#there was stuff said here idk i lost consciousness

[whatimdoing-here]

NCIS HAWAII | 3.04 - Dead on Arrival

[evangelineshifts]

(This has been sitting in my drafts since feb)

I just had the weirdest shifting (?) dream ever???

Warning: sorry if this is confusing I’m literally losing my mind trying to process this. It probably won’t convey as dire as I’m making it out to be but I’m very disoriented still

Basically the dream started out normal (which for me isn’t normal at all) I was in my living room with my family when all of a sudden my front door slammed open and in comes my older brother- my older brother who DIED SIX YEARS AGO. I did have it in mind to manifest him being alive again but I was gobsmacked. He comes in and everyone acts normal as if he’d never left and I audibly went “oh my god” in the most horrified voice ever and they all looked at me and I ran upstairs to my room (which also hasn’t been my room up there in years) and went to grab my phone which was still like modern to these times. My Lock Screen was different and stuff but like I could read everything on the screen. Which is weird cause in dreams you shouldn’t be able to do that. Everything was clear I read the date it said it was Wednesday, December 8. I fuckin lost it I was going insane. I was like crying cause I was overwhelmed and I went to google and I searched up what year it was (idk why I didn’t just go to calendar but I was distressed). It said it was 2016 which I thought was a bit weird cause I didn’t manifest I wanted to go back to 2016 I wanted to go back to 2021 when I was 15 but I didn’t complain cause my brother was back. (Woke up and checked if Dec 8 was on a Wednesday in 2016. It wasn’t but it was in 2021 😭😭)

So I went to snap chat and checked my friends list and there where tons of new people that I had sent pics too but I was looking for one in particular- the girl I script to be my bsf in every DR that I wanted to manifest was real here and lo and behold, there’s her name “Savanna 😊🙈” i was 🫨 so anyways the dream goes on and looking back at it, it didn’t make as much sense as I thought it did at the time but I was sort of confused then too cause things weren’t how I wanted only half like it. So I told someone (who I think was meant to be savanna but looked nothing like her) about what was going on and I told her “I haven’t always been here” and she went “yes you have 🤨” and I went “no like this current awareness, this consciousness hasn’t always been here” and she just looked at me blankly and went “ok” and kept walking while I was loosing my shit. I saw friends from my dr that I wanted to manifest into this reality and my bf from my better cr dr and he called me over to him and he literally just held me and looked at me with the biggest smile but then I realized he didn’t look like my boy. Like his hair was lighter and his eyes were brown not bluish green like usual so I like decided to go away and look for other people. I found Jules (Leblanc) and she’s my best friend in a ton of my drs and ran over to her like practically sobbing cause I was so confused cause everything seemed clear and yet not at the same time and it feel like my brain was exploding and she just hugged me and listened as I babbled on about how I just woke up in the wrong year and my dead brother was suddenly alive and nothing was exactly how I wanted it yet it was close???? I was just so confused and overwhelmed and everyone was really supportive and trying to comfort me as I was literally losing my mind but I could visibly see the confusion on their faces which made me more distressed cause I didn’t understand. And then after awhile the dream got. all weird again. If anyone and I mean ANYONE has any ideas of what the fuck this could’ve been I’d be open to theories cause a whole month later and I still got nothing 😊

[withthewindinherfootsteps]

I loved your meta about lwj discovering his own identity over time. It got me thinking - how about lxc in a similar(ish) way?

Imo he also starts out similar to lwj - as the first jade, defined by his ability to be the perfect disciple, etc. Then during sunshot he seems to develop as his own person more - all the stuff in the novel about him being a source of hope etc. And then, post time-skip, he's sort of... just the lan sect leader. Idk, I see him as sort of losing that individual identity when he fully takes on the sect leader role. I guess he might still be trying to keep some of his individuality as part of the venerated triad, but it's still part of a group instead of being 'himself'. And of course at the end of canon he's lost that too, so...

What do you think?

Thank you so much!

One thing we first need to consider about Lan Xichen is that he’s not a main character, and when it comes down to it, isn’t that important to Wei Wuxian. That means the novel itself doesn’t focus as much on him — reputation in the eyes of others or otherwise — in as much detail as it does on people like Lan Wangji, so even if he did grow, we wouldn’t see as much of it. We get more focus on him throughout the Sunshot Campaign partly because a lot of what we see of the actual Sunshot Campaign is through Nie Mingjue’s eyes — someone who does have very close ties to him*. That could very much affect the way he seems to be growing more in depth during that time, and losing that depth afterwards.

That being said, there are other factors that could play into this. Firstly, unlike Lan Wangji, Lan Xichen is a Sect Leader. No matter what he does, he will be defined by that, unlike Lan Wangji who is still very high status but is ultimately able to choose his identity himself, because being the second son of a Sect Leader may decide one’s status, but not their role… which is something being Sect Leader very much does do. Lan Xichen has the ability to define himself as ‘a good Sect Leader’ or ‘a unique Sect Leader’ or whatever else, but ‘Sect Leader’ will be a part of that. 

…However, Lan Xichen’s personality also plays a role in how he seems not to have grown as much. He has one very understandable problem— he doesn’t like to face things outside of his comfort zone.

We see this the most in his attitudes to other people. He doesn’t want to challenge his view of Jin Guangyao and face the fact he may be a bad person, because that would mean accepting something he’s not comfortable with. He doesn’t want to think about the reasons his parents did what they did, because he doesn’t want to be faced with the fact that someone — whether among his parents or among the wider Lan clan — was culpable, and it’s easier to keep futilely believing nobody was (there was a very good meta about this, but I can’t find it or remember who it was by, so if anyone knows what it is please tell me and I’ll link it here). This is what he says about his mother when he’s talking to Wei Wuxian: 

Lan XiChen, “In my memories, Mother had indeed been so. I do not know why she did such a thing back then. And, in truth, I…”

He took a deep breath before confessing, “I do not want to know either.”

- Chapter 64, EXR translation 

And I don’t blame him for this! He doesn’t want to face the possibility that the people he trusts, the people whose memory he cherishes, the system he’s a part of, have been in the wrong this whole time, and have done that consciously. Like I said before, it’s very, very understandable.

…But not being willing to face conflicting worldviews does hinder one’s capacity for growth, and in Lan Xichen’s case I think this is the key reason he doesn’t seem to grow much post-Sunshot. In and leading up to the Sunshot Campaign, he was thrown out of his comfort zone without choice. His home was burned, his clan was in chaos, the world was embroiled in a violent war — he had no choice but to accept and adapt to that, and to confront things outside of what he was comfortable with, if he wanted him and his sect to survive.

But afterwards? The world is similar enough to what it was before, and he’s free to act the way he’s always had, as part of upper-class society. He doesn’t have to confront any facts or worldviews that challenge his own, and because he’s free to avoid it, he does. And he doesn’t really grow or change because of that.

At the end of the novel, the pattern repeats. He’s forced to confront facts and start to grow as a person, contemplating his actions, because he had no other option. When he sees with his own eyes Jin Guangyao killed Nie Mingjue, how can he avoid confronting that fact?

Lan Xichen is a character who does want to do good, and who does definitely has the capacity to grow as a person. But that only happens when he’s forced into a situation where he has to confront something, because he isn’t willing to confront things outside his worldview, and so doesn’t grow.

And he doesn’t seem to develop because of that.

—

*I checked to make sure, and the part where it talks about Lan Xichen becoming a ray of hope in the Sunshot Campaign is in those flashbacks (Guile 3), leading up to his appearance.

[uhbasicallyjustmilex]

8, 10, 18, 19 and 30 for the writing thing !

8) do you listen to music while you write? if so, share a song that's been inspiring you lately

almost always, unless i'm editing! i find listening to music really helps put me in a focused headspace and gets my creativity flowing. right now for the fic i've been working on i've been listening to a lot of miles kane's solo stuff, "loaded" and "rearrange" in particular have inspired the me for getting into his headspace for here comes the sun!

10) do you enjoy writing dialogue, exposition or plot the most?

hmmm... plot would definitely come last - my writing (fanfic or otherwise) isn't generally very plot driven, it's usually much more character centric. it's honestly hard to pick whether i enjoy dialogue or exposition more! when the dialogue flows just right i find it one of the most captivating things to write and it can also be one of the parts of my stories that needs the least editing later; i love how the characters just take on a life of their own and speak things into existence that i don't consciously plan but are so integral to their arc. but exposition can also be so satisfying to write - i can sometimes get really lost in it and end up surprising myself with the things that subconsciously come to the foreground, and i love that exploration.

18) what's a line/scene you're really proud of? give us the dvd commentary for that scene?

oh this is a GREAT question. as this is my am/tlsp tumblr, i'll stick to talking about my milex fic. a scene i'm really proud of i did recently is one from chapter two of here comes the sun, where alex is drunkenly rambling to miles while actually saying a lot of stuff that's really significant to his character and their relationship, e.g. about feeling two people's worth of stuff when he's with miles and that blurred line between them that he's struggling to navigate as much as miles is:

"happy with you isn't like happy with anyone else, and it makes happy with anyone else seem - less. is that terrible to say? it feels like maybe it should be, but it's the truth. everything - it's just more with you, y'know? like i'm feeling two people's worth of stuff at once."

this was one of those scenes that just flowed out so naturally as i was writing it; it wasn't planned at all, but something about it just clicked and when i read back over it i was like, yeah, this feels like exactly the scene that needed to happen between them. idk, it was just a scene where i felt really in tune with both characters as i was writing, and that's honestly when i love writing most and also when i feel like i write my best

19) who is the easiest/hardest character for you to write about? why?

again, i'll stick to talking about milex because of this account. i think honestly it fluctuates; in some ways, alex is easiest for me because i feel like i relate to the world a little more like him, so it feels more natural to imagine how he might see things. miles seems much more impulsive and open which is less like me, so i find it a bit daunting to write him sometimes because i worry i won’t get his way of thinking right. that being said, i did pick miles's perspective to write from partly because i relate to him a little less personality wise - i think writing from alex's perspective would be a challenge for me because i'd get maybe too caught up in projecting my own stuff onto something that feels already quite similar, whereas miles feels different enough that it's easier for me to keep it separate and just focus on the characters, if that makes any sense? sorry, i feel like that was a super ramble answer lol

30) tell us an idea for a long fic you want to write in the future

ooooh okay! so this is already in the works as the fic i'll be working on after i complete here comes the sun. it's a humbug era multi chapter milex, where alex comes to stay at miles's place in london for a couple weeks after a break-up in LA. it's going to be full of pining, miscommunication, domesticity, the concept of home, and slow burn friends to lovers - and i'm stupidly excited about it!

thank you so much for asking these - it was a lot of fun and actually really interesting/helpful to reflect on my writing process! 💗 (sorry for the super long answers, i tried to keep it short but i could honestly talk forever about writing and characterisation lol)

[celamoon]

*kicks legs* I'M IN LOVE WITH MIZUKI (more oc rambles)

she grew up around rich ppl right

so at first she didn't charge money she just requested that they pay her back with each session with like a lesson in smth

that said, she plays piano

i don't remember if I said that

she also plays the organ bc rich ppl do rich ppl things

and horseback riding

and she basically has the education of an elite as a result

voice, piano, violin, organ, you name it she's probably learned it

she's only mediocre at all of them tho like she can play but she can't do anything else

why? She also includes music therapy in her course of therapies offered

do I talk enough abt her and Matsuda? yes? well here's more

I have this feeling that the two of them didn't get along that well until like idk at least a semester into the schoolyear

Her sister told her to make up with him bc he started talking shit abt her to the steering committee and that was not good

so they made up

yay!!

so the real question is how did Mizuki fall for Matsuda? Easy. EASY

mere exposure effect

she's very keen with emotions and picked up pretty early on that the two of them had really good chemistry

and he liked her first anyway so she was like I like him too!!!

BOOM. Dating.

can you tell I haven't put much thought into why she likes him idk why she'd like him maybe it's the way he stirred Hinata's brain like a latte

Or the fact that the two of them worked on the kamukura project together

either way the two of them aren't actually that toxic for each other without Junko in the picture

with Junko tho? WITH JUNKO THO???

World's most toxic couple fr

the two of them worked together to repress her memories as Ryoko and Mizuki was too enamored with Matsuda to think too much of Mukuro pining the murders on Ryoko

Until Matsuda's dead ofc

and then whole hand thing bc Mizuki was the one who sneaked Kamukura out n stuff u know

so he paid her back by replacing her hand with Matsuda's

mentally ill girlie

Mizuki's fav food is pesto pasta idk why

And her fav luxury brands r Chanel n Dior bc she's basic asf and her childhood best friend bought her first luxury bag from Chanel

Her childhood friends are all dead btw they died during the tragedy

but she kept in contact with them until the tragedy

technically if you squint hard enough she never reaches self actualization in canonverse

like if Matsuda lived she would've been able to but he died just at the worst part of her life possible

and if you think hard enough about it she's lost every single important person to her in her life

In the FF she works as a therapist and is the head of her division

but she kinda just fades in and out of consciousness while working bc she doesn't rlly know why she's still alive type of stuff :(

wow that turned angsty fast wth

[an-theduckin]

OKOKOK SO uh did you saw that one edit of my cat I made ?

Anyway if not here it is

At first I only did it bc I was bored but then I lost control and she became an oc so HERE'S MOCO!! (I'll make an actual drawn ref sheet soon lol)

the lore is a bit messy for now, only started thinking about it in science class two hours ago I'm making up most of this shit while I'm writing this lol but here's what I got so far:

Humanity (in like the future) realized they fucked up earth beyond repair so they build a whole ass planet far away but then they realize having to take "care" of a whole planet isn't easy so they build a robot to do it for them, they give the robot a big room in the center of the earth where it do everything and it never saw the sun in real life (bc ofc imma traumatize theses guys to hell<3)

Meanwhile in the past (??) while the human are still on a spaceship to find where they gonna build they're planet, one of the windows get a lil fucked up and open accidentally, they close it before any bad damages happen but Moco, one of the emotional support pets get sucked into space

Then bc of some space science idk I'm not a NASA scientist and does science even matters when your main character is a cat with butterfly wings and goat horns Moco spend way less time into space than time actually pass. Like for her it feels like a few days but for the humans on their planet it feels like thousands of years yk yk

fast forward even on their new planet the humans fuck up Again and this time they all die, leaving Nara alone for idk how many fucking years (oh uh Nara's the robot btw)

Moco crash on the planet and Nara can speak to her through radio stuff around the planet and she guides her through it so she doesn't die (and totally doesn't get gay for her who said that)

THENN Moco is an idiot so she still die but turns out Nara can control time (only on the planet) and make it go back so Moco lives again (she doesn't make humanity live again because Turns out! Robots they build actually have a consciousness but they didn't realized it so Nara literally spend 50k+ years alone and is traumatized!)

rest is basically Moco finds how to get to Nara "office" (?) and helps her with her mental health and they gay and yeah I didn't thought of that part much for now but HEY! Gay alien cats!!

YOOOO THATS SICK AS HELL I LOVE IT

[slaygentford]

professor antonius sorry if this is a stupid question but do you have any advice for someone who like. has never Got poetry. ik ik there’s tons of diff styles and aesthetics and what not but im missing something. i have several collections and i enjoy reading them but i feel like so much goes over my head until i read someone else’s analysis and i’m like o okay ,

This isn’t stupid I bet just no one ever walked you through close reading. Also I get this question ALL the time so I'm going to actually give a real answer for once wow. Also nobody reblog this because I don't want people like,. You know how this website is. People with their opinions. And I am too smart and good at my job to be like, made subject to that frankly. anyway So close reading is basically about tensions. Tension is stuff that doesn’t match up and it leads to two questions: WHY is that tension here, and what does that tension DO. Here is a picture

Dutch masters nice. This is called landscape with the fall of icarus. What tensions do you notice here. Well one I would say the fact that there’s this super pretty pastoralish scene and then on the bottom right icarus’s little leggy is sticking out of the water cuz his wings melted and he fell in! Like these things don’t fit together right? So what does that DO? Well it shuttles icarus off to the side, literally. It forefronts daily working life w that guy and his horse and makes icarus kind of a side note that no one in the painting seems to be noticing. So what conclusions can we draw about that? Maybe that we don’t notice extraordinary things happening. Maybe that mythology isn’t that important after all. What do u think?

Okay let’s look at a poem. I literally rn have Forrest gander open and I just reread beckoned

At which point my grief-sounds ricocheted outside of language.

Something like a drifting swarm of bees.

At which point in the tetric silence that followed

I was swarmed by those bees and lost consciousness.

At which point there was no way out for me either.

At which point I carried on in a semi-coma, dreaming I was awake, avoiding friends and puking, plucking stingers from my face and arms.

At which point her voice was pinned to a backdrop of vaporous color.

At which point the crane's bustles flared.

At which point, coming to, I knew I'd pay the whole flag-pull fare.

At which point the driver turned and said it doesn't need to be your fault for it to break you.

At which point without any lurching commencement, he began to play a vulture-bone flute.

At which point I grew old and it was like ripping open the beehive with my hands again.

At which point I conceived a realm more real than life.

At which point there was at least some possibility.

Some possibility, in which I didn't believe, of being with her once more.

okay, meaty. wow. I like this poem im just now working through this collection. anyways so what's some tensions. Well I think personally one is this repetition of "at which point" (look out for stuff that is repeated btw or just anything that seems to be drawing attention to itself). I think at which point is interesting not just cuz it keeps being repeated but because (jeopardy theme while I let you think about it) because it's like the middle of a sentence? like the first line starts "at which point" and that's like, a phrase thats supposed to connect stuff and it's just like... the beginning.

TENSION: first line and each following line (except the last) starts in media res, with the inciting incident unmentioned, which is weird.

what does this tension seem to DO? well it's kind of confusing cuz idk what happened at first. the incident is withheld from us. What can we CONCLUDE from the incident being withheld from us? maybe that the incident itself is too hard or even IMPOSSIBLE to put into language (which the first line kind of alludes to)?

and now I have more questions which are adjacent: why IS "at which point" repeated? what's the effect of repetition? does it gain or lose impact? does its meaning change as the poem continues? does the incident to which it refers change or stay the same? much 2 consider.........

okay so. 1) tension where? 2) tension why? 3) conclusion what? obv some stuff is like BLATANT juxtaposition like in the painting which is easier to parse. other times you have to forage in the text a little for tension by looking for repetition, or weird rhyme, or form, or where a line breaks, or an object that seems important. keep asking "why" and "how" and don't be thinking like, x MEANS that y. always b asking questions.

[serowotonin]

˗ˏˋ 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝘀𝗮𝘄 𝘀𝘁𝗮𝗿𝘀 ˎˊ˗

𝗰𝗵𝗮𝗿𝗮𝗰𝘁𝗲𝗿 ` sakusa kiyoomi ` 𝘄𝗼𝗿𝗱 𝗰𝗼𝘂𝗻𝘁 ` 1.2k ` 𝗴𝗲𝗻𝗿𝗲 ` pure crack ` 𝗳𝗼𝗿𝗺𝗮𝘁 ` hcs `

𝗻𝗼𝘁𝗲 ` umm idk what this is.. lowkey based off real events? midnight ramblings? yeah that kind of thing i guess... also big thank you to @kaguol​  for giving this a read (⁄ ⁄•⁄ω⁄•⁄ ⁄) `

it was sports day at your school and most of the events were over and done with but the teachers didnt allow anyone to leave yet cuz,,,, reasons✨

which is why some of the students kinda just flocked to the gym to chill and maybe play around

that was until somebody suggested they host an unofficial, volleyball game

the net was still up nobody bothered to put it down so yeaahhh

rules of the game were simple: there were none, except keep the ball in the air and get it over the net…however you can

at first only a few ppl played… the “energetic” and “athletic” ones and it still seemed like a typical volleyball game

then more ppl started joining

and it slowly started getting more chaotic

it got to the point where the entire gym was the court

there were ppl running around chasing the ball, others just hitting it as hard as they can in practically any direction, then there were those who just stood there cuz everyone else was standing there so why not ??

now sakusa didn’t want to be there

he was tired because his class had signed him up for ALL the running events

why? well cuz he was tHe OnLy AtHLeCtiC PeRsOn in his class

utter bullshit btw

he plays volleyball hes not a runner

but still ended up winning tons of races just cuz… it was him💅✨ no explanation needed

n e wayss he was tired and wanted nothing more than to go home and take a nice long shower

but ofc the students of itachiyama wouldn’t let him

some of them dragged him into the game early on

again, because he was aThLeTiC ~

but this time they actually got the sport right lolol

honestly he was lowkey annoyed at how un-volleyball the game started to become but continued playing it anyway

it was hilarious how the others tried to receive even his weakest, half-assed spikes

sakusa always made sure to aim his spikes directly at ppl’s arms tho

not out of consideration for their pride or anything no no 

it was cuz whenever the ball touched the ground the ENTIRE gym groaned rlly loud and there’d be ppl going “NOOOOOOOO” 

and that annoyed tf out of him so he was nice with his spikes

then there was you

you were outside with one of your friends when the whole volleyball thing started and only came to the gym cuz the rest of your friends were in there

so you walked in, scanned the crowd, immediately noticed your crush *cough*sakusa*cough* and then found your friends standing in a group on the other side of the gym

now here’s the thing

sakusa has a crush™️ on you too. took him a while to realize and accept it but he did and now he officially has a crush on you

he just hadn’t really gotten around to the idea of asking you out or anything

mainly cuz he just very recently realized his feelings aka last night he was thinking about all the events he had to do for sports day and he groaned cuz ppl made him do it but then he realized ppl wasn’t actually ppl it was just you

you were the one who smiled at him and said “why not sakkun,, it’d be fun” and like that he agreed. then he realized further he actually thought about you a lot. like earlier he was thinking about how’d you look tmr since u weren’t gonna be in normal school uniform and you’d have your hair all done. and then he realized he was looking forward to seeing you which led him to realize you were one of the few ppl he actually enjoyed being around. THEN he fucking finally realized “oh… i have a crush…. on y/n……. oh”

somewhat conflicted abt it for the entirety of the day,,, bois experiencing feels for u ofc its gonna take some time >.<

he didn’t get to talk to you all day though,,,,,, he was busy with his own events and you were elsewhere

either way,, when he saw you walking past in the gym he kind of lost focus

lost focus in that the ball was coming to him and he jumped to spike it but only had his eyes on you causing his aim to mess up and well,,

he hit his target

*your head*

and because he wasn’t focused, it wasn’t a “soft” spike like all the other ones hes been doing 

it was a full-blown sakusa kiyoomi spike

that hit your face

(;´༎ຶٹ༎ຶ`)

sakusa just went: ᶠᵘᶜᵏ

you saw stars,,,,,,,, and fell on ur bum

like a split second later, you heard a calm voice asking if you were ok. you muttered out a yeah and felt arms helping you up

one of them was your friend you were pretty sure, but the other one’s hands were too big to be any of your friends’

“let’s get you to the nurse,” the calm voice said again. 

“mkay,, thats probably.. a smart choice.. yeah….” and, vision still blurry, you were guided to the nurse by your friend and someone whose identity you weren’t sure of yet

sakusa was still standing there

all that, the spike hitting you, you falling, your being escorted to the clinic,,,,, that happened in like 2 seconds

he didn’t even have time to say anything yet

to make matters worse, some random ass guy was the one who came and swept you out of the gym

sure your friend was with you but to sakusa,,, that guy sus af

after they left, the game continued and sakusa rlly didn’t feel like playing anymore

he wanted to make sure you were okay and wanted to apologize 

however,,,, the teachers came in shortly after and told them it was time for the closing ceremony

throughout the entire thing, his eyes flit through the crowds looking for you

he couldn’t find you tho>:((

big sad

after the ceremony was over,, he went to the clinic but you weren’t there

then he just kinda,,, /slump/

figured he’d just pull you aside tmr and apologize then

except,,, tmr came and he still hadnt found a good time to pull you aside for a proper apology?? 

you were just so… busy.?

finally,, at around lunch after you finished eating, you kinda just sat with your friends and were talking and stuff when sakusa decided now would be an appropriate time to apologize

he walked up to you and asked if you two could talk in private for a bit

your friends shot glances at each other. he saw,, but he didnt let it bother him

anyways,, he led you out into the hall and in the softest tone he could manage he says, “about yesterday… i’m really sorry, spiked the ball a bit too hard.. how are you feeling?”

you tell him ur fine,, just that it aches a bit but nothing serious

he nods and mutters another ‘sorry..’

then this happened:

“no it’s ok you don’t have to be so sorry. accidents happen.”

“it wasn’t an accident tho..? so im sorry, it wont happen again.”

“yeah ok,, wAIT WHAT?? wdym not an accident?!?? u spiked the ball into my face on purpose?!?!!?!?”

“WHAT NO- ofc not. i just,,, i kind of lost focus… on other things… at the time… and yeah”

“????”

*sighs* “i was focused on you when you walked past and didn’t consciously control my aim or whatever and ended up spiking it into your face”

“?!?!?!??…. why were you focused on me??”

“cuz i like you dummy” /it slipped he didnt mean to say this/

“oh.... wAIT WHAT?!?!?!?!?!?!?”

and that is the story of how sakusa confessed

𝗻𝗼𝘁𝗲 ` honestly think it would be better as a fic but uh,,, my lazy ass cant be bothered to write fics rn so uh,, hope this was good for now? lol might mess around and write one later tho.. maybe `

[sir-subpar]

Double Agent (Panstick) Part 1

*Inside job AU: An au where Dave was purposefully Helping Henry throughout the series. Like a double agent. Someone on Tumblr proposed this idea to me and I decided to write/draw stuff for it.*

Henry sat in his cell, as two officers approached him. Rupert and Dave.

"Oi you! You're free to go!" 

"Haha! Not really. But you got a package. Don't get your hopes up, we already checked it. Didn't we Dave?"

 "Huh? Oh! Yeah of course I checked it. If I didn't check it I would lose my job and I don't wanna lose my job! Hehehe…" The two walked away, Henry opened the package, then looked up to see Dave wink at him before leaving the room. Henry smiled, Dave always had his back. His hero.

…

Henry crouched behind some bushes outside the museum with his newest goal: the Tunisian Diamond. Henry pulled out his phone, shooting Dave a text. Dave was inside near the history exhibit, when he felt his phone buzz in his pocket. Dave checked his notifications to see a message from Henry. 

Henry: I'm outside rn gonna sneak in.

Dave: idk Henry… I might have to catch you if you break in ;)

Henry: lol 

Dave: Don't worry, I gotchu <3

Henry: thx see you soon :)

Dave chuckled, putting his phone in his pocket. He glanced around the room, he glanced at his coworker. He had to distract him if Henry was gonna get in. Time for his "incompetence" to shine again. "So, why'd you decide to be a security guard?" Dave asked. Kurt rolled his eyes, "It's a job that pays, that should be enough." He replied rudely. Dave cringed internally. Great. Why couldn't he have been partnered with someone more chatty? Despite his minor annoyance, Dave continued. "Haha yeah… I get that. I used to be a policeman, but it didn't really work out. There was this one prisoner we had in holding…" Dave rambled, if he just kept talking, Henry could get through easily. "My coworker used to tease him a lot. But that's not important I guess. Anyway, he was there for like a month. One time he got this package, like some prisoners do. So I gave it to him, but I uhh forgot to check it. There was a cake in the box and there was something in the cake so he used it to escape. And then I lost my job." "Ugh. Please. Shut up." Kurt said, clearly annoyed. Before Dave could respond, a model plain slammed into the back of Kurt's head. Rendering him completely unconscious. Dave looked across the room, there was the man of the hour, Henry himself, who had somehow created a huge hole in the wall. Dave felt somewhat relieved that he didn't have to keep talking to his rude coworker, but he couldn't break character just yet. "Oh no! I gotta warn somebody!" Dave smiled at Henry briefly, then started running towards one of the support beams in the building, then slammed into it, falling to the ground. Henry rushed to Dave's side, worried that he might've actually gotten hurt. "Don't worry about me, I'm fine." Dave winked at Henry, then closed his eyes. Henry smiled and gave him a quick peck on the forehead before running off to finish his mission. When Dave "regained consciousness" he was surprised to find that his boss wouldn't fire him despite the fact that Henry's heist was successful. He couldn't wait to see Henry later, he was probably ecstatic. 

…

Dave walked to Henry's hideout, he was the only other person who knew where it was. They usually spent a lot of time together in that hideout. It was their little corner of the world, a safe space just for them. Dave knocked on the door. "Henry! It's me! Can I come in?" The door opened. Revealing the thief. "Well if it isn't my knight in shining armor." "Hi Henry!" The two hugged each other, it had been a while since they had hung out like this. Dave kissed Henry on the cheek. "So what's your plan now?" Dave asked "Gotta lay low for now." The thief replied. "I guess I'll be visiting you here more often then, huh?" Dave said in a slightly flirty voice, wrapping his arms around Henry's waist. "Looks like you will." Henry chuckled, returning Dave's embrace. "C'mon, let's eat some dinner. You're probably tired."

…

Dave was true to his word, he did visit Henry when he could. He was happy to do so. It got easier over time, as news of the Tunisian Diamond faded in relevance, being replaced by stories about some big band of criminals. Eventually Henry was able to visit Dave at his apartment in town, instead of Dave having to go to the forest. Henry walked through the intricate plants in the jungle, annoyed when a branch hit him in the face. Getting to and from the hideout was always a hassle thanks to how remote it was. But it was a necessary evil. After a long time of walking, he finally arrived at the place Dave called home. His legs were sore from the long walk, he just wanted to sit down and cuddle with Dave. He knocked on the door. "Davey! I'm here!" Henry waited for his love to open the door. And he waited. And uh, waited. No response. He knocked on the door again, feeling uneasy. "Dave?" Still no response. Maybe he was at work? Henry decided to give Dave a phone call. He probably just went to the store or something. Henry selected Dave's phone contact, waiting for him to pick up. It went straight to voicemail. He tried again, and got the same result. No response from Dave. Now he was worried. Why wasn't he answering? Henry, feeling panicked, knocked on the door. "D-Dave? Are you there!? DAVE!" No response. Where was he?

[epikulupu]

Hey I am asking around because I want to see different ideas... I would appreciate it but if you don’t want to there is no need to answer... What’s like the origin of gender? When did it evolve or otherwise arise? How? How does that relate to human sexuality evolving, given our orientations like homosexuality are about gender? Did it evolve in other species and does it require consciousness (i had assumed so because it’s self image)..? Do the species without gender lack orientations or are theirs based in sex not gender unlike humans? Is it appropriate to call, say, penguins gay, if they lack gender? Or does it confuse the issue and either anthropomorphise them OR tacitly support an essentialist and transphobic view of gayness being about sex (eg oh look two MALE penguins, assigned based on dicks, fucking, that’s what being gay is) etc ... Sorry this is a lot.:: I feel very lost working it out :( every questions answer pops up like 100 more questions

OKAY so i feel thoroughly unqualified to answer these questions but i will try . im gonna try to answer the best i can under the cut

✦ ​ ​ ✦ ​ ​ ✦

What’s like the origin of gender? When did it evolve or otherwise arise? How? How does that relate to human sexuality evolving, given our orientations like homosexuality are about gender? Did it evolve in other species and does it require consciousness? well, that's an anthropological history question, and it varies greatly from culture to culture. for example, in jewish, indian, and native american cultures, there are differing ideas of gender, what it means, and how it affects people. the idea of only male and female comes from western culture, specifically christianity, i think. it would be very hard to prove or disprove any guesses to when gender identity evolved, but i would imagine gender has been a part of the brain for a very long time. i have no idea how, but that's not a surprise since there's so much we don't know about the brain. as far as i know, one's gender in relation to their sexuality is a very personal thing, and since talk of this has only very recently (in the grand scheme of things) been talked about, so i doubt there'd be much historical records about it.

Did it evolve in other species and does it require consciousness? Do the species without gender lack orientations or are theirs based in sex not gender unlike humans? Is it appropriate to call, say, penguins gay, if they lack gender? Or does it confuse the issue and either anthropomorphise them OR tacitly support an essentialist and transphobic view of gayness being about sex? however, some species of animals have shown to show both gay and trans 'characteristics'. and with regards to consciousness, it depends on how you define that, which is a very philosophical thing to decide. with 'is it okay to call penguins gay if they lack gender' i see it as. if we can't communicate with animals, see if they have an idea of gender, etc, then sex would be the only way we would tell. i honestly haven't thought about this much, so i'm not super set in my opinions on it.

✦ ​ ​ ✦ ​ ​ ✦

i had a hard time answering this, so i asked some people what they thought about it, here are some things they said :

" the idea of sexuality and gender is a human thing but it is very important to humans for us to have this language bc trans ppl have spent many many years trying to find a way to communicate our experiences and to take that away from us is yuck

idk where exactly it evolved from but it has existed for quite some time. likely existed differently in many societies but yeah!! ik there are 6 in the torah alone each based on sex and stuff but like… it also includes trans identities as well ^^ that’s existed for so so very long "

" tbh we are imposing human social norms onto animals Constantly, but just saying “aw look, gay penguins” doesn’t hurt the penguins, while it can help gay humans "

" gender evolved in humans do to gender roles and society based roles, at some point people started to separate based on the idea of sex which is the start of the current western idea of gender

i think it has realted because of the fact that attraction exists and people contuined to find ways to describe said attractions which the easiest way to would be gender as that was such a big defining point in someones role, idenity, and status

i think nonhuman creatures could experience something gender or sorts but not the way humans have defined it and i dont think giving animals gender is inherently harmful

i think it can be and does but i dont think its inherently harmful depending on the context ya know? its not rlly a black n white thing "

✦ ​ ​ ✦ ​ ​ ✦

this is not a perfect answer, as im not educated on a lot of this enough to answer questions properly. that said, i hope this helped at least a little bit :]

[pokemon-ninjago-world]

Headcanon/Pokéninjago version of Lloyd’s identity crisis during season 5 of Ninjago

Got ab 12 likes on the announcement post so here we are: This is an essay-sorta-thing about something I thought and wrote some six years ago. It’s been so long since I wrote this I feel cringy reading it, but it’s tenable in Pokéninjago lore. It’s kind of a mix between my headcanon for the show, and canon of my AU, which is why there is mentions of “evolving” and Pokémon types.

Things to take into account:

Idk if there should be content warnings, but depression mention at least. Otherwise, this is pretty much as intense as season 5 went, just a little more angsty I suppose.

I must say that my version of Lloyd and his identity crisis were inspired by a certain artist’s version of him and by a comic they made about the Child’s Play episode’s aftermath. I don’t dare name the artist, since they don’t wish to be linked with the Ninjago fandom anymore, but some of you might know who I’m referring to. 

I do not know how psychology stuff actually works, all of this was made on grounds of a couple of high school psychology courses and a lot of imagination `:D

I wrote this originally in Finnish and let Word translate it, so this might be v clumsy at points.

Most of the text is under the cut!

                                                  ~***~

When Lloyd was just a small cub, closer to three years, his mother had left him in his father's care. Misako knew the boy would become the Green Ninja and Garmadon would become the Dark Lord. That is why she went looking for any ancient knowledge to avoid the final confrontation. Although her heart was torn since she had to leave her loved ones, she knew that she couldn’t just sit on her hands, and that perhaps she was the only one that could prevent the decisive battle between good and evil. It was also her wish that the father and the son could spend as much time together as possible. Thus, Lloyd's earliest childhood memories are about his father, and his recollections of his mother are blurry, obscure, and fading away as he grows up, or mixing with other memories.

            Dad meant everything to little Lloyd. Although they lived in the same monastery with Lloyd’s uncle as well, whom he also liked, his own father was still the greatest. Garmadon also loved his child deeply and wanted him to have a happy life. Although the poison in his veins was starting to get a hold of him and he was increasingly drawn to the Golden Weapons, his love for Lloyd and the desire to be with him in anticipation of Misako's return kept him away from them for much longer than if the boy had never existed.

                    When Lloyd "evolved," he lost some important years of his life, during which a youngster usually developes a picture of himself and his changing body. Lloyd's body changed in a single moment and even though his mind also changed to some degree, it was still mostly on the same level as before, since artificial aging did not bring him the years of experience that growing up normally would. From that moment on, he had to form himself a new image of himself. Frankly, he was facing a fierce identity crisis.

                     After the episode Child's Play, Lloyd adopted an identity whose foundation was flimsy and unstable. It consisted of a few simple pillars that supported his image of himself. Some emotions, thoughts, and memories that he could not, wasn’t able to or didn’t dare to deal with, secretly and slowly gnawed at those pillars like erosion. They grew into doubt that settled into the cracks like rockfoil.

                     That flimsy foundation for his self-image, consisted of these elements: I am the Green Ninja. I'm the strongest ninja of all. I’m the son of  sensei Garmadon. I’m the grandson of The First Spinjitzu Master. I'm one of the Elemental Masters. I'm a student of Sensei Wu. I'm one of the five elemental ninjas. It's my destiny to protect the world from evil.

                     This made it easy for Morro to destabilize and crush Lloyd’s self-esteem. Morro proved himself to be stronger and more independent than Lloyd, and that he could win him over and over again, no matter how hard Lloyd tried to fight back. Lloyd felt weak and desperate. Two pillars of his self-image collapsed to the ground and the masked emotions and doubts that chipped away at the other columns began to grow and intensify: He was not the strongest ninja and was therefore unable to protect the world from this evil.

                     This also affected his view of him as the Green Ninja. Although logically he still was just that – the Golden Weapons and his powers had proven it – he could not help but think that maybe Morro really was supposed to be the Chosen One. His identity was cracking, which ate away at his strength and self-esteem. Being a Psychic Type, his greatest strength resided in his psyche, and whenever his mind was in an unstable and vulnerable state, he couldn’t do his best, even if he had used everything he had learned. Losing his father fairly recently had already struck a dangerous notch in his mental stability.

                     Even though Lloyd was still his father's son, it didn't feel the same when he was no longer with him. Finally, he was only driven forward by his relationship with his other loved ones. He had to do everything he could to stop Morro from harming his friends. By protecting them he was also protecting the last intact remnants of his Self.

                     Lloyd did everything he could to resist Morro's possession. From time to time a memory of his friends and the will to keep them safe increased his "self-control," weakening the ghost's hold on him. However, a long, grueling time in constant motion, without water and nourishment, poisoned by a cold, vindictive spirit, steadily filled his mind with anguish and despair. Doubts penetrated deep into the tears of his self-image, breaking everything old until he no longer knew who he was. Only with the last bits of his mental strength could he interfere with Morro's possession so that he failed to clear the other ninjas out of his way.

                     Then, when Morro broke away from Lloyd's body, the Espeon felt like nothing more than an empty, broken shell floating aimlessly in the dark, beachless sea. He was unable to live up to any of the expectations and goals that had been set for him. Now, he was used as a trade-in item in the market of the world’s destiny. He longer had the strength or power to save even his best friends. He was as helpless as a newborn pup and all he could do was to stand by and apologize when he was traded for Realm Crystal.

                      Somewhere from his past, he dug up one last spark of strength. Already as a child, he had been left alone with unfriendly people, who then had ignited that stubborn flame in him: the desire to fight the cruel, unjust and repressive world. His body still had more strength than his mind, and this momentary burst of grit made him kick the Crystal out of Morro's hand. This, however, caused him to end up in the freezing stream, all his energy used up. There was not much left but a primitive desire to survive and a little strength to keep his head afloat before the cold numbed his muscles.

                     Lloyd's mind was in shambles. Images, memories, shattered fragments of his adopted identity… they all churned in his tired, blurred consciousness. Unintentionally, he began to go through the feelings of uncertainty, fear and inadequacy that he had denied from himself for years. The present seemed more surreal than the memories. He relived moments that had had a revolutionary impact on his life: When the golden weapons pointed him out as a Green Ninja; when he grew up under the influence of Tomorrow's Tea; when he met his mother and became to know her; when he unleashed the Golden Dragon in the Temple of Light; how he fought the Overlord who was possessing his father; how he harnessed his True Potential; got his father back; lost Zane; reunited his friends again and felt great togetherness with the other Elemental Masters. When he lost his father again. And when Morro possessed him.

                     Lloyd was lost. If it wasn’t for his friends and their care, he would have sunk deep into depression (and, on the other hand, drowned or, at the very least, died of hypothermia). When Kai carried him out of the FSM’s tomb, it triggered a very clear memory of the day when the Master of Fire had fulfilled his potential and Lloyd had been identified as the Chosen One. That day, Kai had come to save him from an erupting volcano and carried him to safety. Now, Lloyd felt like he was that little scared cub again, who had for a moment thought he was going to burn to the ground in the boiling lava of the volcano. He remembered how Kai's closeness had brought a feeling of immediate security around him. Even though the mountain had raged and wanted to kill them both, Lloyd had known he didn’t have to be afraid. Kai was there. He'd protect Lloyd. There was no reason to fight the fear anymore, he didn't have to pretend like he was tough. He was carried by someone older and stronger, whom to rely on.

                     The feeling was so intense, the memory so vivid that Lloyd was overwhelmed by an inexplicable, immense grief. The sadness of being forced to give up a carefree childhood so early on, to take on an enormous responsibility and assume a role that seemed too demanding for such a small boy to perform. He had had to grow up way too soon. He started shaking from holding back the tears. He didn’t mind since he thought Kai was probably assuming that he was shivering from the cold. But when Kai said quietly and understandingly: "Shh... It's okay... Don't worry about it," the last wall of pride and fear fell, and Lloyd could no longer repress his weeping.

                     At this point, he slowly began to build a new identity on the ruins of the wrecked one. He understood that even though he was the Green Ninja, it didn’t make him greater or more important than the others. He had more magical power than anyone else, but he was still only a person just like them. He could hesitate, too, and fail. There was no way for him to do anything more than what he was capable of, mentally, physically, and skill-wise. That’s all there was to offer, and if it wasn't enough, there were others whom he could rely on. Others, who would catch him when he ran out of strength. He wasn't the last link to hold the whole structure together.

                     These ideas developed slowly in Lloyd's exhausted mind. Slowly, he got stitched back up from the fragments of his previous self-image. This time, however, his new identity was not something that was given to him from the outside, in which he would have had to fit himself, but it was a solid, authentic self-image created as a result of self-reflection. It was still obscure, uncertain and seeking its form, and its growth was overshadowed by fear. But the conversation with his father drove away that last fear. The fear that Morro was supposed to be the Green Ninja instead of Lloyd. His father assured that Lloyd’s qi had no influence on how he should live and act. He should live the way his heart told him to.

                     In the end, although Morro managed to beat Lloyd one last time, this time he did not break down. He was more intact now, he had more inner strength, and he knew for sure he wouldn't be abandoned. That the fate of the world wasn't really up to him. He may have been part of the story, but after all, he wasn't the protagonist, at least not the only one of them.

[coolmomdean]

I really admire the way you're not afraid to speak your mind about stuff even when you have strong opinions people might not agree with. I'm starting to realise that I'm way too scared of what people think of me. The thing is, I really dread being mass-unfollowed because I'm a small blog with only about 120 followers so I feel like I can't afford to say anything too controversial - and I really don't like the person that's turning me into. For example, there's certain internet people who make content about Supernatural who I'd really like to defend because I think that sometimes the fandom is too hard on them - and at the same time there's certain actors (who may or may not be planning a certain prequel series) who I'm starting to realise I really don't think much of at all. And I'd love to be able to voice my opinions a bit more but I always end up chickening out because I'm scared people won't like me because of it. I feel like the internet can be so judgy about just a few small opinions, and I love Tumblr so much in general, but also... I really don't ever want to be that person who has to follow popular opinions and can't speak my mind.

Anyway I just wanted to say I really admire you because you seem to be so good at sticking to your own opinions but not alienating people and I really wish that I could be like that.

First off, thank you! It isn't something I have always been good at. Like any habit or skill it takes practice and effort. a lot of times i'm still in the same boat as you, really admiring people who are even more bold about what they think on here. I think there's a certain freedom that comes with having a big follower base and there's another kind of freedom that comes with only having only a few followers. I have like 3.5k followers here (which is insane and not something i have dealt with ever in the past) and only like 400 on my main (which I've had since 2011) so sometimes i feel more comfortable sharing certain stuff on main that i wouldn't here, and vice versa. I also absolutely still hold some stuff back here cause that feeling of wanting people to like me is still really strong. I think on the one hand the internet mentality encourages us to share every thought and opinion we have on everything, and a good thing to keep in mind is that you don't have to do that. like you fully can just have opinions that you know will cause a stir and say to yourself : hey i don't want to deal with the fallout of sharing that i'm gonna keep that one in the drafts. there's a difference between not sharing something cause you're afraid of being judged and not sharing something cause you just don't want to deal with it.

more under the cut since this has turned into another long boy

personally the actor/rpf stuff that i can get on a medium sized horse about is a really firm boundary i want to keep so it only benefits me to share my opinion and have people who disagree with me on that unfollow. last time i fielded a bunch of asks about it i lost maybe 100 followers? even with as many as i have i still notice that and it did kinda bother me, but i don't want people who are really sensitive about that shit following me so ultimately that was a good thing. on the flip side of that, people wouldn't want to follow me if i just regurgitated what everyone else said first and better. i still lose followers when i get into stuff like that but lately i also gain about as many as i lose, so people are here for a reason i guess. everyone here brings something new and a little different to the table, and whatever your opinions are there are absolutely people on here who would agree with you if you shared. when you are your authentic self you can only benefit, because you give others the chance to interact with who you really are? that got too deep for a fandom post but you get what i'm saying.

also it is good to keep in mind that it is just tumblr. you don't need to base your worth on how many followers you have on here. its just a dumb show that we talk about on a dumb website and if you're dreading consequences when you talk about it i'd encourage you to take a little step back and think about what you get out of your interactions on here. are you making friends? do you want to make friends? do you want to get in heated internet arguments? do you want people to reply to your posts with "omg yes finally someone said it!"? you never need to be stressing about this website (not to say you're wrong for feeling stress, just to say it isn't worth the stress you're feeling).

idk this is yet another ramble with spotty capitalization and no spell check but those are my stream of consciousness thoughts. yeah.

[harapeveco]

This is basically a follow up to that one post I reblogged about how Rei got home after Hitotsume stabbed the life out of him...really didn’t go into too much detail bc I feel like I shouldn’t ramble too much on reblogs, the other person shouldn’t have to deal with my nonsense also hhhh these are very stupid lmao

Also this bs very long so yeh it’s hidden oopsie

Anyway my theories and their explanations about how Rei got home that day are:

1) Qta took him home: the less probable one since Qta is like super tiny. I mentioned on the post that he probably transformed into a devil like monster and carried him home, mostly as a joke but then I started to think about it and like...Zingai transformation is posible, Noppo being the prime example of this since he has his og form and his duffel bag form. I believe this could be tied to the person’s personality tho, as we can see with Tobi saying he will protect Rei from shadow danger when in reality he’s just using him as bait to find Hitotsume, maybe that kind of a two-faced personality is what let Zingai change their appearance. It’s mentioned that Qta looks too childish and baby for a high schooler like Rei and it lowkey makes sense: Rei is kinda blunt, short tempered and prefers to ignore problems, which to me are kinda childish behaviors (not in a bad sense he’s a kid after all). Thinking of this, it means he’s still at “stage 1”; for what we know, he hasn’t gone through a situation that would make him a two-faced person. So basically Qta cannot transform himself yet, we would have to see if in the future Rei goes through something that makes him change and therefore change Qta too.

2) Rei dragged himself home: I also said this one as joke but there may be some truth to it. So basically we see him safe in his room after getting attacked by Hitotsume but we are told that the last thing he remembers was being stabby stabbed by tall ugly man, which means there’s a blank space in his memory where he somehow got home, changed clothes and went to bed. But before seeing if he was capable of going home by himself, we need to know exactly why he passed out in the first place; at first I thought it had to be something along the lines of stress since we can see him feeling anxious about people’s words when he was at school and his reactions to being able to see Zingai all of the sudden, with all this combined it would make sense for his baby brain to just be like “hey I’ve had enough of this bullshit bye” and just pass out but now that we know a little bit more stuff I would say he suffered a vanilla version of heart desolation. We are explained that if a shadow gets damage before it’s ripe the host will lose consciousness and won’t be able to wake up....Rei did lose consciousness but managed to wake up bc Qta had manifested before Hitotsume was able to snatch Rei’s heart. So yeh I believe Hitotsume was doing on chapter 2 exactly what Yuu’s Zingai was doing on chapter 10

Notice how the shadow goo trail comes from the mid area of that guy’s body, the same place where Hitotsume was stabby stabbing. Since Rei’s shadow was ripe it’s safe to assume he suffered the effects of heart desolation but to a lesser extent...if he was able to wake up just for a moment to go back home I believe he wouldn’t be completely conscious, rather in a blank state of mind or being dazed and that’s why he doesn’t remember it

3) Pattun was the one who took him home: this was the least serious of them all and only wrote it bc I thought it was just impossible for a guy who appears on two panels to just be there to save baby protagonist but hear me out bc I think I’m onto something with this one. I’ve noticed that people fail to point out that when Pattun makes his appearance, Mocchi is actually with him and not only that but...when Rei first realizes that he can see Zingai, we can see Mocchi again (well assuming it is Mocchi but yeh all my bets are on it)

So my Pattun stalking joke may have some truth to it. We see him being kinda interested? Or more like he notices something is off with Rei? Idk what the word is but considering he was hiding behind a building and looking at Rei I can assume he knew something was up and sent Mocchi to investigate. Since Mocchi cannot be see by regular people they could easily enter the school and then tell Pattun if Rei was able to see them or not and after getting that info both of them would follow him. Now the question of if they were following him, why didn’t they stop Hitotsume before he became a stabbing machine? Remember Rei basically left the school running and also went around some alleys to make sure Zingai weren’t following him so it wouldn’t be surprising if Pattun and Mocchi lost sight of him and when they found him he was already passed out. More of an add on but I would also like to point out Qta wouldn’t have been able to defeat Hitotsume by himself, like how in chapter 3 he was defeated by a shadow who was relatively smaller than Hito, I believe he would have had some help...so here’s when these two enter to fend Hitotsume off. Ofc this theory has some holes like:

1) Hito could’ve just notice Rei’s shadow was already ripe so there was no point on staying there and simply left

2) if Hitotsume is as “known” as Tobi makes him seem then I believe Pattun would think it twice about throwing hands for a kid he doesn’t know

3) I don’t think Pattun could be able to carry Rei by himself unless there’s a third party involved tho Mocchi could have been able to... I cannot imagine how people who cannot see Zingai would be able to perceive that as in would they be able to see Rei just like floating or will he become invisible upon being touched by zingai?

4) I don’t think Pattun knows where Rei lives

So yeh there are more things against this theory than in favor

4) Monitor Girl is somehow involved: didn’t mentioned this one bc it’s really too far fetched. Basically, we know how monitor girl has...well...monitors...and those monitors show cameras (for what we can see in InT) so basically she could have gotten ahold of Rei and decided to kept and eye on him. We know she knows Pattun bc of what chapter 10 tell us (it’s true we don’t how to what extent they know each other but let’s assume they are acquaintances) so maybe Pattun let her know there was a kid in the area that was suspicious or something. Maybe she was digging info about him and found his home address and told Pattun and he and Mocchi took him home. Also we can’t forget Tobi coming out of literally nowhere to save Rei...I’m convinced she told him about that too but I won’t enter too much into detail

5) None of these theories are correct and Eve and Newo won’t give us an explanation for this: I mean come on they probs wanted to show how scary Hito was and everything I said was a pointless waste of my time

[trensu]

crack tangled au that nobody asked for

i saw a pic of wang yibo with blond hair and decided that lan wangji needed to be rapunzel. idk what else to tell you guys. there’s literally no other reason this exists.

so lwj has lived in his tower for as long as he can remember. his father says he’s not allowed to leave it ever bc the outside is Dangerous. There’s all sorts of unsavory folk that want to take his magic blond hair and use it for Nefarious Purposes. 

lwj is not all that interested in going outside. he trusts and loves his father. his father only wants what’s best for him. the outside world sounds scary anyway. besides, his father gave him a friend a few years back in the form of a small, surprisingly intelligent lizard named huaisang so he’s not lonely. And his father brings him books and other things for his hobbies. he hopes his father visits again soon bc his guqin’s strings snapped and now he can’t play.

lwj would have lived his whole life quite content with his little huaisang in the tower. except one day someone crawled in through his window. a STRANGER found his tower!! a DANGEROUS STRANGER was in his tower for NEFARIOUS PURPOSES. Probably. His father warned him about these guys. so he does the sensible thing and whacks the STRANGER over the head with his stringless guqin.

he stares blankly at the unconscious stranger and then looks at huaisang. 

“what are we supposed to do with him now?” lwj murmurs to his little lizard. huaisang makes a little growly sound. lwj nods. “But I don’t think we have any rope.”

lwj decides to use his hair.

--

look, wwx is not having a great day. he got chased by royal guards after he and jc were caught trying to steal from rich ppl (hey, he and his brother and sister were orphans without a penny to their name!! and sure, jyl brings in some income playing nursemaid to a fairly well to-do family and he and his brother find odd jobs here and there, but thats hardly what you’d call stable income...so maybe sometimes they help themselves to extra gold from the lordly families like the Jins; nbd, right? it’s not like they’d even notice the loss and also they’re all Assholes so they deserve to get robbed) bc maybe, MAYBE jc had a point when he said they’d be overreaching trying to steal from the royal Lan family.

he eventually loses the guards which is good! but then he loses track of his brother, which was bad. and then he somehow acquired a Very Angry Horse that won’t stop following him which is weird. also mildly inconvenient but an angry horse is still a step up from angry guards. then there was this tower he climbs up, ignoring the angry horse’s whinnies.

and now? Now he’s slowly regaining consciousness and finding himself tied to a chair by golden rope...hey, wwx is up for some bondage every now and again but, like, he’s gotta go through all the kink negotiation and safeword confirmation and sort out all the consent stuff before he gives the go ahead. he’s pretty sure none of that has happened.  So this is the UN-fun type of bondage and...wait a minute...this isn’t rope...is this--?

“who are you and what are your Nefarious Plans for my hair?”

wwx looks up and sees the most beautiful face he’s ever seen in his entire life. if jc were here he’d be shouting up a storm, demanding they be freed this instant. jc is about 90% of wwx’s impulse control and 20% of his common sense (the other 80% of his common sense resides with jyl at all times for safekeeping). So instead of demanding to be released, wwx puts on his most charming smile and leans forward towards the prettiest man in the world who’s hovering not nearly close enough in his space.

“well, hello. you can call me your future husband and the only plans i have for your hair involve a bed, you, and--”

He really should have expected the next hit to the head.

--

as far as meet-cutes go...it could’ve gone worse.

--

“i can’t believe you’ve been stuck in that tower all your life. don’t you get bored??”

“No.”

“don’t you ever want to stretch your legs and enjoy the sunshine?? go for a swim maybe?”

“No.”

“well why are you making me take you to through this awful forest and go to the palace??”

“Huaisang.”

“umm...bless you?”

The pretty man known as lwj sighs. “No. Huaisang is my lizard. It’s not fair for him to stay cooped up with me all the time.”

The lizard perched on lwj’s shoulder wiggles its disconcerting little lizard hand at him and, like, smiles at him. can lizards smile? they shouldn’t. it looks creepy. lwj cups a hand over the little lizards head and whispers to wwx.

“he thinks he’s a dragon. i want him to see what a real dragon looks like so he can figure out for himself that he isn’t one.”

“oh, so that’s why you wanna go to the palace. yeah, i wish someone had told me before that they had a dragon guarding the royal coffers.”

lwj narrows his eyes suspiciously at him. “why.”

“uh, no reason,” wwx winces and discreetly tugs the burnt edges of his robes out of view.

an awkward silence lingers for a painfully long time. the Angry Horse makes a sound. wwx suspects that he’s laughing at him. wwx sighs. at least he gets to enjoy the view, he thinks as lwj marches confidently ahead and subsequently gets them all lost.

--

lwj was just trying to be nice. that’s all. he wanted his little lizard friend to be happy. that’s it. his life was just fine before that!

but in the course of 48 hours, he finds out huaisang really IS a dragon, and is actually the little brother of nie mingjue, the dragon that guards the royal coffers. he falls in love with a roguish, penniless thief whose smile outshines the sun and carries a heart as golden as lwj’s hair. Said thief is now being held hostage by the man he calls his father but is in reality Meng Yao, the lan’s royal adviser who kidnapped him as an infant in order to use his magical hair for Nefarious Purposes. Oh, and apparently lwj is the long lost lan prince.

...he knew he should’ve stayed in the tower.

--

lwj feels his lips quirk up slightly as wwx runs his fingers through his now very black, very shortly cropped hair. wwx beams at him.

“didn’t i say i was gonna be your husband?”

“Hm,” lwj gives a small nod. “but having a horse at the wedding is a surprise.”

“yeah well, apparently we’re a package deal bc he won’t quit following me.”

wen qing, the witch officiating their wedding, scoffs. “seriously?? you haven’t figured it out yet??”

she taps the horse angrily chewing at wwx’s robes and suddenly there’s a man in purple robes shouting at the top of his lungs.

“A WEEK. I’VE BEEN CURSED INTO A HORSE FOR A WEEK, WEI WUXIAN, YOU IDIOT. HOW GODDAMN STUPID ARE YOU THAT YOU DIDN’T REALIZE---”

“Oh, jiang cheng! you’re just in time for the wedding!!”

The shouting lost all coherency at that point. but that’s okay. lwj is very happy he finally left his tower anyway.

[glittercracker]

Kingkiller Crap

So, I’ve never really posted much here that involves my own thoughts. There are a number of reasons why, but whatever. I feel the need NOW to post some thoughts, and having no working independent blog (yet!) I suppose this is the place to dump them. PSA: none of this is about anime. None of this is frivolous or fun. TW for sexual abuse. You have been warned! So. I’ve been rereading the Kingkiller Chronicles. aka “Name of the Wind” and “The Wise Man’s Fear” and “That Other One That Shall Not Be Named.” This reread was, at the beginning, almost an afterthought. A way to keep my 13 yo happy on a 7 hour car ride. Except, he could not have cared less, and I got sucked back into the story (and okay, if that is how all our audiobook car rides go, meh? At least it keeps me sharp!) I raced through book one, and bought book 2 on audible with an eye to my upcoming surgery and recooperation. Book one was problematic in the places I remembered, but also as generally engaging as I remembered. And then book 2 happened, and surgery happened, and I have had weeks to lie in bed listening to this bloody interminable sequel, and I find myself lost in a morass of, “WTF was I ever THINKING?” Namely, how did I ever love this book enough to pine for the next? It’s been hard to put a finger on exactly what is making this time through book 2 both a slog and also vaguely, creepily uncomfortable, but if you’re interested, my rather stream-of-consciousness ramble of thoughts ensues. First, the male gaze that rears its head at times in book 1 predominates here. But while I don’t love the way Kvothe describes women, I also have 2 degrees in literature, and I’m beyond that being a reason not to read an otherwise engaging book. Second, Kvothe is a Gary Stu, for all of Rothfuss’s protestations to the contrary. Again, so far, so much traditional high fantasy. But while, say, Aragorn is content to just quietly be Awesome At Everything, Kvothe is a braggy little shit of a Gary Stu: the person you hated for announcing their perfect scores in that hs class you could never quite master. I could fill several pages with examples, but for some reason what really made me want to kick him in the head was not Felurian’s disbelief of his virginity (though really, jfc, REALLY?) Nope, it was the end of his time w the Ademrae (sp may be off, remember, I’m listening not reading!) when he crows about having learned the history of his sword 2 days earlier than expected. Why does this stick out? Oh, idk. Maybe bc he sucks so hard he can’t even get past the first obstacle in his practical final exam? Yet he still has to tell us how fucking awesome he is for remembering 6000 names of previous owners.

I know, I’m supposed to forgive his teenage idiocy. The internet sympathists (no pun intended!) keep telling me this. And I suppose that I would, IF this were a simple first-person narrative - but it isn’t. Let’s repeat that, and really think about it. This story is being narrated by an older and presumably wiser Kvothe who has lost everything - whose abilities have been expunged to the extent that he can’t open his own chest of Cool Stuff. He shows humility in his actions, mostly. And yet when discussing his 16 yo self, the humility evaporates, and he speaks with no kind of perspective or lens of accrued wisdom. He still compares women to instruments waiting for the “right” player (i.e. him) and defends this choice of words by saying, essentially, “You aren’t a musician, you don’t know!”

Interesting assumption for an innkeeper in a medieval-esque world. Interesting assumption if this is in fact authorial interjection, too, because I suspect the majority of this book’s audience *are* musicians to at least an extent, and I also suspect that the majority of us (yes, us - I own several beloved instruments, including a harp custom made for me as a wedding present from my husband) would not equate a human lover to even the most beloved of instruments.

But all of this is well-trodden critical ground. As far as I can tell, though, my third issue isn’t: although it’s perhaps the most glaringly tone-deaf example of all of Rothfuss’s excruciatingly tone-deaf portrayal of his world’s women. Namely, the two girls kidnapped and gang-raped by the fake Ruh.

Almost all of the criticism I’ve read on this section of TWMF concentrates on Kvothe’s treatment of the girls’ abusers. What’s interesting is that no one ever seems to write about Kvothe’s treatment of the girls themselves. Yes, he treats them kindly. He tends their wounds, he feeds them, he tries (and succeeds, of course) to draw Ellie out of her shocked stupor. 

Yet what he never once does, from the moment he takes control of the situation, is ask their opinions on any of this, including what their next step should be. He just decides to bring them back to their families - families who, in this type of society, might well disown them for being “ruined”. And the girls themselves, namely the intelligent and savvy Krin, seem to go blindly along with what he says. Why? Would Krin at least not question this, or object to his making decisions for her, when a group of men had so recently and brutally taken away all of her agency? Would she not question whether being brought back to her family is the best thing for the catatonic Ellie?

Okay, apparently not. So they return to their apparently very forgiving town. Kvothe stands up for the girls against the village shithead: thank you, Kvothe, bc I’m sure Krin could not have said those words herself. He assures the reader that they are with people who will love and care for them despite what has happened to them: thank you, Kvothe, though it’s stretching my credulity a bit that you would assume that no one will take issue with their deflowering. But then he “gifts” the girls the spoils of his slaughter: the horses, the valuables, the wagons. And I was about to give him a (grudging) pass for being decent about this, EXCEPT: he goes on to say that these goods are meant for the girls’ dowries. Specifically, to make them worth enough financially for potential husbands to overlook their loss of virginity. He even tells Krin not to settle for a less-than-lucrative marriage.

And suddenly, I was outraged. Why? Because a man who had witnessed the full extend of these women’s abuse brought them back to a backwater town believing that he was being magnanimous both in doing so, and in giving up whatever share he might have taken of the spoils of the debacle to make them financially lucrative marriage prospects. Because he never asked these traumatized girls if they might rather cut and run with the money than use it to make some man overlook their abuse in order to make them his property. He never even questions the idea that they will be grateful to submit to marriage contracts that will no doubt require them to have sex with their husbands, even though these women have been abused to the extent that they cannot sit a horse for *two days* after being rescued. And the worst part is that 20-something frame-story Kvothe doesn’t question this either; he just goes on to gloat about people singing songs about his daring rescue. Maybe I was just ready for a straw to break my benefit of the doubt. Or maybe this really is as outrageous as it feels. Either way, I can’t help being angry at Rothfuss. As a writer, I am very well aware that character and author are not the same thing; that authorial intent is not the same as authorial beliefs. But there are moments in some books when I have to wonder if that line is blurring, and this is one of them. Kvothe has literally JUST left a female-dominated country full of independent women happily doing their own thing. He has given these girls the means to find themselves a situation that will never require them to be beholden to a man again - even houses ffs, in the shape of those 2 wagons, should they want them. There are so many options beyond marriage: I can’t, for instance, think of a medieval society that didn’t have its version of a convent. Or, for Krin at least, why not the University? For that matter, why not marry her himself, and then set her free to do as she likes under the awning of a respectable marriage? 

Instead he returns them to their fathers, and likewise gives their fathers the means to marry them off with no argument. Who, after all, holds the reins of the horses at the end? Why does Kvothe assume that these families will actually use the wealth even in the dubious way that he recommends?

And in this, I think, I am justified in giving Rothfuss the stink-eye. This is one more instance for Kvothe to play the hero with no real attention given to the consequences. Kvothe himself, I think, would be appalled. He has suffered so much deprivation in his life, so often been marginalized, scapegoated, powerless, how on earth could he so easily consign others to that fate? How could he think, loving Denna as he does, having heard her words to the beaten girl in Severin, that buying these girls husbands who will “overlook” their abuse for the sake of wealth is anything but a wretched life sentence for them?

Sigh. There was a time when I desperate awaited book three. Now, given the other women’s lives at stake in this series, I’m not so sure I want to know.

[obsessionsdumpster]

A/N: sooooo idk what this is exactly, I just had an idea and decided to try and write my own fic for once though I’m not sure if it turned out good lol I think it’s a bit too long and I realised I don’t know how to write kissing scenes. Anyway please enjoy and let me know what you think

A Ninja’s Day Off (Kakashi x reader)

(Y/N) stepped into the Hokage’s office, finding Tsunade sitting by her desk, a pile of books and important documents surrounding her.

“Hokage-sama, I’m here to provide you with the mission report”

“Excellent, I’ve already received and deciphered the scroll your team has sent me with all the informations you were able to collect. It seems all went smoothly, good job (Y/N)”

Despite the formalities Tsunade and (Y/N) were rather well-acquainted, being (Y/N) one of the few Hokage’s personal ANBUs meaning that she certainly trusted her. Because of that, Tsunade glanced at the girl standing in front of her and even though she was wearing the ANBU mask, she could clearly see the exhaustion that was radiating from her, hence she spoke: “(Y/N), you’ve been out there constantly completing quest after quest for quite some time now, I know that is due to the high amount of missions the village is currently dealing with, but I can see you’re at your limit, that’s why I’m giving you the permission to take a couple days off in order to rest and recover”.

“Thank you, Tsunade” replied (Y/N) with a smile, and with that, she was off.

When she reached her apartment block, she opened the door and stepped inside. The room was a mess, to say the least: there were dirty clothes scattered all across the floor mixed with random ninja scrolls with all sorts of seals written on them, along with some kunai knives and shurikens all over the apartment. She sighed to herself, realising just how long it had been since she actually stayed in her apartment for more than 10 minutes or so, just enough time to change and pack for yet another mission.

(Y/N) decided that a nice hot shower would help her take away some stress and tiredness, so she headed towards the bathroom, stripped off her clothes and stepped under the hot stream of water that felt so nice on her bare skin.

After she was done, she stepped out of the shower, wrapping a towel around her form, then, feeling her stomach grumble, she decided to head in the kitchen to have a snack.

Unfortunately for her, when she opened the fridge she realised that everything had already expired meaning that she had nothing to eat. Nice, she thought.

That’s when her eyes fell on a small paper bag that was laying on her kitchen table. She reached to it to inspect the content and saw to her delight that inside the bag were three big red apples, her favourite. Besides the apples she saw a small note: ‘figured you wouldn’t have much at home to put in your belly after being away for so long. Enjoy - Kakashi’

(Y/N) couldn’t help but smile widely at the kind gesture. (Y/N) and Kakashi had been best friends for a long time now, having been on the same team during Kakashi’s ANBU days and continued to hang out even after he left and became a sensei. To (Y/N) he was more than just her best friend though, for as time passed she started developing romantic feeling towards the copy ninja but always shrugged off those feelings out of fear of ruining their amazing friendship and because of the fact that a potential relationship would have been a rather difficult thing to handle for two Leaf Jounin such as themselves, their positions implying a dangerous lifestyle that put their lives constantly at risk; it wasn’t a secret that a normal love life wasn’t something that two Jounin of that caliber could aspire to. Truth is, she had been told by some people like Jiraiya (though he didn’t seem very reliable) that Kakashi did in fact return her feelings. It’s not that she considered that to be impossible, she had to admit that sometimes she could feel the chemistry between the two of them, but it was like they both shared some sort of unspoken agreement that kept them from bringing the relationship forward, preferring to stay as best friends. She would say she was fine with that, what she cared about the most was being by Kakashi’s side and she really enjoyed their unique friendship but she couldn’t deny that, sometimes, this situation made her kind of sad. (Y/N) thought that things were going to stay like this forever, but she was wrong.

Chewing on her apple, she started cleaning the apartment, picking up all the clothes from the floor and reorganising and storing all her scrolls. After she was done with that, (Y/N) finally sat on her couch determined to either take a nap or just relax. However she found herself just sitting there staring at the wall, boredom taking over as she started repeatedly tapping her foot on the floor. She was so used to so much action in her life that a simple day off was starting to become more difficult to handle than she could have imagined.

Suddenly an idea popped up in her head: ‘you know what? I’m gonna pay Kakashi a visit. He must be at the training ground right now, training with his team. I’m sure it’ll be fun watching him and team 7, maybe I’ll even be able to help him out, who knows’.

Thinking it would be fun to sneak up on them while they were training, (Y/N) approached the training field making sure to suppress her chakra to avoid being detected. She positioned herself on top of a well hidden branch of tree and, rather amused, observed what Kakashi and his team were doing. It looked like they were learning how to conceal themselves, judging from the fact that Naruto, Sakura and Sasuke were all trying to find a good hiding spot to avoid getting caught by Kakashi.

Naruto managed to find a spot on the same tree as (Y/N) without noticing her. An idea popped to her mind and, with a mischievous grin, she appeared behind the blond’s back:

“Yo, Naruto” she said without a warning.

What came next was a scream and then a thud. Naruto had fallen off the tree and was now lying on the ground, his teammates and sensei approaching him, a puzzled look on their faces.

“W-Wh-What was that?!” said a shocked Naruto, followed by (Y/N) making her appearance jumping off the tree and landing in front of them.

“Hi everyone”

And before anyone could say anything, Naruto started screaming again.

“(Y/N)?!?!? Why would you do that??? I was perfectly hiding from Kakashi-sensei until you came and revealed my presence to everyone!!”

“Your ability to conceal yourself from other ninjas is the worst Naruto, it was obvious you were hiding on that tree” said Kakashi before giving (Y/N) his signature one-eyed smile “anyway, (Y/N) you’re back already, what are you doing here?”

“Well it’s my day off, so I though I would pay you a visit you know, to thank you for the apples and to see what you and team 7 where up to” she replied a bit embarrassed, realising she just admitted she wanted to see him on her day off.

“It wasn’t a big deal, really, I just figured you would like them” he said with a smile, scratching the back of his neck, which, (Y/N) thought, was kinda cute. “But since you’re here” he continued “would you mind giving us a hand? After all, ANBUs concealing techniques and chakra suppressing abilities are the best”

“Sure! When do we begin?”

And with that, Kakashi and her began teaching the young Genin all the tricks in the books.

When they finished practicing the sun was setting. All three team 7 members improved their skill a lot, especially Sasuke, but even Naruto did surprisingly well considering he wasn’t very well versed in hiding his presence, being the show off he was.

After saying goodbye to the kids, (Y/N) was left alone with Kakashi who, making sure his students were gone, spoke up:

“Well that was intense...are you hungry? We could stop somewhere on our way back and have dinner, if you would like to of course”

“I would love to! I’m starving, plus we haven’t hung out in a while, it’ll be nice to chat a little”

“Yeah” was what Kakashi replied, though he seemed, (Y/N) thought, to be a bit tense but she shrugged off that feeling once they started walking back to the village.

They decided to stop at one of their favourite cafes in Konoha (consciously avoiding Ichiraku’s ramen to avoid bumping into Naruto) to have dinner together and talk about the usual stuff like mission etc.

(Y/N) really missed talking to Kakashi, he was like a soothing presence to her, his voice never failed to make her feel a little happier then before. Whenever they were sharing these simple moments, even as just friends, (Y/N) couldn’t help but feel butterflies in her stomach each time. It was a bittersweet sensation in which she felt both very happy and sad because of the fact that she was in love with her best friend, but would be to scared to actually make a move.

She snapped out of her thoughts when food came and they ate in silence.

When they finished eating their dinner, they both exited the shop and started walking together through the village.

“So how was your last mission? You’ve been gone for quite a while. Tsunade told me it was a very important top secret mission” asked Kakashi after a while.

“It worked out somehow. I didn’t think it would take so long either but we had to deal with something unexpected which caused us to carry out the mission for 3 weeks straight”

“I see” said Kakashi before he went silent again. To be honest he was being pretty silent, not that he was and extremely talkative person, but still when he was with (Y/N) he would usually be more relaxed. This time however he seemed to be lost in thoughts and she found herself wondering what it could be.

They sat on a bench, admiring in silence the starry sky. It was a comfortable silence, each of them appreciating the others presence.

(Y/N) let out a small shiver when their arms accidentally brushed against each other.

“Are you cold?” asked Kakashi.

“No, I’m fine” she answered before letting out a long sigh.

“Is something wrong? Your mind seems to be somewhere else”

(Y/N) was taken aback by his comment, realising she had been just staring at the sky for a while, thinking about him, to be honest. She didn’t exactly know why but she felt the urge to be honest to him so she spoke her mind: “Nothing’s wrong it’s just- I really missed hanging out with you, you know, being with you and just talking about nothing in particular. And it makes me a little sad that these moments have become a rarity lately, because of our schedules and everything...”. She had no idea why she went that far expressing her feelings towards him. Damn this almost sounded like a confession.

When she realised what she just said, (Y/N) turned her gaze from Kakashi, trying to hide her face that was now a blushing mess.

Kakashi didn’t say anything. He was looking at her, a blush of his own barely visible under his mask. (Y/N) had never been this sentimental with him before. Could it be possible that she was trying to tell him what he wished she was trying to tell him? - he thought.

It was now or never, thought Kakashi. She had just opened up to him and now he felt like it was the perfect time to do the same and tell her about his feelings. “There something I want you to know (Y/N)” he spoke up, making the girl finally turn her face towards him with a questioned look.

“I really like you, you know, more than just a friend”.

That’s it. He said it. There was no going back, so he went on “I’ve been acting like we’re just friends but I can’t do it anymore because I think-“ he stopped for a second, thinking about what he was about to say “- I think I’m in love with you and can’t keep pretending otherwise”

(Y/N) stood there, her eyes widened and a shocked expression on her face. There she was thinking she had just made a fool of herself in front of Kakashi for almost confessing her feelings to him, and now she just heard him say he loved her??

Soon enough the shocked expression she wore was replaced with a closed-eyed smile: “I love you too Kakashi” she finally said, then added with a chuckle “I was scared to tell you ‘cause I thought it would ruin our friendship but if you put it like that...”

When she reopened her eyes she saw Kakashi lower his mask (which didn’t shock her much since being best friends for such a long time meant that she had seen his face in many occasions) and leaning forward, cupping her cheek. She did the same until their lips finally met.

(Y/N) thought that the feeling of Kakashi’s soft lips on hers was the best.

After a few seconds, they gently started moving their lips in unison to deepen the kiss.

When the two broke apart, gasping for air, they both smiled at each other.

Maybe, (Y/N) thought, things did change after all.