#their relationship to me seems like siblings with a massive age gap

[player1064]

Gary WHEN will you bring Wazza on to Stick To Football... please. please. I am Begging.

[novembermorgon]

do you have any opinions on larra rogare (personally thats my crazy cat lady deabeat mother)

ohhhh larra. she makes me sad. it's been a while since i read f&b but i think she's a very interesting look into the way westerosi nobility meshes (or rather doesn't mesh) with different cultures. larra is brought over to westeros and doesn't abandon her lyseni culture - she dresses in lyseni fashions, kept lyseni servants, worshipped lyseni gods, didn't try to learn the common tongue - and good for her! she's married to a boy while she's still young herself, sent to a different continent where she knows nobody, brought to court and everybody hates her. she keeps cats as company and people assume they're her spies (???), that she does dark magic, turns herself into a man to visit brothels, that because of the gods she worships it's her fault when children go missing. there's plots to kill her so that viserys can take a 'proper westerosi queen'! how horrendous is that!

as an indigenous person parts of her story really do resonate with me. knowing that you have to assimilate, that you have to let go of your family's and your culture's history and traditions to ever truly fit in - or to even be allowed into society at all. i think she was very brave to refuse, and was very strong to stay for as long as she did, while essentially being harrassed and discriminated against on the daily.

of course her leaving her children is Bad . it's sad, and in an ideal world, westeros and lys wouldve had some kind of split custody system LOL but in truth i can't fault her entirely. westeros failed her and court failed her even worse.

errrmmmm. there's also a massive hulking elephant in the room of 'she married viserys when he was like 13' which is obviously horrific, but i also think this is a case of political plays by her family rather than 'larra is a creep who really wanted to marry this 13 year old boy'. given how viserys seems to have been at least to some degree fond of and protective of her i don't think their relationship was ever all that awful purely looking at their dynamic (so if you discount the age gap) - i feel as if there was probably some degree of respect there and neither of them treated the other badly. in my mind i like to picture it as more of a sibling relationship than anything wholly romantic when you go beyond their marriage duties

[cosmic-day]

Having seen the final season of The Umbrella Academy: I didn’t hate it quite as much as most of fandom seem to, but I also didn’t love it. Rambly thoughts and massive spoilers under the cut:

First of all, I don’t know how much the compressed episode count affected things, but I felt like adding  ‘could/would have worked better if fleshed out more’ at the end of every sentence in this review.

As far as positives go, I was OK with the ending. It has been baked into the show from the beginning that the Hargreeves siblings only break whatever they try to fix, and their erasure from the universe being the only thing that restores the timeline does make sense. I kind of respect the show for committing to that, rather than finding a last minute “they died but not really” cop out.

I loved Abigail’s role in it as well and think that is a really underrated bit of satisfying writing: Abigail who has been literally and figuratively fridged for three seasons gets to tell Reginald that she never asked for this and never wanted it, and most importantly gets to not only seize control of the narrative but end it. That part really worked for me.

Viktor had a decent arc and also got to confront Reginald about his shitty parenting which was also satisfying.

Unfortunately, there the positives end.

Most of the other characters got short changed. Klaus was stuck in an irrelevant subplot, as he often is, but here it felt more irrelevant than usual, and also gratuitously dark – I mean, it’s a dark show at times but this felt like trauma porn for the sake of it. Allison had some good moments, but not much of an arc. Diego and Luther were both reduced to goofy, borderline pathetic comic relief in a way that just felt mean spirited at times. Ben and Jennifer needed way more time to work properly.

And then there’s the Five/Lila of it all.

I love these guys. Not only are they my favourite individual characters, but I loved their enemies to chaotic besties arc, and I really wanted more of that friendship. The subway plot was a brilliant idea, and I could have watched a whole episode (I’m thinking the Last Of Us episode ‘Long Long Time’), following them surviving together and developing their friendship (and also maybe addressing little irrelevant details like Five being the killer of her parents). But they just had to shoehorn in a romance, by Steve Blackman’s admission, because they ‘had to have a love story’ for Five. OK, but why? Why does a character ‘need’ a romance? Also, protip, but if you do something because you feel it ‘has’ to happen, and not because you want to develop the characters in any way, it shows.

I should say I don’t particularly care about the age gap issues. Nor do I entirely agree with the argument that it’s ooc for Five, because our precious blorbo Would Never betray his brother like that. I love Five, but he’s a little shit. Also, I’ve seen many complaints that he spent decades in the apocalypse and never gave up so why is he giving up now, but maybe he gave up because he spent decades in the apocalypse. Maybe he’s just tired. Everyone has limits, and Five has hit his.

I just hate that platonic relationships are always erased, sidelined and overwritten in favour of romantic relationships because those are obviously more important and more interesting. Five’s friendship with Lila and devotion to his family are also love stories, and they’re not lesser because they’re not romantic. I also violently hate love triangles. This one was particularly annoying and not even properly resolved.

Overall the season just felt lacking. Where were the great big goofy, joyous setpieces, or alternatively, if such is your jam, the dark and deranged pieces of ultra violence set to a banger of a pop tune. Where, in short, were Footloose and Istanbul Not Constantinople. (Though I will admit Baby Shark made me laugh.)

Anyway. I wouldn’t say the show is ruined for me, but it was a disappointing conclusion and my least favourite season by far.

[writingsofwesteros]

The article that Helly did- Helaena Targaryen; The Emergence of a Dragon

Helaena Targaryen is arguably one of the most reclusive of the Targaryen-Hightower siblings. Where her sister Daenora or brother Aegon revel in the spotlight, Helaena is far more content with being out of it- anonymous, as she says- "Oh, believe me, I'm always grateful to Aeg and Nora for being the ones who thrive in the spotlight. I'm also grateful that when I do go to high-profile events, I have my siblings there to calm my nerves." Helaena tells me as we sit in one of the many, many rooms of the Targaryen family's massive estate.

Indeed, it's been a time of great change for the soft-spoken heiress, as she not only worked to launch a foundation for the preservation of insect species found in the Old Valyrian ruins, but for the past four years, she's become a mother to a pair of the sweetest twins. "It wasn't exactly planned," She tells me, smiling kindly at the maid who served us lemonade. "But my sister Daenora says that sometimes the best things in life are the unplanned ones. I never really pictured myself a mom until I saw the positive tests, to be honest."

When I asked her about how motherhood's treated her, and how she plans to go ahead with her kids carrying the weight of the Targaryen name, Helaena had this to say; "Motherhood has been the greatest gift," She smiles, lighting up when she talks about her twins- Jaehaerys and Jaehaera, I learn are their names, something that the public spent four years speculating on. "I intend for them to lead lives out of the public eye for as long as possible. I know it sounds like an impossible task, but believe me, I've got some pretty strong-willed people with me on this journey." She looks up and shares a knowing smile with her first four siblings- Aegon, Aemond and Daenora- the youngest, Daella, yet to be seen.

"The Targaryen name is like a blessing and a curse, I think," She says thoughtfully. "On the one hand, public scrutiny has been something that's caused a lot of hurt in my family. We've grown thicker skin because of it, but it's hurt, for sure. The lack of anonymity can be frustrating- drones following you on private vacations to get picture of you, the judging from people who don't even know you- yea, that one got to me when I was younger." She explains to me. "But...without it I wouldn't be free to do what I do now. I've learnt to accept that it's also a blessing, to have the opportunities I do, but also what the name will give my kids." She told me.

I couldn't resist asking her about the rest of her family- after all it's no secret that the fascination with the Targaryens- their dramas, their 'traditions' and unfamiliar customs, their way of life seems to never die as the generations continue. From the beginning Westeros has been obsessed with the silver-haired family. Even now, with the polyamorous marriage between Rhaenyra, her Uncle, former playboy Daemon, and Helaena's own mother, Alicent Hightower rocked the Westerosi social scene for months. The speculation as the the paternity of Helaena's twins was rampant, though most narrow it down to two candidates- though Helaena is quite content to never tell.

The controversial age-gap relationship between Stevonna Baratheon and Otto Hightower caught everyone by surprise, without a doubt. Even the hidden youngest sibling, Daella, is a subject of great speculation for fans- they wonder if we'll ever see a glimpse of her in the public eye. What's clear, though, in this rare interview from the gentle, kind, soft-spoken heiress, is why she's so beloved by not just her family, but fans, despite her quiet social media presence, there are thousands of fan pages dedicated to her. "Oh, yes, that always surprises me," She said with a laugh. "I always imagine that's more Nora's territory than mine. People adore her."

Though we weren't able to get much information on her twins- the presence of her brothers made sure of it- there was a little sparkle in her eye when I asked about the next generation of Targaryens.

I bow to you! You should be writing books !

I adore this so much!! Helaena is just the sweetest thing ever and I love how the twins names were not know.

[dreamsandscenes]

My Thoughts On

FINN SHELBY

* Spoilers ahead for S1 - S6 of Peaky Blinders *

The way that Finn as a character was pushed aside and rendered useless 99% of the time is a shame. I wish Steven Knight had had different plans for him (or just any good plans at all would’ve been nice).

I do find the age gap between Finn and all the other siblings a bit too much. If we’re going by the wiki ages, which make sense within the show, Finn was born in 1908. This also must be his birth year, since in season 1 of the show, he says he’s about to be 11, and S1 starts in 1919. His oldest sibling, Arthur, was already 21, Tommy was 18, John was 13, and Ada was 11 when he was born. I can only imagine that the Shelby parents started having kids in their teens, because the age gap is massive. It would’ve made more sense for Finn to be Arthur or Tommy’s son, rather than their brother with that age gap.

It also drives a bit of a wedge between the older siblings and Finn, because Arthur, Tommy, John and Ada all grew up together. They experienced their difficult childhood together. Finn didn’t. Maybe this is part of the reason why I don’t see the same bond between Finn and his siblings as they all have with each other. Don’t get me wrong, they all loved him. I never doubted that. But as Finn grew into a man, I did wonder if all of them actually liked him.

We also know that Mrs Shelby died when Finn was a baby, and Mr Shelby left the family shortly after. Finn never had parents, but he had substitutes for those roles.

Polly was the only mother he ever knew. She raised him. That being said though, it did seem like when Michael came back into her life, Polly put Finn on the back burner. We didn’t really see much of them together at all, apart from in season 1. I don’t even know who Finn lived with in S3/S4, because he was still so young, he had to live with someone. I think Polly cared for him very well when he was a little boy, but once he got into his teens, and Michael was back in the picture, she didn’t seem to care as much. Maybe because he didn’t rely on her to take care of him so much because he was getting older, she took a step back, but I honestly don’t know why she didn’t seem to have more of an active role in his life from S2 onwards. Maybe we should just say it was a poor writing decision.

Both Arthur and Tommy seemed to fill the fatherly role in Finn’s life. They both looked out for him when they could. They, along with John when he got old enough, made sure to financially support Finn, and give him more than they had growing up. That being said, they weren’t the best role models. I mean, Finn was already doing cocaine at 13/14, something at least Tommy was apparently aware of. Granted, they didn’t necessarily understand the issues with cocaine at the time, but people knew it was a drug, and kids obviously shouldn’t be doing drugs, so I don’t know if Tommy should get a pass for that less than fantastic big brother behaviour.

After John’s death, Finn is clearly brought more into the Peaky Blinders fold, to fill the hole that John left behind. Unfortunately though, Finn lacked the ruthlessness that John had. He could never quite measure up. Perhaps because he never had to fight to get by, like his big brothers did, he didn’t have that drive to succeed. He just kind of skated by the whole time. He didn’t have the aptitude for violence that John had, so he disappointed Tommy/Arthur when it came to Peaky business because he couldn’t handle it, but that’s not really something I would blame Finn for. That’s more on his brothers for expecting & hoping that he’d be like John. Tbh, I don’t know why they didn’t just make him handle legitimate business, rather than the criminal stuff, because he clearly wasn’t suited to it.

I can’t really say a lot about his relationship with Ada, because I don’t remember any significant scenes between them, apart from the scene in 5x01 where Finn gets shot and talks to Ada for minute after the bullet is removed. It’s pretty brief though. You’d think he’d have more scenes with his only sister, and I think it could’ve been interesting to see the difference between his relationship with her versus his relationship with his older brothers, who he always felt like he had something to prove to.

In S6, we see that he gets married to a woman named Mary. We know nothing about Mary. She’s in maybe 2 scenes. We know nothing about their relationship. There’s no development or love story for them. I truly don’t know why this was included in the show because it added absolutely nothing. I can only assume that the marriage might have some sort of relevance in the movie. If it doesn’t, I just don’t see the point in including it all. It was a meaningless moment.

His friendship with Billy Grade is ultimately the thing that ruins him. He quickly becomes close friends with Billy when they work together. He trusted Billy, because he was always more trusting than his brothers, so he told him things he shouldn’t have.

By the time we get to the end of S6, where he has to choose between shooting Billy, or saving him by shooting Duke or Isiah, he has been friends with Billy for years. It doesn’t really feel like that as a viewer because of the time jumps between seasons, but Billy was presumably his best friend by that point. With that in mind, was I supposed to be surprised that he tried to shoot Duke to save Billy? He didn’t know Duke. Duke meant nothing to him. Isiah used to be his friend, but they seem to have drifted apart as they got older. Obviously he wasn’t going to choose Duke, or Isiah, over his friend.

If Tommy and Arthur were in that room, instead of Duke and Isiah, I think things would’ve happened differently. When faced with a choice between his brothers and his friend, I think he would’ve chosen his brothers. I definitely don’t think he would’ve ever pointed a gun at either of them or tried to shoot them. But when faced with a guy he barely knew and a friend he wasn’t that close to anymore, he chose Billy. Yes, Billy was an informant, albeit a reluctant one, but he wasn’t only that to Finn.

Do I think he deserved to be disowned by the family at the end of S6 for this decision? No. I think he should’ve been punished in some way, and moved to the legitimate side of the business, because he simply wasn’t smart enough to handle the criminal side of things. I just find it hard to imagine the Shelby’s disowning one of their own, even one that does stupid stuff like Finn. That’s still their baby brother. I don’t like that as Finn’s ending in the show. It was bad enough when SK turned Michael into an antagonist; I don’t want to see Finn meet the same fate in the movie.

I’m really hoping Finn isn’t an antagonist in the PB movie. I really don’t want to see that. I don’t think that one situation with Billy would fully turn Finn against his family anyway. Against Duke maybe, but not his brothers. If he is one of the villains in the movie, I’m going to be disappointed. I’d rather see his final ending in the movie be him coming back into the family, and in some way finally earning the approval of his brothers. Perhaps he could do the whole double agent thing, where the audience thinks he’s a villain, but he’s actually helping his family. I don’t know, I just want more from him as a character than an antagonist storyline.

That’s kind of the way I felt about Finn the entire series; I just wanted more from him. He was always falling a bit short as a character for me. Never quite hitting the mark. I hope that he can finally reach his potential in the movie.

[outlaw-apologist]

Just seen the Charles x micah's sister reader, very cute :) !! Could we get some headcannons for micah and his sisters relationship? Like do they get along ? Thank you :)

Thank you for requesting, anon! It's a nice spring day. The sun is shining brightly and the mountain looks beautiful. I'm listening to the birds while the deer eat my bushes. This is a perfect day to write some HCs, so let's get to it!

Micah's Younger Sister - Headcannons

- Micah loves his sister but his version of love is very skewed. We know by the stories he tells of Amos he doesn't seem too fond of his brother; however, the letter Amos sends Micah suggests Micah cares enough about his brother, (and thought his brother cares enough about him), to inform him that he was not hanged and that he's doing well.

- This suggest to me that Micah does have some love for his siblings. I think he would really love a little sister. Especially if the age gap is big enough because he can probably easily get her to listen to him and do whatever he wants.

- We know that Micah Bell the II was an awful father. If Micah's sister grows up with him, I can't see Micah ever protecting her from their father's wrath. However, I do think he would offer to teach her how to stand up for herself.

- I view this in more of a 'sibling unity' type of way. He's not doing it to protect her, but because he wants his siblings to be at his level. They grew up the same way and endured the same abuse. I think Micah might feel as if his siblings are the only people on earth who will ever truly understand him.

- He teaches her how to use a gun. Probably buys her a gun specially engraved. Of course, his sister has a wicked quick draw, taught by one of the finest gunslingers.

- I also think Micah would gift her a hat that looks similar to his. It would make him swell like pride to see her in his image.

- They hang out a lot! Neither of them would admit it but they're best friends. His sister is his little buddy.

- It's odd having a brother who doesn't like women but likes you. It fills her with a sense of pride whenever Micah treats her better while simultaneously disgusting her.

- They'll go into town to see a show together every once in awhile or do mundane things like getting their horses shoed or stocking up at the general store.

- Of course Micah's favorite activity to do with his sister is to put her to work so he can rob folk easier. This is all she's even know, so to them it's more like a hobby and they always end up having a blast!

- Micah is clearly very bitter Amos didn't stick by him. After Amos leaves Micah would immediately sink his teeth into his sister, figuring out how to make sure she stays by his side.

- Because of this she ends up in the Van Der Linde gang!

- Micah has ways of being charming. Charming enough to eventually make a massive gang of his own. His sister is much more charming than Micah could ever be. She has a unique perspective on life. Being the youngest child of an outlaw, and a woman in a time where she had no rights. She knows a good sense of humor can be a matter of life or death.

- The SECOND Mary-Beth asks her if she likes to read they're immediately best friends! Micah's sister opens up to the other women of the camp easily and creates fantastic relationships with them.

- Despite being friendly with all the women, Micah's sister would be very weary of the men. Of course, she's probably out robbing with them. Used to violent misogyny all her life, it's much harder for her to connect with them even when she spends so much time amongst them.

- Javier would be the first one she opens up to, I think. And it's his music that lulls her into a sense of security. Every time Javier sits down to play his guitar or sing she comes to sit near him and listen until one day she finally compliments him and they start a very pleasant conversation. It also helps that Javier has befriended many of the women in camp. This helps her trust him more.

- Because she hasn't been treated the best by her father or other outlaws, Micah's sister has more empathy. I also don't think she'd follow Micah's footsteps when it comes to racism.

- Dutch repulses her. She's noticed his lingering eyes. His 'compliments' towards her spoken with hot breath. How many times had she been around men who've looked at her that way? Too many. She tries to avoid him the best she can.

- But Hosea???? She's shocked at how fatherly he is. He's kind, wise, and one of the first people to sit down with her to try and really get to know her. I think Micah's sister would yearn for a father figure who is gentler and more human than her father ever was. She opens up to him and wishes he would replace her father.

- The blow-out fights start when she develops a sense of security within the gang. No longer does she listen to Micah. She stopped dropping everything for his beck and call. She's beginning to form a better sense of self. She's safe here, secure, no longer does she have to do what everyone else wants her to do. Obviously Micah isn't very happy and it starts fights.

- Micah assumes it's just a phase and so he drops the subject after they scream back and forth for awhile.

- It isn't until Micah notices that his sister spends a lot of time with Arthur that he becomes furious and jealous. He begins to feel like she's slipping away from him. Their fights become worse and more viscous His sister refuses to back down because she can't understand why Micah is so threatened by her happiness. She doesn't realize, from Micah's point of view, she's abandoning him.

- Eventually Dutch has to step in and tell them to cut it out because they're disturbing the camp's peace. Micah and his sister hardly speak to each other after that except to give the other a snide comment every once in awhile.

- Despite this I think both siblings would be very broken up about it. Micah will feel abandoned while his sister feels betrayed.

- After awhile they're put on a job together. Things go south pretty quickly and they both manage to narrowly escape. While hiding in the forest, struggling to catch their breath, they look at each other and burst out laughing. Neither Micah nor his sister ever talk through their issues with one another. They simply decide they're okay with each other again and resume talking as if nothing ever came between them. Forgiveness is their silent apology.

- Sometimes you just have to accept your sibling chooses a different path but that bond can still remain.

- If she ever gets hurt or shot, Micah will go ape shit!!!! He loves an excuse to slaughter someone. That paired with the threat of his final family member being injured? Oh he'll wreck havoc on the poor soul that decided to fuck with his sister.

- As the days go on and Micah's betrayal becomes more and more clear. Some of the gang start projecting their feelings for Micah onto her. Watching her with great suspicion. This would hurt her deeply. She doesn't want to lose her new family and she'll struggle with this a lot.

- If she falls in love with anyone from the gang, she knows it needs to be kept a secret. If Micah ever finds out.... She knows her lover will "mysteriously" go missing one day.

- I think during the final showdown she wouldn't choose Micah's side. She decides to choose whatever life she started building for herself. Micah destroyed the gang that made her feel loved and accepted for the first time in her life. She's furious with him and can't even look at him anymore. If her lover survives, she'll choose to stay with the lover.

- After a few years guilt will eat away at her and she'll return to Micah, joining his gang. Despite her 'betrayal' I think Micah would welcome her with open arms.

- At the end of the day they're just two lost souls who accept each other in a very raw humanity type of way. No one will ever know them the way they know each other. After everything Micah and his sister have been through together they will always end up in the same place again and again.

[sapphire-weapon]

I think the fact that so many people want to label Leon/Ashley as canonically "sibling- coded" is because they feel threatened in the way they view other of Leon's relationships, they can tell Leon and Ashley have chemistry and they try to convince themselves that they have a familial bond going on (like Ellie/Joel) so that they can justify not shipping them and making people who ship it feel bad/weird.

Because nowadays so many people can't just dislike something, they have to make up a reason why it's morally wrong and unacceptable so that way they can bully people that think differently and feel like their own personal opinions are objective and right while everyone else is wrong smh. This is mostly the case with younger fans (tho a lot of people older than me does this too lmao) so that's why I don't really find it frustrating bc it's most likely they have limited real life experience. Plus they might not be that good at interpreting canon from contextual clues yet.

In my case though I think a lot of these people are actually doing the opposite tbh because to me it just shows that they recognize that Ashley's relationship with Leon is real and they can't even concede that they're friends in the canon because they know it could lead to something else if followed through in the story, they admit there's potential there subconsciously with how hard they try to make it seem otherwise with nonsense claims. It's like when insecure guys feel uncomfortable but try to seem tough by buying big trucks and having guns on them all the time lmao.

So, I've talked about this before -- about how the "sibling coded" or "problematic age gap" discourse is just modern-day fandom's way of slutshaming and engaging in casual misogyny in a societally acceptable way.

I'm pretty confident in saying that anyone in my generation who slaps "siblings" on Leon and Ashley are probably people who have another ship and have had it for a while and don't want Ashley getting in the way of it, tbh LMAO

Like.... my generation has co-opted the current generation's vernacular, but make no mistake about the kind of bitches we are. We're ship war bitches. That's all we've ever been AND WE ARE NOT GOING TO CHANGE OUR WAYS NOW fjdskfh

But if we're talking about the current generation...

Media illiteracy is a big factor in this. It's no secret to anyone that the US education system took a massive shit starting in the late aughts/early 2010s, and things like critical reading skills aren't being taught in schools anymore.

I graduated high school in 2007. Two years later, I went back to visit an old English teacher to get a letter of recommendation, and he was lamenting to me that he'd just given up. It wasn't worth trying to explain the deeper themes of Beowulf to kids who didn't care, because the only thing that mattered was getting them to pass standardized tests.

So, now, without an overt, explicit declaration of love or something visually concrete like a kiss, kids literally do not have the skills to parse through a text and pick out themes and tropes and use of symbolism and imagery. They were never taught how to do it.

But there's a more culture-based thing happening here, I think. It's this fucking mess of a cocktail of internalized misogyny paired with learned helplessness, social anxiety, intense sheltering possibly exacerbated by the pandemic shutdowns, peer pressure, and internet purity culture.

I think it's pretty safe to say that fandom is predominantly made up of women and teenage girls. That was true in the 60s in Star Trek fandom, it was true in my generation, and it's still true today. And what I've seen happening today is that young women are absolutely terrified of their own sexual agency -- because the internet keeps telling them that, if you're under 18, it is wrong and bad and unacceptable for you to engage with anything even remotely sexual and how dare you express your sexuality -- and you'd better not do it not just because it's wrong and bad, but also because you are GUARANTEED TO BE PREYED UPON IF YOU DO. SEX IS DANGEROUS ALL OF THE TIME AND YOU'RE LITERALLY TOO YOUNG AND TOO STUPID TO UNDERSTAND ANYTHING SO DON'T TRY TO EVEN THINK ABOUT IT. Because if you're 17 and he's 18, he's a pedophile!!!!!!!!

I just.

So, we've now basically turned an entire generation of young women into the same type of young women who created the BL genre in Japan. These are women who were too afraid to explore their sexuality on their own, and it felt safer to do it with two male characters, because it was always more "okay" for men to be sexual. This is happening here in the West, now.

Slash ships have always been a thing in the West, but not to the degree that they are today. In today's fandom, if you have an M/F ship at all, you are outnumbered by at least 3:1 -- because M/M just "feels" safer for a lot of the current generation.

So, I think young women look at the Remake portrayal of Ashley Graham, and they identify with her. A lot. They're probably around her age, and her personality is very relatable to the kind of girls who play video games. Ashley's clearly introverted, but she's a fast learner who just wants to help, and she's got a good heart and a weird, kind of awkward sense of humor.

And, not only do these girls identify with Ashley, they're probably thirsty as fuck for Leon.

But that's terrifying to them.

Because they have been taught to fear their own sexual agency. The idea that an attractive, traditionally masculine, older man would be romantically or sexually interested in them is immediately categorized in their brains as wrong and bad -- and they don't want to think of Leon in that way.

So... for them, it can't be romantic. It can't be sexual. But there's clearly something there, but Leon would never abuse or prey on anyone so... that bond must be a perfectly innocent familial affection. That's what it is. That's what it has to be, because anything else forces them to face the uncomfortable reality even young women like them go on dates and have sex -- and sometimes, it's with men like Leon.

So, they thirst over Leon at a safe distance through Luis, primarily. Or they self-indulge on reader fic, because that's so much easier to write off as "just a fantasy" and not a statement on who Leon actually is as a character.

And it's just kind of sad, man. It sucks to see this happen to an entire generation of young women.

That's why I don't really get mad when I see the "siblings" shit out in the wild. I just feel sad for those people -- because they can't just say "I don't like the ship." They're so insecure and neurotic that they have to think of a reason why the ship is literally impossible to ever happen so that they don't have to be worried about it.

One day, they'll finally suck a dick for themselves and learn that it's not that serious. It's really fuckin not. Dicks are stupid, and the boys that are attached to them are even dumber.

[aspd-culture]

Maybe this is internalized ableism or personal to myself and not ASPD more generally. but to me it feels as if even my exceptions represent a more immature and childish experience of relationships than the average prosocial has. I do care but I'm still so focused on myself. I need to be cared for but it's a labor to try and achieve a semblance of reciprocation of that care from my side. I assume things revolve around me and that others will be able to intuit my feelings/desires and others needs generally do not occur to me. Reading about normal adult relationships, I feel that i seem rather stunted and permanently in a developmentally inappropriate stage of relating to others. Could that be related to aspd?

Oh yeah, Exceptions may be when we see the lowest number or severity of symptoms, but those relationships still are not entirely or even mostly prosocial. I often feel like my partner is playing an older sibling role for me (and he knows and is cool with that - I sorta fill a mother role for him when my symptoms are less flared) rather than a typical romantic relationship in that he is the person I run to about the issues I have going on and he gives me support and such while understanding that I am not developed enough to always reciprocate or express things in the best way like he can and I might lash out sometimes because my feelings are too much for me to handle, and he helps with that too when he's able to. It's definitely giving "massive age gap" energy when in fact he was born the year before me.

It makes me feel childish but I have done a lot of work to get to a point where I don't care about being childish anymore in the presence of those who are chill about it/by myself. I was robbed of a childhood and if this guy is ok with helping me reclaim what I lost and is enthusiastically willing to be with me knowing this may be the best my symptoms ever get, that's his right. I'm not in the business of denying myself or my inner child and teen comfort just because it's immature by prosocial standards. I'm not prosocial, so I'll never fit them.

But don't worry, it took years of unlearning to get to that level of acceptance for myself. You'll get there in your own time. /gen

[1960z]

I keep seeing people trying to be optimistic about that article about the netflix adaptation of the picture of dorian gray; more specifically the decision to apparently make dorian and basil siblings in it, with the specific defence that “it might be incest” and I just…

1. I highly doubt netflix is going to pour resources into a show that revolves around a gay incestuous relationship. I just don’t think they’d do that. shows revolving around queerness being seen as profitable is still something quite new and while netflix was arguably at the forefront of that, when I think of the queer media they themselves have produced it’s either very wholesome… or at least set in a vacuum where straight people can “expect” queerness eg. prison. just because they recently put s1 of iwtv on their platform, I’m definitely not expecting them to suddenly start putting money into producing stuff with similar levels of dark subject matter. like iwtv really popular on here, but everywhere else, it’s not exactly mainstream.

2. even if I’m wrong, and it is incestuous, I don’t necessarily think that’s a good angle for basil and dorian’s relationship specifically. like I get it, tpodg is gothic, and dark and there’s a long history of exploring the incestuous in gothic literature, as well as victorian england putting the same amount of taboo on homosexuality as is put on incest today; BUT I think what makes the character of basil hallward specifically so interesting and in a lot of ways so tragic is that despite social attitudes towards homosexuality, his love for dorian is portrayed to be at its core, extremely pure. he always looks out for dorian and tries to do right by him despite how it hurts him, and he ends up literally dying for it. that’s why what happens to him in the end is so horrific. it also serves to contrast lord henry’s feelings towards dorian, which are much darker and manipulative. making their relationship incestuous you lose that because, combined with the age gap between basil and dorian, you suddenly now have the implication of genuine abuse on basil’s part you have to grapple with.

and again I don’t think this adds a level of complexity or darkness that is at all interesting because again the thing that I think that makes their dynamic interesting in the first place is that dorian kills an innocent man who loves him. that’s lost in this scenario.

3. even ignoring literally everything I’ve said up until now… I could not see that sort of decision being made with a straight romance. correct me if I’m wrong, give me examples, but execs looking at a non incestuous straight couple and saying “what if we added incest to this” just straight up would not happen. it’s still homophobia. especially because there’s a massive difference between queer people using certain taboos as metaphor for how maligned we feel by society and corporations and straight writers looking at a queer story and going “teehee what if we made this more scandalous.” there’s still homophobia in that, plain and simple.

tl;dr even in the unlikely event dorian and basil’s relationship is incestuous in this adaptation, I still believe making them siblings is an actively bad decision. I know that there’s a group of people on this site that love to embrace anything that seems like it could be dark or taboo in response to another group that clutch their pearls at anything that isn’t as wholesome as like… heartstopper, but also something being dark and taboo doesn’t inherently make it good or well written. and yes, sometimes we SHOULD be looking at ethical considerations especially in regards to who wants to tell this sort of story and why.

[shrimpmandan]

Hey, you seem knowledgeable about this so I'm asking directly:

I don't get the idea of someone portraying a taboo relationship as healthy in their fiction when they're not into it IRL. I do think if this someone isn't acting on their fantasy/supporting those who do, then there's no problem with them as a person; but I don't see how, let's say, someone who creates consensual (in-universe) adult/child content could do so without being either A) an adult fantasizing about children/teens B) a child/teen fantasizing about adults. Anyone else would be repulsed, although this may be a "your experiences are not universal" + having narrow social circles case on my part

Could be an adult fantasizing about being the child or a child fantasizing about being the adult (both would likely be products of trauma), but I think it all-in-all just depends on the specific details of such a relationship. Often times it's less "I'm into this / actively fantasize about this", and more "I think this is extremely fucked up and the portrayal of it in a positive light serves both as a thought experiment, and as a source of moral conflict", at least how I see it.

Like, I don't actively fantasize about being in toxic or abusive relationships, but I still fucking love writing about them and often portray them as being complicated. I'm not one to end off toxic relationships with someone dying or going their separate ways, because while that's typically the more realistic and often gut-wrenching outcome, what I personally get out of the dynamic is the drama, angst, and the idea that the two of them-- through immense work-- can at some point be healthy even if most others would find their relationship massively fucked up. The same can very much apply to incest or questionable / straight-up objectionable age gaps-- this idea of love, no matter how twisted, surpassing societal barriers and moral quandaries, is one that's historically been appealing. Just apply that to relationships between siblings or between different age demographics, and there ya go. That sense of love in SPITE of the fucked-up nature of their relationship, not explicitly because of the taboo, can be a fascinating one to explore.

When talking about adult/minor specifically, from what I've seen, it's almost never portrayed as realistic and positive at the same time. The minor either isn't negatively impacted by the age difference, or their cognition is comparable to the adult's, or the adult treats them as an equal despite the obvious power imbalance. Or hell, maybe the power dynamic is outright inversed. I can't really answer WHY someone would find those dynamics appealing because it's super personal, but I can say that even though I usually fit into the "projecting onto the minor" camp, that isn't the main motivation for me shipping adult/minor stuff. It's usually just out of intrigue for their dynamic completely in spite of the age difference, or using the age difference as a point of contention for relationship drama. I find toxic relationships to be utterly fascinating in any context, so I incidentally find them to be more appealing, but I'm personally not the type to be actively turned on BY the age difference.

I'm sorry if this is all over the place or doesn't answer your question! It's honestly a difficult one to answer because I don't know a ton of avid adult/minor shippers, and the way I portray my own taboo/toxic relationships is as a mixed bag as opposed to explicitly negative or explicitly positive. That, and I have the trauma motivation behind it that means I kinda fit into one of the camps you mentioned by default, even if I don't consciously filter those ships through that lens. If anyone wants to weigh in with their own thoughts, feel free.

[antiloreolympus]

10 Anti LO Asks

1. A deconstruction (which its definition is to look at the smaller parts and whys of how something was created) of the HxP myth would be looking into how ancient values played into why Persephone & Demeter were left out of the decision making process, why Hades didn't properly court her, what went into Demeter being away from Olympus and why she stood up for her daughter instead of accepting it, etc, not making up everything to where it resembles no myth at all. That's lying, not deconstruction.

2. RS def seems like she read about tropes AFTER LO was published and seems to think “ah yes that’s what I’m doing too!” But that’s not how it works?? Like she also claimed LO was a “twist on the monster boyfriend” genre when it’s very clearly not?? She seems to think even mentioning something or having even a vague similarity to a common writing trope is in fact the trope and by virtue of her being the writer she’s “deconstructing” it when she’s?? Not using those tropes or deconstructing them?? Also she needs to stop claiming she’s deconstructing anything. When she actually plays with actual tropes (like the massive age gap with the man as the more powerful one to the woman who needs him) it’s entirely played straight, which is the exact opposite of deconstructing? Idk it seems like trying to come off as more clever of a writer than she is when it’s ok to admit she’s not? Like girl you’re using common fanfic tropes from 2014 please stop acting like you’re deeper than that. 

3. Rachel: MY character Persephone

Greece and it’s people, both ancient and modern: excuse me?

4. ngl i feel like Persephone/Kore was deliberately dumbed down from the start of the comic to play up the angle of her as a pure and innocent uwu bean. it removes depth from her character because in the earlier chapters she was naive but not completely ignorant. but then she's only 19. and then goddesses of eternal maidenhood. and then her not knowing basic phrasing of "sleeping to the top" despite knowing in chapter 1 that Zeus and his brothers are known because they sex a lot...they stole her brain cells

5. Also can we talk about how horrifying Hera's actions are from Demeter's point of view. Imagine your sibling setting up your child with their brother in law. A dude as old as you. Behind your back. Your college age daughter. Not once even thinking to check with you before creating and internship specifically to give them a chance to hook up. And we are supposed to find Demeter's outrage funny. Man I would murder my sibling.2-2

6. I just wish the people who insist there actually is this super special secret ~real~ version of the H/P myth actually backed it up, because as soon as you press them on it they immediately go silent and try and change the subject. Like surely if it's this well known and real, show us the proof! Hell, make Rachel show proof of it that's not just a tumblr post! I'll wait!

7. at best maybe you could argue the shades being "unpaid labor" is a commentary on unpaid internships but 1) even internships end, the shades are stuck with that forever, 2) they are done willingly, the shades are forced into it, but also 3) rachel does realize even then hades is still the bad guy in it, right? like idk how she thought he looks GOOD for it? yt women are so weird.

8. OSP also while defending Hades and Persephone as the only "functional" relationship and that the kidnapping was "just how marriage went" will insist Zeus, Apollo, and others are evil for having (actual) consenting relationships with women they carried off (as opposed to Hades, where the text always says he kidnaps her). Anyone acting like OSP or Rachel are good faith actors for actual mythology knowledge and not a vessel of their Tumblr rotted biases is ignoring what's right in front of them.

9. what i dont get is you get the stans defending it like "we need this because i also have a bad mom too!!" like ok one please go to therapy but also if you really need to feel "represented" in myth with a bad mom then the eros and psyche myth is right there, or any myth with hera, or clytemnestra is right there, and many more. they dont need to have rachel butcher one of the few positive mother-daughter myths feel "represented", esp when it's to prop up a man who was the bad party in the OG myth.

10. RS cant even explain persephone's ridiculous coloring without overstating how ~perfect~ she is. i would actually respect how nonsensical and immature this writing is if it werent for the fact RS much fancies herself the next Homer who is also the peak of feminist literature and is improving the mythology. yes, the gods are better and more beautiful than any mortal, but it's an even field when its just them. persephone being "perfect" doesnt make up for her lack of .. anything, really.

[ssuckitlosers]

This is not what I was originally going to write about, but I derailed myself lol. I included the gist of what I was thinking under the cut, sorry this got so long x.x

Since I mentioned North though; why is North the same age as Ireland? It opens such a massive can of worms and I’m so conflicted about it. 

Because on one hand, I really like them being twins (I think I’ve mentioned this before ages ago) but North being the youngest is just so good! Especially in a human au. 

Like Alistair, Dylan and Arthur share the two same parents. 

(I tend to picture them having a Welsh dad, English mum and a really Scottish grandad that Alistair spent the majority of his childhood with. I’ll skip the specifics or this post will be ridiculously long.)

And one parent remarries for whatever reason, bringing Seamus as the step-sibling and then having Connor as their half brother.

Though I will admit, part of me likes this set up purely because- just like canon- I cannot decide who the oldest sibling is. And I can make Scotland, Wales and Ireland all a very similar age (like a one year difference between them) by making Ireland a step-sibling. 

I also love Arthur being maybe 3-4 years younger than them because fanfics have solidified the idea of him being the baby of the family in my mind.

Without the age gap, Arthur believing his brothers are the worst/don’t care about him, just doesn’t work the same.

I love when Arthur is shown/explored to have a skewed perception of his brothers and their relationship. 

It fits Arthur’s character and is an understandable perception for him to have given that their family dynamic consists of a lot of tough love/teasing/fighting/ect. But I think its more understandable/sympathetic when he is a few years younger than the rest of his brother.

Because not only, is he somewhat left out due to their age difference, but he also wouldn’t fully understand the reasons his brothers would have for acting a certain way or making certain choices.

Only once he’s older would he be able reflect on those memories and see their perspective, or appreciate how much effort went into certain things.

Like he’d remember all the times Alistair made fun of his toy rabbit, but overlook the time Alistair found the rabbit after he had lost it and he wouldn’t think about how many hours it took him to find the toy in the first place.

Of course this also works without the age gap. It wouldn’t be out of character for Arthur to overlook good memories in favour of the negative ones, or to assume that Alistair simply found the rabbit by luck rather than effort.

But I don’t like that as much.

As for North, I lean towards him being like 5+ years younger than Arthur. I quite like Arthur still having a younger sibling while also getting to be the youngest for a fair chunk of time. But I also like Sealand being an annoying younger cousin who kind of fills the same role.

Basically, let’s add this to the growing number of posts where I have debated and changed my mind over how I view the Ireland’s. Next time I’ll definitely be back on the twins train because I have already changed my mind while writing about Arthur being the youngest lmao.

But who is the oldest? I’m sure this thought process is shown through multiple past posts but I tend to see Scotland as the oldest, but very close in age with Ireland (usually I view it those two as having less than a year between them.) Unless, it’s nyo!Ireland because I like her being the oldest, though they’d still be close in age. 

However, I cannot see North as being the same age as Ireland lowkey. He just seems like he should be youngerrrr. If we’re counting them as twins then I’d have to make them both the 3rd eldest and I’d probably make Wales the oldest...

Honestly Wales consistently causes me problems, but I think I finally have a better grasp for his character. At the very least, Wales is very close in age to whoever’s the eldest. But he lowkey gives me a lot of middle child energy.

This post was meant to originally focus on Scotland, Wales and England and I was going to more on their personalities and general dynamic of them as a group/family...

However, when I was thinking about their personalities/dynamic, I think I kind of figured out why I view Scotland and Wales as being older. 

Hws Scotland, to me at least, feels like he’d take the role of being the protector/provider within the family. If they need something he’ll make sure they get it. He’ll make sure there’s food on the table basically, even if it is at personal sacrifice to himself. He has his flaws but he’ll be there for the family at the end of the day.

Hws Wales, on the other hand, is lowkey the glue keeping the family together. He’s the one arranging plans for them to spend time together and making sure they all stay in touch. He’s is often the ‘leader’ figure within their family. He’s very good at getting them all working together, or doing what he wants them to. I also imagine he’s very good in a crisis, when Arthur and Alistair may not be.

They are essentially the two main providers within the family? I don’t really know how to explain that. Like Alistair would provide more physical/material support whereas Dylan provides the emotional support. Maybe a good example is that while I think Alistair would kill someone for his family, Dylan would be the one who comes up with the plan to hide the body. 

Slight sidenote, but I think that Dylan is able to remain calm in situations where his brothers could not.

Alistair’s a do-er, he will typically take direct and immediate action, but he’s not really a planner. Tell him what to do and he’ll do it but he’s not someone you’d go to when you... don’t know what to do with this dead body, for example. He’d help you hide it and would take the blame for you but he’s not someone who would easily knows what to do in stressful/unexpected situations.

Arthur is more of a planner, but he’s also pretty individualistic. If he committed the action himself, then he can usually think of a way to get himself out of it. However, when someone else has done it, he tends to focus on trying to understand the how’s and why’s, rather than focus on the task at hand.

Whereas, Dylan is planner but also generally better at working with others. He might be a bit more optimistic or just more trusting than Arthur, either way he doesn’t waste time asking questions he doesn’t need to know. He’s also good at keeping calm and making sure everyone stays calm as well. And he can take unexpected situations in stride.

Alright, I really should shut up now because this got ridiculously long, if anyone actually read all this rambling thank you! Hopefully it wasn’t totally incomprehensible lol. I still might write another post comparing/generally discussing how Scotland, Wales and England would make a good team, because I think it could be interesting to talk about. 

Also one last random point I wanted to mention:

In a human au, I have the habit of thinking that Arthur would be the first one in his family to go to university but Alistair would definitely be a good doctor/surgeon. If Arthur is the first one in his family to go to university then I think it would be a privilege he could afford because he was the youngest. And, as I mentioned before, Alistair would probably put Arthur going to uni above himself. I still haven’t decided on what I see Wales doing though...

[lostonehero]

Hoenn time

Or an excuse to write siblings

Maxie's ringtone went off again for the tenth time this meeting and Steven was ready to throw his pen at the man. Macie sighs and glares at Archie who looks away feigning innocence. "Someone turned on my volume, I apologize." Maxie sighs and takes out his phone, the meeting thankfully over.

     Archie giggling. "Oh got a lover Maxie?"

      Matt chuckles. "No no it's probably his doctor for those glasses of his."

     Shelly smirks. "I bet it's the financial updates on his phone because Maxie isn't getting any."

      Steven sighs and looks at Maxie. "Well what's so important that your phone has kept going off Maxwell."

     Maxie glares at Steven. "First my full name is Maximus named after someone who was close to my grandmother, and second it's my sister and brother, not whatever you guys were talking about."

     "Your siblings?" Archie looks over confused, Maxie doesn't talk about his family. Hell Maxie doesn't even mention anything personal about himself even though Archie has tried to ask Maxie out but apparently 15 years is too big of an age gap. Archie is 30 he is an adult he can make his own choices, and that choice is the desire to date Maxie.

     Maxie gets up, he seems to make himself look smaller than he actually is, but everyone assumes it was because of his hunched back and bent knees. He had weirdly large feet that shouldn't be physically possible unless he was over 8ft. His face is also caked in makeup but it doesn't seem to do anything but make him look older.  "Yes I have a family." Maxie huffs and crosses his arms. "Also why are you two shocked, we actually look quite similar to each other."

      "Maxie, you know that explains nothing when we haven't met any of your siblings." Archie sighs and gets up looming over Maxie. "Also it wouldn't be a shock if you weren't such a private person."

      Maxie rolls his eyes. "Yeah and if you weren't an open book maybe you would be interesting."

      Archie sputters and huffs following Maxie out as they continue to bicker.

     Wallace clears his throat. "So are you guys sure they aren't dating?"

    Tabitha sighs. "They aren't le- Maxie doesn't want to date Archie who is 15 years younger than him."

     Steven sighs. "And nobody wants to touch on the fact the blue and red orbs shattered white in containment." He throws his hands up. "Why do I even try these meetings?"

      "Steven they weren't even near them when it happened, and the fact they weren't even by each other means that they didn't have anything to do with it." Wallace sighs. "Besides, will they won't they? Is much more fascinating, I want to raise my bet that Archie will ask again and Maxie will say yes finally."

     Courtney nods and opens a locked safe that she keeps in her bag. "Would anyone else like to change their wager?" Her voice is robotic as always.

    "Oh hell yeah, I want 50 more on Maxie finally kissing Archie to start the relationship." Matt adds in.

    Courtney nods and takes the money watching Steven leave in a huff.

……

     Maxie sighs as he shuts the door to his room and locks it. Yes he still lived in the Magma base, a lot still do. He sighs and straightens up removing his shirt throwing his glasses to the bed then taking off his pants leaving his boxers and very long binder on as he slowly unzips the binder, two massive Flygon wings and a tail unfurl from under the binder as he finally stands up straight stretching he takes off his boots last letting his long talloned clawed feet stretch out as well. He pulls off his gloves letting his scaled hands and claws free as he opens a group call with his siblings.

     He places his phone on the vanity as he begins to remove his colored contacts revealing entirely red eyes with black pupils no white in sight. He then takes out his teeth coverings revealing sharp teeth and sighs. "You two better have a good reason for bothering me, I warned you guys I was in a meeting." Maxie begins to remove the makeup on his face making him look much younger then he removes the dye covering his antenna and the green stands out against his red hair. 

     "Why are you complaining you always have your phone on silent?" The female voice pauses then laughs. "Ohhhhhh did that pirate turn your volume on? That's hilarious."

    "Haha yeah really funny Ari. I am trying to not let him get attached. First he's too young." Maxie sighs.

     "30 is not too young Max." A male voice spoke up.

     "He's also human." Maxie tries to argue 

     "My husband is human, try another excuse Maxie."

      "Well your husband also has a biological trigger to make him not human in the firm of the pokemon you guys created or am I wrong." Maxie huffs returning to his phone.

     "And we are never going to do that, unless Silver is in danger." Ari huffs. "Also your point is moot because again he is still human."

     "She's right Maxie." Roark added.

     "You have no say in this Roark, you've never been in love before." Maxie sighs then covers his mouth. "Fuck you didn't hear that."

     "AHA." Ari yells and a male voice is heard in the background cursing. "Damn right I was right hand it over Gio." 

     "You guys were betting on me?" Maxie sighs. "You know what, I'm not surprised."

     "Hey don't lump me in with them, I'm a good guy." Roark huffs.

     "Oh hush Roark." Maxie sighs. "But that doesn't mean anything, he's still human, and unlike Giovanni he doesn't even know half pokemon or alpha pokemon exist."

      Ari pauses and she knows what Maxie is afraid of happening again. "Right right whatever. From what you tell me Archie is a boy scout like Roark."

     "Hey rude." Roark huffs.

      "Oh hush up Roark." Ari sighs. "You told me Archie hates poachers." She sighs hearing the soft oh from Roark before continuing. "He won't turn you in or out you."

     Maxie frowns and lays down wings splayed out under him. "I know Ari I know, and nobody in the underground battle ring sold me out either, I just can't risk it." He sighs. "I remember how awful it was and how long it took to grow back."

     "Maxie you were 15 I know, and I regret not watching over you." Ari trails off hearing Maxie sigh again.

     "First off not your fault, secondly mom didn't want you watching me because we always caused chaos together." Maxie snickers. "Roark was just digging holes and chewing on rocks."

     "Again rude, and you chew on rocks Maxie." Roark huffs. "You two are terrible."

    "Yes but I gave mom a grandkid." Ari snickers.

     "You also ran and purposely destroyed a criminal empire and everyone thinks that a kid destroyed your empire." Roark huffs.

     "So? That's still better than nearly causing the end of the world." Ari giggles.

     "You know what fuck both of you." Maxie sighs but is smiling. "Roark, you need to do something bad now."

    "I would rather not." Roark huffs. "You two stick to the evil stuff I'm going to dig my holes."

      "You don't even keep any of the jewels you find. That's not very dragon-like." Ari huffs covering up a laugh.

     "But then I would have no room for anything." 

      "Yes Roark the gym leader who could be richer than Ari, but no you don't like gems." Maxie snickers then laughs causing Ari to laugh.

     "You both suck at least I'm not the middle child." Roark laughs hearing Maxie huff. 

     "Just for that I'm hanging up." 

     "Wiar wait wait before you do." Roark quickly adds in.

     "What?" Maxie sighs.

      "Temper Temper." Roark teases getting a loud huff then Maxie hangs up causing both siblings to laugh.

[writingwithacupoftea]

Quiet

Summary: Following Grace’s death, Tommy shuts himself off from the rest of the world, dealing with all of the noise in his head alone. But Y/N Shelby will be damned if she doesn’t try to help her brother...

Word Count: 3158

A/N: This has unexpectedly become my 200 follower celebration fic, so thank you again!! I was getting my doctor-prescribed daily dose of Cillian Murphy the other day watching his video about the rise of Tommy Shelby, and the part where he talks about Tommy being burdened by his intelligence for some reason made me think of Matilda. So, the song ‘Quiet’ from Matilda the Musical (which I love btw, I’m a massive musical theatre nerd) became the inspiration for this fic. Hope you enjoy it!!

Y/N Shelby was always a source of amazement to the rest of her family. Being the second youngest of the Shelby clan, it had come as a shock to her three elder brothers that she could be quite as ruthless as them when it came to business and enemies who threatened her family. However, it wasn't just that which truly surprised them: it was the fact that she still managed to retain her heart of gold. This was largely reserved for her family and, despite the violence and atrocities committed by them in front of her very eyes, she loved them unconditionally (even if they were a pain in the arse sometimes).

When Tommy bought Arrow House, he also acquired the little cottage on the estate. Knowing that Y/N was getting restless at the prospect of still living with her family as she approached her twenties, Tommy had given the place to her to do with as she wished. This arrangement pleased both siblings immensely. Tommy and Y/N had always had an incredibly close relationship, despite the large age gap, and the cottage's location meant that Y/N got the independence that she so desperately wanted, whilst also being close enough for them to see each other as often as they wished.

(As well as this, it gave Tommy peace of mind that the only way to access the cottage was to cross the grounds which lay in front of Arrow House. This meant that any enemies would have to go past the blinders stationed in front of his house, then through Tommy himself, and finally deal with the blinders outside of Y/N's cottage in order to get to her. Oh, and he always knew when she dared to bring a boy back with her.)

Everything was going perfectly, and Tommy and Y/N were, for once, happy with their lives.

And then Grace died.

For two weeks after the funeral, Tommy spent most of his time riding around the estate, thinking by himself. He didn't want to see anyone apart from his son. Sometimes, depending on where he stopped at night, Y/N could see her brother at a distance from her living room. She longed to run to him, not to tell him that she was sorry and offer her condolences because she knew he'd be sick of that already. Y/N just wanted Tommy to know that he didn't have to fight every battle alone.

Then, out of the blue, there came a point when he stopped doing that. Instead, Tommy chose to throw himself into his work, providing a different type of isolation. He barely left the house, locking himself away in his office, and when he did go out on business he hardly told a soul. According to Mary (who secretly phoned Y/N every week to let her know how Tommy was doing) he seemed lifeless now, as if he were the one that died, not his wife. Her employer was even quieter than he usually was, and Y/N knew that that was when his brain got the loudest.

Y/N refused to sit by and let him destroy himself for any longer...and she knew just the trick to bring her brother back to life.

***

The phone on Tommy's desk seemed to ring even louder than usual, adding to his pounding headache. He hadn't left the house in three days, not that he'd noticed it, and was more on-edge than ever. With a sigh, he picked up the receiver.

"Tom?" Despite the million thoughts that clogged up his brain, he couldn't help the flicker of a smile that passed over his face upon hearing his little sister's light voice, something he'd gotten so used to when she'd lived with him. But that calm didn't last long before his brain went into overdrive again.

"You alright?" He had tried his best to keep any tones of alarm and worry at bay, but knew that he had failed when his voice faltered on the last word.

"I'm fine, I just need to you pop over and help me move a bookcase."

Resisting the urge to roll his eyes, Tommy replied steadily, "Y/N, I'm waiting on about three different phone calls and I have a business to run. Why don't you ask -" He paused, looking at the list in front of him, "Ben or Harry to help you, eh?" (They were in charge of guarding Y/N's house during the daytime this week, according to the rota.)

"I mean I would do, but I've given them the weekend off, and quite frankly you're the closest other person, Tom."

The man in question froze. "You've sent Ben and Harry away?"

"Yes."

"For an entire weekend?"

"Yes."

"And you didn't tell me about it?"

"That's about the size of it, yeah."

"What the fuck do you think you're playing at Y/N?" Tommy was shouting now, furious that his sister would be this stupid. "I thought you had more sense than this!"

"Actually, Thomas, I think in this case I've got more sense than you. They've been outside this house for two, nearly three, weeks now because you haven't stood them down and you won't let me do it myself. How do you expect them to do their job properly if they're dead on their feet?"

Tommy fell silent, his heart beating at a mile a minute, worry taking over from his anger. What if someone took advantage of this moment? What if they used this opportunity to take his sister from him, like they took his wife? He was terrified, and the worst part was that it would be entirely his fault: he should never have let this fuck up happen, he should've kept a closer eye on his sister. Y/N lived on his grounds, anyone that came for Tommy would inevitably go for her as well.

He didn't even bother to try and conceal the tremor in his voice when he finally spoke again. "Okay, I'm coming over. Do not, I repeat, do not leave your house, alright? Don’t open the door to anyone but me, either. Have you got a gun with you?"

"Tom, you made sure that an entire armoury was installed here before I even set foot in the place, yes I have a gun."

"Good. Keep it with you, make sure it's loaded. I'm on my way."

Tommy hadn't even put the receiver down before he was on his feet, scrambling to get ready. Guilt and worry consuming him, Tommy made another phone call to get some more men stationed outside Arrow House, went up to the nursery and kissed Charlie goodbye, and then told Mary of his plan. Tommy would be staying with his sister until Monday morning – he was taking his sister's safety into his own hands this time.

It was common knowledge that the patriarch of the Shelby family didn't give a toss about religion any more, but as his pace quickened down the drive of Arrow House that Saturday morning, he sent a prayer up to anyone who was listening that he wouldn't be too late.

***

Livid. That's the only way to describe how Tommy felt upon turning the corner to his sister's cottage. For there she was, stood in the open doorway, clearly waiting for him. As he got closer, Tommy noticed that Y/N was wearing one of his old shirts under her worn grey cardigan, with a gun tucked into the top of her rolled up, oversized trousers. She also had a gentle smile on her face, the one that was reserved only for her family members.

Shaking a stern finger at his sister as he marched over to her, Tommy stated in a dangerous tone "I told you to stay indoors."

Y/N's smile moulded into a smirk. "Yeah, and I told you that Ben and Harry had the weekend off, not that there was no one guarding the house. Eddie and Will took their place last night."

Tommy ran a hand through his hair, whether out of relief or frustration, neither of the siblings knew. "You are in so much trouble." His tone was far from teasing, and anyone else would be quaking at the knees. But not Y/N.

"I thought I would be, but you can shout at me as we walk." Y/N grabbed a large basket from inside the door before locking it. "Come on!"

"You're not going fucking anywhere until -"

"You know, Thomas, the further away I get the less I'll be able to hear of you telling me off." Y/N hadn't even turned around or stopped to say it, she just kept walking.

"For fuck's sake," Tommy muttered angrily under his breath and then started moving to try and catch up with her.

***

"For what it's worth, I'm sorry for making you panic so much." Tommy had only just caught up to Y/N, and had opened his mouth to continue speaking when she cut him off. "I knew you wouldn't leave the house unless I made you think that I was in danger. You were always too good of a big brother to risk that."

Tommy was rendered speechless by her words. He had neglected her for over a month, barely speaking to her and never visiting – how could she still claim that he was a good brother?

As if she could hear his thoughts, Y/N continued to speak. "You're grieving, Tom. I didn't expect anything from you, no matter how much I wanted to see you. Although you haven't been checking that the blinders change over, that part of my call was true. But I've been taking care of it, so I've been safe the entire time. Don't go blaming yourself for anything else."

"We thought that Grace was safe." That was the first thing that Tommy had said in minutes, and his anger at being lured into his sister's trap lay forgotten for the time being. Y/N simply placed her free hand into the crook of Tommy's arm and squeezed it.

"You probably think I'm so selfish for doing this, but I promise I'm not just doing it for me." She paused, almost reluctant to put her next question out into the open. "Everything's getting loud again, isn't it?"

Tommy stared at the ground as they kept walking further and further away from either of their houses, wordlessly confirming her suspicions. He let out a small chuckle. "You always know, don't you, sweetheart? For someone so young, you don't miss much."

Y/N breathed out a laugh. "When you grow up with John and his bloody booby traps all over the house, you do tend to notice everything and more."  

That was enough to bring out the first proper smile that Tommy had produced since his wife's death. He had forgotten what a tonic his sister could be – just her presence and gentle voice was enough to soothe him and ease some of his pain. Tommy brought his free hand up to rest on top of her small one, still nestled into the crook of his arm, and she responded by leaning her head against his shoulder contentedly.  

They continued to walk in silence before Tommy realised that, for once, he had no clue what they were doing. When he asked, his sister's answer made him stop in his tracks.

"Nothing?"

"Yep." Y/N smiled at him proudly. "Absolutely nothing."

"Y/N, I don’t have time to -"

"Everyone has the time to do nothing, Tommy, even you." Her brother sighed in defeat, knowing that there was no point in starting an argument over it (the look that Y/N was giving him was enough to tell him that he'd lost it before it had even begun).

"Alright, fine. But how am I supposed to do nothing and clear my head at the same time, eh?" His tone boarded on impatient.

"You'll figure it out soon enough." Y/N responded, calmly.

***

She was right, of course. They had laid down the blankets that had been tucked away in Y/N's basket and for a while they simply watched the clouds dancing across the sky, bringing back fond memories for Tommy: he had done this countless times with his mother before she passed, and afterwards he used to take a much younger Y/N out to do the same before the war took over. Tommy let the rustling of the wind in the trees and the singing of the birds melt away the endless stream of thoughts in his head. His sister had also been clever enough to bring them so far out into the Warwickshire countryside that he knew that no-one would find them, causing a feeling of safety and freedom to wash over him for the first time in years.

Tommy reached over and held Y/N's hand in his, and whispered "Thank you, bug," just loudly enough for her to hear.

Y/N turned her head to smile at him and squeezed his hand. But then she frowned at her brother, causing him to mirror her expression. "Tom, you've got some grey hairs coming. Seriously, I can see them now, just at the side."

His lips parted in shock as her expression turned into one of mirth. "You cheeky fucker." Tommy's tone was deadly serious; however, Y/N knew her brother well enough to know what was coming next. She just managed to roll out of the way before Tommy's hand reached out to tickle her stomach.

Before they both knew it, Y/N was running like her life depended on it and Tommy was following in hot pursuit, uncontrollable laughter bubbling out from both of them.

***

A few hours later and night had fallen. Tommy had built a fire some time ago, and Y/N was sat by it, reading. He realised that, whilst the scene wasn't too dissimilar to the one he created every night in the weeks following Grace's funeral, it was also entirely different. Before, he had only focused on the thoughts constantly whizzing around in his brain, not noticing anything else going on around him.  

But now, everything was quiet. Not silent, for that would surely send all of the noise flooding back into his head. The sounds of the pages turning steadily in his sister's book provided that nice sort of quiet which meant that that noise just...stopped. Y/N hadn't actually tried to distract him from his grief or his thoughts, either, or tried to get him to talk about it as so many other people had done; all Y/N did was bring him physically away from everything and been there, a strong presence without pressure. For that, he loved her more than ever.

Tommy looked up as Y/N released a long sigh, having just finished her last chapter. He noticed her shiver slightly when a cool breeze brushed over the field, and fished another blanket out of the basket as she walked over to sit next to him. Tommy wrapped the soft material tightly around her and placed his arm around her shoulder, pulling her in for a one-armed hug.  

Breaking the silence, Y/N looked up and said "The stars are so much brighter out here than in Small Heath."

Tommy hummed in agreement. "When you were little and we were on the road with mum, I used to point out all the different constellations to you."

"I don't remember that."

"Well, you were always about half asleep."

"Do you still remember them?"

"I do."

"Would you show me them again?"

The question was asked with such innocence that Tommy glanced down at his sister, and saw her bright blue eyes staring back up at him, eyes that had him wrapped around her little finger. He laid down, patting the space next to him, encouraging her to do the same. "Let's have a look then, shall we?"

He was rewarded with a big, beaming smile.

***

When Y/N started to yawn and her eyelids began to droop, lulled by the warmth and her brother's steady voice, Tommy decided that it was time for them to head back. He bundled everything back into the basket bar one blanket, which he layered on top of the other one covering his sister once they started walking away from the dying fire (despite Y/N's apparent annoyance at his fussing).

Tommy was still set on staying in his sister's spare room for the weekend, wanting to make up for lost time. Part of him also still worried that she would be taken away from him, and knew that there wasn't much chance of him sleeping if he returned to his own bed. After all that she had done for him today, Tommy couldn't bear to leave her just yet.

He carried the basket in one hand, and Y/N had wrapped both of her arms around his other arm, revelling in the chance to be so close to her brother again, and not just physically. Y/N wasn't naïve in her view of Tommy: he was cold, brutal, rude and relentless, and she knew that. But she had also never wavered in her belief that parts of the Tommy that she knew before the war were still there; they were simply buried deep within, so much so that it was slowly becoming more and more difficult to bring them to the surface.  

However, looking up and noting the absence of a crease between Tommy's brows, she couldn't help but feel that she could afford herself a small victory this time.

"I'm always here for you, Tom," Y/N mumbled, seemingly out of the blue. "When you need some quiet, and remember that I always know when you do, I'll never get bored of things like this."

Tommy was silent, and Y/N wondered if she'd ruined it and pushed it too far. But then she heard him clear his throat and quietly reply "That sounds perfect, sweetheart," and her worries washed away in an instant.

***

As the siblings stepped over the threshold of the cottage, exhaustion hit both of them. Y/N headed to the kitchen and Tommy made his way towards the living room. Upon his arrival, however, he stopped in the doorway and simply stared in...

"Y/N?" He called, confusion seeping into his voice.

The woman in question appeared behind him, and peered over her brother's shoulder at the bookcase abandoned in the middle of the room. "Fuck, I'd forgotten about that. Well, you can move it out of the way while I make tea – it's what I called you here to do anyway." Y/N began to wander back towards the kitchen, ignoring the befuddled, yet amused, expression on her brother's face. "Thanks Tom, love you!"

"Love you too, darling," Tommy murmured, not loud enough for her to hear, a full and genuine smile gracing his features.

Yep, he thought, his sister was definitely one of a kind, but he wouldn't change her for the world; and no matter what else he did, he refused to fail Y/N again.

[longitudinalwaveme]

The CW Rogues: My Biggest Gripe With the 2014 Flash Show

In many ways, the CW Flash show is what got me into comics. While I had watched (and loved) Justice League and Justice League Unlimited and read loads of DC guidebooks as a kid, it wasn’t until I saw a clip from the 2014 CW Flash show that I really got invested in the DC Universe. While I had already started watching B:TAS (and loving it), Batman wasn’t what got me into comics. No, that was the Flash...or rather, it was Captain Cold. While watching a clip from the Justice League episode Flash and Substance on YouTube, I saw a link to a clip from “Family of Rogues” (from Season 2 of CW’s Flash). Intrigued by the premise, I found the show on Netflix, watched the entire episode, and was hooked. Not only was the Flash just as nice as he had been on Justice League, but two of his Rogues were siblings, and they actually cared about one another. I wanted to know more, so I looked Captain Cold and the Golden Glider up. My research into Cold and Glider led me to the other Rogues, and soon I became a Flash fan. I watched the show, I re-watched “Flash and Substance”, I read articles about the characters from the comics...and eventually, I started reading the comics themselves. I loved the characters and the lore, and I enjoyed the generally lighthearted tone of the books even into the modern era. Unfortunately, as I learned more about the comics, I grew less and less interested in the 2014 TV show. It made too many alterations to character I liked in the comics...and eventually, I basically stopped watching the show out of frustration. Ironically enough, by getting me into comics, the show alienated me from itself....and a big reason for that was the way it handled the Rogues. Here’s a rundown of the CW Rogues, and why I was frustrated with most of them. 

1. Captain Cold. I actually enjoy Captain Cold on the CW show; he’s recognizable as Len Snart and his sarcasm game is on point. (It doesn’t hurt that Wentworth Miller is really attractive, either). His relationships with Lisa, Mick, and Barry are fantastic, and it’s a relief to have him be treated as a competent threat. That being said...he’s a bit too suave for Captain Cold, isn’t he? Silver Age Cold thought he was suave, but he wasn’t; and modern Captain Cold is middle-aged, grouchy, and very rough around the edges. His smooth, suave nature reminds me more of classic Sam (the original Mirror Master) than Captain Cold. 

2. Heat Wave. Dominic Purcell did a great job with the role he was given, and physically he’s an excellent match for Mick. That being said, CW Mick is very different from the Mick in the classic comics, who was a bit dim-witted and rather gentle and sweet for a supervillain. CW Mick, by contrast, is, as I think @gorogues put it, “Hothead McAngryman”, which wouldn’t be so bad if it didn’t seem to have bled back into the comics themselves. Villains with fire powers being hotheads is a bit overdone, so I’m not thrilled to see comic Mick being put into that role. 

3. Golden Glider. Hands down, Lisa is my favorite of the CW Rogues. Despite the fact that her costume and power set are completely different than they were in the comics, they managed to get her personality down pretty well; making her just as dangerous and competent as the boys. Flirtatious, crafty, devious, and yet still at least somewhat sympathetic, the CW version of Lisa Snart takes home the gold for the best adaptation of a Rogue. If only they hadn’t completely forgotten that she existed. 

4. Pied Piper. Note that I have not seen his Season 6 appearance, so I’m just judging this based on his appearances in Seasons 1 and 2. Piper is disappointing; in his first appearance he wasn’t as fun as Silver/Bronze Age Piper or as sympathetic as modern Piper, and I’m not crazy about the idea of him being motivated primarily by revenge on Wells/Thawne, since that wasn’t his motivation in the comics at all. I also don’t remember him being able to puppet or hypnotize people with his music, which is too bad, since that’s his main schtick in the comics. What’s more, if you want to reform a character, don’t do it offscreen via reality warping and then forget about him for four seasons. It sounds like his Season 6 appearance was better, but I haven’t seen it so I can’t comment on it. Also, “the Pied Piper” is kind of a nonindicative name if he doesn’t play a pipe/flute. 

5. Trickster II (Axel Walker). Axel was actually decent in the CW show. I still like comic Axel better, but they got the gist of his character down and even made him a bit sympathetic. In fact, he’s probably in the top three best Rogue adaptations that the CW did. 

6. Trickster I (James Jesse). I love watching Mark Hamill play CW’s Trickster...but man, he is not playing Giovanni Giuseppi on the CW show. He’s playing the Joker with a different name. It’s especially weird since we know from JLU and that one short where Mark Hamill plays himself, the Joker, the Trickster, and Swamp Thing that Hamill can do a non-Joker Trickster and do it well, so my suspicion is that it was just because Trickster was also the Joker in the 1990s Flash show (where he was also played by Mark Hamill). Regardless, murdering random people and threatening to blow up small children during Christmas is not something the Trickster should be doing. 

Although this does prove Mark Hamill could do a live-action Joker. I’d pay money to see that. Mark Hamill is a great Joker. 

7. Weather Wizard. CW Weather Wizard isn’t egregiously bad. He’s not out-of-character like Trickster, and he’s not boring to watch, but at the same time it feels like there’s something missing. Maybe it’s because he doesn’t quote Twain. Maybe it’s because there’s not the sense that he was a loser before he got his powers. Maybe it’s because they changed his origin completely (and also made him older than Clyde for some reason). It could even be because he’s not wearing a green leotard with a huge collar, puffy sleeves, and ridiculous elf boots. Whatever it is, though, he’s just missing that spark that makes me like comic book Wizard so much. 

8. Mirror Master I (Sam Scudder). I don’t know how you make Sam Scudder more boring than New 52/Rebirth did, but somehow the CW version of the character pulled it off. Granted, Cold had already stolen some of Sam’s characterization, so that didn’t help, but they could’ve leaned into his skills as an inventor or his love of showmanship or something. Instead, we got a generic thug with what was basically Evan McCulloch’s power set. Boo! Boo I say! 

9. Top (Roscoe/Rosa Dillon). The Brave and the Bold Top is more interesting than the CW version, and he doesn’t even have spoken lines! That’s how boring this Top is. Also, the gender swap was pretty pointless. I wouldn’t have minded a female Top if she’d been intelligent and creepy and snobbish in the way that Roscoe is, but why even bother changing the gender if the character is going to have such a minor role? They also substantially depowered the CW Top, since Rosa can’t spin at super speed and isn’t telekinetic. A massive missed opportunity. 

10. Mirror Master II (Evan/Eva McCulloch). I can’t comment on how good of a character Eva is, since I haven’t watched any of the episodes with her in them, but I will say I am disappointed that the character does not seem to be Scottish, does not have Evan’s weird sense of humor, and lacks his tooth gap. 

11. Captain Boomerang (George “Digger” Harkness). Not only did he not actually appear on the Flash, but he was also boring and didn’t even seem to have an Australian accent. I was very disappointed with his role in the CW. 

And now for characters who aren’t Rogues: 

-CW Eobard is really good. I have no real complaints about him. 

-CW Grodd is also really good, though I do wish he was from Gorilla City as per the comics rather than a lab experiment. 

-CW Magenta got most of the important character beats down but felt a bit out of place with Barry as the Flash. 

-CW Shade was possibly even more boring than CW Sam, which is saying something. 

-CW Zoom didn’t really feel like Zoom at all. Not only was it weird to see him fighting Barry and not Wally, but he was just a generic serial killer and didn’t have Zolomon’s unique outlook on the world. The loss of his time manipulation powers was likewise disappointing.

-CW Jay is really good. I love him. 

-CW Jesse Quick has very little in common with her comic book counterpart; I like the comic version better but don’t actually mind the CW version all that much.

-CW Wally is decent enough, though I don’t see why they couldn’t have kept him as Iris’ nephew rather than making him her brother. Also, they didn’t use him nearly as much as they should have. 

-CW Barry I generally like a lot; Grant Gustin is a good fit for the character. That being said, I do wish they hadn’t given him the dead mom origin, which was a retcon I am not fond of. 

-CW Iris is quite good (in the first three seasons, at least); she’s intelligent, loyal to Barry, dedicated to her job, and quite independent. The fact that she and Barry were foster siblings in the CW universe is kind of weird, though, since it makes their romance kind of awkward. 

-Joe West is not Ira West (Iris’s father in the comics), but I actually don’t care. Joe West is made of awesome. (I like Ira too, but I like Joe enough that I don’t mind having him replace Ira.)

-The Fiddler on the CW had very little to do with the comic Fiddler. 

-I’ve never been particularly invested in the Thinker (comic or show), but I will say that the CW’s version of the character was very different from his comics counterpart. 

-CW Ragdoll was just as creepy and unsettling as comic book Ragdoll, though he had a very different backstory. 

-I never expected Baby Josh to make it into the CW, let alone as a gender-swapped teenager named Joss who wanted to kill Weather Wizard. It felt like they never knew where to go with her character, though, so it was a wasted opportunity. At least she didn’t die like poor Baby Josh, though. 

-Big Sir in the CW show is a MASSIVE improvement over the comic version. This is probably the only character I will say this about. Though I will say that I kind of wish he’d gotten his stupidly ugly comic book costume even though it would’ve made no sense. 

-Peek-a-Boo is a pretty solid adaptation of her comic book counterpart. 

-Rainbow Raider (Prism) is much better in the comics than on the CW show, where he only existed to be a boring plot device. 

-Linda Park dating Barry was weird, but they actually did a good job with her character before she vanished.

This is not intended as a criticism of anyone who likes the show or its characters; it’s just me musing about my personal problems with it. 

[anotheronechicagobog]

Brian Zvonecek x Reader Wake Up

Written by: @anotheronechicagobog​

Warnings: Swearing, childbirth (from both animals and people), mention of miscarriage, mention of infertility, mention of fear and insecurities about not being able to get pregnant, it’s really not as angsty as it sounds I’m just being careful, fake Instagram post at the end

“You’re the only one I wanna wake up to”

“Well, we’ve been married for seven years so I should hope so.”

“You know what I mean, Y/N.”

“I do.”

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

After Brian went to work you dropped your daughter Sasha off at school before heading to work yourself. You weren’t a first responder, you were a doctor technically, but not one for humans. You work at the aquarium as a veterinarian. It was an interesting job, you were always up doing something interesting. For example, as you were performing an ultrasound on a guitar shark, all that you could think about was how your mom had wanted you to be an accountant. “And there’s the heartbeat, there is at least one pup in there. I’d like to check again in a month or so, there hasn’t been a lot of research done on these guys so I don’t know how long gestation will be, or even how many pups she’ll have in total. Let’s get her back in the exhibit, I’ll set up another appointment. And her handlers? That’s you- and you? Okay great, we’ll need to up her allotted food. I think just straight up doubling would be best, if that seems like too much you can dial it back, and if it seems like too much page me, got it? Good.”

You still smelled like seawater and blubber when you got home to a tea party in your living room. The sight of four massive firefighters wearing tutus and costume jewellery all while crammed into tiny chairs at a tiny table always made your day. “Hey guys, mind if I steal a lemon square?”

“Mommy you’re home!” Sasha tackled you as well as a five-year-old could. “Is Halo pregnant? Is she?”

“Yes, she is. There is at least one baby on the way. There are probably more though because...?”

“Guitarfish in the wild have six babies on aberage!”

“That’s right! Look at you, getting so smart!”

“Yeah, soon you’ll be smarter than me.”

“She’s already smarter than you, Brian.”

“Hey!”

“That’s not nice uncle Sevy. No more cookies for you.” Kelly looked genuinely hurt at the punishment Sahsa had dolled out on him. “But they’re chocolate chip. Chocolate chip is my favourite.”

“Then you shouldn’t have been mean to daddy.”

“I’m gonna go shower, you guys continue with your tea party.” You left with a wink and a kiss on Sasha’s forehead. Brian got this soft look in his eyes as he regarded the two of you, and in the back of your mind you weren’t surprised. He’d never been shy about wanting two or three kids, you’d just been delaying it a bit because of how labour intensive your work was. And there was the added danger of what could happen to a fetus under lots of water pressure when you went diving into the large, and deep, exhibits. But you didn’t want to put off the discussion any longer, if you were being honest, you wanted more kids too, and there was already going to be quite the age gap between Sasha and any future sibling(s). You thought about how to bring up your points, your concerns as you stepped out of the shower into the steam-filled bathroom. Ultimately, Brian could not and would not force you to have another child. If you didn’t want another, he would leave it at that because he understood where most of the labour in the reproductive system lay.

Kelly, Matt, and Joe were still in your living room hanging onto Sasha’s every word. Every few seconds Sasha would slap on of Kelly’s hands away from where it was creeping towards the cookie plate. You spotted Brian in the kitchen, prepping a roast pan of potatoes, carrots, and sausages for dinner. You slinked up to his side and kissed his cheek. “Mhmm, you don’t smell like whale anymore.” 

“Gee, thanks. What a way to make your wife feel special.”

“I’ll just put this in the oven and then dinner should be ready in forty-five minutes. Why don’t you join the princesses and I’ll set the table.”

“How about I set the table, you finish cooking dinner, and then we leave the princesses alone for a minute and we have a talk in private?”

“Am I in trouble?”

“No.”

“Then sure.”

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You two had stepped into the guest room, Brian slightly confused. “Is everything okay? And why are we talking in the guest room instead of hours?”

“How would you feel about turning this room into a nursery- I’m not pregnant, but what if we started trying to have another kid?”

“I- are you sure? I mean, I know with work-”

“Brian, I want another kid. Truthfully, I’ve felt bad putting it off this long, creating such an age gap.”

“Hey, you were doing important research that revolutionized-”

“I know, Brian. I don’t regret it, I’ve just felt bad. I see how some of the Hermann Horde are closer than others and a lot of it is due to age. They’re at different stages in their life so they never get the chance to have the same interests or go through things together the same way.”

“You’re thinking about it the wrong way. Sasha will be able to advise them on so many things in ways we just can’t. And she’ll be the cool older sister because she’ll know different things and have different freedoms. They won’t fight as often because they probably won’t like the same toys or clothes, Sasha will teach them how to deal with us, I mean they might not be close at first, but they’ll have such a great relationship when they get older.”

“Sasha is going to be amazing big sister.”

“Without a doubt.”

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It had been ten months. You still weren’t pregnant. Honestly, it was stressing you out. What if you couldn’t get pregnant now? What if you waited too long and some problem popped up and now it was too late? You could tell it was wearing on Brian, too. “Mom? Are you okay? You and dad seem... Off lately.”

“Oh, yeah, we’re both okay, don’t worry honey.”

“Are you sure?”

“I’m sure.” Sasha didn’t look convinced as she walked into her school, but you let it be. You took a moment to ground yourself in your car before driving to work. You loved your job, absolutely loved it, but diving was your favourite part and you couldn’t do that while trying for a baby. Once you said you were taking a break from it all your co-workers immediately assumed you were pregnant again. You’d gone from joyful suggestive looks and hugs to pitiful glances and concerned pats on the shoulder. It was grating on your nerves and insecurities. 

Today Melody, a harbour seal, was predicted to give birth. Everyone was on edge. Sometimes these things happened on schedule, sometimes they didn’t. But regardless you remained solely on-call for the perky seal. And while desperately hated to admit it, you were jealous. Of a seal. Who gets jealous of a seal? What kind of person did that make you?

You were brought out of your reverie when Melody plopped her head in your lap. Her eyes soulful. Worried. Was the labour starting? You did another check, and she was. You yelled for your assistants.

Poor Melody, she was in pain, and you could tell she was nervous. This would be her first pup, and even mothers got nervous about their first borns, you supposed. You made sure to stroke her head when you could. “Don’t worry Melody, everything will be okay.” The birth had gone smoothly, Melody and her currently unnamed pup were doing well when pain ripped through you. It was as it someone took and electron pole and buried it in your abdomen. You screamed and fell to the ground. The pain you incurred from hitting your hip and your head on the ground were nothing in comparison to what was going on further down. Oh no, what if I am pregnant and I’m having a miscarriage? The pain stopped but only for brief moments and the only time you could remember feeling anything close to as bad as this was minutes before giving birth to Sasha.

Everything was a blur of distressed seal noises, salt water, splashing, screaming, and sirens. You came back when Dr. Manning gave you you’re diagnosis. “That’s- AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH- not- AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH”

“It’s called a ‘cryptic pregnancy’. I know it doesn’t feel real because you didn’t go through a normal pregnancy, but you are in labour. Don’t worry, Maggie’s called 51, Brian is on his way.”

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“Y/N! I’m here- what’s going on?!”

“So- AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH- as it turns out I’m pregnant.”

“Actually she’s in labour.” Doris bluntly spat at Brian, she raised her eyebrows and pulled her lips into a line, all of which conveyed just how much she was judging you poorly at the moment, the next bucket full of gossip for MED churning in her head.

“AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH YOU KNOW WHAT DORIS, MOST WOMEN HAVE NINE MONTHS TO PREPARE FOR GIVING BIRTH AND I’VE HAD LESS THAN AN HOUR SO SHUT THE FUCK UP, GET OUT, AND STAY OUT! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” You honestly felt like you were dying, and the absolute last thing you needed was a catty, gossipy nurse making an already life altering and stressful moment more so. She quickly bolted out of the room, April taking her place. She was quiet, subdued, clearly thinking of her failed attempts at getting pregnant. And while you felt awful for her, you were immensely grateful for a nurse that wasn’t Doris. “I’m right here, honey.”

“You smell like smoke.”

“You smell like fish.” Him in his turnout pants and you in a put up wetsuit, you really did make a pair.

“Touche- AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!”

“Squeeze my hand.”

“I’ll probably break it.”

“I’m yours to break.”

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