#then a week later cancels the second date attempt

[still-thetroubledaddict]

I am hating the dating app life so much right now!!!!!!!

[neopuppy]

Arcade (M)

pairing. Jeno x female reader

genre. hmm what’s all this then? anyway…… smut, M/F, pwp

warnings. vaginal/backdoor unprotected rough sex, rimming, non-consented camera use, you don’t have to read Switch+Chain to understand but it might help. minors DNI.

wc. 6k+

now playing. Arcade//NCT Dream

It’s hard.

It’s been hard actually, attempting to commit to some type of relationship while living in the same household as your.. whatever he was.

First love, the man who took your virginity, your boyfriend's father.

It doesn’t help that things have been really tense between you and Jeno ever since your mom refused to move out, claiming Johnny needs to compensate her for uprooting her life with false hope of a future together.

He acquires the guest room most nights, or…doesn’t come home, and you notice— you notice it every time. When he shows up the next day, neck garnished with bitten bruises poorly hidden under his collar, lips swollen red from whatever he got up to. The avoidance he graces you with— never once meeting your gaze as he passes by on the way to his office. It’s been about a month of this; and on top of it all your mother refuses to let you enjoy any alone time with Jeno.

‘I don’t approve of this.’ She repeats daily, shoving between the two of you sitting together in the living room. ‘You are not allowed to date this horrid insolent boy.’

Jeno can’t stand it either, not helping his case with his rude and disrespectful responses, arguing back and forth with her about how this is technically his house and she can leave.

“I can’t deal with your mom anymore.” He whispers. It’s 1am, also the time your mother typically passes out after raiding Johnny’s wine cabinet. Keeping you up later every night as you have to wait to sneak to each other’s bedrooms. “It’s been two weeks.”

Two weeks since you fucked.. in the upstairs bathroom at Mark’s house, some Saturday night kick back. Even then the two of you hadn’t mentioned your.. situationship to anyone. Jeno’s friends finding it peculiar how often he’s canceled on them to hang out with his… whatever you are.

“We can try a quiet activity..” you tease, tickling under his shirt.

“I can’t even fuck you in my room anymore without her breathing down my neck.” Jeno scowls, pushing his nose against your forehead. “Besides, we both know how loud you get, baby.”

“I’ll keep my mouth shut.”

“I have an idea,” Jeno had already brought up getting a hotel before, foregoing the thought as his bank account stared back at him looking bleak; failing to mention that his father had cut off the weekly allowance he’d become accustomed to after their blow up(you know, the one about you). “Haechan just became a keyholder at that arcade place he works at.”

“You want to play video games, right now?”

“No no, I’m gonna ask him for a favor.” Jeno smiles, pulling you close to his chest. “For us.”

“Where are you going?”

Your foot tracks come to a halt just as you reach the front door, more dressed up than usual. Nothing much, a short velvet dress with lace trimming, something Jeno picked out from your closet without knowing who gifted it to you in the first place.

Placing your hand on your chest in mock-shock, you gasp turning to face Johnny. “Oh my God, I haven’t heard your voice in so long— I’d forgotten you even live here.”

“I remember this dress.” Johnny’s gaze traces down, stopping at your chest for a second too long as his mouth tweaks to one side. “You were supposed to wear it—“

“Yeah.” You interrupt, reaching for the hem floating just under the jut of your buttcheek to play with. “For our next weekend together, you said I looked pretty when I tried it on.”

“You do,” Johnny’s eyebrows come together, trailing down lower to your strappy heels and manicured toes. “You look beautiful, sexy. Gorgeous as always.”

“..do you miss me?” The question comes out unexpectedly, biting down on the sides of your tongue after asking, nervously pinching your thighs together as he nods; hand running through his loose hair and tugging at the ends.

“Of course I do.” Johnny nearly smiles, the corners of his lips pointing up, none of it reaching his dark eyes continuing to stay low and avoid your face. “But you’re going to meet my son right now, aren’t you?”

“No!” You snap to answer too fast, clearing your throat and swiping your hair back. “I’m meeting my friends.”

“You don’t have friends.” Johnny scoffs a laugh jokingly, shrugging half-apologetically. “Your mom asked me to make sure you stay away from Jeno, you know.”

“He’s my boy—friend..” you say hesitantly. “I think..”

“Yes, you do seem to be a pair.” Johnny hums, leaning against the hallway wall. “It’s almost as if your mother won’t leave my son's side and Jeno won’t leave yours. I don’t believe I’ve seen you once without him around ever since..”

“Ever since we broke up?”

“We didn’t break up.” Johnny’s fast to correct. “We were never together, not you and I anyway.” He waves off, more sluggish in appearance now as you step closer and take in his tired expression. “I should have left you alone.”

“What do you me—“

“You should get going, Jeno’s been waiting outside for a while now.” Johnny cuts you off, motioning to the front door. “Probably getting annoyed knowing him.”

“Did you ever love me?” You know you shouldn’t, but Johnny’s right; if Jeno’s not plastered to your back then your mom’s hovering around with her nose deep in your business. Over the last few weeks cuddled up next to Jeno wide awake as he softly snores you can’t stop your mind from spinning, asking questions you never received answers to.

“You still have to ask?” His shoulders fall, slumping further against the wall, hooded eyes falling to his feet. “Of course I did.. I still do. I always will.”

“Then why did yo—“

“What’s taking so long!” Jeno busts through the front door, pausing with his knuckles turning white where he grips the handle hard enough to break off. “What the fuck is going on here?”

“Nothing.” Johnny says casually, shoving off the wall to stand up straight. “As we agreed to, nothing at all.” He nods in Jeno’s direction, returning to his usual stature of living without acknowledging your existence, not even a ‘goodbye’ wave before exiting the room.

Jeno grabs the crook of your elbow tugging you back into his chest hard enough to have you stumbling, gasping out of shock. “Was he talking to you?!”

“Huh? Ow! You’re hurting me!” Tugging your arm away at the same time Jeno releases as if you’ve burned off the skin off his palm sends you tumbling forward, saved by his arm swiftly coming to wrap around your waist; eyes bouncing around full of concern and confusion.

“Sorry! I mean..” Jeno’s teeth grind together, softly squeezing you in his hold. “I’m sorry, didn’t mean to..”

“Okay.. is everything alright?”

He frowns, ducking in to press his chin against your shoulder, eyelashes dragging down to the side as his eyes fall and lose their usual sparkle. “Yeah, I’m sorry…”

“It’s okay Jeno.. let’s get going, yeah?”

“Yeah yeah.” He nods, pecking your skin before moving back to get the door for you. “I didn’t think he was home, swore I heard him leave earlier. Thought he’d be gone for the night fucking some whore.”

Jeno leads you to his car, missing the way you flinch at the mention of Johnny’s reoccurring activities, still sensitive as you try to process the answer you’ve been looking for.

I always will. That’s what Johnny said.. but there was something else.

Jeno’s driving, drumming on the steering wheel to calm his anxiety, the image of your back facing him with his fathers lazy eyes on you as you stood much too close together won’t leave his mind. He’s sick of it really, fighting his own father for the same girl; brainstorming new ways to threaten him. Even breaking into the old man’s home office to look through his patients files for some dirt, completely illegal but what about this predicament isn’t at this point.

“Back there..” you break his thoughts, clearing your throat.

“Huh?” Jeno glances, shifting his tense shoulders to relax and lean back in his seat. “Back there?”

“Your dad.. he said something, about ‘as we agreed to’ I think..” you say cautiously, picking at your cuticle. “Did you guys ever talk? About.. us?”

Jeno steps down on the brake abruptly, hurling your chest forward restrained by the seat belt that tightens up around you. “What?”

At least the lights red, you think, rubbing at your sore chest. “...Ow..”

Jeno sighs, more annoyed now, tapping the steering wheel with more aggression. “What the hell are you talking about?”

“Things have been weird, awkward I guess.. ever since..”

“Since he dumped you?” He sneers, pushing down on the gas pedal too hard and revving off down the street, luckily empty at this late hour.

“We weren’t together, not like.. not like how you and I are. I mean—“

“He took advantage of you..” Jeno shakes his head, zipping through intersections without bothering to slow down or stop. “He took advantage of you, and you let him.”

“That’s not—“

“It’s okay.” Hitting the brakes he stops, pulling into a parking spot with ease, using one hand to steer the wheel into place. “It’s okay.” Jeno repeats again, as if to reassure himself more than anything. “My dad, that fucking asshole..”

Pulling the shift into park, he leans back again, the back of his head slamming against the seat frustrated. “It’s not your fault. When I was a kid he used to psychoanalyze me too, used that shit to manipulate me.”

Johnny didn’t manipulate me, your lip twitches to say, folding your hands together as you purse your lips tight.

“He blamed me, you know— for my mom leaving..” Jeno’s tongue drags inside of his cheek, wandering eyes gleaming more beneath the night sky breaking through the windshield. “I never stood a chance against him honestly, even now I can’t trust he’ll leave you alone.”

“He does leave me alone, Jeno.”

“Yeah.” He pauses, turning halfway in his seat to face you, head tilted as he takes in your confusion. “I told him to leave you alone, is that a problem?”

“..and he agreed? Is that what he meant?” You ask wearily, picking up over time that Jeno can’t keep eye contact when he lies, becoming shifty and distracted as he mumbles.

He blinks slowly, tongue poking between his lips in thought without tearing away from your gaze. “I told him that I really like you, and for once in my life I want to have a chance at something genuine.”

Jeno’s playful demeanor you’ve become acquainted with(although still perplexing at times) seems to disappear the more he speaks, concerning you enough to take a hold of his hand. “Hey..”

He mumbles something hard to make out, sinking against his seat. “I hate seeing him around you, I know you don’t see it the way I do but.. he used you.”

Ouch.

How could Jeno so easily ruin your delusional high of believing his father had actual feelings for you with just a few words. It’s not worth discussing, not with him, he’d never see it the way you do.

Understandably so, to him Johnny may as well be the scum of the earth while he consumed your entire world, day to night; continuing to daydream of the future you could have with your boyfriend's dad. The idea alone fucked up enough to make you nauseous now, having to swallow the bitter taste of bile down. As sick as it is, Johnny had made a home for himself in your heart.. at least the parts Jeno hadn’t managed to infiltrate.

Half of you really contemplated choosing stupidity, ruin your chances of getting dicked down tonight. Perhaps spice it up, Jeno had become.. soft as of late, but the distress across his pretty face quelled your hunger for drama, for now.

“So, what you’re saying is..” you bend in closer, jerking his chin up to look at you, hand squeezing around his. “You really like me?”

Jeno’s smile returns, huffing out a laugh, hiding half of his face in the seat. “Fighting my dad for you wasn’t enough? I have to say it too?”

Shrugging, you lean in closer, biting at his earlobe. “Wouldn’t hurt to hear once in a while after years of thinking you hated me.”

“Well..” the sound of keys jingling turns your attention to Jeno’s hand coming up between you, eyebrow lifted suggestively. “I think you like it, actually— I know you love it when I fuck you like I hate you.”

“You’re gonna fuck me in the arcade?” You glance outside, ‘High Scores’ lights up the hood of his car, the rest of the street dim and empty compared to the bright neon light flickering above you. “Does Haechan know you’re risking his job to have sex uninterrupted?”

Jeno laughs, opening his door to get out and grab yours, the nice gestures still taking awhile to get used to.(This is the same guy that made you get out of his car and walk to school just to not be seen with you afterall.)

“Most he said is to not leave a mess behind and make sure I lock up when we’re done here.” Helping you out he pushes your back to the passenger door, gaze back to the excited playful one you prefer. “I can always fuck you here instead.”

Even now the thrill of secrecy reminds you of him... the times he’d pull you into the backseat of his SUV to steal a kiss; softly pecking your lips while mumbling that he needed a little taste of you everyday, thumbing at his bottom lip while he sat across from you during dinner and stole glances at you. The craving for more always lingering.

“Right here? Where anyone can see?” You ask, pretending to be shocked with wide eyes and clutching your chest. “You think I’m some whore you can just fuck on the street?”

Jeno bites down on his tongue, smirking and grabbing your hips. “I knew this dress would look good on you.” He hikes up the sides around your hips, lifting you up onto the hood to sit and make space between your thighs. “I like it when you listen to me.”

It’s little things like this that heat up your chest, stinging from within between guilt and a yearning need. The twisted part of your mind consumed by the thought that Jeno’s so similar to his dad, just younger, a little naive, but he’s definitely not as dumb as you had assumed.

“Do you think I look pretty?” You ask coyly, pulling his hips in closer with a tight squeeze of your thighs. Jeno wraps around your waist, face only an inch away from yours now, his tone lowering to a deep rasp.

“You’re always pretty. You know when I brought you around my friends I had to stop myself from putting Jaemin in a headlock with the shit he was saying.” His hands roam lower as he goes on, smoothing up the sides of your thighs to play with the straps of your underwear. “Had to remind myself that they don’t know about us.. yet.”

“Yet?”

Jeno hums, gathering your underwear to one side to swipe his thumb between your folds; his cheeks rising upon making contact with your wet entrance. “Once your mom gets off my ass it’ll be easier for us. I guess I’m still worried.”

He mumbles with lowered eyelids, grabbing onto your inner thigh to spread you open further. Not quite lying, not quite telling you the truth. “You still don’t trust me, right?

The skin between his eyebrows wrinkles slightly, long eyelashes fanning across the tops of his cheeks. “Seeing you with him today, I feel..”

“You can be honest with me baby.”

Jeno nods, the wrinkles on his forehead deepening, smearing two fingers over the outside of your entrance haphazardly. “I’m annoyed, I’m mad. I hate that he still gets to see you— to see you look pretty for me.”

“We didn’t talk.” You lie, cupping his face to smooth away the stress tightening his jaw. “He was just passing by.”

“You’re not lying, are you?” Jeno asks slowly, also familiar with the way you bite your lip when you lie. Even the smallest movement of biting one corner is enough to give you away.

“I’m not lying.” You say, tugging your lip in under your teeth with a smile, quickly moving to kiss his nose before he can continue interrogating you. Jeno’s eyes drop shut swallowing back his disappointed sigh, hand sliding away to grip your thighs and pull your core closer to his crotch.

“I know we don’t talk about this,” his face dips into the crook of your neck to hide, breath fanning down your throat mixing in with the chilled night air. “..and I know I can’t ask you to ignore him, we all live together..”

“Jeno” you say, pulling back to grab a hold of his face again. “We live together, you realize that? It’s always you, me.. and my mom unfortunately.”

He smiles at that, playfully biting at your thumb poking against the corner of his mouth. “I’m not used to my dad actually doing something nice for me.” Other than funding him with money, which hasn’t been the case as of late. Jeno considers that maybe you were the exchange, no more allowance but hey- I’ll let you have the girl.

Fixing his wind swept bangs to uncover his forehead, you wonder what exactly was said in this agreement; had Johnny really given up on you so easily? How could he say he still loves you and watch another man, let alone his own son, prance around in his face holding and kissing you? It didn’t make any sense..

Jeno shivers, smoothing your dress back down and nodding toward the Arcade. “It’s getting cold, wanna head inside and play?”

He helps you off the hood, taking a hold of your hand and using his other to unlock the front door. “Oh? You know, I can kick your ass at Pac-man.”

Jeno pulls you in, locking the door back up, the inside mostly dark aside from a few strips of neon lights bordering the ceiling. “Is that all you know how to play?” He laughs, drawing you further in with both hands taking a hold of yours. “We both know I can eat you up easily.”

Coming to a stop he flicks on a switch, the room coming to life with lights and mixtures of video game music from different machines. Most of them classic vintage games, a few pinball machines and air hockey table. Nothing much, but a gamers safe haven nonetheless.

“There’s Street Fighter, Ninja Turtles, Super Mario Brothers, Frogger..” Jeno walks around keeping you by his side, chuckling at your lost expression as you look at him like he’s speaking a foreign language. “Pac-man it is, winner takes it all yeah?”

“What are we playing for?” You grumble, feigning annoyance because this is not what you had in mind when Jeno texted you about sneaking out together.

“If I win, I get to do whatever I want with you.” He beams, eyebrows raising up and down before inserting coins into the game.

“What if I win?”

“If you win..” pouting his lips, Jeno sways in thought, snapping his fingers. “I get to do whatever I want with you.” He says proudly, displaying all of his pearly white perfect teeth.

“Don’t you already?” You say in an annoyed tone, nudging against his side and grabbing onto a joystick.

“There is one thing, actually.” Jeno lowers his gaze scanning down your figure, eyes ending on your backside. “I believe you know what I want.”

“Right now?” You have to splutter a bit, nervously squeezing your thighs together. “Won’t it hurt though?”

He laughs, barely, more of an act to stop himself from replying with ‘That’s the point.’

“No baby, it’ll feel good.” Jeno sticks out his pinky, jutting his pink bottom lip out covered with a sheen of spit. “I prom.”

“Prom?” You question, distracted by how enticing his mouth looks pouting at you paired with a wide glossy gaze.

“Half a promise,” he winks, locking your pinkies together. “It might hurt actually.”

“Jeno!”

“Winner takes it all!” He laughs, returning to focus on starting your game of Pac-man.

“Jeno, what the fuck! This isn’t fair!” You panic, immediately falling behind as his hand seems to blur and you crash into another ghost.

“What can I say? I’m a pro.” He says nonchalantly, the smirk painting his lips growing. “You know what else I’m a pro at eating?”

“Jeno!” You splutter, distracted by the wink he shoots at you as another sound of disappointment blasts from the game's speakers, on your last leg of life attempting to catch up to your opponent nearing the end.

“Winners win.” Jeno’s arms lift up proudly, boasting his victory with flexed biceps. “Losers lose.”

He keeps cheering, arms pumping and pretending to wave at a crowd as the game congratulates his victory. “You didn’t tell me you were good at this game!”

“Well, you said you could kick my ass.” He shrugs, grabbing your wrists and dragging you toward him. “It seems I will be the one beating your ass up instead.”

Jeno taps the pout that’s formed on your lips, disguising how irritated he feels in actuality. Tapping your bottom lip, he hums and leans back against a wall. “You wouldn’t lie to me, right?”

“Why do you keep asking?” You lilt, tilting your head suspiciously as you reach for his neck. Jeno snaps away too fast, quickly averting his gaze aside before you can catch his disappointment; his palms finding purchase around your waist and manhandling you against the wall.

“No reason,” he whispers, trapping your earlobe between his teeth and knocking his hips along your backside. “Don’t forget who won.”

The sound of his belt unlatching scratches at the back of your skull drowning out the arcade noises around you; with a bicep locking your arms together he wraps it around your elbows. The restraint tightens immediately, locking your arms in place behind your back. “Does it hurt, baby?”

‘Does it hurt badly?’

Pressing your cheek to the wall you shake, quietly muttering ‘no’, the churn in your stomach confusing you with arousal and guilt.

“That’s too bad..” pulling up your dress to bunch at your waist, Jeno slaps your ass softly, stroking his fingers over the roundness of your hips, dipping beneath the juncture between meaty flesh meeting thigh. “I know how much you love when it hurts.”

“Je—“

“Shhh.” Biting down on your earlobe, he tugs until you squeal, knees knocking together from the pain shooting through your ear. “See how you’re so fucking loud?”

Jeno sinks down into a squat gripping the sides of your ass and squeezing. His palms feel hot, heavy, digging his thin hard fingers into your cheeks. He pulls you open watching the thin string of your underwear fail to cover your holes completely, breath suctioning loudly between spit when he hisses and presses forward digging his nose against your barely concealed hole.

“Fuck!” You bite down, struggling to stay still on your toes digging deeper into the sole of your heels, his nose dragging up and down between releasing groans and deep breaths. The moans vibrating between the back of your thighs playing as a soundtrack for his disgusting euphoric high, leaving his mouth popped open, teeth catching onto bits of flesh hidden inside of you.

“So good.” Jeno laps at your rim, soaking up the thin piece of underwear there, teeth biting down and pulling away enough to watch your hole flutter. Slapping at your ass with a firmer hand he tugs the string off to one side, leaning forward to press his pouty lips against your hole. Mouth hot and breathy as he stays there tracing his words against your opening. “Want me to fill your little tight virgin asshole up so fucking bad, just look at the way you’re opening up for me already.”

As if on command slick drips down your inner thigh, rim convulsing around nothing. He snickers, tapping the tip of his finger against it. “So nasty, who taught you to be this fucking nasty huh?”

Oh.

Your eyes wrinkle together, hips jumping back in search of something wet, something to quell your need.

A succession of hard slaps stills your movement, ass stinging under his palm smoothing down, jiggling your cheek against his face. “Can’t even stop yourself, can you?”

“Please…do something.. please.”

Begging, you’re always such a beggar. Jeno can’t stand it, how your writhe and whimper, so desperate to get fucked. Can’t stand how pretty you sound when you beg, when you shout his name with your eyes facing the back of your skull. He can’t stand the way his cock jumps in his pants, twitching against his phone like a reminder.

“Ask for it.” His face rubs side to side, engulfed in your aroma, nose burying in and out of your hole teasingly. “Be a good girl, ask.”

“Jeno.. please,” sniffling, you have to shut your eyes to keep your mind blank. The similarities between two different men sit on your chest, sinking into the hollow, breaking down the bones and muscle protecting your heart. “Please baby.”

“Please what?” Pulling out his phone, Jeno double checks the silent button, hitting record and focusing on your ass sticking out; lower back making the shot from the way you dip in and arch out.

“Please, please fuck me…”

“Where?” He questions, tone falling deep, raspy, scratching up his vocal chords. “Tell me where.”

“My..” breath gets caught in your throat, hole clenching up as embarrassment flows down your face. Breaking out into a whimper at the first sign of moisture reaching the rims of your eyes. “My ass.. please fuck my ass.”

“That’s right,” Jeno groans, smoothing the pad of his finger around your wrinkled hole. “No one will ever fuck you the way I fuck you.”

Spit lands on your rim, the last shot he captures before sending the video off to a text message with ‘Asshole’.

‘Only for me.’

Pocketing his phone again, he focuses on collecting your wetness, swirling it together with his spit. The sounds of your needy whines only egg him on to work fast, lapping at the skin around his fingers until your knees bend and you shove back against his face.

Jeno contemplates for a second, mindlessly prodding the tips of two fingers in and out of your pulsating rim, your wanton cries driving him mad the longer he teases.

It shouldn’t hurt, but you deserve for it to hurt, because you’re a fucking liar, because you’d rather lie to him and allow his mind to wander.

Before he can shake away the worry, his phone buzzes, distracting him for a moment before pressing into your hole to keep you occupied.

‘Ask your little girlfriend about our conversation you rudely interrupted. I wouldn’t be so sure if I was you.’

Jeno can’t believe how fast this fucking asshole replies, nearly crushing his phone and jabbing his fingers into you roughly at the same time.

“Ahh!”

“Shut up.” He growls, shoving his phone away, proceeding to jackhammer two fingers inside your ass. A wad of spit lands around them adding a small amount of lubricant, his roughness forcing your ass to shake around the pressure.

“Baby please, ah!” Struggling to stay still, your toes pinch together, pushing your forehead against the wall with another cry. Tears stain down your cheeks the more he ignores you, muscles rippling up his forearm beneath pulsing large veins. “Please, slow..slow down!”

Another growl is all you hear in response, dipping in to lavv at the tough skin constricting around his fingers, his free hand reaching between your thighs to pinch at your clit and distract your mind from the pain.

Jeno’s ears fill up from the heat surrounding him, forcing another digit inside your hole and groaning at the visual of how obscenely stretched you are around him. Still managing to push in past your resistance, his stare burns, stuck on the little flex and pinch your ass gives with each push inside.

“Fuck, you feel so good.”

A startled broken moan slips out of you, caught off guard by how deep, near demonic his vibrato’s fallen to. The surprise has your hips canting back full of fear, excitement, Jeno’s fingers digging deep into your ass pushing against your walls.

“Relax, you’ll make this hurt more than it has to.”

The glide of his nose pressing to your neglected hole has you jolting up, legs pin straight the second his tongue flicks at your clit. His hand reaches around grasping your thigh, strong hold pushing you to sit down on his face. He tongues at your bundle of nerves viciously, nose suffocated by the ridiculous amount of slick pouring out of you, the majority of it dripping down past the consistent small dip in and out of you, trickling a pathway down his thick neck, bobbing and struggling to breathe with his airway full of arousal.

“Ah fuck! I’m close!” Full of urgency you scream, hands twitching like crazy to grab onto something, anything to help you stay attached to reality. He only speeds up, the fat of his tongue dragging along your swollen clit roughly, powerfully working you into a faster frenzy until your thighs quake.

Jeno’s relentless, tongue blurring against your clit with speed, nose stuffed as deep as possible, the three digits curling up and pulling. Pain and pleasure hit a new high, bending your neck back into a deep arch as your climax hits and erupts hard enough to choke him between the wet squirt and weight of your lower half coming down.

Slapping down on your upper thigh, Jeno gags, coughing from the fluid filling his nostrils, fingers crooking up before sliding out and smearing the mess of spit down your leg.

“Come here.” He drags your lifeless body down to his lap, switching to hold his weight against the wall, lips landing against yours in a mess of heat. The drool pouring from your mouth blends with his spit coated lips vocalizing the hunger of your mouths fighting for dominance. “Wanna..”

Jeno pants, licking at every crevice of skin and tongue like a thirsty puppy, eyes glazed over as he gazes at your already wrecked face. “..see you, wanna see you.”

“Uh huh,” nodding you wrap around his neck, forehead landing against his cheek lazily as he positions you over his length. The whole act feels dirty, a memory you’ll recall someday; how silly it is to be a teenager having to sneak around just to get laid(all because you fucked your boyfriend’s dad). “See you.” You repeat breathless, cock dragging between your folds drenched by wet arousal that won’t stop leaking.

“Pussy dripping wet for me, know why?” Jeno’s arm squeezes around your middle, hot mouth dragging up your jaw to whisper in your ear. “Cause you’re a fucking slut, and all sluts know how to do is take cock.”

The cry you let out shaking your head with denial gets lost, Jeno capturing your bottom lip in a rough kiss and thrusting up to fill you halfway. He grunts, pushing your body lower to bury the rest of his length inside and swallow down your cries. “Slutty fuck hole.”

Eyelashes flutter along your cheek, hot tightness wrapped around his size drawing deep guttural moans out. Hips jerk upward, lodging the entirety of his length inside of you. He’s overbearing, sucking the moans out of your mouth, slapping down on your ass to move and ride his length despite your cries.

“Feel good?” Jeno’s bicep flexes, snaked around your waist tighter than a boa constrictor, making it harder to breathe with the incessant ramming of his hips fucking you up and down his size.

“S-so so so good,” you sigh between tears, scratching your nails through the back of his scalp and sweaty nape. “So good inside.”

He wants to be mean, wants to pull you off him, throw you down on the ground and fuck you like nothing but a useless whore; but he can’t. Mentally cursing himself out, he shifts to lay you down, throwing your thigh around his hip for leverage to grind into you, eyes burning over your dazed expression.

Pretty.

Kissing the backs of his teeth he fucks into you faster, chasing his own need to get off without much concern for yours. This isn’t about you, this isn’t about your glazed gaze, parted swollen lips, the tear tracks rolling down past your jaw following the dips of collarbone rising and falling at a rapid pace, breasts bouncing near out of your dress with each beating thrust.

Jeno feels crazed, hot, throat burning from the inside out from the endless groans tearing through his chest. Bending forward, his weight throttles into you, jostling you to slide up. Palms attaching you to the ground with a vicious chokehold. Teeth grit and grind, wrinkling the skin on his cheeks and forehead, cock fucking in and out, in and out, the loud squelch of wet somehow louder than your pleasured sounds combined.

“M’gonna..” Jeno gulps, swallowing the wads of spit and drool collecting at the sides of his tongue. “Fuck you, fuck you all night. Fuck your ass open, break you.”

Unsure he can even last with how tight you grip around him, Jeno pulls out, shushing the loud whine you let out, pouting and crying harder about how close you were. “Shh..” slapping down between your thighs, he licks at his lips hungrily, entertained by the way you twitch and cry, still lifting your hips for another slap on your pussy. “Turn around.”

Knowing you can’t do much with your arms constrained, he manhandles you onto your front, noting how your flesh folds over the leather belt, sure enough to leave marks behind the more you struggle. He pulls at the leather, shoving your dress to the top of your back completely bunched up, wrinkling the nice material that someone else would have stripped off of you gently..

“Mine.” Jeno swipes his fingers around your exposed rim, lightly laughing at how you jerk forward and arch out more. Cock slapping down between your ass with a hiss. “So pretty like this..”

He’s done bothering to prep you, on the brink of insanity listening to your shattered whimpers, the exhausted, depraved little way you repeat his name. “So mine.” Resting his length on your rim, he reaches lower, scooping a wad of wetness globbed at your entrance, the only extra he’ll spare you, smearing the mess of it up and down his size.

He presses to your rim, biting down on his lip hard enough to break skin and compress the growl trying to escape. “God, fuck.”

Jeno thinks he can’t breathe for a moment, sinking in through the insane tightness, his stomach sucked empty, raggedly inhaling the more inch by inch disappears inside of you.

He thrust shallowly, experimenting with short and fast grinds until every bit of his size can no longer be seen, eyebrows crushed together as he struggles to breathe and crashes a harsh slap down on your ass. The growl escapes similar to a feral animal on the run, animalistic much like each barreling thrust colliding with your ass.

Jeno loses it from there, a string of curses running off his tongue between groans, hammering his hips forward, his free hand reaching for one of your shoulders to press your chest down. The extra hold only enforcing more power behind each slam, burying his cock deeper than you can even begin to fathom. “Gonna fuck your ass all the time now.”

“Hurts! Hurts so much!” You moan, stuttering between each syllable, arching deeper for him to fuck faster.

“You love it.” He bends forward, chest pressed down on your back knocking out your air flow. His other hand trailing from your hip to slap against your cunt, fingers pressing down on your clit and rubbing in fluid motions of figure eights.

“Ah fuck! Baby!”

Jeno knows you’re close, tightening up around his cock making it harder for him to shove in past your resistance. Pussy quivering the more he plays with your clit. “Yeah, just like that.” He pants, thirsty like a dog, tongue wagging out drooling. “Fucking tight, so fucking tight.”

He starts fucking at an unreal speed, rapidly ripping past each clench. The growls behind you akin to a beast, sucking bits of your soul with each thrust bottoming out inside of your ass.

“Jeno!” It’s barely a whimper, too empty headed to process anything beyond the heat coiling down your stomach, toes curling against your heels, the cool wet smeared down your thighs.

A pinch at your clit has you leaking, squirting around nothing and clamping down on the cock filling your ass, Jeno’s hand drenched by your climax pouring to the floor around his fingers.

He can’t believe it, you really came from this, asshole stuffed to the brim with cock for the first time. The thought alone tightens up his balls, jackhammering against your limp frame, falling into sloppy mismatched thrusts until the heat in his chest snaps. Cock crammed down to the hilt jerking and pulsing inside your warm heat. Sticky and obscene, the thick milky cream collecting at the base of his length with each last pitiful thrust.

Jeno finishes up, throat visibly bobbing as he takes in your backside covered in the excess cum, dragging his wet cock on your heated flesh. The white liquid gliding down your soft skin, ass gaped and ruined, his arm reaches around patting for his pants in search of one thing.

Jeno types with one thumb, quickly filming a clip of his hand sweeping up the back of your thigh, rubbing his release into your skin, the last shot ending on your holes.

The text finishes sending, a pleased grin lazily fitting his face before leaning down to kiss the middle of your back.

He mumbles mindlessly against your damp skin, imagining his recipient's face opening the message, pleased by the thought of his father’s enraged face.

‘Only mine.’

[meangirls-imagines]

Hello! Can I request a Gretchen Wieners x Fem Reader where the reader has been friends with her since forever and is head over heels for her, but Gretchen is too busy obsessing over Jason. The reader is always comforting Gretchen over Jason. One day, they almost kissed, which made Gretchen rethink all her interactions with the reader and realize she's actually in love with the reader. Please make this as angsty as possible with the reader pining over Gretchen with a happy ending. Thanks!

Please Be Mine

Description: Gretchen and Reader have been best friends since 2nd grade. As years pass, Reader's feelings for Gretchen increase tenfold. Gretchen becomes obsessed with Jason. However, things change at Regina's party and Gretchen fears she's too late.

WARNINGS: angsty, happy ending, may or may not have copied glenn powell's speech to sydney sweeney in anyone but you.

It was always Gretchen and Y/N.

There was barely ever a time when it wasn't.

The two met in second grade. Y/N was sitting by herself at the playground when Gretchen noticed and invited her to play with her, Karen, and Regina.

Gretchen and Y/N were attached to the hip instantly. Since then, that's how they stayed. Through middle school crushed and puberty problems, the two were inseparable.

When they got to high school, Jason came into the picture. It's not like Y/N didn't like the guy, she hated him. Every time she wanted to hang out with Gretchen, he had to be there.

They always had designated days where they hung out so Gretchen didn't miss any days with the plastics. Since the two started dating, he always tagged along and they always did something HE wanted to.

Y/N was getting sick of it. She couldn't take it anymore. She did the only thing she could think of. She started cancelling on Gretchen.

"Sorry. Too much homework."

"Sorry. I don't feel good."

"Sorry. Something came up."

Gretchen started to notice Y/N pulling herself away from her. She couldn't figure out why. She had voiced her concerns to Regina and Karen but they had no idea what to tell Gretchen.

They had an inkling that Y/N had feelings for Gretchen but never told Gretchen, out of respect for Y/N. This just cemented their suspicions and they decided to try to talk to Y/N for Gretchen.

Well, they tried. They really tried.

Regina and Y/N shared their history class together and instead of sitting in her normal spot, Regina scared a kid out of his chair to sit next to Y/N.

The blonde tried to get Y/N to crack, but the girl just assumed that Gretchen sent her so she ignored all the attempts. Karen did the same when their english class came around, only for the same outcome.

Gretchen was getting a little frustrated. It had been days since Y/N talked to her and she missed her best friend. She missed Y/N's corny jokes that always made her laugh, how Y/N would always help her with homework, how Y/N would cuddle her during their movie nights.

How Y/N's lips always looked soft.

Wait. What?

Gretchen caught herself. Why was she thinking of Y/N like that? Y/N was her best friend, and Gretchen wasn't gay. She had a boyfriend. And she really liked him.

Right?

These feelings will go away. They're just a phase.

Oh, how wrong Gretchen would be.

It all came to a head at Regina's birthday party a couple weeks later. The blonde invited Y/N in hopes that Gretchen would be able to talk to Y/N. Plus, she liked Y/N, she was cool. Her and Karen tried to keep an eye on the two during the party.

Jason wouldn't leave Gretchen's side, much to Regina and Karen's frustration, so Y/N just hid away in a corner. The two plastics talked and formed a plan.

"Let's play seven minutes in heaven!"

Oh, shit.

Regina rolled her eyes as Kyle and Samantha came stumbling out of the closet, hair messy and clothes disheveled. She ignored the whoops and hollers from the drunk teens as she turned to Karen, who was holding the two hats with the names in her hands.

There were two left, according to Karen and Regina's plan. Regina turned to the group. "Last but not least, Gretchen and Y/N." Gretchen froze, as did Y/N. The group "oooh"ed as the two just stayed where they were.

Jason spoke up. "Well, seeing as Gretchen is MY girlfriend, I'm sure Y/N wouldn't mind if I took her place." Regina glared at the boy. "No, Jason. You had your turn with Taylor. If you wanted to go with Gretchen, you wouldn't have gone with Taylor. Sit down." Jason sat down and mumbled something under his breath.

Regina looked at Y/N and Gretchen expectantly. Gretchen took a deep breath and went to hold a hand out to Y/N.

"Shall we?"

The two sat in the closet, Y/N staring at the floor and Gretchen staring at her. They had been in there for a couple of minutes and their time was going by quickly so Gretchen decided to take the reins.

"Are we okay?" Y/N shrugged. "Why wouldn't we be?" Gretchen huffed. "Because you've been cancelling on me for our weekly hangouts!" Y/N rolled her eyes. "I'm sure Jason could hang out with you those days, why don't you ask him?"

Gretchen was caught off guard with the question but shook it off. "Why does Jason matter in this situation? I'm talking about us." Y/N shook her head. "It doesn't matter. Can we just sit in silence for the rest of the time?"

Gretchen sighed in frustration and moved closer to Y/N. "Will you just talk to me? You're my best friend and I miss you!" Y/N couldn't take it and leaned forward, pressing her lips to Gretchen's. silencing the girl.

Gretchen froze momentarily but then melted into the kiss. The two kissed for a minute before a knock was heard. Regina talked through the door. "Time's up!" The two quickly pulled away, Y/N wiping Gretchen's lip gloss off her lips. The door opened and Y/N all but ran out, before Gretchen could say anything.

Regina looked at Y/N's back and turned back to Gretchen, who looked like she was about to cry. Regina automatically started kicking people out. Jason tried to get Gretchen to go with him but the blonde stopped it.

After everyone left, Regina and Karen consoled Gretchen, who told them what happened in the closet. They told her that she needed to go after who made her happy, and that they had never seen her happier than when she was around Y/N.

Gretchen allowed her girls to comfort her before she made her decision. She knew what she wanted and she wasn't going to let anything get in her way anymore.

As her mom pulled up to the Y/L/N residence, Gretchen took a deep breath. When her mom picked her up from Regina's, she told her mom everything. Regina had graciously threatened Jason when Gretchen broke up with him earlier that morning.

Her mom had definitely told Gretchen that she should thank Regina before informing her daughter that she knew all along Gretchen and Y/N loved each other. Gretchen was shocked that her mom had already known. But her mother brushed it off as intuition.

What Gretchen didn't need to know was how Y/N's mother called her a couple weeks ago and told her that Y/N was in love with her daughter.

Gretchen worked up the courage to walk up to the front door, ready to finally make Y/N hers. Y/N's mom opened the door, shocked to see Gretchen standing in front of her. "Hi Mrs. Y/L/N, is Y/N here? I need to talk to her."

The woman smiled sadly at her. "I'm sorry Gretchen, Y/N isn't here. She left early this morning to go visit her grandparents. She'll be back in a few days. She needed some time away."

Gretchen's heart broke. Y/N was gone. She was too late. She drove Y/N away. Y/N's mom pulled her into a hug. "I'll tell her you stopped by, okay?" Gretchen nodded and turned, speed walking back to her mom's car. When the door shut, the tears flowed.

She was too late.

Y/N was sitting with her grandpa in her grandparents living room. Her grandmother was in the kitchen putting something together for lunch. "Hey Gramps, when did you know you loved Nana?" The older man chuckled. "Since the first time I laid eyes on her, why do you ask, kid?"

Y/N sighed. "I think I'm in love with my best friend." Her grandfather laughed. "That Gretchen girl? I could've told you that!" Y/N looked at her grandpa and frowned. "What are you talking about?" The man shook his head and called for his wife.

Y/N's grandma came around the corner. "Honey, how long has Y/N been in love with that Gretchen girl?" The woman chuckled. "For as long as I can remember." Y/N's jaw dropped at the answer. "And how long has Gretchen been in love with our granddaughter?"

Y/N looked confused as her grandmother laughed again. "For as long as I can remember." Y/N frowned. "No. Gretchen isn't in love with me. You guys are joking. Y/N's grandma shook her head and sat next to Y/N on the couch.

"Sweetheart. That girl, whether she wants to admit it or not, is in love with you." Y/N shook her head. "No she isn't. She's straight. And how do you guys even know this?" Y/N's grandma smiled.

"Because she looks at you how your grandfather looked at me when I walked down the aisle." Y/N's heart stopped. Did Gretchen really look at her like that? Looking back, there were times when Y/N would look at Gretchen in school to find her already looking her. And she did notice the girl was very affectionate with her.

Holy shit. Maybe Gretchen was in love with her.

Gretchen has had the shittest two days.

First, Jason wouldn't stop trying to talk to her. Thankfully, Regina was always with her. Her and Karen had been very protective after what happened to Gretchen. They had gone over to her house to comfort her about Y/N.

Second, the hoodie of Y/N's she had didn't smell like her anymore.

And third, Y/N still wasn't back from her grandparents house.

She was starting to find herself deeper in this depression hole. Regina and Karen were trying but they were seeing Gretchen retreat into herself and it was killing them.

They had tried to cheer her up by talking shit about Jason, gossiping, shopping, but nothing was working. They had decided to bring her out to a party one night but she wasn't feeling it and left early.

They had run out of options. Luckily for them, their savior was arriving soon.

Gretchen had dragged herself out of bed at 3:30 am to the sound of something hitting her window. Her dad was on a business trip and her mom was out of town at a friend's bachelorette party. So, she was extremely confused as to what was going on.

She threw her curtains open and looked out her window, only for her breath to hitch.

There was Y/N. In her front yard, holding a bouquet of her favorite flowers. The girl lit up at the sight of Gretchen. She waved and pointed towards the front door.

Gretchen took off running to her front door, almost slipping down her stairs in the process. She threw the door open and launched herself into Y/N's arms, melting into the embrace. Y/N tightened her arms around Gretchen, burying her face in her neck.

Gretchen went to speak but was interrupted by Y/N.

"Gretchen, it's been seven years since we met and I can't think of a day where I haven't been with you. I was a bitch. The way I handled everything. Especially that night." Gretchen sighed. "Yeah. That wasn't great. Why did you leave?" Y/N sighed. "I thought you were gonna regret it. And I couldn't face the idea of losing someone I really love."

Gretchen sniffled, tears shining in her eyes. "That night was the first thing I haven't regretted in a long time." Y/N took a deep breath and just talked.

"I love the way we fight. I love how smart you are. I love the weird way you always know what's happening with people. And I love how you know what you don't want. And if it's not me...if I don't check all your boxes, if I'm not the one, I get it. But that would really, really fucking suck."

Both girls stood staring at each other with admiration and desire. Gretchen looked at Y/N. "So are you gonna kiss me now?" Y/N smiled and nodded. "Yeah. I am."

Y/N surged forward and pressed her lips to Gretchen's, properly kissing her now. Gretchen melted into the kiss as Y/N pulled her closer to her. It felt like the world was right again as the two kissed passionately. It was everything Gretchen had dreamed of.

They pulled away after a couple minutes for air as Gretchen leaned her forehead against Y/N's. "I've wanted to do that for so long. Can we do that forever?" Y/N smirked, kissing Gretchen's nose. "We can do it as much as you want, baby."

Gretchen took the flowers from Y/N, putting them in water before leading Y/N to her room. The two girls got in Gretchen's bed and snuggled up to each other. Gretchen whispered into the darkness. "Y/N, what are we?" Y/N pulled the girl closer. "Whatever you want us to be, baby. We have a whole future ahead of us." Gretchen smiled and closed her eyes.

They would figure it out.

[strangermarvelss]

when he loved me- e.m

Pairing: Eddie Munson x Reader

Summary: the one where you feel eddie begin to pull away from you

Warnings: ANGST, falling out of love, misunderstanding, hurt, eddie being a total sweetie at the end, fluffy & cheesy ending

Request: No

Word Count: 3.6k

A/N: inspired by the song “when she loved me” from toy story 2 because i swear every time i listen to my sad sava playlist and that one comes on i’m a fucking bawling mess and thought it could be a cool fic with a twist at the end. benny’s and star court still exist so it isn’t canon but fanfic doesn’t have to be. also, this fic is set in the winter of 85’ and leading into the early days of ’86. one last thing, reader may be a junior but she’s around steve’s age, just for clarification :) enjoy! -sava

Part of you knew this day would come sooner or later, not realizing you got caught up in the grand scheme of the feelings of young love until it slowly starting inching out of your life. The fleeting feeling of dissipating love stretching you thinner and thinner, now becoming a shriveled lump standing the the corner of the parking lot of Hawkins High. 

The school bell had just rung and the swarm of students began flowing into the parking lot, ready to celebrate the next two weeks off of school for the holiday break and come back to a fresh year and a fresh semester of classes. Laughter and screams of joy fill the lot as your peers say their goodbyes for the time being, the promises catching up at the annual holiday party held by Jason Carver lingering in the cool Indiana wind. 

You’re body stays motionless as you watch cars fly past you out of the lot, a familiar lanky metalhead slinking along to his van catching your eye before you turn on your heel. His face is full of happiness as he opens the driver door with no hesitation. Not even a glance around the paved lot in search of you, something that used to be so common place between you two.

The resident ‘freak’ of Hawkins became your boyfriend at the beginning of the previous school year, with the start of his second attempt at a senior year and your only attempt at a junior year. He practically swept you off your feet with his naturally seductive charm paired with his eccentric and carefree personality. You were instantly hooked on the drug that was one Eddie Munson.

Days spent together laughing and exploring with one another quickly turned into relaxing evenings full of cigarette smoke and lazy makeout sessions on his bed in his uncle’s trailer, the two of you growing fond of one another quite fast and letting the thrill of teenage love keep you up at night. He invaded your mind like a sick plague, tossing and turning in your bed at night dreaming of Eddie and what the two of you would do the next time you’d meet up. It was an unhealthy obsession that made your heart flutter and love seep deep into your bones.

Which is why the last few weeks of quick glances and unspoken tension left you feeling queasy. 

Weekly Saturday date nights had become less and less frequent, between being stood up at Benny’s Diner and the movie theater at Starcourt, or just a quick last minute cancellation phones call began to make your mind race. Part of you wanted to push any doubts you had down and just ask your boyfriend why he was being so flaky, but it’s hard to talk to someone who won’t hardly even look at you. 

Conversations begun dwindling fast, and the lingering touches the two of you shared between classes and at lunch stopped all together. You weren’t sure if you had somehow managed to piss the metalhead off, but even the boys of Hellfire were beginning to pick up on his strange behavior. They attempted to reassure you that there was nothing you did wrong, but whenever you would try milking any kind of explanation out of them, the group would fall silent or quickly change topics, either keeping you out of the loop or also being as clueless as you were, you weren’t sure.

Your Friday nights spent at Hellfire had stopped as of last week, not really feeling up for sitting in a silent room aside from the instructions from your Dungeon Master with so much tension in the air you couldn’t even cut it with a knife. The cafeteria where you shared many memories at your favorite table surrounded by your favorite people became a sickening sight, opting to eat the little food you packed for a lunch in the sanctuary of the school library, thanks to the kindness of the librarian you’d befriended recently. 

The squeaking sound of the tires attached to his van pulls you back to reality momentarily, watching as he exits the lot and leaving you in the dust. With a sigh, you turn on your heel and head in the opposite direction, beginning the trek back to your own home on the opposite side of town from Eddie’s trailer.

The rational part of your brain was telling you to run back and try to catch the bus, knowing the cool wind nipping at your sensitive skin would most likely give you a cold if you kept walking. But you were at the point in your life where you just didn’t care. With the school break starting, you could take the next two weeks to retreat in the comfort of your bed and put on the best Oscar-winning acting performance of your life when your family arrived in town within the coming days, pretending that you weren’t a miserable ball of constant anxiety as you kept waiting for the time to come for Eddie to finally approach you again, only to break things off officially.

You knew he had big dreams ahead of him. Tuesday nights at the Hideout were beginning to draw in more of a crowd from surrounding towns, with a record deal or agent coming to scoop them up in just a matter of moments. He would leave this town and never look back, only the occasional visit to see his uncle who has treated him right since day one.

And you? You’d go off to college somewhere, despite wanting to drop everything and follow him on the road to fame and success. Applications went out in a few different directions all over the country, you were just waiting for one of them to bite back and accept you with open arms. The dread you used to feel about leaving for college has slowly started to become an after thought, knowing it’ll be much easier to say goodbye and start fresh with the way things were looking between you and your boyfriend. The pain wouldn’t be as unbearable as the day he’d cut the last remaining thread that was clinging to the both of you, keeping this relationship tethered together.

After a little over an hour of walking, you pull open the front door of your house and immediately relish in the warmth surrounding you. Kicking off your converse, you climb your way up the stairs and walk into your bedroom, shutting the door behind you and throwing your backpack down on the floor with a thud. Your body was still shivering from the long journey back from school, prompting you to immediately jump in your bed and bundle up in your nest of blankets.

Just as you felt yourself finally getting comfortable and the shivers coming to a halt, you hear the phone seated on your nightstand ring. With a groan, you lift one of your arms out of the cocoon you made for yourself and pick up the bright yellow phone, holding it up to your hear with a huff and mumbling a quick ‘hello’.

“Y/N, hey, it’s Dustin. I was wondering if you and Eddie could give me a ride to Hellfire tonight? I tried calling Eddie but he won’t pick up, so I assumed that maybe you both hanging out at your house,” the curly haired freshman questions you. You let out a soft sigh and turn on your side, getting a better position closer to the tethered phone.

“Yeah, Eddie’s not here. But um, I’m not going to Hellfire tonight. I would suggest trying Eddie again or asking Mike,” you answer.

“What? But you missed last week already! You know Eddie is strict on attendance within the party-“

Dustin was a sweet kind who always meant well, it was a fact you were quick to pick up on when the school year started and Eddie roped them into the club, claiming they were just lost sheep who needed a proper home, which is very true. But the boy also wasn’t the best with boundaries, and you weren’t too thrilled about his insistence on the attendance policy Eddie set in place.

“Yeah well I really don’t give a shit what Eddie thinks at the moment,” you snap. There’s a long pause, the silence over the line making you want to bang your head against the wall for having an attitude with the young member. “Shit-I’m sorry Dustin, I didn’t mean to snap towards you.”

“It’s alright…but is there something going on with you and Eddie? The other members and I have noticed your absence at lunch and how weird things have been. I just want to make sure you’re okay,” he explains to you, raising your spirits a tiny bit.

“I honestly don’t know what’s going on, I wish I had a better answer for you. But you don’t have to worry about me Dustin, I’ll be fine. Whatever the outcome may be,” you tell him, the last sentence coming out much softer than the others.

“Okay, just making sure.”

“Thanks kid. I hope you find a ride, have fun,” you say, and quickly put the phone back on the console, a sharp ‘ding’ echoing in the room. You throw your head back against your pillow and stare at the ceiling for a good few minutes before closing your eyes and letting sleep overtake your consciousness. 

———————————————————————————————

A soft sudden tap against the window coaxes you awake, blinking a few times in your current spot before sitting up right in your comfy bed and directing your attention to the noise. You feel as if your eyes are deceiving you as you watch your metalhead boyfriend knocking against the glass, his feet perched on the roof that sat outside your window.

You felt your stomach drop as you continued to look at him, a lump quickly forming in your throat as you throw the covers off your tired body and begin making your way towards the window.

The day you’d been dreading was finally happening. 

Eddie Munson was here to finally cut the remaining ties that held your relationship together. He was here to kick you out of Hellfire and break your heart, all in one fell swoop. 

You pause for a moment and direct yourself towards the side table you kept by your door, all the important things you always needed before leaving the house finding a home on the surface. You pull out a box on the lower level of the table, the collection of Eddie’s things you kept at your house all in one convenient location. He’d probably be wanting this back right about now, considering some of his favorite band t-shirts and a few signature jewelry pieces resided in the cardboard box.

Walking back to the window with the box in hand, you set it on your desk and undo the latches of your window, sliding the inner portion up and feeling the cool air meet your skin once more.

“Hi,” he lets out, a smile situated on his face as his hot breath collides with the cold Hawkins air. You’re quick to cross your arms, feeling as if you need to retreat in yourself and look towards your feet rather than meeting his gaze.

“Hi,” you muster out.

“You gonna let me in? I might just freeze to death out here baby,” he asks you, his big brown eyes widening into a puppy dog gaze when you look up at him.

“Probably not the best idea, you don’t plan on even being here that long, do you?” you question. His eyebrows furrow at your words, his nose scrunching ever so slightly as the silence is quick to fall between the two of you, but he quickly shakes out of the negative expression.

“Well Henderson told me you weren’t feeling up for the meeting tonight, and thought maybe I should come and check on you since you’ve now missed two meetings back to back. Is everything okay?” He asks, repositioning himself a little.

Damn Dustin with his lack of boundaries. You might just end up hurting the kid. But not before you hurt the man in front of you. Is everything okay, is he fucking serious right now? You truly couldn’t comprehend what was going through his mind. Was he being purposefully obtuse or did he really not notice you over the past few weeks?

“Are you actually ser-never mind,” you let out a harsh sigh and turn away from him for a brief moment, grabbing the box of his things and shoving it in his hands. “I assume this is the real reason you’re here, right?”

“Baby, Christmas isn’t for another couple of days, I’m not ready for the gift exchange,” he tells you, trying to hand the box back to you, but you hold your hand out to stop him.

“This isn’t a Christmas gift. It’s all the stuff you’ve left at my place over the past year and some months,” you explain to him. 

“Okay now I’m lost sweetheart. Can I please come inside though? So we can properly talk?” Eddie asks, trying to step through the threshold of your bedroom window but you’re quick to stop his actions once more.

“Eddie just stop, please! I really don’t want to be broken up with in the comfort of my own home,” you blurt out. His features go from confused to sad in a matter of seconds, looking like a kicked puppy who was left on the side of the road.

You bring your hands up to your head and begin massaging your temples, the frustration building inside you beginning to effect the areas of your body most vulnerable to stress. You really weren’t in the mood to have this discussion right now. Frankly, you’d never be ready for this discussion, but you knew it had to happen at some point.

“You think I’m breaking up with you?”

“Eddie you cannot be fucking serious right now. Why else would you start pulling away from me? Cancelling dates, stoping giving me rides to school, ignoring my fucking existence? I know when someone is falling out of love with another, I’ve seen it happen to Steve when he and Nancy were dating,” you explain to him. 

Without hesitation, he tosses the box of his things up on your desk and pulls himself inside your room, much to your protest. He stalks over you and crouches down, trying to meet your gaze as your eyes find purchase on the floor again.

“Baby, can you please look at me? I don’t want to break up with you, not ever in a million years,” his voice soft as he reaches for your chin. You pull away and turn your back towards him, Eddie throwing his hands up in a surrender pose that you see in your floor length mirror. He lets out a defeated sigh and runs his hands through his hair, worry etched across his face.

He began to pace around your small bedroom, muttering incoherent sentences under his breath as he bites at his fingernails, something he swore he never did unless it was the only possible thing that could sooth his frayed nerves, turning to weed or a cigarette instead. But he knew you couldn’t have the lingering smell of nicotine or the wretched marijuana smell in your home, your parents might actually kill you.

‘Fuck it’ Eddie thought, stopping in his tracks and turning his attention towards you. You watch from the mirror as his body disappears behind you. Your brows twist in confusion as you turn around to see what in the world he could possibly be doing, only to be met with his figure kneeling before you, one leg resting against the plush carpet of your room while the other knee pressed firmly into it, his fingers fumbling through the pockets of his vest and jacket before pulling out a small black velvet box.

“Oh my god, Eddie what are you doing-“

“This,” he opens the small box and presents you with a diamond ring seated between two satin cushions, the color similar to the box itself. The ring had a simple stone attached to a plain band, the diamond cut into the shape of a heart and measuring in at a quarter of a carat, but beautiful nonetheless. “This is why I’ve been acting do dodgy.”

Your hands fly to your mouth, covering the gasp you let out as you took in the image before you, the beautiful ring and the soft vulnerable expression resting on Eddie’s face. You shake your head as you feel tears begin to prick at your eyes, truly and utterly shocked by his actions.

“Eddie you totally suck at proposing!” You exclaim, removing your hands from your mouth and letting out a sigh, your hands running through your hair in frustration.

“This isn’t how I planned on asking you! I had this whole thing planned and then you started saying shit about breaking up today and I panicked!” He matches your energy, standing from his position. Your eyes meet his and another sigh slips past your lips. “I had this reservation at Enzo’s for literally tomorrow, and w-we were gonna go to Skull Rock, where we had our first date! And I was gonna do it there, I promise this was not in the plan.”

“Eddie, how did you even afford this? A beautiful ring and a dinner at Enzo’s? Baby that place is expensive,” you interrogate, willing yourself to rest for a moment and plop down on your bed. Eddie stands before you, the tiny box still open in his hand, ring staring directly at you.

“That’s one of the reason’s I’ve been so dodgy too. See, to afford this amazing ring for my beautiful girlfriend, hopefully turned fiancé, I picked up some extra dealing jobs and even found some side jobs over the course of the past few weeks. We’re talking actual manual labor, sweetheart,” he explains to you, bouncing down to look at your face, with his feet resting on the ground. You meet his gaze through your lashes, a pout pressed upon your lips.

“I picked this baby up today and the reservations at Enzo’s were made a week ago. I promise baby, you’re it for me. I-I know we’re young and not even out of high school yet, but I need you in my life forever, I love you so much. I’m sorry I acted like an ass with neglecting you, but you know I can’t keep anything from you! Our relationship is an open book and if I spent too much time around you, I’d spill the beans and the whole plan would’ve been ruined.”

“You really mean all that?” You ask him. He grabs hold of your chin lightly and tilts it, getting a better look at your sad eyes. 

“Every fuckin’ word, sweetheart,” he promises, leaning forward and capturing your lips with his soft ones. Without a second thought, you melt into his touch, bringing your hand to his cheek and resting it on the delicate skin as you deepen the kiss. Tearing yourself away quick, the pout you had earlier quickly makes another appearance, your brows twisting in a bit of anger.

The lingering sense of guilt began washing over you, embarrassment quickly following at the realization of the misunderstanding settling in. Part of you did feel bad, especially seeing the reaction Eddie had when you tried giving him his stuff back, as if he’s been punched in the gut, like he did in the school parking lot at the beginning of the school year when Jason Carver inserted himself in your business, where he definitely didn’t belong.

But another part of you kept telling yourself that you had no idea. When someone acts standoffish and neglectful like Eddie had been, what else were you supposed to think? It wasn’t like the two of you could talk about the situation, because he wouldn’t reach out to you anymore. Even the Hellfire boys didn’t know what was going on. You thought, now knowing the circumstances of his odd behavior, he would’ve confided in Jeff or Gareth, but no. He kept everyone in the dark, at least from what you thought.

“You really did hurt me, you know?” 

“I know baby, and I regret treating you so badly. I will do whatever you want me to in order to make it up to you and show you that I. Love. You,” he tells you, peppering kisses all over your face, a giggle escaping your mouth.

You take his hands in yours and stand to your feet, bringing him up with you. The two of you stare at one another, foreheads pressed together and basking in each other’s presence under the soft moonlight that creeped through the open window.

“I’m not accepting, just to let you know,” you announce. Eddie pulls away from you, his happy, blissful demeanor quickly fading with a frown slapping across his face and his eyes growing as wide as dinner plates.

“W-wait, what-“ you bring a finger to his lips, shutting him up.

“Let me speak Munson. I want you to actually ask me, just like you had planned. My answer will come to you tomorrow,” you tell him, closing the box with a snap and looking at him with soft eyes. His features twist back to what they were, the grin creeping along his lips forming the cute dimples on his cheeks you so desperately loved.

“Plus it gives me time tomorrow to go find a nice outfit and get my nails done.”

[tenjito]

the tide is high, but i'm holding on. || miyawaki sakura

pairing: miyawaki sakura x female reader contents: exes to lovers, forced proximity technically, chaewon's so done, y/nkura are eunchae's divorced parents, swearing, jealousy, kissing description: you and sakura broke up right before iz*one officially disbanded. coincidentally, the both of you ended up debuting in the same group again.

it's moments like these where you start to question your entire existence as a whole, because who the fuck decided to put you and your ex-girlfriend in the same group?

okay, sure, no one actually knew that the two of you dated (aside from the other members of iz*one), so it makes sense that hybe didn't know the possible consequences of it all.

you and sakura broke up a week before your iz*one contracts ended. the two of you were having another argument—which had been happening quite frequently for the past few weeks—in the car while you drove to meet the rest of the members for dinner.

"sakura, i don't get why you're so pissed off at me! it's not my fault we barely get to spend time together!" you yelled, eyes on the road as you gripped the steering wheel tightly.

"well then, whose fault is it, y/n? it certainly isn't mine since i'm not the one who has on cancel on you everytime we make any plans together!" your girlfriend shouted from the passengers seat, running her fingers through her hair in fraustration.

"ugh sakura, let it go! i told you already, i've been busy." you stated, feeling like a broken record repeating yourself for the hundredth time. "besides, every time we are together, we just end up fighting like always!" you admitted, and maybe it was a harsh thing to say, but it was true.

but nothing could've prepared you for sakura's next words.

"maybe we should just break up then." her voice was low, almost like a whisper compared to the shouting and yelling from a few seconds ago, and her lip quivered ever so slightly as you stopped at a red light.

your heart sank. you couldn't have possibly heard her correctly... right? that question was soon answered as you turned to face the woman beside you, and the tears in her eyes only meant one thing.

you couldn't say anything. you didn't know what to say. you only stare in disbelief at sakura, who faced the window, avoiding any eye contact with you. before you could utter a response, a beep was heard from the car behind you and the light was green.

your hands were no longer firmly gripping the steering wheel. instead, they were shaking as you drove and you bit down on your lip to try focus your thoughts on the road rather than on sakura's previous words.

"pullover. i'm getting off." she suddenly spoke up.

"what? you can't just—"

"i can do whatever i want, y/n. you're not my girlfriend anymore." sakura's voice noticeably cracked while she said the last sentence, and a sharp, sickly sensation cut through your heart when you heard it.

you pulled over. she got out. no words. no goodbye. no see you later. no nothing. just the sound of the car door slamming and the empty silence that followed.

sad driving was dangerous, but just-broke-up-with-your-girlfriend sad was a lot worse. luckily enough, despite the crying throughout the whole drive, you made it to the restaurant without any accidents.

"where's sakura?" chaeyeon asked after you greeted the group, and your attempts of hiding your swollen eyes and dried up tears from your members earlier were useless, because you ended up crying to them about the whole situation.

in conclusion, that night was full of drinking, crying, comforting and more crying, but no matter how much alcohol you consumed, nothing would change the fact that sakura was gone.

seemingly enough, you learned to forget and move on from the heartbreak (or at least that's what you convinced yourself), and never spoke to sakura ever since that day.

that was until: le sserafim.

this new group was a blessing and a curse for the both of you, but mostly a curse.

it was undoubtedly awkward at the start, and there was evident tension between the two of you.

the rest of the members, apart from chaewon, were completely confused about this. all three of you were in the same group, so why was it that you and sakura seemed to hate each other? eunchae, who was probably the biggest iz*one fan there, was especially confused.

she remembered the two of you being inseparable during iz*one days. 'y/nkura' was probably the biggest ship among fans (she shipped it too), so what the hell happened?

kim chaewon knew the answer to that question since she was the only one who knew about your past relationship, and she also knew that two exes being in the same group as each other was indeed, a very bad idea. especially if it was you and sakura.

but being your leader and longtime friend, chaewon practically forced the both of you to at least try to get along.

turns out, it wasn't that bad.

"y/n, could you pass me a knife?" sakura asks, taking out a few vegetables from the fridge and laying them on the table. you perk up from your seat and switch off your phone.

"not even a 'please'?" you tease, walking over to the cutlery drawer and retrieving a knife. sakura rolls her eyes as you handed her the knife.

"please and thank you," she says before placing a carrot onto the chopping board.

you took this as an opportunity to steal a piece of meat that she'd been cooking from the sizzling pan. sakura was basically the chef of the house, always cooking for the other members. you'll never admit it, but her cooking was your absolute favourite.

"y/n!" sakura shouts, grabbing your arm before you could reach the food. she gives you a stern look and you let out a groan.

"but i'm hungryyy," you drag, dramatically pouting at the older. she lets go off your arm and smiles.

your heart flutters and your face heats up. i forgot how pretty her smile was...

"just wait, i'm almost done." sakura says, but you don't move. you just watch.

you watch the way strands of her hair fall past her face, and the way she gently tucks them back behind her ear afterwards. you watch her glued eyes that are so focused on what she's doing, and you find it adorable.

wait. no you don't. you can't. she's your ex, you idiot—

"i can feel you staring at me." sakura speaks, snapping you out of your trance.

your ears burn in embarrassment. "uh," quick, make up an excuse! "it's 'cause you're cutting it wrong, dummy. i'll show you how it's done."

you let out a breath before taking the knife from sakura and moving closer. the older just waits in anticipation, arms folded with a rather judging look.

despite the incredibly cocky expression on your face, you've never actually used a kitchen knife before, let alone cooked anything in your life. maybe this isn't the best idea, you think, and you hesitantly turn to face sakura.

"go on,"

the chastising tone in her voice irks you. just cut the damn carrot, y/n. and so you did. the knife is sharp and it goes through the carrot a lot smoother than you had initially expected.

"you're cutting it the same way. what's the difference?" sakura says wearily, and she's so close to your ear that you almost jump.

"sh-shut up, just wait!" you complain, more nervous about the fact that your ex was inches away from your face and sakura holds her hands up in defence.

"okay, okay..!"

you're a lot less confident now. you feel sakura's breaths on your nape as she's peering over your shoulder, and you don't what or how it happens, but the knife slips in your hands and you feel a sharp sting on your finger.

"shit—" you hiss, abruptly dropping the knife on the chopping board.

out of pure impulse, sakura instinctively takes a tissue from the kitchen table and grabs your hand, carefully wiping the blood off your finger. she opens the supply drawer next to you and takes out a small bandaid before wrapping it around the cut. you wince at the action, but sakura tells you to stay still and you do.

once the bandaid is on and sakura lets go off your hand, the both of you realize what the the actual fuck just happened. sakura's eyes leave yours first and she clears her throat.

"are you, uhm...are you okay?" she asks awkwardly, and you quietly nod.

neither of you even dare to face the other. it stays silent, the tension in the room threatening to crush you with its unbearable weight. the silence is thankfully broken by the sound of the door opening.

"unnie! is the food ready yet?" eunchae asks, walking into the room. sakura informs her just two more minutes and she's done. you go back to your seat, and you and sakura don't talk to each other for the rest of the day.

it's been a week since the incident, and you and your ex have been ignoring each other as much as possible. the only times you would interact was when you were forced to during practices or livestreams. of course, the first person to notice the avoidance is your leader, and she was very annoyed to say the least.

"i thought you two promised you were going to get along? you were fine last week, what happened?" chaewon is sat across from you and sakura, looking like she was about to murder the both of you.

you huff, rolling your eyes. chaewon sighs and turns her head to face sakura, knowing that you weren't willing to answer the question she had just asked.

"chae, it's hard, okay? we didn't really...end on the best terms, so it's too weird to just start speaking normally to each other as if nothing happened." the japanese woman says, grimacing at the memory of the break up.

does she regret it? yeah. every waking moment she regrets it. does she still have feelings for you? maybe. she isn't entirely sure anymore. can she undo what happened between you and her? unfortunately, no. she wants to, but she can't, and it's all her fault.

"i know, i understand that but," chaewon pinches the bridge of her nose and squints hard before continuing. "we're a team now. both of you have to stop hating each other so much, even if you're exes. you need to do it for the rest of the group, and for the fans."

you hate to admit it but your leader was right. the other girls and the fans don't know about you and sakura's past, so you have to suck it up and pretend like nothing happened, like you aren't still heartbroken.

you have to pretend like you were never in love with miyawaki sakura.

the words "i love you" were never actually exchanged by you or sakura during your relationship. it was felt, but never said. and honestly, you were quite grateful for that fact. otherwise, the break up would've hurt more than it already did. you knew that well.

"okay," you say hesitantly, looking at your leader and then to the eldest. "we'll...try."

and for the next few weeks, try you did.

it was going well so far. you and sakura eventually moved passed the awkward exes stage and into the friendly exes stage, a major improvement from the month before. the only thing you had to do now was keep it up.

your group was currently promoting your latest comeback 'antifragile'. after performing the song for music bank, your group was getting ready to leave. yunjin had to go to the restroom, so the rest of you just waited in the hall until she came back.

"y/n?" a voice calls, and you immediately turn to see who it is.

"miyeon, hey!" you say enthusiastically. the (g)i-dle member pulled you into a tight embrace and you smiled as you pulled away. "it's been so long!"

"i know! i've missed you so much,"

miyeon had been a close friend of yours ever since she was a trainee and you were in produce 48. the two of you have always stayed in contact but rarely got to meet up outside of work, so the both of you took this as an opportunity to catch up.

you were too occupied with miyeon to notice yunjin come back from the restroom, and you most definitely didn't notice the glares sakura was sending your friend as you spoke to her.

"y/n, we have to go." chaewon then speaks up, tapping you on the shoulder. you nod and say goodbye to miyeon, noticing her group calling for her too. your group made their way out, and the girls started chatting.

"i'm so tired. i just wanna go to bed," eunchae says, and kazuha nods in agreement.

yunjin gasps, "you're tired? i'm so hungry i can't even think about sleep." she admits, and they laugh.

"i agree," you say, then turn to the eldest who had been oddly quiet the whole time. "i say chef sakura should cook us her special ramen." you chaffed, but the older didn't seem too pleased.

"why should i make it? you can cook it yourself if you're so hungry." the tone in sakura's voice was aggressive, and everyone could tell something was upsetting her.

well, everyone except you, because it doesn't surprise you whenever your ex acts like this towards you.

"because it's always better when you make it."

sakura can't hide the light blush that settles on her cheeks and trickles down her neck at your words. god why was she feeling like this? she ignores the way her heartbeat was now ten times faster than before and rolls her eyes.

"it'll taste the same if you make it." she says, entering the car before you could give a response.

"what's up with her?" you mutter under your breath as you follow the others into the vehicle.

you couldn't help but notice that the car ride home was weirder than it should've been. eunchae and kazuha had fallen fast asleep at the back of the car, so obviously it was a lot quieter than usual. but there was something else.

someone else.

everyone had gone to bed by now, but as always, you were still awake. you had left you and kazuha's shared room to make some tea since sleeping wasn't something you were planning on doing anytime soon.

you lean against the kitchen counter, mindlessly staring at the kettle boiling the water, waiting patiently for its whistle to calm.

"you're still up? it's late." a voice interrupts your empty thoughts, and you look up to see who had just spoken, a little startled since you had assumed no one else was awake at this time.

"sakura." you watch as the japanese woman walks over to stand next to you, rubbing her eyes slightly, noticeably tired from the exhausting day. "why aren't you sleeping?"

there's a brief silence before she speaks up, and when she does, her voice is barely above a whisper.

"i'm sorry."

you stare at sakura, confused. "what?"

she sighs, "i-..i'm sorry about today. i shouldn't have been such an asshole to you, i was just—" she pauses, and you can tell straight away that there's something on her mind.

"what's wrong, kkura-chan?"

sakura's breath hitches, and her heart is telling her several things she can't ignore.

kkura-chan.

she hasn't heard you call her that in forever. it was her favourite nickname you'd call her when the two of you were dating, and fuck did she miss the sound of it. she had always felt comforted and safe whenever you used to use it, so maybe that's why she was able to tell you the truth. the full truth.

"i was jealous," she starts, head down as she anxiously tensed her shoulders. "i was jealous of miyeon when the two of you were talking earlier and i felt...angry. not at you, or miyeon, but at myself. and i know, i know, i have no right to feel jealous of it because you're not mine anymore and you've moved on, so i should too but i can't because it fucking hurts—"

"kkura."

"—and i'm saying this now because i don't know how much longer i can go without telling you that i still have feelings for you, and i regret ever breaking up with you every day of my—"

"sakura!" your shout stops her from continuing her rant, and she only looks up at you with an apologetic expression. she doesn't dare say anything more, and just waits for you to yell at her, or tell her that she's a shit person, or ask her to leave.

but no. instead, she's met with something nothing could've prepared her for.

your lips were on hers.

you kissed her, and she immediately kissed back. you were the first to pull away, though the kiss was only short, and sakura could only wonder one thing. why? and as if you could read her mind, you told her exactly why.

"i love you, kkura. and honestly?..i don't think i ever stopped. i was never able to move on from you, even if i knew i had to...i just couldn't. no matter what i did to try and forget, i couldn't help but miss every part of you. i missed your voice, i missed your smile, i missed the way you laughed and the way you made me laugh. i just missed you. and when you left, i knew i wouldn't be the same, because i'm nothing without you, sakura."

she's staring at you in absolute shock, and you're staring back with a hinge of fear, but there's something so soothing about the soft smile that ever so slowly forms on her face.

"i love you too, y/n. i always have."

and then, this time, it's sakura who closes the distance.

neither of you waste any time, really. sakura's hands make their way to your hair and yours are on her hips.

sakura seems more sure of herself in the harsh light of the kitchen than she's ever been, her hands firm, and seeming to know exactly what she wants.

she presses forward, pushing you back into the counter as your lips move together, hands smoothing over the fabric of your shirt, down down, and then under, and then up, and when you feel sakura's long fingers stroking the skin right under your ribs, you hum against her mouth.

there is a lot happening all at once, hands and mouths and bodies, and sakura bites gently against your lower lip like she knows what she’s doing, and that's because she does. she always does.

you breathe in all of her, and her scent is one you've grown to miss. sakura sighs against you, fingers scratching at the base of your neck while your hand slides up to slip into her shirt from below, tracing over her warm skin.

sakura makes a sound, a small, ragged sound, and you can hear it so clearly in the silence of the empty room. her teeth bite down a little more harshly when you grab firmly and you make a small, ragged sound of your own.

you slide your leg between sakura's, pull her even closer, drink in her surprised noise with a grin before carefully, carefully, coaxing sakura's mouth open.

she tastes like the strawberry lip balm she used to always use so long ago, and you can't help but smile against her lips, because it’s sakura, your sakura, whom you realise hasn't changed at all.

and then she whines, just when you thought that small, ragged sound was the best sound you'd ever hear, and it’s almost involuntary, the way you drag sakura's hips closer. her hands press more firmly against your ribs, slip forward to press against the indents of your abs, slip down, fingers dipping under the waistband of your jeans.

the door opens and there's a very obvious echo of someone clearing their throat as you and sakura rush to pull apart.

"this is not what i meant when i said 'try to get along',"

sakura shyly buries her head into the crook of your neck to hide her flushed face as she holds in a laugh.

"are you mad?" you ask chaewon.

your leader shakes her head. "no. quite relieved, actually." but her face doesn't change from the scolding look she wore initially. "but that doesn't mean i'm letting you two continue your make out session. i need sleep, and i'd rather not hear any more sounds coming from either of you. goodnight."

chaewon leaves, and you and sakura burst out into laughter.

"i missed you, kkura-chan."

she smiles.

"i missed you too, y/nnie."

[kooktrash]

summer bummer, baby | jeon jungkook [teaser] NOW POSTED

summary: summertime is supposed to be a time of easy living and that’s what you were hoping for when you signed up for an extra credit program cleaning up the shores of Busan and staying in a luxurious beach house. what you didn’t sign up for was to live with Jungkook, a failed talking stage who you’ve avoided for the past few months. despite having a slight disliking toward each other you find yourselves be by pulled back into each other throughout your stay. the only question that remains is if this is just going to be a summer thing or something more.

TWO PART SERIES

➢ genre/au: enemies to lovers/beach read. jungkook x y/n [afab she/her]

➢ 795 words

warnings: soft e2l. smüt with plot. beach foreplay. handsy sunscreen scenes. oral [f and m]. händjob. cünnilingus. no protection. jk’s pull out game is strong. missionary. riding. heavy makeout and groping. jealous jk. jealous y/n. jk is a soft tsundere [v antisocial and cold except to y/n —mostly]. love bites. jk almost gets into a fight over y/n. y/n meets jk’s family.

Jungkook was able to ignore you for the most part. Aside from the first day at work he hasn’t really seen you too much. You both have only worked twice since then and because you’re on a set rotation to make sure everyone works the same amount, you haven’t seen each other that much.

Not that he minds, it’s just something he’s noticed.

He doesn’t pay attention to everything you do but you’ve got a weird relationship, alright? Of course you’ve spent the last couple of months avoiding each other but there’s a very valid reason for that.

The first time the two of you talked, you completely hit it off. You had been assigned to do a project together in the same class as the one where you joined this summer camp for. You met up in the library mostly, but you had this light banter that would go on between you that was clearly flirty, it wasn’t until after presenting your research on the destruction of the Ozone layer that you really started texting.

You were talking all the time and sometimes the conversations would drift a little too far into dating territory and you just realized you were different in some ways. Jungkook likes texting all the time whereas you could go hours without responding. He’s been in about the same amount of relationships as you and you both had been in that hook up only phase. When you did decide to try going on a date the first time he flaked but it wasn’t intentional. He had to work that night and had completely forgotten that when he agreed on a date.

The second time, you both sort of flaked after attempting to reschedule the first one. He’s not sure if you had gotten fed up with trying to find an available time to get drinks but it just wasn’t working out. You both had finally decided on a Saturday but when the day came neither of you said anything. He had been waiting for you to reach out first since he had been blowing up your phone about it the night before. You had been waiting for him to reach out first and confirm the plans since he’s the one who canceled last time. Clearly neither one of you put in the effort to make it happen so it never did.

Then, the final time you attempted to get drinks together was about three weeks later. After the second time you cut back on how much you talked but when you got back to talking like normal and set a date you ended up blowing him off completely. You didn’t even show up so clearly he was bothered by that enough to ask you about it.

You had a tiny argument over it and it just made you both realize that if it was this hard to go one just one date then you clearly weren’t working for each other and that pursuing anything past a friendship wasn’t going to happen. Of course that then made the friendship itself awkward and in the end you avoided each other.

Now he’s stuck in a house with other guys with one who seems to be clearly interested in knowing more about you.

“I’m just saying,” Jisoo said as all four guys sat outside on the deck facing the beach, “Y/n is hot, like mysterious hot since she doesn’t talk to anyone.”

“She talks to Jungkook,” Hoseok pointed out, making Jungkook roll his eyes.

“That’s because we have class together,” Jungkook said, trying not to give out too much information. He doesn’t need any of them asking questions. Besides, it’s only been a week, how do they expect you to be cool with everyone right away? He’s not defending you, he’s just being realistic, plus Hoseok is still going based on what he saw the first day of work.

“Really?” Jisoo asked, “Are you guys friends? I haven’t seen you guys talk? Did you guys date or something? It seems like you hate each other, tell me something about her.”

“Jesus,” Jimin laughed, “Obsessed much?”

Jisoo groaned, “I can’t help it. She’s so hot, have you seen her in those bikinis?”

Jungkook felt his jaw clench but he hid the action behind a glass bottle of beer as he muttered, “You’re not her type.”

“What?” Jisoo asked, clearly catching what he said. Jungkook just looked him over with a shrug, “I said you’re not her type.”

“So who is?”

Me.

::.

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[katsu28]

Hi babes! I think you’re a fantastic writer and that we all really appreciate the writing you do!

I was wondering if I could get “being carried/tucked into bed after staying up waiting for their partner to come home” with a female reader for Jamie!

If you don’t want to, that’s totally okay as well! Thank you for you’re work! You’re amazing

thank you!! u are too kind, i appreciate you <3

jamie tartt x fem!reader, 1k

You felt like you hadn’t seen Jamie in ages. There was a good effort on both your parts to make time for each other and your relationship, but with both early morning and late night training sessions for the upcoming Premier League Cup on his end, your time together had been quickly growing more sparse. 

Countless date nights had been canceled, and you used to be able to pop over to Nelson Road with some takeaway for a quick lunch in the stands with him, but with your workplace becoming horribly understaffed lately, lunches had been set on the backburner too. 

More often than not, the most time you had with each other was in bed, but that was mostly spent getting some much needed sleep. He was always exhausted, you were always exhausted—it was a never ending cycle. Sometimes you’d vaguely sense him slip under the covers beside you with a kiss pressed to whichever part of your body was closest to him, but you were usually asleep by the time he got home. 

Tonight, however, you were determined to stay awake until he came home. You settled yourself in front of the television with the latest season of the show you were currently binging, clutching a cup of steaming tea between your hands to keep you awake. 

Your exhaustion from the workday quickly proved too much to bear, because as soon as you settled your head on your arm, you could feel your eyelids growing heavier and heavier. Soon enough, you’d fallen asleep. 

-------

Jamie let himself in as quietly as he could, being careful not to let the door slam behind him. You were probably long gone by now, that’s how late it was. 

He hated that he was getting home around this time almost everyday now, but he kept telling himself it was only for another few weeks. Just a few more weeks and then he’d be home at a normal time and you’d get to spend your evenings together again. He’d already started planning some of them out as a motivation. 

Toeing off his trainers by the coat rack, Jamie was prepared to make a mad dash down the hall in order to miss that one pesky creaky floorboard, but then he turned around. 

He clocked in on the soft noise coming from the telly first, the show he knew for a fact you’d been meaning to catch up on nothing but background noise when he spotted you a split second later. 

You were curled up on the sofa, fast asleep, cheek pressed into the sleeve of his jumper. An empty mug hung from your fingertips, threatening to fall until Jamie scooped it up and put it on the end table next to you. He knelt by your head, taking his time to admire your peaceful face before giving your arm a gentle rub. 

“Hey,” He murmured. You stirred a little bit, but didn’t open your eyes. He prodded at your shoulder this time, a little more insistent this time. “Babe, wake up.”  

You blinked awake slowly, stifling a yawn behind your hand. Once your eyes adjusted to the light and you saw Jamie crouched in front of you, you knew your attempt in staying awake until he got home had been futile. 

“Hi.” You mumbled, rubbing your eyes furiously. His lips quirked up into part of a grin. “I meant to stay up til you got home. Guess it didn’t work out too well.” 

“It’s late," Jamie said quietly, running his thumb over the apple of your cheek fondly. “You didn’t have to wait up for me, love.” 

“I wanted to.” 

“But it’s late.” You knew he wasn’t saying it with anything other than your wellbeing in mind, but you still frowned, pushing yourself up on one elbow. 

“I feel like we haven’t seen each other in ages.” 

Jamie’s expression crumpled. He dragged a hand through his hair, bunching the strands at the top of his head before letting them flop back into place. “I know. I know, love, and ‘m sorry. It’s just been mad stressful with everything goin’ on, but I promise soon I’ll be home a lot more and a lot earlier. Just a few more weeks, that’s it.” 

“Oh no, Jaim, I'm not blaming you at all.” Scrambling to a sitting position, you took both of his hands in yours gently. You ducked down to meet his defeated gaze, pressing a kiss to his forehead and bumping his chin with your knuckles to get him to look back up at you. When he did, he looked downright exhausted but offered you a tiny smile anyways. “We’ve both been busy. I just thought it’d be nice to get some actual time together before bed.” 

“You’re the best,” He sighed, letting himself fall forwards until his upper half on your lap, face buried in the blanket covering you. “I’m so tired.” 

“Double training sessions will do that to you.” 

“Try triple. Roy’s a madman—I think he’s trying to kill me!” 

“By whipping you into better shape than you’ve ever been before?” You teased, stroking a hand down his back. “If anything, he’s trying to kill me by making you look like you do.” 

“You think I look good?” 

“I always think you look good, babe.” You assured him, giving him a firm pat on the bum.

He perked up rather proudly at the compliment and action. “Good enough to take to bed?”

“To sleep? Never thought you’d ask.” 

“Alright, c’mon you sleepyhead,” Jamie sighed faux-dramatically, clambering to his feet. He hefted you into his arms with ease and you snuggled a bit deeper against his chest, pressing your nose into his neck with a content sigh. He’d showered at the facility, you could tell by the smell of his conditioner invading your senses. “You sniffin’ me, you weirdo?” 

“You wish.” 

Jamie dropped you onto the bed once he was within tossing distance but tucked you in, bringing the covers up under your chin in such a manner that contradicted the playful roughness of his other actions. “Don’t you dare fall asleep on me yet. Ten minutes and I’m yours for the night, yeah?” 

“Better get a move on then, shouldn’t you? I’m so sleepy, I could just crash…right—”

“Don’t you fuckin’ dare. I’m goin’ as fast as I can, love, I can barely feel me legs right now!”

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[ughgoaway]

Yes so many constant teacher reader thoughts! What about early dating when she's had a really hard week at school, maybe she's been staying behind for parents night or something and is absolutely exhausted. She's not replying to Matty as much or just giving him short ideas and him being Matty starts to worry that she's having second thoughts about their relationship

Omg people having thoughts about my au is so cool… and this is such a good thought. 

You and Matty have only recently started dating, maybe a month and a bit? And matty thinks it's been going perfectly, but he can't help but feel insecure about the relationship. He is so madly in love with you and has been for so long. He can't help but be nervous he's going to lose you. And he can't bear the thought because he's only just managed to get you. 

You reassure him when he asks that you want to be with him, that you were also pining over him for months, and that this is exactly what you wanted that whole time.

And Matty believes you, for the most part. But there's always that sneaking thought of “what if”. What if she hates me? What if she regrets this relationship? What if she thinks im wrong for her? What if this is all wrong?

////

it's been a stressful week at work. You have parent evening at the end of the week, which means it's lots of late nights preparing everything you're gonna say to each parent. It might seem easy to talk to parents about their kid's progress, but it's one of the worst parts of being a teacher.

It seems parents either think their child is an angel on earth or the spawn of Satan. You say one thing they can improve upon, and suddenly, a parent is jumping down your throat, “How could you? My little Amy is perfect!!” or they start scolding the child in front of you “You are useless! Why can't you just focus for 5 bloody minutes??” 

So you've been fucking exhausted all week, and you've cancelled on Matty twice. You had a date on Monday, but you saw the pile of work on your desk and messaged to reschedule for Wednesday.

Matty then didn't hear from you all of Tuesday or Wednesday, so was already nervous you were mad at him. But when you text to cancel on Wednesday? His heart fucking dropped.

You must be second-thinking this whole thing. Maybe you decided the risk to your job was too much, or maybe Matty isn't how you wanted him to be. 

But in an attempt to stop himself from spiralling too much, he texts George and details his worries. Of course, George simply calls him a twat and says “Trust me, she likes you. It's sickening being around the two of you for more than 10 minutes.”

Matty wants to tell George he and Charli are no better, but he leaves it for today and takes his friend's words at face value.

So he texts back saying it's fine and that he misses you. and each minute that passes by with no response is killing Matty slowly.

After 45 minutes of silence, you just reply “<3”, which doesn't exactly help Matty’s mental state. 

He texts you every day, and each day, your responses get shorter and shorter. Until it's Sunday, and he hasn't heard from you since Friday evening. 

It's then he decides you must be rethinking this, rethinking him. there is no reason why you would be ignoring him otherwise. And it fucking shatters him, he goes into break-up mode before any break-up even happens.

He drops Annie off at Hanns and stops at Tesco, grabbing ice cream, red wine, and tissues. He wants to feel like a girl in a shit romantic comedy, so he's gonna do just that. 

2 bottles of wine later, Matty thinks it's the perfect time to call you… despite it being 3 am. Needless to say, you don't answer. But Matty being Matty, he leaves a wine-drunk voicemail. 

“Heyyyyy y/n. It's Matty. Your boyfriend. I think… anyway, im just calling to say you can just dump me, you know? You don't have to be nice or anything. I won't turn Annie against you. But I don't think I could even if I wanted to, m’ pretty sure she likes you more than me already. But whatever… I've had a few bottles of wine and just thought I should call and tell you im fineeee. Totally fineeee. So yeah, if we’re over of whatever, you can let me know. Because im fine. Like so fine…. Okay, bye.”

And with that, he passes out on the sofa, spilling wine on his rug that he will be forced to scrub tomorrow.

///////

It's 7 a.m., and Matty's head is banging, so much so it sounds like someone is hammering on his door. Oh, wait. Someone is hammering on his door.

He stumbles off the sofa and catches a glance in the mirror, his eyes are hollowed, and heavy bags sit beneath them. Half his curls are flattened and stuck to his head, whereas the others are sticking on end like he had been electrocuted. 

“Ye-” he starts to speak as he opens the door, but you storm in talking before he can even get one word out. 

“BREAK UP WITH YOU? WHY WOULD I BREAK UP WITH YOU?” You stand in Matty’s front room with your hands on your hips. clearly, you had stormed straight over here from your flat, not even bothering to get out of your Halloween pyjamas (it is like May btw <3).

Matty rubs at his eyes and blinks a few times, “what?” he asks, coughing as he finishes because Jesus Christ, his throat feels like it's full of sandpaper. 

“...do you seriously not remember?” you shake your head at Matty with wide eyes, and he nervously shakes his head, and he swears he can almost see the steam coming out of your ears. 

“Matty. You called me at 3 in the morning telling me to dump you. Why the fuck would you think that? Why would I ever dump you?” your voice is softer now and you've come closer to Matty, and he can see any rage you might have had was never really anger.

It was fear. Pure fucking fear. 

“Oh.. that,” Matty says shyly, rubbing at his face and pulling it down. 

“Yup. that,” you say, crossing your arms over your chest.

“Okay, im so sorry about that,” Matty starts to explain, desperate to get you to understand his fucking crazy brain, “I had a few bottles of wine and my stupid anxiety took over. You hadn't really spoken to me this week, and you cancelled our date, so I convinced myself you were having second thoughts. And drunk Matty thought the best course of action was a long rambling voicemail reassuring you that you can dump me.”

You nod slowly, and Matty seemingly can't stop his word vomit, “And you can if you want to! But I really don't want you to. Like at all. Im actually kind of obsessed with you, if im honest” Matty steps closer to you and pulls you into his chest. 

Your arms remain limp at your sides for the first few seconds, and Matty wants to die. But just before he pulls away, your arms slip over his shoulders, and your fingers wind into his curls at the back of his neck.

You burrow your head in his neck, and Matty can feel you nodding, “Okay. That makes sense” he breathes a sigh of relief. Thank GOD you didn't dump him then and there. 

You snap back and look at him intensely before saying, “But just so you know, I was planning for parent's evening this whole week. That's why I was so quiet. And I would never break up with you just by ghosting you. And if im being totally honest, I would never break up with you in the first place. or ever, really."

Matty nods and can't help the smile that comes on his face, you don't want to break up with him. ever.

You snap your fingers in front of his face before he can get too happy, “Hey don't you start smiling. I’m still pissed off at you… but you are especially cute in the mornings, so I feel you’re trying to manipulate me into forgiving you... are you?”

“Well that depends, is it working?” he teases

“Maybe... Shut up.”

[pink-sparkly-witch]

The One That Got Away - Chapter Sixteen

Warnings: language, angst.

Pairing: Firefighter!Dean Winchester x Female Reader

Word count: 2.2k

A/N: I didn’t have a beta for this, so all mistakes are mine.

You can catch up here!

 My Masterlist AO3    Ko-Fi

Another three weeks had passed, and Y/N willed their bad luck wouldn’t strike again tonight. Their last attempt at a second date saw her bedridden with the flu and doubly miserable at another failed attempt to rekindle a relationship with Dean. He had been understanding and told her to rest and drink plenty of fluids, but she knew he must be just as frustrated as she was that Lady Luck seemed to have abandoned all hope on their second chance.

Today though, Y/N felt fit and healthy, Dean wasn’t on shift, and she was spending hers in an empty office catching up on paperwork and overtime claims. She’d instructed her staff to only disturb her if it was absolutely necessary. If things finally went their way, neither should be stuck or injured at work this time, and that thought gave her hope that this would finally be it.

Dean was full of nervous energy and decided the best way to use it up was to give Baby a long overdue tune-up, clean and polish. It was perfect timing, too, because then she would be looking her best when he took Y/N out to the fanciest restaurant Lawrence had to offer, and by the time he was finished, he’d be a few hours closer to his date with Y/N; it was a win-win.

He wasn’t surprised she’d gotten sick and had to cancel last time. The whole day fate hadn’t been working in his favour, so when her text came through, it was the cherry on top of what had been a really fucking shitty day. When he called her later to see how she was, she sounded dreadful, and he’d immediately offered to come over and look after her. Y/N declined, saying all that would achieve was him getting sick too, and then their date would have to be postponed for even longer.

Knowing Y/N was working today made him a little apprehensive that something would crop up at the last second and force another rain check. Still, he was trying to keep that niggling thought buried. And so, with a coffee-filled travel mug, Dean made his way outside with his tools and got to work sprucing up his second best girl.

Her message came in at 4pm.

Y/NCheck the news. I’m so sorry, De xx

Dean closed his eyes in frustration and huffed loudly at their atrocious luck. Turning on the news, he watched the aftermath of an overturned lorry on the freeway, blocking the road in both directions and multiple vehicles colliding with it or other vehicles.

“So far,” the news anchor reported, “there have been five fatalities and over twenty people with injuries of varying severity, and several people are still trapped in their vehicles. Emergency workers are doing all they can to free them, with relief crews being called in to assist.

“Meanwhile, Lawrence Memorial Hospital is nearing its emergency patient capacity and has set up an outdoor triage area for the walking wounded, keeping the hospital building free for those with more serious injuries that need attending to.”

His cell rang shortly after, and Dean was only briefly disappointed that it wasn’t Y/N. He knew she’d be swamped, and he probably wouldn’t hear from her until everyone from the accident had been treated. Still, he had a sliver of hope that it might’ve been her.

“Bobby, I just saw the news,” Dean answered the call.

“So you know why I’m calling?” Bobby said, his question rhetorical. “I’m sorry to ask you to work when you’re supposed to have plans tonight…”

“It’s fine. Y/N’s on shift and already sent me a text cancelling. It’ll be all hands on deck at the hospital, so I might as well come in. At least it’ll stop me from drowning my sorrows,” Dean chuckled sadly.

“I’m sorry, Dean. I’m sure you’ll get that date soon,” Bobby replied, but right now, that wasn’t much comfort to the younger man.

“I’m starting to think we should just cut our losses. Maybe something’s trying to tell us something,” Dean scoffed.

“Dean-”

“I’m on my way. I’ll be there in ten,” Dean cut in, not feeling in the mood to hear another person say how perfect they were for each other when the simple task of going on a date seemed impossible.

It would be a long night, but at least he’d have work to keep him from spiralling down the self-depreciation hole he usually did when Y/N had to cancel plans.

With all trapped persons rescued and the accident site secured by police and awaiting cleanup, Dean’s Firehouse had been posted to the triage area at the hospital to help wherever possible. They were giving first aid, handing out food and water, and checking up on patients in the hospital on behalf of concerned family and friends who were outside waiting for news of their loved ones.

He’d even got to speak to Y/N briefly a few times, and those little moments of light in what was otherwise a dark situation had kept his spirits up. And now that the last few patients were being treated, he finally felt he could breathe easier. Maybe, he’d even be able to convince Y/N to go for a bite to eat before they both went home and slept.

Trawling through the hospital’s hallways, Dean’s only focus was finding the nurse who was slowly taking hold of his heart again and taking up most of his thoughts since coming back to town. He almost missed her as he turned another corner and walked down another corridor.

Stepping back to the room he’d just passed, Dean paused at the window, praying he was wrong and that the woman sitting on the floor, arms crossed over her legs and head on her knees, wasn’t Y/N. Opening the door and quietly stepping into the room, his heart ached at the realisation that it was her and that the usually strong and kept-together nurse was in tears.

“Hey, Princess, what’s the matter?” Dean asked, making his way over and crouching in front of her. Y/N looked at him, eyes red and puffy, her cheeks wet with tears, and he threw all caution to the wind as he sat beside her, pulled her into his lap, and wrapped his arms around her.

They remained embraced on the floor for a while before Y/N’s tears stopped, and she’d stopped gasping in shallow breaths between her heartwrenching sobs. Dean was at a loss on what to do at first, but then he remembered that this was Y/N. His Y/N. And though she was stronger than she looked and more capable than people gave her credit for, sometimes the only way she could process her emotions was to cry.

“Sorry, I needed that,” Y/N eventually spoke and wiped at her eyes. “Days like this, when we lose so many people, never get easier to process. Sometimes I just need a little time to cry it all out.”

“No need to explain to me, Princess. I’ve known you my whole life, and I know that if you don’t let it out now, it’ll eat away at you and eventually consume you. I’ll always be here to ground you whenever you feel like that, alright?”

“Thank, De,” she sniffled and smiled softly at him. “I suppose we should get back out there, huh?”

“In a few minutes. The last patients are being treated, and Ellen, Jody, and Bobby have called a staff briefing at 5am. We’ve got a little time to calm you down some more,” Dean kissed her forehead and smiled, wrapping his arms around her a little tighter and pulling her into his body a little closer.

After urging everyone who’d gathered for the briefing in the hospital canteen to have something to eat before they went home, Dr Ellen Harvelle, Charge Nurse Rowena Macleod, Sheriff Jody Mills, and Fire Chief Bobby Singer thanked their staff for the exceptional job they’d all done in the face of such tragedy and dismissed them from their duties. Reserve police officers and firefighters had started their shifts early to allow those who’d worked all night to go home and rest.

The doctors, nurses and hospital staff who’d been on shift when the accident happened or been called in as backup would be relieved by those who’d either volunteered to stay and work a double shift or agreed to come in on a rest day.

Dean got to have breakfast with Y/N after all, but they were joined by Benny, Bobby, and Jody. He couldn’t complain, though, as he saw the smile come back to Y/N’s face as she talked to Jody and playfully rolled her eyes at Benny’s southern charm and blatant flirting. Dean didn’t rise to the Cajun’s bait, knowing that was exactly what he wanted.

“Now, I know you’re a workaholic, Y/N, but please tell me you didn’t volunteer to stay on?” Uncle Bobby asked with the stern look that never made her listen to him when she was a child and certainly wouldn’t make her listen to him now.

“No, I didn’t. I’ve been working for…” Y/N glanced at the fob watch attached to her scrub top pocket, “twenty-three and half hours. If I stay any longer, I would be endangering the patients, particularly because I haven’t had a break, let alone any sleep.”

“Good. You look like death warmed up,” Bobby stated before shovelling a forkful of scrambled eggs into his mouth.

“Yeah…” Y/N sighed and rubbed a hand down her face. “I feel like it too.”

“Go home, honey, before you fall asleep at the table!” Jody chuckled, and Y/N responded with a lopsided smile before grabbing the empty plate and used cutlery and standing from her seat.

“Alright, I’m going! Uncle Bobby, Jody, I’ll see you Sunday. Benny, it was nice to see you again,” she smiled tiredly at the blue-eyed man.

“You too, cher. Take care of yourself, you hear?” Benny winked at her before digging back into his breakfast.

Dean stood and lifted his used dishes and walked with her to place them on the counter, which was home to all the used crockery. “You doing okay, Y/N?”

“Yeah, nothing a hot shower and a decent sleep won’t fix,” she smiled.

“Alright. Call me later, once you’ve had some sleep?” Dean asked with a raised brow.

“Of course,” she smiled. “I hope you’re going home to get some sleep too?”

“Yeah, we’ll probably have another debrief back at the firehouse, then, I am going home and crawling straight into bed,” he chuckled at her smile of approval and with a final farewell, Y/N left the hospital canteen, grabbed her purse from her locker and went home to sleep.

Waking up hours later when the sun had gone down, Y/N lay in bed trying to process everything that had happened the past few days. It was always tragic when they lost a patient, and serious incidents like yesterday were awful and never got easier to deal with. In moments like this, it was easier to think of the tens of patients they saved than the six they had lost.

The next thing to cross her mind was Dean. Y/N had been glad he was posted at the hospital because she was really starting to miss him. The first couple of times they couldn’t go on their date, she’d still been able to see him, but she hadn’t seen him in twelve days because she’d been so ill with flu, and she didn’t want Dean to see her like that. Sure, it might have been extremely vain of her to think that way, but she felt it was too soon to be at her absolute worst with him.

Y/N was also disappointed that things kept coming up. Granted, neither of them had chosen what happened to stall progress on their budding relationship. No one could’ve predicted her father would die right after their first date and put any thought of another date onto the back burner for weeks.

Neither of them could’ve guessed that Jess would need to finish work early and Y/N would need to be the one to take her shift, nor could Dean or her have done anything to stop Cas from getting injured on a call. And there was no way either could have foreseen what happened yesterday, resulting in them having to work.

Suddenly, she had an overwhelming pang in her chest and a strong urge to be with him, to say to hell with the fates, dates, plans, and schedules. She just needed to be with him. Needed him.

Knowing Dean wouldn’t be working after pulling an all-night shift, Y/N threw the bed covers off her body and showered. She was going to go over. Who needed a date anyway? She and Dean had been on hundreds of those and, she hoped, would go on hundreds more.

This was no longer about want for Y/N. It was about need.

Next Chapter >>

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[to-thelakes]

the missed dinner date

pairing; dinah madani x fem!reader

summary; after a long day, you just wanted to see dinah and go out with her but her job got in the way.

warnings; angst, hurt/comfort, domestic fluff, missed dinner date, anxious reader

notes; i was in a massively angsty mood so here's an angsty dinah madani one-shot. she does not get enough love in the fandom and i wanted her to get some love. i didn't really want it to be angsty to start but the angst goblin has been out in full-force lately so here it is. i hope you all enjoy and if her characterisation isn't perfect then i do apologise because i found it so difficult to get it right. BUT please enjoy this little (or well 3k one-shot hehe) <3

masterlist

When you had first seen Dinah’s apartment, you had been surprised by how pretty it was. The blue walls and kitchen cabinets contrasted beautifully with the marble counters and gray wood walls in the rest of the apartment. Everything looked perfect, organized, pretty, just like Dinah. Her couch was the comfiest thing you had - and probably would ever - sit on and you were pretty sure the apartment cost double your rent. Not even mentioning how expensive the furniture would have been. You couldn’t imagine living this well.

But Dinah did and it showed. Her clothes were always the highest quality, she held herself with a grace and poise that made you feel small and she smelled like French Vanilla all over; her hair, her clothes, her skin. It was the first thing you noticed when you met her. That smell was addicting and her apartment smelt exactly the same. It was like her presence had seeped into every piece of furniture and the walls. You loved it. 

And as you sat on her comfy couch, dressed up pretty for your date with her, you could smell the vanilla. It soothed the anxiety thumping through your chest. 

Dinah had given you a key to her apartment a few weeks ago. It was for times like this when she knew that she was going to be a little later than usual finishing with work but still wanted to spend every second with you. So, she wanted you to be waiting for her at home. You loved that. It made you feel wanted, it made you feel loved. Dinah made you feel loved even if she was a generally quite stoic and closed-off woman.

However, everything that you felt towards Dinah didn’t stop the frown that began to spread on your lips despite your attempts to fight it off. 

Dinah was supposed to have been back from work already. You were meant to be going out for dinner together but she wasn’t here. You were sitting in her apartment, dressed pretty for her and she wasn’t here. You should have been angry but you didn’t have the heart.

The rational part of you knew that her not being here probably wasn’t her fault. Work was busy and with everything that was going on - that Sam had very briefly told you about - you weren’t exactly surprised about her having to stay in late. Though, she could have told you. She knew you. You wouldn’t have been upset.

It could have just been a text message or a 20 second phone call. You didn’t expect a grand explanation. Just some warning. Instead, you had to watch as the clock ticked and she didn’t walk through the day at 6:30 like she had promised. And you stayed there, watching as the time ticked closer and closer to your dinner reservation which was going to go unused.

It was ten minutes before your reservation time that you called up the restaurant and told them to cancel the reservation, profusely apologising for such a late notice. The host you had spoken to on the phone had tried to be kind, asking if you just wanted to push it back but you knew that Dinah wasn’t going to make it. 

So, you politely asked if they could cancel it and wished them a good night. It was embarrassing enough that you had dressed up nicely for her to not be here. You didn’t want to have to call the restaurant again when she didn’t show up later.

And the time that you should have been at dinner ticked by and Dinah still wasn’t here. Your gut twisted, your eyes burned with unshed tears but you didn’t have the energy to cry. 

It had already been a long day and part of you wanted to go home but that would make you feel worse. At least in Dinah’s apartment, you were surrounded by her presence, her smell. It soothed the sting a little. Plus, being in Dinah’s apartment meant that you could see her whenever she finally made it home.

That just didn’t seem to be happening. It was 9pm that you gave up hope of salvaging any of your dinner plans. You glanced down at yourself and swallowed the lump in your throat. You had put on the dress that she loved, done full glam make-up for the first time in weeks, picked yourself up after a very long day and all of it had been for nothing. 

You dragged yourself up from the couch after another few minutes and headed straight to the bathroom. You knew where Dinah’s make-up cleanser and cotton pads were so you grabbed them and began to take your make-up off. 

You had done your hair so fucking pretty for her too and as you stared at yourself, wiping make-up away, you felt stupid. It was illogical because you and Dinah were together. Of course you would want to look pretty for her but it felt like wasted effort. You continued to wipe away the make-up, using each cotton pad until it was caked in make-up before throwing it away and starting a new one. It wasn’t long until you were bare-faced again.

The tiredness was evident on your features and you ran your fingers across your face before you dropped your shoulders. 

You were very thankful that you had left clothes in Dinah’s wardrobe and so you pulled the zipper down on your dress as you walked to the bedroom. You pulled the wardrobe open and grabbed your pajamas. You shimmied the dress down and off yourself as you swallowed the lump in your throat again. 

It was as you were tugging your pajama top on that you heard the apartment door open and close. You heard Dinah sigh but you didn’t call out to her. Instead, you just slipped the pajama pants on and walked over to her bed, pushing the covers back.

Her mattress was on the firmer side but you had learned to love it. It felt comforting against you and you nuzzled your face into the pillow, closing your eyes. You could hear Dinah clattering around in the kitchen. You didn’t know what she was doing but you could only assume that she was looking for food to make.

“Shit,” You heard her say and then you heard her heels clicking against the floor. It was silent for a few minutes before your phone began to ring from the living room where you’d left it. 

More heels clicking and then the phone stopped ringing but the bedroom door pushed open. Dinah stood there and she spotted you even in the gloom.

“You’re still here?” Dinah asked. You opened your eyes, looking over at her. You nodded, not really feeling like saying anything, “I’m sorry,” She said. It was rare that Dinah came out and apologized straight away but it made you feel a little better.

“What happened?” You asked, pushing yourself to sit up against the headboard. Dinah glanced back at the kitchen before she walked the rest of the way into the bedroom and to the bed where you were, “I guessed that it was work, canceled the reservation but didn’t want to go home. Thought that I might see you if I stayed.” Dinah’s face twisted in guilt and she glanced away for a moment before she sat down on the bed, shuffling closer to you.

“Did you eat?” Dinah asked. You shook your head, “I’ll make us something?” She asked, though it was more of a statement. You nodded and she slipped off the bed. You followed after her to the kitchen as she shed the blazer, throwing it onto the sofa. Part of you wanted her to explain herself but you knew that she would talk when she wanted to and so rather than pushing, you sat on the breakfast bar stool while Dinah grabbed the ingredients to cook.

You just watched her, equal parts comforted and saddened by her presence. Why couldn’t she have just been here a few hours ago? It would have been a perfect night. It would have made how long your day had been worth it. Your stomach growled as she switched the stove on.

“Frank Castle called me,” Dinah said after a beat of silence. Your eyebrows furrowed, “He had some intel and I needed to follow it.” You nodded along. Frank and Dinah had a long history, you were aware of that. He had saved her life last year, twice, and although you knew he was a morally questionable guy, you were thankful for that but you didn’t understand why she trusted him enough to follow his intel. Didn’t he want to hurt her?

“Did you find what you needed?” You asked, resting your cheek against the heel of your hand, watching as she cut up the vegetables on the chopping board.

“No.” You frowned at her bluntness, “They cleared out before I got there.” She sounded frustrated, an edge to her tone. That made sense why she wasn’t injured, “Castle probably scared them off.” You crossed your arms over your chest, shifting to rest back against the stool.

“I’m sure you’ll find them,” You responded, shrugging. Dinah nodded and she continued to cut through onions before she threw them into a pan.

“It was the best intel I’ve gotten in weeks and it was a bust,” She continued, the frustration seeping into her tone, “I don’t understand how they can stay so under the radar. They’ve never been subtle before now.” You sighed. Of course, you wanted her to be able to talk about her day but the fact that she hadn’t even acknowledged that her useless lead had made her miss her date with her girlfriend bugged you. As much as you wanted to be supportive, you were also tired and you wanted to go to sleep.

“I think I’m gonna head to sleep,” You said as you slipped off the breakfast bar. You really didn’t want to have this conversation right now.

“Hey,” Dinah turned around, stirring the onions but watching you. You stopped, glancing back at her, “You need to eat,” She stated. You shrugged.

“I’m not hungry.” Dinah scoffed and put the spoon in the pan before she took it off the heat and walked over to you. She grabbed your hip and twisted you around to face her. You avoided her gaze and she narrowed her eyes, searching your face, “Dinah, just let me go to sleep. It’s been a really long day and I’m tired.” Her eyebrows furrowed even further at the complete lack of a pet name.

“I didn’t want to miss dinner. I had to follow the intel,” She was making excuses for herself and you took a hold of her wrist, gently pushing her hand away. You really didn’t want to have this conversation with her, “I know you talked to Sam about the case so you know how important this is to me.” You sighed, feeling the lump form in your throat.

“I know it’s important, Dinah. But when you walked through that door, I wanted to see my girlfriend, not Agent Dinah Madani,” You stated. Dinah turned her head away, thinking and you felt the tears spring to your eyes. You and Dinah rarely fought. It was easy with her, most of the time, but you really needed her and you had made plans but she wasn’t there. The one time you just wanted a little bit of comfort or time with her, she wasn’t there. 

And the longer that she stayed silent, trying to work out how to approach this the worse you felt, “I’ve had a really long day so if you don’t know what to say, I’d rather just go to sleep and talk about it in the morning.” Dinah shook her head.

“I’ve started cooking so, tell me what happened today, and I’ll finish,” She said, moving her hands to cup your cheeks. Her hands tilted your face so that you were looking into her eyes and you couldn’t deny those brown eyes. It was like the whole world was hidden inside them and when you looked at her, everything made sense again.

“Okay,” You mumbled. Dinah smiled and leant forward, kissing your forehead before she stepped back. You followed her back to the kitchen and pulled yourself to sit on the counter while she went back to cooking.

“Tell me,” She encouraged as she continued on with the recipe that she had memorized.

“I woke up in a really bad mood this morning and the traffic was worse than normal so I got to work a few minutes late. That just meant that my micromanaging bitch fucking co-worker was on my ass all day about the project deadline and my manager wasn’t in so I couldn’t even get the heat off my ass. And I had to work through my lunch break because Brent fucking left last week without any notice. So, I’ve had to take the brunt of his work load which I didn’t want to but it was either that or lose my job and as much as I could sue them for wrongful termination and I’d have proof, I really just don’t have the energy to deal with that. And I got home and I was so tired but I was seeing you. So, I really tried. I wanted to look good but that was fucking pointless. You weren’t even here to see me and we didn’t go out so I wasted all the energy for fucking nothing and I just wished I didn’t have to go to work tomorrow,” You were venting and the second you were done you felt somewhat better. Dinah just listened, taking everything in and when she was done, she turned back to you. There was a frown on her lips and she gestured for you to come over to her, “It’s not your fault you had work but I just felt like I wasted energy I didn’t have and all I wanted was to see you,” You mumbled as you slid off the counter and walked over to her. Dinah tugged you into her side, holding you against her side with one arm while the other continued to stir the sauce that she had created.

You curled your arms around her, burying your face into the side of her and she leant over, pressing a kiss to the top of your head. The tension released from your shoulders a bit and she kissed your hair again before she continued to hold you and stir. The smell of French Vanilla filled your nostrils as you kept her close. It comforted you, smelling it on her directly.

“I’m sorry I missed dinner,” She said. You muttered a soft ‘thank you for apologizing’, “If you want to do it again this week, I can book us a reservation or we can do something else,” She proposed. The thought of doing anything with Dinah this week sounded appealing.

“Can we just stay here and watch movies?” You asked softly. Dinah pressed a kiss to your head.

“If that’s what you want to do, yes,” She responded. You grinned and tilted your head up to kiss her cheek. She smiled down at you.

“Can I have a proper kiss?” You requested. She rolled her eyes.

“Of course you can,” She stated before leaning in and kissing you on the lips. It was the first time you had kissed her all day and you were so glad to just be near her. You practically melted into her and she pecked your lips a few more times before pulling back, “Go sit down, I’ll bring it over,” She mumbled. You nodded and slipped out of her arms and over to the couch where you dragged the coffee table a little closer to you so that you didn’t have to reach for your food or water. 

And as you sat down, Dinah added the pasta to the sauce before stirring it up, adding some cheese and plating it for the two of you. The two of you ate in comfortable silence, watching the late night show that was on as you both enjoyed slowing down and relaxing for the first time all night.

[beaker1636]

So no clue where this came from but it just happened like a month ago and I haven’t had the guts to post it yet but my friend Paige keeps telling me to soooo here’s a very smutty Chris fic.

Please be gentle, I don’t write smut at all, this is my first attempt. And I absolutely hate it despite paige and another friend saying it was really good. Also sorry if formatting gets fucked up, I type these on my laptop but can’t remember my tumblr password so I cut and paste it from a document on my phone into tumble so sometimes it gets wonky.

“Hey baby, I am sorry but things are not going how I wanted so I will be done late, we will have to move our date to another night. As soon as we finish this song I will come to your place and we can watch a movie or something,” you read the message from your boyfriend Chris for a second time, your mood instantly dropping.

This is the third time he has had to cancel date night in the last couple weeks that he has been home so that they can continue working on the new album at night. You understand that this is what he does for a living but you are getting really tired of this happening all the time. Honestly, it is making you start to feel like you arent important to him and that maybe he doesn’t want you around as much as he used to.

You sign, before responding to him. ‘Okay, don’t worry about coming over tonight if you are going to be late, you can go home and rest so that you are ready to work tomorrow.”

You get a response rather quickly, catching you off guard. “I want to come see you, I feel like we haven’t had any time together with both of our jobs.”

That message is what finally breaks you, that makes you snap and let out all your frustration in one strongly worded message that you send back.

“And that is somehow my fucking fault, YOU are the one who has cancelled on me yet again. Go fuck yourself, I don’t even want to see you tonight now,” you type out, fighting tears of frustration that are threatening to fall as you hit send.

You quickly shut your phone off and throw it on your living room table so that you don’t have to see what his response is. You had a rough day at work and really needed to be with him tonight but that doesn’t matter anymore, nothing matters anymore.

Storming off to the bathroom you start to wash your face of your makeup, its just going to get ruined when you eventually stress cry, which you know is going to happen. You also say fuck it and change into pajamas, theres no reason to be dressed up just to spend the night alone in your apartment.

You follow this all up with getting a large glass of wine before going to your room with your new romance book to read and drink your feelings away, hoping that it would give you a much needed distraction so that you don’t spend your night sulking about your fight with Chris.

About an hour later it has worked, you are so drawn into the story that you don’t hear your front door open rather hashly, nor do you hear the footsteps leading to your bedroom until your bedroom door slams open.

You look up and gulp when your eyes lock with Chris’, his eyes showing you very quickly just how pissed off he currently is.

“This is seriously what you have been doing while ignoring my texts and calls? Reading a book?” He seethes, glaring at you to the point you are uncomfortable and glance away.

Fighting the tears that are now threatening to fall down your cheeks, you decide to be quiet for a minute to think about what you want to say.

“Maybe if you actually made time for me and didn’t always put me second I wouldn’t want to ignore you.” You finally say, quietly, feeling rather small in the moment. You hate confrontation so to know that Chris is upset with you really has you anxious.

“You know we are recording and have deadlines we have to meet, I can’t just leave in the middle of a song,” He spits out, growing more frustrated.

Feeling like Chris isn’t even listening to you and not wanting to get yelled at even more you decide to go back to reading your book, this conversation can be finished once he has calmed down some.

This is the last straw for Chris however, who is not going to let you continue to ignore him. He storms over to your bed and quickly rips the book out of your hands in annoyance, his eyes scanning the text on the page that you currently had the book opened to.

“Seriosuly, you are ignoring me so that you can read about other people fucking eachother?” His eyes darken as they scan your face, watching for your reaction.

Finally having enough of his tantrum yourself you finally crack. “Yeah, I am. It could have been us if you would actually show up for a fucking date.”

If he wants to fight then fine, you will fight back. He doesn’t get to be a dick when it is his fucking fault that you are upset and fighting right now. You match his glare, not wanting to be the one to back down at this point, too riled up to give in. But slowly his glare turns into a smirk, and he makes his way to the other side of your bed, climbing in next to you.

“You want to read your book so bad, fine. Read it, out loud,” he challenges, thrusting your book back into your hands.

“What? No I…. I can’t. That just, what? No Chris,” you struggle to come up with a coherent response, feeling awkward and honestly embarrassed at the thought of reading out such a dirty scene out loud in front of him.

“Why not? You seem like you have plenty to say tonight, so come on. Put your words to good use and read it to me,” he teases you. Chris knows that if he pushes you enough that you will do exactly what he asks you to, because you always do.

“Ugh fine,” you grumble.

You know Chris well enough to know that he is playing some kind of game with you but what exactly? You aren’t sure.

“‘You’re already so wet for me,” he whispers, his tongue running flat alone the darkening marks along your neck. He drags his fingers up the length of your heat’”.

You cut off suddenly with a gasp as Chris slips a hand inside your pajamas and your panties to do what you just read to you, removing the garments from your body.

“Keep reading, you wanted to ignore me for your book so bad so lets see if you actually can,” his voice grows deep as he continues to tease you.

You suck in a shakey deep breath before you continue.

“‘What do you want me to do to you,” he asks, your thighs shifting around his wrist. “Hmm?’

‘To touch me,’ you whisper, your voice barely audible in the quiet room.

‘You’re going to have to be more specific,’ he informs you. ‘And aren’t you forgetting something?’

‘Sir?’

‘Much better.’ He nod his head and you withhold a sigh, you’re never going to remember that. Before you can utter another word, two thick fingers are inside of you, you being wet enough to where he has very little resistance as he thrusts them knuckle deep.’”

You hesitate, swallowing as you try not to make a sound as Chris yet again does what you just read. You don’t want to give that cocky bastard the satisifation of knowing what he is currently doing to you.

He stops moving, glaring at you again. “You stop reading, I stop touching you.”

“‘ He pulls his hand back enough only to thrust them back inside you roughly, causing a deep whine to leave your throat at the sting of pain and pleasure, shivers immediately crawling up your spine.

He pulls away slightly, watching you under a heavy lidded gaze as his fingers continue to thrust into you, rough, forceful and unforgiving…”

You cut off, finally giving into Chris, whispering fuck this, throwing your book onto your bedside tabe before grabbing the collar of his shirt and pulling him in for a kiss.

He resists, not giving you the kiss that you are craving so desperately.

“I always get what I want,” he says with a chuckle. “And don’t think that after the way you spoke to me that I am going to let you cum that easily.”

You try to hide your disappointment when his fingers leave where you need them most.

“Now clean up the mess you made,” he demands, holding his hand infront of your face.

You learn forward, taking his two fingers between your lips, tasting yourself. You decide to take your time to make sure you actually get them cleaning, hoping that maybe if you do what he says that you will get what you want from him. He removes them, resting them on your lower lip.

“Good girl, now tell me, how bady do you want me y/n?” He asks, his eyes meeting yours.

“Badly, please Chris,” you whine, deperate for him to touch you again, to take care of the ache that he has created.

He slides your shirt off, smiling at the fact that you had already taken your bra off when you changed, leaving you bare as he stands up.

“Then how about you show me how much you actuary want me,” he commands, making you shiver at his tone of voice. “Get on your knees for me baby.”

You don’t hesitate to get up and do just as you were told. Reaching out to open the button and slowly slide the zipper down on his jean before tugging them and his boxers down in one movement, his hard cock finally free much to his relief.

He tugs your hair harshly, pulling you forward and silently urging you to do something, anything, just as desperate as you are for what is to come.

You wrap your hand around the base of his shaft before running your tongue along the underside, only to then teasingly lick around his head tasting the pre-cum there before dipping lower, not missing any of his length.

“Stop teasing,” he groans at your actions, growing frustrated as you continue to do so. You want your revenge for him doing just that to you earlier.

You can’t help but smirk up at him, glad that you could make him crave you just as much as he makes you crave him.

Finally you decide he has had enough and take him into your mouth, slowly lowering as your hands strokes what you can’t quite take. He tugs on your hair to make you look up at him as you hollow your cheeks and start to actually bob your head, ready to drive him crazy like he does to you. His eyes meet yours as you take him even deeper.

“Fuck, I love how great you are with your mouth,” he groans, knowing that the praise always motivates you, makes you work harder in hopes of receiving more of it.

He starts to pull on your hair, taking control away from you as he urges you to go faster. You gladly let him, loving that he is making you do what he wants, taking what he wants from you with no restraint.

He groans, pushing deeper, your eyes watering as you keep swallowing around him, trying not to choke as he gets rougher and rougher with you.

His eyes close as he leans back slightly, letting you deep throat him as he shudders, getting right to the edge. After a moment his grip on your hair tightens again as he pulls you away from his throbbing cock, you gasping for breath.

“Get on the bed, hands and knees for me baby,” he growls as he helps you up, pulling his shirt off as you crawl on the bed, looking over your shoulder at him.

You tense in anticipation when he climbs up behind you, pulling you back towards him by your hips and making you both groan at the friction that it creates. His hands pull you up by your hair o that your back is pressed against his chest, leaving kisses that trail form your neck to your ear.

“I’m about to fuck you, hard,” he whispers as he reaches around, cupping your breasts before pinching your nipples which makes you jerk back into him, causing the much craved friction between you both again.

You fail to fully process his word as all you can think about is your want, no your need to finally cum.

He gives you a kiss before letting you go, you falling back on your hands as he enjoys the view of your ass and the fact he is able to have his way with you without you putting up much a fight.

He can see just how wet you are as it glistens in the dim light from your lamp. It pleases him to know how much he can make you crave and need his touch, that only he can do this to you.

He cam tell that you are growing impatient as his fingers make their way to your hips yet again.

“I bet you still want me to go home, don’t you,” he murmurs, not wanting to give you what you want just yet.

You glare over your shoulder at him, barely holding on to what little resolve you still have left, not wanting to give him the satisfaction of knowing just how badly you actually crave him.

“Use your words y/n, I want to hear you beg for me before I even consider touching you. You wanted to use them so badly to get me to leave earlier” he demands of you, harshly thowing back your words from earlier in your face.

You still refuse to answer, which just frustrates Chris, so he harshly smacks your ass, instantly making you whine at the sting.

“I still don’t hear you.”

“Oh come on, you can clearly tell how much I fucking want you. Just fuck me already,” you groan, annoyed that he is making you do this. Any other time you don’t mind begging but the angry part of you is still holding on weakly, making you want to put up a little more fight that usual.

“Good girl, thats more like it,” wraping his fingers around himself, practically pulsing from how close you had him with your mouth.

Without warning he roughly enters you, making you gasp in surprise. You press your face in your arm, jaw clenching at the sudden sting from the action.

He starts out rather slowly, deciding that he is still going to tease you before he finally starts to get rougher and rougher with each thrust, pulling your body back to meet his with each movement.

You lose your breath and close your eyes as you get closer and closer to the edge. Enjoying that he is being so forceful that it almost hurts, loving this new and rougher side of Chris that you have not seen before.

He’s slamming into you with no restraint, pulling you right to the edge but still not giving you enough to actually cum yet, the need tormenting you at how close you are.

His fingers slip around your waist to tour clit, making you cry out from the pleasure as he enjoys the sight of the bruises forming on your hips from the hold he just had on them.

You suddenly clench around him, making him groan.

“Please, Chris, I’m” you cut yourself off, not able to finish what you are saying as you beg him for your release, knowing that the only way he would give it to you is if you do.

“Fine, cum,” he demands as he presses his body down into yours on the mattress. “Cum.”

You finally do, your vision going a bit blurry as you cry out, loud enough that Chris secretly hopes that your neighbors have heard you.

His rhythm slowly becomes erratic as he can’t take it anymore and spills himself inside you with a low groan “fuck”.

His arms slip around you as you both go limp, him gently rolling you over onto your back as you lay there for a few moments, catching your breath, still pressed together as you lowly regain control of yourselves.

He slowly pulls away, gently helping you get more comfortable as you let out a sign in exhaustion. You barely notice that he left the room until he returns with a damp washcloth, helping you clean up the mess that you both let on your now very sore thighs.

“y/n, do you need anything? Are you alright?” he asks after he finishes, laying down next to you in the bed, pulling you into his arms and bruising your damp hair out of your face.

You nod, not quite ready to answer his question.

He gives you a very gentle kiss, almost as an apology before speaking.

“I’m sorry I haven’t had much time for you, I promise that I will take tomorrow off to spend with you, just us,” he says softly, toying with your hair in the way that he knows you love.

“Thank you,” is all that you mange to get out, not feeling like any other words need to be said as you oth lay there, slowly falling asleep next to eachother, glad that the fight has ended.

[allinthemagicshop]

We'll Fix This

I'm new to posting my writings so be gentle please.

FelixSKZxF!Reader

Angst, no warnings (I don't think, let me know if there should be for future reference)

This is a complete work of fiction originally written for a friend, I do not own rights to anything about Stray Kids. This is just a fun pastime for me.

Falling in love with someone is the easy part. The feeling of letting yourself slip into the comfort of someone’s presence and finding a new home within them takes little effort. Smiling at every interaction with someone is effortless. Recognizing their little mannerisms as endearing qualities is a breeze. Loving yourself more when they build you up is second nature. Smothering each other in love is like breathing. Realizing that the little things you fell in love with are now constantly irritating you is the hard part. It’s been 3 years since you and Felix started dating and loving him was the easiest thing you’ve ever done. Until it wasn’t.

Another comeback, another tour, and another period of repeating that “distance makes the heart grow fonder” to get through it. Only this time, you don’t have the belief behind those words. The last couple of days before a tour are always spent together, cuddling and promising that your love will keep this relationship going. Felix had his arms wrapped tightly around your waist while you threaded your fingers through his hair. Something was definitely different this time, he’s never held you this tight. Too nervous to say anything, you focus on the show you two had decided to finish together. 

“Babe…can we talk?” Felix mumbled against your side, not taking his eyes off the screen. Your hands dropped to your side at his tone. He noticed immediately, yet instead of reassuring you like he has so many times before, he pulled away. “Something has changed,” he looked down at his hands, spinning the rings around his fingers. You couldn’t even form a sentence as you felt your heart harden against what was coming. 

You weren’t stupid, you knew it was coming. The past two months have been filled with more fights than the entire last 3 years. Every time Felix wanted to be cuddly, you would stiffen and find excuses to busy yourself away from him and vice versa.  He would lock himself in the office to play games with Jeongin and Seungmin rather than having the door open for you to lay on the office couch reading or mindlessly scrolling in his presence. Baking nights were nonexistent nowadays. If he wanted to bake, he’d go back to the dorms with the other guys and rarely brought any home back to you. You made elaborate dinners for date nights that would go cold long before he texted that he wouldn’t be home that night as practice had run later or he was going out with the guys. 

Instead of working in tandem, it seemed as if you both were working around each other at opposite poles. 

You had attempted to text Changbin what was going on, only for him to reply with short, uninterested responses saying he didn’t know what you meant. Similar responses came from Hyunjin and Chan. So you stopped asking. He pulled away first and you would return the sentiment. It took about two weeks before Felix started asking your friends if you were okay, only to be met with unanswered or indifferent texts in return. You began canceling date nights in favor of working more or going out with friends instead. Again, another week before he tried asking why you kept canceling. 

The fight that followed landed you where you are now. Always one to resort to physical affection, Felix suggested a silent cuddle night to repair the hurtful words thrown at each other. It was about as expected, tense silence and too many unshared thoughts.

“Felix. Do we even need to talk anymore? You leave in two days again, that gives you a full day to set yourself back into who STAY expect.” He turned his head to you quickly, eyes widening in fear. “I’m not blind, I know something has changed. I tried to tell myself it was just the stress of a new album and tour, but that excuse only goes so far. When your own members start shutting me out with you, it’s a pretty clear sign,” you finished with a forced chuckle. “Although, I am a little disappointed you couldn’t just tell me that your love had faded weeks ago, rather than try to string me along until you could just leave and let it fully fizzle out with the tour as an excuse not to talk to me.” 

Felix fell to the ground in front of you on the couch. “No, no, baby, no. No please you don’t understand, just give me a second to explain. I promise-”

“Promise what? That you didn’t mean to pull out of this relationship? That you didn’t notice the hundreds of texts you’ve left unanswered or the dozens of dates you’ve ditched on? Or how about that you didn’t have me in mind the past two months in any of this?” You swipe your hand under your eyes harshly as you watch his face fall and tears build up.

“Love, don’t do this to me. I had so many things going on since we started this comeback, I didn’t know how to function properly. The boys are just as stressed, please believe me,” he sniffled the last part out, tears falling onto your knees as he knelt over them. He tried to grab onto your hands, but you pulled them back. 

“Felix I-” “No. No stop with the ‘Felix.’ You never call me that. Please, baby. Come back to me.” You just shook your head. “Felix,” you watched as his heart broke in his eyes, you were already gone, he was sure of it. “I can’t do this anymore. We’ve had plenty of comebacks and the last extended tour that we made it through. With communicating. Not by shutting each other out. I’m not going to sit and listen to excuses for you to rationalize why you have been treating me so badly recently. God, Felix, we used to be so good. Until you stopped trying. I don’t think I can listen to the excuses right now. I’m going to head to Yeji’s, please be gone when I get back.” You stood up and grabbed your keys and wallet, brushing past him to get to the door, not even looking back to see him stare after you as the door on your relationship closed with a soft click.

Felix sat there on your floor sobbing, staring after you for nearly 30 minutes before he realized you were right about one thing. He had one day to get himself ready for STAY, but also one day to figure out how this tour was going to fix him so that he could come back to you. Taking a minute to collect himself, he ran through your apartment and gathered all his things he kept at your place. He took off the hoodie he was wearing and buried it deep in your closet, hopeful that you’ll find it when needed, even more hopeful that these next three months on tour would selfishly not be enough time for you to move on. He put the spare key you had given him on the counter before he walked out of your life.

●●●

You walked into your apartment after spending nearly four hours crying into Yeji’s arms. You put up a good front for Felix, hoping that it would make it easier for him to move on if he thought you agreed with his recent feelings. The truth is that you felt like someone had punched into your chest and pulled your heart out. Complete numbness settled over your body as the ache in your chest kept blossoming further out, fogging your mind. You convinced yourself that the pleas from Felix were just for your benefit, not to truly save the relationship. If he had wanted that, he wouldn’t have pulled away months ago with no words or warnings. 

The ache in your chest bloomed into full searing pain when you spotted the spare key on your counter. Running through the apartment, you noticed everything that tied Felix to you was gone. He truly had wanted this, no matter how loudly the little voice in your brain had tried to tell you it was another overreaction on your part. Holding your hand over your mouth, you looked around your bedroom, noticing even his plushies he’d bought you had gone with him. You didn’t even make it to your bed before your legs gave out and sobs tore through your body.

●●●

Felix stepped into the dorm, barely getting the door closed before he fell to the ground, head in his hands. He couldn’t even cry anymore, just shake and feel his heart rip to shreds. He had done this. He knew that you didn’t want this, he could always read you so well, but he wasn’t going to hurt you anymore if he couldn’t fix himself.

Lino poked his head out of the kitchen after he heard the front door click shut. One look at the younger member had him throwing the utensils onto the counter and running to the front entrance. He nearly slid across the floor to grab onto Felix as the younger boy shook. “Yongbok, what happened? Are you hurt? Did you call Chan? SEUNGMIN, GET CHAN HERE NOW. Shhhh, I’ve got you. Talk to me, Felix, you’re scaring me.” The younger boy could only shake his head as he buried himself deeper into the arms of his friend. The other younger members ran in after the shouts, Seungmin already with his phone dialing their leader. When they laid eyes on one of their best friends broken in the entrance, Jeongin began crying and walked over to the scene while Seungmin locked his jaw and told Chan to get to the dorm as soon as possible with the other members, hanging up without explanation.

It was only 20 minutes later that the other four boys burst in, the eldest looking around for the fire, only to be met with an even more heart shattering scene: Lino rocking Felix back and forth on the couch as Jeongin sat beside him rubbing his back with Seungmin gently murmuring to him from his position on the floor in front of the trio. 

“What happened? Who’s hurt? Sick? Someone tell me what the hell is happening?” Chan rushed over to the group, kneeling next to Seungmin while the others looked on, wide eyed, starting to tear up at the sight. 

“I- I lost her. I screwed up. I don’t know what I was think- thinking. It hurts so bad, Channie. I feel like I’m drowning,” Felix sobbed as he pulled out of the tight embrace he’d been held in. “You guys didn’t help. Why did none of you talk to her? Why did none of you tell me she was asking about me? Why didn’t you guys warn me? Why- why did I let this happen?” He broke down again as Chan shifted into Lino’s spot, pulling Felix into him.

“Hey, hey. Shhh, you have to tell us what’s going on. Is it y/n? Did you fight? What are we a part of? Felix, I need you to talk to me, yeah?” Chan was rubbing his younger friend’s back, looking at the rest, questions and tears in everyone’s eyes. 

Felix pulled back before wiping his nose, Chan reaching up and rubbing the tear stains off his face, looking the younger one in the eyes. “I was so stressed about this comeback, this tour, continuing to be better for STAY. I lost myself, became obsessed with perfecting everything, perfecting our chemistry for STAY. She said she reached out to some of you, but was ignored by you guys too. We left her alone. Alone to think that I was done with her. Never even explained my obsession with this comeback. I lost myself, and I lost y/n in the process. I don’t know what is so different this time. I didn’t even get to tell her that JYPE was giving us the opportunity to go public. It slipped my mind. Another tack on my obsession with being perfect this time so that she would be protected. She’s been with me through so much already, and when it was finally time to take the next step, I took twenty backwards, away from her. I need to fix this. I don’t know how to fix this. I don’t have time to fix this. I love her so much, it hurts so bad. Who am I without her? Will I lose STAY next? She still only thought of me when she called it off, saying she was going to give me a day to get myself ready for STAY. She still looked out for me, thinking I had already given up on her. I couldn’t even get her to stop before she walked out. She walked out, trying to make it easier. It wasn’t easier. It’s my fault. Help me, please. Help me fix this. I want to make STAY proud, but I need her back. Help me.” Felix cut himself off, sobbing again. The others stared, open-mouthed and silent. 

Hyunjin pulled his phone out to look through texts between him and y/n, noticing for the first time how he had come across in his own obsession with perfecting himself for the tour. He turned to Changbin, who was silently crying while already staring at his own phone.”We did this. We left her alone,” Changbin whispered, voice cracking. Hyunjin just shook his head, disbelief coursing through his veins. 

“Lix, look at me. Please,” Chan gently pulled the younger one away from him, grabbing his chin to direct him to look in his eyes. “We have to focus on this tour and give our best. We owe it to ourselves and the hard work we’ve put in. We owe it to STAY. But we WILL fix this. I have a plan. The bag by the door, that’s your stuff from her place, yeah?” Felix nodded, tears still sliding down his cheeks. “Okay, good. We’ll need it. We will fix this, Lix. I promise you. You aren’t losing her, none of us are.” Chan looked around the group, noticing the tears in all their eyes at the thought of y/n no longer being a part of their lives after so long. He was going to fix this, not just for his brother, but for his dear friend he had found in y/n, for his members.

●●●

The tour began. Felix shaky behind the scenes, powerful on stage. They were leaving Seoul for the first leg of overseas concerts. A package arrived on your doorstep the day they left, pictures and one of the many plushies Felix had gifted you. A note sat on top. Y/n, I’m so beyond sorry for what happened. We got obsessed and none of us checked each other. You mean so much to all of us, to Felix. Please, I want to help you through this. I want to help Felix. This is where it starts. We’re all sorry. -Chan. You put the box in a corner of your closet, unable to look through the pictures.

The next flight was a couple days later. Along with it came another package. Hey, darling. I know we haven’t spoken in a while. That’s on me. I’ll be better, we’ll all be better. Take care, remember to eat and sleep well -Your favorite Cat Man. More pictures, another plush, and a bracelet the boys had gotten you for you first Christmas with them, the clasp fixed. You rolled your eyes, placing the new package with the other one.

A week later, another flight, another package. Sweet girl. I am so sorry. I let myself get caught up in the members and the practices and the new songs. That’s no excuse to have let you down in the process. He misses you so much. We all do. - Your muscle boy, Binnie. Again, another one of the plushies but this time a brand new necklace, obviously from Changbin, along with a new purse you had mentioned one of the last times you were with the boys. You felt your heart tug a little more as you hesitantly set the package on top of the other two. Closing the door, this time resting your head against the cool wood as you tried to steady your breathing. 

Expecting it this time, you rushed into the apartment with the new package. This time you couldn’t help the small smile that grew on your face. A painting of a beautiful flower field greeted you, this time with three of the plushies. Lovely y/n. I miss you. I missed you before we left, but I didn’t act on it. I’m forever going to be sorry that I let you slip away when I got carried away. When we get back, we’re going on a painting date again. I miss our jokes and your laughter. I want to fix all of it. Yours, Hyunjinnie. A tear slid down your face. It’d been a month since you walked away from Felix. It hasn’t gotten any easier. You set the package on your coffee table, walking to your room to grab the other three. You sat staring at them, chewing your bottom lip as you debated what to do. Ultimately, you walked into your bedroom, leaving them on the table. 

A couple weeks later, you were again greeted with a package. Opening it slower this time, you felt your heart rate pick up as all kinds of snacks from different countries greeted you, nearly drowning the two plushies at the bottom. My lovely honey girl! I suck. STAYs would say “predebut Han came out” and they wouldn’t be wrong. You mean so much to all of us. I did have to steal some of the snacks from Flour boy. I hope you enjoy them all, tell me your favorites when we get back. Hannie. You rubbed at your eyes, missing them all more than you can express. You pulled out the notes from all the packages so far. Heading into your bathroom, you stuck them all to your mirror. Gazing at yourself, finally noticing the dark circles under your eyes. You walked back to the living room, gathering all the plushies in your arms as you walked to your bedroom. You laid them all down on the bed before heading into your closet to find clothes to change into for a nap. While flipping through your sweatshirts, you finally noticed it. There in the back was the sweatshirt Felix had been wearing the last time you saw him. You grabbed it, feeling tears slip down your cheeks as you slipped it on. You slid on some random shorts you found and crawled into your bed, surrounded by the plushies of your relationship with Felix. You fell asleep with tears drying on your face, wrapped in the scent of the boy who meant the world to you, sleeping better than you have in weeks. 

With only one month left until the end of the tour, you got nervous for the next package. If they were following the pattern, it would be Felix’s turn. You slowed your walk when you spotted it at your door. Taking a deep breath, you walked into your apartment with the box tucked under your arm. You opened the box to a new book you had mentioned to Seungmin months ago. Your jaw dropped, and a weird wave of relief went through you. You hugged onto yet another plushie as you read the note. Hahahaha sorry that I’m probably not who you’re expecting. SEUNGMIN IN THE BUILDING!!! I do want to apologize to you. Y/n you are such an important part of our lives, and we got too caught up in ourselves and being perfect for STAY that we neglected you. I promise, if you take us back, that it will never happen again. -Puppy boy. 

The boys had been outstanding all tour. STAY were loving the shows, the boys were giving their all and then some. A cloud still hovered over all their hearts as none had received any word from you. Felix would go straight to bed after every show. It was a harder time each stop for Lino to keep him eating with the members instead of retreating to his room to scroll through all your photos together. Two more weeks remained until he would know if you truly had left him or not. The others were increasingly worried they weren’t going to get you back. 

Another package arrived. New shoes and a new phone case accompanied the plush this time. Cutie cutie it’s me! I miss you. Felix isn’t the same without you, none of us are. I’m worried about him, but I’m worried about you too. I miss our conversations on who’s concert fashion is the best (me, by the way). I want to take you shopping when we get back, if you will go with me. Baby bread. You sighed, you couldn’t stop the ache in your chest from coming back as you let yourself fully recognize how much you missed them all. Only a week remained in the tour. You pulled out all the photos from the first package. It was you and all the boys. There were some candids you had never seen, clearly taken during your many hang outs at the dorms. Many of your favorites with Felix were in there as well. Your heart swelled. You were fairly certain what your decision was going to be. 

A new package greeted you after a particularly hard day at work. Your heart sped up, knowing who it was. It was the last of the plushies Felix had gotten you over the course of your relationship, nothing more beyond the letter. I don’t even know where to start. One of our staff will have dropped this off only a day before we get back. Chan’s plan was so thorough. Each of the members have written an apology for how we all acted the last couple months before this tour. Accompanied by something of ours that I took back with me when I tried to give you as much space as possible by removing myself. It’s killing me, knowing that I hurt you so horribly. A sorry isn’t even enough, a thousand sorry’s won’t be enough. I royally screwed up. It’s no excuse that I let myself get too obsessed with being Stray Kids and getting everything perfect for this tour. I hope it goes well, as I’m writing this before we even leave. Everyone already has their extra gifts picked out except for Han, he wants to collect snacks from different places to send you. His package might be a little behind schedule, but Chan has it planned out to work anyway. I’m sure you noticed that I have nothing extra in here besides my words and the last of the plushies we’ve collected together. I do hope you’ve already found it and haven’t thrown it away or burned it. I wouldn’t blame you if you did. But I left my sweatshirt from that night in the back of your closet. It should still smell like me. I know how much trouble you have with sleeping, especially while I’m on tour. If you don’t hate my guts by now, maybe it will bring you some comfort. I love you, y/n. So much. Words don’t even come close to describing the way I truly feel about you. If you’ll have me, I want to be better for you. I know what I did, and I swear to you that I’ll be spending this entire tour working on myself so that I’m better for you. I’ll get strength from STAY. All the work I put in won’t be for nothing, especially if I lost you throughout this. It still won’t be worth losing you, but maybe I’ll drown myself in STAY’s love if I have to. I love you, endlessly, my beautiful star. - Yours always and forever, Lixie. Tears were streaming down your face as you put the letter down. You only gave yourself a few seconds before you throw yourself into action.

●●●

The boys walked off the plane, through the airport. The air crackled with excitement over how well the tour went. The cloud of anxiety still hung over them, but they were trying to block it out the best they could. As they walked towards the car to take them back to the dorms, they noticed one of their managers standing at an extra car. Trying to calm their heart rates down, Chan slowly walked over to the manager. “From y/n.” He gave Chan a gentle smile. 

Chan could almost feel his knees give out in relief. He hung his head and blew out a breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding. He turned to look at the rest of the boys. He couldn’t hide the wide smile that spread across his face, crinkling his eyes as he felt laughter bubble out. He ran over to Felix and shoved the small box into his hands. The rest of the members couldn’t hold back their tears of joy as Felix pulled the little ribbon off the top of the box. He looked at each of them, tears streaming down his face.

“No matter what, thank you all. What you did means the world to me, even if she doesn’t forgive me, forgive us, I love you all so much. Thank you.” Felix took a deep breath before he lifted the lid off. A tiny note was placed over something silver and shiny. He felt his knees give out as Changbin rushed forward to catch him. They all noticed the key at the same time and nearly sobbed in relief. Come back to me, I love you so much. “I- I’m going home. I’m going home!” Felix stumbled into the final car as the boys watched him head off to the love of his life, smiling until their cheeks hurt, tears slipping down all their cheeks as they realized they hadn’t lost two of their favorite people. 

[seresinsbabe]

Pairing: Jake “Hangman” Seresin x oc!Kazansky

Synopsis: She’s Admiral Kazansky’s only child. She’s beautiful, she’s smart and she’s off limits. Anastasia Kazansky is everything Jake Seresin wants and can’t have.

Warnings: Angst, eventual smut 18+, arguing, violence, mentions of deceased family, mentions of drug dependency, mentions of surgery and fractures.

Chapter 2 is here! This is not proofread so sorry for any mess ups. It'll be fixed when I'm hungover tomorrow!

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“What do you mean the caterer canceled?” Anastasia had taken her lunch break in her office so she could finalize the details of her parents' anniversary party. It was their fortieth and she wanted to make it special. When she’d checked in the week prior with the event planner everything was smooth sailing. Today she was calling to let her know there would be more attending as she’d invited all the recently in town pilots. “They accidentally double booked? Okay, so what are we going to do about it? I mean we can’t not have food.” She was growing concerned and any appetite she’d had was now lost. A knock came at her office door and she looked up to see Connor Clark, one of the resident doctors. “I’ve got to go. Call me later with some options.” She hung up the phone and tried not to slam the device on her desk.

Connor raised an eyebrow at her as he stepped in. He was a sweet boy, not the brightest so she wasn’t sure how he’d managed to match with ortho, but he had. And the second he met her he seemed to follow her around like a lost puppy. 

“Everything okay Ana?” She scrunched her nose up at the nickname. No one called her that. It was always either Stace, Stasia or Baby Ice. So hearing him call her Ana gave her the ick. 

Letting out a heavy sigh she shook her head in an attempt to shake how upset she was. “Yeah, just a little issue with my parents' anniversary party. Nothing I can’t figure out.” She gave him a tight lipped smile. “Is there something you need?”

Connor shook his head. “No, just haven’t seen you all day, wanted to make sure you were in.” That was weird. Stasia didn't always see each resident every day. She was just a physician assistant and she only saw the residents assigned to work with her doctor for that rotation.

Stasia grabbed her white coat, sliding it on over her scrubs. “Just been in the OR all day. Actually, I need to go make rounds, Laura wanted me to check on our femur fracture patient.” She was trying to use it as an excuse to get out of the conversation. And it seemed to work but when she was halfway out of her office door he spoke up again.

“Well, actually I came to see if you were doing anything Saturday?” 

Fuck. The brunette stopped in her tracks, frozen mid step as she tried to think of a response. This wasn’t the first time a colleague had a crush on her, but it was the first time one of the resident doctors had the balls to ask her out on a date. It wasn’t that Connor was ugly, but one it was just a bad idea and he wasn’t her type. He was too meek for her, she needed someone capable of putting up with the shit she dished out.

Finally she turned around, a soft smile on her face that if he was smart enough he would read as rejection. “I’m actually busy this Saturday. I have plans with friends.” That wasn’t entirely a lie. She didn’t have plans with friends this Saturday, but she could easily conjure some up, she was sure.

Connors face fell but then he smiled again and moved his hand in a passive wave. “No worries! Another time!” Before she could get the chance to tell him it wasn’t going to happen at all he was bounding off down the hall in the direction of the clinical building. Stasia cursed under her breath. Hopefully this wouldn’t be the start of a trend for the remainder of his residency here. The latest round of residents had only started two weeks ago and they would be for a good three or four months before moving on.

—

Anastasia had hoped the day would get better, but when she called the event planner after work she was let down. The woman had hit a wall trying to find another caterer on such short notice, but she promised to have someone by the end of the week. If that wasn’t bad enough, one of her patients had managed to storm into the post operative recovery wing screaming for her and her doctor, pissed because they’d cut off his oxycodone script. They’d found out he was getting oxy from more than one doctor and cut him off. Neither she or Laura were going to risk their medical license over something like that. Security had managed to get to him, but not before he’d thrown a clipboard at her and screamed in her face. 

So when she got a text from not only Rooster but Phoenix as well asking to meet at the Hard Deck for a drink that night she didn’t hesitate to accept. When five o’clock hit she was barely in her office before the scrubs came off and she was back in her street clothes. 

“He fucking said what to you?” Stace was fuming as Rooster relayed the events of their training that day. She knew this training was going to be hard on Rooster when she found out Maverick was going to be their instructor. Anastasia loved her Uncle Maverick, but her relationship with him was far different than Rooster’s relationship with the man. It was strained and had been since Maverick rejected Rooster’s application to flight school. 

While she knew the reason Pete had done it, she also knew that Bradley didn’t know. Once when Mav was visiting she’d asked if he would ever tell him and he just shook his head. She remembered their relationship before, Maverick had stepped up to try and be the father that Brad had lost when he was just a child. She wanted that back for the both of them, but with Maverick refusing to tell why he pulled his papers she wasn’t sure it would ever happen again. 

Today’s events weren’t exactly Maverick’s fault. Instead it had been that loud mouth Texan jackass’ fault. 

“He just brought up my dad and how he and Maverick were flying together when…” Brad trailed off when he saw the anger building in Stasia’s eyes and was almost regretting telling her. She was fiercely protective of those she was closest to. He’d seen her throw punches at grown men for stepping out of line, even if they were twice her size. So it should have been no surprise when the bell above the door rang and none other than Jake Seresin walked in and she marched right up to him. Her high heels clicked angrily against the floor.

The slap happened before anyone could register what was happening. 

“What the fuck is your problem!” Her normally sweet voice was filled with anger. Jake was taken aback, still registering just why the woman of his dreams had just slapped the shit out of him. It wasn’t until he locked eyes with Bradshaw that he knew why she was so mad.

Her hands came up to shove him and he grabbed onto her wrist before she could get any leverage to shove. “Woah now darlin’, don’t get mad at me because Rooster there can’t han-” he was cut off by her voice.

“Shut. The. Fuck. Up.” The words came out low and slow. “What happened to Bradley’s dad is none of your fucking business Bagman. You didn’t know Goose, you don’t get to fucking speak on him.” Jake could tell she was pissed, but her words hadn’t done anything yet to wipe the cocky smirk off his face. 

He turned to look at Coyote for help, but Javy just held his hands up in surrender. He wasn’t about to get on Anastasia Kazansky’s shit list. He valued his life and his career. 

Jake narrowed his eyes at the other pilot briefly before turning to look back down at the woman who’s wrist he still held. 

Surely if he let go she would just hit him again and he quite liked the way he looked.

“Calm down darlin’, it was just a little smack talk between friendly rivals.” He was trying to downplay the fact that what he’d said was fucked up. He was positive that if his mom had heard him say something like that she would have smacked him so hard upside the head he’d be sent back in time.

Stasia managed to get her wrists out of his grip and she couldn’t help the satisfaction that ran through her when she saw him flinch. 

“I can’t wait until someone knocks you off your goddamn high horse.” A well manicured nail stabbed into his chest as she spoke. “The day you realize your shit doesn’t smell like roses, it just stinks.” She finished the sentence off with a light shove. 

Rooster, Phoenix and Bob had all moved to stand behind her as soon as they realized she was on the move. None of them had been prepared for her to slap Hangman, and none of them could say it wasn’t satisfying. They’d never seen someone capable of stunning him like that. 

Stasia downed the rest of her whiskey sour and slapped a fifty dollar bill down on the bar. “Sorry Penny,” she apologized to the woman. Stasia had caused a scene in the bar before, but never like that. Usually it was when some guy had gotten too handsy with her or one of her friends and she’d put him in his place. She’d never gone off on someone when they’d just barely stepped foot in the door. Not that Jake didn’t deserve it, but she probably could have been a little more eloquent about it. “I’ll talk to you guys later, I think it’s best if I just head home.”

Any more time spent around Jake was just going to lead to more arguing and it would ruin the night even further for everyone. The others just nodded in understanding and said their goodbyes.

Outside the sun was just starting to set. A beautiful array of oranges, pinks and purples over the ocean.

“Hey!” A voice called out from the door and Stasia groaned.

“Did you not get enough in the bar?” Her voice was just as cold as it had been when she turned to face Jake who was jogging up to her.

“What the hell was that in there?” He sounded mad and she’d never heard him sound like this before. Jake was always the calm and cocky pilot.

Her brows furrowed on her forehead and her face scrunched up in confusion. “Uh, you mean where I ripped you a new one for talking about Rooster’s dead dad? What do you need a fucking instant replay?” Her arms crossed over her chest, an attempt to keep from hitting him should she get that angry again.

“I ain’t ever done anythin’ to you to deserve that kinda bullshit, Anastasia.” Jake’s accent was starting to slip the more he let his anger seep through his words. Stasia couldn’t believe what she was hearing. Sure, maybe she’d crossed a line by slapping him, but he couldn’t really think he wasn’t in the wrong here.

“You can’t honestly be trying to say you didn’t deserve that. I mean this is a joke right?”

“No, it ain’t no joke. Bradley don’t get to send you to fight his fights for him and we had it out in the hanger today. There was no reason for you to embarrass the hell outta me like that.” Ah. It was all making sense Jake wasn’t sorry for what he’d done. He was just sorry she’d called him out like that in front of everyone. 

With a roll of her eyes she turned back around and opened her car door only to have Jake’s hand come up and slam it back shut. 

“You ass!”

“No, I want an apology.”

“Only if you apologize to Rooster first.” Her eyebrow cocked and Jake let out a huff through his nose. Stasia could see the gears turning in his head, like he was trying to decide if it was worth it.

“Fine.” Jake grabbed her wrist and pulled her with him back into the Hard Deck. “Bradshaw!” Rooster’s head snapped up and the look on his face turned concerned when he saw Stace being dragged by Jake.

Rooster stood up, ready to do something if she gave him the say so. “Bagman what ar-” he was cut off by Jake.

“I’m sorry for bringing up your dad earlier. It was out of line and sweets here made me realize that.” The whole dagger squad looked stunned as they tried to process what had just happened. 

Jake Seresin had just apologized because Anastasia Kazansky told him to. Hell, they weren’t even aware that the word ‘sorry’ was in his vocabulary. 

The first one to finally speak up was Bob.

“Stace, just how hard did you slap him?”

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Taglist:

@hangmandruigandmav

@alanadetigy

@starkleila

[juniperhillpatient]

I went through the movie and musical to get a consistent timeline for each because I know the musical changed some things around (they switched when martha's and heather m's suicides take place for one) and I think some things in the movie were put out of order (for instance, when kurt and ram die the girl approaches heather d & m in the parkin lot to say school's canceled. the next scene has flem sayin they were in a similar position on monday, and the principal saying they're going to write off that day and then on friday ms.flem can hold her thing in the caf.) it's implied the funerals are very quick to happen because after chandler dies (on saturday) veronica's parents are like "how's the first day [of school] after heather's suicide like?" and at the end of the scene veronica's like "i gotta motor if i want to be ready for that funeral" she's still wearing the same clothes she was at school and also when she meets big bud dean. later after killing kurt and ram in the car she asks jd if they can "make an ice run before the funeral" for her hand.

the only thing i couldn't place is when jd goes to blackmail duke after veronica breaks up with him. either a monday or tuesday. because the pep rally is clearly stated on friday, which means mac's attempt and veronica's fake suicide was on thursday, and martha's attempt was on wednesday. wednesday is also when veronica invited betty to play croquet with her. the part where duke surprises veronica at chandler's locker takes place the same day as when jd gives her the red scrunchie because she's wearing the same pink turtleneck. just don't know when that is. the week before, on the friday was when veronica broke up with jd because that was the same day of fleming's assembly, and veronica's like "that thing this afternoon!"

the musical though? i can't place the entirety of the second act. if we're following the movie, me inside of me leaps from saturday the 23rd to monday the 25th, veronica meets big bud that same day, goes on that double-date with kurt ram and the heathers that same night, gets slut-shamed the next day on tuesday the 26th, and kurt and ram are dead wednesday morning on the 27th. end of act one. we're definitely in october after that but no idea how far and that fucks me up immensely lol. the timeline that one user wrote is inaccurate because it treats the "30 hours to live" part literally, not to mention when veronica's mom asks if they have big plans "tonight" veronica mentions the party at ram's. so. it's not a "plot hole" that they go from sunday back to saturday, act one was very linear. it's act two where everything goes off the rails.

(the things i do to write a fucking fanfic though,,, help!!)

also did your school have pep rallies? ours held them at the end of the day, iirc classes were shorter to accommodate because they were mandatory and took place at the very last hour before it let out. ngl i just skipped them lmfao. in the movie after veronica fake-hangs herself it cuts to everyone arriving to school. but by the time the movie ends it seems to be the end of the day so i'm not exactly sure how the hell that works either.

Oh wow I’m so impressed that you went through & created a whole timeline! I love it!

No I always low key thought pep rallies might just be a movie & tv show thing tbh 🤣 But I guess you had them! And they were mandatory? So weird.

Anyway thank you for putting this all together, this was an impressive amount of research!

[anonymousreductionjournal]

First off, this is a weight loss journal

The background: I've always been larger. A couple of years ago, I did a fairly strict and extreme diet (in a personally safe way) and was able to lose a lot of weight in just a couple months (around 60lbs / 27.25kg in 2.5 months) but was promoted to manager at my old job.

Things got super stressful and I fell off watching my weight and started stress eating. Eventually the stress eating became habitual and while I am at a much more laid back job now, I'm not healthy by any means and I weigh more than I originally did.

I lost my old scale when I moved so I hadn't weighed myself in some time and finally did and it was like a punch to the gut to read the number.

So I made this sideblog to document my numbers and progress.

My information and rules to my diet and personal rules for my blog below:

Blog rules:

First and foremost, while I may occasionally interact with potentially pro-ana posts, this is primarily for recipes and as a whole, I do not support anorexia. Numerically speaking, as per the rules of my diet, some can consider it falling under anorexia in the long term but one of my main rules for my own diet is that if I am feeling unwell or sick, the diet is called off for the day or extra consumption is added but more details will be added further down.

Second; I am an adult. I suffer from bad body dysmorphia regarding my size and even for the sake of progress, I do not photograph myself and will not share photos of myself on here. The only pictures I might share will be of meals I enjoyed with the recipes for later reference

Third; I am not expecting followers as this is mainly a tagless blog (aside for a specifically unique tag for the aforementioned meal posts) but considering the mental health, the extremes to which people can take diets, and self body image of people, I will block any minor that follows this blog. I do not want to endorse the idea of extreme diets to minors. Be safe and smart.

Diet rules:

1. Food content does not matter outside of calorie count. I do not care how many carbs or what the level of transfats are in a food, I specifically only count calories

2. Calorie restriction is going to be averaged at 1000 per day with some minor wiggle room. I will aim for 1000, if I hit 1200, itd be disappointing but is still in the weight loss range and isnt a big deal. I will not go above 1500. If I do go above 1500, the remainder would be reduced from a strict 1000 the following day. For example, if I eat 1700 cal, the 200 over would be removed from the next day, aiming for now 800.

2. 1 day a week will be allotted for a cheat day. I can but probably wont count calories on this day. This is for when I spend time with friends or have meals with my partner on a mutual day off, or to just eat unhealthy fast food.

3. The following day will usually be a fast day

The typical schedule is that my partner and I typically have sundays off together (minus my occasional working sunday) so my diet schedule would be Tues-Sat, cheat Sunday, Fast Monday. But the days arent definite as it more revolves around availability of friends and such when I will have the cheat day.

And most importantly

4. The diet will be on hold if I am ill. If I am horribly sick, or struggling for the day and feeling like I might pass out or having unending horrible migraines that keep me from doing my job, the diet is canceled for the day. I will eat so I feel better and I will not hold it against myself and I will not reduce or fast the following day (unless its currently a cheat day, in which case feeling ill should be unrelated to the diet anyway)

5. Not a definite rule, but I will attempt to post basic weights daily for me here. These posts will be very short, just the date and weight, with body measurements potentially once a week. Weights will be taken in just underwear for consistency and accuracy. While I have "they" in my bio, I have a male body so if you see measurements for bust/waist/hips/thighs, take this into consideration. Thigh measurements is the circumference of my right thigh, not both thighs at the same time.

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I dont really have an end goal at the moment, anything is better than what it is right now. I may set periodic goals but considering I cant adjust my diet further, I cant plan to weigh this or that by a certain date. The previous time I did this diet, I lost 20+lbs/9+kgs a month but I had a job on my feet versus my current desk job so rates will differ from last time.

Please dont give me hate or attack posts for me being large, I know I am and that is why I am starting this.

April 3rd, 2024

Edit, all weights should be applied to my physical height of 6'2 / 187cm

[jamesheartupdates]

6 months and many breakdowns later... surgery is rescheduled

TL;DR: Surgery is now scheduled for Wednesday, February 21, 2024. James will have pre-op the day before. We'll keep updating here as we can!

The longer version...

Almost everything from the last post in August is still valid. It's still the third and final surgery for his "full repair" (called the "Fontan"). It's still not an "emergency" (although it does need to happen). And it's still happening at UVA hospital in Charlottesville (and we still live in Richmond, an hour away).

The biggest change is that James turned 4 in October! Also after having conversations with his cardiologist, the initial 2-4 week hospital recovery we were told to anticipate may be a little inflated. James is an all-star little patient and has recovered more quickly than average during his past two surgeries, so we're anticipating hospital recovery to be more around a week (or two, but you can never really know these things).

For a little background over the past several months, there have been many twists and turns since August. The August date was canceled due to low ICU staffing at the hospital. We planned again for October. We kept the boys out of daycare to prevent us from getting sick. We all got sick. We delayed surgery week by week as we continued to be sick. Then we decided to take a break from the madness as we entered into cold and flu season, and we would wait and try again in the spring.

It's not quite spring, but we're back at it again. We're anxious to have this surgery behind us, and we're hopeful James will feel relief for ailments he doesn't even realize he has (his oxygen saturation levels are in the low 80s currently, after surgery they'll be in the high 90s).

We took the boys out of daycare again and have been quarantining as much as possible in preparation for the surgery. It's important for James to not have an upper respiratory illness for the surgery and immediate recovery because his lungs need to be in tip top shape (something we didn't *fully* realize until our second attempt at the surgery in the fall).

The logistics, the considerations, the emotions, the stress — it's all a lot. We just keep telling ourselves and each other we're doing the best we can.

Here's what the next few days will look like:

We plan to tell James about the surgery today or tomorrow (the fun news is we also get to tell James he was accepted for Make A Wish, so he can choose something to look forward to after the surgery!).

Tuesday 2/20 we go to UVA for pre-op mid-morning to mid-afternoon (vitals, echo, blood draw, ultrasound, etc.), then we come home.

Wednesday 2/21 is surgery day, so Michael and I will take James SUPER EARLY to UVA. Surgery will be 6-8 hours (for those who this means anything to, it's a "beating heart" operation and he'll be on the pump for ~1-1.5 hrs). Michael and I have been in touch with the hospital about getting a room at the Ronald McDonald house — chances are it's full, and if it is, the hospital will provide a room at a hotel for us for 3 nights. Michael and I will be taking turns staying overnight with James at the hospital (they only let 1 adult overnight).

In the days that follow, someone will be with him around the clock (it's different having a newborn or 5 month old compared to a 4 year old!). He'll probably be in the ICU for a couple nights then go to the pediatric floor for the remaining days.

Another thing to note is that there are two heart transplant candidates that could move our surgery to Thursday or Friday, but the odds are still good that James's surgery will happen within the week. As long as we get through pre-op, surgery will definitely be within the week.

People have been asking how to support us, and most simply you can cheer us on however you prefer — thoughts, prayers, letters, song, dance, poem, etc. Some people have asked about meals, and we don’t have a meal train currently, but if you’d like to send an Uber Eats or Door Dash gift card or Venmo us (@ninarogers or @mikerogue) for a coffee, a meal or to just help with the extra costs that can come with traveling to and from the hospital and being out of our normal routine — that would be appreciated. Hopefully this will just be a short stint and not too disruptive for too long.

Last but not least, here are some cute pictures from the past few months 🥰 James is still our sweet, funny, sassy, spirited and curious little red head, and we love him so!

That's all for now! We'll post more (shorter) posts as we go. You can come here to stay updated!

Love, Nina (+ Michael, James & Gabe)