#there was also like the convo between the 3 of them about becoming normal girls when this is over | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

mxtcha-tea · 4 years

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and that's how i met you mother

✎desc; love at first sight with shiratorizawa (honestly, not all of them are love at first sight but ignore that)

✎pairing[s]; shiratorizawa 3rd years x f!reader (separate)

✎genre; fluff, crack

✎language[s]; english

✎chef note; just an excuse for me to write lovesick boys💗 (I can’t do Shirabu, Kawanishi and Goshiki’s part cause I ran out of ideas🤸‍♀️🚆)

Ushijima

It would just be a normal day in his class, learning and stuff like usual

Then after the teacher finished explaining and hand out the tasks, he'll went through his pencil case and couldn't seem to find any pen

Ushijima frowned at that and looked throughly in his pencil case but with no luck, there's none

He swore that he had put some inside, maybe his mind slipped a little?

A tap on his shoulder caught his attention as he turned his head around to make eye contact with you

You're holding out one of your pen to him with a neutral look,

"You can have it," Ushijima look at you surprised, does that mean he can just take it from you? That's a little absurd

But he didn't question it and nodded, slowly taking the pen from your hand and continue studying

The pen doesn't really sit right in his hand, it's not being his and literally someone else that he doesn't have the chance to talk to

He'll spare a glance at you every minute (ngl, he's complimenting your side view internally)

And when you caught him looking at him, he'll just blink and slowly look back at his work with a light blush on his cheeks

(Istg it's so cute)

After the class ends and before you can leave for lunch, Ushijima caught your attention first,

"Here, thank you for lending me this. And unfortunately, i can't take it from you"

You're just looking at him with a dumbfounded look before taking the pen from him,

"Ah, no problem, um..." "Ushijima Wakatoshi"

You nodded at that, scratching the back of your head "...Ushijima. And it's [y/n]"

Both of you are just standing there in front of each other but it's not awkward, surprisingly

It's as if you two are waiting for one of you to speak and end the convo

(Spoiler alert; none of you wanted to end the convo since both of you find each other interesting)

You cleared your throat, fiddling with your pen a little, "Okay, see you after this, Ushijima"

He nodded at that and with that, both of you went to your separate ways

'[Y/N], YOU AWKWARD BASTARD! THAT WAS SO EMBARRASSING, I BET HE THOUGHT THAT YOU'RE WEIRD NOW!'

Ushijima's just walking towards the gym with a fairly visible blush across his cheeks as he look down

"Ushijima..."

"[y/n]..."

"I guess he's fine..."

"I guess she's fine..."

Ushijima Current Mission!

Trying to figure what other scenarios he can drag you in to have a convo with you again

Good luck Wakatoshi~!

Tendou

You and Tendou have talked with eachother a couple of times but it's nothing more than that

And Tendou actually want to talk more with you (at first for friendship points but y'know...)

Today, you look more beautiful than ever to him today

It's not like you're not beautiful every other day (he thinks you're pretty so that's why he kept on having a convo with you)

And he caught into that

Somehow, he can't help bet stare at you in a distance and he tried his best to avoid getting caught

(Tendou's scared that you find him creepy for looking at you all the time and he don't want that thought to flood you mind)

Then, you came to him to explain about the work your science teacher gave since she's absent for the time being

And you can bet that he doesn't hear a single thing you said because he's too focused on yourself

It's kinda like in those scenes in manga where the main character stare into the main interest

The main interest looking as beautiful as ever with flowers around them

Pretty eyes, angelic face, kissable lips

For him, you're perfect and he even thought that you might be an angel in disguise

No matter how you even see yourself, he would always think that you're fascinating, adorable, enticing—

"Tendou, are you okay?"

The redhead snapped out from his thought and got caught by you

By now, his face is literally mocking his hair color as he chuckled nervously,

"Ah, I'm fine! It's just that..."

He was about to stop mid sentences but thankfully he still got that crumbs of courage and just goes with it,

"...you look pretty today,"

Tendou said with a closed eyes smile, peeking an eye open and trying to see your reaction (ngl he's nervous)

You blinked

Before you literally exploded at that which is what make him surprised in his seat

You fake coughed, looking away and avoiding eye contact,

"Thanks...."

[love meter +10!]

If this is an actual manga or anime, there could've been hearts dancing around him

Timeskip to Tendou at his home and squealing quietly to himself (he can't let his family hear him fanboying for someone in his school lmao)

"We're totally going to marry 3 years from now on~" he says to himself in the mirror with so many confidence

(I just love it when Tendou act like that, let him have his moment)

"Haha, thank you gods for creating me and [y/n] in the same world,"

Tendou's Current Mission!

Getting to know you better and give tons and tons of compliments, just like in the simulations! Specifically otomes and dating games

Try your best Satori~!

Semi

It was another day, another practice session

Except that it went longer than Semi expected, he managed to run from the gym to the main entrance

But before he can even put on his shoes, heavy rain started pouring down

He look at the dark grey sky, resting his forehead onto the shoe locker with one shoe already in his foot while the other in his hand

Sighing, Semi thought about asking to come with Tendou and Yamagata since he didn't bring his umbrella

But on second thought, he realized that they prolly forgot theirs too

And all 3 of them have to run under the rain again like last time

Yamagata and Tendou: "We can avoid the rain if we're fast enough!"

He shivered at that their words and the thought of getting terribly sick again

And before Semi's brain can process a strategy for himself, he was caught off guard when an umbrella was opened next to him,

"Ah sorry,"

In those few seconds, everything went slow motion when your eyes catches his

(He swore it felt like in the anime)

He can feel his cheeks flushing a little but thanks to the wheater, it's not obvious

"Hello?" Semi snapped from his thoughts, shaking his head before focusing on you again,

"Sorry, sorry, um—" "You don't have an umbrella?"

He blinked, shaking his head slightly

It's a pretty peaceful staring between you two with the rain hitting the ground as background sounds

Until you lift your umbrella up, and pointed at the small spot next to you with your thumb,

"Here, I'll help you,"

"Eh?"

Semi was flabbergasted a little at your statement but would he decline it?

Of course not,

"Just tell me where your house is then I help you go there,"

And that's how he find himself back at his house's entrance with you in front of him,

"And that's why I just let you walk with me for the afternoon,"

"Is that so, oh wait! I haven't known your name, and you prolly haven't known my name either..."

He scratched the back of his neck before looking at you with a smile,

"The name's Semi Eita, thanks for the walk back home,"

Your lips parted a little before in turns into a tooth rotting smile,

"[y/n], no problem and thanks for the company, Eita,"

An arrow pierced through his heart as his face is literally the color of Tendou's hair

And just like that, you left him on the entrance with a funny expression upon his face

Cutting the scene to Semi punching his pillow (rip pillow)

"You already caught me off guard already but you really had to look at me like that...."

Semi's Current Mission!

Try to find you the next day after first period and try not to be awkward with you and his convo after the eventful day

You can do it Eita~!

Yamagata

Let's just say that,

Yamagata went through the late anime girl scenario

But with his toast falling down from his mouth while running towards his school

And his stamina almost running low despite being a volleyball player and a libero

(His house's prolly far from his school, cut him some slacks sheesh)

He's pretty much stumbling a lot when he enters the school and speed walking up the stairs

Some of the students look at him weirdly but that doesn't become his main concern because a strict teacher is going first

Yamagata's almost there, almost reaching his classroom's door

But god had other plans and place an invisible rock in front of him

And as you can tell, he slipped on it and now facepalming the floor

(The sound is so loud my lord)

He groaned, shaking a little while trying to sit up from his position

The male look up and is now face to face with you, who's looking down at him

Okay he might be delusional from the impact but is he actually looking at an angel right now?

"Dude, you okay? That's gotta hurt from the sound that it made—"

Your words drowned inside his mind as he widened his eyes with pink tints decorating his cheeks

'This...THIS IS IT!'

"—also I think your nose is bleed—"

"PLEASE MARRY ME!!"

You flinched at that but keep a calm face, a little bit concerned that he may hit his head too hard

While Yamagata is just having heart eyes for you, sparkles around him after saying those words almost too confidently

He doesn't know what's in him that make him think that you're the one,

But he definitely can feel it

You sighed, crouching down while searching through your pocket and pulling out a small pack of tissues,

"I think we're going so fast right now but no, maybe 5 years later or never,"

"Does that mean you agree??"

"I don't know, you're handsome but also stupid, a himbo I think,"

You wipe away the blood dripping down his nose, taking his arm, opening it and put the bloodied tissue on it before closing it, giving a light tap,

"Now go to the nurse office,"

"Will you be there for me?"

"No,"

You help him stand up, dusting his shoulder and walk away as if nothing happened

Yamagata watches you from the distance with a lovesick smile

Tendou laughed behind him with Ushijima and Reon next to him and Semi looking at Yamagata, confused,

"Hayato, I have no idea if you had your alarm on but you just came to school during recess,"

"She's perfect...also, I think I need to go to the nurse right now cause my head hurts,"

Yamagata's Current Mission!

Marry [y/n]

Have fun, Hayato~!

Reon

(He will have the best love at first sight cause I say so)

It was the school festival and it's lively in every corner of the school, the outside, inside the classrooms, even the hallways

Reon had just finished his part of his classroom and now can walk around to enjoy the festival

Honestly, it's a pretty normal day to him despite being the school's festival

The students of Shiratorizawa has always been this lively so it's good that they can be keep the atmosphere as how it is like any other days

Since the others are still working on their parts, Reon was all by himself

Sure, the quiet sounds without Tendou, Semi and Yamagata is fine but he prefer it being loud anyway

A short of way to fill in the boring silence

But what's the bad thing to enjoy the peace once in a while?

So he take a small walk outside the Shiratorizawa building

Stalls decorated the outside with students busy serving the customers

He was greeted by some of them as he greeted them back with a warm smile

Hands inside his pocket while looking at the sky every few seconds

Baby blue sky with fluffy white clouds, it is the spring afterall

It was at that moment where he turn his head around and caught your eyes

It was something between those few seconds that a lighting strike between the string connecting you two for a second

Reon knew he did from the moment you two clashed with each other so suddenly

It was...not love at first sight exactly,

But rather, familiarity, like,

'Oh, hello, it's you. It's going to be you,'

The staring prolly lasted more than he expected before you snapped out from your thought, shaking your head,

"Sorry! Didn't mean to..." "But you didn't do anything?" He rose an eyebrow, smiling sheepishly and watch your panic slowly dissolves

"Well, technically yeah but It was bad of me to stare off at you like that,"

He chuckled, your heart clenching at that,

"Don't worry, I think I did it too...maybe both of us did,"

"Ah, yeah! Probably..." you fiddled with your fingers, visibly nervous facing him since he's basically a stranger even tho being in the same school,

"Reon Oohira," "Eh?" You look at him with confusion at first, while he just offers you a smile,

"My name, since we have...how to say it, meet each other? And I don't want to make you uncomfortable after all that so I think it's best if we introduce ourselves,"

Your heart's basically beating out loudly that you'll afraid that he'll hear it

But, that doesn't seem so bad, does it?

You mirrored his smile, this time more confidently than before,

"[y/n] [l/n], nice to meet you Reon!"

"Please,"

Reon put his hand onto your head, "Just call me Hira,"

You fainted

"She's interesting, I love her,"

Reon's Current Mission!

Get to know you better and honestly, there's nothing else to do after that other than asking you out

You'll do great, Oohira~!

#haikyuu #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu fluff #haikyuu crack #shiratorizawa #shiratorizawa x reader #ushijima x reader #ushijima wakatoshi #tendou x reader #tendou satori #semi x reader #semi eita #yamagata x reader #yamagata hayato #reon x reader #reon oohira

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wolf-stark · 3 years

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You ask I deliver — both tfatws asks in one!

tfatws weekly ask 1

i finally saw ep1!! i wont be able to see ep2 until thursday at the earliest but i already have some Thots on this ep. here are the ones I remember

first is, and i'm so sorry for this, a grammar lesson. an appositive is when you stick an additional phrase in between commas, dashes, or the like. i actually just used one! the "and i'm so sorry for this" in the first sentence of this paragraph is an appositive. thing is, most english speakers don't normally use them when they speak, only in writing. so i'm always on high alert whenever i hear somebody in tv or movies use one. (it's generally a marker of bad screenwriting). anyway there was one right in the beginning of the episode. the white army guy yelling at sam wilson said "first lieutenant Torres, our intel officer, will be helping on the ground." yeah so. the writing of this series started out on the wrong foot for me. but the rest of the episode was obviously tons and tons better (every interview i see with malcolm spellman makes me love him more and more)

the contrast between the opening minutes (falcon action sequence) and the rest of the ep.... i would 100000/10 rather watch a series with just sam and bucky dealing with life. i dont give a single crap about the flag-smashers or any of that. i just want sam, sarah & fam getting their boating business back on the ground & yeeting racist dickwads, bucky going through therapy and making amends, sam and joaquin being bros, sambucky homoerotic tension, etc.

the cinnamontography! wandavision mostly used cinematography to signify era n stuff. tfatws doesn't have wv's premise to go off of, so here's some tricks i noticed:

with sam there's obviously all sorts of shots with the captain america iconography next to his face, but he hasn't totally claimed it. there's the mural of steve rogers in the background; there's sam staring into the shield like it's a spectre of steve's face; there's sam looking into the exhibit, the shield and sam separated by glass and a layer of camera focus. steve is a constant spectre, always there, an idea, a symbol himself. sam's relationship with this iconography is distanced. he is separated by glass exhibit walls. by painting canvases. he doesn't yet feel worthy to take on that iconography. this whole thing was pulled off quite well but also a bit on-the-nose if only in quantity. there's just sooooo much fancy iconography stuff

speaking of the exhibit, there's something that i get real pissy about. it's when like, there's an action going on you're supposed to be paying attention to but the cinematographer is like,,,, hey! check out this location! or this headline! or something! there was a lot of that in the exhibit. the camera was like, you could focus on sam and rhodey's convo (which was fine but could have been so much better with an extra like 10 minutes of deep character study talk) but noooo you want me to look at the symbol for the united nations and read all the text about bucky who hasn't even showed up yet. shut up i know the lore and ill watch the shot-by-shot breakdown yt vids you don't have to make the shot this long jkdsalcjklasejf

my fav trick was with bucky and the therapist. i had seen a clip of the scene with bucky and the therapist beforehand and i thought the cinnamontography was super obnoxious, but then i was like, oh duh. the shots frequently change the distance between the camera and its subject. sometimes it's uncomfortably close and sometimes it's really far. a clear allegory for the duality of therapy, esp for bucky! therapy is an invasive process wherein he is ruthlessly examined, picked apart, and berated for his trauma (this therapist is crap in every way btw, "mean therapist" works for greg house and greg house only). so the camera goes close. it makes the viewer claustrophobic like bucky. but when he's like "no i haven't had any nightmares" the camera suddenly goes really far. we see bucky as this tiny head in the center of the bottom of the frame. we are distanced from him. he has pushed us away. we cannot see him. he lies because he is vulnerable. so yeah, amazing work there. the therapy scene was hard to watch on purpose!

did bucky slip a note to yori inside the dollar bill? bucky stop making me emooooo. the suuper awkward fake smile has me 😭 (veteran trying to adjust!)

mark my worrrrds when sam asks someone y the govt picked john “white bread” walker they’re gonna say “we needed somebody everyone can get behind....someone uncontroversial, someone everyone can see themselves in” like that exact racist dog whistle

tfatws weekly ask 2

just saw ep2 so im taking advantage of the 2 seconds i can be on tumblr without worrying about tfatws spoilers before new episode drops

when isaiah said "your people put me in prison for being a hero" and bucky thought "your people" means hydra. 🤦‍♂️

speaking of racism, the interplay between sam being Black (anti-Black racism) and sam being the Falcon (negrophilia, "can i take a selfie w you as i deny you a loan?") and the intersection between the two (j*hn lichrally called sam "steve's wingman"! he takes the crypto out of crypto-racist in like 2 seconds!) !!!!!!!! a Black celebrity's Black experience, the separation of man and identity!!!! (thinking about vanessa bayer in snl in that skit "beyonce is black" telling her black friend "you're not black, you're...my girl!")

after sam gets racially profiled by cops we see j*hn standing in front of cop cars cinematic parallels turns out j*hn is racist who knew

this therapist sucks major ass but she got bucky and sam together in the same room and ready to collaborate...that's something ig. it was lichrally couple's therapy she said she used her miracle exercise with couples sambucky antis get blended

bucky says "he was wrong about you so maybe he was wrong about me"...that's not how people talk. when therapist asks bucky, the guy who doesn't talk at all about himself, "y do you hate sam", the last thing bucky's gonna do is actually connect his hatred of sam to his own self-worth issues. bucky generally refuses to talk about himself, so why would he talk about himself in the one context that nobody ever links back to their own neuroses: hatred of other people? one thing human beings hate most is admitting we're wrong. admitting you hate someone because of your own issues? that's a major therapeutic step. bucky would absolutely have to be prompted to do that. even like one or two lines of dialogue more would have set up that line better. but in terms of the actual thought? an amazing way to take the sam/bucky relationship. bucky bases his self-worth on steve believing in him, and if steve is wrong bucky has no self-worth, so 1) he has to develop self-worth disassociated from steve's assessment of him and 2) he has to love himself before he can love sam, and 3) he has to realize that sam giving up the shield is a sign of sam's humility not his unworthiness.

conversely, we don't get into why sam hates bucky? yeah sam has the right to hate a guy that has tried to kill him (albeit while brainwashed) multiple times, and now shows up in his life just to bash him but. everything happens so fast i cant follow their relationship

in fact i dont feel like i understood much of anything. like y did bucky and sam go on that mission together? how connected are sam/bucky/joaquin with the government? doesn't bucky just want to retire now? literally what is everyone doing/feeling and why???

if battlestar becomes a knowing commentary on the black best friend stereotype i'm gonna party, but i dont expect much of that

the interplay between man and symbol. captain america is obviously a symbol. the shield is obviously a symbol. but steve rogers? the. man behind the cowl? he too seems to become a symbol. a paragon of a good guy, so good he's unreachable. steve was just a guy stop idolizing him the last thing steve would want is to be idolized

as the resident musician/music nerd on mcublr, 1) that captain america rally music slaps, but 2) re: the song at the end of the ep, if you're just gonna rip off mozart's lacrymosa then at least play mozart's lacrymosa. we wont blame you the lacrymosa slaps (if you dont know what im talking about go on yt and search it up youll recognize it fo sho

look i love enfys nest as much as the next guy but if tfatws is gonna get erin kellyman to play another innocent little gurl blackmailed into the fakeout-villain position (her text seemed to suggest as such) then 😡 like why can't women just....be evil? young, freckly, innocent-looking women? girls are not untouchable pure objects but full of rage and resentment just as much as anyone can be

bonus ep1 comment: bucky says about that senator whose car he hijacked, "she continued to abuse the power i gave her." fictionaldarling on yt say that he says "i" because he can't disassociate himself from his winter soldier persona which begets endless and senseless guilt. like dude. can i not be emo for like 1 second.

OKay. First off, as much I enjoy your sending it to me, what made you decide to send me these??

TFATWS WA #1

Don't worry about getting this to me as early as possible. I usually don't watch the episode right away.

1. Cool writing lesson.

2. Everyone wants a comedy show [like Friends] about the MCU superheroes.

3. Cinematography is always a beautiful thing.

4. Sam definitely has to carve his own Captain America status for himself, outside of Steve's ya know everything.

5. They have to do that for people who was just now tuning in because they're in love with Sam Wilson or Sharon Carter.

6. I think the therapist was taking a 'tough love' approach for Bucky, because she likely has some very strong opinions about the literal assassin she's been assigned to give therapy too. She did not choose to talk to him, she was assigned that make that clear in the second episode.

And, Bucky isn't lying when he said it wasn't a nightmare. It wasn't a nightmare, it was a resurfaced memory. So, technically he wasn't lying - and yes, the camera does move away because while he's saying he didn't have a nightmare, he's not expanding on what actually happened - so, he's still pushing the therapist/us away.

7. Bucky, and Steve, have/had a TON to adjust to.

8. Yeah, I agree that will be the bullshit line they give. If they ever actually talk about it.

TFATW WA #2

Yeah, always got to take advantage of avoiding those spoilers lmfaoo.

1. Honestly, that line was double meaning. Both about White people and Hydra [which is made up of mostly white supremacists/nazis] So, the line is gesturing to both White People in general and Hydra assholes together. I think the terminology is “double edge sword”??

2. This whole paragraph structure confused me, ngl - so I'm going to answer it the best I can. I do like that they're not ignoring the fact that Sam being Black is 1000% the reason he's not the Official Captain America - because the gov't is racist as hell.

I also like the little lines about how they point out little things about Sam's Falcon persona, like that kid calling him 'Black Falcon' specifically and Sam's response show the split between Sam and Falcon itself.

John is a dick for calling Sam the wingman of Steve Rogers. Sam was a hero all on his own before Steve asked him to join up again. [Side note, it's lichrally??]

3. Exactly, the parallel of Sam being profiled and surrounded while just on the street and John being surrounded by fans and being able to spring Bucky with apparently only a few sentences shows a Loooooot

4. Honestly, at this point I wonder if she's not actually a therapist and is just an agent assigned to assess Bucky outside of an Official Building. I do know, however, that her 'look at each other and speak' exercise is actually a real therapy practice. It's just a little slower.

5. Actually, I think he would've blurted that out. That whole line. I don't think Bucky hates Sam. I think they could've done the scene better, but I think that had Sam prodded him/the therapist been more annoying Bucky would've lost control of his emotions and blurted out the whole "If he was wrong about you, he was wrong about me" but I feel like the writing for this show is just... not there. Sometimes you blurt shit when you get overemotional and I think that was what Bucky was supposed to be like.

6. I don't think Sam hates Bucky, I think he doesn't trust him though. I do wish they'd talked about that though. The whole 'talk to each other' scene should've been a LOT longer and a LOT slower.

7. Sam and Bucky's relationship is being fast tracked because they don't really know how to work the relationship out, writers-room-wise. Bucky is technically retired, but I feel like he's trying to live up to Steve's expectations and doing what Steve would've done and we all know that if Steve was there, Steve would've jumped on that plane with Sam. It looks like Sam/Bucky/Joaquin are a side-team based from Military services but as Sam says they're all free agents so...?

8. Sadly, They seem to just be propping up to be another stereotype.

9. Captain America is a symbol. Steve Rogers is a man. But now Steve Rogers is an idol because of all the shit he's been through and honestly, it's not a bad thing he's become an idol for people - it's using Steve as a reason to make White Bread Walker the next Captain that makes Steve's idolization so fucked.

10. I don't know anything about music so I have no opinion here, sorry.

11. Enfys?? Also, I think they did the whole Innocent Girl Thing as side commentary for Bucky lowering his guard about seeing a young girl rather than a guy.

12. Bucky is the Winter Solider. The Winter Solider is Bucky. That is how Bucky will always see it because although he was brainwashed, it was still him and he remembers all of it. When you have constant memories of something 'someone else' did, you tend to not be able to pull the two personas out of each other. I want Bucky to take up the title, White Wolf instead of Winter Soldier. Honest.

This is all my opinion, I’m honestly a little disappointed with the writing of TFATWS so far so... I’m not really optimistic about this.

#Asks

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lilmajorshawty · 6 years

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Funny things I’ve seen in the venus signs(1/2)

Aries venus:

they fluctuate between hype and totally lethargic! They can get excited about things so quick including lovers but can also get bored or log out from a person or situation just as quickly. Much like Scorpio venus they can have a wondering eye but it doesn’t mean anything aha and honestly once they’re hooked on someone not even the most beautiful angel can take them away from that person. They have high libido so often times they can become more intense or anxious when they want some “naughty”

Taurus venus:

Slow pokes! They either like to sit down and embrace the moment or observe rather than act! They don’t rush when it comes to anything no matter their placements and because of that they always seem unbothered and calm even when a whole crowd of people are having a riot. I’ve noticed they love there sweats! Aha they love stuff that hugs them and fits nicely and soft on their skin! The guys can wear stuff that hugs their buns really nice or they can even has nice buns👀 the girls usually wear stuff that’s form fitting and shows their curves!

Gemini venus:

Intellectuals!! They love to talk! And I mean THEY LOVEEE TO TALK but similar to the moon talking isn’t just taking for them! It’s an emotional thing and just a short or playful conversation can literally brighten their entire day! They usually stay away for relationships because they’re afraid of being in a relationship with a unresponsive and non communicative partner. They can be serial flirts which can win them a lot of admirers but surprisingly they aren’t the types to lead people on! And usually as soon as they sense someone start to like them they pull away or become evasive(when the rational Gemini twin appears) but talking is def the way to their heart and if they feel they connect with you through a convo that goes miles farther then just your body! Very sensitive as well!! And I’ve seen many dating water signs especially Scorpio!

Cancer venus:

They are very mysterious!? They never reveal anything-even after years of knowing them it can seem like day in and day out you’re learning something new about them! Emotions are felt strong but never in front of others unless they feel comfortable. They can be extremely feminine and enjoy touch dare I say even more than Taurus venus! They really love affection and intimacy from my knowledge and can be the types to hug out of a need for closeness or to feel out a connection! The guys go for feminine types and the ones who have mothering qualities(no lie or athletic tough types) and the women go for sensitive guys or the guys who seem mean but are actually cuddly on the inside.

Leo venus:

They hate attention!! The ones I’ve known can tell the difference between ass kissing and genuine love for them! So they do like to be fawned over but they hate it when it’s forced or coerced! They just want you to genuinely like them! But it doesn’t matter either way to them wether you think they’re the shit or not lol they kinda already know they are anyways. They can be really possessive but like all fixed signs they can be contradictions because albeit they demand attention from their lovers they also don’t want their partner down their neck 24/7 which is fun to see because the moment they get the space they want they feel unloved and get antsy aha 😂. Basically love them but like every now and then let them miss you.

Virgo venus:

SHYYYYYY! They can be in love with someone, like to the point where their bones ache and I promise you they won’t even budge an inch. They like love to come to them rather than pursue it and this isn’t a bad thing! They just need palpable proof of affections before they open their hearts. They like to do small things for you like buy you food, clean your car, stroke your hair or clean your apartment or even make you breakfast! They like to show love through actions and for them that equates to love! They prefer more experienced lovers because they aren’t good with lovers who don’t know what they like per say! So not saying they don’t mind people who are less experienced they just have a hard time thriving in relationships like those because they can’t receive the necessary “I love that” that they need to hear to know they’re doing okay.

Libra venus:

Flirting is not causation. They flirt mindlessly and like harmony so often showing affection and emotional openness is a way for them to create joy and good vibes in their environment male or female so they can come across as sexually fluid and gender fluid but in reality from what I’ve learned deep down they’re high key picky about who they spend their lives with and because libra is the sign of partnerships a lot of their interactions serve the purpose for helping them figure out what it is they desire.

Scorpio venus:

They have a wondering eye! Anyone who knows a Scorpio venus knows that they love the body and skin and because of that they naturally find beauty something they want to acknowledge! But now this doesn’t mean they cheat aha actually just the opposite! Scorpio venus May find people attractive but still be wild jealous if you so much as even acknowledge another person! Scorpio venus view their “glances” as harmless as they have no emotional connection or desire for that person which are very important laws for them. When it comes to their partners on the other hand Scorpio venus feel as though everyone’s else’s mind works differently so acknowldgeing someone’s beauty could mean more and they just won’t have that 😂 it’s contradictory in a way but it’s also what makes them complex.

Sagittarius venus:

They like something out of reach! Sometimes they like something they know nothing about that raises questions In their head that they long to answer while in other scenarios they crave something or someone that’s opposite from them! Be it a dog that is more quiet than their usual loud personality, be it a lover who is more of a homebody, be it a job that requires a more restricted expression-they desire catalyst for change and growth so you’ll usually find them dating someone who’s starkly contrast from them and they’ll be as happy as can be!

Capricorn venus:

They’re very sexy! They have this serious yet childlike charm to them that is often overlooked! They can be menacing at first both males and female and they tend to have very stern moral codes and values that usually allow them to discern people and environments at a moments notice but once they open up to you they’re HUGEEEE softies! Very loving and slightly parental! But hey we all need someone to look out for us! They actually don’t all look for older partners! The guys may go for someone younger looking! And the girls may go for someone who’s maybe 2-3 years older but like it’s rare i see them going for 20+ years and up aha.

Venus in Aquarius:

HOTTTIESSSSS OMG they are sooo 80s I know I say this all the time but they really are! They give off a asexual nature as if nothing really entices them. They can seem a bit to them selves and the types to completely sit miles away from the crowd blasting Billie idol of the fugees! They don’t normally dig the in crowd but can have such hip and kinda new age styles! The women are gorgeous and have this radio head/Green Day energy about them! The men look like scientist and or tony stark! They don’t really date for physical attributes! They date for energy and cute nuances in someone’s personality! Oh and sexually they tend to meld with the energy of their partner.

Venus in Pisces:

Heartbreakers! Man they’re super receptive! The types to tell you what you’re feeling before you feel it, to hug you before you know you needed a hug, to give you space before you knew you needed space. They are super sweet and sentimental but they can feel drained and “as if they’re doing to much” sometimes and pull dispearing acts for like months and even years depending on the vibes they got from you! They’re immensely loyal but can be guilty of have emotional affairs with people when they’re in a relationship that’s not providing them the emotional reassurance they need.

#mine #venus #venuns in aries #venus in taurus #venus in gemini #venus in cancer #venus in leo #venus in virgo #venus in libra #venus in scorpio #venus in sagittarius #venus in capricorn #venus in aquarius #venus in pisces

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seokjinsleo · 6 years

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BTS as Fuckboys (+ but being soft with you)

I feel like this will be too long but I got this idea out of nowhere. Them being fuckboys at uni and falling in love with you. Then being soft with you bc they are so damn in love with you and they cant help it OMFGHAHSJSJ.

Hyung line / Maknae line

Jimin: The Dancer Fuckboy

As fuckboy:

* lets be real here, hes a shy cute pie but when he dances hes just a demon

* and thats exactly why girls stick to him like bees with honey

* as a comtemporanean major dancer he has an amazing body and he knows how to use it for his pleasure

* he never thought girls would like him but since freshman year girls were crazy about him

* he once fuck three of his dance girl mates in the dance studio before a performing test. it was beautiful. such an art, as he would say.

* tbh he dont do much, girls just come to him since he is too shy to actually talk to them same in sex he is a good switch but he enjoy being a sub

* thats something girls die for. men tend to be dom but this chimchim loved being fucked real good by a girl and they loved being dom with him

* his innocent face attracted a lot of looks in his direction but his signatura thing was his demon like smile

* demon like bc it was so big and beautiful that u couldn’t resist it no matter what and he knows it

* loves to praise his lovers and loves to make them feel good

* feels like shit when he has to break things up bc he gets tired of them in a week or less

* dont be fooled by his cuteness he still a fuckboy

* ofc that was until he met this chemistry student a year ago

As softie:

* hes a natural softie and everyone knows but with you he is another level. you are his flower he wants to take care of.

* he met you when you went to his class by accident and left when u saw that it was the wrong classroom. you were a freshman by that time.

* a year later hes still so whipped with you like literally he cant stop fucking you like the first time you two did it

* also hes so fucking in love. he never felt that way. he cant see his future without u and he tells you that every night by text or when you stay in his dorm.

* you love his intense laugh and the way he hides his face with his hands when hes too embarrassed

* he always was very clear with you with who he was before meeting bc he knew rumors were hard

* he always wanted to please in any way

* he always kiss your lips goodbye after licking his lips

* he loves to wait for you outside your classroom with very sweet hot chocolate, just how u like it

* he would make you feel so wanted while he fucks you in his bed and his lips are licking every part of your neck

* he would never stop his pace this he has you shaking at least 3 times * “you are such a good girl, you take so well”, besides what he is normally he became very dom with you and he loves it. best sex he has ever had.

* “i never knew i needed a chem girl to feel this good. what a waste of time i had before you, baby.”, he said with his beautiful smile.

Taehyung: The Effortless Fuckboy

As fuckboy:

* girls were actually mad at him bc hes so bloody gorgeous

* with his 4d face and personality he had the world at his feet

* like he didnt even try to be a fuckboy, he was just born to be one

* all he needed to do was to look at someone and they would be at his service and he knew it but he didnt care tbh

* he was just living life while painting, playing instruments or taking pictures and thats how he met his muses

* he loves the artistic beauty of naked bodies, and he couldn’t resist when after a photoshoots his muse would spread her legs for him

* he would take pics in the moment so he would save it for his memories

* missionary was his fav pose bc he could see everything in his muse; to her expression to the slightly shaking of her legs

* he would do that every thursday when a new girl entered his art studio to be photographed and fucked

* he loved girls that looked like art

* thats how he noticed her; by her almond shaped eyes and plump lips

* he wanted her to be his muse so bad

As softie:

* lets be real, you got fucked by him the first time you talked but he wanted more and more

* he didnt notice how he started to go less to his art studio and more to your or his dorm to hang out and cuddle and fuck

* slowly he started to ignored every of his ex lovers

* he was enchanted by the beauty he had between his legs while you deep throat him

* sex with him was a real art. he loved to taste, lick and bite every space of you.

* he notice his feelings when one night alone in his dorm his brain couldn’t stop talking about you

* next day he went to your dorm early in the morning just to kiss you good morning

* he would always talk with you about your inspirations and he would always looked at you amazed everytime you talked

* clingyyyyyyyy

* he couldn’t help but give you a a boxy smile everytime he could; he was just so happy GIRL YOURE MAKING HIM SO FUCKING HAPPY OMGKAISJ

* art studio sex? Hell yes. with paint all over your bodies while he pounds deeply into you.

* “waited for you so long. i cant see myself without you”, he caressed your lips, “jagi, im so in love.“

Jungkook: The Golden Fuckboy

As fuckboy:

* he was your typical fuckboy: nice face, nice body, nice flirty methods. But something very interesting about him was his passion such as dancing, singing, drawing and photography/films. thats why he is in indisciplinary major.

* he was very picky with girls tho. he would actually take them home if they had a nice convo.

* he looked at that as a foreplay

* if a girl could have a nice convo with him and get him interested he would ask her by the end of the day if she wanted to share a night with him

* and if he ever ask you that you better say yes bc GUUuuUrLllL that boy is so good in bed

* he love teasing so before fucking u he wanted u sweating and hot for him

* he has great stamina do be prepared to be all night and all day if u dont want to go to uni

* hes the fuckboy who knows is a fuckboy and knows that every1 knows and dosen’t care

* actually he feels kinda ok with the title

* he adores older women so he tends to flirty with his young-adult professors with any luck

* they flirt back and all but bc of the uni student/prof laws it dosen’t occur anything

* so thats how he actually met her, she was a year older and oh yes he was a sucker for noonas

As softie:

* at first you ignored him everytime which seems to affect him really bad

* that was bc he was actually in love with you and he didnt even knew

* thats why kept going for you; this time with flowers or chocolates, not flirting but just his real him

* after a while you started to date and GURLLLL this guy in so fucking in love with you he cant even believe it

* he would always call you noona, noona this noona that but it was until he was needy that his tone became pleading, “noona~~~ i miss you, you miss me?"

* even tho there was just a year gap, he was such a child and he would love to tickle you and play with your hair

* he is crazy about you and everytime he see you entering his dorm his doe eyes get wide and his bunny smile becomes bigger

* rumors of cheating were always there no matter what and at first it really affected you to the Point you almost broke up

* "baby, believe me- hey, look at me, dont give up please dont. yes i was a fuckboy, casanova, whatever you want to call it but that was before i ever met u i swear, i want no one but you noona. you are my noona, mine. im your kookie, yours okay?"

* sex was beautiful.

* he would taste you, bite, slap you, degrade you, praise you, just everything fine and spice.

* "You are so good, noona, so fucking good- ahhh”, he moaned in your neck while he got lost in the beauty of your body

* you were his baby, he would always protect you, he always had your back

* “Yah, noona, your face looks like the woman i want to marry”, he would say while giving you a sly bunny smile.

#bts #bangtan #seokjin #Jin #Yoongi #suga #Hoseok #jhope #namjoon #rm #Jimin #Taehyung #jungkook #reaction #fanfic #fanfiction #kpop #smut

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sireneia-a · 6 years

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this happens every time i pull up the love growths and the jealousy rates in genealogy so i’m unpacking that too but for all my fe4 muses. going in roster order for this. why am i doing this?? cause i love storytelling via game mechanics and think more games should do it. not necessarily in relation to romance though, like leif’s arc is pretty amazingly displayed through mechanics in both his game appearances but i can ramble about that another time.

for the record, i’m assuming a love growth of +2 as what a “normal” pace for falling in love is since it’s the most common growth rate in the game. the format that this reads as is 0+2 then which translates to “a love base of zero, a love growth of two.”

under the cut cause i still have no idea how to be succinct and also i’m talking about eight characters so yknow

lene:

almost every guy has 0+2 for her. she doesn’t have any particular attraction to any guy as a result, though she’s open to falling in love with any of them with no biases. the only exception to this trend is ares who is set at 300+1. this is one of the highest love bases in the entire game if not THE highest.

even disregarding their canon dialogue making me believe they are in a “more than friends, less than lovers” situation, this love base alone hints towards that too. 300 love points makes the game register the two as having taken a fancy to one another, 400 points is when they’re officially “well and truly in love” with one another, and 500 is when they’re literally married.

the fact that lene’s growth is at +1 with ares makes me think that although she has a high love base with him, she’s slow to realize her own feelings for him and would take a while to actually transition into being ACTUAL lovers. she would take a while to believe she should make a move. this is supported by the fact that she is at the low end of ares’s jealousy spectrum. she just doesn’t easily get jealous over other girls spending time with him.

interestingly enough, the people that she’s more easy to become jealous over are ced, oifey, and iucharba.

leif:

leif has a 0+2 for everyone except julia, nanna, jeanne, tine and linda. julia is set at 0+0 for everyone except seliph so that’s why there. nanna and jeanne both are set to 100+2 which means he has yet to even think about either of them in a romantic way.

200 points is when the characters are thinking more frequently about the person for reference. however, leif’s shared childhood with nanna and jeanne undeniably has a foundation for him to see either of them in a romantic light and them growing up together is likely the reason behind his falling in love eventually. despite this, he goes at a normal pace with either of them still.

the interesting thing is that he is set to 0+3 with tine and linda. whilst he has no foundation with either of them, this tells me that he is quicker to fall in love with them and his relationship might be likened more to a whirlwind romance. it’s also interesting to me because linda and tine are... nothing like nanna and jeanne KGHFKFHKFS

i guess leif’s taste in women might be more like linda and tine but he’s just got more backstory with nanna and jeanne to build upon. either that or leif probably interacts more with tine and linda then and has more opportunity to fall in love with either of them mid-war.

leif also has an equal jealousy rate with all girls which just means nobody ever gets jealous over him. Ever. what that means?? hell if i know how to dissect that

dew:

hi token first gen! he has a more unique spread, so i’ll just write it down first here.

edain 0+2 / ayra 0+2 / lachesis 50+2 / erinys 50+2 / silvia 0+3 / brigid 50+2 / tailtiu 120+3

due to his backstory and how he didn’t know any of these people until the war, i’m going to interpret a higher love base to mean he’s more strongly attracted to those characters upon a first impression.

but... why those four? that’s a tricky one. i can’t just say he likes women who can kick his ass cause ayra isn’t included. i was going to say it’s strong-willed women, but again ayra would’ve been included. i can’t say he’s just attracted to longer hair cause all of them have long hair, and i can’t say it’s that he thinks lighter colored hair is gorgeous because erinys with her trademark silessian green hair is there.

i might still say though he’s attracted to women who he immediately understands their convictions and motivations. by the time he meets ayra, presumably he would not be able to witness her devotion to shannan as strongly as, say, sigurd would have. but lachesis he’d see her desire to be strong for her brother, erinys her love for her homeland and proper strict attitude, brigid her backstory as a rare female captain amongst pirates, and tailtiu her desire to follow claud no matter where. he’s less certain with ayra for reasons explained, edain because he just meets her in jail and his mind is fixated solely on getting out, and silvia because he only interprets her as a dancer and probably doesn’t immediately catch onto her attraction to lewyn.

tailtiu is the highest, so i’m going to interpret that as him either thinking thunder magic is extremely intimidating and awesome or because he just likes girls in ponytails. him having a higher growth with silvia and tailtiu tells me he gets along better with girls who are upbeat but have a sadness underneath it, and he might just naturally feel more for them as time goes on.

his jealousy rates are complicated cause genealogy separates priority for first gen hardcore based on whether or not you’ve turned your console on and off again yet. a shared theme between the two versions though is that edain and ayra more easily get jealous over dew. also interesting is that dew’s jealousy rates post-resetting are identical to jamke’s -- a fact i choose to believe because dew and jamke likely hang out a lot around one another in the game, solidified by their ch5 convo having dew getting uncharacteristically sentimental on the archer prince before running off.

iuchar:

iuchar’s rates are mostly 0+2 so standard fare but the unique stuff comes to predictably larcei and more unpredictably tine.

larcei is set to 200+2 which i think makes sense considering he literally gets recruited under the pretense that he’s so in love with larcei that he’s willing to betray his family for her. i know the rate is set lower because he’s recruited in the first chapter of the first gen, but i want to believe that it’s a nod to the fact that he’s not as head over heels for larcei as he claims to be. again, 200 means he’s thinking about her but not necessarily in love with her. the fact that they have a growth of 2 points per turn makes me believe that them developing a romantic relationship would be at a normal pace, just in general normal and not affected by his supposed affections for her. he wouldn’t be pushing things aggressively as a result, but also neither of them are necessarily extremely opposed to it.

tine is set to 0+3. this... i’m going to unpack when i get to her because i thought at first this was something specific to leif since leif and tine are predestined lovers ( a fancy term used to describe pairings the game recommends or otherwise they have conversations with one another ) but i’m beginning to realize there’s something else here.

i can’t analyze iuchar’s jealousy rates because i can only see iucharba’s, and although the two have identical love growths and bases with one another, i don’t feel right just assuming their jealousy rates are the same. if they ARE though, it’s a wild time cause it’s:

nanna > larcei > fee > tine > lene > lana > patty > altena

tine:

i promised to deliver on analyzing iuchar’s rate with her here and yeah.

tine’s set to 0+3 with EVERYONE. EVERYONE. NO EXCEPTIONS. thank you for consistency for starters but oh boy.

so since i’m running on the idea that +2 is normal for love growths, i have no choice but to recognize that tine just falls in love really quickly. a +4 growth DOES exist though it’s basically for brigid only. the only other weirdly high love growth rate to be featured in game is finn who has a +10 with brigid and tailtiu because finn has only 50 turns to fall in love with either of those two so good luck and hope those jealousy rates don’t kill you if that’s your aim. regardless, all of tine’s romances edge on whirlwind romances. but why?

well, i have a feeling it ties into the fact that tine is supposed to be the second gen deirdre equivalent. this is showcased by her lover’s convo with seliph where she remarks that she doesn’t want to end up just like deirdre. this does not happen in any other lovers convo with seliph, so i’m pretty sure that’s just her role. her having silver hair, being associated with purple, a mage, and also a sheltered girl also helps the connections further.

tine’s fast rates ensure that no matter whom she falls in love with, it’ll be fast-paced in a way similar to how deirdre’s relationship with sigurd went. there’s nothing to make someone fall in love at first sight with tine, but she’s quick to fall in love with and reciprocate.

her jealousy rates are a bit more complicated to look at, but a general note is that she’s the girl that gets the most jealous easily over ced hinting at her own preference to him. behind that, in order, are ulster, diarmuid, oifey and iucharba equally, shannan and ares equally, and then every other guy. i don’t really know how to interpret that except that barring ced, i guess she just. favors the tirnanog gang i guess???

febail:

febail apparently ALSO HAS A 0+3 WITH EVERYONE except julia and lene. i have literally no explanation for this the way i did tine, but i’m going to try.

i’m going to interpret this to mean that febail falls in love easier than he lets on. this might be a byproduct of him being a sensitive person at heart, something shown and exemplified by how he serves as a father figure to all the orphans in conote. hell, he even has a card where they’re all crying as they’re rushing to hug him.

febail indiscriminately falls in love, and perhaps him being kind of bad at hiding how sentimental and compassionate he is towards the orphans is what helps others fall in love with him quickly too.

except lene and julia. lmao. i get why julia is the exception, but i just think it’s really funny that lene also isn’t falling for this dude easily either. which might just say something about lene’s maturity and inability to just recklessly develop affections for others.

febail has the MOST confusing jealousy rates in my opinion because his is just. altena > everybody else. the reason why it’s weird that altena gets jealous over him easily is because altena shouldn’t be falling in love with anyone. it’s not even like julia’s case where julia is 0+0 for everyone except seliph. altena has NO rates or bases.

febail how did you do it,

coirpre:

i already kinda talked about his love growths and bases in this post but i’ll talk more about it cause there’s definitely stuff i missed.

coirpre’s spread is like this:

julia 0+0 / lana 220+3 / muirne 220+3 / larcei 0+2 / creidne 0+2 / nanna 0+2 / jeanne 0+0 / fee 0+2 / hermina 0+2 / patty 200+3 / daisy 0+3 i think / tine 0+3 / linda 0+3

him being lategame can help explain some of these but i don’t think that’s the right assumption to make? mostly because his bases and growths aren’t all across the board like how tailtiu’s are, and she’s in your army for around the same amount of time that coirpre is in yours. but they also still let him fall in love unlike altena who, as said before, should logically not fall in love but also you can rig jealousy rates i guess.

it’s also interesting because coirpre is one of the few instances where he differentiates between substitutes considering he will express absolute zero interest in jeanne no matter what but he’s open to falling in love with nanna.

there’s not really much of a common thread between all of the notable rates here, but minus tine and linda, you could say he’s taken a bias towards other characters seen as support units in a way. lana, muirne, patty, and daisy are not intended to be frontline soldiers. however, nanna and jeanne are out of the running for this, so it’s not a hard-pressed rule for him. it still makes sense that he probably hangs out more with other support units considering he himself is one.

his dynamic with patty and his dynamic with lana would probably be extremely different since lana is the more soft-spoken and sweet character whilst patty openly bickers with him. hence why i can’t say it’s a personality thing tying him to any biases.

coirpre has some of the highest bases in the game because of his being 200 or more with some of the characters. this implies he’s definitely taken a fancy to lana, muirne and patty upon first meeting them. if it weren’t muirne and nanna, i’d just say he has a preference for blondes and be done with it but of course things are Complicated.

coirpre has jealousy rates too, with his being patty > lana > altena > other girls. this gives insight to how girls feel about HIM and he’s not actually the least complicated scale, his having more people ranked than lester, febail, seliph and leif. he’s more attracted to lana at first sight but patty is more likely to feel things for him.

also altena is there for some reason. i’m DOUBLY confused on account of her not supposed to be falling in love and also the fact that coirpre sees her as a mother figure.

deimne:

deimne’s rates are identical to lester’s, not really surprising considering that he serves as lester’s substitute but only a bit surprising to me considering he has different lover’s conversations. regardless, his are pretty lackluster too, being 0+2 for everyone except julia, tine and linda.

tine and linda are at 0+3 again and julia is at 0+0. i don’t have much to add besides what’s already been said in tine’s section, but these bases DO reflect his lack of desire to interact with the nobles. doesn’t really apply that way to the substitutes though but eh. he’s still not really rejecting anyone though since he’s at +2 as opposed to +1 or +0.

i’m going to assume deimne’s jealousy rates are also identical to lester’s which means his is patty and daisy > altena > other girls. daisy and patty definitely makes sense to me since he has lover convos with them. altena is once again a wild card crashing in out of nowhere.

cause why avoid hanging out with nobles when you can have a princess of TWO houses getting jealous over you i guess.

only other notable thing is that deimne has an arc that i find sweet with his childhood friend karen who is not playable. it’s implied that she has feelings for him but he doesn’t really notice. this isn’t reflected in mechanics, but it’s a tangentially related subject.

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ctrl-shift-esc · 6 years

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Sometimes Fairytales don’t last. part 3

“ I can’t believe it’s over a new beginning ”

11.29.18

& that was the end of us, but possibly the beginning of something wonderful...

I’m not trying to make myself sound like an angel. I wasn’t. It was impossible for me to be. I tried my best, but like I said, I lost control, more often than I would’ve liked. It was hard enough spending weeks on end without seeing each other because of his work schedule. Spending the only time we’d have together dealing with this -- heartbreaking affair -- then adding onto it more stress from the less than pleasant stay. Not to mention the lack of affection & connection between us, it was just too much. There were times where I shut down, I didn’t know how to communicate anymore. I didn’t know what I needed to do to make everything okay. I just didn’t know what my place was anymore. Ironically, if there’s ever a time where you need to show up powerfully for your partner this was probably it… I just couldn’t seem to succeed. I know I’m hard to love when I get into that closed off head space. So I most definitely played a part in the crashing ship we were both on. It was a vicious -- vicious cycle. The more I got rejected by the mom & the less connected I felt with him, the more I shut myself off. The more insecure & anxious I got, the less love he would give me. To be honest, I can’t even blame him. He had his own stuff to deal with. Reassuring me was probably the last thing on his to do list. It didn’t change the fact that we both probably could’ve used a little more loving. We just didn’t know any better. We both didn’t know how to deal with any of it. We tried, we had moments where we still felt like us. I wanted those moments to last forever. I did more than miss those moments, I was at a point where I was craving them. They were so few and far between, in a time where we needed them more than ever.

I think I could’ve held on, If he’d held on too.

When he left me, I broke down. Again. Seemed like this was becoming a pattern… breaking down that is. The hardest part was wrapping my head around reinventing a new life. I had just started a full time job on a film set. If you know anything about film, you know that a full time gig is very time consuming. Five days a week, 13 hours a day. Starting a new life, organizing a move, splitting our belongings -- on my weekends? You had to be kidding me! Overwhelming would’ve been an understatement. The fear of losing myself and the life I worked so hard to build, overpowered the fear of losing him.

I had for some reason assumed I would be the one moving out. He didn’t stop me from assuming that either. He had a bigger income than me, so, I guess we figured I couldn’t afford the place. After speaking to my mom the morning after, she made me realize that I needed to look after myself. If there was ever a time to be selfish this was it. Wait a minute I thought, I had a full time job now. This was my home. I’m here 24/7, he’s not. I took care of the apartment, I cleaned, I decorated, I worked in Vancouver -- Why would I be the one to move out? Living in Vancouver was my dream. Not his. I’d be damned if I were to lose it all because he chose to give up.

Sure the price is steeper than I’d want to pay on my own, but right now, I could do it! I could afford this and I could figure the rest out later. So I did. I told him I wasn’t moving out, and then I took my patio furniture out of the box and started building it. I’m here to stay.

I tried to give him the chance to come back on his decision, more than once. I told him that within our relationship we have space to give space. I reassured him that “us” right now wasn’t a priority, that it was about his healing. I gave him permission to do his own thing and not worry about us, on the condition that he’d still be faithful to me only. I pleaded for us not to have to split up and move out. I warned him that going through that, would be devastating to the relationship and very hard to come back from, if he ever did change his mind. He didn’t want any of it. He wanted to be single. He left for work again, and on that day, we had a 2 hour phone conversation. We finally cried it out. How hurt we both were. He got to say his piece, I got to say mine. We listened. For what it felt like the first time in ages. We heard one another. At the end of the conversation he even mentioned that maybe the next time he was in town, we could go on a date and start fresh. I agreed, with a smile. A few days had gone by since he’d left. Not a word. My hopes were soon to be nonexistent. He probably was just trying to be nice... I thought or he changed his mind again and doesn’t want to get back together. Either way, I got annoyed of waiting for a text, a call, any sign of life. I always hated being that girl. I don’t wait and wallow in self pity. Get back in the game I told myself. One night out with a dashing man, all dolled up, will be fun. I’m not as worthless as he made me feel and I deserved to have fun and feel wanted. So Tinder was downloaded. Yep, the good ol’ trusty Tinder… I was on that thing for approximately 48 hours. I matched potentially 6 guys from which only 1 started a convo. He lived 2 hours away, worked the same kind of schedule as my now, ex. Safe to say I didn’t keep that convo going. No thanks! Until the next day, I came across a new profile, I liked it all. He was cute, looked genuine, he was older, had a stable job and he didn’t live hours away. Him, I want him. But hey, it’s Tinder so he’s probably crazy, taken, or a loser. One night out for fun is probably all I’m getting out of this, so don’t get your hopes up. This was me getting ahead of myself because neither of us had said anything yet. I figured if I waited for him to make the first move, I might be waiting a while given the fact those other 5 guys never started a convo at all. So I made the first move, and waited for a reply I thought would never come. Sure enough he wrote back and I was pretty excited about it! We planned a dinner date for the next day. Again with low expectations, I didn’t think the date would actually pan out, but it did. The date lasted over 3 hours, and he wasn’t a catfish! I think for a first Tinder date, it’s a pretty damn good one. A simple, platonic first date. It felt amazing to have normal conversations with someone again. From then on, we tried to see each other as often as we could.

I still hadn’t heard from my ex, it had been over 2 weeks. At this point, I was more than convinced he and I were never going to reignite what we once had. How could someone who loved me go so long without speaking to me, it just didn’t make sense. The only conclusion I could come up with was that he in fact didn’t love me anymore. I was wrong, week 3, he shows up at my front doorstep, wanting to try us again. The decision was now mine. To take him back or to move on. I didn’t know what to do. It’s not like I fell out of love with him. I felt betrayed, lost, used. Not to mention having a terrible after taste from what happened with his mom. I was angry. After all we had spoken about spending a lifetime together, he wasn’t just some puppy love fling. I didn’t want to make a decision based on anger. I needed to take it one day at a time. I also had to be honest with my new beau; I really enjoy your company. You’re truly a breath of fresh air (which he was, especially after how suffocated I’d felt recently) but he’s come back into my life and I need to make sure I’m making the right decision. I can’t rush anything. I had told myself that I needed to take care of my heart, that if it caused anyone to decide that they couldn’t wait, that it wasn’t for me -- that the chips would fall where they were meant to. To my surprise, he was more than supportive. We agreed to slow things down and stay friends for now. I also had to be honest with the one that just came back into my life. Listen, I met someone, I told him. He was stunned. I mean… what did he expect? The fact that he either assumed I’d be waiting around for him after leaving me and ghosting me or that he simply thought no one would want me, was borderline insulting. I still didn’t turn him down right away. I told him I needed to believe he’d be here to stay before we ever think of getting back together. We agreed that only time would tell. Until I found out he had lied about his whereabouts one night when he had stayed back home and I had flown back home early. I was over the top enraged. At this point, I really couldn’t trust him anymore. It wasn’t about trusting in his will to make things work anymore, it was straight up trusting his word. I couldn’t wrap my head around the fact that he had willingly lied to me. What else would he lie about in the future? Is this really the kind of relationship I’m going to feel safe and loved in? I don’t know, but it doesn’t sound like it, does it?

Letting go is hard. Especially when you’ve imagined a life with someone. We may not have been married, but we made promises to each other. We promised to be each others person. Those promises were broken. I never wanted this. It’s not easy to turn the page when you’re basically forced to. I didn’t feel like I had a choice anymore. It didn’t matter what I did or said, he kept making the wrong choices. I was furious at him for it. Maybe we just weren’t a good match to begin with. Or maybe we were a good match until we weren’t anymore. Regardless, I realized that I was fighting so hard to hold onto something that the universe was clearly trying to steer me away from. I got tired of fighting. I got tired of being the only one fighting.

I also happened to have met a really great guy. Who, during all this time, wiped tears off my face when I got overwhelmed with it all. He listened and heard me, even if it may have been hard for him to. I admired that. He was a friend before anything else. He tapped into that same selflessness that I’d been tapping into. He showed the kind of support I needed and wanted in a relationship all along. He was quite literally a breath of fresh air. I needed that right now. I couldn’t make a decision based on fear, or based on anger. I didn’t. I took my time and it didn’t happen overnight but I chose the path that allowed me to breathe freely.

Of course it hurts my heart. When you spend that much time with someone, whether you want to admit it or not, they become family. I’m starting to learn that love can live without being in love & that’s okay. Just because I’m not with him doesn’t mean I have to stop caring or hate him. I’m at ease with my decision, because it's what I needed. For the first time, I had listened to what I needed. We were great lovers, but we never could figure out how to be partners, and that’s ultimately what I’m looking for. For the first time in my life I was able to go through this without regretting anything. Because nothing was mine to regret. Things happened the way they did, and I had no control over it. I made decisions based on my needs and I gave it all. I gave all of me until I had nothing left to give.

Who knows what the universe has in store for me. Who knows where we’ll stand in 10 years from now. All I know is I’m ready to live in the moment. Love like I’ve never been hurt before and laugh like there’s no tomorrow. I hope you do the same.

It was the end of us… But it may have been the beginning of something wonderful.

A gentle growth.

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hpoutdoors · 6 years

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Why Woodie-n’t You?

How hunting woodcock can increase your dog’s success with waterfowl.

By: Chad Fix

Most of us hunting dog owners think our dogs are the greatest things since sliced bread. We’re the soccer moms of the hunting community. The truth of the matter is 90% of hunting dogs are decent, at best; this is especially true in the duck hunting. It’s not the dog’s fault either – it’s us, the handlers.

We don’t look from an outside lens. The standard colloquialism in the duck hunting tribe: “I’ve got a great a duck dog. He’s pretty good with pheasants too when we’ve gone to the Dakotas.” Upon hearing this, I just think to myself: so he’s pretty good with pheasants in the thick stuff (cattails, hedgerows, etc.), but why is he good for nothing at finding crippled ducks that bury themselves in the exact, same cover?

I imagine if I actually asked this out loud, the conversation would go South as quick as a blue-winged teal even feels a semblance of an autumn chill. My hope would be that the conversation would be like the following conversation (or better!):

“Oh what are you talking about? He’s found some this past season. And it’s a cripple, we’re talking about here…those things are long gone…besides, they’re food for the foxes and eagles.”

(what a note of consolation at the end…anyway, back to the convo)

So if foxes and eagles can find them, why can’t your dog?

“Look, just the other day my dog made a 200 yard retrieve on the water.”

That’s, great! You should be proud of your dog, BUT what about all those cripples? It doesn’t make sense; your dog shouldn’t have a problem finding them in similar cover he finds pheasants. Am I wrong?

Please hear me out.

First off, we, as hunters, have a moral obligation to give fair chase to every animal we down. Why then is it okay to easily shrug off cripples that go into thick cover? We owe it them.

Further, you owe it to your dog. They’ll get the same praise from you – just like the time when they made that 200 yard retrieve on the water. Which only encourages them even more to hit the thick stuff even harder the next time – there’s a reward!

GIve your dog more credit in this.

Call it hypothesizing, but there’s a truth to be heard: when a dog is exposed to a certain type of cover they may familiarize the scent of it with the game they’re scenting out; if a dog has been exposed to pheasants in cattails, it may have learned that a “Good boy” is when they sniff out and retrieve a pheasant – meanwhile, not giving two sniffs to a duck because a “Good boy” for a duck is when it’s retrieved on the water or cut corn field. Essentially there could be a disconnect.

The connection can be made through exposure.

If it’s hunting season for you, the best form of exposure you can provide for your dog is through pass shooting on land. Look to add a couple of these hunts to your schedule for some needed change. My old man and I have been fortunate to pass shoot a wood duck roost for the past few years with our dogs. It has made a world of difference because it has a perfect diversity of thick cover: we hunker down in tall grass with the dogs, behind us are woods, and in front of us are cattails.

As the birds pass, they’ll fall in each type of cover – given their flight path, how fast they’re going and how long it takes / how many shots fired before a bird is dropped. Thereby giving opportunity for the pups to associate birds in all three types of cover.

After one or two hunts, your four-legged companion will get their reps in – pending you being able to drop some. If you do, be sure to put a good mark on the bird(s) that fall before pulling up on more flying overhead. Birds don’t stray too far from where they land if there is cover for them to hide in.

You want to set your dog up for success, so putting them on the exact area it falls is the best option to do such. When you bring your dog over to the marked fall, position your dog downwind of the bird, if possible. It’s a cardinal sin not to and I can’t count how many hunters just go in with their dogs without thinking that through. It’s those same hunters that were the big pheasant hunters mentioned before and the ones I wonder if they even know how critical wind plays into hunting pheasants: hunt into the wind for the dog’s sake and, secondly, because pheasants generally fly with the wind. Just my two cents, but now I’m digressing…

So what if you don’t have that ideal pass shooting spot? No problem! If you’re in the Mississippi or Atlantic Flyway, you’re in luck. There’s another migratory “woodie” you can hunt: the American Woodcock. Before snarling your nose at me, hear me out.

They are an absolute hoot to hunt. They’re the reason why my girl, after a catastrophic encounter when she was a pup, has turned the corner on becoming a solid duck dog too. “Yeah, but woodcock eat worms. That’s gross!”

Know what else eats worms? All those bluegill you caught this past spring on their spawning beds. I didn’t see you complaining after your fourth plate of filleted, fried gluttony. While I’m at it, those jumbos (perch) and crapps (crappies) eat maggots! Walleyes eat leeches for Pete’s sake. Turn your eyes to birds of a feather. The most highly coveted upland game for the table, the ruffed grouse, is found in the same cover. The first one I ever shot in my life had a garter snake it its crop! It was the best tasting bird I’ve ever had.

Pluck a woodcock and put it against your favorite duck species on the spit and see which one tastes better. I’ll put $100 down that the woodcock will taste better.

Laugh all you want at their prominent beaks. There's more than meets the eye.

That’s what I told my “duck-hunting-or-nothing” buddy during the annual “Waterfowl Weekend” that he hosts for a handful of his friends and family. In years past, we hunted all day for 3-4 days straight. Normally the birds are flying in the mornings and loaf the rest of the day. I believe we’ve only shot one bird out of the 5 Waterfowl Weekends I’ve attended over the years during the afternoon hunts, and that was during the middle of a migration – sadly, we just were in a bad location.

Getting to bad, last year’s Waterfowl Weekend was atrocious. We were in between migrations. The dogs were getting restless. We were too; after the second, full day of hunting without seeing a single bird in the two different counties we hunted, I asked my buddy if we could change up our afternoon activity for the third day.

Instead of hitting the water, I suggested hitting the woods. It’ll give opportunity for all of us (dogs included) to at least get a change of scenery, do a little walking where the leaves were dropping, and maybe put some meat on the table.

My “duck-hunting-or-nothing” buddy graciously relented. When the time came, we limited out in twenty minutes. His grin said it all when we rallied up before walking back to the truck.

“I don’t know why I haven’t done that before, but you got me hooked for life. It took a couple birds to get used to shooting in thick cover, but I think it helped me to key in on the bird and not worry about the cover around me…It’s good for Leo (his 2 year old chessie) too – bird diversity in different cover only helps!”

So it not only helped him change perspectives on shooting better through cover (as this sometimes can be the case when hunting out of a duck blind), but it also benefitted his dog. Win, win!

The next day he also got his first grouse

They also have a little oily, funky taste – just like our beloved waterfowl. And, their breasts are red meat – surprisingly enough – something I’d bet our pups may be able scent as well. I could be stretching it on that, but who knows (considering their olfactory acumen). The similarities can help your dog associate that oily, funky smell to woods, bogs, tall grass, creek beds, and edges of cattails – where woodcock tend to reside. This, in turn, can help to turn on the proverbial light bulb upstairs in their noggins. They’ll be versed to associate that smell to various cover.

What if you don’t have woodcock in your area? Try to walk for snipe after a duck hunt, or if your state permits it, have a blind mate paddle around close to shore with your boat and see if you can jump any.

Another great option is getting into some dove shoots, if your state allows it. Typically you’ll be setting up on tree lines, so you’ll probably be getting some thick cover for your dog to work in. Dove shoots provide the bonus for reinforcing steadiness prior to the season.

And if you’re reading this in the offseason, then you’re in luck! You’ll have the opportunity to get in some offseason reps, then some dove hunting, and then on to the real show when the waterfowl season begins. But, first, let’s get into training.

Hopefully you have saved a duck wing or, better yet, freeze a small to medium sized duck, such as a teal, bufflehead or wood duck. If not, contact a local retriever club – they should have someone that could provide you one.

Start first with your mindset. Always put your dog in situations to succeed, especially when they’re learning something new. Challenging a dog has its time and place, but not at this point.

First, place the wing or bird on the edge of the cattails or tall, thick grass and have your dog retrieve it. Then slowly progress further into the cattails/thick grass by 3 foot intervals on a straight line. This helps keep the scent localized so the dog can find it easier. Think of it like a blood trail with deer; each spot you drop it will retain its indication that a bird was there. Your dog will then be encouraged to go deeper into the cover.

Remember to never just throw it in the cover as we’re not training the dog to mark the bird, but to scent the bird. In addition, it’ll give you the chance to bury the bird under cover, once your dog progresses successfully along.

That’s what it’s all about. Success is the greatest tool in the dog trainer’s tool box. Exposing your dog to success in various cover only makes them better.

I’ll be the first to say that my dog does not have the best nose. In fact, I be willing to say that your dog probably has a better one than hers. Remember earlier where the conversation was about finding cripples?

Well, my pup had a 95% success rate last season at finding crippled waterfowl. Since your dog has a better nose than mine, this translates to you and your pooch having an even higher percentage of success! In turn, you’ll have more meat in the freezer. Plus, who wouldn’t want to add more fond memories with our best friend? There’s something to be said about seeing your dog come out of the gnarly stuff with a bird you downed; if you have even the faintest of pulse, it’ll give you goosebumps.

Versatility is the name of the game. Think outside the box for a change. Quit being a soccer mom!

This won't be a sight you loathe

#hpoutdoors #hpoutdoorswaterfowlpodcast

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imperialsea-a · 6 years

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What is an aspect of your muse that you’ve wanted to explore the most? / Name one idea for a plot you’ve had but never gotten around to writing. / If you’re a multimuse or have more than one blog, is there a muse you wish you used more? / Name one of your favorite tropes.

easy meme for a burnt out mun & accepting.

♛ What is an aspect of your muse that you’ve wanted to explore the most?

hhhhhhh i don’t know, it fluctuates a lot? Though it mainly changes between the worst time of her life, and the best, that being: post-academy fall/association uprooting + yuuki’s awakening + surprise, eva’s not actually dead for now VS. she’s happily married w five kids and has grown up a LOT since her teen years.

Bethy is a naturally orderly and strong-willed person who, after making some tough decisions, becomes totally dedicated to her job as a hunter; she was born into that world at the peak of their society being the descendant of the Averill line + the only child of Kaien Cross who is a hunting legend– whatever his current status may be, and despite having struggles related to the social/emotional complexity of balancing out the human world, vampire society, and her own place in those realms, she remains determined to play her part in maintaining the peace. UNFORTUNATELY for her, she relied too much on the Association– I mean, she revolves her entire self-worth on being a hunter, and when things collapse? She does too. She feels disgusted stupid and used and worthless.

The rug’s been pulled out from under her, the status of her mother being alive isn’t exactly stable– her best friends are gone (bc yeah im including eiri in this THAT’S HER BERRY ; O ; ), she’s so furious (half-rationally,half not-so-much) with Kaien she could actually KILL him, and then she’s carted off back home with her grandparents (Florence + Alexandria) to recover since she’s also sustained some physical injuries along with the heaps of emotional strain. She’s not okay for a long time, but she does recover and returns to HQ eventually. So, I guess I’d like some threads during the time of her recovery? It’s flexible enough since she doesn’t stay cooped up indoors the entire time she’s away; after the first few weeks of serious depression, she begins going out and doing normal non-huntery things. Not 100 percent all better, not even when she does come back, but away from the entire work situation, she’s healing and learning to rebuild herself, and her self-worth doesn’t revolve solely around work/the few friends she’s managed to make. She’s finally living for herself, muh bby i cant– i love bethy sm, she develops so much here

OTHERWISE, I JUST LOVE MOM/ADULT! BETHY. She’s the happiest, healthiest version of herself and has really grown comfortable with the ‘imperfection’ of her situation– I mean, she got to marry for love (after her grandfather tried to set the man on fire) which is something she thought she never could do, her sister in-law is an aristocrat married to Takuma Ichijou aka weirdo from the strongest vampire noble family, her best friends are KURAN PUREBLOODS, and she’s on speaking terms with Kaien so–. who’d have thought. she even survives twins.

The first broken/recovery timeframe might lead to some more flexibility plot-wise / crossover-ish sort of things? since she’s not really h u n t i n g and is existing quite normally (though that’s not to say she won’t pick up 1 of several weapons and fight if she needs to), but- IDK I KINDA JUST RAMBLED / INCOHERENTLY DUMPED STUFF HERE.

♛ Name one idea for a plot you’ve had but never gotten around to writing.

I’m not overly plot-specific when it comes to threading with people, but I’m always open to it. I guess one I’d like is really simple: strangers meet + have a pleasant convo over some form of public transportation / helping the other with something, kinda gets really personal in conversation since whatever they’re doing is taking a l o n g time, and they kindly part ways, thinking they won’t see each other again, then meeting again some time later in an either mundane situation or ‘uh so someone’s destroying the city’-level action. what happens from there depends on characters / story? I had a thread sort of like this, and it led to one of the best relationships Bethy ever had, but the mun deactivated and I’m still kinda, like, sad about it kfjdlkfjd

That, or maybe something like–??? one muse saves the other from something, and they somehow end up getting stuck together through a really bad situation and help each other out. AS U CAN SEE, I don’t, uh, plot a lot . . . o w q ;;

as a sidenote, this goes across all my blogs: i love one-sided love :’D

♛ If you’re a multimuse or have more than one blog, is there a muse you wish you used more?

Arata and Eva, for sure but u knew that. It’s more just a matter of meee…….nnnot writing out their backstories, even though I have it all there. Arata (affectionately called RaRa/Rara ooc–) is a vampire hunter like Beth, from a really powerful family, who somehow ended up unofficially officially adopting 3 kids after a like, 7 yr old saved his punk 17 yr old butt from a vampire. he grew up, wears glasses for fashion bc he doesn’t need them, and is all around a really good guy; he’s kind of awkward and is a family disappointment, but he’s got hunting skills fo dayyyys, just ask the chunks of noble flesh for touching one of his bbys–. He’s no joke my favorite OC EVER, and if it weren’t for my inability to actually be active, i’d give him his own blog. I love RaRa, man.

As for Eva, she’s Elizabeth’s mother, for those who don’t know. She’s a fun character to write, though I don’t much for the above reasons of ‘no bio written for the public’–. She’s made mistakes, the big one sticking out as letting herself get cornered by the president (marrying kaien wasn’t one of her mistakes somehow), and was in the wrong place at the wrong time. As a consequence, she got bitten by a Pureblood, and the pres, being the opportunist he is, took advantage of that, locked her up, and held her prisoner for years. When she’s out, she’s got a lot of recovery to do, but she’s okay in the end. She’s also one of Bethy’s biggest influences, and where she learned her kindness/fun side from. bethy is a kind girl ok, she’s just got a few HIGHLY situational layers to get past– but yeah. I liked Eva so much I kept her alive; I can’t imagine my OCs without her now.

♛ Name one of your favorite tropes.

This is something I never really thought on before, since I don’t really pay attention to tropes. I don’t know what it would be called, but something pertaining to opposites or contradictions, I guess? Since, Bethy is practically a land-confused mermaid :’D and i associate her/gentle tides with water and the calmness+peace it brings her, but she herself, along with her family, is heavily fire-influenced, or in takashi’s case, WATER = NO, IM GOOD, THANK YOU. but somehow, it still works?

Same with her overall existence? she’s a beautiful liar/actress, but she doesn’t lie where it isn’t necessary. she has to keep her hunter/vampire involvement a secret– that’s something she’ll never casually spill, but she’s not really as closed off as she seems, the situation just needs to be right. ahh… bethy’s pretty open-minded to things despite how straight-laced she is, and it really shows later in life. love of her life = hunter from an incredibly nontraditional family. mother = lvl d vampire. two of her children = cursed twins. bffs = no joke all vamps. yuuki…eiri, zero– i dont think she has human friends outside of akemi. hhhhh….. ANYWAY, all of that, it’s far from the idea of ‘picture perfect’ she upholds through her early life, but in the end, it works out? and it is perfect, for her.

Not really a TROPE, i suppose . . . but she’s a bit of a mess in terms of contradictions both personally and thematically. if there’s a trope name for that, she’d fall into its category.

THIS IS RLLY LONG IM SORRY–

#long post #( granny hours: ooc answer. )#( answered. )#moonlittheft

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lilacflamesss · 7 years

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Some Thoughts on TG Movie

Hi friends, so the movie’s officially out in my country only on the 24th or something, but by tearing apart my wallet I managed to get the tickets to the special premier and cosplay event woohoo. I wrote what I honestly thought about the movie and it got kinda long + spoilers so I left it under the cut.

In short, is it a great adaptation? Nah. In this arc itself, it’s also hard to say if it did better than the anime (if we ignore the anime’s weird chronology). But I went in with no expectations at all so I enjoyed the movie while I was watching it and it’s only after thinking through and talking about it over dinner did I notice certain issues.

The movie covered events from Volume 1 to the end of Volume 3 in the span of 2 hours which naturally means a lot of things had to be cut. There were stuff I’m bitter about that’s cut but I see why they did it and I decided not to bother too much. I also would like to add that I’m not too familiar with Volumes 1 and 2 since the only volume I’ve really read recently from the pre-Aogiri period is Volume 3 so spare any mistakes I might make from what I recall from the manga.

I’d like to highlight that these are mere first impressions. A re-watch might change my opinions on certain things and by no way are my opinions absolute and final. It’s clear a lot of work was put into this and it was really taken seriously, so I do applaud the team.

Spoiler warning: Yes, there are spoilers because this movie is not a 100% reenactment of the manga. There are original scenes and there are scenes that were dropped. If you don’t like to read spoilers because you’re planing to watch the movie, I advise you not to read even if you know this entire arc in the manga by heart. With that done, let’s start! / (='x'=) \

More under the cut!

Since I’m the most bothered about the portrayal of Touka, I’ll begin with that. I feel that Touka was somewhat shallow in this adaptation. There isn’t the scene with her killing the creep who was messing with her so Kaneki found out she’s a ghoul only after she stopped Nishiki from trying to kill Kaneki. She still offers Kaneki the meat relatively nicely, but he rejects and runs away. Touka’s cold to Kaneki from this point onwards and there’s still the whole part about her asking him about how cake and all tastes like. But there’s nothing about her saying that it’s been hell for her since she was born nor was there the part where he called her a monster, so this kinda made Touka’s character seem harsh simply due to bitterness over the fact that he used to be human, which is clearly not the case in the manga. Just this earlier bit itself doesn’t seem to really convey any of Touka’s suffering as a ghoul, nor does it really portray Kaneki’s fear of these ‘monsters’ as deep as the manga does. So clearly, the beginning to Touken’s relationship itself here lacks the depth and complexity from the manga. Instead of really having deeply-rooted sentiments against each other which led to a friendship after the Hinami ordeal, it becomes more of a ‘I can’t stand you at all.’ on Touka’s part to eventually being comfortable around him.

The other bit that got me really pissed off was the fight against Mado. They took out the newspaper bit as well so Hinami left the place because she smelt Ryouko instead of her own fears and insecurities, which also meant that whole scene with Touka hugging and comforting Hinami was removed as well, which I was really upset with since I was looking forward to that a lot.

The fight was basically Touka getting wrecked most of the time and absolutely no mention of Touka having the potential to be as troublesome as Owl. Touka has her speech where she talks about ghouls wanting to live on and all but they didn’t include her flashback of Hikari (they didn’t include the Ayato flashback as well actually) and I was expecting this to be cut out like the anime did but I was really sad because I wanted those Kirishima feels lmao. Oh wells. But more importantly, due to the earlier exclusions of Touka talking about how shitty her life was this speech felt a little less heavy than it did in the manga.

Now, the part that really ticked me off was the end. After Hinami attacks Mado, Touka asks her to kill him off, which Hinami refuses to. In the original, Touka doesn’t do anything and only rushes to kill him right as he was going to attack Hinami. But in the movie, he was struggling to go to his quinique and hadn’t even reached it. Touka’s decision to kill Mado felt really flat to me because it doesn’t seem like she killed him to protect Hinami. It seems more like her killing him just because Hinami refuses to do it, which also makes it a little iffy to me because I’ve always enjoyed how the Touka’s part in this arc is a transition from a tale of revenge to one of protection.

Oh, but Touka’s relationship with Yoriko was adorable and one thing I liked about this movie was when Yoriko came to Anteiku to bring some food for Touka and she ate it. The whole part about her not wanting to vomit it out in the bathroom happened in Anteiku as well, with Kaneki standing outside and listening to her. It’s kinda creepy to think he’s listening to a girl in the bathroom but I like how Kaneki managed to notice from this bit how Touka’s struggling to maintain her balance in the world-- they took out the bit about Uta talking to him about Touka so I guess this was how Kaneki realized how hard she was working.

That was long but let’s move on.

They missed out the iconic part where Kaneki narrates about how it’s be a tragedy if he was the protagonist of a story, but I suppose it suits the feel of the movie because the movie itself didn’t end with tragedy since it concluded at the end of Hinami arc.

Hide’s convo with Kaneki in the beginning is cut by a lot actually and it seems he already knows Rize is Kaneki’s crush (he points her out to Kaneki when she walked in). He was trying to get Kaneki to ask her out on a date which is completely different from the manga. I think the movie was really trying to go with a ‘normal kid’ Hide because he doesn’t really show that much intuition as he does in the manga/anime. Though Nishiki still mentioned that he’s a little wary of Hide. But, according to the subs, Hide seemed more scared that Nishiki might ‘chew him out’ for work-related issues rather than because he felt suspicious of Nishiki as a person. Also, it’s hard to tell if Hide knew Kaneki became a ghoul because instead of bringing him to Anteiku, they brought him to the hospital and he was unconscious until quite later on in the movie. There’s no interaction between him and Kaneki as well after that because Yoshimura told him to stay away from Hide, which is also completely different from the manga since in the manga it’s Kaneki who thought he had to stay apart from Hide. Anyway, the complexity of Hide’s character seemed absent, but I’m giving them the benefit of the doubt since it’s only the Fueguchi Arc after all.

Also, Hidekane fans rejoice, there’s one scene where Kaneki just licks Hide’s face repeatedly.

Another thing that made me go “????” was the CCG’s investigation methods and how they tracked Hinami and her mother down from her father. I won’t say too much but my friend who went with me was commenting that even CSI doesn’t do it that way so it’s either CSI super backdated or the CCG has some pretty high tech stuff they’re keeping from everyone else. This is a joke of a point. Let’s move on.

Amoneki fight scene was a let down at the end because they failed to deliver the final bit appropriately. They did have Kaneki not wanting to become a murderer but Amon didn’t respond nor did they hold a conversation. Also, Kaneki ran off and remained sane enough to join Touka and Hinami and help them out. It’s a pity the bit with Yomo was left out because if I recall right, that’s the first time Yomo called him by his name?

AND, I have to mentioned this. In Root A, Ken cried blood tears for Hide. In here, he cried it with Amon. Amoneki shippers can rejoice as well.

Also, I have no idea why Mado’s the one who’s always munching on doughnuts instead of Amon.

Let’s go to the good bits of the movie.

DUDE THE ACTING. I really loved it. I expected Kubota to be able to pull it off and he delivered it as I thought he would. Shimizu wasn’t too bad as well, honestly.

But I have to give special mention to Mado’s actor. One thing I take away from 6 years of being in Drama is that if you’re a villain and you make the audience truly hate your character, you’re a great actor. Oizumi really pulled off the role so well that I have newfound hatred for Mado right now. It’s amazing really, to the point that it felt like Mado really overshadowed Amon a lot due to sheer quality of the acting.

Hinami’s actress as well deserves another special mention because oh my god, I felt so sad for her. The scene where she’s crying over her mother’s death is one of the best scenes in the movie because it felt so real and amazing. I’m really so impressed and god, she’s just 14??? This girl is talented as hell. Also, I’m glad they got a 14 year old girl to act as Hinami so thank god we didn’t get the 9 year old vibe from the anime.

Not to say the rest were bad, Hinami and Mado were just really good. Which also makes that one scene when they were together another one of my favorite scenes.

Moving on. If I have to be honest, this movie is super gross and eerie and I LOVE THIS. The scene when Kaneki first discovers he’s a ghoul has him lying sprawled amidst scattered food and his own vomit when some hallucination of Rize comes, pins him down and kinda messes with him and licks his eyeball (just like Eto did, yes). And while this was happening, the shadow on the wall formed a centipede and while at this point in time in the manga the imagery hadn’t appeared yet, I really loved this bit. And right as it disappeared, he rushes to the bathroom to clean himself up and that’s when he sees his kakugan on the eye imaginary Rize just licked. Kaneki walks around Tokyo when he just changed with his hands so obscenely (in a way) in his mouth and saliva like all over (I think it was saliva, I might be wrong). I think there was one part he went to sleep like that as well.

Other than this, in fights and all those other scenes, the blood and all tend to be really messy and all over the place. The blood’s super thick and you can just see how sticky it is so it’s really super gross when you see it like dripping out of their mouths.

The sound effects were pretty good as well. Fueguchi 1 makes a really creepy noise whenever it’s being used and it’s somewhat annoying yet it adds to the whole intensity of the scenes. When Touka broke Kaneki’s finger the crack was resonating everywhere. It’s probably due to my own bad experience with broken bones, but I cringed so badly at this. And I think there were a little more bone breaking in their whole training segment because Touka mentioned that they heal fast from fractures and they didn’t have to worry about breaking bones in fight. It happened in Amoneki fight as well, I believe. I really loved how chilling the sound effect was.

Also, the focus on that finger when Touka was stepping and breaking it. It’s so disturbing. (Again it might be me being bad with bones, but I was grimacing the entire time and I hated it so much it’s amazing, I think?)

The kagunes vary because I loved Kaneki’s and Ryouko’s but Touka’s kagune felt really plain to me. I didn’t like how it seemed really solidified because the Kirishimas’ kagune aren’t actually like that unless they crystalize it. The flowy-ness and glow was absent, which was what I really loved from their kagune so I found that a pity. In a way, Touka’s kagune felt a little creepy, just like all the kagunes did, which in my opinion was a little off because her kagune is supposed to be quite beautiful. Like they couldn’t really deliever the duality of the kagune, in a way...? If that makes sense. Nishiki’s was really nice too but it was a little too big and powerful. It looked like how it’s like in :re (and yet he got wrecked by Kaneki lmao). But overall they did a good job with the kagune!

Also, the kakugans were well done. I loved the glowing red eyes when Rize first showed her eyes. (And I have to add, the sudden change in her voice was amazing as well.)

The fight scenes were pretty weird though because clearly most of it was CGI. But there were also a lot of slow-mo sequences that were really awkward to look at, but it’s not too bad frankly. I did find Touka’s speed a little too unrealistic because she was practically being the Flash, which is a huge contrast to her Root A run but still a bit off.

There’s a lot more of course, but this is what I recall mostly. Well, this is only my first watch so it’s merely first impressions. I don’t know if I’m going in for a second time when the movie is officially out but a second watch might be better. There were also a bit of original scenes, like one of Kaneki at Fueguchi’s grave, but I decided not to talk about them since they actually fit into the story quite a bit and added on to the whole emotions and settings. The grave scene and the scenes preceding it were really sweet actually.

To be honest, I wouldn’t mind a part 2 made from them or even if they decided to turn the entire thing into a movie or something. I would love to see the Gourmet arc and Tsukiyama. The ghoul restaurant would be amazingly disgusting, I just know it. And Aogiri!!! The Jason torture + 103 bones scene would be perfect. I’d probably close my eyes and ears during the 103 bones scene but whatever screaming Ayato-kun is never a bad thing.

Anyway, it’s late. I should sleep. :p If anyone’s gonna watch the movie, I hope you have fun! Do go in and enjoy yourselves and not be too cynical about stuff. ^^

#tg #tokyo ghoul #tg movie #tg movie spoiler

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hookedleviathan · 7 years

Text

This is a story (rant) about a boy

CW / TW - mental health (anxiety, panic attacks, depression, BPD), hospitalization, hooking up, heartbreak

Alright.

So.

I vented to a co-worker for five minutes today and it wasn’t enough.

Let’s call him DEFCON - because that’s a name of a poem I wrote about him that leads up to nuclear destruction, which sounds about right.

I met DEFCON almost a year ago in July through a friend of a friend. We hooked up (by that I mean between making out and having sex because there’s no way my mental health will let me do a one night stand nope) and exchanged numbers and oh yeah I had a panic attack right in front of him like less than 24 hours after meeting him because boys give me anxiety attacks that last for a few days but normally the next morning, not the during. And while he didn’t know what to do or how to respond / help me, he was incredibly sweet.

Flash ahead to November. We’re on our 3rd round of hooking up -- he asks if I’m looking for a relationship. I say yes, because always. He explains that while he’s flattered, he plans to go away to school in Florida (which is very out of state and very gross) and doesn’t want to start a relationship with someone only to lead them on. Super commendable and sweet of him.

Flash ahead to February. Take that cutie petewtie up to my bedroom, have a lackluster hookup, then stay awake for four hours just talking with him. During this talk, I mention my own mental health & help him explore his own. He had the misconception that depression meant feeling a lot of sadness -- I clarified that it also means lack of motivation, sometimes lack of any feelings, low self-esteem... Put shortly, I helped him realize that he has depression.

I showed him a painting of a rabid, barking dog that I’d recently finished because that’s what I think of when I think of my depression: a dog that I didn’t ask to adopt, that I can’t send to a pound or vet to put down. It’s a beast that may bite me or others, and I am responsible for it, and I must train it, and I can train it. He was awestruck over this painting.

Flash ahead to March. My depression got to be the worst I’ve ever had. I decided to try medication. He and I texted back and forth about our doctor visits and we started on SSRIs on the same day. Like a macabre, dark humor romance story.

Flash ahead to the end of April. He asks if I have a Snapchat. Of course I do because I’m not a cavewoman. I add him. We share some mundane photos. Then, he sends me a photo of himself with the caption “I want to ask you out on a date” I am over the moon -- I’ve harbored so much love and pain with DEFCON, and I was thrilled by the prospect of a date after this handful of hookups.

---Let me also insert: I know that putting in time and energy and love into someone does not mean that they owe you romantic love. My intention was never to “be a good enough friend until we can date”. I have both platonic and romantic interest in this boy, and to have the prospect of growing our relationship in this direction was exciting to me. Because, like, I kinda feel like I could marry this guy. Maybe. But that’s dramatic and obsessive of me ---

Flash forward to the end of May: I’m graduating college, about to move out, about to move into a new place, about to start a new job... and DEFCON notifies me that he got a girlfriend. So I’m crushed.

But it can’t just end there.

The language he used in his text messages to me conveyed that “she’s okay with me still being friends with you”, as if his view of our relationship is conditional, as though suggesting that he’d stop communicating with me because he just got a girlfriend.

He also never once asked how I felt about this situation and never initiated a discussion of what this change in dynamic would mean for our relationship.

So I send him like 500 seconds worth of Snapchat videos of me ranting about how he has been treating me more like a therapist than a friend, that I deserve better, that he needs to show even a fraction of the investment in me that I show in him, that I should matter to him whether or not he has a girlfriend, and that I still care about him and want to work through these difficulties with him.

Flash forward to the start of June: DEFCON texts me to let me know that he is going to the ER for his mental health and will not be reachable for 3-5 days and that he loves me. This is the first time he says these words to me. I know to interpret them platonically -- though there is a part of me that side-eyes that word choice with how our relationship has been going.

Middle of June, around my birthday: he sends me a Snapchat of a pic of a tattoo that he’s designing, then of it a few days later on his arm. It’s a rabid dog. Now, I know that I might be projecting, so I don’t ask too much about it, but I side-eye again, thinking “Huh, well isn’t that familiar...?”

Start of July and yesterday: Radio silence from him, which is typical. If I don’t initiate conversation, I won’t hear from him. Even when I initiate, responses take days. But that’s how it’s always been, and I have other friends with mental health difficulties, so even though I have my own difficulties with self worth and validation, I initiate conversations and interactions with most of my friends.

I reach out and ask how he’s doing. He tells me that he’s been scared to talk to me. When I ask why, he explains that he was recently diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder, and he’s been in and out of the hospital for the past month for his mental health. We text back and forth about his changing condition, and I send him a super long text message validating him and saying how proud I am for addressing his mental health, wishing him well, etc etc.

He decides to call me. We talk like it hasn’t been, what? 4 months since I’ve heard his voice? We click right off the bat, and he tells me that I inspire him. He explains that the new tattoo of a rabid dog was inspired by my painting.

So I’m over the moon again. I’m excited to see him again at the end of July.

He sends me his Instagram info saying “it’s important”, so I add him even though now I’ve got like 3 people I’m following because I just made the damn thing a month ago. So I’m scrolling through the feed, and guess what pops up? A Tinder screenshot of girls he’s been chatting with.

So I’m crying.

And since this social media platform has just become my paddle in Shit Creek, I start rowing. Another Instagram screenshot of a girl asking why he’s on Instagram if he’s been told & understands that it’s no good for his mental health (since people with BPD especially struggle with forming and maintaining constant relationships & self esteem & self image) and he tells her off and writes in the caption that he feels proud for doing so and knows it was best despite her being “an obsession to get over”

So I’m crying again, because I agree with the girl, and also oh yeah been crushing on this boy for a year and also being a good friend to him and oh yeah we’ve still not talked about that April date?

Another Instagram screenshot: a girl opening a convo with “Remember that time I blew you in my basement?” to which he responds “Good times”

So I’m crying harder because I did not want to know that and what? Why did he so badly want me to add him on Instagram? So he could tell me without telling me that it looks like he’s broken up with his girlfriend and he’s looking for some kind of a relationship with some girl?

But I don’t feel broken by it.

It’s probably the SSRIs talking, but yesterday, even when my emotions were rising up, my logic stayed in control. I didn’t feel totally lost and shattered by this. I felt wounded, but still standing. Out of the ashes I rise with my red hair and eat men like air and all that.

And I’m still so willing to forgive him.

And I’m not even upset with him, but I’m upset with myself for letting him have this power over me. I’m upset that I relax all these regulations of friendship for him but wouldn’t dare stay friends with anyone else who would pull this shit. I’m upset with how my own emotional abuse wasn’t enough of a red flag, but finally, seeing how he decides to utilize an application that encourages forming ephemeral relationships despite it damaging his mental health and harming others around him. He is teaching his dog to chew and belch out disposable woman, and I am not okay with that.

I’m not looking forward to seeing him at the end of July at this festival where I’ll be performing poetry, but I know it will happen, and now, I hope to every deity that he’ll be there when I read my poem DEFCON. I hope that I’ll be able to have a long talk with him. I hope that I’ll be able to stand up for myself.

Because for the past year, I’ve continued our relationship the way I want to: with intimacy, support, love, kindness, and asserting frequent contact. But soon, I might have to act the way I need to: by letting him go.

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music-et · 8 years

Text

Nu’est Ren X Reader

You and Ren are friends even before his debut with Nu’est in 2012. Ever since his debut he’s been busy and you haven’t seen him since and one day you meet him again backstage for your brother’s comeback stage on M! Countdown with his group Seventeen. What could happen? Will love blossom or disappear?

I’m sorry if it seems a bit all over the place but I swear it gets better…hopefully…

3rd Person P.O.V

~20 years ago~

A pair of twins was born into the world, Choi (Y/N) and Choi Seungcheol. A pair of twins 5 minutes apart. Seungcheol was the younger twin and (Y/N) was the older twin, but, Seungcheol always acted like the older twin, he protected his sister from bullies and from boys who would go after her, he chased them all away. He took up taekwondo along with his sister and even though she was more skilled than him but he always wanted to protect her, but then, he left to pursue his dream, becoming an idol.

He trained for days, weeks, months and years to accomplish his dream. You, as his sister, supported him, helped him through tough times. You went to school and completed middle school and high school and you were in your second year of college majoring in (Subject).

~How You Met Seventeen @ 19 years old~

You were on your way home when you got a phone call from Seungcheol.

(Y/N): Yeoboseyo?

Seungcheol (S): Ne, Yeoboseyo noona.

(Y/N): What do you want Seungcheol?

S: I forgot my lunch at home, could you get it for me please?

(Y/N): Fine, I’ll be there in 30 minutes

S: Yes! Gomawoyo noona!

(Y/N): Got it. Bye Seungcheol! Have fun practicing

S: Ne noona! Annyeong!

And then you both hung up. You went to your car.

http://dreamatico.com/data_images/car/car-1.jpg

You got it as a gift from your parents on your 18th birthday from your parents, last year. You got home in 10 minutes and went inside to see your brother’s lunch on the dining table. You grabbed it and got back in your car. On the way to Pledis you stopped at the store to buy a couple of water bottles and some snacks for the boys. You walked to Pledis holding 2-3 bags and Seungcheol’s lunch. You went to the lady at the front desk, “Um, annyeonghaseyo. I’m Seungcheol’s noona. I was wondering where his practice room was. He called me to bring his lunch.” You said. “Ah, (Y/N) right? Seungcheol told me. Go up the lift to the 3 floor and it’s the 3rd room.” She said smiling. “Ne, kamsakhmnida unnie.” You bowed and followed her directions.

You knocked on the door and a boy with long hair answered the door, “Annyeonghaseyo.” You both said bowing a bit. He opened the door to let you in, you nod your head in thanks and walked in, Seungcheol saw you and ran over, “Gomawoyo noona!” Seungcheol said. “Ne, are they your members?” You asked. “Ne, line up!” Seungcheol yelled and everyone lined up in a line.

“Everyone, this is my twin sister, she’s older than me by 5 minutes which means she’s our noona.” Seungcheol said introducing you, “Annyeonghaseyo, I’m Choi (Y/N). I’m Seungcheol’s noona. Nice to meet you.”

“Well, we’ll go in order of oldest to youngest. I’m Choi Seungcheol, call me S.Coups. I’m born on the 8th of August 1995. I’m the oldest and leader of Seventeen and the Hip-Hop Unit.”

“I’m Yoon Jeonghan, call me Jeonghan. I’m born on the 4th of October 1995. I’m part of the Vocal Team.”

“I’m Hong Jisoo, but call me Joshua. I’m born on the 30th of December 1995. I’m part of the Vocal Team.”

“I’m Wen Jun Hui, but call me Jun. I’m Chinese. I’m born on the 10th of June 1996. I’m part of the Performance Team.”

“I’m Kwon Soon Young, call me Hoshi. I’m born on June the 15th 1996. I’m Seventeen’s Choreographer and Leader of the Performance Team.”

“I’m Jeon Won Woo, call me Wonwoo. I’m born on July the 17th 1996. I’m part of the Hip-Hop Team.”

“I’m Lee Ji Hoon, call me Woozi. I’m born on November 22nd 1996. I’m Seventeen’s Producer and Leader of the Vocal Team.”

“I’m Lee Seok Min, call me DK. I’m born on February 18th 1997. I’m part of the Vocal Team.”

“I’m Kim Min Gyu, call me Mingyu. I’m born on April 6th 1997. I’m the Visual and part of the Hip-Hop Team.”

“I’m Xu Ming Hao, call me The8. I’m Chinese. I’m born on November 7th 1997. I’m part of the Performance Team.”

“I’m Boo Seung Kwan, call me Seungkwan. I’m born on January 16th 1998. I’m part of the Vocal Team.”

“I’m Choi Han Sol, call me Vernon. I’m half Caucasian and half Korean. I’m born on February 18th 1998. I’m part of the Hip-Hop Team.”

“I’m Lee Chan, call me Dino. I’m born on February 11th 1999. I’m the Maknae and part of the Performance Team.”

“Annyeonghaseyo! We are Seventeen!” They said together. “Waah, what a unique group.” You complimented. “Oh, I’ve bought drinks and snacks for everyone on the way here.” You said holding the bag up. The boys ran to you and gave you a hug and grabbed the food shouted smiling, “Gomawoyo noona!” You smiled back and thought, ‘I feel so old now.’

The meeting formed a new friendship between Seventeen and S.Coups’ sister. Throughout the year you met After School, who became great friends, almost sisters, they treated you like a younger sister. You met Nu’est who became great friends, they treated you like a younger sister, all but one, someone you wished to become something more with. The CEO knew of your existence and didn’t mind you hanging out with his idols and he treated you like a daughter, and in return, he was like a father figure to you and you also helped them model for certain things or appear as a guest in MV’s.

Then a year later Seventeen debuted with Adore U composed by Woozi and choreographed by Hoshi.

~Present Time~

You were now backstage at M! Countdown! In Seventeen’s room watching them perform onstage. When they finished their comeback song, ‘Mansae’. The song was really exciting and you were very excited for their comeback stage and you knew they worked very hard for their comeback. Woozi worked for days to write the song and work on the music. Hoshi stayed up late to choreography the song. The rappers stayed up late to work on their raps. The members practice from early in the morning until the next morning practicing their dance and vocal skills.

Then, they finally had their comeback on September 10th. Then after they performed they ran backstage to where you were waiting, they pulled you into a group hug laughing and smiling widely. “That was awesome!” You exclaimed. You were all talking and laughing when after a while Seventeen were called back onstage for them to announce the winner, even though Seventeen didn’t win they were still very happy and excited.

After they were getting their make-up removed and changing back into their normal clothes. You were talking to the members and responding to the messages when you got a message from Ren.

*Convo Starts*

Ren (R): Noona! :D

(Y/N): What is it? :D

R: Can we hang out tomorrow?

(Y/N): Uhh, sure

R: Great! I’ll pick you up at 12 noon

(Y/N): Okay! :D

R: I look forward to it. Goodnight noona! Saranghae <3 :D

(Y/N): Me too. Goodnight Ren. Saranghae <3

*Convo Ends*

Then you turned off your phone. You didn’t notice the room’s gone quiet until you put your phone away. “What?” You asked finally noticing the quietness. “Who were you texting?” S.Coups asked. “A friend…” You answered. “Yeoja or Namja?” S.Coups asked. “Why does it matter? I’m older than you, is that how you speak to someone older than you?” You asked rhetorically. “I know, but I’m still worried about you, you may be older, but you’re still a girl.” S.Coups said looking down. You got up and put your hand on his head, “I’m know Seungcheol-ah. If I ever need your help, I’ll come to you. Don’t worry.” You said smiling, he smiled back at you. “Ren asked me if I wanted to hang out tomorrow and I said sure.” You said. “Ren sunbaenim asked you out on a date.” Seungkwan said. “What? No! We’re just hangout as friends!” You exclaimed turning red, truth was, you wish was Seungkwan said was real because you had a crush on him but, he was younger than you and you didn’t think he’d date someone older, even though you’re only a couple months apart. “Okay~.” Seventeen said dragging the word out. “Yah!”

~Next Day~

You woke up at 10am and washed up and got dressed and put your make up on and finished at 11:00. You wore a (F/C) cropped top with (F/C) shorts with a (F/C) jacket/cardigan and a pair of (F/C) vans/converse. You had on light make-up and a nude colored lipstick. You brushed your hair out and let it down. You grabbed your bag and you went downstairs. You grabbed some bread to make toast with jam and made a cup of coffee/chocolate/cappuccino. When you finished you watched T.V and then the bell rang. You got up, grabbed your house keys and opened the door and there stood Ren wearing a white top with black skinny jeans and black shades. “Annyeong.” You greeted as you got out. “Annyeonghaseyo noona.” Ren greeted smiling. “So, where are we going today?” You asked as you both walked to his car. He opened the door for you to get in then walked to the driver’s side to get in. “Hmm, let’s go to the park and take a walk around then have a picnic later.” Ren answered. “Okay…Wait, you prepared a picnic?” you asked. “Ne, it’s to make up for missing your birthday.” Ren answered not taking his eyes of the road. “What about Seungcheol?” You asked. “I got Seungcheol hyung something already.” Ren answered. “Ah, okay.” And the rest of the car drive were the two of you talking about random things.

~At the Park~

The two of you arrived at the park and Ren took the picnic basket out and you were both walking together and hand in hand while Ren held the basket. Ren was a couple of centimetre taller than you so the two of you looked like a couple walking on a date having a picnic. You then were started to get hungry so Ren decided to find a place to sit and enjoy the picnic. He set out the picnic blanket and the two of you were eating when an old couple walked past, “I remember when you and I were like that, going on picnic dates, we were so young.” The old lady said chuckling as he husband held her close smiling. The two of you overheard her and blush.

Then after, the two of you packed up and were about to go home since it was getting late, Ren suddenly got down on one knee, “Noona, I know we haven’t known each other for very long but, will you please go out with me?” Ren asked holding a couple’s ring. “Yes!!” You shouted jumping into his arms the people around you were clapping and Ren slipped the ring into your finger, then, he slammed his lips against yours, stealing your first kiss.

~The News~

The news of you two spreading, spread like a wild fire, it was the top news in South Korea. Many fans congratulated the two of you but there were still many fans who didn’t like you.

S.Coups and the members of Seventeen gave Ren a warning even though he was their sunbae he was quite frighten, then again, there were 13 boys there, it’d intimidate anyone. The members of Nu’est and Jason (Nu’est M) gave him the same warning. The members of After School gave him the same warning. Along with (Y/N)’s family and the mangers and the company’s CEO.

~1 Year Later~

Ren and (Y/N) have been together for one year and they were still deeply in love but then, one day, Ren got a voice message that made his whole world come falling and crashing down.

‘Mianhaeyo Ren, but, I’m breaking up with you. By the time you hear this message I would’ve already been gone. Don’t go looking for me. It’s not your fault, it’s mine. I just can’t do it anymore. Move on, find another girl that can give you something I can’t. You won’t be able to find me, Seungcheol doesn’t know and neither do my family. I’m sorry, to tell you this way Ren-ah. But remember, it’s isn’t your fault. Also tell everyone I said goodbye and that I’m sorry. Saranghae.’

Ren was with his members and had he had his phone on speaker so everything was heard, his member’s eyes widen and they were all panicking. Ren immediately tried to call her but the line didn’t connect, ‘I’m sorry but this number does not exist.’ The Nu’est member ran to Seventeen’s practice room bursting in the room frightening their hoobaes. “IS (Y/N) HERE?!” They exclaimed. “A-Aniyo. I haven’t seen her ever since our last photo shoot which was 2 weeks ago. Why? Did something happen to noona?!” S.Coups exclaimed. Ren crashed down on his knees sobbing, Nu’est tried to comfort him while Seventeen were standing there shocked. Ren handed S.Coups his phone and S.Coups put the voice message on speaker letting everyone hear it.

When the message played Ren cried louder and the members were so shocked, after the voice message S.Coups suddenly ran, he ran to his sister’s apartment to where his parents were staying at while they were in Seoul. The Seventeen members and Nu’est members followed him to the apartment only to find it empty apart from the furniture. Everything that belonged to (Y/N) was gone and on the table was a note.

‘I’m sorry that you had to find out this way. I’m no longer in South Korea. I’ve already left a week ago. Don’t look for me. We’ll meet again one day and I’ll tell you why. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you early. Saranghae. I promise we’ll meet again. Saranghae.

- (Y/N)’

Everyone broke down, all 18 boys broke down crying. To Ren, it was the worst thing that’s ever happened in his life. All contact was lost there was no way of contacting (Y/N).

Everyone was quite upset and many of the fans were upset to hear that Ren and (Y/N) broke up. Fans around the world tried to look for her but not a trace. No one could find her, even some sasaengs or former sasaengs tried to track her down but it was impossible, it was like she vanished of the face of earth or as she never existed in the first place.

Ren never found a girl to stand in her place, he never dated another girl. He fell into deep depression where the group went on hiatus.

~2 Years Later~

Still, 2 years later, not a word from (Y/N) when one day, Seventeen, After School, Nu’est and the CEO were in a meeting, Ren’s phone rang, he looked at his phone to see it was S.Coups’ mother. “Who is it?” The CEO asked. “Seungcheol hyung’s eomma.” Ren answered. Everyone looked confused including the CEO who motioned for him to answer his phone. He answered the phone and put it on speaker.

*Start phone call*

Ren (R): Yeoboseyo?

Seungcheol’s Mum (SM): Minki-ah, its Seungcheol’s eomma.

R: Ne, eommoni, what is it that you need?

SM: Minki…(Y/N) contacted me.

Ren & Everyone: MWO?!

SM: She contacted me yesterday.

R: Can I talk to her?

SM: I’m afraid that’s not possible

R: Huh? Wae?

SM: She’s gone…She’s dead

R: What?! That’s impossible

SM: She left because she had cancer, a brain tumor. She went to America for treatment, and it didn’t work, it was her last day yesterday. Her body’s being shipped over here within the week. I was just going to invite everyone to her funeral, she’s also got a couple of letters for everyone. *close to tears* But there’s something you should all know. Before (Y/N) died, she was pregnant, with Ren’s child, a baby boy named (B/N). He’s almost 2 years old now and we’re having him fly over with (Y/N)’s body.

R: I have a son…and she didn’t tell me…*crying and members calming him down*

S.Coups: *silence* Ne, gomawo umma. We’ll all go and we’ll take care of my nephew.

SM: Ne, gomawo Seungcheol. I’ll see you then

R: Ne, annyeong.

SM: Annyeong.

*End of call*

The phone call ended and there was silence in the air, tears streamed down their faces, the CEO held his tears back while his artists let their tears fall down their faces. “She’s gone…she never told me she was pregnant…she had to go through all of that because of me…” Ren shouted to himself crying. “She’s gone…she’s gone…and she never told me.” S.Coups cried as Jeonghan tried to calm him down.

~Couple of Days Before the Funeral~

It was a couple of days before the funeral and Nu’est and Seventeen went to Daegu to pick up Ren’s son, (B/N). they went to the S.Coups’ house and when they knocked on the door there was S.Coups’ mum and dad there holding a little boy, he had brown hair and big round dark brown eyes with fair soft skin. He had (Y/N)’s eyes and lips and Ren’s face shape and skin.

http://i01.i.aliimg.com/wsphoto/v0/2021912891/2014-Fashion-Baby-Kids-Infant-Boy-Girls-Head-font-b-Hat-b-font-Cap-Cute-Cartoon.jpg

“Seungcheol, welcome home. Nice to meet you Seventeen and Nu’est.” Seungcheol’s mum said smiling holding (B/N). “It’s good to be home umma.” Seungcheol said hugging his family. “Nice to meet you too.” Seventeen and Nu’est said bowing. “Seungcheol, meet your nephew. Ren, meet your son.” Seungcheol’s dad said. Seungcheol and Ren stepped forward to the baby boy, he smiled at them and poked Ren’s cheek and smiled saying, “Appa~!” Ren smiled and picked his son out of S.Coups’ mum’s arms and held his son smiling burying his face in his son’s body and (B/N) pats his father on the head cutely smiling. He then looked at S.Coups and poked his cheek smiling saying, “Samchon~!” S.Coups smiled at him and picked him up out of Ren’s arm and hugged him. “You’re so cute! You look just like your mum.”

~One Week Later~

It was (Y/N)’s funeral day. Her family, friends and her and Ren’s son were all at the funeral.

The members of Seventeen, Nu’est and After School had read the letters that (Y/N) wrote for them 3 days ago before the funeral.

~Flashback~

Everyone went to (Y/N)’s apartment, the first time ever since the day (Y/N) disappeared. They opened the door to see the apartment still untouched. On the coffee table were 4 stacks of letters. There were a letter for each person and even ones for the CEO, Staff and one directed towards the fan.

Each person went and took their letter.

After School

Dear Jungah/ Uee/ Raina/ Nana/ Lizzy/ E-Young/ Kaeun unnie,

I’m really sorry I didn’t tell you guys about this. I know you may be angry with me, feeling betrayed or that you feel like I don’t trust you enough but that wasn’t the case. I left because I had a brain tumor and that I left for treatment but I didn’t have the courage to tell you, I’m sorry unnie.

Truth is, the reason I didn’t tell you was because I was worried about how you’d react. You guys are busy and I didn’t want to cause you stress or anything. You’ve been there for me and helped me a lot and when I have stress you’re always there for me so for that I’m very thankful. Saranghae unnie <3!!

And, this may be a selfish wish but may be if we meet again in another lifetime I wish we’d be friends again and that I’d be with you to the end this time.

From (Y/N)

After the After School members read the letter they were in tears and they all whispered, “Saranghae (Y/N)-ah, Saranghae…” “I hope so too. I’d love to be with you in any lifetime…forever.”

Nu’est

Dear JR oppa/ Baekho oppa/ Aron oppa/ Minhyun-ah,

I’m really sorry for you to find out this way. I really wanted to tell you but I guess I didn’t have the courage to tell you.

You’re idols and I didn’t want to burden you so decided to keep it to myself. I know if I told you you’d say, ‘It doesn’t matter. You’re more important.’ But not to me, there’s nothing you can do about this so don’t worry I’ve moved on to another life.

I’m really grateful you were there for me when I needed someone to talk to and when I needed someone by my side so I’m very thankful. Don’t feel like it’s your fault this happened to me, there’s nothing you could’ve done that could’ve prevented this from happening. J Saranghae oppa/dongsaeng.

And, this may be a selfish wish, but, if we very meet again in another lifetime, I wish we’d be friends again and that I’d be with you until the end of time.

From (Y/N)

After the Nu’est members read the letter they were in tears and they all whispered, “Saranghae (Y/N)-ah/noona, Saranghae…” “I hope so too. I’d love to be with you in any lifetime…forever.”

Dear Ren jagi,

You’re now a father!! You’d better raise him well. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you I was pregnant and that I was baring your child, but, I don’t regret having him and tell him I’m sorry for leaving him behind but raise him well Ren. His name is (B/N) Choi, your son. I’ll watch over you as your angel, move on and find another girl to love you and let her give you something I couldn’t give you. Move on, but don’t forget about us and love (B/N) and remember that I love you.

I’m really sorry about this. I wish I could’ve told you earlier and that you didn’t have to find out this way. I know I hurt you a lot when I sent that message to you and left you no explanation so I’ll explain everything to you now. The truth was, was that I was diagnosed with a brain tumor so I left to the USA to try and get better so I decided to leave for treatment but the treatment didn’t work. It spread to fast and it failed and now, I’m here in heaven.

I’m really grateful I met someone like you. You made me feel loved and like I was the only girl in the world. You were there when I needed someone and everything. You’re a very important person in my life. Saranghae.

And, this may be a selfish wish but I hope that, in another lifetime, we’d be together and live together forever, and nothing would get in-between us again. Saranghae.

From (Y/N)

After Ren read the letter he was in tears and whispered, “I don’t want an angel, I don’t want another girl…I just want you noona…I will raise him well…he’s my only memory of you left…Saranghae.”

Seventeen

Dear Jeonghan/ Joshua/ Jun/ Soonyoung/ Wonwoo/ Jihoon/ Seokmin/ Mingyu/ Minghao/ Seungkwan/ Hansol/ Chan –ah,

I’m really sorry. I know I’ve hurt you a lot with this, I disappeared without a trace and didn’t contact you, didn’t let you know if I was dead or alive.

Truth was, I knew that you were looking for me, I knew the fans were worried and were looking for me, but I didn’t say anything, I didn’t let you know if I was alive or dead and for that I’m really sorry. I’m sorry I cause you all so much pain.

I left because of a brain tumor and flew to the US for treatment but it didn’t work and I had a limited of time left on Earth, and even then I didn’t tell you and now I have to tell you through a letter so I’m very sorry. I’m sorry for being such a bad noona but remember I love you, thank you for being there for me, saranghae dongsaeng.

This may be a selfish wish but, I hope we’d meet again in another lifetime and that I’d be with you longer.

From (Y/N) noona

The Seventeen members were in tears whispering, “It isn’t selfish to wish that. I wish that as well noona. Saranghae.”

Dear Seungcheol,

You’re now an uncle! J You’d better raise him well and take care of him or else I’ll strangle you in your sleep…just kidding but raise him well.

I’m sorry for being such a bad noona. I made my dongsaeng upset and disappeared without a trace and let you and mum, dad and oppa worried. I didn’t mean for it but I didn’t want to worry you, but I guess I worried you more this way. I saw you crying on TV and begging for me to come back or let you know where I am or if I’m alive and yet I didn’t say anything, I didn’t let you know and for that I’m really sorry.

I was in the US for treatment and the treatment fail and now I’m gone so I’m very sorry for this Seungcheol-ah, but remember noona loves you and that none of this was your fault so don’t blame yourself and if it was anyone to blame it’d be me. So remember noona love you and thank you for protecting me all these years. Don’t blame yourself and move on and achieve your dream and remember I’m cheering for you.

This may be a selfish wish but I wish we’d still be siblings in another lifetime, but, this time, you’ll be the older one. Saranghae, Seungcheol-ah. You’ve been the best brother I could ever ask for and I couldn’t ask for anyone better.

From (Y/N) noona

After reading the letter Seungcheol was in tears saying, “You’re not a bad noona, you’re an amazing noona. I love you noona, I’ll do it for you.”

Everyone was crying and an hour later they went to Pledis to deliver the letter to the CEO and they called a press conference to read the letter for the fans from (Y/N).

Seungcheol and Ren went to the CEO’s office and gave him the letter and left with tears in their eyes. The CEO looked at them sadly and his hands started to shake when he was opening the letter.

CEO

Dear Han Sung Soo sshi,

I’m really sorry for worrying you and the idols. I didn’t mean to make everyone worry.

Truth was, I left was because I had a brain tumor and I didn’t want anyone to worry so I left to get treatment but the treatment failed so I only had a week left but I didn’t want to come back. I know I could came back and had my last week with them but if I died there while I was with them…it’d hurt them even more and I can’t do that, so I left and spent time in the US until my last day. I didn’t want to die with my friends and family surrounding me while I died and left them behind.

I’m really sorry. But, I have one request before I die, please watch over Seungcheol for me please. Watch over Seventeen, Nu’est and After School for me please. I may be able to watch over them in heaven but I can’t physically help them or comfort them in anyway. So I hope you can watch over them for me and help them and comfort them.

Thank you for watching over me and helping me land jobs even though I wasn’t a part of the company and thank you for treating me like a daughter. You were like my 2nd father growing up, so thank you…appa, saranghae.

From (Y/N)

The CEO was in tears when he read the letter, “I will (Y/N). I will…Saranghae, my daughter.”

The member of Seventeen, Nu’est and After School called a press conference to read the fans (Y/N)’s letter to them, live streamed. Seungcheol read it to them,

Fans

“Annyeong yeoreobun!

It’s me Choi (Y/N). I’m really sorry for you to find out this way. I know you were all looking for me. The truth was, was that I was in the US. I had a brain tumor and was there to get treatment but it didn’t work and now I’m in heaven looking over your guys. It’s okay, it wasn’t your fault and there wasn’t anything you could’ve done about it so don’t worry about it.

I love you guys and I’m sorry for worrying you and for making your oppas and hyungs and unnies and noonas worried and sad and I’m sorry for breaking up your OTP.

I also got news for you all, truth is, is that…I was pregnant, with Ren’s child and I gave birth to a baby boy name Choi (B/N). I know you all won’t accept him but please don’t hurt him he’s our child and I hope you can all grow to love him like I do.

I know they won’t listen to me so remember to remind them to move on and remind Ren oppa to move on and find a girl that could give him something I couldn’t give him. And if you guys won’t listen to me, listen to your oppas and unnies to move on and none of this was your fault and that you guys should be happy.

Saranghae yeoreobun!! If we meet again in another lifetime I hope I’ll be with you guys longer and that we can be friends.

From (Y/N)”

The fans who saw the live stream were in tears at home or with their friends, they cried and cried but they knew they had to follow (Y/N)’s wish and remind their oppas/hyungs and noona/unnies to be happy, “I will unnie…I’ll definitely accept (B/N)…Saranghae.”

~End Flashback~

Everyone walked in to see (Y/N) laying on the alter table with red roses and red petals surrounding her wearing a white dress.

Coffin:

http://i68.photobucket.com/albums/i1/theblackbunny13/H2%20Opening%20at%20the%20Plaza%20Aug%2028th/IMG_1357-crop.jpg

Dress:

http://www.fashionminutes.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/08/Girdling-Tulle-Strapless-Beaded-White-Prom-Dress.jpg

The priest was there talking and saying the prayer but nothing comprehended in their heads, all they could hear was a bunch of mixed up sounds and tears wouldn’t stop falling down their faces.

Then they went up so say a speech before (Y/N)’s body was laid down to the ground, they chose a representative and it was Ren. Ren who was holding (B/N) put him on S.Coups’ leg and walked up to the microphone.

“I remember meeting (Y/N). I remember the time I asked her to be my girlfriend. I remember thinking and planning to ask her to marry me but, that day never came.

The day she told me it was over, my whole world came crashing down. But I had a glimpse of hope in my life when she told me we’d meet again. I just never thought this is how we’d meet again. What I hoped was that I’d meet her again and that I’d immediately purpose to her so she’s never disappear or slip away but, it’s already too late. She disappeared before I could even see her again. But, I know she still loves me and I want her and everyone to know that I love her, I couldn’t ask for anyone better. I know she told me to move on, but I can’t. I just love her so much.

I love the fact that she gave me a baby boy, I love (B/N) so much. He’s all I have left of (Y/N) and I love him. I am still young so I hope you can all help and advise me on taking care of him.” Ren said and he started to tear up again.

He walked of stage and walked over to (Y/N) and leaned down and gave her a kiss on the lips with tears streaming down his face. He then walked over to (B/N) and picked him up hugging him tightly as his son cried on his shoulder crying for his umma.

The audience were all in tears and then, they put the glass on (Y/N)’s coffin and closed it tightly. Everyone then walked outside as they carried (Y/N)’s coffin and put it in the hole and the people began to cover the coffin with dirt as everyone around started to cry.

~After Funeral~

After (Y/N)’s funeral Nu’est, Seventeen and After School went on hiatus for a while giving them time to themselves and for them to have some healing time. That, and time for Ren to raise his child.

~5 Years Later~

5 years have passed, 5 years since (Y/N)’s death. Some have moved on, some have tried to move on and some just haven’t moved on and Ren was one of the people who just haven’t moved on. He went to (Y/N)’s grave early in the morning to go see her. He had (B/N) sleep over at his uncle’s dorm, S.Coups and the Seventeen members.

He went in his car and drove to the flower shop and bought her favorite roses, (F/C) roses. He then arrived at the cemetery and he walked through the cemetery all the way to (Y/N)’s grave. He put the flowers down on her grave and paid his respects. He then sat next to her grave and talked to her. He talked about everything and anything when a hand touched his shoulder. He turned to see it was (Y/N). “(Y/N)!!” He exclaimed and went to hug her but she put her hand up to stop him and shook her head, “Ren-ah.” She said and tears streamed down her face. “Why? Why did you leave?! “Ren shouted and tears streamed down his face. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I didn’t want to. But I had to. It was the only way.” (Y/N) cried. “Y-You didn’t even tell me you were pregnant, you didn’t tell me you were pregnant with my child. You went through the pregnancy by yourself and the labour by yourself while you had a brain tumor. And what did I do? All I did was try looking for you while doing my job…” Ren cried. “I’m sorry. I know I should’ve told you…but I just couldn’t…” (Y/N) said.

The two then began to talk for a while when suddenly (Y/N) said, “I’ve got to go. I’ve been here for too long.” “No! You can’t leave! Not again!” Ren shouted. “It’ll be okay. Move on.” (Y/N) said and she touched his face. Ren’s hand went up to hold onto her hand, he missed her touch and her warmth over the past 7 years. “It’ll be okay. Turn around.” Ren turned to see a girl, she looked exactly like (Y/N). (Y/N) gave him and back hug and whispered in his ear, “Go…move on…but don’t forget that I love you…” and she disappeared, she turned transparent and disappeared in thin air.

~5 Years Later~

Another 5 years have passed, Ren got married, he moved on and married the girl (Y/N) introduced to him at the cemetery. Ren and the girl had a baby girl and the two of them got married 2 years after they met and dated. Ren, Miki, (B/N) and (G/N) were the perfect family but Ren and (B/N) never forgot (Y/N). Miki knew she could never replace (Y/N) and she didn’t mind the fact that she couldn’t replace (Y/N), for she was a fan of Ren and (Y/N).

The fans, Seventeen, Nu’est and After School we happy that Ren was able to move on and get a family. Though, they were quite shocked at the resemblance of the two but accepted Miki like (Y/N) had wanted when she died.

It was (Y/N)’s 10th year anniversary and the members of Seventeen were there with their family and so were Nu’est, After School and the Pledis Staff and CEO. They paid their respect to (Y/N)’s grave every year at exactly 12 noon.

On the 10th year, (Y/N) paid one last visit to Earth. She flew down to Earth with God’s permission on last time.

She flew down and surprised everyone, “Annyeong.” She said as she flew down, her appearance changed, he hair got longer and her body matured more and she had a pair of white wings making her look like an angel. “(Y/N)/Noona/Umma!!” They exclaimed. She touched the ground and was tackled into a hug by everyone, after their reunion they released (Y/N) from the hug.

“Umma…” (B/N) said in tears. (Y/N)’s eyes soften looking at her son, “(B/N), you grew up very handsome.” (Y/N) said and gave her son a hug as he sobbed on her shoulder when she kneeled down. “Gwenchana…Gwenchana…I’ve been a bad mother haven’t I.” she said rubbing his back, he pulled away and shook his head smiling, “Aniyo. You’re a great mother. Saranghae.” He said and gave her a kiss.

“Noona…” Seungcheol said and pulled his sister into a hug. “I missed you so much.” He said. “I miss you too Seungcheol.” And she hugged him back and gave him a kiss on the cheek. And she did the same to everyone, they missed her warmth, her touch, her voice, her smile, everything, they missed her so much.

When she went to give the CEO a hug, she said, “Thank you for fulfilling my wish.” “It’s okay, I would’ve done it either way.” He said smiling.

She then went up to hug Ren, “Ren-ah…” “Noona…” And Ren ran into her arms, he missed her so much, “I missed you…” “I missed you too.” “I’m grateful that you moved on. I’m thankful you took great care of (B/N). And that’s a beautiful wife and daughter you’ve got there.” (Y/N) said. Ren nod but didn’t say anything, instead, he kissed (Y/N), she was shocked but kissed him back, when they broke a part (Y/N) sent Miki an apologetic look which Miki just shook her head and smiled making (Y/N) smile back.

After, she was introduced to everyone’s husbands, wives, girlfriends and boyfriends who she bonded greatly with.

When (Y/N)’s face dropped, “What’s wrong?” Jeonghan asked. “It’s my time.” (Y/N) answered. “What?!” everyone exclaimed. “It’s time for me to move on to the afterlife.” (Y/N) said. “It’s my last time on Earth. Last time to see you.” everyone was so upset but they knew they had to let her go and Ren pulled her back into one last kiss and she gave everyone a hug and then the light appeared. She smiled at them and began to walk towards the light until she disappeared into the light.

~Epilogue~

“Oppa! Ppalli! Ppalli!” Shouted a teenage girl. “I got it! I’m coming!” the boy shouted and the two ran to the park where a big group of people were. “(Y/N)! Seungcheol hyung!” shouted a voice. “We’re coming Minki oppa!” (Y/N) shouted and ran into his arms. “Jonghyun oppa (JR)!! Youngmin oppa (Aron)!! Dongho (Baekho) oppa!! Minhyun oppa (Minhyun)!!” She shouted waving at them. “You’re finally here. You guys took so long.” Said a boy with long hair. “It’s not my fault Jeonghan oppa! Seungcheol oppa took forever.” She complained, making the boys and girls around her chuckle. “Yah! It’s not my fault!” Seungcheol exclaimed. “Whatever…Let’s go play Seungcheol oppa!! Jeonghan oppa!! Jisoo oppa!! Junhui oppa!! Soonyoung oppa!! Wonwoo oppa!! Jihoon oppa!! Seokmin oppa!! Mingyu oppa!! Minghao oppa!! Seunghwan-ah!! Hansol-ah!! Chan-ah!!Jonghyun oppa!! Youngmin oppa!! Dongho oppa!! Minhyun oppa!! Ren oppa!! Jung Ah (Jungah) unnie!! Yu Jin (Uee) unnie!! Hye Rin (Raina) unnie!! Jin Ah (Nana) unnie!! Soo Young (Lizzy) unnie!! Yi Young (E-Young) unnie!! Ga Eun (Kaeun) unnie!! Kaja!” She said and ran to the snow and started to play with it.

~4 Years Later~

At the park in broad daylight, “(Y/N), will you go out with me?” Ren asked on one knee holding a silver ring. “Of course.” (Y/N) exclaimed and they shared their first kiss and Ren slipped on (Y/N)’s couple ring.

~2 Years Later~

It was their 2 year anniversary and they were in the park when a stage appeared out of nowhere and there stood Jonghyun, Youngmin, Dongho and Minhyun with 5 microphones and Seventeen and After School with (Y/N)’s family. They pulled her to a chair and Ren rushed onstage with the other members, “Happy 2 year anniversary jagiya.” Ren said and him and the members began to sing Hey Love.

Nu’est Hey Love: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D1orgemUchI

Then Seungcheol pulled (Y/N) onstage infront of Ren. “(Y/N), will you make me the happiness man on Earth and become my wife?” Ren asked on one knee with their friends and family around them cheering. “Of Course!” (Y/N) exclaimed and they shared a kiss and Ren slipped on the ring.

~Wedding Day~

(Y/N) was wearing a beautiful white dress with white heels and with diamond earrings and necklace. She had light make up on and it showed her natural beauty.

Make-Up: Screen+shot+2013-01-01+at+1.29.53+PM Dress: http://cherrymarry.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/08/ball-gown-wedding-dress-with-diamonds.jpg

https://hillsweddingdress.xyz/img/wedding-dresses-strapless-diamonds-15.jpg

http://g01.a.alicdn.com/kf/HTB12tGTGFXXXXXsaXXXq6xXFXXX2/221648256/HTB12tGTGFXXXXXsaXXXq6xXFXXX2.jpg

http://image.dhgate.com/albu_268422094_00/1.0x0.jpg

http://wedwebtalks.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/08/sleeveless-white-wedding-dress.jpg

(Chose the one you like)

In the groom’s room, Ren had a white suit on and looking very nervous while his members were congratulating him and telling him everything will be okay. He smiled at them in thank, he took a deep breath and opened the door as the music flowed throughout the room.

Suit: white-suits-white-suit-for-men-21

The two of them were very nervous but also very excited. (Y/N) took a deep breath and took her father’s hand and the door opened (Y/N) walked in with her father in hand and saw Ren at the alter looking at her smiling.

Ren turned when he heard the door open, he saw his beautiful soon-to-be wife. She looked so beautiful that he couldn’t help smiling at her and she smiled back making his heart flutter. She went next to him and the priest was talking, and the two zoned out and just looked at each other lovingly.

“Do you, Choi Minki, take Choi (Y/N), to be your wife to love and care as long as you both shall live?”

“I do.”

“And do you, Choi (Y/N), take Choi Minki, to be your husband to love and care as long as you both shall live?”

“I do.”

“I announce you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride.”

And Ren slammed his lips against yours as you kissed back immediately. And everyone cheered for you happily.

~Ending~

1 year later you gave birth to a baby boy you named (B/N). He had your eyes and lip and he had Ren’s hair and face.

https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/6b/b6/d8/6bb6d8cef41dd61d78d22c8db3254dd9.jpg

You and Ren lived happily ever after.

You, in the end, got your wish, you lived happily ever after with your friends and family again, only this time, it lasted longer and your wish was fulfilled.

#Nu'est #Ren #XReader #Kpop

6 notes · View notes

survivoratomic-acadia · 6 years

Text

Confessionals!

Hi it is Olivia! So I don't have the gifs of this season or the player banners so this will be separated by day since I was just an intern and didn’t keep track of confessionals or what day it was when they were posted. Its just all of the confessionals for this season on one post. Sorry for the delay!

5/22

Tim

WHY ARENT I ON THE PRETTY TRIBE! I love Aren already he seems super fun and chill! Certain people... however make me wonder why they are all stars.. jk lmao Im here to have fun and do great!

Aren

Spoiler alert, the f3 is trixie/madison/aren!!!

QuilLynn

So its me, QuilLynn, Two-time winner, next first boot of atomic! I'm happy to be with Dana, but idk about the rest of tribe. I don't really click with anyone, so i'll probably just try to let dana have the social game and i'll just like cling to her coat tails until merge or a swap. I'm trying to be my catty self and form a pretty girls alliance with Dana and Sarah since we are all Iconic woman winners, but I know Sarah will be more loyal to dan, or I think it at least. I'll fill you in more later, gotta go mingle! <3 xoxo gossip ho

Stephen

Its what, one hour into the game and I already love sarah. i knew this season was going to be crazy, it is after all all-stars. So that means no inactives to vote out round one. Eek. So I’ve got to work fast to make those social connections and try and get myself a place in whatever majority forms if we lose immunity. Which we wont. I love creative writing, if we lose this because of my writing I might as well give up writing altogether.

Aundra

"THIS IS BRAZY!! Going into this im ""like Jesus do i want any IOS people in?"" ""theres going to be at least one, right?"" SIKE! THERES 3!! i cant deal im super excited that tim and heather are in the same game as me because they're great people Stephens also here which is awkward a little but i dont really feel like theres any bad blood between us, we've basically made up since IOS . ALSO IM ON A TRIBE BUILT MOSTLY FROM WINNERS. I really wanted to have some winners on my tribe that way i could have hopefully a built in alliance but all winners except one is on my tribe thats so much pressure. And unlike most games ive had a small convo with just about everyone on my tribe/ know them or i like them. this game is definitely going to be different experience and hopefully it will be a long and fulfilling im really looking forward to this season.

my game plan for right now is to get on the good side of all the people that haven't won a game yet and get the other winners out. target #1 QuilLynn SHE HAS WON TWICE. did they let sandra make it to merge?? NO do i want to go far with her in this game? NO is she probably a great person? MAYBE but i dont want to take chances and im gonna be pretty limited at the begging of this game so hopefully the will let me survive long enough to establish myself apart of this game.

Hopefully this game is worth it and is as fun is it was last time even if like time i was sent into a depressive mode thanks pressure last time i think i can take it this time! lmao xoxo, gossip girl "

5/23

Madison

TOO MANY PEOPLE I KNOW. TOO MANY PEOPLE THAT HATE ME. I’M GONNA DIE SO FAST.

Dan

"So I like a lot of my tribemates which is cool because if I didn’t I would have quit night one and thrown all the rice in the fire. There’s a ton of Lago representation, which I’m not surprised about, but am v concerned about. It’s like when you were in like 7th grade and you had those friends you talked to every day and then summer came and y’all didnt talk for a while and you come back for 8th grade and things are chill and you catch up, but they still know you’re better than them in every way.

This first challenge is....a choice. I love Cameron with all of my heart normally, but this makes me only love him with my right atrium, so there’s that. I havent taken an English class since 12th grade so y’all know I’m basiclally illiterate now.

I’m just hoping for a cute little jury placement and play a more UTR Sammy-esque game this time around. I know that eventually the wheels will fall off of that plan and I’ll go into full on neurotic, here, queer, and not going anywheer mode where I win like 6 consecutive immunities, but for the mean time I’m goung to try to be diverse, and show I’m not a one trick homosexual. "

Sarah

"Hey so let me just tell yall im stoked for this season bc im back for ALL STARS!

First season winner and flop returning again.

I adore this cast and the fact that I have been put on a tribe with all the winners (except luke) is amazing. we created a girl winner alliance right away with me, dana and quillynn. I adore them so much!

Also im connecting with stephen and i think he likes me! I will prob be able to control him a tiny bit this season so lets see how that goes :~)

I just want to let yall know there will rocks this season bc me and julia are back! Were not on the same tribe but i adore that bitch and shes just as equal craziness as me

So far i have connections af and i havent burned any bridges with the ppl in this game so im literally in love

Jay will probably want to get me out asap but fuck u im on my own tribe OK

Anyways just like s1 i have an alliance made almost immediately and i have connections!

Also i did the whole immunity so incase we lose they will feel guilty of voting me out WHHAAHAHAHHA

Anyways ill be back later with more news"

Aundra

"A tribe full of mostly winners.. in a way sounds ideal. It’s not the only person that’s attempt the first challenge is Sarah and Sammy helped out i wrote half of one which is better than I bet majority of team has done I highly doubt we’re going to win the challenge becaus Sarah’s story is not all that great it lacks anything it’s just boring but aleast she tried she put forth some effort toward the challenge and I honestly don’t want to go to a tribal that would be the worst also did I forget to mention that the idol system for this season is the exact same way as IOS which I suched and was probably the worst person in the moors of all time cannot l t me just make merge so I can have and isle of skye reunion with my main man tim cause I really need someone that would be my ride or die and I wouldn’t have to worry about betraying me

Also I QuilLynn is a really cool person it would be hard to vote them out ( I think that’s there pronoun caus ewhen we were talking she started using we and what not so I’m gonna call her they/them for now on) and Duncan obviously did some sorta research on the cast cause he came at me with basically my whole tumblr survivor history. I gotta watch him closely Xoxo, gossip girl "

Tim

"Everyone: oh this challenge is so cute its gonna be great

Me internally: It's ok but I thought I'd see it at swap or something its not my favvvorite

Also them: Doesn't write anything for the challenge but some gives ideas

Me: Guess I'll just... write."

Well I just wrote my story for the tribe and trixie drew some bomb ass pictures! It really brought the story to life a bit and I appreciate the partnership effort!

Stephen

"Duncan: Don’t backstab me okay? Me sharpening my knives: Unfortunate Like I love the guy but anyone who asks for an alliance day one can easily become a target or an asset. If we end up losing this challenge I will either throw him under the bus of us or us him to get numbers. Also about this challenge, I feel really bad for not having more input, especially after I bragged about my writing. But tbh this prompt is very specific, and doesn’t really mesh with my style of writing. And by the time I had caught up with messages and read what Sarah had written it was 11:30. Sorry guys."

Duncan

https://youtu.be/5PLE0dQ1mIk

Aundra

"this is going to sound completely under believable but it’s all true and happened day while I was in the the Acadia Mountains on a afternoon hike. So I was walking having a very nice time enjoying a new trail I’d never taken before. It was longer than most and seemed to never end, I almost thought I was going around in circles. When I was finally about to give up my gps went off saying I was near a geocache! So like any normal person I went to go it. When i found the capsule it began to glow. Strongly and brightly it started to shine. I’d never seen a geocache this big so I decided I was going to take it the I noticed something weird on it it had names next to dates on it. QuilLynn- 1902 Samuel- 1913 Dana- 1940 Sammy- 1953 Dan- 1969 Sarah- 1982 Stephen- 1986 Heather- 2000 Duncan- 2012 Aundra- 2018

I had no idea what this list meant or who these people were, I’d so find out. I started my way back to my car but never made it back that day. Once I began to try and leave the geocache started heating up. It became so I dropped it. I would’ve ran off then and there but I started hearing a voice. “Give me what I want and I’ll give you what you want!” Said the dark and gargled voice. “What do you want?” I said quickly to scared to think of anything else to say. “Your soul!” Whisper little voices so close to my ear I could feel there lips nibbling on my earlobes. I got chills and started panicking breathing heavy. Fast. Hard. Deeply. I thought I was gonna pass out but surprisingly stayed awake. “What do o get in return?” I asked the voice. “Happiness” it shot back quickly. “Ok, have it.”

That’s the half of the story I wrote defiantly better than Sarah’s but it’s whatever hopefully her story can pull through with a W Xoxo, gossip girl "

Dan

"Our story is........... garbage honestly.

What happened to Heather’s amazing 7 deadly sins story line??? We got a stale piece of white bread with no plot or anything with just food jokes??? Sarah did her best yes, but when your best is subpar it’s kinda hard to like win a challenge ya know? "

Heather

Wow first confessional after immunity, we stan a mess. So before anyone can get situated we get our challenge thrown at us and of course it is something I am actually terrible at: WRITING. Hun I cant write for shit. But I came up with a great idea that I thought would really sell the judges being the 7 deadly sins. However there are 10 people so 3 would be the ones who find the geocache and use the items in it to fend off the other 7 who are possessed by the sins. Everyone was like super excited for it, but Sarah didn't use it in the writing, which is upsetting since I really wanted to be sloth and be fended off with like Nyquil or something, but aye that's how shit is. Now I guess its time to get these bitches on my side and find out who to get rid of.

5/24

Duncan

so we lost. Obviously i'm not thrilled about it but I'm not filled with rage or anything like that. If i go home first I'll be a little surprised but I don't think thats going to happen. What I'm kind of hoping to form is a foursome of me dan heather and sammy. I think that would be a very strong group at least for now. As for the longevity of the group? I don't know. I just know I told dan and sammy individually that i want to work with them and heather is someone who dan trusts. Sammy and Dan played lago together so hopefully they'll be on good terms. This way Dan can kind of be seen as the leader of the group and if anyone tries to take a shot at the grouping later down the road it will be his head on the line and not mine. As for who goes home at tribal? I don't think people will vote for Quil or Dana as not to stir the pot. We can't vote out Sarah. It would be mcfucked if we did that to her. So that leaves Stephen, Aundra and Samuel. Obviously I would like to keep Stephen around because he can be an asset to me moving forward. As for Aundra and Samuel? think Aundra is a little enigmatic but i like him. I also like Samuel, he was the last person to add me but we've been talking the most out of all people that are brand new to me. Speaking of being brand new. I kind of want to talk to Heather and Aundra and be like "THIS IS ALL STARS!! WHY Y'ALL ACTING BRAND NEW!?!" because I've talked to them like the bare minimum. Do you know the untucked where that quote was from? God i love untucked. Where was I? Oh yeah. Hopefully they don't send my ass packing first. I haven't thrown out any names, hopefully someone can throw out a name by noon tomorrow. I'll report back later if i have time. xoxo gossip gorl. also woo mitch! im going to try and win this for us since we were robbed in alcatraz <3

Luke

"Hi hello we won immunity and that’s pretty iconic! I like a majority of my tribe but I’m SCARED of if we have to go to tribal because I think I will DIE!

Opinions on my tribe:

Aren: he’s iconic! He’s british and we hit it off right away, I think he’s going to make a great ally for me!

Carson: I love Carson so much ahhhh, I’m excited to see him in this game because we always work really well together. He’s definitely a number for me.

Chris: last time I played with Chris was in Great Lakes when he had a premade to help him get to the end so I can’t wait to get my revenge lol (:

Julia: I love Julia but she always makes it difficult to work with her because she always explodes on somebody and people want her out because of it. I hope she stays a little calm this game because I could use her.

Madison: uggghhhh. I like Madison, I do. She just got me out in BBFurby and I am a LITTLE bitter about but she says she wants to work with me. I believe her like...70% because I think that she’ll take the opportunity to take me out when she can. So I need to get her first.

Ruthie: My Dead Sea queen!! We worked so well together in Dead Sea and she was vital in my plans to win and it worked out for me. I hope she wants to work with me again!

Tim: Tim is one of two people I didn’t know coming into my tribe but he’s super sweet! Our conversations have been nice so far!

Trixie: ugh stupid furby BITCH! i hate this SKANK i want her to CHOKE she will be first boot and we made it no secret in PMs we hate each other >:( HEHE JK i love this bitch can’t wait to work with her again "

Trixie

"Trixie's Alcatraz Confessional Strike Receipt #1

[2018-01-25, 9:51:48 PM] Cameron Bee-Culpepper (Atomic Admin): Pls trixie [2018-01-25, 9:51:51 PM] Cameron Bee-Culpepper (Atomic Admin): ur gonna get another strike [2018-01-25, 9:52:02 PM] Cameron Bee-Culpepper (Atomic Admin): why… why are u like this "

Dana

"There are NOT enough horses on this Island Cameron!!!!

Ok but fr me, Sarah, and my mother Quail have a Pretty Girls Only Alliance. This is a strategy Quil and I have used before, where we rope in a third girl and work with her, but Sarah is smart af so idk if she'll just like work with us and not ask questions.

Then we all made a winners alliance, which I love. But the only problem is I have a cersh on Sammy... so we can't vote him out NEVER EVER. "

Jay

I haven't really done much but i want to make the weed alliance aka me chris and Julia

Heather

Ok so when I saw Stephen here I was like " Hey maybe we can make amends and work together this season" Then all of a sudden people are targeting him. Also Aundra is on my tribe which if anyone doesn't know I adore Aundra well I do. But he is having wifi problems which sucks. I also heard Samuel's name which I would much rather like to roll with. Ughh too many icons tho why u do this. Right now I seem to be working a lot with Dan and Sammy a bit ( Wow Lago thanks a lot) even though Dan idoled me out but he d=cant do that this game cause of NO FUCKING IDOLS. Speaking of advantages I got me a heavy rock. The heavy rocks power is that I can throw it at someone at tribal and cause them not to vote. I laughed so hard when I got it cause who doesn't want to throw a rock at someone. I am really loving this violent all star season. I hope next time I hunt I get a heavier rock where I can throw it at someone to get them out of the game. hehe

Sam

Wig going okay so far!!

Ruthie

I'm SO glad that I'm on a tribe with so many creative people, i'm super busy until tomorrow and i'm just READY for summer vacation so I'm glad I'm not flailing about to save myself. I've connected a bit with Aren after not talking to him in like two years so that's nice!

Tim

Their story was cute! But you know gorgeous (our story) next to cute. Gorgeous is just gonna devour cute. [Plz tell me yall get this reference lol]"

Our efforts actually won us the comp.. I feel so inspired to write now.

This is the season that I came to play hard and win. These comps bettee get ready because Im giving it my all and not giving up.

Ali

just popping in to say cam & olivia are the DREAM TEAM and I lav them both :)

Sammy

okay so woo i have a lot to talk about kinda...so i usually make an intro saying how i feel about everyone but umm let’s skip that. The cast is super cool but I have to be super careful because I’m playing with the best of the best? Anyways I wasn’t around to help with the story that much but I did go through and edit stuff I saw...so I did something! There were three names going around today and they were Samuel, Aundra, and Stephen. Now Stephen probably thinks that like it was me that is trying to go for him but his name was brought to me? I know we kinda said we wouldn’t target each other this round buttt he usually lies to me so why not. He took me out of the last couple games we were in together and I feel like he has something against me? Idk. So yeah...and last night i did the trails thing and I freaking got caught by a park ranger for touching a rock. I’m so dumb. The whole tribe knows I was searching:/ rip. Anyway I’m trying to get the numbers on my side and Duncan wants an alliance with me him dan and Heather. But also I might be getting myself into a little group with Dana and quill and hopefully sarah? Idk but woo.

Aundra

"So look im not that smart and all im looking for is the Ali to my Jay and right now, seems like thats not possible. So we lost immunity like i said we were going to because it was obvious any who QuilLynn decides to make a winners alliance which im definitely not going to say no to that because thats safety and numbers for a little while BUT im stupid and may have just leaked the whole thing to Duncan who i thought was a winner and isn't. ik he pays very close attention to things (or at least i think so) and this could really bad on my part and to my game hopefully it wont and all is good

QuilLynn is like a really cool person but im on to them i just have to wait till the perfect moment to strike or to get voted off lmfao but im watching them. Stephen is unfortunately the vote tonight which really suck because i wanted to kinda work on our relationship from the last game that we played in. He doesn't really deserve this but it has to happen to everyone . im also thinking of becoming very close to QuilLynn they say keep your friends close and your enemies closer for a reason xoxo, gossip girl"

Carson

"Wow I like most of my tribe?? Everyone is really funny and I actually don’t want to quit on day 2. Who would have thot.

Being on a tribe with Chris stoner AGAIN is terrible, but Luke is also here and that makes up for it. I cannot wait to vote him out for playing me in Alcatraz! "

Stephen

So I have heard absolutely nothing about the vote, then I ask Aundra. So then he messages me saying he’s voting Samuel, but before I can respond he deletes the message. Then claims it was a link he sent to the wrong person. Wow, glad to see he’s gotten less messy since Isle of Skye, but he did win that one so I should never underestimate him. I wouldn’t be surprised if I went home tonigh with all this radio silence, so I’m voting Samuel on the off chance I can survive.

Julia

So like these hoes so boring. I rly h8 Chris stoner, and I’ve been so high idk what’s really been happening I’m floating rly bad rn but idrc

Chris Stoner

"So I’ve been in Denver! Not good timing but it’s all good cause we won the first comp and now I’m home to socialize and compete.

Instantly me and jay clicked. Jays a cool dude. I don’t expect jay to take me far but I do think he knows I will work him.

I’ve also talked a bit with Tim and Aren. Both are cool dudes. I played with Luke and Julia before, both whom were against me. So should be fun to see how all these relationships play a role. Hopefully it’s not too bad. "

5/25

Heather

SO Immunity just ended and I am a little bit nervous about it. I definitely did the most for my tribe so hopefully I can pull out a win. We had some people like NOT EVEN PARTICIPATE. Like we in allstars bitches we gotta not flop ughh. I feel bad for voting out Stephen last round because I wanted to talk to him about flipping the vote, but he didn't get on until I was in a concert. Samuel I don't think participated so I can prob get votes on him. IF WE NEED TO WHICH I FEEL LIKE WE WILL. (Im Cam messaging to confess while I am in the midst of it I love you hehe) I hope this didn't put a target on my back, or do it. welp time to go hunting for shit

Tim

Um this challenge is so rushed and Aren and Julia are dead!!!

Madison, who is arguably one of the most beneficial members of the tribe so far, sat out and Im not sute if were gonna win!

Heather

I swear I am about to rip out my hair. I got the most points in the whole hunt and WE STILL LOST. I GOT FOR OVER HALF MY TRIBES POINT. I AM PISSED AND AM ABOUT TO STRANGLE A BITCH BUT THIS BITCH GOTTA BE SWEET.

5/26

Aundra

"So QuilLynn is my new favorite person i mean they kinda already were but like now it official because the feeling are both ways and i could be happier on other news we lost immunity again and im pretty surprised at how close it came down to right now it votes are between Sarah and Samuel. Sarah's apart of the winners alliance so i doubt they'll want to vote her out which i kinda do because im looking at the bigger picture. winners are very intimidating to me and the more there are in the game the scarier im going to be. this round shouldn't result in me going home if the odds are in my favor. ( also if you couldnt understand my wonderfull story sorry that it had alot of typos) xoxo, gossip girl P.s. I know that its going to be revealed pretty obvious who gossip girl is when these get posted but it so fun to sign off everything with it so your gonna have to live with it. "

Chris Stoner

Nothing much. We keep winning which is nice. Gives me some time to find an alliance. I still feel pretty isolated because of my schedule. It’s hard to talk to ppl. I’m sure I’m the easy boot. So maybe a swap will come soon

Dan

So I feel like I’m personally in a good spot even though we keep losing. I’m on good terms with basically everyone left. Duncan offered me an out of the winners alliance that won’t effect any of my relationships with them. I guess Aundra accidentally leaked the winners alliance to Duncan thinking he was a winner, but Duncan and I talked things out and all is good. I was aligned with him before them and I explained it was a one week kinda thing for me personally to make sure a winner didn’t go home first. So now we have a target of Aundra bc he done goofed haha. Byeeee

Luke

Hi nothing is happening because we won immunity woo! i have some seaglass which is cute so i look forward to using that WOO! Aren made himself a target by not submitting which makes me sad but Julia is basically inactive so I lowkey hope we vote her out first looool

Sammy

ahh okay so I’m super tired and like I’m flying to California and I have been up for over 24 hours...ANYWAY I did what I could in the scavenger hunt and I think some people didn’t really try. I’m just in so many games but like the problem is I forget I apply for them and I’m like uh oh. I think aundra is going home tonight but at the same time it could be me because I haven’t talked to anyone. I’m trying to find a good balance between the way I played in Alcatraz and the way i played in Lago and hopefully make it far!!

Ruthie

So I’m really sad that a few people didn’t participate in the selfie hunt but I am happy that so many people did and even more happy that we’re safe another week! I suspect that we’re going to swap tribes soon though which is kind of frightening!!

Quil

So this is a MESS. Aundra “accidnetally” leaked the winners chat to Duncan. Now I LOVE Aundra but this has made him the target. I’ve been trying my best to help with damage control but people still want to vote him!!! I’m trying to push to get Duncan out because I like just don’t trust him, idk UGH.

Duncan

its round two and im going home because i worked all day and wasn't able to contribute to the challenge at all rip. I trust that Sammy, Samuel, and Dan wouldn't vote me out but if Aundra teams up with the girls and gets them to vote for me I'm donezo. Aundra leaked the winners chat thing and has basically ghosted me all day and I appreciated their story the first round but if they want me out he can go. Dan told me that Quil and Dana were going back and forth about voting out me or Aundra and if I am safe tonight?? Thank god for Dan. That man can do magic. I just want to spend some more time on the island but i don't know if I'm gonna last in these conditions tbh. The game has only just started and to go home now in round two would be like going to orlando but not going to disney world. Like I want to ride space mountain so badly, i dont want to go.

5/27

Duncan

Okay so a lot of shit happened. Firstly Samuel got med evacd from the game this canceling tribal council. Like that’s crazy, I really liked him and wanted to work with him but his dog passed so he might be in a funk and I just hope he’s not depressed and he’s doing okay at this point. Now at the same time this could’ve been a blessing or a curse. If everyone was lying to me and I was going out the door then this was a blessing and I’ve been given a second life. As for if aundra was leaving? Then this is a curse. But who can never be sure besides the hosts I suppose. Then we get told to drop our buffs. Drop these buffs honey? I’ll drop more than just this buff honey! Ohhhhh hooooooonnnneeeeeyyyyyy! So yeah! I’ll talk more about my new tribe later

5/28

Tim

Im really vibing with everyone on my tribe all of them are really neat. The person I've bonded least with is Dana unfortunately.

Carson

HALF OF MY FUCKING TRIBE DIDNT SUBMIT... THE CLOWNS HAVE JUMPED OUT. I CANNOT BELIEVE THAT I SPENT THE TIME I SHOULD HAVE BEEN SLEEPING ON THESE PEOPLE. I JUST WANT TO MERGE SO I CAN PLAY WITH LUKE AND WE CAN COWIN AND EVERYTHING WILL BE FINE

Aundra

"Idk if I already said this but I was probably going to be voted out because of how I told Duncan about the alliance on accident so he and Samuel decide to try to get me out idk if I would’ve stayed if Samuel didnt get med evac because he didn’t vote lmao what a dummy. We had swap which was nice mainly because I got to stay with most of the people in cool with include my allstars bff QuilLynn and Tim now!!! Happy that he and I can work together this time instead of directly against eachother I really like this tribe as a whole really and see good things going for us till we make merge which I feel will be soon do to the amount of people getting evacuated. What’s up with all these allstars being flops? Xoxo, gossip girl "

Jay

I'm so sad that Julia is gone but that's okay bc I have a new alliance. Honestly I made 0 bonds with anyone on my original tribe other than Julia, Chris, and Tim. So once I joined this tribe I immediately went to Sarah and Duncan and said I wanted to work with them. Which I mean, it's half true. I want to work with Duncan far into the game, but Sarah needs to go sooner rather than later. So my thought is I want to take out Madison or Trixie, doesn't matter to me. And then MAYBE try to see if I could take out Sarah the next time. She doesn't have to go that soon but if I can make it happen, I'd like it to happen.

Dan

I’m so pissed I wasted so much time and energy on that stupid ass game for nothing!!! I love life rn, couldn’t be happier (:

5/29

Dana

Nothing is happening. I like Dan more than I thought he would and we made a cute alliance chat.

Tim

Rip Aren also me, Aundra, and Quilynn might become a thing!!

Ruthie

"real life is SO overwhelming right now, i thought the summer would give me more time but it's... quite the opposite these days! As far as the game goes I am SO glad that our tribe is safe and that we don't have to see tribal for another week. I think it was SO lucky too hehe.

I've really connected a lot with Duncan, right now he's the person I would say I'm the closest to! "

Aundra

"Guess who found a hidden item!!? MEEE!! I found the magnifying glass which many already know allows me to see who someone voted for. This will definitely come on handy if there is a suspected rat and I got to find them hopefully this isn’t the only thing I find on my walks away from camp. Watch out cause I got eyes everywhere lol Xoxo, gossip girl "

Quil

the new pokemon games look so cute!!! Also love Aundra and Tim, trying to set up a side alliance with them that can take out the other winners down the line! Honestly if I make merge with the right people, we might be looking at my 3rd win folks!

Luke

My new tribe is actually pretty lit now. We’ve bonded by being the hosts’ favourites and winning two challenges! Same can’t be said for the other flops. I want to make an OG Bernard alliance with Carson and Chris to secure my spot in this game and make sure I’m not voted out before another swap. I need to be reunited with my friends!

5/30

Chris Stoner

So swap happened! I def feel swapfucked. 3/5 ppl on my tribe were on opposite sides as me in past games. The fourth person, heather, probably knows at least one of those 3 and will just go with them for an easy vote. Luckily we won and I did a lot in the challenge so I hope that keeps me around. I need another swap or merge... my days are limited with this tribe.

5/31

Dan

I’m so over these creative challenges. I rarely have time for them which sucks because I’d have time for challenges that are more typical. You know damn well we won’t end up producing anything of substance, Heather’s tribe will submit something oscar worthy, and we’ll be going back to tribal

Ruthie

My tribe... once again has not stated anything yet. I feel like this is gonna be another mess

Sammy

nothing insane is going on but like we have a lip sync challenge and I’m not home yet so this sucks hahah, I’m glad that we are doing good as a tribe and honestly everyone seems to be super kind and nice about everything. So we def have good tribe dynamics. I really enjoy playing with heather this time because in lago we were kind of against each other. I’m hoping we can work more together this game and I also hope me and Carson could work well. Oh and Luke, he puts off really good vibes and I click with him well.

Ruthie

I REALLY hope my tribe gets their act together this time around. Friday is... tomorrow.

Sarah

I hate my tribe they can all die in a pit of fire...that is all

Quil

"https://youtu.be/vis4R2MfzNA xoxo"

6/1

Duncan

Umm so we tribe swapped and MY TRIBE SUCCS EGGS!! it’s me and Sarah with jay, ruthie, trixie, and Madison. Ironically despite how inactive our tribe is we have the most members at this point in time. Julia got med evacd after the reward challenge and after the last immunity challenge, which we did not even attempt to complete, we learned the other tribe had forfeited the challenge and decided to have their tribal that night. We’re blessed as fuck to be ahead of the game right now but luck can’t last forever. We have had three days to do this movie trailer challenge but no one is ever on. I threw a while fucking idea and script out there but nothing ever came of it. If I go home because of my tribe’s inability to come together I’m gonna have a bitch fit

Sammy

literally like i keep suggesting things or asking questions and nobody responds I’m so annoyed. The only one that even responds to me some is heather...i really hope we win the challenge or i could be going home:/

Ruthie

So Madison and I just did the whole trailer by ourselves and Madison is doing 95% of the work, my lines took less than 5 minutes to film what the heck is the rest of our tribe doing

Tim

It appears as if QuilLynn has gone inactive and our tribe isn't going to submit which is sad! Just send me to final 3 tbh. Also our trailer had a cute concept ngl.

Olivia

REMEMBER THIS DAY AS THE DAY QUIL TURNED IN THE VIDEO LITERALLY 30 SECONDS BEFORE THE DEADLINE AND RIGHT BEFORE WE WERE GOING TO NOT ACCEPT ANYTHING FROM THE TRIBE BC THEY DIDNT ASK FOR AN EXTENSION

Carson

Heather is the proud owner of my wig whew

Aundra

"Guess who isn't going to tribal for the first time since the game started!!?? MEEE finally i dont have to try and vote out someone and make sure that im safe from getting voted. tbh i really like my tribe and would've hated to have to vote someone off i would really enjoying playing with all of them once we make merge if there are people left in the game to make merge with. these people are being such flops and not submitting confessional or voting its almost like what was the point of saying yes to playing the game. if only we had some real players in the game so i could be stressed and depressed / xoxo, gossip girl P.s. i know im not a girl but i can understand why someone would sign off with it its fun typing xoxo it makes me feeling like i run something lmaoo"

6/2

Stoner

. I’ve never gone to tribal yet this game and I want to keep it like that. I have a feeling the second I go to tribal I’m gone. Unless I merge. If I make merge I’ll have some more options and places to run and hide. I’ve tried talking to people and forming bonds but it’s just not working.

Trixie

"Trixie's Alcatraz Confessional Strike Receipt #2

[2018-01-31, 5:16:08 PM] Cameron Bee-Culpepper (Atomic Admin): Hello you have not yet made a confessional this round! Pls do that!

[2018-01-31, 5:17:33 PM] Trixie Stale-Werthers: im so sorry the link isn’t working for me

[2018-01-31, 5:17:48 PM] Cameron Bee-Culpepper (Atomic Admin): Sure jan

[2018-01-31, 5:18:19 PM] Trixie Stale-Werthers: im so sorry but something really bad is about to happen and there’s nothing i can do to stop it

[2018-01-31, 5:18:41 PM] Cameron Bee-Culpepper (Atomic Admin): can u not [2018-01-31, 5:18:48 PM] Cameron Bee-Culpepper (Atomic Admin): Can u just make a damn confessional

Heather

"https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hXmXsntB4RM

This was earlier BUT EVERYONE STEPPED UP AND WE WON THAT SHIT HEHEHE"

Luke

AW THE MOVIE TRAILER CHALLENGE WAS SO CUTE IT WAS SO FUN SEEING OUR TRAILER AND WE ALL INPUTTED SO IT WAS ICONIC! I love the Bernard tribe we work really well together and have won every challenge thus far. The other tribes are messy and have big players on them so it’s going to be interesting to see who leaves tonight. Maybe a winner? That’d be shookening. Although I do like this tribe I’d love a swap or something, there’s never much wiggle room on a tribe as small as this but for now I’m content. Still need to work on that Carson/Chris/Luke alliance. Nothing much else to update on. Happy pride! ^.^

Dan

We won woo love life no one talks to me

Carson

We surprisingly killed that challenge after waiting until the last possible minute to start it. I’ve been really impressed with how my tribes stepped up after the reward fiasco a few rounds ago. It’s definitely nice not having to go to tribal, so not swapping would be best for me. I’m still tight with luke and plan on being so for the rest of the game. We’ve already talked about hooking up with the other great lakers come merge. After that, world domination!

Jay

I'm getting voted out it was fun while it lasted i guess :/

6/5

Sammy

woo okay so my tribe is doing so good and I’m so happy because if we lose immunity i know that me and heather don’t have the numbers....I’m hoping i make it to atleast jury. Alsooo i just did my maze and it went really well. Yayyyy, okay yes.

6/6

Carson

"So... is no one trying at these challenges? I'm really shocked that I'm actually dominating every single one of these. I normally do well in challenges, but I've performed better than i ever have before. Its definitely because i'm worried about my place on this tribe. Being that we havent gone to tribal yet, there aren't solidified alliances. I've also had no one start a conversation with me. The conversations I've started with people have never lead to any sort of alliance building either. It makes me believe that I could try to be blindsided because I'm the strongest in challenges and that the merge is on the horizon. I wouldn't put it past these people honestly. I know I have luke in my corner, but stoner is a huge wildcard to me, especially since he's both saved me and burned me in the past. We had a weird relationship in Alcatraz, and it makes me hesitant to trust him in this game.

Also I asked Luke the round where he got caught searching if he wanted to work together with me to find the idol. His response was yes, however nothing has transpired from it. Ive sent him my search route once, but he never reciprocated by telling me the routes he's done since he went many times before I even tried. He probably already has it honestly, which is fine, I just wish he would be honest with me about it."

Tim

Woo we won!!! I CAN RELAX

Sarah

I hate hate my tribe pt 4

Quil

So im in a good spot still, I'm literally queen of this series, but trixies tribe lost again and she's probably going home and I swear i'm going to be so pissed if i lose a jury vote rn because of that fatass tribe of rejects! (idk who is on it tbh but still!!!)

Heather

WOO Another immunity and reward. We stan the Bernard tribe. Even tho Carson basically won the flash game. King of flash games. I kinda hope another swap is happening soon but at the same time our tribe is doing fine with challenges soo hehe.

Luke

wow hello i forgot about this omg.... we won immunity and reward again that's so amazing! Bernard tribe has been killing it but it's been boring, i need a change of scenery. i need to meet up with my friends again and kill this game and WIN i really want to fucking win oh my lord please let me win

Madison

IT's boring af! I want to pick this shit up! Tribals have been easy! I want to be SPOOKED! Put me on a tribe with people that hate me or something I want DRAMA.

In addition to my last confession, I'd love for someone to call me a fake feminist right about now. Do you think Sarah will since we're voting her out?

6/7

Dan

"Literally so shocked we won. I’m not surprised I did well, but like I was so worried others wouldn’t turn it out. I thought we were getting a one way ticket to tribal, but I guess my tribe is a little more iconic than I thought.

I might actually try to talk to people today???? Idk haha I’m just so pretty and can’t be bothered"

Duncan

Like I said! Our tribe succcccs really bad!! Madison and I and ruthie get to choose which of Sarah and trixie go home. Either way is going to be pissing someone off. Hopefully we make the right decision because I feel a swap coming on

Tim

Fuck my game with this swap huh.

Aundra

"Feet don’t fail me now take me to the finish line I feel so alone on this Thursday thanks to lady O and Cam I think I need wine. ANOTHER SWAPP WHYYYY my tribe was like the best people ever and we worked very well together now I’m with a group of people I’ve never meet which means I have to sit around and talk to them all to get to know them. This is horrible to me 1) I’m a lunatic and going crazy because I’m hella overwhelmed over the last day of school 2) I don’t really want to work with all these people and will more than likely be an outsider because I know NOBODY on this tribe 3) the only person I think I might know looks like Miranda Cosgrove and she’s allegedly super great at everything and multitalented soon to be governor of some state in America. I literally can not. IM SEPARATED FROM MY NEW GAME BFF QUILLYNN we haven’t really talked in awhile but when your tribe is safe you don’t really have to talk plus we’ve all been kinda busy but that’s besides the fact they err my ride or die along Tim IM AWAY FROM MY BFF TEEM I pretty sure Cam and Olivia hate me but you know what they say the devil can work but Normani works harder Xoxo gossip goat "

Dan

Mcscuse me???? Under construction? You know my ass is Charlie Day-ing this shit searching the blog for things. I'm officially crackdt.

6/10

Tim

Now I now more about Maine than myself. Lmao but we won woo!!

Quil

Just another day of me being the most iconic winner! Kinda sad Sarah got taken out but, at the same time its one step closer to my 3rd win!

Aundra

"So we’re voting Stoner out my favorite person on my tribe tbh i vibe with him and he’s cool the rest of these people ain’t all that and a bag a chips. I have to sit around and lie to him and say Duncan is the vote when ik that he’s the vote which makes me feel horrible because being blindsided is never fun I lowkey hope I’m getting blindsubwvaus the cast is basically full of the the people that could never and winners and the winner seem over it they’re trash in a way like come on people this is an allstar season and you sit around like your here just to be here at least act like you signed up to play and weren’t forced that’s really all I got to say so here’s to me bein a bad friend and to me possibly getting voted out! Xoxo gossip goat"

Luke

"My new tribe was a disaster at first but now everybody wants a bite of this english muffin :~)

I have Dan I have Trixie I have Madison and Duncan as a threeway

Ugh my mind"

Duncan

I don’t know what’s happening. It’s been a stressful week irl and idk why I’m playing a game rn. I’m probably going home but I’ve heard stoner as the vote so that’s what I did. If I die hopefully my daughter Madison thrives

Heather

Wooo Tim and I did that kahoot. I thought a tribe swap would mean I would lose for the tribe tbh.

Dan

This vote seemed way too easy tbh. Did I want a comeback story arc with Stoner? I mean kinda? But like he’s also straight and it’s pride month so he gotta get the boot sis. This all could be an elaborate scheme to get me out but in all reality it’s a waste bc I’m so busy in my real life that I pay an ounce of attention to this. (To clarify I do care about this game I just had a super busy weekend full of social events and you know that this boy doesn’t ever have a social life so he had to take advantage of it!!!!)

Ruthie

"I'm SO glad that the people on my tribe are good at challenges! I hope I can do something with the next one so I can show that I'm useful and not just taking up space on the beach bahah!

I have no idea what will happen tonight but we'll see! I don't think that there will be another swap anytime soon. "

6/11

Heather

We most certainly do not stan this upcoming one world. No we most certainly do not.

Dan

I love rigging my random.org so Dana is safe. Gotta look out for my winners after Sarah's messy ass left haha. But seriously random.org picked her. I think Heather and Tim will be a little annoyed that I didn't pick someone from Lago, but if they ask I literally have screenshot proof that I randomized it to be fair with a time stamp so like they can calm down. And if one of them goes, oh well??? I really hope merge is next. I feel like this game is going by so quickly, I am forever thankful for that.

Aundra

"A tribal twist that I really like but both robes are gonna to tribal I think tonight or tomorrow idk I haven’t been paying attention and am more of a mess than normal I really wish I was working with my peeps and not with these randos that are probably going to vote me out which sucks but hopefully I’ll make jury given that we get to go to tribal second it’s all about the motion of the ocean Xoxo gossip goat "

6/12

Tim

Damn it I thought I had a good score in immunity but I lost :////. Congrats Carson and Dan i guess lol but comp beasts can choke (in the game that is). Dana and uhhh someone else is safe so hsbdd. Yeah so the plan is to stick with Quil, Dana, and Carson so ya!

Quil

Idk if im going home or not. Dan is dead to me for not giving me immunity!!! Ruthie better be leaving or yikes

Tim

So it looks like Ruth is dying because of this ugly twist!!! But hey atleast its not someone active.

Luke

"YES YES YES CARSON CAME THROUGH FOR ME AND HE GAVE ME IMMUNITY I'M SO FREAKING HAPPY. This just proves that the relationships I'm making in this game are working to my benefit and are keeping me safe and I could not be happier right now. This tribal council is a difficult one. I like everybody on my tribe but I said I'd work with Madison and Duncan, I said I'd work with Dan, I said I'd work with Trixie which leaves Aundra as really my only option to vote. It sucks because I like Aundra a lot but they don't really talk to me or anybody and it's getting to the point where if you don't try, you gotta go...

I'm expecting a merge after this tribal council because we'll be at 11 (I think ) which is perfect for a merge. I can meet up with Quil, Trixie and Dana, I can get back with Carson and also utilise my relationship with Madison/Duncan. I think I'm gonna make it far providing I play this game smart WOOOO O"

Sammy

ugg okay so I’m on a tribe with everyone that i like so making this decision is gonna be so hard:/ I’ve heard Ruthie tho imso im just gonna go with it....

Madison

"Me: throws immunity

Also me: feels like everyone is sketchy and that I’m probably going home this week.

Am I mad? Not particularly. "

Aundra

"Guess who’s probably going home! Me!! NOBODIES saying anything to me about a vote everyone is “lost” and i think I’m voting Trixie no need to keep dead wieght on our tribe and if these people vote me out they’re idiots complete dummy’s for keeping people that won’t work with them and can’t contribute to the tribe stupid people do stupid things Xoxo gossip goat"

6/13

Tim

I MADE MERGE WOOOO

6/14

Luke

"Hello well all of the conversations about this game spicing up at merge were true because this cast is fucking CRACKEDT and I have no idea what's going on. I'm in an alliance with Duncan, Madison and Dan... Quillynn, Trixie and Dana expect me to vote with them so I'm kinda stuck between two threesomes but Dan wants to talk to me privately in a few about something and I think it's about the same thing I wanna talk to him about. It's about us being STUCK because we're expected to vote a certain. All I know is my name hasn't been brought up so that's good.

After this round, depending on which way to go I want to work with the group I don't betray, Dan and Carson. I think it'd be smart of me. I just need to talk with Dan before we decide what's going on. Will keep you posted. "

Duncan

I might go home because Tim has the fattest mouth on the block. I was hoping for some black guy magic but I just don’t think it’s in the cards. I think one of us will go home and do I know why he chooses the karringtons over the rest of us? No. Also I haven’t really done shit strategically this game and have barely been around socially idk how I’m stil here. Over jay Sarah stoner and aundra? I don’t know how he does it. Maybe if I do nothing in every game I’ll be guaranteed merge. I just don’t get why people are coming after me. You’re not going to like hearing it but sometimes I forget I’m in this game. I’m just now getting my feet game wise but apparently I can’t go in the kiddy look without enduring a shark attack

Dan

Honestly I’m really happy that my name wasn’t thrown around this vote it’s a hot ass mess and I’m aligned with too many people

Heather

"This round is a mess. Heres what happened Madison wanted Isle of Skye Alliance Her me and Tim make said alliance I get busy and cant message and only do 12 stones for immunity thinking imma lose I win cuz everyones dead Quil wants to gun for Duncan Madison and I wanna gun for Quil Tim does what he always does in games and snakes Quil confronts me I lie I tell Duncan we should gun for Tim NO ONE IS TELLING ME WHO THEY VOTING WJDJSHD"

Carson

God this round was kind of a hot mess for me. So my main concern going into the merge is not being a target. I knew coming into the merge people would see me as a threat based on my performance in challenges. So my first order of business was to throw the immunity challenge since I would still be among other challenge threats (luke and dan) if I don’t win. Next, I made sure I was still good with my alliance of quil, Dana, and Tim. Unfortunately, I don’t think it’s best for me to continue with that alliance. So I went ahead and made a side alliance with Duncan. I view him as a HUGE threat to win, but i feel better going to the end with him knowing I can beat him in immunity challenges. My old alliance is full of wildcards. So at this point, I’m pretty much aligned with everyone, which is both terrifying and exciting. I have been on tribes with Sammy and heather for the past few rounds. Luke and I are super close. I have a new alliance with Duncan that was formed to redeem ourselves from Alcatraz. Dan and Madison are allies of Luke and Duncan respectively, so I need to work on my social connection with them bc jury management. I’m starting to see a path to the finals, but more on that next round. I need to go run errands!!

Madison

Do I lowkey hope they flipped the vote on me and I go? yes. at least then someone will have made a move!!

6/15

Sammy

okay so so so I’m at camp and i feel like I’m missin so much stuff happening in the game. But I’m with quill and Dana....however Carson and Duncan want to work with me. BUT Duncan and Quill are against each other-_- why does this always happen to me.....

6/16

Duncan

I think it’s bananas that Tim went home. Well, not really, he broke peoples trust within the first round of merge. You can’t do that. I feel like no one is really playing the game rn besides like Madison and I love her but if I still have a shot to win, even though I’ve done retroactively nothing in this game, I’m still going to go for the W. So if I don’t go home tonight, expect me to start my cocaine drug abuse problem that I had in Alcatraz. Last time I was here for Mitch, this time im here for me. So once I start being active, it’s all over

Madison

"OKAY TEA. Trixie is literally voting however I’m voting bc she’s gonna be gone I’m CACKLING I LITERALLY HAVE A DOUBLE VOTE! WHAT A TIME TO BE ALIVE!!!

Idk who I want gone. If I go that’s cute too like it’s jury who cares but this is hilarious. Idols make me a little nervy but idk. "

Dan

"I'm so yikes over this vote rn. Like I knew I was aligning myself all over the place, but I wasn't expecting to have to pick a side. Quil basically confirmed today to Luke that votes would be public tonight, which makes this even worse bc I have to own my shit. I'm hoping that Madison doesn't freak the fuck out when she realizes she is really on the bottom. This is what she gets for Mongolia tbh. I turned over a new leaf with her for Lago and now it's my turn to snake. I'm gonna tell her Duncan is going at like 9:50 tonight if she has some advantage or something cute to save him, but like I just also feel like shit???

I don't especially trust Quil, but I need her in front of me bc she'll always be a bigger threat. I know I need to flip on her eventually, but with Quil gone, the drama is gone, the target is gone, and I'm a sitting duck.

Also peep the white gays killing all the POCs, I'm literally disgusted. "

Madison

WHEW okay so I knew the vote was going to flip obviously I’m not an idiot. so this is either going to work and make it seem like I’m on the bottom OR it’s gonna make them all flip and vote me out next round and that works too so. woohoo

6/17

Olivia

Dan searched the trails and found 1/3 idol. Luke searched at practically the same time but like with a 30 second delay. Both went down the EXACT same path. Luke lost the idol by like 20 seconds it was wild.

6/20

Dan

"I just scrolled 8 miles through the chat to find this yikes.

Honestly like if I go home this round it’s cool and whatever but I just feel like I’m great spot??? Luke showing his cards last week put the target on his back. Of fucking course he had to win immunity bc I didn’t have time to play Casanova, but like I feel like Sammy can go. I’m in 2 strong groups of three and Dana is my number one. I’m just proud I’m getting at least 7th in an all stars season where I’m coming in as a winner. "

6/21

Dan

"Wow so uh I got played huh. That’s what I get for being confident, thanks Demi!!! I just wish that someone clued me in on the Quillynn vote. Like yes I had been working with her, yes she was a big threat, but yes I would have gladly voted her ass out. She would have easily won if she got to the end just bc she’s a 2 time winner.

I did message Heather and Luke and said I would have gone along with the plan if I had known about it so hopefully they believe me bc that’s the honest truth. I really need to do some damage control with Sammy as well. The only reason I voted him was because no one gave me another alternative. I’m definitely not gonna win this game ugh. But again I’m happy that I made at least top 6 in an all stars game coming in as a winner. "

6/24

Dan

"Oh hey it’s me, Lago Dan, here to make an immunity run bc like I feel like I would have been next. I wouldn’t be surprised at all of Dana/Trixie/Luke team up against me and Sammy but also I really want to hope that Luke and Dana will go with the winners to the end mentality. I just realistically don’t see a winner winning if it’s not 3 winners at the end. The jury is fucking bitter bc it’s an all stars season and their entitled asses are just gonna have to get over it.

Realistically I don’t see me having many big moves on my resume besides the Heather vote last round. I think Heather needed to go because she really called the shots at the live Tribal with her vote and she’s someone that is likebale to the jury. This game I tried to get all the lago people out because none of them want me at the end again. The next to go in theory is sammy but I think I might try to give Trixie the boot tbh. Sammy is someone who could win final immunity, but let’s be real the kid lives at camp rn or some shit so maybe he won’t even show up again.

I really wanted to try to have a game with a bit more complexity than my first game but I think I ended up playing pretty similarly. This time I tried to hold off before winning comps and now look at me I’m slaying. But socially I think I faultered a few times in this game and I’m ready to face that bitter af jury"

6/27

Dan

This could very well be my last night in the game and it's super bittersweet. I hate that it's coming down to this fricken comp. I can't figure some things out because some things never got posted on the blog.... *EYES CAMERON AND OLIVIA FROM ACROSS THE ROOM* but anywho, Dana isn't giving me a straight answer about what's going on with everything and I just wanna die. Like Sammy told me he didn't do the comp, which is cool and will self vote to force the tie and then throw fire making, so like now that this confessional has taken a turn for the better I think I'm good (: hehehehehehheehhehehehee. I love being a two time winner (hopefully)

#donttaketherocks

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