#there's basically no spoilers in this despite its length

[mx-lamour]

"CoS is actually a Western."

Hang on. I have something for this. (I was going to reblog this, but things got out of hand fast, so here's an entirely separate post instead. Be warned... it's long.)

I usually like to share just some of the most dramatic/cinematic moments from our game, and Ezra's perspective in particular, but hoo boy. Hopefully this will give you some insight into the utter weirdness that also went on through most of our campaign.

The party was traveling south, toward the ruin of Berez.

We notice a bizarre row of thin wooden walls on either side of the road ahead, propped up from the behind by long angled beams. Only a couple of small one-room structures jut out from the back of them.

The wheels of Ezmerelda's wagon creak lightly, crunching along the dirt road as we approach the anomaly. We can see that the front of the walls are painted to look like buildings. Amongst them are a few figures. A man wipes his brow with a handkerchief. Jaunty piano music wafts through the scene.

In a sudden shattering of glass, something crashes through the window of a building labeled "saloon". Ezra approaches the object now lying in the road. It's a thin wooden cutout, painted on one side to look like a man.

We look around. All the figures in this theatrical setpiece are painted cutouts, animated by a series of ropes and pullies. Dulan spies a zombie or two through the gaps between facades, operating the mechanisms.

This is undoubtedly one of Strahd's works.

For context, we were aware of two separate personifications of Strahd von Zarovich, but were still not entirely sure why the duality existed or what to do about it.

Our first was one we dubbed "Strahd von Strahd", an unhinged caricature with a deep and thoroughly exaggerated Dracula voice, who had encouraged us on other occasions to participate in small theatrical scenes (this wild west town was an escalation of a sort we had not yet encountered).

The other, we labeled "Business Strahd", who we had begun to speculate the existence of only after meeting Ezmerelda, and had only recently confirmed/witnessed at Yesterhill.

Ezra lights one of his shoddy cigarettes.

We peer through the busted saloon window. It's set up with a few tables and chairs, some of which are occupied by more ambient cutout figures. Off to one side, a zombie sits at a harpsichord. There's a man behind the bar, wiping the inside of a glass with a rag.

"Do we want to start placing bets that's Strahd in disguise?" Ezra mutters warily.

After some hesitation, we steel ourselves—Ezra casting a protection on himself—and bust dramatically through the swinging doors.

As we enter, we're startled by a tray lowering jerkily down to us on ropes from the ceiling above. Presented on it are a stack of black cowboy hats, and a pile of metal brooches shaped like stars, the word 'deputy' etched on each of them. A sign suspended between the ropes of the apparatus reads: Choose your role.

Kreig scoops up one of the shiny metal stars. Dulan, who acts like an elder brother around Kreig, joins him, and pins a star to his vest. There's a silly moment where Krieg sees this and goes to mimick Dulan, but then we remember the barbarian isn't wearing a shirt, so he kind of just stabs it into his pec instead.

Ezra dons a black hat. The tray raises back up into the makeshift rafters.

"What can I get you?" The line is flat and stilted. The human bartender is sporting a thousand-yard stare.

Kreig asks for water, since we've been traveling a while.

"Good choice. Three sasparillas."

Ezra sniffs at the substance this the poor man hands us, which was described as essentially a brownish watered-down apple vinegar. Kreig tries to drink some of it and resists the urge to make a sour face, in an effort to be polite.

While Dulan tries to chat with the barkeep, Ezra wanders away with his cup of swill to survey the rest of the setup. There are more zombies, dressed in western outfits, suspended from the ceiling. For now, the corpses hang inert.

The saloon doors swing open again, and Rahadin stands in the doorway. He's decked out in classy outlaw attire: black leather jacket, black boots adorned with shiny silver spurs, and atop his head is a black cowboy hat. But he still wears a sword on his hip.

He catches Ezra's eye and nods to him. "I don't know how you can stand to drink in here, ol' Dynamite McCoy." The background music and other ambient sounds abruptly cease.

Ezra lifts his glass slightly. "Ale's ale," he says blandly.

"I know what you mean, but I wish they would serve a better class of folk in this establishment."

"What do you mean?" Dulan chimes in.

"I mean that you two," says outlaw Rahadin, addressing deputies Dulan and Kreig, "are scum of the earth."

Dulan plays into it, puffing up his stocky dwarven chest. "I'm the long arm of the law in this town!"

"You won't talk so high and mighty when Gravedigger Jim comes into town." We naturally assume that this is in reference to Strahd.

"Them's fightin' words," Dulan declares, trying to figure out what the end goal of this playacting is supposed to be.

"Gravedigger Jim sent me to tell you, you've got one last chance to leave this town. If you want to see another sunrise, you'd best be gone by high noon."

"The junior deputy and I ain't goin' nowhere," Dulan retorts. "Go find yourself a new town to harrass."

The human bartender interjects lamely, "Now now. I don't want any trouble in here. Take it outside or be done with it."

Rahadin fixes the deputies with a look. "You've been warned."

He's about to leave. But Kreig pipes up. "Well, wait. Why don't we put aside our quarrels and you have a drink with us?" He plops a coin down on the bar. "A round for this... gentleman."

The barkeep pours another drink. Rahadin strides up to the bar and levels Kreig with a look. "You're not going to win me over with a drink, so what's your game, junior deputy?"

"No game, just trying to enjoy my day. It's mighty hot out there, so I figured you could use something to quench your thirst," Kreig says. Rahadin reaches for the glass, but then Kreig adds, "Unless you ain't up for it," in some unfathomable challenge.

At that, Rahadin takes the drink, throws its contents on Kreig, and sets the glass back down on the bar with a decisive thunk.

"Thank you," Kreig says. "I needed that." And pours his own drink over Rahadin's head.

Rahadin steps back, pausing to let the liquid drip off of him. "Thanks," he says dryly, and picks up a chair from a nearby table.

Dulan raises a hand. "Now, the barkeep asked us to take it outside," he says loudly. "This is a civilized place."

With incredible mid-swing restraint, Rahadin merely lays the chair down on its back atop the bar. He tells Dulan, "Your junior deputy would have preferred the chair," and walks out.

"As far as I can tell, you've just invited yourself to a duel," Ezra observes from his place far on the sideline.

"Get your kind out of my town!" Dulan grumbles emphatically, gesturing at Ezra's black hat.

With a pointed look, Ezra sets his own glass down on a table, turns, and walks out after Rahadin.

Outside, wagons have been moved into the road at either end of the set. A couple new cutouts, depicting gangs of tough-looking outlaws, have come into play. And Strahd is there, standing in the middle of it all, dressed in his usual Count attire, but with the addition of a black cowboy hat.

Rahadin reaches into a barrel on the side of the road and starts pulling out hand crossbows. He offers one to Ezra.

Strahd also acknowledges him pleasantly. In his most outlandish Dracula voice, he says, "Good evening, Ezra. You have chosen an interesting part to play today. Welcome to the other side."

Ezra plays it cool. He tips his hat in reply.

Back inside the saloon, the piano music resumes. The zombies in the rafters are lowered down and become vaguely animate. They seem to follow Dulan and Kreig, but do not attack. So Dulan continues to play the game. "You were born in this town," he says, rallying the mock townsfolk. "We will defend this town. No low-down cattle rustlers are going to take it from us!" The zombies grumble and groan in raucous agreement. There are ambient cartoon sounds of bullets loading into chambers, and cylinders spinning, despite a distinct lack of weaponry. A table is flipped on its side and hefted up by zombie arms. Dulan, Kreig, and the unlikely crew huddle behind it like a massive shield.

A hawk cries in the distance.

"Come on out of there, you yellow-bellied cowards!" Strahd calls richly from outside the saloon. "Face Gravedigger Jim!"

Dulan, privately reeling at the absurdity of all this, somehow plays that classic Western sound [wa wa waaa... wheeooo-oo...] to inspire Kreig, who rages as they stomp through the doorway with a gaggle of zombies and a table in front of them.

"Howdy pilgr—Oh no, they're rushing it!" Strahd yells. "Next cue! Next cue!"

Strahd throws his cape aside, and draws out not a crossbow, but an actual, literal hand gun. Something none of our characters have ever seen before. He aims, and just obliterates the head of one of Dulan and Kreig's loaner zombies. The other zombies keep moving, treading over the now mostly-headless corpse.

Kreig advances toward Rahadin, slapping the crossbow from his hand with the flat of his blade. "We can still settle this calmly," he says.

"You should have let me keep the crossbow," Radahin replies coolly. He draws his sword. "And, by the way... this is calm." The man makes three melee attacks.

"Gravedigger Jim!" Dulan improvises, "Unlike your name, you'll be hangin' from that tree, like your father before you!"

As an aside to Rahadin, Strahd comments, "He's totally off-script, but I love the energy."

Ezra takes another puff of his dwindling cigarette, playing the cool observer, letting the bosses handle it. He keeps his eyes trained on the barrel of Strahd's gun.

"You keep my papa out of this," Strahd banters, leveling it at Dulan.

Ezra's eyes flash when he sees the spark. The revolver backfires in a gout of flame that billows back at Strahd's face, igniting his clothing.

Strahd blinks. "Son of a bitch," he remarks. "Rahadin, you warned me, but I really wanted to give it a try."

Kreig attacks Rahadin, who vanishes in a puff of smoke. A molotov cocktail hurtles at Kreig from above, smashing to the ground by his feet. Kreig dives out of the way, glancing up at the trajectory to see Rahadin standing on a makeshift balcony.

Dulan pulls a rope from his pack and ties a lasso. He makes himself invisible.

"Why don't you let me give it a whirl," Ezra offers, extending his hand to Strahd and nodding toward the gun. "Those things can be a bit finicky."

In a miracle of dice rolls, Strahd practically shrugs as he relinquishes the revolver. The fire consuming his sleeve licks Ezra's hand in the exchange. Ezra doesn't flinch. With a breath like blowing out a candle, he extinguishes the flames.

Relieved of the gun, Strahd draws his sword instead. He and Rahadin converge against Kreig, Rahadin flinging a terrifyingly dark rusty dagger at the barbarian from aloft. Together, they take him down. Rahadin remarks, "I told you he would have preferred the chair."

Dulan catches Strahd with the lasso. He pulls on the rope, calling the remaining zombies to help him. "Pull!" he yells.

Strahd topples over. He rolls on the ground a bit, palms up in mock despair. "No! You have captured me! How can this be? I, the great Gravedigger Jim, will go out the same way as my pappy."

"This is why one shouldn't get tangled up in the wrong side of the law," Dulan declares.

Ezra makes his way over to Kreig. Goes to remove the nasty-looking dagger from him, but it falls apart in his hands, disintigrating into nothingness and leaving behind an infectious-looking oozing black wound in Kreig's hide. Ezra carefully burns it away, sparing him his descent into death.

Dulan and Ezra spare a glance at each other, trying to figure out where to go from here.

Rahadin watches the conclusion of the little episode with his elbows propped on the balcony railing, chin resting on a closed fist.

"Oh no, you won," Ezra says lamely.

Dulan leans down to Strahd, still wriggling on the ground. "You have to hang me," Strahd insists.

With aid of the zombies, Dulan sets out to hoist the rope up somewhere nearby. He avoids moving the lasso from Strahd's arms, so Strahd does it for him, positioning it around his own neck like he's adjusting a bowtie.

And then he hangs. He makes a dramatic show of gurgling and going limp.

"And, cut!" he announces, slashing easily through the rope and dropping gracefully back to the ground. "Good work everybody. You really studied the material this time. A marked improvement on your last show. Great work. Get some water, stay hydrated, and... we will move onto the next scene." And with that, he simply walks away.

Strahd makes his exit between two of the building facades. Rahadin turns, too, leaving through a doorway behind him on the balcony. The zombies de-animate and crumple to the ground.

Ezra hurries after Strahd, still intent on gleaning some additional insight. Throughout this encounter, the man has been wholly committed to his act, completely devoid of caution or care, never once breaking character. There's been no trace whatsoever of the Strahd von Zarovich from his own journal, nor their encounter at Yesterhill, nor even Vasili von Holtz. He would truly have to be the most talented actor in the world, or this is a completely different entity. So, who is he really? And why is he wearing Strahd's face?

Strahd is standing with Rahadin by his black carriage, giving him notes. "I think we need to do better next time. They seemed to be a tad confused. Maybe a bit more stagecraft. But they seem to be taking hold, starting to dig into their parts. Fantastic." Rahadin opens the carriage door for him and Strahd steps inside.

Ezra approaches them as Rahadin climbs up to the coachman's place. "Good evening, Ezra," Strahd greets him again. "You made an interesting choice today. I think perhaps you need more practice, but I like this new direction you are taking your character."

Ezra takes off his black hat and sets it on the carriage seat next to Strahd. He touches Strahd's arm. "I said I was here to help," Ezra reminds him, and surreptitiously casts Remove Curse, just to see what it will do.

It does nothing. He can't feel any difference, can see no change in Strahd at all.

Strahd pats Ezra's glowing hand amiably. "Oh, but you seem so hot and clammy. Perhaps you should see a doctor." He settles into the carriage, then, closing the door.

Before they depart, Rahadin leans toward Ezra, regarding him over his shoulder. "There are always more black hats available, should you decide it suits you, Ezra." He flicks the reins, and they're off. The ominous black carriage rolls north, back up the road.

In the background, Dulan had the spirit of the wizard Emari [it's a magic item situation] trail after Ezra. When Ezra returns, Dulan regails the group with the information Emari gleaned from the interaction [Dulan is the only one who can see/hear the wizard's spirit].

When Ezra was speaking with Strahd, Emari said, Strahd's mind was a minefield of incessant cacouphanous screams and wails. And Rahadin's thoughts were shielded completely from detection.

A direct reversal of a previous encounter we'd had with both of them.

[genericpuff]

I've come to the stunning realization-

-that Lore Olympus is basically to the webtoons industry what Youtube Kids is to Youtube.

And I'm not talking about the general "Youtube Kids" label, I'm talking about those videos - Elsagate, Johny Johny, Cocomelon, Mickey Mouse tattooing Spongebob or whatever other weird example you can think of - which are explicitly designed to game the algorithm, turn views into money, and most of all, gain and keep the attention of the one demographic that won't question what they're consuming - children.

!!!!THIS POST HAS FAST PASS SPOILERS AHEAD!!!!

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I mean, this is undoubtedly just a tinfoil hat theory, but think about it:

Bright oversaturated colors that are attention-grabbing.

Meme faces and 'lol rAnDoM' humor even when it doesn't suit the situation at all.

Art that's all around ugly and cheap on a technical level but still stands out due to its color design and prioritized advertising.

Vapid surface level scene-to-scene writing that doesn't connect or have any meaning in any coherent way.

One-dimensional projection characters who are easy to manipulate and sway for audience sympathy or anger even if those opinions change on a dime based on actions in the moment.

Cliffhangers that are less like true cliffhangers and more like clickbait. Episodes nowadays tend to be filled with drawn out plotlines, vague hints that can be applied to just about any school of thought, and non-sequitur memes to fill the time until they can hook the reader with another cliffhanger to keep them coming back next week.

Coin prices have gone up but episode length, substance, and quality have noticeably gone down. Even if they reach the same panel count they usually have, dialogue is minimal and pacing is brutally inconsistent to the point that plot progression is often non-existent.

Banner ads that run constantly, often in the first or second (or both) slots, with push notifications and pop-up ads also becoming more frequent whether you're subscribed to the comic or not.

And underneath ALL of that, we've got blatant objectifying and sexualization of female characters regardless of context, misogyny that claims to be progressive, racist undertones, borderline fetish content that constantly toes the Terms of Services line, normalization of problematic/toxic relationship dynamics, a creator who's more interested in 'getting back' at critics than writing an actual story, and underlying messaging both from the characters' and the creator's behavior that encourage witch-hunting, rejection of accountability, and blind devotion.

All this is essentially why I've given up consuming LO entirely, beyond just on a critical level as of late. There was a time long ago when I stuck around in the hopes it was going to get better, that maybe it was just going through a "rough patch" as some stories do. After that I stuck around because I wanted to see how it could possibly pull off its ending. And then after that, I simply stuck around for the laughs and community banter. But now I don't even find it funny anymore, the punchline of how bad it is has gotten incredibly old. And at this rate, as much as we'd like to believe it's going to end in its third season as it's been mentioned in the past, we also were told it was going to end between 100-200 episodes prior to that - the way it's going, I can't even stick around "for the ending" because LO is going to be around for as long as WT tries to milk it, despite it no longer having a heartbeat.

As much as I've loved talking shit about this comic and it's undoubtedly the main reason so many of you followed me here in the first place, I'm not going to lock myself in some kind of purgatory hell just to be proven what I already know is going to happen - either the comic continues on forever, doomed to be a lifeless mascot for the zombie corporation that is WT, or RS eats shit while trying to stick the landing with a plane that has no functional parts.

There's a quote from Caddicarus that I couldn't help but think of as I typed this up, from his nearly-decade-old review of Dalmations 3 (oh god, it's nearly been a decade since that video came out what the actual fuck-)

"And this is where I officially lost all fucking care. I realized it wasn't going to end anytime soon. It's one of those rare instances where the novelty of how awful everything is actually gets really tiresome and unfunny." - Caddicarus

[octavare]

Cecil Headcanons #1

Ok this is assorted with no particular order or theme. I’ve been sitting on this for a while and I keep adding to it. So I’m gonna post it now while it’s a… “reasonable”… length, and probably eventually do a part 2. I also intend on eventually doing a GDA headcanons post because I have a lot that are more broad to the GDA as a whole and not just Cecil.

Discusses his backstory from the comics slightly but nothing that’s really a spoiler.

- From the outskirts of Jacksonville, Florida (dear God no wonder he’s the way he is). Has a southern accent that he represses, but slips out occasionally. It does in the show too, so this isn’t entirely conjecture.

- Father is from Alabama. Mother from Florida.

- Majored in counterterrorism (most 3 letter gov orgs irl require a bachelor’s degree, I can’t see the GDA being any different)

- Chose to enter the military initially due to his older brother being a victim of a supervillain terrorist attack. Previously a sports prodigy, he was left paralyzed and unable to pursue his dreams.

- Was a green beret before being introduced to the GDA. Was invited to the CIA’s SAD or the GDA’s SPECOPs. He chose the latter.

- Was a commando in a three-man squad that worked to support behind the scenes of superhero operations. Basically, they’d do dirty work while the public superhero they are working with is soaking up the attention and serving as a distraction.

- His call sign was Phoenix. He got it after being, quite literally, reborn from ash. Had a few other nicknames too though, mostly derogatory and in reference to his scar.

- Usually supported/worked alongside Brit. They became best friends and still are to this day please don’t cut him from the show Amazon

- Due to the chemical treatments he takes to maintain his artificial skin grafts he looks older than he actually is. And that’s not even mentioning the immense amount of stress he endures. He’s actually in his mid 50s but nobody really believes him. Male pattern baldness is a bitch as well.

- Insane sharpshooter and is proficient with just about any firearm you put in his hands. Even to this day, sets aside an hour to train in the range and keep those skills sharp. Never know when you’ll need them. Always carrying heat.

- Addicted to coffee. Occasionally adds whiskey. That isn’t good for you, but nobody has the guts to scold him (anymore).

- Usually drinks coffee black since it’s easiest and fastest to prepare, but will not turn down a latte. Loves any coffee with three pounds of sugar and milk dumped in it.

- Also likes jack and coke but this is much more seldomly witnessed.

- Wine too. Anything alcohol he will drink really. Beer.

- Loves Italian food. Isn’t really a picky eater though and will eat just about anything put in front of him, for better or worse.

- Refuses to use any sort of cloning technology on himself. He believes that with the idea of only having one chance in the back of his mind, he will be more pressed to use that chance to its fullest. This isn’t public knowledge though.

- Really likes sweets and that problem is the primary reason for his weight gain besides stress. Baked goods are his favorite but he even likes shitty cheap candy.

- The US flag pin belonged to his wife. He wears that one specifically to remind himself of her. He likes his stupid ass reminders.

- Enjoys listening to music or sports while doing things like paperwork (but he never sets aside time to just listen to them). He enjoys classic rock, old school heavy metal, and surprisingly, piano music. If I had to name bands I’d say Black Sabbath, Alice Cooper, Led Zepplin, etc. As for sports he’s mostly into football (his team is the Jags).

- Messy as fuck, but in an “organized chaos” kind of way. He knows where everything is in his office but it looks like a wreck.

- Smokes a pipe. This actually isn’t a headcanon it’s in the early comics. It’s a rare occurrence, he is somehow not addicted. Despite this, his mouth and respiratory system are in perfect condition due to GDA medical tech.

- He’s a fucking hypocrite about a handful of topics, usually morality, emotions and relationships. He also is completely aware of it and views it as an unfixable flaw.

- He knew Nolan killed the guardians from day 1. He just hired the detective to make it seem to Nolan like the GDA didn’t know and was still investigating. Just a means to buy more time. His contingency plan for Nolan was not ready. I genuinely think this is canon btw but it’s never explicitly stated.

- He thinks the costumes that heroes wear are stupid and (mostly) impractical. The only reason they still are used is to divert the attention towards the heroes and not the fact that there is a government organization directing them.

- Black belt in Taekwondo + skilled in some other martial arts. Basically Solid Snake with his CQC. Similar skill set between characters. Is a stealth guy also.

- Carries four guns on him at all times. Two in his coat. One in his belt. One on his shin. One of the ones in his coat is a laser pistol, just in case you run into someone bullet resistant. But as the Heavy from TF2 says: it’s tough to find someone who can outsmart bullets. Unfortunately I can name three major characters in Invincible right off the bat that can. Tough luck.

- May come as surprising but he’s religious. His main thought process is that in a world as chaotic as his, some people may be inclined to think there isn’t a god, but he is inclined to do the opposite because he thinks that there are some situations in which you’ve done all you can and all that you can do now is pray. He isn’t really hardcore though. This idea stems from all the religious imagery that shows up around Cecil for some reason. I’m not tweaking I swear. I could go on a whole thing about that correlation but that’s a different topic.

- Adding on to this, a major idea in Christianity is that God allows evil to persist because it will eventually result in a greater good. SOUND FAMILIAR? He got it from somewhere.

- The only Korn song he knows is Here to Stay and he knows it by memory. Yes this is oddly specific and I will not elaborate.

- Tends to be crude, but in moderation. Definitely tries to tone in down in front of women. Professionals have standards.

- Dude could still break your back (assuming you don’t have superhuman durability) even in his older age. He’s a little out of shape but the muscle memory is still intact.

- Can sing surprisingly well. No training at all so he’s not professional level, but it’s pretty damn good for no training. It’s rare that anyone ever witness though. Once in a lifetime event if they are lucky.

- Can write with both hands, simultaneously, different things. It took a lot of effort to learn (just kidding. secret government hypnosis) and is incredibly useful for multitasking.

- His hair genetics are really screwed up. First he started showing male pattern baldness in his 20s, though it didn’t really get notably bad until later (we know how that turned out). He’s really attached to his hair and refuses to shave what’s left of it. He’d never admit it but he is self conscious about it.

- In addition he started graying severely at a relatively early age, 30s, due to stress. He dyed it back to its platinum blond color almost religiously but eventually gave up, too much work for no payoff.

- Occasionally when his work is super backed up, he doesn’t get to shave and his stubble grows out. Hair doesn’t grow where his burn scar is so there’s a big spot there that has nothing.

- The side of his mouth with the scar has reduced mobility due to nerve damage. It doesn’t impact his speech but his muscles do not work properly there. When he smiles or frowns that side of his face just doesn’t move.

BONUS

CECIL’S SCHEDULE (just for fun)

Literally at any given time he can go on call because incidents can happen whenever. But on a typical day…

5 am - Work day officially starts. Paperwork time, get ready for the day. Check meeting schedule and any missed news.

6 am - Breakfast. He’s still working while eating.

6:30 am - Meeting window opens.

- Check on department heads, make sure there’s no problems.

7 am - Check on Guardians and other GDA teams.

12 pm - Lunch. See breakfast.

12:30 pm - Check on department heads, make sure there’s no problems.

3 pm - Meeting window closes. Exercise hour because gotta stay in shape.

6 pm - Dinner. He’s still working, what did you expect.

6:30 pm - Check on department heads. Make sure there’s no problems.

7:00 pm - Check on Guardians and other GDA teams.

9 pm - Cecil hits the range because you gotta stay sharp and strapped. Training hour.

10 pm - More office stuff.

12 am - Brinner. That’s right. He has four meals a day, because he doesn’t sleep. Plus, even with the reinvigoration he gets from the chemical treatment, he needs more energy to account for him being awake longer and burning more energy.

3 am - The infamous hot tub. Reinvigorates his body as a whole, not just the skin.

4 am - Make sure night shift stuff went well. Otherwise, paperwork.

[lurkingshan]

Love Mate

When @bengiyo informed me that the creative team behind Our Dating Sim had released another show, I knew immediately I would have to check it out (attn: @troubled-mind). And I’m happy to report that I really loved Love Mate!

The basic premise: Yi Jun doesn’t believe in love and is determined to be single forever. Ha Ram is his new junior at work who has a crush on him and is determined to prove him wrong. Shenanigans ensue!

This is a really classic romance story and the show heavily deploys all your favorite tropes from romance, bl, and kdramas, but in a knowing way that lets you in on the fun. The leads are great and have really solid chemistry. And importantly, like ODS, this show has managed to calibrate its pacing and story ambitions appropriately to fit its short length. The narrative is complete and satisfying and it was a really delightful few hours of a binge.

Getting into spoiler territory here so only read on if you don’t mind!

I’ve seen a bit of chatter in the tags about whether Ha Ram went too far in his aggressive pursuit of Yi Jun and transgressed his boundaries inappropriately. I get why that conversation is happening but I didn’t feel that way and wanted to dig into why.

First, like I mentioned above, this is a really classic romance set up that is using very recognizable tropes, and the character types and dynamic between them is no exception. Yi Jun is claiming not to believe in love, but you can see almost immediately - and the show confirms over time - that he is actually a wounded baby bird who desperately wants love but is trying to protect himself from getting hurt again. Ha Ram is the love interest who sees through him - we find out later why he is so confident this isn’t really who Yi Jun is and why he is so determined about him - and takes it upon himself to give Yi Jun the attention and care he clearly needs. These archetypes are rooted in tradition and if you’re familiar with the genre you know the basic sketch of how this is going to go before the first episode ends.

Second, it was apparent right away that Yi Jun 1) liked Ha Ram; 2) wanted his attention; 3) was enjoying being pursued despite his protestations. In the first few episodes we saw him getting flustered, looking at and thinking about Ha Ram constantly, and intentionally putting himself in Ha Ram’s path even as he verbally claimed he wasn’t into it. Yi Jun even admits all of this explicitly once they’re dating, but to me it was clear just from his body language and reactions. After asking for some time to think before he decides if he wants to date him, Yi Jun cracks after literally one (1) day without Ha Ram’s attention. Once they start being “date mates” Yi Jun blooms right in front of our eyes. He is happy again, finding joy in life, relaxing quite naturally into this relationship even if he won’t call it that yet. And when his ex comes back and sends him back into a spiral and he starts avoiding Ha Ram, we see his spirit dim and the light go out of his eyes. Ha Ram is good for Yi Jun and the show makes it super clear. And it makes perfect sense, because for someone who was harshly dumped the way Yi Jun was in the past, someone pursuing him that relentlessly, and still wanting him even when he makes it difficult, would be a much needed balm for his ego, a boost to his confidence, and the assurance he would need before he’d be willing to risk getting hurt again.

Third, Ha Ram is an emotionally intelligent character that can tell the difference between Yi Jun “playing hard to get” while still seeking his attention, and Yi Jun actually being very upset and wanting time away from him. And when Ha Ram is faced with the latter, he backs off. He knows something is going on with the ex and he is upset about Yi Jun pushing him away, but ultimately he gives him space to wallow and only intervenes when he is being hurt. And in the end, he offers his support and care to bolster Yi Jun, and again gives Yi Jun the space to get the closure he needs on his own.

I could probably ramble on about this show and these characters all day (which is telling given when a short watch it is!) but I would rather just tell you to go watch it. It’s not perfect, but it’s truly a lovely story and worth your time.

[aworldforastage]

A Totally Subjective List of Favorite Danmei Novels I Read in 2022

Qiang Jin Jiu :: 将进酒 唐酒卿

Silent Reading :: 默读 Priest

Jun You Ji Fou :: 君有疾否 如似我闻

Those Years I Opened a Zoo :: 我开动物园那些年  拉棉花糖的兔子 

Golden Stage :: 黄金台 苍梧宾白

Your Scandals Are Way Cuter Than You :: 你的黑料比本人可爱 毛球球

Professional Body Double :: 职业替身 水千丞

Lantern: Reflection of the Peach Blossoms :: 提灯映桃花 淮上 

Guide on How to Fail at Online Dating :: 网恋翻车指南 酱子贝

FOG :: FOG[电竞] 漫漫何其多

Qiang Jin Jiu :: 将进酒 唐酒卿

“你坐明堂上,不要沾风雪。” “Your place is in the great halls, untouched by wind and snow.”

[historical, political intrigue]  – (I wrote a spoiler-free introductory synopsis here.)  Plenty of people have already said lots of good things about this novel, but the highlight for me is its rich cast of three-dimensional characters, who are simultaneously cruel or frustrating but also sympathetic and redeemable. The characters’ actions and decisions are mingled with compromises they must make for their circumstances and values. The world is built with extreme care, with plenty of details that I didn’t catch until my second pass over the novel. I read nearly 70 titles in 2022, but I spent almost a month on QJJ alone to re-read and listen to the audiodrama. Despite the length of the novel, I still wish I can spend more time in this world. 

Silent Reading :: 默读 Priest 

“ 我不是凝视深渊的人，我就是深渊。” “I’m not the one staring into the abyss; I am the abyss.”

[modern, police procedural] – If QJJ is my go-to recommendation for a historical danmei, then Silent Reading aka Modu is my go-to for a modern one. This is basically a police procedural, focusing on five major cases, with the finale weaving together clues scattered throughout the novel. Priest is a masterful writer who introduces new information in a measured pace, so you gradually get to know the characters and immerse into the complex world. The cases takes us face-to-face with some of the the darkest facets of humanity, but the work decidedly leaves you with a sense of hope, that even the deepest wounds can heal, and there are more people than you may ever expected who will want to help you.

Jun You Ji Fou :: 君有疾否 如似我闻 

刹那间上万只蝶忽然振翅飞起，满胸膛的蝶翼扑动，心彻底乱的没有章法。 Suddenly tens of thousands of butterflies spread their wings to take flight. His chest is filled with fluttering motion, and his heart falls fully into disarray. 

[historical, political, romance] – In JYJF, two longtime rivals with opposing political priorities coming to a new understanding of each other and fall in love.  They are both clever, principled, but black-bellied in their own way. This novel has undeniable weaknesses as a political drama, but it has built a reputation as a romance with poetic prose, well-developed characters, and a delicious blend of humour, fluff, and angst. The “light” political plot lines will not bog the reader down, and functions instead as an effective backdrop to showoff how the characters work together, the way their ideologies clash and align, and why they can come love each other. [incomplete translation]

Those Years I Opened a Zoo :: 我开动物园那些年  拉棉花糖的兔子 

“也没有什么诀窍，就是夸他，一个劲夸他，从内夸到外。”  “There isn’t really a trick to it. Just compliment him, keep complimenting him, compliment him from inside out.” 

[comedy, urban fantasy] – This is my go-to feel-better novel when I need a good laugh. The protagonist operates a zoo with the help of a magical app, and some of the most formidable names in Chinese mythology (Su Daji, Bai Suzhen, Sun Wokong etc.) must blend in as “staff animals”. There is no real angst or conflict, and the romance, between the twenty-something zoo owner and a mythological bird who has been “single for tens-of-thousands of years,” is equally light and fun. Even though his boyfriend is one of the most powerful beings in the universe, the human shou is the one who actually sets the pace and tone of the relationship, since he is the one with higher EQ and more “knowledge”.

Golden Stage :: 黄金台 苍梧宾白

“朝廷走狗不残害忠良，怎么对得起天下悠悠众口？”  “If the dog of the imperial court doesn’t scheme against the loyal and the just, what will all the interested citizens gossip about?” 

[historical, arranged marriage,  but really reconciliation] - The emperor arranges a controversial marriage for an injured but popular war hero and his rival, a favored but notorious court official. Instead of shifting the political balance like the emperor has hoped, the couple works out their old grievances and forms a formidable alliance which soon becomes the only hope for the ailing empire against foes within and beyond. A lot of the political themes in this novel are very similar to QJJ, but while QJJ is very hardcore in its depiction of the politics and mechanics of an entire government, Golden Stage is a much shorter and easier read, with its focus on the core characters, and their values and relationships. 

Your Scandals Are Way Cuter Than You :: 你的黑料比本人可爱 毛球球

难得有这么一大波人送上门来吵架，江影兴奋得很，但，他有他的职业道德，自家的粉只能护，不能怼，至于戚逐家的，他只针对戚逐这个人，不针对戚逐家的粉。 It's not often that such a large group of people brings the fight to his door; Jiang Ying is very excited. However, he has his own ethical standards: he needs to help his own fans, not go up against them. As for Qi Zhu's fans, his problem is only with Qi Zhu himself, not the fans.

[comedy, actors/celebrities] –  A hilarious “entertainment circle” novel where the idol actor protagonist loves the industry not for the acting or the singing, but the gossip and cat fights. He is so invested in arguing and fighting with antis online that he nearly misses the fact someone is seriously in love with him. The protagonist’s brother’s story is told in Your Memes are Way Better-looking than You, which takes place before this novel. “Memes” generally has the same funny tone but a slightly more serious plot, but this novel is a pure sugar-fest. 

Professional Body Double :: 职业替身 水千丞

他看到了一个成熟的男人是怎么对待爱情的，又是怎么用那种恰到好处的温柔和宽容去感染、缠缚对方的，他就是那个被周翔紧紧抓住的人。 He saw how a mature man deals with love, using just the perfect amount of warmth and generosity to infect and cling onto his lover; he was the was one who had been tightly held onto by Zhou Xiang. 

 [angst, romance, actors and celebrities] – A gentle introduction to the infamous “188 Club”. Yan Mingxiu’s ranking within the 188 really varies depending on your priorities, but I mostly have a soft spot for him because Zhou Xiang seems to really love him (and also, the extra chapters written from YMX’s POV kinda sorta maybe gave him sympathy points).  Zhou Xiang is caring, smart, and extremely charismatic. I am very moved by the way Zhou Xiang loves and pursues Yan Mingxiu before the accident, the way his confidence and maturity are undercut by his insecurities and loneliness as an orphan and a gay man. In the end, I root for them mostly because I want to believe Zhou Xiang can make it work with the boy he loves so much. 

Lantern: Reflection of the Peach Blossoms :: 提灯映桃花 淮上 

“我不是来打仗的，我是来求婚的。” “I didn’t come here to fight, I came to propose."

[romance, urban fantasy, reconciliation ] – This novel probably has my favorite relationship arc, in which love has never been so powerful and so useless at the same time. It’s a love story between gods and demons, and but it’s also about the insecurity of marrying across classes, the damage of emotionally abusive upbringing, the balance between children and spouse, and the sacrifices you make for love and duty. It’s a HE reconciliation story with lots of comedy, but it’s a long and cruel journey to uncover and patch up the mistakes that brought them to this point. One note I must make is that this novel is kind of hard to follow due to POV switches and the character themselves having incomplete information; the full conflict and relevant backstory is not really clear until around 65% into the text. 

Guide on How to Fail at Online Dating :: 网恋翻车指南 酱子贝 

渣男怎么了？ 渣男多好啊？！ 渣男文可为我写诗！武可啪啪三日！上暖绿茶！下暖萝莉！二十四小时温柔在线！七十二小时暖心待机！恋爱不查短信！分手绝不纠缠！经期会冲红糖！睡前会说晚安！ 天啊！渣男就是这个世界上的宝物！我永远爱渣男！！！ What’s wrong with scum boyfriends? Scum boyfriends are great! Scum boyfriends can write love poems with his pen! Can go for three days with his sword! Delivering warmth to green-tea and loli’s alike! He is online for 24 hours a day, on standby for 72! No checking your phone while dating! No pestering you after breaking up! He can make brown sugar drinks during your period! He’ll tell you ‘goodnight’ before bed! By heavens! Scum boyfriends are treasures of the world! I will love scum boyfriends forever!!! 

[online gaming, cat-fishing, mistaken identities, college-setting] – AKA: “fake green tea vs fake scum boyfriend.” Jing Huan poses as a girl in an online game to catfish the Big Name Player who tricked and hurt his cousin. Meanwhile, Xiang Huaizhi notices photos from the girl who keeps flirting with him in an online game can only be sent by someone at his school, specifically, one underclassman. There is plenty of comedy in Jing Huan’s effort to pose as a girl online, and also plenty of hurt when the truth and deception are laid to bare, but overall this is a sweet college romance with just dash (or maybe a spoonful?) of angst and plenty of humour. (PSA: No knowledge of gaming is needed (I don’t have any) to follow the story.) 

FOG :: FOG[电竞] 漫漫何其多

不喜欢的人的心机才是心机。 喜欢的人的心机，那叫撒娇。 Schemes are only schemes if they are coming from people you don’t like . Schemes from people you like, that's flirting to get your attention. 

 [E-sports, (sort-of?) reconciliation] – My first “E-Sports” novel that focuses on professional competitive gaming (but it’s a fictional game so no prior gaming knowledge needed). As a E-Sports novel, FOG does a great job of portraying the camaraderie between teammates and the youthful passion of the players, while also touching on the cynical and exploitative side of the industry. There is an extremely sad and infuriating backstory that explains how the main couple came to be separated for two years (it’s not their fault), but their relationship is otherwise very sweet. However, I have never seen a story with a tournament arc that ends when the main characters win the quarter-finals … (yes, there are extra chapters, but still …)  

[rudycomics]

Rudy Recs - Smoking Behind the Supermarket

I'm not really sure if I want to get too in the weeds for this manga but the latest 2 chapters (32 and 33) of Smoking Behind the Supermarket by Jinushi have felt like a step up in their craft that really made me pay more attention to the pages.

Spoilers for the manga if you're interested in reading it!

I remember starting this manga thinking that the concept was kind of fun. An older man working at a black company developing a crush on the cashier at his local convenience store, who happens the be the same person as the girl he starts having smoke breaks with outside. He's constantly stressed and a bit clueless and can't recognize that the two women are actually the same, since their on and off the clock appearances are so different.

The style was always pretty unique and charming but I'd say it felt pretty utilitarian in a way: no really intricate compositions or focal length, it's all quite flat and clear.

It looks this way basically all the way up until these latest chapters, with much more detail in hatched shadows, hair detail, and closer compositions that really make you pay attention to the art more-so than before.

The story generally stumbles through Sasaki, the black company employee, and Yamada, the cashier, smoking together after their shifts and getting closer to one another despite their generational gap and Yamada continuing to life the farce of being a separate individual, dubbed Tayama-san. Sasaki is generally clumsy and out of the loop, but his earnestness and easy to read nature makes Yamada continue to poke and prod him, like playing with a pet. She slowly develops an attachment to him because even if he's a bit out there, he's very considerate and gives off an air of someone with life experience that disarms Yamada when she leasts expects it.

There's a big story reveal that on their first meeting, the two both had personal revelations based on their short interaction. We know that Sasaki was charmed by Yamada and her smile (which particularly affected him because he was having an awful day at his job) but Yamada had been struggling with her own job and Sasaki came by and gave her advice that grounded her, yet she doesn't realize that it was Sasaki that was the man who spoke to her that day, only getting a vibe from current Sasaki that feels of a similar energy.

It's only in the most recent 2 chapters that we see both characters feels this nagging urge to want to reach out for companionship in ways that they don't really understand, weighed down by their different circumstances in life.

This ramps up the romantic tension soooo much so quickly that I found it INCREDIBLY gripping! I've been keeping up with this one for a while and it had its charm but suddenly I felt like "ohh, I get a sense for what these characters want and their yearning is so palpable."

The chapters end with this incredibly somber and bittersweet note, these characters are too conscious of the obstacles that keep them from truly being close and open with each other beyond the level they've reached and convince themselves individually that they are drawing a line.

I'm suddenly so interested in how these characters will grow and if they'll find it within themselves to change their minds about what they think they want or even deserve.

To bring it back full circle, I think that if the art is any sort of visual indicator, Jinushi might be taking their little romcom series more seriously and I'm really on board with wherever this story goes next.

[genshinnrambles]

We Have the Raiden Gokaden Downfall All Wrong, Part 2

I was gonna write about Xamaran, but then Kazuha pulled up in the Mystery Machine and told me it was Raiden Gokaden lore time again. Let’s talk about what happened in that story quest, specifically as it relates to the Raiden Gokaden and Scaramouche.

SPOILERS: Acer Palmatum Chapter, Act I: A Strange and Friendless Road (he’s just like me fr), the new Cursed Blade lore, the new Fatui reveal teaser (A Winter Night’s Lazzo), a little bit of the Summer Islands event, Raiden’s Story Quest Part 2, the Irodori Festival event quest, all the Raiden Gokaden lore in existence, and all the Scaramouche lore in existence. You have been warned!

Previous Scaramouche Analyses:

Character Analysis: Scaramouche’s Transient Dream [jan 2022]

The Kamisatos, Scaramouche, and the Rather Aged Notes: A Theory [march 2022]

On Kuronushi, Kunikuzushi, and the Lessons of Irodori [april 2022]

We Have the Raiden Gokaden Downfall All Wrong (the Part 1 of this post) [may 2022]

***EDIT***: in light of ~the 3.1 archon quest~, I’m happy to say I have more clear language to articulate what I was trying to get at here — basically, my argument here or in the previous post was not so much about arguing that Katsuragi could not have been a member of the Niwa Clan, but rather that this fact could not be true at the same time as the theory that the Raiden Gokaden operation being about avenging his death at the hands of Nagamasa. Things are still abundantly unclear in 3.1, but assuming that the illustration and narration of Scaramouche’s back story from 3.1 was not intentionally misleading (which Mhy has done before…….within this same patch, to boot), then I feel vindicated by that cutscene that at the very very least, the Raiden Gokaden operation was in fact not a mission to avenge Katsuragi’s death. Until further information is revealed, I stand by this theory. Also I am so ridiculously happy and heart-broken over Niwa Katsuragi and his resemblance to Kazuha ;___;

DISCLAIMERS:

Despite this post’s heavy focus on Kazuha’s story quest, it will not contain analysis of Kazuha or Kazuha’s character. I have already discussed and analyzed him at length in two other posts (here and here), and those opinions are unchanged based on the content of his quest. I am more interested in the quest’s additions to the Raiden Gokaden lore, its foreshadowing of Scaramouche’s Third Act, and its implications regarding both his past and his future.

My goals are to:

Revisit the arguments made in this post and to a lesser extent this post. As this is a follow-up, it may not make sense without the context of part 1.

Revise some of those arguments with the information presented in “A Strange and Friendless Road.”

Further theorize in new directions by putting this quest in conversation with other lore bits, both new to this version and old.

While this quest was very heavy-handed with its parallels between Scaramouche and Kagotsurube Isshin and the contrast between Scaramouche (or rather, his ideals) and Kazuha, I think there are still ideas worth restating and discussing here, given that these two have been a hot topic since the Irodori Festival.

Because it was so heavy-handed, I feel this quest may serve a few narrative purposes regarding the continuation of the Irodori plot: first, this quest turns Kazuha’s character development and ideas expressed in the Irodori event into permanent content. Therefore, its secondary purpose is also to make Kazuha’s conclusions regarding the story of Kuronushi Kunikuzushi permanent, albeit divorced from the original context of the fall of the Kaedehara Clan. Despite this, his takeaways are largely the same. In the Irodori quest, he decides not to pursue Kunikuzushi, in accordance with his great-grandpa Kaedehara Yoshinori’s wishes, and he also reminds the group of the importance of the present over the past. Rather than pursue a path of vengeance like Kunikuzushi did, Kazuha once again chooses freedom for his heart. 

Ultimately, I interpret this quest as a substitute for a Talk no Jutsu scene between Kazuha and Scaramouche, which many anticipated after Irodori’s conclusions. Personally, I am extremely doubtful that these two will interact in any capacity before Scaramouche gets his head out of his ass, though it would be fun for them to meet in the future. Not everyone will be satisfied with this, but I think this makes the most sense narratively and allows Hoyoverse the creative freedom to conclude Scaramouche’s major character arc in a much more impactful way that is tied to the upcoming Archon Quests in Sumeru, and therefore also tied to the worldbuilding we need to establish as we move into the second half of the game. Maybe that way we get some follow-up to that blasted “the sky is a lie” one-liner nearly *checks watch* 2 years later??? Just a thought :)

Unity Between Blade (Body) and Mind (Heart)

This may sound far-fetched at first, but in fact a very early piece of Inazuma lore that alluded to the story of the Raiden “family” actually likened their story to the traditions of ancient Inazuman blades and their forging arts. This can be found an enemy drop, called the Kageuchi Handguard:

A handguard mounded upon a sword of some distinction.

Inazuma has a long tradition of sword-making. When making swords, smiths will often make several different weapons at once, before choosing from among them the "shinuchi," or the best weapon, while the others are known as "kageuchi."

I wrote a twitter thread about this, which you may read here, but the tl;dr is that within the context of Ei’s puppets, the “shinuchi,” or true blade, is like the Raiden Shogun, while the “kageuchi,” her shadow, is Scaramouche, and this metaphor is further reflected in the history of Makoto (in this case, the “shinuchi”) and her kagemusha Ei (the “kageuchi”). If the handguard alone feels like too much of a stretch, it is more directly addressed in Treasured Tales of the Chouken Shinkageuchi, which tells the story of Makoto and Ei as twin gods of Inazuma:

“No famous craftsman merely forges one blade in one sitting. The greatest of their works are known as "Shinuchi," and are given a lovely name before being offered to the craftsman's lord or deity. These are not built for taking lives and are to remain pure. The others are known as "Kageuchi" and will be given to retainers for them to use as weapons. These will often be used to shed blood and will thus be stained with impurity and filth.

From the day Narukami Gongen, the First Shogun, began her dominion over the land of Inazuma, she was accompanied by her younger twin sister. "Shin" and "Kage," light and dark they were, mediating and holding court, ordering and giving battle. The younger of the two was named "Ei," and if her name were to be written plainly, it would likely be the word for "shadow," which she was in relation to the first Shogun, to whom she would become the successor.”

What is most interesting about this book, other than its contradictory nature regarding the public’s knowledge of Ei and Makoto’s deception, is the fact that it adds a surprising twist to the story we were told by Miko at the end of the Archon Quest: in fact, Ei died in the Archon War to help Makoto ascend to her celestial throne, but then Makoto “reforged her body,” bringing her back to Teyvat as her kagemusha, which is an interesting choice of words to use when we’re talking about recreating an animate being’s body. Though the story itself sounds outlandish compared to Miko’s story, Ei herself confirms its veracity in her own voicelines:

“The account given in the book "Treasured Tales" is largely an accurate one. At that time, she was preoccupied with various domestic matters within the island, so as her kagemusha, I assumed her identity and joined the troops dispatched to pacify Watatsumi. After this point, however, the story turns into mere wishful thinking. Back then, I was just a martial artist wrapped up in all the fighting, not a social reformer or moral leader.” -More About Ei: III

I find this blade-as-body metaphor unsettling given Albedo’s account of his own creation, using the term “pontil mark” to refer to the star on his neck where energy was “blown into” his body:

Albedo: Have you ever seen an intricate glass ornament and wondered how it was made? Well, one method for crafting with glass is a technique known as "glassblowing."

Albedo: Glassblowing is not a widely known art in Teyvat. For this reason, glassware made in this way is usually very expensive.

Albedo: As the name implies, glassblowing involves blowing air into a hole, much like blowing up a balloon.

Albedo: This type of glassware is known for having a "pontil mark" at the point where the blowpipe was inserted, where the hole was sealed at the very end. This mark is a sign that the item was crafted by a human hand.

If creating a synthetic being like Albedo can be compared to a craft like glassblowing, could we not also wonder if the technology Ei used to create her puppets can be compared to blade forging? Note that I don’t mean to equate the blade forging that the Raiden Gokaden performed to the “technology lost to time” that Ei used for her puppets, but only to raise questions about the nature of that technology itself. But regardless of whether this metaphor truly makes sense or not, we can also turn to the story of Musou Isshin itself to further tease it out.

Like Kagotsurube Isshin, Musou Isshin is an Isshin blade, though it precedes Masagomaru and his formal teachings of the Isshin Art to Akame Mitsunaga, Kaedehara Kagemitsu, and Niwa Nagamitsu. Unlike Kagotsurube Isshin, Musou Isshin was “born from Makoto’s divine might,” though the former Electro Archon never used the blade as a weapon. Only upon her death and its change of hands to Ei did Musou Isshin become tainted with the blood of Narukami’s enemies. Shortly after Makoto’s death, Ei would use Musou Isshin as a vessel for her consciousness, and her newly created puppet the Raiden Shogun would serve as a vessel for the blade itself, and therefore also for Ei.

When she connects with Ei, the Shogun’s eyes take on a similar hue to Kazuha’s when he was possessed by Kagotsurube Isshin

The Isshin Art’s central dogma is that the mind must harmonize with the blade from the moment it is forged in order to draw its true strength as “an extension of its wielder’s will.” The Shogun is an extension of Ei’s will to rule Inazuma as an immovable God, and she is the physical manifestation of her dream of stasis. And while the Shogun is no slouch on her own, the two undoubtedly reach a higher plane of strength (that is, not necessarily limited to physical strength) when they harmonize at the end of “Transient Dreams.” Ei achieves a similar harmony with Mussou Isshin during their duel as well, with Ei’s will to change and atone for her mistakes awakening Makoto’s will within Mussou Isshin, thereby fully unleashing the power of that blade. I find this concept interesting to explore in the context of these three characters because the role they play (whether a “blade” or the “mind”) changes depending on which relationship is being examined - Ei as Makoto’s blade, Mussou Isshin as Ei’s blade, the Shogun as Ei’s blade, etc. etc.

With these comparisons established, let’s examine how Scaramouche’s story also reflects the discordance between his artificial body and the Electro Archon’s Gnosis.

Scaramouche, the Sentient Sword

“I do not wish for forgiveness. I only hope that you will see my transgressions as mine alone, and not let them stain the legacy of Isshin Art.”

Nowhere in this quest do the allusions towards “the Case of the Eccentric” become more clear than in our second meeting with Kagotsurube Isshin, who has possessed Amenoma Yuuya’s body. Like in Part 1, I think parts of these scenes with Kagotsurube Isshin deserve a close reading to demonstrate this blade’s parallels with Scaramouche and his ideals so that we can try to understand Scaramouche’s intentions better:

Prized Isshin Blade: Many, many years ago, I was forged by a famed bladesmith of the Isshin tradition. I was his pride and joy, in me, he placed all his hopes and dreams.

Prized Isshin Blade: As a descendant of the Kaedehara Clan, you should be able to guess our greatest regret.

Kaedehara Kazuha: I presume it has something to do with the Raiden Gokaden.

Prized Isshin Blade: Indeed. At that point in time, he failed to live up to the Raiden Shogun's expectations. In the end, all he could do was to flee the nation by sea, on a ship bound for Snezhnaya.

Prized Isshin Blade: He was a bladesmith of great renown, a master of his craft! There was nothing that he could not accomplish! All he needed was more time, and a little faith.

Prized Isshin Blade: And sure enough, in the end, he achieved what he had set out to do. All of his life's work — his wisdom, his skill — it culminated in his creation of me.

Some initial analysis housekeeping: Kagotsurube Isshin is representative of two things here, both Scaramouche and Scaramouche’s delusion. When I say delusion, I do not mean the things the Fatui manufactures, but delusional thoughts. Likewise, Kagotsurube Isshin’s creator, Akame Kanenaga, can represent both Scaramouche and Ei. I will focus on how the creator represents Scaramouche and the blade represents his twisted world view, but just know there is at least one other layer of meaning beneath that.

When Ei created Scaramouche, a prototype of the Raiden Shogun puppet, she likely initially intended her puppet to have the ability to store the Gnosis. However, Scaramouche shed tears in his sleep and could not perform the task Ei had in mind. She sealed his power and let him sleep in Shakkei Pavillion, abandoning this design idea altogether and left the Gnosis with Miko at the Grand Narukami Shrine.

Admittedly, we know very little about what actually transpired in Shakkei Pavillion that is not from Scaramouche’s perspective, but it is commonly inferred from the Husk of Opulent Dreams artifact lore and the Surpassing Cup lore that Scaramouche 1) views the Gnosis, and his ability to hold it, as the reason for his existence, 2) that he views Ei with contempt for abandoning him, and 3) continued to pursue the Gnosis to fulfill that purpose. It’s still difficult to say with any confidence what his motives truly are besides his desire to feel emotions, but the text lends itself to the interpretation that he also wants to show Ei that he is capable of holding the Gnosis as intended - that he is not “weak.” 

Prized Isshin Blade: He not only bestowed upon me the greatest of strength, but also endowed me with a consciousness of my own.

Prized Isshin Blade: In her conceit, the Raiden Shogun lost not only the single most perfect blade in the entire world, but also an irreplaceable achievement in the art of blade-forging!

Prized Isshin Blade: The people of the time in which I was born never believed I had that kind of power. They saw me as a mere blade – a sharp and well-crafted one, but in all other respects an ordinary weapon. Hmph, but that gave me the opportunity to take action.

Prized Isshin Blade: After the death of my creator, I decided to leave Snezhnaya, and began my long quest to return to the distant land of Inazuma. Moving from one person to the next, I controlled the minds of countless hosts along the way, each bringing me one step closer to my ancestral home.

Prized Isshin Blade: I seek but one thing: to face the full force of the Raiden Shogun’s blade, and prove my power, the might of Isshin Art!

I find this recurring theme of Isshin blades having space for consciousness rather fascinating, particularly in the context of the previous section’s analysis of the Raiden family, but let’s not go there for now. The first portion of this passage gestures towards the Surpassing Cup, where Scaramouche laments that he is a divine creation cast aside like “worthless dross.” One interpretation of the final sentence could be that Scaramouche’s goal in eradicating the Raiden Gokaden was primarily to demonstrate his worth to Ei through power, and maybe also to face off against her, though I doubt it’s meant to be taken literally.

If Kagotsurube Isshin represents Scaramouche’s delusions, then this passage also makes clear that it is Scaramouche who had to buy into them and give them a life of their own. He cannot think rationally about his life, and he cannot face reality. He can only focus on his single-minded, selfish, destructive goal: attaining the “heart” he was born to hold. In a later passage, Kagotsurube Isshin says as much: “Facing reality offers me nothing! I have no need of anything that would stand in my way. Not hesitation, not reflection, and certainly not your so-called-reality!”

Kaedehara Kazuha: Tell me, what happens to those you've possessed when you've finished using them?

Prized Isshin Blade: My hosts? Who cares what happens to them. They are but tools that serve my mission.

Prized Isshin Blade: When they got tired, or injured, or unusable, I hopped to the next one in line. All I needed them for was to take me back to Inazuma.

...

Prized Isshin Blade: After I returned to Inazuma, I decided to bide my time in Nagato's warehouse, until Amenoma Yuuya handed himself over to me on a silver platter.

Prized Isshin Blade: At long last, I am approaching my journey's destination. By Amenoma Yuuya's body I have found you, and by your hand I shall defeat the Raiden Shogun!

Prized Isshin Blade: Kaedehara Kazuha, you stood against the Raiden Shogun's Musou no Hitotachi. There can be no other to serve as my host for what is to come.

It can be difficult to tell with Scaramouche when he is a puppet in a given situation and when he is a puppet master. Perhaps the key here is honoring that he is often both, though I feel his role as a puppet master is often overemphasized to the detriment of seeing how he also allows himself to be used by others. Both must be appreciated at the same time to recognize the extent of his folly.

Kaedehara Kazuha: You wanted to reach a state of harmony with me. For perhaps then, you would still be able to wield commendable power.

Here it must be stated that Kazuha represents two things in this metaphor as well - the Gnosis, and the ideal of true freedom. What Scaramouche believes he needs to prove himself is to obtain and master the Gnosis, and he seems absolutely hellbent on doing so. Indeed, there is no room for failure where this is concerned. Even after obtaining it, even after he realizes it is not what he truly desires, he insists on keeping it - or he “would no longer be able to feel anything at all.” What Kazuha points out, however, is that this has no basis in reality, and ignores the context in which these events have come to pass. Kagotsurube Isshin is not truly in control of the situation - he is exhausted, he is broken, and he is backed into a corner.

Kaedehara Kazuha: Your fighting style... it is indeed the forms of Isshin Art.

Kaedehara Kazuha: But from your movements, I sense only hatred and arrogance, as well as a thinly veiled mania and despair.

…

Kaedehara Kazuha: If you ask me, the mania is probably due to your desperate, single-minded ambition. You believe I am your only hope.

Prized Isshin Blade: Are you trying to claim that I am helpless without you?

Prized Isshin Blade: On his deathbed, he passed to me all of Isshin Art's secrets. The little that you know barely scratches the surface.

Prized Isshin Blade: In that regard, why would I ever need your help?

Kaedehara Kazuha: Because all of that is in the past.

Kaedehara Kazuha: I've been wondering why you've not caused more trouble in all the years that you've been in Inazuma, if you are indeed a cursed blade that can possess its owner.

Kaedehara Kazuha: Now that I've seen inside your mind, everything finally makes sense. You weren't biding your time... you were trapped.

Prized Isshin Blade: Hmph...

Kaedehara Kazuha: After all the time that's passed, you have grown weak, to the point that you are now unable to acquire a new host without making physical contact.

…

Prized Isshin Blade: Hmph, what of it!

Kaedehara Kazuha: Well, that brings me to my second point. There's a despair in you that is so strong, it threatens to overwhelm you.

…

Kaedehara Kazuha: You returned to Inazuma to prove the unparalleled brilliance of Isshin Art. But to make this arduous journey, you committed countless atrocities, and showed a blatant disregard for human life.

Kaedehara Kazuha: Even if you were to sever that divine light... is this truly the outcome that your maker would have desired?

…

Kaedehara Kazuha: How could you possibly unleash the full potential of Isshin Art, when you act in perfect discordance with the principle of harmony between a blade and its bearer?

You get my drift, lots of Talk no Jutsu. I won’t repeat myself here, but if you’re interested in reading some power analysis of Scaramouche and his relationship to the Fatui, I did so in a character analysis and in a close reading of the delusion factory cutscene.

Paimon: Is this the same blade as before!? It looks like a piece of junk!

Traveler: The wear and tear is severe. It really looks like it’s about to break.

The Raiden Gokaden Downfall, Revisited

Regardless of the true role Scaramouche played in the Raiden Gokaden’s downfall, whether he was the mastermind or a puppet or some combination of both, the Fatui’s involvement as a whole is confirmed by Kujou Kamaji and further solidified by the Cursed Blade weapon lore. Those bladesmiths who heeded Kunikuzushi’s warning and abandoned their forging arts later fled to Snezhnaya to avoid judgment from the Shogunate, suggesting that this operation did indeed run deeper than Scaramouche’s personal revenge mission. Why would the Fatui offer asylum to these bladesmiths in the first place? What did they have to gain here? It certainly would not be out of the goodness of their hearts. 

“We later learned that the whole misadventure had been secretly orchestrated by the Fatui. Attributing all of the blame to the Kamisato and Kaedehara Clans was neither proper nor just.”

My only guess at this moment is largely the same as what I proposed in part 1: the Fatui wanted to destabilize Inazuma and get their hands on Jade Steel, which would allow them to study Tatarigami as an energy source and material for the massive manufacturing of delusions, which would later be put into place as a part of the Vision Hunt Decree operation. Alternatively, maybe they just planned to recruit them as soldiers, similar to what they did with dismissed Shogunate officials after the Vision Hunt Decree was repealed, but I also find this explanation too small for our favorite antagonists.

As for Scaramouche’s personal investment in this part of the plan, I find it only questionable at best. Knowing that he had the entirety of the Fatui behind him in this operation, I still find it improbable that he was not being used.

Katsuragi and the Niwa Clan, Revisited

Through it all, I am still not convinced that Katsuragi was the main reason for Scaramouche’s decision to end the Raiden Gokaden schools, and therefore I do not think that, if the Katsuragi = Niwa Clan theory holds true, he ended the mission because he was confronted with someone of that lineage. That is, he did not end the operation because of who is in the Niwa clan, but because of what that clan represents to Scaramouche. I will explain more in just a bit. I do think that Katsuragi’s death was “the final straw” for his younger self, making him prioritize power and cruelty over kindness, and that this is what made him susceptible to joining an organization like the Fatui. 

Presuming that I’m correct in saying the main motivation for the Raiden Gokaden’s downfall was not Katsuragi’s death, but in fact Scaramouche’s single-minded ambition to demonstrate his power and worth to Ei, then I have to wonder once again what the significance of the Niwa Clan is to him to end such a grandiose scheme, especially since he was not acting alone. I still don’t have any solid answers for this or the Kaedehara Yoshinori scene, however I do have further speculation based on a throwaway lore bit from the quest. The Niwa Clan specialized in a practice called clay tempering, a Japanese forging technique for “tempering” the overly-sharp parts of a katana by coating these parts in clay before performing the heat treating and quenching steps of the blade forging process (I am no expert on this, so please read here for more details c: ). If the blade is too sharp, it will be too brittle and break easily. The idea of clay tempering, therefore, is that a blade requires a fine balance of sharpness and flexibility in order to be a truly great sword. Sound a little familiar by now?

If his body can be compared to a blade, then Scaramouche would be an overly sharp blade, as he has prioritized strength (anger) and his reason for existence (the gnosis) over his psyche for nearly 500 years. Scaramouche is among the least emotionally flexible characters in the game - he lacks resilience in the way that Kazuha is overflowing with it. Rather than giving him the strength he desired, his choices have hurt him over and over again, and now that he has acquired the heart he has always wanted, I would wager that if the metaphor holds true, then he is nearing that physical breaking point. So, I wonder if encountering Kaedehara Yoshinori, a descendant of the Niwa Clan, was a reminder of temperance as a form of strength?

And if that is the case, maybe it was the reminder of those principles that stopped him in his tracks and made him hesitate, if only briefly. And if he was initially taught those principles by “the kind young deputy,” I wouldn’t be surprised at all.

The Warehouse Thief, Briefly Revisited

Another mystery from before was the ambiguity surrounding the warehouse thief’s identity in the Irodori Festival. While the warehouse thief’s identity being anyone other than Scaramouche didn’t really make any sense to me, it’s undeniable that descriptions of this thief left room for interpretation:

Kuronushi's Likeness: (The way Ayato puts it, it seems that the person who tried to furtively search for the secret was a Fatui spy. But "who" would want to hide Kunikuzushi's past?)

The other issue is that this thief was quite clumsy compared to how we’ve previously encountered Scaramouche. In Unreconciled Stars, he concealed his true intentions from the party and was only thwarted by Mona’s foresight. He is chillingly deceptive, and capable of switching seamlessly between personas depending on the situation. But in Kazuha’s story quest, Kagotsurube Isshin is only growing weaker and weaker, even after Kazuha wields him in battle. I wonder if the Gnosis is weakening Scaramouche too, and that his carelessness in raiding the warehouse reflects that. But, this is largely baseless speculation for now.

Final Thoughts

Considering we’ve been given Scaramouche crumbs for damn near every patch since his last actual in-game appearance in September 2021 (totally not bitter), I would be seriously shocked if his arc is not nearing its end. This is further supported by the lore dump that was A Winter Night’s Lazzo. Though the focus of the teaser is Signora’s funeral, the issue of Scaramouche and the Gnosis is also raised by Capitano, to which Dottore cooly replies: “Conventional wisdom holds that Divine Knowledge cannot rationally be comprehended. After conquering the divine gaze, he will make his next move.” Several things stick out to me about this remark: first, this teaser is very clearly meant to not only drip market the Harbingers, but also give the players a taste of what is to come in the Sumeru patches and beyond. The fact that Scaramouche is mentioned here, I think, is no coincidence at all and indicates he will be highly involved in the upcoming Archon Quest in Sumeru. Second, Dottore’s comment seems to foreshadow that if Scaramouche will indeed conquer the divine gaze of the Gnosis, it will be a major breaking point in what sanity he has left. What will he learn from that amiable husk? This is where the Traveler and Paimon come in.

Rather than foreshadowing an ideological or physical showdown between Kazuha and Scaramouche, I believe the Raiden Gokaden subplot was foreshadowing the more likely route of the Traveler vs. Scaramouche. I’m neutral to the Traveler overall, but I do think there is no person better suited to this task than them.

Kaedehara Kazuha: If a blade built for Isshin Art cannot enter a state of harmony between blade and bearer, it cannot unleash its true power.

Kaedehara Kazuha: If he wants to avoid reality, then we need to fight until he has no choice but to face it. He shouldn’t last long in an intense combat situation.

But, I don’t think his boss fight will disappoint. I’m expecting something truly epic.

Lastly, Kazuha’s story quest concludes with Kagotsurube Isshin possessing Kazuha’s body to reforge the blade, so that it may shine again. If this metaphor does extend to the physical condition of Scaramouche’s body, I wonder if he’ll need some similar “repairs”? 

Kaedehara Kazuha: When the heart is clear, the world is too. And when the heart is unladen, the same is true.

….And that’s all I got. To be honest, this is probably the last if not the second-to-last analysis I will ever do of Scaramouche because 1) I’ve said all I need to say, 2) writing analysis for him is very stressful because I care a lot about his character and don’t want to get him wrong, and 3) I truly do think that his lore is winding down and is going to conclude with major worldbuilding information such as the nature of the false sky and the Gnosis, and to be totally real, that stuff is not my forte. Gonna leave those to the experts. So, assuming this is the end of the Mouchey posts, thank you for reading and coming on the journey with me :) I am very excited to see how this all pans out.

[yuexuan]

[Review]七天七夜

Title: 七天七夜 Seven Days, Seven Nights

Author: 春风遥

Length: 165 chapters + 6 extras

Tag: Unlimited flow, supernatural, comedy

Summary [taken from novelupdates]:

‘Seven Days, Seven Nights’. Initially, he had thought it was forbidden due to explicit rated contents (er*tica). In order to survive, he behaved so unrestrained he was basically flying. Later — I’ve already flown out of the sky and only now you tell me it’s an ‘unlimited flow’ horror novel?!

Novel | Novel [translated]

Comments *contains spoilers**

There was a rumored book called ‘Seven Days, Seven Nights’ that was banned for allegedly explicit content. Strangely, despite how viral it was, no one had actually read the book. Except perhaps Su Er (MC)’s deskmate. One day, said deskmate went missing, leaving him with nothing but a mysterious taser. Upon touching the taser, he was transported into the world of Seven Days, Seven Nights. Turns out this wasn’t an erotica novel, but a series of games. The mechanics of the games were simple: each game had a ghost boss and a host that oversaw the rules of the games, and players had a maximum of seven days, seven nights to complete the game. Follow along as MC flew through the games with flying colors, much to the horror of the game bosses and hosts.

Main highlights of the novel include:

The MC. I freaking love the MC. He can best be described by the words: 浪 and 贱, just someone full of chaotic energy. He wasn’t afraid of being cringe and his approach to each game was basically taking the unconventional route and finding loopholes in the rules. Where other players shied away from the bosses and hosts, he married or adopted them. And when none of these worked, he opted to destroy the games. At one point the hosts became so afraid of MC that they developed an insurance package to cover the risks of MC ruining the game lol.

Due to MC’s unconventional ways of handling the games, the novel was highly entertaining, despite all of its shortcomings. Despite being an unlimited flow novel, the story was light-hearted. Sure, players do still die, but in terms of the overall tone and plot outcomes, it stayed pretty comedic throughout. So if you want to try out an unlimited flow story that doesn’t require too much brain power, I’ll say this might be an entertaining read.

Aside from the MC, I also enjoyed reading about the different hosts. Unlike game NPCs, they were all so full of personalities and had their own methods of maintaining the rules of the games and dealing (or failing to) with MC’s antics. Their exasperation, frustration, and pure despair were fun to read about. My fave would have to be Mr. Chinese Rose. He seemed like such a stern host but was a big softie, adopting the numerous little mud people that MC created~

Things I don’t like

Now as much as I found the novel entertaining, there was also a lot to nitpick about. One thing that irked me was the writing style. The scenes tended to jump from one to the next without being fully elaborated on, making for a disjointed reading experience. There were many moments where I went “wait, how did we get here from the previous scene??”. That said, it got easier to read later on, though I’m unsure if it was because the writing got better or that I got used to the writing.

Of all the unlimited novels, this one has a weaker worldbuilding. Most of the games didn’t have a very coherent setting and were composed of random horror elements. In one game you might have parasitic invasion, ghosts, taoists, buddhist monks, and mummies all put together. It’s just very random and the full potential of the game mechanics were not explored. For example, all players have spiritual, martial, and seductive points. But beyond the initial mention in the story, these points barely played a role in the latter parts.

Also as a heads-up, if you are entering into this for romance, there is practically none lol. Generally I’m used to romance being a more subtle and secondary element in unlimited flow stories. But this novel barely had any romantic plot points and ML didn’t have a prominent role other than being a conveniently strong teammate for MC.

[300iqprower]

So I was playing Elden Ring and just noticed how every boss is literally weakened by the passage of time. Is this a thing in all Fromsoft games? Elden Ring is the first one I've played and it's fascinating how Fromsoft made it a point to show bosses facing their end because they've been eroded by time.

Is that a thing mechanically? Like I know its open world so do the bosses you choose to do later get scaled down/dont scale to your new level to make it so the later you do a boss the weaker they are? If that's what you mean, no that is an Elden Ring thing.

If you mean lorewise, does the game show how these are ancient beings who are long past their prime and at best a hollow shell of what they once were pretending to be the legend described, oh yes that is very much a FromSoftware thing. And I dont know WHY IN GOD’S NAME I felt a need to systematically break down some examples, but I super did. So here we fcking go.  [BUT THATS YOUR TLDR: “YES.” WTF IS WRONG WITH ME THE REST OF THIS IS LIKE 4K WORDS. Oh and sorry in advance for the length before the break but it only lets ya put one Keep Reading i guess...]

Gonna put a spoiler break only later on for heavy spoilers. In the meanwhile there will be light spoilers for Dark Souls 1, 2, 3, and Bloodborne. There will be no Elden Ring or Sekiro spoilers in this post (albeit only cause I've avoided spoiling myself as much as possible on both lol)

Again, the answer is basically “yes.” Like, that is Fromsoft design 101. That has been the core philosophy of every final boss across Dark Souls, Demon's Souls, and Bloodborne. Hell, most bosses in the series in general. It's even a thing in Sekiro, albeit a lot of it is presented very differently (As far as I am anyways. See above.)

> Light spoilers for Bloodborne follow.

Father Gascoigne, the first mandatory boss of Bloodborne, sets the tone very well for this sort of thing. Hunters are very clearly supposed to be the ones who keep order and cull the insane and the beasts during the Night of the Hunt, and when you encounter the only named Hunter thus far it starts out exactly like that, finding a priest in a graveyard with the same weapons you start with, dressed similarly to the default Hunter's attire and hacking at a beast...except, it becomes immediately apparent that it’s already long dead, less a hunter killing prey and more a butcher obsessed with a carcass. Upon noticing you, a fellow hunter, he says “Beasts All Over The Shop…..You’ll be one of them….Sooner Or Later….”

before turning around and revealing he's blindfolded as he lets out a raspy, feral growl. ...And then halfway through the fight he turns into a fucking werewolf.

Yeah, despite being a Fromsoft game, Bloodborne is very quick to make clear what's going on in it. Between the insane mob of villagers, the werewolves running around, the giant roaring abomination that's supposedly a Cleric, and now the first fellow hunter you meet (one working for the Church that is supposed to be the governing authority no less) is as crazed as the beasts themselves and several times as deadly in his brutality, this is clearly a place that has gone to hell long ago, and Gascoigne already told you why: "Sooner or later, you'll be one of them too." Between Gascoigne turning into a beast moments after telling us we'll eventually be one ourselves, and the cryptic lines from our hub dream world about how this is all happened before and is a tradition that will continue, it's pretty clear Bloodborne is about ‘he who fights monsters’ in the most literal sense, and it demonstrates that by having you fight people who have been fighting monsters for far too long to hold onto who they were. This world where crusading hunters once took up arms to defend their home from a plague of beasts are now as bloodlusted as the beasts themselves, to the point where the second mandatory boss ALSO transforms from human to monster before our eyes.

It's really the DLC that goes all in on this idea though. without properly spoiling anything (this is all stuff that is literally in the official description and its CALLED The Old Hunters), names that you heard lauded as great heroes finally make their appearance proper...but as twisted and broken beings who bear no resemblance to their legends and every resemblance to the things they were meant to destroy.

> Light to moderate spoilers for DS3.

You know how Elden Ring does that thing at the start where it shows you all these long fallen characters you yourself will eventually encounter and stuff? Yeah that’s something of a staple of Fromsoftware, specifically what they did with DS1 and 3. While 1 is a lot more coy about it and waits til like the halfway point, though, 3 makes it clear it’s doing the same thing DS1 did right out the gate. “The world is dying, you’re gonna face these guys, and you’re gonna catch on quick they’re all mere shadows of the legends they’re meant to be, in fact we are literally telling you this in the intro.”

And much as I love taking any chance whatsoever to rave about how the best boss in the entire series is The Abyss Watchers, it’s actually everyone’s favorite DS3 meme Yhorm the Giant who takes it. He’s possibly the most built up of all the bosses: Last of the giants and their king, a being who can’t even be killed by the weapons of men, a descendant of a conqueror and a warriors king in his own right...now nothing but a mindless, burnt out husk quietly waiting for death on a subconscious level. He once wielded a greatshield but now two-hands his sword, having long since stopped acting as a ruler in the face of all he’s lost and becoming nothing more than a weapon. Long ago he would give the Storm Ruler, the giant-slaying sword, to those who did not trust him to rule as an act of honor; now it lies carelessly strewn alongside his throne, and Yhorm will attempt to crush you long before you reach it. His one friend Siegward joins you because he knew from the start Yhorm would be like this, and seeks to put the husk out of its misery, even if it costs him his life. Siegward makes clear he would rather die than let his once friend Yhorm spiral ever further into a decay that he is too great to be consumed by yet not great enough to escape, and that’s the entire point. Greatness is a curse, not a blessing. Immortal Life can do nothing to stop the world around you from succumbing to erosion and decay. Just as Yhorm awoke from kindling to find his people still suffered, just as his empire inevitably fell and left him alone, so too did the entire world begin to die as the fire faded ever further. Hollowing is inevitable, because you will always be powerless against entropy in the end. Yhorm knows this beyond any other Lord of Cinder. Whereas the others all went astray in their selfishness or simply went insane from corruption, Yhorm is the one who truly despaired and simply...gave up, on trying to hold onto what he was. His body persisted as a hollowed husk of a once incredible being, but the mind within it died in the face of an immutable reality. Even in gameplay he’s just a walking shell, one of the easiest boss fights in sosulborne history thanks to him having kept a weapon designed for killing him at his side; the Storm Ruler isn’t some measly damage buff against an enemy type, this thing kills him in like 5 hits. From the start you weren’t ‘fighting’ something that was meant to be fought, but to be put down.

> Moderate spoilers for DS1 (middle third of the game or so)

DS1 arguably has the most wide scale example of this, since the entire point of the game is that every major boss is a once great god gone astray, and you have an entire city demonstrating this. At the start of the game we’re shown all these incredible being of old, and it’s made out as if we’re watching legends who created the world give us context on our upcoming adventure. These beings are made out as distant entities so much greater than any of us, meant to be acted in the name of as we kill dragons and stuff. But then, around the third to halfway point, it becomes clear we’ll be fighting them ourselves, and these ‘distant almighty gods’ have fallen from their glory and become what are simply more monsters to be cut down. Nito the lord of the dead is least changed but acts entirely in self interest at this point, dwelling the dark catacombs after imposing the very concept of death onto the world and not caring the slightest for what came after, to the point that what truly weakens him is not Pinwheel’s fucking about, but rather the sheer energy he is putting out to impose the concept of death onto an ever more undead world. The Witch of Izalith? Where to start, how about the fact that in her hubris of thinking she could recreate the first flame, that as a being who had lost their glory she could simply recreate that glory, she turned herself into a horrid abomination and shit-tier boss fight? Because of COURSE that happened. How could you reclaim the height of your power when even at the height of your power you could not hold onto it? How about Seath? Oh the things to say about Seath, what can we call him? Cruel, Jealous, Spiteful, literally and figuratively jaded, insane, pathetic, but of all the things we can call him those things are not “glorious” or “immortal”. He became desperate for the immortality he supposedly “proved” he didnt need by killing his scaled brethren. From declaring he did not need his peers’ immortality, to going insane over his obsession with cloying at whatever possible escape from death there might be.

From Nito’s indifference to Izalith’s hubris to Seath’s madness, they are all fallen in their own way. All their attempts to hold onto their glory only serve to further remove them from it. So many millennia and the god of Death has only become weaker as the world dies. The Witch’s magic that is meant to bend chaos to its will could only damn its wielder in the face of nature’s course. The crystal dragon’s immortality is exactly that: crystal, the fruits of his cruelty and madness nothing more than a feeble crystal easily shattered.

But to loop it all back around, it’s the final bosses of the series who really hammer the theme of ‘faded glory’ home.

> Major spoilers for DS1, DS2, and Demon’s Souls to follow, starting with DS1.

First though....Hey remember that bit I casually dropped about an entire city? You arrive to Anor Londo, carried from desolate undead asylum or the dregs of Blighttown to a great golden city illuminated perpetually by the sunset, powerful knights and cleric giants all over the place, lightning and miracle using enemies whose powers are synonymous with Gwyn’s legacy, and at the end of that gauntlet are Ornstein and Smough in their golden armor and every bit tough and lively as their legends portray. Beyond them, you meet the beautiful Gwynevere who gives you the Lordsoul to truly start your quest for the gods in linking the flame. Even if the gods are all fallen or helpless on their own, we can at least see the legacy they created and hopefully spread through the land. We can at least bring this light back to the rest of the world, knowing it can still be sustained.

Except, that was a lie. It was all a fucking lie. 

A lie orchestrated by one feeble god desperate to maintain a literal illusion of his family’s grandeur. A god whose main tactic should you fight him is to run away forever in an endless hallway and blast you with magic because he’s otherwise powerless against a simple human. Should you find and successfully kill Gwyndolin, the magic he cast over the city fades, and we see Anor Londo for what it really is: Dark. The city of the gods, the capital of the Age of Fire that stands against the Dark, has itself gone Dark, and we can’t even begin to imagine for how long it’s been that way. The gods, their cities, their subjects, their champions, all of it is just a shadow cast so long ago that it doesn’t resemble that which cast it, and any evidence that their time hasn’t passed is just another lie you’ve been fed. (...Side note, watch this video I subconsciously almost quoted verbatim)

Thus enters the God who lived and died for that lie, unable to accept a reality in which he did not rule. Thus we meet Gwyn himself....or at least, what little is left of him. Because that guy the game has been building up as your ultimate challenge? That top god who by this point has Final Boss written all over him? That guy who STARTED all this crap and is basically Zeus the Dragon Butcher? Gwyn, Lord of Sunlight?

You don’t fight him. You fight a walking husk, and this time I mean that literally. Burnt inside and out with a body of charcoal and soul of ash. You fight one of the easiest bosses in the game, a boss the devs explicitly stated was designed to make sure any possible build would not struggle much with. You fight a guy who doesn’t have a single lightning attack. You fight Gwyn, Lord of Cinder. And by the next game, he doesn’t even have a name. The one who conquered the everlasting dragons and ushered humanity into their first age is barely a memory in Dark Souls 2, simply known as a distant sun god; his own miracles that were so crucial to his legacy don’t even acknowledge him. The one person we meet who remembers he properly existed regards Gwyn as a blind fool who did not save humanity, but damn it.  And by Dark Souls 3, Gwyn isn’t even his own being, he’s just one of many nameless souls to link the first flame. 

Once the most powerful of all gods and savior of humankind, now no more valued than the random undead schmuck you played as. Without a doubt the one you see fall the furthest in any Fromsoft game is Gwyn, and it’s exactly what he deserved. 

> Onto DS2

Because while Gwyn is the definitive example, he’s not the most extreme example; I’d argue that’s Vendrick. You might disagree since his fall was not as far, but what we saw of him WAS harsher than anything we saw of Gwyn. If not the most extreme, he’s certainly the most tragic, because unlike so many other cases of this in the series, Vendrick knew and accepted that this would happen to him. He’s one of a handful of figures across the series who embody the idea that, among all these legends, the ones truly worth being remembered for their glory are the ones who recognized they must eventually let go of said glory. 

What I mean by “what we saw” is...well, just like Gwyn, Vendrick is built up over the course of the game as the great king and conqueror who ruled over the world you’re travelling around, and while Gwyn is foreshadowed as the big bad, Vendrick is directly made out to be the final boss. You’re given a quest, you overcome trials, and it’s all directly in the name of reaching this ancient tyrannical being who as a mere man conquered giants and reigned dragons. And when you finally go through a gauntlet to reach him and break his seals...

...you’re met with a feeble, shriveled Hollow who can barely drag his sword. 

Gwyn at least gave the player a sense of who he was. He was a husk, and he was weak, but he put up a fight. He was waiting for you, undeniably himself in body if not mind, and commanding the first flame as his own with a blade wreathed in those flames. He stares you down as you enter and rushes you when you approach, his iconic theme playing as he silently lashes out at you. He was a husk, but he was never completely without dignity. Vendrick doesn’t have any of that. He’s hunched and aimlessly wandering his small chamber when you find him, not even attacking until you’ve hit him several times. He has no grand, iconic requiem accompanying his battle. Instead there is the scant few piano chords of a whisper filled dirge fading in and out, as faded as the empty being before your that has thrown away all but his blade and his crown. His robes, his precious ring, all of it cast aside, knowing the fate that awaited him would have no use for them. He’s nothing more visibly imposing than a giant version of the most basic hollows. His only unique abilities are the incredibly durability and raw strength, both of which he can longer wield effectively as one of the most predictable fights in the game; the same bait and strike tactic that works on any starting grunt works just as well on him. The closest thing to a unique attack he has is a single curse spell that represents everything he was trying to defy. 

Gwyn was a far cry of his once glorious self, but he was a proper final boss in atmosphere and presentation if not strength or challenge. There’s no comparison to Vendrick, who is downright unrecognizable and was never your true foe to begin with...just a poor hollow to be put out of its misery...

> But Wait There’s [one] More [thank god]! It’s finally Demon’s Souls time.

Demon’s Souls is very much the Proto-Dark Souls in a lot of ways and how it conveys its themes is no exception. The big thing about soulsborne games is how, as you said at the start of this essay, the things we fight have all been eroded by the passage of time. We don’t see what their true potential is. We never meet them in their full glory. We can only strike down what remains of that faded legend. Even when something like time travel gets involved with various DLCs, we fight things like the Burnt Ivory King and Artorias of the Abyss. Even in the past, the legends we face are already corrupted almost beyond recognition. You simply don’t get to see what their prime is, no matter how curious we may be, because that’s the whole point of the theme of fading glory: You can’t get that back. You can only accept that it’s gone. 

.....Old King Allant is a massive, blitz speed, Final Explosion-ing, soul sucking exception to this. 

Look at this. Look. At. This.  LOOK  AT  THIS  SHIT.

This is not a shell, this is not a husk, there is nothing faded about this Alabaster curb-stomper - he’s practically radiant. Whether he’s something exceptional in difficulty is up to debate, but what isn’t up for discussion is how he’s presented, because every. single. attack. of his radiates power. I’m talking, like, Vergil levels of  P O W E R. He’s got a winged aura of storm winds, he delays his windups only to then lunge forward at breakneck speed, just the way he draws sword to face you gives off raw “I’m going to fuck you up” energy - the sword in question being Soulbrandt, a blade that he never once let go of out of his infatuation with the way it grew in strength as his soul grew darker. He sends shockwave projectiles, not magic sword beams, pure shockwaves from how hard and fast he’s attacking. He almost never gets stunned compared to any other human, he has resistances against just about everything including the ability to shrug off any magic you throw at him, and his own magic is so powerful he can either one-shot explode you or steal your levels as he kills you. Above all else though, he’s brutal. He’ll attack relentlessly and swiftly, taking out anyone who’s relying on heal-tanking or fucking around to find out. There are various exploits as there always are, but for most players, regardless of difficulty he’s the one boss we all fear: The kind where there is no trick, you just have to git gud at learning his patterns and countering them. And that’s the main thing that stick with you, just like with Artorias or Maria or Ludwig or Gael or every single bloody Sekiro boss [and from what I’ve seen almost certainly Melania], there’s a swiftness, brutality, and efficiency that truly conveys the power of this legendary figure you’re up against.

Not bad for an illusion, eh?

Yeah I’ve ignored that bit long enough. Old King Allant, or to give his other name, the False King Allant, is truly worthy of being called a warrior king at the peak of his glory....because he was created to be that. The game’s final boss, King Allant XII, is not some alabaster tyrant who conquers dragons and command the demons. He is something even lower than Vendrick in its own way, a mass of mutated, inhuman flesh that pulses and can barely so much as reach out to you let alone strike you, unable to even wield the Soulbrandt fused with its lower carcass, still desperately clinging to it even as the power of the Old One has overwhelmed his physical form. He sought ever more glory, ever more certain his could never fade, and so unlike Gwyn who was puppeted or Vendrick who was hollowed, he became something not just less than human, but unrecognizable as human. We saw him in his glory, and while he retained the strength and power to make that zenith seemingly eternal, intent on and complacent with ruling from his dwelling with the Old One as a mere specter goes forth in his image, when confronted he is not powerful at all. He is, if anything, completely powerless.

Gwyn retained his visage and his dignity, but lost who he was, a burnt husk who possesses none of his own legacy and was doomed to ultimately be forgotten for the very reason of desperately holding onto his glory. Vendrick never ceased to represent that which he believed in, but lost his visage, his dignity, his kingdom, his mind, and his soul, ultimately left with nothing but the acceptance of his own inescapable fate.

Compared to the both of them, Allant is still the most on the nose, because unlike the rest we see that glorious legend. We meet it and fight it before we then deal with the reality of what is left of that same legend. Allant is not a once great, now faded light. He is a blazing pyre snuffed out right in front of our eyes. We go back to back from the peak of his tyrannical and power-mad glory, to a wretched and pathetic abomination pleading for mercy and understanding he does not deserve.

.................................................................................................................................... sigh

There. It’s done.

Ideally I would either now go into how Bloodborne does this amazingly as well with its final boss, but i don't want to spoil it. Not even tagged. Bloodborne has what might be my absolute favorite final boss in all video games, both because of themes discussed here and so many other merits, and I don't want to spoil it for anyone under any circumstance. I don’t care if it’s a 7 year old game (oh god my back), I won’t be the person to spoil that experience for anyone, invested or otherwise. Of course, I could go into the much more willing to spoil Lady Maria because just about EVERYONE knows about her, and from what I’ve seen of Elden Ring she might even have been a sort of “Proof of Concept” for Melania, or I could talk about how Maria is an inverse of this philosophy of “fading glory” and how she stands against the idea of holding onto such…

….but i think i already spent far too long on this, especially when for all i know you were in fact referring to a gameplay mechanic in which case this completely unsolicited WHY DID I WRITE THIS-

[mvalentine]

Sis! I’m here to uno reverse you because I need to know how did Lana feel after the Miami kiss and what happened the next morning 👀 Love you ���️

sis thank you SO much for uno reversing me because i have a LOT of thoughts about this & they’re all extremely messy ❤️

so basically, post the rejection LOGICALLY miss brooks understands his stance and she sees the validity of his point. however, EMOTIONALLY? that girl is a wreck the way she just realized that she had feelings for ethan right before they kissed and now this?? 💀 also she’s definitely slightly toxic for this but she’d rather be the one doing the rejecting than being rejected because that lack of control is TERRIFYING so miss girl is not doing too well!!

ALSO in my hc there’s no partition, no seperate rooms it’s literally just them in a single room with lana on the king size bed and ethan on the twin bed that he demanded requested from the staff so it’s very much awkward. they both get into their nightwear and are laying in the same room not talking, slowly dying on the inside. and then lana is like fuck this and she gets off the bed and opens her suitcase, changes into a cute lil crop & some pants and is about to head out and ethan is SO confused and despite his better judgement he asks ‘where are you going?’ and she says ‘out.’ and then proceeds to walk out the door.

she goes to the pool bar that the fancy hotel has, fully ready to take advantage of its amenities. she’s one drink down when a stranger sidles up next to her ordering a scotch, on the rocks. the last bit catches her attention - ‘ice sullies the flavor you know.’ but he simply smirks and says ‘not necessarily a bad thing.’ it catches her attention, catches off her guard. his eyes are brown, not blue. his demeanor is warm, welcoming & so far removed from the man she’s trying to get off her mind. so they start talking…. and talking ….. until he says ‘i have a room here’ he says, the implication clear as the crystalline waves lulling against the shore. against her better judgment, she follows suit. she doesn’t exactly have the healthiest coping mechanisms. as soon as they’re in, he pushes her against the door— lips molding against hers in a way that feels all wrong— his hair is longer, his stubble rougher, his—- it’s wrong. it’s all wrong. she pushes him away, telling him she can’t do this, his queries ignored as she rushes out the door and back to her own room. ethan is still awake when she gets back, confusion and relief colliding as she gets into bed without a word.

when he wakes up the next day, she’s not there. he keeps missing her all day— almost as if she’s avoiding him (spoiler alert: she definitely is :)) under the guise of professionalism, he asks ines & zaid if they’ve seen lana and they point him to a conference — and she’s there alright. but she doesn’t say a word to him, his attempts at conversation stiff and forced and formal, so unlike the ethan and lana from before. the plane ride back is filled with a similar silence — both of them avoiding the other like the goddamn plague.

this is the outfit she wore to the bar btw (and the outfit that inspired this essay length answer oops)

[mrjoelgarcia9]

Let's Talk #TheLoudHouse: Season 6 Final Thoughts

While it lacked any major changes, Season 6 of The Loud House built upon the fifth season with a variety of highs and lows.

For my thoughts on Season 6, feel free to keep reading. There will be spoilers.

The sixth season for the most part followed up on the fifth's change in the status quo by expanding upon the siblings. It also felt like the writers rectified some of the fifth season's flaws, as there were less episodes about Lincoln at school and more featuring his sisters to varying degrees. Nearly every sibling got an equal amount of episodes and Lily began to play a much more active role.

During the season's absurd length of 14 months, including hiatuses, the show saw both the end of The Casagrandes and premiere of its live action spinoff The Really Loud House. The former's cancelation appeared to occur at some point midseason, giving the show a chance to reintegrate Ronnie Anne and their respective original characters. Their reappearances were basically the spin-off's unproduced episodes, especially by how the Louds were often sidelined.

For Ronnie Anne, it marked her first appearance on the show since Season 4. It also followed up on the spin-off's finale with Bobby now living in his own apartment and Lori finally meeting his father Arturo.

Season 6 also surpassed The Fairly OddParents to become the third longest-running Nicktoon, with the season finale "Love Stinks" surpassing that show's individual segment count. It is an impressive feat considering how it took ten seasons over multiple hiatuses and inconsistent episode orders for OddParents to reach that goal, while this show did it after only six seasons with no breaks.

When it comes to the season's best episodes, there were a few.

The Taunting Hour: Seeing how people can't stand the family made this come across as an unofficial response by the show's writers to their online detractors.

Time Trap!: After teasing the concept, the show finally embraces time travel in a half-hour episode in the vein of Back to the Future.

Puns and Buns: A rare episode focusing on a supporting character, in this case Luan's boyfriend Benny.

Small Blunder: Lily plays an active role in this episode and for the first time ever speaks in full sentences.

Fashion No Show: This felt like a salvaged story from The Casagrandes, especially by how Carlota plays a bigger role compared to Leni. It finally offered the opportunity for the two fashionistas to clash in the perfect premise.

Despite those positives, there were still several bad ones.

Sofa, So Good: A retread of the ending of "Come Sale Away", right down to the siblings running around town, the only difference being Lily getting involved in lieu of Lori.

Eye Can't: A lackluster Lisa story that sets up a conflict about her eyesight but instead focuses too much on her robot Todd.

Sleepstakes: Lana's fears about sleepovers could have worked better with a sibling whose friends have previously appeared, such as Lucy, Lincoln, or even Lori (albeit the latter two as flashbacks).

Food Courting: This was straight up boring, and the most memorable thing to come out of it was a GIF of an excited Leni.

Doom Service: It tries to turn Vic (a recurring character) into an ongoing antagonist. Instead, it just comes across as being written by a fanfic writer who hated the show only to then be hastily rewritten to have a happy ending.

If there is anything else left to say about Season 6, it was overall enjoyable. Possibly the only other thing to say would be that it would have been great to see more stories with Luna and Sam as well as Benny and Luan.

Season 7 will be much shorter, with only 20 half-hour episodes rather than the usual 26. It remains to be seen if the show will get an eighth season. Considering Really got renewed for a second season and has an upcoming Halloween TV movie, the recently announced Casagrandes movie, and a second animated film (unintentionally confirmed via a LinkedIn profile), it is only a matter of time.

It will also break another record. At some point during Season 7, the show will surpass the episode count of the original Rugrats. By the end of Season 7, The Loud House will become the second longest-running Nicktoon (by episode count).

As for the upcoming season, it will feature the show's first serialized arc where the Louds go on a road trip. Within those episodes, they will visit not only Great Lakes City (the setting of The Casagrandes) but also the White House.

Hopefully, Season 7 will feature more great episodes and preferably less vitriol from certain commentators.

Until next time, thank you for reading!

[uss-hephaestus]

parallels between gotg vol 3 and wolf 359 specifically finale and episode 41 memoria are driving me fucking insane (in a good way)

spoilers for both under cut

apologies its ramble-y and scattered

starting off strong with the rag tag team (gotg/hepheastus crew) against a higher, more powerful perfectionist force trying to remake life in their image of perfectionism (pryce and carter/high evolutionary). great. great start I LOVE IT but it does resonate. very much. and rockets arc is very hera in nature. created by pryce/high evolutionary. fighting their alphanumeric designations by asserting their names (unit 214/89p13) against their creators. like COME ON. the only difference is that the high evolutionary had some degree of respect and usage for rocket while pryce completely lacked any sort of respect for hera despite her ability ESPECIALLY post memoria. lol. but generally too just the overlap between pryce and carter/high evolutionary i can't get over. i know H.E. was injured pretty greatly but the whole replacing parts of the body/integrating tech and biology? sooooo miranda pryce. and the whole gamora amnesia is giving finale doug . ik that was established before hand but still.

the reverence of human music and art. in the case of wolf it wasnt the antagonist but bob. but same w H.E. in gotg. that scene where rocket was a baby basically and listening to music. and generally how gotg treats music throughout the film . and overall the protagonist "natural life is imperfect, beautiful, vulnerable and meaningful" vs antagonist "flaws must be perfected" and willing to go such extreme lengths to recreate the world !! (completely destroying entire planets i.e. w/ mines??? explosives in gotg and decima in w359

plus the ending... going separate ways in the end, uncertain how it actually pans out but gives you a good idea of character ambitions post action. like even the ending was similar in structure with the distinction you at least get a little bit of an idea what quill does when he gets back to earth.

other small ones include doug/quill alcoholism, specimen 34/those teethy monsters in gotg looking way more harmful than they actually are, and gamora/kepler eventually warming up to the rest of the crew when they realize how dire the stakes are.

JUST SAYING in a universe where doug eiffel made it to earth happily and . he is obviously watching mcu . just like me fr

[ducktapebar]

65 fic

SPOILER WARNINGS FOR 65!

TW: mild blood, subtle mention of suicidal thoughts

An Mills x reader fic

Chapter: 1, The Crash

Two months prior the exploratory mission:

You were training to accompany Mills on his mission. He would be on a two year exploratory mission. This was due to the promised triple salary, enough money to pay to treat and cure his daughter. His sole reason for agreeing to leaving so long. Deep down though he was afraid. He was afraid of losing Nevine during the trip. Afraid he wouldn’t see her again. He met you on the sandy beaches that he so often went to with Alya and Nevine. It had open space- perfect for practice shots. Now his blaster gun wasn’t powered on bullets or ammo. This one was rechargeable. It went off powerful charges that delivered a powerful blast on impact. Perfect for if danger was encountered. Its blast was strong enough to penetrate most surfaces. He spotted you waiting for him as he went to you “hey Y/N” he greeted. His brown eyes soft and tired. His shoulder length hair a bit messy- but it often was. It always looked so soft to you. He towered over you basically as he went to your side.

You smiled “hey Mills” you greeted him. At one time you had addressed him as sir or commander. However he had insisted otherwise, finding the titles too formal for your friendship. He also just preferred more casual greetings. But he did accept Commander from others if absolutely necessary. He had trained at the academy and had become a pilot, from there he became one of the top pilots in Somaris. He was well mastered in the technologies of the ships the planet had, he had flown missions before. He had rose in ranks quickly due to his skills. In time reaching the rank of commander, and being entrusted with one of the planet’s longest missions yet. This was a mission to explore a new system and check for life signs. Upon his return he would be well paid. Though he had received some payment upon accepting the mission.

“How have you been? How’s the family?” You asked him. You were almost tentative because you knew of Nevine being sick. How worried Mills often was, despite how hard he tried hiding it. He looked to you, brown eyes softening “they-they’re okay…” he said. “Nevine seems to be feeling a bit better but….it seems to get better for awhile then it turns for the worse”. Of all his friends- you were the one he trusted most. This was because of the fact he had been training you for months now. Thus with time. Getting to know you well. “I’m sorry…I hope they can treat her…” you said with sympathy. Your heart aching for him, knowing his pain. He cleared his throat and brushed off the heavy topic “thank you Y/N- now, how about you?” He wanted to check on you. Your parents had abandoned you years back and when you had been old enough, you had moved to Somaris. “I’m fine, a bit nervous for this mission but…we’ll be okay” you smiled a bit. Neither one of you knowing how wrong things would go on this mission.

You two caught up awhile before eventually training began. His larger hands handed you his blaster. Helping you aim. “Charge it up” he encouraged, you pushed a small button, firing up the weapon as it vibrated to life. Little glowing dots to show how many fires you had. You took aim at a rock. Brought the weapon close so you could eye it down the center, before firing a blast. A loud laser blast like sound firing off, the blast smacking the rock and causing some chunks to crumble into the waves. Your aim wasn’t bad- it wasn’t always accurate but it was a good aim. You were at an experience level now where Mills felt confident in allowing you to accompany him. He would have your back and you would have his. He was protective by nature, anyone he cared for he found himself being protective of. Maybe it was the father instincts in him, but even before becoming a father, he had that protective side. Just it had grown stronger when Nevine was born. Somaris was overall safe and peaceful, occasional skirmishes occurred, he would often have to help diffuse the situation, but overall not too much went on there. It was a planet with peaceful people. People who loved the sea and exploration. “Good shot” he praised you. He nodded “I think, you’re ready” he smiled at you softly.

Weeks went by and it was departure day. The passengers in their sleeping pods, you in the copilot chair. Mills at the controls. He had hugged Nevine and Alya goodbye and promised to try sending holos to them. He would miss them, but he had to focus now. “Ready for launch?” You asked him. You would help him along as he needed. But you doubted he’d need much help. Due to his skills. He nodded “ready” he said, he pushed a series of buttons and switches, the engine of the Zoic firing up as he pushed the control sticks, the ship rising up into the air as he pushed forward, flying off into the infinity of space. Time went by, months, a year, a year and a half.

Mills had received the news about a year and a half into their mission. His daughter Nevine had passed. He had went to his room and had stayed there for days. You weren’t sure of the news, he hadn’t told you. You were concerned for him though, he had been so withdrawn and distance. You set the ship to autopilot and went to his room. Pushing the door open button as you peered inside. Mills, normally composed, calm, and collected. Was curled up on himself. A holo of Nevine playing in the corner of the room. Your heart ached as you feared the worst. “Mills?” You asked softly. He must’ve heard you, because he moved some. “Leave me Y/N…” he mumbled. Grief tearing at his heart. He was pulled out of his grief however when something collided with the ship. You stumbled onto the floor with a grunt. “What the hell?” You mumbled as you slowly sat up. Mills helped you stand before he hurried you to the pilot chamber. He strapped you into your seat to secure you before he got into his own chair, buckling in.

“Zoic systems failing” a robotic women’s voice announced. “Initiating emergency landing”. One of the ship’s side wings broke off. The Zoic was going down. “This is the Zoic, mission 3172! Our ship is going down!” Mills yelled into the communicator, trying to contact help. He saw your panic and fear in your eyes as you shut your eyes tight. The ship smacked into trees, severing the ship in half as the front have skidded into water. Your ears were ringing, your leg burned with pain. Groaning, you tried opening your eyes. “Trajectory off course, location-unknown” the female robot voice repeated. You’re eyes finally opened, you saw a chunk of metal wedged painfully in your leg. You let out a whimper before you glanced to see Mill, still unconscious. “Mills? M-Mills please” you whimpered weakly. To you’re relief- you heard a groan and saw Mills stirring. He was alive, you winced when you saw his own injury. In his left side, a shard of metal had lodged itself, the wound bleeding slightly, you knew it would bleed heavier once removed.

He slowly lifted his head in pain, his ears ringing, his eyes still closed. He reached for a button, clicking it as his seat straightened up. His eyes opening slowly with another grunt of pain. “Y-Y/N?” He winced as he spoke. He looked down to see his wound. Muttering a swear under his breath in pain. His hand shaking as he pulled out the metal chunk. A pained sob escaping his lips. He slid out of the chair and to the floor before fumbling to his drawer. He noticed your wound and winced. His bleeding more now. His hands frantically searched for the item he sought. A can of medical freeze spray. He leaned back against the wall and sprayed the frigid cold liquid over his wound with a groan of pain. Before he grabbed a medkit and crawled to you. “Y-you okay?” He asked softly. You nodded groggily through your pain “y-yea…I think so…” you slowly unbuckled and slid to his side. Your leg ached “my leg…” you grunt out. Mills gently took his hands to your leg and carefully took out the metal chunk. Before gently applying an ointment and wrapping it in heavy gauze. “There…that should do” he breathed. He wasn’t concerned about his own injury. He only had so much medical supplies. “I-I need to go investigate…” he got up wincing, holding his left side as he went and grabbed his space like suit. “Stay here” he told you, his voice weak and shaky.

You hesitated but knew he was being serious. So you nodded. You reached for your weapon though. A blaster identical to his, you kept it close in case anything entered the broken ship. Clinging onto it. Meanwhile Mills had exited the ship. Walking through murky waters. He winced when he saw the carnage. Bodies in the water, one in the tree, some missing limbs or other parts. He grimaced as his stomach lurched with nausea. His breathing quickened as he fell to his knees. His thoughts lingering to Nevine, how he had lost her, he wouldn’t see her again, he grabbed his blaster- almost ready to end it all. When he stopped, he remembered you. Through it all, he remembered you. He knew he couldn’t leave you alone here. His eyes went to the blinking blue light- a Cryostasis pod, with a living passenger. There was one more survivor along with you two.

[ihearasound]

Finished onikakushi hen today for the first time!! Some thoughts as an anime only finally diving into the vns. There's spoilers (ash don't look)

I now absolutely get why vn fans say to still play the vns even though the anime is solid. Its interesting how wildly different they are in their approach. The anime was really good at the horror elements, but with the vn I could instantly make out the core theme of "talk to and trust your friends". It was so sweet to see how Keiichi already starts out feeling loved. He's part of the group and the village, and everyone wants him to feel welcome. Which makes it all the more heartbreaking watching that love and trust slowly crumble away as Keiichi isolates himself more and more. At a certain point it just got really hard to read knowing the truth.

My view of Rena changed completely with the VN. I always liked her and found her interesting, but with the anime focusing on the horror so much it completely sidelined Renas caring and loving personality in favor of scary. Seeing Rena care so so much for Keiichi until the bitter end despite it all... was just really heartbreaking, and I just wanted to hug her. She saw Keiichi struggling like she did, and she reaches out over and over. When she brought Keiichi dinner I MELTED at how excited she got telling him about all the things she got him. And despite Keiichi hurting her so much, she remains steadfast and wanting to help him. It's just... one mentally ill teen wanting to help another because she knows what it's like. She's just so full of love, even though she has so many burdens with her. I totally understand now why she's everyone's favourite.

Another character whose view on got totally changed was Ooishi. In the anime I just.. kinda always filed him as old man who talks funny. When sotsugou started I felt he was surprisingly aggressive. But now I realized it was 100% in line with how he is in the VN. I'm actually shocked about the lengths he went to. Its not like his behaviour was new in any way, but only now became I fully aware how irresponsibly he acted. Every time Keiichi decided he'd trust his friends Ooishi was there to put him right back on edge. Like, basically the majority of Keiichis behaviour is solely because Ooishi keeps feeding into it. And the things he shared with this young teen?? All his speculations, Renas medical records, all this personal info... just to get an edge on the investigations... pure cop behaviour. Just wild to me how everything that went wrong in Onikakushi was thanks to him.

I was also in awe at how much Keiichi loves his friends. He held out for so so long, putting his trust in his friends over and over and over again. It was very sweet to see how important they are to him, and seeing slowly feeling more and more alienated, suddenly a total outsider hurt all the more. Even more so knowing that no matter how much he isolated himself, his friends weren't giving up on him. I can already see the entire foundation for everything to come.

Overall im really glad I played through Onikakushi and I can't wait to get to the next one after I'm back from break

[the-void-writes]

Happy WBW :D

Any cool creatures / fantastical elements you're working on in lockhart manor that you're willing to tell me all about? :3

@bloodlessheirbyjacques <3

@bloodlessheirbyjacques It's still really messy 😅 but I'd love to share it, thank you 😊

I'll have to get into spoilers for SOLM, so I'll put them under the cut because this is super long anyway. To summarize, though, the biggest idea I have is this flesh monster that lives in either the woods or Cyrus' basement.

Okay, spoiler number one: The whole town of Hawthorn is actually full of "immortal ones." Something Cyrus' first ancestors did put everyone under this transformation that basically keeps them alive forever. They're not entirely like vampires, as they can still eat and walk outside, but they do have the fangs and stuff. Nearby towns at the time were disgusted by them and tried to exterminate everyone, a conflict that lasted for a long time until those villagers killed Cyrus' parents and he destroyed all the other towns in retaliation. (I don't know how much of this will stay canon 😅)

Spoiler number two: The flesh monster. I have two ideas for this thing:

1) The ancestors' actions may have opened a gateway for other bizarre creatures. This thing started off as a weak little lump that looked more like a brain. Cyrus took pity on it and started feeding it leftover limbs and stuff from whatever he or the town had eaten, perfect for disposing of waste. Now, the thing is about triple its original size, stretches the entire length of the woods, and looks more like a trail of uncooked dough with the limbs and faces of people it's consumed permanently embedded in its skin. Cyrus absolutely feeds a certain rude and manipulative TV host to his beloved pet.

2) The flesh thing lives in Cyrus' basement and is actually the amalgamation of Angelo and his crew all melted together as punishment for their treatment of Val and their blatant disrespect for the town and its history.

That second idea ties into my third nightmare concept: The manor feels like its alive. Whenever Val walks around at night, it feels like the floor is taking a breath. Certain hallways feel moist, the walls shudder on occasion, and it always seem to protect Val wherever they go. Either the house is alive, or its an extension of Cyrus. (Again, not sure if this will be canon because it's hard to pull off along with everything else unless I planned to make Cyrus the villain which is never 🤣)

Here's a bit of the flesh monster (starring Astrea and Elijah because this was supposed to be part of the crossover I wrote for them but I can't decide if it's okay):

Thick, wet footsteps echoed off the walls as Elijah marched forward, his arm secured tightly around Astrea. He didn’t dare to think about what he was stepping through. Not for his sake, of course. He had done far worse in his early days. No, his concern was for Astrea, who tried her best to illuminate the corridor, despite the darkness that seemed to go on forever. She was tougher than most, Elijah knew, but the sight of dead soldiers— or even worse, civilians— overwhelmed her with guilt. She didn’t need that again.

Wherever the spell from the library had sent them, it sounded empty, hollow like a rotting oak. Still, Elijah couldn’t shake the feeling of something moving behind him, something huge and sluggish, always reaching for him but falling short. The air was hot and damp, and Elijah could detect something foul; a monster’s aura, though it felt more like the memory of one long ago. Astrea could sense it, too. She wanted to look, but Elijah held her shoulder.

“Don’t, my love. Let it be.”

She nodded hesitantly. Better to think it a hallucination than to know it as a reality. They kept moving through the corridor that only seemed to get hotter and more damp, the light never reflecting off of anything nearby. One misstep from Elijah resulted in the darkness convulsing around them, sending Astrea stumbling into a wall as her flame flickered out. When she steadied her hand on the surface, though, something was clearly off. It was slimy, meaty, and pulsating. She drew her hand back and grabbed Elijah.

“El, I don’t think this is a cave.”

Astrea summoned her fire once more and chucked it behind her. It bounced off of something pink and puffy before fizzling out. The rumbling returned, followed by a sound that reverberated through their cores. Elijah took her hand and ran forward.

“How do we know which way is the end?” Astrea yelled.

“I assume the thing behind us was its tongue.”

“You better be right about that.”

Thankfully, a blinding light appeared on the horizon, a thin line that grew bigger and brighter. With Astrea tight in his grasp, Elijah charged forward, almost tripping over a jagged, hip-level tooth. He and his beloved tumbled onto a cold forest floor. Astrea stood and grabbed her daggers, lighting them aflame to better see the beast. The creature that stood before her defied explanation, a shapeless mass that seemed to go on for miles. Every so often, in the wrinkles of the thing’s flesh, she saw arms and heads, faces twisted in permanent agony. It was like a million people were melded together into a wad of clay.

Astrea dropped her daggers, overwhelmed by the pain that seemed to emit from this creature. If it was a collection of human consciousness, that meant it could be reasoned with. She held her hand out, using her magic to reach out to its mind, to ease its nerves. It shook and screeched before plopping onto the ground like a tired dog. The constant movements were beginning to cease, and the creature started to look more like red uncooked dough.

“That’s it,” Astrea whispered. “I won’t hurt you. You’ve suffered enough.”

[pocketbelt]

Final Fantasy IV Pixel Remaster (PC/Steam Deck)

I apologise in advance for the length.

Of the pre-Playstation "classic" Final Fantasies, I think FFIV is the one with the most versions/ports/remakes/remasters kicking about, not least because it technically has three separate versions on SNES (original JP, US, JP "Easytype" which is not purely a repackage of the US one). It's also debatably the most prominent of them, despite all of the love and accolades laid at VI's feet; after all, one of these two got a direct sequel over a decade later and it isn't FFVI. You might argue "it was an episodic game for Japanese flip-phones and later WiiWare", which is true, but I would counter "and it tangibly follows up on character arcs and threads from the original and does some of it justice".

But that's for another time.

Deciding "best version" of FFIV took a fair bit of thinking, but I think in the end the Pixel Remaster version just about takes it by a bit, with the added note that the GBA version is a very good alternative with bonus content (it has two bonus dungeons which are neat but not terribly compelling to me, but more importantly lets you swap your party around to use the members who drop out after certain plot points normally, so you aren't locked to the original final five). The Pixel Remaster is basically a grand amalgamation of the many mechanical and design tweaks, changes and additions of the PS1, GBA, PSP and DS versions, with some original ones thrown on to generally smooth the experience out.

Both are visually good updates and rather close to the SFC/SNES originals, both have well-translated and localised scripts but the Pixel Remaster does have fantastic remixes and versions of the original soundtrack, and they hit well enough to give it an edge. The resolution of the GBA does make it a little claustrophobic at times too, with the text boxes and text sizes relative to the rest of the screen.

Final Fantasy IV remains a superb game on its own terms; its music is fantastic, its story and writing are still simple but a noticeable leap above what the NES could manage and it has genuinely compelling moments and characters, and it's a mechanical and presentational leap in myriad ways. It's the origin of Final Fantasy's ATB combat system, which is mostly a way of presenting a turn-based system more dynamically than before (picking character actions as their turn comes up rather than queueing up everyone and watching the turn play out), which has advantages and disadvantages, but by and large I do prefer it to most turn-based games - although, being its first incarnation, IV's version does lack some refinements that really make it shine to my eye (for instance, ATB gauges pause every time an enemy acts, which is aggravating in fights with multiple/very active enemies, and something they resolve after a point).

On the one hand, its overworld/"cutscene" sprites are very simplistic and small; on the other, they're used so well and directed so carefully in a way such scenes rarely were before in console games that they are some of more expressive characters of their time. And, of course, there is its true strength: FFIV is basically the bar to meet for "gameplay-story integration", for integrating your storytelling with gameplay mechanics and using the two inform, show and tell their opposite number. And I don't mean in a "meta" sense either, I mean in a pure and straightforward sense. You can think of and find examples that go above and beyond, for sure, but I call it the bar because FFIV presents a largely achievable standard that many games (indeed, most 'Western'/anglospheric games above a certain amount of budget for decades now) fail to manage.

As ever, more assorted waffle and spoilers (or 'spoilers') under the cut, but Final Fantasy IV is a game worth playing if you love your RPGs and is practically 'required reading', in my eye, if you want to be academic about game design, this genre and story-telling in games in general.

Seriously, the ways Final Fantasy IV's narrative is woven through the design of the game itself is at once detailed but also simple. "Gameplay-story integration" always sounds hard or overly complex or even hoity-toity, but consider some of the ways FFIV does it:

Rydia is traumatised by the burning of her village at the start of the game. She can use Black Magic, but cannot learn Fire, despite learning the others normally as she levels. She doesn't 'unlock' Fire until she pushes herself to overcome her fear of flames at a fixed point in the story.

Because Rydia can't use Fire to that point, Undead enemies aren't common but when they do show up they can be perturbingly resilient. They aren't too bothered by Cecil's Dark Knight powers, some are resistant to physical hits and are often most easily dealt with by exploiting that healing/resurrection spells have the opposite effect on them. Thus, a bit later, when Golbez fears Cecil becoming an issue, he sends Scarmiglione, Elemental Lord of Earth and prime among the undead, to handle him using the logic that they aren't bothered by Darkness...but Golbez doesn't account for Palom and Porom's presence, only the absence of Rydia and Rosa.

Tellah the Sage is really old and not up for going on a grand quest for revenge, but he is driven to do so anyway out of sheer hatred and anger toward Golbez for killing his daughter. Sometimes when he levels up, he doesn't gain any stats and in some versions he actively loses them. He also has a really basic spell set until exposed to the magic of Mt. Ordeals, whereupon (in unsealing the Meteor spell he came seeking) he remembers them and becomes the great sage anew.

Meteor is the supreme Black Magic spell, and is so powerful that it's truly demanding to cost. Tellah alone has the skill to use it initially, but once you get it, you find it costs more MP than he has, and he never gains more MP. Thus, the system reinforces the fact that to cast Meteor, Tellah would have go beyond just giving it his all to use it...

The famous one: Cecil is clouded with doubt and self-loathing and guilt as a Dark Knight for the crimes he committed at his liege's order. A Dark Knight must give of his life to wield Darkness as a weapon (the Darkness command costs HP to use but will decimate or bisect most encounters early on). Atop Mt. Ordeals, Cecil faces a magic mirror that creates a shadowy clone of him, a manifestation of his guilt; to achieve penance, you must fight the doppelganger with Cecil alone...and do nothing. You're put into an actual fight with it and have full control, and must wait for it to deliver attacks; attacking at all prolongs the fight, as to do so is to reject or resist accepting Cecil's guilt. Once completed, Cecil is transformed into a Paladin, a literal class change as in FFIII's job system, and is reset to Lv1 but with a powerful new sword, fantastic base stats and the same EXP reqs as other early-game Lv1 characters, so he grows quickly.

A character is turned to stone of their own will to stop a wall from advancing and crushing the trapped party. Tellah attempts to cure their petrification by casting Esuna, the catch-all status effect curing spell, in the cutscene and it fails to work because the character willed their petrification, rather than being subjected to it.

I could go on but I think this is a good example of what I mean. FFIV uses its mechanics (the battle system and screen, your very stat, equipment and magic screens on the menu and the established mechanics you use to do things) to convey, reinforce and even perform its story. There are many examples of scripted fights where the game enters the battle screen to play out a fight as a story sequence automatically - that seems so basic to us now, but that was still a very new idea when it came out. Tellah learns a spell he can't use without an unfathomable cost, Rydia can't learn a spell because she associates it with the destruction of her home and the death of her mother, Cecil literally gets better as a party member when he comes to terms with his guilt and sheds the symbol of it by changing class, and more; in past games characters could dual-wield freely as any class, but now only Yang and Edge (a life-long trained monk and ninja respectively) can dual-wield weapons, being both ambidextrous and trained to do so, whereas the knightly Cecil and Kain are trained to use shields in their off-hand and so can't dual-wield.

You can also use these systems to add little details; as mentioned, Yang and Edge are ambidextrous, and that's noted by both weapon slots being labelled as their preferred/favoured hand. Kain is left-handed so his weapon and shield slot are flipped on his equip screen.

A lot of this is basic and simple stuff in its own right, but you'd be surprised by how often games that cost infinitely more and involved hundreds or thousands of more people don't even come close to this level of care. I think often about Rockstar's games, for example, where missions will instantly fail you for not doing things exactly as they scripted, even if you achieve the goal of the mission or objective of the character in that moment (like killing a guy too soon).

There's also an aspect that doesn't get considered as much as it should; because the story is considered so much, the different areas and regions of the world are designed around the party members you have when going through them in the story. This also extends to the enemy encounters; when you have characters capable of significant crowd-control, like the mage-heavy party going through Mt. Ordeals, enemy numbers are significantly higher per fight than they are elsewhere. When you have mostly single-target attackers on hand, enemy count comes down a bit, but they become individually bulkier and often have weaknesses to specific weapons that are provided or available around the place. The game seeds equipment around dungeons to compliment the party the devs know you'll come in with. That seems obvious, but remember; in FFI and most of FFIII, the devs can't know or guarantee that you'll have a specific set-up at any given point. They can force a White Mage on you for some parts, and force the four-Dragoon party for Garuda, but they don't want to be doing that all the time as they also want you to freely design and utilise parties you prefer, so most fights in most places are just straight slug-fests with no regard for what you can have. FFI has it worse as the devs can only truly know you have four characters, you can't change classes in that one, so all fights have to be more or less winnable by any party combination.

Now, they can not only know but guarantee who you'll have in any given area when it matters most, which lets them design fights around that. Moreover, as they can control who leaves and who joins the party when through the story, they can design areas around characters you will get in a little bit, which means encounters can really put the squeeze on you until they join and bring things back in line. It lets them emphasise each character's strengths and capabilities and utilities, or make their presence valued in a direct material way which engenders positive sentiment in the player. Yes, that's basic and even seems obvious, but so many can't or won't do even this.

I mentioned in the FFIII post (and probably the FFII post as well, I forget) that IV is where the series becomes itself, and to elaborate, it's pretty much because of the above and how IV is distinctly a fusion of all three of the previous games. Classes are fixed like in FFI but the class change idea of FFIII is a plot point; characters are actual distinct people with names and personalities and histories like in FFII, but the SNES has actual room to convey that more easily and express it both with text and more elaborately animated or depicted scenes. The class archetypes established in III are all distinct entities in IV's world; Black Mages, White Mages, Sages, Paladins, Dark Knights, Dragoons, Monks, Ninjas, these are all entities in the setting with actual societal and military ramifications and considerations. II's attempts at cutscenes and story battles, as mentioned, are significantly improved upon and take centre stage, becoming one of the defining elements of the series now.

One aspect also shines through in FFIV compared to its predecessors and contemporaries: encounter design. While there were RPGs with some notion of designing fights, mainly boss fights, around specific approaches and ideas, most of the time fights in FC/NES RPGs were straight slug-fests. The sauciest it would get would be hitting an enemy's weakness or sometimes having to contend with status effects, and rarely a special gimmick. FFIII is one of the notable examples here, the oft-mentioned Garuda fight is a good example: that fight assumes a full party of Dragoons, who can Jump and be off-screen for a turn and thus avoid all of Garuda's attacks. To reinforce this, Garuda's attacks are incredibly powerful and will quickly decimate a non-Dragoon party and there is little recourse you can take (bar simply massively over-levelling to force through him). The Barrier Shift boss is a similar idea, a boss that changes its weakness every few turns and so you must take measures to identify the new one or it will absorb your spells and waste your MP and time.

FFIV has rather more elaborate encounter design, a good deal of which is enabled by the Active Time Battle system. The ATB system lets characters take actions when their ATB gauge fills, which as mentioned means you don't queue up attacks to go and then watch the turn play out, but rather more dynamically act as the enemy's actions happen in and around your own. A key element of this is that enemies will take their turns even as you sit on a character's menu (if you set the game mode to 'Active', they'll take their turns while you're fucking about inside the magic and item menus, and otherwise don't; a lot of people say to use 'Active' but I tend to prefer 'Wait' just because the inventory can be a whole fucking thing sometimes), which means that you can 'wait' by just idling on their menu.

This is best demonstrated by the first boss fight, the Mist Dragon. Every few of its turns, it will dissolve into a mist cloud that can't be damaged and will deal a stinging counter to the whole party if attacked. In a regular turn-based system this would involve spending turns using Defend or some other means to burn turns, in the ATB system you can just wait a few seconds for it to eat a turn of its own or two and then it reforms, and just line up your commands as it's animating the reformation. Sounds simple, but it adds a level of nuance to fights that allows for things like hovering on the party healer's turn to get off a heal/status cure/resurrection ASAP the second you need to while keeping everyone else ticking over. If more than one character has a full ATB, you can swap to the others to use their turns as you wait. It allows a layer of strategising somewhat distinct from regular turn-based systems; one downside of this is if Bahamut decides he hates your healer, he can (and will) just kill them while you're sitting on them or going through your menu, snapping it closed then and there, which can be quite a bit more annoying than a healer being sniped before they get their spell off in the old FF turn-based system.

With that concept, of turns happening a lot more "on the fly" and in an adjustable and even controllable order: you can line up who goes before or after who in your party by "holding" someone back, for instance - like say, holding Rydia back until Rosa can go and use Dispel to break the Reflect on an enemy, letting Rydia's spells actually go through (in the versions of the game that permit that, at least, which I think are the 3D remake and the Pixel Remaster; I forget if GBA allows it). That gets paired with a generally greater focus on turn order, turn count and also status effects: Reflect is the star of the show here, with multiple boss fights being based around the boss or one of its adds utilising or providing Reflect to ward off your spells, or to do tricks like bouncing spells off of itself.

In FFIV, and many later FFs, a spell bounced off a Reflect will ignore Reflect on whoever it's bounced to in order to prevent eternal 'tennis matches'. FFVII tries to add a bit of nuance by making spells bounce between Reflects up to four times before 'piercing' through, but the idea's the same. Some bosses will cast Reflect on you to try and get you to bounce healing spells onto them, or will cast Reflect on themselves or an add and target spells at it to lob them at you and get through Reflect on your side. Other elements FFIV utilises to design special fights that must be navigated in specific ways:

Counters! Some bosses will counter-attack if attacked in specific states, or will perform automatic counter-attacks in response to specific attacks, i.e. being hit with a spell. This latter one is one aspect of what makes Zeromus an unholy terror if playing unguided.

Special states. Some bosses will change state/stance and this will usually cause some effect; sometimes it's simply being immune to damage, but some bosses will gain more Evasion, require being hit with a specific action to become targettable again, or invert their elemental weaknesses and resistances, or gain counters - usually some combination of all of these.

Multiple opponents. Some bosses will have simple adds they summon or you have to kill, nothing special there, but some will come as sets of 2, 3 or 4 distinct entities who work together in a specific way or pattern that requires you to figure out how to prise open their defences or mitigate their offence. For example, a core "big boss" unit that summons an attacker and a healer, and if you kill both it does a special move and re-summons both, and the healer will immediately undo any head-way you've made on the big boss' HP. So you kill the healer and just weather the attacker's onslaught until the big boss falls.

This leads to a lot of 'puzzle' fights, which demonstrate a level of thinking about the mechanics and the direction and choreography of a fight far beyond the prior Final Fantasies. It's the point where the devteam have come into their element and truly begun engaging with the systems they've built to create memorable encounters. And the answer is always either given to you somewhere (either by stumbling into "the trap" and being warned by a character with mid-fight dialogue, being plainly observable, or in text somewhere in the world; the tricks to beating Odin and Bahamut are in books in a specific location, for example), too, this isn't some "we made this to sell guides" Sierra adventure game shit.

This is true of some random encounters, too, quite a few of which actually show that they are encounters with some thought behind them. Enemies that co-ordinate buffs or attack combinations, enemies that heal each other, enemies that can give mid-battle dialogue to trigger their minions' actions and respond to their deaths (usually by fleeing the second their minions go down; tellingly first observed by a "General"/"Captain" after his men die). Many are still just slug-fests/burn-down fights because that's honestly just good for pacing, but it provides variety to dungeon crawls and can make some encounters memorable or infamous for reasons other than "hits really hard".

The ATB system also has profound meaning for Slow and Haste; instead of simply increasing or decreasing speed stats/'initiative' for turn order, Slow and Haste make ATB gauges go slower or faster, which effectively means less or more turns. Slow becomes immeasurably valuable for sticking onto bosses, and Haste becomes critical for your party. And the game will have fun with that occasionally; one optional boss will stick Doom (countdown from 10 to auto-kill the afflicted; this is Doom's debut, I believe, an FF staple!) on your party and then cast Haste on everyone, which makes Doom tick down faster. So you have to either kill it real quick in your Hasted state, or cast Slow on the party to bring the counter under control...or kill someone and resurrect them to free them of the timer, if you want (though I think it just re-applies Doom+Haste if you do). This makes these two spells the most valuable buff and debuff in the game, and while bosses ignore a lot of status effects, a good chunk of them (including the final boss!) do not resist Slow!

All of this; the massively improved (and, well, existant) encounter design, the gameplay-story integration, the much more developed and involved story and characters and the mechanics taking their core shape after three forms of experiment, and the introduction of the ATB system, all of this is why I say that Final Fantasy IV is where Final Fantasy "becomes itself". This is the series' identity come together at last, with all of its key components online in some form (if needing refinement or improvement in places) and its world and aesthetic elements all coalescing to form a cohesive whole. Going from the NES FFs to FFIV is fucking insane, honestly, we really don't get generational leaps this big any more.

This has gone on quite a bit (can you tell I particularly adore FFIV) so I'll start to wrap up. Two last key points: version preferences, and Zeromus.

First, I was going to put this above but I mused over the version differences some when deciding which got picked as the 'definitive edition':

The SFC/SNES originals, all three versions (OG JP, US, JP Easytype) all have their own issues and weird changes. A fan translation of the original Japanese version with some gameplay tweaks might be the ideal way to play these, as the original US localisation sucks (not surprising for the time, really) and the other releases have their own problems.

The PS1 version is actually pretty alright, all things considered, it's just blighted by CD load times in particular. It has a vastly superior localisation compared to the SNES one, though it's still not ideal; the GBA version will build upon and refine it and that one will mostly be the basis for later versions.

The GBA release has bonus dungeons, the first properly good English script and lets you cycle in party members who usually drop out of the plot at points towards the end, so you can alter your party setup for the final dungeon. That's interesting, at least, and the bonus dungeons are good if you want more meaty gaming, but I didn't find them overly compelling when weighing up an ideal experience. This version is also decently close to the SNES visuals but with improved colours and such, though the resolution makes things feel cramped.

The PSP 'Complete Collection' has the Art Gallery, Music Player and Bestiary concepts that the Pixel Remasters will adopt later, and also has FFIV: The After Years included, along with a brand new original intermission chapter 'Interlude' to bridge the original and TAY. That sounds like the optimal version, but unfortunately I find the spritework here pretty ugly, it does mar the experience a bit even as it tries to be faithful. So close, lads.

The DS once again got a 3D remake, and it's interesting; it has full voice acting with an actually good English track (and there's a JP one, though I forget if that was on-cart for the Western releases), and being 3D means it needs to redo cutscenes, which it does with quite some skill. The localisation is also significantly different from other versions, and actually improved in quite a few ways: for example, this one introduces the term "Carnelian Signet", so it isn't so silly when Cecil and Kain are shocked that the thing called the Bomb Ring is a bomb. There are also some interesting new mechanics, like Augments, which let you equip people with the innate skills of other party members, or special attacks of bosses. But, like FFIII DS, this version is made significantly harder and it's done in often poor ways (for example, gutting the gil payout for fights, which makes updating equipment fucking horrendous from the halfway point on). That makes it rather poor for a first go, but it's interesting to look at if you want a different style for FFIV. It's also on PSP and Steam, for your emulation/platform preferences.

The Pixel Remaster is an amalgam of the PS1, GBA, PSP and DS versions, mostly the middle two. It has mostly the same translation as them, it uses some ideas (like Dispel breaking Reflect, a later FF rule that FFIV DS brings to IV) from the 3D remake and adds the sprinting from PS1. It smooths over other design ideas (making arrows infinite, for example) and is among the most bug-free of the releases. It also has a much more comfortable resolution, a really good aesthetic lift of the SNES sprites and style, and its OST of remixes and new arrangements is top-notch.

So it sort of comes down to if the GBA bonus content matters to you, or you have no other comfortable way to also play The After Years (which has a IV DS style 3D remake on Steam, by the by). If it doesn't and TAY doesn't factor in, Pixel Remaster does ultimately take it, but there is something to the GBA version's party freedom that makes it worth considering.

On that note, if emulating the GBA version, go with the PAL release. 50Hz was dying off by this point but also never applied to handhelds anyway, and the PAL release came 6 months after all the others: as they were wont to do for us, almost as if in exchange for the delays for us, Square made the PAL release a distinctly improved version. In this case, it fixes almost all of the bugs that plagued the US and original JP release (and after the PAL release, they updated the JP release to use its fixes). It's the version to use.

Finally, Zeromus. I always feel like I have to mention Zeromus when talking people into FFIV because he's a total fuck. He's the final boss and he's a gigantic difficulty spike if you don't know the deceptively simple approach to contending with him. He routinely blasts the party with a devastating party-wide attack, he periodically deletes all buffs and debuffs, and he hard-counters all the obvious big damage methods with counter-attacks that come independent of his own turns (so if he's about to take his turn and you trigger a counter, he will counter and then also immediately nuke you). There's a lot of horseshit and bluster around him, so here's the shit:

Zeromus counters all Black (and I think White) Magic used on him by casting Flare on someone at random. This will usually do in the area of 2500-3000 damage, which will kill everyone but Cecil or Kain between Lvs50 and mid-60s, and even then will usually set them up to die in Big Bang.

Zeromus counters Summons by broad-casting Bio onto the party, doing 1000-1700 damage and inflicting Sap (constant real-time HP drain) on everyone. This, too, will basically set you up to die to Big Bang if Rosa isn't immediately about to heal everyone.

Zeromus periodically casts Black Hole to delete all buffs (and I think also debuffs but unsure), so don't particularly bother with Protect/Shell/Haste. They'll get deleted and in the time it takes you to do them, Zeromus will hack chunks out of you that you desperately need Rosa to fix rather than set up buffs Zeromus will eat seconds later.

Big Bang is the real killer. This is 2000-2500 damage to all party members very frequently. The only real way to deal with this is to have Rosa be equipped with the biggest Spirit-boosting staff you have (and any other applicable gear that doesn't compromise her own durability), and then group-cast Curaja every single turn. Every one. If you're lucky you can save MP one turn with a Curaga instead but you'll basically be spamming Curaja every turn to mend each Big Bang's impact.

You will see people online say that stealing an item called Dark Matter from Zeromus will weaken Big Bang's damage. This is horseshit; the Dark Matter does nothing in most versions, it's basically a bragging rights trophy for flexing on him (especially in versions where it isn't on his attack-less "plot" first form). Though, you do need it in the 3D remake to unlock a special boss fight in NG+.

So, what's the trick? Well, besides being durable enough to live a Big Bang with around half of Cecil's HP (and also Kain's if you can manage it) and have Rosa's group-Curaja heal close to that, it's simple: just have everyone but Rosa use Attack. Edge can throw instead, and you should just chuck all your big Fuma Shurikens and special weapons you didn't use for the big damage, and when out have him attack. If you're saucy, use Bacchus Ciders or cast Berserk on the lads to get more damage in between Black Holes, or equip Cecil with the Avenger (which auto-Berserks).

The real part of the trick is that if Rydia goes down, let her stay down; even with a good bow and Artemis arrows, her damage isn't worth the costs and risks of resurrecting her. The same ultimately goes for Edge, if he drops let him stay down. Rosa's Curaja will heal more when split across fewer people, and around Lv57-60 with 3 people she can completely absorb Big Bang's damage between casts. Just keep Cecil and Kain attacking and occasionally popping a Dry Ether or Elixir on Rosa to refill her MP (but make them do it, don't let her stop casting Curaja).

Zeromus will flop over dead pretty quickly, especially if Edge got some good Throws in before dying; in some versions Zeromus will inexplicably get a one-time heal of 9999 when he hits 50% HP, which is your sign that it's going well.

Honestly it's a bit of a weird and demented fight given how considered and properly puzzle-y all the other boss fights can be, but it does make Zeromus a big memorable bastard and make him seem like the most evil of all.

Anyway, play FFIV, it's good. One day I will probably vomit words about The After Years, it's interesting. I never did play that 3D remake version of TAY, maybe it'll be when I do that.