#the world will end in literal eternal fucking sunshine

[solar-wing]

I have only done one song fic in my entire life, and it traumatized me beyond so many words, that I swore off that entire genre of fanfiction for a thousand generations.

I can't even read it without my body feeling like it's going through a time-warp portal (I literally will scroll/skip past the entire thing even if I'm missing a bunch of critical context)

so how in the world is it plausible that my entire theme revolves around the literal fucking sun and you expect me to NOT want to dedicate a song from Eternal fucking Sunshine to a whole ass fic...

HOOOWWWWW?!?!?!#$%$%?>?$?>$?.!!?!?!?

ms. ponytail, i love you girl. but count your whistle tones...

[ladcedes]

melodrama

charles leclerc x musical theatre actress!reader, social media!au

summary a melodrama is defined as a dramatic piece with exaggerated characters and plot-lines that play to the audience’s emotions. when charles leclerc dates a queen of drama, there is bound to be some that seeps into his life.

notes yes, the title was from the lorde album. warning, google translated french

the anniversary posts

yourusername

Liked by lilymhe and 582.382 others

yourusername mon amour ❤️ i never could’ve imagined that i would spend 5 years with you… and i never imagined that i could find someone so amazing, who could make me feel like the most spectacular person in the world, the most special girl, yet also remind me of how human i am and how i’m allowed to be only human. you always manage to whisk me away from the pressures of life, push everything away, and make it feel like it’s just us in this world. you, my darling, are the comfort and calm of my soul. with you forever by my side, i can face anything

view 366 replies

12 March 2023

arthur_leclerc i can't believe it's been 5 years since you two started being publicly insufferable

⤷ charles_leclerc nous t'aimons aussi, arthur 🙄🙄🙄 (we love you, too, arthur)

carmenmmundt congrats on 5 years and cheers to many more!!

⤷ yourusername thank you love! ❤️

f1wagsite the caption is too sweet im jealous

⤷ ynfans2023 literally their relationship makes me wanna go in the bathtub with my hairdryer

charles_leclerc

Liked by alex_albon and 906.438 others

charles_leclerc always the light on my darkest days, my sunshine when it rains, melting away all my worries and doubts, always bringing me up from the lowest of low points. you are my courage and strength. you shine so brightly that you light up everything around you, including myself. you bring out the best in me and love even the worst. you give warmth to the deepest corners of my soul. with you, i’m the best and most natural version of myself. these 5 years together have been the best years of my life, i wish i had met you sooner. even eternity isn’t enough to be with you, mon étoile ❤️

view 523 replies

12 March 2023

lewishamilton congratulations guys ❤️

pierregasly congrats on 5! so where's the ring mate? 😂😂

⤷ alexalbon seconding this 😂😂

⤷ hamilfans pierre?? ALEX?? do they know something we don't or are they playing??

valenciacia the caption??? ME WHENNN 😭😭😭😭😭

⤷ f1girliee RIGHTT like "even eternity isn't enough to be with you"???? i'm going crazy.

⤷ leclercwdc i'm about to go take a bath with my toaster rn

charles_leclerc posted • 8/2/2023 | yourusername posted • 2/3/2023

charles_leclerc

Liked by pierregasly and 867.338 others

charles_leclerc my favourite actress ❤️ unbelievably proud of you, mon cherie @yourusername.

to be blessed with the love of such a hard-working, talented actress is an honour. you performed amazingly tonight and every other night before.

11 February 2023

view 406 comments

yourusername charlie you are such a sap (i love you so much)

⤷ charles_leclerc only for you darling (i love you more)

itsnessa they make me believe in love

⤷ loveleclerc real i don't know what i would do if they broke up

⤷ wdcleclerc i think i would lose hope in love

44britcedes my fav couple 🫶🫶🫶

yourusername

Liked by charles_leclerc and 724.198 others

yourusername all's well that ends well

3 May 2023

view 698 comments

myagramm is the ring on yn's finger a new addition orrrr

⤷ pierregasly i guess we found where the ring is

⤷ leclercism beating the breakup allegations with marriage allegations. only them.

⤷ myagramm PIERRE?? HELLO???

httpsainz is that ring what i think it is

solarpiastri im actually crying they rlly said fuck the break up rumours and decided to start up engagement rumours instead

a/n: might make a part 2 if i feel like it in like 5 months

[hapinesbuterfiy]

hi!!!! can you do fangirl reader making rafe listen to eternal sunshine 🥹

this is quite literally my reaction to the album... best album she's ever made.

. ≀ㅤ⁺ ☀️ ♡ ˚ . 💋 ୧ !

release night is major. not only is the ariana grande drought over, but everything must be perfect for your first listen of the album.

it's 8pm on march 7th, the album comes out in a few hours. you've already prepared a list of things you need to buy for your mini-release party, mini as in just you and rafe in your bedroom. you insist that he has to be there because he would be a terrible boyfriend if he wasn't!

"i need to go to target. we need red candies. oh and i need red pajama shorts to match with my eternal sunshine hoodie. text when your here!" you chirp at him from over the phone, you can practically hear his eye roll through your device, he's fed up with your shit.

"yeah yeah, alright. lemme guess i'm the one payin' for this shit? this is insane. it's a fuckin' album listen to it and call it a day. you're insane." you gasp. why is he so mean? "rafe it's important, stop being boring!" you see his black jeep pull into the driveway, you grab your shoulder bag and throw on your brand new baby pink adidas sambas, you have shit to do!

once you get to target, you force rafe to roll around the bright red shopping cart. you continuously plop whatever red candies and sodas you find into the cart as you stroll down the isles. rafe doesn't spare you from his commentary constant "you done yet?" and "fuckin' spending all my money on ariana grande. this album better be fuckin' made of gold or sum shit" spilling out of his mouth.

rafe eventually drags you out of target, his short patience span getting the best of him per usual. shopping bags in hand as he opens the passenger seat's door for you to get in.

the rest of your night goes by rather quick. that is until you find yourself submerged under your fluffy pink duvet cover with rafe practically suffocating you with his bicep, trying his best not to fall asleep. it's 11:59pm. 1 minute until the album, which feels like the longest minute of your life.

by the second you hear ariana singing on intro (end of the world) you're already screaming. rafe has to take a step back, confused as to why the fuck you're in tears over a minute-long intro. "you're a minute in and already sobbing? jesus christ." it's going to be a long night.

[sunflowerxthoughts]

Mastermind [A meet cute] Rockstar!Eddie MunsonxNepo!Reader

First installment of the series: how they met. There is a lot more to come but!!! I’m having a lot of fun with this one. {Masterlist}

This story is +18 and simply fluff. MINORS DNI or you will be blocked. Thanks! Requests are open as always and thank you for reading.

Eddie fucking hates red carpets. The flashes blind him, paps screaming at him make him mad and even if he has has the shittiest of days he has to be nice to the interviewers.

Today is a little different. Yeah, it still sucks but him and the boys have been invited to Angel Valley’s 20th anniversary gala. His favourite band after Metallica had invited Corroed Coffin to their anniversary event and he is still pinching himself. 

And most importantly, he was hoping to meet you. The sweetest face in the world and enchanting eyes, he’d seen you in magazines, followed your instagram and had the stupidest crush on you.

Contrary to what one might believe, you were far from the kind of girl people thought he’d go for. A casual style but still chic, always the right amount of flattering make up and kind disposition. Quite literally you two were midnight and sunshine. 

You knew Eddie, who didn’t? The bad boy persona with a touch of awkward, the long hair and the soft parts you knew he had in him, he was, in your eyes, dreamy. When you saw him in the guest list you made sure to line up his turn with your turn so that you could bump to him. Your plan for the night was to get his number, at least he could become a good friend. 

Sure enough, Eddie was being interviewed when you started taking your first pictures.

“So Eddie, how is the new album coming along?”

“Oh!” Same fucking opening question before the saucy ones, he knows. “Yeah, it’s looking great! We have been experimenting and we are very excited!”

“Who are you looking forward to meeting the most tonight? Some lady maybe?”

“I’m in a room full of my heroes John, my love life is really the last of my thoughts as of now.”

“Ah ladies and gentleman, the eternal bachelor from Corroed Coffin!” Eddie refrains from punching the life out of the man. “What about the most talked about lady here tonight?”

Eddie instantly turns to look at you, effortlessly posing for the camera and he thinks he might faint. You looked like something out of his daydreams and he worried he would have actual drool trailing down his chin.

“I feel like my hands are tied here mate, her dad invited us here and I’m not about to get kicked out. Again, these people are our heroes.” 

Seeing as Eddie won’t spill anything, the man ends the interview and he makes his way next to Gareth and the boys, who oddly enough are sat in the same table as Metallica. Of course you had changed the sitting arrengements so that he’d be in your line of view for the night and it was only a bonus he was sitting next to fucking Kirk Hammett.

The dinner goes smooth, a few speeches here and there, a bit of music, good food and of course some shared glances and a dust of blush in his cheeks.

“You should go talk to her, you know.”

“Huh? Who?”

“Y/N, you two have spent most of the night staring at each other.”

“Oh, we met after the red carpet actually, but I don’t think it’s a good idea, Kirk. Her dad is right here and they’ve done so much just inviting us.”

“You are one of the big names now, Munson. Just as important as anyone in this room. Besides, look at her.”

“Yeah she is beautiful but-“

“And borred out of her mind. She loves this things but we’re all a biiiit older than both of you, I bet she’d love a friend right now.”

Eddie takes a deep breath and as everyone goes to mingle on the makeshift dancefloor (who would’ve thought most of these people enjoyed the ocasional Abba) and talk to old friends and familiar face, he makes his way to the chair next to you.

“Hi, we met in the red carpet before! I’m Eddie.”

“Eddie, I do remember you. Not that I’m complaining but what are you doing here?”

“Just figured you’d like a friend, people here are…”

“You can say they are older dude, it’s fine” you laugh and he can’t help but laugh along.

“I’m just going to say it, I thought you were spectacular in Romeo and Juliet.”

“You saw it? Don’t you think it’s overdone?”

“Yes I saw it! And I thought the spin on the whole thing was great, really. I don’t usually enjoy romantic stuff but it was great.”

“Ah, so the great Eddie Munson doesn’t like romance? More of a heartbreaker kinda guy?”

“Oh god no what I meant-“

“I know dummy, I’m just messing with you. We’re friends, right?”

“Right, right.”

“It’s weird isn’t it? I’m your friend yet I don’t have your number.”

Eddie feels like he might die. You are asking for his number and calling him a friend but he knows, the tone in your voice is saying a whole other thing. 

He does give you his number. You save each other names with silly emojis next to each other.  The rest of the conversation flows easily, a little bit flirty even. It isn’t until Gareth calls him over that he actually moves. He doesn’t want to but he was the one to tell the guys they had to network.

You stay sat in your chair, thinking over your interaction. He’s cute and he seems like a great friend already. It makes you want to meet the rest of the band too. This gatherings would be so much better if he just came with you on a regular basis. 

“Uncle Brian” You smile at your uncle who isn’t your uncle but he is for sure your uncle.

“So? You and Munsooon?”

“Uuuuugh please don’t tell me you and dad saw!”

“Only me, darling. He seems nice, future boyfriend perhaps?”

“Friends, just friends.

“For now?”

“I don’t know, but you know how things are in this world. He’s cute but it’d be super public. Besides, he really admires dad and I wouldn’t want to make things weird.”

“Sweets, I’m not telling you what to do. However, take him to breakfast. You never know, it might be love.”

It was the start of a beautiful, but you were just fine knowing that both his tour and your next film shared a few locations. And breakfast with Eddie Munson sounded sweet like honey. This was the start of something that could go terribly well or fucking terrible, but both of you were excited to know which one would it be. What’s life without a little adventure?

[sauron-kraut]

For the headcanon ask game 👀

Mairon: 🎭 👻 🏳️‍⚧️ 🏳️‍🌈 😇

Finrod: 🪢 💔 😬

My friend, is the choice of characters a homage to the 2016 ask game? :D

Mairon

What he lies about: I mean, lying and deceiving is basically canonically his job.

He lies if it serves him and his purposes, maybe even to himself from time to time.

What scares him: Having to face the world to the end of all times without Melkor and the ever growing void inside himself.

He fears seeing Melkor in his dreams and also longs for it.

A gender headcanon: I already messaged you this so it's going to be a bit repetitive but: While technically being a male presence, Mairon carries a lot of androgynous and femme energy; the concept of gender doesn't interest him too much; as the spirit he is he is outside and above it. His gender is violence and seduction.

A sexuality headcanon: Similar to concepts of gender concepts of sexual orientation are not really something he or Maiar in general pay much attention to or that apply fully to (all of) them; I see them as these otherworldly beings who do not necessarily care about categorizing or limiting themselves.

Generally speaking in my headcanon being sexual often serves some kind of purpose for him, on the other hand when he seeks sexual connections (after Melkor) one aspect of those might also sometimes be just to feel or to satisfy a primal hunger.

A headcanon about his religion/lack thereof: Being a Maia he's technically closer to being part of religion (even when Maiar and Valar walk / used to walk among elves and men and as Sauron he's very present in the story but that's a topic for another day) than being religious. I believe he's very aware of how to weaponize religion though, as he shows in Númenor with the Melkor cult he sets up (which also has desperate undertones imo).

Finrod

Bro this was super hard because I literally just think the man, while regal and determined and loyal, is an absolute angel and sunshine and daisies all day and can do no real harm (other than to Sauron's wolves and his enemies in general obv).

A headcanon about his family: Galadriel is obv ethereal and creepy, his brothers are distant and serious and Finrod Friend of Men Felagund is just a fucking hippie.

An angsty headcanon: As much as he appreciated and admired everything Middle Earth had to offer him he did feel a bittersweet pinch of regret about not having stayed in Aman as he was slowly dying from the wounds Sauron's wolf had inflicted on him. And after being reembodied in Aman he will eternally long for the company of those (men) he befriended in Middle Earth, knowing he will not see them or their kind ever again.

A headcanon about the worst thing he has done: I wrecked my brain and I can't think of anything substantial in my headcanon.

[anotherblblog]

2023 Review - Shows

okie okie, well, I'm not the most consistent poster but I did wanna join the look back at 2023 with some top hits (and misses)

Top Shows

1. Utsukushii Kare s2/Utsukushii Kare Eternal

I literally flew across the world and then proceeded to fly back and forth between Thailand and Japan I think 4 times to watch all the Utsukare stuff happening and it was very much worth the miles and hectic sleep schedule. Utsukare s1 made me love bl's again after I had gotten burnt out on them and when I saw the trailers for s2 and the movie, I fully let myself have hope and both of them delivered. Utsukare s2 did more with 4 episodes than many many many many shows do with 12-14-18 episodes. And this was the second bl movie I saw with no subs because I couldn't/didn't want to wait and similar to Gameboys the movie, this was the right decision for me. ITSAY was my longtime number 2 favorite bl show but Utsukare s2 and the movie and the hope for a 3rd season let it get the leg up my overall rankings.

2 - 5 the best of the 2023 GMMTV suite Moonlight Chicken Only Friends My School President Midnight Museum

I think the one I had the fewest critiques about is Moonlight Chicken and the ending of Only Friends still makes me unhappy to pissed depending on the day. It's hard for me to settle on a ranking for them because there's something about each of them I would desperately want to change/see done differently. Actually thinking more about it, my Moonlight Chicken critique is this should be one of the shows GMMTV has 12-14 episodes of. So sure, Cheating McChicken, Nightly Nuggets, McInfidelity is my favorite of the GMMTV shows I watched. My School President was really strong but I think the cast could have been culled a bit. Tinn's mom's arc was so damn compelling for me, really stands out. And I am a Gun simp and him playing multiple characters again and being evil gay Jesus and Tay Tawan also being evil gay Judas or whatever, sign me the fuck up.

6. Jack o'Frost

I wanted to watch this one because I saw a picture of Kyoya Honda and said "oh she's pretty" out loud to myself and then watching this series and then Me, my Husband, my Husband's boyfriend, Kyoya is pretty and can act. Amnesia plots aren't my favorite but I do think Jack o'Frost is the best executed of the ones I can remember (pun intended?).

7. The Campfire/My Universe

I felt nearly contractly obligated to watch this one because Turbo told me directly he was proud of his acting in this one and that he and Kaow did really well and he was right. I was engaged and affected by the gayest campfire horror short story. "I (M) like him but he liked you (F), so I (M) dated you (F) to stop him from getting a chance." And then comes ghostly revenge. Hilarious comedy and gay rights and gay wrongs galore.

(Dis)/honorable mentions:

8. Our Skyy 2: Bad Buddy X A Tale of Thousand Stars.

I would not have bet my worst enemy's money that we would see Ohm and Nanon together again. So them getting an Our Skyy episode was definitely a surprise. I didn't dislike their episodes or the crossover execution but I do think it could have had another 2 episodes or something so it could have had more room to breathe. I considerd the Our Skyy premise to be kinda like OVAs in anime, it's semi canon material, mostly just letting the cast and crew "do a silly one" as it were, so I wasn't necessarily looking for anything as powerful as Bad Buddy and AToTS but seeing them together again, just made me want more than what I was given.

9. Shadow

Well, you gotta swing to hit some shots. Singto and Fluke are two good actors who have had.... some odd projects they've done that I felt didn't let them really act - looking at you Oh My Sunshine Night. Shadow at least let them act and the premise/first half was really promising. The ending was a bit botched in my opinion but I do think the potential and the performances from Singto, Fluke, an Fiat were all really strong.

10. Love Syndrome 3 Uncut

When the trailer said this would be the erotic thriller of the year, I knew we were being threatened with maybe a good time. Then the show started and I was like all the softcore dry humping can't execuse whatever the fuck is supposed to be happening onscreen. Then halfway? through the airing, they started airing the uncut version which had more high heat scenes and also made the story more coherent (not necessarily a better story mind you but at least somewhat more of a coherent one). What a trial that was. But I wanted to see Doctor Kok in something again and the show introduced me to my 2023 Mark Pakin Babygirl Award winner Rossi, so I won't be too mad at it.

Top New Characters

Boston (Only Friends) Boston was me in my early 20s. Boston was a lot of my friends in their 20s and some now in their 30s. Boston is an actualized gay af drama queen horndog icon legend he's the moment and if you don't get it, you don't get it. For all that Only Friends was poised to do, it fell flat on its face when the narrative wronged Boston. Neo acted his ass off following a strong performance in the Eclipse and this rocketed Neo up my radar for someone to watch. I have to excise ep 12 from my mind but Boston is easily my favorite new character of the year and would make my top 10 overall. Boston is my young galvanized gay praxis.

Nick (Only Friends) As I was a Boston in college, boy did I have a Nick and lord jesus did my BostonNick college relationship end POORLY. I have a Mark Pakin stan since he was Teh's hot roommate in IPYTM and seeing him get more and more promiment roles has been the biggest "we're so back" of the last year and a half for me. Only Friends also did Nick a little dirty in the final arc but not as bad as Boston but damn did it hurt having Nick walk away from Boston and out of the story like that. Regardless of how bad the end of OF was, almost everytime Nick was onscreen, it was instantly on the highlight reel.

Photjanee/Tinn's Mom (My School President) A parent in a BL having their own growth arc, unprecendented (don't fact check me too hard). Mrs Ma'am here went through a full ass soap opera arc about her gay child and did the vast vast majority of it on her own without adversely affecting her son. Just masterfully done and really healing and refreshing to have in the bl pantheon.

Gaipa (Moonlight Chicken) "Is it possible for me to be the right one for you?" girl, get the fuck out, that scene was so damn brutal and nearly every Gaipa scene was like the systematic destruction of this poor lil twink. Also the fact that Khao went from Ayan to Gaipa to Ray within a year and half. That's a fucking actor.

Boeing (Only Friends) He's sexy as hell. Don't think I've seen a character drip this much sex appeal hell maybe ever. Idk. This is a ranking based soley on Mond making me wanna hard and nasty [REDACTED].

Li Ming (Moonlight Chicken) An contextually sensible angry character. This little hothead had me rooting for him the whole way through. We were promised a healing love story and Li Ming and Heart and Li Ming and Jim and Li Ming and Jam delivered.

Night (Love Syndrome 3 Uncut) Rossi is my background babygirl of 2023 now that Mark is getting prominent roles. Night was a breath of fresh air in a sticky and dank and confusing experience.

Dan (Shadow) There are protagonists who refuse the call and then there's Dan who straight up was so fed up with the fuckery and mysticism and spoopy oogy boogey shit following and haunting him that he would have rather stayed in limbo than deal with more of that fuckshit and honestly BIG MOOD. Honestly, I would have loved him being aroace (and have that not be a trauma response or at least done well if it were) because his non-reaction to Nai's kiss and affection was hard to watch.

Dome/The One/Evil Gay Jesus (Midnight Museum) If I stumbled upon Gun in a boat and got to live exclusively with him alone, I also wouldn't wanna give that up.

Top Lines/Moments/Scenes

Delicious pure camp. Also the fact that relatively baby faced Earth is playing an almost 40 year old man. More camp. Then his sister, Li Ming's mom joins the cast and we're supposed to believe she and Earth "grew up together," heehawlarious.

Gonna bullet list the rest of this

Kiyoi: "sorry, I won't let you have a one sided love anymore" (Utsukare s2/eternal) [could have been number 1 favorite line]

Kiyoi's jealousy and possessiveness at and after the actor's party (Utsukare s2/eternal)

Anna's waterfall photoshoot (Utsukare s2/eternal)

Kiyoi's photoshoot (Utsukare s2/eternal)

Hira starting off s2 by admitting he lied about his end of s1 confession (Utsukare s2/eternal)

Koyama taking Kiyoi to task (Utsukare s2/eternal)

the bathtub scene (Utsukare s2/eternal)

BostonNick's like 4-5 episode fuck spree (Only Friends)

Nick: "you destroyed my happiness" (Only Friends)

Nick: "Boston was about to love me" (Only Friends) [could have been number 1 favorite line]

Boeing just being sexy and chaotic and at times menancing af (Only Friends)

Ray vs Boston at Sand's impromptu bday party (Only Friends)

Rock & Star performance (My School President)

Gun: "would you like to tell me what to do Mister President" (My School President)

LISTEN (ฟัง) (My School President)

TiwPor non school outfits (My School President)

Li Ming throwing the pad and demanding Heart write out the truth about who broke the alcohol bottle (Moonlight Chicken)

Heart taking his parents to task about them failing him (Moonlight Chicken)

Wen's love stares (Moonlight Chicken)

Nick being a true chaos gremlin and instigator (Love Syndrome 3)

all the raunch and high heat scenes (Love Syndrome 3)

the slow motion pool hall fight scene (Love Syndrome 3)

Night: "Let's let the past be the past" (Love Syndrome 3)

The wife being like "you're not gonna stop fucking this twink so I'm going to ask him to move in with us and we're gonna figure this out" (Me, My Husband, My Husband's Boyfriend)

[softlyapocalytpic]

Embodiment of love

@pchberrytea tagged me!! And then my partner had to help me take it because I couldn't figure out how to do it well??? Its fun and cool they just do uquiz better.

I tag @maxiseden since I think this would be fun for your blorbos and @plasma-packin-mama cuz I love Delilah & Arcade and would love to see what they get!! And! Copying Tea here, if you want an excuse to be tagged for this then CONGRATS. It's you. You've been tagged. You're it.

Also, I guess some spoilers for pairings for my characters...?

💕 RULES: Take this quiz for your OC/ship.

Without further ado:

Amy/Butch

[ love is beautiful because it's built deliberately ] when casey mcquinston wrote "that's the choice. i love him, with all that, because of all that, on purpose. i love him on purpose" and when jenny slate tweeted "i just want someone to grab my little face and scream on purpose, on purpose i am going to care about you" and when jodi picoult wrote "after fifteen years, love isn't just a feeling. it's a choice" and when the good place said "if soulmates do exist, they're not found they're made"

Man this one HURTS. It hurts in the long term, and it hurts in the short term. They communicate terribly, they understand each other better than most people understand them, they argue a lot and also are the bestest friend the other has ever had. I've said this for a while, but if things had panned out differently these two would've been best friends all the way back in the vault. And this invokes all that for me, but also. In context of where they end up by the end of the story... It hurts so so so bad. They never stop choosing each other even long long after.

They're always touching each other, holding each other, putting their hands on the other. A punch, a hug, holding each other's face. Hands holding, Butch arm around Amy's shoulder, Amy always ready and willing to hold Butch when he needs it. The world is shitty, but they're together.

Sunshine/Half Pint

[ devotion: love, loyalty, or enthusiasm for a person, activity, or cause ] when ruth said to naomi "where you go, i will go, and where you stay, i will stay. your people will be my people, and your God my God" and when hozier sang "i'll be the dreadful need from the devotee that drove [orpheus] underground" and when deathcab for cutie sang "if there's no one beside you when your soul embarks, i will follow you into the dark"

So if Butch/Amy hollowed me out, this one knocks me in the teeth and guts me. YES. YES. THIS IS THEM. These courier dorks will follow each other to the very ends of earth, to hell and back again, will be by each other's side till the very end and beyond. They die by each other's side. Literally. It doesn't matter what happens this two are soulmates eternally devoted to each other.

They are "I love you in this life and when I'm someone else entirely" and "I love you when you burn down the world", "I love you when you're a monster", "we're monsters together".

Leo/MacCready/Hancock

[ love as gentleness after a lifetime of cruelty ] when ocean vuong said "sometimes being offered tenderness feels like the very proof that you've been ruined" and when pablo neruda said "like a jar you housed the infinite tenderness and the infinite oblivion shattered you like a jar" and when anais mitchell wrote "all i've ever known is how to hold my own, and now i wanna hold you, too”

crying, actually crying

This is the boys. This is the boys all the way. They're all so fucked up and hurt and love each other so much, and yeah they're TENDER. When I think of Leo/Hancock it's such gentle touches and adoring looks and holding each other gently. It's softly spoken words. It's staring into each others eyes. Mac/Leo is sharing the weight of a trauma, it's defending the other to the other, it's giggles and warmth by the fire as they help the other unwind. Hancock/Mac is camaraderie. It's being debaucherous fools who wind up holding each other. It's having their arms wrapped around each other and laughing.

Hopefully there will be a pt.2 with more members of the quartet (Sunshine/Half Pint/Deacon/Danse) (ik ik ik trust me it WILL work even if I forget why sometimes) (we've gone to crackship hell and we WILL radicalize Danse). Maybe for Mae/Takeshi? Maybe for Mae and someone else? A lot maybes.

[insomtiny]

this is me sending you all the emojis (or all the ones you want to do) for the atz ask game

i guess u could also pick like 5 random ones and go for it lol

ok it's happening

💗- who is your bias in ateez? - seonghwa! 🤗 💖- who was your very first bias? - seonghwa lol, i was in between a few at the beginning but it ended up being him and it stuck ⭐️- why is your bias your bias? - i could go on and on about how gorgeous and talented he is, but to be serious the main reason is cause he's a huge dork 💝- how long have you been a ateez stan? - late 2019! so like a little over 3 years ✨- why did you become a ateez stan? - i watched their halloween performance of wonderland and was hooked, i couldn't stop rewatching it, eventually i went on to listen to all of their other songs and haven't escaped since lol 💭- what was your favorite era? - treasure epilogue/answer era cause not only is answer still an absolute masterpiece, it will always have a special place in my heart for being my first comeback <3, also horizon and precious are still sooo good, and their styling was so pretty 🎤- rapper line or vocal line? - vocal line! 👊🏽- hyung-line or maknae-line? - hyung line! 🤙🏽- ateez or memeteez? - memeteez cause why are they so fucking funny for 🎶- what’s your favorite title track ateez song? - thanxx! 🎵- favorite non-title track song? - literally impossible to choose just one but take me home is my homie rn 🗣- share an unpopular opinion about anything related to ateez - before i say anything just know i love jongho and i think he's one of the best if not THE best 4th gen vocalist out there, but for the love of GOD people need to stop hyping him when he strains, it's not good for his vocal chords and it really doesn't sound great, he sounds perfect in his regular range 💀- share your favorite meme - i have a LOT but here's some

🎥- favorite ateez mv? - probably eternal sunshine or wave i just think they're so fun and happy 🏆- share your favorite ateez moment - so hard to choose because they are NEVER boring to watch, but i think it was during fever road when a mysterious masked figure came in and blindfolded and kidnapped wooyoung and they all NO HESITATION went "7 makes 1 team" 😭😭😭 and then jongho was like "wait i wanna save him" and they were like "ok then 6 makes 1 team" 😭😭😭 👨‍❤️‍👨- who do you ship in ateez? - ship???

👬- favorite brotps? - woosan and yunhwa are my 2 fave duos they are so goofy ❌- any notps? - any of them x sadness or pain or unhappiness :( 👀- name one member who isn’t your bias but… - SAN. when i tell you i came out of that concert with a whole crush on him 😫- have you ever seen ateez live? - saw them january 2022! literally life changing... 🌚-if ateez was on a deserted island, who would be the first to go and why? - wooyoung, they'd probably end up murdering him, that's if he didn't get himself killed first 💫- if you could tell one member one thing, what would it be? - i would tell seonghwa that he's the specialest boy in the whole world and that i'm proud of him 📢- say one thing you’ve been wanting to say about ateez but haven’t - they're genuinely the only kpop group i've never gotten bored with, even my other super faves have had lulls but they always entertain me in one way or another, i'd say the only other other exception is dreamcatcher 🚫- a fandom “joke” you think is overused and disagree with - ngl a lot of them get overused but like if everyone's having fun i don't really care, the only one i can think of that i'm completely over is "i cannot english" cause it's tired and just kinda... not cool... especially since mingi's obviously worked really hard to improve his english since then ❓- did you watch kq fellaz content predebut? - nope 😂- favorite variety show ateez has done? - the boatta dance bingo video is one of my favorites, them hyping each other up and trying to remember the different choreographies, and then the penalty of taking turns carrying jongho around was all just so cute 🤷🏽‍♀️- Treasure or Pirate King? - pirate king! 🤷🏽‍♂️- Say My Name or Hala Hala? - hmm, hala hala! 🙋🏽‍♂️- Desire or Promise? - promise! 🙋🏽- Stay or Twilight? - ooh... let's go with stay! 🕺🏽- fave dance mv? - wonderland, them dancing so hard the lighting goes weird still kills me lmao 💃🏽- favorite choreography? - hala hala probably, i'll never not love how absolutely manic it is 👽- favorite mv concept? - if we're talking regular mvs i'd say deja vu, but really it's black cat nero, i'd rlly love if they brought that aesthetic to one of their comebacks ♋️- do you share a sign with anyone in ateez? - no those bitches don't even have any earth signs AT ALL 😭 👫- a quality you and your bias share? - liking stuff to be clean and not liking bitter things 🤝- are you the same age as anyone in ateez? - i was born in 2000 but me and wooyoung are closest in age technically cause we're only like a little over a month apart i think

if you read all of this here's a kiss 💋

[fairyfuyu]

glass in the park | hanagaki takemichi

summary: friends to lovers w loser michi, really sweet sappy shit that makes my heart go thump ....... also listen to glass in the park while reading this (or the enitre submarine ep by alex turner please i beg)

wc: 9k

cw: nsfw 18+, timeskip!takemichi, fem!reader, disgustingly sweet content that will literally give you cavities, 2 seconds of angst, use of pet name ‘baby,’ pussyjob, unprotected sex, praise kink if you squint, creampie, cockwarming but not really ? idk, vanilla sex thats really fuckin sweet and intimate im ;-; this is just really fucking sappy dont look at me

a/n: this is just another installment of my never ending saga into my consistent self indulgence and inability to write shit that i do not fantasize about on the daily. dont @ me. also, thank u @kazutoraloml and @tokyosghoul for betareading i want to make out intensely w u both (hye come join the dark side and become a michi fucker its fun over here i promise)

!!!!! mdni !!!!!

Takemichi didn’t know what the fuck he was doing with his life.

Here he was, 26 years old, working the same shitty job at the video store that he’s been working at since his college years, living a shitty life in a shitty apartment. Most days he walked through life on autopilot, not a care in the world for anyone, anything—not even himself. He’s completely lost any and all sense of what it meant to truly live, and for the longest time, he thought that this was really all he would ever accomplish. He had peaked in middle school and everything has just been downhill from there. Somehow, though, he managed to hold onto some shred of hope that there was more out there waiting for him. A better life to live. A better version of himself. Anything.

Takemichi was never really the relationship kinda guy. He had a girlfriend during his teen years, but that fizzled out as time went on and he never bothered to really try to get another girl. Too much work, he’d tell himself. Too much money wasted on dates. Too much anxiety about labels. Too much insecurity about his dick size—not that he had anything to hate himself over, but his girth alone had any girl he ever got with think twice when he managed to split them entirely open. He never wanted to hurt any of those girls, but he couldn’t help that he was gifted with such a fat cock.

Dick size aside, Takemichi just coasted through his life, making just enough money to get by and having plenty of down time to himself. Was it what he pictured when he was younger? Definitely not. Was he complaining? Maybe.

He stood in the partially empty video store, mind elsewhere as he searched the aisle glancing from the case in his hand then back up at the filled shelves. “Edward Scissorhands, The Evil Dead…” he mumbled to himself, pointer finger gliding along the various titles until he found the correct space for the movie in his hand. He let out a quiet click of his tongue once he found the correct place, wedging the copy of Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind in between copies of Escape from New York and Europa Report. At least he knew his alphabet, otherwise his work would be especially difficult.

Looking back down at the stack of DVDs on his cart that needed to be returned to their homes on the shelves, Takemichi glanced at the watch adorning his left wrist. Still an hour left until his shift ended. The little bell jingling at the entrance caught his attention; he whipped his head around to see you enter.

Shit, he whispered to himself, ducking his head back down, growing intensely shy at how attractive you were. A wave of self-consciousness washed over him as he pushed his cart to the back of the store, trying to avoid an awkward encounter with yet another pretty girl. It wasn’t everyday people like you came waltzing into the small video shop; the clientele mainly consisted of older people or young teens thinking it's cool to spend their days off perusing through dusty old shops like this, searching the shelves for any retro titles they’ve heard about.

He was the only employee on the floor right now, his manager was in her back office but in direct sight of him cowering behind a shelf. She called out to him.

“Hanagaki! Go help the customer; don’t act like you didn’t hear that damn bell ring.” She scolded, causing him to shudder.

He shut his eyes, trying not to focus on the lump that formed in his throat. Across the store, he saw you wandering around, mumbling incoherencies under your breath.

You trudged into the store, arms crossed and slightly irritated that your friend asked for such a thing in the first place. It was her birthday, so of course you felt guilty if you refused her request of having a movie night with a couple of your closest friends; you told her you would take the responsibility for finding the niche film she so desperately wanted to watch on this special occasion, but you didn’t expect your search to be so difficult. You started out with the chain stores, and when your hunt came up unsuccessful, you looked up a multitude of video shops in your area, even going to the lengths of calling them to see if they had your desired film in stock. Finally, an unsure voice confirmed that they did have a copy at the fourth store you contacted.

And so, this is how you ended up in the same store the ravenette worked at.

You glanced around, trying to look for someone to help you, but when you found no one, you just decided to take matters into your own hands and venture inwards, eyes scanning over the various titles.

Takemichi, still pushing his cart, came up behind you and nearly ran into you, his depth perception failing miserably due to his nerves. “Can I help you with anything, miss?”

His voice behind you startled you, causing you to jump a little. “Oh, you scared me there. I called earlier...about a movie called Paris, Texas?” You offered, readjusting the strap of your purse back over your shoulder.

Blue eyes widened at you; so you were the girl he talked to on the phone earlier. “Y-you must be ___ then?”

“That’s me!” You smiled at him, rocking onto the tips of your toes. “So...do you have it?”

Takemichi internally slapped himself in the face at not being smarter about this one; a normal employee would’ve pulled the title aside for a customer, but Takemichi is absolutely not a normal employee. He scratched the back of his head, turning on his heel and abandoning the cart, darting to the back of the store without saying a word. You cluelessly followed behind him.

“Uh…” he said, frantically scanning the shelves for the title. They’re in alphabetical order—why wasn’t he finding it?

Maybe he didn’t know his alphabet as well as he thought.

Dammit, he cursed in his head, she probably thinks you’re a dumbass now.

“Maybe I did pull it aside for you,” he thought aloud, heading towards the register to see if it was hidden beneath the countertop. He rummaged through the messy drawers, shifting papers aside with sweaty palms.

You continued your solo prowl, eyes immediately falling on the film in question. “Hey, I found it!” You called out to him, taking the case in your hands and meeting him back at the register.

His face now flushed at his shitty job he had done, a shaky hand took the DVD from you. “Sorry about that.”

“Oh it’s no problem.” You assured him, pulling out your wallet. “You seen it?”

He looked down at the movie. “I have, actually...for a class back in university. Wasn’t half bad.” He told you, ringing up your purchase.

You nodded your head. “Noted.”

The air between you stilled as he finished up at the register; you took the silent moment to study the man helping you. Dark hair, pretty blue eyes, awkward yet charming demeanor—dare you say you felt attracted to him somewhat. Your eyes travelled down to his nametag.

“Here you go, just bring it back by next Friday,” he said, catching your attention and holding a little brown bag with your DVD in it, as well as your receipt. “Hope you enjoy it.”

“Thanks, Takemichi.” You said, smiling warmly at him. “I hope I do too.”

He mirrored your smile, the blush coming back to his cheeks. Cute, you thought.

“Have a good one, ___.”

Takemichi hopelessly watched as you exited the shop, taking one quick look back at him before you disappeared amongst the busy sidewalk. He doesn’t know how long he stood there, staring at the glass door where he last saw you— - he was just brought out of his trance by his boss snapping her fingers in front of his face.

“Back to work, Hanagaki. Those DVDs aren’t gonna put themselves back on the shelves.”

That damn guy from the video store was right—you did end up enjoying the movie, much more than you expected. Your friend was beyond excited that you actually managed to find a copy of the film, showering you with kisses when you tossed the case down in front of her. Her birthday was a success, thanks to not only you, but the help of that guy from the video shop.

Takemichi, on the other hand, anxiously waited for you to make another appearance at the shop to return the movie. He came in early, clocked out late, and even found himself searching the shelves casually to see if you had come at a time when he wasn’t working to return the DVD; luckily for him, it was always missing from its place next to Paranormal Activity.

He tried not to get too one track minded, but his life was just so…lifeless, he couldn’t help but dwell on the little things. The way his coffee was particularly delicious this morning. The way the weather outside was so nice, he walked to work today.

The way your smile was the first thing he saw when his shift started today.

It was a Friday. A gorgeous Friday at that. You had a slow morning—your absolute favorite. Music played in the background of your tiny apartment, swaying your hips to the soft beat as you made yourself breakfast. A cup of hot tea steeped next to the stove, a couple candles lit nearby as well. You cracked the window open to let in some fresh air from the beautiful day awaiting you outside. It was truly splendid.

You eyed the DVD case sitting on the end table in your living room, reminding you that today was the last day you could return it.

Then, it hit you. The guy. Takemichi.

Maybe he’s working again today.

Turning the case over in your hands a couple times, you mulled over the decision of when you’d leave. Considering you didn’t work until later, you settled on leaving now, maybe picking up lunch while you were out.

You found your way to the subway, enjoying the beautiful day while you could before descending beneath the streets and clamoring onto a train full of strangers. A few minutes passed and you were in front of the video store, eyes staring at the drop-off box next to the front door.

He probably isn’t even here today, you thought, plus if there’s a drop-off out here, why even go in in the first place? Will it be obvious that you want to talk to him again if you go in?

Without another thought, your feet carried you between the double doors, hearing that same bell chime above you as you entered. Immediately, you saw his blue eyes over the tops of the shelves, flickering over towards the entrance and finding you there. You offered a smile at him, holding up a wave as a greeting.

She remembers me, he thought to himself, a light blush creeping across his face at the realization.

Before he could reach you, another man approached you, donning the same uniform as Takemichi. “Hi, how can I help you?”

You looked between the new person and Takemichi, seeing the latter direct his gaze at the floor shyly. Stepping away from the other employee, you politely declined his help. “Oh, I’m actually here to see Takemichi.” You briefly explained, pointing a thumb towards the boy at the back of the store.

The man’s eyebrows raised in surprise. There was no way a girl like you could be here to see Takemichi. Absolutely no way in hell.

You didn’t wait for a response from him as you strided down the aisle to the brunette, who still remained looking at the floor. He wasn’t even trying to look preoccupied with the DVDs he was in the middle of reorganizing.

“I hoped you were working today!” You told him truthfully, taking the movie out of your bag. “I came to return this.”

He instantly looked up at you; now you had his undivided attention. “You hoped I was working today?”

You shrugged in response. “I wanted to tell you how much I ended up liking the movie. It was much better than I was expecting.”

A toothy grin crossed his face. “I’m so glad you liked it!”

“Yeah, so...here you go.” You said, holding out the case to him.

He took it from your grasp hesitantly. “You know, there’s a drop-off box at the front of the store.”

You nodded back at him, sending him a knowing smile. “Yeah, I know.”

Tapping his fingers nervously against the case in his hands, Takemichi thought to himself about how to continue the conversation. He didn’t want you to leave just yet, and neither did you, quite honestly. “So...have any other fun plans for today?”

You suppressed the smile tugging at your lips from the boy continuing the conversation. “Not much. I have work later on which I’m not really looking forward to since I’m closing by myself.”

“Oh, where do you work?”

You told him the name of the cafe a little too quickly. “Its, uh, over on the east side, you probably haven’t ever—”

“Are you kidding? I love that place!”

He doesn’t love that place. In fact, he’s never been, nor even heard of the place ever in his life.

You beamed up at him. “Awesome! You should come sometime!”

He felt his palms go clammy at your question. You wanted him to come see you at work. No one’s ever said anything like that to him before, and it made his heart race more than he ever thought it would. “Y-yeah, for sure!”

The way he stumbled over his words, voice cracking ever so slightly with his simple reply had heat rising to your cheeks. You had no idea why or how the brief interactions you’ve had with him make you feel the way they do. Maybe its his kind eyes, or maybe its his genuine nature, how he doesn’t try to say impressive things or try and use a dumb pick up line on you like countless men have used on you in the past.

You quickly glanced down at your feet, then to the store’s exit. “Well, I’ll stop distracting you and let you get back to work. I hope to see you soon, Michi!” You hated how easily the nickname rolled off your tongue, instantly regretting your choice in words because shit, you barely know each other, why would you be calling an almost-stranger by a nickname?

Little did you know, your unwarranted use of the nickname had him weak at the knees. The only person he’s ever known to call him that was his mom, even still at 26. But the name that makes him cringe when spoken by his mother, had his stomach fluttering with butterflies when spoken by you.

“Soon you soon, ___. Promise.”

Hearing that he had remembered your name from a week ago, you smiled back at him over your shoulder, shooting him a small wave before you left the store.

As soon as you exited, he let out the breath he didn’t realize he had been holding the second you stepped foot in the shop. His coworker approached him, looking at the brunette and back at you through the window as you walked away.

“I didn’t know you had a girlfriend, Hanagaki.” He said, crossing his arms over his chest and letting out a quiet, and somewhat jealous, scoff.

Takemichi fumbled with the case in his hand as he walked away. “S-She’s not my girlfriend.”

The balding man just clicked his tongue, shaking his head as he left his coworker to finish reorganizing the shelves, turning instead to greet the customers that just entered the building. “Hi, how can I help you?”

The second the clock struck 8, Takemichi bolted out of the shop, running down the street to get to his apartment as quickly as he possibly could. The sun was beginning to set, the glorious day finally leaving but filling its place, a brisk nighttime with the slightest breeze.

Throwing his front door open, he entered his musty apartment and sighed at its messy state. When would he ever find the time to go through all his shit and actually clean for once? He stepped over dirty clothes strewn all over the place to make his way to his bedroom, deciding that it would probably be in his (and your) best interest to take a shower.

Apparently he spent a little too long daydreaming underneath the steaming showerhead, because by the time he hopped out and searched his apartment for clean clothes, it was already pitch black outside. A glance at the clock on his stove confirmed that it was, in fact, already past 9 o’clock.

Takemichi’s heart fell through his ass upon the realization.

He knew that the coffee shop you worked at closed at 10, but he had no earthly idea how long it would take to get all the way there by subway. It was all the way on the other side of town, it would at least take half an hour, but that's only if he was lucky. And then, who knows how far the closest station is to the cafe.

Regardless of the time, he still threw his shoes on, tossed a jacket over his shoulders, and found himself standing on the platform, staring into his reflection in the subway’s window.

Maybe it's actually open till 11, and you just got the time wrong, he thought to himself. But, what if you’re right, and you get there after it's closed. She’s not gonna let you in, she barely knows who you are, dumbass.

A full fledged debate ensued in his mind during the entirety of his trip, only growing his anxiety. He kept checking, and double checking the stops to make sure he was on the right train, worried that he would miss his stop or wind up in the completely wrong side of town somehow.

But thankfully, the universe was on his side tonight, and the subway came to a screeching halt a couple blocks from the cafe you worked at.

And the clock had just struck 10.

His feet carried him up the stairs out of the subway station, along the sidewalks and down the couple more blocks it would take to reach the cafe. Incredibly out of breath and hair probably a mess as it bounced with every stride, he saw the dimly lit storefront, the sole figure in the center standing out in his vision.

You appeared to be swaying your hips, presumably to a song playing over the loudspeakers, mind completely elsewhere as you sang along and wiped down the counters. Although you hated having to do all the closing responsibilities by yourself, you also loved the time it gave you to yourself, allowing you to put on whatever music you wished and dance your heart away as you made the cafe look all nice and clean for the patrons in the morning. If you had to do all this work alone, you at least had to make it fun.

You executed a particularly impressive twirl, waving your cleaning rag in your hand when you caught sight of a looming figure in front of the locked entrance. The little scare made you jump, dropping the rag to the floor, but your heart rate settled almost as quickly as it stopped once you recognized who it was.

Takemichi had actually come.

Sure he was a little late, but you know what they say: better late than never.

You bent down and scooped up the rag, jogging over to the front door and unlocking it to let in your new friend.

You can call him that...right? A friend?

Regardless, Takemichi smiled down at you as you opened the door. “Hi there, sorry I’m a little late.”

“You’re totally fine.” You waved him off, placing a hand on your hip. You noticed his slightly disheveled appearance and unsteady breathing. “Did you...did you run here?”

“Sort of…” He laughed, scratching at the back of his head. “I lost track of time and came here as fast as I could. The subway took a little longer than expected and then it was still a few more blocks to get all the way here.”

Your eyes widened at his explanation. “You took the underground to get here? How far away do you live?”

He waved you off. “Just a couple blocks.”

“How many is a couple?”

He looked around, bashful at the truth. “Oh, 3, 4...maybe 40 blocks away. On the west side. But it’s totally fine! I enjoyed the ride” He told you with a smile.

Your jaw fell to the floor. “Michi, you did not have to come all the way out here just to see me. I’m not that special.”

He just shrugged his shoulders. “I wanted to, though. You came out not once but twice to the video shop. It’s only fair that I came out here.”

Feeling a surge of confidence wash over you, your teeth slightly bit into your bottom lip. “Well, if we’re talking about fairness, you still owe me a visit.” Your teasing caught him off guard, but he played it off pretty well. “Here, you wanna come in for a minute? I can make you tea or something. Gotta make your journey out here worthwhile.

You stepped aside to allow him to enter, immediately shutting the door and locking it once again. Takemichi looked around at the foreign cafe, admiring the cozy decor and potted plants littered throughout the space. “This place is cute.”

Making your way behind the counter, you arched a brow at him, picking up the way he looked around, obviously never having visited. “Thought you’ve been here before.”

He eased himself into a stool at the bar. “Yeah, guess I got the wrong place.”

You found his unconvincing lie endearing. “Sure…” You teased him, filling up the pot and placing it on the hotplate to boil.

“How long have you worked here?” He asked, twiddling his thumbs atop the clean bartop.

You hummed in thought, grabbing a mug from beneath the counter. “Little over two years maybe? Didn’t really think I’d be here that long, but here I am, 4 years out of university and making my full time job what should be a part time job for some college kid.”

Takemichi laughed at your statement. “Please, at least you aren’t working at a video rental store. Like anyone rents DVDs anymore.”

“Hey, I did that one time!”

“You’re the first person that’s actually rented anything in months!”

The two of you found yourselves laughing at the situation a little too hard. Before you forgot, you made sure to ask him what kind of tea he wanted, to which he replied ‘whatever your favorite was.’

Green tea with honey it is.

Placing the tea bag into the mug, you scooted it over his way. He graciously accepted it, blowing the steam away. “Y’know, I got a degree in business. Seemed like a good option at the time, but I don’t think I’m cut out for the corporate world.”

You leaned against the bar onto your elbows. “What makes you say that?”

“Seems too…corrupt.” He said, staring into his cup. “Probably gonna be stuck at this same stupid job until I’m 6 feet under.”

“Hey, don’t be like that.” You replied, “You can always just find a new job! One that you actually like.”

“See, that would be easy if I knew what I liked. Do you like your job?”

You chewed on the inside of your mouth. “Yeah, it’s not hard and I like interacting with the customers. But I never really went to college, either, so my choices in terms of careers are kinda limited.” Takemichi took a sip of his tea, mumbling a quick this is really good before he took another, eyes still trained on you, silently urging you to continue. Before continuing, you let out a sigh, resting your elbows on the counter in front of you. “I danced my whole life, and I was decently good at it. Good enough to make it my job. But I got injured a couple years back which ended that dream real quick. So, here I am.”

“I mean, from what I saw earlier, it looks like you still got it.” He joked, referring to you dancing while cleaning before you noticed Takemichi outside.

Letting out a laugh, you carelessly wiped the counter down. “Yeah, I guess I still do, huh?”

“Better than I ever could, I’ll tell you that much.”

“Come on, you just move to the beat. It’s not that hard.” You assured him, coming out from behind the counter, reaching out for his arm. “I’ll show you.”

He allowed you to pull him towards an open area in the cafe, though reluctant. “I-I don’t know what I’m doing.”

“That’s okay, neither do I. Promise.”

Takemichi appreciated the evident lie you just told; it succeeded at making him slightly less insecure with his dancing skills, instead feeling a burst of gratitude at your gentle nature, actually wanting to interact with him.

The song playing on the loudspeaker ended, a new one immediately coming on. Recognizing it, he looked around. “Hey, I know this song!”

“Good, so it’ll be easy for you to dance then.” You said with a smile, dropping his hand out of your grip. You instantly started moving along to the beat of the music, encouraging your friend to follow your movements. “See? Not that bad, right?”

“I’m learning from the best.” He replied with a cheeky grin.

The two of you continued to dance to a multitude of songs, laughing and singing along to the ones you both knew until you were a mess of giggles. Even though you had just worked a full shift and it was nearing 11 already, being with Takemichi gave you a burst of energy. He was so fun to be around, and it felt like you had known each other for years from how easily you were able to talk with him.

Maybe you were best friends in another lifetime.

The current song coming to an end, you figured it was probably time for you both to call it a night. “As much as I would love to continue this, I do work again tomorrow and need to head home and get some sleep.”

Takemichi nodded understandingly. “Well, hey, I have off tomorrow so how about I come see you again, this time when you’re actually working.”

You smiled up at him in response. “I’d like that a lot.”

Since the tables had already been finished before Takemichi got here anyway, you just fled to the back room to grab your things, making sure to turn down all the lights and lock up once the two of you were outside.

“Did you drive here or-”

“Oh, my place is just a couple blocks away.” You told him, gesturing back down the street.

“Let me walk with you, then. It’s late.”

Your heart swelled at the kind gesture; while no guy you’ve been with in the past has offered to walk you home, Takemichi would be damned if he just walked away leaving you alone in the dark night all by yourself. He didn’t pretend that women have nothing to worry about when walking alone anywhere, unlike most guys his age.

The two of you walked down the dimly lit street, making casual conversation about how you both ended up here. You informed him you’ve lived here your whole life more or less, frequenting that same coffee shop you currently work at when you were younger. And he told you about how he came here for university and just stayed, never leaving his job at the video shop.

Before you knew it, you had reached your building, looking back at him and immediately pulling him into a warm hug. Having caught him off guard, it took a second for him to hug you back; he smiled at your head resting on his shoulder. “Thank you for walking with me.”

Falling out of the hug, he grabbed both your hands reassuringly. “Of course.”

You lingered for a moment before quickly leaning into him and pressing a chaste kiss to his left cheek. Grinning like an idiot, you turned around and opened the front door, shyly waving to him. “See you tomorrow, Michi.”

“Can’t wait.” He said breathlessly, face tingling at the innocent kiss you placed on his skin. He looked at the ground, feeling his face becoming unbearably hot all of a sudden, and smiled to himself before turning on his heel and heading towards the nearest metro.

Guys have really never impressed you. In your quarter of a century of life, the men in your life have always fallen short. Your dad was nowhere to be found growing up, your older brother ran away at 16, and any boyfriend just turned out to be an egotistical maniac that only cared about getting in your pants.

Honestly, you were getting to the point where you didn’t think you’d give guys a chance again. Dating always left you feeling disappointed in the end, plus, you were quite happy being on your own. You could go anywhere at any time, do anything and find joy through living rather than in other people.

When you were at your best, that’s when Takemichi showed up. He only added to your happiness.

Days talking with Michi turned into weeks, and now three months later, he’s become an integral part of your life. He would come visit your cafe on Saturdays (and maybe one other day a week if he was feeling extra kind), you visited him during his lunch break on Wednesdays before you went to work, and on Mondays the two of you spent the entire day together since you both conveniently had it off.

Actually, Takemichi normally had Saturdays and Tuesdays off, but instead of begging his manager for a raise, he begged her to trade schedules so he could spend the worst day of the week with the person he liked the most.

Those are just minor details he’d be too embarrassed for you to know.

Another minor detail is the label placed on your relationship; there wasn’t one. You two have shared the occasional kiss here and there, sure, but what really drew you to each other was just sharing quality time with one another. Even if you were doing nothing, you were still so happy to be around him.

It was a Friday. A cold, rainy Friday. You were closing by yourself again tonight, but that wasn’t what was bothering you at all. It was the fact that your manager, Rindou, was on your ass the entire day. He never shut his damn mouth, practically breathing down your neck watching the way you cleaned the espresso machine between orders - apparently incorrectly every single time.

You had no idea what his reason was for being such a dick today; sure, he was a bit on the temperamental side and overall, an annoying person to be around, but usually you could handle it. Today, though, it was bothering you worse than ever.

You were in the middle of making a round of lattes, measuring out the appropriate amount of espresso necessary before loading it into the machine, but for some reason the portafilter wasn’t locking in place properly. Taking it out and trying again, attempting to force it into position, Rindou came up behind you.

“It’s because you can’t take care of the machine the way it's supposed to.” He scolded, leaning against the counter beside you.

You scowled at him, trying again at the task. “No, it’s because this fucking thing is ancient. It's about time this place gets new equipment.” With one last push, it locked in place. You let out a sigh. “Finally.”

He scoffed at your success. “Stop blaming your shitty job on everything else. Ever since you got that boyfriend of yours, you’ve slacked off. Especially anytime he comes in; he just distracts the hell out of you.”

Boyfriend. The word rang in your ear incessantly, and you could feel your face heat up the second Rindou spoke it. If you weren’t as stressed out and irritated at Rindou’s remarks, you could’ve cracked the tiniest smile at the mere thought of boyfriend and Takemichi in the same context.

Rindou’s shrill voice brought you out of your head. “Where is lover boy anyways? He too busy to see you today?”

“Shut up, Rindou,” You took the two shots of espresso and quickly made the two lattes, still feeling the eyes of your boss burning into the side of your head.

He wasn’t satisfied with his damage just yet. “Seems like a shitty boyfriend to me if he can’t come visit his girl on his lunch break.”

“Would you stop saying that! He’s not my boyfriend, asshole.”

Turning around, you glanced down at the name on the cups; just as you were about to announce the names of the customers, your eyes fell on none other than Takemichi standing on the other side of the counter, hands timidly folded in front of him and completely soaked from head to toe. Clearly, he didn’t know it began to rain during his commute, nor was he at all prepared.

Your mouth hung agape at the sight of him. “Michi…”

He looked like he was about to say something, but couldn’t get any words out. Instead, he just turned on his heel and quickly fled the building. Your heart instantly dropped. Of course you just said that because of Rindou’s relentless comments about him, you didn’t mean it at all how it sounded. You wanted him to be your boyfriend, but the fact was you hadn’t had that conversation just yet.

But now, it seems you’ve fucked things up.

You immediately darted to the other side of the bar, but before you could get far, Rindou called out to you.

“If you leave right now, you’re fired.”

You stopped in your tracks for just a moment, looking back at his smirking face. It wasn’t even something you had to think about; you just rolled your eyes before taking off through the crowded shop, all eyes on you as you burst through the entrance out to the sidewalk, apparently just having lost your job.

You ran down the street, immediately seeing his drenched head of hair a couple blocks away. At this point, you could care less about the pouring rain around you. “Michi! Please, I need to talk to you.”

He didn’t stop walking, not even sending you a glance as he shouted back at you: “Why, so you can make sure I know I’m not your boyfriend?”

“You know that’s not what I wanna talk about.” You said, reaching out for his arm. He finally stopped, pressing his lips into a thin line and looking at you. Panting, your eyes searched his for any semblance of absolution, but you found none beneath his raindrop heavy eyelashes.

He just sighed as you grabbed his hand in yours, noticing how hot and clammy it was despite the cold rain. Poor Takemichi was so nervous right now, it's been ages since he found himself in the middle of a conversation like this.

“Before you say anything, I just want you to know that if I did anything to make you uncomfortable at all, I’m really sorry. I thought you liked me and everything…” You were about to speak up as he bit his lip, hesitating before allowing himself to speak his next thought. He spoke before you could. “I know you’re way out of my league and I didn’t even know why you would ever go for a guy like me. It was stupid for me to have even thought you liked me that way. It’s fucking stupid!” He laughed, pulling his hand away from you and running both hands through his soaked hair. Every word he spoke just made you feel worse and worse, shattering your heart one by one. “Here I was, living a shitty life, and then you showed up, and I actually believed I had a shot with you! How fucking pathetic is that! I used to dread waking up because of how shitty my life was, and now…” He took a breath, hands resting atop his head. “You’re the first thing I think about when I wake up every morning, and it makes me so damn happy.”

You took a step closer to him, grabbing his hands once more. “Michi, I-” The words got caught in your throat when you realized it. “I’ve never been good at relationships, Michi. Ever. I was never good at loving other people and trust and communication and all that shit but...I’ve never felt any way about another person the way I feel towards you. I think…” you swallowed thickly, “I think I love you, and that’s such a big scary thing for me to admit, but for some reason, it doesn’t feel as scary since it’s towards you.” The way your voice was shaking the slightest bit, so vulnerable, had Takemichi’s heartbeat extra strong. You didn’t even realize the small tears welling up in your eyes from how guilty you felt for what you had said back in the cafe. “I’m sorry for what I said, I promise you I didn’t mean it. It’s just, my boss is such an asshole and I was so stressed the whole day...and he kept pestering me with questions about you and saying how since seeing you, I’ve gotten worse at my job. I shouldn’t have said what I said because I didn’t mean it, truly. It just came out. I just get nervous whenever anyone else brings you up because I don’t know how to act, y’know?”

He knew you were dead serious with every word that you spoke, and the gaze the two of you held was enough to pull Takemichi closer to you. He brought a hand up to your chin, tilting your head up and connecting his lips to yours.

Despite the cold weather enveloping you two, the instant your lips collided, warmth surged throughout both your bodies. This kiss was unlike any you’ve shared before; they’ve always been innocent little pecks here and there, but never actually on the mouth like this. He kissed you with such passion, as if he’s been waiting for this his entire life. Maybe that was you projecting a little, since it was really you who has been waiting their entire life to have their ‘kiss me in the rain’ moment. And who better to share it with than the boy to whom you just professed you love?

Just as he slipped his tongue to explore your mouth with, he quickly pulled away. “Just in case it wasn’t obvious enough already, I think I’m in love with you too.”

You just shook your head and smiled, taking his hands once more. “Come home with me.” You said, pulling him in the direction of your apartment.

He easily allowed you to string him along. “Are you sure? What about your job?”

You waved a rogue hand. “Oh, Rindou said I was fired if I left to come after you so I took that as I have the rest of the day off.”

“Wait, what? He can’t do that.”

“Oh, I know. He’s just bluffing, the place is hurting for employees anyways. I’ll go in eventually and talk to him, but tonight? I’d much rather spend it with you.”

The two of you skipped down the sidewalk, chasing each other down the few short blocks to your apartment, laughing as you continued to get even more soaked from the pouring rain. This was the most free you’ve ever felt in your entire life, and you’d be damned if you didn’t chase after this feeling every second from here on out.

Finally reaching your apartment, you stumbled up the stairs and threw the front door open, kicking off your shoes (which were also now soaking wet).

Takemichi apprehensively waited in the open doorway. You noticed this, and immediately walked over to him and forced him inside, kicking the door shut behind him. He always did this any time he would come over; it wasn’t often, but the few times he’d join you for a late night conversation over tea, he always found himself questioning whether or not he was actually worthy enough to be in your home.

You quickly fled to your bathroom, grabbing two towels so you both could dry off some; as you emerged from behind the wall, towel already working into your hair, Takemichi gratefully took the towel you handed him.

“I meant it, y’know.” You said out of nowhere. “The whole, ‘I think I’m in love with you’ thing.”

He nodded, smiling to himself as he took a step closer to you. “I meant it too.” You bit back a smirk as his fingers found the bottom of your sopping sweatshirt. “Let’s get you out of these wet clothes, yeah? Don’t want you to catch a cold.”

His words caught you off guard, and quite honestly, they surprised Takemichi as well. He had no idea where this burst of confidence came from. But you weren’t complaining at all; you gladly held your arms up in the air with a grin, allowing him to lift the material up and over your head. He dropped it to the side, slumping onto the hardwood floor beneath your feet. Standing there in just your bra, you let your own hands travel to his sweater, tugging on it, silently asking for his permission. He wordlessly gave you the green light, nodding down at you.

He kept his eyes trained on the way the lace on your bra clung to the supple flesh of your breasts; you noticed, and gently slid a strap off your shoulder. “This okay?”

Takemichi stopped breathing. It wasn’t like this was the first time he’s seen a naked girl before, it's just...you do things to him.

He nodded once more, tongue darting out to wet his lips as you let the material fall to the ground, revealing your hard nipples from being so cold and wet. All the blood rushed straight to his cock at the sight of you before him; you took notice of how a pretty blush crept across his chest before you, smiling at your effect on him.

Seconds later and the two of you had successfully gotten rid of your bottoms in a frantic manner, leaving you both standing there in your underwear. Neither of you dared to allow your eyes to drift to the small areas that were still covered. Instead, Takemichi was actually the one to make the first move, surrendering any and all thoughts to exit his crowded mind. Head now completely empty, aside from the one thing he could never stop thinking about: you.

His right hand trailed along the side of your body, gentle fingers barely grazing over your curves, brushing against the side of your breast, running along your collarbone up to cup your cheek. “You are so beautiful.” He said, swiping his thumb along your bottom lip.

You parted your lips at his gesture, welcoming his thumb into your mouth and sucking on it, making sure to maintain eye contact with the dark headed boy. He let out the quietest whimper at your action, feeling his cock becoming impossibly harder by the second.

And his lips were on yours once more, hungrily working against yours for dominance, though you were letting him win. You wanted him to break out of his bashful tendencies and instead, allow himself to savor his feelings and emotions. You wanted to give him what he really wanted, what he had been dreaming about for who knows how many nights straight and what you have been craving at the latest hours of the night for longer than you’d care to admit. The two of you wanted nothing more than to lose yourselves in each other’s beings, melding into one.

And that was exactly what was going to happen.

He lifted you off the ground, allowing you to wrap your legs around his waist as he carried you to your bedroom. Having reached your mattress, he sat down on the end of your bed, keeping his hands on your ass and your legs wrapped around him.

You gave him a quick kiss, grinding your pussy down against his hard dick. “Aw, baby, you’re already so hard. How did that happen?”

“It’s your fuckin’ fault.” He mumbled against your lips, kneading the flesh of your ass with his large hands.

Leaning back, you looked into his eyes and smiled coyly. “Oh, is it now?”

“Mhm.” His droopy eyes completely shut as your two hands rest on either side of his face. You studied him, so pretty in the dark bedroom, damp curls atop his head and toned chest just inches away from yours.

You swung yourself off of him, standing up straight and pushing your hair out of your face. He looked at you standing before him as you hooked a finger around your bottoms, sliding the skimpy fabric down your legs and kicking them to the side. He continued looking into your eyes as you did so, but the minute your eyes drifted to his crotch, he allowed himself to gaze down at your naked form.

Capturing a lip between your teeth, you took back your position in Takemichi’s lap, placing your hands on his shoulders to steady yourself as you dragged your dripping core against his stiff bulge. A shaky breath tumbled past his lips at the contact. “Fuck, ___. Please…”

You rose your hips off him for a fleeting moment while he shoved his briefs down the fat of his thighs just enough to let his aching cock out of its confines. He repositioned himself to lean back against your headboard, giving you the chance to get a good look at his member. Laying against his lower abdomen, his cock stared right back at you, bright pink and thicker than any you’ve ever had before. It had you practically drooling at the sight. You rest your hands back on his shoulders, grinding your slick folds against his dick, coating it in your arousal. He groaned, hands flying to your hips and drawing you back and forth against his cock.

As much as you loved humping him like this, you needed him inside you now; you slowly rocked into him once more, paying close attention to his cockhead and how it just barely dipped into your soaked hole. You gazed up at him with lust-filled eyes, pressing your lips against his.

You held the kiss, tongues continuing to move against one another eagerly as you lifted slightly up and positioned his tip exactly where it needed to be, before sinking down onto him. Feeling him split you right open, you squeezed your eyes shut at the slight discomfort that shot through your nerves with every inch you took. “Michiiii, you’re so big-” You whimpered, resting your forehead against his.

He dug his fingernails into your hips at how tight you were around him. “Shit, ___.”

You continued to ease yourself down onto his length, both of you mutually sighing once you took all of him, feeling the curve of your ass rest flush against his pelvis. Takemichi continued rubbing circles into your flesh as you adjusted to him, already panting and you haven’t even moved yet. “Just...give me two seconds…”

He just nodded, waiting patiently as you placed your hands on his chest, steadying yourself while rising up along his shaft and sinking back down on it. He couldn’t tear his eyes away from the place where you connected. The lone fact that he was inside you was enough to make him cum; it truly was a miracle he didn’t cum on the spot the instant he entered you. Above him, you knitted your eyebrows together as you continued to slowly bounce on his cock, getting drunk on how well he filled you up.

“Fuck, ___, you feel so good around me,” He said, leaning away from the headboard and licking over your right nipple before sucking on it. His free hand found your other breast, groping it as he continued to kiss over your tender skin. He looked up at you, lips secured around your nipple, and your hazy eyes connected with his.

You smiled down at him, running a hand through his curls as you continued to rock your hips against his. The sensation of his wet kisses all over your chest drove you wild, serving as motivation to pick up your pace.

Once he was satisfied with the little lovebites he littered all over your chest, he laid back and pushed your hair out of your face. “So pretty...my pretty girl.”

“All yours, Michi,” You whimpered, feeling your thighs begin to burn.

Takemichi must’ve noticed your shift in stamina, because the next time you rose up along his cock, his hands found a home under your ass, holding you so he was able to thrust up into you. He couldn’t help himself; as much as he adored watching you fuck him, he couldn’t resist pounding his fat cock into your little pussy.

“Oh my fuck, Michi! Keep going…’M so close-” You moaned, falling against his chest and burying your face into the crook of his neck.

The next thing you knew, you were on your back with Takemichi above you, arms caging you underneath him and forehead pressed against yours. He kept rutting his dick into you mercilessly, the lewd sounds of skin slapping skin filling your tiny room. God, you were so wet, Takemichi couldn’t even believe it. Your pussy was heaven to him - he never wanted to leave this moment, but he could feel himself teetering dangerously close to the brink of his orgasm.

Taking your hands in his, he laced his fingers between yours and held them by the side of your face. “Fuck, I love you, ___.” He groaned, capturing your lips in another rushed kiss.

You cracked your eyes open, staring up into his, falling more and more in love with him as each second passed. “I love you baby. S-so much.” You panted, chest heaving with every thrust he gave you. “I’m…’m gonna cum,”

“Me too...where do you—fuck—where do you want me to cum?”

Clenching hard around his cock, you released a deep moan, feeling him in your stomach. “In me, cum inside me, please Michi.”

Takemichi didn’t need to be told twice. He pecked your lips sweetly. “Cum with me, love.” And so, you did, walls fluttering around his dick as his balls tightened, shooting his load deep into you. His hips stuttered as he continued filling you up with thick, hot ropes of cum.

He stilled himself, keeping his cock wedged between your folds as the two of you gasped for air, recovering from your powerful orgasms. You looked at one another with tired eyes, softly smiling before sharing an innocent kiss. He rested his head against yours once more. “I love you, ___.”

“I love you more, Michi.”

The next morning, you woke up to the gentle pitter patter of rain outside your bedroom, soft light streaming in through your curtains and two arms wrapped around your waist. You blinked your eyes open, adjusting to the light and waking up some more. Takemichi was out cold behind you, mouth hung open with quiet snores falling past his lips. You shifted a little in his grip so you were facing him, tossing one leg over his and snuggling into him further. “Wake up, Michi.” You whispered, kissing his nose.

His eyelids fluttered in response, mouth closing and inhaling deeply. “ ‘M awake.” He mumbled, eyes still shut.

“Come on, I’ll make you breakfast.” You said, moving to roll yourself out of bed.

But Takemichi moved quicker than you, pulling you in tighter to his chest and pressing a kiss to the top of your head. “Just five more minutes. You’re so warm.”

You hummed in reply. “Fine, five more minutes.”

“Did you sleep well, love?”

“Amazingly well. How about you?”

“Like a damn baby.” He replied with a light chuckle. “‘M kinda glad you got fired so you can stay here with me all day.”

You laughed at his statement. “We’re gonna have to get up eventually; besides, you have work tomorrow.”

He was silent for a moment. “I quit my job yesterday. That’s why I showed up at your work unannounced—I was gonna tell you there, but then, y’know...”

Your head shot up to look at him. “You quit your job?”

“Mhm, it felt right.” He said, pausing for a brief second. “Gotta find a job that makes me happy.”

You couldn’t help but smile. “Looks like we’re both gonna have to look for new jobs then, huh?”

“Guess so.” He breathed, opening his eyes and gazing right down into your. “I have a feeling we’re both gonna be fine.”

You felt the exact same way. Right then, everything seemed to be just as it should be. It was gonna be you and Takemichi taking on the world from here on out. And that made you happier than you could ever imagine.

© 2021 honeyspalette. do no repost my copy, modify, or repost my work <3

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[danses-with-dogmeat]

Romanced companions (fo4) react to a distressed female soul telling them she found out she's turning into a ghoul (she's known it for a while but she's been too afraid to tell them, worrying about how they'd react)

Romanced! FO4 Companions React to F!Sole Turning into a Ghoul

Thank you so much for the ask anon! (and for your patience, I know you sent this one in forever ago 😅)

I always kind of wondered how the companions would react to this if it was a function of the game 🤔 So I'm glad I got to explore it a bit! I hope you enjoy!

Cait:

No. Not her. Not her Sole. Cait thought, unable to grasp the news Sole had just revealed to her. Her partner was too strong, she was too careful. She was from before the bombs, before the radiation! How could this have happened?

In her mind, it would have made a lot more sense for Cait to turn into a ghoul long before Sole. Her arse actually deserved the pain of watching her physical self peel away day by day, but not Sole. Her companion, her partner, the one damn person she actually loved... No, Sole was too good for this. But the two of them, they could beat it, they could reverse it somehow. One of those vaults could hold the answer, like it did for her, even after she had thought it was too late.

Cait didn't want to stop the change because she had anything against ghouls, really, because she doesn't. But she couldn't stand the sight of her luv's face when, at the light brush of her fingers through her once silky locks, she felt them fall to the ground in webbed clumps, Cait couldn't stand the pain in Sole's expression as her skin began to shrivel and peel off, she couldn’t witness one more instance of Sole glancing in a mirror with such immense sadness in her eyes. And Cait became very troubled when she realized that Sole would be here long after she was dead. Cait couldn't stand to face reality without her partner after all that she's done for her, and now Sole was staring that reality in the face. The poor lass had already outlived everyone she's known and loved once, and now she had to do it all over again, who knows how many times? It just wasn't fuckin' fair.

Well, once Cait had accepted Sole's change as permanent, she would do everything in her power to ensure the pair made the most of their years together, giving absolutely no fucks about Sole's new appearance. And should anyone else decide to look at her the wrong way, or, God forbid, say something to her about it, Cait's fist would be unholstered and swinging before the offensive words could even leave their worthless lips.

Curie:

She would feel sorry for Sole, and constantly be there for her as a source of support. When her love had told her what was happening, Curie had been shocked. Sure, she had noticed a few changes in her partner’s body, but she had hoped it wouldn’t be anything too serious. Still, this wasn't the worst that could happen, Curie would know, after all of the diseases and viruses she had worked with in the vault. Yet... the synth still found her chest throbbing at the thought of watching her love deteriorate before her eyes.

Throughout Sole’s change, Curie would do what she could to lessen the symptoms. There was no “cure” for being a ghoul, but Curie would feel awful if she didn’t at least try.

As Sole’s condition became more and more obvious, she would do everything in her power to make sure her partner knew that she still loved her. Curie had been a reprogrammed Miss Nanny when Sole had found her, she'd been nothing more than a metal machine when Sole had selflessly saved her, and yet, she had found a way to love her for who she was, despite what she was, and she had been there every step of the way as she made the change to her synth body. Curie would be happy to return the favor tenfold.

Also, throughout the process of Sole's change, if anyone was rude to her love, about anything, Curie would be at them with harsh words and a firm teacher’s voice as she gave the ill-mannered stranger a quick ghouls-101 education session.

Danse (Post BB):

Oh… Oh God. Not this. Not her, not his beautiful Sole. The ex-paladin’s stomach would drop as she quietly forced out her confession, refusing to meet his wide, despairing gaze.

He didn’t know what to do. Danse was horrified. Not for the first time in his life, he felt like his world was crashing down all around him. Everything good in his life seemed to revolve around the person in front of him, but all of his love, his devotion, all of the effort he put into protecting this one person he had left, that he valued above all else in his life, it was all in vain. Because now… she was turning into something that he had always feared. Something that he had been taught and trained to despise, to think of as vermin that needed to be extinguished. It was the way he felt about himself when he found out what he truly was. He never wanted to feel that way towards her, never thought he would have been able to, and even now… he found that he couldn’t.

It didn’t matter what she was turning into, what she’d become, she was still Sole. And he was committed to her, he was loyal to her. Godammit, he loved her for Christ's sake. He wasn’t about to let this calamitous development change any of that. She certainly hadn’t when it had been him in her place.

Danse would still often have trouble with his internalized prejudices left over from his time with the Brotherhood, but he would try his heart out for her. Every passing day brought more changes to the woman he loved, each one serving as a reminder to what the end result would be, and witnessing it would break his heart into pieces.

It was strange though, it wasn’t as devastating as he had thought it would be, in the beginning. Sole was still herself, even underneath all of the physical changes, she was still here beside him, and in the end, that’s all Danse really needed.

Deacon:

For once, Deacon remained silent. His brows furrowed low beneath his sunglasses and his hand came up to rub at his mouth, as though he were trying to physically pull out a response. He cleared his throat, and his hand went up to remove his glasses so he could look Sole in the eye. A rare sight, one that made her pulse quicken further as the apprehension of her confession really set in.

Deacon had already known, or… suspected, rather, but he hadn’t wanted to believe it. It wouldn’t be the first time the Railroad agent's experienced this kind of dread. When he had found out his wife was a synth, he had felt this same crippling pressure in his chest. But he didn’t say that, Sole didn’t need to hear about his problems, no, not again. Now she needed him to help with hers.

So, the spy would nod at her, and ask her what she needed from him. He's a knowledgeable guy, everyone knows that, Sole most of all, so if she needed anything as far as information on what she was about to go through, he would be able to provide it. Better yet, he could bring her to quite a few folks he knew who had gone through the same sorta hell themselves.

Beyond that, not much else would change. Deacon isn't one to put much stock in a person's physicality, what kinda daft and inconsiderate hypocrite would he be if he did? Hell, he may even speak to a surgeon about altering his appearance to become more ghoul-like if that was something Sole cared about. But honestly? He just would want his partner to know that it didn't matter to him.

"Thought you could get rid of lil old me just by going ghoul? Heh, sorry, cuddle muffin, but it looks like you're still stuck with me."

Sole had been able to forgive him for everything he's done, she hadn't judged or ridiculed him for being a bigoted assface for the first half of his life, and she'd accepted him for the compulsive liar and emotion-dodging, sarcastic smart-ass that he was now; sooooooo, yeah. This whole ghoul thing? Not a problem. Just another glorious and compelling chapter in this wacky book called life.

Hancock:

Hancock becomes the literal epitome of empathy. He knows what this shit's like, he's gone through the motions. He remembers the nightmarish sight of his flesh falling from his body in shriveled tatters, he recalls his once silken voice dissolving to his current raspy timbre, he knows what it's like to see the bright vibrance of his irises vanish over the course of a couple weeks, slowly dissolving to the blackness that he now saw the world through.

But with Hancock, it had been his choice. Okay, so he didn't know for certain that he'd become a ghoul, but he had been ready for it, had known it was at least a possibility. With Sole though, she didn't sign up for this shit. She didn't deserve to go through the same kinda hell he did. He wanted to go through hell, felt like he deserved it. But his gorgeous sunshine? The light of his life, the kindest, most selfless person he'd ever met? Nah. She didn't deserve to watch herself develop the likeness of a certain sorta dehydrated fruit.

Hancock would be sure to tell her every day just how incredible she was, how brave, and strong, and how she was still beautiful beyond belief, no matter what. He would show her how he felt. Showering her in gifts and affection, taking her out to prove to her that he could never even think to be embarrassed by her in any capacity whatsoever. He loved this woman, he cherished her. Every irradiated bit of her.

And now… now the best part. Hancock would try not to seem too overexcited, knowing that this whole process was traumatic and painful for his love, but now he could spend the rest of their lives making her see just how much one person-- one ghoul-- could love another. He'd been terrified out of his mind when he thought he would outlive Sole, by who knows how long. But now… now they had an eternity to spend together, or, however long it is ghouls live for. Whatever, no matter how much time they had, Hancock would never be convinced it would be enough. He just supposes the rest of their long lives will simply have to do.

MacCready:

He'd try not to give away his heartbreak as he gazed back at her, his face draining of all it's color as those fateful words escaped her with a sob. This was a nightmare of MacCready's. He hadn't ever told Sole what he saw that night he had woken up screaming, he had told her he couldn't remember the dream, and she had said "maybe that was for the best." If only he'd been telling the truth. In reality, what he saw was the immensely frightening sight of Sole taking his late wife's place in that horrific memory that was forever burned into his brain. Her body engulfed by a throng of writhing ferals as she shrieked out his name. As with all of his dreams like this, MacCready was rooted to the place he stood, forever imprisoned as a bystander to the brutality taking place before him. The agony only ceased when the pack of feral ghouls dispersed, revealing Sole, now as one of them. She had raced towards him, hunger and madness glinting in the opaque depths of her dark, iris-less eyes. The mercenary couldn't get the image out of his head as he watched the color in Sole's eyes fade away over time, her skin losing its divine smoothness, her soft hair drifting to the ground in wisps of somber defeat.

The couple had cried a lot in those weeks of her change. The process was heart wrenching for the both of them to witness; but MacCready stuck by her side. He could be stronger than his nightmares, than his fears, when it came to Sole.

When the day finally did come when she was referred to as a ghoul by a perfect stranger, MacCready had almost been surprised. It had taken time for her to look this way, to sound this way, and he had hardly noticed the extent to which his partner changed until looking at old renderings and pictures of her from before the bombs. This was just who she was now.

She wasn't a monster, a ravenous zombie that he feared and despised. She was Sole. She still acted like his love, her voice still resembled that of his partner's, her eyes had lightened to a blue that outshone his own, which he was clearly not bitter about, and she still was just utterly his Sole. The same woman he had fallen for in the first place, the one he thought he'd never be lucky enough to be loved by in return. But now, even behind all the changes, he could still see her there, and he could certainly still love her.

The nightmares became much less common after her transformation, oddly enough. And when he finally introduced Sole to Duncan, he was terribly worried that the boy would hate her, that he would remember that traumatic night when the pair had lost a mother and a wife, and that he would be afraid of her. But his son hardly seemed to notice Sole's condition, as he shook her hand and introduced himself with enthusiastic giddiness. Later, Duncan might voice some questions to her about being a ghoul, but they were always out of genuine curiosity.

MacCready couldn't have been more proud of his child than he was then, or more touched than when Duncan expressed his relief at Sole having a skin condition like this, and yet, she was still able to be loved by someone as great as his dad. The boy himself remembered the way people would look at him before he had been cured of his blue boils, and he didn't wish that on anybody, he'd assured both Sole and MacCready of that one day.

No, MacCready couldn't have been more proud. Of his son, sometimes even of himself as he learned to outgrow his fears, how to muscle through his trauma and be the best father and partner he could possibly be; and certainly, he couldn't have been prouder of Sole.

Nick:

Nick would be remarkably sympathetic, taking Sole's hand in his good one comfortingly as she struggled to get out the confession, and having not even a glimpse of a negative reaction in response to her heart-wrenching words.

“Oh, doll… I’m so sorry.” His fingers would stroke over her hand in an effort to comfort her. He had been surprised by the news, but it wouldn’t change anything. He’d assure her of that. No matter what physical changes Sole underwent; the memories of a certain synth, all metal, and fiberglass, and plastic, and the damn near perfect woman who somehow fell for him would fill his mind, and he wouldn’t be able to keep from telling her just how much she meant to him every single day.

Life would go on, they would go out on cases together, and help the people of the commonwealth as they have nearly since the day they met, but if anyone decided to utter a comment as to Sole’s physical state, they would certainly be faced with a stern talking to from one sassy synth.

He tried to not mention it too early on, but Nick wouldn't be unable to keep the thought buried forever. One day, when Sole was feeling especially despondent about her current state, he’d remind her that he’d always be there for her. Always. Now he didn’t have to worry so much about that dreadful and inevitable fast-approaching day that he would have to bid Sole goodbye as she passed away from her old age, leaving him alone on this ruined earth. He’d just have to hope that she would be as comforted by the thought as he was.

Piper:

The news would be hard to grasp at first, and even after she understood what Sole was telling her, she wouldn't know what to do. How can you fix something like this? This was her Blue they were talking about! She could do anything, she'd survived the bombs, had found the Institute, she had found her son after so many years, had done all of that, just to now have to go through this too? Hasn't Sole been through enough?!

Piper would be angry, and she'd feel horrible watching Sole go through the changes, as she was forced to witness her love's physical form deteriorate before her in just a couple short months. Piper would try to tell Sole to keep her chin up, remind her who she was, of everything she's been through, how much she's overcome; and if anyone wanted to bug her partner about being a ghoul, Piper would tear them to shreds with her words, not caring if she made a scene as she made the stranger realize what horrible mistake they had made speaking to Sole like that. She'd rip ‘em a new one for sure, and spend a good portion of the day making sure her love was alright after the ordeal. The reporter knew how much words could hurt.

She would be utterly supportive, and even, if Sole was comfortable with it, might see if she’s interested in being a sort of poster child for a campaign to allow ghouls back into Diamond City (and God help anyone who tries to keep Sole out of the city before Piper has a chance to change the law officially.)

Preston:

Preston tried to swallow through the lump in his throat, but to no avail. The Minuteman didn’t cry often, or, he hadn’t since meeting Sole. But this… He couldn’t stop the tears from spilling as he drew her into his embrace. His voice surely would have failed him if he had tried to comfort her with his words, so his arms wrapped tightly around her, her head pressed firmly to his chest. That would have to do for the time being.

“Sole, I can’t tell you how sorry I am.” He managed to whisper to her as his hand came up to stroke gently at her soft hair, trying desperately not to imagine the way it would fall from her head soon enough. He took a deep breath.

“But… I want you to know something. Something really important.” Preston pulled away so he could look into her eyes, hands coming to rest on either of her tear-stained cheeks “This won’t change anything between us. No matter what, you’re still my General, and… and I love you so much. What’s happening to you won’t ever change the way I feel about you.” They’d both be sniveling messes through the night.

But each morning that passed in the coming days, each change Sole underwent, they would take as it came. Preston is a bit of a workaholic, he knows this, and so does Sole, but he’d take a day off if ever her symptoms became unbearable enough. The Minutemen were stronger now than they had been in years, because of her, and so he would try not to feel so guilty about stepping away from his duties to help her.

But he would keep his promise, and, through everything, Sole would remain the General of the Minutemen, with everyone still paying her the respect that the title was due. She would remain the love of his life, he would tell her every day the way that he admired her, tell her how gorgeous he found her, no matter how much her physicality changed, he would remind her of her boundless strength. He just hoped it’d be enough to make her happy, to save her back, in the way she had saved him.

X6-88:

When Sole hesitantly told him about what was happening to her, it had only been after he asked. It was clear to the synth that something was wrong with his partner, but waiting for her to explain on her own had him only becoming more impatient. When she did tell him, he was furious. Certainly not at her, and not necessarily at the Institute’s inability to prevent it from happening, but at the Commonwealth, at the world for doing this to the one he loved. X6 couldn't stand the thought of it, the pain she had to go through. A part of him blamed himself for it. He was meant to protect her, from anything that could possibly harm her, and he had failed. Her changing appearance would be a testament to that failure every day of his life.

In an effort to make it up to her, X6 offered everything he possibly could to his partner, walking her though each and every symptom that came with her change, and ensuring she was utilizing every resource the Institute had at its disposal. Treatments, and skin creams, and supplements, and enough radaway to douse the glowing sea were used in an effort to slow the process of ghoulification, or perhaps even to halt it.

When it inevitably didn’t work, X6 would feel useless, like he had failed in his mission to keep his beloved safe all over again. However, something strange happened to the courser when the one he loves began to physically fall apart in response to the radiation. He didn’t want to leave her. He could stand to look at her, to still love her in the way that he never thought he would be able to, even when she was human. Despite what she had become, she was still his Sole.

After he came to this realization, X6 would take it as a personal mission for himself to ensure that anyone who made Sole feel bad for the way she looked or the way she now spoke would pay dearly for the carelessness of their commentary. X6 would work endlessly to guard his love from insults and dangers alike, from outsiders as well as those within the Institute. That was what he could do for her, what he had to do, if he ever wanted to make it up to Sole. The way he had carelessly let this happen to her... He would never forgive himself, and wonder every day how Sole could, but he will make it up to her. Mark his words.

[ekaterinatepes]

Nothing but the Best

Author’s note: it’s getting interesting here ;) enter prince charming Sugu-kun to save the day.

IX.

https://youtu.be/uhoiqVPmURE

Satoru was afraid of making a move, least he tipped you over the edge and made you bolt; he didn’t want that. Swallowing hard he looked into your eyes… God… he had missed your beautiful E/C eyes so much. Waking up every morning without you by his side, without you kissing him awake cause he was going to be late for work… again. Your absence had left a literal infinite void in his heart that he was unable to fill.

“I know I don’t deserve anything from you Y/N, but I love you and I cannot give up on us… We said forever when we got married. And I want that… with you” speaking from the heart was not something Satoru ever did. He always preferred to cover any emotions with inappropriate jokes and double entendres. But he knew he couldn’t play his stupid games, not with you and most certainly not now.

You pulled away in that moment, as if his touch was burning you. He allowed it, doing his utmost effort not to pull you back in. His hands itched resting at his sides, missing the warmth of your body.

|||

It was you and me, it seemed to last forever

The way you taste and I still remember… the sounds we made.

|||

“It would have been nice if you felt that way before you decided to ruin this marriage. Where were those promises of forever when you fucked someone else?” You asked piercing his eyes with yours. He cowered under your glare. Satoru had never been on the receiving end of your wrath and now he understood why most people chose (wisely) to not mess with you. Every single one of your words was chosen carefully to cause the most damage. At the same time… what hurt the most was that you were right.

“Leave and don’t ever come back… you and I… are through…” Satoru noticed how you avoided calling him by his name, he hated it. As if uttering his name would leave a bad taste in your mouth “Y/N…” he whispered pleadingly when you took another step away. But this time he didn’t have the courage to stop you as you disappeared inside your apartment and locked the door behind you.

|||

I bet you wish you had me back! Another chance to gain it, just like that. The best you ever had.

|||

Satoru was fucked.

—————

The next morning Suguru’s plane landed. JFK international airport was as busy and chaotic as one would expect. After collecting his luggage he made his way to a cab giving the driver your current address.

He hadn’t been able to sleep a wink during the trip, his mind swarmed with all the possibilities of what could be happening right now. Satoru didn’t play fair and of course… you loved (probably still love) the lucky bastard.

With a sigh he decided to focus instead on the city going by through the cab’s windows. It wasn’t the first time he was in New York and his mind was much more occupied torturing him instead of appreciating the landscape.

After 40 minutes, Geto stood before a very nice and modern building located in the upper east side called Hawthorn Park. You sure knew how to live in luxury. He approached the doorman and let him know his name and that he was here to see Miss Ekaterina Petrova to which the kind looking old man responded by using his intercom to contact you. Geto was soon granted access and guided to the elevator.

The elevator doors opened on the 21st floor, he walked to the door of your apartment which was already open and you were waiting for him. His smile fell once he noticed you have been crying “oh Kitten” dropping his luggage on the spot he surrounded your body in his arms “I’m so sorry…” one didn’t need to be a genius to know Satoru had found you.

You both moved inside your apartment. Settling on the spacious couch you buried your face on Suguru’s lap as you cried. He stroked your now darker strands of h/c hair without a word exchanged. He knew you needed to let it all out. After what seemed an eternity you sat back up. Suguru gently dried your eyes.

“He was here last night…” you whispered in a raw and scratchy voice, result of your endless hours of distress before his arrival “he told me he loved me, that he left Sookie” scoff “and hear this… he left her because the baby wasn’t his!” Talk about karma at its best. Suguru already knew that but he was surprised to hear Satoru had come clean about it to you “He probably thought I would fall for that! But I didn’t” you added firmly.

Suguru was proud of you. He knew how hard it was for you to resist Satoru but you stood tall and proud when it mattered the most. “What do you want to do now?” Where you planning on moving again?

-

“I’m not leaving…” you said looking into Suguru’s liquid amber gaze. You couldn’t help but notice once again he had such pretty eyes, like a cat. You’ve always liked them, specially when they looked at you with such tenderness. You have missed him dearly during all this time.

“I can’t keep running away from him; I mean… it’s obvious he won’t stop and I… I am tired of molding my life to adapt to his whims. I’m staying here whatever happens. Sugu… I got the part for the Swan Lake!” You added remembering you haven’t talked to him during the last week and so he didn’t know about your latest accomplishment.

Geto’s eyes enlarged before a huge smile split his handsome face and his massive frame engulfed you in a tight hug. Of course he knew everything about ballet, he was your best friend after all. This was huge! Probably as big as making it in the ballet world meant “I’m so proud of you Kitten!” He said excitedly kissing your temple. Maybe not everything was as bad as he thought.

You were upset, it was true. But then again you were not prepared last night. Satoru had taken you by surprise. Now… you knew he was here and more or less knew what to expect from your soon to be ex-husband.

“Thank you Sugu…” you stopped and pulled back just slightly to look into his eyes from your height. He was a very tall man compared to you “I missed you” you said with a bright smile to which Geto replied with one of his own before pulling you in again for another hug “I missed you too Kitten” stroking your back softly Suguru decided he was happy to be here… with you.

-

https://youtu.be/3oSXqLgoSq4

|||

She's given up, been holding on for way too long

She's had enough

He's coming home again

But it's too late 'cause she won't stay with him

|||

The sunshine hitting his face was what woke him up. With a grunt Satoru rolled over on his side only to fall unceremoniously from the couch where he had passed out last night. The last thing he remembered was warping back to his hotel after you left him on the roof. The memory of you, turning your back on him and walking away squeezed his heart in a painful grasp.

Alcohol was never something he was attracted to, he liked to keep his brain constantly alert and stimulated. It served a purpose of course, it kept his infinity barrier on at all times, even when he was asleep. But last night he hit rock bottom. He didn’t care anymore…

As soon as he got back to the hotel, hopelessness made a home in his chest, sitting heavy on his heart. Walking to the fully stocked bar placed on the corner of his suite he opened a bottle of whiskey. He started slow since most everything was too bitter for his taste, so he went through the process of trying every single bottle until he found something to his liking.

Two hours and about fifteen different shots of everything he decided to settle for a bottle of Amaretto, some fancy Italian liquor made of apricot kernels. It was sweet.

Everything else after that was blur. Moving his sore body from the floor he forced himself to go to the bathroom. Maybe a hot shower would help ease his misery. Peeling off his clothes the smell of booze clinging on them made Gojo cringe. He decided to brush his teeth before showering. Looking in the mirror he couldn’t recognize the man starring back at him. He was a mess.

|||

Are we just ghosts out in the night?

Are we just waiting for a light that doesn't shine?

Are we just faking or is this real?

'Cause I don't know how to feel

Are we just ghosts now, you and I?

|||

Last night he had been so desperate, so hopeless and broken hearted. That’s when it hit him… his wife didn’t hurt him, she didn’t cheat on him (unlike himself), she didn’t do anything to him and yet he was feeling as if the world was collapsing around him. He lied, cheated and fucked up everything for them both.

Guilt…

Unadulterated, burning and suffocating guilt was consuming him. He felt bad before but it wasn’t until last night that he grasped the concept that Y/N didn’t owe him anything at all and that HE didn’t deserve it anyways.

The plan originally had been to get back in your good graces by doing penitence, submitting to your every whim and desire by becoming your devoted slave for as long as you would have it. He never even considered the possibility that his wife DID NOT WANT to forgive him in the first place.

He thought you left to give him a lesson, that you would eventually come back to him after he had a taste of what it was like to lose you.

But even after you both shared such a searing kiss, so passionate that every cell in his body was humming, aflame with desire you still managed to walk away from him as if it meant nothing to you.

What good did it do to him to be the strongest when he couldn’t even protect his wife… from himself.

After showering, changing clothes and ordering every sweet pastry and desert from the room service menu Gojo stopped to rethink his strategy.

What?…

Did you think he was going to stop there?

Absolutely no, love!

If anything, your rejection had only fueled his need to get you back.

“Time for plan B” sighing he pulled out his phone it rang a couple times before someone answered “good morning Mrs. Mazzo, this is Gojo Satoru. I’m going to need you to forward to me Miss Petrova’s rehearsal schedule…”

—

“This is really good!” You hummed happily after swallowing a bite of your steak. Suguru sat across from you at Keens Steakhouse, with a grin he watched as you indulged yourself in what you called your ‘cheat meal’ of the month. Being a professional ballerina was a tough and demanding commitment that controlled every aspect of your life, from how you train to what you eat. Despite it all, Geto knew you always found a happy balance that worked just fine for you.

Seeing your big smile made his heart jump in his chest, you were as beautiful and alluring as the day he met you. If only he had told you he liked you before Satoru did. This question kept him up at night, playing all sorts of scenarios in his mind. If he had taken the first step… would things have been different? Would you have ended up together? Married? Shaking his head he tried to focus on what you were actually saying. Deviating his thoughts to that kind of scenarios was dangerous. He also didn’t want to push it when he was perfectly aware you were still healing; he wasn’t a low life piece of shit to take advantage of your vulnerability.

But when you smiles at him as if he was the only thing in your world, when you held his hand across the table, playing with his finger, his throat felt dry and tight.

“What do you think Sugu?” Your curious and expecting eyes caught him like a deer in the headlights “I’m sorry Kitten, I was distracted. Could you repeat that please?” He asked with an affable smile.

You chuckled and stroke his hand softly “you look tired, did you sleep at all in the plane?” He shook his head “no, I didn’t. I never can, it’s uncomfortable” he hid on purpose the true reason why he hadn’t been able to sleep “come on Sugu! Let’s go back home! I bet you are tired” you said offering him a sweet smile.

After paying your bill you walked the few blocks back home. Suguru of course would be staying with you in the spare room of your penthouse. Holding hands while you talked to him about the activities the city had to offer, your schedule and how you intended to fit the time to do some tourism with him. “You don’t have to bother Kitten, I know you are busy enough with your job, I will be fine” he insisted.

You stopped on your tracks and stood in front of him, pouting, making him chuckle. You looked every bit the kitten he knew you to be, all bothered and moody “no! I want to spend time with you too you know! I haven’t seen you in so long! I’m not going to waste this chance!” You insisted to which Suguru threw his hands up in the air “I surrender Kitten! Do with me as you will” you giggled and then blushed. “Uh… eh… ok! I will!” He took your hand again and you both resumed your walk.

-

Satoru warped to the roof top of the building adjacent to yours, the lights were out in your apartment and he couldn’t sense your presence inside. You left? Where did you go?

Before a second though he warped inside your apartment but he saw all your stuff was still there, maybe you went out for groceries or something?

After a few minutes sitting on your couch he decided to wait for you on the street so he could see when you got home.

(Almost an hour later)

Oh… he wasn’t ready for what he saw.

“That mother fu….” Satoru grinds his teeth watching you walk down the street holding onto Suguru’s hand while talking distractedly. From his hiding spot in front of your building he closed his hands in a tight fist.

Well, this complicated things… a lot more.

————-> Chapter 10

———————————-

@sleepyamaya

@cloudsinthecosmos

@jxvajxy

@satoruhooraaa

@my-reality-is-in-my-head

@dok-ja

@jscarlet06

@fiona782

@thatsharklovingwoman

@heichoustheoryofcleanliness

@syynnaaah

@shaylove418

@coldvillainess

@vampgguk

@sukuna1stwife

[xiaowhore]

*this is a purely self indulgent idea I've had for a bit that I need to get off my chest

so basically most of the time Xiao is paired up with a sweet s/o right, the whole grumpy x sunshine thing and I agree is kinda cute seeing Xiao, who is incredibly out of touch with his emotions, shown how to feel. butttt, what if he falls for someone who is also is like 'fuck love' but in a different way. while Xiao has never felt love before, the reader has and was burned by it. maybe reader is a human/adeptus hybrid (this can work with a human reader too, but personally I kinda feel weird when the immortal characters are paired with humans (no hate just a personal preference)) who spent a considerable amount of time in the human world, fell in love with a human and it ended tragically (maybe they died, cheated on the reader the possibilities are endless). also the reader sees all the toxic love that happens in the human world and is just like 'nopeee im gooddd.'

like you could take it the fluffy way where Xiao does something romantic and has nooo idea the repercussions and reader is like 'SHIT NO NO NO I AM NOT IN LOVE WITH HIM.' or it could go angsty where the reader low key manipulates Xiao into believing his feelings for the reader are platonic orrr that he really loves someone else cuz the reader doesn't want Xiao to hurt them or them hurt him so they decide that its better to hurt themselves

like I said, purely self indulgent and you're like my favourite author to dump my random ideas tooo also its great seeing you active againnn

have a fantastic night! ❤️

bro. this is. like a literal fic already ?? do you plan to write. this is a great idea.

by the sound of things, it doesnt seem like you dont (unfortunately) but id just like you to know the idea of it is. food for thought. inexperienced as he is, i believe xiao longs for love too, and he probably wouldnt be able to understand why anyone wouldnt want that. meanwhile, there's you who'd only been able to see the ugly sides of love, and you think of xiao as someone too pure to truly understand what it means. love isnt all sunshine and rainbows like he thinks it is. falling in love is easy, but staying in love is not. not to mention if you're dating an adeptus who can live much longer than the average human, you'd face struggles along the way.

love isnt eternal; you learned that too late. but xiao wants eternity with you.

[watevermelon]

Possessive | College!Ushijima Wakatoshi x Reader

✧ Summary: Libero to the women’s Fukurōdani volleyball club, you moved away from Miyagi and to Tokyo during your first-year. And while you cherished your high school years, you wondered how different it might have been if you stayed with your childhood friends at Shiratorizawa. After a failed confession in junior high, you were more than surprised to re-connect with the strong ace in college.  ✧ Warnings: Implicating language and some out-dated head-cannons ✧ Tags: Fukurodani crew! Akaashi being an instigator from Kuroo’s influence probably, subtle Jealous moments, fluff, cleared-up misunderstandings, angst, and mutual pining at one point ((this is a long one)) -> A/N: If you are an oldie fan of HQ you might have seen this on Deviantart (we shared an acc there and now stuff is getting migrated 😛 )) -> Masterlist

--------xXxXxXxXxXx------

You were on the phone, lazily chatting away with your favorite Salami and catching-up with what you had missed since the last time he called. You went to Shiratorizawa Academy Junior High with the red-haired middle-blocker and many of the other current third-years. During the break of your first-year of high school, your dad got a new job in Tokyo and it was off to Fukurōdani Academy for you.

It was an amazing three-years that you would not change, from Bokuto’s inconsistent confidence – which did extend to girls! – to Akaashi’s eternal suffering. You were amongst the many who cried at graduation. It was not until you heard your own name called and you were approaching the stage to receive your diploma that it finally hit you that this would be your last walk on the field. No more all-nighters with Akaashi or getting in trouble with Bokuto – well, that’s actually entirely possible in the near future. But it was truly an end of an era and you would give anything to be able to watch memories of those three-years.

Bokuto was a proud dad of his team and put on a strong face. But you were soft at heart and immediately felt tears break your stern façade the moment you saw captain Akaashi. And for once, the usually stern setter smiled at you. It was a pure instance that would forever brand your heart.

There were too many ‘what if’s’ concerning your time at Shiratorizawa and if you had stayed there for high school instead. It was better to be focused on reality than what could have happened. You loved your time at Fukurōdani Academy and connected well with the various people you met.

You can, however, admit to mentally wandering off once or twice during class, pondering how your childhood friends were dealing without you. Did they miss you? How is everyone? You would get various glimpses here and there throughout the schoolyear from the various sports channels, seeing the familiar tufts of hair signifying the guess monster and his ace.

They came to you almost twice a year. Shiratorizawa was a powerhouse school, there was no doubt about it. And they never failed to appear at nationals that were held annually in Tokyo. They were a reliable team, much like your own, and you would meet-up for the customary trash-talk between the Miyagi-representatives and yourself from the Tokyo Prefecture. You could look forward to seeing them around those times of the year, it was that simple. They were reigning champions and kept the title strong.

You could still remember first seeing them at the fall national competition. It was your first Interhigh and the women’s team had advanced to the National Playoffs. You were nowhere near the starting lineup, but you still felt the pride of your school swell within you as one of their libero’s.

The men’s and women’s volleyball team were leisurely walking through a hall of the gymnasium, trying to emanate their most serious and daunting look possible. You walked alongside your new outgoing classmates, Kōtarō Bokuto and the male libero Haruki Komi. Both of them were rays of sunshine, but it seemed Komi was better at withholding his enthusiasm.

“Don’t look now, but there’s one of the rising aces everyone has been talking about at your ten o’clock.” Haruki whispered in your ear, lightly nudging your elbow.

You glanced to the side and the bright-red gravity defying hair was enough to signify who was before you. In the loudest inside voice you could muster, you basically yelled, “I figured swans would be more concerned with looking pretty than anything else.”

Immediately, Tendou whipped around to see who the fuck was talking shit.

Haruki was instantly regretting bringing the purple-clad giants to your attention. He grabbed your arm and quickly tugged you to hide behind your senpai’s, who could handle the diffusing the situation. Bokuto was simply smiling away, both curious and excited to see his prospective rivals. The older, calmer members of Fukurōdani Academy were quick and you felt some weight fall on your shoulder – probably your very captain telling you to silently shut the hell up. But when they saw Tendou’s smile and Ushijima’s confused face, they were just as perplexed.

“Missed me boys?” You waved at the crowd of Shiratorizawa jackets, spotting a few familiar faces.

“We have a traitor in our midst!” Tendou yelled back, ruffling you hair and gaining surprised laughter from Bokuto.

During that Interhigh National Tournament, your team was defeated in the quarter finals by an all-girls school called Niiyama High. With a proud mindset, you set your eyes on your next chance in the spring with the third-years leading the charge. Unlike most schools, you were a powerhouse and not a single problem, like college exams or even graduation, was going to stop the third-years from continuing to Spring nationals.

The women’s team were comprised of mostly strong-willed women with fervent determination. You were quick to pick-up your dignity after the lost match and decided on supporting your male counterparts at the tournament. The match between the men’s teams of Shiratorizawa and Fukurōdani Academy were still going on and it was hype as fuck.

Both schools were known powerhouses, coming with complete cheerleaders, an entire cheering section, a band, and a teacher delegated with the pure role of leading the loud shouts. On the court, it was easy to tune out the audience and keep your eyes focused on the enemy in front of you. But as the women’s team scoured for seats, you could not help but be amazed at the sheer amount of people from your school who showed up to cheer. Bokuto was anxiously squeezing his hands at the sidelines, but you knew he was destined for more.

You and Bokuto had an affinity for befriending members of other teams and after the Interhigh tournament came the Kanto training camp – which rightfully handed you another ass. Other powerhouse schools taught you that you truly had much more to learn. Ubugawa, both men and women, were widely-renowned for their power serves. And as a libero, this awarded you constant red arms and a couple overly-excited receives to the head.

But it also brought you the greatest gift of all – or maybe worst, who knows?

This friendly camp introduced the sassy duo of Tetsurō Kuroo and Morisuke Yaku. Yaku was an amazing libero whom you admired from afar, even in your younger years. And this camp gave you a personal connection to the young man. The first few times you tried approaching him, your shyness would often kick in. Three years later and you could get away with lounging your legs across his.

In your second-year, Bokuto was already vice-captain while you only just gained a position on the starting block. It was, you figured, entirely natural since Bokuto was gaining ranks amongst national spikers. And that year, you secretly believed in your heart, was the best year of the three. The weight of the world had yet to be placed on your shoulders and there was no looming thought of graduation on the horizon. And that year ushered the era of Akaashi. You heard his name constantly, from both Bokuto and other male volleyball players, but was never fully familiarized with the boy.

You knew from bits and pieces that he was charming young man that Bokuto held in high-regard. A junior high picture showed a cute boy with dark scruffy hair, around your height. But hot momma, you were not prepared at all. Akaashi was a good amount of centimetres taller and his build accentuated his role as setter. And you were not going to lie, he was attractive.

You spotted him several times at practice, but you were too shy to actually introduce yourself. It took Bokuto literally shoving you at the poor boy for you to finally say hi. Something about Akaashi reminded you of home. His personality reflected several different members of your previous male team and something in particular about him often had you with a reminiscent smile. He was determined like Semi and incredibly proper like Ushijima. You even saw bits of Tendou in his sass and it was within a few days that you decided that this boy was going to be one of your best-friends.

The pretty-setter was in advanced classes and had no problems being included in courses with his older senpai’s. In the study group, Akaashi was the one often leading the charge and you thanked the stars for blessing your life with such an amazing guy.

By the time it was your third-year, Akaashi was already tired of your shit and would steer you away from any team with a semblance of purple in their uniform. Of course, he could never fully keep you from your original idiots and had to withstand it eventually. You progressed onto becoming vice-captain with your exuberant setter at the lead. The men’s vice-captain wondered on several occasions how the two leading counter-parts were so completely opposite to himself. You almost felt bad, but you knew that Akaashi secretly loved the attention he received from the extroverted cast. Between the two captain’s, you found yourself to be a tiny bit tamer and that caused Akaashi to find friendship in you.

It was during your last Spring Tournament that you felt your heart break. You were entirely focused on the winning title, but of course seeing the boys of Shiratorizawa was something you looked forward to. It was an added bonus to achieving a spot on the national scene. Sure, it was amazing for your volleyball team to achieve a title of that high regard. But it was never about the destination, but the journey. And you had multiple memories of fun and laughter when your team hung-out with Shiratorizawa.

But they never showed up.

You rubbed your eyes to reread the brackets, the name ‘Shiratorizawa’ never appearing on the paper. You asked Bokuto if there was a typo, but he was proud to reply that his apprentice finally brought the great Ushijima to his knees. You knew Karasuno joined the Kanto training camp during the summer, but that did not imply anything. Sure, it was to train powerhouse schools, but neither Shinzen nor Ubugawa qualified for nationals this year.

And yet, after watching the last two sets of Karasuno vs. Shiratorizawa, you knew.

It was over.

Your paradise was long gone and you wondered why Tendou never brought-up the subject while he kept in close-contact with you.  You kept your friendship with Tendou throughout high-school. He was eager to text and had no reserves about calling you. Ohira and Semi were both polite, but kept a considerable distance since you were only on generally nice terms before. They had no reason to make the effort and reach out to you. Seokawa had his own problems. And you heard from Tendou that the poor vice-captain was on the chopping block from the starting lineup from the hands of a new first-year.

Ushijima… He was continually elusive. Whether in-front of you or miles away, Wakatoshi would speak to you in concise words or none at all. You were okay with that in junior high, but the emptiness of his expressions seemed to echo with every day you were apart. You were close to the ace before you left, one of the few proud females to call him your friend. The two of you had a mutual understanding, able to communicate without words and truly appreciate the other person. He was not another pretty face to you, but a genuine cinnamon roll who needed help in the world. Ushijima was brutally honest and incredibly dense, traits that radiated in the young-male that you understood from his upbringing.

And yet, when you confessed your feelings to him before you left, he simply replied, “Thanks, you’re a good friend. I like you too.”

Out of embarrassment, you did not want to push the subject and just nodded at his words. Despite the limited amount of terms in his vernacular, Ushijima seemed to always make them sting in your heart. Tendou heard the news secondhand from his best-friend and attempted to confront you, but by then you were long gone. It was easier to dodge the questions when the eyes of the guess monster were not narrowing before you.

Most of the graduating volleyball players who continued with the sport advanced to a prominently volleyball-oriented college. So you were stuck with Bokuto, Kuroo, and many others for another four-years, not that you were complaining. This also implied another four-years of being included in party central and that thought alone made you tired. To your astonishment, Tendou had informed you that Ushijima was also going to Tokyo U, along with a few others from the Miyagi prefecture. You were excited at the prospect of being reunited with a few others, but was quickly heart-broken at the news of the Guess Monster quitting volleyball.

You could only imagine a team with both the owl and cat. It must be hella scary for the opponent! Kuroo, you were sure, was one of the best middle-blockers in the Kanto prefecture and having two formidable aces only added to the team’s repertoire. One more year and Akaashi would join them. That would be the power team you would pay to see. But after spotting the gaudy, yet incredible skill of Oikawa Tooru, you stated that the team was overpowered and needed to be fixed because it was simply unfair.

Your training with Yaku did not betray you and you were proud to represent Japan on the professional scene. Seeing your past rivals from Niiyama High only fueled your passion. It proved your ability to stand at the same level next to previously prestigious “queens of the court.” Only one other female enrolled in Tokyo U with you from Fukurōdani Academy and the two of you were roommates. She was your only friendly familiar face on the team and it seemed like the Miyagi prefecture had more strong males in volleyball than females for the school-year.

The sport itself was nothing in comparison to high-school. Even while attending a private academy, your time at Fukurōdani was more laid-back than college. The men’s and women’s volleyball teams were entirely separate entities and they were not as close-knit like in high-school. Bokuto and yourself had a tight friendship and kept your study group from Fukurōdani, with the addition of Kuroo and Oikawa. As the schoolyear progressed, you saw the addition of Yaku and even later Ushijima.

The only times you really hung-out with the boys was concerning class or getting lit. Kuroo was a party-animal and you learned the different player’s names as they flit through party to party. And since Ushijima was the way he was, you almost never saw him. It was ironic. Tendou attended school in Tokyo as well, but at an entirely different college. And yet you talked to him more than Ushijima, who was always only a few minutes walking-distance.

That was until your spring semester, when you had to share a general-education class with the ace. Ushijima did not ignore you, he acknowledged your presence with a friendly head-nod, but never actually engaged in conversation. It had been three full years since you had a meaningful conversation with someone who used to be your best-friend. Akaashi advised you to stop acting like a little bitch and actually talk to him. And you decided on not letting this opportunity slide.

At the start of the next biology class, you took the seat next to Ushijima’s usual spot. You saw the almost unperceivable narrowing of his dark eyes as they gazed over you, but held your ground. There were a few minutes to the start of class, so you initiated conversation.

“So how’s volleyball?” Three years of not talking and that’s your leading question?? You internally screamed, but later thought of it as appropriate. Ball was literally life for Ushijima, so asking a question of ‘how are you’ would undoubtedly include the sport.

“Fine.”

“How are you handling Bokuto?”

“He is loud, but a rational spiker who is good for the team.”

“Yeah, he tends to bring out the best in other people.”

“Ah.”

“One more year and Sakusa is rumored to join the college team. Looks like Tokyo U might have more rivals within the team than on the outside.”

“I will accept anyone’s challenge.”

“… Nice.”

So much for that! You sighed outwardly, labeling your attempt as a defeat and willing to just end the conversation there. He seemed to notice your distress, but made no effort to address it. Instead, you took out your phone and readied to text Tendou depicting your failure.

Right when you were going to click send, Ushijima spoke and took away from your line of thought, “You were the vice-captain of the women’s team at Fukurōdani Academy.” He was stating more than asking and you simply nodded to affirm his statement.

“How did you know?”

“Tendou supplied daily updates on your status.”

“Oh..” You were inwardly blushing. The Guess Monster was such an instigator, even when he was miles away he was trying to set you up with his ace! You found his actions loyal and damn, he was hard-core bro.

“It is rare for a libero to be chosen to lead a team.”

“I didn’t exactly do that… My friend who was the captain was much more inspirational and had no problems rallying the team. I was more of the foundation that would support you from the distance.”

“Many do not realize the importance of a libero.” The statement was completely ambiguous and you were unsure if it was a compliment or something Ushijima was simply stating.

Your conversations continued on like this for the rest of the semester. The two of you were cordial and even shared lunch several times. However, the dark-haired spiker still spoke with concise and blunt words. To any outsider, it appeared that Ushijima was simply entertaining your attempts at friendship. But you knew. Years of patience and experience had already taught you that Ushiwaka already categorized you as a friend. Otherwise, he would make no effort to even listen to you and would directly shut you down.

During the break, many of the students would return home for the extended amount of time. And to celebrate their last night, Kuroo of course arranged a party to include their soon-graduating seniors. It was more laid back and invited both the men’s and women’s volleyball team. And for once, during the entire first year of college, you saw Ushijima at a party.

You were, by no definition, a party-animal like your close friends. Bokuto and Kuroo thrived under social events and you viewed it as simply trivial. You could enjoy the occasional party and drinking with your friends. But you preferred smaller groups of hanging-out with the few people you cherished. Lazily watching a movie or playing video games appealed more to you than the party-scene. There was nothing wrong with it! You just preferred something more low-key.

There were certain members of the men’s volleyball team that seemed to simply baffle you with their personalities. Kuroo was the master of provocation and off the court, he was the sass master of the new volleyball mean girls – mean boys? You simply named them the salt squad, since it was easier. The combination of Kurro, Oikawa, and Bokuto was too much for one friend group and you often avoided their loud boisterous voices during a party.

Kuroo, however, had no problem spotting you in the doorway the moment you entered and just as quickly there was a drink in your hand. You sipped away, tasting the familiar flavor of honey jagermeister. Bokuto was probably the happiest of the bunch, singing offtune into the karaoke machine whilst the music of the party boomed around him. There was no doubt he would be sad at losing his senpai’s, but that gloomy thought lasted for a brief moment until he was reminded that Akaashi would soon be joining the squad. You worried for the poor setter – by the end of your third-year Akaashi looked done and you could only imagine him at the end of another four years.

You off-handedly expressed this thought to Bokuto once, who simply waived it off and implied that at least Akaashi will be reunited with you, instigating something yet again. Kuroo agreed before slapping you on the back, offering encouraging words along the lines of you finally hitting that.

“One more month until you’re reunited with your lover boy!” He enthusiastically yelled with a distant Haruki agreeing. You rolled your eyes and pushed him away jokingly.

The two – with the help of even Kuroo! – had no problems shipping you and Akaashi together throughout high-school, even going as far to lock the two of you in the storage closet. But you knew. Akaashi had his eyes set on someone else, they were just too oblivious to see how enraptured the setter was. If anything, Akaashi was the brother you never had.

The party was loud and you wondered how none of the RA’s attempted to break-up the source of probably many complaints. It occurred to you somewhere along the way that they were probably at the party as well. It was the end of the schoolyear, of course everyone would be more laid back.

Oikawa offered you a hello and took a quick snap with you for social media before continuing to flit through the party. You wandered on your own, spotting other members of your team and waving joyfully at them. A different red solo cup made its way in your hands, bringing the grand total of drinks to four full red-solo cups in five minutes. There was music booming through the rooms and you were not a dancer, so you steered clear of that particular area. Once you reached the living-room, there was a large aura projecting discomfort and looking entirely out of place.

Ushijima was sitting on the couch, looking incredibly bored and sporting his usual stoic-look, sandwiched between fellow non-party animals, one who you recognized as Daichi Sawamura. You knew the other was generally calm, but not at all reserved. You made eye-contact with the ace, ready to make your way over and the other two acknowledging it. Daichi offered his seat to you and you figured this was an incredibly rare opportunity, which you would not be surprised if never happened again.

“You look like a true farmer against us city-folk.”

“That is because I am from a small town.” Ushijima explained.

“I mean, you look out of place. Maybe that wasn’t the best analogy,” You sighed inwardly, “I’m surprised to see you here.”

“It occurred to me that most of the team socializes this way.” Ushijima explained. “This may contribute to future synergy.” You nodded at his line of thinking and sympathized with the ace.

You sat in comfortable silence, occasionally sipping your drink and mid-way realizing you had never experienced this particular burn down your throat before. It was the number one rule at a party to never drink from an open container or simply from something that you were unsure of the contents. You thought back to your first two, given to you by the trustable Kuroo. But the next few drinks drew blanks and it hurt your head to think about it.

Ushijima, spotting your expression, did not hesitate to take the cup out of your hand and set it on the table. “Are you alright?”

“Yeah, just wondering what the hell that was.” You held your head and knew there would be an oncoming headache.

You wanted to get fresh-air, getting up without saying goodbye. You pushed through the crowd, faces blurring together and no one really speaking to you directly. The door was not a far distance and you were quick to rush outside. There was a trash-bin by the lightpost and you leaned over it, the feeling of bile crawling up your throat but never fully making it up. An unfamiliar hand was on your back and you turned around to see Ushijima attempting to comfort you.

“This is far from alright.” He noted with hard-eyes, but did not halt the movement on your back.

“I thought I could take it.”

“Where is your dorm?”

“Looking to finally make a move on me, Waka-chan?” Woah, backup! The effects of alcohol seemed to be seeping down in your mind, but there was nothing you could have done to stop the words from leaving your mouth.

Thankfully, the ace ignored your words and put an arm around your waist and threw your own around his shoulder. The poor man carried you back into the building, but to another dorm room. You felt bad for Ushijima, having to drag along a drunkard to probably his own room.

There was no other inhabitant – you figured his roommate was probably at the party – and you took note of the neat room. Ushijima placed you precariously on his bed before going into another area, you presumed the bathroom. The walls were sparsely decorated – you could attribute that to the fact that everyone would be moving out soon for the semester end.

You sat-up, observing the unusually decorated desk of the ace. You knew instantly that it was Ushijima’s since the first frame was of his team back in Shiratorizawa. From his number, it was during a time that Ushijima was captain, but to you that could have literally been any year. It was no secret that Waka was strong and you wondered if he had a leadership role for multiple years. Another frame was depicting prom, you assumed, with various third-years of both the men’s and women’s volleyball team looking snazzy.

The last frame left you breathless.

It was of your junior-high days. Tendou was happily sporting his unforgettable bowl-cut with Reon showcasing his brand new toy in the background. In the foreground, was you and Ushijima side-by-side. You had an arm tucked in his, but the two of you used opposite hands to form a single heart. The only reason he had agreed was at the sly provocation of Tendou and his general naivety.

But why did he keep it?

You were holding the frame by the time Ushijima came out of the bathroom and instantly commented on it, “Look at little Waka-chan! You were so cute. Ha, you’re still cute.” Ushijima lifted an amused brow before attempting to grab it from your hands. He was guiding you to his bed, placing you there to lay down.

“I wish I meant something to you.”

Alright, you were definitely drunk.

His grasp loosened and you could sense distress in the dark-orbs that gazed at you. “You mean a lot to me.”

You sighed and seemed to not notice him tucking you into the bed, “Yeah, yeah. You told me that before. I’m a great friend.”

“You are referring to the time that you stated your feelings for me.” Ushijima clarified and you were only growing more exasperated.

In your alcohol-induced state, you had no filter and lifted your arms in derision. Taking a deep sigh, “Well duh. I confessed and you just waved me off.”

“I want to get to know you again.” Ushijima stated, “Now get some sleep.” You did not have it in you to fight back, but instead snuggled further into the pillows of your previous unrequited love.

The next day, you were sporting a headache that pulsed from the back of your head and hammered its way to the forefront. Ushijima was a gentleman and you had no qualms about waking up in his bed, squeezed between the wall and his large figure. He stirred the moment you moved, but you were too occupied with the throbbing pain to care. It seemed he was prepared for this moment, handing you a banana and a drink that looked too green in your opinion.

Ushijima put a hand in the small of your back, guiding you to sit-up and drink. You leaned into his touch, too mentally exhausted to really question what was happening. His other hand outstretched across your waist and you off-handedly noted that his roommate still had not returned to the dorm. Eye contact with the ace was too intense for the quiet morning, so you leaned further into the steady chest of Ushijima. You could feel the light thump of his heartbeat and closed your eyes against the reliable man.

Three years and it seemed Ushijima still had you in the palm of his hand.

And unfortunately for you, unlike most who get inebriated, you remembered everything from the previous night.

But Ushijima never commented on your leading words, so you decided to not bring them up. There would always be the mental reminder that you slept with the love of your life! And seeing him would just raise a blush. But Ushijima always seemed unconcerned in the matters of love and you let the days pass without bringing up your emotional distress. The last time you confessed did not exactly result in a happy ending, so you were content with saying nothing. You were happy with the simple memories of his strong arms surrounding you and his manly scent. Ushijima did not use scented shampoos or cologne simply because he found no need to, so his particular scent was entirely natural and entirely him.

There was a shift in your friendship, in the small gestures that you were gradually noticing. Ushijima was not a man of words, but of action. After class, he would wait for you to pack your things or even hold your backpack for you. When walking side-by-side, he made sure to keep a closer distance to you than anyone else. These things always garnered a smile.

Finals were quickly approaching and, even though volleyball was your love, you still had to maintain your scholarship. You haunted both the gym and library, your favorite ace trailing behind you at each destination. When majority of the volleyball males failed to show up to another study session, you were left alone with Ushijima. You took this opportunity to throw endless questions at the ace, who was willing to supply answers.

“I don’t remember Shirabu…” You said.

“He did not attend Shiratorizawa in junior high.”

“Oh. But I’m sure he’ll make a good captain.”

“They have enough talent to carry them far.”

“Kind words from the intense ex-captain.” You commented, then continued.  

“I heard Daichi Sawamura is from Karasuno.” You simply stated, waiting for him to interject. Ushijima only looked at you expectedly, supplying you with no words. “If you could, would you play Karasuno again?”

“Yes.” He paused, looking down at the textbook then back up at you. “I wanted to crush them.”

“I understand.” You nodded, “Anyone in particular?”

“Hinata Shoyou and Kageyama Tobio.” Ushijima was quick to respond and it was at that moment that he looked true to the scary rumors spread about him.

He was the type of person you could easily irk, but he would not express it unless you pushed him to do so. Waka was naturally patient and would not engage in useless confrontation. Ushijima and Tendou, you remembered, were prime members of the original Shiratorizawa salt squad, but they never actually hated anyone. And yet you could tell here and now that Ushijima’s feelings ran deeper than just animosity.

“The freak quick duo?"

“Only the setter has true talent.” He stated, but you could tell he was holding something back. You reached over and placed a light-hand on his own. Instinctively, Ushijima clenched it, but quickly relaxed under your touch.

“I hate baseless confidence.” Ushijima hesitated again, organizing his thoughts. “Hinata Shoyou was unable to demonstrate below average skill in blocking and receiving. Every time he served it seemed as though it was his first time. And yet…”

You put your book down at his silence, the sentence carrying with no ending. It was baffling to the ace, who was blessed with immense talent and height to carry him to nationals all three years of high-school. And yet his final tournament was stopped short by someone who was a full twenty-five centimeters smaller him. Not only that, but you could only imagine the disappointment after years of absolute victory to a fallen powerhouse.

“It is indescribable with words.” Ushijima settled on saying, “Hinata Shoyou and Kageyama Tobio have incredible synergy that is impossible to duplicate elsewhere.”

You nodded at his explanation before returning back to the study material. It was rare moments like this that showed that Ushijima was willing to open up his world to you. On more than one occasion, it seemed like you were prying. But Waka was quick to end your worrying by supplying questions of his own and even seeking out your friendship. It was slowly becoming like old times, but with the added benefit of a deeper relationship than one in junior high.

The semester break left you alone in Tokyo with your old friends – the Miyagi crew heading home for the extended amount of time. Thankfully, Ushijima fully recognized your growing friendship and made sure to socialize with you on a daily basis, with texts and even long phone calls into the night. It was quieter without Oikawa, but Kuroo and Bokuto were quick to integrate Akaashi into their group. You felt bad for the poor guy, but at least Kenma was attending the college as well. The blonde did not continue playing volleyball, but you could not separate his presence from the sport.

The new semester issued in so many more names that you literally could not keep up with the sheer amount of new volleyball players. You settled on the fact that every pretty person on the team had to be a setter after seeing the full line-up. Oikawa was fairly obvious, but Akaashi and the new addition of Shirabu Kenjiro definitely reinforced this fact. You had a palpable bias for befriending players from the Miyagi prefecture, since that was your previous home, but it was impressive how many of them from that area progressed to the Tokyo University.

You heard a considerable amount about Shirabu from Tendou and you learned quickly that he would add to the salt squad of Oikawa, Kuroo, and Bokuto. Sakusa was incredibly quiet and you wondered why Bokuto painted the poor boy as such an antagonist. Of the top five nationally ranked spikers of your graduating year, three of them were on the same team now. You wondered, several times in fact, how the hell the college was able to procure such a strong team.

Nishinoya was a ball of sunshine and a libero that made you wonder how he slipped under your radar. You got a quick glimpse of his skill when you watched his match against Shiratorizawa, but it was nothing like the upfront experience of his receiving skills. His dexterity was recognized by Yaku and the three of you, along with the other older female libero, formed a training regimen for your benefit.

Since you had priority registration this time, you were able to schedule classes with a friend in each one. Many of the volleyball members took sports medicine as their mandatory science elective and a good amount of you vowed to take it together. It was a class that few others would sign-up for and you were sure that you would all be able to enroll into the same class time. At first, it seemed like a good idea to share a class with many of your close-friends.

But, holy shit, you were wrong.

It was clear that this was not thoroughly considered. Your roommate was so enthusiastic and her attitude was fueled by the mean boy’s trio of Oikawa, Kuroo, and Bokuto. If that was not enough, of course, Akaashi and Ushijima were roped into taking the class.

The elective class, comprised of forty people in total, had a combination of seven crazy volleyball players and it was rare for a class to go by without your group getting yelled at by the professor. Literally, every single one of those boys were the captain of their respective team in high-school.  And yet??? How?? You wondered more than once.

It would always start with Oikawa’s never ending anger at Ushijima. From there, Akaashi could either decide to mediate the situation or allow Kuroo to provoke Oikawa more with teasing. If it was the latter, Ushijima seemed immune to their words and that only caused the two to get louder and more irritated. If it was the former, Bokuto would urge Akaashi to allow the two to settle their issues and it easily became an even more exasperating situation.

The worst option, was when the salt squad put aside their issues to provoke the ones around them. In high-school, Kuroo and Bokuto had no problems shipping you with Akaashi and Oikawa caught wind of this news fairly quickly. Your roommate from Fukurodani knew the truth, since you told her your history of Ushijima long before when the two of you were still attending high-school. But that fact did not stop her from joining in teasing you.

It was hella annoying, but your efforts to stop them halted long ago since there seemed to be no end. Both you and Akaashi would usually just ignore their teasing. But since Ushijima was in your class, fully present and listening to this, you stopped their attempts to get you and the setter together.

“But seriously.” Kuroo was urging you yet again during the break, “You guys are so cute.”

“You would have volleyball children!” Oikawa joked.

“Make sure they join the Fukurodani team.” Bokuto added, not looking up from his notebook as he copied down the notes off the board. You would urge on several occasions that this was not the case. Ushijima seemed to believe you words. And yet, every time he was present to hear the teasing his eyes would linger for a second longer or be a little too intense. But it was gone in seconds.

They took it too far one night, claiming to invite everyone out to dinner but only the two of you would be present. Akaashi had no problems with proceeding with dinner and you were fairly hungry. There was originally nothing stopping you from having a good time anyway, if not for the presence of Ushijima Wakatoshi. He just so happened to be present with Tendou at the restaurant, lounging by the window and listening to the boisterous voice of his best-friend.

You wanted to remain unseen, but unfortunately was seated directly next to them.

“(F/N)-chan! Wow are you finally dating?” Tendou asked, skipping all introductions to call you out. “Wait, I’ve seen you a few times on (F/N)’s Instabook. Good for you girl, he’s a good catch too.” Tendou lifted a thumbs-up in your direction and winked at Akaashi.

Akaashi, sick and tired of shit and future shit for the past four years (with an additional imminent three), slapped a palm to his forehead. Tendou gave a nervous laugh when the setter raised his head and settled a hard gaze on the red-head. “We are not dating.”

Akaashi then slowly turned his head to Ushijima and narrowed it with a certain passion that had the ace minimally narrow his brow. However, neither male waivered in their gazes. “I would not be subjected to this if a certain someone,” He took a long pause, “would confess their feelings for (F/N).”

Tendou was only more confused, turning his head to gaze between both boys. “Our friends are trying to get Keiji and I together. So they invited us to dinner and didn’t show up.” You explained.

“Oh.”

Ushijima and Akaashi had yet to relieve themselves of the eye-contact and you wondered why the hell they showcasing here and now their immense male pride. Tendou rolled his eyes and refused to comment on the situation.

Akaashi started, “With all this time (F/N) and I are spending together, we might as well date.”

That elicited a response, however incredibly minimal, from Ushijima. Unfortunately for the previous Shiratorizawa ace, his two best-friends were witnessing his unusual behavior. You and Tendou had spent so much time and were fine-tuned to the quiet man. And the slight narrowing of his gaze did not go unnoticed by either of you. Additionally, Akaashi was incredibly perceptive and observed the movement as well.

Akaashi lifted his chin and continued to push, “Maybe our friends were right. Maybe we should date – it’s not like there’s anything stopping us, right?” Akaashi turned to you and suddenly all three pairs of eyes were concentrating on your response.

Having Ushijima’s tense gaze pointed at you, it was overwhelming. You could see him clench and unclench his fist under the table, a form of stress-relief that you noticed the ace doing more than once in the past.

“What a love triangle we have here.” Tendou commented, smirking away and attempting to disseminate the tense atmosphere.

You opened you mouth to reply, but it was at that moment the waiter approached your table. She asked for your drinks and possible appetizers and by the time she was gone, so was the guess monster and his ace.

“Sorry Tetsurō jr., since when did you provoke other people?” You inquired the setter across the table from you.

“I always have, you’re just too dense to realize.”

“Excuse me?!”

“I spend most of my time with Kuroo-san, Oikawa-san, and Shirabu. Believe me, I’m the good one.”

“You mean Kōtarō is the good one.”

“Yeah right,” Akaashi scoffed and you tilted your head in surprise, “The moment you walk away Bokuto-san has no problems ogling your ass like the rest of them.”

The rest of your night went along smoothly, with of course, more teasing between you and the setter. Your friendship never wavered, even with a good year apart (not really since c’mon you texted all the time and had dinner multiple times together anyway). It was nice to have the entire squad back, but this time including your most beloved member from Shiratorizawa and other crazy Miyagi members. It was like your second-year at Fukurōdani Academy, but better.

Akaashi walked you back to your dorm, since he was a gentleman, not matter how sassy. You waited outside your door and he was quick to say something, “Don’t think I’m going to kiss you. I just said those things to elicit a response from your crush.”

You laughed as you smiled, “Really?”

“You’re cute (F/N), maybe in another life we could be together. Who knows? We could have been married, had cute volleyball babies, and spent our lives basking in one another’s company.” Akaashi tenderly stated, gently pushing a strand of hair behind your ear, before his entire expression dropped, “But for now, you’re not worth getting my ass beat.”

“Wow!”

“Sorry sweetheart, I have my own love to pine unrequitedly for.”

“But she likes you.” Akaashi rolled his eyes and ‘lightly’ pushed you into the door, resulting in you getting thrust fully against the partition.

You landed in a loud thud as you giggled, not at all surprised if your next door neighbors heard it as well. Your door immediately opened to show both your roommate and a furious Ushijima, who quickly guarded you by pushing your body behind him. He looked entirely ready to fight Akaashi and you grabbed the crook of his left elbow before the situation got out of hand.

“Wakatoshi, we were just joking around. Thanks for seeing me home Keiji-kun.” Akaashi had a face you could not describe with words, a mix of two opposites: frightened and belligerent. Like he was prepared for this fight to happen, but already knew that he would lose before going into it.

He waved goodbye and you closed the door lightly, turning towards the two occupants in the room.

Your roommate was the first to talk, “I just realized I forgot something in Bokuto’s room! I should probably go get it before he falls asleep.” And with that lame excuse, she was gone.

“What are you doing here Waka?”

“Do you like Akaashi?”

“Of course, he’s one of my best friends. Akaashi has had my back for the past few years and I honestly can’t imagine high-school without his friendship to anchor me.”

Ushijima nodded and continued, “Would you date Akaashi?”

“Absolutely not.” You replied instantaneously, “I don’t think I could ever be able to view him in that light.”

“Earlier Akaashi referred to the possibility of someone confessing their feelings to you. And that would stop your constant association with him.”

“Yeah…”

“Who was he indicating?” Ushijima seemed genuinely interested and you had no idea how to address the situation.

Akaashi, in his deranged mind, believed that Ushijima returned your feelings and the only barrier to your relationship was your own refusal to confess. But he was wrong, you knew. You knew more than anyone else that Akaashi was wrong in every way. Ushijima’s only love was volleyball. It consumed his heart and mind and there was no room for anyone else, especially not you. And the past few years was enough concrete evidence.

“It doesn’t matter. Akaashi was wrong and just making a false assumption.”

“Then what is stopping you from dating Akaashi?” Ushijima sat on your bed, never breaking eye-contact with you, “You two are intimately acquainted already, single, with similar interests.”

Ushijima never really took an interest in your personal life. He was distant about personal barriers, never even getting close to the line. And yet here he was, freely asking and you were providing answers without hesitation. That was, until that one in particular. You knew the reason already, but to explain that to the object of your affection seemed entirely out of the question. You cherished your friendship with Ushijima and did not want to ruin the dynamic you had just recently rekindled.

“I’ve only had romantic feelings for one person.”

“And that is?”

Taking a deep sigh, you closed your eyes and reopened them to see the expectant eyes of Ushijima Wakatoshi. But they were laced with something else: hope? No, it was pure vulnerability. It was rare to see that on the stern face of your favorite ace, but it was undoubtedly splayed across his visage. You felt the tendrils of hope crawl at the corners of your heart. Even one of the most nationally recognized volleyball players could get anxious, but seeing it was reminder that Ushijima Wakatoshi was human.

A living, breathing, human susceptible to the clutches of emotion and maybe even love.

Grabbing onto your already fading confidence, you dragged out. “You know already. Wakatoshi…” You hesitated for a second, wondering how you should word this, “You’ve had my heart since junior high.” You murmured and quickly looked down at the ground, feeling just as exposed at revealing your darkest secret to your love of nearly eight years.

You returned your eyes back up to the ace, who was gazing fondly back at you. He was off the bed, standing at full height with his mouth open only slightly as if he wanted to say something in reply. He towered over you and you felt the full weight of your confession in the growing silence. Ushijima clenched his jaw and you quickly assumed that your words were a mistake that he did not want to hear - for a second time. Your breath came out ragged and you were sure tears were already formed at the corners of your eyes. You sorely wanted to take it back, to go back just a couples minutes and make up some excuse, but it was far too late.

Eight years was too long to be in love alone.

You clutched at your chest and turned to leave your own dorm, but Ushijima was quicker and grabbed your elbow. He spun you around and you landed softly against his chest, encased in the arms that you yearned to be in since that night you were drunk. He was looking down at you, a rare smile directed towards you alone and that fact single-handedly had your heart soaring. Ushijima nuzzled his nose into your hair and pulled your arms around his body.

“You should have been this clear the first time.” Ushijima spoke, his phrases getting muffled against you and yet you understood every single word. “Since it was been the same for me.”

“What?” You pulled back to look at him, “But you rejected me.”

“No, I did not. If I remember correctly, I told you that I liked you too.” Ushijima corrected, arms resting at your waist to get a good look at you.

“You said I was a good friend! You put me in the friendzone, never to date and just some pal like Tendou.”

“You and Tendou are not the same to me.” Ushijima raised a brow at you, “I do not want to date Tendou. And I certainly do not want to kiss him.” Any argument dissipated in your mouth and you were sure your eyes were wide eggs peering up at Ushijima. One look at his face and you could tell from the amused tilt of his lips that he was teasing you.

You smiled and leaned further into his chest, propping yourself upward on the edges of your toes. He had that small grin reflecting back at you, inclining himself downwards toward your height. Your noses gently bumped one another before he claimed your lips, placing a light peck on the silky skin. It lasted no more than a few seconds before Ushijima leaned back, placing one of his large hands on the back of your head for a more possessive position.

You kissed him eagerly, not showing even the slightest bit of hesitation when he swiped a warm tongue against your lower-lip. In response, you could not stop your growing smile and he was quick to explore your cavern.

Ushijima pulled back after an unmeasurable amount of time, leaving you heavily disheveled and clothes upturned. Never, in your nineteen years of life, would you expect Ushijima to be so passionate in something besides his beloved sport. Placing a curious touch on your lips was enough to signify that they were swollen, you could only imagine how you looked at the moment.

He was leaning his forehead against yours, moving his hands to cover your own and rub tender circles over the skin. “It is around midnight, I do not want to impose over your sleep-schedule.”

“But I don’t want you to leave.” You whispered back, placing a light kiss on the tip of his nose. Seeing the mighty Ushijima with a flushed face ignited a fierce desire in your heart. But when he started biting his lip, you were not sure if you were still breathing.

“Neither do I.” He placed a prolonged peck on your lips, raking a lazy hand through your hair while the other stroked your hip beneath the loose cloth of your shirt.

“We could’ve been doing this the entire time.” You spoke, words coming out in a small whimper under his ministrations.

“Looks like I have to make up for lost time.” Ushijima mumbled near your ear, in his deep husky voice. You nearly mewled purely from his words, but when he lightly sucked at your collarbone, you swear you died right there. The desire you previously felt sparkling beneath the surface was being dragged to the forefront, ready to combust and roaring proudly in your ears. You were surely intoxicated off the glorious specimen that is Ushijima Wakatoshi, the love of your life.

And suddenly he was grasping you chin, nuzzling your noses before lightly brushing your lips against one another. Ushijima paused, barely touching you and yet breathing in the same air, before crushing his lips against yours. He did not hesitate to take your bottom lip into his mouth, sucking away. It was an action so possessive and yet so Ushijima that you moaned into the touch.

“It’s only ever been you.” He murmured against your skin and you were fully unable to respond, head spinning purely off his affection. You never took Ushijima as the type to shower his significant other with fond words, but that was not entirely fair since you never imagined him even dating.

By the time you pulled away, it seemed Ushijima had already placed you to sit on your bed. It was astonishing how much you trusted him, how much he could get away with and you would sincerely follow him. He had a knee of the bed, dominantly hovering over you and invading all personal space.

“Ushijima,” You whispered against his lips, tenderly grabbing his face with both your hands to get a full look at him. He was always handsome, but seeing him with affection pointed only towards you – you were sure that he was your soulmate.

He hummed in question, eyes marginally open and a minute smile gracing his face. You continued, “I love you.”

Ushijima’s smile only grew, “I love you too.”

--------xXxXxXxXxXx------

-> Masterlist  -> A/N: Hope you enjoyed the long-ride of this fic! There’s a lot going on and this was made around 2017-ish, so I’m happy that some of it hasn’t been disproven. :))

[dreamgirledward]

movies that could fix dean :)

the truman show (1998) dean IS truman-coded. break free from the narrative, baby! dean's the hamster in the wheel of chuck's show and he's telling the creator to go fuck himself! coco (2017) bc i can so easily picture jack asking to watch it with him, cas and sam and they'd all definitely sob at the end also i just think any film with a theme about familial love and loss would break him into a million pieces lilo & stitch (2002) dean and nani 🤝 eldest daughters growing up too fast, working hard to keep their broken family together and raising a baby sibling that doesnt quite understand your sacrifice, two sisters against the world, etc. etc. you get it. i think the Aloha O`e scene would make him ugly sob and would provide a lot of catharsis for him pride & prejudice (2005) purely bc i DO think the shot of darcy walking through the field towards lizzie at dawn could fix him. also. he loves someone. most ardently. brokeback mountain (2005) oh. you know. both mamma mia films (2008, 2018) mostly bc i think once he let himself enjoy abba he would immediately come out to everyone he knew but also specifically i think here we go again's representation of motherhood would cause him to have a breakdown billy elliot (2000) (i havent stopped thinking about this since it was posted </3 @skepticalfrog im still so unwell thank you so much for drawing that.) literally any representation of pure fatherly love like this would help dean work through all his shit with john and understand that fathers DO NOT have to be Like That and he was in fact a victim and it could definitely help him with how to be a better father towards jack. billy's surety of his masculinity + sexuality while learning ballet AND how clearly not homophobic he is towards michael: literal perfection i just really need dean to watch billy elliot it is an absolutely perfect film. also. dean in out with the old. thinking. legally blonde (2001) is it a stretch to say dean's elle-coded? maybe but i dont care. pretty person that's been told to stick to what they Know and just Do As They're Told but actively chooses to go after what they want and even excel at it, proving to everyone around them that they're much more than a pretty face and extremely capable <3 elle would be dean's hero eternal sunshine of the spotless mind (2004) i just really need him to hear clementine's monologue that's literally her explaining to not only joel but to the audience that she is in fact not the manic pixie dream girl of his dreams. also choosing to not give up on the one you love even when you both have hurt each other horribly is very divorce arc destiel if i do say so myself

[meepmorpperaltiago]

Slipping Through My Fingers All The Time

I started a marvel binge about a month ago and I’ve been hyperfixating on spideychelle for a while now – so I started this fic and then realised the last prompt of @mjweek fit perfectly! This is a crazy long fic by my standards but I hope you like it!

The first time May hears Michelle Jones’ name is after the Washington Incident. She doesn’t particularly register it, not with everything else happening in their lives at that point. She’s just another one of his classmates, only just edging into the category of “friend”, if something like that can even be categorised at all.

She doesn’t hear the girls’ nickname for a while either.

Until one day, when Peter casually asks: “Would you mind if MJ slept over along with Ned?”

“MJ?”, she questions, turning towards him with a puzzled look.

“Michelle Jones... you know, the new Academic Decathlon Captain? Her friends call her MJ and now I guess Ned and I allowed to call her that since we’re her friends”.

She seems to bond to their group increasingly after Homecoming and then after the Blip. She’s not rude by any means, but she doesn’t really say a lot in comparison to her friends, so May doesn’t ever particularly chat to her in any depth beyond polite greetings and queries about being picked up after late night study -sessions-turned-sleepovers.

But as a platonic trio, the three of them seem to be on good ground.

Looking back, she’s not sure she could pinpoint when exactly when the true shift happened.

Slowly but steadily, Peter mentions her more and more in a way he’s never talked about any other friend before, even more than he used to mention Liz. It reaches a point where she expects to hear about the latest “badass” thing that MJ did whenever she asks him how school was that day, right alongside tales of their gang’s usual exploits and the regular gossip of Midtown. It’s not to an unhealthy or obsessive extent, but it’s enough for her to realise that something must be going on between them, even if it’s just a spark.

Not wanting to put pressure on Peter to talk about it, she waits patiently for her suspicions to be confirmed, because she becomes more and more certain every day that there’s something there.

A few weeks before the big school trip to Europe and what they’re both hoping will be a much deserved break, she comes home to Peter furiously scribbling something onto a scrappy frayed bit of paper, his entire face scrunched into fierce concentration.

“Are you designing a new suit or something?”, she casually asks, that being the only thing she can think of in spite of her nephews’ lack of artistic talent.

“Oh no”, is his slightly shy response. “It’s just... a plan...”

That confuses her even more and she sits down beside him, finally looking at what he’s been writing down whilst asking him: “a plan for what? World domination? Have you decided to go all angsty hero turned supervillain on us?”

He laughs at that and then explains himself. “I really like MJ. I wanna tell her how I feel in Europe and I thought it would be better to just write it down rather than winging it. I tried to just be honest with her earlier today and after I said that I had something I wanted to tell her I kind of froze... and ran... very fast... and elephant like... a lot of people stared, it was very noisy and embarrassing.”

She sits with him for about an hour after that, helping him to develop his pretty loose plan into something more concrete. She also had the sad thought that if Tony was still around he would’ve been all over this situation, helping Peter. It’s yet another figure in his life who will never be there for the big moments, but all she can do is try her best for him, like she has done since he was 4 years old and they all realised his parents’ weren’t coming back from that damn plane crash.

In the end, the trip of course gets derailed by (what else?) more superhero stuff and even before what follows a few weeks later, she feels awful that he can’t take a pause from stress and danger for even two weeks, at the age of just 16. He’s still just a kid, but the weight of the world never seems to lift from his shoulders.

But the one positive is that it looks like he didn’t need the plan. When they’re driving home from the airport, the first thing he talks and talks and talks about is everything that happened with him and MJ. Apparently she loved the necklace even though it was broken, they kissed 3 times on Tower Bridge (and a few more times on the way home) and now they’re going on a date soon. She questions if swinging around New York might be a bit intense, but he shrugs her off, saying that it’ll be fine.

She finds out later that it wasn’t fine, but everything that follows after their date completely crashes into everything and makes that detail anecdotal.

Everything changes after Mysterio’s video – at first he runs for far too long and she’s so worried and it breaks her heart to read all the awful, untrue things that damn Daily Bugle keeps on pumping out. The physical copy would be better off used as toilet paper in her opinion (she can’t think of anything as witty for the more popular digital version, but she’s trying). They all meet with him undercover, sporadically, supporting him in whatever way they can.

After an adventure involving Dr Strange (she’s proud of the fact that learnt his name properly now) and weirdest of all several other Spider-Men, he finally comes home and even though everything is still completely uprooted and unstable, at least she has him back now.

For everything that still comes afterward, for every run in with photographers and crazed fans and every time the danger they’re all in now that the world knows becomes apparent, she’s there to pick him back up. And MJ and Ned are too.

She notices that he comes back from patrols even later and when she talks to him about it he admits with a shy blush that he’s been stopping by MJ’s room every night for weeks now. It all seems very Romeo and Juliet. She also chuckles when it’s brought up in conversation with MJ’s mother, because of course she knows he’s there when they think they’re being so sneaky and secretive. How he managed to keep his identity hidden for so long, she’ll never know.

Over time, she gets to know MJ pretty well too: she learns that she’s smart and fierce and sarcastic and cynical in a way that balances Peter’s eternal sunshine perfectly. They really do fit together like pieces of an extremely adorable puzzle.

Her usually mended heart breaks a little when she realises how well she would’ve gotten along with Ben. But eventually she puts that thought away in a precious mental box, carefully kept and full of now bittersweet memories. She simply allows herself to share in her nephews’ new found and long overdue joy.

She truly realises the depth of their feelings for each other in unfortunate to say the least circumstances. A hammering from the Green Goblin puts him in hospital unconscious for a week even with his advanced healing abilities and MJ won’t leave his side for a second, holding onto the broken black dahlia necklace like it’s the only thing anchoring her to reality even after Ned has finally been persuaded to go home to bed. They sleep in plasticky, slightly sticky and hard hospital chairs right next to each other and when Peter finally wakes up the next afternoon he looks so happy to see the 3 people he loves most in the world carefully watching him.

She’s never seen him more scared than the first time a bad guy kidnaps MJ. They were aware that something like this was likely, the girl even prepared herself with self defence classes and her boyfriend is a literal freakin’ superhero. But still, when he finds her, May can see through the security footage that her and Ned are nervously watching, that he holds her with such relief, like she’s the most precious thing in the world.

They of course go to senior prom together and take the classic photos before they go — it’s incredibly corny but their radiant smiles put a bright grin on her face too.

They go long distance for college and although they’re both worried about growing apart, they seem to just get closer, moving into a cramped apartment in their second year.

She comes over for dinner (Peter has always been a disaster in the kitchen, but MJ’s competent enough to keep them from completely living off take out) and the three of them chat and laugh together and they’re not even out of college yet but MJ already feels like family.

What she doesn’t expect is for him to call her at 2am, in floods of tears, barely able to explain to her what happened except “I’ve fucked everything up, oh my god, I’ve fucked everything up...”

Eventually May gets a bigger picture through his tears (“it’s so stupid”, he hiccups down the phone). Essentially it all boils down to a lack of communication and small things boiling over into a blow out fight. Now she’s walking out in sheer anger and he’s frozen in panic. May feels panicked too, feeling the pressure of giving Peter the right advice when she’s honestly not sure how she would handle the situation. He might be all grown up, at college with a long term living together relationship, but sometimes she’s reminded of how young he still is.

She ends up telling him to run after MJ and apparently he does just that, rushing out into the pouring rain and kissing her through tearful apologies from both of them in what sounds like something straight out of a rom com. After that, they get better at sharing how they’re feeling and their relationship seems all the better for it.

She gives him her old engagement ring just after their two year anniversary of living together, after he comes to her apartment with an excited grin, telling her that he wants to propose. An everlasting symbol of her old love, of the love her and Ben shared, that their child can now share with the love of his life.

“So what’s your big plan?” she asks him excitedly over coffee in the mug he bought her a few birthdays back.

“Well, she hates public proposals, so I can’t do that – I was thinking of doing something at home, something cosy...”

That’s exactly what he does.

May helps him with his plan, just as she did 5 years ago – except this time she’s a little bit more directly involved.

Luckily, May and MJ already have a regular rom com night every few weeks, so MJ isn’t too surprised or suspicious when she invites her ‘round for an afternoon of Bridget Jones. Just as the perpetually single heroine is giving birth to Colin Firth’s baby, she gets a thumbs up text from Peter, letting her know that he’s ready to go.

MJ took the bus here, so May suggests they go back to the apartment together, because she couldn’t bear the idea of not being around for what awaits MJ at home. MJ gives her a strange look but just rolls with it.

When MJ opens the apartment door after saying goodbye to May, the lights are dimmed, except for a glowing structure in the corner, which Peter comes out of grinning.

“I made you a fort!” he declares happily with his arms in the air. As MJ grins and laughs and kisses him as she jumps into his arms, she takes that as a cue to fully leave them alone.

She stands and waits and wonders what’s happening inside. She could see that he’d filled the inside of the fort with fairy lights and she knows that he was planning on ordering MJ’s favourite food (pepperoni pizza) and putting on a murder documentary she’d been talking about for weeks.

After what must’ve been the time for them to eat their pizza and watch the documentary, plus about 7 minutes give or take, they open the door. They both have tears in their eyes as MJ holds up her left hand to show May the newly placed ring on her finger.

They have placeholder seats in the ceremony, for everyone who’s not there, who would’ve been there. Who should’ve been there. Everyone lost isn’t forgotten and it’s as heartwarming as it is sad.

He goes back to May’s the night before the wedding out of superstition and tradition. She wakes him up pretty early and he complains until he realises what day it is. He shares a soft phone call with MJ as soon as he’s awake enough to hold a conversation, but May has no idea what’s being said, as she goes to the kitchen, wanting to give them both privacy.

She makes sure to tell Peter how proud she is of him when she’s helping him tie his tie like he’s back in high school and getting ready for Homecoming.

When he sees MJ walk down the aisle, they both look at each other like they’re being given the entire world.

Peter speaks first, nervously taking cue cards out of his pocket and saying: “MJ, I know that you hate clichés and corny lines, so I’m not going to use any. Instead, I’m just going to make a bunch of promises. I promise to support you and stand by your side, to have your back in the way that you always have mine. I promise to always be there to make you smile when you’re sad. I promise to watch scary horror movies with you, even if they really scare me. I promise not to spoil endings of things. I promise to love you forever.”

An already tearful MJ follows him with: “Peter, a long time ago, I told you that I don’t have much luck when it comes to getting close to people. But that’s not been true for a long time, thanks to you. Sorry to use clichés my vows after you cut them out of yours, but I feel so damn lucky to be marrying my best friend. I promise to stand by you and fight for you even when you’re being really stupid, I promise to support all of your nerdy stuff and most of all, I promise to always love you, dork”

May thinks back on everything her boy has suffered through, everything that has been put upon him for so long. Seeing him brimming with joy, gazing lovingly at his wife, surrounded by everyone who loves and supports them both, she bursts into tears herself.

It’s one of the happiest days of her life .It’s only matched by her both of her wedding days and the days that Benjamin Anthony Parker-Jones and Taylor-May Parker-Jones are born.

[lady-literature]

Literal Angel Langa Hasegawa

okay but like here me out: Guardian Angel Langa who is so bad at being a Guardian Angel. Mostly due to not having a lot of practice, admittedly, but also cause he’s Just Like That.

It basically goes down like this:

Masae does not remember the last time her son had a friend, a good one--or perhaps she does. Maybe she remembers how he was Before and so maybe she sees how dim his smile is now. Brighter than others, perhaps, but practically a candle flicker where there was once a forest fire.

Her son is a happy child, is a vibrant child, but all that means is it is harder for others to see when he suffers, when he hurts.

Her Reki is lonely.

And it seems to get worse every year that passes. Unable to connect, unable to find others who are like him.

Masae is not a religious woman, she doesn’t often put faith in superstitions or urban myths, but as she cleans up after dinner one night, a shooting star passes by the window and Masae wishes.

(There is something powerful about belief. But lacking that, as Masae does, there is something powerful about the desperation of a mother.)

Three days later, Langa, angel of the falling snow and mountain air, is given a new charge. His second charge ever, to be exact. He isn’t told why he’s been assigned to Reki, and he doesn’t ask. If it was important to his job, he figures he’d have been told, right?

Most Guardian angels don’t immediately reveal themselves to their charges, but Langa’s never really been much like ‘most angels’ he supposes. And Reki takes it pretty well, he thinks.

After he stops freaking out and screaming, he seems intrigued by Langa and his… everything. He asks a thousand questions, or, at least, he starts to. Reki gets as far as asking about halos and powers and ‘wait does that mean God’s real too?’ before getting caught up on all the things Langa has never done before. Such things include: eating a bento box, going swimming, going to school, skateboarding-

The last one, of course, is reminded immediately.

The moment Langa steps on the board, it’s like he can feel Reki’s passion for it thrumming there next to his grace, bright and exhilarating and new. If Langa had a heartbeat, he thinks it’d be thundering in his chest.

The moment lasts a whole two seconds before Langa, all stiff angles and unbending form, makes the skateboard shoot out from under his feet and sends himself flat on his ass.

But the spark has been lit, and Langa wants more.

From there I think the AU would follow canon with Reki dragging Langa to S for a job (that he still fucks up) and Langa skates using his Snowboarding Skills (and this is where we’d learn that Langa’s first charge was Oliver, roughly fifty years ago, who taught Langa snowboarding and was practically a father figure and who’s death crushed Langa). Other things happen like in canon, but Mostly, it’s about Reki teaching Langa all these human things and the two becoming friends even if that wasn’t the goal.

(Or, at least, not what they thought was the goal.)

Other headcanons I have for this that are less coherent than the above and thus are placed in bullet points:

Langa’s grace is cold like snow, like winter mountains, like frozen ponds. His hands are freezing and often, Reki complains about how cold he is.

Langa jumps high in the air and does so many flips because gravity doesn’t pull at him the way it should. He exists outside of it, and when he is up there, seemingly miles above the ground, Reki is reminded that his best friend is not human, is not even close. Langa is divine and holy and brighter than the stars and snow in sunlight.

To even stand at his side, to watch him as he skates, as he exists on Earth, Reki is blessed.

Langa, often, forgets to be squishy and human. His grace turns him to stone, to marble, to an unmovable object that could stand against anything but the full might of God.

(But Reki is his unstoppable force. Reki reaches for him, throws himself at him and tugs him places. Reki moves him, even when he hadn’t thought to be moved, and something in Langa wonders about that, wonders how this boy with a smile like sunshine melts his granite flesh into fragile human skin.)

Excerpt: Reki likes to direct with touch, and the more Langa lets him, the handsier he gets.

I'm thinkin I make Miya a minor trickster spirit

Ala actual Japanese folklore

Possibly a kitsune? Not sure why he’d be skating but you can bet it’s for something mischievious

Miya still meets Langa because ADAM told him to, but basically walking into the shop stops Miya dead in his tracks and turns him and Langa into the spiderman meme of just pointing at each other

The first time ADAM calls Langa Eve, everything clicks in his mind and Langa starts laughing cause like,,,,,, he’s met Adam and Eve, and woo boy. Sir, we do not have the time to get into how all of what you said is bullshit

Somewhere towards the ‘end’ or whateves, when Langa is feeling more human than angel, he starts kind of mentally comparing Reki to The Apple. Reki is Langa’s Temptation and all that other stuff. (it’s a lot of imagery things and flowery words but trust me, it’d would punch you in the fucking chest)

Every moment Langa spends in his presence, the further he falls from his place in the heavens. For what could be better than this? He had been in heaven for eternity, and never has it felt like this, never has Langa loved like this.

No one told Langa that humanity felt so free, so infinite. And certainly no one told him he could find it in an Okinawa boy with hair like fire and a smile like everything Langa wants.

The Reki Angst is shifted just a bit in that Reki is standing next to these beings that are more than he could ever be (his best friend is a literal angel, I mean, how is he supposed to compete with that??) and he just feels…. small. Unremarkable. They’re all amazing and brilliant and he’s just,,, human. What can he even offer them? These beings who existed long before he did and who will exist long after him?

Reki tells Langa that he and him just aren’t a good match anymore except it hits so much worse because Langa was chosen for Reki and Langa is just like: “Do you… do you want someone else?” (Do you not want me anymore?)

But of course Reki doesn’t want a new angel and basically is like: “No! I don’t- why do you care so much? I’m just some person. You’re an angel! Someone who saw the beginning of the world and I don’t- why do you care about me? Don’t you get it? Heaven was wrong. I’m not important and I’m not going to be!”

And Langa, this poor baby boy, just stares at him and says: “You’re important to me.”