#there was supposed to be more to this but I really couldnt bring myself to finish it fully so u get the best part instead <3

[ind1c0lite]

Them <3 (also trying out a new brush and a different lighting style hjklj)

[hg-aneh]

SO 👏

someone mentioned my other catboy omens stuff in a few tags (thank you btw <3) and I decided I'd just dump all of it in a single post outside of the main tag

... I've spammed enough of my things on it today

*cough* Here's that post :D

(Backstory sketchy ass comics under the cut)

(Yes, that's Eve)

(Madame Tracy and Aziraphale are adoptive siblings in this :D)

CW for grooming and SA attempt committed by one (1) Lucifer on this next one.

It's nothing explicit but it's definitely heavily implied.

And ofc I left it there bc I got distracted with other things.

Sorry if the story and dialogue are wack, I'm not a writer and english ain't my native language.

This is all before Azi and Crow meet, they were supposed to have a really cool adventure with lots of feelings after this, but... yknow what happened

Also dont think for a second that Azi had it any easier, my boy was declawed and forced to act more human before he got adopted skgkd

If there's any questions (of course there are, I didn't explain shit for the sake of not making this post any longer than it already is sjgbc), I'd be pleased to answer them

I'm sad that I couldnt bring myself to do anything with them romancing around besides those two first drawings

But at least there's this

Thank you if you survived this post, have a free cookie and a lovely day 🍪

[perfectlovevn]

hi boss! absolutely loved Perfect Love and you did such an amazing job with the entire game's execution! i loved how you were able to so clearly portray eris as f-ked up and the main instigator for everything, pulling the strings behind the scenes instead of the usual "i didnt do anything wrong" or "im just trying to survive" type of MC (which isnt bad at all, but im so happy with the freshness and utter depravity eris brings) i love your art and the intentionally messy style that highlights the disorganisation and chaos in both eris' and milo's mind, the recurring motifs of eyes, red, blue, god i can go on and on. really your vn is so well crafted with how intentional every creative decision taken seems, im going crazy with the amount of love, time and effort you put into perfect love.

ive read every single name easter egg you put and the references to other yandere vns/media (jd <3) AND went on to give us more with adding little quips later in the game depending on the nickname eris gives milo. i was literally going crazy with how i couldnt decode the 2nd type of cipher you scattered throughout the code until 2 days later when i was ready to give up and ask you hahaha

from there, if it isnt too spoilerish, is there reason you used the nihilist cipher that removed the letter J instead of the usual Z ? and ! i loved the snippets with the friendship gang, tysm for leaving in your writing process and brainstorming products in the game files i had so much fun <3 im so sorry for the rant and thank you so much for the game! 1000% looking forward to your next one if youre working on something!

Hello! Thank you for your kind words!

Yeah, one of the main reasons I made Eris like that because because of how much I really wanted to see more evil MC in visual novels (or just yandere media in general). While there isn't anything wrong with having a yandere who is just there to survive, there is something very fun about being the one who causes the yandere to become worse than he initially was.

I'm glad that you found such meaning in the art style! Honestly the biggest reason I drew it like that was because I was trying to get it done for the 2023 yanjam and I didn't want to overwhelm myself so I just made mostly everything black and white. That and it's supposed to symbolize more of the darker aspects of the game. Did you know all my assets were drawn with one brush?

Thank you so much! I hope you enjoy the details because I really did try to put as much as I could in there. Since I think it would be fun for people to see the neat details people put in the game (I know I sure do when I play visual novels), I tried to make everything very catered to what was going on in the story. It did take some extra work, but I think it's good for the game and my general learning experience. I'm also glad you enjoyed the easter eggs I put in for names and nicknames. I was very sleep deprived when I did it and I kept adding them in because I don't have good attention span (or at least, that's part of the reason).

For the cyphers inside of the code, I put a hint at the very top relating to each of the code. Each of the four types is represented of the three Milos with the one in English being from Eris. The Nhilist cypher is specifically for Manipulation and the key is in the second line based off of the capitalized letters.

Yeah! I'm glad you liked it. I'm still in the middle of writing the other ones (I'm working on the one with Poison in it, which recounts what Eris did to get Poison to fight Violent in his route). I always like leaving my drafts in there because I always find it fun to see people's thought progress in code and games.

No, no, I love your rant on it! I think it's really fun seeing what other people like, dislike and thought about the game in general! My next game will be a lot more light hearted, but still have a yandere character in it.

[aromantic-diaries]

so, im both aro and ace (despite the amount of sex jokes and calling people hot, still asexual)

well, this is a long story, sorry in advance

so, im talking to this friend (A) here, he says something that is sooo aro-coded, and im like "this guy is probably aro-spec too and maybe he doesnt know so lets help a little" and i tell him to read loveles because 'the main character is very relatable', he ends up with him knowing about aro identities, he questioned his own sexuality before and he isnt aro, but with the 'very relatable' part i sold myself out as aro, and he wasnt arophobic (he literally said he almost used the label so) so it was okay

fast forward a year , we are talking, sexuality ends up as a topic, and i confess i didnt come up to anyone, the only people who knew were him and another friend who found out by accident (really supportive, even though im not sure that i was ready), he ask about this other friend of ours (B) and why i didnt come out to her, considering she is queer herself. i think im not ready to do that, both times i came out were not intentional and though it didnt end up badly still, not ready, also, my relationship with this friend is, well we mostly talk about gossip and all of her crushes, boyfriends, etc., basically it was purely sexual acts and romance, not my favourite topic of conversation but i we dont have anything in common outside shared memories (childhood besties) and school and we are both pretty unpopular so no more people) plus we never talk deep shit so i felt weird bring it up

few days later, the three of us were in class and talking about our teachers (and shipping them cause we are nosy), we get to his teacher and i say that i couldnt picture her with an special other and A says "like asexual, you mean", (it was more like aro but i didnt feel like explaining the difference plus i was panicking a little because i knew where this was going) and A countinues "B, what do you think of asexual people?", B says something in support, and then he asks me "[my name] do you know any asexual people in real life?" with a look on his face saying 'come out', i kinda evade the question so he asks B if she knew any, and B answers she had the theory that i was ace (i mean, she was right). i didnt know what to do so i made a joke "was it so obvious?"

i dont think i was ready to come out to her and i didnt want it to happen, but the conversation didnt end up bad, she was supportive but still i wasnt ready. i dont think it counts as getting outed because he just forced the conversation that way but didnt really say "[my name] is aroace", but i dont know of B hadnt mentioned her theory, would he had outed me?

i dont know how to feel, im basically venting, maybe do you have any advice for this situation?

I really don't think anyone should make you come out if you don't want to do it and it's supposed to be your choice so this sounds like something you should really talk about with friend A and explain to him that you didn't want to come out yet and that this wasn't okay. It is lucky that friend B was supportive though because this type of situation is even messier when the other person is not supportive. But even so it's still a gamble because most of the time you can't predict how someone will react and it's better to not take the risk of coming out to someone, let alone put someone else at risk. I hope you can talk this through with friend A

[fish-at-fish-fish-resort]

*ring* *ring*

"allo?"

"hey candi, its me mahi"

"oh morning mahi. why're you calling this early? did something happen?"

"more or less. do you think you and ikkan can handle the store alone today? i couldnt sleep a wink last night and REALLY dont feel capable of going to work today. *sniff* i dont wanna lock myself in the bathroom like neta always does hehe"

"take your time darling, well handle the shop today. take care of yourself alright? if you need to talk to someone i can always lend an ear."

"thanks candi. but dont worry, mizoles coming over in a bit anyway. im good. i promise. see you tomorrow."

*click*

"mahi?"

"over here"

"babe..... what happened"

"nothing... im just overreacting...."

"no youre not. tell me whats on your mind"

"youre gonna think its dumb..."

"i should feel insulted you think that about me"

"pff ur right. im just worried about neta and warabi. especially warabi. actually only warabi, i know neta can handle himself. and i know neta said its just a low risk mission but what if something happens to him. what if he gets into some dumb argument with some other soldier and gets beaten up. what if he gets lost. what if he dies. and- and i cant call or text him or anything because they couldnt *hic* couldnt bring their phones and im just so lonely and i dont know what to do without him here *sniff* i miss him so much"

"and its just the 3rd day of their mission and theyll be gone for at least 2 more days and i already cant sleep! i just want him back home.....ugh sorry i probably sound pathetic"

"no you just sound like your wife died"

"i FEEL like my wife died!" *uncontrolled sobbing*

"hey... cmere... look at me. theyll be fine alright? warabi managed to get on netas good side im sure the other soldiers will warm up to him too. plus neta wouldnt let anything happen to his number one employees best friend and husbands bandmate, right? and im sure if it was actually dangerous his parents wouldve intervened"

"*sniff* yeah... youre right.... i just miss him....."

"i have an idea. were gonna have a fun day together: eat breakfast at a nice buffet and go to wahoo world. we can also call your friend, uhhh what was her name? umami??"

"umishi?"

"yeah that one! she can join too! i wanted to get to know her anyway"

"hehe i dont know if shed like to get to know you though"

"whats that supposed to mean?"

"oh nothing nothing hehehe"

"hmmm fine whatever, ill excuse it cause youre cute."

"youre such a sap"

"and you smell like rotten sushi. get in the shower, im cleaning your kitchen"

>this plays parrallel to @yesyourstalker's posts w warabi and neta. :) just thought hmmmm how does mahi feel about this

umishi was metnioned sooooo @catastropic

[luckyspade-8]

The Wonderful Dreaming of Double Hearts

A Twiddler Valentines exchange fic.

Prompts: Meet cute, First Date

Word count: roughly 600

Synopsis: One intelligent man makes a double mined person swoo with confusing words right into a date.

Tw: None, just a jokey NSFW joke at the end. So still, Minor DNI. Go eat those Valentines candies instead.

Notes: Happy Valentines Day @tr4sh-pl4nt !!

"We just had to fall for that e- eg- egg mat- Fuck! Whats that word again?"

"Enigmatic, Harv."

"Yeah, that damn smooth talker. He talked us right into that date."

"Yeah. He did do that, didn't he.." Harvey sighed looking into the cracked mirror, trying to smooth out the shirt with one hand. Oh, how he can clearly remember meeting him.

"Why hello there, my good sirs. My my, what a wonderful day isn't it?"

Taking a moment to think, or really let the coin make a choice, Harv is the first to respond by whipping his head around.

"What the hell do you want?"

"Why, such a spitfire you are. I'm going say you must be Harv. And that makes the other.."

The ginger in a vibrant green ensemble gestures to the other side of the suit.

"Harvey Dent. And I'm sorry, but I don't think we met?"

"Oh but we have, Mr. Dent. We certainly have."

"I don't remember that shit happening, pal."

"Well, let me spin you the glorious tale of how I remember it."

Taking the open seat across, the oddball of a man sits down, still with no name.

"You both were sat in this restaurant, and I happened to walk in, wanting some good food. Then, I saw you.

The duality of beauty and honesty. How perfection should be. How justice can be so pretty when it looks scared. Just so, amazing and handsome. " He said with a sly grin.

Hearing this, Harvey's side started to flush easily. And he could have sworn Harv's started to warm.

"So, I had to introduce myself as Edward Nymga, as that is my name. And then, we had this marvelous conversation. Of how much we are just so, similar. How we refuse to let anything stop us. Of how we just couldnt stand the state of the world and how we want to fix it ourselves. And then.."

Reaching out to the other's hand on the table slowly, Edward started to lean in.

"Right as I was about to ask to meet again, even if I had to beg or barter.."

The puzzling man leaned closer into their face, lowered his voice to listen to the hitches in their breath.

Suddenly falling back into his seat, Edward sighs sadly with a pout.

"..I woke up. Shame isn't?"

"What?"

".. You mean that shit was-"

"All a fantastic dream. But of course, some dream do come true, don't they Mr. Dent? So..."

Suddenly pulling a card from his sleeve and sliding it across the table, Edward continues.

"I'll be meeting you back here, 7:30 on Friday, right?"

Barely even comprehending what just happened, they lazily flipped the coin in a daze and looks at the side it landed on.

"I suppose."

"I- huh. Wha-?"

"Great! I'll cover dinner then."

Suddenly getting up, Edward starts to walk out.

"Oh, and please wear that red and black suit I've seen you wear before, I find it so lovely. It really brings out your eyes. Ciao Ciao Bello!~"

Snapping back to reality, Harv huffs.

"Can't believe you fucking fell for Harvey."

"Say the one who didn't even understand what the last thing he said was and just went 'you too'."

"Shut the fuck up, school boy, how was I supposed to know he call us handsome in fucking Italian?!"

"Oh, I guess you blasting Bella Ciao a lot more than you should into our ears didn't teach you anything?"

"Just shut the fuck up and help me with the fucking buttons on this thing! It aint exactly easy buttoning this satin suit with one hand asshole. Let alone tie that fucking rose knot you so desperately want to do to impress this guy."

"Hey, that was your idea. You said it, not me."

"I will fucking pull out the coin over this shit again, we already fought over what lacey shit to wear under this."

[youracecard]

Tw: vent, Sa

Lol. Yap sesh.

Im feeling. Not great again. These feeling are always at the top of my head, I haven't had a moment of peace in the past three weeks. I can't enjoy a time of hanging out with anyone or talking with anyone without thinking of it. So uh, just gonna.. yap here about it. Its hard to talk to any irls about it and i dont wanna annoy my discord pals w more yapping bout this topic

Silly anim becuz. I dont know. I needed to create something.

When i was younger, about 8 or 7 or. Or. Or. I dont remembwr any more. I cant fucking remember. I had a babysitter, his name was. Dumb to me, i guess. John or whatevwr. I only remembwr personal details like that because of his sister, she had the same name as the person who used to be my best friend so i got really easily attached. She was. The one who taught me how to shuffle a deck of cards lol

I remember John bringing me upstairs one day

Its all. Gone. I only remember a few things and i hate thqt. I need to remember, but i dont know how.

"Youre so beutiful!" "Do you have any friends at school?" eh.. not really, ahah.. "I can be your friend!"

"Do you know what sex is?"

"Do you want to try?"

"Its our secret"

"You cant tell your mom or dad."

God. Fuck. Oh my god. Why did i have to be so stupid? What in my stupid little dumb brain saif it would be a good idea?

I didnt know what sex was at thw time. After some years, my parwnts had "the talk" with me.

it all clicked.

i needed to tell them.

i HAD to.

But, i needed the right time.

So i waited,

And waited,

And waited,

I cant remembwr how much time had passed. But, i do remember the sinking feeling of my chest every day. Guilt was building. What if it was too late? What would happen if i told them?

One day, they were coming home

I told them i needed to talk to thwm.

And talk we did

I dont remember anything from that day to thw first day i went to the people who were supposed to help

I rememeber the yellow room, the oneway mirror they hid behind, i remember the little bag they gave me.I still have the pretty blue quilt in my bedroom, laying on my messy floor among a buncha papers.

I was so 'brave'. Apparently though, it wasnt enough.

I recently had a breakdown where i cried at a theater rehearsel, and my dad came to pick me up. He was so mad at me. I couldnt tell him qhat was wrong, i was still crying and my younger sibling was RIGHT thwre. Eventually, he told her to get in the car. Lucky me.

I told him why i had the 'breakdown', and he told me that. The guy was never arrested. Fun. Thats fun. My dad comforted me and made up a lie to tell my siblings, and we went to get some food to cheer me up.

It was. Scary. I feel so bad, I couldnt say enough and that man is still out there. Its my fault. I dont know how to fix myself and just let myself forget. I guess im just gonna be like this forevwr.

I can never experiance a happy moment without thinking about what happened.

[corpse-flame]

oh man! questions! so I would like to play Invisible Torment sometime but haven't got around to it yet, is there anything you can tell me about it that will maybe wanna help me get myself to play it sooner? or just anything you wanna share about it, not necessarily something I'll understand right away, I can come back to it after playing. Just talk about your game if you like!

ohhh well--- i didnt expect a question about ITe (shortening of Invisible Torment) and to be honest- i forgot how most routes go and which option leads to what, it took me about 7-9 months to develop it i think... which isnt that many cuz i couldnt even bring myself to work on it half of the time, but i also work fast soooo its kinda ???

So the main character (not the character you play as) is inspired by my most favorite characters of all time. i only made this character a year ago and this was my main goal with them. to see if i would like a character like that if i wrote them myself. there are references to these characters in one of the backgrounds... im thinking of making an update that just adds a kinito reference there too. (im honestly surprised that he was so similar to them... like, except the virtual part)

i guess i should say stuff about what basically happens in it??? i dont really know how to do that but the jist is that you find yourself in hell and the demon who was supposed to be your eternal tormentor doesnt want to do their job and instead tries to be friends with you. it, most of the time, goes horribly wrong.

also something i definitelly want to add is, there are MANY secrets and random events in it. and im pretty sure nobody even found most of them. i know not a lot of people even downloaded it but still...

There is more than your eyes will see.

[duncebento]

you study abroad right? how has that been? i want to but im worried its going to be too hard to adjust to plus school

i do!! i’ll give pros n cons though they might be specific

pros:

- i’m confident that i’m getting some of the best education i could be, which even though i’m from new york where there r many college options i still feel that it would’ve been settling to stay at home. to me it’s worth being there for the school

- i do like having the opportunity to immerse myself in another language as someone interested in linguistics!

- for italy specifically, food, art, architecture, pre-capitalist city planning which i feel is more….human-centric?

- since my school is in english, i have meet ppl from allll around the world. my class was originally 16 ppl and we were from 10 different countries across 5 continents. of the friends i’ve made there, one is chinese from hungary, one is from portugal, one is from india, one is from zimbabwe, and two are other usamericans.

- the cost isn’t great since it’s a private school, but i’m still paying less than i could have been in the US, n godwilling i will not graduate w student debt

- europe has trains so i can go places so easily

- night-out bar and club culture that i wouldn’t have access to yet in the US w/out a fake, but which i feel is crucial to the college experience lol. will treasure memories dancing to live music at the cuban bar, drinking spritzes on the river, bringing bottles of prosecco to house parties

cons:

- paperwork is so annoying ESPECIALLY because italian bureaucracy is ill-managed. BUT americans have such a passport privelege, my old roommate from iran couldnt come to school for months bc of her visa

- apts are still expensive i general, especially in places like florence w a high tourist appeal bc they are also airbnb infected, which has totally jacked up rent rates. right now i’m blessedly paying what i would definitely call reduced rent because a rich friend of a friend of a friend had an old apartment that she’s renting to me for far less than market price. but without knowing people from the area already apt hunting is hell.

- it’s not entirely a con, but def a learning curve around communication, because european profs are often excitable or brusque or sometimes even cruel in my experience in a way that wouldn’t fly so much in american colleges (though part of that is the fashion element imo.) it was hard for many americans to adapt to this sort of criticism

- i am definitely more conscious of my blackness in italy, ppl are more ignorant about black people (though imo not actually more hateful.) but ppl are also so amazed by my hair which is nice sometimes lol…..american whites will like never compliment black hair cos theyre scared. but yeah white ppl in europe dont have much of a faux pas developed against certain racism yet

- i do miss my family when i’m there— though now i miss my friends when i’m not there! and the time zone diff >_<

- it is very easy to be lonely, esp. at first. at fashion school i’m not really around “my type” of people, which means i feel really isolated even around the other americans. they just don’t know how to make heads or tails of me i suppose. but then, if i really think of it, that might just be a con of being weird in general. my usual odds of finding someone i really gel with are about 1/500, so that puny statistic decreases even further when most ppl around me don’t speak english as a first language.

[swimminginlakes]

Toxic relationships

Unfortunately, some of us don't realize just how toxic your relationship was until you get out of it. So here's some shit that my ex did that I'd never let anyone do to me now :]

told me he'd break up with me if i went to see my favourite band (and that's why i didn't go, SHAME!!!)

getting mad at me for not eating a lot at his new years eve party when i explicitly told him i wasnt gonna eat much (had a weird relationship with food at that time and recently returned from the hospital for it) and never standing up for me when his parents asked me if i thought their house and food was unclean

always made fun of me together with his parents for the jobs i had to work (his family was quite wealthy and they always let me know, while i had to work to support myself and my gradma who raised me because my parents fucked off when i was little)

getting mad at me one year for not coming to another new years eve party cause i didnt want to leave said grandmother alone

getting mad at me for forgetting condoms at my house and not bringing them over (he refused to keep condoms at his house because what if his parents found them !!! that was honestly one of the stupidest fucking things ever said by anyone but oh well, i was young lol)

always judging me if i dared buy fruit or veggies because they are expensive and i was complaining about having no money (but i refuse to eat foods without veggies, im not a monster)

getting mad when i didnt wanna have sex (because honestly he wasnt that good at it and he was silent through the whole time so i felt creeped out)

screamed at me for forgetting the condoms once (apparently he thought i was cheating on him because his ex did that and clearly i was the same because i was a woman... then again, he could keep the condoms with him and we wouldnt have this problem)

we were supposed to move in together but he wouldnt take my suggestions when it came to the house, and always rather asked his parents. naturally i got mad because it was me who was supposed to live there so i told him to move in with his mommy cause im fucking done with his behaviour. he didnt talk to me for 3 days and then messaged me asking if im willing to pay for the furniture and that his parents are driving us to IKEA, because they picked out the perfect bed and whatever. told him to go to hell

his parents and grandparents always kept talking about how highly intellingent he is and how lucky i was to have met him but he couldnt even read the instruction manual to build a garden shed without my help so where the IQ at? (this isnt really toxic but it fucking pissed me off hearing how perfect he is when he couldnt even buy fruit at the store that wasnt already moldy, like how dumb can you be to not check my guy)

his parents always asking me if i can cook well because how else am i gonna take care of him???? ????? what do you mean? why can't he cook himself? that's literally a basic human skill and if he can't do it he shouldn't be moving out of your house where you do all for him, even wipe his scrawny little ass (he couldn't even do that properly, he had skid marks every fucking where. it was truly disgusting)

told me if i don't let him read my diary it's a sign that i'm hiding something from him. i said i'm allowed to have private thoughts that he doesn't know about and he didn't talk to me for like a week

I'm sure there's much more. I just randomly started thinking about it yesterday because i was reading my old diaries and have seen how far I've come and how different I am as a person now.

[pesterloglog]

Jane Crocker, Jake English

Candy, page 6

JANE: Jake?

JANE: Jake! Jake, where are you?!

JAKE: Oh jane how unexpected!

JANE: Are you alright?!

JAKE: What? Of course! Why wouldnt i be?

JANE: I heard a horrible noise! What was all the racket?

JAKE: Oh this?

JAKE: Just a little morning target practice!

JANE: You do this... in... inside the house?

JAKE: Well of course jane where else would i do it? Bringing this operation outside would only startle the neighbors!

JAKE: I must ask jane... it seems that you are rather frazzled. Are you sure you arent the one whos not alright?

JANE: Have you talked to Dirk lately?

JAKE: Er not exactly. I would say that i have been talked *to* by dirk.

JAKE: But the communique has certainly not been two sided.

JANE: Ah, yes. It seems that we’re in the same boat then.

JANE: I haven’t heard from him. I stopped by his workshop, but it was locked. If he was in there, he wouldn’t come out.

JAKE: I dont see what all the ruckus is. Our good chum dirk fancies himself a dark and tortured soul. Cutting us off is not entirely out of his wheelhouse.

JANE: Yes, but not like this. It’s been years since he’s done a full blackout on us. Oh, I’m terribly worried.

JAKE: You worry far too much jane! Life has become so peaceable on this new planet of ours that i suppose dirk has merely tired of this idyllic life. It has either driven him permanently or temporarily insane.

JAKE: Thats my theory at least. Maybe its tommyrot but i have faith that dirk will be back. After all where is he going to go?

JANE: ...You seem rather cavalier about this.

JANE: Like, even more cavalier than you usually are.

JAKE: I must admit i am rather half rats at the moment.

JANE: You’re what?

JAKE: Haha sorry that was a pretty obtuse way of putting it wasnt it.

JAKE: What i mean to say is that ive been powdering my hair quite a bit today.

JANE: First thing in the morning?

JAKE: Well i needed the bottles for my target practice jane i couldnt just pour the wine down the drain! Thatd be a waste!

JANE: You know what, Jake?

JANE: You’re right. It really would be a waste!

JAKE: Jeepers jane! Slow down!

JANE: Could you leave us alone, please?

JAKE: Jane i must ask again... are you quite alright?

JANE: Actually no, I am quite not!

JAKE: I will say. You really seem like youve got the morbs!

JANE: I canceled my presidential bid.

JAKE: What? I was under the impression that you were awfully chuffed about that!

JANE: I was so incredibly chuffed about it, Jake. But Dirk called me just before his disappearance and told me to “cancel everything.” And so...

JANE: ...I canceled everything.

JAKE: Why jane do you really need dirk to run for president?

JAKE: I know that he had set himself up as your plenipotentiary but it seems to me that you have everything you need to win the day without him.

JANE: Well yes, I suppose that I could run a successful presidential campaign on my own merits, especially since Dirk and I developed most of our strategy together.

JANE: But now that I’ve pulled out I can’t just go back and tell them I’ve changed my mind. That would be so embarrassing! It would make me look wishy-washy. I can see the headlines now, calling me a “terminal flip-flopper.”

JANE: Also...

JANE: Somehow it just doesn’t seem right without Dirk.

JAKE: Dirk has that manner about him does he not?

JAKE: A way about him that makes you feel like whatever you do as long as it does not involve him it doesnt count for dick.

JANE: I hadn’t thought about it that way.

JANE: But yes, ever since I talked to him I have felt... strange.

JAKE: Strange how?

JANE: Strange like you just explained... like nothing I do matters. I should be more upset that I’ve spoiled my chance at running for president, but for some reason I find myself not really caring.

JANE: And that’s what I’m actually so upset about. The fact that I don’t care!

JANE: Instead...

JANE: Oh, this is mortifying to admit, but I’ve been thinking that perhaps I’ve been doing the wrong thing with my life.

JANE: Instead of all this business politicking I’ve been doing, what I’d really like...

JANE: Is to settle down and raise a family.

JANE: Does that sound ridiculous?

JAKE: Why that doesnt sound ridiculous at all! Its just that ive never heard you express such sentiments before.

JAKE: Except of course for that time when you were under mind control and had me trussed up in your lair as you pontificated villainously about using me as a breeding stud to create a blood lineage for your incumbent corporate space empire.

JANE: Oh...

JANE: You still remember that.

JAKE: Jane youre one of my most cherished friends. I couldnt possibly forget a single moment weve spent together no matter how sexually uncomfortable the situation may have been.

JANE: Well, Jake, it doesn’t always have to be that way.

JANE: Putting business first? Ignoring the good things in my life chasing profit? I’m sick of it.

JANE: I think that I could be... loving. I could be a good wife.

JANE: For the kind of man who needs a good wife in his life.

JANE: Like, say, an eligible bachelor with a hundred empty rooms in his house and no one to help clean them...

JANE: Who has been recently and mysteriously abandoned by his long term... “companion.” Or whatever he was.

JANE: Someone handsome and lonely and who knows me well enough that we need not fear showing each other our less savory sides.

JANE: Such as... being drunk at nine in the morning.

JANE: Oh, Jake, isn’t that the dream?

JAKE: Jane...

JAKE: I say this sincerely as one of your oldest and dearest friends.

JAKE: I hope that you have luck in finding a charming and bricky bloke who will summarily impregnate you with as much swiftness as possible and be a responsible father for your children.

JAKE: There is nothing for you i want more.

JANE: ...

JANE: Well, then.

[everything-i-couldnt-tell-u]

i dont know if i really just got lost in you since i dont really talk to anyone else and im stuck at home being chronically online. i dont know if i just couldnt live without pouring my love onto someone and you were the only one available before. but i guess im not really that done grieving yet and i still get affected by it every once in a while.

i cant figure out what my problem is and why i still feel like it's killing me. im finding it hard to remember why i even loved you. i think the main reason why i did love you before was because i haven't felt safe in anyone or anywhere as much as i did with you. but that was only before. i wanted to keep believing that i'd feel safe with you once again if i'd wait a little longer and if i tried letting myself get vulnerable. i wanted to keep hoping and staying cause those moments before with you were the only times i actually felt i could feel safe in this cruel world. but the more i tried hoping, the more it only got proven to me that i'll never really feel that anymore. the more i try believing, the more i just disappoint myself and get hurt.

even though you already said you never meant any of those, they still kept adding up. i really dont know if im just blind and i only keep seeing those things, but they still scare me so much. i still suddenly get scared and paranoid when i accidentally talk about myself in front of you cause what good has that done for me in the past? whenever i tried saying or tweeting things wishing you would care even just a bit before but i'd get a notif of you replying to my other tweets cause you saw something wrong about me that you could nag. it killed me every time that happened even though it sounds so stupid. maybe it's not rational to make my judgement based on that but i dont really know anymore. i dont like asking people directly cause words ive heard are always either empty or lies. ive tried talking about my interests twice in your dms the past month but you sounded dry so i never tried that again. im not gonna risk it.

i dont know if im just connecting dots that aren't supposed to be connected like the paranoid and overthinking loser i am. from the very first time you've broken my trust, what you did made me feel like i was someone you looked down on. but i tried ignoring that cause you said you didnt intend to humiliate me. however when you kept nagging me, it opened that old scar again. im sorry if i sound like im just bringing it up but thats not what im doing here if ever you think of it that way. like i said, i dont have any problem with getting called out but too much of it made me feel like you see me as someone who can't do anything good. the way how you're able to express it so easily when you're angry at me made it hard to remember if you really said anything about liking me for who i am. i cant remember if you even did or if i just made up things in my head. i cant remember it anymore cause what if i was just lying to myself that you cared? and whenever you said you cared, what was it even about me that you cared about? what if you only cared about the love i gave you but not me myself? to be honest i never really believed it when you said you care cause your actions made me feel the opposite. it did feel like you care about my flaws, my mental and emotional instability, but how about the good things about me? do you care about those too? but okay im sorry i was never your responsibility. i cant force you to care about those things. and it's not like you would gain anything good for caring about someone like me.

what if i just started seeing things that were never there out of my stupid desperation. maybe you cared before, but not anymore? i've shown you too much of my worst parts and im scared you only see me like that now. how am i supposed to believe what you said about how you cant show people when you love them, how am i gonna believe what i cant see and what i can barely feel, how can you expect me to believe that? do you really just cant show it or do you just have nothing to show? the way you always found wrong things about me to point out before combined with what you said that you cant show that you appreciate me reminded me of both my parents, the combination of the two persons in this world i feel the least safe with. both of them cant control their mouths when they're angry too. but i guess thats normal and i cant really expect people to do what i do. people will only really control their anger if they cared enough about someone and still make time to be considerate. but that was the last straw. i know it's not your goddamn fault and im really just unlucky.

its still my fault for hoping and wanting too much so i guess fate did its job again and it had to remind me of something unbearable so i'd finally stop. i was stubborn for craving something i know i wont be allowed to get from you. it had to hurt me this much just for me to finally stop and its funny.

i never really wanted you to reciprocate the love i gave, but i wish you could've at least handled it properly. i dont really need anything else since im burying my old self. ill just accept it and face that i wont get what i wanted from you, cause first of all i never had the right. and since im burying him anyway, it no longer matters to me if you cared or not. i dont wanna keep crying over those things anymore cause it's not doing me any good. i dont wanna bother you any longer about those things as well. im sure you're sick of my long paragraphs already. and i know youre done with my drama. i already said im putting those aside so ill make sure i do.

i only agreed with starting over but never about letting my old self reconcile with you cause i cant afford that, i cant afford to let his dumbass get hurt again. no offense regarding the things ive said above and if it's not reasonable for me to have those conclusions cause i havent really seen everything you've done for me, but that's how it felt. im sorry but i can no longer try believing it if it's not something you can show. therefore im burying myself so that i can stop hoping.

but i atleast want to know what exactly was i even to you before and now, if i even meant anything, and why exactly? not if you cared about him. i just wanna know what he was to you and why, if ever he did mean anything.

[twopercentboy]

I could write shit on a wall

Sign it

And you'd still love it enough to

Unabashadly say I remind you of your favorite poet (something i will cherish till the universe lays flat)

Or love something so much it makes you talk about your life

Memories

Features

Maybe subconsciously you know how much i treasure these anecdotes

Or maybe youre just that beautiful

But I adore you

And your poor vision

PoetAnon

funny enough this one also very much reminds me of my favorite poet giggle the rhythm of the words and especially the parentheses asides, though I wonder if it may just also be a modern+queer poetry thing, like assumedly similar (queer and/or specifically queer American) cultural influences and while v technically speaking I don't know for sure, I'm going to jump to the assumption that this poetry is perhaps the teeniest tiniest bit queer 🤏 but knowing the way lots of modern queer poetry is written and writing good poetry are two separate things and ur definitely the latter

also makes me realize that ur writing all these poems for me and you probably don't even know my face, which is crazy to me that u saw the way I present myself on Tumblr (not that I'm Trying to present myself a specific way, more so that I don't post about myself much I suppose) and thought I was worth writing poems for, just based on the very limited anecdotes I make on posts or in tags

and another anecdote about my vision (I could honestly just go on and on and on bc I find vision in general pretty interesting): since ive had glasses since I was 3 or 4 I didn't quite realize just how bad my eyes are compared to ppl who don't need glasses until last year. like I had no frame of practical reference how other people see until a lab activity where we had to test our vision in different ways and I decided to do it without my glasses for funsies. I learned very quickly that without my glasses my depth perception is jack shit, which explains why I always have trouble with walls in the middle of the night, and I also realized how badly nearsighted I am without my glasses too. like yk the letter charts? well most ppl when standing 20 ft from it can read the 20/20 vision line (normal vision acuity), I could only read the 20/100 line with complete accuracy, which means i can see at 20 feet away what most people can see at 100 feet. and I was doing those tests with a bunch of my friends around so for the next like 3 weeks they kept bringing up how bad my eyes are, especially my very much lacking depth perception 💀 and the worst part is the depth perception test I mostly just guessed and hoped bc i couldnt really tell so its probably worse than that test showed. oh and I realized how bad/annoying my astigmatism is during this Christmas break bc we went to Austin and there are so many more cars there and I realized I could never drive at night in a big ish city bc the headlights would just be too much 😭

[blackvail22]

9/24/23 — 1:10am

theres a lot that happened within the past two days its insane. on the 22nd, i had to train this new associate for the whole day. he's rlly nice, and he's fun to talk to. he caught on really quick! im excited to work with him

also, that same day, i got back with my ex!!! it could be a dumb decision (because this is the 3rd time) but i really want things to work out. again, no one is going to know besides you... and... my coworkers, but thats different

the coworker that gave me his number, he gave me a note at work that says "im awkward so i dont know how to say this out loud, but i like you" and then taped a soda tab on it (it was the "hug" meaning one, which... i dont like but could be worse). so! ive told the new associate i have a boyfriend. im going to tell them i have a boyfriend, but im telling those im closest to at work that its because i dont want my worker to hit on me anymore

if he keeps going after that, i have to report him. im not letting someone get away with that, not this time.

i have to start standing up for myself... im just scared because of that teenager who got killed because she rejected her (adult) co-worker, im afraid its going to be me. this is the reason i dont like hearing abt death.

on another note, back to abt my boyfriend....

im writing this as soon as i ended the call with him. i miss him already. i wonder how and why my brain changes how i react to things because of a label. i feel so clingy. i want to talk to him more. he does make me happy, and i hope i make him happy too

oh, i also bought this candle... its supposed to "smell like london" and it says the scent is "afternoon biscuits and tea" so thats nice. i bought it to think of you, nd its nice that the color of the candle matches my room

oh last thing ! i took my permit drivers test and i passed it! feels so surreal because i never thought i was ever gonna end up driving but here we are lol

anyways i like this song

6:06am —

dude i couldnt fall asleep until like 4:30am and my mom woke me up at 5:30, screaming at me to find something i didnt have!!! i found it! and it was in her bag, a place she didnt look (because she only looked one place!!!!!!) at least i can sleep now, but idek if i can do that because i feel awake now. im going to sob. FUVKKK I HAVE A HEADACHE AND SINUS PAIN NOW IM GOING TO CRY DUDE. and the fact that she walked up the stairs to scream at me (she never walks up the stairs)???? ooo. im so mad bro! like im going to wake up whenever i have my alarms set and im going to punch a wall because i cant sleep without getting interrupted. IM PISSED TF OFF NOW bevause i havent had adequate sleep since my last off day (a week ago) and i dont have a lot of sleep for tomorrow because i have to wake up at 6am for an appointment thats 2hrs away. sure, ill sleep in the car, but with my mom? she wont let it happen. and i dont have another off day untl thursday, and i cant sleep in for that one either becahse i have another goddamn appointment in the morning. like, is this what being an adult is? being harrassed by coworkers, never having enough sleep, never able to fall asleep.... it cant be cause those all haopened when i was a teenager too. stuck in that cycle, though, and i cant wait for that cycle to finally end.

bad things always tend to happen to me. is it because i bring bad energy? AHHHHHHH i just need to scream cry

i am going to try to sleep now. I've rambled on for way too long

11:17pm

been incredibly sad today. i think it was my lack of sleep, or maybe it was my mom yelling at me and waking me up. still, my heart feels so ... heavy. i cant help but feel bad for people who love me. if i was them, i would choose anyone else to love endlessly. im undeserving of it all, anyway. i dont feel happy tonight. i hope tomorrow's better. i dont know what changed and made me feel this way because when i woke up and went to work, everything was fine until half way through my shift. it didnt really effect me, but them saying "oh, fun's over.. [my name]'s in a bad mood again.. everyone get away" keeps playing in my mind. it didnt affect me then, so i dont know why i keep thinking about it

i just want to fit on my roof and look at the moon, but its been rising really early so i dont think ill be able to see it now. ill watch some livestreams from space of the earth/the moon instead. something to comfort me while listening to music. i havent been able to watch any videos all the way through recently.. havent even been able to watch those gaming streams i like. hopefully ill feel better before i go to sleep

[midnightmisadventures]

Ive had so many fun dreams lately but for some reason i’m coming to write about the scary ones

Um been having nightmares. Last night and today. And they feel really heavy, but important. And frankly i do hate them. Please no more nightmares. But maybe if i write about them i’ll prove to spirit that im listening and then they’ll stop 

First Dream: 

Last night i had a dream where the fam of 5 was traveling, driving road trip vibes probably to florida. We were all together packing the car and idk how but all of a sudden erikka was missing. And we knew immediately there was foul play. We were in a sketchy area ad there were cars going in and out and we were afraid she was kidknapped for trafficking. It was so anxiety inducing, and i tried to keep praying and have a positive attitude that she was strong, she would find a way out, she would show make it home. I kept hoping she would show up any minute. But as hours past i kept getting more worried that i’d never see her again, that something terrible happened. And i was crying and and already grieving. In this dreamverse apparently something similar had happened to dalvin a while back. And erikka used some sort of manifestation power to bring him home safely. So i felt like absolutely garbage that i couldnt do the same for her, i was beating myself up. I kept saying “im supposed to be good at this, i feel useless” 

Next Dream: 

This one was so so very odd. Basically we were at chip and it was the anniversary of this well known historical environmental event. And it happened near the west end fairgrounds or something. So there was a lot of hype and press in our area during this.... 100th anniversary or something like that. I don’t really remember, but there were 10 guys all brothers and they won a contest? or something? from someone in....ohio or some random state. Back in the early 1900s. Anyway, an almost catastrophic event was witnessed by a bunch of people. A huge asteroid hurdled towards earth and grazed the side of it (near west end fairgrounds) and chipped a piece of land. It was marvelous that only a few inches kept it from hitting earth directly and splitting the earth in half. Or doing dinosaur level damage or something else crazy. It couldve killed a ton of people or been an end to humanity. So whatever....a hundred years later or so, they were able to do a super techy demonstration and show what almost happened and what didnt happen through like a hologram projector and the whole town watched and it was really snowy outside and i wasnt wearing pants. It was just trippy to think about how something like that could happen at any moment and kill us. For some reason i made the comment “it always scared me that the fact that an asteroid hasnt hit earth with humans on it is completely by chance and hasnt happened yet which means odds are it WILL happen soon. But i always forget about THIS historic moment, which makes me feel safer in that something technically DID happen” 

Final Dream: 

Okay so again, at chip present day. And i wake up with a bunch of messages from people from high school saying to call....our class prez. Which was so odd, ive never had a personal relationship with him. But everyone was blowing up all socials and talking about something crazy that happened. His twin sister reached out to me and said to call him. Like PV social media was going bonkers!! So i was busy all day, it was always ET’s birthday maybe for a date reference? And the more i ignored it, the more people hit my line. Even claire, messaged me by the end of the day saying “call class prez he’s really not doing well” and i was like WOAH. Cause that means people wanted me to call him so bad that they had reached out to my friends who didnt even go to pv to get my attention. I told erikka “idk why they want me, is it because im good at saying calming words” and she said idk it seemed more specific like he wants to “apologize.” SO then im like what?? By time i call him its 1:03am. But he answered and apparently. A couple of kids from our grad class passed away and class prez was really emotional about it. I remember one being Austin H. And he was so sad and unstable that he made a comment online saying something along the lines of “this is worse than gilaine maxwell creating slave camps for black people” ???? Bro i have no idea. 

So class prez gets ALOT of flack for this comment. I mean its career ruining, he’s getting death threats. So maybe he wanted individual calls from black peers to hear their genuine opinion? So we’re on the phone and he’s profusely apologizing, saying what he said was unacceptable. He said “im sure youve heard my ghislane maxwell comment” i said no...havent got the chance. So he plays me a historic video about supposedly the “actual history” of these slave camps he was referencing. The video had this eerie 1900s black racist cartoon vibe that makes my blood curl. It was about these talented black people being condemmed and found guilty for things they didnt do. The evidence was so blatantly there and still everyone convicted them and sent them to be tortured and die at these camps. It was EXTREMELY unsetteling to watch and to be watching with class prez. Also in the dream, it felt inescabable and scary and for a little it felt like i was there. Like it was playing in my chip bedroom but i went top bunk and i could feel the sticks they were beating the black people with. It felt soooooo evil and sinister, and seriously idk what ancestors are communicating with me via dreams or what they want because this was DARK. So then class prez is asking for my take, and why it matters, and why its bad. And im saying he obvious stuff. The videos message was basically like “it didnt matter if black people were educated, doctors, laywers, scientists, hey were gonna slaughter and torture us anyway” so i didnt know if the vibe was like “be greatful that black people are allowed to have careers?? or get vengeance on white people....it was just so intense. 

So when the video was over and i got off the call, i was so uncomfortable and unsettled. Felt like i had waken up from a nightmare or finished a scary movie. So i desperately tried to turn all the lights back on but ofc it was a dream so everything was dim. Still didnt catch it though. I tried finding my parents for comfort. 

Awful right? No more nightmares 

[neowinestainedress]

hiii i'm back hehehe glad it made your day cuz you deserve it since you made my day too!! 🥰

my next goals are 1) a happy fic and 2) a short fic. this made me tear up, i’m so happy you can see how much i love writing and i hope the same.

OH NOOO i forgot to write this when i wrote so long previously but hldbdldjd I REALLY ENJOYED LONG FIC SO YEAA I'M ALWAYS EXCITED WHEN I SEE WC MORE THAN 10K, pleaseee i live for it!!! but yeaa its your goals who am i to stop you, just wanna say the wc doesnt actually bother me as a reader cuz i love it. and for the emotions i dont really mind cuz i love a good fic with a lot of emotions! So as long as youre happy and satisfied with your writing thats the best a reader like me could get 🧡

it’s not a want it’s a NEED at this point (also it got nothing to do with the story but lately he’s feeding my delusion a bit too much so yeah). i might’ve written the man of my dreams in this fic… just maybe. no but it’s true that we don’t know him truly but it’s already a blessing to living at the same time. i think i came up with a good compromise between real him and obviously made up character, idk how to explain but the mix between the hopeless romantic – or loser (affectionative) – and the tease is just so haechan.

YES YES OMG I GOT IT AND I'M ALSO GLAD YOU GOT WHAT I MEAN like yesss we didnt know him much cuz lets admit it even how much we think we know a little bit of donghyuck by how the media show him, still we couldnt see it as whole and you really wrote a mix of haechan + hyuck characteristics so well. HE IS FEEDING US WITH THE DELUSIONAL WITH THE AMOUNT OF IGLIVE HE DID AND HIS BUBBLE SELCA CUZ YESS HE BE SENDING DIFFERENT VIBE OF SELCA ON IG AND BUBBLE AND IDK IF I LOVE HIM OR HATE HIM FOR THAT BUT YES WHATEVER AS LONG AS ITS LEE HAECHAN (we are down bad atp) and i could say that ever since i stan him, it's a little hard for me to read other members' fics cuz yes i could picture the scenes on my mind but i couldnt really get the feels and its probably because i didnt really catch up with others characteristics as well (or maybe cuz it's clear who do we picture the ml is)

i was unsure about her backstory for so long, because initially she wasn’t supposed to have one (not this heavy at least) but then it came to me out of nowhere and i felt it was more fitting of a reasoning for the way she behaved (especially her obsession with rules) than some tough break-ups.

tbh, I cried when its near the time fl said about her trauma cuz yea i lost someone i love too before so i definitely understand why she's doing that and i appreciate that you really think a lot into it and settle down with this because yes its more natural and convincing for her behaviour to be like that and since you've decided to how to do with haechan's. love your brain and ideas 🥺🥺

i literally wrote about a man that will never exist in real life, how do i bring him to life??

honestly there's no way for it and WE CRY TOGETHER. Like yea maybe there is, but they're probably other people soulmates naurrrr this sounds so depressing but yea not that im someone who want a real love irl too 😭😭 (nah tbh im still clueless of myself, idk if it's just me being so into haechan that i could never see other men or notㅡ but i used to have a crush few months back and i decided to confess to him so that i can move on so i think i really have issue on this but yea lets move on)

it’s a mix of mark barely being with his head on earth (they way he always tries to set mc up with anybody every time they go out when she’s sulking because she wants Haechan sends me) and mc and haechan being good at keeping it a secret (always in a corner, touches under the table, going to a place they know none of their friends will ever go)

yeaaa thats what i have on my mind too, idk for some reasons Mark really nailed this kind of characters cuz yess i could see him as the damn good looking attractive man but thw cute side of him is just hldbffjflf he is cute being clueless like that and can be frustrating too. just wanna confirm it so i can maybe sleep well after knowing how it really goes and thanks too for reassuring me that the fl and haechan really get the happy ending even after the story ends hldhfldjdld (that actually reminds me of how i always wonder of one of my questions in mind about if the characters in the story really end like you know they really disappear from the 'world' right after we reach the ending/last page of the book. the same thing as the 'and they live happily ever after' like do they still living after the story until they die or what. okay enoughㅡ)

i guess the long one? did you want haechan and the mc to get back together but at the same time you wanted to slap him for what he did?

that should be me i think HAHAHA my memory sometimes betrayed me but i do note that i have this one thing being so into detail writing til i wrote such a long essay 😆😆 yeaaa i really feel i need to give you the feedback altho i was late and taking this as the chance i could finally write to you last time.

i know it’s all fictional and those characters don’t exist but i wouldn’t have made it end that way if i didn’t know he could be a better man and keep on growing up, so you can sleep at night knowing they’re all happy.

I live to dream about fictional character to keep going. I feel like I could only love fictional character so thank you very much for writing this kind of stories, i mean you know not all characters need to be perfectly perfect from the start til the end (ALTHO HITS DIFFERENT IS!!! AND WE CHEER FOR IT) but some stories of course need characters where they are growing to be the better of themselves cuz we human is supposed to do that too.

last year i had a really bad burn out and i still have no idea how i managed to write the stories i had planned back then (and in fact i didn’t write two of one series) so i decided to don’t start anything because then i get mad at me.like i use writing as escapism and when i start a story and can’t give it an ending it reflects on me more than it should, so i’ve promised myself to don’t put too much on the plate.

awhh let me give you a hug!! 🥺🥺 nevertheless you still did well and you did thought of writing it, so the thought is what matter and we discuss it here too and i get what you really wanna write but you know sometimes even if we want to write it that way but if we feel it wont turn out like we wanted, might as well just write it short and keep it like that for the better. Cuz i do love it when writer wrote details for filler but if the filler doesnt bring the reader to somewhere it'll make it boring too. Saying this from writer side of me tho now i put a pause and resort to just being a reader for the time being. (i kinda slow-down since 2020 due personal reason and i feel like i need to do something else, tho i do hope i gain my love back for writing like i used to. maybe its a good things too like i just read now and see how writer structure their ideas and plots so yea 😊)

i’m also happy you understood the characters development because some comments drove me insane and made me doubt everything. i simply thing this ending was a clear cut, you either liked jeno or haechan and it’s obviously if she didn’t end up with who you were rooting for, you would’ve ended up disappointed. but to me this story was so much more than #teamjeno or #teamhaechan so i’m happy with my characters anyway (even tho sour!haechan you will never be like hits different!haechan)

I'm always in for a developing character in a story mostly because i'm also learning how to write again too so thanks to you too!! and yess i do read some of the feedbacks and just sigh, tho of course we know not all readers has the same preferences and all, they can be disappointed or happy, we could never know it. and as a someone who is happy with the ending, all i can say maybe if they give extra and careful look at some small details or think from other perspectives they could get what the story you tried to write. I mean of course we can't force everyone to love all of our stories, but yeaa dont worry i get what you mean and that series is really good altho yes sour!haechan could never be hitsdifferent!haechan!!

no don’t feel bad at all, i’m the chilliest person and i just love discussing about my stories but i don’t get mad when it takes more time to reply, i’m a late replier too so i can’t get mad at others.

going to expose my sign/mbti side again (before i stop my reply here for now) but yes as an infj (and pisces moon) i couldn't help feeling that way like i know you're chill with it and im someone who usually reply late to others type too, i know it's just me who think that way but yea i can't help what other people think of my action. and i feel the need to shower you with so much appreciation and love so yes i just did that hehe 💗💗💗💗 and i love you back!!! 🌻🌻

hiii! no yeah i got what you meant dw. I love writing a lot but sometimes it would be good for me to keep it shorter (around 20k it’s perfect) but I’m glad a lot of you read my things even when they are so long, it means the world to me

YES YES OMG I GOT IT AND I'M ALSO GLAD YOU GOT WHAT I MEAN like yesss we didnt know him much cuz lets admit it even how much we think we know a little bit of donghyuck by how the media show him, still we couldnt see it as whole and you really wrote a mix of haechan + hyuck characteristics so well. HE IS FEEDING US WITH THE DELUSIONAL WITH THE AMOUNT OF IGLIVE HE DID AND HIS BUBBLE SELCA CUZ YESS HE BE SENDING DIFFERENT VIBE OF SELCA ON IG AND BUBBLE AND IDK IF I LOVE HIM OR HATE HIM FOR THAT BUT YES WHATEVER AS LONG AS ITS LEE HAECHAN (we are down bad atp) and i could say that ever since i stan him, it's a little hard for me to read other members' fics cuz yes i could picture the scenes on my mind but i couldnt really get the feels and its probably because i didnt really catch up with others characteristics as well (or maybe cuz it's clear who do we picture the ml is)

His selfies lately are a menace I HATE HIM HE KNOWS WHAT HE’S DOING unfortunately I’m down bad for other members too so I can read other fics (not that rn I have a lot of time to do that tbh) but yeah, he *pun coming* hits different.

tbh, I cried when its near the time fl said about her trauma cuz yea i lost someone i love too before so i definitely understand why she's doing that and i appreciate that you really think a lot into it and settle down with this because yes its more natural and convincing for her behaviour to be like that and since you've decided to how to do with haechan's. love your brain and ideas 🥺🥺

sometimes I feel like I put too much but building a lot around characters also helps me writing more easily, if I can vividly see the characters I can write them better.

honestly there's no way for it and WE CRY TOGETHER. Like yea maybe there is, but they're probably other people soulmates naurrrr this sounds so depressing but yea not that im someone who want a real love irl too 😭😭 (nah tbh im still clueless of myself, idk if it's just me being so into haechan that i could never see other men or notㅡ but i used to have a crush few months back and i decided to confess to him so that i can move on so i think i really have issue on this but yea lets move on)

my faith in men is honestly under ground so my hopes of finding a decent man are super low but I’ve got women so I’m fine (I say when my last two women crushes broke my heart)

yeaaa thats what i have on my mind too, idk for some reasons Mark really nailed this kind of characters cuz yess i could see him as the damn good looking attractive man but thw cute side of him is just hldbffjflf he is cute being clueless like that and can be frustrating too. just wanna confirm it so i can maybe sleep well after knowing how it really goes and thanks too for reassuring me that the fl and haechan really get the happy ending even after the story ends hldhfldjdld (that actually reminds me of how i always wonder of one of my questions in mind about if the characters in the story really end like you know they really disappear from the 'world' right after we reach the ending/last page of the book. the same thing as the 'and they live happily ever after' like do they still living after the story until they die or what. okay enoughㅡ)

mark’s cluelessly is my favorite part about him. I do the same, it sadden me so much to know I will never read about characters ever again, like all I have about them is what’s written in their stories and then ??? what comes after??? What will they do??? It happens with ff, books, movies, I wish some stories would never end

that should be me i think HAHAHA my memory sometimes betrayed me but i do note that i have this one thing being so into detail writing til i wrote such a long essay 😆😆 yeaaa i really feel i need to give you the feedback altho i was late and taking this as the chance i could finally write to you last time.

I mean you’re talking to someone that’s not able to keep anything short so I can’t tell you anything about the long comments hahah also I love these types of long feedback so they’re fine by me

I live to dream about fictional character to keep going. I feel like I could only love fictional character so thank you very much for writing this kind of stories, i mean you know not all characters need to be perfectly perfect from the start til the end (ALTHO HITS DIFFERENT IS!!! AND WE CHEER FOR IT) but some stories of course need characters where they are growing to be the better of themselves cuz we human is supposed to do that too.

No exactly like it’s fiction, nothing of this exists and I think people should be allowed to love CHARACTERS (made up, not real, ink on paper) even if they’re problematic or not perfect in every single way. Also extremely perfect characters are boring so… give me characters with flaws and depths and growth

awhh let me give you a hug!! 🥺🥺 nevertheless you still did well and you did thought of writing it, so the thought is what matter and we discuss it here too and i get what you really wanna write but you know sometimes even if we want to write it that way but if we feel it wont turn out like we wanted, might as well just write it short and keep it like that for the better. Cuz i do love it when writer wrote details for filler but if the filler doesnt bring the reader to somewhere it'll make it boring too. Saying this from writer side of me tho now i put a pause and resort to just being a reader for the time being. (i kinda slow-down since 2020 due personal reason and i feel like i need to do something else, tho i do hope i gain my love back for writing like i used to. maybe its a good things too like i just read now and see how writer structure their ideas and plots so yea 😊)

no yeah absolutely, with the jeno part I would have something to say for sure because there are some dynamics to explore but idk I’ll see if I ever feel like it. Also I agree because sometimes I get asked for sequels but there’s really nothing to say so I’m glad people would like to read more but I don’t think they get (if they never wrote) that plot and dynamics don’t come out of nowhere, also not everything needs a sequel. reading always helps to write so I really hope it brings your passion back, even if you have to take small steps, if it made you feel good I hope you can start again.

I'm always in for a developing character in a story mostly because i'm also learning how to write again too so thanks to you too!! and yess i do read some of the feedbacks and just sigh, tho of course we know not all readers has the same preferences and all, they can be disappointed or happy, we could never know it. and as a someone who is happy with the ending, all i can say maybe if they give extra and careful look at some small details or think from other perspectives they could get what the story you tried to write. I mean of course we can't force everyone to love all of our stories, but yeaa dont worry i get what you mean and that series is really good altho yes sour!haechan could never be hitsdifferent!haechan!!

THIS!!! and exactly not everyone can have the same preferences and that’s normal I only was sad for a few feedbacks because I genuinely couldn’t get their point (and it was about the fl not even about jeno or haechan) but at the end of the day I don’t go crazy over any of this, I’m here to talk about anything, positive and negative as long as people are polite, so if anyone wants to say why they didn’t like something I can offer my point of view as the writer, then I’m not a professional and I don’t get paid for this and I think people here tend to forget this too often (but not only for me, for every writer on this site) we don’t owe reader anything and even if I want to write something problematic all you have to do is skip it.

going to expose my sign/mbti side again (before i stop my reply here for now) but yes as an infj (and pisces moon) i couldn't help feeling that way like i know you're chill with it and im someone who usually reply late to others type too, i know it's just me who think that way but yea i can't help what other people think of my action. and i feel the need to shower you with so much appreciation and love so yes i just did that hehe 💗💗💗💗 and i love you back!!! 🌻🌻

INFX GANG LET’S GO I’m infp and pisces sun and I don’t usually like stereotypes but I perfectly fit into these lol. No I worry too much about what people think of my actions too but I also want people to know I’ll never judge them for anything, especially something so silly as a late reply. Thank you again for this talk, love you!!! 🌻