#their divorce would suck so bad. millions dead or something but they can still suck each other off I MEAN DRY…right… | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

oneweekoneband · 4 years

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her Nebraska (1982)

In July I flew to Massachusetts with a plague on, and I felt that it was wrong, but my mother had begged and I’d been out of work for months. Mornings there I ran in long, uneven ovals on the same roads I’d memorized in high school. There’s no sidewalks, but the few feet of dirt between the craggy pavement and the open mouths of the fields serve all right for a single body in motion. When a truck comes up close from behind, the ground shakes, and I step away bouncingly from the street toward thigh-high yellow weeds and grass, and keep going. I was slowly picking my way back in that dirt, sweat-slick from only a plodding couple of miles in peak summer heat, and sucking the wet cotton of my mask in between my teeth on every inhale, when Taylor Swift announced she was releasing a surprise album produced by the guy from The National. Not the guy from The National, like, the voice, but the guy from The National whose photo was circulated on Twitter earlier this year as some kind of antifa super soldier, which isn’t the case, but would’ve been rad. First, I stopped dead to send some outraged, misspelled text messages, and then I ran home faster than I’d moved in years.

Tall, blonde, patrician pop star Taylor Swift is to me something like a cross-between a wife and a boogeyman. Bound we’ve been since we were really children. Time and its changes haven’t rid me of her, and what’s worse is I have never quite been able to wish they would, though I claim as much all the time. Countless hours of my one wild and precious life have been spent on endlessly analyzing the minutiae of Taylor Swift’s music, the mind that made it, the real world events which influenced it. And though all the while I have known she is only a person, and that people, while each strange and lovely in their own ways, are, in the end, mostly dull, needful in just the regular manner, the fantasy is better, the sick dream of a megalomaniac songstress, curious, thrilling, probably evil, and I choose that. I don’t know Taylor Alison Swift, born to this world in, I presume, the usual way. But my Taylor Swift? I’m a renowned expert. I’ve always eaten up stories—movies, music, celebrity news, the one my grandfather tells about falling off his bike once in Ireland as a boy and his face “cracking open like an egg”—like a starved dog. I’m obsessive about my interests, but not inclined to intense fandom, and certainly not fandom in the mode of the stan. For one, I’m too self-absorbed. But caring intensely for a famous person is falling in love with a ghost, and that’s all right—I mean, what the hell? We’re here together just dying... Let’s enjoy—but is an affair best undertaken with the knowledge that everyone alive has their own complex interiority, as unruly as your own, and that you, a stranger, are not in any real way connected to the lawless, blurry middle of that celebrity, and will never be. It’s freeing and fun to know this. I mean, these people are basically in your employ. Glamorous dollhouse dwellers. Acknowledging that uncrossable distance allows for a different, healthier closeness of pure imagination. My feelings, then, can comfortably be at once both fiercely intense and entirely silly. I am a foremost scholar in the art of the Taylor Swift who exists in my head. The real person raised in Pennsylvania I don’t know at all. I have some conjectures on the matter, and, as with all my conjectures, every hackneyed theory, each picky little opinion, I’m sure they’re perfect, brilliant, just absolutely right, but that’s still all they are. Taylor Swift, figure of the cultural imagination, is the Jodie Comer to my Sandra Oh in Killing Eve, annoying and pretty in frills, taunting me endlessly and holding us trapped together in a dance of most enchanting death. But the real Taylor Swift has favorite bed sheets and a social security number and a British boyfriend, none of which I have any desire to know about, and if I saw her at a restaurant I’d politely avert my eyes before, yes, dive-bombing the group text. There’s nobody on Earth I’d stand in line to speak to, but then I’ve been speaking to a certain figment of Taylor Swift for nearly half my life.

I went to a Taylor Swift concert the night before I moved into college in 2009. My father’s work friend, firefighter by day, near professional gambler by night, got comped tickets to the Fearless Tour stop taking place at the nearby casino, and he let me have them as a reward, mainly, for happening to be seventeen. Live in-person and performed acoustically, “Fifteen” made me cry. A few years after that, in the thick, sticky part of my first post-college summer, I wrote approximately twenty-three million words about her in these very pages. (”Pages”) At that point, Taylor’s most recent release was 2012’s Red, and the work I produced that long ago July about Taylor and her career, writing I was fairly pleased with at the time, feels now, besides just being extremely clearly written by a twenty-one year old, strange to me for the way it favors the sweet over the sour almost uniformly. There is a wholesome kind of ardor in that writing which maybe I’ve outgrown the ability to hold. Or maybe Taylor just proceeded to spend the next half a decade plus releasing one bad single after another, and it was taste—and trespasses against taste—and not some shift in my nature which altered the tenor of our bond. I have real love for my particular image, gleaned from public statements and published art, of smart, bizarre famous woman Taylor Swift, and I admire the bulk of her output very much. I’m just no longer so inclined to fawn. This is not to say I am here to offer a Taylor Swift hate screed. I couldn’t swing it, and, anyway, I’m not a pop feminist-for-hire circa 2010. But we’re older now. Things are different. At twenty-eight, twenty-nine this month—Taylor will, also this December, turn thirty-one—I regard Taylor Swift warily, like an ex with whom you have a tentative friendship, perpetually on the brink of falling one way or the other into hatred or delight, only to wobble back the opposite direction again at the slightest provocation, but still, despite best efforts, even, I regard her all the time.

folklore was released at midnight on July 24th 2020, but I was at a cabin in rural Vermont without Internet or cell service. I drank Bud Light seltzers with my mother while watching the eerie pandemic return of Major League Baseball, and when I got into a strange bed there I stewed, knowing there were people out in the world all over who were hearing Taylor Swift songs I never had, and that this was a fundamental wrong, a disruption in the balance of the universe. I listened to it the next morning in a Dunkin’ Donuts parking lot.

And folklore is great. That’s the terrible thing. Slightly less great, maybe, than some people have insisted, tricked, I think, by just the pronounced shift in sound. But it’s great. A little gift I asked for a thousand times and was still surprised to get, like a wife who didn’t expect her henpecked husband to ever follow through and buy the paraffin wax hand bath as-see-on-TV. For years, I’ve been halfheartedly insisting that Taylor had a great album in her. I’d say it even, perhaps especially, while she stubbornly fed me gruel. Or worse, gruel with the occasional whiff of something better. With a ripe, little raspberry dropped into the slop. The bright, villainous thrill of “Getaway Car” made me believe Taylor, my Taylor, was in there somewhere under the lacquer of sequins and synth, which, while not objectionable by default, seemed a costume, and an ill-fitting one. The lived-in world of “Cornelia Street” made those old scars sting. That gay “Delicate” video. When she did “Call It What You Want” on SNL and played guitar while wearing an ugly sweater. If the abominable “ME!”, lead single off Lover, was the stick, 1989’s “Clean” was the carrot. I was Charlie Brown, and Taylor my Lucy, yanking the football back again and again. Over drinks I still yelled that Taylor Swift’s next album would be, “her Nebraska”, referring to my favorite Bruce Springsteen record, and learned to live with that egg on my face for good. I suppose I even came to like it. There was something inherently funny in taking up, like, “blind faith in the as of yet untapped greater artistic potential of massively wealthy and popular singer Taylor Swift” as my totally inane personal cause du jour, and eventually it was a bit, a gag I performed to be obstinate and didactic, but way down somewhere awful near my kidneys I meant it the whole while. And then she did it. A pandemic befell the world and amid a sea of human suffering Taylor Swift remembered she can write. She wrote, and with a massive, crucial assist from Aaron Dessner, whose music on this record is sometimes so beautiful it actually angers me, as the last thing I needed in already perilous times was to be made to try and marry my uniquely perverse emotional responses to beloved divorced dad band The National and fucking Taylor Swift, she made an album which, if not her Nebraska, per se (I’ve come to realize that a major part of believing Taylor Swift will one day make an album I find as quietly devastating and gorgeous as Nebraska is knowing that no album will ever actually be Her Nebraska... That each will, rather, to me, be more and more evidence that it’s coming still, more proof that the limit is untouched, on and on ad infinitum, or at least until the seas take us into a place of salty peace.) is a shocking credit to all my hard-fought and deluded confidence. folklore is great. This fact has made me feel almost equally as disoriented from my understanding of the world as the time-melting COVID-19 lockdowns have, and it turned my Spotify year in review annual collective AI humiliation kink thing into a glaring indictment of my mental state, but still, I mean... It’s great.

In talking about folklore a bit this week, there are a number of specific topics I intend to cover—what a thrill it is to hear Taylor say “fuck”; Taylor’s terrifying birth chart; the astoundingly perfect bridge of “the last great american dynasty”; “because my ass is located at the back of my body”; the bit in last year’s “Lover” where deranged WASP Taylor Swift implies that to “leave the Christmas lights up til January” is some signifier of being a love-struck bohemian, when actually everyone who doesn’t employ domestic staff to take their lights down does this; how reputation is the best of the Taylor Swift records released in the latter half of the 2010s, actually, and the people who can’t see that are cowards—but intend mostly to let the muse move me where she will. Against the advice of my better angels, she—that tie-in marketing eldritch terror—always does.

#taylor swift #folklore

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iraprince · 4 years

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I really admire you. You've been able to be NB and come out as a lesbian and I'm really happy for you, because if I were to do that I would lose the only 3 people I have in my life (parents and husband). I should have never pushed my friends away, because now I'm just trapped and lonely. Please dont fuck up as bad as I do and live a lie. Sorry if I'm creeping you out of bumming you out.

i can’t feel comfortable giving you firm advice one way or another bc i don’t know all your circumstances. only you can decide what to do in the end. but i can tell you that even tho i’m only 26 i’ve already completely overthrown my life and “started over” four times (dropping out of school without anywhere to live, breaking a lease/quitting my job and moving abruptly to a different state with zero notice, quitting another very stable job and moving again to do art full time without really knowing it would work out, and now leaving everything behind and moving to spain.)

obviously these circumstances are not the same as yours and one of them has been intensely joyful. i still had a support system through these changes, even though sometimes it was sparse and thin, and of the friends i had in the beginning, only a few of them are still with me now. but a lot of this felt like the end of the world, and through the first three i had people (including my own inner critic) telling me i was throwing everything away/ruining my life, and in the end because of all of it i’m living the way i want to. i’ve brought myself a lot of happiness with seemingly reckless choices.

you only get one life and the only time it’s “too late” is when you’re dead. if you were a friend of mine i would be heartbroken to think you were resigned to this forever. but at the same time i understand that this is so much easier said than done and i don’t know the underlying framework of this, i don’t know the millions of reasons why it could be impossible for you to act on these feelings, on top of the already really painful difficulty of u not having a support system. and i can’t know how i would be feeling rn if any of the drastic life changes i’d made hadn’t worked out. so my advice isn’t like.... “yeah just do it babe go for it why not!!!! divorce partyyy!!!!” bc thats not how life works.

what i can say is just. i hope you can think about the fact that new friends can be made, or sometimes old friends reconnect, and your happiness is something that only you can take care of. there are times where the changes i made WEREN’T working out, in ways i really don’t want to go into detail abt lol, but in the end i bounced back. humanity is resilient and i think you may not be crediting yourself for the resilience and resourcefulness and courage you potentially have.

and for what it’s worth? when i broke that lease and moved away it was because i realized i was gay and i was living with a man. it was really awful, it was hard, it turned a lot of people against me. the next few years sucked. but i wake up next to my wife every day now and i think i did alright for myself.

#i also did still pay rent after that move so double oof

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onisiondrama · 5 years

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Wow ok lots of new videos today. He’s still uploading. I’ll do the summaries in parts.

PART 1 - Videos #0 - #2

don’t watch

- Attempt at comedic video game commentary

hey

- Everyone told him not to respond to recent drama. He used to always respond. Taking other people’s advice has been the worst for him. - He talked to Tobuscus about how he was accused of a horrible crime. Tobuscus went silent because everyone told him to and it didn’t go well for him. He was canceled until Greg talked to him and told him to defend himself. He did and he prevailed. - If you don’t hear both sides of a story you shouldn’t have an opinion. - He thinks he broke records about how many people hate him on Youtube. - He stayed silent because people he cares about told him to, but things are getting worse so it’s time he tells us what happened in the coming videos. - Shiloh: He called the police on her when she said she was going to kill herself and make it look like he did it. This is the second time he called the police on her. First time she said he was being abusive. He says he wanted to be alone and locked himself in a room and she started body slamming herself against the door. He says this is all documented in his old videos, Shiloh body slamming the door and him calling the cops to prove he’s not abusive. - Another ex of Shiloh’s made a video and said she did the same thing to him, but he ended up going to jail. Allegedly when he went in front of a judge they found a text from Shiloh talking about how she plotted to pin someone down for abuse. -He said it’s not his responsibility to look all this up. It’s up to us to look at all the videos and confirm it ourselves. (lol what ??) Says he doesn’t want to make a docuseries about his exes because he dumped them for a reason. - Shiloh started a gofundme. (he doesn’t finish this thought) - She’s been diagnosed with severe stuff. Guesses she has BPD or is a pathological liar. Says she was taken into custody by the police and put in a medical facility and the officer told him to escape because evicting her would take too long. He went to LA. While he was going she called and asked where he was. She said an alleged gang she was in was sending people after him. He was scared and made youtube videos about it. - Says she lied about someone that was training her knocking her out and that person said it didn’t happen. Says she told him she has a split personality named Aliana. Aliana told him she existed to protect him. - Says she told him they were soulmates and they were chosen for something supernatural. He fell for it. - He left Skye. She originally agreed to $12,000 a year to help her survive. Six months before she said she wanted half of his stuff if they divorce and he said that’s why he wanted a prenup. When he asked her for one she cried so he didn’t go through with it. Says now we know why she cried. - She pursued him in court. She said she was under duress when the original agreement was made but he says that made no sense because she made her own terms. She then pursued him for $250,000 and he settled for $90,000 because he was afraid she was going to try to claim his channels. That sucks because they both spent tens of thousands on lawyers when they could have handle it out of court. She decided to burn that bridge. - He left Skye for Shiloh. He doesn't think he lied about that before, but he doesn’t remember and might have felt differently back then. The biggest reason he left Skye was Shiloh. She made him feel like his life had more meaning and was amazing. He felt intoxicated by her. They had an amazing love life, passionate interactions, she was so talented and funny. Says the next video will be about Shiloh too.

- One of the pathological lies he had to endure during his relationship with Shiloh was she faked an accident the moment they met. She said she was going with another Canadian artist to an event and got into a car accident on their way back. He said he talked about this in his song “Her Lies”, a music video he dedicated to how many times she lied. - Says she cheated on him and got pregnant with someone else’s baby. He found out through Facebook. Says her story was she went back to Canada because she had free medical care there and had a dead 6 week old miscarriage allegedly going on inside her body. He says he said allegedly because he didn’t know what to believe in that relationship. When you find out someone was collecting money from you while cheating on you, what in that relationship was real? - People don’t remember how Shiloh was because they have short memories. Back in the day his audience begged him to leave her. He left her 7 out of the 8 times they broke up. There was so much instability. - He says she tried to shame him and manipulate him into dating her again by saying she was going to end her life once after a break up. She walked off with a suitcase and he let her go because he couldn’t stop her. He video taped himself crying when she was gone. He says deep down he thinks he did that because he wanted people to know where he was when she was doing that. He was so overwhelmed emotionally and couldn't do anything but freeze. He says there’s a clip of him crying out there while she walks off. At that point you just want that person to leave you alone. She came back with a little branch on her shoulder. She would do a thing where she would be in a mood and would go somewhere else. Says she told him she tried to hang herself but the branch snapped. He said he said he was glad she was alive, but there was no rope mark. - When she faked the car accident she used makeup on her forehead. He asked her about it and she said “it hurts so bad” and showed him her forehead, but she didn’t want to see a medical professional. It was magically healed in couple days when he asked about it. He was saying “wow it healed so fast” and didn’t even think he was being lied to. He wasn’t used to being lied to. - Says Skye didn’t lie to him much other than her saying she loved him. He doubts she ever loved him. When you cry when someone asks for a prenup, it says you’re only interested in someone for their assets. A prenup says it’s about love, not about all the stuff we have. Sounds like she was crying about the stuff. Some people perceive it as she was crying because she thought he was doubting the relationship. Says he could see where they are coming from, but that’s not what he was doing. He was disturbed by the crying. Obviously he was right because she tried to take him for a quarter million. Says he wasn’t well off, he was making $12,000, but Youtube is inconsistent so he didn’t want to shell out a lot of cash. Says he might not make enough to keep paying her $6,000 a month. Payed her six years of alimony, so a full grown adult can have financial assistance from him. When it was over she decided to publicly lash out at him. - Shiloh decided to reach out to Kai a couple times. Kai did not appreciate that. - Shiloh said their relationship was like an Adele song, if they split up she would show up at his doorstep, even if he was moved on with another person because that’s how much she loved him. When they would break up or discuss their relationship she would tell him no one will love you as much as I do. - There’s a video circulating around where you can hear him trolling the internet in the background. He was totally shook when this video popped up because he didn’t remember it. They did a prank where he walked in on her in the shower with a go pro. There was another prank where they pretended to go through a drive thru but no one was on the other side of the call. There was one on her channel where he said mean things to her. He says at the time people liked the video because they understood the joke, but now people want to use it as a sign that something crazy was going on. - The only reason she broke up with him was because he looked at hentai and she was a jealous person and it was a threat to her. As a result he got “remember love” tattoo on his wrists. Says we might remember someone asking someone to get a tattoo. Says that was rooted in his subconscious because he did it himself [hold up tattoos], got a tattoo so someone in Canada would take him back. Remember love means to be a good person. - When Shiloh miscarried in Canada, she said she had sepsis, but he questions if she had it because you normally die if you have it.He believed it at the time when she told him. He made a video announcing her sepsis and people yelled at him. - When she went back she told him she needed rent money until she could get a passport. He talked to her uncle over the phone and he said she was full of it and she didn’t lose her passport. He says he made a sketch about that. - Finds out she’s publicly talking to a guy on facebook and he talked about making love to her and she would says she loved him. He says it’s ironic because he just made a music video about having sex with someone’s girlfriend. Says he was thinking it would be ironic if she was cheating on him while he made the video. Says she liked the video, guesses she was amused by it. She would pick up the money he sent her with the guy she was cheating with. - Says he heard the baby she had with this guy “didn’t go on living”. He says doesn’t know what happened, but someone told him it was a stillborn or SIDS. Says no one should be making video titles or making money off that. Says if she went through that he’s sorry. - Says Shiloh walked down the road and layed on the cement. The fire department dropped her off at his house. He says the fire department was weirded out by her pretending to be whatever on the side of the road. -She fake a seizure and memory loss and her uncle laughed at him for thinking it was real. She faked going back in time, reverting her age. He says it was her idea to post the seizure video because he told her either he can work on another video that night or he couple post it as education on mental disorders. He didn’t take it too seriously as a medical emergency because she already had previous episodes. Says she magically popped up and snapped out of it one time during one of these episodes when he said he was going to call an ambulance. - He was on the phone with his mom and aunt when she threatened to end her life and made it look like he did it. He called the police and filmed it. Says she once wrapped her arms around him and told him to hit her. -He giggled nervously and didn’t know what to do. -Said he’ll continue this in the next video.

(Pretty convenient he keeps stopping these videos after he hits the 10 minute mark even though the videos are not distinct different subjects and he’s filming them back to back.)

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f4liveblogarchives · 4 years

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Fantastic Four Vol 1 #187, #188, & #189

Thur Aug 22 2019 [02:04 PM] Bocaj: 187 issues later, still fantastic but not necessarily still four [02:05 PM] Wack'd: Eh, they're still pretty Fourish [02:05 PM] Wack'd: Unless you count Franklin I guess [02:05 PM] Wack'd: Sure, Thundra, Greer, and Impy have been around a lot lately, but Greer insists she's not part of the team and Thundra and Impy don't really play well with others [02:06 PM] maxwellelvis: Also, Impossible Man's been KO'd by an unseen assailant. [02:06 PM] Wack'd: Also true [02:07 PM] Wack'd: Anyway, on the plane ride back from New Salem, the team recaps a little [02:07 PM] Wack'd: Agatha left that place in the hopes that others have her kind would be encouraged to join her, and she blames herself for raising Nicholas badly [02:07 PM] Wack'd: These are, again, the kind of details it might've been nice to have during the actual story so we could wring something out of them [02:08 PM] Bocaj: "Thundra and Impy don't really play well with others" I posit that Johnny and Ben historically haven't always played well with others [02:09 PM] Bocaj: Sometimes a family is that cat woman stray you adopted, the woman from an alternate universe where men are considered the weaker gender until you slammed her universe into another, and that annoying alien [02:09 PM] Bocaj: We'll call him the 'urkel' type [02:09 PM] Wack'd: Let me rephrase that to "are openly contemptuous of others and seem hesitant to do even the bare minimum to lend aid" [02:09 PM] maxwellelvis: Yeah, but in a different way from Impossible Man, who literally nobody except other Popuppians can stand to be around. [02:09 PM] Bocaj: Ok well thats different [02:10 PM] Wack'd: The Four discover Impy, knocked out but apparently unharmed. Sue worries that whoever did this might still be in the Baxter [02:11 PM] Wack'd: We can also add to George Pérez to the long list of comics artists who are bad at drawing children but very good at drawing tiny adults

[02:12 PM] Bocaj: George Pérez can draw a lot of things, in terms of range and also in terms of numerical things on a page but children are black magic that eludes him [02:13 PM] Aleph Null: i relate because children are also black magic that eludes me [02:13 PM] Wack'd: So Johnny flies outside to look in all the windows while Ben decides to go floor by floor. Reed is out out because they made a plan without him and Sue has to heal his fragile ego [02:13 PM] Wack'd: “Without my stretching powers, I'm not really good enough to be anything more than a nursemaid!” [02:13 PM] Bocaj: fuck off reed [02:14 PM] Aleph Null: can we retitle the blog to “fuck off reed” [02:14 PM] Wack'd: This is a nice moment

[02:15 PM] Wack'd: Honestly I like how forgiving everyone is being of Agatha. Not that anyone on this team has room to throw stones [02:16 PM] Wack'd: Oh my god Johnny is also like "man, running off on my own like I always do probably hurt Reed's feelings" [02:16 PM] Wack'd: Anyway Ben runs into KLAW! [02:17 PM] Bocaj: Ulysses Klaue Klaw? [02:17 PM] Wack'd: Whose shtick at this point is still being made of sound and also being able to fire sound monsters at people [02:17 PM] Wack'd: And not, you know, having a claw [02:17 PM] maxwellelvis: His artificial hand is his claw. [02:19 PM] Wack'd: Oh hey it's this guy

[02:19 PM] Bocaj: oh thats a bad look [02:20 PM] maxwellelvis: Actually that's not that guy. That's a different guy. [02:20 PM] Wack'd: Back in #20 he got the ability to alter non-organic matter because he was exposed to an atomic incident [02:20 PM] Wack'd: Since then he's had a couple of appearances in the 70s, one in Two in One and one in Iron Man [02:20 PM] Bocaj: The guy I knew as Molecule Man is a multiversal bomb [02:21 PM] maxwellelvis: Wait, I saw that guy shrivel up and disintegrate when separated from his wand for too long. [02:22 PM] Wack'd: Yes [02:22 PM] Wack'd: This got undone in the Iron Man appearance I mentioned [02:22 PM] maxwellelvis: oh [02:22 PM] Wack'd: Where he also gained the ability to possess people [02:23 PM] Bocaj: There was a shitty Avengers Assemble episode about Son of Molecule Man [02:23 PM] Bocaj: It had a stylistic flashback to EMH [02:23 PM] Wack'd: Given how fucking often these books are like "oh, they killed him, he's gone for real" and then in a completely different book he comes back to life and then he returns to his original book with a long winded explanation... [02:23 PM] Wack'd: I'm not sure why you would've assumed that he was actually dead [02:24 PM] maxwellelvis: Because this time he left behind a body. [02:24 PM] Wack'd: That doesn't mean anything! [02:24 PM] maxwellelvis: Well, a pile of dust in a ragged old Molecule Man costume. [02:24 PM] Wack'd: At the end of his first appearance the Watcher aged him into oblivion [02:26 PM] Wack'd: Agatha filling the role of "lady who tells Reed to suck it the fuck up" now that Medusa's gone

[02:28 PM] Wack'd: Anyway Ben gets turned into glass, Johnny is drowned in midair, Sue is...uh...

[02:28 PM] Wack'd: Sure, that's how that works [02:29 PM] Wack'd: And Reed tries to fire on the two but his gun is turned to helium and he's knocked out [02:30 PM] Wack'd: Okay so uh [02:31 PM] Wack'd: In the aftermath of that Iron Man I mentioned, Klaw found Owen's wand, with Owen's mind trapped inside, and gave it to a guy he met on the street so Owen would possess that guy [02:31 PM] Wack'd: The narrative notes that the guy was a boxer so I should probably also note that the guy was a boxer in case it becomes relevant [02:33 PM] Wack'd: So! The Four are incapacitated! Who cam save them now! [02:33 PM] Wack'd: Why, Impossible Man, of course. Not because he cares about the team, but because he's angry that someone defeated him in combat [02:34 PM] Wack'd: Impy can shapeshift so Molecule Man can't really do much to him [02:34 PM] Wack'd: And Impy removes his ears and makes himself into a non-sound-conductive material so he's immune to Klaw [02:34 PM] Wack'd: And then he kicks their asses [02:35 PM] Wack'd: Owen had been planning on using Reed's psi-amplifier (from that time Ben and Hulk switched brains) to make it so he could keep his ass in this body forever [02:35 PM] Wack'd: But Reed manages to cut the cord mid-process, sapping Owen back into his wand [02:36 PM] Wack'd: And undoing all the damage he caused [02:36 PM] Wack'd: AND THEN REED PICKS UP THE WAND WITH HIS BARE HANDS, LIKE AN IDIOT [02:37 PM] Wack'd: W E L P

[02:38 PM] Bocaj: Basically Lunella becoming Smartest was long overdue because Reed is dumb [02:38 PM] Bocaj: Someone needed to explicitly be smarter than him or else it would be very sad [02:39 PM] Wack'd: Don't think it's escaped my attention that this is our second evil Reed storyline in which Reed isn't actually evil [02:39 PM] Bocaj: Hm [02:40 PM] Bocaj: At least it’s not an evil Sue storyline [02:40 PM] Bocaj: Those are bad in many many ways [02:40 PM] Wack'd: If Gerry Conway's read on the Reed/Sue divorce arc was "if they're going to split up it should be because Reed does something truly ghastly", it seems like Wein's was "people seem to really want to make Reed a jerk, so how do I do that without altering the fact that he's genuinely a nice person" [02:42 PM] Wack'd: I loathed Conway's take, but Wein's is even worse because it denies the idea that Reed has anything to be culpable for. It seems like people have been shilling him constantly recently--Sue noticing Counter-Reed is unaffectionate to spot the ruse, Ben assuming Counter-Reed is obsessively watching the Negative Zone because he wants to save his counterpart, Counter-Reed immediately becoming a selfless paragon when his headache wears off [02:43 PM] Wack'd: And this issue, too, with everyone but Agatha assuming Reed is entitled to authority and feeling bad for hurting his feelings by doing their own things [02:44 PM] Wack'd: Maybe I'm being uncharitable because he's the cripple-the-b**** guy, but it does really seem like he sees nothing wrong with Reed's normal pattern of behavior and is mildly baffled anyone would. Which would fit well with his aesthetic of overwhelming nostalgia [02:45 PM] Wack'd: Anyway

Thur Aug 22 2019 [02:46 PM] Wack'd: So Reed's brain is trapped in Owen's wand now [02:47 PM] Wack'd: Ben destroys the Psi-Amplifier so Owen can't take over Reed's body permanently [02:47 PM] Wack'd: Owen, in retaliation, traps Sue, Johnny, Ben and Impy in an adimantium cube [02:48 PM] Wack'd: While he goes to blow off some adimantium rage [02:48 PM] maxwellelvis: Spider-Man and Venom ~ Maximum Carnage (Genesis) - Main Theme [02:49 PM] Wack'd: Johnny uses his heat to expand the air in the box, forcing it open, but it takes basically everything he's got [02:49 PM] Wack'd: You would think everybody in that box would die a million times of heat stroke but I guess not [02:50 PM] maxwellelvis: I was about to question the presence of Adamantium in an FF story, then I remembered that A. it's past 1975 now so Wolverine is a thing, and B. Len Wein is one of Wolverine's co-creators. [02:50 PM] maxwellelvis: And I think he first coined "Adamantium" to describe what his claws are made of. [02:51 PM] Wack'd: Watcher has gone from a white Grey to a fat bald guy to a Tor Johnson character

[02:53 PM] Wack'd: Watcher is still not talking, which Ben takes as a sign of apathy [02:53 PM] Wack'd: "Why don't you go to sell tickets to a funeral," he asks [02:54 PM] Wack'd: Ah yes, my favorite Tom Hanks movie

[02:55 PM] maxwellelvis: "You should make'em bugs!" [02:58 PM] Wack'd: Credit where it's due, I think this is genuinely the coolest monster design we've had in a while! You can see some remnants of the Kirby aping that still, in 1977, has not worn off, but it feels novel applied to brick and mortar, and I love the arrangements of the windows and the way the structures on the roof jut out of it's shoulders

[02:59 PM] Wack'd: Reed agrees to stop resisting, and the building returns to normal [02:59 PM] Wack'd: And then his friends show up and Reed starts resisting again [03:00 PM] Wack'd: Thanks to that resistance, Owen can't do anything to our heroes directly, and has to settle for transforming their surroundings [03:00 PM] Wack'd: This would be a lot simpler if they just kept the "no organic matter" limit from his first appearance [03:01 PM] maxwellelvis: Blame Steve Gerber, I guess. [03:01 PM] Wack'd: Impy tries to hit Owen with a giant mallet but Sue stops him because she doesn't want to hurt Reed [03:02 PM] Wack'd: Impy takes it well

[03:05 PM] Wack'd: Unfortunately, Reed's body gets knocked out anyway [03:06 PM] Wack'd: But while this renders the Reed inside of Owen's wand unconscious, it sends Owen into spasms of pain [03:06 PM] Wack'd: Causing him to release his grip on the wand, dropping it into a nearby factory furnace [03:07 PM] Wack'd: And so normalcy is restored--OR IS IT?! [03:07 PM] Wack'd: Reed's decided to resign from the Four [03:07 PM] Wack'd: And Sue's going to join him because "I already deserted my husband once, I'm not going to do it again" [03:07 PM] Wack'd: *sigh* [03:08 PM] Bocaj: 😐

Thur Aug 22 2019 [03:10 PM] Wack'd: FANTASTIC FOUR VOL 1 #189 [03:10 PM] Wack'd: Is a reprint of Annual ’66 [03:10 PM] Wack'd: Moving on [03:10 PM] Wack'd: As if there weren't enough reasons to hate Wein, it certainly seems like a lot of issues get delayed while he's around [03:11 PM] Wack'd: This is the second in less than ten issues [03:11 PM] maxwellelvis: That might explain why Chris Claremont took over Uncanny X-Men almost immediately after Wein revived it

#1977 #Len Wein #George Pérez #The Main Book

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embracetheapocalypsewithme · 7 years

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Cursed Land, Part 3: The Call of the Void

This is part 3 of @ladylorelitanyfanfiction‘s Monster Mash Challenge! I’m thinking that Part 4 will finish off the tale. :)

Part 1: The Black Box

Part 2: September

Part 4: The Abyss

Summary: The entries continue and so do the revelations about Negan’s time in Falling Creek. Alan reveals more about what he fears and the sinister writing in Negan’s journal.

Word Count: 2,786

Warnings: Language, horror, paranormal shit, and death.

Part 3: The Call of the Void

Rebecca looked up from the pages of the October 1st entry, her gaze re-focusing in the dim light of the lamp by which she read. She could feel the sting of tears in her eyes, though she knew they were not tears of sadness. It was fear that she was gripped by as she leaned away from the notebook; some kind of primal, inexpressible fear which caused her eyes to well up and her stomach to turn.

Her gaze floated to the edge of the forest that ended several feet from the Sanctuary’s protective fence. She imagined being in Falling Creek with Negan and his first group of survivors, with the trees encircling their only haven from the horrors that were taking place on the streets of every city and town . Keeping one another safe as the dead rose and began to consume the world. A pool of light and hope in a vast pit of darkness.

A Sanctuary.

The weeds will always take it back, she thought, and the impulse to whistle gripped her suddenly. Not only to whistle but to allow it to linger, drifting into the night in a long, solid note like a tea kettle left on a burner. The feeling gripped her in the same way that the urge to jump from a height might grip someone who has climbed to the top of a building.

“The Call of the Void.”

The urge to self-destruct. To injure or kill oneself, even when one doesn’t feel the least suicidal. That little piece of your brain that whispers, “Jump!” in your ear and terrifies you with its strength. The feeling of having to wrestle for control of your own body in defiance of The Void.

A manic giggle escaped Rebecca’s throat and she slapped a hand over her mouth, eyes wide and startled.

She wouldn’t whistle.

Her eyes slowly descended back to the notebook in front of her. As they did, a flash of movement caught her attention in the trees and her eyes darted, searching for whatever she had seen. But there was nothing there, save for the trees, which were still and silent.

Shaking her head as if to clear away the confusion she felt, she continued to read.

October 3

It is absofuckinglutely piss pouring rain at the moment. I guess that’s not so bad. The last fucking thing we need is a fucking forest fire to come along and displace us. I can think of a million things that I’d rather do than spend a night in those woods…

Things have been quiet around here since Gail got back. No creepy whistling girls. No vague ghost stories from Alan. Everyone’s been really fucking quiet. Maybe a little too quiet? No one seems to talk anymore. Most of the time we just sit in our rooms alone…Eat alone…Drink alone…

It kind of feels like the world is holding its breath.

At least Gail found some fucking food while she was out in the woods. We’ve been eating pretty well since she got back. I think she said that it’s wild boar. Pretty fucking badass of her to kill a fucking boar for us! Makes a guy feel loved…

Dead fuck sightings: 0 (but I can still smell them most of the time)

October 6

Gail’s been acting kind of strange. In fact, really fucking strange. She hardly talks to anyone anymore. Not even Max or David, and they’ve known one another for a long-ass time. She used to be so friendly and open when I met her, but now she just sleeps a lot or spends all of her time walking alone in the woods.

I can’t necessarily blame her. We’ve all been through some stressful times and have seen some shit. Sometimes you just go on auto-pilot until you’re safe and then the stress catches up with you. And the depression smacks your ass down into the dirt.

We all go back to the dirt in the end, don’t we? Figuratively and metaphorically speaking.

I don’t know if I should try to talk to her about it, or fucking what. I suck at other people’s feelings almost as much as I suck at dealing with my own shit. Maybe I should just let it go and see what happens.

I just don’t want her going off the deep end and doing something really bad.

Dead fuck sightings: 0

Found scrawled on the back of the previous entry in a nearly illegible scratch:

You’re right. It all ends in the dirt.

You will all end in the dirt.

Fall down. Fall down. Fall down. Fall down. All down. Fall down. Fall down. Fall down. Fall down. Fall down. Fall down. Fall down. Fall down. Fall down. Fall down. Fall down. Fall down. Fall down. Fall down. Fall down. Fall down. Fall down. Fall down. Fall down. Fall down. Fall down. Fall down. Fall down. Fall down. Fall down. Fall down. Fall down. Fall down. Fall down. Fall down. Fall down. Fall down. Fall down. Fall down. Fall down. Fall down. Fall down. Fall down. Fall down. Fall down. Fall down. Fall down. Fall down. Fall down. Fall down. Fall down. Fall down. Fall down. Fall down. Fall down. Fall down. Fall down. Fall down. Fall down. Fall down. Fall down. Fall down. Fall down. Fall down. Fall down. Fall down. Fall down. Fall down. Fall down. Fall down. Fall down. Fall down. Fall down. Fall down. Fall down. Fall down. Fall down. Fall FALLDOWNFALLDOWNFALLDOWNFALLDOWNFALLDOWNFALLDOWNFALLDOWNFALLDOWNFALLDOWNFALLDOWNFALLDOWNALLDOWNALLDOWNALLDOWNALLDOWNALLDOWNFALLDOWNFALLDOWNFALLDOWNFALLDOWNFALLDOWNFALLDOWNFALLDOWNFALLDOWNFALLDOWNFALLDOWNFALLDOWNFALLDOWNFALLDOWNFALLDOWNFALLDOWNFALLDOWNFALLDOWNFALLDOWNFALLDOWNFALLDOWNFALLDOWNFALLDOWNFALLDOWNFALLDOWNFALLDOWNFALLDOWNFALLDOWNFALLDOWNFALLDOWNFALLDOWNFALLDOWNFALLDOWNFALLDOWNFALLDOWNFALLDOWNFALLDOWNFALLDOWNFALLDOWNFALLDOWNFALLDOWNFALLDOWNFALLDOWNFALLDOWNFALLDOWNFALLDOWNFALLDOWNFALLDOWNFALLDOWNFALLDOWNFALLDOWNFALLDOWNFALLDOWNFALLDOWNFALLDOWNFALLDOWNFALLDOWNFALLDOWNFALLDOWNFALLDOWNFALLDOWNFALLDOWNFALLDOWNFALLDOWNFALLDOWNFALLDOWNFALLDOWNFALLDOWNFALLDOWNFALLDOWNFALLDOWNFALLDOWNFALLDOWNFALLDOWNFALLDOWNFALLDOWNFALLDOWNFALLDOWNFALLDOWNFALLDOWNFALLDOWNFALLDOWNFALLDOWNFALLDOWNFALLDOWNFALLDOWNFALLDOWNFALLDOWNFALLDOWNFALLDOWNFALLDOWNFALLDOWNFALLDOWNFALLDOWNFALLDOWNFALLDOWNFALLDOWNFALLDOWNFALLDOWNFALLDOWNFALLDOWNFALLDOWNFALLDOWNFALLDOWNFALLDOWNFALLDOWNFALLDOWNFALLDOWNFALLDOWNFALLDOWNFALLDOWNFALLDOWNFALLDOWNFALLDOWNFALLDOWNFALLDOWNFALLDOWNFALLDOWNFALLDOWNFALLDOWNFALLDOWNFALLDOWNFALLDOWNFALLDOWNFALLDOWNFALLDOWN

ALL

DOWN

FALL

DOWN

ALL

October 9

The writing on the back of October 6 is fucking me up. I almost don’t want to touch this fucking book again. It feels contaminated. Unclean.

I don’t even know if that’s my handwriting this time because it’s so fucking scratched on there. But who the fuck else could have done it? I’m the only one who knows about this book. No one’s ever seen me write in it as far as I know.

Anyway, I made a promise to myself to document the last few days of my life. For science…or history…or whatever the fuck. So here I am, writing, against my better judgment.

Gail is still sleeping most of the time. Mary is still…well, Mary. Silent and sad. Alan seems preoccupied by something, but he won’t say what it is…

Max and David are the only semi-normal folks here. David just kind of tries to keep the poor kid occupied and give him as much of a childhood as he can, given the circumstances. They both seem worried for Gail too.

Max tried to get in bed with her yesterday afternoon to cuddle while she slept and she just turned away from him and faced the wall. The poor kid didn’t understand what was going on so he tried to hug her from behind and she just pulled away further and wrapped the blankets tighter around her shoulders.

Max starts to cry because he’s just a kid and doesn’t know how to deal with this shit. No, scratch that, he shouldn’t have to deal with this shit. So, I distracted him with a card game and he forgot about Gail snubbing him. Or seemed to anyway.

Dead fuck sighting: 0 (…but the fucking smell never seems to go away. You’d think I would get used to it, but it’s stronger, if anything)

October 10

Well, David tried to talk some sense into Gail today. It didn’t go well, from what I could hear.

It was hard to make out exactly what was said because they were behind a closed door, but I could hear him trying to speak calmly to her while she basically ripped the poor guy a new asshole. The only thing I could 100% make out was her saying (or screaming):

“You don’t understand! You don’t get it! We’re all going to die out here unless we can get enough food for the winter, and that’s on me. I’m the scavenger! I’m the one who has to go out there and face whatever’s in the woods to find other people and their supplies! What part of that don’t you get, David?!”

I heard David practically whisper, “What do you mean by ‘people and their supplies’, Gail? Are you trying to say that you killed someone for a few cans of fucking food? Did you even kill the boar or did you just steal it from someone too?”

It got really quiet and hard to hear the rest, but I swear it sounded like she said, “No. I killed him myself. I did what I had to do for us…”

Then the fighting erupted again and I couldn’t take it anymore. I listened to my fucking parents fight like that back in the day, before the divorce. Fucking bitterness and anger dripping from every syllable they uttered to one another.

I fucking hate that shit. So I just walked out of the place and wandered around some of the old buildings, thinking about the past. About my parents and Lucille and how fucked up things got in the end.

My mind kept going back to Gail’s words though: “I killed him myself.”

“Him” not “it”.

Weird fucking way to refer to a wild boar that we’ve been eating for days, but that’s women for you. They always seem to like personifying animals. I don’t get it. If I eat you, I don’t want to think of you as a person. You’re food now.

I wonder if that’s how the fucking dead fucks work. Maybe they’re all hallucinating that we’re just big fucking pieces of steak and pumpkin pie or some shit like that? Weird train of thought there, Neegs.

Dead fuck sightings: 0 (blah, blah blah…the air smells like shit here…starting to think that we’re right next to a fucking abattoir or something....Maybe that’s why folks fucked off from here in the 40s?)

Found on the next page in a tight, controlled script that does not match Negan’s handwriting:

He doesn’t know.

I know what he writes.

I’ll write too.

Soon they will all know…

He comes.

October 14

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

It’s been a few days since I saw the lovely little note someone left me after my last entry. Fucking fuck. This shit is getting too weird.

I showed it to Alan today because he at least seems to know a few things about weird shit going on in the woods. He got really pale when he saw it and even paler when I showed him the first two. Especially that fucking “Fall Down” one.

He told me that he needed to show me something right away. It was dark and still raining out a little bit, but I followed him outside and across the tiny village we’ve called our home for a few weeks.

He took me to the very edge of town, near the beginning of the woods. I didn’t want to go anywhere fucking near that shit, but I had to follow. It seemed so important to him. Besides, it might not be safe anywhere anymore.

We stood outside of the building he had brought me to for a moment before swinging the old wooden door open and leading me inside. Everything was dark aside from the beam of light coming from Alan’s flashlight, and what little I could see made me want to go take at least five hot showers.

The whole place was wrecked to shit. Wooden furniture overturned and broken. Everything covered in dust and thick cobwebs. Decades of leaves and debris that had blown in through the broken windows scattered around.

I asked, “What the fuck is this place?”

Without saying anything, Alan pointed his beam to the far right corner of the room and illuminated the wall. My eyes followed and I finally saw why he had brought me to this place. There was a drawing on the wall. It looked like this:

“It was their church,” he said finally.

“What?”

“The people who were here before us. In the 40s. This was their church. This has all happened before, and it’s happening again now.”

“What? What the fuck is happening? What does this mean?”

“It means,” he said softly, “that we need to get out of here soon or we’ll end up like the town’s first inhabitants.”

“Oh? And what fucking happened to them? I thought they just fucked off…”

“Does a whole town of people just ‘fuck off’ over the course of one winter, Negan?” his eyes burned into me, “Towns die slowly from a million small losses. Whole populations don’t just get up one winter day and walk out of their homes, leaving everything behind, and write shit like this on their walls before they do. They didn’t leave. They died.”

“How do you know this? How could you possibly know?”

“Because my grandmother was here when it happened. Haven’t you figured that out by now? She saw the literal writing on the wall,” he gestured with his flashlight, “and got out before the snow flew. And that’s what I intend to do first thing tomorrow morning. I would encourage you to do the same if you value your fucking soul.”

“What are we fucking talking about here? Fucking souls? What the fuck, man? I don’t understand this shit!”

“You don’t need to. It’s not for you to understand. Just listen to me and know that if you stay here you will die horribly. You will all die horribly. They found them in the spring. My grandmother told me when I was old enough to understand. The town didn’t disappear. They were right here. Dead. Eaten. Decaying. That’s what happened to the town of Falling Creek.”

“Can you just tell me what we’re fucking talking about? Please? I need to know because I haven’t seen a whole lot outside of this place that feels very safe right now either.”

Alan sighed and lowered his beam, then looked me dead in the eyes before responding, “Look, I’m only going to say this once, so listen to me now. I don’t even want to say it because saying it can be enough to pique its attention, but if you have to know…if it’s the only way to convince you to come with me, then here it is: Wendigo.”

“The fuck does that mean?”

“There are things out here that are worse than the living dead. Those fuckers are just mindless machines, toiling away at the command of their impulses. They aren’t malevolent or benevolent – they just exist.”

He continued:

“The thing that I just named? It’s different. It is every evil that sleeps in the heart of humanity.

It is every time someone harms another out of self-interest or hate or greed.

It is colonialism.

It is genocide.

It is a hate crime.

It is famine.

It is abuse of power.

It is corruption.

It eats away at those who encounter it. It leaves them always hungry for more power and more wrath. They are never satisfied. To even speak its name is to invoke it.

It lives in these woods. My grandmother knew it. And her parents before her. And their parents and so on. It’s always been here and always will be. It may sleep for a while, but it always wakes up eventually. Usually when you’re at your lowest and most desperate.

Nothing stops it because true evil has no end. You can only avoid it and hope that it’s enough. Like a hurricane. That’s why I didn’t want to tell you. That’s why I couldn’t say its name before, but I’m willing to risk it if it saves you and the others.

I thought that it was just a story. I was willing to come here with Gail because it seemed like a good place to hide out. Now I know that it’s real. As real as you or me. And we need to get out.”

He turned and left back for the main building. I followed along with him and said nothing. What could I say?

As soon as we were inside he began to pack his things silently.

I don’t know what to think anymore. I don’t know what to do. Even if we leave at first light, we’ll have to spend a few days in the woods before we reach the next town. I can’t leave Max or Mary here, but I don’t know if they would make it out there.

I want to go, but I don’t know if I can live with myself if I leave them here with that thing. Whatever it is.

Dead fuck count: Who cares?

#comicnegan>#Negan's thirst squad #twd fanfiction #horror fanfiction #horror fiction

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theinsanecrayonbox · 7 years

Text

the great FOP review mega dump

ok so apparently the rest of s10 was aired at the end of June through July of this year. now granted, i do not get NickToons and used a friend’s DVR to record it, so there’s a margin for error, but i don’t recall any of these episodes ever getting recorded. i could be wrong, my memory sucks, BUT TVGuide is stupid and has a habit of putting the wrong names/numbers on things and if the guide doesn’t list the episode as new because half of it already aired, then it wouldn’t get recorded. so again, huge margin for error.

basically, i hadn’t posted these yet because i didn’t realize they’d aired; i was trying to avoid spoiling anything for people. Nick sucks at their programming schedule. these first viewing reviews are nearly a year old in some cases, since it was about a year ago that i was given links to watch some of these online after they’d aired in other countries. so yeah, probably a little dated, might not hold up, but here they are so we can be done with this.

Which is Wish:

Chloe is a vegetarian??? Has this been said before??

I feel like everything in the garage there was in the attic when Dad made Timmy clean that out before…not that that isn’t plausible, since that’d be one way to “clean” the attic lol. Just thought it was a neat commentary.

But yes Chloe, unleash your organizational skills. Color coded labels are awesome! Cleaning sucks, but labels lol

And yes, switching bodies always works so well doesn’t it Timmy…but heehee he called Chloe pretty XD though in fairness…doesn’t this mean Chloe is still eating the meat, because Tim’s in her body…or do they just *look* like one another? See, that’s the gray area…

Ok I do not like all these moments of Dad seeing Cosmo and Wanda; they’re glossed over yes, but still. That should break Da Rules though, because they’ve been revealed (not to mention Crocker knows about them a million times over I know). it just seems like a cheap gag that they don’t need, and it’s annoying.

“Chlimmy Turnermicheal” lol, I need to draw a fusion of my Opals now XD;;;

Ok yes, they’ve body swapped, not glamoured, so Chloe *did* eat the meat after all, thank you for explaining that

Seriously, it’s Cosmo loosing the wands (for the umpteenth time) that is going to cause the problems here -.-

Yay more Chloe parents! They aren’t 1 or 2 offs! Though…why were they absent up until this point? Did they decide to take a sabbatical from work after the booby incident? That’d be nice

OMR Danny, Vlad (wait nasty Dan? Hu oh well), and Dudley puppets. That is too cute for words!!

And a Little Shop joke. Eeeeeeee!!! I know they’ve done man-eating plants before, but still!

Chloe’s dad faints at failure? Hm, that could be useful.

Tim admitting he’d miss Chloe is sweet, especially since it wasn’t with any mention of loosing his fairies

Hahahaha dressing up as each other/themselves, that’s great. Cosmo’s head blowing up is getting old though.

All in all I give this episode a huge A+. It is a cliché trope of a plot, but I feel it was executed really really well!! Nice balance of magical aspects with non-magical ones I thought, and gave development to both kids and their families.

Fairy Con:

Ok first of all, I thought Fairy conventions were held every thousand years or so, and was actually just for the fairies. Granted, this “Fairy con” could be a different event OR they changed the event after Timmy’s bathroom one, since that could’ve been the first time a godchild was involved? Also, Timmy is you go “every year” that shows that this is at least 2 years after you got your fairies (because you had Cosmo Con, then assume one after that, then at minimum this one), so why are you still 10?????? (and don’t go saying “the time stopping wish in secret wish” because uhg)

Crocker in the fridge….ok…but adding in Crocker to crash the Con…yeah this is a complete plot reusing of Cosmo Con, just updating it a bit

Look Girlfriend the cat isn’t dead!!

If you’ve had their hair samples for that long why haven’t you cloned them before?? But “off brand cloning machine” is sorta funny. Also, Kenny G? that a Spongebob shout out or not?

Ok if it merged the cat DNA with the fairy why didn’t it merge the fairy DNA together too? Also, missed your mark to have a real “fairy cat” show up (though no Sparky so we don’t need it anymore I guess)

Oh but Chloe’s enthusiasm over her first con, I am so happy at that ^^ I just had my first comic con, and I was spazzing like that too when I wasn’t freaking out over being ditched and lost.

Ok that is yet ANOTHER unique birthday for Timmy. He’s up to what, 5 now since the series started? (Boys in the Band, Birthday Bashed, Birthday Battle, the one mentioned in Birthday Battle about the dinosaurs) the kid is at least 14 now, he has to be!

I like all the backgrounders. Some look super squashed, but still neat.

Tooth fairy returns! Yay! We had mentions of Cupid and Mother Nature before, so it’s nice to see the magical celebrities are still around and not forgotten.

Ahhh! The return of the Crocker Pot which captures fairies!! Ok I am giving this writing team an A- on doing their lore homework because they are getting so many things right (though the Fairy Con being thrown off is still deducting points sorry)

There was a blonde fairy that looked like Samantha in the background O.o

“Chloe Carmichael, any normal person would give up right now. But you are NOT normal!” - omr Chloe I love you and your “never quit” song was good and humorous, I still love you

Timmy how can you not know what Crocker is up to? He’s always up to the same exact thing. If he’s in Fairy World, I’m fairly sure there is a 1000% chance he’s there to capture fairies. Geeze.

OMR Princess Morebucks was in the seats at Cosmo’s panel, I’m not joking.

All in all, it wasn’t a giant impacting story, but it was a good one, even though it was a total reusing of a plot. I feel like the writing team did their homework pretty decently (for the most part). Plus, the magic of cons ^^

The Hungry Games:

This is the B-Story to Fairy Con…interesting choice…more fangirl!Chloe…

I love her “Katniss hair”, heck I just love seeing alternate hair on her

Heh “Ketchup Everdream”, wow, ok, sure

That might be the wrong movie, but it sounds interesting. What movie was that Cosmo?

Aw Chloe lost…but yay call back to screaming in her closet

Lol Crocker is once again, king of dystopian world. That is perfect. This is all perfect. Maybe it’s because I liked the Hunger Games movie that I can thoroughly enjoy this parody, idk. But this is great. I am loving this episode.

And cue the pointless Dad part…wait Mr Bickles?? Where have you been?? Why are you here???

I like the blonde/pink haired backgrounder

I really loved this episode! It was so nice how Timmy did this for Chloe and stuck with it even when it was bad for him, then she turns around and does something nice for him at the end. It let Chloe fly her freaky fangirl flag on so many levels. Like I said, I liked Hunger Games, so this was a great parody that was loads of fun. I really really enjoyed all of it.

As a whole episode, these two really show us what a geeky girl Chloe is I think. She’s not just the over achieving little Ms Perfect she was at first, she’s got her weird hobbies and obsessions too. And the fact that she was so into Fair Bears AND dystopian doomy future really says a lot about her, and really speaks to me on many levels. It’s just solidified my love of Chloe even more.

Dimmsdale Daze:

And we start off with jokes about barfing…well it is a roller coaster so I can let it slide…just don’t spiral out of control with them…

Heehee “vines” joke, that’s great. Because it highlights their age AND that they are more naturalist

Oooo Connie said “shyster”, that’s pretty borderline…

Chaining yourself to the tree in town…wouldn’t that be the same tree that Tootie did the same thing to in the first live action movie? I don’t know if that’s a good or bad thing…

Did Chloe’s middle name change? O.o but lol to the “when you’re a parent you can make the decisions” because I head canon them meddling after Chloe’s divorce, but I know that line is the plot fodder, so I’ll just push the head canons away for now

Lookit that adult!Chloe though!! I’m not that far off the mark with my design (plus you know, there are several older!Timmy designs and none are more true than the other, so my older!Chloe being short and bustier is still plausible). And hey lookit! Cameo of the adult!Timmy from Big Problem AND confirmation that if one of the godkids breaks Da Rules they both loose the fairies TOGETHER

Neither Clark nor Connie really look too much like Chloe as children (ok Connie *does* but when you consider they made child Dad look exactly like Timmy before, it’s not quite enough)…just another tick in my adopted column, just saying…

Why did that child in the bounce house have lipstick O.o

Chloe’s earring is like, in the wrong place and it’s bothering me…

“But I have the mind if a child” “It’s true, he’s been tested” – I…wow, just…yes?

And of course Connie and Clark get assigned Cosmo and Wanda, I don’t know why I didn’t see that coming honestly ^^;;

You know, even though this is sort of a rehash of Big Problem and The Switch Glitch I thoroughly enjoyed this one! Single mom!Chloe was great, it feeds my future headcanons. It proved that Tim and Chloe do share the negative effects of the fairies. And it was just a really good Chloe episode that Timmy was just a supporting character in. I really did like it. A+

As a whole, I think both parts (this is meant to be paired with Spring Breakup) work nicely together. It’s a lot of Chloe and her family, so if you want some serious Carmichael development, do for this set most definitely.

Chip off the Old Crock:

Ok before getting into this one, I just gotta state that since I read the description for it, I’ve been ITCHING to see this. How does Crocker have a nephew if he has no siblings? (*current thoughts: i’ve since this review come up with a plausible scenario*) What would this child be like? How could I use him for Superverse conveniently?? And then I saw screencaps and saw that he was a mini Crocker and got disappointed…

But now we are to watch so let us see how that unfolds…

What’s with that redheaded backgrounder?? He looks like a Lebowitz!! *files that away for layer usage*

Still laughing that he’s named Kevin since that is a “name of evil” in our games and what not ever since my brother used it as a placeholder name for a badguy in a storyline; ever since then “Kevin” had been the badguys who are sorta pointless lol

But still…”study abroad” um…you still could’ve used that since Crocker obviously has family in Canada; studying in California would then be considered “abroad” if he was Canadian. And that way, he wouldn’t have to be his literal nephew, but his 2nd cousin, but they just call each other uncle/nephew because it’s easier. That might sound confusing, but at least it makes more sense then just randomly implying he has siblings when he never has. I’m gonna headcanon this from now on, and no one can convince me otherwise. (*current thoughts: again, i’ve figured it out since writing this; i’ve left the original thoughts though to prove my though process from point A to point B*) Plus you miss out on Canada jokes this way…

Awww Kevin, I’m starting to love you…that’s weird…

Everyone pick a partner-no one pick Kevin, classic. However…redhead boy had 2 partners, why didn’t Crocker notice and stop that? There’s no reason why Chloe and Tim needed to pair up with him aside from plot relevance…

Ah sweet Chloe, standing up for the misunderstood and outcast, trying to find the good in them and make others see it too. I love you sweetheart ^^ go make friends with Francis now please

Why isn’t Dolores fawning over Kevin? You’d think she wouldn’t let her *grandson* out of her sight, considering the coddling we’ve seen her give Denzel at times. Unless she’s busy with her *other child* I guess…but in that case why isn’t she belittling Denzel for not being like *his sibling* and having kids and not living in her basement? I’d love to see Denzel look like a looser compared to this *sibling* he suddenly has, and it suits the family dynamic as we know it. Or perhaps the *sibling* is more of a looser, but Dolores still sings their praises because they did move out and have a kid, unlike Denzel who has a steady job and whatnot because *sibling* is a total bum. I mean, I get that it would only slow down the storyline, but it just feels out of character, plus the sudden introduction of a *sibling* just is wrong too…I should stop analyzing the Crocker family and just go back to the actual plot

Kevin wants to be a dentist??? O.o are you related to Dr Bender??? That…would explain nothing honestly, idk why I went there

“Sorry I’m too busy being a loner” haha that’s a good one

Hey callback to Crocker wearing ladies clothes. Nice.

“It’s a blueprint so shouldn’t it be blue?” hahaha that was funny

Chloe how did you get to the top of the rock wall without a rope?? Did you boulder your way yup there?? And Tim! You should never rock climb without a belier(sp?) geeze, rock climbing 101 there dude

And toilet joke…but I will let it slide because I am actually enjoying Kevin

“Unleash your inner looser” omr yes best line

Ah the build up to the betrayal “aw you guys actually like me” “well yeah you’re not evil” *does the evil thing* “we hate you now because you are evil after all”

Unsuspecting Van is back whoot!

Ninja!Chloe and Tim with a light saber; nice, but what a missed opportunity…also Chloe has a ninja suit…she really is replacing Tootie isn’t she…

And Kevin saves the day by wishing none of this ever happened…just like Chester did in Fairy Idol hm…

But at the end of it, I’m actually very surprised how much I liked this despite all its flaws. It’s riddled with clichés and huge plot holes/continuity errors, but I genuinely liked Kevin (and whole heartedly look forward to writing him into Superverse…also would it be too weird if he was Kyler’s father? I think it’d be weird…). I think it’s a nice B-story to Cat and Mouse and together they make a pretty good episode.

Space Ca-Dad:

Off topic a moment here; rewatching the theme and it just dawned on me…maybe there’s a “fairy shortage” because no one’s enforcing the rules over fairies being revealed/discovered. I mean, if everyone Timmy knows knows about his fairies and yet he keeps them, then other kids must be doing that too you know. Just saying Jorgen, you caused this problem yourself man…and honestly, why not outsource the fairy jobs then to other magical creatures, since Fairy Idol proved any magical creature can be converted to a fairy godparent. It’d be a great way to bring Norm back if you stop and think about it, or a way to get the Pixies back in there too. I’m just saying, the “fairy shortage” story is pretty weak…still think Jorgen just did this to them because they’re good for each other…

Ok back to the episode itself

Yay Chloe is still a Squirrely Scout, good for continuity! And you love food puns? i love you more Chloe, you so are a Catman related heroine aren’t you ^^;

Did he say “Mrs Lipshitz” or “Mrs Libwitz”? it was really hard to tell, so idk if that’s a Rugrats shout out or someone I have to add to my Lebowitz family tree (cause slurred sound…and the witch/mental thing does suit the family…)

Dad you had the rank of “flying squirrel” why is this confusing??

Ok there are “Pickles” living on the street, I’m going with Lipshitz. So many Rurgrats shout outs.

Whinny kid, Kid with issues (aren’t you Kevin?), and Stuart…so we are going with the latest (and suckier) Squirrel Scout troop line up. Kay.

Chloe as a jr. astronaut though and knowing how to fly space ships ^^

Heehee “Space Jam” how many more thinly veiled references can we have XD;;

(maybe Squirrely Kevin is Kyler’s father…that’s doable…)

Ah yes, Dad throwing the fairies out just when the kid/s need them. Yup, never seen that plot device used before nope. And how can rocket fuel destroy magical wands? They’re fairy magic, why are they so easy to ruin??

How did you find a planetoid when you were heading towards the sun??? I don’t…right, why put logic into things, my bad

The Glorg. Florgatron-5. Hm…*files that way for layer usage* Bakersfield???

I loved all the aliens at the restaurant though.

Over all, this episode was…meh. I didn’t dislike it, but it was a very pointless Dad episode. Seriously, you could’ve had them go to the Planet of the Dads and do pretty much the same thing, but at least keep that storyline going (since I think it’s the longest running one now). I’m unimpressed, but I’m not disappointed. So lets see if the B-story can save the episode as a whole.

Summer Bummer:

“The looks of psychotic anticipation” lol, well we’re starting off with some good

Also it’s summer vacation yet again. Mk…this makes it at least the 4th summer vacation Tim’s had, what with School’s Out, Shelf Life, and Microphony being the others I can easily site off the top of my head. So again, these children should be like 14-16 now

It’s the return of Dad in short-shorts. Oh man, run and hide now.

Chloe getting a summer internship/scientific program is very her. Must always be learn…wait did she say the corner of a basement?? O.o that’s concerning child…

Oh hey that pink clad teacher is from s1 I think. Wasn’t she in Timvisible at the water cooler?? That is a very nice and wow throwback guys. Major points to you.

Chloe is 10 and a half???? So she actually IS a year younger than Timmy, since he was already 10 when he had his birthday (and we ignore the previous like 5 birthdays he’s had >>) and they share a birthday…but wait, your birthday is in March…summer vacation starts in June/July, that isn’t 6 months later…ok so on the one hand, your math is all wrong, but on the other my headcanon that Chloe is a year younger seems to be proven fact. I don’t know what to do with this information!!

Oh this is the sleep wishing episode I heard about! Wow took a while for the plot to show up…but you know, even though this has been used before, I feel like this is being used in a different context and for a different character, so I’m allowing the reuse of the plot idea. Let’s see how twisted up Chloe’s subconscious is…

“Gender neutral Jesse” is sorta weird…I like the fact that Chloe did play with baby dolls though…

Timmy you can’t unwish Chloe’s wish! We’ve been over this-we had a whole episode dedicated to it!! URG!! Did they just throw that out because it’s easier for them to just fix each other’s mistakes that way? I mean, if this was the only time, I could buy that since she didn’t *consciously* make this wish, it could be undone by Tim, but the other times they’ve pulled this she’s been in her full faculties. So uhg! You can’t even keep your own continuity you establish in the same season >> (but…you guys have been doing better than expected, so…it’s not *as* negative points as I’d usually give…or maybe it is but you’ve just racked up enough positive ones to be at the standard by now I guess)

Hey Dr Rip Studwell, long time no see XD and…you made a manscaping joke…wow, I…wow

And a poop joke…but you have a pirate ship…but still…

“Took one to the crow’s nest” is that a crotch shot joke? Wow this episode is just…wow

Omr the mini shoulder Chloes are adorable! I love valley girl!Chloe and german science!Chloe. Didn’t like the second poop joke in a minute, especially since Dad really *shouldn’t* have heard science!Chloe say that…

She wished the doll big again…I think Chloe’s repressed feelings are about not wanting to grow up

And look Da Rules FINALLY decide to kick…oh no, Chloe wished it to be unwishable...yeah, because that’s the only way to stop Tim from fixing it >> and yet at the same time, he did wish the monster to stay until he stopped lying about who set Chompy free, so…formula…

“There’s free ice cream all over the street! It’s like delicious roadkill!” ok that is the best line ever

Wait, you’re wishing yourself into Chloe’s mind?? Because that worked so well when you went into your own…and why does it remind me of Mabel’s dreamworld/mind? I expected less pink, more purple honestly. Preschool!Chloe is so adorable!! Totally called the plot though, not that it’s hard.

Cosmo confirmed as queer, because even when he thought Wanda was “Weird Dude” he still had a crush on him. Wow, I am floored they did that, good for you

And we end it by promoting cannibalism? Oh wait no; we scratch the 4th wall instead. Ahha. Yeah. You totally missed the opportunity to have “Kids just being Kids” playing somewhere-possibly remixed-because I feel the message suited Chloe’s mentality too right now.

Over all, I’m glad it was Chloe centric but…I feel like this could’be been done in half the time maybe? They ignore their own continuity, but they do tackle real stuff in a minimal magical way. I guess like the A-story, I’m unimpressed but not disappointed. I feel like both of these should not have been paired together because as a whole the entire episode is lacking; they both needed a stronger story to counter balance them. It’s a good watch once through, but I doubt it’s an episode you’ll want to rewatch.

Dimmsdale’s Got Tallent:

Ok…I feel like this plot has been used before…and not necessarily thinking Fairy Idol either, but I just can’t place which episode I’m thin king of…

TOOTIE!!!! THEY DIDN’T SHIP YOU OFF TO BOARDING SCHOOL OR WHATEVER!! OMR!!! Sadly you were just a backgrounder cameo, but still…now I just need to find Francis then my main favs will have all appeared to be not dead (*spoiler: Francis does not appear anywhere*)

More Bickles…huh…

Mom’s stage name is “Madame Sasha”…is that a hint that her first name is Sasha?? Most times when you make up “magic names” they’re either your real name in between “the” and “magnificent” or they’re some super exotic/fake/fantastical sounding thing like how Dad was “Dadracadabra”

And more about Chloe’s one-woman show. That’s so neat that this is something that they’re developing for her, instead of using as a toss away one shot gag.

Kevin!! Dressed as a dummy for a comedy act lol. It’s an old and over used plot idea, but I’ll run with it. I like it. Cause Crocker now has 24 hour access to a child, he of course has to think of other ways to use it. “I’m telling my mom you made me do this” because that is Denzel’s sister so it is a legitimate threat…though you’d think Dolores would object to this too…why have we not had any interaction of Kevin with his grandmother yet??? I’d love to see Denzel get jealous over the attention his mother is giving Kevin that he never received

Haha Dad stealing Chloe’s idea, and still breaking the gender norms, nice. Where did Bickles get the coconut bikini top and grass skirt though?

Oh baaaaaad lesson to be teaching kids there guys. If the authority figure won’t give you want you want, you shouldn’t do them favors to try to bribe them into giving it to. Especially in the entertainment industry. That’s how bad situations happen….

Um those remote control tap shoes shouldn’t work because they would be helping Tim to win a competition, which is against Da Rules…not that Da Rules seem to matter anymore…

Ok Mom, you claimed to be a “Pet Psycho” yet you’re using only wild/non-pet animals. I think that’s probably the easiest way to point out that you’re doing this wrong

“I love me some snake and mongoose” ok…lets go see if that’s a euphemism on google…hm, nope, just a drag racing movie. That’s nice…wasn’t Bickles a race car driver at some point??

Doug Dimmadome returns! And “curious life partner”??? the Mayor and Chompy are a thing??? O.o???

Good boy Kevin, stand up to Crocker ^^

“That was a Dimma-dud” so simple and stupid, but probably the most fulfilling line thus far ^^;

love Chloe’s gold gown

ok I lied, “Dimma-dope” is now the most fulfilling line in this

heehee Dudley Puppy and Crimson Chin balloons in the parade. So headcanoning that TUFF Puppy was a show on tv in FOPverse

so this episode was….well just really pointless filler too. We got like minimal focus on any of our main characters. Have they forgotten how to write Timmy and Chloe?

Together these two (this was paired with Knitt-witts) were not a good match. Both were pointless filler with not a strong plot in either of them. Too many guest cameos, no character development. It was just barely enjoyable enough to not hate it, but just barely honestly. Weak episode all around.

Goldie Crocks and the three Fair Bears:

Ok I’ve been looking forward to the return of the Fair Bears since the episode titles were released.

Interesting to see the Squirrely Scout troop back again, still the same B-team line up including Chloe. Thought you already had that patch…but then again that could’ve been with the A-team troop lineup, so…the records were all destroyed when it was disbanded maybe?

Thanks Tim, we all were asking that. But how does using Mom’s shampoo make your hair blonde? Luscious and even longer I could buy without complaint, but blonde??

More over achieving Chloe lol (poor girl is gonna crash when she burns out). But wow, she fought King Neptuna…so why didn’t he remember her? Is Supergal now enemy to the merfolk??? Though that plays into the Merfolk vs Glamazons wouldn’t it…

And now we turn into the clichéd camping storyline where Character A decides to go use non-wilderness to camp in luxury. But Tim, you used to like camping??? Also, still not seeing how the episode title plays into this plot yet…

Cosmo has been right/made sense on more than one occasion though, why is it that surprising?

Ok now we get the title…Crocker’s mother has a cabin in the woods? Buyable, sure. Crocker somehow brought the Fair Bears back into reality??? Uh…what now? Wait, they weren’t sent back to TVLand?? And Crocker knows all about their origin?? HOW does that not break Da Rules huh? Is it because he doesn’t know who wished them up, so it’s not against Da Rules?? Why wouldn’t they tell him that; wouldn’t that be a fair thing to do?? He’s in a blonde wig because they’re going to be Goldielocks at a theme park, yeah sure, ok I can buy that. But HOW did he get the bears in the first place???

And Dad is blonde to be Goldielocks…wow…

Chloe breaking the 4th wall a little there

Gah even more middle names! Chloe how many do you even have????

NO! YOU CAN’T UNDO THE OTHER’S WISHES! URGH!!! You established this rule right off the bat, yet you keep breaking it and they let you keep breaking it. Timmy wished for the camping stuff-Chloe should not be able to wish it away. Yes the plot is stalled, but really, what is the plot at this point??? If you’re only going to enforce the rules when it suits you, well, anarchy for all then please

And you wished away the magic…yeah, that’s going to go super well

“Mr Crocker’s unsightly twin sister” ok on the one hand, that works because of Kevin granted (even though she’s not a twin persay, but he has suddenly got a sister), but on the other…this is all saying that guys can’t have long hair and I don’t like that. I love guys with long hair. Between that comment on Crocker, and the comments earlier about Dad, why is long hair automatically girl now?

Dolores dated Shaggy??? O.o i…I am very unnerved by that…wasn’t she already a full blown adult with a 10 year old child when Shaggy was a teenager roaming in the van with the Mystery Inc crew?? O.o

Omr yes. Referencing the “original German version” as a darker one. Talking about basting and eating people. This turned dark super fast and I love that. why TrollLOL’s face is on the oven idk, but I’m rolling with it because I love this part.

“I’ve already got 2 strikes from the school board” uh…yeah that’s the wrong side of dark I think…but it’s Crocker, it was probably the fork in Waxelplax’s fanny, and the flour incident or something fairly similar.

Yes Tim, yell at Chloe that this is all her fault. We know it is, but pointing it out won’t help. But it totally is; you wished for no magic and you got into trouble-not surprising.

HOW is it nearly midnight??? It was like, what, noon at the latest when this started?? You have not been out in the woods-in the daylight-for 12 hours-of daylight. Chloe hunny, you’re the smart one, why are you failing telling time??? I know its dark outside the house now, but it wasn’t in the scene before. Cosmo I think your clock is right. And how is “poof us out of here” bring you to a spot where it is, once again daylight; that seemed to suggest instant teleporting so you’re at the same time. Unless this next scene is a cut away to hours later BUT STILL! It should not be midnight.

Oh Dad, yes, I’m sure no one cares about your troop anymore.

“let’s send the Fair Bears back” uh you should have done that the first time and this whole mess would have been avoided. It’s like leaving the door to the comic book world open all over again.

And yes, cause unnecessary harm to Crocker, why not. Not to mention all the innocent patrons at the theme park…

Also why has no one mentioned Dimmsdale had a theme park before now?

All in all, not a good episode. I was looking forward to the return of the Fair Bears, and it felt like they weren’t even in half of the episode. The rest was another boring camping storyline, which these two seem to do a lot of huh?

Paired with Fancy Schmancy, as the production order says, I think the whole 30 min episode is completely weak and not great. This one was bad, the other was filler, so together they are just not meshing well at all.

#Fairly Odd Parents #Fairly Oddparents #fop #kp talks fop #review #mega dump

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itsybitsylemonsqueezy · 7 years

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Gotham 4x05: A Liveblog

Phew... long, long day, super delayed liveblog, but here it is, in all its glory. And frankly, after last time, I am not hoping for much : |

TL;DR - So there was a footrub and- HEY LET’S TALK ABOUT SOLOMON GRUNDY!

You know I’m disappointed in Gotham when I have not been chomping at the bit to see the next episode. If they get ANYTHING right today, I'll be pleased

Buuuutch :c my baby, my angel :cccc

...there’s literally location called “Slaughter Swamp” there’s literally... *throws book on floor* *walks out*

And yeah, I'm sure dumping a mostly dead body in... this swamp is Very Safe and will not lead to Anything Weird Ever. After all, it’s not like the waters in this town have literally resurrected people...

HARVEYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY. HARVEYYYYY *sobs* Oh god and you look so good and your boyfriend has been AN ALL TIME LOW recently and... HARVEYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY *cries into 50 pillows*

This season was supposed to be about you two getting married. And instead what do I get? The divorce. I fucking hate how this show writes Jim. HATE.

Is lil Bruce contemplating murder??? Daaaamn boy. Is this show finally actually going to become ABOUT Batman??? Am I actually going to start giving a fuck about Bruce? Jesus, how the turn tables.

Side note: David was younger here, they shot this episode earlier, not later

MMMM, all them good funeral feels for Bruce, MMMMMM. This is fine. I’m sure he’s... fine.

Jim what the fuck, fuck off. None of your shit now.

Oh my GOD Jim, you’re going to lecture ALFRED about PARENTING??? JIM. JIM. REMEMBER WHAT YOUR USELESS ASS WAS DOING FOR LITERALLY ALL OF LAST SEASON? IT WASN’T FUCKING HELPING BRUCE. FUCK YOU.

Why this show is choosing to make me hate Jim is beyond me. Holy fuck.

Bruce, I know you’re not Batman yet but... Batman is No Killing for a reason buddy. *pets* You gotta learn that lesson.

Babs hair this season continues to be... I don’t even know what her style is this season

HOLY FUCK WHY IS RA’S IN A HANNIBAL CAGE. HOLY FUCK OH MY GOD. OH MY GOD.

How Hannibal is this show going to get??? HOly SHIT.

Don’t tell me they gave Babs the fucking “soft paper, no clips, no staples, do not accept anything he hands you” rules (that BY THE BY we used on Frank too and that will NEVER stop being hysterical, although most of you are probably not in that fandom) too??/ HOLY FUCK WHAT THE SHIT

RA’S IS NOT A SERIAL KILLER, HOW THE FUCK DO YOU JUSTIFY THIS... WHAT THE FUCK OH MY GOD

I want to be paid a dollar every time Gotham borrows from Hannibal because... WOW. wow.

Jesus Fucking Christ What Even Just Happened

Oh thank GOD we’re back in Slaughter Swamp, I’m so sorry for what I said about you earlier, NEVER MIND, you are MUCH better than that, VERY welcoming, bless you Slaughter Swamp

...is that Oswald’s murder trailer? Welp, for the purposes of amusing myself, I’m just going to say that it is. Just come full circle on it. That trailer stays in the family.

Apparently none of you have seen Frankenstein or you would know not to wave fire at the recently returned from the dead : ||||

That... I guess that’s as good a way to get a name as any

*groaning about Sofia’s existence*

Is it an f or a ph? does anyone know? Meh

Mmmm... Oswald’s twitchy, he makes bad decisions when he’s twitchy. Of course, why Oswald should be twitchy now is a mystery. I can only hope the decision to abandon Ed isn’t sitting well with him. BUT that might make Too Much Sense because Fuck This Show

Hi Ed. I see your pill addiction is... still a thing. I’m not sure how i feel about the fact that you turn to drugs when you can’t handle shit.

...okay, I kinda love that Ed is now bad at everything in a new and entirely understandable way, as opposed to when he was bad at everything but we were SUPPOSED to think he was oh so smart (personally I think there are WAY better writing angles in that in regards to hubris and you know... actual fucking development but, WHATEVER writers, you do you). I have no idea where this will eventually lead, probably nowhere, because this show sucks and is determined not to make any progress of any kind but rather run us round and round in the same circles for all eternity, but this gets props for being entertaining if nothing else

“Butch, I have never had an issue with you” ...Ed. Edddddd. I’m. I’m just going to sit here silently.

Butch, I love you to death, you are everything, please drag Ed, both figuratively and literally, back to your cave and fix him. I love you so so much, please take care of him and then the two of you can be bros for life

Niiiiice, Alfred in his casual Night on the Town clothes, mmhmmmmmm

JIM SHUT YOUR FUCKING USELESS WHORE MOUTH YOU SELF-ABSORBED PRICK, YOU ARE NOTHING BUT DEAD WEIGHT TO EVERYONE HERE, DON’T YOU DARE PRESUME TO TELL ALFRED HOW TO PARENT YOU UNWANTED CODPIECE

NANANANANANANANA BATHOOK!

...you’re kidding me, I’m supposed to believe Bruce has memorized the changing of the guard at Blackgate? *siiiiiigh*

...yes, I also keep my ceremonial murder weapons stuffed down my shirt. It’s almost like you need a utility belt or something

I hope to god Sean flubbed that line and everyone just went with it

“Under crackers” is now the only way I am going to refer to my under garments and/or genitals

...OKAY SO GRUNDYGMA IS THE NEW NYGMOBBLEPOT WE ALL KNOW THAT RIGHT?

Holy shit, I thought y’all were just being crack but THIS IS SUDDENLY THE BEST THING ABOUT THIS SHOW I AM IN LOVE THIS IS PERFECT PLEASE GOD MAY THEY NOT RUIN IT IMMEDIATELY

Holy shit, ONE good scene, ONE good fucking scene in A MILLION years, oh... sweet jesus THANK YOU, I’ve waited SO LONG for literally ANYTHING to be good again and HERE IT IS

Uhhh... is Sofia gonna murder Oswald over lunch? Because if so: No.

Oh boy, back to overplot

...okay, I have no idea what to make of Ra’s al Ghul, if he’s lying or not, not a clue

Ed... Ed you REALLY need friends right now, would you please just TRY to human being for a second. Jesus. You’re stupid and you’re still SO BAD at EVERYTHING.

Awww, see, there you go! There you go sweetie, you can be friends!You can do it, good job not letting your only friend burn to death, that’s a good step forward!

Uhhhhhh oh, Oswald’s having mom feels. Oh boy.

Alfred, confirmed 300% more useful than Jim ever was

Poor Oswald... damn, without an Ed as a clutch for balance, Oswald’s spinning his wheels. This is 100% what I expected when the season started, but I”m a little upset at the pacing. This should have been obvious and building from day 1 and AGAIN, LAST episode should have had a VERY different emotional tenor. His limp is also atrocious right now, he’s very stressed and jumpy and there are obvious reasons why, but they haven’t PLAYED any of them, which is annoying.

...

. . .

The List Of Things I Could Say Right Now. I’m Just.

do you know who fucking else has seen Oswald’s fe-EDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

ALL OF THE ANGRY GIFS IN THE WORLD CANNOT EXPRESS MY RAGE

So uh... are you a mummified corpse in all reflective surfaces and you’ve just been avoiding mirrors, or does this trick only work in puddles?

...really milking that death there Alexander. Which is fair, this is a comic book show after all.

GREAT acting on David’s part tho, mad props

Yes, yes, cute jaw drop, very hammy, good job

Jim, I’m pretty sure this is the first time you two have spoken in like... 2 seasons. Just saying. you don’t know each other that well... or at all really.

Also, I‘m not positive killing someone who was immortal and who wanted to die is really murder either. Especially considering he was The Worst. Like... you shouldn’t feel bad, at all, that he’s dead, you’ve actively saved lives by killing him. Even if this is murder, I”m just saying... probably the best murder you could have done. Good job Bruce? Meh, I really don’t have any investment in this storyline, I'll be real.

Ed, why must you lie to your own and only friend? Why Ed? *siiiigh* Baby steps of friendship I guess, baby steps

...annnnnnnnnnnd there it is.

Knew it was too good to be true, couldn’t have ANYTHING nice this season could we. No, no of course not. Ooof course not.

May the all-consuming void swallow me up whole so I don’t have to deal with This.

#Gotham spoilers #Gotham liveblog #Gotham 4x05 #I am half rage half joy #PART of this was nice #part of this was THE WORST EVER

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allycat · 7 years

Note

for the OC questions: could you answer like as many as you want to about Emiya?

Oh friend you picked a good’n! And I will do all of them. Because I love Emiya, she is my precious child.

Personal

1) Age?

Technically she’s somewhere around 2700 due to the enchantment Sparrow put on her to make her immortal, but appearance wise she’s 31

2) Gender?

Female

3) Romantic/Sexual Orientation?

Incredibly gay

4) Height?

4′10″

5) Race?

Human

6) What do they look like? (i.e, hair color, eye color, etc).

She’s got green eyes, incredibly pale skin, fiery red hair that shimmers golden under the light and reaches her mid-back, and a faced scar on her cheek and another on her chin

7) Any disabilities?

None to speak of

8) Is there a meaning to their name?

Not particularly, her full name is Emiya VanSoren, her brother’s name is Ellisar, so I guess you could say the VanSorens all have names beginning with E {Their mother was named Elia}

9) What makes them, them?

Emiya has been given the title “The literal ball of sunshine” because of how cheery she is. She is overly happy in almost every situation, so much so that it’s almost like she sucks the happiness from everyone else around her and uses it for her own. The only time she’s not happy is when someone tries to hurt her brother Ellisar, or her wife Shaandara. When that happens, she shows off how she became “the most powerful sorceress on Nostra” unleashing the full potential of her magic on whoever tried to hurt Ellisar or Shaandara.

10) What do they want to be when they grow up/what do they want to do with their lives?

When she was a child, she wanted to study at a magic college, when she was studying at a magic college she became disillusioned with the rules and strictures of the college and wanted to wander, discovering different ways to use magic, when she was wandering, she wanted to be the first sorcerer to be able to use magic without a wand/staff, when she discovered wandless magic she wanted to be the first person to invent a new school of magic in two thousand years, and now that she’s done that, she’s fighting alongside sparrow, shaandara, Astrid, Valkaer and Ellisar to keep her planet safe.

Family

11) Do they have parents? What are they like and how do they act with their child(ren)?

Emiya never knew her mother, she was, like her brother, the product of rape. Elia died giving birth to Emiya, and she never knew who her father was, Ellisar told her when they were reunited as adults that she didn’t need to know because he was already dead.

12) Do they have siblings? How do they interact with them? If not, do they wish they had siblings?

They do! Ellisar VanSoren is her older brother, and is basically the polar opposite of her. Where Emiya is super happy and cheery all the time, Ellisar is more pessimistic, they hate people because they don’t understand people, so they opt to stick more to their work, tinkering with inventions. Though they would never admit it openly, Ellisar loves their little sister and would fight an army to protect her, even though they know she of all people doesn’t need protection, they still feel the need to protect their baby sister.

Emiya, despite being four years younger, and a foot shorter than Ellisar still refers to them as her little brother.

13) Extended family? Do they see them often?

Emiya’s extended family are unknown to her, if she does have aunts or uncles or cousins, neither knows the other exists.

14) Do they like where they live? (Is it a safe place?)

They live in one of two places, Sparrow’s cathedral on Norhaanos, which is magically protected, and Shaandara’s quarters in the underground headquarters of The Obsidian Blade, the assassins guild in Sorthros. Though she prefers the cathedral because it’s close to a beach that has a view of the sunset and you can see the opal keep from the bell tower, she enjoys the closeness of the obsidian blade lair, how everything is enclosed, everything is set, she knows every corner, knows every face.

15) Where do they live? Are they wealthy? Poor? Middle-Class?

Emiya herself has no gold, she has no need for gold. Anything any of the group needs they get from Shaandara or Valkaer, whose combined wealth is in the millions of gold, purely from their work running The Obsidian Blade

16) Do they have a lot of expectations/pressure on them from family to do great?

Emiya’s adoptive family were the ones who enabled her to go to a magic college in the first place, they urged her to be the best she could be, but they never lived to see her reach that goal. They were alive when she discovered wandless magic, but that was during a time when sorcery was being outlawed in Sorthros, so her parents urged her to hide her abilities, despite her already being world famous. When the sorcerers fought back against the laws that would make them criminals for existing, and won the fight, her parents had already died from old age.

17) Do they have pets?

She doesn’t have a pet of her own, however Valkaer did take in an injured lesser chimaera pup that she named Xander who lives in the cathedral and has bonded with Emiya

18) Who do they look up to the most/are the closest to in their family?

Ellisar is the only real family she has left, but she looks to her friends as her family now, Sparrow is the one she looks up to most, for how she keeps fighting, keeps pushing forward through everything. She’d never admit it, but Sparrow is the reason Emiya is able to stay positive, because she knows, as long as Sparrow is around, things won’t stay bad forever.

19) This there anything special about their family?

Emiya and Ellisar are both geniuses in their respective fields, Emiya is the most powerful sorcerer to ever live, and Ellisar is a genius who revolutionised technology on the planet. Ellisar is basically a one-person industrial revolution.

20) Do they wish they lived in a different family/household?

Not for a single second

Friends

21) Best Friend(s)?

Shaandara and Astrid

22) Who was their first friend?

An elf sorcerer in training named Ro’qhash

23) What is their friend group like?

Three elves, three humans, all of them immortal.

24) Do they have a love/hate relationship with any of them?

I don’t think Emiya has the capacity to hate

25) Do they consider any of their friends to be like siblings?

Every single one of them.

26) Have they ever hurt a friend or lost one?

Ro’qhash, their first friend, was the first victim of Emiya’s full potential, the first time she realised it, she couldn’t contain it, and the resulting catastrophe killed Ro’q and six other people around her.

27) Do they have a crush on any of their friends?

Well I mean they married one of them, so..

28) Do they share classes with good friends?

She was in two classes with Ro’q when she was in college. History of Sorcery and Primal Magics

29) Whom do they go to the most when they need a shoulder to cry on?

Ellisar

30) What would this person do without their friends in their lives?

Fight as hard as she can to get them back.

School

31) What grade are they in? If they aren’t in school, how come?

They left school after two years to wander the planet in search of more practical ways to use her magic.

32) Do/Did they like their teachers? Was there a good one? Bad one?

For the most part she liked them, there were a few classes she dreaded going to, but there weren’t really any bad teachers.

33) Do/Did they listen to their teachers or are/where they goofing off a lot?

She goofed off a lot in certain classes. When there were Primal Magics classes on Fire magic or Earth magic she didn’t even pay attention due to her being a fire and earth adept.

34) Are/Where they a good student grade wise?

She got good grades in most things, except for divination and abjuration classes.

35) Do/Did they need extra help?

With Abjuration in particular she needed help, barriers were never her strongest suit, but in time she learned to conjure passable barriers.

36) What is/was their school like?

She attended one of the most prestigious magic colleges on Nostra, most of the students were nobles, same went for the teachers. So having a lowborn like her show up ruffled a few feathers, but she was accepted when people saw how much potential she had

37) Do/Did they have bullies in school?

All the time. Especially in her school there were jinxes and hexes thrown left and right

38) Have they ever gotten into a fight at school?

They once set a student’s robes on fire for bullying her best friend and then quenched the flames by opening the earth below their feet and burying them up to their neck in soil

39) Have they ever done something stupid/embarrassing at school?

She once streaked on a dare through the opening ceremony of her second year for free chocolate for a year

40) How far do they plan to go with school? If they dropped out, do they want to go back?

She’s considered going back to teach at some point, but right now her focus is on defending the planet.

Other

41) Are they dating anyone? Do they want to date? Are the married? Divorced?

She’s married to Shaandara!

42) What is their favorite hobby? Do they keep it a secret?

She really likes papercraft, give her a piece of parchment and she’ll idly start folding it and making animals with it

43) If they could have one thing in life, what would it be?

She doesn’t really want for anything, she kind of has everything she wants, she has a family, she has a wife, she has safety and a stable home. She’s just happy with her current situation

44) Do they work? If so, what is it? If not, are they looking for one or even want one?

They’re currently working as one of the six people who defend Nostra from demons

45) Do they use social media?

Nostra is a fantasy world, what’s a social media?

46) Have they ever been in the hospital?

She’s been to see a fair number of healers in her life, she’s powerful but healing magic isn’t something she’s very good at, she can do it, sure, but it’s her weakest school, and she’s too nervous to do it to herself.

47) Do they believe in the supernatural, that there is more than the eye can see?

She’s actually been to three of the four different planes of existence, one of which being the plane of undeath, she’s seen the wraiths that exist in the world beyond the veil, she firmly believes in the supernatural.

48) What do they do when they get angry, stressed, or upset?

Chocolate. That’s her secret.

49) Would they consider themselves as a good person, bad person, or morally grey?

She likes to imagine that she’s a good person but has trouble believing it because of certain things that she’s done that she feels cements her as irredeemably evil

50) Does this OC have any part of you in them? (I.e, personality traits, similar background, etc)

Not really. Emiya is the kind of person I wish I could be, a person who is truly happy even in the darkest of moments, who has a dark past, that remains as a dark cloud over her head, but she manages to push past that and smile, because the world already has enough sadness in it, and she’ll be damned if she’s going to add more onto that. So she smiles, she tries to bring joy where she goes, because she just wants to see the world be a little bit brighter than it was the day before.

Thanks anon!!

#Anonymous #oc emiya

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frop · 8 years

Note

do all of them you mother fucker

not Once but Twice u have done this to m

Star Platinum – Your thoughts on the stars? i always did like then when i was younger but now they just make me think of jojo so now i especially like them

Magician’s Red – Do you know any magic tricks? no but im gonna say what u said and i can bend my fingers waay way farther than most people

Hermit Purple – Show a photo of yourself! I HAVENT taken a selfie in forever i’ll do one later

Silver Chariot (Requiem) – How much sleep do you need on average? i would love a good 10+ but i only get that much on saturday now boo but on average its like 6-7

The Fool – Tell us a joke! Is your refrigerator running? Because i’m gonna suck your dick

The World - A place you want to visit? canada like you would not believe

Crazy Diamond – What do you treasure the most? hmmmmmmm my friendships with my friends

The Hand – Do you like your hands? nnnot particularly bc i spent a good portion of my life and still do sometimes where i bit my nails til they bleed so they dont look as nice as i’d like them to be when they grow out

Echoes – Your favourite sound? The world’s time stop sound, but not jotaro’s version, dio’s specifically

Heaven’s Door – Share a secret! my parents’ divorce has made me scared for the future of my own relationships to the point where i can see myself not ever wanting to be in a relationship ever again bc it would be easier than my partner getting tired of me or hating me. on top of the fact that i’m almost exactly like my father and my mom’s ex fiance in every single emotional department which is what caused their divorce/breakup respectively in the first place and that leads me to believe that in the long run i am Romantically Unlovable

Killer Queen – How would you like to die? preferably quick and painless

Bad Company – What kind of character trades do you dislike? any character that is like ‘waahh wah no one understands me bc i enjoy [’highly advanced’ niche series/book/etc] and they all read [popular series/book/etc] like whatever the fuck his name was in aku no hana, it got so obnoxious i had to drop it lmao

Red Hot Chili Pepper – Can you handle spicy food? cat’s out of the bag guys im actually a Fake Mexican bc i only like mild stuff and hot chips

The Lock – Anything you feel guilty about right now? ya but thats for another day

Love Deluxe – Are you secretly in love with someone right now? its absolutely no secret that i am in love with jonathan joestar

Pearl Jam – Your signature dish? i can make some mean ass rice apparently

Achtung Baby – Do you want kids? nnnope no thanks never ever i have my cat and thats enough for me

Harvest – Do you pick up coins in from the street? no bc u dont know where thats been and money is super dirty already

Cinderella – Which part of your body do you like the most? dang, i guess my thighs? but lately i’ve been a lot easier on myself abt my stomach and how soft it is

Atom Heart Father – How is your relationship with your father? pretty good bc we’re really alike in temperament too but sometimes it gets pretty awkward bc he can never see me as anything but his little baby daughter who Never Grows Up

Enigma – What is puzzling you currently? when is davidpro gonna drop the part 5 teaser

Earth Wind and Fire – What’s the best classical element? i personally have always liked fire

Stray Cat – Cats or dogs? i love both but man im more suited for cats

Gold Experience – A precious experience you have not shared with your followers? oh man over this summer my dad his gf and me and my sis when on a trip to her dad’s place in this really small town that was like 3 hours away from our city and it was so nice and quiet and peaceful and i felt so clean and happy there, we were only there for a couple days but ever since i’ve really been wanting to go back

Sticky Fingers – Zippers or buttons? zippers are so much faster but they get caught sometimes so Really, pros and cons of each

Moody Blues – A song that makes you sad? OOO man i was gonna say epitaph bc Of Course but as i was writing this down melancholy man by moody blues came up on this playlist and now im thinkin abt abba and crying

Sex Pistols – Have you ever shot a gun or riffle? no im tiny and a weenie and i would probably die from the recoil

Aerosmith – Are you afraid of flights? ive never been on one but i am scared of heights so i cant imagine thats any better

Purple Haze – What makes you really angry? it used to be not being listened to but now i just let it happen bc Why bother but now its more whenever my mom makes a big deal out of simple mistakes of waiters/waitresses or when shes being obviously racist

Spice Girl – Your favourite spice? idk what its called but theres this one i like to put on fruit before i eat it to make it Spicy

King Crimson – Is it possible to predict the future? man idk my mom says yea but who knows

Black Sabbath – How easily do you trust people? like stupidly easy

Man in the Mirror – Do you like looking into the mirror? nope lol im ugl. ALSO bc i have a bigger than average fear of reflective stuff in general bc what if i see somethign behind me u kno,,,,

Beach Boy – Have you ever been fishing? nope! the one time my dad went that i knew abt i was in mexico

The Grateful Dead – What do you want to be remembered for? honestly, anything else that being the ‘way too nice one’ or the doormat

White Album – Your favourite CD? aaaaa i dont have one i dont really listen to albums

Talking Head – Are you a good liar? i guess ? i can keep a pretty straight face but its harder to lie to someone i actually know really well bc they can probably tell what my tics are

Baby Face – Your thought on babies? theyre cute but i would greatly prefer to never have any

Metallica – Do you like listening to metal? yea

Green Day – Ideal way to spend a day off? sleep, Sleep, stream with friends and lay in bed

Oasis – Best place for a holiday? hhhhh anyplace that relaxes u tbh

Stone Free – Are you a indoor or outdoor person? i n d o o r i dont like bugs

Kiss – Who would you like to kiss or get a kiss from? jonathan joest

Burning Down the House – Ever destroyed something and then regretted it? nah, once again im a weenie and im too worried abt consequences to ever do smth like that

Foo Fighters – Your favourite drink? god damn i fucking love raspberry iced tea

Diverdown – Your thoughts on diving? the ocean fills me with the fear of god. no thanks

C-Moon – What would you do for your friend’s sake? put myself in bodly harm

MadeinHeaven – What do you believe happens after you died? nothing tbh you just end up in a grave or urn or wherever u wanted to be put

Weather Report – Your favourite weather? man i looove love stormy weather

Whitesnake – Your thoughts on snakes/reptiles? i love them theyre all gorgeous and beautiful

Tusk – Tea or coffee? coffee

Ball Breaker – Your favourite ball game? to play? its basket ball but to watch baseball

Oh! Lonesome Me – Do you feel lonely right now? no not right now but im sure it’ll happen soon

Scary Monsters – Your favourite dinosaur? i love velociraptors and also triceratops !!

Cream Starter – Do you usually wear make up? nope and if i do its only ever lipstick

Catch the Rainbow – Your favourite colour in the rainbow? blue and green!!

Ticket to Ride – What was the last ticket you bought for? i didnt buy it but the last one i had was for the rogue one like. 2 weeks ago

Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap – Do you believe in the multiverse? i dont think abt it too often but sure

In a Silent Way – Do you enjoy complete silence? yes!! besides some music, i cant concentrate otherwise

Soft & Wet – Shower or bath? shower bc its easier but i havent taken a bath in forever

Paisley Park – How good are you with reading maps/directions? Terrible God Awful

Nut King Call – How good are you at assembling/constructing things like Ikea furniture? hmm it depends if i have the manual for it and if i have time to really think on it and im not in a rush or anything

Paper Moon King – Can you do any origami? nope

King Nothing – Your favourite smell? i really like the smell of cinnamon

BornThisWay – A strange habit you have? i crack my fingers all the damn time and i like to take off the little plastic circle off of soda bottles and chew on it

Les Feulies – Your favourite plant? oh damn hmm i like lavenders

Fun Fun Fun – Something you really enjoy doing? man. i could watch jojo a million times over and i’d never get bored of it

California King Bed – What size is your bed? currently i sleep in a queen size bc my mom and sis and i share a bed bc we only had one room in our old apartment but now that we moved im sure i’ll be kicked off into a twin soon enough

JESUS christ ok its almost midnight i hope ur happy you mother fuckre

#asks #i didnt think it would take this long oh my fodgtrgwrgf #filmgold

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anavoliselenu · 7 years

Text

Anchor me chpter 5

I move slowly down, licking his skin, teasing the light smattering of hair on his chest. I flick my tongue over his nipple and am rewarded by the way he grabs my hair, his body stiffening beneath my hands that are sliding down his body, too, keeping time with the progress of my kisses. I go lower, dropping to my knees as I reach his navel. His abs are rock hard and the muscles quiver under my lips. I can tell I’m driving him crazy, and he tightens his grip on my hair even as his other hand reaches for the side of the stall to steady himself. Lower and lower, my lips teasing his skin, tracing that magical line of hair that leads from just below his navel all the way down to his cock. And when I reach it, thick and wet, I draw my tongue along the velvet steel as Justin moans under my ministrations. With purposeful slowness, I lick around the head, then flick the end of my tongue over the tip, tasting the pre-come. Then I draw him in, and as I do, the hand that Justin has twined in my hair shifts to the back of my head. At first he just holds me steady, but as I suck in long, deep strokes, he groans with satisfaction and longing, and tightens his grip. Right now, I’m the one in control, but I can feel that control slipping from me. No, not slipping. Justin is grabbing it by grabbing me—by holding tight to my hair and keeping me in place as he fucks my mouth, totally turning the tables on me. But I don’t care. I’m too turned on to care, and as his cock fills my mouth and water pounds down over us, I slip my hand between my legs and touch myself, then whimper softly. I’m slick and swollen and so turned on it’s painful, and as I suck my husband’s cock, I tease myself, seeking release. I’m close, too, so close I can feel electricity filling my body like an approaching thunderstorm. I can feel the tension building in Justin, too, and I know the explosion is coming. Doesn’t matter. He pulls back, leaving my mouth open in surprise. Then he pulls me to my feet and turns me around, his hands gliding over my wet skin as he spins me. “Hands on the wall,” he demands, and I comply eagerly as his fingers slide over my ass to find my core. And then his cock is there, and he’s pounding inside of me, his hands tight on my breasts as he orders me to “finish what you started, baby. Touch yourself. I want to feel you come with me.” I don’t hesitate, and as Justin’s wet body slaps against mine—as he thrusts deeper and deeper inside me—I tease my clit, feeling the shockwaves gather inside me, readying for an explosion. And when Justin’s body goes rigid—when he thrusts hard that one final time—when he releases completely inside me, that’s when I finally go over, my deep cry of satisfaction ringing out in harmony with his as our bodies shake and quiver together from the force of our simultaneous release. When the shockwaves have faded, he turns me gently in his arms, then rinses me off before shutting off the stream of warm water. He opens the door, and steam curls into the rest of the bathroom. He leads me out onto the fluffy bathmat, then uses a thick, cotton towel to dry me off. Only then do I lean my head back, smile, and speak to him for the first time. “Good morning, Mr. Stark.” “Yes,” he says, matching my grin. “It is.” “I figured since I can’t wake up with coffee, this was the next best thing.” I say it with a wink, and he chuckles. “Happy to be of service, Mrs. Stark.” “I’ll keep that in mind.” “I’ve read that pregnancy hormones make a woman wildly aroused,” he adds conversationally. “I thought I should mention that I’m always happy to help with whatever you need. Ice cream. A quickie on your office desk.” “Frozen Thin Mints?” I suggest. “I think that’s the first time I’ve been displaced by baked goods. Too bad it’s the wrong time of year for Girl Scout cookies. Besides, I thought your favorite guilty pleasure was frozen Milky Ways.” I lift a shoulder. “Who can understand cravings? But don’t worry. I won’t stop craving you.” He pulls me in for a long, slow kiss, before easing back and studying my face. “Now that, Mrs. Stark, is something I’m very, very glad to hear.” “When should we tell everyone?” I ask once we’re dressed and Justin is walking with me toward the foyer. “Part of me wants to wait until Monday after I see my own doctor. But I also want them to hear it from us, and not on social media.” “Most people don’t believe what they read online. Even Greystone-Branch asked you. They didn’t just assume.” “True. And I think the gossip may be mostly contained. That printout John showed me was from a Dallas gossip site. And Jamie didn’t say a word. And she absorbs gossip intravenously.” Justin tugs me to him for a quick kiss. “Then we’re probably safe waiting,” he says. “Why don’t we host a brunch on Sunday— mimosas for them, juice for you. Unless it comes up before, we’ll tell everyone then.” “Good. Sunday’s good. Before then, and it’s like we’re stealing Jane’s thunder. I want her to have the full princess treatment at the premiere on Friday.” “Sunday it is.” I hesitate. “Should we wait to tell Jackson and Syl, though? I mean, he’s your brother.” “And he’ll understand if we wait. Baby, everyone will understand.” He’s right. None of our friends or family will feel slighted by us choosing how we want to share our news. I just hope they hear it from us first. “All right,” I say. “Sunday.” I press the button for our private elevator, and it opens immediately. I step on, surprised when Justin follows me into the car. I’d expected him to walk through the corridor to his penthouse office suite. “Do you have outside meetings?” He flips the switch to lock the doors open. “I just wanted to say a proper goodbye to my wife,” he says, then draws me close for a kiss so full of heat and desire I think it’s going to take me the entire descent to recover. “Mmm,” I say when he breaks the kiss. “I have a phone conference at ten. I could text Marge and tell her I’m not coming in by nine, after all. I’m sure she’ll be fine with putting off reviewing everything on my calendar for this week.” Marge is the receptionist for the entire floor of office suites, but I also recently hired her as my part-time assistant. “Tempting,” he says, then brushes his lips over my ear. “But I’d hate to throw Marge off her game. I’ll see you tonight,” he says, “and we’ll finish what we started in the shower.” “I thought we finished just fine,” I tease. “Trust me, sweetheart.” His teeth tug gently on my earlobe. “That was just an appetizer.” “Oh.” I hold onto the handrail because I suddenly feel a little limp. “I’ll see both of you later,” he says as he flips the switch to release the doors. I laugh and then blow him a kiss as the doors slide closed. And the last thing I see before he disappears completely is a smug smile filled with the promise of things to come. Honestly, I can hardly wait.

I’m still smiling as the elevator doors slide open in the lobby. Normally, I’d just take the elevator all the way to the parking garage, but I’d started to feel nauseous during the descent, and I thought maybe a muffin would stave off morning sickness. So I head toward Java B’s, the little coffee shop in the Stark Tower lobby. Unfortunately, the line is at least a mile long, but since it’s a gorgeous summer morning, I opt to go outside to the cafe’s outdoor kiosk. I head that way, calling out a quick good morning to Joe at the security desk as I head toward the revolving door. “Welcome back, Mrs. Stark,” he says. “Thanks, Joe.” I’m about to ask if he’d like me to grab him a coffee, but I end up choking on the words. Because right there on the other side of the glass I see the familiar dark hair, trim figure, and sharp cheekbones of a woman who so closely resembles Audrey Hepburn that she often turns heads on the street. Giselle Reynard. Immediately, my stomach lurches, and I’m suddenly glad I haven’t eaten that muffin. What the hell is she doing here? And not just in Los Angeles, but at Stark Tower? Justin had sent her very firmly away before he and I were even married. The bitch had not only told the press that Justin had paid a million dollars for a nude portrait of me, but she’d also floated bullshit stories to the media, including the ridiculous rumor that Justin, Jamie, and I were having a three-way. She’d been in the middle of a divorce, desperate and hurting for money, but as far as I’m concerned, what she did was unforgivable. Justin had bought out her art galleries and agreed not to sue her for defamation if she got the hell out of Los Angeles and didn’t look back. The last I heard, she was in Florida. Apparently, she decided to tempt fate by returning. I don’t realize that I’ve stopped dead until the mechanical voice of the revolving door chides me to “Please keep moving”. I take a step forward, then another. I’m actually considering just making the full circle back to the lobby when Giselle looks up, sees me, and flashes a tentative smile. Well, fuck. I step out of the safety of the door and into the bustle of a city coming to life. People scurrying into the building. Horns blaring. A news helicopter overhead. And Giselle, hurrying over to meet me, her smile just a little too bright. “Selena,” she says. “Congratulations.” “Excuse me?” My voice is cold. Hard. She swallows, her smile faltering. “I heard that you’re pregnant,” she says, dashing my hopes that the gossip was localized in Dallas. “Or is that just a rumor?” I raise a brow. “A rumor? Who would be vile enough to start rumors about me? Especially about something personal.” Her shoulders sag. “Do you want me to say I’m sorry again? I am. I was a mess back then. I had so many debts, and I was so scared that everything was going to come crashing down around my shoulders.” Her mouth twists ironically. “And then it all did crash, and I survived. And I realized that now I have to live with every horrible thing I did during those dark days. So if you hate me, that’s okay. I deserve it.” I exhale slowly. “I don’t hate you, Giselle. I did,” I admit. “But now you’re not even on my radar.” My words are biting, and I expect to see the force of them cut through her. Instead, she just nods as if she understands completely. Hell, maybe she does. Maybe she really is contrite. I don’t know. Honestly, I don’t much care. All I know is that she went out of her way to hurt not just me but also my relationship with Justin. And not even out of spite or jealousy, but simply to push her own self-interests. Even if she is in a better place now, that doesn’t mean I’m ready to forgive. “Why are you here, Giselle?” I demand. “I have an appointment. With Justin.” “You set up an appointment with Justin?” I can’t believe he didn’t tell me he was going to meet with Giselle. “Not with him. Through his assistant.” I nod, relieved. Rachel was only working weekends when I was dating Justin. Odds are she doesn’t even remember the drama that Giselle caused back then. She glances at her watch. “I should go. She squeezed me in at eight-thirty. I told her I was only in town for the morning and, well, I don’t want to be late.” The corner of her mouth quirks up. “I have a feeling Justin will be as enthusiastic about seeing me as you are.” Her voice is high and self-deprecating. “And I don’t need to add fuel to an already unpleasant fire by being late. But, seriously,” she adds, her tone shifting toward sincere, “congratulations. I’m happy for both of you. Truly.” With a final apologetic smile, she scurries inside. I stand there for a minute, trying to recall why I’d come onto the plaza in the first place. Muffin, I remember and take a step toward the kiosk. “A latte, Mrs. Stark?” the barista asks, but I shake my head. Right now, the idea of food sitting heavy in my stomach sounds like the most horrible thing ever. “No,” I say. “Never mind, I’m good.” But I’m not good, and that bothers me. Because I can’t deny that seeing Giselle has cast a gray pallor over an otherwise beautiful day. 10 What have you ever earned on your own? The vile words flash at me from my cell phone as I enter my office building. Another anonymous message. Another stab to my gut. I’d ultimately decided that the first message in Dallas was from another applicant for the Greystone-Branch position. Maybe someone trying to psych me out. Someone who didn’t realize I’d already finished the interview. I’d pushed it out of my mind, and since there’d been no repeat, I’d forgotten to mention it to Justin. Maybe I would have remembered if I weren’t pregnant, in a public spotlight, and crying at my sister’s grave, but all of that drama pushed one vile text message right out of my head. Now, it’s back, front and center and with traveling companions. And I know that I need to tell Justin. I’m about to call him, but then I remember that he had to face Giselle this morning. Considering the negative impact she’d had on my mood, I expect that Justin will be equally put out. And hearing that I have a new pen pal isn’t going to make him happy either. I slip my phone back into my bag and make a mental note to tell him tonight. I’m already reconsidering if I should call him now when the elevator stops at my floor, and I step off, ready to toss a smile to Marge. But instead of Marge at the reception desk, I see a tiny little girl with big blue eyes and coal-black hair. She sits up straighter when she sees me, picks up a pencil, and says very clearly, “May I help you?” “Why, yes,” I say. “I’m looking for Selena Stark. I have an appointment with her.”

From the corner of my eye, I see my sister-in-law, Sylvia, fighting a grin from where she’s sitting on the reception room sofa holding the baby, Jeffery, in her lap. Ronnie giggles, then sighs. “No, no, Aunt Selena. That’s wrong. You can’t be looking for yourself.” I let my eyes go wide. “You’re right! How did you get to be so smart, anyway?” She slides off the chair and trots around the desk toward me, then shrugs. “I just am.” “You just are?” I repeat. “You just are?” I raise my voice to a tease, and at the same time rush forward to scoop her up, lift her into my arms, and twirl her around. She squeals with delight. “Faster, Aunt Selena! Faster!” But faster isn’t in the program today because my ever-present nausea has decided to pay a visit, and so I plunk us both down on the couch beside Syl. Ronnie immediately scrambles out of my lap and goes back to Marge’s desk because “I’m supposed to be in charge until she comes back.” I meet Syl’s eyes, and see that she’s trying not to laugh. “Marge is in Peter’s office,” she explains, referring to the freelance graphic artist who has the smallest office suite on this floor. “She asked Ronnie to watch the desk while she gathered some papers to forward to him in Maryland.” “His mother asked him to fly out and help her move,” I comment. “Mine didn’t even send a change of address postcard.” Syl frowns. “What?” I wave away the words, then pull one of my feet up onto the couch. My ankles have been aching all morning. “Never mind. It’s not important. I’m much more interested in holding this little guy.” I reach for Jeffery as Syl lifts him to his feet, and he toddles over the sofa cushions to plunk down in my lap. “Ni-Ni!” he says with a big grin, and I pull him in and cuddle him close, then press kisses all over those adorable baby cheeks. “So why are you here?” I ask. “Oh. Well. Ronnie has a two-week summer camp in Burbank, and Stella has a doctor’s appointment,” she adds, referring to her nanny. “I took the morning off to bring Ronnie, and since we were nearby, and . . .” She trails off, her cheeks going pink. I sit back with sudden understanding, Jeffery snuggled in my arms. I flash a wide smile and then lift a shoulder in a small shrug. “We were going to invite you to brunch on Sunday and tell you then. I didn’t want to steal Jane’s thunder before the premiere.” Syl looks like she’s about to say something, but right then Marge comes back into the room, and Ronnie scurries around the desk to cling to her mom’s legs. “Come on,” I say, standing and balancing Jeffery on my hip. “Let’s go into my office.” I have a basket of crayons, coloring books, and Lego Duplos that I keep for the kids, and Ronnie immediately races toward it. I put Jeffery down beside her, and when I turn around, Syl engulfs me in a hug. “Congratulations,” she says, giving me a squeeze before she steps back and grins broadly. “I’m so happy for you guys!” “I’m a terrible sister-in-law,” I say, and Syl laughs. “We should have called you and Jackson first thing.” “You’re fine. I’m just nosy.” I laugh as she settles into one of my guest chairs. “Nosy,” she repeats, “and maybe a little concerned.” She wrinkles her nose apologetically, but I get where she’s coming from. Syl’s mother isn’t quite the nightmare mine is, but it’s fair to say that we’ve both had our share of parental issues. She doesn’t know all the details about my life growing up, but she was in the thick of it when I was planning my wedding. So she knows enough to understand that I have issues with my mom—and to know that the idea of being a parent myself would make me nervous. “Thanks,” I say sincerely. “But I’m fine. Truly,” I add when she just watches me, her expression suggesting she’s assessing my veracity. “I was freaked at first—this was entirely unexpected—but now I’m kind of floating.” Sylvia’s smile lights up the room. “I know what you mean, both of mine were unexpected, though in entirely different ways.” I laugh. Ronnie is Jackson’s biological daughter, and when Sylvia and Jackson first got together, Syl had no idea the little girl existed. As for Jeffery, he and my little peanut have conception-by-failed-birth-control in common. “I would have called yesterday, but I didn’t realize that the news had spread outside of Dallas. Jamie called me before my interview and didn’t say a thing, so I just figured the gossip was localized.” I frown, because Jamie’s the most tied-in person I know. She’s been addicted to social media and the internet for years, but now she’s even more obsessive about checking all the gossip sites. She calls it “professional research” and “staying on top of her game”. So surely she would have seen the coverage. After all, the odds of Sylvia noticing and Jamie remaining clueless are slim to none. So surely she knew. But why the hell didn’t she say anything about the baby? “It’s not too widespread,” Syl says, interrupting my thoughts. “That’s actually why I wasn’t sure. I’ve seen a couple of mentions that you fainted on the lawn of your family home—true?” I roll my eyes. “Yes and no. It used to be my family home, but apparently my mother has moved on.” Syl opens her mouth, ostensibly to ask me about that, but I just wave the words off, because I’m really not in the mood to even think about that woman. “They’re just covering the fainting?” I ask. “I should have gone online myself, but I didn’t have the stomach for it.” “Mostly just that,” she says. “But I’ve seen one or two sites that say you’re pregnant. Nothing reliable, though. Jackson said it was probably all bullshit, but I guess I had a feeling. I’ve seen you go through some pretty rough stuff, you know, and you’re really not the fainting type.” I laugh so hard that Ronnie looks up, startled. But Syl is right. Since she was Justin’s assistant before he and I got married, she had a bird’s-eye view of our tumultuous relationship—and the obsessive, horrible, invasive tabloid coverage we’d been subjected to. “Oh, hell,” she says, glancing at her watch. “I need to get the princess to art class.” Across the room, Ronnie stands up, her hands on her little hips. “Mommeeeee. I’m not a princess! I’m a mermaid!” “I thought you were a mermaid princess,” Syl says, and Ronnie just rolls her eyes. I watch, soaking it all in, and imagining a day when I can tease my own daughter like that. And, yes, wondering if I’ll know how. Because God knows, there wasn’t ever a whit of humor between my mother and me. “Toys back in the basket,” Syl orders. “Hurry up.”

“I can do it,” I say. “Trust me,” she says. “Start them early.” She reaches down, gathers up a few crayons, and scoops Jeffery up in a single practiced motion. As soon as he’s settled on her hip, she reaches a hand down for Ronnie, who reaches up at the same time to grab hold of her mother’s hand. My eyes sting, and I blink back tears. And though I totally blame it on hormones, I can’t deny that the simple, easy connection between mother and daughter has my heart twisting with both longing and regret. “Did you say something about brunch on Sunday?” Syl says as she shuffles her tribe toward the door. “Absolutely,” I say as my phone rings. “A small group. I’ll text you the time. You’re free?” “We’re totally in,” Syl says, then points to my phone. “Get to work and let me know if I should bring anything.” She blows me a kiss and disappears out my door. I grab the phone, expecting it to be the call I set up with a client in Seattle. Instead, it’s Justin. “Hi, stranger,” I say. “I was just going to text you. Syl was just—” “Selena,” he says, his voice firm enough to cut me off. “I’m so sorry.” “About what?” I say, then, “Oh! Giselle.” Seeing Sylvia and the kids had completely wiped her from my mind. “I had no idea she was back in town, much less that she’d made an appointment to see me.” “I know. She told me she went through Rachel.” “I was on the verge of throwing the bitch out of my office—” “Did she tell you what she wanted?” We’re talking over each other. Me, trying to sound like it doesn’t matter. Him, with latent fury tainting his voice. He’s known Giselle for years—they’d even dated for about five minutes before she got married. And he’d been sympathetic when she and Bruce had divorced. After all, she’d lost pretty much everything in their split. But then he’d learned that she was fucking with me—with us—and Justin had put all of his resources to work and essentially run the bitch out of town with her tail between her legs. I hear him exhale, and it sounds like defeat. “She wants to donate to the silent auction,” he says, referring to the fundraiser for the Stark Children’s Foundation that is part and parcel of the moviepremiere on Friday. “Oh.” His words surprise me. I’d expected—well, anything else. A request for a loan. To buy back one of her galleries. Simple forgiveness. Instead, she’s turned the tables. Instead of asking for help, she’s offering it. “Oh,” I say again. “Well, I guess you should agree.” Justin clears his throat. “I already did.” I start to say oh one more time, but force my lips to stay closed. He did exactly what I just told him to do, so it’s silly to be annoyed that he did it before asking me. But silly or not, I am irritated. Actually, I think I’m downright pissed. “I didn’t realize she’d managed to hang onto any of her pieces that were worth anything.” The words come out sounding false. Like I’m making conversation with a stranger in a bar. “She remarried,” Justin explains. “Not only is her husband wealthy, but he knows the parents of one of the kids in the bus.” Immediately, my irritation morphs into something more gentle. “That’s horrible. Those poor people.” The premiere is for The Price of Ransom, the film adaptation of Jane’s narrative nonfiction bestseller. It’s a story about five third-graders who’d been kidnapped and held for ransom, then almost killed when a rescue attempt went horribly wrong. The premiere—and all the activities surrounding it—is a fundraiser for the Stark Children’s Foundation, tickets for which start at five hundred dollars and go up to ten times that. “She and her husband are donating a Glencarrie,” he says, referring to an up-and-coming artist whose work has been garnering six figures at various auctions lately. “I told her we’d appreciate the donation, and that they’re welcome at the premiere. I’m sorry,” he says again, before I can reply. “I should have asked you first.” “No. Of course, it’s okay.” This time, I really mean it. She apologized, after all. And she’s donating a fortune to the foundation. “Besides, there’s going to be a huge crowd there. Maybe I won’t have to see her again.” Justin chuckles. “I love you.” “That’s a good thing, considering I’m having your baby.” “How are you feeling?” I can hear the shift in his tone. Just the mention of the baby has lifted both our moods. “Good, actually. I feel really good. Syl was just here, though. The word is out. You should call Jackson, and we should start telling our friends.” “Agree. They should hear it from us. We can tell them when we call to invite them over for brunch.” “And brunch will be one big celebration.” I glance at the clock. “I need to run. My client’s going to call any minute, and then I’m meeting Jamie for lunch. I’m going to try and work late and get caught up, but I may come home early.” “Pregnancy exhaustion?” “Try hormones,” I say. “And the way they’re hopping, you can expect me to jump you tonight.” “As I said, I’m always happy to help you with anything you need during your pregnancy.” “Very altruistic of you.” “Later, Mrs. Stark. And I’m looking forward to an evening of therapeutic aerobic activity.” I end the call and flip through my agenda for my notes. I’m still grinning when the phone chimes to signal an incoming text. I grimace, expecting that it’s my client texting to tell me the obvious—that he’s running incredibly late. But when I pull up the phone, it’s not my client. It’s not Justin either. Instead, it’s my new text stalker. And the message makes me cringe: What makes you think you deserve it? 11 I stare at the phone screen, bile churning in my gut. I hate this feeling—weak, exposed—and for one crazed moment, I imagine myself hurling my phone across the room to shatter against the far wall. I think about the hard plastic pieces, the raw edges as sharp as a knife. And I think about how I can get this churning, nasty feeling under control. How I can calm myself. Center myself. How I can use those shards of plastic as a lifeline to drag me back home. No, no, a thousand times no. That is not what I want. Cut, and whoever is baiting me wins. Cut, and I’ll destroy everything I’ve accomplished with Justin by my side. Most of all, if I cut, then what kind of model will I be for my child? I press my free hand over my belly, determined to safeguard this precious baby. This child I hadn’t expected but will now do anything to protect. What makes you think you deserve it? Once again, that vile message fills my head. I toss the phone on the desk and put both hands over my baby, then force myself to take deep breaths. I do deserve it, I think. I do, I do, I do. But deserve what?

The job? My baby? My marriage? “Oh, shit,” I whisper, as the synapses suddenly click into place. Giselle. It can’t be a coincidence that she showed up right about the time I got the first text. Can it? I whirl around for my phone. Maybe I’ve hesitated to tell Justin so far, but I can’t wait any longer. Not if it’s Giselle behind all of this. Giselle, worming her way into the fundraiser. Into our lives. But then I think about it, and Sofia seems an equally obvious suspect. Except that she’s all the way in the UK. So that probably takes her out of the running. Either way, I have to let Justin know. I snatch up the phone, then actually squeal when it rings in my hand. For a moment, I’m certain that it’s her, calling to torment me. To warn me to stay silent. That she has plans for me, and if I’m not careful, she’ll spill all of my secrets to the world. But then I see the caller ID—Ollie. Eagerly, I press the button to answer the call. At the same time, Marge buzzes the intercom. “Ollie, hang on. Yes, Marge?” “Your ten o’clock just called to cancel. Apparently, he had some unexpected travel.” “Tell him thanks for letting us know, and ask him to email me his availability.” “No problem.” She hangs up, and I move around my desk to collapse into my chair. It leans all the way back so that I can put my feet up, the kind of thing that would totally mortify my mother, but that I love. “Listen to you, big shot,” Ollie says. “Bossing around the assistant.” “You are such a jerk,” I say affectionately. “By the way, I saw your mom. She looks great.” “You did? Where?” “I was in Dallas. She didn’t tell you?” “I’m trying a fraud case in New York. I’m wasting precious lunch hour prep to call and congratulate you. And to make sure you aren’t a little bit weirded out.” I laugh, then put the phone on speaker so that baby Ashley can hear her uncle Ollie’s voice. We’ve had a few rough patches over the years, but at the heart of it, he’s still one of my best and oldest friends. And even though it took him a while to come around to Team Justin, I know that he’s not only got my back but that he truly understands that my husband does, too. “I appreciate the congrats. And, honestly, it was a shock at first, but now I’m looking forward to every step along the way.” “Pretty fast, though, right? I mean, it’s going to be over before you know it.” “Well, yeah.” I frown but decide that his odd questions stem from a Y-chromosome kind of place. “But that doesn’t mean I don’t want to savor the experience. Besides, nine months is almost a year. That doesn’t seem fast to me at all.” “Nine? I thought it was a six-month deal.” “Six? What—” I pull my feet off my desk and sit up. “Wait a sec, what are you talking about?” “Me?” he counters. “What are you talking about?” “The baby,” I say with a definite tone of duh in my voice. “Baby?” he asks, and I’m certain I can hear the wheels turning in his head. “You’re having a baby?” “I—yes. Wait. You really didn’t know?” “I had no idea. I told you—I’ve been buried in this trial. But, Selena! That’s amazing. Congratulations!” I draw in a breath, only then realizing how nervous I’ve been about his reaction. I grew up with Ollie, after all, and no one knows the extent of my family issues better than he does. “Thanks. I’m nervous,” I admit. “But mostly, I’m thrilled.” “You’re going to do great.” His gentle voice belongs to the Ollie of my childhood. The one who was always my champion. The best friend before Justin came along. I feel a little twist in my heart. Everything is fine between us now, but it will never be the same as it was. I don’t regret that, but sometimes I miss it. “And you’ll be a wonderful uncle,” I say. “Hell yeah, I will.” I laugh. “So what did you call to congratulate me for? There’s nothing else going on right now.” “For landing that contract with Greystone-Branch,” he says, in a tone of voice that suggests I’ve lost my mind. My heart starts pounding, and I roll the chair back away from the desk. “Say that again.” “The job with Greystone-Branch. You’d said you were nervous about it. So I thought I’d call to congratulate you.” “I don’t have the job,” I say. “I mean, I don’t have it yet. And honestly, I’m not sure I’m going to get it. They seemed pretty worried about my ability to get the work done now that I’m pregnant.” “You did get it,” Ollie says. “The announcement’s in the newsletter they sent out about twenty minutes ago.” “Wait. What?” I dig in my satchel for my iPad only to realize I left it on the counter back at the apartment. Since I haven’t yet fired up my computer, I switch over to email while keeping the phone on speaker. Sure enough, there’s a newsletter from Greystone-Branch sitting in my inbox. And three paragraphs in is the announcement of their new software development relationship with the exceptional team at Fairchild Development. “Holy shit,” I say. “You didn’t know?” “I didn’t have a clue. Why wouldn’t they call first? And why the hell are you getting the Greystone-Branch newsletter?” “Can’t help you with the first,” Ollie says. “But as for the newsletter, I represent one of their competitors, so I subscribed about a year ago.” “Lucky me,” I say, but I’m frowning. “Actually, this explains a lot,” I say, then tell him about the more-irritating-than-threatening texts I’ve been getting. “My first instinct was that they were from a competitor. But then this last one came in right before you called, and I started to think it was someone jealous about Justin. Or the baby. Anything but the contract, because why bother when I didn’t have the job?” “But now you’re thinking the person saw the newsletter, too.” “Maybe. I hope so.” I make a face. “If I’m going to have a text stalker, it would be nice for it to be about my work and not my marriage for once.” Ollie laughs. “You two do tend to make headlines.” Sadly, he’s right. “What does Justin say about the texts?” “I haven’t told him yet,” I admit. “Oh, that’s going to go over well.” I roll my eyes. Ollie and Justin may have settled into a friendly truce, but that doesn’t mean they’re each other’s best champions. In this case, though, Ollie’s probably right. “I’m going to tell him right now,” I say. “I was just about to call him when you rang.” “Then I should let you do that,” Ollie says. “And I also need to go. I need about ten minutes with my witness before I put her on the stand.” “Break a leg,” I say. “By the way, how long are you in New York?”

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clefspeare99 · 7 years

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Answer all! 200-1

Oh man, haven’t done one of these in ages, well here you go!

200: My crush’s name is: Savannah199: Iwas born in: 1995198: Iam really: Caring197: Mycellphone company is: T-Mobile196: Myeye color is: Brown195: Myshoe size is: 13, sometimes 13 ½ depending on the brand194: Myring size is: Umm, 7 I think? My class ring is a 6 ½, but only fits on mypointer finger193: Myheight is: 6’2192: Iam allergic to: Nothing I’m aware of191: My1st car was: 2012 Dodge Grand Caravan190: My1st job was: Chuck E Cheese189: Lastbook you read: Dragons in Our Midst, Circles of Seven188: Mybed is: A Queen, and feels too large, have been used to a twin all my life187: Mypet: 2 dogs, Gizmo and Stitch186: Mybest friend: Hmm, don’t really have one right now if I’m being honest. Havesort of grown away from most everyone, nothing against anyone, just atransition phase right now, and I’ve always been bad at keeping in touch orjust hanging out with people.185: Myfavorite shampoo is: I use Head & Shoulders, all I’ve ever used, wouldn’tsay favorite, it’s just a good brand.184: Xboxor ps3: Nintendo Switch183: Piggybanks are: Cute, but kind of useless182: Inmy pockets: Nothing currently181: Onmy calendar: Don’t have one180: Marriageis: Very sweet and special179: Spongebobcan: Be very strange178: Mymom: Is a wonderful woman177: Thelast three songs I bought were? I don’t know what song I actually lost bought,I just get my music on youtube.176: LastYouTube video watched: 2017 League of Legends World Championships175: Howmany cousins do you have? A lot, um like 17 I can think of off the top of myhead?174: Doyou have any siblings? Yep, 2, a brother and a sister, both younger than me173: Areyour parents divorced? Nope172: Areyou taller than your mom? Yes, quite a bit taller171: Doyou play an instrument? Nope, did drums in elementary school, stopped in middleschool because I would have no other electives all year if I did band andchoir.170: Whatdid you do yesterday? Work, and saw Kingsman The Golden Circle[ I Believe In ]169: Loveat first sight: Lust yes, love no, you build love with someone, not somethingyou can immediately have in my opinion168: Luck:Yeah, occasionally167: Fate:I believe God has a fate for all of us, something we will learn eventually166: Yourself:Definitely165: Aliens:It’s possible with how many millions of stars and planets are out there.164: Heaven:Yep163: Hell:Yep162: God:Yep161: Horoscopes:They are fun and interesting, though I don’t put any faith in them160: Soulmates: Yeah, why not159: Ghosts:Meh, never really have.158: GayMarriage: Yeah, why stop 2 people from being happy together?157: War:Is something that shouldn’t be needed ever.156: Orbs:Not sure what this is referring to, so I guess no?155: Magic:There is illusion magic, but no actual magic like in fire emblem or other videogames.[ This or That ]154: Hugsor Kisses: Why not both?153: Drunkor High: Neither152: Phoneor Online: Online151: Redheads or Black haired: Red head all day150: Blondesor Brunettes: Brunettes149: Hotor cold: Hot148: Summeror winter: Summer147: Autumnor Spring: Colorado Autumn, Spring most anywhere else though146: Chocolateor vanilla: Vanilla145: Nightor Day: Night144: Orangesor Apples: Apples143: Curlyor Straight hair: Curly142: McDonaldsor Burger King: Mc Donald’s fries, Burger King burger141: WhiteChocolate or Milk Chocolate: White Chocolate140: Macor PC: PC139: Flipflops or high heels: Neither, always wears tennis shoes138: Uglyand rich OR sweet and poor: Sweet and poor, you can stop being poor, it’s a lotharder to stop being an ugly person(I’m referring to personality)137: Cokeor Pepsi: Pepsi136: Hillaryor Obama: Obama I guess, though I’m not big on politics135: Burriedor cremated: Never really thought about it, whatever’s cheaper? Don’t need myfamily pouring out money after I’m dead XD134: Singingor Dancing: Singing, have always loved choir, and I suck at dancing133: Coachor Chanel: Not sure what either of these are, clothes or something?132: KatMcPhee or Taylor Hicks: Also not sure what either of these are, guessingsingers of some sort131: Smalltown or Big city: Small town, though able to drive to the big city130: Wal-Martor Target: Target129: BenStiller or Adam Sandler: I only recognize the name Adam Sandler, so him Iguess?128: Manicureor Pedicure: Have never had either, so don’t know.127: EastCoast or West Coast: West Coast, because Disneyland, which is better thanDisneyworld because it has Walt’s personal touch.126: YourBirthday or Christmas: Both are close in timing, but have to go with Christmassince everyone is just generally in a better mood125: Chocolateor Flowers: Chocolate124: Disneyor Six Flags: Disney 100% not even close123: Yankeesor Red Sox: I’m not big on sports, don’t really care either way[ Here’s What I Think About ]122: War:Was sort of asked earlier, still think the same, it should never be needed121: GeorgeBush: I don’t know enough to have an actual opinion on him120: GayMarriage: Why not let people be happy together, it doesn’t hurt you.119: Thepresidential election: Is clearly broken after out last election, how can thismonster be given power at such a high level when he is clearly hateful anddoesn’t understand the general populous?118: Abortion:Mothers choice ultimately117: MySpace:Does this site even still exist? I never personally used it116: RealityTV: It so fake it’s not even funny115: Parents:Do their best for their kids114: Backstabbers: Are some of the lowest people113: Ebay:Is slowly getting eaten alive by Amazon112: Facebook:Is just sort of a time waste, but also lets you connect from so far apart111: Work:Should be fun, not something that you hate doing110: MyNeighbors: Don’t know them, just moved here109: GasPrices: Are nice and low currently, still kind of high in California though,but can’t complain much108: DesignerClothes: Are over rated107: College:Is a money suck unless you know for sure what you want to do, otherwise youwill be in debt with something you don’t want106: Sports:Are kind of fun to watch, but generally very, and I mean very over paid105: Myfamily: Are always there and rather supportive104: Thefuture: Is looking good, have an interview at Disneyland on Tuesday![ Last time I ]103: Huggedsomeone: If all the kids at Chuck E Cheese count while I was in the Chuck Esuit, then tonight, otherwise then it would be about a week ago when my grandmaand grandpa came out102: Lasttime you ate: Had some pizza at work tonight101: Sawsomeone I haven’t seen in a while: This week, hadn’t seen these grandparents inabout 8 years.100: Criedin front of someone: It’s been a while, can’t remember99: Wentto a movie theater: On Saturday, saw Kingsman: Golden Circle98: Tooka vacation: Back at the end of June, went with my family to Paris for a week,go to go to Euro Disney, was a lot of fun.97: Swamin a pool: A week or two ago, have one in my backyard now so can go whenever Iwant, so long as it’s not too cold out.96: Changeda diaper: about a month and a half when I was with Aubri95: Gotmy nails done: Never have94: Wentto a wedding: Not sure, maybe my Uncle’s weeding like gosh 9 years ago?93: Brokea bone: Well I fractured my arm when I was 12 or so, haven’t actually broken abone though92: Gota peircing: Never have, no real plans to91: Brokethe law: Minus going a bit over the speed limit I can’t think of a timehonestly90: Texted:A few days ago with support at Uber trying to figure out an issue with myaccount[ MISC ]89: Whomakes you laugh the most: Savannah used to, after moving no one in particular theselast 2 months88: SomethingI will really miss when I leave home is: Solitarity, is that a word?87: Thelast movie I saw: Kingsman: Golden Circle86: Thething that I’m looking forward to the most: Job interview on Tuesday85: Thething im not looking forward to: Job interview on Tuesday84: Peoplecall me: Josiah, Siah, Clef(gaming friends)83: Themost difficult thing to do is: be genuinely honest with everyone82: Ihave gotten a speeding ticket: Nope, got a warning once since I was 9 over in a45. It was 2 am, and one of my headlights was out, only reason he pulled meover with a warning81: Myzodiac sign is: Sagittarius80: Thefirst person I talked to today was: Danny, they woke me up cause I was supposedto drop her off at the mall79: Firsttime you had a crush: First crush was probably Megan Conrad, had a crush on herin 3rd grade, never told her about it before she moved. Was going togive her a valentines card, but her family moved like the week before, oh well.78: Theone person who I can’t hide things from: No one currently, used to be Sam, butright now there really isn’t anyone that I’m close enough to that can tellsomething is off77: Lasttime someone said something you were thinking: Can’t remember76: Rightnow I am talking to: No body, just up late as I do, watching League75: Whatare you going to do when you grow up: Am a young adult now, so am starting togrow up more, still working on getting into Disney, want to one day help editand voice over in movies.74: Ihave/will get a job: Currently work at Chuck E Cheese, first thing I could getafter moving out to California, hopefully soon will be at Disneyland, alsodrive for Uber every now and then if I’m bored and have some time73: Tomorrow:Is actually going to be Tuesday now since it’s 1am and so therefore technicallyis the next day. Going to be a big day, fingers crossed all goes well.72: Today:Is just another day, nothing to out of the ordinary71: NextSummer: Not sure, I think my mom is working on getting some sort of familyreunion together70: NextWeekend: Will be working, don’t do much on weekends normally69: Ihave these pets: 2 dogs, Gizmo and Stitch, both mutts68: Theworst sound in the world: nails on a chalkboard67: Theperson that makes me cry the most is: Not sure right now, probably myself66: Peoplethat make you happy: Those that are friendly and enjoyable to be around65: Lasttime I cried: Can’t recall64: Myfriends are: A very strange group of gamers63: Mycomputer is: Pretty good, would like to upgrade again here in the next year ortwo, just don’t have the money right now.62: MySchool: Is not existent currently, not a priority currently, will probably belater after work at Disney can give me more of a specific direction to gorather than throwing money at it and hoping for the best.61: MyCar: Is a good van, and has come in rather handy60: Ilose all respect for people who: Put others down behind their backs59: Themovie I cried at was: Nothing jumps out right now, only one that comes to mindof late was Force Awakens, yes it sounds silly, but every time I saw it and theoriginal theme played when Han got on the Falcon I couldn’t help but get tearyeyed, and each time Rey pulls the lightsaber too herself right past Kylo’sface.58: Yourhair color is: Dark Brown57: TVshows you watch: Arrow, Game of Thrones, Flash, Star Wars Rebels56: Favoriteweb site: Youtube probably55: Yourdream vacation: A couple weeks going to every Disney location with someone close54: Theworst pain I was ever in was: I mean breaking my arm hurt a lot physically, butemotionally there have been a few moments years ago when I learned things thatclose friends went through that I wish didn’t have to be so. Some things youjust can’t explain the real effect of how it messed with your mind and makesyou think differently each day.53: Howdo you like your steak cooked: Well done52: Myroom is: Neat and organized51: Myfavorite celebrity is: Liam Neeson50: Wherewould you like to be: Holding her in my arms49: Doyou want children: Have a beautiful daughter, will likely have more in thefuture once I actually settle down.48: Everbeen in love: Have been a few times47: Who’syour best friend: I know I said earlier that I don’t have one, but my mindinstantly went to Michael when I read this again, even though we haven’t beenclose in years now, but I still hope he is doing great and love seeing where heis going on facebook. He was pretty much a second brother growing up.46: Moreguy friends or girl friends: Guys from gaming, though in person would generallybe girls45: Onething that makes you feel great is: A tight warm hug44: Oneperson that you wish you could see right now: Savannah43: Doyou have a 5 year plan: Not particularly, barely have a 5 day plan42: Haveyou made a list of things to do before you die: Not written it down anywhere,but I want to get to every Disney park location, 3 down so far.41: Haveyou pre-named your children: Nope, have some ideas but nothing for sure,especially since my wife will of course have her own desired names too.40: Lastperson I got mad at: No one outwardly, but a few people in my head, and that’show it stays 99% of the time. I bottle stuff in too much.39: Iwould like to move to: It’s always been California, because that’s whereDisneyland is, but honestly wish I could have Disney in Colorado, am alreadykind of missing it far more than I thought I would.38: Iwish I was a professional: Voice actor, and may someday be.[ My Favorites ]37: Candy:Snickers or Laffy Taffy36: Vehicle:Was a Hummer growing up, but that thing is a gas guzzler, honestly whatever has4 wheels and gets me from point a to point b is good, preferably orange.35: President:Abraham Lincoln, because he was a pretty good guy34: Statevisited: Colorado33: Cellphoneprovider: T-Mobile works, haven’t tried anyone else, am grandfathered into myparents plan32: Athlete:Michael Phelps, or Pele31: Actor:Liam Neeson30: Actress:Cara Delevingne29: Singer:There are so many youtubers I follow, I couldn’t pick just one, impossible.Kurt Hugo Schneider, Sam Tsui, Agaisnt The Current, Pentatonix, ChristinaGrimmie(You are missed), Tiffany Alvord, Peter Hollens, Boyce Avenue, and manymore28: Band:Oh, well I kind of mixed some bands into Singers, um just a band, maybe Skilletor Matt Kearney27: Clothingstore: Nothing in particular, most of my shirts are from t-shirt daily dealwebsites26: Grocerystore: Probably Target, just my go to place25: TVshow: Close between Arrow and Game of Thrones24: Movie:Over The Hedge23: Website:This was asked earlier, but YouTube still22: Animal:Dragons, if you want something non-mythical then Guinea Pigs21: Themepark: Disneyland20: Holiday:Thanksgiving because it’s just about being thankful and spending time withfamily and loved ones. It’s not about getting anything or spending money forgifts, it’s about being there and being thankful.19: Sportto watch: League of Legends, E-sports totally count, if you disagree then youare wrong, and then Soccer would be my answer.18: Sportto play: Ultimate Frisbee, a lot of fun, especially with my good long distancethrows.17: Magazine:Don’t read magazines ever16: Book:The whole Dragons In Our Midst series, if I had to pick one then it would beRaising Dragons, the very first book.15: Dayof the week: None of them are special right now, so they just sort of flowtogether now, Friday I guess since it’s payday?14: Beach:Is nice to walk along on, though am not a fan of swimming in the ocean13: Concertattended: Last one I remember going to was an Audio Adrenaline concert with mydad, but that was ages ago, have never been big on concerts.12: Thingto cook: I suck at cooking, the best food I can make is French toast, is prettygood.11: Food:Cheeseburger. You can’t beat a good burger, 90% of the time at any restaurantit’s what I get.10: Restaurant:In-N-Out for fast food style, Red Lobster for sit down, used to be OliveGarden, but they got rid of their Fettuccini Alfredo Pizza9: Radiostation: K-Love8: Yankeecandle scent: Not sure, Cantaloupe maybe?7: Perfume:I don’t wear any, so don’t have much of an opinion on it, just something sweetsmelling is generally nice6: Flower:Never really thought about it actually, Roses look pretty, though it’s kind ofa generic answer, yeah don’t really have one I guess.5: Color:Orange, always has been, always will be.4: Talkshow host: I don’t watch any talk shows, so not sure who any are.3: Comedian:Jeff Dunham, I think he counts right? Great ventriloquist and comedian2: Dogbreed: Husky, such beautiful dogs, thought they do need a lot of attention totake care of.1: Didyou answer all these truthfully? To the best of my knowledge, yes.

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kayciej-4 · 7 years

Text

130 Questions About Myself:

A – Accidents 01. Have you ever been in a car accident?- No 02. Do you have a lot of scars?- Yes 03. Have you ever been in a fist fight with someone?- No 04. Have you ever seriously hurt anyone by mistake?- No 05. Have you ever had stitches? Where?- Yes; under my chin B – Beauty 06. Do you consider yourself beautiful?- I suppose 07. Are you self conscious of how you look?- Sometimes 08. Do you put on a lot of makeup?- Not really (only for the club lol) 09. Would you ever consider getting plastic surgery?- Nope 10. What do you think makes a person beautiful?- If you're ugly on the inside, it doesn't matter what you look like. Personality is key. C – Consequences 11. What was the longest amount of time you’ve been grounded for?- Most of High School lol 12. What would you do if you got pregnant, keep it or have an abortion?- At this point in my life, keep it 13. Do you ever think about how your actions affect other people?- Most of the time yes 14. What do you think is the worst punishment someone could give you?- Being disappointed in me 15. What is one thing you wish you didn’t do, just because it wasn’t worth it in the end?- Almost giving up on life and in school D – Dealing 16. When you are mad at someone, how do you show them?- I straight up tell them 17. Name a time when you had to be strong.- Almost all the time 18. Have you ever dealt with a divorce or parents fighting? Any kind of abuse at home?- My parents were never married so I've been back and forth between them my whole life. My mom and stepdad used to fight basically every day. 19. When people at school don’t accept you, or have problems with you, how do you react?- I don't care what people think of me. 20. Have you ever lost someone to death? Explain how you got through it: Yes; it was very hard but I fought through and I went to a councilor a few times to help with the grieving. E – Experience 21. Have you ever had a job? Any volunteer jobs?- I've had 3 jobs in my life 22. Do you think that you are sexually experienced, or not at all?- Yes 23. Have you gone through a lot emotionally, or has life been easy thus far?- I've gone through way to much and I'm still so young 24. Do you think you are ready to be on your own (have your own home, job, etc.)?- I'm not ready quite yet, but I'm definitely looking forward to it 25. How old do you act?- Growing old is mandatory, growing up is optional. F – Family 26. Is there anyone in your family you don’t talk to? Why?- I don't talk to my moms side of the family cuz they're crazy and trashy, and my dads side live in other states so it's hard to keep in touch. I have my immediate family and close friends. 27. If you had to choose, family or friends?- Friends 28. Can you tell your parents or one of your parents anything?- Usually I tell my mom everything 29. Do you have any siblings? If so, do you ever get jealous of them?- I have 2 and no I don't. They're both 10/11 years younger than me 30. How often do you spend ‘quality time’ with family members?- Not too often due to working G – Growing 31. How tall are you? How tall do you wish you were?- 5'3"; and I'm content with my height 32. Do you think that you have grown more in the past year than any year before that?- I haven't grown since the 7th grade lol 33. As a person, do you think you are mature for your age or still act childish?- I am mature for my age, but I know when to have fun 34. Are you scared to think that one day you will turn 30, then 40, then 50?- Not scared, it's just weird to think about 35. Do you believe you still have a lot to learn?- Oh definitely H – Hope 36. Love – real or not?- Yes 37. Are you a pessimist of an optimist?- Optimist 38. Do you believe in fate, that everything happens for a reason, or do you think that our actions lead the way?- Actions 39. Do you think that after we die our spirit is still alive?- Yes 40. What gives you hope when you just feel like dying?- My best friend and my boyfriend I – Issues 41. Do you suffer from depression or constant sadness/loneliness?- Depression, anxiety, PTSD, panic attacks, probably ADD. 42. Do you have any type of disease or disability?- No 43. Are you currently in a hard relationship or have bad luck with the opposite sex?- In a relationship 44. Do you think that you are alone in this world?- No 45. How often do you think about death, suicide or running away?- I used to a lot back in school but I haven't since I graduated J – Jokes 46. Say a word or phrase that would not be funny to anyone but you & one of your friends (an inside joke): PUDDING 47. Are you usually the one who makes people laugh,Or the other way around?- I can be funny sometimes lol 48. Do you cry when you laugh hard?- Yes 49. Write down a hilarious moment you had with someone that makes you laugh to this day: My friend stayed the night and she raised her hand in dead ass sleep and said "teacher, I need an apple!" I told her the next morning and we couldn't stop laughing. 50. Do you ever get in trouble for laughing or talking a lot during class?- I did lol K – Knowledge 51. The purpose of school: to learn, to cause trouble or to hang out with friends?- To learn but I didn't learn shit 52. Do people refer to you as smart, dumb, or average?- Average 53. What was the highest grade you have received (full course mark) ever?- An A I guess 54. What was your last average? This year would you like to maintain it or aim higher?- I graduated with a 2.5 GPA 55. What do you find the most interesting subject to be (to study or to talk about)?- I loved my electives. Chorus and other arts classes. Oh and I took Psychology. L – Love 56. Are you currently in love? If not, have you been before?- Yes ❤️ 57. Do people around you show you a lot of love (tell you they love you, hug you, kiss you, etc.)?- Yes 58. Is love worth it?- Yes 59. Do you hate it when girls in their young teenage years say they ‘love’ someone that they’ve been dating for a few months?- Yes 60. Does it take a lot for you to say you love someone, or is it just a word?- It takes a lot M – Money 61. Do you believe that money makes the world go round?- Basically 62. Is your family on the poor side, average, or above average when it comes to money?- Average 63. Are you saving up for college/university, or planning to?- No 64. Would you rather win millions of dollars & be set for life, or find the perfect person to marry & start a family with?- 2nd one 65. On a scale of 1-10, how important is money to you?- 10 cuz it keeps me going N – Naughty 66. Are you a virgin?- No 67. What do you think about doing sexual things with someone you’re not going out with?- I don't 68. Do you know anybody you consider a ’slut’? What makes you say that?- Yes; they just constantly screw around with other people and not care about themselves or the other person 69. If you could, would you erase some things you did in the past or make it so you did more?- I could erase some stuff 70. Do you consider yourself more nice or more naughty? (You can’t say both)- Both O – Openness 71. How long does it take for you to open up to someone?- Usually a while (unless I'm high or I really feel that trusting vibe) 72. What does it take for you to fully trust someone?- Haven't thought about that really 73. Are you generally untrusting towards people because of past experiences, or any other reason?- Yes, especially if I get a bad vibe 74. When are you comfortable with someone sexually?- Takes a lonnnggggg time 75. When it comes to parents and close friends, what’s the limit of what you can tell them?- I tell my besties and boyfriend everything. Parents, not so much. P – Positive 76. Have you ever had an experience with someone that didn’t necessarily end positively? If so, would you rather erase the memory of that person because of the sad times or keep the memory of that person because of the good times?- Yes and I want those memories and that person to be gone. 77. Do you agree with the saying: better to have loved and lost than not have loved at all?- Kinda 78. Are you more optimistic or pessimistic? What do you try to be?- Optimistic! 79. Do you agree that something good can come out of everything?- Yes 80. Have you ever had a time where something really bad happened, but something really good happened because of it? If so, please exlain what it was: If she would've never broken my heart, I would've never found the amazing guy I'm in love with today ❤️ Q – Questions 81. When faced with a problem, do you ask for help or try to figure it out yourself?- I try to figure it out first, then ask 82. Do you often question the world and how we came about? What are some things you would like to know about creation?- I do sometimes if I'm zoned out or trying to fall asleep 83. Do you think the government is truthful? If you could ask the president one question, what would it be?- Fuck the government.; To Trump "What the fuck is wrong in your fucked up head?" 84. When someone does something wrong to you, do you confront them and ask them why they did it or just let it go?- Both; depends on the situation 85. What is one unsolved mystery about the world that you want answers to?- Why does the US government suck? R – Respect 86. How do you show respect?- Respect is show when given. Depends on the situation 87. What can someone do for you to lose all respect for them?- ^ 88. Do you respect your teachers, parents, and other authority figures?- Yes 89. When you are disrespectful to your parents, what is the punishment?- I get yelled at 90. If someone is mean to you, are you mean back or do you kill them with kindness?- Depends on the situation S – School 91. If you are still in school, what grade will you be going into?- GRADUATED IN 2016 92. When will you graduate high school/college?- ^ and no college 93. After high school, what did you do/are you planning to do?- I'm working and saving money to move out and I want my own photography/dance studio 94. Do you like or hate school? What do you like/hate about it?- I hated school 95. Have you ever been suspended, expelled, or dropped out of school?- Nope T – Temptation 96. Have you ever done something wrong, knowing it was wrong, because something inside of you said it was okay?- Yes and no 97. Has anyone ever pressured you to smoke or drink? Did you do it?- No one pressured me but I've done both 98. Did you ever cheat on someone? Why did you do it? Hell no 99. Did you ever want to do something sexual with someone you didn’t really know or love What did you end up doing?- Yes but I didn't do anything about it 100. Do you give in to temptation easily, or are you more independent and strong willed?- I'm independent U – Unique 102. Do you do a lot of things because your friends are doing it?- No 103. Do you follow trends, wear whatever you want, or wear really unique pieces?- I do/wear/say whatever I want 104. Do you give in easily to peer pressure? Do you do things such as smoke, drink, or have casual sex?- No; I smoke and drink 105. What makes you different from people your age?- Nothing V – Value 106. What’s the most expensive thing in your room?- My phone lol 107. What’s more valuable: your life or the lives of your loved ones? Would you sacrifice your life for other people?- The people I love; Yes 108. What is something you value not because it cost a lot, but because it means a lot to you?- The promise ring my boyfriend gave me 109. If there was a fire in your house/apartment, what is the first thing you would grab?- Kids and pets (if I have any) 110. Do you think past memories and experiences are more valuable than what could possibly happen in the future?- No W – Wishes 111. If you had three wishes, what would they be?- I wish I got paid more, I wish I had a better camera, I wish I was a better dancer 112. Would you rather wish yourself to be happy, or your loved ones?- Loved ones 113. Do you believe that wishes come true if you really believe in them?- Yes, but you gotta work for it 114. Have you ever had a wish come true? If so, what was that wish?- Yes, I got a Jeep 115. Do you find wishing for things a waste of time because everything that’s meant to happen, will happen?- Yes Y – You 121. Are you more independent or social?- Both 122. What is something that makes you very mad when you see it?- People hating and shitting on things that aren't actually affecting them 123. Do you think that you have potential to do great things?- Yes 124. Do you think people are born a certain way, or develop their personalities based on what they go through in life?- 2nd one 125. Do you think people are generally good?- Yes Z – Zest 126. Are you currently happy with your life? Why or why not?- Yes and no; I have amazing friends and family and boyfriend and job, but I wish I had more money to help me reach my goals 127. Do you go on FacebookCraze.com to get facebook survey’s and quizzes like this one?- No 128. When change occurs, do you get scared or are you excited for it?- It doesn't scare me but sometimes I get nervous and excited 129. Do you like to try new things, meet new people?- Yes 130. What is the most motivational thing in the world?- Knowing that I have so much support from everyone I love.

#questions #about myself

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itsiotrecords-blog · 7 years

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http://ift.tt/2t4ZVxC

They have the whole package– money, fame, and beauty. They seem unapproachable and distant because they seemingly belong to another universe to which we are not granted access. The celebrities sell not only their professional skills, but also their own image. How many times did stars do something just for publicity’s sake? As long as the people from the magazines, TV screens and the YouTube videos are representing them positively, the sale is going well; and even if the feature is negative, any news is good news (it’s when they stop talking about you that you have a problem). That’s why everything that can tarnish the luster of their glamor is kept strictly confidential (same as any of us would do in all honesty). We think celebrities are flying above the social norms and trivialities. However, human as they are, nothing human is alien to them and now and then their dirty little secrets are made public. From secret love affairs and weird sexual fantasies to addiction problems and unusual obsessions, fears and personal hygienic habits– our beloved stars have them all. The famous folks might have thought their secrets would follow them to their graves, but forgot that eventually the truth has to come out. And we have it right here.

#1 Shaquille O’Neal’s Thirst For Blood Having a fetish is not something one should be ashamed of– after all, if consented and not harmful, no practice in the bedroom should be considered vulgar or inappropriate; to each his own, right? Yet, Shaq’s fetish makes him the last person you’ll be willing to share your drink with because the guy uses his mouth for the strangest thing. Some years ago, his former wife, Vanessa Lopez, filed a suit against him claiming “invasion of privacy and intentional infliction of emotional distress”. During the trial sessions, Lopez revealed some disturbing intimate facts about the legendary basketball player. When asked if Shaq had any sexual hang-ups, she said that he’d often perform oral on her while she was on her period. Actually, this is a clinical condition which is called menophilia and is characterized by getting sexually aroused by menstrual blood. The fetish-lovers brotherhood, however, don’t care for the Latin name and call Shaq’s drive simply “bloodhounding”.

#2 Russell Brand’s Secret Box Of DVDs If you thought Shaq’s fetish was weird, check out what Russell Brand does for fun when he is alone at home. The eccentric Brit’s looks and reckless behavior would suggest that he is into kinky stuff. After his break-up with Katy Perry, she went to his place to collect some of her belongings and found a box full of unlabeled DVDs. Katy couldn’t resist the temptation and played some of them. What she saw made her eyes pop out of her head. On the home-made videos, Russell was doing what is called “air sex”– fully clothed, he was heavily pounding an invisible partner. This might seem quite an improbable way of satisfying oneself, but it’s actually a thing, which originated and was first documented in Japan. All in all, it’s like playing an air guitar, only with more moaning and more wriggling involved.

#3 Denise Richards’ Girl-On-Girl Experience Most people are used to thinking that lesbianism is monopolized by robust, masculinized ladies who dress in baggy jeans and know how to use a jigsaw and change a tire. Stereotypes, however, are not what they used to be. Especially the ones linked to naughty preferences and practices! Just look at this drop dead gorgeous beauty, Denise Richards! It’s true that her divorce with Charlie Sheen in 2006 attracted more attention and inspired more headlines than her film roles, but although ten years have passed since then, she keeps on surprising us with curious facts about her intimate life. If you have read her memoir The Real Girl Next Door (which became a New York Times Best Seller!), then it shouldn’t come as a surprise to you that she has had a homoerotic experience. It was during an interview with the infamous radio host Howard Stern that she kind of came out, confessing that “a long time ago” she met this woman through friends, and she felt… curious. They were both curious, in fact. She was reluctant to reveal the name of the person, but what is known is that she is also pretty famous and is, in Richards’ own words, “a beautiful girly girl.”

#4 Sandra Bullock’s Foul Face Care Treatment When it comes to maintaining their seemingly ageless beauty, many Hollywood female stars subject themselves to all sorts of absurdly alternative beautifying procedures. Some of them are very expensive, yet effective if we judge by the appearance of the Desperate Housewives star Teri Hatcher. She regularly takes… wine baths. Others are weird, mildly put, like Demi Moore’s method of detoxing– she lets leeches suck her blood. But what Sandra Bullock does beats them all. Miss Congeniality applies hemorrhoid cream on her face because she believes it makes her skin glow. The other effect of the product is that, when applied under the eyes, it decreases inflammation. In other words, the cream, which is in fact a vasoconstrictor, is supposed to reduce puffiness. Actually, it makes a lot of sense, since hemorrhoids are… well… puffy.

#5 Martha Stewart’s Naughty Texting… And Other Things What can be more shocking than catching a whole nation’s, 71-year old domestic goddess in “inappropriate for her age and social status” conduct? Probably only Kim Kardashian becoming a nun. But, of course, there’s nothing inappropriate about a woman, no matter her age or occupation, participating in some Internet dating, as Martha Stewart confessed some time ago. But, if checking hot guys’ profiles still sounds too innocent to be on this list, how about imagining this hugely successful business woman engaging herself in a threesome and sexting with strangers? She must have been really bored living in that 35,000-square-foot residence on Mount Desert Island to take on alternative forms of entertainment. We don’t know how much of the rumors about her romantic life are true, but she herself has reluctantly disclosed that her intensive sexting once led to an actual one-night stand. Good for you, Martha! You give hope to all women who fear there is no fun time after menopause!

#6 Brad Pitt’s Bad Odor Routine His fellow actors and his closest friends always know, without a shade of a doubt, when Brad Pitt was somewhere before them. The stank he leaves behind is so unbearable that the guy’s armpits should be declared weapons of mass distraction. Reliable sources claim that one of the most desirable men on the planet completely stopped using deodorant and soap years ago. Some blame it on the fact that Brad Pitt has become all green, so instead of all those cosmetic products that damage the environment, he uses a natural portion of lemon, water and apple cider vinegar to get rid of the repelling smell of perspiration off his body. It obviously doesn’t work effectively, as many complain about the smell coming from him. Not long ago, his Inglourious Basterds co-star Eli Roth shared some inside the set info, “When he was sweating and didn’t have time to shower, he’d just take a baby wipe and rub his armpits with it.” Our advice: Do it more often, Brad! A wipe now and then won’t harm a forest!

#7 Scarlett Johansson’s Back Seat Fantasy This classy hotness surely appears in millions of men’s dreams. Now, her male fans from around the world have been given another incentive to further improve the quality of their dreams featuring the 32-year-old actress and model. Johansson has recently disclosed that her greatest turn-on is doing it in the back seat of a car. “To me, having sex in a car is sexy, and if I have to think of doing something kinky and crazy, I’ll definitely go for the back seat.” That’s it, people, the mystery’s revealed, and if you get lucky to be around Scarlett one day, do not try to seduce her with expensive jewelry, or fancy meals and wines. Just offer to give her a ride in your car! And who knows? You may get lucky.

#8 Keith Richards’ Weird Act Of Remembrance To His Dad Nobody who started their career in the music business in the 1960s, and I mean nobody, has remained untouched by the glorious days of sex, drugs and rock n’ roll. This is especially valid for the musicians of the legendary rock bands, most of whom have admitted to having consumed all kinds of substances in their time. But none of those are as bizarre as the one Keith Richards of The Rolling Stones is said to have sampled. In 2007, NME magazine revealed that the 72-year-old guitarist once mixed his father’s ashes with cocaine and snorted… him. The veteran of drug marathons is convinced that his father wouldn’t have objected at all, and adds that “he went down pretty well.” Years later, Richards now realizes that being still alive after decades of drug and alcohol abuse is pure luck, and he advises others not to follow in his steps. And definitely to abstain from snorting their parents!

#9 Matthew McConaughey’s Food Fetish Food can be hot not only smeared all over the body of your naked girlfriend who is waiting for you to eat her up. The 47-year-old Oscar winning actor sometimes has to stop eating because he enjoys food so much that he literally becomes aroused. If you wonder how he maintains this super fit slender body of his given that he likes eating that much, the answer is simple– the guy prefers to go hungry than to get turned on. Just imagine how embarrassing it must feel being in a fancy restaurant and get a huge boner over a dish of lobster tails with garlic and chili butter! The actor himself once said to Britain’s InStyle Magazine that when he savors something that feels good on his palate, he gets tingles down his spine which can be so forceful that he needs to stop eating if he doesn’t want to lose himself in blissful ecstasy. Another fetish the star admits to have is the smell of suntan lotion; the one with coconut fragrance draws him the most. “That smell brings back the sweetest memories of women in bikinis,” McConaughey says.

#10 Megan Fox’s Dysfunctional Toilet Habit You look at this girl and you say to yourself, “Wow, she is so perfect that I doubt she is really human!” Well, the devastating truth is that the 30-year old actress and model is not only of flesh and blood, but she is also one of those people you’ll probably find disgusting to live with. She might be a global heartthrob, but as regards her hygienic habits, there’s room for improvement— a lot of it. The Transformers babe very often forgets to flush the toilet. And not only in her own home, but also in other people’s houses! She must realize how repulsive this is because not once or twice has she admitted in interviews that she is horrible to live with. Besides being negligent about her going-to-toilet routine, she is also very messy. “My clothes end up wherever I take them off.” Well, Megan, sweetheart, although you kill in a bikini, we must say, being that untidy is definitely far from sexy!

#11 Robert Pattinson’s Bad Hair Day Every Day It came as a surprise to those who know of Robert Pattinson‘s problematic personal hygiene when he became the face of Dior Homme Eau. Was it a joke? After all, the star from the Twilight series is famous for not being a big fan of showering. He once didn’t wash his hair for six weeks in a row! “I don’t really see the point,” he says. “If you don’t care if your hair’s clean or not, then why would you wash it?” Solid logic, but still, it remains a mystery how he manages to look so awesome and well-groomed. His sex appeal is something the crew members working with him on a set in Vancouver obviously don’t care about as they can’t stop criticizing him. As one of the anonymous insiders put it, “He stinks. I mean, it’s awful. He never showers, and it drives people on the set crazy.” So much for the cool vampire appeal!

#12 Harry Styles’ Double Trouble Harry Styles from One Direction has four nipples! Of course, it’s not particularly a dirty secret one needs to hide, but to some it may sound like something you wouldn’t exactly brag about either. However, girls thought the two extra nipples looked just great on Harry’s tanned torso when in 2012 paparazzi caught him sunbathing on the board of a luxury boat in Australia. Despite his genetic defect, the 22-year-old English singer doesn’t seem embarrassed at all. Actually, whenever asked about it, he likes to joke that the extra nipples might have belonged to a twin brother, who didn’t make it to the world but left him his nipples as a form of legacy. Probably because Harry finds stripping so liberating (as he claims), his fans think he is dreamy– four nipples or not.

#13 Thora Birch’s Family History In “Showbiz” Nobody can choose their parents and, one way or another, we all have a past we cannot just erase and pretend didn’t happen. Thora Birch‘s professional path was pretty much mapped out from before she was born, as both her parents were kind of in the show business. Indeed, she started acting as a child and even won an award for Best Young Actress Under Nine Years of Age, but her breakthrough role came with the Oscar winning film American Beauty, in which her performance was applauded both by the critics and the audience. Her parents must be very proud of their daughter’s achievements, although the movie in which they both appeared in 1972 is no less unforgettable and covered in more glory than American Beauty. That movie is none other than the adult film classic Deep Throat, and Jack Birch and Carol Conners, Thora’s mom and dad, are former stars of the industry.

#14 50 Cent’s Shameful Bankruptcy It must be really humiliating for someone who has built one’s career on the classical attributes of rap music (i.e. money, bitches, furs, and fast cars) to go bankrupt. And be forced to hide it! In 2015, the former hottest rapper out there filed a statement of his financials in Connecticut bankruptcy court. From the statement, it became clear that Curtis Jackson drained a $25 million fortune just in a few years’ time. The rapper claimed his bankruptcy was a result of some bad business investments (and following lawsuits), but the truth cannot be concealed– back in his best days of fame and glamor, the man kept throwing money around like a maharaja. Although he owned money to creditors and lost a scandalous lawsuit, which stripped him of another couple of millions, 50 Cent kept posting pictures of himself buried in piles of money. When the court asked him to explain this unexpected wealth, he responded it was all fake money. Yeah, as if!

#15 Daniel Radcliffe’s Booze Addiction How time flies! Year after year, we have been so engulfed in following Daniel bringing the magical character of Harry Potter to life that we somehow failed to notice when the child star grew up. And the fact would have continued to escape us if it hadn’t been for his confession that he had a drinking problem, which, however, he beat in 2010. The actor revealed that he’d sometimes show up on the set of Harry Potter still drunk from the night before. In an interview for The Guardian, he said he turned to alcohol to cope with the pressure of fame and potential failure. Although it sounds like a big cliché, it’s actually a common practice among child stars to embrace bad habits. The examples are quite numerous– Lindsay Lohan, Drew Barrymore, Mary-Kate Olsen, Macaulay Culkin… This is how Radcliffe explains the inclination of the young celebrities towards alcohol and drugs, “It’s the pressure of living with the thought, ‘Oh, what if all these people are saying I’m not going to have a career? What if they all are going to be laughing and I will be consigned to a bunch of “Where are they now?” lists?”

Source: TheRichest

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