#the thing that prompted this post was my boyfriend telling me he remembered having the same kind of kids cold medicine that i did

[brindlestorm]

One of the worst things about having memory problems (for me at least) is when you have a totally mundane memory about something that somehow manage to stick with you for so long and someone says “that was never a thing”, so you spend months or years thinking it’s not real and you just made it up until someone else comes along and says “yeah I totally remember [x] thing, loved/hated that stuff growing up”.

And then suddenly you have validation that its real so you start questioning everything else people told you wasn’t real and leads to more and more anxiety as your world kind of crumbles without actually falling apart if that makes sense.

[kleewie]

i don’t wanna keep secrets just to keep you (and i)

summary: dating tip? just don't. for celebrities, romantic relationships are absolutely forbidden. the slightest hint of one could ruin your career. but are you even listening to the lecture? doubt it, 'cause you're doing the complete opposite. (alternatively, a celebrity au featuring secret relationships.)

→ featuring: childe, & ayato (you can really tell who my faves are)

→ warnings: angst, hurt/comfort, slight cursing, established relationship, mentions of alcohol and drinking, tension, actual cursing, unreliable reader pov, gender-neutral reader (i apologize if i missed things, i haven't proofread it yet)

→ a/n: so, hi! long time no see? i was pretty stressed with college and well, i'm back! i began writing this last year and finally got the courage to finish it. but here it is and i hope you enjoy it :> please let me know if you like it <3 it really makes my day!

credits to @dumplingsjinson for the prompts!

beware, lengthy post ahead! more under the cut!

the debut.

“forbidden?” you repeat.

“absolutely forbidden!” your manager says. “a rookie with no fanbase? a scandal will ruin your reputation! you're absolutely forbidden from dating anyone.”

you sigh. he's being too overdramatic.

you will never be in a relationship, you're absolutely sure. how can you? with no time for yourself as it is, dating someone with the limited hours you already have sounds impractical.

besides, you're too busy training and practicing for auditions.

remembering it now, you want to laugh.

i told you so, your thoughts chastise.

god, you should've listened.

childe, the actor

“that's a wrap!” the director cheers.

your eyes glisten as you hold back tears. it's embarrassing, you think. so damn embarrassing.

you've been repeating the same kissing scene multiple times now. obviously, the director cheers for finally completing the take and not because you did a good job.

childe pats your back. “you did great,” he says, with a smile.

but you know the gesture so goddamn well. the same nonchalant cold grin he throws at everyone that he now directs at you? oh, he's angry alright.

for what reason? who knows. you're too busy wallowing in self-despair over how terrible your acting is.

the scene is supposedly simple. it involves the second lead, who happens to be you, confessing their love to the leading man, resulting to a spontaneous kiss.

yet, you're fumbling over the lines, acting so out of character, tripping over set, incorrectly initiating the kiss at awkward angles—the whole time-wasting squander.

“what's going on?” childe eventually asks, once he arrives at your shared apartment. his bag drops to the floor with a flop. “you're acting strange. the entire crew sees it, i see it, the director sees it—what if he decides to fire you? what will you do then?”

you swallow dryly. you left the set early hoping childe's hectic schedule prompted him to forget the whole issue. yet, here he is finally bringing up the conversation after what feels like a month's worth of tension.

as you sit on the sofa chair, your fingers massage the bridge of your nose. breathe in, breathe out. you repeat. don't cry. you try to calm yourself down as a sob tries to break through.

eight months, you've been a couple.

but, there are some things you're afraid to say.

each year, the biggest tabloid newspaper in the country releases an article on celebrity dating scandals. a month ago they released one single page article about a popular actor dating a newbie actress. it barely had any juicy details, just a simple paragraph of a somebody dating a nobody.

yet, it did not end well for them. and you're terrified; for when it could happen to you.

you imagine it. dozens of messages and multiple missed phone calls on your cell as your name becomes the next talk of the town. the headline reads: revealed! a nobody actress, the second-lead from the northland bank saga currently dates the nation's boyfriend, childe!

it terrifies you. you could lose your job. lose what you love doing the most. and you could get tossed aside like an old sweater under someone's bed, left to rot and decompose.

so, yes. you hesitated earlier at set because you don't want anyone to connect the dots. to look at the kiss between you two and notice something amiss. to speculate that there's more to your relationship than what meets the eye. to realize you look at him as more than a co-star. to see how much you're in love with him. to realize the both of you are dating.

“it's not easy.” you say, releasing a sigh.

two years you've been in the business. rookies barely get any roles as it is. being in a well-received rendition of an old romance drama is a once in a blue moon opportunity and you can't risk someone finding out about your relationship.

“camera shy? no—you've kissed heaps of actors for that school drama.”

you mumble, “two people aren't heaps of actors, tartaglia.”

“then what is the problem?”

childe saunters to where you sit. he leans towards you and presses his palm on the head of the sofa, trapping your body between his and the chair. childe's eyes meet yours and you instantly look away.

he knows you well enough to comprehend that look on your face. the way you hide your clammy hands behind you, the manner of your eyes staring only at your feet, how your body tucks itself into the corner of the seat.

“me?” childe whispers.

he places a hand under your jaw. his thumb softly pushes your chin upwards so your eyes meet his.

“why?” he pleads.

“you won't understand.”

“i will if you tell me,” he says, holding your gaze. seeing how you relentlessly persist on keeping your mouth shut, he shakes his head. “oh, please tell me.”

you hesitate. you tell him and then what?

you could say: hey, childe! i'm afraid of our relationship being discovered. i'll be hated by your fans. you'll be constantly drained by my crying and whining. your reputation would take a hit regardless of how popular you are and—and then he'll finally realize how exhausting and annoying it is being with you.

your self-deprecation loves to pull you deeper into its sapping embrace. you're nothing, it mouths. childe would dump you and find some other actor or actress to date. god. it would be so easy. with his popularity, good looks, and charming personality, he'd find a better and talented rising-star the moment he chucks you out the front door.

so, you shake your head firmly.

“tell me, please.” he whispers.

you cross your arms, and look away.

“are you sick?”

you shake your head.

“somebody hurting you on set?”

again, you shake your head.

childe pauses, “...do you have feelings for someone else?”

“no!”

“then what is the damn problem?”

“nothing!” you exasperate, furrowing your brows together.

childe takes your reluctance as distrust and it ignites his irritation. do you not trust him? is he that insignificant to you? what are you hiding? hell, did you fall for the main lead of the show, zhongli? or do you not love him anymore? god, he can feel himself suffocate in resentment.

is he so unimportant that you'd prefer to keep the problem to yourself? it makes his blood boil; how he'd do anything for you, but you'd rather keep it to yourself and suffer alone.

“tell me.” childe scowls as he watches your lips quiver.

you keep your mouth firmly shut.

“fine, hold your tongue.” he sneers, “i understand. i really do, baby. it's not about the cameras, the flashing lights, the audience.”

childe brushes his lips against yours, “you wouldn’t kiss me like that in public, though, would you?” he releases his hold on your chin and his sharp eyes meet yours. “it’s only behind closed doors when you care to act like we’re each other’s.”

with a hooded jacket in one hand and a face mask in another, childe swiftly leaves the apartment with a slam of a door.

leaving you alone with your wretched thoughts.

more under the cut!

despite walking out the flat hours ago, childe still reverberates jealousy and anger; pure envy at how normal you act around everyone else yet, around him you're too guarded; and angry at himself for saying those awful words to your face.

he smacks his forehead on the steering wheel. childe acknowledges how childish he's been acting. you aren't ready to talk, and he shouldn't be forcing you to speak out your difficulties.

surely, the stress is piling up on you. he knows the hours you've been working on set, memorizing lines, practicing moves—again, he thumps his head on the wheel.

stupid, he curses. control your damn temper next time.

he reaches for the box of blueberry cheesecake on the front passenger seat. subconsciously, he drove two hours (and back) to the bakery's main branch as its side branches were sold out of your favorite cake. and he knows how much you love the pastry.

however, his body slouches in the parked car outside the apartment. the long drive works miracles with his anger, but the courage to actually walk inside and apologize never comes.

the ding of a text draws his attention. ‘go inside and beg for forgiveness, brat.’ yoimiya, a fellow actress from the same company as him, says. the woman is always in the loop and well-informed.

a shiver goes down his spine. if you told yoimiya about the argument, he's absolutely sure you're furious. you'd only speak to her as a last-ditch effort; knowing her personality she'd pummel him to bits while you watch.

as a result, he stands inside the apartment, one hand knocking on your bedroom door. however, instead of tasting blood, he hears your stifled sobs. the abrupt sound convinces him to turn the knob and enter the room.

the illumination from the hallway brightens the bedroom, shining a bit of light on your face. you lay on the bed with your knees to your chest, with a blanket over your waist. your reddened cheeks and tear-stained eyes makes his stomach churn.

“please don't cry, baby.” childe cooes, kneeling by your bedside. he leans over you, his fingers gently grip your cheeks. “i'm so sorry.”

the sudden apology sprouts pools from your eyes. his thumbs brush the water off your face and softly says, “i shouldn't have said—please, don't cry. it's my fault for taking my anger out on you.”

“i'm afraid of losing you,” you whimper. “if they find out—oh god—they'll tear me apart. i'm nothing compared to you. i'd lose everything. i might even lose you—”

“never, i will never leave you. no matter what happens,” childe interjects.

you furrow your brows, sobbing. “i'm no one—too difficult,” you hiccup. “you'll throw me away. i'm too whiny and too draining. if they find out... you'll see all the comments about how ugly—”

“breathe, baby.” he settles himself on your bed and softly places you on his lap. “you're gorgeous. you're not draining, and frankly, you're cute when you whine.”

you bury your face into his neck and continue, “i'm serious, childe. you'll get exhausted. the articles will talk about you too!”

“articles, mhm. they're just articles.” he hums.

irritation begins to set in. was he this clueless? you release another sob, “they're not just articles. they'll nitpick every single thing you do! oh—look at this newbie getting together with childe. oh, they suck at acting! why is childe even—”

childe gently places his palm on your neck, coaxing you to meet his gaze. “are you talking about the tabloid from last month?”

you sigh, “what else am i talking about?” and instantly you sense his laughter resonate. “are you laughing?”

“you're adorable, baby.” he breathes, nuzzling his face on your neck.

“you're making fun of me! what the hell, childe?”

he releases a sigh, pausing his laughter. “the tabloids every month. they're paid. companies pay them to talk about their idols for publicity.”

your face contorts into confusion, “who would willingly—they talked about lumine all month because of the article! you know she's my favorite actress. why would they willingly put her on the spotlight like that?”

“publicity, baby.”

you shake your head, “it makes no sense.”

“oh, it does.” childe hums. “of course, they'd seek permission first. it boosted views for her drama, didn't it? lumine did say she got extra for the views and switched apartments.”

“yeah, wait—you knew this whole time and didn't bother to tell me?”

he chuckles, “that's what you get for keeping these things to yourself for a month.” he squeezes the bridge of your nose.

“you're terrible.”

“love you too, baby.” he teases, “and besides, if a tabloid threatened to do something—” his thumb gently traces the skin around your neck. “—i'll keep you safe.”

a soft smile graces your features. “...i'm just not ready for anyone to find out. yet, anyway.”

childe hums, “we'll do it on your terms, okay? whenever you're ready.”

“sure, i guess you can keep me for a while longer. until you throw me away and find the next rookie to—”

childe's soft laughter sparks a flutter in your stomach. he would never do such a thing. the moment he first laid his eyes on you on set, heard your beautiful laugh between takes, listened to your jokes while practicing lines, and god, seen your angelic smile? the things he would do to keep you as his.

“never.” a cheeky grin appears on his lips, “i'll take care of you.”

bonus: five years later

your phone rings. the vibration continues on and off, signaling multiple inbox messages. you swipe your phone to see texts from several of your close friends.

‘i know you told me you were okay with it, but i didn't think he'd try to do it so soon. i tried but he's too hardheaded.’ says yoimiya.

‘congratulations! when's the wedding? i'm kidding. don't kill childe.’ says thoma, an actor from your same company.

‘sorrows, sorrows, prayers.’ says venti, your current co-star.

you even receive a message from childe himself.

‘good morning, baby. i'm completely fault-free. simply honoring your wishes as a devoted fiancé should.’

attached to a message was a link to a video entitled: please don't kill me honey.

you click the link.

the video's blurry, as if taken by a cellphone. you recognize thoma as the person videoing the whole scene, as he turns the camera to face him before focusing it on a woman—seemingly a fan of childe. she wears merch from his most recent drama.

a fan goes on stage chosen by a random lottery draw. the said fan wins the chance to interview childe, who was the guest of the day for talk show, and ask one question.

the girl hastily walks on stage, holding a microphone given by staff.

“um. hello, childe!”

the audience screams as the huge video screen focuses on your lover's face. he waves a quick ‘hello’ and the crowd yells louder.

the girl hesitates, “are you dating anyone right now?”

childe twists the microphone in his hands. “hm? right now... i'm not dating anyone.”

the crows sighs in relief, utterly happy their favorite leading actor continues to be single.

but you see the outline of a smirk flashing on his face, and you instantly know there's a deeper meaning to that sentence. “but, it's difficult to say... since we're not really dating as of the moment.”

quietly, you hear the voice of yoimiya whispering, “don't do it.” the camera now focusing on her, trying to get herself on stage. thoma flips the camera around to face it on himself, waving a hello, apparently enjoying the drama. he then focuses the camera on the wide screen, featuring childe's face.

to add mayhem into the mix, childe continues, “i don't think being engaged to your partner falls under dating. we're way past that.”

the interview ends with the audience screaming their lungs out in disbelief, while childe's laugh resonates the whole auditorium.

ayato, company director

“oh, them?” ayato's steady gaze meet yours, pressing his lips in a tight-lipped smile. “they're a friend of mine.”

friend. it echoes in your mind, repeating incessantly. friend. friend. friend.

dread creeps into the pit of your stomach akin to a quick flick of a lighter. after all this time, your stomach lurches. is that all he thinks of you?

god, you need a drink.

the businessmen before you smile, prompting you to return the favor. subsequently, you humbly introduce yourself as just an ‘actor in the industry’. and they laugh. of course they do.

who wouldn't know you? a multi award-winning movie and television star with piles of nominations. so modest, they say. so kind, they praise. you grin, the smile not reaching your eyes, thanking them for their compliments.

but you're so accustomed to their fake smiles, ingenuine flattery, and sweet talk; you never truly know what's actually honest and real—eyes flickering to your azure-haired partner—no, who's honest and real.

you swallow the thought down.

as if aware of the invisible daggers thrown his way, ayato's gaze meets yours. his lips are pressed firmly together, eyes devoid of warmth.

not now, his expression conveys.

you narrow your own eyes, irritation burning through your corneas. as much as you want to start an argument in front of his investors, you agree to his silent insistence. after all it's his gala; one he's tirelessly prepared for over several months.

so you bite your tongue and smile: one honed by years of acting—fake yet strangely genuine.

it's not strong enough. you say, sipping wine with shaky hands. earlier, you left ayato to his fellow businessmen using the excuse of needing a bathroom break, a reason to which he obliged.

you stare at the elaborate party before you, wishing you could go home. the gala swiftly dissolved your social battery, aided by forced mingling and bitterness. a friend, your consciousness repeats. always a friend. so you sit on a chair by the wall, sipping drinks like water.

suddenly, the hairs of your neck stand on end. you sense his presence behind you, prompting a glance through your peripheral vision.

“careful, darling.” ayato's says, tone smooth yet laced with warning. “i'd rather not have you collapsing. your lovely face wouldn't compliment these filthy floors.”

you tense immediately, shoulders stiffening. “reverting back to pet names, i see?”

ayato's hand now rests on your shoulder, his thumb brushing your soft skin. “what seems to be the issue? i doubt it's due to the eight glasses of wine you've consumed in one sitting.”

you roll your tongue in your mouth, practicing the words. let's break up. you bite your tongue. let's see other people. besides, he wouldn't care would he? it's not as if he's been acknowledging you as someone he's been dating, has he? hiding your relationship from his business partners is one thing, but concealing it from closest friends? his family? that's an entirely different matter altogether.

a friend, he says to his business partners.

a star from the company, he answers to his closest friends.

a companion, he whispers to his family.

you're sick and tired of it. all of it.

raising the wineglass to your lips, you drown the drink in one go. you raise two fingers signaling the waiter for another drink.

ayato sighs and you think you feel his hand on your neck tighten, ever so slightly. “you've reached your limit with wine, dear.”

soon, the waiter arrives with three more glasses on his tray. ayato's disapproving glare compels the waiter to scurry across the ballroom floor, steering clear of you.

you click your tongue and begin, “who says so?”

“your fiancé,” he mutters, voice dripping with venom.

you immediately scoff. “sure. for your sake, i'll pretend you mentioned that earlier.”

before ayato could retort, the presence of another individual calls his attention; his younger sister, ayaka.

“brother, the sangonomiya heir's requesting your presence.”

he sighs, irritation etching his features. yet, you blink, catching a subtle shift in his expression—seemingly twisting from annoyance to something resembling relief at the mention of sangonomiya's name.

you swallow the bitter thought.

“watch them for me, could you? i'd rather not have them find a server willing to disobey my instructions and serve them a drink,” ayato whispers, his tone betraying a hint of tension that doesn't go unnoticed.

ayaka nods. her consent prompts the older brother to depart, heading towards the misty rose-pink heir who stands at the opposite side of the ballroom.

ayaka says the inevitable, “you should let him know it bothers you.”

“...i'm not sure what you're referring to.”

her gaze follows yours, observing the giggling and cheerful countenances of the kamisato and sangonomiya heirs. they seem to be enjoying their time together. as always, you remark.

“they're just close friends, you know.”

you click your tongue. “like how him and i are just friends?”

ayaka sighs, understanding your implication. “you know what i mean.”

sangonomiya's hand on your partner's shoulder elicits an exasperated sigh from you. “thoma told me they were to be married if i wasn't here.”

“the man always running his mouth—” she takes a calming breath before continuing, “—but brother's very fond of you. i'm his sister, i should know.”

“then how come after dating him for five years, he still calls me his friend.” you pause, a hand sliding into the right pocket of your outfit. you absentmindedly play with the engagement ring inside. “i'm his fiancé, aren't i?”

“he has his reasons. petty reasons.”

you bite your tongue. or he's embarrassed of you.

you met the kamisato company heir two years after your debut as an idol. as you shifted towards acting, you developed a close relationship with his sister, a seasoned actress from the same company. eventually, she became the bridge that strengthened the bond between the two of you.

you dedicated yourself nonstop, evolving from a rookie actor to a multiple-nominee and winning star; all in the pursuit of being able to openly show off your relationship with ayato without it tarnishing your reputation.

however, when you're prepared to finally reveal your relationship, he isn't.

and it leaves you wondering, is there someone else?

you mean, you're hesitant to doubt the love of your life. but considering he's kept your relationship a secret from everyone for years, it's obvious he's adept at keeping things hidden.

even from you.

and the thought sours your mood.

excusing yourself once more to use the restroom, using the premise of consuming ten glasses of wine, you bid adieu to your favorite kamisato (at the moment). you instead head towards a secluded balcony away from prying eyes.

you stare at the garden below. your eyes quickly blink back the tears threatening to fall. not now, you hiss. don't do this to me, not right now.

“i assumed you would have retreated to your room by this point.” his voice murmurs, unnervingly composed.

you turn around to see your partner holding a glass of wine. his features remain blank, inscrutable.

maybe it's because of all the wine you've been drinking. you can't seem to tell between what's real or not.

“what did you discuss with kokomi?”

“i wasn't aware you were both on a first name basis.”

“answer the question.”

he smiles, “business as always.”

you huff and wrap your hands around your arms. “of course. just business.”

ayato immediately picks up the anger in your tone. he lays his palm on your forearm, gently pulling you towards him. “look at me,” he pleads, with a subtle trace of irritation in his voice.

you turn to look at his face, eyes glaring.

“i felt your glares the entire night.” he begins.

you shrug, smiling innocently. “...what ever do you mean?”

“don't toy with me, darling.”

as he enunciates his answer, it's as if the final thread of your patience snaps. does he still continue to feign innocence and lie to your face?

last month he proposed and you were overjoyed. you then expected a shift in your relationship; the final unveiling of your engagement to the public. you gave him your permission, a definitive “i'm ready for everyone to know.”

yet thirty days later the engagement remains concealed leaving only a few of his friends (thoma) and a few family members (ayaka) knowing about your updated relationship.

if it was the ayato from two years ago, he would be delighted—ecstatic even—to reveal the truth. he might have used the gala today as an avenue to scream to the world, this person and i are in love.

but he didn't.

so the weight of your feelings began to drag you down; it almost feels suffocating in a way. as if a ribbon labeled, he's ashamed, tightly winds around your insides, intricately tying them all together into a sophisticated bow sowing distrust whispering; he's hiding something.

your suspicions, coupled with his frequent visits this month to the sangonomiya estate, fueled your frustration until it erupted. if only he ceased pretending innocent, perhaps you would able to smile through the whole facade.

if only he didn't ask.

“i'm not naive. if you developed feelings for kokomi then you shouldn't have proposed.” you snap. “was it out of pity? did you feel so damn guilty that you chose to go through with the engagement instead of being honest about your feelings?”

ayato furrows his brows, mouth tightening in anger. “what are you talking about? i discuss private affairs with kokomi. business affairs.”

you laugh; one infused with irritation and disbelief. “don't tell me then. keep your stupid secrets.”

“do you want me to jot down a damn list detailing every single thing i do in a day?” he growls. “i won't divulge company secrets just because you feel like throwing a tantrum.”

your hands drift to the tie around his neck, tugging the crooked tie straight. “no. go ahead and keep your secrets.” you pause and roll the words with your tongue, “you're clearly very good at keeping secrets. you’ve kept me—us—as a secret for so long, so of course you’d be good at keeping fucking secrets.”

anger flares across his face. “you desired our relationship to remain a secret, and i respected your wishes.” he sneers, “i wanted to let the damn world know how much i'm in love with you yet, it was the opposite of what you desired.”

ayato releases his grip on you and strides back into the ballroom, but he halts right at the door to the balcony. “so don't dictate when i should reveal the truth simply because you've grown sick and tired of keeping me as your dirty, little secret.”

he finally departs; and you stay, tears pooling, with a profound ache in your heart.

ayato waltzes around the room in a nonchalant dance; yes, good to see you. he lies. how's business? he couldn't care less. enjoy the party! no, he wants everyone in the damn room to feel his wrath.

although he yearns to set the entire ballroom ablaze, ending the party prematurely would be ill-manned of him. so, ayato continues being a gracious and honorable host.

but he feels hollow. he envisions himself freezing the entire room in an icy gust, everyone turning into statues. he wants to sprint back into your arms and plead for you to listen.

he doesn't understand what came over him. why he lost his temper like that. typically, he'd manage your outbursts with composure and understanding. what happened? he doesn't know.

he attributes his outburst to the mounting pressure. the chronic lack of sleep and continuous exhaustion coming from his title as heir. perhaps it's the truth gnawing his skin; despite his powerful position atop the company, it can easily be ripped away with the flick of a wrist.

instead of spending time with his fiancé—he doesn't know if he still deserves to call you that, you probably threw away his ring the second he left the balcony—yet here he is, engaged in conversations with business associates he cares little about.

“brother?” ayaka calls. she finds him leaning against a railing of stairs. “i closed off the gardens.”

ayato swallows. he last saw you sneaking towards the grounds. “they're still on the grass?”

“yes.”

“they'll catch a cold.”

“they will.”

he glances at his sister. “they think i'm unfaithful.”

“i know,” she says matter-of-factly. “have you offered them any evidence to convince them otherwise?”

ayato stays silent.

“i know you care about them, brother.” ayaka sighs, “however, surprising them with a specially crafted ring and being petty when your entire relationship is at stake may not be the wisest move.”

he sighs.

“most especially if they suspect that your frequent visits to the sangonomiya manor are fueled by romantic feelings for its heiress, and not for their own wedding ring.”

after a while, ayato spots you lying on the grass in a starfish formation, having finally swallowed his pride. his eyes glaze over your features: red eyes, cheeks marked with tear stains, and an exhausted expression.

“can we talk?” he begins.

you spare a quick glance before turning your attention back to the night sky. “there's not much to talk about.”

“i'm not cheating,” he asserts.

“i know.”

“do you know, or have you resigned yourself to not knowing?”

“hm,” you hum. “a part of me entertains the thought of you cheating. yet an even smaller part absolutely knows that if you were truly cheating, you'd be more discreet. who, in their right mind, would inform thoma that you visited her manor?”

he chuckles, a laughter-less sound escapes him. “i understand i've been secretive. you have every right to assume i'm up to something indecent. but i have my reasons.” ayato confesses, kneeling beside your body. he places his hand inside his suit pocket, pulling up a black small box.

you instantly sit up. “you're horrible,” you cough, eyes widening as he opens the box to show a ring. “this entire time you were—god.”

“i placed a special order,” he mumbles. “i visited each day to ensure it was flawless, right down to the smallest details.”

“i'm so sorry.”

“don't be, love.” he breathes, “you had your reasons, and i was insistent on keeping it a surprise.”

relief floods your features. “good,” you whisper before tears well in your eyes.

the sound of your sobs breaks his heart. he immediately wraps his arms around you, brushing his lips on your cheeks.

“i'm sorry, darling,” he murmurs, kissing the skin above your brow. “i'm sorry for worrying you.”

“goddamn sadistic,” you sob. “you knew i was freaking out, but you just watched!”

he grins, “i have to admit, you look cute when you're jealous.”

a groan escapes you. “don't make me throw away both rings.”

“is that so? i should've ordered twenty spares.”

“no.” you scold.

“oh? look at my darling, so jealous,” he smirks, nuzzling his face into your neck. you then feel his lips press into a straight line. “you're not something i would ever try to hide. i would never be ashamed of our relationship.”

you laugh, “prove it.”

your smile faces seeing the smirk on his face. in that exact moment, you know that kamisato ayato, the preposterous god in human flesh, plans to do something grand and explosive to prove you otherwise.

“do not.” you begin, “we've talked about this. you cannot—you absolutely will not bribe the government to declare our wedding date as a national holiday!”

bonus: ten minutes before the clash

“is it getting warm in here, or am i sensing the intense gaze of your loving fiancé on me?” kokomi laughs, sipping a glass of champagne.

ayato takes a peek, and he chuckles upon seeing your irritated and jealous expression. “they certainly are.”

“please do not involve me in your lovers' quarrels. everyone knows we're just close friends.”

“they do.”

“have you told them?”

“...it may have slipped past my mind.”

kokomi shakes her head. “sadistic.” she slips a black box into his palm. “clear it up. i do not want to be murdered by your future partner.”

ayato glances at you from across the room as you engage a conversation with his sister. “mhm, i could, but their jealous expression is too endearing.”

“sadistic,” she repeats. “absolutely sadistic.”

he chuckles.

“also, kazuha mentioned that you've been referring to them as your companion. correct that.” she continues, “and stop calling them your friend!”

“they asked me to when we started dating.”

she rolls her eyes. “you're so petty. stop trying to provoke them!”

“anyways, everyone knows we're engaged,” he corrects. “their whining face is the cutest.”

“sadistic.”

“kokomi?”

she tilts her head and hums, “yes?”

“ever wondered how much it costs to propose a national holiday?”

author’s note: lmao. so in this modern au ayato actually succeeds in turning your wedding date into a national holiday. the government actually appreciates his donation because a.) they always accept goodwilled (lmao) funds and b.) ayato's an important pillar to the gov and they don't want to upset him 'cause petty rich boy tantrums tilt the economy (how sadistic).

so, ayato's the heir of the company where you are employed at as an idol turned actor/actress. kokomi is the heiress to a big jewelry corporation. lmao they were both engaged together when they were like five but they instantly broke it off because well, they both threw five year old tantrums.

plus thoma telling you that they were to be engaged was just a fact he blurted out when you asked about kokomi (he manages to omit the five-year-old part because he's careless + he didn't think it matters because anyone can tell ayato's intensely in love with you)

[rdng1230]

Tesoro

Ok, down to the wire but here's my submission for day two of @bucktommypositivityweek (although it has an element of the day one prompt too tbh). This slotted well into my strings of fate series so I'll probably post it to ao3 tomorrow.

—-

“Evan.”

He feels Tommy giving featherlight kisses below his ear as he comes back into consciousness. The loft is blanketed with sunlight and he reaches a hand up that is immediately met with Tommy’s wet curls. Warmth spreads through his whole body at the idea that Tommy has a key now. This could become a routine of theirs. 

“Tesoro.” 

Buck has no idea what that means but he’s pretty sure it’s the sweetest thing anyone’s ever said to him. He hums and nuzzles against Tommy’s cheek, pulling the freshly showered man down on top of him. 

Tommy gives a grunt of surprise that quickly turns into an amused laugh. “I missed you too.” Buck shuts him up with another kiss and wraps him into a hug, moving his lips to kiss the top of his head. 

“How was your shift?” Buck’s voice comes out hoarse and sleep ridden. “Good. Just wanted it to be over so I could come and sleep next to you.”

It was one of Buck’s favorite things he’d discovered about Tommy. Sleepiness was like some sort of lovey dovey truth serum for him. It’s not that his boyfriend wasn’t affectionate the rest of the time, but coming off of a 24 or a 48 removed almost any sense of filter he had. Buck’s pretty sure he had heard a “Marry me” when he’d given him a back rub in the 5 minutes before Tommy passed out the other day. 

He knows it was just a slip of the tongue, but it didn’t stop him from breathing out a yes after the tell tale snuffles had confirmed Tommy was asleep. 

Buck gently shifts the nearly unconscious man so his leg splays out across Buck’s hip and the rest of his weight is nestled onto the bed. Tommy’s head ends up falling on his shoulder and his hand makes slow circles on Tommy’s back, rhythmic and comforting as they fall asleep together. 

---

“Tommy?” 

“Hmmmm?” His back faces Evan as he cracks open some eggs on the edge of the pan. Evan has earned himself a damn good omelet after the good morning sex they just had. Or more like good afternoon because of their weird shift hours lately. 

“What does Tesoro mean?” 

It was one of his favorite things about Evan. He will endlessly research his fun facts, but his preferred method of learning things is by hearing it from those he loves. Tommy is still occasionally misty eyed when he remembers that list of individuals now includes him. 

He smiles and bites his bottom lip. It can be intimidating too at times. He’s not asking just to be polite or to make conversation. He’s never had a partner that wants to know him like Evan does. 

“Ummm, translated literally it means treasure.” He coughs, feeling a blush on his cheeks and is grateful that his boyfriend can’t see it. “But in English it would probably be translated as something like ‘cherished’ or darling.” 

He hears Evan’s breath catch and he’s a little worried he’s said too much. “I’ve never… No one’s ever called me something like that.” 

There’s that same breathless and bewildered tone he’d used for the word ‘Saturday’ when Tommy had first kissed him. Whatever Evan’s feeling about it, he doesn’t sense that he’s stepped over a line. Some of the tension eases out of his shoulders. 

“Well, for what it’s worth,” Tommy briefly turns away from his task to get a look at his starry eyed boyfriend sitting at the kitchen island. “I’ve never called anyone something like that.” 

He wills himself to hold Evan’s gaze and let the sincerity of the moment linger. The man’s jaw drops and Tommy tries not to smirk. There really aren't a lot of prettier sights than a flustered Evan Buckley. He turns back to the omelet adding up the chopped up ingredients he’d already set aside. 

The pleasant smells drift through the loft and Tommy thinks not for the first time that he’s never felt more comfortable more quickly than he has with Evan. What they have is lightning in a bottle and he has no intention of letting it slip through his fingers. So when Evan gets his wits back and asks if there was any reason in particular for that nickname, Tommy isn’t surprised when he starts opening up. 

“You know my parents never really cared for each other. I didn’t have a lot of role models growing up for what love and a healthy relationship should look like. To be honest with you, I think that’s why I fought myself so hard on my sexuality. I didn’t think that white picket fence neverending honeymoon phase deal was attainable for anybody much less a gay man in some of the most patriarchal environments in the world. So why go through the trouble, you know?”

He turns around with the now plated omelet and sets it in front of Evan, who looks more interested in him than the food. Tommy loves the electricity of his concentrated face, like he’s trying to soak up every piece of information on him as he possibly can. It’s terrifying and exhilarating and if they weren’t having this conversation on empty stomachs Tommy might’ve resorted to throwing him over his shoulder and taking him back upstairs for another round. 

He gestures toward the plate and Evan digs in, his eyes still fixed on Tommy. 

“The exception to that rule was my grandparents. On my mother’s side.” He continues. “They were head over heels in love till the day my Nonno died. I used to love watching them banter or dance or just, anything really. But I always thought their relationship was some kind of cosmic fluke.”

Tommy takes a sip of water, steeling himself to put his last card on the table. “But um, with you, in more ways than one…” He chuckles a little. “Lightning seems to have struck twice.” 

Evan bites down on a smile like he’s both overwhelmingly pleased and also trying his best to look offended. He fails immediately, devolving into a fit of giggles that makes Tommy fall in love all over again. 

“Anyway,” Tommy says once they’ve gotten their laughter under control. “Tesoro is what they used to call each other. And I don’t know. I just saw you laying there and it suddenly seemed wrong to say anything else.” 

Evan jumps to his feet and moves around the island, lips crashing into Tommy’s with a force. He pulls away just as quickly “You can’t say shit like that to me or I will do something insane like buy you a ring.” 

Tommy grins, pulling him back in for kisses as he fake protests. “No.” He deadpans, kissing Evan’s nose, “Don’t do that.” his cheek, “That’s crazy talk.” his birthmark. 

Tommy feels an affectionate poke to the sides and he’s laughing again. “So that was ok? Calling you that?” 

Evan’s pupils have blown wide, and he pulls Tommy into another deep kiss. 

“Never stop.”

[nadvs]

can i request for the swte universe in their college days, reader seems like a perfectionist to me so what if she failed on an exam or she didn't get there in time and she failed her class and she got really upset, feeling terrible about herself, very disappointed and rafe tries to uplift her mood, trying to get her out of her dorm room?🤍🤍🤍

omg yessss i always love your prompts 🥹

based on this fic

» au masterlist

she had a bad feeling about the midterm. sometimes she could tell when she was being too hard on herself, when she was catastrophizing, but she knew she wasn’t exaggerating when she told rafe that her mind went blank during the test and that she’s sure she failed.

now, as she sits in her dorm checking her grade on her laptop the night after, she gets the confirmation.

she texts her boyfriend, just like she did when they were best friends and told each other everything. i was right.

her phone starts buzzing with a phone call.

“you okay?” he says when she picks up. he remembers that her grade was supposed to be posted tonight.

“no,” she says with a defeated laugh.

rafe is with the guys, watching a game at the house. he stands up off the couch, holding his phone to his ear. one of his housemates points to the screen, eyebrow raised, clearly confused why rafe would leave when there’s a minute left in an intense game.

but he ignores him, rounding the corner to pace into the hallway. he leans back against a wall, arm crossed over his chest.

“how bad is it?” he asks.

“so bad that i’m working on an email to my prof to ask if i can retake it or do anything for extra credit,” she says. “i didn’t even pass.”

he can hear the panic in her voice. rafe chews on his thumbnail as he stares down at the floor.

“it’s not over,” he says. he realizes he sounds just like he does when he’s trying to motivate his teammates between periods during a rough game. he rethinks his approach. this isn’t a game. this is his girl. and she’s freaked out about her future.

“baby, it happens,” he says. “everyone fails at some point.”

“this is so bad,” she mumbles. “i’m so stupid.”

he grimaces. they’re basically the same person. he knows how much pressure she puts on herself. sometimes, he’s almost certain that she thinks she has to be perfect to be worth something, just like he does.

“where are you?” he asks.

“home.” her inhale is shaky. “i shouldn’t have stayed up late studying so much. i thought it’d be better to learn what i could, but running on barely any sleep must’ve messed me up.”

“send the email,” he says. “and be ready in half an hour, okay?”

she’s quiet for a moment.

“why?”

“because i know you’re gonna sit in your room all night, beating yourself up, thinking about what you should’ve done and there’s no point to any of it,” he says. “just be ready, alright?”

moments like these, she’s glad her boyfriend is so bossy and decisive. her head is such a mess right now, somehow feeling both chaotic and blank at the same time.

rafe texts when he arrives. when she settles in his passenger seat, he can see that she’s been crying. he shuts off his music and gently pulls her in, his palm at the back of her neck, so that she’ll nuzzle into his chest.

it’s his go-to move when she’s upset. it always works. after crying against him for a moment, her breaths start to even out.

he kisses her forehead, his hand running up and down her back. he hates this feeling, when she’s so stressed out and he’s utterly powerless.

“you’re not stupid,” he mumbles against her hair.

“i am. i’m so disappointed in myself,” she says, her voice brittle. “how could i fuck up this bad?”

he frowns. he knows her well enough by now. sometimes she needs tough love. sometimes it’s the only thing that’ll pull her out of her haze.

“it happened,” he says. he pulls back just enough so she can look up at him. “can you change that it happened?”

“no.”

“is calling yourself stupid going to fix it?”

“no.”

“that’s my girl you’re talking to,” he says, his blue eyes sweeping over her face in worry. “my girl isn’t stupid.”

her lips twist in sorrow, but she nods, eyelids fluttering. she spirals sometimes. she can tell she’s doing it right now.

rafe’s hand rests on her damp cheek, rubbing his thumb over her skin.

“you anxious?” he asks.

“very,” she replies.

so, he decides to see if his most effective way of cooling down when he’s wired will help her.

he pulls into a lot by an outdoor court he always sees on his drive to her campus and takes the basketball out of his trunk when he parks.

“this is kind of unfair,” she says lightheartedly when she gets out of his car into the cool night air. “no chance i’m winning a one-on-one against you.”

“we’re just shooting hoops,” he says, putting an arm around her as he holds the ball to his chest.

the court is empty and quiet and dimly lit. they stand below one of the nets, bouncing the ball back and forth between each other.

“what if i fail the course?” she says.

“you won’t.”

“but if i do?”

“if you do, you’ll survive,” rafe replies. “you think some class can take you down?”

she breathes a chuckle. when she gets the ball back, she holds it, standing across from him, staring. all they ever are with each other is honest. it’s how it’s always been.

“i’m scared,” she admits. “i’m scared this will throw off my timing and i won’t graduate when i want to.”

“baby, there’s no way that’s happening,” he says confidently. “one bad grade won’t do that.”

“you seem so sure,” she states. she bounces the ball back to him.

“here. if i make this, it means you’ll fail the course.”

he takes the ball in both hands, holds it over his head, and throws it so it hits the rim hard, making the whole backboard shake as the ball goes flying down the court.

“i think that was rigged,” she says, the ache in her chest loosening as she laughs.

“we’ll never know,” rafe half-shouts as he runs to pick up the ball. he bounces it back to her.

she dribbles it a few times, squaring up with the net, and launches the ball in the air. it falls in the net.

“nice,” he breathes. “don’t let my coach see you. he’ll replace me.”

she turns to look at him, mirroring his smile.

“you’re laying it on a little thick, cameron,” she teases. she’s touched that he’s being so sweet just to cheer her up.

“just telling it like it is,” he says. he passes the ball to her again. “let’s see how you do with some defense.”

he steps between her and the net, a hard wall against her. his hands find her hips as she tries to line up with the net, his big frame moving with her.

“i’m pretty sure that’s a technical foul,” she says. “you can’t touch me like that.”

“nah, that’s not a rule.”

“you can’t just decide that,” she laughs.

“such a tight-ass,” he scoffs with a smirk, taking his hands off her hips and cradling her face. “how about this? this allowed?”

she giggles, holding the ball in one hand and hooking the other around his neck to pull him closer. their lips touch tenderly, both of them expelling a quiet sigh of contentment under the kiss.

she pulls back. he’s too busy staring at her in awe to block her from making another shot.

“your defense sucks,” she teases. rafe puts his hand to his chest in mock outrage.

“now you’re trash-talking?” he says. she watches him pick up the ball. he makes it look so effortless, the net swishing as the ball whizzes through it.

she’s seen him on the court so many times before, but she never tires of the sight, always so struck by how skilled he is.

they play for another twenty minutes, talking and taking turns shooting hoops, until she finally feels too tired to keep going. and she realizes she hasn’t thought about her failed midterm the entire time.

“thank you,” she says as they settle in his car. “i feel better. sweaty, but better.”

“it always works. just gotta burn your energy on something else so you can’t use it stressing out.”

“smart,” she says. “i’ll keep that in mind when i take your spot on the team.”

“i’m not so sure about that anymore,” he says. “you take fucking forever to throw. you’d run out the shot clock every time.”

she laughs, thinking about how many times in the last twenty minutes she kept the ball in her hands while she got lost in conversation with him.

she playfully shoves him, but he takes her hand and pulls her in, meeting her in a slow kiss.

“listen, i don’t want to hear the word stupid come out of your mouth again,” he mumbles. “not when you’re talking about yourself. i’m serious.”

she looks down at her lap, exhaling slowly. she knows he’s right. there’s no reason for her to bully herself so mercilessly.

“okay.”

“and please, baby,” he says solemnly, his tone deep as if he’s about to say something serious, “throw the ball faster next time.”

“i hate you,” she laughs, shoving him again. he smirks at her, putting the car in drive.

rafe has felt proud of himself a few times in his life, mostly with his athletic achievements, but he thinks that hearing her laugh, knowing he’s the one who made her feel better, is the proudest he’s ever felt.

[forlix]

𝐟𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐞𝐧 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐫・h.h.

— an impromptu drive to the airport at five in the morning rekindles conversations and feelings alike.

words・2.5k pairing・ex-boyfriend!hyunjin x gn!reader genres・angst, mutual pining, hurt w/no resolution, established (former) relationship, Airport Scene™ warnings・implied toxicity, strong language, Not a Happy Read

a/n・dear anon who asked where this went after i posted and deleted it a few months ago & dear other anon who requested mentioned hyune angst: this is for u, my loves

“I’m outside,” was how you were greeted over the phone earlier, in a tone so callous and cold that you barely recognized the speaker. Barely.

“Sorry, you’re what?”

“You have a flight today, right? I said I’d take you to the airport.”

One second, you were at a complete loss; the next, you thought you were going to erupt with how much you felt and how much you wanted to say, the weight of the situation hitting you with full force. Your ex-boyfriend, to whom you hadn’t spoken in nearly three weeks, had just materialized outside your home with no warning at the ass crack of dawn and suggested you get into a car alone with him for an hour.

As if that wasn’t the very last thing you wanted to do.

Briefly, you reflected on how you parted ways; you wouldn’t say the breakup was malicious, but it certainly wasn’t amicable, either. The longer your relationship went on, the more questions you raised—important and unavoidable considerations of your future together, none of which Hyunjin could give you substantial answers to. Whether it was because he couldn’t or because he simply didn’t care to try, you didn’t know. But the fact that you had to ask yourself that at all was enough for you to take a step back.

Distance morphed into passive aggression. That, in turn, precipitated constant conflict. The starlight that you saw in Hyunjin fizzled further with every biting word and slammed door. The resulting supernova was far from the beautiful spectacle you’d been promised in your astronomy textbooks.

Standing on the sidewalk outside your apartment was your fallen star in the flesh.

“Let me do this, Y/N."

You’d gone silent for what felt like whole minutes before Hyunjin spoke again.

"Please," he added. You perceived how the word weakened towards the end, some of the frost in his voice displaced by quiet exasperation.

It was these observations, plus the time displayed on the clock hanging above your bathroom door, that prompted you to take your luggage in hand and leave your apartment. You were going to miss your flight if you stood there, glowering silently, for any longer.

When you emerged into the frigid morning, you spotted Hyunjin’s silhouette immediately, and something inside you came undone, as though a knot had been doing itself over and over since you and him parted ways. Your eyes locked together, your gaze contemplative, his a little surprised, as if he didn’t actually expect you to accept his offer.

The first word that came to your mind was exhausted. You could tell that the shadows on his face weren’t just products of the lone streetlight above his head; he had his back curved in a slouch that made him look a few inches shorter than he was. You were reminded of a balloon with an indiscernible opening somewhere on its surface, gradually and inevitably deflating.

Much to your irritation, the second word to surface in your mind was beautiful. Hyunjin’s normally sharp features, from what you could see beneath his hood, were bare and smooth from fatigue; thick strands of dark hair, longer than you remembered, fell effortlessly over his forehead and his cheekbones; his figure somehow looked even broader, leaner when fitted in the loose material of a hoodie and sweatpants.

He was the spitting image of a man you used to know, who looked just like this whenever he wandered into your bedroom at the end of the day, whenever he wrapped you into his arms and littered kisses over your skin until sleep overcame the both of you like a warm, clear tide, whenever he greeted you with a smile that shone like the tropical sun the next morning.

You were standing in front of a ghost.

You broke eye contact first, averting your eyes to your luggage instead. Just in time to see and feel his hand brush against yours when he took your suitcases from you and loaded them into the trunk, all without saying a word.

Now, twenty minutes have passed since Hyunjin started driving, and forty remain before you reach the airport. The vehicle is deathly silent save for the drone of wheels against pavement and wind whistling against dusty windows. You haven’t looked at Hyunjin since you met him outside your place. Instead, your eyes are fixated on the lights of Seoul and the way they flicker out of sight one by one as you drive further away.

And you remember.

The different memories you have of this car blow through your mind like you’re skimming a flipbook. That time you burst into tears mid-drive and Hyunjin pulled over on the side of the highway, giving you his undivided attention as you ranted about the terrible day you’d had. That time you noticed a paparazzi van stationed around the corner and the two of you sank so low in your seats that you had to later unfold yourselves from beneath the glove compartments. The assorted dog-shaped air fresheners you bought for him, a new one hanging from the rear-view every month (except the one that resembled Kkami, which stuck around for almost a year). The caffeine-flavored kisses shared over the cupholders between the seats, one person tipping over the drinks precariously, the other moving to catch them with a soft huff of laughter. The extra hoodie he kept in his backseat for if you ever accidentally underdressed when you went out together. The playlist you curated together, always playing quietly in the background.

You never gave this car a second thought when you and Hyunjin were together, but it is only now that you realize the place felt a little like an extension of home, of him.

The silence becomes fucking excruciating.

You are not sure if Hyunjin is interested in speaking to you. You’re less sure if you even have anything to say to him. But you open your mouth anyway.

“Thank you,” you say, hardly audible. “For doing this.”

A pregnant pause follows. Hyunjin probably wasn’t expecting you to start a conversation—neither were you, to be fair.

Little do you know that he has been trying and failing to string together a sentence since the moment he started the engine, and hearing your voice feels like clouds parting on a foggy day, a singular ray of sunshine settling on his cheek.

“It’s no trouble,” he returns. He’s quiet for a while after this, and you’re beginning to think the conversation is already over when he clears his throat.

“How are you feeling? About the trip, I mean.”

“Good. I think it’ll be nice to get away from Seoul for some time.”

Your choice of answer is intentional, and you can tell by Hyunjin’s lack of immediate response that he picks up on this.

“And you?” You return. “How’ve you been?”

“Fine, thanks. The members and I went to the states a few days ago, finished up album promotions there.”

“Oh, right.” He’d told you about this; they’d been in Japan prior, if you remember correctly. “And everything went well?”

“Yeah. It was a lot of fun.”

“When did you get back?”

You don’t expect him to hesitate at such a simple question, but he does.

“Few hours ago,” he mumbles.

This takes you a few seconds to process. And then, so surprised at his answer that you can no longer help yourself, you finally lift your gaze to the side of Hyunjin’s face.

Your eyes comb over the fluorescent lights of the highway illuminating the slope of his nose; the weariness clouding his irises; his teeth latched gently around his lower lip, as if trying to prevent himself from saying another word.

Hyunjin turns his head to look at you, too, only for a few seconds and more out of anxiety than anything. But you have long mastered the art of reading the fine print of his facial expressions, and that brief interval is enough for you to catch what hadn’t been there the last time you’d looked him in the eye: the true reason why he’d hardly set his bags down on the dormitory floor before he was leaving again, piling into a car and going to you; the same entity that you know is etched all over your face, too.

Yearning.

He is the one who looks away first this time, with a soft snap of his head like he has to force himself to do it—but the damage has already been done.

“Idiot,” you mutter under your breath, and you mean it in every sense of the word.

And it’s so unexpected (and so damn true) that it wrests a laugh from Hyunjin’s lips, the sound every bit as light as it is dark. The bittersweet smile that it leaves behind on his face mirrors helplessly onto your own.

You don’t say another word to each other for the rest of the drive.

The sun has risen by the time Hyunjin pulls up to the curb of the international terminal, but there’s hardly anybody around at this time of day, so he doesn’t mask up before stepping out of the car. He places your suitcases in front of you, then holds up a finger as a silent gesture of wait right there—and he dashes up the curb, beelines towards the line of trolleys, and pulls one over. 

You feel a helpless warmth in your fingertips as you haul your suitcases onto the metal platform together. Even now, he’s taking care of you, as thoughtlessly and naturally as respiring.

“Is that everything?”

“I think so.”

And the two of you find yourselves two feet apart and facing each other, examining your counterparts as if the answer of what the fuck to say now lies in the curves of their cheeks, in the purse of their lips.

But all you obtain from looking at Hyunjin is a glimpse of that wicked entity again, yearning, now in the form of eyes softened by the sunrise and lips parted by forbidden words, sitting readily on the tip of his tongue.

You feel a deep, hollow sadness within you, derived from knowing and hating that no amount of yearning will change the reality that he’s not yours anymore.

“Have a great trip,” Hyunjin says at last. “Be safe, okay?”

“I will,” you answer. “Thank you again. Get some rest today.”

Your arms move to push your trolley, but not before they nearly twitch in his direction with how much you want to hug him goodbye. The last thing you see before turning around is his hand in the air, and then you enter the airport, wondering vaguely if you will ever see him again.

You're in a bit of a numb state as you check in your bags and step into the line for security. The last hour has left you feeling like your heart and mind have filled with static—the kind that shows up when there are too many television signals in the air, all of them unintelligible and amorphous.

But then there is a shout of your name behind you, so urgent that the familiar voice cracks over the last syllable, like bone breaking upon boulder. You turn around.

The white noise clears.

The soles of Hyunjin’s sneakers echo as he runs across the mostly-empty airport; his hood has been knocked down and his long hair set free, combed backward by the wind; there are other eyes on him, but he is only looking at you, something else burning in his gaze now, something certain and familiar. 

You move your suitcases aside and extend your arms, your pulse racing with anticipation—just in time for him to positively crash into you. He very well could have hurt you with how quickly he’s moved toward you, but the very instant his skin meets yours, he’s gathering you so tightly and securely in his arms that he cushions his own fall, costing you only of the breath in your lungs.

And the two of you fuse together like a cosmic collision, imperfect but quintessential. The moon’s craters themselves.

He knots one hand in your hair and cradles the back of your neck with the other; you form fists around the fabric of his hoodie, your face disappearing into the junction of his neck and shoulder. And you feel the tears come at last: tears of relief, of regret, of remembrance.

There are a billion things Hyunjin wants to say to you then. He wants to thank you for loving him. He wants to blame you for loving him. He wants to tell you that it was all worth it for him, so long as he was once the reason that you smiled. He wants to convince you—and himself—that nothing was meant to last forever, that the two of you were destined to burn out, the same way even the biggest and brightest of heavenly bodies have shelf lives too.

But there is one train of thought that overshadows the rest. It rings louder and truer than anything he has ever known and emerges straight from the chambers of his heart.

“I—” He sounds shattered when he speaks, his voice muffled where his lips touch your skin, his words a rasp that is only audible to you. “I still—”

“I know,” you whisper, squeezing your watering eyes. “Me too.”

And you think the shaky “fuck” that leaves his lips is an apt summary of the absolute mess that the two of you have found yourselves in: entirely and obtusely enamored with the person who has proven themselves to be incompatible with your love, time and time again.

You are only willing to pull away far enough from Hyunjin so that you can look at him, his cheeks now damp with saltwater and flushed with emotion, his dreary eyes swimming with adoration and sorrow. You cradle his face with both hands, and he drops his arms to circle around your waist. His fingers lace together against the small of your back.

“It’s gonna be okay,” you murmur. You wipe at his tears with your thumbs, touch your forehead to his. “We’re gonna be okay, Hyun.”

His reply is so sad and so small that your heart feels like it’s being carved out of your chest with a blunt pocket knife. “When?”

You don’t know the answer.

You don’t know the answer when you finally go through security, the final boarding call for your flight booming through the intercom, Hyunjin’s face buried in his shaking sleeves.

You don’t know the answer when you return to Seoul a few months later, and Hyunjin is not there to give you a lift this time.

You don’t know the answer when your birthday passes and you still receive texts from Hyunjin’s parents, wishing you well, reminding you to take care of yourself. Nor do you know the answer on the birthday after that, or the birthday after that, which is when the texts stop coming.

You won’t know the answer for a very long time—so much so that you spend years of your life doubting there’s an answer at all. But you find it one day when you least expect it, and it congeals in your mind like expired milk, numbs your mouth like the strongest of anesthetics. 

You have your answer then, but you don’t want it.

You never have.

🔖・@astraystayyh・@like-a-diamondinthesky・@fire-08・@starsandrqindrops・@txtxlz・@laylasbunbunny・@strayghibli・@nuronhe・@seungminsapuppy・@vivisoni・@skzms・@moon0fthenight・@sweetpickledjins・@svintsandghosts・@nhyunn ・@ur-boyfiend ・@liknws・@hotgorloikawa

© 𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐱 (est. 090323) · liked this work? please consider reblogging, commenting, or sending me an ask to let me know; or, read my other writing here. thanks so much for the support ♡

[milksuu]

Don't Worry. I'll Support You. | PT. 01

❥ prompt: Your HEARTSTEEL boyfriend has to undergo minor surgery, and they chose you to be their caretaker for the day. Let's see how they are before and after anesthesia. ❥ content/warnings: fluffy fluff, drugged behavior (all medically safe), mention of needles, mild profanity, minor angst ❥ characters/pairings: v!Heartsteel! (aphelios, ezreal, kayn) x girlfriend!reader

an: i don't know why this was tumbling around in my head. wow, this post got longer and longer the more i wrote. i swear I'll write for the other babes too.

APHELIOS

Unfortunately, this wouldn't be the first time Aphelios had to undergo surgery. Happened when they had to remove the nodule from his vocal cords. And he doesn't remember a single thing from that day. Alune took care of him at the time, but she never mentioned anything beyond how he slept most of the day (probably to spare him from embarrassment).

He appreciated you taking a day off work to take care of him and be his interpreter. He was fine with all his consents and paperwork. But when it came to more detailed questions concerning his medical history, he would have you translate his sign language to the medical staff. Thanks to you, the process went smoothly.

IV's were never fun to have. Especially when it had to be in the hand. Aphelios couldn't lie and say he wasn't nervous about it, despite his aloofness. But all he had to do was shift his eyes away for a moment, and look at your cute, bubbly face. He could tell you were rambling on trying to distract him, and he guessed it worked. By the time he looked down again, the IV was in. He denied the golden star sticker usually meant for the pediatric patients, but you took it for him as a momento.

When it was time for him to go into the OR, the medical team gave you two a moment. You slipped a hand into his and gave him two love squeezes. He smiled softly and gave three love squeezes back. A quick peck to his lips and you left to sit in the waiting room.

When he was brought to recovery and awake, you were taken to his bedside. When you stepped through the curtain, you saw him resting as if he were asleep at home. Slowly, he opened his eyes, glazed over with mild recognition. Although he felt lethargic, he signed sloppily with his hands.

Is this heaven?

You bit your bottom lip to keep from smiling too much. You shook your head and reminded him where he was.

Oh. Really? Because you look like an angel to me. And if they want you back up there. Forget it. I'm keeping you.

You covered your mouth to keep from giggling too loud. You weren't sure if he was being serious or actually trying to flirt with you. It wasn't common at all for him to be so corny, but you blamed the anesthesia for that. When the nurse came to the bedside, she went over discharge instructions while you held his hand. He kept giving you light squeezes and rubbing his thumb gently against your fingers. Just to make sure you wouldn't fly away. Of course, anytime you had to let go and sign a paper, he sighed heavily (almost a whine if he wasn't careful), until your hand floated right back for him to take. Then he was sighing with relief again.

While at home, it was just the same. Aphelios didn't want you to leave his side for even a moment. If he had his way, you'd be sleeping next to him, still holding onto his hand. You had to remind him many times that you had to take care of him, so no cuddles or naps just yet. You also had to remind him he needed to eat and take fluids after fasting for so long. If there was thing you knew, he was a picky eater. Aphelios seriously thought ketchup packets counted as a full meal and satisfied his daily fiber intake. Luckily, you were able to spoon feed him some soup with a couple of crackers.

After you had him take his first dose of medication, you could finally indulge him. You settled next to him in bed, and he took no time to wrap himself around you, nuzzling your chest. A small, sleepy smile formed against his lips. Maybe you weren't a real angel. But you couldn't convince him you weren't his heaven on Earth.

EZREAL

Oh, boy. This was the first time Ezreal had to have any kind of surgery. Even though it was supposedly minor, that didn't stop the nerves itching underneath his skin. Is it normal to be this nervous? He wasn't sure, but he tried his best to hide his chattering teeth behind a forced smile. He really didn't want you worrying about him more than you had too. You were already doing him a big favor by taking care of him. He just hoped he wouldn't be a wreck before and after.

Apparently, signing consent forms and answering medical questions became a challenge. His hand trembled so much, his usual confident signature looked like a preschooler forged it. And when it came to answering medical questions, he found himself stuttering, feeling like someone stuck cotton balls inside his mouth.

When it was time for the IV, his whole body was ready to collapse in on itself. Was it always so hot in here? Sweat dampened the top of his skin. W-What's the big deal anyway? Not like he was afraid of some tiny, sharp...needle....OK, the room was spinning now. Great—awesome. Man, he felt so lame.

Seeing the color drain from his complexion, his head drop back, and his eyelids fluttering close, you politely asked the nurse to give him a moment with you. She laid him down in the stretcher and brought you a wet cloth. Wiping at his damp face and neck, you rested a comforting hand against his heaving chest. "It's okay to be afraid, Ez. It's not easy to have surgery. You're brave for even being here." He shook his head weakly, clenching his eyes tight. "B-brave. Yeah right, babe. I mean, look at me. I'm practically comatose and the nurse barely even wrapped the tourniquet around my arm."

"Brave doesn't mean not being afraid of anything. It's doing something even knowing it's scary." Another wipe of his cheek and you planted a reassuring kiss. "There's no one braver in my eyes right now." Ezreal swallowed the ball of anxiety nested in his throat. A couple of more inhales and he gathered his remaining courage for the next step that had to be done.

You held his hand the entire time the nurse worked to get his IV started. You told him to close his eyes and take big breaths, and it would be over before he even knew it. He did as instructed, and just like you said, it was done. He admitted to you that it felt a bit itchy, but that he could deal with. Oh, but was it so worth it when the nurse offered him that golden star sticker. He slapped it on the chest of his gown like a badge of honor.

When the medical team arrived to take him in the stretcher, he gave you that million dollar smile and peace sign. Granted, you whispered to the anesthesiologist to give him some relaxing medication before he went in. The anesthesia provider was way ahead of you. When he started giggling, waving, and blowing kisses like he was out the sunroof of a limo driving down the boulevard—oh yeah. You knew he was feeling it.

When it was all over and they called you back to recovery, the nurse informed you he couldn't stop talking the moment he opened his eyes. And all that he was talking about was you. "Babe! Babe! I did it—I can't even believe it's over. I don't even remember them putting me to sleep. Crazy, right? Like, did I count down from ten? Did I make it to zero? I bet I made it to zero." He practically wiggled himself over the safety rails on the stretcher. You sweetly instructed him to keep still so that the nurses could get a decent blood pressure on him. "Okay. Okay. I'll be good. Promise." He forced himself to lay back, but that didn't last long. While the nurse was going over instructions, he was tugging on your shirt sleeve, calling your name, interrupting every moment wanting your attention. Apparently, he had a lot to say to you in the span of thirty-minutes you were separated.

When you arrived back home, by some miracle you were able to have him settled on the couch once you put on his favorite K-Drama. While sitting next to him (and making sure he didn't get up) he rested his cheek against the top of your head. "Thanks for everything, babe. Honestly, you make me feel like the bravest guy. Like Indiana Jones....or Captain Kirk...maybe even that...one actor from National Treasure...." before you could say anything back, you felt his body relax further into you. His light breaths signaling he dozed off seamlessly. With a warm smile, you pulled the blanket over the two of you, and snuggled closer before you joined him for a nap.

KAYN

GOD DAMN IT'S EARLY! Kayn wanted to shout when you woke him up for his 6AM arrival time. Instead, he grumbled, kicked on his crocks, and went in his pajamas. He was too tired to really argue and complain. He just wanted to get this done and over with so he could move on with his life.

Kayn didn't diddle-daddle with his forms and medical questions. He wanted to put on his gown, toss himself into the stretcher, and possibly get a few more winks before his surgical time. You sighed—this was going to be the longest hour before surgery.

Although still in a foul mood, Kayn eased a bit when you worked up a distracting conversation with him. And when the nurse came in to do his IV, Kayn didn't bother blinking. He probably stuck himself countless of times with other—probably sharper—and deadlier objects. Actually, he took it one step further. When the IV was inserted, just to mess with you (and the nurse), he made a loud, and seductive moan. You pinched his arm for startling the nurse. Poor thing didn't even know how to react to that nonsense. "Ow. Ow. Nurse—nurse, she's hurting me." He said, cowering away from you. "You deserve that for almost giving them a heart attack. What if they missed and had to stick you twice?" Kayn smirked, rubbing at his nipple line. "More of a good time for me, then." You rolled your eyes, begging for him to behave for the next half-hour.

When the surgeon came to the bedside, he discussed the procedure at length and a few expectations afterwards. When he finished, he asked if either of you had any questions. Kayn raised his hand like the serious kid in math class. "Yeah. Question, Dr. Shen. When can I have sex again?" You almost spat out the complimentary coffee the front staff so kindly gave you. You couldn't believe he had just asked that question so casually at...let's see.... 06:50 in the morning!

You apologized on his behalf, but Dr. Shen merely dismissed it. "That's quite alright. It's a fair question. And one I receive plenty of times from my male patients. Even ones well into their eighties, and surprisingly, nineties." Kayn nodded with a grin and you rubbed your warming forehead. Of course. What else would they bother to ask? The surgeon went on to say; "As far as any kind of exertional activities, that will all be discussed and cleared at your follow-up appointment in two weeks."

TWO WEEKS!? Kayn almost fainted right then in there. He looked at you with such concern, as if someone told him a Pentakill concert sold out before he could even buy a ticket. He reached over and grabbed your hand, holding tight. "Listen, kitten. I don't think I want this surgery anymore. Can we go home now?" You shook your head disapprovingly. After hearing such news, and you not bailing him out, Kayn sulked as if he was getting surgery to forever castrate him.

When it was time to take him, he begrudgingly let you kiss his cheek. Otherwise, he didn't reciprocate your affection. He tossed his chin away and said. "Whatever. Let's just get this crap over with." Once again, he had you shaking your head, and you apologizing to everyone in the room.

When the nurse came to bring you back into recovery, you noticed he was sleeping on his side, back turned to you. You wondered if he was still upset by the whole ordeal. When you reached out to touch his shoulder, he tensed, but slowly turned over. "Kayn. Are you feeling alright? If you're in pain, I'll tell the nurse—" Before you could finish, Kayn reached forward and grabbed you, pulling you into the tightest hug. You felt him bury his face into your neck and shoulder, hands desperately clinging to you.

"Oh, thank you, thank you." You heard him choke up. You brought a hand to gently comb through his hair, asking him what was wrong. He shook his head. "I...I don't know. I thought— just before everything went black—what if I never saw you again. And the way I acted before they took me..." he squeezed tighter, burying his sulking face deeper. "I'm sorry. I love you, okay? Just, trust me on that. Please."

"It's okay. I love you too," you hummed and stroked his back, continuing to assure him. "You don't have to worry anymore. It's all over. You're still here. The doctor said you did so good, and there were no complications." Pausing, you planted a kiss to the top of his head. "How about we get you dressed so we can go home, hm?" He nodded against your shoulder, and you helped the nurse dress him for discharge.

When you brought him home, Kayn wanted to do nothing but turn off the lights, close the blinds, and lay next to you in quiet darkness. Breathe you in, feel your warmth, and listen to the softness of your pulse against his ear. Focus on the fact that he was alive and you were alive with him—nothing else.

[theushijimaoverlord]

"this whole thing is a mess"

♡ tooru oikawa x reader - 1.3k ♡ warnings - none other than oikawa himself (and some ugly baby shenanigans) ♡ notes - hi! i'm purple and this is my first post, enjoy! (prompt credit from @creativepromptsforwriting)

It was a mess.

A big, tremendous, nearly-unfixable mess.

The day started off normal enough, you in your comfy gray sweat, loose shirt (that may or may not belong to Oikawa), a book you’ve been overdue to read in your hands. As your eyes scanned the pages, your attention was drawn away as you began to the thump thump thump of someone running up the stairs. And unless someone had broken into your house, you already knew who was currently making their way towards your bedroom.

As if on cue, a familiar ruffle of brunette hair came into view as said person came barreling through your door. For an athlete, it always bemuses you how Oikawa always got so winded running up your stairs.

You patiently wait for him to catch his breath. Finally, after he had decided that enough air had entered his lungs, he looked up and if you knew any better from the look in his eyes, you could already tell he was about to tell the most ridiculous thing ever. Because your boyfriend wouldn’t be doing the world justice if he were one for the dramatics.

“You would not believe what I just found out.”

Staring at him for a few seconds, you roll your eyes, close your books and turn your whole body to face him. This was gonna take a while. “Okay I’ll bite. Tell me what you found out.”

If you squint hard enough, you could almost see the joy gleaming in his eye from the fact that he caused you to turn your whole attention to him. But it quickly disappeared as he crossed the room and plopped down face first onto your bed, arms wide, and began whining.

You should convince him to take up theater.

“Come on Tooru, tell me what you came all the way up here for or I’m going back to my book,” Turning his face, Oikawa looked at you and gave his signature pout. If you called him out for it, he would vigilantly deny it.

“Did you remember when you went over to my mom's house a week ago?” 

“When we visited for new years? Yeah I remember, remind me later to ask her for her mochi recipe.”

“Yeah, yeah. So you remember when the two of you decided to torture me by looking at my baby photos?” Honestly, he was the one torturing you with the way he was loudly complaining with each flip of the photo album.

If it wasn’t already obvious by the media attention, countless photo-shoot bookings, and (to his dismay) amount of fanfic being written about him, Oikawa Tooru was a very handsome man. Some might even argue (you) that the word pretty comes to mind when talking about the Argentina National Volleyball Team’s setter.

But a little secret that he had and would rather take to the grave is that he was a very, very ugly baby. At least by his standards. You have a running theory that he only thinks that way because Iwaizumi liked to taunt him about it, especially when they were younger.

“Yes Tooru, although I’ve told you pointless times that you were a very normal looking baby, I do recall looking at photos with your mom.” Reaching a hand out from under the warm blanket, you grab his hand that is closest to you and intertwine your fingers. You swear his pout lessens a little before he continued telling you about his current dilemma.

“Well I was scrolling online and you will not believe what I saw” Sitting up without disconnecting your hands, he sits on the bed, brown eyes now directly across from you. 

“Well she. Posted. The. Photos.”

A beat of silence passed as he just stared at you, straight faced and serious. 

And then you break eye contact by letting out a short laugh, which apparently broke a dam inside you because your free hand came up to cover your mouth as you tried to suppress the fit of giggles you couldn’t hold back anymore. 

Oikawa just continues to stare at you, but now he had a dumbfounded expression on his face, as if he hadn’t just told you the worst possible thing to ever happen to him. Realizing you weren’t gonna stop, Oikawa lets out a long drawn whine, closing the gap in between the two of you and throwing his arms around your body, pressing his face into your neck.

The position caused you to uncover your mouth and now the only sound filling the room was your unfiltered laughs. As much as Oikawa loved listening to the noise, he hugged you tighter hoping you would eventually stop being entertained by his misfortune.

“Why do you hate me, babe. What have I done to deserve this mistreatment?”

As your laughter finally dies down, you reach your arms around and hug him back, rubbing one palm up and down his back as the other hand carded his brown moppy hair through your fingers. Your bedroom was now engulfed by a (rare) moment of peaceful silence as you felt him breathing into your neck.

“Has anyone ever told you that you’d have a knack for always being the most dramatic person in a room” A pause before his response.

“...no” An obvious lie, but you let it slide.

“Alright, what are people saying about your photos though? Can’t be that bad”

Sitting up straight again, his arms were still wrapped around your body so he had to crane his neck to look down at you and you find yourself doing a similar motion to look up at him. If anyone else saw the two of you like this, they might find the positioning comedic.

“It’s terrible. Absolutely horrible. This whole thing is a mess. The entire world is making fun of me as we speak.” 

Rolling your eyes, you reach for your phone on the nightstand and begin searching for his mother’s post which wasn’t hard considering you closely followed her actively due to her weekly recipe post. And just as you presumed, Oikawa’s mom’s most recent post was a picture of some photos from the album the two of you looked at a few days ago.

You could tell they were pictures of Oikawa during his infant years, but only because you were able to see it in person but…. When you closely examined the post, you were astonished that anyone could even tell what the photo was off. Even though mama Oikawa had skills in the kitchen and taking pictures of the foods she makes, the woman wasn’t as skilled when photographing other things.

“Babe, literally no one can tell what this is a picture of. If I didn’t know any better, it just looks like she took a picture of a photograph of a loaf of bread and posted it.” A gasp falls from his lips, causing you to look back up at him.

“Are you saying I look like a loaf of bread? How dare you!” You are practically rendered speechless.

“No! I’m saying that unless people have seen the real thing, there is no way anyone would guess that it’s a photo of you as a baby. And I’m looking at the comment section right now, no one is saying anything about you, most people are asking what it even is.”

“What? I swear people were saying stuff” Snatching your phone, he also begins to scroll before he comes across a comment that read:

that’s the stupidest looking baby I’ve ever seen

Turning the phone to show you, he pointed at the words on the screen, giving you a wide eyed I-told-you-so look. 

“See??” Looking at him, you gave Oikawa a blank stare.

“Tooru, Hajime is that one who commented that” Flipping the screen back around, his eyes quickly scan for the person who typed out the atrocious words and staring right back at him is Iwa-chan’s username, and profile pic of the gym he worked at.

“Oh”

Pondering his existence, Oikawa almost misses the snort you let out if it wasn’t for the explosion of laughter you let out.

Again

♡ hello! thank you for finishing my first work, i hope you enjoyed it. i would love any type of constructive criticism, either in regard of my writing, theme, or anything else

♡ i took a lot of my inspiration from @adoringhaikyuu, especially when creating my theme so i wanted to give them credit, and i completely recommend their work so go check them out

♡ thank you (again) and warmest regards, ms. purple

[feelmyskinonyourskin]

Fight Club

Pairing: Matt Murdock x (AFAB)Reader (with platonic Frank Castle x Reader)

Summary: @hellskitchenswhore is killing it with the prompts lately. Per her request: Matt's freaking out thinking you might be cheating on him because for the last few weeks, you’ve been coming home smelling like Frank. What he doesn’t know is that you asked Frank to teach you how to fight and didn’t tell Matt.

Warnings: 18+/SMUT. No use of Y/N. Female/AFAB reader (use of terms like girlfriend and female anatomy.) Established relationship. Brief mention of an active shooter at an office, Frank and Matt using pet names like sweetheart, mentions and accusations of cheating but no actual cheating, Unprotected sex, Fingering, P in V, Creampie, and Possessiveness from our dear Matt. Sort of getting caught after the fact.

Notes: I started taking kickboxing like three weeks ago, so I like to pretend that qualifies me to know what I'm talking about (It doesn't lol). So apologizes if I got any of the terminology wrong. UPDATE DEC 2023: I wrote an alternate ending to this fic that ends in a threeway with Frank that you can read here

WC: 5,000

*I never give permission for my fics, manips, or any other original creation I post on this site to be copied, posted elsewhere, translated, or fed into any AI program. The only platform I currently post anything on is Tumblr. Thanks!*

“That’s it sweetheart, last round I promise.” Frank encourages you as you take swings at the bag in front of you. 

You’ve been at this for at least an hour and your arms feel like jello. You can’t remember the last time you were breathing this hard that wasn’t from Matt bending you in half. Jumping directly into the Hudson would have kept you drier than the amount of sweat currently pouring down your face and exhausted body.

“Atta girl, atta girl!” Frank praises as you take your last few swings, arms too weak to make any real movement of the bag

“Alright, you’re getting the hang of it now. Few more sessions and you’ll be out there with Red every night.”

“Pfft I don’t know about that, Frank. I’m just trying to make sure I can protect myself is all.”

“So remind me again why you didn’t ask him to teach you this?”

It started last week. One of your favorite coworkers was going through a bitter divorce and her estranged husband decided to confront her at the office and pulled a gun. You heard two shots ring out from your desk and feared the worst - all the active shooter situations you'd seen on TV were happening live in your life. Fortunately, as you fled for safety, Jerry from accounting was able to disarm and tackle the guy before he could hurt anyone thanks to his black belt in Jiujitsu.

Even though the incident ended okay, it had spooked you enough to get yourself some defense classes, for all those times when your vigilante boyfriend was too far uptown to protect you at a moment’s notice and Jerry wasn’t around to save the day.

Matt was always overprotective of you and you hated to think how he’d react to the incident, so you hadn’t told him. When the story hit the news, you lied (via text so he couldn’t detect it) and said it happened on a different floor and you didn’t even notice. 

You also didn’t tell him about your decision to learn self-defense. Matt was more than qualified to teach you, but for some reason, you just didn’t feel comfortable asking for his help with this. Maybe it was his propensity to throw himself into helping those he cared about, you especially, that gave you hesitation to give him another thing to prioritize over himself. Maybe it was just how good he was at fighting that made you not want to “be a beginner” in front of him (not that Matt would ever judge you about anything.)

In fairness to you, you hadn’t intended to learn it from his frenemy and former client, but you’d showed up at the boxing gym near your work and the gruff men inside intimidated you so much, you bolted out the door before signing up for a class, tears welling in your eyes when you quite literally bumped into Frank on the street.

“What are you doing here?” he asked, nodding towards the door of the boxing gym

“I thought… Look I want to learn how to fight. Or at least how to defend myself. This place is close to work but um… might not be the right fit for me.”

“Why don’t you just ask Red?”

“It’s a long story,” you replied with a sigh “but I really don’t want to ask him. Or for him to even know about it. So can you please not mention you saw me here or we had this conversation?”

“Okay, can I ask why not?”

“You can but I’m not gonna answer.” 

Frank chuckled and shook his head

“Well if you want to learn to fight, this isn’t the best place. I know Vinny the owner and he’s a shit teacher. But if you want to learn for real, I’m happy to teach you.”

“What? Wait really? Wait, Frank you know how to fight?”

“Sweetheart, I was a Marine for over 15 years, ‘course I know how to fight.”

“And you’d do that for me?”

“Course. You’re Red's girl. What times’ he leave for his little night job?”

“9:00”

“Great, meet me here at 9:30. Tonight.”

And that was how you ended up here, collapsing on the gym mat beneath you with a groan.

“Not bad for your first time. We just gotta get you in the habit of resetting your hands after every hit, and you’ll be golden” Frank praises again

“Oh yeah, I forgot, always protect the face so I don’t end up lookin like you.” you jest

“Ouch” he feigns hurt with a smirk on his face “Red teach you to swing low like that?”

“Nah Castle, that’s all me. It’s part of why he loves me. Same time tomorrow?”

“Sure. See you then.”

By the time Matt returns home, you’re showered and in bed, sore muscles pulsing every time you twist and turn in your sleep. Between the smell of sweaty clothes in the hamper and the scent of your freshly washed skin rubbing against silk sheets, plus the heat radiating off your sore muscles as he crawls into bed silently beside you, Matt figures it out pretty quickly.

‘She started going back to the gym. Hmm. Have to ask her about that in the morning.’ he thinks as he drifts off beside you.

You awake in the morning to gentle hands rubbing at your back. 

“Mmm morning Matty” you mumble, still pulling yourself out of sleep

“Morning sweetheart.”

“What are you doing?” you ask as he works a little lower down your spine

“Giving you a massage. I can tell you’re sore. When did you start going back to the gym?”

“Just yesterday. And you’re right I’m super sore. Thank you, this is a nice way to start my day.”

“Of course sweetheart. What gym did you go to? Did you have fun?” he inquires

His innocent prodding has you waking fully quickly, trying to cover your tracks without outright lying and getting caught.

“Oh this gym near work. Couple people in the office recommended it. And yeah I had fun.” 

All truths.

“That’s nice. Mmmm do you want to start the coffee or shower first?” he asks, seemingly letting the subject go

Perfect.

As you rush around to get ready for work, Matt grabs the laundry hamper from the bathroom, walking it over to the washing machine. Your dirty workout clothes from the night before sit on top, now less potent that they have completely dried. But he can’t help but feel like something smells off.

Sure it smells like you - natural scent mixed with your fading sweat, but there’s something else. Something familiar. A very subtle hint of spiciness mixed with… is that gunpowder? 

‘Weird’ Matt thinks to himself, but brushes it off a moment later, the smell not strong enough to really garner more than a passing thought.

But three times he does the laundry in a row, he smells it. It’s so subtle, he might not even give it another thought, but it’s just so damn familiar. 

It takes another week for him to ask you about it.

“Hey sweetheart, you’ve been going to the gym a lot lately,” he mentions over dinner 

“Mmmhmm. Yeah, can you feel my muscles growing? I’m feeling stronger.” you reply

“Yeah. What exactly are you doing at the gym? It’s really working.”

“Oh a little cardio, a little strength, you know…” you skirt around, being intentionally vague

“That’s good. Is it like a class or?”

“Um sort of. Just this guy at the gym, he’s been helping me. You know, walking me through the exercises.” 

Also technically the truth.

“That’s good. Well, I’m glad you found something you like.”

‘Okay, so that guy must smell like this. She’s close enough to him in a warm sweaty gym, so there’s a little bit on her clothes. Makes sense.’ Matt thinks to himself. But he still can’t shake the feeling that that smell is so familiar.

Two weeks later, Matt is out on patrol when he hears a familiar heartbeat on the fire escape a few floors down from where he’s perched.

Frank.

“You just gonna sit there all night, listinin’ Red?” Frank asks

“Very funny Frank.” Matt says, hopping down to Frank’s level

“Haven’t seen you in a while” Matt comments

“Been busy. Madani’s been usin’ me more.”

“Oh don’t tell me you’re going legit Frank.”

“Not a shot in hell, Red. But gotta pay the bills somehow.”

And then a strong breeze blows. Frank’s signature blend of sweat, aftershave, and metallic mixed with gunpowder from all the weapons he handles overwhelms Matt’s nose. Matt cocks his head in confusion. It’s so damn familiar. But of course it is, it’s Frank. How many times has Matt been on a rooftop with him like this, bs-ing the night away while monitoring the city?

After catching up for a bit, they go their separate ways, the rest of Matt’s evening turning uneventful.

He returns home to you shortly after 3 am, your soft breathing as you sleep calms him as he strips off his suit. 

You hadn’t met with Frank tonight. He said something about following a lead and you were perfectly fine with that, you needed an off day. 

Matt curls up in bed beside you, resting his head on your back and falling asleep quickly.

The next night, Frank is really putting you through your paces and you swear you’re ready to collapse when he finally calls it for the night. 

Per usual, Frank offers to walk you home when you’re done and for the first time since you started coming here, you accept the offer since you stayed a bit later than usual tonight. At least until you can make it to Hell’s Kitchen and within range of Matt. 

You and Frank make small talk as you go and eventually, the chill of the autumn air has you shivering in your still-damp-from-sweat workout clothes. 

“Here sweetheart,” Frank says with a lopsided smirk, slinging his worn jacket over your shoulders. 

“Thank you Castle. Always a gentleman.”

“Course, ‘specially for Red’s girl.”

You make it to 35th and 10th, close enough to home and hand his jacket back to him, parting ways with a nod and a polite “goodnight.”

The later hour coupled with the particularly intense session has you collapsing into bed without even removing your shoes, let alone your gym clothes.

When Matt returns a few hours later, the smell hits him like a truck. 

‘I swear to god Frank, if you’re bleeding on my couch again…’ Matt thinks to himself. 

But when he enters the apartment the only heartbeat he can hear is yours. He inches slowly toward the bedroom and rolls the door open gently. He reaches down to feel the soft lycra of your leggings on your body, careful not to stir you from your slumber. The smell of your sweat clinging to your clothes fills his senses, way more potent than normal plus that other scent you’re bringing home from the gym. Matt pauses to wonder why he thought Frank was here but then it hits him. 

Oh my god. The mystery smell from the gym you’ve been bringing home is Frank. 

But how could you smell like… 

And then the gears in his head start turning. And he feels like a goddamn idiot. 

You had been going to the gym. But not to work out. You were cheating. With Frank of all people. And you’d made the critical error of not showering when you got home. 

Matt begins to pace the apartment, rubbing at his chin as his thoughts move a million miles a minute about what to do. 

Did he confront you? Did he confront Frank?! What should he even say?

The sun rises and he’s still pacing and contemplating when his alarm rings out. He shuts it off before it can wake you too. He needs more time to think about his next move. He gets ready for work quietly and slips out the door before you awake. 

You find it odd you haven’t heard from Matt all day. When you woke up you saw his Devil suit in a heap in the living room and there was no damage to it or blood on it. So you knew he had come home and was relatively okay. But it was so odd for him to leave without a goodbye kiss or go this long in the day without so much as a text. But he had been busy with a heavy caseload lately. You finally break shortly after lunch and text him first. 

“Hey Matty. Know you’re busy but I miss you and I love you. Dinner tonight?”

“Can’t. Working late. Don’t wait up.” He responds

That was… oddly curt. But again you figure he’s stressed and busy. 

Matt on the other hand has been wracked with stress all day. It only took an hour of his constant pacing and fidgeting for Foggy to break and finally ask.

“Matt. What’s up?”

“I think… I think I’m being cheated on.” Matt confesses. He leaves the Frank part out of the equation, wanting Foggy to be as objective as possible about his response. 

“What could possibly make you think that?”

“She’s been going to the gym like every night for a month now right when I leave for patrol and she came home last night smelling like… another man. And she’s been smelling like it a little the whole month but last night it was all over her”

“So did you ask her?”

“Well no but…” 

“Matt you are literally a human lie detector and yet here you are jumping to conclusions instead of doing the rational thing and just asking her.”

And maybe Matt would have taken Foggy’s advice if he thought you were just cheating with your gym trainer. But this was Frank. And that made it all the more complicated. 

Matt decides finally what he’s going to do. He’s going to follow you tonight, catch you in the act and confront both of you together.  

Matt still hadn’t come home when you depart for your nightly workout session, but little did you know he’s there. Pacing on the roof, waiting for you to leave. As soon as he hears the lobby door shut behind you, he springs in to action, taking the stairs two at a time into the apartment and changing out of his lawyer suit and into his devil suit as quickly as possible, making sure not to lose your heartbeat now a block and a half away. He makes up for the lost distance quickly and is practically on top of you by the time you enter the gym. 

“Hey Frank” you call out as you enter

“Hey. I’ll be over in a second.” he replies from the locker rooms

Matt crouches down by the side of the building, just close enough to the windows to hear everything going on inside. 

You’re almost done wrapping your hands when Frank emerges from the locker room. 

“Alright let’s start with our usual, then you can have a go at me again.”

“I don’t know Frank. You really wore me out last night. I woke up still in my clothes and shoes.”

Matt knew it. He fucking knew it. 

“Tough shit sweetheart,” Frank responds with a chuckle. “And what did your boyfriend think about that huh? He got any idea what we’re doing here yet?”

“Honestly I don’t know. I didn’t see or hear from him at all today. Which is weird even for him. And no I don’t think he’s figured it out yet.”

“You’re gonna have to tell him eventually”

“No, I don’t”

“So what you’re just gonna keep sneakin’ around, becoming a prize fighter without him gettin’ suspicious? Shit even a regular guy would raise some alarm bells by now, but especially Red and all his … shit”

“Frank, I am not here trying to become a prize fighter. I’m just trying to get strong enough to defend myself if he’s not around to do it. That’s all”

Matt’s heart drops. 

How could he possibly think you were cheating? And with Frank of all people. He felt like an idiot. Like a total asshole. Sure you had lied, well, technically withheld the truth and he’s sure you’ll explain why. And he’s hurt if you wanted to learn to fight that you didn’t come to him.  But this was not nearly as egregious a stain on your relationship as he thought it was. 

“I don’t know. Think you should tell him. Show him your moves. Shit, you’ve gotten a couple good hits on me these last few days I’m sure you could give Red a run for his money.” 

“I am not fighting Matt, Francis.” You say with an eye roll

Matt listens for the next hour as Frank talks you through a few hitting drills, then the two of you sparring. Frank is clearly taking it easy on you, but Matt is still impressed by what he could tell of what you were doing. He absolutely would need to take you on to really gauge your skills. 

Franks's phone rings out just as you’re cooling down with some stretches. 

He answers and speaks for a few minutes. 

“Alright sorry to jet out of here but Madani has somethin urgent for me. You good to get home alright?”

“Yeah, thanks Frank. See you tomorrow.”

Frank gives you a fist bump and then disappears through the front door. Matt uses the opportunity to sneak in just before the door slams closed behind Frank. 

You’re sitting on the floor undoing your wraps as he finally speaks up. 

“If you wanted to opportunity to hit Frank, I’m sure I could have arranged it some other way”

Your spine goes icy cold at the sound of the voice behind you. 

“Matt… I” you stumble to explain. 

“It’s okay sweetheart,” Matt says, hands up in surrender before reaching up to remove his mask

“What are you doing here?” You ask, ready for him to chew you out for your little secret. 

“Alright if I’m honest, do you promise you’ll be honest?” He asks

“Yes.”

“I followed you here because I thought you were cheating. With Frank. And I know now that’s not what’s happening. And I’m sorry for not just asking you.” He confesses with a sigh

“Oh Matt. I’m so sorry that I did anything to make you think that. That’s not at all what’s happening here.”

“I know. Been listening all night so I know. But I have to know why. Why are you doing this and why didn’t you tell me? And Frank? Really?”

“It’s a long story. Can I tell you while we walk home?”

And so you do. By the time you make it home to your apartment, you’ve come clean about the incident at work and running into Frank and how he’d been coaching you the last few weeks, and why you were so hesitant to ask Matt to be the one to do it.

Matt is oddly quiet through your explanation but nods as you speak. He finally speaks up just as you’re unlocking the front door. 

“I forgive you. And I’m sorry you felt like you couldn’t ask me. But now that I know, I am curious…”

“You want to see how much I’ve learned?”

He nods enthusiastically 

“Fine. I guess since now you know you can join us tomorrow. If you want.”

“Perfect, I’ll be there”

He tucks you in to bed with a gentle kiss before heading out on patrol again, no longer clouded by doubts about your relationship. 

—

When you arrive at the gym the next night, Matt is already there, looking extra adorable in his gray sweatpants and messy hair. 

It’s all so familiar to him - the buzz of the fluorescent lights, the smell of sweat and heat, the gym mat sticking beneath his bare feet with every step. Just like Fogwells when he was a kid. He feels at home here.

“Hey sweetheart” he greets you with a kiss

“Hey Matty” you can’t help but smile whenever you see him after a long day “Frank texted me, he’s running late, but um do you want to help me warm up?”

Matt’s face lights up with excitement. “Yes. Okay. What does Frank normally have you do?”

“Two rounds of jab crosses on the bag. Three minutes each.”

“Okay, have at it”

You wrap your hands and begin hitting the bag. Not even thirty seconds in, Matt speaks up.

“Woah woah woah. Frank has been letting you hit like this and not correcting your form?”

“Yes. Wait, what the hell is wrong with my form?”

“You’re too far away from the bag. I can hear your shoulder joint rubbing every time you jab, which means you’re over-extending that left arm. Makes you put way too much energy into each hit, you’re gonna wear yourself out way faster. Here. Step closer.”

Matt moves behind you to help you correct your position, then lets you take a few more punches.

“See? More power, less effort.”

“Yeah. Any other pointers?”

Matt places his hands on your shoulders and places his feet right beside yours, pressing his body tight against your back. You never thought of boxing as particularly erotic, especially not with Frank teaching you. But with Matt’s breath against your ear, you can’t help but feel a chill run down your spine straight to your core.

“Go ahead, gimme a few more, I want to feel how your body moves. See just what else Frank has been teaching you wrong.”

“Matt…” the words die on your lips. You want to speak up and defend how kind Frank has been these past few weeks to spend the time to teach you, but Matt’s sweet whisper of encouragement has you forgetting anything else but him.

“C’mon sweetheart, don’t get all shy on me. You hesitate like this for Frank?”

“N..no.” you stutter, then weakly throw out a few more punches

Matt chuckles, knowing just how much he’s winding you up with so little. 

“Put a little more power behind them. Don’t let me being here hold you back.”

You try to do as he says and throw some real hits, but Matt is still pressed right against you.

God, his body is warm usually, but being flush behind you as you move and hit, he practically feels like white-hot iron against you. Your heart is thumping out of your chest, and it’s not just from the few minutes of warming up you’ve done. You know Matt can hear it and is going to play you like a fiddle. His own wicked form of punishment for not telling him about your training.

His hands drop from your shoulders, running down your back lightly and coming to rest on your hips. He plants a soft kiss right under your ear.

“You’ve been working hard. Maybe Frank does know what he’s doing.”

He places a second kiss a little lower down your neck.

“You throw any actual punches at him yet?” he asks

“A few. Landed some of them too.”

A third, fourth, and fifth kiss down your neck, working his way toward your shoulder. His stubble is coarse against your skin, sending goosebumps across your flesh, your toes curling into the squishy mat beneath you.

“Mmm that’s my girl.” he says, as he begins sucking on your neck, his right hand snaking around to your front, tickling at the top of your leggings.

“Matty” you chastise

“What?” he feigns ignorance

“Matthew. Do not start something you can’t finish. Frank will be here any minute.”

“You said he’d be late.”

“His text said ‘a few minutes’ and that was already several minutes ago.”

“Well I can’t hear his heartbeat yet, so we’ve got at least five.”

You want to protest more, you really do, but you just can’t resist Matt. 

Laughing low, he nuzzles into the crook of your neck, his steady breath against your exposed skin a stark contrast to the growing labor of your exhales. You spread your legs a little wider. He takes the invitation and reaches his hand fully into your leggings, using a finger to circle your sensitive bud.

You throw your head back onto his chest with a moan, his name falling from your lips in a breathy whisper.

He continues to suck on your neck as works at your core, finally sliding a finger inside you, then another.

You reach forward to grab the boxing bag for stability, Matt’s touch causing you to writhe enough that you’re not sure you’re able to stay standing without it. As you thrash against him, he inhales deeply, a mix of your natural scent and your arousal consuming his lungs. 

In order to get you exactly where he wants you, he keeps a quick pace, knowing he does not have a lot of time. His rhythm never falters, stroking you over and over in that perfect spongy spot inside you. It’s not long before you're coming apart with a cry of his name.

Just as your head stops spinning and you’re returning to earth, Matt is turning you around and connecting his lips with yours. So hungry to have you, he guides you back a few steps, never breaking his lips from yours, and pushes you against the wall behind you.

His kisses grow more and more desperate, sending an electric tingle down your spine, though that could also be because the wall behind you is made of mirrors and the glass is cool against the heated skin not protected by your sports bra.

As soon as you make contact with the wall, his hands are back on your hips, pushing your leggings and panties down in a heap on the sticky mat beneath you. His clothes soon follow.

You throw your leg up and around his hip, opening yourself to him. An offer he quickly accepts. A soft gasp simultaneously escapes both your lips, the relief between the two of you as he guides himself slowly into your wet and eager core until he’s fully sheathed inside you. Restless fingers reach down to wrap your other leg around him, now fully holding you in the air against the mirrored wall behind you. 

He repeats the pace of his fingers only moments ago and slams into you harshly and quickly, over and over again, desperate to feel you release around him again, knowing Frank could appear at any moment. 

God, your familiar warm heat is absolute perfection, he thinks as he continues to bury himself into you over and over again. You’re still incredibly worked up from your previous climax and it takes just a few thrusts for you to be close again. The way your body is clamping around him and tensing lets him know just how close to ecstasy you are again.

Matt leans forward and you can feel his quickening breath against your ear once more.

“Damnit sweetheart, you scared me so bad. Made me think I was sharing you with someone else.” he grunts as he continues to drive his hips against yours.

“No Matty. I’m yours. Only yours — oh God. I promise.” you whimper back, arching into him further.

“Good. But to make sure you don’t forget, I’m gonna cum inside you, right now and every single night before you leave. So I’m dripping out of you after every hit, every kick. No matter how much Frank trains you. So you remember exactly who. You. Belong to.” he growls lowly against your skin, pushing you even more firmly against the cool glass with every thrust.

“Yes. Please Matt — Fuck. I’m all yours. I promise. Please.”

He thrusts one more time before he cums with a rumble of your name, his arms tightening around you, holding you impossibly close as he releases inside you just as he promised.

As he grinds against you in just the right way to hit that perfect spot one more time, your own orgasm sweeps over you. Your nails dig into his back, holding on to him as you let go, his harsh thrusts now slowed just enough so he can keep the both of you upright.

He feels you release, causing a final low groan from him, slowing down his pace, as your molten pleasure fades away. Still consumed by him and the feel of him holding you close, you lean your head back to rest against the mirror behind you as you catch your breath. Just as you feel like fully slumping against him, he sets you down gently.

You don't even really register him pulling away from you until he speaks. 

“Might want to put your pants back on. Frank’s a block away and I don’t think you want him to know how I warmed you up before he got here.”

You open your eyes and see that Matt is already dressed, a smirk painted across his face as he listens to you scramble to put your clothes on.

Just as you’re adjusting your leggings back in to place, Frank and his large frame enter the gym.

“Hey –” he pauses at the sight of you and Matt in front of him, both sweaty and still panting a little.

“Hmmm. Guess Red knows now.” Frank grumbles

But then his eyes go wide.

“You wanna tell me what that’s about?” he asks with a point of his finger.

You can feel the heat rising in your cheeks as you turn behind you to see what he’s asking about. The mirror is covered in smudges that look vaguely like the outline shape of your body.

“We don’t talk about what happens at fight club…” Matt jokes as you bury your face in your hands in embarrassment.

My Masterlist

[solitude4chiron]

“Fashion Killa”

Earth 42 Miles x black fem reader

May or may not be a Pt.2 🫣

About ig?: Little bit (maybe more than a little) of Angst and fluff, smoking, kissing but nothing further than that, music, nostalgia, slight songfic using the song “Fashion Killa“ by A$AP Rocky because music is my personality andddd I think that’s all?????

Alr so first post, and first time writing abt any character… I gave up taking Spanish so pls spare me a little 🙏🏾 and if you do write and see anything you could give constructive criticism on it would be deeply appreciated, anywaysss

The message pinged through your phone disrupting your daydreaming session after a boiling hot shower, you still lay on the bed clutching the top of your towel in case someone barged in. Knowing you’ve lived alone for a few weeks after your boyfriend cut off all communication with you, with the world, but we never officially broke up. So I assume he’s still mine and I’m still his.

“Voy para allá ahora, ma, algo emocionante viene hacia ti. -Amor M” (I’m coming over now ma, something exciting coming your way. -Love M)

Your feet sprang up with the excitement of being able to see miles, the negative feeling your heart stored for weeks crumbled and dropped on the floor. Disappearing from hearing from him. You brush past your anger and focus on the positive, like always.

You and miles had been dating for a year now and it was the longest heart wrenching year of your life, within him being the prowler, living in a city with no hero to protect it and most of all. Breaking open his nonchalant attitude caused by Grief. It had been a lot for you both, but still holding on was the best thing you could do for your heart. Hoping through everything his love for you would never waver.

And within that thought a knock came from the door, you squeezed past the groceries still on the floor after you brung them in a few hours ago to unlock the door for miles, you would hope through all this time was still yours.

“Hi Y/N missed you baby”

And you stared at your lover, cuts sharpening his already hardened face. Hair knotted and neglected, you would assume from being on the run, and clothes slightly ripped. Even though you could still tell he was putting on his best for you. A crate of your favorite things filled one of his arms as you peered inside, 2 vinyls. Long Live A$AP and Nostalgia Ultra, a bouquet of tiger lily’s. Tiny jewelry boxes stacked on one another and some other trinkets and candy’s you would sprawl out on your bed and Indulge in with miles. 

You couldn’t say nor do anything. After Miles’s disappearing act a few weeks ago, seeing him and you within feet of each other made your heart ache to converse with him about every thought that was polluting your mind for weeks.

“I missed you miles, everything about you. Your smile and voice rolling r’s in every word, your music filling my halls in the morning, the smoke on your breath after a long stressful day, braiding your hair. I missed us. Where were you baby? Why did you run?” While choking back tears you kept your head down avoiding eye contact. It shielded you from shedding any more tears while being vulnerable.

“Los siento Amor, (I’m sorry love) I know. I got caught up in some deep shit. I know it hurts you who I am. Deep down I can tell you wish I wasn’t runnin the streets. Yo también ma. (I do too ma)” He said in a disappointed manner because he was disappointed in himself. For almost losing the love of his life.

Realizing y’all were still talking in the doorframe of your apartment. You grabbed and pulled him by his free hand to our room where he put the decorated crate on your sketch filled desk before flopping on our bed and laying his head in your crossed legs. Prompting you to take out his old braids while looking through the box.

“Miles how did you find these? I thought they were discontinued?” You said. Slightly shocked at how well he knew you. Or maybe how well he remembered you

“I have my ways, but I’m hopeful that you still realize I love you, even with the time we weren’t communicating. Lo seinto mami” (I’m sorry Mami) he stated so low it felt like an intimate whisper as he tilted his head back in my lap to lock eyes with me

And that sentence made your stomach coil, because you knew what he did. How it provided for you and his family, and in some piece of your heart deep down you wanted to be mad, so mad, but his guard was down. So you anticipated your words before saying them. Trying not to ruin the moment of vulnerability

“Cuidado, (careful) you trying to hurt me?” He said jokingly and you adjusted your hands while playing in his coils forgetting he was slightly tender headed 

“Miles baby, I love you so so much, but when you’re in these situations you need to tell me something. Anything, I’m not as strong as you, Lord knows that. You know that. Just communicate with me baby. Please.” 

And as if he could feel the tears forming in your eyes he got up from his spot, cupped your face within his rough hands and pressed kisses on your forehead and lips.

“I’m sorry y/n, I promise. Don’t cry over me. Open your gifts babe, everything I do is for you.”

And as time passed you opened boxes of rings with both of your initials engraved in them. Bags of candy that melted in your mouth (you made sure to share with miles popping them into his mouth from above him) old and newly released clothes because fashion is your favorite thing in the world, and little childhood toys you always wanted but expressed you couldn’t afford as a child

You get up to play y’all favorite album and hear miles groan a bit from the sudden movement. You spin the records he got you, listening to the music while talking and taking out his braids. Combing out the old dirt and gel buildup at his roots so it was easier for you to wash later

And somehow your on the last box, after hours of opening gifts and wrappers littering your floor (you knew that gift giving was Miles’s love language so it wasn’t surprising) he asks for you to close your eyes and allow him to open it for you. Coldness draped over your neck while Miles’s breath from behind raised your senses. As fashion killa played from our record player you felt love admitting from him while behind you.

As the song played you remembered the nights you and him would smoke together in our room, window open, moonlight shining through allowing his brown skin to look blue. Lips pressed to each other, tongues exploring each others mouths through each exhale of smoke. Tumbling through our small Brooklyn apartment kissing and touching on each other, backs pressed to each wall in the house. He would call you his fashion killa and sing the lyrics about how he adored your Dior knowing proudly he bought it for you.

“You can open your eyes now Y/N”

And in the mirror you stared in awe at a one and only piece wrapped around your neck. A crystal drop orb pendant necklace. Vivienne Westwood a piece of fashion you’d studied for years since you were a little black girl, feeling a sense you would never have it draped across your neck dripping drown your collar bone.

Until now 

So you pulled him in, and wrapped your arm around his neck using your free hand to play in his freshly detangled hair. Standing on the tip of your toes to reach his cocoa butter covered lips that were now glossy from your clear lip gloss.

“you look cute with my lipgloss on pretty boy” you teased as he rolled his eyes

“shii if you like it I love it ma” and the statement warmed your stomach

Through slight groans from miles and intimate whispers you both expressed your longing for each other very well. One of his hands traced your curvy frame as his other was occupied on holding you up against the wall whilst your legs wrapped around his waist.

“I want you at my level Y/N, not at the tip of your toes. Right in front of my face.”

“You kno you fine huh?” You muttered between sharp breaths

“Definitely do.”  He replied almost instantly kissing your collar bones while your eyes lowered in pleasure

do y’all fw this?

[thebeast-dennis-etcetera]

So Many Questions Part 1

Prompt: You’re pulled in for questioning by NCIS and are quickly surprised to see your ex-boyfriend as your interrogator.

Note: Characters are post season 11

Part 2 Part 3

————

As quick as your feet would let you without actually running, you made your way past the reception and into the elevators to your floor. Ignoring the hellos from your fellow coworkers, you went right up to your assistant and interrupted her phone call.

“If a man with a blue suit and atrocious beard comes in asking for me, tell him I’m busy in a meeting and can’t talk today.”

Before she could answer or ask any questions, you entered your office and shut the door quickly behind you, letting out a breath.

The man you were referring to was a very insistent investor that you had no interest in talking with especially after he tried to woo you with a giant fruit basket and money. You and your company were not for sale or in the business of taking bribes. Luckily, you saw him in the lobby and ran for safety before he could spot you.

You sat at your desk that was stacked with paperwork and dived head first into it, knowing the growing pile was only going to get bigger by procrastinating.

Not even 15 minutes into work, your door was knocked on. You swore if it was your assistant and that pesky investor, you were for sure firing her.

“Come in!” you called, hoping for the best.

A man and woman walked in, both immediately flashing badges before introducing themselves.

“Miss L/N. I’m Special Agent McGee and this is Special Agent Bishop, NCIS. We have some questions to ask you but need you to come in with us.”

NCIS. You thought you’d never hear those letters spoken together ever since you and a specific agent had broken up 5 years ago.

“Um, what is it regarding may I ask?”

“One of your employees, a Miss Darvel,” he answered, walking over and handing me a piece of paper. Skimming over it, you realized that it was a warrant to question you in relation to a murder.

“You don’t think I’m a suspect, do you?”

“No ma’am, but we do have to have to question you considering our findings.”

You shook your head in disbelief, partly at the fact that you’re about to be questioned by federal agents but more at the fact that of all government agencies questioning you, it had to be NCIS.

“Um, ok. Just let me grab my things I guess.”

————

Most of the car ride was silent, just a little small talk about your life but you conveniently left out the part where you knew Jet, not knowing if you would even run into him. Hopefully, you didn’t and were able to keep your mental wounds from opening.

You followed them into the elevator and through the orange walls to an interrogation room. They really weren’t kidding.

“Would you like some water?” the woman you remembered as Agent Bishop asked you.

“Sure, that would be nice. Thank you.”

She smiled and the both of them left to leave you alone in the ominous room with only your reflection staring back at you. Taking a seat in the cold metal chair, you fidgeted your hands and waited.

Not long went by before the door opened again and two men walked in, one in which you knew very well, and the other was unfamiliar with his dark skin and muscular build. Your chest tightened at the sight of Jethro sitting down in front of you, pushing a bottle of water towards you, no expression on his face.

“I wasn’t expecting to ever see you again Jet,” you stated, slight displeasure in your tone.

“Jet?” his partner asked him with a smile. Jethro shot him his classic stare, wiping the smile off his partners face and looked back at me.

“I’m here on business Y/N. We have some questions for you regarding one of your employees, Petty Officer Olivia Dravel.”

“Yes, I remember you being all about business. So much so that you forgot you had people to care about.”

He sighed in frustration and you smirked at how easy it was to push his buttons. His partner looked thoroughly entertained.

“Where’d you find this one Jet? College football practice?” you jested. The agent laughed to himself as you shot him a wink.

“Enough F/N.” He began placing down pictures of a very dead Olivia and you turned your head away. “What can you tell us about the email Petty Officer Dravel sent you last night telling you that she finally had enough information?”

“I don’t know. I barely talked with her, she only reached out to me to ask about one of my investors.”

“Ian Chandler?”

“Yeah, she thought he was involved in something shady like shell corporations but wouldn’t tell me anymore than that. I asked Ian about it but he told me she was just a disgruntled employee.”

“Did she ever mention how she was planning on confronting him or meeting up with him?”

“No. Like I said, she barely talked with me.”

“Well she seemed to put a lot of trust in someone she barely talked to Y/N! She sent you a total of 10 emails, all regarding her findings on Ian Chandler, what are you not telling me?”

“I don’t know what you want me to tell you Jethro! I didn’t see any emails from her, the only conversation I had with her was in person and I already told you what it was about! You know me. I wouldn’t withhold any information from something like this!”

He just sat there silently, brows slightly furrowed and arms crossed, studying me. Very rarely had I seen the upset side of Jethro, let alone angry side and it was definitely a culture shock.

“You’ve gotten cold, Jet,” you spoke quietly, not able to look him in the eyes. A minute went by in silence, just the feel of his stare on you.

“Who else has access to your emails?” His voice was softer now.

“Just me and my assistant, Cheryll.”

He wrote a few things down in a little notepad and stood up, nodding to his partner.

“Torres. Escort Miss L/N back to the lobby, she’s free to leave.”

And just like that, he was gone. Just like 5 years ago. You held back the tears threatening to fall, not sure they were from being interrogated or from him leaving so coldly. So much for keeping those wounds closed.

[hyunsvngs]

Omg I did not expect that last post to get so many likes. I have found my piss kink brethren and Juno is our queen haha

I got so excited I mayy have written another one, with Hyunjin this time. Apologies for bombarding your inbox but what do you think? Should I keep going and write more?

---

"Hyune?"

"Yes, my love?"

"Can I take some pictures of you?"

You're a photographer so it's only natural for you to notice and capture beautiful sights, and - in your professional opinion - there is nothing in this world more beautiful than your boyfriend.

Hyunjin, however, has always been shy about letting you photograph him. He's laying on his stomach with his long legs stretched out, wearing simple grey joggers and a sleeveless top which shows off the sculpted muscles in his arms. Your eyes linger on the rounded curve of his ass, practically begging to be rubbed, smacked or bitten - you're not fussy. And neither is he.

He lets out a high-pitched groan and buries his bare face in his arms. "Why do you want to take my picture, I don't have make up on."

"You look perfect," you tell him honestly. "You always look perfect. Pleasee baby?"

He's a sucker for praise, he pretends not to like it but you see the colour dust his cheeks and his little smile peeking up through his arms. He finally relents and you run to get your camera.

It doesn't take long for Hyunjin to start enjoying himself. The boy is the biggest exhibitionist you've ever met, he loves being watched by you and it's only when the camera comes out that he gets self-conscious. But you're patient, gently coaxing him to relax, mixing in soft words of encouragement with professional directions about the best angles and poses.

You're pleasantly surprised when he pulls his shirt over his head and tosses it aside without prompting. He bites his plump lips and gazes up at you, his boldness masking the raw vulnerability underneath. Your eyes roam hungrily over his smooth chest and stomach, his rosy nipples and the dark trail of hair disappearing beneath his joggers.

A whimper from Hyunjin pulls your attention and he suddenly presses his thighs together.

"What is it baby?"

Hyunjin only shakes his head, appears to debate with himself for a moment, and then hooks his fingers into his waistband and pulls his joggers and pants down in one go. His gorgeous lean cock springs free and this time it's your turn to whimper.

He immediately presses the heel of his palm against his cock and lets out a louder, more desperate groan. That's when you remember the huge glass of water he drank earlier and realise why he's squeezing his thighs together so tightly.

"Do you have to pee baby?"

Hyunjin's face blazes red and he ducks his head shyly. "Yes."

"Are you going to pee for me?"

This is unchartered territory. Hyunjin has masturbated for you before, tugging his achingly hard leaking cock while you watch until he sprays come all over his stomach - but he's never pissed himself in front of you.

"I-I want to," he admits. "But I'm embarrassed. It's so dirty."

"I like you dirty."

This pulls another whimper. He's gripping the base of his cock so hard you can tell he's about to burst. A small spurt of pee splashes over his hand, as if he can't help himself, and he gasps - half relieved, half mortified.

"Yes that's it, my dirty boy" you tell him, your fingers slipping into your own soaked panties. "Let go."

Whether it's the sight of you touching yourself for him, or because he simply can't hold it any more Hyunjin releases his bladder. An arc of pee gushes from his cock and splashes up onto his stomach while he throws his head back and curls his toes. The man even pisses beautifully.

It's the sexiest fucking thing you've ever seen, but suddenly seeing it isn't enough.

"Stop."

His head snaps up. "W-what-"

"I said stop, Hyunjin."

He obeys, albeit with a cry of discomfort. You know he wasn't even halfway done. You strip yourself naked and walk over to him, abandoning the camera in your fevered need to touch him.

You crawl into his lap, balancing yourself on his hips and pressing your dripping pussy against the tip of his cock. Hyunjin's breath hitches as he realises what you're about to do. He grabs you and pulls you against him.

"Baby, are you sure? I can't hold it-"

"Please Hyune." You brush the hair back from his sweaty forehead. "I need it. I need to feel it inside me. Want you to piss in me, please love."

That's all the warning you give before sinking down onto his cock. Hyunjin screams with pleasure and you feel him erupt, filling your pussy with delicious warmth until it's so full his piss spills out over both of your legs.

He clings to you the whole time, alternating between loud moans and capturing your lips in desperate kisses while his body trembles beneath you.

It feels so unbelievably good you think you might actually pass out. By the time he finally finishes, you're both shaking and so turned on that he doesn't even pull out - he just fucks you hard until you come screaming his name.

-😺 anon

THOUGHT I WOULD POST THIS RN CAUSE I JUST HAD AN ANON ASKING DOR MORE FROM U… SO SEXYYYYY U R INSENANDNEE

[nouies]

hello and welcome to the last fic rec of the year featuring my favourite works from what i’ve read during the past weeks. as always, please check tags before reading. if you liked the fics please reblog their posts, leave kudos and write a nice comment. happy reading! rec tag | more rec lists

— harry/louis —  

໑ A Christmas at Home by @parmahamlarrie (T, 3k, established relationship, nurse louis, kid fic, christmas fluff) After meeting his boyfriend in the emergency room, not having Louis home for Christmas Eve (and his birthday) was not a big surprise to Harry. What he didn't expect was just how hard that would be on his six year old son, Arlo.

Or, the one where Arlo wants nothing more than to celebrate Louis' birthday with him, and Harry hates having to be the parent who says no.

໑ Could Be Kissing my Fruit Punch Lips by thecheshirepussycat / @the-cheshire-pussy-cat (E, 4.5k, strangers to lovers, college au, camboy louis, pining harry) Harry happens upon a porn site that specializes in live videos and sort of falls in love with the cute boy he only knows as Kitty.

And then he gets the surprise of his life when he finds out Kitty attends his university…

໑ Your name is tattooed to the bottom of my heart by @meloummy (E, 6.6k, canon au, established relationship, ass tattoo, light dom/sub) Prompt 114: a PWP where Louis gets an arse tattoo with Harry’s name for his birthday.

Or where Harry likes to mark what is his and receives a very special surprise fulfilling one of his fetishes; to see Louis marked for life with something related to him and in one of his favourite places.

໑ with gilded wolves on the wall by bruisedhoney / @yvesaintlourent (E, 13.3k, enemies to lovers, a/b/o game of thrones au, arranged marriage, fantasy) The Game of Thrones ABO AU where Harry is of the North, and Louis cannot be burnt.

໑ Wedding Bells Will Never Ring For Me by @lousmoonshine (E, 14.8k, exes to lovers, champagne problems au, famous louis, non-famous harry) After a failed proposal a few years back, Louis gets an unexpected invitation to his ex - Harry’s – wedding.

໑ play by the rules by @shimmeringevil (E, 21.8k, established relationship, bdsm, soft dom harry, read tags) Fed up with the excess energy that’s wreaking havoc on his personal and professional life, Louis asks his boyfriend to dom him in the hopes that it’ll help him relax. Unfortunately, Harry is a bit of a disaster when it comes to being a dom. So, Louis decides to get creative to try and encourage the dominant side out of him.

໑ tell me that your sweet love hasn't died by punk_pillow_princess / @punkpillowprincess (M, 27.4k, established relationship, happiest season au, movie inspired, hidden relationship, coming out, christmas) Louis and Harry have been in a relationship for a year. While on their way to Harry's parents' house and his family's legendary annual Christmas party, Louis discovers that Harry has not yet come out of the closet to his family, who are also full of secrets, fears and afraid of a bad reputation in town.

໑ Snow In Love by @lululawrence (NR, 33k, friends to lovers, advent fic, fake/pretend relationship) Harry and Louis are best friends and have been for basically as long as they can remember. For the first time since middle school, they are both single for the holidays leaving them with the brilliant idea to take each other as their dates to work events. To make things easier they will pretend like they’re dating. But then they learn something funny.

People thought they were already dating. Weird.

໑ Heart Beat by @allwaswell16 (E, 33.4k, acquaintances to lovers, advent fic, small town au, teacher harry, single parent louis, kid fic) Hideaway Haven is the place that Louis has always called home. It's also the place that Harry had tried to leave behind him. When Harry returns to start a music academy in his hometown, he finds himself face to face with his high school crush—and his charming daughter who wants to learn to play the drums.

— rare pairs / categories —  

໑ Chaos by @haztobegood (louis/omc, M, 100, canon, fitf tour, bodyguard) Against the barricade, it’s complete chaos.

໑ Fine Line by LadyAJ_13 / @ladyaj-13 (louis/nick grimshaw, G, 1k, established relationship, canon compliant, relationship reveal) Telling his family was always going to be a big deal, but doing it alone was a sacrifice he could make. He never thought they’d fall about laughing.

໑ Daydream by @allwaswell16 (girl direction louis/zayn, T, 2k, strangers, coffee shop au, university student louis, farmer zayn) Every Thursday, Louis nods hello to her fellow regulars at Horan’s Cafe, one of whom is the woman of her dreams.

໑ Baking Memories by @haztobegood (louis/jack cochrane, T, 2k, canon compliant, kitchen chaos, christmas baking) After a long day of songwriting, Jack convinces Louis to bake mince pies together.

໑ say yes to heaven by edensrose / @holdingthornsandroses (louis/ethan hawke, M, 2.8k, strangers to lovers, 90s theatre au, references to shakespeare) Later when he’s back at the apartment with Oli, as Louis is somewhat dreamily waxing poetic about Ethan, Oli interrupts.-

“Does he quote Shakespeare when you fuck?” he asks, poking at the sizzling eggs on the stove.

Louis’ cheeks turn suspiciously pink.

Oli peers at his face. “Oh my god, he DOES. I KNEW IT.” He triumphantly brandishes his spatula in the air.

໑ Two Stars Passing By by Stria (Asia117) / @nooradeservedbetter (niall/lewis capaldi, G, 2.9k, established relationship, a/b/o au, domestic fluff) “I’ll have you know, I’m perfectly comfortable not looking and acting like a traditional alpha.” He needs Lewis to know that, for some reason.“Sure, mr feminism,” Lewis snorts. “Come on, we’re missing the game.”

(Or, fluffy slice-of-life moments in Niall and Lewis' relationship)   ໑ One by @allwaswell16 (louis/tommy shelby, E, 4k, one night stands, pack a/b/o au, peaky blinders au, historical, pregnancy) When omega Louis Tomlinson becomes pregnant after an unexpected encounter, he decides his only option is to flee his pack. But Tommy Shelby, pack alpha of the Peaky Blinders, might not be willing to let him go so easily.

໑ it's a holidate by @disgruntledkittenface (harry/nick grimshaw, M, 4.3k, strangers to lovers, american au, company holiday party) When Nick meets Harry at his company holiday party, he never would have predicted that he’d met his match. Luckily, he’s been known to be wrong on occasion.

໑ a silent night with you by edensrose / @holdingthornsandroses (louis/lee pace, M, 7.8k, strangers to lovers, christmas au, writer louis, fake relationship louis/omc) Louis Lane. Popular British columnist and cook extraordinaire. He has a fiancé and and a sixty acre farm. Except Louis Tomlinson has none of these things. Guess who’s coming to dinner.

໑ Jump! by @reminiscingtherain (louis/tommy longhurst, M, 15.8k, strangers to lovers, canon, touring life) He let out a noise of surprise as his arms were suddenly full of a sweaty body, as Tommy threw himself at Louis and held on tightly.“Thank you so fucking much,” he muttered against Louis’ shoulder, squeezing a little. “You have no idea how much this means to us.”Louis softened a little, gently tapping Tommy’s back.“I absolutely know what this means, lad,” he replied, his voice gentle and supportive. “The way you’re reacting to being out there? That’s exactly why I chose you for the support slot.” He gave a reassuring squeeze. “You deserve this, okay?” He pulled back a little, gripping the back of Tommy’s neck and looking him in the eyes. “You deserve this.”

໑ 'tis the damn season by YesIsAWorld / @louandhazaf (girl direction hl, E, 17.9k, friends to lovers, advent fic, returning home) Harry returns to her small hometown over the holiday season and starts to think about the road not taken.

[koolades-world]

(really, you can tell me to stop if I’m asking too much!) Hello hello! Another idea popped in my head! If I may request an established relationship with fem! MC and Satan: The day before history exam she stays up quite late to get as much done as she could. She scores low, barely passing. So she evades Satan all day because any time she even looks at his direction she starts tearing up the disappointment he might feel even after helping her. Even during dinner where she normally sits with Satan, she sits with Asmo instead and absolutely avoids any eye contact. All that exhaustion, despair, and knowing her behaviour with Satan that whole day leads her to break down in her room. Meanwhile Satan approaches her room with a soft knock and voice offering help. After coming into her room, MC cries harder apologising to him about being a failure, doubts her worth, and mentions how he deserves someone much better who can really keep up with his intellect. Satan comforts MC using prompts 32, and 35! Again, edit the premise to your liking! Have a lovely day/night ahead!!

omg hi again wow so crazy seeing you here haha. no but fr it's great seeing you again :)

i love how this is the like the other side of the coin from the request i wrote yesterday, but it still ends in cute satan fluffy comfort. i love my little wrath cutie haha

sorry for no post yesterday! thought i had something queued and got sidetracked hanging out with friends :)

enjoy <3

prompts 32 and 35 w/ Satan

“You’re gonna do great. Stop stressing. I believe in you and your abilities.” That’s what Satan said to you the previous night while helping you study before you went to bed. You’d stayed up essentially all night studying even after Satan had left, and told you to get some rest. You’d really thought you’d made progress with the content, and even felt confident on the exam. For the rest of the week, your spirits were high. That quickly changed as soon as you got the test back at the end of that week.

When the professor put your test face down on your desk, you had an awfully familiar sinking feeling. After glancing around to make sure nobody was leaning over your shoulder, you flipped it over to see your score. It was a high D. Passing and slightly better than usual, but just barely. It was disappointing to say the least. After all that work you’d put in, especially the night before was for nothing. You knew you didn’t have it in you to face your boyfriend. Not after he’d helped you so much and allowed you to borrow his study materials. What had been the point of all that if your score was only a little better than usual.

While it didn’t solve your problems, you were set on avoiding Satan for the rest of the day, maybe even weekend. You couldn’t look him in the eyes after that defeat. You crammed the test into your bag, and tried your best to focus on the rest of the lesson, and maintain a semblance of normality with everyone around you. Pretending you were fine wasn’t too much of an issue until you caught sight of your favorite blond demon. You’d agreed to walk home with him today. Any other time, you’d be thrilled for such a privilege. Now, it felt more like a curse. He’d told you he’d believed in you, and you’d failed him. You felt as if you weren’t worth his time, and instead opted to head home with some friends instead. You told him they wanted to check out a store which is why the plans changed. Since he was a loving partner, he told you that was fine and that he'd see you later. But, rather than going out like you'd told him, you walked with them as far as you could and went back to the HoL.

You went up to your room, and hid the test underneath a large stack of papers on your desk. You tried to distract yourself by doing things such as reading, playing some games, watching Deviltube, and even scrolling on various social media apps, but nothing was working. You felt absolutely crushed and even remembered that the test was in the same room as you bothered you. The fact that this was the same room you'd been so confident that you'd studied well in just yesterday was like a knife to the heart. The only thing you could think might help take your mind off your utter failure was a nap. You didn't usually nap after school, but it was all you had.

At some point later, likely a few hours after you shut your eyes, Asmo woke you up with a knock at your door. "Mc! Dinner time!" He sounded as chipper as usual.

"Be right out." You quickly looked at yourself in the mirror. You didn't look too bad, so you decided to just get dinner over with so you could get back to resting and avoiding your problems.

"I feel like I've hardly seen you today. I have so much to catch you up on." Asmo took your arm and began talking your ear off. You nodded along, only half listening. It wasn't his fault, but you tried to engage with him to try and distract yourself. When you got downstairs to the table, Satan wasn't there yet, so you didn't have to look him in the eyes when you sat between Asmo and Belphie. Those who were already present seemed a little confused by this fact, but after they heard what Asmo was talking about, they made no attempt to question either of you.

At first, you thought you might be fine, but all of that went out the window as soon as Satan took his usual seat. You would normally sit beside him, but he noticed as soon as he sat down that you weren't in your seat, and instead next to Asmo. You knew he was trying to make eye contact with you, but you wouldn't. You couldn't if you didn't want to burst out into tears. As soon as dinner was over, you were the first to leave the table. Nobody made an attempt to follow you, and you hoped you could spend the rest of the evening by yourself. Maybe you'd feel better tomorrow.

You laid in bed, staring up at the ceiling, when you heard a knock at your door. You remained silent, waiting for a voice from the other side. 'Mc, it's Satan. Please let me in. I'd like to talk." While you knew he probably just wanted to comfort you, it only caused you to spiral. You couldn't help but think that your behavior and that awful test score might have made him want to break up with you. After he heard you sniffling, he gently cracked the door.

"What's the matter?" Satan sat down beside you, placing a hand on your back. When you didn't answer, he tried soothing you. "I'm here to help. I'm not upset with you, or anything. If you don't want to talk about it, that's fine, but please don't shut me out." There was nothing you could do to slow the tears. The two of you sat together without speaking for a little bit before you trusted your voice again.

"I got a D on that test that I studied really hard for. The one you helped me with." You felt ashamed saying it out loud.

"Is that why you've been avoiding me today? Love, I'm not mad at you. I know how hard you worked, and the fact that you tried is all that matters to me." He swiped away the tears his thumb, flicking them away.

"It didn't matter. I still did bad." You mumbled.

"I'm sure you still improved, right? That shows that your efforts paid off. Besides, if you're worried about your grade, there's still time to get it back up. I'll help you." Satan sounded hopeful.

"I'm not worth your time. Clearly I'm beyond help. I didn't improve that much. You shouldn't worry about me." You were trying to avoid saying those words, but you felt, no, you knew he could find someone who was more suited for him.

"I care about you. I help you because I love you. I enjoy our time together, and I know how resilient you are. You don't give up, and that's very admirable. To me, you're perfect. I don't care what anyone else says." He hugged you.

"You deserve someone smarter than me, someone who actually understands the lessons and doesn't fail every test. You can do better than me," you told him.

"Have I ever told you you're my favorite human?" Satan proposed a theoretical question, trying to look at the situation from a different light.

"You're just saying that to make me feel better." You didn't know how many humans he knew outside of you and Solomon, but the bar didn't seem very high.

"There's many reasons why you're my favorite. You see me for me, and you're my number one supporter. In comparison to everyone else I know, I haven't known you nearly as long, but yet you're still at the top of that list. You're so special to me. Do you think I'd throw everything we have out the window just because of a test score?" He turned to look you in the eyes. You looked back, seeing the sincerity in his gaze.

"Are you sure?" He sounded like he meant it, but you could never be too sure. It could all be some cruel joke and he might take it back at any moment.

"Why wouldn't I be? I'm lucky to have found such a catch like you." He gave you a smile, one that made you fall for him initially.

"I love you." While his words didn't erase the bad score, you felt much better about it now. He loved you for you, not because of superficial reasons like you feared. It was strange in retrospect that you found comfort in what some might consider the devil himself, but you were both happy, and that's all that matters.

[firstelevens]

1 or 11 for the intimacy prompts, if you'd like?

11. sharing secrets

Sam switches his phone to his other hand as he empties the dishwasher, too caught up in gossiping with Sarah to end their call.

"--you remember how they made all that noise about how they'd never been so insulted in their lives, and they were never ever coming back to Delacroix again? Tell me why I saw them at Miss Lynette's this morning, first people in line for a cinnamon roll."

Sarah's been busy at the docks all morning, so her scandalized gasp is expected. What's not expected is the response that he gets from the general direction of the couch, where Bucky has been posted up for the last hour, reading a book that, by his own description, is about time travel but also the Napoleonic Wars.

"It's 'cause their grandson's gonna propose to Nessa Tremaine at her birthday party this weekend, and they don't want to miss their chance to butt in."

When Sam nudges the cutlery drawer shut and turns to look at Bucky, his face is still hidden behind his book.

"There's no way that's true," says Sam. They've all met Nessa's boyfriend Leo; surely they'd have heard if his grandparents were the same people who'd managed to end up in a blood feud with half the island.

"What?" asks Sarah. "What did he say?"

"He said the Wrights are Leo's grandparents, which is--"

Sarah gasps, effectively cutting him off. "Of course! He's Nadine's son, isn't he? That's why he looks so familiar; he looks just like his mom."

Sam looks over at Bucky again to find that he's put the book down, smirking at Sam from across the room.

"Sarah, I'm gonna have to call you back," says Sam, and pretends not to hear her laughing at him as he hangs up.

"Something wrong, Samuel?" asks Bucky, far too innocently.

Sam crosses his arms. "How is it that even Sarah didn't know the thing about the Wrights, but you did?"

"A gentleman never reveals his sources."

"I'm pretty sure that's a journalist," says Sam drily. "Why are you being so cagey?"

"I'm not being cagey," Bucky says. "You're just jealous that I knew a piece of Delacroix gossip before you did."

"No, I'm not," says Sam, and already knows that he's fooling no one. "I just want to know who told you."

"Well, what's in it for me?"

"How about not having to spend the night on the couch?"

Bucky looks up at Sam, the corner of his mouth twitching. "You know I have my own bedroom, right?"

"Yeah? When's the last time you used it?"

They stare each other down for a moment longer, but eventually, Bucky relents.

"Alright, fine," he says. "I'm only telling you 'cause I'm pretty sure Alpine has staked her claim on my bedroom and I'm not getting it back: I heard it from Miss Colette."

"When could you possibly have heard it from Miss Colette? She lives with her son in Baton Rouge." Although to be fair, if anyone in Delacroix would know, it would be Miss Colette, who'd been one of the town's oldest residents before she'd finally moved.

"She was down visiting Miss Nina last month; I saw her when I was helping with the porch."

"I see," says Sam, "so you were busy gossiping when you should have been working, huh?"

"I can multitask, Samuel," says Bucky, primly. "And what was I gonna do, refuse a glass of that hibiscus lemonade when she offered?"

"Fine," says Sam. "That all makes sense. No one in their right mind says no to Miss Nina's lemonade. But you sat on this information for a month?"

"They told it to me in confidence, Sam."

"Yeah, but everybody knows that 'in confidence' over drinks on the porch means, 'don't put it in the newspaper but you can tell your husband if he's not chatty.'"

"Absolutely nobody knows that, Sam; that's--" Bucky stops mid-sentence, tilting his head in confusion. He furrows his eyebrows and makes the same face he does when he's reviewing intel. "Did you say 'husband'?"

There's a denial halfway out of Sam's mouth before he thinks about it for a moment and realizes that he did. "Maybe?"

He's braced for teasing, but instead, Bucky's just quiet for a moment before he nods, a small smile on his face. "Okay," he says.

"Okay?"

Bucky nods again, patting the spot beside him on the couch. "So do you want to hear the rest of Miss Colette's gossip, or not?"

Obviously, he does.

[starkstruck27]

My sixth fill for @harringrovesummerbingo!! I kinda cheated a little with this one, as they aren't technically 'walking', but I wanted to do something from a different perspective, so this is it. Prompt + Space: Walking hand in hand in public, A2 Title: Hold me Close and Hold me Fast Major Tags: None Rating: General Word Count: 1638 words Additional Tags: Photography, Closeted characters, Assumptions, Assumed relationship, Accidental voyeurism, But not in a dirty way, Secret relationship Summary: Jonathan and Nancy are working for the Hawkins Post during the summer of '84, and their latest assignment is to get pictures for the article about the new mall that opened up. While looking through their shots, though, Jonathan notices something interesting… Also on: Ao3

“Hey, Nance, c’mere a sec,” Jonathan said from across the darkroom, squinting at the freshly developed picture in his hand. It was one of many that he’d taken earlier that day at the new mall that’d just opened up, and they’d be running in the next issue of the Hawkins Post next to the article about said opening. Now they were just developing them, and then they’d pick the best few to print along with the article. But as he was looking through his shots, Jonathan noticed something he hadn’t at the time of taking the picture, and he had no idea what to do with it now, except get Nancy to take a look at it and confirm he wasn’t seeing things.

“What’s up?” She asked as she walked over, peering over his shoulder at the picture.

“Am I crazy or do you see that, too?” Jon asked, handing her the picture.

“See what, exactly?”

“That,” Jon said, pointing to the background of the picture. It was one of the ones he’d taken of the front entrance of the mall, slightly off to the left side to make the perspective seem more impressive. It was a great picture, probably one of the top contenders to go with the article, until he noticed the two people leaned up against the side of the building in the background of the shot.

“Okay, what about them?” Nancy asked as she studied the shot, trying to see what it was her boyfriend saw.

“They’re holding hands,” he said, as if there was something more to it.

“Okay? Lots of people hold hands, what’s your point?”

“Lots of people aren’t Steve and Billy Hargrove,” Jonathan said, pointing at the picture again and making Nancy look a little closer. “That is them, right?”

“I think so, but that doesn’t make sense. I know they’ve cooled down from wanting to kill each other on sight, but I don’t think they’re that friendly. Are you sure they’re holding hands?”

“Pretty sure. I mean, it’s a little blurry, but the angle certainly makes it look that way. And if they were just sharing a smoke, there’s no reason they’d need to be that close together. What else could it be?”

“I don’t know. Wow, I didn’t even know Steve swung that way, let alone that he’d go for someone like Billy,” Nancy said, lowering her voice a bit. 

“Neither did I, I never would’ve guessed,” Jon said, taking the picture back again. “So, what should we do with this, then?”

“Well, we obviously can’t run it with the story. I guess we should give it back to them.”

“Why don’t we just throw it away?”

“Because one, somebody could find it, and while I don’t think anyone would really notice and put two and two together, I don’t think we should risk it. You know word travels fast around here, and if Steve’s parents ever got wind of this, they’d probably ship him off to military school within a day. And who knows what Billy would do if anyone even dared to wonder about him. Besides, I don’t want to make assumptions, and I’d feel weird knowing something like this without them telling me themselves. It’d make things more awkward than they already are.”

“Yeah, but you remember how Steve reacted the last time I caught something I shouldn’t have on film, and I really like this camera. And I also happen to like my face, I would prefer not to have it rearranged if Billy flies off the handle.”

“Oh come on, Jon, Steve apologized for the last time, and at least this time it was an accident. He won’t go near your camera. And if you’re worried about Billy, you can hide behind me if you want. I’m sure he’d never hit a girl, it’ll be fine,” Nancy said, taking the picture and stuffing it in her purse. “Once we finish up here for the day, we’ll stop by Steve’s house and talk to him.”

The rest of the work day went by way too fast for Jonathan’s liking, he was not looking forward to confronting Steve with what he’d captured. Before he knew it, it was five o’clock, and he was gathering his things up to take home and punching out with Nancy hot on his heels. Unfortunately, it’d been her turn to drive today, so he couldn’t even pretend that he’d forgotten and taken her home, and he just had to wait as she steered her car towards Steve’s house.

The house was just as big and intimidating as he remembered it, just like the guy who lived inside. Jon had only been inside it once, at a party back in freshman year, before he realized how much he hated parties and being around large groups of people in general. But even with only one or two people inside, he was more afraid of it now then he had been then. Still, Nancy was determined to get this off her mind, so Jon didn’t argue as he followed her up to the big French doors and knocked.

“Oh, uh,” Steve said as he answered them, keeping the door open just enough that only he was visible, “Nance, Jonathan, what are you guys doing here? Is there something wrong with… y’know…?”

“No, no, nothing like that,” Nancy said, smiling brightly, “May we come in?”

“Um, now’s not really a great time…” Steve said, avoiding eye contact as he scratched the back of his neck.

“It’ll only take a second, Steve. It’s important,” Nancy continued, nudging Jon, who nodded along while also avoiding Steve’s eyes. Nancy didn’t, though. She looked at Steve head on and gave him a face that he must’ve known meant that she meant business, because finally, with a quick glance behind him into his living room, he let them in. He closed the door behind them and then turned to lean against it, obviously not wanting them to go any further. 

“What is it?” He asked, getting a bit antsy as he started tapping his foot.

“We have something to show you,” Nancy said, opening her purse and making Jonathan break out into a cold sweat. Steve eyed both of them curiously as Nancy took out the picture, handing it to him and standing up straight as she said, “We took this picture earlier today at the mall, the Post is running an article about the grand opening and they wanted a visual element. But when we developed the film, we found something we didn’t know we’d captured and we wanted to do the right thing.”

“What are you talking about?” Steve asked, glancing over the picture quickly. He didn’t see anything wrong with it.

“That’s you and Hargrove, isn’t it? You’re holding his hand,” Nancy said, pointing to the two in the background and Steve’s eyes went wide. He tried to say something but he was too panicked, and he kept looking back and forth between Nancy, Jon and the picture.

“L-look, Steve, I didn’t even know you were there when I took it! I only noticed later and Nancy said we should tell you but I was just gonna get rid of it, I swear!” Jon babbled, taking a tiny step behind Nancy as Steve finally closed his mouth and looked at them.

“He’s telling the truth, Steve,” Nancy said, “He just wanted to get rid of it, but I said we should tell you about it. I wouldn’t have felt right jumping to conclusions and especially not if I jumped to the right ones and then knew something you didn’t want me to know. So I made him come here with me to give you both the picture and the film, that way you know we aren’t trying to keep anything from you.”

“I-I, um,” Steve cleared his throat, “I don’t know what to say.”

“You don’t have to say anything, we just thought you should know,” Nancy said, smiling nicely as she stepped forward to hug him. “And just so you know, we won’t tell a soul. Make sure Hargrove gets the message too, alright?”

“I will,” Steve said, hugging her back and finally starting to calm down a little. “Thanks.”

“Yeah, sure,” Jon said, finally regaining some confidence as he shrugged. “Thanks for, y’know, not getting pissed.”

Steve gave a small shrug and an only half-strained smile at that remark as he showed them out, waving as he made sure they got in their car okay. Nancy smiled and waved back as they drove off, poking Jon lightly in the side as she stopped at a stop sign.

“See, that wasn’t so bad, was it?” She teased, steering her car down the road.

“I guess not. I’m just glad Hargrove wasn’t there, he’d have probably beaten the shit outta me,” Jon said, shrugging again.

“Oh, he was definitely there,” Nancy said.

“What?”

“Yeah, you didn’t notice? Steve almost didn’t let us in, and he wouldn’t let us go past the foyer, there was obviously someone else there. And I saw his shoes by the door.”

“Shit, do you think he’ll come after us for this?”

“I doubt it. He has no reason to now that Steve has the pictures. Besides, you were worried about Steve, but he’s changed from the person he was two years ago. Maybe he’s helping Billy to change from the person he was when he first moved here,” Nancy shrugged.

“Maybe. I hope you’re right,” Jonathan said, shrugging as well.

“I am. I know Steve, and he wouldn’t date anyone who would hurt the people he cares about. And if Billy does end up coming after us, I’ll protect you,” Nancy grinned, taking Jonathan’s hand and squeezing it.

“I’m holding you to that,” he said, but he smiled and squeezed back.

[lonesome-witching]

Memory Lane

Late posting because my mom just got home from a trip and things have been busy. Anyway, today we go back to some previous prompts and dive into the no way home spiderman ronance au. (Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 )

Do you have any prompts yourself? Or do you want to dive into what I wrote before? You can read my previous prompts or send me some new ones.

“What are you reading?” Robin asked as she walked into the room. Nancy tried not to look up, but she couldn’t refrain herself. Robin’s hair was stuck to her face, her spiderman outfit tight around her muscles.

“A book on memory loss.”

Robin stopped walking. “It’s not going to work.”

Nancy closed the book. “That might be so, but I didn’t find any books on magic.”

“I don’t think there is anything we can do to bring your memory back.”

“I refuse to believe that.”

Robin sat down on the couch in Nancy’s apartment. They’d been doing this often. Robin coming over as if she belonged there. They’d kiss sometimes. Or they’d watch a movie, or they would talk until the sun came up. It felt an awful lot like a relationship. Nancy wouldn’t mind if it was one.

“Is there anything I can do to help?” Robin sighed.

“Do you have any ideas? You know much more about magic than I do.”

“Well, in reality I don’t know all that much about magic. I just got some help from— Never mind. I don’t really know what could help, sorry.”

Nancy nodded her head.

-

Robin hadn’t been all too excited to take a trip down memory lane. But she did it anyway. For Nancy. It was plain to see that she didn’t like being here. The here in question was the Starcourt mall.

“This is where we first met. Or at least, seriously met. I had a job over there, at Scoops Ahoy, with Steve. And you were here with your boyfriend, Jonathan, when this freak monster attacked. It was after closing, but Steve would allow you stay longer because he wanted to get you back. I didn’t have the time to put my suit on, so I just went for it in that stupid sailor uniform. After I saved your life, you know what you said?”

Nancy shook her head. She liked listening to Robin’s voice. “I wish I did.”

“I saved your lives and you just looked at me and said, ‘who are you?’ It was kind of hilarious.”

“I did not say that,” Nancy gasped.

“You sure did. Nothing coming back to you yet?”

“No, sorry.”

“It’s alright, it’s not your fault.”

“Maybe we should try roleplaying. You in that sailor uniform with the short shorts?” Nancy suggested with a teasing smile on her face.

“Is that something you’re into? Because I still have that uniform in the back of my closet.”

Nancy hummed.

-

They were sitting across from each other. Candles and fully filled plates in between them.

“Our first date.”

“You were romantic.”

“Actually, you organized it. You cooked and everything. It was lovely.”

Nancy cleared her throat. She had never put much effort in her dates. Steve and Jonathan had been forced to do all the work. She couldn’t imagine doing this much for someone. And yet, she believed it.

“In that case we didn’t mimic it all that well. You cooked tonight.”

“Well, yeah. I remember what we had for dinner, and I thought it’d be easier if I just went ahead and made it. We can always try again with you cooking.”

“I’m honestly a very bad cook. I doubt I ever cooked for you.”

Robin chuckled. “That is true. You’re not a good cook.”

“Oh, so that’s why you cooked tonight, huh?”

Robin bit her bottom lip.

-

“Hypnosis,” Nancy said, dropping her books on the kitchen table.

“What?” Robin looked up from her plate.

“Hypnosis. It’s said to work for amnesia, and I don’t know how else to explain what I have. It’s worth a shot.”

“Alright.”

“So, are we gonna do it?”

“You want me to hypnotize you?”

“Well, yeah. I don’t want to go to some stranger and accidentally tell him that you are spiderman.”

Robin nodded. “That’s fair. There is just one problem.”

“What is that?”

“I don’t know how to hypnotize people.”

“I’m sure it’s not that difficult. I got you some books on it. Here you go.” She pushed the pile towards Robin.

“Alrighty then.”

-

“So, lay down and relax.” Robin was still holding the book as she directed her.

“Okay.” Nancy did as she was told, leaning back on her couch.

“Now, close your eyes.”

She almost didn’t want to. But she had no choice. This had been her idea and she wanted to remember.

“Okay, good. Now listen to my voice. You’re going to imagine a flight of stairs and with every step you’ll sink further into your subconscious. Take the first step.”

Nancy tried her best to do exactly what Robin was asking of her. But she couldn’t feel anything. Not after the first step or the second or the third. Eventually she was supposed to be as deep as she could, but it felt like she was just there. With Robin. In the now, not in the past.

“Now, try to remember me. Try to dig deep into your mind and go back to the past.”

Nancy tried. She went as far back as she could. She remembered her childhood, her younger brother, Mike, and her sister, Holly. She backpedaled and remembered meeting Steve. Their relationship. Then Jonathan. She should be close. But when she remembered Starcourt, she couldn’t remember Robin. Nowhere in her mind was any sign of Robin until that recent encounter. Until their reconnection.

“It’s not working,” Nancy said, sitting up.

“I didn’t think it would.” But Robin looked so sad as she said it.

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s not your fault, it was my decision.”

“We can make new memories.”

“Yes, we can. Where should we start.” Robin put the book away.

“Well, I really would like to see you in that sailor uniform.”