#there have been a lot of post nov 5th days that have had the feeling of an aftershock

[destinyandcoins]

Goncharov posting is so popular because it requires no time commitment to read/watch source material in order to have fun engaging with it, which is vital because we all know full well it’s never the Right Time to start a new show/movie/book/etc.

[crackers4jenn]

Okay, now that it's the next day and my brain isn't just a swirling hormone cyclone of horny Looney Tunes noises I wanted to recap Misha's live show a little more thoroughly for my own memories, since you couldn't take photos or record.

*

I went with a friend who's only experience of the spn fandom is via me trauma dumping on her about it. She's seen some of the show, post-Nov 5th, but she didn't develop any sort of attachment or, you know, "mild liking" to it at all. She gave up several seasons in and declared her life all the better for it. Fair! An appropriate response, actually.

But because of this, she didn't really have an idea of what to expect from the show. Same here - I mean, I figured there was going to be a comedic element to it - but that was as specific as my understanding got. I've been watching spn con panels online for years and years, though, so I knew going in what Misha's on stage humor was like, what sort of jokes he'd probably tell. She went in blind, and she did have a fun time, but her first takeaway after was "that was.... interesting." 😂

Okay, so first of all! The venue was separate from the con, we got there a little before 7 when they were supposed to open the doors, with the show starting at 7:30. Instead, we got let in late, but most people seemed pretty chill about it. I will say, waiting in line wasn't my fave. It was very loud, we were right by the bar, there was music playing, everyone was using their Outside Voices. With my voice so hoarse, I could barely talk with my friend without her first going "What????" so I definitely wasn't making pals with anyone around. But I did overhear quite a few people who had shown up solo who were finding other people to talk to. So if you're going to a future show by yourself and you're worried about feeling anxious or awkward or lonely, don't! The fandom is friendly, they'll make you comfortable. Even with my standoff-looking ass being so quiet, people were still complimenting my hair (up in space buns) and socks (strawberries) and being generally really nice.

The first part of Misha's show was a little clunky. He came out, uttered the words "enormous cock" about his newborn self, and it took some time for him to find his pace. But after about, I don't know, ten minutes, he seemed less awkward and more comfortable being up there stared at by so many people.

He talked about his mom dressing him as a girl when he was young; painting his nails, growing his hair long, putting him in tights. How this meant that, as a child, he thought he was going to grow up to be a woman. He also talked about how this meant he was a bit of a freak in his blue collar North Eastern hometown, and he got beat up because of it.

He mentioned his mom's activism, in ways that both positively and negatively impacted him. There were quite a few tales of close calls with drugs, of a childhood sleeping in tents, of being poor, of moving constantly, of being encouraged to not live by societal rules. When he talked about his mom, there was always a lot of fondness, and at the end of the show, he was straight up tearing up reading a newspaper article about her.

He talked about getting a boner in his first sex scene, when he had a role on 24. His partner in the scene wrote "hi, Misha" on her pasties and that apparently did it for him. This story was obviously rife with "my dick is so big" jokes.

He also talked about sneaking into a Hollywood Oscar's party v. early on in his career (as in, before he had one) and mingling with the likes of Jude Law (who, of course, was at a urinal next to him admiring his enormous cock) and Brad Pitt, and Chloe Sevigny giving him her number.

He talked about his kids a bunch. His divorce was turned into a punchline or two. (But never directed at his ex-wife 💖) He brought up his new girlfriend, so I had to sit there and endure the "I bought a sex toy for my long distance lady that she mistook for a birthday present for her kid" story, which!!! I knew was coming, that's something I had heard about from previous shows. And lemme say: uncomfortable to read those words, even MORE uncomfortable to listen to him admit it aloud in front of an audience that was half cringing, half cackling.

There were a couple points where he forgot where he was going with the story he was telling, or where he kind of just spaced out, or he played up the awkwardness. And it was all very charming! He's just a charismatic guy, he's got a great stage presence. The event was like a one-man stage production slash autobiographical comedy show, and somehow him oscillating between poignant sincerity and dick humor really worked. Probably because of the aforementioned charisma. And also that he's smoking hot. I mean!! I went paragraphs upon paragraphs without saying it, so I feel I'm allowed one objectifying "awoooooga" at the end here.

Anyway, I mentioned that my friend's initial reaction to the show was "interesting" but she enjoyed herself too and laughed in shocked delight way more than she doubled over in secondhand embarrassment, so, win!!

Personally, I had a great time. I've been to a few spn conventions before and I don't really enjoy the "dance, puppet, dance!" atmosphere that sometimes happens, or how parasocial it feels, but even when Misha took off his overshirt early on and flashed some skin, no one really hooted and hollered. He did label us his therapists early on, though, so maybe we were all respecting our professional boundaries.

In conclusion: 10/10, would do it again!

[mooseonahunt]

Cat’s Out of the Bag

Minecraft Streamer AU

Okay so I’ve had this thought brewing for a bit, but it’s about irl Serennedy vs their SMP characters. It’s about their relationship in and out of the Minecraft roleplay. It’s a lot so I’ll put it under the cut.

If they’re following the plot of the RE4 remake (with plenty of changes to make it fit Minecraft), then they’re clearly not together as a couple. But, for all the same reasons that we ship them, they’ve got those little moments interspersed in the roleplay and their fans pick up on them, too. It’s subtle enough not to out them, but it’s also subtle enough for it to be dismissed as being close friends (which they are; they’re dating but they’re also each other’s best friends).

So that kind of brought me to their shipping boundaries that I’ve posted elsewhere. Luis is chill with being shipped with other characters as long as the CC is also fine with it, but there’s kind of an exception with Leon. Luis is the captain of the Serennedy fanbase even though Leon has never outright stated his shipping boundaries. He never addresses it. Naturally there’s a divide in the fandom over whether or not it’s okay to ship Serennedy because, on the one hand, Luis is incredibly supportive of it, but on the other hand, Leon hasn’t ever said anything about it. It’s unclear what his thoughts are about it, but Luis is his best friend and encourages it, so it’s probably fine, right? There’s a lot of discourse over this.

It’s not like Luis and Leon are hiding their relationship on purpose though. It’s just nobody’s business. If they come out, they come out, but it’s not a huge deal. Besides, focusing on them as strangers developing a sort of friendship is ideal for the story they’re trying to tell. They reason it would make for a more compelling narrative if they’re not sure where they stand with each other because of their pasts instead of having them be together from the start. It makes for great storytelling getting to establish this sense of unease and distrust that develops into total trust after they open up to each other.

Then there’s also the fact that nobody knows they’re living together. They were roommates before they were together, so they each have their own rooms. They stream in their own spaces and don’t interrupt each other when they’re doing their own things, so nobody knows that they’re living together– which brings me to what I’ve been thinking about for a couple days now.

The news that Serennedy is, in fact, canon between the two actual streamers and that they live together doesn’t come out until well into the RE SMP’s story. It doesn’t happen until Luis’s character is killed off.

Luis is upset about his character dying, even if he did propose the idea himself. He wrote his way out of the SMP because he’s in grad school and his workload has started to pick up tremendously. He loved his time on the RE SMP, but he knew he couldn’t devote as much time as he wanted into it with his classwork piling up, so he made the decision to kill off his character. He didn’t realise how bummed out he would be about it until the day of. He finishes his stream, but he’s so sad over the end of his character, so he goes into Leon’s room while he’s still streaming. The chat goes wild. They realise Luis and Leon live together.

Luis walks over to him and asks to be comforted, so he sits on his lap and hugs him while Leon finishes up his stream. Again, the chat is going crazy. Serennedy is trending on Twitter. But that’s just a hug! It’s still totally friendly! Totally platonic! Leon pecks Luis on the lips because he knows he’s sad. That’s the end of the shipping discourse. People who thought they were queerbaiting are losing their shit. It’s like Nov 5th, 2020 for the Hellers except it’s actually clearly reciprocated. Leon ends stream like nothing’s happening. Ashley calls him to ask if everything’s okay because outing themselves like that was an insane move, but she’s happy for them and feels relieved that she doesn’t have to worry about slipping up and accidentally outing them herself.

The craze goes on for like a week and then everyone accepts it as the new normal. For a while nobody can get the Serennedy shippers to shut up about being right about them. Of course there are haters that drop the RE SMP, but they’re a minority and it’s not really noticeable when they leave.

This is subject to change as I continue to develop the AU, but I like this as the reveal. Sorry for rambling. I’m just really into this AU rn

[bloodydeanwinchester]

hi jenna gif questions for u 💜 what's your favorite part of making gifs? what's the most valuable thing/tip/trick you've learned? what's some of your favorite gif sets you've made?

hi ida!!!! sorry i took a couple days to answer this i wanted to wait until i had some time to think about it before i answer! i loooove these questions tho so thank you so much for sending them 💜💜

my favorite part about making gifs is probably coloring and like...that moment when i get the gif to look exactly how i want it to. i like to play around with coloring and try a lot of different things with it and that can be so fun! i think over the last like 6-8 months my coloring has really improved a lot and i've been having a lot of fun learning new ways to do things! but i actually had a really hard time coming up with an answer for this question because i mostly enjoy the entire process! the only part that i don't really enjoy is picking out the frames for each gif. i always start with way too many and then i have to cut stuff out and i hate that part. also it's reaaally hard sometimes to not end up with like 20 gifs cause there's so much i want to include!!!

okay im gonna cheat on this one and give a few things i've learned since i started that have been sooooo valuable to me. first is the importance of having a good quality download to start with. i think my gifs got significantly better when i finally downloaded all of the episodes in 1080p instead of using the screen recording on netflix like i had been before. second sharpening is so important! i did not do any sharpening on my first gifs i made! sharpening makes the gifs loook sooo sharp and crisp and pretty. third and kind of similar to sharpening was learning/figuring out how to use the camera raw filter. there's sooooo much you can do with camera raw filter (coloring sharpening lightening). and finally one thing i learned that i think made my coloring look significantly better was to try not to lighten the gif too much and/or to figure out ways to lighten darker gifs without it messing up the background too much (sometimes when they're lightened too much it will like pixelate the background and it looks awful)

and finally (in order of when they were made from oldest to newest) here are links to some of my favorite gifsets:

Bloody Dean Throughout the Seasons Set - this one actually came out really good considering the fact that it was made only a month after i first started making gifs! if i remember correctly it's the first set that i ever used sharpening on.

6x20 F+TM King Set - this one is a favorite mostly just because i love the song so much and tmwwbk is one of my favorite episodes. i think some of my favorite sets to make are the ones that i add lyrics to.

2022 Nov 5th Set - i was really happy with how this one came out! it's so hard to get gifs from episodes over different seasons to look the same! and this one had gifs from 12 different seasons! also i think this was the first set i ever made that got over 1000 notes which i remember being really excited about!

Laughing Dean Set - this one is a favorite purely based on the content of the set. it feels like injecting serotonin every time i look at it<3

1x12 Faith Set - another one based on the content of the set. i just love this episode so much.

Season 9 Dean Set - i LOVE the coloring in this set! and season 9 dean is so beloved to me. he is just so beautiful and bloody and sad.

2023 Cas Day Set - another f+tm lyric set! i love the space overlay that i added and the blue-pink of the coloring so much!

4x18 Destiel Every Episode Set - i loooove this scene so much! this gif series has by far been more popular than any of the other gifs that i post and this set is definitely the most popular in the series. no other set has ever even come close to getting 4k notes like this one did. also i really like the purple coloring a lot<3

[drarrygirl27]

Hello Peeps!

I haven't been on here in a long ass time once again. At this point, I think it's just to be expected of me. LOL! 😆

Anyway, a lot has happened since I last posted. So... First of all, Nezuko is doing well. She's already a year and 4 months old already. Where in the hell did the time go?! She hasn't gotten too much bigger though which is why Doug and I both refer to her as our forever kitten. She's on the lean and petite side which is pretty common when it comes to female cats. She has recently gotten fixed, but if her surgical site looks like it is mended at least for the most part (It's been healing very well from what Doug and I have seen throughout this week.) by the time Doug gets back from work today (This is officially her 7th day of recovery since we had her fixed.), she'll finally get to be completely free and not have to stay in a relatively well sized dog kennel for most parts of the day anymore which would be awesome for all because she's missed her freedom to do as she pretty much pleases in the apartment and Doug and I have missed her and her kitty cuddles and such and she has missed that as well. We have fairly recently allowed her some supervised time out of the kennel in our bedroom with the door shut so she can get a little exercise and such which of course she has really liked and just yesterday, she went back and forth here and there between where Doug was at and where I was at in our bedroom to get some good quality time and get nuzzles, snuggles, and cuddles in too as well.

Second of all, we've had another cat for probably about 2-3 months now considering that he was estimated to be 6 months, 3 weeks, and 2 days old on May 30th for when him and Nezuko both got fixed. His name is Tanjiro. Unfortunately, with a lot of things that were going on at that time and the time before then, we couldn't seem to find the time, money, and or energy in some cases to get some things done including getting both Nezuko and Tanjiro fixed at technically a good or decent time so that by now, they could have been properly socialized and such, but recently we've been getting some things going and prepared which is good because of the 3rd really big thing that has been going on for a long while now. However, before I get to that, please keep us in your thoughts and prayers for when it comes to anything and everything pertaining to all of these crazy changes. We are most definitely going to need it for many reasons. You'll see why for when I mention the 3rd and biggest change that is very life-changing in and of itself that is happening in the Jones and Filkins household.

Third of all, I'm pregnant! Doug and I both have been trying to get pregnant from June 1st of last year. I officially stopped taking my birth control pills on that day after we discussed it with my OB prior to that. I started feeling mild nausea for about 3 months starting in August or September I want to say in the early morning hours to about late afternoon hours of the day everyday and around that time and sometime after my period had started to regulate naturally, my flow was starting to fluctuate in quantity here or there (I made myself some charts that went from that specific pack of my birth control pills, including listing the last day I took one, and the day I stopped taking them altogether, that I was stopping on to June of next year because that's what my OB suggested for Doug and I to do before looking into our fertility and such like that (Not the detailed month charts. Writing down the month charts was my idea to keep track of things.). Then there was some spotting here and there happening more and more frequently as the months went by until there was almost nothing to absolutely nothing really showing up sometime in September or October if I'm remembering the months correctly so Doug advised me to take some pregnancy tests. I took the first two from the package on Nov. 5th and both the digital and + or - said positive. Well I did my due diligence just to be on the safe side of things and waited exactly a week after Nov. 5th to take the second two from that exact same package (a digital and + or - one) relatively around the same time in the morning that I took the first two and both of those also said positive.

We both were pretty sure that I was pregnant given my symptoms and the 4 positive tests that were taken exactly as the directions written in the pamphlet, but whenever we told his immediate family about it, we did both say that it's still just a possibility that I could be pregnant and that this wasn't technically an official announcement and that we won't know for sure for sure until getting it officially confirmed with my doctors so to please not say anything about it to anyone else until we get confirmation on it. They were of course very excited just like we were about the real possibility that I could be pregnant.

Fast forward to Nov. 28th, where we get told by my primary physician that the pregnancy test that they just did had come back positive. So... By that point, we have 5 pregnancy tests in total all saying positive which in and of itself was incredibly surreal, but nothing and I mean absolutely nothing could have prepared me for how more surreal things could get until I went to get my first out of 4 total ultrasounds I've had done where I got to see my baby for the first time right there in front of my eyes on the screen and hear their heartbeat on Dec. 7th. No words that I could ever think to say would be able to describe even a little bit of the feelings that I felt hardcore while I was seeing this little human inside of me and hearing their heartbeat especially for the first time. That was the moment it felt incredibly real, but still so surreal at the same time. After trying to conceive for just a small number of months, Doug and I were officially on our journey of parenthood.

So... As you can see here a lot of changes are heading mine and Doug's way and any day now I'll be having our baby because I am now according to the What to Expect App, 39 weeks and 5 days along and the estimated due date is literally this Sunday, June 9th which is insane because my own birthday is this coming Monday. Either way, you look at it Doug is going to be dealing with not only two Geminis (We be crazy sometimes. We're fun, but things can get crazy with us here and there.), but two female Geminis. May the Lord and all the highest, bless him and his soul is all I have to say. LOL! 😆

So... Yeah those are the biggest changes from last year to now that has happened and or is happening still. Oh and Doug and I both have a raise coming up in September and it's actually a really good one to be honest especially his because he gets paid more as a Plumber for the school district than I do as a Custodian for the school district, but what I have coming my way per hour is pretty damn good. I'm not at all complaining about it. Oh and another thing, whenever I get back to work from my maternity leave, I'll be at a different campus. I'm going to miss my boss and my co-workers and the people I've cleaned for and such, but I have to do what is best for my daughter which is why I'm being transferred to a different campus so I can work the morning shift while Doug works the evening shift. I'm a bit nervous and anxious about it, but a tad bit excited too because while the morning shift custodians get paid a little less than evening shift custodians do, it's also usually from my very little experience doing it at other school campuses a bit easier cleaning wise so that's a plus in my book especially being a new mom and all. My new work shift will be 6 am-2:30 pm instead of 2:30 pm-11 pm, but I know I'll be all right. I adjust to different work shifts relatively well. It'll take me, mind and body wise probably at most 2 weeks to adjust to that time difference especially as long as I allow myself enough time to eat a good breakfast and enjoy a cup of coffee before getting my work day started.

Well... I believe that just about covers it really at least for now. Have a good day and Ttyl, Peeps!

Sincerely, Kendra E. Jones

[sp00kymulderr]

5th Nov.

This week has been fucking weird. I don't want to go in to detail but the mental health was not it. But then the last couple days have been ??? oddly good. Thanks a lot to this place, this community. Idk. I'm not much of a good at talking to people person but there's just something about people in this fandom that makes life feel alright. I'm obsessed w you guys honestly 💕

I didn't do much this week. I got ghosted. I went to a Rammstein tribute. I ran around the park with my nephew. I had a shit few days at work but what's that but normal right now?

I've read some good good stuff this week.

Who would I be without mentioning into the beat of the night chapter one - transmission by @perotovar - one chapter in and this fic is already everything to me ❤️

Every Colour Illuminates by @the-blind-assassin-12 was a beautiful way to start my week off, a gorgeous read.

Not a fic, but this Self Care with Dieter & Jett post really put me on a good track after some bad days. Thank you @morallyinept

And because I didn't post my recs last week I have have to mention two fics by @covetyou which changed me fundamentally: Send in the Clown

open hand or closed fist would be fine (I'm reading the rest of swat now and um wow 😮)

Lo, how can i convince you to write a bravo the clown fisting fic?!?!

I actually posted quite a lot this week??? somehow??? The notes are shockingly low and tbh I nearly deleted one of these the day after posting but I am resisting and trying to remain proud that I even wrote anything.

I finally posted Our House of Flames pt 3 - Afterburn which I my ongoing 4 part Joel series. Great if you like grief and misery and guilt lmao.

Put up chapter one of Lucida Sidera, my Ezra series featuring my first original character! This fic is an update of something I first plotted and posted in 2019 and has a special place in my heart.

And I also posted these Pedro boy gender and sexuality headcanons!

Tomorrow I have a job interview…I'm not sure how I feel about it yet, but I do need a new job and this one helps me stay in a similar position to what I'm in now. The rest of the week is lacking in any plans bc I’m boring, but I'll definitely be back at the gym and I'm starting a new program so maybe I'll get back into heavy deadlifts since I haven't done any in a few weeks!

Also writing, with hopes to publish a dirty Joel oneshot and possibly a Dieter thing if I can get my act together!

Love you guys. Thanks for the things you do. You're incredible 🩷✨🩷✨

[emberphantom]

how long have you been a fan of iasip and how long on sunnyblr? do you know who here has been around for a long time? how has the fandom developed and changed from your perspective? has it always been so reddit-oriented? what have the main opinions (general consensus kinda shit) been in your eyes? were you into macdennis right from the start? did the fandom always follow rcg so closely or is that only after the podcast? sorry for asking so much, just interested in the history of this space

Step into my office Anon. Let me regale you the tale of Sunnyblr from the days of yore. Or whatever.

Me personally, I started watching Sunny in late summer 2019 (tragically I had just missed the fake MacDennis script panic of July 2019). My friends had it on when I went to their house and we didn't have anything else to do, so we just watched like a shitton of episodes that day and I was like hold fuck on this scratches something in my brain. I didn't start poking around on the Sunny side of tumblr until possibly a week later? I think. Basically in my skipping around Sunny episodes I was starting to pick up the vibes Mac and Dennis were putting down and as a joke I was like hmm what if I just take a look at the ao3 tag ahaha jk unless. And that was the beginning of the end. I'm not sure if I checked out the Sunny tag on tumblr first or the MacDennis tag but literally at that time it didn't matter. Sunnyblr was essentially MacDennisblr. Tumblr didn't get me into MacDennis but it definitely accelerated my hyperfixation with them This was all pre-s14 at this point for reference.

Honestly, not many people remain from that time or even before. I remember some folks I had followed reminiscing about post-s12, wondering if Dennis was coming back, or if he turned into the bar. Idk man I'm so glad I didn't have to deal with not knowing if Dennis was coming back like that would've been too much for me.

But 2019 Sunnyblr, and this may just be the nostalgia talking, but man it was magical. The gif sets, the meta breakdowns of episodes, the macdennis posts--god we were eating GOOD. It felt like one giant group chat in the best way. And then The Gang Gets Romantic happens an we were absolutely FERAL. Okay? Like picture Nov 5th but on a way smaller scale. But that was the energy, okay?

But then, tragedy struck in the form of Dee Day. That, for me was kinda the beginning of the end of that version of Sunnyblr. A lot of people were pissed. The glass shelves we had propped RCG and Megan Ganz up on had shattered. A decent amount of people left right then and there. But those who stayed were holding out for something -- a better apology from them regarding the brownface for one. And that...didn't happen (I don't want to speak more on this bc like...look I'll be real with you, I stuck my head in the sand on this one. But people had a right to be hurt by that episode and to this day I haven't rewatched it since it aired). But we trudged along. Bc it's "satire" and these are "bad people" and we are DEF getting canon MacDennis okay they are going to KISS on the MOUTH in BIG MO.

....and then they didn't. Clown shoes squeaking.

Okay trying to get this back on track...

As far as reddit goes, that's always just been the "dudebro" place for Sunny. Sometimes they make valid points and our braincells align and that warrants someone posting it here to discuss.

I feel like the general opinions kinda feel the same to me? Mac and Dennis are endgame, Archie. Dennis is bastardman but also baby. Charlie poor little meow meow. I do have to say...I feel like some stuff used to feel a bit more...grounded than it does now?? If that makes sense? Like idk man people were out here writing academic prose to describe the meta in Clip Show. And I do feel like that vibe's kinda gone. But it's not a bad thing. It's just different. Like it's more unhinged but hey we're still having fun so who cares?

Uh what else? Oh yeah so the RCG stuff. Like I said before, there was a point where Sunnyblr propped them up and we got reality checked real quick, okay? They went from being UnProblematic Kings ™ to Rob posting copaganda on his IG at the height of the George Floyd protests in June of 2020. That happening after all the shit with Dee Day was basically a powder keg. And that's honestly when Sunnyblr as I knew it, really died.

I think the podcast has def shoved them back into a more favorable light in the fandom's eyes. Speaking for myself, I never stopped stanning Glenn but Rob and Charlie and Kait were on thin fucking ice (maybe not Charlie so much but def Rob and Kait--actually mostly Rob). I think RCG have to be prevalent in the fandom as much as the characters do bc they're so close to them and the show like this IS their show y'know?

That's...all I can really think of. Like I said, not many people remain from those days. I can think of maybe a handful off the top of my head but I wouldn't consider them nearly as active as they were regarding Sunny when I joined. We're still moots but that's bc we like each other beyond the MacDennis of it all.

Sorry this is so long too lmfao. Like Sunnyblr was such a huge part of my life during that time so I guess I got shit to say. I also for real in no way consider myself the end all be all expert on this either. Like in no way am I the sole authority on Sunnyblr history. This is based on stuff I experienced and picked up on from other's posts from before my time. Anybody can chime in with their own opinions and shit. Correct me too. Idc.

Uh yeah. So I guess that's what you missed on Glee. Or Sunnyblr. The end? I hope that helped (for real).

[klaineharmony]

Happy New Year 2023!

Oh, my dears. It has been such a long 2022. I hope that you are still here, and feel loved and safe wherever you are. I have missed being here and seeing all of you.

I've been seeing a lot of posts re: the end of 2022, and how people have made it through the year. I have many thoughts about my own year of 2022. On the grateful side, Spouse and I are both still here. We did some major repairs to the house this year (to the tune of $11K!), with more to come in the spring of '23. We both have still managed to avoid Covid, almost three years in, and we are grateful for that. We are both gainfully employed, and have great coworkers who make our jobs more enjoyable. 

However, 2022, from my own perspective, was still quite hard. The spring '22 semester was the worst I've had in 19 years of teaching, save perhaps my first semester as a full-time, TT prof - and that was more about me being overwhelmed and exhausted, rather than about not knowing how to reach the students. Spring '22 students were comatose. They wouldn't talk, wouldn't participate. It took me until midterms to have a full conversation with most of them. And once they started talking to me, it was clear they were just as depressed, exhausted, and overworked as I was. They had so much on their plates - work, school, illness, injury. I kept trying to be flexible, to give them as much grace and help as I could. Some of them did better. Some of them just made it across the finish line - but they made it.

Summer was, at least, a little more restful than usual. I was so tired that I absolutely had to take a few weeks and just sleep, recover, work in the yard, do all the things that had fallen by the wayside at home during the school year. It wasn’t enough, but it was at least something. 

Fall '22 was hard, again. The students seem more cheerful and engaged, something for which I am very thankful. They did a really excellent job in my classes, for the most part, and I was glad they enjoyed themselves and learned new things, for I didn't feel like I was as good a teacher as I could have been. I had a D & C with my OBGYN early in fall term, to check for anything that looked precancerous or cyst-like (thankfully all came back clear) and had four days of recovery, with another week of moving more slowly than usual. Spouse and I were both sick twice, before and after Thanksgiving. And then my Grammy,  my mother's mother, passed away on Nov. 5th, 12 days before her 96th birthday. She was my last living grandparent, and it's been harder than I expected. I was so, so glad that she was no longer in pain and back with her family (she was the last of five siblings to pass), but I miss her.

More joy - Spouse and I took our first real vacation in about eight years, and went out to Washington State to visit my uncle and aunt, as well as my bestie and her family.  It was a wonderful vacation - peaceful and relaxing - and something we desperately needed after the turmoil and exhaustion of the past few years. Yule and the end of the year were also very peaceful, and again I felt thankful. Peace and rest are so needed right now - there is never enough, but it makes the moments where peace and rest can be had all the more precious. Here's hoping that 2023 brings more joy and less stress, more peace and less worry.

I am hoping to be here more in 2023. I miss being here. I miss you all. And I haven’t meant to be away for so long, but I hope to be here more and be more present in fandom more broadly. I hope this finds you making a peaceful transition to 2023.

[enekorre]

dude I've been lurking on tumblr for like a year and i still feel like there are things to learn. just like a week ago nothing was happening, first it felt like this when the queen died and then you guys celebrate the 2 year anniversary of some guys confessing to each other. Is it always like this, im getting whiplash...

I used to be like this constantly in 2012 if I remember correctly. Or more accurately, we had more days like this that became special occasions. Times when you'd hit post limit halfway into the day. Things that would cause it would be new seasons, new episodes, things like mishapocalypse... Sometimes politics, but we were mostly in our early teens back then, and pre-2016 wasn't as life-or-death as they have become now. We'd call Mitt Romney a leviathan and the worst that could happen, and pretend to sprinkle borax on him. We didn't know what would come. It was a simpler time, when ship wars were ship wars and not paedophilia accusations lol.

It was an insane time, and honestly so much fun. For us that were in fandom, at least. The "hipster side" (aka everyone not in fandom, mainly porn blogs and aesthetic blogs) had to deal with our crap. I think they mainly ignored us, but for the fandom side it was another fun "war".

Anyway I'm rambling. Most of us have been here for around a decade this year, and most of us joined at around the same age, so we have so much in common despite coming from very different places. A lot of it has turned into in-jokes that seem completely incomprehensible.

You wanna know my fav thing that I saw during 5th nov 2020? It was a post that just said "Cas died on a Thursday". It is so short and has so many layers. I love it so much. Completely understanding all parts of it requires knowledge about fics place in fandom, the supernatural fandom, Castiel in Christian mythology, one specific fic called Twist and Shout, and the CW release schedule for SPNs last season (specifically ep 18, despair).

[therealun-kamen-t]

😷 UnKamenThought #1: Start of Something New, Yet Familiar? 👾

So many thoughts I wanna just spill out onto something/somewhere. From how I've been feeling lately about my idea(s), future plans, what I feel like I messed up on, what I think I did great on (glitch brain go brr so this is vague and doesn't really dictate the order of how the subjects are brought up... BUT I will separate each topic somehow... NGL just been a lurker of Tumblr, never really and active participant, but we gon learn as we go)

See, UnKamenThoughts started off on my Twitter where I just have random thought I wanted to share to stir a conversation with mutuals and/or just people in the same/similar space of vtubing. Thought it was a clever idea for my name to be included with a hashtag I felt would be used a lot. And I certainly did use it a lot. But thing is about twitter is that it's limited and cuz of how limited it is, I felt like I was kinda annoying people with multiple tweets in a thread by myself.

<Segway into thoughts on social media> 👀

Kinda glad that twitter was shaken up cuz it forced a lot of us to look for alternatives... Some alternatives are buggy (maybe shut down rn... Miss you Hive), some are confusing to use currently (Mastodon when?), Some are finally getting some dust blown off it... (And then we saw all our old cringe and decided to just make a whole new account. Hello again tumblr and Instagram) and some are established things but I don't think is for everyone to have since it's kind of just paywalled off content without the implications of it being strictly 🔞 explicit content (that might be for another day) Other than that I've already talked about what I want to do with my other socials cuz I've been a big believer in making sure you have other means of getting reach to new eyes and such... Yet I'm a hypocrite and definitely just on twitter and twitch 😅 (but we growing slowly outta it... This and the couple IG posts I made are the first steps) and don't get me wrong I feel like I did a decent amount of growing... BUT being on just 2 places and inconsistent AF with a lot of what I do (more on that later) yeah the growth is a bit stagnant. Besides that bit... The rumblings of it helped kick my @$$ into gear to complete the Discord Server... It still needs some work but I'm proud of it and can't wait to house a lot of fun things there. Though I feel like I accomplished a decent amount... I'm not happy with how I carried out or flaked out on plans... Execution of a lot of things... Unsatisfactory.

<#NoSoloNovemeber/Rivalry Series/Streams>

I had this fun (basic) idea of every stream I do in November would be a collab. Now building off that to make it a little more impactful and interesting I'd Collab with someone new almost every stream. And then to finish it off towards the end I'd do a big Collab with anyone/everyone that came on before and some who weren't available at the time to join me for a final hoorah if No Solo November. At the either final stream or at the end of every stream for No Solo I'd give thanks to everyone who hung out with me and why I'm so thankful for them (cuz Thanksgiving and such). Now it's December 5th (started writing this like end of Nov 30th), and I did the base idea with the other bits in mind yet I did not plan a damn thing (besides one thing) so it kinda flopped on it's face... I failed to plan, so I planned to fail. I didn't manage my time properly to slot people in for specific days and specific games. I was really kinda sad that I didn't even just grab a bunch of people who were free for a big thing at the end... The biggest part I'm upset about was I didn't give thanks to those who deserved it most regardless if we streamed... Main point was to have fun and let my friends and inspirations know how appreciative I am of them existing and wanting to hang around me. *Sigh* it's fine... This is year 0 problems, next year will be a better year. Besides this is all reflection on what I can do better next time... Now onto the one thing I did plan:

RIVALRY SERIES -

🦊Kitsune V Kamen😷: Pokemon Scarlet/Violet

So Rivalry Series is just ya usual VS series between two people of course as they play a game together or adjacent to each other. Now it will always be ___ V Kamen cuz I do plan on having various people as my main rival for whatever game. Kitsune - @heyjanaebers is (currently in my plans) a reoccurring main rival of mine so it only made sense that I start it off with her. That being said we were going to have battles with wagers at certain points of the game... Somewhere in the start (after 1st gym?), Somewhere in the middle ("50%" of the game) and finally at the end (beaten main story and give prep time for the battle). Now again I failed to plan (further) so I planned to fail when it was time... We did not, in fact battle after the 1st gym... We rescheduled due to Reality things goin on for both of us... And cuz I got really into the game and without battle gyms I kinda leveled up a lot... So she had to catch up (my fault) and I had to kinda dawdle around while she catches up. Which gave me more pokemon to use so I still technically had a leg up... Anyways we battled well past the middle point... So next battle is the last battle (for the time being) so I'm definitely giving prep time for both of us... Granted, currently she is ahead of me. I know where I messed up with this, besides not thinking the idea fully through and mapping it out or just having some backup plans to level out the playing field for "scheduled" battles I think the mistake(s) lie in it being a new game and sometimes... You want to experience the game as much as possible and you don't wanna wait for anyone when you are in the thick of it... SO that being said I think should've had some failsafes for either of us getting ahead... Should've stuck to the script of doing these battles when they were supposed to happen... Or do what I thought of and kinda make poke-updates on my journey... Would be just smart to make fuggin content/videos... Record everything and trim down to the good stuff...

Anyways year 0 problems... Fixing it for the next year and next game(s) for Rivalry series...

<Wrapping this up>

Overall, I know these are great ideas... I know these could be amazing things for fun content. But I have to learn from these things; plan things out fully, prepare properly and make sure to execute things right if I wanna be satisfied with the result... NGL I want #NoSoloNovember to be something I'm known for and a lot of others do as well... that as well as other ideas whether I tried them or have yet to put into action. Besides that... I just need to manage things better overall, I think something's have suffered due to lack of proper management. Starting off December weird due to irregular stream times but I made this post which I want to be a regular thing here... Both things mentioned will be better. I will be better.

💛👾😷🖤

<L8r GL!7ch3s>

143

[savrenim]

This is the second time I've found somebody who got into the mha fandom from Nov 5 within two days of each other, except yours is a reverse reaction XD That OP was someone who understood all the memes EXCEPT "what is a dabi and why is he touya" when Nov 5th first had Dabi trend above the election and all that happened, the rest of us were dying to know the confusion it caused to the non-mha fans and the poor twitter headline writer who had to wonder why a burnt anime boy was trending that day.

hello anon thank you for making my day other five asks below the cut bc this became a Long Post (ur right it's more.... I try to be as considerate as possible to other people on my dash so I've gotten into the habit of readmores for long posts?)

(2) So thank you for sharing your story, even in the form of an insane chunk of tags lol. Some fics updated before canon reveal actually contain crumbs of canon too just because the author goes back and edits it in, usually names since they can't change the entire fic of course. This is the case for Hawks's name, we used to call him "Takahiro Sora(ta)" after a fic first kickstarted the name. But shortened it because birb + sky. And hawk + word that sounds like "hero"

(3) In Dabi's case, it was whatever name related to spring or autumn the author could find, I've seen Haruka used once. (Because the Todoroki sibs are named after seasons, Touya and Shouto are too but vaguely and I forgot which is which.) Their tags are HUGE and I've read so many fics these past 4-5 years, I'll have to get back to you later because not only do I have so many deadlines, but also have to look through them all again 😭 Once you have canon sorted out, do u wanna hear fandom stories?

(4) You really had to go and choose the only two mha characters (Dabi and Hawks, Aizawa is fine) who caused an absolute RIOT in fandom. In so many ways, but we'll stick to one type for now. Dabi??? We been knew who he was, but it actually wasn't his backstory reveal trending that day, it was his name, which was also revealed 100 chapters ago! Just not connected to him. We got EVERYTHING wrong about his backstory, the single thing we got right was the method which was a beloved fandom dream.

(5) And even then some of the "method" caught us off guard, I won't spoil you but boy am I tempted to ramble cause these are all my favs too lol. Hawks? We got everything RIGHT. But in all the worst ways. Every crack theory we had became canon. Everything we thought about his backstory was severely understated or we were outright tricked into thinking it was something else because of how it was drawn. It does NOT help that these two aren't often written accurate and they LIE a lot. Good luck!

(6) Also I would love to know what your osmosis journey has taught you if you're willing to share, it's always funny I want to see if you fell for the same things we did or even the same things other osmosis readers fell for. It shows just how strong fanon becomes XD I could send a really long ask, but decided to send it in parts so you could hide it under a read more, since it looks like you don't like long posts. Also! I can find canon retellings, but how do you feel about canon set fic?

OKAY SO

funny story with (2) actually I have seen something like this happen in the star wars fandom, specifically with Dooku. I read several fics that referred to him as 'Yan Dooku' and there is so much spinoff material that, like, I went 'shrug even though this doesn't appear in the movies it might as well be true' bc it was in multiple fics. and then was brought up in question whether or not that Was His Actual Name and it had gotten into fandom osmosis enough that it made it onto a wiki page it took quite a while for me to convince myself that no.... no this wasn't actually Dooku's name...... canonically he only had one name...... someone had just picked it up and run with it..........

but that's so fun and funny I love it, good job fandom choosing names, that's great

I mean I Do Not Mind Spoilers, I'm already pretty spoiled for this thing and am only going to learn through fandom osmosis and love fandom stories so if you want to give me The True Story Of Trending/ Method, I would love that

also deeply amused that I picked the two most Fandom Rioting characters to love this is GREAT, I would absolutely love any set-in-canon fics mostly, like, 'alternate universe -- no quirks' doesn't interest me very much bc there's less grounding into the things that I find interesting in the setting, but otherwise p much anything goes

alright so the interesting thing with 'things I learned from osmosis' is that you need to understand that I started out this fandom reading a jjk crossover fic where My Fave Character Gojo Who Has Math Powers That Are Ridiculously Overpowered and this fic was 'Gojo Is Reincarnated As Dabi He Keeps His JJK Powers And Just Gets Dabi's Too And Decides Instead Of Being Responsible For The Whole World He'd Rather Just Fuck Around And Have Fun And Kind Of Accidentally Gets Labelled As A Supervillain For This And Doesn't Care And Is Also Adopting Half Of Class 1-A Bc The Teacher Instinct Never Goes Away' but it means that a whole bunch of things that were from the initial osmosis were like.... me knowing the character Gojo and assuming things were him and not BNHA; it took my a few chapters to figure out that Dabi was actually a character and not just the hero/villain name that they decided to give Gojo throwing him into the universe (and also that all the other characters who appeared were actual characters and not OCs)

but anyways some fun weird osmosis things

I at first thought that everywhere having star wars names was 100% just Gojo having fun naming places. the star wars names have come up enough that I'm pretty sure everywhere does have star wars names. this is so weird to me. like I guess if it's set on earth that's a historical reference not copyright infringement but W I L D

I've gotten used to gay canon pairings in a few things and I did legit think Aizawa and Present Mic were married for a little while. I think that's just a popular ship now but a person can dream

given other ridiculous parentage reveals (mostly Dabi) there are a number of fics where All For One is Izuku's father. I am now, like..... 65% convinced this is a fan theory but am leaving a 35% convinced this is canon

I figured out really quickly that Hawks/Dabi is a popular ship, which, like, good for them it's fun with their backstories but then exactly bc of the backstories and the ship, 100% assumed that 'Hawks goes undercover to try to infiltrate the League of Villains' was a contrived reason for them to interact. at this point I'm 95% sure that no that's an actual canon arc not just a fanfic thing

on the opposite end of the spectrum I am fairly sure that Dabi is not the lead singer of a mcr-style emo/punk/rock band but boy did y'all have me going for that one a lot

cannot tell how much the League of Villains are Misunderstood Poor Little Meow Meows who just want to Change Hero Society and Unfortunately Are Somewhat Willing To Murder To Get There and how much they are murdering psychopaths I think it's the latter but it's funny how many fics they seem a lot more willing to be chill in

also having a hard time telling who is currently dead or not as well as whether canon had a Nomu apocalypse arc and canon itself is now in some horrible everyone-barely-surviving setup or if things are more chill there but I hope y'all are having a good time wherever you are

those are most of the ones that I can think of, the rest of the osmosis has mostly been me picking up what the main events of the first few arcs are, general things about how quirks work, I'm fairly certain the reveal that One For All kills you/ages you at an accelerated rate came late enough bc there are a number of fics that are 'Izuku actually has a quirk!' that does not touch that angst at all but yeah out here having a good time mostly

[i-prefer-the-term-antihero]

The Case Study of Vanitas Month 2022 Prompts!

We have our prompts for Vanitas no Carte Month 2022! Thank you to everyone who voted!! 

Vncmonth is a new event that celebrates Vanitas no Carte/The Case Study of Vanitas in all its forms. Every week will celebrate a new character grouping. You can create edits, fanart, drabbles, fanfictions, amvs and mms!

Please remember to tag me @i-prefer-the-term-antihero in your posts to make sure I reblog them!!

Feel free to tag @phmonth2022 as well, however, that blog has been having lots of technical difficulties of late, including not notifying me when I'm tagged. So tagging me personally is more important!

I think it's also important to note, I also have a sideblog that is purely for Pandora Hearts and Vanitas no Carte content @this-idiots-left-eye, where I always reblog the stuff from this blog. You may not see my reblogs from the phmonth2022 blog on your feed, so make sure you follow that blog. If this blog truly no longer works on a technical level, in the future I may end up using it for Pandora Hearts and Vnc events.

Please also tag your posts with #vncmonth22 in case I miss an @ tag!!

Don't forget to either put a link or a "read more" on long fics (or long posts in general), so it's easier to reblog!

I also made a collection on Ao3 for writers! Don't hesitate to add your fics to it!

Lastly, don’t forget to join our discord if you haven’t! It’s a fun place to discuss the series and more easily share your creations!

Here are your prompts!

Noé and Vanitas Week Oct 2nd—8th

Sunday October 2nd: Butterfly

Monday Oct 3rd: Autumn

And/or

Fullmetal Alchemist/FMABrotherhood Crossover

Tuesday Oct 4th: Revenge

Wednesday Oct 5th: Cat

Thursday Oct 6th: Lost

Friday Oct 7th: Memories

Saturday Oct 8th: Roof

The De Sades Week Oct 9th—15th

Sunday October 9th: AU

Monday Oct 10th: Stake

Tuesday Oct 11th: Winter

Wednesday Oct 12th: Fangs

Thursday Oct 13th: Knight

Friday Oct 14th: Ice

Saturday Oct 15th: Twins

The Chasseurs Week Oct 16th—22nd

Sunday October 16th: Envy

Monday Oct 17th: Reunion

Tuesday Oct 18th: Gems

Wednesday Oct 19th: Bones

Thursday Oct 20th: Treason

Friday Oct 21st: Haunting

Saturday Oct 22nd: Faith

Chloé and Jean Jacques Week Oct 23rd—29th

Sunday October 23rd: Instrument

Monday Oct 24th: Alone

Tuesday Oct 25th: Castle

Wednesday Oct 26th: Music

Thursday Oct 27th: Witch

Friday Oct 28th: Flowers

Saturday Oct 29th: Snow

Misha and Luna/Blue Moon Clan Week Oct 30th—Nov 5th

Sunday October 30th: Past and/or Pillow Fight

Monday Oct 31st: 🎃 Halloween 👻

Tuesday Nov 1st: Name

Wednesday Nov 2nd: Blood

Thursday Nov 3rd: Scars

Friday Nov 4th: Tears

Saturday Nov 5th: Family

(Note: Butterfly, Revenge, and Autumn all had the same amount of votes, so if you’d rather use one of the other two for the FMA/B crossover feel free!)

You are free to have fun with this!! As long as you tag it, NSFW is allowed! (Tagging ships is nice too). You can pretty much do whatever you want with the prompts!!

As long as you make sure the characters from the group are your main focus, it’s okay to use other characters in your creations too!!

You can join any time, and use as many or as few prompts as you want!!

And you don't have to post on the day if you can’t make it!! I’ll reblog things late!!

Since we live across the world, you are free to post whenever the day is for you. I myself will be making posts according to my time, which is Central Standard Time in America. 

Feel free to get started on making stuff early!! 

We’re so excited to see what you make!!! Thank you for all your support!! 

i-prefer-the-term-antihero

P.S. To the lovely person who said that you think I'm a large part of what keeps the fandom alive on Tumblr....thank you so much 🥹🥰

[phmonth]

The Case Study of Vanitas Month 2022 Prompts!

We have our prompts for Vanitas no Carte Month 2022! Thank you to everyone who voted!! 

Vncmonth is a new event that celebrates Vanitas no Carte/The Case Study of Vanitas in all its forms. Every week will celebrate a new character grouping. You can create edits, fanart, drabbles, fanfictions, amvs and mms!

Please remember to tag me @i-prefer-the-term-antihero in your posts to make sure I reblog them!!

Feel free to tag @phmonth2022 as well, however, this blog has been having lots of technical difficulties of late, including not notifying me when I'm tagged. So tagging me personally is more important!

I think it's also important to note, I also have a sideblog that is purely for Pandora Hearts and Vanitas no Carte content @this-idiots-left-eye, where I always reblog the stuff from this blog. You may not see my reblogs from this blog on your feed, so make sure you follow that blog. If this blog truly no longer works on a technical level, in the future I may end up using it for Pandora Hearts and Vnc events.

Please also tag your posts with #vncmonth22 in case I miss a @ tag!!

Don't forget to either put a link or a "read more" on long fics (or long posts in general), so it's easier to reblog!

I also made a collection on Ao3 for writers! Don't hesitate to add your fics to it!

Lastly, don’t forget to join our discord if you haven’t! It’s a fun place to discuss the series and more easily share your creations!

Here are your prompts!

Noé and Vanitas Week Oct 2nd—8th

Sunday October 2nd: Butterfly

Monday Oct 3rd: Autumn

And/or

Fullmetal Alchemist/FMABrotherhood Crossover

Tuesday Oct 4th: Revenge

Wednesday Oct 5th: Cat

Thursday Oct 6th: Lost

Friday Oct 7th: Memories

Saturday Oct 8th: Roof

The De Sades Week Oct 9th—15th

Sunday October 9th: AU

Monday Oct 10th: Stake

Tuesday Oct 11th: Winter

Wednesday Oct 12th: Fangs

Thursday Oct 13th: Knight

Friday Oct 14th: Ice

Saturday Oct 15th: Twins

The Chasseurs Week Oct 16th—22nd

Sunday October 16th: Envy

Monday Oct 17th: Reunion

Tuesday Oct 18th: Gems

Wednesday Oct 19th: Bones

Thursday Oct 20th: Treason

Friday Oct 21st: Haunting

Saturday Oct 22nd: Faith

Chloé and Jean Jacques Week Oct 23rd—29th

Sunday October 23rd: Instrument

Monday Oct 24th: Alone

Tuesday Oct 25th: Castle

Wednesday Oct 26th: Music

Thursday Oct 27th: Witch

Friday Oct 28th: Flowers

Saturday Oct 29th: Snow

Misha and Luna/Blue Moon Clan Week Oct 30th—Nov 5th

Sunday October 30th: Past and/or Pillow Fight

Monday Oct 31st: 🎃 Halloween 👻

Tuesday Nov 1st: Name

Wednesday Nov 2nd: Blood

Thursday Nov 3rd: Scars

Friday Nov 4th: Tears

Saturday Nov 5th: Family

(Note: Butterfly, Revenge, and Autumn all had the same amount of votes, so if you’d rather use one of the other two for the FMA/B crossover feel free!)

You are free to have fun with this!! As long as you tag it, NSFW is allowed! (Tagging ships is nice too). You can pretty much do whatever you want with the prompts!!

As long as you make sure the characters from the group are your main focus, it’s okay to use other characters in your creations too!!

You can join any time, and use as many or as few prompts as you want!!

And you don't have to post on the day if you can’t make it!! I’ll reblog things late!!

Since we live across the world, you are free to post whenever the day is for you. I myself will be making posts according to my time, which is Central Standard Time in America. 

Feel free to get started on making stuff early!! 

We’re so excited to see what you make!!! Thank you for all your support!! 

i-prefer-the-term-antihero

P.S. To the lovely person who said that you think I'm a large part of what keeps the fandom alive on Tumblr....thank you so much 🥹🥰

[spneveryseason]

Results of the Supernatural Origins Survey: Part 1 of 2

Hey all! As you may remember, a while back I posted a survey to try to see if there were any interesting trends in when we started watching the show, why we liked it, and why we kept going. Thank you so much to everyone who responded! I read and appreciated all the comments that you guys left as well. I’ve now compiled all your responses into charts, and since tumblr only allows ten images per post I will have to make this 2 different parts. Hope you enjoy!

Which season was the first season you watched?

Pretty runaway result here: most people started watching at season 1! This is most likely because people wanted to go sequentially and makes a lot of sense to me! This also reveals that the large majority of people decided to start at the beginning rather than the middle somewhere. Another interesting thing to note is the very distant second: season 4 with 4%.

Some of your comments on this topic include:

I technically saw the confession scene first but then went back and started from the beginning after the finale

The first episode I ever saw was 4*17, randomly on tv, in early 2011. They were showing two episodes a day on whatever network that was. I got hooked and went to watch it all from the beginning. Then, once I caught up, I was binging each season as it was released on netflix or dvd. So, I was behind on the 5th itself.

So, for extra context: I was a General Audience viewer from S3-S7 just catching episodes at random because it was on and I liked horror/comedy. No expectations, barely knew who anyone was besides Sam and Dean tbh. During S9, I properly got into and watched/caught up from the beginning to catch up to a friend (a Casgirl who had been going through it.) She was however a Destiel shipper and as a result I did watch with some shipper goggles on that never came back off. During the pandemic I got back into it on my own (after falling behind from S10-S12) to catch up for the finale and definitely watched mostly for the ships (Destiel, Saileen, etc). However nowadays post-finale shipping/multishipping is where I have a lot of fun, but far from the only reason I still think about and watch the show anymore. If anything it was more a gateway for me to get into it for real and enjoy other characters/dynamics even more than ever.

this show spans across 3 different decades and personally it's incredible to kind of see my feelings towards the show evolve over time the older and more aware I get. I had 3 major periods of watching the show in my life, with not watching in between. when I started (s4-5), resurgence/started using tumblr (s8-9), and post confession. I started watching as a teenager and now I'm almost 30. like for example, when I first started the Gordon eps didn't register anything, but seeing those episodes now and understanding the implicit racism they are impossible to watch. it's not only being aware of myself but seeing the show itself evolve and change, but also NOT evolve or change in certain aspects. anyway sorry for all this thanks for the survey!

i hadn’t watched it in a decade and then 11/5/21 kicked my ass.

i “started watching” in season four but that was just the first episode i watched in it’s entirety. i proceeded to watch everything else out of order

to be very clear with this i watched season 1-8 as a teenager and then stopped watching for like 6 years and THEN when covid hit in march 2020 i watched all 15 seasons of it with friends over netflix party. it was a very start and stop relationship with "watching" supernatural.

Which season was airing when you first started?

This answer is pretty varied, with some interesting results! First place here is season 8, meaning 15% of people started watching between 2012/2013. Next is season 9 (2013/2014), then post season 15 (after nov 2020), then season 7 (2011/2012), then season 15 (2019/2020). As for the why, I’m assuming because the show was at its online height between 2012-2014, which would have encouraged people to start watching. It also got a lot of attention during its final three episodes, which explains the number of people that started after the show ended.

Some of your comments on this topic include:

sorry i picked all of the "other" options ajsljdskdj and thank you for making this survey! very interested to see the data that comes out of it. also can't wait to get to 4x1 and meet cas because i get the sense from tumblr that he's the funniest character in the show

I'd been aware of the show since at least 2006/2007 and knew basic stuff about plot and characters through simply being in online fandom spaces. I was spoiled for a LOT by the time I actually started watching in the summer after s7 - had been meaning to actually watch it for a while and finally got off my butt and did it as part of bonding with a new (at the time) friend who really wanted me to watch it and share my thoughts. We've been together since 2014 now - SPN fandom is a lesbian dating service. I got pissed enough to quit entirely when Kevin was killed but then got pulled back in after Nov 5 and besides watching the last two episodes live and spoiling myself for everything I have yet to actually catch up on all the episodes I missed, though I intend to watch (most, there's some I'm not gonna subject myself to) them.

i had caught up by the time season 8 started but missed an ep and found i didn't care to continue, rewatched after nov 5th and couldnt get through season 7. as a young teen i loved destiel but now i am 22 and don't anymore. i care much more about the generational trauma and sam as a character

I think it’d be interesting to see this quiz have an age breakdown of answers too. Someone who started watching/joined fandom in 2008 when they were 16 would have a vastly different experience to a fourteen year old who started at the peak of tumblr popularity at the turn of the dashcon era. Anyway Boy King or bust #wewasrobbed

I started watching while s8 was airing, caught up and watched seasons 9 & 10 live, then quit. Now I'm re-watching all the way through and I don't think the show knows what it's supposed to be about. I think the first 4 answers to that question above are what it WANTED to be about but I don't think it managed to coherently support any of them, and wound up devolving into a combination of the last 2 choices. Absolutely batshit show and it can be anything we want it to be.

I think I was one of many who was huge into the show and the fandom around 2012/2013 then came to my senses that the sexism/racism/homophobia and general worsening in quality wasn't going to end and stopped. My friends at I hadn't thought of it apart from a shudder of embarrassment in YEARS until 2020 and the destiel/final episode shitshow. I've rewatched the show since then and we talk about it all the time. As an adult I have new found love for the early seasons (season 3 my beloved). Although I can feel my connection and interest to the show waning again now…

Which season is your favorite?

A few seasons dominated here, with first place tying exactly (and I mean exactly, down to the number!) between season 4 and season 5. Second is season 2, followed distantly by season 8, then season 1. Nothing here is much of a surprise either: seasons 4 and 5 are generally beloved for both storytelling and character reasons. Season 2 is popular with people who love the show’s classic era, and season 8 is loved amongst many different niches of fandom. Season 1 is the first season and holds a special place in that regard. I do want to note that fifth place is held by season 12, which did surprise me!

Some of your comments on this topic include:

love love love first 5 seasons even if there should have been more powers sam. amelia should have been a hallucination, dean should have been called out for sucking in the later seasons. love and light <3

I tend to think of s1-5 and s6-onwards as sort of thematically different to varying degrees as later seasons go on. I would say earlier seasons have more of a family is hell vibe whereas later seasons seem to differ on the light that they paint the family in. Dean is worse in later seasons but the writing feels less self aware at times than in Kripke era

the s1-5 aesthetics are off the hook

Some of my family and friends Who seen the show or agree that the show really ended with season five. And the rest was pretty much just kicking a dead horse down the road. Some people won’t even acknowledge that it’s the same TV show after that point because that was the true narrative ending.

Picked season 13 as my favorite because of Sam's beard and I won't apologize for it.

I love the aesthetic so far (seasons 1-4) and I’m sure it’s gonna change after 5 but I really like that “midwestern gothic” vibe. also before the ending aired I saw this really long tumblr post that had theories about the last episode and one that I really liked was that they (Sam and Dean) start all over from the beginning on that bridge in ep 1 I think that would’ve been insane lol

Favorite character?

The vast majority of people chose within team free will here. The winner is Sam (which is congruent with the findings of my previous survey), followed by Cas, and then Dean. Of the supporting characters, Gabriel, Crowley, Jack, and Adam got the most votes. This is the second time I include this question in a survey and a stronger indication that Sam may indeed be fairly popular in fandom. What’s interesting however is that Cas and Dean have switched spots since the last time I asked this question, meaning the survey may have reached different demographics. In any case, Sam still wins out here.

Some of your comments on this topic include:

sam wincheser was purposefully designed by eric kripke to make me fucking insane x

i hate spn i’m only here for adam <3

I think Dean is a self-aware character but the writers drown him in toxic masculinity. He wants the “apple-pie” life and is built for it. Sam was a complex character, but then the writers took that away from him. He is not built for the “apple-pie” life. Sam is a mirror for John. If we have to be canon compliant, Dean and Cas definitely, eventually, reunite in Heaven. I think about this show too much and it gives me too many emotions during my day-to-day life.

I think too much focus was on the Winchesters by the end. after 15 seasons they were pretty average and the ensemble cast around them were either wasted or the writers didn't know what to do with them (Cas, Crowley, Jack etc). A couple of episodes focused on character building without Sam and Dean present would have been amazing. Cas and Garth? Jack and Claire? But no, they had to be anchored to the Winchesters and the Winchesters only, and it stifled the shows natural growth.

The show is about Sam! It's his Hero's Journey, it covers the most important part of his life and the most important relationship in his life (his brotherhood with Dean). The show begins continues and ends with Sam.

sam's psychic powers was the most compelling (sub)plot of the entire show

shoutout to dean winchester for cracking so many transmasc eggs and for being the object of so many queer peoples projection. thank you king and im sorry but you have eldest daughter syndrome (canonical), adhd (projected), autism (projected), anger issues (canonical), and tboy swag (projected). also hes bi

Sam isn’t cishet

I absolutely love my old man Dean <3 he’s fucking terrible and has. ALL. the issues but that’s ok because those issues make him break down and cry and he’s pretty when he cries so it’s ok

I’m watching the bloody mary episode as I take this survey and I just want to say the way the quality of this show drops so much is so disappointing. This show had so much potential and it makes me really sad to see these characters who will never get a full good story. Anyway just want to say I love castiel so much ❤️

Man do I love the gay angel ❤️❤️❤️

cas is my favorite character

I hate so much that Cas becoming human is so popular and looks like (?) the trajectory the show might’ve been taking. like he’s perfect the way he is :( sorry I’m emo over him today it’s just I started watching when I was like 12 and it’s really nice that I kinda like Grew into being gay with Cas. that sounds really embarrassing but 😭. One of the biggest things I dislike about the shows writing is the de powering of Cas (to be clear NOT that he became more gentle as the show went on I mean like. His actual powers)

jess was ruby all along and i'll die on this hill

I think I would like Castiel if he wasn’t played by Misha Collins.

I just wish Sam was able to finish his law degree, even if he also did hunting on the side

Sam

I just wish it was done better is all, it's so embarrassing to be a lesbian this ride or die for a fictional man played by Jared Padelecki

SAM’S CHARACTER WAS WASTED

I’d be nice if they gave some characters like Charlie and Kevin more screen time before killing them off. Also off topic, but sometimes I think about how much of Kevin’s life wasted away while he was playing the cello and doing schoolwork and that makes his death even more tragic.

Why did you start watching the show?

This was a write in question, so I incorporated your answers into the various categories and added a couple too. In first place here was “tumblr/online spaces told me it was good”, which incorporates recommendations online for the show or characters, as well as wanting to participate in the fandom in general. This demonstrates that a plurality of people started the show because of the influence of online spaces and various cultural osmosis online. A close second was “a friend recommended it to me”, which includes real life recommendations from friends and family removed from online influence. This means that a majority of people had the show recommended to them either online or from family or friends.

Third was “I saw it an random and gave it a try”, which is running across the show on tv or streaming with not much of an idea of what it was and deciding to just try it out. Fourth was “I heard about it on the news” which includes seeking it out deliberately after hearing it being promoted or seeing that a particular actor was in it. Fifth was “tumblr/online spaces told me it had great representation” which incorporated watching it deliberately because of elements of minority representation (in this case, gender and sexuality). Sixth was “tumblr/online spaces told me it was bad”, starting out of curiosity or wanting a so bad it’s good experience. And finally there was “nov 5 fallout” or explicitly stating that people began because of the reaction to 15x18 despair.

Some of your comments on this topic include:

I came to SPN for angst and I certainly got it.

started watching in order to understand more memes in the height of superwholock but i was still homophobic when i first started watching it and didn't think there was anything worth shipping in the show (in dw i had tenrose and in sherlock i shipped him with molly #cringe) so it was my least favorite but i still felt endeared to it and started rewatching the whole thing again when i heard it was ending at the beginning of 2020 and during that rewatch after several gay awakenings i was like. holy shit these guys are all gay

My brother originally begged me to stop watching the show because he didn't want his friends to think it was a "girly show". Jokes on him lmao

I rewatching it with my boyfriend rn he watched it in like 2009 with his grandma and didnt remember ANYTHING about cas its been fun watching it with someone who had an almost opposite viewing experience

I answered correctly (I think) but i wanted to elaborate because my cousin got me into the show because we were living together and she wanted to get me into it so she watched it with me. Then I stopped watching when she moved away in 2015 after having gotten a few episodes into s5, then I barely thought about the show again until Nov 5th 2020, which got me back into it full-force and made me rewatch/watch all 15 seasons over the course of a year. So, my answers are in light of that in case it helps your data collection. Also, because I wanted to state that I'd basically forgotten I'd even watched the show until Despair and that started me on a hyperfixation of immense proportions and I just think that's neat. I hope you're having a good day, and thank you for doing all these stats! I'm excited to see the results!

To clarify, I started watching because my friends were into destiel but by the time season four came I barely cared about Dean. Stayed for the Sam plotlines, left because it got too sad with no catharsis.

I did get into the show because of what I saw people shipping destiel, and I do ship destiel, but the reason I stayed watching the show was the relationship between the brothers(totally platonic not wincest)

Season ten was the first season that I genuinely did not enjoy a single thing about, probably never gonna pick it up again from there. Started watching because destiel sounded interesting, ended up thinking their chemistry was shit and stayed for the saucy little blood freak.

I went into it thinking it was a horror show. Watched a rerun at random, turned out to be Croatoan. 0% horror 150% codependent brothers. I was hooked from the get-go. Had no idea what was going on plot-wise but their dynamic and emotions and care for each other had me interested and kept me watching for the next 5 years until it ended. And even at the end, their bond is my favorite thing about it.

Why did you keep watching the show?

Another write in, so I’ll explain the reasoning behind the categories. The winner here was “I enjoyed it”, which incorporates any and all positive feelings about the show including liking the stories or the characters. This means that the majority of people continued watching because they liked some aspect of the actual show itself. Next was “having fun about it online”, which includes engaging in fandom and other online communities.

Third was “having fun watching it with my friends” which incorporates continuing because it was something to do/a bonding experience with loved ones. Fourth was “I thought it was going somewhere amazing”, which includes persevering for a specific endgame in mind or just to see how it ended. Fifth was “it was on so i just kept watching it” indicating watching without any large amount of emotional attachment and just as something to do to pass the time.

Some of your comments on this topic include:

when i first started watching i was like. 12 and very repressed (not to traumadump on the supernatural community survey 😅) and like actively closed my eyes so as the show went on i like... figured out I was gay while some writers started more deliberately coding cas. i’m thinking about s12 market research rn apologies. so he just really means a lot to me!! and i remember that when s12 was airing i would very viscerally defend the show like they were paying me. I mean i was adamant that it was a good show and not bad, whcih is something I don’t do at all now. oh yeah also i ragequit the show entirely in the middle of Lebanon. I was INSANELY upset that 1. cas wasnt in the episode (lol) and 2. john was back and they made no attempt to age JDM down (i was like. damn the quality of this shit sucks). I remember I was like viscerally upset after the empty deal episode cuz i was like the ONLY reason they would do this is as a destiel chekhov’s gun, but then I was like but they have no intention of doing earnest destiel. thinking they do is giving them too much credit i’m delusional. and it made me so upset during Lebanon that i stopped watching before Cas showed up 😭 and then i didn’t come back until Nov 5

the show is so terrible and yet i’m stuck with it please get me out of here

I’ll never forgive the show for the way they handled The Gadreel Incident or Demon Dean. Also, deeply embarrassing factoid but watching Supernatural as a teen genuinely helped me deconstruct my evangelical faith and get out of that hell hole and now I’m super gay. I love Supernatural

having grown up in a very unhealthy environment similar to the winchester brothers, the way that the brothers are both horrible for each other yet still the best (only?) available option for happiness is really compelling. plots started falling apart after dean went to hell, but i still enjoyed the show until season 12. i watched spn with my older sister who raised me and the moments of brotherly love broken up by these intense fights, sam pushing dean for independence (and dean acquiescing, at least in the early seasons), the way they take care of each other because literally no other human has been through the same things they have... it's all really dear to my heart.

I loved it until I didnt and it was gradual falling out so I didn’t notice til to late

i genuinely... enjoy the show. supernatural things are my special interest and this show does better than those shitty ghost shows on the travel channel.

I saw myself in some of the characters and the unusual relationship between the brothers got me invested. it wasn't bland and then it became bland.

i kept watching for multiple reasons really; fun horror, family dynamics and impactful storytelling. to be honest it's kinda hard to answer these types of questions though since it's such a long series and one answer applies to one season but not another, you know? so some answers here might not be applicable to all 15 seasons

I used to like this show but after like s8 I just could not do it anymore. Where do you go when the literal apocalypse was in s4? How do you escalate believably? You don't. I literally didn't care about any of the stakes after that and it got stupid and boring.

Honestly I kept on watching after season 12 because of Misha. His acting choices and interpretations were always amazing, from casifer to the empty. Jensen jacting joices kept me here too

Did you go into the show with any particular expectations?

Pretty straightforward question with a pretty evenly split answer! The majority of people did not go in with particular expectations, but just barely. This indicates that there is a pretty even split between people who went in expecting something based on what they had been told of the show and those that went in without them.

Some of your comments about this topic include:

I was going to say yes to the "did you go into it with expectations" because for some reason I expected it to be set in the UK after hearing about it from my aunt but that wasn't an option

Didn't know where else to put this: Few expectations for what the show would be like, had no idea early seasons had such a heavy Sam focus & was deeply disappointed when it went away (& never came back).

What were your expectations?

The nature of the expectations are laid out here. The plurality of people expected “lots of fun horror stuff”, indicating that the most visible element of the show is the genre. This may also mean that it is the element of the show that is most appealing to viewers, as they went in expecting a horror genre show. Second is “good in a bad way”, which means that they had experienced negative feedback from the show and wanted to experience something that is probably not the best quality.

Third is ship related, indicating that about a fifth of respondents came into the show expecting great content for shipping purposes/fandom involvement. Fourth is the family aspect of the show, indicating that this element didn’t seem to be the primary expectation for most. Finally, there’s the quality of storytelling. This seems to be the element that people expected the least going into it.

Some of your comments on this topic include:

I don’t think there should be anymore official Supernatural shows or films. Also I kept watching because I thought it would be more like The X Files with lots of really strong MOTW episodes and it…was not. But there’s still something really fun about watching it and it really hits sometimes, which kind of makes the misses a little forgiveable? Some of them at least. Also, there are some…factions of the fandom that clearly care more about being right than being respectful and having fun, which makes the fandom even more toxic and hard to stand.

i swear there's a watched-supernatural-for-destiel-to-sam-stan pipeline. i swear it's a thing. also i marked myself down as having expectations for destiel, which isn't necessarily entirely true -- i didn't think it would actually be canon and i sure as hell did not go into supernatural expecting good representation, i just heard about a compelling ship and was like "oh sure, i'll watch the show for that". and i didn't start for AGES because i knew it was a """horror""" show and i was a pussy with a low scare tolerance lmfao

i'm trying to remember exactly what my expectations were when i went in, which was years ago. i know that i was disappointed by the horror aspects - i think spn utterly fails as a horror show except when they accidentally write compelling abuse narratives which they don't intend (primarily with dean as the abuser. i do consider john's abuse to be intentional on the part of the writers, however i also think that john's abuse is only compelling because they barely touch it. if they'd shown any more of it than they did it would have popped like a balloon (see: lebanon). however, they make an incredibly compelling, complex, and multifaceted story about domestic abuse with dean as the abuser by never acknowledging that dean does anything wrong, thus allowing him to commit horrific acts without being narratively punished, and while retaining a level of authorial sympathy that allows his motivations and psyche to be explored). but i didn't really go in expecting horror except insofar as that was how the show sold itself within the text. like spn very much does pretend to be a horror show for at least the first three seasons. i did go in expecting shipping stuff because i saw a lot of destiel, but i actually wasn't very compelled by it. like i enjoyed destiel but i didn't really buy it in the text until season six, and even then mostly on cas' end. like i read dean as gay bc his relationships with women were SO disingenuous, but not necessarily as particularly specifically interested in cas. and even now i don't really read dean as in love with cas until s10/11. i did NOT go in expecting "representation" because i had no idea what that meant at the time.

To clarify - I had no expectations about "representation." I knew the show hated gays and even more hated women and poc. I *did* expect Destiel content though, as in stuff that made me insane, and it did make me insane. Also, I put "depth of characters" because there was no solo "Cas" option. I think the only characters with canon depth are Sam and Cas, so it's not like spn is *overall* good at writing characters.

Castiel also for the q above- my expectations were: Castiel. I mean kind of Destiel, but honestly mostly Castiel. I heard about him and yes I did find him highly intriguing/compelling

Like, the expectation I had going in was Buffy but dudes, and I think it was met, especially with all the guest spots from actors who were on Buffy and Angel

To explain my thoughts about expectations about the show, I didn't actually think the show itself was ship heavy, but the fandom was ship heavy, which I liked. I never expected the show to make any ships canon

Coming in, I expected a lot of Destiel -- but in a queerbaiting context. That was one of my reasons for AVOIDING the show for years. Watching it, I can definitely see where the Destiel fans are reading the ship *potential* from -- and as a fandom vet, I'm good with that -- but I don't see it as particularly strong or as queerbaiting (or as canon until 15x18, which made it canon-unrequited). Also, I started with a guide to skipping around and watching the "important" parts, and mid-way through S2 that way went back and watched everything I had skipped. After that, I watched in order but didn't avoid spoilers and jumped into the fandom quickly. I tend to prefer the characterization of later seasons but the plots (both arcs and MOTW) of earlier seasons.

just that i never expected supernatural to have great representation or lots of queerbaiting or content that inspires shipping! i feel like the option i chose for that question doesn't reflect very well how i approached this lol but the important thing (and why i picked it) is that i WAS deluded about what i was signing up for. i was led on lmao and it was surprising, when i started watching the show and realized it's got a hold on me but not at all for destiel reasons. but i never expected it to be the destiel show. (well i did expect queerbaiting which imo i ALMOST never got.) so yeahh i expected the best part of the show, the only enjoyable part to be the dean and cas relationship, and then found so many other things the majority of people on tumblr never mentioned. and found that i don't care about dean and cas </3 destiel really is such a big ship, they fucking fooled me - in my defense this has never happened to me before and i think it's almost completely unique, the discrepancy between canon and the content + interpretations of slash fandom. this amount of discrepancy is destiel-specific. i had no reason to believe so many people could be wrong lmao

Did it meet your expectations?

In the spectrum of meeting expectations, most people were around the middle here. Most people agreed that the show kind of met their expectations, indicating that they did see at least some of what they were coming in for. 30% of respondents had their expectations met completely or almost completely, while 15% saw that the show did not meet their expectations in the least.

Some of your comments on this topic include:

I wish I'd never gotten into it. Major disappointment and a waste of time.

Sam should have died 💅

Supernatural had such brilliant ideas and plot points they consistently overlooked to drive a simpler narrative that was more able to fill the white man hero complex. It wounds me deeply.

fuck buckleming but i owe them my life sometimes ya know?

castiel outstayed his welcome by about 10 seasons

I stopped watching around season 10 because I was tired of the queerbait. I came back when I heard about 15x18 and I haven’t been the same since.

the worst best show to ever have aired

I'll never forgive the show for how it erased Castiel's personhood and how it never allowed Dean to grow and change for longer than an episode. And I'll never forgive the fandom for how they pushed me out when I stopped worshipping Dean Winchester.

It was seasin 9 when it became so tiresome so repetitive how they recicle all the same plitlines and characters learn all the same previousy learned lessons. There is this post about how spn glances at super interesting even and pardon my language feral thungs and then completely ruins it. At the same time Dearh in s5. Right?

I must emphasize the fact that I started watching it ironically and accidentally became Obsessed because there's literally So Much to think about. I love parsing the contradictions and reverse engineering the narrative, finding every perspective and analyzing the text through that lense. depending on what angle you're looking at it with, supernatural changes and I love and hate that about it. additionally, it's so unintentionally funny. giving Sam the SAME SHIRTS 10 YEARS LATER will never not be funny and iconic.

This show has opened my eyes to many things. Many good, many bad. Especially bad tho. This show has shown me how nasty some people can be (homophobic Destiel + literally destroying everything good about the show afterward, probably out of spite). I don't have a favorite season. I have plenty of favorite episodes tho. I don't remember the earlier seasons enough; its been years since I've seen them. But plot wise those were the best. Also you really need to include Midam in your options; after 15x8 and Jake Abel shipping them they've gotten somewhat popular :/

It was the best before it was about apocalipse. If it was just about Sam and Dean's personal journey in what it means to be an angry toxic man while also seeing yourself as the hero, and trying their best to help people despite how it's destroying them, it would be worlds better. Also Castiel should have been like, their friend who has to keep an eye on them from heaven because they get into a few big things too many. I think that's the ideal.

If you have any questions about any details of these parts specifically let me know.

Part 2

[incarceratedcastiel]

ok. quick little sentimental post bc i’m abt to hit post limit again (under the cut bc i accidentally wrote a lot) (pictured above me trying to process nov 5 a year ago) (rip i have to do this on my sideblog)

i just wanted to say this past year has been really really fun. idk if i’ll still be here this time next year (i said the same thing about today, ha) but even if not this has been the most fun year of my online life. i’ve never made so many friends in fandom like i have here, i’ve never seen so much incredible fandom creations with fics, artwork, amvs you name it, like i have here. getting to love cas and affirm his identity and his love for dean with you all has been so meaningful to me, as someone who has been uncertainly navigating my own sexuality for more than half my life. maybe it’s pathetic that i log on here every day to literally just like posts from my little friends, but i love it so much. and every time i see all my dm conversations it truly makes me tear up to see a visual of how just how many people i’ve connected with on here through this fandom. if we’ve been mutuals for a year i love you, if we just followed each other today by proxy of our sideblogs i love you, if we’re not technically mutuals but i follow you or you follow me, i love you and i’m so happy you’re on this journey with me. whether i’m only here another week or for the next 10 years, i just want you guys to know how much you’ve impacted my life this past year ❤️

so, all to say, happy november 5th everyone, because this day is about cas and dean but to me it's also about us finding each other.

and now, tagging some mutuals who've really impacted me this year (this is not even close to everyone. i'm just drunk and didn't premeditate this post oops):

@bigdestiel - beloved same taste in women mutual, i love clowning in the tags with you sooooo much you're hilarious

@bedpissercastiel - i'm SO thankful you cold messaged me that day back in may, you're hilarious. sorry for leaving you on read just now i'm typing this post

@castielmegafruithell - confession in my head i think of you as my casgirl wife, i love talking to you so so much

@castiel-kline - what did i do to deserve to be mutuals and besties with such a talented content creator. ik you're not misha now bc you're a better poet than him

@deancasday - you've changed your url so much, but i always look forward to seeing what the next one will be

@floral-cas - we haven't talked much but i cry every time i think about how much positivity you've injected into this fandom

@ghostmary - my jackgirl hero - thanks for listening to me ramble about my favorite boy

@homophobicdean - i've been holding your hand for so many months i've lost count, you're such a soothing constant on here

@icefire149 - intimidating blog to dear friend pipeline, thanks for helping me process beat sheet

@lazarusrisingnatural - we've not been mutuals long but i feel SUCH a kinship with you <3

@pissbabydean - we've not talked much but i think so endearingly of you. and yes i really do call you piss in my head

@rotomcity - i LOVE being online with you, i love being on the same wavelength as you. i will prev your tags until i die

@saileen-away - queen of twilightnatural follows ME??? i'm unworthy. all my favorite content was made by you

@undeadcas - i give my little eileen pop a kiss on the forehead every night, thank you for making her

@5november2020 - tswiftnatural mutual, i've had the time of my life fighting dragons with you

and literally so many other mutuals, it blows my mind how many of you there are. if we haven't talked know that i literally think of you as a good friend in my head <3

[yaz-the-spaz]

But I want to know your theory. :(

ok ok i guess i’ll spill…i was kinda hesitant to share just cause i’m still not all that solid in my belief in it myself but basically it seems like maybe ziam has made it a tradition to have some kind of couples trip most years (if not every year) in february ever since 2014…

(btw for future reference this ask is a continuation of this ask re ziam both being publicly in vegas earlier this year)

ugh sorry guys! hit enter by accident and posted this wayyyy before i was anywhere near finished lol…this will be updated within the hour (if it doesn’t take me too long to get my thoughts out)

narrator: she did not finish it within the hour.

…

ok so part of the reason i’ve been hesitant to share this is because a good portion of it is VERY speculative and just based on a lot of guesswork and assumptions, but also there’s the fact that it feels like this is something major that more people in the fandom (or at least someone, other than little ass me lol) would have noticed before now and it kind of freaks me out that maybe no one else has?? (unless ofc i just haven’t happened to see any other posts there are about it idk)… 

also fyi a lot of what i propose throughout this is heavily based on info from this post just to make sure i remember to site my sources before we get into it lol

alright now onto the actual theory…

SO. all this started with me scrolling through old posts from late 2013/early 2014 and being reminded of the fuckery that was zayn’s bday that year (with the douche canoe crew and everyone pretending like liam was barely there as seemingly some sort of weird over-the-top cover-up)…the same party that seemed kinda like liam’s possible “introduction” to the malik family as more than just zayn’s friend/as his possible significant other. which was also only a month after that suspicious engagement-looking ring first showed up on zayn’s ring finger in december 2013 from bts midnight memories mv footage (and which stayed around as a necklace throughout january 2014 and early febuary 2014 right before the first appearance/debut of the mandala tat in mid feb). 

bts midnight memories mv with the ring in view - dec 2013:

(suspicious?) malik family outing/celebration with the ring in view - dec (or possibly late nov?) 2013:

[putting the rest under the cut cause as per usual with me this got insanely long]

liam and aunt zileh at zayn’s bday party - jan 2014:

liam and one of the little cousins at zayn’s bday party - jan 2014:

then sometime in between late jan and early feb 2014 liam went on a trip to barbados with his whole family (and supposedly also sophia lol more on that later*) while zayn was SUPPOSEDLY still home and steadily “posting” pics of himself at home with various members of his family (with the ring on a necklace clearly visible in the pics lol), anddd as some have also pointed out his hair was suspiciously unchanged in these pics despite his claim of getting a haircut BEFORE most of the pics were posted lol

zayn in family pics with the ring on a necklace - late jan/early feb 2014 (sorry i’m not the one who cropped his fam out lol):

but yet we’re supposed to believe zayn - who had just gotten awarded the asian ambassadorship for the VERY FIRST time - mysteriously (and willingly) MISSED the ceremony on feb. 5th with absolutely no explanation. which…we all know how big a deal that was to him from the way he talked about it and how honored he was when he went in 2015…which begs the question if he was really just home not doing much of anything at the time in 2014 why in the world would he just pass/bail on that HUGE HONOR with no explanation??? mayhaps because he was actually already an ocean away with liam and fam in barbados celebrating his engagement (and getting his own “introduction” to the payne family) and literally COULD NOT ATTEND?

anyway so then, we have him getting the mandala tat around feb 18th 2014 - or at least this is the day he debuted it on his old ig, so the date may be a few days off from when he actually got it - but this still would’ve been shortly after they got back from the barbados trip when he debuted this particular tat (aka another solidification of the engagement??) 

THEN we get the very first ig ziam likes from the famous and beloved aunt zileh (!!!) in this same month (still feb for reference, but she continues steadily and heavily liking stuff all the way through april when she seems to cool down again). fast forward to the 2014 brits at the end of february where we have the infamous moment with 1) ziam giddy as fucking ever, 2) zayn whispering into and practically mawling liam’s neck in public, 3) liam talking about how it was great to “fill each other in” on what they were up to during their break while zayn’s just steady standing there smiling like a loon and then 4) liam still later being like ‘you don’t wanna know’ when asked what he got up to (and zayn still grinning like a fool)

ziam being gross at brits 2014:

so to sum up so far: 1) one of them possibly proposed around nov/dec 2013 (or that’s my best guess anyway based on the evidence lol), 2) then zayn shows up with a suspiciously-engagement-looking ring in dec 2013, 3) then all the weirdness with liam’s attendance at zayn’s bday party a month later (possibly also liam’s formal intro to the malik family), 4) then liam takes his barbados trip with his fam (and supposedly sophia lol*) just a couple weeks later while “zayn” stays home and posts family pics (but is very likely secretly on the trip with liam lol which is also possibly zayn’s formal intro the payne family and a belated celebration of their engagement), 5) and then we get the beginning of aunt zileh’s likes, 6) the debut of zayn’s mandala tat, 7) and the 2014 brits wildness…all in the space of like 3 months. and most of it happening in FEBRUARY. what a wild fucking journey right?

*side note/fun fact: liam and his fam were posting stuff regularly throughout the duration of the barbados vacay but there were literally zero pics of sophia posted from this trip until like dec 2014 or sometime around then when like ONE random pic suddenly surfaced/was posted and lots of ppl had already speculated that sophia was never there in the first place so once this one pic came up that idea got upgraded to people theorizing that they maybe had some of the fam go back a second time later in the year just to stage take photos to retroactively prove/authenticate the narrative that sophia was there lol

but anyway so back to the actual matter at hand - most of that shit happened in february right? specifically the barbados trip (aka the possible engagement celebration trip)…and when i was talking about all this to a friend we realized ZIAMI WAS ALSO IN FEBRUARY. AND SO WAS THIS YEAR’S VEGAS SHIT. AND THEN. AND THEN. My friend did some research and there was apparently this little known/barely talked about article (or at least barely talked about that i’m aware of) about liam taking a TRIP TO THE MALDIVES IN FEBRUARY 2016… which coincidentally (or not lol considering these shady ass hoes) is also around the same time he got his 4 tattoo (I believe this was the first article, or at least one of the first articles, that mentioned the tat’s debut) 

BUT WAIT. 

THE INSANE SHIT DOES NOT END THERE FOLKS.

GUESS WHICH MONTH THE CARTIER BRACELET FIRST DEBUTED?

FUCKING FEBRUARY 2016.

specifically on liam’s wrist in preparation for the 2016 brits (photo posted to his brits stylist’s ig on feb 23rd). and he didn’t take it off till like june.

so. quick timeline:

february 2016 - maldives trip and debut of liam’s 4 tattoo (around feb 21st); debut of cartier bracelet via liam (feb 23rd); (there was also that valentine’s day roses pic liam posted feb 14th of this year which was quite interesting considering he and c hadn’t even been officially announced as a “thing” yet…ofc we know it still got retroactively attributed to her anyway but whatever, we all know who it was really for lol 😏)

february 2017 - i don’t have anything on this year, partly cause i stopped paying as close attention due to heavy ramping up of stunts, although if anyone has more concrete info on this period that hints at anything please do hit me up and i will add it in, but anyway just based on a little light research there does appear to be a good period of inactivity from both of them during this time (as in both of them had quite a bit of time in february where they were pretty inactive on sm, not being papped, and essentially mia and would have potentially had time to go on a private trip) - UPDATE: HOLY SHIT I CANNOT BELIEVE I FORGOT ABOUT THIS BUT THIS IS THE YEAR LIAM SHOWED UP AT THE BRITS WITH THE MOTHERFUCKING 25 ON HIS JACKET AND FUCKED SIMON ALL THE WAY UP BY SWERVING ON HIS UGLY BITCH ASS SPEECH IN FRONT OF GOD AND ENTIRE WORLD (and i think also thanked zayn in his speech if i’m not mixing that up with another year??) - all on feb 23rd to be specific.

february 2018 - ZIAMI OBVIOUSLY (which specifically started feb 22nd, or at least that’s the day i’m counting it as ‘started’ cause it’s the day liam joined zayn in miami, can’t recall the exact day zayn arrived but pretty sure it was only a couple days before that)

february 2019 - zayn starts wearing this distinctive fishhook earring in all his ig pics, which on the surface seems like a pretty small thing, but quite possibly commemorates their famous august 2014 fishing trip (directly after which he also started wearing a fish hook pendant on a necklace back in 2014); this was also another period they were pretty quiet/mia as far as i can recall, although again if anybody has more concrete info from this time that could point to something please let me know, but anyway point being they again would have had a good chunk of time to possibly go on a private trip together

february 2020 - VEGAS BABY

ofc i’m sure you all will notice one year was left out - february 2015 they were on tour with no breaks coming anytime soon so they obviously weren’t able to go on a trip that year. BUT. february 14th 2015 (aka valentine’s day lol) is also the day liam was famously papped with some small shopping bags that looked suspiciously but precisely like the type that usually come from a jewelry store, and then later that same night they had a performance (for otra tour) where we have zayn pictured wearing a new gold bracelet (as in he hadn’t been seen wearing it ever before on tour or anywhere else) - btw the op of this linked post actually marks this day as the debut of the cartier bracelet but there’s a lot of counter speculation that it’s not and given that it doesn’t quite look like the cartier bracelet looked in later pics (it’s more round and more gold than the cartier bracelet which imo looks more angular and more kind of a two-tone/silvery-gold than this vday bracelet) i’m inclined to lean more towards it just being a regular but still very sweet vday-gifted bracelet. but anyway back to more important stuff. now considering this was literally just a little over a month before zayn left - and one of my theories for zayn leaving was that it was possible he felt it was the only way to save his relationship with liam…i mean if they were still giving each other vday presents they were clearly still VERY in love at this point. like that’s not the kind of thing you’d expect from a couple that was on the rocks and on the verge of breaking up and i know a lot of ppl (myself included for a brief minute) speculated that zayn leaving the band meant he maybe left liam too/or things weren’t working out b/t them or whatever, but given this context of the vday gifts just a few weeks before him leaving that doesn’t really line up…what does line up though is him being so in love and so sick of the bs that he might be driven to just be done with it all (as far as the stress of the band and mgmt bs is concerned at least). and ofc liam did say that zayn is the most emotionally impulsive/emotionally driven out of all them so when you think about it it really shouldn’t come as that much of a surprise…

anyway, in conclusion: 

it appears quite possible ziam has made it a couples tradition (ever since that first honeymoonish vacay in 2014) to go on some sort of trip/getaway together around the end of every february (or at least do something special together/for each other when they can’t) and in further conclusion I AM NOT OKAY AND WILL NEVER BE OVER THIS REALIZATION OKAY THANKS BYE 😭😭😭😭😭🌈🌈🌈