#there’s PLENTY more examples of this but i am running out of room in the tags

[aliaology]

hello! i love all your writing so far, and i was wondering if you could write for trevor zegras? just like, a bunch of fluff and being at the hughes lake house. if not, it’s fine!!

ofc ♡ just beware i dont know trevor as well as i know the hughes brothers so ill do my best!

also tysm for ur support like actually— i just started on tumblr so this makes me feel so good 😭🤍

DON’T GET CAUGHT

summary: reader and trevor are secretly dating and need to keep quiet!

pairings: trevor zegras x cousin hughes!fem!reader

warnings: SHORT AGAIN IM SORRY.

the thrill of hiding your relationship felt exciting but so terrifying. although your cousins, cole and alex weren’t the brightest, they weren’t stupid either. they could catch on easily if you or trevor slipped up.

thankfully, neither of you have, yet. you kept everything behind closed doors, as much as you could. but thankfully, you got plenty of time with him, alone.

around 10:30 pm, everyone would be sound asleep. except for you and trevor. you two would giggle as you snuck outside and to the docks. you’d sit at the edge, your side pressed far into his. your hands would be intertwined.

his thumb would rub the side of your hand gently, in a calming manner that made you feel safe. your head would fall onto his shoulder and both of your legs would be ankle deep into the water unless it was too cold.

you two would sit in silence, watching the world around you change. watching the stars light up the night sky. he would watch the little balls of light reflect in your eyes. you would watch the way the waves moved slightly. he would fall in love with you. you would hold onto him tighter, and fall in love with him.

in the mornings, you would be up by 5:00 am, before the rest. you took morning runs and would make breakfast for everyone, in silence. that was until trevor adapted to your schedule, so he could have more time with you. there were days he would stay by himself though, allowing you to have time to yourself because you never get those.

when it was midday, and the boys were out and about, he would steal small kisses from you when no one was looking or around. whether it be in the hallway when you two pass each other, before you go to the bathroom, in the kitchen when he’s the last one out. one time you two almost got caught because he decided to kiss you right with the boys in front of you.

quinn thought it was too quiet and turned around, thankfully you two were paying attention.

you’ve had many, many close calls.

example:

“trevor they’re right next door.” you quietly laughed. his smile sent you over the moon as he gazed down at you.

“oh come on— they think im in the bathroom, just let me kiss you” he said in a hushed voice.

you let out a laugh as his head ducked down and his lips met yours. your arms hung loosely around his neck.

you two kind of set yourself up for this. the door was wide open as you two kissed in the middle of it. “how long does it take to piss, dude?” jacks voice rang through the house, muffled by his door.

“ill check on him” quinns muffled groan followed, along with his footsteps.

you two immediately jumped apart, you rushed quietly to your bed, sitting down and grabbing your journal, making it look like you were writing but stopped to talk to trevor, who leaned against your doorframe.

quinn opened the door and saw trevor against your doorframe. “dude, what are you doing?” he questioned.

“talking to y/n… why?” trevor asked.

quinn gave him a weird look before slowly shrugging. “just wondering… you coming back in?”

trevor nodded and went back in the room.

all in all, you and trevor were not the stealthiest when it came to your relationship. lets hope it stays that way.

might do a part two where everyone finds out xx

[aismoker]

How to Bing?

Part 1: The basics

I received several questions about how I create the images I post. So, here are some of the answers. I am no expert and I have not a clue how the algorithms work. There are probably plenty of other ways to make images, but this is the way how I make them. If you have tips or tricks, share them below.

As I have stated before, I use the Image Creator of Bing, powered by DALL-E 3. It is "free", as in: you don't have to pay for it, but it probably collects tons of data, but let's not get into that. I have tried other creators, but at the moment, I think that Bing produces the highest quality images, with the smallest amounts of flaws, although it still happens quite often that too many arms or legs appear in the images. Of course, this field develops so quickly that by the time you read this, there can be thirty other, better creators out there. One of the cons of the creator is that it sometimes blocks your prompts to eagerly. As a rule, just stay away from full-body nudity, sex, celebrities, violence and weapons. In some cases you can work around it, for example, if you create a soldier, often a gun appears in the image. There are other image creators that allow that kind of stuff. Feel free to use those.

Below I explain the steps that I usually go through when I make an image. I put examples along with it. Those are just examples to highlight the point I am trying to make. It is not a process you have to follow step-by-step to create your own images, you can do that in your head.

STEP #1: Composition

Generally speaking, the first things you put in your prompt are usually considered to be the most important, so start with what the focus of the images should be. Do you want the focus to be on a person, than write that down first. Do you want a more overview-like image (for example of a large room, a field, etc.) then start with that.

As you can see below, I created several different images of a man in an office. The prompts that I used are below them.

"A man sits in an office"

"An office with a man sitting in it"

"Portrait of a man sitting in an office"

"A coffee cup in an office. A man sits behind it."

Do you see the difference between the first and second image? In the first, the focus is on the man, in the second more on the surrounding. In the third image, the focus is even more on the man. In the fourth image the focus is on something else and the man is just a background prop.

STEP #2: Specify

With such basic short prompts you usually get decent images, but there is a huge problem: You don't have any control on what the image looks like. In the example above, the men look completely different as do the offices in which they are sitting. If you let the prompts run again, you get completely different men and offices. It is therefore needed to specify your prompts. You can do that by changing the words in the prompt that you already have, or to add stuff.

STEP # 2.1: Change what you already have

By exchanging the words in your prompt, you can specify what you have. I have used the prompt above and have changed the word "man" into different occupations. The differences are striking.

"A general sits in his office."

"A bouncer sits in his office."

"A baker sits in his office."

"A farmer sits in his office."

I have also changed "an office" into "his office", just to make sure that the main figure remains a man. In the case of "general" and "bouncer" the chances that a woman appears are not so big, although it does occur. With occupations like farmer, baker, teacher, etc. the chances that you get a woman are bigger. This is because the generator works on the basis of prejudice, bias, stereotypes or whatever you want to call it. This is logical as the generator has been "fed" images of, for example, generals, who have been traditionally more often men than women. That is also the reason why for example in images of bakers a lot of breads, cookies and other pastries appear, simply because the generator has been taught that that is the essence of being a baker. You can see this as a problem, but it is what it is. Besides, you can always subvert expectations.

Just use your imagination and you might get surprised what works for you. There are, however, some occupations that you should try to avoid if you don't want your prompts to get blocked. For example, I tried "butcher" instead of "baker". In the first attempt I got the images below, but all later attempts got blocked. Based on the images I did get, I think that the generator basically equates "butcher" with "serial killer".

I didn't try words like "murderer", "psychopath" or "male prostitute", but I guess they are also blocked.

Some of the words I like to use to describe men are: "bouncer", "biker", "scally" and "security guard". This very often gives a masculine, bad boy vibe to the image.

STEP #2.2: Add stuff

Changing the things you have can change the images significantly, but with a short prompt like "A man sits in an office." you leave a lot of space for the generator to fill in the blanks. It is therefore important to fill in those blanks. It is, however, important to know, that you cannot control everything. First of all, you only have 380 characters to describe what you want to get. I found out that you can make longer descriptions with the chat feature, but I never used that. Secondly, the longer you make your descriptions, the harder it is for the generator to understand what you mean and it can mess things up. For example, if you describe multiple people seperately, it will happen that the features of one will be copied to the other one, or that they will morph into some creature. Especially if you want to create an image like 1.2 ("An office with a man sitting in it.") with multiple people in it, you just have to accept that the image will probably not turn out how you hoped it would be.

The easiest way to make the images more to your liking is to add specifications to the nouns. You can, for example add age of the people in your images and add more qualities:

"A 30 yo man sits in an office."

"A 60 yo man sits in an office."

"A sinister man sits in an office."

"A muscled man sits in an office."

"A 30 yo sinister man sits in an office."

"A 30 yo muscled man sits in an office"

Adjectives I like to use to describe people are: "muscled", "charismatic", "sinister", "brutal", "athletic", "brutish", "rough" and "rugged". Note, however, that some of these words tend to have some strange consequences. I noticed, for example, that "rough" tends to create men with wounds or scars on their faces, "rugged" gives the men often a fur collar and "muscled" and "athletic" very often leaves the men without shirt or sleeves. Not necessarily bad, but just keep it in mind.

You can add multiple adjectives after each other and it is quite fun to try strange or unlogical combinations, like "charismatic" and "brutal". The generator often comes up with inventive and quite good images! The system has its limits, however, so try to keep it simple. In my experience up to four specifications seem to work okay.

The same goes for the space in which the person is.

"A man sits in a dark office."

"A man sits in a bright office."

"A man sits in a bright smoke-filled office."

"A man sits in a creepy smoke-filled office."

Of course, you can also put specifications after the nouns. I usually use this to describe the spaces (like: "at night", "at dawn", "in a big city", etc.) For people, however, I have the feeling that it not always works.

The images you create with these methods are nice, but not exactly what we want. In order to get there, we have to add more stuff to specify it further. Things I put in here are usually descriptions of clothing, specific features of people and movements.

"A 30 yo man sits in an office. He smokes a cigarette."

"A 30 yo man sits in an office. He wears a shiny leather suit."

"A 30 yo man sits in an office. He talks on the phone."

"A 30 yo man sits in an office. He has shaved his head bald."

You can let your fantasy go loose here and you can add as much as fits in the prompt. Think, however, about what you put in this part and what you put in as adjective. For example, "a bald man... He has shaved his head bald." is double, so remove one of those. I have the feeling that "He has shaved his head bald." gives better results, so I would keep that and remove "bald", but this is all up to you. And if you have not enough space, try to put things in as adjectives instead of descriptions. Don't be afraid to put in this part also adjectives. Just play around with it. There are indefinite possibilities in indefinite combinations.

A few examples:

"A brutal 30 yo bouncer sits in a smoke-filled office at sunset. He wears a leather jacket. He has a black mohawk. He fills out a form. He smokes a cigarette."

"A charismatic 45 yo business man sits in a steampunk office. He wears a biker suit. He has polished his nails green. He pets a cat."

"A handsome brutal 30 yo man sits in an office. He wears a shiny black police uniform. He smokes a cigar. He stares at his phone. The phone glows red."

"A bald 23 yo scally lad sits in a futuristic high-tech office. He has a bushy blonde beard. He wears a shiny black tracksuit. He drinks a beer and smokes a cigarette."

What you should not do is to tell a story to the generator like "A man sits in his office. He is on the phone with his colleague, complaining about his boss, while he writes a report with graphs in it." This will usually confuse the generator. Keep the sentences short and describe what you want to see. The story behind it should be made in your head.

STEP 3: Add a style

One of the last things I add is a certain style. This is not necessary, but it can add a bit of finesse to the image. I either put it in at the end or in the beginning. I am still trying to figure out what works and what doesn't.

"Sepia photo. A 30 yo man sits in a n office."

"A 30 yo man sits in an office. The scene is sinister."

"A 30 yo man sits in an office. Manga style."

"A 30 yo man sits in an office. Low-angle perspective."

STEP 4: Be patient and practice makes perfect

One of the most important things to keep in mind while making AI-images is to be patient. You can have written the most fantastic prompt, but still the images can look like shit. Don't despair and try it again with the same prompt. If, after a few attempts it doesn't work, try to change a few words. Most of the images I have created are the result of multiple attempts and rewrites. Also, save you prompts in between. A prompt that gets blocked disappears and you will have to start your prompt from scratch.

After some practice you will start to get a feeling of what will get a prompt blocked and how you can circumvent this. For example, I noticed that "police man" has a higher block-ratio than "bouncer" or "man" + "He wears a police uniform". Also, if you want images of men getting towards a climax, use something that might look similar to that, for example "He has his eyes closed in pain".

That's all for now. I hope this helps some of you guys out in making some nice images. Don't forget to share them!

In the next part, I will get deeper into more complex images, with multiple people in them.

To go to part 2: click here

[run2min]

Hiii!I was wondering if you could do some Kyungmin from 8turn head cannons ,or what you think he'd be like as a bf!Take care!Make sure you drink lots of water and get plenty of rest!Tysm <3

my first ask!!! yes ofc i can do kyungmin headcannons (he's my bias wrecker too)

𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 534

i feel like he'd be so protective over you, like the minute one of the members looks at you he'd hold your hand or kiss your cheek

he'd take you on such cool dates, i have a thing for aquariums and i can soooooo see you and him going on a date to an aquarium, you'd probably start comparing all of the fish to your friends and eachother.

because he's debuted so recently, i feel liked he'd be stressed out a lot so he loves when he has alone time with you!

as we know, him, haemin, yungyu and seungheon all share a dorm room so i can see you and him cuddling in bed, talking about your day, enjoying the alone time together, before yungyu runs in telling you both about the dance him and yoonsung leant together (alone time with kyungmin is short but sweet!)

as for the other members, i can see them being really accepting of your relationship, treating you with as much love as they do eachother!

i can imagine him lying on his stomach, with you sitting on his back giving him a massage when he's stressed/ tired with work.

can 100% see him calling you "baby" and "sweetheart"

Whenever i think of Kyungmin's voice, i think of a sleepy morning voice (no reason i just do); and i can just imagine him waking up in the middle of the night to you tossing and turning in your sleep, he'd prop himself onto his elbows and reach out to lightly grab your arm, releasing a grumbled "baby, are you okay?", you'd wake up realising you'd had a nightmare, "it's okay," you'd reply, "go back to sleep,". He'd lay back down and fish his arm around your waist, pulling you into him and start giving you half-a-sleep butterfly kisses across the back of your neck.

On one hand i can see a relationship with kyungmin being really playful and unserious, but i can also see him being serious when he needs to be. For example, when he meets your parents, he'd be super nervous, which is a side you rarely see. He'd spend the whole night praising you to the heavens and ever so often whispering things into your ear like, "does she like me?" and "was that joke actually funny, or did your dad laugh because it was awkward?". He'd be so obviously self-conscious to the point were you'd have to pull him aside and tell him that there was nothing to worry about and to calm down.

At other times though he'd be so unserious, if you went to high school together, i can imagine you and him skipping class to sit and mess around on the roof, but if you got caught he would just laugh the whole time you were being told off, causing you to both be punished even more, if you were really mad at him for doing this (but lets be real, who could stay mad at his face?), i can see him turning to you and saying "god sweetheart i'm sorry.......I really am", he'd be saying this while still doubled over laughing at the situation you were both in.

Hiiiiiiiii! thank you so so so much for requesting, pls pls pls request more! it motivates me! i hope you like these headcannons for our lovely Kyungmin!!!!!! I hope you have a lovely rest of your day!

[echoedcrosshairs]

The Portrait ~ Boba x F Reader

Plot: You, a daughter of a former bounty captured by Boba Fett, are asked to paint a portrait of the new Daimyo although you despise him you can't help notice the growing tension. 🖤Enemies to Lovers 🖤

Warnings: second person narration, no y/n, suggestive sexual content, age gap (reader is mid-twenties, Boba is 41 canonically), lots of petnames (Little one & Old Man), praise kink, one dude being a creep but nothing bad happens; protective Boba moment~> violence, Enemies to lover & sort of slow burn and eventual smut. This is a build up chapter.

Word Count: 6.7k

Masterlist Part Two

🔞no minors allowed🔞

Yes I know I need to go through all of my stories because small typos.

Boba sat in a darkest corner booth of the cantina waiting for his prospect to arrive but something was bugging him about her name it sounded familiar but he couldn’t place where he’d heard it. He had arrived early to avoid being noticed by the crowds who came in during rush hour as Daimyo every knew his face and who he was but he wasn’t in the mood to be bowed at. He had his shawl covering his armor and his helmet tucked in beside him, knowing it’s shine would make him stand out. He brought his drink to his lips letting his eyes wandered to one of the dancers, although she was gorgeous but not gorgeous enough to distracted him with her curves and elegance to notice the prospect walking over. He blinked admiring the features in your face and the way your hips swayed as you walked towards him. He knew the confidence of female hunter when he saw it, alluring yet on the prowl. He let his eyes travel along the entire noting all of the empty concealed pockets.

"Do you two need a minute?" you laughed sitting down looking between him and the dancer, "I would hate to come between a hunter and his prey. She is rather pretty"

"I admire. Nothing more," he said curtly not liking the fact you noticed what he tried to hide, "I am retired," he added, “and to old to be chasing such beautiful creatures.”

"Once a hunter always a hunter. All you traded was one type of bounty for another just with less stakes but that's semantics," you said dismissing it.

Boba studied you carefully curious to what would compel you to so bold and brazen with him, "I take it you are not found of how I run this town?" he asked simply not letting any emotion or interest pace his course rough.

"No your rule is not one with an iron fist nor disappearing villagers in the dead of night or making examples out of petty things. I just do not care for you," you said pulling out your dust covered sketch book flipping the page of him taking away your father and your father's imprisonment in stone, "Getting to the subject. All supplies must be paid for up front, the entire can change once I started however you’re still wearing the same thing so I don’t think that matters and point me in the direction of the nearest lodging. I can begin as soon as the supplies arrive," you said closing the sketch book and returning it to your bag. Your eyes caught swift movement of hands of the person bringing both of you drinks, quickly pulling out the blaster out of your art bag dispatching one fatal shot you caught the tray with the drinks and dumped them both into a flower vase watching them quickly wilt. That’s what I thought, I need this try again later. You sat back down putting the blaster away, "What?" said noticing him staring at you.

"You loathe me yet saved my life, interesting" he said studying the expression on your face, "with such tenacity and efficiency."

"I may have talents outside of painting. I would hate to lose such an important commission before it was complete."

"Indeed," he said finally blinking looking at the corpse being dragged away, "stay at the palace, plenty of food and rooms to choose from," he offered.

"I'll take whatever room is furtherest from you," you grinned pulled the pad with the out the list of supplies and upgrades handing it to him. His leather glove brushing against your hand taking it, it sent a cold shiver up your arm like you just touch death.

"Consider it yours, I'll send someone to pick up all of these premiums," he said in attempt to ignore the fact brushing up against your finger set a jolt of something down him. Fear? Anticipation? She's a daughter of a former bounty and I just invited danger into my house. He stuck out the pad, Fennec taking it from whatever spot she was hiding.

"I should have most of these by sunrise, one or two might take a few extra hours," she said nodding walking off with the pad.

"I know my way to the palace," you said standing up eyeing the women he was looking at earlier, "Enjoy yourself for a change," you let out a small harsh laugh, "Try not to get killed until the commission is completed."

You walked away pretending not to be in a hurry about your heart was racing and your hands were clammy just being around him. He was a dangerous man with a temper for disintegration and being ruthless with how audacious and brash you were talking to him wondered if he had the mind to disintegrate you. What was I thinking? He's a client at this moment, nothing more. Your mind wandered back to that night when he took your father and showed him off to you in carbonite. Your fist balled but you kept walking, you had half the mind just to get off this sand ball but the other half wanted the money and the recognition for something other than the fine marksman the ire had turn you into too. Now he was an aging man, ‘retired’ and you didn't know if it would be worth it if he wasn’t in the game. Yet the muscles in his arms and the coldness in his face suggested he was still ever bit the predator... one who had a disgustingly charming gravel voice and it set a shiver down your spine.

"Are you sure this isn't a conflict of interest, little one?" You heard Boba's voice emerge next to you.

"Being in the same persec as you is a conflict of interest but this is business as you well understand," you couldn't help but notice the annoyance seeping out over his company, although the sound of his voice was better then silence. You didn't bother look at him as you kept walking, "Also don't call me that, I'm not little nor a child," you added.

"Why take the commission?" He asked finally letting his curiosity get the best of him.

"It's you I have to thank for my talents whether it's through a paintbrush or a blaster." you said harshly still not bothering to look at him.

"You could just take the money and go-"

"We both know there's no honor in that, although I don’t think I would ever consider you honorable," your tempter starting getting the best of you, you finally stopped and stared at the T visor helmet forever engrained into your memory, "I am here because I have to prove to myself you are nothing then a man to not some assassin droid in the shadows without a thought or care."

You watched him stand still for a moment before putting his hands clasp behind his back, "You speak your mind without thought of the repercussions or hesitation, I respect that," he said starting to walk again, "I even admire it."

Your lip twitched but you followed after him in silence. You kept nonchalantly wiping your hands on your pants, feeling like an angry fool living in the past but you liked the praise from him sending goose bumps down you.!What the hell is wrong with me? It was a silent trek to the palace after that, thankful you didn't continue making a fool of yourself publicly speaking to him like that in view of those still up at this hour. The doors of the palace swung up, you walked in not bothering to wait for an invitation which was custom on Tatooine.

"Still want the furthest room or do you want to face that fear too," you could hear the smirk in his voice.

"Just point me to an available room and show me the location."

Boba lead you to a long hall way more adorned with fineries then the others. He pointed to the door on the left, "Yours," he pointed to the door on the right, "Mine. This way," he said turning back heading towards the throne room.

You scowled following after him realizing where he was taking you, "Of course it's the throne, how pretentious," you mumbled sarcastically taking out the sketch pad.

"Do you have a better idea?" Boba said stopping mid step turning to you, "you are the artist after all, where would you choose in my position."

"Each previous Daimyo has had his done on the throne using it as display of power and fear. If I wanted to prove my rule was different, I would do mine somewhere to show who I am underneath."

He nodded, "Have you ever seen the Tusken huts?"

You were taken back by the question, "Not up close, no."

"Wish to take the Rancor for a run or a speeder?" he asked.

"Rancor," you said stepping up to his obvious challenge to test your nerves further, "It's been a while since I've been on one."

"Let's see if he's awake. So you've ridden one before?" He asked calmly but intrigued.

"Once or twice," you said opting to give the least amount of information knowing he was digging.

Boba smiled knowing it could not be seen, "The riding boots your wearing covered with your pants suggest other wise," he said done playing coy that he didn't notice the little things, "one of your many talents I assume?"

"Perhaps," you trying to keep the irritation out of your voice glancing down at your foot wear that you didn't bother to change when you were done, "or perhaps I wear them because their comfortable and made to take a beating. Perfect for function, comfort and a sleek appearance."

"I'm sure they are, little one," he chuckled watching your face force smoothness on it. He couldn't deny he was interested in you in more ways then one, you were beautiful, complexed and smart but perhaps just as dangerous and unpredictable as he was at that age regretting putting your room so close to his if you had the urge in the dead of the night to unleash vengeance upon him, "How about a bargain?" he asked.

"What are you proposing?" you asked crossing your arms following him into the throne room looking down into the pit.

"Every day you get to ask me one personal question until the portrait is completed."

"What do you get out of it?" You asked because it sounded like you were getting the better end of the deal.

"Hopefully not feed to my rancor in the middle of the night," he said with laugh, the sound made you blink. It was warm and kind, rough like his voice but it reminded you of a shot of whiskey after a long day. He watched your face falter for a second after his laughter, raising an eyebrow.

"Did you enjoy rubbing my fathers fate in my face?" You said boldly, looking down at the sleeping rancor.

"No however I hoped it would prevent you from going down the same path."

"What path would that be?" You asked tartly looking back up at him feeling his eyes linger on you.

"One without the need to follow in his shoes"

You studied him as he studied you, "Funny," you mused.

"Indeed," Boba said realizing it was what set you on this path. He lightly tapping the bars to see if the Rancor would wake but it's soft snores he was out for the evening, "A speeder it is."

"Did you ever find him?" He ask heading towards the main doors.

"What was left of him to find."

"I'm sorry."

Those two words hit a nerve but also shocked you. Your mouth fell agape but you shut it not knowing what to say to the statement, the man who turned your life on it's head... apologizing? You followed him outside to the one speeder realizing you were going to have to share. You wandered if you both were thinking the same thing, how easy it would be to toss each other off.

"I'll ride in the front," he said giving you the upper hand waiting to see what you would do.

"I'm personally holding you accountable if I get hurt due to your driving, old man," you jested trying to hide the anxiousness of climbing on behind him having to hold his waist.

"Then you better hold on, little one. I'm not that old."

"Are you sure about-" you shut your mouth holding him tighter as he took off full speed towards the Dune Sea. You felt the chiseled muscle under his clothing, red subconsciously warmth spreading across your face. It made you sick that you had a reaction to him, the lingering smell of leather, blaster smoke and sweat didn't help. You tighten your jaw reminding yourself of the monster you were clinging too as he enjoyed riding the waves of the sand.

"Having fun?" He chuckled feeling your cheek burning into his back and your arms tighten around him as he took another bigger sand dune. It took a lot of self restraint not to move his hand to yours and tease you but knew you’d probably shoot him if he did.

"Extremely," you said sarcastically thanking the maker when he stopped so you could let go and hop off.

Boba watched you quickly take out your pad to engulfed in your work to notice the approaching Tusken's. The Tusken's recognized him, signing his name. He nodded to them in greeting and preceded to explain why they were out this late, that he would send them food as payment for the disturbance.

"They want to see," Boba said pointing at them.

His voice pulled you out of the composition of art to notice the raiders standing next to him. You gulped, you were not fan of the Tusken's for their violent nature towards outsiders and it didn’t help that the Daimyo was very comfortable around them. You carefully walked towards them showing them the sketch of the hut. They made a noise and you looked to Boba raising an eyebrow.

"Their impressed."

"Thank you," you said nodding your head, they handed you the pad back allowing you to walk back to the spot and continued your art.

"Tribe?" the Tusken signed looking between the two of you

"No, Business."

The Tusken nodded signal for him and his companions to leave. Boba walked over looking of your shoulder watching the hunt come together with the rough sketch of the Tusken in the foreground.

"Done?" He asked watching you look at the pad then up then back down.

"Yes."

"Let's get back to the palace, it's getting late and creatures should be waking up," he said climbing back into the speeder feeing your arms go around his waist again but this time he didn't feel your hands as sweaty against him.

When you both arrived at the palace, Fennec was waiting different sizes canvas. Boba picked a medium sized one, modest yet large enough to be noticed. Fennec kept her eyes on you the whole time.

"Do you want me to have guards outside?" she whispered wondering if you could be trusted.

"Just one discreetly at the top of the hall if it put your mind at ease."

She gave a small nod, "What you think of her?" she asked quietly watching you pull out your sketch pad looking over your work.

Boba just slightly turned his head not to make it obvious, "One of a kind."

Fennec rolled her eyes, "Friend or foe?" she corrected.

"Both," he admitted, "Good Night," he said to Fennec raising his voice back up from a whisper.

You cocked your head to see him heading back inside, you followed after him sketching out a simple speedy portrait of his face. You caught up to him and knocked on his helmet, he turned catching your wrist pulling it away.

"Helmet off," you said pulling your wrist back.

"So bossy, little one."

"So deaf, take it off old man," you said bringing your pencil back to the pad waiting,

He took it off, you examined the lines in his face quickly sketching them out. You were to distracted with the lines to notice his brown eyes boring into you. You were raptured in artist inspiration staring at him, your hands moving seamlessly across the paper noting every healed scar and various shades of brown to gold in his eyes. You finally looked down red creeping back into your face as you sketched his shoulders and the top of his armor.

He looked down at the paper stunned, "May I?" he asked holding out his hand. You stared at what was probably your best rough sketch but handed it to him. "It's absolutely marvelous," he said examining it closing looking at ever scar and remembering the cause to each one, "Your marvelous," he unintentionally whispered.

"I know," you said grabbing the sketch back and walking towards the hall with the bedrooms, flushed and angry. You noticed the bags that you tucked away at the Cantina you were going to go back to retrieve were sitting the end of the bed waiting. You groaned tossing your art bag on the bed and setting the pad on a big wooden ornate vanity. You unpacked the essential clothing you needed and various toiletries. Your head was swimming and knew you couldn't sleep, you grabbed your toilets stepping into the hall. Your face flicked up when you heard footsteps, a single guard walking a catwalk above.

"Where's the bathroom?" You asked watching him walk to the end of the hall and point at a door. He spoke a language you didn't understand, "Thank you! I think,” you called.

You opened the door, staring at Boba in a towel around his waist water still trickling down his pecs and abs. You quickly pulled the door shut, "That didn't just happen."

Your hand quickly shot up to your eyes when you heard the door immediately open "I'm sorry he doesn't speak basic," you said trying to defend yourself.

"Unfortunately it did. Dank Farrik! Next time I'm going to shoot you in the knee cap! I could have still been in the crinking shower!" He called up the guard who was laughing suddenly stilled. He noticed your hand over your eyes, "I'm not that bad to look at," he laughed, "I was just leaving," he said stepping around you, "I'll have them come in and fix the other one tomorrow promptly."

You uncovered your eyes for a moment watching his muscular back as he headed towards his room before quickly getting into the bathroom and shutting the door realizing there wasn't a lock on it. I seriously can't believe that happened. You turned the water up to match how hot your face was. You discarded your clothing, neatly putting them on the what looked to be hand carved precious stone counter. You ran your hand across it, still cool. Maker that had to cost which ever Daimyo a fortune. You shook your head and stepped into the shower hoping the heat would wash away the embarrassment. After spending a fair amount of time scolding yourself clearing your head you stepped out and noticed a couple of credits with a note on your clothing.

"It didn't happen -Fett."

You stared at the forty thousand credits your mouth fell open. I need the money but no way I can accept this much, I'll just slip part of it into his room or something. You quickly got dressed and peaked your head out the door to see if he was there, you breathed out in relief. You groaned the moment you got to your room noticing the small fruit assortment on your bed. I don't know if I'm more embarrassed or he is. You moved the fruit to the vanity and crawled into bed, you laid awake into the night before finally prying yourself up deciding fresh air might help you get situated with your temporary reality. You tucked your blaster in your waist band and found your way to a balcony overlooking the city.

"You too?" you heard Boba's voice behind you.

"Yeah. Are any of the cantinas still open this late?"

"One, you want to go?" he asked.

"I need a drink... or five if I'm going to be sleeping in the room across from you," you admitted.

"Likewise."

Both of you quietly walked into your rooms and changed. You dawned a form fitting dress with a side holster and boots with hidden knife pockets. You opened the door and found him waiting with holding his helmet.

He did his best to keep a straight face over the entire, "Expecting company?" He said pointy looking at the blaster as an excuse to look at your figure before looking back up at you.

"Always except the unexpected, that's how you stay alive in this line a work," you said as you started walking.

"Which is our problem," he said following after you.

"Another bargain perhaps?"

"You don't trust me and I don't trust you, I could simply move into lodging like I wanted too or we could drag the other bed into the others room so we can at least hear it coming," your throat dried up, “because I can’t think of a reason why I would want to trust you. You can only out run your past so long before it catches up.”

"What ever your comfort with, little one-" Boba stopped looking at your dress and then speedier.

"Dank Farrik," you mumbled motioning him to get on, hiking up your dress an indecent amount throwing your leg over it, "Why can't they just make flattering dresses with pants?" mumbled uncomfortably exposed to him.

"You now have plenty enough to get some tailored to your design," he suggested.

"I can't accept all of them for something so little, not even for this predicament," you said, "Got a problem or something that my skills can be used for?"

"I'm sure I can think of something."

He let you get off the speeder first to adjust your dress before getting off himself. You both kept each other arms lengths apart. Heat rose to your face thinking about how close his back had been between your legs. You did not and would not like this man. Eyes on the prize, finish this commission and get the creds then get hell away from this monster. No Boba Fett is a man, this commission is to prove that. He's not the boogie man, at least not any more.

He opened a door letting you go in first, the cantina nearly empty except for a few stragglers. He watched them eye you then back at him with a nod of respect. You walked up to the bar hoping he wasn't going to follow you. You noticed him hovering the door and you smirked.

You slide in the stool seat, "Whiskey, double," you told the bar droid, who dropped a shot glass in front of you and poured it. You slammed it back and tapped for another.

"I'd hate to see you on a bad day," Boba laughed joining her after eyeing everyone again to see if any one was going to make a move. Given most of the men in here were older then him he was pretty confident that no one going to given she also came in here with the Daimyo.

"This?" You said lifting the third shot, "is barely the appetizer for today."

"The same, sir?" The droid asked him.

"Yes."

Both of you sat in silence, while Boba caught up on the shots. He watched you down a couple more, the tipsiness finally started to show. The warm glow of alcohol spread across your face, wondering if you always looked just as a beautiful regardless.

"Might want to slow down, little one," he said eyeing her twitch trying to focus, "You don't look like it would be a fair fight." He watched her pull out a blaster and bull-eye a painting on the wall. He tossed some credits to the droid as an apology, "How did you get so good?" He asked wondering if the circumstances were different he if he could convince you to stay.

"Practicing praying one day I would get a chance to kill you and everyone else associated with my father," you admitted, "I looked for you in every shadow praying and our paths would cross.. then you fell into the Sarlacc a few orbitals ago. I realized if I could not kill you... I could kill the idea of you and prove you don't have to have Fett running in your veins to be good." You felt the few horrified gawking stares at the disrespect and contempt laced words coming out of your mouth. The whiskey had loosened your lips a little further then you intended, "That that counts as your one personal question of the day."

"I do also get one personal question?" He asked taking his last shot knowing he was going to have to drive both of you back.

"It's only fair," you said sliding the shot glass back to the droid, "done." You said cutting yourself off knowing your mouth was only going to get worse. "I may have had to many." You admitted.

You stared into Boba's eyes, counting the shades but the slight double vision made it difficult, "five or six" you muttered pulling your eyes away, "color shades in your eyes. Can't tell right now."

"You're drunk," he laughed, "let's go home, little one."

"Stop calling me that, old man."

Boba scooped you up and put you over his arm like a nap sack, "That's enough out of you." He tried setting you down realizing you were asleep. He carefully set you in his lap holding you with a vice grip as he drove one handed back to the palace. He saw Fennec doing her patrol and shook his head carrying you inside and setting you on his bed. He looked at you debating if he wanted to have Fennec come in and change you but doubted she'd be there right when you woke up to explain. He carefully pulled off the blaster and set it besides you. He grabbed a bantha hide and curled up on his armoire couch, looking at you more time wondering the type of person you were under all of that hurt.

You felt the sun shining in your eyes, Wait my room is opposite of the sun, you took in your surroundings the various artwork on the walls and target practice posters. Fett’s room? You looked over and saw the closet still open with several flight suits. Your head was pounding but you got up feeling for your blaster finding it laying next to you. At least I’m still in my dress. You scurried back to your room munching down some of the fruit arrangement and black melon which helped. You opted for pants discarding all of the dresses back into your bags, Never again. You tapped on the refresher door when there was no reply you opened the door and quickly did your business. Leaving the refresher you found Fennec standing outside your bedroom door.

“Good morning,” you offered opening the door letting her in.

“All of the supplies are in a work room for you, along with food, one hall over with the blue door.”

“Thank you,” you said still trying to dry your hair, “You guys wouldn’t happen to have a shooting range or something?” You asked noticing the rifle slung on her back.

“Two halls over down the stairs behind the orange door.”

“Thank you again,” you said putting the towel around your shoulders.

“Anything else?” she asked.

“No. I don’t know why either of you would need me for anything but if I’m not in this room or the work room, you’ll probably find me in the range.”

She nodded quietly backing out of the room, Friend or Foe? rung through her head. The exchange had been minimal but she didn’t see a gundark waiting to strike which alarmed her further. I’m a good judge of character, but I still can’t answer that question.

Fennec found Boba sitting on the throne, “How was your patrol?”

“A couple hooligans needed a stern talking too, that’s all.”

“She’s awake. She’s been informed the supplies have arrived and where her work room is, inquiring if we hand a range and I told her where to find it.”

“Good.”

“Is something on your mind Boba?” Fennec said noticing the short answers.

“Thinking about something she said. Wondering if my past has caught to me and if this is my undoing.”

“I can get more guards-”

“That won’t stop someone on our level. She no longer seems to want revenge, old man,” he said shaking his head “I want to know what she really wants with the commission.”

“Have you tried asking?” she suggested half heartedly.

“No but that would be my personal question of the day,” he muttered getting up to head to the work room, “summon me when our guest arrive.”

Fennec arched an eyebrow but nodded. You had various sketch pads out using them to sketch quick ideas how the portrait should look using various compositions with shadow and foreground and background ideas along with one or two the rancor was in too.

“Come see what you think” you asked hearing the door open, you looked back to see you were correct that it was him.

“That one.”

“Consider it yours.” You smirked throwing the sentence back at him, tearing the other ones out and set them to the side to dispose of later, “Is there something I can help you with?” you noticing him not leaving.

“What do you have so much riding on this commission?” He asked.

“Pride.”

“That isn’t much an answer.”

“Does it count as your personal question of the day?”

“No.”

“Than that’s the answer you’re going to have to live with,” you said eying him taking a seat.

You don’t know how long it had been until Fennec stuck her head in, “Daiymo, they have arrived.”

Boba excused himself to leave you to your art. The next few days where like that. Quiet. Every day his chair got a little closer until he was sitting next to you. Time to time he would stop to ask you questions about art, your favorite things to draw and other various things about you biding time for you to ask him question. It was a nice little routine as much as you despised him it became to comfortable. You eventually took to sleeping during day and working on the piece during the night as an excuse not to have to see him. You missed the company but every morning Fennec joined you at the range. It was small talk mostly but it helped dull the loneliness. Fennec left earlier this morning to go take care of an errand, leaving you alone in this big palace. Given some of the guards didn’t speak beside your only reprieve was the animal in the pit. You found your way to the Rancor kneeling before it, offering it a large slab of meat staying in routine of the past couple days. You smiled as the Rancor finally accepted your status as below him.

“Where is she? She’s not in her room or painting,” you heard Boba say concerned, stifling your laughter.

“She hasn’t left the palace-” Fennec said looking down hearing you.

“Someone’s losing their touch, old man. You know I ride yet you didn’t look down?” You huffed disappointment, finally getting to scratch the Rancor’s cheek, “I don’t recommend putting leash on me however, I bite.”

“I can’t even pet him,” Fennec said staring, “and I live here,” she muttered.

“Rancor respond to a social hierarchy and as I have no interest in staying, I made sure he knew he was the boss of me. Unlike me, Fennec you scream predator which is why he doesn’t respond to you. You have to be both hunter and prey,” you said standing up and wiping the dirt off your butt, “being a one sided blade only gets you so far, it’s those who are two that survive.”

Boba looked at you noticing how seamless the Mandalorian philosophy rolled off your tongue with such an easy explanation. Boba eyes trailed after you pinning. He was use to every woman throwing themselves at him having his selection of whatever fascinated him that evening. Even as Daimyo women fanned over his power and wealth having to let down several mothers trying to sell off their daughters to him.

“Well, I got my painting in for the evening so I had to wait for that to dry. I’m going to go the Cantina before going to bed,” you stared at the paint you missed on your foreheads and elbows, “after I apparently shower. Again,” you groaned walking off grumbling about paint and how it always ends up in weird places.

“You like her don’t you?” Fennec asked smiling watching his eyes trail after her, “Old man,” she said wiggling her eyebrows, “You’ve killed people for less.”

“She… reminds me of another time. I think I’ll accompany her discreetly. No need to follow.”

You shower daring to wear a flowing dresses with two discreet slide slits that overlapped to hide the thigh holsters, “At least I can ride a speeder in this.” You found Boba standing outside the door waiting. His molten gazing temporarily holding you in place, “I figured I’d give you a ride.”

“I am quite capable of getting there on my own,” you said inserting your independence staring back at him.

“You are… quiet the capable woman,” he said noting the heighten chemistry today, “but I need the speeder today.”

You looked at this features feeling sick about how in depth you studied every scar, crease, shape of his nose and the depths of his skin, “Fine, let’s go,” you said looking away first, “but I’m driving, can’t risk crashing in this dress,” you said doing the best to ignore the tension that has been slowly building since you met him and the playful banter he allowed you to get away with. Just awhile longer.

He waved his arm forward, “Lead the way.”

“You haven’t asked your question today,” you asked glancing him.

“I’m sure it will come to me before you go to bed. You haven’t either.”

“I’ll let you know when I have one,” you said tossing your legs over the speeder realizing this was the worse idea you ever had but you didn’t want to have to explain changing your mind. You felt him climb on, you took a quick silent intake of air when you felt his cod piece nuzzled up to your ass. He gently wrapped his arms around you placing each hand on your hip. You bit your lip and turned on the speeder taking it near full speed to the bustling cantina. Boba was like the sun of Tatooine pressing against your back and his gloves pressing you where felt like heaven wishing you could take them for your self. Getting off the speedier for a split second you could feel the cod piece rub against your ass. I need some company because that isn’t happening.

“Take this,” he said tossing you a device, “Call me when your ready to get picked up,” although I don’t intend to let you be here alone. Boba took the speeder around giving it the appearance that he left before letting himself inside through the side door. His eyes spotting you at the counter with a shot in hand. You took himself to an empty booth a distance away tucking away his helmet and covering his armor to blend in. The droid brought him over a drink when he saw a man slide into the stool next to you. Boba blinked because the man was about his age. Anger starting boiling over when he saw him put hand on your leg watching you light up and smile at him.

“What is a goddess like you doing in a temple like this at this hour?” the man asked.

You smiled at the comment, “Hopefully enjoying some company for a bit,” you dared, watching him put his hand on your leg.

“I don’t mind keeping you company,” he said ordering to drinks.

He’s no Boba Fett, but he’s still cute to look at. You mentally scolded yourself for thinking such thing. Both of you chatted the conversation coming easy, there was no playing coy or calculated responses it made you miss having company because Fennec and Boba weren’t quiet conversationalist. You felt eyes at the back of your neck, you scowled for a second realizing it was probably Fennec keeping an eye on you or someone under here.

“What is it?” He asked concerned.

“Oh it’s nothing, I lost my train of thought.”

Boba watched every action his jaw setting tighter and tighter. He watched as the man leaned in kissed her. Boba’s gripping on the shot glass caused it to break. Your head turned again and you saw broken glass but not the person sitting in the shadows. Just a coincidence. Right as you started to lean back in you saw him pulling his hand away from your drink and a whipcord shoot out dragging him to the dark booth.

“Bantha Fodder,” you heard the growl from a familiar gravel sounding man, watching him step out in the shadows.

“Caraya’s Soul Fett! For kriff’s sake,” your blood ran cold for a moment staring at the helmet the man wired on the ground before taking out the blaster and shooting the man, “I get it he was going to drug me, but did you really have to stalk me? I could have handled it on my way,” you said putting the blaster away and getting in his face. You stuck your finger on his chest and gave him a small push, “I don’t need to be babysat let alone by you of all people.”

Boba looked down shot him again watching him disintegrate into dust, “You were saying?”

“I guess we’re even now,” you huffed pulling your finger off him watching retract the wire and putting his arms in front him. “I’m going to a different cantina, this time don’t follow me.”

You tossed a couple creds down on the table and leaving hearing his foot steps behind you and the heat from his gaze boring into the back of your back. You whirled around to find him standing there with his hands still in front him.

“I said don’t follow me,” you watched him talk a few steps towards you standing face to face, face to helmet.

“I am the Daimyo, I go where I want.”

“That is exactly why I don’t want you here! No one will talk to me or even look at me when your around. You know what it’s like to sit in silence alone for hours! I hate it.”

“Why don’t you talk to me?” he taking off his helmet, stepping forward pinning you in place with his gaze.

You saw the dilation in his eyes and his uneven breathing, “That’s why.” Feeling heat rush through you and your legs stared feeling like jello under his gaze. You could felt the heat go to your head, your mind emptying but conflicted if you want to kiss him or kiss him your knuckles. You knew your eyes had the same hazy expression thinking about when you found him in the towel, the water and muscle. You weakly stepped back ripping your eyes off of him, dizzily turning around trying to your legs under you. “This is business,” you said finally getting them moving, “Get a concubine or something,” you snipped, “isn’t that what Daimyo’s do.”

“I don’t want one” you heard him whisper.

“I don’t want you too either,” you gritted out not hearing foot steps behind you.

[creative-caramel-coffee]

Hii

can I please request a fic for Weems and maybe Thornhill where reader gets a nosebleed in class or something idk.

Thank you.

Nosebleed

Pairings: Weems x reader (platonic)

Word count: 1.2K

Summary: You get a nosebleed in class and make a run for it.

TW: Blood, more blood, one swear word

A/n I am really projecting in this fic. Basically, all of it has happened to me expect you know, the whole nevermore part obviously (I wish tho)

Botany was one of your favourite classes by far but today you were exhausted. Enid had woken you up at the crack of dawn to tell you some gossip that “simply couldn’t wait.” You loved enid but that didn’t stop you threatening to give her a buzz cut in her sleep if she cut your sleep short again.

Ms Thornhill was stood at the front of the room talking about something our other. Based off the notes enid was taking in blinding neons gel pens it had something to do with inhibiting the ability of seers. Honestly you would photocopy her notes later, with the black and white printer of course this wasn’t your first rodeo.

You were staring off into space not really paying much attention to the real world when you felt your nose start to run. Dammit. You couldn’t get sick now. Electing to ignore it until the last possible minute still have wrapped up in your daydream you felt enid elbow you.

“Dude.” She said and you glared at her. “Your nose if bleeding.” She hissed in a loud whisper.

“Shit.” You said and brought the back of your wrist to the base of your nose. It came back with a bright red streak, and you immediately cupped a hand under your chin.

Ms Thornhill had paused for a second not really being able to see you past the plants.

“Ms L/n? Anything you’d like to share with the class?” She asked and you stood quickly staying out of sight.

“Nope all good. Be right back.” You said “hopefully” you added under your breath and the way Enid’s eyes widened told you she heard it. You turned on your heel and raced out of the classroom. Ignoring the calls from your botany teacher to return to the classroom. You hurried through the halls the red blood pooling in your cupped hands. You weren’t really paying much attention to the halls; everyone would be in class now anyway.

You had had plenty of nosebleeds in the past, so the start of the new year was always fun. New teachers who were unused to it often worried or tried to send you to the nurse making a big fuss. But by the end of the year, you would simply leave to take care of it in the bathrooms and return to class later with the simple question of “nosebleed?” To which you would say yes and return to your seat. Nosebleeds were just something you were used to.

So many different scenarios in the past. Being pulled out if school swimming lessons because you hadn’t noticed your nose was starting to bleed. That was awesome your hated swimming.

Of course, there were some less than ideal times for it. For example, waking up in the night and not being bothered to deal with it so you simply laid down some tissues on the pillow, sent a quick prayer to whatever god was awake at 2am so you wouldn’t drown in your own blood while you slept and rolled over and gone back to sleep.

In other words, you were simply desensitised at this point. You had had more nosebleeds than regular runny noses so much so if it ran your first thought was it was bleeding not running. But you guessed the less than adequate sleep from last night had contributed to the lack of awareness. You could often catch it before it dripped. Giving you enough time to grab a tissue. However, the idea of going in front of the class, which was partially made up of fledgling vampires wasn’t your idea of fun. So, you fled.

You were navigating your way to the nearest bathroom when you collided with someone, apologising profusely before carrying on.

Had you stopped you may have realised it was Principle weems. Principle weems who was wearing a white blazer which now had a red spot on it. She frowned before recognising it as blood and hurrying to follow you. She made note you weren’t going to the nurse or even remotely in the direction of the infirmary and decided to intervene. She shifted and removed the blood from her clothes and straightened her blazer before pushing open the door to the bathroom.

She peered in and gasped softly. You were stood trying not to touch anything with your bloody hands while your nose dripped onto the white porcelain. You seemed to be experienced in the matter which only made her more concerned.

“Ms L/n? Are you quite alright.” She asked coming and placing a hand on your shoulder.

You looked at her in the mirror and frowned.

“P-principle weems.” You said

“Yes darling.” She said and you connected the dots.

“Sorry for running into you. I was … preoccupied.”

“Multitasking in can see that.” She chuckled and walked over to the paper towel dispenser. She pulled out a few sheets and ran them under the tap next to the sink you were still hanging over.

She walked closer and gestured for you to give her your hand.

“But … it’s covered in blood?” You said.

“Yes, darling i know. That’s why I’m going to clean it.” She said softly and you let her wipe the blood off your hands before disposing of it and going to your other side to wipe it off the other hand.

Once your fingers were clean, she grabbed another sheet of paper towel and placed it on your upward facing palm which she used to hold your chin, her other hand coming to your cheek to guide your head to look at her.

She watched as it bled and surveyed the bleeding tilting your head back very slightly, she knew it was best to make sure you kept your head held forwards, but she wanted to check everything was ok. After a moment she guided you back over the sink and threw out the slightly bloodied paper towel. She washed her hands and came back to stand beside you.

“Darling the bleeding is slowing so we don’t have to take you to the infirmary.” She said and you scoffed, which made her raise an eyebrow.

“Based off your reaction and general demeanour towards…” she gestured to the sink, “this. I’d say this is a common occurrence, correct?” She asked and you nodded as best you could. You waited and after a few more seconds the bleeding had fully stopped.

You rinsed out the sink and the principle came with a wet paper towel to dab the blood from your top lip and cheek. Once she was done, she threw it in the bin along with the others.

Giving you a once over with her eyes she smiled.

“Well. I think you should get back to class. I’ll give you a note for Ms Thornhill.” She said and laughed at the expression on your face.

“How-?”

“Darling why do you think I was heading to your classroom?” She said and you nodded and chuckled to yourself.

“Well off you go. I’ll email Ms thornhill.” She said and ushered you back into the hall before setting off back to her office. You turned to leave, and the footsteps stopped making you turn back to check on her. She was facing you and chewing her lip slightly. When she caught your gaze, she sighed.

“Darling if you ever need anyone to help with this or the aftermath. Send someone or come get me love. Blood doesn’t bother me.” She said and you thanked her and went back to class.

MASTERLIST

[memphisflash]

𝐊𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐨𝐟 𝐇𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐬 | 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝟑

Pairing: Evelyn Harper (OC) x Elvis Presley

Word count: 2,1K

Chapter summary: Elvis knows he can't drop the truth on Evelyn like a bomb, and he lets her walk away. Not wanting to force her into anything but not wanting to be without her for longer either, he impulsively accepts Red's offer to bring in the help of a witch.

Chapter warnings: Elvis' pov! (not a warning but y'know), strong language, blood consumption.

Main m.list | Series m.list

➺ ELVIS' POV

Shit, shit, shit.

Me and my big damn mouth. This wasn’t supposed to happen – hell, Evelyn Harper should not be standing in front of me right now.

I knew this day would come eventually, though. She was the daughter of Christian Harper, once the nation’s best hunter, and I was… well, me. Christian didn’t like me and never had, so I wasn’t surprised he’d send one of his little minions after me, but I didn’t think he’d stoop that low to send his own daughter.

Especially considering our past together, but then again, Christian Harper wasn’t the saint he portrayed himself to be.

The fucker probably set me up with the murders too.

Sure, I killed people, but not to the extent one might think.

I was a predator, unfortunately for me it was imbedded into my DNA after I was turned into a vampire, but I wasn’t a young fledgling anymore. I learned from my mistakes in the past where I’d go out hunting unsuspecting humans just for the heck of it. Nowadays, I only killed when it was absolutely necessary – whether I, or my people, were in danger for example.

I didn’t murder the girls I’d take into my room in cold blood.

I didn’t even sleep with them most of the time.

I fed and healed them, and then compelled them to forget what they’ve seen and that they’ve been to my room in the first place. I had too many people depending on me, too many eyes on me at all times to be reckless. Leaving mutilated bodies behind in the alley of the International to let them rot by the trash cans? Not my style.

Either it was the job of another vampire in town that wanted to fuck up my reputation, or Christian Harper was behind it.

My gut told me it was the latter.

“H-How… How do you.. How do you know my name?”

I widened my eyes a little as I looked at the brunette in front of me, panic tingling my bones as I saw the look on her face. She was confused, and I could sense she was trying to hide the fact that she was growing nervous. I was the same, and I masked my feelings before she could pinpoint them.

Taking a step back to create space between us, I fought the urge to run a frustrated hand through my hair because they were still covered in Richard’s blood.

A death I’d have to grief and beat myself up for later.

“You should go,” I told her, opting to place my hands on my hips as I avoided eye contact.

I couldn’t just blurt out the truth to her. Not now.

I couldn’t tell her that she was being lied to by the people she loved and that her and I had a past together. It wasn’t something that one would just throw out there, as if it was no big deal.

“No,” Evelyn stood her ground as she pushed herself off the wall and stood straight, her eyes boring into me. “I’m not leaving before you tell me how you who I am.”

She’d always been stubborn. Something I liked about her but sometimes it got on my nerves because it would get her in trouble. Now was one of those cases.

Looking up at her with a serious expression, no more smug grins, I shook my head.

“You’re staying at the hotel I got plenty of connections in. Besides, it ain’t like the VHA is some secret operation vampires don’t know about. Don’t flatter yourself, sweetheart,”

The words came out more harsh than I intended to. But I needed to create distance between us, keep her at bay… at least, for now. It’s been three years since I’ve seen her and talked to her, and I needed to get my head straight. Despite not showing it, I’d been going through inner turmoil the second I saw her in the crowd tonight.

Once upon a time she looked at me with love and admiration in those beautiful chocolate eyes of hers, and now there was nothing but indifference, hatred for the creature I was.

They’d brainwashed her, the way I do to the girls that I feed from.

“I don’t buy that,”

Goddamnit, Evelyn.

“You know something and because of that, you think you’re already one step ahead,” she continued, taking a step closer to me. My jaw clenched as I looked down at her, forcing myself not to look at her lips. “I’d be careful making your next victim if I were you, Elvis, because I’m-“

My eyes lowered to the jewelry around her neck, silver pendant with a small ruby stone resting over her collarbone. “Ask your father where you got that necklace.”

She shut up at my interruption and frowned, her dainty fingers touching her necklace for a second. She slowly looked back up at me and it caused a shiver to run down my spine, but I managed not to show it. “M-My… father?” She whispered.

“If he truly cares about you, he will tell you the truth and it will set you free,” I told her pointedly, my voice dropping to a whisper too. I slowly brought my hand to her necklace, groaning softly at the feeling of the vervain laced jewelry underneath the pad of my index finger as I caressed it. I could hear her breath stammering slightly and as we looked at each other, my fingertip ghosting along her clavicle.

I wanted to grab her and kiss her, make love to her until the sun would rise again and drag us back to reality. But I couldn’t. We couldn’t.

“You need to go,” I told her once more as I pulled my hand back, veins crawling underneath my eyes as my vampiric face threatened to come through my human one. Not because I wanted to sink my teeth into her soft skin, but because it was hard to control myself this close to her, in all senses of the word. “Please leave, Eva,”

I cursed myself at the pet name that was only used by me for her, but a sprinkle of hope sparked at my heart as she looked at me with slightly widened eyes.

Could it be...?

But then she took a step back and turned, walking to the door and that spark of hope was killed as fast as it had grown.

She looked at me once more as she stood in the door opening and I mentally begged her to speak, to say something, but instead we just looked at each other for what both felt like an eternity and a split second. And then she was gone, taking what was left of my undead heart with her.

The Memphis Mafia was used to my raving and ranting whenever the opportunity called for it. They’ve been around me long enough to know what I was like.

I was the one who turned most of them into vampires.

Some willingly, some not.

I now realize how selfish I’d been in the past, but I couldn’t stand to face an eternity all alone. I needed companionship around me and I gave them everything they wanted and needed…

Protection, money, status, luxury things.

It made them stay and now that the person I needed most wasn't by my side anymore, I couldn't stand the thought of my guys not being in my life either.

But I knew they were unhappy with me killing Richard.

The vampire that had fallen into Evelyn’s trap had been with me since the early sixties. I liked the guy and regretted taking his heart, but the guys also knew who Evelyn was and what she meant to me. I would kill for her, no questions asked.

And they didn’t ask any questions. They simply got rid of the body, grieving their friend silently and didn’t mention a word to me.

All but one were afraid to speak to me about the situation.

“Breakfast, boss?”

I looked up as the door to my bedroom in the penthouse opened and Red appeared into view.

It was 4 o’clock in the afternoon, the usual time I’d come out of my cocoon and get ready for the night’s show. I hadn’t rested or even slept a wink because my mind had been racing with thoughts.

Consumed by one person.

Evelyn Harper.

“Yeah. Come in.” I told Red as I waved him over, sitting up straight against the headboard of my bed. The curtains of the canopy of my bed were drawn at the window’s side, engulfing me in my own dark shelter. I turned on the light on the bedside table and cleared my throat a little, thanking Red for the tray he put on my bed.

Fruits, bacon, coffee and blood.

The usual.

I reached for the crimson liquid that had been poured into a mug, taking a sip of it as my eyes followed Red’s figure around the room. He sat on a chair near the bed and leaned his arms on his knees, looking at me knowingly.

“How do you feel?”

An uncomfortable question I didn’t know if I was able to answer. I felt a lot of things and even after thinking things over for the entire night, I didn’t know how I was supposed to feel.

Hurt, angry, frustrated, heartbroken.

“She don’t remember me, Red. I knew she wouldn’t, but goddamnit, seein’ her like that.. it.. it’s hell, man.”

Red nodded his head a little, rubbing his hands together. He’d been there when everything went down – he knew the reason why she didn’t remember anything and he knew how much it broke me.

Back then, and now all over again.

“You know how easily this can be reversed, right? We get her here alone and undo the compulsion.”

“And then what? We’d have to fight off hunters for the next ten, twenty years.. Take her whole life away from her. I can’t do that, Red.”

Red sighs deeply and looks down at his daylight ring, twirling it around his finger. “You’ve done it before..”

His words were low and maybe he didn’t mean for me to hear them, but I did.

I was aware he didn’t mean it in a malicious way and his intention wasn’t to hurt me, but the words made something inside of me snap.

I threw the mug of blood against the nearest wall, shoving the tray off my bed, not caring about the mess it made.

“I did not take her life away from her,” I gritted through my teeth, standing at the side of my bed as I pointed my finger at the other vampire. “We loved… we love each other.”

Evelyn might not remember me, but that wasn’t her fault. It was the fault of the people she called friends, of the people she called family. In my heart, I knew she still loved me.

And I wanted her to remember, more than anything in the world, but I’d never experienced someone being uncompelled.

I didn’t know what the aftermath would be.

Would it even work? Would she remember everything or just small snippets of the past? Would it hurt her?

Would she even want anything to do with me?

Hell, who knows. It could possibly even kill her and I'd rather step into the scorching Vegas sun without my ring rather than for that to happen.

At least now I had her nearby and she felt something, hatred of all things, but that was better than nothing.

By uncompelling her, I’d turn her whole life around.

Red got up and raised his hands as if he was surrendering, knowing not to anger me further. I groaned and sat down on the edge of my bed, my head in my hands. I felt Red patting my shoulder twice, releasing a low sigh through his nose.

“I know you did. She loved you once, Elvis, and she can do it again. There’s plenty of witches running around Vegas, just say the word…”

I stayed silent, listening to Red’s soft footsteps walking to the door. I wasn’t sure what the best way to handle all of this was yet, but I had to have at least a back up plan.

Raising my head, I spoke up before Red could leave the room.

“Red..”

“Yeah, boss?”

He looked back at me as I got back into the bed, grabbing onto open curtain of my bed. “Make the call.”

With that, I pulled the black velvet curtain closed, drowning myself in darkness before the show tonight.

[brightdarkness-2013]

Chapter 5: Chapter 5?! No Way!

Summary:Prowl gets a new hang out.

Blaster and I had decided that our mer friend needed a place to go during the day. Being trapped in the cove and swimming in a tight circle around the rock wasn’t the best place to swim. There was no room to stretch and the water was only up to our waists if we stepped in. His injuries were healing rather well and it was painfully obvious he needed more space to move. Thus we set off one afternoon in search of a good spot along the shore. A little trekking through some light brush, grass, and some long stretch of beach littered with so many shells our steps crunched no matter where we stepped we found a little place far enough from the town it was unlikely anyone would head out here. The little cape was void of any garbage or evidence that anyone had been around the area. Even if there were some people who came out there were plenty of rocks and patches of seagrass to hide in. So early the following day we coaxed our mer friend out with some m&ms.

“Come on.”

We were running along the coast, our mer easily keeping up. We’d give him an m&m every once in awhile to keep him from turning back. However he didn’t appear to be thrilled that we were only giving him one at a time if that glare he gave us every time we threw one was anything to go by. Blaster and I on the other hand were laughing like we were having the time of our lives. Once we got to the slope that separated from the water our mer hesitated, giving out a few quiet sounds as he watched us as he lifted his head from the water.

“We’ll meet ya on the other side.” I reassured as I made the motion of going around something though he just gave out another noise that sounded suspiciously like a whine. “We’ll call ya if you get lost. I promise.”

Off we went again. Once we made it to the cape I stuck my hand under the water and snapped my fingers like I did to call him so many times before as Blaster called for him. Thankfully it didn’t take long. All in all the discovery of a safe place with more space had put our friend in a better mood. We’d still feed him in the cove on weekdays, but on the weekends we’d head down to the cape where we’d talk and watch our mer stalk the wildlife there. Either creeping around the rocks or hiding in the seagrass. The fish in the cape were small, but it wasn’t like he needed it to survive with us feeding him. I’d whistle little tunes every once in awhile and Blaster would watch as our mer gave me questioning looks. And one day I had my inspiration. Sunday at ten am I had it.

“Prowl.”

“Huh?”

“That’s what I’m going to call our mer.” I answered as we watched him.

“Prowl…” Blaster tried out the name. “It fits. You can only hope he thinks so too.”

“Eh, he’s a fish with-”

Blaster gave me a mildly disappointed look and I just grinned. “Mammal.”

“Ok, he’s a mammal with an attitude, but I doubt he’ll care too much what we call him.”

“Fair enough… Please tell me you haven’t been referring to him as a fish this entire time.”

“In my defense I assumed so because he lives in the ocean.”

“So do dolphins.”

“Oh whatever that’s one example.”

“Whales.” My friend was grinning smugly now.

“Shut up, Blaster.”

Blaster just laughed and I shoved him over onto the beach where he just continued to laugh much to my dismay.

444444444444444444 Even more fours!4444444444444444444

“Jazz! Finally! I’ve called you like twenty times!”

“I’m kind of celebrating my sister's birthday right now.”

“Oh please you’re in the corner with your headphones eating all the sweets.”

“I’m outnumbered and last time they locked me out in the backyard and ate all of the cake in front of me because they thought it was funny.”

“It was.”

“Blaster.”

“And it was good cake. Ice cream and oreo.”

“Blaster!”

“Ok, ok so I went out with Gaven and you’re never gonna believe what happened.”

“What did you find a giant squid? Did you fall in?”

“No. Prowl helped us fish. He herded them into the net. Gaven nearly fell off the boat the way he was leaning over the side. Kept yelling at me to get the camera.”

“What? Really?”

“Yeah. He must’ve seen me leaving with Gaven and followed. We got a ton of fish and Gaven even shared some with Prowl afterward.”

“I bet he was happy to have some live meat for once.” I couldn’t help, but laugh.

“You have no idea. He seems to be doing much better. I didn’t realize how much those wing fins helped. He can take some pretty sharp turns now that the right one isn’t torn.”

“Maybe if he can keep helping ya and your stepdad he won’t leave.”

“Jazz, if his pod comes I doubt he’s gonna stay and settle for a fishing boat. Not exactly a good pod member to befriend and bond with.”

“And what if they don’t? What if they’re dead? Maybe herding fish for ya guys will be enough to make him stay. I mean that’s basically what he did when he hunted with his pod, right?” I fidgeted in my seat as the girls laughter in the next room erupted.

“Possibly… But he can’t just stay in the cove.”

“And why not? If they’re dead he has nowhere else to go. What is he going to do out there alone? I don’t want him to just die out there.”

“I don’t either, but if he does decide to leave what then?”

“I don’t know… I just don’t want him to go. I mean we’ve made some great progress. He stopped growling at me. He twitches an ear fin when we call his name. I think we’ve bonded.”

“I know what you mean, but… Just… Prepare yourself for the worst and hope for the best. Maybe they’ll come.”

“Is it really that wrong that I kind of don’t want them to?”

“Maybe, maybe not. I don’t want him to go either, but he misses them.”

“... Is there a possibility that he could be accepted into another pod? You know if they are dead and he still leaves?”

“I have no clue. I doubt he’d want another. They’re his family. Pods may mingle from time to time during a breeding season, but I don’t think they join unless they absolutely have to.”

“So that’s a no.” I let my head fall back in my chair as I blindly reached for another treat.

“Certain types are different and have different ways. I only have the barest knowledge on mers. For all I know they could be completely accepting of new members.”

I sighed and silence reigned for a time. In the end Blaster was the one who broke the silence.

“Sometimes there’s just nothing you can do, Jazz, no matter how much you want to.”

“I know… See you tonight at the cove?”

“I’ll be there.”

Next

First

[goodbysunball]

Digital monsters

Sneaking a few in before April's done and gone. Many of these musics were experienced digitally only for the most part, whether it was due to lack of a physical product or expensive import prices, none of which now apply (except for the Stone Rollers) as I finally get around to posting this. Ian's making Light Metal Age tapes, MIKE just put Pinball on CD, I finally pulled the trigger on KN​Æ​KKET SMIL, etc. Still, the car is the place where most listening is done these days, an unavoidable and really-not-that-bad reality. Windows down, these up:

Maria Bertel & Nina Garcia, KN​Æ​KKET SMIL (Kraak/No Lagos Musique/Otomatik)

It would not be much of an understatement to say I'm a bit burned out on free-improv-jazz and adjacent records, but a live video posted earlier this year by @dustedandsocial piqued my interest in this duo. Nina Garcia shreds and mangles the guitar in a manner both controlled and explosive, like the best no wave auteurs, but the draw here is what Maria Bertel does with the trombone. She pulls these long, drawn-out notes from the belly of the instrument, like glass fibers being pulled from a melt, reminiscent Phill Niblock's arrangements for cello or voice. There's plenty of scrape 'n skronk coming from the trombone, too, like on "Trick & Illusion," but I find the bass-y drones to be more interesting. The end result is a brittle, harsh push-pull between the relatively free guitar and the more grounded trombone, where it often sounds like the two are running in circles in a room with their eyes closed, occasionally colliding to combine forces. When they are not at odds, as on "Nightmare of a Lunatic," the results can be thrilling. At other points on the record I am reminded of Harvey Milk's "Pinnochio's Example" (the title track), later-period Sightings ("Lost Arts," "Twin Truths") and the instrumental side of Khanate ("Playground of Blind Forces," "Inorganic Body"). Given how this is presented - bare, without any perceivable ornamentation or post-production - it makes for a tough listen; you've gotta be in the mood for something this harsh and unadorned, 'cause meeting you halfway isn't happening. But, if you've any affinity for old instruments hammered into new shapes by inspired/inspiring hands, there's some powerful, almost-mystic energy wafting from the grooves.

Bobby Would, Relics of Our Life (Digital Regress)

Bobby’s back, continuing his partnership with the esteemed Digital Regress label, who brought his STYX release to the LP format. STYX was dedicated to his mother, and initial listens have left me convinced that Relics also appears to be wrestling with her passing. Unlike STYX, which contained tracks like "Hype On" that worked themselves into something resembling upbeat and energetic, Relics is a comparatively somber affair. It's bookended by two quiet instrumental tracks ("Runaway" is especially good), and in between is more skeletal, maybe even refined, version of Bobby Would. The overall effect here is often reminiscent of Wonderfuls, or Lewsberg on In Your Hands: gossamer-thin arrangements, sparkling guitars, slow tempos and mumbled vocals. While there are points where Bobby Would presents as a bit listless or hopeless, it never stretches to the maudlin, mostly due to the opaque phrasing. As on previous BW releases, the lyrics are still usually little more than repetition of single phrases until they become profound, which works especially well on these subdued arrangements. The more I listen, the more it sounds like a natural progression from his last two proper LPs, the subtle refinement of a now-signature sound. Like “Maybe You Should” from World Wide World, “Tryin' 2," "Is It Nice Now?" and “No More” rank with some of his best slow dancers; "Explain" and "All I Do" feel like Baby's grown now, using only the necessary elements to create a song and cutting the tape when it's done (not that Bobby Would has ever had a problem with economy). The only misstep here? The hidden track at the end of the physical record, a cover of UB40's "Red Red Wine" (no fucking joke), and nothing more need be said about that. The nine tracks that properly make up Relics of Our Life deserve to be lived in, spindly guitar lines swirling around like smoke and mumbled vocal incantations taking you elsewhere for the duration. Another unassuming gem from the surprisingly durable Bobby Would.

Light Metal Age, s/t (self-released)

In retrospect, I think Gen Pop's PPM66 is one of the best records to come out in the past decade, wringing modern ennui by the neck to squeeze out lyrical inspiration, nailing down a balance between catchy and smart in an impressively effortless way. That record flew, and still flies, under the radar, unfortunately, and the band is no more. Light Metal Age is the new project of Gen Pop's Ian Patrick Corrigan, and it sorta picks up the thread of PPM66, but veers off into the countrified black humor of Country Teasers ("Quil Ceda"), lonesome new age ("Oakland 2017"), and a chilling minimal synth track ("Garage In Meridian"). Corrigan's vocals sound like Bill Callahan in his early days as Smog, but in content he appears to be searching for a place or meaning or some sign that the world isn't as backwards and cruel as it actually is. I think opener "What He's Done" is my favorite song of the year so far, a perfectly dusty guitar line paired with deep, reverberated vocals coldly presenting a personal inventory (“Tattoos since he was 20,” “$20K he owes/20 years to go”). It’s all tied together by the chorus of “You said let it go/But do you know/what he’s done?,” the anxiety of being a prisoner of your past neatly summarized. “Quil Ceda" is my other standout favorite, the biting line "It will make you sick" now popping up in my head all too often as I go about my days. Really, there's something to like on every track here: the double-timed portion toward the end of "T.U.L.I.P."; the rain-soaked, pre-dawn alleys conjured by "Garage In Meridian"; and the subdued Ben Wallers impression on "Gaps In the Material." Sure, "Oakland 2017" is maybe a bit long and saps momentum plopped in the middle, but this seems more like a mixtape than a finished product, and I've come to appreciate the cracks in the tracks forced together. I've been playing it non-stop for nearly two months now, a potent distillation of the young American's modern struggle, laid out without self-pity and the right amount of simmering discontent. Can't ask for much more.

MIKE & Tony Seltzer, Pinball (10K)

Here’s an unexpectedly economical and breezy offering from MIKE, produced entirely by Tony Seltzer. Not sure what Tony Seltzer did here to allow MIKE to let down his guard and puff out his chest a little, but it’s a welcome change of pace, if a bit forgettable. Seltzer’s beats aren’t going to have many rappers come calling, but they’re exciting enough jumping off points for MIKE to try on different personas. I get hints of UGK-era Bun-B (named checked in “Underground Kingz,” as required), Young Dolph, and Lil Baby in MIKE’s rapping on Pinball, and it’s fun and jarring to hear him rap over trap beats like “Yin-Yang.” For all his efforts, the album lags in spots - “100 Gecs,” “Underground Kingz” and “R&B” have become laborious over multiple listens, the beats sputtering, the rapping losing steam without MIKE’s usual emotional overflow. But the opener “Two Door,” the unassuming bounce of “Skurrr” and "Pinball," and the Niontay-featuring “2k24 Tour” still connect, MIKE throwing off a satin boxing robe and sparring with whoever. It’s true that overexposure to this album over the past few weeks has probably taken away some of its luster, but hearing MIKE in this capacity paints a more complete picture of him as an artist. Short ‘n mostly sweet, with no tears, Pinball’s sure to be a steady listen through the punishing summer ahead.

The Stone Rollers, The Ballad of Bill Spears (self-released)

Are the Woolen Men done? Nothing official on that, but members are shifting priorities to other groups: guitarist Lawton Browning is in Change Life, and the Stone Rollers features WM drummer Raf Spielman. The Stone Rollers have been releasing single tracks, one at a time, since September of last year, and The Ballad of Bill Spears puts all four tracks together. It's a separate project and unfair to compare the two, though there are strong sonic similarities to the Woolen Men. The Stone Rollers are bouncy and hard-strumming, somewhere between folk protest songs (yes, there's harmonica) and country with a punk edge (but obviously not as bad as that descriptor conjures). In the spirit of the best country songs, the Stone Rollers don't restrain themselves from saying some really mean shit on these songs, taking people to task with an acid tongue and leaving without apology. I like all four songs - if you're not listening to the lyrics too closely, these are breezy pop songs with the strong character of the '60s - but I think "The Shell Song" and "You Can't Reach Me" are the two best. The former has the harshest lyrics ("When I see you down the line, I hope you're not the same" and "I won't wait around to see what you become/because good or bad I do not care at all"), and "You Can't Reach Me" is an ode to the dream of escaping "my life/bound up so tight" for the greener grass. All four tracks are simple and effective/affecting in an immediate way, familiar but bristling, classic-sounding but unmistakably modern. A nice teaser from the Rollers, who I can only hope will excoriate this feeble review on an upcoming track.

[doctor-fancy-pants]

That Researchin' Maritime Life

We've got a bit of downtime - there's a trawl going down to 5000m right now.

I've rotated and freshened up the sea cucumbers, packed away the echinoderms (starfish, sea cucumbers, sea urchins, brittle stars, feather stars and sea lilies), thrown a few buckets of seawater in the cold room (including the smaller pails seen below, I'm refining my holothurian rescue plans), and had a snack because This Machine, She Runs On Heavy Fuel.

This is actually a very comfortable ship to live on. Each cabin has a private ensuite, so you're not clambering down the bunk ladder and teetering out into the hall in search of the head in the middle of the night (I have been very spoilt and have only had one voyage like that). The mess has plenty of room at mealtimes. There are two lounges ("quiet" and "you're allowed to make noise and have informal meetings" respectively), and my favourite beanbags in the world.

There are, however, some drawbacks to marine research as a specialty (apart from the lack of job security, she says, as a short term contract taxonomist), and using a laboratory on a boat.

What drawbacks, you may ask.

Well, after my shift ends, I've been known to totter wearily into an online chat with mates and just drop random observations (you may note a somewhat laissez-faire attitude to punctuation).

For example:

you know it's amazing, you can be totally fine working in the dirty wet lab and you'll leave for five minutes and it's like your olfactory filters completely reset and then you get back down there and the nose is shouting at the brain "BOY HOWDY IT SURE DO SMELL LIKE FISHY PRAWNS IN HERE HUH JUST GOTTA SOAK IN THAT BRINY AMBIENCE"

summation: the science smells bad.

related outcome: the scientist also smells bad.

Yuuup, the smell is a whole freaking vibe. We can't dump too much seawater down the sinks that go into the grey water holding tank, we can't open the chute in the lab if there's an operation in progress (i.e. a trawl, a tow video, a Baited Remote Underwater Video, a fish trap) (which has been the case more often than not), and the same restriction is in place for simply tipping buckets over the side

That means that buckets of filthy seawater, sea cucumber guts, discarded excess critters, banged-up prawns and so on... just have to sit in the lab for a bit.

I've got a very sensitive nose. I have never been good at filtering out unpleasant smells, and yet somehow I kind of adapt to the lab odours... until I head up to the mess, and back down again.

(side note: we do actually clean the lab very thoroughly between trawls, and it does not smell all the time! It's more when you have to take a break in the middle of processing and then come back to it.)

What I do not adapt to is how bad I smell. By the end of the day, if I've been racing around in my coveralls, especially if I've been carrying heavy things, I will stink to high heaven.

(I will be quite self-conscious standing next to anyone.)

That shower is... so good.

But showering every day raises an issue. It's not what I normally do. Now, I realise there are some people who will find that horrifying (and most of them are from the US for some reason), but every second day, or when I need to wash my hair, or after a workout or, on a hot day? Yeah, that shower is good.

Every day? My poor skin is dryer than shoe leather, and I use a very gentle shower gel.

Shower Discord thoughts:

have been speculating on how one transitions from "I own body moisturiser but only occasionally remember to use it" as a terrestrial organism, to "I am pretty sure I could start a black market trade by subdividing this half-tube of Body Shop Hemp Hand Cream into small aliquots" as a person who is

1) at sea (the briny sea! The salty [drying] air!)

2) when not outdoors in the salty air, indoors in the drying A/C

3) regularly shoving one's hands into 100% ethanol and... usually... nearly always... wearing gloves while doing so

I mean this cream is the good shit

like basically liquid gold

which... could also be distributed in aliquots

okay. have decided: will not trade Body Shop Hemp Hand Cream for less than the equivalent volume of liquid gold

On later reflection, while I continue to believe that this asking price is fair, I may be pricing myself out of the market, if for no other reason than the simple lack of gold on board the vessel, regardless of phase.

I have decided that it doesn't have to be liquid. Melting gold on a moving vessel far off the continental shelf is an untenable safety risk. It just means that we will have to try to match the quantities by weight.

And that means using the scales in the clean wet lab, because the balances in our lab are not up to that sort of task.

And that means that I have definitely thought about this far too much, and I should go do something else (mainly clean my teeth and get ready for bed - need to get the energy for tomorrow's science-ing!).

We're still doing a fair bit of transiting and deeper sites, so I plan to try and knock out some taxonomic work on the few crinoids that have made it into the lab, and maybe set aside some time for the Sea Cucumber Salon.

Cukes gotta get their glamour shots, dammit.

[stygiusfic]

styg’s story thoughts (I): character reactions

(This post is brought to you by my wonderful friends who asked about my thoughts on plotting!)

We tend to think of plotting as what happens next or what the characters do, ie. action. But stories are a cycle of action-reaction, and we don't always give the reaction part its full weight. Three-act structure has both action and reaction beats, yet the so-called "major" beats that manuals like Save the Cat recommend defining first are all action: Catalyst, Break into 2, Midpoint, All Is Lost, Break into 3... 

Of course all of those have matching reaction beats, so reactions aren't being ignored by the 3-act model; it's just that the established process is to figure out reactions after you've got the action down. Chronologically, that makes sense. But I think that leads us to see reactions as the less important half, when in fact they are what breathes life into any story.

I've been thinking about this a lot lately, and it's helped me feel a lot more connected to whatever I'm writing, so I want to talk about it here. 

Reactions shape a story to a degree that sets it apart from others with similar chains of events. Because anything could happen to anyone—but people rarely view or feel about everything the same exact way. The same events told from different perspectives can radically change what type of story it becomes!

Imagine this: if you're going somewhere with plenty of time to spare, and you miss the train you were planning to take, well, it's alright, you can wait for the next one, or maybe walk partway. But if you're running late, like I often am, and you miss the train, you're probably going to get really stressed out. And if you were going somewhere important to you, there will be an added layer of urgency and frustration when you miss the train, making that seem even more dire.

What I mean is: no event is intrinsically significant. The characters' reactions make it so.

Any event is important in the eyes of the story and the audience only to the degree that the characters assign importance to it. And this degree of importance also determines who the characters are, which in turn answers the question of what they do next.

Here's a classic example that blew my mind when I heard it phrased in these terms recently: Shakespeare's Othello.

The action that jumpstarts the tragic spiral—Iago planting Othello’s wife’s handkerchief in Cassio’s room—is in itself only significant because of Othello's reaction. If Othello had decided to not freak out and jump to conclusions when he discovered it—if, instead, he'd had a healthy conversation with his wife and cleared up Iago's deception—the story would have been very different! But Othello reacts with jealousy and mistrust of Desdemona (as Iago wanted him to). Those feelings fester, and move him to eventually kill her and, later, himself. That’s why the story becomes a tragedy—because Othello’s reactions leave no room for any other outcome.

And it starts with a stupid handkerchief! But the handkerchief is important to us because it's important to Othello. 

This is why, when trying to come up with "big" moments for an outline, sometimes rather than starting with actions it's easier to think first: what kind of reaction am I looking to provoke at this stage? Am I looking for a turn for the better or a turn for the worse? And then second: what kind of action would trigger that reaction?

The ways in which characters care, or don't—and by extension the ways we as the audience care—make up a big part of the story and can define tone and genre as well.

Another example: imagine a character commits murder. 

Murder is an act that we can all universally agree is big and bad and world-shaking. There are countless stories that center around a murder (or many) and how they shape the lives of the characters who suffered in the wake of that act, creating stories of revenge or disillusionment or justice. 

In those stories, murder is Big. But then on the other end of the spectrum, we have Tarantino movies, where characters will shoot someone and not even look while they do it, and the story moves on unbothered. This lack of reaction is a kind of reaction too. It tells us: this is a story in which murder is small and easy and the deaths of random people are unimportant. We don't linger in the unimportant. Those murders carry no moral weight for the audience; we're likelier to feel amazement at the fake blood fountaining on-screen than mourn the loss of a life. But the story will linger in the deaths of characters who are significant, like Bill in Kill Bill. The time spent in his final monologue and the unpacking of motivations and consequences set him apart from the nameless dead and honor his importance to the story.

I believe this is, in part, what people are trying to communicate when they say "show, don't tell". (Which is flawed advice for prose, especially if taken to the extreme, because it was originally an adage for theater, but anyway.) What it means is, if you want the audience to perceive something as important, show the character reacting to it like it's important. Spend time and words in the moments that affect your characters. If you just "tell" the information and move right along, and we don't see any notable reaction, we can assume it's not important and we don't need to emotionally attach to it. 

This is an oversimplification. Sometimes telling is preferable to showing, because showing takes more words and being straightforward has its own place. (And sometimes telling lets you set things up discreetly on the side so you can expand on them later, so you just make them seem unimportant until they're not. There are a million reasons to tell instead of show.) 

But I really love that deciding how much time and space you spend on reactions shapes the action and pacing and feel of the story. Every genre you can think of that "feels" a particular way when done right feels that way because reactions are consistent with the inner logic of the genre. (Meeting a certain stranger a number of times in different places can be exciting in the set-up of a romance; but if it's a thriller, the character noticing the pattern may well be concerned instead.) 

I've been trying more than ever to look for big reactions, and reverse-engineer the events that would prompt them by getting at the heart of the character, because watching someone care too much is way more engaging than watching them care only a little. 

[sasaranomiya]

Koukyuu no Karasu Volume 2 Chapter 2 - The Water’s Voice (Part 1)

Damn the Magpie Consorts in this series have terrible luck don’t they

Also, the foreshadowing in this series man...

Here’s my Ko-fi if anyone is feeling generous

TW: Suicide, beheading

Translation Notes

1. The kanji used here is “ 舵星 “ or kajiboshi, which is a Japanese name for the Big Dipper

2. The kanji used here is “金鏃” which is read as kanamamaki, which seems to be a Ryukyuan name for one of the stars (it comes from a Ryukyuan song about stars). The same goes for the Flower Comb star.

3. Both of these books are real. Lessons for Women or 女戒 (Nüjie) is written by Han dynasty female intellectual Ban Zhou, and Examples for Women or 女則 ( Nüze) is written by Empress Zhangsun (consisted of biographies of outstanding women)

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After Koushun descended from the palanquin, he walked past the kneeling acolytes and stopped in front of an old man, who was still kneeling in the end.

“Are you in good health, Setsu Gyoei?” Koushun asked after urging him to stand up.

“I drink bitter medicinal decoctions every morning and evening and I can hardly move at all. I am thinking that it is time for me to retire.”

The Minister of Works’ reply was so easygoing that it was questionable whether or not he meant what he said. In Koushun’s eyes, he seemed plenty vigorous in his old age.

“It will become blistering all at once soon. That would be difficult on an old man, Your Majesty.”

“You seem like you’re going to be saying the same thing here in a hundred years.”

“You jest, Your Majesty.”

Ho ho, he laughed like an old man. It sounded false.

“So, what can this senile old man do for you today, Your Majesty.”

Koushun was taken to the Winter Ministry building at the back of Seiu Temple and was sitting face to face with Gyoei in a room. As usual, both the temple and the building were old and run-down. The thorough cleanliness of the building made the fadedness of the peeling vermillion pillars and dulled table stand out even more.

“I don’t have any pressing business,” Koushun said.

“So, you came all the way out here to see this wrinkled bearded face? I’m honored.”

The white-bearded face said, “Do you have nothing to do?” That wasn’t the case.

“I came to ask about the Raven Consort.”

Gyoei’s long white eyebrows rose, and his hidden hawk-like eyes widened. He was wearing dark gray robes and a slate-gray futou with a pintail duck’s tail feather tucked into it. His clothing resembled that of a eunuch, but he wasn’t a eunuch. His gray clothing was a sign that he was a servant of Wulian Niangniang. Gyoei was one of the few people who knew who the Raven Consort is.

“…You’ve said the same thing when you came here before. Well, I don’t know the Raven Consort any better than the Raven Consort does.”

“Not the ‘Raven Consort’—I want to hear about Jusetsu or Reijou.”

Gyoei closed his mouth that had spoken evasively and looked at Koushun intently from behind his eyebrows.

“For what reason, Your Majesty?”

“Because I want to know.”

“I do not believe it’s a good idea,” Gyoei made a bitter face. “I’m shocked that you would say that, knowing who the Raven Consort is. It is better for you and her to not have anything to do with each other, Your Majesty.”

“Even though it’s my fault that she’s imprisoned in the inner palace?”

“It isn’t your fault, Your Majesty. If anyone is to blame, then it would be the fault of Ran Yuu, the first emperor of the Ran dynasty.”

It was Ran Yuu who decided to confine the Winter King in the inner palace as the Raven Consort.

“As long as I’m in this position, I can’t be exempted from blame. It is my duty to learn about the Raven Consort. I must learn what her life was like and what it will be like, and see it with my own eyes.”

Gyoei sighed.

“Your Majesty, you are too serious. You are also resolute. Or should I say, you have a deep heart…”

He sounded greatly troubled. His eyes were moving shrewdly. He was probably searching for a way to excuse himself.

Gyoei, Koushun said.

“Don’t try and play crafty tricks. Do not think you can talk your way out of this.”

Koushun rarely raised his voice. However, there was something in his quiet voice that reminded one of winter.

Gyoei’s eyes widened behind his white eyebrows, and he turned his face away awkwardly. Seeing the sly old man’s mask come off a little was just a bit satisfying for Koushun.

“You’ve said before that Reijou greeted you when she passed on her role. Did you mean that you met her in person?”

When Koushun asked him that, Gyoei reluctantly spoke.

“…I have not seen her since she became the Raven Consort. ‘Passing on her role’ means the moment the Raven Consort dies. That is what I meant by that greeting,” Gyoei suddenly broke off and stared at the tea on the table. He blinked several times. “I mean that the deceased Raven Consort had appeared to me.”

“You mean as a ghost?”

“Yes, Your Majesty,” Gyoei replied, looking bored. “She came to tell me, ‘Take care of Jusetsu.’”

“I see that Reijou trusted you to the extent that she asked you to do something for her. You ‘haven’t seen her since she became the Raven Consort,’ but that means you have met her before she became the Raven Consort, is that right?”

Gyoei’s eyebrows furrowed slightly in displeasure.

“Yes, Your Majesty, but it is rather difficult to speak when you’re always pouncing on my words like this.”

“If I didn’t pounce on your words, you wouldn’t talk.”

“…” Gyoei was silent. The Winter Minister served Wulian Niangniang and obeyed the orders of the Raven Consort—Gyoei had once told him that. Koushun didn’t bring Ei Sei with him today, but he would have been upset at Gyoei’s attitude. He didn’t bring him because he thought that would be the case.

Gyoei sighed.

“…For me, her family is the master’s house. Her father was a hansui (chief of the local military organization), and my father was a house soldier. The hansui was a gruff and down-to-earth man, and he took good care of me. When he saw promise in me, he gave me a teacher to study under, and I studied under the same teacher alongside Reijou. Like her father, Reijou was a wise and open-minded person—”

Gyoei cleared his throat.

“Well, I need not go further than that. In any case, Reijou and I knew each other.”

Far from just ‘knowing each other,’ for Reijou, he was most likely a friend she had known since childhood and someone she could trust.

“When was Reijou chosen to be the successor to the Raven Consort?”

“…When she was around the age of fourteen.”

“That’s unexpectedly late. I heard that Jusetsu was chosen at the age of six.”

“If it is the will of Wulian Niangniang, then it is impossible for me to make any conjecture.”

Couldn’t that be mistaken for her “whim”?

That thought suddenly popped into Koushun’s mind.

“So, upon that, she was taken to the inner palace?”

“Yes. She was twenty-two when her predecessor died and she became the Raven Consort.”

“I believe Jusetsu was fourteen when she took over the role of Raven Consort. In both cases, it was eight years later. Could it be that the current Raven Consort dies eight years after the next one is chosen?”

Gyoei didn’t reply directly to his question, but simply answered, “Eight is a sacred number.”

“Reijou must have known when she was going to die. That was why she taught Jusetsu as much as she could until then.”

Gyoei sipped his tea in silence. Koushun looked at him intently.

“When did you join the Winter Ministry?”

“Do you also wish to know about this senile old man?”

“It’s because I think you became the Winter Minister to help Reijou.”

“How would becoming the Winter Minister be helpful?” Gyoei sounded somewhat angry, and then he looked away, as if embarrassed. “…I joined the Winter Ministry when I was twenty-four years old. At that time, when a person passed the examinations, they had to be from a prominent family to be appointed a government official position. However, only the Winter Ministry was open to commoners. That is all there was to it.”

“I see,” was all Koushun said.

“This place was a little livelier when I joined,” Gyoei laughed as he drank his tea. “There were twice as many acolytes as there are now. Although it was still a collection of jobless people who couldn’t become government officials. However, they are all excellent in their own ways. After all, I was the one who trained them.”

“You train them, and then you let them go.”

Most of the acolytes of the Winter Ministry were appointed as government officials after a few years. Such a path had been established. It was a path that Gyoei had paved the way for over many years. Despite his do-nothing position, Gyoei was highly respected by the prime minister and chief secretary, who were close to Koushun.

“There are still some eccentrics who remain. I will leave the rest to them.”

He was speaking like he already retired. Did he intend to step down after all?

“If you want to retire, I’ll give you my permission…but before you do, I would like you to meet Jusetsu.”

“The Raven Consort?” Gyoei lifted an eyebrow in puzzlement. “What good would it do to be face to face with an old man like me?”

“Tell her about Reijou. I’m sure it would make her happy.”

It should make her happy—probably.

Gyoei stared at Koushun for a while. Not in an astounded or mocking manner. He was simply looking at him with emotionless eyes. Koushun couldn’t see what dwelled behind them.

“I understand. If I am qualified for this task, then I will humbly accept it.”

After saying that, Gyoei got up from his chair and bowed. Because of that, Koushun was unable to see his expression.

When Jusetsu was first brought to Yamei Palace, she was a slightly dingy girl covered in dust and dirt.

Reijou had ordered Keishi, the servant woman, to have Jusetsu bathe in the bathroom at the back of the palace and dress in clean silken clothing. With the dirt removed, the magnificent silver color of her hair was revealed. It was the mark of the previous imperial family. Reijou showed no surprise when she saw it. She knew everything.

“You will have to live here for the rest of your life. What a cruel fate.”

Reijou said sorrowfully. Although her hair was dyed black, Jusetsu didn’t truly understand her melancholy. It was only after Reijou told her everything that she understood.

She told her that Jusetsu was a survivor of the previous dynasty’s imperial family. That all of them were executed—including her mother. That in such a situation, Jusetsu must live not only in the emperor’s lap, but the inner palace. That the reason why the Raven Consort is confined in the inner palace was because of the decision of Ran Yuu, Jusetsu’s ancestor——

She understood, but all she thought was, Oh, so that’s the case. Jusetsu’s heart had been empty since the loss of her mother. It had been several years since she no longer knew how to rouse her emotions.

She patiently taught a vacant and barely-responsive Jusetsu to read, write, speak, and cook. With each lesson, Jusetsu suffered more. She was angry, saddened, and frustrated to learn how unreasonable her mother’s execution had been, and how ironic it was that she was trapped here. After she cycled through all her emotions, she returned to her anger. She was tired of going around in circles and getting no answers. She vented all her feelings to Reijou. She had no one else to vent them to.

Reijou was incredibly patient, but she was also strict. She sorrowed and fretted, but she never showed mercy.

“It is you who must live.”

It is not me. Pity is of no help to you. Gain knowledge and use your wisdom. You have no choice but to carry out your role to completion. None but you can walk your own path.

―Even now, I feel like I can hear Reijou’s voice scolding me.

“Lady Raven Consort.”

Ishiha, who was transcribing her words, held out the sheet of paper. Jusetsu, sitting across from him, accepted it.

“Mm, you’re a quick learner,” she nodded. Ishiha smiled happily.

They were in Jusetsu’s room at Yamei Palace, where she was teaching him how to read and write. Ishiha could speak without much trouble, but he couldn’t read or write at all. There were many eunuchs who couldn’t write, even if they weren’t from rural minority tribes.

“It is better for you to be able to read and write.”

Saying so, Jusetsu looked after Ishiha. Just as Reijou had taught her in the past.

Not wanting to waste brand-new pieces of paper for writing practice, Jiujiu went around to Enou Palace and Hien Palace to collect scrap paper. Both Kajou and Kouei were happy to give them to her. The papers were written on until they were completely black, and then they were given to Xingxing to play with. Even now, it was playing with a piece of paper at Jusetsu’s feet, ripping it into pieces with its beak.

Putting down the brush dipped in red-black ink, Jusetsu stood up.

“Let us take a break. There should be some figs around here.”

“No, I—” Leaving a flustered Ishiha behind, Jusetsu headed towards the kitchen.

“Are you taking a break, Niangniang?”

When Jusetsu appeared in the kitchen, Jiujiu turned around. She was brewing tea in a kettle. On the other side, Kougyou was preparing the tea utensils. She smiled and gestured to behind Jusetsu. Kougyou was unable to speak because her tongue had been cut out.

Jusetsu looked behind her and saw Keishi entering the kitchen with a strainer in her hands. She lumbered past Jusetsu. She was a large woman with sturdy arms and legs, and was so robust that it was hard to believe that she was an old woman. Her lips were tightly knit in a grim line, but that didn’t mean she was irritated or angry, as Jusetsu had learned about half a month after arriving at Yamei Palace. She had been a little scared of her until then.

Keishi silently held out the strainer. There were ripe, red figs inside.

“Thank you.”

Jusetsu took three figs from the strainer and told everyone in the kitchen, “You can eat the rest,” then returned to her room. The figs had a sweet scent that was characteristic of ripe fruit.

Ishiha was hesitant to take the figs she offered him, but his eyes were sparkling. He was a growing boy, so he could eat two figs in no time at all. Xingxing wanted a fig as well and was making a fuss, so Jusetsu gave it a little of her own. Ishiha told her that this was the first time he ate a fig.

“We didn’t grow fruit in my village.”

Ishiha’s village was by the sea. It was a fishing village.

“When we went to the head fisherman’s house, they would give us tangerines. It was only sometimes, though. They were sour, but delicious.”

I shared them with my siblings and we ate together, Ishiha laughed. He must be at an age where he still missed his parents’ home, but he never showed it on his face. He probably tried not to show it in front of other people.

“Your village is located in Rouko of Gei Province, yes? What kind of fish can you catch there?”

When asked about his hometown, Ishiha always responded with happy gestures.

“You can catch flounder and mackerel there. I used to go on the boats and help with the fishing. When we fish, we use the stars as our guide. Do you know? The southern Rudder Star (1) is used as a guidepost when returning from fishing, and when the Golden Arrowhead star (2) appears, it’s mackerel season. When the Flower Comb star gets dim, that means it’s storm season. When it’s storm season, the village elders would tell us folk tales. Like the story of a great turtle monster from the sea, or a diver whose hand got caught in a big abalone shell at the bottom of the sea and drowned…”

The legends of the distant fishing village were interesting to Jusetsu because much of it was new to her. On the other hand, there were also some tales that were shared with this region.

“There’s also a story about a god who sinned a long, long time ago and was cut up and washed away. His body became the islands we live on.”

“That old tale is the same around here as well.”

It was the type of myth that told the origins of the country. “I heard that these stories were originally told by traveling wubangs. That is why the same stories are passed down in various regions around the country.”

“Is that so?”

“What are you two talking about?” Jiujiu brought a bowl of water. It was for washing their hands. Their hands and mouths were sticky with fig juice.

“We’re talking about the god who sinned——” When Ishiha repeated the story, Jiujiu nodded with an Oh, yes.

“If I remember correctly, the torso of the chopped-up god became this island, his head became Jie Island, and his arm became Bahuang Island… From his dismembered corpse, soil was created and plants and trees grew. It’s a bit of a creepy story, isn’t it?”

It was a bit blunt to put it that way.

“After I heard that story from my grandma, I was afraid to walk on the ground for a while, because I thought it was a dead body.”

Ishiha blinked his eyes. That thought didn’t seem to have occurred to him.

“Many things wash ashore at the seaside. In my village, there is a cove where people who fall into the sea always end up, and I sometimes see people floating there. So I think that’s the way the sea is. I’ve also seen jellyfish-like things floating around the cove, glowing. The village elders told me that those were the souls of those who had died at sea.”

“Huh…” Jusetsu envisioned dimly glowing souls floating on the nighttime sea. A beautiful but sad sight.

When she said, “How interesting,” Ishiha’s cheeks flushed with happiness. After that, he continued to share some unusual stories he had heard from the village elders. Jusetsu listened as she washed her hands in the bowl. Some time later, Kougyou brought them tea and joined the conversation. The afternoon sun shined brightly through the lattice windows, and Yamei Palace was filled with a sense of serenity. It was strange for Jusetsu to hear the laughter of Jiujiu and Ishiha, their chatter, and to see Kougyou’s smile here.

At the same time, it was always at times like this that she felt uneasy. She felt as if a cold hand had suddenly grabbed her ankle. It was as though Reijou was warning her to come to a stop, and Jusetsu was helplessly at a loss.

The visitor came that night.

It was late at night, and even Jusetsu, who went to bed late, was already falling asleep. She was awakened by a woman’s low voice coming from the other side of the doors.

“Ex…excuse me, Lady Raven Consort…”

It was the voice of an old woman. It was a faint voice, as if it would disappear at any moment. On her mattress, Jusetsu moved her head to look for Xingxing. The bird, which always made a fuss when there were visitors, was standing at the foot of her bed, raising its head and looking at the doors as if it was annoyed. But it soon lost interest and turned its head to close its eyes. Sleep, it seemed, was more important.

Jusetsu got up and got out of her bed. She put on only a black robe over her nightclothes and stepped out of the curtains. She didn’t know exactly what time it was, but from her feeling when she got up, it must have been around the fourth watch of the night (one a.m. to three a.m.). It was getting hotter during the day, but it was still cold late at night. As she walked to the doors, she formed a peony on her hand and tossed it into a lantern to light it. It was a lotus-shaped lantern.

“Who is it?”

Jusetsu asked towards the doors.

“My name is An. I have a request to make of you, Lady Raven Consort. Please listen to what I have to say.”

Her voice was old and thin, but her tone was elegant. Thinking that she might be the attendant of a consort, Jusetsu opened the doors. There was an old woman with grey hair standing there. She was wearing an earth-colored palace lady’s uniform. Her grey hair, barely tied back in a small chignon, wasn’t oily, her complexion was much the same as her clothing, and wrinkles were carved into her face and hands like cracks. Her fingers were chapped deeply. She was a palace lady, and a subordinate one who did kitchen work. Jusetsu let the old woman in, wondering if she had been wrong in assuming that she was an attendant. However, the way she bowed and expressed her thanks, the way she walked, and the manner in which she sat on the chair, didn’t suggest that she was a mere palace lady. Perhaps she was originally an attendant, but was demoted to the position of palace lady for some reason.

Jusetsu sat down across from the old woman, An. After waiting for her to do so, An spoke.

“I deeply apologize for interrupting your rest so late at night.”

“I mind it not. I have visitors like you from time to time.”

“I have something I deeply need to ask of you, Lady Raven Consort. I have thought many times about coming to you. However, I have been unable to do so…I have finally made up my mind to come to you tonight.”

The lit lantern on the floor flickered and cast crooked shadows on An’s face. The light didn’t reach the corners of the room, and thick darkness surrounded the two of them.

“What is your request?” Jusetsu asked bluntly.

An lowered her face slightly. The shadows moved.

“It is related to the consort whom I once served. I was the attendant of Lady Sai Enrin, the Flame Emperor’s Magpie Consort.”

As Jusetsu had thought, she was originally an attendant.

“The Flame Emperor—the emperor before the last? That’s quite a long time ago.”

“Is that so? It does not seem like so long ago for me. Rather, yesterday seems more distant. When you grow older, time flies like an arrow, and the months and days pass by in the blink of an eye. But the past is so vivid that everything with Lady Enrin seems to have happened only a few days ago.”

“What do you mean by ‘everything with Lady Enrin’?”

Yes, about her, An answered, but then she hung her head and looked at her hands in her lap, as if reluctant to say anything. Eventually, she looked up.

“At your young age, Lady Raven Consort, you most likely don’t know who the Flame Emperor’s Magpie Consort is or what fate befell her. Even among those around me, there are only a few who remember what happened back then. In those days, people avoided talking about Lady Enrin—in fact, those who sympathized with her were reported on and punished. So even after the emperors changed, people didn’t talk about her very much.”

The shadows sank into the fine wrinkles etched onto An’s face, making her look even older. The gloom that seeped out from there made the surrounding darkness even heavier.

“Please listen to Lady Enrin’s story. If I am gone, there will be no one who will know the truth about her. I want you to know. And—I want you to save Lady Enrin’s soul.”

Please, An beseeched, and then she began her story.

I was twenty-two years old when I began to serve Lady Enrin. She had just turned ten, and she was the apple of her father’s eye, who was the Ministry of Personnel secretary. I was a distant relative, and although my lineage was closer to the main family than that of Lady Enrin’s family, at that time Lady Enrin’s father, who had been promoted to Ministry of Personnel secretary, was the most successful of our family. Naturally, the expectations of the family were focused on him, and it was especially hoped that Lady Enrin would enter the inner palace as a consort. Therefore, she had to be educated and taught manners as befitting a consort, and I was chosen from among the family to be the perfect person for that job.

At that time, I had returned to my parents’ home after being divorced. I was in low spirits every day, but that all changed when I met Lady Enrin.

Lady Enrin was a very lovely young lady. Her smiling face was like a peony and her voice was like clear water. I vowed at that time that I would make the finest consort in this country.

Lady Enrin was a cheerful and carefree girl. She happily read fantasy stories and narrative poems, but she seemed to dislike reading classics such as Lessons for Women or Examples for Women, (3) which should be read by all women and girls. She preferred reading mysterious stories and love stories rather than difficult books. It was a bit of a problem, but she seemed to understand when I explained them to her simply.

As one year passed, and another year passed, Lady Enrin’s beauty became as brilliant as a polished jade. No matter who you were, you couldn’t help but be captivated by her beauty at first glance. Her skill on the zither was first-rate, and she excelled in calligraphy and poetry. The only fault in her was that she was a little careless and didn’t think things through sometimes…but I was proud to think that she wouldn’t be outdone by the other concubines in the inner palace.

However…

Two unexpected miscalculations occurred. The first was the place where Lady Enrin was to marry into. Even though we say that it was the inner palace, her father didn’t intend on putting her in the inner palace of the current emperor—by which I mean the Flame Emperor, but rather the Eastern Palace. After all, the Flame Emperor was already elderly at that time, and he had an empress and children, so the inner palace was of little significance. That was why there were only a few concubines there. So, it was only natural that she be given in marriage to the crown prince.

However, both the empress and the princess consort, as well as their relatives, wanted to Lady Enrin’s marriage to wait. Both factions probably thought it would be a problem if the crown prince were to become obsessed with her, who was reputed for her beauty. Lady Enrin’s father and the relatives of the empress and princess consort were at loggerheads with each other. It would have been good if Lady Enrin’s father had been able to split the relatives up or win their favor, but…it seemed that he had failed to do so. It was a complicated situation.

While her father was busily engaged, there was someone who told the Flame Emperor about Lady Enrin’s reputation. It was probably someone from the empress’s side or the princess consort’s side. That was how the Flame Emperor’s interest was piqued. Strangely, he wasn’t known to be a philanderer, but a devoted husband, and he didn’t seem to have much interest in the concubines of the inner palace, and yet he showed interest in Lady Enrin…Perhaps it is the wavering of the mind that comes with old age. Perhaps he wanted to have a fleeting experience with a young and beautiful girl once more. In any case, the Flame Emperor seemed to have been moved. In such a case, there was no choice for her father but to put her in the Flame Emperor’s inner palace. At any rate, it was a good thing, since we had attracted his interest. Although Lady Enrin seemed to be dissatisfied, I thought it was an extravagant thing. Isn’t it a given that she would receive the emperor’s favor? Even if there was an empress, Lady Enrin was the finest consort. She would be the most glorious. I was working with great enthusiasm to prepare for her entry into the inner palace. And yet…

Lady Enrin didn’t seem at all interested in the whole thing. That was the other miscalculation.

She should have understood from an early age that she was entering the inner palace. Of course, she thought she would be marrying the crown prince, so it was understandable that she was upset. However, even if she entered the inner palace of the crown prince, she has no way of knowing if she would be favored by him. No, even though Lady Enrin was a beauty who no one could resist being charmed by… However, the emperor now wanted her to marry him. There was a big difference. Our victory was already decided. That was how I encouraged Lady Enrin. I also scolded her. She must not be timid and take control of the inner palace, become her father’s strength and become the number one consort——

Lady Enrin seemed to be moved by my words. With tears in her eyes, she smiled and said, Yes, I will think of it that way.

The next day, however, a robber broke in. The mansion was full of gold, silver, and treasures for the procession into the inner palace, so he probably had his eye on us. The mansion was guarded, but he found a weak spot and snuck in.

The robber was alone. He didn’t head for the storehouse, but rather broke into Lady Enrin’s room. My room was next to hers, but shamefully, I noticed the intrusion too late because I was asleep. The robber tried to kidnap Lady Enrin. The storehouse held dazzling treasures, but perhaps he was intimidated by the strict security, or… I didn’t know how he knew where Lady Enrin’s room was, but he tried to take her away with him. I heard their arguing and woke up.

The robber seemed to be whispering something in a coaxing, pleading tone. Lady Enrin’s voice was muffled and I couldn’t hear it, but she seemed to be firmly rejecting him. I had just woken up and was briefly listening to their conversation in a daze, but then I quickly got up. I took the dagger near my pillow and stumbled out to the adjoining room of Lady Enrin. My legs were trembling so badly that I could barely stand, but I desperately shouted that there was a robber, a ruffian in the house.

Servants rushed out from all over the house and the robber was quickly captured. I was shocked when I saw his face under the light. He was someone I knew. No, not only me, he was a young man that Lady Enrin also knew very well. He was a bookseller in the eastern market who had been frequenting the mansion for a long time. He used to secretly bring Lady Enrin the fantasy novels and narrative poems that delighted her. It was not a very large bookshop, but he was a young man who wasn’t vulgar in any way, and he had plenty of knowledge because he worked in a shop that handled books, so I thought he was a fine young man…

Because he was someone she knew, Lady Enrin begged her father in tears to pardon him. It was a kind thing to do. However, he tried to kidnap a girl who was about to enter the inner palace. That was the same as committing a crime against the emperor. If her father showed mercy towards him, he would be suspected of treason. But, he didn’t want to risk any rumors that Lady Enrin was almost kidnapped by a robber, so her father beheaded the young man in the garden. The young man’s parents were informed that he broke into the estate to rob it, and the market officials destroyed their shop and drove them from the capital.

Lady Enrin was in low spirits because the man she had trusted and was friends with for so many years had become a robber, tried to kidnap her, and was finally beheaded. She gazed at the garden where the young man was beheaded and seemed lost in thought… The soil in the garden was soaked in blood, and her father had it replaced. Fortunately, the emperor hadn’t caught wind of this matter, and Lady Enrin entered the inner palace without incident.

Lady Enrin was given Jakusou Palace and accepted as the Magpie Consort. There were miscalculations, but she entered the inner palace without incident. If she had won the emperor’s favor as planned, it would have been smooth sailing, but…the emperor never visited her even half a month after she entered the inner palace. No matter how long we waited, he never came to the inner palace itself. We had heard that he was too busy with building the foundations of the new dynasty to visit, and it seemed that was in fact the case. The emperor of the previous dynasty had only abdicated as a token gesture—no, I’ve spoken too much. Please pretend you didn’t hear that.

However, on top of being extremely busy, apparently his attending eunuchs were deliberately hindering him. They would tell him things like, The Magpie Consort isn’t feeling well today or She’s having her moon cycle. That must not be allowed. I was fretting over what to do. Inward affairs can turn white into black with a single word from the emperor’s eunuchs. I immediately sent a letter to Lady Enrin’s father and asked him to prepare as much gold and silks as he could spare. When I freely handed them out to the emperor’s eunuchs, they told me that if Dajia is in a pleasant mood, he would soon visit Jakusou Palace. That meant they were willing to put in a good word for us. It was shameful for me to bribe the likes of a eunuch to do something for me, but small sacrifices like these were necessary to solve a more pressing problem. It was for the sake of Lady Enrin.

While I was taking great pains to do such things, Lady Enrin only vacantly stared at the garden. I suggested that she play the zither, but she wouldn’t even touch it. Even though I endured the shame of abasing myself in front of eunuchs…

However, Lady Enrin had a small satin pouch that she kept carefully tucked away in her breast pocket. I didn’t know what was in the pouch, but I saw her holding it in her hand while gazing at the garden.

In such a situation, even I lost my patience and scolded Lady Enrin harshly. I asked her how a consort who might receive the emperor tonight could be so feckless and limp. Lady Enrin retorted to me. ——I didn’t become an consort because I wanted to.

I was stunned. I was truly speechless from amazement. What are you saying at this point? I admonished her. I thought she was perhaps nervous about the emperor’s absence, so I gently reminded her of this. I have practically raised her since she was a small child, so I knew her temperament well. The eunuchs promised me that His Majesty will come here soon, I told her.

——I hope he never comes.

Lady Enrin said with a look of despair on her face. I wanted to scold her again with a What are you saying, but I held it in. But then…

——If you love His Majesty so much, then you should be a consort.

I was so angry that I unconsciously raised my hand. I was about to strike Lady Enrin in the face, but I came to my senses just in time. I didn’t hit her face, but I did strike her hand. The satin bag she was holding fell to the floor and its mouth opened. Something that looked like soil fell out. It looked like soil—no, it was soil. I took some and brought it close to my face. It had a smell of iron. I thought it smelled like blood.

——It couldn’t be…

I asked Lady Enrin where the soil was from. She confessed that it was soil from the garden back home. The soil from the spot where the young man was beheaded. She had secretly put the soil, which her father had someone replace, in the pouch.

Why did she hold such a thing so dearly to her? No, it couldn’t be possible. Lady Enrin and that young man were——

I gathered up the spilled soil with both hands and ran into the garden, then scattered all the soil in the pouch on the ground and trampled on it. I stomped and crushed the soil with the soles of my shoes until it became a mixture of soil from the ground and the soil soaked in the young man’s blood. Lady Enrin clung to my legs, begging me to stop, tears streaming down her face. Lying over the trampled ground, she was howling and sobbing.

——Who is this?

Where did the Lady Enrin I had raised go? This wasn’t her. This weeping woman who had given her heart to a bookseller’s son, not the emperor or even a scholar-official, couldn’t be my Lady Enrin.

I was enveloped in a pitch-dark darkness, unable to think anything. I found myself sitting on a couch in a daze. A eunuch came and announced that the emperor would visit tonight. The news finally brought me back to myself. His Majesty was coming. At last, His Majesty. This would surely make everything all right. What happened earlier must have been a dream. I had a daydream because I was so worried that His Majesty wouldn’t come here.

——Lady Enrin.

I had assumed that she was in the rear parlor. However, when I rushed there to tell her the good news, I found the place completely empty. Where was she at such an important time? She had to take a bath and dress extraordinarily beautifully. Should she be in red? Or a youthful peach color? Her hair must be rearranged, her hairpins must be jade, and the hairpin ornaments must be gold——

While thinking about such things, I searched for Lady Enrin. Perhaps she was still crying in the garden. If that was the case, I would have to scold her severely this time. No, perhaps I should soothe her instead. Or should I use my tears to persuade her? ——No, that was a daydream, so Lady Enrin shouldn’t be in the garden.

Lady Enrin wasn’t in the garden. I was relieved. It was a dream after all. There were marks on the ground like it had been trampled, but they were most likely caused by the eunuch who was ordered to cut the sorbarias. That’s what eunuchs are like. If you tell them to cut flowers, they would trample on the flowers right in front of you without compunction. They can only do what they are ordered to do. Sometimes they can’t even do what they’re ordered to do. Trampling on the ground like this, well. I would have to order them to clean it up again—but for now, I had to find Lady Enrin first. I kept in mind that I would order them later and proceeded to the back of the garden. There was a pond there. A beautiful and spacious pond. The surface of the water was always as flat as a mirror and sparkling. All of a sudden, I had a feeling that Lady Enrin’s voice was coming from there. A voice that was cool and pure, like clear water. Lady Enrin, I called out and went to the pond’s bank. The surface of the pond sparkled refreshingly today as well. Willow trees had been planted around the pond, reflected in the pond’s surface. A faint breeze blew, the willow leaves swayed, and there were ripples on the surface of the water. I thought I heard Lady Enrin’s voice again and looked around.

Lizard’s-tails were blooming at the edge of the pond. Half of the leaves were white as if they had been dusted with white powder, and tiny flower buds were hanging down. Near them were a pair of brocade shoes. The brightly colored shoes, embroidered with flowers and birds, had been worn by Lady Enrin.

I ran to the shoes and stared at the surface of the pond. It was calm and quiet, with only occasional small ripples on the surface. I was about to turn back to the palace, then hesitated. I had to pull Lady Enrin out as soon as possible. But I didn’t want this incident to get too big. If the emperor caught wind of this——

However, I couldn’t jump into the pond alone. I threw the shoes into the pond, returned to the palace, and told everyone that Lady Enrin had accidentally fell into the pond. I told the palace ladies to make a fire and prepare plenty of cloth, and sent the eunuchs to search the pond. Because of the clearness of the pond, Lady Enrin was found rather quickly and pulled out. But her pulse had already stopped, and no matter how long we waited, she didn’t come back to life.

A consort had drowned herself before the emperor visited her at night. It would be a disaster if this was exposed. I persisted in saying that Lady Enrin had unfortunately slipped and fell into the pond. No one saw the scene, so if I said so, no one could deny it. Lady Enrin passed away in an unexpected accident. However, that didn’t change the fact that we were inept. The empress also condemned the consort’s, who was preparing for the emperor’s visit, walking by the water’s edge as an unbecoming, rash, and foolish act on her part. Naturally, the emperor was also angry. I, as well as the other Jakusou Palace eunuchs and palace ladies, were punished, and Lady Enrin’s father was also condemned. If a consort was favored, the grace would extend to her relatives, but if the consort was disgraced, it would have a bad effect on them. Her father was dismissed from his position as general secretary in the Ministry of Personnel and demoted to Gaku Province. It was said that he was deeply depressed by the death of Lady Enrin, the apple of his eye, that he passed away at his post half a year later.

I was sent to Sen’e House. It was the place where palace ladies who had committed crimes or fallen ill went, called the graveyard of palace ladies. I have been washing dirty clothes there ever since. Since my hands were constantly soaked in the basin’s water and I had no time to wipe them, cracks opened up on my hands and pained me. Why, just why did I have to keep washing clothes in cold water day after day? If Lady Enrin were still alive, I would not have met with such a fate.

Even if I complain like this, there is no help for it. After all, Lady Enrin is no longer here… As I wash the clothes, I heard her voice in between the sounds of leaping water. A voice like clear water. I would never mishear it. It must be coming from the pond through the water. I can’t make out what she’s saying. It sounds like she is crying. Every day, every day, I hear that voice. There is never a day when I can’t hear it. From between the water, Lady Enrin is calling me. Every time I plunge the clothes into water, every time I scrub and wash them, every time water drips from the wringed clothes, her voice resounded beautifully and clearly.

I feel terribly sorry for Lady Enrin. Her soul is still wandering in that pond. The pitiful Lady Enrin.

Lady Raven Consort, won’t you save Lady Enrin? Please send her soul to paradise.

Please——.

Previous || Index || Next

[tciddaemina]

I actually found your work through your LoZ fic and then stumbled onto your One Piece fics as well and I see that you write for quite a few fandoms. Would you say that you have one particular piece of media that inspires your creativity the most?

while i do dabble in a lot of fandoms, some definitely inspire me more than others. i sort of feel like i have at least one fic in me for whatever i watch/read/play - sort of my response to each story i guess, written out in the form of a fic - but often i do that one story and then am happy to move on. that's how i end up with so many one offs for random different fandoms 😂

that said, yeah, some fandoms are ones that i feel way more inspired by. i could never run out of stories for one piece, for example. it's just so vast a world with such an eclectic, intriguing cast of characters that there's always something to enjoy - and honestly i'm just in love with the story itself. it has a special place in my heart. its a fandom where the vastness and possibilities of the canon itself leaves plenty of room to be inspired, one i've been following for the better part of a decade now.

(oof this got a little long. sorry, you got me waffling. here, i'll spare any poor passers-by with a read more)

loz, in contrast, is another fandom i enjoy a lot, but in a very different way. loz is a lot more cryptic and opaque and the canon plots are much more constrained and simple, but the implications behind stuff when you tease it out is really intriguing and something i like to explore. playing, for example, with the concept that many of the loz games are so similar with repeating characters, settings, and plots makes for some interesting thoughts about reincarnation, cycles of fate, and the cyclical nature of their world, stuff like that. so unlike one piece, where it's the canon content itself that makes me so inspired, in loz its almost the unsaid bits and missing pieces from canon that draw my attention most and inspire me. (stuff like how and why ganondorf ended up being evil, what the actual politics between the difference races are, the implications of what it actually means to be a divine fated warrior chosen by a goddess, etc)

still if i had to try and name one piece of media that inspires me most... honestly thats sort of tough. there's stuff i'm inspired to write for, certainly, and then there's stuff that's inspired on more fundamental level the type of stories i like to tell and how i like to tell them. i'd say some of the most formative inspirational media - the ones that inspired what themes i enjoy, how i approach them, heck, even my tendency to enjoy more intense emotions in my writing and how violence is handled - are pieces of media that i've never written anything for. i have a deep abiding love for some of the more serious ghibli movies for example (princess mononoke and nausicaa) and they've had a big formative experience on the types of stories i enjoy reading and writing. another big formative work for me was a random book i picked up when i was like nine (rumo and his miraculous adventures by Walter Moers - i cannot understate how big an influence this story had on my taste in literature and eventually my writing). a lot of how i write and make stories can be drawn back to my love of those particular pieces of media and the way they handle concepts of emotion, kindness, anger, violence, and inhumanity.

as for the question of whether there's one particular piece of media that inspires me above all else - well, not really i guess. i have no one fandom that i consider my no. 1, though if we go by length of duration i've been in it then one piece probably takes that title. i enjoy playing with a range of settings and characters, and with them a range of themes and tones, and swapping between fandoms lets me work on different stories with very different vibes. some fandoms definitely have me coming back again and again with new ideas, as we can see with one piece and loz (and even nirvana in fire), but on the whole many of the fandoms i enter i'm happy to just visit and pass through.

haha, apologies, this answer definitely got a bit long and out of control. you got me thinking i guess. sorry if the answer wasn't clear cut 😂😂

[dweetwise]

[Riconti] Immortals

For the "Vampire/werewolf AU" square in the Riconti October bingo ❤️ Rating: T | Blood, illness, suggestive Word count: 1.6k ao3 link

The Richters had always been as reclusive as they were successful.

Contrary to popular belief, the family hadn't reached their current status solely through hard work and old money. No, the Richters' legacy could largely be attributed to neither having to eat nor sleep, and possessing a lifespan far surpassing any human's.

In other words, they were vampires.

Felix had been taught to be proud of this part of himself. In certain circles, vampires were considered the most advanced life form, with superior intellect and a body that never grew tired. The Imperiatti were the best example of the vampire elite; an international group of the influential and the revered, pureblood vampires running much of the major cities from the shadows. 

And with Felix's parents having been part of the Imperiatti for centuries, those views tended to reflect in their attitudes. Because when their son failed to fit in with classmates or colleagues in his dozens of schools and careers, Janos and Ursula were quick to brush off Felix's concerns and claim he merely needed to spend time with others of their kind instead of humans—a sentiment which eventually led to Felix forming the Pariahs.

For a long time, things were good for Felix. He had friends and a successful career, with his family's status keeping the Richters protected against the odd vampire hunters, and any questions about their lineage and slow aging silenced with cold hard cash. Blood bag supply was plentiful with the right connections, and Felix had never had to worry about his secret getting revealed.

Until he fell in love with a mortal.

═════════════ ♢ ═════════════

Ace Visconti was thirty years old and a whirlwind of flirty jokes and charming smiles. And though Felix tried to keep his distance, declining invitations and obvious advances whenever they ran into each other in the München night life, it wasn't long until they ended up in bed together.

The same pattern kept repeating for months, until one day Ace was still in Felix's bed in the morning and then he sort of never left after that.

Though Ace was sheepish in admitting he didn't own much more than the clothes on his back and had been living out of a hostel room he shared with fifteen other people, Felix couldn't have been happier. He didn't care about money or empty status—he was simply ecstatic about having this wonderful man in his cold and lonely life.

Naturally, his parents didn't approve. They sneered and looked down their noses, until Felix grew tired of the treatment and pulled away from his family; instead focusing on dating his human boyfriend and dining with his colleagues and actually living for what felt like the first time in decades.

But, as a year rolled by and Ace settled more firmly into Felix's house, as sentiments of love undying (literally, in Felix's case) were professed, and as Felix kept having to sneak behind Ace's back to hide his true nature, he knew he would eventually have to come clean.

═════════════ ♢ ═════════════

When Felix finished speaking, Ace was frowning. "A vampire?"

"Yes. I'm sorry," Felix said in a rush. "My family only ever feed from blood bags and not humans, but I understand that you are afraid—"

"Woah, woah," Ace said. "You mean vampire as in I actually drink blood vampire? Not just I'm inspired by gothic architecture and doodled cathedrals on every surface around the house again vampire?"

"No, the…the first one," Felix said.

"But you go out in the sun," Ace said. "You eat and sleep and—"

"Well, the rumors aren't all true," Felix said. "We can do all the things humans do, we just don't need them. We only require blood to survive."

Ace squinted. "You don't look like a vampire."

"Did you never notice how cold my skin is? How pale I am?"

"I thought that was just because you're German!"

Felix wanted to both laugh and scream. This conversation wasn't going anywhere near how he'd planned. If only he could make Ace understand…

In a stroke of genius, Felix opened his mouth to flash his teeth. Ace raised a skeptical eyebrow, until Felix deliberately let his fangs extend fully: sharp points with a hollow core made for draining blood, the maw of a predator—

Ace raised his hands and his eyes flew wide open. "Woah, okay, right!"

Felix snapped his mouth shut and regret filled his thoughts. There was obvious fear in Ace's eyes, and though Felix had expected this reaction, it finally sunk in that he was going to lose Ace.

"So," Ace said after a beat of silence. "Would this be a good time to admit I have kind of a biting kink?"

Felix blinked. He stared. And when Ace only shrugged and gave a sheepish grin, Felix finally let out a startled laugh.

═════════════ ♢ ═════════════

After that, Ace let Felix drink from him. 

Felix had never fed from a human before. His first attempt was pitiful, barely drawing blood for fear of hurting Ace. But with Ace's encouragement and the sheer amount of trust he placed in Felix to take only what he needed, instinct soon kicked in and it became a regular occurrence.

Felix would have felt bad, if not for the obvious enjoyment Ace was getting out of the act. Felix found it addicting to drink from a human, the man he loved, his mouth full of the unique cocktail of blood that made Ace Ace. And more often than not, with Ace tired and aroused and Felix full of endorphins from a good feed, Felix made sure to make it up to Ace until he was sobbing from pleasure.

But as they settled into what was perfect, on his thirty-fifth birthday, Ace asked Felix to turn him into a vampire.

"Come on!" Ace whined. "I'm gonna be older than you soon."

"I'm ninety-three."

"Yeah, well you look late thirties at most. I'm gonna be an old coot while you'll still be young and pretty!"

"Yes, because you're a mortal. And I'm not taking that away from you."

Felix didn't often talk about the curse of immortality. But he'd suffered nearly a hundred years in solitude, feeling like an outcast both among vampires and humans, watching his immortal friends fade out of his life and any mortals close to him merely age and die. All the while Felix was cursed to wander alone for centuries to come.

No matter what his parents had taught him, Felix would not wish that fate on his worst enemy, much less the person dearest to him.

Ace didn't agree and wasn't shy of voicing his disappointment. Thankfully, it wasn't his decision to make.

═════════════ ♢ ═════════════

Years passed and the signs of aging started showing on Ace.

It was humbling to witness something Felix would never get to experience. He adored the crow's feet and first grey hairs. Though he made sure to tell Ace how beautiful he looked every day, it was obvious that Ace hated aging. He dyed his hair and lathered his skin in creams, dressing himself in even more extravagant clothes to distract himself and others from all new wrinkles and raised veins.

Every year on his birthday, Ace asked for Felix to turn him. And every time, Felix firmly told him no.

Until he didn't.

═════════════ ♢ ═════════════

A few months after his fiftieth birthday, Ace suffered a heart attack.

And it was then, with Ace lying in the hospital bed, delirious with pain medication and in critical condition, waiting for emergency surgery with his face twisted from fear, squeezing Felix's hand and whispering I don't want to go, that Felix realized he would never be able to go on in a world without Ace.

Even after Ace recovered, things couldn't go back to how they were. Having come face to face with Ace's mortality, Felix finally asked to give him the bite that would turn him from human to monster.

He thought Ace might be upset, but Ace merely grinned. "Couldn't you do this before I nearly keeled over at barely 50?"

═════════════ ♢ ═════════════

Ace looked different as a vampire. His sun-kissed skin was dull and bloodless and his beautiful brown eyes now had a red tint to them.

But when Ace laughed, his voice and smile were the same as before. When Felix held him, the same calm settled over him as when Ace was warm and full of life.

"Holy shit." Felix could hear the grin in Ace's voice, could feel the happiness in the way he squeezed Felix in a hug. "Damn, I feel awesome. Thank you."

Felix smiled and placed a kiss into familiar soft hair, knowing that everything would be just fine.

═════════════ ♢ ═════════════

"Aww," Ace complained only a day after. "I just realized what the worst thing about being a vampire is."

Felix tensed with worry. "What?"

Ace pouted. "No more kinky, bitey blood drinking sex."

"I'm—what?" Felix huffed a relieved laugh. "That's what you're worried about?"

"Pretty much, yeah." Ace grinned. "You'll have to show me around the blood bag buffet. Is there a taste difference? I used to be O+ and I've heard from a reputable source that that shit's gourmet."

Felix shook his head with a chuckle and settled in for a few confusing weeks with this new side of Ace.

But that was alright. Because from this point on, they had all of eternity to spend together.

[thehouseofthebrave]

Girl do you really think you can’t die from over heating

I’m going to answer this one in good faith but I’m not engaging in a ton of debate because 1) resources are out there 2) I deal with this in real life and this is where I come to not deal with it.

The simple answer is that’s not what I said. I specifically said fever is not the same as hyperthermia and that fevers are not dangerous. I may have even specifically said hyperthermia is.

Fever is a part of your immune response along the hypothalamic axis trigger by inflammatory markers produce by your immune system. It adjusts your body’s setpoint for “normal temperature” basically to kill off the invader. If you have a functional hypothalamic axis, the fever will not get high enough to kill you. Fevers themselves are not dangerous. A fever of a certain temperature does not automatically mean more dangerous infection. Flu sucks and is know for getting to 104 F and just sitting there. Do you get admitted to the hospital? No. Do you probably sit in the waiting room with 30 other people exactly the same? Yup

In young children, fevers can cause seizures. More often than not, the seizures aren’t harmful if it’s just the one. If an adult has a fever and gets a seizure either the INFECTION they had (not the fever) was significantly concerning and fever was for sure not the only sign they had OR they have an underlying seizure disorder and the fever lowered the trigger threshold.

Doctors tell you to treat fevers because they make you feel fucking miserable, have insensible losses from fluids, and elevate your other vital signs potentially masking more serious underlying conditions. There’s recently been debate about if untreated fevers actually will shorten the course of illness but that’s beyond this conversation right now.

More investigation into the fever gets done if it’s been going on for a long time at sustained high numbers (103 for like 5 days for example) or is days into an illness before it starts or the person has something else underlying. In no instance there is it the fever that is concerning the doctor but figuring out what is triggering the fever. That’s what’s dangerous.

HYPERTHERMIA is not a fever and is waaaay more dangerous and will actually melt your brain. It can be heat stroke, because of a metabolic condition, because of some sort of exposure to a substance. These all cause your temp to shoo up WITHOUT readjusting the body’s thermoregulation like a fever. So your temp goes shooting up uncontrolled, your body is basically panicking and can’t lose heat and all kinds of bad things happen. This is an emergency and you will be likely brought to a trauma room, covered in ice and cold towels, surrounded by fans, given cold IV fluids, maybe even shoot cold water up your butt.

Hyperthermia is fatal. Fever* is not

*unless you have some other chronic condition and your doctor has told you to otherwise respond to fevers differently from how I insinuated, and even then it’s likely because the fever is a warning sign of something more serious and not the fever itself. **

**I am a tumblr blog. I do not know you or your specific health conditions. Please do not get all your medical advice from a tumblr blog

In summary:

If you want to fight about fevers, please go to pubmed and search for fevers. You’ll find plenty of people arguing there with evidence based gripes.

[petluxe157]

Pet Luxe Boutique & Spa –Pet Shop & Grooming service

Contact a friendly Pets First agent whenever you need them, day or night. You can end up saving both time and money by using this method. Remembering this will ensure that they will thoroughly enjoy shopping dog grooming course If you don't see immediate savings, don't write off the component's long-term value. Before you retire, make sure you've thought of everything. You can expect spotless rooms, delectable meals, and impeccable amenities if you go with a first-rate service provider. Another option would be to provide them with a sturdy board. In order to keep clean hands, you and Fido should take turns washing them. Pets First has all the supplies you'll need for this task. You can trust this business to provide reasonable prices for top-notch pet care. By sticking with this service, you've made a huge mistake. Rest assured, your trust in our service will be restored once we've rectified the issue. When it gets warmer outside, you can start taking your pet on walks while cleaning its fur. Embrace the chances that present themselves. This will have no negative consequences.

There will be an abundance of opportunities for you if you are good at seizing them. Rest assured, our spa staff will take care of your cherished pet. The those that really dove into their work achieved remarkable results. Trust the spa personnel to provide outstanding service. You need not be concerned about this promise. We can say this with confidence now that we've resolved your concerns. I mean, come on! You should always give your pet plenty of space to roam and unwind. Breathe deeply to bring yourself to the here and now. Please don't hesitate to contact us whenever you have questions about redeeming this pet grooming discount code. If you're not sure what your pet like when it comes to grooming, we provide personalised services to assist you figure it out. You may wind up saving a tonne of money if everything goes according to plan. Why? To get the campaign rolling earlier than planned, take advantage of our limited-time offer. On the other hand, you could do nothing at all. Because nothing has changed on that front, you can relax. We landed ourselves in this embarrassing situation because our previous plan did not account for the actual cost of honesty services. The results of your decisions are completely out of your control. Our wide range of pet care services is the main reason for this issue. Remember this so you can act more sensibly. This is extremely important in light of recent events. 

All it takes to unwind when the mood strikes is a short horseback ride. We have a large, welcoming indoor space in addition to an outside play area. I implore you to read this if you hold a negative view of kennels. We are writing to formally request that you take action regarding our pet boarding issue, which is rapidly becoming out of hand. If we desire this change to occur, we must maintain our luminous presence. We will have achieved our goal of becoming the market leaders regardless of the outcome. Our dreams can finally come true now. Every ounce of our being is going into this because of how important it is. When you're not looking, Fido can run amok in the garden grooming services I am completely unprepared when it comes to this specific matter. Nothing will change; everything will stay the same. Analysing the reasoning and assumptions that underpinned them occupies a significant portion of the book. The journey will undoubtedly remain etched in the kids' minds indelibly. My assertions from this semester do not necessitate any additional research. The reply is hard to make sense of. Our ability to reach more people will be greatly enhanced by this technique. The outcome of the operation will determine their fate. This is just one example of how decisions made here can have a significant impact. I assure you this is in no way an all-inclusive list. 

We will continue searching for your beloved canines until we receive a response from you. With this agreement in place, you can have peace of mind knowing that your children are protected. Healthcare, social security, and special needs children all have far more serious issues. Our clients may rest assured that we will provide them with first-rate help for whatever size or complexity of project. To satisfy their extensive set of demands, multiple plans are presently under development. There is no going back once our hearts are involved. Your pets will receive first-rate care from our veterinary technicians while you're away. Right now, more than ever, it's beneficial to focus on the here and now and to keep things simple. Put your personal happiness first at this very moment. 

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𝑻𝑯𝑬 8 𝑷𝑰𝑳𝑳𝑨𝑹𝑺 𝑶𝑭 𝑺𝑬𝑳𝑭-𝑪𝑨𝑹𝑬: 𝑨 𝑻𝑯𝑹𝑬𝑨𝑫

♡Physical

Out of the 8 pillars physical this is the most critical one because if there is a lack of care towards this area it can significantly affect all the other self-care categories. For example, if you are ill all of the time you are in no position to be there for yourself or anyone else so this pillar involves includes eating a well-balanced diet. moving your body regularly and getting a good amount of sleep to be able to function adequately the following day.

Here are some ideas that can help you to remain in good physical health:

- Making sure you are eating a balanced diet with plenty of nourishing meals

- Move your body daily even if its for 15 minutes by walking, running or working out

- Drinking water as soon as you wake up

- Getting a good night's sleep the night before between 7-9 hours

- Taking a walk in nature and soaking up the sun for vitamin D

- Having a soothing bath

♡Mental

Mental self-care is about the intentional actions and practices that you engage in to maintain your mental health and well-being. Taking care of your mental health is very important as it contributes to your overall well-being and can contribute to improved cognitive function.

Below are some mental self-care activities

- mindfulness meditation

- journaling

- deep breathing exercises

- Nature walks

- digital detox

♡Emotional

Emotional self-care is about your feelings and understanding yourself and your emotions better. This can be achieved through emotional self-care so that you can truly love and accept yourself exactly as you are. It’s really important to learn how to identify how you are feeling and allow yourself to channel those feelings healthily.

Emotional intelligence can be developed by the below:

- establishing healthy boundaries to protect your energy

- journaling your feelings

- ask for help

- write down affirmations

- spend time alone with no distractions

♡Environmental

This is the practice of taking care of your environment because this can impact every aspect of your life. You need to put yourself in the correct environment to thrive. An environment where you are unhappy can contribute to a decrease in happiness in turn affecting your mental health. Make sure that the environment you are in makes you happy and makes you feel motivated. This is my favourite pillar. The best example I can think of in my personal life is making the bed every single morning. It doesn't matter whether I am busy i will always put time aside to make my bed. Other things could be out of place in my room, but as soon as i make the bed, i feel lighter and ready to go on with my day. Walking into my room already feels less stressful.

Below are some more suggestions for environmental self-care:

- tidying/decluttering your workspace

- decluttering your wardrobe

- setting a calm mood in the evenings

- listening to music

♡Financial

Money can be stressful something however cultivating a healthy relationship with money is essential for your mental health. Having a positive mindset around money is important to eliminate the stress surrounding it. I like to think money flows easily into my life and to make money I need to spend. Whatever I do spend will come back to me multiplied. This mindset i have created around finances has completely transformed how I act an feel towards money. Money is nothing to fear. You attract money and money adores you.

♡Social

Self-care doesn't always mean spending time by yourself. This pillar is about your ability to maintain and build healthy relationships with others. Social connections can help us feel loved and less alone and also help with improving and developing our communication skills. This kind of self-care is essential to our mental health and should be nurtured regularly.

Activities for this pillar include:

- form new relationships

- stay in regular contact with important people in your life

- remove negative people from your life

- set healthy boundaries

- ending relationships with negative people

♡Recreational

This pillar of self-care translates to taking time out for fun where you can just enjoy and do activities that don't require much brain power. This is important as it lets you get away from the pressures of everyday life and simply enjoy the simple pleasures life has to offer.

Activities include:

- find some creative hobbies

- have a movie day/night

- doing absolutely nothing one day and enjoy it and not feel guilty

♡Spiritual

While other aspects of self-care concentrate on fostering mental and physical well-being, spiritual self-care is tailored to nourish the soul, varying for each individual. Engaging in spiritual practices facilitates connecting with your inner self, discovering a profound purpose, and uncovering greater meaning in life. This dimension of self-care offers a space to silence external distractions, fostering internal calm and peace.

Activities include:

- Meditation

- Yoga

- Mapping out your core values

- work on your self-concept