#then without the rant. without reason. without goodbye. fine. be that way. | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

mins-fins · 2 years ago

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CHAMBER OF REFLECTION (Z.HAO)

SUMMARY . . . it's hard to grieve the death of your loved ones, especially when you continue seeing that person, even after their death.

PAIRING . . . zhang hao x male!reader

GENRE . . . heavy heavy angst, little to no fluff

WARNINGS . . . descriptions of death, allusions to suicide, mentions of depression and psychosis

WORD COUNT . . . 2.9k

NOTES . . . we're here with the sad stuff!! dw everyone, stuff will get happy soon :)

grief is difficult to deal with.

y/n grew up hating the idea that eventually he'd have to go through grief, that he'd have to deal with one of his loved ones dying. he remembers telling his mom he would do everything in his power to make sure no one that he loved would end up dead before his very eyes.

it seems that he jinxed himself with those words..

when y/n met zhang hao, for some reason, he felt something. he can't exactly describe it, zhang hao was just such a beautiful, talented, enamoring, amazing, and humorous person, it was kinda like he was perfect.

the two of them just.. fit. they seemed made for each other in every way. their hands fit together when they intertwined them, y/n always seemed to fit perfectly into zhang hao's arms whenever they hugged, their personalities were so similar, and they could never be seen without each other.

not to mention, they were born on the same day, in the same year, at the exact same time.

it seemed that the universe was trying to tell the two of them something, that they were meant for each other.

it didn't take long for the two of them to become friends, then they became 'friends who kiss', then they became lovers.

they were just meant to be.

everyone told them that, their friends, family, even strangers agreed, they seemed to be the perfect pair.

everything was going great. they loved each other endlessly, had support, had friends who they loved dearly, and they knew that even with how many hardships they went through, they'd get through it.

at least, that's what they thought.

everything was okay, everything was fine. y/n would wake up everyday, and zhang hao would be there, whenever he had an issue, zhang hao would be there, if there was something bothering him, zhang hao would be there.

he was always there.

and just like that— in a split second, he was gone.

y/n feels like he blinked, and suddenly, his life had become an absolute trainwreck. if he could do anything in his past life that meant this event would be prevented, he would.

he'd do anything to bring him back, he'd do anything to simply wake up and for this to just be a very bad dream.

but unfortunately, fate had other plans for him.

the morning before he left forever was as normal as every morning was. y/n was his usual cheesy self, going on a rant about how much he loves zhang hao as said boy simply admires him, silent as usual.

y/n remembers what he was wearing, because that outfit haunts him every time his mind wanders back to the memory.

the light blue fabric with the white undershirt, his collar perched just perfectly around his neck.

"you flatter me too much, y/n" he remembers his soft voice telling him, zhang hao gave him one of the most genuine smiles y/n thinks he's ever seen on a person.

he looked so pretty like that, y/n thought..

"you deserve to be flattered" he commented as he reaches over to caress his cheek, watching as his eyes fluttered shut at the touch. "you deserve everything".

"please" zhang hao pushed his hands away, his face turned overwhelmingly red at the sweet words told to him by his boyfriend. "you need to stop before i melt from your compliments".

"then your gonna melt pretty soon".

zhang hao giggles at his words, and y/n rested his palm onto his cheek as he admired him and how pretty he looked at that very moment.

but after that— after zhang hao said goodbye, giving him a kiss on the cheek and then walking out of the door, something he does every single day, y/n's life was never truly the same.

no ones life was really ever the same.

when y/n got the call, that horrible, live changing call stating that zhang hao, the one person he loved more than anything, was gone?

it's clear to see why he was never the same.

in the span of a second, zhang hao simply became a memory.

everything seemed to go by in a blur.

y/n went from everything being okay, to his life falling apart. the love of his life was gone, and now all he could do was remember. he would never be able to hug him again, hold him again, kiss him again, be around him again.

he was gone, gone just like that.

y/n was a mess.

just like how anyone would be after the love of his life died, disappeared forever. for the first few days, he sobbed, he cried, he broke down in his room and spiraled into one of the worst depressive episodes he's ever had.

if zhang hao was here, he'd help him, like all the other times he did.

he's had bad depressive episodes before, and zhang hao always helped. he always listened to y/n's rants, let him cry into his shoulder, helped him swallow pills because it always made him uncomfortable to do so, helped him begin to take care of himself and manage his sleep schedule.

but now he was gone.

and y/n barely had any support.

after he simply cried, sobbed, and turned over almost every single picture of zhang hao in the house as to not see him anymore, y/n simply became numb.

he simply just existed, it had almost been a month since zhang hao died, yet he still couldn't get over it. he felt like the world was crushing him, punishing him for a mistake he must have made before.

zhang hao didn't deserve this. he was amazing, so talented, so understanding, so caring, and he had to suffer such a cruel fate.

he shouldn't have died.

everyone tries, they do, but y/n is just crashing further and further down.

he can't be helped.

everyone got it at first, they did, but with the way things are heading, they all know which direction this is gonna lead to soon enough.

they don't want to lose another person.

but y/n just wants to be alone.

he makes that very clear by the way he locks himself in his room every single day and with how refuses to talk to everyone even with how much they want to talk to him.

"y/n hyung" ollie calls out, softly knocking on the door. yujin is nervously picking his nails behind him, his mind wandering to horrible thoughts, thoughts that y/n might not even be alive behind that door.

"please open the door, hyung" ollie sounds like he's about to cry, but ricky and gyuvin aren't here, so it's just the three of them. "we don't, we don't want you to stay in your room all the time, we care about you and we can't stand seeing you like this".

yujin hears his distinct mumbling, and it's the same thing as all the other times.

"why did it have to be him? why couldn't it be me? he didn't deserve this, he didn't.."

surprisingly, for the first time since before zhang hao died, the door unexpectedly unlocks, and y/n peaks his head out.

he doesn't look as bad as expected. "sorry".

ollie pauses, and so does yujin. the two of them don't know what to say, they just stare with so much sympathy in their eyes. y/n sighs, looking down at the floor.

y/n trembles for a moment, and ollie opens his arms for a hug. "i just miss him so much".

he's clearly trying his best to not cry, but he fails because he immediately bursts into tears upon feeling ollie's arms wrap around him.

"it's okay hyung, we all do".

this is the first time y/n's cried in forever, and it seems he's becoming less and less able to keep in contact of his emotions, even with how empty he is these days.

ollie lets him cry into his shoulder, and yujin watches in sympathy.

everything has been tough for y/n.

y/n can usually never sleep these days.

he's always had trouble with sleeping, he was diagnosed with insomnia when he was six, and he remembers all the sleepless nights he had before zhang hao came into his life. every night, zhang hao would tell him stupid stories and coax him to sleep, wrapping his arms around him and always giving him a kiss on the forehead before they both drifted to sleep.

now, with all of that gone, it's even more difficult to go to sleep.

he lays in bed for three hours, simply staring at the ceiling, which didn't change at all.

he wasn't getting any more tired, eyes just fixated on the blank ceiling.

until, he hears a voice.

"having trouble sleeping?"

the room was dark, and y/n could barely hear the person speaking due to how quietly they said those words. he assumed it was ricky, or yujin, he didn't think it was gyuvin because that boy was always loud.

"yujin? how'd you get into my room?"

"you think i'm yujin? that's new".

y/n pauses.

he recognizes that voice, frankly, he could recognize it anywhere.

zhang hao.

"gosh" y/n covers his face with his hands. "my mind is playing tricks on me again".

"is it really your mind y/n?" he questions, and when y/n sits up to turn on his lamp, simply expecting to not see anything, he stops once again.

there, standing before him, is zhang hao, in the same outside y/n remembers clearly. light blue fabric, white undershirt, collar just perfectly perched around his neck.

but there's a difference, he's glowing, and he smiles as he sees y/n's look of surprise. "you can finally see me, right y/n?"

his voice is so soft, so simple, and it makes y/n want to breakdown into tears. in a split second, a tear slips down as zhang hao sighs.

"why are you crying y/n?"

"because your here".

zhang hao frowns, and he looks beautiful, like a piece of art that should be displayed in a museum. it makes y/n want to cry more, as he brings his knees to chest.

"i'm sorry, love" zhang hao states, he stares at y/n, and his eyes are the same, shining with that particularly loving look. "that wasn't my intention, i just miss you".

y/n doesn't want to think he's going crazy, he wants this to be real, he wants zhang hao to actually be here, but he knows that this is probably the result of his psychosis, even though zhang hao looked so real.

after all, ghosts don't exist..

"i miss you too" he mumbles, more tears falling down his face as he continues to stare the ghostly apparition of his true love.

"it's three am, darling" zhang hao tells him, moving closer and pressing his thumb against y/n's face and wipe his tears away. "why are you still awake?"

y/n hiccups, catching his breath. "can't sleep".

"ah" zhang hao simply says, he runs his hands through y/n's hair, humming. he uses his free hand to turn off y/n's lamp, not even having to look at it. "i'm sorry, i haven't been around to help you".

y/n stares at his figure, listens to the sounds in the room. everything about him feels real, the hand caressing his hair, the smile zhang hao is giving him, zhang hao in general.

"it's okay".

"oh y/n" he frowns once again, he lays y/n down, continuing to play with his hair. "your gonna be okay, yeah? just trust me".

"but your not gonna be here when i wake up" y/n whispers, because he knows this isn't real, and it breaks his heart because he wishes that this was real.

zhang hao gives a small laugh, staying silent. he doesn't say anything more, and neither does y/n. he leans down and places a soft kiss on his forehead, like he always used to do.

without saying anything more, y/n fell asleep.

"so how have you been these days?"

"huh?" y/n looks up, having zoned out a while ago. he continues picking his nails as he stares at the professional in front of him, his leg goes up and down as recognition colors his face. "oh, um, i've been fine".

"have you been sleeping okay?" his therapist asks, and y/n gives a okay answer.

"i mean, it's gotten better" he mutters. "before i used to stay awake for three hours, but now it's sort of become easier to sleep".

that isn't exactly a lie, ever since that first night, y/n has been able to sleep easier, now that zhang hao simply likes appearing out of nowhere. he's the only one that can see him, which still makes him believe that he's going crazy, but zhang hao always just laughs.

seeing your dead boyfriends spirit is.. well— crazy, that's why y/n keeps his mouth shut. "and how are you coping with your loss?"

y/n swears he can hear zhang hao snicker in the silence that envelopes the room. "i am.. well— i've been much better, um.. it's become easier for me to leave my room now, i don't constantly hide myself in there as much as i used to".

"are you taking your medication?"

"yeah" that's a lie.

y/n usually dislikes therapy, he hates talking about his feelings and the constant questions like he's being interrogated, giving short answers has become his whole thing, because it wastes less time.

after his first appearance, things begin getting weird. gyuvin wakes him up complaining that the lights in the kitchen are flickering, yujin tells him that he caught the bathroom sink turning on by itself multiple times, and ricky tells him that he hears weird music at night, sounding like a violin.

and it hits y/n.

zhang hao's actual ghost is roaming around the house, and only y/n can see him and hear what he says.

it should be creepy, it should scare him,

but he feels somewhat content about that idea.

"you have got to be kidding me" y/n states, staring at zhang hao. "playing the violin in the middle of the night? really? your gonna scare the shit out of ricky".

zhang hao chuckles, placing down his bombay cat, runa, down onto the floor. "i was reliving my old hobby, the only way i can do it is by being here".

zhang hao looks normal, he's wearing an oversized sweater and sweatpants, simply normal. it kind of scares y/n how runa can still see zhang hao, how she isn't bothered by his presence at all.

"still, they already think i'm crazy, no need to make them think they are too".

y/n remembers the first two weeks he saw zhang hao walking around, he tried to hide from him in the most idiotic way possible. runa jumps onto his bed, and y/n stares at himself in the mirror, sighing.

zhang hao walks up to him, gently placing his head onto his shoulder as his arms circle around his waist. y/n can't see him in the reflection of the mirror, as expected, but he feels so real, and his ghostly presence is oddly comforting.

"it's midnight, love" he mutters, and y/n nods. "are you not gonna sleep now?"

"can't".

zhang hao hums, nodding. y/n turns to look at him, the two of them now face to face. he looks so real, he feels so real, y/n can literally hear him breathing, and that's absurd, because he's dead.

his hand moves up to graze zhang hao's exposed collarbone, tracing the scar that's placed there. "does it still hurt?" he inquires, biting his bottom lip.

"not anymore" his lover replies. "i don't remember the last time it actually hurt".

"uh huh".

"love" zhang hao calls out, but y/n is still fixated on the now stitched scar on his collarbone. "you really need to sleep now, you have a recital in the morning".

"i don't wanna sleep yet".

"well your going to".

y/n feels himself dragged to bed, and though he tried to resist, zhang hao's grip was much too strong for him. "hao".

"y/n" zhang hao grits his teeth, a prominent glare in his gaze as he stares at his lover. "you will go to sleep".

why are you even doing this? your gone.. why are you still taking care of me?

it's like zhang hao can read his mind, because he lays him down and simply gives him that familiar yet painful smile. "i have to take care of you, love, you need to stop asking that".

runa curls up beside him, and y/n shivers as zhang hao's cold hands lace with his, and he leans down to press a kiss onto his forehead.

"hao".

"yeah?"

"where do you go?" y/n asks, feeling stupid with the words escaping his lips. "where do you go when i'm not here?"

zhang hao chuckles, as if his question was humorous, he scoots beside y/n, staring at him longingly.

"so silly y/n" he says, and said boy sighs as the older just nudges him lightly. "i'm always with you, it's only at certain times you notice i'm here".

y/n stares at him, and zhang hao just laughs again, running his finger up and down his arm.

"my other half.."

y/n would fall asleep again.

and when he woke up, zhang hao was gone.

as always.

#zhang hao #zerobaseone #zerobaseone zhang hao #zb1 zhang hao #zb1 imagines #zb1 scenarios #zb1 drabbles #boys planet #zhang hao boys planet #boys planet imagines #zhang hao x reader #𑁍 ࣪˖ 𓂃 isa's works!

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techno-danger · 8 months ago

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*ummm... I saw your tag and the comment and I hope you're at a safe place now. I hope it's not too much. I apologize if this reopens old wound.*

Hey, thanks so much for the concern. I'm completely fine to talk about being kicked out. It helped me leave my toxic situation all that much easier.

Thankfully my Nana let me move in with her the same day so I'm grateful i never ended up on the streets cause that's exactly where I would've been without the help and support I have now. I've got my own increased disability pension, my support worker who's helped me since I graduated high school 3 years ago has been there for me every new milestone I achieve and even helped me get my birth certificate, id's and other important stuff of mine back. I managed to have my first paying job last year at Christmas and my old boss even asked if I wanted to come back again this year! (I am btw, gonna be taking ALL the selfies with Santa :D). I've been applying for jobs about every week but nothing has gone through yet (you would not BELIEVE how many big companies have switched over to AI Interviews its been A NIGHTMARE-) however I'll be going back to Tafe (tertiary education) to get cert 3 in Child Care and see where that might take me, hopefully down a similar line as my support worker, he's helped change my life so much and is one of my biggest heroes. In fact we're even going to Melbourne next week for the PAX convention and he's been helping get our cosplays ready (Going as Verosika Mayday and Stolas from Helluva Boss).

All this compared to when I was practically an unpaid maid in my own home and was literally told often that I don't deserve my own opinion since I was acting "childish" and "disrespectful". That the reason I was suicidal and depressed was because I was "too lazy" to do my chores when I was told to. That if I brought in the washing creased or didnt cook a UNIQUE dinner every night or forgot to wash the dishes afterwards, I hadn't earned the right to eat breakfast the next day. Heck, if I hadn't done some of my chores (cause I was literally out of the house around 9 hours a day studying for a course I BEGGED to quit), like if the clothes got creased in the basket from when my parent left them for WEEKS in their room or vacuum the floor of the entire house, I would have to pay them a "Maid Tax" of $30 (AUD) for every chore of that they did. Oh and I also didn't have any kind of allowance growing up, just a centrelink pension of about $500 a fortnight that I had no control over.

This is all stuff I had to deal with since I was about 11, and I had a lot of other trauma from my other parent when I was younger, as well as other stuff I don't want to mention. I know there are worse things people can go through but I hope no kids get stuck in the same situation I was. No one deserves to feel like they earn the right to just exist in the world. Just because they're acting like a child having a temper tantrum doesn't excuse you having to be the adult in the relationship. I'm 21 in 2 months and I've had to be way more mature than the rest of my family who are in their 60's and 70's (who KNEW how my parent treated me) just so I could mentally survive. Even if they hadn't laid hands on me for a long time, emotional abuse still counted as domestic abuse, a fact I think my parent forgot.

I am fairly certain my parent has undiagnosed BPD, my psychologist and support worker both seem to think so after seeing the messages I've received from my parent over the year, going from scathing rants to suicidal goodbyes to ignoring me for months to civilized invitations to events we both like and then back to scathing rants. I've lived with my parent for so long I understand how their thought process usually goes so I can understand where each of the actions come from but that doesn't mean I'll be excusing them anymore.

They're still my parent, the one who's loved me, raised me, fought for me, guided me and helped support me for my entire life. However, I also have to accept that they're narcissistic, manipulative and hypocritical. Just because I love them does not mean I love how I'm treated by them. I hope that anyone who's going through anything similar to this can find the help they need to get a better support system and rise above the situation you're in. Take it from someone who can't see their own future still, it DOES slowly get better as long as you have at least one person you can count on.

Seriously thanks for the ask, I've never really gotten to properly talk/write about my life before and how it's changed so much in just a year. I hope you have a great day :))

#tw abuse #tw rant #tw family issues #tw family abuse #tw family problems #tw family trauma #tw emotional abuse #tw emotional manipulation #tw emotional neglect #tw financial abuse #tw financial issues #life update #life after abuse #life after trauma #life after graduation

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wubbybubbly · 8 months ago

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aww gumshoe’s trying to stand up for him…

also, I do like that edgeworth’s past corruption isn’t just being swept under the rug here. like, I do agree with him to some extent that eddie’s anger is understandable. regardless of his troubled past, edgeworth was a snake and I think it’s important to acknowledge his darker side. he hurt people. he was a cog in a machine that kept a broken system alive. however, as I pointed out in my last post, it bothers me when characters like eddie straight up demonize edgeworth for it. mini rant under the cut.

edgeworth’s reasons for becoming a prosecutor were incredibly nuanced. even during his early career, he was never a cookie cutter Bad Guy. so defining his “demon attorney” days solely by his connection to von karma (i.e. his pursuit of a perfect win record) is plain wrong. his motivation to prosecute was shaped by the tragedy he went through.

idk, I just think saying something like “I’m still angry at you for what you’ve done, but I understand that you were in pain and going through something I can’t comprehend” is really important, especially for someone like edgeworth. again, he was a fucking child. he didn’t become the “demon attorney” out of nowhere. he was trapped in a self-destructive cycle of guilt for over a decade. something that manfred, his mentor, had the power to alleviate at any time. but instead, he deliberately withheld the truth from the tormented boy, and miles had no idea of that power until he was in the defendant’s chair.

(it’s even sadder when you remember that edgeworth says in turnabout goodbyes, “if I had known the truth, I might have become a defense attorney after all.” what the fuckkkkk I’m killing manfred as we speak!!!!!!)

you can hold someone accountable for their actions without treating them like they’re satan incarnate. I actually find this flaw of eddie’s to be compelling, and I get why he’s not in the right headspace to see beyond his own anger and consider how gregory’s death affected his own son. like, I know that eddie isn’t privy to the information that the player is, so it’s unfair to criticize him for not acknowledging what edgeworth’s motivation to prosecute was. because he didn’t know anything. for me, it’s the fact that he doesn’t even try to understand that really bugs. he just jumps to conclusions and doesn’t think twice about how that might affect edgeworth. he has no idea what he’s talking about. flippantly throwing the name von karma around and making comparisons between them is certainly A Choice. it’s a very messy situation, and I know I sound angry, but I do love the writing here. it’s cathartic for eddie to lash out at edgeworth, and it’s selfish, just like how edgeworth himself used to be. and eddie has NO idea how similar they are in that regard, which is so juicy to me.

I’m excited to see where eddie’s character goes from here, but I’m still pissed at him for handling the situation horribly, lol. there’s a right and wrong way to criticize someone. eddie calling edgeworth out is fine, but he has to be accurate about it. or at the very least, acknowledge that he doesn’t know the full story. his feelings are valid, but they’re also self-centered. multiple things can be true at once.

I’ve been saying this ever since I played the trilogy, but edgeworth is someone who desperately needs to be told “I see you. I hear you. I acknowledge you” instead of “hey remember when you used to be evil” like THE WHOLE POINT is that he’s a human being too, gumshoe is literally the only person who points that out. edgeworth was abhorrent, but he was also in pain.

#wubby plays aai2 #word vomit but I hope my point gets across

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alwaysxangel · 2 years ago

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fearhidden:

Go out. Meet someone. Have fun. There were only so many gentle doses of her secondary rejection that Griffin could handle before he’d finally caved and done just that. The woman he’d met was so far from the likes of Beste that he’d fallen into her without question. Move on, he’d tell himself. It helped that there was almost always booze or some kind of drug to help ease him into a night’s worth of fun. He’d drink a little, smoke a little, and if the party favors were passed around at the right time, he’d help himself. It wasn’t fulfilling, but he found it easier to get lost in the noise than to sit and stir in the silence. The night had been blocked off for his daughter, an occasion he never cancelled on, but his so called girlfriend had made an offer he couldn’t resist. So, against every sense of logic he had, he made a single phone call with a lame excuse and said goodbye to his sleepy daughter. He’d lost count of the beer bottles he’d downed, not to mention, the party favor he’d popped an hour earlier was finally warming him to the very core. In an instant, everything had gotten heated in another way. Lacie was screaming at his side and harsh hands were slamming into his chest. “Fucking relax,” he shouted in return, but Lacie was ranting about the audacity of a bitch and after the third time of the name, he’d had enough. “Just stop, Lace. Fuck fucks sake. Take a walk and I’ll handle it.” He cleared his throat, his heart now pounding wildly against his chest. If Be was there, then she knew about Ray. Great. “Ray is fine. I can’t help it if you don’t ever trust your family enough to take care of her. You told me to go out, yeah? So I’m out. You don’t get to say shit about it now.”

- Be felt a giggle slip through her lips as the taller woman kept calling her a bitch. She had to admit it brought her a little pleasure, knowing neither of them knew what they were in for. “Call me a bitch one more time and watch what happens.” A devilish smile knitting across her lips as her eyes traced the length of the other girl. “Yeah, take a walk, Lace.” Her words dripping in ridicule. Be smiled as she watched the girl walk away, her hands still clinging to Griffin in front of her. “What a catch, Griff.” She pushed him away again. “Seems like she got a lot going on up in their.” The sarcasm cutting like a knife. “Hopefully he at least gives good head, but she probably uses her teeth.” The baseless insults came simply because Be was good at this. Her tongue had always been her most valiant weapon. When it came down to it, she knew how to cut.

“Are you fucking dull?” Be’s brows furrowed like he’d said the stupidest thing in the world. A scoff followed to really solidify how stupid she thought his logic was. “I don’t fucking care what you do with your time. Sure, I thought maybe it wasn’t rolling and getting your dick sucked in some trash house with a bunch of people with nothing better to do with their life. Sure, I thought maybe you had a few standards.” Be was being mean on purpose. He made her feel like a fool for trusting him, so now it was his turn. She didn’t mind how people watched. God, she hoped it made him uncomfortable though. “But this is not how this works. You don’t get to pawn off our daughter when it feels convenient for you. It’s not about trusting them, fuck face.” He knew it wasn’t. Be opened up about needing her family to believe she could handle being a mother. She never wanted to give them a reason to make her feel unfit, which they did enough already. If they found out about all of this, Be knew she wouldn’t hear the end of it. He knew it. “You could have just called me.”

#chat: griffin 02 #c: beste

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yanyanderes · 3 years ago

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Yandere rottmnt brothers drabble:

Mikey had invited you to their lair saying that they had a surprise for you and needed you to come there STAT. Whatever it was it sounded exciting so you obliged telling him that you would arrive in fifteen minutes. And just like you promised you arrived, the turtles seem pretty excited for your arrival, smiles all around, even Donnie was grinning for a change. Mikey was bouncing in anticipation as he guided your hands up to your face and told you to follow him, he was about to go when he realized that you can't see and sheepishly placed his hand behind your back ushering you somewhere into the debts of the lair. Doonie explains how they have been working on this for a while saying how it's a testament of their friendship and whatnot. A rant later and he got to the conclusion as you arrived at your destination, and as you opened your eyes you were greeted to a greenhouse. Your eyes lit up at the multipole flowers and plants decorating the place, you always wanted one of these but didn't have the space for it, you teared up a bit and the turtles grind in pride, enamored at your positive reaction.

Another reason for you to stay at their bais.

Raph showed you around the many plants while Leo being Leo made jokes here and there making you laugh, he lived for that laughter. Everything was going fine, until he spotted something. Mikey noticed what Leo was looking at and got the memo, he left for a short while then came back like nothing happened. Donnie on the other hand was explaining the many functions of the greenhouse and how it can help the plants flourish. Including the multiple fertilizers there were too pic. Like maxsea plant food, dyna-gro liquid grow, Blood meal and down to earth organics. What more could you ask for?

Hours later it was about time you went home for the night, the brothers told you their goodbyes as you left, thanking them for such an amazing day as you bid them good night. Mikey's heart swelled as you waved them goodbye but was replaced by a sinking feeling, as much as he'd love to get ready for beed he had other business to attend to. The lair was dark as he made his way towards the green house, the lights were off to save power but treading through it in the dark would most likely cause accidents so he opted on dimming the lights so as to not irritate his tired eyes. He walked over to the plot of dirt he tampered with the day prier, crouching down and scoping up some of it.

In the dirt layd a few wooden beads with red markings on them supposedly letters in another language that he couldn't decipher. He looked at it with sadness as he remembered your tear stained face as you explained to them that your best friend for seven years had left, but not without saying some really insensitive stuff. Behind your back nonetheless. The distasteful memorie burned into his head, Mikey is a strong believer in that people can change. Sure your relationship with your bff had taken a slight rocky turn but for them to just pull a full 180 on you so quickly was just uncalled for. You told them that they had threatened to blackmail you with the secrets that you trusted they would keep. You were scared of what they might do with the information or who they might give it to, despite there not being anything that could ruin your reputation. (don't worry, Donnie checked) But it still scared you. Apparently you had tried reaching out to them even after they said they didn't wanna see you again before moving states. And that was the breaking point, so there you were crying your eyes out to the four very concerned turtles on the other end of Raphs phone, listening intently to your wails of anguish. While Raph and Mikey tried to comfort you via their voices, Leo and Donnie had been very quiet through the whole conversation.

Mikey loves his brothers and cherishes them more than anything in the world. He admires how they work around their flaws and talents, Raph's strength, Leo's confidence and Donnie's genius. But he's realized something, Mikey isn't stupid he can tell that something's up with his blu and purple color coded brothres. In the way they avoid particular subjects or whisper amongst themselves, it worries him. Donnie and Leo have been… busy lately. He just hopes that they know what they're doing and aren't causing them, or anyone harm.

Two months before your surprise…

Donnie sat by his computer which wasn't unusual for the science loving turtle, and neither was the fact that it was four in the morning either. It was what he was doing on the computer that was consurning, that is if anyone was there to witness it. It's true that your best friend had betrayed your trust. Used you, humiliated you, trash talked you. However, they never left, their last few messages were filled with half truths as the real messenger behind them typed oway to their heart's content. As the words on his screen lit up.

-I never wanna see you again-

He smiled

yo i-

i got no words for this

this is pure ✨p e r f e c t i o n✨

and i lovee the way you built it up to the end, and the twist at the end with donnie pretending to be the ex friend is just so- *chef’s kiss*

love the way you write yanderes! 10/10 would let myself get kidnapped-

#yandere rottmnt #yandere tmnt #yandere rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #yandere teenage mutant ninja turtles #yandere tmnt 2018 #yandere #absolutely gorgeous #i’ve reread this like five times #yan-asks

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khuzena · 3 years ago

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Hello! If possible can I have hc or a scenario in which Cypher decides to meet his agent crush in completely different clothes that he usually wears n without his mask, in a place outside the headquarters, and his crush doesn’t realize it’s him (because they were just on their free day n not supposed to meet with anyone or smt) until after they have parted ways. Sorry if this is too long and oddly specific 😭😭

Recognizable

Cypher x g/n!reader

Tw: fluff and no angst, wholesome but confusing

Hehehe back from my hiatus, i know damn well you waited for a long time for this one 😨

You and cypher were on good terms and was always hanging out, he knew your habits and mannerism and so did you vice-versa.

Before cypher decided to visit you without his mask and stuff he was internally shaking because what if someone recognizes and remembers him and everything he planned will fuck up?

Though he got pass those fears and decided to wear dark brown pants and a simple white long-sleeved shirt.

He remembered yesterday when you said you were going to spend your day off at a particular park nearby the city so he prepared everything and also a hidden gun in case things go wrong.

He went to your location through your phone gps which could be considered stalking since you had no idea but as long as no one finds out he's fine.

At the park where you sat with a coffee to your side on the bench, you were scrolling through your phone until a man with brown messy locks and glasses came up to you and sat right next to you.

"Hello? You don't mind if I sit here right?"

You were hesitant to let some stranger get so close to you but he sounded friendly so you answered,

"No it's ok you can sit here... Are you from this city?"

Trying to ease the tension and maybe get to know him better but his breathtaking eyes made you a little shy inside— 'ah! No no no you just met him' you thought.

He slumped backwards, gazing at the crowd before replying, "No actually, it's my first time here"

"Ah... I see, but have you been to the other cities in this country? There's a lot of popular cities compared to this so you must've went to the others already" you say before standing up

"Leaving already?"

You kinda felt bad for leaving him alone here so you decided to just tag him along with you.

Spending the entire day walking around the city, chatting about random topics to atleast find something in common and ranting about things that irritate you both in the meantime was what you both did.

The two of you enjoyed each other's company so much time passed by so quickly, you stare at your wrist watch and it was already 7 pm.

He stares at your physique for a few seconds and it seemed like he was concerned, the two of you are agents but he was sure you were quite tired from not even getting a break and spent the time waltzing around the city, "Are you not hungry yet? We walked for hours straight and it seems like you're tired"

You tried to laugh at it off and act tough and blurted out, "Pfft, I'm not hungry or tired or anythin— *stomach growling*" ...

Cypher didn’t respond but held his sides as though he had a stomachache. His eyes crinkled at the corner and held his laughter and the more you observe him the more you got embarrassed so you both didn't say anything and just went to the nearest restaurant.

Soon after you both finish eating, before he said goodbye you tug his sleeve and ask him something.

You puffed out, "Before you go, can I ask you something?"

"Go ahead dear."

"So uhm— what's your name?"

The man raises his eyebrow but answered, "My name's Amir" his voice husky and his lips formed into a soft smile.

"Oh uhm.. Sorry if I forgot to ask your name earlier-" he quickly cut you off,

"Dont worry, (y/n). I'll see you soon"

You were in shock because he knew your name for some reason but you didn't know his, just before he walked away he slipped a card in your pocket with out a word and waved you good bye.

Opening the note you read the content and heat rushed up to your cheeks, "09XX - Cypher"

It was cypher's number.

It was embarrassing really, you didn't recognize him when the man earlier was very similar to the cypher you knew back at work.

How were you both supposed to face each other next week at work?

Bonus

The moment cypher got home he was screaming onto his pillow because his heart was racing from back then, the way you looked at him and even laughed at his silly jokes made his heart pound aggressively.

He knew he wasn't normally like this, but when it comes to you he gets all flustered; it's the first time in a few years after nora where he felt like this, where he felt comfortable enough to even reveal his true identity to you but for now all he could think of was how he would approach you next week.

Next week, all the agents from their vacation was back to work and everyone was talking about their fun adventures last week but he just sat down at an armchair hoping you'll approach him.

Cypher was checking his equipment and you slowly walked up to him, he stared at your shy expression before you muttered,

"S-so... Do you want to go to the same restaurant later at 9 pm?

"I would love to."

Fuck fuck fuck why did I write this so horribly omg you did not just wait 3 weeks for this disappointing shet im so sorry im lacking motivation 😭

#valorant cypher x reader #cypher x reader #valorant x reader #valorant fanfiction #valorant fluff #valorant headcanons #valorant imagines #cypher valorant

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serendipitous-magic · 3 years ago

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You know what, fine, I’ll say something about it. Because as an author and a librarian, I feel pretty damn qualified to.

If we expunged every single creative work on earth that had any kind of harmful or hurtful content at all, there would be nothing left.

Nothing.

There’s not a single thing on earth that isn’t problematic in some way.

Before you jump into rage mode, what I’m not saying is “Whatever, people can do whatever they want in art and it doesn’t matter!” Because… obviously not. (Just look at me ranting about how Joss Whedon treats women in his works. But don’t get me started there.)

No one is out here saying “antisemitism is fine” or “racism is fine” or “homophobia is fine” or what-have-you. Similarly, no one is out here saying “it’s unnecessary to hold authors and other artists accountable if they’re shitty.”

What I am saying is, yes, books and other works of art have harmful content in them. Pretty much always. Give Tumblr 10 minutes and I guarantee you they could find something problematic in Blues Clues. However, the internet has cultivated something really unhelpful where these echo chambers build, and everything ever is either black or white. No gray.

I.e.: purity culture.

If something isn’t absolutely irreproachable in every way, it’s heinous.

Except it’s not.

(Let’s make a disclaimer: there ARE works and artists that are just total pieces of shit. Say, Might is Right by “Ragnar Redbeard” (nice Asshole L.A.R.P. name, Arthur Desmond). We can pretty reasonably toss that whole crock of bullshit and the bull that produced it. We’re talking about normal literature here, not like… literal Nazi screed.)

If we forbade anyone from ever participating in or enjoying things with harmful tropes or stereotypes, well, goodbye literally every 80s movie and everything before it. Goodbye like 99.9999% of movies, actually. Goodbye every classic book ever. Goodbye Stranger Things. Goodbye Batman. Goodbye Holy Bible (that’s a WHOLE other can of worms). Goodbye… literally all media, ever. We’d lose all of it. Especially the stuff from like… any past decade. Is that all useless? Is there nothing good or useful about any of it? Of course there is! Because nothing is 100% good or 100% evil. (Again, we’re not talking about Nazi screed or the like, that’s a different ballpark all together.) So are we saying that a work with both good and bad in it, even if it’s mostly good, is absolutely useless and evil? It just doesn’t work when you try to apply it to real life situations outside of a Philosophy 101 classroom.

And furthermore, what I’m also saying is, people are perfectly capable of reading (or watching, or whatever) a work that has societally hurtful elements in it, and using their brain, and saying “hm yeah that’s a pretty outdated harmful stereotype,” or, for example, “the fuck, Rowling.” And then moving on. It doesn’t mean the reader agrees with the sentiment expressed there. You could even - gasp! - read a work with harmful stereotypes and enjoy the work as a whole without enjoying or agreeing with those stereotypes. And that really, really shouldn’t be a controversial statement.

To assume that people aren’t capable of reading or even enjoying an entire work without agreeing with or supporting *every single theme and message in that work* is frankly ridiculous. We’re not toddlers. We have rational thinking. It’s honestly kind of insulting to humans in general when you assume they’re not smart enough to form their own opinions and recognize when something doesn’t line up with their morals or ethics.

Furthermore, if people only EVER read and enjoyed things that met someone’s (say, your) standard of what’s 100% good and pure, those people would have a pretty anemic set of morals and ethics. Because guess what? People need to be exposed to ideas they don’t agree with in order to figure out “hm, I don’t agree with this.”

The sterilization of media will only ever lead to a morally and ethically stunted population.

This is why we don’t take Republican propaganda off the shelves at the library. Yeah, it’s bad! But if people are never given the chance to interface with these harmful ideas, they’ll never actually form their own opinion - or even form the ABILITY to form their own opinion. Morality is a *skill*, not an inherent trait. Take away any chance to exercise it, and you’ll end up with pretty weak morals, even if they’re the “good” ones.

Going on a witch hunt for people who enjoy fiction that has problematic elements is useless. Especially because it shuts down conversation. It shuts down the possibility of any growth. If two people had a conversation like “oh hey I see you’re reading Brave New World, there was some fucked up shit in there,” and they had a discussion about what parts of it were societally harmful and what parts of it were thought provoking or impactful or whatever, they both come away with a better understanding of their own morals, the literature, and the wider world. That would never happen if the conversation stopped at “You’re not allowed to like Brave New World because there’s some fucked up shit in there.”

And finally, refusing to participate in Harry Potter fandom won’t affect Rowling in literally any way. She’s already richer than the dreams of avarice. Same with, like, Marvel. If this was, say, one woman doing online publishing through Amazon, and she turned out to be kind of a gross terf, then sure, don’t buy her stuff, don’t encourage her by applauding her books or whatever. But that’s not the situation. And even if it was - see above.

If an individual chooses not to participate in a fandom because they don’t agree with the creator’s ethics or morals, great! You do you. However, it is not your place to demand that everyone else make the same choice that you do.

Punishing people for enjoying Harry Potter, and demanding that they banish it from their lives entirely, does not affect Rowling being a terf, or whatever else. If people want to fight racism, transphobia, antisemitism, homophobia, etc. in media (or outside of media), good news, there’s a ton of ways to do that. But getting pissed off because people still enjoy a fandom that’s like 98% not those things is… not gonna do shit except make people upset. Yeah, it sucks that the 2% of grossness is there. And we shouldn’t ignore it. It deserves to be acknowledged and held to task. But pitching out the entire series and the entire huge fandom surrounding it is a child’s way of dealing with this. And it won’t have any meaningful or lasting effect on the actual core issues.

TL;DR: You’re right, harmful shit like racism in media *should* be held accountable and scrutinized and fought - but the way to do that is not to expunge the whole work from the earth. People are thinking, intelligent creatures. We can enjoy a work without supporting each and every single theme and message in it. And if people *don’t* have the maturity to do that, they probably don’t have the maturity to safely navigate the internet alone.

There’s a LOT more that could be said here but frankly I’m tired of typing.

Inbox person, I probably sound mad and/or intense, and it’s not directed at you. It seems like you come from a place of confusion or hurt, and this isn’t an attack on you. It is, rather, a very tired and frustrated response to the increasing purity culture witch-hunt the internet has been staging (and yes, I know you disagree with that phrase being used here). You happened to trigger thoughts on a much larger topic. I’m not answering your asks because I don’t want to seem like it’s a ��fight,” and I don’t want to potentially enable anyone to come bother you. But please give this some thought. I doubt I’ll convince you because this is a VERY hot topic for many people, with emotions running very high around it, and opinions are pretty polarized. But I’ll be happy if I can introduce an alternative perspective, at least.

#anon #harry potter #purity culture #media #if this reads as upset I’m honestly not #i just know that this is an important topic #that the internet loooooves to twist and abuse

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newmainolddead · 4 years ago

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that moment when you type a very long rant in a specific channel and you go on another app for a few minutes to calm down before rereading and sending that and it restarts the app and deletes the rant 🙃

might fuck around and block everyone i know haha

#then without the rant. without reason. without goodbye. fine. be that way.

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marley-manson · 2 years ago

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Finally rewatched GFA and lmao I wildly overestimated how much screen time was dedicated to BJ and Hawkeye’s relationship, oops. I think it’s bc 90% of what they did get was dysfunctional, and they got the Final Goodbye of Greatest Emotional Importance, so it stuck out in my mind.

This time around I still loved Hawkeye’s plot for the most part. Had my take that once he remembers he’s fine talking about it confirmed with the casual way he asks if it’s couch time when Sidney approaches during his letter-writing, as well as him bringing it up later on multiple times, jokingly and not jokingly with Sidney. His reluctance to talk about the bus and his deflection was clearly intended to be a major Something’s Really Wrong Here signal, satisfyingly righted after the revelation with his more casual, in-character willingness to admit to and talk about his mental breakdown.

I am not a huge fan of Sidney’s method of throwing people back into the traumatic war zone asap lmao, I actually misremembered that as the army’s doing, but nope it’s Sidney. I know that’s the psychological theory they’re working with so I take it in the spirit intended, but thematically it kinda sucks and uhhhhh Hawkeye quits surgery anyway so they failed to make it seem successful even if he did operate a few times first.

BJ really is a mess of a character lol, I honestly have no idea what they were doing with him in the finale other than scrambling to find something for him to do, and like half of what he does is let Hawkeye down one last time. Also the reason BJ didn’t leave a note is because he chose to be pressed for time so he could land in San Francisco instead of Seattle, which was Klinger’s first suggestion for his travel itinerary. Plus his refusal to say goodbye functionally states the reason he didn’t leave a note, ie his emotional constipation, which is a very pointed flaw in this episode especially so I don’t think having more time would’ve made a difference.

Also relatedly BJ’s “I just thought there might be something we wanted to say to each other” came across even worse this time around because Hawkeye’s “Look, I know how tough it is for you to say goodbye, so I’ll say it,” calls back to it. It really genuinely was BJ demonstrating his inability to emotionally connect with Hawkeye without Hawkeye doing it first and wanting Hawkeye to read his mind and offer a heartfelt outpouring of emotion without knowing he’s leaving and while in a cell in a mental hospital and right after BJ, who should have more sense than to talk about babies in front of him since he was purportedly on that bus too, triggered him. Evil evil scene for BJ. Also probably my favourite scene in the ep, because I love Hawkeye’s rant so much.

“Would you hold me in your arms or would you let me lie there and bleed?” still works as a commentary on their whole dynamic, but lmao it really does come completely out of left field in the scene itself, Hawkeye went from 0 to 100 in like 2 seconds. It makes sense as an extension of the way BJ left the hospital and then left without a note too, as Hawkeye expressing how he feels about that after stewing for a while, but yeah the actual scene still made me go ‘well that escalated quickly.’ And BJ’s “you don’t even have a cold” response, just totally and probably willfully missing the point, gj guy.

BJ getting drunk and joking about running off with someone during the goodbye party is a bizarre choice lol, and I can see why people want to take it as an oblique confession re Hawkeye because at least it’s meaningful that way and not just making BJ’s scene there a dumb awkward joke. The other way it’s meaningful is if it’s a Sign of BJ’s impending domestic doom ofc, though I’m on the fence about intent there.

Hawkeye’s “I can’t say I loved you all either... but I loved as many of you as I could,” is such a good Hawkeye summation lol, in the jokey, flirty way intended, in the non-gendered way that’s probably unintended, and in a true-on-a-deeper-level way too.

Soon Lee was disappointing honestly. I thought she might have more personality here than in the last ep, but nah. The only moment she had where she showed any kind of personality was her line about wanting to see Klinger in a dress. That was a great joke though lol. I’m curious what she’s like in AfterMASH, but not enough to watch any of it. I do love Klinger staying in Korea for the irony, and I LOVE that it really is the same wedding dress from season 3.

Charles and Margaret were more entertaining than I remembered, I really enjoyed them rehashing old arguments here. I totally forgot that Margaret mentioned wanting to work in a stateside hospital at the very start of the episode before getting all the letters from her father. Definitely doubling down on my belief that she’s not retiring from the military at all, but rather just working at a military hospital. Love her speech to the nurses best.

Mixed feelings on the Charles and musicians plot. It’s fitting, but perhaps not solely in the way intended lol, in that it’s always always always Charles finding sympathy and attachment to someone only after they appeal to one of his pet interests or the sympathies he already has. He really doesn’t change that much - he gets friendlier with some of the other characters, and he reveals more complex and endearing sides of himself, but he doesn’t really grow lol, and once you notice that he only ever starts to care after he projects his interests on someone those moments get a little less endearing. I think he’s still a fantastically written, fun, and genuinely pretty interesting character, but he never quite achieves likeability on a personal level. But hey, maybe that is intended.

Mulcahy’s plot was honestly a little annoying lol, like, dude you made it worse by refusing medical help and keeping it a secret for the sake of like... one more week with the orphans? I do think it was appropriate that he managed to keep his hearing loss hidden though, because it mirrors the way he tended to miss jokes and references throughout the show, and I dig that angle. Also I love his little crisis of faith and the implication that there is no greater purpose or reason, shit just happens in a war zone.

What else... idk lightning round:

- loved everyone cheering for Hawkeye after he drives the tank to the garbage heap except everyone who was in the OR with him who are all concerned.

- also loved Hawkeye driving a tank into a garbage pile just as a piece of symbolism

- love everyone going back to work after peace is declared, that just sums up the show right there, perfect note

- still fucking hate that salute for Potter. it’s fitting, I understand why it’s there, it’s the most appropriate goodbye for Potter, I still hate it.

- that said I do love the like, 20 minutes worth of goodbyes lol. it honestly worked great, pacing, order, each individual exchange, the goodbye party speeches, all pretty damn solid.

- I did not remember that BJ got that motorcycle bc he just took it when the Chinese musicians surrendered lmao. love him driving Hawkeye up to the helicopter pad in it though as a call back to Yalu Brick Road and Blood and Guts w/ Hawkeye acquiescing for once.

- I think it was a mistake to include the forest fire. I know it happened irl, hence why they incorporated it, but like it adds absolutely nothing but an awkward continuity error where it switches from night to afternoon even though they should’ve been bugging out before that, and a melancholy moment where Potter looks at the burned up support poles, which sucks because that’s not a fond home for them. Like come on, if the 4077 burned down in season 3 the MCs would’ve roasted hot dogs over the coals. Also the military march verson of the theme playing during the bug out scene... yeesh.

- but yeah overall solid finale, pretty much what you need after 11 seasons, gj everyone.

#mash #marley on mash #mash s11 #ship hb #also i just got the aftermash/aftermath pun... still an awful show title but marginally less awful now

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awkwardsapphic · 2 years ago

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The RWBY soundtrack is not released yet, but it is already such a good one.

Each songs in the volume gave me a different emotion and I think it’s so powerful to be able to that.

Long post about me saying how much I love the songs :

Inside is giving me the chills dude, I had a running gag with a friend but everytime we started an episode we just told each other “Oh, the banger opening” and for reason ! The composition is so incredible and I’m just banging my head for 4min straight. If I don’t scream at the chorus consider me dead. When all the voices are on each other, oh boy, followed by the chorus again. Yeah I’m eating it.

Checkmate is such a bop, the first notes start playing and you already know you’re in for a good song, a good fight and a good moment. Try not to dance challenge : impossible. I don’t have a lot to say about I just love it very much.

Chatterbox omg, we only have 1min of it and it’s why I’m waiting for it the most. The way Casey sing the first word, I’m on my knees. I can guarantee you it’s a song going full volume, sorry for my Neighbors but it’s for the best. (Bonus point at the “I said I wasn’t done with you yet!” from Yang but that’s because I’m a lesbian).

Worthy. It’s... yeah... I feel so fine listening to it. I mean, I’m so light-hearted everytime. I could talk so long about it to say the same thing again and again because it is just a “don’t worry, everything is going to be alright” song. I can listen to it without crying now tho ! (well not when I’m seeing the scene, the confession really is my favorite moment of the volume) But yeah, Worthy is relaxing and hopefull, I love it, really do and it’s playing at my wedding idc.

And a total change of atmosphere with Trapdoor but oh man I love this song too ! It’s such a powerful song and I am getting the chills (yes again), the tempo is so great. I can’t even put into words what I feels about this song because it has such an impact on me. Yeah this is a masterclass.

I’m listening to Quiet when I’ve an insomnia. That’s it. This song relaxe me so much, I’ll just be lying down and I stop thinking about anything. Quiet is peace, nothing else, feels like an happy dream, an old blurred but nice memory.

RED LIKE ROSES FILLS MY DREAM- Anyway, Guide my Way uh ? Yeah, I’m acting cool, it’s not like it’s something I waited a long time. No but for real, my expectations were high but holy shit it managed to be even better than my most amazing dream. I’m telling you I screamed when I heard the first notes, everything is perfect, nothing else to say.

The Edge giving me the same feelings than Worthy and Quiet combined. It’s such a good closure, it’s hopefull, peacefull, relaxing and amazing. It work so well as a goodbye, as a “we’re seeing each other again soon” and I love that so much. The It’s just beginning/It’s just ending crying my eyes out brb.

I just wanted to rant about how I love the songs in this show and how it’s really a big part for me. If you read all that, well hope you liked this punch of positivity because I really have nothing bad to say about it. It was just really me trying to spread as many love as I can. Have a good day, or night, don’t forget to drink water, eat and take your meds if you need to.

#rwby #rwby spoilers #rwby9 spoilers #Casey Lee Williams you're insane (flattering)#I'm emotional again #long post #textpost

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kunimikat · 4 years ago

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How they act after you break up with them.

(I made sure to check but there might be small grammar errors, and this is a long one so strap in 🙇, but hope you enjoy angst+fluff here) but not me actually feeling bad for them after-

Is more out of it then usual.

The reason you broke up with him is because you felt like it wasn’t a real relationship. And more like you sometimes got to talk during class, and sometimes out of school.

He writes in his a separate notebook of ways he could’ve done better

Starts comparing himself to other guys more often

Leaves earlier then everyone else to got to dorms.

Mumbles even more then usual, and sometimes the only person that can snap him out of it is Aizawa.

Sometimes takes it out on his friends

“Hey Deku!-“

“Not right now Uraraka.”

“Oi, Deku nerd, the-“

“Can you not right now Kacchan?”

“HAAH?-“

“Midoryia! Would you like to study?”

“Maybe later Iida...”

Todoroki offered him soba but it resulted in Midoriya slowly slurping up soba as he looked into the void of people

He shut everyone one out and didn’t talk barely most of the week.

He’d take out a lot of his anger during training.

It somehow finally clicks into place how bad you feel and how much you miss him when All Might pull you aside and asks. “Uhhh...Is Young Midoriya ok? I’m getting real worried....ITS NOT LIKE I DONT WORRY ABOUT MY OTHER STUDENTS HAHAHA! HOW’S-

There’s 15 minutes of your life awkwardly telling All Might how all your classmates are doing.

Which made you want to jump off the top of UA at the moment.

You decide to head to his dorm and ask him about it, cause you feel like it’s your fault.

You walk in on him crying, clutching the shirt you bought for him on his birthday.

You almost dropped to your knees in guilt at the sight

You rushed over and sat by him, comforting him, though it wasn’t much as you started crying too.

Basically a crying festival for an hour.

“Please....Please Y/N I love you so much, I promise I’ll make it work, and I’ll do my best to make it up to you, just please...PLEASE don’t leave me.” You kiss him on the lips and then his hand, “Babe it’s not all on you, I promise I’ll do better this time too, I’m so sorry for being selfish, I love you, ok?” Another crying fest.

After you start dating again:

Always makes sure you’re comfortable, and checks into your dorm before he starts a study session.

Helps you with your work before his. ( Though you insist he doesn’t as he’s gotten points off multiple times for turning in his work late.)

Goes on dates every time you have some free space in your schedules. Somehow ends up in an All Might merch shop 80% of the time.

!!CUDDLE SESSIONS AFTER HERO TRAINING AT ALL TIMES!! Even in Recovery Girl’s office, though many times she bops you both on the head and tells you to get out.

(If you both like All Might) You both geek out over new All Might stuff, and his old interviews while wearing an All Might onesies.

(If you like a different hero) You could spend hours bickering on who’s best hero, pulling up recordings and articles on the. With you holding your favorite hero plushie and him wearing All Might pajamas.

And waking up early just to take a long route to school together.

Makes sure to say ‘I love you’ at every small moment, and compliments you, though he can’t take compliments himself-

If it’s a permanent breakup:

“I...I understand, but why?”

Tears well up in his eyes and he for once he keeps eye contact with you, without looking away

It takes everything in you to not breakdown

“I’m sorry Izuku, I just don’t think it’ll work out in the end.” He grabs your hand and holds it both of his. He puts it to his forehead, nearly on his knees at this point. You try not to cry with him, but you knew it wasn’t going to end up a happily ever after in the end. And you wanted to break it off before that could happen.

“Izuku, I know, I know, I’m so sorry, I wish it couldn’t end like this-“

“Then don’t let it. Please Y/N don’t let this end.”

You eyes welled up as you put a hand over your mouth while repeating ‘I’m sorry, so sorry Izuku’. You looked away from him as you slipped your hand out of his, you close your eyes painfully, the tears finally running down your face. You couldn’t help but look back one more time, and almost wanted to run to where he was and take it all back. He sat on his knees, his head in his hands as painful sobs wracked his body. You quickly leave the room, shutting the door behind you.

You both were pretty quiet and emotionless the whole week.

Midoriya was even worse then before,

It got to the point where sometimes he didn’t eat or sleep

He barely responded to anything anyone said

Hell, even Bakugo was worried at some point

Midoriya would always go back to his dorm and cuddle with the gifts you gave him while you were dating.

It took a long time for him to get over it, and even when he thought it did, he still gets emotional over it

Even after highschool it pains him to see your off doing your own thing without you at his side the whole time

Quieter then usual

Is so deep in thought, sometimes forgets he’s in class or what he’s doing

During tests, or while working on assignments he’d be so deep in thought he didn’t realize he broke his pencil, or used his quirk on his desk

Instead of having his usual outburst on people he’d just walk off, or click his tounge and walk off

Even during Hero Lessons he’d be less calculated, and not as pumped up

When anyone tried to ask he’d just say “Fuck off, I’m fine.”

His grades slightly dropped

He had bags under his eyes, and had even worse posture then usual

When it came time to leave, he’d be the first one out, and no one could find out where he’d go

A permanent frown was on his face at all times (basically him most of time but with a deeper frown)

No one knew what to do at this point

It didn’t click with you until one day during Hero Lessons

He was sparring with Kirishima and all of a sudden he fainted

Everyone was surprised to say the most

You rushed with Kirishima to Recover Girls office

You both almost busted the door off it’s hinges

She wacked you both on the head but quickly tended to Bakugo, surprising you both as she checked on him

“Oh....I wouldn’t have expected this from Bakugo.” You and Kirishima had confused looks on your faces. “Well he passed out from exhaustion, which I usually see with that foolish Midoriya boy. This one usually keeps up with himself, something must’ve happened.” She cut herself off as she saw the look on your face that said it all. She beckons Kirishima to follow her out, as he still wasn’t getting what was happening.

You finally got a good look at him, and saw just how exhausted he looked. The bags under his eyes, his bruised body, and how pained he looked in his sleep. You hugged the non-bruised part of his arm, and finally let the tears you held let go. “I’m sorry Katsuki...I’m sorry I didn’t see it sooner.” Before you realized he woke up, he placed his free hand on your head, rubbing small and soothing circles on your head. “S’okay, let’s make this work.” You knew you didn’t have to say anything else as you both stayed like that until Recovery Girl came in to kick you both out.

After you start dating again:

Comes to your dorm everyday to get you up knowing you’d oversleep if he didn’t (also wants to see your sleeping face...not in a weird way)

Cooks you breakfast in bed on off days,

You guys cook something together when you have a movie night

Instead of yelling most times, he just makes sure he understands your side of everything before jumping to conclusions

Makes sure he isn’t too rough with you verbally (lol not sure physically)

Brings you to his parents house during some free time since you get along with his mom and dad well

Won’t admit it but adores the fact that his parents love you

Whispers ‘I love you’ when he’s made sure your ‘sleeping’ (you’re not, you just wanna hear him say it all shy like)

You guys go on training dates, where you both train together, then have a picnic where you just trained

Him being more open with PDA, like holding your hand, or laying his head on your shoulder, etc. just small stuff

He loves playing with your hair and twisting it around his fingers while cuddling or studying

You both cheer on your favorite hero during a fight on TV, or you pick a random channel on TV and you just listen to him rant how stupid something is while you lean onto his shoulder at 2am (somehow got him to stay up this late)

If it’s a permanent breakup:

“No...no...you can’t, you can’t be serious”

He sounded so broken. His fists clutched so hard you thought his bones would pop out

Anger was evident in his face, and he honestly scared you with the face he was making

“Y/N....are you joking?” You frown and step back a little, did he really think everything you said was a joke? “No Bakugo, I just think this isnt gonna work out in the end.” You heard him click his tongue, then just look at you in shock, then anger. He looked down, his bangs covering his expression. “So you’re just gonna end it like that? No working anything out, just break up? It was one fucking mistake Y/N.”

“Yeah one big mistake, you don’t suck faces with some other person on accident, Bakugo.” The venom in your voice slicing through the tension filled air. “Can you just fucking forgive me? I won’t do it again.”

“You said that last time, Katsuki, then you go and clown off again-“

Before you could get anything else out Bakugo already had his quirk going in one hand, and the other holding your shoulder down. You both looked surprised, even as he backed away. “No..nononono fuck Y/N baby I’m sorry-” you smacked the hand that reached out for you. You started packing everything, Bakugo’s eyes widened as he just stood in shock. Before he knew it you were leaving already.

“N...NO NO Y/N PLEASE, I’M SORRY-“ he grabbed you by the arm that reached for the door knob. You quickly shrugged him out of his grasp, and opened the door. “Goodbye Bakugo, I hope well for the next person with you.” And you slammed it in his face. He stood there, it’s like the emotions he felt before were completely wiped when you slammed the door on him. It was 8:03pm, he should start getting ready for bed anyway.

For a few weeks he was unresponsive, and only talked when he needed to

His movements were sluggish and he’d often stare at nothing

Bakugo didn’t even glare, or really do anything when Midoriya tried talking him

Or shittyhair, dunce face, raccoon eyes, or soy sauce face

They were all the same, and just molded into one voice every time someone tried talking to him

After a while he got over it, but he still regrets what he did

You helped him through so much yet he went off and did stupid shit

Even after highschool, he’d still keep up on you frequently through social media

Basically stalking you on there, guessing he never truly got over it once he felt tears subconsciously stream down his face as he saw you with someone else, happier.

He felt like he didn’t do anything wrong, and he was confused at the throb in his heart every time you looked away from him or ignored him.

So he did ask you, and all you did was look at him like he just hit you.

Why did you look so hurt?

Todoroki shrugged it off, thinking you’d come back like you did after every fight you guys had

But you didn’t, and that’s what took an actual toll on him

More emotional

A permanent frown on his pretty features most of the time

All he mostly eats is soba

He didn’t know how to handle this in all honesty

Sometimes he’d just stare at you, and even when you looked back he’d just stare...

Sometimes he’s so out of it he doesn’t realize he’s either froze the entire classroom or was a living breathing radiator, or both (rip Momo, Satou, and Tokoyami)

He’d ask Midoryia for help but it came out as a fumbled mess most of the time:

“Midoryia...how do you hurt....them, a lot...without...? Can you help?

Midoryia is just like:

(Sorry I had to add that in I was cackling sm from it)

“I think you should just talk to them Todoroki.”

That was harder to do then he expected, you mangaged to avoid him pretty well,

One day he was just fed up and as soon as the bell rang he took your hand and left the class

He takes you to an empty classroom, his left side nearly giving you frostbite

You were about to yell at him before you saw his broken expression

“What...what did I do for it to be like this?” You we’re now quiet as you saw the confused and hurt expression on his face. Him barely being able to control either of his quirks, he was shaking, yet still held a confused expression. It just clicked with you, Todoroki wasn’t used to the sudden emotions or feelings, and when one of the people he’d usually go to to talk about it wasn’t there, he started to crumble.

You hugged him tightly , not caring if his quirks messed up your uniform. “I’m sorry Y/N....I’m sorry I’m not enough, but-“ You cover his mouth as tears fell from your eyes and onto the ground or his uniform. “I- I-I’m so sorry Todo...it’s just you never gave me affection and I was being so selfish and petty about it, I just- I didn’t realize that you went through your own experience for it to turn out like this. It’s not your fault, and I love you the way you are Shoto.” Todoroki didn’t even notice the tears come down his face as you kissed him over and over again. A small ‘I’m sorry’ from you every time. His quirks calmed down and now you were holding each other in a random classroom. You’re heart nearly stopped as you looked up at him and saw a small, teary eyed smile.

After you start Dating again:

Todoroki was much more observant

He’d stay up late readings articles saying “How to understand emotions” or “Is there other good food then Cold Soba” wait-

Regularly gets you gifts, even though most of the time you make him return the stuff since he’s been getting so much with his dads card

Endeavor ended up yelling at you both in a 7/11 while you were stuffing your faces with a soba flavored chips

You both figured out a way to get Todoroki to express himself without words

He’d slightly activate his left side if he wanted any sort of attention, and his right side was if he was feeling stressed or upset

He subconsciously goes to your dorm now to check up on you to make sure you’ve had a glass of water, dinner or anything really (He just wanted a reason to go to your dorm)

You played with his hair once, and he’s never going back

When cuddling he’d lay his head in the crook of your neck, hoping to feel you playing with his hair

You push him to start taking therapy sessions to understand what emotions he’s feeling and how to express them

Takes you in your free time to an empty field just to hear you talk, and learn more about you

And he’d always wake up early and made sure to get a few snacks for you before you woke up and brought them to your dorm room (Last time he tried to cook he almost burned the kitchen down)

Overall Todoroki just loves giving you small head pats now, you don’t know where it came from but you didn’t complain

Poor bby stuttered so hard the first time he said ‘I love you’ you giggled

Ended up making him feel embarrassed and like he did something wrong, but you quickly kissed him/praised him

He can’t stop saying it now, one time you picked up his pencil, before you could hand it to him just a sudden “I love you Y/N” the entire class looked at you both in shock

“STOP SUCKING FACES OVER THERE!”

“SHUT UP BAKUGO”

“HAAAH?”

Todoroki is the happiest he’s been.

If it’s a permanent breakup:

“Over? What do you mean we’re over?”

You felt so horrible by the the pure confusion on his face

But the rude things he said to you, over powering your want to get back with him

Lately Todoroki has been more protective, and rude. Insulting everything you do, belittling you slightly. It just added up and you were tired of it

Todoroki tilted his head to the side, deep in thought.

“Y/N your being on the dumber side again, are you hanging out with them too much?” You were taken aback by how nonchalantly he insulted you and your friends. “Excuse me? Todoroki did I hear you right?” You stepped foward leaning your head toward him. “Of course you can, or did Bakugo’s yelling make you not hear so well?” The fact he said it with no emotion, or nothing to it was making you clench your fist. “The hell has gotten into you Todoroki?” You shove his shoulder a bit. He frowned at you heavily making you flinch. “Well if you didn’t go and ignore me most of this week maybe I wouldn’t be like this. I usually hold my tongue but you’ve been rude this entire week.”

You stood there speechless. “Well Ex-fucking-cuse me Shoto. Maybe if you didn’t insult me all the damn time I wouldn’t ignore you, or wait for an decent apology.”

You drag out the last words as you glared at him, Todoroki giving one back. “I’m only telling the truth so you don’t look dumb. I’m helping you out Y/N, I thought you’d understand.” You scoff in utter shock, you couldn’t help the sudden urge to slap some sense into him. Now he stood speechless, the force in that slap causing his hair to look messy, and a red mark on his cheek. Tears were in your eyes as you clenched your fist, biting your lip from cussing him out on the spot. “Your lucky I don’t beat your sorry ass, just...just the the fuck out Todoroki!” You pushed him toward the door. He looked at you with no emotion in his face as he saw you start to bawl your eyes out. “Just...just get the hell out Todoroki, it’s over, we’re over.” He felt a pang in his heart, but choose to ignore it and just left.

It only actually came to him during the night as he was about to walk to your dorm after a nightmare, when he realized the entire conversation

He tried knocking on your door but you didn’t answer, even though he could hear your music

He went back to his dorm, sat on his bed and just had a full mental breakdown

Realizing his main emotional support that helped him through mostly everything was gone

He felt he said stuff his father said to you already which made it even worse

He tried texting and calling you but you had him blocked on everything

He repeated the entire conversation in his head, just now coming to how disgusting he really did sound

Todoroki for that whole week was an emotional wreck

During hero training if he was thinking about you or what he did he doesn’t notice poor Satou trying to get out of his wall of Ice.

Is always with Midoryia at some given time,

He kind of clinged onto people in his circle that gave him attention of some sort

When he some time passed he eventually got over it

After Highschool you both kept in touch, but it pained him when he saw you engaged and happy with another person

But he was happy if you were happy.

Heyyy so this is probably the longest thing I’ve written since like my last Wattpad fanfics I used to do(yikes). But hope you enjoy, and don’t be afraid to request! I’m taking them now so go wild.

Sorry that they were all confusing it’s my first hcs+scenario thingy, but I have a few other things in the works so... 💃🕺

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thestarsanctuary · 4 years ago

Note

kakegurui x reader who is very clingy (platonic but all the girls are like kinda into her) and she’s always either following Yumeko around or fiddling with one of Midari’s guns. The one shot can be when the reader geta called out for it and feels like she’s being too clingy so she tries to distance herself and all three kinda have to come together to figure out why reader is so sad? maybe an ending with protecc from the girls? Sorry for the long request!!

Once again- jesus this took forever so let me give you something good (I will try my best as per usual) and hope ya enjoy at least a little! My apologies again!

KAKEGURUI X F! READER (PLATONIC-ISH)

It was almost like a stop in your life. A pause. You had never noticed you had done it everyday, were you too much? Why did nonody tell you? And more importantly....how do you stop what you don’t notice yourself doing?

You had way too many questions because some random girl had walked up to you, randomly, and out of nowhere says,

“Hey you hang around those girls a lot huh? Don’t you think you’re a little too much? I mean I’ve never actually seen you without them. Ever.” She said, and it wasn’t even menacing, which means she truly meant it. That was even worse!

And when you think about it...she was oh so right.

Everyday, you went to school with Mary who would walk you with a scowl but let you hold her hand and talk her ear off all the way there. She would always say she wasn’t listening but would bring up something you said all the time surprising you. Then Midari would be waiting for you and hand you her arm and say “Let’s go gorgeous” with this sinister grin, and you’d play with her gun on the way to your first class, and then Yumeko would come and sit on your lap in class and let you hug her and the teacher never said anything because Kirari....oh god, you were so clingy.

And just like that your mood had dropped significantly, and nobody knew why but just tried to push it off.

“Maybe she’s having a bad day.”

“Got a bad grade on her exam!”

“Ah she didn’t have a good enough lunch?”

Any excuse they could come up with they used whichever came to mind first because they didn’t want to think you were truly upset.

And they didn’t want to have to come for whoever had made their darling so upset in the first place.

Until the next day came. Mary knocked on your door and you opened it with a forced smile that Mary chose to ignore, and she held out her hand with an annoyed look on her face as per usual but this time to you it felt so real.

I guess I am way too clingy.

That was the conclusion that you had came up with in your mind as you decided to ignore her hand and instead go for a more cheerful appearance to distract from your oh-so-obvious swatting of her hand.

She still walked with you but the look on her face was different. It was more narrow and almost looked like she was judging you or something, and you wondered if you had ever seen this look before in the back of your head.

When you go to the school Midari was as per usual waiting for you gun in hand, but you politely declined the offer of holding her gun as she wrapped her arm around yours. You wuickly took it off.

“Huh? What’s up with you gorgeous? Mary say something rude again? I truly don’t understand why you don’t let me take you-

“No! No I’m uh, I’m fine! I was just having...cramps! In my fingers...yeah...they are absolutely terrible!” You said quickly with a smile. Midari grinned and rubbed your head with her gun.

“Alrighty then sweetheart, did you not want to go to class then? I can let Kirari tell your teach you won’t be there ya know” she grinned at you, with her usual amount of playfulness seeping through. You waved your hand and walked into your classroom without saying goodbye. How odd.

Midari called Yumeko outside, you thought she was probably weeping for Yumeko’s attention again and didn’t think anything of it. But oh boy were you wrong. As Yumeko sat on your lap, you took notes vigorously and tried to shift and move her off, and she must’ve gotten the hint because she did. Yumeko whispered in your ear,

“I thought your hands were cramping?” She said, and you almost jumped because you realized how badly you had screwed up.

“O-oh yeah! But I need to take notes for this class Koko, you know that.” You brushed it off and she nodded her head innocently before going back to not paying attention. Or so you thought, but she obviously saw that you lied to her. Who could get past her?

After class you and Yumeko were called to the President’s room. You walked in and saw Kirari, Midari, Yumemi, Mary, Sayaka, Yuriko, everybody. It honestly overwhelmed you because you had wanted to touch them so bad. It was how you showed love but now you were basically forcing yourself to look at the ground.

“Now now, come over here y/n, we have to talk to you.” Kirari said and you knew, you had been figured out. There was a new seat for you and Kirari to sit in so you sat by her side trying not to touch her, however her scent and basically everything about her made it difficult. Especially with her putting her arm around you and trying to make you hug her. So in the end, you basically gave up. Who were you to resist?

“Is there a reason the girls are saying you’ve been lying and avoiding them all day or do we jut have to make a public announcement to find out who’s been talking to you?” She said softly. So softly you honestly almost cried. You had basically avoided all contact with the girls and given them no explanation, you felt terrible.

“I’m sorry!! It’s just- I realized how clingy I’ve been with you all and I never even asked if you were okay with it. I’m like some leech and I’m always hanging onto you guys and it feels like I’m not doing anything but being annoying anymore.” You ranted, not trying to look any of them in the eyes but you could see their eyes soften just a little when you finally did look up with glossy eyes.

“Ok. Listen. If any of us didn’t like it we would tell you and the freaking president herself wouldn’t even let you in here- let alone get a WHOLE NEW CHAIR for you to be able to hug her on. We all enjoy it and understand that it’s how you show that you like and care for us. Friends just know moron. Who told you this because I don’t believe you came up with this ridiculous theory of sorts on your own.” Mary announced as she stood up from her seat, tired of staying quiet.

“...well...I don’t know who but, I understand. That didn’t make sense anyways huh?” You giggled and hugged Kirari, instantly brightening the mood as she wrapped her arm around your waist.

“Well we’ll need to find out who immediately, we can’t exactly let whoever it was think they know better than us can we?” Yumeko said with a smile, as the other girls nodded.

Yeah, this was how it will always be.

EL FIN.

brooo that endings trassshhh. Anyways my fingers hurt so bad because I’ve been writing (not just this) for like an hour no break my fingers are buring, anyways sorry for the TERRIBLE wait so so sorry but I hope you enjoy!

-SS

#kakegurui x y/n #kakegurui midari #kakegurui x reader #kakegurui #midari x reader #kirari x reader #yumeko x reader #mary saotome x reader #yumemi yumemite #kakeguri yumeko #kakegurui xx #yumeko jabami #mary satome #kirari momobami

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writingforatwistedworld · 3 years ago

Note

I found out the fourth years are off campus and mainly around chapter 6??? and also why is it called night Raven College if most of the students are “not college age yet” I mean the only ones are technically in college is the third years in the fourth years I don’t know what I’m ranting about anymore💀 also how are you doing!?😊❤️

I'm doing fine. Thanks for asking!

The thing is, the world “TWST” (which seems to be also the name which the characters call it. Like we call our planet earth) is one without any sense or reason. I also kinda theorize that TWST is actually wonderland from Alice in wonderland. (There are a lot of indicators but at the same time, I'm no big theory brain)

Heck, if you would be nice enough to Malleus you could, although with a very slim chance, shake hands with Maleficent. Also, we don't really know what kind of educational system they use. I also assume that Toboso used college though because those “High school classic” films are not as popular anymore (as far as I am witnessing) so she was probably like “Hmm.... what is cool with the kids these days? College! It's college!”

The thing about the fourth year leaving made me also look twice but if we think about it, it is a pretty good way to continue the story and also close it if the game had been a failure. They could easily say now “Mhm u going with Malleus and other fourth year's and do things outside of NRC.” or if the game didn't make any money “They left, said goodbye with tears streaming down their cheeks, ran towards the sunset, had never been seen again, Crowley send you home.” Easy to wrap up. (Every single little thing is a marketing thing with Disney. Only numbers matter)

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ptergwen · 4 years ago

Text

only you and me

w/c: 6.7k

warnings: angst, mentions of weed, and some swearing

summary: whenever peter tries to tell you how he feels, harry gets in the way

a/n: ahhhh hi my loves! my mini writing break is over :,) life has been just a mess for me and i’ve been way more critical than usual about my work but i’m doing a little better and ready to get back into everything! this helped me a lot so i’m excited to share it with y’all <3 it’s also my first time writing harry osborn so lmk how i did lmaooofwfjj but yeah pls enjoy

“dude, she’s right there! just tell her!” ned whisper yells to peter, elbowing him for emphasis. they’re hidden behind a wall to watch you at your locker. you’re grabbing books while betty rants to you and mj rolls her eyes. “not now. she looks... busy,” peter gulps, gaze trailing down your body. he always finds excuses to put off telling you how he feels.

or rather, excuses find him. something comes up every time he gets the courage to do it. he has no idea why he’s so scared because he’s pretty sure you like him back. pretty sure. there are a few reasons why you might not. also, plenty why you might. you stay up late texting most nights, and you’ve even flirted a couple of times. it never fails to make peter blush. he trips over his words whenever he tries to flirt back.

he’s had feelings for you since the first time you two hung out alone. none of your other friends could make it, but you happily took him up on his offer to come over. you grinned through his whole apartment tour, asked about may and what she does. when peter showed you his room, you even complimented his movie posters, much to his surprise.

“really? you don’t think they’re, like, dorky?”

“no, peter. your interests aren’t dorky. everyone likes what they like.”

and, he liked you. he knew it from that point on. you’d know it too if the universe wouldn’t keep stopping him from saying that.

“she’s so...” peter pauses for a second. him and ned watch you pull betty in by her shoulders as if you’re going to kiss her. she dodges you, mj pushing her back, all three of you giggling about it before you grab betty’s hands and give her words of encouragement. “cool,” peter finishes, turning back to ned. “i mean, how she puts herself out there like that.”

“what’s stopping you from doing the same thing?” ned points out with a knowing smile that peter returns. you make it look so easy. whenever you’re comfortable around people, you can let go of any doubts you have. you stop worrying about what they might think and instead do what you want. it’s inspiring to peter, and heart warming getting to be one of the people you’re fully you with.

he wishes he could apply your wisdom himself.

peter shakes his head, staring down at the floor. “oh, you know. anxiety, fear of rejection. that fun stuff.” “so, yourself,” ned concludes, clapping peter’s backpack so hard it makes him stumble forward. betty and mj wave goodbye to you before heading to their first class. you’re still getting your things together at your locker. this is peter’s moment.

“come on, dude! y/n’s not busy anymore. you got this.” ned keeps his hand on peter’s back, adding on, “it’s been a year already.” “half a year,” peter corrects him in a mumble. he’s liked you for a really long time. “ok, i’m going. wish me luck.” he takes a deep breath and focuses in on you. “aw, dude. you don’t need it.” ned gives him one last pat on the back. “good luck, though.” “thanks, man. see you in trig.”

right as peter starts heading over, harry comes up behind you and covers your eyes. you squeal, jumping up and turning to him, laughing as you playfully hit at his chest. he brings you into a hug where your face is buried in his sweater and probably inhaling his super strong, super expensive cologne.

that’s what’s stopping peter, harry freaking osborn. his own friend.

peter quickly loses the tiny bit of confidence ned gave him. he figures it might be better to hold off on his confession and get an early start to class. unfortunately, it doesn’t seem like that’s going to happen. harry has already spotted him and calls him over.

“hey, pete! come give us some love, eh?” harry beams, an arm slung around your shoulders and you smiling up at him. you direct your smile to peter when he slumps his way to your locker. his lips pull into a barely noticeable frown. you notice. “there’s my guy. why so down, sunshine?” harry offers his fist for a fist bump. peter gives it to him, eyes staying on you.

harry osborn. where to begin with such a specimen? he’s the perfect combination of everything you’d want in a guy. he gets good grades, he’s a star player on on the basketball team, nice to everyone and makes you laugh, popular yet fits right into your small group.

he was friends with you before the popular thing. what kicked it off was him making varsity basketball while only being a sophomore. yep, he’s unreal. since then, he’s been balancing his cool life and also hanging with “the nerds,” as he likes to call you. he got his own feelings for you along the way. peter can tell.

he’ll give you rides home, compliment how you look, basically act like your boyfriend without really being it. it absolutely infuriates peter because he doesn’t compare to harry in the slightest. if he were you and had the choice between himself or harry, he would pick harry.

it’s been a factor in why he hasn’t come clean about how he feels yet. he’s not trying to create a love triangle that he doesn’t stand a chance surviving in.

“for real, peter. you good?” you ask him, eyebrows knitted together in concern. “fine,” peter lies and musters up a smile. “i’m just tired. didn’t sleep too good last night.” you’re only more concerned now. this has been happening to him a lot lately. you search for his eyes. “again?”

“aw, man. you need something for it?” harry punches peter’s shoulder and lowers his voice. “i know this kid who-“ “harry, stop.” your words are serious, tone lighthearted. you throw your head back on his arm. “do you really know a kid?” “i’m not telling you,” he says in an overly happy voice, you humming the same way. peter feels like he’s third wheeling.

“i was telling pete.” harry looks at him expectantly, peter’s mouth dropping open while he thinks of what to say. harry likes to mess around. this is a different level, though. “no thanks. i- i shouldn’t. i’m-“ “relax, i don’t know a kid,” harry chuckles and points at peter. “your face right now.” it’s completely flushed. you knock into harry’s side.

“ok, well literally no one laughed. you’re scaring him,” you tell harry sternly. peter tugs tight on one of his backpack straps. he doesn’t feel like he’s third wheeling you two now. he feels like your kid. he’ll never let ned mettle in his love life ever again if this is where it gets him. “he knows i’m kidding, y/n/n. right?” harry checks with peter. you make a face at him that says you aren’t convinced.

he switches his arm from you to peter, drawing him into his side. “look, pete. i’m sorry. the only kid i know who’s selling is chocolates for his band trip.” you’re satisfied with that, grinning at both of them. peter forces a laugh and nods. “no worries, man. i gotta get to class.” “good boy,” harry lets him go. “bye, pete. we’ll see you at lunch,” you remind him. he gives you a tight lipped smile. “see you, y/n/n.”

you and harry continue practically spooning each other as soon as peter is out of sight.

what the hell is going on?

peter is back to being grumpy, plopping down in his seat next to ned. their teacher has the lesson plan pulled up on the smart board. ned looks from it to peter, almost jumping in his seat. “oh, you’re back already? how’d it go?” “it didn’t go,” peter huffs, copying down the aim. he’s only doing it so he doesn’t have to look ned in the eyes while telling him he bailed. again.

“you didn’t do it?” ned repeats, peter writing something about pi and a unit circle in his notebook. he bites the inside of his cheek. “you have to do it at some point,” ned sighs out and picks up his pencil. even he’s getting tired of this, and ned never gets tired of a good friends to lovers moment. “i think she likes harry,” peter says under his breath. “huh?” ned gasps.

peter doesn’t feel like explaining the extremely awkward moment he just finished living. although, it wouldn’t hurt to get a second opinion. “y/n. he came over, and they kept hugging and whatever.” “they always do that,” ned almost scoffs, their trigonometry teacher moving to stand in front of the class. “yeah, but he had his arm around her the whole time we-“

the bell rings and cuts their conversation short. peter struggles to label the unit circle they learn about when his mind is filled to its capacity with images of you and harry all over each other. it’s not daydreaming. this is a nightmare. maybe, he actually will be having sleep problems.

peter’s morning is relatively decent after that. he gets to do an experiment with mj in chemistry, and she lets him take the lead for once. spanish is easy, health is okay, then he has a free period, then it’s lunch. things can only go downhill from here.

he thinks about hiding in the library until it’s over, but it’s the thought of harry eating your face that gets him to drag himself to the cafeteria.

flash is at the head of your table talking to harry when peter gets there. great, now he can’t eat his soggy chicken fingers in peace. “sounds dope. let’s go on the-“ flash stops saying what he was saying and nods at peter. “penis parker, you’re late.” peter takes his seat on your left, harry on your right. you glance over at him to make sure he’s okay. he acts like he doesn’t care, peeling open his milk carton.

“just text me later, man. get outta here,” harry dismisses flash, the two of them doing a bro handshake before he leaves. he’s well aware of his and peter’s history. he keeps them separate for the obvious reasons. peter appreciates it because saying no to flash is nearly impossible. he shouldn’t be so mad at harry, should he? he’s a good friend.

harry’s arm snakes around your waist and brings you closer to him. never mind.

“who’s up for sushi later?” he asks the table, everyone agreeing and saying how awesome that sounds. everyone except peter. you tap his shoulder with a small smile. “what about you, peter? you coming?” he realizes you’re all waiting for him to respond and puts down his milk. “uh, i can’t. homework,” he lamely answers.

“dude, we have homework, too. just do it a little later,” ned suggests, betty laying her head on his shoulder. you share a look with her, your eyes wide and a grin on your lips. that must have been what you were talking about this morning. she asked for boy advice. ned advice. why can’t this crap work out for peter?

“i really can’t. sorry, guys,” peter half heartedly apologizes.

he misses the disappointment that crosses your features because he’s pouting at his lunch again.

“homework, huh?” mj tests him, squinting as she takes a sip of apple juice. harry nudges peter’s side with two fingers. “you still mad about the sleeping thing?” “sleeping thing? what sleeping thing?” betty wonders while ned rests his head against hers. a quiet laugh slips out of you as you lean in to tell her.

“peter said he couldn’t sleep last night, so harry offered him...” you mime rolling a joint. “i said no,” peter clarifies, rolling his eyes at the inevitable teasing he’s about to get. none of you have even smoked besides harry. you’re being annoying about it. “of course you did,” mj sighs and kicks her feet up on the table. “unrelated to what y/n just said... harry, i have insomnia.”

everyone bursts into laughter at that, betty shoving her side and you pulling harry by his torso as he pretends to go into his backpack. peter wants nothing to do with any of this. he usually enjoys joking around with the group, even if it’s at his expense because it’s from a place of love.

today feels like you’re straight up making fun of him. harry might as well invite flash to join in.

“alright, alright, alright. enough of the weed talk,” harry decides, you removing your arms from him and grabbing your coffee. “you’re such a bad influence.” your voice drips with sarcasm. you bend the straw and take a sip while scooting closer to peter. “you really can’t come later? i feel like i’ve barely seen you today.” that’s on harry. “i wish i could, y/n/n,” peter exhales. “i’ll text you later, okay?”

you don’t get to answer because mj tugs on your arm, distracting you from peter. she explains how she has to do an art project on what it means to be a woman and needs help brainstorming ideas. you’re full of them, offering up an interesting perspective for her to use. peter smiles to himself as he listens in. you find a new way to impress him every day.

he should tell you that.

“hey, y/n?” “listen to her! you’re seriously my idol,” betty gushes, so loudly you don’t hear peter. not a single thing has gone in his favor at this table. he gives up.

peter locks himself in his room when he gets home from his overall terrible day. he does homework like he said he would, only taking a break for dinner, giving one word replies to may’s questions about school. he’d much rather be having sushi with you. he would’ve gone if the others didn’t.

after dinner, it’s back to grumbling and scribbling down answers. there’s a knock at peter’s door around ten o’clock, which he assumes is may saying goodnight. “i’ll be done in a few minutes, may! love you.” “it’s y/n,” you reply, the smile clear in your voice. his eyes go comically wide. that’s the last thing he expected to hear. “oh. uh, come in.”

you’re holding a small takeout bag, shutting the door behind you and walking over to his desk. you meet his twinkling eyes in the dim light that hits off his walls. from his open window, you faintly hear cars as they rush by and honk their horns in the distance, accompanied by a fresh breeze. it’s cozy, safe. it’s peter.

“hey. what’re you doing here?” peter questions, leaving his pencil in his binder and shutting it. you shake around the plastic bag. “i saved you a roll.” he bites back a smile, getting up from his chair. “may let me in. she was really chill about it,” you continue and hold out the sushi for him. “it’s a california roll. i wasn’t sure what you wanted, and everyone likes those.”

peter lets his smile spread out and takes the bag from you. “thanks, y/n/n. i was honestly hoping one of you would have leftovers.” you laugh softly, peter setting the bag down on his desk. he scratches the back of his neck. “did you guys have fun?” “yeah. i missed you, though.” you clasp your hands behind your back. “everyone did.”

“i feel bad i didn’t go. just... things felt off today,” peter admits the real reason he stayed home, you letting out a breath. “it was harry, wasn’t it? god, he was being so weird.” your arms drop back to your sides. “there’s a difference between playing around and actually upsetting people.” by people, you mean peter. no one else seemed too bothered by him. “i’m sorry, peter. i tried to make him stop.”

“no, you don’t have to apologize,” peter assures you sweetly, grabbing one of your hands. “it’s not your fault, okay? he probably didn’t realize what he was doing. the jokes landed.” he’s referring to ned, mj, and betty finding harry’s comments hilarious. you lace your fingers with peter’s and frown. “this isn’t like him. maybe he’s stressed about a game.” your gaze drifts off to the side, what you see getting you to perk up.

“is that new?” you ask peter, leading him by his hand over to a poster he put up recently. it’s for 13 going on 30. you showed it to him a couple of weeks ago, and he clearly liked it a lot. any movie that makes it to peter’s wall is a special one. “mhm. i got it literally right after you went home the night we watched,” he chuckles and looks over at you while you study the poster.

you turn to face peter again, keeping your hand tight in his. “were you gonna tell me something earlier? at lunch?” he’s confused for a second, then he remembers your ideas for mj’s art project. the fact that you cared enough to bring it up after all these hours makes his stomach do summersaults in the best way. he shrugs and gives you a smile.

“the stuff you were saying about femininity and how there are so many ways to define it,” peter starts, you grinning back at him, at how he took an interest in what you were saying. “you’re so smart, y/n. you make me wanna be better.” a light pink dusts his cheeks. “peter, you’re a feminist?” you coo, joking but genuinely wondering at the same time. he squeezes your hand. “duh.”

“i thought so,” you nod, taking in the rest of what he said. “you think i’m smart? i trust you because you’re way smarter.” peter pffts in response. “i’m only good at, like, physics. you’re good at things that really matter. smart in that way.” you’re feeling your own face get hot. you swing yours and peter’s hands back and forth. “why are you the nicest person ever?”

the answer to that, may, peeks her head into the room. “hey, kids. it’s getting late.” she notices your intertwined hands and shoots peter a smirk. “i thought you were a cool aunt,” he teases, you sadly letting go of him. “she is. thanks for having me over so late,” you tell may on your way to the door. “oh, stop it. you can come over any time.” she puts a hand on your arm. “thank you so much,” you murmur back.

you walk backwards to the doorway, may leaving you two to say your goodbyes. “wanna hang out only you and me? on friday maybe?” that should make up for everything earlier. “yeah, of course. friday is perfect,” peter agrees and bounces on his feet as excitement takes over him. “thanks again for the sushi.”

“no problem. goodnight.” it’s taking every last bit of power in you to not freak out. “night. text me when you get home.” he presses his tongue into his cheek. you slowly pull the door shut. “ok, i will. bye!” it closes, leaving peter skipping across his room to his bed on one side and you doing a little happy dance on the other.

the next day at school, everything is back to normal. honestly, better than normal. your hangout with peter is tomorrow, and he’s planning on telling he likes you then. he already talked it over with ned. he’s relieved it’s finally happening, especially since him and betty have their own thing. she’ll be taking up most of his free time from here.

your group is spending lunch outside today, lounging across a picnic table, surrounded by trees and the shining sun in a bright blue sky. mj sits on the table and has her feet on the bench, which would usually bug peter to no end. he doesn’t mind this time because it takes up enough room that harry has to sit with ned and betty instead of you. you lean into peter’s side and stab a piece of lettuce from your salad.

“it’s so nice out,” betty sighs, ripping off half her cookie and giving it to ned. “we should ditch.” “oh my god, you sound like harry,” you groan between bites of salad. peter lets out a breathy laugh, you looping your arm through his. he grins down at where you’re linked. harry crosses his own arms over his chest. “she wishes.” betty only nods because her mouth is full of m&m’s.

“nah, seriously. i’d take us out somewhere, but i have practice after school.” he speaks quieter than he normally does, less confident. your theory about him having basketball drama was right. “what did we tell you? talk about the sports shit with your sports friends,” mj complains, sitting back on her hands. she glances at harry over her shoulder and catches ned mouthing you can’t say that.

sitting criss cross, she spins around to face harry, unenthusiastically saying, “what i meant was, you sound upset. what’s wrong?” harry gets into it right away, like he’s been waiting for someone to ask. “coach says there might be a scout at the next game. it’s a really good opportunity even though i don’t have to worry about... college yet.” the word makes him cringe.

“oh, damn. that’s a big deal. scary,” mj snorts, turning back to you and peter. her behavior makes ned internally face palm. “that’s awesome, dude. you’re gonna play amazing like always.” he gives harry a high five, who smiles nervously in response. he’s never nervous. “thanks, bro. you guys wanna come and watch?” he’s never invited you to one of his games before either.

this isn’t a group of friends that likes to spend their weekends in bleachers while angry teens shout around them.

“definitely. we’ll be there to support you, harry,” betty answers for everyone, ned pecking her cheek in satisfaction. mj cusses to herself before replying. “if i absolutely must, sure.” only you and peter haven’t said anything yet. he’s been chewing his lower lip, and you your salad. harry looks between you two hopefully. it’s more so at you, which peter doesn’t like.

“y/n? pete? it would help a lot, i’m serious.” he taps his fingers on the table until one of you speaks up. you’re the one who does. “i’ll go. this is pretty huge, right? congrats.” you reach across the table and squeeze his shoulder while simultaneously tightening your arm around peter’s. he takes that as a cue. “i’ll go, too. happy for you, man.”

though peter isn’t currently in the best place with harry, he should show his support by showing up. it can’t be too bad since the rest of you will be there.

a loud, long chuckle leaves harry as he hops up from his bench and comes to yours and peter’s. he bends over and wraps both of you in a hug from behind at the same time. his arms are around each of your shoulders, holding you so close his cheeks are squished against either of your heads. you giggle at that, peter finding himself laughing along and reaching back to ruffle harry’s hair.

staying mad at him is one of the world’s greatest challenges.

“you’re saints, both of you. my angels.” he kisses the back of your head, then lays one right on peter’s cheek, leaving him blushing red and grinning. “what about the rest of us? i never go to shit like this,” mj huffs and seems genuinely offended. harry wiggles his eyebrows. “you want a kiss?” his offer gets her flustered, which she can’t manage to hide. that’s a first.

“shut up. i’m just saying... never mind.” mj glares at you and peter, ned and betty making kissing noises behind her. “someone change the subject.” peter steps in. “when’s the game, harry?” he asks, harry snapping and waving his finger. “tomorrow! cancel your plans, kiddos.” “like we had any,” betty retorts.

some of you did. that was going to be peter’s hangout with you.

ned smiles sympathetically at peter before betty is getting his attention. you‘re unfazed and rambling to harry how proud you are of him.

did last night mean nothing? was it an empty gesture? were you only doing it out of guilt? peter must have read your visit wrong. he’s been wrong the whole time he’s liked you. you don’t like him back, you pity him. harry is who you’re really interested in.

may always says he should trust his instincts.

peter pulls his arm from yours suddenly, swinging his backpack onto his shoulders. you’re taken back because it’s so out of no where. you stop talking to harry so you can figure out his deal. “where are you going?” “bell’s gonna ring,” peter mumbles and picks up his lunch tray. he heads to the garbage can without another word or goodbye to anyone.

“i’m gonna go check on him,” you tell harry, already getting up from the bench. “you do that,” he acknowledges and calls mj’s name again.

peter tosses his mostly untouched food in the trash, seeing you make your way over from the corner of his eye. he tries to speed walk inside so he doesn’t have to talk to you. you’re too quick, cornering him between the door and brick wall.

“we still have ten minutes,” you state, worry flashing across your face. he’s avoiding you. well, attempting to. “what’s wrong?” peter gulps before saying anything. “my next class is on the other side of the-“ “no,” you cut him off. “what’s really wrong?”

he doesn’t feel like having this discussion. it’s bad enough he came to the realization his feelings are one sided. must he break that down for you so soon?

you toy with your sleeve while you speak because peter doesn’t. “i thought you and harry were fine again. i mean, he kissed you.” peter clenches his jaw so hard he can imagine the sound of it cracking. “it’s not about harry.” “what, then? what the fuck happened?” your sleeves are now balled in your fists. you hate it when peter does this angsty routine.

he keeps his voice low and calm so he doesn’t come off as jealous or hurt. he’s both of those things. “the game is tomorrow. friday. when we were supposed to hang out.” you meet peter’s eyes with nothing but remorse in yours. “i... i forgot,” is all you have to say.

you feel awful. he’s had a tough couple of days, and you fell through on your promise to cheer him up.

“clearly,” peter remarks, voice sharp. the way you’re looking at him makes him think he won’t like what’s coming. “peter, we have to go,” you almost whine. “i’m really sorry, i am, but this is a big night for harry. he needs us there.” peter stays silent. you’re twisting the knife deeper into him with every word. “i wouldn’t be cancelling if this wasn’t important.”

now you’re cancelling?

you reach for peter’s hand, but he shoves it into his pocket. that stings for you and him. “please, peter. we’ll hang out at the game, i swear.” this is the last chance you’ve got, so you pile it on. “harry won’t even be there, technically. he’ll... he’ll be on the court.” peter hadn’t thought about that. he lets himself unclench, starting to see the appeal. you add one more thing to lighten the mood and persuade him.

“i’ll buy you popcorn, all you can eat.” it’s that easy. cracking a smile, peter accepts. he’ll deal with his unresolved, unreciprocated feelings after he stuffs his face, courtesy of you. “you better. i’m gonna need it for this long ass game.” your face lights up, grabbing his wrist in both hands.

“so, you’ll come?” “i’ll be there,” he confirms. you throw your arms around his neck. he laughs into the hug and holds you by your middle. “i promise this’ll be the first and last game we ever go to,” you say and mean it. harry is lucky you’re even suffering through this a first time. “thank god,” peter exhales, resting his chin on your head.

that interaction leaves peter confused as hell. you’re crushing his mind and soul one minute, then hugging him the next. you were making him feel so special lasts night, and treating harry the same way today. it’s so jumbled that he isn’t sure if he’s in the friend zone or something more zone.

there are a ton of mixed signals coming his way, and he sucks at reading people as is.

he can’t take another second of this. he’d rather you come out and say you like harry already because it’s torture. knowing you don’t want him in that way would at least eliminate the possibility of anything happening between you two, and allow him to stop driving himself insane.

he’d be able to stop taking it out on harry, too.

the hold you have on peter, that you’re oblivious to, rules his every thought and decision. he’s constantly analyzing what you say to him, debating whether or not your affection is simply platonic. it’s been half a year of this madness, the night of harry’s game blurring every line so much more.

your group arrives a bit early to find seats and hype harry up before he plays. peter gets there after all of you because he’s not exactly in a rush to watch sweaty guys be aggressive. there’s only one upside, which is spending the night with you... and everyone else.

he steps into the gym that’s filling up fast with family members, friends, and the college scout harry was talking about. midtown has a different feeling to it at night. the smell of pencils is oddly stronger, and it’s a lot less intimidating.

cheerleaders are huddled in a circle while the team supervisor has them run their chants. the “leading official,” who peter thought was called a referee, takes his place off to the side. coaches give their players last minute instructions, players fool around with each other, a lot is going on.

peter scans the room for you, and grins a toothy grin when you catch his eyes. you’re sitting by yourself in one of the middle bleachers, only a bag of skinny pop in your lap. you return the smile once you spot him and wave him over.

“i don’t know why, but i thought they’d have an actual concession stand,” you explain the lack of fresh, buttery popcorn as peter takes a seat next to you. he catches the prepackaged bag you toss him. “it’s just a snack table.” “works either way,” peter hums and pokes the bag. “i’m not sure skinny pop is all i can eat, though.” “it’s good!” you defend the snack you chose for him.

“i’m kidding! you’re right, it’s kind of addicting.” he puts it by his feet for now and gives you a half smile. “you’re welcome,” you deadpan in a playful tone. “thanks.” he narrows his eyes. “where’s everyone else?” “right,” you twist around and gesture to the bleacher above you. mj is gloomily seated near the back. ned and betty are a few behind you.

“i told them to find their own seats so we can sit together, alone.” you look over at peter and move ever so slightly closer. “welcome to our friday hangout. just the two of us.” “aw, you didn’t have to do that,” peter laughs out, his knee bumping yours. “but, i’m happy you did.” he goes to put an arm around you, then harry comes racing up the stairs.

just the two of you didn’t last so long.

“y/n, i’m freaking out,” harry announces, zooming through your row to get over to you. he stops once he’s standing in front of peter and shakes him by his shoulder. “hey, pete. you made it.” “yup,” peter replies, pressing his lips together. you wince at his reaction, then quirk an eyebrow at harry. “you’re freaking out? why?”

harry sits down between you and peter, blissfully unaware of the moment he interrupted.

“i found the scout. he’s fucking terrifying as fuck. this super ripped guy, looks like he’d rather be anywhere else,” he talks quietly, like the man will hear him. “he’s not the only one,” peter says to himself, kicking around his bag of popcorn to pass time. you ignore him and grimace.

“shit. wait, how do you know it’s him? did they tell you?” you’re not sure how these things go. harry casually shrugs a shoulder. “dude has a clipboard. seems legit to me.” he gives you a cocky smile. “he’s also in the row before mj. that’s how i noticed. um...” his back now facing peter, he whispers something in your ear that makes you giggle.

peter’s face scrunches up as the spark of anger the past few days have lit reignites itself.

when harry pulls away, you motion for him to come closer with your index finger, cupping your hand around his ear and speaking into it.

nope, no more. peter is entirely about to explode. you cancelled your plans so you can force him to watch basketball, you sweet talk him so he’ll let it go, and you’re running right back to harry after all of that? what the hell does that mean?

peter stands up from his seat. “y/n, we need to talk,” he demands, you moving away from harry to respond. “ok, gimme a minute. we’re-“ “no, we need to talk now.” you don’t have time to refute because he’s taking your arm and dragging you away. harry squints at you in utter confusion.

“um, have a good game! we’ll talk later,” you call back to him, walking with peter even though you have no idea what his issue is and aren’t a fan of how he’s acting.

he releases you once you’re in the hallway. you make a point of harshly yanking your arm back, a scowl painting your lips. “jesus, peter. i was having a conversation.” “do you like harry?” peter blurts out. you’re so shocked at his abruptness that you don’t give him much to work with, only, “what?” “do you like harry?” he asks you again, this time less accusing and more curious.

“do i like...” you’re too aware of the seemingly hundreds of people surrounding you to answer comfortably. “can we talk about this somewhere else?” “sure,” peter nods, letting you lead the way since he did to get out here. you two go down the hall and choose the first room you see, which happens to be the custodian’s closet. it’s thankfully unlocked.

things were tense between you and peter on the way over, and it’s physically mirrored when you step into the room, air thick and smelling of lemon cleaning supplies. you tug on the string hanging down to turn on the light. it casts a faded glow, leaving you in mostly darkness. you sort of like it. this feels more intimate, which is fitting for what you’re both about to say.

neither one of you knows where to begin. peter’s question is ringing in the back of your mind, and you could touch on that, but there’s more to it than a simple yes or no. you don’t have to worry about it because peter gets his words out first.

“i think harry likes you, and i think you like him back,” peter restarts, already sounding deflated by what he came up with. “he doesn’t, and i don’t.” you take a step towards him. “he likes mj.” it’s peter’s turn to be shocked. the hint of a smile sets on your lips. “that’s what we were talking about. harry asked if he should take her to dinner after the game, and i said yes.”

this is going better than he expected.

“mj is the one who likes him, not me,” you reiterate and watch some life enter peter again, a tiny bit. he’s coming around, and he wants to believe you. his trust issues don’t. “but, you’re so... touchy with each other. the hugging the other day?” he mentions. you tilt your head to the side in amusement. “friends can’t hug?”

to be fair, you hugged peter yesterday. that’s a point rightfully shut down.

“he calls you pretty,” peter tries, raising both eyebrows. you have to laugh at this one. “you call may pretty.”

obviously, peter’s analysis skills could use some serious improvements. it sounds like he had the right idea, wrong person. your relationship with harry is platonic. hell, he’s crushing on a whole different person. this actually opens up the possibility of you liking peter in the romantic way, of him being in the something more zone. he had it backwards.

in case peter isn’t convinced yet, and because you really want to, you use one more trick to prove to him you don’t like harry.

“do me and harry do this?” your lips speak for you, colliding with peter’s unexpectedly yet easily. he feels like he’s floating, like he’s in some sort of magical wonderland until it hits him that this is real, and he should probably kiss you back. he does so softly and tangles his fingers in your locks. his hand supports the back of your head as the kiss goes on.

you push forward so your bodies are almost fused together, the closest you can be while you hold his jaw. peter breaks the kiss for a short breather, going back in without more than a moment passing. this one is feverish, his free arm looping around your lower back, hand resting on the small of it. you let out a giggle against his swollen lips and stroke your thumb over his jawline.

he’s been waiting to do this for the longest time, but he doesn’t have to tell you that. it shows in how eager he was to reciprocate, his shyness blossoming into passion. you feel yourself melting under his touch, the kiss eventually becoming a series of short pecks. peter gives you the final one. his pink lips form a grin when you pull apart. your hands stay on each other, not in a rush to go anywhere.

“woah, i like you so much,” peter laughs out. the words roll off his tongue naturally. “you know i like you,” you drawl, smiling at him, a full body smile while you caress his skin. he winds both arms around you and dips his head down to steal another kiss. you’re loving what’s happening. however, you don’t feel like making out while dirty brooms stare at you. you should take this back home.

“wanna get out of here? i do,” you suggest, voice muffled from his lips. they detach from yours and brush your cheek gently. peter makes a funny face. “hm, i thought we had to come. harry needs us,” he says what you did yesterday, earning a groan back. “you’re joking.” “i’m not. what kind of friends would we be, ditching him like that?”

he’s going to end you one day.

“yeah, no. i have no idea how basketball works, and i’d like to keep it that way,” peter drops the act, pressing his fingers into your sides. “i’ve been so mean to harry. i was...” “a dick?” you finish for him. it’s more of a statement than a question. to soften the blow, you rub his cheek with the tips of your fingers. “yup. he’s gonna think i hate him or something if we don’t stay.” his formerly smiley face is frowning.

“harry of all people will understand after we tell him our reasons,” you reassure him, nudging under his chin with your nose. “besides, he has other things to worry about. mj, the scout. it’s fine.” peter considers it, ultimately giving in to you like he always does, resting his forehead on yours. “i guess so. less distractions for him, yeah.” “exactly. that’s what i wanna hear.”

having his approval, you unwind yourself from him and head to the door. his fingers wrap around your wrist gently. “what about my popcorn?” a giggle escapes your lips. “you’re still on that?” “you said all i can eat!” his voice comes out high pitched, adorably high pitched.

“fine. i might have those bags you put in the microwave.” you smile when his fingers lock with yours, peter kissing the side of your head.

“even better. let’s go home.”

#peter parker #peter parker fluff #peter parker imagine #peter parker x reader #peter parker x you #peter parker smut #peter parker fic #peter parker fanfiction #tom holland #tom holland fluff #tom holland smut #tom holland x reader #tom holland x you #tom holland fic #tom holland fanfiction #tom holland imagine

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douxie-casperan · 4 years ago

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Rise of the Titans and the assassination Hisirdoux Casperan’s character development

I’ve been ranting so much since Wednesday morning that I finally condensed by thoughts of WHY this one subject keeps setting me off namely the utterly diabolical way they handled Douxie and Archie’s relationship in Rise of the Titans and how it wasn’t just enough to hit him with the nerf bat.

Please note I’m at the point where I literally cannot tell the difference between Aaron headcanons, Teny headcanons and my own they are all mixed together in the blender that does funky things. I also apologise for typo/weird wording it’s half 1 in the morning and I’d rather sleep than edit.

If asked to sum up Hisirdoux Casperan there are certainly several things that come to mind:

Sees the value in people as a whole and will find do anything if there is a chance of help someone out

Prefers tactics that disable/banish rather than kill an enemy yet willing and able to pull the trigger if circumstances become forced

While not academically inclined he is very capable of thinking on his feet and outside the box calling back to his time on the streets where a split-second decision making is the difference between being caught and not

Terrible at planning he’ll be in there figuring it out as he goes along which is what makes the previous point so vital to literally how he goes through life

A natural charmer that would let him talk his way out of trouble 9/10 providing a perfect cover for his distrustful nature and reluctance to be touched by random people

Very down to earth, humble and never one to brag unless outright sassing someone

Will bang out some hot tunes at the drop of a hat, his love of music has never wavered once since he caught the bug despite instrument hopping ironically becoming a jack of all trades much like his magic style

The earliest memories he can recall are him as a young boy lost in the woods where he was for an unknown amount of time before his soon to be familiar finds him amongst the roots covered in dirt and drying tears, there is nothing before that. Unbeknownst to him is the colour of his magic matches the blue of a lost mother’s eyes and the song that haunts his nightmares as much as fire could well be hers though there is no way to be sure. From that moment on Archibald, shortened to Archie, would become his entire world and their friendship only becoming closer during the years they prowled Camelot together trying to keep themselves in one piece until the fateful day Douxie tricks the wrong person leading him straight into the path of the famous wizard Merlin Ambrosius.

It's no real secret that Merlin is a very closed off person who keeps his emotions as well guarded as his secrets, prefers the style of negative reinforcement over positive encouragement and is a very strict perfectionist in his. At this point in his life he can be very easily described as a disaster that is genuinely doing his best with every little mistake held of his head and his future self when brought back to that time period is belittled by Lancelot (Errand boy) and Arthur (Boy) too meaning it’s hardly a wonder his confidence was very fragile revelling in the times where he could do things without being told off for it. With Morgana largely ignoring him too (Though personally I like to think as he got older she’d occasionally take an interest until the blistering arguments with their master started to talk over daily life) a certain disguised dragon would have remained a lifeline and give that physical affection he craved much like being told he’d done well never seemed able to earn.

With Killahead he’d lose that home and family he made leaving just the two of them behind struggling to figure out their place in the world that had abandoned them.

There wouldn’t have been the words for it back then but the way he had been treated prior was outright abusive instilling very bad habits into Douxie yet by irony he was always willing to give people the benefit of the doubt and help those in trouble without thinking earning a reputation as the Shepard of Fire. He refused to become like him seeking to be better, perhaps not as a wizard (Even though he was learning new charms and spells along the way) but certainly as a person. Despite everything he suffers through or witnesses in the intervening years, the loss of friends and kindling of far newer ones he never loses his good heart

That said is it any wonder that after rightfully sassing Merlin for resurfacing, ignoring his existence despite being in the same town and only visiting him to run a finding errand that all the confidence he’d managed to build completely from scratch after Camelot wavered causing him to fall back solely into trying impressing his old Master who was acting like his humble apprentice must have coasted the past few centuries who himself fell back into old habits of belittling? It’s only when Merlin started to truly listen and acknowledge that this was not the same Moppet he once knew after Excalibur was fixed that their relationship finally started to become more like equals. After the defeat of Janus the changeling that broke into the castle he touched Douxie’s shoulder with a genuine smile and for a second he simply didn’t know what to do because the old man never did this before his brain kicked into gear and realised he’d finally earned that one thing he’d been so desperate for his entire life: That in Merlin’s eyes he could be more than a failure who only caused problems for the closest thing to a father figure he’d ever had, never solved them.

A staff will be earned, history would be set back on trap by banishing Morgana tag teaming with Archie because they know one another inside and out, as promised he’d get the kids back to the present but soon after things would go badly wrong. They’d lose Jim and because of his very nature he’d make a gamble to try and get him back because that life is worth trying for just for in a moment of surprising selflessness Merlin would be sacrificed to save him. The only constant in his life apart from Archie would apologise, openly express pride and how the greatest thing he’d ever done was saving this orphan, call him son for the first and final time before turning into ash in his arms. There would be no time to grieve for things will barrel into the crescendo of Douxie sacrificing his own life to buy everyone time to escape because if they did that everything he’d ever done would be worth it with one last whispered goodbye.

(Zoe sees him fall, so does Archie – His heart would break if he was conscious just like theirs does when his body crumples into the ground)

On the very fringes of the Light Realm he is gifted one more conversation with Merlin in a truly heart-breaking sequence (THANKS TENY) where they can just talk without any fear of consequence or politics and just be completely honest. Douxie is allowed to stand equal to Merlin, to have the hug he’d needed since he was a child and be allowed to simply let go of every pretense and cry his heart out because this can never happen again. He’s allowed to say goodbye to both his master and Morgana who had both shaped so very much of his life but like the painting he’d always remained firmly in the long shadows of until that moment.

When Hisirdoux Casperan finally leaves Wizards if we just accidently deliberately put the shawarma back in along with checking in with Zoe before departure, it is with having learned to live during his wandering years but this is the point of true freedom because he can finally escape into his own light with Archie by his side to keep Nari out of the hands of those that would see the world harmed. It won’t be easy but it feels possible somehow even with the knowledge everything is simply running on borrowed time.

Then Rise of the Titans happens.

At first everything is genuinely fine! No more running, they engineer a solution shut the Order’s magic down to make them a lot less dangerous and potentially at least incapacitate them until they can come up with a longer-term solution but all the best laid plans and all that. Douxie’s quick thinking stops the train from crushing any of the people below and it’s a very him style move to switch places with Nari to stall for time because for some reason the plot disabled Claire from portaling her or any of the threatened people/heroes to safety. He openly sasses the Order despite knowing the consequences will be bad for him because once again he’s managed to trick them, buy time that at the other end isn’t even slightly utilised until he’s forced back into his own body in excruciating pain. Archie immediately mobs him with comfort just as he has done every single time the wizard is distressed or collapsed with exhaustion without thinking because that is what their bond is like, incredibly close and far more than the Soul Bond mark that connects them together. They’re very alike in that regard, you have to earn the right to touch while equally knowing exactly what form the other needs the most in that precise moment in a way very few others could.

Bar the moment of figuring out that an illusion is in place to hide where the Order is opening the Genesis Seals and the brief insistence on reconnecting with Nari somehow Douxie manages to forget everything that makes him who he is after this point choosing to stand in the background being very no thoughts head empty or can only use the most basic spells of his youthful days not the seasoned master wizard he should be. Nomura is treated like an innocent slip rather than an outright death he did absolutely nothing to prevent (Not to mention the stupid daytime thing) nor seems to care particularly about afterwards yet with Nari’s he’s allowed to openly grieve in a gorgeously animated visual showing how he’d failed to keep her safe despite everything. He did nothing to help here either mind despite allowing himself to be tortured in the same piece of media to keep her safe, just watched another loss happen right in front of his eyes in his conga long line of them.

Then there’s Archie, oh god then there was Archie.

The dragon who even here he’d been shown to have an incredibly close bond with him decides you know what sod that tell him goodbye I’m going to make a joke about having a kingdom now dad and me are trapped in here forever. Douxie on his part looked sad for all of three seconds saying that he hoped he’s happy like it's a pet that wandered out into the world one day and never came back instead of a lifelong companion that has been there for as long as he can remember. He was now completely alone in the world since Zoe was also written out entirely and because every bit of his background had been forgotten about it somehow meant nothing. This wasn’t “I know you miss him, I know you need to grieve but you are running out of time” moment like things had been with Charlie, this was “cool shapeshifting dragon cat is now stuck in a plot hole that’s a shame” with zero pay off or any of the genuine reaction that should have been there or hell even trying to Ohana him back that very second because it never should have happened in the first place. Then even this wasn’t enough somehow, they managed to de-power Douxie even further into uselessness bar the (Admittedly nifty!) sticky feet stunt, the one who fought Skrael and Bellroc to a stalemate was shunted aside with barely a thought and his head would somehow get even emptier.

The one person who knew the danger of time magic the most stood by and said nothing.

The one person who would suffer the most by a reset because the lynchpin to his issues would be asleep if you got it wrong and should have drilled it into Jim’s head the best time to aim for stood by and said nothing.

The one person who had just suffered the loss of his familiar, best friend and only family along with the almost sister like Nari stood by and said nothing.

Then to add further insult to injury the caption when Douxie and Archie is shown says Some go their entire lives living an existence of quiet desperation because every drop of his character growth, his ability to finally start addressing his trauma instilled back in the 12th century, the staff he longed for was instead openly mocked by going “Aww he got his cat friend back how nice!” Everything he’d rightfully earned and had now would be unable to progress until certain criteria are met because it hinges entirely on the Trollhunter going to Merlin’s tomb and there’s only so much your support network of two (One if she’s written out) can do, the root of the majority of his issues all stem from one man.

And this folks is why I’ve been going on multiple rants about Douxie in particular, everyone was hit with the out of character bat to some degree in this film but when they came for him they didn’t just stop after they took his legs out because they wanted him to suffer from something he’s never had any control over to begin with all over again. Abuse survivors deserve better, these characters deserve better and we as viewers deserve far far better writing than we were forced to endure.

#Ooc - Behind the curtains #Rise of the Titans #Rise of the Titans spoilers #RotT Spoilers #RoT spoilers #Wizards #Tales of Arcadia #ToAWizards #Hisirdoux Casperan #Douxie Casperan

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