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smokinsid · 6 months

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Late Night People

Summer. 2:15 AM. College of Synergetics, Level 3 – REAPER Lab, Rata Sum.

Enid looked wearily at a crumpled pack of cigarettes, then back at her holo-screen. On her desk, a little girl in a big red hat grinned up at her tired face, looking as bright and proud as the midday sun.

For a few weeks now, her research had been chasing its tail. Relative Extraplanar studies- thrill that they were, giving a scientist cause to go sliding orthogonal to the three-dimensional Tyria into realms unknown- were still a headache, at their core. Was a mortal body meant to move that way, or see those things?

“Yes!” Came a low, sonorous showman’s voice from across the room. The attuned crystal in her radio blinked and pulsed in time with every syllable. “And I’ll tell you what else, my friends- if Balthazar can bite the dust, if Kralkatorrik can kick it- then what is there out there for us to worry about? The Arcane Council keeping secrets, hiding things from us? Well, we know why they do that- the slow dissemination of what they really know is what’s keeping them in their seats, after all.”

Smoke Signals with Sidney Figleaf. Venlin Vale Radio, 103.3 K-R-U-E.

The call letters came to her mind automatically. And that voice- “Smokin’ Sid,” on the radio- was her brother.

They hadn’t talked in a while. Maybe she should call him. It had been a long time since the big blowup, after all- and Rucks had turned out alright so far. Still young enough to come back to college.

“Coming up in the next half-hour, we’ll have open lines here on Smoke Signals. Tune your crystals to 1.333.1033- again that’s 1.333.1033, for the Smoke Signals hotline. Call now and get queued up- the subject tonight? Strange lights in the sky! Stranger than usual, anyway. Have you seen them? Tell us all about it. --And now, a word from our sponsors.”

As a jingle played for Royal Kournan cigars, followed by an ad for Oozeley’s Sure-Fire Detergent, she drummed her fingers on the desk and frowned at the blue-gray little crystal in front of her, mounted in a ring of brass.

“Oozeley’s, Sure-Fire,

Made from the goo you trust,

Oozeley’s, Sure-Fire,

For stains, it is a must!”

It was now or never. She grabbed the little brass ring and rotated the pointed crystal within, spinning it like a dial toward the numbers etched into the metal edge. In seconds she was connected, and a pleasant, modulated golem’s voice greeted her.

“You’ve reached the 103.3, K-R-U-E, call-in hotline! Your queue position is currently... SIX. Please hold. Your call will be on the air shortly. Remember to shut down your radio receiver before speaking, to eliminate static and echo. Thank you for calling Venlin Vale Radio.”

Soft jazz rose from the vibrating surface of the crystal, tickling her ear. She set it down on the table and huffed.

She had plenty of time to hang up if she wanted.

“Subject is mysterious lights in the sky- mysteriouser than usual, I should say. Caller number two, you’re on the air.”

Oh, Alchemy. He’s just picking lines at random.

“Am I on the air with Smokin’ Sid?”

“Yes, that’s me. Please turn off your radio, sir, for the feedback. Now, what’s your name, and what do you have to report?”

“Uh, name’s Putt. Work outta Statics.”

“Ah, a fellow Statics, ahem, alum. Wonderful. And what did you see?”

“Well, this was a couple weeks ago, late one night in Brisban- we were listening to the show while we were on stakeout, watching the bandit gangs drift here and there.”

“Ah, sounds like you’re working a security detail. I’d ask you how things are going with the gangs, but let’s focus on the scene overhead.”

“Right, well- me and the fellas like to shoot skeet to kill time,”

“Careful friend, this is radio,”

“Y’know, like clay pigeons, we got some with glow-in-the-dark paint.”

“Ah.”

“And so I was up top of the watchtower, throwing ‘em here and there when I heard the word ‘pull,’ that kind of thing.”

“Putting some lights in the sky yourself, as it were.”

“Mm- so we’ve done a few rounds of this, and I throw another one, and Creidon- big fella, Lionguard, down at ground level, he puts a crossbow bolt through it, sure as sunrise.”

“But...?”

“It got stuck, Sid.”

“In the... clay pigeon?”

“No- well, not as such. It’s like, it punched through the pigeon and hit something else. Something round. Like... shoot, I’m gonna sound crazy.”

“Not on my show, friend.”

“Like a bubble, in the sky. Like someone got a straw under the sky and blew real hard and just... warped it out. The stars looked all stretched and distorted close to the pigeon, got more normal the further out you went.”

“As if the sky itself was... closer, there?”

“Yeah! Damnedest thing I ever saw! Bowed in like the ceiling on a first-floor dorm when the toilet upstairs overflows.”

“Remarkable.”

“The pigeon- and the bolt- just clung to it. And then it sorta... deflated? Just slowly receding until the sky looked normal again. It took both with it! We never got ‘em back.”

“Wow. Not quite what I expected to hear when it comes to lights in the sky, but that certainly is mysterious. Thank you, Putt- the Smoke Signals Research Team will put some time into this one, I’m sure.”

Enid had already taken a few steps away from the crystal, drawing up astronomical charts of the sky over Brisban and running numerous calculations and simulations. A ‘bubble’ in the sky could be any number of things- in her mind, it was some burdensome patch of mist, pushing on the fabric of Tyria. A mistquake? A mist… sinkhole?

“Caller number… six! You’re live on Smoke Signals. Go ahead and turn off your radio, feedback and all that. I need a name, and- what did you see in the sky, lately?”

“…Could’ve been the movement of a human god, they make quite a dent- haven’t heard from Melandru in a minute, have they?”

“Caller number six? Are you there? –Do turn off your radio, please and thank you, for the feedback, then start with a name.”

“Of course, if it isn’t the movement of a god… can we rule out dragons now? Are they done?” She poked at the holo-screen and flipped through archive files.

“…Enid?”

Enid let out a horrible gasp and slapped her radio, then spun away from the screen and rounded on the crystal.

“—Am I on the air? Shoot, I missed it!”

“No, no, you didn’t miss it. Bit of a rocky start, but I’m feeling generous tonight. Now, ah… name, as I said, and, what exactly did you see?”

“Oh, I’m… Enid. I work here on the third level of Synergetics, and…”

“Enid! I knew it was you! Distinguished listeners, we’re hearing live, the voice of my dear sister. It’s been ages. I’m surprised to hear you saw something ‘weird,’ Nid- you always had a pretty high bar.”

In his smoky studio, Sid was secretly reeling. He leaned away from the microphone and pat a box of Shadhavar Wides against his palm to pack them, then fumbled for a little silver lighter. The etching of a bikini-clad human winked up at him as he struck the wheel and took a long, steadying drag.

“Well… hm. What your first caller said caught my attention, so I was in the middle of researching that.

“The- the Brisban case, with Putt? You jumped on it that quick?”

“While I was on hold.”

“Wow. But, ah… do you have your own sighting to report? Something for the audience to chew on?”

Enid tapped her bottom lip and huffed.

“Well, I don’t want anyone to think too much of this, but I have seen something. About three weeks ago. I was up north- in Grothmar, the Charr territory?”

“Beautiful weather up there. Even the storms are nice.”

“Uh-huh. Well, I was studying post-Kralkatorrik brand radiation- the corruption is persistent, you see, and when you have a steady source like a dragon, that’s to be expected. Without it, the flow should ebb and the radiation should begin to decay. But I think that due to the crystalline structure of the corrupted materials, the magic is finding these facets to bounce around on, conserving angular momentum and-“

“Nid, I love ya, but this is dead air. Lights? Sky? We getting there?”

She sighed and rolled her eyes. Right. Sid and Sid’s audience. Lowest common denominator.

“It was a symmetrical cymatic response- that is to say, we used our instruments to mess with the cluster of corrupted material on the ground, and were able to have a second team in the mists check their location with identical instruments. We’d make a tone, they’d detect a tone.”

“More of a sound in the sky, but I’m with ya so far. So this krewe, on the other side of the veil, so to speak, they could hear the sound you were making, and… what?”

“Well, that’s the revolutionary thing, Sid. It’s the first time we’ve been able to accurately, linearly map the coordinates of a location in the mists, as it relates to a location in Tyria! By measuring the offset between the two, we were able to calculate that the mists themselves are at an orthogonal angle to standard Tyria- our North is their West!”

“…Fascinating. And the implications are… staggering, I’m sure.”

Her expression flattened and she ran a hand across her face. Lights. In the sky. Right. Let’s get to that before he moves on.

“So this relates to Putt’s bubble, you see. The fact that it welled up at all, how it moved, where it came from- to your listeners’ great satisfaction, we did see lights in the sky that we couldn’t explain. Not a bubble, no- but I theorize we saw the shear between Tyria and the mists. Sending such a direct signal from one to the other had an effect on the boundary between realms… and somebody, we speculate, didn’t appreciate that.”

“Oh. Oh! Hey, that’s juicy, you should have started with that! No flair for the dramatic, this one. So let’s get into that, specifically- what did you see, that gave ya cause to speculate that?”

“At first we thought that we’d kicked up a storm. Cloud-to-cloud lightning, and lots of it. But… I hate to hand it to the humans, especially after the Balthazar thing, but they might be onto something with some of their gods.”

“You saw one?”

“We saw a hand. Specifically, the underside of one. Curling fingers, drawing across the realm-shear, constructed out of lightning. It was vague at first, but as the digits moved, there was no mistaking it.”

“Wild stuff, sis. I wanna take a shot in the dark here, because I know you- I know there’s more at play here than just you seeing something. Did your krewe in the mists see something too?”

“That’s the kicker. They saw the other side of the hand. They thought they were having tech issues, an overloaded crystal somewhere, until screens started blowing out and lightning started leaping everywhere. Had to evacuate their work camp while huge knuckles made of static discharge just sort of… raked through their whole shop, destroying anything they couldn’t carry out. Made a circular motion, seemed to… stir up the mists? Maybe… froth them back up, after we’d thinned them out?”

“Holy crap. Now that’s the kind of mystery I’m talkin’ about! The nature of the human gods, or whatever they are! Why would it do that? Does this mean that gods are making other lights in the sky? Did a god blow Putt’s bubble? We gotta get some humans on the line- they got experts, right? Like, uh… religious… scholars?”

“Isn’t that a bit of an oxymoron?”

“Nid, be nice. We take all kinds here on Smoke Signals. –Speaking of which, our next caller’s been on the line quite some time, waiting for their chance. Boy, but this was a doozy. I’m gonna run a golem down to your lab with my personal number. Maybe the Smoke Signals research team can lend a hand with this, huh? –‘Til next time, though, goodnight!”

“…Yeah, see ya around, Sid.”

“Thank you for calling 103.3, K-R-U-E, Venlin Vale Radio!” A familiar automated voice chimed. “You have been disconnected! Please wait five minutes before placing another call!”

And then the line went quiet, the crystal dark.

She turned on her radio and returned to the holo-screen.

“—aller number one, you’ve been awfully patient, you must have something reeeeeeally important to share! Turn off your radio and give us your name, if you please.”

As the next caller regaled Sid with tales of a “boat” they saw in the sky as they were hiking in Dzalana, Enid immediately tuned out.

Sid… she really didn’t have any reason to want his respect. In fact, he should be treating a professor of her caliber with a little more deference, when you really looked at the situation from the outside in. But here he was, regionally-famous radio host, urging her to get to the ‘good parts’ of her research and shooing her off the air when he thought she’d said enough.

Why did that cut so deep? As nice as it was to talk, it was painfully one-sided.

She knew he had a good mind. An inquisitive and dutiful mind. He’d volunteered to serve in Orr, after all, and was instrumental in reporting troop movements back to Claw Island over secured channels and providing music to those same troops over unsecured channels, using just deft hands and a junky set of equipment he’d cobbled together.

She was finishing her first doctorate at the time, too young for the Priory to deploy her- and too young for the College of Synergetics to let go of her, besides. When the news came back, she really thought of her older brother as a hero. Silly old Sid, a war reporter.

But maybe he was just a nicotine-stained, slimy, self-serving, cabbage-fucking-

She took a deep breath and shook her head. He had given her a lot of airtime to tell a complicated story, and he was sending along a means to talk privately, finally!

But it was the ‘he had given’ part she took painful umbrage with. How is it that he’s always in charge of these things? Effortlessly, as if it’s his right? There was a real mystery. Lights in the sky are easy to explain compared to that.

She continued to grumble as she prodded at the screen. As the pink holographic text started to blur, she looked away and found herself staring at the framed photo of her daughter, grinning up at her with gap teeth and bright eyes.

“He’s repulsive. Rucks, how did he ever get in your head? If you had focused on your studies, you’d be here in the city with me, instead of…”

She couldn’t remember the name. Some backward human fishing village across the sea.

Enid pulled open a drawer and retrieved a bag of hard candy. It was right next to her cigarettes- Skrittmann’s Menthol Silver Slim 120s. She frowned at the half-full softpack and shut the drawer, then popped a thumb-sized cylinder of blue raspberry into her cheek.

The clock struck 3:00 am, and there was a knock at the door.

“It’s open,” she called out. The interlocking hatch doors slid apart, and a golem stumped into the room, carrying a teal holopad in one hand and a book in the other. She met it halfway and it held its hands up in an oddly childlike fashion, offering both at once.

“This must be the private number, and… what’s this, now?”

She took the book and frowned at the cover, reading aloud in a flat, irritated voice:

“Up In Smoke – One Asura’s Journey from Lowlife to High Life, and How You Can Too.”

Alchemy fucking preserve me, it’s signed.

She scowled at the silver paint-pen signature across the dustcover, and flipped to the first page.

To Spokes- it takes balls the size of honeydews to ride a ten-speed through Malchor’s Leap, and you did it every day. I might have quit radio altogether if you hadn’t brought me those letters from Camp Narthex.

“DEDICATION

To the 113th Ground Artillery Regiment- you guys were a real peach to bivouac with. Sorry about the latrine. You’re welcome for the case of Gorepelt Supreme I found- didn’t take us long to get through those bottles, did it?

To Professor Qlatt, Statics Earthworks Division- sorry I kept putting stuff in my nose, man. I got an attention span you could fit in a teaspoon with room to spare, and you sure were patient. I ain’t coming back, but if you want that homework I owe ya, I eventually filled it out.

To Ma & Pa- I just hope you’re glad I figured out something to do.

And to my sister, Enid. You don’t just make them proud, you make me proud, too. It’s a big ask, but keep achieving for the both of us. When I say you’re Council material, it’s the only time in my life I’ve ever not meant it as an insult.”

Enid swallowed, frowned, and pat the golem on the head, sending it clunking off back into the hall.

“Guess I’ll call him,” she exhaled through her teeth.

“Just… maybe tomorrow.”

She set the book face-down on her workbench and took another deep breath, then turned her eyes back up to the screen.

She’d never admit it, but they both wanted the answer to the same question.

Just what is going on up there, anyway?

#gw2 #guild wars 2 #smokin' sid #synchroneer enid #rata sum #kralkatorrik

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lol-jackles · 10 months

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Okay, maybe the Ackleses can conquer the industry with their understanding of PR. How did HBO senior executives decide that they could fix people's reactions to mediocre shows by using sock accounts to argue with people on Twitter? To make it even stupider, they also ticked off the poor underling they assigned the job, so much that he threw it into a court case over working conditions at the company. LMAO at these overpaid clowns.

https://www.hollywoodreporter.com/business/digital/hbo-chief-casey-bloys-fake-twitter-accounts-1235634912/

Link. You mean social media can be used as a weapon? You don't say?!

Like, is anyone really surprised? My former colleagues were more mad that Boyd couldn’t be assed to make his own fake Twitter account but had to tell an underling to do it. But I was, come on, most companies have a staffer or two doing sneaky social media things like this, pushing their narrative. Hello, ever been on the Apple TV online discourse? Apple has some good shows, but online discourse would make you think that they were already way out ahead of golden era HBO. No doubt there are some dedicated Apple fans, but I find it hard to believe that level of devotion was natural. And you know Amazon Prime does this, as they're the most desperate to have a cultural impactful show.

At least Mittens ran his own secret legendary Pierre Delecto account.

Why this was news is because Bloys isn’t some newly jumped-up exec or business major in tv flailing with failing products. He’s a veteran producer who’s been extremely successful at HBO for a decade plus. Why is he so thin skinned and defensive? Why does he care so much when he’s been so successful? While his excuse-explanation is having too much time on his hand during Covid sounds eye rolling, there is a grain of truth. Remember when I said here and here that what previously didn't bother executives were bothering them during the pandemic lockdown. It was why Misha suddenly scrambled to say (unprompted) three times that he and Jared got along and it was the fault of J2 fans for tainting his reputation, not because of his army of minions who lost what's left of their singe braincell over not getting canon-Destiel like he ambiguously promised for over a decade.

An assistant named Sully Temori, who is now suing HBO for wrongful termination, was given the task in June 2020 to write responses troll with X account of Kelly Shepherd, a so-called mom and herbalist from Texas with 4 followers. The troll targeted critics for being a middle aged white man who was “shitting on a show about women” i.e. The Nevers. Gee, those words sound familiar, right? It's 80% of what SJW say online whenever they come across something they don't like and can't handle different opinions.

HBO is best TV brand with the most number of Emmy wins (just ignore that HBO has the most number of members in the TV academy). So like in the article, people were surprised that a successful veteran executive would do this. Except you see it all the time: celebrities, accomplished directors, and athletes going nuts on twitter replying to random accounts with 8 followers, "No @BigDickTerry6969, You're the one who SUCKS!!!".

One of my nieces is in the industry and doing well enough that she said if she ever gets famous enough, she will use some of the money to put guardrails in place to keep her from googling herself or reading twitter threads about her. She also wants me to act like an addiction-recovery sponsor that she can call in the middle of the night with, "We just dropped a new episode and I really just want to know what people think, that's fine right? I just want honest feedback.". And I will be, "No, you don't, you have to resist that urge. I want you to go outside and look stars, okay?"

Honestly, reading about Boyd's antics was like reading John Grisham's The Pelican Brief and The Firm and getting to the Big Bad reveal and end up having Big Disappointment staring back at you. Tom Cruise at least improved the movie adaptation of The Firm.

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terraf1rma · 2 years

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𝐅𝐈𝐑𝐒𝐓 𝐘𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐒.

Oh aren't they just the kindest? Always greeting you with warm hands and admiring eyes, it's a wonderful feeling knowing that you're the target of it all. They're not as intellectually smart as their seniors nor are they as intense but they're a much fresher breath of air than they are...

[Can be interpreted as romantic interest and you can tell I had no ideas for Razor]

Bennett

He's a sweet thing really, always tripping over his feet and laughing off the seemingly cruel intentions of the big joke that luck had in store for him.

He tries his best to help, hands always grabbing onto whatever you have, a book bag, a lunchbox, maybe even a file or two. Just leave it all to him! He says with a smile. It's almost funny with how alarmingly nice he is. Alarmingly being a key word here.

Sometimes his self deprecation is just too much for you to handle but you can't ever allow yourself to explode on him, not when his mental state seems so much worse than yours. His hands are scarred from how terrible his luck is and sometimes the smiles he has on his face seem just a little too.. uncanny. 'It's not his fault' is a thought that'll run repeatedly in your mind while with him and while Bennett doesn't like taking advantage of it, it comes in handy when his hands aren't scarred unconsciously.

Razor

You're almost confused when you meet Razor, disbelief resting heavily on your tongue as you greet him. You don't mean to be so cruel, really. At least, not intentionally that is. It's just… so hard to believe that someone like him could enter this academy so easily while you had to claw your way up here. It makes you want to throttle someone honestly.

Once again, you're not mean on purpose, just angry at how stupid life is for fucking you over like that.

Despite his less than spectacular ability to talk fluently and his academic progress, Razor's personality makes up for every insignificant loss there is. He takes care of you like you're family, doing his best to make sure that all your bruises are taken care off and that you've eaten enough for the day.

He knows so much about wildlife and how to hunt to the point where he can name all the fauna and flora surrounding the school that you're almost falling over your seat when you find out that he's part of Lisa's family by adoption. Lisa, the lazy librarian's assistant that calls everyone a nickname associated with baking ingredients, the brother to this sweet thing that just happened to growl at someone who tried to talk to you? Really??

Was this boy raised by wolves or something because you were absolutely confused by the amount of contradictions surrounding Razor.

Xingqiu

Feiyun guild. It's a title and name that you're all too familiar with. You've seen it stamped on the corners of pamphlets of businesses and on the plaques of your old school dedicated to bragging about how wonderful their sponsor was.

It's only right if the second son of such a renowned guild would be here.

What isn't right is how absolutely gremlin-like he is. You had been expecting someone prim and proper, not someone who had fucking poetry rap battles in the hallways with Hu Tao and slid jueyun chilli into his best friend's food as a joke. Rap poetry battles. If that wasn't a sign of weird rich kid vibes then you had no idea what it was.

He gives you gifts with a careless smile sometimes, as if giving expensive gifts was something anyone could do on a daily basis and maybe, just maybe, if you cared to flip through the pages of his poetry notebook, you'd find eloquently put together verses about you, some hinting at things just a little too close to home for you and your comfort.

Chongyun

You and Chongyun are the unanimous leaders of the "xingqiu is a threat and needs to be stopped" club. Of course, because you're a good student council president, you obviously can't make it into a real club but Chongyun takes full delight in knowing that if given the chance, you'd absolutely make it a reality.

He's so kind when he's not driven by the influence of his Yang side! Always tripping over his words and so focused on wiping away any bad Feng Shui around you. It's almost a running joke between the two of you but it starts to get very strange when he insists that the people you hang around are surrounded with bad spirits.

He may come from a renowned exorcist family that practiced daoism but are his words really untrustworthy when the people around you really do act up for seemingly no reason at all?

Xiangling

You've known xiangling since high school, from when you'd stumble into the warm atmosphere of her family owned restaurant after a fight with someone you really didn't like (read: hated). Her hands are always so quick when they tend to you and her words are so fond and kindhearted that you doubt that she could ever hold a piece of rudeness in her. Even if her head was more involved with food on some days.

She always keeps an eye on your intake of food much like Razor but the key difference between them is that she's the one making said food. She's fascinated with what you do but has said more than once that the amount of papers you have to go through makes her dizzy to even think about and starts asking about when you'll quit school and become a cook at her restaurant instead.

You agree with her internally but withold the urge to leave behind all moral obligations and instead externally you knock her on the head.

Honestly, you can always rely on her to make you a bento, even if you've already brought one! After all, her food is world class and you can't possibly be so unkind as to refuse her efforts of making you lunch when she woke up so early for it now, can you?

Hu tao

She brutally reminds you of those strange kids from one class over, always rambling about something you have no knowledge of. She'll drag you away from your duties to hang out with her and with how flamboyant her personality is, you can't help but get swept away by her freeness.

Her rap battles with xingqiu are extremely odd and most of the time you can't help but support her despite how strangely put together her stanzas are. Sometimes she spits out silly haikus talking about ghosts and other times its free form poetry that makes you rethink your life choices.

You have no idea whether she's your friend or not with how she treats you but hey! It's Hu Tao and she does whatever the Tao she wants. Get it?

Sometimes, you get the strangest feeling that she could recite your whole family history if prompted to.

#razor #xiangling #hu tao #xingqiu #genshin impact #chongyun #yandere genshin x reader #teyvat's tales #terra.writes!#bennett #gn!reader #genshin #im very bad at tagging as you can see

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andydrysdalerogers · 1 year

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Following Team Orders ~ Las Vegas

Pairings: Steve Rogers x OFC Olivia Williams

Summary: Olivia Williams is Formula One royalty. Her father is a racing legend and all Liv wants is to be one of only six women in the world to have raced in the most elite racing division in the world. When she finally gets the chance, she has to not only take on a male dominated sport, but her past, her teammate and a life beyond the track that she was not ready for. She just has to follow team orders but what happens when one man challenges her on and off the racing line...

Word Count: 3K

Warnings: A-N-G-S-T!!! eventual smut, slow burn, enemies to lovers, love triangle (if you squint) misogamy, fluff, racing accidents, an asshole Steve Rogers (you'll see what i mean); parental death

Dividers by @firefly-graphics

Series MasterList - Main Masterlist

Two weeks prior… Saturday

There are two things Ransom hates: losing and Steve Rogers. The man had been a thorn in his side for the last couple of years, almost beating him for championships, almost having his girl. If he thought he could murder the bastard and get away with it, he would. He was even costing him sleep. He had dreamt that he had Liv underneath him, moaning his name like she used to when Rogers interrupted them in her trailer. As soon as he saw the fucker, he woke up, hard and pissed. He decided to take a walk around the hotel. As he went to check his phone, he heard a door open. He moved behind a doorway and peak over.

And fury consumed him.

Rogers was coming out the door, hair disheveled, big smile on his face. Small hands pull him back and turn him around. The couple kiss and Ransom sees it as an opportunity to fuck Rogers by showing it to Liv. Except when Rogers pulls away, it's Liv he sees in the room. He took a series of photos and decided that this was the perfect opportunity.

After Ransom gets his coffee, he sent a message to Lance, Lloyd and Suzanne.

Have news. Meet in my room.

As Ransom stood in the window, looking over the Mexico City skyline, he smiled to himself. A plan was forming, and he was confident it could work. A knock brought him out of his thoughts, and he went to the door. He opened it and ushered everyone in. “What is going on Ranny?” Suzanne whined.

“Shut the fuck up Suzy,” Ransom growled. “I have some important shit so can it.” He picked up his phone and pulled up the photos. “I found a way to fuck over Rogers and get rid of Olivia.” He showed the group the pictures.

“Holy fuck!” Lance looked up at Ransom. “Why are you smiling?”

“Because if the FIA made Rogers sign the same contract as me, there is a non-fraternization clause. If that’s the case, then this,” picking up the phone, “is our way to getting rid of Rogers, Olivia, Barnes and the whole Red Bull team. We can pick up their sponsors, their money and really be the top team in F1. And if it doesn’t, well then it just fucks them over and I’m ok with that too.” Ransom bite into the Danish he had.

Lloyd started to laugh. “Damm sunshine, you are going to make Mercedes unstoppable.” He looked at the photos. “I have a contact at ESPN. Let’s do this. That little beauty insulted me, that prick almost has the championship.” Lloyd growled. “Time for this love story to end.”

Las Vegas – Thursday before race

Andy is sitting inside the main office for FIA at the Las Vegas track. He was sitting, staring out to Las Vegas skyline, wondering what fresh hell he was being sent to. The door opened but he didn’t turn. “Mr. Barber?” That’s when he turned.

Jenny Williams stood in the doorway. “Jenny?”

“Hi Andy.” She looked tired but determined.

He hugged the oldest Williams girl. “What are you doing here Jen?”

“I’m representing Livie for the investigation. You can only represent one of them, according to the guidelines, but we need to figure out if they violated their contracts with Red Bull or the FIA.”

“Right.” Andy looked down at the binders in front of him. “I’ve looked over Rogers’s contract. There is nothing in his contract that states he can’t have a consensual relationship with another driver. Steve’s reputation has been clean.”

“Then why are the reports indicating he’s violating a morality clause?” Jenny pulled a report from ESPN.

“Contracts have a behavioral morality clause, like for drunken behavior, fighting, that sort of thing.” Andy stood up and started to pace. “The only one I’ve heard who had an amendment to theirs was Drysdale when Olivia joined the drivers’ league. Since they had history, the FIA added the clause, under Drysdale’s objections, of course.”

Jenny wrote that down. “Liv doesn’t have that clause, but this still won’t lose its teeth. They are going to call for collusion.”

“They are teammates. Their main goal is to win, for the team to win. It's bullshit Jenny.” Andy was fuming.

“And that’s the argument I will start with.” Jenny put her pen down. “But since they were hiding, it looks bad.”

Andy put his hands on his hips and bowed his head. “I know Steve. I know how much he hated her before he gave into his feelings. And Liv, she just wouldn’t hook up with another driver. I don’t know how they can suddenly love each other.”

Jenny could see how much Andy cared for his drivers but was blind. “You obviously didn’t see them at dad’s funeral. Steve was her support when she couldn’t keep going. When she needed someone to take care of her when she felt all alone. I know he was there, at the hospital, after her accident. When he came in to see her and said goodbye to her because he wanted her to succeed.”

“He did?”

“Of course, he did. Andy, they have been going in circles because of misunderstandings and assumptions. They fought their way to this point.” Jenny massaged her temples. “Red Bull records all of the team's radio transmissions, right?”

“Yes,” Andy said slowly.

“Perfect. And can Steve and Liv communicate to each other?”

“No, they can only hear if we open a channel to them both, but that rarely happens.”

“What about in Austin?”

Andy riffled through some papers. “Here, the transcript of the race. Liv and Steve never talked. The only time they were even close to each other in the race was when Liv passed him after he spun. He asked if he could catch her.”

“Then this is proof that they didn’t conspire.” Jenny closed her notebook. “Dad would have wanted them to win. Not just the race or the championship. But in love too.”

As Jenny and Andy were meeting, Liv, Steve, Nat, Bucky, Sam, Frank and Tony were all in Liv’s suite, discussing the inquiry.

“It’s not fair,” Liv said as she paced the length of the room. Everyone else was sitting, watching her go back and forth. “They are doing this because I’m a woman.”

“Baby, if that were true, you could sue the pants off the organization,” Steve replied in an attempt to calm her.

“Bug, come on, sit,” Frank said, patting the seat between himself and Steve.

“I can’t.” Olivia was pacing to keep other emotions from emerging. “What if they say my points are invalid. What if they say Steve’s are? That would mean he would lose the championship and then we would lose the team one. I would be a pariah and I’ll never get to race again.”

Nat sighed. “Liv, none of that is going to happen. Jenny is here to help with that, and you know she’ll put that big lawyer brain into full gear. Andy is going to make sure nothing happens. You just have to stay calm.”

“Maybe I should quit.” Olivia’s words stunned the room. “Maybe if I wasn’t here anymore, they will stop the inquiry and let Steve keep his points and then…” she swallowed... “then he could finish the season and win.” She finally stopped pacing when she reached the window and looked at the city below.

“Could you guys give us the room, please?” Steve’s voice was stern, and no one questioned the request. Only Bucky stopped to squeeze Steve’s shoulder before leaving the room. “Olivia, come sit with me.” She refused to acknowledge him. “Olivia, right now.” She looked up and he could see for the first time that there were tears in her eyes. “Oh baby,” his tone softens. He could see how much this was tearing her up inside. He went to her and wrapped his arms around her as she finally cried.

“Stevie, I didn’t mean… this all my…” he cut her off.

“Sweetheart, this is not your fault. We didn’t do anything wrong. The press is blowing this up because of who we are.” He kissed her forehead. “Baby, look at me.” Her pink-ringed eyes looked up at him. “Our life, this relationship goes beyond the track. I would do anything for you. I would walk away right now just to see you smile. The championship doesn’t mean anything if you are not right there with me. I love you so much that it hurts to be away from you. So don’t quit, don’t leave. I’ll follow you anywhere.”

“Really?”

“Livie, you are my endgame.”

“I am?” Her voice cracked.

“You are baby. I knew that from our first kiss.”

Liv smiled. “I knew from that moment too.”

Steve kissed her softly, making sure to be gentle, to let her feel all the love he had for her. This girl who came in like a breath of fresh air. He could lie all he wanted but their first kiss wasn’t when he fell in love with her. It was the first day they really met. Her eyes blazed at him, showing the spark of fierceness, the way she didn’t back down, because she knew her worth. She put him under her spell right then. No matter how much he fought it, he has been in love with Olivia Williams for far longer than anyone knew. She was his home. He would gladly give up racing to be with her and help her achieve every goal.

They stayed in that night. They ordered room service and kept to themselves, needing those final moments of peace before the flurry of press and fans descended upon them.

Steve took his time, taking her apart, piece by piece, as he made love to his girl. It was soft, it was sweet, it was everything they needed that night. As she slept, a sheet covering her torso, Steve looked out to the Vegas night sky. The flashing lights of the strip combined with the muted sounds provided the perfect lullaby that lulled Liv to sleep but kept Steve awake. He wanted nothing more than to wake up from this nightmare. He wanted Liv and himself to just race like before and finish on top, just like he planned. He had no idea what was instore for them on the track. He just hoped that they still had each other at the end of it.

Andy started Sunday with a team meeting. “I know this weekend has been rough on everyone.” He saw the crestfallen face of Liv and Steve, who sat in the back, holding hands. “Especially our drivers. I have spoken to the Bartons, and they are standing behind Steve and Olivia. Our contracts don’t specifically state that they couldn’t have a relationship and we are standing behind that.”

He cleared his throat as some of the crew began to speak. “Just a sec. With that said, this doesn’t mean the FIA won’t be investigating. They have informed us that they will start after today’s race. What they find and what punishments will be endured are unknown, but I know this, we will appeal against any negative decisions made towards the drivers and the team. We are one family here and we will continue that way. Drivers, let’s get you warmed up. Crew chiefs, a word. Everyone else, please do your final checks before the race starts.”

Liv heads back into her garage and climbs up to her secret loft area. She pulls out her phone and scrolls through all of the headlines.

F1 PRINCESS IN RELATIONSHIP WITH RED BULL STAR

IS ROGERS USING WILLIAMS HEIRESS TO STAY ON TOP?

OLIVIA WILLIAMS: IS SHE BOUNCING FROM DRIVER TO DRIVER? SOURCES SAY SHE IS USING ROGERS TO GET TO DRYSDALE

ARE THE NEW EAR FEMAL DRIVERS DISTRACTING TO THE SPORT OF F1

OLIVIA AND STEVE: RACING’S NEW ROYAL COUPLE UNDER INVESTIGATION

WILL THEY LAST? LIV WILLIAMS AND STEVE ROGERS IN TROUBLE ALREADY, CLAIMS SOURCE

Liv could feel the tears threatening to fall. One article accused her of using her father’s name while another claimed that she was using Steve to take his spot. Another said she was doing it to get back at Ransom and how heartbroken he is. Others say she was paying off officials for her win.

“You know,” her head whipped around to see her favorite ocean blue eyes staring at her, “if you let them get into your head, you are just going to prove them right.” Steve crawled as best he could to laid down beside her.

“Steve, they are saying I didn’t win on my own. That Andy paid people off so I could win. How could they say that? Why would they tell these lies?”

“I don’t know, love.” He tucked her hair behind her ear. “But you have to ignore it. You need to put your game face on and show them how wrong they are.”

“Promise me. Promise me that you won’t leave me when they tear me down.”

“Never.” He kissed her. “C’mon, let’s kick this field’s ass and show them we are an unstoppable force.”

The race went well for Red Bull with Steve and Liv finishing one-three with Charles in the middle. The win was somber, with Liv just going through the motions. As the drivers sat down in the press room, the tension became palpable. The standard F1 reporters asked the first questions, like how the race was, was the track good, stuff like that. It wasn’t until the floor was opened to the other reporters that Steve figured out what was wrong.

The first reporter stood, “Adam Schefter, ESPN. Congratulations Steve on the win.”

“Thanks.”

“Was it team orders that kept you in the lead?”

“No, no orders were given.” Steve clenched his jaw. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see Liv visibly tense.

“Williams had the chance to pass a couple of times. Was she told to stand down?”

Steve wasn’t sure what to say before Liv spoke up. “I wasn’t told to do anything. Rogers is an excellent driver, and I couldn’t get around him.”

The next reporter, Maria Smith from AP Sports moved on to Charles. Liv zoned out of the question until she heard. “Is it true that you had a previous relationship with Miss Williams?” Her heart stopped.

Charles took a sip of water to calm himself before answering. “I don’t know what that question has to do with the race.” He cocked an eyebrow at the woman, who blushed and sat.

“I would like that answer,” a man from NBC Sports stood up. “Did you have a relationship with Miss Williams that could affect whether she allowed you to score more points?”

Liv bit her lip to stop from screaming at the man and keep the tears at bay. Charles looked at Liv to see her broken expression and grew angry. “Olivia and I are friends, just like most of the drivers here are. She wouldn't give us an edge if she can help it. She is here to race and to win, that’s it. This line of questions is inappropriate.”

“So, you are saying that there is not a relationship between you and her, but you are ok that a relationship formed between her and Rogers?” The reporter was egging them on, and Steve knew it.

He stood up, palms down on the desk in front of him. “Our relationship is none of your business. Olivia and I...” he stopped to look at her and she watched him with heartbroken eyes. “Olivia and I are in a committed relationship. I love this woman, and I will not sit here and allow you to try and take her apart. She is a fantastic racer, a history maker, a trailblazer. She has done it all while men like you tried to keep her down. Fuck, even I tried to keep her down, but she fought back for everything she has earned. She is respected among her colleagues, and she has done her job. These interviews are over.”

He stepped back, went to Olivia and took her hand and walked her out of the press room, while questions were flung at them. Charles followed and Olivia buried her head in Steve’s chest. “I am so sorry Livie,” Charles said.

“Thank you for standing up for her,” Steve said, when he could feel the sobs coming from her.

“We’ll all stand up for her, punk.” Steve looked up to see Bucky with the other drivers. They all patted Liv’s back as they marched into the press room. Steve heard Bucky as he declared with the other drivers that they would no longer be interviewing them bar official statements for their treatment of Olivia. Conspicuously absent are the Mercedes drivers.

As the group walked away, Andy and Jenny came up to the couple. “Great race, guys but I have some news.” Andy swallowed. “The FIA has decided to open an official investigation. They have a complaint and, well, with the pictures, they had no other choice. I’m sorry Liv but you are suspended pending the conclusion of the investigation.”

“But there are only two races left,” Steve complained.

“I understand but...” Liv silenced him with her hand.

“It’s ok Andy. Did we ask for expedition?” Jenny answered with a nod. “Well, then I will head home to California. Doesn’t look like any reason to travel to Brazil at this point.” Steve gripped her hand and walked with her.

“I won’t leave your side Love Bug.”

“But the championship...”

“There is nothing bigger than us right now.”

Taglist

@patzammit @jennmurawski13-writes @texmexdarling @slutforchrisjamalevans @firephotogrl74. @tinkerbelle67

#andy's hea #andy's shenanigans #following team orders #steve rogers AU #steve rogers #steve rogers x ofc #multifandom rp #bucky barnes #ransom drysdale #andy barber #formula one #formula one au #red bull racing au #ofc Olivia Williams #chris evans fanfiction #chris evans #chris evans characters #chris evans character x ofc #chris evans character fanfiction

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wackybuddiemewbs · 2 years

Text

Okay, caught up to the episode fully at long last.

And holy fuckin' shit. Buck!whumpees getting served... all of the pain and angst and yikes and the coma.

Some things I just need to spew out, even though none of it makes sense or is supposed to, but I just need to get it out of the system.

Bobby and Buck

The parallel of Bobby holding the baby and then later holding on to Buck as he's lowered down... OMFG. The fact that he says similar words "c'mere, kid", "c'mon, kid"... I just can't. They're so sick for this. And I'm so sick for this. This is so sick, sick, sick. And I'm here for it, crying my eyes out.

Also, magnificent callback to how the two began and how they clashed in the first ever episode. As I've mentioned in a previous post, I'd LOVE (and be deaded by it) to see Bobby coming more into his own as a father figure for Buck. It's something he's more or less shied away from, as he's done with Athena's kids, until a life-threatening situation come along. And boy, here it is.

Time to make that adoption official, Bobby. Boy's up for grabs.

Also also, the chili scene (weird name, but hey). For one, we get kind of a reverse between the two (Buck doing the cooking, Bobby going down internet research rabbit holes, which is a very Buck thing to do). But then Buck asking about the secret ingredient (and it ain't about the chili). And while Bobby provides him with the answer to perfect the dish, Buck's still none the wiser about what the secret ingredient is to bring his life to perfection.

Am I going to make a stupid joke about chocolate brown eyes factoring into this? No? Good that we all agree that this would be very embarrassing. But still, Eddie totally is the cocoa in that recipe, is all I'm saying.

Also also also, eternally interesting that we have Bobby struggling to move forward after his sponsor's death. And my guessing is that Buck's future now being on the line might just be the right catalyst to break him out of that vicious cycle. Like, him not giving up on figuring out what happened to his friend is good and right (and May's on the right track with it all... even though I am not a fan of civilian investigator doing this because they somehow can for reasons of their parents being in the profession... not a fan of those story lines, even though I love both May and Athena here).

But. There is a level of "obsession" to sticking to the past with Bobby, instead of looking for ways to move forward again. And Buck's accident as well as the recovery might serve just that purpose. To make Bobby see that he has new things to hold on to, a future to live towards. Because he's needed. Like, earlier on in the season, Bobby's been thinking about how the house is empty with the kids out (and he instantly adopted a dog because that guy is just dad shaped). To me, it felt like Bobby's been a bit lost well before things went down with his sponsor.

What's interesting to me is that this is something he shares in with Buck, even though they have very different ways of going about it.

Buck's basically on the opposite trajectory (leaving out the Daniel remark for the moment). Buck is not too invested in looking into the past, he's obsessed with the future (anyone thinking about those software updates again?). He is very much focused on looking ahead (helping to create a life that will reach further into the future, trying to find happiness that lies in the future, etc.).

Also, I will just say. Bobby dares to say "son" instead of "kid" at some point of this arc, I will lose it. Absolutely fuckin' lose it. And I will also totally lose any remaining shit I've got left in me if we see that guy praying for Buck. I cannot. I just cannot.

Buck noticing the small things but losing the big picture out of sight

Gotta say, I loved how they've built up the tension, and I felt like it reflected a lot in Buck noticing "small" things, until the big thing hit him in a flash. Buck saw the gasoline and stopped with the saw before sparks could fly. Crisis averted. He notices that the chili is missing a key ingredient. He is aware (has no real illusions) about how his parents may have just wanted to win an argument and how they do not approve of his life choices. He kept tabs on who went up the ladder truck when, which is why he knows it's his turn now. He notices something's off about the sounds in the sky. And then, hit in a flash.

In a way, I find that somewhat reflective of what we've seen with Buck thus far. Sure, he's made some truly life-changing decisions (hence big pictures). But in his quest for "true happiness" he's been all over the place.

He took inventory, got that armchair instead of a damned couch (obsessed about said couch to a very confused Bobby). Started with those self-help books. He hears about how Lucy may have been interim captain, which has him wonder about the big picture of where he fits in the firehouse in the future. The donor vs. dad thing - and how "the small deed" of filling a cup contributes to the big picture for someone else. Lev and him talking about what's potentially in store for him and Buck thinks the big milestones (wife, kids, house, you name it) are still on the horizon for him. But that's really just the details.

So my guessing is that they may want to hit the point home that Buck looks at the whole of it. To figure out what his true happiness is (and that he already has most of it, maybe just need that one co-worker to smooch him for good).

Parenthood

I felt like it was a very interesting choice that parenthood (and to a larger degree fatherhood, I felt) was at the forefront in an episode that ended on this... high note. Especially since one infamous father and certified DILF was not at all that present for that convo.

Like, I found it very deliberate that Eddie didn't factor into the fatherhood storyline as he normally would have. Because that is what we normally have when Buck's supposed to relate to his own position towards fatherhood, tangling things up with Eddie and Christopher (which, you know, Buddie).

Part of it, going by the stills, will be that they save it up for next week's episode (so I may never stop crying in my entire life over Christopher being at Buck's bedside). But I find it very interesting that they "removed" Christopher and Eddie as filters for Buck to reflect fatherhood through. And now we may very well get Eddie having to reflect on it without the Buck filter. Which is to say: He has to think about what it'd be like to be a father to Christopher without Buck in the picture. Which is interesting. To say the least. And potentially very, very gay. In the best possible way. Anywho.

Then we had other (grand-) father figures (Philip and Chim's father). I'm still pretty blank on what they wanna do with Chim and his father, to be honest. Also, Albert's way of acting keeps striking me as though there's more to it. I'm not yet sure what it is, but we'll have to see. I found it wonderful to have Hen tell Chimney that he should use his chance to say what he has to say (and reach some kind of conclusion that she's never gotten). After his father deprived him of the chance for all those years. And I do hope it offers him healing. But yeah, I'd have to sit on that a while longer.

So on to Philip... still somewhat a mystery to me, that dude. Like, was he really invested in "defending" his son, or was he - as Buck noted - maybe just not willing to let Chim's father have the last word on it? I am honestly unsure. I felt like him and Margaret were making an effort (as Chim noted, only on their best behavior). But I'm not entirely sure if that's coming from a genuine place of wanting to mend things with their kids. Or if they are much more focused on having that relationship with Jee as grandparents (you know, fresh starts and all). Like, as sweet as it was to see Margaret goof around with Jee (and what may come to highlight how far she's come along with her therapy)... it might also be rather bitter in the end. That she can be like this to her grandchild - but not to her own children.

What both fathers share in, to me at least, is how vastly different they are from Bobby as a father figure for Buck (and how inferior, really). Bobby's offering of advice and support comes from a genuine place, it always did. He helps Buck grow, and he's not really concerned to win an argument or to appear as the "better dad" or whatever. Even though he is. Dad shaped man, oh you. Like, it's not about appearances for him. But I feel like for Buck's actual parents, to a degree, it still is. Maybe they'll overcome that, but... I'm not sure.

Speaking of, the Buckley parents. Christ almighty, why does Margaret have to be so cringe sometimes? I guess this proved where Buck got this from at long last, because yeah, that's his mom right there. But. Oh. My. God. Why. Are. You. Like. This???

She really strikes me as the kind of mom that would've made everyone uncomfortable at any kind of school thing (and kudos to the actress for portraying it so well). She's so uptight and weird about it. But she's also nosy, while struggling so hard to let anyone see what cards she's got in her hand. Like, ugh. I can't with those kinds of people.

Her first impulse being that Buck would have a photo of Maddie's sonogram on his phone was both cringe and also so... devastating in a way? Like, great set-up for Buck's character arc here, but... that her first thought's not "oh, my son might be a father!" but that it's "oh, my daughter is gonna be a mom again, and he is also there to be an uncle again!" ... It is very telling, I believe.

Because Margaret and Philip didn't really compute Buck as that kind of person. And I do believe it was a deliberate contrast, after we opened the episode with Buck being great with the kids by the beach. Like, we as the audience know how great Buck is with kids, but for his parents, that's a total mystery.

Which is the absolute antithesis to Eddie telling Buck that he's Christopher's legal guardian. Eddie saw all this time that Buck's dad shaped, too. To the Buckley parents, he's still... anything but that. Margaret literally says to him that he's a "miracle baby", hence not really recognizing him as a rational, capable adult on his quest towards his own sense of fatherhood (son, not father). They still see him more as the troublemaker not ready to settle, it feels like.

Also, "miracle baby". Margaret. Why (yes, I know, for narrative purposes, but OMFG, lady, what the flying fuck's wrong with you???). The Buckley parents continue to push this idea of Buck being a miracle for as long as he provides services to others (either by saving or creating lives). They still have seemingly not grasped how important it is for them to recognize Buck's inherent value as a person and not just as a miracle that keeps on giving.

Also, the wording is just so... cringe. No, he's not a miracle baby. He never was. He was conceived to perform the miracle they could not, with the expectation of being the miracle bringer (and that he later on believed he disappointed said miracle by not being able to save Daniel). Like, Margaret, that's not a miracle baby. That's still a savior sibling you wanted to produce. Even if you put the miracle label on top, that changes nothing about the circumstance.

And if the writers want for them to learn that lesson... it certainly is the right place and time to teach them that. And if not... it will show what stuff they're actually made of, I guess. We'll have to see. As I said in a previous post, I don't know where they want to take the Buckley parents (more towards "redemption" or as the ultimate reminder of the reality that some people won't change out of their ways and that there are those relationships beyond repair).

On a quick side note: Gotta love the parenthood storyline with Hen and Denny. And the detail of her picking up baseball with Eddie when Denny started with it. Oh, I love her. I'll be interested to see how all of that plays out. I just feel like more trouble's ahead.

But. Back to Lightning McQueen I mean Evan (won't ever get over Oliver's facial journey there) I mean Buck and the parenthood issue. Like, I do believe that if we get an alternate scenario (that may very well answer the question what life would be like for him if he had indeed been the miracle baby to save Daniel), Buck will be brought to the realization that the big picture is already in place. With Eddie and Christopher and the 118 and Maddie.

Like, I can very well see them giving him "everything" of the things he told Lev were still on the horizon for him. Only to be dissatisfied, or desperately trying to get back to his reality. Because this is where he belongs. Those are the people he belongs with. And he doesn't need to hold on to a "dream" of being more than the donor in Connor's and Kameron's life to find fulfillment as a person, as a father. Because he's that to Christopher already, a co-parent. And I do believe they might hit that point home for him at long last. And it'd be epic.

In a Flash

I guess I don't have much to add. Everyone's basically expressed my views on it already. The tragic beauty of the red string connecting Buck and Eddie, both getting hit by the same bolt of lightning. Eddie crying out for Buck. Eddie coming to Buck's rescue, his own safety be damned. The Pieta-esque shot when Buck's being lowered to the ground. Eddie doing the whole "move, I'm gay" to get to Buck. Time standing still, only to jump forward after it all happened. The ending of the helmet on the ground... *chef's kiss*

You already are a family

That one struck me a bit. Because Eddie noting that to Buck is great foreshadowing, for one thing. But it might also prove to be the narrative reversal I'd so desperately crave. That Eddie says to Buck "We're already a family." That Buck is part of his family. And that Buck comes to the realization that he is already part of that family and doesn't need to be part of a dream family (his own that never was), or the one Kameron and Connor are building. That he wraps up his inventory and knows that what he wants is what he got - if only he gets to fully embrace his role as father figure to Christopher and certified DILF for Eddie.

Buck and Eddie (duh)

Did you think I'd end this post without obsessing a bit longer about Buddie specifically??? Yeah, no. I'm still not over all the angsty goodness we were given. I'm still at the edge of my seat over what's going on with Eddie (and Christopher) next episode. Will Eddie revert to his old ways and try to be stoic about it to keep face in front of Christopher? Will he break down in the face of the danger of losing yet another partner? Will he pull a Buck and get back into dating to cover up his feelings? Will Eddie's voice bring Buck back? Will it be Christopher's? Will Eddie take Buck's hand and beg him to stay with him? I don't know. All of it would be so epic. And I still can't wrap my head around all of those wonderfully awful options.

Like, there's great potential for Buck to reach some epiphanies, but they are just as well in store for Eddie here. Not only will he be confronted with the reality that he may have to raise Christopher without Buck's presence. But he will also have to reflect hard on why he made the choice to name that man Christopher's legal guardian. Because he could've died up on that ladder all the same, and then Christopher would've been "alone". Like, Eddie will have to think hard about that one. And he'll have to think even harder about why Buck is that person for him. What it means to him personally that he gave Buck that role in not just Christopher's but also in his life.

Plus, we may finally, finally, finally get them to talk about their shared traumas of either having witnessed the other nearly die... or nearly dying. Like, this is a gun that's been hanging on the wall for quite some time now. Time to fire it, right? *pew pew* Because they got very comfortable letting their talks run through the Christopher filter. They do things in Christopher's best interest. But what they still have to do is to talk honestly to each other about this. And that may open the door to something else. And that something else is very, very gay.

So yeah. I'm... not really coherent at this point. This episode was too much. And i may have to sit on that a while longer. Until then: Happy return of the weewoos and the ouchies, peeps!

Cheers!

#911 spoilers #911 season 6 #911 season 6 spoilers #evan buck buckley #evan buckley #eddie diaz #bobby nash #in which I ramble

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sillypinkboy · 4 months

Text

The New Interstellar

Words; 676

Type; essay

Notes; this was my finial yall

᠃ ⚘᠂ ⚘ ˚ ⚘ ᠂ ⚘ ᠃ ⚘᠂ ⚘ ˚ ⚘ ᠂ ⚘ ᠃ ⚘᠂ ⚘

What does it all mean? That’s a question that’s been plaguing humanity since we’ve been able to think. We find connections in whatever we can, just to try and make sense of it all. We keep history books for that very reason, but as they say, "Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it.” A common saying amongst history teachers, George Santayana first wrote this in his work The Life of Reason: Reason in Common Sense. Now, how does this connect to a movie about space travel and the historical events of the new world? I have no idea. Let’s compare notes.

Let’s talk real quickly about Interstellar, if you’ll listen. Interstellar was a movie released in 2014 by Paramount Home Entertainment (Wow! Haven’t heard that name in awhile.) The movie follows the story of Copper (played by Matthew McConaughey) as he tries to find a place for a new settlement. (huh, sounds familiar, doesn’t it?) These events are sparked by an event of famine. He’s set into a situation of either staying with his family or trying to bring a certain peace. He travels with Brand (Anne Hathaway) and Romilly (David Gyasi) to a wormhole near Saturn. They spend the movie trying to find the perfect place to start a colony. The movie ends with them landing in modern day civilization, at least Copper and TARS (a robot companion) to realize they succeeded.

Now, let’s take a look at the founding of the New World. Back in the 1500s, this guy named Christopher Columbus 'discovered’ a whole new part of the world. He was trying to find another way to Asia and managed to get the queen to sponsor his little exhibition. I’m sure you’ve heard of him. Anyway, this journey sparks - okay. When he lands in what was believed to be India, he does some pretty nasty things. The reason why? Greed. That became a big moving point from then on. The idea of riches, which helped sponsor his next trips, led to everyone wanting to become rich quickly. We see this in the Gold Rush of California. With more people showing up, more people end up staying. That’s the biggest thing. It becomes a way for the Spainards to get land, which in turn gets them power.

Now, what’s similar between these two? Discovery and Settlement. Notice that? Both stories take the idea of new, and make it the now. In Interstellar, we’re dying out as a collective. NASA sends its people into danger for the sake of resuscue, while in the New World it’s just a sake of power.

Discovery for a betterment of humanity is the theme that both can be argued for. If not for the exploration of the New World, we [Americans] wouldn’t be, and I mean this with the deepest sincerity, the superpower we are. The world would be so different if we had let things lie. It’s better in this way. The world works how we want it, we play god and just accept that even pain is futile. Interstellar is a continuation of that. Interstellar isn’t a tale of caution, it’s a tale of moving forward. That’s what the New World was - is supposed - to be about in its own right. If things were different, we wouldn't be a big country.

Now, I don’t mean to run so far off to the side. All I mean to say is these tales are based on each other as much as they are on their own. The New World became a part of moving forward, and so did Interstellar. Without the former, we wouldn’t have the ladder.

So, now, I ask again. How do these two events relate? They’re brothers. We will always move forward. We will always need a new world, but we’ll never rest for it. Everything about this set of rules we’ve built will always make us move forward. Interstellar isn’t off caution, but it’s more like a promise. We all know something like this is bound to come.

#pink writes #interstellar #i wrote this for my history class but liked it enough so here #essays

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toyahinterviews · 2 years

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TONIGHT WITH JONATHAN ROSS, CHANNEL 4, 9.1.1991

JONATHAN: If I could choose just one word to describe my next guest, it would be versatility. Her music career has seen her labelled as the thinking man's punk, but she has also turned up on the big screen in such films as "The Tempest" and "Quadrophenia" Most recently you might have seen her on TV in "Cluedo" standing in the parlour next to Colonel Mustard clutching a lead pipe. Did she do it? Let's find out - Toyah Willcox! Thank you for joining us! TOYAH: Pleasure JONATHAN: Last time I met you was on "Sunday Sunday", you'd been sort of forced to go around town with Paul Daniels. Must’ve been horrible for you? TOYAH: Oh, it was terrible (the audience laughs) JONATHAN: I was surprised because I followed your singing career. I'd bought a few of your records back in the early 80s - TOYAH: You admit to that?!

JONATHAN: I do. I don't play them anymore but I bought them (Toyah laughs) But because then you started acting and I thought you just started acting but you'd been acting before - TOYAH: Oh yeah, I started acting when I was about 18. I was at National Theatre in a play with Kate Nelligan, directed by Maximilian Schell. Got very good reviews. Then I formed a band and started to have hit singles JONATHAN: And then after that - your acting probably is just as important now I guess as the music side, if not more so? TOYAH: Both acting and singing are really important. I just want to do both really well and I think it takes a lifetime. You just have little obstacles in your way, especially with singing like ageism and sexism and stuff like that. But you just get on with it and do the job JONATHAN: So do you find that now - you're getting on a bit, you're a bit older than you were ... (the audience laugh) We’re all getting slightly older ...

TOYAH: I'm very optimistic. I find singing - it's a tough industry to work in. And I think by female terms in the music business, especially the pop business I'm getting on a bit, but I'm not going to go away JONATHAN: You’ve acted with some great (names) but you were in a TV film with Laurence Olivier, based on the John Fowles book ("The Ebony Tower") I remember but also at the moment you're seen in the commercials for "Mum" antiperspirant (Toyah looks awkard, the audience laughs) The reason why I’m raising that is I just wonder - because I've done a few commercials purely for cash myself as well, Toyah ... (the audience laugh) No one does it out the love of the product purely. We had (the DJ) Andy Kershaw on the show last week and he was advertising a spot cream and I think if you have to choose why go for something like a spot cream or an antiperspirant? They're not the most sexy subjects to be associated with - TOYAH: I’d rather go for them than a bank! JONATHAN: Would you really?

TOYAH: Yeah! I mean, number one, it was at the time when Ark was just being launched and celebrity has power. Ark was asking a lot of celebrities to try and inform the public of the power they have as consumers to stop things like CF gasses going on super supermarket shelves. The "Mum" thing came along, OK, I did it and I got paid very well and that meant it gave me the choice of what work I could do for the next few years I made two albums on it. I could work in theatre, because usually in theatre per week you get about 50 quid to go home with and thanks to the "Mum" advert not only did I do my bit to combat CF gases, but I also had enough money to choose what work I wanted to do JONATHAN: So whenever when anyone buys a little tube of "Mum" they're sponsoring one of your albums? Would that be … ? (Toyah cackles) Do you not think we should put a warning on the packet or something? If they’re unhappy with the deal? I'm not saying they would be but - (Toyah laughs) TOYAH: Not only are they buying a very good antiperspirant but they're actually buying a wonderfully phallic symbol JONATHAN: Oh, well ...

TOYAH: When we did that advert we spent the whole day trying to get me to hold this product without it looking as if it was my vibrator (the audience laughs, Jonathan looks jokingly deep in though as if thinking about it) JONATHAN: I'd hazard a guess that the outtakes for that pass for quite a lot of money (Toyah and the audience laugh) So you're still doing music then? You have some new -

TOYAH: Yeah I've got a new album out next month called "Ophelia’s Shadow" which is kind of my answer to "Hamlet". There's a kind of big speech in "Hamlet" where - JONATHAN: That sounds quite a pathway to sort of - you've got one of the possibly finest plays ever written and you've got an album as an answer to it - TOYAH: Yeah because Hamlet says to a Ophelia: “Get thee to a nunnery. Go! Get thee gone! God gives you one face - you make yourself another. You lisp, you amble, you make monsters of us.” And the way it's written Ophelia says “Oh, what a noble mind is here overthrown.” My album has changed the inflection on that and Ophelia says (mockingly) “Oh my, what a noble mind is overthrown.” (sticks two fingers up as if to say f off) So I mean ... my Ophelia doesn't drown herself JONATHAN: So you've made the ending a bit happier then? TOYAH: I’ve re-written it

JONATHAN: It's kind of like the Dynasty (an 80's TV series) people would have done. “Give us Hamlet (but) give us a happy ending”. Is it that kind of thing? TOYAH: After doing "The Tempest" with Derek Jarman – Derek completely rewrote "The Tempest" so I thought well, I'll give it a try JONATHAN: When you look back on your earlier albums, on the kind of 80s stuff, the hit singles, "It’s A Mystery" and "Sheep Farming In Barnet", which I remember very fondly (Toyah giggles and the audience laugh) Now, what do you feel about them? TOYAH: I don’t look back. I don't look back because I'm ashamed. I'm not ashamed, but it's history. And I think the 80s is really history. I think we are aeons away from that decade and I just don't relate to it JONATHAN: We just put a photo up of you (below) in one of your incarnations modelling what looks to the early Gloria Hunniford – (the audience laugh) TOYAH: Yeah, that's the early "Mum" advert - JONATHAN: It’s the full under arm expose – I see that

TOYAH: Use "Mum"! I just don’t look back. What's the point of looking back? Life's ahead of us. Life I think is a pretty short thing whether you live to old age or not - it goes really quickly. What's the point of looking back? JONATHAN: Another project you’re involved in … You work really hard, you're involved in all sorts of things but you're also doing something with the "Survival" (a nature documentary) programme, is that right? TOYAH: Yeah, I've done the kind of - what's it called … the narration for "Survival Factor" which is on Channel 4 every Tuesday. I read one critic where the critic said “wear your raincoat if you listen to Toyah Willcox, narrating this programme” - JONATHAN: That's because of your lisp (Toyah cackles). Because I was always surprised you had a hit single with (puts on a bad lisp) "It's A Mystery" - TOYAH: (with an over the top lisp) It’s a mystery - JONATHAN: Because I've had a similar problem myself (Toyah laughs) Maybe we should get together and do a duet. That'd be nice

TOYAH: I’ll take you up on that JONATHAN: Me, you and Pete Beale from EastEnders (they all laugh) You said life is short. This show is far far shorter. Thanks for coming on - Toyah Willcox!

Watch the interview HERE

#toyah #toyahwillcox #toyah willcox #toyah interview #toyahinterview #toyah90s #toyah 90s #toyah tv #toyahtv #toyahchannel4 #toyah channel 4

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chemicalpink · 2 years

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Getaway Package | JJK, KTH x reader

❧ Summary: When the stream had first suggested you pick up a cosy game for the stress you were going through, you gladly picked it up as a joke. You could have never imagined the turn of events of finding yourself lured into an in real li9fe getaway experience thanks to two very peculiar streamers and multiple K.K. Slider songs. Stress relief at its best, just not in the way you had thought about it at first.

❧ Pairing: Gamer!Jungkook x Gamer!Reader x Gamer!Taehyung

❧ Genre/AU/Rating: Smut, fluff, a bit of angst Streamer! au, a bit of crack, strangers to lovers, 18+

❧ Warnings: a brief very vague reference to female masturbation, Jungkook is two thirds-naked. Dirty talk, kinda voyeurism, fingering, a lot of touching, threesome, established Jungkook x Taehyung (implied), polyamory, brief and vague mentions of struggling with mental health, not very descriptive panic attack.

❧ WC: 5.3k

❧ A/N: This is part of the DLC Collab hosted by @joonscypher and @kookskingdom and @lavienjin she’s finally here!

The room wasn’t quiet at all as soon as the ending game credits roll around on the monitor, the infinite scroll of comments taking up most of the space on the side monitor as soon as you direct your gaze to the camera, an all too practised smile on your face and you can’t help but let your eye flicker down to the clock, 11:25. Five more minutes before you were able to call it quits and hopefully get some rest. You had promised yourself you would be open about your processes, your decision to take things slow after the big boom that sent your career to the top becoming a bit too overwhelming as months went by.

It had all started kind of as a joke, the pretty rgb lights hanging in your room, the gifted desktop sets from your friends, a somewhat boring week that had you trying out some viral video game, when someone on social media suggested you tried out streaming, and so you did. It all seemingly happened in the blink of an eye. Being sent equipment hauls to try out, advertisement contracts, sponsorships and making it onto the top 10 streaming ranks al happened in the span of a few months, booking gigs here and there until the whole deal merged into your primary income, yet you couldn’t quite comprehend the way that other people did it. For someone on the gaming scene you tende much more to keep to yourself, a few videos a week, a live streaming every few days, some sporadic online interviews, that’s as far as you were connected to the world outside the monitor, unlike the hugely branded gamers that toped the rankings, especially that pair of friends that everyone seemed to be head over heels with, Jeon Jungkook and Kim Taehyung. Huge brand names sponsored them, they had just recently moved from video games to even fashion gigs, celebrities out of the blue type of story. You just couldn’t fathom the idea of living up to that same standard, the men lived off of social media, a new trending topic every day that sometimes you ended up being asked about on your stream. ‘Who do you like more, Y/N? Jungkook or Taehyung?’ ‘Are you entering their date giveaway? Every other girl streamer is!’ ‘I would love to see you and them streaming together!’

It was becoming a bit too suffocating for your liking, yet gaming had become a huge part of your life that you couldn’t easily just let go, so you had to compromise. Settling for something active yet not so much as viral could perhaps give you the break you needed while providing you with work, now if only the words were as easy to let out. “Well guys! It has been so much fun getting to finish this one with all of you! I really appreciate your support!” The chat fills with hearts and sweet words as well as questions asking what’s the upcoming schedule “Oh! People are asking what are we playing next? Well-” you can’t help the feeling of letting your viewers down as you concentrate on the matter at hand. A lighter schedule is all you need for the time being, something you know you deserve to give yourself, so why is it so hard to just announce it? “I actually want your help with it!”

The chat explodes rapidly– even faster now– as it fills with game names that range in theme and you just feel the need to blurt it out “I feel like I must preface this, it’s been a couple of rough weeks, and I really appreciate everything that you guys have given me, really” you can feel your eyes watering as the words leave your mouth, chat filled with ‘Please don’t say you’re leaving’ ‘I always look forward to your streams’ enough to have you let out a watery chuckle “I’m not going anywhere, I just need somewhat of a break to get a grip, a lighthearted game that we all can enjoy on a less strict schedule”.

Some indie games, other more popular than others that you’ve seen other streamers advertise on your social media are all being thrown into the chat, Animal Crossing being a favourite amongst them. “You know, I never got around to have an Animal Crossing phase, perhaps it would do some good to get a Getaway Package, see what comes out of it”

Everything had turned out to go as planned, a few hours a week constructing an online island along with a few laughs to go with it on the streaming lives, Sunday turnip collecting, although some people that used to be regulars on your streams quickly grew tired of just watching you build some stuff up, lo-fi playlist on repeat as you played, some others were quick to jump at your open invitation to your island, trading fruits and furniture, celebrating festivale together, finally building a community that you could feel like you could rely on. The apathy of it all being kept behind a monitor exclusively quickly faded away.

You hadn’t really been thinking about it, Animal Crossing was just a cosy game you quickly grew attached to, a sense of stability present every time you walk around the small island, a routine of sorts that was able to keep you grounded. Soon enough, weekly live streams and occasional private meetups with the people watching you turned into late-night playing by yourself, decompressing after long days, one day getting the itch to form a spontaneous private gaming room on discord, invite a couple of strangers over to your island, chat anonymously on a text channel. You couldn’t have seen it coming, really. The way that soon two guys asked to join you for some late-night meteor sighting on your island, not an ounce of awkwardness as you three seemed to be on the same page.

v: thanks for having us! It’s been a rough week, I wasn’t feeling up to playing alone, this feels good.

jay.97: isn’t it funny how most video games are just- fast-paced? I like the cosiness of ac

bun: oh god I thought I was the only one, you wouldn’t believe the last few months

You turn to look at the clock on the monitor, reading 3:45 am, a bit of surprise within you as your mind can’t quite understand the way that a few gaming hours with strangers while mindlessly roaming a digital island and connecting with them even if on such impersonal grounds, had seemingly done wonders for you. A hesitant goodbye turned into friend invitations on both the game and discord, a smile pulling on your lips as you finally feel like you’ve found a place you feel comfortable in.

As it turns out, Jay and V, as they insist on calling themselves, knew each other pretty well– if being roommates was anything to go by. They had also mentioned along the way that playing video games was just something they had done for a while, neither you nor t5hem ever disclosing more on the matter after that one time Jay had briefly talked about an Overwatch match he had lost. The first one in months, as he had mentioned. You refused to put a name to the feeling, every time your phone rang with a discord notification, the times they invited you over to their island on Saturday evenings for a quick gaming round that mostly consisted of one of them rushing a villager out of an occupied seat around K.K. Slider so you could have it, the other one shamelessly typing ‘romantic’ once the guitarist dog asked to set the mood, and each time you couldn’t help but tease them about it on your chat. No personal items, that was a rule, discord became a safe middle ground of sorts, you three could have your fun, bask in each other’s attention, feel connected in a way that was homely, while still, not being all that scary and overwhelming, knowing that there wasn’t that much to it other than a pseudonym on screen, at least you gave yourself the opportunity to not dwell too much on the fact that both Jay and V were real actual people behind the screen, it was just- more comfortable this way.

However, as all good things do, they come to an end, feeling energised and up to it again, knowing fully well that it was time to go back to your regular schedule, all the more calm and even more so boosted as the stream chat comes to life once again to watch your routine develop, some people congratulating you on taking a much-deserved break for a while, others filled with ‘Y/N trend setter’ “Oh? Is that so? What trend did I set this time around?” a few more comments flow and it’s your time to stare at them fondly, an odd nostalgia feeling after some time creating a different type of content ‘Jungkook and Taehyung started small ACNH streams after you did!’ “That sounds fun! Were they any good?” some more comments fill the screen, most of them asking you to plan a gameplay with them, show them the ACNH way, whatever that means.

You had guided yourself rather blindly as soon as the front desk guy had pulled out your key card, after having the longest flight in a while in an attempt to fit in with the rapidly changing trends of your job, you had signed up for an international gaming convention– not that you were by any means familiar with most of the other participant’s careers, but while still going through a rather rough patch– quite publicly at that, which had earned you now staying out of competitions and team gameplays in favour of settling for lazy decompressing streams of Animal Crossing, getting back on track with the gaming world had been a must, it was still a way of living after all.

Eyes heavy, small backpack on your shoulders, luggage noisy against the hotel’s tiles as it dragged behind you until room 358 appeared right in front of you. Come to think of it, there was absolutely no way anything in the world could have prepared you for the sight that greeted you as soon as the door clicked open, a rather muscular– and quite good looking– guy, head thrown back in amusement, pants off, underwear halfway down as some other guy that wasn’t facing the door, sat on the mattress across from him, lounging. None of your muscles seemed to respond even as the seconds went by, brain short-circuiting, now really questioning the life choices that could have led you to this point. A quiet and almost breathy response, the only thing that your tired brain could supply you with “Oh god…”

Both of the guys’ heads whip back at the door where you’re standing in a second, ‘no pants’ one with a rather alarmed look on his face while the other guy simply appeared unbothered about the whole ordeal, settling for watching your reaction– or rather lack of– with a subtle smirk on his lips, even as his friend? Partner? No strings attached? Looked a second away from turning into a tomato as he hastily fidgeted to get his clothes in place “It’s not what it looks like! It’s not what-”

You could clearly hear the words he was saying, high pitched and you’re almost sure he was as embarrassed, even more, than you were about it. Almost. The other man continued to look as unnerved as before, much more so as your eyes seemed to try and capture the whole scenario developing in what was supposed to be your room for the next three days, clearly unable to remain completely unaffected by it. How could someone look so hot even when going through such an awkward situation, seriously. “I-I think I have the wrong key” you half-ass a finger signalling down the hallway as if motioning them that you’d go, probably pretend this had never happened in the first place “I’ll just- yeah”

You turn to leave, your backpack suddenly going unnoticed as you try and clear the image from your mind– not out of disgust, but rather out of sheer embarrassment as you walk down the same path as before until you get to the front desk. Quite a move of the staff to mix key cards up, now you seriously just need to get to your room, have a nice hot bath to wash off whatever weird spell the universe had thrown your way– and if the images of half-naked dude came to your mind in the darkness of your room, who were you really to ignore the beauty of such a man, toned muscles, long hair dangling down. Questionable at best, given that he wasn’t on his own back there. It’s not like they would ever know.

“I uh- I think I’ve been assigned the wrong suite” behind the desk, there’s the same staff as before, quickly glancing up with an all too practised smile on his face.

“Y/N?”

“Yeah” you can’t really control the way that your finger continues to tap on the counter’s surface, unresting, trying– and rather failing– to stray your mind away from remembering the last few minutes with the accuracy that it seemed to be doing.

His tone is rather unmovable, self-assured about the fact that there couldn’t possibly be a mistake on his part, even as he takes the key card out of your hold. It wasn’t like the key card could have possibly opened a different room’s door. “Uhh.. nope, suite 358 is yours”

“Well there uh- it was already occupied by uh- two other people” come to think of it, there was absolutely no way he couldn’t tell the awkwardness hanging in your statement. You clear your throat in an attempt to get him to understand somehow that there was no possible scenario where room 358 was intended to host you.

“Ah, yes. Jeon Jungkook and Kim Taehyung”

You’re almost sure your eyes will pop out of their sockets any time, brain barely processing the staff’s words as they left his lips almost as if he meant to say them “Excuse me?”

“You are all here for the gaming convention, right?”

“Well yeah but-”

The guy lets out a heavy sigh at that, customer service persona nowhere to be found, voice quiet yet firm as he says “Listen Y/N, it’s quite a busy year for the edition, we had to optimise spaces, I’m sorry” he’s back on his cheery practised tone in a second, almost giving you whiplash by the approach he decides to take even before you’re able to battle your way out of it “You’re free to book a suite somewhere else, under your own cost though”

You snatch the key out of his hand. Well- this is sure to be on top of the most awkward situations you had ended up in.

“I’m so sorry you had to witness that” Each of them has taken a place on the brink of the beds, the look on their faces resembling those of kids being scolded. It is just now that you really come to notice that these two are the Jeon Jungkook and Kim Taehyung from the global gaming rankings, looking quite literally out of some TV drama, not quite alike the ones you had come accustomed to seeing on big billboards announcing their latest event, the ones from edits that make it to your social media and most definitely not like the ones posing for a big brand name with a jacket that costs more than you could ever hope for.

The one you know to be Taehyung speaks up with a soft yet deep voice “We thought the suite was just for us two”

“Listen it’s fine, you really don’t have to explain” the raging punch to your words is long gone, the whole overwhelming sensation that you had grown accustomed to, the need to rest it all off and tackle the next three days with a smile on your face taking over you, also wanting to spare any unneeded tension between what appeared to be your roommates for the rest of the convention “I’ll just wash up and get ready for bed I guess”

You place your bags down and take a long look at the room, noticing only the two beds to choose from along with a couch on the side that goes along with some monitor setups. Your mind goes haywire at the options it presents, the uncertainty– and truly fear– must present itself in the way that you feel your eyes expanding even through your sleepy haze.

“Oh! Take whichever you want, we don’t mind” there a boxy grin on Taeyung’s face as soon as the words leave his mouth and you can’t help but notice how cute it makes him look, a homey feeling to it that seemingly makes your inner turmoil settle down as you make your way to the bathroom.

“Thanks”

It was relatively silent after that, the three of you under an unspoken rhythm that most definitely went along the lines of evading the previous awkwardness along with understanding that having a schedule was hard enough as it was, the faint buzz of the TV and some videos coming from one of their phones were the only things that could be heard as you readied yourself for bed, finally settling down on the bed nearest to the window as the two men took the other one, looking at ease and not at all like you had expected them to as it seemed like it was a regular occurrence for them.

“So- we heard your streams are going amazing after your break! Congrats on that!” Taehyung’s deep voice comes from over the low volume TV like a soft white noise that is meant to pacify the room, as small talk as it was, you can hear the true care and excitement in his tone “You might even top rank us! Jungkookie here is a big fan”

You turn your gaze to where the younger is scrolling through his phone just in time to watch him pause and whine as you can see a faint blush take over his face “Hyungggg”

You laugh, somewhat embarrassed, whether second hand or otherwise as you find it hard to see that Jungkook is also quite a good looking man, the one currently sitting across from you a completely different version of the one the public is accustomed to, you might even find this one all the more attractive “You guys are huge tho, I can’t even keep up with all that you both do”

“It’s really nothing”

You go back to your own phone, a routine of sorts after promising Jay to text him once you landed– no personal information, just pure interest in the same way that they were caught up in a flirting stage between the three of you, a bit unusual yet not unwelcomed. The text is quick, already settling down on the bed as you wait a few seconds for it to go through when Jungkook’s phone rings announcing an incoming text and you feel all the colour drain from your face. It’s almost 4 am, it surely couldn’t be a coincidence- “Did your phone just- ring?”

“He’s a popular guy” Taehyung turns to Jungkook with a teasing smile on his face “It is kinda creepy if someone texts you at this hour tho, Kookie”

The man in question turns the screen to watch the text before opening it up, a smile taking over his features “Ah it’s Bun”

Your whole body freezes, vision blurry and you can feel all sense of fake security down, what exactly could be the chances of not only meeting but your flirty lovely strangers with casual gameplays to also be people you know and are currently sharing a room with. It's fight or flight, not even giving it a second thought as you book it to the bathroom as soon as your username drops from his lips.

Everything changes in a second, the soft buzzing white noise that was somewhat comforting now suffocating as it all starts clicking inside your mind, a smaller part of your rational mind telling you it could all be a huge coincidence, you can’t just go off of a text message that gets received at 4:00am when you just texted a stranger, him saying your pseudonym when asked about it and perhaps coincidences aren’t really a thing when it’s about the matter. You’re curled up against the toilet bowl when Taehyung’s deep voice comes from the other side of the door “Y/N? Y/N is there something wrong?”

Jungkook is next, his tone teasing in a way that was meant to help dissipate the tension that had quickly escalated “Was it something Taehyung said? I’ll beat him for you”

He tries for the lock and sees it isn’t locked “Y/N I’m coming in”

Taehyung takes a place across from you while Jungkook keeps himself at a distance close to the door, the panic from before long gone and instead a disappointment and awkwardness left as you reflect back on it. Back on how far you had managed to come after deciding to take a well-deserved break, build yourself up, open your heart again, a silly little crush and shared online moments coming to life as your mind catches up that V and Jay are much more than a username, they’re real people standing in front of you, helping you up the same way they did when talking anonymously, not a single one of you aware of the fact until a few minutes back, the revelation probably also surprising to them as you reacted harshly, yet they decided to put you first, the same way they had made all their silly little promises before. As rushed as it seemed, out of the blue and somewhat irrational, the feeling of belonging is there, like coming back home after a long time.

Taehyung offers his hand out for you to take, taking a few minutes before you decide to do so, his skin warm against your palm as he softly speaks “We really don’t have to talk about it Y/N, let’s just head to bed” You’re guided to your chosen bed in a blur, the whole room settled and dim that you could credit Jungkook for it, thank him even as you lay down and Taehyung makes to sit on the edge “You really don’t have to worry about it, Y/N. Jungkookie and I were just as surprised as you, and we’ve said it before, you are our top priority, alright? If you feel okay, we feel okay. We’ll talk in the morning if you’re up for it”

You reach out a hand to restrict him from standing up “stay”

He smiles down at you, all soft eyes and a sweet smile “We’re a metre away, Y/N. I don’t think we should take anything further with how we all just found out, if you really need me or Kookie, we aren’t going anywhere”

It’s really not even a good few hours of sleep, taking into consideration that there’s a schedule to be followed, really not surprised at how you yearn to be engulfed the same way you watch both men curl up against each other, taking a leap of faith and settling yourself in between them, not a drop of awkwardness or estrangement in the way that you just seem to fit in, feeling like home.

Waking up entangled with people you rationally know are strangers turns out to be rather comforting if you take into consideration the many sleepless nights you three encountered before, even if everything back then had been fleeting and baseless, you turn to your side to find doe eyes already looking back at you, unable to hold your words in as you take note of his closeness and the other man’s arms wrapped around your figure “Isn’t all of this strange?”

“It’s only strange if you want it to be, I guess” his tattooed arm comes up to caress the side of your face, a teasing bunny smile on his face “I feel like we’ve had this conversation before, Y/N. You can’t really place a timeline on love” you make a face of disbelief at him, not yet ready to face how insane all of it looked and he rolls his eyes playfully “or attraction, or whatever this is, we’re young, we’re human. We are allowed to feel all of this without needing to timestamp it. So what if we’ve only just realised we are who we are, this feels nice, doesn’t it?”

You nod your head at the same time as you feel Taehyung stir behind you, groaning with sleep as his hand starts caressing your skin “Oh god- it’s much too early to start existential questionings, please”

“We should probably get up” your words are muffled as Jungkook scoots closer to you, the feeling of Taehyung’s mouth on the back of your neck, a shiver going down your spine that makes both men separate from you.

“If we’re going too far, just let us know Y/N” you’re met with doe eyes that seem to transfer a soft yearning onto you “please”

You don’t even deem it necessary to respond as you bring your hands forward, crumpling Jungkook’s shirt and bringing his lips to yours, his mouth softly adapting to yours as you feel his breath on you, the work of his tongue soft against your parted lips, callused hand finding its way under your shirt, caressing your soft skin with his fingertips as Taehyung’s mouth is now nipping at your neck, a soft groan escaping him as his hand also makes it under your clothes, directing it the opposite way to Jungkook’s as he starts caressing the inner part of your thigh and you can feel yourself getting wetter by the second, obviously noticeable as you feel Jungkook smile against your mouth, a deep sleep-ridden giggle coming from behind you as Taehyung’s hand finds its way to the front of your panties, toying with the fabric before he finds a sensitive spot that has your legs clenching. You are almost certain that he can feel your panties getting wetter by the second.

“Would you look at that Jungkookie, sweet Y/N is already dripping wet for us”

Jungkook hums as his mouth leaves yours in favour of dropping down on the bed, expertly ridding your shirt up, the cold air hitting your nipples, a loud moan past your lips as his tongue starts swirling against the bud, his fingers teasing the other one at the same time as Taehyung keeps on teasing your cunt, fingers racking over your clothed folds, a breathy plea escaping you before Taehyung answers with a “We’re already late for schedule, Y/N, perhaps once we come back here”

Jungkook’s mouth leaves your skin with a pop and you’re almost sure a faint purple bruise is forming already at the skin he had been sucking under your breast, Taehyung’s fingers leaving your skin, a soft kiss planted behind your ear, a teasing smirk on both of his faces as they head to the bathroom, leaving you to fend for yourself on the bed.

You stay seated on top of the bed, somewhat tired after the activities you had dragged yourself to, coming up way before Jungkook and Taehyung as they kept on talking with other people in their own top rank fashion, far too decided to have some sort of payback after the morning occurrence as you continued to answer some emails, poorly dressed.

The lock gives in and you can faintly hear both Tae’s and Jungkook’s voices chatting animatedly as they make it into the room, footsteps pausing and you try to keep calm, ignoring the way your heart wants to beat out of your chest.

“Oh would you look at that Kookie, Y/N wants to have her pay back”

Jungkook turns to him a he comes close to the bed and rids you of your laptop, placing a kiss on your lips before starting to lower his mouth, littering your exposed skin with open-mouthed kisses before adding rather teasingly “It’s such a shame you’re streaming tonight, hyung”

Taehyung playfully snaps one side of your panties followed by placing a kiss on top of Jungkook’s head before making it to his bed “Better take good care of her”

Everything tunes out, making it easier to focus solely on the way that Jungkook gets rid of his own clothes so that his warm skin is touching yours, teasing touches, soft kisses and rough hands handling every inch of you before you break away from him long enough to watch Taehyung’s improvised set up across from you, switch in hand and clearly live, a moaning yelp coming out of your mouth once you feel Jungkook’s fingers caress your already wet folds, fingertips teasing your entrance as he shushes you “Better keep it down, Y/N” you bite your lower lip as you feel a finger entering you “Wouldn’t want hyungs’ followers to hear you”

Jungkook sits himself against the headboard, manhandling you in between his legs, spreading them wide as he hooked yours with his so he could keep them wide open, tattooed hand placating you in place as he keeps it firm against your lower abdomen, free hand placing your panties aside before he continues to toy with your cunt, rapidly rubbing your clit as he places wet kisses along your neck, soon two fingers inside you as he works a rhythm you can vaguely recognise as following the beat from the background music coming from Taehyung’s gameplay, Jungkook’s ragged breath mixing with your breathy moans as it stirred you further until Jungkook keeps a quick rhythm inside and out of you as you soon feel your lower region clench around his fingers before your whole body gives out, legs shaking, Jungkook placing a kiss behind your head and speaking words of praise as he helps you ride out your orgasm, his hand coming up to lick himself clean from your juices and you can see Taehyung stirring uncomfortably as he looks back at you from the side of your vision as Jungkook limits himself to hold you in his arms.

“So is this it?” You’re almost at the door, luggage rolling a few metres behind you, as you turn back to your roommates from the last three days. A pang to your chest as you dwell on how things could change from the moment you walked into the room with two guys almost half undressed, the adventures a KK slider song could bring as background music and how much it could mean.

“Are you joking? K.K. Slider has 107 songs”

Jungkook looks at Taehyung before setting his playful smile at you “We’ve still got 106 to go, you’re coming with us, Y/N”

427 notes · View notes

thrillridesz · 3 years

Text

heart racing ▫ j.yn

in part of the adrenaline rush! collab hosted by @lucas-wongs + @ickjun

⇢ pairing: jaehyun x reader (f) (ft. other nct members + twice’s jeongyeon)

⇢ genre: fluff, angst, racer!au, best friends to lovers

⇢ warnings: swearing, mentions of cheating, mentions and consumption of alcohol, alcoholism, hitting rock bottom

⇢ synopsis: once a revered member of the racing industry, jaehyun has been living at rock bottom for the past few months following a tragic accident that effectively put him out of racing. it seems as though nothing would get through to him, not even you. will he ever break out of the constant loop of doubt and start seeing things for what they really are?

⇢ word count: 8.04k

⇢ a/n : unedited! also posted on this account because I’m considering merging my nct account with my tbz writing blog also PLEASE check out the other writers’ works ^^ we’ve all worked hard on our fics

“Jaehyun, you’re ruining yourself.”

The dim room reeked of stale alcohol and something mouldy as the empty beer bottles that littered the floor clanged noisily against the surrounding furniture, leaking golden yellow liquid all over. Old, worn clothes were draped everywhere, stained and darkened with murky stains while the battered television flickered weakly to live, showing nothing but static. The walls were streaked and striated with scratches, as if someone had just been clawing desperately at them and on the floor amidst the empty glass bottles, were pieces of scrap poster paper. Sunlight peeks in through the drawn blinds, giving a teasing glimpse to the bustling outside world from the sad, decrepit apartment Jaehyun lived in.

Sprawled on the couch with nothing on except a wrinkled pair of jeans, Jaehyun’s eyes were devoid of emotion - blank and dazelike. In his hand, his fingers held on limply to the neck of yet another bottle of beer, possibly his nth for the day. His usually shiny hazel brown hair was greasy with filth and his bare chest was sticky with sweat from being cooped up all day in this tiny, stuffy apartment of his. His jawline was starting to grow a hint of stubble given how much he’d completely let himself go and dark circles were appearing underneath those intense eyes of his.

Slowly, Jaehyun lifted his gaze from the floor to look at you, the first flicker of emotions that he’d ever displayed in the whole day. You stood before him, arms akimbo, your gaze sharp and piercing. He smiled, a smile that held no mirth or happiness.

“Oh, you’re still here.”

You shook your head, ripping the bottle of beer from his grasp. As you approached, the bottles, clothes and torn pieces of paper on the ground almost made you trip and you tutted under your breath.

“Of course I am. I’m your best friend who is somehow still here with you. Best friends help each other.”

He chuckled nonchalantly, waving his hand at the door. “Well, feel free to leave then. I don’t need your help.” His eyes held a hint of anger as he did, something that did not escape your notice.

“Jaehyun,” you said softly, placing the bottle on a nearby table as you dread what was to come next. “Please, not this again.”

Your words only served to fuel the fiery spark of anger in his eyes as he said in a barely controlled tone, the irritation radiating from him in ripples that threatened to evolve into waves, “Why not? I’m a fucking wreck and a loser anyways. Leave like everyone else did. Leave like…” His voice wobbled, “leave like Jeongyeon did.”

Your heart fell and it took almost a godlike willpower not to let your emotions show. Was he still thinking about her?

“Jaehyun-”

“What? Are you gonna say I’m not a loser like you always do? Cut the fucking lies. Everyone out there is saying the same thing, what makes you think you can convince me that you’re not thinking it either? Hm?” He spat, the drowsiness in his demeanour dissipating fast as red hot anger replaced it. There was so much internal frustration within Jaehyun that just seeing him like this was enough to break your heart. It was one thing to see him in this terrible state but it was quite another to see him directing his anger towards you.

You drew in a deep breath, trying to calm your pounding heart and to stop the tears that pricked at the corner of your eyes. Having been there with him every step of the year ever since the both of you were children playing and horsing around the neighbourhood, you found yourself desperately missing those much simpler times and wondering how things became so wrong.

For as long as you could remember, Jaehyun had always been interested and had a natural flair for racing. There always existed a competitive streak in him that thrived off a challenge. It didn’t matter what it was, as long as it was a game that could have a clear winner or incited competitiveness, he was all up for it. As kids, the two of you used to compete over everything, be it for the last popsicle in the convenience store down the street or past the gates of your school. It was as if racing was something he needed in order to live. It wasn’t until sophomore year of high school did Jaehyun decide to take his love for racing to a professional level. He began to dive deep into the motorsport industry, starting out as a mere rookie in auto racing. He never did apply to college, preferring instead to invest all his time into his newfound life career.

His rise to fame was quick, quicker than most. Within his first year, he had won a number of races, beating even some of the well known names in the sport. Every other month, he was winning trophies and exorbitant cash prizes which in return earned him the recognition of famous sponsors and racers. Bumper stickers from the various sponsors decorated the back of his ride and it was no time at all before Jaehyun began to don some of the most expensive sports gear on the tracks. With his smouldering good looks, he also appeared on the front pages of magazines and newspapers, all while attracting a loyal fanbase made up of both racing enthusiasts and adoring admirers.

To everyone else, he was the suave, handsome and effortlessly cool young racer who was practically born to race and to do it well but to you, he was your childhood friend… and your first love. In front of the flashing lights and cameras, Jaehyun knew his way around the crowd. He knew exactly when to flash one of his dazzling, dimpled smiles and how to work the crowd - it was just one of his innate charms. Yet, you knew that underneath that, that flashy, extravagant Jaehyun, was the Jaehyun you grew up with and had gradually fallen in love with.

As children, he was there for you whenever you needed him, always ready to lend a helping hand when he noticed that you were stuck in an unfavourable situation. You distinctly remember what had happened in second grade. It was a bright and warm summer’s day, the lovely scent of sweet peas floating in the air as the sun bore down on the earth. Pigeons flitted over the sidewalks, pecking at the cemented floor and the leaves of the oak trees that lined the streets rustled gently in the wind.

You fell with a loud and heavy thud on your bottom, feeling the leaves crunch noisily under your weight. Fear and trepidation coursed through your veins as you stared with eyes wide at your tormentors.

“Look at her, she looks pathetic. Do it, Johnny! Do it!”

A tall, hunkering boy flanked by his cronies stood over you, his dark, massive shadow engulfing you as you frantically scrambled backwards. Tears were beginning to stream down your face and a sharp pain shot up your spine with each move, owing to the impact of the fall. There were scratches on your hands as you dragged your palms over the rough gravel in an attempt to move away.

There was a malicious glint in Johnny’s eyes and his lips were curved into a devious smirk as he stared down at you, domineering and intimidating. The veins in his arms and hands were bulging angrily and as he clenched his fists, you felt your stomach sink. Your legs began to feel like jelly and your vision was beginning to blur from all the salty tears. You were struck with fear and the sense of helplessness you felt made you feel both ashamed and furious at yourself yet there was nothing you could do.

You held your hand up to shield yourself from the impending attack as the bully lifted up his fist.

“Hey! How about you pick on someone your own size?!”

The group of you turned to see Jaehyun, eyes blazing with anger as his chest heaved. His wind-swept hair hung over his eyes, a surefire sign that he’d run over and his cheeks were red from exertion. Even from afar, he was clearly no match to Johnny’s larger build, much less the whole lot of them.

“J-Jaehyun?” You spluttered, shocked.

“Who is this clown- Ow!” Johnny stumbled backwards as a rock pebble hit him on the head, promptly ricocheting off his forehead and bouncing onto the ground. His jaw was clenched in pain and when he removed his palm, a reddish bruise had blossomed and there was even a faint trace of blood. There was a split second of stunned silence before Johnny turned almost magenta with rage.

“GET HIM!” He roared and his cronies shook out of their daze, immediately going after Jaehyun who’d already ran a good distance before the reality of what had just happened set in. His mocking laugh rang through the afternoon amidst a cackle of profanities and threats yelled at him.

It was a laugh that remained in your memories all these years. It was a laugh that strengthened you, a laugh that spoke so much of willful courage and youthful rebellion which was everything you’d eventually come to associate with Jaehyun. That laugh was bright and so… him.

Yet now, you could see none of that playful mischief and vibrancy in those eyes. All that is left is emptiness.

“You’re not a loser, Jaehyun,” you began softly, “you never were in my eyes. You were a fighter.”

Those beautiful eyes you adored so much narrowed at you, his face twisted into a scowl.

“A fighter? Guess what, y/n?” He sneered, his voice dripping with venom. “I fought. I fought endlessly but did that work out for me? I threw in everything I could, every little thing. I worked hard and put in a hundred and one percent of my effort.”

You stared at him, your heart aching for him as a single tear began to roll down his cheek, tears of anger, indignation and pain.

“But did that work out? No, it didn’t. If anything, it left me a wreck. People out there call me a loser, a has-been and even my girlfriend has left me. It doesn’t matter how much effort I put in, how much I fought because at the end of the day, everyone is only here because of what they think I am. They saw me as a champion, an up and coming and the moment I wasn’t anymore, they all dropped me in a heartbeat. What are you waiting for, y/n? Why the hell are you even still here?”

His words echoed through the empty apartment and out loud, it sounded bleak, harsh and biting. His anguished voice tore at your heart and as each word left those lips, it felt like your heart was slowly breaking apart. Neither of you said anything for a moment, locked in a silent, unspoken fight as he held your gaze steadily. His eyes were cold and there was the look of a broken man in them.

“I am here because I love you, Jaehyun,” you said finally, your voice quivering. “I don’t care who or what you are and it pains me to see you tear yourself down like this because I know you are not the loser you believe you are. I don’t know how much of this I can take, seeing you ruin yourself.”

You can see the slight softening in his eyes and you gritted your teeth.

“I’m going to go. I don’t know when I’ll be back. I can’t see you ruin yourself and be able to do nothing about it. I’m not strong enough for that.”

With that, you left the apartment before he could see the tears in your eyes.

The miserable, empty can of beer clattered loudly against the hardwood floor, the sound echoing through the dank apartment.

Jaehyun barely lifted an eyebrow, his fingers growing slack without him even knowing. He stared up at the dark ceiling, a hooded look in those once bright eyes. The stench that hung around him was growing more intense by the day and it was reaching a point whereby he could almost smell himself but there was nothing in him that seemed to care.

Sounds of active civilisation outside drifted in through the windows and occasionally, he’d hear the honking of angry drivers on the roads or the laughter of children playing at the playground at the courtyard below. Normally, he loved waking up to these sounds or at least when he wasn’t off to the race tracks, when he was relaxing with a book in his hands. Now however, he found them irksome, irritating and he wanted nothing more but to block them out. He wanted absolutely zero reminder of the world outside.

Grunting, Jaehyun dragged himself off the couch. As he trudged heavily back to his room where his comfortable bed beckoned to him, he turned to stare at the large, imposing front door where moments ago, you’d slammed shut as you left him to his own devices.

Guilt tugged at his heart and for a split second, Jaehyun contemplated running after you. When you left, there was an indescribable sense of hollowness that engulfed him in a way that he couldn’t quite understand or explain. The apartment was filthy, dark and small but somehow with you around just a few minutes ago, it felt just a little bigger, a little warmer. As much as he hated to admit it, his heart was calling to him to reach out to you, run after you. The crumpled look on your face haunted him but he shook the thought from his mind.

It would be better if you left him. If you knew what was good for you, you would.

The anger in him was beginning to resurface at the thought of everything that had happened over the past few months. His career plummeting on a downward spiral right after his recovery, the exact opposite of what was predicted by his agent.

He was born to race, his family and his friends had always told him so. He knew it himself, he could feel it in his blood, his bones, his spirit. Ever since he was little, Jaehyun had known that his career would have something to do one way or another with racing. As a child, he loved running, competing but most of all, he loved riding in his father’s pickup truck on the way to school. He loved the way the vehicle would zoom past the streets, overtaking other vehicles and he loved the feeling of the wind against his face. He loved the speed and everything about cars or racing. It felt natural for him to pursue a career in competitive racing and a natural he was.

After getting signed with a racing company, Jaehyun quickly rose to fame with his numerous championships, bagging trophies, medals and cash prizes in almost every event he participated in. Sports magazines and reporters would clamour over each other to score an interview with him. People wanted pictures with him, wanted him to sign an autograph for them.

He was the golden boy in the racing world, an untouchable.

In the racing world, everything goes a mile a minute and nothing waits for anyone. After the morbid crash at the June Tokyo Prix, Jaehyun had sustained several fractures to his ribs and a severe concussion that left him in the hospital’s intensive care unit bedridden for several months. The pain was unlike any other and every single move hurt immensely but what suffered more damage than he did was his career and his relationships.

Within months, the racing career he had so painstakingly built up for himself collapsed before him. Due to long inactivity, brands and sponsors began to drop him, slowly at first then steadily one by one. He was also constantly under the media’s scrutiny for a period of time, their cameras and microphones thrusted in his face while he lay helpless on the hospital bed. The bright flashes blinded him and the loud noises made his head pound and even now, he still remembered how that experience was like, shuddering every time it crossed his mind. It had taken Jaehyun countless hours of physical therapy before he could even think of racing competitively again.

Yet when he did, he quickly realised he never could revert back to his old self, the one who got off on adrenaline kicks while zooming along the tracks at breakneck speed, the one who only knew what it was like to win. He was slower, less coordinated. His body could no longer take the pressure racing would subject it too, or at least not quickly enough for him to make a full, stunning comeback.

The tabloids and news had run wild with his fall from grace, writing up horrible, demeaning articles about him. His rivals had mocked him to his face and he could even sense the visible disappointment from his fans emanating from the stands whenever he’d lost yet another race. The thing that really broke the camel’s back however, was when his girlfriend Jeongyeon initiated a breakup.

Jaehyun had hoped that things would turn for the better, never one to give up. He’d trained tirelessly everyday, pushing his brittle body to the limit. He never let up on himself, gritting his teeth through all the physical and mental pressure he had imposed on himself. When the final text was sent, Jaehyun could remember distinctly how hopeless and distraught he’d felt. It felt like his world, the empire he had so painfully and relentlessly crafted for himself from scratch was breaking bit by bit. To add salt to the wound, the next time he’d seen her on television, her body was plastered against his biggest rival, Yuta. Her arms were wrapped around his and her lips pressing against his cheeks with no shame whatsoever for the interviewer interviewing him, no sign of the girl who’d once told him that she loved him with all her heart.

What was once determination and naive hopefulness soon devolved into anger and resentment. Jaehyun began to let himself go and the change was drastic. Where there once existed a time whereby he’d rise from his slumber early to visit the gym, he now regularly slept well into the late afternoon. His diet began to consist largely of takeout, junk food and alcohol and his apartment got more and more cluttered by the day. He’d stopped contacting his friends and family, ignoring their calls and texts, preferring to fester in his own solitude. It wasn’t long before an odour had started to emit from his place, a nauseating mixture of stale pizza, beer and pure filth from the lack of showers.

His appearance was also no longer polished, but rather haggard as if he’d aged five years in a matter of months. He was beginning to lose his fit stature, the healthy glow he’d once been prized on by magazines and gossip columns dimming. It got to a point whereby Jaehyun had begun to avoid looking at his hideous reflection in the mirror, his self-hatred growing with each day.

A poster of him in his racing gear and his race car was tattered and wrinkled on the floor, stained with ketchup and soda. Staring at it blankly with eyes empty of any emotions whatsoever, Jaehyun swiped it up and in a swift moment, he tore it up with a large rip before trashing it somewhere on the floor.

Flopping onto his comforter, he almost moaned in pleasure as he sunk into the soft sheets. Reaching for the air conditioning control, a loud smack on the ground roused him from his hedonistic haze. His hair was sticking up in all directions as he peered over the edge of his bed to see a picture frame that had fallen from his night stand.

Holding it in his hands, he looked at it with a nonchalant air.

It was a picture of the both of you a few years ago, back when he was just kick starting his racing career. He hadn’t yet made a name for himself then as the two of you leaned in for the picture.

You had on a bright, illuminating beam on your face, your eyes alive and glittering with happiness. Your hair was down, wisps of it framing your face as the sun brought out the colour and shine of it. Next to him, you’d completely dwarfed in comparison. He had his arm around you, bringing you to his side and from the picture, Jaehyun could feel a smile begin to crack on his face at the comical height difference.

He’d looked completely at ease here, carefree with the recklessness and restlessness of the soul beneath shining through his dark eyes. His hair was wavy, styled down in that ridiculous fashion he wanted so badly to leave back in high school. He had worn a dimpled smile on his face, the look of someone who knew he was destined for greatness and believed in it.

Jaehyun was about to put the picture down when something caught his eye. He leaned in closer.

There was something about you. At first glance, it would have been clear that you were smiling for the camera but upon closer look, it looked as if you might be smiling at him instead. Your smile was softer, eyes gentler from the first time he’d seen the picture. It was the sort of smile that struck him in his heart, the kind of smile that would make its recipient feel loved, appreciated.

“I want to be a racer when I grow up.”

You turned to Jaehyun, eyes wide as saucers as you popped the ice popsicle out of your mouth.

“Why?”

He shrugged, still struggling with the wrapper of the popsicle. The two of you sat on the wooden bench, side by side as the other kids ran around the park, playing rounds of tag while their parents or babysitters sat watching over them. The sun was glaring down on the earth and though it was a great day to go out to play and sweat it out, it was also a perfect day to find an excuse to buy popsicles with what little pocket money your parents had given to you two. It wasn’t an opportunity to be missed.

“I really like racing. I don’t know if there’s anything else I’d want to be,” he said simply, grinning as he finally succeeded in breaking open the plastic.

You tried to hide the blush that was beginning to creep up to your cheeks, looking away from him.

“My mom says being a doctor is good.”

As soon as you said it, you immediately regretted your words. Jaehyun scrunched up his nose in disgust.

“No way! It’s so boring. Do you want to be a doctor?”

Quickly, you shook your head fervently. “No!”

“Then what do you want to be?” He asks curiously, sucking on his popsicle.

You are quiet for a while as you ponder over his question. What exactly do you want to be when you grow up?

“...A writer.” You said finally and he swiveled around to look at you, clearly not expecting your answer.

“A writer? Hm, why?”

“I just really like reading. I want to write interesting stories that people will like,” you take a tentative lick of your popsicle, the icy, sweet taste of apple flavouring coating your tongue, “Like fairytales!”

Jaehyun broods over your answer, seemingly deep in thought. For a moment, neither of you say another word as you sit together under the warm, sunny day, enjoying your popsicles.

“I want people to like me too.” He says suddenly, his eyes shining. “People will like my racing! I’m going to be a racer and people will like me to win!”

He hops to his feet, his popsicle raised as he made his declaration. There is a triumphant, toothy smile on his face and he says it with so much hope and gusto that you can’t help but feel drawn to his driven spirit. For a boy of five foot, there was a lot of motivation and energy in him and there was just something about him that got you transfixed.

Under the sunlight, his smile seemed almost blindingly bright with the shadows highlighting the charming dimples on those round cheeks. The butterflies in your stomach were going crazy and your heart began to pound. Your words seemed stuck in your throat and you choked out, “I t-think you’ll make a good racer, J-Jaehyun.”

You thought your heart might burst as his smile grew wider, his dimples making deeper indentations. It felt like the sun might just be a little too hot since your face felt like it was positively flaming.

“Thank you, y/n.”

Suddenly, something caught your eye and shakily, you pointed at him.

His smile dropped as his eyebrows knitted together in confusion.

“What?”

“Y-your popsicle is m-m-melting… down your a-arm.”

The elevator button made an uncharacteristic squeaking sound as Jaehyun jabbed repeatedly at it, his jaw clenched in impatience.

“Hurry up, hurry up, hurry up,” he muttered frantically under his breath, pacing the lift lobby. The red letters above the elevator were moving at a snail’s pace and it seemed as if it’s stopped to pick up some passengers on the 5th floor. How long does it take for people to move into an elevator?

Jaehyun groaned in annoyance as he watched the number on the display crawl up slowly.

This wouldn’t do. By the time it’s here, it would be too late.

Immediately, he sprinted for the stairs instead, his heart hammering against his chest.

There was great fanfare as the rowdy crowd erupted into raucous cheers, the large, industrial sized party poppers going off with a bang, covering everyone in glitter streamers and confetti. Cameras were flashing and clicking away at every corner while throngs of sports reporters flooded the holding area, all trying to reach the champions for their coveted exclusive interviews. Agents and pit crews were all celebrating with the sound of champagne bottles popping and yells and cheers of congratulations ringing through the air.

Jaehyun stood at the top of the podium, shooting the cameras his trademark stunning grin as he posed with his golden trophy that looked to be about the size of his torso. The racing suit he was wearing was uncomfortably hot and he wanted nothing more than to strip from it but the adrenaline and euphoria he was experiencing far surpassed any feelings of discomfort.

This was it, the taste of success. It was everything he lived for, raced for. This was why he always trained so hard, from dawn to dusk. This was why he put his own body through all those hours of endurance training, gym and dieting. It was all for this single moment of true bliss enjoyed and savoured after the extreme thrill of racing. Here on the podium, towering above everyone else… He was truly where he needed to be, where he was born to be.

As he stepped off and the bodyguards swarmed in to escort him to his own holding room, Jaehyun couldn’t wipe the grin off his face. Yet another trophy for display on his shelf back in his apartment. He didn’t think he’d ever get sick of it, the feeling of winning but then again who would?

Reporters were attempting to accost him at all sides, all screaming out the same old questions he had grown tired of early on.

“How do you feel after winning the prix for the third year running?”

“You hit a record timing today! How did you train for the race?”

“What do you have to say to your rival, Nakamoto who came in second this year? By a mere few seconds at that!”

Jaehyun nodded and waved at a few of them, still wearing a smile on his face but there was no answer evoked from him. He’d kept up a calm and cool demeanour throughout but once he was in his holding room alone, the moment the door closed shut behind him, he let out a loud, jubilant howl.

“Fuck yes!” He roared out in happiness before collapsing onto the couch, laughing to himself as he held his trophy above him. He badly needed a shower but he couldn’t care less, not with the trophy in his hands. Under the light, the gold shone and even as a seasoned racer, the excitement and happiness from winning never grew old. In the empty room, the victory felt even more profound, the reality of claiming the championships for yet another year sinking in.

He was in the middle of celebrating and basking in his own victory, he received a text.

Jy: how’s my man doing? congratulations on the win honey ❤️

Jae: thanks babe, it feels fucking amazing. you have no idea… also i missed you so much

Jy: we should celebrate. together, alone. tonight at my place? ;) we haven’t done it in awhile, i miss your body, your kisses

Jaehyun stared at the text. He should be happy, excited to see Jeongyeon again after so long. He had been so preoccupied with training for the big race that he’d barely had any time for her. He had missed her yet now that they were finally exchanging texts again after so long apart, he didn’t seem to feel the same anticipation.

There was something about that text she sent that seemed weirdly… detached. He had imagined their first interaction in over a month to be one that warmed him up in the inside, brought him to a whole new level of euphoria even after winning but if anything, this reality paled in comparison to the scenario he had looked forward to in his mind.

Jae: yeah sure

After pressing send, he tossed his phone onto the coffee table and rested his head against the velvety cushion of the couch. Somehow, that very short exchange with Jeongyeon had dimmed his excitement and readiness to celebrate.

His phone suddenly rang, disrupting him from the reverie he’d found himself in.

“Must be Jeongyeon,” he thought to himself and for some reasons as he swiped to answer the call, he found himself reluctant to talk.

“Hello?”

“Jung Jaehyun! I was watching your race on television, congratulations for coming in first yet again! You were terrific out there.”

Y/n.

Jaehyun smiled, feeling his heart swell at your words.

“Thanks, y/n. I really appreciate it.”

“How about we meet for dinner tonight? I know of this amazing Italian place that serves the best lasagna, your favourite! My treat too to celebrate your win, how’s that?”

At the mention of lasagna, Jaehyun could feel his stomach rumbling and his mouth watering. The tangy tomato sauce, copious amounts of cheese and spiced minced beef with soft pasta… He would absolutely be down for some well-deserved lasagna after weeks of feasting on plain, watery salads. Dinner sounded like a great idea.

“Sure, I- Wait, I can’t,” he groaned, suddenly remembering his plans with Jeongyeon. Plans he didn’t even particularly look forward to.

“Why not?” You asked.

“I um…”

Fuck, why is it so hard to say it?

“I have plans with Jeongyeon tonight,” he said, ignoring the strange pang of guilt and indignation that hit him square in the chest.

“Oh! Oh, uh… That’s completely fine. Don’t worry about it, we can always have dinner some other day.”

“Really? That would be great! How does next week sound?”

“Sounds good to me!” Even on call, he could imagine you bobbing your head enthusiastically like you usually did and that brought a chuckle out of him.

“Alright, I’ll see you then y/n.”

“See you! Please rest well, you deserve it.”

“Thank you,” he replied before hanging up.

What is this warm feeling in him?

Jaehyun raced out of the apartment complex, his eyes searching his surroundings.

The sun was glaring and he couldn’t see straight without squinting his eyes. He must have been a weird sight to behold - scruffy, pale from the lack of the outdoors and reeking of the garbage piled up in his apartment. An elderly woman walking past him tutted disapprovingly at his disheveled appearance, holding her nose as she did but Jaehyun didn’t seem to notice her. His mind was on something else, something more important.

A boy from across the street was staring at him with his mouth agape, looking like a deer caught in headlights as he shakily fumbled in his pockets for his phone. Jaehyun let his sights linger on him, wondering if he should have at least thrown on a coat but as he turned, he caught sight of a figure hanging by the bus stop, looking miserable.

He swallowed thickly, feeling the slight clench of his heart and without hesitating a single second longer, he made his way over.

The heart monitor’s methodical beating was driving him near insanity. If not that, then certainly the suffocating atmosphere of the hospital and the bandages wrapped tightly around almost every single inch of his body would. Not to mention the occasional undercover paparazzi who would try to inch their way into his ward.

Jaehyun stared up at the white ceilings, still as a plank. Every part of his body hurt to move, he couldn’t even turn his head without feeling a painful pounding in it. Sometimes, he would get dizzy spells so intense he actually felt nauseous. His appetite for food or anything in general had since plummeted. Everything, but racing.

He yearned to go out there onto the tracks, to resume his training. The Roman Prix is coming up in a month’s time and he was so far from ready. He needed to get out of this place as soon as possible, even if it meant jeopardising his own safety. His career mattered more than anything.

Jeongyeon hadn’t called either since the day he got admitted. Jaehyun had soon grown tired of checking his messages or asking his publicist for news from her, the feeling of disappointment felt deep within him. He closed his eyes, suddenly feeling a wave of fatigue wash over him.

There was a gentle knock on the door and as the door creaked slightly open, you poked your head in. Upon seeing him, you smiled softly and made your way over to him. Jaehyun watched you approach, his eyes following you.

You had brought along a basket with you, seemingly full of items. As much as he wanted to know what you’d brought, he tried not to look overeager. “I made you something special today,” you said, settling down and practically vibrating with excitement.

“What?”

“Tomato minestrone soup!” You exclaimed, uncovering the lid as the tantalising aroma of tomatoes and a medley of vegetables drifted in the air. Jaehyun almost had to restrain himself from moving, lest he shift a bone out of place somewhere.

Somehow seeing you had sparked a certain kind of joy in him. Maybe it was a sign nobody had really forgotten about him yet. He had watched his number of visitors trickle down day by day and now that it was close to a month since he’d been hospitalised, after the tragic accident, he barely got any. Perhaps three or four a week if he was lucky.

You, however, you were different. You visited him almost every other day, no matter how busy you were. You visited his bedside even if you were worn out from a long day of work, even when you had things to attend to, even when no one else bothered to. You would bring along snacks whenever you did or homemade get-well food like fish porridge or chicken noodle soup you’d whipped up yourself, though they might be far from the usual gourmet fare he was used to back when he was still active when he would go for exquisite dinner parties. Usually, you stayed for a substantial amount of time and sometimes, you even stayed the night.

Jaehyun didn’t understand why you would do all of this for a friend, a friend who never seemed to have time to spare for you at that. More than anything, the feeling of guilt in him only grew stronger with each visit yet he was grateful, extremely grateful. Your presence was like a warm ray of sunshine in this dreary hospital ward. Whenever you visited, he couldn’t help but smile even though he could not find it in himself to smile. But when it came to you, it felt natural.

“Y/n!”

At the sound of Jaehyun’s voice, you turned and even from afar, he could see your reddened eyes - a surefire sign you’d been crying. Guilt and anger washed over him in waves and he tried not to think how many times he had been the cause of your tears. If only he could turn back time, he would have shook himself for ever dismissing you so lightly like he did, before he saw the situation for what it was.

He was blinded. Blinded by his obsession for winning, fame, glory and pleasing the wrong people. In a way, it felt like a fog had been lifted before him and now that he could see, think, feel clearly… He wasn’t going to let the right person out of his grasp. The person who loved him unconditionally, not just for his fame and achievements. The person who stuck with him through thick and thin but he was just too daft to notice it. The person who always felt like home whether he knew it or not.

You.

“Jaehyun? W-What are you…” You spluttered, desperately trying to wipe your tears from your face as you stared up at him.

It took a couple of seconds for him to regain his breath, his face turning red from embarrassment and exertion. He should really start leaving those beers and junk food alone.

“I…” He panted, both out of fatigue and relief, “We need to talk.”

“Jung is getting closer, any minute now Hendery!”

“I don’t believe this! Are we looking at a potential comeback for this prix? Push, push, push!”

“It seems like we might be! Here he comes! He is absolutely mad!”

The nascars zipped along the race tracks, smoke and some bits of burnt rubber and chipped metal trailing along its wake. They were a blur of colours to the spectators, who were practically glued to their seats as they watched the race reach its climax. A massive telescreen was displaying close ups and the ranking board with huge overhead lights that illuminated the stadium. The crowd was growing wilder by the second as the racecars zoomed past them, their attention fixed on one racer in particular.

The sleek nascar was streaked in royal blue and crimson red over a metallic black base, looking almost purple and black with how fast it was flying across the tracks. The wheels were spinning so fast that the friction between the tough rubber tire and the rough granite almost lit up the tracks. It was charging forward with a steely determination and ruthlessness, closing in rapidly on a green and white nascar ahead of it.

The adrenaline coursing Jaehyun’s veins was unlike any other. The thrill he got from racing could practically send him into an all time high and a cunning grin tugged at his lips as he stepped his foot down hard on the pedal, his hands gripping tightly onto his steering wheel. Rounding around a bend, he clenched his jaw as he pushed his body weight to the left, the muscles in his abdominals and biceps flexing and straining against his racing suit as the car drifted across the tracks in a perfect arc.

“Did you see that perfectly executed drift?! Insanity!”

“Jung is absolutely on fire!”

The thunderous cheers of the crowd and the loud hum of the race cars racing across the tracks faded into the background as he kept his eyes trained steadily forward. Any time now…

“Watch out, Nakamoto,” he whispered under his breath.

Steering his wheel sharply and accelerating much to the crowd’s excitement and trepidation, his race car was now driving side by side along Yuta’s. For a split second, the two turned to look at each other through the window and even though there was no way of seeing the other’s face through that helmet, something in Jaehyun told him that his rival was angered, shocked and… Fearful.

Jaehyun grinned beneath his helmet and without a second thought, he zipped forward, leaving Yuta behind in the smoke.

“He’s going for it, he’s going for it… Wait for it… And he crosses the line! The legend has reclaimed his spot on the top!”

“And that is how you execute one of the greatest comebacks of all time, ladies and gentlemen. Jung has done what we believed to be impossible and dominated the race! I wonder how Nakamoto feels about that?”

The other commentator chuckles into his microphone.

“Well Haechan, if I were him, I’d be pissed off for sure! But I’d also be worried… So very worried.”

The crowd was absolutely wild when he’d disembarked from the car and as he removed his helmet, he was greeted with camera flashes all around him. He shook his head, running a gloved hand over his hair and he took a deep breath. The air smelled of burnt rubber, smoke and… Success.

He had done it. He had made his comeback.

His pit crew made a beeline for him, slapping him on the back, their faces jubilant and lit with pure joy. His new manager, one that he trusted and helped him inch his way back to the top step by step, shot him a thumbs up which he nodded in acknowledgement as the crowd of sports journalists, reporters and photographers began to swarm in on him.

Yet, he paid them no attention. If this was three years ago, he would have basked in the glory, the attention but now he had greater concerns on his mind. His heart was pounding now for a different reason altogether and he could feel his hands growing clammy.

Jaehyun craned his neck and searched the rowdy media crowd. Where were you?

“Jaehyun!”

At your voice, he turned and immediately almost stumbled backwards as you crashed into him for a hug. The feelings of you against him sparked a joy in his heart, a joy almost greater than winning. He enveloped you in a hug, holding your waist as he nuzzled his face into your hair. Your scent of honey and jasmine was intoxicating, alluring and a welcomed change from the smell of smoke and rubble.

The two of you had been dating for about two years now, each day together better than the previous. After he’d caught up with you that day, it was as if you were seeing a different Jaehyun from the one you’d seen in his apartment. That Jaehyun who had caught up with you at the bus stop was the old Jaehyun you’d missed and it was as if a switch somewhere had been flipped. To this day, he had never admitted what changed while you were gone for those few minutes. He had subsequently apologised for everything he’d done, even things you didn’t see a problem with. It was shocking to say the least to see the unapologetic Jaehyun apologise for anything at all, but not more shocking than what entailed a few days later.

It started with a vase of luscious red roses being sent to your workplace followed by an invitation for dinner. Before you knew it, the boy you’d loved almost all your life was courting you with a passion. It felt like a complete dream, so much so you had been afraid to wake up suddenly and realise it was all just your imagination. He’d been more of a romantic than he’d let on and many times, you had found yourself completely smitten by his stunts that stretched from learning how to make homemade chocolates for you on Valentine’s Day knowing that you liked them, even though he was well known as a terrible cook to sending flowers up to your doorstep every other week.

Within a couple of months, the two of you were dating and deeply, wildly in love.

Amidst date nights filled with laughter and kisses, he had also been steadily climbing his way back up the ranks of the racing world. After ditching his unhealthy lifestyle he had been living for the past year, the change was apparent. He’d started hitting the gym, eating healthier and before long, he was in prime condition to start racing again. Training was long and tough but he never did give up. He was more determined and driven than you’d seen him and though the old Jaehyun would have been gutted at a loss, this new, better version of him never fussed over a loss of any kind, instead learning from his mistakes.

All of his efforts had led to this ultimate moment, the taste of victory on his lips.

You noticed he had been shifting uncomfortably and you looked up, puzzled and concerned.

“Jaehyun? You okay?”

He looked at you, his ears red, a sign that he was anxious, nervous.

“Jaehyun? What-”

Your words got stuck in your throat as he knelt down on one knee, the lights overhead bringing out the sparkle in his eyes and the shine in his hair. Those dark orbs were so full of hope, anxiety and love all intermingled in one and you found it difficult to believe that those eyes were looking at you directly, the emotions in them all for you.

Jaehyun withdrew a tiny, velvet box from his pocket and popped it open. In the box, was a tiny diamond ring, glittering and absolutely regal. The diamond itself was beautifully cut and interwoven into the metal band with microfibres of white gold and it simply shone as the camera flashes went off. The crowd was going bonkers, screaming and cheering with wolf whistles.

“Y/n,” he spoke softly, his voice gentle. “You have always been there for me, always been my better half. We have been friends for over a decade and lovers for merely two but it seemed as if we always were meant for each other. It took me so long to realise that and there is not a day I don’t regret not realising it sooner. You are my everything - my past, present and future. Falling in love with you was gradual, unconscious. I guess my heart knew you the one before I even did. It started with me being in a dark, dark place where I drowned in my own self-hatred and insecurities. I was beaten, defeated and I just gave up. Where everyone did the same, you never did. You were like a beam of shining light, shining upon me and guiding me even if I didn’t notice it at the time. But when I did, you glowed even more brightly than I’d envisioned. I’d been oblivious to your beauty both inside and outside for far too long and god knows how much I fucking regret it. I’m different now though, because of you. I am the best version of myself right now because I have you in my life. You taught me how to love, allow myself to be loved. There’s no universe whereby I’d want to be without you. I can’t see myself without you in my life. I need you, I love you.”

Tears were beginning to stream down your face and the stadium had grown quieter, all tuning into what was happening.

Jaehyun looked up at you, hopeful and so full of love that you thought your heart might burst.

“So I guess what I’m saying is, will you marry me, y/n?” He asked breathlessly.

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taikeero-lecoredier · 2 years

Text

WHAT TO WRITE WHEN CONTACTING YOUR LEGISLATORS

Hello there, I am making this post as an extra for this post right here . Its about a dangerous Californian bill that will forces any websites to collect people’s ID to prove their age through third parties sites, in order to “protect children” Which honestly is just an excuse to breach people’s privacy and force them to give up on their online anonymity. The focus is to contact Californian Legislators, and ask them to stop this law. The governor must be contacted, as he’s the most important. Here’s his contact : Governor Gavin Newsom : Phone: (916) 445-2841 Fax: (916) 558-3160 Here are two scripts/ text exemples written by people I’m sharing an Anti Earn It Act Bill discord server with, namely knifefuckt and EternalE. Thank you for having written this ! !! Make sure you remain polite,and re-word your own scrip/ text,and use the following texts as inspiration so legislators don’t think its send by the same person !! California's AB2273 bill regarding internet censorship was written by Baroness Beeban Kidron who thinks open technology pursues a "regressive set of ideas, which deprive[s] children of rights, privileges, and expectations." Aside from the overwhelming stats that contradict that repressed ideology completely, it was copy-pasted from British past-tense Hollywood director Beeban Kidron and is being sponsored by 5Rights Foundation, which is a London/Brussels based office. Why is the United Kingdom pushing United States legislature? It's extremely suspicious, not to mention really REALLY dangerous.

This bill allows a small group of people in power to regulate an open source of information and connection, which is, again, extremely dangerous.

The actual data behind "internet safety" shows that the harms are INCREDIBLY overstated.

Open web has done more good for the people than any other source of modern information. California has a process in which wealthy organizations get to write their own bills and fund them through legislature.

What part of that ISN'T dangerous? We're letting foreign countries, foreign wealthy big business write American laws?

Legislature doesn't run this country, but big business does?

Its a bill that is impossible to comply with and is basically a micro EARN IT Act bill but British.

Its not realistic and its not helpful and it shouldn't be a secret.

For the sake of our experience online as a whole, please look into unbiased internet use data and make the right decision, and veto this bill from ever becoming an option.

You're not protecting children, if anything, you'll silence them.

Second exemple: To Governor Gavin Newsom, I am writing today to urge you to stop AB 2273 (the California Age-Appropriate Design Code Act) from becoming law. On the surface, it pretends to be about protecting children, but like the EARN IT Act and many other "child protection" laws, it's true intentions are aimed at subverting the safety of everyone on the internet via destroying our privacy and civil rights during a dangerous time when that is the last thing we need. It targets websites "accessed by kids" (anyone under 18), which in this day and age is practically every website on the internet. It forces websites to verify everyone's ages, and the only way to do that is to submit your govt ID or scan your face to third-party sites. This is coming at a time where people are being charged with felonies for accessing abortion care online, and being fired for posting pro-LGBT content online. More surveillance will literally ruin people's lives and get people killed. Furthermore, California has been doing everything in it's power to be recognized as a progressive bastion, especially with the rise of fascist attacks and rhetoric from the far right, both on our media and our fellow Americans. It would reflect poorly on California to enforce what is essentially the same kind of censorship laws in our state that the far right have been desperately trying to force onto all of us for the past few years. This only becomes worse when one considers that this bill is being sponsored by the British Baroness Beeban Kidron's non-profit 5Rights Foundation, which has a seething hatred for children and the open internet, which in our dangerous times, can end up being interpreted by the world as being foreign interference not too different from what the likes of Trump and the GOP enabled during his presidency. Something that I think would look extremely bad for any potential presidential considerations, and especially would only make California look even worse in the eyes of the world. Professor Eric Goldman claims this law will destroy the entire internet, and he is right. We need privacy protection, but not like this. This destroys our privacy, our 1st amendment rights, and our human and civil rights. You can't block children from the internet, to protect them you need parental oversight, not governmental or private from companies. So please, do not allow this bill to become law. California is already doing well enough without these kinds of laws; don't ruin it when we need it to be better.

#earn it act #politics #internet censorship #AB2273 #earn it act bill

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yandere-sins · 3 years

Note

Hello! How are you? May I pls request the prompts scratches and collar for Sakusa Kiyoomi for the yandere writing challenge thingy? I hope this is alright! Thank you <3

Thanks for requesting!! Sakusa is one of my favorites actually, so I am really excited to write for him! uwu Please enjoy!

Scratches - “Try that again sweetheart, I dare you.” (I don’t want to overlap prompts too much, so I am doing just this one!)

»»———————— ♡ ————————««

Living with Kiyoomi had never been easy.

When you two got married, you’d been quite intimidated by him after your husband wouldn’t look at you even once the whole day. You thought to yourself about how much he must have hated you, considering he only agreed because you two had been promised since your childhood. This marriage didn’t seem like something he was interested in, and the moment you were ‘unloaded’ at his home, you felt like the strangest organism in the whole world.

Nonetheless, you tried to be liked. If you at least couldn’t be a nuisance to him, you thought he might accept you as his partner. But all your attempts backfired gloriously. He wouldn’t eat your cooking, clean over your cleaning, ignore you after he came home from training. For the first year or so, he wouldn’t even take you to one of his matches. You were sure other spouses were allowed to go, so why not you?

But you got used to it. You had to, somehow, or else you probably would have never stopped feeling unloved and unwanted. It wasn’t what you expected, hearing about love all this time, but you didn’t have a bad life by his side, at least. His accounts were filled with money, food was delivered fresh to your doorstep every day, and though you didn’t know anyone in the city that you two settled in, you got along well enough with your neighbors, so you didn’t feel too lonely.

And what you least expected, once you accepted that you and Kiyoomi could never be an item, he started to relax too. Had you been too much? Maybe pushing him too far without realizing? Intruding on him? Or perhaps he had just been told to be nicer to you by his parents, but your surprise was great when he joined you to watch TV one evening.

Given, he didn’t speak a word and didn’t seem too interested in the show you were watching. There also were about two seats free between you, but it was a start. And gradually, your relationship improved.

»»———————— ♡

Nervously, you looked at your outfit, wondering if it was too much. Kiyoomi had never asked you to dress up to accompany him before, scowling whenever you decided to try and impress him with your fashion sense or asked to go with him. Even now, you knew that asking you to come and meet sponsors was just a way to look good in other people’s eyes; he even had a suit delivered to him that day. It wasn’t you who was wanted. It was the image of being married to someone. But as his partner, maybe that was the only thing you could do to please your husband.

“Are you ready?” he asked through the door, not daring to step into your room. He never had entered it ever since you moved in, and you wondered if it was because he disliked you so much or because he feared you were ‘dirty’. But you gave yourself an encouraging nod in the mirror, quickly making your way out. “All done!”

You didn’t expect him to stand right in front of the closed door as you opened it, almost running into him but stopping at the last second. “Do I look fine?” you asked, noticing him appraising you over the rim of his white mask. He looked comically like that, suited up yet wearing gloves and mask as if he was going to clean, but even so, you had to give it to his looks that he was handsome. You didn’t doubt your own attractiveness, but the curt, “It’s alright,” he muttered did sting.

»»———————— ♡

Had you known how exhausting these kinds of events were, you would have almost been thankful that he never took you with him before. Giving it all you had sure was taxing when you never did it before, but you wanted oh-so-badly to be accepted by Kiyoomi’s side. You didn’t even notice your own mental exhaustion until you finally had a chance to sit down.

Alone, again.

Maybe you simply weren’t fit for this kind of life. You didn’t know much about volleyball, and there were many weird insider jokes you didn’t understand. Everyone appeared so friendly, some faces still familiar from the wedding, yet you couldn’t help but notice the pity in their eyes. They were all thinking the same thing, you were sure. Just how pitiful you were to be so unluckily married to a man who never seemed interested in what you two had.

“What’s the long face for, hm?” you suddenly heard a cheerful voice, something cold being pressed to your cheek and startling you. You looked up in confusion, only to be blinded by a warm and cheerful grin, the light of the room being reflected through a water bottle and accentuating his features even more.

“O-Oh,” you stuttered, reaching up for the drink he held out to you. “I didn’t see you coming, Atsumu-san. I’m sorry, I was in thoughts...”

“No offense, but you don’t seem to have much fun,” he sighed, plopping down next to you. “It’s such a shame Omi-Omi never shows you off, yer so cute, you know? Makes it much easier to endure parties like these!”

Laughing it off, you found yourself mesmerized by how carefree Atsumu seemed. To you, all of this was a big deal, and you had always assumed it was the same for everyone. But apparently, more people shared your sentiment of the time seemingly dragging out. Without noticing, you chuckled, and Atsumu’s eyes flitted over to you before he straightened his back briefly, crossing his legs. Smirk falling over his lips, you almost caught yourself gasping at how gorgeous he looked in the ambient lighting around you two.

“That’s much better. Ya should laugh more!”

Feeling the warmth spread through your face, you quickly cleared your throat, looking away as to not stare. For a moment there, you thought he really looked like an angel, making you feel at peace around him. “I just- You know- You call him Omi-Omi?” you changed the topic quickly, trying to hide the awestruck expression on your face by hiding behind your hand a bit.

“Huh? Oh yeah. Wouldn’t recommend it, he doesn’t really like it, but it’s fun teasing him, ya know? He gets all-” Reaching up, Atsumu pushed his brows together and put on his best impression of Kiyoomi. “‘Don’t call me that, you Idiot. Work on your serve if you have so much time.’ That’s what he says to me! I’m just trying to be friendly...”

Shaking your head slowly, you couldn’t hold back your laugh as you listened to him gush on about your husband treating him ‘unfairly’. Part of you felt sad having to hear it from a third person, never having been able to collect experiences with him yourself. Still, you were also relieved to see he wasn’t just treating you so coldly. “You’re so funny, Atsumu-san,” you chuckled, and he finally stopped talking, relaxing next to you after his tirade.

“There we go,” he mumbled, and you felt his hand fall to your head, giving it some pats. It made your heart grow to receive the affection, slowly but surely making you realize you had been missing fooling around and laughing or even being touched gently for a change. “Don’t let him get to you, ya hear me? Or I’ll come and kick his ass for you!”

“Who’s ass are you kicking?” you both were suddenly interrupted, and knowing the voice, you looked up. Shame hitting you, you stood up, Atsumu’s hand falling from you as you slipped out from under it, facing your husband cautiously. “Kiyoomi, you’re back!” you mumbled, wondering if your mood change was too noticeable. “Yeah, we’re leaving,” he announced, ready to go.

“Don’t just go around touching other people’s spouses, Atsumu,” he warned his colleague sharply, his arm coming around your back. Still, not even the tip of his glove touched you, much less gentle than Atsumu did.

“Mood-killer,” you heard Atsumu complain. “Good night, [Name]!” he called after you, and you graced him with a brief smile thrown over your shoulder, waving after him while you let yourself be led out by your husband.

»»———————— ♡

The ride home was almost as tiring as the evening itself, and the streetlights passing you as you looked out the window weren’t enough to keep you awake. It was a long drive, but the next thing you noticed was a warm body carrying you upstairs from the garage. “Bastard,” you heard a voice, slowly but surely regaining your senses.

“Kiyoomi?” you asked meekly, rubbing your eyes. Blinking a few times, when you looked up, you were met with a disgusted glare staring down at you, instantly making you shrivel into yourself. A flight instinct set in, and only now you noticed he was carrying you through the hallway of your house, not bothering being gentle with the bathroom door once he reached it.

He seemed furious and disgusted, and at least one of these were emotions you had never seen him make before. You almost expected him to drop you into the bathtub as you found yourself hovering over it, but he set you down gently. Nonetheless, the sudden stream of cold water hit you like a slap in the face as he turned on the shower without even a moment of hesitation. It grew warmer quickly, but you found yourself weirded out as your clothes began to stick to you. Kiyoomi, too, barely took off his blazer before kneeling down next to the tub, reaching for the shampoo standing close by.

It was in no way gentle or comfortable as he rubbed it onto your head, the gloves he wore not helping at all. You began to splutter as you had to close your eyes, soap going everywhere on your face. “Where else did he touch?” Kiyoomi asked, almost too calm for the fact it felt like he was trying to press the shampoo into your head rather than wash you. “No- Nowhere!” you complained, ducking out from his touch and wiping away soap from your face. “What are you doing?!”

“I don’t believe you,” was all the answer you received to your question. “Tell me. Now. Don’t make this harder for us.”

“What...” you muttered, flinching as you felt his hands fall to your body, grabbing your clothes. “What’s wrong with you!” you finally yelled, swatting his hands away harder than you wished you did. Finally, you got the time to wash off the soap and open your eyes again, feeling ill-treated and confused by his actions. Though despite the warm water, as you finally managed to look at him again, you felt your body freeze.

You thought you knew how he looked at you all this time. Disappointed, disapproving, and disgusted, but this time it was different. He looked at you as if you just ripped his heart out and claimed he was fine like that, and that hurt almost more than any look before. But in the next moment, it was gone, just like a snap of his fingers, and he grabbed your wrist, tightly and unbudging even if you complained. “Try that again, Sweetheart, I dare you.”

Blinking a few times, you couldn’t decide what was scarier; seeing him for the first time up close, face only inches from yours and without the mask, which usually gave some more distance between you two, or having him threaten you. Kiyoomi never talked more than a few words with you at a time, nor did he show any interest in anything you did. “Slap my hand away again, and I will make sure you can’t use it for a long time, you understand? Don’t you know by now who you belong to?”

His questions were so clear, yet in your head, they made no sense. Who did you belong to? Who was it?

“Y-You?” you eventually muttered. “Do I belong to you?”

A question as stupid as it sounded, and yet, it eased Kiyoomi’s rage, it seemed. “That’s right,” he confirmed. “You’re mine. You’ve been mine ever since we met for the first time, don’t ever forget that. I am the only one that is allowed to touch you and no one else. Especially no sleazy bastards like Atsumu.”

“Kiyoomi...”

“Undress,” he interrupted you. “I have to clean you.”

Hesitating, you gripped your own clothes. Never before had you heard him talk like that, especially not about you. You never even believed he could have those thoughts about you, and after being unloved for so long, they felt like bandaids to your wounds. Mind you, not strong bandaids, no. They didn’t even manage to heal you partially, but who were you to complain. Because, what Kiyoomi said...

“Okay,” you whispered, slowly stripping out of your clothes. “I’m sorry... Omi.”

You were stretching your luck, but you were so close to tears as he placed his hand on top of your head. It wasn’t like Atsumu’s. It wasn’t gentle, and it didn’t fill your core with happiness. No, it pressed you down, making you lower your head and feel so insignificant compared to its greatness. But it was Kiyoomi’s. The person you wanted to be loved and caressed by the most.

“It’s okay,” he sighed, and for once, his voice sounded almost gentle and forgiving after you did something. His hand stayed as his free one helped you get out of your clothes, and laying your own hand on top of his, you felt his warmth for the first time, no glove separating you two.

And to this day, you still remember wondering if what Kiyoomi said meant that he loved you too.

Even if that meant you were living in the worst kind of relationship possible.

[You can find the prompt list here]

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julemmaes · 3 years

Text

The One Good Thing

Rowaelin Month, Day Two

A/N: again, I'm gonna fail all my exams because of this stupid app, I'm sure. Also, I miss the off campus boys so much I kinda made Fenrys one of them and I love the idea of the tog men as hockey players so yeah, enjoy;)

Word count: 2,581

Aelin would have killed for a second of silence.

She daydreamed of that almost noisy quiet that makes you feel every deepest thought hidden in your brain that exists only at 3 a.m., when every soul is resting and cars can't drive around the campus. And there are no children screaming at the top of their lungs or parties going on all night long.

That was what she had been promised, the flyers she'd been handed during the open days, when she had come to visit the college.

That was how it was supposed to be.

Aelin had tried so many times to ask her upstairs flatmate to hold his Twitch live streams strictly in the afternoons or mornings when she wouldn't be home, but when Fenrys Moonbeam had first opened the door to his place, the girl had known immediately that she wouldn't be able to change his mind even by paying him.

Especially since his live streams were followed by such a large audience that Aelin couldn't even begin to understand how he had managed to build an empire so big in just under a month. Surely it had something to do with the long blond hair, different from her own but just as beautiful, and the arms covered in tattoos so colourful they blind you. They had their own charm. Add to the pile the fact that he was the goalie on the hockey team, and he was the perfect mix for the guy to marry.

From what their common friends had told her, he was already earning enough to afford an off-campus home, but that he liked the comfort the college dorm gave.

A comfort that Aelin, after three years in those filthy rooms and shared bathrooms, had yet to find.

When yet another howl of celebration at yet another victory that everyone expected pierced through his floor and her ceiling, nearly drilling her eardrums, Aelin gritted her teeth so hard that for a moment she feared they might shatter.

She closed her eyes, taking a deep breath and trying to whisper, "Shut," failed miserably to keep her tone under control and shrieked the second word, "up!"

A booming laugh rang out upstairs and a millisecond later a message lit up her phone screen.

From Lys: Girl, maybe you should take a chill pill, I heard you on the live stream. Are you still studying?

She tossed the phone to the side, pulling her hair up and pinning it back with a pencil.

"Fuck off." she muttered under her breath.

Lysandra was one of the few in their group of friends who never missed a Fenrys broadcast. Whether it was at eleven at night or five in the morning, she was always one of the first to join in.

Aelin often wondered if she was just doing it because Fenrys was helping her sponsor her YouTube channel, but then she remembered that Lysandra would do the same for all her friends.

She got out of bed, taking all her books and notes in her arms, pen in her mouth and holding her phone between her pinky and ring fingers. She threw open the door to her room and found herself facing a wall of muscle, slamming into her roommate's chest.

Rowan's hands snapped forward and kept her from falling backwards and when Aelin looked up at his face, she almost lost her balance again.

His face was sleepy, only one eye open as he suppressed a yawn. The imprint of the pillowcase on his cheek just another sign that he had already been sleeping.

"Are you okay?" he asked her in a hoarse voice, stepping back and letting her through, "I heard you screaming. I was coming to check on you."

Aelin grimaced, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to wake you."

He shook his head, moving a hand in mid-air, "Don't worry about it." then his gaze snapped to the ceiling as another laugh from Fenrys cut through the thin material dividing their quarters. He frowned, lowering his gaze back to her, and it was at that moment that he noticed the books in her arms.

If possible, his frown deepened even more.

He closed his eyes, gently grabbing her wrist and leaning against the wall behind him, pulling her towards him.

Aelin let herself be tugged, arranging the books so that they didn't poke at either her or him in that uncomfortable hug, but she positioned her head against his chest, letting his fingers expertly massage the nape of her neck.

"Baby." he sighed into her hair. Her toes curled.

It had only been a few weeks since they had decided to start dating, a few weeks since Rowan had confessed to having feelings for her. They had exchanged a few kisses in secret from their friends, wanting to enjoy that first phase of their very fresh relationship in privacy. They hadn't done anything too steamy yet, and Aelin had more than agreed with his decision to take it slow, but one thing Rowan hadn't held back in the slightest from the first second she'd agreed to go out with him had been the pet names he'd given her whenever they were in the safety of their dorms.

Baby was definitely her favourite.

His hands slid lower, down her back, and she looked up, resting her chin on his chest and fixing her eyes in his. His gaze softened, still clouded with sleep. "You shouldn't be studying at this hour."

Aelin grunted, smacking her forehead against his chest, "But I have a test tomorrow."

Rowan sighed again, pushing her away and taking the books from her arms. "Precisely why you should be sleeping." He walked towards the common room, speaking softly and hoping Lorcan wouldn't hear them. They both knew their roommate suspected something, but he didn't have enough worries in the world for him to actually give a shit about their possible relationship, and they also knew he would never say anything to anyone. Maybe to Elide, but neither of them would bet on it. "I left you alone tonight because you needed to rest, not stay up until morning melting your brain."

She followed him like a lost dog, dragging her feet on the ground, finally feeling that visceral fatigue get the better of her.

"I can't leave the study half done."

Rowan dropped the books on the table, turning around just in time to block her before she bumped into him again and slipped the pencil out of her mass of hair, letting it fall around her shoulders.

"You're not leaving the study half done," he told her as he rubbed her arms to keep her warm, "you've spent the last five weeks studying this stuff and I'm sure you know it like the abc. You need a break." he told her.

Aelin looked up at him from under her lashes, a little annoyed that that was true, but completely distracted by the lines his fingers were drawing on her arms. She took a deep breath through her nose, puffing out her chest and thrusting out her breasts, catching the attentive gaze of her almost-boyfriend for a nanosecond.

He smiled wearily at her, "Are you sleeping in my bed tonight?"

Aelin just nodded and took both of his hands, pulling him down onto her. Rowan squinted his eyes and placed his lips on hers in a quick, chaste kiss. She hummed in satisfaction as his hands slid under her bottom and wrapped around her thighs, pulling her up. She tied her legs around his hips and rested her head on his shoulder as Rowan made his way into their tiny flat.

He lowered her onto the bed, pulling the blankets out from under her body and laying down beside her before covering them both. Aelin moved as close to him as she could, pressing her back against his chest and her butt against his crotch, tangling their legs together.

Rowan's arm wrapped around her waist as the other slipped under her head and his hand found hers under the pillow.

The second they were settled, every bit of their bodies touching, Rowan left a soft kiss on her shoulder, pulling her even tighter against him.

She smiled weakly, in a drawling tone, "Thank you."

He hummed against her skin, "That's what I'm here for."

"Don't let me die around finals time?" she asked in a teasing tone.

Rowan chuckled softly, making her back shake, "Exactly."

Aelin tried to turn towards him, wanting to trace the pale freckles that were starting to sprout on his nose now that the days were getting longer and the sun kissed his cheek every afternoon, but his arms blocked her.

"No, it's not fair for you to be the big spoon every night. I'm fucking sick of it, I want to hold you today." he muttered, the chains of sleep already dragging him towards that blissful unconsciousness.

She huffed, stopping struggling against his grip, relaxing and feeling her muscles scream with pleasure after being tense for hours on end while she studied.

She hadn't realised she'd stayed up so long, but she was terrified of failing this last exam. If she failed it she would have to wait months before she could retake it and the idea of it was getting her down more than perhaps it should have.

She started thinking about the various questions the professors might ask her the next day, repeating the answers in her mind, closing her eyes as she thought.

"Baby," Rowan grumbled, "you're talking out loud."

She hadn't realised she was biting the cuticles around her nails until his hand came to rest on her arm, pulling her hand away from her mouth. He took a deep breath, helping her turn to face him.

When she looked up at him from under her lashes, she saw the way he was fighting sleep. And she felt terribly guilty. If she was having trouble sleeping the day before an exam, that didn't mean he had to stay awake for her too.

She was about to speak, tell him to close his eyes again and let her go into the living room so she could finish going over the last few pages and then return to his room, but he put his hand on her cheek and in a soft voice asked, "What's bothering you?"

She bit the inside of her cheek, shaking her head, "Nothing."

He tried to hold back a yawn again, but couldn't this time and Aelin's guilt grew immensely inside her. "If you tell me right now what's wrong, I could help you fix it sooner. And we could get at least three hours of sleep before we have to go to class." he pointed out in an exhausted tone.

She blinked once, twice, searching for the right words.

"It's Fen. If he'd stop playing so late every night-"

Rowan quickly cut her off, closing his eyes, almost as if he could no longer physically stay awake. "Ace, Fenrys never really bothered you. You've always managed to study and ignore it. What is it that's bothering you?"

Aelin let go of a shaky breath, "It's nothing, really. We'll talk about it tomorrow."

He only opened one eye, watching her carefully as she hid her face against his chest and wrapped her thin arms around his torso.

His hand began to slowly massage her back, "If we don't talk about this now I'll be up all night worrying."

She huffed, knowing full well how true those words were. For the love of the other, she began to ramble on about the real reason she hadn't been able to focus on the textbooks.

"I don't want to tell anyone we're together yet," she confessed under her breath.

Rowan opened both eyes then, fixing them on her and giving a small nod with his chin to keep her going.

"It's not that I don't want to tell the others," she said, referring to their closest friends, "but the second they find out, the news will become public knowledge and there are some people I really don't want to let that information get to."

He nodded, understanding perfectly who she was talking about.

"We don't have to tell anyone," he kissed her forehead, continuing to talk in that position, his lips brushing against her skin with every word he spoke, "it'll be our little secret for some time more, until we figure out how to get all the puck bunnies off our backs."

Aelin smiled, lifting her chin and kissing him.

Being the captain of the hockey team, Rowan didn't exactly go unnoticed on campus. Not many people approached him during the day, especially when Lorcan was at his side, knowing full well that they would receive nothing but a rude invitation to leave, but their friend couldn't spend his life attached to Rowan's hip, and the few times the two of them had gone out alone it had happened that a horde of fans had overwhelmed them. After those afternoons, Aelin had found herself the victim of not so nice threats from unknown numbers, as had happened to Lysandra when she had first started dating Aedion.

With Manon's help they had managed to track down the senders and Rowan had been unpleasantly surprised to discover that it was one of the girls he always partied with after the games. A girl he'd always considered a friend.

Rowan had taken all the blame, feeling responsible for those attacks on Aelin and it had taken months to convince him that he had no part in the insanity of others.

They'd started limiting the dates they went on as a pair, even when they were just friends, to prevent similar things from happening again, but Aelin felt trapped.

And she knew it was the same for Rowan.

She wished she could get a place off campus, where she could retreat with him, away from the prying eyes of the world, but it didn't seem right to bring up the topic of 'let's move in together' after not even three months of dating.

Rowan rested a hand on her cheek, moving a strand of hair behind her ear, "It'll be fine. And if anyone finds out and the threats come back, we'll do something about it."

She nodded, not entirely convinced and not at all reassured.

He knew instantly, "Aelin, whatever happens, I don't care what others think. I've waited years to finally have you. I've been on the sidelines all this time, watching you go on date after date with everyone and never with me-"

"You never asked," she mumbled in annoyance.

Rowan continued as if she hadn't spoken, "I would have preferred not to be the talk of the town all the time, but I'm not going to let public opinion take away the one good thing in my life."

She opened her mouth wide, "What about hockey?"

He shrugged, looking at her, "Hockey is just a sport."

"If Lorcan could hear you right now..." she shook her head.

"But Lorcan's not here. And you won't tell him," he made her silently promise.

They exchanged another brief kiss, before they carried on talking about all the worries she had and every word that came out of his lips acted as a sedative for her fears, killing one at a time, until she fell asleep in his arms, lulled by his soft breathing on her neck.

tog tag list (if you wanna be added or removed just dm me or send me an ask)

@maastrash @ireallyshouldsleeprn @sleeping-and-books @hellasblessed @thegoddessofyou @ghostlyrose2 @claralady @sayosdreams @perseusannabeth @letstakethedawn @terrible-and-proud @post-it-notes33 @booksstorm @nalgenewhore @queen-of-demons-and-hell @lanyjoy-13 @vasudharaghavan @cupcakey00 @bri-loves-sunflowers @queen-of-glass @thewayshedreamed @the-regal-warrior @fangirlprincess09 @januarystears @rowaelinismyotp @starbornsinger @bookstantrash @thegreyj

#rowaelin month #rowaelin #rowan whitethorn #aelin galathynius #rowaelin month day two #tog #throne of glass #rowaelin fic

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justcourttee · 3 years

Note

Adrien asks mari out and she says i would of been so happy in the past but now its too little to late. She's engaged to Damian but they haven't announced it yet

Bittersweet

It had been a while since Adrien had found himself in Gotham City. Too many years to count on his hand. Yet when he received an invite from Marinette he didn’t hesitate to hop on the next flight to attend her gala.

He had no idea that she had created a partnership with Wayne Enterprises, in fact, he had no idea they were interested in the fashion world at all. Then again, why should he be surprised? When Marinette put her mind to something, nothing would get in her way.

Ever since he had taken over his father’s company, Adrien hadn’t had much time to keep up with his old school friends but it hadn’t stopped them from trying to keep him in the loop. From what he could gather, Alya and Nino would also be attending, Rose and Juleka too. It would be nice to see them all again, especially Marinette.

Stepping out from the warmth of his hotel room and into the cool streets, Adrien couldn’t help but let his mind drift to thoughts of her.

It took Marinette moving to the States for him to realize how much he was in love with her. It was something he never wanted to admit seeing how much he adored Ladybug, but as she disappeared from his grasps, he was left to face his true feelings.

Glancing at his phone, Adrien confirmed that he was mere minutes away from the address she had listed. The gala was still a few days away, but Marinette asked if he had wanted to meet up for a late-night coffee, a Gotham specialty. Even her scarf that she had gifted him ages ago couldn’t hide the red on his cheeks as he imagined the perfect date with the girl of his dreams.

He paused, reaching the door of Deja Brew, his heart beating a million miles a minute. Somewhere in this late-night shop was his best friend. How would she react to seeing him again? Would she be as excited as he was? Would she feel the same way as she did?

Taking a deep breath, he pushed through the door, his eyes glancing through the scattered exhausted customers until they landed on her. She still hadn’t noticed his presence, her nose buried into her sketchbook, her coffee still steaming beside her seemingly untouched.

She was early.

The thought almost drew a laugh as he approached the counter to place his order. Of course she would have finally picked up some time management skills by now. Marinette was 27 and slowly making a name for herself as the future of the fashion industry. That wasn’t something accomplished by constant tardiness.

He picked up his cup, placing a ten into the tip jar, the hostess’ raised eyebrows making him smile. He could already hear his father scolding him. After all, that wasn’t the way to becoming a billionaire. You only make money by holding onto it.

Honestly, Adrien didn’t understand why he had to be a billionaire. His father said it would raise the bar for their line, but it just wasn’t in Adrien’s heart to hoard all of the money unnecessarily. Maybe the Waynes offered Marinette the same advice. Maybe they had something they could relate to together.

“Excuse me ma’am, is this seat taken?”

His heart had finally slowed down but as her eyes slowly peeked up at him under her lashes, it immediately began somersaulting once more.

“Oh Gods, Adrien!” She was out of her seat before he even had the chance to set down his coffee, her arms flung around his neck. He hoped and prayed she couldn’t feel his chest threatening to explode. “You should have said something! I’ve gotten into the bad habit of zoning out in public places.”

Her smile was blinding as she unwound herself, slipping back into her seat, motioning for him to sit as well.

“How was the flight? Did you fly private or first class?”

Adrien gasped, his hand covering his chest as if she had shot him.

“I only flew business thank you very much.” Marinette’s look of mock disbelief earned a small chuckle.

“That must have been so hard for you. I really am sorry you went through so much trouble for my sake.”

“You know, I would go through so much more for you Marinette.”

Her smile faltered for a moment, so quick that if he hadn’t been staring so hard at her, he might have missed it. Did his statement make her uncomfortable? He had only meant it jokingly with the truth laced in, but he was sure his eyes gave him away. They always softened when it came to her.

Marinette cleared her voice, her true smile shining once more as if the falter never happened in the first place.

“You’ve missed so much, I don’t even know where to start.”

“How about from the beginning?” She nodded as she dove into her move to the States and how she began as an intern for the CEO, Tim Drake, years ago and slowly worked her way up to personal assistant.

She recounted how Tim found her sketchbook at work one day and showed it to his father. Together they agreed that she was their way into the fashion industry, an investment that could open the door to many more jobs for the Gotham citizens.

It took two years, but she finally had a full line that was presented at Bruce’s first fashion show.

“So many big names were there Adrien! I really thought I was gonna faint!”

His smile became softer and softer as she recounted meeting the rest of the Waynes and finally after six long years, she had made enough of a name for herself to be holding her own official Gala, the Wayne’s simply a sponsor.

“That’s amazing Marinette, you’re amazing.”

She beamed proudly, her smile pulling at his heart.

“I couldn’t have done it without them. They are genuine and kind people and they are pretty much family.” Something glistened in her eyes as she spoke of them. It could have been obvious to anyone, Marinette cared so deeply for these people.

It was Adrien’s turn to falter as an ugly thought passed.

She’s so comfortable here, she would never want to come back to Paris with me.

He was shocked with himself. This was no time for jealousy. His best friend, the love of his life, was excitedly telling him about a future she had built for herself and the only thing he could think was that it was an obstacle keeping her from him?

Adrien desperately wanted to smack his own forehead, but for Marinette’s sake he straightened out his smile instead.

“I’m so sorry. I’ve only been talking about myself! What’s new with you? How’s your dad’s business? Do you have anyone you’re seeing?”

His eyebrow raised at the last question. She asked the question he so desperately wanted to ask her. And she did it so casually, equating it to his work and social life. Did that mean she was also fishing for his response?

“Nothing much. Dad wants to move from a multi-million dollar business to a multi-billion dollar business so he’s been pretty aggressive about money lately. He didn’t even want me flying over here for the gala.”

Marinette snorted much to his amusement. She knew how his dad was and how petty he could be as well.

“And as for your last question,” he paused watching her face carefully. “No, I am not seeing anyone.”

He waited for the reaction, any reaction really. But none came. Instead, she simply nodded as if she expected as much. Maybe he had read into it too much. She really could’ve just been asking for the sake of catching up. Should he ask too? Was that what she was leading up to?

Adrien cleared his throat before taking a long draw from his cup. This was so nerve wracking. She looked so content, so grown. This was a Marinette who had grown leaps and bounds while he was still stuck in this high school romance that was quite possibly one-sided.

“Well, I hate to cut it short but it’s going to be a long day tomorrow and Damian will be here any moment to pick me up.”

She slid out of her seat so effortlessly, her sketch book snapping shut before it disappeared into a bag that he hadn’t even noticed. Her smile was just as warm as he remembered, but something was missing from the girl he loved.

“Your eyes.” The words slipped out of his mouth before he could stop himself. Marinette’s smile faltered as she tentatively reached up to touch her eyelid, confusion etching it’s way into her face.

“Is there something near my eyes Adrien?”

“No, no, I’m sorry. That’s not what I meant. I just-” Adrien bit his lip, trying to string his thoughts together before he sounded even more like an idiot. “You used to stare at me with such soft look. I’m sorry I never noticed, but once I did, it was all I could see. Yet now-”

He trailed off as her lips drew into an o, her hand moving slowly from her eye to her lips, trying to hide her shock.

“-now, I can still feel the love in them, love directed at me, but it’s not the same love is it?”

She looked like she wanted to say something, but she couldn't find the right words. He knew she was trying to explain that he was wrong, but couldn’t bring herself to lie. It was the only confirmation he needed.

He slid out of the booth, his hand grasping the scarf slipping from his neck.

“Marinette, I was so excited when you invited me out tonight. In fact, I thought of it as a date.” She tried to reach out, but Adrien took a step back, tears brimming in his eyes. “I don’t blame you at all, please don’t think I’m saying all this to make you feel guilty. I just had to get it off my chest.”

Adrien blinked hard, trying to spill the tears clouding his vision. This was harder to say than he thought. Her eyes were so distracting, the sympathy oozing toward him in waves.

“I love you, Marinette Dupain-Cheng. I know you’ve made your life here and I would never dream of taking that from you. Hell, if you asked me to, I would drop everything to be at your side in an instance. Is there any chance at all that after the gala ends, we could give this a shot? Just one real date. Not some deluded fantasy I created in my head, but something we both consent to.”

He flinched when her hand finally made contact with his upper arm.

“Adrien, I love you. I really do. But you were right when you said my eyes had changed. That soft look is meant for someone else now. He and I had tried to keep our relationship quiet, but tomorrow at the gala, I was going to announce my engagement to Damian.”

Adrien couldn’t help the small sob that left his mouth. He was painfully aware of the few scattered glances all directed toward him, but he couldn’t help it. He felt Marinette pulling his head down until it laid resting on her shoulder, her small arms wrapping around his figure. It was embarrassing how hard he cried, unable to hold back his sobs any longer.

“I’m so sorry Adrien, I had no idea your feelings had changed. You were always chasing after a dream when we were younger and when I left Paris, I had finally decided that there wasn’t a chance after all between us.”

He knew she meant her words as a comfort, a promise that at one point, she would have gladly accepted his offer. Why couldn’t he have seen it earlier? Why was he so blinded by a partner who never even revealed herself right to the end? He had someone who trusted and loved him with all of their being and he ignored their feelings for a what if.

Adrien slowly pulled himself from her grasp, his smile shaky. He took a moment to use the end of his scarf to dry his soaked face.

“I’m glad you told me that Marinette. I really am. And I hope you and Damian have a long and prosperous life together.”

Her eyes widened, her mouth forming the wait, but he was already out of the door, running. It was a cowards move, one he would mull over all night. But it was too painful to look into the eyes of one you love and only find pity reflecting in them.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

“So you came?”

Adrien turned, his smile bittersweet as he embraced Alya, his fist connecting with Nino’s outstretched hand.

“How could I not support her? She’s worked so hard to make this a reality. My feelings can take a backburner for one night.”Their eyes all trailed to the center of the room where she stood, her arm threaded through with the man he assumed to be Damian Wayne. “Besides, you can tell. She loves that man beside her more than anything in this world.”

The glint of the ring on her finger caused an aching in his heart. Despite it all, he really did wish the Wayne boy no ill will. If he was who Marinette chose to spend the rest of her life with, then Adrien trusted her decision.

“I’ve never seen her smile so bright. And to think, I used to believe her smile was at its maximum blindlingness.” Nino’s chuckle earned a small chuckle from Adrien as well.

There was no denying it.

Marinette was where she belonged. The only thing left was for him to support her in any way that he could. And that was exactly what he planned to do.

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