes and works out with him, usually they don’t talk rather just enjoy each others company (and music taste. I think they like similar stuff.)

• Vance and Gwen and Amy are actually really good friends for some reasons 9/10 of the times the boys can’t find Vance it’s because he’s at one of their houses letting the girls braid his hair. He protects them but truly he’s scared of them they’re vicious rabid creatures

•Gwen, aside from her dreams and shit, just has really good intuition and can read people like books. Which is why she and Vance are such good friends because she reads him so well she somehow manages to know exactly whats wrong at all times, besides, she went through a stress toy phase and now has a drawer full of them she doesn’t use and Vance has taken all of them. Win win.

• griffin doesn’t know how to ride a bike. He swore up and down that he did and billy got annoyed and called his bluff, hopped off his bike and pat the seat. He couldn’t even get on it he was down on the sidewalk in half a second.

•billy is an advent fan of the outsiders and his favorite character is Darry. He likes to associate characters to his friends and it’s an inside joke between them who’s who. (Finney is pony boy, robin is Johnny. Vance is dally, Bruce is soda pop (but also billy argued he was cherry. He wanted to be soda pop) griffin is two bit, and billy is Darry. (And they wonder why that’s his favorite.) Gwen thinks she should be soda pop and Bruce should be cherry and not reverse but whatever! )

• finney and Gwen’s movie is grease. It’s their favorite, they have The soundtrack on tape and know the dances. They sing duets, finneys danny and Gwen is sandy. Gwen’s favorite song is hopelessly devoted and finneys is you’re the one that I want

•robin listens to a lot of rock and a bit of metal (mostly because of Vance who just needs someone to talk to about albums he likes so he tells Robin cuz Robin always actually listens to them.) he rly likes run dmc and the beastie boys. Any fast paced or loud music is his shit. Finney doesn’t like loud noises and he doesn’t enjoy listening to that kind of music it makes him antsy so their common ground is soft 50s / 60s music. (I.e those magic changes - Sha na na & anything Ritchie valens) but most of the time robin plays whatever he wants on his stereo and just keeps it super low.

•robin and Vance have daily smoke seshs in the bathroom (one robin fought to own literally. Like he put a group of seniors on their asses freshmen year and now it’s his bathroom no one goes in there)

•Billy’s really into old movies and is constantly in the library trying to read up on old 1920s actresses

•billy likes classical music. He buys cheap tapes and lets them play softly in the background

•robins bed is in the corner of his room against a wall so whenever finney sleeps over he sleeps on the side pressed against the wall because sometimes he gets nightmares and makes monsters out of the shadows in the room but from the corner he can’t see them.

•Vance hopper is a writer he’s awful at SAYINg how he feels so he writes to people. He writes poems and stories and stuff and he’s a real good story teller he just can’t figure out how to get the words out of his mouth

•griffin has undiagnosed adhd and spent all of his life getting yelled at by his mother over it. He’s self conscious about himself and tries to do things quietly in dark corners but the boys are never annoyed with him when he talks or runs around or stims and it helps him come to terms with himself

• griffins dad and Vance’s mom are dating and have been since they were younger. They live together and even though Vance still has to go see his dad on a court order and stuff griffin always waits at the doorstep for him or drives with his mom to drop and pick him up

•Bruce is the oldest in the group and takes on a motherly type role. He’s always there to help them, constantly feeds them and buys them stuff and talks to them like he’s sooo much older then them and how he’s sooo tired from raising kids and working but deep down it makes him happy to provide and make other people happy. He needs to be taken care of too and there’s always someone there for him (usually Vance because he’s a little more mature then the others and notices when Bruce is down before they do. Not their faults though, sometimes they just don’t peep it for a while.)

•robins mom loves finney, she jokes about loving him more then robin All the time. Sometimes they’ll lay at the foot of her bed while she’s watching tv and just whisper to eachother. She enjoys their company and really likes it when they stay home she much prefers they just stay right by her side for safety

•robin has a dog named paco , he’s a 3 year old brown pit bull. Very rowdy and clumsy just like robin :)

[joopacabra]

pondering tonight, pondering my hypothetical orb, mysterious n shit.. basically, i feel like rambling

i am thinking about the cold wife prisoner tonight, effortlessly beautiful! i want to sit with her quietly together,, pretty sure I said that already but my wife(ves?) are just that good

today hasn’t been so bad, i got over my recent yuck thoughts and have since mourned the passing of my slinky, things have been kinda Dull but I had some fun interactions at least

im constantly afraid of being overbearing when i get excited talking to people, I’d like to imagine i am making friends but I don’t really know what constitutes as that and I think it’s selfish to assume I’ve actually made any usually ,, this socializing shit is difficult sometimes, i could be holding a giant plushie of my wife instead… but still, things are fun but those thoughts linger, among other things

I feel pretty bad again lately I haven’t worked on drawing much, being stressed about assorted things has made it difficult,, tried learning some hands, arms, shoulder, torso, etc,, but yeah that pissed me off good, probably since I wasn’t in a good mood to begin with,,, it’ll probably take me a long time but hopefully I’ll get there soon and can share cool things

unrelated to my troubles, working through the new risk of rain 2 dlc more , good run tragically fucking annihilated by a scavenger looking in my general direction, as usual. it’s tough, and still pretty buggy in some places.. but if anything I can always count on the music delivering, risk of rain- as a series- has one of the best soundtracks of just anything Ever to me.. nobody much sees these but if you haven’t heard risk of rain music I implore you to ,, and then maybe talk to me about it. Please. Sprinkles on top. I am very normal about music.

that all aside, I’ve got a pretty irritating headache, and that’s all for now ,, if anyone sees this, have a very good day or night :)

[agentnico]

Beetlejuice Beetlejuice (2024) review

Watched the first Beetlejuice only last week and wasn’t a fan. So why did I go see the second one? Good question.

Plot: Three generations of the Deetz family return home to Winter River after an unexpected family tragedy. Still haunted by Beetlejuice, Lydia's life soon gets turned upside down when her rebellious teenage daughter discovers a mysterious portal to the afterlife. When someone says Beetlejuice's name three times, the mischievous demon gleefully returns to unleash his very own brand of mayhem.

It’s been a while since Tim Burton has been himself. Granted he did get some points for his Netflix Wednesday show, but on the movie front he hasn’t really truly exhibited his unique style since maybe Dark Shadows, and even then that wasn’t his high point. With Beetlejuice Beetlejuice, Burton is able to step back into his wacky weird self, and again even though I am not a major fan of the original, there was something truly special about sitting in the cinema watching an actual Tim Burton movie. A mix of nostalgia and sentimentality for sure, but the movie genuinely FEELS like a Burton production. From the practical effects to the unearthly and grotesque make-up and visuals, and add to that Danny Elfman returning for the music score, it felt like I was back in the early 2000s. Visually this movie was great to look at, with the costumes and the monsters and the ghosts, and also the soundtrack is truly killer, playing out like an 80s jukebox.

As for the narrative, the first film suffered from a lack of a cohesive plot. Things just sort of happened randomly. This sequel does the opposite - there are too many storylines. So much so that there are multiple characters that, if you simply pluck them out of the movie, would make no major impact or difference to the overall picture. Monica Bellucci and Willem Dafoe, though both class actors, did not need to be in this movie. They served zero purpose. There is also a romantic side-plot between Jenna Ortega and Arthur Conti, and 90% of that story was one of the dullest aspects of the whole movie. It felt like such a cliched teen romance knock off which I did not care for. Then the main plot line involving the three generations of the Deetz family reconnecting was the most interesting one, and in reality should have been the sole focus of the movie.

Michael Keaton is back as Beetlejuice and it’s actually incredible how even though it’s been 36 years since the original, his performance hasn’t changed at all. It’s as if he played the character yesterday - he drops right back into it and is enjoyably over-the-top and hilarious. Catherine O’Hara is also an MVP, as since the original she has evidently built up her confidence by being on Schitt’s Creek, and so here is such a loud and bombastic comedic presence. She was fantastic. Winona Ryder was fun to see back, though I do think her character lost the sassy spark she had when she was the gothic teen in the first film. As for Jenna Ortega, she was fine. She feels a bit overexposed to me in recent years, with the sense that her presence is unavoidable wherever you look. I would love to see her take on a more challenging role that presents a drastically different performance from what she usually does, to justify the hype.

I don’t see myself ever wanting to rewatch Beetlejuice Beetlejuice again, but as a one-time watch in the cinema it won me over with its nostalgia and style. There’s good laughs, plenty of detachable limbs, good performances, and an ace soundtrack. A great way to spend time at the movies! Also watch out for that Dune reference!

Overall score: 6/10

[rainparadefromhell]

How Never Have I Ever Uses Music to Hint at the Future

 I’ve always loved the way music tells a story, especially in movies and tv shows. These things usually go unnoticed unless you’re a college student trying to ignore homework on a Tuesday afternoon. I have been aware that NHIE has been whispering a secret story through its soundtrack for a while now but never had time to actually compile it into one monster of a post. So I’m doing it now!

This is where I try to convince you that the show has been hinting at Devi ending up with Ben all the way since season one. There are over 100 songs in the official soundtrack and of course, I can’t go through them all so I’ll just stick with the most important moments from all three seasons and lyrics that I think encapsulate the core message of the songs.

 SEASON 1

 The Pilot – Introductions

Paxton’s intro song (Dancing On My Own – Robyn) makes a lot of sense for both characters. It talks about trying hard to get someone’s attention and failing at it. It is a song with a dramatic, pulsating beat that plays over Paxton’s big entrance into Devi’s class.

 I'm in the corner, watching you kiss her, oh

I'm right over here, why can't you see me? Oh

I'm giving it my all, but I'm not the girl you're taking home, ooh

I keep dancing on my own (I keep dancing on my own)

 Ben is introduced with a softer melody (Rubia – Juan Wauters). It is in Spanish, a language I don’t speak as well so I won’t try to translate it but I will leave you with this Pitchfork review of it written by Steven Arroyo :

“Rubia” still succeeds wonderfully on these terms, a longing love letter to someone with a memorable nose in a far-away country…

 Te guardo un lugar en mi corazon

No quiero irme, chequeo hora son

Me iré pensando que

Muy pronto contigo yo estaré

 There is an important moment near the end of the episode when Devi goes to talk to Paxton (and asks him to have sex with her) in which Playing Games by Anna of the North plays.

 I've been playing games with your heart

Left you thinking in the dark

Just to make you feel unsure

Then I know you want me more

 This whole song is very interesting to me. The singer seems to describe a situation in which she has the upper hand in a relationship.

I’ve been playing games with your heart, so I know I’ve made my mark is a lyric I think perfectly shows Devi’s desire to enter a relationship. It is not because she actually likes Paxton. In fact, she doesn’t even know him yet. I think it tells of Devi’s reasons to have a boyfriend – to make a mark not just on him but the school, and her peers as well. She wants to stop being “invisible” as to somehow regain some power over her situation in s1 (the death of Mohan) as well as distract herself from it.

 Episode 2

The song Dancing on The Limit (by Prizes) plays as Devi dreams of Paxton coming into her room to have sex with her. It is the first “love song” of Devi and Paxton which I find genius since it doesn’t actually depict reality.

I'm never gonna quit it

Back in love within a minute

We're dancing on the limit

But I love the way you're making me move

 It is a fantasy, something Devi feels when she imagines what would be like to be Paxton’s girlfriend.

 Episode 6

In Ben’s episode we get so much more insight into who he is, and not just that shell of an obnoxious overachiever he built for himself. We also get insight into his feelings for Devi when he is having dinner with the Vishwakumars where after choosing not to “nuke her back”, he actually has a fun time with her family as the song (Call Me by Sarah Rebecca) in the background goes :

 Call me angel, I could save you

I want you, I want you, I want you, I want you, I want you

 At the very end of the episode when Devi Venmos Ben so that he never has to “accept food from a pedo again” another love song can be heard (Lost – Boy Harsher).

 I’m the one that holds you

In the middle of the night

 I'm the one that wants you

Forever til we die

 Episode 7

In this episode Devi and Paxton kiss for the first time to Fire For You by the Cannons which at first seems like a really sensual song… until you actually read the lyrics.

 I could've died for you

How could you not know?

I was alive with you

But you brought in the cold

Was I being lied to? Wish I never met you

Started to regret you

  Episode 10

 Boys Like You -  Kids at Midnight

We’ve reached my favorite NHIE song. I love the synths. I love the 80s vibe. I love everything about it (No wonder why that Malibu kiss got an MTV nomination).

Certainly the most interesting thing about this song playing during this scene is right as the camera lowers on Devi’s phone, we cut to Paxton leaving a voicemail with these lyrics in the background :

 She said, "Boys like that should be in second place”

Now do with that what you will but this is the most intentionally placed lyric in season 1, in my opinion.

 I know it hurts right now, one day you'll realise

There's no need to hide yourself from the world

All my life I've been hiding myself

Just waiting for a boy like you

SEASON 2

 Episode 8

In the scene we see Devi apologize to Ben about the cheating when the song Up All Night by The Undercover Dream Lovers starts playing. The song is seemingly about second chances and not letting someone go. I thought the theme of driving was interesting considering Malibu.

 Caught up on the freeway

You test my patience all the time

Find another exit, ooh

Blocking you from mine

 Episode 9

Heat Waves – Glass Animals

 During Paxton and Devi’s kiss Heat Waves plays and I have to admit the song as well as the scene are amazing. However, I’ve seen this song misunderstood by Daxton fans so much, probably due to the scene trending (mostly on TikTok where people enjoy quick content without much context).

The writer of the song, David Bayley says this about what it means, mentioning another song called Your Love : “They're both definitely two of the songs that are about relationships and sort of knowing that they're doomed,"

Bayley uses the term Heat Wave to represent an illusion of a highway mirage (the air that rises off asphalt on extremely hot days making it seem like the road is wet).

So the love that the writer describes is just like the heat waves – an illusion.

 Now I gotta let you go

You'll be better off in someone new

I don't wanna be alone

You know it hurts me too

You look so broken when you cry

One more and then I say goodbye

 Episode 10

GOLDEN – Running ; Ben comes into the girls bathroom to try and make Devi feel better after she is rejected by Paxton. As he is saying “When are you gonna to realize that that dick doesn’t deserve you” the lyrics playing are :

But I get these feelings

That I can't explain

It’s in my veins

being the underdog all the time

 Hello Pongo – Summer Love

Another love song that plays when Ben and Devi see each other at the dance.

I've been lookin,

for you my summer love

forever summer love

Sam Smith – Love Goes

This song is – do you wanna guess? Not a love song. It is a sad one.

I hope you understand that I have to send you away

You may not understand, but I know that you will one day

You're broken, I know this

And if you knew it, you would love me a whole different way

But that's how love goes, goes

I also think it’s funny how just as Devi and Paxton are about to slow dance the DJ plays a different, more upbeat song which tells us they aren’t really that compatible with each other. They just never manage to catch that love song!

 I wonder if season 4 brings us a Ben and Devi slow dance…

SEASON 3

Episode 1

 Josha Daniel – Dream of You ; We finally get something close to a love song for Daxton in the first scene of season 3 even though it it pretty vague and repetitive.

 We are never gonna waste our time again

I can't sleep when i dream of you

I can't sleep when i dream of you

 Ilo Ilo – Clementine ; Devi and Paxton almost have sex

Clementine

Trying to erase you from my spotless mind

Hit fast-forward but I'm stuck in rewind

 Episode 3

Afternoon Bike Ride – Before The Fall ; Devi tells Nalini she and Paxton broke up

After an autumn of ends lеd to silence

Winters cloak covered the tracks of the tyrants

Spring couldn't bring on the promise of June

With no voice to sing and nothing to bloom

I found the mention of June interesting even if it wasn’t intentional because it almost seems like an answer to Heat waves (Sometimes, all I think about is you, Late nights in the middle of June).

Mel Blue – Finding You; Ben tells Fabiola Devi broke his heart

I lost you love

You lost you too

I lost myself

I’m finding you

Episode 5

Carla Morrison – Eres tú ; Ben and Devi say goodbye to each other after their bet at the coffeehouse

(I found a translation for this one)

Today I woke up wanting to kiss you

I have a thirst to caress you

Entangle myself with you and not let you go

You're so intoxicating

It's you

 Episode 10

“Because I’ll miss you. A lot.”

“Wait. There’s the stomach knots.”

Jaguar Sun – Car Keys

Oh, how you've grown

Look back now

And move on

Don't worry, about a thing

Just grab those car keys

And drive into the rain

Another song involving cars, driving… I’m starting to think all of this makes sense! Also I love how the song mentions growth because Devi did grow so much in season 3.

 Prinze George – Take off

 Saw you in the living room

You were wild with light and I wanted you

Tried to do the woman thing

I was eager, young and abandoning

I would force you to love me

I would force you to stay

I would force you to love me

I would stand in your way

And you can't take off without me now

After Boys Like You this has to be my favorite NHIE song. It also has an 80s vibe to it and the two songs feel very much connected in my mind. The lyrics talk about standing in a lover’s way. Preventing them from leaving you and closing that chapter of their life.

I am still in your way

This lyric that appears later in the song shows that after everything that happened to them in season 4, they are still in each other’s way. They can’t forget about each other even after actively pursuing other people.

 After analyzing so many songs, I really have to give credit to the show. Most of these were chosen so carefully to fit certain moments. You can really tell the show was made with a lot of intention and love, at least soundtrack wise.

 As far as proving who the main couple (endgame couple, whatever you wanna call it) in season 4 is, to me that is pretty obvious even without the support of the soundtrack. I’m very curious about the songs we’ll get to hear in the new season and I also wonder if we will hear some old ones again.

Let me know what you think!

[santiagonex]

I can’t sleep. Let’s talk about the four sacred top fives of 2022 as in top 5 gay movies, top 5 gay tv ships (or shows as whole), top 5 short gay movies and for the next one, let’s change it up a little bit and I’ll provide you with top 5 upcoming gay movies (2023) I’m looking forward to and are currently in the process of pre-production, production or post-production.

Top 5 Gay Movies of 2022

5. La Santa Piccola - very different from your usual gay movies, but the scenery is gorgerous and the story made me feel things 4. Badhaai Do - amazing queer representation in Indian Cinema, "gay guy and a lesbian woman enter into holy matrimony to appease their families”... just pure comedy and romance and the friendship is beautiful 3. Fire Island - a classic rom-com, must-see 2. In from the Side - rugby gays, affair, romance... all of that 1. Sublime - since it’s finally available on VoD, I had a chance to watch it this weekend and the soundtrack and story got me... Mi mejor amigo vibes but actually gay

Top 5 Gay Ships/TV Shows of 2022

5. Heartstopper - a classic, it was honestly hard to rate the shows because they’re all equally brilliant in my eyes 4. Heartbreak High - australian Sex Education, obsessed 3. The Bastard Son & The Devil Himself - magic, witches, gays... c’mon 2. Prisma - very important show 1. Patrick/Iván in Élite - they’re literally everything to me, if you get it you get it, if you don’t you don’t, if you know you know and if you don’t know I honestly feel bad for you like I literally cannot explain it, I don’t have the vocabulary to sit here and explain like either you get the vibe or you don’t

Top 5 Gay Shorts of 2022

5. Catalina - a queer man and his two childhood best friends reunite for a weekend camping trip on Catalina Island... could there be sumn more? 4. Too Rough - Nick wakes up next to his boyfriend Charlie and must conceal him from his own homophobic and dysfunctional family... very sad 3. Jean est tombé amoureux - two football players of opposite teams falling in love... mm very good! 2. Swim - two swimmers develop a strong friendship during their weekly sessions, but their relationship is tested outside the pool, when true identities are revealed... this one fawked me up good 1. Hard - Mikey experiences awkwardness and struggles to navigate the uncertainties of his sexuality after his first time with a girl doesn't go as expected, forcing him to confront his feelings of desire for his best friend... this was so much fun to watch

Top 5 Upcoming Gay Movies in 2023

5. The History of Sound - Paul Mescal and Josh O’Connor in a gay romance period drama? We’re looking forward to that actually! Anyways, they were supposed to film it this year, but they had busy schedules. Current plan is next year. Also Paul was hanging out with the director last month, so maybe something’s cooking. 4. Glitter & Doom - described as a summer romance musical feature told with the iconic tunes of folk duo Indigo Girls. Film follows a musician who wears charisma as camouflage and a carefree guy about to run away with the circus as they fall in love at first sight. Sounds fun. 3. Nuovo Olimpo - any Ferzan Özpetek fans? Any Manuel from Un professore fans? Well, looks like we won. Period drama set in Italy, following two men who have a chance encounter and then fall deeply in love, and then are torn apart. The film then follows them both over the next decades as they attempt to find each other again. 2. Strangers - yes, another one with Paul Mescal... yes, I’m crazy. And hi Andrew Scott. Directed by Andrew Haigh (Weekend, HBO’s Looking). Word on the street is that their characters will be romantically involved since Mescal's character corresponds to a woman who has a romance with the protagonist (Scott) in the original novel. We will be tuning in. 1. Bonus Track - film set in 2006, follows a small-town boy with dreams of being a gifted musician. When the son of an iconic musical duo enrols at his school, a powerful bond between the boys begins to grow. Based on an original story by Josh O'Connor (yes, him) and Michael Gilbert.

Anyways, that is it. There are a lot of movies that weren’t released THIS year yet, and I’m looking forward to them (Punch, Aristotle and Dante, Spoiler Alert,...). But I would be just repeating myself, so I’m not gonna talk about that.

[vermillion71401]

MY REVIEW ON PSYCHO PASS PROVIDENCE

Disclaimer: I’ve been Psycho Pass fans since (roughly) 9 years ago. I’ve never want to write any reviews on the series until now because I NEED THIS TO GET OUT OFF MY HEAD, and there’s some things I don’t understand. Still, I’m just a fan, this review is based on my opinion only. After I finish this so called essay, I found more question than answer, so if you don’t want extra headache, don’t read it. Also if you’re not Kouaka shipper, pass it, you’ll find me annoying.

Apologize beforehand if there’s any typo or any missed info. I hope you understand my write (English isn’t my first language, so I struggled a lot.)

This post consist on four part; review, my opinion on character, relationship, and my irregular thoughts throughout scene.

BEWARE OF THE SPOILERS.

..

STORY, CHARACTER

PPP occur after Kougami’s return to Japan. Shorty after, Peacebreaker make their way to steal Stronskaya Paper for their gain, terrorize everyone that blocked their plan. Akane can’t stay still after witnessing horrible acts of this group and their leader, determine to arrest them along with division 1 and SAD team.

Overall story is pretty straightforward, which I like. They make a new storyline and new interesting character and villain, makes it compelling. A new system like General is a fresh idea, rather than just stick with Sybil System. We actually can relate to villain, learn through his trauma and backstory, eventually we feel sympathy for him. Not to mention some cool stunt and action.

Aside from storyline, what makes this more interesting is we get to see relationship development between Kougami, Akane and Ginoza before S3. The three OG character since s1, and how they see each other now.

Akane, as a main character can finally have some development also in the end of the movie. I wish they explore it more.

MUSIC, VISUAL & ANIMATON

The music director did a good job on this. The music match with the atmosphere of the scene so well, so we, as an audience totally immerse in the story. Some soundtrack even take samples from season 1, create nostalgic feeling into it.

Production I.G did it again for visual animation! Texture detail, smooth animation and background image is top tier. I have no right to complain anything.

OVERALL CONCLUSION (7.5/10)

This is what movie should be. Action, good plot, good character development. I had so much fun than I expected to be and recommend to every anime fan to watch it.

..

MY OPINION ON CHARACTERS:

Kougami

Kougami being Kougami again. Ever since SS3, I think we truly knows what kind of person he is, and he’s never change. That might be the reason why he didn’t regret what he’s done. Some people care for his well being though, like Prof. Saiga and Akane, she’s concern he might be used as violence tool only, that’s why she actually wanted to bring him back to CID.

In this movie, aside from being agent, it’s refreshing to see him being a detective mode even for a little moment, like the scene he had with Shion, because apparently he has brain too :/

2. Akane

Some thing never change, Akane and her unshakeable trust to the system. Like I mention before, I wish they explore more the moment before she took the action.

Throughout the film, she seems more emotional than usual. Her explosive anger remind me of s2 Akane so much.

After the incident, I was speechless of how brave she is to let it all go. Imagine your flawless, peaceful, secure life suddenly take turns and now all people will label you as unhinged. She earn my respect.

3. Ginoza

He’s truly MVP, along with Sugo. He basically carried everyone, especially how he help Sugo and Frederica.

His interaction with Kougami at first is amusing and predictable. He only mad for awhile, before he finally accept him again. At the end, his face shown frustrated for Akane’s decision, leaving everything that she achieve so far. I wonder if he feel failed again to ‘save’ his friend.

4. Frederica

She’s the perfect example of good subordinate, I think. She’s the type who obedient to her boss, not judging or question Yabuki’s decision. The contrast between her and Akane in this aspect made me laugh and make me realize that Akane is such a rebel, (lol). But she wouldn’t rebel if Sybil wasn’t an asshole.

5. Akira

Sad tool to Yabuki and Shindo :’( Seriously, he remind me so much of Kougami. Akira is selfless, willing to sacrifice himself as undercover agent for MoFA. Not to mention he even beat Kougami and Sugo in close fight, state how strong he is. If it’s not because of his kindness to spare Kougami on that scene with Tonami possessing Yabuki, Kougami would be dead by now. I think that’s why Kougami make frustrated face when he die. Seriously, his death is such a shame. He also makes me think that Kougami wouldn’t end up like Tonami, but more like him, because until PP3, the man doesn’t have ambition.

..

RELATIONSHIP OPINION:

Kougami and Akane

Idk if some people see this relationship is sink, or whatever. For me it’s actually the opposite. Akane FINALLY understand Kougami a little more. Even inspired by him. I don’t know exactly what she see in Kougami that inspire her to shot Kasei, is it because despite his CC, he actually have conscience, and ‘certain’ reason to commit crime, thus leads to make people questions (and debate) his justice?

(I’m an idiot to not know this, lol).

Akane care for him. I know the official denied romance between them, but she clearly care for him. She doesn’t want him to work like a bloodthirst hound, and value his life. At the same time I can also see what writers planning to do with him since Desmond Rutaganda address him in PP movie. 

I also notice they cut down their screen time together, even some scene that usually involve in face zooming, now they don’t. They could make their reunion so much more friendly, but they choose not to. (My guess is because they’re main characters, they can’t become lovers, that could potentially mislead the genre.) Honestly, this is so sad. If they can’t make them canon, why bother making such a great dynamic between them. Male and female can’t be friends, if you ask me. It’s too late for sudden change between them.

It’s a shame because I miss them being a partner again. Fight side by side.

Anyway, probably the only person who support her deeds is just Kougami. Regarding the convo these 2 have after he shot Tonami will address later.

2. Ginoza and Akane

Ginoza intention to become shield for her is honestly so pure. His reasoning sounds like personal feelings rather than fulfilling his duty as enforcer. Other than that, I’m more curious about his feelings after the incident. From what I see through his frustrated face and kind of ‘resentment’ face in PP3, my guess he’s somewhat angry to her for sacrifice her life (and angry at himself). I wonder what kind of face he’d make if he knew Kougami inspired her (lol, rip Kougami.)

3. Kougami and Frederica

Not so much thought, beside Kougami actually look angry at her when he lied to the team and professor. Though only angry for a second, he quickly being professional again when Akane mad at Frederica. (and look at Akane face, she’s shock and somewhat feel distance because her ex-enforcer standing up to his new boss.) Poor choice of words, Kougami.

My thoughts and issues will have another post.

[hiraeth-witch-11]

Bond to Happen Part 10

Part 10: Only One Bed

Warnings: thunderstorm, anxiety, mild flashback

Word Count: 3900ish

“C’mon, Frank. You’re backing out of our deal!” You grouse.

“I’ll make it up to you, kid, but plans changed and Bill needs me to stay behind and supervise some of the new recruits,” Frank explains the last minute change in site check.

You lean back and see that Billy’s door is open as he packs up his laptop.

“William,” you whine. “Did Frank ask to get out of going today so he can avoid paying up?”

“Sorry, sweetheart, Josie’s got the flu and we need an extra pair of hands here while we’re gone,” he says, walking into the hallway.

“Alright,” you accept, pouting. 

“What did he promise you?” Billy asks, amused.

“Control of the music for the drive there and back,” you share.

“Damn, Castle, are you sure you didn’t get Josie sick to get out of this?” He teases.

“Hey, my taste in music isn’t that bad. Taylor Swift is a lyrical genius. Frank just refuses to listen to music from this century.”

“Tell you what, since you’re driving with me now, you can control the music on the way there, but I get veto power and no promises for the drive back,” Billy says sternly, pointing his finger at you.

“Yay!” You exclaim, giving a little jump before practically skipping down the hallway towards the elevator.

“You realize what you’ve done, right Russo?” Frank asks incredulously as they lag behind.

“She gets nervous on these trips sometimes, if it makes her feel better, I can suffer through Taylor Swift and the entire Moana soundtrack,” Billy says.

“She’s actually moved on to the Encanto one now,” Frank warns.

“Great,” Billy responds wryly as they catch up to you right when the elevator doors open.

You are ready to go and get it over with, but Billy ends up having to handle a few things first, and then it’s almost lunch time and he insists the two of you eat before you go, which takes longer than it should, and then you somehow spill your coffee all over yourself and have to go back to your apartment to rinse of and change because Billy says you should be comfortable especially with a long drive. By the time you finally get on the road, it’s well into the afternoon. The two of you are lucky that the real estate agent is fine with your tardiness. It’s too late in the day for him to give you a tour so he just tells you where to find the key and asks you to lock up when you are done.

“This will be fun,” you grin as you chuck your purse into the backseat. True to everyone’s expectations, you play Taylor Swift and various Disney songs for almost the entire drive, giggling when Billy makes a face or rolls his eyes at your antics. In your defense, you had a lot of nervous energy and dramatically reenacting ‘We Don’t Talk About Bruno’ helped focus some of it.

“I’ll give you a break from my caterwauling,” you decide, turning the music down.

“You’re fine, sweetheart, sing as loud as you want. You ever heard Frankie sing?” Billy asks, smiling softly.

“No, is he any good?”

“No, he’s not,” Billy answers, shaking his head with a grin.

“What about you?” You ask, curious, eyes fixed onto his face as he focuses on the road. Something flickers across his face, an emotion you can’t name before it’s gone. 

“I don’t sing,” he confesses.

“Ever?”

“Nope.”

“Damn, what do you like to do, then?”

Billy grins lasciviously. You interrupt him before he can speak. “A real answer, Russo,

I’ve seen enough women coming to and from your apartment to know you’re a rake.”

“A rake, huh?” He asks, shooting a look at you. You shrug.

“I figure it’s a more polite term.” You shrug.

“Fine, fine, gimme a second to think of another answer,” he sighs. After a minute or two he admits, “I like to read sometimes.”

“What’s your favorite book?”

“The Picture of Dorian Gray,” he answers.

“I’ve only ever watched the movie,” you profess.

“The book’s always better than the movie, Blue,” he says, clicking his tongue at you.

“I’m sure it is, it’s just not really the sort of book I usually read.”

“What is?” 

“The official answer is going to be fantasy romance,” you declare.

“And the unofficial one?” Billy asks with a sly grin on his face.

“Nope, we are sticking with the official answer.”

His grin widens and now you’re wondering if he actually knows what ‘oh yeah, I just read fantasy romance’ is code for.

“You aren’t even gonna tell me the last book you read?” He feigns offense. 

“I’ve been going through the ‘A Court of Rose and Thorns’ series,” you confess. 

“Faerie porn?” He laughs.

“How do you even know what that is?”

He shrugs. “Never read it, but I’ve been told about it.”

“By who?” You ask, narrowing your eyes.

“Probably some of the women you’ve seen going to and from my apartment,” he teases.

“Ew.” You say, wrinkling your nose. “You can barely call it porn. It’s not even that smutty, mid level at best.”

“Oh really, sweetheart? What books would you consider ‘smutty’ enough for you?”

You rub a hand over your face as you blush. “I’m gonna stop talking now since I’m just digging myself in deeper.”

Billy lets it go for a moment and you think you’re in the clear when he says, “So I’m guessing you have kindle unlimited too, then.”

You huff at the smug look on his face. “You know too much, Russo, you’re a menace to women everywhere.”

“Only to the ones that ask nicely.” He winks and you groan in annoyance.

******

“This wall is problematic,” you tell Billy. “You should have someone look at it, I think there’s some structural integrity issues that won’t show up initially but may be a problem within the next few years.”

Billy nods and adds your comments to his notes. The sky is dark outside, though you know the sun had only just begun to set. Gray clouds have blocked out the sun and it’s been raining softly with the occasional far off clap of thunder.

“Also the owners are going to hype it up if you make an offer like they have a bunch of people interested in it. They don’t, only a couple of people have even looked at it this year and no one’s asked about renting or purchasing it.”

“What would I do without you?” Billy asks.

“Literally, just fine. You’d figure all of this out eventually, I just tell you a little sooner,” you say dryly. It was true of most of what you saw for your job, most of it he and he team would either find out eventually or would be easily prepared to handle. Only occasionally did you give them a pivotal piece of information. Sometimes you wonder why he kept you in your position, especially with how well he pays you.

“Well then, you save me a whole lotta time,” Billy insists, shoving his hands in his pockets. “You ready to get outta here?”

“Yeah, I don’t think there’s anything else I can tell you right now,” you admit.

“Maybe we can grab food on the way back, I’m starving.”

“That sounds like a g-” a loud crack of thunder interrupts you and you let out an involuntary shriek. You feel your face redden at your reaction, even as you feel your heart continue to pound painfully in your chest from the jolt to your senses. “Sorry, I was going to say that sounds like a good idea.”

Billy’s watching you curiously and you’re not sure what to make of it.

“Not a fan of storms, huh?” He asks.

You shake your head. “Not unless I’m in my bed and they’re a bit farther off. The thunder gets too loud for me.” Not to mention the sheer energy thunderstorms had. It always makes your hair stand on end and the back of your neck prickle. You used to love them, but now your most prominent memory of a thunderstorm is one of the worst nights of your life.

The two of you move through the building as the rain comes down more heavily against the windows. You reach the exit and it’s positively pouring.

“Bet you’re regretting that fancy suit right now,” you tease to cover your nerves. Billy continues to eye you with that strange look in his eyes, a little too analytical for your comfort.

“Bet you’re regretting not bringing a real jacket,” he volleys back. He’s right, your black cardigan may be comfy and long enough to reach your knees, but it’s not going to do much against this weather.

“Let’s just get this over with,” you huff, running out before he can react. Even with your head start, you reach the car at the same time and he opens your door for you, something you roll your eyes at. He slips into the driver’s seat, previously perfectly coiffed hair, now soaked and beginning to curl at the tips. You open the navigation on your phone and begin directing Billy back to the freeway. There’s a good amount of traffic considering the time, and you wish you’d had the forethought to try and leave earlier in the day to avoid it. Billy tries to start a conversation a few times, but you’re too focused on not flinching everytime you see lightning or hear thunder to talk much. Not even 30 minutes into your slowly moving drive, a traffic alert comes through your phone.

“Well fuck,” you say. 

“What is it?” Billy asks, glancing at you.

“There’s a pretty bad accident up ahead a ways, the road crumbled in a few places from the rain and caused a 7 car pile up.” 

“Well fuck,” Billy agrees. “Okay, we’ll get off at this exit and reroute, yeah?”

You nod, looking for alternative routes, all of which are currently congested with people who had the same idea. “Traffic’s pretty bad on the long way home. There are a couple back roads around it, but the advisory says to avoid them cuz they’re prone to flooding.”

Another peal of thunder punctuates your words and your hands jerk up to cover your ears as your eyes squeeze tightly shut. When it passes, you force your body to relax. Billy’s focused on the road as he takes the exit to a small town that you can barely make out through the rain. But you catch him glancing at you with concern. You don’t know how Billy can see enough to drive and the thought makes your muscles tense more with fear. He pulls into a fast food parking lot and parks, before taking your phone and checking the routes.

“Are you able to see a good way home?” He asks, turning towards you in his seat. You try, you really do. But you’re a bit drained from earlier and your body is so tense from the near constant thunder, that you can only see images from the storm.

“I can’t focus enough to see anything but the storm. I’m sorry, Russo, I should’ve noticed it before we left or at least checked this morning.”

“It’s okay, I know your sight’s not an exact science and you’re probably already exhausted from the week we’ve had. It ain’t your fault,” he reassures you. You nod robotically at his words, not really sure if you believe them. If something happened and he ended up getting hurt because you were too tired to see, you don’t know if you could forgive yourself.

Billy runs a hand through his hair and hums in thought. “I have an idea, but I don’t know if you’re gonna like it, so the decision is yours.”

“Okay, hit me,” you say as you try to smile through the anxiety still caught in your chest.

“The freeway is going to be backed up for hours with how bad that crash is and it looks like the asphalt is still continuing to crumble. There is a back road that might work, but this car isn’t really made to deal with any potential mud or flooding and we might end up getting stuck out there somewhere until the storm clears.

“My idea is we stop here for the night or until things clear up, there’s a hotel down the street. We can grab a room and watch some shitty TV while we wait, maybe get some rest. It’s up to you.”

You consider it. You don’t like sleeping in new places for obvious reasons and hotels are usually more densely populated than your apartment building which would make it near impossible to rest under normal conditions. But if you were close to Billy, his aura would probably be a buffer for most of it. And you really don’t want to spend hours more out in the storm tonight.

“I’d be okay with that,” you admit.

*****

“It could be worse,” you say as you look at the full sized and single gray arm chair in the corner. Billy drops his duffle onto the ground by the bed. He keeps a back up bag in the trunk of all his cars just in case. It has some extra clothes, first aid, some MRE’s, guns and ammo (which he kept in the car, he only brought in the gun he always carries on him), and a few knives.

“There isn’t even a couch,” Billy laments, rubbing his hand over his face.

“But there is a TV,” you counter. “And a microwave for if I end up reheating this food in the middle of the night. I still can’t believe you ordered that much for me, it’s like you’ve never eaten a meal with me before.” You stuff another chicken nuggets in your mouth and hum happily.

He rolls his eyes at you and loosens his tie, a motion your eyes track closely and you swallow. “I’ve seen you eat after readings, I’ve learned it’s better to have extra than not enough.”

“Good point. No one is fun when they’re hangry.” You set down the bag of food and pull off your cardigan, it’s soaked through after the two of you had to park on the far end of the hotel lot and run through the rain again. Your lilac colored shirt sticks to your skin and you hope you chose to wear a white bra this morning, but you can’t remember for sure. Billy reaches into his duffle and tosses a bundle of red and gray fabric at you. You catch it before it can hit the ground and look at him questioningly.

“I figured you might want something dry to wear,” he says and you notice him looking very pointedly away from you. You look down at yourself. Looks like you had chosen your black bra this morning. You really hadn't expected this shirt to become so sheer when wet. 

You thank him and quickly move to the bathroom, shucking your soaked clothes, including your bra which is almost as soaked as your shirt and currently rubbing your skin raw. You towel dry your hair, grateful to remove some of the excess moisture, before getting dressed. The clothes smell like Billy, something slightly spicy sweet, sandalwood, and hints of the scent of his ridiculously expensive hair products. You like it more than you want to admit.

You pull on the red henley, it’s a bit big on you, especially in the sleeves, but it’s soft and comfortable. The gray sweatpants, on the other hand, have to be rolled up several times so they don’t drag on the floor. You trade places with Billy so he can change as well. While you wait, you choose a side of the bed and settle down. Flicking on the TV and surfing through the channels. 

Billy comes out and you do a double take. You swear his black t-shirt is a size too small because it leaves very little to the imagination. He’s wearing matching black sweats, something you take note of before quickly averting your eyes. Thinking about Billy Russo in sweatpants was not going to lead to anything good. But he moves around to your side of the bed, partially obscuring your view of the TV.

“Move over,” he orders.

“What, why?” You ask, confused. You’d already settled in and gotten comfortable, legs tucked underneath you, arms wrapped around an extra pillow.

“So I’m closer to the door, now move,” he says, gesturing with his hands.

You roll your eyes. “If it’s that important to you, then alright.” You shuffle over to the other side and he takes your spot.

“It’s a force of habit,”

“Frank usually sleeps farthest from the door, something about having more reaction time. I thought you’d do the same,” you explain.

“If I was alone, sure,” he shrugs, stealing the remote.

“Rude, I was still using that.” You don’t really mind though, you’re tired and don’t care what’s on. “What’s the difference? With where you sleep, I mean.”

“This way, if someone came in, they’d reach me before you,” he says.

“Oh.” You think it’s a nice sentiment, though you doubt anyone is going to attack you in the middle of a storm at some random hotel. Even so, it reminds you of your mom and dad. Looking back, you remember how he always slept closest to the door, always walked on the sidewalk closer to the street. Little things that didn’t seem like much at the time, but just reinforced how much he loved your mom. It made your chest ache to think about. Sometimes you miss them so much, even with how they treated you at the end, even with how angry you are at them.

Billy turns on some sort of discovery channel show and sets the remote down on the nightstand. You notice that he’s scooted as far towards the edge of the bed as possible, but even with that, his shoulders are broad enough and the bed is small enough that it’s only sheer force of will that keeps you from touching. You yawn, turning off the lamp on your own nightstand.

“You don’t have to sit like that on my account, Bill.” You yawn again, exhaustion fully hitting you as your adrenaline high from the storm dissipates. “I don’t mind either way.” “You sure?” he checks.

You nod. “Mmhmm.”

You feel the bed shift as he relaxes a bit. He’s close enough that you can feel the heat from his body at your side. You are hyper aware of every movement of your body, every breath and blink. Billy is so close to you and your fingers itch to reach out and touch him.

A particularly loud blast of thunder rattles the windows and the lights flicker. You managed not to make a noise this time by biting your bottom lip hard and digging your nails into your palm.

“Is there anythin’ I can do?” Billy asks.

“It’s okay. It’s an irrational fear.”

“It took me a long time to get used to thunderstorms once I left the Marines,” Billy admits.

“How did you?”

Billy shrugs. “I forced myself to face it, any of the loud noises that uh triggered me, and eventually I was more or less over it. I wouldn’t recommend that way though.” He adds the last bit as an afterthought, looking at you from the corner of his eye.

“Maybe I should. I guess my preferred method is to avoid things and hope they go away. It would be nice to actually be able to enjoy storms again.”

“Did you used to?”

“Yeah, I used to love them.”

“What changed?”

Blood, pain, pavement, minds full of fire. You push down the memories. 

“You don’t have to say if you aren’t comfortable. I don’t mean to pry.”

“I had a bad experience during a storm. Haven’t liked them since.”

Billy nods in understanding. The lights flicker and go out in another crash of thunder and you can’t help but reach out and grasp Billy’s arm as you startle.

“Sorry,” you say as you remove your hand.

“S’okay, you can hold my hand anytime you want, sweetheart.” Even through the dark you can see his wink.

 “You are incorrigible,” you complain, but secretly you’re grateful for him. That actually managed to make you smile just a little.

In the dark, the exhaustion hits you more fully and you stifle a yawn.

“I think I’m going to take a nap, wake me if anything changes?” You force yourself to say as your body tries to fall asleep. You’re not sure he hears you and you think you’re mumbling a bit as you sink onto your side, facing away from him and towards the window. You’re warm enough in his clothes that you stay on top of the blankets.

“‘Course, sweetheart, get some rest.”

“Night, Billy.” You’re out before you hear his reply.

******

There are many things that Billy does not like, many things that he even hates. Handsy strangers, cheap shoes, traffic, being called pretty, green beans, the summer heat, and sand to name a few. Billy adds seeing you afraid to the list. The urge to comfort someone doesn’t come naturally. He has had to practice and teach himself how to react when people are upset. Billy has the opposite problem with you. The urge to comfort you is too strong. Your trust is a fragile thing and this is not the night to push your boundaries. Still, Billy wishes he could wrap you in his arms and cover your ears until the storm passes.

As is, the moment he hears your breathing settle and feels your body relax into sleep, he lets himself reach out and brush his fingertips against your hair and down to your shoulder. It most definitely is not because he craves contact after the brief touches you have gifted him, albeit often subconsciously. It’s also not because he wants reassurance that you are real and safe by his side. No, it is neither of those two reasons. Billy does not have an explanation for why he does it. He does not have an explanation for why he watches you through the darkness as you sleep. Only when you turn towards him and lean your forehead against his arm does Billy finally allow himself to close his eyes and rest.

******

The first thing you notice when you wake up, is how quiet it is. Not physically quiet, you hear the air conditioner rattling on full blast and know the power must have returned during the night. Your magic is quiet. No auras buzzing for your attention. Just Billy’s soothing and steady energy. The second thing you notice is that your face is pressed against something warm. Your eyes flutter open and you’re surprised to note that you turned towards him at some point in the night, apparently going as far as to lean your forehead against his bicep. You’re too comfortable to move and your self control seems to still be asleep so you stay where you are, readily breathing in Billy’s scent. After a few minutes of peace, you’re awake enough to realize you need to move before you cross any boundaries so you pull away.You aren’t sure if Billy noticed your cuddling at any point during the night, as he wakes up and greets you only once you return from the bathroom. You also aren’t sure what to do with the burgeoning realization that you wanted him. And with your magic being so agreeable around him, maybe, just maybe, you could have him.

Series List

If you want to be put on, or taken off my taglist, feel free to tell me!

@evyiione, @kayhi808, @ellooo0ooo, happydeanpotter, intothesoul

[gio-cosmo]

ooh, 14, 21 and 22?

Hiii ^^

14. Worst game you’ve ever played?

ooo this one’s tough…realistically, the worst game I’ve ever played is probably some low-budget knockoff wii game I played as a kid or something LMFAOO but I feel like that’s a predictable answer on my part. I feel like I’ve had pretty good luck with games I end up playing, I’m really picky so usually I just. Refuse to pick up a game at all if it doesn’t look interesting lmfaoo. I will say though….the two games I most regret purchasing are Fire Emblem Engage & Pokemon Scarlet 😭 they aren’t the worst games ever by any means but. They were both 60 bucks and I never play them. Very devastating for my measly bank account 😢 ALSO tbf I feel like the reason I dislike Fire Emblem Engage is bc I want another Fire Emblem game to kind of go along the same layout of Three Houses…not a direct copy obviously but Three Houses was just so good. It’s so good in fact that any time I play any other Fire Emblem game that ISN’T Three Houses I’m like….🫤 LMFAOO which I know isn’t a very good mindset for me to have and I should stop comparing them so heavily but…alas. BUT I suppose I can’t even really give Engage a proper rating since I haven’t finished it. Idk I just didn’t really care for the storyline or characters but that’s just me personally.

21. A game you thought you wouldn’t like, but ended up loving?

There’s actually quite a few where this has happened!! There’s been a plethora of games I’ve seen on Steam or in a store and I’ll look it over and be like “ehhh this really doesn’t look like my thing…but it has good ratings…and it’s under my recommended…” and then I’ll usually set it off to the side, and once I get really incredibly bored I’ll cave in and buy it just to give me something to do LMAOO. Needy Streamer Overload was one where I was very skeptic about at first, but I actually really ended up enjoying it (I especially love the soundtrack!) and also World of Horror! I remember seeing people say it was boring and the game mechanics looked so overwhelming so I put off buying it forever, but I finally got it a few weeks ago and it’s probably my fav horror game of all time now. I’m mentally kicking myself for avoiding it so avidly for so long! I don’t find it boring at all, I love games that are built to be replayed as many times as you want. It was funny though bc when I first started playing I was so confused..had me staring at the screen like ☹️ LMFAOO I WAS ACTUALLY BEFUDDLED. But after a few playthroughs it ends up being easy to understand which I am very thankful for. ALSO. Slay the Princess!! Another one I avoided for a while for..honestly idek why. But oh my GODDD I LOVE SLAY THE PRINCESS WOOO YAYYY 🎉 slay the princess honestly was such a crazy surreal experience idek how to describe it. It’s so awesome. It’s coming out on the Switch w a 200 dollar collectors addition thingy and oh my god. Bro. I am DEVASTATED at my lack of funds 😭😭 I actually have to put it out of my mind bc if I think abt it excessively I get really sad 💔 ANYWAYYYSS SHOUTOUT TO SLAY THE PRINCESS 🗣️🗣️ so wonderfully made, beautiful artwork, stunning music…omg. Also grotesque at times but in a way that’s just so fundamentally different and unique? If that makes sense? It’s all so meaningful and connected and they manage to express so many emotions throughout a playthrough. I’ve got every achievement and I’m so happy I gave it a shot :) OH. Also One Shot! One Shot is great…oh my goodness. Woaw. This is making me realize how overly skeptical I am about every game I ever purchase in the history of ever LMFAOO why am I so overly critical 💀 like why do I always have to mull it over for months smh 😭

22. Do you watch any other gamers?

As of right now, no. Not routinely, anyways. I used to be obsessed with watching YouTube game playthroughs as a kid, but I’m not really all that into it anymore. However! I will say that what got me into the Persona franchise back when I was a 5th grade child (?!?!??) is Kubz Scout’s playthrough of it on YouTube! I watched him tons as a kid (someone should’ve been monitoring my internet access for sure 💀) and I still watch some of his gaming videos every now and then. So. Shoutout to Kubz Scout’s for introducing me to my favorite game franchise everrr!! 🗣️🗣️ absolutely crazy that I was watching Persona playthroughs in elementary school though LMFAOO every time I think abt it I’m like … where were my parents at !! 😭

[alister312]

Do you have any Gregstophe headcanons that you haven't shared yet?

most certainly! I’ll be honest I forget very often what headcanons I have about them that I’ve shared and what I just feel like I have simply bc it’s something I have always understood to be inherent to Them. also, very often I think of headcanons that aren’t set in stone? they’re more little concepts I like to play around with for a while. they’ll either stick around in my head as “canon to me” or just become things I think are neat but feel no real attachment to or desire to explore further. this is why I tend to really like ask games bc it can give me prompts to think of new ones that might be good enough to stick around.

however I feel like u perhaps came here wanting a more concrete answer, anon, so a concept I have been pushing around my head lately is roadtrip headcanons 👀

for starters, this would be in the mercenary sort of phase of their life if they go down that path. while they for sure have many little safe houses and contacts all over the world (or, worst case scenario, last minute book a hotel), I think they’re more often than not on the road

if they have the ability, Gregory would much rather take a train so that they can both be involved with the mission planning process along the way, but a car is usually much more convenient (especially in the US)

they both drive (with how long of trips they take it’s impossible not to switch off). they both prefer when Gregory is the one driving though bc Christophe can be easily distracted since he finds long stretches of highway so tedious and he’s a much more active person than Gregory.

driver picks what they’re listening to though so Christophe knows the full soundtracks of many musicals entirely against his will

Gregory refuses to ever stop at roadside rest stops for food (too gross and too public for their line of work) so they go to a lot of interesting local cafes and diners. sometimes if it’s a place with really good food they’ll put it on their map so they can go back another time.

they also have actual physical maps for different countries. don’t wanna be easily tracked by a gps signal. Christophe also likes the feel of physically mapping out a route and Gregory likes to be a little pompous about like “I know how to find my way without technology 😏”

they’ve got various cars depending on where they’re at in the world but all of them are customized to have hollowed out seats (to store less than legal things) that fold down (in case they need to sleep in the car. Gregory hates when they do this bc it’s so cramped and uncomfortable but Christophe doesn’t mind bc they are forced to cuddle and it’s a good excuse for his touch starved but in denial about that self)

the biggest argument they always inevitably get into on the road is about having the windows down. Gregory hates having them down bc the wind messes with his hair but when they’re down is the only time Christophe is allowed to smoke in the car. they usually get into a battle of putting them down and back up again. Christophe installed an old handcrank window in one of their cars just so he could roll down the window without Gregory having the ability to put it back up and it was one of their bigger petty fights to date

[ikeucity]

who is ikeucity?

♡⸝⸝ so, you've stumbled into my little corner of the internet—welcome to the valley.

keep reading to learn a bit more about me.

♡⸝⸝ who am i?

i’m keuri, 23, living in the philippines, working full-time remotely. being a certified homebody, i’m not exactly avoiding social interaction like it’s the plague—I just prefer my own company. introverted as fuck, no real-life engene friends (as much as i'd love to have some). so, tumblr became my outlet for all the enhypen delusions and nsfw thoughts swirling in my head on the daily. outside of work which i actually enjoy doing (not me being a workaholic), i’m in a relationship and live with my partner. honestly, i relate to jay on a spiritual level—my love language is acts of service and gift-giving, and i’m always doing something for the people i love. (i swear he doesn't know how spoiled he is) he also knows that i write smut and is my first boyfriend who hadn't been weirded out by me liking enhypen), he's super supportive and i am very grateful. you’ll usually catch me cooking, cleaning, or yelling at my valorant teammates to plant the goddamn spike (because why is it so hard for people to listen?!). i’m not a hardcore gamer or anything, but i enjoy playing with my boyfriend and his friends—keeps things interesting. and when i’m not getting fucked over by my valo teammates, i’m knee-deep in my enhypen fantasies. i’m always jotting down new ideas, watching their videos, tiktok edits, or reading imagines. enhypen’s music is always my background soundtrack, and sometimes i swear i hear my neighbors blasting it too. i’ve honestly wondered if i have a fellow engene neighbor, but i’ve never had the nerve to actually find out (not after they had only if you say yes on repeat for days). i’ve lived here for 2 years and don’t know a single one of them, and i’m kinda okay with that. i’m also a huge anime fan—and i’m always down to try new things. whether it's a fresh anime, a wild fic idea, or something a little more… explicit, i’m all in.

♡⸝⸝ writing style?

let’s get this straight: i write what i want, and i don’t care what anyone else thinks about it. i’m willing to do a lot of things when it comes to writing, and i’ve got endless ideas, but my favorite? the forbidden trope. i live for the danger, the tension, the steamy “this-shouldn’t-happen-but-it’s-gonna-happen” vibe. don’t expect me to write what you want—if you don’t like it, feel free to fuck off. i won’t be adjusting for anyone’s preferences, so read at your discretion. if it’s not your thing? move along. i’m obsessed with slow burn—the kind that builds until you can barely stand it. my stories? expect a whole lot of smut, angst, and unresolved tension. i don’t take requests, but don’t worry, there’s always something in the works. i love multi-member stories, but i’ve got a ton of single-member ideas just waiting to be written.

♡⸝⸝ biases?

jake’s got my whole damn heart (the man is chef’s kiss), but i also love jungwon a little too fucking much. let’s be real though, i’m a sucker for all of them—but yeah, jake and jungwon? they own me.

♡⸝⸝ so, welcome to my chaotic, steamy world, where the fantasies never end, the smut's hotter than hell, and no one in my real life knows how deep this enhypen rabbit hole goes. hope you enjoy the ride, sweetheart.

[the-moon-loves-the-sea]

Weird things I’ve noticed about my dreams:

I’ve never seen my phone in one in spite of using it constantly.

I’m no stronger than I am irl but occasionally if I try really hard with my whole body I can fly. (I don’t get those easy flying dreams.)

There’s shifts in light and weather and times of day, but no air temperature changes. It’s always about as warm as it would be under the blankets.

If I make a decision I regret I can go back and try again, but I’m only aware I’m dreaming for that moment I decide to go back.

If I want to reexplore an area I’ve dreamed before, I think “I’ll go this way this time” without consciously processing that that means this is a dream.

(It’s like I’m telling myself a story and suspending not just disbelief but awareness of myself outside the story while I do.)

(I dream the same places repeatedly.)

I can taste, feel, smell and see, but not hear. I know what people are saying but there’s no actual audio.

But if I get woken from a dream or while falling into one, I hear music. I don’t know if that’s the background soundtrack of the dream or transitional music between waking and sleeping. (It’s usually the sort of thing I’d play on the radio while driving.)

I never actually believe anything bad will happen to me when big things like ax murderers and aliens show up but when I make a petty bad decision in a dream that shit worries me. Always glad to wake up and find I didn’t do that.

Tell me about yours?

[marengogo]

UGH!-5: JUNGKOO-GATE

Memories That Cannot Be Erased - by Sim Hee Jin  [The Glory, Pt.2 (Original Soundtrack from the Netflix Series)]

[Music is a very big part of my life and I’m MOSTLY INCAPABLE of writing without music, so I just thought I'd share what I am listening to while writing this]

–🐺–🐺–🐺–

I was going to just play the Sims, while watching youtubers reacting to “The Glory”, Anything BTS, or anything which my mind & soul might deem to be needed at the very present. Needed to feel something, what? I don’t quite know myself, maybe something that will help me finally carry on with my project? Maybe something that will make me feel happy for the time being, at this very moment? Or maybe just something that will make me feel like I can forget that there are so many thing I must remember, at least for one fucking day. Yeah, I was going to do all of that right at this very moment, and I still will, but now it will be after I’m done writing this. 

So I am here writing this because I couldn’t stop myself from doing so, because, AND HEADS-UP THIS IS ABOUT TO GET VERY GRAPHIC ✌🏾, when one is pressing to go to the toilet, they should. Trying to hold it in, is very bad for your system as a whole, same goes for throwing up or sneezing, or anything else which obviously your body has decided that “yeah no, this can’t stay here, it's gotta to go. Now”. So release myself I will, but like everything else in life EVERYTHING AND ANYTHING there is a place for such activity. When it comes to excrement, the toilet is such a place. When it comes to sneezing, opening your mouth widely into someone else’s face is not the place. When it comes to my feelings, with regards to a specific topic, my blog is one such place.

In real life, I am the type of person that cracks jokes to no end, because it makes me happy knowing that I was the person who was able to make you laugh; I love it, I almost crave it. I am the type of person who would choose friendship over romance, in the sense that if we are going to have a crush on the same human, I will step back and that is a fault, nothing to brag about, at all, because I don’t like unprovoked conflicts when your life has been a constant fight, after fight, after fucking fight, you will quickly try to veer clear of any, if you can and also I grew to be very selfish about my romantic ideal, in my head, if you really liked me like that, I shouldn’t have to compete with someone else also another fault, to a certain degree, so I’ll just keep being me, wait, and see; if we are not meant to be, I’ll be just as fine on my own, I got used to it. I am the type who is also so patient and nonchalant that, if you don’t know me, you will straight away peg me as the person you can easily walk all over, if you do know me, you will be carefully looking for ways to intelligently tell me anything, and if you love me friend or lover you know you can just come at me and we will get at it, whatever “it” may be.

Out of the many things that I am not, forgetful is one. I will remember anything: trivial, important, bad, good, numbers, shapes of clouds, you name it; I will remember it AND WHAT A FUCKING NIGHTMARE THAT IS and let me tell you, a memory like that is usually the product of a well trained self-defense mechanism process, so also nothing to brag about. I am not a person who can sit and watch seemingly innocent people take an unwarranted beating, be it physical or emotional, because I was once there myself and I wished someone else stood up for me. I am not a saint, through life experience I morphed myself into something far from actually, so I will never truly judge you, unless you ask me to, and anything else will always just be a deliberate relying of my opinion, in my blog.

So what does any of this have to do with Jikook? Hmmm … yesterday’s live, heavily highlighted how people like me, or rather, people who are not like a certain demographic in this fandom, are often not given the benefit of the doubt. It’s all so fucking guilty until proven innocent. It reminded me just how jarringly white and black many seem to be when it comes to Jikook’s relationship in general and as the gray-citizen that I am, it is alway so criminally mind-blowing that I usually have no words and just leave it at that unless being otherwise prompted or if I see someone I care about being pestered. 

Yesterday however, it specifically made me think about JK. I don’t think I’ve ever said this anywhere in my blog but I heavily relate to JK in his way of thinking, and perhaps also feeling soulwise I think I might be closer to Yoongi, but we are about to find out soon enough, which is probably why I like JM so much 😜😜😜. Because, people such as myself and JK tend to either joke or stay calm as their MO, we usually don’t speak about important things with people we don’t know/connect with, and when we do, it might look so out of nowhere, it will end up feeling “uncharacteristic” hence sounding weird, forced and scary 👻 at times.

Out of all that, there is one particular aspect I feel like JK and I have in common, which is the fact that you can't tell me what to do, at all. That is your quickest way to win a ticket at my “I think not, in fact, I will definitely find a way to NOT do what you just told me you want me to do” Show 🤡. The one very big difference I have with JK, however, is that his parents seem to have been the child's personal decisions supportive-type, whereas alas mine were not. So even though in my formative years I was a bit of a loose cannon and did everything I wanted, it was always just as long as it didn’t involve my parents. They had/have working on it, therapy, is a wonderful thing the strongest hold on me. But so … who has a hold on JK? Does anyone even have a hold on him? 

Hobi has expressed how JK is “handsome, but doesn't listen”. Yoongi has expressed how “JK might be a genius but that doesn't mean he doesn't work hard at what he does”. JM has expressed how “JK is different behind the cameras, he is actually cute, but also has a sort of manliness to himself”. Namjoon has expressed how “even though every member of BTS is important, there is no replacement for Jungkook”. Tae has expressed that “JK is the type of person who has outstanding basic talent”. Jin has expressed, with his caring actions towards JK, how even though JK is formidable, he is still a young man in a big-big world.

Very stubborn. Impossibly talented. Regrettably young.

  That is what I have gathered of JK, thus far. From what we’ve been allowed to experience through footage, from what the members have conveyed when talking about him and from JK’s “art/work” itself as fans. The one person who hasn’t had a problem in often pegging him as cute is JM. Namjoon has time and again pointed out how JK is a softie with the body of a rock, yes, but JM always attempts to point out the fact that JK in reality is just a big ball of softness, but he is then quickly “silenced” when instantly confronted with the fact that he is the “resident mochi” … we won’t get into that particular monicker today so he just ends up agreeing 😬. Why am I pointing this out? Do I think JM controls JK? … 😂😂😭😭 … Please 😑, if they are in a relationship, JM would be a lover not a ruler.

JM has a very big influence on some of the final decisions he makes, I honestly do believe that, but JK is first and foremost his own “unique” person, who however, for at least a good 10 years, had no other choice but to listen to a whole lot of other people. Control is a very big aspect of my life: I literally FEAR losing it. Reason why I am scared of trying sleeping pills, reason why I’m scared of falling asleep while on plane, reason why I don’t do drugs, but at the same time reason why UNFORTUNATELY I drink an unhealthy amount, ever since I figured out that I always remember everything i’ve done and I that I do get loose just enough not to lose myself. Basically, the second I feel like someone is trying to take “control away” from me and if I am in a position where I can I lash. 

And by that I don’t mean that Imma scratch you obviously, just means that within 3 second of the happening I would have already formulated plan A-Z in order for me to either regain the control I lost, or find ways to soothe me and give me the apparent comfort I need to feel like I have regained some sort of control I am a master at self-soothing. At that very moment, what is paramount, is knowing that from that moment on, every single decision made involving me would be made by myself and myself only. Meaning that, at that very moment, if you saw me being undecided between broccoli and kale juice, and you kindly offered your opinion, without me asking, I would most certainly feel the sudden craving for a vanilla ice-cream cone instead.

As an introvert I’ve often found comfort within my room. Is where I’ve created most of my projects, where I’ve taught myself a whole language, where I was safe from bullying, where I could allow myself to dream, where I am 100% in control. When I’m in comfort zone, I tend to not think much about what I do, even if 85.13% of the times what I do will not make sense to anybody and has made people call me “crazy”, at that moment, it made sense to me, because i decided to it, so I would quite frankly, not give a fuck. Anyways, me and my room are the main reason for the struggle people I love have when I rather stay home than go for a day out. Once I am out, I’m the light of the party; just gotta get me there 😬. 

As it just so happens, JK seems to have found one of his comfort zone in “talking” to ARMY. He maybe has an excuse to escape from whatever it is that he actually needs to be doing/thinking of, while at the same time he shows ARMY that he is alive: WIN-WIN. Reason why he drinks with us, he entertains us, does his laundry with us, eats with you, WEVERSE-living might be providing JK with a way for him to momentarily gain control while at the same time conceding it because he is fulfilling his role as idol, he is promoting things , etc without causing any causing much of any rifts in his comfort zone. So when people ask him not to drink, to go to bed, whatever it is, if it goes against what he was there for, do not for a second think he will do any of it; because in that very moment we are most likely just a part of his well constructed comfort zone.

So this should go without saying, but it is clearly NOT sticking with some people out there. When you are looking to get some reaction from Jikook as a couple, something that will give you the fix you need for the day, week, whatever, please kindly be reminded that not only their relationship isn’t confirmed, but it is also not a paid subscription show, so they don’t owe you shit. JK is not touching JM the way you want him to? JM is not with JK in the palaces you want him to? Jikook are not doing lives the times you want them to? It is all very sad and all but it also all very much sounds to me like you problem. Thus, please be reminded that there are MANY DIFFERENT TYPES of people on this sphere, and as it is hard enough to live a life as them, as me, as JK, as JM, as you, as anybody, a little bit of consideration, and “thinking before you speak” goes a bloody ass long way. 

Happy Easter, stay safe 🫰🏾💜

Always respectfully yours,

Marengo.

[koravelliumavast]

the best part of any adaptation isn’t the voice acting or the animation but rather the soundtrack and sound design. a kinda messy ramble.

first off i have no skin in the game. i’m not like a music major or anything so we’re not getting technical here. i did do band for 8 years however so there’s that.

now it doesn’t matter what the media is- movies and shows sound empty without their soundtracks. it adds an element to them that invokes emotions even if we don’t recognize it at first.

this is mainly because music is something universal that transcends language barriers. music is a universal experience. since before recorded history people have been using music to tell and enhance stories no matter the culture music is inherent in our lives.

and when you’re watching a show it’s no different. music plays a big role in our subconscious understanding and processing of the media. scenes without any music in them sound empty. as if they’re missing something. (because they are) and when there are scenes without music they are usually used for effect or emphasis to show the depth of a situation further.

one of my favorite recent examples of this is how after sukuna defeats mahoraga there’s not any music played again (until specialz) but the rest of the episode was full of the OST. just emphasizing how much that fucked up yuji which is another thing music does well with invoking emotionality. most any time i hear malevolent shrines theme- I literally get chills just from the whole way it’s orchestrated. (if you haven’t listened to it by itself i highly recommend it)

but it’s not just the soundtracks that do that. pairing it with the animation add just another sense of dread and urgency to the whole thing. like we know this is a bad scenario already. but the music layers onto that sensation even more. soundtracks change the way we see shows. watch a scene without the sound on and then watch it again with the sound on and there’s a big difference. or read the same scene. the soundtracks add depth.

often times as well, soundtracks tell their own story. sometimes characters have a very specific motif that is tied to them and it can be found repeatedly across the songs. sometimes they’re even respondent to the characters themselves.

my favorite example here is in trigun stampedes ost. knives’s piano will always overtake a song while vash’s themes tend to be more subtle and let the other themes shine above his own. and the twins are like that too. vash wants to coexist with humans- knives believed it’s impossible. the stampede ost also has its own story to it. as it progresses it gets further away from that “westerny” sound and starts to get more orchestral and cinematic

and that’s because music tells a story. this isn’t just evident in anime either. the hunger games soundtrack is very brass and drum heavy- sounds that are typically associated best with military strength and revolution and in thg they overthrow the government. despite it not having the same composers throughout the series- harry potters soundtrack gets darker throughout to reflect the tone of the series as a whole as it gets darker and more deadly. jurassic parks classic theme is very awestriking and instills a sense of wonder in a person- they cloned dinosaurs. that is a very awe inspiring thing to see. there are more examples but you get it.

of course. soundtracks aren’t the only thing that add depth to media- that’s what sound design is for. a gunslinging show wouldn’t be the same if there wasn’t a rumbling sound whenever there was a gunshot. the eagle screech is actually from a red-tailed hawk. these elements are often overlooked as well, since they stimulate our subconscious enjoyment of media without us really processing them because that’s what they’re there to do. enhance the experience of the show itself and make it feel more realistic

if someone’s wearing heels and walking on a tile floor and it’s clearly shown- you’ll hear a clacking sound because that’s what heels SOUND like on tile irl. it wouldn’t be silent. these are things our brains have learned to just process but not call big attention to, which leads people to often times just pass up the enhancements sound design adds to a series. but without those it would be empty and feel wrong. like something was missing. because it is.