#there's also this one thing that's mostly me-specific

[iraprince]

gonna show u guys a little opalescent highlight hack i threw together today

rainbow gradient above your main figure (i usually have all my main figure folders/layers in one big folder, so i can clip gradient maps + adjustments to it!). liquify tool to push the colors around a bit. STAY WITH ME I KNOW IT LOOKS STUPID RN I'M GOING SOMEWHERE WITH THIS

THEN: set it to add/glow (or the equivalent in ur drawing program), lower the opacity a bit, and apply a layer mask. then u can edit the mask with whatever tools you like to create rainbow highlights!!

in this case i'm mostly using the lasso fill tool to chip out little facets, but i've also done some soft airbrushing to bring in larger rainbow swirls in some areas. it's pretty subtle here, but you can see it better when i remove the gradient map that's above everything, since below i'm working in greyscale:

more granular rambling beneath the cut!

u could also just do this with a brush that has color jitter, but what i like about using layer masks for highlight/shading layers is how simple and reversible it makes everything. i can use whatever brushes i want, and erasing/redoing things is super low stakes, which is great when i often approach this stuff with a super trial-and-error approach.

example: have u ever thrown a gradient w multiple colors over an entire piece, set it to multiply etc, and then tried to erase it away to carve out shadows/highlights? it's super frustrating, bc it looks really good, but if u erase something and then change ur mind later, u basically would have to like. recreate the gradient in the area u want to cover up again. that's how i used to do things before figuring out layer masks!! but masking basically creates a version of this with INFINITE undo bc u can erase/re-place the base layer whenever u want.

anyway, back to rambling about this specific method:

i actually have TWO of these layers on this piece (one with the liquified swirls shown above, and another that's just a normal concentric circle gradient with much broader stripes) so i can vary the highlights easily as needed.

since i've basically hidden the rainbow pattern from myself, the colors in each brushstroke i make will kind of be a surprise, which isn't always great -- but easily fixable! for example, if i carve out a highlight and it turns out the rainbow pattern in that area is way too stripey, i can just switch from editing the mask to editing the main layer and blur that spot a bit.

also, this isn't a full explanation of the overall transparency effect in these screencaps! there's other layer stuff happening below the rainbow highlights, but the short version is i have all this character's body parts in different folders, each with their own lineart and background fill, and then the fill opacity is lowered and there's multiply layers clipped to that -- blah blah it's a whole thing. maybe i'll have a whole rundown on this on patreon later. uhhh i think that's it tho! i hope u get something useful out of this extremely specific thing i did lmao

[dunmeshistash]

I really enjoy your deep dives and analyses of all the characters, and Milsiril especially. I haven't done as much research and investigation as you have, but I have my own ideas about Milsiril. I think she's rather... delusional might be the word? I agree that Otta was probably exaggerating and she didn't actually consider the children that she adopted as pets, but I think that she didn't have what we might consider a normal perception of the children, specifically Kabru.

First of all, she seems to have a bit of an idealization of him that doesn't allow for his own opinions and personality. It's innocuous and not uncommon for a parent, but it feels to me as if she has an idea of how he is, and it confuses and upsets her when he doesn't follow the picture of her ideal world. Her decision to train him when he asks is far from complete acceptance of his goal. What she says is "until you finally decide that you're ready to give up." That implies that her goal is not entirely training him to be ready, but rather trying to convince him that he doesn't want this.

Secondly, I think that there's a lot of symbolism around the dolls. Bear in mind that these are all my own interpretations. First off, Milsiril's love and friendship for her dolls shows her as almost a child-like figure. Her dolls do what she wants them to, but they're people to her. She's a child in her own little world, and the kids she adopts might be a part of that-playmates, just like her dolls are. Bear in mind that I'm not trying to infantilize her or say that she has one, straightforward motivation. One of the things I love about Dungeon Meshi is how complex every single character is. She probably has many driving forces behind adopting children, but it seems to me like this might be one of them.

That's about all I have for her, at least at the moment. I think she might have some underlying mental illness or trauma that's skewing her perception of things, but I definitely don't agree with the people who think she's completely unstable or immoral. Thanks for looking at this!

Hey! Thank you!

Yeah I think the dolls is what lots of people use to say she likes to "manipulate" people or be in charge of them in a way, and I understand the symbolism of a puppet master since she has full control of these dolls and wont deny that might be something!

I'm not sure if I agree with this part tho.

First of all, she seems to have a bit of an idealization of him that doesn't allow for his own opinions and personality. It's innocuous and not uncommon for a parent, but it feels to me as if she has an idea of how he is, and it confuses and upsets her when he doesn't follow the picture of her ideal world.

I think Milsiril mostly can't keep up with Kabru getting older so fast since he's short lived, to me its almost like she sees him as a toddler when he's already a teen. And that's a common issue between long and short lived races so it's not something unique to her.

To me the reason she's so upset seems to be trauma from Utaya tbh. She was there and saw all those horrible things happen, it affected her so much she retired, and Kabru is the only survivor, a small frail child that lost everything and that now she sees like a son. Wouldn't you want to protect someone you see as a small scared child? Wouldn't you be upset if you learned they want to leave the comfort and safeness you created for them to go back into the horrible world that caused all that suffering he went through? I would.

I think people forget she's basically a war veteran.

She might not know him very well especially now that he left home but I think she knows him about as well as moms usually do, if you mean the cake thing I'm pretty sure she was aware Kabru didn't like elf cake and it's just a silly gag about her being upset he doesn't like her hometown sweet. (And probably also to show he does struggle with having two different backgrounds, Utaya and Milsiril) I think she knows he doesnt like it cause Kabru is never fake in front of her in the interactions we see, I'm pretty sure he tells her when he dislikes something and when he likes something. The other proof is how she took him to the family gathering even tho he didn't explicitly ask, she knew he wanted to go cause she knows that's the type of thin he likes.

About this

That implies that her goal is not entirely training him to be ready, but rather trying to convince him that he doesn't want this.

Yeah that's completely right! But I see that as an act of love on her part, even if its misguided and like, not great. She wants to prove to him he's too weak to go on his own because she seems him as a small child. If a 5 year old asked you to teach them to be a soldier so they can go to war how would you feel?

He isn't 5 tho and he clearly COULD take the training. Nothing indicates he ran away from her to be able to go and he talks about how she trained him and helped him study all that he wanted.

So even tho she said something bad and wanted to convince him the world out there was too cruel, she ultimately let go of him so he could do what he needed.

And Kabru even acknowledges she was right, the world WAS as shitty as she described and even worse. When he says he still doesn't want to go back where he has a soft bed and cake I don't think it's because he hated it there, but because he has the determination to face the cruel world she described cause he doesn't want Utaya to happen again.

Again about the dolls I think they're a source of comfort for her, she was clearly traumatized and going thru something her whole life, you don't get nicknamed "gloomy" for no reason, even her fellow canaries bullied her and thought she was weird.

The children she adopts might be an evolution of her doll thing I'll admit. But more in the sense they're a source of comfort for her, she was someone who was alone for most of her life, being able to love and be loved by children is probably something that makes her really happy. Even if her "motives" might be a little weird and she might not be fully altruistic (who is) what she does seem to be a net positive. Considering the two people we know that she helped (Mithrun and Kabru) she successfully helped them become independent of her. They were both vulnerable people in her care at one point but both are now independent and navigating life. (Mostly independent in Mithruns case but he doesn't need her in specific) That's my arguments to why she doesn't really treat real people as dolls, dolls can never become independent of you.

[rampantram]

I've been saving this but I can't take it anymore... your art is super cool!! I love the drawing style you have, especially the lines and expressions. Also the dynamic poses and interactions between characters, everything looks so cute but at the same time exciting to keep watching!! I would read a whole manga with your art in it :3

Curious question: what size are your drawings normally? I see that you draw in pencil and many times there is more than one drawing on a single canvas/sheet so I am curious to know approximately the size of your drawings

I hope you don’t mind me using your ask to say this, but…you guys have no idea how much your kindness and positivity has affected me since I started posting my CotL stuff.

I’ve had anxiety since I was a kid, and depression for almost a decade now, and most recently been diagnosed with ADHD and OCD. I’ve had the most lows in my life over the past few years, and my consistency and drive to draw has suffered for it; at most, I’ve posted every other week, but mostly once every couple of months, and even longer than that until now. Being on medication has affected my motivation to draw, and I’ve been on short-term disability for over a month now, trying out new medications and feeling mostly miserable from the side effects.

Despite all that, I’ve wanted truly to finally be consistent with art, interact with people, try new things, and it’s helped so much to have so many people loving the things I’ve come up with. I haven’t been as consistent this last week, and spotty some weeks before that, but you’ve all been so patient despite that, which is part of the reason I want to give you some transparency and vulnerability on my part.

So I apologize if things continue to be a little less than organized or consistent, but I’m going to keep trying my best everyday, because I want to keep bringing you things you enjoy and want to interact with, so…thank you. 🥹

But getting to your question before I really start to tear up…this 9x12 sketchbook by Strathmore (specifically the recycled paper) is what I’ve been using for my sketches for a long while:

And it typically depends on how big or small I think each of the drawings should be, but I do try to keep them on one page if I can just for organizations’s sake.

Also if I know I need to post it from my phone, I try to make things easier for myself by putting things within proximity of each other with my phone’s camera in mind (not the whole page because it’ll be blurry, up and down since that’s easier for me to take a shot with, and so on).

If I’m gonna scan it, that makes things a bit easier, but I do try to condense them enough so I can try and avoid doing two scans of the same page and having to stitch them together (this one below just ended up taking the whole page, and since most scanners - my roommate’s included - usually only scan Letter or A4 size areas, those I end up having to scan on multiple parts and edit them together in Clip Studio Paint).

But of course, it all comes down to what feels right or works with your own method the best (as long as you achieve the outcome you wanted, the tools and method to get there don’t necessarily have to be the “best” or “right” way to do it).

I hope this helps, though, and that you have a brilliant day~✨

[narcissistcookbook]

I’m going to one of your concerts this summer and I had a question on the sort of expectations for audience participation. As well you know, you have a very poetic, almost spoken word style for a good deal of your songs. Typically an audience member is allowed to and expected to sing along. However for some of your songs, the idea of doing so feels jarring. Is there any clear denotation of what songs we’re expected to sing along to and what songs we aren’t?

I ask because I would like to go to your show and sing along and have a fun time together with other fans, but I also don’t want to disrupt the experience for anyone else.

To use a specific example, I imagine that audience participation for the first half of apple os not the expectation.

Thank you for your time Mx. Cookbook

oh wow! this is such a question

first things first, singing along to the sung bits is amazing and please join in if you feel comfortable!

the first time i played a show and people spoke along with me, i was totally disoriented by it and had to stop. i said something like "oh boy, this is had never happened before! it's so disorienting!" kinda in the hope that people would stop, but they just woooo'd me and kept doing it

i'm mostly glad they didn't stop because after a while i got used to it and it didn't put me off so much. however, i have some observations - first, i think it's usually impossible to recite my spoken pieces along with me in any kind of unison. i change lines on the fly, i change my delivery, i add or remove pauses that make the live performance different from the recorded performance. it's impossible for me to replicate most of recorded spoken pieces line for line live. this means people tend to get confused and lost sometimes, and i worry that that stresses people out trying to recite along with me and i worry it affects the enjoyment of the people who aren't reciting along with me but can hear this hubbub of different versions of the piece around them

i also know some people hate going to see a show and hearing other people in the audience sing along, and i think (depending on the environment) those people have to either stay home or suck it up. i would never want people to not sing along. speaking along though, i just don't know if it's an issue for people. i'd love to find out. poll time!

[sciencelings-arts]

Kill your demons, Kill 'em dead in your mirror, in your bed, in your heart, in your head Don't you look good in red Slay your devils, Kill 'em all, Take your throne, Paint the walls, And if you make it out alive, Hold that bloody head up high

Good in Red

-The Midnights

Artists commentary below the cut

First off, here's the song:

Red version, anyway let's speedrun the symbolisms:

The sword of justice is Apollo and Trucy flavored with the eyes and the diamonds, also the guard is supposed to resemble the scales of justice. There's also Apollo's bracelet and Kazuma's hachamaki, I felt like including a bit of him for the vibes. The halo of stars is used as a crown of immortality which goes with Phoenix's whole thing.

different version of the halo, more sharp and stabby and feathery. Anyway, I wanna ramble about what I was going to do with the background. So, with the theme of 'Kill your demons' I was going to try to include the silhouettes of heads on spears of the people that Phoenix dethroned, like Redd White, Manfred von Karma, Damon Gant, Matt Engarde, and Dahlia Hawthorne. As you can tell, that didn't pan out and no matter how I tried to work it, it didn't look good so I just didn't do it lol. Also, I guess the heads on spears would've gone past the point of being a little too gruesome for me, just in general.

This whole piece is based on one of the many paintings of Judith slaying Holofernes, which is why this specifically takes place in my Fem!Phoenix AU, I thought it hit harder, especially after learning about the version by Artemisia Gentileschi that's implied to be inspired by her own sexual assault. While I followed the versions where it's mostly just 'pretty lady holding a head', her version was more brutal and actually depicting the act of beheading Holofernes which was rad as hell. I just liked the Perseus and Medusa-esque pose of triumph more in the end.

My initial inspiration was Perseus and Medusa but then I stumbled upon the absolute tsunami of Baroque and Renaissance art depicting Judith and Holofernes and I just went crazy. Sure there's the whole vibe of 'cutting off the head of the snake' but there's like one statue of Perseus and it's not very interesting but people really went off on Judith. I love you women committing righteous acts of violence, and obviously, so many painters had the same thought bc holy shit.

And I drew the whole sword of justice and was only a little lazy with the blade because I knew it would be completely hidden

[loustat-0]

Your answer about why Louis and Armand stay together brought something that always made me wonder about the show. Louis is jealous in the show so how come he would not be of Armand and Daniel in the 70s? Is it a way to show that Armand is not the love of his life (unlike Lestat)? Did he have his memories changed too? Has the writing just changed from season 1 to 2? What do you think?

This one will be a long one too . So please bear with me 🙏🏻

1. I hope no one attacks me for this but I didn't buy the " love of my life " of Louis at all . And as we can see even after Lestat is supposedly dead Louis can't get over him no matter how much he tries . On the show in Paris it seems like Armand is Louis's way of distraction from Lestat even though it doesn't work all the time . Not that Louis isn't attracted to Armand no , he's gay on the show and he has quite specific taste in men but Armand is also different feeling from Lestat so he's actually looking to any vampires who aren't like Lestat at all because he's trying so hard to forget him so Armand is that person at least that's what Louis thinks . And he thinks he has a common feeling with Armand about getting hurt by Lestat .

2. And in my opinion Louis isn't the love Armand's either he's his way of having new feelings and trying a new kind of love after a century but a century after Lestat . So Armand also want to forget Lestat and he also resents him and he could be after Louis to get revenge from Lestat . For all we know Lestat could have possibly arrived in Paris even before Louis and Claudia . So Armand knows about them . Even if they arrived in Paris earlier than Lestat did Armand still knew about them and I'm sure he suspected them being Lestat's fledglings . It's still love for Louis and Armand they were together a long time but what if they BOTH tried so hard to forget their relationship with Lestat that they quite became performative love to each other ? Both of them showing a part of themselves that they hated in Lestat?

3. I don't know much about Armand and Daniel possible history on the show yet But according to the the devil's minion chapter in the 3rd book Daniel is the love of Armand's life , someone who accepted his as he was adored him for his beauty and evil , although they had a rough start but they remained a couple for years . A relationship Armand cherished more than anyone else and possibly more than even Lestat because at the point of the book Lestat was in danger in the concert but Armand found Daniel and stayed with him and protected him and then turned him . Unfortunately in the books it doesn't last too long though they separated until the prince Lestat book where they became a couple again but Marius was there too .

4. I don't think Louie would be jealous over Armand's relationships because it seems like in the 70s they're in an open relationship even before that Armand and Louis brought out other men to their relationship and Louis had possibly sex with those men and Armand probably did too and then Armand killed them or probably erased their memories of being with them and left them on their own . EXCEPT FOR YOUNG DANIEL . He probably did something to his memories but it seems like both Armand and Louis kept a close watch on Daniel too . But I think Armand is mostly pretending that Daniel was like another men they had fun with and played with him like a pet and left him to be with Louie . Armand might be jealous and possessive of Daniel though , remember when Louis offered to turn Daniel in Ep 4 in season 1 ?

5 . So I don't think Louis cares about monogamous relationships anymore maybe because the show is going to go into poly direction . OR maybe Louis only have that feeling for Lestat . That fire , that burn , that jealousy . Maybe he's not jealous over Armand's and Lestat and Nickolas relationship because he doesn't know how deep they actually were . He thinks they were both a passing thing for Lestat and maybe he's deeply hurt by that what if he was that too ? 😢

6. I'm not sure who do you mean by having his memories changed too . But if you're talking about Louis and Daniel yes their memories are probably changed or I better say tampered with .

[slackerlifewhere]

random thought #4: no romance

I appreciate that the author doesn't add a romantic subplot for her characters just because they're of the opposite sex.

Like Cage and Taylor who, if this is a tv show, would've immediately been tagged as a couple even if they're just good friends. They're the best of friends who really care deeply for each other and right from the start, I never saw their bond as a romantic one. It's special since they understand each other so well because of their burdens and similar sense of humor. Like imagine how devastated Cage must've been in TBoaH. It must've been like losing a part of herself, her other half.

Yeah, I can see the idea that they can be a couple but it's so nice to see that the author just focuses on their friendship throughout the first part of TCF instead.

Then there's that time when Cale had Rosalyn and Choi Han help out Lock.

Cale clapped once, before pointing at Choi Han and Rosalyn.

“That is why we will pretend that you are the mother and father, or, if you do not like that scenario, then you shall be the older brother and older sister. You two will need to figure out how to protect him.”

- Chapter 30: You

I love the fact that Cale just gives them options to choose from so they can feel comfortable with each other. Especially since he knows they literally just met a few days ago. I also think that they just give off sibling vibes. Like Rosalyn and Choi Han never gave off anything else but friendship or family vibes and it's just so nice to see it happen.

I don't hate romance, okay? I actually love them. That is, when I look for that specific genre. If I'm not looking for it and it's there, I usually feel annoyed. Sometimes, it's not tagged but it still happens in the story.

I just find it exhausting at times when novels or tv shows push for romance when there's no need or no reason for it. Especially the love at first sight trope. That one just aggravates me.

Like they can explore how close two characters are without putting a romantic context to it. In fact, the "romance" that we get in TCF are mostly from Deruth and Violan and from Deruth and Jour. It can't be said it's romance either since the focus on them is about the whole family instead. Other characters never show any sign of being in love with someone either.

And I also love the fact that Cale, the main character, doesn't have a romantic relationship throughout the whole first book. He has no time for one since he's in the middle of a war, he's focused on protecting his friends and family, and he's busy fighting some crazy bastards. He never looked at another person and thought he was in love.

If Yoo Ryeo Han ever adds romance later on, ✨I still hope she doesn't✨, it's easier to accept since I know these characters are close to each other. They've been together since the beginning. They bonded and experienced a lot of good and bad things together. Although it'll be weird to me...

[On an unrelated note: If this whole post looks weird, it's because I haven't slept yet]

[heroictoonz]

king I've been putting off a rewatch of s15-17 for ages do u think its worth it

My instinct is so say no save yourself but like jokes aside I think that’s up to you like, I always said that they gave the RvBs a “bad ending” and that they ruined Tucker’s character post Chorus however, that was back when season 16 was literally first coming out

Flash back here but so when s16 was coming out I was just getting more and more upset with the writing of the show especially and honestly almost specifically Tucker. Somewhere near the end of s16 I stopped watching (didn’t even finish the season) and then after a bit I heard that the next season was gonna revolve around whole new characters

Now this, I only recently learned was weird miscommunication. See I’m trash ass shit at keeping up with news of shit even shit that I like so for the longest time I thought the story of this group I’ve been following since I was a teenager ended at s16 which KILLED me inside so I swore off the rest of the show and vowed to never watch it. Instead I mostly just rewatched Chorus or s1-s13 if I wanted to rewatch the “whole” show. Basically just watching till the end of Chorus and stopping. Every time I tried to go rewatch s15 to mmmaybe finish the show I kept remember how bad things got and kept running away

I’m gonna give some vague spoilers from here on out but it’s cause I do genuinely wanna talk about how I feel having literally only a few minutes ago finished s16 and s17 for the first time

I decided to finish RvB LITERALLY last night like no joke and it’s cause I saw spoilers out of context for s19 and I was like fuck it I need to see what the hell that is show is over anyways might as well finish it. So I am doing that now

I rewatched/finished s16 and fucking hated it. The good parts were Wash being cute and silly and my favorite guy ever of all time and forever. There’s also Grif and this character named Huggins they’re like on god one of my new brotps of all time damn RvB writes some good ass season specific supporting cast cause holy shit man. Also! I liked that Kai was in it! I enjoy Kai so so so so so much! I’ve always wanted more of her in the show! UNFORTUNATELY!

Tucker is so hard to watch. It’s so honest to god painful to watch. Maybe that’s what they were going for I don’t know. But, having now seen season 17 I get what they were TRYING to do I just don’t fully like how they did it.

In s17 Tucker admits to himself that the reason why in s16 he was acting so weird and gross and toxic masculinity “I have to have the biggest and most talented dong in the room at all times or I’ll kms” character ever is cause he was trying to be a leader

It’s sounds stupid and personally I think it IS stupid but now that I know what they were TRYING to write it makes these post Chorus seasons more bearable.

Basically, Tucker spent all that time in Chorus forced to be a leader. Once he finally got comfortable in the position of one Chorus no longer needed them. He wanted to keep being a leader keep feeling like a leader and it went to his head. He tried acting cool and tough and macho cause that’s what he thought a leader was and he says this! Out loud he admits all this to himself in s17! And honestly? That’s SUCH a good fucking concept it’s super fucking interesting and I really dig it plus with Tucker FAILING at being the leader it gave Donut well deserved character growth. I’ve always hated how sidelined Donut got compared to the others cause I’ve always liked him but s17 is definitely Donut’s season and to see him finally get screen time and respect and also have genuine moments of connection with the others was honestly really fucking awesome

So, do I like s16? God no. Do I recommend it watching it? Hard to say. You have to watch it if you wanna finish the show. Is finishing the show worth it? Honestly I dunno yet I haven’t seen 18 or 19 so it’s to be seen rn. But s17 where not perfect was definitely better than 16 and gave better insight on what they were trying to do. I don’t like the execution I don’t think it was as done very well but I like the ideas I like what they were attempting

S15 I admittedly do not fucking remember at all cause again it’s not a season I’ve rewatched more than maybe twice cause I kept stopping cause I just did not wanna deal with what I knew was coming. And I know me I know myself I know if I tried rewatching the show from the start or even s15 in an attempt to finish it I’d ever fucking do it so instead I just started from s16 and went forward

I don’t remember out right hating s15 but similar to the above I think there were good ideas and not all of them were perfectly done in writing. Also there’s this like really cool interesting thing that is about Tucker that then ends up being a stupid child support payment joke and that sucks so much it makes me so burningly livid I don’t even have a joke here it just makes me mad

But! It brings in the concept of other reds and blues other soldiers that were left in the rubbles of project freelancer which is super interesting again I think they coulda done more with specific parts of it and the “Tucker doesn’t pay child support for the buncha kids he fucked into existence” joke sucks especially when they CONSTANTLY SHOW HIM AS A VERY DOTING AND LOVING FATHER it’s fine I’m not mad I’m not bitter I promise

But uh yeah honestly if you like the show a lot I say watch it even if it sucks. Some of my biggest special interests are GARBAGE shows with writing so bad it makes me wanna commit actual arson. But, I love the characters I love the settings and I love what could have been maybe that’s why I always keep sticking around in stuff like this lol even if it sucks I like to imagine what could make it better cause I love it! And if I didn’t love it I wouldn’t care to put as much energy into wanting it to be better as I do! That’s the same with RvB! I wish it was better I wish SSOOOO BADLY that it was better but it’s cause I love it so fucking much not out of any sort of hate if that makes sense?

Idk tldr it’s up to you and you might suffer a bit but if you love the show I say go for it

Aaaand it’s 2am and I read ur ask wrong I thought that said “watch” not “rewatch” but? Points still stand I’m the kinda person that will rewatch even the seasons I hate to remember why I like the ones I love (I’m looking at you Ninjago season 3 you hot fucking garbage that I’ve sadly seen more times than I would like)

[olderthannetfic]

https://www.tumblr.com/olderthannetfic/751011464262860800?source=share

Seeing the numbers compared, I realized that you are right, anon. It's a privilege to be able to write long fics, regardless of them thinking they're unable to write short fics because short fics are mostly scenes so it's not that long fic writers are incapable of writing short stories, deep down, they don't want to. Maybe it feels wrong for them since they've made an impression they always write long fics, maybe they find short fics less impressive, or believe that people won't give the same feedback as when they post something longer.

But I would like to argue that longer doesn't mean it has a plot. I've read 80k words of a character getting tortured with no chance of figuring things out or getting out of that situation and ended quite the same as the start. I've read 25k fic of characters just hogging. These fics have no stakes, no crisis, no buildup, no development, nothing just series of the same scene over and over with different sets or different positions.

Fanfic is free and that is why you encounter things that are, in a way, out of the box and technically are not allowed in the publishing world. But that's the beauty of it. Is it really that big of a gap for people who can write long fics vs people who can only write short fics? Because of how free fanfiction is, most things are okay to do, including only being able to write plotless or short.

One reason why I get jealous of other authors who manage to write longer fics than me is because I was too busy at the time. I found a good system for myself (dedicating a certain time to finish a chapter and then uploading them as I edit and so on) and you can build your own. I think with the right system, anyone can do it.

Pantsers, plotters, and hybrids are equal to me and it's true because how do you know that a person didn't just recycle the same plot they use from their previous fics, thus being able to write different versions of that story? We've seen the viral meme abt fic writers recycling the same thing and a lot of people admit to doing it. Does this mean they're mediocre or bad writers? It's not like that's against the TOS or illegal. Nobody paid us to keep making fresh new ground-breaking stories. The quality of a fanfic is decided from how you treat it. Do you still like it even after five years? Do you think about it sometimes? Do you feel so ashamed you'd rather put it in an anon collection or close your acc completely and orphan it? Do you wish for it gone to the point you delete every trace of it?

It's not from the amount of kudos, hits, or comments, tho yes it is easier to find good ones if you filter by kudos but there are lots of underrated ones and I've DNF a lot of fics that are not to my liking but have high-kudos because people keep rec-ing it. I want underrated fics to be more popular but not because it needs to be popular but because I hope to be in a community with more like-minded people. Fanfic has no publisher, we can't earn from it so traffic is merely informative so it's the community that matters the most.

In fact, to tell you the truth, after 17 years of being in ao3, I've curated my tag very specifically and stopped using the fandom tag and went straight to the ship tag. I also mostly rely on bookmarks, private collections, word from mouth of people I trust or believe to have the same writing style and taste as me. So it was very niche and limited.

Lots of stories have plots but not all must be in your favor so you gotta figure what you like to start. Are you team canon divergence or AU? what trope do you like? Telling someone to stop comparing is ineffective. We always compare because that's how we communicate. But people feel inferior because they don't feel worthy of themselves. If you start to know what you want, it's easier for you to write more. Whether you're still stuck on making 1k-2k, etc, at least you don't waste your time feeling sad or down and you keep writing. That'll help stimulate your brain and you will improve.

(Also maybe just don't listen to authors who you think are humblebragging. Mute or block them if you need to because I know, to some people who are in the same fandom, these types of attitude have more context to it. Idk abt anon, but in some cases maybe they were moots or the account was owned by another fan they've encountered on tumblr or other social media often, a BNF maybe, or just a popular author that other fans praise or talk about often, and things could get personal. Shit can go south quickly in the community tbh)

--

There's definitely an art to condensing one's thoughts into only a few words.

[destiny-in-the-universe]

RC9GN Commentary + Thoughts

my current and ridiculous hyperfixation on RC9GN is dominating my entire life, oops- but basically, this is mostly me once again testing the waters of not only a potential fanfic with a reimagined/continued-fanon season three and beyond but before i start

Here’s my general commentary of the show!

For starters- Randy is so neurodivergent-coded? He has ADHD, and I feel if his actions in the canon are viewed from a more ND angle, a lot of his behavior makes so much more sense to be honest; he stims, he doesn’t exactly think before he acts sometimes (and it’s only later - once he’s truly thought about his own actions - that he finally realizes he could’ve messed up), he gets overstimulated, and on another thing- he definitely has displayed signs of not only rejection sensitivity dysphoria but he also looks for others’ approval - not in the people pleasing way, he wants to be noticed and he can’t exactly get that

The show can be mature- and it shows in certain moments. Howard‘s beef with the Nomicon is genuinely legitimate, and we see he hates and despises being alone - he’s not socially anxious, but he does seem to only have Randy as his friend; though could it also be tied with Howard just being so used to having him as company that not having him around just gets a little distressing? They were friends from literally three years old- maybe it’s the knowledge that Randy’s now faced with this life-threatening role?

Another thing! The whole thing with the First Ninja (part of the commentary and thoughts of this post) having lost his entire family at the hands of the Sorcerer? That has got to have developed some serious ptsd and survivor’s guilt- it could explain why he’s so strict and rational and attempts to be this mediating figure but also suddenly gives up and loses his temper (like- if his soul is in the nomicon, then has he had proper contact with people? He’d have been completely isolated-)

Going off on “Finja” (though i seriously need to give him a name-), his official introductory episode could’ve gone so much better? Like. I get it, why he seemingly gave up so quickly but also- I think he sees his younger self in Randy and that’s why he could be harder on him, but going back on the last point; “Finja” has gone through so much - even if it isn’t inherently canon - and goodness me, I wish we could’ve seen more of his character- and the idea he’s Randy’s ancestor? Hello?

Massive Commentary incoming!

The Norisu 9 is such an interesting concept- I want to know more, but for that I need to write it; who were they? They were a clan- could they possibly be brought back as other ninjas that fight alongside the Ninja? (AKA Randy) If that’s the case though, wouldn’t it have been mentioned beforehand? Then again- this is entirely fanon. Maybe it’s only in specific moments; like we all know there are eight other realms - apart from the Land of Shadows - that Randy would’ve had to face. Imagine just-

The Norisu 9 are carefully chosen, and that’s likely why they weren’t seen before? Maybe it was thought the bloodline vanished- or only show up when fighting against specific threats like, say, the Sorceress- but now I have to figure out who would be the rest of the Norisu 9? Off the top of my head, genuinely- Debbie should be one of them (a theme of dark purple? But seriously- I feel they all have a select set of powers) - i can’t fully explain my thoughts right now, but also Theresa? Like, they definitely have certain qualities to be ninjas- though that still leaves six more people-

Also like, I really want more on the tengu and the ninja? I have a lot more dedicated to the fanon season three and this is only one part of my thoughts but- i keep thinking about the one episode where tengu! Howard (in the time travel/season one finale episode) was hurt and it affected Randy; like this has so much potential? Like just imagine the angst that could create- or even if Howard was permanently linked to the tengu, and he developed powers and things went a little… south - there is going to be so much I’m going to explore with this tbh

I need to dedicate an entire nine post thesis purely dedicated to my attempts at interpreting the different realms that Randy would have had to face if the show wasn't suddenly cancelled, oh my god

Another thing- the Sorcerer had so much potential as a villain; it's basically what he could have been if the show wasn't posed so much as a lighthearted action-comedy, but this is also a topic for another day. The amount of brainrot I've been dealing with is so ridiculous, someone help

[dawns-beauty]

hey there! i wanted to ask you some more mod questions :) do you have any go-to mods you prefer for character customization? not necessarily ones for the same playthrough. this could be skin textures or cool presets or racemenu things. hope you’re having a wonderful day <3

Hi! Oh-h-h man, I use a TON of these mods for NPC design alone

Get ready for a big 'ol list of as many links as I can post XD Hopefully some of it is new or interesting to you!

First off, some QoL RaceMenu things:

Another Race Menu Rotation Mod - you spin me right 'round, baby, right 'round, like a record, baby...

Stand Still in RaceMenu (OAR) - mostly useful if you open RM after initial character creation, like me. Stops your character from moving, though it takes a little bit to happen for me

RaceMenu Overlays (my beloveds)

Freckle Mania 2 (works fine for Skyrim SE)

Lamenthia's Marks of Beauty

Skin Feature Overlays

Vanilla Warpaints Absolution

Koralina's Freckles and Moles

Koralina has also done some nice makeup mods, and Makeup Mods - Male Support has some invaluable patches for them and more

RM Sliders

Another type of mod I use from practically everything is Expressive Facegen Morphs. I tend to use the version packed into High Poly Heads most of the time, but if you just use the default heads the original mod is worth it. The amount of nice, subtle face sliders it adds are just *chef's kiss*

ECE Ear Shape Sliders for RaceMenu is a new one to me, but I am never going without it. It allows for waaaay more (and better!) ear shape variations than RM alone.

More Scars Slider adds a nifty way to layer different scar types. I highly recommend the Northborn Scars patch.

Hair

Mild Hair Colors is a nice replacement for vanilla hair colors.

I feel like I use every non-SMP hair mod in existence, and only like bits and pieces of each lol.

High Poly Vanilla Hairs was my standard default hair replacer (and I still think it is unmatched on braided styles) but I'm also using Vanilla Hair Remake more and more.

Beards

I like vanilla mashups more than completely new stuff like Beards of Power, so really just use Beards, SV Beards, The Art of the Beard, and Blackbeerd's Beards.

Brows

Kalilies Brows - offers some less perfectly plucked options

Blackmoon's Brows

LM's Eyebrows SSE

Body Textures

Right now for body textures I'm using Tempered Skins for Males, due to the fact it has an option without insane muscles (even has a smooth, ab-less abdomen!)

For the ladies, I'm using Reverie - Skin. I think the body textures are a little on the smooth side (pore/wrinkle-wise) for my preferences, but the elf face textures preserve the brow ridge, which I LOVE. With it, I also like Female Bosmer Normal Map Fix.

For race-specific stuff:

Khajiit

For Khajiit, I use Lioness Look (textures only) and Khajiit Male Lion Textures.

LM's Beast Teeth - excellent teeth for Khajiit and Argonians

3D Khajiit Brows

I like to use Khajiit Overhaul heads, though the default male head is pretty funky, so I use this preset as a base.

Separated Khajiit Earrings for Character Creation lets you add earrings to any Khajiit hairstyle

K.C.C.E Khajiit Character Creation Extended - like EFM for Khajiit: offers a whole lot of sliders

Orcs

For Orcs, I like Closed Mouths for Orcs, but if you like the bigger teeth default look, I recommend Orcodontist.

I also made a mod for making orc horns horn-colored and more.

Bosmer

For Bosmer, you can't beat Cuyi's Bosmeri Antlers (and perhaps Sharpened Teeth.)

Argonians

Probably my fave Argonian hair mod is Hott Argonians with Argonian Feather Hair (Hairstyles only.) It has awesome unique feather textures. I also like to use my whole series of Argonian mods XD

Argonian Creation Extension is like K.C.C.E. but for Argonians. Good stuff!

Color Matching Feathers for Argonian Tails

Kabu's Argonian Fins

Argonian Face Horns

Dunmer

Dunmer Scarification - I have some hesitation about recommending it, because right now the compatibility with different skin types isn't great. But! love the idea and hope to work with it in the future.

Bodies (nudity warning)

YMMV, I haven't tried all these in game, but I want a spot to save them anyways. I would like to set up the mod (AutoBody?) that uses presets to add variety to NPC body types at some point.

Tested and approved:

Argonians Are Not Mammals

Female Hands Redone

The Common Guy

Realistic Body Presets - CBBE

CBBE Barbarian

Untested:

Himbo Fat Preset

CBBE - Hefty Mama

CBBE Bodyslide Preset - Warrior Woman

CBBE Rugged

(If you know of any other good body presets for variety (especially male ones), lmk)

[autisticrosewilson]

Todd Family Tree pt. 1

I know you guys have been waiting with baited breath for this (Read: no one but me and a handful of select mutuals care), but fret not because it's finally here.

Let's start with the side of Jason's family we know the most about, Willis's. A lot of things I'll have to say about Willis himself will be things I've said before with maybe some new additions, but a lot of the focus will be on his relationships with his family anyway so hopefully it won't get too repetitive.

Someone on my last Todd Family post commented that the Ma Gunn aspect may have been retconned, however I already integrated it into my personal canon so let's just keep going shall we?

Also shout-out to @perseus-jackass who let me ramble to them about all of this and helped me iron out some of the finer details!

The Todd/Gunn Family; Canon:

- Willis reportedly named Jason after his father, Jason Todd Sr.

- Faye Gunn II is the niece of Willis which implies Willis has at least one sibling that is never mentioned, although Faye was either raised by or very close to Ma

- Faye was named after Ma implying that whichever sibling she was raised by was close to Ma

- Assuming Gunn is her maiden name, or perhaps an alias, she didn't keep her husband's last name and Jason Sr. Is never mentioned, which could mean that they split or that he's dead

- Obviously from a meta textual stand point the reason Ma Gunn was never mentioned as Jason's grandmother is because it was a later retcon, but in universe this and Willis's choice to keep his father's last name implies he wasn't fond of his mother/was closer to his father

Sub note: The candidates for Jason's mother included Lady Shiva (I'll get into my thoughts on her in Part 3) and an Israeli woman. Edit: @ammomancer informed me that Jason was Spanish (Basque specifically) in the Bombshells continuity as well!

- Ma was implied to be from Australia, and likely taught there for a time.

- Ma implied that she had sons, and possibly that they're dead. (I have obviously disregarded this, but I'm not against the interpretation that one or both of the girls are trans.)

So my version of Jason is black/Asian/Latino! I think he's Japanese/Indian from his mom and black/Latino from Willis so keep that in mind.

Fleshing Them Out; My Expansion:

I'll start with Ma Gunn, since we see the most of her in the comics and she has the most groundwork laid for her already. Mostly I'd like to make her a little more complex.

She's proven to be a ruthlessly pragmatic character, but I don't see her being someone who does what she does for fun. She's someone who values control, someone who doesn't take perceived slights lightly. I imagine growing up a woman on Gotham's streets with so many relations to organized crime builds grit, spawns bitterness and hate. She seems like the type to value tradition - in the Gotham crime family way- this is how she was raised and the way she raised her own children. There is no changing the world they live in, only surviving it. I think she really wanted to teach her kids, both the ones she birthed and the ones she fosters, how to survive.

That's not to say she really cares though, I don't think she's close enough to anyone to really care, even if maybe in the early days of motherhood she wanted to be. She's a stone cold bitch and she's proud of it, she made her kids strong and look at the reputation it's given her. Ma Gunn's school for wayward boys isn't just for strays anymore, there are some big names dropping their brats off for training these days. Crime lord daycare. Truly, only in Gotham.

Jason Todd Sr. Is a non-character. We know basically nothing but his name and that his marriage failed, and he's probably very dead. Which may or may not be related to said failed marriage.

Do I think Ma hired a hit on her husband? I wouldn't put it past her. I think she'd get rid of anyone if they were dragging her or the family down.

We can assume he was close to Willis, and I like to think that Mr. Todd was the homemaker because I can't really imagine Ma staying home to tend the kids. It's more likely her version of family bonding was a bank heist. Willis may have very well learned to drive from high speed car chases.

I think it would be very funny if Mr. Todd is from some third or fourth rate crime family that's using a mechanic shop as a front but Mr. Todd was actually really interested in it so he got an engineering degree and had little to nothing to do with the actual crime side of things. Maybe his family married him off to make him someone else's problem and while the Gunn's aren't a notable crime family they have a lot of resources and a lot of contacts, not to mention the small army of feral children.

Ma thought she was getting a seasoned criminal to help fund her illicit activities but instead he's a stay at home dad who has turned their home into a board game because he insists on fixing it all himself (if you use the microwave the doorbell might ring and you need a screw driver to use the shower ect.)

A lot of the experiences I associate Jason having with Willis I imagine Willis had with Mr. Todd, doing homework together, working on cars in the garage, Willis definitely learned how to cook from Mr. Todd because I just don't think Ma can do better than hamburger helper and public school lunch.

For the sibling situation, and I have no real evidence canon has completely left the building with this one, but I think he has sisters. Middle child Willis and also boy who grew up with all sisters Willis is real to me for reasons I couldn't say.

Completely made both of them up, but this is my house I can do what I want.

I'll start with the oldest sister, who I've decided to call Celia. I think she's the closest to her mother, the one who took over after her. Probably a serious, studious kind of person, she grew up with more opportunities than Ma did so she probably had more schooling. I can definitely see Celia as someone who worked her ass off to bring home good grades to make her mom proud and always falling short because Ma didn't really value traditional education.

Her and Willis definitely clashed growing up, Willis never liked Ma but Celia idolized her. Where Ma's crude demeanor and distance drove Willis to acts of rebellion it made Celia even more desperate to please.

Although I'm sure Willis would deny it, I think it's still a sore spot to him that Celia's way kind of worked. Once she got old enough to really learn about the business Celia was great at it, Ma started coming around to the benefits of having someone better with the numbers and paperwork.

I think that even after Willis leaves he genuinely tries to keep in touch with everyone, I don't think he ever stops trying to reach out to Celia. I don't think he agrees with who she became even if he saw it coming, regardless of how much he doesn't like their mother (he'd never say he hates her) Celia is still the girl who put bandaids on his scraped knees and let him crawl into her bed when he had nightmares and he can't bring himself to cut contact with her.

Celia is nicer than Ma, more adept at caring for the kids and because of this she earns their trust more which ultimately makes them more loyal to the Gunn's. This is a purposeful tactic because although she does see the kids as her own she doesn't see anything wrong with manipulating them for her gain. They're family, and family always want to help each other.

Jason was not allowed to visit his auntie, and didn't even know his grandmother was still alive.

I don't think she'd have a husband or boyfriend, a romantic relationship would take too much attention away from her business and if there's one thing she learned from her mother it's that a man would only drag her down or try to control her.

Willis is, to the surprise of no one, is who I have the most to say about but I'll try to keep it brief. For all he gets a bad rep I think he's a family man at heart, I'm positive he always planned on kids even if he wasn't sure about settling down with anyone at first.

Mostly because his mom kept trying to arrange marriages which is how he ended up dating Sheila for a time...which obviously didn't work out. One could say he wasn't keen on a repeat performance after that fell apart.

Man whore I fear, Gotham's fourth most bisexual man. Where's that one post about the goon who causes a distraction for his boss by making out with the bank teller and his wife. That's literally him Willis Todd ghost wrote that post. I'll get more into his various relationships in Part 3.

This man was born to tell dad jokes and wear funky ties but he's forced to live a life of violence and crime. Because of poverty and generational trauma.

I think the most tragic part of Willis Todd is that he tried. He loved his wife and he loved Jason and he gave everything he had to providing for them so Jason wouldn't have to grow up like he did but it ended the same anyway. And he'd never be disappointed in Jason, although Jason thinks he would, because home knows his son and he knows Jason wouldn't do it unless he really thought he was helping people.

I know everyone holds the opinion that Catherine was the most serious about Jason's school but I argue it's Willis, Cathy taught Jason to love learning but Willis taught him the importance of it. I think Willis always got good grades but he never went to college because part of ditching his family was ditching their money and most of what he made went towards supporting himself.

I've named the youngest sister Joan, and I think it's important to define her relationships more than her personality for reasons I'll get into in a bit.

For continuity's and sake I'll say she was a pre-teen when Willis moved out at 18-19, which would give her a large gap between both Willis and Celia - who I imagine are maybe two or three years apart - age wise. So while Willis likely tried to take care of her, to influence her away from their mom and sister, I don't think he was super fond of being at home to begin with so I don't think he was around much and I think Mr. Todd died not long after she was born so she didn't really have the gentle hand that Wills did growing up.

This left her with little to rely on but Ma and Celia, it was a real rock and hard place. Ma is honest in her ruthlessness at least, but Celia uses her love as a tool for manipulation. I'm sure she grew up right beside the other kids at Ma's school.

So I think it's no wonder that when she found herself with a baby she had no clue how to take care of, it was very easy for her mom and sister to convince her to give the baby over. Easy for Joan to decide that her daughter was in better hands with Celia as her mother.

And then Joan...vanished. No note, no phone call, no body. Most suspect it was Ma who did it, even though the woman had her kids - former and present - rip the city apart looking for her. No one knows the full story, and no one knows Joan Gunn's whereabouts.

Well, no one except Willis Todd, not that anyone else knows that.

Faye Gunn II has a lot of potential. I think there's a chance for her to parallel Jason. They both grew up on the streets and both have affiliations with organized crime, but where Faye is comfortable perpetuating the cycle of violence expected of the Gunn women Jason spends every night busting his ass to make sure another kid never has to go through what he did.

I also think it would be fun if maybe Faye wasn't entirely human, y'know give her a little bit of meta gene as a treat. Beast Boy isn't using the name Changeling anymore and I've long subscribed to Gotham operating by faerie rules so maybe she can borrow it for a few issues.

I don't have many thoughts on her as is but I'd like to do more with her in the future!

This got really long and I'm certain it will only get longer with the next additions. The next part will focus on the Clemens/Johnson family! Catherine Todd lovers stay tuned for part 2. Remember that all of this is just how I view them based on the cookie crumbs we get about them in canon.

[fuutaprotectionsquad]

you guys ever think about how. how in the beginning of Milgram, Jackalope was like "you can vote however you want, you can vote someone innocent just because you think they're pretty. it doesn't matter." And despite how hard we (or atleast me, but i imagine most of us) try to vote objectively and not succumb to the bias he expects of us, we do. Our votes are all biased because fundamentally, law and sin itself is built off of emotion, which is the root of bias.

And thats what causes such a debate in the Milgram fandom over verdicts: bc even though we think we're thinking logically, we're not, we are biased. Our biases don't overlap, though, and thats why we can't agree with each other. And on top of that, we are rigid in our biases. We are stubborn, we refuse to see subjective things from other points of view, because we can't. Opinions are hard as fuck to change.

Hence why the Amane debate, despite infuriating me, is subsequently my favorite. Neither side is right or wrong, no matter how much I think I'm right or other ppl think they're right. Its subjective what age is too young to be held accountable for your crimes, its subjective whether or not you should be blamed for the abusive ideologies you were raised under. And I could rant all day about why I believe one thing or the other, and I can get really mad at people who disagree, but its subjective. Just as the sole fact that Amane's cult teaching are bad is also subjective. Murder being bad is subjective.

People trying to change the prisoners' opinions using their verdicts is biased just as voting them based on our own opinions is also biased. We are trying to force our own beliefs and opinions on prisoners who have different ideas of whats right and wrong.

Es cannot see any of this. Most of the prisoners do. We see it mostly with Yuno, Fuuta, Amane and Kotoko, who criticize/take advantage of Es' god complex. Meanwhile, Haruka and Mahiru invite Es to decide for them (i think haruka does??? i dont fully remember). Muu and Shidou are both initially opposed to it, but become more willing to follow Es' verdicts because it benefits them. Even though Shidou's a little hesitant to see himself as innocent, he starts to. Kazui attributes Es' verdicts to a lack of knowledge on his situation, with the ideology that only his opinion on it matters, because he's the only one who knows the full story. Mikoto's kinda just confused (understandably). And don't ask about John idr.

Anyway I could rant for hours about how the specific prisoners act towards Es in regards to their verdicts + milgram fans' voting ideology + the philosophical undertones of milgram. Technically i did cuz this took 2 hours to write. But. maybe another day.

[scratch-house]

i'm just a shot away from you.

sketch here and here.

hihi! long time no see! i'm gonna infodump about this piece down here.

so when i first started drawing, i focused really heavily on lineart. i was super into finding my "style" in terms of how i would stylize faces and bodies. my coloring style was kind of an afterthought and wasn't really in the place i wanted it to be, so this is me kind of experimenting and trying to go wild in that department.

i think the reason for my years long art block was perfectionism. specifically for digital art, i was very focused on making things pristine and clean looking. i mean that may or may not be obvious from my more recent pre hiatus art, i don't remember, but 😭 mentally that was the issue. i used to always like my sketches more than my lines, and at a certain point i was like, i may as well just have the lines be really sketchy and irregular and chunky or edgy in parts because i seem to be drawn to that, and clearly this precision thing isn't working out. i'd definitely attempted that at other points, but i hadn't really committed and was never really confident about it before now. i think ultimately i just had to reach enough of a 'fuck it' point before i could do it. it's a similar philosophy with the coloring and shading. i'm just letting all the textures and irregularities come through without worrying too much

the idea for the piece changed a LOT. like i started sketching and attempting to color this well before my art block, and i've only just finished it. initially, the doctor and the master were wearing their normal clothes and were holding daggers to one another while locked in an embrace, so the idea was like, the closer they get, the deadlier it is. for some reason i just couldn't get that to work? at some point i gave the doctor navy wings, so there was almost an angel of death thing going on (think the master asking her to kill him), but eventually i went for this! there's still kind of the erotic element with the master straddling the doctor and her Thrusting up, but now they are fencing, and the weapons are a little more front and center instead of hidden, as they were initially. i don't know how obvious it is, but what's happening is the master seemingly has the doctor pinned, both physically and with his rapier, but as she thrusts up, she actually moves his face closer to her blade. his hand on her elbow looks like it's part of the pin, but actually he's trying to stop himself from getting cut more. this thing of the master looking like he's winning, but the doctor actually holding the deadlier (though not necessarily better) position was very important to me, i don't know why. it was a feature of all of the sketches, although in the dagger sketches, there was an element of the doctor's blade being more hidden than the master's, ie in the embrace, the master (facing her) has an arm wrapped around the back of her neck with a blade at her throat, and she wraps her arms around him with a blade pointed directly at his back. you are going to have to figure out the symbolic intricacies of that yourself because i was just doing what felt right sjdjsdk

almost forgot: it's not just the positioning that sorta favors the doctor, it's also the fact that she is slightly more armored than the master. i don't know if you would call that armor, but let's go with that. her mask is pulled slightly more over her face than the master's, she wears her gloves and shoes while the master wears neither, and her rapier has a little cover that goes over her hand, while the master's just fans out. obviously they both have minor injuries, but the doctor also has some Ambiguous blood at her mouth. is it his? is it hers? i don't know. but she has blood in her mouth vibes when it comes to her interactions with the master so there u go

there's also an element of like, fencing is not supposed to get this crazy, so something has gotten severely out of hand here. but mostly i thought it looked cool.

if i could change anything about this, i would make it so that the doc's blade is pointing directly at the master's chin instead of having just grazed his lower face, with the master trying to lift his head away from the blade as he slides down, just so that the threat felt a little more.. i don't know, imminent? so that the strain is more pronounced? they're simultaneously being pulled toward one another (by gravity) and desperately trying to push away. i might've also fucked around with the text a little more because i'm realizing now that it could very easily be misread shjshdjs. but mostly i'm just glad that it's done and it looks cool. it's been YEARS and i finally feel like i'm back on my art feet. but don't hold me to that

[aspecpplarebeautiful]

I’m grayromantic because I feel like I don’t understand romantic attraction, or I’ve had mixed/alterous attraction for people in the past. I’ve tried dating someone, but I’ve felt horrible while in the relationship, probably because my partner has MUCH stronger romantic feelings for me than I can handle, much less reciprocate (even though they say they’re ok with it. I don’t think I am). For context, I think I have alterous feelings for them, and I would’ve probably enjoyed a QPR better, but at the time I didn’t know how to ask for one so I just asked them out but informed them I was grayro so I wasn’t sure. I don’t like how our relationship is right now and I thought it might be because of romance repulsion.

But recently I looked at the behavior patterns of the dismissive-avoidant attachment style and they all kind of fit me. So how do I know if I’m just rejecting my partner because of my attachment style or because of romance repulsion?

It can be complicated, romance repulsion can feel similar to other issues, especially since it often manifests as anxiety. It also isn't always one or the other, sometimes it can be a combination of both.

One thing that tends to be mostly true for romance repulsion is that there's no pushing through it. And the more you try and work through it and deal with it, usually the worse it will get. Whereas something like dismissive-avoidant attachment style is something that usually will get better as you work through it.

Another general difference is that often with attachment style disorders, people do still usually want a relationship, even if they may feel anxious or uncomfortable. Not wanting the relationship, or ending the relationship feeling like a relief (and staying feeling that way after) may be a sign of romance repulsion being at least part of what you're dealing with.

Something even considering the above, it's still not clear. Especially early on. Don't feel like you have to have it all figured out right away.

It's never a bad idea to work on your mental health, and sometimes that can provide clarity as things change or don't change as you work through things.

Sometimes journaling or talking to someone can help. Though if you seek out a therapist, make sure you find someone who is aro friendly and will focus on helping you discover for yourself where you fall. Some therapists also have a habit of pushing people into romantic relationships whether it's right for them at that moment (or ever) or not.

It's up to you if you want to try and work through things while in a romantic relationship or not. If you don't feel comfortable staying in the relationship, it's OK to end it, even if you're not sure exactly what's going on specifically with you yet.

Another thing you can consider is talking to your partner about the possibility of trying a QPR. Some people are open to changing the type of relationship they're in (though some aren't, but if you're thinking of ending the romantic relationship anyways, you have nothing to lose by asking about the possibility of a QPR).

All the best, Anon! Good luck!

[eclaire-went-bam]

ngl character ai is really boring

on one hand, yeah it's ai and it's steals from existing writing and ouuugh ai is bad we all know this but i do see a lotta people even from creative spheres talk about it positively a lot — which i'm not tryna get on a high horse about, mind you. i really liked it at first too

but it's like...so;; boring? everything misses that human aspect, or there are small subtleties it doesn't understand or whatever. sometimes it's funny for trolling, but for characters and world-building and roleplays, imo, it's soooo boringggg. it says the same things half the time and obviously doesn't know where to go. nothing's ever interesting. it really does feel like junk. which it is. but like. how did it get so popular. i don't get how most my friends are still so extremely attached to it