#there are 100 errors in here but I am sick of working on it lol

[embras-grace]

Ori enjoying a peaceful autumn evening with their four palicats and some light reading about Palia laws.

[tarotwithdanise]

YOUR LIFE AS SOMEONE WHO IS WELL KNOWN.

⊹ Yow! This is "tarotbook" official website 🤣. Don't mind my edit, I know it's not perfect but for me it's freaking beautiful and aesthetically pleasing 😭

༉ ‧ ₊ ˚ how to choose pile? ✧ . ˚

꒰⠀from left to right ; intuitively choose the pile your mind, heart and soul desire for. if you are having trouble choosing the right pile for you, here’s some tips you can do ; (1) take a deep breath (2) close your eyes (3) ask guidance from your guides (4) finally open your eyes and you can choose the right pile for you by the guidance you ask from your guides. if you are still having trouble by choosing the right pile for you let me know because i am willing to help and guide you.

1 - 2 - 3 - 4

rules, disclaimer and notes ☆

𔓘 Just a quick disclaimer : this reading was made for entertainment purposes only. this is obviously a general reading so takes what resonates and leave when it doesn’t, you don’t need to force your energy to read this and leave such a bad comment just to say it doesn’t resonates with you at all because the answer is very obvious! i don’t own any these pictures i collected them from pinterest so credits to the rightful owners.

𔓘 please ignore any grammatical errors on my reading since english is not my first language, thank you for understanding!

𔓘 Third to the last one, if you are not an avid fan of this kind of readings and not totally 100% agree about the outcome of this pac please just ignore this post and don’t engaged anymore, this pac can contains harsh, hurtful comments about you or the other person that can trigger you if possible, so kindly read at your own risk and take how it’ll resonates.

𔓘 Lastly, be happy and enjoy reading my works — feedbacks, comments, likes, reblogs and follows are really appreciated by the reader. (that’s me, lol :3)

for tips, donation, masterlist and paid readings ☆

TIPS JAR DONATION BOX

PAID READING SERVICES. MASTERLIST

[ .☽༊˚ ] check out my second account @danisetarot for more pick-a-cards/pick-a-pile updates!

SOURCE AND OTHER CREDITABLE : All of the pictures are collected and downloaded from pinterest , I don’t own any of them but credits goes to the rightful owners however edits and reading itself goes and belong to yours truly. I use the editor tools canva, polarr and ibispaint for the header, divider and piles pictures.

PILE ONE - THE STAR

If you will be someone who is well known individual, you probably someone who is an actor at the same time a singer slash model. You will be gifted with incredible voice, beauty and acting skills. Especially that you seems bewitched other people with the charm you have. You likely be an inspiration of many people and so, the warmth of sun and you stole the elegance of CHANEL brand which will be tied to you since you were born. Apparently, not all people will like you especially there's one of your circle is a stalking horse, a predator. Having this kind position of life will not be easy for you because you can frequently get sick which make sense since you have a busy and exhausted schedule and so, this crazy ‘so’ called fans and paparazzi's are following you everywhere which makes you feel disappointed, unhappy and wanted to give up with this kind of life and career. As well, I see here that you are all in one package person for many managements. Many brands and opportunities will be on knocking on your door, they want to have a collaboration with you. You will be one of those unforgettable social media sensation, the fame and popularity you have will be spread quickly as the years and months goes by. There's a high chances that you will be name by many magazines and newspapers as an overnight ‘world-wide phenomenon star’. While behind the scenes and, you likely attract many secret admirers from the field you have ; there's a lot of people who wanted to win your heart but you are looking for someone who is unique, authentic and natural person.

Similar stars : IU, Zendaya, Beyoncé, Jennifer Lopez, Marilyn Monroe, Ariana Grande, Selena Gomez, Hailee Steinfeld, Elvis Presley, Robert Pattinson, Taylor Swift and BTS's Jungkook.

Thank you so much for reading my work, let me know your thoughts, feedbacks as well tipping and reblogs is well appreciated. Tipping jar is already mentioned above of this post !! ♡

࿙‌֒࿚࿙‌֒࿚࿙‌֒࿚ 𝓞 ops you already reached the end. ࿙‌֒࿚࿙‌֒࿚࿙‌֒࿚

PILE TWO - THE WRITER, AUTHOR AND PSYCHIC

I can safely say that you are a writer or an author if you will be a well known individual especially the first card on the spread is the hermit followed by the high priestess then the moon. And just wow, you really have a high potential to be one, just in case if you are planning to start writing a book maybe this is a sign. You have a full wisdom and you never stops learning and you always expanding this knowledge. I see people perceive you as a very mysterious individual, they wanted to know you more deeper but you only shows few to the public, it seems you putting the limit. Thus, this is the reason why you have many supporters, they know you respect yourself and so they make sure that they won't bother your personal space. You will create a healthy relationships with them and you will create a peaceful community. You think that you hold the power and so you take the responsibility to spread this kind of classiness as well that the way you writes in can lift up and inspired other people. While, if you are someone who have a great intuition level and spiritual ability like a psychic. You can be well-known in such spiritual and tarot community. A lot of people will be following your social media accounts and there's a high chances you can achieve this in a small period of time, you will attract many people because of how excellent your ability is, in a fast period time you will be the center of attraction. Everyone on this kind of community wanted a closure with you and be your friends but just advice from me, you need to be careful whom you trust and befriended with because as I see here not all of them will have pure and clear intentions towards you, 2-3 people is having a feeling of envy, hate or dislike you and wants you to go down with the thrown you are owning but I don't think they can harm you because you are very witty individual, you are likely to ignore them rather than to deal them because you might be thinking it would be just a waste of time. But yeah, people will praise and love your works and it will be hard for them to let you go. These people will probably perceiving you as kind, gentle and light individual. They will be fall with the energy you have, the words you were having it can help people to find the right and healing path, it just, it will leave a positive mark to them. The Leo, Scorpio, Virgo, Aquarius, Libra and Sagittarius placements are prominent in your chart but it doesn't have to be if you don't have any. Additional message here, one of major issues you are facing right needs an attention and solution, you maybe seeing multiple angel numbers currently especially 1111, the angels wants you to take the first step.

Similar stars : William Shakespeare, J.K Rowling and Jane Austen while from tumblr ; amourdivine, thedivineart, azure-cherie, sunkissedchld, saturianprincess, neptunes-sol-angel, infipretty, the-wild-candy, pearl-tarotist, psychelis-new, ariesluvz, galene-gothic, royaleofury. (I have more to mention but it will be long if I will put them all, sorry. And I don't usually checking these accounts I just wanted to write them out here because they have an attractive energy for me.)

Thank you so much for reading my work, let me know your thoughts, feedbacks as well tipping and reblogs is well appreciated. Tipping jar is already mentioned above of this post !! ♡

࿙‌֒࿚࿙‌֒࿚࿙‌֒࿚ 𝓞 ops you already reached the end. ࿙‌֒࿚࿙‌֒࿚࿙‌֒࿚

PILE THREE - THE ENTREPRENEUR/BUSINESS PERSON

You will be known the field of entrepreneurship and business world. You have a creative and unique tactics that can drawn people attention to your products you were selling. You will be named of one of those people who are great and big in this kind of profession. Many people especially your loved ones will see how you become bigger person as this business grows, like from business into company. You will be powerful individual, you and the brand you make will be discussed with many people online and maybe it can go get viral. You will sweet and lovely individual for other's and for your customers. You will get invited in many awards and people will name your products as one of the best. The products you were making are very authentic, amazing and surreal, people will usually love it and they may buy bulks from you or if not, they probably recommend it to other's. It seems like you can create from nothing into something where it can lead you to a successful and rich life. The Cancer, Sagittarius, Scorpio, Aries, Capricorn, Aquarius and Pieces placements are prominent in your chart but it doesn't have to be if you don't have any.

Similar stars : Rihanna, Jack Ma, Bill Gates, Oprah Winfrey, Ariana Grande, Selena Gomez, Kylie Jenner, Elon Musk and Kim Kardashian.

Thank you so much for reading my work, let me know your thoughts, feedbacks as well tipping and reblogs is well appreciated. Tipping jar is already mentioned above of this post !! ♡

࿙‌֒࿚࿙‌֒࿚࿙‌֒࿚ 𝓞 ops you already reached the end. ࿙‌֒࿚࿙‌֒࿚࿙‌֒࿚

PILE FOUR - THE ROYAL ONE

If you will be well known individual you probably someone who is in a high class, a lot of people respect and protect you because anytime your life can be in danger. You have power, firm and structured person. As the emperor card being present here on your spread, you will bring stability to people perhaps all of that, this also means you are taking the accountability and responsibility as a member of a royal family. You will gain the financial stability benefits and so you will be influential this is one of the reason why you choose to practice and check your words in mind before you speak. You taking the public and nation duties. Your movements will be always watched by many. You were be love by many people, they think you are sweet, serious and intelligent. Despite all of this, you are not free to choose what love you want for yourself ; most likely you were get engaged to another royal family member. You will be a legend in this field, probably someone who will break the norm.

Similar stars : Princess Diana, Queen Elizabeth I, Queen Elizabeth II, Princess Leonor and Prince Harry.

Thank you so much for reading my work, let me know your thoughts, feedbacks as well tipping and reblogs is well appreciated. Tipping jar is already mentioned above of this post !! ♡

࿙‌֒࿚࿙‌֒࿚࿙‌֒࿚ 𝓞 ops you already reached the end. ࿙‌֒࿚࿙‌֒࿚࿙‌֒࿚

© daninixx ── all rights reserved. do not copy, translate, alter, or repost my work.

[ideas-4-stories]

NOOOOOOOO I LOST THE AU I WROTE FOR YOU 😭😭😭 I LITERALLY SENT IT AND TUMBLR SAID "NETWORK ERROR". L FOR THE WIFI. L. Not cool I'm literally crying I thought that AU was genius. It was a Teacher!Buggy AU with Crocomom and Dadhawk. + Shanks co-parenting Luffy with Crocodile. That note was so long I literally spent like 45 mins writing it here on your ask and it was just. Gone. Or I think it did. Why does life hate me. I'm just gonna be brief with this cuz I still think it's golden lmao. Croco and Mihawk work long hours so their kids (Luffy, Zoro, Perona) have to wait for a few hours until they're picked up by their parents. The school doesn't have school buses bc I said so (no I am not cruel it's just out of my budget /j). So Buggy takes the responsibility to keep them comfortable and entertained while they wait. Croco and Mihawk meeting this charming (and clown looking) blue-haired guy and they start courting him. Shanks gets dragged in on the courting bc of Luffy. Also he was already courting Buggy. I didn't write their process of courting I basically skipped and went,, their wedding will take part in a Goth castle. And the design are all sunshine and rainbows (literally). Sanji, Usopp, Nami, Vivi, Zoro and Luffy being in a class along with other kids. Franky, Robin, Jinbei and Brook are in higher classes. Chopper is atom. Not here in the world yet. Perona is like, 2-3yrs older than her brothers so. Yeah *awkwardly shuffles* (I love perona I swear-). Implied Zosan. Some rando: but you didn't imply shi— Me: Shhh I did. *gaslighting*. Law is also there in the classroom with lower grade strawhats. He's suffering. He only attends 3 days a week tho, he's mostly homeschooled bc of his sickness. He's homeschooled by Cora. (You can pry Law and Cora from my cold dead hands. You can separate them when I dissolve into ashes). Don't worry as he gets older his sickness is cured. Ofc he's cured by Cora. He's saved by Cora in every universe. In every AU. Every Era. Every life they will ever live. I will die on that hill– *applies the nobody dies/everyone lives tag on this AU* let my babies be happy pls. Let my man Cora live and travel the world with this emo boy (Law). Doffy isn't real, he can't hurt anyone. Ace is there. Sabo is there. Every One Piece character is out there somewhere. They're like hidden stones and you have 0.02% of finding them. I thought I was just making a Teacher!Buggy AU but then it turns into a Modern!AU for everyone. Let's gooooo. Sora divorces with Judge and remarry with Zeff so now Sanji lives with all his brothers and his sister. They get separate classrooms tho, and reiju is perona's age so she's besties with her. (I do not play by canon's rules with ages bc i live in my own world) They both tease their brothers (Sanji and Zoro) about their crushes on each other. The heart crew is there. Bepo is a dog, a very fluffy one. Kuina is alive. Kaya is there, same classroom with Usopp. I have no idea how to continue this lmao, but I do hope you find this interesting bc Buggy is 100% great with kids and probably teaches well bc he is a big nerd and makes lessons interesting. (Also, the whole reason why I wrote this instead of letting the idea slip through my mind like the others is bc the image of two goth men courting a clown looking mf was funny to me. So here we are lmao. The way I wrote this makes Shanks look like he's the person they let into their open relationship twice lol I'm so sorry 😭😭)

Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

That's really sad, I really like this idea (though I see Shanks and Buggy more as siblings, but I understand the idea of Shuggy) It's fine that this became about so many people, I really like this.

Teacher!Buggy sounds so cool, you know that he's the flashiest and maybe one of the craziness of the things he'll do to get his students good things that will boost their learning. He knows that every kid might not have the same learning paths as others.

How many classes does this man teach? Who knows, too many for how much he gets paid. All teachers needs to get paid more.

I would think Jinbei and Brook being other fun teachers in the school, like Tom could be as well!

I really like this idea, and the imagine of two gothic men trying to court a clown-looking mf is really funny to me as well.

[fairydollsteps]

Levi Ackerman as a Father

(Just a reminder here: This will takes place in the time-skip where the world is peaceful and Levi finally owns his dream tea shop. As well as, building a family with you.)

- Levi never thought that he would have a happy future after the brutal war and deaths of his loved ones. All his life is about surviving this cruel world. Killing titans, watching his dearest friends and comrades that he considered as families dies in front of him and carrying all the heavy burdens on his shoulder. 

- Levi is tired and he thinks he is also going to die in the future and reunite with his loved ones. 

-That’s when he meets you and gosh. He wants to thank the Gods for finally sending someone to him where he can love and be ease with. You have help him feel happy and take him away from his grief and pain. You were patient with him and read him like a book. 

- You always comfort him when he feels sad or has nightmares. Take care of him like a mother, making sure he is in a healthy condition. He was surprised when you still stay even when he yell at you with painful and cynical remarks because you know what he meant is not true. You know that he said that because he feels like he doesn’t deserve to have you as his lover. Yes, you always stay by his side and accept for who he is.

- You have proven yourself that you would never leave like the others and Levi will forever be grateful for that and fall hard for you even more.

- That’s when he proposed to you and you happily accepted it and take his last name. The wedding was beautiful and delightful. Both Levi and you had  wonderful time there. 

- After a few years of marriage, Levi and you have found out that you are pregnant. Levi realized that he is going to become a father. He is going to create a family with the woman that he loved dearly.

- Of course because of his past and never had a father figure. He was worried and was about to lose his mind. But you reassure him that he would be a great father. His doubts and anxieties perished when he saw his child finally born into this world.

- It’s a girl and she looks just like you. He couldn’t explains the feelings he is having now. It’s the same with his mother along with Farlan and Isabel but is more extreme that he froze. Then, a tear of happiness drop and he was crying. Crying in tears of joy.

- He loved his girl so much that he would do anything for her. He swore to himself that he would protect and care for her. He would give her everything that he never had as a child. Love, Education, Fun, Peace, Everything. Just anything just so she does not have up like him.

- Levi and you decided to name your child “Selene’ because her eyes is as blue as the night sky and shines brightly like the moon. That’s the only appearance trait that she inherit from his father. The rest is from your look and also your personality. Basically, she almost the copy of you but has Levi eyes. And Levi loved that a lot because he can see Selene in you. Your charming and intellect  personality and your ethereal beauty.

- Levi would be the protective type of father. Always making sure Selene is secure, away from danger. Eating healthy and stuff. Despite his protective nature, he would always teacher his daughter to take care of herself and be independent. 

- During Selene’s toddler year, Levi would spend his time with her a lot and take care of her while you are away for your work. You can trust Levi to take care of Selene.

-She is 100% daddy girl.

- Levi and Selene would play tea party together, hide-and-seek, play board games and so on. Levi would also help her do her homework that she don’t understand certain questions. He would always be pleased to see his daughter tries to solve a difficult question by herself and find her determination and attempt adorable, reminding her of you.

-Levi would take Selene to his tea shop to work. While he works, Selene would sit down on a table obediently and do her homework or read a book. Sometimes, she would bring her friends along to her father’s teashop to hang out.

-Levi would sometimes spoil his precious daughter. Like if she wants that book because it looks interesting? Bam! She is now reading it in her bedroom. Or if she wants that chocolate cake because she is craving sweets? Bam! She is now eating it happily. But of course, Levi would remember to control himself even looking at the puppy eyes and the mantra of “please”.

- Like I mention before, Selene inherits your intellect traits. Therefore, she would always come home with high marks and being the top of the class, making her father proud like a peacock and Levi would brag about it. (So cute.)

- Selene also inherit Levi keeping hygiene and tidiness but not too extreme. She and Levi would both cleaning the house and you would come home noticing that the house is spotless. You would always give her something as a reward for helping her father and pat on the head. ( and kiss on Levi’s forehead too lol)

-Selene is terrible keeping track of her time like she would be at the library for a more than she should or hanging out with her friends. Is not that does not want to listen to her parents. It’s just she does not know when what time is without anyone telling her.

- Which makes Levi worried constantly (and sick of finding where the hell is she  for hours), so Levi bought her a pretty compass and teach her to keep track of her time. Now Selene finally on time for dinner. Giving Levi a sigh of relief.

- Selene still keep and take good care of the compass that her father give for a long time and cherish it dearly as if is her treasure.

- The workers that work for Levi’s teashop enjoys spending time and taking care of her while Levi is away for a sec. They love to give her sweets and gifts. They all thought she is adorable and treats her like a little princess.

-In conclusion, Levi would be a good father. He is very happy to have you and Selene in his life and wish this happiness would last forever.

(Hey you made it to the end! Thank you so much for reading! This my first and ever post and I really appreciate for your time to read it! I am sorry if there is any grammar errors in her. I am too lazy to check it to send it to Grammarly! haha! Likes and reblogs would be deeply appreciated. Once again, Thank you Reading and I do Hope you enjoy reading my writing!)

[icewindandboringhorror]

hmmm’st....Another group of replies since I’m trying to keep up with my inbox better this year !! (I know #3 is missing, I accidentally mislabeled them and skipped straight to 4 and don’t feel like re-editing the photos lol ) 

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1. “What would you recommend doing with a 1x1 ft square of tapestry-eqsue fabric ?” (question typed out in a shortened way/some words left out)

Hmm, I’m not really sure!  I always have problems with tiny squares of fabrics since I often like.. am in love with the colors or texture or pattern or etc, but at the same time it’s too small to actually serve as a really substantial part of the outfit lol, so I usually just use them in small ways for accents? Squares are really good for making collars out of, since you can just cut a hole in the middle and put your head through it and it’s done lol, but you can also tuck them into shirt collars or belts so they hang out a little and just serve as a pop of color or something. If you don’t mind cutting it, you could also turn it into little strips or change the shape, make it into a small pocket/bag, wrap pieces around the arm or tie it around boots as decor, tie the cut up buts together to make it into a longer piece of fabric then use that as a belt or sash or headband, etc. Idk, I have trouble with small fabric bits as well, but maybe some of these ideas help!!

(other answers under read more so it doesn’t get long)

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(note: sorry to everyone who's questions I had to shorten when re-typing them here, I hope I abbreviated them okay and didn't leave out anything you saw as very important! The full message is still shown in the images above and I just wanted to save myself a little time on the typing aaa!) 

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2. “Sorry this is random,  but you seem like a very nice and thoughtful person. Hope you have a happy new year”

Thank you!! I always try to include one or two of these nice ones in here just to continue to show appreciation for people who send me kind things! Even if I don’t respond to all of them (since I feel really awkward just like.. publicly responding to a ton of compliments lol), still know that I really appreciate it! I hope you also have a great year, anon! 

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3. accidental mislabeling error means free space for cat image

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4. “will you do more videos? vlogs, tutorials, explaining your art, games, podcast, anything? sorry if it's weird to say, but I just really enjoy listening to you speak!” (question typed in a shortened way/not fully quoted) 

Possibly? I just can’t think of many things to make that would work well for me?

vlogs:  I don’t like to do vlogs anymore because of my mental illness and becoming more anxious about showing my face or daily life in public. Though I do enjoy aspects of the “lifestyle blogging” sort of content, like I think it would be cool to be able to make easy videos where all I do is sit down and talk about my hair or something for 20 minutes lol, or etc., but I guess as I get less comfortable with showing myself, I tend to stray away from stuff like that?

(this is also why I’ve been shifting more towards like... costumes, art, world-building, making games, etc. as opposed to outfits/personal style/personal life type content, since I feel much more comfortable being framed as more of a ‘detached and faceless creator that shows some personality but is still mostly obscured’ than ‘open personality that posts selfies and talks about their life extensively’ or etc. Obviously I still post personal stuff like questions and thoughts/opinions and cat images and etc., but less so.. like I don’t even remember the last time I posted an actual selfie where my face wasn’t obscured by costume makeup or something lol..) 

I would absolutely still do stuff like “room tour” or “what’s in my bag” videos, or like a single video showing my usual daily routine or something,,  if those were ever requested of me/interest was shown in them..  I’m okay with small one time “lifestyle” genre sort of content. But anything too invasive or long term (daily/frequent vlogging, or like “story time” videos) I think I would get uncomfortable with lol. 

tutorials: I’m not really sure what I would do tutorials on? If you want me to make a tutorial about something, feel free to let me know something in specific! My main problem is that I don’t feel like there’s anything unique that I do that there aren’t  already 100 other tutorials for, so I’m never sure what I should make those about. I get occasional asks with people saying “do a makeup tutorial” or “do a sculpting tutorial” or something, but they don’t ever say WHAT SPECIFIC makeup or what SPECIFIC thing they’d like to see me explain, so then I’m still left alone with vagueness and unsure what to do lol! 

art explanation: Same kind of goes for the “explaining your art” thing like, what art? Explaining what specifically about it? You mean worldbuilding? Or sculptures? etc.??  I’m actually always happy to make videos for anything people want to see (since I enjoy the process of making them, usually), but I just am never sure exactly what to do. But if I had specific prompts I would be glad to explain something though! Videos are fun, I just never know what to make them about lol

games: I would absolutely love to do let’s plays/game videos or something (I assume this is what you meant by just saying ”games”??)  since I enjoy games, and my whole thing about not being able to relax (I feel guilty about playing games (or any other leisure activity) unless it’s working towards something, I have to have a way to justify the activity being productive, which is why I rarely ever play games despite liking them a lot lol..but if I made videos or etc. it would feel slightly more worth the time/effort).. But seeing as I’m fairly lower income I really don’t have much money to buy games, and I don’t have a very good computer situation lol. I would need to have money to fix my current computer, and a few other things, etc. etc. 

 Idk, it’s something I think about occasionally and that would be extremely convenient  for me and my current situation (in terms of having something simultaneously low effort/relaxing/ suitable to my needs/mental illness/physical issues, but also that feels productive at the same time), but it’s also a very weird genre of stuff (idk if I’d feel comfortable being anywhere near the broader “games” community ghggb), and I would need a little money first lol.. 

podcast: I would never start my own podcast because I have no idea what I would even have a podcast about, and I also don’t have any friends who do that sort of thing (podcasts usually have multiple people, right??). I would do one with someone else or something like if a close friend asked me I guess, but idk... I couldn’t ever see that being something I start by myself?? Especially since I don’t know anything about them or what equipment or programs are required to edit together the audio, I’ve only listened to a few of them every once in a while, etc. am not really tech savvy in the field of like. how podcasts work ggh. So that’s probably the most unlikely one out of everything you listed, sorry!! 

As for other stuff, I’ve thought of answering questions in audio form instead (so rather than writing them out here, I’d just make a video (though not with visuals, since I don’t like filming myself talking..maybe I could put footage of cats over the audio though lol) of me going through my inbox and answering things, since I feel like typing takes me so much longer than speaking, and sometimes it’d be more convenient). 

I’ve also thought about just like.. talking about world-building stuff, like.. rather than writing out a post, I can just ramble about things or something,, but I’m afraid I’d get too disorganized, so it’d probably only be good for answering questions about specific things (which I don’t really get questions about worldbuilding stuff that I could have enough to sit down and answer in a video lol.. I think I’ve gotten two so far?? which I already answered in text posts).

So idk, maybe those could also be ways to hear more of me talking? If I used audio more often to answer things or discuss things (like answering asks that way) rather than typing.. which would save me time anyway lol.. But I just feel unsure about it since it seems.. weird.. like.. some people might just want a quick answer to their ask and not have to skip to a certain time stamp of a video and hear me talk about it for 5 minutes lol.. 

But anyway, yeah, feel free to offer specific suggestions or support towards anything mentioned if it’s really something you want to see! I really appreciate that you even watched the silly little vocabulary video and especially that you actually enjoy my rambling lol (I sometimes feel annoying when I speak), and I hope I can make something sometime!! I just have trouble deciding on what content I should be making or etc., but maybe I’ll try to find a few more things I can do where I’m actually talking! 

(also thanks for hoping I feel okay! I am a little bit better, but still sick lol)

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5. “Hope you feel better (emoji heart that I can't type on a computer)”

Thank you!! It’s been really stink to be sick the entire first month of the year lol, but hopefully I’ll be better like.. by mid February at least!!! With how goal focused I am, it’s been like... utterly evil to not be able to start the year off well and get all of my to-do list stuff done.. I’m finally at a point where I’m finishing a few things again (like this post, and a few of the worldbuilding things from a week ago or etc), but I still can’t stop myself being.... deeply annoyed, by my loss of time and how much I feel like I should have gotten done already aaaAAA.

Especially I REALLY WANT TO DO another costume soon!!!! I have some laid out in my closet that I hope to do, but I keep waiting until I’m feeling better, since I’m afraid of having some random sickness related health problem in the middle of getting dressed and then having to like.. show up to the doctor while I have elf ears on and half a horn on my head or something ghghggh... 

But anyway, I can’t do anything to change it now, so the best I can manage is just to kind of.. ignore my losses and move forward and try to be as productive as possible from now on! I really hope I can still get some of my main goals (like the game, costumes, music, worldbulding stuff) finished in reasonable time, even if I basically lost the entire month of January into a void lol. Sometimes you just lose an entire month of time... life is just Like That and you have to move on and make the most out of it I guess! 

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6. Would you ever like consider selling your outfits???? I have an extended non violent larping thing coming up and i really love your outfits!

I might actually! I mentioned it before I think like, months ago, but i have a LOT of clothes I really want to get rid of, it’s just that it’s SO daunting. I’ve sold clothes before and it took hours and hours of effort, and you have to constantly keep up with it and track sales, and on top of that I really underestimated shipping prices (especially making the mistake of shipping internationally on one of them I think), and I ended up making no profit and actually losing $70 just from paying people’s shipping that I didn’t charge them for (which for me and my financial situation is.. A LOT.. like.. I do NOT have that kind of spare money ghghh).

This time I want to be careful about it and also I���ll have to charge a lot more (which of course, I feel guilty about since I have Bigg Money Anxiety and wish everything was free for everyone all the time gghb), and also it’s hard for me to find the time and energy to take literally hundreds of photos of hundreds of items and then list them somewhere and etc. etc. etc. 

BUT to cut down on that workload I’ve thought about actually just grouping them into outfits or like, groups of clothing that all match each other or etc. and selling them all together (so that I don’t have to photograph and list every individual item), and additionally that way I can maybe just do one batch at a time like.. maybe sell two of them a week or something, instead of all at once. 

Maybe just buying a certain size of box/envelope thing and stuffing whatever I can into it and selling them all for a set price like $40 a piece or something. Which to me sounds extremely expensive I guess since I’m someone who would never have $40 to just spend on clothing lol, but I really kind of can’t go much lower than that if I want to allot for shipping and not make the same mistakes again as last time (and definitely not allow people to buy internationally unless they pay me like.. $50 extra or something, which would be ridiculous lol). 

But anyway, especially since I have a few things I could really use money for (paying my guardians back for recent medical copays, and for my cat’s vet visit a few months ago, and also I have to fix the battery on my computer or buy a new one, etc.), I’ve thought about trying to do that soon!  Maybe sometime in the next month I can start listing some themed clothing groups/outfits/etc. and sell them at a slower better pace for me (like one group a week or so). I’ll definitely post about it if I do!

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7. (this one will have to be shortened a lot since it's so long, but I'll try to just type the main parts I'm replying to)  “Are you making/would you consider making a story with your fantasy worlds? Like a book or a zine or youtube videos where you roleplay as the characters and make them talk to the viewer or each other? If you don't want to create plot, you could just do characters seeking to educate humans bout their cultures or something.  I used to scroll past your posts since I'm more visual when it comes to fantasy, before realizing how interesting they are and I feel like your ideas need more playing out and exposure. ALSO, how do you feel about collaborating with other people on creating art? Or just being art pals and sharing ideas/plans/etc.? I just read your FAQ about collaborations so I understand the terms and my offer to be art friends still stands!” 

-- About whether I’ll make more things with my world:  

Thanks so much for the very nice message!! Worldbuilding stuff is one of the most fun creative activities for me to do, so I always appreciate it when people discuss it with me and etc. (not that I don’t also appreciate compliments on sculptures and costumes and etc., those are great too! But I guess because world stuff is something I’m so much more personally invested in yet also never get to talk about lol, anytime anyone sends me anything related to characters or worlds or etc my brain is instantly like !!!!!!!!!!!!! O v O !!!!!!!!!!!  ghgh). 

I am actually making a game like I may have mentioned a few times, which though it’s more character focused and doesn’t really have a plot/broader story (it’s basically like a dating sim except without romance/dating, but it has similar mechanics in the sense that the main goal is to get to know characters in the world and do tasks for them and etc.), it will include a good bit of things that have do with my world, seeing as it like... takes place there. 

And since each of the characters have their own backgrounds and etc., they’ll of course speak about various world-related topics. Like for example, one of the shop-owners you can work for is an elf from outside of the elven alliance, and another shop the player can work at is owned by a set of twins who were formerly part of a royal family within the alliance, so those characters (when getting to know them and doing quests for them and etc) will of course have different perspectives on the world and talk about some of the stuff that’s been brought up in my worldbuilding posts, just obviously in a more personal/casual way, since it’s dialogue rather than me writing exposition infodump posts. 

Like for example, the fact that alliance elves and non-alliance elves often have very different takes on the main elven religion, meaning if it comes up in conversation, both shopkeepers would give different dialogue relating to it, etc. Which since every character has their own unique situation and heritage and etc. (the game is set on a popular market street in a large global city, so here it actually makes sense for a bunch of different species to all be in the same place and etc.), I think could maybe expose players to a lot of the central worldbuilding concepts, depending on which shopkeeper they go with. 

Obviously characters aren’t going to just be doing unnatural exposition dumps about the extensive background of the world or something lol, but even just naturally and playing through a character with neutral favor (meaning not unlocking any special positive/negative dialogue options/etc), you’d still be able to get at least a few tidbits about the world. (especially since some character’s conflicts stem from cultural/worldbuilding factors, so it’s not unnatural for them to bring it up if that’s like.. something that seriously impacts their life lol.). It probably wont expose people to Advanced Lore like the time gaps or obscure types of magic or etc (well.. depending on which shopkeepers you talk to hbhbb), but it could help with some of what you’re talking about.. In the sense of it being a more accessible visual medium that, while not the MAIN focus of the game, does end up covering some of the world background information through natural dialogue. 

(always feel free to send an ask or something if you have any questions about the game, I never talk about it but every time I start to my brain unlocks and I have to stop myself from like.. saying literally every single thing about it ghgbhj)

Other than that though, I’m not currently working on anything that actually involves my world. I totally get what you mean though, and I’ve often tried thinking of ways to make it more accessible and etc (shorter posts, more clear topics, more visual elements, etc.), but it can be hard for me to work within those constraints when it already takes so much time for me to put those things together. It’s like I have so much planned out in my head, I kind of just want to get it out there however I can, since if I spend too much time deliberating about it or etc. it will become an endless task lol..

Ghhbh I actually have an extensive background in acting out characters, I’ve pretty much walked around talking to myself in different voices and etc. for my whole life and am used to like acting multiple characters at once and improvisational storytelling things (this is still what I spend a lot of my time doing lol.. I just.. walk around my house having conversations out loud pretending to be random people.. Especially when doing chores, like washing dishes or etc. is more fun if you pretend you’re a group of travelers working in a weird little elven restaurant bickering with each other the whole time hgh), but idk if that would be something I would do for videos. I feel weird about being on camera personally, even if I were in costume. But it is a really good suggestion since that is something which would be much much easier to produce than like, doing a full animation or writing a book or something lol. 

I have thought of reading my worldbuilding posts aloud/ doing audio versions of them, so that people could just listen to them instead of reading them (there would be no visuals like.. just black screen or something with audio of me reading it), but the way I write is like.. hard to read back? I love to read out loud (one of my favorite activities to entertain myself is to actually find random text I’ve never seen before and see how well I can sightread it. Especially random medical articles with a lot of words I don’t know in them lol, it’s fun to just try to go through a new text fast in a convincing narrator voice or something, scrambling to mess up as little as possible), but I find that I have to modify my writing in order to read it that way (I’ve attempted to make a worldbuilding audio thing before, this is how I know this lol), so it’s almost like I’m writing a whole second version of the post, which makes it take longer?

I could modify my writing style (less having things in parentheses and etc., side sentences that occur in the middle of main sentences and break reading flow, etc.. Like this one lol), and have thought about writing in a way that would be easier for me to read back, but it’s just a whole thing I’d have to plan. I’ve definitely considered it though, and could pursue that idea further if people were interested or something! 

I’ve also thought of writing dialogue out between characters as a method of worldbuilding (not a story, but more like a script) since I think that’s a good natural way to convey things or give snapshots of moments in history or etc... but like.. That would just be more text so it wouldn’t really solve the problem lol. I could do audio reading them I guess, but since I’m more used to improv stuff, idk how I would do trying to read actual already written lines, even if I was the one who wrote them, it would definitely be something I’ve never done before lol!  

I also just think doing smaller things could help, and anything interactive. Like shorter posts, especially with more visuals in them, typically get seen more, and then stuff like me making a game or other condensed things.. I’ve thought of making like.. a character selection screen, not an actual game but kind of like a dress up game where you get to choose your background from the different species in my world and then dress them up a little or etc. but that would be a LOT more work than it seems probably lol.

A lot of social media is just a combination of luck/the right connections, quantity, and consistency especially. I’m sure if I could do a short post a day or a drawing of a character every other day or something and reblog them a lot, then more people would see the other things I do as well and etc., but it’s just... very difficult for me to operate that way since it’s so inherently antithetical to my personality and how I work lol (I tend to be more of a.. .. ‘stay isolated working on things and barely post anything for 3 months then post 10 things at once out of nowhere before going inactive again’ type of person ghbh.. which is like.. horrible from a Social Media Strategy standpoint). 

(Oh also, I still have no idea what a zine is even though I've seen them around and looked at a few and even looked up the definition of one to try to understand them hhghgg.. I’m still not exactly sure like.. what qualifies as one or how I would make a world-related one lol.. so this is why I didn’t really go into much detail on that specific suggestion of yours since.. I’m Uneducated Fool )  

But anyway, Idk if I could do acting videos, but I could do audio reading of posts or other things, and I am at least in the middle of working on a game which heavily involves elements of the world, so maybe that counts for what you’re talking about! 

Though personally it really doesn’t matter much to me if many people see my world stuff or etc., since really all the fun is just that I sincerely enjoy coming up with ideas and creating worlds and etc., even if I’m not doing anything major with it ( making a book series or comics or etc. I don’t feel like worldbuilding has to be working toward another project, and like that it can just be done for it’s own sake as a hobby), I still truly appreciate the sentiment and that you enjoy the world enough to give suggestions and etc. for stuff like that!! I’m going to keep at it however I can just because I love doing it so much, no matter if anyone really pays attention, but it is always unexpected and very meaningful when people like you engage with the content, so thank you for that! I’ll continue trying to make things and be productive and maybe use a few new ideas here and there just so it’s easier for people like you who tend to be more visual with things. I want to avoid leaving people out, and try to make a variety of things that can cater to more visual people as well or etc.! 

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-- About possibly being art friends or working together: 

Well you said you read the collaboration FAQ, so I’m under the impression that I no longer need to answer that part of your question lol, thus I’ll just continue on with an answer assuming you know all of that information! 

I’m always up for it I guess! I’m not sure about collaborating since I know nothing about you, and also don’t know where you live (remember I mention that it’d be much easier to collaborate with people I live closer to so we don’t have to like.. skype or some other weird digital method of communication in order to talk about ideas. Just since that sort of thing can get so lengthy, especially if it’s an actual project being taken seriously, I’d rather speak to someone in person and be able to work on it alongside each other better). If I got to know you for a few months and thought I could trust you/know we have a similar vision/don’t clash creatively or personality wise,  AND we also lived close enough to meet at least occasionally, then yeah! project collaborations could work. If otherwise, then unfortunately it might not work in that regard. : U

(OH also if we’re a similar age?? I forget that people on the internet can be way younger than me.. I have nothing against younger people (very against the weird overly-simplified generational stereotyping ggh), but I would just feel kind of weird being an adult (early 20s) working with a minor who’s like 13 years old or something. I would be happy to talk about things from time to time and help with ideas or something, but actual like.. long term collaborative projects like writing a book together or creating and selling a game or something may be strange just due to us being at such totally different stages in our lives and etc. So, to collaborate on projects or even just communicate frequently about them or etc. I would also prefer we’re a similar age range (you’re somewhere from like 19 - 28 yrs old or close to that) ghhbh) 

As for just talking about art though, that could work fine probably! Since it would just be casual discussion and less serious than full on project collabs or etc., you wouldn’t need to live near me or etc. Though of course I would still need to know about you first (especially politics and stuff like.. I don’t want to get 50 long conversations in with someone only to find out they hate trans people or are a huge racist or etc. I always like to establish that ahead of time or at least have some idea of a person’s leanings.), and understand your personality a little.

 I am pretty socially anxious and due to health problems and stuff can sometimes be bad at replying ( I know some people expect instant responses, whereas I usually reply in a day or two ( depending on how long the message is)), but I also don’t currently have any friends to talk about world-building stuff with really or who care much about that sort of thing, so I’m always open to having conversations about stuff like that! 

Especially if it’s a low-pressure causal sort of thing in the sense of like “hey let’s just see if we get along well conversationally and if we don’t then no hard feelings”, etc. One of the main reasons I’m often afraid to talk to strangers is that if we end up NOT getting along and I decide that I want to stop talking or etc., I’m afraid they’ll get mad at me or lash out at me or something. I prefer it when the expectation is set ahead of time like “we can both walk away at any time and should feel free to openly communicate how we feel about this conversation at any time. if we wouldn’t make good art friends or have trouble communicating then that’s fine and we just respectfully stop talking”.  Which sounds like.. very common sense but.. I've talked to a few people in the past who struggled with communication and would be passive aggressively mean to you about it or something like that instead of just being open about them not feeling like talking anymore or etc., which is always a confusing situation to be in and I’d like to avoid it! 

Anyway though! I can’t promise anything since I don’t know you and am cautious about new people (I don’t want to be like “OH sure we’ll be best friends!!” before I even know you and set up false expectations), but I’m definitely at least open to talking,  especially about world-building stuff, if we’re compatible and respectful to each other and etc. And am also open to collaborations, under the right circumstances like what I’ve mentioned. Thank you  again for the very nice set of asks!!!! I hope you have a great day, anon~ 

--

And that’s all for the reply post. Thanks to everyone who sent in asks about stuff!!

[thebibliosphere]

Out of curiosity, since you're not just an editor but also a writer, how do you manage to split your time between them and not get utterly sick of looking at words? How much editing do you can do on your own work versus needing someone else with fresh eyes to look at it and edit?

I split my day up into allotted time periods for work, or I did when I was still attempting to edit full time. At the moment I only have one or two days a week which I allow for editing work because my energy is so limited. This also better enables me to separate the mindset I am in for writing my own work vs the sniper mode I go into when hunting for the elusive mistakes others might miss. I also have to switch writing styles in my head when I am editing, as a good editor should be able to adapt to the tone of their author, not just hack through it. One of my biggest pet peeves when I am working with another editor (usually because the author has hired two people) is when they clearly miss that something is a stylistic or tonal choice and mark it as “incorrect” or “use of slang sounds informal” like really Editor Number 2, really, you’re going to insist everyone speaks like they swallowed the Oxford English Dictionary and were stunned over the head with a thesaurus. Really? 

I also try to make sure I take regular breaks, whether it’s to watch something, read some old fave fanfic, play video games, or just even chat with people so that my brain has time to unwind and stop being "on”. At least in the professional sense. Which is why it’s a dick move when people are like “lol Joy your spelling and grammar is awful rn I thought you were an editor” and I’m just here on the internet wanting to unwind and not be in work mode using up spoons to try and have conversations with people. There is a difference between Me and Work Me, and one is happy and can’t type for shit and the other is one more overused em dash away from setting fire to things.

As for how much of my own work I edit, if it’s fanfic or tumblr posts I try to catch as many things as possible, but there will still be times where I come back to something a minute later or two weeks later and still find mistakes which I can then rectify and roll my eyes at myself for misspelling “excerpt” as “exert”. 

Which is why when it comes to any work I plan to sell, I will definitely be throwing my work at the heads of some editor friends because there is just no way I will ever catch 100% of my own errors. This is why books also go through multiple rounds of edits and usually get worked on by at least 3 people in publishing houses, because no one human is 100% infallible. Whenever I take on an editing project which I know hasn’t been beta’d be some people I know (the first time I read anything professionally written by @deadcatwithaflamethrower and it had been beta’d by @norcumi it was to the sound of blessed angels singing, because it’s rare to get such a clean copy of anything), I will usually insist on a timeline that allows for me to do three rounds of edits.

I do have a habit of pre-formatting my work though. I know some people don’t like writing with things double spaced, but I just can’t even read a file anymore without “fixing” the spacing. It gives me a headache otherwise.

[thebeautyblender]

PREGNANCY PRODUCTS EVERY MOM-TO-BE NEEDS

This post has been sponsored by PALMER’S and PURE ESSENCE; however, every opinion is my own and my genuine real interest and use of the products.  

When I first got pregnant, I had no idea how much the products I used would change.  Like really change.  Or more than that, how many new products I would have to buy for my changing body, skin, sleep, etc.

Being that I’m now 6 months pregnant, my belly is pretty big and still growing.  And when that belly grows, it grows fast, and you have to change with it.  I remember Christmas shopping with my sister and mom in December and having to unbutton my pants and walk around covering up with my purse in front of me.  It was 1. totally embarrassing and 2. extremely uncomfortable having your jeans that you totally could fit into no problem 1 week ago (some days easier than others depending on my fonut intake - yes, that’s a baked donut that is freaking amazing/has been my #1 pregnancy craving :) ).  It felt like my jeans were shrinking, but no, that was just baby boy growing!  It was time for maternity jeans and I needed them NOW otherwise it was yoga leggings for days....

I started researching so many products from maternity jeans to pregnancy pillows to the best stretch mark belly cream...  After work, I’d get home and just research the internet and Instagram, asking every Mom I knew and I started buying and trying.  Let’s just say some of the products weren’t great, but I did find my go-tos after some trial and error.

Here’s what I found and am loving...

1. PREGNANCY PILLOW:  Wamsutta® Quilted Body Pillow in White

Sleeping has been interesting to say the least.  Let’s just say I get up to pee every few hours and the leg cramps that I jump out of bed with that make me feel like Frankenstein, are NOT FUN!  I’m a belly sleeper (anyone else?!), so the side sleeping thing is really new and difficult for me.  I tried a ton of pregnancy pillows, the Snoogle, the Boppy... I tried THEM ALL.  I hated having the pillow under my head since I’m picky about pillows and felt my neck was too elevated with most pregnancy pillows I tried.  Toby (my pug) tried to get in every single one of them with me, which just defeated the whole purpose.  I almost gave up until I went to Bed Bath & Beyond to try a body pillow instead.  And I LOVE MY BODY PILLOW!  You don’t need anything fancy - It’s so inexpensive and comfortable.  They come in different firmness levels so give it a try!  I wrap one leg on top and really cuddle with it.  Toby can then sleep on my other side.  I sometime prop a pillow on my other side to avoid laying on my back, but Toby usually keeps me propped up.  Thanks Toby! :)

2. NO STRETCH MARKS!:  Palmer's Cocoa Butter Formula 4.4-ounce Tummy Butter

OKAY SO I DIDN’T KNOW THIS WAS A THING!  But obviously you can get stretch marks when your belly and body is growing rapidly!  I started using an oil based stretch mark product, and then realized the ingredients weren’t as good as I wanted them to be.  I noticed that I was getting stretch marks on my boobs already and it FREAKED me out.  LADIES, BE SURE TO MOISTURIZE EVERYTHING... YOUR BELLY, YOUR BOOBS, YOUR BUM, YOUR BACK.... Sorry to get graphic here, but I mean it!  Start the moment*** you find out you’re pregnant - it’s never too early.  I was a little too late to the game, but luckily I haven’t got another stretch mark since!   I started using Palmer’s Tummy Butter and I seriously looked forward to it every day.  

Palmer's Cocoa Butter Formula Tummy Butter is an easy, effective way to heal* and avoid* stretch marks (double whammy!).  Whether you've recently lost a lot of weight, or are a new mother, this butter formula works to help your skin smooth and avoid the stretch marks that will last way longer than you would like!  

3. THE BEST MATERNITY JEANS: 7 FOR ALL MANKIND Maternity b(air) Denim Ankle Skinny in Black

Okay, another item I had to trial and error with.  I first found some that went below the belly and they well, were falling off of me!  I then started looking for jeans that went above the belly and would stay up all day.  I LOVE these 7 FOR ALL MANKIND jeans.  I seriously wear them almost every day...  and probably will continue once bub arrives.

4. THE BEST PRENATAL VITAMIN! Pure Essence Labs One N Only Prenatal Vitamins

I tried a few different prenatal vitamins, most gave me headaches or made me incredibly nauseous.  I also hated having to take more than 1 a day as I would tend to forget.  I found PURE ESSENCE and love that it’s just 1 a day.  My headaches stopped right away once I started taking them.  I love that they are vegan, soy free and contains a bunch of superfoods to help both me and baby. I also haven’t got sick my entire pregnancy (they sometimes say that you are more susceptible to getting sick while pregnant), and I want to owe it to the extra immune support this vitamin gives.  

Also it has a NATURAL FORM OF FOLATE, which was super important to me.  Most supplements use folic acid, which the body must convert to folate.  Many people lack the enzyme required for this conversion and thereby get no benefit from folic acid.  Pure Essence’s folate is Methyltetrahydrofolate (MTHF).  MTHF is already in the active form so that even those with the enzyme deficiency can use it.  Pretty obsessed with this vitamin!!!

5. BEST PRODUCT FOR CALM - Pure Essence Labs Ionic Fizz Magnesium Plus - Calm Sleep Aid and Natural Anti Stress Supplement Powder - Raspberry Lemonade

I MISS WINE!!!!!  Lol.  No but really, I was use to coming home after a long day of work (I run my own wellness brand/company and teach yoga), and would pour myself a glass of wine.  It wasn’t even a glass most of the time, but even a few sips would help me unwind and relax.  Being pregnant is great, but the no wine and no sushi thing, is well, A THING!  I needed to find something that I could take before bed that would help me unwind and was still safe for me and baby.  I love having a warm cup of tea with this Magnesium powder.  I swear it helps to avoid leg cramps in the middle of the night.  AND IT 100% helps me sleep better throughout the night.  If you were a back or belly sleeper, get ready to learn to be a side sleeper (it takes a while and magnesium helps me fall asleep while on my side).

6. BEST PREGNANCY TOP - Women's Ingrid & Isabel Rib Knit Maternity Tank

So I didn’t expect I would have maternity wear go-tos, but I do and lets just say my outfits are LIMITED.  I basically wear this tank under everything because I love the way it holds the belly in.  I bought at least 3 of these so I can wear it every day.

7. BEST PREGNANCY APP - PREGNANCY PLUS

The best pregnancy app I found.  I love the weekly updates, what size fruit baby is, common symptoms I might have and even Dr. Appointment reminders/what they will usually test for when.  I also like the “What To Expect” App and the book is also extremely helpful!

8. HYDRATION IS KEY!: S’well Water Bottle

I started getting pretty gnarly headaches around week 8.  They were almost daily and would start early in the AM and not going away until around 6pm.  I tried my best to not take anything, but sometimes would take Tylenol.  I found that drinking water early in the AM and before bed was key.  HYDRATE MY PREGNANT MAMA FRIENDS!!!!  Your body is working a ton right now and it’s key to stay hydrated.  I take my S’well Water Bottle with me everywhere to remind me to drink up.

.   .   . 

(Here’s bump at 26 weeks!)

Hopefully this post helped all of you mama-to-bes.  These are my main go-to products I’m using right now and that have been helping me majorly get through this pregnancy.  Overall, I’ve been feeling great and can’t complain, but of course there are modifications we need to take and products we need to buy.  Have fun with it!  I’m now in the stage of obsessing over baby’s room, and let’s just say, that post will be fun of goodies too!

[keeganbee]

OH BOY QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS FROM ME

tagged by @sapphicattack​!! here we go there are so many omg

LAST

1) Drink: water. it’s usually water. god I drink so much water

2) Phone call: volunteer coordinator for the animal shelter. we play a lot of phone tag what with my night shifts

3) Text message: to my mum, told her I’m not sure who she is bc I hadn’t seen her in several days

4) Song listened to: Hurts by MIKA

5) Time you cried: yesterday, violently while/after watching Logan 

HAVE YOU EVER

6) Dated somebody twice: ugh yes

7) Been cheated on: UGH YES :/

8) Kissed someone and regretted it: UGHHH YES

9) Lost someone special: hhhyeah

10) Been depressed: mmboy going on seven years now. much much much better right now than I was before though.

11) Gotten drunk and puked: once. that was enough

THREE FAVOURITE COLOURS

12) indigo

13) blue-green

14) brick red

IN THE LAST YEAR YOU HAVE YOU

15) Made new friends: yeah! on tumblr and at work.

16) Fallen out of love: nope not this past year

17) Laughed until you cried: laughed until I gagged

18) Found out someone was gossiping about you: yep

19) Met someone who changed your life: noooot recently

20) Found out who your true friends are: actually yes

21) Kissed someone on your Facebook list: this is a weird question. why is facebook a quantifier

HOW MANY/MUCH

22) Facebook friends: 130 and I talk to like, 8 of them

23) Pets: YEAH Caoimhe and Lady and Lilly and Bonnie

24) Want to change your name: sometimes, mostly bc I’m sick of hearing it yelled so much

WHAT

25) Did I get for my birthday: a new keyboard/mouse and some money and a good bottle of wine <3 

26) Time I woke up: 1:30 pm. I’m on night shifts. I’m not just lazy. I’m on night shifts AND I’m lazy

27) Were you doing at midnight: Watching playing fo4 and trying not to freeze to death in my basement

28) Can’t you wait for: M A S S E F F E C T

29) Was the last time you saw your mom: like 3 hours ago. living in the same house and we didn’t see each other for almost a week lol

30) Was something you wish you could change about your life: lol, I honestly can’t begin here bc it will make me too sad

31) Are you listening to right now: >__> an asmr playlist

32) Gets on your nerves: intolerance, mansplaining, people who refuse to acknowledge that I’m doing the best I can

33) Talked to a person named Tom: this question - “WHAT talked to a person named Tom” but uh, yeah, my father

34) Is your most visited website: I hate this site and yet

35) Elementary school/primary school: tiny public school in NW Ontario

36) High School: shitty big high school in central Ontario

37) College: durham. dropped out bc ~*depression*~

38) Hair colour: brown 

39) Long/short hair: short, just about at my collarbone now

40) Crush: usually, yes

41) Do you like about yourself: I’m really good with dogs, they usually like me immediately. also I sing nicely sometimes

42) Piercings: earlobes. actually. earlobe. my right one healed over, as I discovered 2 weeks ago when I tried to put earrings in for the first time in like a year

43) Blood type: ?????????????????? I honestly don’t know

44) Nickname: Lina/Pleany

45) Relationship status: a what

46) Zodiac: pisces

47) Pronouns: she/her

48) Favourite show: uuuhhhhhhhhh. uh. I have watched... shows... before....yes

49) Tattoos: one of these days. I’m so poor and I need so many necessities right now lol

50) Left or right handed: right 

FIRST

51) Surgery: not that I can recall

52) Piercings: ears

53) Best friend: a girl named kaitlyn in elementary school. we haven’t talked in 11 years but I have her on fb

54) Sport: soccer (man I wish I’d kept it up)

55) Vacation: england? too young to remember. first and last time at 2 years old

56) Pair of shoes: wtf how would I know that

RIGHT NOW

57) Eating: a tasteless sludgey protein bar from costco. I am desperate

58) Drinking: water!!!!! always water. (sometimes orange juice. even more rarely, alcohol)

59) I am about to: look at apartment listings :/

60) Listening to: more... asmr....

61) Waiting for: movie night at friend’s on saturday. gotta get thru long shift tomorrow first ;(

62) Want to see: my frands

63) Want to get married: that’s a big ol’ <vague wiggling hand gesture>

64) Career: customer service :[

WHICH IS BETTER

65) Hugs/kisses: Yes

66) Lips/eyes: y e s 

67) Taller/shorter: taller, I’m already so short, pls be taller than me

68) Younger/older: older. trial and error on this one. weird how much a difference 2 years can make.

69) Romantic/spontaneous: spontaneous, romance makes me nervous and flighty in practice. I love it in theory tho.

70) Nice arms/nice stomach: damn nice arms are nice, y’know

71) Sensitive/loud: sensitive. I have enough loud around me most times

72) Hookup/relationship: eeehhhhhh

73) Troublemaker/hesitant: troublemaker so I have someone to balance out my 100% anxiety personality

HAVE YOU EVER

74) Kissed a stranger: hhhhhh yep

75) Drank hard liquor: yee

76) Lost glasses/contact lenses: can’t lose what you don’t own~~

77) Turned someone down: /high school flashbacks YES

78) Canoodling on a first date: define “date”

79) Broken someone’s heart: weirdly, yes

80) Had your own heart broken: weirdly, definitely yes, but by a platonic relationship, not a romantic one

81) Been arrested: no!! there’s still time though.

82) Cried when someone died: I... don’t really ever stop

83) Fallen for a friend: lbr who hasn’t (not counting aros/aces I guess)

DO YOU BELIEVE IN

84) Yourself: like 5% of the time

85) Miracles: heck no

86) Santa Claus: no, bc he stopped delivering the good shit years ago

87) Kisses on a first date: probably not

88) Angels: no

89) Love at first sight: definitely not

OTHER

90) Best friend’s name: CAOIMHE

91) Eye colour: hazel /cue kelly clarkson

92) Favourite movie: yes I have one of those

I wanna tag people but... I don’t want to annoy anyone......... if you read this and you wanna do it, do it and tag me so I can read all about you

[ethereal-aeitherea]

1.30.2018

Today was a day, but really critical in speaking-up and making efforts to be more of the person i’d like to be..... Super anxious and feeling bad rn tho so i’m writing this.

Started with pulling an all-nighter to finish my first ever VR game.

I decided to skip my 3D modeling class to get some 2.5 hour sleep.

I wish I had gone to that class.  Our teacher actually took roll today.  I’ve been going to every class (which was my way of getting myself even enrolled in the class and off the waitlist) but the one day I don’t show up my attendance grade is affected.  Now i have 0% for attendance.  My friend who has been sick the past three classes went today and has 100%.  My friend said I should def email the teacher to say I was sick or something and it’s totally unfair the way the attendance grade got recorded (although he’s happy lol).

After I got up I did my makeup because I looked dull and dead and my expression looks shitty when I’m sleep-deprived and I wanted to pull myself together in preparation to speak up today during critique.  Makeup is confidence for that.  Also just feeling more set in your self helps with composure etc...

My VR game doesn’t work the way I want it to.  Instead of being in the middle of the world, you’re floating off to the side looking in.  The person test-playing my game just stood facing the wall the entire time because that was the closest she could get to my game space.  I felt so bad, it was not the experience I envisioned at all, and it was due to a tiny error I had even made a point to document in my notes.

At the end of crit my teacher asked if I had final comments or things to say and I mentioned my problem with the positioning of the player and he said quite clearly to next time fix those problems right away.  Someone near me was currently fixing his game after his game didn’t work initially, his crit was postponed and we moved on to the next person.  I instantly felt a pang of (shame/guilt/regret/oh-no/fuck/heart sinking idk how to call this) and I felt so disappointed, like after mentioning the issue with the viewpoint why did I not further suggest that I postpone my crit to fix the problem...?

One of the things I thought my teacher would be impressed with was I added a secret to my game which took me forever to code.  I realized understanding the syntax of code is not my strong suit at all.....  I was finally able to get it, but we couldn’t even access it to unlock it (or even be close enough to see it) so it was obsolete.

-

Today marked a shift in behaviours for me.  Rather than working all night on a class (3D modeling) where projects can be turned in late, and then subsequently scrambling to construct a haphazard project for my first ever VR game which is to me more exciting and groundbreaking, I chose 1. HEALTH, and 2. MY INTERESTS.  I decided to sleep so I could wake up and go to the VR lab early (I was hoping I’d get to test my game but the professor wasn’t in the classroom to set up the hardware) and then I didn’t even touch the 3D modeling projects and invested all my time into making a conceptually thought-out virtual reality game.

Choices were made that differ from my usual, typical course of action.  I have noticed especially recently that showing up early reveals a lot and allows time for collecting composing and preparing oneself for success.  Also, conversations happen during this time which can be useful; I’m usually the one to show up right on time or late and then stay afterwards...  But today actually during that time before class where I WASN’T able to test, instead I was actually able to write the code I had been stuck on the night before!  The one to demonstrate the *secret* I had envisioned for my game.  So that was great, I jsut couldn’t see it during play-testing.

I absolved the issue.... admittedly I am kicking myself for it a bit because I had even known about how to avoid this problem occurring but during actual game dev the problem was never an issue to me.  This is a result in the difference between the Steam VR [Camera Rig] asset versus the Unity FPS Controller PreFab.  The Main Camera (automatically interjected into a scene when a Unity project is created) needs to be turned off when using the [Camera Rig].  Makes sense.  However when testing my game myself, without a VR headset I needed to use the FPS (first-person shooter) and not the VR thing, and the Main Camera does not affect the display of this.

So in the actuality of my own experience I did not anticipate that problem.  I located and fixed the problem during class even.  But I was proud of my game, that I felt like I included the baseline of everything I wanted to have, nothing serious or crucial was lacking, I gave myself enough time to work it through to a good enough stage.............. My efforts were not quite illustrated although I was able to speak about them, it’s not quite the same as showing your work.

-

Letting my work speak loudly enough for itself is something I am striving for.  I am tired of having incomplete projects I am embarrassed to show as an example of my work ethic.  I would like to have a finished, working portfolio to demonstrate my capabilities and creative process.  Learning to speak up is part of that journey.

-

After class I was walking with the classmate from earlier, and I wasn’t sure if he was busy and needed to work on his project or if he was fine if I tagged along.  I asked to go check out the work room with him and I got to explore a new area of the Art Building on campus.  I have never actually had a class in that building, they’ve been in the design area or otherwise...  I got to see some of his sketches and work 8To see his process of creating 2D stop-motion animation was fascinating and inspired me to try out new processes of working, and to work diligently and fruitfully at them.

-

After hanging around in the art building for a bit, I went to a club meeting for people who like tea.  I socialized more and tried to learn names again.  The meeting concluded rather quickly but I stayed to socialize afterwards.  It was a bit scary but I tried to act relaxed in that environment, which was a bit awkward already due to the short nature of the meeting and the guest presenter who was asking for volunteer help and people didn’t seem too enthused... I tried my best to socialize and as usual I defaulted to talking about school and classes.  Whenever possible I try to diverge into study abroad because that leads into travel, language, culture, backgrounds, etc. but someone did that for me, by mentioning they had studied abroad themselves.  The girl kind of reminds me of myself, the long dark hair with golden amber ends, the pale skin and “I-rushed-and-didn’t-have-time-for-full-eye-makeup-but-I-can-definitely-do-my-own-face-skillfully” look, with ripped denim jeans and all white skate shoes, calm voice and funny jokes here and there told while maintaining the same voice volume.  I wonder if I looked like her a year ago when my hair was like that.

-

Later talked to someone i had met last school year right after i transferred.  He was a tall asian but born in europe, with a european accent.  I was so interested.  Reconnected with him on a dating app, but I so want to be his friend.  I remember him being attractive since he was SO TALL and had nice shoes but I’ll see how much a year has changed things around.  Coffee tomorrow.  Keep it short and sweet.

[opepin]

march: week 3

13: i was tired in the morning and it was cold T^T my coconut milk was also expired lulz. vivian left her water bottle and gbf and her were gone when i woke up. i almost forgot they slept over because they were such bums yesterday LOL. <3 i took a nap on the train and got to work a bit late, but apparently, everyone was a bit late this morning. i just started pumping out templates and then went into meetings -- i got so hungry during my meetings. i ran to use the bathroom and then microwaved my food and ate during one of my meetings haha. after all of my meetings, i packed up and left to work from home. i was crashing so badly. i timed the train this time and only waited a few minutes. when i got back home, i edited some videos, and then called it a day. i took a nap on the air mattress and realized that it was cold to sleep on because there wasn’t a comforter or anything warm on the bottom.

kevin came back from climbing, showered, and then i woke up. omg, i slept for like 2 hours. i must have been real tired. kevin cooked today (thank you <3) while i relaxed and dozed off. then i put away the air mattress, cleaned up the living room a bit, and then helped do dishes. i also made chicken nuggets and they were delicious. oh, i snacked a ton when i got home and both me and kevin were both feeling like eating junk food. xP we didn’t know what to watch but kevin gave me the option to choose a new series. we started watching, ‘how to get away with murder’ and now we’re hooked! we watched two episodes, kevin went to game, and then i did 60 minutes of hip hop cardio. then i showered, we brushed our teeth together, and then we went to sleep. well, kevin stayed up to watch some dota and play some pokemon. it was around 2 am.

14: it was a nice wfh day. it didn’t look like it was snowing a lot but then it started and i was glad i was home with kevin :3 we got free bagels and hot chocolate from deco and got started on work for the rest of the day. we fit in an episode of ‘how to get away with murder’ during lunch and then i went back to work. kevin had a pretty lax day. kevin had the chance to braise our beef for a delicious dinner~ we watched a good amount of episodes and then i did laundry and we ate dinner while watching more. we stopped for a bit so that i could make oatmeal raisin cookies and then we continued while eating the cookies. after our mini-marathon, kevin washed the dishes and i helped clean up. then he went to game while i did some kickboxing. i showered and then brushed my teeth, finished watching a youtube video and then ko’d before 2 am, which is good considering my sleep schedule this week LOL.

15: i woke up and had a bit of a headache, the roads were icy, and so i worked from home again. these cookies are so good but so bad for me. i need to stop snacking! i will bring some of these to work so it’ll be ok by tomorrow ;D it’s been hard being productive this week because of the weather and just working from home. i had a good number of calls and then worked on tutorials. i tried ordering new sports bras from aerie but they had a gift card error so i rq’d... i ended my day with a call and got two one pagers done so i felt semi-productive. after work, i washed dishes and put the drying rack away. then i picked up keys from rachel for the guest suite this weekend ;D so excited. then i started making banana bread! i forgot to soften the butter and then i forgot to defrost the bananas. i don’t think i like banana ice cream... anyway, i somehow got them to thaw and then put that in the oven. i also spent some time defrosting chicken (we forgot to take it out).

kevin got back late due to train problems and then we checked out the guest suite. it’s $200/night and it’s pretty nice! it’s decorated in very contemporary modern style haha. then we went down, kevin cooked, i ran around and watched some videos, did some exercises, and then ate dinner (delicious chicken and bean sprout and veggie stir fry) while watching ‘how to get away with murder.’ we watched two episodes and then spent like 2 hours talking (: hehe it was really nice <3 then kevin went to game, i finished up working out, showered, dried my hair, and ko’d. i wanted to sleep before 1 am, but i slept at like 1:50 am...gg me.

16: i was ready to go to work but i was still sleepy. i went downstairs to see what the free food situation was all about but there were people down there so i just went back and got my jacket and got on the train. my bag was full of goodies: banana bread, oatmeal raisin cookies, and meltyblend chocolate. it was nice seeing everyone again, but everyone seemed pretty heads down in work. i ate lunch during the hour of tech and watched some youtube videos and then launched into 2 hours or so worth of meetings T_T i was dozing off so i had to stand up and move around and also cole gave me gum to keep me awake. thanks, cole! i was kind of counting the hours until work ended because i was so tired lol. i did get a good amount done though. everyone ate all of my baked goods by the end of the day. i had to get cole to take a bit home, but i competed against doughnuts and i won ;D anyway, i went to the chocolate store with cole and he bought white chocolate peanut butter cups and more pear jelly beans, and yeaaah. i didn’t buy anything because i am sick of sugar at this point. my skin is breaking out because of it too :(

we walked to south station and then i waited for kevin for a bit. he left when i got there? LOL so he took the silver line and with our luck, it was 15 minutes until the next train came so we waited together. lol the train was packed for some reason? it was 6 pm... and i kind of pulled a girl’s long hair when taking off my backpack ;( sorry girl! this is why i don’t have long hair anymore haha. we got home and we finished eating all of the banana bread and cookies and then ate some all-dressed chips. then i started playing pokemon again. i need to catch all of the pokemon!!! i ko’d on the sofa while kevin cooked dinner... he woke me up and we ate dinner, watched ‘how to get away with murder’ and played pokemon. i caught both celesteelas with p good IVs. then kevin washed the dishes and gamed while i did 60 minutes of kickboxing to try and get back on my fat burning grind. omg, i ate so much sugar and fat T___T then i showered and we both hopped into bed before 1:30 am. i ko’d while kevin played pokemon.

17: i think i was well-rested today. i’m trying to get back to 6 hrs and 30 minutes of sleep to 8 hours of sleep. i took my time getting up in the morning and then got to work and it was only me, dave, and jim in the office -- the product team. it’s nice being in an empty office :P i’m glad i went to work today. i was very productive in the morning and there were leftover munchkins from yesterday. the coconut chocolate one is pretty good! i was in standup for a bit too long, but it had to do with a long discussion about something very important and i am excited about it. i ended the day with that meeting. dave left and then i packed up and got on the train where a lady pushed passed me and then said ‘you don’t have to push.’ maybe i got on the train a bit too eagerly? anyway, i got home and it was sooo nice outside! it was bright. so i whipped out my yoga mat and did abs and hiit workouts. kevin came back from climbing early because he thought he was straining one of his wrists too much. so he came back home and ran on the treadmill instead. 

i got my ae sports bra purchase today and tried them on. i wasn’t sure if they didn’t fit so i had to get second opinions. i’m keeping them both now ;D i love the zipper in the front! i showered and then started cooking dinner ... pretty frantically because i didn’t prep correctly. i didn’t wash dishes because i didn’t think i would need to and then the recipe called for making the noodles and heating up chicken stock at the same time so that everything would still be hot when served. @_@ so i frantically cooked and tried to keep the noodles warm while cooking the egg and tomato. it turned out pretty good though! it really was a simple recipe and i just should have prepared better. kevin and i ate dinner while watching an episode of ‘how to get away with murder’ and then we booked our tickets to stockholm! we’re planning to fly to copenhagen right after and then fly back~ we did that and made a list of to-dos for the rest of the planning since we’re not going until summer.

then we packed some things up and headed over to the guest suite! they couldn’t fix our shower tile this weekend so we rescheduled to monday and tuesday and rachel let us keep our stay in the guest suite for this weekend ;D so we got there and then i got to use the bath bomb! it was so cool! the tub might not have been completely 100% clean though. hmmm. i’m probably not going to take baths ever again unless i know the tub is super clean / i cleaned it very well. we had a super relaxing evening together and it was so nice :) the bed was comfy but the pillows were a bit too much. we ended up knocking out while cuddling and woke up grumpy because our skin was so dried out by the heating in the room. .___. so i put lotion on my body and kevin did too and then we brushed and ko’d so that it would stop bothering us LOL. i would rate this room like a 3/5 (if it was me staying here as a guest). they didn’t have any shower stuff, no water filter, and the tv didn’t work. oh, also wifi didn’t work. so hmmm.... the guest suite isn’t all that it’s cracked up to be. we still had a great evening together though ((((:

18: kevin got up so early today. .___. like possibly at 8:30 am or 9 am. we were both really dried out from the guest suite’s heat. i stayed in bed a bit longer with kevin until we both got hungry. we brushed up, packed everything except the bath stuff and toiletries, and headed back to our apartment. it smelled like leeks and cabbage and potstickers in our apartment for some reason. kevin made us potstickers, we played some pokemon and then headed to our massage. there was traffic on the way there but we got there only 5 minutes late. we had guy masseuses today. mine was gentle and apparently, they both used interesting techniques and focused more on other parts of our body instead of the back. i’m still a bit sore, but i would rather have the ladies work on me from now on. anyway, we got stuck in really terrible traffic for like 2 blocks because of construction. i played ‘i spy’ with kevin in the car and we just messed around.

he dropped me off and i baked some chicken nuggets and made some rice. he went to get bubble tea but the store was closed ;( so we just ate nuggets, i did internet errands and kevin played some overwatch. then we ate leftovers for the rest of lunch. we played pokemon until it was time to leave for our reservation at o ya! the train had a mechanical malfunction and all the passengers were kicked off and we had to wait for the next one. i freaked out because i thought we were going to be late (we were) and it was rude because this is a high class af restaurant. kevin calmed me down and we got seated and then it was time to order, cry, and eat. cry because everything was hella expensive, but we really wanted to eat here. it was a great first time experience and we had a lot of fun. we ordered 13 items, got roasted green tea (in love), and ordered 2 dessert items. we loved the uni toast, the coconut tapioca dessert, the pork belly, and the mushroom nigiri. i loved the eel nigiri of course. the dessert was my favorite. we also ordered $70 wagyu beef with potato confit and it was on point, but probably wouldn’t get again. the potatos were cooked amazingly.

they even had sewing kits, lint rollers, iphone chargers, etc on hand and you could get them from the host if you needed it -- fancy. the crowd was older people and a good amount of business men. it was a $400 meal and we’ll definitely be coming back for celebrations and whatnot. sumi will always have a special place in my heart though. i think that’s when i really started appreciating japanese food more. anyway, we took the train back (btw, o ya is like on this small hidden side street near south station and it’s so low key but highly rated) and kevin gamed while i watched soem youtube videos. he gamed a bit too long and i got upset because we were supposed to spend more time in the guest suite. i got over it after showering and then we went up there and i got to use my oatmeal luxury soap from lush and the rub, rub, rub bar. the water was much warmer and i think it was bad for my nerves because i went to sleep with the tingly nerve sensation. oh well, it will be my last time bathing for a while. that was good way to end the night :) it was another relaxing and fun time with the bear in the guest suite~ so grateful for this awesome week and i never want it to end, and it probably won’t because it was just spending time experiencing new things with kevin that made it great. <3

19: so we slept at like 3 am and we woke up at 12 or 1 pm. we were dead. we made potstickers and chicken nuggets for brunch. i was cramping a lot. T_T so i took it easy and just did laundry, which was smaller than usual? and then got my gleener (sweater fuzz remover) and tried it out on my leggings... it ended up ripping a hole in them T__T or rather maybe it was the dull razor i was using? the razor did a better job btw. so then i filed for a return, contacted bombas because there’s already a hole in my socks, and then looked around the apartment for thread? ugh, sad that i didn’t ask for a sewing kit in o ya now. i was a bit bummed out by all of these events and my stomach and cramps didn’t help either. i also have a terrible throat/ear pain. :/ sigh. we planned meals for the week earlier in the day so then we just changed and went to get groceries.

we got everything we needed at kam man but some items weren’t the freshest. we couldn’t find my coconut milk or any croissants left at bj’s. we have to go grocery shopping a bit earlier now :( haha. i like going late to avoid to crowds though. so we left bj’s with orange juice and some english muffins. we got back, i folded the laundry, helped cook noodles, and then we watched ‘it follows’ for our movie date because we didn’t want to go out and watch ‘logan’ or ‘get out’ or ‘beauty and the beast.’ it was a pretty good movie -- kevin got scared ;P it was a different kind of horror film. kevin cooked lunch while i exercised for a bit. then he vacuumed and showered. then i showered and we made the bed together and i went to sleep. zzz. i went to sleep before 1:30 am!! woot.