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ronnytherandom · 3 years

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I forgot to watch content all week so i wrote about games ive been playing

9/2/2021: The Truman Show

You should fear your fears but embrace them and use them to guide you into the unknown, to explore and experience what life has to offer. Fear stands between you and the fullest experience of life so you must pass through it to better yourself. Heed not the walls built about you and the chains made to hold you. Though the architects insist it will preserve your life, containment is anathema to life. Do not take in faith the benevolence of powers that be; instead trust those who would support and liberate you, guide you through fear and into life.

As best I can lay it out, I think this is the philosophy of the Truman show but there is so much more to read into it also. There is critique of systems of commodification and celebrity (i.e. capitalism) reducing human beings to a consumable good as well as encouragement to find and pursue your goals despite adversity and even sensibility which is also tied to the illusion of economic responsibility. You can’t put a camera inside a human head, you can never “know” them without being an active and intrinsic part of their life, but also there is need for reciprocation. If one half exists with ulterior motive then the entire relationship is rotten; sincere humanity is what creates real connections. Without such your world is fake. A world built around one person is a world where no one can truly live. All these actors have given up basically their entire lives for the sake of watching Truman have his life built around him by outside forces, have allowed themselves to be commodified and dehumanised for the good of one man, Christoph. The man at the top has delusions of grandeur and thinks only of his own bottom line, he cares not for his subjects but simply wants them to do as he tells them because it benefits him to commodify their lives and interactions. Even then he cannot stand to lose control and in seeking to demonstrate Truman’s “realness” he structures his life so thoroughly that eventually there’s no reality left, only a script and adverts. But the people watching still empathise with Truman because everyone in the working class understands what it is to be trapped because real life is our own Truman show and one day we must all pass through fear, step out of the dome and create a real life for ourselves outside of the system of commodification which consumes everyone’s life and removes all realness and sincerity and emotional catharsis from it.

I unreservedly love this film.

14/2/2021: Assorted Game Reviews

Horizon Zero Dawn (Unfinished due to technical issues, 45 hours inc. parts of Frozen Wilds): This game is really cool and really fun. I think it is defined by its incredible setting which somehow creates a fresh feeling post-apocalyptic environment. Said environment creates intriguing alt-future lore and some very interesting environments to explore. I love the machine designs (especially tallnecks!) and was very sad to hear one of their contributing artists passed away recently but I’m glad their work lives on in this visually stunning game. I’m a sucker for Ubisoft-style open world games simply because it tickles a certain kind of itch and somehow this non-Ubisoft game has outdone Ubisoft on their own formula, which is hilarious, but also good for me as running around this world exploring and clearing map markers is engaging fun. Not least because of the combat. I have a minor criticism here that the combat feels slightly awkward on mouse and keyboard, the arrows never seem to go where I’m aiming, but aside from that the experience of fighting is a grand one. Enemies never lose their threat and I love the weak spot system the game employs which makes every tool useful in niche circumstance and rewards curiosity. It specifically manages this in a way that I feel the Witcher series could learn from if it ever returns; by making head on assault less viable and encouraging tactical hunting. I do feel this system makes hunting robots so fun that by contrast hunting humans becomes a chore however, though I noted this improves in the dlc with the addition of humans with elemental weaknesses limited in number as they are. I cannot speak for the story in entirety but what I encountered was pretty good, though I feel as if it was only just really getting going at the point where I could not continue. I find Aloy to be a compelling and well portrayed protagonist and though I can guess about her origin and the ultimate end of the alt-future apocalypse I still want to see how it plays out on screen, so will return to this as soon as I’ve fixed it.

Rimworld (122 hours. Familiar with but do not own Royalty Expansion):

Rimworld is one of those super special games that I don’t think I have a single problem with. Fair warning it can be brutal and is heavily dependent on RNG but this allows it to create truly unique and interesting scenarios on a constant basis. In the wider perspective it could be described as formulaic, with regular cycles of managing the settlement between raids and random events, but the devils in the details. Colonist traits, health and skills dictate how you play and sometimes you’ll be forced to adapt as some colonists simply refuse to perform some tasks. The depth of health particularly amuses me, in that each little part of someone’s body is modelled in a way. If you’re in a firefight you may take a single bullet which grazes your finger and you’re fine. Alternately it could pierce your human leather cowboy hat, your skull and kill you instantly and the game will tell you exactly what happened. The risk/reward element is addictive enough, and that’s without accounting for just how cool it is to see your colony slowly expand. Establishing more and more options for crafting is fun and shows off the full range of different items in the game which is fucking extensive. Between clothing, weapons, armour, sculpture and drugs to name only a few you have the opportunity to create many varied production lines either for your colonists or to trade for money and there is a lot of fun to be had here as well as it is quite satisfying to see psychoid you have grown personally become the cocaine your colonists snort to help them stay awake on limited sleep. From an archaeologist’s perspective it is especially cool to look back over your base and see the hints of how and why structures were built and remember the history of your limitations and development through structure. I think the lore of the universe is really cool too, a very 40k-esque kind of place except with far less order, somehow. But the universe does an excellent job of feeling alive and moving constantly on both a planetary and interstellar level. You can fully believe that while you build wooden shacks to shield yourself from terrifyingly low temperatures there are simultaneously rich pieces of shit living it up on the glitterworld that’s one system over. The music does an excellent job of creating the wild west frontier atmosphere the game cultivates to great effect. Ultimately, for just being a grid with a series of different numbers attached, this game does a fantastic job of creating a compelling, brutal and very real colony management experience. I dont think I can properly put into words the grandness and scope of this one. I didnt even mention the modding scene, which is expansive and tailors to basically any need you could have. The Rim is a terrifying place but theres so much fun to be had.

Factorio (86 hours, mostly 1.1): Having completed a game of Factorio I can tell you reliably that this is one of the best games ever made, thoroughly addictive and fun. If you like numbers, logistics, TRAINS, its gonna be your thing. Not to mention its probably the only documented case of a game with no bugs (so far as official forums are concerned). Strictly speaking this games combat is not the most engrossing thing but good lord do you feel it when you acquire a flamethrower. The way each aspect of the game (production, research, logistics, combat, upgrades for everything therein) feeds into the next is a really well constructed balancing act such that you must experience the full game in order to complete it and I always appreciate this kind of design. I think its one of the best tenets of factory game design especially as its something present in Satisfactory too. Beyond all of this generalised good the game is also excellent in its intricacies, the architecture necessary to build a maximum efficiency base, the level of planning and organisation that can be employed is mind-blowing. Not to mention the mod community, factorion is already an extensive experience and some mad bastards have seen fit to complicate it further, hats off to them. This really is a great moment in gaming.

Destiny 2 (198 hours, all expansions, played some post Forsaken release, mostly Season of Arrivals onwards, spent roughly £20 on microtransactions):

This is a very interesting and enjoyable experience, but I must say it can be a bit controversial at times. What its does particularly well is moment to moment gameplay and design in all aspects. The game is stunning; between environments, cosmetics, shaders ships and ghosts there’s a vast range of incredible things to see, all rooted in the “pseudo-magi-science” aesthetic it’s got going on. The class design is excellent and you really do feel like you embody this rampaging madman / agile gunman / space wizard archetype, whichever you choose to play. The abilities, especially supers, are very satisfying. Everything has heft and power behind it which can be felt in all aspects of design; sound and animation is top notch. Movement is cool, you can feel how fast you move both on foot and in vehicles and the navigation has a little fun subtlety depending on your class jump, even if you can bounce unpredictably occasionally. But for the love of god why is the wall kick in there? It has only ever served to push me from a ledge into a bottomless pit. You're looking to remove antiquated content? Start there. Some guns are not so good to shoot but there’s such a great range of guns that are fun its like complaining about one drop in an ocean; and enemies are fun to shoot at, each faction distinct in meaningful ways and presenting an effective challenge. Speaking of oceans, that’s one way to describe the lore. I haven’t dived too deep but it keeps going down forever and everything I’ve read is intriguing. As a former Elder Scrolls lore nut this is something I could definitely sink my teeth into, though its much more of a pulpy sci-fi vibe than a pure nonsense vibe. I do think the game has a bit of a loot problem, primarily in regards to the conflict between high stats and looking good. This should never be a conflict, and yes you can apply ornaments to any purple gear but that’s not enough when I spend the entire time grinding power levels and thus must change armour and weapons on a constant basis to progress. This game needs a true transmog system and if not that, rethink how gear power level works. Perhaps rather than earning new instances of gear you always possess a version of it and the loot you acquire in missions just upgrades your instance to your current overall power level? This would serve to do away with the current upgrade system which I think is a needless additional grind. Perhaps it could be retained in using enhancement cores to empower gear as present but necessitating a whole upgrade module to keep your favourite weapon on hand is kind of painful honestly. There is also at present the issue of sunsetting gear, mildly controversial to say the least. If it’s necessary to streamline the game and make it function moving forward so be it but surely loot pools should be adjusted so you can actually get useful loot from older locations? And why sunset personal instances of gear which can be acquired at the regular power level anyway? I had to throw away my favourite bow and hunt down a new version of the exact same weapon for… what reason? I do think destination navigation leaves a little to be desired also. I get that having a physical hub world is meaningful but Destiny does not have a very extroverted community; I can count the times someone noticed me in the tower on one hand. And its not even like there’s fun activities to be found in the same sense as say Deep Rock Galactic, which really does take advantage of its hub. Perhaps for players who simply want to go about their business all of the vendors could be set into a menu system where just clicking an icon takes you to their menu from anywhere in the system rather than, per se, having to go through an entire loading screen (Which takes you to orbit and back) to reach a location which serves simply as the front for four menus. These are established player problems. As a dedicated PvE player I can say that this game is immensely fun in combat and growing in power does feel really good. It’s something I recommend getting into, there’s just some very large creases that need ironing which the Bungie should really take the time to address rather than pushing out new in game content every three months.

#the truman show #horizon zero dawn #rimworld #factorio #destiny 2 #d2 #film #movies #video games #i dont know what im doing #hzd #opinion

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reyeslonestar · 3 years

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Personally I wish that Mateo and Paul, especially Paul, have some more screen time but also just give us more of them. Why didn’t Paul or Mateo say anything during the intervention? Maybe because they didn’t want to offend Owen? Idk just a guess but i just am kind of over those two getting little to nothing if this makes sense. Marjan, too, but she gets a little bit more than them. Story wise, dialogue wise and most of everything else. Mateo had more screen time this week which I loved because he’s great, too and I’m glad we got to see a little bit more of his life outside of work. But they said nothing in the intervention and also they literally barely ever show Mateo doing anything on calls. Like where is he lol is he still a probie? How long does that last maybe I’m dumb as missed some part of that probie storyline and if I did my bad excuse this part lol but if I didn’t then???? And Paul was gonna climb the ladder in the last episode but Owen was like nah I can do it. Why not let Paul do it????? I know this is silly because some scenes are purposely structured to show how Owen and others like TK or someone else will react and move their storylines forward but this is getting kind of annoying. Does this make sense? Why create all of these diverse and interesting characters with so much potential and literally do almost nothing with them. Seriously I know we are just scratching the surface with Mateo and Paul and Marjan. We are lucky to be getting this much Grace and Judd, especially Grace with the car crash plot line because before we didn’t get much Grace aside from short calls either. I just want more and I know we’re slowly getting it but this is so annoying to see some of these characters being wasted and ignored for the most part

hi! yeah, I would love more screentime for that little trio - the actors have obviously put a lot of work into building that dynamic and I love it so much - now give us more @ lone star!! however, something that @howtosingit noted here about the screen time is that the ‘top 3s′ are almost exactly following billing order currently. its worth remembering that Brian, Natacha and Julian are lower billed actors, they are not going to have the same amount of screen time as Rob, Gina and Ronen. (personally I think its sus that Gina is lower than where she should be for that but I guess theres still time before the end of the season) of course we will always like to have more of the characters that aren’t Owen, but realistically the order does reflect the industry convention of how billing relates to screentime.

as for their dialogue during the intervention, i think it kinda does make sense why they didn’t speak much:

a, Marjan and Paul don’t really have personal experience of seeing Owen off the rails, they’ve only really heard it second-hand from Mateo - Paul, Mr Observational, says during the rescue for the kid on the roof that he can’t notice anything apparently wrong with Owen and Marjan was obviously very underprepared for being asked to speak.

b, Owen kind of derailed the intervention before they got around to everyone being able to speak, so Mateo wasn’t able to properly give his thoughts.

(btw Mateo is no longer on probation, he passed his exam during s1 but I suspect he’ll always be probie to the firefam, it’s more an affectionate nickname than an indicator of his experience. he’ll probably still be probie until they get a new probationer, which might be a long time away skjdgjk)

I completely get your frustration at the lack of exploration of these really interesting characters, especially for the benefit of white male characters. I would love for them to really tap into the potential they have and understand that that would create a far more engaging show, as well as a more inclusive one. I have to admit though, this episode was not actually one that fuelled that frustration for me. I actually enjoyed owen’s storyline in this and I think it incorporated the other characters really well and also allowed them a couple subplots of their own.

I don't mind them using Owen as the main character when they give him interesting plots that actually develop his character - in the past, he’s been frustrating to see on screen because the narrative framing validated everything he did rather than challenging him, and so it became far more preferable to have him offscreen. I thought Owen taking over from Paul was quite interesting - it was a parallel to 1.04 when Owen went into the collapsed house instead of TK, and he did it for the same reason - to feel powerful after being confronted with his flaws. in 1.04 it was being faced with a man potentially losing his son reminding Owen of his own mortality, and this ep it was the team discussing his mental health over the radio. the reason why I liked this episode way more is the framing. 1.04 framed Owen as this hero, doing good things for other people and didnt really address why it was a stupid thing to do. 2x10 shows Owen as avoiding his problems by doing things that make him seem heroic but actually are just a symptom of his issues, especially when he started telling a child all about his problems go to therapy Owen istg.

but yeah, you make total sense. as much as I understand that the way the show works is a reflection of industry standards and conventions, doesn’t mean we have to like it or accept it as good enough. Im sure the fact that Carlos, grace, Paul, Mateo and Marjan are characters of colour is part of why the producers dont give them as much attention - film and tv production is built on the same racist structures that the rest of American society is (and like, the rest of the western world especially the uk, but trying to stay on track here) and lone star is not free from that. the fact that they have these characters is awesome, but now they need to use them properly and fairly.

idk if this reply really makes sense, but basically, yeah, we’d like more Mateo, Marjan and Paul and when we have to have the Owen plots, make them actually mean something for the character.

#one day I will write a short answer to an ask #today is not that day #asks??#marjan marwani #mateo chavez #paul strickland #owen strand #fandom discussion #episode chat 2x10 #anonymous #long post

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argumentl · 4 years

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The Freedom of Expression - Ep 5, Quarantining of infected people in the Olympic village?

Note: *This episode was recorded in March 2020*

Hi, This is Dir en grey's Kaoru, starting another installment of The Freedom of Expression. I've revived this show on youtube, from when we did it on the radio station InterFM.

J, T: Thank you so much.

K: So, Joe san, Tasai san, we are here again, as a continuation from last time where we were talking about the corona virus....Well, how do we think things will go from now on?

J: Yes, well, if you ask reporters and such, despite the counter measures being a bit muddled, it isn't really taking hold in Japan, therefore, I really think the number of infections will start to drop. I think we'll definitely be coming to the end of this before long. No matter what, you see an exponential increase at some point, and when that happens, the absolute number of infections increases. But at the present moment, that is kind of leveling out, so there is the view that if we stick to this path until the end, the number of infections will eventuall drop. However, like you said Kaoru, even if this comes to an end, will the economy quickly revover? You know, if people get used to this new lifestyle, we'll have quite a conservative, sensitive situation. Whats it going to be like if people continue trying to avoid close contact with others? I think thats the scariest thing. And then, what about the Olympics, will it go ahead or won't it? Well, thats for Tokyo Sports right? After all your name is 'Tokyo Sports' newspaper.

T: No, no, no....but they'll do it won't they? What do you think?

K: What exactly is Tokyo Sports' view?

T: Well, we had a staff meeting recently, and we generally thought there is an atmosphere that it will go ahead.

J: Yeah, there is no option NOT to go ahead with it, but there is the option of postponing it?

T: Well, yes.

J: It could be an option.

T: I don't really think it will be postponed though.

J: One interesting thing I've heard after talking to journalists and such, is that as for the timing of the olympics, Japan can't really decide that at all. In other words, it fits with America's schedule. It fits during the time that America's sports are off seaon. It doesn't really matter to the hosting nation. So it can be postponed if America says thats ok. If thats not the case, honestly, its less a problem of Japan's corona situation, but from the American side, the issue of the huge investment in broadcasting rights. So I've a feeling this issue will be cleared up over there.

T: If it came to that, it (the olympics), will probably go ahead right?

J: I think so yes. No matter what Japan's government or the Olympic committee says, if the one with the strongest power (America) says they want to do it, then we'll have to do it, I feel.

K: But this virus mutates doesn't it?

J,.T: Yes, thats right.

K: If that happened, and things worsened, it would be terrible, wouldn't it?

J: Yes, well, at the moment a lot sporting areas, including the olympics, are thinking about spectator-less games etc.. Well, anyway, there is this problem about what to do about the virus, what to do about the olympics but I've heard that Tokyo Sports put out an article relating to the olympics and corona?

T: Ah, yes thats right. Well, we wrote an article about how people infected with coronavirus, could be isolated in the the olympic village.

J: Thats ??? *1

T: But, isnt it the best place? No one is using it...

K: Did they already finish building it?

T: Yes, its finished.

J: Has there been any response from the government about that?

T: Nah, I don't think the government pays much attention to what Tokyo Sports says. *the others laugh loudly*

J: I wonder if any people in the government actually read Tokyo Sports?

T: Oh, a lot of them do, but they think because we are Tokyo Sports, they can ignore what we say. *the others laugh* But, there will be about 18,000 people at the olympics, so for now thats enough space, right?

J: Yes, its enough

T: So people can be properly isolated..

J: and its all set up already..

T: and then if you sterilize it properly, its still really reasonable to use. But I don't think the government will like the idea.

Kami: They sold the land for a really cheap price didn't they?

T: Yes, well...yes.

Kami: For about a tenth of the normal price?

T: Im not so sure about the details.

Kami: Shouldn't it be ok? If they sold it that cheaply? It should be ok, right? *T laughs*

J: Well, thats right. But I think this is a very reasonable suggestion from Tokyo Sports, its quite unlike you guys *K laughs*

T: Yeah, we speak sense occasionally...

J: Even though you usually only write absurd or unlikely stuff, this time its a very reasonable suggestion.

T: We get serious in times of crisis.

J: Oh, is that so? I see.

T: So, after the olympics, they plan to sell of the olympic village as regular apartments. In that case, the value will fall, right? If they have been previously used for corona patients?

J: Oh, is that it?

T: So thats an idea too.

J: I see.

Kami: Its about 30 mins from the station isn't it? So its great for isolating, right?

J: Well, yes, thats true.

Kami: Because its far away...Its perfect really.

J: It is perfect, yeh. It has all the requirements.

Kami: And there's a lot of remaining land around there, right?

T: Yeah, there is.

Kami: If you stop cars and have a bus instead or something, you could build loads of hospitals/sick bays.

T: I think thats a good idea.

J: Me too.

Kami: It would be really effective.

J: Well, testing is a problem at the moment, the number of tests..well, you can't get tested at the moment.

T: Thats right.

K: Some countries are doing drive-thru testing aren't they?

J: Yes. I can't help feeling Japan's approach is a bit muddled.

K: Hmm, but the number of people dying is under control right?

J: Right, yes.

T: Well, Japan's insurace system works really well, we are kind of blessed, medically speaking. But in America, Tamiflu or such costs 25,000 yen.

J: Thats right.

T: So in America, theres people who want to go to hospital, but can't.

J: The cost of hospitals over there is really tough! So if you look at it from that perspective, it might be ok here....Still, the time for the Olympic judges to decide about a postponment is gradually nearing...I feel like its gonna be 'No more waiting!'.

Kami: But, no matter what happens, the olympics probably won't be postponed, right?

J: Yeh, I don't think it will be postponed.

Kami: If they push ahead with it, the athletes will come won't they?

J: Yep

Kami: Professional soccer players and other really rich athletes won't come though. So it will only be athletes who really place value on getting the gold medal, they'll risk catching corona for it, so i think it can be done. Spectators won't come though.

J: Well, there will be fewer spectators, yes. But if you do it in the Autumn, America's professional athletes won't be able to take part and America's medal count will decrease, that will be one problem. If America's medal count decreases, American TV ratings will fall, and if you think about that, it makes me think they will push to go ahead with it in the summer.

T: It looks like the golf player Dustin Johnson and other top players have given up on the olympics.

J: Oh right..

T: Its been talked about that (Tiger)Woods could come instead. Woods would be more popular maybe?

J: Is he ok with it?

T: I wonder if he is? *laughing*

K: We don't even know whether he's ok with it or not.

J: I want to know why he would come.

K: Well, yeh, there are gonna be athletes who don't want to come, right?

J: Oh yeh, there will be, though its strange to talk about. Lots of people cancelled thier trips to Japan with the radiation problem after 3/11 (Great Eastern Japan earthquake and tsunami), so when you think about that...the information coming to Japan, and the information coming to the English speaking world is probably a lot different. The media in Japan works in a very local way, but overseas, they have a lot more channels, and alternative media is really taking off. They have info from various sources, so i think there may be some athletes looking at this and deciding not to come.

K: Asian people are facing a bit of discrimination over there too, aren't they?

J: Yes, thats right.

T: Oh, yeah.

K: Even us, when we were in Europe recently, we were stared at a lot for wearing masks.

T: Really?

K: When we went into a bakery, the bread was all laid out like usual, but they were so annoyed at us.

J: Really? Wow! They treated you as if you were infected?

K: Yes, yes. We were only taking prevention measures. But they don't do that over there do they?

J: They don't.

T: Yeh, it seems like they don't.

K: Well, i don't know about now.

J: So, theres also this problem of discrimination developing now. Its possible that chaos might happen, doing the Olympis in this situation. Thats also another perspective. If someone coughs in the stadium or something, trouble might break out.

T: Thats it.

J: Its a little worrying.

Kami: I don't think there will be any spectators though.

J: Well, maybe thats right.

Kami: They havn't said 'no spectators', but there will be hardly anyone there.

K: Yeh, people won't come.

Kami: Not going ahead with the olympics would probably result in less deficit.

J: Perhaps. But its gonna be really hard for those businesses that rely on the crowds.

Kami: Yeh, bars and such.

T: Bars, and the general night life industry that has a lot of customers who are visiting from overseas.

J: There are a lot of stores near the venues who are feeling like this right now, they've already installed big TVs in advance, or prepared English menus and stuff. They were expecting these customers. So its very painful for the people who have invested, to suddenly lose that. Well, anyway, the night life is really quiet at the moment. Was it last week? I went for drinks at Keisei Tateishi.

T: Oh, cheap bars right?

J: Keisei Tateishi is, yeh, cheap bars. Theres loads of popular places there like nabe, or sushi places, its full from mid-afternoon normally. But it was empty! I was shocked!

K: I went to see a friend's fashion exhibition near Shinbashi, but at night, it was packed!

J: Oh really?

K: They were saying, 'Don't take photos of me', they were trying to keep it a secret from thier company that they had been out drinking.

J: Really? *laughing* Well, a lot of companies are doing work from home now, its awkward if you get exposed going out drinking.

K,T: Yes, it is!

K: Well, we don't know when everything will be opened back up, but to everyone watching, please wash your hands, gargle, get good nutrition, boost your immunity..

T: *laughing* Its like a health show!

J: One thing I want to say is, the virus can't infect rock, and music.

K: Right

J: No mistake about that.

K: Ok, lets finish this installment here. See you again next time. Thank you very much.

*1 Couldn't catch this

#dir en grey #the freedom of expression #薫 #kaoru

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voidimp · 3 years

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can you do 6, 11 (babe...) and 36 for the last questions you reblogged? and how does irem like walking on land?

time for more fish questions

6. do they usually sleep in a certain pose? does it change?

usually kinda curled up either on their side or their stomach!! although theyre probably less likely to sleep on their side underwater since it would sort of block their gills on that side. when they sleep ok their stomach they usually tuck their limbs underneath them with their head down (and tilted so they can breathe obviously), although they do occasionally just. sprawl out. sleeping on their back would be Uncomfortable in or out of water because they have a fin that would get in the way.

11. how do they feel about casual endearments? (babe, etc)

mostly indifferent i think? they might be a little confused if someone called them something like that but they wouldnt mind. they wouldnt rly use those kinds of terms themself tho. theyre more likely to call you an idiot (affectionate)

36. (if they have hair that needs to be brushed) how often do they do so? do they do it gently?

OKAY SO im gonna go into a bit about triton hair in general bc its a thing ive put Thought into & this is a good excuse to talk about it.

tritons dont have actual hair, they just have what tends to resemble hair (and so for the sake of simplicity im calling it hair anyway). the style/texture varies for each individual, but it tends to be at least a little squishy and elastic, and its generally not going to be fine enough that it could really be brushed with a standard hairbrush — you would need a special, extra wide-spaced thick-toothed comb. or like, you know, fingers. a daily brush through with fingers is usually good enough to prevent tangles for most tritons. (webbed fingers do pose a minor inconvenience, so some tritons do actually use special combs instead.) if their hair does get tangled, the strands are big enough that in most cases the knots can be undone fairly easily.

irems hair is about as stringy as it gets; triton hair can be thinner than theirs, but it would also be flatter and wider, more like seaweed. that said, it can also be a lot thicker — theres a wide variety of triton hair types.

tritons all have natural hair lengths that vary from one individual to the next — it will grow out to a specific length and then stop. most tritons keep their hair at this length for their entire lives. haircuts, while not unheard of, are a fairly uncommon practice. besides often being an uncomfortable process, its difficult to maintain a natural look, especially with thicker hair types, where the blunt edge from the cut is much more noticeable. when triton hair is cut, the ends heal and grow back to their natural shape first, and if the hair was cut significantly shorter, it then begins to grow back to its natural length. this presents a challenge when trying to maintain a natural look shorter than the natural length. the hair initially has to be cut shorter than the intended length to allow the ends to grow back properly, and it requires frequent upkeep and trimming to prevent it from growing back out again.

(as a side note, im also toying with the idea of ways to more permanently shorten or lengthen hair — magic being the obvious choice, but im considering my options)

also, fun fact about triton hair (and credit to @mrveils for this whole concept, who very kindly let me steal it): it stings if you touch it!! like a jellyfish. hair touching is considered a very intimate exchange because you have to develop a tolerance for it. i imagine it probably feels different for each individual, otherwise you could just. get used to one & then have no problems touching anyone elses hair. admittedly i havent put a Whole Lot Of Thought into this part mostly bc its. not actually my idea lmao

#oc: irem #ocs #kinda want to tag this as stuff but. eh #im tired... i simply do not have the brain to do tags rn #did i just never answer the last part of this #sorry lmao i probably just didnt even realize. too late to add it now tho (it has been several years)

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transhoverfish · 4 years

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I was wondering

Does Danby now feel bad that he 'faked' his degree in medicine? Like, he must feel really bad for lying to everyone or not being able to help someone properly because he just doesn't know how

I imagine that later in the story he breaks down and confesses, thinking that everyone's gonna hate him. Poor Danby, it must a lot for him since he also has to carry the Jeffrey thing with him

ok off topic first response but did tumblr increase the amount of characters u can have in an ask?? this is the longest one ive seen before :o

and 2nd idk if anyone cares for spoilers regarding my fanfic but like. HERES UR WARNING! spoilers for the latest chapter (8)! im sure nobody cares but better safe than sorry u know!!

AND TO UR QUESTION... i think it didn't bother danby on the aurora or before bc like, in his pda he doesn't seem to be THAT guilty. like he seems to feel bad, but he doesnt really sound like he thinks its a huge problem. because robots and stuff u know?

buuuut after the crash and everything, the group looks to danby! they trust him! and theres no more robots, the pdas all got corrupted, danby has NOTHING on pda. none of them have anything they used to! so if something Happens™, then everyone expects danby to help! this is where danby gets all "oh shit what have i done"

such as the whole Avery Has Been Attacked By Reapers situation! like, the man is straight up dying, avery is totally gonna die if danby screws this up, and i think thats where it reallyyy starts to get to him. bc now danby has to do what he can, make everything else up with their limited supplies, and hope nobody questions him too much on what hes doing or WHY he's doing it. bc if NONE of them know what theyre doing, and they find out that danby has pretty much been idk, breaking the law and potentially putting lives at risk for?? years?? hey maybe that's a Bad Thing. and in danby's eyes at least, a terrible horrible no good secret that no body can EVER find out (except for roman, bc he's ALSO been breaking the law for a while and they can bond over this)

then like. hypothermia. ryley kinda gets that! and THAT is also VERY VERY DANGEROUS, and thankfully the vesper survivors did their research on dealing with cold, bc theyre like the it reason ryley didnt die. and if anyone had asked DANBY how to deal with that, then like... danby barely knows anything of use when it comes to medical help. poor boy would have no idea what do. i mean, you can assume SOME things about hypothermia i guess, just get the person warm, but still. danby also totally fractured his own ribs, which causes Worry amongst the group, and danby DEFINTIELY doesnt know how to properly heal bones, so hes also makin that up as he goes. which freaks him out!! he doesnt want anyone to die!! but what if someone ELSE was hurt!! they could die if danby doesnt figure it out fast enough!!!! bad bad things that terrify my boy!!!

and the whole jeff thing is making everything Worst because danby already feels like he's a bad person for the fake degree, but now like, hes witnessed a full on Murder and hes being blackmailed into keeping that a secret! fucked up! and like, what if jeff attacks one of the others!! what if someone else dies and danby could have prevented it!!! im putting my poor through so much stress :( bc like, obviously telling them about jeff is the Better Option, but hes also terrified of jeff Telling Them and then having everyone hate him!! he doesnt want to lose his new family! but what if he does by telling them!! what if they think hes lying!! what if they believe jeff over him!! theres so many Bad Things that danby thinks can and will happen, so whats he even supposed to DO in a situation like this ya know?? i don't want to get too spoiled but like,,,,this is def not the last time the whole fake degree thing is gonna be a plot element. its gonna be pretty important going forward.....and perhaps someone else finds out 👀👀👀👀

andddd OH MY GOD I WROTE SO MUCH. THE NAME DANBY ACTIVATED A SLEEPER AGENT I GOT SO INTO THIS. but hopefully u like this small Danby tangent i got into...gave him some Author Off-Page Development.....im like the erin hunters rn.....ksbfksbdksbkfbsjf ANYWAYS IM GONNA SHUT UP NOW MY THUMBS HURT FROM TYPING

#danby content danby content da #subnautica: survivors #subnautica: a world alone #danby #serik jevov #keen #ask

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clownkitten · 3 years

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Talking character design here, I cant get over Saturn having a massive war hammer. One that looks way too large or heavy for him to properly wield but instead of just lifting it up and magically being able to use it, he has to throw his weight around with it. I dont know how to explain this but uhm I'm gonna try

So imagine, Saturn holding this massive war hammer and when he swings it it iust throws him around as well.

Hes swinging it down? He has to jump when it smacks down because he has to apply all of his body weight onto the handle to be able to lift it up again.

Swinging it to the side? He has to spin with it because he isnt strong enough to stop mid swing

And because of the size, he has some other advantages as well.

Like say he swings it down but instead of using his weight to lift it up again, he let's it roll so the handle is sticking upright and uses that to hold onto and swing around to deliver a strong kick or something like that.

It's a very impractical idea but I like the idea of him having to develop his own completely unique fighting style. No one could have taught him how to wield his weapon that way. It also adds an element of surprise.

Think of it this way: you're going uo against this small calico cat and hes holding this way too big hammer and your only thought is that this has to be a joke right? Theres no way this little thing can do anything with that,, but he CAN and its impressive how well hes adapted that fighting style.

Obviously theres some background to why he'd choose to use such a massive weapon when he could easily use something else but that's lore for another time,, just accept hes mastered the art

Do I just wanna draw my tiny femboy cat character with a comically large weapon? Yes.

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illfoandillfie · 5 years

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The Dinner Party

Pairing: Ben Hardy x Reader + Rami Malek, Lucy Boynton, Joe Mazzello, Gwilym Lee

Summery: Ben finds out about one of your fantasies and offers to help make it a reality.

Warnings: SMUT 18+ !!! it’s a big ol’ gang bang folks! unprotected sex, dom/sub dynamics, sensory deprivation (blindfolds), gags, restraints, choking, slapping, biting, spanking, oral (f and m receiving), a*al, orgasm denial, overstimulation/forced orgasm, nipple play, fingering, degradation, sexual objectification, handjobs, i think thats everything oh god i dont know theres a lot

Words: 11,538 (jesus)

A/N: I am so sorry I made you wait so long for this one - the last couple of months have been fucking whack as heck. Anyway, I hope she was worth waiting for! I’m gonna go have 12 cold showers in a row and scream for a while.

(its so fucking hard to find photos of all of them together jesus christ)

Taglist: @idontbelievethiss @somekindof-cheese @dtfrogertaylor @ezmina98 @vee-ndetta @atomic-watermelon @kellypenac @labessieisallama @deakyclicks

“So, uhh, that fantasy you sent me the other night,” Ben ran his fingers lightly up and down your arm, “You really got off to that?” You could feel the sweat caught between your back and his chest, skin sticking together where you leaned against him. His hand was heavy on your stomach, moving with you as you wiggled around, trying to decrease the sticky discomfort. “Well, yeah, otherwise I wouldn’t have sent it. Was it too much?” It was something you did when you were away from each other. When you’d been apart for too long and you were yearning for each other's touch. You’d message each other with what you’d thought about while masturbating. Like a lot of the little traditions and patterns you and Ben developed, it had started as a joke. But now it felt weird to not do it. Sometimes it was links to porn videos or erotic stories found online. Sometimes it was reminiscences about previous nights together. And sometimes it was just one word. You. “No, it was pretty hot actually.” This time the distance had been caused by Ben’s filming schedule taking him overseas for three whole months. It was the longest you’d been separated in a while, and your game had turned into a bit of a competition. Trying to one up each other with wilder fantasies. You’d sent the last one, drawing on something you’d thought about a lot but never really divulged to anyone before in order to claim victory. The moment you’d hit send you’d worried it was too much. Ben knew you had a thing for exhibitionism and for being treated like an object, happy to help you indulge in them from time to time, but you’d never really exposed how deep they went. His response amounted to an oh my god and a couple of flushed face emojis. No come back, no one upping. Just three words and two little symbols. You hoped it was because he had nothing hotter to counter with and not because you’d freaked him out too much.

Three days later he was back home, hurriedly removing your shirt within minutes of walking through the door. The sex was neither sweet nor soft, though the way Ben sat up and pulled you against him afterwards, kissing your temple in the process, was both. “Glad you think so. It’s one I’ve thought about a lot.” “And you’ve never mentioned it before why?” “I don’t know, not every guy would be cool hearing about how his girlfriend dreams of being used by a bunch of strangers.” “Okay, yeah, spose that’s fair.” He was quiet for a moment, absentmindedly stroking your skin with feather light touches, “But if you got the chance, you’d really want to do something like that?” “I think so, yeah. Maybe not actually with strangers. Don’t think I’d feel comfortable enough to get into it if I didn’t know and trust everyone there. But in theory, yes.” “What if... what if I could arrange for something like it to happen?” “What?” You sat up straight and turned to face him, convinced you’d misheard him. “If I found some people you were comfortable with who... wanted to help make this a reality would you want to do it?” “You’re taking the piss, right?” “I swear I’m being serious. If you wanted to actually do something like that, I’d be into it. I’d help set it up.” “Are you feeling okay?” you pressed the back of your hand to Ben’s forehead like you were checking his temperature but he just laughed, grabbing you by the wrist so he could bring your hand to his lips. “I feel fine, babe.” His smile hit you like a ton of bricks. Fuck you’d missed that smile. “Can’t blame a girl for checking,” “Look, what you described was incredibly hot and the idea of watching you be used like that...” he trailed off but you didn’t need him to say anything else, his rapidly hardening cock was proof enough. You repositioned yourself on your hands and knees, taking his cock in one hand, “You wanna watch me, blindfolded and restrained, being fucked until im crying? Wanna see me helpless and desperate and used by a whole group of people?” Your strokes along his shaft were interrupted as Ben wrapped his hand around your throat. “I really do,” he growled as he pushed you back onto your knees, “but I think I need to fuck you again, make sure you remember who really owns your cunt.”

Ben didn’t mention it again that week, though he barely let you out of his reach. He always got extra clingy and cuddly after you’d been reunited, surprising you with soft deep kisses and tight hugs at random. Always finding some reason to touch you, a hand on your back while you were standing at the stove, brushing fingers as you slipped past each other in the corridor, clutching your waist as he pulled you onto his lap while you played video games together. You figured he’d forgotten about your conversation now that the immediate heat and need for each other had been replaced with a softer desire to just be close. Not that you minded. You were happy to let that fantasy remain a fantasy, and if you were honest you hadn’t fully believed Ben when he suggested making it happen for real. Until he brought it up about a week and a half after his return.

You were watching TV, resting your head on his shoulder, his arm wrapped around you, when he spoke. “So I got a call from Lucy today, turns out in a couple weeks time the whole band will be in London. We’re planning on meeting up for a few drinks, something like that.” “Oh that’s so great Ben,” you said, pulling your eyes from the ad for bathroom cleaner you’d been mindlessly staring at and looking up at him, “Be nice to see everyone again, all at once.” “Yeah. Actually, I thought I might suggest they all come over here for dinner one night.” “That’s a wonderful idea.” “And, uh, if you were still interested, we could maybe give them all a chance to fuck you.” You choked, an exclamation of surprise catching in your throat. “Sorry, couldn’t resist,” Ben said, almost laughing as he hurried to get you a glass of water. You glared at him through watery eyes as your coughing fit subsided, gulping down the water as soon as he’d handed it over. “What the fuck?” you rasped out once you were back in control of your voice. “I didn’t think you were going to choke. Just thought it’d surprise you. You alright?” “Yeah, fine. But what the fuck?” You grabbed the remote to mute the TV, a signal that you wanted Ben to take this conversation seriously. “It was just a suggestion,” he said with a half shrug, “You said you’d be interested in doing it.” “I am, I just.... They’re your friends Ben, wouldn’t it be kinda weird?” He shrugged again, “Maybe at first. But you said you’d be more comfortable if you knew the people involved. Well, you know them. And I trust them. It’s worth thinking about at least.” You paused, chewing your lip as you took in what he was saying properly, the original shock having passed. It did kind of make sense. “Would… would they be into it?” you said slowly. “I mean, I’d have to talk to them. But, yeah, I think so.” he shrugged slightly. “And you’d be okay with it?” “Yes,” he answered matter-of-factly. “Really? Ben it’s one thing to think about it while you get off or talk about in the abstract. It’s a whole other thing to actually watch your girlfriend having sex with other people, especially your friends.” you shifted in your seat, moving to kneel beside him and reaching out to stroke his cheek, “I don’t want you to do something you’re not fully comfortable with just to try and make me happy. It was my fantasy to begin with and I am totally okay with leaving it like that. Really think about this before you say anything else.” He reached up, taking your hand in his and tracing lines over the back of your fingers, “But I have thought about it. A lot. Kind of non-stop actually. And I want to do it, if you do.” “Really?” “Yes. Look, it’s not like there’s gonna be feelings involved. This isn’t making love on a bed of roses type stuff. I’m not gonna be watching you have a romantic night with anyone. I’m gonna watch you being treated like a living sex toy by multiple people. Probably join in a bit too. And you’re not the only one who can set boundaries. If there’s anything I don’t feel comfortable seeing happen I’ll let everyone know.” You opened your mouth to speak but Ben cut you off. “If you ask me ‘really?’ one more time,” he laughed, pulling you off your knees and onto his lap, “Y/N, I promise you I am more than okay with this. It might have been your fantasy but it was my suggestion to actually do it. If it was strangers involved it’d be different. But the guys? None of them are going to hurt you, they’ll all respect whatever rules we put in place, and they’ll make sure it’s fun.” Your eyes roamed over Ben’s face, looking for any sign of discomfort or unease but all you saw was a plea for trust. “Okay. Talk to them, see how they all feel about it. But if anyone isn’t into it, the dinner stays as just a dinner. Deal?” “Deal.” He rested his forehead against yours, “I love you.” You hummed, kissing him softly. “Love you too, Benny.”

Over the next week Ben talked to everyone individually, gauging their interest in the dinner party and any extra activities that may involve. Some were a little more hesitant than others but by the end of the week everyone was a hard yes. It made your stomach tighten every time you thought about it, anticipation and excitement and nerves building as you counted down the days. You and Ben worked out the rules, where lines would be drawn and where boundaries would lie to ensure the night was safe and fun for everyone involved. You collected supplies, discussed and re-discussed how everything would work as well as planning the actual dinner party aspect – food and drink and music. As the night got closer you found yourself more and more aroused, constantly wet, unable to think about anything else for too long. Ben for his part seemed just as affected by it as you were and you found yourselves naked together much more frequently than you’d expected to. Not once was it rough though. It was like the two of you were saving all your energy for the dinner party, spending the hours in bed having lazy, gentle sex, soft kisses and gasped names and whispered ‘I love you’s. By the time the actual night rolled around you were burning for something harder and faster, looking forward to being used and bruised.

Half an hour before everyone turned up you started to get ready. You’d been wearing your plug all day, at Ben’s suggestion, but it still made you shiver when you caught a glimpse of it as you were getting dressed, the sparkly jewel catching the light as you checked your reflection. The lingerie you’d picked out left very little to the imagination, a crotchless thong and matching sheer bra, the garter belt and stockings the most modest part of the outfit. You fixed your makeup, adding extra mascara and reapplying your lipstick knowing it would just end up smudged.

“They’ll be here in ten babe, you ready?” Ben asked as he knocked on the bedroom door. You took a deep breath, looking over yourself one last time before you left the room. The soft ‘wow’ Ben gave you made you giggle as he led you through your unit to the mixed living/dining room. You’d rearranged the furniture earlier, shifting the coffee table over to the wall which left space for you to kneel in front of anyone on the couch. The dinner table was already laid out for everyone, except you of course, a tray of champagne glasses waiting to be offered around. You headed towards the coffee table, running your hand along it as you checked all the toys were there. Some of them were things you’d used before, some were newly bought specifically for tonight. Each had been carefully considered between you and Ben, only those you were both completely comfortable with being put out.

“Okay, let’s do this,” you said as you headed to your position in the middle of the room. Ben grabbed the spreader bar off the coffee table, attaching the cuffs to your ankles, forcing you to stand with legs wide open. The butterflies in your stomach went wild, everything suddenly feeling more real. “You all good?” Ben asked as he stood back up. “I’m wonderful. You?” “Brilliant.” He flashed you a reassuring smile and pecked you on the lips before turning to pick up the ball gag and press it into your mouth. Your lips stretched around it as he adjusted the fastening at the back of your head. You nodded to show you were comfortable and he turned once more, reaching for the black bandana that was going to be your blindfold for the night. You wanted to touch yourself, relieve some of the pressure that had been building all day but Ben grabbed your hands, pulling them in front of you, palms up. You heard him walk away and then come back with the tray of drinks, placing it carefully on your upturned hands. “Okay, all set. I’m gonna go check the dinner but everyone should start arriving soon. See you afterwards.” You hummed your agreement as he brushed a strand of hair behind your ear and pressed a kiss to your forehead. His touch left you but he was still close by. You felt him lean into your ear, sending a shiver down your spine as he growled a final warning in the voice he reserved for dominating you. “Don’t drop the drinks, slut.”

You were left in almost silence. Your unit wasn’t huge but the kitchen was far enough away that the noise was muffled. Or maybe you were just so aware of how much being left alone in such a vulnerable position turned you on, that outside noise just wasn’t getting through as easily. It was just you and your pounding heart and your steadily growing arousal. Nothing to do but wait and hope your arms didn’t give out under the tray of glasses. You had no idea how long it had been. You’d had about ten minutes when you’d started being set up, surely that time would have passed by now. Saliva was beginning to dribble under the gag and over your lips, trickling slowly down your chin to drip onto your chest. You heard Ben come back into the room, heading towards the speakers he’d set up and beginning to play the mix he’d created, music turned down low so it filled the background without distracting. Still you waited, trying to focus on keeping the tray of drinks balanced. Then suddenly, the buzzer, shocking you slightly and making your heart race. Ben answered, giving whoever it was access to the building and moments later you heard talking at the door, listening intently for who had arrived. “Ben!” “Lucy, looking lovely as always.” A pause, “Rami, great to see you buddy. Head on in, grab a drink and have a look. No touching yet though, we’ve got some rules to go through once everyone’s here.” You heard footsteps, a pair of heels clicking over the floor and the duller noise of someone in flat shoes, getting closer. A girly giggle as two drinks were removed from your tray. You prayed it wasn’t going to change the balance and tip everything over. They were both quiet for a moment. You could feel their eyes on you, looking you up and down. “You know I half thought Ben was joking,” Rami said quietly making Lucy laugh. “Glad he wasn’t.” She said and you heard her heels again as she began walking around you slowly, taking in every inch of your helpless form, “She’s very pretty. Always thought Ben lucked out with her.” “Alright, Luce, keep it in your pants,” “Can’t help it. You know I can’t resist a helpless, restrained toy. And you have to admit she looks like she’ll be fun.” “She definitely does. Almost can’t believe it’s Y/N. She always seemed so sweet and not one for this sort of thing.” “Are you kidding? I knew she’d be into some kinky stuff the first time Ben introduced her to us.” “What? No way,” “Well okay, maybe not the instant I met her. You remember when we were at the restaurant with them, I went to the bathroom with her so I could chat to her, woman to woman, and I caught a glimpse of her wrist. There was a very clear mark that she was trying to hide, looked like it came from too tight handcuffs.” You felt your cheeks grow warm at the memory. God, if you’d known then that Lucy had worked out what you and Ben had got up to that morning, you would have died from embarrassment. But now all it did was turn you on more, heat pooling in your stomach. “God, see that?” Lucy suddenly exclaimed “See what?” “Right there, on the inside of her thigh,” “Oh my god, you’re right, she’s dripping.” The warmth of the oven spread through every room but you couldn’t suppress a shiver running down your spine as they both laughed, continuing to talk about you as if you weren’t there. You heard Ben walk back through the room as the buzzer rang a second time. The door opened and you said a silent thank you that Joe and Gwilym had arrived together, your arms already sore from holding them still for so long. Ben greeted them and told them the same thing he’d told Rami and Lucy – grab a drink, have a look, don’t touch. You were briefly forgotten as the two newcomers entered the room, everyone more focused on greeting each other until Joe asked where they’d got their champagne from. “She’s got them.” “Woah,” “Right?” “Is that really Y/N?” “Go on, have a closer look. She’s absolutely loving this.” “What d’you mean?” “She’s wearing crotchless panties and you can see she’s completely soaked.” “My god,” Your tray lightened again as another two drinks were removed from it. “Where’d Ben go?” “He said something about giving us a chance to have a look around. I assume he meant her.” “Hope he comes back soon, I’m itching to touch her.” “Jeez Luce, didn’t realise you’d be so into it.” “Well excuse me for getting into the spirit of it all.”

They kept talking, the conversation a mix of catching up and comments about you. When Ben came back, his footsteps audible beneath the chatter, he was met by dozens of questions though he wouldn’t answer anything about you straight away. Eventually he took the last glass, leaving you to hold the empty tray despite the ache in your arms, and tapped it with his fingernail to get everyone’s attention. “Sorry, don’t want to interrupt for too long” he said as everyone quieted down, “I just need your attention for a moment. There’s a few rules we need to cover before the fun can really start." He paused and you felt the energy of the room change, an electric current running through everyone as they focused on you and Ben. “Firstly, just to be clear, this has all been set up with Y/N’s consent. Everyone has agreed to participate but of course you aren’t obligated to, and if anything that happens makes you uncomfortable, please talk to me about it.” There was a brief murmur while Ben paused but once he started speaking again it stopped. “Y/N and I can stop the scene at any time. Our safe word is red but obviously it may not be possible for Y/N to speak throughout the night so she also has a safe signal, three slaps against something. It could be the floor or a wall or her own thigh or whatever, but three slaps or the word red means everything stops instantly. There shouldn’t be any need for us to use them though, if everyone follows the rules, which are, one: you can touch or fuck Y/N just about however you want, as long as there is no anal play. You may have noticed she’s wearing a plug tonight but her arse is off limits to anyone who isn’t me.” You whimpered softly behind the gag but Ben ignored you. “Two: For the boys specifically I guess, you are not allowed to finish in her cunt, but down her throat or over any other part of her is fine. Three: We expect some bruises and marks, especially if you choose to use some of the toys provided,” he gestured towards the coffee table, “but please nothing that will leave permanent scars, no burns or blood. Four: Degrading names are fine but stick with things like slut and whore and bitch, nothing too personal. And finally, on a slightly different though no less serious note, five: no forehead kisses or anything that has a romantic connotation. That one is less for her sake than mine. Everyone understand?” There was a chorus of yes’s in response before Ben spoke again. “Good. We trust you, it’s why we were comfortable setting this up and inviting all of you, but my main concern is keeping this fun and safe for everyone, especially for Y/N.” If it weren’t for the restraints and the desire to be good that had practically taken over your brain, you could have melted at the way he said your name. It carried the same weight as the words good girl or the ‘my’ in my slut. But before you had a chance to really appreciate it he’d moved on. “I promise, this is the last thing I’m gonna say. Tonight this is not the Y/N you all know. This is a toy who happens to look like her. She is an object, a breathing blow up doll, here for your entertainment, for you to talk about or talk to or to use however entertains you most. Her pleasure is not the priority. Now have fun.”

Everyone was still for a moment, not quite knowing how to start but then Lucy was coming towards you, the clacking of her heels almost ominous. “Can we get rid of the tray now? Maybe the blindfold too?” She asked. The general chatter started up again behind her but you focused on Lucy’s voice. “Sure thing,” Ben sounded more amused than anything, “You wanna leave her arms out or put them behind her back?” Ben took the tray and you let your arms drop, heavy with the strain of holding them up, a slight ache already in your shoulders. “Restrained I think” “Oi, Gwil, chuck us those handcuffs will you?” He called across the room before he turned back to Lucy, “I’ll give you the keys, Luce, let you decide how long she stays like that.” “Ben, you’ve just made my day,” They were both laughing as you felt your blindfold being tugged off and you blinked as your eyes adjusted to the sudden brightness. “Much better,” Lucy teased, standing right in front of you, her voice low and pouty, “now we can see those pretty eyes.” A familiar hand gripped your wrist, pulling it behind your back, followed quickly by the other one as Gwilym joined Ben behind you and handed over the cuffs, the fluffy black cover in place to make it easier on your wrists. Lucy dragged her hand down the side of your face, distracting you from the two boys behind you. “Look at you, all dolled up for us. Don’t quite know where to start.” Her hand trailed lower, sliding along your jaw and down onto your neck. Your heart raced as the handcuffs clicked into place and Lucy opened her hand as if to choke you. Instead she lightly ran her thumb and fingers down the column of your throat, laying her hand flat once she reached your sternum. You jolted as Gwilym’s hands landed on your arse, grabbing you firmly and almost sending you toppling forward. Lucy continued to trail her hands down your body, squeezing your breasts and teasing your nipples through the thin fabric of your bra. You wanted to beg for more, for them to stop teasing you, but the gag prevented you. All you managed to do was let more saliva drip onto your chest. “She’s got a nice arse, can see why you want to keep it to yourself,” Ben laughed, “Can’t expect me to share everything mate.” “Nice tits too,” Lucy said before she reared a hand back and brought it forward to slap one of them. You whined behind the gag, and Lucy’s face lit up. “Let’s hear that again.” Her hand rose up into the air as Ben grabbed your arms, holding you still as she brought it down on your other breast. You whined again, partly because of the slap and partly because of the way Gwilym’s fingers were sliding along your cunt. Every noise you made only served to cover you in more of your own spit. “You were right about how wet she is Lucy.” “Why don’t you bend her over and fuck her,” Ben said as he let go of your arms, “that’s what she’s here for and I can promise her cunt is just as good as her arse.” He gave you a final tap on the hip as he walked off, winking at you from over Lucy’s shoulder before joining Joe and Rami in their conversation.

The next thing you felt was Gwilym’s hand on your back pushing you to bend at the waist as he grabbed your bound arms where Ben had just let go. You looked up at Lucy as best you could, eyes wide at the sound of Gwilym’s zip being pulled down and the shuffle of his clothing. This was it. This was what you’d been secretly dreaming about for years, or close enough anyway. Lucy bent down slightly, bringing her face to your level as your hip was grasped hard by the man behind you. “She’s gagging for it Gwil, drooling everywhere.” That was the only encouragement Gwilym needed before he was sliding into you through the opening in your underwear, not giving you any time to adjust before he was fucking you hard and fast. The plug in your arse increased the fullness and tightness you felt and you squeezed your eyes shut as his hips snapped against you repeatedly. When you opened them Lucy was gone. Disappointment washed over you, compounded by the fact that Gwil was doing nothing to intentionally push you into an orgasm. His thrusts were forceful and made you whine around the gag but he wasn’t angled the right way to hit your g-spot and he refused to touch your clit. “Slow down for a minute would you Gwil, wanna get that gag off her.” Lucy was back, pulling Rami along by the hand. Gwilym adjusted his pace, slowing enough for Lucy to remove the ballgag from your mouth, a long string of spit dripping from your lips as it was thrown to the side. You gasped out, “thank you,” as Lucy ran her thumb over your chin, pushing the drool back up to your mouth. “Liked it better when you couldn’t talk. Rami, sweetie, why don’t you put her mouth to good use.” You whimpered as Rami released his cock and Lucy wrapped her hand around it, pumping a few times before she threaded her fingers through your hair to hold your head still. “Good girl, keep that mouth open nice and wide for us,” she cooed as Rami eased himself inside. He must have given Gwil some kind of signal that you’d missed, too focused on Lucy’s voice, because both of them began thrusting into you at the same time. This time Gwilym started slower, matching Rami’s pace as he worked himself down your throat, gradually speeding up again. Every noise you made in reaction to how Gwilym was fucking you was lost in a wet gag as your throat was used. Complete contrast to the slapping noises of Gwil’s hips against you and the grunts from both men. You knew they were both going to cum and that, at the rate you were going, you wouldn’t be just yet, and that only made you more desperate to touch yourself. It was very very rarely you’d been able to get off from penetration alone and though you tonight could potentially prove to be another of those times, it certainly wasn’t going to happen this quickly. Lucy must have sensed your need because she began to trail her fingertips down your back as she walked away from your head, eventually bringing her hand to your clit. You moaned as you finally felt some kind of relief, the sound muffled by the cock jammed down your throat. “So needy,” Lucy commented to no one in particular, laughing as she removed her fingers and heard you whine. And then she was back in front of you, sucking on the fingers she’d touched you with as she watched more saliva drip off your chin. “Oh, f-fuck,” you heard Gwilym grunt, his cock twitching as he slowed his hips and pulled out of you. You barely had time to register the sudden emptiness and increased desire before you felt him covering your lower back with his cum. He tapped your arse in appreciation and walked away. Lucy leaned in to whisper something in Rami’s ear and with another two thrust he was cumming too, making you swallow every drop before he fell from your lips and tucked himself away. “Think I need a stiff drink after that,” he said as he headed off to find something, leaving you alone with Lucy. You let out a breath as you stood up again, the ache between your legs stronger after Lucy’s much too brief touch. “Think I could use a top up too actually,” Lucy said as she looked around, “I’ll be back in a minute and then we’ll find another use for your mouth. You whimpered as Lucy walked away as well leaving you alone, unable to move properly, dripping and needy, back itchy where Gwilym’s cum had landed. You could see Lucy talking to Ben as he topped up her glass of champagne, Rami and Gwilym standing with them. Turning your head, you found Joe, standing at the table where you’d laid out the toys that you and Ben were open to people using on you. He picked up the leather paddle Ben liked to use when you needed a punishment, tapping it against his palm a few times. Your instinct was to squeeze your thighs together but the spreader bar prevented you. Instead you watched, holding your breath, as Lucy joined Joe. You could see them talking and laughing, Joe still tapping the paddle against his hand absentmindedly. And then they were both walking in your direction, still talking, Joe still holding that damn paddle. You swallowed hard.

As soon as Lucy was in front of you, she wrapped her hand around your throat again, squeezing slightly as she took a sip of her drink. “I checked with Ben, he said this was okay,” She brought her lips to yours. Your first thought was that they were softer than Ben’s. Your second was that she tasted like champagne and strawberry lip gloss. Your third was how much it hurt when she bit your lip and pulled it. “Had to know,” she shrugged, looking at Joe. “Hey, no complaints here,” “D’you want to uncuff her, or should I?” “I’ll do it, you keep making out,” Lucy giggled as she handed over the keys. “Uncuffing me?” you croaked; voice rough from a mixture of not talking and how your throat had been used. “Only because I want your fingers. Gonna use them and that pretty mouth to get me off.” You whimpered and heard a chuckle from behind you as your wrists were finally released. “She hasn’t even heard what I’m gonna do to her yet,” “I was gonna let that be a surprise Joe,” You rolled your shoulders, stretching the stiffness from them, and confessed that you’d already seen the paddle. Lucy tutted as she undid the clasp of your bra, dropping it to the floor as she turned towards the couch and fell into it gracefully, “Might have to blindfold you again after this. Can’t have you ruining any more of our surprises.” She crooked her finger at you and you awkwardly followed her, the spreader bar inhibiting your movement so that each small step drew everyone’s eye. When you were close enough to grab onto the couch for support you eased yourself to your knees and shuffled as close as you could get. Lucy raised her dress slightly, hooking her leg over your shoulder. You could feel the heel of her shoe resting on your back as you were drawn towards her still clothed pussy, a large wet patch proof of how much fun she’d had so far. You hooked your finger into her underwear, pulling it to the side, just as Joe began to speak to the room at large. Lucy’s hand in your hair kept you focused on her, kitten licking along her lips, as Joe began to take bets on how many spanks you could handle before you begged to stop. You weren't sure who said which number, everyone’s voices bleeding into each other as they argued and defended their bets. The lowest you heard was a pitiful five, the highest you were sure came from Ben who put his money on twenty. After all, he knew he’d reached that with you before. You tried to keep your tongue on Lucy as the talk died down again and the nerves rose in your chest, everyone waiting for the first strike. The was a pause, almost silent, and then the paddle came down against your arse, splitting the air with a sharp slap followed by a chorus of voices counting the first strike. You let out a small hiss as you relaxed back into Lucy, drawing a gasp from her as you circled your tongue around her clit. You were a little more prepared for the second spank now that you had an idea of how Joe moved, how forceful his first one had been. It only made you jolt forward, your hitched breath covered by everyone calling out two! The spanks with the paddle came faster and harder as they progressed, making you gasp into Lucy’s cunt as you continued to lick along her folds, gradually adding your fingers one at a time. By the time they’d reached ten spanks you were fighting back tears, three fingers pumping in and out of Lucy, trying to distract yourself from the sting in your arse by listening to the moans and sighs falling from her lips every time you curled your fingers and lapped at her wetness. You could tell she was getting close, rhythmically clenching round your fingers, her heel digging into your back as you took yet another hit. You sucked Lucy’s clit into your mouth as you pressed your fingers in deep, curling them and making her moan. It didn’t take much more than that to have her cumming, though the way you whined as Joe spanked you again probably helped push her over the edge. You let her ride the orgasm out on your fingers, licking up her release until she pushed you away and let her leg drop from your shoulder. As soon as you were free you felt another spank, this one hard enough to push a sob from your throat and tears from your eyes. Everyone yelled out the number thirteen and you braced yourself for another.

You finally broke, crying out to stop at number twenty-two. Mascara stung your eyes and left black lines down your cheeks in the wake of tears you couldn’t stop. As chatter filled the room once more, discussing your performance and claiming Ben shouldn’t win any money since he clearly knew how long you’d last, you heard footsteps approach. Ben’s hand was warm against the back of your head and for a moment you let yourself drop out of the scene, leaning your forehead against his leg and breathing deep to control your tears. “Hey, that wasn’t too much was it?” Joe asked, eyes flicking between you and Ben. “No, not at all. Y/N knew how much she could take and you stopped when she said so.” “Okay, good. Just wanted to check. You seemed a little tense towards the end there.” “Mate, you’re fine. Just not the easiest thing to watch my girlfriend in that position when I’m not the one controlling how hard or how often she gets hit.” “Yeah, Joe, that was great,” you said, looking up at him through watery eyes, “Broke my record.” “And won me fifty quid,” “Good luck getting everyone to pay up,” he chuckled. For the briefest of moments, it felt like the three of you were just hanging out, joking around over a beer down the pub, until Ben leaned down to ask if you were alright to continue. “Yeah, I am,” you nodded, sitting back on your heels and hissing slightly as they came into contact with your red, stinging arse. Even the pain wasn’t enough to dull the ache between your legs. “Then why don’t you be a good whore and give Joe a proper thank you,” he turned to leave, stopping long enough to tell Joe not to be afraid to be rough. “Well come on, thank me. Haven’t got all night,” Joe towered over you as you hurried to unzip his pants, setting his cock free as you slid them down over his hips. You wrapped your hand around him, thankful to be able to use your hands, as you leaned in to drag your tongue over his tip, collecting the precum that had already begun to accumulate. Clearly he’d enjoyed spanking you. From the way he bucked his hips as you took him between your lips, running your tongue along the underside of his cock, you’d say he enjoyed it quite a lot. He let you set your own pace, bobbing your head as you took him deeper before pulling off him entirely, pumping your hand over his length. Your own need was too much to ignore and you trailed your free hand over your thigh, desperate for some sort of relief. You didn’t get very far though before Joe noticed. “Didn’t say you could do that,” he says as he knocks your hand away with his foot. “Please, Joe, need to cum so bad,” “Things like you don’t need anything. You just want it. Maybe you can convince me though.” He pushed on the back of your head and you took the hint, taking him back into your mouth. He left his hand resting lightly on your head but you could feel the weight of it, aware of how easy it would be for him to hold you down and make you choke. It did nothing to alleviate your desire. “That’s better,” he grunted as you hollowed your cheeks. You picked up the pace, the mere possibility of an orgasm spurring you on. He let out a string of muttered curses as you let him sink deeper, reaching up with your free hand to squeeze his balls lightly. You looked up at him when he grabbed a fistful of your hair, eyes meeting as he snapped his hips towards you, making you gag. When he brought his other hand to your hair you knew you weren’t in control anymore. All you could do was brace your hands on his thighs and try to relax your throat as he thrust into you again and again, heedless of your comfort, your breath, your choked moans. You knew he was getting close by the way he sped up, grunting as he held you down. And then he was out of your throat, covering your chest with his cum while you desperately sucked air into your lungs. You were still gasping when he pulled you back to your feet. He lazily trailed his fingers down your stomach, stopping right before he reached where you wanted him most. “Joe, please,” “No. Didn’t convince me. But maybe someone else will take pity on you.” He withdrew his hand, walking away.

Once again you were going to take matters into your own hands when you were stopped, this time by Ben who was clearly keeping a close eye on you. “Uh uh uh, that’s not allowed.” he said as he grabbed your wrist, pulling your hand away from your dripping cunt, “if you don’t play along properly we’ll have to stop the game, and then you definitely won’t get to cum.” You whined as he pulled the black bandana from his pocket and tied it round your eyes again. “Didn’t expect you to lose this so quickly, let’s see how long it lasts before Lucy takes it off again.” You nodded, vision removed once more. “Now, are you going to be good or should I tie your hands up again?” “I’ll be good.” “Good. Can’t have you misbehaving in front of everyone.” He gave your arse a swat, making you whimper, as he walked off, leaving you alone and unable to see. It didn’t last long, the being alone part at least. One of the guys, you couldn’t tell who, trailed his fingertips over your collarbone, raising goose bumps and making your breath quicken. He remained quiet, giving you no hint to his identity, as he moved up your neck, fingers coming to rest where it met your jaw. He tilted your head to the side as he leaned in to attach his lips to your skin. You could feel your pulse beating hard under his tongue, a moan dropping from your lips as he kissed his way down your throat. He sunk his teeth into your shoulder before he left chuckling at the way you’d cried out. About a minute passed and then another set of hands were on you, rougher than the last. He, whoever he was, grabbed your wrist pulling your hand out so he could spit into your palm before wrapping your fingers around his cock.

This was exactly how your fantasies normally went – just you and a series of anonymous people using your body however they wanted, rutting into your hand, squeezing your throat as they pinched and pulled your tits, bending you over so they could shove their cock into your mouth or examine the bruises forming on your arse. You could hear snatches of conversations as you were pulled around by numerous hands, never quite sure who was touching you at any given time. On your left you could hear Joe telling someone about the road trip he went on with some friends last month. The juxtaposition of such a casual conversation while you were being fingered to within an inch of your life made your head spin. It was the third time you’d heard the story during the night. Right before he got to the part about almost being left in a truckstop bathroom you heard the familiar click of Lucy’s heels. She was the only one you were certain of when she came close. Well, her and Ben – you had no trouble picking his footsteps or scent from everyone else’s. Perhaps you could have worked out the others except that thinking was becoming harder to do. Your body was covered in splatters of cum at various stages of drying, making you itch, your arse smarted, and you felt like if you didn’t cum soon you were going to combust. You’d been close more times than you could count but never quite got there before those who were fucking you pulled out and left you with their cum straining your underwear or dripping from your lips. You moaned as the fingers still pumping into you sped up. “C’mon Gwil, be nice and let her cum, she looks desperate,” So that was who was tormenting you at the moment, Gwilym was the reason you’d been saying nothing but the word please for the last three minutes. “Think you mean pathetic,” he made no move to alter his pattern “Well if you wont, I will,” her fingers drifted down towards your clit, circling you slowly as Gwilym continued finger fucking you. It only took a few seconds for her to have you moaning out your release, coating both their hands in your juices as you rode the orgasm for as long as they let you. “Thank you,” you said breathlessly as both of them removed their hands from you. Gwilym tapped his fingers against your lips until you let him push them into your mouth. Leaning into your ear he softly said, “I’m going to fuck you again before the night’s done. Properly.” You heard him retreat but then Lucy was grabbing your hand, placing it between her own legs. “Fair’s fair.” She was wet, her cunt welcoming you with a squeeze as you let two fingers slide into her. You began to build a steady pace, searching for that spot that would make her knees buckle. She threw her arms over your shoulders for support as you added a third finger, her nails digging into you as you let your thumb land on her clit. Her moans were muffled by your neck as you pushed her closer to her release, curling your fingers and stroking until she came on shaking legs. “I’m going to have to ask Ben if I can borrow you for a night. Chain you to my bed and play with every inch of you until I can’t cum anymore.” You lost track of how long you’d stood there, being repositioned over and over. Sometimes you had less than a second before one cock was replaced by another, sometimes you were left alone for what felt like hours, listening for any hint of someone approaching but only hearing the conversations happening around you.

When Ben announced that dinner was ready everyone moved toward the table, replacing chairs they’d moved around during the night, a couple of people giving you a last squeeze or slap as they passed. Ben knelt down to release your feet and you almost collapsed against him as he led you towards your designated seat. It was one of the chairs taken from the table everyone sat at, pulled off to the side so you were still within view without being the center of attention. He pulled your arms behind the chair, securing you in place with the handcuffs so you couldn’t move. You could smell the roast Ben had spent the afternoon preparing, along with all the accompanying sides that you’d helped him make. “Is Y/N not eating with us then?” Lucy asked. “Toys don’t need to eat,” “She’s probably full anyway,” Joe said matter-of-factly, “y’know, from how much she’s swallowed tonight.” There were snorts of laughter amongst the tinkling sounds of cutlery and glasses, followed by the melodic buzz of talking, sometimes discussions that involved the whole table, sometimes just kept between two or three people. Occasionally you heard your name mentioned making you jump and focus on the conversation. More often than not it was Ben mentioning you in passing as he talked about the day trip you’d taken to the beach last week or something else equally mundane. But the few less innocent comments you heard made you squirm. Hearing Rami describe how incredible your tits were was enough to have you whimpering, and hearing Gwil talk about how hot you sounded when you came had you clenching your thighs together in your chair. “Fuck, look at her now,” Joe said, accompanied by the sound of someone shifting their chair for a better look, followed by a louder, “you alright?” directed towards you. You whined, knowing you sounded completely desperate but beyond caring, as you tried to get some sort of relief. “Needy whore,” “Wants to be fucked some more,” said with an accompanying laugh. “Someone should do it. Dinner and a show.” “Nah, let her squirm a bit longer,” “If you boys are quite done, I think I have an idea,” “She’s all yours,” You whimpered as Lucy pushed her chair back, listening as the sound of her shoes went past you and then returned a few seconds later. You got a whiff of her perfume, floral and sweet, as she leaned down, hands resting on your thighs. You could feel something pressed between her palm and your leg but couldn’t work out what it was, not with her talking to you so softly, her breath tickling your ear and sending a shiver through you. “You wanna cum again, don’t you? Poor thing.” All you could do was nod, whimpering out a soft, “please.” You were already trembling as she knelt between your legs, caressing your thighs softly before she hooked her fingers into the band of your thong and slid it off you. She lifted one of your legs onto her shoulder so she could push the unknown object into you before she let your leg drop back down and stood up again. You were panting, unsure why she’d teased you so, as she took her seat again. “What’d you do, Luce? Nothing happened,” Rami barely finished speaking when you felt the egg vibrator come to life and a small oh slipped out of your mouth. The vibration increased sending you hurtling towards the orgasm you so badly wanted. You clenched your legs together as you moaned through your release, Lucy reducing the power of the vibrator as you came down. You had maybe five seconds to compose yourself before it was being turned back up again, pulling a string of moaned expletives from you as you fell into another orgasm much more quickly than you ever had before. “There’s your show,” Lucy laughed over your whines as your sensitivity grew. “Pass me the controller for a minute,” Joe said, “how do you use it?” “Just spin that wheel, up makes it vibrate more,” “Like this?” You jerked in your chair as it got stronger, whimpering when he turned it down again. “Oh, easy. Think I’m a little scared of you now Luce.” There was laughter as you tipped over the edge again.

They didn’t let up until they’d had their fill, finishing their dinner to the sound of your heavy panting and moaned requests to stop as you unsuccessfully tried to squirm away from the constant vibrations. The controller was passed from person to person, each one changing the settings according to their own whim. For a while you were left with a low-level buzzing as the controls sat by Gwil’s plate, untouched, giving you as much respite as you could hope for under the circumstances. But then it was back in the hands of Joe who delighted in making you scream as he turned it up high. By the time everyone had eaten their last bite and complimented the meal, the controls were in Ben’s hands. If you’d hoped for leniency, for a kind word of praise as he set you free, you’d hoped wrong. Ben did halt the vibrator, turning it off as he walked towards you and removed your blindfold again, but he also twisted his hand through your hair so he could tug your head up, forcing you to look at the table. Four pairs of eyes were fixed on you as Ben spun the controls to the highest possible setting, watching as your hips bucked and your back arched as much as your bound position would allow you. You couldn’t even scream as you came again, your voice catching in your throat as all the air was pushed from your lungs at once. When he was satisfied with your performance, Ben turned it off and reached between your legs to pull the egg from you, pocketing it as he began collecting dirty dishes with the help of an insistent Lucy, leaving you twitching in the chair. You closed your eyes for a second in an attempt to settle your pounding heart, opening them to find Rami standing in front of you. “I know you lost count of how many orgasms you just had,” he said softly as he kneeled between your legs, “but I’m going to take another one from you.” He pushed your legs wider, probing at your entrance with two fingers as he rubbed your clit with his other hand. You didn’t think you could cum again but his unhurried movements built you up despite how sensitive you felt. He watched your every reaction as he changed the angle of his fingers until he found your gspot. You shook as you tipped over the edge again, unable to resist his steady strokes. “Good girl, knew you had another one for me.” he said as he wiped his hands on his pants.

“What do you think Rami?” Joe asked as he and Gwilym approached. “What do I think about what?” “Best way to play with a girl’s nipples,” “Oh, I guess, like this,” Rami reached out with one hand, pinching your nipple and rolling it between his fingers before tugging it away from your body, making you loudly whine. “Is that really your favourite way?” “It’s a classic. Simple. Easy to control. You can add a twist,” he twisted your nipple until you tried to jerk away, “for a little extra pain if she’s into that.” Joe scoffed, “You cannot beat sucking on a nipple. It’s clearly the best way,” he lowered his head to your chest, his breath fanning out over your sensitive nipple as he moved closer. He took it into his mouth, tracing his tongue around it and sucking gently. Your eyes fluttered closed, releasing a soft moan at how good it felt until he suddenly clamped his teeth down, making you wince. “See? Nothing beats a little bit of tongue and teeth. Well okay Gwil, since you clearly disagree, you wanna demonstrate for the class?” “I don’t necessarily disagree. It just depends on what you want to achieve.” Joe raised his eyebrows and waved his hand, inviting Gwilym to go on. “Well if you want her to moan then yeah, either of your methods is great. But if you’re looking for something a little more painful, maybe more of a punishment, you can’t beat the flick.” Without any warning he dropped his hand towards your other nipple, flicking it quickly, making you jolt. “It’s especially good if you surprise them with it after you’ve been fairly gentle. And the more you do it, the more it hurts.” “Show me again?” Gwilym repeated his flicking motion on both your nipples at once, and then again, each one sending a shock of pain through your chest. You whimpered as his fingers were replaced by Rami’s on one nipple and Joe’s on the others, both testing the flick for themselves. “Okay, that’s pretty good.” “I’ll expect your cheques in the mail soon,” “Wonder what Ben thinks,” Joe said, heading off to find out, followed by Rami. Gwilym stayed behind. “What say we get you out of those cuffs now?” Gwil said as he picked up the keys from where Ben had left them near you. You nodded, expecting there to be a catch, but he leant down behind you and unlocked your restraints without another word. You brought your arms to your front, rolling your wrists, but didn’t have time for anything else before he was dragging you from the chair to the table and pushing you down over it. “Told you I was gonna fuck you again.” Your nails scratched over the smooth surface of the table, looking for something to cling on to as he bottomed out. The best you could manage was to grasp the side of the table, knuckles turning white and plea for him not to stop, as he fucked you. You clenched around him, reaching your peak and falling into an underwhelming orgasm right as he pulled out of you. Before you could stand up again he was pulling you backwards and pushing you to your knees. “Mouth,” he grunted and you had a few seconds to register the way Gwilym was pumping his fist over his cock before he was coating your lips and chin. You had just enough time to swallow what you could lick up before Rami pushed his cock between your lips. It took you by surprise, not having realised the others had returned but you tried to stay relaxed as he thrust into your mouth a couple of times before Joe replaced him. Your hands flew up to grasp their shafts as you alternated between them, sucking one as you jerked the other. Suddenly your hair was being tugged on as Lucy spun your head towards her. She used her free hand to remove her underwear and you obediently leaned in to suck her clit, still jerking Joe and Rami. Lucy pushed you closer to her, your nose nudging her clit as your tongue wandered lower, pulling a few softly spoken expletives from her. You felt like you’d just found the perfect rhythm to please the three of them when you were grabbed under your arms and pulled away. You were dropped on your feet in front of Ben, who sat on the couch. He spun you round and you squealed as he swatted your still sore arse but you bent over for him all the same, trying to relax as he carefully removed the plug he’d wiggled into you that morning. The lube was cold as he squirted a generous amount onto you, using his fingers to make sure you were ready before he pulled you backwards, spreading your cheeks as you slowly sunk down onto him. “Breath,” he said into your ear and you realised you’d been holding your breath, “You good?” “Mmhmm,” you tilted your head back, eyes closed as the stretch settled into a deep fullness. Ben leaned into the back of the couch, almost lying down, and you felt your legs being spread. You barely had time to react to Rami plowing into your cunt, the moan getting caught in your throat as Joe filled your mouth with his cock. Somewhere to your left you could hear Gwilym and Lucy laughing about you being sealed airtight but the joke barely registered in your brain, much too concerned with how incredibly full you were. Joe timed his thrusts to match Rami’s, the force making you rock on Ben’s cock even as he stayed relatively still. Your eyes fluttered shut, stray tears clinging to your eyelashes as you tried not to let the mix of sensations overwhelm you. You felt the couch dip a little as Lucy knelt beside you, grabbing your hand and placing your fingers at her entrance. She rocked against your hand, chasing the release she’d been close to getting from your tongue. Gwil grabbed your other hand, wrapping it around his cock, but you hardly noticed his rutting as Ben suddenly thrust up into you. Your whole body felt hot, a fire spreading through you as you were fucked from every angle, a fuzz settling in your brain as the pleasure took over. You shook as an orgasm rolled through you, Rami pulling out of you and jerking himself off onto your tits. As soon as Rami stepped back Joe took his place, pushing deep into you as Lucy brought your head to her chest. She arched her back into you as you sucked a nipple into your mouth. Joe and Ben were so in sync as they thrust in and out of you, filling you more completely than you’d ever felt before. “Fuck,” Joe grunted as he pulled out of you, cumming over your stomach. You whined as Lucy pushed three fingers into your overly sensitive cunt, your head being pulled away from her breasts so Gwil could fuck your throat. Your own choked moans echoed in your ears as your whole body buzzed and your vision slipped in and out of focus. You felt like you were floating between them, unable to find anything real to cling on to or ground you. You were vaguely aware of Lucy’s rapidly increasing ohs as she rubbed her clit and reached her own release on your hand. She continued to pump her fingers into you, curling them until you were seeing stars. The moan you made around Gwil’s cock had him cursing as he filled your mouth with his cum, watching it drip over your lips as he pulled out. You hastily sucked in a breath of air, it going some way to making you feel less lightheaded, but the breath was quickly pushed from your lungs again as Ben grasped your hips and began to slam you down on his cock repeatedly. It didn’t take him long to reach his own climax, pulling out as he released his load so that it dripped down between your legs.

You still felt floaty and dizzy as Ben picked you up and lay you down on the couch with a pillow under you head. “She’s done guys,” he said to the rest of the group, nodding his head to the table as an invitation to join him. Everyone stayed a little while longer, sitting around and talking over coffee and cake like it was a regular dinner party, like they hadn’t just collectively fucked you into a different realm. You stayed curled up on the couch, dozing on and off as you gradually got the buzzing in your body to stop. Your dazed state stretched on as everyone left, snatches of goodbyes floating to you from the doorway. When you thought back a week later you could distinctly remember hearing Gwilym say he’d love to do that again if you were ever going to repeat the experience. Once the door was shut and the music stopped, Ben knelt down by your head, brushing your hair away from your face. “Y/N?” He said softly. You blinked your eyes open and smiled up at him. “That was fun,” you felt groggy and tired but you laughed as Ben pulled you into a tight bear hug, “You shouldn’t hug me Ben, I’m covered in cum and smudged makeup and lube and whatever else, gonna ruin your clothes.” “Clothes shmothes. As if I’m not gonna hug you after that. You were fucking incredible.” You buried your face in his neck, breathing deeply. “How do you feel?” “Like I need a shower.” “How about a bath?” “Even better.” Ben kissed the top of your head before he let you go, wrapping his arm around your waist as he led you to the bathroom. You picked up a facecloth as Ben ran the bath, using it to clean the mascara tear tracks and smudged lipstick from your cheeks and chin. “Let me help,” Ben said softly, dropping to his knees and unhooking your stockings from the garter belt, sliding both down your legs and throwing them into the laundry hamper. You ruffled his hair in gratitude, the tiredness you felt only getting more pronounced as the seconds slipped by. The tub wasn’t full but you needed to sit down, carefully stepping over the edge and easing yourself into the hot water. Ben quickly shed his own clothes, adding them to the hamper, and climbed in behind you. You stayed sitting just long enough to turn the water off before the tub overflowed, and then leaned back against Ben. “How do you feel?” he asked again as he picked up your soap and washcloth, “now that you’re in a bath I mean.” “Tired and a little sore. And kinda feel like crying but I’m not sure why.” He ran the washcloth along your shoulder and down your arm, beginning to scrub your skin clean. “Well I’ve booked you in for a massage tomorrow afternoon, so that should help with the sore. As for the tired, I am gonna make you stay awake a little longer, but you can relax while I take care of you and you can sleep in tomorrow.” “And the random crying?” “Just your brain rebalancing. It was flooded with a bunch of endorphins and different emotions. Cry as much as you need to, it’s cathartic and it’ll make you feel better.” You nodded, tilting your head back to look at him, “did you have a good time?” “Absolutely. That was so unbelievably hot. Definitely gonna keep me going next time I’m away,” You both laughed softly as he gently pushed you forward so he could wash your back. He pushed your hair out of the way and traced his finger over a mark on your shoulder. “You got a few souvenirs from tonight,” “Is that the bitemark?” “Yeah. Do you know who left it?” “Not really. At the time I thought it might be Rami but I’m not sure. What else have I got?” “Couple red spots where people slapped you. Quite a few scratches.” “Lucy,” you both said at the same time with a chuckle. Ben kept talking to you as he shampooed and conditioned your hair and while he wrapped you in a big fluffy towel. He kissed you on the forehead again and told you to go hop into bed, that he’d be with you in a moment. “And don’t go to sleep yet either. I’ll be quick.” You did as he asked, having just enough energy to slip into one of his tee shirts and a fresh pair of undies before hopping under the covers. You snuggled down deep, closing your eyes as your head landed on the pillow, ignoring Ben’s request to stay awake. But, try as you might, sleep wouldn’t come. Your body was too amped up, still kind of horny despite everything, leaving you simultaneously dead tired and wide awake. Sitting up again you reached for your laptop, figuring you might as well watch some Netflix or something. And then the tears started, virtually out of nowhere. When Ben came back, in fresh pyjamas straight from the clean washing yet to be put away, he found you hunched over, clutching your knees to your chest and crying uncontrollably. He placed the items he was carrying down on his bedside table before he joined you in bed, wrapping his arms around your shoulders as you leaned into his chest. He rubbed your back and mumbled soft words of praise until you managed to stop. “Sorry,” you said as you wiped at your eyes, “it just hit me,” “Nothing to apologise for babe, I told you to let it out. Do you feel better?” “A bit, yeah,” “Here, brought you something,” he handed you a glass of water and a plate of food, everything from the dinner you’d been unable to eat, put aside especially for you, “wanted to make sure you ate something and drank some water before you slept,” You nodded already biting into a warm potato. “What d’you want to watch?” “Don’t care, as long as I don’t have to think.” He picked an episode of Brooklyn Nine-Nine at random. You’d both seen it before so it wouldn’t matter if you fell asleep while it played but it was funny enough to keep you entertained as your brain and body relaxed. After you’d finished eating Ben offered you a row from a block of chocolate claiming it’d help your body balance itself and feel more normal. You didn’t know if that was true but you ate it regardless. Finally he was ready to let you settle down. He got up to turn the light off as you packed away the laptop and once again snuggled down under the covers. You hissed slightly as he slid in behind you, coming into contact with your bum. “Shit, I’m sorry babe, should have got a cold compress on that earlier,” “‘s alright. Do it tomorrow, it’ll be fine.” your eyes were much too heavy to be worried about how you’d bruise. Ben agreed, pulling you against his chest carefully. “I love you Y/N, so much,” he said softly as he leaned his head against your neck. You were already asleep.

#ben hardy x reader #ben hardy smut #borhap cast smut #borhap cast imagine #rami malek x reader #lucy boynton x reader #joe mazzello x reader #gwilym lee x reader #my writing #(it took a little longer than 10 mins to get up #cause i had some problems with formatting #but its here #its long (maybe too long lmao)#its filthy #god how did i get here?

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suckasstakenames · 5 years

Note

Okay now do all the other ones for tyde 😘

ALRIGHT ALRIGHT SHEESH

(I’m gonna copy n paste the hcs I did before so they’re all together n stuff (’: )

BRACE YOURSELVES ITS A LONG ONE

Tyde Headcanons:

1. Who makes the first move and how?

Token makes the first move. He’s quick to notice a change in Clyde’s behaviour and probably brings it up to him. Clyde’s most likely the one to develop strong feelings first but I think he’d refrain from making any moves because of their friendship, and I think Token will pick up on that (cause he’s a clever boy) and try and push it, perhaps even flirt with him just to make him more flustered 👀

2. Who is the most insecure and what makes them feel better?

CLYDE 100%. Attention and affection makes him feel better, comfort food, and being reassured that he’s a good person 😋 also soft Disney movies and movies about animals

3. Who is the most romantic?

Do I even need to say it? TOKEN. It doesn’t get any more romantic that him

4. Who can’t keep their hands to themselves?

Both of them for different reasons. Clyde is needy as fuck and lives for attention, and Token when he’s in a certain mood can get pretty touchy feely, like stroking Clyde’s hair or rubbing his back.

5. Who says ‘I love you first’?

Ooooo that’s a tough one……it could be either one of them. But I’m gonna say Clyde because I feel he likes to express his emotions no matter what, and one day he just blurts it out

6. Who would they ask if they ever had a threesome?

Kenny probably. Or, depending on his relationship situation, Craig. I think they’d prefer Craig from knowing him better though

7. What do they get up to on a night out?

Oh my god what DON’T they get up to on a night out? It’s mainly just Clyde being a bad influence and Token trying not to give in (and failing). They sing a WHOLE lot, do stupid dances together, and always drink more than they should. But Token is only ever like this when he’s with Clyde.

8. What do they like in bed?

Token likes to worship Clyde because he knows it makes him feel special. He’ll give and give and not expect anything back. I also think Clyde would randomly walk in wearinng some of Token’s clothes because he knows that drives him wild.

I ain’t gonna get TOO nsfw on main (I have a fair few hcs in that respect!) but I think they’d roleplay, but not seriously? Because they’re both massive dorks and will just laugh hysterically at each other and use THE cheesiest pick-up lines they can come up with 😭

9. What is the most embarrassing thing they’ve done in front of each other?

Clyde probably did something stupid infront of Token’s family like choke on his food when they’re out for a meal or something (K, Cori, I see u)

As for Token….idk?? Maybe he performed for the first time to Clyde on his own and got super embarrassed about that??

10. What two songs, two books, and two luxury items do they take to a desert island?

Idk probably a Post Malone song and a James Brown song PVGFDFGT

I don’t really read a whole lot of books???but they prolly both belong to Token (help me in comments rip) and as for luxury items, an instrument? or a game they can play together? actually they’d probably need something to play the songs on LMAO

11. What do they hide from one another?

Not a lot. Starting off as best friends had it’s perks

12. What first changes when it starts to get serious?

They both start losing their cool completely. They start acting awkward around each other, they start getting hesitant when they’d usually tell each other everything. The most simple interactions become much harder

13. When do they realise they should get together?

When it gets awkward enough to notice. When it truly starts to affect their friendship

14. When one has a cold, what does the other do?

Token goes into mom mode. Takes him in, wraps him up in like three blankets, puts on his favourite movies and tv show and will whip up a kickass soup to make him feel better.

Clyde will also take him in and run around doing stuff like going out and buying treats. He’ll get really defensive towards anyone else like “LEAVE HIM ALONE HE’S SICK” and he’ll always be worrying about whether he’s doing a good job at looking after him.

15. When they watch a film what do they choose and why?

Usually comedies or some really dumb film that they can just laugh hysterically at. Clyde will have the last say because theres a chance he COULD cry if an animal dies or something.

16. When the zombie apocalypse comes, how do they cope together?

It’s basically Token who runs the joint, Clyde just follows along like a lil sheep. But they do learn new things together like how to properly kill the zombies. And while Token does the majority of the thinking, they help each other out equally.

17. When they find a time machine, where do they go?

back to a time when funk and jazz music were popular so Token can have a field day

18. When they fight, how do they make up?

They forgive each other SO easily, so it takes just a cuddle and both of them are fine LOL

19. Where do they go on their first date?

Somewhere super casual, like their favourite diner or something

20. Where do they go on holiday?

Somewhere sunny, not a city but rather somewhere more set out from civilisation so they feel like they’re on their own

21. Where do they get nervous about going with one another?

Being in front of each other’s families

22. Where does their first kiss happen?

At a party when they’re both drunk

23. Where is their favourite place to be together?

I can imagine sometimes they just drive into the middle of nowhere at night and sit on top of a hill or something and just talk for ages? And when its cold they’ll take a blanket and just snuggle up

24. Where do they first have sex?

On Clyde’s sofa during movie night

25. Why do they fight?

usually because Clyde’s paranoid about something, or Token (rarely) loses his patience

26. Why do they need to have a serious chat?

Because one of them is worried that they might lose the closeness they had in their friendship

27. Why do their friends get annoyed with them?

mostly during nights out because of how drunk they get together? But also because they can get too soppy

28. Why do they get jealous?

Spending too much time with another guy in their friend group

29. Why do they fall a little bit more in love?

Because of the fact that they’re not just lovers, they’re best friends, and they’ve spent their entire life together so that they can’t imagine how they’d cope without each other

30. Why does it work (or not work) between them?

Just gonna…..casually scratch out that bracket because there’s no way it won’t work

#some n/s/f/w mentions #GASPS FOR AIR #THAT TOOK ME A WHILE #tyde #sp tyde #south park tyde #token x clyde #clyde x token #asks #anon

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albyfm · 4 years

Text

˙✫*ﾟ YUNGBLUD , DEMIBOY , HE/THEY :･ did you hear alby miller is joining the cast of exposed after their habit of facilitating drugs at events, festivals & awards shows was revealed ? the twenty-three year old bass guitarist with 500k followers is trying to clear their name . they've become known as the resident juvenile in the mansion , and it's clear that's spot on because they're quite - recalcitrant & - stuck in their ways , but also + charismatic & + outspoken . you know they're heading to the confession booth if you hear lonely boy by the black keys blasting , most likely talking about how they're more than disheveled outfits of black leather & denim, talking way too candidly to the press, smashed lenses of paparazzi cameras that got too close, an unmistakable mischievous grin & an inability to express real feelings.

hey !! finally getting around to posting this. you can call me aries, i’m 23 and in the bst ( uk ) timezone. my pronouns are she / her. i’m a little lost art school grad with a lot of student debt, a taste for red wine and an unhealthy obsession with arctic monkeys. not gonna lie, i whipped this kiddo up specifically for this rp so i’m still getting used to them, but hopefully with this intro you’ll get a feel for what they’re about. without further ado, here’s alby—

trigger warnings & disclaimer: mentions of hard drugs, alcohol, anger issues, destructive tendencies. my intention writing this intro was not to glamorize or romanticize these things in any way but if anything i have written comes across that way, please lmk!

smash that ♡ to plot or hit me up on discord @ chaotic aries#5793 !!

‘and this is how it starts...’ ( the basics )

name: alby fox miller age: twenty-three gender: non-binary ( demi-boy ) pronouns: he / him & they / them date of birth: may 24th 1997 zodiac: gemini sun, pisces moon, aries rising orientation: pansexual occupation: bassist for drive like i do career claim: ross macdonald ( the 1975 ) genre: alt-pop, pop-rock

‘it’s the way we are, we were smoking by eleven & knocking ‘round town...’ ( background )

you’re born in 1997, in the north west of england. wilmslow, to be exact. a quaint and affluent town, just south of manchester. the family you’re born into is a comfortable one. not quite living lavishly, but not at all struggling, either. your parents both work in business out in the city. you go to a good school. but... all is not how you exactly want it to be.

see, your parents are quite pushy. they expect you to live how they want, rather than how you do. at the all boy’s academy they enroll you in as a teenager, they expect you to pick what they deem as intellectual subjects, such as foreign languages, further mathematics and computer science. there’s a focus on you becoming someone that makes a lot of money, rather than someone who is happy.

but you’re... not the kind of person that can be molded so easily. you’re a fairly happy-go-lucky kid, but also a rebellious one. your parents’ strict ways of trying to force you down their chosen path, only encourages you more heavily to choose your own.

at fourteen, you meet the guys. lennox, jovi & jasper. they’re some of the only kids at school who can be bothered to be around you, with your high energy and bolshy attitude. really, they’re the only people who embrace you for who you are. they encourage your weirdness and outspokenness. it’s not long before you find yourself wanting to do everything together. it’s not long before the four of you are inseparable.

from there, you fully detach from everything your parents want you to be. you embrace your individuality. you also find the courage and bravery to come out to your parents as non-binary at the age of sixteen. there’s not a single person’s opinion that you’re afraid of, or even care about.

it’s not all rainbows & sunshine, though. you struggle somewhat with anger issues, and a bit of depression. you’re also practically addicted to getting into trouble: picking fights with bullies at school, selling weed & pills to your friends around town, underaged drinking... you get the gist. though you keep your fears internal, you sometimes worry you’ll get nowhere in life.

so of course, the second the boys are talking about starting a band, you’re all in. imagine if you made it big someday? wouldn’t that be sick? you’re immediately drawn to bass guitar, and use a month’s worth of saved up pocket money to pick one up from the big music store in the city. thankfully, you pick it up quite quickly, because before you can even realize it, things are getting so... real. by sixteen, you don’t feel you have the option to stick around at school for sixth form, because drive like i do is already playing local venues and working on its first album.

you’re just seventeen when the album is released. somehow, the climb to fame is faster than you could have ever imagined. it seems like yesterday you were still watching bass tutorials on youtube in your bedroom and practicing in your friend’s garage after school. first is some notoriety across the uk, but before you know it — boom! global stardom. the fame is a heavy weight for someone so young to carry... but fuck it, it’s gonna be fun, and you know it.

you’re twenty-three now, and days are gone of pipedreams formed in your parent’s shoebox room. you split your time between manchester, london, and LA — and that’s just during rare moments of downtime from your world tours. your band is 4 albums in, and whoever hasn’t heard of you might as well have been living under a rock. is it narcissistic to think like that? maybe, but you don’t care. this is rock n’ roll, baby. this is the life.

naturally, all eyes are mostly on your very outspoken frontman. he’s controversial, but the media can’t get enough of him. as for you? to them, you’re... the band’s problem child. while you argue that your behavior is no different than that of your friend, he’s got the lead singer charm. they don’t seem to like you as much. why? well...

‘drink, fall, spew...’ ( troublesome tendencies & exposed secret )

you never really coped as well as you acted like you did, did you? while you were grateful for the fame, everything was... a lot, and it was all at once. you didn’t even get the chance to process it.

take four twenty-somethings and add constant prying journalists, paparazzi, and constantly full schedules into the mix. and why not pepper in some typical rockstar vices, too? alcohol, drugs, parties, throwaway sex. things are destined to get a little rocky. though you tried at first not to show it to your fans, your destructive behavior soon got the better of you, and you became known to drunkenly lash out at paps, smash cameras and storm out of interviews when the questions got too personal.

this all came to a head when you were caught on camera several times distributing acid tabs, cocaine and mdma at events, music festivals & awards shows. the press gave the band a pretty bad time over this, and given the other members’ controversies and lennon’s similar link to drugs, it wasn’t a good look for any of you.

it didn’t matter that you had a side to you that was good, pure. that you were always kind and loving and down-to-earth towards your fans and friends. you were a bad seed, and you wound up on exposed with the rest of your bandmates. hopefully you can prove there’s more to you than what the media shows...

‘oh & you say, i’m such a cliche...’ ( personality )

immm gonna rush thru this section & write less formally bc those other parts too me WAY too long

basically a literal toddler. loves a laugh, loves a good time, but get on his bad side and he WILL throw a tantrum

it’s mainly people like press & paps he lets his anger out on. the band’s fans and people he’s close with on a personal level know he’s a good person underneath it all

loves a bit of mischief / rebellion / drama

king of hiding insecurities....

literal softie.... like... who allowed this binch to be so soft. he’s so open about how much he loves his friends (particularly his bandmates) and will platonically kiss and hug and love people all the time, particularly on the show bc he’s trying to show the cameras his softer side dfjghdfdfg

so excitable like WHERE does this kid get all his energy...

( tw drugs ) will probably struggle a bit on the show without access to drugs, but ( tw addiction mention ) he has never really been addicted or dependent on them, just a frequent user.

outspoken as fuck, has no filter sometimes oops

very flamboyant, in line with the general aesthetic of his band but also on a personal level. sports a kind of soft gothic/punk/early 2000s emo look. always paints his nails and wears makeup etc

sleeps around a lot but has never really been able to find a lasting relationship, has just had a bunch of short-lived flings???? but lowkey develops crushes at the drop of a hat and would love to properly fall in love with someone who could be with him forever & accept him for all his flaws, but he highly doubts that will ever happen fgjdhsfg

‘why don’t you figure my heart out?...’ ( wanted connections )

exes on good terms

exes on bad terms ( maybe someone who actually really wanted to stay with him but couldnt deal with his bullshit and now resents him? )

someone who loves the band’s music & inflates his ego ab it

someone he hasn’t seen for years that he’s reunited on the show & maybe they’re revisiting old feelings for each other??? and he wants it to be DIFFERENT this time but also theres shit tons of fucking cameras and shit which... makes things difficult...

first friend he made in LA or in the states in general, someone who showed him the ropes

someone who hates him / hates the band like PLEASE

and also just a straight up enemy maybe?? someone who finds him annoying as fuck??

FRIENDS!!!

literally anything just hmu and lay an idea on me and theres 90% chance ill be down

#exposed.intro #fucking FINALLY

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mithranqueersmusings · 4 years

Text

Before This Dance Is Through V

Chapter: 5/16

Rating: M (Smut Warning)

Summary: Ringo's being going through a dry spell for the last year or so and when he regretfully tells his best friend John, he insists on taking them to an all-male strip club for some "fun". Ringo isn't sure whether it's the alcohol, his desperation or a mixture of the two but he thinks he might be falling in love with a stripper.

Tags: AU - Strippers, Modern Setting, Smut, Slow Burn

Pairings: George Harrison/Ringo Starr, John Lennon/Paul McCartney

AO3 link here / Fic masterlist here

Despite what John had suggested, Ringo didn't go back to The Helter Skelter the following week; he'd considered it when John sent him yet another late night text but ultimately decided it wasn't the best idea. Spike had been playing on his mind daily and Ringo wasn't sure he was prepared to face him again. Instead he focused on his drumming and searched for a few more students to teach, which were fairly easy to find. Usually Ringo enjoyed his time off, he understood he was lucky that he didn't have to work a 9-5 job just to get by, but recently he wanted his fill his time up as much as possible, to distract himself.

One of his new students seemed incredibly interested in him, they'd spent an hour just chatting in his living room before they'd even moved over to the drum kit. Ringo wasn't too fussed, he was getting paid by the hour so wasting time was beneficial to him but he didn't want to give the guy the wrong impression. He was a little bit older and attractive enough but Ringo simply wasn't interested.

"Why didn't you just go for it?" John had asked him when they next met up.

"I dunno..." Ringo mumbled, but a part of him knew very well.

He'd given the guy another lesson since then and it became clear that the guy's interest in him wasn't going away any time soon. Ringo felt bad about the whole thing, wasn't he just doing exactly what Spike was doing to him? He tried to act as professional as possible the second time around in attempt to get the guy to back off, considering he hadn't heard from him since he was hoping it had worked. What was wrong with him? Was he really going to make himself suffer like this all because of one guy? And not just any guy, a stripper who had shown absolutely no interest in him at all. It was ridiculous, he kept telling himself, but no matter how much he tried to convince himself that he had to get over Spike, he would still think about him every day without fail. Trying to distract himself with clients had been working somewhat, but it had been difficult, especially when his best friend was John Lennon.

youre gonna love me

The text came through when Ringo was sat in a café getting some lunch. He'd finished with one of his younger students, a sweet girl who's parents had tried to convince her to try a more 'ladylike' instrument but she had promised only to give up the drums if she was awful; much to her delight, and Ringo's for being able to prove the stereotypical parents wrong, she was pretty good. Seeing her always put Ringo in a good mood, the parents mostly stayed away partly due to the noise but mostly due to disappointment, which meant they could joke around together. Ringo could tell she admired him and he welcomed it gladly, one of the best things about teaching was inspiring others, at least for him it was.

do i not already?

well yes but youre gonna love me EVEN more

what have you done

well i happened to stop by the club last night

oh god what did you do

wow is that how little you trust me

can you blame me

suppose not ANYWAY i got talking to paulie

surprise surprise

do you want the good news or not???

fine fine sorry

AS I WAS SAYING i was talking to paulie and he told me that your special little someone has an onlyfans account

first of all fuck you for calling him that second of all wtf is onlyfans

oh sorry i didnt realise you werent living in the 21st century

...... care to grace me with your knowledge?

basically its a website where you can post exclusive stuff for ONLY FANS to see its not a porn site or anything but its basically where people sell their nudes MEANING spike has an account so you can totally see loads of raunchy filthy perverted pics of him

but i have to pay?

well weve all gotta make a living

i can basically see him naked for free

but this way you wont get all freaked out and embarrassed well you will but nobody will know at least so do you want the link or not???

Ringo paused for a few moments, he was gripping his phone tightly in both of his hands as he unblinkingly looked at John's words. If his mind was going to decide to make him suffer by enabling his intense interest in Spike, he may as well get something out of it.

fine

where are your manners richard??

can i please have the link to the strippers nude photos please john please

alright calm down let me know if its worth while i might have a look

idk if im even gonna look at it paying for porn is a little dated

treat yourself ringo id offer to pay but im broke

if youre broke why were you at the strip club last night?

well SOMEONE had to go

they really didnt

im supporting my local economy

i dont think thats how that works

sure it is anyway here you go

Ringo stared at the link for a while, his eyes even began to blur, he didn't want to risk opening it in public even though he knew there was little chance of anyone seeing. He finished his lunch in a hurry and headed home quickly, only when he was in the privacy of his bedroom did he dare open it. First he had to make an account, when he saw the screen loading up asking for an email address and password he just turned his screen off and put the phone down. This was far too much effort for something he shouldn't really have been doing in the first place. But it only took a few minutes for him to pick the phone back up and begin signing up, he used an old email as it felt less seedy that way and he didn't want to risk his name cropping up anywhere for Spike to see. Now he could load up the link properly and take a proper look at Spike's profile.

Just looking at the small profile picture was enough to startle Ringo a little, the dark eyes looking into the camera with that unreadable glimmer behind them. He was shirtless in the picture, Ringo wondered why that didn't catch his attention first, with the frame cutting off just before it showed anything too explicit. The header was a photo taken from the club, showing him in tight, leather pants and tassels on his nipples which matched the whip he held in his hand. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea. He'd spent so much time and effort trying not to think about this man, attempting to keep him out of his mind as much as possible. Ringo knew that if he went through with this all that progress would be lost, he'd be giving in to whatever strange obsession he'd developed for Spike, one that no doubt wasn't going to lead to anything good.

Ringo kept staring at the screen as though it was going to tell him what he should do. Spike's profile had no description, which wasn't very surprising, and it dashed any hope Ringo had of discovering something new about him. Right before he was about to put his phone down again, it vibrated.

howd the wank go??

john i dont care how long weve been friends asking how my wank was will always be weird

youre right sorry so how did it go???

if you must know i havent had a wank i havent even paid for entry

now whos the one being inappropriate??

ha ha

why havent you???

feels weird

oh i see youll consume a bunch of unethical porn for free but god forbid you actually give sex workers any actual money

you are the last person who can lecture me about unethical porn

hey now watch yourself ringo if you dont get a subscription I WILL

go ahead

and ill tell you every day what sexy sexy pictures hes posting ill tell you EVERY SINGLE TIME i have a wank over them

every time? i dont think youve got enough data for that

im not joking

neither am i you wank A LOT

ringooooo just buy it i swear to god if its not worth it or you regret it or whatever ill give you the money back

on top of the money you already owe me?

have you always been such a capitalist

youre not doing a very good job of convincing me

fine spikes cock now are you convinced???

maybe

naked pictures of spike whenever and wherever you want them all for the low low price of 10 quid a month convinced??

fine fine if itll shut you up

im starting to think thats code for 'i really wanna do this but im too embarrassed to admit it'

i hate you

now that DEFINITELY code for 'john youre right' anyway theres no time to be telling me how right i am all the time youve got dick pics to look at even i wont stand in the way of a good wank so dont bother replying to me until youve paid for that subscription young man

im older than you

DONT BOTHER REPLYING

Ringo let out a sigh and rested his head against the bedroom wall from where he was laying on the bed. He opened up the link again and his thumb hovered over the subscription button, why couldn't he just do it? The money wasn't an issue, it could've cost half as much or be double the price and he'd still be debating it all the same. Somehow it felt like an invasion of privacy, after all Spike hadn't told Ringo about it himself, but then again that didn't necessarily mean he didn't want Ringo to see it. After all it was like John said: everyone has to make a living somehow. Sometimes Ringo wished he could turn off that part of his brain that was so empathetic, so concerned about how everyone felt and what they were thinking. He knew that he wanted this, so why wasn't he allowing himself to have it? Ringo could see that he was being ridiculous, as he was with almost anything involving Spike, and after lying there for a while pondering and debating he decided to flip a coin. Heads would mean he got the subscription, tails that he didn't. He watched the coin spinning through the air after he flicked it upwards, then snatched it and slammed it down onto his forearm before slowly moving his hand away: it was tails. What a relief. Ringo chuckled to himself for being so foolish, settling down into his bed; it was still only around midday but he didn't have anywhere he needed to be.

So why didn't he feel relieved in the slightest?

This whole thing was getting tiring, the constant debate between what he believed he should do and what he wanted to do, and it seemed like it wasn't going to be ending anytime soon. Apparently he was in this for the long run, whatever that meant, but if he was going to turn down relatively attractive guys practically throwing themselves at him, he may as well go all the way. While he was putting in his credit card information, he stopped to think around three of four times, but once he'd finished and the images became accessible to him, his brain was barely able to conjure up a coherent sentence.

"Jesus..." Ringo breathed out as his eyes flicked across the plethora of pictures loading up on his screen.

There was a lot of them, and a lot of Spike was on display. Most of them were pictures taken at the club, either from a professional photographer in the audience or photos he'd taken himself in the mirrors backstage - Ringo could even see glimpses of Paul in the background of some of them. The ones that caught Ringo's eyes the most were those that seemed to be taken in his house, these also happened to be the ones in which Spike tended to be fully naked. It was very different experience to see him like this: a static image that he'd intentionally taken of himself and posted for so many people to see, an image that couldn't look back at Ringo and make him feel that strange mixture of excitement and shame. He began scrolling down the feed which only revealed more and more enticing photos. Ringo began to feel himself hardening, he suspected it had been happening for a while now but he'd been far too distracted to notice. He felt like a teenager discovering porn for the first time, it was difficult to remind himself that this wasn't anything new. Seeing Spike naked shouldn't have excited him so much, and yet it did.

One picture in particular drew Ringo's attention: Spike was stood in front of a bathroom mirror with a loose black tie lying against his bare chest, one hand was holding a phone and the other gripping his cock. He had dark eye make up on and his hair was messy. Ringo wasn't sure exactly what it was about this photo that was so enticing but he couldn't take his eyes off it. The prominence of his collarbones, the faint curls of his dark hair, how his slim fingers wrapped around himself. Slowly Ringo slid his own hand under the waistband of his boxers as he stared at the picture. At first he hesitated, his fingers stopped right above the base. It's not like this would've been the first time he'd touched himself while thinking about Spike, it would've been far from the last he imagined, but this was different. It was more concrete, more of an admission. Nothing felt quite as real when it's only being imagined, the haziness of lust fuzzing up the mind as it so often did, but now with a very real photo of Spike in front of him - which he'd paid to see - the feeling was far more tangible, far harder to ignore.

He'd come this far, he told himself as his hand sunk lower until his fingers were running along the length of his semi-hard cock, he may as well go all the way. To begin with Ringo stayed looking at this single picture as he slowly pumped himself, but as his lust began to grow he perused through more and more pictures: Spike kneeling naked in front of a mirror with a loose cigarette hanging from his lips, lying in the bath with bubbles only just about covering his nakedness, spread out on the bed with a gag in his mouth, handcuffs forcing his slim arms behind his back with his cock throbbing. None of this was anything Ringo hadn't seen before, like most people in this day and age he'd searched through the darker corners of the internet - sometimes willingly, sometimes John was to blame - but to see Spike in such a way was like an entirely new rush. Each picture drove Ringo further and further on, at times he almost dropped his phone with how sloppy his movements were becoming. Who took these photos? Ringo figured it was best not to think about it, the possibility that Spike had a boyfriend who took all these pictures of him would've been the quickest way to kill his erection.

Ringo began moaning and cursing wantonly as he got closer and closer to his orgasm, he had to stop flicking through the pictures because he could hardly concentrate on what his other hand was doing, so he settled on a final one to help him finish; it wasn't particularly strategic but he was definitely grateful that he selected the one that he did. In it Spike was looking directly into the camera, allowing Ringo to gaze longingly into the rich brown of his eyes and how his dark lashes curled beautifully around them. He was shirtless with nothing but a necklace on, the same necklace that Ringo had seen him wearing in the record store and Ringo couldn't help feeling a sense of satisfaction that he'd seen it with his own eyes, as though it meant something. Deep down he knew that it didn't but his inebriated mind was latching onto it. The nudity in the photo was hardly interesting Ringo by this point, although it would be wrong to say that he completely ignored the flatness of his stomach or the faint shadows of his ribs beneath his pale skin, it was the personal aspect which truly affected him.

This wasn't just lust. Lust Ringo could understand, he could compartmentalise it and give into it without much shame or a second thought. If this was just lust, he would've bought the subscription without a care and touched himself looking at the nakedness of Spike's body as though it meant nothing more than a way to get off. Yet here he was on the brink of orgasm looking into another man's eyes, eyes that felt like they were looking straight back at him as though they were sharing this moment together. It wasn't hard to imagine Spike's hand in place of his own, those deep eyes watching Ringo come undone piece by piece. Ringo's hip began to stutter, his leg twitching a little as he had to drop the phone down onto his lap as his head fell back against his pillow as his orgasm approached. It wasn't the image of Spike's naked body that filled Ringo's mind as he came, it wasn't his arse or his cock or even his chest, it was his face, his voice, it was him.

Ringo lay breathless on his bed for a while, the clarity that arrived as his orgasm subsided wasn't welcome in the slightest and he was reluctant to pick his phone back up to see Spike's eyes looking at him once again. There was no use in feeling ashamed about it, no point in trying to deny it any longer: his feelings for Spike were more than a mere passing fancy, that was clear. Exactly what he was meant to do about these feelings was far from clear but that wasn't something Ringo could figure out right now with cum on his stomach and the daylight seeping through his bedroom curtains.

When he'd picked up his phone he'd closed all the apps immediately, doing his best not to catch a glimpse of what he'd been so eagerly looking at before. Just as he was about to step into the shower to clean himself off, his phone buzzed; he almost couldn't hear it over the music he was blasting out. It alerted him for a moment as though it was going to be a message from Spike stating he knew exactly what Ringo had just done - it wouldn't have really surprised him had that been the case, Spike's face almost always looked like he knew something that nobody else did - but fortunately, or perhaps unfortunately, it was John.

sooo how did the wank go

who knows but on a totally unrelated note im about to get into the shower

well before you do that i have even more good news

can it not wait?

NO because you might cum just at the thought of it and then youd be wasting a good shower

well arent you considerate and unnecessarily graphic

thats me anyway im taking you to the club next tuesday whether you like it or not

im still waiting for the good news

well if youd let me FINISH next week theyre doing a special event and we just have to go youll never guess what it is

what is it?

guess

you just said ill never guess

youre no fun

WHAT IS IT

alright alright keep your hair on its a crossdressing event high heels make up probably a few wigs all that good stuff

im still waiting for the good news

OH COME ON youre telling me you dont want to see spike in heels and fishnets with some lovely lipstick on

Ringo gulped. It wasn't a difficult image to conjure up his mind, considering he'd been staring at photos of Spike for the past twenty minutes and it excited him to say the least. He did want to see that, very much indeed.

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