#there may be a part two to this if i have more thoughts

[satzumosupremacy]

Elite Bodyguard Series: Pt.10

Desperation

Male reader x Jeon Somi

Tags: Smut, literally face fucking, daddy kink

2.8k Words

You have a history with Somi. Back when you were a freshly new bodyguard, she repeatedly sought out your services. Regardless of whether the close relationship you shared with her is just a distant memory for you, she still thinks of you from time to time—perhaps more often than you'd expect. And here you are, reminiscing about the old days and walking in front of Somi as she follows behind.

“Oppa, y’know my song was inspired by you.”

“Fast Forward?”

There’s a reason why Somi isn’t your client anymore—she switched agencies, that’s the only reason. You advanced quickly, gaining many celebrity clients along the way. It’s the law of attraction: when people seek top talent, companies turn to you. And when Somi needed to make a decision on her own career as an idol, she only had two choices: move to a different agency or continue to have you by her side. It was a hard choice for Somi until she came to the obvious conclusion. You didn’t hold any resentment; you understood her decision. This was all business anyways.

However, the glares in your eyes weren't always so friendly. Your presence was already intimidating, with the black suit, sunglasses, earpiece, and sometimes even a holster at your hip. You didn't smile much, but you got the job done. Initially, Somi thought you were a cold person, but that changed once you became her regular bodyguard. The more time she spent with you, the more her perception shifted. Despite your cold and intimidating appearance, you cared for and protected your client. That was the job you had signed up for.

“I took part in the lyrics,” Somi says, causing you to stop short before opening the door and look back at her.

“What do I have to do with your song?”

“I don’t know,” she mumbles. “Just.. just missed you, Oppa. Don’t you miss me too?”

You couldn't give her an answer when she expected a 'yes,' but you remained silent. Was it wrong to forget about her? You had her phone number, but you never called or texted. Not even to wish her something like a 'Happy Birthday' or 'Happy New Year.'

Somi glances around to make sure no one is watching. Once she's certain both of you are alone, she takes your hand. “I know we are parting ways again after this. But can we catch up? I don’t want you to leave.”

“I think your manager is waiting, Somi. We can catch up next time. Promise?”

“But remember the promise you made with me last time?”

You're clueless. Her question was too vague. It's been years. "What promise?"

“May I come over, Oppa? You’ve seen my place. I never saw yours.”

Somi never slept with you, but it was obvious that she wanted to fuck at the hotel when you went overseas with her, which didn't went her way anyways since this was all business. “Does Chaeyoung talk about me to you, Somi? I’m sure she said something.”

“Oppa, just once. Please?” Somi’s begging for you straightforwardly, you can tell from her eyes that she’s been lonely for far too long. “Aren’t we close? How many years have we not seen each other? It’s been too long, Oppa.”

There’s also not a single lie that you can tell Somi was interested in you, not just sexually, but also romantically. When times change, it’s questionable when you and Somi parted ways.

“Ennik,” you say softly. “Somi.”

“Yes?” she smiles and lets go of your hand.

“Come home with me.”

She chuckles, “finally, you’re not playing hard for once.”

———

“Daddy?” Somi says cautiously out of the blue as you pull into the driveway.

“Is that like one of your kinks?” you chuckle.

“You don’t like it?”

“I’m not judging. I don’t mind it, Somi.” You turn the car off and close the garage door. “Let’s go inside.”

She's unusually quiet, waiting impatiently as you both exit the car and walk inside. There's no doubt that Somi won't let you off the hook the moment you step in. She's hungry. She's lonely. As you shut the door calmly, before you can even turn around, she gets on her knees with her hands in her lap, looking up at you desperately.

"Give it to me, Daddy," she softly pleads once you see her kneeling, slowly placing her hands on your pants and pulls down slowly.

“Somi,” you take a breath, "how much did you missed me?"

"So much." Somi leans closer, staring right at you from below and getting a whiff of your crotch.

"Then show me how much you missed me. Be a good girl."

Somi doesn't respond, but you can see it in her eyes that she wants to be proven worthy. And slowly, Somi bites onto the waistband of your boxers, then pulls it down with a wicked smirk, and you felt her nose dragging against your skin.

She’s not someone who you just met. You know that she's a horny one at heart. Somi didn't want to waste any time. Her breaths came shallow and quick, as if each breath were full of desperation. She gulps and stares at your cock the moment it flings out of your boxers. But before you give her a taste, what's the fun without a small tease? You already have her in a chokehold, and she wouldn’t want to escape it.

"Take off your shirt," you demand, caressing her cheeks. Somi didn't even hesitate and takes off her shirt, revealing a black bra as you stare at her cleavage. Her tit's are round and perfect, more than enough to where you would want your face in between.

“Good girl.” you say, smirking.

She leans closer again and only stares at you after a quick kiss on the tip of your cock. “I’ve been fantasizing about you. I thought about you late last night."

“I’ll make it come true, Somi.” You say, brushing her hair and getting a clear view of her beauty. Once her mouth opened, she wanted only one thing: to taste you. But knowing how desperate Somi is, you're not letting her. Not this easily. You pull her hair back and she gasp, staring up to meet your gaze.

Somi gulps, which was loud in this quiet house. “Daddy,” she whispers. You saw your own reflection in her eyes as she looks at you.

“Open your mouth,” you say, wanting to be in control. Quietly, she opens her mouth without hesitation and you slap your cock right on her cheeks, not once, but twice as she flinches and smiles, then Somi wickedly chuckles.

“I’m such a slut for you.”

“It should be that way,” you say, a deeper tone that made her heart to start fluttering. Your cock was right in front of Somi. She’s impatiently waiting like a good girl. “Keep your mouth open and your tongue out.”

Again, she listens to everything you demanded. Her eyes gleamed, begging you so desperately to the point she’ll do anything just for a small taste. And as you’re curious to how desperate she was, her salvia starts to drip off the tip of her tongue.

You slap your cock right on her tongue, then held her nape with no intentions on letting Somi have it her way. You’re planning to ruin her face. She deserves it. There’s no excuse if Somi’s been waiting for this day. And with a small thrust into her mouth, she chokes once you reached the back of her throat. You push harder, slowly every few seconds without pulling out your cock.

Somi's throat expands, and you could feel her trying to choke, when it’s only a weak one with your cock deep in her throat. She leans back, almost falling behind, and you intentionally did it to pin her against the wall. She closes her eyes shut, face trembling to how deep your cock was in. Well, you weren’t trying to make her pass out, but you did start to worry and gave Somi some room to breathe.

She takes a deep breath with your cock still in her mouth. Without a response, Somi grabs onto your hips, bobbing and tilting her head slowly. You couldn’t help but smirk at how much of a slut you made her. There was no sense of pride from Somi. She's going crazy for your cock.

“Good girl,” you groan, complimenting Somi. “Go ahead, have it. Take it.”

“Mhm,” she murmurs. Then there’s a long hum, the type of hum of tasting something delightful. You felt her perfectly manicured nails digging into your skin as she grips harder and harder, cock disappearing in and out from her mouth. Saliva drips down from her chin and right onto her cleavage. You give a hard thrust and her head’s now against the wall, perfect as you smirk to what wicked intentions you have for her face—a hard face fucking.

Somi closes her eyes, letting a tear out by how hard you were thrusting into her mouth. It’s the tears of happiness that everyone gets after getting what they’ve been longing for. You decide to suddenly stop, still with your cock deep down in her throat. And with your thumb on her face, you wiped her tears, smudging her mascara in the process. She looked more of a slut at this point, and you aren’t complain of seeing Somi like this when her hair is sticking to the wall.

“Good girl,” you say, more softly with a deeper tone. “You look so fucking beautiful like this.” Praising her is a cheat code, she loves being complicated and praised at, especially if it’s from you. You’re well aware of how much you meant to her. It’s no secret.

And it’s clear that you’re using her mouth like a toy, she’s choking and gagging. You could care less while you chase this peace of mind from a singer’s mouth. Somi’s not stopping you, neither would you want to.

“Fuck,” you groan softly, taking a quick breath, and seeing how much of a mess her face was and pulls out. Saliva drips down to her tits after she spits more out to make a mess. You love it how she’s just a slut taking your cock like there’s no tomorrow. Her lips are coated in saliva as she worships your cock with her lips pressing right on it.

“Am I being a good girl, Daddy?” she mumbles, lips on the tip of your cock.

“You are. Maybe you should stop talking and show me that you’re even better than a good girl.” Somi’s face was all fucked, a whole hot mess. She’s even more beautiful like this.

“I want it all over my face, Daddy.”

“Should maybe get ready then.”

You grab onto her face, squeezing her cheeks with your fingers and palm right on her chin to make Somi look up at you. You were once her love interest. You were her protector. And now, she’s on her very knees, in a mess taking your aggression. Somi couldn’t say anything, she’s more mesmerized by your glare. You push your cock back into her mouth to make Somi gag and continue to choke all over your cock.

“Fuck, your mouth feels so good,” you groan. Your cock was shoved deep down to the point it bulges out her throat. Her eyes are closed, tears slowly coming down her face. You felt saliva dripping all the way down to your balls. Her small mouth couldn’t take it, but she's not stopping you from using her like a toy.

Your cock begins to throb, violently more as you keep shoving your cock into her mouth. There’s a whole mess on her tits as it’s drying out layer by layer. Somi’s taking it like a slut that she is. It doesn’t matter how rough you were, Somi loves the way your cock throbs. After a deep gasp, and a moan, you pull out. Webs of saliva flows out her mouth and on your cock down to her chest.

She grabs onto your cock to start stroking it. Somi knew what to do. She wants to make you cum all over her face. Her hands squeezes your cock, stroking it faster and faster while looking up at you.

“Make me cum, Somi,” you uttered quickly. “I’ll cum on your pretty face.”

“Give it to me, Daddy,” she murmurs. Her mouths wide open, tongues out, eyes all closed.

You cum by her small hands squeezing and stroking your cock, releasing all the built up sexual tension for years, but all Somi can feel was how much cum there was on her face. With a bright smile, and a couple flinches from cum shooting onto her face, she finally got her fantasy to come true. It’s warm. It’s thick. Just what she’s been craving for.

Somi’s face is the definition of getting face fucked. Her hairs a mess, cum all over her lips, cheeks, and even up to her hair as she couldn’t open her eyes but smile. Then strands of cum stretch and drip down her chin to her tits.

“What a mess,” she utters after swallowing your cum, and the biggest smile you saw from her today. Somi scoops all the cum on her face and licks every single finger.

“You’re missing more, Somi,” you say, wanting her to lick your cock clean. She crawls on her knees to suck you off without a word. “There’s some on your hair too.”

“It’s fine,” she says after pulling off your cock with a loud pop. “You taste good.”

“Was I too aggressive?”

“Kind of. Tolerable thought. But why should I complain?” She then leans in again to give your cock a quick kiss. Her chest is pumping after being used as a toy.

“Water?” you say, wanting to give her some care.

“No,” she whispers shyly.

You grab your pants and gently hand Somi her shirt. She’s still on her knees with the shirt rolled up into a ball as she covers part of her chest. “It’s not a problem if you want get in my panties if you’re thinking about it right now.”

Well, you did give her a hard face fucking. It’s only right that you give Somi a time to rest. As you put on your pants, she’s just staring down at the floor, lost in thought.

“What are you thinking, Somi?”

“Are you gonna kick me out?” she says, looking up at you. There’s a pure moment of silence, you couldn’t believe what she just said. After face fucking her? Why kick her out?

“Do you want me to, Somi?” you smirk, teasing her when you aren’t planning on kicking her out.

“You want my pussy? I’ll give it to you right now for as long as you want. Please let me stay for a while, Oppa. Please, Daddy?”

You’re dumbfounded to why Somi thinks that you’ll kick her out. “Calm down, let’s go sit on the couch. I’m not telling you to leave.”

“Oh,” she embarrassingly says and puts on her shirt. After Somi stands up, she follows you to the couch and sits right beside you. Somi couldn't belive that she got naked and took your cock like a slut. Neither did she want to fully admit of being one.

“How was it since you changed agencies, Somi?”

“I really missed you. I couldn’t stop thinking that I might of made the wrong choice to leave you behind. And now you’re with Twice.”

“I’m just a bodyguard,” you chuckle.

“So what? You’re so comfortable to be around with. Isn’t it obvious?”

You shrug, “don’t know.”

“Oppa,” she takes a deep breath. “Was it also obvious that I was interested in you?”

“It was. Why are you bringing this up, Somi?”

“If I can’t buy your love, I’ll sell you my body. That’s the most I can do for you to want me in a way.”

You sigh, “there’s gotta be a better way to word that, Somi. C’mon.”

She then sits closer to you and puts her head on your shoulders, “we never had a proper farewell to each other. I want to thank you for everything.”

“It’s..not like I’ll never take you in as a client again, Somi. If both our schedules are right, I don’t mind taking you.”

“Really, Oppa?”

“When’s your next concert? I’ll come with Chaeyoung.”

“Why come with her when you can be alongside me like we used to? Be backstage and we can eat at a restaurant after with my manager. I want to treat you for everything you’ve done with me.”

“Just text me, Somi. I’ll be there if your agency reaches out to me.”

“Mhm, I can’t thank you enough.”

“Do you plan on spending the night here?”

“I’m busy tomorrow morning, Oppa,” she sighs.

“I’ll take you home later, Somi.”

A/N: Lost motivation to write more, but hope this is enough. Half ass edit too.

[vxnuslogy]

— retail therapy. ft sunday

— warnings: slight angst if you squint hard enough

— author's note: self-indulgent stellaron hunter sunday after playing the new tb quest. ~2.4k words.

“is this…” sunday gestures with his hands, “also part of our script?”

you let out a laugh. balancing firefly and kafka’s shopping bags in your hands, you only shook your head at the angel-like man with an amused smile on your lips. 

“no, it is not.” kafka was browsing the dress sections with keen interest, blade was peering over silver wolf’s shoulder watching her as she played yet another video game, and firefly was looking over the rack of new hats. “but it’s a good change of pace. you all deserve to relax after such a hard mission.”

“i don’t think this really fits my criteria of relaxation, [name].” you only laugh at sunday’s sigh. offering him a small pat on the back and dragging him by his sleeve to where kafka was beckoning you over. “you’ll get used to it eventually. next time, we’ll do something that fits your criteria of relaxation.”

the silver haired man only shook his head. but deep down you knew he was enjoying himself – the wings behind his ears often betrayed him by openly showing what he actually felt. every now and then, they would flutter and puff up whenever silver wolf drags him to another section with new games or when he tries to deny kafka’s attempt at getting him a new shirt or coat (after his wings fluttered a bit too hard at this one coat kafka bought it immediately).

“what do you think?” you ask as you put down the bags that've been weighing down on your arms. “about us, i mean, are you adjusting well?”

you notice sunday’s hesitation, you always have when it comes to him – he often wonders how wise and knowledgeable you are to know how he felt. a hum left your lips as you sat down on one of the offered chairs at the shoe section while blade reached to the top shelf to get what firefly was pointing at. 

“i…” he starts, voice just above whisper. “don’t know.”

another hum escapes your lips. scooting over to make space for him and patting the space, urging him to sit besides you. sunday does, though reluctantly, sit beside you as you watch silver wolf giggle at firefly’s struggle to walk in heels. blade’s hands hover over her figure as she stomps her way over to the shorter girl to pinch her cheeks to which she protested.

“they’re nice people.” you say, gaze never leaving them. “the galaxies may say otherwise, but they're truly the kindest people i have ever met.”

“i… apologize.”

you raise a brow at him. “what’s with the apology?” 

“i have only ever thought of the five of you as bad people.” sunday admits with a heavy heart. eyes finding much entertainment on his gloves that you had gifted. “i… do not know how to act around you all, when i’ve only ever heard bad things about you. it feels wrong to suddenly be thrusted into your already tight knit group.”

you only hum in understanding. hand coming to caress the top of his head when you stood up when blade called you over.

“we understand, mr. sunday.” you gave him a small smile as you picked up the many shopping bags you had. “these sorts of things take time, just take it one step at a time.”

he only nods. and like the gentleman that he is, steals away the heavier bags in your hands with an awkward smile.

—

“do you miss the person you were before you joined?”

you wonder if blade has ever mentioned to sunday how you loved thought evoking questions like the one he had just asked. recently, the two have been paired up a lot for missions - you’re still on the fence on whether it's a good or bad thing, but you’re leaning more towards the former. you only gave a thoughtful hum as you spooned another scoop of ice cream into your mouth.

kafka had grown bored of the dresses and shoes and wanted to get something to eat. now here you were, outside a quaint little ice cream shop as blade orders for everyone - silver wolf and firefly hiding behind the man like two kids. 

sunday was sitting in front of you, laughing silently after catching a glimpse of the two tables across from you being filled with your shopping bags. you laughed as well and when your eyes met his, sunday quickly averted his gaze towards his own cold treat.

“do i ever miss the person i was before i joined…” you echo his question. “sometimes, in the middle of the night whenever i’m feeling a bit too sentimental, i do.” a fond expression was probably present on your face as sunday hummed in acknowledgement. “i miss the comfort of my bed as i scrolled endlessly on my phone. or how a certain little creature in red would bring me tea and biscuits when i let time pass in my little workshop. i miss them every chance i get.”

yes, every chance you get, you reminisce over your past life. missing your father’s quick temper, your brother’s indifference, your mother’s absence; you missed them all, despite all their flaws and the bitterness that swam in your heart. and of course, how could you ever forget your little escapades in different planets with a seasoned adventurer and his vast knowledge of animation and travel or the little waddling of a conductor as they scold you nearly not making it back. you missed them all very dearly.

“what about you, mr. sunday? do you miss penacony?”

“would it be wrong of me… if i said no…?”

admittedly, that was the exact opposite of what you thought his answer would be.

the six of you were now in the car with you and blade driving (firefly suggested you all take two cars so you won’t have to be squeezed together in one). silver wolf was fast asleep at the back seat, using the many shopping bags as her makeshift pillows. you and sunday sat at the front, keeping a close eye on blade’s red car in front of you as you pondered what you would say next.

“i don’t think that’s the whole truth, but it’s not an entire lie either.” was your only response. from the corner of your eye, you see sunday take off his gloves and lay them on his lap. “would you like to talk about it, mr. sunday? i’m quite the exceptional listener you know.”

sunday laughed at your jesting and that made the breath you were unconsciously holding escape you. 

“penacony, as beautiful as it was,” he fiddles with his fingers as his wings came to cover half his face - a habit you picked up on whenever he started to open up. “it was simply too much for me.”

staying silent and when sunday looked at you, you simply nod. urging him to continue.

“the flashy city lights, the ever echoing of upbeat music, to many, penacony is a paradise where nothing could go wrong,” sunday sags in his seat, “but i often wonder if it ever gets too much for them. even though i have lived my entire life in the land of festivities, i could not bring myself to enjoy the thrill and joy it offered.”

“no matter how many times i bury these feelings of guilt, they always resurface whenever…”

“whenever?” you slowly try to coax it out of him. like how a parent would to their child.

“they always resurface whenever… i find myself enjoying your company too much.” you try to hide your shock when you take a right turn. “is it truly alright for me to just leave all of penacony behind? as overwhelming it was, it offered a roof over my head. food on my table. a family.”

soft patters of rain as small droplets of water cascaded down the now slightly fogged up windows of your car. “would you like my personal opinion on this matter, mr. sunday?” the car skids to a stop as the traffic light glows red. sunday only nodded solemnly. “you have every right to not miss penacony.”

his gold eyes were furrowed in distraught. gaze boring into the side of your head as the car started moving again. “yes, penacony offered a roof over your head and food on your table, but everyone has that right. even us, stellaron hunters, the most wanted criminals across star systems, have the right to have a home. did penacony ever feel like home to you, mr. sunday?”

“no. not it has not.” sunday replies after a few moments of silence.

“just because a roof is over your head and food is served on your table doesn’t automatically make it a home.” your eyes hardened, grip on the steering wheel tightening ever so slightly. “a home is supposed to make you feel safe, not obligated to repay their so-called “kindness”. you don’t have to feel guilty for not wanting to come back to the place that had caused you pain.”

“and what of my sister, robin?” he suddenly counters. you knew from little snippets from kafka that robin was a bit of a sensitive topic with him. “am i really allowed to enjoy this new life of mine knowing that she’s still in the family’s clutches?” his voice hardened, but at the same time it quivered and broke. “what right do i have to this newfound happiness when she could be struggling? for aeon’s sake,” he messily pushes his hair away from his face. you try not to focus on the stray tears that fell from his eyes, “i’m her older brother, her protector. she should be the one here, spending time with you and enjoying the life she’s always wanted.”

“miss robin is destined for greatness and a happy life,” stopping at another traffic light, you look over to sunday, “but so are you. i do not know the pain and turmoil your adoptive father has made you go through, but you will never be free if you keep holding on to the past.”

“i don’t think being a stellaron hunter and a wanted criminal is what you call greatness.” sunday jokes with a low chuckle making you roll your eyes.

you trained your sight on the road again. “it’s not easy to break out of whatever gopher wood has taught you,” the way you spat his adoptive father’s name with such venom made sunday wonder if you had personally met him. “but if, theoretically, we had offered you to join us earlier and to sneak you out of penacony, miss robin would be the first person to urge you to take that chance. you are her older brother yes, and it's often the oldest’s job to protect the younger,” you pull up your car in the parking lot as blade, kafka, and firefly started taking the shopping bags out of the car. “but she is still your sister that wants what’s best for you, even if it means leaving penacony behind.”

the sight of blade, a man with a harsh exterior and few words, silently carry silver wolf with such care will always stir something inside of sunday. or how kafka would happily chat with firefly over the new clothes they got on today’s shopping list, promising to do a haul tomorrow morning after the older woman cooks everyone breakfast. but if there was something that pulled at his heart the most, it would be you. 

you who kindly respected his space and unwillingness to talk or socialize with the other hunters when he had been first recruited. the same you who had made him the metal wings that was now attached to his lower back - created with so much care and attentiveness sunday felt unworthy of it. you who would always be the first one to look for him whenever you were going out and extending a hand for him to take.

“everyone deserves to be happy,” you say beside him as you drop him off at the door to his room. “and that includes you, mr. sunday.”

sunday had always been treated as someone who was above everything else, that was the first thing he was taught after all. he was destined for greatness, the key to the revival of his dead aeon. so he never truly knew how to act when someone treated him as an equal. someone neither above or below anyone.

“i’m not very good with words,” sunday scoffs, thinking otherwise. “so i often convey my sincerity and comfort through actions.”

sunday feels your hand slither to the back of his neck as you slowly pull him down to your height. forcing his beating heart to still when he looks into your eyes that swam with understanding and fondness when you press both of your foreheads together.

“you can enjoy your time here, with us. you’re allowed to let go of the past and miss your sister.” your thumb rubs soothing circles on his nape, sunday feels the hairs on his arms rise. “and if you still think otherwise, then that’s also fine. breaking free from the shackles of your past isn’t easy, but you shouldn’t give up.” sunday feels the way your words leave a warm ticklish feeling on his lips, he had to fight the urge to lean into your space even more. “we want you to be happy, we want you to be here with us. so we’ll teach you how to let go. until you can do it yourself.”

sunday has seen you do this to others; after you patch up blade after a nasty fight, when you welcome kafka home, when silver wolf comes to you after a nightmare and when firefly bares her heart out to you. he finally understands why the others stuck to you closely, they showed their appreciation for you in forms of physical affections. 

involuntarily, his arms snakes around your waist, pulling you impossibly closer he feels you may decipher the way his heart beats your name. “may we stay like this for a while?” you only hum slowly when he lays his head on your shoulder. letting your comfort wash away all the guilt and frustration, even if it was just for a moment.

you catch a glimpse of kafka leaning at one of the dark walls with a knowing smile on her lips. rolling your eyes at the older woman, you bid sunday a good night with a small smile. knuckles brushing right under his eyes where phantom tears had fallen. in your mind, you can’t help but feel that your little idea of taking him shopping to brighten up his mood was a success.

© vxnuslogy 2024. please do not copy, repost, or translate any of my works.

[maximoff-pan]

(don't want to) fight this feeling | colin bridgerton

summary: this is what happens after a friend asks another friend to kiss them – or simply just the aftermath of two people realizing there might be more between them and being awkward fools on their journey to get there

pairing: colin bridgerton x fem!reader

word count: 3.6k

warning(s): idiots in love, absolute fools, absolute awkwardness, fluff, some kissing, a tad suggestive, rusty and heavily unedited writing (sue me, it's been a while)

a/n: hello you lovely peoples! it's been a while... this is my first time writing for colin so I apologize if the characterization feels a bit off. I'm still quite rusty in the writing department, but I hope you enjoy this regardless! as always, feedback and comments are much appreciated and I love you all!

• ж • ж • ж • ж • ж • ж •

‘Colin, please–’ Your voice is unwavering, and yet he can’t help but relish in the fact that you’re begging – pleading for him. In all the years he’d known you, you’ve never been one to grovel. 

‘Tell me.’ He breathes, eyes searching yours for any sign of regret. ‘Use your words.’

Your lips, swollen from kissing him, part enough for you to say: ‘I want you Colin. All of you.’

And in that moment, everything fades…

•••

Colin wakes abruptly, chest heaving and covered in sweat. It’s been happening more and more recently, these dreams. Dreams of desire, an incessant yearning for the feeling of your lips on his.

He doesn’t know what to call it. Infatuation perhaps – a pure and raw chemical reaction of attraction – however wrong it may be. You’re his dearest friend, and the kiss you’d shared was merely an innocent gesture, a favour for a person he cares about dearly. Your first kiss – hardly his first, yet he’d never understood the true meaning of voracity before it. 

Saying it meant nothing doesn’t feel right. And chalking up this sensation to a merely physical response feels even more wrong. It’s simply not enough to describe the way his heart races when he thinks of you, how his breath catches in his throat and words become obsolete. He dares to wonder if your friendship could blossom into something more, if you even feel the same. Is this what love feels like? 

• ж • ж • ж • ж • ж • ж •

He’s kissing you again, this time like he may never get the chance to again. However frantic, it’s sweet. It’s like him – feels like Colin.

‘You’re so beautiful.’ He says in a whisper.

You chuckle a content laugh, running a hand through his soft and perfectly styled hair. ‘Not near as beautiful as you, Mr. Bridgerton.’

The moment feels so real, feels like it should be. But you know it’s a figment of your mind working against you as your eyes open to the unfortunate sight of your ceiling. 

•••

Your chest rises and falls rhythmically, awoken by the sunlight drifting through your bedroom window, along with thoughts of him. Last week you had been simply a girl – one who had never felt the kiss of a man, one who thought she may never be so lucky. But today, you are a woman who has, no matter the circumstances. 

You’d asked Colin to kiss you, not out of desperation, but out of curiosity and loneliness perhaps. You wanted to know what you were missing out on, what such intimacy could mean for a person. And there is no man you would trust with your reputation more than him. 

The pit in your stomach however, grows with each passing moment. You wonder, have you made a mistake? Are these things you’re feeling for Colin a mere fantasy – a result of a heat of the moment. You can’t help but feel like there has always been something there for you, something just beneath the surface of your friendship.

It’s silly to believe Colin could feel that way about you. But kissing him, feeling the touch of his lips to your own has left you with a want for him – a need for him that you have been taught is unacceptable for a woman to voice. And suddenly, there’s shame. These desires are not natural, not realistic, not feminine. 

But how are you supposed to go on as if it meant nothing to you? How are you supposed to talk to him again, look him in the eye and have everything be as it once was? Colin Bridgerton is not someone who you’ve had to hide your feelings from. It’s always been a lost cause – he has you memorized like a book he’s read thousands of times. Maybe even one that he’d written himself.

And you’re certain he’ll be able to sense the shift in your behaviour, and likely the reason why. You only hope he’ll let you down gently because at the end of every day, your friendship is what matters most to you. 

• ж • ж • ж • ж • ж • ж •

Side by side with Eloise, you smile as she prattles on about the latest novel she’s been reading. Usually her conversation holds your full attention; often she doesn’t give you a choice otherwise. But today, you can’t help but find your mind drifting somewhere else. 

Your gaze meets Colin’s for a brief moment from across the grassy field in Hyde Park. Where you once found comfort in the blue of his eyes, now your stomach turns with unease. He’s surrounded by a gaggle of young ladies, surely desperate to get his attention. Colin would make a suitable husband for any one of them, you think. 

You look away from him just as quickly as you’d caught his stare, the dirt below your feet suddenly becoming intriguingly interesting. Eloise takes note of the interaction, her lips pulling into a thin frown. 

“Is everything alright?” Eloise asks, an eyebrow raised in query before clarifying, “Between you and my brother.” 

Your gaze refuses to meet hers. You’re afraid that she'll be able to see right through you. “Is there something that indicates otherwise?”

You recognize the defensive nature of your response is likely to garner more suspicion, but it’s difficult to think of an appropriate answer when the question regards Colin Bridgerton. Somehow, thoughts of him make everything more complicated.  

“It’s just,” she treads lightly, walking swiftly alongside you, “this is the fourth time in a week you two have been in each other’s presence, and you’ve barely spoken. You typically seek Colin out, and him you. And now I get the sense you are avoiding him.”

You glance back over to him, watching as he continues to entertain the same group of young ladies, however his audience seems to have grown.

“He looks rather busy, does he not?”

You don’t mean for your voice to sound so apathetic, so uncaring as it does. But Eloise recognizes that you care a great deal. You’re jealous. 

“I suppose he is.” She smiles, knowing just how much Colin must hate the predicament he’s found himself in. “How about we rescue him?”

You mean to protest, but Eloise doesn’t give you a chance to respond before she’s dragging you by the arm towards the one person you do not wish to speak to at the moment. It’s been terribly awkward since you’d asked Colin to kiss you, and you can’t help but knowing that it’s your fault.

You were the one who promised it would mean nothing, and you suppose it had meant nothing to him – but you should have known the ramifications would be disastrous for you. Who asks their best friend (whomst they are in love with) to kiss them and then expects their feelings not to grow tenfold? 

“Brother!” Eloise pushes into the group with your arm wrapped around hers. 

Colin’s face lights at the sound of her voice, relief flooding his features. “Eloise,” he responds, “to what do I owe the pleasure?”

The young women around him sigh at his words. Had they never heard a man be polite with his sister before? Surely that couldn’t be anything special. 

You roll your eyes as one of them decides to cling herself onto Colin’s side. The rumblings of jealousy aside (which you really shouldn’t be feeling), this behaviour is utterly pathetic to you. 

Eloise notes your distaste with an amused chuckle. “We’ve come to take you back to Bridgerton House for Kate and Anthony’s luncheon. Mama’s orders.”

“Oh…oh!” Colin recognizes her attempt at a rescue. “My god, it must have slipped my mind. If you will forgive me ladies,” he sends them a charmingly teasing wink, “it has been wonderful getting to know you all.”

Taking his leave with you and his sister, Colin tips his hat politely, departing from the group. Eloise marches slightly ahead of the two of you, eyes set on the carriages you are to ride back to your respective households in. 

The silence feels suffocating and unfamiliar. It’s uncomfortable and exactly what you’d hoped it wouldn’t be.  Eloise turns to you suddenly as you reach your separate transports. “Are you sure you won’t ride back with us? Surely we can take you home.” She says.

You force a smile. “Positive.” You affirm. “My driver is already here. It would be rude of me to have brought him here only to leave without me.” 

“Alright then.” She hugs you as she takes a step into her carriage. She leaves the door open for her brother as his gaze catches yours for a moment. This might be the longest you’ve gone in his presence in total silence. 

You break away from his piercing stare, taking a breath in apprehension. “Goodbye Mr. Bridgerton.” You say, finally. 

“Goodbye Miss (L/n).” He returns with a nod. 

Turning away, you step into your carriage as a driver closes the door for you. That interaction felt wrong, awkward, and difficult. Nothing like the ease of conversation you are used to.

Colin feels much the same as he sits in the Bridgerton carriage, eyes glossed over in thought. 

Eloise wants to smack him but decides against it in better judgment. She simply watches him for a few moments – sees his discomfort and wonders what could have possibly gone wrong between you and her brother. 

“It’s rude to stare, you know.” Colin’s eyes meet hers. He means it as a joke, but his tone does not convey it that way. 

“What is rude, brother,” she tuts, her position on this very firm, “is treating your best friend as if she is a stranger.”

“Eloise.” Colin warns.

“No.” She holds her palm up, objecting to his dissuasion. “What happened between you?”

He scoffs. “Does privacy mean nothing to you?”

He’s being evasive and defensive – much like your previous response to her questioning. Usually Colin only gets like this when feelings are involved. The last time Eloise had seen him behave this way, Marina had been at the center of it. 

He’d become distant and dejected from the ordeal. The overall rejection, knowing she hadn’t really loved him had caused him to turtle in on himself. And the only person who’d been able to pull him out of it, had been you. Now he seems to be going back in. 

Colin had always been sensitive, more in touch with his emotions than any of her other brothers, but that often left him more open to heartbreak. 

“You love her.” Eloise finally decides to say. 

Colin doesn’t react the way she thinks he will. “Of course.” He replies like it’s obvious. “(Y/n) is my dearest and oldest friend.”

“Allow me to rephrase.” She clarifies, “You are in love with her.”

At that, his reaction is much different. Eyebrows raised and blinking nearly too rapidly for Eloise to perceive – this is what she expected. He’s been caught.

He stutters on his words. “You – you cannot be serious! I’m not – I am not in love…”

Colin feels like he’s breaking. Because as perceptive as Eloise is, so are you; and if Eloise can read him this clearly, he fears you can too.

Her voice is gentle when she speaks, not for a second believing this display of refusal to admit his feelings. “Have you told her how you feel?”

Colin gives up, retreating in on himself. His posture slumps in defeat. “No.” He says. “And I cannot for the life of me, get her out of my mind. It’s like every time I close my eyes, I feel—”

Eloise edges closer to him when Colin stops himself with a sharp inhale. “Feel what?”

I feel her lips on mine, he thinks. 

He frowns, gaze falling downward. “Nothing.”

“Colin…”

“Eloise for Christ’s sake,” he barks, “I said it is nothing.”

His voice is cold and unforgiving, like a switch has been flicked and Eloise cannot begin to understand why. Colin is clearly leaving something out — something important. And it’s a sore topic for him. 

“Whatever it is,” she eyes him cautiously. “You need to tell her.”

• ж • ж • ж • ж • ж • ж •

The afternoon carries on uncomfortably, your mind still on overdrive from your unsettling encounter with Colin. The ride home had given you too much time to think. Too much time to worry, and it had only further worsened the pit in your stomach. 

Your mother had questioned why you’d arrived back so early, having previously planned to spend an afternoon at the Bridgertons. Telling her you felt unwell, you made your way to your room, collapsing on the mattress of your bed with a sigh.

Before long, you’re being informed you have a visitor who’s waiting for you in the drawing room. You’re fairly certain who it is. Eloise has always been a caring friend, if not a little motivated to meddle. Who you were not expecting to see, is her brother Benedict. What interest does he have in this?

“You know you needn’t come see me.” You say flippantly as you enter the room where she’s sitting on the couch with a book on her lap, her second oldest sibling sitting beside her. “Benedict.” You nod at him politely. He returns the gesture as an acknowledgement of his presence. 

“I must say,” she disagrees, “I felt a little obligated to check on you.”

“And why is that?” Benedict jumps in with a smirk.

She sends him a look of disapproval. He knows exactly why.

“Colin was not himself today.” Eloise settles on. Equally pointed, she asserts, “Nor were you.”

“I suppose there is no hiding it from you.” You admit, taking a seat across from them. “Our lack of conversation was abnormal.”

She chuckles at that. “It is usually so difficult to get a word in edgewise when you two are together. But today, it was like you could not even look each other in the eye.”

“I do apologize.” You say dejectedly. “I feel that has much to do with me.”

Eloise frowns at your admission. “I cannot say that I have the context needed to understand what is going on between you, but I do know that Colin does not blame you.”

You release a breath you hadn’t known you were holding, air escaping your lungs. “He didn’t tell you?”

“No.” She responds, looking to Benedict to see if he knows anything more. He shakes his head. “And I – we respect your privacy not to push you into telling us something you’re not ready to.”

You smile softly. “That sounds nothing like the Eloise I know.”

“I am trying to be supportive.” She huffs a laugh, tone light and joking. 

“Well, since you did not ask,” you begin, wringing your hands and fingers together, a nervous energy Eloise is not used to from you, “I asked Colin to kiss me.”

Her brow furrows in confusion, no indication of shock on her features. Colin is in love with you, she thinks. How could things have possibly ended this way? She doesn’t stop you, allowing you to take a pause before you continue.

“I was feeling down. Function after function, I leave with no prospects, and my chances of finding a husband feel as if they are less than nothing.” Your eyes lock with hers, knowing she does not share the same sentiment of finding a life partner. “I did not want to die not knowing what it felt like to kiss someone.”

Benedict’s eyes search yours. He feels your heart yearning, feels the curiosity and desperation in your voice. He sympathizes with you, wholly. 

“You must know (Y/n),” He speaks, eyes twinkling with knowledge neither you nor his sister are privy to. “The only reason you have not been called upon is because of Colin.”

Eloise turns to him in disbelief. “Brother…” She trails.  

Simultaneously, you blurt, “excuse me?”

“Explanation Benedict.” Eloise chimes, impatiently.  “Now.”  

Benedict eyes you carefully before he begins his account of the situation. And as he’s speaking, your world fades away. His voice becomes distorted, like static – you find yourself unable to hear what he’s saying. 

What you do manage to pick up is that Colin had labelled you off limits. No gentleman of the ton stood a chance against his protective eye…because as Benedict finishes he says, “No one could be right for you, except him.”

• ж • ж • ж • ж • ж • ж •

Stepping into Bridgerton House, you feel like your blood is boiling. 

“Miss (L/n).” Violet greets you pleasantly. She’s always been kind, warm, and welcoming. 

“Afternoon, Lady Bridgerton.” You force a smile, nodding gently in her direction. “Is Colin home?”

“Yes, I believe so.” Her voice is gentle but knowing. She’s well aware of the feelings you and her son share. “In the study.”

“Thank you.” You’re grateful; she recognizes that.

Pushing up the stairs and through the hallway, past the door to the study, you forget to knock. Inside you find Colin sitting at the desk, pen in hand. But he’s not writing. He’s simply staring into space. 

“You had no right.” You announce yourself. 

His eyes shoot to yours. “(Y/n).” Is all he can manage to say. With one look, he knows exactly what this is about. 

“You knew – you knew how helpless I felt.” There’s pain written in your expression, a betrayal of trust. “I thought the reason I could not find a husband was because I was so unlikeable – that I was not worthy of another’s love.” Tears threaten to fall.

Colin tries to interject, but all that comes out is a strangled whisper, please, none of that is true. 

“I told you how I was feeling! You — you let me think it was my fault.” Tears lace your waterline like one of the fabrics on your dresses. “And God,” pinching the bridge of your nose, you sigh in exasperation, “I asked you to kiss me because I thought no man could ever think of me that way…”

“You have to let me explain.” Colin pleads, voice just as desperate as yours. 

“What is there to explain Mr. Bridgerton?”

“I love you.” He shouts, tears in his own eyes. 

You’re taken aback. Of course you knew he loved you, as a dear friend. He’d told you that countless times, as you had him. But the way his gaze is piercing yours, the way his voice trembles – this doesn’t feel like something just a friend is saying. 

He relents. “I could not watch you with another, especially when I know these men well…I know their intentions, their thoughts that run wild with impurities.” He fiddles with the sleeve of his dress shirt, unease creeping up on him. “And I fear I have been having these thoughts myself.”

“Colin.” You murmur, taking a step toward him. Your anger is slowly dissipating, although still bubbling under the surface. 

“I have not been able to sleep without dreaming of you. I close my eyes and all that appears is the moment I felt your lips on mine.” He pauses, taking a shuddered breath. “And I, I – I try to stop myself because I know you wanted it to mean nothing. But it meant everything to me.”

You feel your heart lurch in your chest. He’d been having these same worries, the same thoughts, dissuading him from believing you could be anything more than friends. That it wasn’t right any other way. But it is; you know it could be.

“I was scared.” You inch your way closer to him, voice softer now. “I did not want to face my feelings. I cannot tell you when they changed, when you became the only man I could ever dream of loving. But they did. And I thought if you knew, you would never look at me the same again.”

“You are not wrong.” He admits, palm reaching to cup the side of your face. “I cannot look at you as I once did, but as the woman I wish to spend the rest of my life with. As the woman who I shall love until my very last breath.”

Your eyes meet his, a sea of blue simply pouring with emotion. His eyes had always been so expressive, a window to his beautifully crafted soul. “Colin, I love you.” You whisper. 

His other hand comes to cup the untouched side of your face, leaning down to kiss you. It’s less sweet than your first – more passionate, more experienced than the last. You can feel the inner turmoil dissipate from your body and his as you embrace each other. 

Colin kisses you like you’re oxygen and he’s struggling to breathe. As if he needs you to keep him alive. He supposes that’s true: a life without you would not be a life worth living. 

Pulling away from him, your smile is unmatched. It’s like nothing Colin has ever seen before, and there’s a hint of something in it that he cannot read.

“What are you thinking?” He taps the side of your head jokingly, right where your temple rests.

You giggle lightly. “Benedict told me that no one could be right for me, except you.”

“Did he now?” Colin chuckles with you, his thumb tracing lazy circles on your hand. “And?”

Taking a moment to soak it all in before you respond, you grin: wide and proud.

“He was right.”

[spinningwebsandtales]

Imagine Meeting Up With Ken After He's Moved Back To Japan

Ken Sato X FemReader

Rating: G

Warnings: Reader has a slight panic attack, touch of angst, fluff

Word Count: 1.9k

(A/N:) I have never watched Ultraman in my life and I never planned on it honestly. But dang I saw the trailer ad for Ultraman Rising and they barely give you a glimpse of Ken but it was enough. I watched it. I loved it. And now I'm obsessed with Ken Sato. End of story. I have lots in my drafts I want to write for him so keep an eye out! But until next time happy reading! ~Countess

The day that Ken Sato had moved out of your life had been the saddest one you could remember. Being kids, the adults didn't see it as such a big deal but between the two of you, it seemed like the world had ended. You both kept in touch but it still didn't make the distance seem any shorter. Years passed by and video calls turned into phone calls. Phone calls turned into missed calls. Missed calls turned into text messages and even then that didn't last long. As you grew older you let the thought of seeing Kenji again go and then the pain finally eased. You never felt that ache again, until you watched the news.

Super star player Ken Sato returns to his home country and that is the day your little world stopped spinning. Your phone rang off the hook as your friends tried to call you.

"Did you hear," your friend screamed making you grimace, "Kenji is back!"

"Yep," you sighed. "It's all over the news. Hard to ignore it."

"You don't sound excited! I thought he was your best friend when you were kids?!"

"He was, but that was a long time ago and now he's this superstar baseball player. Why would he remember me when he's made it so big?"

"Don't make that excuse, you need to go see him. You'll see that he'll be just as happy to see you as you are of him."

Despite your better judgement and a long sleepless night, you found yourself at the Giant's stadium. You had tried Ken's house only for him to be gone. And despite feeling like a stalker you tried both day and night. When that didn't work you tried looking at the restaurant you both loved as kids, no luck there either. You knew the stadium would be your best bet but you didn't want to get carted off for trespassing or embarrass Ken by your being there. Maybe you were using those as excuses. Or maybe you were terrified by the face that he probably wouldn't remember you or he'd laugh in your face that you came crawling back. Your heart slammed against your chest and your breathing turned into panicked gasps. This was impossible, you didn't know why you even bothered.

Reporters began to exit the building, pushing you along as you tried to calm yourself. The chatter of the group was too much for you at the moment. You stepped away towards a quieter part of the stadium, not noticing that you were entering in a restricted part for players and managers only. The quiet helped calm you and now you finally realized where you were at.

"Miss are you lost," a man wearing a security uniformed approached you and your panic starting to rear it's ugly head once more.

"I'm sorry I got lost," you eased back, clinging tightly to your bag's strap.

"It happens," he said politely. "May I escort you back to the main entrance?"

"Yes please."

You deflated as you followed the security guard. It didn't seem like you were ever going to see your best friend ever again. Your heart broke and you refused to let yourself cry until you got home. You almost made it back to the hall where you got lost in the flood of reporters when a voice calling your name had you freezing. He couldn't possibly know it was you? After all this time did he really remember you so well?

"Kenji?"

"I thought it was you," he grinned.

You sucked in a breath at the sight of the boy you once knew. You could tell he was handsome on the TV screen but you weren't prepared for the sight in real life. Even as a kid you had a crush on him, you just didn't realize it until later. Your mom thought it had been cute but now you just felt embarrassment. With longer sleek black hair and eyes that were so dark they sucked you in. You stopped breathing for a second when he finally stood in front of you. His eyebrow raised, he bent over waving a hand in your face. Lean and tall, it was no wonder he was an amazing athlete.

"Hello," Ken stared leaning over. "You still with me?"

"It's so good to see you," you stumbled stepping back at the proximity. "I didn't know you were coming back so soon."

He grimaced, rubbing the back of his neck. "It wasn't planned honestly. Losing mom and dad needing me."

You gasped grabbing his arm, "Kenji I'm so sorry."

You glanced to your hand and you quickly let him go, cheeks flushing brightly.

"It's okay," his smile wavered. "Have to grow up sometime."

"But," you started feeling horrible.

"It was good seeing you again," Ken replied turning away. Though this was the first time you'd seen him in so long, he still had that same way of showing his true emotions. The slightly hunched shoulders and it felt like all the warmth suddenly left the room.

"Kenji wait," you yelled.

He turned keeping his hands in his pockets. The sorrow in his eyes had you blinking back tears and you knew it was time to be brave. He remembered you and though he wasn't the same person when he left, he was still your friend. Yeah a little taller, a little more selfish, a lot of ego (you couldn't deny he earned the right), and a lot more handsome, but Kenji Sato all the same.

"Wanna go get something to eat? Our old haunt is still open and I would love to treat you. I've," you paused. "I've missed you a lot actually."

Though it didn't quite reach his eyes Ken smiled, nodding in agreement, "I'd like that. But I'm buying, no arguments."

"Fine Mr. Super Baseball Man."

He laughed, "You haven't changed at all."

That was a little disappointing. You were hoping he'd at least see how much you've grown, while he was away.

The restaurant was busy, a line forming outside but you both didn't mind waiting. Kenji hadn't eaten here in years and if you were honest, you hadn't either. You tried once after he left and though the food always tasted delicious, it wasn't the same without him. You both were ushered in a little bit after arriving and after all this time the owners remembered you both. Ordering the same thing as you both did all those years ago, it didn't take long for contentment to ease between you both. Ken's foot tapped beneath the table and you could tell he was struggling.

"You don't have to talk if you don't want to," you spoke up. Not wanting him to feel like he had to do anything to make you comfortable. Though you still felt awkward, especially when fans made their way to him for pictures and autographs, you couldn't deny that it was still easy being around him.

"It's not that I don't want to," he groaned, now drumming his fingers on the table. "It's been forever. I should have so many things to tell you and I do! I just...I don't know where to begin."

"Start with baseball that seems to be going well," you grinned.

"Ha! You could say it is going decent," he nodded. "It was different in America, I'm curious to see how it's going to go being back home."

"I imagine so. Not going to lie though, home wasn't the same either when you left. It felt like I had to start all over, it was kind of terrifying."

"I'm sorry."

You touched his hand, "It's not your fault. We were both kids. Life changes, gets in the way, separates us from loved ones. We had no control over it, like we don't have much control over anything now. I'm glad you were able to find your way Kenji. I'm glad you made a life for yourself and I'm glad you got to follow your dream. I can tell how much baseball means to you."

Ken nodded a small smile pulling at his lips again, "It does. But I think this moment right here with you means more to me than baseball right now."

You flushed brightly. You weren't expecting a reply like that but it made you feel warm inside. You opened your mouth to reply, though unsure of what you could possibly say when your orders were set down before you. Saying thanks for the food and the chime of you both breaking chopsticks apart. Another peaceful silence stayed between you both as you both slurped noodles. True to his word Ken paid for the meal and you both left with full stomachs. Your heart felt lighter and you could have sworn you were walking on air. Glancing up at Ken, you caught him watching you intently.

"Something on your mind there Mr. Sato?"

Ken shook his head giving you a look like he'd tasted something bitter, "Please don't ever call me that again. Making me feel like my father over here."

You could tell things weren't good between Ken and his dad so you didn't pry. "Okay Kenji," you crooned making him shiver.

You didn't realize how you made him feel. When Ken saw you lost in the stadium, following that security guard his heart had skipped a beat. You two had always been close as children and even though you had stopped communicating for years, what he felt for you never waned. Having you here by his side, so close and yet still so far away, it felt like a dream. One he never wanted to wake from. With a soft touch, his fingers trailed down your arm leaving goosebumps in it's wake. You stared up at him, soft eyes taking in every bit of him. He never felt so naked or alive. He didn't stop until he found the back of your hand and still he slipped further, pointer stroking against your digits. Then he bit the bullet, taking your hand into his. He almost laughed at how much smaller your hand was compared to his, but he didn't want to ruin the moment. He squeezed tighter, careful not to hurt you in anyway. You stiffened at first, shocked at him being so bold. But you had to remember he was used to getting what he wanted.

"Would it be possible that we could do this again," he asked. "Maybe somewhere more formal?"

You nodded unable to speak. He kissed the back of your hand and you could have melted right then.

"I would like that very much Ken," your voice wobbled but you didn't let it keep you from speaking.

The answering smile had you in a puddle, the only thing keeping you upright was Kenji himself as you both started reminiscing. And now that some things had been brought out in the open, you both found yourselves talking a lot easier as the past few years passed by with every verbal exchange. You never felt so happy and all it took was for the game of baseball to bring back your best friend and you were ready to see what the future held in store.

[daycourtofficial]

And if my wishes came true, it would’ve been you

Pairing: Cassian x reader | WC: 1.7k | warnings: none

Summary: after spending your birthday forgotten by your best friend, you try to grapple with the fact that his affections definitely lie outside of you

Author’s note: happy (early) birthday @sarawritestories 🥳🥳 this was fun and I hope you have a great birthday, try not to get overloaded with fics!!

You closed your eyes, wanting to drown out the noise of the clock that kept ticking, every chime from it another punch to the gut. It was a quiet evening, the only noise was the wind howling outside. You looked down at the lone cupcake on your coffee table, the unlit candle nestled within the frosting.

You sighed, looking from the clock to the door once more, the clock reading that it was a new day. Your birthday was over and your best friend blew you off. You sighed, lighting the candle by yourself, looking into the flame before blowing it out, a wish in your thoughts.

You had been contemplating the wish since last week when Cassian had brought it up. Every year, you make some variation of the same wish - that Cassian would fall in love with you, that he was your mate, that he would declare his undying love for you.

This year had to be different. You had to be different. You blink back your tears, inhaling a breath, letting your thoughts go somewhere before exhaling, the breath extinguishing the flame.

I wish Cassian would see what he’s missing.

-

You woke the next day, sluggishly preparing for work before opening your door to find a bouquet and a white box on your welcome mat. You brought the bouquet in, smelling them as you plucked the card from the top of them.

Sorry I missed your birthday, hope you had fun anyway. Azriel.

You brought the flowers and the box of pastries inside, opening the lid to find your favorite doughnuts and turnovers. Cassian may have sucked, but his brothers were incredibly thoughtful. You knew Azriel had been away on a mission all week, and a part of you wished your heart yearned for the shadowsinger instead of Cassian.

At least Azriel wouldn’t ditch you for Cauldron knows what.

You sighed out of your nose. You were three hundred and fifty two, for Mother’s sake. Cassian was a stupid male. A beautiful one, but a stupid one. If he forgot your plans, you can respond maturely by forgetting him.

An easier said than done plan when the next time you saw him later that afternoon, he made an immediate beeline towards you, a massive smile on his face as he maneuvered through the crowded streets of Velaris.

“Hey, doll.”

You kept walking, determined to make it through the streets of Velaris without paying him any heed, except Cassian doesn’t quite get what you’re not saying.

“How are ya, buttercup? Haven’t seen you for a few days, you okay?”

He had to be joking. Was he really this obtuse?

“Fine.”

His smile faltered at your clipped tone, and he rushed to keep up with you as you slipped through the crowd.

His massive body kept bumping into random patrons, his wings nearly toppling over an entire table in his attempts at keeping up with you.

“Yesterday, Nes and I found this-“

“You were with Nesta yesterday?”

You stopped in your tracks and whipped your head around so quickly Cassian backsteps. You felt your eye twitch at Cassian’s revelation, but he seemed unfazed, albeit a bit confused.

“Uh, yeah. Is something wrong?”

You took a deep breath, trying to keep in your tears. You started counting your breaths, checking your bags, ensuring you have everything you came with. “It’s fine, Cass. I have to- I gotta go. I’m late.”

You spat your words out before looking down at the ground, missing the way his face softened at your words.

“Sweetheart, wait-“

Despite Cassian’s protests, you slipped through the crowd and you could hear his heavy steps follow after you, but once you were far enough from the crowd, you winnow away, leaving Cassian alone and confused on the streets of Velaris.

You landed in your apartment, your knees hitting the floor as you fell apart completely. You could handle a half assed excuse, but the fact he had no idea he blew you off for Nesta?

You were indifferent about Nesta - she was a force to be reckoned with, she stood up for herself, and she took shit from no one. You would even like her if it weren’t for Cassian.

You could understand why Cassian would be obsessed with her, why his eyes have hardly left her since she showed up into your lives months ago.

But it didn’t lessen the punch to the gut you felt every time you had to be subjected to it.

You decided to avoid Cassian and everyone else for several days, opting instead to stay home and try to figure out just how to move on, preferring some space to sort out your feelings.

Four days after your birthday, around midnight, loud incessant knocking woke you in the middle of the night. The soft pitter patter of rain had lulled you to sleep a few hours prior, but now a raging storm was going on outside, the harsh rain colliding with your window.

The knocking started again and you crossed your house trying to figure out who would be at your door at this hour.

“Sweetheart?”

Cassian’s voice stopped you cold in your tracks a few feet away from the door.

“Sweetheart, open the damn door before I kick it in.”

You knew he would too, which was exactly why you decided to open the door with no warning, causing him to stare as he saw you.

He was drenched. It was raining so hard outside, the water poured down his face, soaking his clothes entirely, his hair undone around his shoulders. He was breathing hard, and he likely took a hard and turbulent flight to get here.

The rain bounced off his wings, his hair was limp from the water, the trellises of hair curling at the ends. He looked devastatingly handsome on your doorstep.

He looked like a marble statue of a long forgotten god.

“Sweetheart I- can I come in?”

“No.” You shouted over the rain, and you were not sure why you’re being so petty. Does he really deserve this treatment for what - falling in love with someone who wasn’t you?

Yes, you decided, he does. Because you weren’t being petty about him being in love with Nesta, you were upset about him forgetting your birthday and blowing you off, not even a half assed apology from him.

“No?”

“No. Whatever you have to say, you can say it from there.”

You pointed at the doorstep. He rubbed a hand down his face, trying to clear the water from it but the action did very little to help. His smile was blinding as he laughed, but you saw a mixture of sorrow, annoyance, and amusement all dance across his face.

“I’m sorry I forgot your birthday.”

You wanted to slam the door in his face, wanted to lock him outside in the rain forever. But you couldn’t.

He was your Cassian.

And his foot was in the doorway, a precaution he took the moment you opened your door.

Bastard.

“Ever since I got back from the continent I haven’t been keeping track of my days well. I’m sorry, sweetheart. I didn’t- nothing would be more important.”

You scoff, “are you sure about that? Not even fucking Nesta is more important?”

He took a step back, shocked at your words, and you take the moment to try to shut the door, but his hand stops you.

“Nesta? What does she have to do with this?”

“What do you mean what does she have to do with this? Don’t be an idiot, Cass.”

He barked back at you, “I’m not being an idiot, I have no idea what you’re talking about!”

The two of you were now shouting to be heard over the rain, and you opened your door wide, moving towards him. The rain started falling on you, your doorstep not having an awning to protect you from the weather.

The rain soaked your nightgown, making it cling to you like a second skin, but your anger was making you so hot that you didn't even notice.

“You are being an idiot! Because I’m in love with you! And you’re in love with her! And you forgot me on my birthday!”

You pushed his shoulders, annoyance seeping from every pore. His face quirks in confusion, but he squared his shoulders, puffing out his chest to you.

“No, you’re the one being an idiot because I’m in love with you!”

Your heart stopped, but you weren’t sure if you heard him right. You stood up taller, getting in his face. “Oh yeah? Well, if you’re in love with me, why were you fucking Nesta on my birthday?”

He towered over you, his dark brown eyes looking into yours, his thick eyebrows drawn together.

“Fucking Nesta? Nesta was helping me plan things for your birthday. I knew I couldn’t ask Rhysand because he can’t keep secrets from you, Azriel’s been hard to catch the past few weeks, so I asked Nesta to help me pick out some jewelry for you!”

Your chest heaved, throat burning from yelling.

“So you love me?”

A crackle of thunder could be heard, causing you to flinch slightly. Cassian’s hands reached your arms, and it’s then that the chill of the rain started to seep into your bones.

“Of course I do! You’re the nicest, most beautiful, most caring female I’ve ever met!”

His words were lovely, but he was still shouting at you, a juxtaposition if you’ve ever seen one.

You scoffed, and you watched as it made him angrier. “Of course I fucking love you, why wouldn’t I?”

“I don’t know, because Nesta’s hot?”

He threw his hands up in the air, running his hands down his face. “I thought you’d never want me. Nesta was helping me get the courage to tell you how I felt! She kept threatening me that she would do it if I didn’t and I suck with words, but gods damnit-“

His words cut off there as his hands roughly grabbed your face, pulling you into him. The kiss was magical, and your hands grabbed his shoulders to pull him in closer.

Despite the rain, he was so warm. The water cascaded down both of your faces, making it a little hard to breathe, but you couldn’t find it in yourself to care.

He was the perfect mix of rough and gentle, the feeling of his hands and lips was so Cassian you wanted to laugh and scream. He was both so familiar and so new all at once, it was everything you ever thought he would be.

Your lungs eventually pulled you back, desperately clawing for air. The two of you looked at each other, Cassian’s thumb swiping across your jaw, tucking some hair behind your ear.

“Can I come in now?”

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[chaniceroses]

Bad Boys Ride or Die (Armando x Reader) Part EIGHT

You found yourself awakened by the sound of birds chirping. The sun was slowly making an appearance into the sky and the fire that was once lit last night, was now slowly smoking away. You stretched out your arms and legs to allow the muscles to expand throughout your body so that you wouldn’t be sore getting up. You turned to see Armando laying against the tree next to yours. All you could do was stare, although he was frowning in his sleep, you thought he looked beautiful while doing it. You began to feel bad for him. You knew that he was raised within the Cartel, and born to become a killer for his mother. However you wanted to change that, you wanted to show him that there was more to life than to always be on the run or being a hitman.  You were so caught up with watching Armando that you didn’t even notice that Mike was walking towards you. 

“Hey…Y/n.”Mike muttered, stopping in front of you.

You gave him a nod in response. You weren’t sure how you felt about Mike, he had been a bitch towards yesterday and it made you feel angry. You used to love him and Marcus equally however now, Mike is more on your shit-list.

“Can I sit right here?”he asked, pointing to the open space next to you.

You turned to look at the spot, thinking if you really wanted him by you or not. You weren’t in the mood to sit and have a conversation with him since you were just woken up by the birds however you figured it may be for the better.

“Free will.”

Observing Mike as he sat down, you could feel the tension that was there between the two of you. It was hugging you tighter and tighter every time you guys were around each other.

“What is it? You’re not over here for no reason.”, you continued looking out to where Marcus was sleeping.

“Yeah, I couldn’t help but to come over and talk to you, especially after what you said last night.”

“It was a one time explanation Mike, I told you that.”, you sighed, turning to look at him. You could tell that he was going back into the past. The way he kept his face forward while allowing his eyes to figure things out.

“I know but why didn’t you tell me that you were undercover and that you knew Howard? I would’ve helped.”

“Would you have told someone you were undercover?”

He stayed silent.

“Exactly, Mike. I was an amaterue and was afraid, okay…”, you replied, turning to look at him.

“I understand but I have to say this.. when you went to this tree to lean against it last night, I couldn’t help but to watch the way Armando followed you like a lost puppy.”, he laughed, randomly bringing it up.

“I think that’s a stretch, don’t look to much into it Mike.”, you scoffed, waving your hand off at him.

You knew exactly what he meant and you knew that he wasn’t lying. However, none of it was needed right now. You had your eyes set on one person, McGrath.

“I’m telling you, y/n. When you threw a tantrum yesterday—”

“Excuse me…”, you interrupted, folding your arms while turning to look at him.

“Just listen. When you were “upset” about us staying right here for the evening and then decided to leave and be on your own, yesterday .... He stared at you the whole entire time as you were leaving.”, he laughed.

“So? I stare at people, it doesn't mean anything.”, you replied, shrugging your shoulders. You knew that you were lying, it meant everything to you. You just didn’t want to admit it.

“No this was different…I don’t know how to explain it but it was just different. He tried to tell Marcus and I to do certain things but couldn’t even focus because he was too busy looking in the direction that you had gone.”, he explained, turning his attention towards you.

“And when he couldn’t see you anymore, he told Marcus and I to get some wood together so that we could light a fire, and use it as a source  to bring you back once he found you. No offense but…. I was against him going to get you. At the time, I felt that he would not only be wasting his time but ours also. However once he said that he needed you and I saw that look in his eyes. I stopped debating about it.”, he continued scratching the back of his head.

You shifted your head a little bit towards Armando to see him shifting in his sleep. You couldn’t help but to feel smitten but also confused. You didn’t want to get him hurt, he lost his mother and now has to live his life being on the run. This was too much.

“That’s…great. Cool.”, you sighed looking at Mike. “I mean what else would you like for me to say Mike. You were a bitch to me all day yesterday because you felt that you couldn’t “trust me”. Now you’re telling me this, why?”

“Look I apologized for that, y/n. You don’t think that I was hurt while having to act that way. Hell I cared about you then and I still do now… even with your smart ass mouth. I was just scared, that’s all.”, he argued. “Plus I'm telling you this because I know that you feel the same. So don’t try to bullshit me, okay.”

You lifted your shoulders while turning to Mike. You didn’t know what you were about to say but you just knew that something was about to come out of your mouth.

“Listen Mike..if you actually know me like you say you do…you would know that me “bullshitting” isn’t something that I do. So for your information, I don’t care for Armando, at all ...And let's say there was something ... .well I wouldn’t want it because I'm not like you. Fucking around with people  while being on the job, like you did with Rita. So please, let's get them up so we can leave. Okay..”, you snapped back, allowing your ego to get in the way. You knew what you were saying wasn’t true but you felt that you had to protect yourself. Protect Armando.

You watched as Mike stood up and offered his hand out to you, signaling you to use it. Grabbing it, you lifted yourself up and wiped the dirt off of your clothes.

“Sure y/n, sure.”, he replied walking away.

You felt that it was weird, weird having to act a certain way, even if you knew that it wasn’t the truth. You slowly started to regret everything that you said, wanting to tell Mike that you didn’t mean it but by the time you got ready to open your mouth. You could hear low grunts and the sound of leaves happening next to you. You turned to see Armando standing up stretching. 

“Let’s head out,  there should be a road a couple miles North.”Armando yawned while walking towards Mike and Marcus. You watched as he walked past you. You turned to Mike to see if he noticed but he was too busy talking to Marcus. You shrugged it off, not thinking anything about it and followed Armando.

Time passed by, and after all of the walking and running that you, Marcus, Mike and Armando did. You finally found a road that led to a random trailer park. So you guys hid in the bushes to see if you could see anything that would be useful.

“That will be useful for you guys.”, you whispered pointing towards the clothes line that was hung. 

“Yeah but we also need—”, before Marcus could finish his sentence, the three of you watched as Armando sprinted off onto the side of a broken down trailer.

“What the hell is he doing?”, you muttered watching him leave. You looked at Mike, then at Marcus and then sprinted towards the direction Armando went. 

“Y/n! Armando!”Mike loudly whispered watching you guys leave.

You looked around for Armando, until you found him changing his clothes. You watched as he pulled the dirty white t-shirt that he found over his head, to see you staring at him. He didn’t look too happy.

“What the hell are you doing?”Armando mumbled, looking around to make sure no one saw you two.

“What do you mean, I’m helping you. Marcus and Mike have each other.”, you replied with a confused look on your face. You watched as he rolled his eyes and then waved at you to follow him.

“You see that truck. That’s going to be our ride.”, he pointed, navigating towards the peeled white and red truck that was in the middle of the park. You shook your head in agreement and watched as he inched closer towards the truck.

Once you saw him reach his hand back, you knew it was meant for you to hold again  since that’s what he’s been doing. So you stayed low and jogged towards him, making sure that no one could see you. Reaching out your hand to grab his, you grabbed it so that you could keep up with him. Till  he quickly snatched his hand back and turned his head slightly back for him to make eye-contact with you.

“What the hell was that about? I didn’t ask you to hold my hand.”, he whispered irritatingly.

“I assumed because you put your hand out..that you wanted me to…”

 “Don’t assume.”, he heckled. “The truck is right there, so run towards it when I do or get left.”

You remained silent. You felt lost and disturbed, what the hell just happened? Why was he acting cold towards you all of a sudden? You looked around to be sure that no one else was behind you, then ran as soon as he did. Opening the door and getting inside, you noticed it was just one long seat. Which means you would have to sit right next to him. Shutting the door and scooting towards the middle, you buckled your seatbelt and watched as Armando drove towards Marcus, Mike and the two white males.

You watched as the two guys turned around to get ready to shoot at you and Armando until Marcus and Mike kicked them and pushed them to the side while taking their guns.

“GET ON!”, you yelled watching them jump onto the back of the truck. You were hoping that at least one of them would sit up front with you and Armando. However, the opposite happened so here goes this long ass ride.

He was driving and you were hoping to make it back to Miami by tonight. You were nowhere near the city since the plane crashed in the middle of nowhere but you knew everything that we needed was there. You could see Armando looking at you from your peripheral vision and  you wanted to stay silent but you couldn’t help it.

“What’s your problem?” you asked, while looking out the window.

He kept silent, you could tell that he was bothered. 

“Armando. I know you hear me talking to you.”, you continued. You were now looking at him, having your whole body towards him. He had your attention and you knew that he knew that he did but that damn ego of his kept him quiet.

“So we’re playing those childish ass games now..”

“What do you want, y/n, damn.”, he replied, breaking the silence. He couldn’t help it.

“What do I want? I’m trying to figure out what's wrong with you, we were fine yesterday and now you’re acting all weird.”

“Me…acting weird, never love.”, he scoffed, allowing his accent to roll off of his tongue. It turned you on and you could feel it. He felt it because he looked over at you and then back at the road.

“You’re so up and down Armando, what’s going on?”

“You want to know what my problem is with you, y/n?”

“Oh so all of a sudden you have a problem, last night you were…i don’t know…talking to me and stuff but now you’re acting like a bitch.”. You argued. 

“A bitch…Me? There’s two people inside of this car right now, that is the perfect definition of bitch and I’m looking at her.”, he laughed angrily, looking over at you.

You couldn't help but to remain silent. That sentence alone had shut you up which had never happened before and he knew it. You..a bitch. Never.

“So I’m a bitch now, well fuck you Armando. Seriously.”, you replied, giving him a slight push.

“Hey c’mon baby, I’m driving!”, he yelled pointing out towards the road.

Baby?

“Oh so now I’m your baby…You’re so confusing.”, you whined, throwing your head into your hands.

“Me? Y/n, you’ve been giving me  mixed signals left and right. One minute you want me…the next minute you don’t. I just don’t get it.”

You turned to face him, you knew that this was a perfect opportunity for you to be a smartass like he was earlier towards you.

“That’s brave enough of you to assume that I would want you.”, you lied folding your arms.

“Huh..what…what are you saying?”, he stuttered, being caught off guard by your statement. You watched as he kepting shifting his eyes from you to the road.

“I’m saying that’s a wild assumption, I never said that I wanted you.”

You watched as he shoved his tongue to the side of his cheek, he was beyond mad. He was gripping the wheel a bit tighter now and you were wishing that it was your neck instead.

“Oh I get it…Earlier, when I snatched my hands away…Okay but let's not act like that conversation between you and Mike never happened, this morning.”, he laughed looking out of the review mirror.

“What?”

“Whaaattt?”, he mocked. “Between you and Mike, I heard you and everything that you said y/n. Fun fact about me, I’m an extremely light sleeper sweetie.”

You were stunned, something told you not to say those things. Especially with Armando being near you but you couldn’t help it. You were tired of people questioning you about how you feel and telling you about yourself. You looked at Armando and watched as he avoided eye-contact with you.

“Armando…”, you sighed, reaching out your hand and setting it onto his thigh. You felt confused on the inside and hurt. You weren’t sure what to do. “I care for you..I do…it’s just that—”

“Y/n just stop, we’re no good for each other and you don’t want me. I understand, there’s plenty of fish in the sea.”, he interrupted, removing your hand. He knew that was a lie and you could tell by the way he swallowed the lump that was in his throat. However you couldn’t help but to feel your heart fall into your stomach. You wanted Armando, you just didn’t know how to express it to him.

You looked back to see Marcus and Mike having a conversation in the back of the truck.

“Can you stop the truck?”, you asked, turning your focus back to Armando. You watched as he instantly pulled over,  not even acknowledging you sitting next to him anymore.

Getting out of the truck and shutting the door, you walked to the back where Marcus and Mike were to let down the door.

“Why did we stop? Y/n, what’s wrong?”Marcus asked, noticing the depressing look on your face.

You turned to look at Mike to see him looking at Armando through the back window and then back at you, he was catching on.

“Um…Can you guys ride up front, I need to be alone.”, you whispered trying to avoid eye-contact. You watched as Mike and Marcus worked their way towards the end of the truck to get out. They helped you climb on and made sure you were comfortable before getting up front. Once Armando started driving again, you found yourself blinking very fast, to stop yourself from crying. The wind was slapping you in the face and was softly throwing your body around. Although you were alive, you felt dead inside.

He hated you now and you were sure of it. You weren’t trying to be cold towards him or to lie but you felt what you said was for the best. For you and for him. Now you could feel it, the tears streaming down your face while your regret sat on your back. You decided to get comfortable, so you caved your knees close to your chest and buried your head in it. Hoping that you get that happy ending that you felt, you and Armando deserved.

[withwritersblock]

Please Please Please

~Please Please Please by Sabrina Carpenter~

Author's Note: I love this song with my whole heart Summary: Kirby and Y/N soft launch on social media Warnings: none I think Word Count: 1,907 Kirby Dach x fm!reader

Kirby and Y/N have been together for almost a year. It was safe to say it was the best year of her life. They were both in the limelight, at different levels. Kirby played for the Montreal Canadiens while Y/N had a few million followers on Youtube and Tiktok. 

For the two months leading up to their one year anniversary she wanted to slowly introduce her followers to him. A few years ago, her followers hated the idea of her being in a relationship and Kirby’s fans tended to attack any girl that was involved with him. So they thought it would be for the best to ease into the relationship.

She laid on the bed, running her fingers along his chest. Today was the first day she was planning on giving her followers a glimpse of Kirby. She had briefly mentioned having a boyfriend in her most recent Youtube video. Her followers were instantly invested in the idea.

“Are you coming to the game with me?” Kirby asked, his voice rasped as he spoke. She hummed as she stared towards her light pink nails tracing along his skin. “Good, I’ll hang in the WAGs suite with you,” he leaned towards her, kissing the top of her head. 

“Yay,” she mumbled as she slowly climbed out of the bed, he pouted slightly. He watched her walk towards the bathroom. 

“Hey, where are you going?” he asked, a small smile on his lips. She spun around, running a hand through her slightly messy hair.

“Coffee, want some?” she offered. He stood up from the mattress instead, “Oh, are you going to join me?” she asked in a teasing tone, “Don’t want breakfast in bed?” she continued on. 

He smiled widely as he bit his bottom lip,”Pretty sure I already had my breakfast in bed,” he teased as he took a hold of her waist pulling her towards him. She gasped as her back hit against his chest. 

“You’re awful,” she mumbled as he guided them both out of the bedroom, while he still held her to his chest.

“You love it,” he mumbled into her hair. She rolled her eyes as she reluctantly stepped away from him pulling her phone from her pocket. 

“Yeah, maybe,” she mumbled as she pulled up her Tiktok, “Do you want to start to be a little bread crumb in my videos?” she asked in a dramatic theatrical tone. He chuckled as he walked towards the coffee pot.

“Wherever you need me, babe,” he said excitedly. He began adding coffee grounds to the pot as she began searching for songs for her video. “Do I need to pose? Smile? Flirt with the camera?” he asked dramatically. 

“I don’t think I’m going to show much of your body. My fans are nuts, they’ll find you by the ring on your finger,” she said laughing. He nodded while chuckling. She stared towards his bare back, admiring the muscles as they slightly tensed as he moved. “I think I’ll wait until you’re in your suit for tonight,” she mumbled as she leaned forward onto the counter.

He turned the coffee pot on before he spun around, meeting her gaze. He crossed his arms over his chest, a small smile on his lips. “They may show me on the broadcast, you know. If your fans are as crazy as you say then they’ll find out that way,” he expressed.

She let out a dramatic groan, “You’re right but I got an idea that it won’t be too obvious,” she teased. He rolled his eyes playfully.

~

It was about an hour later and she had about fifteen seconds filmed. It was all short but aesthetic looking moments of her day. Her Tiktok persona was vastly different from the videos she posted on Youtube. She was a daily vlogger for both accounts but her Youtube was more raw and real. Her Tiktok stuck to the more aesthetic and pretty parts of her day. 

The first clip was a sleepy moment in the mirror, the second was her cup of iced coffee she made, and the third was her getting dressed. It was simple but it was cute. It was a weird way of helping her mentally. Creating a cute video of her day helped her avoid staying in bed. 

She sat in her vanity, recording for her Youtube channel. She was doing a Q and A for her channel. She had a collection of questions from her Instagram she planned on using. She was halfway through her makeup and halfway through her video when she finally addressed the boyfriend situation. 

“This next one is-are we going to get to see your boyfriend soon? So my boyfriend and I have been talking about that and we are going to do a soft launch. I hate that phrase but after what I expressed with my last boyfriend, I think this is for the best. I already know that many of you will try and investigate who he is. I can’t avoid that but I can spare my feelings for a while,” she explained, a small chuckle falling from her lips after she finished speaking. 

“Hey baby, what suit looks better?” he asked as his head was down staring towards his feet. He was holding a dark blue and a cream colored one. He lifted his gaze to see the camera set up on her vanity. His mouth formed a small O shape as his cheeks flushed red, “Oh sorry, I didn’t realize you were filming,” he clambered as he stepped away towards the door.

“No, it’s okay, let me see,” she uttered as she tilted her head to the side. She only had one eye done. He tilted his head to the side, a small smile forming to his lips.

“You look gorgeous,” he mumbled.

“It’s not even done yet,” she mumbled shyly.

“Still gorgeous,” he let out. He took a deep breath, holding the dark blue to his body for a few seconds. He then did the same with the cream. 

“I haven’t seen the cream in a while, go try it on,” she ushered. He nodded, leaving the room. 

“I did see this question a lot-What’s your boyfriend’s name?” a small chuckle fell from her lips, “If I told you guys that you would probably figure it out right away. So all you guys get for right now is boyfriend. You guys kept asking if he didn’t like being on camera and that’s why I haven’t shown him. But it’s more of a privacy thing. We wanted to be secure in the relationship before I plastered it all over social media. Also, people who put every aspect of their relationship on the Internet scare me,” 

She paused as she continued finishing her eye shadow, it was a subtle look but it was glittery. “Babe,” Kirby mumbled. She spun around, admiring the cream color suit. She nodded dramatically with a wide smile on her face. 

“You have to add this back into your rotation, I love it,” she muttered. He dropped his head, smiling shyly before he stepped out of the room. 

“Thank you, baby!” he shouted. “We have to leave in like twenty!” he explained.

“I’m almost done, promise!” she shouted back. She looked back towards the camera, “I think I will definitely film moments with him, of course. May even leave that moment in the video. I don’t know yet, but he’s going at my pace and what I’m comfortable sharing. So it’ll definitely be soon. Anyways-” she finished off with her outro, showing off the finished makeup look. 

After ten minutes, she was completely ready. Kirby stood still, his hands in his pockets as she rested her hand against his chest. Her light pink nails were in view. She filmed a short clip, practically showing him off. “Got what you needed?” he asked while resting his hand onto her hip, toying with the belt loop on her jeans. She hummed, her chest aching slightly.

She filmed the outside view of their drive from her apartment to the arena. She didn’t film the arena, or the game itself. It would’ve been extra obvious. Despite the difficult season the Canadiens were having, they won their game 2-1 in an OT goal by Nick. It was amazing to watch. 

She ended up filming the dinner the team and the WAGs all went to, she filmed her food, not anyone involved. She drafted the video to post tomorrow morning instead. It was a great day and documenting it made it even better.

~

The following morning she had shown the Tiktok to Kirby before she posted it. He helped her with the caption, finding himself clever in the process. They both kept refreshing the app, looking at the comments waiting for someone to try and guess who it was. 

It took four minutes for someone to guess that it was Kirby. Although, the longer the video remained up on Tiktok the faster the comment got buried on her page. Everyone else was simply freaking out that she wasn’t lying about having someone. Which was a common comment she got when she first brought him up.

He rested his head onto her stomach as she had her laptop on her chest. He ran his hands up and down her side soothingly as he was in and out of sleep. She was editing her video while he slept.

She watched the clip of Kirby asking her which suit looked better. A small smile formed on her lips to see him act all shy. She spent twenty minutes simply editing that twenty second clip, trying to disguise his identity. She covered the majority of his frame with a meme photo. She didn’t distort his voice, simply covering the majority of his body. She would just let people speculate on if it was him or not based off of his voice.

She watched the clip, smiling to herself. She tapped his back, and she sat up quickly. “You okay?” he forced out, blinking his eyes rapidly. She chuckled.

“Yes, pretty boy,” she mumbled, reaching behind her computer, rubbing the small stubble on his jawline. “Watch this,” she explained, spinning her laptop around, playing the small ten second moment. 

He laughed as he saw the megamind meme covering the majority of his frame. “What the hell?” he said while shaking his head.

“What do you think?” she asked with a small smile on her lips.

“I think it’s funny,” he let out as she spun the computer back towards herself, “I think you should also leave it in,” he mumbled, laying back down on her stomach. She nodded.

“I think so too. They’ll definitely recognize your voice but it’ll work out,” she mumbled as she continued to finish editing the video.

It took her another hour to finish editing the video, and another hour and a half to process and upload the video. For the second time that day they laid beside one another staring at the comments.

No one seemed to try and dissect who he was. “The way she looks at him! Stop it right now,” she read out loud, “This is cute,” she mumbled.

“He sounds hot,” he read out, “They know what they’re talking about,” he teased.

“Of course that’s the one you read,” she said, shoving him slightly. 

“It’s true,” 

“Oh please,” she let out while rolling her eyes playfully.

[lulublack90]

Prompt 18 - Saltwater

@wolfstarmicrofic June 18, word count 623

Previous part First part

“Today I’m splitting you four up. Black, Pettigrew, you will be on toilet cleaning duty. I expect every cabin to be spotless. I will be inspecting.” McGonagall pushed rubber gloves into Sirius and Peter’s hands as well as a caddy with cleaning supplies. “Potter and Lupin, you will be helping Irma in the library to rescan the books into the new system.” 

“Wait, how come James and Remus get the good job, and I’m stuck cleaning toilets?” Peter protested. 

“I flipped a coin, Mr Pettigrew,” Minerva said simply. “If you are finished before lunchtime you may join the rest of the campers at the lake on the inflatables,” She turned and walked away, leaving them to their chores. Peter was still grumbling under his breath, but Sirius stepped forward and kissed Remus on the lips gently before grabbing Peter and dragging him to the first cabin. 

Remus and James made their way over to the library.

“Getting pretty serious then?” James teased him, poking him in the side with his finger. Remus jumped out of his reach. 

“I don’t know. He’s the first boyfriend I’ve ever had. It's all very new for me,” He confessed to James, chewing on his lip. 

“Boyfriend?!” James choked. Remus felt his stomach drop. “Did he actually tell you that?” 

“Er, erm—No, I just—I don’t—Erm.” Remus started panicking. He’d just assumed that they were going out. He was such an idiot. 

They entered the cool, quiet library and listened to Ms. Pince’s instructions on how to scan and reshelve the books. Remus was quiet while he worked. James kept trying to get him to talk, but he just nodded and walked away to reshelve the book he’d just scanned. He was reshelving a book on Saltwater Crocodiles when James grabbed him and pulled him behind one of the shelves out of the eyeline of Ms Pince. 

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to upset you. I tend to open my mouth before my brain catches up with what’s coming out of it.” James apologised. Remus nodded, not sure what to say. “Remus, are we okay?” Remus looked up to meet his eyes.

“Yeah, of course.” He couldn’t say any more because James had gathered him in his arms and was spinning him around. 

“What on earth are you two doing?” Ms Pince came around the corner in near silence.

“Sorry,” James said as he put Remus back on his feet. “We’ll get back to work now.” 

“Make sure you do,” She stared daggers at them before returning to her desk. They somehow got through all the books just as Sirius came bursting into the library smelling like toilet products. He didn’t even have time to fret over what to say because, for the second time in an hour, he was scooped up off his feet and swung around in a circle. 

“Eww, Sirius, put me down. You smell terrible.” He laughed as Sirius put him down and rubbed himself all over him as he tried to escape. 

“OUT!!!” Ms Pince barked at them. 

“Where’s Pete?” James asked once they were out of the library. 

“He’s in the shower, so I thought I’d come see how you two were getting on. Make sure we can all go on the inflatables.” He’d wrapped his arm around Remus as they walked back to their cabin. 

“I think you need a shower as well,” He wrinkled his nose at the smell. 

“Wanna join me?” Remus stopped dead, eyes bugging out of his face. “Remus, calm down, I’m teasing.” He kissed Remus again and tugged him until he started walking. Remus’s brain was going a million miles a minute. James’s words spinning around his head as he walked up the steps. 

Next part

[another-goblin]

Spoilers for 2.3

Some thoughts, speculations, and headcanons about our little dialogue with Ratio (+more)

1. This tells me that Ratio and Aventurine are friends (or as close to being friends as both of them are currently capable of, which isn't much, but still). Yes, what Aventurine thinks about TB could have been them discussing their mission. But I choose to think that they just chat with each other sometimes, because they actually enjoy it. Aventurine feels comfortable enough to just share what he thinks about the people he meets, and he knows that Ratio is interested in his opinions, and he's right. He listens and takes note. btw people being actual friends is my favorite trope for romantic couples.

2. Ratio seeing his relationships with Aventurine, and our TB, and people in general as a teacher and a student and being constantly in his teacher mode made me think. Probably all significant relationships in his life were those of a teacher and a student. He cannot see himself in any other role because he has never experienced it himself. I wouldn't be surprised if even his parents provided him with knowledge and education instead of parental love. This may also be why he's so frustrated with people who don't fit these two roles: normal people not interested in bettering themselves through education, students who don't take studying seriously, most scholars, and especially the Geniuses, for not actively sharing their knowledge or doing anything to uplift humanity.

3. Ratio seeing their relationship with Aventurine in particular this way is appropriately weird and a bit unhealthy, in my opinion (but what did we expect from him), considering that they are undeniably close. But that's probably the only way he knows to show his care for somebody:  to teach them stuff and help them better themselves.

4. On Avenrutine's side, he seems amused by it, in a good way (the way he playfully refers to Ratio in the descriptions of some of the 2.1 quests, "Your professor friend," and so on). He even seems to be a bit proud that an actual professor has taken an interest in him.

5. But what can he teach Aventurine? He might share his actual knowledge. I think the "Death" and "Dormancy" part of his note is him doing that. But he mostly sees his duty as a teacher in showing people that they can achieve a lot by themselves if they stop relying on higher beings who don't care about them and start relying on themselves (with little help from Ratio.)

But "relying on himself and achieving things" is what Aventurine has been successfully doing most of his life. So is it the "little help from Ratio" that matters here? Or is he helping Aventurine stop relying on his supposedly supernatural luck and realize how capable he actually is?

6. This. (btw 'philosophical zombie' means "a being in a thought experiment in philosophy of mind that is physically identical to a normal human being but does not have conscious experience" (from wiki), so basically just some weird concept in philosophy.) But what an admirably in-depth knowledge of his 'not partner' he's showing here. Are you equally interested in the inner worlds of all your students, doc?…

7. Anyways, that reminded me of what Jade said about the Stonehearts, even using the same word 'void'. So. Aventurine has a void in his heart, caused by his inability to protect people he cares about. It's very significant that Diamond gave him the power of Preservation specifically to help him fill that void, to be finally able to protect somebody he cares about. The problem is, he doesn't have anyone to protect anymore (he doesn't even see himself as worthy of protection). Until recently. So, and I'm being extremely self-indulgent here, if Ratio got in danger, Aventurine protecting and saving him would fill the void in his heart. And btw what can boost one's self-worth more than protecting somebody who's important to you? I mean, he should snap out of that 'I'm only worth the money my slaveowner paid for me' mentality sooner or later, I hope.

(the problem is, I'm not sure how it can play out now that he doesn't have his stone anymore. And he lost it, not protecting anybody but nearly killing himself and furthering the IPC's agenda. Although doing something like that without the stone would be even more significant)

Also, I hope Ratio won't realize that, and won't deliberately put himself in danger for Aventurine to save him. You know, for educational purposes.

8. He just runs around helping people, making sure everybody's okay, and, emm, 'enhance their living', that's his thing.  And even broadly speaking, with his scientific discoveries, and him saving people on Herta station. And considering that 'everybody's my student' thing, I feel like he sees himself as responsible for everybody (in his own way).

And some people still think that he's selfish and egoistic. He even gets angry when we ask for an autograph:

9. Aaand that's the third time he disappeared in the middle of a conversation involving Aventurine. I understand him, though. As somebody who also 'detests noisy gatherings', group chats aren't much better.

------

ok this was supposed to be hidden in tags but i think tumblr found it too scandalous or something i don't know, i'll just leave it here: the more I write about Ratio, the stronger the urge to just call him Rat, you know, lovingly also whoops sorry, I'm physically incapable of writing short posts, it was supposed to be a short comment about their friendship, how much content can I squeeze out of a half-minute long dialogue?, the answer is yes, but I just had to get it out of my system

[seramilla]

May I propose that for a fun twist, that when Vaggie goes dress shopping with her mamá and hermanas she tries every single thing but the white just gives her the ick reminding her of Heaven a bit too much. So Carmilla picks out something unconventional for her. A red and black wedding dress…one that has a slit going up to her thigh that shows off the black lacey wedding garter.

Before meeting Charlie, the thought of "marriage" and "Vaggie" in the same sentence had never computed in Vaggie's mind. Even when she and Charlie had started dating, she hadn't been sure marriage was in the stars for her. It seemed like something other people did, but not her. But then Charlie had proposed to her, and Vaggie's entire outlook had been turned on its head. Vaggie had of course said yes, and now it's up to her to figure out what that means for herself.

The only problem is, Vaggie has no idea how to plan for a wedding, or what to even wear, for that matter. She's never been to one, and has no idea what the ceremony even entails. Thankfully, she now has a mother who had been married at one point when she was alive, and two older sisters more than willing to provide an...age-appropriate opinion, so that Carmilla doesn't get carried away, as mothers are often wont to do.

Don't get her wrong, Vaggie values Carmilla's opinion...she just thinks Odette and Clara might provide some much-needed...perspective. Carmilla was married a long time ago...and times have changed since then.

Case in point: Carmilla is old-school, and drags Vaggie, who is very nearly on the verge of puking, through a boutique stacked floor to ceiling with the most gaudy white and white-adjacent wedding gowns Vaggie thinks she's ever seen. Carmilla says it's tradition, and just the way things are usually done. White has been the color of choice for brides for generations of women -- mostly for reasons like tradition, symbolism, personal preference, and just carrying down the same outfits from generation to generation.

The only problem is, Vaggie hates white. Hates it. It reminds her of Heaven and empty platitudes and purity culture and asshole nobles who had called her and the other Exorcists "ruffians" for not embracing the typical snow-white and pastel attire adorned by almost everyone else up there.

Vaggie tries on a few white and lighter-colored dresses, because she loves Carmilla, and a part of her really wants Carmilla's approval in this. But after about the fourth or fifth one, she can feel the bile creeping up the back of her throat at the thought of trying on another. When Carmilla tries to shove the next dress into her arms, Vaggie puts her foot down.

"Mama!" Vaggie huffs, pushing the next dress away. "Look...I really appreciate you wanting to help me, but I just don't like any of this stuff. Isn't there something that doesn't make me look so...angelic?"

"Give it up, Mama," Clara says, doing her best not to laugh at Carmilla's "How-Dare-You!" expression. Odette covers her mouth in amusement, also trying not to laugh. The overlord is simply doing her best...but Carmilla can be a little overbearing when it comes to shopping with her daughters. She has very strong opinions. Odette and Clara had tried to warn Vaggie beforehand, but the fallen angel is clearly discovering it now.

Carmilla sighs heavily. "All right. What colors do you want?"

Vaggie twiddles her fingers. It's a little embarrassing...but ever since meeting Charlie, the red aesthetic just does it for her. They both wear it so often at the hotel, that it's just become a part of her outfit rotation. She mentions to Carmilla, "Something red?"

Carmilla, "Hmmms" under her breath, looking around the store until something catches her eye. She then drags Clara and Odette along with her, as if to gauge their opinion on whatever she's found. A few minutes later, her mother and sisters return with a few different pieces. Carmilla likes one in particular more than the others...but again, Odette and Clara override her, saying there's way too many sequins and lace, and it's not flattering on Vaggie at all. They make their own suggestions, taking Vaggie's preferences into consideration.

Ultimately, Vaggie settles on a gorgeous red wedding dress, with black around the bust and inner lining, and a slit going up the side to expose a black lace garter underneath. Vaggie blushes to herself, just knowing instinctively Charlie will love it. Charlie loves red on her. She makes a mental note to help Charlie find a sexy red suit to match.

Odette and Clara go on the hunt for some matching accessories, and Vaggie honestly just wants to hug the two of them. Carmilla means well...and she did manage to find a pair of banger shoes to go along with the dress...but her sisters had really stepped up for her, in more ways than one. All in all, the family works together to make this process as enjoyable as possible, and come away with something that Vaggie, and Charlie, will appreciate for the rest of their lives.

Vaggie decides that even though she isn't much of a shopper, it's nice to be able to spend time together as a family like this. Even with all the little quirks and annoyances that go along with it. She will take the good and the bad. Because it's all part and parcel of finally having what she's always wanted most -- people who love her.

[sweetestcaptainhughes]

Instant Gratification

Written alongside the amazingly talented @icebound-imagination

Made with encouragement from @puck-luck

Prompt: You need some instant gratification.

Warnings: thigh riding, unprotected sex, dominant guy submissive girl. Proceed with caution.

PART ONE       PART TWO       PART THREE      PART FOUR

PART ONE

You woke up slowly, without Quinn, which wasn’t unusual when he had an early morning skate. You’re someone who can’t just get up and get straight out of bed. You rolled over and grabbed your phone, deciding to scroll on Instagram for a little. You hadn’t been scrolling for long when you saw an edit of him from the playoffs back in May. It’s footage of him   standing  for the National anthem , his hair was longer then, hanging in his face, with his beard starting to grow out. Quinn looked so good, you were in awe of him sometimes. Thirst trap indeed, in a few quick seconds you were craving your boyfriend. You feel that all too familiar feeling in your stomach and you squeeze your thighs together to try to relieve some pressure. You look up at the time in the corner of your phone screen and realize that he might have just gotten home. Although you didn’t want to interrupt him during his post practice routine, you really needed him for some sexual gratification. 

You climbed out of bed and pulled on the shirt he had worn yesterday from the top of the hamper, lifting the collar to catch the scent of his cologne. The scent only made you want him more as you wandered out into the living room, glad to find Quinn sitting on the couch with breakfast.

“I’m glad you’re back, I really need you,” you told him. You bit your lip and messed with the hem of the shirt you had on. 

He shook his head, “Darling, I need to finish my breakfast. I burned a lot of calories this morning during skate.” 

You crossed your arms over your chest and raised a brow, “Okay. If you don’t satisfy me then I'm gonna let the shower head do the job.”  You turn to walk away and he grabs onto your wrist. The plate previously balanced on his thighs had been slid onto the coffee table and you’re pulled to his lap instead. The second your thighs make contact with his, you begin grinding down onto him, trying to get pressure against your core. You were nearly aching for him. “You’re such a fucking slut and I love you for it. It’s hardly  even 8 AM and you're already whimpering for me,” he marks his words with one hand going to your throat, the other grabbing and squeezing your ass. “What do you need baby, why don’t you use your words?”

“Ya ya you-“

“Hmm… that could mean a lot of things, baby girl. “

“Your cock.. I- I need to feel you inside me please huggy. I need you.” It was hard to speak when his lips were everywhere and his hands were being anything but gentle. Not to mention his mouth wandering down your neck. 

“I thought the shower head was good enough though, you didn’t need me then did you?”

“I said the shower head would do. I’d rather have you, but you were concerned with eating,” your hands go under his crewneck and you drag your nails down his chest, leaving red marks on his pale skin. 

He lifts the shirt you’re wearing up, prepared to remove your panties, but instead he discovers you don’t have any on. “God you’re such a fucking little slut aren’t you? No panties, hmm?”

“Why would I need panties when I need to be taken care of. Take care of me Quinn, please ”

[penelopepine]

Forever in Your Gaze Pt. 3

Kyle "Gaz" Garrick x Fem Reader

Part 2 Part 3

Summary: Night at the museum AU. Gaz and Reader are both paintings directly across from one another, and have been in love for many years now. The only thing is that they are unable to actually leave the confines of their canvas, and have never felt others touch.

Word Count: 1236

Content: Established relationship, fluff, light angst

Kyle is so relieved when he sees you again, and he can tell even through the shock you’re elated to see him as well. He whispers your name and puts a hand up next to yours. When you mirror his action the magical barrier still separates the two of you.

"You're here," You take a stuttering breath, "How are you here?"

"I promised that I'd find you, it's just like I said this situation is not going to keep me from you." 

Your eyes are still red along with tear stained cheeks, but you give him the biggest grin, "What did I do to deserve you?" 

"I think the correct question is what did I do to deserve you?" 

The only thing Kyle can think about right now is you, and how much he loves you. Which is why when he hears a cough from behind him he's generally caught off guard. He had completely forgotten that the others were even with him. 

Price comes up to them and pats him on the back and smiles at you, "Well it seems things are going well here then. The lads and I will leave you two here for the rest of the night while we go look into everything a bit more. I'll come and get you later Gaz." With that the three of them leave the area with parting words of hope and comfort.

Silence after that lasts only for a moment before you ask, "What's happening Kyle? I thought I was going to still be near you tonight." 

It took him a bit to reply, pondering to himself about how to explain that in a week you two may never see each other again if they don't come up with a solution. "Shepherd plans to have you shipped to another museum."

Immediately he can see when his words hit you. Your shoulders slump and give a defeated sigh, "So this is it then?" 

"No! No, you're not going anywhere! We're going to figure something out." 

"But what if we don't?"

"We will." He gives you a sad but reassuring smile as he puts his hand to your face. When he does the barrier's sheen shines at his touch. Kyle's face then quickly turns to determination. "Let's get you out of here." 

"What?"

“Well I’m out aren’t I? That means that you can get out too.” Kyle exclaims as he stands to adjust your frame before kneeling down a bit away from you, “All you have to do is push the barrier!” 

You look at him with an apprehensive look as you put both hands on the barrier. “I think more paintings would be out by now if that is all it took.” That being said, you still begin to push against the magic. Kyle watches as the sheen ripples with the contact from your palms. This goes on for several minutes with words of encouragement being thrown your way. 

Alas though you can't seem to escape, no matter how hard you try. Clearly dejected you give one last push before stepping away from it. 

“We’ll keep trying until it works,” He says softly to you, “I’m not giving up just yet.”

"You're right," You take a deep breath, "You're right, we can try again tomorrow."

"Tomorrow." Kyle is now back sitting right in front you. He knows that it's not the same as actually holding you, but he takes your frame and sets you down in his lap. You both continue talking as you normally would with each other. Just trying to enjoy being so close to one another despite both knowing that all this could be coming to an end very soon. 

It's hours later when Price does eventually come back in to collect him, "Gaz, it's time to go lad. We need to get you back on the wall." 

Kyle very reluctantly lets you go, and puts you back whispering sweet reassurances to you. The only thing that he doesn't do is put the sheet back. He refuses to be the one to put you in the dark, and makes Price promise that he wouldn't do so either until the sun was up.

“I’ll see you soon love,” Kyle smiles at you, “It’ll be just a few minutes of us being apart.” 

“I’ll be waiting for you.” You say back putting on a brave face. This is after all the first time you’ve actually said goodbye to one another. With that Price has to practically drag him out of the room otherwise he wouldn’t have wanted to leave your side.

As they walk back to his frame Kyle can’t help but ask, "Price, do you know where she is supposed to be moved too? Is it at least close by?"

"There wasn't an address listed, the only information mentioned was that the deal was made between Shepherd and Phillip Graves. The whole thing doesn't feel right; I'm planning on bringing all of this up with Laswell when she gets in." 

"You think Shepherd is up to something?"

Price gives him a very serious look before saying, "I don't know for sure, but after going through all the files I could find in his office a lot of things aren't adding up. All things considered this deal with Graves shouldn't even be happening with how incorrectly those documents were done." 

Those words brought so much relief to him. If things were really as sketchy as Price described then he knew Laswell would do everything in her power to put a stop to everything happening; with any luck she'll be able to get rid of Shepherd as well. 

The rest of the walk was fairly silent. Kyle watched as others around him slowly moved to their own areas preparing for the morning light to freeze them in place for another day. 

It was very quiet now as the two of them entered the familiar halls once more; all the other paintings eyeing him as he walked past. He's become some kind of social pariah amongst them it seems, but that is not something he is going to worry himself about right now. 

Once Kyle is back to his own frame he takes a few moments to really just look at where he's been his whole life before finally bringing his hands up to the painting. As if the frame was welcoming him home Kyle slides back in very seamlessly. Unlike when he first broke free there is no pain upon re-entering the canvas.

He quickly gets himself back in his proper place once he's fully inside, "Price, can you promise me one thing?"

"What is it? I'll see what I can do, lad."

"Please don't make me wake up not knowing where she is. I know where she is right now, and I don't know if I'll be able to handle having to find her again." 

"She won't be getting moved again Gaz. I won't let you go through this all again."

He nods and gives a relieved huff, "Thank you." 

A mere few minutes after that Price watches as Kyle and everyone around him goes back to being regular paintings. With that he walks out of the hall, and continues with his usual routine. After making sure everything was in place walks back to the lobby's reception desk and waits for Laswell to walk through the door. They're getting to the bottom of this. 

Note: AHHHH CHAPTER 3 IS DONE! I hope everyone is enjoying this story!

Taglist: @zarsghost @nexthyperfix @kaoyamamegami

[backsideattackkkk]

eric veik - small notes

eric veik was a friend of both eric h. and dylan k., he met the two in video production class in august of 1998 (veik is 1 grade under them). harris was in the first hour class with veik, and klebold was in the same class the second hour.

TAKEN FROM VEIK'S TESTIMONY note #1: in veik's written testimony he spells klebold's name wrong. he wrote 'dillion'.

note #2: veik stated that klebold often joined in brainstorming ideas for videos, he additionally stated that klebold would often come by their class during first hour to talk with harris. he makes a mention that klebold was often in their videos because harris "helped him often".

note #3: veik describes their (klebold + harris') video ideas as "brilliant", "outrageous", and "cool". he states in the first video they made harris made comments that were "funny to us".

note #4: veik described the idea of the carwax commercial video "hilarious"

note #5: veik mentions a video harris made on his own

note #6: veik says that harris told how that "a person could learn to make bombs from information on the net", and that "anyone could do it". veik states that he'd never been to klebold's house, but had been to harris' home once for a video project, but never observed any weaponry.

note #7: on april 22nd, veik was interviewed again, he had stated in some point that he was "upset with what the media was saying about harris and klebold" and he had became "very tearful" during his interview.

additional: veik mentions he recognizes what they had done, and that they killed one of his friends. he is talking about rachel joy scott

TAKEN FROM OTHERS TESTIMONIES in an interview with johnathan ungerland, veik had told him he was friends with harris and klebold. he had apparently "stood up in class after the shooting, telling everyone that he knew it was harris and klebold [who had done the attack], because they had finally carried out their big plan".

veik apparently had talked how he worked for the two shooters "exclusively", lastly he mentions how veik was upset about a video that the three of them had made where harris said he wanted to hurt veik.

in an interview taken from devon adams she had laughed when she was asked if veik was part of the trench-coat-mafia, stating that "no, he wanted to be, probably". she mentions that harris and klebold liked him but that veik was "kind of used by them", (she does not elaborate by what she means by this).

additional notes:

veik was involved in handful of videos, these include:

interview with rich long (camera recorder)

CHS high way patrol (he plays the bad guy along with harris)

car wax commercial (believe he is also the recorder)

mock kidnapping (recorder)

eric in columbine (recorder)

hitmen for hire (bullied kid)

radioactive clothing (character named 'tex')

'RNN' fire (veik claims to have filmed this, it seems that dykeman filmed this video. perhaps another version was filmed with veik, or both of them helped somehow. rumor has it, harris filmed a similar video, so it's possible that was the one filmed by veik. the details are unclear.)

taken from an interview on april 21st:

“The first thing I thought is, `Eric and Dylan, why did you do this?’ But also something ran through saying, `You guys finally did it. You did something”.

"They always were the same kind of videos, they always wore trench coats. They always wanted to be the intimidators, the good guys out to get the bad guys."

"I guess yesterday they finally decided not to take any more crap and to get back at people,"

Incident at Chatfield High School

on may 11th, 1999, veik had been reported to authorities due to having "in his possession enough gasoline and flares to blow up chatfield high school."

taken from pg. 10,925-10,927:

"he [veik] said it was about getting a fifty five gallon barrel of gas into the school as a bomb and using a road flare to ignite it. I asked how he would know about anything like this and he said movies. veik said he and nick would brain storm ideas for video's that harris and klebold would use."

veik was investigated for this incident but was not arrested.

Threat to Columbine on Oct. 19, 1999

two articles about veik's arrest: 1, 2

eric veik, was arrested and jailed (with bond set at $500,000) on the night of october 19th on charges of “inciting destruction of life or property, and theft for allegedly stealing a school microphone”.

officials were given word of the student’s plans, which included a diagram of the school and other writings, by a fellow student who had heard him say he would “finish the job” in the wake of the april 20th attack by initiating another shooting.

"He said something recently about how he craves attention, that he'd do pretty much anything to get attention,'' said Mike Casey, a classmate who has worked with the suspect on the school play. "I said, "Not what Eric and Dylan did,' and he kind of laughed and that was the end of that.''

the allegations stemmed in part from a 12-page diary, reportedly found among his possessions at school, that contains threats of violence.

a search of veik's home turned up no weapons or anything else to indicate he intended to follow through on any threats.

"The (guy) I knew was a shy guy who wouldn't resort to violence,'' said Casey. "But the guy in the papers, now in jail, really isn't (him). It's like some other personality of his.''

friends say the teen was reported to school authorities last year, after columbine students had resumed classes at nearby chatfield high school. they say he made some inappropriate remarks about the massacre that were overheard, prompting the district to suggest he not return for the rest of the year.

Some parents had been notified of the arrest Tuesday evening. “He didn’t seem like a kid that would do anything dangerous,” said fellow student Jeffrey DiManna, 18, who was in the video class last year with the boy. DiManna said the teen spent a lot of time with Harris and Klebold. "They sat at the same table in class," he said. "They were always together."

he was held in the jefferson county jail before a judge ordered him moved to a youth detention center. he was put under a suicide watch, county officials said. jefferson county sheriff’s officials said the boy told another student he would “finish the job started by harris and klebold.”

CONCLUSION veik seemed more close to harris than klebold, i have seen two comments made that veik would ride to school with harris, they had the same period of video class together. veik seemed to idolize harris. from veik's perspective, he assumed he was a part of the duo's (harris + klebold) little club against the world. he seemed to also share the frustrations and anger harris and klebold. like harris, he was small in size (shorter than harris, actually) and probably also bullied and considering that many of klebold + harris' associates were picked on simply for hanging out with them. (it probably didn't help that he was always tagging along as the camera man)

however, he didn't get a whole lot of respect with even those he identified with as his friends. (ex: devon laughing at the thought of veik being part of the TCM, and how klebold and harris 'used him'). I get the strong impression that veik really looked up to harris' bold (though fake), anti-hero facade. after all, veik was one year younger, impressionable mind to someone who seems so sure of himself.

veik’s reactions post-massacre read as very bereft and confused, which is probably due to how close he thought he was to the guys and how little he really knew them. he was stunned when the two finally pulled off what they had been inside joking about for some time and of course, right in earshot of veik, who never quite took them seriously just like everyone else - and then one day it happened.

veik became emotional in his testimony, because he was upset, he had lost two friends he thought he understood, he had a hard time processing all of it. he felt completely ditched and betrayed by then and just massively confused and devastated by it all - on some level, he probably wished they would've included him in the plan.

perhaps an angry part of him was sore about it and he thought: we were a team, weren't we?

eventually, he kind of lost it and decided it was his turn to attack the school and finish the job his 'friends' started; he so he went about his mini attack recklessly and haphazardly.  he was angry, bereft and depressed, and so unable to process all of the mixed emotions, that he morphed into a copy cat - attempting to follow in "his friends" footsteps. 

"I think he's just had enough. He lost friends in Eric and Dylan, and another friend in Rachel (Scott, one of the 12 students killed). He took that really hard. Then nobody let him forget it. He had to relive it every day of his life. That's a cruel fate to ask anybody to do.''

[anon-sect]

Picture source: Instagram @madnikemaster

Talex had been known to possess a special transformation ability. He could get into places and get out most times very easily because of his ability. Since being known for such power, he had been sought out by many to do private investigations and to retrieve stollen items. Some had paid him handsomely for his service.

His next job was just like some of the others. Talex was requested to retrieve a valued family trophy that once belong to the client's father. It was stolen from the house by a close friend of the family. The guy denied taking it, but the client knew he had it. Talex was hired to retrieve it, and return it to the rightful owners.

The suspect was hosting a huge party at his house. The client managed to get him an invite to the party so that he could get in and find the valued item. The suspect thought that Talex was a good friend of the client and suspected nothing about his reasons for being at the party.

Talex waited until the party was filled with guests. His client suggested searching his room first while the host was too distracted by the guest. He snuck upstairs to his room and quietly entered in. He closed the door back and began his search. After five minutes of searching, the object wasn't found. He decided he would search another room. Before he could leave, he heard the host approaching. He feared being caught without the object in hand. It would be hard to explain why he was there. He snuck into the closet and shrunk himself down to 5" tall. He climbed into one of the shoes and hid. He heard the host coming towards the closet. Fearing being caught, he merged himself with the insole of the shoe he was in. The Nike sneaker smelled really foul, but it was the best hiding spot, he thought. He would wait till the guy left, then he would leave the room without anyone noticing.

Ryan open his closet and saw the missing shoe he was looking for earlier. "Oh, there you are. May as well put you with your pair, so that I don't have to hunt you down anymore." He took the shoe and placed it in the shoe box with the other one. He put the shoe box in his cloest and placed other heavy objects on top of the box. He retrieved what he came to get and went back down to his party.

Talex could hear his leave, but knew his situation as worse off. The shoe was in a shoe box now. To make it worse, several heavier objects were placed on top of the box. There was no easy way to get out of this situation. Being so confined would prevent him from returning to his normal size. He would just have to wait it out.

TWO DAYS LATER......

Talex finally smelled some similance of fresh air as there was a little day light. He had spent the last two days on the bottom of a stinky sneaker as an insole. But he soon saw his hopes dashed as a white socked foot entered the shoe and pressed down on him. The walking part was a nightmare. Each step brought on waves of pain over and over. Supporting the giant's feet was no walk in the park. He wanted out of the shoe as soon as posssible.

As the time continued on, the sock began to become wet with foot sweat. Foul odor no longer just came for the stench of the old insole and insides of the shoe. Now, the sock was starting to stink as well. Still being so confined, he was forced to remain as an insole under the giant's foot.

Ryan got home from his long day. He took his shoes off and stuffed the rank socks inside each shoe. For some reason, one foot felt so much more comfortable than the other foot. He knew the inssole were slightly worn, but one of the insole just felt more comfort from. He really coulnd't explain why that was so.

Talex thought his opportunity was finally here, only to smell the foul stench sock for the rest of the night. With it stuck in the shoe, he was still trapped as an insole. He mentally wept for his situation. The giant was completely unaware of the torment his foot had done to him the whole day. The constant stepping and and sweeat. He decided on the next morning he would transform back even if he was caught in the act. It was much better than spending anotther day as this guy's insole.

The following morning, the sock was removed. He instantly tried to reform back to human existence, but something was wrong. Every attempt he tried, nothing happened. Over and over, he tried to change back but couldn't. He then realized his fatal mistake. Any form he takes, he must revert back within 24 hours, or he would risk being stuck in that form permanently. He had been an insole for three straight days. Taale realized he was now stuck forever as an insole in the guy's sneaker. This was supposed to be a simple job. Find the trophy and get out with it. This end result was not what he expected.

Ryan inserted an insole in the other sneaker to have an equal level of comfort for his feet. He then put on his sneakers for another long 12 hour work day. He stepped outside his house for the drive to work.

Talex was mentally pleading for a quick death as the previous day's torture started all over again. This was his life to exist as nothing more than an insole for a stranger to crush under his foot for the rest of his life.

[allbark-no-bite]

american boys hate to lose.

jake seresin x reader (wc: 6.2k)

summary: you finally get a taste of Jake Seresin, but you may have bit off more than you can chew

warnings: 18+ smut, heavy sexual themes, lack of use of condoms

author’s note: part 2 of ‘don’t write check you can’t cash’ is here! i would highly recommend reading that before this but do with that what you will. dare i say there will be a part 3?

(you can read part 1 here!)

————————————————————————

You can feel his eyes on you, burning into the back of your head, daring you to turn around and meet his gaze. You haven't so much as looked back in his direction since the training meeting started but you know he's there and you know that he's looking at you.

If you were more reasonable, you'd write it off as the residual heat of the evening seeping in through the window of the ready room being cast upon the back of your neck, warming your skin with it's golden orange hue. Such a feeling would render you lazy and cat-like, content enough to slouch in your chair and soak up the rays until only the ending of the meeting would force you to move from your state of tranquility.

Instead you sit up right in your chair, rigid and uncomfortable as your skin buzzes feverishly.

It's the same scrutinizing feeling that you felt that day out on the tarmac and the same one that you felt as he stood back and watch you play pool at the Hard Deck.

It's ridiculous it what it really is, the fact that you're not grown up enough to just turn around and ask him what the fuck his problem is. He's the one who very clearly laid down the law. He has no right to test your strength to adhere to it.

And tested you he has.

Jake's been at your throat all week. It was almost as though he had decided that he couldn't have you and therefore he would hate you enough to make up for it.

"Had enough, Lieutenant?"

From your limited line of sight—face down in the position of a push-up—all you can see are the scuffed toes of his tan combat boots. He's crouched down on the pavement, balanced on the balls of his feet, leaning down beside you so that he's inches from your ear.

Not yet ready to answer him, all you can do is huff under the strain of your screaming muscles, which are about fifty push-ups past fatigued. You can hear the uncomfortable murmurs of the rest of the Dagger squad watching yours and Jake's show down from a distance.

He'd been a bitch all day. Nagging, nitpicking, critiquing every little thing you did both in and out of the air. Finally, you had had enough.

"I said, have you had enough, Lieutenant!?"

His voice was so familiar and yet utterly foreign in the moment. It caused that twisting feeling in the pit of your stomach to return, the one that you didn't know what to make of. As if you couldn't decided whether you were pleased at his attention or fed up with his attitude.

Gasping, you swallow a glob of spit in your throat, trying to pull yourself together. You're not sure how much longer you can hold this position before you physically collapse. A groan escapes you unwillingly.

"As soon as you say you've had enough, you can get up. Until then, I've got all day."

You could feel the tension in the air between the two of you. It had been building steadily for the entirety of the day and this altercation had appeared to be its breaking point.

You stare at the ground, hoping he will take your silence as an answer.

A part of you was glad that you couldn't see his face and he could't see yours. It's hard to look him in the eyes sometimes.

Bradley must notice your agitation because he cocks you a questioning a brow when you finally catch his eye, having been viciously chewing on your pen into order satiate your frustration whilst listening to Maverick give his brief. You wave off his concern with a dismissive flick of your hand, as if to indicate that it's nothing for him to worry about.

You doubt he's convinced but he doesn't push you any further. If he thought Jake was bothering you, he'd be out of his chair and across the room in a matter of seconds. You don't know how you would explain to him that you haven't been able to forget the press of Jake's body against yours at the pool table or the way his voice dripped down and seeped into your spine even as he yelled at you.

The sound of papers flipping and notebooks closing draw you back to the present.

"You're dismissed. Your report time is at o'six hundred tomorrow," Maverick states, bringing the meeting to a close.

Your eyes dart to the clock mounted on the wall, unaware that the time had eluded you so quickly. You're evidently so distracted that Rooster's already gone by the time you gather up your things. Something about a hot date, he'd said.

Glad to finally escape the tension that is this room, you can already feel the ease flooding back into your body, that prickling feeling of dread and restlessness finally leaving your skin as you reach for the door. Instantly the world feels a little brighter, like maybe you'll even brave the evening traffic just to take the scenic route home, roll your windows down so that you can hear the waves breaking on the beach and smell the salt air.

A voice jerks you from your day dream, and immediately you're reminded of just the reason for your foul mood.

"You know, you're a bigger thorn in my side than I thought you were going to be."

You stop just outside the doorframe and the door swings shut. There's no one but the two of you left in the room.

"Is that your way of saying that you're not used to people not letting you push them around?

"I'm saying most people don't enjoy being yelled at."

His green eyes twinkle and his mouth pulls into a smirk that dares you to challenge his statement.

You swallow the spit in your throat, biting your tongue because you know that your argument won't come out convincing enough.

"You were being a bitch," you say instead.

"You wanted me to be."

"That's all I can seem to get from you."

Rather than the snarky reply that you've already braced yourself for, Jake takes two steps towards you and immediately you shuffle backwards, meeting the wall in the process. With nowhere to go, you have no choice but to remain trapped between him and the wall of the room.

Now cornered, he is dangerously close.

A sharp but smokey musk stings your sinuses— one that will become synonymous to you with his presence. The stench of jet fuel makes you lightheaded for just a moment before you snap back to the present.

His sharp green eyes narrow down at you. Your face feels hot under his gaze. Eye contact is becoming a common theme for the two of you. You can't look away.

He is close. Very close. In retrospect, he has never had any concept of personal space. Since the day you met Jake, you have always been somewhat off-put if not startled by his forwardness. The way he had reached out to correct your posture at the pool table without prior warning nor consent had nearly killed you.

He was going to kill you.

Hardly breathing, you take him in with a certain clarity. You haven't been able to put your finger on it, but his face has a certain rawness to it — a natural ruddiness that you can't explain. The waterlines of his green eyes are invariably tinged a pale pink, likely permanently wind burnt, and his nose is always a touch red. Early traces of crows feet pull at the corners of his usually hooded green eyes. Speaking of, now you realize they're not even all that green. The soft golden tint becomes apparent looking into his eyes. If it weren't for their undeniable vibrance, maybe you would be able to breathe right now.

Your attention falls down to his plump pink lips. And maybe those. They shine with a particular wetness, and your cheeks burn with the thought.

His hand lifts from his side and immediately your eyes fly back up to meet his gaze, praying he hasn't caught you staring. Instead he curls his fingers into the side of your jaw and stares at you with that infuriatingly unreadable expression on his face. You wish that for just once in his life he'd express some sort of overt emotion. He doesn't speak, and all you can do is swallow against the press of his thumb.

Your mouth parts slightly, attempting to speak, to say something —anything to alleviate the silence— but nothing escapes besides a noiseless breath of air.

Jake dips his head down timidly, as though he's testing the waters.

Unable to comprehend what he's doing, your first reflex is to replenish the distance between you, and your head jerks backwards. However, it is forced to come to a stop when it hits the wall a millisecond later.

Jake pauses, mouth inches from yours.

Despite the panic that is threatening to take control of you, telling you to push him away, to tell him to stop because this is entirely wrong, you do nothing but stand frozen. Your heart is in your throat, pounding hard enough to stall your breath.

I want this if you want this, but not if you don't, you want to tell him. I will find a way to go on if you don't.

The muscles in his jaw clench, like he's trying hard to make up his mind.

And then without warning, his mouth captures your lips in a hard kiss, driving them open with the force of it. Gone is his previous hesitation. He is voracious; all tongue and teeth. You swear you feel the wall rattle against your back as he pushes you against it.

The thought that anyone could walk in at any moment hardly even flashes through your mind. All there is is the bruising force of his mouth on yours, pulling you further and further into the inescapable depths of desire.

Your hand finds the short crop of his blonde hair and fists into it, tugging roughly on the golden strands. It makes him grunt, the noise muffled by the press of his lips against yours. Jake's hands find your hips, his fingers tearing at the fabric of your flight suit to bring you closer to his body.

When your lips part to breathe, he licks into your mouth, tongue dragging along the slick of your teeth just so that he can taste you. Like he's been just as desperate to taste you as you've been. One of his hands finds the length of your throat and wraps around it, using his thumb to tip your jaw back up so that he can capture your lips in another bruising kiss.

Your need for air forces you to place a hand on his chest, pushing him away hard enough that he gets the hint. It takes more force than it should, and Jake pulls away, breathing hard.

As your senses come back to you, so does your common sense, and all you can think is: there's no way that just happened.

The sight of his flushed cheeks, blown pupils, and swollen, spit slick lips is what kicks you into gear. Anyone could walk in here at any moment. You can't even begin to explain how bad of a situation that could be.

"We should go," you breathe, heart still pounding in your chest.

Rather than pulling away, Jake lingers, hovering over you. "Go where?" he hums. "I've got you right where I want you." His mouth dips down to the barely exposed part of your collar. You swallow thickly as his mouth moves up to your neck, lip pressing to your exposed throat.

"Really," you stress, a bit desperately, your eyes darting to the closed door as he kisses up your neck. "We can't stay here."

To your immense relief, Jake finally pulls away.

"Okay," he agrees, a bit too easily. "I'll bring you home."

——

The car ride is strange but not uncomfortable. Strange because you keep looking over to your left and Jake is sitting there, one hand on the wheel, aviators perched on his nose as he watches the road. Strange because he doesn't ask you for directions, just drives in comfortable silence, the radio turned low enough that you can still hear the gulls squawking as you drive by the beach.

You turn to look at him as he pulls the truck to a stop and reaches for the keys to turn off the ignition. He's smiling and doing a poor job of concealing it.

"I didn't invite you in," you inform him, although your voice doesn't sound too firm in the statement. You'd been so sure that you wanted this back when he was kissing you, but now that the aftermath of your decision is playing out, you're nervous you're making a mistake.

You'd known that anything involving Jake was a risky game from day one. Between his looks and the all-American southern boy charm, it was a dangerous combination. There's a difference between wanting the idea of something and actually having it.

Jake just huffs, his smile still nonchalant as he looks over at you. "I can't walk you to the door?"

You can feel your stomach twisting again. "I suppose."

Your fingers feel numb and tingly as you push the key into the lock on the door and twist, your heart a bit in your throat because you're all to aware of Jake standing less than a foot behind you. It takes you a few shaky tries but the door finally cracks open.

Realizing that you can't avoid the inevitable any longer, you turn back around to face Jake. He's leant against the side of the doorframe, arms crossed in front of his chest and looking not at all like he isn't supposed to be here.

You stare and him and he stares back at you.

Without a word, he steps forward, into your space, and leans down with the intention to kiss you. Your stomach twists tighter than it was before. You turn your head before he can kiss you, and you feel his lips brush your cheek. 

"You can come inside. I- I just need a moment," you confess. "Maybe a glass of wine or two."

Jake chuckles as he draws away, giving you the space that you silently asked for, and for that you're grateful. 

"Okay," he concedes. "Lead the way, then."Once inside, you set your things down and escape for the moment of space that you need to clear your head under the pretense of needing a shower. It's not totally untrue. The day had been busy, more so than usual, and you were still sticky with sweat. You leave Jake in the kitchen to find the wine on his own.

While the tub fills, you're finally able to rid yourself of the clothes that you have been donning since the day began at roughly 6 am. Though you're usually a shower person, you've learned a bath is the most effective way get rid of the stress of the day.

The scalding water welcomes you and a sigh escapes your mouth when you sink down to your shoulders. The basin is deep enough that it could fit two people comfortably. You unpleasantly note that that's a thought you've never had until now.

The steam releases the tension from your shoulders and eases your persistent headache. Although you are well aware that Jake is just a few rooms away in the kitchen, the urge to close your eyes and sink in is too much to resist.

He had leaned in first. Backed you against the wall of his office and hovered inches from your face. There had been an out. It was brief, but it had been there. And you just stood there, barely breathing, watching him. You had seen the gun in his hands and willed him to use it.

His mouth was just as hot and demanding as you had come to know him. You remember breathing in and all you could smell was him, feel his hand on your jaw, his fingers digging into your skin. He had been the one to pull away, although just barely, and hovered inches from your face once again.

Being so close to him, it was the first time you had noticed the gold in his jade green eyes. From a distance, they were a stark green, but your new found proximity told a different story. You have not been able to see them as anything other than that obscure green ever since.

You break the water's surface and draw in a deep breath, smoothing your wet hair away from your face.

"I was beginning to think you weren't going to come back up." Jake is leaning against the open door frame, his arms crossed in front of his chest.

You hum, blinking the dripping water away. "Sorry," you murmur, although you don't know what you're apologizing for. He could do that, draw apologies from your mouth even when you had done nothing worthy of forgiveness.

He sighs and moves across the bathroom with languid familiarity, and you have to remind yourself that this is real. It is a strange concept to grasp, seeing him here, in your house. It's surreal to you, the thought that he exists beyond the base and is so domestic.

"Wasn't looking for an apology, kid. Just came to bring you some wine." He produces a glass that you failed to notice originally and sets it on the ground next to him, crouching down beside the tub. One of his hands dips in to swirl the water with the tip of his finger.

Though he doesn't stare, you are keenly aware that he can surely see more than just your naked shoulders through the clear bath water. Strangely, you don't flush at the thought.

His chin comes to rest on the edge of the tub, and his green eyes watch you with a curious guile. It is a look that you have come to enjoy for its fleeting but ensuring familiarity.

You sink back into the tub, feeling the tickle of the water as it laps at the nape of your neck. "You just wanted an excuse to look."

The corner of his mouth quirks faintly upwards. "I'll take what I can get."

As you watch each other, you come to the realization that you could want this. This moment. This life. Him.

For a glimmer of a second, you see yourself making dinner, a green eyed toddler balanced on your hip. The dog he didn't want barks at the front door as his truck pulls into the driveway. He finally walks into the kitchen after a long day in the air and wraps himself around you from behind—

Jake wiggles his fingers in the water, disrupting the calm surface of it.

"Get in," you invite him. It's a well intended, genuine proposition, and one you see no problem with. After your breach of professionalism in the hangar, sharing a bath seemed to rank decently low on the scale of scandal.

"No," he huffs, dismissing the idea, but his eyes twinkle, at least humoring you in his refusal.

Not allowing yourself the be disappointed with his answer, you let your cheek rest against the rim of the tub with a wistful smile. "Should I get out then?"

His fingers brush the inside of your knee and ghost down your calf. "No," he says again. "I like you like this."

Naked. Exposed. Relenting.

You smile at each other with your lips pressed together to convey what the two of you won't say out loud. Something inside you knows he won't be this way tomorrow. He won't share this same look with you, won't be this gentle or tangible again.

His hand curls around your ankle, his thumb working into a particularly tender spot. You wince, a hiss escaping through your teeth as you refrain from jerking your foot away from his digging fingers. It hurts at first, the rough massaging of his fingers into the muscle, but the discomfort dissipates when he draws your foot up and places a delicate kiss to the arch. You feel your cheeks warm. His green eyes linger on you.

"We should talk," you murmur softly.

"About?" he hums coyly, pressing another tender kiss to your ankle. The hot trail of his lips lingers on your skin.

Getting him to talk has been like pulling teeth, and it's obvious that's not about to change now.

As much as you want to remain here with his lips pressed to your skin for forever, you sit up in the water to face him, and he pliantly releases your ankle back into the bath. Without saying anything, you lean forward and search his eyes for any sort of sign of what all this is about, wondering if it's some sort of sick joke and he's just fucking around with you.

His green eyes do nothing but watch you keenly, his eyebrow quirking as he stares back at you. What exactly you're looking for, you don't know. You want to ask him what the hell you're doing here, sitting in your bathroom, too close to be considered professional, but all you can do is stare and listen to the sound of his breathing.

Your bodies have drifted closer to each other during the process, only separated by the rim of the bathtub. Your faces mere inches from each other, he tips his chin up and your noses brush. You can feel the hovering warmth of his lips over your own. The exhale that escapes you is shaky and surely he hears it. Jake's gaze dips to your parted lips and then flickers back up. With more care than you would have imagined him capable of, he presses his mouth to yours.

This kiss is more hesitant than the first, softer and more timid than anything. His lips are pillowy, and you have to shove down the urge to take the plump pout of his bottom lip between your teeth. A wanting ache pools into your stomach. It is the second time that you've known the hot pulse of his mouth and basked in the taste of him.

All too soon, he pulls away, but nevertheless, you're breathless, still trying to comprehend it all. There are a lot of conflicting emotions racing through you, and you're not sure of which ones to trust. A part of you knows this isn't right. He's both a coworker and a friend — not to mention nearly ten years your senior.

But he's smiling at you with those beguiling green eyes, and you're learning that very little matters when he looks at you like that.

The towel you wrap around yourself serves little purpose because as soon as you step out of the tub, Jake is crowding you out of the bathroom and into the bedroom.

He pays little heed to your insistence that he'll slip on the wet floor in his socks, instead choosing to kiss along your bare shoulder, mindless to where you're going. The two of you hit the wall before you make it anywhere else so he traps your body with his and connects your lips again.

He licks into your mouth, tasting you with an assured vigor. Using the leverage of your position against the wall, the next kiss is harder, trapping you between his body and the plaster. You have to remind yourself to keep hold of the towel around you. You free hand curls around his head to grasp onto what is left of his cropped hair. It is soft and downy between your fingers.

His teeth catch hold of your bottom lip, and he sucks on it gently, causing you to exhale shakily, dizzy with his taste. When he releases it, there is hardly enough time for you to breathe before his mouth captures yours again.

The lack of space between you creates an air that is suffocatingly hot and needy. Your lips feel swollen and slick with spit. He nips at the tender skin, and this time you whimper.

Jake pulls away when you lean forward to chase his lips again. His hands go to his shirt, pulling it over his head with one forceful tug. The flesh of his torso slides over muscle with the effort. His pants go next.

It is the first time that you see him naked. The first time you see him in anything other than a clean cut, military issued uniform, an image so conventionalized in your mind that it had become impossible to imagine him any other way. It is a type of unearthing for you, because you realize he's not unlike what you expected him to be.

Like his cheeks, his broad shoulders are tan and golden, even darker in comparison to his sun brazen complexion. The handles of his hips fade into large quads, tense with muscle. He's full, as one would think a man should be, his muscles swollen to the point that it looks skin splitting. It is foreign to you, his sturdiness, barren of boyhood.

Your towel goes next, and it falls to the ground at your feet, abandoned on the bedroom floor. Then he's kissing you again, your mouths raw and wet from tasting each other. The only breath you can suck in is his own.

As if he can sense your building headiness, Jake eases up a bit, connecting a few relatively tame pecks to your lips. Doing so, he grins against your mouth. Your eyes are closed but you can imagine the confident, all too relaxed look on his face as he says it.

"Just let go."

You have never been good at opening up, something past boyfriends have begged you — tears dripping down faces in college dorms — to do. You grew up alone, in a normal sized house with regular parents who fought enough to talk about divorce but never enough to do it. And so when you get scared, the nervous tendencies and self preservation that you learned as a child take over. Like a dog who learned not to trust a man's raised hand. Always ready to bite. Always on guard with your chest heaving wide and teeth bared.

He hovers, as if knowing not to push you. You are the same in that way, in your astuteness for each other. It was as if you knew each other without trying. His fingers smooth along the ridges of your spine. Pressed against his body, you linger indulgently at the hollow of his throat. His skin smells salty and raw, unsullied by the usual cleanly redolence of woody soap and washing detergent.

The thought occurs your to again.

I could want this.

It feels good if nothing else.

You unclench your jaw and become nothing beneath him.

Jake pushes you back until you're laying flat against the bed, and you have almost completely reversed positions. He follows, taunt muscles moving fluidly under bronze skin as he crawls over you. Wanting him closer, your legs hook around his waist, pressing his hips into your own. You can feel him harden at the contact.

There's no teasing, no rough foreplay, no biting remarks. He explores your body at his own pace, his large calloused hands pawing at the swell of your breasts before sliding down to squeeze firmly at the muscle of your ass.

The drag of his thigh against your clit is enough to draw a gasp from you, and he grins against your skin. Jake kisses along your chest, tongue teasing up the valley of your breasts while you grind your hips up into him.

A desperate whine slips out of your throat when he lifts his head. He moves up on the bed and plants a chaste kiss to your lips to quiet you. Then he pulls away again, face hovering over yours. His green eyes are bright, returning a sort of youthful gleam to his face.

"What?" he inquires, asking in the manner of someone who already knew the answer before they spoke.

"Want to feel you."

He hums, hand slipping under your hips to press them up into his own. The hard—hot—outline of his cock twitches against your bare skin. "You can feel me plenty."

He waits for the answer that he wants.

"Want to feel you inside me."

Grinning, he mocks an 'ahh' of understanding before leaning back to dig in his dresser, supposedly for a condom. For a glimmer of a moment, you lay back and marvel at the sheer size of him—the thick build of his shoulders, the hulking mass of his thighs, the size of his hard cock.

Catching onto your staring, Jake pulls a smirk that says he's pleased with having caught you doing so. Humility has never been a characteristic that you would have attached to Jake, and perhaps it was his resulting confidence that made his lack of the virtue so forgivable.

You wave him off when he comes up from the dresser empty handed. You'd take a plan B in the morning if you had too. He raises a brow, mouth quirking at your disregard but doesn't comment on it.

Jake crawls back over you and teases the tip of his flushed cock at your entrance just to hear you whine before sliding in. His size is by no means deceiving. The stretch of him stings. Jake quiets your grunt of discomfort by pressing his mouth to yours, tongue entangling with your own.

Your fingers dig into the hard muscle of his back, nails leaving half moons in his skin. His breath fans over your face, nose brushing yours as he hovers, waiting.

"Relax," he murmurs, one of his large palms rubbing up the tense muscle of your side. He can feel the tension beneath your skin, quivering with anticipation.

"Move, Jake," you pant from between your clenched teeth.

"Relax," he repeats, sterner. The tone of his voice tells you that he's not going to move until you do.

Huffing, you will your spine to loosen, try to let go of the tension in your hips. It's hard to concentrate when all you can feel is the splitting stretch of his pulsing cock inside of you, but you manage to relax enough that the clench of your knees isn't so tight around his hips.

"Atta girl."

Gently, as not to move too suddenly, Jake rocks his body into yours, hips rolling against your own. You close your eyes and breathe him in. Like a match being struck, the movement ignites a spark in your abdomen. The tone of your whines change from discomfort to pleasure as he continues to rock his hips.

"Fuck," he groans. "You're tight. But takin' me so well."

Face tucked into his neck, mouth pressed to his ear, all that comes out is a moan in response.

Jake's hand glides down your side, blunt fingers bumping over the ridges of your ribs and across your hip. His palm smooths over the curve of your ass, hand cupping the underside of your thigh and hiking it up without warning. The change in angle allows him to sink deeper into your, hitting a spongey spot that has you mewling.

Your fingers dig into the flesh of his shoulder, nails digging crescents that are sure to draw blood. The breath that escaped him is sharp. He grits his teeth, mouth pressed to your throat as he sponges kisses to your skin.

Something tells you he likes it, the pain. Not necessarily in a masochistic way, his psych exams would never let him get away with that. But you suspect it's more of a reminder that he's human. You know for you it is.

You know that your time is not unlimited and despite that fact that you're good at what you do, your role as a fighter pilot has an expiration date. The average time spent in the field is ten years, and even then most didn't stay in that long. These days, every mission you come back from is a miracle. Eventually you run out of those.

Jake's palm that isn't supporting your thigh slides back up your ribs until his fingers find yours link them, and bring them above your head. The position stretches the expanse of your body out across the bed, exposing you entirely to him. Jake abandons the crease of your neck to suck a bruise to the underside of your breast, a spot he knows will be hidden by your bra should anyone care to look. The laving of his tongue along your nipple sends a shiver down your spine.

Between the rocking of his cock inside you and the attention he's paying to your breasts, you reach your breaking point. You squirm beneath him, walls clenching around his cock as you come. The orgasm travels all the way down to your toes and has you curling them into the mattress.

Jake isn't far behind you. He comes without warning, without asking in or out. You feel it when he releases inside of you, hot and overwhelming. You close your eyes, your head falling back against the mattress as he pulls out. Your used cunt clenches around nothing, already missing his absence. With your heart beating fast inside of your chest, you're grateful that the fan had already been turned on in your bedroom. It helps to cool your flushed cheeks.

Somewhere to your side, you feel the mattress dip and Jake rolls off to lay beside you. He says something but the words are nothing but noise in the back of your fuzzy head. You know you need to clean yourself up, get up and brush your teeth, but you're suddenly more tired than you've ever been in your entire life. Five minutes just to close your eyes won't hurt.

——

You wake up with a start hours later. At first you're confused. The bedroom is oddly bright and your alarm hasn't yet gone off. The sight of Jake tangled in your sheets, snoring occasionally beside you brings it all back.

The soft glow of the lamp on the bedside table swallows his body in a golden brown hue. He's faced towards you on his side, one arm tucked under his head, the other cupping the underside of your thigh, which is slung over his hip. Wide awake beside him, you use the opportunity to observe his face freely.

A faint smattering of freckles that look more like sun damage than anything hide behind his tanned complexion. They creep down the bridge of his nose and across his strong cheekbones, hardly noticeable unless you were to really look.

His fair hair and blonde lashes make you think that he was probably even blonder in his younger years. His lips match the flush of his cheeks, a dusty rose color with a plumpness that most girls usually spend good money trying to achieve.

But as the glorious post-sex haze fades away, so does your blissful negligence. You have a training meeting in an hour, and yet here you are, sleeping in the bed with a man that you barely even know.

You should go, get up before he does so that you're not leaving for the meeting at the same time.

Shifting across the mattress proves to be a relatively easy task. Jake barley moves an inch as you slip from his grasp, the mattress creaking just slightly beneath you. It's when your feet hit the cold floor that the latest problem presents itself.

Lukewarm liquid escapes down your thighs, creating a trail of creamy liquid down your bare legs. A recap of the night's events plays through your head. You didn't use a condom.

"Fuck me," you curse quietly, rushing toward the bathroom as best you can with semen dripping down you legs. You awkwardly step into the shower and rise yourself off, already making plans to buy a Plan B as soon as you can. Nothing will be open this early so you'll have to go after the meeting.

You creep back into the bedroom in search of your uniform. To your dismay, Jake turns over as you tiptoe across the room. After a moment, he sits up slightly, watching as you yank on your clothes from last night. They're rumpled from spending the night on the floor, but you've shown up for work in much worse condition. Jake hasn't said a word.

When you reach for the door, he's still watching you. For a second you panic, wondering if you're supposed to kiss him goodbye or at least say something as you leave.

If he's expecting you to and you don't, you set a clear boundary to whatever is going on between you. If he's not and you do, it could be the last time you see him inside your bedroom.

Before you can think twice, you mutter a goodbye and dart out the door.

[tranzjen]

🩷🩵🤍 5 Days Until my Surgery 🤍🩵🩷

(Picture taken September 1, 2022)

I'm very very excited for my surgery (it's my second gender affirming surgery but this one is more significant to me since it'll be top and bottom surgery) and I'm obviously counting the days until it and I thought some people might be interested in my trans journey 🏳️‍⚧️ So see part 6 below the cut.

Part 1 here

Me and my partner got back together and got a place together and we still live in this apartment together 🥰 I also worked at worked at a local amusement park over the summer that had some fun but mostly was horrible due to angry customers that kept misgendering me and kids making fun of me 🙃 But also I'll say I had one of my most euphoric moment when this little girl pointed to her winged eyeliner and said "you're just like me!" Bc I also had winged eyeliner at the time 🥰

(Picture taken June 6th, 2022)

Also, if the last Era was the peak of my egirl era on twitter than this was the fall of my egirl era 📉

I remember reaching 10k followers and thinking "ok I have enough of a following to try to make money off this." It's what a lot of egirls on there did and as I stated above, I hated my job. I thought briefly about streaming and YouTube but I don't really have the personality for streaming and was too self-conscious of my voice to do YouTube. And there were a lot of sex workers on twitter that I knew, followed, and admired. And there was quite the market for trans sexual content. Also I wanted to basically be paid to look pretty all day 🤷‍♀️ So, I made a OnlyFans account and started promoting it.

(Picture taken May 9th, 2022)

And I quickly got shadow banned for it 😂 And frankly, I wasn't really meant for sex work. I'm not really a sexual person. I do enjoy sexual acts but doing them for money killed my drive for it. I made a few hundred dollars but I didn't make enough content for it to keep it up.

Also, the shadow banned revealed how unhealthy my relationship with Twitter was. My self worth would be highly dependent on how well my posts did that day (I was still posting pictures daily). And I was hypercritical of my picture quality and my physical features. And developed a bad habit of comparing myself to girls I considered prettier than me. And with the constant misgendering from work, I was at a big low 🥲

(Picture taken September 17th, 2022)

I remember this was when there was first talk about Elon buying Twitter and I was looking for an alternative and well... ended up here.

(Picture taken June 2nd, 2022)

I remember the idea between this pic was clothes and accessories that weren't explicitly queer but gave queer vibes.

Also talking about queerness, I also participated in a Drag Show! I played a mushroom fairy!

(Picture taken August 13th, 2022)

It was organized by this local queer nonprofit that did a lot in the community and was already a big part of my life but would become a bigger part of my life.

Also this was when I was done with the curly girl method. And I like how my hair looks like this and it's easier 🤷‍♀️

(Picture taken September 4th, 2022)

Also love how often I get used out of this mushroom beret 😁🍄😁 (which is why I have 2 pics with it on this post lol)

Also an update on my love life at this time. I at one point had 4 partners very briefly and was part of a polycule over over 22 people. I remember one of my metamours made a chart showing all the relationships and it was complicated 😅 Also it was mostly online. Like 2 of my partners were long distance relationships.

(Picture taken Oct 2nd, 2022)

Around my 23rd birthday, I decided to do what was best for my mental health and quit twitter. But I had two last pictures because I got them from some followers who bought me things from my Amazon wishlist I made for my birthday.

(Picture taken October 29, 2022)

This one would be useful for the next era. And you can see a small part of my large collection of plushies (which I have a project in mind for 👀)

(Picture taken on November 8th, 2022)

And this was the last picture I posted on Twitter before quitting at 36k followers. I had already stopped posting on it for awhile so you can imagine my surprise when I got a big pink teddy bear 😱 And for all the work I put into that account, I consider this a pretty good prize 🧸💕

I consider Tumblr my last attempt with having a healthy relationship with social media. If this account goes away, I'll probably be done with Social Media 🤷‍♀️ I think I'm getting better at breaking those bad habits I developed on Twitter while still trying to enjoy the art of dressing up and taking selfies. But, I don't know if I'll ever have the drive for it like I did during my twitter days.

With my summer job ending and twitter as a way to make a living out of the window you may be concerned with how I recovered but I got really lucky and I'll go into detail on that tomorrow 😁